#also the gender binary isnt real etc etc but when they do it for male characters. that’s not how it workS

[clueless1995]

people who just add -ette to the hair colour of the character they’re referring to will face my wrath in the afterlife. pinkette. silverette. purplette. bluette. ravenette. USE THEIR NAME FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#i may have just read my first fanfic in like a decade #also the gender binary isnt real etc etc but when they do it for male characters. that’s not how it workS #i get annoyed enough at blonde vs blond and brunette vs brunet (though i will admit the ette version is more aesthetically appealing) #to then bring it into the realm of OTHER COLOURS #just say pink haired person. or use their name

[uter-us]

"magic gender feelings"

hey yall! gonna clarify stuff abt this post

outside of and including radfems, there are many reasons a woman might not "feel" like a woman. a huuuuge notable one is that we live in a world where women are not valued the way men are and that is reflected in media and politics and interpersonal experiences and like every second ever. of course a woman or girl might not "feel" like the caricature, stereotype, or role that is thrust upon women. she might not feel the same way the rest of the word "feels" a woman should be. that is not "called being nonbinary," its just a normal reaction to misogyny

additionally, when radfems say they do not "feel" like a woman, its often heavy on the word feel, in that we simply are women and our womanhood is not tied to an internal ("magic gender") feeling. (fyi ik the "magic" part is j lighthearted and a joke, but the content of the message applies.) that is why i do not "feel" like a woman because i cannot "feel" something that is merely my reality. (i don't feel like i have curly hair, i just have curly hair.) most actual feelings i have regarding myself and my inner identity are merely aspects of my personality.

some comments:

->

(the person in the middle is being mean for no reason so ignore that)

i get the sentiment, and i can recognize that honestly in some ways it probably is much easier, but it's also not based in any material reality. and when denying (or just not completely understanding. im not attributing malice!) the subjugation an entire class of people face due to their sex, that is not a happy sparkly good vibe

i used to go by all pronouns and while never outwardly identified as "genderfluid" i heavily identified with it. and i do know that "vibe," and i cant describe the uniquely liberating experience it is to recognize that being a woman means nothing to my "vibe" or personality or anything like that.

i know the word "woman" takes on a lot, especially roles/stereotypes, but you don't ever have to reflect that in your actions. you can vibe with what makes you happy without attributing it to not being your observed sex. like you can legitimately do and be whatever you are doing while female and that qualifies as a woman!! theres nothing more to it!! its amazing!

when i hear radfems make the claim that "everyone would be nonbinary," it's more in the sentiment that no one 100% adheres entirely to the roles/expectations of man or woman, basically that to imply some people's "gender" or whatever IS binary is strange! not even the most tradwife or "alpha male" commits entirely to the role yk? not even they are 100% in either binary. it would be impossible, and every person inches out of these gendered expressions/performances/etc at LEAST from time to time (some more often than others, but it definitely is everybody)! so its just recognizing that sure there could be some "gender spectrum" but its far more real to acknowledge everyone is somewhere in the middle of these strict binaries than just a minor group of people. (at least that's my understanding of when radfems make that statement.)

lots of radfems used to be TRAs or trans-identified individuals-- even still have dysphoria-- and that contributed to their becoming radfems!! many radfems understand the pain of dysphoria, and their experience w medicalization and/or interpersonal experiences aid in their current understanding of gender ideology and what it means to be a woman. (also see below cuz i expand more on the other part, especially the last comment.)

the first comment i find so interesting because i think thats often the point. like often someone will claim they feel like a woman/man/nonbinary-person/etc or not, and are so sure of it. and because so much of this is dependent on the way you feel, one of the things that changed my mind abt gender ideology was j considering like, "how do i know this isnt the feeling of a woman? how do i know other women aren't experiencing this?" like even trans rights activists will state that not everyone "feels" being nonbinary the same way for example. so who's to say this feeling i feel is not also the feeling of a woman? yk? because chances are, theres a lot of other women feeling discomfort with their natal sex and perception/self-perception, and so much more!

so i'd ask anyone who says what the top comment says: if a woman is someone who feels like a woman, but you can't define or break down that feeling, how are you sure all of these women are feeling the same thing?

i consider myself a relatively patient person 99% of the time, but this is so aggravating! for anyone not in the loop, an egg is a term for someone who is trans but doesn't know it yet. hypocrisy is one of my greatest frustrations, cuz a huge TRA thing is that you can't tell other people if they are a man/woman/nonbinary-person/etc, and you always have to respect their identity, but apparently that doesn't apply now!!

its very invasive to push your own idea of what and who someone is onto them-- and no one can claim this "isn't pushing" when this individual has literally written (unsolicited) about a stranger's identity based off their own projections or preconceived ideas on what a woman should feel. and i get it, its the internet, people are gonna write whatever, but i have a right to be frustrated by it too!!

okay last one! if anyone knows where that post is or who made it, but basically i saw this post on here a while ago about how sometimes TRAs resemble some Christians. and the example was comparing something similar to the above circled comment, to an interaction between an atheist and a Christian thats something like. "I'm an atheist." "Oh, so you worship Satan?" and its like the idea that someone can't even consider outside of their view that their attempt to align you w it is entirely inaccurate, yk? like atheists don't worship Satan cuz they don't believe in him! and radfems/whoever don't have "a gender" cuz they don't believe in it (in the same sense tras do)!!

im sorry if i've come off super irritable writing this! i think im j frustrated for other reasons besides this, but i hope i don't come off especially unkind because i genuinly don't hold any hatred or discontentment w this person who made that tiktok, my point to this post is to clarify some of these comments because i see this idea all the time and when the radfem pov is misconstrued its much harder for TRAs to converse w us (cuz they arent really debating our ideas, but some other group w some other ideas). (i also dont speak for all radfems so keep that in mind too.) anyway if anyone disagrees/agrees or has corrections or needs clarification or anything feel free to reply!! :)

#radfem #radical feminist safe #sex based oppression #radblr #terfsafe #gender critical #terfblr #not j a reblog tag

[employee052]

final designs for da three nars! (well two, virgils had his for months now)

cecil (red) n jarvis (yellow) lookin drippeddddd skfjsjfjsjf

for some lore n more oz rambling they are under the cut!:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALRIGHT LESGO

Cecil:

Cecil is the fully human Narrator. (in the sense, the one who got his third swimming pool), he is a retired VA whos enjoying his life post tspud and is just overal chillin(tm)

The two new narrators are basically to cover the whole ground of narrater interpretations. (ie. some guy in his room recording, a guy in his room speaking but digital, and a fully digital entity)

so this is the one that is just a guy who voices in the game!

(this isnt meant to be kevan brighting, think of his source is the og game, but with the addition of the extra content(the ads, the raphael parable, the stuff on the dev logs, announcement videos, etc from crows crows crows as canon)

pronouns are he/him.

hes a cis male whos pan

Virgil:

THE OG, MY OG GUY

Virgil is the half digital, half human Narrator. He used to be a regular office worker before being shoved into a computer and thus, becoming the voice for the Parable

His source follows TSPUD, my au La Vie En Jaune, (which you can read more of here!), all the art ive done with him on this blog, and the other things the narrator has been in (ie. dota 2, dungeons, audiobooks etc)

However, after Stanley and the Narrator find each other and break past the hard coded locks of the pARable, they end up in a more lighter version of the parable, more akin to a world the narrator, stanley, and lynne can pop in and out of. while also having more control and hold on themselves and the world.

the narrator is the first one to pop out of the parable, thanks to character!oz (my sona and the one that exists in this blog)

once the narrator gets a better handle at the real world, stanley and lynne follow.

here, hes a guy whos lived the parable and become a new person when coming back out.

He can hop between digital areas and the real world. which is how he is still able to do stuff as the narrator for dota, and work for other projects like dungeons and the multi media videos on yt.

his pronouns are he/they

he is a demiboy who is demisexual and omnisexual

Jarvis:

Jarvis is the fully digital Narrator. He is the one who was created in the Parable as a string of code turned AI.

His source and canon is just TSP, TSPUD, the demo, and the half life mod. He's experienced everything in the games a thousand times over and more.

Basically, hes the guy who pops between being just a voice or an ai with a model that follows stanley around the parable. he has control over the parable (to an extent ie. timekeeper and the developers) and is the one who wrote the story itself.

There is not much more to say about him really ajdjahf but despite the design and context, he isnt that much different from virgil

hes just more defensive, and more lost with living irl.

his pronouns are he/they/it

he is a non binary (smth smth "well, i dont associate with being either a male or female, i am still a binary entity. i am made of ones and zeros, stanley. so while my gender is non binary, my code is.") he is a pansexual demisexual

as of now, in an au idk what to call of atm (maybe just the three narry au) they are all living in the real world.

virgil popped into real life expecting to appear in character!oz's house but landed in cecils

meanwhile, jarvis got suddenly plopped into the real world. he doesnt know how to pop off but he doesnt miss it all too much

misses his stanley a bit.

#artswin #tsp narrator #three narrys au #virgil jameson #jarvis jameson #cecil jameson #tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud narrator #stanley parable #the narrator #au #fourth wall au

[dappydaffer]

WW Normal Album Analysis (pt. 3) 💜

WHOOP-DEE-DOO! HERE WE GO AGAIN!

More Will Wood analysis, part whatever?!!! (cos I still cannot get over my WW/WWATTW hyperfixation)

If you saw my last couple of posts, you know the drill, you know what I'm babbling about.

For those of you who haven't seen my last posts or have no clue what Im talking about/getting into, for the sake of not sounding repetitive and/or annoying; Please just go check out my previous posts. I apologize, but I don't want these posts to become monotonous with the disclaimers, so I just gently encourage you to take a look at the first 2 parts of my WW analysis if you want full context. (This post isnt reallh connected to my previously stated theories to the album's message as a whole, but if you're curious enough, go look for yourself. Respectfully, I do not want to type more than I have to.)

(You can find the posts here): - Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733190401716027392/this-rant-im-about-to-go-on-will-probably-not?source=share - Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733737259322474496/ww-normal-album-analysis-pt-2?source=share

(And also, just a heads up: these are just MY opinions and MY personal takes/theories on WW's music. If you have anything different to say, please be respectful about it, yadda yadda, don't be a d*ck, you get the point, etc, etc.)

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So with that out of the way, in this post, like my most previous one, I really wanna talk about one song specifically, what it means to me, and how the lyrics + choices of words make up the message, and that song is; I/Me/Myself

I'm sure like a lot of other people did, I initially thought the song was fully about being trans when I first listened. But after my first couple of listens and really looking into the lyrics, I figured that couldn't be right. So, I looked it up and surely enough, WW himself explained the broader scope of the song and what it really meant.

(Ik a lot of WW fans probably knew/know this already, but I'm still gonna bring it up anyway) Will said himself regarding the song;

"To boil it down, the song is about how I respond to my frustration with the limitations of the male gender role, the maladaptive ways I’ve coped with that frustration, and trying to figure out if this experience or any other regarding my gender can or should define me. It reaches the same conclusion that most of my work does – and that is that nothing is real and that if something is hurting us we have the power to cast it off." "This song is, as I’ve said, about my experiences with my gender identity. It’s none of your business, but I once identified as genderqueer, until I realized that my attraction to traditionally feminine things did not interfere with my identity as a man. I didn’t want to define non-binary with my good old-fashioned cross-dressing, because I don’t want to speak for anyone else. I came to realize that my refusal and/or failure to meet the behavioral standards of my gender role did not make me less of a man, and anyone (cis or trans) who tells me that wearing makeup now and again makes me less of a man can shove it. After struggling for some time, I realized that my genderqueer identity wasn’t necessary for me, that I was wearing it as a prop in order to serve a purpose. The song is about my experiences and any amount of satire or targeted poking fun it does is at people who are doing what I know I did at the time. Partially in the hopes of drawing people away from that toxicity like I wish something had for me at the time."

(WW's full breakdown here: https://genius.com/Will-wood-i-me-myself-lyrics)

The song is essentially a statement telling both cis and trans people that our actions and expressions dont define who we are and that you can act and do things a certain way without having to fit into a box or slap a label on yourself. You can still be one thing and do other things that dont align with it, and the song does a great job at expressing the frustrations of feeling like there's external pressure on both sides to behave in a specific way just because of how you define yourself (at least that's how I interpreted his explaination and I 100% agree with what he's saying.)

While the meaning might have been self-explainatory to most, I still wanna gush about the lyrics/choice of words that make up said meaning.

• "And now you've got me thinking, I wish I could be a girl, and that way - You'd wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend"

"You've got me thinking" "You".....the way he says, "you've got me thinking," and not, "I am thinking," only emphasizes that extremists or other people that overly care about their identity and/or label are pressuring him into feeling like he has to be x, y, z because of how he chooses to dress, behave, etc. as a cis man. The choice of language really astounds me and just goes to show that he really did wear his identity "as a prop" only to fulfill a purpose that focused more on other people's contentedness, rather than his own.

• "But if the shoe fits, then I won't try it on"

This lyric right possesses some of the best symbolism I have ever seen. This line from the song shows how he so quickly jumped to the conclusion that he must be genderqueer because of the pressure he might have felt seeing how other people's behavior fit that exact label. If other people have that label for themselves and behaved like me before coming out/realizing their identity, then surely I'm queer too? If the shoe fits everyone else with similar foot dimensions as me, why should I try it on? If it fits for other people, surely it must fit me. It says its my size on the box, so surely that means it will fit comfortably?

(I'm gonna rope in a lyric from the demo version of I/Me/Myself cos I think this part from this version of the song also plays into the message.)

• "I'll be your prosthetic meat/meet your anesthetic criteria"

Again (this may sound repetitive) like the aforementioned lyrics, WW stating he'll be (assuming this is what the "your" in this lyric is relating to) anyone's piece of "prosthetic meat" and (presumably) willing to do anything in order to "meet criteria," just further emphasizes that he cared far too much what people wanted for him, rather than what he actually wanted for himself, and also highlights the sheer desperation someone with this sort of mindset possesses. It doesn't matter how you get it or what lengths you go to, just as long as you recieve outside approval and have managed to people please.

• "No, I know that I'm wrong - But I love how you're on my side when I cross that line"

This lyric here showcases his knowledge that he knows this label or identity may not be right for him, but people are on his side anyway, no matter what, and in the perspective of somebody who thinks like this, that is more important than being happy with yourself and finding your own identity. Instead of trying to steer him in a healthy direction, these supposed "people" are just trying to push their beliefs or continue to force him to be something he isn't sure he's happy with, because they believe its right (which sadly happens more in the LGBTQ+ community than you'd expect.) Also, the crossing of the line mentioned can also be alluding to folks who transition because of community pressure, misguidance, or subconscious uncertainty clouded by agenda pushing, end up regretting it later. They cross that extreme line, and yet those same people still push their beliefs and ideas on the person, hence; "being on his side".

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There's so much more I want to talk about here and tie into the post, but I think my point stands. That's mostly what I feel like typing at the moment, and I am now very tired lol.

And please, do not attack or harrass me for being "transphobic". There are toxic people in every community and my intention in this post was to point out genuinely toxic people in the queer community and how it ties into the song's message. As someone who used to identify as FTM trans and got mixed in with the wrong groups myself, this song speaks deeply to my own experiences, and never would I ever encourage or preach hate towards certain kinds of queer people and contradict my whole point here; let people be themselves and don't ever force someone to be somebody they are not. Love and accept and stop fighting fire with fire.

Once again, I still think WW is a lyrical genius and his portrayal of messages is extremely well executed. I hope you all enjoyed more brainrot fueled ranting, haha! ❤️ This was very fun to type and talk about. Have a merry turkey day, y'all, and I'll try to keep posting more WW analysis. I love doing this and I hope you all do as well!

#will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #the brainrot is real #autistic rant #rant post #my hands are in agony once again 💀😭 #just a thought i had #just rambling #just my thoughts #just a theory #i/me/myself #the normal album

[slowjamastan]

hi, I like you and what you post but may I ask what your view is with trans folks? I genuinely just want to know, tbh it doesn’t matter to me your views but I am just curious because you don’t seem particularly judgy but a little more traditional

oh yeah fair question. i hope u dont mind if i expand on my life a bit, bcz my views make more sense w context i think. tldr at the end

so i identified as dif flavors of nonbinary/trans/queer for nearly a decade of my life. ive been on tumblr since 2010, i called myself "trans" since age 14. ages 18~20ish i went to art school. it was a Peak Woke environment if you will and i fit right in. i dropped out when i realized the artists life wasnt for me. I had no idea what to do next with my life, so i did a lot of serious introspection and among many things, made the conscious decision to consider points of view on trans people from places other than tumblr (there is a lot wrong with me), like, i found out that people who didn’t “get” the trans thing aren’t universally stupid and considered their concerns. crazy ik. later i conclude baby steps style "hey i think 'nonbinary' as an identity might make no sense, like at all" and officially moved my worldview away from "identify as whatever you want forever uwu" 

my opinion on nonbinary genderqueer etc people is that it was made up online in the early 00s at best. “but other cultures have third genders—“ yeah you mean like when gay men aren’t considered real men? or when theres no male children in a family and a girl has to take on that role? nonbinary folx are either children or immature adults who can barely function in society. thats not a moral failing btw but it is hard to watch

from this point forward, assume im talking about binary trans people.

i dont believe gendered pronouns are a decision you get to make, theyre when someone looks at you and diagnoses your appearance as one of two things, and trans or not you dont get to decide how other people see you. trying is an easy way to drive yourself insane and get 500 plastic surgeries and do nothing but obsess over your appearance for your short time on earth. this isnt controversial right? we've all seen trashy reality stars with fucked up faces and botched boob jobs right? trans ppl look like that to me. again, not a moral failing, but def a red flag considering, for instance, the price tag and self centeredness transitioning implies. but anyway it feels ridiculous to handle random men in skirts or women with green hair with kiddie gloves in public yk so i just gender em as i see em. i dont give them any space in my brain bcz why should i. sorry if u dont pass and are going to angry tweet ab this interaction, its not my problem

i started identifying with truscum types (because i was never doing the trans thing “for fun” ive been uncomfortable in my body and had complicated feelings on being seen as female for most of my life), and committed to being a trans man full time age 21~22. started therapy soon after while weighing the risks of T on my health and safety and what exactly i wanted from it, even tho i WOULD be kicked out if i medically transitioned and i had no safety net nor any close friends to help me, so i kept putting it off. i was saving as much money as i could from my pt job (while going to community college for my ged) but mentally getting worse and worse. so i got a prescription for ssris.

in a few months, zoloft not only helped my overall mental state but also alleviated the fixation on my body parts being somehow wrong (or maybe it was all the same thing?). it took away my ability to mentally spiral about gender for hours at a time. i dont know if thats a normal effect, or i got placeboed out of wanting to transition somehow. but i experienced the hypothetical scenario "what if you woke up one day and didnt want to be trans anymore" after 10 years of trans identity and organizing my life around transition as a goal.

it was awful but mostly a huge relief. the dysphoria (or dysmorphia or whatever it was) had felt innate and had been with me my whole life and it was just gone, age 23ish. i felt genuinely neutral about myself and my body, and didnt feel like other peoples image of me being “wrong” would make me kms. could have had something to do with my brain maturing also. (as an aside: it felt like 1/3 of my brain had been dedicated to the gender musing pathways and then stopped all at once. my head genuinely hurt. it was a bizarre physical sensation, like a lobe removal, and it took a good year for that to go away)

ive since gone on and off then quit my meds for good, and the mental spiral patterns came back, but its not strictly about my body anymore. its an overthinking pattern that can latch on to anything. (my friend with ocd described a similar cycle she gets caught in. i dont have full blown ocd but i can relate)

i realize my experience isnt universal ofc. gender dysphoria could be a result of a lot of things, but i dont think its an innate hardwired thought pattern. my take is its a result of trauma / autism / mental issues / bi/homosexuality in whatever combination. this is a personal opinion subject to change given evidence, naturally.

anyway. after the dysphoria evaporated, i moved on quick. my ideas about gender were still all over the place. i tried to be more feminine for a while to "match" how i "felt inside". i forced it, didnt enjoy it, but it was fine i guess. i was still insecure about my gender presentation. i still do have body issues, but who doesnt. i wear a mix of clothing styles these days and often get theythemed on vibes alone. im beating the tradwife allegations i promise

this is the point in the average detrans 20-somethings life where she will call herself a TERF semi-ironically and be a shithead online, which is what i did for a while. you pick up new perspectives that feel freeing and suddenly youre above all that gender drama bullshit, like finally you get to look down on the people suffering and laugh because theyre too dumb to "get it." its cathartic after a decade of feeling insane and suddenly feeling capable of living without inherent suffering. i reached gender nirvana and im better than you :3

then you wake up from that and go wait, that was fucking stupid lol. truly terminally online behavior, but i dont have regrets really. the most evil terfily thing i did, if ur wondering, was co-run a blog that reblogged selfies posted in public tumblr mlm tags. i dont think we even added commentary, but we got soooo much hatemail lmaooo. rip straightgirlarchive 🙏

even at peak terf phase i had irl trans friends by the way, and male friends for that matter.

i think the best way i could describe my feelings on trans people now is like meeting someone with a face tattoo, who also treats that tat like a religious experience. they can feel like this represents to the world who they are and are very serious about the symbolism of this tattoo, and thats fine. its trendy in many circles to have face tats rn (wont be for long) but theyre built different, they always needed this face tattoo to be themselves. bro u just dont understand the inner journey like u wouldnt GET it.... and then they complain about not being employable or single or how their loved ones are struggling to get used to their new look...you see what im saying. you get it

i dont hate people like this. i dont think trans people are subhuman or anything. but i am so so SO glad im not one of yall anymore u are ANNOYINGGGGG. I WAS ANNOYING!!!!! in hindsight i sucked so much and was insufferable to be around if u werent on My Level Of Gender Understanding which was based on nothing but social media infographics, >10,000 hours of blind introspection, and Vibes

my god if i could go the rest of my life not having to hear or think about trans stuff ever again i would. ive done my time. ive gotten my trauma. i dont wanna deal with this anymore but it is inescapable online and irl.

and of course, as a lesbian, i personally dislike what T does to womens bodies, not even getting into the top surgery epidemic.... plus theres now biological men taking over or shutting down every lesbian space. i gotta say, existing as a gay woman has never been more suicide inducing than current year /lh

but the human condition generates all types and genuinely if youre an adult and are determined to transition or microdose T or whatever, its your choice. we live in a society. im not gonna berate an alcoholic for drinking or a fat person for overeating either. hating yourself isnt a crime and i can say i find transing cringe but thats subjective and no one asked me. im just chillin, truly, and we can be friends even if i disagree with your life choices. like. its on par with being friends with someone with 200k in college debt to me. you made a dumbass decision imo but maybe to you its worth it, and what are either of us gonna do about it now? im not arguing shit brother, live ur life. manage those consequences best u can. i love u

in conclusion i wasnt born destined to be trans, im a gender nonconforming lesbian with mental problems related to gender and social roles because of the lesbian thing. this is a normal experience that i overthought into body dysmorphia and identity delusions because of the culture around me... im definitely not a radical feminist. maybe call me gender crit but i dont care. i dont identify with any labels that strongly. labels are the mind killer.

TLDR: 

-nonbinary isn’t a real thing outside of hyperonline exclusively-politically-left subcultures, which i personally find annoying since ive left it behind in the process of maturing. to each his own but im allowed to roll my eyes and not play along with larping teenagers and it doesn’t make me evil

-there are no major female / male brain differences. there are no gendered souls. gender dysphoria shouldn’t be treated with transition, because extreme body modification is a mental illness problem in every case. i can’t stop anyone with my opinions obviously but if i could talk to my younger self, id say wait until you’re 25 for the brain development, and in the meantime try less invasive/understudied treatments to improve quality of life.

final disclaimer: i am in my 20s. my views on life and social issues will continue to evolve as long as i live, but the cringe i feel when seeing visibly trans people will never truly go away due to personal traumas. and my trans exes, probably. im super over the queer scene, im a normie gay now. blessings peace love and light

#thanks 4 your patience i had a busy day yesterday. i wrote like 2 versions of this bc i wanted to get my feelings across so bad #its still all over the place but i think it came out better than last time i tried to articulate my feelings on the trans population #mail #post #i deleted a lot of tangents. i like talking ab myself. maybe i just need to write a biography

[alexsaxonexposed]

stormwitchfaerie This is such fucking bullshit. Comedians make fun of everyone and everything because if u take yourself and everything else too seriously this kind of cancelling bs happens. Leave people alone. Alex isnt even doing anything to hurt anyone. This has gotten way out of hand.

Comedians DO NOT GET A FREE FUCKING PASS TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT MARGINALIZED COMMUNITIES.

I get it that you don't understand that transphobia isn't just murdering/assaulting trans people.

Do you know what I've been doing here? Helping trans fans, who are hurt by his actions. Because, yes, liking transphobic tweets and following transphobic people hurts his trans fans. Blocking them doesn't help either.

Funny how you ignored everything I said on that post. THIS ISN'T CANCELLING. Do the big letters help? Or can you still not understand it? He had an opportunity to explain himself and instead he blocked people and tried to pretend like it didn't happen

This is from GLAAD. Are you really gonna say that GLAAD is overreacting? Do you understand that even "jokes" against marginalized communities are not actually "jokes" to us?

This is only overreacting to you because you don't actually care about trans people. And since you don't I will say this more clearly. Get the fuck off my page because it clearly isn't for you.

stormwitchfaerie: He's literally doing nothing. These people arent even transphobic. Theyre making fun of the cancelling of people who

Liking tweets and supporting the platforms of awful bigotted people isn't doing nothing. Blocking people when they point out their disappointment in you liking a transphobic tweet and following transphobic people isn't doing doing nothing.

I literally don't know who told you this, but they lied to you. These people are transphobic and have done more than just make fun of cancel culture.

JK Rowling has been known for her transphobic views since before cancel culture was a thing. Also the fact that she's racist, antisemitic, homophobic, etc.

Dr Jordan B Peterson is literally well known as being part of the starting block of the alt-right pipeline. He is not the only person on his follow list that are a part of it. He's made his sexism, fatphobia, and transphobia extremely clear. Also that he's against climate change.

Ben Shapiro says that homosexuality and being transgender is a mental illness and a sin. When Elliot Page came out he referred to it as "pathetic, creepy, and disgusting." He is against same-sex couples adopting children. And so much more. These things are all transphobic and homophobic

Quillette/Claire Lehmann: Putting these two together because Lehmann founded Quillette and she pops up enough in Saxon's likes. Quillette is a magazine founded by Lehmann that was initially focused on science. Transphobic (poses the idea that "transgenderism is dangerous") and also against feminism because "men are the real victims." Someone once sent a fake article and they published it without fact checking. 

Glenn Greenwald: Transphobic: claimed that trans and non-binary people are actually cis lesbians who are being pressured to identify as trans/non-binary. Chelsea Manning, a trans woman, openly spoke out against him and he retaliated by publishing private DMs from her in his replies. Biphobic: categorizes bisexual relationships as "hetero-appearing" and "gay/lesbian-appearing."

Ian Miles Cheong: Transphobic--misgendered trans women, publicly shames non-binary as an identity in doubting its existence (Call of Duty once had an option for Male, Female, and Non-Binary and he publicly called it "historically inaccurate", etc). 

Kara Danksy: Transphobic. Profile is cut off, but I feel it illustrates everything perfectly: Feminist fighting for the sex-based rights of women and girls. Publicly speaking out about the 'gender identity' industry. All tweets my own. Furthermore, she published a book in November of 2021: "The Abolition of Sex: How the 'Transgender' Agenda Harms Women and Girls." The title speaks for itself.

All of these are transphobic actions and not the only ones that they have committed. They probably aren't even the only bigotted actions they've committed. And I'm sure you'll notice that none of these people are comedians. Although I should repeat that even if they were, comedians do not actually get a free-pass to say bigotted things as a joke. Especially when they are not a part of the punchline.

Their actions hurt the trans community. He hurt his trans audience. Instead of spewing bullshit and trying to defend a man that you will never meet and will never actually care about what you say, try listening and seeing why people are upset.

But since you seem incapable of understanding the fact that this type of behavior causes damage. I will help you out. Here's some fan reactions by both trans audience members and actual allies

(Side Note: if anyone that is in these photos would like them removed please let me know and I'll do it)

There's a lot more where that came from. Check out our Twitter. Since the likes are public you'll have no problem finding these and more if you scroll down a bit. https://twitter.com/SaxonExposed

And if you still have a problem and don't understand the accountability I'm searching for. Just get off my page. Just get off. It's simple. You don't care about what I, the other mod, trans fans, and actual trans allies are doing when we call him out on this shit. It'll save us all time if you just left.

I mean I'm gonna block you again, right after I post this. But again you can just leave and ignore us. That's what Alex is doing to the people who call him out anyway, take a page out of his book.

~ Lachesis

#Literally just leave if you choose to be this obtuse that you think any of the fucks that he follows aren't transphobic #a simple google search with their names and transphobia (and more) proves you wrong

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.

#idk what anon is referring to here either lmao but you know #the usage of 'sex' here tells me this is either a HARD terf or someone who does not know that there is a difference #transphobia / #mildly i suppose but im not sure of anons intent #not plonts #asks

[lez-exclude-men]

I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but have you actually been close friends with any trans people?

Yes, one of my close friends identifies as non-binary, and two people I knew in hs (one was a best friend, the other was just a friend) transitioned, but then detransitioned to different degrees in college (the former best friend and I still keep in touch, but they went through an abusive relationship and were talked into cutting me off and then we reconnected but they're still healing and figuring themselves out etc-- long story).

I will say I for the most part feel like respecting pronouns is important. I dont for people who are clearly predators or when a crime is committed that is male violence and needs to be recognized as such for contextual reasons, etc.

I also support safe medical care for dysphoric folks; current close friend that identifies as non-binary for a few years had really bad chest dysphoria and I helped them research binding and got them the safest proper binder I could. I did, however, heavily encouraged them to find a good therapist, and that helped them a lot. Generally my stance on dysphoria is that therapy should be the first treatment option, and the therapist should figure out if the individual can work through it, or learn to manage it, or if it is a strong/stubborn type and requires medication (HRT) as well. I think dysphoric folks deserve informed consent-- to know all the potential short term and long term risks and effects of HRT (which neither of my hs friends got). HRT shouldnt be the first thing doctors/therapists jump to, it shouldnt be taken lightly, and it shouldn't be encouraged without making sure the person is both informed and able to consent (ik this isnt the majority of cases, but 13 year olds shouldn't be prescribed life altering drugs, no matter whether or not they agree in the moment). I also think we should recognize sex and gender are different. A dysphoric person can change their appearance and body to be closer to the opposite sex, but you can't actually change your sex.

I take issue with people claiming to be trans or nonbinary or something with no dysphoria. I dont think nonbinary is actually a thing, I think it's just various forms of being GNC smooshed together, and I take issue with the idea of it. But when one is gnc qnd has dysphoria and wishes to be called they/them to alleviate some of that, that's fine, it just doesn't make you some "other" category. And I do have an intense hatred of men (males), and hate when they use their dysphoria or made up gender as an excuse/explanation for violence against women.

--my thoughts are much more detailed and nuanced than that, but I'm going to continue to my actual point instead of going down that rabbit trail.

This blog is just a snapshot of part of me. And I've done a lot of growing and changing here, so some of my older, angrier posts may not apply as much anymore. And idk if I still have this in my bio or not (I did for a while), but not everything I reblog I agree with. Sometimes it's just food for thought, sometimes there's some underlying reason and I'm frustrated/angry and this is my way to vent.

My beliefs and politics, though not entirely, closely align with those of @radicallyaligned , if you want to go read some of her posts. She's much more eloquent on the topics of gender and politics and women's anger than I am and I am frequently in awe of how she manages to word things.

The bottom line is: dysphoria is real, gender roles should not be so strict that being gnc is really even a thing, female people need to be protected from males and should have their rights ensured, and there is a lot of complex history and medical stuff involved in all of this.

And really, my feminism is one of the most important things to me, which means I am an activist for female people, for which I use the term women as a category, even though this includes trans men and other ways of seeing oneself. It does not include, not now or ever, people born male.

I hope that answers your question, and all the other ones that were wrapped up in it. And thank you for clarifying you were trying to be respectful about this and not come off as condescending. I hope you have a good evening, and feel free to drop by my ask box another time if you want 💙

#lezpost #radfem #anonymous #answered #ask #anon #im out of sorts tonight #so i hope this isnt totally incoherent lmao #but hey answering asks is and excellent distraction from everything else #the only thing keeping me together rn is blasting queen music and being on tumblr or reading lmao

[my-darling-boy]

hiya. hope this isnt too personal; if yes: i am very sorry and feel free to completely ignore this! It’s about ed/body dysmorphia and dysphoria. So I’ve been suffering from anorexia for quite some time and think i am trans but me being unable to discern “disordered” thoughts from my real thoughts I started doubting my “transness”. I dont want to go into detail since it might be tiggering but did you ever experience anything similar? I would really appreciate some tips.

Ahh firstly I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that! Secondly, I have Much to say about this because trans people often suffer from EDs and it’s not something I see talked a lot about, but it’s a very serious matter in the trans community. So far EVERY trans person I have known irl has had a form of an ED at one point in their life. It is actually more common than you think for a trans person to have body dysphoria AND dysmorphia at the same time!

My own ED started because of outside pressure from cis people, and cis men especially, who shamed me into prioritising looking traditionally masculine, gauging my validity based on how well I—and I don’t like using the word but—“passed”, and so I felt the need to drastically alter my figure. I got abused by people who kept telling me I couldn’t be a real gay man unless I looked like X or did Y to my body, so I was roped into bad habits to fit to their biased expectations.

I also know it was a way for me to “control” my life when things didn’t go as planned, as a therapist once pointed out, and so restriction was a way for me to take charge of SOMETHING in my life when I felt so helpless to change other things, like my wait time for surgery or name changes, etc. Which is why I know trans people suffering from EDs must be having a very hard time right now during these Current Events because life seems out of control. It’s also why cyber bullying and other forms of abuse can also trigger these disorders, not just from people body shaming a trans person, but also because you can feel a lack of control to handle the abuser(s).

Trans people can also see eating disorders as a form of self harm because of the depression one might suffer due to transphobia or other negative factors. Self punishment can also manifest in the form of harmful restrictive/excessive eating. A trans person may have such poor self esteem or have a history of abuse and view the absence of food or nourishment, or eating to the point of being sick, as a self inflicted penalty for feeling ashamed to be trans, or for another related issue.

My own anorexia stemmed from all of these, from the transphobia and stress I was experiencing as a trans person.

It’s interesting you bring up dysphoria and dysmorphia, because I would now say I have next to no dysphoria—because I am a man and it’s feels wrong/incorrect to think of myself as any different—so therefore, with my gender issues out of the way, now I’m just a man dealing with male body issues which don’t exactly feel directly related to gender dysphoria, if that makes sense? And in your situation, I get the two together can be pretty hard to distinguish between!

But like I was going to answer in another ask, and something I think a lot of people forget (and may be helpful to figure out one feeling from the next): being trans is deeper than surface level. I think because of the way it’s portrayed on social media, as stereotypes, and so forth, people get wrapped up in prioritizing the body part of it to determine if they’re trans, while neglecting the mind/heart part of it to determine it, and the LATTER is what is ultimately going to tell you!

I can wear anything I want and be a man. I could have any body shape and be a man. I don’t have to have surgeries or hormones to be a man, and I don’t even have to feel like anything about me has to physically change to be a man. What matters is that I FEEL, intangibly, internally, I am a man. What I choose to do with my body to support that if I feel it necessary is secondary to my identity, my being.

It’s good to understand our hearts = everything. How we feel about our bodies and the stuff we do to them or put on them is determined by your heart. That’s why if you’re really stuck, it’s important to concentrate more on internal responses to determine if you’re trans. I always say to experiment with clothing or pronouns or other forms of expression—not because these things must inherently equal being trans—but because it’s your deep internal euphoric response that you’re looking for to these factors, and if you’re looking for a place to start, that could be it! But at the end of the day, if we existed without bodies, without a way to express ourselves physically, who are you? And what form does that spirit take? It doesn’t have to be male or female, it can be anywhere in or out of the binary as well, so you don’t have to limit yourself to “male” or “female” boxes!

I hope some of this could help? ♡

#I’m actually glad you asked this cos this DOES NOT get talked about enough #trans people suffer from these things in silence and I just wanna let you know you’re not alone #ed tw #self harm tw #asks

[candyclan]

My HONEST opinion of Kalvin Garrah

Kalvin talks about how the reaction videos he does are purely based off his opinions and they aren’t meant to actually hurt people. While I feel like yes, that may not be his intent, he takes information from what he thinks he knows about them from what they say and draws wrongful conclusions. He applies the logic “well if you were really trans, you’d do XYZ” which is honestly not okay. Just because he feels like “he’s protecting the trans community” doesn’t give him the right to invalidate people he’s never even seen or talked to irl. That being said, I do think he is correct that there are people who do not experience dysphoria and therefore do not have a legitimate reason to transition (physically) who do, and realize it’s a mistake (that’s why there’s detransition videos out there). This is tragic, and honestly, could very well reflect badly on our community because of how conservatives may take it.

Kalvin promotes the idea that seeing a psychologist is SO important before physically transitioning and altering your body in PERMANENT ways. He also promotes that before settling on “Yup I’m trans” you should rule out every other possible explanation for issues with your body: like body dysmorphia or an eating disorder etc. I feel as if he has contempt for people who are identifying as transgender and don’t actively try to alleviate their dysphoria. I agree with a lot of people who are fairly neutral on this topic that there isn’t a really clear cut defined definition of what dysphoria feels like other than “discomfort” toward gendered aspects of what you were assigned at birth. For Kalvin because his dysphoria is so strong, he uses it as an identifier of his trans identity and an UN-identifier for others. Just because he experiences an extreme does not mean every trans person experiences that extreme as well, and it could be a manageable discomfort, almost like a paper cut (while still uncomfortable, and totally legitimate) compared to a bullet wound in his case.

Because dysphoria is so subjective, it isn’t fair to label someone as a “transtrender” just entirely and solely on how someone looks on the outside. They may have a higher sense of self-esteem than Kalvin did because of how heavily his dysphoria affects him. This may mean that while they identify genuinely as being trans and probably do actually experience dysphoria (even minor) they choose their preferred gender expression over the idea of “passing”. I understand this because I actually have some really stereotypical “feminine clothes” that actually cause me dysphoria to wear but I wear them anyway cause fuck people. The reason I have such a soft heart towards him is because he and I have a shit ton of things in common and also I watched him cry on his YouTube channel. Legit sob. I see his human in all of this. I see his flawed thinking, and his less than perfect expectations of “gender presentation” as a reflection of his own internal monologue “well I can’t wear this because it makes me look girly”

While I have those thoughts too, a LOT, I never project them on to people the way he does in the videos he makes of the “transtrenders” <—- the reason I put this in quotes is because I hate that word (and he admits he hates it too) there should be a nicer way of politely saying you used to identify as trans or thought you were, but actually aren’t. “Transtrenders” has such a negative base to it because it implies the individuals gender identity is illegitimate and perhaps a phase. While I actually do think there are people who may be confused and do mistakenly identify as being transgender, we should never imply another person is this because that’s FUCKED UP. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT PERSONALLY KNOW THAT PERSON TO A HEAVY EXTENT. Claiming, like Kalvin does, to have the “criteria to know if someone else is trans” is fucking bullshit. He makes a good point about it being in our brains and there ARE actually studies that prove that is a legitimate thing, he pushes so hard for it to be seen as a mental health issue so “Real Trans People™️” can be provided healthcare. He has correlated it to a mental health issue, and while I personally think: “Idgaf what it’s called just let me have it covered through insurance.” The fact that you would never in a million years tell someone they aren’t depressed/have anxiety because their symptoms aren’t as bad as yours or they don’t experience it the same way, that’s literally what he’s doing to trans people AND IT is FUCKED.

All of that aside, I didn’t know what being a transmed really was until I saw his videos. I didn’t have any real idea how little sense it made that if you don’t have dysphoria...how can you be trans? I hate how there’s such a stigma on the internet about how dysphoria is rooted in EXTREME MEGA DISCOMFORT when in reality, I can safely say in complete confidence that I didn’t have that huge issue like he did. I have top dysphoria but not so much bottom (unless I’m on shark week and then wellllll....death 0.0) ITS okay to not “hate” what you were given, and be in a better mind space about it than other people because WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT and experience dysphoria in different ways and we are all valid as fuck. I feel as if because so many people can experience body dysphoria and social dysphoria in so many ways literally in as many ways as there are people, in order for it to be considered a mental health issue and be covered by insurance there’s this push to try to come up with what dysphoria ISNT instead of the variety of experiences that is gender dysphoria.

So, in general, my thing is, only the individual can really tell (just like in depression and anxiety) whether or not they’re dysphoric based off their own feelings they have toward their AGAB and how it affects them. It’s almost as if he’s just like every other asshole out there that thinks their opinion matters because they’ve gone through SO MANY STEPS to be trans. His transtrender videos really are demonetized, and he claims to not do it for clickbait or shock factor to get people to watch it and that it’s his raw, unfiltered opinion about an issue he actually genuinely does care about a lot. I personally think the videos need to be taken down because it makes him look so much worse than he really is, and honestly what if the person that he’s talking about in those videos actually was trans and they killed themselves because of the hate his supporters dished. Showing their channel and saying that they don’t have dysphoria (in Kalvin’s eyes) labels them a target to abuse from the people that support Kalvin, whether or not that is his intent. I understand why this could upset someone. This upsets me. I feel a personal connection to someone that is using legitimate facts and points to validate his conclusion that some are worthy (that fit his personal idea of what being trans is) and some aren’t (those that don’t) this being said: That is not all that he is, I promise you. I believe “transtrender” is a thing dear god I’m highly uncomfortable with that word but there isn’t another one to use. I would never LABEL someone a transtrender under any circumstances because to do so would be honestly disrespectful to that persons identity and honestly denying their right to explore who they are. So what if you think you’re trans and then realize later that you weren’t??? As long as you didn’t medically transition, you literally didn’t do anything but explore who you are. It is never okay in my mind to label someone as that, especially if you don’t personally believe in how the person chooses to identify because like I said there’s as many ways to experience dysphoria and a disconnect towards your AGAB as there are people. It comes in different severities and different people prioritize change towards specific parts moreso than others.

That being said if you know you are 1000000% comfortable with your assigned gender at birth (not just learned to tolerate certain things/choose to accept the hand you’re dealt or live with it like me and my vag- how some trans people can), why would identify as being transgender? It’s when this “choice to go with the hand your dealt thing” really gets to Kalvin because he can’t imagine is transition being without the whole kitten kaboodle. Is perception of his gender honestly is a huge reason he can’t see why non-binary AFAB people could ever learn to embrace/tolerate certain aspects of their body. I don’t think he fully understands that binary gender roles that may moreso apply to TRANSGUYS don’t apply to non-binary people.

Non-binary people literally do not identify with one gender binary over another, so Kalvin has a hard time understanding them. It is important to note however, he still respects people even if he doesn’t understand. If he didn’t respect non-binary people as a whole, he would be preaching about how “non-binary isn’t even a thing” because he tends to NEED to think in logical terms with facts and data like the similar brain thing (mtf brains=more like cis female ftm=more like cis males) it becomes hard for him to understand the struggles of non-binary people. Non-binary people don’t fit his “mold” so to speak. Perhaps it’s because he once was a “non-binary SJW” in the past and then pulled a 180 and turned into this literal person that tells other people they aren’t trans even though he’s never met them irl and knows next to nothing about them. It’s funny how he claims that detransitioners turn into TERFS when his transition, which was supposed to help his mental state (perhaps it did idk), had him go from non-binary to low key for all intents and purposes a gatekeeper. He from his perspective claims to know it all because he’s trans. Consider this analogy: being transgender is like trauma. People can be united in that they suffer from it or that it affects them, but everyone’s situation is unique amongst all others so everyone has different “triggers”. I’m sorry if this analogy offended you it’s just I was trying to make sense of it the best I could in my mind

@kalvingarrah

#kalvin garrah #ftm #nonbinary #mtf #trans #transgender #discourse #dysphoria #opinion #candyclan #cisknight #truscum #tucute #upset

[carnifcrous]

could you give me a rundown on what being gender critical is? i get the basics i think but if you don’t mind explaining your views?

oh boy anon i’ll sure try!! idk if im the best person to talk about it tbh and ive confused a lot of people trying to explain my views before ahfjkfh but ill try REALLY hard to keep my adhd ass in check lmfao. if theres anything i said thats confusing & you need cleared up feel free to @ me againi dont know how long gender critical has existed as a concept, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was developed as a reaction to a certain VERY vocal part of the trans movement/trans rights activists

(so when you talk to people (trans ppl) about gender i think people usually break it down into several a few categories: gender identity, gender roles, and gender expression. i think most trans people are aware of & separate their sex from their gender identity, the identity being something innately part of every person, the roles generally speaking the bullshit that society expects & should be rejected, and gender expression really just being the traditional “feminine” or “masculine” behaviors/dress you use regardless of your innate identity.in trans circles/lgbt (merch, lol) sites i’ve seen the phrase passed around “gender is a social construct.” i think trans people who do/used to say that meant it kind of like that since gender was created by societies so it doesn’t matter how you identify/why not expand the understanding of gender (ergo, non-binary genders getting popularized). i think this fell out of popularity because it was transppls attempt to validate ourselves and conservatives cant wrap their mind around social constructs are/the distinction between sex and gender and so it wasnt really working out lmfaobut now there’s been some scientific studies getting popularized that have Suggested the existences of male & female brains and that trans ppl have the brain of their identified gender, therefore the disconnect between their brain and their body manifests as gender dysphoria. (i think the transmed community has especially taken to this idea esp because of kalvin garrah discovering these studies & now kind of preaching them as facts & science. with this comes him, his friends, and all the transmed ppl who stan him ryan and london saying that Gender Isnt Socially Constructed)then theres the posts circling around here saying Transwomen Are Women/Real Women + when the women’s march happened in america after trump got elected, i saw quite a few things on facebook where ppl were saying that all the talk of vaginas and shit were transphobic and trans-exclusionary and they should keep in mind that not all women have vaginas, etc etcthen u have what i believe (or at least hope) are outliers in the trans community being dug up (usually transwomen) who say........ The Most ridiculous shit imo. like saying theyre more of a woman than ciswomen (i’ll use cis strictly to mean not-trans in the context of this post), transwomen claiming theyre having a period, and just in general perpetuating “cotton ceiling” stuff like lesbians just needing to get over their transphobia to be with a pre-op transwoman. (again i would like to reiterate i DO NOT believe this is what the majority of transpeople believe, its just a vocal minority thats gotten attention from receipt blogs IMO.))**sorry that this post is already becoming an essay and if its derailing from the question, but this is what i think gender critical stuff is meant to react toso kind of in opposition to mainstream ideas of what gender is, i think radfems/gender critical people dont really break down gender into the different things like identity, roles and expression. from my understanding, gender was socially constructed based on sex stereotypes. i think we can all agree that stereotypes are Bad, so why should we identify with some set stereotypes?

the gender critical beliefs is that there’s not right or wrong way to be male or female (male and female in this post meaning to strictly refer to biological sex). gender is holding us back by continuing to subscribe to sex stereotypes and is counterproductive to building a society where people are free to express themselves however they like. (a lot of gender critical ppl equate gender identity with personality, and while i think this can sometimes be the case w nondysphoric people & mogai genders, it isn’t always and usually isnt, because as i mentioned before, a lot of ppl know enough to say that gender expression is something independent of gender identity.)as for my personal take on it & how it plays a part of my life (apologies that this is going to get super anecdotal):this all is related to my own transition. since questioning being trans, i fluctuated between different non-binary identities. i didnt think i was Trans Enough to call myself a transmale because i didnt want to kill myself over not having a penis (or even trans enough to call myself trans at all lol), so i thought i needed to stay as being nb. then i realized they/them pronouns did...... nothing for me. the whole time i had she/they/he or they/he in a profile i was always secretly hoping someone would just call me he lol.

but i felt like i was an insult to REAL transmen. it took me a while to realize that i didnt care too much about the specifics, i just needed to do what made me happy. that happiness was being read as male & using he/him pronouns.

but even then id still struggle. id have moments of thinking that i was just copying my best friend (who had a similar nb -> binary transmale path as me), or that i didnt even feel like a boy, that i was STILL faking being trans, that i should feel more of x y & z, that id made a mistake with starting testosterone, etc. reading radfem/gender critical stuff used to trigger the fuck out of me lmfao.i think what i eventually realized for myself and the sentiment other gender critical transppl share is that i was setting up an expectation/standard for myself that was impossible to attain. with mainstream gender theory, a cisman and i share our gender identity, our gender is the same (”cis” as its used to “identifying with your biological sex”). the thing is though, in terms of sex/gender, theres nothing i find that i have comparable to a male. i dont act like a “man” because im not one, im a TRANSman. ive lived most of my life so far as female and being socialized that way has been significant to me. i relate a lot to women and its always felt wrong to me how suddenly because im transitioning it felt to me like i was expected to revoke my right to speak on feminism/womens experiences. way before i discovered gender critical things i was pissed off at people trying to be “allies” to transpeople saying shit like “all men are trash transmen are real men so theyre trash too uwu!” like. fuck that. and fuck you for insinuating i would EVER treat a woman the way that men do.

like i know there are transmen (and just transppl in general, for that matter), who try to overcompensate with misogyny/misogynistic ideas because they think itll help them pass better but fuck

anyway. im proud of being a natal female and being socialized that way. being trans isnt exactly a party but im glad i could get the insight i have into the treatment of women and so forth. and the thing is, this isnt a contradiction to me being trans at all. once i let go of whether or not i was “male enough” of “valid” as a boy, i could once again just focus on the very concrete evidence in my life: i was EXTREMELY dysphoric about my chest. i’ve been on hrt for almost two years now and ive had top surgery. my dysphoria is almost non-existent since ive had surgery. i dont mind & even get excited about all the changes coming from being on testosterone. (dont like that i cant sing like i used to and that i’ll probably end up balding at least by my 50s if my dads head is any indication, but cismen have this problem too so whatever)

also ive never felt quite right when i was calling myself gay (exclusively attracted to men). i share some issues that gay men might, i Can be affected by homophobia because i Do pass as male, but its still not 100% the same experience and i think that distinction is importantmy concerns & how being gender critical is important to me:

me coming out as trans was a process over time. using the usual trans rhetoric, i was having difficulties explaining myself to people. specifically im thinking about my mom. when i said i was uncomfortable with being seen as a girl, she said she was uncomfortable too. she liked dressing more like a boy. some other shit she said too that i dont remember, but my basic takeaway: cispeople, particularly ciswomen, arent necessarily enthusiastically identifying with their correlated gender to their sex, because..... no reasonable person likes gender roles.

and i get worried about people like my mom who might be encouraged to identify as nonbinary just because theyre gender non-conforming. the identity itself wouldnt be much of a problem except that it seems to me like its being pretty normalized for nonbinary people to just kind of....... experiment with medical transitioning to try to achieve some Ideal androgynous form that would be.... Very difficult to achieve. i worry about people not thinking medical transitioning is a big deal and just kind of.... disregarding all the potential health consequences, how powerful testosterone is as a hormone, and so on. with the permanent changes that come people THEN end up experiencing dysphoria and life is.... really pretty difficult for detransitioned women from what i can tell, and a lot of people talk about how theres been a spike of people detransitioning lately.

i think part of the problem is 1. transmed/truscum people harassing & bullying nondysphoric trans-identified people, so they feel the need to medically transition to Prove Themselves and 2. just in general the aforementioned idea that everyone has a gender identity. i think itd be very uncommon for people to “identify” as cis, and so you get this whole mess of people thinking they need an androgynous body to match their androgynous identity......... etc.

bonus: my mom crying on her birthday because she said she didnt think shed be able to ever see me as a guy. “nonbinary, maybe, but you dont act like a boy.” problem solved, i dont act like a guy, i act like a transguy!!

also again, need to reiterate that i cant relate to men. i can never Become Male, not with our current technology. i was not socialized as male and thats okay!! its okay because im just doing what i need to in order to be comfortable with my body and myself. i dont need to worry about my dating pool seeing me as a Real Man because they can see me fully as the transman i am and my relationship with being a natal woman and just, shit like that. ive gotten a lot more comfortable with even being called she when it does happen (by accident by family members). its not a swear word to me and ive let go of a lot of expectations i thought i had to meet with being uncomfortable talking about my female organs and my past as living as a woman etc etc. im not trying to Be anything anymore. im just trying to live as myself

some of my issues with the gender critical community just as a disclaimer:

i have a lot honestly and im not going to be able to name them all off the top of my head

makes sense that it would be, but i think the community is rampant with transphobia in the sense of flattening transpeople to the “transcult” stereotype where they just..... dont seem to think of us as individuals. they think we’re all genderists getting triggered by misgendering & demanding our pronouns. they think all of us are “delusional” about our natal sex. they think we’re all gender conforming. they dont take dysphoria seriously in general, ESPECIALLY males experiencing dysphoria (i get that your feminism doesnt have to be concerned with “men” but come on). misgendering is just disrespectful to me (idgaf about rapists, whatever use whatever pronouns you feel the need for those people.)

just in general some people dont get that trans people can still exist in a post-gender world? and you can still be critical of gender while respecting people’s pronouns? by their very nature i think the transmed, radfem, and especially gender critical communities are attractive to bullies so you have those flocking to it, and thats an issue but... yeah.

this answer has gone on long enough and im really sorry anon im sure you didnt sign up to read a 13 page essay. i just got lost in my thoughts and felt like i had a lot of explaining to do. i think my feelings are both simple and complicated so idk if i even really answered your questions, i hope i did..., ;;

#sorry in advance guys i literally never proofread #and i had family come over in the middle of me typing this so i lost my train of thought midway #i dont know where to put this but some last thoughts #the transpeople who insist they have nothing to do with their natal sex make us look like a fucking joke #like thats so easily exploitable by transphobic conservatives #and im tired of them having that leverage because theyre fucking idiots and dont deserve any sort of intellectual upperhand #gender theory has a lot of holes in it i think and its way too easy to poke at right now #also i think even more important than transmen its important for transwomen to acknowledge they arent the same as ciswomen #i know dysphorias a bitch i know it sucks i know it hurts #im trying not to let my privilege let me forget because i DO have a lot of privilege #but when we're talking about females as an oppressed social class #you dont neatly fit in & share that same experience #doesnt mean you dont have problems/face oppression! but its most likely because youre trans #not because of your identity #also my take on gender critical theory is that it just..... fits for me #i had that whole section about why its important to me #but i also dont really care that much about ppl still subscribing to gender theory #like you do you boo i just think it can be harmful sometimes #anyway #long post #radfem #gender critical #discourse #pine speaks

[bigendering]

(1/4)hello, i uh. i guess im just looking for some supportive words... ive been IDing as genderless for a while. when i originally learned of non binary genders, i didnt quite understand it. if there are so many genders, and people get hurt and mistreated over what they identify, and gender is entirely a personal perception of yourself, and is a social construct, why do we even have it? i spent a lot of time trying to figure out what i was too, because i realized that if all these other options-

(2/4) exist, its silly not to explore them and see where i fit in this new gender system. thinking about gender confused, frustrated, and scared me. i tried to feel my gender but i just... couldnt. i felt maybe vaguely boy, but i kept telling myself that was just me being a “tomboy”. how would i know what it means to feel like a boy? gender isnt even real! i also remember telling my friend that i felt we shouldnt even have gender. its not even a tangible thing, and it just gets people hurt. she told me “maybe the reason you cant figure out your gender and the reason gender seems so pointless to you is because you dont have one?” and it felt like everything made sense. i had a new respect for all the other genders out there. they didnt make sense to me because i didnt have a gender! i cant percieve gender, but they can! to them, they can feel exactly what it is to be a man, a woman, both, etc. everything felt right for a while. but recently i feel as though im starting to feel gender....? mostly boy, but with a little bit of girl too? yet i also still want to reject gender entirely and remain genderless. i even toyed with being trigender (boy, girl, and agender) but that label sort of scared me because its such a complex gender and clearly, for whatever reason, gender is a scary and mysterious thing for me. everytime i find myself questioning my gender it gives me mad anxiety. i hate not knowing what i am. do you have any words of encouragement for me...?

First of all, gender is scary and confusing, and you’re not alone in having anxiety over gender and questioning. Secondly, you don’t have to understand gender in order to have it. Your fear of gender doesn’t disqualify you from being trigender, if that’s you.

Questioning is nerve-wracking for most people, and for some it does give severe anxiety. That’s okay. I would take some deep breaths and focus on what you do know. You know lots of other things about yourself that aren’t related to gender. You know that everyone has a different experience of gender. You know that you’re starting to feel boy and a little bit of girl.

If you think you are feeling just boy and girl, that’s it, you can use bigender or androgyne. If you think there’s something else too, you can use the label ambonec - male, female, and neither. Either way, there is at least one word you can use for yourself.

If neither of those is satisfactory, you might find one of these terms useful:

Genderanxious: A gender that is undefined because the act of finding a label, or of having a gender, is a trigger for anxiety.

Kynigender: A gender which is not able to be pinpointed due to the stress of the questioning process causing anxiety

Nesciogender or Nesciōgender: A gender one is not completely sure of due to one’s neurotype disallowing a clear understanding of the concept, but has a vague sense of what it could be; i.e. nescioboy, nescioagender, etc.Latin nesciō "I do not know"

Nōlōgender: A term for neurodivergent people who have difficulty grasping the concept of gender. Distinct from nesciōgender in that the individual has no particular desire to investigate their gender, as doing so is overly difficult due to their inability to understand the concept of gender.From latin nōlō, ((i) do not want).

Genderdisturbed: Having a gender that you cannot or do not want to define due to anxiety, repulsion, disturbance, etc..

Gendertrapped: A feeling that one has been forced to identify with a gender that one does not want or relate to.

Peroagender: Wanting to be agender, but not identifying as agender (derived from perogender).

Quoigender: Similar to quoi- as an orientation, this term describes someone who feels that the concept of having a gender does not apply or does not make sense for them, or who rejects the concept of gender entirely as it applies to them.

I may have gone slightly overboard on the terms, but the point is there are lots of words for how you feel, and people made those words, so you’re not alone in having these feelings.

Hope this helps!

Kai

#ask #anon #questioning #anxiety #genderanxious #kynigender #nesciogender #nologender #genderdistubed #gendertrapped #perogender #quoigender #Anonymous

[jasonbrennerold]

wyd if i told u to do 1-38 👀

the ‘be honest’ meme / @afterburied

ok below the cut bc this is a Long One

1. What would prevent you from following someone?

generally speaking just kinda if our writing doesn’t mesh? but also on different blogs i have different kind of vibes if you know what i mean? like here on jason i’m not likely to follow historical/extreme fantasy blogs if they don’t have some form of modern verse bc i just don’t see him in those settings, i also tend to avoid anyone who says they dont like multis/ocs even if it doesn’t apply on the blog im on bc uh we love multis and ocs here. sometimes if a blogs new i wont follow, but sometimes i will it just depends on the vibe lmao. sometimes aesthetics/etc will play a role but mostly it’s just based on rules/meshability

2. Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

yes and no? like i won’t shun anyone for having “bad” aesthetics or anything, but i hold my own personal aesthetic to a higher regard? like, if someones aesthetic makes things unreadable/impossible to navigate then i hate it, but like i don’t care about other peoples aesthetic that much. if it’s pretty i definitely see the blog in a better light which im trying not to do, but mostly it’s my own aesthetics that matter to me and that’s just because i simply need to be perceived positively at all times

3. What current rp trend do you hate?

i don’t think there are any i really hate? as long as trends aren’t harmful i dont care much.

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

i don’t lmao the only person who knows about rp irl is my inner circle, and they know it as rp bc at least one of them has actually been in the rp world

5. Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

i don’t really have much preference? all genders bring in their own potential for different plots and dynamics and i love them all equally. but female muses and muses that don’t conform to the male/female binary are always favorites because they deserve more appreciation

6. Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why?

this one was actually hard to answer because like? i don’t know? i write plenty of both, and i feel like i prefer males, but also i think that’s just because of the way males tend to be treated over females? like some of my female muses are That Muse that never goes away, but because females tend to be more ignored or people just don’t read their info it’s never as fun writing them

7. What’s your opinion on call out posts?

sometimes they’re necessary, sometimes they’re not. i don’t really read them? unless it’s a callout that comes across my dash a lot or revolves around someone i know/write with. if it’s a legit predator then i say go off, but if it’s something petty or spiteful i think it just makes all parties involved look kinda bad.

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

answered here.

9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

i have in the past, i don’t really presently. i think sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, and really depends on the fandoms/characters involved. like currently i have lea as my exclusive stiles and earth as my exclusive carol because they have such intense connections to jason and are literally a part of his backstory/canon so it would feel really strange to have another version of that muse come along and try to either fit the dynamic or ignore it. that said i have in the past had exclusives where it felt like i was trapped in it or didn’t get to explore more dynamics because of it, so it can be a win or a lose dependent on the person you’re exclusive with and what they’re like.

10. Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

not really, no. i don’t think i’ve ever actually commissioned anyone, and the people who have commissioned me in the past have generally been really nice. there’s been a few times where people really don’t know what they want or change their mind constantly or just ghost before we get anywhere, but mostly it’s been a good experience for me.

11. What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started?

that literally nothing matters. who cares. take as long as you want, remake as much as you want. yes this is a hobby that depends on other people somewhat, but that doesn’t mean that everything you do should revolve around them. take mental health breaks, write in prose, have a super minimalist or super maximalist aesthetic. who gives a shit, this is about having fun.

12. Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

answered here.

13. Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind?

answered here.

14. Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person?

oh a huge positive effect on both for sure. there are times that it’s been bad for my mental health, but i’ve also met so many brilliant people and had so much fun doing this. half of my facebook friends list is people i’ve befriended through rp (and yes this is an invite to anyone i talk to a lot to ask for my facebook if u want it)

15. How has rp changed you personally?

i started rping in 2012 when i was 14. rp was my main hyperfixation through high school, with me spending most days in class on tumblr rather than doing work. i shaped my entire life around rp for a long time, and while that was extremely unhealthy it was also a huge formative thing for me. tumblr and roleplaying are so ingrained into who i am at this point, it’s literally changed my life. the friends i made through rp, especially in my high school years, were a life changing thing. i had one or two friends in high school, but i was heavily bullied and widely hated and rp really did save me from really fully sinking into thinking that’s what everyone thought of me

16. If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

i think it would mostly just be the accessibility and ease of it? i miss the days where you didn’t have to be mutuals to write, and how it was just so easy to get things going and have meaningless fun. i love my mutuals and i love plotted threads but i truly think there was something so easy about starting a blog and immediately having threads and people to write with. lately tumblr has become a place where it’s so easy to be ignored or feel like no one wants to write with you, and i really miss the days where there was always someone there who wanted to write with you and be friends.

17. Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why?

literally all the time lmao. my positivity blog is 50% me sending myself anons because people very rarely send them in. people follow positivity blogs to hear positivity about themselves but never send any in which makes it difficult. i don’t want to seem like my positivity blog is focused only on my mutuals, but i also don’t have much i can say about non-mutuals without it feeling fake so it’s a rough balance. i also send myself anonymous headcanon questions all the time bc no one else is gonna do it for me

18. Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why?

i think i did once or twice in like 2014 because i was a 16 year old who wanted attention. mostly it was just like i’d posted something that i knew would be controversial in the fandom and wanted to send myself the hate while i had a comeback in mind rather than wait for someone else to say it and feel bad lmao

19. Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why?

i tend to post/address it. it’s a bummer to get anon hate and i know i should delete it but i’ll see it and be like ‘oh everyone thinks this’ so i post it so that everyone can see and be like ‘yeah’ but then they’re like ‘this is bullshit’ and i have a moment of like... oh... people... dont hate me?

20. Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

i dont think so, not that i remember at least.

21. Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to?

yeah, a few times. i tend to feel that way less now but i still do it sometimes. i know there’s not really any pressure, but sometimes breaking mutuals with people you don’t click with feels really hard

22. What would make you block someone?

not a lot, really? like not for hard blocks. i’ll softblock when i do unfollow sprees or if we don’t really mesh. i only hardblock people who spam me, personals and like. actual problematic people.

23. Have you ever stolen something from someone else?

not that i’m aware of. 

24. Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it?

again, not that i’m aware of.

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

this doesn’t apply to jason, but generally yeah. it depends on the muse really. im not open to duplicates on beth (multimuses aside) because of how she’s a comfort character for me and i’ve had some Bad Experience with other beths in the past, and theres a few muses i write from smaller fandoms that don’t have duplicates but that i wouldn’t want duplicates for. mostly though im chill.

26. How do you feel about vague posting?

i don’t love it, but i am guilty of it too. sometimes u gotta vague to get things out, but i don’t like vagues where that person is likely to see it? idk i just don’t like vagues but i wont stop you

27. Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back?

sometimes, but not really. i used to do it a lot, but since people are so intense on mutuals only these days i get heaps of anxiety about accidentally liking something when i think we’re mutuals but we’re not

28. Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting?

i try to. a lot of people don’t have mobile friendly info (note that linking to pages on your blog like a /rules or /about isnt actually mobile friendly, you can’t use those links in the app) and i spend a lot of time on mobile, but i usually just wont follow back until i can read them and then i double check rules for triggers and stuff whenever plotting/sending memes/etc.

29. What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it?

i don’t love it and i don’t practice it, but i get it. it sucks to have people reblog things from you without sending, especially headcanon/ooc stuff. i won’t ever force people though, especially with ic stuff, sometimes certain memes just don’t fit and that’s okay.

30. How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all?

probably? i type the same as i talk pretty much, anything you see me type is something i’d say

31. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

i dont think so. generally i google things if i don’t know it.

32. Have you ever experienced discrimination?

not that i’m aware of. i guess people ignoring female ocs and loving male canons might sorta be it, but nothing personal about me no

33. How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog?

not a fan, tend to block them. personals just tend to get into my shit and rb stuff and it’s annoying. that said, if it’s someone i know from the rp community’s personal they can stay

34. Have you ever cried while writing a reply?

literally all the time. every angsty reply.. i cry so easily

35. Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own?

i read so many other peoples threads, especially people i interact with a lot. i read @unheaven and @aphostate‘s threads like the morning paper i love them

36. What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

i don’t know that anyone really hates things that much?? oh, but 13rw is a big one i guess. the show helped me mentally and i have muses on my multi, but i know the majority of the rpc is very much against it

37. How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t?

i try to, but i don’t ever really know when exactly things need to be tagged. i use the ‘ask to tag //’ tag a lot for things that im not sure about. generally speaking triggers go untagged unless it’s intense/graphic, but there’s always warnings in my rules about what i don’t tag

38. What advice would you give to someone new to rp?

don’t take it too seriously. it’s a hobby, it’s for fun. these people will not care if you use aesthetic vibes or if you’re a minimalist, they just want your writing. don’t guilt trip people into writing with you, read and respect rules. i don’t know, just treat people how you wanna be treated. rp is a small world, word travels, people know when people are the type to ignore important things. 

#afterburied #i love u #answered. #answered prompts. #ooc.

[catboyfeli]

i feel like it’s really telling that most nondysphoric trans ppl are bisexual

like bisexuals inherently don’t conform to gender roles

and with tumblr treating gender and behavior and feelings as gender, no wonder everyone’s convinced they can’t just exist as a gnc person without weaseling their way into trans spaces

like you can just present male some days and female other days and be cis plenty of people, especially bisexuals, INCLUDING MYSELF, desire to flip-flop between social roles

gender as a social role is completely socially constructed and all this gender stuff just UPHOLDS that. trans people are dysphoric about their sex which translates into social dysphoria because it reminds them OF their sex being “wrong.”

and then all this gender shit also confuses binary trans people into thinking they’re genderfluid or something when they really just are in denial, or have fluctuating dysphoria, or something similar. and then nb trans people get roped into all this too.

i talk abt this a lot and i know nobody cares but its the most infuriating thing but if i try to talk about it i’m the bad guy :/

anyway i just think social roles need to be abolished instead of supported like everyone’s been doing. gender as a social concept only exists from people trying to create a way to separate the two sexes, which turned into something more due to sexism. if you wanna be seen as the opposite gender or neither gender then yeah you might be trans! but it also easily could be something else causing that feeling! people being so quick to jump on the bandwagon is just so harmful and trans people, DYSPHORIC people, deserve their own spaces.

people have gender and gender roles all mixed up and just b/c you identify as something doesn’t make it valid? trans people don’t identify as trans they just are b/c their brain knows something’s not right. it’s just so ugh. wanting to take on a different social role isn’t dysphoria, it’s a SIDE EFFECT of dysphoria, so having that alone doesn’t necessarily mean anything. it just baffles me how people think it’s at all comparable when social roles are socially constructed like??? i just don’t understand how else i can say this to get it through people’s heads? it’d be easy to debate someone but i’m not doing that on this hellsite

idk im just so tired of people saying “gnc and nb isnt the same!!” but then going around and iding as nb BECAUSE they feel disconnected from gender and its social roles like???? you just contradicted yourself. if you’re ok with your bio sex then chances are you’re cis and just don’t conform to binary gender roles. gender and gender roles are basically the same thing like there’s little distinction.

people also make gender into this big fucking thing like once i said the only possible way to nb to exist is to have a neurosex that’s an equal mix of male and female, thus creating atypical dysphoria, and people got SO FUCKING OFFENDED LIKE uM

i shouldn’t need to explain how stupid that is djkldljkfjklfjk ugh

anyway the only way gender is real is via brain sex. gender as a social construct is real, buuut also fake because it’s a social construct. not conforming to gender is GOOD because it means you’re not letting yourself be shoved into a box. but that doesn’t make you trans. and you’re still either male or female and not fitting into gender roles doesn’t mean anything or make you nb, atypical dysphoria does.

and honestly the whole being wlw and mlm at the same time thing is so?? creepy and fetishy??? i really shouldnt have to explain why. like i identify as female, male, and neither, but that means Literally Nothing and if i, as a cis girl, tried to weasel my way into mlm spaces it’d be fuckin creepy. it just makes trans mlm look like a joke and it’s pretty shitty.

but also they seriously need the change the terms for nb people because theyre described as like “being attracted to female genitalia and femininity but not necessarily females” and ??? FEMININITY AND FEMALE ARENT THE SAME THING BY THIS LOGIC YOU COULD BE ATTRACTED TO A FEMININE MAN, BUT WAIT HE PRESENTS AS A MAN SO JUST SAY FEMALE PRESENTING AAAAAAAAAAAA

and like if someone presents as female... they’re female. gender and identity doesn’t matter they look female, their biologically female, they’re female. it should be about SEX not what they identify as. attraction to trans people is about perceived sex, not gender. and you can be attracted to someone who presents as female but then find out theyre actually male and lose the attraction. it’s just such a COMPLEX THING YOU CANT PUT INTO BOXES LIKE THIS ugh

i just think the whole gender thing needs to go honestly. its all about sex and perceived sex, personality, behavior, looks, interests, mannerisms, etc. i just summed up how gender contributes to attraction in that one sentence. that’s how unnecessary it is. you can like people who aren’t male and have feminine mannerisms. tada! we just summed up a way to experience attraction without making it weird!

its kind of funny how people describe attraction is a way that enforces binary roles despite trying to go against them. like instead of saying a lesbian is attracted to women why not just say a lesbian is attracted to everyone but men? it recognizes how presentation and perceived sex go into play without making things weird. because even if someone isnt a man, using this in the sense of a dysphoric nb person and NOT just how they ~identify~ bc that’s stupid, but anyway if they’re not a man, but present as a man, then the lesbian isn’t going to be attracted to them, and that’s just how it works.

but! the lesbian could meet a man who presents as male but feminine and has feminine mannerisms, and realize she’s actually bi and is just attracted to femininity, because attraction is complex and much like how people won’t fit into binary social roles, people’s attraction ALSO won’t fit into binary social roles, so maybe a girl could be really into masculinity and think she’s straight but then see a masculine girl and realize she’s bi, and not be into feminine men b/c just because she likes men doesn’t men she likes ALL men and b/c masculine and male aren’t the same thing

hoo i could go on but i know nobody is reading this. maybe i could try to put all my thoughts into a legible essay someday idk. anyway i just think real nb people are so rare that it’s better to treat their gender as a lack of gender, rather than a third gender, and that their gender exists BECAUSE of their atypical dysphoria, not because they ~identify~ as something different or anything dumb like that.

i see why people think a third gender would be beneficial but i’m just trying to be realistic. trans people are only 0.37% of the population. nb trans people would make up an extremely small amount of that percentage, so it only makes sense to NOT change the way the world works for over 99% of people, and instead find a compromise in treating their gender as a lack of one. plus the whole third gender thing is something gnc youth love to latch onto which isn’t healthy. creating a third gender for people who don’t fit into binary gender roles is regressive and enforces binary gender roles. that’s it that’s what this whole spiel was about basically im done now goodbye

#gabi speaks #ignore #rant

[merrysithmas]

The twitter post on nonbinary gender that you posted....ever since you started specifically posting about nonbinary gender, I've been wanting to ask you its meaning because I had never come across it. But I was scared and embarrassed to ask you cause i thought you'd get mad at me. Sometimes I want to educate myself but then you don't know who to talk to or ask about things. And also thank you because through your blog I am learning so much about gender.

oh thank you!!! thank you so much for sending this and asking. i am always here for questions and thank you for having an open heart and a kind soul. i know sometimes it can be intimidating to learn – and it shouldnt be. we live in a very divided world right now, and i wish people would be more receptive to questions and bridge building.

it is my personal philosophy there is a difference between anger and hate – anger can be channeled into action and example and good. hate makes you have a commonality with all the other evil sectors in this world and i refuse to be a part of it.

as for nonbinary gender – basically this is an umbrella term which means “is not male or female”. nonbinary people are included under the T or “trans” letter in LGBTQ because their assigned sex (AFAB, AMAB assigned female/male at birth) does not align with their gender. however, many nonbinary people do not consider themselves trans and consider themselves simply nonbinary. but many do consider themselves trans. it is up to personal choice.

there are several nonbinary genders: agender (feeling like one does not have a gender at all, genderless), genderfluid (fluid gender which switches to more female or male depending), genderqueer (a catchall term for many of these identities or some combined), nonbinary (feeling neither totally male or female, or feeling both, or feeling both but one more than the other, or feeling a new gender which is male/female combined), Two Spirit (a term specifically for use only for certain people from various indigenous societies/cultures which describes a lauded subset of people who have two genders or a conduit between genders), demigender (feeling partially male or female), etc. the list goes on.

i know a lot of people will scoff at this and think - “oh that isnt REAL” “there are only two genders”. well guess what? it is real. it has been my life for literally as long as i can remember back into childhood. it wasn’t until a few years ago i discovered the term for it, and it wasn’t until last week that i decided i want to use gender neutral pronouns. i remember one day when i was in highschool i asked myself “am i trans??” i remember being so scared i cried for a day and repressed it so hard. i have never aligned or fit in in that way. i remember telling my mom as a kid i wasn’t a boy or a girl. i remember always struggling so hard trying to decide who to be. i remember doing a google search as a kid and reading about Two Spirit people of various indigenous cultures and thinking — my god. it’s “me”. it was the first thing i ever saw that spoke to an understanding of my identity, and i felt such immense comfort i cant even describe it to you.

but now, after coming out to myself and the world i am literally the happiest with myself i have ever been in my entire life. i finally feel like i am not living inside myself, that when people meet me they know exactly who i am because im not hiding it anymore. my whole life i always had this little voice in my head saying “the person they think they are meeting/seeing isnt the whole you and they will never really know you, no one does”. i am “out” to my family and friends who matter and i am so proud of myself. im not afraid of being visible. in fact, i want to promote it.

im a future doctor and i can tell you with 100% certainty there is biological basis for separation of gender and sex. whether it it hormone levels, chromosomal activity, genome structure, brain chemistry, brain physiology and anatomy, or likely an infinitely complex amalgamation of all that and more. but one doesnt have to be a doctor to have credit in saying this: i can tell you, just as me, a nonbinary person - i am real. and i dont want to hide or suffocate anymore. society’s rules and binaries are truly blind. they leave out so, so many people. and we are at a revolution in our culture right now that i hope is going to change that exclusion forever. i hope people will see other people free and realize the strictures and rules they were brought up to live behind arent all that exists.

i always say it like this: if you are cisgender (a person whose gender matches their sex at birth) it is not your job to “understand” a trans or nonbinary person. because you literally cant. you can’t pass judgment on something you literally cannot experience. a cisgendered person’s brain is not built with the chemistry/function of someone who experiences a nonbinary life. there is nothing wrong with that. but the job of a cisgendered person is to say: “i will never understand what that feels like, but i will -believe- it is real because trans and nonbinary people have the dignity of personhood, they are PEOPLE, just like me, and if they tell me this is how their bodies work it must be how it is working inside of them.”

and one more thing - gender identity has nothing to do with gender presentation. which means, a nonbinary person who dresses femme, wears make up and has long hair is just as nonbinary as a masculine presenting nonbinary or androgynous nonbinary person. a cisgendered woman who wears tshirts and baseball hats because that is what makes her comfortable is still a woman. a cisgenderd man who wears makeup is still a man. a trans woman who wears suits is still a woman. a transman who likes makeup is still a man. your gender is in your head, your sex/genitals are in your pants, and your aesthetic preference is just how you hapoen to like to decorate your body.

sexual orientation is separate from all of this, and is simply who you are attracted to. a cisgendered woman can be attracted to women: lesbian, poly, pan, bi. a nonbinary person can be bi, pan, poly too. a transman can also be bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc. a cisgendered man can be hetero or gay.

dysphoria is psychological and physical discomfort with ones sex/genitals/body/body function because it does not align with one’s gender. some trans/nonbinary people experience and many dont! so for instance as a nonbinary person i sometimes get intense dysphoria over my chest (breasts) and menstruation. more often than not i deal with it, sometimes im even proud of it, i am proud of surviving as a female-bodied person in this misogynistic world! im proud of the perspective it gives me on humanity. but if i could get rid of them would i? most days, most likely! ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts, i legit hate them. but some days i can deal. i console myself by saying all genitals are homologous to each other - male and female gentials are essentially the reverse of one another and so the same. they dont dictate who you are. if a woman with cancer gets an oophrectomy does thay make her not a woman anymore? of course not! if a man has his testicles removed is he no longer a man? am i a woman because i have a vagina? nope! gender isn’t one’s body. as a nonbinary pansexual person my identity is pretty firmly in the grey area lol. i consider myself an attractive androgynous. i am proud of who i am and what i look like, even when im not totally content.

i hope some of this helps and i hope you will spread acceptance! sorry this got so long but i wanted to give a real answer. always feel free to ask anything else, weird or not weird, i promise i wont get offended. :)