#also sophie still not knowing its kate and kissing her is just....

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Willow Bark - Epilogue I: The Next Birthday

Rated: G Word count: 1.5k

Day 4 Epilogue II Masterpost

Summary: Benedict gives a toast at his first birthday after his illness.

Benedict had suspected something covert in the lead up to his birthday. Whenever it came up in conversation Sophie scrunched her nose in that way that betrayed her excitement, and Anthony had been far too blase, even for Anthony, when he extended the invitation to join the family at Aubrey Hall. But it was the scale of their scheming that succeeded in bowling him over when he crossed the threshold of his family home.

Everyone. Every person who was or had ever been dear to his heart was gathered to celebrate him. His entire family of course, immediate and extended, but also his friends. Lads from Cambridge, classmates from the Academy, the entire retinue of artists who had mentored him, worked alongside him, even competed with him for gallery space. From the scrappy unpatroned bohemians up to the veritable who’s who of England’s masters. The Granvilles, the Mondrichs, the Crabtrees, even Madame Delacroix was there, though that should not have been a surprise given how close she was with Sophie. People had traveled from Scotland, France, and as far away as Prussia, with his in-laws Prince Friedrich and Princess Edwina lending a royal air to the occasion. It was an event larger and grander than his wedding, with so many guests that they spilled through room after room and hall after hall.

He held tightly to Sophie as they walked through the doors together. His illness was two months past but he still felt a lingering weakness from time to time. Though he knew even if he had been in full health, he would still have staggered under the overwhelming feelings of his heart. Sophie didn’t have to bolster him for long because he was immediately enveloped, passed into countless embraces one after the other, being kissed on the cheek and clapped on the back until he grew dizzy. There would never be enough time to speak to each person as he wished to, so when everyone gathered as best they could in the music room, packed like sardines around the seated Bridgerton family, he knew that he must address everyone jointly and make his statement one of significance.

Violet ushered him and Sophie to join Anthony and Kate on a sofa, then initiated the chain of toasts made in his honor. Half a dozen of his dearest stepped forward, including Anthony himself, praising, joking and reminiscing. None of them directly acknowledged the reason why this party was exceptional, but each of them grew misty-eyed as they wished him many more years of health and prosperity. Phillip and Eloise, just returned from their honeymoon, stood arm in arm directly across from him. Neither of them volunteered their sentiments, but they never broke their gaze and it communicated everything. Sophie sat beside him, beaming. When she was not dabbing at her tears her hands were wound with his or smoothing across her rounded stomach. Benedict had never felt such a concentration of love in all its forms cushioning him on every side. It was surreal, euphoric, and it guided him to precisely what he wanted to say.

When Anthony resumed his seat between Kate and Sophie, Benedict stood, accepting a fresh glass of champagne from a footman. Clearing his throat he surveyed the room, each face so familiar, each relationship so treasured, all eyes on him. 

“I have had many birthdays in my life. Most of them much more wild than simply gathering at home, I assure you.” The rippling laughter settled him into place. “But I already know that this will be the one I cherish most of all. I want to thank each of you for being here. For the distances you have traveled and for your affection and wishes. I am truly, truly moved.”

He paused. His soul would only allow him to say the unadulterated truth of everything he had been through and everything he was grateful for. “The only good things visited upon me by my recent illness were perspective and the time to analyze it. To try to put it into words. You’ll have to forgive my artistic disposition, with which I know you are all familiar.” Another chuckle skittered among the guests. “But at the risk of sounding trite…” He stared off for a moment, ensuring he phrased it precisely. “At the end…the poets and authors are right. You are just left hoping that you have sufficiently loved everyone who is dear to you. That you have brought them more joy than pain. And there is a longing, not for your own sake but for theirs, that you had more time to show them your love.”

He glanced at his mother who was weeping openly, soothed by Daphne and Francesca who also had tears in their eyes. A hush had gathered, faces falling into contemplation.

He took a steadying breath. “And I have blessedly been granted that time. So I say to you, all of you: you have my love.” He raised his glass and swept it toward each cluster of guests in turn. “My friends, my fellow artists - could we call ourselves friends?” His chums snickered at that. “My inordinately enormous family, and all those who might as well be family. You have my enduring love.”

Then he turned to the pair across from him. “In particular our newlyweds, my sister Eloise and her husband, Sir Phillip Crane. Though the circumstances of our first meeting were perhaps a bit unconventional in that he found my hands around his throat…” More laughter. “By God, I’m grateful to have met such a man and to have him be the one to care for a most beloved sister.” Eloise’s eyes swam, her mouth drawn tight as it always was when she fought to hide her feelings. Benedict gave her a warm grin then turned to Phillip. “Dire times strip away all pretense and compel us to show our true character. And your character, Sir Phillip, is beyond reproach. Someday I will ensure you know the extent of my gratitude to you.”

Phillip returned a small smile and bowed his head, blushing.

Benedict raised his glass. “To Phillip and Eloise.”

A chorus of voices repeated their names and all glasses were raised and sipped. Eloise’s arm tightened around Phillip’s and she leaned into him, the picture of a contented wife. Something Benedict never expected he would see.

Buoyed by the sea of joyful faces, he pressed on. “Not to be overlooked, there are two other individuals who deserve special thanks for today, and for more than I can ever acknowledge or repay. They are the ones who, at different times throughout my life, have shared in my greatest joys, helped me overcome my most daunting challenges, kept my deepest secrets…”

He paused, seeming to debate his next words. “And…held me in my recent, darkest days.”

Sophie, who had been smiling up at her husband throughout his speech, felt a stone lodge in her throat. She turned to look at Anthony. He was rigid, his jaw locked as his eyes met hers. Beside him Kate had intertwined their arms. Sophie reached out and clasped his free hand, holding it tightly as they both looked back at Benedict.

“They are of course my elder brother Anthony, the Viscount Bridgerton. And my wife, the incomparable Sophia Bridgerton.” He gestured to each of them in turn, eyes full of love, then continued, his voice wavering, “The two fragments of my soul that exist outside myself.” 

Sophie felt the breath leave her lungs and began to cry in earnest. She and Anthony gripped each other’s hands fiercely. She couldn’t bear to look back at him. 

Chewing his lip, Benedict lowered his eyes. “And without whose company, I am certain I would not have pulled through and been speaking to you today.”

Instinctively Sophie reached up and grasped Benedict’s free hand, linking a chain between the brothers. He gave her a small smile and gentle squeeze. 

“So do not toast only to me. Toast to every part of me.” Tears streamed freely down Sophie’s face while Anthony sat frozen, turning crimson as he tried to keep his feelings in check. Never breaking his gaze on them, Benedict raised his glass. “To Anthony and Sophie.”

Again the room echoed their names as everyone cheered and drank. The three of them were looking at one another so fixedly, they did not see how many handkerchiefs had been produced, nor how many ladies hid their streaming faces behind their fans.

After taking his sip of champagne, Benedict returned to his wife’s side. Releasing her hold on Anthony, she brought a trembling hand to her husband’s face and kissed him softly. He could read her heart in her eyes, glittering with tears, telling him everything she could never manage to say aloud. Beside them they found Kate kissing Anthony in much the same way, smiling brightly.

Anthony exhaled loudly, his face cooling back to its normal color before he turned and locked eyes with his brother. They reached out to each other simultaneously, clasping their hands just in front of Sophie’s precious bump. Anthony’s jaw flexed again as he barely managed to stave off all the emotions fighting for display. Sophie gently placed her hands around both of theirs and the three of them inclined toward each other for just a moment. A moment in which Benedict’s collective soul rejoiced, wrapped in the warmth of family, of hope, and of undying love.

Tagging: @angels17324 @bridgertontess @broooookiecrisp @secretagentbucky @musicismyoxygen84 @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @hopepaigeturner @heeyyyou

#bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benophie #benophie fanfiction #sickfic #fluff and feels #angst with a happy ending #family fluff #bridgerton family

[bluerosejuliet]

In the Bridgerton Isekai AU you hinted the the thief the thief planned a spin-off series for the original leads so does that mean that the Bridgertons were able to stop the curse? And how does Polin finally get together? Like do they sit down and talk? Was there a BridgertonTM grand romantic gesture?? And speaking of will the Bridgertons know that the spouse HAVE died multiple times? How would they react to that?

or what if one day Pen notices the original lovers acting weird and she thinks its because the thief is gearing up to rewrite the timeline and spirals into a panick attack (along with the rest of the spouses)? Imagine the pure angst, chaos and Bridgerton level of drama that would ensue because DAMN IT they are NOT losing their soulmates!

Lol im sl sorry for cramming all these questions

Cram away! I honestly love getting questions, asks, and prompts so it's no trouble!

Regarding the spin off series, they don't really realize this until other characters suddenly come in and start flirting with their future spouse! And it's also important to remember the isekai Bridgerton's are not aware of the curse. They are only familiar with the plot of the books that the thief published (the second timeline). They are aware they are in a universe inside a book. The spouses are not but they have memories (that the only gradually start remembering) of Lady Danbury's original storyline but all the times they tried to fight against the fractured timeline. NEITHER IS AWARE THERE IS A THIEF. The Bridgertons never knew the original author was Lady Danbury while the spouses don't know they are in a book and believe the first timeline to have been something made up as CLEARLY the universe does not want them together!

The Bridgertons will start to piece together that perhaps the author stole the original story when they realize their spouses have memories of a different timeline that is nothing like the books! Which includes them dying. This realization comes when Daphne, Anthony, and Benedict all realize their spouses have been having nightmares about dying. Not every night but Daphne sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night to find Simon counting the fingers on her left hand, pressing a kiss against her wedding ring. Or how Kate will wake up some nights gasping for air and coughing, as if she hadn't been able to breath. Or how Sophie will sometimes wake up clutching her stomach in pain. This of course worries their respective Bridgerton and they eventually glean from what their spouses tell them that their nightmares involve dying.

Benedict just casually mentions it during tea with the older siblings and is surprised to hear the other spouses have been having similar dreams. This leads them to thinking that something else is going on.

Meanwhile, Simon, Kate, and Sophie have realized the others remember parts of what happened but the Bridgertons do not. They all swear not to mention anything to them because they know how painful it was for them to live through their deaths again and again and if this is burden they must bear so their beloved Bridgerton does not suffer so be it. However, it's clear something is going on with Penelope. At times she appears to be aware of what is going on around her but then they'll see when the "fog" has taken control of her. Eventually they are able to get Penelope alone and she sobs, relieved that they are okay and happy but fearful because it's hard to be talking to someone and then blackout before coming back to herself. Thus the spouses try to figure out what triggers "the fog" to take over Penelope and what snaps her back to reality.

However, the feel like the appearance of new lords and ladies (odd that they have never heard of them before) starting appearing around the time Penelope has be fog episodes.

Everything will work out and then they realize they still have to deal with the last four Bridgertons and their spouses though Eloise and Francesca have their memories.

It'll all work out though!

Thanks for the ask!

#bridgerton #bridgerton au #bridgerton isekai au #asks and answers

[the-other-art-blog]

I've never interacted with the Bridgerton fandom before but I lurk sometimes and I agree with you. Since they planted the seed for a potential queer relationship for Benedict, I think they literally don't know where to go/what to do with it. I know it sounds dumb but I think they really don't know what to do, or if they do and go for a queer relationship, they're struggling really hard to make it work as something Benedict can be open with in society. I've been a historical romance reader for a few years now and the few queers love stories I read were not displayed for the entire society to see. Benedict could not dance with a man or kiss him in public and since queerness has already been shown as something to experience in the shadows, it seems a very big thing for Benedict to tackle for his arc, do I make sense? Since it's all about doing what he want and be himself without society caring, it ticks the box but they would have to have very good writing without make it like Benedict's relationship could end homophobia for everyone bc it's a bit much for a systemic issue. If he can't be out in the open, what is the point of it? That's why I think they don't say a thing about Benedict or Sophie, I think they've not thrown out the idea of a bisexual or gay love story yet but they're not sure what to do and they can't talk about Sophie all the time to then have someone else be Benedict's love interest. Personally I wouldn't be mad if Sophie was a man but I don't really trust the writers at this very moment. I think being a historical romance reader is making me a disservice here. I don't mind changes at all, I know how things are written in the media but I know what tropes I do and don't like and in making changes like they did in season 2, they made the characters do things that makes sense in a way but also make them borderline unlikeable for me and if I don't like them or root for them in my historical romance, it's not good. It's growing into it's own thing, its own drama and I love drama, Downton Abbey is one of my fav shows and it's dramatic as fuck. It just feels like they've been baiting romance lovers with the first season being very much like a historical romance book in its essence and now their writing choices are throwing me off a little bit. I do still trust them with Polin, if they did it so well for Anthony I know they can do it again. But Benedict? For some reason I'm not so sure. I care and ramble too much lol and some of what I said is obviously a "me" problem but yeah

I disagree, anon. I think they know exactly what they should do with Benedict. JQ may have ceded a lot, but she must have made guaranteed her endgame couples. From a business POV, it doesn't make sense to tell a completely different story from the one in the books. Yes, Kanthony was very different, but they're still Kate and Anthony, and traits of their book counterparts are in the series. Also, I understand that they couldn't have two consecutive seasons with the same storyline: we got caught so we had to marry and learned to love each other along the way. Even JQ said so.

So, I'm sure the production knows they have to cast Sophie and tell the story. The problem is that a section of the fandom (notably not a lot of benophie fans) and the press is pushing a gay storyline exclusively for Benedict! The reason why they don’t mention Sophie is because they don’t want to lose those viewers. They didn’t expect that kind of reaction from the fans in s1. CVD said that that was not what they intended at all. And now they have to deal with it. I think they are hoping those demands died out in the future.

But at the same time, they are trying to emphasize that Benedict is straight. He was in the art school, he could have seen a male model, but no. He saw Tessa and quickly slept with her. I think we are gonna see Benedict with other women in s3.

#brigerton #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #benophie

[katesource]

I get it. I’ll keep my distance. 

#batwoman #batwoman spoilers #kate kane #batwomanedit #katekaneedit #kate x sophie #1x13 #FUCKINY FINALLY! #this was... #everything I needed #also sophie still not knowing its kate and kissing her is just.... #creation #*

[gaywarriorgirls]

So with all this corona stuff going on. I’m bored out of my mind. And I just got new software for digital art, and like writing n stuff. SO I would love it if you all would send me ideas for drawings, digital art, photoshop ideas, fic prompts, fic ideas in general, or just ask me questions. I would love to get in touch with y’all and share my work 😌🥺

#coronavirus #clexa #clexa fandom #supercorp #avalance #also sophie still not knowing its kate and kissing her is just.... #kate kane #batwoman #sophie moore #batmoore #supergirl #the 100 #lexadeservedbetter #fan art #avengers #send me stuff #ill draw anything #ill write anything #if you're interested #please #thanks #i love you #i am clexa trash #im gay bye

[thekatebridgerton]

Men in Bridgerton + the jealously trope

I felt like talking about my favorite fanfic trope today: the widely famous “someone who actually has a chance of attracting the woman I love, is flirting with her” jealousy trope scenario. 

From most likely to kill a man, to least likely lets start with the obvious. 

1) Colin: most likely to fly off the handle, throw the offending garbage out the window and get away with murder. For some reason it’s been a general consensus along all the people I know that the Bridgerton spouse most likely to kill a bch because he was jealous of anyone making a move on Penelope. is Colin. Since it took him so long to realize he had feelings for her, the idea that she could like someone else would make him murder someone. so beware dear reader. I could write a whole eassay on why Colin is the most susceptible to jealousy. Do. not. touch. HIS WIFE

2) Benedict: Another lose cannon, this guy looks like a easygoing himbo. but if he say someone trying to flirt with Sophie, he would also be driven to violence, not outright murder, but I think very serious maiming and broken limbs with no hope of recovery, Benedict spent two years fixated on this one woman, he does not like to share, she is sunshine incarnate and he is well aware that if Sophie wants, she CAN leave him if she found a better guy. So nope. not going to risk it.  

3) Simon: He wouldn’t actually kill the idiot who dares make a move on Daphne, but he will destroy that bch socially, because he’s a Duke and he can get away with it and nobody will care, he’s a Duke. she’s his Daphne, shoo, go away, she’s his Duchess.

4) Anthony: He would not be as murderous as Colin and lets face it he’s a terrible shot if he wanted to kill whoever tried flirting with Kate, but there would be a good set of punches and hurtful insults hurled at the idiot who had the audacity of trying to get into Kate’s pants and then a jealous Anthony would just hire people to discreetly get his rivals in love out of the way while he distracts  Kate so she doesn’t notice him glaring daggers at every man who tries to flirt with her. Cannon Anthony thought for exactly one second that Kate dating another man might be a good idea and the next thing he knew he was in a library kissing her. So yeah his tactic is just pulling Kate out of the vicinity of his potential rivals and showing her that HE’S the superior option. 

5) Gregory: I feel like Gregory should be higher up this list considering he did actually stop a wedding for love. But Gregory’s jealous bone is more restrained. I mean yeah, he’d be angry at anyone trying to flirt with Lucy and would make no effort to hide it, but also, he wouldn’t resort to that much violence. Gregory would most likely just put the fear of the Bridgerton name and connections into the bch who dared. But he’d never actually maim someone out of jealousy. Maybe just a few punches and a well placed ‘Don’t ever let me see you near Lucy ever again’ ‘but you’re not dating” ‘I still don’t like you! go away, come Lucy, pay attention to me’

6) Gareth: He would get angry at someone flirting with Hyacinth, but he’d be very civilized about it and you’d barely notice the simmering rage. He actually wouldn’t do much about it other than having a talk with Hyacinth later about that person’s true intentions. 

7) Michael: Although he canonically got into a fistfight defending Francesca’s honor from men taking vulgarities about her? (if it’s not cannon, its fannon.) We all know Michael is super secure in his hotness and masculinity, he’s also a former rake and he got to Francesca by madly flirting with her and later outright seducing her into bed with him and would not take kindly to any other dude trying out his formula, especially not with Francesca. the love of his life. But He’s #7 because I don’t see Michael as much of a jealous person, he’s too much of a devil to worry about any man trying to steal Francesca away. And he already went trough that with John’s ghost. 

8) Phillip: Bless his soul the least jealous of all spouses because he doesn’t think he’s that much of a catch. If Phillip and Eloise had met in a ballroom in London, this guy would still be thanking his lucky stars that she accepted to have a conversation with him in the first place. He knows she had options, that they were better than him and he’s under no assumption that those options disappeared just because Eloise miraculously fell inlove with him. Of course he wouldn’t want Eloise to ever leave him for another guy who is better at flirting than him, but he’s the type to swallow his feelings, not do anything about it, and later look for her to talk about his jealousy. As much as I’d like to see my favorite plant daddy pull a ‘she’s mine’ move for Eloise. He’s more the type to walk up, completely ignore the other guy, take her hand and say something like “Excuse me but do you want to dance Eloise? I think this song sounds nice” and then later explain that he was jealous.

So what do you think guys? do you agree with me? who should have been higher? or lower in the ranking. This is just my opinion 

ant that’s the tea for today

#bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #colin bridgerton #benedict bridgerton #To Sir Phillip With Love #phillip crane #Simon Basset #Gregory Bridgerton #jealousy trope

[newtonsheffield]

Things are getting ✨spicy✨ and all of us are here👏 for 👏it👏!

...don't be shy, do gods work, open up your vault and gift us spicy benedict and sophie😯😌

(If you are comfortable with that of course! We will take anything you are willing to give☺️💕)

Hello! Hello! Hello! 

I know you actually sent this last week but things probably got a little... spicier this morning between Kate and Anthony over here if anyone missed it, and like... Not sure if you guys would be interested in Spicy Sunday Which may be a new segment coming to this blog??? depending on the reaction to these posts I suppose! 

Anon also asked: Have you got any drabbles or headcanons about Ben and Sophie’s first time? And the first time Ben sees where Sophie lives and vise versa and their reactions to it? 😍

Okay So, here I go, doing God’s work I suppose, though I’m not sure this is what he intends me to do with my life, it is what I’m doing. 

Sophie Beckett wasn’t an idiot, she knew exactly what she was implying when She’d stood at the end of her third date with Benedict and asked if he had plans or if he was just going home. And his eyes had widened with surprise when he’d caught her implication but clearly wanting to be sure when he’d said he was just going home. And she knew exactly what she was asking when she said  “Would it be okay if I joined you?” She was nearly 27 years old, she knew exactly what she’d been implying. And Still Benedict was watching her carefully, the entire way back to his house. As though he thought she would sprint away from him the moment she opened the car door. And maybe that was the reason she’d summoned all of her courage to ask for it in the first place. The soft little looks he’d been giving her all afternoon, as though he couldn’t genuinely believe that she’d chosen to spend her time with him. 

He’d cleared his throat awkwardly when they’d gotten to his house, which was startling large compared to her own. With its warm rustic feel and it’s slightly scratched floorboards and pictures plastered all over the walls. So many pictures she couldn’t help herself from edging a little closer to look. And she recognised Anthony smiling brightly with Kate tucked on his lap, her face tucked into his neck. And Violet and a man who could only have been Benedict’s father, three tiny boys between them. And the joy and warmth radiating from his house  seemed so right, So inherently Ben, that her breath had caught in her throat. 

“Sophie, I don’t want you to think I had any expectations of today. I know what people say about third dates but ... umm... you know I want you... no not want you... um... just because we’re here doesn’t mean we have to do anything.. Shit...” Benedict was stuttering out and her heart swelled with affection for this man who looked like he was about to pass out. And maybe it was that more than anything that made her stand on her toes and seal their lips together, the fact that he truly had wanted to spend time with her. No expectations of anything else, that made her want to give him everything. 

“Benedict,” Sophie said when she pulled back after several moments, her voice rough as she steeled herself to be brave enough to take what she wanted for the second time in her life  “ I really want you to kiss me, and then I want you to take me to your bedroom. Would that be alright?” And his eyes had darkened and he’d pulled her fiercely against him, their lips meeting, teeth clashing in a way that had heat building quickly in her stomach and jesus christ his hands were everywhere and she stopped thinking altogether when he nudged her softly until her back hit the hall way wall. And his lips were on her neck and she could barely catch her breath at all when he whispered “Oh but I’m very curious about the acoustics in this hallway Sophie.” as his hand slid further and further up her thigh, fumbling for the button of her shorts and when she came apart for him moments later she barely had it in her to protest at all when he removed his hands, tossed her over his shoulder as though she weighed nothing at all, and carried her to his bedroom. 

And when he groaned her own name again and again in her ear as they moved in sync she had to admit 2 things. 

She’d never liked her name as much as she did when it was wrenched from his chest like it was the only word Benedict remembered how to say 

The acoustics in the hallway had been a little better 

I repeat for the second time today: Kill me.       

#bridgerton and sons au #Benophie #benedict bridgerton #sophie beckett #sophie deserves everything good and i'm gonna give them to her in this au tbh #molly’s asks and answers #spicy sunday 🌶

[youngerdrgrey]

relax (this is private, too) // a Mary/Ryan oneshot

about: In a post-2x13 world, Mary welcomes Sophie to the Bat Team, and Sophie derails the conversation with an observation.

“It’s a tale as old as time. ‘Straight’ girl meets somebody that she just has to know, wants to spend all her time with her, starts wearing her clothes….” Sophie and Mary both look down at the color-block jacket that Mary’s wearing — Ryan’s color-block jacket. But Mary couldn’t possibly have a crush on Ryan… could she? + read on ao3

notes: Surprise! Truly, none probably more surprised than me. One moment I'm saying that I probably won't write for a bit, and the next I'm writing this because we really didn't talk enough about Mary saying, "Okay, that's kind of sexy" over the hot shot moment. (As a note, yes, platonic, intimate friendships between women are important. At this moment, though, let's run the tape back with Mary who is very confused.)

🦇

“Sit, sit, sit.” Mary leads Sophie through the loft to the living room. “You must have questions.”

Sophie does sit — on the chair this time, which leaves the couch open for Mary. It’s a slightly different seating arrangement than they had yesterday. There’s definitely a lot less attitude and tension here, but then again, it is only Mary and Sophie right now. Unless Ryan’s patrol goes poorly, but it probably won’t. Besides, Mary had texted Ryan about wanting some one-on-one time to suss Sophie out. Sophie’s a great person, but she might need to come around to Ryan wearing the suit.

Mary uncorks the wine bottle on the coffee table and gives a generous pour into the two stemless glasses. It’s a rosè, which is the perfect drink for a casual conversation. It’s light, airy, and has absolutely no chance of worms or poison in the bottom.

Sophie eyes her glass a moment before picking it up anyway. “Honestly?” She chuckles. “I have less questions now.”

“Really?” Mary settles back into the couch. “Because I won’t judge you if you do. It’s a lot to take in.” Mary’d wanted to rip the suit right off of Ryan the first time that she saw Ryan in it. Granted, at the time, they’d still been trying to find Kate, and a stranger was wearing Mary’s sister’s secret vigilante costume.

Sophie swirls her glass. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still processing the Ryan Wilder of it all, but… well, it all makes sense now.” She leans forward, her elbows finding the tops of her knees as she pitches towards Mary. “Before last week, I couldn’t understand why Ryan was suddenly everywhere. Sure, she worked at the bar, but then you were roommates out of nowhere. You went from zero to….” Sophie snorts into her wine glass.

Mary laughs too, but she doesn’t quite get why. It’s like they’re playing Never Have I Ever all over again. “Zero to what? I want in on the joke.”

Sophie shakes her head though. Her eyebrows pull together like she’s still puzzling something. Then she gives in, and her voice still has a hint of that humor as she finishes, “Zero to U-haul.” Mary chokes on the air in her lungs. Sophie raises her glass in a silent toast. “So, the Batwoman thing — makes a lot more sense than you suddenly having a girlfriend.”

Mary’s cheeks flush. Leave it to the lesbian to assume Mary’s hiding her sexuality. “A secret girlfriend is much more your speed.” Wait, is that rude? “Uh, no offense.”

Sophie takes a swig of wine. “None taken. You’re right. So, tell me more about working with Ryan.”

Mary smiles. This, she can do. She could talk about Ryan for hours. “She’s amazing. I mean, you know, you’ve seen her. She totally fills out the suit. Like it suits her and not the other way around. You’d think that it wouldn’t, but she really makes it her own.”

“Right, with the wig.”

“With everything!” Mary drinks some more. “She really gets this city, you know? Everything we’re doing with the Center is all Ryan’s idea. She came up with the plan, and she has these rules that we follow as the Bat Team! No killing, no working with Crows — again, no offense. Er, well,” Mary tilts her head to the side, “some offense. You guys have an awful track record at this point.”

Sophie takes another drink. “So you tell me.”

“But we also do team building exercises. It’s mostly us playing Taboo, and Luke getting really tired of us. Ryan’s so great. It’s like we don’t even have to say anything to know what the other is thinking. And even though she’s the boss, and she’s the leader, it’s like we’re really working side by side to make Gotham the place we always wanted it to be. The Center’s only the start. She has ideas about upgraded transitional shelters for people experiencing homelessness, and expanding the clinic if we get enough resources. She listened to my whole pitch about what we would need to do it, and asked questions, and— what?”

Sophie’s staring at Mary. Staring hard, but soft at the same time.

Mary swipes a hand across her cheek. “Is something on my face?”

Sophie shakes her head. “No, it’s nothing.” She drinks again, but her brows stay furrowed.

“Sophie, come on. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” Maybe hearing about all the good that Ryan wants is too much for Sophie right now. Mary can wait. It’s not like she’ll run out of good stuff to say.

“It’s the way you talk about her,” Sophie says finally. That softness is there again. A gentle touch in her voice. “Between that and your ‘kinda sexy’ comment yesterday… I don’t know, Mary, it just sounds like you have a crush.”

“A crush?” Mary repeats. “On Ryan?” She scoffs. “Hate to break it to you, Sophie, but I am straight. Like so straight. Like—”

Sophie puts her hands up in a silent casual defense. She drops them a moment later. “You don’t have to convince me. I believe you.”

“Thank you!” Mary flops back into the couch. Her head bounces just a bit on the top of it. Her curls smush, and she sinks down so that the thought can hopefully follow it out of her head.

She knows what sexy is. She can identify that something could be attractive without actually being attracted to said thing. There are all the different types of attraction. She ran a course on gender and sexuality for the doctors and volunteers at her clinic to make sure that everyone was on the same page in how to properly treat people that the medical field did not always regard with respect. She would know if she had a crush on Ryan.

Wouldn’t she?

Sophie sets her wine onto the coffee table. “It’s a tale as old as time. ‘Straight’ girl meets somebody that she just has to know, wants to spend all her time with her, starts wearing her clothes….” Sophie and Mary both look down at the color-block jacket that Mary’s wearing — Ryan’s color-block jacket.

“Okay, but we live together,” Mary reasons. Roommates borrow each other’s clothes. It’s not like she’s taking her crush’s jacket so that she has an excuse to see Ryan again. She can see Ryan whenever she wants. She does see Ryan whenever she wants. She can’t even count the number of times she’s come back from an awful shift, walked into Ryan’s room, and flopped down onto the bed beside her.

Her bed’s not softer than Mary’s. Mary obviously cared a lot more about her rest than Kate did, so Mary’s mattress is a dream. But Ryan’s room smells like a dialed down greenhouse. It smells alive and hopeful and earthy in a way that instantly calms Mary down. And when Mary’s having a really rough day, Ryan will put a pillow in her lap and run her hands through Mary’s hair until she stops seeing whatever gruesome wounds that she’s spent the last few hours dealing with. That’s not a crush. That’s… comfort. Intimacy. A deep, deep starvation for physical touch after a lifetime of parental neglect.

Friends can be affectionate. Friends can want to be close to each other.

She wants to be close to Luke. And to Sophie! She would love to curl up next to Sophie right now. Though, the more that Mary thinks about curling up with Sophie, the more she recognizes that it wouldn’t be the same as cozying up to Ryan. Ryan’s basically her same size. She’s got this warmth that radiates from her cheeks and her chest, and she hums songs and asks Mary to guess which song it is. Mary’s awful at this game, by the way. She usually ends up giving up, or drifting off to sleep while Ryan’s clearly picking songs that Mary — as someone who did not grow up in a Black household — did not grow up with.

(The one time Mary used that as a defense, Ryan had pointed out that Ryan didn’t grow up in a Black household either. Ryan grew up in a mismatch of cultures and identities in group homes before Mama Cora found her in high school. They’d made up for lost time with plenty of Miss Anita Baker and all the classics that Ryan had missed out on. The rest of Ryan’s cultural education came from other Black students and friends who’d either clowned her for not knowing a reference, or rushed to show her what their parents told them. It hadn’t been as simple as a natural osmosis for Ryan to feel at home with some of the cultural references around her.)

(Mary had whispered that it wasn’t easy for her either. Not with her mom working all the time and the rest of her Korean-American family out of reach. “There weren’t many Korean people in Gotham.” An understatement, but Ryan had leaned down and pressed a kiss to the crown of Mary’s head to comfort her. Sadness Mary hadn’t even known was still there had welled up. Liquified into tears that slipped onto Ryan’s pillow.)

(“It was—” Her breath had caught in her throat. The tears smeared her vision, which was fine, since all she could see from this angle were Ryan’s plants by the window anyway. “It was so lonely sometimes. And my dad…. With Kate… And Alice….” She couldn’t finish a single sentence. All the tears turned to sobs, and the sobs turned into this soul-clenching pressure in her chest.)

(Ryan had curled around Mary then. An arm found its way under Mary’s knees and softly tugged her into a tighter ball in Ryan’s lap. Ryan rocked them, whispered again and again, “It’s okay. Let it out. I got you. I’m here, Mary. I’m here.”)

Mary gulps now. “Ryan is….” She’s Mary’s roommate. Mary’s best friend. She’s the one who got Mary through losing Kate and who welcomed Mary onto the Bat Team. She’s the first person Mary calls whenever anything happens and literally the only person Mary could entrust The Hold Up to. She’s Batwoman, and…. And Mary has no idea what she would do without Ryan at this point. But it’s not like Mary wants to kiss Ryan. Just look at Ryan.

Look at Ryan in those ridiculous flannel shirts. She has twelve. Not including jackets. And she’s a woman, which is not Mary’s type. Mary hasn’t been super successful with her previous type, but they definitely have certain characteristics that Ryan does not. They don’t walk around in fluffy robes that they bought to spite their ex-girlfriends, or wake up super early after a late shift to use the workout bike that Mary still has never actually tried riding. They don’t make Mary sweet potato pancakes and encourage her to try out cooking on her off nights for stress relief. They don’t make her feel like home. They don’t…. Shit.

The lowest groan that Mary has ever done in her life grumbles out of her.

Sophie pops her lips. “There it is.”

Mary squeezes her eyes shut. “You’re not right. I don’t — I can’t — it’s Ryan.” She can’t fall for her best friend! She doesn’t have a backup bestie. “Besides!” Mary pops up to tell Sophie, “I have never once wanted to kiss her.”

Sophie raises an eyebrow in the smoothest, most silent way to ask, Are you sure?

(Mary got them breakfast the next morning. She couldn’t do the sweet potato pancakes, but she knew the right cafe to get Ryan’s favorite vegan chorizo burrito. She got back just as Ryan was finishing up a shower and called out, “Breakfast!”)

(Steam followed Ryan out of her bedroom. The tips of her hair dripped softly onto her shirt, just above her chest, and Mary couldn’t stop glancing down at it. Normally, she would’ve been able to, but that morning…. Ryan snatched up her burrito and flopped down onto the couch. On the first bite, Ryan let out a soft moan that somehow carried straight over to Mary. Maybe Mary made the wrong food choice? If the burrito was that good, and Mary could feel it, then she needed some of what Ryan was having.)

(“You’re brilliant,” Ryan said. Then she locked eyes with Mary and gestured with her burrito. “Anyone who would ever leave you behind is a dumbass. Full offense to the entire Hamilton-Kane family.” Ryan dug in for another bite, and Mary’s heart swelled in her chest. She couldn’t even smile with how full she felt. How warm and safe and loved. God, she loved Ryan. She really, really could spend the rest of her life like this.)

(Ryan’s face scrunched up. “Stop looking at me like that. I don’t care how hungry you look. I’m not sharing.”)

(Mary faked an outraged gasp. She wasn’t even hungry. Not anymore, not really. Still, she threw herself onto the couch beside Ryan. “I paid for it! Give me a bite!” Ryan squirmed away, and Mary had to cling to the curve of Ryan’s back to try and reach for the good. “Come on! Ryan!”)

(If Ryan was a guy, this is when Mary would’ve kissed him. Would’ve peppered his head and his cheeks and his nose with kisses until he turned just enough for her to kiss his full lips and suck his tongue into her mouth. To lose every bit of resistance in the soft brush of her hands, and the gentle curls of Ryan’s hair beneath her fingers. Ryan’s teeth nipping at her bottom lip, then her neck, then—)

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!” Mary sinks even deeper into the couch. Then shoots up at the reminder of the memory of wanting to kiss Ryan on this exact freaking couch. She turns her wide eyes to Sophie. “What am I going to do?”

Sophie clicks her tongue. “Nope, I want nothing to do with that. Whatever happens there is between you and Ryan.”

“But what if….” Mary loses her words in a squeak. What if she doesn’t know what she wants to happen? What if she doesn’t want anything to happen? What if she’ll be totally fine, going about her business, continuing her life where she gets to occasionally cuddle up with her best friend in their apartment? Maybe she doesn’t need anything more than that. She’s made it this far, and she didn’t even know she had any sort of feelings, or attraction. She can keep on going now. She can be normal.

Not normal meaning straight, just normal meaning Mary’s normal state. Which was straight. Is straight?

Mary groans. “I hate my life.”

Sophie reaches for the wine bottle and fills Mary’s glass up to the brim. “Look on the bright side — at least you know who she is. No secret identities, or clandestine rendezvous. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

“I am apparently into a lot of things I didn’t know,” Mary mumbles.

Sophie sighs. “It’s not that different, and for you, maybe it’s not different at all. Maybe….” Sophie glances around the loft. Mary follows her eyes as they bounce from the wine to the hallway to the silly bat wall decals that Ryan got from Party City and put near the TV. Sophie nods her head, as she finds her words. “Ryan loves Halloween.”

“What?”

“Stick with me.” Sophie points to the bats, then the tiny plastic pumpkins from the checkout section of Target. “Ryan loves Halloween. She decorates the whole house around it because she loves it so much. But me, I grew up in a strict Christian household where Halloween was not what we did. We did Christmas. And you….”

Mary follows again. “We did a mix. Christmas and Hanukkah.”

Sophie winces. “Okay, a mix of holidays. You’re not strictly a one holiday kind of girl. And that’s fine.”

Mary glances back to the Halloween decorations. “So, in this metaphor—”

“It might be time to celebrate Halloween. Maybe you’ll love it. Maybe you’ll hate it. But it’s October now, so, get a costume, grab a pumpkin, and tell her how you feel.”

Okay. Mary can do that. Mary can totally do that. If she can handle Alice imploding her entire life in front of the whole world, then she can tell her roommate that she has a crush on her.

Maybe.

Someday.

When she’s ready.

“Can we, uh, work our way up to Halloween? I feel like I’m still hearing fireworks.”

Sophie grins at her. “Of course. We’ll go at your speed. And if you have any questions?”

Mary picks back up her wine glass and knocks back nearly half of it. “I’ll ask you. Or Parker. She’s incredibly knowledgeable for a teenager.” She probably wouldn’t use such convoluted metaphors either. It’s a win-win really. Great, last time Mary saw Parker, they were watching the lesbian drama; now Mary will be a part of it. Ugh. "I'm never living this down, am I?"

"Oh, absolutely not. Hey, Mary?" Sophie waits until Mary's turned her steadily narrowing gaze to her. "Never have I ever had a crush on Batwoman."

Mary flips Sophie off.

🦇

#mary hamilton #ryan wilder #mary x ryan #hamilbat #maryan #batwoman fic #mine #batwoman: s2 #batwoman: 213 #sophie moore #this was fun and then sad and then fun again. good times. #and they were roommates #and good night!

[ihassheepquake]

DC's Batwoman 3.07 "Pick Your Poison" has aired on the CW and I'm here to talk about it

It's the mid-season finale. On one hand, it feels a lot earlier than expected, but also it kind of tracks with how the seasons of Arrowverse shows usually go. Normally the annual crossover around episode 9 of each season is kind of treated as the mid-season finale despite it definitely not being the mid-season. Though there isn't a traditional crossover, I do imagine that this episode is going to end in a way that lets Ryan be able to go participate in the Flash event happening as that seems to be happening in "real-time."

I guess what I'm most interested in seeing, not just from this mid-season but in general, is where this Ivy-Mary thing is going. Is Mary becoming Ivy for real, like full time? Someone was cast as Pamela, an actress named Bridget Regan. Obviously, Mary being Ivy right now doesn't mean that we'll never see Pamela but who knows for sursies. I would guess that Pamela is still in that underground prison it's said Batman put her in and has possessed Mary to go free her. But has somebody been caring for her since Batman vanished? What if she died in the years it's been? Maybe we only see Pam in flashbacks. They have a lot of things they could do with this plot and I'm really excited to see what they do with it.

Enough pre-episode talk, let's get into it.

Starting off strong, Ryan helping Jada basically kidnap Marquis. We love a wild start. Boy is becoming our new Joker, which I don't know if I'm into or not, but whatever.

I forgot Sophie fucked Renee last episode omg.

Swamp Thing name drop?? Hell yeah! Have we seen him in the Arrowverse before? I don't think so but it's been a long time since I watched early Arrow so maybe he popped up there? Did they just put the Swamp Thing show on this Earth now? The CW does technically have that show now and it aired there around Halloween 2019 I believe. Maybe 2020. But I want HBO Max to pick it up and give it new life because it deserves it and HBO Max would have the money to put into it and could let it keep its very R rating.

Yay Ryan, you got it! Alice went with Mary, possibly specifically so you lot can track her but who knows with her. But yeah, definitely not. She's just snatched Mary for her own devilish needs.

Besties what is this method of finding a donor??? Because it's really stupid. Oh I'm so glad they changed Ivy's compulsion powers so she doesn't have to kiss someone to make it work. Was never a fan of that. I wonder if Mary will keep any of these powers after Ivy leaves her system? It's not exactly abnormal for people to keep some powers after possession/temporarily having powers in this universe.

Speaking of, here is Joker 2.0 ladies and gays! This is certainly a plot point. And here he goes killing people.

Can you actually tell someone's blood type like this? Idk what Mary's actually doing but that's wild shit.

How is the show going to backtrack this thing with Ryan resigning? Because they're going to, we all know it.

Ivy-Mary do something to not let Alice get the blood! Take your revenge!! I really don't think you get to qualify as Mary's only family left. It is really interesting hearing Alice and Mary talk about Kate though because really what Alice is saying is mostly fake, Kate did spend most of season 1 legitimately trying to help Alice until Alice made it clear that she wasn't going to accept it. But Mary's kind of right. Kate wasn't great to her and did tend to prioritize Alice over Mary.

Mary going to the dark side!! We love to see it.

Go find the Bat Cave under Wayne Manor perhaps??

This whole Marquis-Joker subplot kinda feels like the Arkham Knight Joker subplot but not as interesting or fun. And even I wasn't a huge fan of the Arkham Knight subplot. Also, is anybody going to recognize and be concerned by the very "let's put a smile on that face" that Marquis just did? Because I feel like that warrants concern.

Loving the suit Ivy. Now we just need to find you a Harley to be gay with.

I've checked out my sources and it doesn't seem like episode 8's title has been revealed yet, which makes sense since it won't air for about a month and a half. And as far as I can see, there really is only 13 episodes this season. That's all I've found listed while looking online. I usually really like the full 22 episode seasons but I have felt like the Arrowverse shows would do better as the 13 episode half seasons for a while. Stargirl does really, really well with the shorter seasons and some of these Arrowverse seasons really feel like they drag at the full length (looking directly at Flash season's 6 & 7).

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the rest of this season plays out, and I'll see you back in January.

#batwoman cw #hbo max batwoman #batwoman (dctv) #ryan wilder #luke fox #mary hamilton #beth kane #sophie moore #batwoman #batwing #poison ivy #alice #pamela isley #jada jet #marquis jet #renee montoya #sheep talks superheroes

[ladylesso]

thea gushes over kate's "alex vs the school for good" fanfic

i've reread this fanfic twice before it was finished but now it's finished, therefore i will read this beautiful work of art a third time and i have no regrets because this is the best fanfic in the entire fandom and i love kate so let's go (u never asked for it but here it is @pumpkinpaperweight)

i love how alex's close relationship with her parents, especially tedros, is already established within the first scene

alex is so witty and her mind is so sharp i've missed her so much :')

alex ribbin on tedros and agatha laughin as a sign of encouragement is my favorite thing

chapter 3: hooray for teenage angst

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT TEDROS NAMED HIS DOG CHICKEN THAT IS SUCH A TEDROS THING TO DO

will there be a one shot on the multiple ooty ambassor incidents????? i am Excited

"...and the author of this tale had lost their copy of The School for Good and Evil, and therefore could not remember exactly what the School for Good was meant to look like. They were running entirely off memory, and not doing a bad job, all things considered." KATE AKSKSJDKLFJ

get this: what if the camelot years were just a fever dream and alex vs is canon. what if.

chapter 10: these dogs are still alive for plot devices and comic relief don't @ me

marcy girl chill out

omg dean cromwell vs alex wearing the boys' uniform scene - iconic and sora-approved

oh my god i actually thought sophie stopping thorne was a scene in the actual books instead of in alex vs skdjkdfs

i love kate's adult! sophie - very realistic and in character

chapter 13: HA! GAY!

talib and sora my babies my precious my lovelies

"talib grinned, looking back in the direction of the classroom - sora kept looking at him and missed a step on the stairs" gay

chapter 15: my gran could do better, and she killed a warlock with a cheesecake - I LOVE THE CHAPTER TITLES SO MUCH

alex is so precious why are people being so mean to her :'( sora and i will happily burn them alive

"chaddick and lancelot always smacked her with the butt of the sword to signify a hit, but tedros had tended to sort of half-heartedly shove her off of the mat, unwilling to hurt her" tedros being a good and caring soft dad :')

"alex, what does your dad have?" "low self-esteem?" JESUS ALEX SKDFJLSDJFLJFSLDJ

"alex's temper was utterly uncontrollable, and hort didn't know how he'd forgotten- now it was all rushing back to him in one big, rather traumatic, wave" I'M LAUGHING

omg four year old alex defending her father i'm heart eyes

#i don't like this cromwell bat bring dovey back

"sora's brain was still trying to work out which panic he should prioritise more -the super deadly predators trotting at his feet, or the fact that talib was holding his hand?" Gay

seeing alex cry is like seeing a friend crying - it makes you sad and murderous

"we have been in so many fights.” said alex tiredly. “i wish our author would think of something else. but she won’t, it’s the Trial by Tale next, and that’s all fighting” KATE

chapter 21: EMMA, THEY'RE HOMOSEXUALS

"sora had snatched nadiya’s handkerchief and thrown it to talib like a maid watching her favourite knight" [crying] i would kill a small child for them

sora and alex trying to hide behind each other at the same time is makin me burst into hysterics

oooo sora bout to murder a bitch

sophie acting like an actual dean :')

nadiya's such a queen we stan

june being friends with talib and fondly calling him an idiot is my new religion

alex saying she's the "loser daughter" and me knowing that tedros and agatha are watching her right now hurts. thanks a lot kate

june and thorne???? ship????

omg sora laying it on thick and pretending to be unconscious so talib could carry him sldjsdlkfjdslf

SORA COMPLIMENTING TALIB ON HOW BEAUTIFUL HE LOOKS IN FRONT OF THEIR CLASSMATES

"my darling angel prince" that's Gay "sora fiddled with talib's collar" GAYYYYY

"gentle marital dispute" i adore kate's humor

TALIB PUNCHING THORNE TO PROTECT SORA

"wow,” said sora dreamily.

“he just punched someone in the face, sora,” sighed marcy.

“i’m dying, not blind. that was hot--”

im going to have a heart attack

sora dragging tedros is my new favorite thing

"sora smiled in a very self-satisfied sort of way, almost as if he knew the annoyance he’d caused several hundred miles away" this is sora's true talent

i love how alex breaks the 4th wall

sora: i don't know whether you've noticed, alex, but i can be really rude?

alex: ur not that rude to me

sora: because i thought it might make u cry

:') i love their friendship so much

yes alex! call him out! sora IS emotionally constipated!

omg im curious as to what color alex's fingerglow is

OMG ALEX'S TALENT IS RELATED TO AGATHA'S I LOVE IT

newsflash cromwell! we don't care about ur reputation OR you

alex clutching onto her aunt's arm :'(

awwwwhhh alex w curly hair!! <3

talib is the sweetest boy ever oh my goodness

OH MY GOD HE'S A PISCES OF COURSE KSJFSDJF SOFT BOY

sora is an aquarius HAHA suits him

alex's dramatic entrances are clearly from sophie's influence :')

talib gifting sora roses that's Gay

sora foreshadowing how ros and raiden will get along >:)

sora is a grumpy old man in a 16 year old body but WILL eat his friend's questionably edible birthday cake made for him don’t test him

TALIB AND SORA KISSING QUEEN KATE REALLY DELIVERS

SORA MAKING THE FIRST MOVE I AM SCREECHING I AM GOING TO BITE MY ARM OFF

oh my go d talib don't go ohmygod kate why

OMG ROSALINE POV I'M EXCITED

agatha planning a wrestling match with her and tedros vs cromwell and agatha confirming that the coven have spilled blood over june and will not hesitate to do it again is my favorite thing

if u look closely or if u look at all, ros is clearly a never

tedros: i don't have favorites

agatha: i do. you're my least favorite

tedros: i'm ur husband

agatha: so?

omg alex is tedros' favorite and marcus is agatha's favorite so does that mean ros is sophie's favorite

and now we're in marcus' POV? kate just keeps delivering

omg the famous camelot family scene i've been waiting for is finally coming to fruition

it's official: we stan emi

whenever i hear somebody call agatha the queen of camelot, i get this tight ache of pride in my chest

i love how marcus just looks at his father and tedros knows exactly what he's asking :')

raiden and the twins, marcus and ros? my Body is Ready for ros vs

WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE SLAMMING THE DOOR OPEN IN THIS FANFIC KSHFDJFSLJLJ

anemone campaigning for a ranking board that says who has the hots for who is something i can get behind

"there was a brief scuffle whilst both tedros and agatha fought to hug alex at the same time, which she didn't look in the least bothered about" ALEX FAMILY TIME YAY <3

alex introducing agatha, her famous mother, to her roommates is one of my favorite things

"alex stuck her tongue out at her and went back to rifling in her mother's cloak pockets for food" if this isn’t me -

alex being a wingwoman to make her mom sign marcy's copy of the tale of sophie and agatha is my favorite thing #1972934794

talib not recoginizing tedros as the king of camelot but as alex's dad :')

THE COLD SHOULDER SMOULDER

i love how ros could tell how much a fashion piece costs and what material it is just by looking at it

"there was a resounding crash, and another blade caught his, halfway" i love how tedros entered into this chapter kate is such a good writer

im lovin these marcus and ros descriptions

"rosalind and marcus looked at each other, then, slowly, back at jimmy. both of them suddenly looked a lot older than they were. raiden wondered how much damage they could do as a team. probably quite a lot" "raiden resisted the urge to squish marcus's cheeks" ROS VS HERE I COME

sophie rushing bc she senses drama is a big mood

omg i love these camelot year references

"...whilst tedros tried to pretend he hadn't just tried to shove agatha behind him, and awkwardly returned Excalibur to its sheath" his instincts :')

people mentioning that alex is a big sister makes me feel warm inside

the image of tedros braiding rosalind's hair gives me heart eyes

OMG GIN MILLS AND THE GOODS REFERENCE HAHA I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE KATE

im glad they're talking about alex and the reverse mogrification incident! i am also Intrigued

wait i thought ros and marcus were 10 years old? but agatha mentions how ros is 13? did i miss something

alex and hester aunt and niece relationship :')

this unspoken understanding between the pendragons is everything bless u kate

"i love it when Evers act like Nevers," emi told her grandsons from under her tree. “it’s good for the liver.”

EMI KNOWS ROS IS A NEVER SHE CALLED IT

oh alex u sweet darling child of course sora and talib are boyfriends even thorne could see it

this alex and thorne thing? gotta say,,,,,, i see the ship possibilities

SORA YOU EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED BUFFOON JUST TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND TALIB OH MY GOD

omg the everboys sitting in the beautification lesson im excited

emma,,,,... darling,,,,.........,,, they're Gay

i support alex's plan to look hot for the snow ball and single-handedly destroy the buffet

i love how tyler and marcy are in the squad now :')

anemone: WHO

talib: i'm not telling u!

anemone: WHICH GIRL

talib: not a - not a. uh, girl

anemone: I RESPECT THAT ALSO

tyler, nadiya, and marcy quietly discussing alex's type LKSDJFLSJFK

sora im bout to body slam u talk to ur bf u idiot donkey don't be like teenage tedros and agatha

"akiyama sora is a dead man," muttered nadiya" i bow to one (1) queen

SORA'S GAY PANIC

chapter 29: fellas is it gay to protect roses from winter damage

"poor thing,” she added as an afterthought. alex was forcibly reminded of her aunt’s 100% Evil status"

i love these scenes with sophie <3

"er. it's okay, professor," said sora's mouth. alex for the love of christ help me you useless git, said sora's eyes"

FINALLY SORA YOUR TWO BRAIN CELLS KISSED AND EXPERIENCED COMMON SENSE

alex saying marcy has horrible taste in men but swearing to take tyler's kidneys if he doesn't go for marcy - true friendship

AWWWWHHHHHH ALEX CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THE EVERGIRLS WHO DON'T WANT DATES TO GO TO THE SNOW BALL WITH ANEMONE <333333

anemone just said the f word is this legal

the amount of times i've screamed over sora nd talib is too much to count - sometimes in excitement and sometimes in pain

"he was cut off when talib seized his collar and kissed him, much harder than sora had kissed him the first time" my lungs are exploding

ANEMONE IS ME I AM ANEMONE

"sora exercised all the curse words he knew in her native language. alex grinned. "you sound like ros. except ros knows more words" oh??????????

i've smiled more reading chapter 29 than i have this whole year

sora: weren't u listening to the announcement yesterday

alex: who was doing the announcing?

sora: pollux

alex: nope

love that tedros deemed his wedding outfit a Sacred Object

i love how tedros and rosalind bond over fashion

alex has a daily ritual of high-fiving the statue of king arthur, her grandfather. i love her.

omg tedros adopting a pseudo father figure role over tyler love that

i said love so many times but i can't help it this fic is just too good

it's official: sora is alex's partner in crime

so just to catch up, the squad consists of alex, nadiya, sora, talib, tyler, marcy, and june - and out of this chaos rises a mom friend: nadi

i never knew how much i wanted to see the teachers gossiping until i got it

of course agatha never hired a nanny for her children she loves them too much to ever not raise them herself >:((((((

magazine with a pic of talib: major hottie alert!

sora: finally, some high-end journalism

kate ur mind is amazing

omg i love this curses! the musical plot point im excited

ros? as the queen of camelot? Sign Me Up

SORA ND ALEX WROTE THE SCRIPT KSJFSDLJFSLD HERE WE GO

alex is drawing a six pack on her stomach with a pen to prepare for her role as tedros somebody please help me my lungs have ruptured 

title reference on a crop top!! impressive!!

"MORE PANACHE !" sophie bellowed at the stage" did soman write this or did u kate

is marcus on the autism spectrum???? it would be great if he was

"alex said a quick prayer to rosalind, patron saint of spinning half-truths to people and getting away with it"

im grinning so hard at agatha possibly dying of laughter during alex's rendition of curses! the musical

"tedros made a sound like an animal in pain and sank down so low in his seat that he was barely visible. agatha burst into hysterical cackles, reminding ros, not for the first time, that she had been raised by an actual witch" "'tedros' and 'hort' had a rap battle that ended up getting too personal and devolved into a fistfight" AGATHA AND I ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE

"she turned around, saw tedros stood behind her, and screamed. tedros held up the programme, open on the page which said rewritten by akiyama sora and alex pendragon. alex screamed louder."

i adore the news' headlines

what's on the school master's mind??????????

omg is it about marcus and ros??

YES IT IS SKFDSJFL

chinhae is ros' friend and both of their names were circled in red bc the school master has a plan for them. whoaaaaaa

"slowly, she turned back to look up at the school master's tower. and got the distinct feeling someone was meeting her gaze" chills

finished 1:06 AM june 14, 2020

#this is so LONG sorry!!! #but i just love alex vs so much #i don't read fanfics at all so this is all yall are gonna get #i mean besides kate's fanfics ofc #alex vs #sge fanfic #kate #thea reads

[ladyshilya]

Batwoman: Drink Me

Let’s see what is going on with this whole vampire thing.

The show starts off with the vampire who does bite the guys neck but then leaves him while she drains his blood into bags. Unless she is saving it for later to drink either cold or heat up I don’t think she is a real vampire. Which is a bit of a let down since there was a Batman comic about vampire.

Batwoman comes across one of Nocturna victims who she stings up to drain their blood. While there Nocturna fights Batwoman and sinks her teeth into her. It seems this renders the victims paralyzed. Nocturna leaves because the crows show up and Sophie finds Batwoman and lets her go. While visiting Mary, Kate discovers there is Ketamine in her blood from when Nocturna bit her.

Kate decides the use the opening of her club as a ways to lure in Nocturna. I had completely forgotten Kate was planning on opening a club. Sophie goes to the club undercover to see if she can find Nocturna but is called away. Alice also shows up outside because she thinks Kate took Mouse. Which we all know she didn’t. Later while looking through the videos they notice a lady following Alice. Which happens to be Nocturna who is just a person with a really bad allergy to the sun and failing kidneys. It’s because of her kidneys that she needs fresh blood to keep alive.

Alice convinces Nocturna to go after a better blood source which is none other then Mary. Alice really wants to kill Mary. Batwoman rescues Alice who is surprised to see her. Kate figures out the cords that are being used are church bell cords which leads Kate to where Mary is being held. Alice shows up and helps Kate by giving blood to Mary because she is a universal donor. Alice is defiantly playing a game here. Batwoman is able to take down Nocturna in the end. Kate pays a visit to Alice because she knows Alice is the one who told Nocturna about Mary. It seems that Alice doesn’t want Kate to give up on her. Alice also figured out that Mouse’s father is the one who took him.

Papa Kane had been released from Jail which I am not 100% who that happened. Unless Mouse’s father wrote the statement saying that it was possible for people to change faces. Of course Papa Kane heads right back to work and while there he learns about Sophie helping Batwoman escape. This leads to him putting her on suspension. Sophie using the Batsignal to get in contact with Batwoman and tells her what happened. This also leads to them kissing on the roof. I wonder if now Sophie knows for sure its Kate because she might remember how her ex kissed. Not to mention some of that connection and feelings might still be there.

When Mary learns that Nocturna was drugging her victims with Ketamine she remembers Kate having that in her system and Sophie mentioning Batwoman being drugged at the same time. Mary remembers some other things that have been a bit strange and pulls up the article on Batwoman coming out. This is when Mary realizes that Kate is Batwoman.

Interesting episode a change of pace from dealing with two Beths. It is the start of life after not saving Alice. Kate has to deal with her guilt of not saving Beth and the fact her sister knows she didn’t choose her. We still have no idea where Mouse is but Alice is on his trail and she will do nothing to get him back. I appreciate her talking to one of his faces because that is what someone who is lonely would do talk to the person they are the closest. Kudos to Mary for figuring out Batwoman’s identity, the signs were there she just needed to put them together. Also I love it when we keep seeing how smart Mary is.

Look like we will be dealing with a woman carving up faces next week which seems to attract Alice’s attention.

#cw batwoman #batwoman cw #batwoman tv show #batwoman tv series #batwoman #batwoman spoilers

[backpackbrigade]

Backpack Playlist 5/27/19

I no longer have a radio show so this is where I’m gonna be posting my thoughts and playlists! Have fun, who cares. Apple Music/Spotify links at the bottom. Enjoy. 

“Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)” - Kate Bush, Hounds of Love (1985, EMI)

A gay icon, not much to say beyond that. We love some extra as shit background vocals.

“Bags” - Clairo, Immunity (2019, Fader)

First single off Clairo’s new LP coming out at some point this year. Literally all I can think when I hear the guitar line in this song is Avril Lavigne, and I say that with the utmost respect and love. Big ups to VW alum Rostam for the production on this track and Danielle Haim for drums - does this mean Clairo is now part of the PC Music squad AND the VW-adjacent rap/indie rock squad??? Her career is definitely pretty strange so far, but I’m hype to see her blow up beyond the world of the Youtube algorithm chewing up and spitting out DIY music videos. This track is also kinda full circle for her - in her big Pitchfork feature last year, she talked about being starstruck after seeing one of the Haim sisters on a plane listening to SOPHIE, and now she’s got one of them on a track. We love growth.

“Kisses 2 My Phone” - Sega Bodega, self*care - EP (2018, NUXXE)

Lona (aka MANIIK aka BABY GAMELAN) shared this EP with me last year, and it’s been rattling around in my head ever since. Some glitchy trap beats and subtly depressing lyrics about sending kisses to your phone and losing love. Scottish experimental pop kid who gets in your ears and won’t leave.

“Even the Shadow” - Porches, Pool (2016, Domino)

A classic, both Pool and their newer album The House (2018, Domino) remind me of a very specific time in my life when I was spending 12 hours in the photo studio every other weeknight and played Porches on shuffle to get through it. Very sad stoner synthy alt-pop for gay kids with lots of insecurity but dreams of 2014 soft pale tumblr aesthetic escapism!!

“Hatin” - Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats, Anger Management (2019, Sugar Trap)

Remember when Rico was just a Soundcloud kid with a stellar remix of “The Race” under her belt?? When I first heard that track in the background of a friend from high school’s Instagram story, I literally dropped my phone trying to lyric search it to see who sang it. Big ups to Lafayette (a newly minted Howard University grad :,) ) for putting me on. Rico’s always been bffs with Kenny, so this collab record isn’t surprising, but I didn’t expect it to be this good!!! Very excited to see her blowing up on Tik Tok rn, maybe she’ll finally get what she’s owed. And she deserves more than just a 2 second cameo in the Old Town Road music video………

“Dig” - Lance Bangs, Lance Mountain - EP (2016, Citrus City)

Reminds me of screamy jangly indie rock from the summer after my first year when I lived in a commune and got a stick and poke from a friend who was three mojitos deep. Also, Citrus City is awesome and we love to support VA labels!!

“Livin’ On a Prayer” - Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986, Vertigo)

Mostly putting this on here because it’s the ending soundtrack to a great little animated short film I watched recently called WORK (2009) by Michael Rianda. It’s a super 2009 short, but it’s fascinating because it feels like the aesthetic halfway point between Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected (2000) and Bojack Horseman (2014-) style absurdity. It’s not the subtlest anti-capitalist cartoon out there, but it’s very cute and funny.

“20 Ghosts III” - Nine Inch Nails, Ghosts I-IV (2008, The Null Corporation)

Put this back to back with Bon Jovi because the weird guitar/vocal growls sound like the “Livin’ On a Prayer” digital doo-wops put through an insane pedal filter. Heard it for the first time when I was watching Laura Poitras’ documentary Citizenfour (2014) - she used it for the super haunting opening and closing scenes, and I can’t think of any better use for Trent Reznor’s sad garage dad phase guitar music.

“Guap” - Yaeji, Yaeji EP (2016, GODMODE)

No introduction necessary, hopefully. Gives me third year queer party vibes, and if you know what that means, congratulations. You’re part of an in-group now. Listen when you need subtle hype up music.

“Indica” - Dizzy Fae, Free Form Mixtape (2018, self-released)

When I showed a friend a picture of Dizzy Fae, their first response was that she’s probably from Amsterdam or Berlin or something and floats between secret clubs all week long before performing herself. She’s actually from Minnesota and is way younger than either of us assumed, so big ups to her for projecting the coolest vibes imaginable. Her vocal distortion is a little FKA Twigs, but she knows how to fuckin rap on the rest of the EP. Well worth a full listen.

“Flower Moon (feat. Steve Lacy)” - Vampire Weekend, Father of the Bride (2019, Columbia)

Best track on this new album, imo, but I can’t stop thinking about Vampire Weekend for a completely different reason. When this album came out, literally everyone was making fun of it for sounding like a Paul Simon redux. A lot of people praised it for the exact same reason lol. But Paul Simon’s relationship with cultural appropriation is a lot like Ezra Koenig’s, and not enough people have made that connection. Remember when Paul Simon broke the cultural boycott with Apartheid-era South Africa to make Graceland (1986)?? Everyone shit all over him for not only straight up taking South African music styles and centering himself in their vocal story, but doing it all in the midst of the largest cultural boycott in modern history. It’s a good album, I won’t pretend it’s not, but it’s deeply problematic and disappointed a lot of people who expected something better from a guy who knew what he was doing. Reminds me of 2008-2012 Vampire Weekend!! Anyway, listen to this track for Steve Lacy, if nothing else.

“Ur Phone” - boy pablo, Roy Pablo - EP (2017, self-released)

Another Youtube algorithm kid, boy pablo was in everyone’s feeds because this EP is the perfect summery shimmery gaze-y indie rock. His newer album is a little more uptempo than I personally like, but this track is *chef’s kiss*

“Can the Circle Be Unbroken” - The Carter Family, Can the Circle Be Unbroken: Country Music’s First Family (2000, Sony; original recording 1935)

Really not trying to wade into the country music discourse today, but this track is genuinely full of intense longing and sadness in a way that so clearly changed country/rock music and its relationship to the guitar.

“Before the World Was Big” - girlpool, Before the World Was Big (2015, Wichita)

Their new stuff fucking slaps, and seeing them come to terms with their gender identities is fucking beautiful!! But I always come back to these weird ass nursery rhymes. It’s literally just their harmonies and two guitars, and legend has it if you turn this up to full volume in your car and drive through your hometown, your unrequited high school crush will appear with their spouse and two kids just to rub it in.

“Vroom Vroom” - Charli XCX, Vroom Vroom - EP (2016, Vroom Vroom Recordings)

I mean. It’s Charli’s early work with SOPHIE, you’ve gotta just blast this shit and ruin someone’s life. The return to queer hyper pop over the past few years is the only thing sustaining my fucking mental health.

“Xternal Locus” - Chynna & Oklou, Single (2018, self-released)

Another track Lona played for me after I picked her up from work in DC. Lowkey enough to ***** to, highkey enough to **** to ;)

“Cinema” - Kero Kero Bonito, Totep - EP (2018, self-released)

KKB really did an about face with this record, but I still fucking love them. It’s still sunny and glittery pop, but with a chilled-out vibe. Their intense pop records are like the come up, and this is the chill smoke sesh the day after. Just vibey enough to let you chill out and kick back, but keeps you on your toes with some unexpected samples and glitchy moments.

“Jack the Ripper” - SadGirl, Breakfast for 2 - Single (2018, Suicide Squeeze)

We love surf rock, and that’s all I’m gonna say for this. You either vibe with it you’re bored as shit.

“watch you sleep.” - girl in red, Single (2019, self-released)

Music To Sleep To.

Playlists

#music #playlist #musicreview #music blog #yaeji #charli #rico nasty #girlpool

[okimargarvez]

IF YOU GO AWAY

Original title: Se tu te ne vai.

Prompt: misunderstandings, funeral, telephone conversations.

Warnings: character death. Set in the end of season 12. Very sad.

Genre: angst, drama, comedy, family, romantic, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Spencer Reid, (Emily Prentiss), Derek Morgan, BAU team.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: trilogy of oneshots.

Legend: 💏😘👓🔦⚰.

Song mentioned: none.

If You Go Away- Masterlist

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES Note: I’m sorry.

IF YOU GO AWAY or three stories of a farewell, a return and a stay

  1- FAREWELL: Why did you leave?

 -What is this?

-It's my letter of resignation.

-Penelope.

-No. If Reid dies, I quit.

-We won't let that happen.

-Emily, I'm exhausted, and it is breaking me, and this whole year has been an emotional roller coaster. It's like every time something happens, there's a piece of myself that is being chipped away, and if one more thing goes down, I don't think there's going to be anything left.

 Luke has noticed right away, she's not here. But he had look the other way. This was no time to think of such a thing. They had to find the mother of Spencer. But he couldn't help but care about her. He had proved protective of each team member, but she was something more. Maybe because he could so easily to grasp the fragility behind all that apparatus of eccentric clothes and odd phrases. Or will it be that Penelope is the sweetest creature (when and with whom she wants) that exists on this planet. When Emily returns from them, her brown eyes is strange. She went to her? Has something happened? Why she not talks, dammit?

No, she continues to think about the case, and rightly so. But he has had enough.

-I'll take a quick drag.- at night, in an area with no green spots... First of all he heads toward Garcia's office. He knocks. No reply. He tries twisting the handle and... surprise. The door opens. The light is on, but she's not here. He shouldn't set foot, isn't his right, is invading the privacy of the blonde, but... it's a special case, he is justified. He notices with pleasure, indulging in a little smile, that on her desk, in the midst of all those puppets and strange objects, there is also the one that he has given her. He approaches, taking it in his hand, thinking, wondering if she would ever do this, if every now and then she happens to use it, whether she has already tested its usefulness in reducing stress. And while she touches it, if she thinks about him. Ouch, this isn't really a thought by worried coworker.

Then his eyes are attracted to a yellow folder. It doesn't seem like the ones they use to keep the documents of a case. Nothing is written on it, which can help him understand what it is. He must not open it. He can't. But he does it however.

His visual apparatus recognizes before the mind the type of file that is inside.

I, Penelope Garcia, being of sound mind, I ask to be able to resign right now. I don't think I'm more suitable for this job and as a result I'll be a burden and not a valid help for the team. I would suggest for my replacement Sophie Cardoza, she is young but...

-What are you doing in my office?- Luke jumps, feeling behind her. Her tone wanted to be stern, but it came out weak and broken. She doesn't hide the fact that she has just cried. He turns towards Penelope.

He doesn't apologize, he doesn't look for justifications. -Why do you want to leave?- he asks her instead, directly, going to the point, without many turns of phrase. She sighs, shrugs, tries to seem distant and austere as usual, but she doesn't succeed very well. And that look is almost the same as when she had returned from her visit to Reid in prison.

-Why do you think it's your business, Alvez?- she answers with another question. But the man expected it.

-Because I'm part of the Awesome 8- he quotes her, with no parody intent -and I'm sorry to see you like that.- she needs Derek. If he were there, she probably would never have dared to bring that document to Prentiss. However, she can't deny that this isn't the first time she has decided to leave the Bureau. Derek would hold her in his arms and tell her it's all right. Or that if it's not right now, it will be better in the future. He would get Reid out of jail. He would have taken Scratch. Luke instead...

Before she can realize it, she finds the lips of the Newbie pressed on hers. She remains wide-eyed for the duration of the kiss, feeling overwhelmed by a train of emotions, unable to distinguish them with precision. -And this was for...- she pronounces this phrase like a question, her mouth still wet with his taste, as she catches her breath. It's his turn to shrug, indifferent.

-I don't know, I just thought it could work as when people have hiccups. If I could surprise you enough, maybe this would have passed.- he is serious, he did really think such a thing? Yet the man's gaze is so innocent, sweetly joking. Penelope allows herself a laugh.

-You really messed up, Alvez.- but then the mood returns grumpy. It was just a glow in the darkness. -But it didn't work.- she can't do without it, just look at his sad expression to become from the one would need to be consoled, to the one who instead consoles. -Hey, it doesn't depend on you. This time I think that even Morgan couldn't raise me up.-. she lies. Or maybe not?

-You didn't have answered my question. Why do you want to leave?- now Luke's tone is extremely calm and almost cold. She moves a few centimeters away.

-Because I can't take it anymore.- it's something, but it's not enough. He urges her to continue with his gaze. -You are in this team for how much, a little over six months?- it sounds like if he should feel responsible -How can we try to save the others, if we can't protect ourselves and the people we love?- she changes the register and the eyes they come back to be completely shiny. But the tone is firm. -Spencer was kidnapped, the girl who fell in love with him killed by a psychopath, one of the many that we chase every day... and now his mother is in danger.- gradually that she speaks, she notices he is gradually approaching at her body, but she tries not to mind too much.

JJ. Her husband was injured and kidnapped by completely crazy thieves, who were excited to kill as well as steal, and the woman even went to their home and threatened Henry, their child. Let's add the fact that she was disappeared for months, while she was in a war zone with the head of the section, Cruz and that this forced her to abort. - her voice is getting more serious, and less and less hard. -Rossi, as you have seen, spent countless birthdays receiving as a gift a name of a poor murdered girl... but it's not just that. One of her best friends was murdered "because of him", or better than his job. The head of section that was there before, Erin Strauss, with whom he had a relationship, was killed by another unsub, and if that wasn't enough, a girl who aspired to become like him was murdered for this reason.- now she no longer has the strength to look him in the eyes. -Emily, oh, she's more privileged, she's just been killed by a Russian guy and we just thought she was dead for a few months...- her laugh is bitter -... besides this, her childhood friends were killed by a priest convinced to practice exorcisms to save their souls and her ex-colleagues from that Russian I mentioned earlier... Ian Doyle.- she pronounces as if spitting -Tara's brother has been kidnapped by Mr. Scratch, but you know that, you were there too... in fact, when they found him he was saying your name, right?- but he doesn't reply nothing - Walker... that story of his friend seems to me that it doesn't need to be repeated.- she sighs and raises for a moment again the look on him. -And we pass to the absent. Hotch's wife was killed by one who managed to convince us for years of being one of the victims. He was drugged by Peter Lewis, who forced him to relive those experiences. And he risked dying from complications arising from the wounds he had reported years ago! And now he's in the witness protection program.- the words come out freely, as if they had life of its own and she was just a loudspeaker to make them sound louder.

-Derek. He was accused of murder, kidnapped and tortured for days, some criminal shot his pregnant wife... it seems to me sufficient- just three centimeters distance separated Luke from her. - And many others, which will be just names for you. Kate Callahan, her stepdaughter has been kidnapped by a group of people who sell young people to people... I don't think they deserve to be called like that... by some lousy people who sell kids to those who want to have fun, experimenting with a new method of murder.- her eyes, too swollen to hold back her tears, let her flow as she feels the warm breath of man brush her face like a caress -Alex Blake, maybe you've assist some of her lessons or read one of her books, she had to leave the unit to save her sanity and her marriage. In addition to this, her brother was almost killed by am unsub.- now it's certain that Luke has laid his hands on her shoulders, but she doesn't dare to open her eyes to check. -And then Ashley Seaver, daughter of a serial killer and future of the Bureau. Jordan Todd, skilled in dealing with terrorists but practically consumed in less than a month to talk with relatives of the victims and in conferences. Jason Gideon, one of the founders of the BAU... crushed like a fly, by one who had known more than thirty years before, when he had given up on this job! And finally Elle Greenaway, who was forced to leave because of me; after they shot her, she wasn't the same person anymore.- she seems to have talked for centuries. The sense of guilt is there, latent, but never abandons her.

-Why your fault?- finally Luke manages to open his mouth. Garcia's voice had hypnotized him.

-Because I was playing online with my PC, but with the wi-fi of Bureau and so the killer managed to get the personal data of the team, and chose to hit her, maybe because she was alone.- she exclaims aloud something she had just found out was always inside her. -He should have hurt me! I was an easy target too, but surely. she was prettier...- she's not crying, she just has to blow her nose every five minutes.

-Penelope, don't say that...- he increases the hold on her shoulders.

-Why not? It's the truth. In both cases. And it was my fault, I should have paid for it.- it's too easy to go back to those days that she thought she had by now overcome. Luke lifts her head and grabs her chin. If she were in herself, she would probably be shocked.

-No, it's not, in either of them...- but she doesn't listen, so he decides to change the subject and the approach. -And me?- he asks. Penelope frowns, confused.

-What?- he smiles.

-You did practically the list of everyone who was part of the BAU... you even mentioned Walker. The only ones you have not named, it's you and me.- another smile, a little more mischievous than the previous one. She sighs, annoyed.

-I can't include you, because I don't know anything about you.- And would you like to know? those dark eyes ask her.

-Well, you know I joined the team because of Daniel Cullen, the Crimson King...- she nods. -Here, when I caught him he was busy cutting open my partner, Phil, who miraculously survived. But the psychological scars are more difficult to heal and I, too, stayed awake for a few nights, terrified by the prospect of closing my eyes.- she had never thought about the fact that he could have such problems, but basically it's normal, each of them fights against their own demons. She has nothing to comment on. -And you?- we can consider what he is doing the principle of a hug.

-I... nothing. A guy, who I went out with shot me instead of kissing me. He hit me a few millimeters under my heart, a bit of rehab and here I'm, like new.- she shows off in a turn that doesn't come out very well. Even the joking tone is forced. Luke doesn't really want to laugh.

-Why you liquidate this like it was normal? - he puts both hands on her shoulders. -Garcia, don't treat me like I don't care at all.- behind them some device emits a sound.

-I've got some information on the case, would you let me go and see?- reluctant he lets her go and he follows her in every movement. -And anyway, if you really want to know, I'll not leave the BAU until the story of Reid is over.- the man realizes he can't do what he really wants and goes out, leaving her alone.

 While each of them is busy looking for useful information on the murderer of Nadie Ramos, they ignore each other. Or rather Luke can't help but keep an eye on her, but with a more discreet than usual. He positions himself on the blackboard and he mark all the places that come to his mind. When she came back inside and sat down in front of her computer, he immediately realized that she was still crying. But Penelope didn't want his help and he doesn't know what else to do. It was better to focus on the case. They spend all night there, he makes a lot of calls, they drink lots of coffee, and then... then Prentiss manages to convince the judge to free Spencer because his mother was kidnapped.

And so, they go to jail: Luke, JJ and Penelope. He heads off to talk to Calvin Shaw once more while one blonde runs from Reid, the other stays alone outside. Yet as they accompany him on exiting the prison, she remains his only fixed thought, which doesn't want to go away. Here she is, beautiful with straight hair and that almost normal dress. His eyes widen at her sight, he can't help it. Although for her he is only one of many who have been part of the BAU, it's not the same for Luke. He looks away because he is aware that her joyous expression isn't for him, but for Spencer. How he envies him while he looks at them hugging, something she had never allowed him to do... yet that time, the first who had found her crying in his bunker, he had gone so close... if she hadn't received that damned message: We have a case. The two take each other's hands and a part of him dies. Needless to make fun of himself.

 But the worst is yet to come. And bears a name and surname: Derek Morgan.

Right now, Luke doesn't want to rethink the synopsis of those days, but he still can't do without it. They had discovered that Lindsey had an accomplice, another girl who had met Spencer, a certain Cat. It was Penelope herself who told him who she was and what she had done. Then Reid and JJ went to jail where she was detained. And they had followed the whole interview, practically powerless. In the meantime, they had tried to figure out where Lindsey could keep Diana. So, Cat had mentioned Morgan and his family, because she knew that Derek's son carried Spencer's second name and therefore she wanted to make him suffer. Then she made him believe she was with child from him, but Garcia found out that the real father was a guard. And then they had managed to find Diana and bring her to safety. The moment of the maternal embrace had been beautiful. Lindsey was in their hands, Cat always in prison. All solved? No.

It was too good to be true. In fact, the ex-special agent Morgan had appeared out of nowhere because he had received a message from Penelope... in short, the blonde's phone had been hacked. Big mistake. How to try to steal from Arsène Lupine. Luke couldn't help but ask a simple question: if she could figure out where the hacking was from. And she took it very badly. She had turned to Derek and with a knowing look had pointed out what she had to endure. And the latter, holding back a laugh, he had addressed the word to him for the first time.

-Alvez, you'll always get a location with this one.- he had caressed her, squeezed a shoulder. With such naturalness, spontaneity, tranquility... all the opposite of what he could do. Only once he had the opportunity to touch her shoulders, when the judge had rejected the possibility of allowing a bail and throwed Reid in jail. That time she was so in crisis that she had probably not even noticed who was trying to console her. All that Luke had been able to do was a half-smile, behind which a thousand thoughts and emotions were hidden. Then Derek had called him "new friend".

He didn't know what to think of him. He couldn't understand what he felt for him. After all, he was married, with a son. He was no longer part of the unit. He was no longer a danger (or a rival), right?

The answer had arrived very quickly. When they had left the meeting room and they were both alone, he already didn't like the situation. But then he had to go back, because he had forgotten something. And so, he had seen them together. Much worse than the tasting he had had before. The way Penelope looked at him, as if he were really a god... with what love, affection, respect, devotion... all things she would never have shown to him. And even Derek, though his gestures were not just like a normal friend, the sweetness with which he had caressed her cheek or when he had told her he was proud of her and... that he loved her. He really loved her. Yet he had returned from his wife. He could never understand their relationship.

And when he thought that nothing else could happen now, the man had managed to surprise him, to open his mouth wide again. "But do you think you can try to be a little friendlier to Alvez?- why he did care? He did also notice that she treated him differently? -He seems like a pretty all right kid...- and Penelope rolled her eyes. But what she had replied... -It's complicated... I'll try. I make no promises.- Why she say it’s complicated? Apart from that, there were other reasons why it should be complicated?

 For all these reasons Luke wasn't very focused on driving, nor on the case. Yet the accident didn't happen because of him. All the SUVs had been pierced by a special system that had appeared on the road just as they passed. They had turned upside down, but without suffering consequences. But while they were catching their breath, he had seen the light of the headlights out of the corner of his eye. And he had had only time to start a prayer, the most basic, the one that his grandmother had taught him when he was very small...

Then the awakening in the hospital. They were all fine. Some sprain, scratch, but nothing serious. In fact, he had been the one who had made everyone worry more, because he didn't regain consciousness immediately. But they hadn't even had time to relax, to rejoice, to breathe a sigh of relief.

Derek had suddenly entered the room where he was hospitalized, where the entire BAU was gathered. And each of them understood, even before the former profiler opened his mouth. Even Luke had understood that something serious had happened, but he hadn't wanted to believe it. Until he had thought about it, it would not have come true. If only it had been so...

 How had it happened? Nobody could still say it. They only knew that someone had shot Penelope. While she was still at the BAU. Later they would have discovered that it was the work of the two villains, the evil couple, who had managed to organize everything from the prison. Somehow, they understood the connection between computer technician and Spencer and then, in any case, she was the simplest target. More vulnerable. Because they were out.

It had been all a trap. The real goal had been her, from the beginning.

It was their fault, of each of them. They had left her alone. They had assumed that inside their offices she would be safer, in fact, no one had thought it might be dangerous. Not even he.

She hadn't died right away. She had survived the surgery. It seemed like there was hope. In fact, the doctors had immediately said that she was still in danger, that they could only wait. But she was conscious. So, each of them went to her bedside, to do with her what would be the last chat. First JJ, Emily and Tara. Together, because they always had been. Then Rossi and Spencer. And Derek who had never moved. He had only come out after Stephen had done his part. Even he couldn't pretend not to cry. And then it had been his turn. Luke was finished last, he had risked not being able to even have this chance.

But when he had crossed the threshold of her room, Penelope was still alive. Weak. She was the shadow of Garcia to which he was accustomed. He had to show himself strong for her. But by now it was clear to everyone that their technician was slowly shutting down. She had stopped fighting. The game had been won by the lady in black. That game that began more than ten years ago, with a bullet hit. They would have discovered later that she had been the previous damage that made her survival impossible. But he didn't know it yet. He wanted to be strong, but he hadn't succeeded.

He had burst into inconsolable crying, falling to her knees before her bed, holding her hand. He had been out of breath, because

it was being so desperate. He didn't remember if he had said anything to her, if they were sensible phrases. But Penelope had tried to console him as far as she could. Her voice was so low that he finally had to placate tears in order to hear her. -I'm sorry I was so stupid.- it was the juice of the first tiring sentence she had uttered. -I'm sorry to have treated you like that.- the second one. Even at a time like this she couldn't stop thinking about someone else, everyone, except herself. The last one had been -I'm glad you managed to kiss me.- but Luke hadn't even had time to think he could repeat that gesture. The fingers tightened to his had become motionless. They were already cold. He had looked at her face. She had such a serene expression...

 Luke sighs one last time, before he gains strength and loads part of the weight of the coffin on his shoulder. On the other sides there are obviously Spencer, Derek and Rossi. Behind them, many people, many ex-FBI agents. Three of her ex-boyfriends, for whom he can't even feel jealous anymore. Emily and JJ shake hands throughout the ceremony. Then the coffin had lower in the grave. And covered with ground. Together with the flowers above the coffin. Not roses, not just at least. A person like Garcia, she would have liked the last day to be full of colors and variegated. So, sunflowers, orchids, carnations, daisies and many others. In fact, while he waited for Dave's car to pick him up, he lost himself reading the meanings of the various flowers, because he wanted to tell her what he felt, though she no longer cared, at least that way, at least one last time. But he would have to bring a lot of them: holly (defense, eternity) for what he should have done and wanted, but at least he had tried; aquilegia (which before he didn't even know existed) because it meant hidden love ; freesia (another who didn't know) because it signaled mystery and charm; carnation, jasmine because simply the red was mark of love; Hibiscus, on the other hand, was the most suitable of all because it doesn't live more than a day, so its fleeting beauty lasts only for a moment and at the end what was there between them wasn't very different; the lilacs for the beats of love; the forget-me-nots would have been a mockery of himself. And there would have been many others, too many And, in the end, he had opted for a strange flower, whose name wasn't romantic, orange; and Spencer had recognized it immediately and surely, he had been the only one to understand. Buttercup. And yet another had reached his companions and had been buried by the ground. Zinnia.

-Luke... - the young genius approaches him. Only the two of them were remained. He stayed in front of Penelope's tomb, the stone hasn't yet been laid, all this time. To think, to remember. To cry. But it doesn't embarrass him the fact that Spencer had sees his pain so obvious. They stare into each other's eyes for a moment and then he, the famous doctor to hate the handshakes, hugs him. When they separate, the Latin already knows what he is going to ask him. -Two flowers...- for once seems to be speechless, unable to compose one of his long sentences full of big words. -Buttercup: sad and melancholy love. Zinnia: nostalgia , lack.- he declares, how if reads the definitions of a dictionary. -You loved her?- Luke nods without having to think about it.

-You, who always know everything -he provokes him, sniffling -you can tell me why she had to die?- he doesn't blame him, but anger and despair follow each other very quickly in his soul. The young doctor doesn't have the answer he is looking for. But he is in possession of another that can still interest him.

-Do you know what she was doing when she was hit?- Why twist the knife? Why force him to return to that day? Make he feel again useless, helpless and stupid? But he doesn't say anything to stop him -I was with her. She told me that she had decided to leave the team... he showed me her resignation... then she tore the paper into pieces. And she came out to breathe, a breath of air, as if were a kind of ritual... then I heard the hiss of the bullet and I saw her fall to the ground. I called 911, Derek and then you, but you didn't answer, because the accident had already happened...- Luke isn't listening anymore.

Garcia had changed her mind. She wouldn't have abandoned them anymore.

Yet fate has chosen in her place. It decided she had to leave the Bureau. Conclusively.

Penelope, I miss you. Why did you leave me alone? Why you? Why I'm not dead? Not you, with your innocence, your trust in the world... not you.

While Reid holds him in another improbable embrace, the man becomes aware of a truth. He may love other women, but there will always be a thought, a hypothesis no longer verifiable, that will torment him. Because what isn't defined, has no boundaries, doesn't even have an end.

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @janiedreams88 @kiki-krakatoa @yessenia993 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke  @gcchic @arses21434 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @maziikeen92 @lovelukealvez @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @ichooseno  @ megs2219 @rkt3357 @franklintrixie @thinitta @chewwy123 @skisun @maba84 @saisnarry @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes

Note: I’m still sorry. The other two will be happier. I swear.

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #criminal minds #cm #luke x penelope #penelope x luke #garcia x alvez #alvez x garcia #spencer reid

[historyrepeatsitself-phff]

Chapter Seventy

A/N: Here you guys go, as ever I hope you enioy it and any comments are always hugely appreciated 💖

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”

Harry chuckled and squirmed under the cover at the sound of Emmy’s voice, hiding himself from her excitement.

“Happy birthday dear Harry-” She wacked him, trying to get his attention. “Happy birthday to youuuuuu…” She dragged out the last note, then pouted. “Harry, it’s not every day I sing to you, you could at least appreciate it!”

“I do, I do,” he said, emerging and grinning. “Just promise me you’re not going to sing again today, alright?”

“Ugh, is this to do with that weird problem you have with getting old?” she said, rolling her eyes. 

“You’re 21, you’re fine,” he said. “Me? I’m 32. Thirty-two! I mean, I better start preparing for my mid-life crisis.”

Emmy grinned at that, shaking her head at him. “Don’t be silly, just the other day you were so fit when you were helping Rick with the boxes of food.”

Harry frowned at that. He had no memory of helping Rick with boxes of food. He had no memory of any boxes of food for that matter. “What?”

Her eyes widened. “Do you not remember?” she whispered, then raised a hand to her forehead dramatically and said, “I knew the dementia was coming, but I never expected it this soon!”

He shoved her gently, grinning. “Shut up, you’re lying! There were no boxes!”

“It’s okay not to remember, Harry,” she teased.

“You’re lying!” he hissed, then looked panicked and his voice rose an octave as he said, “Right?”

Emmy dissolved into giggles then, collapsing back on the bed as her laughter echoed around the room. Harry glared at her the whole while, until her eyes went to his and she grinned. “Of course I was lying. Your face. Did you actually think you were losing it?”

“Remind me to never get old in front of you,” he muttered, pretending to act annoyed.

“You already are, aren’t you?” she said, acting confused, then giggled again at his glare. “I’m sorry.”

“Nope, don’t accept it,” he said, turning his face away as she tried to kiss him.

“Harry, don’t be mean,” she murmured, pouting.

“Don’t be mean?!” he quoted incredulously, then scoffed. “Rich coming from you.”

“I was only playing,” she said, reaching for his hands.

“How about we make a deal?” he said, turning his blue eyes to hers. “I’ll forgive you and pretend that never happened, as long as you don’t mention my birthday for the rest of the day.”

“Can I at least give you your presents first?”

He hesitated, then nodded. “Fine, if you must.”

“Well, if you don’t want them I’ll take them back,” she replied cheekily, clambering off the bed. Her bump was large, and she struggled, losing her balance slightly, but Harry’s hands gently steadied her. “You wait here!”

He sat back on the bed, unable to stop a smile from flitting across his face at her excitement. Emmy loved giving gifts, and she loved watching him unwrap them even more.

“So, can I expect another pack of condoms this year?” he asked, grinning as she returned, then his face fell. “Oh, Emmy! You shouldn’t have!”

Her arms were full of gifts, delicately wrapped in colourful shiny wrapping paper with enormous bows on each. She shrugged, setting them down on the mattress before struggling back onto the bed beside him.

“I wanted to,” she said. “Besides, it’s your birth-”

“Uh uh, don’t say it,” he said quickly.

“You’re such a wuss,” she replied, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Open them! Open them!”

“I feel like you’re more excited than I am,” he mused, kissing her temple before reaching for the cards. There was a pile of cards, many of which had their address on the front and therefore had been received in the post. There was another, which just said Harry x. Harry guessed that was from Emmy, so he picked that one up first. There was a small one underneath it that said Daddy.

His eyes widened. “What’s this?”

He could feel the excitement rolling off her as she sat up, watching him tear the envelope of the mystery card. 

On the front, there was a sketched ginger guy, wearing a crown, with a little baby in his arms. Across the top, it read Happy Birthday Daddy!

Harry felt his throat close up with emotion and disbelief. He hadn’t expected this, not at all, and he hastily swallowed, urging himself not to cry.

Emmy was watching with her lip tugged between her teeth. 

Inside, Emmy had written on behalf of their little bump.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

I can’t wait to meet you! I know you’re going to be the best Daddy ever!

Thank you for taking care of me and Mummy!

Love you lots,

From 

Your Little Princess, Bump

That did it. Harry felt tears prickle in his eyes.

“Emmy,” he gasped croakily, turning to her. “Em, this is lovely.”

She broke into a smile. “You like it? I wasn’t sure-”

Before she could finish, he’d captured her mouth with his own and was urgently pressing all the emotion he felt into their kiss. Finally, when he pulled away, Emmy felt her own tears coming. She was so happy that he liked it.

“I cannot put into words how much I love this,” he breathed, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “Is this me?”

“Mm-hmm,” she said, smiling. “That shop down Knightsbridge, they do personalized handmade cards. I got Claire to order it – I asked for a ginger prince with a baby. Apparently the woman in the shop looked at Claire for a while, as though she was trying to figure out whether it was me or not.”

He grinned, chuckling before carefully slipping the card back into its envelope. “Alright, presents.”

He opened the remainder of the cards before making a start on the gifts, and he was not disappointed. Emmy had gotten him tickets to a gig that one of his favourite bands was playing in a month’s time, she’d gotten him a new strap for his favourite watch, a handful of CDs that he wanted, a new tie – this time with dinosaurs on it – some new jumpers and, finally, an empty photo album.

“It’s empty,” he mused, worried that he was missing something.

On the front it had a slot for a picture, and across the top it said My First Year. 

“It’s an album so you can take a picture of our baby every day, and put them in here, and see how she changes over her first year,” Emmy said. “I know you love photography, I thought you might enjoy this.”

“Oh I do, it’s lovely,” he said, grinning. “Oh Em, you put so much thought into these.”

She giggled as he leant down to kiss her. “Happy birthday,” she said against his lips.

“Dammit, I didn’t even get to stop you that time,” he muttered. “That’s it, okay? Presents are done, so it’s officially not my birthday anymore.”

“I’m not allowed to say anything about it being your birthday?” she asked innocently.

“Nope,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t remind me that I’m getting any older, alright?”

“So I’m not allowed to say anything?” she repeated, acting confused.

He paused, now worried. “Why?” he asked slowly.

“Well,” she said, now looking very smug indeed. “I promise to pretend it’s not your birthday, but I can’t promise that everyone else will.”

Horror slowly started to dawn on Harry’s face. “What did you do?” he whispered.

She giggled in delight. “We’re going to William and Kate’s this afternoon.”

That wasn’t as bad as he had expected. He relaxed. “Phew, I thought you’d organised a party or something-”

“And all your cousins are going to be there,” she finished, now looking worried.

Harry silenced. They sat in silence for a few moments, Emmy now concerned that she’d ruined his birthday, Harry wondering what the chances were that he could bribe his cousins not to mention the fact that he was 32 today.

Eventually, he said, “You’re lucky I love you.”

She broke into a smile. “So you’ll go?”

“Of course. I can’t exactly not show up, can I?” He grinned. “I mean, it’s my birthday.”

“See!” she said, laughing. “I knew that you were happy it was your birthday really!”

“Uncle Harry!” George cried in delight, running over and dive-bombing Harry as soon as William had opened the door. Harry laughed, bending down to pick up his nephew and blow a raspberry on his cheek. 

“What do we have to say to Uncle Harry, George?” William said, standing aside to let Harry and Emmy in.

“Happy Birthday!” George yelled, throwing his arms round his uncle’s neck and hugging him tightly. Harry chuckled, squeezing his tiny body back.

“Thanks, Georgie,” Harry mused, sitting him back on his hip and grinning. “Have you got me some birthday cake?”

“Oh sure, now you’re happy it’s your birthday,” Emmy said dryly, following William through into the living room. 

William chuckled. “He’s not being difficult about getting old, is he?” He tutted at his younger brother, grinning. “You’ll always be younger than me, if that helps.”

“Gee thanks,” Harry said, grinning too. “Looks like I’m only two years away from being bald then.”

William scowled at his brother’s teasing. “It’s not too late for me to return your present, you know.”

“Uncoo! Uncoo!” Charlotte babbled, getting to her feet and toddling out into the hallway to meet them. “Uncoo!”

“Hello, Charlotte!” Harry gasped happily, then looked at George. “How about you go and give Auntie Emmy a cuddle, yeah? I’ll say hello to your sister.”

Emmy smiled as George ran over to her, crouching down to pull him into a hug. “Are you okay, Georgie? Are you still enjoying nursery?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” George said, taking her hand and leading her further down the hallway. “Lots of people here.”

“Really? Is Auntie Zara here?”

“Yeah, and Uncle Mike,” George said. “And Mia.”

“Oh, Mia. You like playing with Mia, don’t you?”

“She’s funny,” he answered, by way of agreement. 

They reached the large living room then, and an outcry of Happy Birthday! greeted Harry as he followed Emmy into the room. Surprised, he blushed deeply, ducking his head at everyone. 

The room was packed – Zara, Mike and Mia were there, along with Peter, Autumn, Savannah and Isla. Beatrice and Dave were there, as was Eugenie. Harry’s aunt Sophie was also there with James and Louise. Kate was stood in the doorway, holding Lupo back so he couldn’t attack the newcomers, wanting hugs.

Mike guffawed at Harry’s reaction. “Did we make you blush, birthday boy?” he teased, as Kate pulled Harry into a hug.

“Happy birthday!” she said, cuddling him. He looked at her with playful sternness in his face.

“Was this all you?”

“Well, mainly Emmy,” Kate replied, shrugging and grinning over at her sister-in-law. “But I helped.”

“Ah, so you’re both to blame,” Harry said, shaking his head, his eyes on Emmy. She laughed, moving out of his hold. As she did so, a red flash threw herself at Harry.

“Harry, happy birthday!” Beatrice said excitedly, forcing a hug on him. “How old are you today?”

“Too old,” he grumbled. “But thanks, Bea.”

As Harry’s cousins one by one greeted him and wished him happy birthday, Bea came over and hugged Emmy.

“Not long now, huh?” she asked, eyes on her bump.

“Hmm, two months,” Emmy said, then made a fearful face. “She’s getting close now.”

“It’s so exciting,” Autumn mused, from where she was sat. “It’s so lovely to have a new baby coming into the family again.”

“Funny how its another girl,” Zara said. “Looks like George is still the alpha male.”

George looked up at his name, and frowned. “Alpha?”

“We’re saying that you’re going to be the only boy and you’ll have lots of girl cousins,” Kate said to him, stroking his hair. 

“I look after them all,” he said, with a ‘duh’ in his voice, as though that was his job, as sole male. 

“Aw, you’re going to look after them?” Kate said, her heart melting with pride. “Just like you look after Charlotte, right?”

He nodded. “Is Uncle Harry and Auntie Emmy baby a girl?”

“Yes, they’re going to have a little girl,” William told his son. “So you can look after her, because she’s going to be very small when she gets here.”

“Ya!” he said excitedly. 

It was raining outside, so they all stayed in William and Kate’s apartment. The children ended up going into the playroom, leaving all the adults to chat and to open Harry’s presents. Harry sat on the main sofa, with Emmy beside him, watching him as he still tried to overlook the fact that it was his birthday. 

“What did Emmy get you?” Zara asked, as Harry opened the card from her and Mike.

“A whole lot of lovin’, probably,” Mike grinned, and Emmy blushed as Harry rolled his eyes at him. 

“She got me a lot of bits,” Harry answered. “Tickets to a gig, CDs, a shirt, that sort ot thing. Oh, she also got me a photo album, where I can put pictures of our daughter in it, one for every day of the year, and we can see how she changes.”

“Oh wow, that sounds amazing!” Autumn said. “You never notice them changing, their hair getting longer, their cheeks getting chubby – it’ll be so good to see that.”

“I wish we’d done something like that for George and Charlotte,” William mused, leaning against the doorframe. 

“I’m so excited for the little one to get here,” Beatrice told Harry and Emmy. “I don’t know, I just feel like we need another little one to bring us all together. William and Kate are always up in Norfolk, and Zara and Mike are in Cheltenham and…I don’t know, we just always seem like we never spend any time together.” She pouted.

“Beatrice, you’re always in New York anyway,” Eugenie said, laughing. 

“But I’ll be coming back more and more now,” Beatrice replied, with a pout. “I just find it difficult. I’m only ever in London when I’m here.”

“And Mike and I might actually be moving a little closer to London,” Zara said. “Mike’s getting a new job, working with the rubgy association, so we’ll be moving house.”

“Oh yay!” Beatrice said. “I just wish we did more stuff together, is all. I can feel Harry judging me.”

Harry chuckled then. “You’re married now, Bea, it’s your turn to pop out a baby.”

Beatrice rolled her eyes. “Not any time soon, let’s get your baby out of the way, huh?”

His gaze flickered to Emmy’s bump, and Emmy noticed; she felt herself melting under his glance and she nuzzled her face against his shoulder, cuddling into him as he snaked his arm round her. 

“So what are we doing, Kate?” Peter mused. “Is there cake anytime soon?”

“Are we playing party games?” Mike asked, then his eyes lit up with delight. “Oh, come on, that’s a brilliant idea!”

Kate rolled her eyes, amused. “We’ll do whatever birthday boy wants to do.”

“Ugh, don’t ask him,” Emmy said, frowning playfully. “He’ll send all of us home.”

Beatrice piped up. “I like Mike’s idea! We can pretend we’re little again and we can play snakes and ladders.”

“Snakes and ladders?” Harry snorted.

“Emmy probably isn’t old enough to know what that is,” Mike teased, grinning at her. She rolled her eyes. “How about Twister, that’s always a laugh.”

“Twister?” Eugenie said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, how old are we?”

“Don’t be a spoilsport,” Beatrice said, pouting at her sister. “Can we play Twister?! Please?!” She turned to Kate, who gestured to Harry. Beatrice turned her wide eyes to her cousin.

Harry looked away. “Do what you want, Bea, I’ll just be watching.”

That earned a lot of outraged comments, mainly from Beatrice, Peter and Mike, who were now determined to get Harry on the Twister mat and make all sorts of weird shapes with his body. 

“Emmy won’t be able to play,” Harry finally said, his last chance at escaping the game. “I’ll sit here and keep her company.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about me,” Emmy answered, pushing him to his feet as Peter set the game up. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’d rather stay with you,” he said, acting nonplussed. “You know, make sure you’re okay.”

“To be frank, Harry, I’m sick of you, I need some alone time,” she replied playfully, grinning up at him. His face fell into a scowl.

“Oh you’re going to pay for that later,” he said, his voice dropped, but before he could come up with another excuse, Beatrice had grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the mat. 

Kate watched with Emmy as all the cousins, along with Mike and Autumn, played Twister. They struggled and they stretched, Harry trying to act like he couldn’t care less whether he won or lost but in reality trying very hard to not make a fool of himself. 

Once Mike had eventually collapsed onto them all, forcing them all onto the floor and losing the game, they moved onto the Nintendo Wii. Emmy pulled Harry back down beside her as Mike, Peter, William and Zara started a race on Mario Kart.

“You still mad that I organised a party?” she said to him, as his arm stretched out along the back of the chair behind her, giving her room to move into his chest. 

“I was never mad,” he mused, grinning. “Besides, it’s not really a party.”

From across the room, Kate’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse you, me and Emmy tried really hard.”

“Well, there’s no alcohol, is there?” he replied, trying to backtrack before his sister-in-law or his wife could take offence. 

“Your wife is pregnant,” Kate answered, frowning with what was now evidently mock-anger. 

“Yeah Harry,” Mike said, not taking his eyes off the screen. 

“You’re so ungrateful,” she added.

“Yeah Harry,” Mike said again, smirking at the screen.

“Piss off, Mike,” Harry said, shoving him so that his controller moved and his character Wario went crashing into the wall. Mike roared with dismay as Harry and Beatrice laughed.

Zara smirked at her husband. “Serves you right,” she teased, as her character Toad went zooming past Wario.

“Oh you better watch out,” Mike said menacingly. “I’ve got a red shell. Come here, Zara! Suck on this!”

Emmy’s eyes widened at Mike’s teasing, thinking that it was starting to get very competitive. But beside her Harry burst into laughter as Zara got hit by the shell, chuckling at his cousin’s furious expression, and Emmy relaxed into him.

“Damn, look at William go,” Eugenie mused. “You’re always playing this, aren’t you?”

“How else would he get so good?” Peter teased.

“When Kate goes to bed he stays out here, practicing in secret,” Harry added, grinning at his brother, who finished the race and turned to him, also grinning.

“Hey, that was one time, alright?” he said. “And Kate was mad at me.”

“And you thought it was a good idea to play video games to make me less mad at you,” Kate said lightly, shaking her head slightly at him. He smiled at her, reaching over for her hand and kissing the back of it.

“Bleugh, it’s sickening,” Mike said. 

“Too much love in one room, ugh,” Peter repeated, grinning. “We can all hold it in, do you two mind?”

“Not in the slightest,” William replied, pointedly looking at his cousin before leaning over to kiss Kate’s lips. 

Emmy very rarely saw William and Kate show any physical affection, not in public nor in private, and she was surprised by how much it surprised her. It brought back memories of watching their wedding on the TV, five years earlier. It was very endearing to see.

“Harry, your turn,” Zara said, handing him the controller.

“Oh no, I’m happy just watching,” Harry replied, trying to wave it away.

“Scared you’re going to lose, brother?” William teased, smirking.  

Harry’s eyes narrowed, then he swore under his breath before taking the remote from Zara and scowling. “You’re going down, Wills.”

“Ha!” William barked a laugh. “I don’t think so.”

Peter, who had come second-to-last, had given his controller to Beatrice, and now her, Harry, William and Mike waited for the countdown to the start of the next race.

“Go easy on me, guys,” she said.

“No promises,” Mike replied. She shoved him.

“It’s my birthday,” Harry said, now worried that he might lose in front of Emmy, but not wanting to seem worried. “You know you have to let me win. It’s the rules.”

“Funny, I thought it wasn’t your birthday?” William said, grinning.

Harry scowled. “The second I get a red shell I’m sending it your way.”

“Good luck,” William said, smirking openly now, taunting his younger brother.

“Maybe you should all look out for Beatrice,” Emmy mused, adjusting herself so she could see the screen better. “I think she’s the dark horse here.”

Beatrice shook her head. “No, Emmy, don’t root for me, I’ve only ever played this once. I came last.”

“Oh,” Emmy said, then, playfully, she added, “Mike, I think you can beat these two.”

“Hey!” Harry said to her, as the race started and they were off. “Some wife you are! I expect you want me to lose, don’t you?”

Emmy giggled, nuzzling into him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead while not removing his attention from the screen.

“Fuck,” he hissed, as Mike hit him with a bomb. “Mike!”

Mike guffawed. “Sorry not sorry.”

“Come on, William,” Kate mused, her eyes fixed on the screen.

“God, can someone at least want me to win?” Harry complained playfully.

“I was only joking,” Emmy said to him, kissing his jaw. “I want you to win really. If you don’t, I won’t be happy.”

He chuckled. “Stop distracting me.”

“He’s just saying that in case he loses,” Mike said. “And then he’ll blame you, you know.”

“It’s true,” William said. “That’s my excuse everytime I lose.”

Zara barked a laugh. “Ooh woah! Go Harry!”

Harry had just overtaken William, who swore.

“If you beat me, I’m not going to be happy,” he said.

Harry merely laughed. “Prepare to not be happy then, Wills.”

“Mike!” William cried, as he was hit by a fireball. “Oh my god, Bea!”

Beatrice giggled. She’d just gotten a Bullet Bill, and she knocked him off the edge as she went past.

“Is William…last?” Harry said, pretending to be shocked. “Oh wow, how the tables have turned.”

“I’m letting you win, it’s your birthday, remember?” William said, with mock-bitterness tainting his tone.

“Yeah, but it’s not Bea’s birthday, is it?” Zara teased.

“Shhh, Zara, I’m actually not last for once!” Beatrice said, tongue sticking out as she focused. 

Harry crossed the finish line in first place, and those watching cheered. Emmy clapped her hands.

“I knew you’d win,” she said playfully. 

“You didn’t really give me a choice,” he replied, grinning at her and rubbing her back and she threw herself into a hug. “Sorry, William, hate to break your winning streak.”

William smiled and shook his head. “It’s fine. It’s your birthday, after all.”

“It is!” Kate said, then jumped up. “Time for cake?”

“Cake?” George said; he’d just toddled into the room, closely followed by Savannah. “Mummy, can we have cake!”

“Of course you can,” Kate said. “I’m going to go and get it, can you bring your sister and cousins in, Georgie?”

The little boy toddled off, already shouting, “Lottie, Lottie! Cake!”

Harry smiled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “You shouldn’t have got me cake,” he said, looking embarrassed.

“If you tell us to forget it’s your birthday one more time,” Mike said, grinning. “Honestly, most of us are older than you, what’s the big deal?”

Harry didn’t want to admit it, but the problem was the person who wasn’t older than him – Emmy. He hated getting older, mainly because it just seemed to increase the age gap between them. He was 32, she was 21. He was at the ideal age to be settling down and starting a family, she was at the age to be going out with her friends, getting drunk and having a good time with lots of different guys. She shouldn’t be settled down yet – he desperately didn’t want her to realise everything she was missing out on. 

Charlotte, George, Isla and Mia came running in then, and Charlotte toddled over to Harry, wanting cuddles. He scooped her onto his lap.

“Hey, Charlotte,” he mused, bouncing her on his knees. “Are you going to have some birthday cake?”

“Yah!” she said, clapping her hands. Harry chuckled at her.

Emmy reached over for Charlotte’s tiny hand, playing with her fingers, and Charlotte turned her brown eyes to her, before breaking into a toothy beam. Emmy laughed too. 

The lights went off then, before Kate appeared, her face illuminated by the lights from the candles, and the room starting singing “Happy Birthday”. Beside him, Emmy watched Harry’s face, her heart lifting with delight and relief at the smile on his face. He grinned as he blew out the candles, remembering to make a wish before holding Charlotte up so she could have a look at the caterpillar cake from above. She cooed with delight, before Harry pulled her back into his arms once more.

“Did you make a wish?” Emmy asked later on, once they were walking back over to Nott Cott, hand in hand, laden down with Harry’s gifts from his cousins.

“Maybe, maybe not,” he said, throwing her a grin. “I’m not telling you if I did.”

She pouted. “Not even after everything I’ve done for you today?”

“What have I got to wish for?” he mused, his blue eyes feasting on her face. “I’ve got everything I ever wanted right here now.”

Emmy’s insides melted. “I love you so much.”

He broke into a smile. “I love you too,” he said. “I always will, you know that.”

And that had been his wish – for Emmy to always love him back, for Emmy to never get bored of this perfect little family life they had, for her to never realise everything she’d missed out on, for her to stand by his side until the end of their days. 

That had been the wish he had chosen. It was a tough choice between that one, and wishing that his father and grandparents could just leave him and Emmy alone. He just wanted to be able to live his life with the woman he loved. 

And he wanted her to never stop loving him back. 

#historyrepeatsitself-phff #Prince Harry #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Character Names in Eleutherophobia

Since I’ve had a few people ask me about the character names in Eleutherophobia, I figured I’d run down the whole list.  These names are approximately in order of appearance in my various fics.  To be clear: this is not crossover fiction.  These are supposed to be nods to these characters, not the characters themselves.  Bearing that in mind, in approximate order of appearance:

Day the Earth Stood Still

Essa 412: a yeerkanization of “Boy 412,” the main character of the Septimus Heap series.  In my opinion, the second best treatment of the impact of war on children ever written into a modern fantasy series.

Leslie Burke: the deuteragonist of Bridge to Terabithia.  The character always reminded me of a younger Rachel, so I chose to give the name to the bearer of Rachel’s death.

Anne Shirley: the main character of Anne of Green Gables, who often goes underestimated for the extent to which she is a tough, complex, socially awkward heroine written in 1908.

George Little: the younger brother of the title character of Stuart Little.  Mostly named because I wanted to give David a last name that implied cowardice without being ridiculously obvious about it.

Lost World

[Steve] Carlsberg: the not-quite-antagonist of Welcome to Night Vale.

Akira 

Dr. Miranda Franklin: named for Miranda of Dr. Franklin’s Island.  Kind of a pun on my part: the plot of that book involves one of the main characters involuntarily turning into an anaconda. 

Jennifer Murdley: titular character of Jennifer Murdley’s Toad, one of the books in Bruce Coville’s Magic Shop series who learns the very hard way to love herself. 

Mrs. [Hannah] Gruen: Nancy Drew’s housekeeper.

THX 1138

Joey Costello: the deuteragonist of Tangerine, a story about two boys who have very different sets of troubles with their respective older brothers. 

Dr. Pendanski: one of the incompetent counselors from Holes by Louis Sachar.

Jodi O’Shea: far and away my most pointed literary allusion.  Jodi is a minor character in The Host by Stephenie Meyer, a book which I love (except for the extremely problematic ending, but I’ll get back to that). The Host is essentially a love story between a yeerk (Wanda) and a human (Ian) whose entire plot is driven by consent negotiations.  It’s about Wanda and Ian wishing they could be together but knowing they never will because they can’t be without violating the right to consent of the yeerk’s host, Melanie.  Melanie, meanwhile, is in love with a different guy... Who can’t be with her either without violating Wanda’s right to consent.

[SPOILER WARNING] Eventually Ian resolves this love quadrangle by putting Wanda inside a human (“Pet,” and don’t get me started on that name) who has been a controller for so long that she has forgotten how to exert her own conscious will.  Wanda and Ian presumably do the horizontal tango using that host instead, AND THIS IS TREATED AS A HAPPY ENDING.  Jodi O’Shea also meets the same fate as Pet: Jodi has forgotten how to feed herself or move on her own, so her own husband decides that they should just put her yeerk, Sunny, back in her head.  Sunny claims that Jodi is brain-dead... But Sunny is also strongly motivated to lie.  (There are also implications that Jodi’s husband becomes romantically involved with Sunny instead, a plot which is so horrifying it deserves its own blog post.)  Most importantly, all the main characters are really happy that these poor hosts are vegetables.  There is an entire subpopulation of humans who have become entirely dependent on their alien slave masters for survival... and this fact is treated as the solution to all the characters’ problems.  It’s celebrated.  And, yeah, both THX 1138 and Ghost in the Shell contain some pretty pointed commentary from me on why I find this ending to be so deeply unfortunate.  [END SPOILERS]

Ghost in the Shell

Mary Lennox: the main character of The Secret Garden, the first book without pictures I ever read on my own. 

Rose Rita: main character of The Letter, the Witch, and the Ring, and arguably one of the first genderqueer characters to make it into a children’s fantasy novel.

Margaret White: the antagonist of Stephen King’s novel Carrie, obsessed with preserving the innocence (and thus the dependent ignorance) of her teenage daughter.

Sophie Hatter: main character of Howl’s Moving Castle, who does in fact make her own clothes.

[Mr.] Broxholm: the titular alien from My Teacher Flunked the Planet by Bruce Coville, one of the most awesome and profound children’s sci-fi novels I have ever read.

Anita Psammead: a nod to The Five Children and It by E. Nesbitt, one of the first ever fantasy novels written for children. 

Miss Zarves: the teacher from Sideways Stories from Wayside School who doesn’t exist, because she was accidentally assigned to teach on a floor that was never built.

Nikto 770: nod to the code phrase in Day the Earth Stood Still (the original movie, not my fic).

Kit Rodriguez: the deuteragonist of the Young Wizards series, known for his passion and tendency to care deeply for others.

Aristotle “Ari” [Mendoza]: main character of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Dante [Quintana]: main character of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

Gabriel “G.T.” Stoop: the main character’s mentor in Hope Was Here.

Elijah Springfield: a teen detective from the Veritas Project series.

Lydia [Bennett]: supporting character from Pride and Prejudice.

Nick Adams: a recurring Ernest Hemingway character.

T.J. Avery: next door neighbor to the Logan family in Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry.

Cecily Tallis: the narrator’s older sister (and unwitting victim) in Atonement by Ian McEwan. 

Maybeth Tillerman: one of the main characters in Homecoming by Cynthia Voight, a book that critics like to describe as “the anti-Boxcar Children” for its unflinchingly realistic portrayal of childhood homelessness.

June Boatwright: one of the protagonist’s mentors in The Secret Life of Bees.

Caitlin Somers: a Judy Blume character from Summer Sisters.

Alex Morales: main character of The Dead and the Gone by Susan Beth Pfeffer.

Cooper-Trebond: shortening of “Alanna Cooper of Trebond” the name of the main character of Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness series.

Jesse Hauptman: the protagonist’s stepdaughter and mentee in the Mercy Thompson series.

Timmy Dugan: lesser-known real name of WWII comic book hero Dum Dum Dugan, sidekick to Nick Fury and Howling Commando as part of the Marvel universe. 

Luke Castellan and Chris Rodriguez: two of the supporting characters from Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  I wouldn’t say that Luke Castellan is the first meatsuit I ever fell in love with (despite him being basically a voluntary controller and also a human dumpster fire), but I would say that he made my tendency to care too much about meatsuits in general about 1000 times worse.

“Cornelius”: okay, this one is in fact a crossover—that’s meant to be Tyler Durden, main character of Chuck Palahnuick’s Fight Club. He’s a schizophrenic, lonely guy who goes to support groups for various traumas that he never actually survived (usually under the fake name Cornelius) because that’s the only way he knows how to connect to people. 

Odette: the protagonist of Swan Lake and several subsequent adaptations, including Mercedes Lackey’s awesome The Black Swan.

Rod Allbright: another character from My Teacher is an Alien, because I love that series. 

Officer Nice: a nod to the song of the same name by Vio-Lence, one of my few non-literary allusions.

Gerald “Jerry” Cruncher: a guy who works as a porter (and remover of bodies) in of A Tale of Two Cities. 

Paul Edgecombe: main character of The Green Mile, a deeply conflicted prison guard who gets cast as Pontius Pilate in a modern-day gospel retelling.

Kate Malone: narrator of Laurie Halse Anderson’s amazingly powerful novel Catalyst.

Mae Tuck: matriarch of the titular immortal clan from Tuck Everlasting.

Annie Hughes: one of the main characters from The Iron Giant.

Kirsten Larson: one of the first characters from the American Girl series, an immigrant from Sweden who struggles to acclimate to the United States.

Adah Price: one of the co-narrators of The Poisonwood Bible, a disabled polymath who loves palindromes and puzzles.

Iris Chase: a society lady and heiress from The Blind Assassin, which chronicles family dysfunction and its unique impact on women over several generations. 

Dawn Schafer: part of the enormous rotating cast of protagonists from The Babysitters’ Club series, and one of my favorite characters as a kid.

Henry Case: main character of the genre-creating cyberpunk novel Neuromancer.

Parvana Weera: a tough, outgoing young woman whose struggle to keep her family safe during the American invasion of her home in Afghanistan forms the main plot of The Breadwinner.

Raven Madison: main character of Vampire Kisses, who spends a little too much time in her intense fantasy worlds and not quite enough connected to reality. 

Mr. [Bob] Grey: pseudonym used by the creature also known as Pennywise the Clown and simply “It” in several of Stephen King’s novels.

Ms. [Mary] Logan: mother of the main character in Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry, because I love that book.

Karana Nicoleño: although Karana, the main character of Island of the Blue Dolphins, doesn’t technically have a last name, her tribe is historically referred to as the Nicoleño.

Total Recall 

Vicky Austin: main character of A Ring of Endless Light, a book about coming to terms with dying—and about the many complex shades of victim blaming that can occur in light of unquantifiable tragedy.

Samuel Cornick: roommate to the eponymous Mercy Thompson of the bestselling Patricia Briggs series, a werewolf-doctor who continuously struggles to find meaning in an excessively long life and one of my favorite characters of all time.

The Thing from Another World

Seth Clearwater: a minor character in Eclipse, one of the youngest werewolves of the Quileute pack.

Captain William Nasland: one of the more obscure characters to hold the title Captain America; retconned into the role following Steve Rogers’s “death” in 1945.  Acts as both a hero and a villain because he has a well-intentioned but also closed-minded idea of what Captain America should be. 

Allison Chapman: main character of Sharing Sam, K.A. Applegate’s lesser-known novel about teenage basketball geeks who back their way into understanding the life, the universe, and everything.

Simon Grace: one of the main characters of the Spiderwick Chronicles.

Giselle Villard: one of the main characters from the Mystic comic book series who is awesome, tough... and more than a little power-hungry.

As far as I can tell, that’s it for the character names in Eleutherophobia.  I mentioned here why Marco’s last name is Alvarez and Cassie’s is Day in my series.  There are a few dozen other allusions as well (Tom and Bonnie bastardizing the “tears in the rain” speech from Blade Runner, Cassie quoting the epigraph from Home of the Brave, several nods to Remnants and Everworld and The One and Only Ivan, Marco making jokes about Lost World and Alien) and obviously all my fic titles are from classic sci-fi movies while all my song nods are The Best of 1990—2000, but as far as I know that’s it for allusions. If there are any that I missed, or that you’re still wondering about, let me know and I’ll happily clarify.

#eleutherophobia #animorphs #animorphs fic #writing #ya sf

[actutrends]

‘This Is Us’ Recap: Kevin Gets A Surprising Call & The Episode Ends With A Major Cliffhanger

‘This Is Us’ returned in 2020 with one of its most shocking episodes yet. The final moments of the winter premiere featured a jaw-dropping cliffhanger regarding one of the Big Three.

When Kate and Toby get home, they immediately address the elephant in the room: the CrossFit text chain. Kate wants an explanation for Toby trash-talking her. He says that he just needed to vent and it was a mistake. Kate wants to know about one person in particular when it comes to the texts. Her name is Kara. “Kate, we are just friends. I promise. You have nothing to worry about,” Toby stresses. Kate doesn’t push any further. She believes Toby.

Randall is busy looking up neurologists for Rebecca to see. When he makes an appointment, he flies across the country to be with his mother. He doesn’t tell Kate or Kevin about it. Miguel is a little upset that Randall is taking control of Rebecca but keeps quiet. At the doctor’s office, Randall wants the results immediately because he has to leave. Rebecca goes through a series of tests while Miguel and Randall wait. Miguel uses this time to bring up that he’s perfectly capable of taking care of Rebecca. Randall says that he only spent one day with Rebecca and knew something was off. “How could you not see it?” Randall asks Miguel, who says the memory loss could just be a sign Rebecca is getting older. They don’t see eye-to-eye on Rebecca and they’re both extremely territorial.

While they wait for the test results, Rebecca recalls a memory of Randall as a child. Randall was always an early riser so Rebecca would rock him on her lap and they would watch the light change through the curtains as the sun came up. She would listen to Joni Mitchell while holding baby Randall. Rebecca, Miguel, and Randall are soon called in for the results.

Back in the past, things are a little uneasy for Jack and Rebecca after his golf date with her dad. She invites him to her dad’s birthday party and Jack is immediately hesitant. What Rebecca’s dad said about not being good enough echoes in his mind. At dinner, Jack tells Rebecca that they should take a break. “We’re just too different,” he says. While Rebecca is eating at the country club, Jack is just trying to make ends meet. He’s a part-time mechanic. He doesn’t think he fits in her life. He can’t even afford to tip the waiter. Jack leaves a stunned Rebecca at the table.

At her dad’s birthday party, Rebecca admits to her mother that she’s in love with Jack. Rebecca’s mother doesn’t think Jack is dependable and it’s scary for her to see Rebecca with someone like Jack. She admits that Dave got into Jack’s head and now it all makes sense to Rebecca. She leaves the party immediately to go and see Jack. Rebecca finds him at work. She doesn’t want Jack to listen to anything her father says because it doesn’t matter. “I’m in love with you, Jack,” she says. “You and I are going to have it all together… it’s going to be one for the ages.” Jack quickly says “I love you” back. Swoon.

Kevin’s hired a matchmaker to find a wife by 40 and it’s not going well. While getting coffee with Kate, Kevin sees a beautiful woman, played by Sophia Bush, across the room. He goes up to her and she drops her phone in front of him. Her name is Lizzy. They immediately hit it off and Kevin is smitten until she reveals she’s flying home the next day. She’s “still a Chicago girl.”

Kevin wants to spend more time with her before she leaves so he takes her to the Hollywood Bowl. He sets up the cutest little date and has John Legend, her favorite artist, perform.  Meanwhile, Kate invites all of Toby’s CrossFit buddies to the house. One of his friends admits that he hasn’t seen Toby since he switched gyms two weeks ago. This revelation takes Kate by surprise.

The doctor reveals that Rebecca has mild cognitive impairment. She’s also showing signs of spatial dysfunction. Before the doctor puts any label on what’s wrong with Rebecca, she wants to do more blood tests and an MRI. This could be normal memory loss or it could be the sign of something worse.

After everyone leaves the party, Kate and Toby have another heart-to-heart. He confesses that Kara tried to kiss him and that’s why he switched gyms. Kate wonders why he didn’t tell her and calls him out for avoiding her. “I feel you pulling away,” she admits. Toby says his long hours at the gym and the tension has nothing to do with her. When he looks at Jack, it just makes him sad. “Sad that he’ll never see the ocean. Sad that he’ll never know what we look like. Sad that he’ll never watch Star Wars,” Toby says. He goes to the gym and vents because he doesn’t want to see the look on Kate’s face that she has now. Kate admits that his birthday present is a retreat for parents with blind children. She thought that’s something he would like but now she’s questioning everything.

When Rebecca steps away, Miguel breaks down in front of Randall. He’s so worried about Rebecca and promises to track everything about her progress or decline. At the Hollywood Bowl, Lizzy and Kevin kiss! She soon breaks it off. She has a confession to make: SHE IS MARRIED! Apparently, Kevin is her “hall pass,” the one person that she could sleep with and it wouldn’t be cheating. She’s been texting her husband all day, not her mom. Lizzy quickly grabs her things and bolts. Kevin is back at square one.

While baby Jack sits in his high chair, Kate notices that he’s staring at the pineapple lights. She calls Toby into the kitchen. Jack’s reaching for the lights! The doctor told them that Jack might start to see light and shadows. Kate and Toby are overjoyed.

While on set, Kevin vents and says he’s convinced that he’s not meant to have an epic love story like his parents. As he walks away, Sophie calls him! When Randall comes home, he checks in on his girls as they sleep. When he goes downstairs, he sees a stranger standing in the middle of his kitchen. Randall finds himself face-to-face with a BURGLAR!

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