#also on my ao3 there are technically two other fics between numbers 8 and 9 on this list

[supercantaloupe]

tagged by @malcolm-f-tucker, ty! my fic writing output comes from a varied and bizarre set of source materials...we both will just have to deal with that i guess

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway!

le finestre son questa - don giovanni - 1.3k - mar 2 23

Your lady had a difficult evening: you’re not sure what happened, exactly, but you helped her dress for a masquerade before she left, and she returned hours later looking more frustrated and tired than she had when she’d left.

2. (currently still untitled. sorry) - don giovanni - 3.7k - feb 28 23

He wakes to the sound of steady beeping and the vague humming of electronics and machinery. Then, bright fluorescent lights, which he squints against the moment he tries to crack his eyes open. Then, the pain.

3. e buonnotte a tutti - don giovanni - 13k - feb 11 23

“Saint Anthony’s? Really?”

“Yes, really. Punch it into the GPS already.” Giovanni sinks a little lower into the passenger seat and fumbles with his dress shirt buttons.

4. 25th annual solesian national spelling bee - fantasy high - 26k - last updated dec 25 22

“Adaine, I swear to the gods, open this door at once.” The elder Abernant sister pounds her fist on the locked door to the library.

5. deh vieni a consolar il pianto mio - don giovanni - 3k - oct 24 22

The dining room is a mess, with bits of food and shattered porcelain strewn about the floor, and the faint haze of smoke hanging in the air.

6. skeleton in the closet - oklahoma! - 9.4k - may 22 22

“Beth, stay on the path. And stop swingin’ the dinner pail like that.” Clara scolds her little sister, who, from a few paces ahead, turns to give her a scowl.

7. starlight - oklahoma! - 34k - last updated may 13 22

Crickets chirp in the cool night outside. Laurey sits on her bed, trying to enjoy a quiet night in for herself.

8. dance you all over the meadow - oklahoma! - 945 - may 7 22

“Slow down, you’ll trip.” Laurey’s grip on Curly’s arm tightens, and she feels his on her shoulder tense. “What are you in such a hurry fer?”

9. l'astuto cacciator - giulio cesare - 2k - feb 27 22

“Enough financials for now,” Cleopatra orders, waving a hand to her attendants. Papyrus records of tax and grain are swept clean from the table and swiftly replaced with platters of fresh dates, olives, and figs for the queen and her advisors. “Tell me of the Romans.”

10. awake in a lonely room - oklahoma! - 1k - oct 10 21

Old Eighty is hitched to the fence in the front yard. Her eyes are sleepy and bored. 

tagging: @tragedyposting @kingfisherkink @grasslandgirl @pearlandbrine @druid-for-hire @leporellian and @theresa-of-liechtenstein...regrettably i'm not sure who else among my mutuals writes fic at all so i may have to leave it there short of 10 ;;

#sasha speaks #tagged for me #tag game #malcolm-f-tucker #ty #looking at it all laid out like this. EMBARRASSING! #gd it is so funny though seeing that one (1) fh fic make the list i forgot i updated that. with the first chapter in like two years. in dec #remember when i used to write mostly for d20. remember when people read my fics. lmao #also on my ao3 there are technically two other fics between numbers 8 and 9 on this list #but i posted them like two years after i actually wrote them so i went with the order closer to when i wrote them for this #my single giulio cesare fic on here is killing me sorry. what's cringer the 4 don g fics the 4 ok! fics or the One (1) baroque opera fic #which itself makes up exactly half of the fandom tag. #i honestly can't tell. #honestly the fact that i wrote for d20 at all is the outlier here going by fandom size. the only period of my fanfic ''''career'''' #when i actually had consistent readership LMAO #anyway. #next on the list is another fucking don g fic. and a figaro operas fic. both are stewing in my brain atm #also one very vague idea for a cabin pressure fic but. i wouldn't count on that one anytime soon. unless someone really goads me on #let the poet bless this round

[jamesunderwater]

20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

Thanks for tagging me!! @gracelesslady23 @annabtg @kay-elle-cee this was very sweet to get to do.

Ao3 Username: itsjamespotter

1. How many works do you have on A03?

31, wow! How wild, that feels like a lot.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

162k!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

HP

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Show and Tell (3k, wolfstar smut)

Dead To Me (91k, wip lily evans angst)

Tall Dark and Glasses (3k, jily fluff)

"you have no idea how long i've been wanting to do that" (1k, prongsfoot smut)

Bring Your Kid to Work Day(s never end when your godfather is Sirius Black) (2k, good godfather sirius black fluff)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to, or at least have the goal to, but admittedly I'm very bad at it. (not to use it as an excuse but my adhd is fully to blame.) I plan to go back and catch up on all of them soon & have a dream of being much better about it, though. I do intentionally make sure I eventually respond to the ones for my WIPs, at least.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

well, since dead to me hasn't ended yet (kidding kidding kidding kidding!!!) lmao I really thought I was gonna have a hard time finding a fic with an unhappy ending but I evidently forgot who I am. I dunno how to choose between: 1. i don't even know where you end and i begin (500 words, canon prongsfoot....you get it) 2. Promises to Keep (1k words, dorlene with canon ending....you get it)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Okay listen, do I technically have a fic that mentions living happily ever after in the last line? Yes. Am I choosing that fic? No. I'm choosing Happy Holidays, You Filthy Potters, because 1. smut, 2. sassy young Harry, and best of all, 3. sassy good godfather sirius black 😉

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple of comments about Lily in Dead To Me but I've decided it's not my problem if people don't have critical analysis skills 💀

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I write smut for a number of different ships and plan on doing others! Uhhh, what kind? the fact that I don't really know what that means probably means it's pretty vanilla 😆 there's a lot of going down on people 🤐

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haha, no, but if I did I'd probably do PJO/HP

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. that would be so heartbreaking.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that's SO cool that people offer to do that for some fics!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have!! @charmsandtealeaves and I co-wrote a fic for a jilychallenge last year, before we were even friends! It was my first time co-writing a fic, which was very cool and different, but also didn't feel that foreign to me -- I think because I've spent a lot more years doing para RP than I have writing fics. It was fun to kind of riff off another writer in a different way. I would definitely do it again!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Okay, this is kind of tough because I only recently got into Prongsfoot, and they are the definition of soulmates... But because I ultimately see Sirius as more of an ace/aro character, Jily wins the place of favorite ship in my heart. <3

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well, I really only have two WIPs posted on AO3: Dead To Me and Just This Once, and I have all of DTM outlined and plan to finish it by fall. Just This Once might be a while, but I also have a plan for it and would like to finish it at some point... But I guess there's a chance I won't finish it -- I do have a lot of other multi-chaps I am going to be starting soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hm. I like to think I'm good at getting into the minds of my characters, really thinking through their motivations and emotions and then expressing those to the reader. I also think I'm fairly good at dialogue. I really like writing banter so I hope others think I'm good at it, haha. And based on what I've been told, my smut isn't half bad 😆

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh, definitely writing descriptions of any kind. I never remember to describe the scene and when I do, I think it feels clunky. I'm not great at writing in a more direct way, either; I struggle to express a character's emotions without getting a bit flowery with it. Just generally, I think my writing could be tighter, you know? I'm sure I'll realize other things I need to work on as I write more long fics, too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Ah, haven't done it yet, so don't have any thoughts to share.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP -- Jily on the Neopets forums... never 4get <3

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

If we're talking finished works, I'd have to say Tall Dark and Glasses, which I wrote for the masquerade event for Jilytober last year. To me, that fic has a certain je ne sais quois that is hard to replicate. But unfinished? Dead To Me, hands down, and once it's finished it will be very hard to ever top it. It's imperfect and there are a lot of edits I'd make if I were to go back through and polish it up, but it's the first multi chap fic I've ever written, and beyond just feeling immensely proud of that, the story itself and how I'm writing it is one of the most heartfelt and meaningful things I'll ever write in my life.

these were such a pleasure to respond to, thanks again for the tags! <3 I'm tagging: @goldenbi @abihastastybeans & @nodirectionhome-ao3

#hp #me #my writing #jily #wolfstar #prongsfoot

[ach-sss-no]

I've been tagged by @pazithigallifreya ! There's no one I can think of offhand to tag so just do it if you want to

1 How many works do you have on AO3? Aaahhh, well, the official number appears to be 5. I have some scattered orphans out there somewhere.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 262,523. Officially. If you were to track down everything I've orphaned it might go up a bit.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Good sir, I only have written five fanfictions, so I'll just stick to the top one

Schrodinger's Hobbit

Ah yes, the one that was posted on a regular schedule and has characters people care about in the tags, giving readers a ghost of a chance to discover it and give it a 'well it's about gollum but I'm desperate for pippin' click

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

In theory, yes. In practice, if I don't reply to a comment as soon as I see it, I sometimes forget to go back and reply because I've tricked myself into thinking I already have. Because I usually reply right away, you see.

Fortunately I do eventually see the comment as unreplied to in my inbox and circle back to it.

However, sometimes if there's no question posed and a simple 'thank you' doesn't seem to apply I honestly can't think of an answer and will just appreciate the person in silence.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uh, well, there's... oh, there's this one that's orphaned somewhere on AO3! it ends with Gollum learning how to eat people

I think I also wrote something once where it ended on a guy going 'oh no I am going to go insane just like my mother' but I don't know if it still exists anywhere.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Maybe Schrodinger's Hobbit? It ends with Aragorn saying 'Gollum isn't going to jail and we're just going to keep him' which is a happy ending from one point of view (Gollum's)

I usually just stop writing stories at the point where they stop being interesting.

7. Do you write crossovers?

The answer is no except for the time I did a crossover webcomic between two games no one cares about.

The first really ambitious fanfiction project I did was some kind of three way crossover with tons of canon/oc shipping and it was so bad.

Also there's a thing on my account that's technically a crossover but it's between Disney properties, which are already just one big lump.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

There's a TVTropes page out there with people railing about how bad my ambitious fanfiction project with tons of canon/oc shipping was. I am not going to find it for you.

In terms of comments, no, except for the one time I wrote a shipfic in a particularly eccentric fandom. People got bad about that. Oddly enough the people who liked the ship were the ones that got mad. Failed step one.

I've never gotten hate on AO3. (Not yet! 👀) Only the wild west of fanfiction.net and TVtropes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. I don't monitor for that, though.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had some people get permission from me to do translations, but they never told me if they posted anything.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ahhhh I used to years and years ago. I think one co-written thing is still floating about somewhere on ff.net.

I wouldn't be opposed to trying it again one day if I met someone with a compatible writing style and the circumstances were right, but it's not something I'm seeking out.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I guess I'm not really that into shipping. Sometimes a ship will catch my interest enough to produce content but there are none I currently find interesting enough to claim as a favorite.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

If I haven't finished it by now, I don't want to ;)

15. What are your writing strengths?

I don't feel well-equipped to judge my own work, so I will go off of what other people have said about me, which is always a great method for determining your self-concept.

A bunch of different people have said independently of each other that I'm good at characterization and dialog, so it's probably at least partially true.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh I don't know how to write a plot.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are so many different ways that could be done that this question feels too general to answer.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Lilo & Stitch. Almost 20 years ago now! The Internet has changed a LOT since then.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I'd like to try writing original fiction- wait, come back! Come back!

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, now, that's hardly fair. You expect me to READ these things?

#long post #ramble

[black-cat-aoife]

Tagged by @kathastrophen

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

somehow I need to write words before typing the number 55 because otherwise this very functioning website fucks up the formatting

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

77,339

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sad Cops The last ones were for Blind Ermittelt, Detective Anna, Endeavour and Polizeiruf Frankfurt.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Which Everybody Regrets Their Life Choices (Daredevil)

The Tale of the Beautiful Professor (Guardian)

Tee Mit Folgen (Tatort Berlin)

Adam, Vincent und die Eule (Polizeiruf Frankfurt)

A Sickbed Visitor (Society of Gentlemen)

OK, technically there's another Daredevil Fic on 2, but it's a collection of shorter fills for a prompt meme so does that count?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. I try to respond to all but occasionally fall in the "Oh yeah I will do that later" trap where I...y'know...don't do it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I had a whole paragraph here, about how I don't usually write Angst and wanted to name a few sort-of-angsty ones, and then I remembered, that I did in fact write Never To Be Told which is very angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot, but Look Not Into My Eyes has a veeeery sappy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Well, if you equate "crazy" with "nobody but me wrote it" then it's my Ein Fall For Zwei/Tatort Saarbrücken Crossover. But honestly: a crossover between two crime shows that feature abusive dads whose heads make sudden contact with blunt instruments and the resulting fallout from that is not particularly crazy. I also have this idea for a Blind Ermittelt/Allmen one, but as it's so often the case that's all vibes, no plot so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I once wanted to, and we even discussed some plot ideas, but then I got ghosted

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Yeah, Niko/Alex caught me like few others, but I also always will have a soft spot for Till/Felix

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Currently, I'm having a really hard time with my Alex & Sophie pre-canon fic, because it requires writing Alex shortly after the attack, and I am not sure if I can do that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm quite good at character-voices, both in dialogue and when internal-monologuing

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting from one scene to the next. Also in dialogues the right amount of surrounding description. I tend to start off with a screenplay, and then turn it into character says one sentence, followed by three paragraphs of description.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I hate it. Either your POV character understands what is said, and then you can tell the audience what is being said, or they don't, and then you just write "they were talking in XY." Don't make me use Google Translate to understand your fic. And don't make me read phrases like heiße schokolade mit gepeitschter creme, because your foreign language knowledge also comes from Google Translate. (That is an example from an actually published book, but my feelings on that transcend the fanfic/pubfic barrier, and I also read enough bullshit in fanfic).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. As in write-write. I don't think I ever wrote down any of the Sailor Moon self insert I made up.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm I wrote A Sickbed Visitor with me as the target audience in mind, and considering that, I am quite happy that it also ended up being reasonably popular. Because this is the fanfiction for a romance series that doesn't feature one of the main couples but the friendship between two halves of different couples. (Yeah. Having fun writing something is nice. Validation is also nice)

And Es Wird Wieder ein Sommer is well...it's not the same, because it is an Alex/Niko fic, and I always meant it to be one, but it's also about Laura and her relationship with those two and that was lots of fun to think about and write.

No pressure tag for @cricrithings and @tatzelwyrm

#about aoife #on writing

[ipreferfiction]

20 questions for fic writers

@spyscrapper tagged me (shocking for everyone, i'm sure). thanks beloved

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

337,006 (a chunk of which is cowritten)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

posted, i have star wars (totj, kotor, swtor, prequels, and tcw), lockwood & co., and asoiaf. i've also written hotd-era asoiaf fics, a couple of unfinished mdzs fics, and something for grimm floating around.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Bond Between: fic i wrote for a tcw zine, Ahsoka & Obi-Wan. 137 kudos.

(note: technically the second fic is one that got hit by the kudos bot, so i am taking it out of the ranking because i cannot trust its numbers)

How Far We've Come: Lockwood & Co., written and set right after TCS. Kipps and the crew. 62 kudos.

Wasteland: prequels/tcw/original trilogy, Obi-Wan on Tatooine having a truly questionable time. 60 kudos.

Dragon's Rise: asoiaf, post-series. Dany, Jon, Tyrion, and Arya go to Old Valyria so Dany can break the Doom and rebuild the Valyrian Freehold. i hate several things i did with characters here, truly, and i am never going to finish it; i'm keeping it up so i can see comments and kudos, because it got a lot of engagement (posted right after the show ended), but i would change so many things now. 54 kudos.

tremble for yourself, my man (you know that you have seen this all before): kotor - Cassus Fett dies on Malachor and wakes up six years in the past, with the knowledge that something is manipulating the war. he kidnaps Revan and Alek right off Dantooine at one point to help him. extremely full of torture! also the cousin of found family, sibling acquisition via kidnapping. 50 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to, but i haven't been great at it for a while. so occasionally it takes me a few months, lol

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

posted? probably my mando wars novelization. none of the really angsty stuff is finished, and i also tend to shy away from bitter endings because they make me depressed. and i do mean depressed, i have depression and i tend to get a little too into my characters' heads, which is not great when they're having bad times.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uh. um. the... ahsoka and obi-wan one maybe??

8. Do you get hate on fic?

the only ones that actually hurt me were on a years-old asoiaf fic. i've gotten two or three in recent years when i've been writing star wars stuff, but they're so out of pocket they're absolutely hilarious to me. i make fun of them with my friends. shoutout to the person who told me not to use bitch because it was a slur against women when the context was literally a man calling his long hair a bitch to deal with. i am NEVER getting over that, it's so funny.

9. Do you write smut?

periodically, yeah. it's fun, i just am also horribly embarrassed trying to write it lol. i have very little posted, but i've got a handful of half-finished ones in docs.

10. Do you write crossovers?

nnnnnnot really? i toss them around for some of my OCs and original works (between each other), but i don't really write them or post them. now, fusions? yeah, i write those. the hp au is the only one i've posted, and also is my favorite. read the main fic before you read the oneshot, though, because besides being utterly awful (affectionate) it also makes no sense without context. not that the series has given basically any of that context yet, but, yk. it's coming. eventually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i know. there's less theft in really niche communities like the stuff i tend to write.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes!! @spyscrapper (i keep typing revanchxst as your url beloved when will you change it back) is my coauthor for the hp au and for our big swtor novelization, plus a couple of totj fics.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

frankly, a couple of my ocs who live rent-free in my head at all times, from one of my original works. 1920s monster hunters, secret government organization, repressed queer people (person. the others are not at all repressed he's just a dumbass about emotions), constant threats of violence, morally grey pov characters, murder. i am literally insane about them. also a different set of ocs from fic that developed their own original work as well: magic university, depressed gay people, Plots, the usual. i am constantly chewing on them. in fandom, knight/scourge and cassus/ultimate, probably.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

most of my asoiaf stuff, tbh

16. What are your writing strengths?

prose. give me a good several paragraphs and i will give you gorgeous prose. flowing, poetic, great imagery, the works. i am not afraid to say that's what i'm good at

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

FUCKING dialogue. i hate dialogue so much. no more talking society has progressed past the need for talking. i can do a sentence or two, but full conversations? evil.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'll throw in a word or two without translating, because single words are easy to remember and write a glossary for at the end of the chapter. full sentences, though? They're either in italics (if the fic is generally speaking one language and this is another), or unmarked except by dialogue tags (much rarer, generally only do it if the pov character would mostly be speaking another language and so marking it as unusual doesn't make sense. e.g., Cassus talking to other Mandalorians isn't gonna be italicized because it being in Mando'a is expected.)

19. First fandom that you wrote for?

sherlock, i think? i wrote an OC fic that has now evolved into its own original universe because i ended up hating sherlock after season 4, and also the fandom was so fucking annoying. i was writing doctor who and supernatural OC fics around the same time, but i'm pretty sure sherlock was first.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

tremble for yourself, my man (linked above) or start a war, for posted fics. for unposted stuff, a cassus wip i will eventually. eventually finish

tags: @zaolat, @hermitmoss, yeah that's all i've got lee got all the other people i know lol

#things i have been tagged in

[daryfromthefuture]

fic writer ask game!

tagged twice by both @knickynoo and @mythical-bookworm :D

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

60. what a nice round number lmao

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

396,318

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i'm a back to the future writer through and through!

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Until I Get Home

November

But It's Alright

The Me You Knew

Winter of '84

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i usually do, simply because i love interaction between fics. besides, whenever someone takes their time to say that they liked my fic, to me, it's simply polite to respond and at the very least say "thank you".

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's a short oneshot titled "Yesterday", which is an alternative (angstier) take on the outcome of the duel in bttf part 3.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

honestly? "Until I Get Home". it was angsty overall, but the ending is super satisfying and happy, you can take my word for it.

8. do you get hate on fics?

not that i know of, no.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

absolutely not.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest you've ever written?

i'm not into crossovers, really. the only crossover i have on my ao3 is "The Weight Of Us", a fic taking elements from this year's "Oppenheimer" movie.

11. have you ever had your fic stolen?

the first chapter of my fic "14 Scraps Of Paper" was copy-pasted onto a wattpad book like one and a half years ago, but nothing has happened since.

12. have you ever had your fic translated?

technically, quite a few of my fics exist in two languages, because i personally write them in german and translate them. but no one has ever translated a fic into another language.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have, yep! quite a few of my ao3 fics are roleplays, meaning that two people (or sometimes more) have been invloved in writing it. "The Me You Knew" is also a collab work.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

i am not a shipper lol. marty/jen is always great, but i'm not into ships in general.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i have no idea right now honestly

16. what are your writing strengths?

maybe dialogue? i think i'm also pretty decent at suspense

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i tend to use the same words/phrases over and over again, specifically in english, because my vocabulary is still limited. i also hate describing things or settings.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i want and will do this in the future! it's specifically planned for my "Trinity"-threequel, but might happen befoore!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i never published it, but i recently found a Super Mario fanfic from when i was like 9. it actually had a decent plot, i was surprised with myself lmao

20. favorite fic you've ever written?

this is HARD. but really, i adore "Most People Were Silent" in a way that i don't adore any of my other fics, because i allowed myself to play with original ideas and characters. the result was a super niche bttf fic, but i love it so much.

thanks for the tag! imma tag @bg-sparrow, @synthsays and whoever else wants to participate!

#tag game #fic writer asks #ask game #fanfic ask #bttf fic

[orangepanic]

Thanks for the tag @nyamadermont! A belated sort of year in review whose questions I thought were interesting.

1. Number of stories posted to Ao3: 46 added or updated in 2022

2. Word count in 2022: 508,999

3. Fandoms I wrote for: Avatar: The Legend of Korra and Avatar: The Last Airbender

4. Pairings: Iroh II/Asami Sato (25) and a smattering of other pairings in dribs and drabs like Mako/Korra (3) and Jet/Ty Lee (2)

5. Stories with the most:

Kudos: Severance, the Irosami ghost story

Bookmarks: Smoke, the Equalist Asami Irosami story

Comment threads:  Also Smoke, followed by Severance

Word count: Same as above. So clearly it was a year of two long fics. I’m thrilled people gave them a chance.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I think it might be The Return, a Korra/Asami/Iroh II story. The premise is that Iroh and Asami marry and start a family sometime before book four, but he’s killed when he ignores Raiko’s order to surrender to Kuvira. Asami eventually gets together with Korra to raise the kids, only to have Iroh return from a secret POW camp years later. I’m proud of the story because I hardly ever write poly and had to really think through what that dynamic would be like between the three of them, the kids who didn’t know Iroh, and how they’d all react as the family changed. It wound up being much more about Korra and Iroh’s relationship than I expected. I got some very nice comments from people who don’t typically like Iroh/Asami as a ship, too.

7.   Work I’m least proud of (and why): All the ones I haven’t finished yet!

8.   Share or describe a favorite review you received: I love and treasure every single comment I get, but I’d like to leave a special shout out for @myargalargan and @devildogdemon for leaving long comments on every chapter of some of my multi chapter fics. It’s so amazing that they spend time and effort on that and I’m glowing.

9.   A time when writing was really, really hard: Isn’t it always? But the end of Smoke is killing me. This fic is going on three years and I know what needs to happen and it’s really hard not to mess it up. 

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Hiroshi and Yasuko Sato in How I Always Loved You are an absolute fucking delight and also such a surprise. Hiroshi Sato in canon is a kind of one-dimensional asshole who serves the purpose of being a villain (heck, I’ve written him like this myself) and Yasuko is just a photograph we see once who is usually assumed to be a carbon copy of her daughter, Asami. Getting such strong personalities for both of them has been so much fun, especially when it turned out both they and their ship dynamic was so different from Irosami. 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: I wrote a sequel to an Irosami vampire AU I’d written the year before. There are lots of parts of it that I like, but really liked seeing Iroh balance the human and more animalistic vampire urges. I did a ton of research for this fic because I decided vampires are like leopards with territories and stuff.

“I found it,” Iroh said lamely. He let the ball drop to the ground in quiet submission. He didn’t want Asami to take it away. His scent might be everywhere, but this was technically still her territory. Everything in it belonged to her. That was another thing Iroh had noticed. Concepts that before he’d only attributed to animals, like ��prey” and “territory,” now seemed perfectly natural. 

He saw Asami stiffen slightly at the tone of his voice. She looked suddenly wary. 

“You can have it,” she said slowly. “I haven’t seen that ball since I was a kid. It’s probably been out here twenty years.” A slight pause. “Do you play?”

Iroh let his body relax; a signal to her that he wasn’t a threat. “Not since the Academy,” he said. “And that was mostly a bunch of us blowing off steam. Not a lot of kemari on ships. It’s too easy to lose it overboard.”

He saw Asami mimic his posture as she studied him from across the flat grassy area where he’d been playing. A de-escalation of sorts. Good. Not that Iroh had intended to challenge her. In truth, he wasn’t sure what he’d intended. It was only a ball. He was a guest here. Republic City was Asami’s to hunt… wasn’t it? And never mind that he was larger and fit and, an embarrassingly sexist thought, male. None of that mattered. Or it shouldn’t. Spirits, what was wrong with him?

“Do you?” he asked. The words seemed to have more weight than they ought. 

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: This (Avatar) fandom can be really hard on people in a lot of ways, and one of those ways is with a certain ideological purity that seems to pervade a lot of it and which is meant to dictate who can write what, and what can be written. This year I wrote a character with a physical disability (Tis the Sea Sun for Love) and I did a lot of research for what was a rather lighthearted holiday fic. I think a year ago I’d have been too scared someone would come screaming at me that I wasn’t allowed. 

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I find ending multi-chapter fics difficult. I feel like a lot of them go on too long and kind of fizzle out. So I’d like to work on my endings.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): my discord server is a pretty awesome group of internet humans, I must say. Love u absolute cracky gorgeous degenerates.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I’m sadly susceptible to dares. The Only Thing I Ever wanted was bet you can’t write a soulmark AU, The Spares was bet you can’t make Korroh work, Big Fish was bet you won’t really write mermaid smut, Do You Have a Better Idea was bet you can’t make Iroh/Asami/Kuvira smut, etc. I’m very much like this in real life, too. 

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Your characters are people! Do what you can to get to know them as individuals and their unique dynamics in relationships. Think about their quirky likes and dislikes and weave those in. Know what they’re afraid of and what they want more than anything but tell no one. Imagine what they’d pick out at a store, or how they’d behave at a party, or what they’d be like in a group at a board game. You may never use the content, but it will help you find their voice and distinguish them from everyone else. There should (in my opinion) be very few plots that work the same for multiple ships. 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have a couple of big fics that I really want to start, but I have to finish some big fics first. If I can do that, the two I’m most interested in are one about the Equalist trials and another about 20-30 years post canon as the question of whether Raava can still reincarnate comes into question.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

And anyone else who wants to!

#fic wrap #tag game

[watsonmj]

2022 YEAR IN REVIEW

tagged: @abc2411 | @seek--rest | @bluepinstripes <3

1. number of stories posted to ao3

27 +/- 2 bc i updated 2 fics that i started last year buuuuuut i reached over 100 works on ao3 !!!! :D

2. word count posted for this year

101,410 (technically More bc i wrote ofic but that is obviously. not posted anywhere)

3. fandoms i wrote for

marvel, dc, pjo, the atlas series, soc, trc/tdt, hp, goncharov

4. pairings

petermj, petergwen, percabeth, libbynico, kanej, bluesey, blue/adam, clois, gonchandrey, jily

5. stories with the most

kudos: accidental heroism (the batman) 3,357 bookmarks: the jones-watson-parkers (spider-man) 844 but since that was posted last year it’s technically accidental heroism again w 640 comment threads: yet again… the jones-watson-parkers with 133 but it is still accidental heroism with 47

6. work i'm most proud of (and why)

ummmm idk actually the work im most proud of is my ofic theo and i cannot Show that to u anyway it’s bc i have never rly fully revised smth like. overhauled it n all that bc i finally Understood theo’s character and it was such a RUSH to work on her fr and ive produced some of my Best Writing To Date!!! for fic tho uh??!??!?!? im pretty proud of most fic ive written this year bc i have tried rly hard ok 😭 usually i can pinpoint a single fic but i think ive written consistently well ???

7. work i'm least proud of (and why)

a home for two (spidey) mostly because i did Not vibe writing it i was literally pulling teeth trying to finish it but ppl seem to like it idk

8. share or describe a favorite review you received

9. a time when writing was really, really hard

uh not for fic but i was tearing my hair out writing theo partially because of the content and partially because it is quite literally Difficult to write what’s perfect in your head and i haven’t even written theo to my own standards ngl

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

the entirety of final goodbye because. Well. who knew i would be writing goncharov fic actually who knew goncharov would even exist fr but in terms of spidey ... phantom bc. like. well i did not expect to write that At All and i didn't expect it to be That Long (relatively in my taste)

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing

Here’s the thing about loss: sometimes you grow up and around a person, fitting and stretching and expanding to add them to the patchwork of yourself, and when they leave, there’s a scar between both bodies. One here, one gone. An open wound. It’s surprising how much time you can spend with someone and still come out the other end empty-handed. (slip of reality | spidey)

12. how did you grow as a writer this year

oh i have learned to appreciate writing first person bc of theo <3 and writing a little longer things bc i am a serial 1-2k oneshotter and i have Exceeded that a bit

13. how do you hope to grow next year

perhaps i will Finally finish a multichapter fic jesus christ

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc)

there needs to be an @fnh button or smth at this point

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year

none that i can point out at the top of my head ! well. except for theo 🧍🏻‍♀️ i gave her too many lysisms which is concerning considering everything wrong w her n her chronic patheticness

16: any new wisdom you can share with other writers

new wisdom??? god not rly but here is some OLD wisdom that i feel like other writers should always listen to… read MORE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!

17: any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

working on the Novel™ n also attempting to finish all these wips i have left in the grave

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read

LITERALLY ANY OF YOU. IF U SEE THIS UR TAGGED <3

#tag games #writing review #not marvel #text #tais toi lys #soz this took ages <3

[malinaa]

2022 WRITING REVIEW

tagged: @rosesau @ttimbradford <3

1. number of stories posted to ao3: 27 (±2 bc i updated 2 fics that i started last year) but i reached over 100 works on ao3!!!!!

2. word count posted for this year: 101,410 (technically More bc i wrote ofic but that is obviously not posted anywhere)

3. fandoms i wrote for: marvel (spider-man), dc (batman, superman), pjo, the atlas series, six of crows, the raven cycle/the dreamer trilogy, hp, and goncharov 😭

4. pairings: petermj, petergwen, percabeth, libbynico, kanej, bluesey, blue/adam, clois, gonchandrey

5. stories with the most

kudos: accidental heroism (the batman) 3,357 bookmarks: the jones-watson-parkers (spider-man) 844 but since that was posted last year it's technically accidental heroism again w 640 comment threads: yet again... the jones-watson-parkers with 133 but it is still accidental heroism with 47

6. work i'm most proud of (and why): ummmm idk actually the work im most proud of is my ofic theo and i cannot Show that to u anyway it's bc i have never rly fully revised smth like. overhauled it n all that bc i finally Understood theo's character and it was such a RUSH to work on her fr and ive produced some of my Best Writing To Date!!! for fic tho uh??!??!?!? im pretty proud of most fic ive written this year bc i have tried rly hard ok 😭 usually i can pinpoint a single fic but i think ive written consistently well ???

7. work i'm least proud of (and why): a home for two (spider-man) mostly because i did Not vibe writing it i was literally pulling teeth trying to finish it but ppl seem to like it idk

8. share of describe a favorite review you received: this comment from a fic i posted last year bc "this fic is so PRETTY, literally poem in prose form im weeping. there's such a... melancholic vibe to it. or perhaps nostalgic. just, wow." has stuck w me forEVER!! and genuinely any comment i have even received from ao3 user Fairy527...u will ALWAYS be famous 2 MEEE!!!!!!

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: uh not for fic but i was tearing my hair out writing theo partially because of the content and partially because it is quite literally Difficult to write what's perfect in your head and i haven't even written theo to my own standards ngl

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the entirety of final goodbye because. Well. who knew i would be writing goncharov fic actually who knew goncharov would even exist fr

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: ok not to have an ego but there r a fair few bits

Here's the thing about loss: sometimes you grow up and around a person, fitting and stretching and expanding to add them to the patchwork of yourself, and when they leave, there's a scar between both bodies. One here, one gone. An open wound. It's surprising how much time you can spend with someone and still come out the other end empty-handed. (slip of reality | spider-man)

Touching her eclipses his image of Elysium. ANDDDD Annabeth faces her past self, a funhouse reflection of who she once was. Neglect and trauma have warped Young Annabeth into something smaller—into someone smaller. (the annabeth project | pjo)

The Ronan after was broken, a raven of a boy, all hollow-boned. Yearned for flight, yet trapped by a cage of his own making. (the living lynches | tdt)

The very fact of her breathing astounds him for some reason. There are working lungs, a network of veins, a beating, beautiful heart hidden inside her body. She is wonderfully, colossally alive. (a kiss without a kiss | trc)

12. how did you grow as a writer this year: oh i have learned to appreciate writing first person bc of theo <3 and writing a little longer things bc i am a serial 1-2k oneshotter and i have Exceeded that a bit

13. how do you hope to grow next year: perhaps i will Finally finish a multichapter fic jesus christ

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): seedemma <3 u made me worse as a person. also tangentially em's professor . why has that random man infiltrated my life i've never met him. anyway jack im also kithing u on the mouth btw

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: none that i can point out at the top of my head ! well. except for theo 🧍🏻‍♀️ i gave her too many lysisms which is concerning considering everything wrong w her n her chronic patheticness

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers: new wisdom??? god not rly but here is some OLD wisdom that i feel like other writers shld always listen to... read MORE BOOKS!!!!!!!!!! i swear u can taste the visceral difference btwn someone who writes and reads n someone who writes without reading n like ive read a fair few books this year and it has def seeped into my writing fr

17. any projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: working on the Novel™ n also attempting to finish all these wips i have left in the grave

18. tag some writers whose answers you'd like to read: ngl i forgot who writes fic im sorry so @bluepinstripes & @ogiroud (who won't see this until jan fr)

#tag games #my writing #writing wrapped #text #tais toi lys

[kjack89]

An Agreement Between Gentlemen (Chapter 13/14)

The penultimate chapter of the E/R Bridgerton AU, regency-era fake-marriage fic. In a return to form, this chapter is entirely SFW. (Chapter 1 tumblr | AO3, chapter 2 tumblr | AO3, chapter 3 tumblr | AO3, chapter 4 tumblr | AO3, chapter 5 tumblr | AO3, chapter 6 tumblr | AO3, chapter 7 tumblr | AO3, chapter 8 tumblr | AO3, chapter 9 tumblr | AO3, chapter 10 tumblr | AO3, chapter 11 tumblr | AO3, chapter 12 tumblr | AO3)

When this Author picked up the mantle left behind by the previous Lady Whistledown, it was with the intention of bringing a little levity to the otherwise long and sometimes dull proceedings that encompass the season, and to provide some color commentary that pokes fun at those otherwise generally unwilling to make light of themselves.

To that end, this Author has remarked upon and highlighted the general scandals that accompany this season as every season, the kind that serve to provide some drama to otherwise dull lives, but risk very little in terms of lasting damage.

This Author has never intended for this to cause actual harm, and as such, owes an apology to the Marquess of Enjolras and Mr. Grantaire. This Author does not dabble in morals, or legality; the sole concern of this column has been amusement, and the ruin of two gentlemen otherwise described by most who have met them as good men is something this Author cannot and will not be a part of any longer. While this Author cannot overstate that there was no prior knowledge of the truth behind the Marquess’s marriage, nonetheless the extra attention shone on it by and through this paper has brought harm, and for that, this Author is truly sorry.

While no promises can be made in regards to accidentally reporting similar in the future, this Author will certainly make every attempt to better vet sources before publishing rumor and innuendo. And the promise this Author does make is that the only additional mention of the Marquess of Enjolras or Mr. Grantaire in this paper will be for happy tidings, with best hopes for whatever they may face in the future. LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS, 6 JUNE 1831

The summons did not arrive with the usual fanfare, so much so that Enjolras almost missed them entirely.

No gilded envelope hand stamped with the King’s own seal, no scarlet-clad guard from the palace delivering it. Just a small, plain parchment envelope instructing Enjolras to attend to His Majesty the King the following day.

In truth, he very nearly almost missed it entirely, since Porter, who normally would have brought him such things, was confined to bed for the immediate future as he recovered – and the surgeon had been quite strict in his instructions. But Grantaire, far less used to having the number of servants Enjolras did, had seen it sitting on the table in the foyer and brought it into the dining room with him when he came in for breakfast.

“This is good news,” he told Grantaire after scanning through the note, though Grantaire didn’t look convinced.

“To be summoned in front of those with the power to strip you of your titles and lands and throw you in the Tower for the rest of your days, unless they decide to chop off your head instead?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Better a meeting with the King and Queen than the constable,” he pointed out. “Besides, there’s a limit to what they can do, and if they’re intervening now, it will serve to prevent the worst from happening.” He stood to leave the breakfast table before pausing and bending to kiss the top of Grantaire’s head. “In any case, the usual death in this situation would be by hanging, not beheading.”

“Because that’s so comforting a thought,” Grantaire said sourly.

“It should be.”

Grantaire stared at him. “The thought of you being hanged instead of beheaded?”

Enjolras gave him a look. “No, that the King wants to meet with me. I’m not fool enough to think my death by anything other than old age would bring you any comfort.”

Grantaire pretended to consider it. “Going out in a blaze of glory as you attempt to bring the whole damned system to its knees might.”

“Only if you are by my side as proof that I have won you over in the end.”

Grantaire’s expression softened for a moment. “I would die by your side in an instant, but I don’t think that’s proof of anything.” He kissed Enjolras before returning to the subject at hand. “In any case, why should the King wanting to meet with you bring me any comfort whatsoever?”

“Because it means the Crown wants this handled quickly and quietly,” Enjolras said. “Meaning very likely no public trial, and almost certainly no public execution.”

“That would be more comforting without the qualifiers ‘very likely’ and ‘almost certainly’.”

Enjolras sighed. “There is very little in life that is absolutely certain besides death and taxes.”

Grantaire smirked. “And as I have heard you rail about numerous times, the certainty of taxes is not always applied evenly.”

“Do you know, that may be the most romantic thing you have ever said to me,” Enjolras said, grinning at him.

“Oh, hush,” Grantaire said, but he was laughing, and seemed, for the moment at least, to forget his concerns about Enjolras’s impending appointment with the Crown.

They resurfaced in full force the following day as Enjolras adjusted his cravat while waiting for the carriage to pull around. “How do I look?” he asked, and Grantaire cast a baleful eye at him.

“Dressed well enough for a meeting with the King and Queen, and not at all like you’re headed to imprisonment or worse.”

Enjolras managed not to roll his eyes, mostly because he did not think it would help the situation. “Luckily for both us, I highly doubt the latter options will come to pass.”

But Grantaire didn’t smile, just reaching out to take Enjolras’s hand. “Just come back to me,” he whispered.

“I have every intention of doing so,” Enjolras told him, his voice low.

Grantaire sighed. “You know I’m going to be a nervous wreck until you do,” he said. “Just like I am every time you’re in danger, even if normally you’re the idiot who’s put yourself there.”

Enjolras half-smiled. “Arguably I’ve put myself in this danger as well.”

Grantaire gave him a look. “We’ve had this argument before,” he said evenly.

“Yes, and I still refuse to cast any blame on you.”

Grantaire just shook his head. “An argument we’ll have to continue another time, it seems.”

Now Enjolras managed a real smile. “Yes, and all the more reason for me to return. You know I hate to leave a fight unfinished.”

“No, you hate to leave a fight unwon,” Grantaire said pointedly, but for the first time all morning, he looked a little less miserable, and Enjolras took that as a small win in and of itself.

“Are they not one and the same?” he asked innocently, leaning in to kiss Grantaire, who stopped him, his face falling again.

“Enjolras—” he started, and Enjolras frowned.

“What?”

Grantaire searched his expression for a moment before blurting, “I have never once wished you to be less than who you are, and I do not wish it now. The man I love does not back down from a challenge, and his tongue is sharper than any sword.” He paused as if choosing his next words carefully. “But I beg of you, tread lightly. I will not love you less for holding back if it means you survive to fight another day.”

Enjolras did kiss him then, a slow, heated kiss that said hopefully everything he couldn’t bring himself. “I cannot promise my mouth will not get me in trouble. But I do promise I will not deliberately seek it out.” Grantaire made a face and Enjolras gave him a pointed look. “It’s as good a promise as you will get from me.”

“I know.”

“And yet you don’t seem satisfied.”

Grantaire sighed. “I will be satisfied when you are home with me again.”

“And with luck, that will be before you know it,” Enjolras told him bracingly, so convincingly that he almost believed it himself, enough to get him out the door and into the carriage before finally allowing himself to feel the nerves he’d been trying to swallow all morning.

What he had told Grantaire was the truth: this meeting almost certainly meant no real punishment was in store for him.

But he had very little idea of what was in store for him. And that worried him most of all.

----------

Enjolras slowly closed the door behind him, unsurprised when Grantaire immediately appeared from the drawing room, a glass of whiskey in hand, which, judging by the glassiness of his eyes, wasn’t the first he’d had. “Are you ruined?” he asked.

“Define ruined,” Enjolras said, a little grimly.

Grantaire scowled. “Perhaps now is not the time to be glib.”

Enjolras just shook his head as he crossed to him, dropping a kiss on his lips and grabbing the glass of whiskey from his hand, downing it in one gulp. “I wasn’t,” he rasped, handing the glass back to Grantaire and making his way into the drawing room. “The fact is that there is a limit to the punishment I can receive, barring criminal conviction and without an Act of Parliament.” He collapsed onto the couch, reaching up automatically to loosen his cravat. “The Crown has taken what actions it can, which is to say, I am no longer the Viscount of Digne.”

He delivered the words solemnly, but Grantaire just blinked in response. “I did not realize that you were.”

“It is a customary title bestowed upon the current Marquess of Enjolras, with some associated lands,” Enjolras said with a shrug. “Both will be given to more deserving peers, I’m sure.” He hesitated before adding, “Also, none of our issue will be eligible to inherit my title or any lands, save for that which I own outright.”

Grantaire stared blankly at him. “Any of our issue?” he repeated. “As in children?”

Enjolras made a face. “Well, technically my issue. I don’t think the Crown cares so much about yours.” He cleared his throat. “But if I were to remarry and sire children, none of those children would inherit.”

Grantaire raised both eyebrows. “And what are the chances of that?”

“Absolutely none,” Enjolras said, barking a dry laugh. “The King has also told me that my services to his Court will no longer be necessary, meaning my various ceremonial duties will doled out to others and my power at Court, so to speak, is diminished. Beyond that, I retain my title of Marquess and associated lands and riches, which means I will lead a very comfortable life.” He reached out for Grantaire’s hand, lacing their fingers together before raising his hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “With you at my side, and without having to hide. So to answer your question, no, I don’t consider that ruin. I consider that a gift.”

Grantaire looked relieved, but he still hesitated. “Even though I will be almost certainly landless and penniless?” he asked, and when Enjolras just frowned at him, he sighed and elaborated, “I doubt highly my father will continue to grant me my allowance and use of the houses when he receives Le Cabuc’s letter.”

Enjolras squeezed his hand. “The Enjolras purse has sustained this family for generations. There’s more than enough left to take care of the man I love.”

Grantaire searched his expression for a moment. “Yet you don’t seem completely satisfied. What else did the King say?”

“Well—”

Before Enjolras could elaborate further, someone cleared her throat from the doorway, and they both turned to look at Enjolras’s mother, who looked unusually somber. “Am I interrupting?”

On instinct alone, Enjolras started to pull his hand away from Grantaire’s, but Grantaire held tight, squaring his shoulders as he met Enjolras’s mother’s expression coolly. “As a matter of fact, you are. Your son and I are having a private conversation.”

He turned back to Enjolras, who tried not to laugh at the look on his mother’s face. But to his surprise, his mother did not immediately snap some dismissive rebuttal, instead inclining her head slightly. “And you have my apologies for intruding, especially at this trying time. But I need to speak to my son, alone, especially in light of his recent visit to the palace.”

Enjolras wasn’t surprised that she had somehow heard about his summons. “Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of me,” Grantaire said firmly. “Your son and I are sharing our lives, and that includes dealing with whatever family affairs you’ve brought with you.” He again turned to look at her. “And need I remind you, your part in our deception has not yet been revealed, but I will be more than happy to tell anyone and everyone who will listen what drove your son to the desperation of a fake marriage in the first place. I doubt highly your friends among the nobility will be impressed by what they learn.”

Enjolras’s mother’s lips pursed, but again, Enjolras was completely thrown by her response. “Thank you,” she said simply, and Grantaire’s cold expression slipped as he glanced over at Enjolras, who just shrugged. “I can see that you are protective of my son, and while I may not appreciate your tone, I do appreciate knowing that my son has found someone who loves him as...vigorously as you clearly do.”

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed, but Enjolras cleared his throat. “It’s fine,” he told Grantaire, squeezing his hand once more. “I trust her enough to have a conversation with her, and I can fight my own battles as needed.”

“Are you certain?” Grantaire asked in an undertone, eyeing Enjolras’s mother warily. “I believe you can fight your own battles, but it’s her I don’t trust…”

Enjolras rolled his eyes affectionately. “I have managed this long,” he assured him. 

“Fine.” Grantaire stood, but before leaving, he bent and kissed Enjolras, a long, slow kiss that Enjolras was fairly certain was for his mother’s benefit more than his own.

Not that he minded, since getting to kiss Grantaire and enrage his mother in the same blow was as close to perfection as Enjolras was likely to see in his lifetime.

Then Grantaire straightened again and winked at Enjolras before finally leaving, sidling past his mother with little more than a second glance. For her part, his mother looked mostly impassive at the display she had just witnessed, and she finally fully entered the room, perching imperiously on the armchair. “I suppose it’s too much to hope for tea,” she said with a sniff. 

Enjolras barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. “You might have heard that my butler was attacked,” he said sourly. “I’m sorry if him being laid up recovering from being shot is inconvenient to you.”

“I did hear about Porter, yes, but that’s not to what I was referring,” she said. “Have the servants started fleeing en masse?”

“None have yet offered their resignations, if that’s what you mean,” Enjolras said.

“Of course it’s what I mean,” she snapped. “This is a tainted household now – I doubt most will want to stay. Especially as they’ve no way to ingratiate themselves with whomever the next Marquess will be.” Her lips pursed again. “Do you even know which distant relative is your heir, now that you will almost certainly never sire children of your own?”

Enjolras shrugged unconcernedly. “A third cousin, isn’t it? Lives somewhere out in the west, if memory serves.”

Her eyebrows knit together. “I’m surprised you know that.”

“You once told me all about him when I threatened to abdicate after Father died,” Enjolras said mildly. “You seemed to think it would convince me to think otherwise.”

“Clearly it did.”

Enjolras laughed dryly. “I hate to tell you, Mother, but that actually played a very small part in my decision.”

She scowled. “Perhaps you should have abdicated back then. It may have made for an easier transition for all involved.”

“Perhaps so,” Enjolras said honestly, as it wasn’t the first time the thought had crossed his mind. “But we are well past that point now.”

“In more ways than one.” She paused, giving him a searching look. “I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to convince you to reconsider.”

Enjolras shook his head. “None.”

His mother nodded, her expression unreadable. “Then that’s the end of it.”

Enjolras hesitated, before saying, as casually as he could manage, “You seem…decidedly less surprised by this whole situation than I would expect.”

“What precisely is there to be surprised about?” she asked.

There were any number of things that Enjolras had expected her to be either shocked or scandalized by, let alone surprised, but the look on her face stopped him. “You mean…you knew?”

“That you were…otherwise inclined?” she provided delicately. “Of course I knew. A mother always knows.” Her expression twisted. “Though I rather hoped you would grow out of it, or at least do the sensible thing and marry a woman while seeking your amusement elsewhere.”

Enjolras shook his head slowly. “I’m not certain I see that as the sensible thing.”

She considered it for a moment before shrugging. “Perhaps not,” she said. “But more sensible than being stripped of your lands and titles.”

“Not all my lands, or all my titles,” Enjolras told her. “The Viscount of Digne is the only major one.”

She made a face. “No real loss there, the bishop in that area rules it with an iron fist and will probably be glad to see the backside of our family.”

Enjolras trusted her to know more about it than he did or frankly cared to. “And there’s a few minor lands that will be redistributed but for the most part, Grantaire and I have made it out unscathed.”

Again his mother made a face. “I don’t know that I would go that far—”

“I imagine you wouldn’t,” Enjolras muttered.

“—But all things considered, it could have been much worse.”

On that, at least, she was correct. “And I’m certain you’ll be glad to know that your own holdings will not be affected, nor your allowance,” he told her. “And Grantaire is letting you keep the dowry.”

That seemed to surprise her. “That is...generous of him,” she allowed, before frowning at her son. “But you speak as if all you think I care about is money.”

Enjolras just arched an eyebrow. “You have given me little evidence to suggest otherwise.”

“Caring about the well-being of my only son isn’t evidence enough?”

He managed not to roll his eyes, but just barely. “Faux sincerity isn’t your strong suit, Mother,” he informed her. “If you wish to convince me, you’ll have to try a different tack.”

To his surprise, she laughed lightly. “Maybe I will, when all the dust has settled,” she said, standing and brushing invisible dust from her skirt before telling him, “I will be leaving the city for the near future, and possibly even the country for a bit. I need my friends and allies at court to think that I was not party to this.”

“You weren’t,” Enjolras said, his brow furrowed. “And you are certainly at liberty to tell anyone you need to as such.”

“I have, and I will,” she said. “But I will also not outwardly condemn you the way they would wish, and that to some is enough to make them think otherwise.”

For the first time in what Enjolras was certain was his entire life, he was speechless. He had frankly expected her to do exactly that in order to maintain her social standing. “You could,” he blurted, ignoring the raised eyebrow she gave him. “Condemn us, I mean. I would not hold it against you if you did.”

“You and I both know that you absolutely would,” she said dryly. “But more than that, you are my son. For all your faults and all our disagreements, public and otherwise, that has never changed. And it will not change now.”

Enjolras was again taken aback by what she said. “Thank you,” he managed, before adding, a little wryly, “I think.”

A small smile crossed her face. “You’re welcome, I think. And now I should leave you to the start of your new life.”

She turned to head to the door, clearly deeming her role in this complete for the time being, but Enjolras stopped her, his curiosity getting the better of him. “What do you think of Grantaire?” he asked. “Now that you know what he is to me.”

She looked back at him, surprised. “You have never sought my approval before.”

“And I’m not seeking it now,” Enjolras said. “Just curious what you think.”

She nodded slowly. “He is not who I would have chosen for you,” she said after a long moment. “But then again, this life is not what I would have chosen for you.”

It was no more than what Enjolras had expected, but before he could say anything, she continued, “I know what you think of me, that you think me cold, and vain, and cruel. And there is certainly more than a little truth to that.” He looked up at her sharply, surprised by this most of all. “I know I shall always play the role of villain in your story. But despite what you may think, I have only ever wanted you to be happy.” She hesitated. “And it makes me terribly sad to know you have chosen a path where the world very well may never let you be happy.”

Enjolras just shook his head slowly. “The difference between you and I, Mother, is that I have never needed the approval of the world to be happy.” He gave her a sharp smile. “Hang what anyone else thinks. So long as I have Grantaire, we will make our own happiness.”

She returned his smile. “I do not doubt that you will. As I said before, you two make quite the pair, and whatever else you may think, I am glad that you two found each other.”

With that, she left, and Enjolras sat where he was for a long moment, digesting everything that had transpired. This had been a day of surprises, from his meeting with the King and Queen to now his conversation with his mother, and he shook his head slowly before standing to go find Grantaire.

He found him in the library, sitting sideways in an oversized armchair, his legs draped over the arm of the chair as he skimmed through a book with seemingly little interest. He brightened when he saw Enjolras come in, tipping his head up automatically for a kiss. “Is she gone?” he asked as Enjolras settled onto the sofa across from him.

“For now, yes.”

Grantaire’s eyes narrowed. “But not forever?”

Enjolras shook his head. “No, I’m afraid not even this scandal was enough to be rid of her forever. But I am...strangely not as bothered by that thought as I once would have been.”

Grantaire blinked. “Did she hit you on the head while she was in there with you?”

“Something like that, anyway,” Enjolras said with a laugh. “But enough about my mother. Where were we?”

He eyed Grantaire appreciatively, mentally trying to determine the mechanics of what they could do with him in that position, and Grantaire scowled. “Certainly not doing that,” he informed him, sitting upright. “You were finishing telling me about your audience with the King and Queen.”

“Oh. Right.” Enjolras shrugged and looked away. “Well, the Archbishop is apparently pushing for us to be excommunicated.”

Grantaire snorted. “Does that mean I no longer have to go to church?” he asked idly. 

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “Well, among other things. But there’s an issue.”

“What’s that?”

“We could be imprisoned if we’re excommunicated, for a start.”

Grantaire just arched an eyebrow. “Just as we could be imprisoned for sodomy?”

Enjolras made a face. “The Crown has no intention of pursuing those charges,” he said. “But getting excommunicated could lend credence to future attempts at levying those charges, at likely the least opportune time.”

Grantaire considered it for a moment. “Well. We’ve faced worse prospects.”

Enjolras frowned. “You seem remarkably blasé about the prospect of excommunication, considering how concerned you’ve been about the possibility of imprisonment or worse for the other charges.”

“Mostly because you don’t seem particularly worried about it, and I imagine if this were an actual threat, you’d be somewhat less calm,” Grantaire said evenly. “Besides, I had several glasses of whiskey while you were out so it will take quite a bit for me to get riled at this point.”

“You didn’t seem to have any difficulty getting riled at my mother,” Enjolras pointed out.

Grantaire smiled grimly. “That was a more immediate danger.”

Enjolras shook his head. “Well, you’re not wrong about this not being an actual threat, I suppose. The Monarchy has little desire to create a public spectacle via excommunication and as the Head of the Church, I imagine that’s the end of the matter.”

Grantaire nodded slowly. “Does that mean you’re actually going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Excommunication isn’t enough?” Enjolras asked, mostly rhetorically, and when Grantaire just gave him a look, he sighed. “Fine… I need to get word to Combeferre and Courfeyrac. We have much to discuss ahead of our next meeting.”

“Are you purposefully avoiding the question, or…?”

“I promise I am not,” Enjolras said, his voice low. “But they need to know, because this concerns all of us.” He paused, trying to figure out how to word what he needed to tell both Grantaire and his closest lieutenants. “I was...as surprised as any that the King did not wish to pursue any additional punitive matters. As a whole, the punishment dealt to me is mild, to say the least. And what troubles me is the reason he gave for why.”

Grantaire frowned. “He gave you a reason?”

Enjolras barked a dry, humorless laugh. “Oh, he gave me many. Most were mere platitudes, that out of respect for the service of my father, he would take no additional measures, etcetera, but he also alluded to his hope that our...situation would not inconvenience my political work.” He cleared his throat before adding sardonically, “That he hoped our allies would not abandon us with my public declaration of depravity.”

“And you suspect he actually hopes the opposite,” Grantaire said slowly.

Enjolras nodded. “I’m not going to pretend that my political sympathies are or have ever been well-received at court, and I think most were content to look the other way and pretend that the protests and political actions were the fun side project of an otherwise bored noble. Something I would grow out of in time. But now…”

He trailed off, and Grantaire’s expression turned grim. “Now they might not be so content to look the other way.”

“No,” Enjolras agreed. “And if I or any of our number were to get arrested—”

“Arrested again, you mean,” Grantaire said with the hint of a smile that Enjolras did not return.

“—My position is no longer enough to stave off any significant consequences.” 

Grantaire went very still. “Meaning what?”

“Meaning I may not be ruined. We may not be ruined. But Les Amis may be.”

----------

In lieu of coming over to Enjolras’s to discuss the situation, Combeferre suggested via return message that they call a special meeting of Les Amis. “That seems unusual,” Grantaire murmured, his brow furrowed as he read over the brief message. “Why would they not just come here?”

Enjolras shrugged. “Perhaps they don’t want to be seen entering a den of sin,” he said, more blithely than he remotely felt.

“Jest all you wish, but you cannot pretend the thought hasn’t entered your mind,” Grantaire said. “Not that I believe any of our friends will turn on us entirely, but they are all trying to make marriages of their own, and to be tainted by association…”

He trailed off, and Enjolras just shook his head. “That is their prerogative, and I will not hold it against any man to abide by his conscience.”

“Or by the prospect of increasing his purse?” Grantaire asked sourly.

Enjolras shrugged again. “If that is truly their reasoning, I doubt highly we would be associates for much longer in any case.”

Still, it was with an unusual amount of trepidation that they approached the Musain, and Enjolras hesitated before instructing his driver to drop them off at the back of the building by the worker’s entrance. “I do not doubt they would still receive us at the front entrance,” he told Grantaire. “I am, after all, still a marquess and a certain amount of respect must be paid. But I would rather not put them in that position all the same.”

Grantaire managed a wan smile. “You need not explain yourself to me,” he said. “I understand as well as any that the situation is complicated.”

Enjolras glanced at him. “Speaking of,” he said carefully, “have you heard yet from your father?”

“No.” Grantaire’s tone was clipped as he avoided meeting Enjolras’s eyes, looking out the carriage window instead. “I have not heard from him one way or another, so I have no indication if he has yet received Le Cabuc’s letter.”

“Could Le Cabuc have been bluffing?”

Grantaire shrugged. “Anything’s possible, but I doubt it,” he said. “He always did prefer my father to me.” He hesitated before adding, “I thought I might make a preemptive trip back to the house and gather some belongings. Just some personal effects, and things from my mother and sister that I would rather not lose to my father’s whims.”

Enjolras nodded slowly. “That is probably not a terrible idea.” He hesitated before asking, “Do you wish for me to accompany you?”

“I suspect that would cause more problems than it’s worth,” Grantaire said. “If I go by myself, I can hopefully slip in and out mostly unnoticed.”

Enjolras had expected that answer, but he couldn’t pretend that it didn’t sting, just a little. “Of course.”

Something of what he was feeling must’ve shown on his face, but Grantaire’s expression softened as he added, “Which doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love for you to return with me, or that I won’t miss you dreadfully while I’m gone.”

“But this is the reality of the life we’ve chosen,” Enjolras said heavily. “Going in the servants’ entrance to avoid being seen. Travelling incognito to not cause a scene. Less visitors or invitations to visit because people won’t wish to be associated with us.”

Grantaire eyed him warily. “I feel as though you are trying to make a point.”

Enjolras shrugged. “Just that I do not care about any of those things. But I would understand if you did, and if the reality of our life together does not align with what you may otherwise have expected.”

To his surprise, Grantaire laughed. “How many times must you and I have this conversation?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I wish that you had chosen a better life for yourself than one stuck with me, who was always titleless and is about to be in short order landless and penniless to boot, just as you wish I had chosen a better life for myself,” Grantaire said, a little impatiently. “But you and I both know that the best choice, the only choice, is each other and whatever accompanies that.”

Enjolras laughed as well, feeling a little relieved that they were on the same page in terms of what mattered. “You’re right.”

“I usually am,” Grantaire said smugly before reaching for Enjolras’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Une vie et un amour, remember?”

“Fidelitas usque ad mortem,” Enjolras said, his voice low, and Grantaire smiled.

“And I still aim to be.”

Together, they stepped down from the carriage and made their way into the Musain through the backdoor. The workers they passed barely gave them second glances, though Enjolras assumed that was likely because they recognized them as frequent patrons, and knew better than to stop or question them.

But despite arriving almost a half hour before the meeting Combeferre had called was set to begin, when they reached the backroom, they could hear the buzz of voices through the closed door. Grantaire gave him a startled look. “Has the meeting already begun?”

“It certainly appears that way,” Enjolras said, feeling inexplicably nervous as he stared at the closed door, straining to hear what was being said beyond it.

“Did Combeferre not say that it would start at 9?”

Enjolras nodded. “He did, but…” He trailed off, not willing to vocalize his doubts. Instead, he squared his shoulders and opened the door, walking in with Grantaire at his side. Combeferre and Courfeyrac stood at the front of the room, the rest of their number assembled, all looking unusually somber, and all conversation stalled as soon as they looked back at Enjolras. “Forgive the interruption,” Enjolras said coolly, closing the door behind him. “I did not realize the hour of our meeting had changed.”

“It didn’t,” Combeferre said, his expression impassive. “But there was certain business we felt we should attend to before your arrival.”

“What sort of business?” Grantaire asked with a frown.

Combeferre did not seem deterred by his tone. “The business of determining if your continued membership amongst our association is beneficial or a detriment, mostly.”

“I see,” Enjolras said, his heart sinking in his chest. “Well, don’t let us impede your discussion.”

“We have nothing left to discuss,” Courfeyrac interjected. “All that remains is to vote.”

Grantaire reached out and took Enjolras’s hand, lacing their fingers together firmly. Combeferre cleared his throat. “All those in favor of expelling Enjolras and Grantaire from our number due to their sexual deviance and the threat that it poses to Les Amis and our efforts?”

Not a single hand rose in the air, and Grantaire squeezed Enjolras’s hand.

“And all those opposed?”

As one, all of their friends raised their hands before standing and applauding. Joly and Bossuet were positively beaming, Courfeyrac wolf-whistled, and Combeferre stepped forward to embrace Enjolras. “There was never any doubt which way the vote would go,” he told Enjolras, “but I knew you would not be satisfied if there was no vote at all.”

“Besides, if we start exiling people for buggery, there are more than a few of us who would be in trouble,” Courfeyrac said cheerfully as he embraced Enjolras as well.

“Hear, hear,” Bahorel chortled.

Joly took Bossuet’s hand and squeezed it. “Grantaire helped us avoid a scandal of our own, and we owe him our loyalty,” he said. “Besides which, I swore to go through fire for you, and I would not forsake that oath lightly.”

“Thank you, my friends,” Enjolras said quietly, his chest tight with emotion.

Grantaire squeezed his hand once more before leaning in and whispering in his ear, “It appears I am not the only one who understands the meaning of loyalty until death.” Enjolras wordlessly squeezed his hand in return and Grantaire smiled at him before asking Courfeyrac, “But one of our number is missing, is he not? Where is your erstwhile roommate this evening?”

“Oh, he has found the girl he was looking for,” Courfeyrac said airily. “It turns out your little announcement was good for more than one thing – she was the one who swooned in his arms!”

Much laughter greeted that announcement and Enjolras shook his head. “Leave it to Marius…” he started before trailing off, glancing around the room at the smiling faces of each of his friends, all those whom he loved most in this world. “Thank you all,” he said softly. “I know this will not be easy, but I appreciate your continued faith and love.”

“Our goal has always been to fight against oppressive powers in whatever form,” Combeferre told him. “And condemning men based on consensual acts in their bed chamber would be playing into that oppression.”

“Just promise us one thing,” Bossuet interjected.

Enjolras raised both eyebrows. “What’s what?”

“No funny business,” Bossuet said, mock-sternly. “No suddenly agreeing with everything the other says just because it’s your lover saying it.”

Again everyone laughed and Enjolras shook his head good-naturedly. “I don’t think we’re in much danger of that.”

“After all,” Grantaire added slyly, “what I love far more than him agreeing with me is that delightful shade of red he gets when he so vehemently disagrees with me. Who am I to give that up now?”

“In truth,” Enjolras said when the laughter again died down, “we aim to keep things as much the same as we can.” 

“And we’ll be relying on you lot to keep it that way,” Grantaire said. 

“There’s one other promise we would ask,” Feuilly said, glancing around. “Or at least, that I would ask.”

Enjolras’s smile faded, just slightly, at Feuilly’s far more serious tone. “If it is in our power to grant it, we will.”

“No more lies.” There were a few murmurs of agreement that Feuilly waited to die down before continuing, “There is not a man among us who does not understand the reason for your deception, but we in this room are brothers, and we deserve the truth no matter what consequence it may bring.”

Grantaire took Enjolras’s hand once more and squeezed it before affirming, “No more lies. We owe not just you the truth from here on out, but each other as well. And it’s the very least that we can give in return for your generosity and personal sacrifices.”

“In that case, let us open the wine and get the celebration started,” Jehan called, standing up on his chair to be seen. “To Enjolras and Grantaire!”

“To Enjolras and Grantaire!” everyone repeated, whatever glasses they had in hand, and Enjolras rolled his eyes with obvious affection before leaning in and kissing Grantaire as everyone cheered.

Grantaire was grinning as he pulled away, and that sight alone was enough to make everything they had endured and everything that they had left to endure absolutely worth it in Enjolras’s opinion. But before he could say anything to that effect to Grantaire, Joly and Bossuet grabbed Grantaire by both arms, tugging him away. “You owe us more than mere truth,” Joly said, with an almost evil grin. “You owe us details.”

“Exactly,” Bossuet said, wearing a matching smile. “And we want to hear all about your first time bedding Enjolras.”

“We promised the truth, not all the gory details,” Grantaire protested, making a pleading face at Enjolras, who just laughed. 

Before he could rescue him, Combeferre pulled him aside. “I wanted a moment, if it is not too much of an imposition.”

Enjolras clapped him on the shoulder. “For you, my friend, never. Especially as I believe I owe you especially an apology for our deceit.”

Combeferre shook his head. “I understand it more now,” he said. “And honestly, I’m surprised I did not put the pieces together earlier.”

“Grantaire said he was always a little obvious, even if I never noticed either,” Enjolras said good-naturedly.

But Combeferre just shook his head. “Grantaire may have been, but it’s you I should have noticed.”

“Me?”

Combeferre shrugged. “Looking back on it, all the clues were there, least of all how you allowed Grantaire to stay, not just for meetings, but well into the night when you were ostensibly working, a privilege bestowed on no one else. And I cannot help but think that if I had noticed sooner, we would have had more time to plan, to minimize the fallout.”

Enjolras just shook his head. “My friend, you could have told me until you were blue in the face that I was completely and obviously in love with Grantaire, and I would never have believed you,” he said. “It was something I needed to figure out with him.” He made a face. “Though you are right that I should have told you sooner, before we made our announcement, so that plans could have been made in advance, and for that, I do owe you an apology.”

“One that I readily accept,” Combeferre told him. “And the only recompense I ask from you is the answer to this: are you happy?”

“Yes,” Enjolras said, without even needing to consider it. “More so than I thought was possible, or at least probable.”

Combeferre gave him a wide, genuine smile. “Then the rest we will deal with when or if the time comes.”

Again, Enjolras’s chest felt tight with emotion, with the weight of how much his friends cared for him and Grantaire. “I truly do not know how to thank you, how to thank everyone, for what you have given Grantaire and myself.”

“There is no need to thank us,” Combeferre said. “Especially since you have given us something equally precious.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are free,” Combeferre said simply. “And that gives the rest of us hope.”

----------

Enjolras let out a sigh of relief mingled with happiness as he sat down in the waiting carriage. Grantaire clambered in after him, and sat down on the bench next to him instead of sitting across from him. “That went well.”

“That went far better than well,” Enjolras said.

Grantaire glanced sideways at him. “Surely you did not expect Combeferre or Courfeyrac to abandon you, or honestly any of our friends.”

Enjolras just shrugged. “In truth, I did not know what to expect.” He nudged Grantaire gently. “Thank you, by the way.”

“Whatever for?”

“For making my life complete,” Enjolras said honestly. “And so completely happy.”

Grantaire smiled at him, his eyes shining even in the dim light of the carriage, but he promptly ruined the moment by asking, “How much wine did you drink?”

Enjolras rolled his eyes. “I had half a glass at best,” he protested. “Not nearly enough to undermine my sincerity. Nor my conviction that somehow, against all odds and, frankly, against our own efforts to the contrary, everything for us is turning out better than I ever could have imagined, let alone hoped.”

Grantaire rested his head against Enjolras’s shoulder. “We have been extraordinarily lucky,” he murmured.

“We have been,” Enjolras agreed, squeezing Grantaire’s hand. “We have our friends, and we have each other. Whatever else comes our way, so long as we still have that, we will be fine.”

“More than fine,” Grantaire corrected, raising Enjolras’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “Our future will be happy. Of that, I am as certain as anything.”

“Being in love really has changed you if you suddenly start espousing convictions,” Enjolras teased.

But Grantaire just smiled at him. “It’s changed us both.”

“For the better?” Enjolras asked.

Grantaire kissed him, a gentle, sweet kiss that was a promise of more to come. “For the best.”

#enjolras #grantaire #exr #enjolras x grantaire #enjoltaire #les amis #bridgerton au #canon era #regency au #chaptered #part 13 #fake marriage

[zanniscaramouche]

❄️ Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2021 ❄️

I was so inspired seeing @haztobegood‘s answers! Thank you for the tag, darling ♡

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 17 + 1 that will post tomorrow! 

2. Word count posted for the year: 285,714

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Teen Wolf, The Witcher (TV) -> not posted yet

4. Pairings:  Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Harry Styles/Liam Payne Harry Styles/Niall Horan Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles Niall Horan/Louis tomlinson/Harry Styles/Liam Payne Naill Horan/Shawn Mendes

5. Story with the most: Kudos / Bookmarks / Comments : Keep Me Closer  (I am very surprised by this! Did NOT expect that fic to be anything special) 

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Singing Harmonies in Neverland's Embrace because I felt so strongly for these characters and I truly believe I nailed the stylistic choices I made to tell the story in the unique way I wanted it to be told. 

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Somehow, Someway I had a self-set quota to post 2x fics per month and I wrote this purely to meet that quota. There was so little heart, passion, or joy in this project and I think you can really tell when compared to other things I’ve done. It’s a reminder to me to write what I want to be writing, and not care about the rest. 

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: @bluecolouredlou wrote me a goddamn essay after reading A Tear in the Sky , a fic that I am completely enamored with but didn’t get a lot of traction due to it being a rarepair. Their feedback and depth of emotional connection to the story was a huge humbling experience and felt like winning the Oscar of writing, because to make people feel has always been my biggest goal and they divulged every bit of emotion they’d felt while reading my work. It is the most precious gift anyone’s ever given me. (But also every single comment on The Ground Below is Above My Feet made me cry) 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: August. The month that everything fell apart. I was writing so much up until then, but fate had other plans… Writing was a struggle from then on until the first week of December or so. I am so SO thankful to be reunited with my mojo. 

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in  Your Pain (is mine now) was a complete surprise! I was not prepared for him to have as much baggage as he did, but the more I wrote the less that piece was ‘fun smut fic’ and more ‘smut fic with a side of angst’ and you know what? I aint mad. 

❄️ More Under the Cut

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: The voicemail from The Ground Below is Above My Feet :

Between the sixth and seventh attempt it clicks. Harry’s not going to answer, and even if—

The beep cuts in.

“You won’t ever hear this.” Louis completes his thought. A hand comes to his hair, grips the front of his fringe. “Fuck, you won’t ever listen to this you fucking bastard because you think I’m trynna stop—” He licks his chapped lips, tugging at a fleck of peeling skin. “I just want to hear your voice one last time, please, I just need one last ‘I love you’ and I’ll… ” Louis gasps over a shudder, unable to breathe and speak and think all at once. “I love—” He chokes. He pulls the phone away with a muffled, “Shit.”

So much for the truth.

He stops in the loo to scrub his face with cold water before returning to Niall’s bedside.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: Losing my fear of bad writing. The sheer amount of work I was able to produce was incredible once I got over this! If you’ve heard the story about the two groups making pots, I really wanted to be the group that made as many pots as possible. In my case, it was to write as many fics as possible, some better than others, so that through quantity I would discover quality. And it worked! I think my writing has developed immensely in so many technical ways, and it all comes down to being unafraid to write a mountain of rubbish to find the diamond within. 

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I’d love to write longer, more involved stories, starting with my Big Bang this year! 

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Uhm. hmm. I did mimic some of my writing style on cerain fics after a few poets I’ve read this year, the most well known unsurprisingly being Richard Siken. I also reread the Shiver series by Maggie S and woooow yeah, that was a big inspo for creating narrative flow and vivid senses. 

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Definitely! In Singing Harmonies in Neverland's Embrace there’s a small bickering moment with the crew over the radio, and really Liam’s general annoyance for his earpiece. I wear a radio 70 hours a week on a busy film set, so that was definitely inspired by my life. In Ground Below, when Louis is surprised there’s such a thing as moisturiser just for faces, that was also inspired by an interaction I had with an ex, and the way he hears the car crash was inspired from my own experience being invovled in and witnessing crashes irl. I’m sure there are more but those are the ones that come immediately.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Open a document and write what happens. That’s it. Nothing fancy, nothing cheeky, nothing overly inteligent or original. Write what happens. THEN in your second draft, make it look like you knew what you were doing. This advice comes from Neil Gaeman and it honestly changed my approach to writing. You don’t need to have beautiful pros in the beginning, like drawing all you need are some circles and squares to know the general idea of it all. Only after you have the whole picture roughed in can you worry about going in to make it detailed and nuanced. 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I am so hoping to finish my Big Bang: If My Heart Were Mine, a fic I’ve had drafted for two years now (previously known by it’s working title Called Your Name) As well as the time travelling idea I’ve had for awhile: Who Hung the Moon. Very recently I’ve become enamoured with this idea for a fic for The Witcher TV series and I’d also love to see that come to life, but it will be quite a huge undertaking!  Fingers crossed. 

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. A lot of people I would have tagged were already tagged, so hmm… @risthebrave @larry-hiatus @jacaranda-bloom @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @hershelsue @londonfoginacup @sadaveniren  

#zanni thinks #2021

[loveislarryislove]

2021 Writing Reflection

I know it’s now the new year but shhhh I wanted to do this and I put it off until the last minute, this is who I am as a person. 

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 11 -- that’s honestly more than I thought! 

2. Word count posted for the year: 90,427

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Critical Role, The 100 

4. Pairings: Larry, BeauYasha, Lexa/Costia

5. Story with the most...

Hits: Could We Be Such Fools 

Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments: something brand new you've never seen

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

I’m proud of a lot of my stories for a lot of different reasons. It’s hard to pick just one, so I’m going to shout out a couple:

Could We Be Such Fools and like the light coming through the windows were both ideas I’d been exploring for a long time, so I was excited to finally get to make them a reality. 

Could We Be Such Fools is also the longest fic I’ve written in five years (since 2016!), and the third longest fic I’ve written ever. 

there's so much that I can't touch was the most self-motivated fic I’ve written in a while -- it was still for the Troped collection, but I wasn’t officially in the event so I had no deadline or specific accountability holding me to it. 

You Only Hold Me In Winter (so how can you know me at all) was written for the Troped: Visual challenge, where a nine-picture moodboard was used as inspiration. That’s a lot of pieces to try to reference in one fic, especially since I was trying to avoid the Harry Potter vibes that the moodboard was themed around because I wanted an extra challenge. It was a hard one, but I really enjoyed writing the story and I’m really happy with how it turned out.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): 

Again, I can see different accomplishments or importances in different fics, so there’s usually something I’m proud of, but it is true that I have some fics I like better than others -- ones I felt I could have done better or that were rushed or just didn’t turn out how I hoped. And that’s okay! It’s still a learning experience. 

I think I’d probably pick You Choose Your Race (And Then You Run) -- this was another Troped fic for Troped: Madness, and I just didn’t feel like I had a good idea for the assigned tropes -- specifically the “based on a children’s book” one just threw me for a loop. I was satisfied with the result, but it wasn’t really the kind of story I was as interested in writing.

I was also really blown away with the response to i know i've grown (but i can't wait to go home) -- I wrote most of it the day it was due, so it felt rushed, and I worried it was a little too cliche or that the plot would feel unsatisfying. But it was one of my top fics all year! Just goes to show that you never know what will resonate with people.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

I received a lot of great comments this year, on old and new fics, and I love all of them, but I think one of the standout responses was actually @honestlytrulycompletelysteady’s tags on a reblog of the fic post for something brand new you’ve never seen:

#annika!!!!#i've just had the best hour reading this!!! at work!!!!#it was so good !!!!#like enjoying my favourite ice cream#🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#thank you

It’s just... such a heartwarming description and feeling. I don’t technically endorse reading fic at work, but it feels like a great honour that you did. And the “favourite ice cream” description, just... *clenches fist* my heart!!! 

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

The sarcastic cynic in me wants to say that writing is always hard haha. I don’t remember any particular scenes or stories that I especially struggled with, but in general I just kept alternating between having too many commitments and no commitments. The Wordplay event this year overlapped with Troped: Visual, and then for the end of the year I had two fic exchanges and a fic fest to finish over the course of a month or so. I am terrible at getting things done without deadlines, so I procrastinate to the last minute, but it’s all worked out for the most part!

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

I don’t usually write smut, it’s just not my vibe most of the time, so I was quite startled by how things, ah, escalated in Could We Be Such Fools. I may have doubled my total smut word count haha. But I’m quite pleased with how it turned out! 

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: 

Oof, it’s so hard to pick one. Especially without quoting like a whole page of text. I think for a snippet, I’ll go with this one from there's so much that I can't touch:

Lexa stands on the balcony, looking down at the city. Looking at her people. The people she has sworn to protect. The people she has given up everything to lead -- to serve.

Has she failed them?

“It feels like nothing I do is enough,” she whispers. “I can’t protect her.”

“That is the curse of leadership,” Becca says softly. Her hand is feather soft on Lexa’s shoulder, a comfort and a weight at the same time. “We can never save them all.”

Lexa bows her head, biting back words she can’t decide if she means -- I don’t want to save them all; I just want to save her. She wants both. But she’s learning that she might not be able to have either.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

I don’t know if this counts, since it’s more art than writing, but I’ve started making more and more fic posts this year! I’ve never thought of myself as very good at visual media, and I definitely still feel like I have a lot of room to improve, but I’m feeling more confident and motivated and it’s feeling more fun than intimidating! I think I made 6 posts, and while I still have difficulty thinking of images and finding things that fit my ideas and arranging everything, it’s been fun to gain that confidence. I look forward to making more in the year to come! 

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’m doing a “goals” post as well, which I’ll link once it’s up (edit: here it is!), but I think the big-picture things would be that I’d like to write for some new fandoms, I’d like to do more reading and beta-ing, and I’d like to try to do some more self-motivated writing rather than just for events. I’d also like to get back into some other media, like poetry and songs, as well as continuing to write stories.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

This might seem like a cop out answer, but the writing communities I’ve joined this year have been really wonderful, both @1d-library and @troped-fanfic-challenge. I’ve loved chatting on Discord, sprinting together, sharing ideas and projects, hyping each other up, promoting each other, all that jazz. It’s been great -- it’s kept me really motivated and excited, and it’s super cool to feel so connected to people whose work I really admire and respect. Thank you all <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

Hmm, not a lot that I can notice offhand this year? I can definitely identify things in past years, but I’m not sure if there’s anything this time (or maybe I’m not distant enough yet to notice). Maybe just, like, having hard conversations with people you love? Or maybe feeling directionless/trying to find purpose in one’s future. Let’s not dig too hard into that haha. 

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

I don’t know that this is “new” wisdom, but it’s definitely something I believe and want more people to believe -- you don’t have to be ashamed of past content, even if you think it’s “bad” compared to where you are now. It was part of the process. Some of my first fics are pretty rough, looking back, both in terms of grammar and in terms of story, but I still genuinely enjoy reading them -- because I wrote stories I wanted to tell, and stories I wanted to read. When I read those stories back, I’m not ashamed of the cliches or the mistakes with when to start a new paragraph -- I’m proud, of how far I’ve come, of how much I’ve learned, of how much I’ve grown as a writer. Reading those old stories reminds me what I’ve accomplished and how much work I’ve put in to get here. That’s damn cool. If you think your writing now isn’t as good as you want to, that’s fine -- it’s part of the process, and you’ll get better if you keep going. And you might look back someday and realize, those stories you thought were terrible actually weren’t that bad after all! 

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

Several! Some are more thought out and specific, some more general and loosey-goosey, and who knows which ones will happen, but (in no particular order): 

I need to finish my XmasXchange fic, thank god for extensions haha it’s still Christmas in my heart

More Troped! I’m especially stoked for the Throwback, and excited to see what other events happen and what stories they bring, from me and others

I have an idea for a Larry fic I really want to write this year based on “August” by Taylor Swift (and the rest of the teen love triangle). I have a really deep personal connection to that song, and I’d love to explore the story it tells me

I want to write more for my series of fluffy canon-divergent established-relationship Vax’ilmore moments because I just need that kind of softness in my life

I’m thinking of signing up for the @onceuponatimeficfest; I have an idea but it’s so out there that I’m almost intimidated by it haha. We’ll see! 

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I think most of the folks who want to do this have by now, especially since it’s the new year (I procrastinate like there’s no today only tomorrow), but I’d love to see anyone else’s answers who has done this -- so if you haven’t been tagged, please consider this an invitation, and please tag me in your responses! I’ll be tagging a few people who also expressed interest in seeing others’ answers, as well as some folks who I don’t think I’ve seen posts from and who might be interested in sharing: 

@twopoppies @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @disgruntledkittenface @absoloutenonsense @lovingstheantidote @laynefaire @probably-voldemort @willexxmercer @northernxstories 

#mine #fics #my fics

[picnokinesis]

fic writer review

tagged by the wonderful @swinging-stars-from-satellites whoop!! Let’s go!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Fourteen! It was thirteen until yesterday, which appealed to me a lot, but I decided that posting pirate!thoschei was worth changing that number hahaha

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

394,102

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically five, because I’m not counting Avengers and MCU as two different fandoms hahaha. But they are: Doctor Who (2005), MCU, Stargate Universe, The Greatest Showman, and X-Men (comics) - the latter, though, wasn’t really for that fandom, because I was writing a TGS X-Men au hahaa

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Liminality , with 195 kudos - I am not surprised about this one, since it’s probably the most ‘readable’ of my fics, being a oneshot, not shippy, and also not being stupidly long haha!

Renegades in the Ring , with 144 kudos - I didn’t realise how much kudos this one got? I guess it helped that the fandom was very active when I first posted this. Alas, if only I had finished this one...I have a lot of nostalgia for the idea, but I don’t think I’ll ever return to it, simply because it would take about as much effort as campervan au is taking me right now. 

i need a place to hide (before the storm begins) , with 125 kudos - which I am genuinely SO happy about because ahh! This is my big project and to know that 125 people said ‘yes this is good’ is just...really really nice?? Especially when it’s such a niche, specific au.

Tropospheric Disturbance , with 125 kudos - honestly, I’m surprised this one has as many kudos as it does, since I regularly forget I even wrote it hah! It’s a weird one, because it’s not actually in my usual writing style, but I am very proud of it!

and they did live by watchfires , with 109 kudos - and I’m really really happy to see this one here, because I think this is probably the favourite thing of my own that I’ve written. 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YES absolutely!! I love comments so much, and I really love to ramble about my stories because I almost always have a LOT of thoughts hahaha

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I mean, it’s probably a toss up between i need a place to hide (because I ended it on that twist/cliffhanger), Retrograde (which is another cliffhanger ending, leaving all the characters in a REALLY BAD situation), or maybe the new problem kid, you’ll taste all the salt in my lungs, because, uh, it basically ends with the Doctor saying ‘the person I was before this moment is dead’ HAHAHA. But, to be honest, I don’t know if I would call any of those endings VERY angsty? They’re more like ‘AHHH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT’ endings rather than angst. I don’t tend to write angsty endings because I love angst but I always prefer to end it on a hopeful note...otherwise it feels very unsatisfying for me to write, personally. 

7. Do you write crossovers?

Technically? I mean, I see Renegades as an au more than a crossover, because it’s merely set in the same universe as the X-Men comics, and the only crossover element is Nathaniel Essex being in it...and I never even wrote those scenes hahaha

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, people are wonderful!

9. Do you write smut?

Since I’m sex-repulsed, this is a hard no HAHA

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know!

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I have not

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Me and @sunshinedaysforever have a collab-wip graveyard in our dms HAHA - but I am actually working on cowriting a fic with some other wonderful folks at the moment! I am. Supposed to have my part finished by the 6th. Hm. 

13. All time fav ship?

Right now, it’s thoschei/spydoc, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s my all time favourite, because my favourite changes a lot. I do have a HUGE amount of love for Clintasha and Rush/Young though! 

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Hmmmmm, there’s a few. I mean, at the moment, I feel like The Grandfather Paradox will NEVER get finished, but I like to think that if I’m still into Doctor Who enough when I finally finish campervan, I might take a crack at it? Grandfather Paradox is more solid atm than some of my other wips...(see: deathless, disarmed). Oh, I know which one I almost certainly won’t finish - this one I came up with waaay back before In the Wind, which is set between O55 and Telsa, which is about telepathy and not listening to warnings from the past, amongst other things.

15. Writing strengths?

I’ve been informed that I’m really good at character voices, and I also think that I’m quite good at expanding characters we see very little of and fleshing them out a lot more. I’ve had to do that a lot for campervan and it’s been really good fun!

16. Writing weaknesses?

I think I can get kinda tangled in the emotional plot lines sometimes, and it makes everything get convoluted and messy and hard to follow? Also I’m not very good at...taking a good metaphor and expanding it? If that makes sense. I’m also actually kind of terrible at subtle, clever foreshadowing because half the time I don’t know what’s happening HAHAHAHAH but sometimes I do manage it!! I’m trying to do it in campervan at the moment. Also I. Can’t write short things HAHA. My characters always think and talk a LOT and sometimes that’s good, sometimes not so much

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m actually doing it currently in part 5 of campervan, since Gabriela and Jamila both speak portuguese (and I’m learning portuguese!)

18. First fandom you wrote for?

On ao3? Stargate Universe. On the internet? The Avengers. Ever? Uh. I honestly don’t know. I made up ocs based on two unicorns in the aftercredits sequence of a My Little Pony VHS tape, does that count?

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

I mentioned it earlier, but I’m extremely proud of and emotionally attached to and they did live by watchfires

If anyone wants my ao3, it’s right over here!

And oh, who to tag!! No pressure, of course, but: @sunshinedaysforever @theplatinthehat @taardisblue @hetzi-art @krebkrebkreb @echo84 @theoreticalabsurdity @1-of-those-things @walker-lister @timelostdoctor and anyone else who wants to!

#taka gets tagged #this was an interesting one!! #thanks for the tag!

[naralanis]

Fic Writer Review!

Thanks @mssirey for the tag! I totally didn't have a crisis with the very last question, not at all bwhahaha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41, soon to be 42. ASJKLDBLAHSDSD how. And also why. But mostly, how.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

565,934 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I was going to check my unpublished works but ya know what. Maybe I've written enough akdjsa

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically speaking, I've written and published fics for five fandoms. However, I only have one story for OUAT (and I have @shadowdianne to thank for that... or do I?) and one for Captain Marvel. Mirandy was my first love, Cissamione the second, and Supercorp has burrowed in my brain and just won't let go.

I've also technically written for Xena, Legend of Korra, and Criminal Minds, but since I never published those, we're going to pretend they don't exist!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Only two are WIPs! YEAH! They're the top two, but WHO CARES, here they are:

1) Perhaps, aka my baby, my child, my darling, the apple of my eye. If I ever had to choose to finish only ONE of my WIPs, this would be the one. This story has grown with me, and I think you can tell when you read. Or maybe not!

2) For the Better. If the former is my baby, this one is like... my moody teenager. I love it dearly, but... it takes a lot out of me. An ode to one of the first fandoms I actively wrote for, it sits unfinished, but nearly, oh so nearly done. I will finish it, damn ittt.

3) The Date. Honestly, this one really surprised me -- it's one of my oldest one-shots, and something I definitely dashed off between lectures back in Scotland, maybe alternating with FtB chapters. It's one of my first attempts at humour, I think.

4) Bits and Pieces. AYY, I wasn't sure Supercorp would make the cut, WOOOT! This one was the second Supercorp fic I ever wrote, and I did it because Lena Is Baby and the idea just wouldn't leave my brain.

And lastly, the fabulous number 5... Perfect. AKA Nara's First (published) Explicit Fic, featuring Praise Kink and an Enchanted Dildo (for... reasons). I'm not gonna lie, I am so HAPPY this one made it, because it has a special place in my heart. It's where Soft Butch Hermione comes to life, and if you don't love Soft Butch Hermione, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I love her.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Eeermmm... some? I do want to respond, but I'm terrible with keeping up with comments, I really am. For whatever reason, even when I do my best, I don't really love responding directly on AO3. I also turned off all email notifications for AO3 because turns out my brain WILL be distracted by even a single one.

I'm much more responsive on Tumblr, I promise!

6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending:

Any of my Narlily works, I guess? Like... All Flowers Wither or Carry On.

Unshackled would be another one, though it's Cissamione... but I caved and made a happy(ish) second part for that one.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope! Crossovers just don't do it for me, generally speaking (reading or writing).

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

EvEr rEcEIvEd hAtE-- yes. Oh, yes. I've been told my writing is terrible, I've been told my stories were a 'waste of time,' or 'overhyped,' I've had people tell me there was only One Way to write a certain pairing and my way was definitely Not The Way.

The list goes on.

It used to really, really bother me--still does, but in a much smaller way. Delete/Block buttons are my friends.

9. Do you write smut?

I write an absurd amount of smut. I just don't publish any of it because. Fear.

My pretty, pretty pens have created some filthy, filthy things.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A couple of times -- only once or twice like, straight up attributed to someone else who acted like they were the one writing it. The other times were reposts or translations (without my permission, so still. stolen).

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I've authorized a couple of translations of a few of my DWP works. I'm usually cool with people translating my stuff IF THEY ASK ME FIRST and GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT.

9/10 it's some Brazilian who translates it to Portuguese without my permission and then gets upset when I, another Brazilian, do not endorse it and politely ask them to take the thing down. Thankfully it's been a while. ASK ME, DAMN IT.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nothing published bwhaha!

13. All-time favourite ship?

Right now SuperCorp is definitely barking a little louder, so to speak, but I don't really have one favourite overall. It depends on the fandom, sometimes! Cissamione is very dear to my heart, because it's just so fucking out there and literally every one in this ship has some of the most fascinating headcanons for this pairing and it's just. So wonderful.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Eeeeuuughhh.... Right now? Probably The Appraisal. I forget what I wanted to do with it, I'm not sure if I'm still feeling the premise... IDK.

I think the same could be said of For the Better, but I PROMISED to finish it, and GOD DAMN IT, I am so close I can't throw in the towel just yet.

15. Writing strengths?

You want ME to say good things about MYSELF? I'm still learning how to do that asldkjbasdn it's a work in progress. But I think I'd say... maybe world-building, at least on my longer works?

I would also like to think I do pretty OK in... IDK, some of the punchy stuff? The 'oh wait a minute' moment? IDK if that makes sense!

16. Writing weaknesses?

Organizing. Plot (HAHA IKR). Consistency. Editing (which is rich from someone who literally edits shit for a living... but go figure). Pacing. Weirdly long sentences? Commas for DAYS.

I could go on.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I am a-OK attempting it in French/Spanish/Portuguese. It may not sound natural, but it will be correct. If I'm trying another language, I'll definitely get help! But I've got no problem with it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Harry Potter, Dramione specifically, and you'll never find a shred of it. I was like 12, and almost a decade later I figured out Hermione was much better off with Draco's mother.

19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOSE asdkljasdl I CAAANNN'TTTT

I mean, obviously Perhaps is one of them -- it is my baby, that has been established. I think Little Bumps in the Road is also up there, because it was just a random writing exercise that got out of hand, and honestly? I'm here for it. Andddd.... I GUESS I'll put A Valentine's Evening up there as well, because it was the first time I didn't second guess every word I wrote when posting smut. I just... felt it, went for it, wrote it, and it felt really, really good to release some of that into the world lol

WHEW, this was a long one! I'll be tagging @intheinkpot, @shadowdianne, @delirious-comfort, and @16-pennies because I am a curious bastard. But, as always, feel free to treat this as an open tag. Go nuts!

#tag game #this was illuminating in several ways #aka i need to finish my wips #(though that ain't exactly news) #but more importantly #i've written way more than I think I have #and ya know what #it's OK to be proud of that #i am proud of all my children #and i love them all equally #*side eyes Decisions Decisions Decisions* #even you #nara rambles

[scribeofred]

Thanks to @onereyofstarlight for the tag!

 1. What fandoms have you written for?

This is embarrassing but I actually had to look at both FFnet and AO3 because I couldn’t remember all of them. TRON: Legacy, Assassin’s Creed, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, Sherlock, Final Fantasy VII and XV and Kingsglaive, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Merlin, Skyrim, and, of course, Thunderbirds. I have a couple other fandoms that crop up in various wips, including a Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover that I really should finish.

2. How many works do you have on AO3 &/or FFNet?

FFnet has 45, and AO3 has 41. There’s also a couple stories lurking on tumblr, notably a final chapter for Reflection.

3. What are your top 3 fics by kudos on A03 &/or Favs on FFNet?

AO3 dominates in this area, if I can use a word like “dominates” for stories that have less than 125 kudos each haha. Oh well, the numbers don’t matter!

1.     118 kudos on tell the shades apart (my world is black and white)

2.     94 kudos on Reflection

3.     91 kudos on The 43rd Hour

4. Which 3 fics have the least kudos & Favs?

Again on AO3:

1 kudos on I Am You (And You Are Me)

5 kudos on The Dragonborn Chronicles

6 kudos on cynosure

5. Which Fic has the most comments and which has the least?

Reflection has the most at 29 threads, and I Am You (And You Are Me) has the least at zero.

6. Which complete fic do you wish had gotten more attention?

Lodestar, definitely. Sure, it’s for something of a rarepair, but they aren’t that rare, and I just really really like the way the story came together. On the other hand, of course my unfinished Merlin fic has gotten probably the most attention, because that’s just the way it goes, eh?

7. Have you written any crossovers?

None that I’ve published! I have various crossovers lurking in mostly unfinished states, including the aforementioned Tom Swift/Thunderbirds crossover, and an Assassin’s Creed/Thundeerbirds crossover that is very good and I should also finish. There’s an Expanse/Thunderbirds fic lurking in my brain that I may or may not ever commit to paper, who knows. I’ve also very vaguely toyed with a Batman/Thunderbirds crossover, in the sense that “nebulous” is too strong a word for the kind of toying I’ve been doing.

8. What is the craziest fic you’ve written?

I don’t really write crazy or crack or humor in general, so probably the closest thing to “crazy” is On the Lam, which was the result of wanting to throw Scott and Penelope toward an Egyptian stud farm. It ended up being the host for a bad joke about that, courtesy of one @thebaconsandwichofregret, who consistently gives some of the best dialogue advice I’ve ever encountered.

Actually, the true answer is probably a chapter in Glimpses into a Supernova, maybe the one about blood? It seems bonkers when I think back on it now, but I admittedly haven’t read it in many years. Possibly I am misremembering. Glimpses has some weird ones, though.

9. What’s the fic you’ve written with the saddest ending?

It’s a tossup between The Painting and a place where the water touches the sky. The former deals with a prior off-screen death; the latter is (maybe??) an on-screen death. People seemed upset by it, at any rate. I said it was ambiguous!

10. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

“Happy” is probably a matter of perspective? Depends on the overall reading experience and the ending within that context. Either septet or Three Towels and a Tracy, they’re both pretty fluffy overall.

11. What is your smuttiest fic?

protoinstincts, which I completely forgot I wrote and then rediscovered like a year later and realized “hey, this is actually pretty good” and you know what, despite it not being overly spicy, it is pretty good.

12. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate, per se, but someone left a review on Less Than Nothing saying they “didn’t like” that I “wrote the story as a series of drabbles.” Cool, I didn’t write the story for you, random guest reader, and the back button exists, friend 😂 It didn’t bother me on a personal level because I wrote the fic for an audience of one (incidentally, not myself and rather the recipient of a secret santa event), but I was mad because the reviewer had no way of knowing where I was at as a writer, and I know from longtime observation how that kind of comment can crush less experienced or confident writers.

Don’t leave flames, kids, you don’t understand the power your words have. Don’t like, don’t read.

13. What is the nicest comment you’ve received?

The nicest? Goodness. Hmm. I’d have to go hunting to find the nicest, but in recent memory, @ayzrules sent me a couple passages from Spanish texts she’s been studying that reminded her of my writing, and I was honestly so touched by the fact that she even thought to make such comparisons, much less mention them to me. Taking the time to familiarize yourself with someone’s style until you can make comparisons between it and someone else’s work is so much more meaningful to me personally than a basic “Nice story!” or “Loved this!” type of comment ever could be. <3 Ayz <3

14. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of, but I’ve never gone looking on any sort of copycat site or whatever either.

15. How many fics do you have marked as incomplete?

Two. First is The Dragonborn Chronicles, which is a retelling of Skyrim from Lydia’s perspective via her journal, to complement the in-game journal. It’s a slog of a style to write, though, even for someone who loves writing first person and doesn’t really want to write a lot of dialogue, and the outline is huge, and the story will be many times more huge, and just. Some day. Some day.

Second is tell the shades apart (my world is black and white), which has always been unfinished because the outline itself is over seven thousand words and the fully written story would undoubtedly land between 100,000 and 200,000 words, and there’s no way I’m writing that. I’ve always meant to upload the outline, but I got kind of self-conscious about the way I formatted it, and ugh I just haven’t bothered. One day, one day, right?

Moral of the story is I’m intensely a short story writer, and I’ve really found myself settling into that role over the last couple years. Better a clipped, punchy short story than a bloated slog of an epic.

16. Which of the WIPS will most likely be finished first?

Literally no one knows that. I wrote 95% of the observable entropy of a closed system over five years ago, and then I proceeded to pull it out roughly once a year and write and rewrite various endings until last month, which was when I finally figured out how I wanted to end the story. septet, too, languished for about five years before I finally remembered it existed and managed to wrangle an ending. Endings are hard, man. So are those third plot points. Terrible creatures, those, bog me down every time.

17. Which WIP are you looking forward to finishing?

Uh... mm. See. If I were looking forward to finishing any of them, I’d be actively working on them. At this moment, writing fic isn’t exactly high on my list of priorities, but I am also coming off a four-day idle game bender, so I still feel like I haven’t quite reengaged with myself as a living person. Give me another few days and I might have an answer.

(I am always most looking forward to finishing this ridiculous Ignis-drives-the-Audi-R8 fic that’s been languishing in my wips for literal years. As mentioned above, third plot points. Killer, man.)

(oh and also the working-titled the art of murder. Scott and Penny attend a private art auction. Things don’t go to plan. It, too, is stuck at the third plot point. I know, I know I have a problem, shush.)

18. Is there a WIP that you’re considering abandoning?

Any wip has the potential to be revived—this year and the old wips I’ve unearthed, dusted off, finished, and posted have been proof of that. I don’t intentionally permanently abandon anything for that reason, some stories just probably will remain dusty old wips forever because I didn’t actually need or want to write the full story for one reason or another.

19. Which complete fic would you consider rewriting?

Now that’s an interesting question. Hmm! Honestly? None of them. Once I finish a story, I’m not inclined toward rereading it again any time soon, to the point of years in some cases, and I feel like I’ve moved on from the stories I wrote one, two, five, eight years ago in the actual writing sense. They’re finished stories, and on top of that are relics of their time, which doesn’t mean the stories don’t have any ongoing significance on a reading level—I just don’t have any interest in rewriting those particular stories. I’ve gotten them out of my head, to the point of not remembering at least a third of them on demand anymore, and I don’t have any desire to “retell” those exact stories. I do tend to tighten the wording and fix perceived errors/weaknesses whenever I do end up rereading an old story, and I usually silently update the AO3 version if I make any significant changes because AO3 makes it a breeze to update a posted fic. I might do FFnet too if I’m feeling up to it or have the time.

20. Which complete fic is your favourite?

Once upon a time I would’ve said Holding On, but I honestly find it kind of unbearably melodramatic now. the observable entropy of a closed system is equally melodramatic, as it was written in the same era, but at least it has the excuse of being told in second person and via a style that is a half step away from being poetry. Possibly I will reread it in a few years and find it equally obnoxious and overly dramatic, but it received some shockingly positive comments, which I wasn’t expecting at ALL, and I’ve been honestly blown away by the amount of praise it’s received. <3 to everyone who’s said anything about it!

21. What’s your total published word count?

141,000 on AO3, 160,000 on FFnet, but technically the light of my life SS wrote fifty thousand words of each. It’s too late for math.

 I tag @velkynkarma, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @writtenbyrain, @thebaconsandwichofregret, and anyone else who wants to play!

#tag games

[sheehan-sidhe]

1. What's your favourite kind of fic to write.

Probably mutual pining but I've recently realised I have a knack for smut 🤭

2. What fic of your was the hardest to write?

Probably one of the hundreds I left unfinished. I'm undecided between "The Most Precious Thing In The Universe" (DW) and "As long as the sea is bound to wash upon the sand" (mdzs daemon au) which wasn't hard per se but so long it was still harrowing.

3. Which was the easiest?

Maybe one of my DW oneshots.

4. Favourite story you've ever written?

As long as the sea is bound to wash upon the sand, 100%.

5. Do you write from start to finish or do you hop around?

Start to finish. I might only draft some scenes if I fear I could get stuck on them or just I don't want to write them atm.

6. Have you ever deleted a published fic?

No.

7. What's the best writing advice you've ever received?

After you've written your chapter, copy it on a new sheet and type it all over again instead of just correcting it. It will improve 100%.

8. What's the worst?

Do people give bad advice? I think it depends on what works for you.

9. Have you ever collabed with a another writer?

Yes! We wrote a comic crackfic with final fantasy's characters. Soooo many years ago. It was hilarious.

10. How many WIPs do you have right now?

So. TECHNICALLY one, since I'm finishing writing "As long as the sea is bound to wash upon the sand". If we consider two fics I have on hiatus... then three. But I have like 6 plot bunnies running wildly in my head atm.

11. Story you are most proud of?

Maybe "I've hungered for your touch". My first smut. My first fic in English. And a lot of people liked it ❤

12. Favourite story of another author?

I'm going to be here all day!!! There is so many... I'll focus on mdzs fic since I've been reading those lately (bc you have NO idea of the number of fic I've read in my life). Beneath six layers of silk by darkredloveknot; Maybe you're the reason by clearpearls; no new age by everythingispoetry; Survival by jinko. And so much more. There are so many talented author out there 😭

13. Best review you've ever gotten?

"GUH. Excuse me while I compose myself.

... ok I’m good now.

WOW, this was amazing. You described LWJ’s headspace so vividly. And the praise kink *chef’s kiss* Incredible. 10/10. This part here:

Lan Wangji quivers at the praise. “Am I still good?”

BROKE me 🥺 I am SO WEAK for a Lan Zhan with a praise kink and this was so so good.

And Wei Wuxian was such a good dom. So sweet and gentle. He loves his husband so much 😭

Thank you for this lovely fic. And thank you also for contributing to the noble cause that is sub!bottom!LWJ."

By Milk_Tea_Fantasy on my fic "I've Hungered For Your Touch"

14. Worst review you ever gotten.

Every comment was out of love, so no it doesn't apply.

15. If you could write the sequel or prequel to a fic currently on AO3 other than your own, which fic would it be?

Listen. It's hard enough writing my own fics. Should I write someone else's? But of I could FORCE a writer to finish their own stories it would be "Maybe you're the Reason" by clearpearls, the "Yin and Yang" series by Milk_Tea_Fantasy, "Survival" and "Power Addict" by Jinko.

16. Do you reread your own stories?

Generally, no.

17. Do you want to be published some day?

First I should write something that is not fanfic.

18. Favourite character to write?

LAN WANGJI.

19. Least favourite character to write?

Maybe Jiang Cheng. I don't know.

20. Do you set yourself deadlines or goals?

Write everyday. One line is enough. But everyday.

21. Name three favourite fic writers.

@tierfal @jinkohhh @loquaciousquark

22. Is there a trope you've never written, but want to?

Omegaverse. Soulmate AU. Time Travel.

Listen, I've been back to the writing scene only recently. There's a lot of things I still need to write.

23. Is there a trope you will never write?

MPREG.

24. How long have you been a writer? I think I started when I was in middle school. I wrote occasionally up to 2010 more or less... 10 years of hiatus and now I'm back all thanks to The Untamed.

25. What/who are some influences on your writing?

Tierfal writing style, for sure. And all the bottom!sub!lwj I read shaped the way I write Lan Wangji.

26. Hardest part of writing?

Finding a way to make the sentences flow smoothly.

27. Easiest part of writing?

Is there an easy part? Deciding what should happen, probably.

28. Best part of writing a fic?

Seeing your vision coming to life.

29. Share the plot of a WIP you haven't published yet.

The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi Daemon AU. Starting from the school days and questioning what can influence a Daemon settling in their final form. It's a drama retelling where the Daemons save the day. Featuring: pining Lan Wangji.

30. Tell us something unique that you bring to all your stories.

I... don't know? 😅

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #fanfic #fan fic #fan fiction #wrap up #doctor who #2020 fic writer wrap-up