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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Note

Hello! First of all I have to say that your writing is the best I have read so far and you have a way with words that has me going crazy at 3 am 🤣🤣 I wanted to suggest a short story where Levi and the reader have feelings for each other and are on a mission together. Then it starts to rain and it gets really cold at night so they’re forced to seek shelter and have to spend the night together in an abandoned old house until the rain stops, and they basically get to know each other better and eventually start flirting ya know ya know? 😗Thank you so much and please feel free to add any more ideas you may have 😁

ahhh the classic, stuck with a stranger trope. I dig it :)

Summary: You spend a rainy night with your bitter captain

Word Count: 1.8K

The rain felt like needles as you rode into the wind, your cloak felt heavy and waterlogged as you struggled to see through the shower. You had lost your squad, leaving you alone in the middle of titan country. Your gear felt light, meaning that your blades were nearly gone and gas as well. In other words, you were royally fucked.

Your horse was huffing, sides rising and falling deeply as she tried to hold the pace you had set. Her head bobbed and you threaded your fingers through her mane and stood on the saddle to ease the weight on her back, and allow her to resume her natural gait.

Just as you emerged from the thin thicket of trees you had been riding in, you spotted a small cabin, and a black horse tied up out front. You recognized Captain Levi’s stallion and felt relief flood through you. You steered your mare towards the squat building and swung off once she came to a halt. Tying her up next to Levi’s stallion before jogging up the stairs. You lifted your hand and pounded on the door, a flash of lightning illuminated your form when Levi pulled the door open. His hair was dripping wet as was his clothes.

“Cadet (L/n), surprised you made it this far.” He scoffed before turning and stalking back into the cabin.

“Captain....the formation is broken.” You stated the obvious, unsure of how to respond to his jab.

“No shit, this damn rain fucks with the signals. Seen it before.” You almost weren’t sure if he even said the last part since he muttered it so quietly.

“So what do we do?” You asked, clutching your cloak anxiously.

“We wait it out idiot.” Levi grunted as he began rummaging around the small cabin’s kitchen drawers.

“What...about the formation?”

“The formation doesn’t exist anymore, what matters now is getting back to the wall.”

You remained silent, stunned by the gravity of the situation you’d found yourself in.

“Shitty eyebrows needs to stop putting the fucking formation on a pedestal, you brats need to learn how to act at your own discretion.” Levi continued as he pawed through a drawer, he pulled his hand out holding two stones. Flint, to be precise, he had already taken some of the firewood that had been sitting in the cabin and chucked it into the fireplace. You wondered how long it had sat there in the lonely cabin, who had gathered it? A child maybe? When you were younger, you had lived on a farm with your family, raising horses for the military. One of your many jobs had been to get firewood. You wondered what had happened to the people who lived here before, wondered if they could ever return.

“Oi, take off those boots. Just because nobody’s lived here in three years doesn’t mean you get to track mud inside.” He scolded and you quickly stripped yourself of your mud caked boots.

“Yes sir.” You grumbled as you numbly wandered into the kitchen, pausing when you found a small corn husk doll, very similar to the ones you once made. You picked it up, cradling its head as you held it up in the dim light. The sound of stones clicking and then the crackle of a small fire brought you back. You turned to see Levi hanging his cloak and jacket by the flames.

“Take off your cloak and jacket.” He ordered and you placed the doll down to fulfill his command. You shivered in just your shirt, which was soaked, the olive colored fabric nearly see through due to the wetness. Levi averted his eyes as he snatched your jacket and cloak from you. You dropped down to sit on the floor near the fire, staring into the flames as you allowed your mind to wander. Levi sat down as well, crossing his legs and closing his eyes as he tried to even out his breathing. The only sound was the crackling fire and the patter of rain on the old roof. You had nearly forgotten how it sounded, having lived in the castle for years now, the cozy cabin brought you back to your childhood. And before you could think better of it, you asked:

“Where are you from captain?”

“None of your concern.” He grunted, eyes still closed and face lacking any signs of emotion.

“Well, where I’m from, when it rained like this...we’d go outside and-”

“I didn’t fucking ask. Now shut up and go to sleep or something.”

“There’s no need to be so bitter Captain.” You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest and angling your shoulders away from him, the sting of his words. You sighed heavily and fell flat on your back, staring up at the rafters, a drop of water seeped through and landed right on your nose and you let out a huff of disgust.

“....Look” Levi’s voice was heavy and less annoyed than previously.

“If talking...makes you feel better about all of this....then I guess I don’t mind listening.” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye, bangs obscuring the top half of his face as he studied you, splayed out on the floor.

“....Thanks.”

“As I was saying, when I was younger, I used to be scared of thunder storms. But my grandma, she would make this cake. She called it thunder cake.” You closed your eyes and a dreamy smile curled onto your lips. Levi felt a pang of jealousy, being nearly 28, one would think that he could get over his childhood. But he just couldn’t seem to, he wished he grew up in the sunshine, known his family, gotten to be scared of thunder instead of men in the underground.

“-it wasn’t really anything special, just a lemon cake. But making it during the storm...she said it was magic, and you know.....I believed her.” Your voice cracked and Levi frowned, he remembered that naivety, how his mother would tell him about fairies or goblins. He had believed those stories for a time as well. But when she had died, he no longer saw beauty in the world. How could he?

“She was so smart Captain. She knew everything, how to treat a tooth ache, how to make the best bread, break a horse. I wish I could be half as wise as her.” You continued, Levi turned to look at you, your usually bright eyes seemed distant and foggy, mouth screwed into a frown, your bottom lip trembling.

“When she died, I felt so alone. I couldn’t compare, how could I? She was so strong and, I was just a shitty kid.” You scoffed bitterly, Levi understood your pain deeply, loosing people was something he was all too familiar with. He blindly reached out and let his hand awkwardly fall over your own. You froze, head turning to look at him.

“How about you? What did your...parent do to help you through the scary parts?” You asked, eyes wide and hopeful. Levi’s jaw locked as he tried to wrack his brain for something to say, you had just been so vulnerable with him. How could he not repay the favor? Especially if the two of you would die in this shitty cabin.

“She would....give me a bath, or we’d clean the house.” He said with a curt nod, remembering his mother pouring soapy water over him after he had scrapped his knee, or cried so hard that his eyes were nearly swollen shut. Yes, that was the truth, they would take a bath and then she’d tell him those shitty stories.

“That sounds nice.” You said wistfully as you turned your hand to lace your fingers with his. You sensed his tension and decided to carry on telling your own story.

“I hated cleaning, my grandma used it as punishment for me. Like when I was 10 I threw eggs at the neighbor boy after he lifted my skirt up.” You chuckled lowly at the memory.

“Sounds like he deserved it.” Levi said with the smallest of smiles. You beamed up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, he sure did. My grandma made me clean the coop for two weeks after that, and the stables.” You giggled, squeezing his hand as you laughed. He felt another wave of jealousy, wishing he had memories like yours.

“And you? Did you ever get in trouble?” You asked, rolling onto your side, pulling your hand free from his, he immediately missed the contact, not that he would admit it though.

“That’s all I did when I was younger.” Levi scoffed, looking down at you with a gleam of amusement in his gaze.

“What kind of trouble?” You pressed, resting your chin on your palm as you stared up at him.

“I bet it was with girls, you seem to be popular with the cadets.” You teased and Levi’s nose wrinkled in disgust.

“No, more like I was stealing and selling government property illegally.” He scoffed, reaching his hand down to ruffle your damp hair, you let out a bark of laughter as he grabbed the roots of your hair and shook your head playfully.

“Yeah right, you’re the strictest of all the squad leaders, as if I would believe-”

“I grew up in the underground, didn’t matter down there, just did what I had to do to put food on the table.” He shrugged, trying to keep the atmosphere light, yet stay honest with you.

“No way....that’s impressive captain-”

“Levi, call me Levi.” He said, withdrawing his hand and leaning back against the couch that was behind the two of you.

“Okay then...Levi, I call bullshit.” You said, propping yourself up on your elbow and beaming up at him. Levi glared down at you, not sure if he liked the defiance or loathed it. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed, but your eyes never strayed from his and he let out a scoff.

“It’s true, I was born a bastard and escaped through the military.” You raised your brows at this, you hadn’t expected him to be honest.

“I...admire you for that, takes a strong person to overcome things like that.” You said a tad sheepishly as you averted your gaze, feeling like you had overstepped some boundaries.

“We all face our own challenges..” Levi muttered, eyes still locked on you.

“That is true.” You agreed, with a small smile thrown his way. The rain still pounded against the windows and your gaze strayed to them, watching the water stream off of the roof.

“This will all be a bad memory in the morning.” Levi said, following your gaze, he recalled how you said you’d been afraid of thunder when you were younger. He wondered if you still harbored that fear.

“I don’t think it will, I hope I can look back on it fondly.” You said, turning and smiling softly up at him, and Levi’s stomach began doing flips, his cheeks flushing at the sentiment behind your words.

“Yeah....whatever, just go to sleep brat.” He grunted, reaching down and ruffling your hair once more, you giggled and laid down, soothed to sleep by the feeling of his hand in your hair and the sound of rain on window panes.

#levi #Levi fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi attack on titan #levi x reader #Levi x You #levi x y/n #levi x reader insert #reader insert #levi is soft for u #rainy night #aot fandom #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman #attack on titan

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vanilla-vivillon · 3 years

Text

Happy Wesper Week! We are doing a Wylan POV because I can’t write charm at all. This is a modern AU bachelor party. The grisha powers exist but everything else is made into there real life equivalent

TW very brief mentions of sex trafficking.

What am I doing here? Wylan thought to himself

When his boyfriend Jesper insisted on throwing there good friend Matthias a bachelor party Wylan thought maybe they would go to a nice bar or play some party games

Not get crazy drunk, Not set fire to the Dutch Garden, not get chased by cops, not perform a gas station heist and not catch one of his best friends making out with a gas station cashier

However it seemed the universe didn’t care for the thoughts of little ole Wylan Hendricks

“Let’s get this party started!” The Australian yelled

Wylan had to remindhimself he loved his boyfriend Jesper

“Can you not shout?” Matthias, the groom to be, begged

Wylan, Jesper, and there friends Kaz and Kuwei were throwing a bachelor party for Matthias

It took a lot to convince the Norwegian that this was indeed a great idea

Wylan had never been to a bachelor party before but he was excited for his boyfriend who adored them

“Do we really have to go to this bar Jesper?” Kaz groaned seeing the crazy bright neon sign

After years of knowing Kaz Brekker Wylan could tell that Kaz was cursing Inej for telling him to come

Nevertheless the boys all walk in and start ordering shots

“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” The boys chanted egging on Kaz and Matthias drinking contest

Well it was mostly Jesper and Kuwei chanting Wylan after having a couple drinks was staring at the twinkle in Jespers eyes

He really was beautiful Wylan thought to himself

Wylan attended the University of Amsterdam to mostly escape his father.

There he met his lifelong friends

Matthias a grumpy international exchange student who grew up in a very prominent and dangerous cult in Norway. He wants to be a Norwegian ambassador

Nina Zenik, a heartrender turned corpse witch who was actually a russian spy back in the day. Now she’s working to become an ambassador

Inej Ghafa, she started a non profit to help stop sex trafficking whitch takes her all over the World but she used to. be an acrobat and after that worked with Kaz as his spy

Kaz Brekker, someone who Wylan after years of knowing him isn’t quite sure if there truly friends, or the semi illegal activities he gets up to. Wylan thought his hacking days would be done after University but Kaz has built an online criminal empire

Kuwei Yul Bo a scientists apprentice from China. He was currently working on his masters degree along side Wylan.

And Jesper. How to describe Jesper Fahey. He was an exchange student from Australia. A fabricator with a gift with Guns. While Jesper loved his pistols he actually works for a nonprofit dedicated to gun safety and regulation

After a highly illegal heist on there trip to Norway during college they all bonded as a group

Especially Wylan and Jesper

Jesper with that twinkle

Jesper with that laugh

Jesper with the way he looked at him now

After many more drinks Kuwei had the idea of the century

“Yooooooo y’know what’s a good idea?” Kuwei said bringing his head up from where it was previously glued to the table

“More shhhhhhhhhots?” Jesper suggested clearly as drunk as Wylan

“A couple blocks away is The Dutch Garden, wanna see some prrrrrrrrrrretty flowers?”

Fun fact this is a real place in Amsterdam

Wylan turned towards Kaz expecting him to veto it then and there but to Wylans shock and horror Kaz said “Hell yeah”

“But, but, it’s super late it’s gonna be closed!” Matthias spluttered out

“We can sneak in from the back fence” Jesper said

When Jesper drank his Australian accent whitch had soften over the years of living in Amsterdam came through in all of its glory

When Wylan first met Jesper he thought he was completely out of his league

And that damn accent drove Wylan Insane

While Wylan was contemplating the wonder that was Jesper Llewelyn Fahey it seemed the group made a decision without him

And Wylan thought for the first time in this bachelor party

What am I doing here?

“C’mon Wylan just climb!” Kuwei whisper screamed at Wylan

The drunken lads had made it to the Garden and had found an area where there was a fence they could climb with relative ease

All of the others made it to the other side

Except Wylan

“Don’t you want to seeeeeee the flowwwwwwwers?” Kaz insisted

If Wylan needed any more proof he was the soberest man out of all of them Kaz saying the word ‘pretty’ that isn’t referencing Inej was a clear sign

“Baby pleeeeease” Jesper begged

Oh no

Not that face

Wylan thought of himself as a sensible person who doesn’t succumb to pressure easily

But when his boyfriend made that face

Where his cool grey eyes went big

And his face had a slight flush to it

Wylan

Broke

“Fine! But if we get arrested it’s on you guys!”

With the ease of a spider who’s leg got chopped off by a middle aged housewife who’s husband is cheating on her climbing up a wall Wylan somehow got across

It wasn’t pretty

And it wasn’t gonna make Kaz proud

But it was completed

Panting Wylan on the ground said “I think this is my biggest accomplishment”

“Not…. Putting away your father? Or growing past your Internalised homophobia? Or writing your first essay on your own?” Matthias suggested clearly bewildered

Hey so i know Wylan can’t actually read. But seeing as this is modern day and plenty of dyslexic people can read with help, I figured that Jan would refuse to take Wylan to a doctor or get him help with his dyslexia believing it was weak making Wylan unable to read. Buuuuut when he’s older it makes sense to me he does learn. I’m not trying to invalidate his experiences or “fix” him but for the sake of a modern AU I had to change some things.

“Nope. It’s climbing this fence” Wylan laughed as Jesper helped him up

“Everyday you remind why your my favorite human” Jesper said with a laugh

“Ewwwww it’s like you guys like to remind how I’m the only single one” Kuwei said with a throwing up motion

“Thanks Jesp- wait human?” Wylan asked confused

“Well my favorite thing is Milo of course” Jesper winked

“The- the goat in Russia?” Kaz inquired not quite wanting to believe what Jesper was saying

To Wylans knowledge Kaz, Inej and Jesper did some job in Russia before he ever met them

“Why of course” Jesper slung an arm around Wylan who was not quite sure how to feel about this goat

Kaz went to go look at some purple flowers and contemplate his life choices

“Oh my god guys…….” Matthias started “the flowers! They’re- they’re”

“Cmon Matty, share with the class” Kaz said apparently bored with the purple flowers

“They’re so preeeeeeeetty” Matthias eyes welled up with tears

“Oh Saints tell me he’s not crying” Kuwei Moaned

Jesper walked over to where Matthias was stroking a hydrangea

“They are soooooooo pretty” Jespers eyes also Welled up with tears

“Fuck this shit” Kuwei said taking out a lighter and cigarette

“Hey! Smoking is very bad for you Kuwei!” Wylan lectured

“Wylan. I’m an inferni. Smoking foesnt affect us” Kuwei rolled his golden brown eyes

“Yeah but we’re in a highly flammable garden! And the rest of us aren’t inferni!” Wylan said

It seemed during Kuwei and Wylans arguement Kaz had also joined the cult of flowers that Matthias and Jesper were fixated on

“Wylan stop smoke shaming me!” And the scientists went back and fourth

“KUWEI YOU PIECE OF-“ Wylan started then sniffed the air “is that, is that smoke?” Wylan asked

“Holy shit dudes there’s a fire!” Kaz yelled pointing at where the cigarette Kuwei droppped

It seemed that the cigarette lit fire to a big wall of flowers

“This is why I never wanted a bachelor party!” Matthias moaned

The boys could hear voices coming towards them

Then all of the men looked at each other

And all of them yelled “RUN!”

All of them starting sprinting to the fence

And Kaz with his limp scrambled up that fence the fastest

Guess his determination to not get caught was strong

Wylan started climbing as fast as he could whitch wasn’t very fast

“Cmon Merchling!” Jesper said at the top reaching out a hand to his boyfriend

Wylan took it and stared at the steel eyes that had first enraptured him years ago

“Hey Stop!” Looking back Wylan and Jesper saw three security guards running towards them and yelling at them to stop

Jesper yanked Wylan up and they both fell off the fence in a pile

Jesper took Wylans hand and they all started booking it to Wylan’s car

Wylan who had sobered up in the whole endeavor determined that he was probably sober enough to drive

Piling in they all shoved themselves in the car

Wylan turned on the gas and starte to get the car back on the road

“I can’t believe we ran from cops!” Matthias said in between panting

“That was awesome!” Jesper exclaimed from the passenger seat

Wylan laughed

He had never been a spontaneous person

It seemed this night was a lot more fun then he thought

Until he heard the sirens

From the backseat Kaz turned

And three police cars were zooming towards them

“I am not going down for arson!” Kuwei yelled

“Wylan stop driving like a grandma and go faster! There gaining on us!” Kaz screamed at Wylan

“I can’t there’s a stoplight!”

“Run it!” Jespers shrill voice screamed at him

And Wylan did what he swore to never do

He took a deep breath

And ran that light as fast as he could

They were flying

Wylan had never seen how fast he could make his car go

Turns out it was fast

Wylan used some of his dads money to buy a sports car just to rub it in Jans face

With the top off and blood rushing through Wylans head he had never felt more alive

His boy beside him

His friends behind him

“WOOOOOOOOO!” Kuwei yelled throwing his hands up

Jesper joined Kuwei as the car sped down the street

Matthias was looking a little green

“Matty you okay back there?” Wylan shouted back at the Norwegian

“No!” Matthias shouted over the roar of engine and Jesper and Kuweis yips and yells

Some point during this Kaz called Inej

“Inej I hate thissssss!” Wylan couldn’t hear what Inej said back but from the pieces Kaz gave it was obvious

“No im not drunk!……. Psh of course those aren’t sirens…… Inej we might’ve bended the law but I swear it wasn’t my fault!…….. alright bye. ….I love you to….”

After what seemed like an eternity Wylan finally lost the police

Laughing the Wylan pulled into a gas station for refill

Wylan stepped out of the car and began to refill his car and thought for the millionth time what am I doing here?

“Wylannnnnn” Kuwei moaned

“What Kuwei?” Wylan said already exasperated

“Wylan I’m hungryyyyyy”

“Then go grab some chips or something!”

“But I don’t want to pay for it!”

“Then I guess that sucks for you!”

“You got like a million dollars from stealing me from Norway! You owe me!”

Ghezen Wylan hated drunk people

“Let’s perform a heist on the gas station!” Matthias said apparently done feeling sick

“What? No! We aren’t stealing from the gas station!” Wylan lectured

“It might actually be fuuuuuuun Wy” Kaz begged

The rest of the party were already getting out of the car ignoring Wylans protests

“We will do a simple distract act, Kuwei will go in first and lead the cashier away, and then we go in and steal chips” Kaz explained

It seemed even drunk Kaz could scheme

“This is insane!” Wylan exclaimed

“You said that about rescuing Kuwei from the Norwegian government but that ended up great” Matthias replied

They were gonna do this with or without Wylan

With a sigh Wylan thought what am I doing here?

Kuwei had gone in and had given the single

Wylan had walked in after pretending to look at some sodas and after Kuwei went into the back room with the cashier Wylan sent a quick text to the rest of the guys to come In and get raiding

Like clockwork Matthias, Jesper, and Kaz went in and they started ransacking the place

Wylan was in charge of Sodas, Matthias was in charge of Chips, and Jesper was in charge of Candy

Kaz had the most important job of all

He had to hack into there computers and wipe the security cameras

If Kaz couldn’t do that then Kaz would have to actually hack into the computers from his phone

It almost suprised Wylan how quickly efficiently, and quietly, a bunch of drunk guys could ransack a gas station

Wylan did feel guilty for a moment

But then he remembered how the CEO of the company the gas station is owned by has had multiple sexual misconduct allegations and Wylan felt better

Wylan got all the soda he could carry and rushed back to the car dumping them in the backseat

Soon after Matthias followed then Jesper and a little while after Kaz

Wylan did a quick headcount “wait where’s Kuwei?”

Wylan checked his phone

No texts from him

Shit shit shit

“Someone has to go back in” Kaz said

“I’ll go after him” Wylan said with a sigh

He loved Kuwei like a brother

But like an annoying little brother constantly getting himself in messes

Wylan Walked in and saw the e cashier wasn’t back

Wylan walked through the store and then heard something towards the men’s bathroom

Walking closer to the door the noises were getting a bit louder

Wylan opened the door slamming it against the wall

There stood a wide eyed Chinese kid and from the green uniform Wylan guessed was the cashier

The cashier who was standing between Kuweis legs. Kuwei who was sitting in the edge of the bathroom sink

There’s arms were around each other

Wylan was confused

What was Kuwei doing?

“Get your ass in the car Kuwei!” Wylan yelled

Kuwei gave whispered sorries to the cashier while collecting his jacket he apparently threw off

Wylan dragged Kuwei by the arm outside the store

“Kuwei. When we say distract the cashier, that means distract, not make oht with him!” Wylan lectured

“Cmon Wylan you saw him, he was cute!”

“Your drunk Kuwei!”

“Aren’t we all a little drunk in life?”

“That makes absolutely no sense” Wylan said with a sigh “just go to the car”

Kuwei happily skips away

Wylan had just dropped off Matthias at his and Ninas apartment after dropping off Kaz and Kuwei

Leaving just Wylan, Jesper, and an unhealthy amount of snacks in the car

“Hey Wylan” Jesper said

“Yes Jes?”

“I love you”

“I love you to Jesper”

“No wylan” Jesper took Wylan’s face in his hands

“I really love you” Jesper Pushed a ginger lock away from Wylans face

Jesper then reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled purple flower and tucked it into Wylans hair “I really really really love you”

Wylan blinked. Jesper was so drunk.

Wylan gave Jesper a soft smile and placed a kiss on his mouth

“I love you to Jesper”

And suddenly Wylan knew exactly what he was doing there

Finnally finished this in the Nick of time! @neilperryisalive I hope you enjoy this! I was seriously worried I wouldn’t be able to finish it but I did! I’ve never written Wesper but I really enjoyed it. My ask box is open and I take any Grishaverse requests

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songficsbyrissi · 3 years

Text

This X-Mas (Spooky X Reader)

“'Cause this Christmas, will be the Greatest time of your life from me I ain't asking for the diamond rings I ain't really got a list of expensive things I just want you to myself while the children sleeps Santa baby, would you make a little time for me?” - Chris Brown feat. Ella Mai

A/N: hey y’all! I know I kinda abandoned you but being in College during a panoramic (Twitter joke) but I finished! I graduated undergrad so it’s lit! Even tho I don’t really care for Christmas or the holidays and I dislike Christmas music, I love this song and since it’s been a while, I might as well give y’all a Christmas gift soooo Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁❤️

************

You were not a fan of the holidays.

It’s not like you never were. You used to be but as you grew up, you grew a disdain for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years', all that.

The most wonderful time of the year, your ass.

From November 1st up until January 2nd, every year, you were annoyed and couldn’t wait for this time of the year to be over. You didn’t like it and if you had to hear “All I Want from Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey one more fucking time, someone was gonna get kicked where they’re more jolly.

You were relaxing on the couch when you heard a knock on your apartment door. You announced you were coming and opened the door to 3 boys by the names of Cesar, Jamal, and Ruby.

“Hey, boys! What brings-“

“BATHROOM!” Jamal ran past you and straight to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Ruby shook his head and Cesar gave a nervous laugh.

“Would you believe we were just in the neighborhood?”

You pursed your lips. “Nope.”

Ruby sighed out of frustration. “We need help getting Christmas gifts for our.....” He swallowed hard. You closed your eyes.

“You’re still struggling to call Jasmine your girlfriend?”

“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” You waved him off and right then, Jamal stepped out the bathroom, relieved.

“Whew, my bladder was full! Where you get that hand soap, Y/N?! Smells lovely!”

You rolled your eyes, irritated. “At Bath and Body Works where y’all should get gifts for your girlfriends.” You narrowed your eyes at Ruby, who shuddered at the G-word. “Now if you excuse me, I was enjoying my alone time.”

Cesar stopped the door from closing. “Wait. Didn’t you say you were leaving today to go spend Christmas with your family?”

Shit. “Uh yeah. Duh. I needed alone time before I left.”

“I don’t see any bags packed.” Ruby indicated, skeptical.

“Or an airline ticket on the desk. Yeah, I noticed!” Jamal added, folding his arms.

You looked at the 3 teenage boys who were waiting for you to confess. You sighed deeply, knowing the jig is up.

“Fine, 3 wise men!” You stated with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “I’m not going home. I never was going home. The reason why is because I don’t care for the holidays. I stopped a long time ago. It’s never been special to me. Also, I don’t have a close-knit family. Actually, we’re dysfunctional as hell. This isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for me. I lied so you guys wouldn’t know the truth, now are you happy?”

Jamal had a dismal expression on his face and pulled you to his chest. “Now I see what the Scrooge looks like as a black woman.”

You pushed him off and Cesar grabbed your wrist before you could hit him.

“Does Spooky know?”

You shook your head. “Nope and it’s gonna stay that way. I mean it, Cesar. Don’t say shit to your brother about this.”

Were you really depending on the little brother of your gang member friend that’s not really a friend but he’s kind of your boo to keep his mouth shut?

“Cesar told me you lied.” That was what Spooky said when you opened the door the next morning which was Christmas. You sucked your teeth loudly, disappointed that your dumbass trusted a 15-year-old who feared his brother.

“I should really kick your brother’s ass.”

He smirked at your comment. “Talk to me, Mami. Why you not fucking with Christmas?”

You left the door, letting him outside and he closed the door behind him. “Because it’s annoying as hell.”

“Nah, that ain’t it.”

You turned to Spooky with your arms folded. “Why do you even care, Oscar? It’s not like your thug ass cares for holidays and shit.”

Spooky remained unfazed by your attitude and you calling him by his government. When you first met him, he would be pissed at that. Even tried scaring you but it didn’t work. Eventually, he got used to it and only allowed you to call him Oscar.

“You’re wrong and I’ll show you. Get dressed.”

You were feeling dangerous. “And what if I don’t?” You responded with a roll of the neck.

Spooky let a dry laugh that scared you yet turned you on at the same time. Damn. You started to bite your lip then pulled it back. He got dangerously close and stared you down.

“Do you really wanna know, Princesa?”

Yes. No. Shit.

You got out of his face and got dressed as you were told. You’ll let him win this round. You got into his car and he drove back to his house where Cesar and his girlfriend Monse were making a mess in the kitchen.

“Hey Y/N!” Monse greeted you. Cesar looked at you nervously.

“Hey Y/N, how’s-“

You held your hand up. “Save it, snitch!”

“He forced it out of me!” The young boy pleaded and you rolled your eyes in response.

“Whatever. What are y’all even doing?” You asked, confused and disgusted by the sight of the kitchen and glancing at Spooky’s face, he was not too pleased either.

“Trying to do a Christmas brunch but somebody doesn’t wanna listen to the instructions.” Monse gestured towards her boyfriend with a roll of her neck, causing Cesar to groan.

You couldn’t help but giggle at the two. “Alright lemme help so I can fix this. You!” You gestured towards Spooky. “You’re helping too!”

“Nahhhh cooking ain’t my thing.”

“Well Christmas ain’t my thing but I’m here. Now throw on an apron, cholo. You’re on bacon duty!”

You couldn’t lie. Making Christmas brunch with the kids was fun as hell. You found yourself smiling and giggling during the cooking and eating. You even caught Spooky staring at you a couple of times. You pecked his lips just because he looked so adorable but if you told him that, he’ll turn into a jackass. When the boys left to get something from God knows where you were left alone with Monse. You didn’t know too much about the girl but figured you could get to know her more.

“So Monse...you’re spending Christmas with your boyfriend.”

“So are you.”

Your eyes narrowed at her response. “1. Spooky is not my boyfriend and 2. I was forced here. Christmas is bullshit.”

“I love Christmas. Even though I don’t remember the last time I actually spent it with my dad.” Monse shrugged bending over and fix her shoelaces. That caught your attention.

“Wait, you’ve had shitty Christmases and you still love Christmas?!”

She shrugged again. “Well yeah. My dad is always away for Christmas and I don’t have my mom so I’ve always dreamt of doing Christmas stuff with the people I love. When I met the boys, not to sound corny but my dreams came true. Another reason why I need to keep the group together.”

You were lost for words. “Wow, I’m sorry, Monse.”

“It’s ok. Hey, I think I hear the boys coming back.”

The boys revealed themselves and Cesar announced that you guys were being invited to have Christmas dinner with Jamal’s family which was great because you didn’t want to cook.

“I’m telling you marmalade is better than jelly. I don’t wanna hear it!” Jamal declared during dinner. A debate broke out between marmalade and jelly which really entertained you. Jamal’s family was funny and so welcoming to you, a stranger. It felt weird to you that they were showing so much love to you, a stranger. Oscar held your hand throughout the whole dinner which did something to your stomach. You don’t wanna say butterflies. Maybe it’s gas.

When the group stopped by Ruby’s house to pick him up for “friendsmas”, his grandma pulled you aside with a serious look on her face.

“Open your heart, mama.”

You gave her a confused look. “What?”

“You closed your heart. Open it. Even if it’s to Papi Chulo over there. “ she gestured towards Oscar who was lighting up a cigarette and looked back at you. “Open it to Christmas. To any holiday. Just....open it.”

You kept that in mind as you went with the others back to the house for the kids to engage in their “friendsmas”.

“I’ve never heard “Friendsmas.” You muttered as Spooky handed you a glass of wine and you watched the kids from the doorway.

Oscar shrugged taking a swig of his Corona. “Well you hate Christmas so I’m not surprised.”

You elbowed him in his side and he began to laugh in response. “I don’t hate Christmas. I just never found joy in the holidays but now I do.” You looked at him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you. Thank you for making this Christmas special for me.”

Oscar began to grin and pulled something from behind his back. “It’s not over yet, hyna.”

You gazed at the blue velvet rectangular box and opened it slowly to reveal a silver chain that said “Oscar” You looked up at him, speechless.

“Spooky, I....I.....”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just put on my necklace and be mine.” The gangsta in front of you took a deep breath. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your eyes were as big as saucers. “You....you do?”

“Yes, girl he do! It was so obvious!” Jasmine’s voice broke through the moment and everyone glared at her. Her mouth formed an O. “Oooh sorry! I forgot we were supposed to be acting like we weren’t paying attention. My bad!”

You shook your head and felt a surge of love and confidence. You loved this man. You have for a long time but never admitted it because...your heart was closed. Damn. Ruby’s crazy grandma ain’t so crazy after all.

“I love you too, Oscar.” You pulled him in for a long passionate kiss and the crew clapped in excitement.

“Girl put your back in it! You’re under the mistletoe!” Jasmine yelled again.

Ruby started. “Jasmine-“

“Shut up and kiss me!” She grabbed him by his collar, planting a kiss on his lips.

When you finally pulled away from your kiss with Spooky, you smiled up at him and his expression was matching yours. You spoke up through your grin:

“I’ll be damned. It is the most wonderful time of the year.”

A/N: Cheesy as fuckkkkk I know but Christmas is all about the cheese if we’re gonna be honest. I hope you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, y’all! ❤️🎄🎁

Tags: @karmawaelualani @chaneajoyyy @ctrlszn @witchything @sabrinafey @penguinpower17889 @robingreysantos @namjoonwatcheshentai @pananegra @bloatedandlonly @blackmissfrizzle @chonisberonica @flamingweasley @cynthetic @momobaby227 @this-glitter-pussay @beyondprincess @joyrivh

#Oscar Diaz #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz x black reader #oscar diaz imagine #oscar diaz x black! reader #spooky diaz #spooky diaz fanfic #spooky x reader #spooky diaz imagine #spooky diaz x black! reader #on my block #on my block fic #on my block fanfiction #on my block fanfic #omb fanfiction

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infinite-rabbits · 4 years

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Emergency: Please help

So this happened yesterday. I made a few posts of it here and was messing around on tumblr to distract myself from all of the stress, but now the seriousness of the situation is really hitting us.

My roommate and I are both out of work due to Corvid-19. We’re not sure if we’re getting paid for our time away and there isn’t much communication from our jobs. Yesterday we got hit hard enough from someone who was gunning it out of a parking lot that they totaled the car. I know this doesn’t look like a lot of damage, but apparently the frame is completely messed up and the insurance company is going to take the car and possibly give us enough to replace it??

The worst part about this is that we had barely enough money to last over the next two months being out of work. We had rent covered, food, and bills once we pooled our money together.

But now we have to loose a huge chunk of that money because he has to pay the deductible on the insurance.

So I’m going to do what I really wished I would never have to do. I have to ask for your help. Please, if you can donate anything at all, doesn’t matter how big or little it is, you can send it to me through my Ko-Fi: HERE Or you can IM me and I can give you the address my paypal is linked to. If you can’t donate, please please please just reblog this. The more people see it, the better.

Thank you for any help you can give, little or small, it means the world to us.

Full Story of what happened under the cut:

So uh... we ran out of bread last night and we're close to being out of PB&J. This morning we decided to go out and get some more because, well, it's hard to get ahold of because everyone's panicking and it's one of the main things in our diet right now. The roomie and I headed for Walmart, and while we were on a 2-lane road in the left lane, some douchenozzle shoves his way through the heavy traffic out of a parking-lot and rams us on my side. We weren't even going that fast. We were actually coming up to a stop-light, so my roomie was slowing down. He hit us hard enough to make us spin-out and do a full 180degree turn. The back passenger door was absolutely wrecked and I was lucky he didn't hit MY door, but because he hit my side, I'm really starting to hurt now. The back driver wheel hit the median while we spun and it actually hit so hard that it knocked the wheel itself off of the rim and scraped the metal. Somehow we didn't hit another car and we wound up in the right-hand lane completely turned around and facing the wrong direction. I was SO pissed that I got out of the car and screamed at the guy. Both of us were shaking and I was choking because when he hit us, some white stuff flew into the car and I breathed it in. Still kinda choking on it. (Found out later it was probably the stirofoam that was under his bumper.) I manage to kinda stop traffic enough for us to get the car out of the lane and into the parking lot beside us, after which we realized that we couldn't drive any further because of the wheel being messed up. He stayed in the median and called for someone while we called the cops and the insurance company. Then I noticed there was a damn kid in his car. She was like, 2-3 years old and didn't look like she'd been strapped in because she was just climbing from the back to the front seat to see what was going on. He sped through fucking traffic and t-boned us with a kid in the back seat. This whole time, he's over there refusing to come and talk to us until someone else shows up. Turns out, he needs a translator. That's fine. In our area we get a lot of tourists so I just assumed he wasn't from around here. I would have assumed his car was a rental if it hadn't been for the brand new paper license plate. They get their car into the parking lot too and his bumper is all but falling off. A lady shows up to take care of the kid, which seems fine. But then another guy shows up. Then another guy. And Grandma shows up too. For some reason the whole family shows up and are hanging around while we wait for the cop. Normally I wouldn't care, but being surrounded by this many people while I'm already anxious was a bit much for me and made me uncomfortable. I'd already called a friend and cried over the phone with her and being surrounded made me feel stressed. Finally the cop shows up, gets our stories and our information, then goes into his car for basically an hour to have to fill everything out and get it all in order. Luckily we just get given a sheet of paper with all of the information we need on it. Then he glances at them and says to us, "They're gonna be pissed." He wound up getting a ticket among who knows what else because of his reckless driving. The cop leaves and they're visibly angry. Then one of the guys who showed up approaches us. Something about him immediately rubbed me the wrong way, like I got a bad vibe from him. He asks us if we're alright, and I tell him no because our car's wrecked and I'm starting to hurt. Then he tries to get us to lie. Like the dude straight up look sat my roommate and says, "If they ask what happened, tell them--" I have NEVER cut someone off so fast before. I told him: " NO. If they ask, we are going to tell them EXACTLY what happened." And this douche has the NERVE to say: "Well next time you really shouldn't be going so fast. Then you can stop when something like this happens." Like, he's legit trying to turn this around to be my roomie's fault. Keep in mind: we were coming up to a stop light. We were actively slowing down. The speed limit in there is 45. My roomie couldn't have possibly been going more than 35 at the absolute most, and even that's pushing it. I just GLARE at this guy and say: "NO. Even the COP said WE HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY. HE hit US. You need to walk away." I'm... I'm tiny. I'm not even fully 5'6" and I'm sitting here in my stupid Jurassic Park tank top and hole-filled shorts just glaring daggers at this guy. Don't you dare come at me with your stupid scorpion gold chain necklace thinking you're all big and bad and thinking you're going to intimidate me when you're outright coming after my roommate. I'm a wuss when someone comes after ME and I'm by myself, but you put me in a room with people I care about and have someone go after them? All bets are off. Thankfully he just got pissed off and turned away. The whole family climbed into the back of their other van except for like two who went into the translator's car, and they all drove off. For like an hour. We were left sitting there trying to contact the insurance company again, making sure they got all of the files they needed, making sure they got their statements, and figuring out if it was getting towed tonight or not. Then the translator and one of the other guys show up and start messing with their van. First they back it up...and the bumper nearly completely falls off. Then they sit there for a few minutes and try to get it on. The guy driving it goes very slowly out of the parking lot, leaving his entire front in the right-hand lane for some reason while he's waiting to go and then finally does. The other guy on the other hand almost causes another accident. So he's behind a truck that's also waiting to turn out. When the truck goes to pull out, this dumbass SLAMS down on his gas, nearly rear-ends the truck, slams on his breaks, and then once the truck is out of the way, he zooms out of the parking lot without properly looking to make sure no one else is coming. I really don't understand it. But from the looks of things, they probably aren't going to be calling their own insurance company. The car wasn't even registered under the guy that rammed us. It was someone else's name of the same address. So he just wrecked someone else's newly bought car. All of it sucks, my roommate's car is totaled and we are gonna see if we're getting any money for it tomorrow, and I'm in pain so the insurance company is gonna have to send me a doctor over all of this. We're out $500 for the deductible and I'm.... honestly really frustrated. All of this because of Bread, Peanutbutter, and Jelly. Thankfully a friend of ours came to pick us up and also brought us those three things, but now the adrenaline is starting to wear off and I'm getting *really* tired. I'm going to get myself some coffee and try my best to focus on the one-shot I started before the crash just to keep myself awake for now. For the most part I was typing all of this here because it's a safe place to store the information in case I forget anything. But also I kinda wanted to let you guys know why I hadn't posted anything yet. I was saying I wanted to do one short-story a day and I fell behind yesterday because I was doing character-designs for one of the other stories. So I feel guilty falling behind today too. Even if I do have a good reason for it. Stay safe out there, everyone. It's getting really crazy.

#psa #emergency #money emergency #car accident #please help

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bunnylouisegrimes · 4 years

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Episode 8 Review

The usual spoilers

Alright, this episode was pretty good in the beginning with some stuff here and there I didn’t like, but that ending... that ending leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Normally I start with the bad first, then the good, but I feel I should do chronological order for this one since most of the good is before the bad.

For starters, I enjoyed the very beginning with Chris at his dad’s funeral. For once, seeing an aspect of Vic’s childhood was interesting. You feel pretty bad for Chris because of the rough childhood he had, and you feel bad because he became his father. It’s good that he’s definitely changed tho. He pissed me off (and I’m sure everyone else off) last season, and to see him get emotional all those years before is definitely something. Seeing him grow now is rewarding.

I do really like how both of Vic’s parents see her bridge and are amazed by it. Idk why, but I always find it incredibly satisfying in a story when all the characters understand something/everything. I’m sure we all do, but clarification in a story has always brought me a satisfaction comparable to that of watching those satisfying video complications on YouTube.

How Bing is alive still... I have no idea. Maybe because he was sitting and that helped slow down the blood flow? Honestly, I really wanted them to get information out of him, then have him die. Look, there is a part of me that feels bad for him and sorry for him, but his actions are way less forgivable than Charlie’s. If you ask me, despite him talking with Vic (and hell, maybe at this point he does feel bad for what he did, although that is hard to believe because he did genuinely enjoy raping people, and rape is one of those actions it’s very hard to find really any redemption in once you commit it), I don’t see anyone forgiving his ass, and they shouldn’t. I also think Bing has always been a ticking time bomb. Who knows, if Charlie hadn’t come into their lives, he could’ve hurt Vic if she came off as “too nice” to him. We see what he did to his mom, despite her loving him and being the only good person in his life. He interprets love as something darker, and while it’s horrible that he thinks that way, and I understand what his childhood did to his mind, he has the knowledge that it’s wrong to do it (I mean, he has to subdue people with the gas, and he clearly sees his victims are unwilling) and he should stop it, yet he doesn’t. Charlie actually believes that what he’s doing is right, and there is a part of you that can see that in some regards, he is right, keeping kids away from harmful parents. What good comes out of rape? The only good that comes out of it is the benefit to himself for getting his sick pleasures. He does it all because he can and likes it, no other purpose. He could’ve gotten help, he could’ve tried to keep that all in and express it in a safe environment, he could’ve restrained himself from doing these things... yet he didn’t. If he had just killed the parents and strictly did nothing of a particularly cruel nature, you could understand Bing more and respect his character. But since he didn’t... it makes things harder. Is it respectable that he admitted he’s wrong? Yes. Should he be forgiven? Well... not really, at least imo. If Bing has any redeeming qualities, there are very few. Since he is kept alive, I hope he’s either rotting in prison or kept in a place where he can maybe get help that he needs. I think most importantly, I’m more than a little annoyed at this whole, “Yeah, we’ll write the rapist more sympathetically before we do the main antagonist, who’s actions are questionable and one could understand his intent. He doesn’t rape anybody and finds the act repulsive and kills rapists... but he’s less sympathetic just because he’s the main bad guy 😀.” Yeah, okay writers...

Moving on from the only truly bad thing in the episode before the ending, everything else seemed to be fine. I’m concerned with Maggie and Tabitha’s relationship, I really hope they’ll be okay. Tabitha was badass getting the respect and recognition she deserves for the work she does. Even though she made the stupid decision of going into that church by herself and possibly getting killed, I do love the balls she has, I just hope she doesn’t get herself killed by being stupid. Her and Maggie are a great couple and I love them. I feel bad for Vic and I hate that she feels so low about herself. I did like her talking with her dad. The confrontation with Millie was interesting, and I’m curious to see what’s in store with that. Based on the “next time” preview at the end of the episode, we finally make it to Christmasland, and I’m very interested (but also a little anxious) about what’s gonna happen next.

Now, the ending... this damn ending...

First of all, when Maggie was confronting Wayne, why didn’t she grab his ornament? Maggie is not a stupid character. Did she get hit by the car last season and not make smarter decisions on how to avoid it (ex, maybe getting in between two other cars)? Sure, but we’ll cut her slack, it was a very in the moment thing. This? I mean... they were anticipating this. You mean to tell me she couldn’t have thought of trying to get that ornament out of his hand and taking it away from him? She tricked the Hourglass for Christ’s sakes. It looks like from the preview she’s collecting their ornaments, but still, especially in that moment, she would’ve grabbed his. It might’ve made Wayne have a strength over his old self... what’s weird is in the book, he’s holding onto both sides of himself throughout his entire journey, in this they’re making it seem as though he has no control anymore. Which leads me to my next point...

Where is Craig in all of this? What, so his efforts didn’t do dick? What was the point in having him the last two episodes? I believe in the book, Wayne’s grandma (aka Linda McQueen), is helping him in a spirit form, and also by him “thinking backwards.” Craig was helping him by reminding him of Vic and staying by him. It would’ve made so much more sense for Craig to be by his side still (or hell, in the car if he can’t leave it and telling Wayne to “remember the plan”), Wayne “puts” the ornament on the tree (or Maggie takes it off after he puts it on), and Craig stays by him. Nope, let’s make his character useless. Who knows if he’ll return next episode, I’m hoping he will, but even if he does, it’s still annoying that his character has done little to nothing at this point when there was so much potential, and it seems to be almost too late. I’m glad Wayne didn’t eat Maggie or Lou like I feared (Lou did get a nip I suppose, which was a little unneeded if you ask me). I was hoping for more potential from Craig, guess we’ll have to see if there will be...

Another point: WHY THE HELL IS THIS CAR TOO OVERPOWERED? Seriously, it makes no sense. You can make Charlie’s abilities as op as you want so long as it’s not ridiculous, I could see that. But the car? That’s his total weakness. It can be stronger than the average car, but if lighting it on fire deals with it, explosions would. That is beyond lazy writing.

Now, the worst part: Chris’s death. Of course, let’s kill a character when he just seemed to redeem himself (but the character that rapes people and can’t really be redeemed, we’re gonna keep him alive, maybe he’ll get a redemption arch 🙂). Once again, writers, why are you making the most stupid choices? While his death wasn’t as stupid as his death in the book where officers shoot him down when he’s trying to protect Vic from one (this is all under Tabitha’s command, let’s just say she’s not that great of a cop in the book or with Maggie, I enjoy her character changes for the show), his death, the way I see it, is still insulting and pointless. Realistically, they could’ve kept him alive, what is the point of not? Also, I know that bike is heavy, but why wouldn’t Vic get up and kick some ass? Of course, her bike would act up just as the Wraith is coming towards her (what is the point of that too?). I really think Chris’s death was just for shock value and filler, and to make Charlie look like an even worse villain (because they reeeeally want to drill this point home, if the way his backstory is presented in the show wasn’t proof enough, which is stupid because we UNDERSTAND WRITERS. It’s you guys that don’t understand that Charlie is established as the villain through being the antagonist and his conflicting actions). While I’m glad they didn’t kill an even more important character (ex, Maggie or Lou or Vic), it’s still stupid to waste all that character development on Chris just for him to go out anyways, all for shock value filler and to make Charlie worse. Again, not saying he’s a saint, not saying it’s out of the realm of possibility for him to want to get revenge on Vic this way, but still, isn’t he already getting revenge on her through Wayne (plus, to him it’s poetic justice that he’s “saving” him from her). There’s really no point to Chris’s death. This reminded me heavily of TWD when they would pull that shock value filler crap with killing characters, and making a villain look worse than needed (an example is what they did with Negan in the show by writing him as even more evil and less redeemable than he is in the comics). I genuinely hope they don’t pull more of this.

All in all, this episode had it’s good moments I enjoyed, but there was definitely some stupidity and bad moments I despised. Let’s hope these last two episodes where shit gets more serious will be better. I’m hoping this show does not turn to crap through a series of stupid decisions, much like TWD did. I will be sorely disappointed at AMC...

#nos4a2 #nos4a2 vic #nos4a2 maggie #nos4a2 charlie #charlie manx #vic mcqueen #maggie leigh

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r00en · 4 years

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Still Good- Chapter 8

After spending too much time being a hero Paladin is picked to replace All Might at U.S.J. Of course something goes horribly wrong.

All Might x Reader (OC)

Warnings: Blood / Gore / Major Injury.

Paladin get’s a little wrecked here. It’s not showed HOW but the aftermath is explained in detail so....be warned.

Being scolded wasn't the worst thing in the world. At least not when they angry little huffs of Paladin were directed at him over the hard smacks of her grandmothers cane to his side. Toshi was slumped over on one of the office cots trying his best to look remorseful for his actions that day. He was, really he was. He spent too much time assisting other hero's and helping civilians on his way to work that his time had all but run out and he could no longer power up. That meant hiding away in the teachers lounge or for now nurses office until he had regained some of his energy. He should have just left it to the pro's on duty at the time. It as all petty activity anyway nothing life threatening but old habits seemed to die hard. "I really should start treating you like Grandma and refusing to heal you after stunts like this. Honestly Toshinori....you were meant to take the students to U.S.J today." She was using his full name. Not good. But still....

Letting out a defeated sigh Toshi scratched his neck with worry. "You're right. Of course. I wasn't thinking." Now he had to sit here and be pathetic all day. Useless. The though washed over him like a wave of hard hitting self loathing. "I should be there to teach those kids and I'm stuck here just being a burden." His own tone shifted to a dark and depressing rumble. Shoving his face in his heads and gripping his forehead a bit too tightly as if punishing himself for it foolish actions. Only when a pair of soft warm hands covered his own did he at last let up. She didn't let go either and he found himself twisting his palms to grip her's carefully. Little moments like this were both trilling and terrifying to Toshi. Close, personal, physical contact with her sent a spark of joy down to his gut but bubbled back up as worry, doubt and nerves. But each time he powered through and forced himself to keep that contact for as long as possible. Her hand pressed against the side of his head, thumb brushing over the small red spot he created in his anger and soothed it away with that wonderful cool numbing of her quirk. They both watched each other for a moment. Happy to just be as close as they were. "You can stay here if you like...I'm sorry my healing won't help you recover any faster..."

Toshi sat up a bit straighter and waved his free hand at her frantically. "Oh no! None of this is you're fault please! I feel better already, just being able to breath again without the pain in my side is more than enough." His fingers twitched over her's and he graced her with a real smile this time. "Thank you...you have always-"

The sudden woosh of the office door snapped them both apart. As intrusions to their quiet personal moments seemed to do these days. How is it they always managed to get caught looking like anything but coworkers? Toshi cleared his throat for want of something better to do to clear his head and seem presentable to the fuzzy principal as he walked in, looking as cheery yet slightly unnerving as always.

"My my what ever will we do with you All Might?" Wonderful, someone else was here to remind him of his short comings. "Still there is no need to look so glum about it. While this is a turn in situation you can be sure the staff and UA can handle sudden unexpected alterations!" Carefully Mr. Principal climbed his little self up into the office chair. Settling in with a little wiggle. "No need to worry! None at all! You can rest and meet up with the class as soon as you are able."

That at least put Toshi in some kind of ease. The day wouldn't be a complete loss though this self hate was going to take some time to work out of his system he would feel far better as soon as he could rejoin the students and do his job properly. "I'm sorry to be such a burden sir..." his shoulders bowed low in both defeat and apology. The small click of the Principles tongue and his waving little paw caught Toshi off guard and he found himself shrinking back a bit.

"No need no need! We will be sending our dear school nurse in your place for now! If you ask me it may work out for the better! The students arn't used to such intense training and are bound to have a few more mishaps than here on campus. U.S.J really is a test of it's own the first time around."

Both Toshi and Paladin blinked, looking to each other and back to their boss in disbelief. "M-me sir?" her stutter would have been cute if it were any other situation. "But I'm not a teacher...I don't think I could be of any help to the students in this sort of situation. They need hero guidance and-" "Were you not a pro hero back in the states Paladin? If I recall you made quite the name for yourself too even without any offensive abilities. The students need a good well rounded education. All Might may be able to teach them how to punch their problems away but you can teach them to use their head. Practical first aid in rescue situations, even battle tactics beyond brute force. Many of the first years this time around have powerful but under utilized quirks that could benefit from a fighting style like yours."

The wave of sudden odd compliments had her blushing to her ears. Both her hands trying to cover her pink cheeks and Toshi felt his heart to a little flip he had to force himself to look back at the small white mammal that was their facility leader. "He does have a point. While you are the schools nurse you have some amazing knowledge to pass on to the students that may be invaluable. Not only would the students be safer but you could truly teach them a thing or two the pro hero teachers have no experience with." That got her flushing even more and the little smirk Toshi couldn't hide was going to get him in trouble. He coughed into his fist to keep attention away from his face. Paladin was giggling softly to herself, slowly working into a nervous chuckle. Her hand coming down to smack him hard on the back a few times. Punishment or embarrassment Toshi couldn't figure out. "You too knock it off! All these complements are going to go right to my head you should know better!"

Mr.Principal laughed along as well. "It's settled then! You shall follow the students to U.S.J for these specialized lessons. Of course All Might you'll join them as soon as you feel well enough again." Toshi gave him a nod once he was sitting upright again. His spirits lifted at least slightly now that there was a mild solution to his royal fuck up this morning. The pure excitement she seemed to feel over this chance to interact with the students almost made it all worth it. Almost. His gut still swirled with a sense of unease that he chalked up to his disappointment. This was fine. Everything would be fine.

Both of them watched at their boss hopped himself down off his seat. His large boots squeaking as he made his way to the door. "Once you two are done blushing at each other in privet we can expect our dear nurse to join class 1-A at the school gates in about ten minuets." That sent the two of them back into a sudden panic. Both talking over each other to try and explain themselves. Come up with some excuse, defense anything at all to cover the obvious. Another small tsk from the tiny creature shut them up quickly and they were forced to stand there, bright red and looking anywhere but at each other. "You humans always make things far more complicated for yourselves. Remember, ten minutes Miss.Paladin." with his final word said the door snapped shut and both staff members were left to heat the room with their awkward tension.

"I um-" "You'll-"

"O-oh sorry!" "N-no no you-"

"I was going to-" "I just-"

If the two of them could get anything right Toshi would honestly question reality. Their fumbling, stuttering and tripping had been a long time staple of their friendship by now and try as he might to correct it it seemed to hang over them like a dark yet oh so endearing cloud. She stood in front of him, chewing her lower lip and keeping her eyes locked on what was apparently a very interesting empty notebook on her desk. She was nervous. So was he. He always was around her. A ball of static nerves and twitching limbs trying his best to not act like an inexperienced man well past his prime. He was back to rubbing his lanky neck again. Waiting those few more beats until he was sure she wasn't going to talk before him. "I think you'll be great. Far better than me I'm sure. At teaching that is. At most things really..." The light ruffle of his hair caught him off guard. She was carefully smoothing out the wild tufts that he could never manage to tame. The act was so soothing, so soft he felt he could melt into her hand and stay there.

She gave him that smile he loved so much, warm and loving. Looking right past what he was and gripping his heart through his chest. "Thank you. Knowing someone like you believes in me...I don't know what I would do without you Toshi." Live a long, healthy and happy life with a young, capable man far better than himself. Reality always had a way of slapping him hard across the face. That itching self hate that was getting more persistent day by day. Even when she was so focused on him, her affection plain as day even for a man like himself he had to ruin it by beating himself down and out. Maybe if he just kept doing it he could put out this flame he carried for her. Sure...though each second that passed between them felt like a bucket of gas tossed on the damn thing. Paladin stood straight again, pumping her arm up slightly and giving him her best All Might thumbs up. "I'll whip those kids into shape no problem! Teach them what being a pro hero is all about! I'll make sure I'm their favorite teacher from now on got it?!" Her tongue peaked out from between her sweet pink lips as she teased him, turning on her heels to head out the door.

There was no stopping it. That bonfire in his chest that burned ever brighter when ever she walked into a room. The pain in his side, his mind and his heart slowly pushed to the dark background. That self hate, weakness and loneliness banished with her damned smile that was etched into his thoughts. She was his own Symbol of Peace. A quiet one meant only for him.

~~~

"That's All Might....."

"It's my first time seeing him in person!"

"He looks so intimidating..."

"Idiots! Don't hesitate! If we kill that, we'll-- Gah!"

This fight was nothing. All Might kept repeating that in his mind as he struck down the minor villains around him. As he scooped up Aizawa and the students. Even as blood ran down his chin in a steady river and leaked from the new wound in his side. He could ignore the pain, he could fight through it and win! That's who he was! What ever that creature had taken what little he had left in him but he had to keep standing. Had to keep fighting. Protect everyone. All but one.

Toshi had no idea what had happened even seconds before he made his appearance. He couldn't fathom how 13 and Aizawa had been taken down, but beyond that there was Paladin. The hero who could take any hit, any attack and get back up. Just a crumpled mess on the ground. Unmoving save for the small twitch of her fingers rippling the pool of blood under her. Her once pure white coat soaking that warm liquid that didn't seem to stop flowing from a wound somewhere on her. He couldn't see. Damn it he couldn't move! That man had her. White hair, crazy eyes and hands. His true hand had a grip on her arm, her skin chipping away like old rotting paint but the faint glow of her quirk he had become so familiar with was trying it's best to beat it back. But why wasn't she moving?! What was she still bleeding? Why wasn't her quirk working everywhere else?! So many questions raced through his mind muddied by the light hiss of his strength leaving him like the air from a punctured balloon he was desperately trying to keep closed.

"I get it...." The voice was raspy and sharp. It chilled Toshi to the bone. "She heals doesn't she? How useful for a nurse...that's why even my Nomu couldn't keep her down. Interesting...." "Damn it..." Toshi hissed low between clenched teeth, catching the villains attention. "Oh I get it, this one's a friend isn't she? Important to you....like my Nomu was important to me....." It was scary how quickly this boys tone could shift. Threatening and unhinged to almost lighthearted and soft. "She was annoying. Couldn't do much but kept getting back up. Kept 'fixing' herself...you hero's always putting yourselves in harms way for others. Pathetic. But look at her now."

Midoriya's shaking voice cut through his unnerving rambling. He must have know Toshi was at his limit by now. Only he knew the real danger in front of them. "She....she got knocked out. I think she activated her quirk just before the last blow but it's trying to heal his quirks damage so it can focus on the rest of her body...he's doing too much damage too quickly for her to keep up. If we don't get him off her soon...."

It was a standstill for now. All parties stuck in place almost afraid to move. All Might couldn't. He could feel his form slipping bellow the rising smoke and dust he had kicked up. It was all he could to to appear a threat to them down. Standing still was almost too much. "But she's not what we want.....is she? But watching you squirm like that is justice for my Nomu.....revenge!" His grip on her arm seemed to increase and Toshi could hear the bone start to crack with the pressure of it. He needed to do something! Needed to act! Draw him away from her! "What if I grabbed her neck.....?" His free hand reached slowly, twitching it's long fingers as the teasingly made their way around her throat. One pinky held high but the pressure he applied forced an unwilling cough from Paladin that bubbled blood past her lips and down her cheeks. "Killed her in front of you...would that make you...angry All Might?"

"I'm sure we'd all like to end this as soon as possible."

The calm in his voice seemed to set this villain off. His wild eyes shaking behind the hand on his face. "You cheated...." Toshi could just make out his raspy whisper. "You used a cheat!" It was enough, he stood with Paladins arm still held tight in his grasp. Their quirks still battling for control of her body. "You're not any weaker at all!" It was like a child throwing a tantrum. The sight chilled Toshi as watch Paladin's limp body finally hit the ground with a disgusting, broken sound. Her quirk able to win out and heal the cracking skin and muscle of her arm....but it stopped. It wasn't moving to her side, head and legs. She couldn't direct it while she was unconscious! All Might had to end this and quickly! "Did that guy lie to me......?" The wicked sound of dull nails on rough skin was all Toshi could hear as he eyed down the villain who was nervously scratching his neck in what looked like a panic attack.

"What's wrong......you're not coming?" He taunted. Draw him in. Buy more time. The teachers would be there soon. "You said you'd 'clearl' this or something, right? Come and get me if you can." This was all he could do. All he could think of. If he could muster up one solid punch then maybe.

The sudden rush of white and purple coming at him almost looked like a sloppy blur. "This is for my Nomu!!!" He was really going to rush him? This kid was going to rush All Might? Did he know he was at his limit? Guess that he hardly had any strength left in him? No....he was unhinged. Rushing blindly forward in a fit of rage. This was a level of dangerous that Toshi hadn't seen in a long time. 'Jeez....holy shit....' He stood his ground, tried his best to plant his feet. He had to do this! The blur of purple caught his attention but he hardly had the strength to move his head. Both of them were coming at him at such speed. 'Hurry!....Everyone hurry!' His only hope were the other teachers now, but as the villains inched closer his faith in that was growing dimmer. There was nothing the Symbol of Peace could do.

"Get away from All Might!"

Midoriya. All Might hadn't even seen him move. He was just there aiming a punch at the void villain. Shouting as loud as he could to draw as much attention as possible. Toshi wanted to stop him. Wanting to grab him and throw him out of harms way but he was stuck, Midoriya was too fast and the villains were already in a counter "I won't fall for that again!". The white one's hand warped through the purple and aimed itself at his face. Toshi watched hopelessly as the ring of the villains horrible cracking laugh drowned out all other sound around them...except the sudden gun shot. A bullet hitting that horrible hand and knocking it away from the students face. Midoriya crumpled to the ground unable to catch himself on broken legs. "Are they here?"

More gun shots and sudden muttering. The villains in a panic as the ran this way and that trying to assess the new situation. All Might could hardly see what was going on. Still rooted to the spot he tried his best to twist himself to the entrance, catching the dark silhouette of his fellow teachers making their way inside. 'Finally.....finally!'

"Sorry Everyone!" The Principles rather chipper voice echoed through the large arena. "Sorry we're late! I gathered all who were immediately available." "I, Tenya Iida, class 1-A representative, have now returned!' There was more shouting, more fighting. Present Mic's loud yell pierced through it all for a few seconds. Toshi could make out the gun fire, Ecto's clones were rushing through the groups of villains that were trying to scatter or put up a last final defense. Midnight's hazy pink mist was floating through the frosted area to his left. Everything was going to be fine. There was no way any of these second rate villains could stand up to this many pro hero's. "It's game over now....." That kids voice cut through the fighting and noise around them. He was backing up, retreating into his strange partners purple portal like body. "Shall we go home...and try again later, Kurogir--?" Bullets riddled his body. Knocking him to the ground as they ripped through his legs, his partner quick to cover him at absorb as much of the spray as he could. But even that was countered as the gust of pulling wind started to drag the strange quirk user up. 13 was alive and drawing them in even from that distance! They had no choice, either be captured or leave.

"You may have one this time....." That wild red eye was fixed on Toshi as the pair were being dragged upward. Sinking back into the inky purple of his personal portal he was still threatening. "....but I will kill you next time.....Symbol of Peace, All Might!" The silence they left in their wake was unnerving. Cut only by young Midoriya's struggled whimpering.

He tried to pull himself up. His legs far to damaged to move on their own. "I'm sorry....I'm sorry I tried to protect her...and I couldn't save you again. I failed again!" His gloved fingers gripped into the dirt as he tried to drag himself forward even a few inches. Still trying to stand. Toshi let out a soft sigh, blood spraying from his lips with the effort. "That's not true...you bought me a few valuable seconds...with you I would be dead. Young Midoriya you saved me once again." This quiet moment of reflection between the two of them was short lived yet heart felt. His student was alright, the villains were gone. And even in his misshaped half form he could say he was standing. Still that dark gut-wrenching feeling crawled up his spine as he remembered the blooded mess that was just a few feet from them.

"Midoriya hey!" A new voice cut through the quiet just as All Might was about to move from his cover in the drifting dust and smoke. Kirashima was racing forward towards his friend as as much as it warmed him to see how much the young boy cared for his classmates at this rate he would be caught. It was like he was trapped all over again. He couldn't hear what the two young boys were saying to eachother, though he did catch young Midoriya's panicked face as he seemed to try and dismay his friend from coming any closer. He needed to move damn it! Needed to get to Paladin! The sudden wall of earth shot up between them. Cementoss's voice muffled by the buffer but it seemed to do the trick and sent the red haired boy running off in a different direction. Even if it wasn't full cover, even if he stood the chance of being seen Toshi forced himself forward. Past his young student he stumbled over to the broken body that had been tossed aside so carelessly.

Sinking to his knees his shaking arms wrapped themselves around his body. Pulling her up against him to try and shake some life into her. His voice wasn't working....why wasn't his damn voice working?! His bright eyes moved across her body trying to figure out where the damage was. To his dismay it was everywhere. Her head was bleeding somewhere past her hairline, enough to coat almost the whole left side of her face in blood. Her lip was split, it looked like her cheek may have been broken. Her throat was red and bruising. He couldn't see the damage to the rest of her clothed body but the spots of blood that pooled up against the fabric of her coat was telling enough. A thin metal rot, most likely the framework of some nearby dumby building was to his horror jutting out from her right side. His hand hovered over that spot, trembling. As if he could will the wound away. His only solace was the faint glow of her quirk shining off the piercing metal. She was trying, at least her body was trying it's best to heal what it could. "Damn it.........damn it!" His fingers ripped into the dirt under her with such force he was sure his own nails were splitting. He couldn't save her. Couldn't stop this from happening. It was his fault, he used up his power this morning, he was why she was here in the first place. It was all him. In some in directed way Toshinori honestly believed he had done this to her.

"....she was trying to protect us. From that creature..." Cementoss had young Midoriya in his large arms. Ready to carry him to the rest of the teachers. "She told me about her quirk that day in the nurses office. If she's knocked out she can't heal properly...it's slower....sometimes it doesn't even work at all." Toshi brushed some hair from her face as carefully as he could. His fingers hovered over her lips to catch the soft warm air. She was breathing. Thank god she was breathing. "But that villains quirk was too fast for her. She had to focus on fighting it back and not healing her other injury's. If she didn't do that I think it would have just kept eating away at her. She knew that so she sacrificed the rest of her body to keep it at bay." He was right, her right arm was untouched, almost too clean and perfect next to the rest of her mangled body. Toshi adjusted her slightly so he could stand with her, but in doing so shifted himself enough to see the blood soaked hand that supported most of her body. A hot rage filled him, rushing through his veins, ignoring the crippling pain of his left side. The urge to scream, lash out, track down those villains and rip them apart with his bare hands was a new sensation for him. Not totally. He remembered it once before so many years ago. But it crept back up through him like a snake. Coiling around his heart and planting itself there.

He had promised himself that this exact thing would never happen. He would never see her like this again after that night on the train. He swore to protect her yet here he was. Carrying her broken little body out of the ruined arena. That hate twisted his gut as he carefully places her on the awaiting stretcher, he climbed in behind them and no one seemed to have the guts to tell him otherwise. Not with that look on his face. The look that dared anyone to so much as speak to him. One person did however, a second body climbed into the back of the ambulance with them. Both tried to make themselves small as the EMT set to work trying to stabilize his new patient.

Tsukauchi let out a huff. "I won't ask why you're back here..." He got no response, and honestly didn't expect to. His friends eyes were glues the injured woman and he clearly wasn't going to look away any time soon. "They are heading back to UA. Recovery girl is already expecting her. We made the call when you came walking out with her a minuet ago." Toshi gave a weak nod, that was all he was going to get for now. "....She'll be okay. From what you've told the second she wakes up she'll put herself back together and be scolding you for worrying so much." It was true, Toshi has confided in his friend more than once since his odd friendship with Paladin had started. He was the only other person Toshi could truly call a 'friend' and someone far more experienced in social matters. He felt a hand give him a soft pat on the shoulder and that was enough for him to turn and give the worlds weakest, most tired smile he could. "I mean it. She's going to be real mad at you if she wakes up to that face."

He was right but Toshi couldn't help it. His heart hurt so damn much. It was battling between a flaring haterade and anger, fear, grief....self loathing. He watched as his friend hopped out of the back letting the doors close behind him. He tried to let his words sooth him, just a bit. It wasn't working well but it let his shoulders relax and his hands unclench from their shaking grip. "She's stable for now...." The EMT's voice was a little unsure, he didn't know why this strange beat up looking skeleton of a man was sitting in the back with them on their way to UA but much like everyone else he feared questioning it. And if the detective seemed fine with it he wouldn't bother. "We'll be back at UA soon."

It couldn't be soon enough.

#All Might/Reader #all might x reader #Toshinori x reader #Toshinori Yagi #MHA #my hero acadamy #izuku mydoria

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magdalenadaniels · 4 years

Photo

THE LOST LAMB CHARACTER STUDY

FULL NAME: Magdalena Ameena Daniels BIRTH-DATE: May 12th, 1993 AGE: Twenty-seven STAR-SIGN: Taurus GENDER IDENTITY: Cisfemale (she/her) ORIENTATION: Closeted homosexual/homoromantic OCCUPATION: Church Pianist/Organist TRIGGERS: Death, suicide, alcoholism, hints of homophobia, NSFW

The Beginning…

Lights flickered in the bathroom of the Daniels’ household. A storm was swirling outside the concrete walls of the home as the screams of a woman vibrated over the thunder that in itself, demanded to be heard. With a final cry from the new mother came the first of many from the first and only child brought into the world by Adam and Ameena Daniels.

“It’s a girl!” The father chirped, pulling their blessing into his arms.

But something wasn’t right. Whereas Adam’s eyes welled up with tears of joy, Ameena’s eyes glazed over and stared up at the trembling popcorn ceiling. The tub that was filled with warm water was now crimson, tainted with the blood of a beautiful daughter, wife and mother. Turns out that the newborn child wasn’t the only soul to wail into the night as the lights continued to flicker before going out completely.

Seven Years Later…

“I love you mommy.”

A little girl’s voice echoed through the empty cemetery, her small hands resting a bouquet of daisies against a tombstone marked with the name Ameena Daniels. She tugged at the hand of her father to kneel down with her in prayer. He obliged, pulling a cross from beneath his shirt and holding it between cupped hands.

“Father of all, we pray to you for Ameena, and for all those whom we love but see no longer. Grant to them eternal rest. Let light perpetual shine upon them. May his soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.” He prayed, pressing chapped lips to the rosary before the girl next to him began her own prayer.

“In your hands, O’ Lord, we humbly entrust our Ameena. In this life you embraced her with your tender love; deliver her now from every evil and bid her eternal rest. Welcome my mommy into paradise where there will be no pain, but peace and joy with your Son and the Holy Spirit forever and ever. Amen.”

“Amen.” He repeated before putting the rosary back beneath his shirt. “Come now, Magdalena. We mustn’t be late to supper with grandma. We’ll be back next Sunday, okay?”

“Okay, daddy.” She quipped, getting up and taking his hand again to make their way back to the car.

Nine Years Later…

“Shh… You’re going to get us caught!” Magdalena whispered in between kisses shared in a closet during her church’s youth group. Her hands wandered over their bare shoulders as kisses were peppered down her neck and to her chest. Her pale blue button up that was a part of her uniform was undone, halfway hanging off her slender frame.

“No one comes back here, Lena. It’s okay.” The voice replied, but they didn’t whisper. They had no secrets to hide. Their lips returned to Lena’s, young and greedy hands finding their way to places they shouldn’t be.

She felt like she was on cloud nine. She knew the sins she was committing as she slid completely out of her shirt, pulling off her rosary and letting it drop to the ground. She lifted herself up onto a table, it creaking loudly in protest as she hiked up her skirt and wrapped her legs around her lover’s waist. Hands then found themselves in unholy places for two teenagers. In the same breath that she moaned a familiar name, the closet door creaked open and the light cast a yellow glow over the two of them.

“Father!” Lena gasped, quickly scrambling out from underneath the other teenager to grab her shirt in order to protect what modesty she had left.

Adam stood in the doorway, taking in a deep breath before leaning down to pick up the rosary that had been his wife’s. He gave it to her recently on her sixteenth birthday. Magdalena stared at her father in fear, holding a hand out for the jewelry to be returned. In no moment’s hesitation, he shoved it into his own pocket before grabbing his daughter by the arm and pulling her from the closet.

“Get yourself cleaned up and meet me in the car.” His eyes burned holes into her soul. Holes deeper and hotter than any scorched before. As she hurried out of the room, Adam turned back to the other teen now quickly putting what clothes that had come off back onto their body. “As for you, Elizabeth–” He paused to take a deep breath. “I will be having a word with your parents. You will not taint my daughter and I will make sure of that.” He didn’t give the girl a chance to respond before turning away and slamming the closet door behind him.

Three Years Later…

It had been a year and a half since Magdalena decided to leave her hometown and go off to college. It had been something her father disapproved of and was the source of a lot of arguments. As heavy bass thumped through the walls of the college fraternity, she could remember the day the left like it was yesterday.

“If you leave, you are not welcome back here, Magdalena.” Her father stood between her and the front door.

She dropped her suitcase, going up to her father with a sneer painted across her face. “Why would I ever come back here? So I can join the stupid church and be daddy’s little girl– just too perfect to be full of so much sin? To speak words of love just to underline them with hate?” She shook her head as she went to grab her keys. “I hope I never see this town again. I hope I never see the people in it.”

Adam furrowed his brows in frustration. “This is not you!” He boomed, reaching out for her hand as he started to whisper the same prayer she heard every single time she made a mistake. Dear God, let my daughter repent her sins, but with about 100 more meaningless words.

Lena jerked away, picking her things back up. “Shut up! Do you think He hears you? Do you think He cares? A God that does what He does in this world is no God in my eyes. I don’t need your prayers. Now, let me go.” She pushed past him, yanking the door open and walking out.

“You’ll end up going to Hell, Lena! I am only trying to protect you!”

She laughed, making it to her car and tossing her things into the back. “Fuck you!” Were the last words she spoke to her father before leaving and they haven’t spoken since.

Now she sits between some guy and his girlfriend, sharing sloppy kisses and sips of vodka from plastic cups. Her breath could start a fire if you placed a match before it. She giggled as she pulled away pick up her now ringing phone. When she saw it was her father, she declined the call only to pull herself in closer to the girl next to her. It was then that her phone rang again, his face popping up to taunt her, and again, she ignored it. That was until about three more calls later. She got up, excusing herself to the backyard to answer her phone.

“Stop calling me! I told you I don’t want to ta–”

She was cut of by the muffled voice of her uncle. They had found her father in the church bathroom, a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He said that he left a note and told her when his funeral would be and before she hung up he said, “Just pray that your father makes it to his rightful destination. He was a good man. Pray he doesn’t end up going to Hell.”

Six Days Later…

The ivory casket lowered into freshly dug dirt. She could smell the Earth as it wafted through her senses. Her teeth clenched as they released the straps used to put her father in the ground. It was as if an iron rod were sliding down her throat, the overwhelming sensation of guilt burning all the way down into the pit of her stomach. She remembered when she was caught in the church closet and how the holes he stared into her were the worst at the time. Funny how she didn’t even know that on a scale that was only a five and this, well, you know how people save their tens. Tears threatened to leave her eyes, but she quickly slid on her over-sized sunglasses to hide the emotion.

“Now, if anyone would like to say a few words.” The pastor ended his prayer with the invitations, eyes looking in her direction. “Lena?”

It took her a moment, but she shook her head. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Her voice cracked as she pushed her way through the small crowd of people. All she wanted to do was get away from the guilt that swam through her mind. It had all come to head and for the frist time, Magdalena truly felt that her father’s suicide had been her own doing. She was callous and cruel. She was disobedient and full of sin. He couldn't live with the thought of his ruined daughter and there was no one to blame but herself.

Dearest Magdalena,

I am so sorry to have failed you as a father. I failed in saving your mother, I failed at saving myself and most disappointingly, I failed saving you. Forgive me for this final, damning sin and just know that I will forever and always love you. Don’t pray for me. It is too late. However, it is not too late for you. Please save yourself like I never could. Goodbye my beautiful.

The words were memorized. Of course they were memorized. They could never not be permanently etched into brain and as they repeated themselves over and over again, she found herself at the local Gas ‘N Dash, slipping a couple mini bottles of Stoli into her dress pockets and her bra. She was careful not to let anyone see before grabbing a bottle of water and making her way to the checkout. No one would question a grieving daughter whose father just ended his life in the town church.

She stepped outside after making her purchase and opened her water only to dump it out on the ground. A puddle formed around her feet until the plastic was empty. Then, she quickly got into her car, removing all the stolen bottles of liquor of refilling the bottle. Her car floor was littered with empty bottles and smelled of vodka and bile. It has been like this for so long that she didn’t even notice how bad it had gotten. All she could think about was the burn of the alcohol in her throat as she put the bottle to her lips and took a long drink.

The Rest…

It had been a week since Magdalena had been kicked out of school. Her grades had plummeted, she had too many absences and when she did show up to class it was either hungover or still intoxicated. The last straw was bringing a bottle of vodka to class, without switching it over to a water bottle first. She had all her things packed and the only place left to go was to her uncle’s house back in Wheeler, Indiana. He already had everything ready for her to go and somehow managed to convince her to go to AA meeting.

To her disbelief, the meetings worked and she was able to sober up with the support of her uncle. Then, she started going back to church on Wednesday… then, on Sundays and by the time she was twenty-three she was converted back to her religion and born anew.

She spent the next three years trying to become independent. She landed a job with the church, saving up enough money to move out on her own and finally be the adult she was meant to be. Her life was finally on the right track and she was doing a great job at keeping her demons hidden.

That was until Cassie went missing.

She had already felt herself slipping when all the chaos started, but upon hearing the news, something inside her snapped. She found herself going back to that place she was in after her father’s funeral, driving towards the place where it all started. She only went to get some coffee, too afraid to sleep. Then a mini bottle of Stoli caught her attention and the next thing she knew she was dropping the bottle and multiple other small items on the counter, hoping and praying the cashier didn’t notice and, from what she knows, they didn’t realize what she was doing.

#the stories we tell || character study #suicide tw #alcoholism tw #homophobia mention #death tw

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the-weeping-author · 4 years

Text

Hate To Love chapter 1

A/N: This is my first series thank you guys so much for liking my last three fics, I hope you guys enjoy this series.

This series will include: bullying, angst, fighting/arguing, fluff, smut. There will be a Steve vs Joyce show down.

Parings: Steve Harrington x Sara Byers

Trigger warnings: none in this chapter maybe not feeling loved??

Tag list: @ahoy-stevieboy @thehair-ington @galactic-kitten-nonsense @linkispink1995 @theworldisugly-22 @harringtown @phoebethepheebs @spiritsent

(Please don’t copy my fics as your own also I don’t own anything about the stranger tings franchise.)

Please enjoy 😌

Saturday November 5th, 1983

I’ve been home one day, I’ve already got all of my stuff unpacked into the spots I wanted my stuff to go then I decided to go look at the town I once knew like it was apart of me but now with my recent weight loss it feels like it’s foreign to me.

People looked at me like they didn’t know me anymore. Like I wasn’t Sara Byers anymore. I had to remake myself from the person I used to be, I had told my mother about what Lonnie had said about me to that woman over the phone.

I had to stop her from calling and giving him a piece of her mind, I was out and about so I could start putting in applications at any job that would take me. I took a deep breath, walked into a gas station that had a help wanted sign in the window.

I put the biggest smile on my face I could manage walking up to the person behind the register.

“Hi I’m here to apply for the position that y’all need to fill.”

The lady with curly hair smiled at me then popped her gum.

“Okay honey are you good with people?”

I smile shrugging.

“I’d like to think I am.”

She looked at me then at the door when someone came in.

“Alright when can you start?”

I looked at her while my eyes widened, excitement washing over my body.

“I can start right now if you need me too.”

She nodded, telling me to come behind the counter so she could show me how everything worked.

After she showed me everything she took down the help wanted sign then assured me she’d be back.

After she left it was kinda slow, I was behind the counter reading a magazine when a customer put the stuff they planned on but on the counter.

I started to ring them up when I heard my best friends familiar voice.

“Sara?”

My head snatched up to see my best friend in middle school barb.

“Oh hey barb how have you been?”

She smiled at me.

“I’ve been great did you lose weight I barely recognized you?”

I smiled at her, started playing with my hair.

“U-Uh yeah I did do I look bad?”

She quickly shook her head at me.

“Hell no girl you look fantastic I can already tell hearts are going to be broken, I don’t mind seeing them as long as one of them aren’t mine.”

I let out a loud laugh which made her laugh.

“Barb you know I could never stop being your friend.”

She smiled at me while I gave her her total.

“I know Sara and that’s why you’re the best.”

I smiled and I flipped my hair.

“Yeah I know.”

She gasped at me.

“Who is this confident teenager in front of me? What have you done with my Sara?”

I smiled at her then let out a giggle.

“The old Sara has gone out of business. This is the new and improved Sara.”

She laughed at me then hugged me over the counter.

“Well Sara I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

I smiled then nodded at her.

“Alright barb.”

I thought having the friend reunion was over until Tina walked in around six thirtyish. She had grabbed some snacks which I assumed was for some party that was either going on or she was throwing. She walked up to the register and smiled.

“Oh my god Sara? As in Sara Byers?”

I looked up at her then smiled at her.

“It is I, in the flesh Tina.”

She shook her head at me then looked me up and down.

“Damn girl you’ve gotten hot, I mean you’ve always been hot shit but damn this brings it to a new level.”

I laughed at her as I scanned her items.

“Alright Tina your total is $10.27.”

She smiled at me while she put a twenty dollar bill on the counter.

“Alright honey your change is $9.73.”

She walked away, gasping immediately stopping in her tracks.

“Oh by the way Sara there’s a party going on tonight at my house, I know, I know you don’t do parties but you should show the boys at Hawkins high what they are going to be seeing a lot of this year.”

I shook my head at her.

“No way Tina, I don’t want anyone to see what I look like yet, I want them to see that Humpty Dumpty got a makeover.”

She simply just shrugged at me.

“Okay fine but you owe me.”

I smiled at her.

“Yeah, yeah tell who you want that I’ve had a makeover I’m pretty sure they won’t believe you anyways.”

She shook her head as she walked out of the gas station, I went back to reading my magazine. The rest of the day went by really fast, the woman I soon learned was named Emily came back around 7 to show me how to close. That is when I would close the gas station.

I got in the car my grandma had left me in her will, I drove home. When I got there I saw the lights on and Jonathan's car.

“Great.”

I thought to myself while I got out the car, I walked to the front door and took a deep breath unknowing what could happen behind this door. I knew Johnathan was pissed and hurt at me leaving but I was back, he had no right feeling how he did towards me.

I took a deep breath then walked into the house, immediately I was pulled into a hug by Will.

“Hey little dude I’ve missed you.”

He buried his face into my neck when he pulled away his eyes were watery.

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

I shook my head as a stray tear went on his cheek, I quickly wiped it away.

“No buddy what would make you feel that way?”

He looked up at me and bit his bottom lip and took a shakeup breath.

“Cause you left with dad, since he doesn’t ever come around why would you?”

I felt my stomach drop at his words they stung, but I knew he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings but he did. He was my little brother and I’m supposed to be here for him and I left him.

My mother was next to bring me into a hug, she rubbed my back then she kissed my forehead.

“I knew you’d be back, I just knew it.”

I smiled at her then she pulled away.

“Did I ever say that I’m sorry for what you overheard Lonnie saying, I know I can’t control what he said but I can make you feel better?”

She smiled at me while I raised my eyebrow amused at her.

“What’s that momma?”

She put her thumb under my chin and gently rubbed it with her thumb.

“Well since I gotta work tonight why don’t we eat ice cream while Johnathan, you and I watch a scary movie?”

I smiled at her until she mentioned Johnathan.

“Yeah I don’t think Johnathan would like that idea.”

She furrowed her eyebrows at me confusion evident on her face.

“Why would you think that Sara?”

I sighed looking at my hands.

“Well because he hasn’t spoken to me since I got back.”

She smiled at me while she rubbed my shoulders.

“Oh honey he’ll get over it he’s just hurt and being stubborn right now.”

“Who’s stubborn?” Johnathan asked As he entered the living room.

“Oh no one.” She turned towards me and made some dramatic face causing me to giggle.

“Hey Johnathan I’m working late tomorrow night so can you please watch Will?”

He sighed but agreed as he walked into the kitchen I decided to show our mother what I was talking about.

“Hey Johnathan.”

Not only did he not speak back but he didn’t even look my way, I turned to look at my mom.

“See what I’m talking about?”

My mother smiled Sympathetically at me while he walked back to his room.

“Honey just give him time y’all are twins y’all will come together again.”

*Time skip*

I was laying in bed listening to some Cyndi lauper record when I heard a knock on my door.

“It’s open.”

Johnathan quickly walked into my room, I got off my bed and turned my record down.

“Hey so Sara I need to ask a favor.”

I raised an eyebrow at him as I sat back down on my bed.

“Oh okay what’s up?”

He took in a breath then sat on the edge of my bed.

“I need you to watch Will tomorrow night while I pick up a shift.”

I looked at him blankly.

“Excuse me?”

He looked at me like I was speaking another language.

“I said can you watch Will-“

“I heard what you said Johnathan but why talk to me now? You’ve had the last day to talk to me, now that you want something I’m your best friend?”

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water gasping for breath.

“You know what Johnathan I don’t mind watching him tomorrow night, all I’m going to say to you is don’t just talk to me when you want something.”

He nodded mumbling a sorry then walking out my room without another word.

I sighed and decided to pick out my outfit for Monday. I knew it was only Saturday, I wanted to make sure I looked my best for Monday.

After I picked the outfit I was cleaning the house when Will had come rushing out of his room, he threw on his coat but as soon as he opened the door I stopped him.

“Hey little bro what’s the rush?”

He stopped in a halt turning to look at me flashing me a smile.

“Oh just over to mike wheelers, mom knows I’ll be back before ten okay?”

I looked at him and raised a brow then decided to pretend hurt.

“Oh okay I guess I’m too lame to hang out with now.”

Panic was written all over his face as he shook his head no at me.

“N-no not at all it’s just we have a DND campaign we started, the guys wouldn’t understand because we all promised we wouldn’t miss a campaign.

“Alright well did you let Johnathan know cause I have to work so I’ll see you later okay?”

He smiled then nodded at me.

“Yes Sara Johnathan knows I love you, I’ll see you later.”

I smiled then gasped.

“Will wait.”

He turned around halfway out the door, raised his eyebrow at me.

“Yes Sara?”

“You forgot our brother sister handshake.”

He quickly ran over to me then, put out his hand then I slapped his palm, we both put our hands in front of us like we were holding wants to hop around in a circle then hooked both of our pinkies together then kissed the side of our hand then he ran out the door.

“Love you Sara.”

I smiled after him leaving out the front door whispering to myself.

“Love you too nerd.”

A/N: sorry this took so long I was trying to make it perfect even though I feel like it’s not please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list request are open thanks. ~Destiny ❤️

#steve harrington au #steve harrington #steve harrington x oc #joe keery #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x imagine #steve harrington fic

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dearestpandababe · 4 years

Text

The Outting by Maeve MD (please credit)

The only time Grandma was ever seemed happy was when she was with Aunt Lynn. In all the family pictures with them, her smile appeared more genuine. After my Grandpa left her, Grandma closed off when the family came around. I think she was so entwined in her old fashion views, that even though she wasn’t happy with Grandpa, she couldn’t stand the idea of divorce. I also believe the fact Aunt Lynn never married made Grandma feel less like an outcast. They didn’t have a blood relation, but they took care of each other.  

I remember when I was younger, I would rush to see Grandma as a little kid does, and I remember wanting to make her laugh as much as Aunt Lynn made her laugh. I envied her. Instead, Grandma would smile a fake smile and give an awkward side hug. Then, she sent me on my way to play with my cousins. I grew up asking my cousins if they felt like she separated herself from us and they agreed. It seemed like she distanced herself the most with me. My cousins told me little tokens of information that she told them throughout the years, but when I stayed with her the silence was heavy enough to feel on my chest. On occasions, she asked the obligatory questions about school, work, and love. Other than that, we sat in silence, while I waited for her to give me my token of information.

Now, the only information I get about Grandma is through all the pictures and books piled around the living room. Grandma’s house didn’t have many things, but still enough to make it a week event cleaning it. Going through her things was surreal since I didn’t know her that well. When she passed, I was shocked more than hurt. How could I have been hurt? I didn’t know her, and she didn’t try to know me. I felt guilty about taking advantage of the freedom I had during the night to go through her things. For years, I wondered who she was and what made her so reserved. I wanted to know the person that never came to the Grandparents Days at school. 

I reached the end of another box filled of photos, newspapers, and decorative cards. I’ve heard of people talking about their loved ones sensing when their time was coming, but Grandma seemed to have planned for her passing at any moment. Everything in her house was cleaned and organized. She had large boxes labeled by years, then those boxes held smaller boxes. Aunt Lynn told me how every 5 years she would have to help Grandma lug the large boxes to the attic, only for a new box to be started. Grandma wanted to make it easy for us to get all the photos and memories we wanted to keep out when she was gone.

I pushed the empty box away after sorting all the stuff and got up to investigate Grandma’s office. Since her room told me nothing about her, it only made sense she kept her personal things in there. When I flipped the office light on the polished mahogany bookshelves and matching desk beamed. I noticed that the case with glass doors was lined with journals. I pulled on the handles, but to no surprise it didn’t budge. I let out a “fuck.”  

The other bookshelf had classics lining the shelves and the top of her desk only had mundane decorations. I sat in the plush, black swivel chair and did what anyone would do. Spin. After a few moments of trying to spin myself so that maybe my brain would get dizzy enough to release some serotonin, I started looking in the drawers of the desk. I shuffled through papers, paper clips, stamps, and envelopes. Nothing. 

 I reached the last drawer and saw a notebook labeled for this year and underneath it was a book labeled for 2005. That was the year Grandma and Grandpa split. That really hurt us as a family, but I remember their wedding anniversary. I smiled at the vague memory. I remember running around with my cousins and napping. I opened the journal to August 5th to see only a paragraph, if that. It read “Of all the fucking days, it had to be this one! And of all the people it had to be my damn grandchild! Everything is ruined because of Jenna. She had to walk in on me with Lynn. At the wedding anniversary! She had to tell Richard ‘I saw grandma kissing Aunt Lynn’. I know it’s not really her fault she’s young. She thinks Lynn and I are sisters. She doesn't understand kissing, or anything for that matter. But she’s ruined everything. Richard wants a divorce now. And I can’t really blame him. In reality, it’s all on me. I love Richard, but I don’t love him. I can finally be with Lynn, but I lost my best friend in the process. And I hate that I put him through this.” 

I felt myself being strangled. I had ruined her life. I didn’t remember that day well, but I remember that shortly after their anniversary Grandma and Grandpa divorced. I felt myself become flush and my eyes well up. I caused them to split up. I outed Grandma. The lights in the room shut off, and the glass doors of the bookshelf shattered. I ran to the living room to see papers being thrown everywhere by an invisible force, like watching a little kid kicking stacks of papers during a tantrum. I tried to run to my cell phone, but I was slammed to the ground by something falling on my back. 

 I heard voices and sirens blaring. I couldn’t see anything, but I could tell I was in an ambulance. The back doors to the truck flew open and the light form the sun came in. I had been unconscious in the house by myself for hours. The gurney rolled out and the nurses ran me inside. I could hear one shouting “Her name is Jenna! She has brain swelling from a ceiling fan falling and crushing her! We have no idea how long she has been out!” 

I rolled by the waiting room and saw the tv go static and then flick back on as I passed. When I got into the operating room, they hooked me up to machines and put me on a gas mask. As I lost consciousness again, I saw the shadow of an older women on the wall. She stood there while everyone hustled around me. The EKG machine went out, and then all the lights went with it. The shadow drew closer. I knew her. I knew her well. Grandma came closer, and then there was nothing. 

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sorenmarie87 · 5 years

Text

Ichigo Ichie

Summary: There’s a secret that you’ve been keeping from your parents.

Square Filled: florist!Misha (AU)

Pairing(s)/Character(s): Misha x Daughter!Reader (Platonic). Misha x Vicki. Mentions of West and Maison. Wren (OMC). Jordan (OF/MC)

Word Count: 1,653

Warning(s): Consensual sex (just talked about). Secrets being kept from Misha and Vicki.

A/N: This was written for @spnaubingo. Also shout out to the lovely @fictionalabyss for betaing this <3

I do not own any of the pictures I used in my aesthetic.

SPN AU Bingo

You were adopted by Misha and Vicki when you were a baby.

During the summer, instead of playing outside like a normal kid, you’d spend time with Misha while he worked at his flower shop. He taught you everything there was to know about flowers. If you weren’t glued to his side while he was working, you were wandering around the shop.

“When you grow up, my little cherry blossom, you can be anything you want.” He would always tell you that before he kissed the crown of your head and you would always smile up at him.

Over the years, Misha’s flower shop expanded. They bought the building next door and turned it into a small cafe and bookshop. That was the reason you wanted to major in business when you went to college.

There was one secret you kept from your parents though. It all started with a graduation party your best friend was throwing.

Drinks were flowing, and music was blaring. You on the other hand, were watching him from across the room. He was in one of your core classes. You always thought he was handsome but you could never work up the courage to talk to him. With encouragement from one of your friends, you finally talked to him and that night, you went home with him. The next morning, you woke up alone, so you slipped on what clothes you could find and got the hell out of there. Little did you know that nine months later, you’d give birth to your one and only son. “Welcome to the world, Wren Collins.”

It had been a long night and all you wanted to do was get some sleep. You picked up your cell and your finger hovered over Misha’s name. What if your parents were disappointed in you for not telling them about Wren? You didn’t regret that night all. “Just call him, Y/N.” You pressed the phone icon beside his name and put the phone up to your ear as it rang and rang. You sighed as it went to voicemail. "Hey dad. I know I've been too busy to visit these last few months and I'm sorry, but I'll be home in a few days. There's something we need to talk about." You hung up and went to check on Wren who was wiggling around in his crib.

“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” You called out as you unlocked the front door and smiled down at the little bundle in your arms. “I wonder where everyone is.” You turned on the television and made sure to turn the volume down so that it didn’t wake up Wren from his nap.

You must’ve fallen asleep yourself because you woke up to tiny feet kicking you in the thigh and Wren crying. “Well hello there mister, I see we’re awake now.” You cracked a smile before getting a good whiff of him. “Someone needs a butt change, doesn’t he? His sniffles were all you needed as an answer before pulling your diaper bag closer and taking a seat in front of the couch.

You were in the middle of changing Wren’s diaper when you heard the front slam open and two small bodies practically tackled you onto the floor. “Whoa guys, I’m excited to see you too but you need to be careful. Now where’s mom?”

Maison and West both pointed behind you as Vicki closed the front door. “West, Maison, what do you want for -” You were button up his onesie when Maison took a seat next to you on the floor.

“Is dat your baby, sissy?” You nodded as Maison leaned forward and kissed Wren on the forehead. “Hi baby, I’m Maison. I’m your aunt.”

“Does that make me an uncle? I’m too young to take care of a baby. I can barely take care of myself.” You chuckled as Wren started to fuss.

“Mom, why aren’t you saying anything?”

“I’m just surprised, baby.” You stood up with Wren in your arms and your way over to where she was standing. He reached his hand out and wrapped it around Vicki’s pointer finger. “We’ll talk about this later once your father gets home.”

“Okay. Hey mom, you wanna hold him?” She cooed at him as soon as you placed Wren in her arms. It was like the three of you didn’t exist. “What’s his name?”

“Wren.”

“He’s adorable.”

Misha was ecstatic that you were coming home to visit. He practically threw his phone after listening to your message. In the passenger seat of his car, was a bouquet of flowers he put together for you. He was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to change.

It’s the honking that takes him out of his thoughts. He presses the gas pedal and the car jolts forward, moving along with traffic. He drives by your favorite restaurant, the one he's always taken you to to celebrate small things like report cards, dance recitals, broken hearts or whenever you visit from college and he chuckles to himself, knowing exactly what you'd order because it's always the same.

He pulls into the right turning lane, when the car next to him honks its horn at him. Misha smiles and rolls his window down.

“Hey, Mr. Collins, you look excited. Is something happening at home?”

“Mr. Collins is my father Jordan, you know that.” He teased. “Y/N’s in town visiting.”

“Is her number still the same?” Jordan lightly blushed as they glanced up at the light. It was still red luckily.

“I’ll tell her to give you a call, okay?” Misha winked before he waved goodbye. The light turned green and he made his way home. He pulled into the driveway and smiled when he saw your car was parked there.

“DADDY’S HOME!!!” Maison and West practically darted out of the room when they heard the front door opening. You heard his chuckling from the next room and smiled before you wiped your palms on your jeans. You were nervous about what was going to happen.

"Daddy! Daddy, I'm an auntie now~” You were happy that Maison was excited. It was West’s comment that made you laugh out loud.

“Wait, if mommy's a grandma, does that make you a grandpa?" All Misha did was smile and nod at West’s comment but he was confused. He wasn’t old enough to be a grandfather. The moment he stepped into the living room and saw Vicki holding a baby, he froze. Misha stood there with a blank expression on his face and you knew something was wrong. His voice was quiet when he motioned to the flowers he was holding in his hands.

“I brought the wrong bouquet.”

“Dad?”

"Have you been here long? Have you eaten yet? Wait, are you breastfeeding? Because if you're breastfeeding you need to eat more, do you want me to cook something? You know what, I'll cook you something-"

“Dad, will you calm the f-” You didn't dare finish your sentence. Not with your two impressionable younger siblings around. "Please calm down. I’ll explain everything once Maison and West go to bed. Also, I promise you’ll get some bonding time with Wren okay? Until then, mom is - going to keep sniffing the top of his head?" Misha gave you a side hug and chuckled as he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Don't you judge me. Those two always smell like dirt, these days. I've missed this." "HEY! I HAD A BATH YESTERDAY.”

You were trying not to laugh at your parents. They were currently arguing over who got to hold Wren after you finished feeding him.

“Dad, will you give me a damn minute before you rip this kid off of my nipple.” Vicki chuckled behind you as she tossed Misha a burp cloth from your diaper bag. He draped it over his shoulder and was waiting patiently.

“Vicki has been hogging him. How’s he supposed to know who his grandpa is?” You shook your head with a smile forming on your face. As soon as Wren was finished eating, you handed him off to Misha. “Y/N/N… why didn’t you tell us about him sooner?”

“I-” You looked away from your parents and wrapped your arms around yourself. “I was scared that you’d be disappointed in me.”

“We could never be disappointed in you.”

“Wren’s father, did he force himself on you?”

“No. Everything was 100% consensual.” You were picking at the skin around your finger when Vicki wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “I had such a crush on him all semester and George invited him to her graduation party so I figured that was my one chance, you know?”

“Ichigo ichie.” Misha muttered to himself with a smile as Wren burped.

“Exactly.”

“See, watching all of those Japanese dramas with your old man paid off.” He bumped your shoulder and you smiled. “There’s nothing you could do that would make us love you any less - but if you ever murder someone, that’s the final straw.”

“Oh please, you’d help her hide the body and then start a mushroom patch over it.”

“Vic, why would you tell her that! I just had the backyard resodded. Now what will she do with the body? You know those two can’t keep a secret.”

“There’s mushrooms growing by the trees, daddy.” Maison was holding a blue narwhal with a moustache and monocle in her hands as she stood in the doorway. “Is there really a body buried in the backyard?”

“Of course there is.” You rolled your eyes as Maison crawled onto Vicki’s lap.

“Can we dig it up?”

“No way.”

You leaned forward so that you were level with Maison’s ear and whisper that the two of you could check it out when your parents were gone. She smiles with a quiet giggle. “West is gonna be so jealous.”

Forever Tags - @lovetusk @coffee-obsessed-writer@justballoonfishthings@mirajanefairytailmage@kazosa@wings-of-a-raven@docharleythegeekqueen@clockworkmorningglory@lefthologramdeer@ellen-reincarnated1967@holyfuckloueh@idreamofplaid@buckyscrystalqueen@ilovetaquitosmmmm@n3rdybird @super-fan-of-all-things@disneymarina@sandlee44@babykalika2001

#spnaubingo #MishaxReader (Platonic)#Misha Collins x Reader #Misha/Reader (Platonic)#Misha Collins/Reader #Reader Insert #RPF AU #Misha x Daughter!Reader

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deargenz-blog · 5 years

Text

The Night I Was Almost Kidnapped, Raped, & Killed

*NOT* Clickbait. A True Story | Read to the end.

There are no explicit depictions of violence, rape, or murder in this story.

Okay, this is a long one, BUT I promise that it’s important. Grab some tea and head on back here.

Ready? Alright, this is how it happened:

It was around 7 o’clock on a November night. I was on my way to rehearsal but I stopped to return something at the supermarket.

It was uncharacteristically busy for a weekday night and there was no parking to be found in the main lot so I parked in the side-section, perhaps about 30 feet from the main action.

There were dozens of people milling around in the front, which was well-lit. I was on a mission, so I wasted no time walking in and taking care of business. I walked back out and past several groups of people. I quickly walked back to my car, and in one swift motion, popped the lock, got in, and as my lock clicked, someone started banging on my passenger side window.

“Hey! Hey! Excuse me! Could you please help me?!”

I was driving a coupe at the time, and its stance was low to the ground. He never stooped to peer inside so I had to duck down to see who was talking to me. He was silhouetted by the lights behind him but I could tell he was young — early 20s — and he was dressed in casual clothes.

“Yes?” I replied.

“Could you please roll down your window?”

I eased the passenger window down about an inch.

“Could you open it more?”

I asked him about what he needed.

Very rapidly, he said:

“My family… we just ran out of gas. My grandma’s with us. We’re in that mini-van over there.”

He pointed behind where we were, gesturing towards the front of the store.

“Now we can’t get home. We need some help. Can you help us?”

He called over his shoulder.

“Yes! I’m just talking to her right now, Grandma! I’ll be right there!”

I started to turn to see who he was talking to. I had barely moved when he slammed on my passenger window again. BAM! BAM! BAM!

“Hey! Look at me! Look over here! Listen! I need you! Will you help us? We really need help!”

Now, let me tell you: there was no fucking way that I was getting out of that car, but I was genuinely confused.

“What are you asking?”

He replied: “I want you to give me a ride.”

I told him that I was sorry but, no.

“What do you mean? I told you that we need help. My grandma’s waiting in the car and we have no way to get home.”

And that’s when he tried opening my door. He pulled and pulled on the handle.

“Please, I need your help! I just need a ride! It won’t take that long!”

“No.”

I started my car and put it in reverse but before it could even roll, he muttered a bunch of expletives under his breath and stormed off.

I backed out of the spot and drove towards the exit, getting a good look at the front of the store that he had been gesturing towards. He had disappeared into the crowd and, of course, there was no mini-van to be found.

The exchange lasted no more than 2–3 minutes. It all happened very quickly.

And that’s because it was designed to.

* * *

When I got to the theater that night, I told my cast mates about what had happened. The gals in the cast thought it was “weird” and were relieved that they didn’t live near there.

I spoke to one of my best friends on the phone the next day to firm up plans for dinner. She lived about 15 minutes away from where it had happened. She dismissed the whole incident and assured me that she would be fine because she never went to that supermarket.

Not one of them got what the point was.

Additionally, you should know that when I reported the incident to the store, they told me that I “probably shouldn’t park there in the future because there aren’t any security cameras over there”, even though it’s where their employees are told to park, and yes, this was a major retailer.

That little jewel of information isn’t pivotal to this story — I just thought it was too ridiculous not to share.

The police were more receptive but still, since nothing had really happened, I was basically just reporting it to put it on their radar (you should always do that, no matter how silly you might feel, okay?).

* * *

There are 2 important points I want to make here:

The illusion of safety is shockingly compelling.

Muscle memory saved my life that night.

When I shared that story with people in my circle, I found it bizarre that these women all believed that they were safe as long as they didn’t go “there.” The store was located in a fine town that doesn’t routinely experience a large amount of violent crime. It’s a regular place, as common as they come. It could have happened anywhere and to anyone. It just happened to be me that night.

Believing that you can consider yourself protected as long as you stay away from certain places or don’t do certain things is incredibly dangerous. Following the “rules” can get you killed just as easily as breaking them does. It’s like when people find out that their next-door-neighbor’s a serial killer and they’re all like, “you know, I never would have guessed. He always seemed like such a nice guy...”

Because here’s the truth:

I did everything that I was supposed to do that night.

I parked in a spot as close as I could to the entrance of the store, it was in a well-lit area, I was aware of my surroundings, walked quickly to and from my car, and I locked my door the absolute second I got inside. There were many other people around that night but the idea of safety in numbers is also an illusion. Most people aren’t paying attention.

As I said, muscle memory saved my life that night. My entire childhood was my mom drilling in to me to be aware of my surroundings in public places and to always lock my door. She would literally quiz me in stores about the people around me to make sure I was paying attention. Think of the pilot for the show Psych — “how many hats are in the restaurant?” — that was my mom and me. I know that’s the exception, and not the rule — most people aren’t raised like that.

And yet, despite being as ninja-like as I had been taught to be, I never saw or heard him coming that night but he must have been damn close to get to my door as quick as he did. If I hadn’t thrown that lock, he still would have pawed the handle and would have been inside in a flash. I am so thankful for that habit.

* * *

So, the title of this post is: “The Night I Was Almost Kidnapped, Raped, and Killed” and right about now, you’re probably thinking that this was, in fact, massive clickbait on my part, because how could I possibly know if that would have indeed been my fate if anything had gone differently?

A few days after the incident, a news story broke: In several towns in my area— including the one that I was in that night — there were reports of a group of men targeting women in supermarket parking lots, where one of them would approach her and ask for help, and then they were abducted and raped. One of them managed to get away before they could kill her.

Always remember to lock your door, kids.

#violence #rape #feminism #intersectional feminism #social justice #assault #life #life advice

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nemossubmarine · 4 years

Text

Warhammer 40k: Wrath & Glory RP #22

Hey, it’s the start of a new adventure, and with the leaving of Gorm and addition of Vivek the party’s average height has gone down like 30%. I wonder if that’s going to be at all relevant?

There’s about a day or so in between Gorm and Uffe leaving and anything interesting happening. Vivek and Saef spend it together.

Vivek has decided to stay at Saef’s room, since he rather not take a stranger’s room and Gimlet lives between Gorm and Saef, so taking Gorm’s room won’t do either.

Saef’s cool with this.

They hang out and talk, Saef explains what has gone down at Dew Mountain (Vivek doesn’t explain at all about what has happened with him :P).

Saef also mentions to Vivek that the Inquisitor has arranged him a teacher in all that psyker stuff.

Vivek questions what might be the end goal of such an education.

Saef shrugs and says he only wants to keep the Inquisitor happy for now.

Vivek warns him that it’s plenty easy to get conscripted in a world such as this, so it might be relevant for Saef to ask about that before he gets drafted for something he doesn’t want to.

Saef says ”thanks dad”, which flusters Vivek a bit.

He tells him to get a better father figure.

Saef shrugs and says that he somehow has managed to get quite a few dads, Gimlet, Vivek, his actual dad, who’s also on ship.

Saef opens up to Vivek about how awkward the whole thing has been, having his family on board.

He mostly tries to avoid them, because he’s pretty sure his family doesn’t want to see him.

Vivek shrugs and says it might not be the case, but if this is what Saef is most comfortable with.

Meanwhile, Gimlet stays inside his room and avoids Vivek the best he can.

But let’s cut to the actual happening-ons, Saef gets a text from Molly, where Molly asks him to get his friends and meet her at the teleporter. She has a favor to ask. Saef gathers Vivek and Gimlet and off they go.

Molly explains that there’s an Imperial cargo ship adrift in space and it’s been calculated to hit Santa Maria within an hour.

Santa Maria is planning on blowing it up, but Molly would like to take a peek at what the cargo is and whether it could be sold for cash-money.

Namely she wants Saef and co to do it, and they have only about half an hour to do so before Santa Maria blows the ship up.

So any ideas?

Vivek suggests them hopping onto the ship and fixing the engine if it’s broken.

Good idea, but there’s one problem. His name is Jimbo, he’s the new teleporter guy (RIP Paul, you are missed). He needs to be gotten out of the room so Molly can teleport our folks.

Molly says all he knows about Jimbo is that he really, really likes space golf.

Vivek asks if anyone knows anything about space golf a little too loud, and Jimbo (from the other side of the room) asks if someone mentioned space golf.

Vivek grits his teeth for a bit, then turns on his smile and goes to talk with Jimbo.

You see, Vivek is a space golf enthusiast but doesn’t actually know much about it, maybe Jimbo could teach him.

Jimbo suggests they meet up for a coffee after his shift. Vivek agrees, and then tries to get Jimbo to show him his club right now, so he could talk golf better?

Yeah it doesn’t work. So Vivek agrees that it’s a date.

Jimbo gets quite flustered at that, he didn’t mean it as a date.

Vivek pulls rank on Jimbo, saying that he’s a corporal of the Mechanicum army (technically still true?) and he doesn’t do or tolerate that kind of behavior (it wasn’t a date-date, it was we’ll meet there at this time and date-date), so maybe Jimbo could go and report to his supervisor about what he just did. Jimbo, defeated, does so.

Vivek turns to the others and asks if he was flirting with the dude.

The general consensus seems to be yes.

Well, nevermind that, Molly starts working the teleporter and sends the trio in one by one (in order Vivek, Saef, Gimlet).

Our heroes teleport into a tight corridor of the ship. There’s a siren blaring and smell of blood in the air.

Also, Saef recognizes the smell of tyranids.

When he informs the others of this, Vivek says that his grandparents were killed by tyranids, to which Saef points out that his whole home planet was just decimated by tyranids.

They pull out their weapons and start sneaking forward.

There’s a window showing to the cargo room and Saef sees shadows moving inside.

Upon letting everyone know, they duck so as to not let the people (or most likely xenos) inside know what’s up.

There’s blood and servitor parts littering the room, and a broken down servo skull that Vivek checks out.

It’s clear that our heroes can’t avoid the battle forever.

Vivek asks what’s their usual battle plan.

Saef says they usually just let Gorm go first, and then follow after him.

Unfortunately there’s no Gorm around, so one of them has to go first.

Vivek gets up, catches glimpse of the first genestealer (of two) and blasts off its lower left arm with a devastating blow.

This is for my grandma, he says as he does it. It’s pretty cool, eyy.

Saef gets up next and shoots the same genestealer, killing it.

There’s a second genestealer still left.

Gimlet shoots at it, and also manages to blast off its lower left arm, very cool-like.

Unfortunately it doesn’t quite die and it charges through the new broken windows at the closest victim, which is Vivek.

It gets stuck in the window, but manages to attack Vivek quite severely (altho Skitarii don’t bleed, so who’s to say).

Saef comes in to beat it up with his bludgeon. It’s quite shocking.

Gimlet shoots at it over Vivek’s shoulder but the genestealer has not yet gone down.

It attacks both Vivek and Saef with its next attack. Ouch.

Vivek has noticed that there’s a pipe of some sort going above them, and he pulls off the vent of it with his magnetic abilities (dude’s one big magnet if need be).

The pipe turns out to be a pipe for gasoline and it douses the genestealer.

Saef manages to step out of the way in time to not get doused.

Vivek then lights up a cigarette and drops his lighter into the gas, lighting the poor genestealer aflame (but it looks damn cinematic).

The genestealer rushes back out of the window and dies on the cargo bay floor.

Combat’s over, yay!

Gimlet goes to give Saef some first aid.

Vivek wanders off to check the other stuff in the hallway, which turns out to be a skeleton of a small child with a small bunny plushie next to it.

Vivek loots it and then goes to examine the cargo bay.

Gimlet offers Vivek first aid as well, but Vivek says he’s fine.

Both Gimlet and Saef can see this is not the case.

Saef asks Vivek to accept some medical attention, ”for me buddy?”

Vivek pulls Saef aside a bit, and notes that Gimlet’s the reason he currently wanders around without an arm and an eye, so he doesn’t exactly trust him to get anywhere near his wires.

But fine, he’ll do what Saef asks, as long as Saef keeps an eye on Gimlet.

Vivek asks Gimlet to take a look at the spot where the Genestealer’s hit has driven a piece of his armor into his side and Gimlet does so, without any fuss.

Vivek thanks Gimlet.

Then they turn their attention to the cargo. Vivek and Saef open some of the boxes of cargo in the room.

All seem to contain guns that Saef recognizes being used by gangers on Dew Mtn.

Well, there’s plenty of them, but is this what Molly was hoping, who knows.

But first a more pressing matter, turning the ship back on.

Our heroes make their way to the engine room where Vivek and Saef immediately show their ignorance on all things technical (Vivek offers to say some prayers).

Gimlet points out that the engine isn’t broken, it’s just turned off and it’s easiest to turn that back on from the control panel, in the cockpit.

So that’s where our heroes head.

The doors to the cockpit are jammed shut but there’s holes from guns littering the door and one hole big enough for our heroes to get through.

Inside they find several dead genestealers as well as a dead space marine, who’s body has been eaten from inside his power armor.

Gimlet immediately recognizes the space marine’s armor and says it’s a Red Corsair, a type of Chaos Space Marine known for pirating.

Vivek puts out his cigarette on the dude’s armor.

Gimlet turns the engine on and everything's smooth sailing, except the gas light is on, for some reason hmm…

Saef and Vivek go attempt to put the panel Vivek tore off back on, but it’s too high up so Gimlet comes to help, lifting Saef up to get the panel back on.

That figured out they return back to the cockpit and notice that the ship was on autopilot, heading somewhere in Dew Mtn and it’s now asking if that should be continued.

Saef calls Molly and let’s her know that the cargo is shitty cheap ganger guns, and also a chaos space marine.

Molly is a bit surprised at that, it is an Imperial cargo ship after all.

She leaves getting rid of them to Saef.

So, can our heroes sell these totes illegal guns to someone?

Saef says he knows a weapon sales’ person by the name of Sheila on Civitas A.

She dealt guns to a lot of gangers, from similar crates.

Unfortunately she is super-annoying, but it’s worth a shot to check if she’s still alive and in the business.

Vivek takes the pilot’s seat (well co-pilot’s seat as the Red Corsair is on the pilot’s seat proper).

Gimlet investigates the body of the Red Corsair more carefully.

He finds the Corsair’s bolter and on it ascribed the name ”Nemeroth”, who Gimlet knows to be a Red Corsair warlord that supposedly died 120 years ago.

Saef carries some of the bodies out of the cockpit to give them room to manage the ship.

As he does so, he hears some kind of mechanical sound coming from underwater, or under gasoline in this case.

He follows it and finds the servo skull that is attempting to make some kind of sound, but its speaker is broken.

Saef brings the skull to Gimlet to look over.

There is a radio on the ship that Vivek has turned on.

Apparently Red Corsairs are really into metal.

But the skull could be hooked up to the speakers as well.

As Gimlet fiddles with the skull, he asks Vivek whether Uffe has a crush on him or not.

Vivek seems quite taken aback by the question, asking on what observation Gimlet is basing this on, he has only ever seen Vivek and Uffe together twice, and it’s not like Gimlet has any particular great insight into what kind of person Uffe is like.

Gimlet is quite persistent at the point.

Vivek points out that Space Marine’s don’t do romance / sex anyway, so he must be mistaken.

Saef chimes in about these books he’s read that say something quite different.

Vivek makes the point that those have been written by people who find Space Marines attractive, plenty of those around, Vivek may or may not belong in that category (just because he likes a man who could snap him in half with one hand…), don’t mean they are accurate to what happens in real life.

As they are arguing the point, Gimlet hooks up the skull into the speakers and it starts blasting off a message about Elysium and Grand Inquisitor Fane.

Vivek asks if this Fane person is a friend of Gimlet’s.

Gimlet says an Inquisitor by the name of Fane did live, 120 years ago.

So is this some kind of time travel thing?

Saef goes to check out the weapons and comes to the conclusion they have been made maybe two months ago, max.

So at least those aren’t from the past.

There’s also the question of servitors, as far as Vivek can see, they’re not official Triplex Phall -variety, so someone’s making unofficial servitors, great.

Gimlet is also worried since Grand Inquisitor isn’t a title in the Inquisition.

Vivek suggests perhaps this Fane fellow liked to be called a Grand Inquisitor in bed (eyebrow waggle).

Gimlet doesn’t really get what Vivek is saying so Vivek calls him a bit of a virgin.

Gimlet leaves the cockpit.

Saef stays with Vivek and teases him about Uffe a bit more, though Vivek can see that Saef is just ribbing him.

He does admit that Uffe is kinda cute, Saef says he doesn’t really see it, but ”you do you”.

And that’s all for the first session of this adventure. Plenty of mysteries abound. Next time, some weapons selling and possibly something more.

#nemo roleplays #campaign tag: the spacehulk of the happy and free #long post #wag rp #wag rp writeup #great start!#enjoying it a lot so far #man vivek has managed to be more cool in one session than cahair has been in like 5 years :D #vivek who doesnt actually have much battlefield experience or nothing #but i guess burning ppl's always cool #also vivek's kind of a dick #but vivek was always meant to be a bit of a dick #that's what you get when you write ppl who just dont get along with other ppl #someone's gonna start looking like a dick #or both #to be clear talking about kuru's and vivek's relationship here #altho gimlet can be a bit of a dick occasionally #insisting that another dude totes has a crush on you #when you don't like either of the people involved #or really know them #since it's not like gimlet in character would have any reason to be invested in vivek's and uffe's relationship #well at least vivek reads it as mean-spirited #will have to see if vivek's gonna have to have a serious conversation about that with gimlet #saef's not a dick yay #everyone loves saef dot jpeg dot org #good times good times

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commonalex · 5 years

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Aphrodite

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aphrodite by common alex

Listen/download: aphrodite by common alex

They really caught my eye by mistake. Couldn’t even make out what was really happening because of the slow daybreak; when I finished parking she was already laid down on the parking lot and this old fuck with his black-as-a-crow dyed hair and this filthy white shirt was stomping her sides. I shout till I get noticed by this dusty boned ass and his halloweeny mustache he rocks in this late September. I sprint (well, supposedly, my lungs aren’t as light as they used to) and he flinches as if he shat his pants towards a old green Citroen bumped to pieces. I swear he was this close getting his ass beat.

-You shouldn’t have done that.

-Are you… okay, lady? Hey, easy easy. No sudden moves, I got a first aid kit back at the truck.

-Oh no. No, don’t you ”lady” me.

With these dark brunette hair, this long black kimono robe tied by her waist and these thick sunglasses hiding her eyes, her age must be somewhere around fifty, maybe less. I see no blood, though, only on her bottom lip and her back from the asphalt; the rest are just bruises by hand or by shoe. I put some old band aids I found along some other (close to be expired) shit and help her to stand while being a bit scared she is way more hurt internally. But even though she stands alright there’s something about her that doesn’t seem quite right.

-Don’t scratch that, let it dry out. What about a hospital, a doctor? Is there anything like that close from here?

-What do you think, big boy?

That I made a stupid question. Why on earth would there be a hospital close to a truck station on the highway? There’s not even a restaurant around here anymore. We barely get a cup of shitty coffee along with overpriced snacks and a chance to piss with the constant risk of getting infected of something too fucked up for science to give it a name yet.

-Where’s your car?

-I don’t have a car.

-Were you brought here?

The sunglasses slowly fell from her straight lined nose for me to see her smudged eyes guiding me to the right. There really was no car. Only an abandoned gas station, a really creepy playground overgrown by weeds and grass and an old caravan, five by three meters with a blue stripe on its side. I look at her for confirmation and I walk her slow as one can go to let her sit on a cheap travel armchair right besides the open wide door of the caravan.

-I’m… Aphrodite. And you?

Her hesitation right before her name has successfully rang every single bell in existence.

-Does it matter?

She seems unbothered. Knowing my name or not is just the same to her, so to speak; as long as I don’t ask any questions about this pasty prick hitting her a few moments ago.

-Well you’re right about that. How old are you?

-Thirty-three.

-Good for you, you seem nothing like your age. You could tell me you’re twenty six, I’d believe you.

Wow, she’s really into talking, isn’t she? So much she tries to pull a second chair for me beside her. I take a sec to understand if all this a way of flirting or just an awkward compliment used instead for “thanks” because I was at the wrong place at the right moment.

-Sorry, you caught me at work. A long drive to Romania, really, and if I don’t stick to schedule they’ll come for my ass.

Still, unphased.

But she keeps on digging to me.

-Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot. I mean have you ever seen anyone that you try chatting with them and they aren’t in any rush?

Aphrodite seems kind enough to relieve me from my puzzled face by opening and closing her robe as she speaks, as if I, an engaged dude with two babies back home, am all about that shit right now. And even if I was, just by looking at her breast and legs I get a weird feeling. So I play dumb until she gets tired of trying. She doesn’t. And this woman was lying on a parking lot ten minutes ago.

-Look, I can’t help with anything else. And besides, how can I put it, I don’t really…

She catches up and cuts me off from the worst.

-What you “don’t really”. Fuck hookers or fuck trans?

I can’t stress enough how embarrassed I got between these seconds. For sure I didn’t want to put it like that, but how could I say that without saying it? I simply nodded. She seemed like she understood though. She ties her robe back and drags me to chit chat once again (because she couldn’t drag me inside that greasy caravan), beginning to unfold the story of her life. Literally. Awkward as fuck, but I’d lie if I wasn’t intrigued with her.

She said she was born in a rural town far from here, raised by her “holy as a woman can ever be” grandma Aphrodite (that’s where the name comes from)- she tells me that exact thing about three times. I’m asking for her parents and then waiting her to finish with the endless cursing towards them just so the story continues to the point she reaches fourteen years old. Right there is where she, without a warning, runs away from home to Salonika, the closest big city she could afford to start selling her body.

-I’d be lying if I ever said I didn’t get comfy with work, especially the first few clients. After the initial stress dies down you wait for the instinct of habit. I swear, you could spend a week in this job and nothing would ever surprise you anymore. You can’t imagine what kinds of filth and secrets lie outside. Kinky psychos showing up with their wedding rings on, notorious pimps spending all morning on a tv show asking “where is this country really going with all this filth“, priests. Well, you heard nothing about priests yet, I tell you that.

Aphrodite, an adult now, eventually grows far too big for Salonika and makes a trip down to Athens (as she always intended), finding only more filth and misery inside a poorly lit basement with other prostitutes. Her desperation keeps on popping up here and there for a while because she couldn’t predict things turning so damn shitty and unbearable. She stacks her money little by little and she finally gets her surgery.

-And how was thing afterwards?

-Deep inside I knew this was my time; with the body I should have had. And the best thing was that no new client could ever understand the difference, and even if he did that was the last thing he was concerned with. I was ahead of everyone else in there- all of them. But little did I care about all that, I was made for greater things. I didn’t plan to stay in that fucking basement any longer, getting fucked by the lowest of people. That’s why I got my head down and worked my ass off until I could make a name of myself, until I could make not enough money but the real money. And that was what really got the best of me in the end, I think.

She then “moves” to the biggest red light district of Athens (I mean, of course, where else could she really be, right?) and that’s the point where her story really turns sketchy. Whatever she told me to this minute might be a bit cliche, but still believable. Now she runs over all that, telling me to believe that she managed to get so big she turned to a highly paid escort for rich and powerful people like that (which I guess you could say is plausible, given that she indeed would be beautiful at some point). Just the names and zeros she dropped on the table makes me suspicious as hell. But this isn’t the end, she continues with her Mercedes car she owned and took rides with back at her grandma’s place or with how she was personally invited every time the american fleet stopped in Rhodes and Crete. Like she’s living in a goddamn movie.

-So things get really, and I mean really busy, am I right?

-It didn’t take long for magazines and tv shows for nosy people to notice me. Those were the days, I tell you. You remember the checks I used to get previously? Well you wouldn’t even imagine those. I was called the “trannie”, the “pure Satan offspring”, the “biggest mistake of the nature”- really whatever. I’m still laughing. By the time the camera was switching off everyone was begging for a photoshoot or an interview like their life depended on it. You can’t just pass this opportunity to get famous. It’s as strong as a drug. All this attention, all those lights really make you feel like you’re doing something good at last.

How much time could have passed for the sun to come out full force, burning my back like a motherfucker? I take a peek at my watch and I see it’s quarter past ten. Shit. I really should be going by now. How do I cut it out for her, hoping that she will eventually go to the doctor by herself? How do I escape her mouth from talking so slow or her eyes from following me like a predator’s?

-That’s alright and all, but...

-I know, you can’t tell right now, but everyday I was getting calls and visits from designers at my house by the shore to ask me if I would wear their shit. Yeah, I reached that peak. I mean, would you believe me if I told you I stumbled upon Dolce & Gabbana at the airport? Giving me their cards and all?

No. No I wouldn’t believe you.

-That’s all nice and dandy, Aphrodite, but something’s missing. I mean, what are you doing here? Like, for real.

You can’t make me believe she didn’t expect this to come up eventually, but here she is acting like that. Leaving sighs and staring into nothingness. Her voice even changes up a bit, gets a more serious tone to it, out of the blue.

-Do you really believe prostitutes tend to think about the future? I mean, really? Do they make plans of retirement or something? Especially the trans ones. Let me tell you, most of them can’t even think about making it to thirty, either from someone or themselves. I, personally, chickened out twice and got rescued three times, and you’re coming here telling me if I ever thought I would be here during my old days?

-With all these things you casually spill out of doing in the ‘90s you should be standing above thousands, even millions, with all of the doors wide open for you. What happened? How could you go from a house by the shore, a Mercedes and all these interviews to, you know… This?

Where, just to remind you, this is a fucked up caravan besides the highway where old fucks are coming to kick her in the neck.

-”What happened”. Like I never asked that to myself. I’m here, sitting and telling you a stuff or two about myself and you have the nerve to pull a “what happened”. What could have happened, big boy? What do you believe?

She seems really sensitive that not only I interrupted her story but in addition I questioned the lies she spices it with. Welp, what can you do, I already threw half of my morning out of the window with this one, we’re only left to see where is she going with all these delusions of her amazingly faked past. Like I have any time to spare.

-Tell me.

-It must be the place, dunno. You, for example, came here maybe for a piss stop and then back to work. And what a demanding work; holding a wheel until you don’t. But what about the whores? Whores got a body to maintain till its expiration date. After that, game over; again, if the make it there. If disgust hasn’t eaten them alive by then. If insecurities about everything starting to loosen up, or the ringing of the phone that eventually will go silent, or reaching the point of begging to keep on living cause family is not an option anymore. They go nuts, you see, they hold on from anything they can reach just to keep on feeling that all this they are going through really mattered. Just to keep on feeling like they are valued.

-So is this why you’re staying here? To feel like this matters? To get beaten up by old fucks and internally accepting it? Why don’t you ask for help?

-This is help. This old fuck is the only one that comes around and throws a penny for me to maintain myself. He’s the only one that fucks me, anyway. That’s why I’m here, for him- it’s his caravan after all. He lives about twenty minutes from here with a wife, kids and grandkids. He just likes to “get it out of his system” once every few days by fucking for free and beating me whenever I mention that I can’t do this anymore, because he is afraid that his whore isn’t loyal to him. But why am I saying all these things to you. I’m wasting my words. You still don’t believe me.

I don’t know where her truth and lies stand anymore, only that if she really lived all these things she’s a massive fool for not writing a book. I, for once, took too much of my time for all this crap. When I started heading back to the track she switched to her first ways, telling me that “I’m doing the right thing” or that the old guy with the mustache “really has a gun and doesn’t mess around”. Yeah, whatever. I get in and peep Aphrodite behind the window waiting on the chair for me to go but something inside makes it hard for me to start the truck. It’s quarter to eleven but her endless chatter seem to get my weariness going. As time passes and the truck stays still, Aphrodite eventually heads back to the caravan shutting the door behind her. I’m kinda relieved. But I’m still madly curious, what can I do? Ah, fuck it, Romania can wait a bit more. I pull out my phone and search blindly, trying to find anything at all.

Aphrodite.

Trans.

Prostitute.

‘90s.

Modeling.

Enter.

I couldn’t feel anything less than a dick at this point. It seems unreal. Not only she was legit, but she toned things down a little in her story. The photoshoots were indeed professional and stunning, while I found an interview of her on an ancient tv talk show I never really knew existed where she explains how much her life changed due to the massive exposure she got at this point. Same as today, minus the touches of time on her. But most of all happy. Really all this attention made her bloom ridiculously. Magazine covers, runways, pageants; all enough to back up not only Aphrodite's public existence but also her relations with really established and rich individuals. And all of there as cute as hell, but where did all these money go? Well, the answer lies to a more recent past, this time inside tabloid news articles.

Only three to four year ago, Aphrodite spawns once again, this time in Jerusalem (what the fuck) in order to get closer with her faith and a highly respected priest there. So damn respected that people wouldn’t stop to talk about their “secret” meetings late at night, to the point where photos and videos leak publicly. Result? These tabloid fucks smell the blood from far, far away and get to hunting the story. The priest goes public, says “sorry guys, my mistake, Satan trapped me and such, didn’t want to, sorry again, peach to all”, gets thrown away from the local church and that was pretty much the end. Aphrodite on the other hand vanishes once again up until this point, right here, on this parking lot besides the highway.

I guess that’s what she meant with that “you heard nothing about priests yet” earlier. Maybe I should have listen more carefully or see her face better in order to recognize her from all this priest thing that blew up literally everywhere back then. Either way, my curiosity stopped killing me but guilt took over me. With my route schedule gone to the shitter already, I knock her caravan door till she opens with death in her eyes. I show her the interview I found on my phone.

-It’s you, isn’t it?

-That’s really a shame, big boy. What do you do with all these truck stuff. You should be working for NASA by now.

I was wrong before. This point right here is where I can’t feel anything less than a dick.

She invited me inside and made me sit right across a really slow fan that was spinning just for the aesthetics in order to make me feel less of a sweaty pig. The caravan looks way more comfy on the inside with a massive bed and a narrow sofa but the mountains of hoarding shit and snack packaging lying around here and there do no favors. It’s a good option for holidays, but absolutely not for regularly living inside of it. Aphrodite doesn’t seem to bother with my snoopy eyes. She holds the phone with both hands while carrying the cold look. As if she doesn’t recognize herself. As if she doesn’t want to.

-When was that?

-Not sure. ‘95? Later than that? I only recall just how rude and creepy this interviewer was. He didn’t hit on me or anything like that, it’s just that he was always an ass kisser in front of you and a shit talker behind your back. I didn’t get how much crude and sarcastic he was in that interview until years later. Now that I think of that, I guess everyone were kind of the same. But these were different times, more fabulous, more sparkly, more…. Innocent? I guess innocent isn’t the right word for it.

Then I show her the article about the priest. She kinda leaves a bitter smile there. She might no look exactly happy but nevertheless she must understood that in the end I kinda cared and dug up her whole history to make it up for myself after treating her like shit. She silently accepts it, even though with her fair share of reservations this time.

-That’s the most recent I could find, there’s nothing next to that. Would you mind telling me what happened next?

-One day my head was about to explode. I couldn’t do this anymore. All I wanted was to somehow save my soul from this pit of crap I ended up, and the idea stuck to me the moment I accidentally found grandma’s cross among my stuff. That was really it. I quit the job, closed my phone and traveled to churches and monasteries, throwing money around to buy a seat next to God. Turns out I found my Devil, though.

She’s way more reserved than before. I get that all of this might still cut deep and talking about it hurts like a bitch. I tell her she doesn’t really have to say anything she doesn’t want to and I am ready to leave her alone if she asks me to. She calmed my anxious ass with a simple nod.

-And the videos?

-I leaked them. I told you prostitutes don’t think about the future. I couldn’t even think about today at this point of my life; I was really in a shitty place. The priest wanted to go big, a bishop or something like that, and to do that she had to dump me. Like I was the one flirting with him in the first place. And he was the one supporting me, so what the fuck would I do there alone? That’s where a magazine came to me, no idea of its name, put money on my hand for the footage and came back with these money, just so nothing would remind of everything that played out down there. As you’d expect, money didn’t last forever. So I got to a point where I was like “what can I do”? I could never be a beggar and I could never go back to a brothel without people laughing at me, so I went from one old friend to another until someone finally decided to help.

-Someone. Like a cunt.

-Yeah, a cunt, I don’t know. It’s better than nothing.

I ran out of words. I’m no longer curious, no longer so guilty and for sure don’t feel pity for her. I can only say “good luck” and “take care” to her as I walk out; even though neither of these hold any value for her situation. She didn’t wanna hop on the truck because she didn’t feel like she has anywhere to go. I try to make her understand that anywhere is better than this misery and abuse. She responds somewhat philosophical, telling me that who knows, maybe someone might come up on this truck stop and can actually help her. Give her money to live or anything else she needs and then taking he-...

-Aphrodite! Out! Now!

The shouting from outside got her eyes open wide, staring at the door for a good second. I never believed I could see her scared shitless.

-You shouldn’t have done that, I told you so.

-Is this him?

I didn’t need an answer to that. Her bottom lip shaking like her jaw’s about to fall gives me all the information I need. She pulls my hand from the door to stop me. Too bad I already decided my approach. I smile at her to stop her from panicking and jump out with sun hanging above me. Ten meters on the left there’s the green Citroen with one door open and a bit closer there’s the old bastard standing a bit closer with a shotgun resting in his hands. The truck is straight ahead, forty steps or so. It’s just a sprint as the worst case scenario, big deal. Either way I bet his shaky hands could even load before shooting. Ha, there it is, haven’t I told you, he dropped the fucking shotgun. Ten more steps and hello Romania. I only feel bad that I didn't have the time to greet her for the last time before I go. I yell "goodbye" as I'm running but my voice isn't coming out at all. But again how could it be heard right here, right now with all those bang bang bang bang b…

The only thing I can make out of all this noise is her screaming from the back.

-No! Oh God!

#poetryriot #24hoursopen #abstractcommunity #poetryportal #twcpoetry #writerscreed #savage-words #illustrans #recognizingthevoiceless #bitsofstarglow #electricexhibition #story #short story #prose #prose poetry #writing #dialogue #poets on tumblr

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troublemoi · 6 years

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Beautiful vision

summary: AU where Erwin is blind and a delinquent has to keep him company.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959061

Being blind is never something that you ask or wish for. Not even to your worst enemy. But what can you do when your vision deteriorates day after day until you can not even work or walk by yourself ? Hereditary condition. Men in white coats said. And Erwin thanked his grandma for the gift. He couldn’t do anything but accept his fate and move to an appropriate establishment with other disabled people like him. His world became black and soon enough his mind too. Erwin lost the envy to do and accomplish anything. His only purpose was to survive in a society where people like him where considered a disease. He was left in the dark until the day he met him.

Levi.

Delinquent, indomitable Levi. Until he got caught by the cops for being involved in burglary. He ended up doing community service in the same establishment as Erwin and became his help. The meeting was not what we can call peaceful. Levi showed a lot of resentment toward Erwin and the work he had to do. Most of the time he ignored him and cursed a lot as if he was not there. However, Erwin still tried to initiate little talk. In vain. He could understand why the boy wouldn’t like to be imprisoned all day with disabled people. Erwin gave up quickly when he understood Levi didn’t care. Anyway, Levi did his job, kept him company, walked him outside, give him his food and medication. He just counted the days until he would be done.

“Levi?”

“What?” The younger man asked, not looking away from his phone. It was almost 6 and soon he would join his friends.

“Can you give my medication please? I have a headache.” Erwin put two digits to massage the inside of his eyes. Reading braille was really a heavy mental exercise.

“Yeah wait.” he reluctantly left his phone to retrieved the medicine in the drugs compartment. He handed it to Erwin with a glass of water but Erwin’s hand was trembling too hard.

“Let me do it” Levi sighed and gave him the water himself. Erwin gulped it as if he had been stuck in a desert for a whole week. He then let his face fall heavily on Levi’s stomach, breathing deeply.

“Do you want me to call the nurse?” Levi said, concerned and not really comfortable.

“No just stay like that. It will be fine soon. Just don’t move”

Levi stayed until Erwin feels better.

After that, something changed. It was as if Levi had been hit by a truck of compassion and he became a little more nice and a little less angry. Even his way of talking changed as he used less curse words. Well it depended.

“Fuck!”

“Language Levi…”

“Sorry but why are people so fucking stupid?”

“Levi…”

“Fuck… I am sorry”

“…”

“That idiot. I can’t believe it”

“What happened?”

“I have this friend… he was also involved in the burglary” Levi mumbled. He was not proud of that. “Anyway apparently he is also linked to a cartel and I fucking told him to never get into that and he just never listens” Levi finished, frustrated. He just wanted the best for him and he hoped that after the end of their punishment they could begin anew.

“I am sorry”

“Anyway I don’t care. If he wants to rot in prison, then it’s his damn problem!” He is not his father. They are both adult, capable of making their own decisions.

“Come here” Erwin patted the empty seat next to him in the sofa. He couldn’t see Levi but he sensed his hesitation. He heard the man shift and the place next to him sank. Erwin sighed internally. Sometimes, he didn’t know how to act with Levi, he was just so unpredictable.

“I know he is your friend but if you tried to convince him and he didn’t listen you cannot do anything about it.” Erwin declared seriously. “You have to make the best decision for you Levi. And the fact that you are willing to change your life is already a big step. I am proud of you” He finished with a comforting tone and a light smile.

Levi stayed quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say. That was the first time someone told him he was proud of him. Something in his heart constricted.

“Thank you.”

“Why are you always reading? That is so boring” Levi greeted as he threw his leather jacket on the sofa.

“Hello Levi” Erwin greeted back. A smile playing in his lips “How are you?”

“I am good but the depressive aura here will the death of me soon” He sighed.

“I see would you like to play some ga-”

“I know! Stand up!” Levi put away the book from his laps and took Erwin by both hands, urging him to stand up.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Erwin asked, confused. but Levi abandoned him a moment and soon enough Erwin heard an upbeat sounds playing.

“Do you know how to dance Smith?” Levi found him back and grabbed one of his hand. Letting his body enjoy the music jumping hard.

“Wait Levi I don’t know how to dance to that”

“It is easy! You just have to move you head up and down” Levi said his voice loud enough to cover the music.

So Erwin did that, he moved his head up and down. He felt ridiculous but at the same time he felt light and ecstatic. So he let it go.

“Yes like that Erwin!”

It has been too long since the last time Erwin had so much fun.

“That was not dancing” Erwin chuckled, sitting heavily.

“Whatever I enjoyed it” Levi said, lying exhausted on the sofa. He had to remove his sweater because he was just too hot.

“Me too” Erwin curved his mouth. “But I will show you what is real dancing.”

“Oh no. Do we have to listen to your exciting classical music?” Levi’s tone was dripping with sarcasm.

“Not really. Can you put the first disk and put it in the vinyl player please?”

Levi sighed but he roused from his position to do accordingly. He observed the disk collection before taking the one Erwin requested. “You are so old-fashioned”.

“Come here” He said as soon as the first notes hit.

“That sound like something my grand-mother would listen to”

“Shh, give me your hands”

“Are we really doing that?” Levi asked doing exactly what Erwin told him. Erwin intertwined one hand in his and put Levi’s other hand in his shoulder. Though, kind of. Because the man was that small. And Erwin placed his other hand in Levi’s lower back.

“Yes. You owe me that. I could have had a heart attack earlier” Erwin stated, tone serious. He let their body follow the sweet melody, their feet light on the floor.

“…” Levi looked at him bemused.

“I am joking” Erwin confessed, sensing the discomfort.

“You bastard. You are not that old”

“That is true” Erwin chuckled. They stayed dancing like that and at one point Erwin closed their proximity.

“Thank you so much” He whispered in Levi’s ear and let his head fall in his shoulder. Erwin couldn’t see him but he felt the tremor of Levi’s body. Levi took the opportunity then to tighten both arms around his neck.

“Can I try?”

“Try what?”

“The braille I am sure I can read it too.”

“Oh ok.”

Levi left his spot to come seat next to Erwin, their thighs touching and Levi’s upper body practically in his laps. The closeness made Erwin’s body hot and he tried to breathe evenly.

“The mov- movement? was, had?” Levi tried to decipher the words with his fingers but he had clearly a hard time “This is fucking difficult!” He said looking up to Erwin. The blond’s face was facing him. Seeing him without really seeing him.

“What?” Levi asked his brows frowning.

“I wish I can see you.” Erwin admitted, voice, like a whisper, a confession. Levi was taken aback by the serious tone of Erwin and stayed silent for a moment. “I am sorry” Erwin tried to take his words back but his cheeks were burning and-

“You can” Levi said without looking away.

“You can see me Erwin” and with that said he took both of Erwin’s bigger hands and placed them in his face. Erwin's fingers wondered, first on his large forehead and thin eyebrows, then went down to his narrow eyes, he caressed his small pointy nose to finally reach his feather small lips. He memorized every single piece of information about his face and printed them in his brain.

“You are so beautiful Levi” Erwin choked, a lump stuck in his throat.

“Kiss me Erwin” Levi demanded. He had been repressing this urge for too long. “Please”.

“Levi…”

“Please.”

Erwin gripped Levi’s face firmly and closed the distance slowly. Levi shut his eyes too but opened them soon enough when Erwin’s nose bumped into his forehead. Levi let out a small painful sound.

“I am sorry” Erwin panicked.

“Let me ok?” Levi angled their faces properly and finally met those lips.

#eruri #eruri fic #erwin smith #levi rivaille #levi ackerman #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #angst #fluff #disability #romance #alternate universe #troublemoi fic

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rogue-snorunt · 6 years

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Why I made a ko-fi

I got an anon who said that if I'm going to ask the public for money, than I need to explain why and it better be good. Which. Subtlety kind of rude but I get it. I'd want to know the story too and while I did give the explanation already in my first post about it, because I broke my own link with my incredible stupidity, I took it down.

reposted the link to my Kofi that hopefully works now but did leave out the explanation because I feel bad involving others in my problems and I don't want people to hear em and feel guilted into anything.

So here it is: the full obnoxiously long saga of the series of unfortunate events that had led me to making the Kofi from start to finish describing my 2017-2018 life presently.

It all started back in January of last year..

The cafe in which I work.. Worked? Work.. closes every January for cleaning for anywhere between 2wks and a month and in the time they encourage us to apply early and collect unemployment. This would be my first and last ever time doing this.

Why close? Mainly because my bakery is an old fashion French bakery where our lawyer city boy rich owner went to France and liked some countrymans brick oven so much he dropped I think it was a million or so to not only buy the oven, but to actually bring said oven to America brick by fucking brick.

And to clean this wood fed oven the size of a living room, you need AT LEAST 2-3 wks to let it cool down enough for some poor scrawny guy to climb in through the tiny wood stuffing hole and excerise all that soot. Plus deep cleaning a detached two story bakery; the kitchen and cafe itself..

Anyway back to the plot:

So on Jan 1st,2017 I applied and by Jan 14th2017, the place temp closed for cleaning.

I had saved 900$ for this because I'd be okay for the month.. $200/month for rent; $50 for phone, $35 for gas, $130 for groceries for me (who has strict diet of lactose and gluten free diet because I WILL die if I eat gluten because my organs swell; attack themselves and try and shut down. Rip™ my diet gets fucking hella expensive. Bread alone is &4-$5 bucks) $300 monthly student loan etc..

Well: not a week in our gas heater said fuck you. So to help repair, there went -$400 bucks. A WEEK IN. Than my grandmas car died, -$250 a week later. Fuck me gently.

Than the fateful blizzard night of Jan 31st 2017 that would be the catalyst of unfortunate bullshit leading today.. at 4:35 on my friend was bringing me home after a fun weekend, as I do not have a car, and he wanted to make sure I got home safe before the super storm hit. The cafe was reopening Feb 10th.

I was later informed that at around 4:56, my friend hit black ice and we °360 hard into a tree. I only remember seeing it about to happen and worrying about my glasses about to break, then nothing. Then looking at my blurry hand and even with my one good but still kind of blind eye, I saw that it was black; blue and I couldn't move it. Then I guess I said "well shit" and went to sleep.

I had broken not only my glasses trying to protect them, the fucking irony.. but my metacarpals; my nose, inhaled the chemical death from the airbag and recieved mild chemic Burns to face and throat. My smol rib cage was punched by the airbag so hard it got bullied out of place and was now compressing my lungs and a severe concussion.

My friend luckily being a 6' ft some man was set far away from air bag and being the impact was more my side, had only bad bruising to the limbs but okay. His truck now an accordion.

The doctor only looked at my hand and ignored my concussion, as I had an in the ambulance and was apparently making stupid nonsense jokes. So they assumed I was fine I guess.

I had to call in to my job and sadly tell them the news I would not be able to work for maybe a few months.

A month later while home and coming down the stairs, I suddenly could not breathe and got light-headed. Not good when you on stairs. I ended up refuckin up my metas and now add broken tail bone to the list.

My return to work just went from hopeful 3-4 months to 6. I was not financially equipped for this

But wait rogue! The unemployment!

Ah yes. The fucking thing that would fuck me harder then the airbag and stairs combined.. You see:

I had asked everyone I knew that had ever collected unemployment before what to do and even the girl who did the disability thing: for I was unable to work; disability would not kick in until at least a month. I got bills men, life don't stop cause bad shit you know?

Everyone told me, collect unemployment until Disability kicked in. Then stop. Okay.. these 6 people would know best right? Dingdong: unfortunate event #3 so far:

By the time disability kicked in I had collected $700 caps. Nice! Right? Well my honest naive ass thought how you cancelled unemployment was to tell em to cease and why. So I did.I explained what happened. This proved to be the biggest mistake of my pathetic life and installed the lesson of "don't be honest with big brother." They said "oh no you got injured? Well guess what fucko. You now have to pay back the $700, or else and guess what, we adding an bonus fuck you of $200 ."

Hahahahahaha-what?

I'm not able to work; disability only gave$100 some and I got friends and family I am in debt to for helping during these shenanigans.

Then unfortunate events #4-#9 took place. my aunt died.

I had to be hospitalized for pancreatitis; kidney stones and infections a few times, sometimes for all em at once.

Then my dog prostate cancer became apparent and despite the medicine and surgery every thing that could hell, he had to leave us for the rainbow bridge.

Than my grandma's car died again.

Then my stepmother died.

Grandma had to get surgery for her knees and began to complain of occasional blindness and migraines.

Went back to work early because you guys do what you gotta do man, only it's 7 months later and in a couple more, the fucking Cafe is going to close again.

By the time it did, I had been using every paycheck to catch up on bills; pay back the my friends and family lent, paying the late bills from my dog and car repairs, back owed payment and feedback to the student loan. and just as I had started seeing the light at the tunnel.. we closed and I wasn't prepared.

Unemployment have nothing but the middle finger.

It'll be fine.. I can handle a month. It'll suck but-

ITS NOW MAY AND THEY AIN'T OPEN.

During the time I was laid off this year I spent my time as follows:

Joined Tumblr and began to meme to counter that bi-polar depression and made some friends, looking at you @m-is-for-mungo 😘💞💞

A man grabbed my hand that didn't heal right and squeezed it so hard he fucked the bone. Had to go back to p.t. Hand once again fucking useless and I had posted about this way back, if you dig in my archive, you'll find the posts.

Applied for a state job at our prison with my friend whose already there, as kitchen worker

Got the surgery that I could no longer put off as it was too fix the anatomical problem contributing factor to my organs rioting like they do, but thankfully since it was considered life threatening, my insurance covered it.

Finally deal with death of my dog; and my family. Then my dad having a stroke and other family stuff.

Got that pesky rogue ribcage displacement taken care of

Fell down the fucking stairs again.

Adopted a special needs cat.

Became once again a financial burden and the moment I could, filled the still laid off time by trying to help my friend at their restaurant as much as possible.

Got the "we want you asap BUT thanks to state Bullshit like budget stuff.. We have to wait for the actual state to say yes" call from the prison call.

My uncle was discovered to cancer but by the time it was found, he had a week left. Then he died.

Got my shit broken by the scorned ex of our roommate

And then got the fucking letter from unemployment mildly threatening me to pay up.

But you said you didn't have a car in January 31st but then you do now??

After the car event, my friend told me to seek comp because I did get fucked up and being a baker who broke their hands, shit ain't good.. I did not want to because it was my friend, it wasn't their fault and if I had had my own car or just during go there in the first place this wouldn't have happened. Reluctantly after much badgering, I did.I did not get anything however until a year and half half later. and yeah, I’ll tell you how much seeing how Im being brutally honest: $10,000.

I immediately bought a $4000 car so I would never again be a burden and every single car I’ve ever owned have been $100+ garbage death traps I got from shady people and for once in my fucking life I wanted a car that wouldnt break down or try to kill me a week later; helped my grandma buy a car that wouldn't fail her, bought her a new fridge because hers died and paid some of her bills she got behind on. My friend had fallen behind on their bills as well and I owe everything I am and still being alive to these people.

You bet my stupid ass, I used almost every dime to help them. And id fucking do it again because: homies help homies.. And when your Nana whose been both mom; dad and nana to you and is the reason you weren't place in foster care needs you.. You fucking help her no matter what.I did have enough to pay the student loan for last month and this month. I got a new track phone because mine broke, bought a pair of shoes because I've only ever had my loafers and the soles fell off finally and I brought groceries. I have enough to pay rent and I am now tapped out.

My only debt is this $900 fuck you from the government and my $15000k student loan.

And now y'all caught up on the fucking disaster that is my life.

I'm sorry for this sobstory of me crying about my problems but i.. I really do not like asking for help.i hate asking for help. I hate that I have to ask for money because I've been in desperate shitty situations my whole damn life and managed to somehow scrape by but for the first time, I'm in a situation that I can't fix alone. And I fucking hate it and that I have to admit it. but I need help .

This is why I made the Kofi

A kofi that is absolutely only for and will only be used, to pay that $900. I promise you that even if I become homeless, I am going to pay that goddamn bill before anything else. Because I helped everyone with their debt and they are all good now, we all squared and now it's my turn to be okay glib-dimit

#ask a rogue a question #explanation #i defeatedly #desperately and guiltedly i need fucking help #kofi roguesnorunt

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