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jaeyunniesimp · 1 year

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I'M A FOOL TO WANT YOU (s.jy) part one part two

pairing: badboy!jake x fab!reader

tw: angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, family issues, kissing (?), mentions of food (lmk if there’s more!)

wc: 2.5k

a/n: hi loves! i was at a total creative block, but then i was listening to frank sinatra’s song that inspired this title, and a lamp lit up in my brain nshdjsjd hope you enjoy it 🥺 luv y’all / this is not proofread so ignore any typos or grammar mistakes :p

synopsis: you weren’t exactly the most famous person in school, but you weren’t a total loser either. You’d say your presence was unremarkable, which somehow feels worse than being hated. He, on the other side, was the most adored person amongst other students. The popular, don’t-give-a-fuck type of bad boy anyone would fall for, and as much as you’d like to say you’re different, you couldn’t feel otherwise.

“i’m a fool to want you, to want a love that can’t be true, a love that’s there for others too”

You’d fallen for Jake Sim a long time ago, probably in middle school, when he was still a no one, a nerdy kid. That was until high school, where his looks matured and his attitude changed. Now, that both of you are in the same college, he never failed to grab other people’s attention, including yours.

Making new friends was certainly difficult, specially when everyone around you is so different from you. Sunoo was at this point your only true friend, the only person you could count on and rant about your problems without the fear of being judged, not just a fun-to-go-out-with friend.

Today wasn’t exactly the best of days. Your parents were fighting again, so you’d be better off staying at the dorms once more this weekend, your brother was drowning himself in drugs and partying a lot, just to numb the sadness he felt from witnessing your family crumbling apart, which made you worried. Although it pales in comparison, the day was also gloomy, which defeated all your hopes to be optimistic about what was yet to come.

Friday mornings used to be your favorite, now you can’t wait for them to end, knowing everyone probably has nice plans besides you. You’re already dressed in your grey sweatpants and your Metallica shirt (ride the lightning bc it’s the best and you got ✨ taste ✨), turning on the kettle to boil some water for your morning tea, when you feel your phone buzzing.

— Hello? — You answer lazily.

— Y/N! Please tell me you haven’t had breakfast yet! — Your best friend pleaded from the other line.

— I was just boiling some water, but I can turn it off. Why? — You replied, pressing the “off” button.

— I found this really cute café and they have bear shaped donuts, we have to go! It’s right beside campus. I’ll send you the address and we meet there, okay? — He asked, excitedly.

You agreed and hung up the phone, feeling kind of sad that you didn’t comply with his excitement.

Hugging yourself, you try to hide from the wind, mentally swearing at yourself for not bringing a coat. You see a little excited figure hopping with their arms up, signaling for you to come closer faster. You can’t deny, that even with all the gloominess you were feeling, seeing Sunoo made you just a little warmer.

Smile spread wide along your face, you hug your friend and quickly get in the store, protecting yourselves from the cold. You ordered a cup of milk tea and some cookies, while he got the infamous bear shaped donuts he was fawning over.

— Are you going home this weekend? — He asked, sipping his coffee.

— Nope. Tryna’ avoid conflict, don’t really wanna see my parents right now. Nor my brother. — You answered looking down to the cup you were holding.

— Hm, I see… You never talk about your brother, though, I don’t even know his name! — He argued.

— Yeah… We’re very different people, and he pretends he’s an only child to his friends, so I might as well just don’t give him that type of attention to mine. — You replied, annoyed.

— Why does he do that?! — His mouth was almost theatrically open, in utter shock.

— I don’t know — You shrugged — He puts on this facade, pretending to be someone he’s not, I guess that includes pretending our family isn’t completely fucked up.

After eating, you both gathered your things and went to your designated classes. Today was Friday, though, which meant Jake had the same classes you did in the morning. God, how do you pay attention to anything math related when Jake fucking Sim is sitting across from you?

You were entering the classroom when you felt a strong bump on your shoulder, almost knocking you down on the floor. You turn around and see no one other than Lee Heeseung, your brother. Not alone, though, he was with Jake. Since when did they become friends? You had no idea, but he was even crashing his classes.

He bumped into you on purpose and you knew it, which meant he was mad at you for whatever reason. You looked at him from across the room with burning eyes, which made him roll his and switch his gaze back to his friend.

You sat on the desk next to Jake’s, watching your brother’s eyes fall upon your figure as you did so, burning into your soul with anger. He wondered what were you trying to do, what moves would you pull, sacred you’d expose him. You couldn’t care less, though, you just knew that if you sat close to them he’d be worried and paranoid the entire time and that was enough revenge for you.

The day went by very slowly, turning every now and then to glance at Jake, pretending you were trying to look at Heeseung instead. He looked extra good today, with his black leather jacket draping over his shoulders, his blonde highlighted locks falling ever so gently on his forehead, your brother had to be really angry to not realize how your eyes were filled with adoration when you looked to your side.

But it kind of made you sad, though. That wasn’t any boy you were admiring, it was Jake. He never hooked up with a girl more than once, and he still managed to get many, and they were all WAY out of your league. They didn’t wear sweatpants to class, nor showed up everyday bare faced. They were just as admirably good looking as him. You really were longing for someone who couldn’t dare to even look at you, less be yours only.

The bell rang after what felt like an eternity, and to your luck, your best friend was already waiting for you outside. You went his direction and started chatting, but your eyes were wandering somewhere else. He was quick to pick up on it, though.

— No fucking way. — He said, mouth open.

— What? — Your gaze suddenly moved back to him.

— You? Fawning over Jake Sim? — He was just speechless.

— WHAT?! — You jumped off your spot, closer to him, almost palming his mouth for him to shut up. — I’m not!

— You we’re staring at him like he was a piece of food! Y/N, don’t get me wrong, he’s handsome as hell, but he’s a fuckboy and you know it. — He explained.

— I’m not simping for him, Sunoo, get over it.

— Okay, sorry — He held his arms up in sign of defeat. — But if you’re in for a one night stand, we could give you, like, a glow up montage so he would look at you…

— Oh thank you, I feel flattered. — You said ironically.

— That’s not what I meant and you know it! You’re gorgeous, but right now you’re kind of following the depressed core style, and it’s not doing anything for you.

He was right. You barely dressed up properly to go out anymore, and you can’t even remember the last time you wore makeup. It was tempting, but should you do this just because of a guy? It felt wrong.

— Sunoo, I’m not gonna do that just because of some guy. — You said, despite your inner urge to actually do it.

— Okay, sorry, just pitching ideas.

“i’m a fool to seek a kiss not mine alone, to share a kiss the devil has known”

The weekend finally came, and you were unexpectedly excited. Sunoo had a birthday party to attend, and he asked you to go with him. You would usually deny or feel uncomfortable going, but it had been so long since you’d had some fun or even dressed up nicely, you were excited to do so.

There was no point going back home anyway, your parents decided last minute they were going on a business trip, leaving the house empty. Partying it is!

Your makeup looked gorgeous, and your short black silky dress hugged your body perfectly. Sunoo was shocked at the sight of you, feeling happy for his best friend who was finally going to have some fun.

The party was packed, a lot of students from your school were there, getting wasted and making out with each other. You and your best friend had a couple of drinks and were just having a good time. You played board games, despite your brains not being at full capacity at the moment, which only made it funnier, did karaoke, and just gossiped all night long. You certainly hadn’t been this happy in a while.

You didn’t even pay attention to the people who were at the party, only sticking around Sunoo and his other friends. About 4am, you decided it was time to leave.

— But campus is so far away from here, we’d have to walk! — Sunoo argued.

— We can go to my parents house, it’s only a mile away and they’re not home anyway. Please, I need to sleep! — You suggested.

He gave in and you two were quickly on your way. It took you a little longer than usual to get there, with your dragging feet and drunk steps, but once you’d made it, it made you feel victorious. You opened the door quietly, out of muscle memory, forgetting that there was nobody home.

You both quickly got in, still taking feather light steps, Sunoo going straight to the bathroom to wash his face, while you went to the kitchen to grab some water. You grabbed a cup, and as soon as you turned on your heel to go around the counter, two bodies appeared out of nowhere, one of them holding a broom, and the other a lamp (?), ready to throw hands.

You screamed, surprised, dropping your glass on the floor, and they screamed at the same time, only to realize it was your brother, who was also at that party and had the same idea as you. But he wasn’t alone. Of course he had to bring Jake Sim to your parents house. Perfect.

A terrified Sunoo ran over your direction and turned on the lights, to meet the weirdest scene he could’ve pictured. Two of the school’s jocks in front of you, holding “weapons”, and glass shattered on the floor.

— What the fuck is wrong with you?! — You screamed, pushing your brother’s chest.

— Me?! You should’ve said you were coming home! — He argued.

— Oh, so now you care about me or what I do? Do you still tell other people you’re an only child? That’s why you needed the heads up? — You mocked.

He let out an annoyed scoff, rolling his eyes.

— That’s your brother? — Sunoo finally spoke up from across the room.

— You have a sister? — Jake asked, with a smug grin on his face.

His eyes landed on your thighs immediately, causing you to adjust your dress, trying to cover yourself up a little more. You were angry. Fuming. You couldn’t care less about Jake Sim right now.

— Oh great, you’re ready to clean this up! — You went up to Jake and stated sarcastically, pointing at the glass on the floor and the broom he was holding.

You left the kitchen without saying a word, despite your brother’s protests, and quickly grabbed Sunoo’s arm and led him to your bedroom.

— So you never bothered to tell me your brother was Heeseung? Lee Heeseung? THE Lee Heeseung? — He asked, plopping down on your bed.

— Okay, I get it! Whatever, he’s popular, but he’s an idiot. — You answered, removing your heels. — You can sleep here, I’ll take the couch.

— No it’s okay, you should sleep on your own bed. — He got up reluctantly.

— No, really, I hate it here, you can have it. — You argued.

— If you say so… — He mumbled, before drifting off almost instantly.

You let out a small chuckle at your friends action, then poorly removed your make up, put on an old oversized t-shirt, and made your way downstairs, desperate to get some shut eye. You were almost throwing yourself down on the couch, only to squeal lightly when you realized someone else was already lying on it.

— Fuck! You scared the shit out of me! — You whisper-yelled. — Great, I’ll sleep on the bathtub.

— What? You don’t like to cuddle? — The guy answered you, drowsy.

That’s when you realized it wasn’t your brother, it was his really handsome friend lying there.

— Oh shit, sorry, I thought you were Heeseung. — You suddenly became shy, and quickly turned on your heel to go wherever, as long as it wasn’t the living room.

But before you could make a move, a hand grabbed your wrist, making you go back and accidentally sit down on the couch.

— You can sleep here, I don’t bite. Don’t tell me you’re actually sleeping in the bathtub because you’re nervous around me? — He asked, his eyes still closed.

— I-I’m not! I don’t even know you — You answered, trying to let go of his grip.

— I see you looking at me in class, I know you know me. Just lay down and sleep, for god’s sake. — He argued.

You sighed in defeat, after a few seconds of silence, not knowing what to say. His arms draped around your waist, hugging you, as you laid with your back against him. You could feel his warm breath hitting the back of your neck and it made your heart race.

— Relax — He chuckled, resting his face further down your neck, which only made you feel more nervous.

You decided that you should fake it until you made it. You started telling yourself that it was alright, relaxing into his embrace, letting your hands fall on top of his. Your heart was still beating out of your chest, but you were acting like you were used to him.

That was until he started softly kissing your neck, trailing down near your shoulder, holding you tighter. A part of you wanted to let him continue, but another part of you felt so used. You knew you’d be only another girl he slept with, and you couldn’t allow yourself to go through that.

— What are you doing? — You asked firmly.

— Hm… Kissing you — He said in between kisses.

— Really, I just wanna sleep. — You said, taking your hand off his.

— Alright. — He answered, a cold tone in his voice.

He took his arms off you and laid on his back, facing the ceiling. You felt cold and somewhat empty, you wanted more of him, but you know you shouldn’t. You fell asleep right after, hoping that when you woke up, things wouldn’t fall apart like you felt they would.

taglist: @loves0ft

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chibrary · 4 months

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ARTICLE: Charles Leclerc: "Ho imparato anche a dire le parolacce" (2020)

source: alessandra retico for repubblica.it translation: lovingleclerc2 on twitter series: f1, 2020

Might your arrival in Maranello negatively influenced Vettel’s performances?

I don't think so, on the contrary I think he was pushed even more to show what his true value is, although we all already know that he's a great driver.

Do you have any advice to give him?

I would never allow myself to, he has done much more than me in this sport and he deserves respect.

But between you, there were contrasts and sparks on track.

Yes, but our relationship has always been very good. Maybe at first it was a bit strange because of my 'fault': I was next to a 4-time world champion. It intimidated me, it made me anxious. He is so renowned while I still haven't proved anything. But over time we have sympathized. There's always been a great respect even in difficult times like in Brazil last year or in Styria this year. But once off track we always made it clear and we went on with serenity.

Are you serene about the future?

I'm extremely motivated, happy to get the most out of a difficult situation like this. It won’t be a quick recovery for Ferrari but my job is also to try to push everyone to make sure that this difficult period is as short as possible. Mentally I am as focused as ever and although I would like to fight for higher positions, I know that I‘m doing a good job and that the team is happy with me. Of course, being happy with a 5th or 6th place is not really what I want, I will never want that, but it satisfies me to progress to be as ready as possible when the time comes, for me and for Ferrari.

When will the time come?

As for performance, it'll be difficult to make a miracle with the 2021 car. In 2022, there'll be big changes and from then on we’ll have many years with the same concept of cars. We must start that phase competitive and with enthusiasm.

What can you promise to fans realistically?

To give my best, to give a show, this I can promise.

Meanwhile your popularity is growing.

For me, it has always been very important to stay the closest to the people who follow me on social media, on TV, or on track. Now that it’s more difficult without an audience, I want to maintain this closeness. The contact, virtual or physical, being accessible to others, for me is essential. And I’ll tell you more: next year I’m going to expand my social networks, which now are very thematized on my professional life, with content about me behind the scenes, out of track, in my private, to let people see who I am and what I do between one race and the other. I want to tell of myself as a person more.

Who is the private Charles Leclerc?

A normal guy, who enjoys the time he spends with his friends and family. Although since I’m in Ferrari a lot has changed: not like I did bad things before, but now I also have to give a good image of myself outside the car. Just saying, if I eat at the table I have to be careful how I’m doing it.

Your strong and your weak point?

: "I am strong in self-analysis: I'm very sincere with myself and this makes me grow a lot. My weak point is being sometimes too harsh in judging myself. Before, I was very upset about making mistakes that I still make out of inexperience or too much desire. But being demoralized is useless, the past cannot be changed. Making mistakes made me more mature, mentally very strong.

Ferrari will be without a world champion. Did they choose well with Carlos Sainz?

I don't know why they took him rather than another, but Carlos is very strong and consistent. Last year towards the end of the season he used to ask me if there was a free seat in the Red car, I replied that I didn't know, but he already had stars in the eyes.

What do you like the most and the least about Italy?

I like the simplicity, besides food of course. One flaw? I hear the bad words from the mechanics and I got into the habit of saying a lot of them too, I say more in Italian than in French.

Will your brother, now in the FDA, get to Maranello?

It’s soon, but he deserves it. He didn’t have my chances, we started together but then didn’t have enough money to continue both, my father gave the priority to me as I am older, Arthur had to stop and started again since I’ve got into F1, my uncle and I help him. He's talented, we are similar in personality. He will find his way.

Today Mick Schumacher makes his debut with Alfa Romeo in free practice. How much does it matter to be the son of Michael?

The Schumacher name is powerful in F1 and not only, but Mick is here for his talent and not for his name. It’s going to be tough here with this cold weather, for him and for everyone, we look like skiers. What about us? Some aerodynamic update, but we’ll struggle with tyres.

Do you envy anything to Hamilton or Verstappen?

I'm happy with who I am, I don't look at others, in F1 you have to be the best & I try to be the best version of myself. When we have Ferrari in front I hope I’ll be able to show what this team's worth.

#series:f1 #year:2020 #format:interview #charles leclerc

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snowdrrops · 1 year

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3 WAYS TO FLIRT WITH DIVINER FU

FEAT; jingyuan x fuxuan [hsr] WC; 900+ SUMMARY; Yanqing gives advice to the General of the Cloud Knights. Confusion ensues.

there's no jy x fx tag on ao3 yet 😭 so only on tumblr for now. also i finally got hsr headers???

1: compliments

The very first time Jingyuan brings up the topic of courting Fuxuan occurs on a sun drenched Thursday afternoon, with Yanqing by his side.

Jingyuan held back a smile when Yanqing’s eyes widened in unabashed excitement delight at the variety of food displayed on the table, which happened to include many of Yanqing’s favourites. He glanced up at the General before giving the food his fullest attention again. “What’s the special occasion?”

“Is there a need for a special occasion to savour your favourite delicacies?”

Yanqing shook his head eagerly. “Of course not.”

Jingyuan leaned back in his seat. “Well then, you should start eating before the food turns cold.”

The younger boy flashed him a grin, and Jingyuan knew he had already won. Well, at least he hoped he had.

“Yanqing.”

“Hm?”

“There’s a matter of urgency I’d like to talk to you about.”

Yanqing looked up at him unfazed, setting down his spoon. “I saw this coming, to be frank. What’s up?”

Jingyuan rested his hands on the table and mentally went over the script he had come up with during the duration of the past week. Unhesitatingly, he said, “I’d like to court Master Diviner Fuxuan.”

Initially, Jingyuan had come up with forty six ways in which this revelation could go. The most likely out of all of them was receiving a laugh out of Yanqing.

But he must have made a miscalculation along the way, because what he did get as a response is a pained groan.

“Ughhhh, General! Your jokes are becoming more far-fetched with each passing day! You want to court Diviner Fu? Please don’t subject me through the torment of listening to this again!” Yanqing exclaimed, dramatically holding a hand to his chest.

Jingyuan was… beyond stunned. Was it that difficult for Yanqing to envision a future for Fuxuan and himself? Or maybe he already had someone else in mind for her? That would be most unfortunate, since he knew how hard it was to change Yanqing’s mind. In any case, his top priority was to convince the boy that he was being genuine.

As Jingyuan was trying to string his words together, Yanqing’s amused expression dissolved into one of shock and disbelief.

“General, you’re being serious?” Yanqing asked, a hint of uncertainty laced in his tone.

At this, Jingyuan gave a nod. Words had failed him.

Yanqing reached into his pocket for his phone as a mischievous smile broke out on his face. His hesitation from a few seconds ago seems to have dissipated. This got rid of one of Jingyuan’s worries.

“I’m going to text her right now. Even if you’re lying, it’ll be fun to see this play out before my eyes.”

Ah, at least some of this situation was going to plan. He slid a sleek, grey debit card across the table, right in Yanqing’s line of vision.

The younger boy sighed. “Now that’s just cheating.”

Jingyuan shot him a smile, which was received with a scowl. “If you assist me in courting her, this shall be yours.”

Yanqing pocketed his phone and folds his arms, huffing at the same time. “What do you want me to help with?”

“Flirting.”

“Never in my life would I have envisioned you saying that,” he says with a chuckle. “Are you sure that words are the way to Diviner Fu’s heart? What if she’s so repulsed by your coquetry that she decides to quit her job? General, when was the last time you made romantic advances to someone?”

“Approximately a hundred years ago? I can’t be sure…”

Yanqing poorly disguised his laugh as a loud cough.

“But it doesn’t matter now, since my attempts have clearly failed. That’s why I’m asking you for help,” Jingyuan continued.

Yanqing snapped his fingers and stood from his seat. “Okay, enough of that. Judging from the situation now, I’m going to have to start from the basics.

One of the ways to a person’s heart is compliments, and I don’t mean the cliche ‘you look beautiful’ or ‘I love the way you did your hair today’,” he explained, pacing the dining hall with his hands behind his back like a trained professional.

“Your compliments need to carry an air of affection, and they have to be as specific and poetic as possible.

If you want to convey your admiration for the way she looks, compare her beauty to the shimmering stars in the night sky, or maybe the orange glow of the sunset beneath the horizon.”

At some point, Jingyuan procured a notebook out of thin air and started to take pointers down. The discussion went on for the next four hours, and by the time Yanqing paused for a sip of water, the sun had already gone down.

“Tell me how it goes tomorrow. Good luck, General!”

Jingyuan was still reading from his notebook the next afternoon when Fuxuan’s hologram appeared before him. She raised a brow at him when their eyes met.

“What did you need me for, General? Another Stellaron crisis?” Fuxuan asked, folding her arms.

Jingyuan recalls the notes that Yanqing had given him and takes a deep breath in. Here goes nothing.

“Fuxuan, perfume doesn’t suit you at all, because you already-”

Before Jingyuan was able to continue, Fuxuan’s eyes narrowed to slits and she scoffed. Very loudly. “You’ve reached a new low, Jingyuan. I’ve sacrificed thirty seconds of my lunchtime to speak to you, only to receive such hurtful remarks? Goodbye.”

She didn’t even give him time to explain himself, her hologram disappearing after she said her piece. Jingyuan stared at the spot she was standing a few moments before.

Where did he go wrong?

#honkai star rail #jing yuan #yanqing #fu xuan

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gothamslostboy · 1 year

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Hi!! ive always wanted to do a matchmaking request for the lost boys <33

* Physical appearance-

i’ve got wavy blue hair, cut up to my ears, basically brahms hair cut but grown out! i have green/brown eyes, and i have so many beauty marks all over my body. i’m 5’6, and have ear piercing + a septum! i have -5 vision so i need glasses ;-;

* Style-

as of right now i dress like a dad or that one uncle, cargo shorts, over sized tshirt, hawaiian shirts or hoodie, rings and necklaces [lots of thrm] earrings and nose ring!! i always make sure i have cool socks on tho, gotta keep up the style!! i usually carry a canva messenger bag with me. for shoes it’s probably doc martens!

* Favorite food

spinach, pickle flavoured sun flower seeds, ramen, calamari, rice, simple foods mostly

* Gender preference -

any gender works for me! i just tend to lean more towards men <3

* 1-2 hobbies -

i absolutely love crafting, no matter what it is, i want to make stuff! it’s not really a hobbit but i love taxidermy, when i did my first rat i fell in love with it and want to do more, so anything relating to death is a bobbie for me 🫶

* Music tastes-

sad love songs, metal music, fnaf music, french music,, it’s very all over the place right now here are the most listened to songs from me! loosing my mind - dennis domian, atlantis - seafret, ça va - emile bilodeau, we’re not gonna take it - twisted sisters, it’s a little of everything yknoe

* Favorite animal-

i think my favorite animals are between sharks, the stoplight loose jaw fish, frogs, rats and worms!!

* Favorite movie/genre -

For genre it’s horror all the way, but for favorite movies? my favorite movies are the lost boys, scream, labyrinth, 9, ferngully, dead poets society and the last unicorn!

* 1-2 personality traits -

im childish, but gruesome thinking, and i have terrible adhd and can basically remember nothing

* Gender

i have no gender 🫶 but i lean towards male pronouns

* Fandom (max 3) - which movie/tv show

the lost boys please!!

* How many characters?

1. 1 fandom: maximum 2

3. 2-3 fandoms: maximum 3

whoever you see fif

* Zodiac sign

i’m a taurus✋

* 1-2 traits you look for in partner in a partner i just really want someone who will love me for me, that’s understanding and will get i habe my ups n downs, but also someone who’s down to do stupid stuff when the time comes yknow? i’m a really big person on giving gifts to people, so someone who could possibly match that energy❓

here’s some extra info about me tho

i’m aro-ace! the type of aromatic that’s cupioromantic, and a mostly sex-repulsed asexual. now the sex repulsed part is mostly towards myself, i don’t wanna see other people or myself naked, watchjng sex scenes is less bad, still weird to me tho,, i speak frnech since i learnt it when i was also learning english! so i’m sorry if my spelling is off or there’s mistakes 😭 i have writing issues shsishshs

this is so exciting i hope i gave you enough info!!

Ok before I get into this: YOU ARE SO COOL. YOURE LIKE A COOLER VERSION OF WHO I WANT TO BE. Pickle flavored sunflower seeds are amazing, but I always accidentally eat the shells haha:] don’t worry your spelling is great, also I wish I was taught another language when I was young, my mom hired a Chinese teacher and I remember 1 song, but we stopped when I was 4 (started at 2) and I don’t remember anything else<\\\3

I Ship You With….

Marko! You want someone who also likes giving/receiving gifts? HE IS YOUR MAN!!! Holy shit he’s gonna give you so many gifts you won’t be able to move around your home.

He’s a vampire, so who is he to judge anyone? As long as someone is not a hateful bigot or an asshole, he’ll find a way to vibe. He himself struggles with anger issues, so he understands mental health a bit and does his best. Besides Paul, he’s the boy most likely to do stupid shit with you, mainly bc he enjoys being a gremlin.

Lil personal hc here: Marko is Trans, so when it comes to you not having a gender, it’s the equivalent of someone not having blonde hair to him: he doesn’t care. He’s just happy to have you as a partner

Marko is very used to being around Paul, so ADHD and childish behavior doesn’t bother him, and he’s gonna encourage your gruesome thinking as much as he can.

His favorite things about your style is your hair, socks and piercings, certainly begging to re dye it himself and buying you guys socks. He buys 2 pairs, takes one of each pair, and gives you the remaining two. He loves to do this instead of matching things in the normal way.

He is an artsy dude, focusing mostly on clothes himself. But once you tell him about taxidermy? He’s on his hands and knees asking you to show him how. He obviously knew what it was, just for some reason it never connected in his head that it’s a real thing ppl do.

On dates he takes you to local flee markets/ art shows to get things and make art out of whatever thing inspires you too.

After one of his favorite pigeons passes, he will ask if you could taxidermy it for him and keeps it safely in his room.

#glb match making #matchmaking

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sophierequests · 1 year

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🌿 i talk in my sleep - send me your ideal idea of a first date and some facts about yourself and i'll ship you with a character and write a short drabble about them

my name’s finn, i use he/they pronouns, im a gay man, and My idea of the perfect date is something quiet and soft but romantic in an almost fairytale-esc manner- walk around with me in a library or a garden or by a river or something, there doesn’t even have to be food involved or anything, i just love the idea of going somewhere to do something simple and quiet in an environment that allows the person to devote all of their attention to me <3

(ps, i know the ship is supposed to be of author’s choice, but i’d really love to see this prompt filled with nikolai if you’re willing to bend the rules like that. also just wanted to say i’m a new follower but i scrolled your blog before following and you’re very talented, love your work!)

shipping people with grishaverse characters // the garden event

so you expected me to read 'fairytale-esque' and not pick a literal prince? no faith /lh

the prince x prince trope (or royal x royal, because i didn't really specify you being a prince) was right there and i took it without asking questions, so i hope you'll like this piece!

and thank you for the compliment!! <33

You leaned back in the deep blue library settee and let out a deep sigh, allowing your mind to finally leaf through everything that had been thrust upon you today. Memories of meetings with ministers, walks over the training grounds, and an introduction to Ravkan military policies made your eyelids feel droopy and your feet feel like they had been made out of lead. And it was barely even late afternoon. If this hadn’t been a library you would have probably given in to the need for a good old nap. Who knew that courting a prince was this much hard work?

Just as you were about to get up and look for an adequate book to keep you from falling asleep, an unruly head of golden curls materialized right above your face. It nearly made you fall off your seat in shock.

Nikolai let out a breathy chuckle, the sound clinging to your ears like warm, smooth honey. You shot up immediately, feeling a hot flush of embarrassment rise up in your cheeks. Your fiancé finding you right in the middle of your self-imposed mental health break wasn’t something you had been looking forward to.

“Nikolai, I–” You tried to explain yourself, but he brushed off every futile attempt at doing so with a dismissive hand gesture.

“Shouldn’t you be off getting your ears talked off by the international ambassadors?” He gave you a beat of silence to respond but instead of coherent words, a yawn escaped your throat. “Tired after a long day of dealing with all that bureaucratic nonsense, pretty boy?” he asked, a knowing grin on his lips when he saw your visceral reaction to him complimenting you.

“I–I suppose you could say that, yes.” Nikolai leaned on the armrest where your head had been sitting just a few moments earlier and looked down at you with kind, yet mischievous eyes. “Shouldn’t you be…spending your evening with more important people than me?”

“Oh, but who could be more important than my soon-to-be husband?” You almost choked on your own spit when he leaned down even further towards you, passing you a cheeky wink while he was “Unless said man doesn’t want to spend the evening with me, of course. Then I’d have to return to listening to my brother prattle on about whatever horse he purchased last. It would be unfathomably dreadful, to say the least, but if that’s what you–”

“No, no, I mean, I wouldn’t mind spending the evening with you!” you interjected quickly–maybe a bit too quickly judging by the bemused expression that smoothed over his features.

“Perfect!” Nikolai held out his hand expectantly, and you stared at it for a solid minute before realizing what he wanted. “Come on, get off that dilapidated excuse of a seat and take my hand.”

With a little bit of hesitation, you obliged, allowing him to pull you to your feet and drag you out of the library. His pace was quicker than you had expected–he wasn’t full-on running, but he was definitely hurrying–and you had trouble keeping up with him. When you rounded the corner that led towards the stairs stretching down to the garden, a gaggle of the ministers you had talked to earlier this morning appeared in front of you, all of them shooting upright as soon as they noticed you.

“Your Highness! We were just conversing and wondering if you and–”

“My apologies, we may have to return to that matter on another occasion,” Nikolai waved them off quickly, eliciting a few raised eyebrows and confused glances. “I have already devoted my complete attention to something else, so I won’t have the time!”

You gaped at him in shock, but he didn’t acknowledge it, only continuing his hasty pace in the direction of the garden.

“Nikolai!” you blurted, still following after him with not a clue where he was taking you. “Why did you do that? You can’t disregard your ministers like this! What will they think?”

“As you can see, I did exactly that just now. Don’t fret, they’ll have forgotten about all of this in a few minutes. They just need someone to entertain their delusions and I will not be bothered with that today.”

“They could still come and find us, you know?” you snorted incredulously.

“I highly doubt they will find us. Where I am taking you is not really all that interesting to the public eye.”

“That could either mean that you’re taking me somewhere terribly romantic or somewhere to drown me and hide my body afterwards.”

“You have a lot of faith in me, darling. But I can assure you that I’ll go for the former most of the time, the former is too much work.”

You wanted to shoot back another witty comment since you were quite enjoying the careless bickering the two of you had been going on, however, your breath caught in your throat when he pulled you through the long, flowing branches of a weeping willow and down a pretty unkempt pathway made out of rickety wooden stairs. Trees lined the stretch of grass and mud as he finally started to slow down, letting his eyes graze over the stunning display of nature surrounding you. You could hear the steady stream of a river somewhere in the thicket beside you, the assuasive sound of running water only getting disturbed by the occasional rustling in the coppice or the tweeting of birds.

“What are doing here?” you whispered, voice hushed as if you feared getting caught.

Nikolai fell into step next to you and passed you a self-satisfied grin. “Do you not like it?”

“What? No! I love it, it just makes me wonder what exactly you ditched your ministers for.”

“So me saying that I was going to devote my complete undivided attention to you was not enough? And here I thought that a lovely evening walk would convince you of the intentions behind my affections.”

“You might have to be a bit clearer in the future.”

“Oh trust me, that can be arranged.”

→ to my event post!

#— the garden celebration #nikolai lanstov x reader

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panda-writes-kpop · 2 years

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Demon! SuA - Tainted Love

A/N: Hi guys, girls, and non-binary pearls! This is a bit of a longer piece, so I'd grab a water and maybe something to eat before sitting down. You might want to grab some tissues while you're up, if you're wondering what kind of fic this is. Also, big thank you to @kingmaker-a for giving this fic a read before it came out! I had to have the Angstmaker give his stamp of approval if I was gonna write some angst, and I'm so glad that I did. 💖

Masterlist!

TW: Mentions of labyrinths, lots of angst, author venting, demons (no duh, Katie), self-deprication, mentions of food, serial killers, and hell, more angst, a toxic relationship, blood, mention of oceans and drowning, implied torture (?), mentions of death, religious themes, reader drinks alcohol, no happy ending :), also SuA acts very ooc and I definitely would not use this as an accurate judge of her character or personality.

Sometimes I feel I've got to

Run away I've got to

Everyone faces a labyrinth of sorts in their life. Whether it’s the physical limitations of their body, the mental anguish that comes with living life, or that feeling of isolation that everyone experiences from time to time, the personalized labyrinth of life comes for us all at one point or another.

Most people find an escape to their labyrinth. You can strengthen your body so you can push the limits of your body, you can talk to someone who can help you understand and control your feelings, and you can find comfort in the love of your friends and family when you feel alone.

My labyrinth, however, is one that I will never escape. It has a tight grip on me that I will never escape because I don’t want to let go of it. My labyrinth is my crutch, and it’s a poison that’s killing me from the inside. I can never let go of the thing that I want the most, no matter how much I want to run from it.

Love. Love is the labyrinth that I choose to face head-on. No matter how much love bites me, I want to believe that love will be my savior even though it’s my torturer. I let myself get hurt over and over again for a simple what if that will never come my way.

What if… that’s a statement that will lead you to an endless amount of questions that will never lead you to the answer that you seek.

What if I talked to them more? What if I was a better listener? What if I was more attractive? What if I was smarter?

What if instead of trying to gain love advice from a demon and then falling in love with her, I just talked to someone about my problems?

What if?

I guess that’s the reason I’m trying to run away. How do you get away from the problems that you create? How do you find your escape to the labyrinth?

In my case, I answered both of those questions in the stupidest way possible.

Get away

From the pain you drive into the heart of me

Everything started when I was young. That’s where that labyrinth of love started to surround me, and I wasn’t able to find an escape.

When we were kids, we threw love around as a silly word that didn’t mean much. Love was just another normal expression that we used on a day-to-day basis. We loved drawing, we loved playing on the swing set, and we loved being young and free to do as we pleased.

As a teenager, love has a different meaning. Love can be used as a sweet safety blanket or a fiery weapon of destruction. It wouldn’t be uncommon to see a couple act all lovey-dovey in the morning, and then you’d see them arguing by the end of the day. Love was used as an excuse for horrible actions and bad mistakes. Love became a sword that would protect you or harm you. The scary thing was, you didn’t know which sword was which until someone tried to use it against you.

Love was like a whispered secret that I had yet to discover. A secret that had yet to make its rounds to my ear, but even then, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear it. I mostly stayed out of the dating scene as a teen, but I did try and fail a few times. Every time the hope of love would build me up to a new height, the reality of me not being good enough for the people I was interested in would bring me back down to Earth. I was scorned by love, but I kept trying because I was a stupid kid.

I trapped myself in my own labyrinth of love. I put myself through so much trauma that I distanced myself from the world. I felt unlovable because the world had yet to tell me that I was. I convinced myself that some white knight would come and save me from this labyrinth. I didn’t want to leave, so someone would have to come rescue me.

As for that white knight, I didn’t exactly have a demon whose job was to screw me over in mind.

Now, as an adult, I have yet to discover what love is to me. Is love innocent like childhood, or is it as harmful as my teenage mind made it out to be? Was love both or neither?

I didn’t know love until I saw her. Everything that I felt before that moment didn’t matter. I’d forgotten how much love had betrayed me when I went up and talked to her for the first time. I didn’t need anyone else if she was by my side.

We weren’t kids, and we weren’t teens. We were adults who could make a relationship work, right? I just had to make her fall for me like I had fallen for her.

...But love has different plans that left me alone in the labyrinth once again. She fell in love with someone who was better than I was, and I simply couldn’t be mad at her for that. She deserves someone who would love her, and that obviously wasn’t me.

Heartbroken, I wandered home alone the day I found out about her partner. I didn’t care that it was dark, and that I could’ve gotten hurt. I felt numb like nothing in the world could hurt me. I felt like I couldn’t hurt myself even though my body would feel the pain later on.

That’s when I found the book. A torn book with ripped pages and scribbled handwriting. That book would show me how to escape my labyrinth by placing me in an even bigger one.

I should’ve left that god-forsaken book on the sidewalk, or in the trash where it belonged.

I, being the fool that I am, had to pick up the book. A bit of light reading couldn’t hurt after a rough day, right?

Right?

The love we share

Seems to go nowhere

I came home and closed the door behind me while clutching the book close to my chest. It was my prized possession that I had won for losing at the most important aspect in life.

I set my coat and other material possessions aside for the book, and I turned on a lamp and sat down in a nearby chair.

I merely skimmed the book as I tried to decipher its hidden meaning. Why would a book like that appear in my life if it didn’t mean something? Everything in the world meant something to someone. As I admired those pages, I tried to think of what use that book would have to me. It’s unreadable handwriting had no monetary value, and the book looked like it had been through hell and back.

Oh, only if I knew that book really had been through hell.

Sleep quickly overcame me as I finished searching through the book, and I gently set the book on the table next to me.

Too tired to walk to bed, I simply slept on that chair as my mind spent another night dreaming of those stupid ‘what ifs’.

I arose in a state of complete disarray as the morning light peeked through my home’s windows. Luckily, it was the weekend and I didn’t have to worry about working the next day.

I pulled myself out of the chair and began to prepare breakfast. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, but I didn’t care to eat much as my mind still wandered over the what ifs of life.

What if I had made a move earlier? What if I waited until they broke up to date her? What if I wasn’t good enough for her? What if, what if, what if.

At that moment, while drowning my sorrows in a bowl of cereal and milk, I met “the one”.

She wasn’t anything like the girl from earlier. The girl I loved was sweeter than honey and had a heart made of gold.

The girl that I was about to meet would make serial killers look like saints if they stood next to her.

All I remember was looking up, and she was there. While I sat with that bowl of depressing cereal in front of me, she leaned over me and gently scanned me over with her eyes. Her hand gently graced my face for a moment, and I remember feeling like I wanted her to keep her hand there forever.

The girl leaned away from me before chuckling. She stuck her hand out as the morning light illuminated her fierce features.

Her strong jawline would make a model jealous, and her piercing brown eyes could cut straight through someone without a second glance. Her black suit defined her perfect figure as her brown hair seemed to float behind her head.

Everything about her screamed dangerous and deadly, but I couldn’t see the beast past the beauty in front of me. I didn’t question how she got in my house or why such a beautiful woman was in front of me.

To be fair, I didn’t really care at that moment in time, either.

She laughed again before wiggling her fingers in her extended hand. That laugh was a sound that I loved and dreaded. She used it when she was happy, or when she was very mad.

“The name’s SuA, and by the way you’re looking at me, I can tell we’ll be great pals.”

Pals, as SuA said it, would be the last word in the dictionary that I would use to describe our relationship.

Our relationship was like an endless loop of love, hurt, pain, and apologies. She was the labyrinth that I trapped myself in after escaping the loveless one.

Turns out, the only thing that’s worse than a loveless labyrinth is a labyrinth that is tainted with a love that’ll break you to your core.

And I've lost my light

For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

I sat there, stunned by her forwardness. Was she really talking to me? Was a woman that perfect really in my home? Did my dreams finally come to fruition, or had I finally gone mad from my desires?

Stupidly, I slipped my hand into hers, and I shaked it while trying to understand what exactly was happening.

“Y/N. I can’t help but wonder, why exactly are you in my home?”

SuA’s laughter hit my ears again, and I’d already become addicted to the sound of her happiness that echoes through my home.

“Oh, you humans are so naive! It’s adorable.” SuA gently tapped my nose which caused a wildfire of red to spread across my face. “You summoned me with that handy-dandy book that you found.”

My eyes widened as I grabbed the book from the table.

I was in absolute disbelief of what she was suggesting to me. Summoning? Demons are summoned, and the woman in front of me didn’t look like a demon.

Well, demons aren’t just called demons because of their looks. That was a lesson that I had yet to learn when this encounter took place.

I, in a moment of blinding idiocracy, asked her the first thing that came to mind.

“So, does that make you a demon?”

“Unless angels have started popping up from bibles, and the last time I checked they haven’t, I’m the only creature that you can find from a book.”

SuA sighed before pulling her hand from me. She then raised one hand in the air which caused every object that was on my table, including my bowl of cereal, to float in the air. The objects nearly touched my ceiling by the time SuA lowered her hand to her side.

My mouth was wide open in shock as SuA flashed me a wicked smirk. Was she really that powerful?

“You like what you see, right? That’s only the beginning of what we could do together. We can be a great team, but I need you to trust me.”

SuA took a seat on top of my small kitchen table before snatching the leather-bound book.

“Hey, what are you-”

“Hush.” SuA closed her hand, and at the exact same time, my hand covers my mouth. “You’re a lot more attractive when you stop talking.”

I grumbled in slight protest as I blushed out of embarrassment. SuA simply shakes her head before opening the book.

“God, I missed this thing. I’m glad that I was bound to this book because of how powerful it is.” SuA flipped through a few pages. “Ah, yes, the spells about torture, pain, heartbreak, romance-”

Her eyes glanced over to me after she said the word ‘romance’, and she chuckled as my eyes widened at its mentioning.

“You poor lovesick fool. You’ve fallen in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, right?”

I nodded my head before SuA clicked her tongue.

“I can fix that for you, if you’d like. All I need is your permission.”

SuA relaxed her hand, and my hand dropped from my mouth. I took a deep breath before answering.

“Please help me out, SuA. Do whatever you need to.”

I didn’t sleep that night, but for the first time in a long time, it wasn’t due to those stupid ‘what ifs’. I opened a whole can of worms that I had to deal with on my own.

As I rolled back and forth on my bed, I tried to forget everything that happened, but I couldn’t.

Everything about SuA stuck out in my mind. I already could envision her smiles, laughter, or smirks with a simple thought. I knew where my mind was going before I was able to make the conclusion.

I was crushing on a demon that was doing god knows what in order to get me a girl I didn’t want anymore. I had stopped thinking about her the moment SuA appeared.

SuA was charismatic, funny, and an interesting person to be around. Why hadn’t I figured this out earlier? I could’ve told her then, and this whole mess wouldn’t have happened.

The mess I am referring to is the only mess that a demon knows how to make.

You see, giving a demon the freedom to do anything is like playing Russian Roulette. You don’t know what the hell is about to happen, but it’s about to be bloody and ugly.

I shouldn’t have let a demon become a beacon of light for me. I should’ve stayed in my closet-sized labyrinth and waited for better days to come.

Go read a book or go outside. Talk to someone if you’re not feeling well. Whatever you do, don’t pick up strange books, accidentally summon a very attractive demon, and then fall in love with her. It’s a very awful, bad, and an all-around horrendous idea.

When SuA walked in with blood on her hands, the first thing I should’ve asked about was who she hurt. Demons can’t be hurt because they’re immortal.

In another moment of stupidity, I asked her if she was okay.

SuA simply sighed before saying, “It's done. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“What did you do?”

“You don’t want to know.” SuA deadpans before walking into my bathroom.

I assumed that she was cleaning the blood off, and I didn’t want to know anymore than I had to. I simply let what had happened happen. I had no control over her, and besides, she can’t do something that bad to a living person. Demons should have some sort of self-control, right?

Should have, could have, would have. Those are three phrases that I hate more than what ifs. What ifs are just questions that you ask yourself over and over. Eventually, your mind grows tired and they stop.

But those words, they never stop. They’ll put you right back into your past mistakes until you’re drowning in a sea of regret, misery, and self-pity. You won’t be able to breathe because the waves of endless possibilities will crash against you over and over until you stop fighting it. You don’t swim when you’re thinking about everything you could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done in a certain scenario. You sink as those thoughts pull you in like a heavy anchor that is attached to your ankle.

I should’ve swam far away when I first saw SuA. I should’ve left the country and gotten a new life. That would’ve put me in a much better position than I’m in now.

But I choose to be continuously pulled into the riptide. At this point in time, it’s a waiting game until I drown myself in my own misery.

Once I ran to you (I ran)

Now, I'll run from you

“Why the hell did you kill them?” I frantically waved my hands at the television as you tried to catch SuA’s attention.

Apparently, SuA’s fingernails were more important than my external panic as she stared at her nails while shrugging her shoulders.

“You told me to do whatever I needed to, and I did.”

“That wasn’t what I meant!” I yell as I nearly pull hairs out of my head while pacing back and forth in my living room.

“Jeez, take a chill pill. I wouldn’t have maimed them if I knew you were going to act like this.”

“You did WHAT?”

A couple’s first fight usually happens after a first date, first kiss, and if they’re lucky, when they first move in together. Since SuA and I are the off-brand version of a normal romantic relationship, we apparently decided to do things a bit out of order.

That being said, we weren’t exactly a couple back then, and I’m not sure if I would call us a couple now, after everything that’s happened.

“I just broke a few bones, dunked them in a nice ice bath, and then tossed them on a side of a road where there’s a lot of oncoming traffic. Whatever happened after that wasn’t directly my fault.” SuA said while digging through my fridge. “What kind of monster doesn’t have orange juice?”

“Hey, get out of there!” I turned the TV off before rushing over to her. “I haven’t had time to go to the store.”

“Do you mind if I make a sandwich?”

“I don’t know, SuA. Do you plan on killing anyone else?” I exasperatedly sighed before leaning on the fridge.

SuA bit her lip before closing the fridge door.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then.”

We both stood there awkwardly as we tried to think of something to say to one another. We came to a threshold that couldn’t be crossed. Granted, most couples don’t exactly tend to fight about murdering someone, but we tried to make it work.

“What happens next?” I softly asked. “How do we fix this?”

“There’s no fixing this, Y/N. I’m a demon, not a miracle worker. We go on with our lives. You get the girl, and I get the book. We have had a mutually beneficial relationship so far, and I’m glad to have met you, but I’ve really got to go now.”

SuA tried to grab the book from the table, but I grabbed it before she could.

“What if I told you that I didn’t want her anymore?”

SuA rolls her eyes before crossing her arms.

“You’re telling me that I murdered someone just for you to get wishy-washy on me? How pathetic.” She spit out before looking at me with disgust.

“I’m not the one who murdered someone. You did that all on your own. Besides, the girl that I have my eye on is much prettier than the first.”

SuA raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, and who would that be?”

SuA unfolded her arms before walking towards me. I kept a blank face as she closed in on me. I can feel my heartbeat all over my body as my mind begins to wander.

Would she let me kiss her? I guess I can find out now.

SuA put her face close to mine, and I’m so close that I could feel her breath tickle my cheek. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, but I can’t be the first one to make the move.

If she’s the one to save me from my labyrinth, then SuA must show that she's interested in me first.

I didn’t have to think twice as SuA’s lips connect with mine.

The taste of black licorice entered my mouth, and it was a flavor that I was permanently hooked on. No candy nor sweet could compare to her. Everything about her was perfect, and everything about that moment was perfect too.

SuA and I were like two shooting stars. We had two different paths in the night sky that eventually led us to one another. Normally, stars don’t collide with one another, but we did. Unfortunately, when two stars collide, they don’t stick together.

They explode.

This tainted love you've given

I give you all “a boy” could give you

Take my tears and that's not nearly all

I had tried to make it work. I knew that nothing would work when it came to SuA. She was a demon, and I was mortal. You can’t combine oil and water because they eventually separate from each other. We might have been oil and water, but we couldn’t let go of one another right from the start to the very end.

I knew how this would end. All of the fighting and screaming had to end sometime. I thought it would end with her walking out on me, and to her credit, SuA did walk out, but she always came right back to me.

I wasn’t much better, either. I told her how much I hated everything about her even though I loved her to death. I told her that she was a horrible person even though she was the only person that I could trust. I told her to never lay another hand on me even though she’d be holding me by nightfall.

We were both victims and perpetrators in a crime of passion and love. No cops would catch us because we’d act fine on the outside, like nothing had happened. Our relationship was perfect because that’s all the neighbors needed to worry about.

Oh, that screaming that you heard? Sorry, the music was too loud!

The sound of glass breaking woke you up at one in the morning? Sorry, my girlfriend had the munchies and she accidentally dropped the glass container of cookies. You don’t have to worry about us!

That crying sound? We had a movie night with a few friends, and some of us got really emotional. We’ll try to pick something happier next time.

Lies, lies, lies. It seemed like everything in our relationship was built on a lie.

SuA wasn’t the one who lied. Oh, no, I had to be the bad guy.

Of course I was the antagonist. We both weren’t to blame for a failing relationship, right? It was all my fault because I started this whole thing.

SuA didn’t have to kiss me. She didn’t have to save me from my labyrinth. She could’ve left me alone while running off with that magic book of hers.

But no, she kissed me and here we are. SuA slammed the door in my face after another heated fight, and I’m drinking my sorrows away while trying to figure out where I went wrong.

I do this once a week, but I haven’t learned my lesson. I know that SuA will come home and degrade me for drinking alone, but I’ll sit and take it on my chin in the name of “love”.

What sort of sick, twisted love have we wrapped ourselves in? This isn’t love, and I know it. Hell, I’m sure SuA does too.

Sure, love can hurt, but you shouldn’t feel like you’re being run over by a fifty-ton dump truck every time you talk to your partner. Love can burn, but you shouldn’t be covered in third-degree burns on a daily basis. Love can make you bleed, but you shouldn’t be left to die with cuts all over your body.

I take a swig of the drink in front of me, and I enjoy feeling it burn as the liquid travels down my throat.

Nothing can hurt you more than love except your thoughts, and I’ve been hurt by both on numerous occasions.

Without thinking, I take my drink and chuck it at the TV in front of me. Of course, the TV screen shatters along with the drink. I know that SuA will be pissed when she comes home, but I don’t care about our relationship or what others may think.

Numbness has replaced any sort of feeling I have towards her. We can dance this dance as many times as we wish because I won’t let her words or actions hurt me anymore.

My feet wobble as I make my way over to the couch. As soon as my body hits the couch, the tears flow from my face as the weight of my actions crashes down on me.

I’ll never escape this labyrinth. I’m stuck in a labyrinth that I made with my own desires. My home is my prison, and my heart is prisoner. I’m simply a vessel that carries my heart and emotions from place to place.

This labyrinth has spiraled out of control, and it’s bigger than my relationship with SuA. My mind, my thoughts, my actions, and my words are my labyrinth. SuA’s just a pawn that my mind uses to reason with me. It’s sick and it’s twisted, but I can’t help but to want more of that sweet drug that my brain offers me. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I can’t escape my mind even if I leave SuA.

As my eyes close, one final thought enters my mind, and it’s the worst one yet.

I’ve done all of this thinking and contemplating. I know how I want to act, and I know what I should do next. I need to leave SuA, and I need to get help for whatever’s going on in my head. I just know that I can’t because I won’t remember a single thing that I’ve thought about in the morning, and I’ll continue running around my labyrinth like nothing is wrong.

Oh, tainted love

Tainted love

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iwanttobethinsoicanfeelpretty · 20 days

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ÉD RANT : me and bf plan to go out to the city and enjoy our selves. I got all ready and wore clothing that made me feel pretty. though I struggle with terrible body dysmorphia, I tried to let aside my insecurities just for this one day. So far I was have a really good day, romanticizing walking in the city with a really pretty outfit on, and etc. once we got to the cafe/ bakery we planned to go to, everything just went down hill. Originally I wanted to go just for the aesthetic pics and just not eat the food (pls don’t judge me Ik that sounds kinda stupid) we got these pretty waffles toast named croffles. I also got a bagel and cream cheese while my bf got a breakfast sandwich. I really wanted to eat the bagel and cream cheese but with Ed and all we all know that’s not gonna happen. ALSO WHY THE FUCK DID IT COME WITH SM CREAM CHEESE INSIDE. it was like so much and so thick it made me in easy. I used to love cream cheese before my Ed but it became my fear food. Anyways like I said I just got the food for the aesthetic of my instagram highlight and in hopes of getting pictures of just me in general. I am a very self conscious person so with how good I was feeling today I had high hopes I would look good in them yk the feel good look good thing (it did not work). I used one of the food/croffle as prop bc I wanted to look quite and dainty like skinny girls on Pinterest pose with their food. Oh my god, I looked like a pig. I did not look cute and dainty I looked like a fucking fat ass just eating. I DIDNT EVEN TAKE A BITE AND IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS GONNA CHOW DOWN ON THAT THANG. I just looked so fat and it cause me to have a mental break down IN THE CAFE. I don’t know if other ppl who have Ed feels the same way but when I feel insecure from my Ed I start to get overly overwhelmed like full on anxiety attack . I kept begging my bf to let’s go home bc this is where I’m done with the day. (My Ed makes me feel like if I don’t feel skinny or look skinny, I need to stay home dissociated away) so now my anxiety is turning to anger and frustration bc my bf doesn’t seem to understand why the way I am (he knows about my Ed). He says things like “let’s just keep walking around” “let’s not ruin the day” etc just being a peace maker. I don’t understand my emotions either but in that moment I just really wanted to go home and hop on my scale. I feel so bad for how I am. I feel like I’m missing out on life and my self love bc of how brutal my self esteem is. I just wanna get to my fw so I don’t have to feel like this anymore. (pls don’t be mean)

#eat #thinspø #skiny model #ana buddie #starv1ng #@nor3×14 #ed dairy #thinspiration

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zekinler · 24 days

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Extremism

Extremism is the death of community.

The want and need for yourself and others to be on the “right” side of things almost always causes polarization. You feed into the othering of people you don't agree with, and you start hating people you've just met over small things. Polarization will create rifts in otherwise close communities for the smallest of grievances. Some people will genuinely believe that people who disagree on a issue with them, disagree with their identity. They'll see people who agree with them but don't hate the ones who disagree, as just as bad, and they'll either hate them or too, or convince them to hate the ones they disagree with.

People outside of the heated debate that might agree with both sides, have their own opinion, don’t care about the argument, or just want the argument to stop, are the worst to the extremists. They aren't on one of their sides and therefor aren't contributing anything to this "very productive" conversation.

It’s in these arguments that free-thinking dies. Why think for yourself, why go through the trouble of seeing or researching what actually happened and coming to your own conclusions from that, when you can just trust the person who is saying what this other person said about what this other person said about this other person’s exaggeration of this other person’s association with this other person’s comment about one of this other person’s beliefs… Why go through the effort of making your own food, when you have this person’s regurgitation of this person’s leftovers of this person’s screwed-up version of this person’s gourmet dinner.

Nowhere is this more obvious, than on Twitter/X. With how easy it is to have Twitter users believe whatever propaganda you want – and I do mean propaganda – someone in bad faith could make up an army more powerful than the world has ever seen. That's hyperbole, but in a more real example, their collective power to do what’s “right” can topple a person’s reputation and mental health in a matter of moments if they so choose. If there’s little to no one in that person’s corner backing them up, they will fall. Sometimes Twitter's actions and their consequences could be net-positive, maybe, but more often than not, it is down-right evil what they do to people.

Polarization has gotten to the point that people can spew endless hate and wish death upon a person who made a passing comment, positive or neutral, about someone who associates with someone else who people are mad about saying something that they didn’t even say, and they'll feel good about it. They can feel like they’re doing the right thing, by telling this person to end their life, because of something they didn’t say, believe, or do, because they were vaguely associated with someone else who also didn’t say, believe, or do anything wrong.

It does not stop at the present either. People will stalk you and your family and friends and they’ll dig into your years-old past to bring “evidence” against you, like it’s a vigilante court where they’re judge, jury, and executioner.

People love being right to others, people love being mean to others, and people don’t love others. Others aren’t them or the people that they actually know and care about. They’re strangers and they don't matter. Nothing about them matters, the only thing that matters is that they disagree, and that they should be hanged for their transgressions.

Love, acceptance, and understanding is cool and all, but this person said something I didn’t like.

We can disagree without hating each other. People tend to agree that that is possible. But, we agree to disagree and we agree to hate each other for it. We shouldn’t, but we do.

At the end of the day when someone's ideals are threatened, many are short to understand. They will defend, they will attack, they will rip each other to pieces. Because I’m right, you’re wrong, and there’s no middle ground in between that.

I hate extremism, extremely. Thanks for reading.

#argument #debate #internet #polarization

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tarnishedxknight · 1 year

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Making a character in thirty questions but it becomes increasingly more personal | Answered from here.

01. what is their name? Basch fon Ronsenburg

02. do they have a nickname? I mean... “Basch,” heh. When he was a knight, “Captain.” After his trial, “Traitor” or “Kingslayer.”

03. do they have other names? No, unlike his brother, Basch did not change his name after he left Landis.

04. what is their age? FFXII Prologue: 34 FFXII Main Game: 36 FFXII Ending, Revenant Wings: 37+ Fortress: 47

05. what is their eye colour? Blue

06. hair colour? Sandy blonde

07. what languages can they speak? I’m... not sure how to answer this, heh. Almost everyone in the entire game spoke English, they just had different accents. Different accents to me imply that their native languages might be different, but that was never elaborated on. I will say that Basch lost his native Landisian accent after moving to Dalmasca. He did that by choice to fit in better and make a clean start mentally. After that, he adopted a Dalmascan accent and had that for about two decades, until he moved to Archadia. Then he returned to a Landisian accent because that’s what Noah spoke with, and Basch was impersonating him for about a decade.

08. what is their favourite food? Fried or boiled, salted sand newt skewers, prepared Rabanastre style. If anyone wants this elaborated on, I can write a separate post about this weird little ball of headcanons I have, haha.

09. least favourite? Anything too fatty or rich, as it makes him feel weighed down and sluggish.

10. who is someone they would die for? Princess/Queen Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca. Hands down. He loves her immensely, and she’s his princess, so it’s his duty to protect her. He would have died for King Raminas as well, if he’d had that option, obviously because he was the king of Dalmasca but also because he was Ashe’s father. I would argue that he would have died for Prince Rasler Heios Nabradia as well if he’d been able to do that in time, not only because he was an important political figure for the central neutral countries of Ivalice, but also because he was Ashelia’s husband and she loved him. Also, by the end of the game, Prince/Emperor Larsa Solidor. That’s the whole point of him impersonating Gabranth, to keep Larsa safe, so that includes defending him with his life. During his childhood, his brother Noah, again because he loves him. Later in life, I’m not so sure. I think Basch would weigh the consequences of him dying against him losing his brother and come up short. Also I think he’d feel like his brother would not want him to do that because of pride and all.

11. who is someone they would kill? Vayne Solidor, obviously. Because he’s a dangerous man who is not above killing even his own family to get what he wants, and because he had no intention of working to end the war in Ivalice. By the time he overdoses on nethicite and starts mutating, heh, he’s mentally unfit to have the power that he did. He needed to be taken out. Judge Magisters Drace, Ghis, and Bergen, but all for different reasons. Drace... Basch met on the front lines of the Battle of Nabudis during which Rasler fell. Ghis and Bergen are just morally bankrupt men, with the former being a snide weasel and the later being a violent brute.

12. do they have any family members? Parents (deceased) and an identical twin brother (estranged or deceased, depending on timeline and verse).

13. did they go to school? Yes, Basch was in school until the age of 16, whereupon he became a professional soldier and never looked back.

14. what was /would be their favourite class? Not really a class, but he really enjoyed learning the family side hustle of chocobo breeding. Raising animals is something he is naturally very good at and enjoys immensely.

15. who was their childhood friend? His brother Noah, heh. From age 16 onward, Vossler.

16. what is their clothing size? I... have no idea, because it’s a fantasy world so what even are the sizes used there? His clothes were mostly made for him. Clothes, armor, accessories... yeah, they were made to size. When he’s healthy, Basch is decently muscular, so he’d need a large enough size to accommodate that. After his imprisonment, he was much thinner, having lost a lot of muscle mass from two years of malnutrition.

17. shoe size? Again, what even are the sizes in Ivalice? I don’t even know, haha. I’d say he has an average to slightly above average shoe size? Probably? *shrugs*

18. height? 5′ 11″, according to FFXII Wiki. His live action FC is 6′ 3″, so heh... anywhere in between that is good?

19. gender orientation? Male

20. sexual orientation? Heterosexual

21. do they have a sworn enemy? Not... really? Inasmuch as he never swore to defeat anyone or get revenge on someone. He’s had people kindof swear to get him, haha. Drace, for example. But as far as people high on his list of dislike or hate, I would say Emperor Gramis and Vayne Solidor. But Basch... really doesn’t actively hate people. He’s just not that person. He can dislike, he can disapprove, he can not be okay with someone, but hate...? *shrugs* The man is just too pure to hate very much or for too long.

22. do they have any tattoos? Nope.

23. have they ever smoked? Yes, but he didn’t like it very much.

24. what is their mental state? HAHAHA... oh you’re serious. I’d say 50% holding it together well, 40% not okay, and 10% so very desperate to love and be loved that it hurts. That’s... pretty much the state of his mind on any given day.

25. what is their darkest secret? That he abandoned his mother and brother at age 16 because he was too proud to go with them to live in and surrender to the Archadian Empire.

26. who is their sacred confidant? I... uh. Wow. You know, I just realized he doesn’t have one, heh. Basch has... literally no one that he confides things in. He’s... very much alone.

27. what is a lie they tell everyone? A lie from his point of view is that he’s a good person. He feels he’s got this like... seed of selfish evil at his core that he needs to remain constantly vigilant about to make sure it doesn’t grow any further. Sometimes he feels like a fraud, like one day people are going to realize that he’s not the honorable man they think he is. It all stems from the shame of that one poor decision he made as a boy. He will forever blame himself for it and believes it’s a sign that deep down, he’s not a great person.

An actual lie, ironically, is the exact opposite... that one bad decision makes him a bad person. Yes, what he did was really shitty, but it doesn’t define him as a person and it doesn’t mean he’s this lost, irredeemable cause.

28. what is one lie they know is not true but continue to believe? Uh.... that his mother died because of him. Deep down, he knows his mother was ill and would not have lived a full life anyway. But because of the guilt of abandoning her, he feels like (and will tell people) that he killed her by upsetting her and not being there to help her. But that’s just th guilt and grief talking, and if confronted, he will admit that.

29. if they were under different circumstances would they stray from their storyline? I’m really not sure. It would depend on what was changed, when, and why. Well, okay, I have written some threads that were really far deviations from canon, and his personality was a bit different. Gruffer. Edgier. Blunter. Less socialized, heh. But his core values, his integrity, his selflessness... major things like that? They always seem to remain, regardless.

30. what makes them hurt? Life. Love. Loss. War. Death. Sickness. Poverty. Famine. Injustice. You name it, heh. Basch has a big heart and so many things hurt it. I think that’s why he works so hard to make a dent in all the bad things in the world, or to help the good things end less tragically. He hates to see anyone suffer or lose a loved one or live with hardship. He’s deeply empathetic and that’s a rough kind of person to be in a war-torn world.

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #about the muse

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lqnar · 2 years

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these past few days i have had several coworkers make incredibly uncomfortable, triggering and weird comments about food, weight and eating. i just need to vent tbh. i’ll write what they said so read w caution lol

we work in fast food. the only relatively ”healthy” (i’m not here to judge but most food is dripping in oil and is objectively not great food to eat all the time) food you can get from this place is bagged fruit or some pickles. still, many employees eat food from the restaurant every time they work, which is fine but i feel like it makes people feel the need to prove that they’re not fat, unhealthy or overeating? like i do not give a Fuck if you eat a burger and fries every day or order a milkshake, but yeah no go ahead and tell me how fat you’re going to become, i Love hearing all about it :) best part is that i have to punch in my manager code every time an employee orders food, so i hear multiple small comments like this a day. love it.

then there’s two specific coworkers i have who cannot shut the hell up. one constantly talks about how little she eats. ”i did not eat at ALL yesterday, i haven’t eaten in two days!!!!!!” 1. i don’t care 2. but you literally ordered two chicken burgers from me 30 minutes ago doesn’t that count lol.

then she’ll go on about how she doesn’t eat enough and that she’s feeling sooo weak and hungry. if that’s the case, please ask for an extra break to go eat something or go home. but don’t tell me about how starving you are.

she also likes to tell me, someone with very obvious self harm scars all over my arms, about how she has cut herself. just as a ”i’m so sad” thing, out of nowhere. great, also i barely know anything about you but please tell me more about your declining mental health. i know this sounds heartless of me but from my perspective i cannot see how this behaviour would have ANY good intentions. i am not her support system, i am an overworked fast food employee trying to get through the day. i can try to be as supportive as possible but i cannot fix her issues and i am not the person to tell or ask for help from. if i ask her to hand out an order i am not mentally prepared to hear about her personal life and issues she is facing, i’m sorry but it’s not the time or place and i am not her therapist.

then there’s this guy who has no idea what’s socially appropriate to say about food, apparently. this week he has said several comments about how fattening the food is while ordering, talked about how he is on a diet so now he’s drinking zero sugar soda, said he shouldn’t eat at work because it’s sooo bad for you, and just the other day told me that he has to lose weight and tried to SHOW ME his supposed fat rolls that he needs to get rid of by lifting up his shirt. i told him i don’t want to see it and that it’s inappropriate but he kept doing it so i just walked away. also he keeps eating ice cream (in front of guests no less) and saying it doesn’t count because he has a sore throat. idk. he has said inappropriate things in the past but this past week it has been a lot of it.

i understand that this sounds concerning and that i should probably try to help him. i have tried to talk back against these negative thoughts and be supportive, but at some point i just cannot deal with it. it is inappropriate, i get triggered and from what i can tell he does still eat regularly at work and doesn’t restrict calories while at work. i know that doesn’t mean he has no issues, but again i am not his therapist, i am his coworker and i cannot help him more than i already am trying to.

i am more sensitive than most people when it comes to talking about food, but i truly do believe that these kinds of thoughts should be kept to yourself for the most part unless you have permission to talk about it, such as with a therapist, your support system who you know can and wants to hear about it, and even this subreddit.

i am not perfect but i Never tell anyone at work what i eat/don’t eat, when i eat/don’t eat, if i’m hungry/not hungry or about my body image issues. i understand that it’s inappropriate and that it can be harmful for others to hear about my eating disorder. i am also embarrassed by my disorder and have no need to tell my coworkers about it for sympathy, attention or concern. i might not be a perfect person who never does anything to hurt others but i don’t want to cause others to be triggered by my own personal issues. especially not at work, to my collagues i am not close friends with, where we just need to serve burgers.

these people are adult human beings. they should know better. i am so fucking tired of it and i wish they would shut up about the morality of food forever. that’s it

#vent from reddit

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loopy-froots · 3 years

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Childhood Friends

Brahms Heelshire x afab!Reader

Author: @loopy-froots

Word Count: 3261 (WOW wtf…)

Slight request by @leahromanof : small age gap (Brahms is 26-28 and the reader is 20)

Summary: The Reader grew up very close to the Heelshire family, as their parents were business partners with them. However, after the fire incident, Brahms and the Reader took some space from each other. While the Reader knew Brahms was still alive, they didn’t know under the circumstances he was. When a sudden tragedy strikes their family, the Reader is left with no home. The Heelshire family offer their home with welcoming arms, but much has changed between all of them since they have last seen each other.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, swearing, slasher x reader, smut, virgin/unprotected sex (masc and fem), abusive parents (fem), insecurities (on both parts), slight age gap (6ish years?), a slight size kink (if you squint?), etc.

Author’s Note: I wasn’t too sure what to write for the age gap so I hope this is good enough!!! I also threw in a lot of personal needs I’ve been having, so I hope y’all don’t mind! Feel free to let me know your thoughts!!!

~~~

*2nd Person POV*

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You were finally going to see your beloved childhood friend, Brahms Heelshire, again after close to ten years of separation. You wished this was not under these circumstances, as you never intended to cause your family such turmoil.

“Y/n! Come in, why don’t you?” Mr. Heelshire exclaims as he opens his front door. He must have seen you walk up their driveway. You can see Mrs. Heelshire inside, but she shares a concerning expression. Trying to brush it off, you step inside and am greeted by the warmth of the house. It was a terribly chilly winter day, and the walk there exhausted you.

“Come, dear! Let me get you a cup of tea to warm you up! You look rather frozen!” Mrs. Heelshire snaps out of her funk and laughs al0ng with her husband. Their jovial attitude makes you feel rather welcomed and loved.

“I cannot thank you enough, Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire… I… I’m terribly sorry that this all happened… especially so suddenly…” You look down with embarrassment.

“Nonsense! We’re always happy to have you, Y/n! Our home is yours!” Mr. Heelshire smiles at you, but you get a somewhat urgent vibe from him. You’re not sure how to feel about it, but you figure since they’re being ever so kind you were in no position to question.

“Now, dear… why don’t you tell us exactly what happened… Perhaps we may help with your parents’ situation?” Mrs. Heelshire gently suggests, but you shake your head in disagreement.

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure that’s possible… you see, I recently came out to my parents as non-binary… they’ve never been overly supportive of that kind of stuff, but I knew I couldn’t hide myself any longer…” You explain shamefully.

“Oh my… that is a rather difficult predicament, hm? However, we want you to know that we fully support you… in fact, our own Brahms considers himself genderfluid,” Mrs. Heelshire shares, which honestly makes you feel less alone.

“Really? I… I had no idea… Thank you, but speaking of which… where is Brahms…? Does he still live with you?” You wonder.

“Oh, um… yes… he does, but he’s grown to be rather… timid… so he doesn’t always come out when people are visiting…” Mr. Heelshire explains swiftly, and you try to understand. You don’t fully know what he’s been through, so who are you to judge his social anxieties?

“That’s alright. Well, I just hope he knows how excited I am to see him again…” You confess, causing a surprised reaction from the Heelshire couple.

“Really? Well, that’s certainly wonderful! I’m sure he'll become more open to meeting you after he gets used to you being in the house…” Mrs. Heelshire states with a gentle smile, and you nod your head in agreement.

With that, you are then taken on a tour of the house. You’re shown areas you can and cannot wander to, and you mentally note each location that’s off limits. You’d never want to make the Heelshires uncomfortable, despite how curious you were. They show you to your room, which you immediately recognize as Brahms’ childhood room.

“Oh wow! This looks exactly how I remembered it!” You giggle.

“I’m glad you’re fond of it still, as Brahms insisted you take his room for your own… comfort…” Mr. Heelshire shares, but something tells you he’s not entirely being honest. However, you ignore the feeling bubbling up in your stomach.

“Well, feel free to unpack your things dear. As we mentioned before, we are planning on going on a trip within the next few days. So it will be just you and Brahms for a while…” Mrs. Heelshire reminds you, and you shiver slightly for some reason.

“Oh, yes… Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it!” You politely respond.

~~~

“Goodbye, dear! And remember, follow the rules and you’ll get no trouble from our dear Brahms!” The Heelshires bid you farewell and leave in their cab. Closing the door, you sigh in relief.

“Alright, follow the rules… I can do that… it’s the least I can do since they were so kind as to let me stay for a while…” You motivate yourself.

“Y/n…” A sudden familiar, childlike voice echoes through the house. You looked around to see who it came from, but you saw no one. It had to be Brahms, right? Who else could it have been, but where was he?

“B-Brahms?” You sheepishly call out. You hear no answer and suddenly feel quite stupid. Maybe you just heard the shifting of the house or imagined someone was calling your name?

“Alright, focus… first things first, making some lunch… hopefully he’ll come down to eat with me…?” You hope. You could’ve sworn you heard another childish giggle somewhere, but you try to shake the skittish feeling building up. You quickly make whatever you feel like for lunch, desperate to finish so that you can call Brahms down to eat.

“Um, Brahms? I… lunch is done… if you want some?” You yell throughout the house, but you hear no answer. Finally feeling defeat, you turn back to the kitchen and notice that one of the plates of food has disappeared.

“How did he get to it without me noticing?” You ask out loud. Every instinct within you tells you that something was wrong, but you tried your best to give the man some time to adjust to the new living situation.

“Y/n…?” In the middle of eating, you hear a now more adult version of the voice you heard earlier. You drop your fork in surprise and frantically look around for the source. You then see a tall and scruffy looking man standing at the end of the dining room. He was holding the plate that is now empty, and you figure that must be Brahms. He was very odd looking, in all honesty. He wore a porcelain mask that resembles the type of little dollies you used to keep as a kid.

“Oh, um… h-hello, Brahms…?” You try to be friendly towards him, despite the creepy feeling you got from him already. However, him not answering causes the suspicion to form again.

“Um… did you enjoy the meal I made for you?” You try to spark a conversation, but Brahms nonverbally nods in response.

“That’s good! I’m… glad…” You smile awkwardly at him, but his masked face remains expressionless. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, and Brahms notices the tense state you’re in. He begins to step closer to you, and sets his plate on the table. Sweating profusely, you wonder what he’s doing. He steps closer and closer to you until he’s directly in front of you. While you sit, he towers over you. You’d never admit it, but he’s very intimidating. However, you try your best to be polite.

“Is… everything alright, Brahms?” You ask innocently. He just stares at you, though, never saying a word. When you were about to get up and try to walk away, he grabs your arm and pulls you into him.

“B-Brahms…?!” You exclaim as he squeezes you in his broad arms. He’s rather warm, but trembling. Your heart relaxes when you realize he only wanted a hug.

“Y/n… nice to see you again…” He finally peeps out. Your cheeks heat up, but you lean into the embrace. The two of you just hold onto each other for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Good to see you, too! I was worried you were upset with me for coming back after such a long time…” You try to pull away and look him in the eyes, but his grip keeps you there.

“Mm, no… not upset… lonely…” He breathes into your ear, sending a chill down your back. He was… lonely? That makes you feel bad… really bad… how could you leave him like you did after the incident?! It wasn’t completely your fault, as you parents were the main reason you stayed away. They told you what a dangerous person Brahms was, and they forbid you from being influenced by him in any way.

Additionally, your parents never liked how fond the two of you seemed towards each other, despite the slight age difference you had. Brahms was only six years older, and to you it didn’t matter for terms of friendship. However, your parents saw the attraction Brahms had towards you right away. As children, it only developed into a little crush, but the older the two of you got the more obvious it became, to the adults at least. You seemed quite oblivious to his attempts to woo you, as you had just thought he was being friendly.

“I…I’m sorry, Brahms… I should’ve… I wish I’d have… I’m sorry…” Tear well in your eyes as you look down from his gaze. Your focus then shifts to the ever growing bulge in his pants that you hadn’t noticed before.

“It’s alright… happy you’re here now…” Brahms strokes your hair with his free hand, and he leans into you. You feel him stroke your neck with his nose, seemingly trying to get a reaction out of you. Completely frozen, you felt unsure of what to do. All of the sudden, your head’s ideas clicked and made you realize the years of yearning he’d been doing for you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t still have feelings for the boy you grew up with. You always admired how protective he was of you. You never admitted your affection towards him, though, as you thought he might react negatively. To you, the age difference acted as a barrier, but to him, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest. All he’s ever known was his love for you, despite the age gap. However, is this still the same boy as before? You probably barely knew him anymore. Then why were you getting so flustered over this simple interaction?

“Brahms?” You look back into his eyes with a curious glint. What was he planning with you?

“Hm?” He nonchalantly answers.

“Are you…?” You start, but then feel too embarrassed to finish.

“Yes,” He agrees without needing you to explain. You feel him jerk his hips into your stomach softly, desperate to get some friction between the two of you. As intoxicating as he was being, you still felt unsure of your stance with him.

“I’m not sure I want to… I mean, this is so soon… don’t you think?” You try to reason mainly with yourself to try and stop this from happening. With that, Brahms stops and pulls away from you with a pout.

“No?” He questions with sweet eyes.

“I… yes…?” You try to stand your ground with yourself again, but it’s no use. Brahms’ heartfelt pleading turns you to putty in his hands.

“Please?” He begs. With that, you finally agree, and he’s onto you. Groping all up and down your sides, front, and back, he feels every inch of your body as if he’s desperate to find something in you.

“Brahms… wait…?” You stop him again, realizing you hadn’t seen his actual face yet. You politely ask him to remove his mask, but he visibly slumps.

“Why…? You… don’t want to see me…” Brahms insecurely explains, but you shake your head.

“I do! Please…?” You whine as he continues to feel up your back. Brahms hesitates slightly, then agrees. With that, he slowly removes the porcelain from himself. This leaves his bare, burnt, and uncertain face into your view. You’re unsure of what to say at first, as your feelings are conflicted. However, you quickly decide to go with what your heart felt.

“You’re so handsome, Brahms…” You confess with a sheepish smile. He doesn’t respond, though, almost as if he’s debating what to say as well.

“Mm!” You moan through a sudden kiss he placed on your lips, making Brahms smile to himself in the kiss. He loved the way you reacted to his touch. He quickly realized you were feeling the same towards him, and that gave him the confidence to continue. You rapidly grew a certain heat in your pelvic area, but the feeling was still unfamiliar to you. Only on the rare occasion did you allow yourself the pleasure, but you felt guilty for it every time.

“Slut… whore… useless daughter…” Your parents’ past words radiate in your head, and a panic washes over your body. Brahms senses your inner conflict again, and stops once more.

“Y/n…?” He gently asks to see if you’re alright. Tears well up in your eyes as the guilt of disappointing your parents consumes you.

“I’m sorry, I just… my mom and dad would be so upset… I just feel so… lost…” You admit, and Brahms wipes your cheeks with his calloused hands.

“Mm, screw them…” He chuckles darkly.

“But…” You try to argue, but he shushes you instead.

“They’ve never been good to you, Y/n…” Brahms shares, and it confuses you at first. They’ve always given you food, shelter, and anything else a child would need.

“But they… they mean well…” You try to reason it out, but he still disagrees.

“I’ve been watching, listening to how they treat you your whole life, Y/n… the way they scream at you, gaslight you, disappoint you… that’s not love… that’s abuse…” Brahms whispers with a broken heart for you. The pain of realization hits you, but you try to muffle your cries with your hands over your mouth.

“I’m so sorry… I know how hard it is… but I… I want to love you… really love you…” He kisses the top of your head sweetly. His words fill your heart with hope that you might not be miserable the rest of your life.

“Really…? I mean, I would love that… but I don’t want to force you into anything…” You self doubt yourself.

“Absolutely. I mean, hell… why do you think I was doing all of this?” Brahms wonders, and you suppose he’s right.

“Yeah, true… I’m sorry, I just feel bad… but thank you, I’d love to… y’know…?” You admit with a shy grin, which he immediately returns.

“Good,” He smirks and kisses you again. This time, the kiss was much more desperate for the sweet result. Brahms shows no mercy for you this time as he begins biting your lips. Your little gasps invoke a strong sense of pride within him. He was making you feel this way, and he alone would make you feel good.

“Hm,” His deep voice rumbles in his chest. Your eyes flutter open and shut, unsure of how to go about this situation. Squirming around awkwardly, you then feel Brahms grab your waist as he lifts you up and onto the table.

“Ah! Brahms...?!” You yelp in surprise.

“Take off your shirt, Y/n.” He demands, already sliding his hands underneath. You timidly follow his instructions, removing your shirt and bra from your body. Brahms looks down from your face and onto your breasts. He adored them, so he ran his hands over them as he gave each nipple a cheeky pinch.

“Oh, Brahms…” Your eyes close in bliss, but he snaps your attention back to his eyes.

“Look at me,” He suggests sternly.

“O-okay…” You do as he wishes and stare deep into his icy eyes. He’s tender and gentle, but he still makes you feel so small next to him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/n… I’ve always loved you…” Brahms brushes a stray lock of hair out of your face, giving him a better view at your beauty.

“I have loved you for the longest time, too, Brahms… I just never knew how to tell you…” You try your best to express your feelings, but your past experience with doing so has never been easy for you. Each emotion you shared ended in an argument with your parents.

“I’m so glad… please…” Brahms pleads, leaning his forehead against yours. He didn’t have to finish for you to understand what he wanted.

“C’mere…” Your sudden burst of trust hits the two of you like a train. Brahms roughly attacks your neck with his lips and teeth, nipping at all your sensitive areas. Exploring each and every inch, he scopes out which areas you like best.

“Mm, Y/n…” He whimpers, rubbing his needy cock against your body. You had neglected it for far too long, and you wanted to give it some love too.

Lowering your hand down to his member, you stroke him through his pants. Pre-cum leaks from his tip and soaks through his underwear slightly. His moans fill your ears with sweet misery. The lack of being inside of you was killing him, but he wanted to take things slow for you.

“Ah, Y/n…! Please! I’ll be a good boy!” He begs you to allow him entrance, and you agree. Instantaneously, he pulls his clothes off and prepares his painfully hard cock to slide into you.

“Oh! You feel… so tight…!” He didn’t tell you, but this was his first time as well. The first feeling of being inside of someone, especially when that someone is you, was the best feeling he’s ever felt. He couldn’t help himself but pump in and out of you. He tried his best to go slow, but his selfish excitement got the better of him. However, you were far from upset by this.

“Ah! D-don’t… stop…!” You plead with him, and he obliges. Slapping his body into yours in a rhythmic motion causes you to quickly feel that coil in your stomach tighten around him.

“F-fuck…! You’re gonna make me…!” As quickly as it started, your love making ended. The two of you came together simultaneously, and everything felt perfect to you. However, Brahms felt a wave of guilt.

“I… I’m sorry… I wish I had lasted longer… and I shouldn’t have pressured you into this…” He goes on and on about all the things he could’ve done better, but you then stop him with a chaste peck on his lips.

“You were perfect. Thank you,” You lovingly look into his eyes. He searches for any sort of regret, but when he finds none he settles into your arms.

~~~

MY REQUESTS FOR DRAWING AND WRITING ARE STILL OPEN!! FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ASK/MESSAGE WITH YOUR IDEA!!

690 notes · View notes

woniepop · 3 years

Text

Enhypen Getting their Wisdom Teeth Out!

Pairings: Enhypen x Female! Reader

Word Count: 0.6k

Genre: fluff

a/n: lol

༑ ࿐ྂ。Lee Heeseung

He’d know it’s you when you walk in

“come here and give me kissies pleaseeee”

hugs you so tight and doesn’t let go

“what do you mean you have to use the restroom? just pee here please”

you have to peel his arms off you and you come back to him faving a full on mental breakdown in the dentist’s office cause he thinks you died

“:0 I thought you jumped into a volcano and exploded”

even more clingy now

“I don’t want you to explode again”

if you tell him what he did when he’s conscious he’d deny so quickly

“no i did not, leave me alone”

THE REST ARE UNDER THE CUT!!

༑ ࿐ྂ。Jay Park

literally cries when he wakes up

“Where’s Y/nnnn”

thought you were a nurse

“WOAH don’t touch me only Y/n can do that.”

“I miss Y/n when is she gonna come back”

“Do you think Y/n will feed me jello now that you pulled all my teeth out, doctor?”

thinks he doesn’t have any teeth

“I DON’T HAVE TEETH Y/N ISN’T GONNA LOVE ME ANYMORE”

cries again lol

༑ ࿐ྂ。Jake Sim

would ask you where his wife was even though you guys aren’t married

When you walk in he goes “WOAHHHHH you look so much like my wife”

“I wish Y/n was here right now”

“You know when I proposed to her... wait when did i propose to her?” “you didn’t, jake”

“aw man, well then remind me to do it tomorrow. what’s your name by the way?”

you tell him your name

“NO WAY that’s just like my wife. you guys should become friends”

༑ ࿐ྂ。Park Sunghoon

You’d walk in and he’d be like “tf??? Who is this ugly girl”

“It’s me, Y/n” “No you ain’t, Y/n would never wear that ugly sweater. She only wears mine.”

🧍‍♀️that ugly what

Roasts you the whole time

“I can’t believe my girlfriend sent her pet to come get me”

“What’s 9 + 10??? I bet you think it’s 19 huh”

tries to trip you but fails horribly

Laughs anyway

“If you were really Y/n, you wouldn’t have let the dentist steal my teeth”

You recorded the whole thing and showed it to him when he was conscious and he went “deserved” 🤧🤧 what do you mean deserved

༑ ࿐ྂ。Kim Sunoo

I feel like sunoo would also not know that you were y/n

Highkey judging you from the moment you walk through the door

eyes you from across the room with disgust

Very brief sentences

“Who sent you here”

“Where’s y/n”

“Don’t touch me”

“Get the nurse, I don’t want you”

I feel like he’d throw food in your face

And when you tell him about all this he feels so guilty and showers you with lots of cuddles and kissies!!!!

༑ ࿐ྂ。Yang Jungwon

another person who would also know who you were

“When is Y/n coming?” “Jungwon, I’m here.” “Oh...”

Does not have any personal space

will literally press his whole body onto you like he needs to glued to you

every step you take he copies even though he’s literally slumped on top of you

sits so patiently in the car

hands together in his lap, sitting up, staring out the window

“Do you think we can get McDonald’s, Y/n?” “Sure” “Okay... Can we get McDonald’s too?” “Yes, Jungwon”

༑ ࿐ྂ。Nishimura Riki

He’d definitely know who you were

“Y/NNNNNN GIVE ME A KISS MUAH”

“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIPS”

“Y/n how dare they! Nonconsensual botox... they gave me”

“Y/n don’t kiss me, your lips might explode too”

tears up a bit

“i want a kiss so bad but i don’t want your lips to blow up”

breathes heavily

“huhhhhhhhh kissiesssss”

810 notes · View notes

foilfreak · 3 years

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4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

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alltooreid · 3 years

Text

Invisible String

Although Spencer Reid and the Reader don’t find themselves in a romance with each other until well into their adulthood, their relationship has been decades in the making. Almost as if something as been pulling them together all these years.

A/N: sorry for such a long wait but i’ve been struggling a lot mentally as of late. i hope you guys enjoy this one shot!! As always requests are open and heavily encouraged!! And of course this is inspired by the taylor swift song of the same name :)) Also keep in mind although the following scenes are heavily inspired by some scenes in Criminal Minds, elements of them have been slightly altered to fit in Y/N as a character.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Type: a cute strangers to lovers fluff fic!

Word Count: 3.9K

Content Warnings: typical criminal minds case discussion, mentions of child trafficking when discussing this case, but no real detail. slight spoilers for season eight (beginning maeve stuff) and tiny spoilers for season fifteen (briefly mentions max but nothing really important to the plot at all)

“Time, curious time Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs Were there clues I didn't see?”

You had met Spencer Reid 3 times before you had really met him.

It was almost silly to think about it now. Now that you and Spencer have been dating for 3 years, it was strange to believe there were so many chances for you two to meet years earlier.

When you were sixteen years old, you got your first part time job. You worked at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop called Iced Dreams. You hated it so much. Your manager was a total creep, your older coworkers were rude and condescending to you, since you were one of the youngest people working there, but most of all you hated the uniforms.

Consisting of a very stupid looking hat, bright pink with randomly embrodiered teal patterns, an outdated bright teal shirt, it had been given to you from a dirty bin in the back, and judging by the sewn in shoulder pads, it had to be at least a couple decades old.

So one day, you didn’t wear the hat.

It wasn’t entirely purposeful. You couldn’t find it, you searched your room, you searched your car, so eventually you had to leave without it to prevent being late. Still, as you clocked it and passed the box of extras in the office something made you decide to leave it alone.

You were about 8 minutes into your shift when your manager approached you. “Y/N? Where’s your hat sweetheart?” You hated this man so much. You had gone to your parents time and time again, recounting his creepy behavior towards you and the other teenage girls who you worked with, but they refused to let you quit.

When you had started working there, he used to enforce this ridiculous rule that all the female workers had to wear skirts as part of their uniform, but you had gathered all the sixteen and seventeen year olds who worked there and all threatened to quit if he didn’t change the policy. So you were no stranger to breaking and defying the rules.

“Yeah I couldn’t find it, sorry.” you shrugged.

He chuckled and reached his hat out to touch your face. You jerked back, you almost wanted to refuse to wear one of the stupid extra hats just so that you could get fired.

“Well, Y/N its policy sweetie. No matter how special you are to me you still need to wear the hat. There’s extras in the office.”

“No way I’m wearing one of those. I bet they have like lice or something.”

He pursed his lips and sighed “Well I suppose that beautiful hair is just too pretty to wear a used hat huh. . . What do you suggest? If you’re working you have to wear it.”

You laughed, “Well you could let me go home.”

He paused, “Why don’t you go sit in the office, I’ll come talk to you in a minute.”

So you did, for about 10 minutes you sat in the office, surrounded by frozen yogurt flavor marking posters and boxes of old uniforms, and each passing minute you feared for the worst. Maybe you were actually getting fired? You really didn’t want to go that far, because, as much as you hated it, you really needed this job.

When your manager finally came to talk to you he held a small salted caramel frozen yogurt, your personal favorite flavor, and a twenty dollar bill. He handed them both to you.

“You seem so stressed Y/N, why don’t you take the day and go get lunch. My treat,” he said, smiling that weird twisted smile that always made your full body shiver.

However you were broke as hell, and no teenager in their right mind would ever pass up free food, so you took it, grabbed your keys and started to leave

Yet as soon as you walked out the back door you dropped your frozen yogurt, cup fully upside down, onto the pavement. You cursed, you hadn’t even taken a bite of it yet, and it looked like he had put coconut flakes on it, and you loved coconut. Still, you had your twenty bucks, and that was a pretty sweet pay out considering you were only clocked in for about 20 minutes.

So you got Chinese food, and spent what was supposed to be your shift in the shopping mall across town, completely and blissfully unaware of the fact the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI was dragging your manager away in handcuffs.

➽───────────────❥

Young Spencer Reid had only joined the FBI about a month ago. Despite being a genius, and providing crucial information to the solving of cases, he was aware of the most obvious. He was only twenty two years old, and he was scrawny as hell.

He felt this intense need to prove himself, especially to make Gideon proud.

So when they got a case about a the kidnapping and sex trafficking of teenage girls, he saw it as something he could really involve himself in. Based on the profile, it wasn’t going to be a large, strong, confident unsub who Morgan needed to tackle. This man would be ugly sure, but he would be a manipulative mastermind. Reid could work with that, he could prove himself.

He surprised everyone with his sheer work ethic and determination to find this man, and through consistently revising and delivering the profile soon enough they got a hit. A young woman in her early twenties called the tipline and reported her own manager. Insisting he fit the profile perfectly, and described how strangely he treated the minors who worked there, and how he almost exclusively hired young girls, treated them great and then switched as soon as they became legal.

So Garcia did her magically digging, and soon enough the FBI was tearing up a frozen yogurt shop, looking for any evidence of pedophilia. Garcia was even brought along, as she was pivotal to discovering any secret files in his computer.

At first, all they could find were strange compilation videos and under employees skirts. Spencer, and the rest of the team, were struggling to connect how he could get so many videos from an angle like this without anyone noticing or reporting him, until Gideon uncovered an old dusty pair of shoes, in which the right one held a small camera at the toe.

Although this was absolutely disgusting, it wasn’t enough to prove he was running the ring or kidnapping the girls, so Garcia kept digging. Meanwhile, Spencer tried to make himself useful by checking out the back of the store.

That’s where he found your clock-out receipt.

“Hey guys, we might want to take a look at this,” he shouted out.

Morgan grabbed the paper from his hand, “Ok, I don’t get it kid, it’s trash.”

Spencer pointed to the details on the slip, “Yeah but it says here she clocked out 18 minutes ago after only working for 23 minutes and 46 seconds. If this guy is our unsub, this girl could be in a lot of trouble.”

“Maybe she’s still here, has anyone checked out the parking lot yet?”

Spencer shook his head, and followed Morgan out the back door. There they discovered some almost completely melted salted caramel frozen yogurt.

Morgan bent down to investigate, “Yeah, we gotta get this to the lab, but I can tell you right now that there’s clearly more than just coconut topping this yogurt. It also means we have another victim.”

Spencer crouched down as well, “Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean kid? We’re missing a teenage girl and we’ve already found illegal evidence on this guy's computer. She’s in trouble.”

“Well judging the shape and inscription of these pills it appears to be some pretty strong rohypnol, almost certainly prescription grade. And ingesting it like this means she probably would have begun to feel its effects fairly early, I would predict 15 minutes. She clocked out 18 minutes ago, so even if she left exactly at that time she would have certainly crashed her car on the way home. The nearest residence is 8 minutes away from here, we’re in a complete shopping district. There’s only two cars out here and neither have a passed out driver, so I would bet she didn’t eat any of it. Also, the only spoon out here is still wrapped in plastic, “ Spencer analyzed.

Morgan sighed, “Well what do we even do then?”

Before Spencer could answer Hotch opened the back door. “We got him.”

Spencer turned to Morgan, “I’m sure her phone number is somewhere inside, I say we call her and make sure she’s ok. She probably doesn’t even know this is happening right now.”

So he did find your phone number, and although he initially pushed the phone to Morgan, he just chuckled and pushed it back.

“No way pretty boy. You’re the know-it-all with all that profiling out there, you can call her,” and before he could protest Morgan left, so Spencer was left to call you.

And strangely, for it being the first time he would ever interact with the love of his life, he thought nothing of it.

And that was the first time you had met Spencer Reid.

➽───────────────❥

The second time was years and years later, when you were waitressing night shifts to make extra money. You had never forgotten meeting Spencer Reid the first time, but this was the first time you would ever see his face.

You were slightly concerned when you got a call from a man, whose name you had now long forgotten, claiming he worked for the FBI. Although you weren’t incredibly surprised to hear your manager committed such heinous crimes against children, you were taken aback by how close you had come to becoming one of his victims.

But that was 9 years ago. In your college days it became a fun story you told at frat parties, but you were 25 now. Sometimes you would think about the incident when you couldn’t sleep, and if you were feeling feisty you would use it as an icebreaker or a “two truths, one lie” statement, but otherwise you didn’t really think about it.

You had plenty of other things to worry about, in fact, that’s exactly why you worked so much. It was so much easier to forget when you were constantly preoccupied with complaining customers and terribly awkward blind dates.

You had just sat this man, incredibly handsome, however it was clear he was on some kind of date. His reservation was for two, and he spent way too much time adjusting his clothes and table setting for him to not be trying to impress someone special. He also brought a gift, which judging by the packaging and shape, seemed to be some kind of wrapped book.

Even though he was 15 minutes early for his own reservation, he still looked really nervous, almost like he already believed she might not show up. You couldn’t help yourself, you had to go talk to him.

“Anyone ever tell you you should model?” you started with.

He looked up “Excuse me?”

“Sorry for being so bold, you just look so familiar,” he weirdly sounded very familiar as well, but you didn’t tell him that. “Are you sure you haven’t modeled? You have excellent bone structure. I bet you could.”

He laughed to himself, “yeah I’m sure.”

“Well your date is very lucky either way. I wish I had a boyfriend as handsome as you. Actually I wish I had a boyfriend period, but that’s a whole other story.”

He chuckled, and although you knew in your heart that you shouldn’t be flirting with him considering he was 15 minutes away from being actively on a date talking to him made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. “What happened with your boyfriend? Do I even dare ask?”

“Well I kind of always knew he wasn’t super interested in me, but I really liked him, so I did my best to ignore his wandering eyes,” you sighed. “That didn’t stop him from leaving me for his coworker though.”

“That’s terrible.”

You smirked, “That’s not even the worst part, he broke up with me over a 27 second phone call. He didn’t even let me respond, he just kind of hung up.”

“I’m sorry, no one deserves that. Especially not you. I’ve only been talking to you for a couple minutes and I can tell that.”

“Oh really? What makes you so sure?”

“I’m pretty good at reading people.”

You smiled, “Well I should probably stop flirting with you now, considering your date hasn’t even started yet. And don’t worry, she’ll show, you’re so handsome she’d be stupid not to.”

He looked confused. “You were flirting with me?”

You laughed, “I thought you were good at reading people?”

He smiled back at you, and it made your heart soar, this silly, pure goofy smile that made you want to replace his date and have dinner with him right then and there.

You walked back to your hostess stand. A couple minutes later you noticed the handsome stranger on the phone. You thought nothing of it until later when a woman came in, clearly nervous, holding a gift bag.

“Can you give this to Spencer Reid for me please?” You recognized the name, the man you were just speaking with had filed his reservation under it.

“Um, yeah sure, aren’t you going to go in? He’s at that table over the-” but before you could finish your sentence the woman was gone. Your heart sank, poor Spencer, how could someone drop their date off a gift but stand them up anyway? That’s just cold.

When you get up to bring the gift to him, he’s already heading out of the restaurant himself.

“Sir? Spencer? Dr. Reid?” he turned his head. “A lady came in and dropped this off for you.”

His face dropped, it almost looked like he was about to cry. “Thank you,” he said as he looked up at you before leaving.

He ran out the door, both gifts in hand and whipped his head around a few times before sighing and speeding off in one direction. Even before you learned what happened after that and leading up to it, you felt terrible for the handsome stranger.

How could you not for someone so clearly distressed? Someone so clearly in love?

➽───────────────❥

7 years and a divorce later you were spending your Saturday in a park, strangely contemplating love itself. Although you barely remember that night all those years ago when you spoke to Spencer, he did. Vividly. In fact, on this Saturday you both were in a public park, contemplating your many failed attempts at true love.

It was your first wedding anniversary without your husband. Although you had only been married for two years, you still were having a hard time navigating life without him.

You started to wonder if you would ever find the true love you had been wishing for since your youth. Was 32 too late? Had you lived out all of your opportunities?

When you were little your mother had told you that all soulmates were attached at the left ring fingers, by small, incredibly thin strands of gold string, invisible to the naked eye. She insisted that these strings were constantly trying to pull you and your soulmate together, and that when life was ready for you two to meet, you would.

Until then, you would have small, mindless interactions. Things you wouldn’t think about, maybe even things that weren’t interactions at all. You would get the same commercial jingle stuck in your head. You would both get an intense craving for the same food. You’d have the same dream.

As a kid you were obsessed with this idea, you thought it was so romantic, and you fully believed everything your mom told you about it. You always asked her for more stories, and at bedtime you refused to sleep unless she would tell you more.

But now you were sure soulmates, true love even, didn’t exist. The invisible pretty gold strings your mother weaved fantastic stories with were completely fabricated. If they weren’t, you would have seen the clues by now.

Right?

➽───────────────❥

Spencer Reid was given an assignment from his therapist. He had to spend his Saturday off trying to interact with a stranger. Making friends with someone other than his colleagues may seem like a simple task for some, but it was something the young genius had almost no experience with.

He understood that it was probably for the best. He wasn’t exactly great with relationships of any kind, but especially not romantic ones. It didn’t take a genius to know that a couple of flirtations, a dead girlfriend he had only seen once, and a long time unrequited (or at least he thought unrequited) infatuation with his best friend and godsons’ mother was not a very great track record.

He, just like you, was also beginning to believe that he was hopeless when it came to love. That 38 was too old, that his time to meet someone and have the children he dreamed of had long passed.

But right as he was about to call JJ, to see if she would invite him in on the case Garcia had started to work on, he saw you.

Unlike you, he remembered your face and your interaction vividly. That almost date with Maeve was one of the biggest defining moments of his life, and what are the chances that the waitress from that very night was now less than 30 feet away from him, reading under the green leaves of a tree.

He wasn’t going to say anything, until he saw the book you were reading.

The Narrative of John Smith.

It must have been a sign, for what he wasn’t exactly sure yet, but it just had to mean something. The universe had to be reaching out to him, he had experienced crazier things.

And just as he was about to walk over to you, to close the gap between the gold strings tied around your ring fingers, a child interrupted his train of thought.

“That’s a strange haircut.”

➽───────────────❥

Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid were finally reuniting after many years. They barely got to see each other these days, but even though he was teaching and working at the BAU, Spencer still was willing to clear his schedule to second Derek suggested they meet up.

Morgan was excited as well, both to see his friend and to hopefully help him get a date. Sure, he had liked what he had heard about Max, but he wasn’t exactly surprised it had only lasted a couple months between her and Spencer. They just seemed too different.

Plus, now he got the chance to play wingman again, and he was ecstatic about that. Spencer not so much.

“I don’t know Morgan, it’s only been a couple months since we broke up. Wouldn’t it be too early to start talking to other people?”

“Pretty boy, you and I both know that the rate in which you’ve had relationships is not even close to the average. You need to balance that out somehow.”

Spencer sighed, he knew Derek was right, but he still felt strange.

“Morgan, have you ever heard of the red string of fate?”

“No, but I’m sure I’m about to hear all about it.”

“It’s an East Asian philosophy, based on the discovery that the ulnar artery connects the heart with the pinky finger, actually that’s where the belief in pinky promises come from. The reason it’s integrated in so many different cultures is that-”

“Kid, you’re losing me here,” Morgan interrupted. “Finish your thing about the string.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. It’s the idea that human relations are predestined by a red string that the gods tie to the pinky fingers of those who find each other in life. Legend has it that the two people connected by this thread will have an important story, regardless of the time, place or circumstances. The red string might get tangled, contracted or stretched, as surely often happens, but it can never break. Essentially, the idea is that although we might not realize it, our lives move in a pre-ordained direction, guided by invisible strings that are woven into the fabric of the Universe itself. And all the while, the red thread connecting us to our distant soulmates is getting shorter.”

“Well it’s an interesting theory kid, but it’s a lot to think about. I mean, we’re in a bar, let loose a little bit. Not every interaction has to be about getting closer to your soulmate. And sure, maybe you’ll meet them one day, maybe even soon. But you’re here now, and just because your one true love may not be, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it to be here.”

Spencer sighed, “You’re right. I don’t even know if I believe in that anyway, maybe I’m just looking for something to explain this all.

Derek patted his friend on the shoulder, “okay pretty ricky, this is how it’s about to go down. I’m going to buy you two drinks. You’re going to take both of them, and go find someone, anyone here to go talk to.”

“Ok, I think I can do that. Who?”

Derek looked around, trying to find who he believed would be the best match for his friend. “How about her?” he asked, pointing at you.

Spencer couldn’t believe it when he looked. There you were, the girl, the one he had met three times before, even if he could only remember two. The woman he knew was some sort of universe sent sign that Saturday he saw you underneath the greenery. The girl he was so close to talking to before he was interrupted by Max’s nephew. The woman who (and he obviously did not know this at the time) he would marry 3 years later. The one who would carefully knit the baby blankets for all of their friends and exes. The one who he would adopt 3 children with. The woman who, he was now sure, was at the other end of his invisible string. The girl he needed to talk to right now.

“Is it just me,” Morgan said, “Or does she look kind of familiar?”

“Yes,” Spencer responded, “yes she does.” He got up quickly and started making strides towards you.

“Wait!” Morgan called, “You forgot your drinks!”

“I don’t need them!” he shouted back. When he sat down next to you, you smiled. It made his heart soar, you had this silly, pure goofy smile that made him want to ask you out right then and there.

Instead he settled on the only conversation starter he could think of.

“Have you ever heard of the invisible string story?”

And you couldn’t help but laugh.

“A string that pulled me Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons One single thread of gold tied me to you”

- Thank you for reading! Please reblog and let me know what you think :))

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