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#and I don’t really want anyone to see my main blog
myfandomhalf · 6 months
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Season Finale
Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments
You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.
First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.
And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.
Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.
And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.
He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.
And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.
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cordrot · 1 year
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okay i’m getting quite a large influx of new followers so just want to quickly put out there that i am going to limit the amount of canon portrayals i write with because i want my interactions to be meaningful and don’t want to double up on plots and things like that!! i also won’t be making a mains/exclusives call yet until i’ve had a chance to plot/write some more on here! happy to support all the portrayals but interaction wise, i will be limiting myself 🤍
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khadgarbignaturals · 1 month
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the flameshaper heroic tree for pres is really cool except this one talent that i absolutely hate
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enkindle sucks. there’s more testing to be done to see if pres gets the dmg increase or not, but that’s not the main issue. the main issue is that there is no way you’d ever run the echo hots build with this bc echo does very little healing. it would basically be only for blossom which sucks bc this is the hero talent tree that actually gives prevokers a meaningful st heal that doesn’t take 2+ gcds (which is smth we rly struggle with). if u did run echo hots build with this tree, you would basically have a dead talent which feels bad, esp when these trees r one of the main selling points of tww. ​u don’t play echo for the healing it does. u play it for its ability 2 spread hots which this tree looks like is supposed to boost but with this talent you’d either have to either waste 3 essence on blossom or have a dead talent, both of which suck
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shit-eater-69 · 1 year
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Sometimes loving someone means being brave enough to sit with them and their pain and fears, to grieve and worry and wait with them. Just being willing to acknowledge their reality without ignoring or minimizing it.
Sometimes caring about someone means dealing with the messy and painful truth that sometimes you can’t help them, but that if they want you to or need you to, you should still try.
#posting here because I don’t want my friends who follow my main blog(s) to see#I would tag this as what it is but I don’t want anyone to have to read my angsty tags lol#vent in tags:#I just feel so broken right now#not because there’s anything wrong with me (I mean there literally is but like. you know what I mean) but because I just#I need support that no one seems willing or able to give#I need someone to be someone’s first priority for once#Im so tired of playing the role of emotional support when my body is decaying and I’m always in pain and I don’t know if I’m gonna die from#this in a few months or a few years or a few decades or if by some miracle I’ll live a normal lifespan#and I spent my whole life wanting to die and now I want to live and I could die#and every time I try and talk about it they ignore it entirely#literally they just message around what I say like I didn’t say anything at all#it doesn’t matter how much I try and make a joke of it like they do their depression and stomachaches and stuff (because at least having#them acknowledge that it’s a thing. even as a joke. would hurt less than the blatant refusal to even discuss my reality)#or if I post serious issues asking for help in vent#or what. it’s just become increasingly clear they don’t want to hear it or be there for me for it at all#I want someone to hold my hand through this and all I’m getting from my friends is silence#And all I’m getting from my parents is ‘oh but you could be fine’ . and my siblings don’t care enough to talk to me at all#I want someone to ask me how I feel about it. I want someone to sit there with me. I want someone to give me some sympathy or compassion or#ANYTHING. like. I literally messaged one of my friends today saying smth along the lines of how I was really emotionally distraught but#that I’ve learned that no one is gonna pay any attention anyways so I was just gonna isolate myself and she just said ‘ok’ like ??#sometimes I just. hurt so deeply in every way emotionally and physically#and I wish someone cared about me enough to be brave enough to sit with it and wait with me#I wish someone else would admit how mind numbingly terrifying this all is because i feel like I’m watching a horror movie where everone is#laughing and critiquing all the silly things about the costume design or w/e. but it’s my current reality that’s the horror movie
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alisonwritesimagines · 8 months
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Please Don't Be In Love With Someone Else ~LA!Shanks x Reader x LA!Mihawk Imagine~
Summary: You keep waiting for Shanks. But someone new comes along and suddenly, you're not so lonely.
Author’s Note: You read the title correctly. I'm evilly laughing right now as you read this in pain. Also, this is technically a rewrite of the angst ending cause the one I wrote and in my drafts is more fluff than angst.
Angst Ending to I Was Enchanted to Meet You
Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: angst, fluff, but angst to all you Shanks lovers
Side Note: This is a secondary blog. If you comment a question down below, I will not answer since this is not the main blog. Please send the question to my inbox if you want a response back!
Do not repost this anywhere!
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It had been years since you last saw Shanks. And it's been a year since you last saw Luffy. Ever since he was old enough to sail off in the world to find the One Piece to become King of the Pirates, you had been by yourself since. Of course you did a lot for your small village to keep you occupied but you still missed your boys.
You were tending to your garden as it was time for you to harvest before it became spoiled and over grown. That was until you heard someone say something behind you.
“You don’t seem like someone who can harm a fly."
You turned around to see the warlord Dracule Mihawk standing before you. You stood up straight to seemed less intimidated.
“I can hurt a fly. Don’t think I’m good at harming anyone else,” you tell him as you crossed your arms.
“I see.”
“I know who you are so what do you want?” You asked.
“I was sent to kill you but in all honesty, I don’t think I can kill you. You’re too beautiful to be killed,” he tells you.
“Who sent you to kill me?” You asked, now worried. You’ve stayed in the island since you were born. Not only that, you stayed even when Luffy left.
“Not to worry now. I don't have any intentions to kill you," he tells you.
"Then what are you still doing here?"
"I'm curious to see why someone would send me to go after you."
"Feel free to stay. Just to tell you, it's going to be quite boring," you tell him.
Mihawk stayed around the next day to watch over you. He didn't understand why Vice Admiral Garp would want a warlord like him to kill a sweet little thing like yourself. You did nothing of the sort that would be considered dangerous or even pirate bounty level dangerous.
"Ow!" You yelled as you accidently burnt yourself with the pan.
"What happened? What's wrong?" Mihawk asked you as he rushed inside your home.
"Just burned myself," you tell him.
Mihawk quickly grabbed your bucket of water before gently putting your finger in the cool liquid.
"Thanks," you tell him.
"Of course."
"I made extras if you'd like. I got used to cooking for two," you tell him.
"Was it for you and your past lover?" Mihawk asked you.
"Not really surprisingly. I used to take care of a little boy who used to live with me who had a bottomless stomach. He wanted to become a pirate so he set sail a year ago," you tell him.
"I see."
"So, dinner?"
"Why not."
Mihawk stayed for a couple more weeks before he needed to back out to sea. You stood on the deck as you watched Mihawk get ready to leave.
"So I guess this is farewell?" You asked him.
"For now. I will be back in a month at most," he tells you.
"To finish me off and claim your berry?" You asked.
"No. To come see you again," Mihawk said before sailing off. You shook your head at him before walking back to your home.
You assumed Mihawk was lying or joking when he said he was coming back to see you. But to your surprise, you opened your door to see him standing before you.
"Brought you some new seeds for you to grow in your garden," Mihawk tells you.
"I'm guessing you're staying for dinner?" You asked with a small smile.
"If you'd have me," Mihawk said. You nodded before letting him inside your house.
-
As much as you didn't want to admit, you fell for Mihawk. Even though part of you hoped for Shanks to come back, you appreciated the fact that no matter how long Mihawk was gone for or even if he was wounded badly, he came back to you. Even though Shanks would come back to you, he hasn't for years.
"Will you be mine?" Mihawk asked you one night. After a midnight stroll, you both headed back to your home. Mihawk stopped you from walking inside by holding your hand.
"What?" You asked in shock.
"Be mine. I've fallen for you Y/n. And I swear to you, I would never let anything happen to you," Mihawk tells you.
"Alright. I'll be yours," you tell him. Mihawk gave you a small smile before pulling you towards him.
"May I kiss you?" Mihawk asked you.
"Yes."
Mihawk cupped your cheek with his hand before leaning in to kiss you.
-
Shanks rushed over to your home after being away for so many years. He was excited to tell you his adventures and was looking forward to seeing you once again. He knocked on your door, his heart pounding in excitement.
Instead of seeing you, he saw someone else open the door. His smile faltered as he stared at the stranger in front of him.
"May I help you?" The stranger asked him.
"My apologies. I was hoping to find Y/n L/n? The woman who lived here?" Shanks asked.
"Oh. I'm sorry. She's been gone for quite sometime. She left the village I want to say two years ago? Her and her husband moved to another island."
"Her husband?"
"Yes. I'm surprised she married a warlord but he had been kind to the village whenever he was here," the stranger pointed out.
"Do you happened to know her husband's name?"
"I believe it was Dracule Mihawk."
Shanks made it to Mihawk's castle where he knew you would be at. After demanding to see you, Mihawk came out to talk to him.
"You should know my wife is resting," Mihawk tells him.
"You took her from me," Shanks angrily tell him.
"I didn't take her from anyone. When I met her, she was alone," Mihawk informs him.
"She never told you about me?" Shanks asked.
"No she has. I just never told her that I knew you."
"Please. Let me see her!" Shanks asked.
"Let me see if she's well enough to move," Mihawk said.
"Is she sick?" Shanks asked.
"Not entirely."
Shanks waited anxiously for you to come down. His eyes widen when he saw Mihawk helping you down. Your stomach was large but he knew that it was because you were pregnant. And what's worse was that it wasn't Shanks's child you were carrying. It was Mihawk's child.
"Shanks?" You asked in shock.
"Hi, Y/n."
-
You sat in the garden with Shanks alone so you two could talk. Shanks stared at you, admiring your beauty once more. While you thought you were alone, Shanks knew that Mihawk was watching nearby.
“Are you happy my love?” Shanks asked you as he held your hand.
“I am. Hawk Eye makes me happy,” you tell him with a small smile.
“I’m happy that you’re happy.”
“I did wait for you Shanks. I really did. But I feared that if I waited any longer, I’d be too old for you,” you tell him with a frown.
“You could never be too old for me. You could have white hair and many wrinkles and I’d still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” Shanks tells you. You smiled at him before tearing up.
“I loved you Shanks. And I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you longer."
“Don’t apologize my love. I’m sorry I didn’t come back to you sooner,” Shanks said. You nodded before taking off your makeshift necklace that held the ring Shanks gave to you. You handed it over to Shanks before kissing his cheek.
“I hope life treats you well and I hope you find a woman who will love you endlessly as much as I did,” you tell him.
“And if Hawk Eyes dares to lay a hand on you, come find me. I’ll protect you.”
“I know you will."
"So this is goodbye then huh?" Shanks asked you.
"If you find Luffy, tell him I miss him and love him dearly. And that, he's more than welcome to visit me or find me whenever he wants," you tell him. After all, Luffy was yours and Shanks's unofficial son and you two were his unofficial parents.
"Goodbye, Shanks,” you tell him before giving him a kiss on the cheek once more.
“Goodbye, my love.”
You sat on the couch in your lounge room waiting for your son to arrive with his new fiancée. Twenty five years had gone by and you had lived your life. Dracule sat next to you as you both waited for your son to come home. Now that your husband has retired from being a pirate, he had spent his time with you while your children explored the world.
“I wonder what she’ll be like,” you tell your husband.
“I trust his judgement. After all, I chose well didn’t I?” Dracule joked.
“You most certainly did,” you smiled.
“Mom! Dad! I’m home!” You heard your son say.
“Over here!” You called from where you were.
You smiled at your son the moment he walked in but your eyes widen from the sight of the woman next to him. Not only did she have the exact same hair as Shanks, but she also had the same eyes as him. It was no doubt that she was Shanks's daughter.
“Mother. Father. This is my fiancée, May,” your son said proudly. You smiled at the woman before getting up from your chair to greet her.
“It’s nice to meet you, May,” you tell her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Mrs. Mihawk.”
“Please call me Y/n,” you tell her as you shook her hand. You noticed her necklace with a ring on it. It looked exactly like the one Shanks gave to you from years before.
“I like your necklace,” you say.
“Oh thank you. My father gave it to me. Said it was his prize possession,” she tells you. You felt your heart break a little from what she said.
“Will we be able to meet your parents soon?” You asked.
“Unfortunately no. My mother passed away from childbirth and my father passed away not too long ago,” she tells you. You frown from hearing that.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s alright. I’m really glad to have met your son,” May tells you. You smiled at her before giving her a hug.
“Well, I know my son will treat you well. And if he doesn’t, you tell me,” you tell her. May smiled at you before looking at your son.
At the end of the night, you stood outside on your balcony as you stared up at the stars.
Maybe this was the universe telling you that in another life, you and Shanks end up together. But you did wish he didn’t have to be gone so soon. You wished that he would’ve came back to you sooner and maybe you two could've had the future you two wanted together.
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snakesbones · 2 years
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Not sure if this has been done before. But a meme about making backgrounds for drawings. I hate drawing backgrounds so I normally have my ocs in a void with a colourful square behind them.
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togrowoldinv · 5 months
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Sexiest Woman Alive
Milf!Actress!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader
Wanda is a renowned actress that you’ve been seeing for a while. She gets named the Sexiest Woman Alive and you show her just how much she deserves it
Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, mommy kink, oral (W receiving)
Note: I know way back someone sent me an ask saying Wanda should be named the sexiest woman alive, so this is for you anon lol. Enjoy this!
Milf Wanda Masterlist, Main Masterlist
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You have heard rumors that the woman you’ve been sleeping with is going to be named the sexiest woman alive, but you really haven’t put much stock in them.
The gossip blogs love to write about Wanda. who could blame them? Wanda is quite a sight to see. She hit it big after being in a few Oscar-nominated movies.
You met her on the set of her last movie where you worked as a producer. She didn’t seem like the type to be with someone like you, but there was an undeniable connection. Wanda suggested you two keep things casual, as being with someone like her is no easy task.
She didn’t want you to fall under the scrutiny of the media or for anyone to think less of her new movie just because she was sleeping with the producer. But things with her always felt more than casual.
Wanda brought you home this week to meet her kids and brother. She doesn’t get to spend near as much time with them as she wants to, so you felt honored that she invited you to join her.
You met the kids, Billy and Tommy, and immediately it felt like a family unit. Wanda didn’t say anything, but she could feel it too. Her brother, Pietro, felt the same way. It felt like home.
Wanda wakes up with a peaceful smile on her face. She rolls over and wraps her arms around you. You feel her breasts pressed against your back. Wanda drops a kiss to your shoulder.
“Good morning,” Wanda says, her accent she usually hides slipping through.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” you reply.
You turn in her arms to rest on your back. Wanda rests a hand over your heart and gazes into your eyes. It’s truly the perfect way to wake up.
She leans down and kisses you softly. You deepen the kiss until Wanda’s phone rings.
“Ugh,” she groans out, a pout forming on her perfect face.
“Ignore it,” you mumble. You pull her by the back of her neck closer to you again. She grins at that.
“It’s my agent,” she says.
She places a soft kiss to your cheek before she grabs her phone. She answers it. You can’t hear what the person is saying, but the smile on Wanda’s face tells you it’s good news. She hangs up the phone.
Wanda takes a deep breath and turns back to you.
“It sounds weird to say this,” she begins. You nod to encourage her to keep going. “That was my agent telling me that I’ve been named the Sexiest Woman Alive.”
“Wanda! That’s so cool! Are you excited?” You ask.
“I don’t know,” Wanda admits. “I mean am I really-”
“Let me stop you right there,” you interrupt her. “You are 100% without a doubt the sexiest woman alive.”
You kiss her to accentuate your point. Wanda happily obliges and kisses you back.
“You’re the sexiest woman alive,” you say between kisses. “And the sexiest mother alive. And the sexiest actress alive.”
“Mmm, you’re too good to me, baby,” Wanda says.
You grab her by the waist and flip her over onto the bed. You move your hands over her body as you kiss her. Wanda’s tongue brushes against yours. She lets out the sweetest moans.
“Let me show you just how sexy you are,” you say to her.
“Please baby. Show mommy how sexy I am,” Wanda replies.
You love when she gets like this. You lift Wanda’s nightgown over her head and throw it to the side. Your lips immediately go to her nipples.
“Yeah, just like that,” Wanda encourages you. She holds the back of your head to keep your lips sucking on her breasts.
Your hand sneaks down her abdomen to land between her legs. She wears lacy panties that you can feel her wetness through. You feel the way her hips stutter at your touch. You press harder against her core.
“Y/n, baby,” she moans out. “I need you.”
“Where do you need me, Mommy?” You lift your head from her breasts to ask her.
Wanda pushes on your head to direct you further down her body. You drop kisses to her abdomen and thighs before you dive into her center. You lick a stripe up her pussy. She moans at the feeling. Your tongue works against her as she continues to soak up the feeling.
“Please, I’m going to come,” Wanda says.
“Come for me, Wands. You’re so perfect,” you say.
She cries out and comes hard against your tongue. You clean her up and move back up her body. You kiss her deeply and Wanda moans into it.
When you pull away, Wanda still has a lustful look in her eye. You move against her to relieve some of your own tension between your legs. Wanda pulls you on top of her further. You get the message. You align your own pussy with hers and move slowly.
“Fuck,” Wanda says. “Baby, you’re so good.”
You pick up the pace at her words. Wanda loves watching you move against her like this. Just your two bodies working together to feel so good. Soon, you come together, and you fall onto the bed next to her.
Wanda kisses you softly and you rest your head on her shoulder.
“This is more than just casual, isn’t it?” Wanda asks.
“I think so,” you admit. “But for now, can I just ask you one question?”
“Sure,” she says.
“Can I go with you to your Sexiest Woman Alive photoshoot?” You ask. Wanda chuckles and you can’t help but laugh too.
To you, Wanda is the most beautiful, funny, and intelligent person you know. The magazine made the right choice.
You’re luckier than anyone in the entire world that you get to be with her.
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forever-rogue · 1 year
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Hi, I love your blog so much it's amazing.
I was wondering if you could write some Joel Miller being jealous? Like they're in some kind of relationship but Joel doesn't want to put a word to it and arrive to some camp and a guy from there is trying to flirt with reader but she just has eyes for Joel, could be the first I love you confession from him, to make things official between them? Fluff because my heart can't handle anything else :').
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AN | Jealous!Joel? Okay, okay, I see you!
Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language
Word Count | 2.5k
Masterlist | Joel, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Joel Miller wasn’t a relationship type of guy; he hadn’t been for a long time and it seemed pointless to start now. And that’s exactly how you found yourself in a sort of relationship with him…a situationship if you will. 
He also wasn’t the jealous type either. You weren’t his girlfriend, or his partner, or what have you. You happened to be another person living in Jackson that he spent an inordinate amount of time with and had sex with. Lots of sex…he liked to think of it as stress relief. Yeah. That’s it - stress relief. Everyone could use some of that given the current state of the world. 
But, in conclusion, you weren’t anything more to him than anyone else. 
So why did he experience a definitely-not-jealous-feeling deep in the pit of his stomach when he saw you talking to one of Jackson’s newcomers?
He wasn’t jealous. No. Nope. Definitely not. 
He just wanted to strangle any man that talked to you, or looked in your direction. It was a totally normal reaction…or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Joel?” you found him stalking through downtown and had rushed to catch up with him. You hadn’t seen him in the last couple of days and when you had he’d barely spoken a word or even graced you with a look. 
You could see his shoulders stiffen for a moment but he slowed his stride so you could catch up with him. You quickly fell into stride, but you could sense that he was in a mood. You nudged your arm against his and he grunted in response, “what?”
“What?” you parroted back at him, frowning in response, “or like what’s been up with you lately?”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” the man was stubborn beyond measure sometimes. You huffed and waited for him to expand but he refused to give in to you, “been busy.”
“Busy,” he refused to look at you, but he could feel you glowering at him, “we’re all busy, Miller. That doesn’t mean we don’t make time for each other.”
“You expect me to make time for you?” his twang came out as he stopped suddenly and you almost tripped over your own feet as you stopped as well. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, head cocked to the side. Your expression clearly said duh, “and just why would I do, sweetheart?”
“You’re being a jerk,” you pushed his shoulder, gently, although you doubted you could really do much damage to him, even if you wanted to, “last time I checked I thought we enjoyed spending time together. But over the past few days you’ve had such a-a bee in your bonnet.”
“Last time I checked I didn’t owe you anything,” and oh. Those words definitely stung, “we aren’t anything.”
“Oh wow,” you were hurt, but you weren’t about to let him know how much, “that’s rich coming from you. I don’t know what your problem suddenly is, but if you’re going to be a jerk, you can fuck off. And next time you need something, don’t bother knocking at my door. But if you decide to get over whatever this is, or want to talk to me like a grown man, you know where to find me.”
Your reaction had left him stunned; he knew you could hold your own when you needed to, but you’d never talked to him like that before. In that moment you definitely weren’t that soft, sweet girl he’d grown to love. Love. But he’d never admit it; truthfully he might not have even come to that realization just yet.
You stomped away, leaving him standing there and staring after you, a dismal expression on his face. He might have been a quiet man, but he wasn’t often left speechless. You’d just managed to do so.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You made it a point to avoid him over the next couple of days, figuring that if he really wanted to make things right he would come to you. You missed him, admittedly, but decided to throw yourself into doing things around town to keep your mind occupied. 
That’s how you’d gotten to know the newcomers to Jackson. There were a few women and teenagers, along with some men. For the most past, they were all kind and wanted to keep out wherever they could. 
One of the duties you least liked was being put in charge of one of the community gardens. You had a green-thumb adjacent at best, and didn’t want to be the only one responsible for any bad vegetables or fruits, so you had recruited Max, one of the newbies, to assist you. If you were going down, he was coming right along with you.
You liked Max, so far. He was around your age, handsome in a tall, dark, and roguish way, with a nice smile and good sense of humor. And, unlike men had done since the dawn of time, he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. So, you had decided, he was going to be your friend. 
“You’re horrible at this,” Max laughed as you fumbled around with some tomato vines, trying to get the ripe fruit without destroying anything else, “how are you making this so difficult?”
“Shut up,” you groaned but it quickly turned into a laugh as you fell onto your bottom from how you were teetering and crouching. You managed to knock the whole plant down (sorry tomatoes), “oops.”
Max had dropped the small shovel he had been working with, head thrown back as he laughed, “and you’re clumsy on top of it. I’ll remember that for the future.”
You grabbed a small handful of soil and threw it over at him, “bold of you to assume that we’re ever hanging out again after this. You’re bullying me!”
“So dramatic,” he snorted in amusement as he brushed off the dirt and came over to you, offering you his hand to help you to your feet, “come on, I’ll let you bully me in return.”
You took his hand and he gently hoisted you to your feet. You almost stumbled into him, but caught yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders as his found purchase on your waist. You looked at him in surprise and he smiled softly, causing you to relax. He was so close, and pretty, and nice, and you could just lean in and kiss him. Max must have been thinking the same thing because he started to lean in too. A shiver of excitement ran down your spine, until-
“Get your hands off of her,” the two of you jumped apart at the sound of his very angry voice. Your face flushed with warmth, a combination of being caught red-handed and annoyance because you weren’t technically doing anything wrong. Max’s glance shifted over to Joel and then back to you, “now take a step back.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” you hissed at him, “why are you here, Joel?”
“Are you two…?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
At the sound of Joel’s answer your eyes widened in surprise as your jaw almost dropped to the ground. Max held up his hands in a sign of surrender as he started to slowly back away, “hey man, I didn’t know she was your girl.”
“Don’t worry Max,” you offered him an apologetic look, “I didn’t know that either.”
“I gotta go, but I’ll see you around,” he said sheepishly, “bye!”
He almost ran off, leaving the two of you there, the tension so thick. After a moment you turned towards him and shook your head. You weren’t quite sure what to say so you decided to just walk past him, but not before giving him a full glare, “you’re such a dick sometimes. First you shove me away like I’m nothing and now you act like I’m yours. How about I make the final decision? We, you and I, are done. Whatever you want to call it, it’s over. Maybe then you can figure out your own feelings.”
But the man wasn’t about to just let you go. No, that was not his style. 
His fingers wrapped around your wrist and his strong grip kept you from walking away. 
“Stay,” he insisted gruffly, causing you to pout in that way that always made his knees weak. 
“Why? Are you going to apologize?”
He remained silent and you could see that the answer to that was clearly no. You huffed as you pulled your hand out of his and started to walk away. He remained silent as he watched you go. He could have just said everything he wanted to and gotten it all out there but…he’d chickened out. 
“Fuck,” he groaned, “fuck.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You didn’t run into Joel again for almost a week. You wondered if it was partly him avoiding you or you just didn’t happen to cross paths. Jackson was only so big; you knew the truth. 
But as your feelings would have it, you really, really missed the man. He’d become such an important and vital part of your life and not having him around felt like you were missing a huge part of your heart.
When you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore, you made a plan to take matters into your own hands. You left your place and made the short trek over to his, knocking on the door loudly. He was home; you could see the light and if he had sort of sense, he would open the door. 
After a few long moments of buzzy anticipation, you heard his familiar footsteps come towards the door. He opened it slowly and his brown eyes widened when he saw that it was you. He was a mixture of confused and happy.
“What are you…?” he didn’t get the opportunity to finish his question, instead watching as you made your way inside, brushing past him and causing sparks to shoot down his spine. 
“Can we just talk?” you were already in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you looked at him softly. You couldn’t help it; you were a sucker for this man.
“Yes,” he agreed, coming in and mirroring your position on the other side of the counter. You wanted to be made, or at the very least annoyed, but you couldn’t find it in your heart, “I’m sorry for what I said.”
“Which part?” if he thought you were letting him off easily, he was so wrong, “the part where you said we were nothing, or the part where you changed your mind - unilaterally I might add - and decided we were something?”
“Both,” he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long sigh, “I was an idiot.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, “you were. What changed your mind?”
“That kid,” you could see the tick in his jaw as he frowned deeply. Ahhh. Yes, you knew exactly what was going on; Joel Miller was jealous. He just wasn’t going to admit it in those terms. 
“His name is Max,” okay, maybe now you were just doing it to get a rouse out of him, “and he’s perfectly nice. He was just helping me.”
“He wanted to do a little more than help,” the man tore his gaze from you and huffed. 
“Joel Miller, you’re jealous,” your smile was practically stretching from ear to ear as you beamed at him, “just admit it! That’s what all this has been about?”
“I’m a grown ass man,” he sounded anything but, “I don’t get jealous.” 
“Okay, so you weren’t jealous just…something incredibly like it?” you asked. He shrugged dismissively in response but gave away no emotions or anything, “huh, that’s interesting.”
“It’s not, no. I’m not the-”
“I get jealous too sometimes,” you admitted sheepishly, hiding your face in your hands, embarrassed to admit it out loud, “when those women practically throw themselves at you. Makes me want to…I don’t know, show them you’re mine.”
“What are you-”
“You’re such a man,” you flopped your head to the side, “those women - and men - love you. You’re sexy, and smart, and lots of other things, but apparently so oblivious. But I guess that doesn’t matter though.”
“What do you mean?” he was leaning closer now and you could smell his familiar scent; it made you want to curl up with him and let him swallow you whole.
“You said we weren’t anything so,” ugh. You wished you didn’t get so emotional over this, “it doesn’t matter what I think or want. I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
“I lied,” and it was oh so hard for him to admit that, “that day. I was just…mad - not at you. I just thought, when I saw you with all the new people, that you liked them and they were all over you, especially that one kid-”
“Max.”
“Max,” he didn’t like the taste of the name in his mouth, “I just figured you’d want someone like that and not me.”
“You’re a fool,” you shook your head in disbelief, “I’ve never wanted anyone but you.”
“I never…putting labels on things seems trivial,” he whispered, “how can what you mean to me be summed up with one word? I just never thought about it; it never meant you didn’t mean everything to me.”
"I…" you felt a prickling at the back of your eyes that caused you to try and blink it away, "do you mean that?"
"Yes," he reached over, hesitantly at first before settling his hand on your face  brushing your tears away with his thumb, "I mean it. You're very…important to me."
"You're important to me too," you put your hand on top of his and gave it a gentle, tender squeeze, "we don't have to put labels on anything. Just as long as we're on the same page about everything."
"You're mine," he promised and you felt yourself practically glowing. His words made you feel all warm and fuzzy, butterflies fluttering in your tummy. You nodded happily, "I know I'm not great with a lot of things but I do love you. I hope you know that."
"Hmm," you hummed as you closed your eyes contentedly, "I love you, even if you're a stubborn, tough man."
"Enough to accept my apology?" he had his answer already but needed to hear you say it. You rolled your eyes playfully.
"I suppose," you leaned in closer and smiled softly.
"Enough to let me kiss you?"
"Definitely."
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sluttywonwoo · 8 months
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instead of you [part twenty-six] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, angst, smut (mdni)
word count: 5.1k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi
additional smut warnings: oral (f receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms
The silence that followed your admission was excruciating. You wished you knew what Minho was thinking. He was impossible to read, aside from the evident anger written all over his face. His body language didn’t give much away either. He was closed off, arms folded across his chest, chin raised just slightly. 
“So who are you then?” he demanded, tone even despite being the exact opposite mere moments ago. 
“What?”
“Who are you? Are you just some girl that Jisung is using?”
“What the fuck, no!”
“Why are you acting like that’s some outrageous possibility? I just found out you’ve been lying to everyone all summer!”
“I’ve been Jisung’s best friend for like four years now, I’m all over his Instagram! Felix came to visit us and we all hung out, there are pictures of that too. I can’t believe you’d think I’m some random person!”
“You’ll have to forgive me for not thinking completely rationally right now!” he spat. “Why the hell would Jisung lie about- why would he say he had a girlfriend if he didn’t?”
“It’s a long story,” you mumbled with a sigh. “But we really don’t have time to get into that right now. I came up here because I was supposed to bring you back to the room.”
Minho made a face. “What, why?”
“Your cousins called.”
The shift in his demeanor was immediate. He visibly perked up, but only briefly, before seeming to remember the conversation he was having. “Jeongin and Yoon?”
“Yeah. Everyone else is on FaceTime with them right now. I told everyone I’d come to get you so that none of them would have to miss out on talking to him,” you explained. “So we should probably get going because I don’t know how long he has to chat.”
“Fine,” Minho surrendered easily, “but we’re not done talking about this.”
“Yeah, yeah I know,” you sighed again, still feeling nauseous. With everything that had already happened, you knew there was no way that this could end well. But now, now that one person knew it was all a lie, you were fucked. “Just… don’t tell anyone, please?”
He pursed his lips but nodded. “You sure have a lot of secrets to keep track of, don’t you?”
It was meant to sting, and it did, but you didn’t let him see the crack in the glass. 
“I could say the same for you.”
-
You slipped into your room as soon as you got back to the penthouse, not wanting to face any of the other Hans, especially not your best friend. You collapsed onto the bed with a muffled scream into your pillow. 
You expected yourself to start crying, but the tears didn’t come. They wouldn’t come. The initial panic had been replaced with numbness. Apathy personified, you could feel it spreading from your heart out through your veins, creating a tingling sensation that reached the very tips of your fingers. 
You had to tell Jisung, right? He’d understand… probably. You hadn’t told Minho. He figured it out on his own. Yeah, you should tell Jisung and then you could also come clean about… everything else. Maybe. But maybe you could also take it to your grave since it seemed like any possibility of you and Minho becoming an item, whatever that implied, was out of the question now. You knew he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore. Not after tonight. You couldn’t erase his look of betrayal from your mind no matter how hard you tried. 
Just how many people were you hurting by merely being on this trip? There was no way to know for sure, not that knowing would make you feel any less guilty. 
Maybe it was better not to tell Jisung. Maybe you could pretend like everything was fine, and then it would be. But that was what had gotten you in trouble in the first place. 
You hadn’t realized you had fallen asleep until you woke up with a jolt some hours later. The room was dark. The lamp had been switched off and the blinds were shut. Jisung was snoring softly beside you. He was tucked under the covers while you were still laying on top of them. 
You rolled over and felt for your phone, finding it underneath your pillow. You were surprised to see that you had missed a text from Minho. It was from an hour and a half ago and just said can you meet me in room 422? 
You weren’t sure if he would still be waiting there since it had been so long since he sent the message, but you responded with a tentative sure and quietly snuck out of your bedroom. You hoped Jisung wouldn’t wake up before you returned. Having to explain where you were or why you were there would only complicate things. You still hadn’t decided whether or not to tell him… anything. You needed more time to think things through. At least, that’s the excuse you told yourself. 
The fourth floor was eerily quiet, reminding you of how late it was. Stepping off the elevator into the hallway felt like a mistake, like you were trespassing on private property. Minho hadn’t replied to your text so you didn’t know if he was still awake, but you knocked at the door anyway. He answered after the second knock. 
“There you are,” he said and stepped aside to let you in. He seemed to have cooled down, which was a good sign, but there was still tension lingering between you. 
You slid by him, stopping in the entryway just past the door. The room he had summoned you to was just a plain hotel room. There was a queen-size bed in the middle of the room and a desk in the corner, but not much else. 
“You can sit wherever.”
You nodded in acknowledgment and perched yourself on the edge of the bed. Minho followed you but refrained from sitting, choosing to lean back against the dresser so that he could face you. 
“Why’d you want to meet me here?” you asked.
“I, uh, thought that talking in my room back at the apartment would look kind of weird if anyone saw us,” he explained awkwardly, “and the walls are thin too.”
“Alright, you have a point,” you admitted with a shaky exhale. “Whose room is this?”
“It’s mine. I went down to the lobby and booked it for the night.”
Oh to have a K-pop-sized disposable income.
“Oh, right. Should have thought of that.” You swallowed thickly, trying still to appear calm, cool, and collected. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”
You realized that Minho hadn’t mentioned wanting to talk in his text. You were just assuming. But given the events of the night, you felt that it was a pretty safe assumption to make. 
“I wanted to know why you and Jisung lied to everyone,” he took a brief pause before continuing, “and why I now have to lie to everyone too.”
You bit your tongue, stopping yourself before you could point out that he was already lying to everyone, and just nodded. 
“So the thing is, when he told your parents he had a girlfriend, he did have a girlfriend. They broke up, like, less than a week after he told them that and I guess he was too embarrassed to break the news because they were so excited for him and had already invited her on the trip. Jisung figured that maybe he’d have another girlfriend by the time he actually had to go on the trip, but when the end of the semester rolled around and he didn’t, I kind of filled the vacancy because he asked me to.”
“But why?” Minho pressed. “Why was it so important for him to be dating someone?”
“I don’t know, actually. He told me that it was to make your parents happy because they were always bugging him about his dating life, but I thought there might have been another reason that he just wasn’t telling me.”
Minho hummed thoughtfully. “Mom and dad are pretty nosy about our lives, but I don’t know why he would feel pressured to be in a relationship.”
“I think he felt like he had something to prove,” you said, choosing your words carefully. You knew how rocky Jisung’s relationship with his older brother was, at least from what he told you. You didn’t want to give Minho anything he could hold against him. “You’re not going to say anything to your parents or Felix, are you?”
“No,” he answered immediately and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “That’s his prerogative, I suppose. I don’t want to start anything between us- it’s not my place to say anything, really.”
“Thank you.”
He let his arms drop to his sides but didn’t move from where he was standing. “So, there’s really nothing going on between you and Jisung?”
“No, I swear.”
“Even after spending all this time together on the trip?”
“Nope, we spend all of our time together anyway.”
“So are you… friends with benefits?” he asked. 
“No. We’ve made out a few times, but it really just happens when we’re drunk. We never slept together.”
“But what about…” he trailed off, but you understood what he was talking about instantly.
“Oh, no! That was all fake. We just did that to sell it more, and sometimes to mess with you guys.”
“I knew there was no way he could be that good,” Minho whispered.  
You chuckled but came to your friend’s defense. “He seems to do pretty well for himself. Girls usually call him back after staying over so he must be doing something right.”
“I can’t believe it was fake,” Minho mumbled, mostly to himself. “Sorry, I’m still processing this.”
“Take your time.”
You leaned back on the palms of your hands, feeling a little more relaxed now that you knew he didn’t hate you. 
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked finally, letting the mask fall the tiniest bit. “After I kissed you the first time? Or when you kissed me back? This whole time I’ve felt like such an asshole for- for everything that happened.”
“I thought about it,” you admitted, “but Jisung and I agreed that it would stay between us. I’m sorry.”
“I get why you didn’t. I just wish it could have been different.” 
“Me too,” you agreed.
Minho crossed over to the bed and sat down next to you. 
“I’m sorry I went through your stuff.”
You threw your head back laughing. You hadn’t expected him to say that. “It’s fine. Honestly, it’s a relief not to have to keep up the act around you anymore.”
“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Minho raised an eyebrow and grinned, making you shy away from his gaze. 
You looked down at your lap. 
“Because it was exhausting! I don’t know how to act.” It was a half-truth, and you suspected that he knew it. 
“You had me fooled.”
You managed to look back up at him only to find him staring at your lips. This was not how you imagined this conversation going at all. 
“Maybe I should change career paths then,” you choked out. 
“Yeah, maybe.”
A few more beats of silence lapsed between you before Minho spoke again. 
“All of this time we could have been doing this,” he murmured gently. 
You scrunched your face up in confusion. “What’s ‘doing this’?”
 He leaned forward and bridged the gap between you by pressing his lips to yours to answer your question. His hand came up to your hair instinctively, muscle memory, and brushed it out of your face before cupping your jaw. You melted into him like you had done too many times before, letting him trace the curves of your face with his thumb like he was trying to memorize it. 
His palm was warm and you could feel the calluses on his hand against your cheek. You were the first to moan, any embarrassment long forgotten as you climbed onto his lap. 
Minho accommodated your weight easily, hands immediately coming down to grab your ass. He allowed you to push him down so that he was lying flat on the bed with you straddling his waist. 
Minho slipped his tongue into your mouth as the kiss intensified, teasing you with it. You whimpered when he pulled away, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. Minho just smirked and used the opportunity to flip you over so that he was on top. 
Then his lips were back on you, brushing against your jaw, your neck, your collarbone. As soon as you felt his teeth graze your skin you pushed his head back and gave him a look. It was his turn to pout. 
“You can’t leave marks, idiot.”
“Oh yeah, sorry,” he said apologetically, though the shit-eating grin on his face let you know that he didn’t mean it whatsoever. “Well, you can mark me up as much as you want.”
You rolled your eyes. “Lucky me.”
Minho ignored your comment and raised himself onto his hands, still hovering over you. He looked pretty, even in the dim, yellowy hotel room light. His lips were already a bit puffy, but he hadn’t even been kissing you for that long. You briefly wondered how they’d look after making out with your cunt, all swollen and glossy. You tried to squeeze your thighs together at the thought, legs closing around Minho’s hips instead. He seemed pleased at your eagerness and rewarded you with another kiss. 
“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked when he came up for air. You nodded. “Here, lift up a little.”
You did as he asked so that he could work the t-shirt over your head, laughing when he tossed it on the floor. 
“You weren’t wearing a bra?”
“I was about to go to sleep!”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “Likely story.”
“No, you’re right. I came here in my pajamas fully intending to seduce you.”
“Well, it worked.”
“Of course it did. Men are so easy.”
He shook his head, tongue poking his cheek. “You’re going to regret saying that.”
You cocked your head to the side, fully aware that Minho had the physical upper hand. “We’ll see.”
As soon as the words left your mouth Minho’s hands were on your boobs, effectively shutting you up. He circled a thumb around each of your nipples, smirking when you gasped and arched your back. 
“Barely even touching you and look how eager you are for me,” he mused. 
“T-take your shirt off too.” It was meant to be a command, but it sounded more like a plea. 
“What’s the magic word?”
“Fuck you.”
“Fine, since you asked so nicely.”
Minho reached behind his neck and yanked his t-shirt off, throwing it in the same general direction as he had thrown yours. You had seen Minho shirtless plenty of times before and you still couldn’t help but stare. His body looked like one of those statues you had seen in the Louvre, carved out of marble by one of the artists they named the Ninja Turtles after. 
You reached out to touch his chest, running your fingertips along his pale skin. 
“Can I take these off too?” Minho asked, playing with the hem of your sweats. He snapped the elastic band against your hip, making you flinch. 
“Yes, please get them off of me, it’s hot,” you whined.
You were left in just your underwear beneath him. You were usually pretty confident with sexual partners, but with Minho you felt exposed, vulnerable. You felt the urge to cover yourself, even though he was looking at you like you were a star amongst the cosmos. 
He repositioned himself lower in between your legs and before you could ask what he was doing, he pressed his tongue against your clothed cunt, licking a fat stripe between your folds.
You cried out in surprise, hips bucking into his face as a string of curses left your mouth. 
Minho raised his head, smiling sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been imagining what you taste like for weeks. I just had to know.”
“It felt good,” you assured him, silently begging him to continue. “Was it what you hoped it would be?”
“Better. Can I please keep going?”
“God, yes.”
He placed a hand on either one of your thighs to hold you down as he buried his head in between your legs again. He teased you with his tongue over your panties, finding your clit in an impressively short amount of time. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pushing his head against you. He groaned, his grip on your thighs tightening as you pulled his hair.
“Please, need more,” you whined. 
And Minho was all too willing to give you exactly that. Instead of taking the time to take your panties off, he just pulled them to the side so that he could have complete access to your pussy. He went back to work and you both moaned. His tongue was wet and warm and felt perfect on your clit. You frowned when he started moving lower, confused as to what he was doing until you felt his tongue working you open. No one had ever tongue-fucked you before and you thought you might cum from that alone. 
Minho paused again to catch his breath. “Fuck, I knew you were wet, but I didn’t expect you to be this wet,” he rasped out. 
“Sorry,” you hissed, cheeks warm with embarrassment.
“Who the fuck ever told you to apologize for being turned on?”
“N-no one.”
“Good, because it’s hot.”
You scoffed. 
“Lay back down,” Minho said, nodding at you to punctuate his point. 
You rolled your eyes at him but did as he said anyway. “You’re so bossy.”
“Do you want me to keep going or not?”
“Fine, fine. Sorry.”
“I fucking knew you were a brat,” he sneered. 
“What gave it away?” you asked sweetly. 
“Take a wild guess.”
You propped yourself up on your elbows again despite just being told to lie down. “And what are you going to do about it?”
Instead of answering, Minho hooked his arms under your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed, making you lose your balance and yelp in surprise. You watched his shoulder muscles flex as he used his strength to push your hips down, preventing you from squirming. The sight was enough to make you want to squeeze your thighs together, but of course, Minho was stopping you from doing just that. 
He pulled your panties off completely this time, apparently frustrated with the obstacle in his way. They joined the heap of clothes on the ground. You didn’t even need to look at them to know that they were ruined. 
His mouth was back on you before you could get another word in, causing any snarky remark you’d been about to make dissolve into a moan. It was a little sloppy at first. He had yet to fully regain his bearings, but dove in headfirst anyway. Kisses against the crux of your thigh, nips at your hip bones. Teasing and experimental. 
His touch didn’t have the practiced familiarity of a lover. Each movement was eager, exploratory. He was learning your body like he had all the time in the world, but you were growing impatient. 
Your hands flew to his hair again as he finally laved his tongue over your clit. You suppressed your moans this time, remembering what he had said about the neighbors. 
“Fuck, keep going,” you hissed, encouraging him to continue. “Please keep going.”
You could feel Minho smirking against your pussy, but you didn’t care. He could be as cocky as he wanted if he was going to make you feel this good. 
It didn’t take much to get you to the edge. It had been a while since you’d gotten laid, and you had been wanting Minho for God knows how long… you would usually be embarrassed, not want to give a man a bigger ego than he already had, but you had a feeling Minho was trying to get you to cum before fucking you and you wanted him inside of you as quickly as possible. If anything, you were doing him a favor. 
“C-close, Min. ‘M really close!”
You could barely make out the muffled “already?” that came from him between your legs, but you still rolled your eyes anyway, half-tempted to push his head away. 
He guided two of his fingers inside of you, giving you something to clench around as you came. The intention behind the action is what did it. He clearly cared about your pleasure which was rare to find in a partner, especially when said partner was a man. 
You came almost instantly, catching Minho off-guard as if “I’m close” hadn’t been warning enough. He must have taken it as an advanced notice rather than an immediate head’s up. He grunted in surprise as you bucked your hips up into his face, but recovered quickly, helping you ride out the orgasm until you relaxed back on the bed. 
He lifted his head finally, grinning like he’d just won the lottery, and sucked your arousal off of his fingers, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand shortly afterward.
“Good?” he asked. 
“Really good,” you managed to choke out. 
“You okay?”
“Yeah, take your pants off.”
Minho chuckled. “Should’ve known you’d only want me for my body.”
You pursed your lips but didn’t bother responding. You both knew that wasn’t true. Otherwise, why would you be risking everything just to fuck him? 
Minho pushed himself off of the bed and shimmied out of his pants. As good as he looked in the gray sweats, you knew he would look even better with them off. And you were right. Even though he was still wearing his briefs, you could see the outline of his dick much more prominently. It made your mouth water and you sat up and shifted onto your knees to return the favor he had just given you. 
Minho saw you reaching out for him but shook his head. 
“I need to feel you,” he said, voice strained. “If that’s okay. I already almost came in my pants just from eating you out, I won’t last.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Not many men would admit to that.”
“Not many men would admit to getting off on making their partner feel good? You’re right.” 
You watched as he picked his pants up off the floor and pulled a condom out of one of the pockets. 
“Oh now you have a condom?” you teased.
“Look, I usually have them on me, I just didn’t that night,” he exclaimed in defense, the thin foil packet between his teeth. He ripped it open and pulled the rubber out, only pausing when you spoke again. 
“You don’t keep them in your wallet, do you?”
“I do, but I change them out pretty often. Is that okay?” 
“That’s fine.”
With that settled, he slipped out of his underwear and rolled the condom on with ease. He joined you on the bed a moment later. You laid back and waited for Minho to position himself. 
“Wait-” you whispered suddenly, having been so in the moment that you had almost forgotten. “Are you clean?”
Minho let out a sigh of relief, probably having thought something was wrong. “Yeah, I got tested like two months ago.” 
“But the other night with that girl-”
“I didn’t sleep with her.”
“Oh. Why?”
“I mean, I fully intended to, if I’m being honest. But I just… couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t get it up?” 
“Something like that,” he sighed. “I probably should’ve asked this before going down on you, but you’re clean too, right?”
You nodded. “I get tested all the time and I haven’t had sex in a while.”
“That makes two of us.” 
You looked at him expectantly. “You may… continue.”
“I’m surprised that didn’t immediately make my dick soft.”
“Oh, give me a break. My brain is still fuzzy from cumming.”
He snorted. “You’re welcome.”
“I can’t believe that didn’t immediately make me dry up.”
“I’m allowed to be cocky!” he protested. “I made you cum in, what, a minute flat?”
“It took longer than a minute!”
“I don’t know about that. I think we should check the replay.”
“You’re such a dork.”
Minho rolled his eyes. “And that must really turn you on. ‘Cause last time I checked you were dripping onto the sheets.”
“I-” you had nothing. You squeezed your thighs around Minho’s waist, trying to coax him inside of you. “Just stick it in already!”
“Since you asked so nicely,” he repeated.
You held onto his arms as he pushed himself in, sighing in relief at the fullness. He wasn’t the biggest you’d ever had, but he was still sizable. You had to take a second to adjust to the stretch before he could start to move. He fit perfectly, at least that’s what it felt like. You were positive he could tell how much you liked his cock from the way you unconsciously clenched around him, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care. If his ego inflated to the size of the moon after this, fuck it.
“Fuck, st-stop doing that,” Minho stuttered, pressing one of his hands against your hip to try and keep you still. 
“I’m not doing anything!”
“You’re, God, you’re squeezing me so tight,” he hissed. “If you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum.”
“Oh sorry, I didn’t even realize.”
You took a deep breath and willed your body to relax. It had been so long since you’d been properly fucked and you didn’t want it to be over before it even started. 
“Are you good to keep going?” Minho asked once he’d regained some semblance of composure. 
“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Yeah, fuck please move.”
He leaned down to kiss you as he began to rock his hips into yours and you met him halfway. You could still taste yourself on his tongue, on his lips. He groaned into your mouth and nipped at your bottom lip when you pulled away. 
“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he confessed, voice raspy. 
Baby was new. And it made you whimper in response. 
“So goddamn tight. It’s like your pussy was made for me.”
Did he say this to every girl he fucked? Because it sounded like a line, but it was working like a charm on you. 
As if he realized he was rambling, he busied his mouth in other ways. He kissed your neck, careful not to leave marks, before moving down to the valley of your breasts where he continued his work. The way he lowered himself onto you pushed his cock in even deeper, something you didn’t think was possible. 
His lips were warm. They were so warm. Each kiss felt like you were touching the sun. You could feel the heat against your skin even as he moved away, pressing kisses elsewhere. 
“What’s got you smiling like that?” Minho asked. 
You hadn’t even realized that you had been smiling, or that he had stopped kissing you. He was going faster now too. You hadn’t noticed that either. You were far too gone, clearly.
“Feels good,” was as much as you could manage, but that seemed to satisfy Minho. 
“Yeah? Have I fucked you dumb already?” he cooed condescendingly. 
You nodded. “Feels sooo good. Feel so full.”
You’d be embarrassed by your barely-comprehensible sentences, but you didn’t have the capacity to feel anything other than pleasure in that moment. You doubted you’d even remember what you said in the morning. 
“You close again, baby?”
“Uh huh.”
“Fuck, me too. I’ll get you there, though. I’ll make you feel even better.”
He brought one of his hands down to your clit and used his thumb to rub somewhat uncoordinated circles on it. He was gentler than he had been before, like he knew you were still sensitive from cumming the first time. The added stimulation brought you back to the edge in record time and all you could do to alert Minho of what was happening was frantically grab his bicep and squeeze it repeatedly.
“Gonna cum? Go ahead, baby.”
Your entire body tensed as your second orgasm of the night washed over you. Minho fucked you through it again, announcing that he was cumming right as you started to come down. Watching his face scrunch up in pleasure as he came was almost enough to send you into a third orgasm. His eyes shut and his mouth fell open into an O shape as his hips faltered. He didn’t stop thrusting until he was certain he’d given you every last drop of his cum, choking out a string of curses followed by your name through gritted teeth. 
He collapsed on top of you seconds later, completely spent and still inside of you. 
“Fuck, that was good,” he panted. You nodded in agreement, wincing when you felt him pull out. “You okay?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think I can walk. My legs feel like jelly.”
“Would another orgasm help?”
“No,” you groaned. “I can’t take another one.”
“I was kidding. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and back to your room.”
“Nooo, I’m tired,” you whined. 
“I know, I know,” he said softly, “but you can’t sleep here. Unless you want Jisung to find out?”
“Fine,” you mumbled. Your eyes were closed, but you could hear him moving around the hotel room. “Just give me like five minutes to nap.”
“You know I can’t do that.” When you opened your eyes he was wearing pants again and standing beside the bed waiting for you. “You need to shower. And pee. A UTI in the middle of vacation would really suck.”
“I’ve had worse.”
“You’re impossible.”
“You knew that before sleeping with me.”
“Yeah, and I still did it anyway. Now, get up.”
“You’re so bossy,” you muttered under your breath, repeating the sentiment you had already voiced. Minho just chuckled and helped you to your feet.
“You seemed to like that earlier.”
“Yeah, when you were making me cum.”
“Well, I won’t be able to make you cum anymore if you contract an infection. So I have to be bossy or else you won’t listen.” 
“Or else you won’t listen,” you mocked. 
Minho grinned despite himself and shook his head at you. “We should’ve started doing this way sooner.”
hope y'all liked this one :) lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
iou tags: @gimmeurtmi @phobia0325 @fwess @hipsdofangirl @galaxleeknow @urmomma0324 @bangmechanpls @102598s @farfromsugafanfic @ritzy-roo @dimpledsatan @bvselines @wonderfulshinee @imwithurmother @smollquokka @rosexjimin @skizzel @endzii23 @lady-lena @kwanisms @ch4nniebang @lilramennoodle @babyphotos0325 @dearalice @sojohns @mistlitmoonlight @yoontaethings @babebatter @mal-lunar-28 @shy-kisu @zerefdragn33l @downbadreading @sana-within-you @saquso @bunnispaces @reianagarcia @hyunehans @imtooyoungforthisshit @i8rsie @honeslykindahorny @214racha @hgema @chillllllli @vixensss @smhlino @feiyaa @borahae-reads @bigbearenergy @hoodiesandicedcoffee @darkacademic2512 @y00nzin0 @i8yul @shinypieceofgarbage @woozarts @just-a-little-delulu @djeniryuu @hbzzzbork000 @mimzibee @sofiaslayed @kangyounghyunhands @lexxxxs-things @baejinswrld @gaysontheprince @emogril @ngengngeng
add yourself to my taglist here!
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daycourtofficial · 1 month
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Hi! So I love your blog and have read practically all of the main 10 Acotar fan fiction blogs on Tumblr and was wondering if you had any recommendations for authors that you think are underrated or don't have as big of a following/like counts on their posts that you think are worth reading?
Also another question sorry: I've never rly considered reblogging works because I have no followers and my account is totally private but I read today that authors prefer to see people reblog than like their works. I was just wondering if the was true because if so, I'll start doing it, I just always thought it was pointless if my blog is so unused.
Hi! This took me like a week to answer because I was compiling a list of other authors. Let me give some love to some authors that I love and adore and would give little forehead smooches to. I’m really not sure about notes/quantity of notes because I don’t really notice a trend in note count for others, but I’ll highlight some authors I love and have devoured all of their fics, some authors I’ve read only a handful of fics, and some authors that are pretty new that I’m excited to see more of. This is basically a masterlist of some of the authors I follow 😅
Also if anyone has any other authors they’d like to hype up, feel free to drop their @ in the replies.
Anyway roll credits:
@shadowdaddies @imaginesmai @serpentandlily @prythianpages @danikamariewrites @readychilledwine @thehighladywrites @thelov3lybookworm @nocasdatsgay @tsunami-of-tears @tadpolesonalgae @parkerslatte @assriels @utterlyotterlyx @utterlyazriel @imagineaworld @b00kdiary @writeroutoftime @callmeblaire @heartless-tate @sarawritestories @sapphicmsmarvel @throneofsapphics @throneofsmut @milswrites @grandlinedreams @arrantsnowdrop @littlestw01f @starsxblazing @eve175 @itsswritten @aboggoblin @stormhearty @acourtofladydeath @illyrianbitch @illyrian-dreamer @loneliestluvr @solbaby7 @b0xerdancer-writes @azrielsdove @assassinsblade @azrielslightintheshadows @lalacliffthorne @bubbles-for-all-of-us @fieldofdaisiies @historiaxvanserra @fairydustblossom @readychilledwine @secret-third-thing @acourtofwhatthefuck
There are so so so many writers who are phenomenal that I’m sure I’m forgetting. Also I had tagged a bunch of people and it got lost so I had to try to remember who all it was so I’m sorry 😞
As for your other question, it’s very writer to writer dependent. Personally I try to reblog a lot of writing because I have a following and want to promote other writers, but it doesn’t bother me when people don’t reblog my fics. To me, support is support, whether that’s comments or likes or reblogs. I would assume though if you have a blank blog, the reblog won’t really matter to most.
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highvern · 4 months
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Track 1: All of the Girls You Loved Before - Taylor Swift
“All of the girls you loved before, Made you the one I've fallen for // Every dead-end street, Led you straight to me”
Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem!Reader
Genre: fluff
Warnings: established relationship, past jealousy
Length: ~500
Note: First part of the Mixtape Series! Wooooo! Very fun to write and looking forward to everyone's reactions to the other parts of the series. Stay tuned!
Like, comment, reblog, enjoy!
Mixtape Series: Me & You Masterlist
main masterlist
This blog is intended for 18+ only! MDNI or you'll be blocked!
“I’m fine, Cheol.”
Seungcheol taking you out to celebrate your promotion quickly devolved into an awkward dance around the elephant in the room.
One of his exes sat across the room, dining with a man around her age. You recognized her from pictures before you and Seungcheol started dating, when you were barely even friends and neither of you knew how perfect you were for one another.
“Are you sure?”  Seungcheol asks for the nth time, guilt trickling across his face. 
“Of course I’m sure.” You confirm, squeezing his hand wrapped in yours across the table.
Seungcheol heaves a heavy sigh. The last thing he ever wanted was for you to think he would care about someone else. You knew it wholeheartedly. Seungcheol didn’t see anyone beyond you since your first date years ago.
The number of women he’d dated or hooked up with in some capacity had been a tough pill to swallow at the beginning of your relationship. A run in with one of them years ago was the catalyst for the first fight of your budding relationship, leaving you both in limbo at what to do. You hated feeling jealous and insecure because of it but Seungcheol assured you there were no lingering feelings; and he backed his words up with actions that proved he was sincere.
Eventually, you were something close to thankful for your boyfriend’s past partners. Thankful they taught Seungcheol to navigate love; the good, the bad, and the ugly. For helping him mature into the man sat in front of you. Seungcheol, who from day one let you know where you stood, who didn't leave you questioning his intentions, and enthusiastically pursued you in a way you had never experienced before. The one who doesn't take you for granted and still manages to sweep you off your feet after years together. The man who argues with you, not against you when you disagree; constantly reminding you that you're a team and you'll figure it out.
Seungcheol, who lets you baby him as much as you want because his past relationships didn't give him the space to rely on his partner. Who shares his fears and doubts even if it makes him feel vulnerable, knowing you're there for him through everything and he no longer needs to shoulder his burdens alone.
All of the events of his past led you both here. Engaged, happier than you've ever been, with a man who couldn't been more perfect for you.
“If you want to leave we can. I’ll find somewher–” 
“Baby, if I got upset every time we ran into someone you dated, we’d never leave the house.” You joke.
“I didn’t date that many girls!” Seungcheol pouts in a way that’s more than ridiculous for a man his age.
“It doesn’t matter. Wanna know why?”
“Why?”
Leaning forward, you wait until Seungcheol comes close enough to whisper, “Because they led you to me. And I’m the only one you want, right?”
“Of course.” Seungcheol whispers back.
“So when I say I don’t care, I really don’t.”
-
Taglist: @tomodachiii
© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.
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hellishjoel · 3 months
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when you know, you know (mini chapter)
3.2k / pairing: linecook!frankie x waitress f!reader Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Main Masterlist | Notifications Blog | Ko-Fi
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summary: A flashback shows Tommy’s crew enjoying Christmas Eve at the diner. Frankie makes his first move with a New Year’s kiss. 
warnings/information: MA 18+ (minors DNI), half-ass editing because I’m exhausted (I’ll reread it tomorrow and fix any errors I catch, food and alcohol consumption, reader is has no physical description, swearing, smoking, pet names (princess, asshole ((yes it’s a pet name to me))), christmas/holiday themes, a first kiss is shared that starts this whole journey.
A/N: look at these stinkin cute dividers I made for Table for Two! like shut up! I hope this mini chapter holds you guys over for a little as I also give my focus to cherry thrill and delicate with the beautiful and talented @thetriumphantpanda! also thank you to @undercoverpena for helping me dial down my brain and helping me focus on writing what I really want to write first 💛
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Tommy’s Diner. One year ago. The recollection of events is slightly impaired due to alcohol consumption.
The last time it snowed on Christmas Eve in Texas was 2012. It wasn’t a normal, pretty, White Christmas. It was snow. And sleet. And pea-sized balls of hail. The winter storm began in Breckenridge, near Denver. It grew and spiraled, traveling southeast to Northern Texas. 
By the time the storm saw Austin, it barely affected the city in terms of transportation. Just beautiful little white flakes, all of them unique, not one like the other. And it was dazzling. 
Now, ten years later, in a mythically euphoric way, they land on the pavement in front of your sneakers. A snowflake lands on the toe of your shoe, melting quickly into the material. You let out an appreciative hum and bundle yourself tighter in your jacket, letting the size swallow you. 
The diner bustles inside. It’s busy, very busy. You thought people would like to be at home on Christmas Eve, celebrating with their families before the holiday rounded out in the following twenty-four hours. But some people have traditions here. 
Older couples who met here on a first date still make their anniversary appearances. There’s this older couple you see like clockwork every year, Maude and Gil. 
Gil said he met Maude by accident. Took off from the lumber mill in a hurry to grab a late lunch. Maude was there on a date with another man. 
But Gil said it was love at first sight, watching her push her straw around the milkshake glass and trying to seem moderately entertained by her date. Gil thought they were a total match the instant he laid eyes on her. 
But Maude didn’t think the same. Not at the time, anyway. 
Gil said it was fine because he knew. He just knew. Even if Maude thought their timing wasn’t right at the moment, he’d try again when it was right. 
Maude said she found it endearing; how he’d chase, beg, concede, anything he had to do to get her to at least go out with him. He was persistent. And it paid off. 
Now, all these years later, with kids and grandkids, they were celebrating a date night before they travel to their daughter’s house for Christmas tomorrow. 
After penning in their order, you can’t help but smile at the couple. 
“You two are really cute.” A sweet grin is shared between the two patrons before they turn back to you. 
“When you know,” Gil pauses to take Maude’s hands across the table, wrinkles forming around old gold wedding bands, “you know.” 
You usually don’t get along well with older people. Sometimes you didn’t know how to talk to them. You didn’t understand the references they made and felt awkward trying to navigate back to the menu selections. That, or sometimes they were just plain rude, but you suppose anyone at any age can be fucking rude. 
In this part of Texas, some folks felt all too comfortable pushing religion or politics into your lap. And when they weren’t doing that, they were complaining about things that were out of your control. 
That light is giving me a headache. 
You don’t have any trees to park my car under. 
The mashed potatoes aren’t mashed enough. Like, sorry guys, but that sounds like a problem between you, the line cooks, and your denture implementation specialist. 
Then there were the more generous guests, those who tip well and sit in your section because they like your playful personality. Where talking doesn’t feel like a chore, and you’re so goddamn funny that they laugh at everything you say. 
There’s this ongoing joke between you and these older gentlemen who come every Sunday morning for breakfast. It goes something like,
“Hey, doll, did you put the whiskey in the coffee like I asked ya to?”
You’d playfully gasp, widen your eyes, and look at them with your mouth agape before you lightly smacked their shoulders with your ticket pad. “I certainly did not, my manager would have a fit.” You’d tease, wink, and pour a little extra coffee to top them off as they snickered. They were just guys young at heart who enjoyed making you laugh. 
Frankie would play cards with them on his break. Spin the chair around and have the back against the table, thick thighs straddling the seat as he nibbled on a toothpick. He always lost to them at poker but won at blackjack. 
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Unfortunately, someone really did put some sort of schnapps in the coffee. The staff’s coffee. You weren’t going to name names, but you definitely saw who did it. And you weren’t telling. Especially since you were enjoying your third cup. 
Christmas music plays loudly in the back of the kitchen, the restaurant having been closed for the past hour. But for the love of God, Rudy couldn’t get you all to clean up the place and go home. 
“Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock! Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring! Snowin' and blowin' up bushels of fun, now the jingle hop has begun!” The entire kitchen sings, all terribly off-tune, but it makes it all the funnier. 
You double over in laughter as Carla, your five-foot-tall manager attempts to put a Santa hat on Frankie’s head. He simply crosses his arms and shakes his head, unwilling to bend down and let her put the stupid thing on already. 
Finally, with a roll of his eyes, he kneels down and takes the red Santa hat like a crown to a king. 
“You’re only fueling his ego!” You boo, Carla walking over and cheering her cup of coffee with yours. 
The kitchen is noisy after hours. 
All the crew has funneled to the back, sitting on countertops as Lou mops the floor and tells people to stay out of his way. Water sprays from multiple sink faucets as the dishwashers clean at a leisurely pace, too busy singing a rendition of whatever Christmas song played next off the radio. 
The old dishwasher hums along as it cleans. People talk or sing over each other, and it’s just loud. You’d be overstimulated if it wasn’t for the spiked coffee in your hand. 
“You put this booze in here, didn’t you?” You whisper to Carla as she circles back to your little corner of the counter, looking straight ahead as if she didn’t hear you. She’s as silent as a rock, which you can respect. 
“Alright, some manager you are.” 
She snickers at that, playfully slaps your thigh with the back of her hand, and watches the line cooks and busboys lazily scrub pots, pans, and plates, too busy howling out what they think are the correct lyrics to the classic Mariah Carey song playing. 
“Frankie!” Carla growls, her actual manager tone coming out now. Even Rudy shudders at the lion’s roar. 
Frankie looks up, wide-eyed like a kid about to get freshly yelled at. He’s got a cigarette hanging from his lips and a lighter one centimeter away, finger on the trigger ready to light it. 
“Go outside and smoke that, you know I can’t come home smelling like cigarette smoke! My kids will get mad at me. Shoo! Shoo!” She ushers with her hands, Frankie smirking against the cig and holding his hands up in playful defense. 
“Sorry Mama Bear, I’ll take it outside.” 
Carla playfully scoffs as he ducks down to kiss her cheek, giving him a roll of her eyes in return. 
Frankie’s eyes meet yours and he nudges his thumb into the pack of cigarettes, one inching out towards you. 
“Come on, princess. Let’s go.” 
You purse your lips to try and stop the smile, but you can’t help it. You push yourself off the counter and join him outside, the kitchen door closing behind you with a whoosh. 
It’s colder outside now, and the snowflakes fall faster but still melt as soon as they hit the pavement. 
You walk with Frankie to the loading dock. Tommy’s doesn’t have an actual loading dock, but it has an attached storage garage that houses old equipment. The concrete has questionable stains of varying colors and sizes. A game you and Frankie play is coming up with dramatic stories for each one. 
The large maroon puddle was definitely a murder covered up by a secret crime syndicate. The dark green dribbles every few inches are from a lizard-like monster, trailing its way through the garage where its buried itself under the concrete until it’s resurrection day in one thousand years. Or so they say. 
Frankie pulls a blue tarp off an old brown leather couch, both of you falling into it with a heavy sigh. 
Tonight was exhausting. The holidays in general were. 
“You goin’ anywhere for Christmas?” Frankie asks as you hold out your hand for the cigarette, but he lifts it to your lips instead. 
A playful smirk dances on your lips as you lean in and take the cigarette obediently, both of Frankie’s hands coming up as one flicks the lighter and the other shields the snowy breeze. 
The nicotine swirls down your throat and chills your chest, a nice contrast between the warmth the alcohol has spread through your tummy. Your eyes magnetize to the pretty orange blaze glittering at the end of the cigarette. 
“Yeah,” you breathe out, smoke billowing through the air and then into nothingness. “I took off from Christmas to New Year’s, so I’ll be at home with family. You?” 
Frankie makes a noncommittal noise, distracted by lighting his cigarette. He flicks the spark wheel multiple times, but the flame only grows smaller and smaller. To Frankie’s relief, it catches. He takes the dead lighter, damn near out of juice, and makes a long chuck to the dumpsters where it clatters deep inside. Dink-bong. 
“I’ll be here- wait, until New Year’s?” Frankie asks in disappointment, head tilting affectionately like a dog’s. 
You’re a bit shocked by the dramatic reaction, eyes scanning over him.  
“Uh.. yeah. Why?” 
He’s silent for a bit, eyes avoiding yours before he looks out beyond the freeway and into the void. You shrug it off and lift the cigarette to your lips again. If Frankie wants to say something, he will. 
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” You nod your head towards the snow and Frankie agrees as he looks up at the sky with a fond little smile. 
“So, no New Year’s at Tommy’s for you this year, huh?” He circles back, and you’re all too curious. 
“Why do you care so much if I’m here on New Year’s or not?” Your demeanor is playful, but he’s dancing around the subject and you’d wish he’d just come out and say it. 
But he wanes on your temper and plays oblivious. “Was that Maude and Gil out there earlier?” 
You roll your eyes and shuffle closer to him on the couch. Frankie does the same. “Yeah. I wish they came here more than just on Christmas Eve. They’re so refreshing. They’re older, but cool.”
Frankie nods and lets the calm settle between you both. 
“Before Tommy retired and moved to Florida... Or ran and hid from his bookie due to his crippling gambling addiction, he said that he was long-time friends with Maude and Gil. They’ve been coming here for like… fifty years.” 
You scoff in disbelief and glance over to him. “Who would want to come to this dump for fifty years?” 
Frankie shrugs and smiles, leaning into your side as you lay your head on his shoulder. He’s warm. 
“I guess it’s all about perspective. We see Tommy’s as clock in, clock out. Run around until our feet hurt and work until we’re sweating pigs. The customers, people like Maude and Gil, they see this place as where their lives began.” Frankie’s eyes look beautifully starstruck in this moment. “Where they started, and where they reminisce. Where it all began. It’s perspective, princess.”
And just like that, he crashes the moment. Again. 
With a roll of your eyes, you sit up properly, shoulders shuddering inward from the cold. You shove off his hand that has somehow gone below the radar on your thigh, crossing your leg over the other and tugging down the skirt of your uniform.
“You gotta stop fucking calling me that incessant nickname, asshole” 
Frankie scoffs around the exhale of his cigarette. “Why don’t you make me?” 
“Oh, I could definitely make you, but where’s the fun in that, Francisco?” You smirk in his direction, but something shifts. 
His lips part but he’s at a loss for words, and his eyes dance over your face like he’s trying to memorize each pretty eyelash and the slope of your cheekbones. 
A weird feeling of charged energy zigzags back and forth between your bodies, stitching you closer together. Where the flirting goes a little too far and something could happen. It could keep going, like a snowball effect, both of you unwilling to stand down to the other. How far could things go? How far would you let them go?  
His eyes look incredibly deep brown in the night, but they pour into you all the same. The red bandana tied around his forehead keeps his unruly dark curls out of his eyes as the wind makes the strands flutter. He’s overwhelmingly handsome. You can feel your breath change, but you don’t want him to notice how your chest falls shallow under his eyeline. 
His husky voice breaks the pretty silence. 
“If you’re not here for New Year’s, then how are you supposed to be my New Year’s kiss?” 
An unbeatable smile breaks out across your face, feeling your stomach summersault. Oh, Frankie. 
You playfully shrug as you look beyond the loading dock at the snow that amounts to nothing, still melting upon greeting the asphalt. 
“Well. Sounds to me like you’re kissing the back of your hand on New Year’s. Just the same as last year. And the year before that. And the year before that.” 
“I’d rather kiss your ass, princess.” 
“Oh, I bet you would.” You both snicker and shake your heads. He’s still staring all too longingly. 
“Come on.” He speaks softer now. His head tilts so it’s closer to your level. “Lemme kiss you.” His head is hanging to the side, and he speaks with need. His tongue lines his lips and your breath staggers again. 
Your and Frankie’s cigarettes burn with abandonment, dangling between fingers settled in your respective laps. 
Why can’t a fire break out in the kitchen right now? It would be convenient. Anything to get Frankie from getting too close. Not that you wouldn’t mind kissing him, you just fear that you’d like it a little too much. And he would like it too. What if things changed?
All you can think to do is try to lighten the mood with a little teasing because it feels all too serious right now. 
“You don’t wanna kiss me.” 
Frankie scoffs and suckles on his cigarette again like it’s the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard. “I would, I really would.” 
Fuck, it’s not working. “What if it’s weird? We work together.”
“It won’t be.” 
“How do you know?” You tease. 
“I just know.”
“Okay, but how do you know.” Frankie shrugs nonchalantly like it’s no big deal. “When you know, you know.” 
Surprise lines around your wide eyes, recognizing the all too familiar sentiment shared by Maude and Gil. The sentence you didn’t realize had so much importance to you until Frankie uttered the same words. 
“I- what did you say?” You ask, surely he didn’t just share the same expression. Or spare the same meaning. 
A cocky smirk tilts the right side of his mouth upwards. “When you know, you know.” He repeats unphased, eyes twinkling all too sweetly as he looks at you like you’re a wonder. 
It’s just one kiss. Nothing else will happen. You wouldn’t let it. 
Before you can overthink any further, before you can decline, his large palm casts itself over your cheek, thumb skimming across the silky flesh. Warmth floods your body, and it feels like time has frozen. The snow falls silently around you both, a soft whisper of the wind hissing through the air. 
“This alright?” He whispers. You feel so caught off guard, unable to respond with words, just a lousy excuse of a nod. 
The heel of his palm guides your jawline upward, lips mutually parting as you take each other in. Anticipation fills the air, fuels the rapid beat slamming around in your chest and nudging itself up in your throat. 
Your lips meet, warm and plush. You’re sure he’s not this gentle all the time, but he is in this moment. It’s tender and delicate, slowly taking you all in as if this is the last time he’ll ever get this chance. It probably will be. The bite of each other’s cigarettes tangle in your mouths. 
It’s unclear who deepens the kiss first, but there’s more of a desperation to this part. Both of his palms are on your cheeks now, bodies inching closer as your smaller palms fist lightly at the neck of his dingy white tee. You’re keeping him close, fuck, it’s so undeniable. 
The intensity that follows highlights a level of emotion you had far long ago locked away. Shoved into a locked crate and stored in secret under your bed. You didn’t like those feelings, they were cute looking from afar, but up close, they were monstrous. But you can’t deny you enjoy the movement of his lips against yours, both of you melting into a sweet rhythm that’s lined with desire. 
His tongue explores your mouth. Your fingers dance up the dip of his neck and sink into the warm flesh. He must like the feeling of your skin on his because he lets out a low hum of appreciation. The charged energy you felt before was now flooded, running on all cylinders to keep up with the feelings you and Frankie were exploring for the first time. 
It’s heated and flickers like his dead lighter. The bond grows deeper at this newfound connection, much different than a simple peck on the lips for a New Year’s kiss. 
It feels like it lasts forever but it’s gone so soon. You find yourself pulling away first, despite it taking all of you to do so. Frankie’s head naturally follows your own, wanting more, drunk off the taste. His lips brush yours again as you laugh. 
Both of you grin before you can stop yourselves. 
“Shit,” he mutters, pulling away finally as warmth kisses the apples of his cheeks. His thumb lines his lower lip like he wants to remember the electricity and the pattern of your kiss. “Sorry.” 
“No, it’s- fine.” You’re all flustered, both of you shifting farther away on the couch. 
“I got carried away,” 
“Yeah. You did.” Lie. 
“I liked it.”
“I know you did, Francisco.” The tight-lipped grin on your lips won’t disappear. But you could. 
Everything that follows is muddled sentences and interjections on both your parts. You start. 
“I’m gonna head back inside. Carla probably needs some help-”
“Yeah-”
“Are you-”
“Yeah, I’ll stay out here for a few more.” 
“Okay.”
“Okay.” 
You’re both nodding and you’re scrabbling for balance as your feet pace on shaky ground. You nudge your jacket tighter around your body as you drop the cigarette and smother it with the toe of your shoe. 
A shaky breath leaves you as you walk away and smooth out your uniform, thankful to have your back to him as you walk off and return to the kitchen’s back door. Or else he might see you smiling sheepishly. 
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Series Masterlist l Previous Chapter | Main Masterlist | Notifications Blog | Ko-Fi
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maximumkillshot · 6 months
Text
"I Can't Lose You" Part 3
Warnings: This one is bad... Like bad bad. Uhm so please pay attention to these warnings. *Brings out a scroll with a solemn face.* Descriptions of Blood, Emergency medical procedure explainations, Shock, Grief, Chan gets shoved once, (IF YOU WANT NO SPOILERS AND KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE THE FIC CONTINUE) Child Loss, Descriptions of miscarriage.
Pairing: Bangchan x Reader
Characters: OC Doctor, Stray Kids, Reader
A/N: I know the cut is very high up but I needed to be sure that it wouldn't trigger someone would get triggered by the story. I am so sorry I am doing this to y'all. But here we are. Enjoy getting your heart ripped out? I guess. IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!
Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.
Stray Kids! Masterlist
Overall Masterlist
ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 
ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.
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Previously:
You looked at Bin and Han and begged them to stay. Both of them looked at the doctor and said that whatever was happening, they weren't leaving. The doctor could see that you really needed them and as long as they were not in the way, it didn’t matter whether they were here or not. 
After the nerve block and the procedure, the doctor cleaned you up and draped a warm blanket over you, while the nurses hooked up a transfusion and closely monitored you. The doctor asked for Bin in the hall while Han went right back to your hand without the IV in it, so he could hold it properly.
Bin tried to ignore it during the procedure but the look that the doctor had on his face when he was doing the preliminary exam was haunting. Whatever he was called out here for… it wasn’t good.
NOW:
Once both Bin and the Doctor were in the hall and closed the sliding door separating you from the bustling main hallway, Bin got that feeling again. That sick feeling that something was wrong. The doctor looked like he was trying to stay professional. 
It was then that Bin noticed the doctor's wedding ring. He wondered to himself if the doctor was like Bin. So deep in love that seeing anyone else doesn’t just feel blasphemous, but it’s so out of the question it’s nauseating. The doctor began.
“Are you her husband?” He asked.
“No…” Bin replied. He could feel the bile rising in his throat with that one question. He immediately thought, If I was this never would’ve happened.
“Are you family?” The doctor looked at him.
“Yes. Are they okay?” Bin looked at the doctor.
“She lost a lot of blood, through something called a hemorrhage. It’s a rare complication especially this early on. She wouldn’t have made it if this happened at home. But it’s under control now.” the doctor said. He seemed to be trying to be as sympathetic as possible, making the next question sting more.
“Okay, and the baby?” Bin asked as he was trying to hold on to the possibility, some shred of hope that you and the baby were okay. He didn’t want the answer to be…
“I’m sorry.” The doctor slowly shook his head as he bowed his head slightly. The doctor looked guilty, like this was the worst part of his job, not being able to save someone. 
“How? Why?” Bin asked as it felt like his heart twisted. He didn’t know how you were going to get through this. He knew you too well. He knew that the pain you were about to feel, the emotional pain, would spell your demise... Bin couldn’t wouldn’t let that happen. 
“There is a cause-and-effect relationship that stress, extreme traumatic stress, like what you described, can cause a mis--” “Please don’t finish that word.” Bin pleaded with tears in his eyes. That word. He’s never hated a word in his life, until now. A word like that, even the word Death is kinder. To die you need to have lived in the first place, breathe air, feel emotions, like happiness, fear, love… None of those things happened for your child, through no fault of their mother. The same woman he’s staring at, the very same woman he always stared at. 
“The fact that she went through the shock as well as the prolonged stress after that shock, and didn’t have any previous symptoms of that happening prior to that, rules out all of the other options.” he paused and looked at his ring. Bin could tell what he was thinking, the doctor’s jaw tight, I could never dream of doing that, then continued, “You know her better than I do. Will she need something to calm her down?”
“Yes… but I don’t think she’ll accept it.” Bin looked back at you and Han. You looked so out of it. Like you were and were not there simultaneously. He has never seen you like this. From what he could see it looked like Han was doing his best to distract you. He was playing with your fingers as he joked. 
It was convincing enough to relax you, but Bin knew better. His eyes are always so expressive, if he's genuinely relaxed, his eyes show it. Bin could tell that Han was many things at this point in time, and worry free was not one of them. 
“Would you like to tell her?” the doctor asked. That question made Bin think a little bit. If he did tell you, he didn't know if you'd believe him. It's easier to ignore reality when the person breaking the news isn't a doctor. You'd accept it if it came from the doctor. 
“She’ll believe it if you say it… Just have the medicine on standby. Also, what do we do to help her? What’s next?” He asked.
“Well like I said her bleeding was extensive... I want to keep her for at least a full 24 hours, in case the bleeding starts again. I’ll also arrange for her to meet with the OBGYN during that time as well, to make sure we got all of the tissue out, that way there’s no chance of another hemorrhage or infection. Sounds like a plan?” The doctor asked.
“Yes… thank you." Bin took a deep breath before he went in, the doctor trailing behind him. 
The doctor closed the sliding door as Bin looked at you, then at Han briefly. He lowered the guardrail and made eye contact with Han, who mirrored his actions shortly after. 
“Mrs. Y/L/N” the doctor began but you cut him off. 
“My baby. Please tell me my baby’s okay… please,” the urgency written on your face. 
Han's eyes were set on Changbin. The minute you asked that question, Bin lowered his head, jaw tight, and tears were already beginning to form. When Bin looked at Han, he already knew. 
The doctor looked at you and said “I...I’m so sorry.” 
Your face showed nothing but confusion… you had just gotten the first ultrasound. You had it done a week ago. No, you saw your baby.
“Y/N” Bin asked gently. He saw the look on your face, and it killed him. Seeing your brain reach for any other outcome other than the one right in your face. He tucked some stray strands of hair behind your ear as he watched and waited for the understanding to reach your face, it didn’t.
“No, it can’t be, I just got the ultrasound done. No,” you replied.
Han and Bin looked at each other. Han's eyebrows dipped, as he processed and tried to brace for impact. Bin on the other hand, was willing himself to take a step back, knowing that you needed to hear this. It had to get through, that's the only way you could start healing. 
The doctor looked solemn as he said, “Mrs. Y/L/N I could tell that you were and still are contracting. The reason why your body is doing it, from what I can discern, is because your body went through extreme stress and emotional trauma, when that happens this early, your body rejects the pregnancy. That does not mean that this is your fault, it's the opposite. It’s completely out of your control.”
Bin could see the cogs turning in your brain as you slowly started shaking your head. Reality starting to seep in. Bin wished that you didn't have to go through this. That you got the fairytale ending without the heartbreak. That you didn't have to face the death of your own child. That pain, anguish, and suffering. 
The doctor continued, “There is an even rarer condition in which the body rejecting the pregnancy ends in a condition called a hemorrhage. It’s a technical term for excessive bleeding, in this case, it happened because your body is trying to expel the tissues in your cervix. Because it was so sudden, your cervix didn’t have time to open. When I examined you, you weren’t even at half a centimeter dilation, and all of that tissue was trying to be expelled. That was why I had to do that procedure, to get the tissue out so bleeding could be minimized. I’m so sorry… but you had a miscarriage.”
Once that word was said the scream that you let out was something that Han nor Bin have ever heard in their lives. It was soul-crushing. Both of them could hear your heart breaking, shattered on the ground. Bin and Han wanted nothing more than to pick up those pieces and fix it. They knew that they couldn't, this is a hurt they can't fix.
Han held you as you screamed, begged, pleaded… You looked at Bin. “Bin please, look at me. Please tell me it's not true… Please you don’t lie to me, I know you'll tell the truth pleeease.”
Bin looked at you, “I can’t tell you it’s not true. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The look of devastation on his face only sealed the fact. Bin has never lied to you so why would he start now? Especially with something as serious as whether or not you had a miscarriage. 
The look that painted his face, brows upturned as his eye contact was nothing short of empathetic. You could tell he wanted to lie. 
He wanted it to be false, that it was just some freak minor bleeding… that the baby was okay…he wanted it so badly… but you can't want something into existence. 
That realization hit you in a split second as the monitors that were connected to you, measuring vitals, started going off. You could feel nothing but pain. The involuntary gnawing, pulling pain. The blood, the cold from lack of blood in your body…The physical agony was nothing compared to what you felt in that split second. 
Your heart rate was literally too fast for you to register, pain surging through you as comprehension slammed into you like a tsunami. The baby is gone. Your baby. Your heart rate was through the roof and the doctor went to your IV.
“Y/N I’m going to give you something to calm you down okay? Your heart can’t take this stress, it’ll give out.” The doctor pushed the medication. 
“I want my baby…Bin I want my baby… Han please, my baby.” You sobbed as you held on to Han. 
All Bin could do was say, “I know you do, I’m so sorry. I’m here. I’m sorry.”
Han got on the gurney with you and cradled you. He cried with you. Prayed that it was just a nightmare. Han looked to Bin, only to find him trying to fight the tears that were falling down his face. Bin's soul was hurting for you, bargaining with whatever powers out there, to give himself up for you and your child. He knew it was irrational but if he could've, he would've. 
As soon as the medicine kicked in your breathing started to slow. You still whimpered and cringed as you felt your body bearing down, still shaking slightly and cold to the touch. Han draped his jacket over you, resting you against his chest, singing to you, to calm you. 
Every once in a while reality would crash into you again, you’d reach for Bin. You knew why you did, he was always there. He always understood you on a deeper level. Sometimes he knew what you needed when you didn’t even know you needed it. 
Eventually he pulled up a chair and laid his head on his forearm, hand in yours and close to his lips. as he gently rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb. As soon as you’d squeeze that hand he’d squeeze back as he nuzzled into your hand. His way of letting you know that yes, this is the reality, but he is still here. Wordlessly, endlessly, he’d be here. Sometimes you’d comb your fingers through his hair, the feeling somewhat comforting.  
You were so tired it went down to your bones. Sometimes only mustering a long blink at the pain. Eventually your vitals started looking good enough to transport.
The doctor came in with solemn reverence, like he was intruding on a funeral.“Y/N, we’re going to keep you overnight at the least, you’re going to have a visit from the OBGYN in the morning, okay? We have your bed ready so soon someone’s going to come to transport you.”
You just looked up at the doctor and nodded, “T-thank you” you hiccupped, “Hannie and Binnie are staying with me.”
“I’ve already put a cot in the room for them. I wish I could’ve done more,” he said with a sad smile. Bin got up and shook his hand, thanking him.
As soon as the transport nurses came to get you Bin said “I’ll see you in a bit. I just need to do something really quick.” you nodded and Bin kissed your forehead. He had to go back to the house. He didn’t know why immediately, just that he had to. 
He was on autopilot the entire ride to the house, except for the red lights.  He didn’t need to be strong at those lights. He’d scream where no one could hear him. Letting the pain out as images of you flashed. Smiling, then flashing to the scream you let out. Laughing, then sobbing in that hospital gurney. Cooking with him, to crying on Han. 
His screams were from mourning, pain, and frustration. He mourned the baby and you. The pain for you, the pain of realizing all of the things that you won’t experience. The frustration of not being able to see it before. To protect you, guard you. He wanted to rip something… someone… apart. There. That was the impulse that drove him back to the house.
At the last red light, he breathed deep, not even wanting to. He used whatever force that was left over as he screamed one last time. Everything he did, your child would never experience. Every scream echoed, redoubling the anguish he had for the both of you. Culminating into this, silence as he turned the corner to the house.
To his surprise, all of the other member’s cars were still at the house when he pulled up. When he parked, he looked at the clock on his dashboard, it was 2 a.m. Had it been 6 hours already? 
He felt his adrenaline kick up as he opened the door. He found everyone still wide awake, waiting for answers, but one look at Bin and they gathered what they needed.
Chan walked into the room from the kitchen and his jaw dropped upon seeing him.
“Bin…what happened?” Felix asked gently, hand’s slightly raised, as if approaching a wild animal. The aura on Bin wasn’t his aloof, goofy, self, it was the opposite; dark, threatening, dangerous. Bin’s eyes were trained on Chan, the closer he got, the more Bin felt his resolve slipping… Chan looked at him up and down, concern and horror written on his face. It was only then that Bin noticed he was covered in your blood.
His resolved snapped at that realization, upper lip ticking into a repressed snarl as he breathed “I’m… going to kill you.” He made a B-line to Chan. Felix, Minho, and Jeongin had to hold him back. 
Once Bin realized he couldn’t get to Chan, he screamed, “Was it worth it?! HUH?!!” His veins were popping out under his skin as he struggled to get free, “Was it?! Tell me! You hurt and nearly killed the only person I’ve ever loved. She’s dead inside now, all thanks to you!” More flashes accompanied that sentence, him picking you up and watching you go limp, eyes fluttering.
Felix looked at Bin and said, “What?... Hyung..” Felix's voice trailed off, trying to process what he heard. Felix knew that if he heard Bin correctly…he couldn’t even complete that thought.
Bin’s eyes snapped to Felix and he relaxed to the point where all three let go.
“The doctor said that because of the severe stress and emotional trauma she endured her body rejected the pregnancy.” He bum-rushed Chan and slammed him against the wall, while everyone was either in shock or processing. Felix was the first and only one to try to get Bin off Chan. Changbin was just too strong for the younger man, he ignored Felix as he tried wordlessly to pry Bin away from Chan. 
Bin continued staring into Chan's eyes, “The miscarriage was so sudden, in fact, that she hemorrhaged and almost bled to death because her cervix couldn’t open on its own in time. They had to scrape the tissue out just to stop it from killing her! And she looked at me to see if it was really true because I don’t LIE to her. Then they had to sedate her because her heart was going to give out when she realized that it was true.”
At this point Bin tightened his grip on Chan, “You are lucky that she asked for me to stay with her… If not I would kill you, right here. You are going to stay AWAY until or even IF she ever wants to see you again. I mean it Chan, if you come near her, I will end you. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.” With that, he dropped Chan and went to the washroom. He washed off as much blood as he could and went to his room to change into spare clothes. He wanted to destroy everything in his room. His keepsakes, his picture frames of the boys all together. There was only one picture frame that he did smash to dust before he left his room… the one of himself and Chan, on Chan’s wedding day. He picked up his bloody clothes, stalked back out to Chan, and threw the clothing at him. 
He was shaking with rage as he said, “To YOU… this could’ve been a game or a thrill, fucking with her heart. But THAT!” he pointed to the clothing, “that is the reality. A child is dead, your child and it almost killed Y/N too. Next time you want to contact her, look at what you did to both of them while you do it.”
Before Chan could say anything Bin was slamming the door shut behind him with such force that the wall itself vibrated. Right as he made it to his car Felix ran to him. “Can I go with you?” he asked.
“I’m not leaving the hospital for the whole night, you know that, right?” 
Felix nodded and got into the passenger seat. The whole ride over Felix couldn’t help but to stare at Bin. He has never seen him like this. So enraged that he was three seconds away from crushing Chris’ windpipe. 
He also noted how Bin didn’t seem to know that he was covered in blood until Chris looked at him. Even now he could see Bin’s grip on the steering wheel was so strong his knuckles were white. He didn’t know exactly what happened in those four hours they weren’t given updates, and Felix knows just by seeing Bin, he never wants to find out. 
As soon as Bin entered your hospital room he heard you say “Binnie?”
Honestly, he could melt every time you call him that.
“I’m back…” he chuckled slightly… “And I brought some sunshine with me…”
The minute he looked into your eyes, you smiled just a little. That was progress. He kissed your forehead as Felix looked you over. 
Felix is like your little brother, so the minute you saw him and he saw you, you both started crying. Han got off the bed knowing Lix would want to be with you for a bit, for both of your sakes. 
This gave Han and Bin time to talk out in the hall.
“How’re her contractions?” Bin asked.
“They’re slower but still strong. The doctor says that it’ll be strong for at least 5 to 10 hours.” Han reported.
“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy. 
“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this. 
“I know”
“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.
“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little over 8 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality. 
“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.
“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”
“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.
“Yeah?”
“It should’ve been you with her. From the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade. 
“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”
Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room. 
********************************************************************
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sjw-publishings · 7 days
Text
Hey Everyone,
I don’t tend to write these kinds of posts on my tumblr page, however I feel this is necessary.
In the event you are not aware, Dumb and Jocked, the main person I do collabs with, and also who is someone who most people might consider to be one of the backbones of the Tumblr TF community, has deactivated his account and left us last week.
Most of the people and I do not know exactly why or how this happened, but it's the reality of the situation unless he somehow does return in the future.
Some tumblrs might still have some of his stories reblogged, including mine, however some of which cannot be accessed as they are stuck at the ‘read more’ page. Notably his longer stories ‘Branded’ and both parts of the major collaboration we did together in ‘Narrow residences’.
If anyone has any of these stories saved somewhere, it would be great if you could either link it to me or post it on Tumblr.
Below will be my farewell to him, in the event he ever does somehow read it. This probably is not the best farewell letter, but it's the best I could do in such short notice and also posting it publicly. —————————————————————
Hey Dumb and Jocked,
Thanks for reading this, and I'm sad to see you go.
We’ve worked on various collabs together and it was fun throughout the years discussing various ideas here and there with you.
Unfortunately, after you left, it just feels really upsetting looking at the stuff you wrote. Even those that were saved from reblogs and reposts from other blogs. While I do want to keep them for memories and also because I did collaborate on some of them, it just feels much sadder trying to indulge in your stories or continue in sequels of it.
I was shocked that you would leave us out of the blue, however a part of me anticipated this.
I'm mostly speculating, but this is a hobby that can be rather controversial and you contributed a massive ton, likely without any compensation. You were quite private in general and talked about stories and bounced off my ideas now and then.
You sort of have a clean gateway if you decide to ever leave for good, as you probably are not really close to anyone here other than writing TF stories.
Some of us hoped that you might return, and speculated maybe it's tumblr accidentally banning you and you would get your account back, but as the days went by, it only reaffirmed that my anticipation was likely correct.
I myself mostly continued on tumblr for you, and I'm not sure if I would continue now that the main reason and person I stuck around for has left without letting any of us know. It is something I will have to decide for myself in the future.
If you ever do return to Tumblr or decide to message me privately to talk about things, that would be great. I do hope you return, even if you don’t write stories that frequently or even at all, so we could talk for a bit.
However I know that I won’t wait forever.
That’s all I will write in this letter. It was fun writing and discussing TF stories with you while it lasted.
-Sjw Publishings
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boydepartment · 8 months
Text
jake is the type of guy…
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a/n: tbh……. i wrote this right after i posted the jay one. i am a HUGE jake stan if anyone reading this is new to my blog. i love my main man very much‼️
MASTERLIST
warnings- none just fluff
wc- 250-300
other members part-
jungwon heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo ni-ki
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song- classic by mkto
jake is the type of guy who…
🦮runs away from you when he first sees you. if he sees an attractive person- he is sprinting away. jake would rather die than embarrass himself in front of you.
🦮 finds out through one of his coworkers that you thought he was cute. instantly, he is sprinting around seeking you out. when he does of course he gets shy again, he didn’t think approaching you through.
🦮 tries his best to act confident around you, but you can see through the facade. not that you minded, him being dorky added to you already liking him.
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🦮 slowly starts to become more comfortable with making conversation with you. he was good at talking, not just calming his nerves around you. but jake gave it time and he eventually built up real confidence around you.
🦮 accidentally lets it slip that he wants to go out with you… like really bad… jake didn’t even know how he slipped up. but it happened! next thing he knew, he was going out on a date with you. and it went really well :)
🦮 even before dating he’d want you to put on the medicine for his sores on his mouth. the other members were stunned that him acting like that didn’t give you the ick or anything. you honestly were just happy to help.
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🦮 treats you with respect everyday. jake never wants you to feel like you’re below him in any way, because you’re not. the relationship is 50/50, he never wants you to feel like you don’t have a say in something. the only time where it isn’t split equally, is if one of you is taking care of the other due to one of you being sick, or just having an off day.
🦮 absolutely loves when he can debate with you. jake loves that you both don’t have the same opinions on everything, he loves being able to discuss things on a variety of topics. he loves when you get passionate about the subject, jake loves seeing when you have a glint of spark in your eyes.
🦮 sometimes forgets things. if you change your coffee order abruptly, he will still sometimes order the old one. just give it 3-5 business days for his brain to catch up a bit breaking from routine.
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💕🦮 jake is the type of guy who loves when you are your own person. he loves being able to hype you up with whatever you’re doing and he absolutely loves to show you off and talk about you.
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olderthannetfic · 2 months
Note
Most of my dash is people moving to cohost or mastodon or bluesky over the photomatt thing and posting goodbyes. I don’t know if *tumblr* is dying, but the specific community I love here appears to be leaving. This isn’t my first time seeing a social media community crumble, but I feel particularly adrift rn, especially with the collapse of the NaNoWriMo forums, which were my main social platform for years and years.
Any advice as to how I can find a new social platform that fits me? Ideally it would be a space that supports longform text and back-and-forths in the comments.
--
The key thing to realize is that lots of platforms we loved in the past had absolutely garbage features—at least at the point when we set up camp there. Both LJ and Tumblr had features that were absolute ass and then somewhat improved before tanking again in various ways. The next hot platform will also suck, just like the last 10.
If you want longform text and discussion, start by posting longform text and responding to anything even remotely response-worthy that anyone sends you.
Granted, twitter clones directly prevent longform text, but a lot of the time, the main sticking point is culture. Everyone told me that Tumblr wasn't good for longform text, that it violates social norms to post it without a readmore, etc. Years of How To Tumblr posts discouraged this behavior. Tumblr haters pining for LJ still constantly tell me that discussion is impossible here due to the lack of threaded comments...
To that, I say it's only impossible for cowards who aren't willing to fill people's dashboards with 37 of the same post and all its chatty reblogs on the same day.
Cowards, I tell you!
Who says I can't post 90% text-only and a million long-ass posts to the gifset-and-no-commentary website?
--
The actual features are only marginally important. Social conventions like linking to the ask you're referencing or snipping irrelevant stuff from the prior e-mail chain can take care of most feature issues.
The important part is either following a community or making the community come to you. Being consistently active is a huge part of it. If you're publicly findable and friendly, people will come hang out where you are or invite you places. It can take a while to get visible enough, but it does work. It's a matter of having the energy and time to invest.
Another key is to recognize that a lot of people feel adrift. If your blog/forum/discord server is the logical place for them to collect, they will do so. They have to know it exists and they have to find it welcoming, but that's all it really takes to collect up people who are feeling lonely and unmoored.
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