#all encompassing and non denominational

[isthatacalzone]

im kinda a bit obsessed with how Alex cares so deeply about Darlington, is desperate to get him out of hell, but it's the same sort of loyalty she has for the rest of her tribe. she'd go just as hard for Dawes, for example. she's clearly attracted to Darlington, but can't let herself believe in a world where she loves him because she's too much of a mess.

Darlington, on the other hand, just wants to fuck her so badly.

#hell bent #you understand im generalising here #like his relationship to her is obviously more complicated than that but like #idk how to explain it other than his attraction to her is simpler. he's devoted & in love #Alex's on the other hand is. it's queer love #all encompassing and non denominational #she loves as the protector #she does not love as someone who wants anything for herself #Darlington's feelings toward Alex are all about wanting and devouring #idk! its so interesting to me!!! #hell bent spoilers #alex stern #darlington

[justalittlesolarpunk]

You mentioned that you are pagan? Or interested in that side of things? How so, if I may? :)

I'm pagan (non denominational goddess worship) and I'm growing more interested in ecology and everything encompassed in solar punk, so I'm interested to hear how your interest coincides with being/interest in paganism

Hi! Yes. I’m still very much just dipping my toe into paganism, so I use the term loosely as I don’t feel informed enough yet to be more specific. I’m interested by neo-Druidry and drawn to Celtic Polytheism, but mainly because it’s most compatible with my heritage, not because it seems more right or true than any other pagan belief system I’ve come across.

I call myself a pagan because I believe that the matter of the earth itself is what is sacred, that the world is full of gods older than any of the names we have given them, inhabiting the water and the rocks, the trees and the soil, the animals and the herbs. I guess you could say ecology is my religion in some senses - the way everything fits together in harmony, from the Wood Wide Web to the salmon run, never fails to make me feel close to the divine.

For me personally, my paganism is very close to solarpunk. I’m a solarpunk because I think living in harmony with the earth is sacred. I’m a pagan because I think saving the planet requires all aspects of our lives and selves. And vice versa, if that makes sense. Now of course, I’m sure there are many deeply committed, principled and hardworking solarpunks who are atheists, agnostic, humanists, Christians, Jewish, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists, Baha’is and Zoroastrians, or who follow indigenous spiritualities, and I think all these belief systems are compatible in their own way with solarpunk (which actually has a lot in common with an apocatastatic religion but don’t get my theology nerd brain started on that). But for me, I couldn’t conceive of being a pagan and not a solarpunk too, or a solarpunk and not some sort of nature worshipper. But religion is very personal.

Hope this explains ok - my feelings around faith are very blobby and hard to verbalise 😅😆

#solarpunk #hopepunk #environmentalism #cottagepunk #social justice #community #optimism #bright future #climate justice #tidalpunk #lunarpunk #neopaganism #religion #ecosystem #ecology #nature religion #ecopagan

[rw7771]

The main forms of religious belief are:

Theism:

The belief in the existence of one or more divinities or deities, which exist within the universe and yet transcend it. These gods also in some way interact with the universe (unlike Deism), and are often considered to be omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. The word "theism" was first coined in the 17th Century to contrast with Atheism. Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, Sikhism, Baha'i and Zoroastrianism are all theistic religions.

Monotheism:

The view that only one God exists. The Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), as well as Plato's concept of God, all affirm monotheism, and this is the usual conception debated within Western Philosophy. Jews, Christians and Muslims would probably all agree that God is an eternally existent being that exists apart from space and time, who is the creator of the universe, and is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), omnibenevolent (all-good or all-loving) and possibly omnipresent (all-present). The religions, however, differ in the details: Christians, for example, would further affirm that there are three aspects to God (the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit).

Exclusive Monotheism: The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are distinct from it and false. The Abrahamic religions, and the Hindu denomination of Vaishnavism (which regards the worship of anyone other than Vishnu as incorrect) are examples of Exclusive Monotheism.

Inclusive monotheism: The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are just different names for it. The Hindu denomination of Smartism is an example of Inclusive Monotheism.

Substance Monotheism: The belief (found in some indigenous African religions) that the many gods are just different forms of a single underlying substance.

Pantheism:

The belief that God is equivalent to Nature or the physical universe, or that everything is of an all-encompassing immanent abstract God. The concept has been discussed as far back as the time of the philosophers of Ancient Greece, including Thales, Parmenides and Heraclitus. Baruch Spinoza also believed in a kind of naturalistic pantheism in which the universe, although unconscious and non-sentient as a whole, is a meaningful focus for mystical fulfillment.

Panentheism:

The belief (also known as Monistic Monotheism), similar to Pantheism, that the physical universe is joined to God, but stressing that God is greater than (rather than equivalent to) the universe. Thus, the one God interpenetrates every part of nature, and timelessly extends beyond as well. The universe is part of God, but not all of God. The word (which can be translated as "all in God") was coined by the German philosopher Karl Christian Friedrich Krause (1781–1832) in 1828 in an attempt to reconcile Monotheism and Pantheism.

Deism:

A form of monotheism in which it is believed that one God exists, but that this God does not intervene in the world, or interfere with human life and the laws of the universe. It posits a non-interventionist creator who permits the universe to run itself according to natural laws. Deism derives the existence and nature of God from reason and personal experience, rather than relying on revelation in sacred scriptures or the testimony of others, and can maybe best be described as a basic belief rather than as a religion in itself. The roots of Deism lie with Heraclitus and Plato, but it was also popular with the natural theologists of 17th Century France and, particularly, Britain, who rejected any special or supposedly supernatural revelation of God.

Pandeism: The belief that God preceded the universe and created it, but is now equivalent to it - a composite of Deism and Pantheism.

Panendeism is a composite of Deism and Panentheism. It holds that, while the universe is part of God, it operates according to natural mechanisms without the need for the intervention of a traditional God, somewhat similar to the Native American concept of the all- pervading Great Spirit.

Polydeism: The belief that multiple gods exist, but do not intervene with the universe - a composite of Deism and Polytheism.

Misotheism:

The belief that a God or gods exist, but that they are actually evil. The English word was coined by Thomas de Quincey in 1846. Strictly speaking, the term connotes an attitude of hatred towards the god or gods, rather than making a statement about their nature.

Dystheism:

The belief that a God or gods exist, but that they are not wholly good, or possibly even evil (as opposed to eutheism, the belief that God exists and is wholly good). Trickster gods found in polytheistic belief systems often have a dystheistic nature, and there are various examples of arguable dystheism in the Bible.

Ditheism (or Duotheism):

The belief in two equally powerful gods, often, but not always, with complementary properties and in constant opposition, such as God and Goddess in Wicca, or Good and Evil in Zoroastrianism and Manichaeism. The early mystical religion Gnosticism is another example of a ditheistic belief of sorts, due to their claim that the thing worshipped as God in this world is actually an evil impostor, but that a true benevolent deity worthy of being called "God" exists beyond this world.

Polytheism:

The belief in, or worship of, multiple gods (usually assembled in a pantheon). These gods are often seen as similar to humans (anthropomorphic) in their personality traits, but with additional individual powers, abilities, knowledge or perceptions. Hard Polytheism views the gods as being distinct and separate beings, such as in Ancient Greek Mythology. Soft Polytheism views the gods as being subsumed into a greater whole, as in most forms of Hinduism.

Henotheism: The devotion to a single god while accepting the existence of other gods, and without denying that others can with equal truth worship different gods. It has been called "monotheism in principle and polytheism in fact".

Monolatrism (or Monolatry): The belief in the existence of many gods, but with the consistent worship of only one deity. Unlike Henotheism, Monolatrism asserts that there is only one god who is worthy of worship, though other gods are known to exist.

Kathenotheism: The belief that there is more than one deity, but only one deity at a time should be worshipped, each being supreme in turn.

Animism:

The belief that souls inhabit all or most objects (whether they be animals, vegetables or minerals). Animistic religions generally do not accept a sharp distinction between spirit and matter, and assume that this unification of matter and spirit plays a role in daily life. Early Shintoism was animistic in nature, as are many indigenous African religions. Shamanism (communication with the spirit world) and Ancestor Worship (worship of deceased family members, who are believed to have a continued existence and influence) are similar categories.

Atheism (or Nontheism):

The belief that gods do not exist, or a complete rejection of Theism in any form. Some atheists argue a lack of empirical evidence for the existence of deities, while others argue for Atheism on philosophical, social or historical grounds. Many atheists tend toward secular philosophies such as Humanism and Naturalism. Atheism may be implicit (someone who has never thought about belief in gods) or explicit (someone who has made an assertion, either weak or strong, regarding their lack of belief in gods). Confucianism, Taoism, Jainism and some varieties of Buddhism, either do not include belief in a personal god as a tenet of the religion, or actively teach nontheism.

Agnosticism:

The belief that the nature and existence of gods is unknown and cannot ever be known or proven. Technically, this position is strong agnosticism: in popular usage, an agnostic may just be someone who takes no position, pro or con, on the existence of gods, or who has not yet been able to decide, or who suspends judgment due to lack of evidence one way or the other (weak agnosticism). The earliest professed agnostic was Protagoras, although the term itself, which literally means "without knowledge", was not coined until the 1880s by T. H. Huxley (1825 - 1895).

Humanism:

Humanism is more an ethical process, not a dogma about the existence or otherwise of gods. But in general terms, it rejects the validity of transcendental justifications, such as a dependence on belief without reason, the supernatural, or texts of allegedly divine origin. It is therefore generally compatible with Atheism and Agnosticism, but does not require these, and can be compatible with some religions. To some extent, it supplements or supplants the role of religions, and can be considered in some ways as "equivalent" to a religion.

[pearlsandpemberly]

p1: if i'm losing a piece of me (how do i get to heaven) - miya atsumu x sakusa kiyoomi

Summary:

Atsumu knows what it means to be gay. And Atsumu knows he's going to be fine. But when he meets Kiyoomi, Atsumu discovers that he knows nothing and that he will not be fine at all.

Genre: Angst, Romance

POV: Third Person

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55297099/chapters/140278588

Notes: this story surrounds a lot of religious settings and content; it's vague (non-specific Christian denomination) and will not completely and accurately encompass the experience of growing up religious and queer. Religious talk is light, but it's there, so please read at your own discretion.

Part 1 - Part 2

*

Chapter 1: before

Atsumu knows what it means to be gay.

He knows that, from a young age, whenever his father would talk about his future wife, that a wife is his only option.

He knows that the word ‘homosexual’ is to be said clinically and in hushed tones, like one is speaking in an oncology ward.

He knows the slew of harsher words that can be used that he will never say because they cut on his tongue.

He knows that when a girl had gone missing from church for almost two months that her parents hadn’t uttered a word to the teenagers or children, only speaking to the adults about ‘success rates’ and things ‘being for the best’.

He knows what it all means. And Atsumu knows that he will be fine.

But when he meets Kiyoomi, Atsumu discovers that he knows nothing and that he will not be fine at all.  

*

The Sakusa family are new, sitting three pews behind the Miyas, and the son sits closest to the aisle. His back is straight and his hands are rigid in his lap. His hair is dark and curly, though someone has made an effort to tame it. There are several moles at the base of his neck, stark against his pale skin.

Atsumu can’t stop staring until his mother taps the back of his head.

When they pray, Atsumu rests his chin on his clasped hands, but this time keeps his eyes slightly open; he cranes his neck around to see the son only slightly bow his head, eyes barely shut. When everyone stands to leave at the end of the service, Atsumu watches the Sakusas stand and notes that the son is slightly taller than him, too.

He meets the son at the next church event.

Atsumu’s talking away at his brother until he zeros in on the lone teenager standing in the corner, hands in pockets. Osamu notices him too but doesn’t seem too bothered. “Leave him be,” he says, tugging his twin’s wrist. “By the looks of him, he probably won’t enjoy your company.”

It’s a one in two chance that Atsumu will listen to Osamu – this time, he doesn’t.

Walking over with a ton of unearned confidence, Atsumu comes to a stop in front of the stranger. “Nice to meet you,” he says, extending a hand the way his father taught him to. “I’m Atsumu – the priest’s son.”

Dark eyes seem to scan him up and down – he makes no effort to move his own hands. “Kiyoomi,” he eventually replies. His mouth barely moves, like the name had been pulled from him involuntarily. Atsumu turns and sees a tall dark-haired woman staring pointedly at the pair.

Atsumu’s hand falls back to his side. “Well, it’s good to have you here. You live close by?”

He’s being watched and the back of his neck grows hot as Kiyoomi’s eyes bore into him, refusing to satisfy him with an answer. Atsumu notices the two moles dotted above his right eyebrow.

Eventually, Kiyoomi opens his mouth and Atsumu raises an eyebrow.

 “Is your hair supposed to be that colour?”

Heat floods in his cheeks as Atsumu touches the top of his head. “Yeah,” is his defiant, slightly defensive answer. “Got sick of people not being able to tell me and Samu apart. That’s him.” He gestures in a vague direction, knowing that Osamu will be there. Kiyoomi’s head turns and, sure enough, there he is. “He wishes he was as cool as me.”

Kiyoomi’s expression barely shifts, but it’s enough to make Atsumu start to back away. “Guess I’ll see you Sunday,” he mutters.

He trudges away, silently sulking as he returns to his brother’s side. “Told ya,” Osamu laughs when Atsumu relays the brief conversation, wincing when Atsumu lands a kick on his ankle.

*

Kiyoomi starts going to their high school as well, and Atsumu always manages to place him during lunch.

He eats alone, sometimes curled up with a book but mostly choose to stare at the space in front of him. He tries his best never to touch anything more than he has to. He’s motionless for the forty minutes, only on occasion flexing his wrists and fingers, perhaps to pass the time.

Atsumu doesn’t make the mistake of approaching him; it’s not as easy as it used to be when they were in elementary school.

The only class they share is maths, but they’re at opposite ends of the room. Kiyoomi’s good, though he doesn’t make any noise about it. He doesn’t talk to anyone in there either.

They share most of the route home too, but Kiyoomi’s always far enough ahead that the chance of them catching each other organically is next to none. Atsumu makes conversation with his friends and Osamu with ease, but he’s always aware of when Kiyoomi turns left five minutes away from the Miya household.

*

Their next proper run-in is at the youth group.

The twins take turns leading the children whilst the deacon leads the teenagers. Atsumu doesn’t mind because he and his brother can quote scripture like others can quote song lyrics and have had the teachings imprinted on their brains since birth. Kiyoomi is a new face there too, expressionless as usual, but he partakes with practised ease. His eyes occasionally flit over to watch Atsumu spin in a circle with a hoard of kids, laughing at the top of his lungs.

When it comes to an end, Osamu complains that Atsumu isn’t helping enough with the cleaning, but Atsumu isn’t listening because he sees Kiyoomi turn away and walk towards the doors.

Without much thought, Atsumu is quick on his heels when Kiyoomi exits the community centre. “Hey!”

He turns around and his shoulders only seem to raise more as Atsumu skids to a halt in front of him. “You know, we’re gonna be heading your way too,” he says, slightly breathless as he puts his hands on his hips. “Samu won’t be too long.”

Another look up and down. “I wouldn’t have pegged you to be the priest’s son,” says Kiyoomi, a slight intrigue betraying his stoicism. “Aren’t you supposed to be somewhat controlled?”

Atsumu puts his hands up in surrender. “Hey, whatever gets the kids engaged,” he replies. “Perhaps you would prefer to do some colouring in of all of Noah’s animals – it’ll get that stick out of your ass.”

Kiyoomi raises his eyebrows and his mouth twitches – a smile? No, it’s a grimace. “You can’t sing, can you? Because you act like the bratty kid that never made it to be a choirboy.”

Atsumu’s splutter is cut off by a slap on his back; Osamu is by his side, shooting a look between the two. “Tsumu, you can’t bully people into being your friend. Nor can you leave me and Father Sato to clear up all on our own.”

Atsumu’s ready to make a case that he definitely can and absolutely will, but Kiyoomi has already started walking away.

He’s in a foul mood the entire time they’re stacking chairs and closing curtains. Osamu mocks him for the fact that Kiyoomi got it right that Atsumu had been as good as banned from ever singing in the church choir, and it makes Atsumu stew even more.

At each youth group session, Atsumu vows to be even more enthusiastic than the last. At each session, Kiyoomi flashes him at least one glare.

*

They seem to reach an impasse.

Each slightly emotive reaction Atsumu draws from Kiyoomi is a victory. Each time Kiyoomi leaves him stunned by an insult is a loss. Atsumu doesn’t even really know what he’s trying to prove, but he’s doesn’t want to stop; the attention is new and exciting.

But when Atsumu’s walking back to his home after running an errand and he sees a crop of black curls hunched over on a bench in the nearby park, the desire to win dissipates when he approaches and sees the misery twisting Kiyoomi’s features.

His original plan vanishes from his mind as he takes a seat next to him. “You alright?”

Kiyoomi barely glances in his direction, fingers tightening around his upper arms. “Been better.”

A genuine response – that’s something else new.

There are many things that Atsumu is good at, talking being one of them, but this time he chooses not to speak. He leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he clasps his hands together. The sun is beginning to set and the pinks and oranges and red blend together beautifully. Both of the teenagers’ gazes flit up to watch the colours slowly change, night approaching as it always does.

The time makes Atsumu’s feet itch, but Kiyoomi opens his mouth, silencing any excuse he had been preparing.

 “How are you able to trust God?”

Atsumu blinks. “Huh?”

Kiyoomi presses his lips together, and although the light has mostly gone, Atsumu swears he can see his cheeks darken slightly. “What if you’re following every step to the letter – doing everything right that’s in your power – and yet, things still fall short? How can I trust God and His plan if it seems like His plan is the path leading me to…” He shuts his mouth again, tightly.

It’s a quiet plea.

Atsumu turns the questions over in his mind, prolonging a silence that is filled with Kiyoomi’s quickened breaths. The pious preachy lines spring up automatically, but for once, Atsumu doesn’t reach for it. He dares to glance to the boy next to him and for a moment he’s rendered speechless looking at Kiyoomi’s unhappy expression.

 “It’s all about faith,” Atsumu finally manages to say, the words clunky in his mouth. “We have faith in Him, even though we can’t see Him. So, when things aren’t going well, we put our faith on the promise that God is leading us in the right direction, even if it takes us on some strange deviations. But…”

He trails off because Kiyoomi is now looking at him and Atsumu is suddenly staring into the abyss. He’s lost, locked in on the softness that he’s never been close enough to notice before, and Kiyoomi is staring straight back.

In the dark, he’s a wonderous sight.

 “But you have to have faith in yourself,” continues Atsumu, voice softer, and he lets himself smile. “Because you’re still trying, aren’t you? Chips will fall where they may, but you can’t knock yourself for trying.”

Kiyoomi stares at him for a long time, longer than he’s done before. He blinks slowly and swallows.

 “You aren’t the one planning on taking over from your father, are you?”

Atsumu blinks – and then he laughs, leaning forward and touching his forehead to his hands. “Oh, he picked Samu from the moment we were able to talk.”

The corner of Kiyoomi’s mouth twitches and he lets out a deep breath. “Figures.”

They stay there a little longer, talking and teasing back and forth. Mother berates him when Atsumu eventually walks through the front door, but he barely hears her.

*

Roping Kiyoomi into stupid conversations after youth group isn’t too harmful, even though Kiyoomi finds every opportunity to bolt when Atsumu is distracted. Walking home with Kiyoomi after school isn’t too awful, even though Kiyoomi tends to avoid it like the plague. Being friends with Kiyoomi isn’t too terrible, even though Kiyoomi wouldn’t dare even call them that.

But when Atsumu gets on his knees to begin his nightly prayer and Kiyoomi’s face appears in his mind to interrupt the flow, Atsumu’s eyes snap open, pausing before starting over.

When Atsumu dreams and Kiyoomi appears with a smile that he’s never seen, Atsumu wakes with a start, sweat accumulating under his arms.

When Atsumu sees Kiyoomi and his heart rate picks up without his permission, Atsumu frowns, earning a frown back if Kiyoomi catches him.

But it’s not until he’s taking deep breaths, willing his morning erection away, when the thought of Kiyoomi saying his name for the first time makes it strain against his underwear, does Atsumu have the horrible realisation that there may be a problem.

*

When Atsumu enters the church, he almost has a heart attack when he sees Kiyoomi at in the front row, staring at the stained glass.

He’s not praying – not obviously, anyway – and doesn’t turn when the heavy wooden door closes. With caution, Atsumu walks down the aisle and comes to a stop by Kiyoomi’s side, glancing down at him.

 “Trying to find some reprieve?”

Kiyoomi doesn’t take his eyes off the crucified Son and the weeping Mary Magdalene. “I suppose.”

 “Come with me, then.”

Surprisingly, Kiyoomi follows him without question, traipsing up stone steps and around the inner workings of the bell tower until they reach the top. The open spring air hits their faces as the view of their town stretches out in front of them, the sun only just peeking out from behind the clouds. He watches as Atsumu sits himself down on a stone ledge near one of the glassless windows, the sparse rays only just touching his poorly bleached hair.

Atsumu pats the ledge. Kiyoomi sits, leaving two metres between them.

 “It’s nicer up here,” Atsumu says, looking back out to the sky. “People are always coming and going downstairs, so it’s harder to think. Plus, the choir sound lovely from here too.”

Kiyoomi brings his knees to his chest, his long legs awkwardly bent. “I can imagine,” he replies, looking down to his feet. “This place is nicer than my last church.”

Atsumu glances his way quickly. “Oh yeah? What was it like?”

He’s being careful – Kiyoomi doesn’t talk a lot about his life before now, and neither do his parents. And, Atsumu’s learned, he doesn’t take well to personal questions. Like with a skittish animal, Atsumu tries his hand at patience, letting Kiyoomi approach him, but sometimes he slips.

Today, however, it doesn’t seem to matter too much.

 “Bigger – very white. It was always clean, which was good, but its ceiling was just a bit too high. And everyone knew everything somehow, despite there being so many of us. It was unnerving.” Kiyoomi swallows. “Also the candleholders were always clogged up with dried wax, and that drove me crazy – like, that’s the one thing that isn’t so hard to maintain.”

A quiet chuckle rumbles in Atsumu’s throat. “Of course you would concern yourself about something so inane, Omi.”

The glare that comes his way only makes him laugh louder, mostly because it looks like Kiyoomi is trying to convince himself that he hates the nickname rather than him convincing Atsumu to stop calling him it. “It’s the first thing they get the youngest alter boys to worry about after the service is over,” he decides to say.

 “Oo, now that’s some hard trauma right there – you would command with such an iron fist as a priest?”

 “It’s basic housekeeping.”

 “Oh Omi, I almost don’t want to tell you how often this place gets a deep clean.”

Kiyoomi stiffens. “How – you know what, I’m coming around to the idea that ignorance is bliss.”

 “Really truly. Trust me, you don’t want to know some of the things that have gone down in these hallowed halls.”

 “That doesn’t help me at all.”

 “That’s the kind of thing that’s supposed to get you all curious and want to know the gossip.”

 “I’ve had my fill.”

There’s a finality to that. Atsumu changes tack. “Don’t you go crazy without any sisters or brothers around anymore?”

He gets another glowering look and Atsumu remembers that Kiyoomi’s never directly told him that he has siblings – another case of everyone in a community like this knowing everything. “Not really – they were already teenagers when I was born, and my sister left home when I was eight, so it being just me is all I really know.”

 “Man. I couldn’t imagine not having Samu around.”

 “Of course you couldn’t, he’s your twin – completely different thing.” Kiyoomi rests his chin on his arm, looking back out of the tower. “What’s it like?” he asks, voice slightly muffled.

Atsumu smiles, fondness blossoming in his chest. “He’s my best friend,” he says simply. “Having someone who knows how to push all your buttons, but also knows you better than you know yourself without trying…I’d take a bullet for him any day, and we’d probably end up fighting over who saved who first.”

 “And you’ll always love him, no matter what?”

It would be a stupid question if Kiyoomi didn’t sound so sad. Atsumu looks to him, and though he’s still looking away, he’s tensed up, as if he’s holding in a breath until he hears the answer.

With a gentleness that pulls at Atsumu’s core, he says: “until my last breath and the eternity after that.”

Kiyoomi sniffs and pulls his arms tighter around his knees. Atsumu notices he’s shivering.

 “Cold?”

He huffs. “I’m always cold.”

Atsumu pauses, but he is already moving to stand, his shoulders shrugging off his jacket, his hands draping it over Kiyoomi as Kiyoomi twitches at the brief contact, eyes startled. Atsumu draws himself away quickly, going back to sit and stare out to the space outside the church, to stare at anything other than the person next to him.

He gets his jacket back after an hour when Kiyoomi gets up and leaves, placing it haphazardly on Atsumu’s lap before taking off back down the stairs with a short farewell. Atsumu puts it back on and slowly brings the collar to his nose, inhaling carefully.

The faintest smell of fabric softener fills his senses and Atsumu feels something crawling up the back of his neck as his eyes flutter shut.

*

Little things keep happening and Atsumu continues to convince himself that it’s nothing. Stolen glances, casual banter, quips and jokes, gentle advice – it’s all a part of a normal friendship, no different from the ones Atsumu already maintains.

But it is different.

 “I’m telling you, Omi, tap water isn’t going to poison you.”

 “That’s what you think, but you’re living proof that it will.”

 “Do you just live to try and hurt me?”

 “It’s becoming a decent pass time – nothing happens here.”

 “Nothing happens to you because you don’t do anything. What’s the great plan, Omi – university?”

 “Like I’d have a choice. But yes – Mother and Father will expect me to do medicine.”

 “And that’s what you want too?”

 “…”

 “I’ll probably go to university too – local one. Theology.”

 “And is that what you want?”

 “…It’s what I know best.”

 “But you’re not going to be your father.”

 “Goodness, Omi, that’s something strong right there. Maybe not in the succession sense, but I won’t be straying away from priesthood.”

 “May God have mercy on those poor souls.”

 “I’ll have you know that my services will knock everyone’s socks off!”

 “Not in the way you intend.”

 “Omi, do you have any friends? Any at all? Because they have to be the most patient people in the entire world.”

 “…”

 “…Sorry –”

 “My cousin.”

 “Hm?”

 “My cousin – my mother’s nephew. He’s my friend. He’s called Motoya.”

 “Ah.”

 “He kind of forced his way in there, probably by my parent’s request. But he’s a lot of fun. Really friendly – too friendly. Like you’d think it’s fake if it weren’t for how genuine he is.”

 “You sure he’s your cousin?”

 “It’s a surprise to me too. He’s probably the closest thing to an Osamu I have.”

 “…I’m glad, Omi. You keep in touch?”

 “…”

 “…”

 “…I’ve got to go.”

 “Omi, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to –”

 “You didn’t do anything, Atsumu. It’s fine.”

 “…Still. I’m sorry. You’ve got me, you know.”

 “…”

 “…”

 “…I guess I do.”

 “…”

 “…”

 “Gotcha to emote.”

 “Please stop saying that.”

 “What’s the matter, Omi-Omi, too –”

There’s never a right time to trip over one’s feet and hit the concrete, and Atsumu is mad that of all people, he had to do it in front of Kiyoomi.

But he turns and sees Kiyoomi cover his mouth because a smile is bubbling behind his fingers, which turns into a full blown laugh when Atsumu looks up at him with embarrassment and betrayal in his eyes, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. That uncontrolled grin, that rumbling chuckle, that slender hand that reaches out and pulls Atsumu up, touching him in a way that Atsumu hasn’t seen him touch anything or anyone before. Kiyoomi lets go as quickly as he grabs on, but it’s been done and Atsumu understands it’s not nothing.

And from the way Kiyoomi looks at his hand like he’s checking for burns, it’s not nothing for him either.

*

Things keep escaping Atsumu and he’s losing control.

And at the centre of it all is Kiyoomi Sakusa.

Every waking moment is consumed by thoughts of him and his hair and his hands and his face, of his voice and eyes and mouth. Every slight smile, every bit of warmth seeps into Atsumu’s mind and sticks there, unable to be washed away. He must see him, must catch his eye, must talk to him because if he doesn’t then Kiyoomi might vanish and go somewhere where Atsumu can’t find him.

Terror rules him now, a terror that is difficult to shake. The fear that one day his father will stop short and open his eyes, the day one of his friends pull back and look upon him with disgust, the day he will look in the mirror and have to confront the horrifying reality of the situation.

He tries hard to divert his attention elsewhere, but everyone is blurry, no matter how hard he tries to see them.

Kiyoomi is clear, sharp, and devastating and Atsumu cannot look away

But Atsumu starts to worry because Osamu notices.

His brother’s eyes follow him at every turn: during mealtimes, at school, in their shared bedroom. When he watches Atsumu talk to Kiyoomi, his expression becomes unreadable, which frightens Atsumu because that’s never happened before.

So, Atsumu tries to run into Kiyoomi less if he can help it, hoping that it will make Osamu’s face change and eyes go back to the way they were. Kiyoomi doesn’t seem to notice, but Atsumu does because it starts to physically pain him if he hasn’t spoken to Kiyoomi properly after several days. Then weeks start passing, and Atsumu is afraid to look at Kiyoomi because if he does, something terrible might happen, so, he doesn’t.  

Osamu stays the same; Atsumu continues to worry.

They don’t talk about it, which is another unusual thing because Atsumu trusts Osamu with absolutely everything under the sun – except his problem. Because if he were to confide in him about it, about how Kiyoomi makes his mouth go dry and his head spin, Osamu most likely wouldn’t understand.

Or he’d understand all too well.

So, they don’t talk. Atsumu grows tense at the shoulders when he catches Osamu’s eye. Osamu continues to look at him blankly.

Things are beginning to run away from him.

Atsumu so desperately wants to run.

*

 “You’re avoiding me.”

The quiet but steely accusation lashes from Kiyoomi. Atsumu keeps his eyes forward in spite of his heart thundering in his chest. He’s never been approached at school by Kiyoomi before – other students mill around them as the pair come to a standstill in the corridor.

Atsumu feels a set of eyes burning a hole in the back of his neck. “What’s your problem, Atsumu?” It’s quieter, more strained.

Atsumu sighs and turns around slowly, keeping his eyes down. “You.”

A whisper. It’s so empty that he’s convinced Kiyoomi doesn’t hear it over the bustle. He watches the ground.

 “…What?”

 “It’s you.” His voice is clearer but dangerously close to breaking. He dares to look up.

Kiyoomi jaw is clenched; all of his body is rigid, except for his eyes. Those dark pits that threaten to drown Atsumu, to pull him under until his breathing stops.

 “Why?”

A cold frenzy twists in Atsumu’s stomach.

As if he doesn’t know. As if he doesn’t feel it too.

 “Omi, I…I can’t do this. Not here, not now.” He looks around, watching out for prying eyes. “See you around.”

As Atsumu paces away, he doesn’t know when that will be.

He doesn’t turn to see Kiyoomi stuck in the same spot, watching him go.

Watching him run.

*

He misses him.

Fuck, he misses him.

Another month passes, and Atsumu misses him every day.

*

If Osamu wakes up to Atsumu climbing out of the window, he doesn’t indicate that he has.

Half four in the morning is a comfortable time right now as Atsumu walks and walks, hands in pockets and eyes trained to the sky. It’s still dark but the summer sun will start pushing away the darkness in the next hour or so. He thinks of doing laps around the neighbourhood, whittling away his anxieties, but he goes where he always defaults to when his head won’t be quiet.

He slips through the side door – its broken lock still isn’t fixed – and Atsumu enters the church hall, taking in a deep breath. The smell of old wood and dust fills his nose, and a mixture of emotions run through him.

He gets to his knees at the alter and rests his forehead on his forearms.

Usually when Atsumu prays, he can feel that Something, and although he’s been straying away, he still hopes to feel that Something.

But as he opens his mind to His presence, Atsumu’s heart stops when he feels nothing.

His eyes fly open and he looks up to the stained glass that is barely visible.

The Son stares back at him, hard eyes indifferent.

Tears begin to gather in the corner of his eyes as Atsumu wills for the Something, begs for the Something. But it doesn’t come.

And Atsumu realises that he’s all alone.

And it’s all his fault.

Panic seizes him and wraps around his throat like barbed wire. Atsumu feels like he’s choking as he stumbles back, scrambling on his hands as he tries to run away from the alter, tripping and stumbling as he makes his way up the bell tower stairs. He slips and smacks his chin on the top step, and whilst it doesn’t hurt as much as he thought it would, Atsumu swears and lets out a dry sob, cupping his chin as he reaches the open aperture and leans over it, gasping and heaving.

The sky is a bit lighter now. A spot of blood drips onto the ledge.

“Atsumu?”

All of his panic sucks out of him immediately as Atsumu whips his whole body around, rapid breathing stoppered by a silent scream.

A figure is curled up in the corner, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

It’s Kiyoomi, because of course it is.

Atsumu considers during his second of shock that he’s receiving some kind of divine punishment.

 “What the fuck are you doing?” he hisses, the sound coming out like a whistle. “Fucking hell, Omi.”

 “I could ask you the same.” Kiyoomi stands slowly, wobbling as he straightens his legs. “You gave me a heart attack.”

 “Hey, this is my territory,” Atsumu says, wiping his chin as some hot liquid comes away on his hand. “How did you even get in?”

 “Scaled the tower,” he replies without missing a beat, approaching Atsumu. He can barely see, but the flash from Kiyoomi’s eyes makes him flinch. “You’re bleeding.”

 “Only a little.” He wipes again, but the slow flow doesn’t seem to be heeding. “Okay, maybe a lot.”

 “Sit down.”

Kiyoomi leads Atsumu to sit in his corner, having Atsumu face the east for the most light they can get. He flicks his finger at Atsumu; he rolls his eyes and tilts his head up, hand hovering just beneath his chin. Though half-closed eyes, he watches Kiyoomi inspect his injury, eyebrows knitted together.

It’s been a while since he’s seen him so up close, and Atsumu’s failing to get his breathing back to normal. Kiyoomi’s hair is messier than usual, and he can just about make out the dark shadows under his eyes. He doesn’t look well.

He wonders if he looks the same.

Kiyoomi goes to fish in his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief – it’s neatly folded and white. Atsumu grits his teeth when Kiyoomi starts to blot him with it, touch very gentle against his skin. “It’s not too nasty,” Kiyoomi murmurs. “Probably better if we had some kind of dressing through.”

 “Yeah, let me just grab my mini first-aid kit out of my pocket,” Atsumu says, his sarcasm interrupted by a grunt of pain. Kiyoomi freezes and then resumes, being more careful. “You’re ruining that all for me?”

It’s the nerves – seeing Kiyoomi, speaking to him again, having him so close – it makes Atsumu clench up with embarrassment. Kiyoomi’s expression doesn’t really change, still focused on the task at hand.

 “I’m not very happy about it,” he says. “You’ll have to buy me a new one.”

 “I’ll buy you twenty.”

There he goes again.

Kiyoomi’s flicker up to meet Atsumu’s and they look guarded. He doesn’t say anything, occupying himself as he hold the cloth against the wound. Atsumu thinks he could probably hold it there himself, but that part of him doesn’t speak up, letting their bodies still as Kiyoomi looks at his chin and Atsumu looks at Kiyoomi.

Minutes pass before Atsumu speaks again. “Why are you here?”

Kiyoomi lets a little breath out of his nose. “I needed to think – I ended up here. Was safer than sitting on a random street corner.”

 “Ha.” Atsumi tries not to move. “Me too.”

 “Are you annoyed?”

 “About what?”

He shrugs, but Atsumu sees Kiyoomi swallow. “That I came here,” he clarifies. “That I came to your space.”

Atsumu closes his eyes – he needs a break from looking. “Nah,” he responds. “It’s not like you expected me to be here.”

 “I didn’t.”

Atsumu’s sure that there’s truth to that, but from Kiyoomi’s tone, he doesn’t sound too sorry about the coincidence. Which makes Atsumu feel guilty, because he’s not sorry either and he has a lot more to be sorry about.

Unfortunately, the handkerchief gets taken away from his face. Atsumu looks at the splattered spots on it as Kiyoomi peers at his chin. “It looks like it’s stopped,” he murmurs, folding the fabric in half and holding it out to Atsumu. “Just in case.”

He takes it gingerly, their fingers just missing each other. “Thanks, Omi.”

The nickname is so nice to say, stupidly cutesy in a way that doesn’t really suit the person it’s being said to, but Kiyoomi doesn’t scowl when he hears it – if anything, he seems to relax. “Are you feeling alright?” he asks. “Didn’t hurt your knees or hands, did you?”

Atsumu’s already shaking his head, even though his knees do hurt a bit, because the question is only a reminder from why he had been running in the first place. “’M fine.”

In the dark, it feels easier to lie, but he’s forgotten how close Kiyoomi is to him.

But nothing else is said just yet, so they just sit there, looking but not quite looking. Atsumu lightly grazes his knuckles over his chin, checking the painful area – Kiyoomi hisses at him to stop, and he does, thankful that no fresh blood traces on his skin.

The sky lightens gradually and Atsumu can see a bit more. Kiyoomi’s eyes are bloodshot, and the shadows underneath them are purple. His hair falls – or flops – chaotically over his forehead, obstructing his eyebrows. His collarbones poke out from the collar of his t-shirt and his delicate wrists fold over each other on his lap. He’s wearing shorts, the summer air warm enough, even this early. He has some moles scattered around his knees too.

Despite the emptiness, despite the silence from before, despite the time Atsumu has kept him at arm’s length, he’s somewhat at ease. Even if it’s just for now, even if it’s just for a little while when the world is still asleep and isn’t a priority.

Kiyoomi is here – even if it won’t be for long.

Atsumu inhales and he turns his head to look at the bell. “I’m sorry.”

A short breath. “What?”

He screws his eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” he repeats, quieter than before. “I’ve been – I pushed you away and I didn’t tell you why, and I made it your problem when it was just supposed to be mine. I probably really pissed you off, and it’s fair if you’re still angry with me. I just – I don’t want you to think you actually did something wrong, because you didn’t. I’m – I’m so sorry, Kiyoomi.”

How a name can be so intimate frightens Atsumu.

He doesn’t look, but he can hear Kiyoomi’s breathing, hears him shift a little. They’re sitting close enough that their knees almost touch.

 “Thank you.” The timbre of Kiyoomi’s voice is low, resonating through his chest. “And I’m –”

 “Don’t you dare –”

 “I’m sorry all the same,” Kiyoomi pushes on. “That you felt you had to.”

Atsumu scratches the back of his neck, keeping his eyes closed as he wills his breathing to go back to some semblance of normal. Another moment of quiet passes.

 “…Am I allowed to know what’s wrong, then?”

It’s just a question, just a little question, but it’s the very one Atsumu is not at all prepared to answer. He shakes his head ever so slightly.

Kiyoomi doesn’t give up that easily. “If you’re going to go back to being childish and pretending that you never wanted to know me, then I’m all for it. But I think I deserve to know why you’re doing it. You owe me that.”

He does, but he really doesn’t want to – Atsumu looks back to Kiyoomi to say as much, but those damned eyes are already staring at him, probing him, begging him.

And Atsumu can only beg back, his features silently screaming as he locks onto Kiyoomi’s pale face.

Don’t you know? Can’t you see?

Don’t you feel it too?

Don’t you understand that I can’t be near you?

Don’t you understand why?

Don’t you understand that if I keep you here with me, that I’ll be admitting that I’m…

Kiyoomi’s face is so open, so vulnerable; his mouth is slightly agape, his lips are smooth, but his eyes…

His eyes reflect all that’s threatening to burst from Atsumu’s heart, and he can’t stand it.

Atsumu shifts and his right knee touches Kiyoomi’s left. Kiyoomi shudders.

It’s a bad idea, the worst idea. The silence is deafening, the absence of Something so prevalent that it echoes around Atsumu’s pounding head. He can go, he should go, he needs to –

A hand moves forward at a sluggish pace because Atsumu cannot contain the tremors as his fingers accidently graze against Kiyoomi’s bare thigh, reaching for something he shouldn’t want but so desperately needs. Closer, closer, until they knock against one of Kiyoomi’s wrists. The other flinches but doesn’t pull away.

He’s cold, but it burns.

Slowly, so slowly it hurts, Atsumu’s fingers slide over the top of his hand, staring at the veins and tendons, stroking the impossibly soft skin that he’s so longed to touch, tracing over his knuckles one by one. His index finger hooks around Kiyoomi’s thumb, and that’s when Kiyoomi moves his own fingers, carefully interlocking them together.

The way Kiyoomi’s palm feels against his own, the way their fingers lace together like puzzle pieces slotting into place, the gentleness they both use as they handle each other is too overwhelming, and they’re just holding hands.

But Atsumu has held hands with his family, with Osamu; he’s held hands with girls that made his heart flutter when he was a kid; but this…

This is another Something.

And it overpowers the Something that was missing before.

Atsumu can’t look away from their hands, entranced by it, so he lets out a gasp when Kiyoomi’s other hand touches his elbow, trembling as he cups it. He’s wearing a t-shirt too, so they’re skin-to-skin, and Atsumu almost chokes when Kiyoomi’s fingers splay, pressure feather-light as they move up his arms, trailing along his bicep.

He’s trying so hard not to sound so pathetic but Atsumu’s panting as his free hand comes to rest over Kiyoomi’s heart, feeling how it thrums under his touch, as if it’s ready to jump out of his chest and make a home in his palm. Kiyoomi’s not that much better, his own breaths getting away from him as his nails digs into Atsumu’s arm.

Their faces are getting closer; Atsumu bites his bottom lip as he lets his upper body shift to mirror Kiyoomi’s. He fists the front of Kiyoomi’s shirt when their foreheads bump together, unable to look away from him as their noses touch.

Their breathing is quiet and rapid, their stares are hungry and desperate. It’s getting too real, too heavy, but Atsumu can’t stop, can’t think about anything but Kiyoomi. His eyes flicker down to his lips and Kiyoomi does the same.

A whine travels up his throat and Atsumu swallows. “Kiyoomi,” he whispers, and it’s another plea, another prayer. “Kiyoomi, I…it’s this…I couldn’t…”

 “I know, I know.” Kiyoomi exhales shakily, screwing his eyes shut. “I didn’t want…I didn’t mean to…but you – damn it – I can’t not see you, Atsumu…I can’t breathe without…”

He’s not ready – he’ll never be ready – but Atsumu is so tired of running away. He licks his lips, sticking to his tongue for a second. Kiyoomi watches him before looking back into his eyes.

The morning sky allows Atsumu to see how wide Kiyoomi’s pupils are, how pink his cheeks have become.

He sees how beautiful Kiyoomi Sakusa is, even though he’s known that for a long time now.

There’s a pause, a moment, a silent question, a quiet understanding that there’s time for one of them to back away. But neither will.

The gap closes, and their lips are touching.

It’s a gentle brush at first, the contact delicate and fearful, but then Kiyoomi adds a little pressure pressing his to Atsumu’s bottom lip.

They’re kissing.

And everything in Atsumu explodes.

Because it doesn’t matter that this is his first kiss, that his first kiss is happening in a bell tower at five in the morning.

It doesn’t even matter that his first kiss is with a boy.

What matters is that it’s with Kiyoomi.

He’s tugging on his shirt. He’s squeezing his fingers. He’s kissing him back.

And then Kiyoomi lets out a long sigh as he cradles the left side of Atsumu’s face, trembling thumb stroking over his cheek. They part for a second, the distance only millimetres but still too far, and Atsumu’s eyelids flutter, looking at the boy he…

The boy he likes.

  “Kiyoomi.”

It’s a whispered declaration, the only one he can muster for now.

It’s enough.

Their hands untangle and Kiyoomi comes to holds the other side of Atsumu’s head, moving his lips with more urgency. Atsumu lifts his to rest next to his other, fingers splaying at the base of Kiyoomi’s neck. His mouth moves with inexperience, but it doesn’t matter because Kiyoomi is leading them carefully, cupping his cheeks so tenderly, like he’s holding something fragile and one wrong move will cause him to shatter – and he’s right to, because Atsumu probably will.

Neither of them want to come up for air and neither of them want to let go. Atsumu’s hands wander up past Kiyoomi’s shoulders and come to rest on the back of his neck, desperate to get closer to him. Kiyoomi grips onto his wrists, letting out soft breaths every so often as their holds on one another get more eager.

Need and desire and restraint pull Atsumu in different directions and he’s at a bit of a loss. He shifts slightly, leaning his upper body closer to Kiyoomi so he can get some instruction, some indication as to what to do next. Thankfully, Kiyoomi is a little braver than he is because he grabs onto his waist and gently pulls, encouraging Atsumu to stand. Confusion turns to comprehension as their mouths separate – Kiyoomi watches him with a mixture of awe and apprehension as Atsumu shuffles his feet, slowly hooking one leg over Kiyoomi’s and then the other, holding his shoulders for balance as he sits himself down in his lap.

The sheer intimacy of their new closeness makes Atsumu start shaking almost violently and he has to hold his breath to stop himself from spiralling. His vision distorts and his ears start to ring.

Cool hands come to cover his cheeks again. Atsumu focuses in on the two dots on pale skin. “You’re okay,” Kiyoomi is whispering, searching his eyes. “You’re okay.”

Atsumu takes another deep breath, shuddering under the touch. “Yeah, yeah.” His fingers furl into the black curls, the softness of the strands bringing him some kind of peace. Watching Kiyoomi’s eyelashes flutter because of the touch helps too. He focuses on their position, even though it scares him, and it gets a little less scary with time.

Kiyoomi’s head starts to dip, though his eyes stay trained on Atsumu’s. When his lips ghost the side of his neck, a breathy moan slips through his teeth. “Is this okay?”

Atsumu nods, tipping his own head further back as his hold tightens on Kiyoomi’s hair.

The feeling of Kiyoomi’s hot mouth placing languid open kisses on his sensitive skin is all-consuming, and when his hands slip down over his chest and stomach to slip around his waist and run up his back under his shirt, Atsumu arches, their bodies melting together as he sighs. He presses a kiss over Kiyoomi’s right eyebrow, top lip touching the pair of moles that he’s fixated on for what feels like years.

They move in tandem, exploring each crevice and surface with care and longing, months of silent yearning now leaking everywhere uncontrollably. It’s all so sensual, so gentle, so loving – everything burns so beautifully as their lips reconnect. When Atsumu touches the tip of his tongue to Kiyoomi’s bottom lip, Kiyoomi welcomes it, and the act makes Atsumu greedy. But sex is so far from the front of his mind – in fact, it’s about as far away as it can be – because right now, nothing has ever felt better than the hold they have on each other.

Sunrays kiss their cheeks and shoulders they finally part, the need for air and a moment of uninterrupted calm overcoming the desire to lose themselves entirely. Atsumu plants several more kisses on Kiyoomi’s cheeks and forehead, the gentlest placed over his eyelids. Kiyoomi accepts before nestling his face against Atsumu’s chest, arms locking around his middle; Atsumu buries his face into his hair.

They stay like that for a while.

*

  “Are you?”

Kiyoomi looks to Atsumu, raising his eyebrow as a request for clarification. They’re sat on the floor now side by side, and Atsumu is tracing his finger up and down Kiyoomi’s arm, connecting each mark he finds. If it tickles Kiyoomi, he doesn’t complain.

 “You know…” Atsumu trails off, both embarrassed and ashamed that the word gets lodged in his throat. “Are you…gay?”

Kiyoomi clenches his teeth and focuses on his lap. “I always felt a way about boys that I wasn’t supposed to,” he says slowly. He flips Atsumu’s hand over so his palm is face up. “Everyone talked about girls and crushes on girls, but it never crossed my mind – it was always boys. I guess it didn’t really become an issue until I hit puberty and things shifted. Suddenly, I knew what it really meant, even though I already knew it was wrong. But I just kept my head down and didn’t say a word about it, because I knew what would happen if I did. But then there was Keiji, my…”

Kiyoomi stops, pressing his lips together. Atsumu gives his hand a gentle squeeze, concern and dread pooling in his stomach. After a deep breath, he continues. “Keiji was another friend of mine – we got along well. And he was just so different to anyone else I met, I couldn’t help but fall for him. And for a stupid moment, I thought he had fallen for me too. So, I kissed him.”

Atsumu takes in a sharp breath and Kiyoomi’s forehead creases. “He kissed me back,” he whispers. “Only for a second, but he did. And then – and then it was all over. He told people I had forced a kiss on him and it got back to my parents. It was either a teaching camp, or we move away from everyone in that town, so…because my parents would rather believe that Keiji is a liar than force me through a different kind of public humiliation, we ended up here.”

 “Omi, that’s awful.” Atsumu puts his head on Kiyoomi’s shoulder. “Would it be really fucked up if I said I’m still glad that I got to meet you, even if it was because of that?”

Kiyoomi snorts. “Yes, it would be – but I’d be a liar if I said I’m not glad to know you either.”

 “Is that why you don’t talk to your cousin anymore?”

 “Yes.” His voice wavers. “My aunt and uncle banned Motoya from seeing me. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Atsumu tightens his grip around Kiyoomi’s hand. “That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you,” he says.

He feels Kiyoomi shrug. “I don’t know if I want to find out.”

Atsumu thinks of Osamu and his insides curdle. “I understand.”

 “What about you?”

 “Hm?”

 “Are you gay?”

Despite all of the contact and kisses and embraces they’ve shared over the past hour, Atsumu still squirms, his face growing hot with discomfort. Because he doesn’t know and isn’t that much closer to a satisfactory or non-scary answer.

 “I’m not sure,” he eventually says. “Honestly, Omi, I just – if I think about that stuff, all I can think about is you. You’re all that comes into my head.”

Kiyoomi’s chin nudges against his forehead. “Really?”

Atsumu’s glad he’s not looking at him. “I guess I just woke up when I met you,” he mumbles.

There’s a silence and Atsumu closes his eyes, trying not to think too hard about what he’s just said. Kiyoomi, however, does enough for the both of them.

 “That’s something too.”

 “…Yeah, but I don’t know what.”

 “You don’t have to.” Kiyoomi puts a finger on his cheek and tilts his head, peering into Atsumu’s eyes, expression soft. “You’ve just got to be you, Atsumu – as long as you’re happy with that, then there’s nothing else to it.”

Atsumu swallows, wetness gathering at the corners of his eyes. “Are you happy?”

The heaviness that overtakes Kiyoomi’s expression gives him his answer.

They hold each other for a bit longer, exchanging whispers and kisses, because once this moment is over, they’re going to be thrust back into a world of uncertainty, a world without that Something.

When Atsumu eventually stands to leave, he brings Kiyoomi’s hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles tenderly. “See you Sunday?”

With tired enamoured eyes, Kiyoomi nods, pulling Atsumu in for one more warm kiss, holding him with a tightness that threatens to suffocate them both.

*

The Sakusas are absent from the next Sunday service.

And the next.

And every single one after that.

#sakuatsu #skts #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #haikyuu #sakuatsu fic

[thetriunepath]

What is The Triune Path?

Welcome, friends and acquaintances, to the Triune Path. This blog shall be an account of my personal beliefs and many religious paths consolidated into one cohesive Path that any can use as a template for their own journey.

What is the purpose of this?

At its core, the Triune Path is a Pagan religious structure which encompasses a threefold, nongendered structure as opposed to the “Divine Masculine/Feminine” dichotomy we so often see. Rather than the Wiccan belief that we must choose one male and one female Deity, the Triune Path deals with three archetypes that most Gods will fit into.

Essentially, we wanted to create something that had the structure of a traditional Pagan path such as Wicca but without any of the exclusion and biological essentialism they usually entail.

How did this come about?

It came from a desire for community, but also from a need to organise my own faith. We have attended many Pagan groups which claim to be non-denominational and open to all faiths, but still uphold the basic wheel of the year, god and goddess structure that most Pagan faiths do. This is designed to be something that any eclectic beliefs can fit into without exclusion.

Is this based on something else?

On top of the general framework of Pagan faiths I’ve observed and partaken in, it is heavily based on my own practices -- that is, Lucifarianism and Pop Culture Paganism. It is an inherently eclectic practice consolidated into a structure.

Where can I find out more?

There will eventually be a Discord for people willing to help build and follow this path, but for now it will be a collection of my studies and ideas kept on this blog.

START READING: The Tenets

#paganism #paganblr #neopaganism #neopagan #witchcraft #religion #triune #tribunal #pop culture paganism #lucifarian #new pagan #getting started

[hungercityhellhound]

I saw on the blog that you are a satanist. So what does that mean in your life? You worship negative evil energy? Where is the good in life if it’s only Satan? I just want to understand. Thanks.

This may get a little wordy and I apologize for that but you are asking about several very intricate topics. I am going to use some very broad descriptions throughout this explanation but keep in mind Satanism isn't one religion/spirituality/practice but a broad term like saying Christian or Pagan that encompasses many belief systems. If you have more questions or want more explanation of some part then feel free to ask.

Firstly, what is Satanism. One thing to keep in mind is Satanism is an umbrella term that encompasses several denominations, for lack of better term but I think that term makes it easier to understand. Devil Worship, the idea of the Devil/Satan as a god is actually a denomination of Christianity. In general, the belief that if God is all forgiving then Satan, as the punisher, is the one a person would need to satisfy/placate/pray to/etc.

Satanism itself, which is not a part of Christianity, has two large sections Theistic and non-theistic Satanism. And Satanism is more a philosophy of life/how to live than a religion, sort of. Theistic Satanism involves deities which can come from any culture or religion. For example, the Temple of Set is a form of Satanism that deifies the Egyptian God Set/Seth/Sutekh. Luciferianism honors rebellious energy. Then you have the other main group which is sort of a catch all for agnostic, atheist, and spiritual/non-religious Satanism. For this group of practices, most see Lucifer as an archetype of finding the individual self, rebellion, knowledge, learning, etc more than an actual God in the way Christianity or other religions believe there is an actual deity. Lucifer is not seen as a negative force (or positive one for that matter in some cases) but a way to evaluate and keep in mind spiritual or philosophical goals. He's a symbol rather than a deity. It's also good to recognize that not all Satanists use Lucifer as symbolic.. they can use Satan or Beelzebub or Baphomet or other symbolic things that express their ideals. For example, the Satanic Temple uses Baphomet in a lot of its symbolism rather than Lucifer or Satan.

There are a lot of philosophies that most Satanic branches/belief hold in common. The concept that individuality is divine or important and what we were put here to find and embrace it. The idea of community and adding to the "wealth" (not necessarily monetary) of community. The idea that we accept darker aspects/emotions and understand that not everyone has to get along but if we don't get along we should remain respectful or walk away. And there are many others that are pretty commonly shared.

One thing to really address here is the comment "Where is the good in life if..." you don't believe in God, which I feel like maybe where you are going or, at least, is where a lot of people do go with this discussion. It is a fallacy that morality or happiness can only be directed by divine. And it gets to that return question.. "If you have to have the threat of a deity or some negative impact on you to be a good person, then are you truly a good person? Are you a better person than someone who doesn't need the threat of a god to be a decent human being? Then the other set, if a god has to provide your happiness then are you truly happy? This is a really heavy philosophical debate that we aren't going to get into here but it is something to consider when asking someone if a god different than yours, or no god at all, makes them a person with no good in their life at all. It is a spiritual and religious bias that I don't think a lot of people are fully aware they carry around with them.

Another thing you will see is that Satanism uses some terms that are associated with Abrahamic religions, such as sin or bible, but this is more for convenience or to understand the place of these things within the belief system rather than any inherent connection to Christianity.

Now, for the personal ways I believe.

I am a Laveyan Satanist (The Church Of Satan) which has a specific set of beliefs. For brevity I suggest reading the 9 Satanic Statements which outline what Satan/Lucifer represents as an archetype. The 11 Satanic Rules of the Earth which are a bit of a basic moral or social guide. And the 9 Satanic Sins which outline what someone should avoid embracing/being. This will give you a good start on some of the ways I conduct myself because of my beliefs. (There is a whole book, several actually, so I can't go into everything but if any of those trigger questions feel free to drop another ask.)

In addition to those basic ideas, I have other beliefs that come out of Satanic teach. The concept that having knowledge but not teaching others is destructive and a waste so I volunteer a lot, teach others what I know, etc because for me that means being a good person. That I present everyone with neutrality and their behavior toward me dictates if that remains the same, improves, or gets worse. The concept that when someone wrongs or hurts you that you are obliged to ask them to stop and if they do not then there are consequences. That you are not obligated to continue to interact with someone who you don't get along with or treats you poorly. Respect when you are in other people's spaces and homes... and that people should respect me in mine. The ideas that others should be able to conduct life as they see fit provided no one else is harmed or victimized or having their freedoms removed. (A good example here is many Satanists believe everyone has their right to religious belief for themselves but are appalled by and would fight against someone using their religion to dictate how someone else believes or lives privately.) The idea that humans can reach a sort of perfection of their individual self and we should always be working toward that better version. One that always shocks people is Levayan Satanism doesn't support heavy use of drugs or alcohol to the point that it rules life (ie addiction) or cripples the mind. The whole idea of "enjoyment not compulsion" and the concept that a Satanist shouldn't poison their body( More about that here). And a lot of other things.

I am also an animist, specifically, I believe that living things and nature have all of the capacity we do, including souls/spirits/or whatever divine/individual energy a human might have. This directs how I interact with the world around me. I guess, in religious terms, you could say I see all of Earth (and the universe for that matter) as sacred and living things as my equal. That doesn't mean I don't eat meat, for example, because with this understanding (and the Satanic principle that man is an animal and part of nature) I know that the natural world is full of life consuming other life. However, it does mean that I do look to minimize the damage I do to the world around me.

Hope this helps you understand.

#religion #spirituality #satanism #aarne speaks

[significantouther]

About classifications such as neutral being used universally as abinary. Etymologically neu means neither, and utrum (tral) means either, grammatically denominating common gender in lexemes.

So I believe it's justified at least to group unaligned with neutral and nonbinary. Neutrois used to mean nonbinary and nonbinary used to be a nongender (negation of binary).

I tend to be generalist about my gender so I believe it's all intertwined.

I also experience an identity that's often classified as simply transfem third gender by minimalists. And there's an overlap in certain cultures that orientation nonconforming people were also grouped with third sexes, just because they deviated from norms and had lexemes to describe such experiences way before homosexual and transgender were coined.

So it's binaristic/dualistic not just genderly but also orientationally. It enforces a currently false rigidity in concepts.

But at the same time I feel the need to describe a neutral aliagender (or a singular/monogender/single/monolithic nonbinariness) that isn't otheringly

Words, specially such that are complex as gender words, are more than their etymology, but "neutrum" is actually the Latin term for neither and it's formed by ne- (not) + utrum (whether, both, either), so basically "not either"

When I came out neutrois was one of the few terms those outside the binary had to describe our genders beyond terms relating to male or female, fem or masc, or terms like bigender, genderfluid, demigender, etc (that describe the how and not the what), but it wasn't synonymous with nonbinary

There was a clear division between androgyne (which encompassed anything in between/a mix/ a combination between male/masc and female/fem) and neutrois (which emcompassed anything unrelated to male/masc and female/fem)

Nonbinary wasn't a thing yet. Terms like genderqueer and intergender (og non-exclusive definition) were used instead

And there's an overlap in certain cultures that orientation nonconforming people were also grouped with third sexes, just because they deviated from norms and had lexemes to describe such experiences way before homosexual and transgender were coined.

Orientation and gender have always been interwined, even in western binary cultures. not queer person is fully inside the binary (although they can be aptobinary), because the binary not just legitimate maleness and femaleness, but specific types that are cis, gender conforming, perisex, allo and peri-hetero. The difference is that while western society still tried to binarise the very same people it excluded, these societies recognised and still recognise queer people as distinct social categories with different roles than pericisallohet men and woman.

(we could also discuss how gender is always cultural and how the universalisation of man and woman are also part of colonialism and binarism and that gender actually shouldn't be translated, but 99% of people aren't ready for that conversation)

Colonialism not only affected gender expressions, but also orientations that diverged from western binary ideas, and "third gender" was an easy way to clasify all these divergent identities, not only to easily study them, but also to easily and legally erase and persecute them.

[fowlerblogs1]

Navigating Seamless Connectivity: Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups

In an era where staying connected is non-negotiable, Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups emerge as a crucial tool for ensuring uninterrupted communication, especially in regions with limited network coverage. This article delves into the realm of Thuraya Airtime, exploring the convenience and flexibility offered by prepaid airtime options.

Understanding Thuraya Airtime:

The foundation of reliable communication lies in understanding Thuraya Airtime. We begin by unraveling the essence of Thuraya's airtime, emphasizing its role in fueling communication through the Thuraya satellite network. Whether for personal or professional use, Thuraya Airtime is the lifeline that keeps users connected.

Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups: A Closer Look:

This section provides an in-depth analysis of Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups, shedding light on the various options available to users. From flexible denominations to tailored packages, users gain insights into how Thuraya ensures that staying connected is not only essential but also customizable according to individual needs.

Top-Up Thuraya Prepaid SIM: A User-Friendly Experience:

Navigating the process of topping up a Thuraya prepaid SIM is made accessible in this segment. We highlight the user-friendly nature of the Top-Up process, ensuring that even individuals unfamiliar with the technicalities can effortlessly recharge their Thuraya phones and maintain seamless connectivity.

Empowering Users: Top Up Your Thuraya Phone:

Empowerment takes center stage as we encourage users to take charge of their communication needs. This section elucidates the benefits of personally managing Thuraya Airtime Top-Ups, emphasizing how users can tailor their top-up frequency and amounts based on their usage patterns and budgetary considerations.

Thuraya Airtime and Prepaid Cards: A Comprehensive Approach:

The synergy between Thuraya Airtime and Prepaid Cards is explored in this segment. Users are introduced to the comprehensive approach Thuraya takes in offering prepaid cards that not only include airtime but also additional features, providing an all-encompassing solution for communication needs.

Optimising Connectivity: OSAT's Role:

The article doesn't just focus on Thuraya's offerings but also delves into the role of OSAT (Orbital Satcom) in optimizing connectivity. Readers gain insights into how OSAT complements Thuraya services, contributing to a robust and reliable communication ecosystem.

Conclusion:

The concluding section reaffirms the significance of Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups in today's fast-paced, interconnected world. It recaps the user-friendly features, customization options, and the empowering nature of Thuraya's communication solutions, leaving readers with a clear understanding of why Thuraya stands out in the realm of satellite communication. In essence, this article serves as a comprehensive guide for individuals seeking to enhance their connectivity through Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups, providing both a broad overview and specific details to ensure readers make informed decisions.

In a world where connectivity is synonymous with productivity and well-being, Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups emerge as a beacon of empowerment. This article has navigated the landscape of Thuraya Airtime, shedding light on its pivotal role in ensuring seamless communication through the Thuraya satellite network. Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups, as explored in these pages, offer users a customizable and user-friendly experience. The flexibility in denominations and tailored packages empowers users to take charge of their communication needs, aligning connectivity with individual preferences and budget considerations.

SOURCE: https://tinyurl.com/mram9nv7

#Thuraya Airtime #Thuraya Prepaid Airtime Top-Ups #Top up Thuraya prepaid SIM #Top Up your Thuraya Phone #Thuraya Airtime and Prepaid Cards #OSAT #Orbital Satcom

[remitanalyst]

What is the Sovereign Gold Bond Scheme by RBI, and How to Invest in It?

Sovereign Gold Bond (SGB) schemes represent a government-backed initiative where gold serves as the underlying asset for these securities. They serve as an attractive alternative to physical gold ownership. Investors are required to make a cash payment at the time of issuance, and upon maturity, they receive the redemption amount in cash. The Reserve Bank of India (RBI) administers the issuance of these bonds on behalf of the government.

Advantages of the Scheme Investors benefit from the protection of the value of the gold they purchase, as they receive the prevailing market price upon redemption or premature redemption. SGBs offer a more secure option compared to storing physical gold, reducing associated risks and expenses. At maturity, investors are assured of receiving the market value of gold along with monthly interest. Importantly, SGBs do not carry the typical complications associated with gold jewelry, such as wastage and making charges.

Eligibility SGBs are open to Indian residents, including individuals, trusts, Hindu Undivided Families (HUFs), universities, and charitable institutions. Individual investors who change their status to Non-Resident Indian (NRI) can continue to hold their SGBs until maturity or redemption.

Scheme Tenure SGBs have an initial 8-year term, with investors having the option to exit in the fifth, sixth, or seventh year.

Joint Holding The RBI permits joint holding of SGBs.

Minimum and Maximum Investment Limits Individuals can invest a minimum of one gram and a maximum of four kilograms. The minimum investment is consistent across all entities, but for HUFs, the maximum limit is four kilograms, and for trusts and similar entities, it is twenty kilograms. In cases of joint ownership, the limit applies only to the primary applicant. The annual investment ceiling encompasses bonds subscribed to during the government's initial issuance and those acquired in the secondary market. Investments made as collateral with banks and other financial institutions are excluded from this limit.

Redemption Amount Upon maturity, Gold Bonds are redeemed in Indian Rupees, with the redemption price based on the average closing price of 999 pure gold over the preceding three business days, as reported by the India Bullion and Jewellers Association Limited. Interest and redemption proceeds are credited to the customer's specified bank account. Investors are notified one month prior to the bond's maturity. Any changes in account details or contact information must be promptly communicated to the bank/SHCIL/Post Office.

Premature Encashment Despite the 8-year term, early withdrawal is possible on coupon payment days starting from the fifth year of issuance. Bonds can also be transferred to another eligible investor. Requests for early redemption should be made to the relevant bank/SHCIL office/Post Office/agent at least thirty days before the coupon payment date. RBI considers early redemption requests only if the investor visits the respective bank or post office at least one day before the coupon payment date. The redeemed funds are deposited into the customer's designated bank account as specified during the initial bond application.

Risks There is a risk of capital loss if the market price of gold declines. However, investors retain ownership of the gold units they have purchased.

Bond Pricing The principal amount of Gold Bonds is denominated in Indian Rupees, determined by the simple average of the closing price of 999 purity gold announced by the India Bullion and Jewelers Association Limited during the last three business days of the week preceding the subscription period.

Tax Implications Interest earned on the bonds is subject to taxation. Capital gains tax on SGB redemption has been waived. Long-term capital gains resulting from bond transfers are eligible for indexation benefits. TDS (Tax Deducted at Source) does not apply to the Bond, but bondholders are responsible for complying with tax regulations.

Application Process Customers can apply online through the websites of scheduled commercial banks, listed below. For online applications with digital payments, the Gold Bond price is discounted by Rs. 50 per gram from the nominal value. Application forms are available at issuing banks, SHCIL offices, designated Post Offices, and through agents. Additionally, they can be downloaded from the RBI's website. Some banks also offer online application services.

In conclusion, the Sovereign Gold Bond scheme represents a secure and low-risk investment opportunity designed to offer investors the prospect of substantial returns. For those seeking financial stability and future investment potential, this scheme should be a consideration.

#SelfImprovement #WorkLifeBalance #Productivity #TimeManagement

[vertical-elevation]

What Are the Qualities of Effective Leaders, and Do You Have Them?

We speak about leadership so often, but what are the qualities that highly effective leaders possess? There is no lack of articles on this subject, and in the 30 years I’ve been in business I’ve seen just about every type of leader there is, and they have run the gamut of having very weak leadership skills to being an exemplary leader. Ineffective leaders consistently have significantly higher turnover in their organizations. Great leaders who ensure all the leaders below them are effective and well trained have low turnover in their organizations. Effective leaders understand the importance of organizational alignment and that it begins at the Board and Executive level.

Look around at the leaders you know. What do you think makes them great leaders? What are the common denominators they possess? What makes them stand out to you? If you ask 100 people what they think leadership means, you will likely get many different answers making this difficult to quantify. However, there will be common denominators that show up. Leaders with a true vision and a high level of integrity will develop talent strategies that support this and will bring success.

So, what makes a great leader? Here are a few common denominators.

Authenticity: When you are honest with yourself and true to others, there is a palpable genuine and realness that others will see in you. This natural way of being takes practice because it’s not normal to let your guard down and be vulnerable. Authenticity takes courage! One benefit is you will form trustworthy relationships and become someone with credibility.

Integrity: When others relate to you as someone they can trust to follow through on what they say, or what they promise, it shows them you have a high regard for your own WORD. In your mind’s eye, you speak the truth and own it and when you mess up, clean it up.

Vision: There is an old quote, “Without a vision, people perish.” Having a clear vision for the future of your company and creating structures to fulfill on this vision along with the alignment of your employees makes for a cohesive environment and a place in which real results get produced.

Empowerment: When you see others’ potential, then share yourself, your influence, your power, and opportunities — you are investing in their lives so they can perform and feel empowered by your support. It’s a win-win.

Empathy: Empathy is about the emotional ability to experience the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. The ability to put yourself in the shoes of another is a gift. It shows you’re human and helps to develop stronger relationships with employees.

Comunication: Open and honest communication is imperative if you’re going to be an effective leader. This encompasses oral, written, and non-verbal communication. Be responsible for making sure that what you have communicated was received. (Did what you said actually get the communication across?)

Being Open: Much like driving a car and not being able to see what’s in your blind spot, we often think we have it all figured out when in fact we don’t know all there is to know and what we don’t know may unlock where we are stuck. This area is about the continuous experience of learning and developing yourself.

Listening: Listening is distinctly different from hearing. Listening is active. Hearing is passive. To retain what is being said to us we need to actively listen. You will know if you are truly listening to another because you will be present and quiet — digesting what is said before you have something to say.

Commitment: This is an important characteristic and truly encompasses all the other common denominators. You can “want” to build and lead a successful organization, but when your actions are aligned with the resolve or commitment then you are a force to be reckoned with even with any obstacles in your way.

Accountability: A great leader sees to it that whatever it is, it gets done. This means setting aside reasons and excuses and being someone who embodies being accountable for a specific result.

I recently read an article that used Jack Welch as an example of what a great leader was. Certainly, Jack Welch had admirable leadership qualities, but he also got rid of the bottom 10% of his organization each year. I’ve always had issues with this. Wouldn’t it be a more effective strategy to look at why certain people fall into that category? Is it because of their managers and leaders? Were they poor hires? Were they not a cultural fit? This is what building a talent-centric organization is all about and though I’m not saying getting rid of some people is a bad idea, I firmly believe it likely would have cost considerably less to discover these things rather than the costs involved in rehiring and firing the following year.

In summary, anyone can be a leader, however, to inspire, empower and be effective with others, such that they become leaders themselves is the result of true leadership.

#leadership #business #career #growth #mindset

[god-whispers]

dec 15

chrislam

what is it? chrislam is a movement, hoped by some to be the answer for the ongoing clash between the west, which is predominantly christian, and the middle east, which is predominantly muslim.  though a form of it reportedly began in nigeria and is not new, it is a new movement in the United states.  several protestant denominations have adopted this effort in the name of “love thy neighbor” and to promote an ecumenical, or unified, reconciliation between christianity and islam.

how does the movement work? chrislam is trying to focus on a connection between the bible and the koran.  in the attempt to blend these two religions, chrislam has itself become a new religion of sorts.  some churches have been joined by others in placing the koran next to the bible in the church pews.  then there is a reading from both text, both being recognized as holy text.

chrislam has grown dramatically and now has infected many hundreds of churches and denominations across america.

what does God say about this? when examining what God says about the merits of chrislam, it is first important to clarify of which god we are speaking.  allah is the god of islam and not the same deity as the God of christianity and judaism.  christianity declares the Son of God, Jesus, to be God incarnate in human form.  in christianity, the deity of Jesus is non-negotiable, for without His deity, Jesus’ death and resurrection would not have been sufficient to be the atoning sacrifice for the sins of the world (1 john 2:2).

islam adamantly rejects the deity of Jesus christ and says allah has no sons (surah 72).  the koran declares the idea of ‘Jesus is God’ is blasphemy.  furthermore, islam denies the death of Jesus Christ on the cross.  islam’s name for Jesus is isa.  the Jesus or isa in the koran is not the same Jesus as in the bible.  islam views isa as a prophet who was appointed by allah to prepare mankind for the coming of mohammad.

matthew 6:24 and luke 16:13 say “no one can serve two masters.”  exodus 20:5 tells us that we are not to bow down, serve, or worship any other god. “for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God...”  James 1:8 also tell us that “a double-minded man will be unstable in all his ways.”

chrislam will be debunked by many while others promote its efforts.  so the question may be “which god will you serve?” Jesus proclaims “I am the way, the truth and the life.  no one comes to the Father except through me” (john 14:6).  this is the foundation and rock of salvation.  those who have jumped on the bandwagon of chrislam have the misguided notion that the church must adapt to a changing society.  this is false; the church was never called to adapt to society, but to adapt to the teachings of Jesus Christ.  we are to love one another with the love of Christ, but not to forsake Him in the process.

1 john 2:22 states, “who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the christ?” 1 john 4:3 says, “and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God.  and this is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.”

the blending of these two religions is not compatible and both christians and muslims should reject it.

we have all sinned and deserve God’s judgment.  God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgment for those who believe in Him.  Jesus, the Creator and eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loves us so much that He died for our sins, taking the punishment that we deserve, was buried, and rose from the dead according to the bible.  if you truly believe and trust this in your heart, receiving Jesus alone as your Savior, declaring, "Jesus is Lord," you will be saved from judgment and spend eternity with God in heaven.  there is no murky water here.  there is no mixing of faiths to make a new world religion.  of that we have been warned.

chrislam - the merging of the two main religions will soon encompass them all and everyone must decide where they stand.  i'm sure each of the dedicated ones are convinced they have the truth.  just be sure.  be very sure.  then defend it to the death.  not the death of others as some would have it.  defend it to your own death.  "knowing that i am appointed for the defense of the gospel" (phil 1:17), i choose Jesus, come what may!  all of us called by His name are appointed to this task.  how well we do it will be recorded in God's book!

[paaxindigenouswitchcraft]

A Non-Pagan’s Guide to Understanding Modern Paganism

Yes, you read that right. No, it’s not devil worship.

Pagan is a very loaded term. And its definition has change a lot over time. It comes from the Latin paganus, which means something like ‘villager’ or ‘rural person.’ Then the term was used by the Church to distinguish people in the countryside of what we call Europe who still practiced non-Christian forms of religion. Then — with colonialism — any non-Abrahamic religious practice was seen as ‘pagan’ or ‘not Christian.’ In more recent times, it came to mean someone who was essentially a hick.

In the last hundred years or so, this definition has evolved again. And today there are very different types of paganism. You could consider forms of worship like Orisha worship or Voodoo or Hinduism or Native American practices or Shinto ‘loosely’ pagan — and I mean ‘loosely.’ The term was, after all, applied to native groups by colonizers. But they also certainly aren’t Christian practices in origin. Furthermore, these groups are often living traditions that go back centuries. I give a nod to these global paganisms from living traditions for their endurance and individual forms of practice. However, I don’t group them with modern paganism, as such.

Modern paganism is a very new spiritual and religious movement.When I say “modern” or “neo” paganism, I generally mean people who have revived a ‘dead tradition,’ necessarily adding some level of modern values and thought to that tradition. This also means it is overwhelmingly Euro-centric. The last non-Christians in Europe were probably the Vikings around 1000AD. In all that time, Hinduism is still going strong. While I would like to find an appropriate term that encompasses all non-Abrahamic forms of religious practice, that is not the purpose of this article.

So then, if we are up to speed, this article is about Neo-paganism practices, that is: non-Christian forms of worship generally stemming from ancient European paganisms. I like to explain these groups, or maybe ‘denominations,’ in terms of a spectrum.

The revival of European paganisms is generally attributed to Gerald Gardner of the UK in the 1940s. He founded what is broadly known as Wicca. This practice was not so much based on our knowledge of how ancient people practiced, as much as it was based on occultism. It was very much tied to witchcraft, i.e. ritualized spells. It also centered around a Goddess deity, and sometimes included a God as well. And once Wicca moved to the US, it became entangled with the green and women’s rights movements.

In the 1970s, the first Reconstructionists came around. These were neo-pagans who felt compelled to look at the historical and archeological record in order to deepen their religious practice. Essentially, they ‘reconstruct’ — as much as possible — what ancient pagans actually did in their worship of many gods.

These are the two ends of the spectrum. One is tied into many other New Age ideas and the other is extremely historically based. While there are a countless number of neo-pagan organizations, as well as loosely defined groups who hold more similar beliefs, they all fall somewhere on that line between New Age and Recon.

Et volia! That’s the basis for what you need to know. Let’s try out some examples. Let’s say you’re talking to a self-described pagan about what is often called “their path.”

Example 1: They say they are Wiccan, and perhaps they specify that they are also a Kitchen Witch. You know Wicca is on the New Age side of the spectrum. You know witchcraft has something to do with spells, so much of their path is done in the kitchen or with common kitchen items. Because they are Wiccan, you also know that they might believe in the Goddess and the God. And you know Wicca generally incorporates feminism and environmentalism. That’s a good start to continue your conversation.

Example 2: They say that are Alexandarian Wicca. You have no idea who the heck that is, but you don’t really have to. Again, like the last example, you know it is more New Age, there is probably one to two deities, and there is some form of ritual spellwork. There is one important thing to know: any Wicca with a name means its from a single person’s tradition, or their take, on Wicca. The two most common forms are Gardnerian Wicca and Alexandarian Wicca. These are less about feminism and environmentalism and more about the occult. These traditionalist Wiccan groups are less to the New Age side of things than their other Wiccan counterparts.

Example 3: They say they are a Druid or a Heathen and that they are polytheist. Since modern paganism is culturally Euro-centric, you at least know these terms related to somewhere in Europe. Druidry generally has to do with the Celtic culture. And Heathen is generally focused on Germanic cultures. And you know they are polytheist, or believe in many gods. So this is somewhat closer to Reconstructionists on the spectrum. However, a group like this might talk a lot more about ‘Personal Gnosis,’ or a personal relationship with multiple gods, than a Recon might.

Example 4: They say they are a Celtic (or Baltic or Grecian) Reconstructionist. You know Recon: that means trying to revive a dead tradition as much as possible. They might throw a bunch of old books and historical names at you in your conversation. Don’t get muddled by the specifics, just try to understand what from those historical sources motivates or influences them. And Reconstructionists’ paths can be very different depending on the culture they work in. Think about the show Vikings and compare that to what you know about the Romans from your high school history.

Example 5: They say they are a member of a UU Church (a Universalist Unitarian Church) and believe nature, perhaps they called it Gaia, is sacred. This is a little tricky because you have to know what UU is. Essentially UU’s believe in some form of Higher Power, and that, really, all religions are a way to that Higher Power. It’s a very open-minded community that is based more on good values than a specific belief system. The second thing was that nature was sacred. This could mean that the Higher Power, for this pagan, is nature. They are describing a fairly New Age perspective on both nature and religion. After all, the UU Church was established in the 1900s, and its view of religion is fairly modern.

Hopefully you feel better now about how to think about modern paganism and some of the definitions and differences between modern pagan religions or paths. There are a lot of terms out there, and you can’t know them all. So I suggest you be as polite as you can and ask as many questions as you can think of. If you keep in mind the New Age to Recon spectrum, it will help you find where this specific pagan is, and the types of things they might believe.

#pagan #witch #indigenous witch #newage #traditional witchcraft #green witch #magick #spells #witchcraft #astrology #kitchen witch #spirit work #indigenous #earth mother #motherearth #religion #understanding #history #celt #celtic #scottish #irish #Norwegian #english #french #mixed girls #paax #healer

[rw7771]

Monotheism is the belief in the existence of one deity, or in the oneness or uniqueness of God. It is a type of Theism, and is usually contrasted with Polytheism (the belief in multiple gods) and Atheism ( the absence of any belief in gods). The Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity and Islam), as well as Plato's concept of God, all affirm monotheism, and this is the usual conception debated within Western Philosophy of Religion.

The word "monotheism" is derived from the Greek ("monos" meaning "one" and "theos" meaning "god"), and the English term was first used by the English philosopher Henry More (1614 - 1687).

History of Monotheism

The earliest monotheistic religions can be traced back to the Aten cult in ancient Egypt, the Nasadiya Sukta from the Vedic period of India, and Ahura Mazda, the one uncreated Creator of Zoroastrianism. There are also monotheistic denominations within Hinduism, including Vedanta, Vaishnavism, Shaivism, Shaktism, and Smartism.

The Torah (or Hebrew Bible), which was created between the 13th Century and 4th Century B.C., is the source of Judaism, and in turn provided the basis for the Christian and Islamic religions (these three together being known as the Abrahamic faiths). Jews, Christians and Muslims would probably all agree that God is an eternally existent being that exists apart from space and time, who is the creator of the universe, and is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), omnibenevolent (all-good or all-loving) and possibly omnipresent (all-present). The religions, however, differ in the details: Christians, for example, would further affirm that there are three aspects to God (the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit).

More recently, Sikhism is a distinctly monotheistic faith that arose in northern India during the 16th and 17th Centuries, and the Baha'i faith, a religion founded in 19th Century Persia, has as its core teaching the one supernatural being, God, who created all existence.

Philosophical monotheism, and the associated concept of absolute good and evil, emerged in classical Greece, notably with Plato and the subsequent Neo-Platonists (who developed a kind of theistic monism in which the absolute is identified with the divine, either as an impersonal or a personal God).

Types of Monotheism

Exclusive Monotheism:

The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are distinct from it and false. The Abrahamic religions, and the Hindu denomination of Vaishnavism (which regards the worship of anyone other than Vishnu as incorrect) are examples of Exclusive Monotheism.

Inclusive monotheism:

The belief that there is only one deity, and that all other claimed deities are just different names for it. The Hindu denomination of Smartism is an example of Inclusive Monotheism.

Substance Monotheism:

The belief (found in some indigenous African religions) that the many gods are just different forms of a single underlying substance.

Pantheism:

The belief in one God who is equivalent to Nature or the physical universe, or that everything is of an all-encompassing immanent abstract God.

Panentheism:

The belief (also known as Monistic Monotheism), similar to Pantheism, that the physical universe is joined to, or an integral part of, God, but stressing that God is greater than (rather than equivalent to) the universe.

Deism:

A form of monotheism in which it is believed that one God exists, but that this God does not intervene in the world, or interfere with human life and the laws of the universe. It posits a non-interventionist creator who permits the universe to run itself according to natural laws.

Henotheism:

The devotion to a single god while accepting the existence of other gods, and without denying that others can with equal truth worship different gods. It has been called "monotheism in principle and polytheism in fact".

Monolatrism (or Monolatry):

The belief in the existence of many gods, but with the consistent worship of only one deity. Unlike Henotheism, Monolatrism asserts that there is only one god who is worthy of worship, though other gods are known to exist. This is really more Polytheism than Monotheism.

Misotheism:

The belief that a God exists, but is actually evil. The English word was coined by Thomas de Quincey in 1846. Strictly speaking, the term connotes an attitude of hatred towards God, rather than making a statement about His nature.

Dystheism:

The belief that a God exists, but is not wholly good, or possibly even evil (as opposed to eutheism, the belief that God exists and is wholly good). There are various examples of arguable dystheism in the Bible.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

believing in nonexistent things isn't culture stop glorifying it

awe, anon! you don't seem to exist because you don't wanna make yourself known, but i'll glorify you anyways because i'm getting a bit tired of the femboy jesus lecture i'm in right now (the bit gets old)

so like, in order to define something as nonexistent, you have to be omniscient— if you know everything then you know what isn't real and can claim it doesn't exist.

to further illustrate this, let's say i ask someone how many prongs are on a fork. most would say four. if i told someone who has never set a table or used a fork in their life but know the vague concept of forks (and that they have four prongs) that there are three-prong forks, they'll claim they don't exist (never seen it, not educated enough on the topic, incapable of claiming something exists or not since they don't know cutlery)

see what i mean? humans aren't omniscient, so making bold claims that something doesn't exist requires total understanding of the universe (you can't logic your way to a conclusion on where spirits exist or not because logic is human-generated and thus just as susceptible to the limitations of our perspective)

this... is where faith comes from! religions, spiritualities, cults, atheists, scientists, philosophers, etc... we're all just trying to find a way to explain the unexplainable. "proving" something is self-admittedly impossible, which is why we keep collecting data and evidence and keep generating conversations and denominations and more questions while changing the scope of our biased limited lenses into something greater and more encompassing of our universe as it expands and all of this is so incredible!!! humans LOVE learning!!!

i think it's quite beautiful that at the root of each person there's a natural curiosity. we say or do things to see what happens and how people react. we make art and study visuals to see the effects it makes. we analyze media and attempt to rationalize universes outside of our own because maybe we can't explain how OUR world works, but figuring out the nuances of sonic retcons and how they fit together MIGHT be doable, so we talk about our blorbos on this gay fuckin site and ultimately create twin worlds and aus and crossovers and expand our fandom-conversational universe akin to our own reality.

even as i write this, i'm genuinely curious about you anon. not just who you are, but what your backstory is, what forms your beliefs, why you're so passionate about this topic, and how come you don't want to be known? if there's nothing shameful or falsified in your submission, i think you should take pride in it and not hide behind an undetectable barrier or burner account.

you mentioned the glorification of the nonexistent, which begs the question: what do you think exists? there must be an objective correct answer that can FINALLY relieve humanity of the itch it needs to scratch with universals. tell us!!! i'm not being sarcastic, i want to see if you can provide a clear-cut, non-debatable model of reality so that this discussion that many people (including myself) are a part of can finally rest. and also to put a few of my shitty ex-philosophy profs out of a job because they're cunts and i want them out of the field 🥴

TLDR: make yourself known and join the discussion! i never claimed to be omniscient so my ideas are thoughts or prompts for further conversation are just another voice, and yet you've picked up the torch to illuminate the truth and provide us all with some catharsis. speak on, anon! but uh, turn anon off i want to actually engage with you on a personal level because these types of conversation staters are fascinating to me :")

#bsc words #bsc‼️ #bsc moment

[kouhaiofcolor]

Have you noticed many black people say they’re Indian, Native American, or something other than just black? Now that I’m out of high school I don’t see it too much but I remember mostly girls always lying about that. I don’t know if it was internalized racism and shame. I had a friend who lied to the whole class saying she was from Trinidad (she was obsessed with Nicki Minaj) but she’s not and has never been there. I didn’t say anything but I noticed it’s a common thing with young black girls, probably boys too.

Bearing in mind that millions of Black People were smuggled from our original places of ancestral origin, & our closeness to & understanding of our cultures literally brutalized out of us for 400+ years, that accounts a whole lot for why many (but certainly not all) black ppl from the US don't know or cannot properly identify w their roots — even w alot of us knowing for sure that we're 100% black. Also have to consider how white supremacy is a form of profound brainwashing in itself — & that it was violently weaponized to malnourish, break & stunt black pride, black representation, black family structures, down to how black ppl could even identify as Black.

Being black is something that not even just white ppl have made a full on mockery of; nbpoc have had historic involvement in antiblackness & malicious pillaging from Africa as well. So regarding how some black ppl will or have claimed being something else entirely as opposed to black has more to do w how stigmatized being phenotypically black has always been. We can reference things like colorism, featurism, texturism (etc) in that respect as just a few things incredibly relevant to that. Its also important tho to keep in mind that blackness isn't an umbrella term that speaks for or identifies all black culture & ppl as one & the entire same.

Blackness is a diaspora, meaning it encompasses nuances of itself. There are Black ppl from Haiti; Black ppl from Africa; Black ppl from South America; black ppl from Jamaica; Black ppl from the US; Black ppl from the UK; black ppl from Mexico; there are aboriginal black ppl; there are tribes of black ppl that are not exactly the same just bc blackness is a common denominator between them. So we shouldn't assume black ppl claiming to be black from particular regions is untrue or self hating — but I do kind of understand how it can be off-putting in certain contexts to hear black ppl just outright claim to be totally different races as opposed to identifying confidently & w certainty w their blackness.

As for your friend claiming to have been Trinidadian, she could have v well been Afro-Trinidadian but had no way to prove it (cus again, white supremacy is a bitch & fucked up a loooot of cultural awareness for black ppl what w us being sold & quite literally strewn all over the globe having our languages, spiritual belief structures & other cultural exercises being prejudicely decentralized & destroyed by white & non black ppl for centuries). What proof did anybody have that she wasn't Afro-Trinidadian?

White girls will claim being Norwegian-Scottish, German-Icelandic or Romanian-Czechoslovakian instead of just saying they're white w no proof or family relevance to back it up whatsoever — & no one bats an eye or questions that. White ppl have gotten as ballsy as to even claim being Black themselves, speaking of. How many ppl are even reasonably skeptical of that w/o proof? 👀 How normal is it to skepticize their ethnicity when even they've never been to the countries or regions they claim to have heritage from? Literally almost never.

Can't put this on young black girls like being on the receiving end of misogynoir most of our lives isn't a staple in our upbringing & how we're convinced we should identify — or rather shouldnt to even be perceived as acceptable. Black boys do this too. I've been witness to black teenage boys openly tear black girls down ab their natural features, hair & complexion for the sheer sake of it or to flex in front of an audience. And enough grown black men do to & project so much worse ab black women. I've come across adolescent black men & grown men alike who will identify as anything under the sun but black — w 4c hair, dark skin & fully black parents. This is not unique to black girls. This is, however, at its core, a colorism, white supremacy & misogynoir thing that has conditioned black girls to internalize — again, from v young ages well into adulthood — that being fully black & female is stigmagized in a way that they're 1), made to believe they are not & cannot be pretty, & 2), that the last thing they should want to identify as or be open ab being, is fully black.

*TLDR: No, this is not a black girl thing.

#anon #ask #misogynoir #protect black girls #protect black women #antiblackness #blm

[please-dont-pet-the-okapi]

6, 7, 12, 13 (asking that last one specifically about Methodism, I obviously know Christians are the majority in Texas!)

6: Do you have lots of religious paraphernalia?

Mostly books. I have a small library of books about Church history and theology, many of which I haven’t finished reading. My mom gave me a porcelain standing cross that sits on a shelf in my room. I have a framed postcard from the Loretto Chapel and a few cross necklaces. I used to have a cross hanging in my room as well, but it’s hanging in the craft room now.

7: If you could change one thing about your faith community, what would it be?

I’m not sure what I would change about my specific congregation or denomination. Most of the complaints I have are about Protestants in general, and a lot of them are things that are slowly being resolved.

In a very general, all-encompassing Christian sense, we Christians need to be more charitable, both to people within Christian circles and outside Christian circles. So many things boil down to that for me.

12: Were you born into a religious family?

Yep! My parents are both Baptist. Growing up, my parents were both very involved in church, and my sister and I were as well (We went to Sunday school, went to Awana, were in children’s choir, went to VBS, basically we were in church A Lot as kids). 

I also have a variety of denominations in my extended family (A lot of my dad’s family is Catholic, some of my mom’s relatives lean more Charismatic, etc.). 

13: Do you practice the majority faith of the place you live?

The Methodist community in Texas isn’t exactly small (I think we’re the third-largest denomination statewide, not counting non-denominational Christians) but Southern Baptists outnumber all the other Protestant denominations in my town by far, and there’s probably about as many Catholics as Baptists.

#monstrousgourmandizingcats #asks #christianity tag #i was about to edit the main post to say Actually I Wish They Weren't Making A Fourth God's Not Dead Movie #but if christians were more charitable we probably wouldn't have the god's not dead franchise to begin with #or at least it would be a better film series so *shrug*