#and an increase in people starting from bad faith

[excitedrainbow]

so so excited for Burrow’s End and so so frustrated with the biggest parasocial fans telling anyone who was discussing what other TTRPG systems could be used that they should never question the expert GMs, please just leave us to our (loving!) conversations!

there are always going to be dickheads who talk shit and rudely tag in the people/performers they’re referring to, but most of the time any fan critique or discussion I see of D20 comes out of being big fans of both the show and TTRPGs, is super respectful, and no one is tagging in anyone involved with the show. yeah some of us get tired of how often DnD is used in the recent games, because it isn’t always the best system for the story and there LOADS of other TTRPGs that would be cool to use!

for this season, most of the discussion went DnD???? Again???? > wait it looks like there’s a bunch of combat and monsters > probably not suited for Wanderhome/other suggested TTRPGs > what other animal TTRPGs could work > Aabria is an incredible GM and she’s worked with other systems before so her choice of DnD for this story is interesting, let’s see how this works out for the story > oooh this is what Aabria has said about using DnD, ok cool, can’t wait to be emotionally hurt im so tired of seeing a loud minority of people increasingly butting in on respectful conversations to say “they like DnD! they play however they want to! they’re the performers why do you question their choices?” Or “omg how dare you have the audacity to question them” or other bullshit like that. if all you want to do is never have conversations about TTRPGs or cast/GM choices etc. and never want to hear any respectful critique or discussion then I think your fandom experience is going to be poorer, but that’s your choice. you don’t have to start shit with other people just because you can’t stand that they’re lovingly but thoroughly discussing/critiquing this form of media and not putting the cast on pedestals. parasocial attachments to vaguely famous people aren’t new things but god they are getting worse and making the experience of fandom more awful

#there is also a marked decrease in media literacy #and an increase in people starting from bad faith #the number of times I’ve seen people go WELL FROM YOUR TONE IT READ LIKE #and there’s literally no text anywhere that supports their interpretation #also people are allowed to be a little frustrated before a show airs #most of them will watch it! most of them will adjust their opinions! #WOTC are a very flawed corporation and DnD 5e is a big monopoly in TTRPGs!!!!!!! #there are so many other cool TTRPGs it would be cool to see them used for the right stories!!!!! #aabria literally said this in the tags of a post on tumblr #and most of us read those tags and went OK INTERESTING #and we love her as a GM #like open ur mind to a richer fandom experience and to the FUN of other TTRPGs #and don’t put people on pedestals #Dimension 20 #TTRPGs #god sorry just had to vent I hate the increasing number of fans going YOU CANT CRITIQUE THESE PEOPLE HOW DARE YOU #ALSO I love DnD despite its origins and history it’s so fun #I also LOVE other TTRPGs! #anyway curate yr fandom experience I end up blocking most of these people especially on twt #you wanna block me go right ahead we will all be happy

[lingeriae]

Birthday Sex by Jeremih ft onyankopon

synopsis - it's onyankopon, your ex's birthday, what happens when you 'accidentally' get dragged to is birth

warnings - cussing, smuttttt, use of the n-word, somewhat toxic relationship, mention of substance abuse and alcohol, possessive ony!, mention of anxiety, fights

pairings - Onyankopon x black! fem reader

you knew in your whole black being that something about sasha suddenly wanting to go out was a bad idea. how could you be so gullible? the signs of her intentions were crystal-fucking-clear but you ignored them because you had faith in the girl,

maybe you weren't gullible to her plan, and the thought of even seeing him was alluring; seeing if anything had changed since you both seperated. seeing if he moved on.

'mmm, God forbid.'

but as you stepped through the doors of connie springers house a sinking feeling immediately made it's way to your stomach, and you wanted to run out of the building to the comfort of your home where you could stalk your ex in peace.

the scene is familiar to you, although you don't usually like parties you have been dragged to a few by people you were close to, by him. And as you continued to scan your surroundings, searching for him out of habit you almost felt disappointed but relieved that you hadn't.

your heart suddenly races as you start to think about him. what he would be wearing, what he would be doing, who he would be doing. trying to stay level headed as you remind yourself that isn't why you're here, and that shouldn't matter because he isn't yours anymore.

sasha suddenly broke your train of thought by speaking up.

"you okay?" she asks, leaning closer to you and raising her voice while her eyes scanned your face for emotion. you arched an eyebrow at her while folding your lips causing her to grin at you.

"oh, don't give me that look!" she giggles throwing her arms around you as she drags you further into the sea of sweaty bodies, "you'll be fine, it's not like you could bump into him with so much people around."

"mhm, sure." you said sarcastically kissing your teeth when she pinched you. she suddenly stopped, removing her arm from around you and scanned the crowd. "im gonna go look for connie, you coming?"

"nah, i'll pass. where there's connie, there's ony." sasha only rolled her eyes in response before disappearing into the sea of people. you leaned against a wall with a sigh watching the room that only grew louder, and scrunching up your nose as the stench of weed and alcohol increased, the feeling of wanting to hide in your own skin increases too and you try not to let it consume you. the scene was getting too overwhelming for you, and anxiety your simmers beneath your skin. all of it immediately stopping as you made eye-contact with him.

'oh shit.' you thought, not only because of how good he looked under the dim and flashing light, but because he was walking towards you and you were too frozen from the shock of seeing him to walk (run) away. as he came closer to you, began thinking off what you would say to him and what he would say to you, and even the possibility of getting back tog-

"hey." that one word had your face heating up, maybe because it interupted your delusional and sick thoughts or because of how long you haven't heard the richness of his voice. you rubbed your glossed lips together, slightly tilting your head as you looked at him.

"hi, happy birthday." you replied looking away from his face when noticing how intence the eye-contact was getting, suddenly feeling self conscious of how his eyes roamed every part of you crossed your arms over your chest. the male infront of you licked his lips at the action, it causing your titties to push up even more than they alrready were.

onyankopon hummed, a smile pulling at his lips as he noticed how flustered you were getting from the little attention he was giving you. "thank you, mama. you look pretty," suddenly feeling shy at his compliement, you bit your lips to hide the smile that you knew would come

"s' dress is mad short though." he brought his hand to the end of your dress that stopped midthigh, tugging on it a little and letting his hand linger there all while maintaining eye-contact with you. his actions caused tingles to flow throughout your body and it felt as if the skin he was touching caught fire. as you replied to his comment, you immediately felt heat rising to your face at your choice of words, cussing yourself out for not thinking before you talked which ony always scolded you about.

"easy acess." you bit your tongue as the words left your lips, ony's eyebrows raised his tongue pushing against his cheek , looking at you with low red rimmed eyes that slowly went up and down your body. ony suddenly leans in towards you, not stopping until his face is inches away from yours, you slowly inhale smelling the mixture of weed and the cologne he had. his sliver nose stud twinkled under the lights, along with diamond earring he had in.

'he smells so good.' you thought watching as ony's eyes dragged from your lips to your eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy because of how good he smelt and how close he was to you. the hand he had on your thigh now trailing up whilst his other hand rests against the wall beside your head, trapping you. his lips parted and you felt as if your legs would give under you as his breath brushed against your lips and because of his next words.

"you givin my pussy away to these lames, mama?" you glance up at him through your eye-lashes, sucking your teeth as if his words had no effect on you. parting your lips to respond, you're suddenly interupted by a high-pitched voice. "omg, hi daddy!" a thick light-skinned girl ran up to ony, hugging him from behind. you glanced at her noticing she had in a blonde lace that looked freshly done, a pink mini-skirt with a matching top to match it and pink boots with fur. the sinking feeling that appeared in your stomach from before came back again as you looked between them.

"happy birthday!" she said, smiling up at him, her smiley twinkling at the movement. her eyes suddenly drifted towards you, scanning you with what you could describ as disgust and jealousy before she turned back to ony who had straightened up and turned to look at her. "who's this?"

pushing yourself off the wall, you cleared your throat before speaking up. "nobody, happy birthday, hope you enjoy." you walked away before he could respond, puffing out your cheeks as you felt your eyes begin to water bringing your hands to pat at the spot under your eyes and try your best to keep your composure. you walk around until you find sasha who was perched on connie's lap passing a blunt to said man who gave you a dimpled smile.

"hi y/n, your outfit is eating!" you snort at connie's words and the dramatic side-eye sasha gave him, "don't ever say some shit like that again bro."

you sat down across from them beside a blonde with glasses and a beard, looking at him from the corner of your eyes as he inhaled the blunt before offering it you, muttering a small thanks before taking it from him and taking a hit. feeling his eyes still on you, even after giving you the blunt you turn with an arched eyebrow, "what?"

he chuckled, shaking his head. "damn. I can't look at you?" you rolled your eyes at his responce, not intreseted in giving him your attention. "you're just pretty s'all." your eyes turn back to meet his and watch the way they roamed your figure, you hummed at his words deciding to check him out too.

from just looking at him you could tell that he worked out, and he was good-looking too, maybe a bit older than you were but still good-looking.

'ony better tho.'

"thank you..."

"zeke." he gave you his name with a toothy grin, a hand coming up to rub at his beard. you returned his smile with on of your own before responding, not noticing that a certain male had walked up to the area, eyeing the man beside you with a clenched jaw. "thank you, zeke."

"ony! happy birthday!" you nearly got whiplash to how quick you turned your head, making eye-contact with ony as he hugged sasha and mumbled a thanks. he never took his eyes off you as he sat beside them. his cheeks sucked in as he inhaled and his eyes never leaving you once as he exhaled the smoke. "you never gave me your name, pretty girl."

turning back to zeke, you suddenly feel speechless as you still feel ony's eyes on you. "It's Y/n." you respond with a smile, a hot feeling flowing throughout your body at the sudden attention your ex was giving you. zeke licked his lips, a smirk on his lips. "pretty, like you."

you eyes drag back to ony, making eye-contact with him again before you look away clearing your throat. "that's corny." zeke chuckles, it sounds sexy and his adam apples bops along with action. he's sexy, but somehow you can't find yourself to indulge in him as you turn to look back at ony who is still looking at you. he's manspreading and his hands rest on his stomach, his eyes are low and intense as they pierce into you not backing down even from being caught multiple times, you can feel your heart speeding up as you continue to look at him. you can't help the heat that spread through you and the way that you push your thighs together, imagining building up the courage to walk up to him and sit on his lap, his hands on your waist as he grinds you-

the sudden feeling of a cold liquid on your skin causes you to gasp and stand up, your dress sticks unto your skin as the liquid drips flows down your body. looking up you see the same girl from before, a pout on her lips as she looks at you with an empty cup in her hand. "what the fuck?!"

"oops, I guess my hand musta slip or something." your eye twitched as you look at her, your hands moving on your own as you searched for something, only to find your phone lifting it and slamming it across her face. a loud smack along with the bitches scream and an "oh my god!" filled room, an arm wrapping around your waist as you moved to punch the girl.

"got me fucked up!" you yelled as you struggled against the person who was holding you back, trying to get another hit on the girl. she started crying as she moved her hands from her face to see the blood from her now broken nose, you watched as ony walked up to her and the way she threw herself at him. "that bitch is crazy! she broke my fuckin nose!" she sobbed clutching unto his jacket, ony looked at you with wide and concened eyes causing you to scoff.

"let go of me bro." you said, pushing the person away only to realize it was zeke. he looked at you with drawn eye-brows parting his lips to speak, stopping once you raised your fingers at him to stop. pulling on your dress you turned to connie, "where's your bathroom?"

once he told you where it was, you gave sasha a reasuring smile before walking off, ignoring the eyes on you as you walked up the stairs, ass shaking with each step you took.

you cussed as you rubbed the top of your dress with a rag, trying not to cry as your hands began to ache because of hard you were rubbing it and how overwhelmed you felt, a sudden knock on the door causing you to sniff,

"someone's in here!" there was silence before the door was pushed open, your lips parting at the person who walked through. ony locked the door before leaning on it, his arms folded across his chest as he watched you kiss your teeth while scrubbing the front of your dress with aggression. "you shoulda locked the door, coulda been anyone bussing in like that."

"thanks, i'll lock it behind you when you get out." you smiled at him sarcastically through the mirror, your breath hitching as he moved closer to you. you looked away from him focusing on your dress and ignoring the warmth you felt as he stood behind you, feeling his chest against your back as he moved around you to grap your wrists pausing your movements.

"look at me." he whispered in your eyes, a quiet gasp coming from you as he placed one of his hands on your waist causing you to arch your ass into him. biting your lips, you shook your head stubbornly at his request.

"aint you supposed to be with that bitch?" you snapped quietly, being mindful to not raise your voice at him. you felt him sigh against you, bringing his hand up to grip your chin, turning you to face him.

"she got what she deserved, im just concerned about you right now." rolling your eyes at his words, you moved your face out of his grip his jaw clenching out of fustration.

"boy, bye. im not bout to do this with you-" you tried to side-step him, only to let out a squeal as he pulled you back towards him, his hands on the small of your back while the other gripped the counter. he narrowed his eyes at you with a lick of his lips, "don't do that, you know better."

a shiver ran through your body at his tone, looking away from him feeling small under his glare. his touch felt warm, almost making you forget how wet your clothes were. he was so close, and if he took another step further you're not sure if you could resist him.

rubbing your lips together, you found the courage in you to meet his glare with one of your own, pursuing your lips together. "you're acting as if she wasn't all up on you, stop being 'concerned' about me and go be concerned about your bitch, bro." his eyebrows drew together while his lips turned down.

"first of all, I dunno who you think your talking to, but im not your fuckin bro, second of all she's not my 'bitch'. Ian been with anybody since you, so for you to say that is crazy." you hated yourself for feeling so relieved, looking down at your dress as you pushed your lips up not knowing what to say. "aint fuck nobody either." he whispered, the way you shifted on your feet not going unnoticed by him. it was silent for a moment, the muffled sound of music from downstairs being the only thing that didn't make it extremely quiet.

"y/n, look at me." he said it so softly, as if he didn't want to scare you. you slowly lifted your head, biting your lip as you looked at him, a shaky breath leaving your lips as he brought his hands to rub across you cheek before bringing it towards his face, his lips meeting yours pausing for a second to see if you would hesitate before diving in. humming you tipped on your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he wrappped his around your waist backing you up into the counter. you moaned as he kissed you hard, shoving his tongue into your mouth and bringing his hand down to your ass to squeezing. pulling away you looked up at him, your lips burning along with your cheeks, and your body buzzing with excitement. placing your palms against his pecs, you pushed him weakly with a shake of your head, his body not budging even a little at the force. "o-ony we can't-"

"why?" he wasn't even looking at you, but at your lips, licking his own before meeting your eyes. biting your lip, you rubbed small circles into his pecs. "you're high-"

"never stopped me before." he said, smirking at the slap you gave to his chest, trying to lean down to kiss you again only to be stopped by your hands pushing him away again, rolling his eyes ony looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"that's different. we aint together, ony, we can't do this-"

"why you tryna keep me away from my pussy?" he grabbed your hands, pulling them off of his chest and above your head looking down at you with a stern look, one that had your knees buckling and glad that he was holding you up. you stared up at him speechless, not protesting as he kissed you again before moving to suck on your neck. a whine fell from your lips as he sucked a specific spot, feeling his full lips pull into a grin at your reaction, he continued sucking at the spot feeling himself getting turned on by the sounds you made. "ou, y-you gon leave a mark!" you said making no effort to stop him as he continued his assualt on your neck, pulling back to look at the bruise forming with a proud grin.

"good."

suddenly he lifted you up, placing you on the counter and kneeling down. your thighs closed on instinct, suddenly becomin shy as you looked down at the man who looked back up at you with a confused expression. "you sure about this? I don't want you to regret-"

"spread your legs, mama." he interupted you, looking in between your legs with a concentrated face. "but-"

"aint gon ask again." at the tone of his voice you slowly began to spread your legs, feeling how ony gripped your thighs as he spread them wider. "talkin bout regret. you lost your mind?"

you shake your head no, your chest rising and falling with speed as he used his fingers to push your panties to the side, a hiss leaving his lips at how wet you already were. he brought his finger against your front, running his finger on it. "this for me mama?" pursuing your lips, you tilted your head to the side shaking your head.

"for my new man-ah!" ony flicked your clit, not allowing you to finish your sentence as he looked at you with dark, hooded eyes before he pushed against your hips so your pussy was right infront of his face, bringing his mouth towards it and licking from your hole to your clit. a shiver ran down your spine as your nipples hardened, already feeling like you were going to burst from the simple motion. you gripped his head as he sucked on your clit harshly, a broken moan leaving your lips because of how good he was making you feel. he thrusted his tongue in and out of your pussy, blowing against your clit and bringing his fingers to rub against it. he slid his fingers in and out of you while using his thumb to rub against your clit, the feeling of his fingers hitting tat spongey spot inside of you had you shaking, feeling your release come closer and closer. "cmon, mama. give it to me. can feel her squeezing me so I know she close."

your back arched off of the counter as you felt your vision becoming blurry, not noticing that you were crying. your grip on ony's head tightens as he continued to finger and tongue fuck you "taste so good, mama, can't believe you took this away from me." ony muttered as pulling away for a moment looking at your reactions as you came closer and closer to you release.

"fuck, ony!"

he licked his lips at your moan, palming himself through his sweats as he looks up at you. "m' makin you feel good mama, tell me m makin you feel good."

"m-makin me feel so g-good ony!" he did a scissoring motion with his fingers, holding your thighs as you tried closing them nearing your release. a whine left you as you came on his fingers, your legs shaking because of how hard you came. you breathed deeply, resting on your elbows to look down at ony who was licking off his fingers, your nose scrunching up "you're so nasty."

ony got up, smiling as he looked down at you while licking his lips. "only for you mama."

"mhm" you responded, rolling your eyes moaning as ony grabbed you by throat pulling you towards him, "'mhm' you tryna say something?" he asked threatiningly.

you giggled before leaning up to kiss him, sucking and biting on his lips , tasting yourself maing his grip around your throat tighten. he pulled away, leaning his foreheead against yours. "I wanna fuck you really bad, can I?"

you rubbed your hands across his jaw, nodding as you pecked his lips again before climbing down from the counter having to hold unto ony so you didn't fall. ony kissed your cheek as he turned you over, making you grip the counter. you watched in the mirror as he pushed up your dress, biting his lips at the site of your cunt, he pulled up his shirt holding it up with his teeth allowing you to see the muscles that hide under the material then pulling down his sweats, his dick slapping against his stomach causing you to lick your lips. you watched the creamy precum that pooled his tip spill out, dragging eyes from his dick to his face seeing that his eyes were already on you caused you to press your thighs together. ony smirked raising an eyebrow, narrowing his eyes a bit. "you watchin me?" he said

nodding your head, ony muttered a good in reply before lining up against your hole and slowly pushed into you, both of you gasping at the feeling. he held unto you as he felt your knees buckle, slowly slipping more of himself into you. your pussy gripped unto him as he moved slowly insie of you, squelching at his movements. your grip unto the counter tightened as you tried your best to take him, crying out the more he moved

"s-shit. ion understand, how the f-fuck you so tight." he whispered as he tried to fit all of it inside you, kissing your neck as you whimpered at the stretch after not taking him for so long. "you want me to pull out?" he whispered, looking at you through the mirror and chuckling at the way you quickly shake your head.

"n-no, I can take it, don't pull out." nodding his head, ony slowly moved inside of you until he bottomed out, a moan falling from your lips as you felt his dick pulsing inside of you. he waited a little before moving, hissing at the grip your pussy had on him. "shit. gonna need you to relax for me, mama." he said rubbing circles into your hips, you moaned in response trying your best to do as he says.

"ima move now, alright?"

"okay."

he pushed into you with a quick thrust, and you swear you went to heaven as your body rocked against the bathroom counter. ony grunted softly as he listened to your sounds of pleasure, rocking his cock inside of you at a stready and comforable rhythm. he rests his head on your shoulder, kissing and sucking on your neck. "can't believe you kept the pussy away from me mama,"he muttered as he gave you the deepest thrust yet causing your ass to arch back into him, "talking about 'you deserve better', as if you aren't what's best for me." his thrusts started speeding up at his words, his eyebrows began to draw together and his grips on your hips began to tighten.

"t's like you like breaking my heart, you like doing that shit mama?" he asked, leaning down to look at you. you couldn't even answer, too fucked out on his dick to even come up with words other than his name. he suddenly stopped, looking at you with a blank face. "asked you a question, mama."

you tried to fuck yourself back on him, only or the grip on your hips to tighten as he waited for you to answer him. you shook your head repeatedly as you responded, tears begining to flow down your face. "n-no papa! don't like seeing you hurt, mmm!" your breath hitches as he snaps his hips up into your, turning your head so he could kiss you on your lips. another moan falls from your lips as he hits the same same spongey spot inside you, doing it over and over again.

"tell papa who's pussy this is, cmon mama you can do it." he whispers, angling his hips so he can hit the spot repeatedly driving you over the edge. "yours! y-yours! all yours ony! swear!" you screamed, hiccuping. ony brought his hands to your face wipping your tears.

"you sorry for leaving me, mama?"

"y-yea, m'sorry papa." you whined, moving your hips faster against his so your release could come quickly. ony could tell you meant your words because of how you reached for his hands, kissing them as he continued to fuck into you. ony pulled you up, kissing you as you came muffling your moans, fucking you until he came right inside of you.

he dropped you on the counter, leaning his forehead against your shoulder as you both catched your breaths, his arms came around to wrap around you pressing you against his chest as you scratched the back of his head. "you mean what you said, right?" he asked quietly, your fingers not stopping their movement as you responded with a quiet 'yes'.

he leaned up, looking into your eyes. "i love you."

pausing, you blinked at him before letting a smile spread across your face bringing you hands up to hold his face and bring him towards you. "I love you too, happy birthday ony."

"we'll see if it actually is if I managed to put a baby up in you."

a slap sounded throughtout the bathroom, along with a hiss. "onyankopon!"

#writtenbyjae🧘🏾‍♀ #x black fem reader #x black reader #aot🌟 #aot #aot x black reader #aot x reader #aot smut #aot onyankopon #onyankopon smut #onyankopon x black y/n #onyankopon x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x black reader #onyankopon snk #onyankopon x black reader #aot onyankopon x black reader

[universalitgirlsblog2]

💖💋🥂IT GIRL ERA 2024💖💋🥂

💋1) Start putting yourself first . Choose yourself Put your own needs and wants first. What do they advice in flight ? First put your oxygen mask and then try to put others oxygen masks. It's not about oxygen masks.

💖2) Get a social media detox. Social media can be very toxic. We often get into fights with strangers or see toxic people in the comment section or compare ourselves with others. Get off Tumblr , Instagram , Facebook etc. It will help you alot.

🥂3)Get rid of victim mentality. Victim mentality can make things worse for you. You aren't a victim of your reality , you are the creator of your reality. Start taking responsibility and control of your life .

💋4) Believe in yourself . Like Elle Woods said , " most importantly you must have faith in yourself." You must have unwavering faith in yourself . It doesn't matter if others perceive you as less , make sure you don't perceive yourself as less. Your opinion of yourself matters the most.

🥂5) Start taking care of yourself. Self care will save you . Always put your self care first. Go to gym or workout at home. Do skincare. Take care of your hair. Get a mini hair spa. Self care will increase your energy and lower your stress levels. It will boost your self-esteem too.

💖6) Create a vision board. You can make vision board on Pinterest or make one in real life. Just make sure it inspires you and reminds you of your goals. Vision boards are very powerful tool.

💋7) Stop focusing on others. Focus on you. Don't think good or bad about anyone . Be focused on how you can make yourself better. If you don't get time to think about others , good ! Focus on yourself. Except the ones who are close to you , you shouldn't think about others or compare yourself . Just focus on how you can get ahead and make yourself better. I hope this made sense.

🥂8) Love yourself. Self love will save you. Listen , write or speak affirmations. Adopt the IDAF mindset , stop caring about others opinions. Don't compare yourself with others. Let go of toxic cycles and people. Be kind to yourself.

💖9) Remember what Jang Wonyoung said ? I DON'T CARE. YOU ARE YOU , I AM ME . ADOPT THIS MENTALITY. Enter your wonyoungism era !! Wonyoung said that if it's something she didn't do , then she doesn't care. That's where her iconic statement " you are you I am me " came from . Start being okay with people misunderstanding you. Don't try to explain yourself and waste your energy.

💋10) Give importance to your education . Education is the most powerful weapon. Read books. Watch documentaries. Study to learn , not just for good grades.

🥂11) Value your time. Realize how important your present moment is. Don't waste time on unproductive things. Do things that your future self will thank you for . Don't do things that your future self will curse you for.

💖12) Have different role models for different things. Let's say for developing a strong mindset , you can look upto Song Jia , Wonyoung or The wizard liz and for academics , you can look upto Hermione Granger , Elle Woods or Rory Gilmore .

💋13) Stop fighting with stupid people. Even strangers online ! Honestly , strangers online can be very toxic , annoying and stupid. Don't waste your energy arguing with stupid people or people who aren't willing to understand or listen .

💖14) Stop looking yourself through the lens of your past self. It's okay if you made some mistakes . Mistakes are the proof that you are trying. Forgive yourself and learn from them. Stop putting yourself down and keep those mistakes as a lesson. Yes you made some mistakes but after those mistakes , you learnt and made yourself better.

🥂15) No more self- depreciating humor. Your mind doesn't know the difference between reality , fiction or a joke.

💖💋🥂This advice is very basic and simple. But this advice will help you alot. Don't just read this post , make sure you follow this. Happy new year !!! 💖💋🥂

#affirmations #law of assumption #self concept #neville goddard #loa #master manifestor #it girl #affirm and persist #self concept affirmations #assume and persist #wonyoungism #self care #self love #self improvement #self confidence #desired self #it girl mentality #happy 2024 #happy new year #it girl vibes #self development #self worth #self help #productivity #positive mindset #positivity #self love era #wonyoung motivation #it girl mindset #dream life

[skribblezcorner]

ZOSAN AND MECHANICAL BULL SHENANIGANS?! sign me up, yes please.

post inspired by @bidisastersanji 's fantastic prompt, though slightly different since I kept it in the canon verse instead of making it a modern au.

buckle up children, get ready to go bull riding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This is so stupid," Zoro grumbles.

"Can you enjoy anything, for once in your life?" Sanji plucks the cherry from his drink and tosses it into his mouth.

"I can, just not this."

Apparently, watching people get thrown off of a sad excuse for a mechanical bull in some shoddily made ring is supposed to be enjoyable. Zoro has lost count of the number of parties he's been dragged to by his captain, but watching people compete this way for a fucking cowboy hat has to be the least entertaining thing he's ever seen.

"Stop being such a buzzkill. Anyways, it's 'cause these people are fucking terrible," The cook says as he plays with the cherry stem between his teeth. "We had one of these at the Baratie; even Carne could stay on longer than these losers." Sanji downs the rest of his drink, muttering something under his breath.

Flash forward fifteen minutes (and a few drinks), and Zoro is ready to fall asleep. Next to him, Sanji has gotten progressively more vocal about how bad the partygoers are at riding around on the contraption in front of them. The crowd circling the ring has also gotten progressively bigger, squishing them shoulder-to-shoulder.

"Put your goddamn back into it!" The cook cups his hands and shouts to the man up next, who is currently trying to avoid getting rocketed into a wall as the bull violently bucks around. However, the blond's proximity to Zoro also means he shouts right in his ear.

"Do you ever shut up?" Zoro gripes.

"You shut up," Sanji replies, angrily nursing a margarita he stole off a waiter's tray.

"I wasn't even-- I hate you."

About thirty seconds go by before the cook exclaims in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air and almost spilling his drink all over Zoro. "Everyone's fucking incompetent!"

Zoro groans. "Stop complaining like you could do any better, curly-brow."

"I'm offended that you think I couldn't!" Sanji shouts over the cheering of the crowd as another person gets bucked off.

Zoro thinks the cook could last a lot longer than anyone up there, but he doesn't say that -- Sanji's ego is big enough.

"Here, marimo. Hold my drink," Sanji pushes the half-empty glass into Zoro's hands. "Let's make a bet. How long do you think I can stay on?"

"Curly, you're drunk."

"Answer the goddamn question."

Forever, if Sanji really tried. "Five seconds."

Sanji shoots him an offended look. "Jesus, where's your faith?" With that, he turns away and pushes himself to the front of the group of bustling people.

Sure enough, Zoro's watching the cook clamber into the ring, a lit cigarette in his mouth (where did he get that from?) and the worst posture Zoro's ever seen.

The cook hops onto the mechanical bull, grabbing onto the metal grip before pointing and yelling at someone in the corner to start it up.

The thing starts slowly at first, and Sanji's hair sways as the bull moves back and forth. the cook barks again at some unseen person, and then it really starts to ramp up.

The bull starts bucking hard, the force at which it travels increasing each time it swings. Zoro would be worried if he didn't recognize the look of smug anticipation on Sanji's face as he straightens up, even from back in the crowd. He's about to pull some crazy-ass stunt.

When the bull leans forward, The cook uses the momentum to push himself off the handlebars from a seated position and into a handstand, twisting around to plant his feet on the saddle as he comes down.

Sanji moves fluidly with the machine, hips shifting in every direction it leans to keep himself firmly onboard. while the crowd roars, Zoro watches every movement Sanji makes with rapt attention. the blond rocks with the bull, hands now in his pockets and lips still wrapped around the cigarette he pulled from out of nowhere.

He pulls a few more tricks, long, muscular legs propelling him up to balance on the wooden horns of the bull - and gives a cheeky wave to the crowd. Goddamn. Zoro wishes that didn't work on him.

Sanji finishes up his routine with a flourish, doing an aerial and landing smoothly in a crouch on the hay floor of the ring. The crowd cheers even louder than before, and some tubby man comes out to give the cook a pink, bedazzled cowboy hat. The sea of people parts and leaves Zoro standing there awkwardly as Sanji saunters towards him.

"How's that for five seconds, Greenie?" the blond spins the hat around on his finger.

Zoro grunts and tries to suppress the flush on his face. "I could do better."

Sanji rolls his eyes, taking back his drink. "Sure you could. Anyways, I could last a lot longer than that in... other things, y'know?" Sanji makes eye contact with him as he downs the rest of his margarita. "What's that phrase again... ride a bull, fuck a cowboy?" He shrugs, placing the cowboy hat on Zoro's head then looking him up and down. "Eh, close enough."

If Zoro had liquid in his mouth, he would have done a spit take. "What!?"

The blond smirks and puts his cigarette out in the bottom of his glass. "You heard me, marimo. Now- WHERE'S THE FUCKING BATHROOM?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sanji: i really wanna fuck a cowboy rn *puts cowboy hat on zoro* Zoro: *shocked, confused, bewildered* Sanji: That'll do, i guess

eughhh writers block hit me so hard for like 3 days and i rushed to get this out so this might be kinda terrible. wrote it in like 7 minute intervals over the course of a day so some things might not connect?? lmfao..... sleep deprivation is so fetch.

thibking of making an a03 account..... ill let yall know if i do!!!! hope u enoyed reading this pls comment i really appreciate it !! <3333

#one piece #zosan #vinsmoke sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan brainrot #one piece zosan #sanji one piece #zoro one piece #zoro is whipped..... i dont blame him #Sanji using quotes to fuel his mischevious agenda. #save a horse ride a cowboy #or something... #they are so #lgbtq #gay people!!! #just kiss already

[cosmicdream222]

An interview with a shifter who has been “time leaping” since 2001

I found this website of an interview with a Japanese shifter known as Mr. Kanda. He figured out how to shift back in time when he was in middle school - he calls it “time leaping”.

The original website is in Japanese and can be found here.

Mr. Kanda was born in 1986, and around 2001 failed his high school entrance exam. Due to his intense regret, he shifted back in time to repeat middle school. He then made multiple time leaps repeating certain years of his life, studying different subjects in high school and pursuing different careers. At the time of the interview, he says he has lived about 70-80 years of life.

I translated some of the most interesting parts below.

Note: a Tulpa is a phenomenon that’s like an imaginary friend that actually becomes a sentient separate consciousness from you. It’s an entirely different rabbit hole, so you can just think of it as a dream character to understand his story.

My notes are written in [brackets].

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Mr Kanda’s First Time Leap Story

Kanda: When I was meditating on my futon, I started to have a lucid dream.

At that time, Tulpa talked to me and said, "If you raise your clarity to the maximum in your dream, wouldn't it be possible to time leap, or even move around the world?" I tried it, but no matter how much I increased the clarity, it still felt like a dream.

So Tulpa said, "If you get absorbed in something you like, you won't be able to hear the voices around you, and your focus will gain momentum. You will eventually forget that you’re dreaming," so as a result of playing in the dreamworld, I spent about a week in a dream without knowing it.

At that time, I suddenly realized, "This is a dream", but I had already completely forgotten the feeling of the original world, and the dream world had become my new reality.

After thinking about why I didn't come back even though I realized it was a dream, the answer I came up with was, “It's because I completely lost my sense of the original world.”

To explain it another way, wouldn’t it be disorienting if I told you that the person you are right now is in a lucid dream of another person? That’s what it was like for me. My dream had actually become my reality, and I forgot about my old reality.

Q: What was the reason for your first time-leap?

Kanda: I think because something bad happened and I wanted to pretend it never happened.

The first time for me was probably a coincidence/accident. In fact, when I tried to do it again, I couldn't, so I started practicing with time leaps through lucid dreaming and meditation, and I got better at stabilizing and controlling them.

When people can’t do something, they hate it, but when they can do it, they love it. So once you succeed, even just once, your faith increases, and you know you can do it again!

Mr. Kanda’s Lucid Dreaming Method

Mr. Kanda recommends lucid dreams the most as a time-leap method. This is how he does it:

Before you go to sleep, first visualize in your head where you want to go. Then lie on your back and meditate. When you fall asleep, the images you were thinking about will run through your dreams. If you shift your consciousness to yourself in the dream, you will be able to act without being aware of what you are currently dreaming about.

In normal lucid dreaming, you become aware that you are dreaming right now [known as DILD or dream-induced lucid dream]. When trying to time-leap, the important thing is how much you can act in the dream in a way that is consistent with reality. He says it is important to “improve your clarity” to the point where it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore.

Mr. Kanda seems to be able to suddenly enter into a lucid dream from the moment he begins to sleep, [WILD - wake induced lucid dreaming] and he also teaches us how to do so:

First, relax.

In Kanda's case, he darkens his room 70 minutes before going to bed and drinks hot herbal tea. Adjust the temperature in the room to a comfortable level, then listen to some calming music. It's better to feel a little tired.

Once you get into bed, visualize and replay strong happy and positive memories in your mind. When you feel happy, close your eyes and calm down all at once and enter a meditative state.

Mr. Kanda recommends mindfulness meditation. Don't think about anything, just focus on the sound of your heart and breathing. When you successfully fall asleep from meditation, you are conscious but your body is asleep, and lucid dreaming begins.

Kanda meditates for 20 minutes every morning, not just when he wants to lucid dream. According to him, “conditioned reflexes” [creating habits] are important. By repeatedly performing a certain action, one eventually becomes able to enter that state without even trying.

 

Q: If the ‘you’ from another world were to time-leap to this world, what would happen to ‘you’ now?

Kanda: There seems to be a misunderstanding: there is only one consciousness.

Reality changes depending on where we place our consciousness in a world of infinite possibilities.

I do have consciousness in my other reality, but from the perspective of me in the current reality, it seems like I don't have consciousness.

In other words, my life in this other reality is as if it were controlled by a computer.

Of course, the same can be said for us. From the perspective of another reality’s consciousness, we too live our lives as if controlled by a computer.

In the end, even if consciousness from another reality shifts, the consciousness we see is always here. So no matter what they do, it has no effect on us.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #lucid dreaming #shifters

[cemeterything]

last serious post for tonight i promise but i think part of the reason i value critical thinking so much (even though i realize that might come as a surprise if your only knowledge of me as a person comes from here, because tumblr is more of an escape slash stream of consciousness collaborative scrapbook for me than a platform for spreading awareness or teaching and learning tool - no offence to anyone who does use it for that, i just prefer to treat it as a hobby myself) is because i grew up both extremely isolated and controlled and prevented from expressing myself while also watching my parents fall hard down the conspiracy theory pipeline and experiencing the creeping horror of growing old enough to understand that and learning more about the world and being exposed to more people and ideas in it and realizing that my fear and frustration around them wasn't just typical teen angst but an entirely reasonable reaction to their increasing capacity to be very dangerous and untrustworthy people.

and like. i did actually try to pull them back. i wasn't very good at it (partly because i was a kid, and partly because i have my own biases and misconceptions and just plain bad ideas that i'll spend my entire life working on unlearning and trying to be aware and receptive to criticism of) but goddamn it did i fucking try. i tried discussing, i tried debating, i tried arguing back and standing up for myself and others, i tried researching and learning and presenting my counterarguments backed up with actual evidence, i tried to get other people to support me despite lacking much in terms of social skills or confidence or people around me who didn't buy into all the same bullshit, or something equally stupid and harmful. i even read the things they sent me and showed me so i could say "look, i approached this with an open mind and genuine good faith, i reflected on it and i used my critical thinking skills and tried to understand, but this is wrong and it's going to get people hurt. it's going to get you to hurt people."

i grew up knowing that as the closest person to them who hadn't fallen into the same trap of facebook radicalization groups and increasingly deranged and cult-like (and i don't use that word lightly) organizations and communities online i had a responsibility to try to protect people by warning them that my parents have the potential to cause a lot of harm and suffering if nothing else. and i failed. i'm not a trained deprogramming therapist and they probably crossed whatever event horizon ordinary people who aren't professionally taught how to combat that shit could have any chance of pulling them back from long ago. but the one thing i still have the ability to do is not let the same thing happen to me. i refuse to just passively let everything i see and hear fester in my brain until it starts poisoning all my thoughts and interactions with the world and people around me, and i'm still willing to try to encourage others to be aware and critical of everything around them so they don't end up following the same path and ending up unrecognizable to their former selves. i'm not perfect, i've definitely made some very bad mistakes and hurt people in ways i can't and don't want to be forgiven for and have many regrets, but i will never let myself end up like that as long as i have the ability to fight back.

#🐉 #lmk if theres any warnings i should tag this with #it doesnt get into specifics but you can probably fill in the subtext

[souridealist]

the thing about “oh, likes are useless, they don’t do anything” is -- yes, they do? They tell you that someone saw the thing you posted and wished to convey to you their enjoyment or approval. Why is that valueless to you? “Well but likes don’t boost visibility and reblogging does” but visibility is just... people seeing your work and possibly enjoying it. If someone reblogs the post, other people may see it and like it -- but likes are useless! it doesn’t matter if those people enjoyed it, unless they reblog it so their followers can see it, but those followers’ pleasure is also useless and they need to pass it on and where does it end? Is there some minimum number of degrees of separation before it starts to matter that someone liked a thing you made? Is the purpose just to be passed on and passed on and passed on with no end in sight? What are we after here?

This is particularly baffling to me when it’s like, “oh kids are coming from Twitter and TikTok and only liking posts and it’s going to RUIN THE SITE and Tumblr will become EMPTY OF CONTENT” -- okay but. why. you’re still getting more attention and notes -- more people are letting you know that they enjoyed your work -- than if these people didn’t make blogs at all and nothing changed. you’re coming out ahead. why are we comparing everything to what you MIGHT have gotten if people were The Ideal Consumer instead of the actual people they are? why is every reality measured against the theoretical maximum? are you really going to stop drawing or writing or photographing or composing or playing music because the response to it increased but not as much as it might have?

Like. I do get it. It’s discouraging to work on something and get crickets chirping in response! It really is! You want people to like what you make! And I’ve been lucky enough to have a few things that I worked hard on happen to catch a zeitgeist and get a lot of attention by my standards, but by some people’s standards those are still chump change. I’ve also had stories - since then - get a bare pittance of attention, by my standards. And by some people’s standards my pittance is a wealth. And the thing is that that experience really confirmed two things for me - which, admittedly, I’d known intellectually before then but hadn’t really believed in the same way, but they’re still true -

1) it really is about being the right thing in the right place at the right time, as much as luck

2) there is no number of kudos or reblogs or notes or comments or bookmarks or anything that will earn you a Real Adult Good Competent Artist Card that makes you stop feeling insecure. There isn’t. That insecure fearful hollow inside of you is not something you can fill with achievement or attention or praise; it will open up again and again, because the next one might not be as good, because it might be too different, because it might not be different enough, because making art is taking a piece of yourself out of you and putting it into the world for people to see and that’s a fundamentally terrifying leap of faith. You can pour thousands and thousands and thousands of notes or hits or likes or kudos into that hollow and it will just keep draining again and again. The only solution I’ve ever found, the only solution that I’ve ever heard of anyone finding, is a mixture of faith and of learning to work through the fear.

And yeah, no amount of confidence or faith is going to make it stop being a bummer when something flops. It feels bad! You put all that work into something and you want it to be appreciated; you want it to matter! All of that makes sense! But it’s really not going to help you to castigate the people who like your work for not liking it The Right Way. people don’t like being told that their enjoyment is useless. and it’s certainly and emphatically not an attitude that’s going to help you have a good relationship with your work.

[earthgeco]

@heathersdesk as promised here's the explanation of my theory about the importance of imperfection in the church for the perfection of the saints.

As is the way of the Lord this starts several years ago when I was on my mission, where I finally actually understood the importance of trials in our lives.

Newtons third law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If we want to walk forward we need to overcome two forces: gravity, and friction.

Gravity and friction make walking difficult, BUT if we did not have those oppositions there would be no movement. If there were a room with no gravity and no friction, there would be no movement. We would just flail around and never get anywhere, much less toward our goal.

Trials are our spiritual gravity and friction. They provide the opposing force from which we push. To be perfected is a process of trial and growth, trial and growth, trial and growth. It will not be easy but it the only way we can come unto Christ and become like our Heavenly Parents.

Last conference was hard for me and I only ended up watching about half a session, though I have since read some of the talks and quite liked them. It didn't push me out of the church, but it got close. I had recently come out as gender-queer and started using they/them. It made me wonder. I had received personal revelation from the Lord that my gender identity and expression was part of my eternal identity and supported by Them, so why was the quorum of the twelve and the first presidency teaching contrary to this? My answer as typical of the Lord came from an old institute teacher who I had once spent nearly an hour arguing with about trans rights. He was substituting for the class I was in and we were talking about the organization of the church.

Ephesians 4:11-17 teaches us about the organization of the church saying:

11.And he gave some, apostles; and to some, prophets; and to some, evangelists; and to some, pastors, and teachers;

12.For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:

13.Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.

14.That we are henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and the cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive

15.But speaking the truth in love, may grow up unto him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

16.From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working inn the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

17.This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind.

The Church is organized intentionally it is imperfect by design.

"For the perfecting of the saints," trials are the biggest perfecting force in life. So we are perfected both by good and bad experiences within the church and by good and bad experiences with the members of the church.

"In the unity of the faith," becoming unified doesn't happen on accident, a common group dynamic model identifies "storming" or a period of disagreement and struggle as a fundamental part of growing an effective team. Overcoming the struggle is what unifies us.

"Be no more children, tossed to and fro," learning to love imperfect people and finding the good in everyone helps us learn who we are and what we believe which will ground us in Christ.

"But speaking the truth in love...even Christ," Recognizing that Christ is the truth and learning to share the his gospel with love helps us and those around us grow closer to him.

Each part and person in the church is important for the whole to improve every person every policy no matter how harmful it is is there for a reason, so each member of the church can learn and grow. That's not to say we must accept everything. It is often in fighting for change we grow the most. We are not the "true church" because we are the best, or even that we are right about everything. This is the true church because we have the living gospel and we learn and grow together. We work together for the edifying and perfecting of the saints.

#the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #mormonism #queerstake #There's a lot here #we did hit a special intrest

[thatcutemanifestor]

EAVESDROP TECHNIQUE

Disclaimer: This technique works as effective as other techniques. Neville is creator of this technique.

You imagine people talking behind your back about you right but the conversations you imagine are always about bad things about you. Why not imagine them talking good about you. About them talking about your beauty, intelligence, your success and good personality.

Neville's words :

🌺 “Would your friends know of your success the day after it was achieved? Would they get together to discuss it? Make their gathering the scene from which you start. What would they say? Would some of them be jealous? Some happy for you? Put them all together and eavesdrop on their conversation. Then believe in what you have heard. Persist and your success is assured.”

🌺 “Take a simple scene. Would someone congratulate you if they heard of your good fortune? Then allow them to do so. Accept their congratulations, just as you would if they came to you in the flesh. Now remain faithful to that vision. If you need a more complex scene, like two people discussing your success, eavesdrop on them. Listen to their words of praise or envy, then do not forget that vision. Conjured in your imagination, carry it with you, knowing that what it implies will come to pass, for its potency is not in the scene itself, but what the scene implies.”

🌺 “If your income had just been increased to say $30,000 a year from your present income of less than $10,000, how would you feel? How would your present circle of friends see you? Would they know it? Would they discuss it? Would they speak of the change in your life? Tell them, and then eavesdrop and hear your friends discuss you as one who is now making $30,000 a year. That’s a motion in God and that movement will produce results! Everything in this world is nothing more than the result of a movement in God, which is a motion in your wonderful imagination. The slightest imaginal act that is a change (I don’t mean just an act, for you can imagine things you don’t believe), but if you imagine something you believe is a change, a thrill is sent through divine being. At that moment you have actually entered another state and made it alive and real in your world!”

All you have to do is imagine eavesdropping on your friend's conversation about you. It could anything you wanna manifest and just persist. Yes it just about imagining and persisting just you don't have to lift any finger for it to manifest. Just PERSIST PERSIST.

#manifestingmiracles #manifesting #master manifestor #manifestingreality #success story

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Just wondering what posts exactly got your blog Big?

I followed you because of interesting Wales stuff, which I doubt is why most people followed you if your follower base is indeed big enough for it to cause you problems.

Well, it all started with a walrus, and then it was the Clowns in Power and their illegal tea parties. I solidly pick up chunks of followers each time I make certain specific posts - when I posted about my terrible Skyrim potions, for example, I got a few hundred, and I pick up a hundred or so each Christmas as the Mari Lwyd does the rounds. But the thousands and thousands came from the walrus and the clown show

Generally I don't think it's my actual followers that cause the problems, per se (although I imagine some do, there are so many!) I think it's more that my reach these days is much wider. Bad faith actors who don't know at all who I am are much more likely to see stuff I write now, because any given post spreads further. It's not so bad though, I have no fear of the block and delete buttons and if a post is extremely not sparking joy in its responses I turn off reblogs.

Not even extremely, actually - I asked that question the day before yesterday about US universities and got a lot of responses, which was great! But no one checks the notes of posts like that to see if the answer has already been given. So now the responses have long since become the same lengthy explanation with the same info and it's clogging up my notes (hilariously I did reply to it saying "Thank you everyone, this has now been answered", and it actually increased the number of people giving me that same lengthy answer. This is because humans like sharing their personal experiences. No shade at all, it's just inconvenient when you're the OP lol.) So, I'll probably turn off reblogs for that one today.

I do miss the small follower count though. It was a less stressful experience. My reach was limited to people who didn't intentionally misread me and weren't fucking unhinged, so I could say things like "I think dark purple text on a black background is not very readable for my eyes" and not get told I have covid-induced brain damage or told to fuck off by three thousand people in the tags, you know? Good times. I need to find the digital equivalent of rent-lowering gunshots

#asks #tedious personal details

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 7!

My original expected chapter count for this fic was 7 (one stanza of “The Song of the Seven” for each chapter title), but as I started increasing the number, I realized I needed to get creative with chapter titles. For this chapter, I picked the penultimate lyric “close your eyes, you shall not fall” because much of the chapter consists of Aegon helping Jace not “fall” into a further downward spiral, and there’s a certain amount of faith required by all parties that everything is going to be OK in the end.

Originally, Jace’s road to recovery was going to be even rougher than in the final version. She refuses to eat or drink anything, and her family gets pretty desperate to the point of doing stupid things to get her to eat. But I felt like that was unnecessary angst and trauma, and she’s already been through enough, so I dialed it back.

Similarly, she was going to have bad perinatal depression up until and after she gave birth, and there was a sequence where she refused to even hold Cheeseball for some time after he was born. But again, it made me feel like I was whumping on Jace and Aegon for unnecessary pain, so I focused more on the “comfort” rather than the “hurt” part.

This chapter is in Aegon’s POV because it was originally supposed to be the second half of Chapter 6 before I realized it was way too long. After I cut it in half, I debated rewriting it in Jace’s POV, but she’s stuck inside her head a lot this chapter whereas Aegon has a lot more action and growth. We return to Jace in Chapter 8 when she’s feeling more like herself but still recovering.

Orwyle is not a popular character in the fandom, which is understandable. He only gets like one minute of screen time, but that one minute made me think a lot about his character. When he’s a junior maester, he suggests a new poultice to try on Viserys instead of the traditional leeching method, and he shows a bit of doctorly compassion to Rhaenys when Vaemond’s body is being prepared. In the book, Orwyle’s defining trait is that he’s cowardly (he literally rewrites history to make himself look better to the Blacks, and he flees from the ship taking him to the Wall). But I was intrigued by how he ends up working at a mid-level brothel and teaches the girls there to read (how he gets caught later). He didn’t have to teach them how to read, but he chose to anyway (to his own detriment).

Overall I consider Orwyle as someone who’s very talented at his job (healing and teaching), and is actually a pretty empathetic person (good quality in a doctor), but he’s not strong-willed and is willing to cave on his principles to stay alive. Not exactly a villain, definitely not a hero either. So he’s going to do his job and do it well, regardless of his patient (especially in this AU verse where there’s less conflict).

After three years in the Stepstones, I’d be shocked if Aegon didn’t learn first aid (same with Aemond). He’s not necessarily interested in healing and such, but he’s capable of basic combat-adjacent medical tasks. So he knows how to clean and bandage wounds, and he can recognize common healing herbs.

I don’t think I need to explain that Westeros has a pretty poor understanding of mental health and doesn’t know what therapy is 😅. For most people who’ve undergone trauma, they would probably be told “carry on, as you were, etc” and they have to just “get over it.” But Jace is a princess who doesn’t have to worry about earning a living, has an overprotective husband, and is pregnant with a very important baby so her health and comfort are of paramount importance. So she luckily has a supportive environment dedicated to her recovery.

As is stated later in the chapter/fic, Jace fires her remaining LIWs because she’s convinced herself that it’s her fault they were injured/killed, and sending them away from her service will keep them safe. Irrational to be sure, but Jace has always been prone to blaming herself for things. She’s also worried that firing the LIWs will reflect poorly on them, hence her trying to compensate them monetarily. But the offer is insulting to Rhaena, who acts as a LIW primarily out of love. If Jace were more herself, she would’ve realized the implications of her offer equating Rhaena’s love/loyalty with a monetary value.

Initially, Jace’s list of “safe people” is very short: Aegon and Luce. Aegon is self-explanatory. Of all her sisters, only Luce makes the initial list because a) they’ve always been very close and b) Luce was there when they found Jace at the Garden, so there’s an added feeling of security. Although Aemond was also at the Garden, he isn’t on the list because their prior relationship wasn’t nearly as close as the other two.

When Rhaenyra touches Jace’s face while trying to feed her, Jace flips out because the Tyroshi grabbed her face when forcing down the dreamwine and later during his attempt with moon tea.

A little irony in Aegon offering to be Jace’s taste tester, when you think about how he dies in F&B 😢.

During Chapter 7 of the Handbook, Luce picks up three dragonglass daggers from the blacksmith. I mentioned them in the Handbook commentaries, but I’ll reiterate that she intended for Jace, herself, and Joff to each have one, as the three full-blooded daughters of Rhaenyra and Laenor. Jace clearly hasn’t been using her dagger, except to display it on her mantel maybe.

Daemon has decided to develop an emergency protocol in case any of the Targ girls are kidnapped again. I’ve been debating writing a oneshot about it.

Castle kitchens are hot, loud, messy places, and a princess would have no reason to ever go there. In a castle as large as the Red Keep, there are probably multiple kitchens. I imagine the Holdfast has a king’s privy kitchen and queen’s privy kitchen solely for prepping their food, and probably other kitchens too. I imagine the largest kitchens to be in the main part of the Red Keep, and that’s where Aegon puts Gyles and Ronnel. It’s a longer walk to get the pies to Jace and Aegon, but Gyles and Ronnel have a much wider social circle of other servants. It’s also where Aegon has his little office of petitions, and he likes being able to run out and grab pies whenever he wants.

Gyles and Ronnel are used to Aegon, so they’re relatively chummy with him. But they’ve never met Jace before, have only ever seen her at 1000% gorgeousness during her wedding parade, and have heard plenty of Aegon’s stories about how perfect she is. Of course they treat her with more respect and awe than they treat Aegon 😛.

I like to think that Ronnel does become a knight one day, and he wins a tourney in Jace’s name 🥰. And he’d probably take on a house name like Baker to honor his father.

I was trying to figure out how orange juice was made before things like juicers were invented. England had cider presses for apples, but citrus wasn’t really a thing for them back in the Middle Ages. Eventually I stumbled across the citrus reamer, which is definitely something they could’ve carved/created back in the day, but I COULD NOT get over how phallic it looked 😂. Naturally, Aegon finds it hilarious. I’m debating whether Gyles truly is innocent or if he’s messing with Aegon and has a great poker face.

I lingered on the details of how the pies are made because it’s important that Jace sees the process for herself and internalizes that pies are safe foods, they aren’t drugged, Gyles is trustworthy, etc.

I wanted to make sure that Jace wasn’t in a depressed, traumatized torpor all the time, because that isn’t how it works. She can have “good” moments when she’s moving around and seems normal, and then there can be “bad” moments when something triggers her, or she’s having an off day, and she spirals. The important thing is that she’s overall making progress, and it’s OK if she has days when she takes a few steps back.

We got more info in Chapter 8 on what Jace and Luce talk about in the garden. Luce is thinking about her upcoming nameday, which is the earliest date that Rhaenyra will allow her to be betrothed. But then there’s another year until her sixteenth nameday, when Rhaenyra will allow her to get married. Luce is pretty impatient, so she wants to figure out how much canoodling she can get away with during the year in between. So she asks Jace, because she’s positive Aegon didn’t keep his hands entirely to himself before the official wedding 😏.

Aegon is now very loath to ever let Jace out of his sight again, unless he’s 100% sure she’s safe in their room. The Joff incident in Chapter 9 probably doesn’t help.

Luce always haggles, even if it’s about how much distance Aegon has to stay behind her and Jace.

Aegon immediately gets bored of guard duty. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had some form of ADHD: Impulsive, restless, moody, hyperfixation (usually on Jace, but he can get really into his sleuthing).

Hypersexuality sometimes occurs after trauma/sexual violence, hence Jace’s uncharacteristic behavior after the garden scene. And knowing Jace, she’s probably (wrongfully) blaming herself somehow for “leading on” the Tyroshi.

Luce heard the Langward knight gossiping about Jace and got upset, then Aemond beat up the knight to make her feel better, as one does.

Court life means people are always going to gossip and run with the most salacious rumor possible, and it reignites Aegon’s desire for a private life, where he and Jace can live according to their own devices without worrying about what other people think. Unless he pulls a Maegor, he can’t do anything to stop the courtiers from acting like courtiers. So he comes up with the Dragonstone solution, but it’s only a temporary solution. As Otto says in Chapter 10, they are inextricably a part of the game, and Aegon and Jace can only hide away in Dragonstone for so long.

When they were kids, Aegon came up with many plans that got them all in trouble, so Luce recognizes the face he makes 😝.

Aegon has a very soldier mindset of “just pack some clothes and leave,” without thinking about how complicated it is to actually pack a princess’ household. Luckily Luce knocks some sense into him!

I don’t know what winter roses are supposed to look like except that they’re blue, but I liked the idea of petals close together huddling for warmth. And I completely made up Valyrian roses. Not sure if they actually came from Valyria or if it’s named just for the appearance.

Despite everything that happened, Jace is STILL WORKING 😭. What else do we expect from a girl who worked on her wedding night, I guess…

KL has a well system (it’s a big deal during Jaehaerys’s reign), but I imagine the public wells and fountains get real dirty real fast, especially in poorer parts of the city. When Jace was at the Garden, I imagine the girls had limited clean water to offer her for drinking and washing because they have to walk pretty far for good water. So Jace is thinking about that as she writes her well cleaning proposal.

I’ve been thinking a while about writing an Otto POV fic, and one of the ideas I jotted down for myself was that Otto is secretly a nerd about public infrastructure and sanitation. Oldtown seems to be a much cleaner and better run city than KL. I like to think about Otto adopting pet projects that make the capital less smelly and dirty. So Otto is naturally a supporter of a well cleaning project, and I’ve mentioned before that he likes Jace. Also he’s very invested in the pregnancy being successful, so he’ll do his part to reduce stressors.

Once again, the key to influencing/manipulating Jace is not by appealing to her own desires, but by appealing to the happiness and well-being of her loved ones. Aegon knows this, and it’s a good thing he adores her too much to use this power for evil.

Aegon’s household is basically just Gyles and Ronnel, so his departure preparations are quick. I’m sure he has personal servants assigned to him who handle his laundry and such, but he probably bribed them years ago to leave him alone so he can have privacy and sneak out. And he became rather self-sufficient in the Stepstones (although as royalty, he would’ve had servants there too for menial stuff), so he doesn’t want anyone helping him dress or shave or bathe or whatnot.

Aemond is such a bro, holding down a knight so Aegon can beat him up 🥲. Aegon knows Jace would disapprove of him breaking someone’s jaw for gossiping so he’s careful not to leave any evidence on his person.

Aegon also knows how to push Aemond’s buttons, so he easily convinces Aemond to join the Dragonstone vacation. Aemond would probably have invited himself anyway once he found out about the guest list.

While Jace has been reducing the governing work she does during pregnancy, Rhaenyra has been doing more of it. In canon, Rhaenyra seems content to isolate herself with her family at Dragonstone, so I carried over that attitude of savoring domestic bliss into this verse. But here, Jace is an overachiever, and I think her example kickstarts Rhaenyra into being more active too. So Rhaenyra has work obligations, and social ones as she’s been ingratiating herself at court again. It would be difficult to pack up her entire household (much larger than Jace and Aegon’s) and disappear to Dragonstone for 2-3 months, so she can’t immediately leave like the kids can.

Like Aegon, Rhaenyra is a bit paranoid now about letting Jace out of her sight. She’s also had a longstanding petty grudge about Jace picking Aegon as her #1, so she strongly disapproves of Aegon’s plan to take Jace away, even though Dragonstone is very close and technically her castle.

Aegon is not what I’d call emotionally mature, and he’s a troublemaker by nature. So he deliberately responds to Rhaenyra with things he knows she’ll hate hearing. And in the end, he forces Rhaenyra’s hand by telling Jace “of course Rhaenyra would love for us to go to Dragonstone” 😇.

Poor Daeron is too pure for Daemon’s Torture 101 class. Meanwhile Joff has an avid clinical interest in human anatomy, and Daemon is having the time of his life. Targ family bonding!

The Tyroshi put a collar on Jace, so Daemon put a collar on him to make things fair.

The Tyroshi knows he’s never going to escape, and he’s already endured an awful amount of torture/mutilation. At this point his goal is to die swiftly, so he tries to provoke Aegon into killing him.

I haven’t 100% decided the Tyroshi’s backstory, but I’m imagining him coming from one of the powerful conclave families in Tyrosh. There was absolutely no need for him to go to Westeros and make money through usury and slavery; he chose to because he thought it’d be fun to “get one over” the Targaryens by conducting a trafficking ring in their own capital (I imagine Tyrosh having an ancestral hatred of Valyrians, even though a lot of their culture was inherited from them as a result of being part of their empire). Just in case it wasn’t clear what kind of sadistic sociopathic person he is.

Joff has been brooding a lot about Laenor’s death ever since they found Old Willow, and now her guilt is carrying over into recent events with Jace.

We will learn more about the wet nurse in Aegon’s memory in future fics 👀. She calls him “Uncrowned One” because in this verse, he’ll be another Aegon the Uncrowned.

“Three children you shall have with your wife, black or green or something in between.” In canon, Aegon has three kids with Helaena. In this verse…well, I feel like I’ve dropped a lot of foreshadowing about him and Jace 😊. “In between” refers to how there isn’t a strong black/green divide in this verse, but there’s a new faction (gold) that includes people on both sides.

“All of them shall break like your legs and wings.” In canon, all of Aegon and Helaena’s children die terribly, and Aegon and Sunfyre end up crippled. In this verse, there is a close call during Cheeseball’s birth; if the maester and midwives had chosen to save Jace, the process for extracting a stuck baby is really gruesome.

“Unless you keep this little shadow close to the sun.” Jace has gotten a lot of sun imagery in this fic, and Joff is kinda obviously the shadow. It’s because of Joff’s intervention that the birth ends well. So there’s a way to avoid the “broken” part of the prophecy, but the condition must be met.

Aegon is a skeptic when it comes to witchcraft and prophecy, but there’s a reason his subconscious brings to the memory at this moment. Don’t leave Joff behind!

Aemond finds it extremely undignified that Vhagar, the largest dragon in the world and a veteran of multiple military conflicts, has been relegated to delivering baggage.

The stained dancing slippers that Jace finds in her room at Dragonstone are the same slippers that someone (Luce) accidentally ruins in Chapter 3 of the Handbook.

Valyria is strongly inspired by Classical Greece and Rome, so I decided to give them Roman-style bathhouses, which were often decorated with mosaics and has a hot room, warm room, and cold room. The Targs (or whoever built the castle) imported this to Dragonstone, and the volcano means they can get hot water very easily. Aegon was in the guest quarters last time he visited so this is his first time seeing the family bathhouse.

Some commenters suggested that Luce and Aemond are probably canoodling during their trips to the Dragonmont. There might be some of that going on, but Aemond is a huge dragon nerd, so I can imagine him geeking out about exploring the Dragonmont while Luce is disgruntled about him being oblivious to her attempts to make out 😂.

Gerardys is hoping that Jace will be OK with him and the midwives helping her by the time it’s time to give birth. But in case she isn’t OK, he decides to put one of the Targ girls on a midwifery fast-track. He picks Baela because she’s the strongest of the bunch, and acting as a midwife can be very physically exhausting.

Meanwhile, the mysterious bangs in the tower are Joff and Daeron trying to figure out ways to light the glass candle. This involves blowing up some stuff along the way.

Hyrkoon the Hero is part of ASOIAF lore, one of the potential alternative names for Azor Ahai. I decided that he’s the main character in quite a few fairy tales/myths, and every hero needs a sidekick. I invented the sidekick Santus the Swine by combining a half-pig character in Chinese folklore and Don Quixote’s Sancho Panza (whose name is supposedly derived from the Latin Sanctus), and it wasn’t until afterwards that I thought about the Pink Dread (which never happened in this universe because Jace stopped Aegon). I guess Aemond really can’t escape the pig references in any universe 🐷.

Anyway, Aegon’s really lucky he didn’t get himself and baby Jace killed when he shoved their wagon down their stairs. And Jace not being cut by the Iron Throne is a sign, maybe??? 👀👀👀 And yes, there is much symbolism in little Aegon helping baby Jace climb up the throne 🥺.

#my writing #meta #house of the dragon meta #hotd meta #fanfic meta #aegon ii targaryen #female jacaerys velaryon #the golds

[nottskyler]

The Church has an obsession with obedience, specifically obedience to the prophet. I think this comes from a misunderstanding of both the first law being obedience and the purpose of having a prophet.

The first law being obedience does not mean giving up your agency to only do what someone else tells you to do, but it does mean following rules that are important until you understand why they exist. Like a child learning to stop and look both ways before crossing a street or to not hit their sibling or to eat fruits and vegetables so they aren’t constipated. Those rules should be followed because they are important to living a good life and getting along in society, and as a child you don’t yet understand why. You have to obey until you are old enough to understand and then adapt them to their life (like looking as you approach the street instead of stopping or knowing to not cross if you can’t see around a blind corner) but a parent should never force a child to eat legumes if their child breaks out in hives every time they eat them.

Obedience is an act of faith. If there were no commandments, there would be no way to have faith. It’s the act of saying hey I want to trust you, what do I need to do to see if what you say is trustworthy. It’s the first law because without it you can’t experience the transformative power of faith and repentance (the act of becoming a better person). It’s virtue lies solely in developing faith.

This is why “blind obedience” is bad. Blind obedience is giving up your agency to allow someone else to dictate what is right instead of figuring it out for yourself. You are allowed to experiment upon “divine” counsel from prophets and determine that it is not right based on the fruits you experience. And guess what, some people will be allergic to vegetables while other people feel so much better after starting to eat vegetables. And that’s the point. We are supposed to learn for ourselves what is good and evil. If there was only one right answer, humanity would’ve figured it out by now and we wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn for ourselves.

Which brings us to prophets. So many people what to surrender their agency and just blindly follow prophets (I used to be one of them). Sure, if you deign to simply be a sheep following the prophet, yeah you will likely be in the clear as the prophet will be accountable for your actions, but you will be unfit for exaltation. Heavenly Father isn’t running this world based on something someone else is telling Him to do.

So what is the purpose of the prophet? To be a warning on the watchtower. The prophet warns us of dangers ahead and tells us to repent and be prepared. The only time prophets get specific laws for everyone is when they are also leading people in a secular manner (Moses).

Let’s take the example of the family being under attack. And you betcha it is. Families are being broken up by poverty, meaning the state treats being unable to take care of your children due to lack of money the same as physically abusing them. Florida is threatening to break up families if any family member is trans. Anti-abortion laws are encouraging people to be sterilized rather than risk an unwanted pregnancy, meaning families that might’ve been formed won’t be. Long work hours and low pay are reducing the size of families and putting undo stress on families. Expensive healthcare also reduces the amount of kids people have and quality of life and time spent with families, including feeling like it is better to die painfully than riddle your family with medical debt.

The warning that families were under attack was correct. The idea that it was LGBT people trying to live authentically and form families of their own was not correct. It is the rejection of a queer child that breaks up a family, mixed orientation marriages, disagreements on the right way to help a trans child, the fascist response to queer happiness and families, and the general lack of pay increase and exploitation of good people who want to have families but can’t because a billionaire wants a higher score than last year.

Just like I won’t receive revelation for the Church and it’s administration, the prophet is not to make up commandments when Gd has simply given a warning, to create so many rules and policies that it prevents people from experiencing the love of Christ, or to put himself as a Gd on earth without need for repentance, especially for speaking good ideas that aren’t actually meant for everyone.

Sharing my testimony about how Christ has healed me and promising the same to others in my situation is not “receiving revelation for the Church”. It’s finding a legume alternative to fiber and sharing with those who also share that allergy. It’s saying Gd does not want people to suffer an allergic reaction and possibly die. It’s shining my light so others can come to Christ and reduce the suffering in the world.

#personal study #queerstake #faith #obedience #prophets

[thoughtfulfoxllama]

Ok, so it's Fast Sunday in my Ward, and I'm eating Graham Crackers in my In-Laws Ward Lobby, so let's talk about Fasting

Fasting in Mormonism is pretty basic: no food or drink for 24 hours or 2 meals. I never said basic was simple though, so let's deconstruct that

For one, why is it 24 hours or 2 meals? Are we supposed to only eat 2 meals a day? Honestly, I have no idea. Pres Joseph F Smith moved the Church's Fast Day to Sunday (it was Thursday before then) in the early 1900s, and defined a fast as evening to evening. So, maybe the idea of 2 meals or 24 hours is whether you eat Dinner before you start your fast or not (in 1976, Pres Nelson wrote an Ensign Article, where he said that Fasts should be 2 Meals, with no indication of 24 hours, meaning that, to him at least, Evening Meals should not be skipped)

Next, what's considered "food and drink?" Does water count, for example? Everything I've found says "it's personal." In Utah, the custom is to not drink water, but in order to understand what's allowed, we must look at the purpose of fasting. The Purposes of a Fast are increased spiritual connection & to help the poor and needy through increased empathy (encouraging is to help them) and generous fast offerings. If you ask me, not drinking water is counterintuitive to the first purpose. So, I understand the traditional LDS Fast to deal with Calories & Pleasure. If you can, abstain from food, and liquids aside from water. If you can't (for example, I need to eat with my medicine), then eat plain foods as needed

But, we're not the only Faith that requires Fasting. How do they do it (there's definitely more, but these are the ones I'm familiar with):

Judaism: Judaism has several fast days. In addition to optional fasting on Mondays, Thursdays, and the day before the start of the month, they have 6 main fasts. 4 of them are from Dawn to Dusk, but the 9th of Av Fast & Yom Kippur fasts are from Sunset to Sunset, with an abstinence from all Food and Drinks (with additional abstinence from Leather Shoes, Bathing, and Sexual Relations on Yom Kippur). And since Yom Kippur is tomorrow, I wish a Meaningful Yom Kippur to any Jewish People who come across this post before the fast

Islam: In Islam, they have the Month of Ramadan. During this month, Muslims will abstain from all Food, Drink, Tobacco, Sexual Relations, and Sinful Behavior (such as swearing) during daylight hours, instead replacing them with Prayer & Study of the Quran. They also have 2 meals, one before the fast, and one after

Christian: Christianity has so many branches, so obviously has the most distinctions. Many Christians practice a Eucharistic Fast (where they fast before taking the Eucharist, or in Mormon Terms, the Sacrament). Early Christians would also fast on Wednesday & Friday, to commemorate the Betrayal & Death of the Savior. There are also 2 seasons of fasting: Lent & Advent. Lent begins with a fast from all Food and Liquid (known as a Black Fast) on Ash Wednesday, and ends with a Black Fast on Good Friday. During Lent, Christians abstain from a certain bad habit they have (such as smoking), and are expected to increase their Prayer, Study, and Alms (or Fast Offerings as we'd call them). On Fridays during Lent (as well as all Wednesdays & Fridays in Orthodox Christianity), they participate in a Lesser Fast, where one lessens food intake (2 small meals during sunlight hours) and only need abstain from Olive Oil, Dairy Meat, and Fish until sundown. There's also the Daniel Fast, which was a diet where only Kosher food could be eaten, but now refers to only eating Whole Grains, Fruits, Vegetables, Pulses, Nuts, Seeds, and Oils (for the Lesser Fast & the Daniel Fast, that's just being Vegan. So I guess Vegans really are holier than I /j)

Faith of the Seven (A Song of Ice & Fire): I know it's not a real religion, but it came to mind when typing. Whenever Priests in this religion saw the need, they would fast from everything except Bread & Water. (Warning, if done for 40 days straight, this can lead to death and being known as a fanatical king)

Long story short: don't judge how people fast. Not everyone fasts the same way, or even can. I fast from everything except water. I also fast at the New Moon. But if you can only handle a Daniel Fast, then as long as you use it as an opportunity to serve your fellow man (direct service or fast offerings), and come closer to God, that's what matters

#mormon #lds #tumblrstake #queerstake #fasting #mormon fast #fast sunday

[viktoriakomova]

i want to make this a separate post instead of tacking it onto the last post i reblogged, because a) i feel like its getting way too far away from the point of the OP and as someone who has been in that position several times on my main blog its annoying as shit, and b) i dont want it to feel like anybody is ganging up on OP or "dragging" them or whatever, i dont think what they said was mean spirited or came from a place of bad faith etc etc etc. (if i did i would have been a whole fucking lot meaner in replying lmfao) and i also dont think anything it said was Wrong tbh.

okay all that being said!

i will put my tags of my last reblog in the main text here, because this is something i want to expand on:

not to get too Deep about it but. the colonizing countries literally have more wealth and resources and opportunity *because* th#*they stole so much from the global south. they have the $ and the stability to develop ‘frivolous’ things like gym#at the direct expense of the colonies who are left penniless and in perpetual chaos and upheaval

(for context this is re: children of immigrants in diaspora and their connections to their parents'/grandparents' homelands and culture, and maintaining those ties when the reason they came to the global north are for increased opportunity for success and upward mobility etc.)

i wont turn this into a treatise on economic exploitation and its consequences like i alluded to in the tags (i would if i had like 3 glasses of wine tho lol) but the following is something i really do want to underscore:

i love nemour for a lot of reasons. the gymnastics itself, yes of course. i know i snark and make jokes all the time about her shitting on the FFG every time she does anything great under the 🇩🇿 flag. but sincerely, what she is doing for gymnastics in algeria, in north africa in general (hell even in africa overall given the attention that african champs got because of her), is truly something special. i will admit that i dont stay on top of algerian sports media lol but i do speak french and what ive seen, just what has come across my radar, in the francophone algerian press (both in france and in algeria) is drumming up major excitement about her. this is the kind of attention that gets people who otherwise wouldnt give a shit emotionally invested in the sport. the social and historical baggage of the treatment of algeria and algerians in france, and the olympics being in paris, is just the icing on the cake.

its not exactly the same dynamic, especially not in terms of the Discourse about resources and access in diaspora, but i cant help but to be reminded of daiane dos santos, who famously started the sport at the age of 12. and only 8 years later she became a world champion on floor. she was the first world champion in WAG from brazil, south america entirely in fact, ever!!!! rebeca andrade mentions her all the time as an inspiration for her as a little girl. rebe went out of her way (i mean that figuratively as well as very literally, we all know the story about her brothers escorting her through the favela to the gym and back) to do the sport, because she saw dos santos do great things and looked up to her. and now shes REBECA FUCKING ANDRADE. would we have Rebe™ if it hadnt been for daiane? no probably not!

i guess it just..... not "upsets" me, thats not the word im looking for, but maybe gives me pause when i see anybody say (about any of the aforementioned US-born gymnasts representing other countries, not just in this case with nemour) that its opportunistic or undeserved to be competing under the flag of a country your parent(s) came from but you've never properly lived in. because...... isnt that the whole purpose of the multi-generational Narrative Arc? dont they pick up their whole lives and move to "wealthy" countries to pursue better lives for themselves, and more importantly, for their children? and then their children do take advantage of those opportunities they would not have gotten back "home" and reach the highest levels of a (very expensive and, until very recently, highly "inaccessible") sport. and then there's a chorus of "well it isn't like she's FROM from there and came up from the ranks within that country." i mean you're not wrong but thats.... kinda the point!!! she couldnt have done it at "home," shes a clear example of how much talent there is in places that are torn apart and dirt fucking poor and how if you give those people the opportunity, they can be really fucking good at this! world class, even!

she is, in a very REAL sense, "representing" algeria. if she does well in paris (🧿🧿🧿🧿 *furiously knocking on every wooden surface in my apt*) she will become an emblematic iconic sports star for algeria. she will be the reason a ton of little girls in algeria (and even franco-algériennes in france) will want to sign up for gymnastics! she will have (and has already had, by the looks of it) a tangible impact on the popularity and the future of the sport in algeria. it cannot be overstated how fucking much that means.

#i love that there are like 30 of us still here so we can have conversations like this by the way lmfaooooo #this turned into a whole ass essay i was really foolish enough to think i (ME) could keep this under 3 paragraphs 💀

[tenebris-lux]

Content/trigger warnings: talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide.

Does anyone else find the changes in Jonathan … worrying? I think that promise to not tell Mina anything about the case is part of the reason. He can’t vent to her, she can’t encourage him to talk, so he’s starting to obsess, and the obsession is getting dragged out by the wait for the Czarina Catherine.

I’ve also been rereading a paragraph from October 3:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

At first glance, one might think, “ohhh, that’s so sweet, he loves her so much….” But it’s not sweet. It’s … bad. Yes, he loves her THAT much. So much that if something were to happen to her, he’d let the same thing happen to himself. Vampires aren’t romantic creatures in this novel—they’re demonic, murdering monsters with no identifying behaviors of the person they used to be. The vampires are predators. They go after children, babies, take blood from people against their will, and sometimes enjoy their victims’ pain. Jonathan has seen this firsthand while helpless and in near-paralyzed states, has nearly been a victim of one. He knows all this. And his statement indicates he’ll willingly do that to other innocent people too if Mina turns.

As the vampire isn’t really who they were when alive, it’s not like it’ll be a comfort to each other if they both turn. For all we know, they might not have the same feelings for each other after they’re both vampires. Dracula lost all interest in Lucy once she turned. Jonathan would probably be Mina’s prime target (if she remembers; Lucy didn’t go after Arthur until he was in front of her, then she threw the child to the ground; and we knew how much he meant to her when she was alive). Harker didn’t promise to stake Mina either, so … he’d just let it happen.

Take out the word “vampire” and put in the word “zombie” or “ghoul”. It’ll amount to the same thing. She’ll bite him, he’ll turn … and then they’ll each hunt for more victims. Maybe together, maybe apart. It won’t be THEM anymore. His entries essentially say, “vampires can increase their numbers by going after their loved ones … fine. I’ll join them if it comes to that.” Become a “Devil of the Pit” like all of them. A “Thing,” as Seward called the vampire that had been Lucy.

So … to me, it sounds more like a suicide promise. He wouldn’t make sure she doesn’t hurt anyone else … he’d just follow suit. Because everything else in the world? It’s not even secondary; it’s inconsequential. Mina dies or turns, he’s not going to allow himself the chance to recover. Hell, if he sticks true to his vow, he might turn on the other guys to prevent them from staking her. And that would be against Mina’s dying wish.

Preferably, he wants the Count dead and out of their lives. Then … well, he’s not thinking about afterwards, because there might not be one.

Looking at his October 4 entry and comparing it to his behavior now, there’s clear deterioration in his psyche:

“For my own part, now that his horrible danger is not face to face with us, it seems almost impossible to believe in it. Even my own terrible experiences in Castle Dracula seem like a long-forgotten dream. Here in the crisp autumn air in the bright sunlight—

Alas! how can I disbelieve! In the midst of my thought my eye fell on the red scar on my poor darling’s white forehead. Whilst that lasts, there can be no disbelief. And afterwards the very memory of it will keep faith crystal clear. Mina and I fear to be idle, so we have been over all the diaries again and again. Somehow, although the reality seems greater each time, the pain and the fear seem less. There is something of a guiding purpose manifest throughout, which is comforting. Mina says they perhaps we are the instruments of ultimate good. It may be! I shall try to think as she does. We have never spoken to each other yet of the future….”

Since then, the very next day in fact, Mina made Jonathan promise to keep her ignorant of the plans to take out the Count.

“‘I promise!’ and as I said it, I felt that from that instant a door had been shut between us.”

Then a few days later, she asked for the assurance that she be taken down should she become a danger to anyone. Harker couldn’t promise that. But he did consent to read her the burial service. And if that fucked up Jack as we heard on the phonograph, what must that have been like for him? But even though she’s not technically dead, they’re keeping distance between them, so … he’s not doing well. His entries after the burial service have some cynical humor in them. Jack said today that Harker’s hands were like ice while they’re all just waiting for news, and he’s sharpening his blade “which he now always carries with him.”

None of these are good signs. The only future he’s thinking of at this point is the Count’s destruction, so that’s what’s defining him now.

Count Dracula may be a ways away, but he’s caused a psychic drain to happen to Harker. Again. And this time, Mina can’t help bring him back to health. He can’t open up to her, and she can’t get herself involved. They can’t balance each other or work together like they’re used to. All they can do … is just see each other. And hurt. And Jonathan’s best outlet right now is sharpening that damn knife.

#jonathan harker #mina harker #count dracula #lucy westenra #vampires #dracula #dracula daily

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #47: 1996

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Los del Tio, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, Celine Dion, The Tony Rich Project, Mariah Carey, Tracy Chapman, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Donna Lewis, Toni Braxton, Keith Sweat. End description]

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A lot of major moments to talk about this year. Like my birth. I was born out of the Macarena Summer.

In 1996, the Bayside Boys remix of Los del Rio's Macarena became a cultural phenomenon as well as an incredibly popular song (I'm clarifying it's a remix, because the non-Bayside Boys version also reached the Hot 100 at number 98). The track's record for longevity in the Hot 100 would only be broken almost two decades later by Adele.

Speaking of record-breaking songs, One Sweet Day, the duet between Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, is a towering R&B number. At 16 weeks, the song held the record for most weeks at the number one spot until Lil Nas X came out with Old Town Road in 2019.

One Sweet Day is a song about grief, specifically the track was inspired by the ongoing AIDS epidemic. It's not the only song on this poll related to this issue. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony wrote Tha Crossroads to honor Eazy-E, one of the establishing figures behind the West Coast rap scene who passed away from AIDS-induced pneumonia in 1995 when he was just 30-years-old.

Sadly, the stretch between 1995 and 1996 would be marked by several losses among legends in rap and hip-hop. In 1996, The Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur would be murdered with only a few months between their deaths. These losses will be relevant in a direct manner when we get to the next poll, but it's not an exaggeration to say that the music world was shaken by their deaths. There were those who were quick to make bad-faith arguments blaming the violent subject matter of the music itself. And while the coast-based rivalries did get extremely intense, I think this is a reductive conclusion to come to. To many, however, this moment in music history felt like a nation-wide wake up call.

As rap became more mainstream and started to absorb more of pop music influences into its sound, the genre was bound to change. We've already seen this with the increasing number of R&B fusions and rap verses on pop songs. But some mark this year as another turning point for the genre, as the gangster rap era starts to fade in the mainstream music scene. Even outside of rap, after this point pop music starts to feel a lot sunnier, for lack of a better term. Whether this is due to coping with these recent tragedies, a larger demographic of younger music listeners dictating the majority taste, people gearing up for the new millennium, the record industry reaching record numbers in profits, or genuine positivity and optimism (think that might have been still a thing lol), the times are certainly about to change.

#billboard poll #billboard music #tumblr poll #1990s #90s music #1996 #los del rio #mariah carey #boyz ii men #the tony rich project #tracy chapman #bone thugs n harmony #donna lewis #toni braxton #keith sweat