#am i making a rash decision? maybe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bvidzsoo · 4 months

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Forget-me-not

⫿Illegal racer!Mingi⫿

TW: cursing, unprotected sex

Word count: 4,7k

A/N: Well yeah...this is Mingi's fault for posting those freaking pics and my fault for getting inspired at the most random ass times. I know I'm not the greatest smut writer, but don't take my head off for it, thank you. Your feedback is very much appreciated!

⭒Toge racing: 1-1; lead driver <--> chase driver

⭒Sprint: race has more drivers

⭒Dig: refers to all participants toeing a line, aligning the front tire of the vehicles, after which all vehicles race from a stop to a prearranged point

My car came to a screeching halt as I slammed on the brakes, which were new. I got them changed a week ago, I have fried the old ones off after the toge race I pulled off in the mountains. My jaw was set tightly as I took in a deep breath, long fingers tightening against the leathery wheel.

“What are you doing—”

“Get out.” I snapped; eyes focused on the road ahead. The other female in the car gasped quietly before I heard her huff in annoyance.

“What did you just say?”

“Get out, Jennie.” I snapped more aggressively this time as my head whipped around, shooting dagger at her. She looked incredulous as she didn’t make any moves to get out of my car. I wasn’t having it anymore; I just couldn’t focus with her around.

“Are you seriously kicking me out of your car when we’re one block away?” She hissed, lips pulled into a snarl, making me smirk at her in annoyance.

“Yes, I am.” I told her, leaning back in my seat, “Get. Out.”

She didn’t have much of a choice as I glared her down, Jennie’s fierce eyes staring back just as harshly while she bit her lower lip. It didn’t take long for her eyes to fill with tears, which were faker than the eyelashes she had on, and I just rolled my eyes before she finally undid her seatbelt and grabbed her purse aggressively.

“I can’t believe you!” She screamed as she threw open my car’s door, making me hiss when it cracked open loudly, “You’re seriously throwing me out of your car on a deserted road in the middle of the night?!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my fiancé a week before our wedding, cousin.” I hissed at Jennie, who was also my cousin, as I revved the engine of my 3gen burgundy Honda Prelude. The car was a gem and I cherished it dearly, taking more care of her than I have ever taken care of myself.

“I told you he was—” Jennie started shrieking as she slammed the car’s door shut, her window having been rolled down, but I quickly pressed the button to roll it up and sped off, not wanting to hear another sound coming from her mouth. It’s not like I dropped her off miles away from the car meet, she was just a block away. She should be thankful I even gave her a ride after everything she made me go through not even four months ago.

I thought Jennie and I were like sisters, always there for each other no matter what the matter was. We could talk about anything and discuss all of our issues. I confided in her when problems arose with my fiancé, and her advice had been the best, it helped our relationship…until it completely shattered. Until she went and slept with San like he wasn’t engaged to me, just a week away from his own wedding. She would’ve been the bridesmaid, but there was no wedding to be held. I called it off the second San drunkenly told me about his infidelity, and I also took all of my stuff and moved out from our shared apartment. Indeed, it was a rash decision, in the spur of the moment as my head was coated with anger, hurt and betrayal, but I couldn’t stand to see his face for even one more second longer.

The small house I rented out wasn’t in the best part of the city and it was far from being luxurious, but it worked for now. It felt cozy and the neighborhood was quiet…unless Song Mingi was out and about, keeping everyone up on the street with his obnoxiously loud Dodge Challenger. The car was a specimen, however, truly rare as it was well kept and had zero flaws. Mingi took great care of it and never failed to show it off. Even if it was in the middle of the night, when people were trying to relax and sleep as he didn’t seem to care. Whether he had just come home from racing or God’s knows from where or he was bringing girls over and showing off…he’d keep the engine running for at least ten minutes before he finally shut it off. Mingi and I had known each other for more than a year now as the both of us go to the same car gatherings and do the same illegal street races, and even better than that, we’ve raced each other countless of times already. There was only one problem with him and that was his obnoxiously large ego. His car was good, he was a skilled racer, and he knew he looked good. So, all three combined made him an insufferable jerk and I couldn’t stand being around him for more than five minutes. Imagine my shock when I moved in across from him, his car being the give away of who my neighbor would be for an undetermined time. And what made it even worse…was his bedroom facing the main road whereas it was my living room facing it, and Mingi seemed to not know the concept and usage of curtains. Whether he didn’t do it purpose, seriously have major doubts about that, or it was on purpose, it seemed to be his habit to strip naked and change in front of his windows. He never gave it away that he knew I could see him, so out of embarrassment, I never brought it up to him. Not that this would ever be something I would talk to him about, I try to stay away from that prick as he gets on my last nerve. But some things were inevitable and I would be lying to myself if I said his body wasn’t perfect from top to bottom.

I rolled down both windows of my car as I turned down the usually deserted road, which was now filled to the brim with cars on both sides, creating a pathway in the middle. People were swarming between the cars, looking at them and talking to each other. Some were even fighting, needing to be separated as I slowly rolled down the pathway, nodding my head at the familiar faces as they sent waves my way. My arm hung through the window as I steered with one hand, headed to my usual spot. People who were regulars in the illegal races had their own spots and were paid fairly better than the newcomers. Which meant it was totally worth it to race…unless the cops caught you, it was game over then. I put my car in reverse as I carefully parked my car, Soonyoung cheering loudly from the side as he watched, gaining more people’s attention. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. Soonyoung and I have met three years ago, at a race where we both drifted off into the ditches. Unfortunately his car suffered unfixable damage, unlike mine. The Universe must’ve been on my side that day, because I was convinced I was going to die, yet here I was…unmarried and completely miserable as I plastered on the most genuine looking fake smile on my face that I could.

“Hey, buddy!” I greeted him as I got out of the car, knocked breathless when Soonyoung’s best friend raced towards me, colling into my body and lifting me up into a hug as he started twirling me around aggressively. I had to hold onto his body out of fear of scratching my own car and Soonyoung’s purple Subaru BRZ as my legs gripped around Wooyoung’s waist tightly.

“You made it!” He shouted into my ear and I cringed, crying out as he abruptly stopped, giving me whiplash, “Soonyoung said you were coming but seeing the time—I thought you changed your mind.”

“I didn’t,” I breathed out as Wooyoung finally released me, only for Soonyoung to engulf me into a hug; they both knew I hated hugs, yet never stopped tackling me into one, “But my mother made plans for me and forced me into picking Jennie up—”

“That bitch!” Wooyoung called out at the same time as Soonyoung went off saying, “I thought you were past the age where your mother tells you what to do.”

“Yeah, okay,” I shrugged, pushing my hands into the pocket’s of my leather jacket, “I didn’t know until I got there, Soonyoung, and yes, Jennie is a bitch, Wooyoung.”

“She is! Oh, my God, how dare she still face you after everything she’s done?!” Wooyoung seemed to be annoyed all of a sudden as he huffed, making Soonyoung glance at him. His eyebrows were furrowed as he nodded in agreement. They both hated my cousin, rightfully so, and I did too.

“She still blames it all on San—”

“Bullshit!” Soonyoung suddenly exclaimed, his face pulled into a scowl, “Where’s she anyway? I don’t see her in your car.”

“I kicked her out a block away.” I couldn’t help but giggle as I told my two friends the shit I pulled off. In full honesty, I really couldn’t listen to her ramble on about her apparently picture-perfect life anymore. I hated her guts, I really did. After she ruined my life she had the nerve to rub hers in my face? I don’t think so, not anymore at least; I have made myself very clear after the ugly hysterical fit I had at my mother’s. Soonyoung and Wooyoung shouldn’t have cackled as loudly as they had, palms pressing against their mouths as they congratulated me for being a bad bitch. I wasn’t, I was simply triggered and still hurting.

“You’re iconic, love.” Wooyoung said as he reached out and touched a wavy strand of my hair. I wasn’t planning on dressing up tonight, but something pushed me to do. It’s been too long since I have looked put together, I have missed feeling beautiful and desirable, “And you look absolutely amazing.”

“Thank you.” I bowed playfully as Soonyoung grinned, bumping his shoulder against Wooyoung’s.

“Dressed up for a certain someone to see?” He teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“As if!” I exclaimed and rolled my eyes, knowing very well Soonyoung was referring to Mingi. No, that prick deserved none of my attention or effort, “Before you can spew out more nonsense, I’ll head over to Hongjoong and enter my name in the race.”

“Oh!” Wooyoung exclaimed with excitement as I walked out from between my car and Soonyoung’s, “Which one are you entering?”

“Which one should I?” I stopped to think for a moment as a wicked grin crossed Soonyoung’s features.

“Do the two blocks drifting one.” He instructed with a glint in his eyes and I narrowed mine at him, wondering why he had that face while suggesting such a mild race. Wooyoung glanced at our friend for a second before realization crossed his features and he giggled into his palm, avoiding eye contact with me.

“Fine, but I have a feeling I shouldn’t trust the two of you…” I muttered as Soonyoung and Wooyoung high-fived each other and sent a wink my way, turning their backs as they went to join their other friends once I took off.

My strides were long as I was headed towards the front, where the checkered flag was being waved aggressively, the path having gotten narrower as I was forced to push my way through the crowd. People were loud around me as they cheered for the driver of their choice, egging them on to show a better performance, to win. Four cars were lined up at the starting line, about to start a Sprint. Seonghwa, Hongjoong’s right hand and who handled the races in this part of the town, went and checked on every driver before he walked up to the front, standing in between two cars, holding the checkered flag as he raised his hand. People started shouting like crazy as Seonghwa started counting down and then, dropped the flag, the cars shooting off one by one, each fighting to win the race. I recognized one car, Choi Jongho’s, he was a newcomer but he was rising in the ranks rapidly, creating a name for himself on these streets. Hongjoong stood to the side, leaning against a pole as he was counting the money in his hands, smirking at Seonghwa as he approached him once the coast was clear of any speeding cars. I watched the two as I approached them, Seonghwa talking to Hongjoong softly as the shorter one reached out for his waist with one hand, placing something in the taller one’s back pocket with his other hand. I raised my eyebrows at them as I came to a stop in front of Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s mouth closing abruptly as he stopped talking. Apparently I wasn’t allowed to know what their conversation was about.

“Oh, hey.” Hongjoong’s demeanor changed as he greeted me with a friendly smile, “You’re racing tonight?”

“I sure am.” I said with a grin and Seonghwa took out a small notebook, eyebrows furrowed as he searched for a pen.

“Which category?” He asked as he finally found it and watched me expectantly. I was feeling like going for a Dig tonight, but I remembered what Soonyoung had told me.

“Drifts, the two blocks one.” I said casually, making Hongjoong look up. He looked a little bit surprised as he shared a look with Seonghwa, one which I didn’t understand. But Seonghwa just hummed and jotted my name down in the notebook before he looked up.

“The usual sum?” I nodded and handed them two stacks of money as Seonghwa jotted down the amount, Hongjoong taking the stacks from my hand with a hungry glint in his eyes. I lingered for a second as I wanted to ask who I’d be racing against tonight, but I changed my mind and thanked the two instead as I walked back to my car, deciding that I wanted to live dangerously tonight. Not knowing my rival made it more satisfying when I would win, not having made a strategy for myself beforehand as I didn’t know who the person would be and their driving style. My mind and body craved for the little adrenaline racing infused into my bloodstream and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the prize too.

Of course, I should have known by Soonyoung and Wooyoung’s giggles that they were setting me up. Losing tonight was as possible as winning, really, it would be about who was more skilled and faster. I watched Mingi’s black 2000 Dodge Challenger pull up to the start line, front tires on the line just like mine. The rumble of his car’s engine was already a tell-tale sign of whom I’d be racing tonight, and I couldn’t help but curse as I saw Wooyoung and Soonyoung high-five each other on the sidelines before showing me a thumbs-up. I could only scowl at them as Seonghwa walked around, gathering money as people made bets on who would win this time. Mingi’s window was rolled down and I saw movement from my peripheral so I looked over lazily, raising an eyebrow at him as he waved his ring clad fingers at me in a mocking way. I rolled my eyes and rolled down my own window, Mingi’s mouth already opening to speak up.

“Evening, doll.” He called over the loud crowd and rumble of our cars engines, “Fancy losing tonight?”

“Don’t get too cocky now, Mingi.” I plastered on a fake smile, “I might smoke you out.”

“I have to admit your ass is pretty fine—” He paused for a dramatic effect as my jaw clenched, knowing well he meant it both ways; car’s and my ass, “but I don’t plan on looking at it for too long tonight.”

I chuckled and pushed my wavy hair behind my shoulders as I leaned over the middle console, my low-cut top not leaving much to imagination, “I would hate to kick you off your high-horse, sweetheart, but your Dodge got nothing compared to my Honda.”

“I thought I have showed you my skills countless times, doll.” The way Mingi caught his lower lip between his teeth shouldn’t have made my stomach flip, but I couldn’t help it as my eyes remained fixed on them. Then, Mingi suddenly smirked as if he could see even from the distance where my eyes were fixated and he lowered his sunglasses slightly, leaning over his open window, “You seem to have forgotten, let me remind you tonight.”

My skin got covered in goosebumps at the offer in his tone, knowing damn well what he was talking about. And it wasn’t about racing anymore. But I wouldn’t let him know how quickly his words could make my body react, therefore, I just leaned back in my seat and started revving the engine of my burgundy car, smirking at Mingi as a displeased look crossed his face. I rolled up my window as he started revving his, Seonghwa having made it between our cars with a flag in his hands. He grinned at Mingi before looking at me, earning a firm nod from me. I decided to take a peek at Mingi swiftly, wondering how he could still see and drive while wearing sunglasses at night, but I quickly pushed all thoughts away as Seonghwa’s hands raised. I gripped the steering wheel tightly with my left hand as my right went to grip the gear stick, eyes set on the road ahead. My left foot was on the shift pedal and the second Seonghwa released the flag, I kicked into action as I shifted into first gear and shoot off, leaving Mingi in a dust behind as I worked my way up through the gears, focusing on the road only, familiar with Mingi’s driving. Beating him tonight would be a piece of cake.

The windows were fogged up and the leather was scrapping against my knees painfully as I panted, eyebrows scrunched together as I tried to find the perfect rhythm. Mingi’s calloused hands were gripping my waist but he wasn’t doing anything, he was just watching me with an open mouth, leaning forward to press his reddened lips against my flushed skin in no time. He would grunt from time to time as my hips moved up and down, his dick deep inside, hitting every sensitive nerve I had as his tongue licked against my collarbone before I felt him sucking. The small top I was wearing was of no-good use as Mingi’s right hand came up to grope my left breast and I whined as my thighs were starting to strain. It wasn’t a surprise that I have ended up in Mingi’s car not long after our race, which he had won this time, panting and on top of him, desperate for my own release as Mingi didn’t do anything, as he tortured me longer than it was necessary. Mingi’s lips trailed upwards, kissing and biting the skin of my neck before he kissed behind my ear, making me whine as I fastened my pace. A low groan left Mingi’s lips as his nose pressed against the skin of my neck, his hot breath hitting my skin uneven.

“Fuck, I can’t take this any longer.” I panted out, hands tangling into Mingi’s black hair as he slightly pulled back to look up at me. His pupils were blown and his eyes were hazed over with lust, yet he still managed to smirk as his hands went around my naked waist and grabbed my bare ass, helping me out as I moaned loudly, going faster with Mingi’s help. My walls clenched down around him and in response Mingi cursed quietly, biting my neck as his fingers dug into the flesh of my ass, soon enough his body leaning back into the leather cushion of his passenger seat. My arms went to hold onto the headrest of it, whimpers getting louder as my lower region burned, desperate for a release after so much teasing and edging from Mingi. His grunts were constant as I gyrated my hips more frequently, my lower lip in between my teeth as suddenly Mingi hit the sweet spot, making me stutter out a gasp as my walls clenched down around him.

“Fuck.” He cursed in a low rasp, hands releasing me as his hands raised behind his head, eyes shut close for a second, “Fuck, tell me I’m better. He could never fuck you like this, doll.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I went down on his dick again, but missed the angle I have previously found. My brain was in a haze, and I didn’t want his words to register as I continued chasing for an orgasm, but Mingi just wouldn’t shut up, “San could never make you feel this good.”

My body stiffened and muscles contracted as I was snapped out of whatever euphoria I was feeling at the moment, face contorted into disgust as I threw a glare at Mingi, “Why the fuck would you bring up my ex-fiancé during sex, Mingi?!”

Mingi gulped as he opened his eyes, forehead covered in a sheer coat of sweat, “Why? Are you not over him yet?”

I hated the arrogance dripping from his voice, the way he was looking at me, with such superiority, as if he was better, “It’s been four months, only. Would you be over the person you’ve loved for six fucking years and were meant to get married to?”

“I certainly wouldn’t start mopping about it during sex with another man—”

“You brought him up, he wasn’t even in my mind.” I snapped as we remained unmoving, Mingi’s hands latching onto mine against the headrest as he squeezed them.

“He better not be while I have my dick inside you, doll.” Mingi rasped and I scoffed, leaning closer to him, our lips almost touching.

“You sound an awful lot like you’re jealous, sweetheart.” I whispered against his lips before I licked his lips, Mingi’s eyes darkening for a second as he shifted underneath me. He only moved slightly, but the burning and yearning was back as my eyebrows furrowed, “You talk too much. Shut up and fuck me brainless, Mingi.”

“Gladly, doll.” Mingi whispered as he suddenly thrusted upwards, making me yelp in surprise as he suddenly started moving. He wasted no time as he moved fast and sharply, slamming back in before I could even meet his thrusts. My head fell back as I braced myself against his shoulder and neck, mouth open as whimpers kept falling and falling. Mingi’s length reached places nobody’s had before and with his precise and sharp thrusts my thoughts were slowly becoming incoherent again. His face was contorted into pleasure as his eyebrows pulled together, a moan slipping out every now and then as his left hand pushed against the roof of his car as his right hand came down to grab my hips and maneuver them to his liking. The fire was quickly building up in my stomach now with his continuous thrusts and it was starting to get harder and harder to focus on anything else but on chasing my own release. Mingi suddenly leaned up and circled his left arm around my torso as he flushed our bodies together, pivoting his hips up at a relentless pace, making me keen against his ear as my fingers tangled into his hair tightly. Mingi moaned loudly and fucked me harder as I moved messily against him, toes curling from the feeling.

“Fuck, Mingi—” My voice broke off into a loud moan as he finally found my sweet spot again, walls clenching down on him tightly. Mingi gasped and pressed his tall nose against my collarbone as he hit the spot again and again, his moans strained as I screwed my eyes shut, moving my hips in time with his, my hand coming down between us to rub circles against my clit.

“Doll—” Mingi groaned as my muscles tightened, so close to releasing finally as I threw my head back, Mingi’s name falling off my lips in whispers and broken moans. I could feel Mingi twitching inside me constantly and I knew he was close too as his breathing got even more uneven and arms tensed against my body as he leaned back, suddenly holding my jaw, making my eyes snap open, “Look me in the eyes.”

And so I did as I rubbed against my clit faster, Mingi’s thrusts wilder as his hand slipped from my jaw to my neck, putting the right amount of pressure against it. My lips fell open and in a few more desperate thrusts, I was coming undone against Mingi as my body tensed up and spasmed in his arms, moans spilling from my lips until I couldn’t breathe anymore, Mingi’s long fingers cutting off my air. My body shook as euphoria washed over every sense in my body, skin on fire and stomach coiling as I came down crashing hard, ears ringing before I could finally breathe, sputtering nonsense against Mingi’s lips as I fell forward, pressing my lips against his messily. He still hasn’t released yet and as my body went mush in his arms, he continued fucking up into me, head falling back as his moans grew loud. My lips sucked against the sensitive skin of his neck as my body ached from being used too much, but I knew he was close and I wanted him to fill me up.

“Mingi—” I moaned out in pain as my walls felt abused by Mingi’s relentless and messy pace, but when we made eye contact he knew what I was asking of him. His face contorted into pleasure once again and he bit his lower lip and whined as I clenched my walls around his dick, his hands coming to hold onto the headrest as his hips stuttered, stomach stiff as he came too, spilling inside me his warm seed. My stomach twisted at the feeling and I watched Mingi as he panted loudly, pressing his head into the headrest harshly. My right hand cupped his jaw and he lazily blinked his eyes open, watching me with clear eyes. A small smirk crossed his lips as he grabbed me by the nape and pulled me down, our lips meeting for a kiss as we both opened up, tongues meeting in a hot frenzy. I could feel my face heat up as Mingi’s tongue explored my mouth, slowly and sensually, making my skin tingle again as I pressed closer against him, kissing back with the same fervor as he was. He still hadn’t pulled out and I could finally feel the strain in my thighs as everything caught up with me at once, the yearning of my body. I could never get enough of Mingi, but I never allowed myself to think too hard about it. Mingi licked into my mouth with finality, sucking on my tongue before pulling away, a small string of saliva snapping as he went and sucked on my lower lip, making me push him away when he bit down on the soft flesh harshly. He seemed pleased with himself as he trailed his hands down the sides of my body, gripping my hips steadily.

“Wanna go for another race?” He asked seriously and I looked at him with an incredulous look.

“To lose more money that would go to you?” I asked with a scoff, making Mingi smirk as he lightly squeezed my hips.

“So, you do admit I would win again?”

“Don’t think you’re too special,” I rolled my eyes as Mingi smirked, “I’m just too spent after our little session…”

“Poor you,” Mingi mocked and pursed his lips, “Here I was, feeling like going for a second round…”

“I can’t feel my thighs anymore, forget it.” I snapped and made to finally get off him, but Mingi didn’t let me as he smiled, batting his eyelashes at me like he wanted something.

“And if we go home?” He asked airily, jutting his lower lip out, “Will you let me fuck you into the mattress?”

My jaw almost fell open, but I managed to stop myself as I tsked, smirking at him, “Can’t get enough of me?”

Mingi smirked and slightly raised me up by the waist, making me gasp at the friction, “Apparently I can’t.”

I chuckled as Mingi leaned up to peck my lips before lifting me off himself, an unfamiliar glint in his eyes which told me the rumble of our cars engines wouldn’t be the only thing keeping up our neighbors tonight.

Masterlist (divider)

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sillygoosealert · 25 days

Note

🫡 I will send in a request for some Bi-Han angst. Let’s do one where reader and Bi Han are in an argument (as couples do) and reader says something that’s very true (like idk he’s too quick to anger) And this causes a reaction out of him. And of course, being a stinky sexy angry man, he ends up lashing out in anger. And OOP- ice shards come flying towards reader, (the cold never bothered me anyway) cutting her cheek and slashing her forearm, along with a few other scrapes. Bi Han realizes she’s actually fucking RIGHT and showers reader with love, praise, and begins helping with her wounds. (Fluffy? Apology sex maybe 🤔)

WAIT WAIT THINK THINK BRAIN BLAST THIS IS REALLY AMAZING

Enough Anna..I SAID ENOUGH o(≧口≦)o

Bi-Han angst to fluff to sex 🤯 afab

‘Do you even for once want to think about how I feel about this? Because if you took a second to even talk to me half of your problems wouldn’t exist.’

His back is turned from you as he washes the blood out of one of his uniforms

‘Why won’t you look at me, I want to talk to you but you make it so, so hard. Can you even look at me, can you handle looking at me?’

‘Wouldn’t you like that? For me to just look at you and change everything about me. This is who I am, and you can either acknowledge that or continue to live in ignorance.’

‘But this isn't who you are. You are making rash and unusual decisions. I'm worried you are going to do something you'll regret immensely. You're quick to rage and you know that.’

He whips around, ice coming from his arm going towards you

‘What would you know about being Grandmaster? I am helping my clan- my people. They are thriving and are respected because of me.’

You don't hear what he says as your arms go up to protect your face and stomach from the ice shards.

They slice through your skin with ease, going through your forearm and shoulder. One even skims your cheek

It was only after his speech that Bi-Han noticed what he had done, a rash, and unusual decision that he immediately regretted.

But he doesn't make a move to go toward you, he just stands there in shock

However, you move, you move away from him quite quickly

‘Come back here. I meant no harm in my actions.’

You do not come back. You run off to the nurses

When the sky turns dark and inflicts its symptoms of the night- drowsiness, and the need for another to be by your side as you rest; you are no where to be seen

He knows it would be better to find you himself

So he wonders around until he finds you, bandaged up and sitting on a bench

‘I have been looking for you’

You look in his direction

‘Why didn't you come back’

‘You know why’

‘Please come back’

He's frowning, more than usual

‘Please?’

‘Please’

You get up, slowly walking to him

‘What do you need me to do to get you to come back?’

‘I don't know Bi-Han, everything hurts and I'm injured. I don't know if I want to come back.’

‘I’ll carry you back if you would like’

‘You’ll carry me back?’

You sound amused but he looks serious

He picks you up bridal style and starts to walk back to his room

‘You can’t just change for a day and expect me to forgive you. I don't think you'll keep up with this.’

‘With what?’

‘Being nice to me.’

He doesn't say anything to that.

After he returns to his room, he sits you on the bed

‘You are dirty’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘How do I help you clean, with your bandages?’

‘I need to take them off first, then put on new ones after’

‘So it's fine if you clean your wounds in the bath?’

‘Yes’

‘Okay..’

He takes you to his bathroom, carefully undressing you

‘Ow-’

‘Did I hurt you, What did I do?’

‘My shirt, you took it off too fast. My shoulder isn't looking good, I can just take off my own clothes..’

He shakes his head, pulling you onto his lap

‘I will be more gentle. Where else do I need to be wary of?’

‘It's just my upper body, everything else is mostly fine’

After removing your clothes, he turns on the water

Keeping you on his lap, he strokes your hair with one hand, and the other is wrapped around your waist

‘Feel the water, is that temperature okay with you?’

‘That's fine’

He slips you in, holding onto your chest rather than your arms

‘I am regretful of my earlier treatment of you. Will you let me show you I am sorry?’

‘Depends, how do you plan on showing me you didn't mean to harm me?’

‘You will see’

After bathing you, he sits you on his bed

‘Where do I need to wrap you?’

‘Shoulder and arm, anything else is fine being left alone’

He's slow and cautious when treating you, knowing you are vulnerable

You sit there naked and shivering as a man, much gruff, holds you

‘Does that feel secure?’

‘Yes, thank you’

‘I am..sorry’

‘I know’

He frowns, squeezing your cheeks with one of his hands

You return this act, cupping his face with one of your hands

When you think he's leaning in to kiss you, he just presses his forehead against yours

‘I want to make you feel good’

‘How do you plan to do that?’

He's in between your thighs, slowly laying down so his head is on your cunt

With a little kitten lick, he starts to work on your clit

His hands are gripping your thighs as you have a hold of his hair

Slipping in two fingers, he starts to pump them in and out of your warm pussy

One of his hands wonders onto your chest and plays with your nipple

Then he starts to thrust his tongue into your vagina, his fingers now playing with your clit

The pace is fast and hard, and he's grinding into the bed

His nose is stimulating you along with his fingers, its too much

You don't ask him to stop though, that doesn't even cross your mind

With another suck to your clit your hips stutter and you squirt into his mouth

He licks it up, even lapping at your pussy to try to get more

Sighing into the bed, he rides out your orgasm

When he doesn't stop though, your thighs clench around his head on instinct

Pulling away, he wipes his lips

‘Did you feel good?’

‘Yes Bi-Han, thank you’

‘Do you still hold what happened earlier against my character?’

‘I won't just forget what happened, but I don't hate you for it’

You run your fingers through his hair as he lays his head on your chest

‘Okay..’

‘I love you, I hope you know that’

‘Thank you..’

You kiss his head and you both doze off, what happened earlier doesn't matter right now

Nothing matters right now, it's okay

🎀

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starryknight-tarot · 6 months

Text

𝓨𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓻 𝓝𝓸

pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3 pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6

my masterlist<3 . paid readings

Hello my beautiful souls ✨ I am here with a really super quick and short pac for y'all. Let me know if you want more short readings like these. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath, and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. The artist is dayrisfelix in ig.

Pile 1

Card: Four of Pentacles

Yes, but careful. Don't let fear and worry control your judgement. You are working towards something stable and if not careful can end up in a bad situation. This pile might be the closest to a maybe but for most of you it is a yes.

Advice Cards: Put your tasks and goals in order

Yes you can . . . Set it in motion!

The key is in the application. Practice!

Channeled Song:

Pile 2 Card: Knight of Cups

Yes, your situation is looking optimistic and should go well! Just remember that you can't be in your head about it and work needs to be done.

Advice Cards:

It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul

Release all attachments that do not serve you

Physically and/or mentally, shape up

Channeled Song:

Pile 3 Cards: Seven of Cups

Yes, just remember to make your choices wisely and opportunities will come your way! Take things slowly and try not to make any rash decisions.

Advice Cards:

It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul

Practice the pause

Remain faithful to your ideal and find trust within yourself

Channeled Song:

Pile 4 Card: The Hermit

No, right now you need to take time to yourself and plan out your next moves. You need to be patient and do some reflecting on which path is the best to take.

Advice Cards:

Issues of balance are at hand

You may need to take a break from the situation or simple take rest

A rite of passage allows you to move forward into new realms

Channeled Song:

Pile 5

Card: Seven of Wands

Yes, stand your ground and stay confident in your decisions. Express what you want and it will naturally come to you.

Advice Cards:

Give yourself your own approval

Act on what you know

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

Channeled Song:

Pile 6 Card: Five of Swords

No, there is inner conflict that you need to work on before you can move forward. You may also be letting your fears control your decision making and it is hurting you.

Advice Cards:

The Universe supports your stance and decision

Have a closer look at your family situation

Control is an illusion. Surrender and allow the Universe to guide you.

Channeled Song:

Thank you for tuning in ₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

#tarot #tarot reading #pac tarot #pick a pile #pac reading #pick a card reading #tarot reader #spotify #pick a photo #yes or no #yes or no tarot #free tarot reading #free tarot #tarot witch #pick a pile reading #pick a card #pick a picture #general tarot reading

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gatorlovebot · 6 months

Text

find my king simon masterlist here and read from the beginning. thanks to @ghosts-cyphera @gemmahale and @redzscare for the encouragement <3

it seemed as if your little walk through the park was all that simon needed to get him acting like himself around you again. while he had spent most of the trip quiet and withdrawn, now, on your last night, he was coming back to himself. opening up doors for you, getting your chair for you at dinner, sharing jokes with you just to see you roll your eyes.

you spent a lot of this trip thinking. thinking about your wants and needs and your future. in the past, in only fleeting moments, you had thought about a future beyond the castle, beyond simon. but only just for a moment, before you told yourself you were being silly, before you told yourself you shouldn’t let your unrequited feelings for him get the best of you, lead you to making rash decisions. but maybe making a life for yourself elsewhere wasn’t a rash decision. maybe it’s what you needed.

when you both retire up to your rooms for one last night’s rest here is when he finally addresses what’s been going on. he’s slipped into the sleep clothes you laid out for him and is sitting on the edge of his bed, watching you fold clothes to put into his luggage in the morning. he offered to help but you shooed him away, knowing that his help would usually cause arguments.

“dove?” he broke the comfortable silence from his spot on the bed.

you just hum in response, scrutinizing a stain on one of his nice silk shirts. you can’t remember when he wore it on the trip, but you accepted it as a lost cause, knowing that it would be another full 24 hours before you were even back at the castle. no use fretting over it now. you ball it up in your hands, throwing it in a pile with the rest of his dirty clothes. you turn to him as he waits for you.

“come here,” he beckons you over with one of his outstretched hands. you take it, your socked feet coming to rest in the space between his big thighs. his hands are cold as they engulf your’s, the heating situation at the inn you’ve been staying at has been less than ideal. “i just want to thank you.” he says, earnestly, thumb brushing across your knuckles.

you laugh, just a quick breath out through your nose, “for what?”

he averts his gaze from your face back down to your entwined hands, seemingly trying to find the right words to say. he takes a deep breath before speaking again, “for being here, putting up with me. i don’t tell you enough how grateful i am to have you.” he squeezes your hands in his before gazing back up at you, “especially lately.”

it takes you by surprise, honestly, him acknowledging what’s been going on between you two. this back and forth of you trying to express what you want and him in turn, retreating. not knowing what to say, you urged him with your eyes to keep going.

“i’ve taken you for granted since you stepped foot into my quarters for the first time, if i’m being honest.” he lets out a little self-deprecating laugh, and your mouth opens on instinct to rebuff his claim. as much as you hated it when simon would speak unkindly about himself he wasn’t being untrue about himself. you let your mouth fall back shut as he continued. “but not anymore. you’ve really opened my eyes these past weeks. made me see things and feel things.”

his words taper off, voice sounding horse. you feel frozen in that moment, not knowing what to do or say. in the time that he had been reserved and standoffish, had he actually been doing self reflection? had he actually taken your words into account?

he seems to get a hold of himself and his emotions, clearing his throat before meeting your gaze again. his eyes are glassy but he has a small grin on his face as his volume drops, conspiratorially, “i have a surprise for you when we get back.”

a smile blooms across your face, matching his excited grin. a surprise? the king wasn’t one for grand gestures or making a spectacle of himself. curiosity got the best of you, different scenarios flipping through your mind one after another.

“just for us.” he gives you a cheeky wink and even though you roll your eyes you know that your cheeks are heating up under his attention. it felt like old times. but was that enough? the thought popped in out of nowhere, bursting your little bubble of brief happiness and excitement. these moments with simon recently were short and fleeting, you didn’t know how much more you could take of this back and forth with him.

you excuse yourself for the night, knowing you were both in for an early morning. you walk the short distance down the hall to your room. you undress and pull on layers to combat the winter chill in the air. when you finally rest your head, you dream of blooming flowers and a foreign city. when you wake the next morning you can’t help but remember being alone in your dreams.

even in the face of hours and hours worth of travel in a compact train car, simon is in an agreeable mood in the morning. rousing from his bed with less whining than usual. he slips on the clothes you picked out for him and gracefully grabs his heavy bags from your hands. “none of that now, little bird.” you know not to put up a fight, instead grabbing your small tote and trailing behind him down to the lobby of the inn.

simon makes himself comfortable next to you when you finally settle into your seat on the train car. not much to do to pass the time besides enjoy each other’s company. you two spend most of the morning resting against each other, finally having time to unwind after such a busy week. simon rouses you awake for an early lunch, having not had much for breakfast. for the past few weeks you two had spent many meals in tense silence, but now you make comfortable small talk, chattering on about this and that.

a few more hours go by, simon quietly reading aloud to you from one of his many books. at the end of a chapter he dog ears the page and sets it down on the seat next to him. “gotta stretch the legs, dove.”

you could tell that he was starting to get restless, his hand had been fidgeting with your fingers while the other flipped the pages of the book. he gets up from the seat next to your's, stretches his legs out in the aisle before slipping into a seat a few rows from your’s, next to one of his guards. you don’t mean to eavesdrop but it’s hard not to when the train car is so quiet, everyone else is either sleeping or keeping to themselves.

before you can fully make out what simon and his guard are conspiring about, simon's secretary takes the empty seat next to you. even though you had been hoping for a moment alone with your thoughts, he’s not an unwelcome presence. “i have some news that i think you’ll be interested in.” he offered, excitement clear on his face.

news? “well out with it.” you cajole him, a smile slipping onto your face at his poorly contained enthusiasm.

“well, i don’t know about you, but i’ve been having a delightful time working closer with you the past few weeks,” when you think of your time spent with the secretary you don’t think about the hours spent with him planning out your trip. no, you think of his proposition for you all those weeks ago. you avert your eyes for a moment, his gaze intense as you try to think of a response to what he said instead what he had offered you all those weeks ago.

you spot simon’s book, where he had just been sitting. you subconsciously adjust yourself closer to the window, putting just a bit more distance between you two. his smile falters at your minuscule movement, and you rush to find a response, “it’s been worlds better than working with the last secretary.”

there’s humor in your voice, you can laugh about it now knowing your king was sat just a few feet from you, safe. the secretary smiles at your dark joke, “i would never put you through something like that, mostly because i’m afraid of knives.”

his admission has you giggling for a moment before you contain yourself, “so, what’s this news?”

“yes, yes,” the secretary gets himself back on track, “i’ve been brainstorming ways we could work closer together that wouldn’t impede on your time with the king. it’s almost impossible to separate you two for even a few moments.”

he’s not wrong, but it still makes your cheeks heat up in discomfort, usually feeling uneasy whenever anyone pointed out your relationship to simon. “and then something absolutely perfect happened. one of the girls from the kitchen approached me about wanting other duties. if we got someone to take over your duties for the king then you could step into an advisory role.”

his offer has your interests piqued. not the advisory role, simon already listens to you over anyone else, especially his advisors. no, you’re interested in the girl from the kitchen replacing you. a way out. a little voice in your head says. you had never thought you could leave your role because there would never be anyone to replace you. but now there is.

you lean closer to the secretary and lower your voice, aware of simon’s proximity. “when we get back to the castle you can inform her that my duties can now be her’s. tell her to come to the king’s chambers first thing in the morning, she can shadow me.”

“really?” the secretary questioned, seemingly in disbelief.

“yes, but you have to promise to not say anything to the king about this matter yet.” you plead, dreading the idea of having to talk to him about this.

“i promise, this will be a big change for you and him, you should be the one to tell him about this.” he replied.

you have to blink away the tears that threaten to overwhelm your eyes knowing that you wouldn’t be telling simon anything.

#gator.writing #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #king simon

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mystery-star · 7 months

Note

What would it be like to be spock,s mate/ other half ?

This goes for a Non-Vulcan, gender-neutral reader

Words: 841

Warnings: none

First off, Spock would cherish and love you very much – in his own way.

So at fist it would take you some time to being able to read him and find out what his love language and way of showing his caring for you is.

Maybe that first phase can be frustrating because it feels like he’s still rather distant. Tho he’d actually need some time to get used to the whole situation and know how to deal with it.

But once you figured him out, so much he did earlier in the relationship would make sense. And of course anything else he does in the future.

It would take him some time too to get to know and fully trust you before he will tell you about what he thinks (and feels if he does have a feeling for once)

He will almost never say ‘I love you’ but use other words like ‘I cherish you’ or ‘You mean very much to me’ or ‘I must admit that I am feeling a sense of happiness I cannot and do not wish to suppress if I think about you having decided to be my mate’.

Which, if you consider him being Vulcan, is something very sweet to say.

He will always remember anything you told him and not forget any birthdays, anniversaries etc. and will also be able to gift you something that you maybe just mentioned in passing.

He’s not the most touchy person – especially in the beginning – and will not often initiate physical contact with you. Or at least ask first like if you’d like a hug when you’re not feeling well.

Which doesn’t mean he doesn’t like physical contact – it's just something he’s not used to and after a while he will even enjoy it when you just hug him. (But of course you respect his boundaries if he sets any and will also try to hold back some touches so you’re not constantly touching him)

If you don’t work on the same ship as he does, your relationship often becomes long-distance, consisting mainly of regular calls.

Which also means that moments he’s back with you are something to be cherished and enjoyed, making you try to spend as much time together as you can.

He’d make it clear that he also has a responsibility to the crew and the ship. Meaning his work usually comes first.

Then again, if he feels like your life is in danger he might even make a rash and not so logical decision sometimes.

Your little quirks would amuse him to no end and he’d find them super cute but he’d never admit it.

But if you mention them being silly, he will correct you, saying they’re a part of you and that he loves you as a person and you wouldn’t be you without your quirks, meaning he doesn’t want you without them.

You totally could have long talks with him and sometimes the biggest challenge is that they don’t turn into a monologue of him where he’s talking and talking about a topic. (eg something scientific or one of their adventures they’ve been on)

Of course you would introduce your families to each other and Amanda loves you from second one, treating you like a second child

Sarek is of course more reserved about it all and he might seem scary at the beginning but with time you learn to read him too and that he means very well and is fond of you as well.

Spock would teach you a lot about Vulcan and it’s culture while you try to show him things from your world and make him more open to them. And it’s much fun to see him try and struggle with some things (take Inline skating as a basic example)

Jealousy would totally not be a thing. Because you know that if someone flirts with him it would be illogical if he paid attention to it (and might not even notice what they’re doing). And he trusts you too and knows that there is nothing he has to worry about if people try to flirt with you.

However, there sometimes is the thought within him that he fears you could leave him for ‘someone better’, who is from your own race and would be able to show their love for you more openly.

Meaning that then it’s up to you to comfort and reassure him that he’s the only person in the whole galaxy you want.

It gets better once you get married because of the mating bond that would be done then.

The wedding would be mixed, part Vulcan, part from your world. And it most likely would come to be when he’s experiencing Pon-Farr.

But he has informed you about it and even proposed so he’d know that if it happens to him you will be willing to take him as your husband (or wouldn’t feel forced to just do it to save his life) and that it isn’t all totally surprising to you.

Thank you so much for your ask and sorry this took a while. (also I really hope I got it right and this was about what you wanted xD)

#ask and ye shall receive #spock #spock x reader #spock x you #ngl this was so much fun to write and finally do sth for spock again #he really is a lovely lovely cutie #ask #bullet fic #s'chn t'gai spock

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kilobaxis-blog · 8 months

Text

Why I think Donnie 2012 has BPD too

BEFORE I START THIS . I'm aware donnie has OCD CANNONICALLY but the OCD and BPD comorbidity, although not studied often, occurs often. About 15–44% (NIH Joshi, Gagan).

1.Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

I feel like this is the most dominant criterion for BPD. Donnie displays this by formulating elaborate plans to prevent april from not hanging out with him and saving her father after he got mutated --which I am aware is mostly because he's a good person and wants to save another human being-- but also it's pretty obvious he thinks this will bring her back to him.

RSD ( rejection sensitive dysphoria) is also VERY prominent in people with bpd. This is shown in episode 10 Fungus Humungous. Not just the rejection of April but of people all together seeing that april in the first few seasons is represented more of a concept to him rather than somebody he actually loves.

2.A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

I think it's safe to say the relationship april and donnie has is unstable. Mostly on donnie's end. He is shown to idealize her often but also has snapped on her once in the show when she didn't act/respond the way he wanted her to in season 1 episode 9. All of this is mostly in Donnie's head because the feelings aren't reciprocated, but the relationship for him at least is very intense and he has intense feelings about it.

3. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Donnie has A LOT of mood swings throughout the series. More than any of his other siblings and not saying a lot because of raph. It's mostly just anxiety and irritability that only lasts a few moments in the episode.

4. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I think Donnie displays paranoid ideation wich is characterized by persistent thoughts of distrust or suspicion. This is usually targeted at casey (the love rival) but sometimes it's inappropriate when casey and april are just standing next to one another.

5.Impulsive behavior in 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging.

Donnie is a teenage boy so this is a strech but I've seen him be impulsive with driving and making rash decisions in the heat of the moment. This is not to be confused with this compulses wich is diffrent from impulsive behavior.

6.Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

This one was kind of hard and maybe also a bit of a stretch because I do feel like Donnie does have a sense of self but when it's challenged he has an identity crisis and it sends him spiraling. When he can't fix something right away the one thing he thinks he's really good

at he begins to doubt his self immediately. This often occurs with people with BPD because we might lach on to one aspect of ourselves to have some sense of identity but when it's disturbed we get very discouraged/ depressed.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #donnie 2012 #2012 donatello #2012 donnie #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012

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queenie-official · 5 months

Text

Chapter Three: ‘First Impressions’ Bridgerton au!Anakin

part 1, part 2

a/n: so the outfits that Obi-Wan and Ani are wearing are the ones in the photos ☝️🤭but guys tell me how i had more of chapter four planned out then i did this chapter 🤨 like i fr already had dialogue for chapter four before i even started this one 😀 anyway i hope you guys like this 🥰

Once more you find yourself pacing around in an endless circle. Today was the day you were to meet him. The wedding was already set to happen in a week. however invitations wouldn’t be handed out for another two days, the council told you it would be wise to get to know your future husband a bit first- but honestly how much could you really learn about a person in such a short amount of time. it’s not like you had a week to get to know each other, no you had the day to get to know him before he’d be back off to his own kingdom till the wedding.

“you need to calm down” Padme’s voice pulled you from your thoughts. you look over to where she’s sat on the settee, a concerned look on her face. you’d asked her to come over and help distract you. to her credit she did try at first but she quickly realized nothing she could say or do would occupy your mind from the days events. “i’m calm” you say trying to convince yourself that more then her. “if you can say that while standing still, i’ll believe you” she retorts whilst standing up and walking over to you forcing you to stop pacing as she places her hands on your shoulders.

“you can’t blame me for being nervous, i mean wether this goes well or not this is the man i am to spend the rest of my life with” you vent, feeling your anxiety swirl. you felt like this was an impossible situation, marrying someone you didn’t know. obviously it was a common thing but it didn’t make the reality of it any weirder to you. “what if he doesn’t want to marry me?” it was a stupid question, the better question would be why would he want to marry you. he was being moved away from his home to a foreign place with different traditions and cultures. not to mention an entirely different climate, you’d read up on Tatooine it was a Warm desert kingdom a direct contrast to Alderaan.

“that’s a possibility” Padme answers, not the reassurance you wanted but you didn’t call padme here because she would lie to make you feel better. you called her here because she would give it to you straight but also support you the best way she could. “so then i’ve forced a man into a loveless marriage” you huff, feeling anger course through you as your once again reminded of the councils rash decision that got you into this.

“most people these days end up in loveless marriages y/n. most women at least, we have no say in who we marry it’s all decided by our fathers.” that once again didn’t make you feel any better but it was the hard truth. “this is going to be a long day” you’d slump over if you could but the corset you had on prevented you from most movement that involved bending of any form. “maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised” you could only hope she was right.

“i know it’s silly but growing up i always imagined marrying someone i fell in love with. my mom and dad where in love when they got married, a rare occurrence for monarchs. i always pictured having what they did.” you say sadly, it may not be the end of the world that your marrying a stranger but it was the end of that dream. a cruel awakening to your inner child. “it’s not silly, most little girls wish that” Padme says sympathetically.

“if my dad where still alive he’d have ensured it a reality” you say solemnly, feeling your heart tug at the thought. “Bail was a good man, a good king and a good father” you feel your eyes gloss over at her words, it was times like this you really missed him. your father was everything to you, he was all you had when your mother passed and vice versa. losing him felt like mourning two people at once, learning how to cope without your mother all over again in addition to coping without him.

“i miss him” it came out more as a whisper, you felt that if you spoke any louder the dam would break and tears would spill. Padme was quick to pull you into a tight hug. she was a big help when you lost him, a loyal friend who you knew would always be on your side. “i can’t help but feel i’m failing him” you let out the thought that had been nagging at the back of your mind throughout this whole ordeal. “he was and always will be proud of you” she said firmly, rubbing your back gently.

“would he be proud of me for this though?” you couldn’t help but ask. “circumstances changed y/n, you’ve done what you could. besides it’s not as if this was entirely your decision” she reassured you. you take a deep breath, indulging in the hug you both shared a moment longer before pulling away. “speaking of i really need to do something about the council before another reckless decision is made.”

“the sooner you’re crowned the Queen the better” she says with a laugh trying to lighten the mood, though she was being completely serious. right as you where about to respond your conversation was interrupted by Barclay barging in, an occurrence that was becoming more and more frequent with him.

“your majesty they’re here” he said and you stiffened, the reality of the situation crashing down onto you. you knew this was coming but it hadn’t truly felt real til now.

“oh i’m going to be sick” you mumble just loud enough for padme to hear, she gives you a gentle pat on the back a silent way of saying you’ve got this. as if suddenly reminded of her existence Barclay acknowledges her “Lady Amidala pleasure to see you” it surprisingly sounded genuine, though to be fair he had been sucking up to you the last couple days clearly something clicked in his mind that you where the one who controlled wether he actually had a job or not. that or there was something else motivating him either way his change in attitude didn’t sit right with you, something was off and you could sense it.

“Barclay” was all padme said to greet him not even bothering to turn in his direction to acknowledge him properly. you had to stifle a laugh, god you loved her. she kept her head high and walked right past him, she would be leaving through the gardens so no one knew she was there. the meeting was to be kept secret from everyone aside from the respective royal families.

with a sigh you nodded towards Barclay to signify you where ready. you both walked down the hallways heading to the main foyer, with each step you took you felt as if you where being pulled down. finding it harder and harder to move forward the closer you got. these where your last moments to breath without someone beside you- metaphorically of course, after all as a royal there’s always someone at least five steps from you which was tiring to say the least.

you could swear time was simultaneously moving faster then light and slower then molasses as you watched Barclay nod to the guards to open the doors that stand as the only barrier between you and the one you are to wed. it was hard to breath? but just as quick as the breath got stuck in you it was knocked right out as one of the guards rose there voice impossibly loud to announce your arrival.

“now presenting her Majesty, the Crown Princess Y/n Organa” it honestly made your ears ring but at the very least it served as a nice reminder of where you are and pulled you back down to earth. still it all felt a bit excessive to you considering there was only four people here excluding the guards.

Walking further in so that you and Barclay where now face to face with the two men, you scanned over them quickly. they both where good looking you had to admit, what threw you off though was how drastically different they where dressed from each other. for a moment you almost thought they came from two different places but quickly brushed that off knowing good and well that wasn’t the case.

“hel-“ just as you began to greet the two men you are quickly cut off by a third party you hadn’t even noticed was there. Chancellor Valorum. “greetings you are?” he said and you paused turning to see him standing behind you, how long had he been there? no one else seemed shocked so he must of been there for quite some time you concluded. but why was he there? deciding to act like you had known he was there you turn back to the two men. to your surprise the older looking one of the two directed his attention to you and not Valorum. it brought a small smile to your face, feeling like it was a nice change of pace finally be acknowledged instead of looked over.

“I am Prince Obi-Wan first born son of the Kingdom Tatooine. and this” he gestured to the pretty blonde beside him who could easily tower over you if he was close enough. “is my brother Anakin” he finished and you felt a little giddy, so far so good right? he was tall and handsome you could only hope he was kind and had a personality as good as he looked. though to your dismay the aforementioned man hadn’t even spared you a glance, thinking on it he hadn’t looked at you even when you first entered the room. that fact made your stomach twist.

“neither of your parents are joining us?” the chancellor spoke again before you could get a word in, honestly he was one more sentence away from you clocking him in the face. but you hold your breath and maintain your composure. this time Obi-Wan does acknowledge him but only to answer his question and you were guessing to not seem rude. “unfortunately our mother and father are quite busy but as the future king they deemed it enough for me to go with my brother for this” you felt like a child who could do nothing but watch as the grown ups speak as you look back and forth from the chancellor and him.

Thankfully Obi-Wan was quick to redirect his attention to you. “your highness shall we discuss matters more privately?” why couldn’t conversation with people of power always go this way, taking to you instead of over you. you give him a polite smile before answering. “yes let’s move this elsewhere” you say with a nod. “lead the way.” was all he said in turn.

as you all walk down the halls of the castle you can’t help but notice how quiet prince Anakin was. it worried you, was he always this quiet or was he choosing not to say anything. did he already hate you- to be fair if he did you wouldn’t blame him. if the roles where reversed and your kingdom had been basically black mailed into giving you up as marriage you’d probably hate the person you thought responsable as well. you found yourself actually wishing you two where alone so you could explain yourself and hope he could understand. Then again who’d say he’d believe you, it was worth a try though wasn’t it?

unsurprisingly throughout most of the meeting chancellor Valorum spoke for you any chance he could. and just as in the foyer Obi-Wan directed his answers to you. time dragged as you guys finished up flushing out the details of the agreement more thoroughly. it was all so casual and you couldn’t help but feel sick especially with Anakin sitting right there not saying a word. you couldn’t even get a read on his emotions his face was a blank slate. it made you anxious and you weren’t sure if you wanted to just hurry up and get all of this over already or drag it out longer so you could procrastinate the inevitable.

it was evident just how long the meeting had taken when you were met with the setting sun as you looked out the window. a panic ran through you when you realized you had no time at all to talk Anakin now and the next time you’d see him would be the day of the wedding. you where now truly going into this marriage blind- not that you would of learned much about him today regardless but anything would be better than nothing.

closing up the meeting with a handshake between the chancellor and Obi-Wan, even though he had clearly held his hand out for you- you all stand up and head out of the meeting room.

Anakin had still yet to say a word, Obi-Wan being the one to speak on both there behalf’s when saying goodbye. even as they walked away you watched as he didn’t even speak to his brother, maybe he was mad and his silence was the politest protest he could do. you could only hope your whole marriage wouldn’t be like this, what an awkward life that would be. though maybe you’d get used to it at some point.

all of these thoughts swimming in your head stopped as a pair of blue eyes met yours, it was brief and for a second you thought you’d imagined it. he had look back at you right before the castle doors closed.

that’s all you had to go off of until you would meet again for the wedding day.

part 4

okay guys the next chapter will feature a lot more Anakin and yes the pretty boy will speak 🥰 this took me forever to finish 😀 mainly because i’ve been writing this in between doing work 👩‍🦯👩‍🦯 anyways i hope you all like this chapter i know it was a lot more emotional then the others but reader is going through a lot at once 😭 side note i love reading your reply’s you guys are funny and real asf🤭 that’s all i have to say for now enjoy huns Xx<3

tag list: @luvvfromme @gatekeepingirlboss

#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin imagine #star wars anakin #atoc anakin #rots anakin #anakin x you #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker x reader fluff #anakin x reader fluff #anakin x reader oneshots #bridgerton au!anakin #bridgerton au!anakin x reader #bridgerton au #bridgerton #queenie’s thoughts xx<3

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mugentakeda · 5 months

Note

thoughts on Zhao ? are u as shocked as I am that Iroh never ended up killing him with his own bare hands ? do u think he was bummed he never got to ?

HONESTLY?!!!!! we have a complicated relationship. i really like zhao as a villain and i say that so very honestly. i think people make him out to be a lot stupider than he really is but at the same time he really is stupid in the way that evil men are always stupid. i think hes extremely despicable and hideously vain and his vanity clouds his judgement and causes him to make rash decisions.

this is all stuff we know about him already though its just that somehow that makes him come off as less scary to fans somehow?? but theres nothing scarier than a big loud man with a temper when youre a teenager with trauma from a dad like ozai. that agitation he so easily draws out of zuko is familiar to me.

i think that the way he makes himself seem SOOO above zuko while simultaneously licking ozais boots to get more power makes him even more ridiculous. and in an ironic way yeah because of all that i think hes a moron but unironically no i dont think hes stupid at all. it doesnt take a stupid man to work your way through the viper nest thats the fire nation high court. i dont think it takes an idiot to find wan shi tongs library and somehow manage to slither back out alive despite clearly lying to wan shi tongs face under his own roof. i dont think it takes an idiot to deduce who the blue spirit is. however it DOES take an idiot to think that killing the moon spirit to be rid of waterbenders when you come from a literal island nation in the tropics and your military relies heavily on its navy and you LITERALLY are using an armada to launch this grand attack

but then however comma yeah i do honestly agree with the popular vote that him going out of his way to harass and intimidate zuko is very slimy and strange and based on zukos immediate attempt at evading him this is something that has been going on for a While and the fact that iroh didnt notice or whatever really bothered me. Maybe its just because im an older sibling and i take that shit serious whenever kids are discomforted in the presence of specific adults (specific Men really) but whatever. i honestly doubt bryke wrote zhao with #that kind of weirdness in mind but that doesnt change the fact that hes a slimeball and iroh shouldve mollywhopped him right in his fat forehead. thats just what i personally wouldve done though like idk. like he is definitely the kind of adult i would keep a specific eye on because bitch!!!! hes just very unusual as hell and when youre a guardian looking after a kid then you need to keep an eye out for shit like that seriously

(one day ill make a post discussing how much more at ease zuko is in the presence of only women btw. One Day.)

and yes i DO wish that we got a missing scene or whatever with iroh and zuko after zhao Literally blew zuko and his whole ship and everything he owns up. like do you know how infuriating that is. waited until iroh and the crew were down the road to get zuko alone in his fucking pjs. a whole group of grown ass pirates doing all that with bombs for revenge over one bratty 16 yr old. i DO wish we saw some of irohs rage during the siege bleed back and forth from "anger over the moon spirit being killed" and "anger over you also nearly killing my fucking nephew" just as well anon.

and the fact that zhaos ambitions were centered on making himself more powerful and admired and he was doing literally everything to get zuko out of the way to make that happen when zukos reasons for capturing aang were so much more desperate and sad (not that that makes it ok but yall know what i mean). Like its just sooo aggravating and thats when i stop caring about how cool Zhao The Conqueror is as a villain and when i start wanting to pummel him with a cartoonishly large hammer

#I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION ANONSIE PIE!!!!!!#you all know i love going on these atla tirades lalalalalalaaaaa #asks

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rou-luxe · 12 days

Text

spoilers, william's path chapters 7-8ish; tw overall negative thoughts, partial vent?

not proofread

ignore the fact that my MC name is sand

I don't like talking about negative things too often especially not on a Tumblr blog but I am really liking Kate so far

I actually looked at this chapter a few days ago, but I needed some more time to think. this screenshot still stands out to me (William path is calling me out so bad)

this path is making me feel a lot more emotions than I should. it hurt. at first I didn't like William, but now I do, he's cool

apart from that I have a lot of thoughts on these two chapters

usually I don't like otome MCs. at all. they tend to make rash decisions, naive, oblivious and clueless, inconsistent characterization, forceful, etc. they feel really flat to me. but out of all the Cybird MCs I know (vamp, vil, pri), I feel like I relate the most to Kate... I'm not a fan of Kate's "innocent pure heart" (natural cybird MC character trait 💀), but otherwise...

of course MC varies by path, but in William's path she has trouble asserting herself, and Kate feels really guilty for things out of her control and things she can't change. she wanted to save all the people there. overall, Kate is considered a "people pleaser". sometimes I feel that way. unfortunately I'm much more of a loose cannon than her so nvm... but we do tend to consider others before our own. to the point this chapter felt too real to me. it brought me to tears, not something that happens often when I'm reading. it's likely something that happened back then (Cybird loves teaching us history...) a lot of shi happened in the victorian era. and then of course there's something personal. there's a lot of people who take substances in my family, and as much as I'd like to say "that's their decision"... I can't look away. it hurts to see them suffer. maybe that's why Kate suppresses herself so much. that's why she wants to be polite, to do anything to prevent people from feeling certain ways that hurt them as well. this route is already depressing, imagine how I'm going to feel in Liam route there's never that much info on the MCs, because you're supposed to fill in the blanks yourself... but again, I actually kind of like Kate more compared to the other MCs, because I feel more connected to her... kind of like how I feel some sort of connection with Alfons (I won't elaborate, but not in the unholy way.) I can't wait to see her develop more throughout this path I have to get to doing my work now...

#ikevil #ikemen villains #ikevil theories #ikevil mc #ikevil kate #ikevil william #william rex #ikevil spoilers #roubrainrot #routheories #character analysis

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ghostofskywalker · 1 year

Note

“look me in the eyes and say you don’t feel anything for me.” with our beloved tin can man din djarin

I LOVE YOU AND IM GIVING U THE BIGGEST HUG RN

hi my beloved i am so sorry i didn't get this done last week but here it is!! this prompt punched me in the gut but i love it

words: 1,130

summary: you weren't supposed to get attached to the Mandalorian. But he was easy to fall for, and now you had to reckon with the fact that none of it was ever supposed to be this real.

din djarin masterlist

It's Easier to Lie (When You Don't Stick Around)

Sometimes you wondered what your life would be like if you hadn’t become a bounty hunter. Maybe things would have been easier if you had decided to remain on Tatooine and lived life as a clerk in a clothes shop or a vendor in one of the open-air markets. It would have certainly been easier on your conscience, there’s no doubting that.

But as much as you occasionally wondered and daydreamed, there had only been one person who actually made you question your life decisions, and that was the Mandalorian. He was kind and gentle, and yet the way he would fight tooth and nail for the child that had become his in all but birth made you reconsider the pledge of solitude that this life forced you to live.

It didn’t help that you had been traveling with them for a few rotations now. Unfortunately, it was a necessity, as he had something that you had been hired to steal, a priceless artifact that had been perceived as lost since the Clone Wars. And he wasn’t exactly going to just hand it over if you asked nicely (as he had been hired by someone else to ensure its safe passage), so you had to play a bit of a double agent.

Now, that plan was all falling into place. The Mandalorian and his child were both asleep, and you knew where he kept this artifact. There was a small part of you that felt bad for taking it, but you knew that he did well enough for himself that his child never went hungry. And besides, when you lived this life, you couldn’t afford to be soft.

Soft, like you could feel your mind becoming every time you looked at him. It didn’t make sense, why you were so immediately drawn to the Mandalorian when you hadn’t known him all that long, but it was the reality you were faced with. And it certainly didn’t help that you had used the feelings that you would usually push down and try to ignore to your advantage, and things had gotten a little out of hand.

You didn’t know what he looked like, but you knew that his lips were soft, softer than you’ve ever felt before. You had no idea what color his eyes were, but you knew he was a passionate and committed lover. What hurt most of all was the fact that you kissed him knowing that there was no way you’d be sticking around, that all of this was simply just a means to an end.

At first, you thought he would understand.

Then you heard him moan your name quietly as he slept.

Things were getting too real too quickly, and it scared you to no end. If he had asked you to forsake your previous life and travel with him until the end of the galaxy you would have said yes in a heartbeat, and that was not okay. It was bad enough that you had already stayed three assignments past when you had said you would leave, and you were starting to wonder if taking this priceless artifact was really worth the inevitable pain of leaving, and having him realize that you had betrayed him.

But an angry communication from your employer had opened your eyes to the truth, and now all you wanted was out. You wanted to leave him before you did something rash, before you threw away your future and your reputation for something that you weren’t even sure was anything but infatuation. You wanted to return to your life of solitude before you allowed him to tempt you into staying.

You had just slipped the artifact into your bag when you heard his voice. “Stop right there.”

“I don’t want any trouble Mando,” you said, drawing your blaster. “I promise it’s nothing personal.”

“I don’t know, it feels pretty personal.”

“I promise-” you started to say, but he cut you off.

“Was any of what we shared real?” he asked, and you could hear a hint of hurt in his voice through the modulator of his helmet. “Or was it all just a ruse to get what you wanted?”

You hesitated, which gave him the answer he needed. “I meant what I said, you know,” you said, casting your thoughts back to the conversation you had shared with him when you first came on board, about how you were afraid of love because you’ve never known what it felt like, and that the life of a bounty hunter was the only life you’ve ever imagined yourself succeeding in. “I’m sorry, but it has to be this way.”

“Does it?” he asked. “Look me in the eyes and say you don’t feel anything for me. Was it really all just business?”

It was the closest thing to pleading that you had ever heard from him, and you gulped quietly, not knowing if you could truly commit to his request. It scared you so bad, the idea of admitting your feelings to the object of your affection. But as much as wished things could have been different, you knew that you were here because you had a job to do, and you didn’t intend to leave it unfinished.

“Nothing we had was ever anything more than business Mando,” you said, the chilly edge to your voice hiding the way your heart broke to speak those words. “I thought you of all people would understand.” He didn’t say a word, and due to the helmet on his head you had no idea what expression he wore as he registered your words.

You expected him to put up more of a fight, you expected to have to prove your worth if you were to leave with this artifact, but that didn’t happen. The Mandalorian stood to the side as you walked out of the ship, and even though you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew they were watching your every move. You almost would have liked it if he had tried to stop you, because this was so much worse.

When you finally got back to your own ship, you sent a comm to your employer, telling him that you had acquired the artifact and where to meet you to get it. This better be worth the credits, you thought, as you set course for the rendezvous point, your mind still fixated on what (and who) you left behind.

Maybe one day you would meet again, and you could beg for his forgiveness.

Maybe one day you would allow yourself to feel the things for him that you were currently ignoring.

Maybe one day you could be a family.

But right now you had made your choice, and you had to live with it.

- the end -

#2023 spring ficlets 🐝#din djarin x reader #din djarin #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction

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galene-gothic · 2 years

Text

Your charm

☆ 🖇️ 𖥻 ＜꒱ PAID SERVICES

Pile 1

You seem to have something very delicate looking about you. I feel like people lose their sleep due to you. You are especially attractive to people who seem to be a bit colder and unattainable? People who seem to have things under control are the type that you tend to attract. Your ability to put heartless effort into things or people is really attractive for some reason. You might be a charmer who has no feelings for someone but still flirts with them, might be unintentional too. You might put effort into people like f-boys, f-girls, players or just emotionally unavailable people, people who tend to be unaffected by other people's affection seem to get attached to you and try to change for the better. You might also be the type to not pay much mind to people that like you while still being polite, respectful and grateful but still overwhelming them with charm? However, if you have/had a love interest that you were chasing, people think you act really different when you like someone. Are you the type to enter a lot of situationships or talking stages? Or if not many then just significant ones? You also seem to be a problem solver. Others will give up on something saying "that's impossible" but you make it possible. You also seem to be very witty and original. You have the ability to change people's minds, stop fights, etc. You might come as either good or bad karma to people depending on the karma that they've accumulated. You seem to have a fair perspective and try to influence others to be a bit fair regarding their approach in life as well. I think you should try to be in touch with your heart and make choices with your emotion more often. You seem to be that cold person who is actually just an affectionate fluff ball once you get close enough. You might be undergoing a period of change right now.

Pile 2

You seem to be the type who's not afraid to disagree. You also seem to be very competitive. I'm not sure but you seem be going through some sort of pain in the eyes of others. You come off to be the type who's been backstabbed in the past and that's a part of your charm. You also are the type to take action even if it's not well catered. You might make rash decisions and I'm not sure but somehow you still manage to reap the benefits out of the situation? You don't like faking, do you? You probably know how to accept your flaws and faults. You seem to be really honest to yourself. Damn, you're the literal epitome of the villain who's really misunderstood but loved by the general public. Self mobilized isolation might be a thing for you. People might be scared of accepting their feelings for you in case you reject them harshly or hurt them😭 people seem to be scared of you in general though. I'm getting you being a rose, you're so pretty but your thorns prick but people's love for you is so much, they are willing to become a slave to your thorns.

Pile 3

Physically attractive, you also look really good with orange-ish lighting (ykwim?-), you also seem to look really good in the dark (I mean not completely dark.) People tend to romanticize you a lot and make scenarios in their heads while listening to music especially love songs, I am getting them pretending you wrote those songs for them. If you're still at school, people from school might find you want attractive. Your charm seems to lie in the way you carry yourself. I'm getting you having drawn visuals, like webtoons, anime, etc. I'm getting the 'sun-moon' trope relationship here for some reason. You also seem to be really well mannered and well spoken, people wish to listen to you speak. I'm getting the whole 'unloved people being loved suddenly vibes' from you. You might be oblivious to the fact that there are many people who like you or maybe you know but just don't acknowledge it. Your ability to create opportunities out of thin air is really attractive to others. Also, your ability to stay true to yourself but unlike pile 2, I feel like you do have a calmer aura that you maintain. You know how to control your desires and act very responsibly when needed. Some of you might avoid revealing certain parts of your body. You know how to turn impulse into determination. You seem to have a very strong personal character. Your emotional depth is something that many value. I'm certain that things are changing positively for you right now.

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sairee · 4 months

Text

Keep it buried (Ghost x Soap)

Laswell confronts Ghost about leaving. When she brings one of Soap's sketchbooks, Ghost can feel his resolve cracking.

Chapter 41 excerpt from Don't Let Me Go on ao3.

Ghost shook his head and took a sip of his drink to stop his thoughts. He’d carefully trained his brain to think of nothing but the present. It was easier that way. Less painful.

An eruption of boisterous laughter coming from his team caught his attention and forced him to look up against his better judgement. He let out a huffed breath and quickly looked away. He leaned back in his chair and rested his head against the wall, the tiredness he felt weighing down his eyes.

He tapped his nail against the glass and pointedly ignored them across the way.

Maybe the free drink wasn’t worth it.

Ghost looked to the right and squinted his eyes slightly as he searched for a washroom sign against the back wall. He’d just located the neon sign hanging above a small corridor when he noticed a figure approach his table out of the corner of his eye. He looked over just in time to see it pull out a chair and sit down across from him.

Ghost let out a sigh as he immediately recognized who it was.

“You’re not supposed to know where I am…” Ghost stated blankly.

Laswell shifted slightly in her chair and leaned forward on the table, clasping her hands in front of her.

“I took some liberties with the rules,” she said matter-of-factly.

Ghost let out a huff in disbelief. “You do that a lot.”

“I can when I made them in the first place.”

Ghost took a long and drawn out sip from his drink. He looked past her to scan the bar again. He didn’t want to look at her… or couldn’t. He didn’t need to be reminded of the past any more than he already was. This was the last thing he needed. Why was she here anyway?

After a few moments of tense silence, Laswell spoke up again.

“I never took you as one to make rash decisions.”

The even-toned insult cut right to the chase and forced Ghost to look at her. She stared back with a neutral expression.

Ghost grunted. “You must not know me very well then. Why are you here?”

“I’ve known many men who decided that happiness wasn’t for them,” Laswell said, ignoring Ghost. “They dedicate themselves to the job. Dedicate their bodies to the work. Refuse anything that goes against this ideal.”

Ghost shook his head at yet another lecture he appeared to be getting. Surely she had better things to do with her time.

“Some might find that noble,” Ghost replied. He hoped he didn’t sound too defensive.

“It’s not,” Laswell retorted. “It’s self-sacrificing bullshit. The world doesn’t need another martyr. It doesn’t care. It’s not honourable to give your life – anyone can do that. Real bravery comes from choosing to be happy when the world is fighting to keep you miserable.”

Ghost rolled his eyes and put his drink down on the table with a thud.

“Did you come all this way just to insult me?”

“No,” Laswell said, leaning over to reach at something underneath the table. She ruffled through a black bag for a few seconds before finding what she was looking for, placing it on the table in front of Ghost.

It was a regular notebook about one centimetre in thickness. The hard, black cover was wrapped in a small elastic from top to bottom to keep the slightly yellowed pages shut. Imprinted gold lettering at the top read out NOTEBOOK and was surrounded by a simple, rectangular border. The worn away edges and sporadic scratches against the cover indicated it had been well-used.

Ghost immediately recognized it as one of Soap’s notebooks.

“This one was accidentally left behind when cleaning out your old room and locker. By the look on your face, I’m assuming you know what it is.”

Ghost flicked his eyes up to look at Laswell with careful caution.

“What’s in it?” he asked.

Laswell linked her hands together again. “I don’t know,” she stated plainly. “I didn’t look. It’s not for me to look, now is it?”

Ghost felt the unwanted presence of the notebook demand his attention again and he slowly trailed his eyes down to look at it. He clenched his jaw as he focused intensely on keeping his expression neutral. He remained silent.

Laswell shifted in her seat and let out a sigh, the first display of emotion cracking through her stony exterior. She tilted her head slightly and pursed her lips, a tinge of sadness glinting in her eyes.

“Let me ask you this, Simon,” she said softly. “What do you think will cause more harm? You staying or you leaving?” Laswell paused for a second before finding the right words to continue. “Who are you hurting more? You… or John.”

Ghost harshly clenched his fist underneath the table, hoping the pain would help him clear his mind from of the incoming thoughts that threatened to spill over.

Laswell stood up from the table like it took great effort to move her body. She picked up her bag and let it hang down from her hand. Her other hand rested gently on the table as she stopped her movements, hesitating.

“I won’t be keeping tabs on you anymore – I’ve stuck my neck out enough as it is. I just figured you should have that. Simon, I truly hope you’ve thought about what you’re doing and… and if this is what’s best… then I wish you luck. If not… well… just know you’re not as alone as you think you are. You still have a family out there.”

With that being said, Laswell slung the bag over her shoulder and turned away from the table. She took a few long strides across the bar and opened the door to the outside, disappearing into the chilly night yet again.

Ghost’s thumb wiped away the condensation on his glass, unable to tear his eyes away from the notebook. The entire bar appeared to go silent as if waiting with bated breath for him to do something. The edges of his vision darkened until nothing beyond his table existed.

He should walk away. He should throw it in the trash. He should…

He traced his fingers along the edge of the notebook as his mind continued to scream at him to stop. He struggled with his heart which tugged him in the opposite direction. The book felt like it was sparking with life underneath his fingertips.

His willpower cracked and Ghost pulled the book closer. He slipped the elastic off and gently turned over the cover, beginning to flip through the pages.

The drawings were scattered messily across the pages without any rhyme or reason. On some pages, every last inch of space was filled while on others there was just one image. They ranged from loose line art, to detailed sketches, to fully shaded drawings. As he flipped through the pages, Ghost carefully examined everything he saw.

There were a few drawings of the paper crane he had made from several different angles. To his knowledge, Soap had only seen it for a short period of time. It amazed Ghost how much Soap could draw with detailed accurately just from memory.

Soap’s dog tag looped across two pages in winding coils and curves. A large Rubik’s Cube remained unsolved with various levels of shading on the pieces. A bottle of Scotch poured out into a small glass, a few drops splashing out and dripping down onto the table it sat on. A tree bent over slightly as its branches blew in the breeze through a wide window.

There were a number of drawings of people Ghost didn’t recognize. They were other soldiers as indicated by the collars of their shirts on some of the portraits. There were a few of them he recognized as being on the base when they were holed up in Austria many months back.

A full body image of König took up the entire height on the page as he stared straight forward. A curved arrow pointed to his head with the caption ‘He has no right being this tall. What do they feed Austrian babies anyway??’ written in Soap’s normal, messy handwriting.

He also saw detailed drawings of the rest of the 141.

Price slept in a chair with his arms crossed over his chest and his ankles linked together. The image was a familiar one. Ghost imaged Soap would have had many opportunities to draw this one. His chin was tilted down and his hat obscured half his face.

Next to him, Price’s hat was drawn to greater scale. ‘Burn it.’

Just below Price’s hat was also a drawing of Gaz’s baseball cap. ‘This one too while we’re at it.’

Ghost let out an unexpected chuckle.

Gaz’s side profile was intensely focusing on something undrawn in the distance, his brow furrowed seriously. On another page, Alejandro scowled deeply as he sat next to a beaming Rudy giving a thumbs up.

Ghost came across a small conversation the two of them had had while listening to a boring debriefing one day, the memory sparking to life before him.

‘wanna bet 50 quid on which direction the lieutenant will authorize the siege?’ Soap had written.

‘YOU’RE ON.’ Ghost wrote in his normal capital letters. ‘SOUTH IS THE SMARTEST OPTION.’

‘you’re right. that’s why I’m saying north.’

Against his better judgment of the situation, Ghost had lost the bet. The memory of Soap’s smug smile made his chest clench painfully.

‘I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE 50 QUID.’

‘oh no… what could you POSSIBLY do to repay me…’ An innocent smiley face.

Ghost kept flipping through the pages until he was several pages in. There he started to see a lot of drawings of himself that made his heart flutter.

Incredibly detailed drawings of Ghost with his mask on from a number of different angles and looking in various directions. His eyes looked so real and somehow appeared to sparkle under nonexistent light on the page. In one image, his eyes were half-closed in an annoyed expression. In another, the corners of his eyes crinkled happily and, although he couldn’t see it in the image, he could feel he was smiling under the mask.

There were a few drawings of him with his eyes closed, the relaxed looseness of his brow and the way the mask folded oddly on his face indicating that he had been asleep when they were drawn.

Ghost recognized several iterations of his balaclava and hard skull mask across different lighting conditions. His knife was clenched tightly in his hand, the sketching work on his fingers looking incredibly realistic. Two entire pages were dedicated to sketching all of Ghost’s tattoos in a mosaic of no particular order.

He flipped the page and felt his breath get caught in his throat.

Two detailed drawings of Ghost’s face filled the page – without his mask. The lines that shaped his face were soft and perfectly placed. His expression was open and his eyes squinted tenderly, as if amused by something. The corner of his mouth was pulled up in a small smile that one could easily miss. Each of his scars were meticulously drawn on his skin that even he himself would not be able to place correctly.

A scattering of eraser bits littered the page which hadn’t been wiped away yet. Ghost gently dragged his hand down the page and wiped them away, the shavings floating silently down onto the table.

Ghost could feel tears start to sprout in the corners of his eyes and he swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut. He focused on the sound of his own breathing, struggling to keep his mind level-headed.

The carefully crafted wall that Ghost had built up began to crumble down in a matter of seconds. The thoughts he had tried to keep at bay for so long flooded his mind. If he didn’t get control of himself soon, he would surely drown in them.

He missed Soap so fucking much. He missed Soap so much that he felt every nerve ending in his body longed to touch him again.

He missed Soap’s unwavering presence by his side both on and off the battlefield. He missed the way Soap would start to bounce his leg or tap him fingers when he was starting to lose focus. He missed Soap’s annoying humour and shit-eating grins.

He missed Soap’s kind eyes that seemed to see deeper into Ghost than anyone had before. They seemed to see something that even Ghost couldn’t see in himself. He missed the way he pressed his lips desperately against Soap’s as if he was the air in Ghost’s lungs. He missed Soap’s warm body and warm hands that clung to him at night as they lay in bed together.

He missed the way that everything felt easy when he was with Soap. How everything felt like it was going to be okay. The world didn’t seem so dark when Soap was the light next to him, the two of them walking side by side.

Ghost slowly closed the book and rested his head back against the wall, every fiber of his being pulsating with longing.

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grogusmum · 11 months

Text

Seven Tears part 6

SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER

WORD COUNT: 2500ish

SERIES SUMMARY: Months after being abandoned, she does something rash and summons a selkie, who wishes to bring her comfort and maybe more.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Summer moves quickly on Roan Inish, Pearl and Cee grow close and the baby is born, but the fall brings the annulment at last, and with it there is retaliation and a choice is made.

WARNING: Olde Timey gender norms and sexism, though set in mid-20th century Ireland, and Ireland's predominantly white, Reader is physically undescribed, as are her blood relatives, her missing spouse, and his family are white, reader gives birth (not described), Cee in peril, ANGST, Colin and Jamie continue to be horrible people, Ezra is a selkie, yes, it deserves its own warning, excessive use of pet names, painful cliffhanger - its going to be okay, I promise! (as always see something say something. please let me know in my DMs if there is a warning I missed)

A/N: Welp, at 364 days since the last update- it hasn't been a literal year since the last chapter... After I finally got it down and started editing I realized why I had such a block. At least part of it anyway... This is a tough one. I understand why I kept diverting to writing side fics with sexytimes, new-fangled doodads, flashbacks of shenanigans, and so forth. While I was figuring out this chapter, and well into writing it, I spent most of the time saying to Ezra, can we just make breakfast and snuggle??? Of course, he's no help because he says yes let's. Like so many of my penultimate chapters, it's a cliffhanger and a painful one, and I am so very sorry. But I am not stopping and taking a break to do other fics. I will be writing part 7 this weekend.

Gaelic Translation (with a dash of history)

Móra dhuit ar maidin: good morning, is a twist on the traditional Dia dhuit ar maidin which means God (be) with you. Some believe this is where the infamous “Top of the Morning” Mor meaning big, Mora believed to be a “lost word”. However, it was discovered that in fact, this is one of the quite rare surviving pagan blessings. Mór was a significant goddess (note: attributes quite different to the Morrigan or Mór Ríon, even if sometimes mixed together) with many avatars. Of course, this all can be debated to the end of time, when one’s religion and language are made illegal so much is lost.

Gaeilge translation

A ghrá: love

Mo stór: Literally translating to “My treasure,” this phrase is often used to mean “my darling.”

Part 5

Series Masterlist

‘You would have to become a selkie yourself.’

Ezra stopped further conversation that night about it. “Today has been long and arduous, and not the hour for decisions of this magnitude, Moonbeam.” He had said, then unfairly distracted you as only he can.

Your time on the island was magical. You cleaned out the other cottages and your parents brought some basic furniture. The cottages were sparse but appointed with the necessaries to visit comfortably. The visits from your family and Tilda and Fergus were lovely. Because your relocation was for your safety and protection, no one knew beyond that circle. You knew you would miss your friends and cousins. But for now, you were distracted from missing them too badly because Cee came to visit, often. It was new to her, and she found it great fun. She would look at her human feet or hands and laugh with wonder, she would tell you later ‘wonder at their ridiculousness’. You noted fondly that she had a little bit of her father’s laugh.

The first time she came up out of the water you got to see the transformation firsthand. Her flippers felt for the seam under her snout, invisible to the eye. She then pulled it apart and a blonde teenager emerged.

Blonde. You looked at Ezra, flabbergasted. To which he said-

“There is a saying, my Pearl, all toads are frogs but not all frogs are indeed toads. Uncommon it may be, but one needs only look for the sea storm in her eyes to know.”

Cee came and went from the shoals, and Ezra reminded you not to worry, that as your belly rounded with every week that passed, he would be the worrier in the family.

Spending the morning fishing with your Da and Thomas, Ezra is gone when you wake. This is his way of thanking them as they usually have other supplies for you. Cee emerges from her bed which is curtained off in one corner of the great room, as you set out two bowls of porridge.

“Móra dhuit ar maidin (MOR-uhg(w)itch air MA-jin), Cee”

“Móra dhuit ar ma–” Cee yawns openly, “jin. Where is me Da?”

She, then, sniffs the oats hopefully.

“Fishing,” You tell her. “Why don' you cut some apples, dear.”

“With hooks and a line?” Cee chuffs as she sets to the task. You can not help joining her mirth.

You are with Cee on your own for the first time-

“You must have missed Ezr- your Da. I did not know I was keeping him from anyone- I would have encouraged him to visit. I am truly sorry, Cee.”

“‘tis the nature of things,” Cee says, mouth full of apples and oats, “besides if he were to slip back into his pelt and visit, he could not return to you for seven years. He has loved you a long time- everyone knows that!”

You are taken aback, you hardly register the sweet knowledge that she and others in his pod knew his love for you, thinking about the fact that if he goes in he can not return for seven years. Seeing her come and go, you assumed, with no small amount of relief, that bit was a myth, and you tell her so.

“Oh, I can come and go, because I am a natural-born selkie. Da was turned.”

“How was he turned?”

“Well,” Cee starts, “ehm, that is probably a story he ought tell you. Though he don' really like to tell that tale.”

By the time of Ezra return, Cee’s words were pushed out of your mind. For the pair of you had gathered seaweed and dug clams for luncheon, and you had felt your first real kick from the baby.

“Pearl! Come sit,” Ezra pulls you into the house. “You need to rest.”

Sitting you down by the fireplace, he settles on his knees, splaying a large warm hand on your lower belly, soft brown eyes on you, hoping to feel another kick.

“How does everyone?”

“Very well, Moonbeam,” Ezra absently runs his hand over the expanse of your middle, then drops his head on your lap. “Patrick had some supplies for us as well.”

“Any news?”

“Well…”

“What, a ghrá (uh GHRAH)?”

“Colin and his brother are still ragin’. Dierdre is making progress with the annulment, tis not sitting too well, it seems.”

“Pity sake”

“He deserves none," Ezra's eyes darken and you see his selkie nature for just a moment.

On the longest day, your water breaks at 4 a.m. The gift of midsummer's day is that daylight is already breaking, and Ezra can take the currach out right away and fetch your mam. The whole of the family comes back with Ezra and waits outside the cottage as Deirdre and Felicia help you bring young Rory into the world, with Ezra attached to your side.

When Rory's shoulder breaches its final barrier with your last mighty push, he slips like a seal into your mother’s waiting arms.

Ezra kisses your glistening brow and with a whoop, he runs to the window to shout to kin both seal and man-

“Tis a boy! With a shock of red hair from who knows where!” To which everyone whooped and laughed hardily.

“It’s midsummer! That’d be the faeries doing!” Hugh calls.

“Someone tell that boy to hush,” Deirdre says to no one in particular, shaking her head and crossing herself. She hands off the swaddled babe to Felicia, who brings him to you. Your Mam goes to the fireplace takes up an iron poker and draws talismans into the ash, muttering about faeries, calling St. Bridget to protect the home and all dwelling within.

You, Ezra, Rory, and Cee grow more in love with every passing day. There is nothing Cee enjoys more than when Rory is in his boat cradle, being lulled in the shallows tethered to a rope you hold fast to. During his fussy times, it is the only thing that calms him. She swims round and round it, bobbing up to check on him. Ezra barks his laugh at Cee’s antics and in the evenings he holds his son close, nosing his cheek and murmuring in the old way. And of course, any chance he gets, he brings you closer to him than many would find humanly possible. Nights are spent worshipful, in one another's arms. When the babe is wakeful, Ezra brings him to you, and when Rory is fed and dozing he silently takes him back to his cradle.

Summer rushes past as it has a habit of doing and autumn comes. Plans are set for this morning to go to the mainland to sign papers for your annulment.

“Tis finally here,” you sigh, kissing Ezra, the baby dressed and ready for a boat ride. “I’ll go to the church and get this settled at long last and meet you at the pub?”

“Agreed, mo stór (mu store)” Ezra says as he carries out a basket to the currach, he sets it in the boat and then helps you aboard, as you hold Rory.

The tide is with you as is the wind, so your trip is uneventful and swift. Ezra kisses your cheek and takes the baby for Tilda and Fergus to see and you head up to St Bridget’s to finally wash your hands of Colin. You smile as you walk the familiar cobbled road, excited butterflies in your belly. You remember to be watchful, knowing Colin and Jamie, this day is sure to stir up a hornet's nest. All is quiet, but you start to feel as though it is too quiet.

Ezra brings Rory into the pub, head up, bursting with fatherly pride, and Tilda comes round the board, hand on her heart. She takes up the baby as she gives Ezra a peck on the cheek.

“You may never get the wee one back,” Fergus laughs.

“Look how big you’ve gotten!” She coos.

“He is but a weed of a thing, growing faster-” No sooner does Ezra sit to catch up with his friends, does Hugh run into the bar, holding a stitch in his side. Ezra stands, his nostrils flaring as his eyes go dark, as if the barometer just fell and he could feel a dangerous storm brewing.

“I was- I was down at the docks-” he gasps trying to catch his breath. “Cee was there, knew it was the- the big day. But Colin-”

Ezra was on him, hands like vices on his shoulders.

“Ezra!” Tilda commands. He let go but the huff of his breathing bristles his mustache.

“What about Colin,” Ezra’s voice is like nothing they have ever heard. Rory fusses.

“He’s got Cee in a net, started dragging her out. Da -.”

Ezra bellows.

“Watch over Rory, Tilda. Hugh, does she know?”

“No, I came here first. Thomas has a boat- one with a motor-”

“Good lad,” Ezra breathes and storms from the pub, Hugh following behind.

At the dock, Ezra prowles up and down, until Thomas comes into view.

“Over there!”

Ezra looks at the small vessel with an outboard motor, mildly distrustful.

“Hugh stay at the dock and keep watch. We will get to the boa-”

“No. Go back to the island.”

“Wh-”

“I need my pelt.”

Cee twists and bites at the net, angry at herself for getting caught. Knowing this was to get to you and Ezra. Other seals surround her, trying to help.

She barks, nostrils flaring, pointing with her nose behind her. Two seals peel off and go in the direction she indicates, while one stays with Cee.

Soon enough two gray seals like torpedoes reach Ezra, flanking the port and starboard bows. Their heads come above the surface and one barks.

"Go on ahead to the island, in the hamper at the end of the big bed. Fast. Meet me back at this boat. Mind the propeller," Ezra shouts over the wind and motor.

The seals put out a burst of speed, porpoising in and out of the water.

"What are you going to do?"

"You have to tell her," Ezra's voice breaks, eyes rimmed red. "Tell her, I will return even if she can't bring herself to come to me. I will-"

"Ezra?"

"I promised," he wails, "I have never promised anyone anything- only she! But I can't let Cee-"

"She'll understand."

"I'm deserting her!"

"I will tell her."

"Is there anything to write with?"

Thomas rummages a bit and pulls from his pack, a small notebook with a pen tucked in its spine.

Ezra takes it and begins scribbling frantically.

Jamie’s boat speeds along, gulls scold them, and seals chase. Colin and Jamie jeer at them, determined to take their offense out on the young selkie. Heedless of the long-held taboo and the consequences that can befall entire villages, for harming a seal. Whether or not they know Cee was a selkie or a seal, they laughed in bad humor and wondered if one of them would make wife of her. They are both quite lucky Cee could not hear their base chatter.

After chewing at the net for some time, Cee finally breaks through the net, barking a laugh of triumph. When she slips free, she rolls and tumbles with her companion in celebration. When she has had her fill, she bobs in the water watching as the craft continues east. Cee barks at the other seal and sets after the boat at top speed. Only after she chews the netting that held her captive to shreds, does she make way to the mainland. But it is not long before she is faced with her mistake.

You arrive at the pub in good spirits, but your relaxed smile is wiped clean off at the sight of the faces within. Your face falls further seeing Tilda with Rory, and Ezra nowhere to be found.

"Where-"

For the second time today, Hugh bursts in like the devil is at his heels-

"C-cee-"

"Is she alright?" Tilda says standing.

"She is! She- she got away, but she's ragin' on the stand!"

The lot of you pour out of the pub. Fergus tosses out a lone customer and locks up behind. Hugh hastily explains what he knows, as your eyes become saucers. At the beach Cee is half out of her coat, as she is covered with the blanket that Tilda had the forethought to bring, she seethes-

"Da went after 'em. He didn’ know I broke free on me own until after he’d done it! He's angrier than I have ever seen!"

"Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" Your eyes search her.

"He's not mad at that- well he is bu' he's fit to be tied because-" Cee's words pull up short, she looks like she might cry. "He thought- he- put on his pelt. I- I'm sorry."

You look as though you've been struck in the face, but you rub her shoulder absently hoping she knows you do not blame her.

"He's gone after the boat, he wi- he'll sink it," Cee finishes.

"Where's Thomas?" Asks Hugh.

"I'm here!" Thomas runs down the rocky steps, and hands you the note.

My shining Pearl,

I am loath to break my promise and beg your forgiveness.

Do I dare remind you that we spoke of you coming with me?

Though I admit that conversation was far from over.

Do I presume to ask for this gift?

Would you don a silken seal coat, mo ghrá?

Would you do this for me though I hardly deserve it?

Yours forever,

Ezra

When you finish reading, you find yourself turning a lost circle, pebbles shifting underfoot.

"I- he-" You look down at the note again, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"He didn't want to!" Thomas says, beside himself.

"Of course, he didn't," Dierdre soothes.

Trembling, you rush to Tilda grasping her hands. Blinded by the tears that refuse to fall, you don't see what everyone else can see plain, she knows your question and hates the answer.

"The Maiden and the Seal-lord! She- she was able to take her grandmother's pelt! You have one from yours, yes? Please yes!"

The waves crash, as though very ocean can not abide your tears.

"Darlin, my seal gran has too many greats in front of it to tell us, even if I could dig it up and give it to you," Tilda holds your panicked face in her worn hands. " Which I would, I most surely would. But it would not transform you- for no matter how close I hold you as kin, you must be a blood relation. Your way… if you wish it, it will be harder."

Your wail breaks her heart, gulls echo your cry.

You take Rory in your arms, the note crushed in your hand, and climb Widow’s Rock.

"Ez-ra!"

Deirdre sends everyone back to the house and carefully climbs the rock. She wraps her arms around you and Rory.

"For right or wrong, God forgive him. He will sink that boat and come back to you, even if he can't take off his coat."

You nod in response, eyes on the open water-

"I need to talk to Cee.”

Part 7

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