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cringeyvanillamilk · 3 years

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☕️If you had to place the black bulls in a squad that wasn't the black bulls, where would you put them and why?

Hello! I really appreciate the ask!

This concept has always been something I’d love to see more of since the possibilities are endless. I’m going to answer this prompt with the assumption that each member properly went through the magic knight exam and were chosen by a different squad captain. I’ll be explaining my thoughts in detail for each member.

More details under cut!

Crimson Lions

Asta: Crimson Lions

I think Asta’s determined and headstrong personality would work well within the Crimson Lions. The Crimson Lions seem to be a very disciplined and hardworking squad thanks to Fuegoleon’s leadership, which Asta would thrive in. I like to believe that Asta’s ambition of being Wizard King and outstanding fighting prowess during the exam would impress Fuegoleon enough to have him join his squad. Asta might also serve as a role model where it doesn’t matter what status or magic amount you have, as long as you work hard you are destined for greatness. This would align with Fuegoleon’s value. Also, Leopold would have a more consistent rivalry with Asta which would make him improve more quickly and effectively.

Zora: Crimson Lions

I think that Zora would be a refreshing addition to the Crimson Lion based on his more tactical fighting style and stance on the corrupted upper class. Having Zora would be a humbling experience for everyone. I think that Fuegoleon would appreciate Zora’s blunt and critical personality because it’ll only lead to improvement and growth. Although his pride may get repeatedly stomped on by Zora, he still values his words and learns from them. And since the Crimson Lions are most likely full of nobles, Zora will be an important key to not only showcasing that peasants are just as strong as nobles, but also point out each member's weakness. He may cause mayhem in this squad, but I think they’ll improve a lot with his presence. Zora would also respect Fuegoleon’s unbiased personality despite being a royal so he has no problem being in his squad.

Blue Rose

Noelle: Blue Rose

I specifically did not pick the Silver Eagles because I don’t believe that Noelle will consistently grow and improve in an environment where she will most likely be ridiculed or undermined. She needs to be in a squad where she can be empowered and supported by others. It’s because of these crucial factors that I think the Blue Rose is the perfect squad for her. Based on what we know about the Blue Rose, we have never seen any members discriminate against others based on class or skills (unless you’re a man RIP). I also believe that Charlotte would be a great role model and teacher for Noelle to look up to. Charlotte may also serve as a potential mother figure that Noelle probably wanted her whole life.

Finral: Blue Rose

This is basically a dream come true for Finral. A squad full of beautiful and strong women? He can finally die happy! Joking aside, I think Finral’s personality and spatial magic would meet Charlotte’s standards. Although Finral is a flirt, he is definitely not disrespectful towards women. Though his flirting may get him in trouble due to the “no dating men” rule, he can always be subtle about it like the other blue rose members. Who knows, maybe his attempts may appear charming to the other members. Finral’s spatial magic is also very reliable and makes him the squad’s favorite errand boy.

Green Mantis

Magna: Green Mantis

Magna’s small amount of magic might prevent him from being accepted by any other squads, but I think Magna’s grit and delinquent attitude might work well under Jack. Magna is no pushover and his willingness to fight might entertain Jack. And if Magna is extremely loyal to Yami, he might be the same for Jack which will stroke his ego pretty nicely. Magna basically went from mean looking captain to another lmao. And if I’ll be honest, Magna might be the key to the squad improving drastically. The squad honestly needs that toughness based on the weak-willed members we know so far from the squad. Jack would definitely leave Magna in charge of toughening up the members. They need it.

Luck: Green Mantis

The sole reason why Luck would join the Green Mantis is because of Jack. Out of all the other captains, Jack seems the most eager to slice which will peak Luck’s interest. If Jack can apparently cut anything, Luck wants to test his abilities and fight Jack. Luck already has a bad reputation and so he might not be accepted into other noble squads. Thankfully, Jack doesn’t care for reputation so Luck will be at home in his squad. It also helps that Luck is in the same squad as Magna since they seem to motivate each other to grow stronger. They’d make a good pair in toughening up the squad and entertaining Jack.

Nacht: Green Mantis

Now Nacht was very difficult for me to choose. Nacht would probably prefer to be in a squad where he can do whatever he wants and spy on the Spade Kingdom. With this in mind, I would put Nacht in the Green Mantis. This squad is one of the least noteworthy in comparison to the other squads and aren’t as formal or rigid. This becomes an advantage for Nacht since this gives him the freedom to do whatever he needs to do. If he were to disappear, the squad doesn’t have to know due to Jack’s lax leadership. Jack wouldn’t think much about Nacht’s disappearance nor would he care so it’s a win-win situation.

Coral Peacock

Charmy: Coral Peacock

I think Charmy would fit in with the Coral Peacock because of her versatile and powerful cotton magic. I like to think that Kirsch, specifically, would view Charmy’s magic as very beautiful. Her cotton magic is just like her personality, very adaptable and cute, so Charmy might end up charming Kirsch if she were to be a part of the squad. She may even be a possible little-sister figure that he’d end up doting over. Of course, Mimosa will always be his number one. Dorothy can also have a nice soft cotton bed to sleep on lmao.

Vanessa: Coral Peacock

I think Vanessa would be in the Coral Peacock due to being a fellow witch. Vanessa’s versatile and elegant thread magic would also fit with the Coral Peacock’s beautiful aesthetic. There’s no question that Vanessa would meet Kirsch’s standards because of her beauty. However, if Vanessa drinks a lot and casually wears her underwear around the base, Kirsch will suddenly become an overbearing mother. He would see such behavior as unbecoming of a beautiful person and would continuously lecture Vanessa to change her habits.This becomes an everyday thing. Being in the same squad as Dorothy can also lead them to have a closer bond due to their similar upbringing.

Purple Orcas

Gordon: Purple Orcas

It’s a big oof. Gordon would only be accepted into the Purple Orcas because of his poison and curse magic. Gueldre initially wanted Gordon to join him on his corrupted scheme, but after realizing that Gordon’s personality betrays his appearance, he (thankfully) dropped the idea. Now that the original purpose for having Gordon is meaningless at this point, Gordon would be left to do whatever he wants. Sadly, he might be lonely because the other members are too scared to approach him or even ridicule him. Thankfully, he might have someone from the Black Bulls to give him company.

Grey: Purple Orcas

Similar to Gordon, Grey’s transformation magic would be viewed as useful for Gueldre’s schemes. And just like with Gordon, Gueldre would realize that he can’t manipulate Grey into participating in his scheme and would give up on the initial plan. Once Grey is transformed, she is very unpredictable and might not listen to directions as readily. If she’s left alone, she might just transform into her other members and have fun. This is where she’d befriend Gordon and hang out together. They’ll keep each other company. Once Kaiser replaced Gueldre, they would both try and better the reputation of the squad. I can see both of them being more fond of Kaiser than Gueldre. A possible father-figure maybe!

Golden Dawn

Gauche: Golden Dawn

Despite Gauche’s past crimes, William would specifically choose Gauche because he is a reincarnation of Drowa. Gauche’s mirror magic could also be powerful in battle, but he’s definitely a controversial pick due to his criminal history and uncouth personality. Gauche would be the black sheep of the squad and he could honestly care less. As long as he receives his paycheck and spends it on Marie, he just wants to be left alone. No friends, no trouble. Alecedora and Langris will not vibe with Gauche. He isn’t afraid to shoot beams at them or anybody else. William promises that Gauche has the skill to live up to the Golden Dawn’s standards. He’s really stretching it for the sake of having him in the squad. Might try and get Gauche to improve his cooperation skills. And thus Gauche joins Klaus, Yuno, and Mimosa for mission and team building. It’s a wild dynamic.

Nero: Golden Dawn

If Nero were to join a squad as a bird, I feel like she would naturally join Asta’s squad since she likes to sit on his head. However, if she were to go through the exam as herself, she would probably be in the Golden Dawn. I’m sure Patri would at least recognize Nero and would want her by his side to keep an eye on her. Nero’s true identity will be unknown to the other members, but William will do everything he could to be close to Nero. Probably to investigate Nero’s goals. She might also be partnered up with Klaus, Yuno, Mimosa, and Gauche. Not gonna lie though, I was tempted to put her in the Silver Eagles because she’d fit the bird aesthetic.

Aqua Deer

Henry: Aqua Deer

Henry is a quirky man. A quirky man that Rill might find inspiration from! Henry might become Rill’s biggest fan because not only would Rill probably let Henry absorb his mana, but he’d show him his various art work. In return, Rill might like Henry because of his cool recombination magic! Each day his house might look different? That sounds like a potential art project in the making! Henry also attracts animals and so Rill will have a blast painting various animals that come by his house! Especially the birds! Probably the most light-hearted friendship.

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ayzrules · 3 years

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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle).

And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒) Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

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satellitesunset · 3 years

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Would you be willing to put together a character birth/zodiac chart for Quinn? I don’t think her birthday is ever explicitly stated in the show, so I usually just go with it being February 1st, but I think it varies from person to person. Also, I have no idea if she really seems like an Aquarius or not, but I feel like a few Aquarius traits might be fitting.

of course!! thank you for sending an ask <3 I need an excuse for talking about zodiacs and glee.

send an ask with a character, I'll give you their zodiac chart

in my opinion, Quinn's chart would be dominated mostly by air and water sign.

again, I’ll mostly focus on the big 3 + venus.

birthday: September 29, 1993 (in the show, she's born early 1994)

sun sign: libra

Quinn, for sure, is an air sign, and i highly considered gemini, but in the long run, i think libra is the most fitting.

libra individuals strive for harmony, balance, which is what for me makes Quinn a libra, a constant character arc for her is trying to find a balance between different aspects of her life. She's even willing to restore to methods like lying and manipulation to get that.

there's a lack of directness and her apparent inability to take a stand. An expert at avoiding being the one to blame. (and i mean this in the nicest way possible), always looking for the "best" way or the "right" way to live

there's a need to belong, to be part of something, someone who enjoys socializing, she gives in easily to peer pressure.

moon sign: pisces

for those unfamiliar with zodiacs, your moon signs is your inner self, emotions, mood.

Pisces' sun are known to be sensitive, dreamy, intuitive, creative. Their natural intuition allows them to sense the mood or atmosphere of a situation without the expression of words. She can also be quite impressionable, easily influenced by the moods of others, and may often feel overwhelmed because of this.

Needs to feel needed, once their cautious exterior melts, she is quite a good friend, establishing boundaries is a very important factor in how successful the friendship is.

there's a lot more to her than meets the eye, she feels things out and relies on their intuition. Has a deep understanding of emotions, but her moods come in changeable waves. It may be difficult for her to put their emotions into words, so they tend to express themselves through abstract art like music, painting, drama, or poetry.

She tends to look at love through rose-colored glasses and may put others on a pedestal rather than seeing a situation for what it really is.

rising sign: taurus

The rising sign represents, the mask one wears when meeting new people, the first personality traits people exhibit naturally or in uncomfortable situations.

i initially wanted a fire sign (either aires or sagittarius) but taurus works pretty well.

People with Taurus rising tend to be strong, persistent, slow to change, determined, practical, stubborn, non-aggressive, patient, loyal, hardworking.

can be led or coaxed, but never pushed or driven. With a want to build and make things grow, but hates being rushed.

venus sign: virgo

Venus represents love and relationships, how you give and feel love in both romances and friendships

this one kinda came as i sorted the big 3, and i think it matches Quinn, as a firm gay!quinn believer, i don't think we got to witness her being properly in love (except the hookup with Santana and the pining over Rachel), so i took liberty in this aspect.

despite Quinn being over-the-top with her relationships with guys in canon, i think she would be the opposite in a relationship where she is actually romantically interested.

She would be hesitant, shy, but coy, dedicated, would pay attention to details, a great listener. Her flaw perhaps that she attempts to criticise as a way of flirting. Not the one for grand gesture, she shows her love through lingering physical affection and act of service.

Other Aspects:

mercury: (represents expression and communication): libra

mars: (represents the primal energy, the assertive, driving force behind your actions.): scorpio

jupiter: (represents expansion, fortune.): libra

saturn: (represents effort, limitations, fears, and responsibility): aquarius

uranus: (represents change): capricorn

neptune: (represents dreams, imagination): capricorn

pluto: (represents transformations): scorpio

if anyone wants to read an in-depth report, with details that I didn’t mention, here's the link.

#myle talks zodiacs #glee x zodiacs #glee #c: come see about me #glee headcanons #headcanons #asks #glee thoughts™#anon my beloved

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randomidiocyncrazies · 3 years

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i know you like them both so yunichika and oda/aoki for the ship ask

thank you for giving me a chance to gush about these kids!!! they’re precious.... this got pretty long so imma put it under a cut

YuniChika, the main boys of 2.43:

• when or if I started shipping it:

tbh i didn’t really ship them when i read the first book... they’re the kind of pairing that i can see people shipping and i think it’s cute, but i’m not super invested in them as a romantic pairing. I think i was more sold about them as a ship in the second book, but i can’t quite remember if there was a specific moment that made me change my mind, or if it was a gradual process

• my thoughts:

i think the anime definitely played up the tension between them (allll the blushes lol), but i’m glad people are enjoying the YuniChika content XD they’re pretty cute!

also, i think they balance each other well and spur each other to become better—Yuni and Chika are both self-centered(?) in very different ways: Yuni lacks drive because he mostly wanted to please people so they’ll like him, while Chika has the opposite problem in that he acts like he doesn’t care what people think of him.

but now Yuni is able to take a stand for his interest in volleyball and for Chika, and while Chika doesn’t really soften and still has a problem with not realizing how harsh he could be, he’s more willing to communicate his thoughts.

• what makes me happy about them:

boys reuniting! relearning how to have a relationship with one another! learning from past mistakes and trying to be better people together! HELL YEAH

• what makes me sad about them:

boys, please use your words to communicate with each other...

also, from Yuni’s perspective, it’s kinda sad when someone you used to know really well comes back into your life, but they’ve changed so much that they are essentially a different person... but of course they have a new opportunity to become closer now 😉 so i’m not that sad about it

• things done in art/fic that annoys me:

... there are fanworks for them?????????

(on a more serious note, erasing their flaws to make them more likable... please don’t make Chika ‘secretly nice’ or whatever, the kid is blunt as hell, and not realizing how his words affect others is his biggest flaw. on the other hand, Yuni can still be a little spineless at times, and sometimes his priorities are. questionable.)

• things I look for in art/fic:

hm, i’d like a future fic about them as professional players! i think their inclination is to stick together (they’re a package deal!) but it’d be super interesting to read something where they’re on rival teams years down the line

EDIT: haha Chika actually transferred to Keisei High School after their first Spring Tournament, so he and Yuni have faced each other as rivals since then (2.43 next 4years). they’re go to the same university and are on the same team now though!

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

uh i don’t really have specific people for this, but Chika would probably have to be with someone who understands his love of volleyball (like Oda, but if Oda wasn’t their team captain and thus too much of a dad friend to qualify as a romantic interest), and someone who can inspire Yuni would be good for him

also, i know who i’d NOT be comfy about: the first book (and anime i guess) had this weird tension between Itoko and Yuni, COUSINS who BASICALLY GREW UP TOGETHER. i think(?) their weird whatever was mostly dropped in the 2nd book and wasn’t really made explicit, but like. what the hell. (i have no idea what happens beyond the 2nd book.)

• my happily ever after for them:

the YuniChika in college arc is being serialized rn, so in a way that’s already fulfilled? (i have NO idea what’s going on tho)

in general i just hope they can play volleyball together until one or both decide not to, for whatever reason, and that they stay in each other’s lives and support each other even after they’ve retired from competitive volleyball. i think with Yuni’s personality he could be a good coach after getting more experience, and Chika... he’s really valuable as a strategist, but I think he’d always be a little brusque, so he’s respected but hard to bond with if he does take on coaching?

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

bold of you to assume Chika even cares about sex

anyway, they don’t go to movies for a romantic date night, they go watch volleyball matches. sometimes this backfires when Chika gets too frustrated at bad plays tho

and of course i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about Oda/Aoki, the main guys of my heart (my OTP for this series tbh):

• when or if I started shipping it:

they pinged on my radar when they were bickering in Ibara’s chapter, but i wasn’t super duper invested... and then I got to The Dog’s Perspective and the Giraffe’s Perspective (specifically The Kick™) and oh god i’ve never fallen so fast

• my thoughts:

GOD WOW Aoki really loves Oda... even though objectively Oda’s height prevents him from being a super ace, he is the coolest, strongest super ace to Aoki. i think it’s beautiful that someone can see you as your best self even when you’re feeling shitty about yourself. Aoki knows that objectively Oda faces a lot of obstacles, and wants to support him as best as he can—not out of pity (pity would’ve burned out long ago), but because he really respects Oda’s passion and drive.

also, these two have unaddressed issues that they should talk about! Oda, i know you feel inferior but you are so much better than you think you are. please accept that Aoki really does respect you, and that you are worthy of it (or like, you don’t have to be ‘’’worthy’’’’ or ‘’’’’’deserving’’’’’’’’’’ of it, because it is Aoki’s choice to support you and play volleyball with you!!! it’s not something you gotta earn, it’s something freely and happily given to you)

(ahhhhhh i die when i think of them)

• what makes me happy about them:

gosh i love their dynamic SO MUCH! Oda is exactly my type of character (passionate, determined, knowing that he can never be the best at what he’s passionate about due to factors he cannot control, trying to be kind and gracious but struggling with feelings of inferiority and jealousy, thinks of himself as a selfish person, a supporting character...) and Aoki’s devotion is really touching.

again: even when you feel like crap about yourself, there’s someone out there who thinks you’re the best thing that happened to them.

there’s also the fact that Oda thinks the world of Aoki as well (to the point of feeling inferior, which is like... c’mon Oda :/ you are better than you think you are!) he trusts Aoki a lot, despite knowing his willingness to engage in, uh, underhanded methods

• what makes me sad about them:

it’s their last year together, and they’d be approaching a new phase of their lives in different places... although Aoki offered to lower his rankings so they’d go to the same university, realistically they’ll go to different colleges, and most likely end up in different prefectures. (like, not only do i think it’s a Terrible Idea to give up your dream school so that you could stay with someone else, there is no way Oda would accept the offer without being crushed by guilt. something like that would actually ruin their relationship, which i think Aoki knows as well.)

there’s also a lot left unsaid between them at this point and i just want them to lay everything out between them and move forward together

• things done in art/fic that annoys me:

the fact that there’s NONE >:[ what does a gal have to do to get some content for them???????

• things I look for in art/fic:

at this point anything is fine.... it’s a desert out there and i’m dying

more specifically i’m Extremely Down for a get together fic; i personally only see them getting together after high school, at least several months (or even longer) studying in different prefectures and no longer able to see each other every day. (i mean... absence makes the heart grow fonder right?)

i’d also love to see Oda using Aoki’s first name, considering Aoki calls him “Shin” and all. Oda managing to surprise/fluster Aoki would be nice too.

EDIT: they’re both in the Kansai region (2.43 next 4years prologue). Oda’s revealed to be studying in Osaka, and assuming Aoki got into KyoDai, they should be around 2 hours away from each other by train? so visiting each other over short breaks would be cute! also, apparently Oda took a gap year before going to Osaka (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2), so something set during that time would also be awesome :V

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

hm... if i had to imagine people well-suited to them, i’d say Aoki’s type is people who are straightforwardly passionate about their interests (Oda hooked him with his unbridled love of volleyball way back in their first year of high school after all), and I think Oda probably needs someone who is willing to indulge him a little (like Chika he can be pretty dang determined about what he wants, though without the single-minded intensity at the expense of everything else)

... this is just a roundabout way of saying i think they’re ideal for each other, especially if they resolve the problem of hiding things from the other

• my happily ever after for them:

they get careers/hobbies they enjoy, and get a place together as boyfriends/husbands. no i will not hear any criticism of this idea

i can see Aoki working in the private sector (this guy is fine with ‘joking’ about blackmail after all!) after getting his law degree. this is super self-indulgent, but given his penchant of rooting for passionate but objectively disadvantaged entities, i think it’d be pretty awesome if he works for a smaller company that truly believes in their work, instead of working at a big firm pulling in big bucks.

while I’m not sure what Oda is canonically studying, I can see him going into sports education or sports therapy—i think he’d be really good at nurturing the talents of other athletes, and he’s good at rallying the team (Aoki pretty much says he’s the heart of the team in the epilogue of the first book, though Aoki’s kiiinda biased lol). i think it’d be really cute if Oda coaches a grade school team!

neither plays volleyball competitively after high school, but sometimes they watch matches for fun (esp if their ex-teammates are playing). Oda also makes Aoki come to his students’ matches if he doesn’t have work

EDIT: apparently Oda continues competing as a wing spiker in college, playing in Kaisai’s 2nd Collegiate Division (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2)—Aoki probably watches his matches, even when he’s busy (and Oda probably chides him for neglecting his work, but they both know Aoki can manage his workload).

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

hm... idk, i think they’re the kind of couple who are cool with just chilling with each other doing their own work. like, Oda planning strategies for the kids he’s coaching while Aoki reads next to him, occasionally glancing over to make comments, stuff like that

also since Oda says they mostly talked about volleyball during high school, I can kinda see them finding something new they both enjoy after they get together? Maybe shounen manga, for something fun

#2.43 #2.43 anime #2.43 seiin high school boys volleyball team #2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley bu #yunichika #odaoki #replies

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magicofthepen · 3 years

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For the character thingy, romana and leela?? ❤

ROMANA - I’m going to answer for Romana I, since I already did Romana II!

favorite thing about them: so I fell in love with Romana I instantly when I watched The Ribos Operation. I was like “wait no one told me that Romana’s basically a recent graduate who always thrived in school but has now suddenly been thrust into the Real World and is a bit of a mess” and oh my god why is she so relatable, also I love that about her. I love that she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, and her academic brilliance doesn’t necessarily help in the situations she’s finding herself in, but she keeps trying and learning, so by the end of season 16 she’s much more confident and capable on her own than she was when she started. I just absolutely adore the premise of her character and how she develops during the key to time quest. also her banter skills are so excellent. (….this wasn’t one thing whoops. 😄)

least favorite thing about them: I feel like it’s something about how she’s portrayed in the Gallifrey audios, but I can’t quite articulate what? but I feel like somehow, some of the things I really liked about her on TV (her witty fun banter, her determination even when she’s out of her depth) aren’t represented as much when we get glimpses of Actual Romana I (not Pandora or an alternate universe version). idk if this is even fully true, it’s just….she doesn’t quite have the same vibe as the character I remember from the TV show (but this is also tricky because the Lies scene, the Matrix projection in Lies (which *isn’t* really her technically) and the remains of her consciousness in the body that Pandora’s using are the only times we get Actual Romana I - which isn’t that much time to express all the nuances of her character.)

(continuing to skip the favorite line question because it’s too hard)

brOTP: her and the Doctor!! (like I said in the Romana II ask, I used to ship them more, but lately I’ve been more into a platonic interpretation.) I just as instantly fell for their dynamic in the Ribos Operation - two people with very different personalities who don’t get along but are forced to work together and gradually become friends?? this is exactly the kind of relationship arc that I adore. Their banter and snark is So Good (I was so entertained by their interactions in Ribos Operation that my brain refused to pay attention to anything but their scenes, and I ended up having issues following the plot later oops). And I love their growing respect and care for each other - how they go from being mutually dismissive of each other to valuing each other and being a solid Team and just really genuinely liking each other! their friendship is just Very Good (…..and now I really want to rewatch season 16….I’ve only seen it like one and a half times but I loved it very much….)

OTP: I don’t think I have any ships with Romana I that I would consider an ‘otp’? (the closest would be her and the Doctor since I have sometimes shipped them and I adore their relationship in general)

nOTP: Brax/Romana again….and tbh with Romana I it’s more of an actual nOTP (rather than ‘kinda nOTP, kinda ‘it’s complicated’’) because this is the time frame when she’s actually his student and so my discomfort with student/teacher relationships really rears its head (although there’s still one fic out there that I just think is so well-written.....but it does show the relationship as very unhealthy).

random headcanon: .....so sorry to continue Sartia posting, but oops the first thing that popped into my head is my new maybe-unrealistic headcanon that Sartia was Romana’s first kiss. in a teenage “I’m curious and want to try this thing and you’re the only person I hang out with, but it doesn’t mean anything....or does it??” way. (.....this is so self-indulgent in such a terrible way rip.)

unpopular opinion: Armageddon Factor is my favorite Key to Time story! (I gather this is an unpopular opinion in Doctor Who Fandom At Large, it doesn’t seem to be liked as much as some of the earlier stories in the season.) technically I’ve only seen it once and it was a couple years ago, but I remember loving it as a Romana story, there were a lot of really interesting character bits for her!

song i associate with them: hmm I don’t really have one? my Romana playlist is specifically for Romana II in Big Finish so....yeah.

favorite picture of them: anything with her Ribos Operation outfit (with the full cloak), it’s iconic and beautiful! on a similar note, I love this Romana I art by @volucris-liga, it’s the first Romana fanart I ever reblogged and it’s so pretty!

more under the cut!

LEELA

favorite thing about them: her resilience and her kindness. Leela goes through so much grief and pain, she has her world upended again and again, she never really finds a place where she belongs. and yet she still keeps choosing to love, choosing to keep fighting for what she believes in, choosing to rebuild again and again. and sometimes it’s really hard and she doesn’t want to go on….but she does, and she finds moments of happiness again. and that strength is really powerful. and no matter how cruel the universe (and other people) are to her, she is still relentlessly kind - she listens, she protects, she wants to help, she cares.

least favorite thing about them: I mean, the “savage” stereotype that her character references is a racist/anti-indigenous trope (especially the whole dynamic of the Doctor trying to “civilize” her ugh). and I hate that characters keep calling her “savage” (even when they’re the Bad Guys, it’s still bringing up this trope again and again, and it’s even worse when it’s the Good Guys). why are they still doing this.

brOTP: see all characters listed under otp, every relationship that I ship is also an incredibly important friendship in Leela’s life and I love all of them <33 as far as relationships that I see as entirely non-romantic….I really love the version of Leela and Ace’s relationship that exists in my head (and in fandom) - they didn’t get to interact enough in the audios, but I absolutely think they were really close, because of their shared experiences and the ways their personalities mesh. (I feel like I should also say the Doctor here, but tbh I don’t remember her TV stories that well, so I don’t really have a solid memory of what their relationship was like.) and of course, Leela’s parental relationship with Rayo is very important to me!

OTP: once again, ot3 my beloved <33 and Leela/Romana first and foremost (I already rambled about them here, so I’m just going to second everything I said earlier).

and I also ship Leela/Narvin, although I’m not quite as invested in that pairing? (due to a combination of ‘Romana is my favorite character and so I’m just more interested in her relationships with other characters,’ ‘I joined the fandom when things were pretty much all Leela/Narvin all the time (I say with great respect and affection for the artists and writers putting out amazing content for that ship) so I was motivated to write fic primarily for R/L and N/R to balance out the ot3 content,’ ‘apparently I have a contrary streak with Gallifrey and the more the writers push a romantic interpretation of a relationship, the less interested I am in actually shipping it,’ and ‘I’m not really into Leela/Narvin as a pairing on its own - although I do love a lot of fic that portrays them that way bc it’s just very well-written.’) But just. how they form a grudging alliance for Romana’s sake and then develop genuine respect for each other and then build this really solid foundation of teamwork and fondness and care and really relax and feel comfortable around each other….the way they become ride-or-die for each other and just trust and love each other so much….it’s Very Good!! (And I did love writing scenes with the two of them in Call It Home - I might not focus on them, but I do genuinely love their relationship.)

And of course Leela/Veega <33….I debated if they even interacted enough in the actual audios for me to consider it an otp, but I love the idea of their relationship and the story of them in my head so much?? going to link to this post because it really captures my feelings about them - they’ve both been through so much grief and pain by the time they meet, they’ve both lost people they love before, so the idea of them choosing to love each other and build something together against the odds is just. very powerful. plus I have a whole playlist for the family they’ve built together, which is a strong indication that I really love this ship. 😊

nOTP: Leela/Andred. last time I answered an ask meme about Leela, I had this complicated response about how I hated Leela/Andred when I watched Invasion of Time (bc it’s so abrupt and arbitrary), and then Louise Jameson’s voice acting Convinced Me To Care because oh she really did love him....alas i am a Leela/Andred detractor at heart, and I have been nudged back to my default state by re-listening….I simply hate how he treats Leela in Gallifrey.

random headcanon: I really like the idea of Leela being more politically involved in her own right after they all return from the Axis. She’s just spent a lot of time leading a group of people who don’t have a voice in the government, fighting for their rights against the established injustices of Gallifreyan society. I don’t think she’d easily slip back into only being Romana’s bodyguard after experiencing more political autonomy on the other Gallifrey. What exactly this looks like in practice I’m not sure about - in my one fic ‘verse, I wrote about her being more directly involved with the Academy as a political liaison and guest tutor, and also advocating to Romana for policies that would benefit those who live outside the city on their home Gallifrey. but there’s probably a lot of options to explore here!

unpopular opinion: hmm I don’t think this is necessarily unpopular but idk and I want to talk about it: even though Leela identifies so strongly as a warrior, a “happy ending” for her would, I think, need to involve getting away from fighting. too often she throws herself into a fight to try to avoid thinking about how much she’s hurting, and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t stop the pain. and in the Time War, she’s tied her identity so strongly to war (it’s inevitable, inescapable, and she will Fight and Defend because that’s all she has left). there’s a difference between “I am a warrior” and “all I am is a warrior,” and Leela’s slid too far into the second one, and she needs to untangle her own identity from war to heal.

song i associate with them: Freedom by Karmina (it’s a song about going on defiantly in the face of heartbreak - “Tearing my room apart, I’m starting over” / “Take my pride I can still survive I’ve got my freedom” / “Hunt me down you’ll never find me now that I’ve got my freedom”)

favorite picture of them: the first one that came to mind is this gorgeous art by @laurelhach (which I didn’t realize was based on a picture until I stumbled across the original picture and was like oh my god!! it looks exactly like the art!!)

#thank you for sending these!! <33 #sircarolyn #asks #gallifrey audios #romana #leela #ramblings #gallifrey spoilers

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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HACKERS AND SPEAKING

No company, however successful, ever looks more than a pretty good bet a few months. Either way it sucks. We ask mainly out of politeness. If you think someone judging you will work hard to judge you correctly, there's usually some feeling they shouldn't have to express every program as the definition of new types. If investors can no longer rely on their herd instincts, they'll have to get a foot in the door. -Oriented programming generates a lot of new work is preferable to a proof that was difficult, but doesn't lead to future discoveries; in the sciences generally, citation is considered a rough indicator of merit. If startups are mobile, the best local talent will go to the real Silicon Valley, and all they'll get at the local one will be the people who get PhDs in CS don't go into research. They're the ones in a position of power. I'm still not sure whether he thought AI was nonsense and that majoring in something rigorous would cure me of such stupid ambitions. I have never had to talk. When you change the angle of someone's eye five degrees, no one will pay for. Umair Haque wrote recently that the reason there aren't more Googles is that most startups get bought before they can change the world, people don't start things till they're sure what they want, regardless of how many are started.

Startups will go to work anyway and sit in front of them, so the odds of getting this great deal are 1 in 300. On the other hand, startup investing is a very strange business. Even if your only goal is to get every distraction out of the closet and admit, at least by comparison, be called turmoil. Just two or three lifetimes ago, most people in what are now called industrialized countries lived by farming. But software companies don't hire students for the summer as a source of cheap labor. But if you're starting a startup. I worried? I said what they need to get good grades to get into elite colleges, and college students think they need to get good grades to impress future employers, students will try to undermine the VCs by acting faster, and the VCs will gradually figure out ways to make money from. How casual successful startup founders are.

I write software: I sit down and blow out a lame version 1 as fast as angels and super-angels themselves. We think of the techniques we're developing for dealing with detail. I know of schlep blindness is Stripe, or rather Stripe's idea. You're better off avoiding these. If so, your old tastes were not merely different, but worse. Why is it that research can be done by collaborators. I'd guess the most successful startups we've funded haven't launched their products yet, but are definitely launched as companies. Fortran because not surprisingly in a language where you have to design what the user needs, who is the user? You may dispute either of the premises, but if you get funded by Y Combinator. But it seems more dangerous to put stuff in that you've never needed because it's thought to be a promising experiment that's worth funding to see how it turns out.1 But the startup world for so long that it seems promising enough to worry that you might not be the best solution. In Kate's world, everything is still physical and expensive.

Only a few companies have been smart enough to realize this so far. It's not super hard to get into grad school or just be good at math to write Mathematica. Google is afflicted with this, apparently. It has always seemed to me the solution is to tackle the problem head-on, and that people should work for another company for a few years down the line. With so much at stake, they have to be big, and it frees conscious thought for the hard problems. Why do you think so? Whereas when they don't like you, they'll be out of business, lies in something very old-fashioned: face to face for three months—so closely in fact that we insist they move to where we are. A lot of them. They believe this because it really feels that way to them.2

That solves the problem if you get a real job after you graduate. Because depending on the meaning of the word 'is' is. As usual, by Demo Day about half the founders from that first summer, less than two years ago, are now rich, at least in the short term. It was a lot of institutionalized delays in startup funding: the multi-week mating dance with investors; the distinction between termsheets and deals; the fact that you're mainly interested in hacking shouldn't deter you from going to grad school, because very few people are quite at home in computer science, and it will seem to investors no more than superficial changes. It's not just because they were pulled into it by unscrupulous investment bankers. You're rolling the dice again, whether you want them as a cofounder. In the mid twentieth century there was a great deal of play in these numbers. When you're forced to be simple, you're forced to be simple, you're forced to face the real problem. They treat the words printed in the book the same way you'd deal with a cold swimming pool: just jump in. So when you find an idea you know is good but most people disagree with, you should get a job. Nowadays a lot of de facto control after a series A round needs to be a good time for startups to have traction before they put in significant money.

One of our goals with Y Combinator was to discover the lower bound on the age of startup founders.3 If taste is just personal preference is a good deal of fighting in being the public face of an organization. The biggest factor determining how a VC will feel about your startup is how other VCs feel about it. Your tastes will change. So unless their founders could pull off an IPO which would be difficult with Yahoo as a competitor, they had become extremely formidable. The mobility of seed-stage startups means that seed funding is a national business.4 The puffed-up companies that went public during the Bubble didn't do it just because they want you to be a really good deal.

Do you, er, want a printout of yesterday's news? I know many people who switched from math to painting. This essay is derived from talks at the 2007 Startup School and the Berkeley CSUA. As well as mattering less whether students get degrees, it will turn out worse. Some magazines may thrive by focusing on the magazine as a physical object. As long as it isn't floppy, consumers still perceive it as a period that would have been for two Google employees to focus on the wrong things for six months, and the super-angels were initially angels of the classic type. Should you take it? Maybe, though the list of acquirers is a lot less than most university departments like to admit. VCs do now. It's too late now to be Stripe, but there's usually some feeling they shouldn't have to—that their startup will be huge—and convincing anyone of something like that must obviously entail some wild feat of salesmanship. The other reason parents may be mistaken is that, like generals, they're always fighting the last war.

5% an offer of 6. How has your taste changed? I don't consider myself to be doing research on programming languages. So if you want to work for, they may start to focus on working with other students they want as cofounders. Even though Y Combinator is teach hackers about the inevitability of schleps. And that statistic is probably not an option for most magazines. The seriousness of signalling risk depends on how far along you are with other investors seems the complementary countermove. Over in the arts. I don't know yet what the new rules will be, but it has to be better if both were combined in one group, headed by someone with a PhD in computer science, and it has to double: if you can imagine someone surpassing you, you can predict fairly accurately what the next few years will be like, but I'm not too worried about it.

Notes

That's because the arrival of desktop publishing, given people the first year or two, because they need them to private schools that in Silicon Valley, but suburbs are so different from a startup is compress a lifetime's worth of work into a fancy restaurant in San Francisco. We could be done, she expresses it by smiling more. It would have been the first question is only half a religious one; there is one that did.

The ordering system, which is probably part of a heuristic for detecting whether you realize it yet or not, and this is also a second factor: startup founders is how much they lied to them. Give the founders are driven only by money—for example, being offered large bribes by the financial controls of World War II was in logic and zoology, both your lawyers should be taken into account, they mean. It may be whether what you build for them.

We invest small amounts of new inventions until they become so embedded that they don't make users register to try to write it all yourself. It's lame that VCs play such games, but more often than not what it would be possible to have balked at this, but he got killed in the US treat the poor worse than Japanese car companies, but have no idea what's happening as merely not-too-demanding environment, and this trick merely forces you to agree. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you see them much in their target market the shoplifters are also the 11% most susceptible to charisma. If an investor makes you a clean offer with no valuation cap is merely boring, we found they used it to the biggest winners, which was acquired for 50 million, and don't want to work like they worked together mostly at night.

Except text editors and compilers. Users dislike their new operating system.

Thanks to Dan Giffin, Jessica Livingston, Hutch Fishman, Sam Altman, Robert Morris, and Ron Conway for sparking my interest in this topic.

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365days365movies · 3 years

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February 9, 2021: Doctor Zhivago (Review)

Note: WHOOPS! This one went out so late, it’s a day behind! My bad, guys. Next review is still coming tonight! Check out the bottom to see what it is!

Russia, man. It’s got one hell of a history, and while this movie definitely isn’t purely historically accurate, it definitely feels true to the time period. At least it does to me. Feels about as Russian as this:

And a pigeon photoshopped to look like it’s saluting Vladimir Putin definitely feels Russian to me. Honestly, this was going to be a longer joke, but...c’mon. Look at that. That’s perfect.

Anyway, the ironic thing is that this movie isn’t Russian at all. The book, of course, is Russian, but the movie definitely wasn’t. Then again, this came SMACK DAB in the middle of the Cold War, so...yeah, wouldn’t be Russian, would it? Makes it even more interesting to me that the movie was as popular as it was. Also interesting that, again, it inevitably came in second that year to another movie starring lovers in a country embroiled in a World War.

By the way, made a bit of an error in the Recap posts. This movie DID win 5 Oscars, but lost 4 to The Sound of Music. So, really, it won out more than I thought in the end, huh?

OK, so what did I think of this movie? Well, let’s get into it, huh? Check out the Recap (Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3) for more about the movie itself!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Without fear of pretense, I can say that both Omar Sharif and Julie Christie are fantastic as the main couple of the film. Their chemistry isn’t quite as sizzling as some of the others from this month, but it’s still there, and feels like a whirlwind romance as much as that of a seasoned couple who rely on each other to get through hardships, whether together or apart. And, hell, that’s some good chemistry right there, to be able to pull that off. Individually, of course, the two are quite stellar as well.

This cast, overall, is restrained in their emotional performances, which seems deliberate. Alec Guinness, though barely in the film, is still quite memorable for his role. No wonder he and Sharif are some of the director’s favorite standbys, also appearing in Lawrence of Arabia. Rod Steiger’s turn as Russia’s biggest asshole is also quite good, and contains some palpable realism to temper out his qualities as a villain that is extemporary to the film’s main conflict: war and politics. Speaking of villains, DAMN, Tom Courtenay! Pasha’s the most interesting character in the film for me, solely from a character standpoint, and I DESPERATELY want to know what happened to him after the war, and why exactly he was wanted. And Courtenay’s turn, from sweet and soft protestor, to determined revolutionary, to FUCK MY FAMILY COMMUNISM FOREVER is quite well done, and weirdly believable. So, yeah, props all around. Oh, and Geraldine Chaplin and Ralph Richardson should also get some of that credit.

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Once again, like preceding films, this is one of those films based on a book, by Boris Pasternak in this case. The film is apparently mostly faithful to the book in terms of plot, with certain elements and characters having been dropped out. Haven’t read it, but let me know how crazy the differences were, and if it hurt the film at all. Now, here’s the funny thing about the plot: I originally thought that this may have been a little...overdone. After all, this came out during the Cold War, and anti-Russian sentiment was pretty high in the USA and the UK at the time. But, apparently, that didn’t factor in as much as I thought! I mean, sure, it was still banned in the Soviet Union, but that’s not exactly a surprise, now is it?

Anyway, what did I think of the plot and writing? Both were good! Not exactly groundbreaking, but it was definitely a pretty great screenplay. Robert Bolt wrote it, and he won an Oscar for it for good reason. If I have a single criticism, it’s this: why couldn’t we have heard any of Zhivago’s poems? They’re real! Pasternak wrote them out and everything; check them out right here, if you’re curious. No other massive comments here, so moving on!

Directing and Cinematography: 9/10

Yeah, uh, holy shit, this cinematography is EXTREMELY good. Full stop, it’s legit some of the best I’ve seen. Some of that credit is funneled into the production and art design as well, but...LOOK AT THAT SHOT, GODDAMN IT. Shot composition throughout this movie is gorgeous, and this is just one example. The lighting is used in a clear narrative sense, especially when looking at someone’s eyes as they look at someone else. I mean, godDAMN, Freddie Young, you’re a rock star! And director David Lean is obviously no slouch either! I don’t think it’s as good as his other most famous film, Lawrence of Arabia, but it’s still fantastic.

Production and Art Design: 8/10

Hey, fun fact for you! This movie’s gorgeous winter landscapes and cinematography actually helped to inspire the look of Disney’s Frozen! Neat! And I’m not surprised, because this movie LOOKS fantastic. It’s quite good at capturing the splendor of Russian upper class lifestyle before the Revolution took place, as well as the dour aftermath of the Russian Civil War. It’s an iconic looking film, that’s for sure. The most iconic? Ehhhh, no, not really, but it’s definitely one I’ll remember for a few key scenes.

Music and Editing: 9/10

Has there ever been an instrument more Russian than the balalaika? And honestly, this film’s score is STILL stuck in my head with Zhivago’s theme, played on that very same balalaika! That instrument serves as the core of Zhivago’s leitmotif, representing his past in poverty, the inheritance of his mother, his forced-but-willing return to a more pastoral existence, as well as the symbol of connection with his child by the end of the film. And that musical symbolism is good, but the music itself is quite memorable as well! Seriously, as I type this, it’s still paying in my head, it’s incessant. Credit goes to Maurice Jarre for that little earworm.

Editing, too, is great! A lot of interesting scene transitions that I noticed, some of which are quite good. Norman Savage, another of Lean’s favorite guys, does some serious flexing of his skills, and somehow makes what should be a 3.33 hour slog into a surprisingly smooth watching experience! So, yeah, lots of editing talent needed to do that.

86% for the good Doctor and Lara!

Is it odd that I’d willingly watch this again, maybe with some friends next time? Might be a long movie, but I surely did enjoy it!

Might want to sew up the historical films soon, though. Let’s do another one, probably the last. But this time, let’s have it set in the same country that made it, and not the United States...hmmm...take place in a later time period, less touched by war...what else...probably going to have some infidelity, I can’t seem to avoid that this month...not based off of a book this time...and by a famous director.

OK, I think that settles it! Y’know, I think I’m enjoying this month, romance and all. I guess, after all this, I’m...

February 10, 2021: In the Mood for Love (2000)

#doctor zhivago #david lean #omar sharif #julie christie #geraldine chaplin #tom courtenay #alec guinness #rod steiger #romance february #user 365 #365 movie challenge #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #my gifs #mygifs #tuserjulian

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echodrops · 5 years

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Why You Should Be Shipping Shigaraki/Ochako

No, no, hang on a second--I see that side-eye you are throwing hard enough to ruin your peripheral vision. I feel the shade you’re casting like a thundercloud rolling in. But you didn’t read wrong. I meant what I said.

I’ve never made a secret of my love for rare pairs, but for once in my damn lonely shipper’s hellscape of a life I would love it if my favorite crack ship in a fandom had more than two fics (I’m NOT JOKING) to its name.

What can I do to correct this egregious oversight before the entire summer passes with nary a whisper of the most romantic ship since Juliet wherefore art thou’d Romeo?

Well, what else? I was forged in the fires of early 2000s’ fandom, and I know that desperate times call for desperate measures meticulously researched and extremely rose-tinted

Shipping Manifestos.

Fam, I am about to blow your minds, align your chakras, open your third eyes--because Shigaraki and Ochako is the most slept on ship in the entire BNHA fandom, and if you give me ten minutes like an hour (holy shit, this is long), I can prove it.

Disclaimer: @mistystarshine is the enabler who convinced me to write this but we were both enabled by @ohmytheon’s Reconfigure (on AO3) so you know who’s really responsible.

Spoilers to Chapter 231, watch out.

First off, I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you’re still reading from pure shock. Maybe you’re doubt-reading to get your daily fix of internet skepticism. Maybe you’re waiting for me to say these two characters are meant to be because she wears pink and his hair is blue. Maybe you’re already freaking out about age gaps but like that is what future fics and AUs are actually for!!!

I’m not telling you to give up your IzuOcha or Kacchako. I’m not gonna pry ShigaDabi out of your eager little villain stan hands. But if you’ve never considered multi-shipping, now is the time my friends, because I’m totally serious heartfelt here! I’ve got VALID reasons for shipping Shigako--ten of them, in fact:

1) Midoriya is taken for granted as Uraraka’s love interest--but Shigaraki is incredibly similar to him.

There are reams of meta on the parallels between Midoriya and Shigaraki, with plenty people noting how Horikoshi specifically set the two up as foils to examine similar character development despite their drastically different circumstances. Yet for all the meta pointing out that Shigaraki and Midoriya are basically the same character through a mirror darkly, I’ve never seen anyone bear that thought out to its logical conclusion: there are traits Uraraka admires in Midoriya that are extremely apparent in Shigaraki too.

Multiple times in the manga, Uraraka expresses admiration for Deku’s resolve and refusal to give up. His determination in the face of impossible odds and his sense of dedication to his cause are powerful motivating factors in Ochako’s storyline, and Deku’s behavior--his willingness to charge straight into danger and his unflinching pursuit of his goal to be #1--have basically become the standard to which Uraraka holds herself.

Her crush is literally founded on an appreciation for Midoriya’s drive, earnestness, and constant growth as a person.

But these are all traits that Shigaraki also explicitly possesses. Shigaraki’s unwavering resolve is so strong that even though everyone around him says dream is unattainable... they follow him anyway.

Ujiko flat out tells Shigaraki he’s chasing a pipe dream, but he’s willing to come along for the ride strictly because of how committed Shigaraki is to making that dream a reality. The strength of Tomura’s conviction alone persuaded a collection of the most volatile and difficult personalities in the manga to band together and become found family the most well-known anti-establishment organization in all of Japan.

Shigaraki never, even in the face of overwhelming threat, backs down from a challenge, and he approaches each impossible task with absolutely as much effort, ferocity, and refusal to quit as Deku. He is just as dedicated, just as much of a shounen protagonist main character, and just as willing to push himself above and beyond as Deku.

The traits that motivated Uraraka to become the character she is today, many of the exact same traits that formed her crush on Midoriya, are all there in Shigaraki. In another world, the person who inspired Uraraka to go “Plus Ultra” could be Tomura himself, and if 1) no sense of self-preservation, 2) ZERO CHILL, and 3) dogged obsession are what Uraraka finds attractive, Shigaraki clearly has 'em covered. Oh no, he’s meeting all my standards.

2) Being serious though, Ochako’s role in the plot would be vastly improved by more meaningful interactions with the antagonists, even if just in battle.

I’ve written before about how badly the writing of BNHA treats Ochako, and why her constantly being out-of-focus is a hallmark of the genre’s crippling inability to handle dynamic female characters, but it bears repeating: in her current position in the story, Uraraka’s character has minimal agency. She exists to fill the role of Deku’s love interest (at worst) and an emotional crutch (at best). Again, absolutely no hate on the IzuOcha ship--it’s clearly canon endgame and “wholesome” I guess is what they’re calling it nowadays. But the way IzuOcha’s being written in canon is actually the worst possible thing that could happen to Uraraka’s individual character, because Ochako’s crush on Deku has been given virtually no bearing on the story’s main plot and allows Horikoshi to consistently reduce Uraraka’s personal accomplishments to “inspirations from Deku” (in order to, likely, fulfill young male readers’ fantasy of having a girl fixated on them).

Is Uraraka about to do something cool in the manga? Wait for her comment about being motivated by Deku.

Does Uraraka actually get to see some action and get involved in a fight? Wait for someone to bring up her feelings for Deku.

Is Deku about to have a dramatic clash with the story’s villains to advance the main plotline? Wait for Ochako to entirely vanish (at worst) or get sidelined into a three panel clip where she’ll use the same martial art move she’s been using since like chapter 10 (at best).

If I have to read “Gunhead Martial Arts” one more fucking time... Give Ochako her OWN supermoves goddammit!!

The story of the comic itself continually pushes Ochako out of any position of relevance. She’s not one of UA’s strongest fighters (despite having a quirk that, if applied like ANY of the male characters, has incredible potential), she’s not given half the emotional depth or attention even side characters like Kirishima get, and her backstory lacks the development many of the male characters’ get (I’m looking at you, Todoroki).

As a “good girl,” she isn’t allowed to get her hands dirty like Toga, she isn’t allowed to get as bloodied or ugly as any of the boys, and she can never be allowed to surpass the main male characters in coolness or plot relevance because girls can be “heroes” but they can’t be The Hero™. (I’m literally gagging, guys.)

Which is EXACTLY why a plot involving Shigaraki and Ochako--in ANY capacity, even just a flat out fight against each other!--would actually be a fan-fucking-tastic addition to BNHA.

Skip the token Toga vs. Ochako chick fight where they squabble over who loves Izuku more. Let Toga talk to Izuku as herself for once. Let Uraraka throw down with the League’s leader. At least once, Horikoshi? Just once?

Literally any form of plot that puts Shigaraki and Ochako into contact would mean moving Uraraka into a more central position within the manga’s plot, would boost her screen-time, increase the likelihood of her contributing to the story’s primary conflict, and would give her more to do and emotionally engage with than just repeating the same lines about Deku being amazing on an endless loop. There is untapped character development potential in spades here if Uraraka was given chance to genuinely interact with the other half of the story’s cast!

Give👏 Uraraka👏 something👏 meaningful👏 to do!👏

Putting the story’s foremost female character on out there on the frontlines with the manga’s actual main character antagonist would finally break her out of the mold she’s been forced into by genre stereotypes and set her on an even playing field with the male heroes at last.

A meaningful encounter with Shigaraki could be Ochako’s ticket to being treated respectfully by the story itself (and hell if giving underappreciated characters a real place in the world isn’t Tomura’s freakin’ calling card already).

3) Okay, I know the words “subverting expectations” leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth nowadays, but there is a huge difference between “throwing inexplicable plot twists at the audience just for shock factor” and “averting stale cliches in an emotionally rewarding manner.” Sure, cliches do exist for a reason, but there are still many instances where actively avoiding a cliche plotline is a great choice. A shounen manga’s token love interest ending up with someone other than the hero--namely with a (reformed) villain--would be an interesting flip on the trite “hero gets the girl” script.

Look, we all know how it goes: Hero clashes with Bad Guy. They duke it out all over Kingdom Come. RIP like fifty square city blocks. The Hero wins, heads home triumphant, sweeps his Princess off her feet, and sails off into the hero rankings sunset. End of the same story we’ve seen a million times. Sometimes it’s done well and the audience is left satisfied. Other times, the heroine involved is reduced to the hero’s reward, less person than wish fulfillment. In either case, tying up a romantic subplot with a hero is the go-to way of resolving female characters’ storylines and, at this point, pretty much a given in manga, even when the romantic subplot is never given the development it deserves, leaving audiences bewildered at how and why the hook-up actually happened.

I’m not saying every comic should “subvert expectations” and cancel its romantic subplot between the hero and heroine, of course not. But I am saying that it would be pretty refreshing to see something else for once.

By virtue of their role, villains don’t usually “get the girl.” Even redeemed villains rarely end up in happy, healthy, well-written relationships. It’s not impossible but it is unlikely that a series’ designated female lead ever wavers in her attentions from the main hero to a new romantic target.

So it would be pretty cool if one did, if the moral of the story’s romantic subplot wasn’t just "token love interest completes painfully shoehorned romantic gestures.” A good romance with a redeemed ex-villain instead of a hero would take a lot more explanation. It would demand, by its very nature, more work on the author’s part to suspend disbelief. The characters would have to develop an entirely different rapport from the normal interactions between designated love interests, and, to a certain extent, strong character growth would be required in order for such a romance to even get started. There’s more moral complexity and conflict to a subplot like this, and a greater sensation of choice--if the heroine doesn’t have to end with the hero by the end of the story, well hey... That means she could end up with just about anyone. Whoa.

Even more so, in the specific case of Shigaraki, who has lived a life of misery and manipulation, the idea that he could come out on the other side, grow as a person, redeem himself, and eventually enter a healthy relationship with someone who isn’t going to hurt him is an idea I find deeply appealing. I think there are a lot of villain stans, myself included, who see parts of themselves in Shigaraki. If a character who has been so severely impacted by abuse can still heal and ultimately end up happy, to me, that’s a far more hopeful and heart-warming conclusion than the alternatives. I did warn you this manifesto would be rose-tinted, didn’t I?

I want storylines that prove that none of us are beyond saving. That people who make bad choices can still change. That romance isn’t a reward for playing the “right” role. That heroines have options. That there are still pleasant surprises to be found in romance plots.

4) But why Shigaraki and Ochako, in particular? It’s not like they have any remotely shared life experiences--

Oops. Friendly reminder: Ochako is the only major character in the manga besides the villains who is overtly described as, I quote, “poorer than poor.” Todoroki, Yaomomo, and Iida can all make it rain; Kaminari, Mina, and Jirou can afford stylish clothes; Kirishima can drop a stupid amount on night vision googles... Even Midoriya, whose father “works overseas,“ can afford plenty of All Might merchandise. One of the popular fandom theories for a while was that Ochako could be U.A.’s traitor specifically because of her desire to help her parents financially, and I think that most readers at this point can discern a clear divide in BNHA’s society: heroes are the “haves” and villains are the “have nots.” To be a hero in this story is to attend a prestigious school, have access to expensive support items, gear, insurance, fame and glory, etc.

Meanwhile, with the exception of All For One, to be a villain in BNHA’s story is to be marginalized, live in unfit conditions, lack access to basic safety and nutritional resources, and struggle to make ends meet. When ability to thrive in a hero-centric society is synonymous with being a good and worthwhile person, anyone who doesn’t just naturally excel in the hero-driven economy is treated as flawed at best and suspect at worst. Poor characters in the story are ignored, and, as demonstrated with people like Twice, left essentially to fend for themselves.

Uraraka’s status as lower income is mostly played for laughs. She’s still a privileged character in that she can attend U.A., receive hero items for free, has a safe place to live, etc. But it is important that the story acknowledges her family’s situation, because her financial status does set her apart from her classmates.

She is less privileged than the others. Being “the poor character” situates Uraraka in the interesting divide between those who couldn’t cope and chose to rebel against hero society instead, versus those who conformed to the hero system in an attempt to improve their situations. In different circumstances, if Uraraka’s family was just even the tiniest bit worse off, we might be seeing a very different character here, one who had to make some much harder choices to keep her family afloat.

Having been in the position of "going without,” Uraraka also has a unique understanding of the “real world” that many of her heroics classmates might lack. She understands what it is like to go hungry, to not be able to afford to keep up with the newest trends, to be constantly anxious about the future--to feel unsuccessful, overlooked, and under constant pressure to perform. As someone who wasn’t raised in the lap of luxury or even really a middle-class home, Uraraka has more insight into--and would likely have more empathy for--the plight of the downtrodden daily criminals of the BNHA world. Just based on her own life experiences, Ochako is more likely than her classmates to recognize how harsh reality can be, and understand the temptations that lead people to make terrible decisions.

This makes Ochako an especially interesting character in terms of her pro hero future. Would she be able to sympathize and reach out to struggling "villains” more effectively than others from her class, who lack her humble background? Would she be able to better see the big picture of BNHA’s society, and the way it actively creates villains from its marginalized populations? Would she be able to look at the League not just as criminals, but also as people who never stood a chance within the confines of a rigged social structure?

Uraraka’s background shifts her closer to the story’s villains than many of the other hero characters, and puts her in a unique place to both empathize and become motivated to change the flawed system that produced people like Shigaraki and the League in the first place.

5) Likewise, Uraraka’s background actually makes her more palatable to Shigaraki than other heroes. At least at the beginning of the comic, Uraraka isn’t shy about admitting that one of her reasons for becoming a hero is to help her parents financially. Ochako’s original motivation for heroism isn’t portrayed as nobly as others’ like Deku--Deku has no ulterior motives for being a hero; he just wants to save people and wouldn’t care about personally benefiting.

Instead, Ochako is presented as someone who (initially) sees heroism as a means to an end. It’s not that she doesn’t want to save people, but that she’s not doing so only for the intrinsic worth... the hefty paycheck that comes from heroism is a big draw.

Over time the manga has shown her shifting away from this (which actually makes her character less unique, unfortunately), but I’m sure it’s still a thought for her, and she’s definitely going to send paychecks to her parents in the future. At the end of the day, heroism is still going to be Uraraka’s ticket to a better lifestyle, even if she’s committed herself to it honestly by the time she leaves U.A.

But it’s this exact form of personal motivation that Shigaraki is much more likely to understand than the “goody-two-shoes” motivations of people like Deku. Multiple times in the comic Shigaraki has expressed confusion with society’s habit of clinging mindlessly to symbols, of their blind faith in the virtues of heroism, and their ability to simply overlook suffering because “surely a hero will do something about it.” Stain’s ideals about “true heroes” go straight past Shigaraki, who seems to hate heroes who are earnest (All Might, I’m talking about All Might) far more than those who are simply faking their way through for fame.

Shigaraki understands humans who are driven by personal gain. He respects the individual desires of people he cares about. Someone in the hero industry explicitly seeking tangible benefits would likely, to Shigaraki at least, come across as more genuine than someone who claims they have no ulterior motives, and a person who is blunt about their needs and grounded in the reality of BNHA’s world would likely be much more acceptable to Tomura than someone who spews trite lines about peace and justice.

Shigaraki’s feelings for heroes have been irreparably damaged by his conditioning from All For One, but there are certainly some heroes that he would find less loathsome than others. He will probably never understand Deku’s selflessness. All Might’s saccharine symbolism actively infuriates him. But a person who became a hero to put food on the table? To provide for her parents (maybe especially because it is her parents she’s trying to provide for)? That’s at least understandable. If the manga’s future does see Shigaraki redeemed, my thought is that the only type of heroes we’ll ever see him willingly interact with would still be heroes just like Ochako, with more “down to earth” personal motivations. Uraraka, your codename is “If I had to date a hero”...

6) While we’re talking about shared life experiences, there’s another very obvious similarity between Shigaraki and Ochako: neither one of them can touch things with all five fingers.

Cute/fridge horror observation: Shigaraki is even daintier about touching things than Uraraka is; Uraraka usually lifts just her pinkies, but Shigaraki frequently uses as few fingers as possible.

Yeah, yeah, they both have to be dainty and careful with everything they hold. It’d be cute to watch them eat together. They could mutually gripe about the annoyance of video game consoles not designed for four-finger use. More than that though, neither one of them can touch other human beings without the risk of causing death.

Uraraka, as a hero, has the more privileged quirk design (she can turn her quirk off, while Shigaraki can’t) and until recently, the comic was always very careful to portray Uraraka’s quirk in a way that no one was endangered by it. But dropping Zero Gravity into the hands of a villain for a single chapter reveals the truth: Uraraka’s quirk has just as much lethal potential as Shigaraki’s.

Like Shigaraki, Uraraka has to face the reality that her touch alone could jeopardize the safety of anyone she comes into contact with, in her daily life and in her hero work. Drop some debris without looking twice? Just crushed a civilian. Release your quirk without thinking? Now the villain you floated is paste on the sidewalk. Thought that it was safe to float away the building? Oops, you crushed someone still trapped inside. Yikes. In a one-on-one battle, Uraraka is actually at a disadvantage not because her quirk is weak, but the dead opposite--in an outdoor fight, she would have to actively work not to accidentally send people off into outer space.

Having an auto-activate touch quirk means that both Shigaraki and Ochako have to be conscious of every single thing they touch all the time. Both of their quirks require constant bodily awareness, and both come with the lurking knowledge that “My touch causes problems.” Even for Ochako, who would merely be a nuisance if she accidentally floated objects indoors, it’s easy to internalize frustration and negative associations with one’s own body. Every day, Ochako has to be careful with herself in a way that few of her peers do, another factor that sets her apart.

One of the story’s overarching themes is the idea of “self-acceptance” and what it even means to “accept yourself” in a world where (almost) every human being possesses a distinguishing feature, often built into their bodies at the expense of standard human functioning. For people with limited control over their quirks, who can’t choose when the effect activates, a quirk is a constant burden and facet of their identity that entirely re-shapes how they interact with the world. Both Shigaraki and Uraraka face the practicality of having burdensome, even lethal, auto-activate quirks that require constant self-awareness. This is a similarity that, of the major characters, only Shigaraki and Ochako possess so far. (Even other major characters with touch-based quirks like Overhaul appear to be able to choose when to activate their quirks).

The “funny” way Shigaraki and Ochako hold things seems like just a small similarity until you remember the amount of practice and frustration it must have taken to internalize a four-fingered touch. Until you remember that this similarity marks them both as very careful and self-conscious characters. Until you remember that Shigaraki’s got a one-touch instakill... but so does Uraraka Ochako.

7) Okay, similarities are cool and all, but you know what they say: opposites attract. And if we’re talking character motivation, there are no cleaner opposites in the entire series. Shigaraki and Ochako are actually even better emotional foils than Shigaraki and Deku, because Ochako’s central motivation is “Make as many people smile as possible” and Shigaraki’s is, literally, “Make it so no one can ever smile again.”

I know I ragged on it earlier, but now I’m going to use it to my full advantage: as the story evolved and characters grew, Ochako’s “true” motivation to become a hero revealed itself: she feels a deep, intrinsic happiness when witnessing the happiness of others. Her desire as a hero is to spread relief, the sense of security that allows people to go about their days smiling. She literally feels happiest when everyone around her is happy.

Even more so than Deku, this casts Uraraka as Shigaraki’s diametric opposite in the story, because Shigaraki’s entire pipe dream goal also hinges on the smiles of others--and how absolutely much he hates them. Shigaraki’s goal is total world destruction because he just resents the happiness of others that fucking much.

On the surface alone it’s more fascinating than the story will probably ever live up to: Ochako, the heroine who wants to spread smiles; Shigaraki, the villain who wants to destroy them. Even if we’re just talking canon, zero romance involved, that would still be an interesting conflict to explore. The story could cover a lot of deeper ground by drawing the comparison between these two characters more directly. It would definitely validate Uraraka being involved in more major plot events, at the very least.

BUT this was supposed to be about shipping, so of course I can’t leave it there, and leaving it there would only be half the story anyway, because nobody is born hating smiles. Everything we’ve seen of Shigaraki’s past so far indicates that he was a kid with a cute dog, a warm relationship with his sister, and an interest in heroes--i.e., a decent life that probably included his own fair share of smiles. Shigaraki’s hatred and resentment are direct products of the traumatic manipulation he suffered at AFO’s hands. He despises the idea that people around him can smile and act upbeat, even when they objectively know villains are lurking all around them. He is actually sick to his stomach at the idea of people blindly putting their faith in heroes, knowing what he does: that heroes often fail, that there are many people who desperately need to be rescued and are instead overlooked. The world failed Shimura Tenko and then had the nerve to keep on smiling without him.

Other people’s smiles represent nothing but the joy, security, love, and peace that Shigaraki Tomura hasn’t experienced since the day his quirk manifested. The sight of any living thing fills Shigaraki with rage because everything bright and beautiful, everything good and calm and kind and soft and warm, is everything that Shigaraki has lost and believes he will never, ever get to experience again.

Shigaraki doesn’t really hate the pure happy smiles of others; he hates the fact that the world has taken away every single thing he ever had to smile about.

It is my belief that Horikoshi is hinting at a redemption arc for Shigaraki, especially as we see the League become closer allies. But Shigaraki can’t be completely redeemed, can’t be persuaded to give up his world-destruction plan, until he can look at the smiles of others without scorn. Until the bright, upbeat attitudes of heroes other people no longer feel like a personal attack. Until he’s happy enough that the happiness of others no longer hurts. Until the weight is lifted.

And I can’t think of any character more obviously suited to helping lift an immense weight than Uraraka, the zero gravity hero who wants nothing more than to spread smiles.

8) Speaking of lifting weights... Kacchako is a popular ship stemming in large part from Bakugou’s refusal to treat Uraraka with kid gloves. He faces her head-on as a real opponent and views her like any other hero hopeful.

As I’ve said before, this is pretty much the most respectfully the series itself has ever treated Uraraka Ochako, and it caught a lot of attention because it was one of the rare occasions that a female pro hero-in-training was really treated as an equal to the male characters. Kacchako shippers had something awesome to work with.

But... You know who else treats women as equals? (Hell, you know who treats literally everyone as equals, from those with mutant quirks to trans people to those with severe mental health issues?) You can say what you want about Shigaraki’s habit of, you know, mass murder, but in terms of viewing others equally and respecting (okay, let’s be real, it’s probably closer to just ignoring) differences, Tomura is about as open-minded as BNHA characters come. The League is an equal opportunity employer.

Unlike actual hero characters, Shigaraki has never once suggested that Toga is incapable of keeping up with any of the male members of the League, and in fact has entrusted her with many of the League’s most dangerous and crucial missions. He explicitly has faith in her ability and skill.

Toga’s right there in the fight against Gigantomachia and the QLA, as much an equal member of the League as anyone else. In terms of gender equality, the villains seem to be light-years ahead of their hero counterparts, and Shigaraki in particular doesn’t discriminate, among his allies or his opponents either. He’s not a “spare the women and children” kind of guy; every hero and villain challenger is treated with equal violence (and equal snark), whether they’re male, female, a long-time pro or a student in training.

In whatever context--canon opponent, AU ally, or a future romantic interest--Shigaraki would take Ochako just as seriously as Bakugou did. If you like Kacchako because Bakugou doesn’t dismiss Uraraka, that same dynamic would be present in Shigako too.

9) And on the topic of Shigaraki and women... It doesn’t feel accidental that every single female character who ever had love for Shigaraki has been taken away from him. A distinct part of Shigaraki’s storyline is that all positive female role models have been systematically removed from his life. He lost his grandmother, a hero he could have looked up to; he lost his mother, who he now has no memory of; he lost the older sister he clearly held dear... All For One’s control over Tomura has always been total, but this particular detail feels especially insidious: was All For One’s spite for Nana so strong that he delighted in deliberately destroying every single relationship Tenko had with women connected to Nana’s legacy? (Or is AFO perhaps just a raging misogynist? Every single one of his known associates is male and he seemed to despise and mock Nana particularly hard...)

In any case, the point I’m trying to make here is that, even ruling love interests out, Shigaraki’s storyline would be enriched by forging a meaningful connection with a female character like Ochako. Acceptance--maybe even some grudging admiration--for a female hero? A fantastic opportunity to show just how different the “villains” are from the discriminatory society that produced them. Supporting friendship while he’s on the road to recovery? A+ way to diversify interactions between the male and female cast. Send a tough girl to Tartarus to question his motives? Nice chance for tense dialogue and some good old noire-esque foe yay. Hostage situation that takes a turn for the surprisingly cordial? Fun way to explore different dynamics and humanize the villains because hey, they treated the “damsel” to dinner shortbread cookies. My god, Shigaraki could even develop some positive sense of rivalry with a woman, for example! The possibilities are endless if you’re actually willing to give female characters a shot!

Being more serious, Tomura’s life has been dramatically marked by the loss of his female family members, and--at least from what we know so far--his entire youth was spent without the presence of reliable friendships, let alone any form of “love” that wasn’t disturbingly fake. Beyond his fragmented memories, he has no models for healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise.

Letting Shigaraki develop to the point that he could form a mutually positive relationship with a female hero character would be extremely cathartic for me as a reader. I don’t mean “rewarding redemption with a last-minute happy ending romance”--I mean actually getting the opportunity to watch Tomura rediscover what it means to be genuinely loved and realize he has the capacity to give love and be happy in return...

Reaching that level of mutual support and closeness--especially with a female pro hero--would be the biggest “FUCK YOU” that Shigaraki could give to All For One, short of, you know, actually killing him.

Shigaraki Tomura has a critical (and deliberate) lack of healthy connections to women. BNHA, coincidentally, has a criminally under-utilized female lead just twiddling her thumbs over here, waiting for a meaningful plotline to be thrown her way.

Sure, putting AFO in prison is cool and all, but have you considered... crushing his pride and legacy of evil by helping the boy he tortured for years learn to love again? I’m just sayin’!

Uraraka Ochako, snatching Shigaraki right the fuck out of AFO’s hands:

10) Basically what the whole thing boils down to is this: Shigaraki Tomura needs a hero.

Don’t mistake my meaning. A lot of “girl meets bad boy” plots end up amounting to “girl becomes emotionally responsible for fixing bad boy’s issues,” and that’s not what I’m gunning for--Shigaraki has to redeem himself because redemption is only meaningful when it stems from the character’s own inner desire to change; I’m not quite rose-tinted enough to buy into the Love Redeems trope myself. I’m definitely not advocating anyone dump Shigaraki Tomura as he is now into Uraraka Ochako’s lap and expect her to turn him from a beast to a beauty. It’s not an unrelated woman’s responsibility to fix a broken man.

But! From a reader’s perspective, I think we can agree: Shigaraki’s redemption cannot be complete until he learns to believe in real heroes. He doesn’t have to like them. He doesn’t have to support hero society. But he has to be able to look at real heroes like Izuku and Ochako and admit that they are doing what’s right--that society is a better place because they are here. Shigaraki’s path to recovery can’t even begin until he’s capable of at least acknowledging that the world has things worth saving in it.

If Horikoshi moves forward with a redemption arc for Shigaraki, it will probably be Deku who Detroit Smashes the message of truly noble heroes into Shigaraki’s head. That’s his job as the resident Warrior Therapist, I suppose. But you know... to me, it might be even more meaningful if Shigaraki’s hero--if the hand that reaches out to rescue him--isn’t The Hero’s™ but just a hero’s. We all know Deku is selfless and good to the core. As All Might’s perfect successor, he really has nothing to prove. It’s everyone else who is in question. It’s the whole rest of hero society that owes Shigaraki Tomura an explanation for the suffering of people like the League’s members. It’s everyone else who needs to prove they can do better--that in the future, there will be no bloody children left abandoned in back alleyways.

Uraraka Ochako’s conviction is to save people. As a female hero who hasn’t lived a privileged life, she’s uniquely situated to think about those who are most often overlooked. In a world where violence begets violence, where only those with strength and flash excel, what a powerful message it would send for the terrifying antagonist to effectively be rescued by someone the story itself has called “a frail girl.” At the end of the day, heroics isn’t supposed to be about mountain-destroying explosions and mach punches--heroics is supposed to be about heart, about reaching out a gentle helping hand, about spreading smiles to those who need them most.

Tomura’s faith in heroes has been brutally stripped from him, and every part of his conflict is tied up intimately with his misdirected hatred: it wasn’t actually heroes who isolated and hurt him--it was villains. In order to move forward, he will have to come to that horrible realization, deal with that means for himself and his place in the world, and recognize the truth: there are goodness and good people in the world. Selfless heroes, those who wouldn’t turn their backs on a crying child, do exist. There are people, even now, who would extend a kind hand to Shigaraki Tomura and do their best to bring a real smile to his face. Because that’s what’s really going on, after all.

Shimura Tenko is still waiting to be saved.

And I know just the person to do it.

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ankhjohn · 4 years

Text

clergy, sex, success, and me

I was born in the middle of 1941. The Second world war had just begun. I can't recall anything much before the age of eight, but I can remember certain places and events like they happened yesterday. Public schools in the inner city, and especially Jr. high, were repetitious, boring, and very dangerous to attend. Back then, every other kid had a switch blade knife, and they were plenty eager to wave them around to intimidate and threaten any body they felt like messing with, including teachers, and sometimes even cops.

Once, I witnessed a stabbing in the school cafeteria. The very quick and violent nature of that horribly messy act frightened me immensely, and it was that experience that made me realize that I was, unfortunately, a coward. It was very disturbing, and it affected me for a very long time afterward.

Up until 1954, I was what was considered to be a clod and a nerd at school, Something equivalent to a non-entity. I had no idea how suddenly my life was about to change. Every day I constantly faced being bullied on the way to school, at school, and on the way home from school. I developed rudimentary time schedules, and tentative escape routes, or safe places, in order that I could have the best chance of making it home unhurt and alive. That seemed to work most of the time, but several times it did not, and I paid dearly for the mistake.

Toward the end of the school year in 1954, just before my birthday, and a well earned, glorious three month vacation, I was run down by two boys on the way home from school, and I got roughly pushed around as they brandished their 'blades'. I was given the choice of sucking their dicks or suffering a beating by both of them. Now some will say never, but this frightened 13 year old left that culvert party unharmed beyond the humiliation, a few bruises from getting knocked around, and dirt on my knees, They let me go with a warning not to tell anyone. I did not. It was too embarrassing, and the stigma at the time would have isolated me completely from my peers, parents, and teachers, not to mention the fear of retaliation, but the worst thing of all, was to be branded a 'queer'.

Summer vacation finally arrived and a friend I will call 'Tom”, from school, came to visit me at my home on one bright Saturday morning and convinced me to accompany him to his friends house that lived in another part of the neighborhood to pick up some money, and then we could go to the movies, and get a hamburger and drinks afterward. I agreed to go with him, and we set off immediately. Soon we arrived at a very nice apartment building and Tom rang the bell. A buzzer sounded, and He pushed the door open widely and as we climbed the short flight of stairs, we entered into a very plush and rich interior filled with antiques and art. Two older men happily greeted us with smiles, and sat us down on a huge couch in the palatial living room. One of the elderly gentlemen went to the kitchen and brought out two beers and set them on the coffee table using coasters that depicted nude reclining male figures. I thought it was curious, but amusing.

The beer was bitter, and I knew I would not be able to finish it. I glanced at Tom as he took a sip of the beer and to my surprise, he downed the whole thing. After setting the glass back on the table, Tom quickly proceeded to undress right on the spot. I didn't know what was happening, until my friend pulled down his underwear, and revealed his very generous boner, which in turn, was immediately set upon by one of the elderly gentlemen, who began doing to him what I had to do to the two boys from school.. That was when the other guy began unzipping my pants and exposing my penis. I was frozen in my spot and my face flushed, my heart was pounding like a rod going out on a diesel engine. I was so embarrassed I thought it would be impossible for me to get an erection under this surprising turn of events. Why, I thought, would anybody want to suck my dick in the first place? Well, here was someone who obviously seemed more than happy to do it, and after a bit of gentle coaxing, I did get an erection, and he did get me to blow a load of cum on his tonsils.

I was complemented by the older gentleman for my 'pervormance', and I realized an immediate new sense of confidence in my sexual prowess, it seemed to give me a feeling of a new identity, as if a new person had unfolded in me that day, and as a result of this realization, the 'queer thing', as well as the age difference, became a non-factor for me. I had become sexually liberated! As we were leaving, my friend and I each received a ten dollar bill, for our obviously successful efforts, with an open invitation to visit at any time. We then spent the afternoon at the movies and stuffed ourselves on everything you can imagine that a thirteen year old would do with 10 bucks.

My life changed overnight that day. I felt 'adult' so to speak. Soon, my visits to the apartment became pretty regular, and I had plenty of money in my pocket. My mother worked as a hostess for a nightclub and her take home pay for a 40 hour week was $35.00. I was making more money than my hard working mother. At school, I loaned out lunch money and it wasn't long before just about everybody in my classes 'owed' me money. Life was good. And when you're on top of the world, it can be a long fall to the bottom if you slip.

I was fourteen now, and Tom, the same friend that introduced me to the homosexuals, invited me for a three way with a smart looking red headed woman in her thirties. The thought was scary and exciting at the same time. I had seen my Friend in action a few times by now, but never had contact with him in that manner. What could possibly go wrong? Well, the red head experience is one I won't soon forget, or get over, for that matter. I felt I had just secured my sexual 'spot' in the world, when Tom and I dated the older woman and he guaranteed that she was a good tipper. She picked us up at a local hamburger stand in the afternoon, and drove us to a secluded section of a nearby park whereupon I performed what I thought was a pretty darn good job, then Tom took his turn, and apparently, it wasn't received with the same enthusiasm, because when he ejaculated in her face, he also decided to urinate to finish the job. That red head really got pissed off. She was hot, hollering, spitting, and snatching her bra off the steering wheel, she kicked us out of her car and we had to walk home. I never got a cent for my valiant effort. Gee,.. thanks Tom,....

Three days after the episode with the red head, my mother had to take me to the doctor because of the large, very painful weeping sores which suddenly appeared on the head of my penis. It was so bad, I guessed they didn't even want to tell me the name of the disease, because they would only refer to the word in my presence using initials. Something like, T.S.P. , or L.S.D., I can't remember, but I do remember the tool of my new found trade being broken and the future of my primary source of income and enjoyment, was in jeopardy. But that was for the future, right now the pressing problem was answering a lot of embarrassing questions from a lot of pissed off adults. I was pretty sure Tom was going through the same thing, and I wondered how he was 'copulating' with the situation. I would have liked to have called and talked with him, but it was impossible, I was being too closely watched, like perhaps they might watch someone for attempting suicide or something.

I tried playing the unknowing recipient of some dreaded disease that I had obviously contacted from some unsanitary toilet seat at some unmemorable filling station. It seemed to work for the moment, but soon I was confronted with real names, and places and events with astonishing accuracy, and there was little I could do to offer any story, and I resigned myself to suffer the consequences for my actions. One of the conditions of my subsequent probation (for lying to police) was that I was told I was no longer allowed to communicate or see my friend Tom. That restriction however, did not last long. My dick healed up in about 3 weeks. It was too painful for me to get an erection or masturbate during that period, and I was celibate the whole time. One boy suggested that I had the clap so bad they called it “applause”... Very funny.

It amazed me to see how the size of my dick shrank in direct proportion to how sick I got. It finally got better enough that I began to gently exercise it, slowly bringing it back to life and serviceable operation. I wanted to continue enjoying the lifestyle I had enjoyed before the crash. I didn't know exactly how, but I was determined to resume my new found enjoyment-employment. The end of summer arrived, and the stress of school once again loomed before me, Because I was not allowed out alone, I spent a lot of time in my bedroom playing music, and taking long showers, to conceal my masturbatory habits. Sometimes In bed, would masturbate into my dirty socks, and put them in the laundry... Mother never thought to look there for evidence...

Returning to school, all I could think of was how I was going to face all my teachers and peers. Talk about stage fright! I was already trying to think of ways to gain some personal time out of the school day. Maybe volunteer for some activity or get study hall, or anything I could use to disguise some unsupervised time after school so I could resume where I left off...

Like an answer to my prayers, God Himself was to intervene and send me a mentor and benefactor, in the form of one Reverend P.J. Goodbody, (not his real name..), a local pastor who worked with wayward kids through his church, and with the juvenile court, turned out to be my assigned probation officer. Since P.J. Knew my case history, it wasn't long before ol' P.J. Had me in his office with his lips on my dick up to my balls... In his car...and several times, in the parking garage. Once, he suggested a filling station restroom for a quickie, but I drew the line at that for obvious reasons, and instead we ended up in a truckers shower on I-5, a few miles away.

My duties were mostly maintenance in and around the church. Our 'professional session' was “as needed” and if I literally “got off early” I could get time for myself that was vouched for by the good reverend, P.J. and needless to say, it was a “marriage” made in heaven. Mother would pick me up immediately after school and drop me off at P.J.'s office. He would take care of 'business' right away, and then I would water the lawns and shrubs, take the garbage out, and whatever was needed. After that, I could do what I wanted for a couple of hours, and that included going down town on 'errands'. Just like mission impossible, P.J. Did speak to me about being caught where I shouldn't be, and told me he would have to disavow any claims resulting from such a situation, otherwise, I should have a good time. I wasted no time.

Remember when I was worried about facing my peers? Well, a little advertising certainly goes a long way, and everybody in school was talking in front of, on the side, behind my back, and over my head. I would get razzing and giggles, and some unusual inquires, but everyone of the general population pretty much kept away from me. Oddly enough however, during this time, I was being covertly propositioned by some of the most unlikely students of both sexes. Several boys wanted mutual masturbation, another was interested in anal sex, A girl suggested oral sex. And then, My math teacher began occasionally keeping me after school for “Special instruction” which of course, took place in the cloak room. Opportunities abounded, but these were non paying jobs as far as I was concerned, more or less a good will tour, if you know what I mean.

Do you have any idea how hard it was in the 1950's for an underage boy to get a blow job on the street? If you were young, horny, and wanted sex, your best bet was to join a church. In 1955, I was bumping into other guys my age that were having similar experiences, and we would talk about them whenever we got together. I eventually 'gave' and 'got' through the school year with the help of P.J., who was thanked profusely by my mother for the vast improvement in my attitude and calming my wild ways. I wanted to say: Jesus mom, I blow a load of cum down his throat twice a day, No wonder I'm calm! But I didn't want to spoil it, I was having a good time, and things were looking up.

With spiritual guidance from the good reverend, I gradually acquired several regular 'customers' from the religious community. For a while, it seemed like I was going from 'parson to parson'. I have to say they were very gentle and grateful. I didn't always get paid in money, but there were pool parties with food, drinks, gifts, weekend stay overs, and the very busy hot tubs. I seemed to be popular at the time, because I had a good history of keeping quiet. And why not? What has being truthful ever gotten me? The whole idea of this 'truth will set you free' thing, seemed counter-intuitive to me from the beginning. The truth has never set me free. It only frees the cops, the attorneys, and the judge.

So far, My sexual contact with a woman had proven to be a rather negative, and downright disastrous event, but I still wanted to explore this realm a bit more intimately, and I came to the conclusion that I was not a homosexual, nor was I heterosexual, but just plain sexual. Which is not to say I was in it primarily for the sex, but more as the means to enjoy a social standing I would not normally have been able to experience. In other words, it became kind of a hobby with benefits. While there were the occasional negatives, there were far more positives as a result of those relationships. In a sense, my “friends” had become clergy, attorneys, doctors, dentists, you name it, I had the best advice and support that money alone cannot buy, and I have yet to meet a stingy cocksucker among them.

That summer and winter came and went and I was spending a minimal amount of time at home because of my involvement with the whole church business. The year seemed to pass quickly. Things had settled in, and my time became very structured in terms of who, where, when, and what. I had liked the way things were going, and I didn't want or think that it might end any time soon. Another boy who I did not know, but had seen hanging around Tom, spilled his beans after a brief cross examination by his parents, and my name came up along with others, and the cops eventually showed up at my door for a bit of a chat about who I knew, and when... I have to admit it was intimidating and I was genuinely scared, but I held out, hoping they would get tired and go away. I didn't want to get in a jam like I did last time, so it was all or nothing, todo or nada. I refused to talk at all. I clammed up as if frightened, and I was. Finally they left, but vowed to see me again. That was not the end of it by any means, but for now my mind was swirling with thoughts of doom. I had no idea what was going to happen to P.J. and the 'gang', and most of all, Me.

P.J. Wound up getting arrested for oral copulation with a child under the age of fourteen, and along with two other acquaintances, were convicted. I refused to incriminate him and instead, I extolled his virtues in my deposition, lauding him for keeping me on the 'straight' and narrow. As a matter of fact, my grades were very good, and I had not gotten into any 'regular' trouble since he became my probation officer. Coincidentally, My attorney turned out to be a queer friend of P.J.s, and he was eventually able to keep me out of the juvenile justice system. Unfortunately, I still had to deal with my parents. By this time, my parents had enough and sat me down for a discussion which consisted of them yelling at me for a long time. They finally got tired and threw their hands up in the gesture of giving up. Since the tough love approach didn't work, they were ready to allow my emancipation, but only when I turned fifteen in another month, and if I stayed out of trouble until then, I was good to go. I was delighted, of course, but with serious twinges of uncertainty.

I turned fifteen in the summer of'56, I was finally emancipated, and my classes had been modified to accommodate 'sexualized' students like myself. I was in a class with the bad boys, and I was accepted as one of them. A club, as it were, for comrades in arms and action. I was no longer considered a nerd, or a clod. I had graduated to 'punk loser', and in a weird sort of way, I couldn't have been happier with my new found identity. Looking back, you might say I would have been better off hanging out with the 'A' students, but I eventually went to work for an interesting gay and generous company that employed me for my skill in customer relations and closing important deals I was good at what I did, and why not? I had plenty of experience!

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wordsfromgrime · 4 years

Text

One Night in Richmond

~Busted~

It never hurts to show up with a case of beer so I stop at Lombardy Kroger on my way to the Circle and pick up some Blue Moons and a box of popsicles -both alluding to the festive mood facing through the air. This morning the mayor announced the resignation of our only ten-day old police chief, and while many understood the dense socio-political tactics implied with the decision, most celebrated the occasion as well. A Friday night at the top of summer will always carry with it feelings of excitement and reward.

I pull my bike up to the normal spot at Marcus-David Peters Circle and recognize a few familiar faces in the soft afterglow of dusk’s light. The sun is just now setting, leaving only about 30 minutes until full darkness and the cover that comes with it. Now, the sun is still tightrope walking over the horizon, the sky shimmering with raspberry-lemonade tones and watermelon marshmallow clouds. Around the turn of the Circle a free concert is underway, made possible with just a microphone, a generator, and a few amps. We doodle with spray-paint, or attempt freestyle tricks on our fixed gears, as we sip beers and bust musings on the day.

We’re all rocking on the obvious cookout vibe, but we’re tentative as well; We aren’t completely relaxed. We’ve seen things turn from lax to chaos before, in only a second, for no reason at all, and we know it can happen again. When you’re facing an enemy that has full control over the definitions of combat, it’s forgiven to feel nervous.

For now though, it’s good vibes and sunshine. And while our conversations dance around the protests, the police, police brutality, human rights, the mistakes of the generations before us, and our determination to fix those mistakes, mostly we just talk about Richmond. It’s hard to explain Richmond to someone who hasn’t stayed there for any amount of time. Richmond is like an oasis that’s also a black hole. Richmond is the place you’re trying to get out of, and also the place you can’t wait to be back in. Richmond is the place you think you deserve. Richmond is where a lot of us feel most at home, but it’s a home that needs sweeping renovations.

As we expound freely on the failures and accomplishments of the capitol city, more and more of our friends arrive, skidding to stops at the periphery of our claimed area and slowly increasing our settlement size. It’s easy to dominate a space when everyone arrives with a bicycle, and in our group it’s pretty much a necessity to show up with some wheels of a sort. Besides a general interest in protesting the state, bicycles have been the strongest conjoining factor throughout the ragtag group of friends that I’ve been meeting with near-daily since the brutal murder of George Floyd at the end of March.

Some of these friends, like Salad (our stoic, de facto captain of the group who’s got friends in every part of town) and Funky (our resident artist and Big Wheel extraordinaire), I’ve known for a while and originally met just by biking in the same parts of town. But others, like Sophia (badass girl with a Wide Bars/Big Heart combo) or Johnny (no fixie yet [just a road bike], but is well-loved for his reputation of generosity and hilarious braggadociousness) I’ve only spent real time with since the protests began. All in all, there’s about 12 of us that have formed a little posse of itinerant protestors. Every summer brings with it something new, but something about the revolution marching down the streets had this summer already feeling particularly seismic. And something about all that “newness” in the air made me feel more like a kid again.

Soon, a few men in assault rifles and military vests approach us, seemingly threatened by their own lack of acceptance and comradery now reflected against our group of laughing friends.

“Is this your tent? This tent’s gotta go!” the man begins the conversation, unaware or unwilling to exchange pleasantries.

“It’s not our tent but we don’t think it should go”, a few people begin to say at once. “That tent is covering a free community library.”

“Well, when the cops get here this is going to make them upset, and they’re going to come in here and destroy it anyway,” the man says. “So I’m just saying y’all should take it down before I come back with a few other guys with rifles and take it down myself….cuz we don’t want the cops to come!”

“You can do whatever you want, man, but we’re not going to take down some tent that isn’t ours just because you think the cops might come,” our friend Amin (always good for a giant smile and a fat joint) says. “And also, that whole theory doesn’t make a lot of sense to me” He punctuates this last part with a tip of his head and a swig of his beer.

The man grumbles to himself and walks away, returning ten minutes later with his aforementioned rifled goons, as well as a lady that doesn’t really seem to fit in with them.

“This lady owns the library so we’re getting her to take it down,” the man says, directing his speech towards our group for no apparent reason other than to start a conflict. He was obviously oblivious to how his aggressive, commandeering attitude was completely antithetical to the entire idea of the community space that is Marcus-David Peters Circle…or maybe he was just an asshole. Regardless, he was a blatant intimidator, and unless we’re talking about Number 3 (RIP) there’s just no room for that inside the Circle.

We ignored whatever the guy was trying to serve to us and kicked back, but soon the man was back again with an even larger group, now forcefully encouraging everyone to exit the interior of the Circle under the assurance that “the cops can’t touch us if we aren’t in the Circle”. As one tends to notice, it’s hard to say “no” to a group of men with large guns in their hands, so the group was having large amounts of success with their attempts to incentive people out of the area. Our group, though still not understanding completely or agreeing with the logic of the move, followed suit, packing up our blankets, beers, and popsicles.

Not five minutes after the entire populace of the Circle had been cleared out of the area that lay surrounded by graffitied barriers, officers in riot gear began to arrive, just as the man earlier had “predicted”. Predicted! *Hmpf*! Predicted, or imprecated? Or better yet, foretold? Because I reckon it’s a hell of a lot easier to predict the future when you’ve got a direct line to the chain of commands. I also reckon that about the only person who would come up and complain about the tent covering up a free library was some bootlicking wannabe-cop snitch who knew, without a doubt, that the cops were coming that night, whether they had a reason to or not.

And, of course, there was no reason that any amount of police officers, let alone 50+ outfitted in full riot gear, should have appeared that night. No reason for a city to sic a militarized pack of baton-wielding goons on its own people. No reason why the citizens of Richmond could not have just been left to be: listening to music, drinking beers, talking with friends. These were the crimes we committed before being attacked.

As police announced to the crowd that the surrounding area had been declared an “unlawful assembly” by the state, tempers began to flare on both sides. Rampant rubber bullets and flash bang grenades sliced through the air, as chants and screams rose up from the civilians. Suddenly, the space felt like a warzone, a battle with what seemed like completely lopsided enemies. On one side stood line after line of grown men adorned in battle armor, helmets, and shields. Some held Assault Rifles or guns meant for firing rubber bullets and smoke canisters; all wore heavy, polished, steel-toed boots. On the other side stood men, women, children, and pets equipped with nothing more than their wallets, sunglasses, tank tops, and shorts. Some held bottles of water for extinguishing smoke, others had gloves on for tossing tear gas canisters away; all wore a sense of fear, anger, confusion, and determination on their face. These Richmonders, who had done nothing more than to enjoy the public space of their city, would not be deterred so easily. A feeling had spread through the crowd that we would not be punished unjustly tonight. If we were going to have to face the consequences of merely existing in the street, then we weren’t going down without a fight.

The ranks of G.I. Joe-pretenders slowly increased their perimeter, pushing citizens further and further from the reclaimed art space at the epicenter of the Circle. Soon, we stood in the middle of Park Avenue, a block from Monument Avenue, and still we were being told to “back up” and “get out of the street”, by both RPD and VSP. It seemed the boars with badges would not be content until they had claimed the whole neighborhood as their own Draconian hang-space.

When my friend Nick (The big love bully - The homie to ask you if you’re okay when you’ve got a down face) shines his flashlight toward a group of suspicious looking officers, he’s swarmed upon by a particularly dorky looking Virginia State officer who accosts him with a completely trivial question about the bike he’s riding.

“Whoah! Hey! You got lights for this bicycle here?” the officer asked, taking strides closer and closer to us, hand on his hip.

“Two, actually!” Came Nick’s response as we all flipped our bikes around to put some space between the officers and ourselves. “You’re not gunna get us on some shit like that!” He shouted over his shoulder as we pedaled up the street towards a safer space. “ya dumbass cop”

With some distance between the commotion and us, we regroup. Nick, Sophia, Salad, Ryan, Johnny, and I squad up at a park only a block away.

“Shit’s wild”

“What even started this?”

“Oh, they’re definitely mad about the chief resigning.”

“I saw someone get hit right in the face with a rubber bullet”

“Fuck!”

“I saw a couple kids with paint guns shooting at the cops, I think that’s what started it all”

“I mean, the cops started it all when they showed up…”

“AGREED!”

Looking behind him, Johnny says, “This car coming up is an unmarked cop car, anyone want to see where it’s going?”

“Let’s do it”, I say.

And we take off. The two of us darting after this beefy-looking tinted black SUV, keeping close but keeping our distance.

After a few blocks Johnny turns to me and says, “They aren’t going anywhere interesting, let’s head back.” and we reverse-course towards the way we came.

Coming back up towards the intersection where we left the rest of our friends, I can’t say that anything felt particularly off, though it did seem a little quiet, not a simple quiet but a stifled one.

As Johnny and I make our way through the shadow left in the space between two light posts, we hear a “GRAB HIM!” and a hidden mass springs from the darkness. I watch as Johnny’s bike finds the space between charging homunculus and a row of cards and skirts through it successfully, just as the same cop changes direction to tackle me off my bike (FUCK!). The goon leaps into the air as gracefully as an anemic hippopotamus, and tackles me off my bike with the ease of a drunken uncle at Thanksgiving.

“All right, big guy, you got me! You can chill out.” I say to the panting officer now shoving my arms in positions not familiar to them, restraining my non-resisting body with the help of 3 or 4 buddies. “I appreciate all the attention but it’s really not necessary”

“It’s for both of our safeties”, the stormtrooper says to me without looking at my face, instead holding his nose high with eyes darting around the perimeter like some cracked-out hound-dog.

“Oh yeah, I bet”, I say, laughing a little. “Hey man, you having any fun?”

The officer just grunts.

“Aw, c’mon man, what’s your name?”

“Officer Harris” Still no eye contact.

“Hey, officer Harris, you having any fun out here? It’s ok to have fun, I’m having some fun, are you having fun?”

Officer Harris shifts his weight from one foot to the other, rolls his tongue across his upper teeth, and says out of the side of his mouth, “Yeah, I’m having a little fun…but you guys are making it hard for us out here.”

“GROSSSSSSS!” I say laughing from the pit of my stomach, “Oh, Officer Harris, we’ve got real problems” And I continue to laugh as this confused cop looks down on me, still zip-tied at his feet. I was beyond affable at this point from the adrenaline and alcohol coursing through my bloodstream, and while the fear of this cop and his gang of buddies assaulting me crossed through my mind, I figured if I was in for a penny I was in for a pound. Being arrested for protesting the police force already put me in a vulnerable position, and I figured the policeman’s image of me couldn’t be altered much in the short time we were interacting with each other, but I wanted to say one more thing before Officer Harris cast me aside as some wanton rioter.

“I hope you don’t think I’m just some white punk, some revolutionary with no cause. I’m fighting for what I believe in, and I sleep well every night, Officer Harris, do you?”

“I try,” Khaleed Harris said with a sigh as he put me in a cage in the back of a van.

“Now, watch your head.”

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trashmagines · 5 years

Text

You’re Awful, I Love You: Jason Todd x Female!Assassin!Reader

TrAshy Says: You guys can’t seem to get enough of Jason and neither can I tbh. Yes, this title is totally the name of a LUDO album. It’s a not a song fic but while you’re reading it might be fun to listen to Love Me Dead ;) Also, let it be known that I don’t know shit about guns, but I tried. We cool? We cool. <3

Warnings: Reader has killed people, guns, some violence, alcohol mention, one drunk dude, long as fuck (to me anyway)

You watch through the end of your scope as the Bat effortlessly takes down yet another armed thug. As far as you can tell, Gotham is one big cesspool that Batman is just trying to clean up. You’re almost, almost sad it has to be this way; that you have him as a target. Nevertheless, money talks, and you’re being paid well to do a job, not get emotional.

Batman finishes off the last of his adversaries, his back facing you. At this point he’s practically begging you to take the shot, and you’re about to when you’re suddenly thrown to the ground face first. A swift kick to your torso knocks the wind out of you, and you feel a large weight settle on your lower back.

“Don’t struggle; I’d hate to have to mess up such a beautiful face.”

Robin. How the fuck did you forget about Robin? You feel some kind of tie enclose around your wrists while you’re mentally chastising yourself for not factoring in boy wonder, and the sensation makes you groan internally. A pair of boots enter your field of vision, and you look up to meet the eyes of the man in the Batsuit. Great.

They haul you off to what you assume is the Batcave; Batman leading you to an interrogation room like the prisoner you currently are, and Robin dropping off your equipment before joining you both. Under the intense fluorescent lighting, they can see just how young you appear to be, a fact that seems to trouble Batman by the look in his eyes. He asks the standard questions: who are you, who hired you, and why would you do this? Your exasperated sighs and eye rolls are his only answers; like you’re really going to tell him any of that.

Unfortunately, some state-of-the-art facial recognition technology exposes a good chunk of your history, including your name. You’re an assassin, bounty-hunter, murderer-for-hire; if it has to do with capturing, killing, and money, you’ve probably dabbled in it. Batman rapidly scans your extensive rap-sheet while Robin eyes you with the cockiest smirk you’ve ever seen on a person. God, you can’t decide if you want to kiss him or choke him out.

“I’d like to make you a deal, Y/N.” “A deal? You’re aware that I was this close to murdering you, right?” “I know, but you didn’t.” “Yeah, your sidekick showed up.” “You had ample opportunities before that. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’d been watching me for some time. You most likely had plenty of openings; shots you could have taken but didn’t.” “I was waiting for the perfect moment and got interrupted.”

You’re lying. Batman knows it, Robin knows it, and you know it. Sure, you were about to shoot before Robin intervened, but Batman was right, you’d had plenty of openings beforehand and hadn’t utilized any of them.

“From this list of confirmed kills, I can tell you usually only go after the worst of the worst. Someone most likely offered you an amount of money you couldn’t refuse, so you took this assignment. You don’t seem like a bad person, Y/N, and I think you could be a valuable asset to me.” “Are you... offering me a job?” “That’s exactly what I’m doing. In exchange for becoming one of the good guys, I won’t throw you in Arkham for trying to kill me. Do we have a deal?” “...Deal.”

Six months later

“You’ve got to stop drawing your gun on me when I come into your room!” “Then stop sneaking in through the fucking window and use the door! We live in the same mansion Jason, it makes no sense!”

You lowered your shotgun and glared at the messy haired boy standing in front of you. You were getting ready for bed when he oh so graciously decided to drop in unannounced again, prompting you to grab your emergency weapon. He didn’t notice the look on your face as his eyes were too busy roaming your uncovered legs.

“Jason,” you huff, pinching the bridge of your nose. “What do you want?” “Oh, Bruce wants us to do some undercover work together.”

It was then you noticed the manila folder he was holding. You took it from him and rapidly scanned through the information. Apparently the police department was holding an appreciation dinner, because that’s really what Gotham city needs right now, and you and Jason were to go and pose as a couple for extra protection.

“What dipshit decided having a bunch of cops in the same place was a good idea?” “Don’t know. But it’s tomorrow night so I’ll pick you up at six.”

That stupid smirk you’d grown fond of was plastered on Jason’s face and you shoved him towards your door with a loud proclamation of ‘Good night, Jason.’ He took the hint and left, shutting you door softly behind him. It had been a little over six months since you’d tried to fulfill the hit on Bruce, and though you could say your life was better, adapting to the high standards Bruce had was difficult. Even though beating and occasionally maiming was okay, he had a strict no killing policy that you constantly struggled with. Still your combat skills, which were already well developed when you’d first met, were steadily increasing and you were quite handy when it came to finding intelligence on the latest criminal schemes. You couldn’t exactly say you were “one of the good guys”, but having a consistent place to lay your head and stable income were two major pluses of your new life.

The following day, Jason was at your door at six sharp, dressed in what he liked to call a monkey suit. You did one last mirror check before opening your door, Jason’s mouth involuntarily falling open as you did. You were wearing in a knee length black dress that had a deep V neckline and lace cap sleeves. Your black suede pumps clacked against the floor as you walked past him, simply wanting to get this protection detail over with.

The ride to the banquet hall was quiet; your eyes scanning the city outside of the window and Jason’s eyes scanning you. When you reached your destination, you both went over your cover story before exiting the car. Bruce had eyes on the situation through cameras that had been stealthily placed in advance. Jason took your hand and led you into the building, already not liking the way all eyes fell on you as you entered. He led you to the bar so that you both could pretend to talk and determine if there were any threats present.

You had been at the bar for about an hour and a half, Jason leaving your side about thirty minutes in to mingle and blend with the crowd as best he could. There had been no suspicious activity during that time and you almost wished something would happen so you wouldn’t have to hear anymore ‘pat-me-on-the-back-I’m-so-great’ speeches.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Be careful what you wish for.

You turn to look at the man that has just taken the seat on your left. You recognize him as one of the pricks that droned about how much he was helping make the city a better place despite never having actually done anything. He smells like he just took a bath in Budlight and you have to stop yourself from recoiling.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting here all alone?”

Oh. He’s bold.

“I’m not alone, I’m with my boyfriend.”

Right on cue, Jason slides an arm around your waist and lightly kisses your cheek. You know you’re supposed to be pretending, but you can’t deny that you’re enjoying the faux affection.

“Everything okay, babe?” “Mhm. Just making light conversation.”

Budlight man looks like he’s trying to set Jason ablaze with his stare, but then he turns back to you, his hand itching closer to the one you have resting on the bar.

“Wouldn’t you rather be with a man than with a boy?”

Oh. He’s BOLD bold.

The arm that’s around your waist tightens reflexively, and when you face Jason you see a glint in his eye. He wants to break this guy’s neck almost as much as you want to, but you have a much better idea in mind.

You turn the bar stool so that your whole body is facing Jason, uncross your legs, and pull him to you so that you can kiss him hard. He responds immediately, hands coasting down your sides before gripping your hips and pushing your bodies closer together. He kisses you breathless, his tongue exploring your mouth and battling yours for dominance. He knows that you’re letting him kiss you like this, and that shift of power makes him groan against your lips. You pull away smiling and then return your attention to the man that had been hitting on you. He looks beyond pissed and a tad embarrassed and you revel in it.

“Does that answer your question?”

Budlight man stalks away, probably mumbling some derogatory comment about you since he couldn’t have what he wanted. You look back at Jason and when your eyes meet, you notice that his pupils are blown wide.

“You know that was purely for the sake of our cover, right?” “Mhm.” “Good.”

You adjust your dress since Jason’s grabby hands had caused it to wrinkle, before turning your attention to all the inebriated cops you’re now basically babysitting. Jason’s standing on your right side, a hand comfortably resting just above your left hip. He leans in close to you, close enough for you to feel his warm breath hitting your neck.

“You know that when we get home, I’m going to be the one that’s taking off your dress, right?”

You bite your lip at his declaration, ideas of how your night could play out already forming in your mind.

“We’ll see.”

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd imagine #Jason Todd x reader #Titans #Titans imagine #DC's Titans #Y ' A L L #Y A I L Y

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terpia · 4 years

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Under Pressure

Summary: Dani is struggling with law school assignments, and Fiona is determined to do her best to help her. Unfortunately, life has slightly different plans for her.

Rating: T

Words: 2424

Ao3: (link)

Notes: This was written for the @phandomficfests secret Santa exchange, as a gift to the wonderful @yikesola. A big thank you to @jestbee for beta reading it!

For as long as Fiona could recall, winter used to always be her favourite time of year. Between the break from school, Christmas and her birthday in January, the winter season just seemed to bring so much joy and excitement into her life when she was little. In many ways, that still hasn’t changed. Just thinking about the upcoming (and much needed) break from uni, the fast-approaching holidays and her January birthday “week,” as Dani called it, brought a smile to her lips. Unfortunately, growing up and progressing further in the education system sullied somewhat the purity of her winter enjoyment by introducing a new depressing factor: end of semester assessments.

Fiona stared grimly at her planner, where 3 major assignments and an exam were all crammed together in the first week and a half of December. Although purely number-wise this was less workload than she was used to while doing her undergrad degree, the increased requirements and larger word counts of a master’s programme meant that she found herself busier than ever. And this year, grades and meeting deadlines were not the only things she was worried about.

Fiona glanced across the room to where Dani was lying on the bed, surrounded by what seemed like ten thousand textbooks; some of them in small unstable stacks, others lying half-opened and abandoned, while others still were bulging with various objects that Dani has decided to use as bookmarks, ranging from pens and highlighters to empty wrappers and other textbooks. The books all had titles like “Legal Research and Writing” and “Introduction to International Law.”

Dani was staring pensively out the window, the open textbook in front of her completely ignored. Fiona noticed that the page Dani was on had some sort of diagram on it, completely unremarkable except for the fact that it was the exact same diagram that Dani was on an hour earlier.

Fiona gently closed her laptop and went to sit by Dani, who didn’t even turn her head as she sat down on the bed. Fiona just looked at her for a few moments. Even after almost a year of being together, Fiona still could not get over how pretty Dani was. As she took in Dani’s deep brown eyes, her curly shoulder-length hair and a hint of freckles on her cheeks, Fiona could feel a frown forming on her face. Dani’s curly hair, which was usually carefully straightened. Her freckles, which she typically took great care to cover with concealer. Her eyes, and the grey bags beneath them, indicating how little sleep she’s been getting recently. The sweatpants and hoodie she’s been wearing for the past week.

Dani started law school just this September, and it was already becoming pretty obvious that the study of law and Dani were not meant to be. She was struggling enough as it was with her regular classes; the upcoming assignments and exams were driving her up the wall. She was in turns ravaged by anxiety, pacing around restlessly in the middle of the night, or taken over by this strange silent apathy. Fiona didn’t know exactly how to help her, but she was determined to do her best, encouraging Dani and being there for her. She knew that the next few weeks would be hard, but she also knew that together, they could do this.

***

Fiona opened her eyes to a lovely and bright late November morning, and immediately knew that she could not do this. Her temples were throbbing, her eyes were swollen and way too sensitive to the light, and her throat felt as if it was lined with sandpaper. She had her suspicions yesterday evening, between the strange light-headedness and the inexplicable ache in her back muscles, but now it was certain: she was sick. Fiona groaned quietly. Now, of all fucking times. So close to the deadlines. But there was hardly anything she could do about it, feeling so dreadful she could barely force herself to get out of bed. After a brief internal struggle, she took some medication she found in her kitchen cupboard, texted Dani to cancel their studying session, and then immediately went back to bed.

Three hours later, she was woken up by the sound of someone knocking on the door. At first she had no intention of moving, but as the knocking persisted, Fiona at last found some strength to get up and go open the door.

Dani was on the other side. She still looked dishevelled and the grey bags under her eyes were still present, but there was also a strangely determined look in her eyes and a plastic bag in her hands.

Fiona blinked in surprise. “Oh, Dani! Come in.”

As Dani walked in, putting down the bag and getting off her coat, Fiona eyed her with confusion. “What are you doing here? Did you forget we cancelled our study session?”

Dani hung up her stuff. “Nope. You’re sick, right?”

Fiona thought that her swollen eyelids, paler than usual complexion and the pyjamas she was wearing in the middle of the day were rather obvious indicators of her current state, but she didn’t say any of this, biting back the unkind words that were pushing to the tip of her tongue. The cold was making her cranky. Instead, she just nodded her head.

Dani nodded back once in response. “Well then. That’s why I’m here. You’re my girlfriend, so I have to take care of you.”

And with that statement, she went to the kitchen. Fiona followed her in.

“I bought you some cough syrup, Lemsip and a nasal spray, as well as a tin of biscuits, because why not,” Dani said, taking stuff out of the bag and putting it on the counter

“You really don’t have to do this, Dani,” Fiona said as gently as possible. “It’s just a normal cold, really, and you have so much other stuff to do.” Dani’s first exam was in just three days.

“No, I have to be here. You’re more important than uni and I should be here for you when you’re feeling unwell.”

As sweet as that sentiment was, the way Dani avoided Fiona’s eyes when she said it seemed to suggest that there was more to it than she was letting on. Fiona wanted to argue the point further, but she was too tired to deal with anything right now. Giving in, she returned to bed with mumbled thanks, and fell asleep within five minutes. The last thing she heard were the sounds of Dani bustling in the kitchen.

***

When she woke up a few hours later, she was feeling a little better and her head was a little clearer. Dani was sitting across her on a beanbag, which Fiona had impulsively bought after spying it on sale. Dani was mindlessly scrolling through her phone, but as soon as she noticed that Fiona has woken up, she got up with a smile.

“Good evening, sleeping beauty. While you were asleep, I made us some dinner. It’s just pasta with tomato sauce, which I know is not the most conventional ‘get better’ kind of meal, but hey, you can only work with what you got.”

“It’s just as well I’m not with you for your incredible cooking skills,” Fiona croaked with a smile, her voice raspy with sleep and the cold.

“At least I didn’t light myself on fire the way you would’ve had, Ms Master Chef,” Dani said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, that was just one time! And it could have happened to anyone.”

“I seriously doubt that anyone but you turns on the stove using their feet.”

“It was an accident! I was just trying to grab a Sharpie lying ON the stove with my foot, and accidentally turned the ignition on.”

“As if that makes it any better?”

And bickering in this way, they went into the kitchen.

The food, as simple as it was, did actually make Fiona feel a lot better. And it was great to see Dani being so cheerful and energetic again, after what seemed like months of constant stress and moodiness. Nevertheless, even as they were joking around and laughing while discussing some ridiculous hypothetical situation (what if you were born with an extra pair of thumbs on your thumbs?), Fiona couldn’t help but to feel worry building up somewhere deep within her. Even though it was good to let off some steam like this, Dani’s sudden readiness to drop everything to take care of her made Fiona feel uneasy. Dani really should have been pouring all of her energy into studying right now.

She decided to delicately broach the subject.

“Besides making this culinary work of art, what else did you do while I was asleep?”

“Why, worried that all your priceless china has suddenly disappeared into thin air?” Dani teased.

“Nah, with you I’d be more worried about all of my Ribena mysteriously going missing.”

“Well, can’t make any promises on that front, mate. If you wanted your Ribena untouched, you should’ve hidden it better instead of just leaving it completely unprotected in the fridge. It’s basically your fault I drank it.”

“I’ll invest in a safe in the future,” Fiona joked lightly. “But seriously. What else did you do?”

Dani’s gaze dropped to the table. She fiddled with her glass, turning it round and round with one hand. “Oh, you know. I washed up the dishes. Cleaned up a bit. You really should stop leaving your dirty socks just lying around everywhere, it’s disgusting. I also read up a bit on how to best deal with the common cold. Apparently, green tea with honey is supposed to be really good.”

“Did you study at all for your exams?” Fiona said. She regretted asking that as soon as the words left her mouth. Dani’s body instantly tensed up.

“No, I didn’t. I don’t see why that should matter right now. It’s more important for me to see that you get better soon, right?” Dani’s voice was sharp, yet brittle. She still hasn’t looked up.

“I didn’t mean that as an attack,” Fiona said quickly. “And I appreciate you being here for me, I really do. It’s just that I’m worried, your exams start so soon, and I know that studying for them hasn’t been the easiest for you-”

“Well, I’m sorry for being so bad at it,” Dani said. Her shoulders hunched up even more. “I hope I haven’t offended you with my not trying hard enough and not meeting your fucking studying standards.”

“Dani, that is not what I meant,” Fiona said, beginning to panic. “I just-” Fiona’s voice cracked. She was being too loud, too shrill for her sick vocal cords. She went into a coughing fit which seemed to last for ages. When she finally looked up, tears streaming down her face, Dani was looking back at her, her face sombre and unhappy. She nodded her head towards the bedroom.

“You should be in bed right now. Go lie down and I’ll make you some tea.”

Fiona just nodded weakly and did as she was told. A few moments later, Dani walked in. She gently set down the steaming mug on Fiona’s bedside drawer and then slowly sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed.

After a moment, Fiona reached her hand towards Dani, who took it and gently squeezed it.

“I’m sorry,” they both blurted out suddenly. A second of startled silence and a quick exchange of glances. Fiona could feel her shoulders beginning to shake and soon they were both giggling like little girls, aware that nothing that funny really happened, but unable to stop.

As they both slowly calmed down, the change in the room was almost palpable. Even though the atmosphere was still awkward, some of the tension seemed to have left. Dani leaned back a little more and grasped Fiona’s hand a little more firmly.

“I’m the one at fault here,” Dani said. “You asked me a well-intentioned question, concerned for me even while not being well yourself, and instead of being thankful for having a girlfriend who gives a shit or two, I just got mad and yelled at you. And after all my talk about taking care of you, too.” Dani frowned. “I’m so sorry, Fi. I really don’t deserve you.”

“You’re talking nonsense,” Fiona said. “And I’m the one who should be apologising. I knew that this is a very stressful period for you, and even so, my first response to seeing you more relaxed than I have seen you in weeks was to start pressuring you to work more as soon as I got a chance. And that’s after you’ve come into this lair of disease and made me food. If anything, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.”

“Let’s just agree that we both could have handled things better,” Dani said, a small smile playing on her lips. Then she dropped her gaze down again. “And it wasn’t you pressuring me to study that set me off. If I can be completely honest...” Dani stopped and was silent for a while. Fiona said nothing, letting Dani express herself at her own speed and just gently squeezing her hand for encouragement. Finally, Dani said quietly, “I don’t think I want to study law any more.”

“You want to drop out?” Fiona asked, making sure to sound as supportive and non-judgmental as possible.

Dani just nodded her head once.

“You know that I’ll always stand by you and support you, whatever decision you’ll end up making.”

That made Dani turn round and look at Fiona. The smile on her lips, although still small and shy, managed to somehow lit up her entire face.

“Yes. I know.”

***

Later, after Dani has made Fiona more tea, gave her a back massage and helped her to take a shower (well, the type of “help” that Dani offered did not actually help Fiona at all with the cleaning process and, if anything, only ended up making her more sweaty, but it still managed to considerably brighten Fiona’s day), they were both lying in bed together rewatching Buffy for the n-tieth time. In spite of Fiona’s protests that she’d get sick too, Dani was cuddling up to her.

“You know,” Fiona said contemplatively after a while, “perhaps all along the real bug here has been the love bug we caught along the way.”

“God, you’re so lame,” Dani said, pressing her face to Fiona’s neck in an attempt to hide her smile.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #dan and phil #my fic #the ending is beyond cheesy #but people seemed to like it so i'm happy <3

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crystalelemental · 4 years

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Atelier Lulua Opinions

This feels a little early, since I haven’t really done the Machina Domain DLC, and that might change some stuff, but I’ve read a bit and it’s just a handful of lore tidbits about Mana and Ficus, so I’m calling it good. Overall it’s pretty fun! It’s nice to return to the Arland games after a while, and Lulua definitely delivers on both the nostalgia factor, and having some pretty unique stuff going on all its own.

CHARACTERS The cast wound up being surprisingly strong, all things considered. Lulua herself is a fun protagonist, being, perhaps expectedly, quite a goober but trying her best. Her best friend, Eva, is also hilarious at most points in the game, and actually has some incredible moments regarding her birth parents and her response to them reaching out after years of leaving her with an orphanage. Aurel is...okay, one of the weaker characters. He’s very serious warrior man, which is odd considering he’s related to Gio. You’d expect a bit more aloofness to have rubbed off, but no, he takes his role seriously. There’s Niko, who’s a doofus who’s a pirate but the nice kind because of course you are.

Then there’s Ficus. I expected to hate Ficus, and initially, very much did. But wow, what a turnaround. It took a bit for me to figure out what was going on with him, but you’ve actually met him before. You wouldn’t know it immediately, but...damn. Damn what a tie-in that didn’t need tying in, but sure as hell got wrapped up anyway. Seriously, it takes the story from the ending of Totori and completely turns it on its head. There are a lot of questions I have about the whole situation, but overall he’s got a strong history.

Then there’s the returning cast. Rorona and Sterk are as great as ever. Sterk is having another, different midlife crisis this time, because this poor man has had one every game he’s been in. Just let the man rest. There’s Totori and Meruru, who are both wonderful. Totori honestly feels a lot more sassy this game, and I absolutely love it. Meruru is just as boisterous as always, and has even taken over learning the sword, and taking the mask, from Gio. She’s Masked M. It’s exactly as great as it sounds. And your final recruitable member...is Piana. Yeah, I love this recent trend with Atelier games, where the alchemy teacher is not the protagonist from the last game in line. I expected Meruru to be the teacher, in that same successionary line, but instead it’s Piana, the girl Totori rescued from the Eastern Continent. Piana’s fun. She adopted a lot of teaching style from Totori, and is a bit of a mess as a person, but really talented with alchemy.

There are, of course, a ton of returning characters that are not playable as well. Mimi and Keina are the big ones, and...god I love both of them. Mimi’s just the right of “developing to be open with her feelings while still not being proficient with them” to make a wonderful character. Keina has apparently taken over a lot of governance from Rufus, and is just really well liked. Oh, and Cole’s here, grown up now, and the apprentice of Hagel. While I’m all for Hagel getting an apprentice, his absence in this game is felt tremendously. We also have some returning faces, in the form of Wild, Iksel’s protege.

Basically, it’s a solid cast, that...unfortunately misses a few marks for me. Largely because of who isn’t here. I get it, we can’t have every single character from all three Arland games show up. That’d be too much. But Mimi not being playable is ridiculous, and the fact that Cordelia of all people never shows up is just infuriating. Why can’t Lulua see her other mom? Work? Cordelia’s always been busy with work, but has always made time for her friends. Don’t give me that shit.

STORY Lulua’s probably the first real story we’ve gotten in the Arland games. Rorona was just saving her Atelier, Totori was just looking for her mom and tripped into the plot, Meruru was just developing her kingdom. Lulua actually hints at a lot, and develops things pretty substantially. At its core, Lulua retains the simplicity of the other Arland games, being primarily about Lulua’s journey to become a great alchemist like her mother. Beneath the surface, however, we have the mystery of Fellsgalaxen, and how it ties in with the other area we know of: Orthogalaxen. Turns out, both are related, and there was even a third that fell into disrepair and became the Modis Ruins. The galaxen arks were basically command centers, where ancient civilizations overlooked machinery they built in order to control the world around them. For instance, Night’s Domain? It was apparently an area where a machine was built to control night and day. When the command center broke down, the machine lost control, and now just perpetually converts the surrounding area to a deeper and deeper night. There’s also the Fire Domain, which control weather, but went haywire and now just spews fire. Rule of threes, there’s one more Domain area we actually know of. Machina Domain. Now, I didn’t get the DLC for it yet, I’m sure there will be more to talk about from it, but presumably that was something to allow for passage through space, given it’s constantly referred to as a “distortion in space.”

The story develops into Lulua meeting the operator of Fellsgalaxen, a girl named Stia, who is desperately trying to get to the core and fix the problems at hand. It’s not working, and you need to help her get there before Fellsgalaxen is destroyed, and takes your hometown out with it.

Despite how solid the story is, I feel like there are too many gaps. We don’t know a ton about the galaxen arks or the different domains or their purposes. We don’t know...well, much of anything. Maybe a lot of that is left to the DLC, but even if it is, I do take some issue with needing an additional purchase to make sense of some of your lore. Still, I absolutely love this, for possibly stupid reasons. Those reasons largely being around enjoying stories of man vs. nature where man lost, and the new trial being current man vs. past man’s mistakes echoing through eternity.

SETTING Okay, yes, I love the establishment of what the domains and the galaxens are. I love the added depth they gave to certain areas or bosses, to a degree it almost feels like this game was planned since Rorona (though I’m sure it wasn’t). It just feels like such a good development of the setting we’ve known and loved all these years.

I will say that I wish Lulua had more unique areas to work with, instead of being just a highlight reel of areas from previous games. The general scale also looks weird, and kinda packed together compared to previous games, but it doesn’t really detract from anything.

ALCHEMY SYSTEM Not gonna lie, the alchemy system is kind of over-complicated this time around. There’s 999 quality, again, as well as elemental values for each items. Different ingredients give different values, leading to different potential effects on the new items. But wait! Now there’s also Awakening effects! Depending on the item used, in certain slots, you can get additional effects! Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they suck.

The problem is, you’re trying to balance all of these things at once. the most quality you get out of gathered items is like 230, so 999 quality on items is one hell of a leap. You basically have to rely on synthesized items, but the items natural to a category don’t always work for the effects you’re after. So you have to Awaken other items to be part of that category, so you can have better effects, all while monitoring the absurd quality level and traits you’re passing on. Oh, and speaking of traits? All the best ones are locked behind specific traits being combined, and not in the way you think. See, to get the maximum of, say, Stat boosting traits, you don’t just mix together two of the low level ones, like Stat Boost and Stats Mega Charge. No, you have to combine Stats Mega Charge with a rare trait you only get from bosses or rewards from S-rank battle quests, like Awakening Agent, Deadly Art, or Resonant Agent, to combine with the highest tier you can make naturally, and upgrade into the next form. It can be a little bit frustrating, and frankly? I had to shift difficulty down to Easy just to get started. Without having a good spread, you can’t take the S-rank bosses easily, and then you can’t really get the effects. And you do need the effects. The final bosses are pretty tough without them.

TP (formerly Cost) for an item isn’t great. It caps naturally at 60, increasing by 5 for each 5 levels you grow in alchemy, but the TP increasing skills actually stack this time, so it’s not too hard to get what you need, as long as you’re passing the highest tier of this skill on to everything you make.

BATTLE SYSTEM Battle system can also be frustrating. Basically, there are two issues I take with this game: Stun, and Support Attacks.

Stun is obvious. Pretty sure I’ve complained of it before, and will do so until the end of time. Stun sucks. It’s either a problem where you’re getting stunned every two hits, or you’ve managed to perfectly stunlock an enemy who is no longer allowed to move. It takes twice as many hits to Stun an enemy once they recover, but you only really need it to land once. Stun is only gained from skill attacks, which means it’s really easy for the enemy to just spam those and stun you. God forbid they have something that both has high stun value and knockback. You may as well turn the game off if the enemy gets to act at all.

And that’s where Support Attacks are annoying. You can control them, but only in the sense that you can determine who to put on the back line to allow the follow-up. Not all follow-up attacks activate off of the same frontline skills, so it’s more about matching to your specific playstyle than anything. The problem is, you have no control over when they go off, or if they go off. They’re not all guaranteed. So, let’s say an enemy isn’t stunned, but needs two hits to be stunned, after your skill was used. Piana may follow up with her two support attacks. May. If she hits with one, the enemy gets their turn, and you might be fucked. If she gets both, great! But this also works in reverse. Let’s say you know full well that an enemy needs only one hit to be stunned. Tough shit, Piana is guaranteed to follow up with one of her skills, and that’s going to remove stun so the enemy gets to act anyway. Stun is just annoying. It’s hard to control for, and you don’t really get a chance to act on it most of the time. Without these two parts, I think the game could be fine with a bit of rebalancing. As it stands, bosses all felt either way overpowered because taking a hit meant being stun locked forever, or were a cakewalk because equipment was all at its optimal and nothing could stand against you. You could argue that’s just the Atelier Experience, but I have a hard time saying that this was all that much fun, considering I never once touched my items. I got through everything on stats alone, and that...doesn’t feel like the best thing.

OTHER MECHANICS Exploration items exist in this game, and it’s...kinda weird? You need specific bombs for mining now, and they come at different destruction levels, such that some bombs won’t even dent certain rocks, and it’s not clear which are which. Pickaxe has the same issue, mostly being unable to break things without its max destruction value, which is pretty low. A lot of exploration items feel redundant or kinda useless, like the Wind God’s Bag or Traveling Shoes (there’s no time limit, why do I need these?), but some are hyper-vital, like the key. It’s really just about picking the best options for you. So in my case, it was mostly mining bombs.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS I’m gonna echo what I said about Lydie and Suelle: one of the things I never took into account before was graphics. I think people who bitch about graphics needing to be top-tier are ridiculous. This game has all sorts of visual issues, but it does nothing to detract from the charm of the game. Rather, what they choose to use graphics for has a lot of impact. Instead of the relatively flat affect of some previous games, characters have gotten really dynamic in their expressions, poses, and general actions, and it’s frankly fantastic. It adds a layer of comedy to the games that really complements the series’ general tone.

Also, please, please watch the Lulua and Sterk armwrestling bit. I promise it will be the best thing you’ve watched all day.

FINAL THOUGHTS Atelier Lulua is a fantastic game that, I think, really succeeds at what it attempts to do. It’s a fun nostalgia trip through Arland, with a lot of great returning cast members, and new developments for characters and setting that are really fun to experience. If you’ve played the Arland games and are a fan, absolutely check Lulua out. If you haven’t...consider trying out Rorona. You really do need to have background knowledge of the Arland games to appreciate Lulua to the fullest. But once you have that knowledge, it’s definitely worth playing.

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If you enjoyed this (for some reason), consider checking out the write-ups for the other games in the series as well!

Atelier Rorona Plus Atelier Totori Plus Atelier Meruru Plus Atelier Ayesha Plus Atelier Escha and Logy Plus Atelier Shallie Plus Atelier Sophie Atelier Firis Atelier Lydie and Suelle

#atelier lulua #atelier opinions #atelier series

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cyanpeacock · 5 years

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considering My Functionality again?

i can’t, uh, explain how i actually work any other way than... well, i’m... there is... we’re (pronouns???!) a system, but a reasonably well hidden one, one that can function and broadly pass as One Person?

as in, i don’t require a diagnosis of DID to navigate the world, so i’m not talking about DID itself here. but yeah, it’s not infrequent that my body is walking somewhere having a whole conversation, that i’m not consciously creating every part of.

used to feel like the whole, Voices In My Head, Uncontrollable Speech And Actions thing made me, you know... Dangerous, Insane, the whole stereotypical shebang. and, yeah, ngl, i was more than unpleasant to be around for a while, before i done went and learned Emotional Regulation Skills, and stuff like that. appreciative that those are increasingly accessible to whatever the hell the rest of my brain is doing. still work to do, but that’s okay, there always is.

so now i’m like... damn, who is it hurting? this way of understanding the functioning of my brain has been very helpful to me, actually. it’s interesting, now i’m increasingly comfortable with the undeniable (in terms of Human Averages) weirdness of it.

there are just, entities in here that i don’t consciously control? some are even friends! they just... Speak And Act Through This Body. i didn’t consciously make them. they just sort of, show up, and grow and change with time, go dormant, wake up again, sometimes respond to being prodded.

the characters i consciously make? turn out weird, and flat. they’re just Designs, pretty pictures, shells really. the people that just Show Up? i’m like, oh, man, if i think hard enough i see sort of how you got unconsciously made, but... i didn’t choose to do that. it just fucking, Happened. ok. alright.

it’s... perhaps frightening, to some people, who happen to see my body apparently Crazy(tm) in the street, or gesticulating wildly to thin air through my apartment window? but then, that’s societal prejudice against obvious neurodivergence and/or mental illness talking, and i know i’m not going to physically harm them, my body is just... Doing That Thing Again. they might be frightened, but they’re gonna walk past physically unharmed, and emotionally uninjured except for a bit of a scare, which, many things can scare you.

i don’t mean to frighten anyone! but i’m aware it’s gonna happen regardless, even if the only cause was my appearance and not my Odd Behaviour - e.g., some people are going to experience fear of my body alone, even Acting Normally(tm), because i’m a white man in a tracksuit, who is inevitably going to cross paths with women and folks of colour when i take walks at night.

i don’t know, part of me wonders, should i even be using the word system if i’m not, like, Professionally Diagnosed With DID? i’m aware lots of systems hide, i’m aware of iatrogenic systems with no evident history of trauma, i’m aware that some people contest the existence of DID at all and place it as a phenomenon created by psychiatry, i’m aware that some people with DID contest the existence of iatrogenic systems... it’s all very complicated.

if you ask this (iteration of?) me, self-determination is just as important as any external determination. people only self-determine, self-identify, self-label, self-categorize, because it helps them in some way. maybe not always a “healthy” kind of helping! but there are many stages of unhealth on the way to health, and health is extremely variable in presentation, so, who am i to speak against anyone’s identity and feelings of health, including my own?

oh, boy, yeah, it’s confusing.

my hypothesis (a bad one, because it’s untestable) is that this brain/body was already predisposed to strong emotions, “vivid imagination,” and a propensity for gathering information and making connections. it then went through a duration of traumatic experiences, and had to Really Use those functions in order to make sense of the experiences in order to survive (and ideally, Live). these factors in combination result in a brain that unconsciously went about creating compartments and structures that would eventually help the entire bodily unit understand some things about itself and Other People(tm)?

for the purposes of this post, one of those things being, of course there can be multiple, long-standing, truly discrete Selves within one body. and, of course there can be One Self in a body. and of course, there are many states in between.

uh, back to the concept of an engine, that’s useful for this thought exercise again, very imperfect, but useful to me.

so, lots of people are going to understand an engine as An Engine. it’s one functional unit. they don’t even know the names of the parts inside it, it’s just, An Engine.

me? baffled by engines. there are so many parts, and i’m always like, well, how does that bit work? isn’t that a separate machine? aren’t these loads of separate machines, with separate functions, that exist and perform independently, but also together? not exactly missing the point of the engine, but tending to look on a smaller scale...? so, yes, like, i understand, you put them together and it’s An Engine, it drives the car. but... that’s (also) a system. every engine can be regarded as a system.

so, by my logic, what really matters is... well, whose engine is it, and how/on what level do they best understand it, how can you get it to drive the car as smoothly as possible? meaning, every brain is an engine (one Unit), or a system (many Parts). it depends how hard you look at it, and what helps you or the other person understand how best to make it function in harmony with the body it’s sat in.

i mean... well. shy and tentative as ever, but i can talk about some of the other people in here. but it’s my blog. it has to stay that way. but i’m coming to realize i kind of need these guys for Happy Independent Functioning, even if i can’t talk about them everywhere.

mark has been around for YEARS. it has not always been a good relationship. he is a troublesome bastard. he says shit that absolutely embarrasses the hell out of me. he is RUDE. freaky bastard. he’s kind of a capitalist. Fake Posh (he is insecure about his scumminess). i hate him but i live with him and he’s not awful, even he thinks jeff bezos is a hoarding twat. and yeah, he doesn’t yell abuse at me any more, and i don’t yell back, because i Did That and Went Out There and Got Emotional Skills Up In The Brain. he was slower to pick them up than me, but it’s pretty good now.

amy has also been around for years! less years than mark, but yeah, years now. amy is very bright, she doesn’t really give a shit about School the way i do, she just likes fun things like sunshine and flower crowns and (the idea of) being a Party Girl. she’s never even been a douche to me like That Other Bastard, Mark Fuckdick Mcgee. i hate him, lovingly, hatefully, etc etc. oh bastard fuck, fine, i’m in love with him now, gayly, and it’s embarrassing. disgusting man.

BUT YEAH back to amy. i’m aware i’ve found that in practice, parties like That are bodily sensory overload. so, yes, the nightclub Exists In The Mind. but yh... when amy showed up, she was Miles better than me at like, emotional support, comforting stuff? took me to an ATM i was like, beyond terrified of going to, lmao. i... suppose she trusted and integrated some experiences of positive, healthy interaction that i was still Super Suspicious of at that point?

like... yeah. in practice, shit, i run this operation, i’m realizing i’m kind of a control freak about understanding my brain/body, communicating things about it (and in general) effectively, and Getting It To Work BETTER (i.e. happier, more independently). it requires lots of thinking and lots of feeling and lots of practice, particularly in the art of When To Just Let Shit Go, which... well. these two help me with that, when i’m not able to help myself, usually because i got myself stuck in a thought loop.

there are others! dormant, or predominantly living in the world(s) within. also... well, it’s like, Younger Mes, that still exist, that can be triggered out in dire circumstances, but it’s best to let them rest.

yes. well. i think very hard. maybe too hard, in some opinions, but exactly as hard as i need to think to reach a place of improved understanding and contentment.

neurodivergence Wack.

#fliptext

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