#and guess what heres what my fucking dong looks like

[painfullyconfused]

#*shakes this like a bag full of dog treats* #COME GET IT #i’ve come to make an announcement #shadow the hedgehog is a bitchass motherfucker #he pissed on my fucking wife #thats right #he took his fucking hedgehog quilly dick out and pissed on my FUCKING WIFE #and he said his dick was T H I S B I G #and i said thats disgusting #so im making a callout post on my twitter.com #shadow the hedgehog #you gotta small dick #its the size of the wallnut except WAY SMALLER #and guess what heres what my fucking dong looks like #*blows up a space rock* #thats right baby #ALL POINTS #NO QUILLS #NO PILLOWS #look at that #it looks like two balls and a bong #he fucked my wife so guess what IM GONNA FUCK THE EARTH #THATS RIGHT #this is what u get #my SUPER LAZOR PISS #except im not gonna piss on the earth #im gonna go higher #im pissing on the MOON #HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA?? #i pissed on the moon u IDOIT

[westaysilly]

i love all my mutuals a lot !!!! except for @elizakai FUCK @elizakai PUBLIC EXECUTION for @elizakai

#I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT: ELIZAKAI'S A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER #THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE #THAT'S RIGHT #THEY TOOK THEIR ELIZAKAI FUCKING QUILLY DICK OUT #AND THEY PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE #AND THEY SAID THEIR DICK WAS “THIS BIG” #AND I SAID “THAT'S DIGUSTING” #SO I'M MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TUMBLR.COM: ELIZAKAI THE ARTIST #YOU GOT A SMALL DICK #IT'S THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER #AND GUESS WHAT? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE #THAT'S RIGHT BABY #ALL POINTS NO QUILLS NO PILLOWS #LOOK AT THAT IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG #THEY FUCKED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT #I'M GOING TO FUCK THE EARTH #THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET! MY SUPER LASER PISS #EXCEPT I'M NOT GOING TO PISS ON THE EARTH #I'M GOING TO GO HIGHER I'M PISSING ON THE MOON #HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT

[maddymoreau]

#Who ever donated to get him to read this ꉂ (˃̶᷄‧̫ॢ ˂̶᷅๑ ) I LOVE YOU!!! So I had to edit the audio to the video!!! #Error143 #Micah Yujin #MaddyMoreauPost #I’ve come to make an announcement Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitchass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. #That’s right he took his hedgehog little quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was THIS BIG. #And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter. com. #Shadow the Hedgehog you got a small dick it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what here’s what my dong looks like: #PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All point no quills no pillows look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. #He fucked my wife so guess what I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET MY SUPER LAZER PISS. #Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that Angel? #I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty three hours before the piss droplets hit the fucking Earth! #Now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

[ashwii]

How does donnie feel about eggman pissing on the moon? /reference

JWHEHEBW PLEASE, donnie does not appreciate it 😩😩

#ive memorized his announcement #ive come to make an announcement ahowdoe the hedgehogs a bitch ass mother fucker he pissed on my fucking wife that's right he took his hedg #ehot fukin quilly dick out and be pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was this big and i saod that's disgusting so in making a c #allout post on my twitter dot com shadow the hedgehog you have a small dick it's the size of this wall nut except way smaller and guess wha #t here's what mt dong looks like pfffpft that's right baby all points no quills no pillows look at that it looks like two balls and a bong #he fucked my wife so im gonna fuck the earth that's right you get my super lazer piss except im not gonna piss on the earth im gonna go hig #her im pissing on the moon how do you like that Obama i pissed on the moon you idiot you have 23 hours before the piss drrropppletsss hit t #he fucking earth now get out of my sight before i piss on you too

[martlet-of-snowdin]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

-Eggman

#I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker #he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right #he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife #and he said his dick was “This big” and I said that's disgusting #so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com #Shadow the Hedgehog #you've got a small dick #it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller #and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT #THAT'S RIGHT #BABY. ALL POINTS #NO PILLOWS. Look at that #it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET #MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT #OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PI #dont ban me pls #underblog💛 #non canon🧊 #ask martlet!❄️ #shitpost

[encryptedbread]

Just saw sonic three early, loved the scene where Eggman was on his moon base and said

"I'll be right back, I've gotta go take a piss, afterwards I'll make my announcement to the world"

(Apparently there's a tag limit, so I couldn't put the full thing in the tags

#HE'S PISSING ON THE MOON #I have an announcement to make #shadow the hedgehog #is a bitchass mother fucker #he pissed on my fucking wife #he took his little hedgehog fucking quilly dick out #and he pissed on my fucking wife #and he said his dick was “this big” #and i said that's disgusting #so im making a call out post on my twitter dot com #shadow the hedehhog #you have a small dick #it's the size of this wall nut #except way smaller #and guess what #here's what my dong looks like #bwooooooggg #all point #no pillows #look at that it looks like two balls and a dong #he fucked my wife #so im gonna fuck the earth #that's right #that's right this is what you get #MY SUPER LASER PISS #except on not gonna piss on the earth #im gonna go higher #IM PISSING ON THE MOON #HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA #I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT

[microwavethemicrowave]

Fun Microwave Fact:

I'm not "actually" in new Mexico. That was prop of Ganda they made to try to connect me to Walty whited.

#I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker #he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right #he took his #hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife #and he said his dick was “THIS BIG #I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog #you've got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY small #er #And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like.That's right #baby. All points #no quills #no pillows look at that #it looks like two balls #and a bong. He fucked my wife #so guess what #I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right #this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm #not gonna piss on the Earth #I'm gonna go higher; I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! How do you like that #Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON #YOU IDIOT! #You have twenty-three hours before the piss D R O P L E T S hit the fucking Earth #now get outta my fucking sight #before I piss on you too

[hellsitegenetics]

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch ass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

String identified: ’ c t a a act: a t gg’ a tc a t c. cg . Tat’ gt, t gg c' c t a cg , a a c a T G. A a “tat’ gtg!” ’ ag a cat t ttt t c: "a t gg, gt a a c, t’ t t at ct A a." A g at, ’ at g : GT. Tat’ gt a. A t, , , at tat t t a a a g. c g at, ’ ga C T AT. TAT GT T AT GT, A . ct ’ t ga t at, ’ ga g g. ’ g t ! tat, AA? T , T! a tt-t t t t t cg at, gt t cg gt t!

Closest match: Molanna angustata genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Hood casemaker fly

#tumblr genetics #asks #sent to me #requests #real time fandub #alfred #eggman #sonic the hedgehog #snapcube #fly #insects #bugs #long fuckin thang

[shima-draws]

#Sonic #Snapcube #Shadow the Hedgehog #Eggman #Polls #Poll #USING MY POWER FOR GOOD. HAPPY FIRST POLL @ ME #Shima speaks

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for pissing on the moon?

S is a bitch ass motherfucker who pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and pissed on my fucking wife! And he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com. S, you got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller.

And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like! That's right baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks just like two balls and a bong!

He fucked my wife so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth! That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOOOOOOOON!!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!

YOU HAVE TWENTY-THREE HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH, SO GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I FUCKING PISS ON YOU TOO!

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[tsumskz]

valentine’s day with your plug

stoner eren x reader

Tw: smut, mentions of weed and smoking, breeding and oral

just a little late valentine’s day post

Eren Yeager, the most well known suppler in your town. if you weren’t getting your stuff from him then who were you getting it from ?

not only did he have some of the best weed you’ve ever smoked but he was gorgeous, and quite frankly that made your blood boil. it was the brown hair that laid perfectly on his shoulders, half always tied up in a little bun at the back of his head. and those beautiful green eyes that always hung low when you saw him and would catch yourself getting lost in if you stared too long. he was hot and he knew it.

whenever you were in need of bud you dreaded having to hit him up because it’d either take hours for a response or he would leave you on read and randomly show up at your place saying “here”.

you’re sure he thought his looks could make up for his shitty service, but i guess it does because you go back everytime no matter how much it pisses you off.

well today was the same as every other day expect for the fact that it was valentine’s day so all of your friends were busy with their boyfriends and getting laid, blah blah blah and you happened to be violently single but at least you have weed right ?

oh damn i forgot i’m out…

…FUCK IM OUT

god this can’t be happening. it’s valentine’s day and you’re out. eren HAS to have plans tonight, there’s no way he doesn’t and youre gonna be stuck here. bored. sober. alone.

you might as well try to text him and see if there’s a slim chance he’s able to drop by.

walking to your room you contemplate what you’re gonna say, grabbing your phone tapping your fingers till you get to his contact. how do you do this without sounding like a loser ?

6:46pm. you: hey, was wondering if you’d be able to drop by tonight ? wasn’t sure if you’d be busy

now we wait. putting down your phone you go back to what you were occupied with before this catastrophe happened. you suspected it to either take hours or possibly you wouldn’t get a text back at all.

6:55pm. eren: nah i’m not busy tn, should be able to stop by in 10. that cool ?

you swear your stomach sinks to your feet when you hear your phone ding. you knew it wasn’t any of your friends so maybe he wasn’t doing anything after all.

“odd” you thought to yourself that’s definitely the longest message he’s ever texted you before, it was never any longer than a quick “yeah” or “be there in 10”. wonder what’s gotten into him

texting him back a quick “sounds good” you go to sit on the couch waiting for the notification for you to come outside to his car.

7:10. still no eren. you knew this would happen. its never the time he says. god he’s so fucking stupid i’m done goi-

*DING DONG*

you nearly jump out of your seat. heart now pounding out of your chest as you walk up to the door confused as to who it could be since you definitely weren’t expecting anyone to knock.

opening the door you begin to notice a familiar face…eren.

why was he at your door ? the mere sight of him makes your stomach churn with seems like anger. never has he once showed up and knocked on your door.

why is your heart racing? …

“the front door ? that’s new” snarky comment making him laugh. you felt awkward. was he trying to invite himself in ? you had so many questions running thru your mind but you were assuming it was nothing

“felt like saving you the longg walk from here to my car” he says dragging out long with a dramatic voice throwing his head back and bending his knees

“surprised you’re not busy with all the ladies that are probably dying to rip your pants off” ignoring his stupid joke. your hand reaches out to grab what he actually came here for but you’re met with nothing, like he wants to stand here talking to you more.

“ gotta keep them on their toes, you know. can’t make it easy or else i would’ve had back to back dates tonight” you were done with conversation already. you just wanted to get your stuff, watch some stupid rom-com and eat a burger the size of your head. he was getting in the way with that.

“haha. can i just have my stuff?” clearly annoyed he hands you the small little baggie, as you’re about to say thank you and close to the door on his face. you notice he’s not moving at all. looking at you like a lost puppy dog that showed up at your door.

he was definitely trying to invite himself in but he didn’t know how. “if you want to come in you could just say so” attempting to be nice you give him a smile.

“it’s okay, i don’t wanna intrude especially if you have a date or something” you laugh at him, his face turning a red tone as if he said something wrong. god you feel bad.

“i’m not doing anything tonight hence why i asked you to come by but if you wanna hang for a bit be my guest” wishing you would’ve shut yourself up but it was too late to take it back. you couldn’t believe you invited him in. you’re stuck now.

no words were said as you took a step back swaying to the side to gesture him in. he seemed hesitant for a second, but he enters. taking a couple uncomfortable waddles in before stopping in his tracks to kinda get a vibe your living space

it was clean. tv turned on to a random show on netflix. couch covered with cute pillows and blankets, coffee table with weed paraphernalia neatly organized but he was more fascinated with the way you’re dressed. maroon sweatpants and grey zip up that had your high schools name on the front. no makeup. so effortlessly beautiful.

“come” patting the couch you usher him to sit next to you. opening the baggie of bud, crumbling off a piece to put in the bowl of your most precious bong. offering him the greens since he is a quest in your house.

“how sweet of you” he says giving you a over exaggerated smile making you softly hit him on the arm. it was weird having him right here. you realized you’ve never smoked with him before. you’ve never seen him in such a intimate setting. it made you feel some kind of way.

a couple hours past. you guys ended smoking and chatting as if you knew each other for years and were catching up. it felt nice even tho you were dead set on the plans you thought of originally like getting food. mmm food the munchies were starting to hit hard.

“you hungry ?” you said being so serious because there was no way you were messing around when it came to eating rn and by the look on his face he wasn’t either.

“god i thought you’d never ask” staring dead into each other yes, breaking out into a laughing fit. you both decided to make your way to the kitchen and see what there was to make. letting him do all the work of course.

you’re sat up on counter while he’s looking thru the cupboards. hoping he can find something good because at this point you don’t even remember what’s in there.

“ahh mac and cheese ?” he says excitedly holding up a box of probably soon to be expired mac and cheese. you nod in agreement pretending like you aren’t practically drooling at the thought of it.

he starts boiling the water. “why don’t you have plans tonight ? didn’t expect you to be a lonly guy” you interrupt the silence to ask the question you’ve been wondering this whole time.

“i’m not a whore like you think i am. i just sell weed to people and the flirting keeps them coming back” shocked by his answer you can’t say that’s not a solid strategy. he goes to drain the pasta before adding the rest of the stuff, handing you a bowl.

“you don’t flirt with me tho” blurting out your response, he turns towards you. looking you up and down, getting just close enough you could feel his breath on your face.

“you’re different” your face getting hotter by the second. not sure how to respond because you didn’t know if this was his tactic or genuine emotion.

“how so?” twiddling your finger together looking down a little embarrassed for asking.

“idk everyone treats me like im just some hot piece of meat that can get them their fix” he says looking down with you.“but you, you act cold towards me and i find that so hot ” you felt like you were gonna faint at his words.

“ i’ve always thought you were just an asshole with a pretty face” his cheeks turning a pale pink.

“pretty?” he inches closer to your face so you’re just inches away from touching each other lips. “yeah, so pretty it makes me mad” those were the last words said before his lips are crashing into yours.

unsure if it was the weed or the fact his lips felt so good but you kissed him back without realizing. lips moving in sync like they were made for each other.

feeling like you couldn’t catch your breath, you pull away catching a good look at his face, red and flustered. you’ve never seen anything like this before and you never wanted to forget it. pulling him by the neck to continue he picks you up walking you both over to the couch. putting you down softly. breaking the kiss.

“this okay?” he says with genuine concern on his face. hes scared. scared hes gonna mess this up.

“more than” huge smile forming on his lips, he maneuvers himself on top of you between your legs. kissing your neck making his way down to your stomach.

he unbottons your pants so plainly slow that you’re about to rip them off yourself. he kisses your pussy thru your underwear making you gasp at the sensation of his cold lips on you, mumbling a low “fuck” before bucking your hips begging for more.

“don’t be so impatient baby” the pet name making your stomach turn with lust. you had to have him. you need him now.

your bottom half now undressed he makes you wait even longer by licking and biting your plush thighs, making you squirm. “please eren”. you’ve never been so desperate especially for someone that you hated a couple hours ago.

his tongue laid its first lick down your slit. it was soft, gentle. unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, other guys were rough and thought flicking felt good. how’d he become so good you couldn’t shake that thought from your mind. were you jealous ?.

“it feels so good, please keep going” bitting your hand to hopefully quiet yourself down because you knew you were being too loud. his tongue felt like heaven, but when he slipped one of his long finger into you was when you lost your mind. there was no way you weren’t gonna start screaming his name.

“eren fuck i’m gonna cum” without any hesitation he curls his fingers up hitting a spot that made you see stars. back arching, strings of curse words fall from your mouth as you cum. you’re panting like a dog trying to regain yourself.

eren sits up wiping his face on the sleeve of his hoodie, rubbing your inner thighs till you’ve finally come back from your mind blowing orgasm.

“that was crazy” you said laughing but you heard nothing but silence from eren, he looked uncomfortable then glancing down a bit you could tell why. he was so hard that you could see him throbbing thru his pants.

“come here, let me help you” you say pushing his shoulders down till his head in laying on the arm of the couch. crawling on top of him you leaning down catching his lips once again, tasting yourself. this time the kiss was hungry. like two wild animals fighting over who was superior. you grind your hips against his clothed cock hissing at the overstimulation from cumming not too long ago.

his hands raising up under your shirt giving your nipples a couple rolls of his thumb. hiding your face in his neck, sucking here and there unknowingly leaving marks that you knew he’d get upset about later.

“do you mind?” you say playing with the zipper of his pants. he gives you a nod of consent before you’re pulling down his pants along with his boxers. it springs up as you stare at the size of his intimidatingly large cock.

“you like what you see” jokingly punching his chest you come back up so your pussy is alined with his cock, he motions you to sit up a bit and he angles the tip so it’s at your entrance, sliding down a bit it was already a huge stretch but you were determined to make it fit. both of you hissing in sync till it was fully in.

“it’s so tight” he moans grabbing your hips to slide you up and back down, slowly to not hurt you. the stretch felt so good you began to move on your own craving more of him. groans could be heard from both of you just enjoying the moment and the feeliing of being connected.

“oh im gonna cum” you whispered in his ear “im so close” you keep rocking up and down till his strong hands flip you both over so he’s on top, putting you in mating press.

“i’m close too, cum with me baby” his words thick like honey dripping its way into your ear. you pussy clenching hard trying to get that last bit of stimulation to tip over the edge.

knowing just what to do his hand snakes between you both to place a thumb on your clit. that’s exactly what you neeed before you’re moaning his name and squirming trying to get away as gush around his cock.

“you gonna let me cum in you ?” he’s panting hard but he can’t seem to focus on anything besides cumming your tight pussy.

“cum in me please” the neediness in you voice is all it takes for his hips to come to a halt as he’s pumping you full. you can feel his heart beating as he slumps down on your chest. the same awkwardness from before filling the air as you both come to your senses.

awkwardly get up putting your clothes back on, not saying a word to each other. you head to the bathroom to pee and return, sitting back on the couch packing another bowl and handing it to him. he takes a long hit. resulting in him coughing, he hands it back to you.

“guess valentine’s day wasn’t so boring this year” he manages the get out between coughs. slumping back on the couch looking at the tv watching whatever was playing.

“definitely wasn’t expecting this” your own joke making you laugh, catching his attention. eyes now on you. the silence was deadly but you didn’t have anything to say.

“i like you” he says quietly not sure if you heard him but he knows you did when he notices your face begin to burn firetruck red.

“when did you come to that conclusion?” interested in what he was gonna say because you’re sure it was an in the moment confession nothing he was feeling before today.

“ever since the first time i sold to you, you were beautiful and i never knew how to make the first move until today” your mouth hangs open because never in a million years would you have thought that the guy you despised had completely opposite feelings.

“i had no idea”

“i figured” he takes another hit from your bong before getting up grabbing his things and heading for the door “uh i gotta go, just hit me up next time you need anything”

“wait” you walk over to him, body moving for you confused as to why you got up before blurting out something you couldn’t take back.

“i like you too” coming to the conclusion that those were you feelings all along, not hatred or anger but love.

he smiles at you before leaning in to give you one last finally kiss before heading out the door.

#eren yeager smut #smut #aot #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger smut #tsumhal #aot smut #armin aot #aot x reader #eren smut #attack on titan smut

[bby-deerling]

I’ve come to make an announcement Trafalgar Law is a bitch ass motherfucker he imprinted on my fucking brother that’s right he took his Amber Lead blood and imprinted on my fucking brother and said his heart was this big and I said that’s disgusting so I’m making a call-out post on my transpondersnail.com. Trafalgar Law, you’ve got a small dick.  It’s the size of this walnut except way smaller.  And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like.  That’s right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong.  He ran off with the Op Op no Mi so guess what I’m gonna fuck Dressrosa.  Take this, this is what you get, my birdcage laser piss!  Except I’m not going to piss on the town, I’m going to go higher, I’m pissing on the island!  How do you like that Fujitora?  I caged in Dressrosa, you idiot!  You have 23 hours before the piss droplets close in on themselves.  Now get the fuck out of my sight before I piss on you too.

#cilles ramblings #shitpost #donquixote doflamingo #doflamingo #one piece shitpost #one piece #trafalgar law #eggman's announcement

[cat3ch1sm]

💚~ hi!! this is my first fic in so long, im so sorry for disappearing for almost two months ... idk I've been at a loss for motivation for a while. happy new years i guess😭. but it's a story based off of @a-hazbin-reader recent headcanons about alastor (first hazbin hotel writing!! exciting !!) i happened to come across it and immediately saw a fic idea finally. all credits to them and the person who requested the original writing (hope they see this too lololol) !!! also yes my anime writings will also return so yayy im officially back!!

heads up this is super long it's like 15 pages cause ya girl got a little carried away 😅 i hope you all enjoy and reqs are open for all!

🌲❦(๑˙❥˙๑)~ mentions of violence , abuse, bit of blood, alcohol, language, lewd language a little bit at the start, fem!reader

alastor x fem!reader

"Angel. Are you able to draw absolutely anything else?"

The aforementioned spider demon stared straight at Charlie with his brow arched and a shit-eating smirk on his lips. Beside his face he haughtily held up a sheet of paper with one of four hands, a drawing depicting nothing other than a giant penis.

"Nope." He popped the "p."

The hotel residents and employees, including Angel, Husk, Vaggie, Nifty, you, and Alastor were doing Charlie's usual scheduled feel-good activity. The devil's daughter had given out paper and pencils, gathered everyone in a circle and told everyone to draw something that made them happy. And of course Angel Dust, lewd as always, had spent a frankly concerning amount of time drawing the member currently on display on his paper.

Everyone just stared at the drawing in silence. Examining it while Angel continued to hold it up with not an ounce of shame on his face.

"Why is it... anatomically correct?" you finally questioned, tilting your head and squinting at the piece.

Vaggie, sitting beside her girlfriend, let out an exasperated groan, looking from the drawing to Angel with undisguised revulsion. "Angel Dust. First you drew pills, then you drew a liquor bottle, and for the last three goddamn turns we've given you, you've drawn a dick. Come on. Are you even trying-"

"Whadd'ya mean?" Angel asked innocently. "Charlie said to draw somethin' that makes me happy. Dicks make me happy. And as a worker here, you shouldn't be judgin' me," the porn star added smugly, making Vaggie let out an impatient growl.

Business as usual in the Hazbin Hotel.

"Well, I mean, you can't really say he didn't try," Husk deadpanned in a gravelly voice. "I mean, look at the vein-"

Ding dong!

"Oh, wow, hey, someone's at the door!" You'd never seen anyone move as fast as Charlie in that moment, and Vaggie was in close pursuit. In a split second, Nifty's tiny frame was flying after them both.

"Someone's at the door!" Nifty repeated in a high-pitched voice.

"Right. While they're distracted, I need a damn dick- fuck. Drink," Husk snapped, rising from his place on the floor. Angel immediately started laughing while Husk wasted no time lighting into him. "Shut up. You and your fucking anatomically correct dick got into my head," you could hear Husk snarl while Angel's taunting laughs never ceased as they headed off to the bar.

With those two gone, it was just you sitting in the circle, blinking. "Right," you murmured, standing up and dusting yourself off.

"Well, my dear? What did you draw?" came the oh-so-familiar drone of the Radio Demon's voice from the corner of the room. You couldn't help the smile that spread across your lips at the sound of it, and glanced up to see Alastor standing with his trusty mic stand, beckoning you to come closer. Of course, you obliged.

You scoffed a little, smile turned slightly sarcastic. "Well... I was going to draw you, but Angel suddenly became the Picasso of Penises and I didn't get around to it."

Alastor laughed good-naturedly, wrapping an arm around your waist and planting a gentle kiss on your head. "Ah, always the sentimental one, aren't you, my dear? Well, no matter. It's the thought that counts."

Your smile turned genuine again at his gesture and Alastor noticed. "There's that smile, sweetheart. Now, if you'd just keep it on your face at all times without fail, we could be quite the formidable pair."

You kissed your teeth with mock exasperation and lightly shoved Alastor away. "Oh, here you go again. And I thought we were having a moment. Alastor, my face just cannot stay like yours for that long-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Charlie came rushing back into the room, her sudden entrance startling you a little. She made her way up to you and Alastor. "Hey, um, Y/N? There's a woman at the door who says she's looking for you. She seems really upset."

Your face wrinkled in confusion. Someone looking for you? You weren't friends with anyone really outside the Hotel and those affiliated with it, so you had no clue who would be searching for you. You glanced at Charlie with a "What's going on?" look and with some reluctance pulled away from your boyfriend's grip to follow her.

As you neared the lobby, you heard a distressed-sounding voice in the door, and confusion growing you walked a little faster to the entrance. But before you could even register who the visitor was, she'd thrown her arms around you, fingernails digging painfully into your skin. But the stench of her familiar perfume wafting unwelcomed into your nose, into your mouth, smothering you and strangling you let you know the identity of this woman without even having to see her face.

You instantly stiffened, limbs suddenly like metal rods, not at all softening into her embrace. Your eyes went wide and you could feel your pulse speeding up.

"Mother?"

"My love! Oh, my precious girl!" she cried, pulling out of that suffocating hug for a moment to cup your cheeks in her cold hands, hands that no matter how gently they touched you their touch would always sting. She peered into your eyes with watery ones of her own, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I missed you so, my dear. This is where you've been hiding? I was so dreadfully worried!" Her eyes, always scrutinizing, ran up and down your figure in the way that made you want to tear the flesh from your bones.

"Oh, and I was worried you were starving somewhere. You were such a frail, skinny thing before on Earth. It's a great relief to see you've put some weight on your bones."

And the first stone was thrown.

"Mother." It was the only word you could seem to utter, fighting the urge to throw up, bile collecting in your throat. Her voice was like a slap to the face, and it was only your mother's grip that kept you from actually staggering backward. And how the others were just staring, awed, at the scene, Charlie's eyes sparkling with tears, Vaggie with a hand on her shoulder and a knowing smile, Angel and Husk watching contentedly from a distance, and Nifty clinging to Alastor who was smiling as usual. God, if you didn't vomit right fucking now, you'd be surprised. But you knew what they all saw in their clouded vision- a heartfelt reunion between mother and daughter. But really? It more closely resembled a predator at last capturing its prey.

You really couldn't hear what she was saying over the pounding in your head, but somehow you were in her arms again, and she was fawning and cooing over you like you were a child, showering you with kisses that burned like molten iron and rocking you back and forth. Always she loved to put on a show, loved being the center of attention.

It made you sick.

You managed to come out of your stupor long enough to shove your wailing mother away, unfazed by her crocodile tears. It was like waking up from a haze. She stumbled back slightly, and you backed away, your entire demeanor hardening. Your tone was flat when you spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

You apparently weren't doing that clean a job of masking your emotions, because the venom in your voice caught even you off guard. Your mother looked hurt- that act wasn't new to you, either- and your friends and partner surrounding you shot you disapproving and mildly disgusted looks that clearly wondered why you were being so cold to your own mother. You dropped your eyes to avoid the accusing stares, unable to slow your breathing and fighting the desire to lash out. Charlie looked bewildered and hurt, Angel Dust arched a brow, Husk appeared disapproving and Vaggie’s venomous expression said everything she wanted it to. How dare they look at you like you were the bad guy without knowing shit! She couldn't care less if you lived or died. She was here because she wanted something, and nothing more. Perhaps she heard about your role in the extermination of the Extermination and wanted a piece of the popularity you'd recently found yourself gaining. Or she came because she was probably destitute, the frivolous bitch, and wanted to suck up to either you or the powerful people you were now associated with. Whatever it was, you didn't care. You wanted her gone.

But it was clear she had no intention of leaving.

"All this time, and not one visit. And she never calls," your mother moaned in anguish, now addressing her new audience. "Perhaps I wouldn't have to track you down like a bloodhound if you would just come see your poor mother every once in a while." Her voice was overflowing with hurt and heartbreak you just could feel wasn't genuine. Before you knew it, she had broken down into sobs again, and you could only stand there stiffly, rage boiling, while the always empathetic Charlie moved to comfort the woman, rubbing her back soothingly while she sent Nifty off to get her tissues for her tears. The dirty look Vaggie shot you- "How cruel of you to do this to your innocent mother,” it said- sent heat rushing straight to your chest. Jesus fucking Christ, how could they fall for this shit? Your stomach twisted again, and this time you actually did nearly puke, suppressing a dry heave.

You did not pay any mind to your mother's display- you refused to give her the satisfaction. You turned in the opposite direction, arms folded, nails digging into your skin hard. You felt nothing seeing her cry but bitterness and icy detachment.

"I don't want to see you-"

"Well, now- who do we have here?"

Alastor appeared from the shadows with his sharp-toothed grin, glancing at you first and then your weeping mother. Before you could stifle it, a rush of hope surged through you- if anybody could get this infernal woman to leave, it would be Alastor. You turned towards him, hoping he would see how distressed you were- he was typically fairly perceptive when it came to you and your feelings. But alas, your mother caught his attention first, peering up at the Radio Demon standing over her with teary eyes and wet cheeks, a piteous expression on her face.

"The Radio Demon? Oh, well, a being like you mustn't worry about who I am. I'm just- a poor mother come to visit her daughter. But she... doesn't seem to want to see me." She sighed in a melancholy manner and slowly unburied her face from the tissue she'd been holding. "I suppose I will simply see myself out."

"Oh, nonsense. Y/N's mother, are you? I absolutely cannot allow you to remain on the streets. I insist that you stay." Alastor extended a hand out to your mother, his maniacal smile gone suspiciously gentle. It was disgustingly familiar; it was the smile he reserved normally just for you. "As... abrasive as your daughter may seem at the moment"- you felt him cast a look over at your back turned to him- "I'm sure she wouldn't want you suffering like this. Please, you're welcome to remain here."

You wanted to cry when he said this- could he really not see who this woman was? Did he really think you were just being testy? And when your mother took his hand and held it for much too long, you could take it no longer. And as everyone crowded your mother, showering her with welcomes and greetings and kindness, you pushed past everybody and walked straight out of the hotel doors, the last thing you saw being the tauntingly smug smirk on your mother's face before you slammed the doors behind you.

When you returned to the hotel, drunk, night had fallen. You hadn't seen any of your hotel mates since you'd left, and as far as you knew nobody went after you after your abrupt exit. Who the hell cared about that now, though? You'd talk to them about your deranged mother when you got inside, without her presence. Perhaps Alastor had just been being nice when he told her she could stay, and they hadn't actually been blind to why you were acting the way you were. Maybe they were just being supportive of a guest when they saw you acting out of the ordinary, knowing you usually were never snappy and stony, and still took her side. Maybe so.

You wished you hadn't had so much to drink.The pounding in your head was worse than when your mother had shown up earlier and your eyelids felt heavy. You had tripped a minimum of ten times on the way back and almost let two thugs take you in their car with them. You hated being drunk, but your mother you hated more.

With unsteady hands you pushed open the doors of the Hazbin Hotel, vision blurring a little. You weren't amazing with alcohol, and again, being drunk wasn't your favorite thing. But the moment you entered, you realized you weren't nearly drunk enough.

In the lobby sat your boyfriend, Alastor, enjoying a cup of tea with none other than your mother. The two were laughing together, which incensed you enough, but what made you wish you'd just blacked out at that bar was when you caught sight of your mother's hand on top of Alastor's as they shared a laugh over God knows what.

It didn't take long for the two to notice you in the doorway, a turbulent, unreadable expression on your face, standing as still as a statue as you took in the scene. Your mother turned to you and smiled, waving the hand with the cup of tea in it.

"Why, darling, we hadn't realized you left! Alastor is quite a charming gentleman. We were just having a moment." She slipped her hand from on top of his with a slightly mischievous smile.

Oh, she knew exactly what she was doing. You had no fucking clue how, but somehow your mother had discovered that Alastor and you were an item. She wasn't sitting here with anyone else but Alastor, drinking tea with him, laughing with him, holding his hand. And she was wearing makeup she hadn’t had on when she’d first come in the hotel- red painted on her lips, blush dotted on her cheeks and glitter on her eyelids in a display clearly meant to make an impression on Alastor and Alastor alone. It wouldn’t be the first time she'd gone after one of your partners, but it angered you no less- it was like the woman wanted to take your place somehow.

Alastor turned to you as well with a smile, but when he saw the look in your eyes, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. However, he made no comment at your slightly disheveled appearance and picked up his expression once more. 

“Why, hello, my dear. Your lovely mother was just telling me about her life before you,” Alastor enthused. “A lively woman she was! I’ve heard story after exciting story. Quite a wild one, indeed- rather unlike you, sweetheart.”

You gave Alastor what could only be described as what is called ‘the thousand-yard stare,’ expression flat, not knowing really what to say to that. Despite the fact that you were in a bit of a daze still, either from the alcohol or the fact that your mother was on a date with your boyfriend, the haughty, self-superior expression on your mother’s face was not lost on you. Nor were the cow eyes she was giving him, or how when Alastor reached for the teapot to refill his cup her hand was conveniently already on the dish, lingering beneath his for what felt like hours.

She turned to Alastor, looking up at him with that sickly sweet, beaming grin of hers that she always plastered on her face when she was really about to lay it on. “I’m still wild if you ever care to find out,” she purred, batting her lashes at Alastor with an unmistakable air of seduction. 

Before you could even register it, you heard yourself saying, “Get out.”

Both your mother and Alastor turned to face you, your mother’s face having dropped and Alastor’s eyes piercing into yours. 

“What?” your mother asked, looking at you with wide, glassy eyes. You truly saw red for a moment, knowing damn well those tears were as false as Angel’s lashes, and the twitching in your muscles to just lash out was almost painfully difficult to stifle. Alastor’s smile wavered a little as his eyes darted from you to your blubbering mother, who had already started her shit.

You advanced forward, your stride making your mother jump and Alastor stand, and without hesitation tore her hand from Alastor’s, yanking her arm with force that momentarily startled even you. She was pulled from her chair and forced to stand up. 

Her voice full of anguish, she pleaded, “Baby girl, what did I do wrong?” However, unmoved by her over-the-top performance, you’d already started dragging her out, not bothering to respond to her or explain why you were throwing her out. She already knew; you could see past the tears and wails and her struggles to pull away from you. Fueled by fury, distress and the afterbuzz of the alcohol, you hauled your protesting mother out of the hotel, pitilessly leaving her outside in the dark, and forcefully slammed the doors behind her. There were muffled screams of your name coming from the other side, her fists pounding on the door, but after a bit they faded away.

The moment she was gone you instantly felt as if a weight had been lifted off of your chest, slumping against the door with a breath of exertion and relief. But that relief quickly dissipated when you locked eyes with Alastor, who was advancing on you, his smile obviously strained. The way he spat your name at you made you shrink back slightly, realizing that he was actually not pleased.

“You cannot just throw your own mother out like that. Into the streets? My dear, that is no way to treat your mother. And frankly, it’s rude.”

You felt anger rising once more, but you didn’t want to start anything with Alastor despite the fact that he had no idea what he was talking about. Of course it looked simply like bad etiquette from his standpoint; he had no idea who your mother was. And somehow you didn’t feel it was proper to tell him- you knew how much he valued his own mother and mothers in general, and as sweet as you had always thought that was, you knew he and his rosy view of maternal relationships wouldn’t understand and perhaps not allow for your turbulent relationship with your own mother. And you didn’t want to be the one to tarnish his otherwise endearing perspective by explaining how abhorrent of a person your mother was. So despite how much you just wanted to scream at him, to tell him he had no clue what was really going on, you kept your composure, inhaling shakily.

“Alastor, please. You- you don’t know what you’re talking about. So just stay out of it, alright?”

“She’s your mother, not the devil, dear.” Alastor’s tone was back to normal, and he was speaking in his usual radio voice as if he was talking to just anyone, and it made your stomach churn. 

“She’s not innocent, Alastor, she’s in Hell-”

“Ah, but so are you and I, sweetheart.”

Your face crumpled, and you found yourself coming up short for a rebuttal. Before you could stop them, tears started to well in your eyes, frustrated that you couldn’t get through to him. Out of spite and pride, you blinked them back harshly. Alastor tilted his head and started to come towards you, his mic stand clacking on the ground as he walked, and for a moment you felt a glimmer of hope, thinking that he truly wanted to talk and get to the bottom of your animosity towards your mother. 

But the Radio Demon breezed right past you and, before you could stop him, opened the door, and your mother whom you’d thought had given up at last and left waltzed right back in, suddenly no longer the aggrieved mother you’d thrown out and back to beaming a mile a minute. The self-assured smirk she sent your way had your blood boiling with rage, and you felt powerless to act. You wanted to slap that smirk off of her face, but why wouldn’t she smirk? She had Alastor exactly where she wanted him, and both of you knew it. 

“I apologize sincerely for the earlier… incident,” Alastor told your mother with a note olf sympathy in his voice, and again he took her hand; you had to tear your eyes away, back to the scene.

“Aren’t you charming!” your mother exclaimed, voice pleasant and upbeat. ‘Don’t even think of it, I’ve already forgotten.”

“You’re too kind, miss. But in order to make up for it, I’d like to offer you to spend the night. I would hate to send a lovely woman such as yourself out on the streets of Hell after sundown. I implore you.”

Fucking Christ. You didn’t even have to see her to know the way she was grinning at you. Your shoulders tensed, rising to your ears, and the tears burned hot in your eyes. Not wanting to give her the satisfaction, you bit your inner cheek hard enough to draw blood so as to not make the slightest sound alerting her to your tears.

“What a kind invitation. It’s nice to know at least somebody wants me here.” An icy silence from you. “It’d be rather rude not to accept; I would be happy to spend the night.”

“Lovely!” Alastor praised. 

You couldn’t take any more. Unable to stifle your sobs, hot tears falling down your cheeks, you tossed back a cracked “I’m going to bed,” and stormed out of the lobby with your head down, rushing upstairs as fast as you could and ignoring Alastor’s calls of your name. Just as you slammed the door to your room, you heard your mother say, “Oh, don’t worry about her. Let her cool off for a bit, and then I’ll go after her. A mother always knows how to cheer up her child.”

It was quiet now. Hours ago Angel Dust had returned from his work and Charlie and Vaggie had locked up for the night. Nifty had been, though with much effort, put to bed by Husk who had then closed up the bar and retired himself. You didn’t know where your mother or Alastor were, and you didn’t want to. 

You were the only one up now, and you had finally run out of tears. Your head was stuffy, your eyes were sore and bloodshot, and you could feel the beginnings of a hangover coming on. It felt like days you’d spent just crying in your bed, unable to suppress the emotion you’d felt since your mother reappeared that morning. Charlie had actually come to check on you earlier, worried, along with Vaggie, but Alastor had told them to let you be for now. You’d heard their muffled conversation from outside your door.

You just wished Alastor would understand, that they all would understand. Your mother wasn’t a mother. She didn’t nurture, she didn’t love, all she did was belittle you, bully you, and take from you. Yet never once had you been able to figure out what you’d ever done to her. You had tried so hard to help and to please her as a living child, then teenager, then adult- tending to your siblings when she was out on the town, working multiple jobs to take care of the house while she spent the day blackout drunk and the nights in the city, and still desperately believing she would change, you sent her portions of your salary when you grew older and begged her to utilize the money, but she always blew it on material shit. And as if it wasn’t enough that you had to be the mother to yourself and your siblings, she beat you too, mostly when she was drunk but sometimes you felt it was just for her amusement or to make you feel small and worthless. As a teenager she did nothing but sabotage you- you couldn’t ever have friends over because she was always passed out on the couch or acting erratic and stinking of cheap liquor, and you had to fight like hell to get your siblings out of there after you left home for school. And yet you had still had hope for her.

That all changed when you came to Hell. It was the end of the road for real now, and you figured there was no point trying to reconcile with your mother anymore. So you’d left her in the past, thinking it was over, finally allowing yourself a little peace. But you hadn’t realized the extent of the resent you’d been harboring until she showed up at the doorstep of the Hazbin Hotel. All those feelings just came rushing back.

Another hour or so passed and your swollen eyes were dried out and heavy-lidded. Exhausted from fretting about your mother and regretting the amount you'd had to drink, you turned over in your bed with a stifled groan and closed your eyes, hoping that sleep would finally find you and you could escape the events of the day at least for a little while. But just as you were drifting off, you were startled by the sound of your bedroom door opening.

You let out a moan that was half confusion and half sleepiness, and rolled over just a little to glance at the door through hazy eyes. “Alastor?” you mumbled questioningly, rubbing your eyes groggily.

But the voice that responded woke you right up.

“Not a chance, pet.”

You sat up instantly, knocking the bedcovers off. In the doorway, a shadowy silhouette in the dimly lit hallway, was your mother. A discordant note of exasperation sounded in your head; the woman couldn't let you be even at this hour? For the moment at least, you were more mildly annoyed than pissed like you were earlier, just wondering what in the hell she could possibly want now.

“Why are you even-”

You cut yourself off and immediately jumped out of the bed just as your mother lunged at you like a pouncing tigress; you'd sensed the attack in the way she had been moving and acted accordingly before she could maul you. It didn't mean it didn't still catch you off guard, though.

Your voice rising, you snapped, “What the hell are you-”

Again you were interrupted when she sprung off the bed and snatched your wrists in her iron grip before you could dodge again; her clasp was tight and bruising and you winced painfully. You caught a glimpse of her eyes in the faint light, and they were inflamed, wild with fury she'd probably been suppressing this whole time. It wasn't a new expression.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” she snarled, voice trembling with fury. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you demanded, tearing your wrists from her grasp and moving a distance away from her so she was on one side of the bed and you were on the other. By the bewildered look on her face, she was clearly not expecting you to break away so effortlessly; maybe thinking she could just abuse you like she did when you were a defenseless child.

Like hell.

“What the hell are you even mad at me for?”

Your mother, seething, launched more accusations at you. “You think you're better than me, now, is it? Saw your sorry ass on the news after that damn Extermination rebellion. Bet it took your ego up a few notches killing those Exorcists, huh? And now that you're in some fancy hotel, dating some powerful boytoy and hiding behind hell's princess, you think you can just get rid of me?”

“Apparently fucking not, because here you are. And I'm not hiding. I'm trying to get away from you.”

Your mother let out a bitter, droll laugh. “Oh, you think that's how this works?” she hissed in an icy manner, and even though you were already a good distance away you backed up further still. “Think again, whore. I'm the one who deserves to be here, not some ungrateful little cunt who just happened to fall out of me. If I have to live destitute in the back alleys of Hell, so do you.”

The heartless insults and vulgarities she hurled your way would have shattered the living version of you. But it was about time your mother learned that you were no longer the pleading daughter you’d been on Earth, and instead of piercing your heart the names merely bounced off of you.

“You might recall I spent my whole damn life trying to help you,” you answered with equal coldness. “And for nothing, too, because here the hell we both are. Don't blame me because you turned out to be the nothing you always were.”

Without warning, she lunged at you, rushing forward like a charging bull, and though you tried to dodge she managed to snatch a handful of your hair and slam your head into the wall. You let out a cry of shock and pain and spots exploded in front of your vision before you reached up, tore her hand from your head and shoved her forward. You advanced again, teeth bared and fists balled, unwilling to let her get up- but before you could swing, there was a crackle in the air- and what followed was a cacophony of static, crackling, and microphone feedback that would've deafened an elephant. But the sound wasn't new to you, and you weren't surprised in the least when you lifted your eyes to see Alastor, smile maniacal and glowing red eyes wild as he entered the room. The sudden explosion of sound made your mother flinch and clap her hands over her ears, and seeing your opening, you kicked her to the ground; her head hit the wall rather roughly and she lost consciousness, her body going limp. You were breathing heavily, staring at her body sprawled on the ground without pity.

Alastor's eyes lost their luminescence and his smile softened; and he came over to you, attempting to touch you, but you shied away. You weren't necessarily ready to forgive him; if he'd just done a little more pushing and hadn't invited your mother here with you, this could have been avoided. You dropped your eyes to the floor.

“I'm sorry, my dear,” Alastor offered in a voice that was sufficiently staticky. “I wasn't too kind to you today.”

You wanted to say, no shit, but held your tongue, back to him still. Feelings of resent still swirled within you, but admittedly, hearing his apology did make them dissipate a little.

“Why is it you didn't simply tell me she was like this?”

Now you were silent not out of spite but more because…you simply didn't know what to say? Where were you to even begin? How would you explain that you didn't want to somehow tarnish his view of mothers by explaining your history with your own? And that you didn't want him to feel guilty about having a good relationship with his mother while yours was knocked out on the floor in front of you? And that you didn't want him to lose his love of mothers because you were unfortunate enough to have a shitty one? 

Somehow you managed to splutter all of that into something coherent, because Alastor gathered you in his arms without waiting for your approval, which you didn't mind, finally feeling somewhat okay since your mother had first shown up. You felt his hands in your hair, taming the out of place strands, and he lifted your wrists to his eyes, tutting in disapproval when he saw the bruises beginning to form. He settled for wordlessly kissing the deepening marks gently, but when he spotted the gash on your head where your mother had slammed you into the wall, his smile turned positively venomous. His head did a full 180 on his neck, which always made you cringe, to glare at your groggily awakening mother, who froze in her position on the floor when she caught his alarming gaze.

Alastor turned back to you, static popping in the air, and his smile grew- if that was even possible. “Well, sweetheart? What would you like me to do with her?”

You were frankly tired now of fighting your mother, who had staggered from the ground, rage still evident in her visage but with Alastor present she wasn’t about to act. So with a weary sigh, slumping into Alastor’s chest, you muttered, “I just want her gone.”

“Anything you wish.” And within the next few minutes, Alastor had summoned Nifty, who was more than eager to take out the trash, and had the tiny janitor drag your mother from your room by her hair. You lost sight of the two after they left, but by the way Nifty was giggling the entire time she was hauling your mother, you had a feeling the next several hours wouldn’t be too enjoyable for her.

You’d been on edge the whole day, but you didn’t quite realize the sheer amount of tension your mother’s presence had placed on you until it was only you and Alastor inside the room. His hand traced soothing circles around your back, and you finally felt like you could breathe.

The morning, after what seemed like centuries, finally did arrive. You were already up although day had barely broken, and that was because the earlier commotion had disturbed the hotel residents and they had literally gotten you and Alastor (who had evidently felt bad enough to spend the rest of the night with you, which he didn’t often do for posterity reasons, kissing the side of your head where it was wounded and apologizing once more) up out of bed to barrage you both with an onslaught of questions (and Nifty remaining suspiciously silent save the occasional maniacal giggle). With some reluctance you gave the group a brief explanation of everything that had gone down, Alastor standing beside you with a protective hand on your shoulder. Long story short, everyone basically grasped that they’d fucked up by allowing your mother in and judging you harshly about it, and before long Charlie was in tears and begging for you to forgive her, Vaggie had admitted her remorse over it, Angel Dust was shifty-eyed and sheepish, and Husk apologized to you formally. You dismissed the apologies with a grateful look, and that seemed to satisfy them all except Charlie, who you had to tell straight out you truly did forgive her at least five times and that only set her off bawling again to the point Vaggie had to carry the girl out.

Alastor, although one couldn’t tell by his face, apparently did feel guilty about his involvement in the whole fiasco because he took you out for breakfast and spent the rest of the day with you, and by the time night fell once more your cheeks hurt from smiling so much and your spirits were significantly lifted. It wasn’t until the two of you were in bed together (again, your lucky day, you didn’t even have to convince him) that he broke the long, contented silence you two had been sharing to inform you curtly:

“You didn’t ruin my opinion of mothers, you know.”

You sat up at this, eyes wide with hope and relief. He rose along with you to meet your gaze.

“I didn’t?”

“Oh, no. My dear, I love my own mother dearly, but don’t think I’m not aware that others may not have the same relationship with their own mothers. I did admire your resilience, though, and though it really wasn’t necessary, I do appreciate your attempt to spare my feelings. If I do say so myself”- his hand came to rest on your lower belly- “you seem like you’d make quite a stellar mother yourself.”

“Alastor.”

“Merely a thought.”

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #hazbin angel dust #alastor #alastor x reader #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel headcanons #vivziepop #vaggie #vaggie hazbin hotel #Reader x alastor #alastor x female reader

[propaganda-inc]

I've come to make an announcement:

General Lee's a bitch-ass motherfucker.

He pissed on my fucking Union. That's right. He took his traitor fuckin' Confederate dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING Union, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting.

So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. General Lee, you got a small dick. It's the size of this state except WAY smaller

.

And guess what? HERE'S WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE:

That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my Union so guess what, I'm gonna fuck Virginia. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Virginia .

I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the SOUTH!

How do you like that, JEFFERSON DAVIS? I PISSED ON THE SOUTH YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit FUCKING VIRGINA, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

#general sherman i think #idk how the Civil War went #shermanposting #r/196 #shitpost #rule #now this is propaganda #propaganda

[bigbangclappin]

Baby Daddy Gangster 2

Summary: Ding Dong! Your baby daddy is back and wants in your life and your daughter’s. And with that smile you might as well shove the door wide open.

Paring: Nakamoto YutaXReader(1st Person POV!)

Warnings: Cursing! Baby Daddy themes, mentions of smut, toxic relationships, Mafia/Yakuza themes (It’s not glamorous in real life folks!) 

Word Count: 2,382

A/N: GUYS IT'S FINALLY HERE! PART TWO! I hope it's enjoyable! I loved writing it! Let me know if we want a part three!

Tag List: @iveivory @champagne-n-yachts @dilfjohhny @junglewoos

Part one

Unknown number: Is Yuki wearing a 3T or a 4T?

You: Who is this?

Unknown number: Really baby?

I shook my head in exasperation, throwing my phone into my back pocket.  The man was relentless to say the least, he did earn that title fair and square. 

What could I have possibly been thinking back then? 

Clearly sexual gratification was worth more to me than my hypothetical child’s future, because now here I am. Stuck with a gangster for a baby daddy who didn’t understand the phrase get lost. 

I shrugged my shoulders, well there was nothing I could do to change who Yuki’s dad is now. I just had to live with the consequences of my actions. 

Which wasn't all that bad considering my daughter was healthy and happy, I grinned as she played with her dolls on the floor. She did resemble her father, with her pretty smile and expressive eyes, she received all the best qualities of Yuta it seemed.

“Mommy?” Her sweet little voice asked from where she sat on the floor.

“Hmm?”

“Guess what?”

I giggled because she loved to play guessing games ever since she could speak in almost full sentences. I never had the heart to discourage her playful chatter despite her daycare teacher’s warning about how it was becoming disruptive in class. 

“What?” I replied casually, taking a sip from my drink.

“I met Daddy today.”

My entire mouthful of beverage was spewed across the room and on to my daughter who whines. 

“Mommy ew!” She cried, wiping her little arms in disgust.

“Oh Yuki I’m so sorry sugar,” I snagged some paper towels from the kitchen and began cleaning her off. 

“But what did you mean by you met Daddy?” I asked keeping my tone as even as possible. “You don’t have a Daddy, remember?”

She shook her head defiantly, her dark hair flying every which way, “I do have a Daddy mommy! And he’s pretty! And look he gived me a present!!”

My heart was racing as she flew to her small panda backpack. She rummaged through it for a moment before wobbling her way back to me with something in her tiny hand. 

When the gold glinted in the light I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, he really went behind my back. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I shouldn’t have felt hurt either. Yuta was resourceful and clearly he used those resources to his advantage to find Yuki’s school.

The tiger bracelet in my daughter’s hand mocked me; after everything I had done to keep that God damned insignia out of her life he literally just dropped it in her hand like nothing. 

Once a fucking bastard always a bastard. 

It took all I had in me to not snatch the piece of gaudy jewelry out of Yuki’s hand and melt it in my fireplace. I took a very, long and deep breath in. 

“Yuki, how did you get this?” 

“I told you Mama,” She exasperated, “Daddy gived it to me”

“It’s gave love,” I corrected, “Where did he give it to you?”

 She put her finger to her lips in thought, “Mr. Lee tooked us outside to play and dis really big car was dere. Den a big scary man got out, he was not nice Mommy, but den Daddy got out and yelled my name–”

“Yuki, that's dangerous, we've talked about not speaking to strangers!” I scolded her, literally stunned. My daughter was so trusting she basically ran into her father’s arms without question. 

She recoiled at my tone and began playing with the little trinket on the bracelet out of nervousness, “But Daddy isn’t a stranger…”

I didn’t mean to scoff at my child but she had never met her father once, I know Yuki was sweet and that she was young but I couldn’t understand why she went against what I taught her for a man who is a complete stranger to her. 

“Yuki,” I sighed, “You don’t have a daddy Sugar.”

Her cheeks turned red with a huff, “I do too!”

I put a hand to my forehead ready to end the man I had loved for most of my life. This is exactly why I wanted to keep him out of her life. 

“Where was Mr. Lee?” I decided to change my questioning to keep her from getting any more upset.

“He came over after Daddy gived-gave me my present.” 

“Did he say anything to…Daddy?” I literally had to swallow the bile rising in my throat.

It took Yuki a moment to respond before she said, “Mr. Lee picked me up and asked Daddy who he was.”

“Anything else?” I pushed knowing it was a little unfair to expect her to remember everything the men said or did but my three year old was my only witness.

“Ummmm yeah!” she said excitedly, “Daddy asked Mr. Lee why are you holding my daughter? And then Mr. Lee said dat I don’t have a daddy. But den Daddy showed Mr. Lee a piece of paper and Daddy told me that he would see me and mommy later and got in the big car again. ”

Oh Jesus Christ. He never changes. Over possessive asshole and what the hell did he show Yuki’s teacher? Such a jerk off move to use my kid as a way to exert some weirdo caveman claim on me. 

This was a mess I did not agree to and it was stressing me out. I had no immediate fix to remedy Yuta throwing himself into Yuki’s life. I didn’t even have a clue on where to begin to unravel everything my baby daddy put into her head.

“Thanks baby,” I patted her head, “Go wash your hands, dinner is almost ready.”

“Okay mommy.” she scooted off as I made off for the kitchen.

I never quite made it there because there was a knock on the front door. I sighed I didn’t want to deal with any door-to-door missionaries or salesmen. I went to check the peephole and saw my worst nightmare standing there.

Looking more delicious than the last time I had seen him. Tight ass tshirt hugging his pecs and abs. His organization’s tattoos were covered by the jacket he wore all but the ones on his neck. That same damn tiger he gave to Yuki was peeking over his shirt collar like a damn slap to my face.

Against my better judgment I opened the door. I had a bone to pick with him about going behind my back.

“So you’re a stalker now?” I asked with a strong bite.

He flashed his panty dropping smile at me as he smashed the cigarette he was smoking out under his fancy loafers.

“Only for you baby,” he poked at me with that cheeky tone, “And of course our beautiful Yuki.”

I frowned in anger instantly, “You had no right to go to her school Yuta.”

He tsked, “Why not? Because you said so? Last time I checked I never signed over my parental rights.”

“Are you serious right now?” I gasped in shock, “You abandoned us not an hour after she took her first breath! You never came out of the shadows to do anything with her! As far as I am concerned you did sign off on any kind of rights or relationship.”

His cheeks flushed red which meant he was starting to lose his temper. A real shocker.

“You have no idea the threats I was facing at work, I abandoned our family so that you and our daughter wouldn’t get hurt or worse.”

“Why weren’t you honest with me then? I would’ve understood if it came down to her safety—”

“You’re full of it babe you gave me a hard time whenever I uttered a single word about the family. If I had told you the truth at the time you would’ve ran and I would have never been able to keep tabs on you and Yuki like I’ve been able to since she was born. At least this way I could be with you during your pregnancy and keep you both safe even if that meant I couldn’t be with you after you gave birth to her.”

My head was spinning and I felt like I was being gaslighted, “When I told you I was pregnant you told me to get an abortion.”

He let out a hum, “And when you slapped me across my face that was the end of it. I knew how serious you were about wanting her. I never said another word about it.”

“You’re literally insane…” I mumbled running an entirely confused hand through my hair.

“No doubt about that babe you knew that when we got together back in school. Now that we’ve cleared the air may I please come in and see our daughter? I brought gifts…and since you chose to be petty and ignore me about what size she is I also brought gift receipts.”

I finally noticed the large men standing off to the side with armfuls of gift bags, large, small, medium, mostly girly in prints and pinks. Oh my god he’s bribing my kid, he’s seriously bribing my daughter. 

“Yuta do you realize how confusing this must be for her? Like you were nonexistent in her three years of life and just want to pop in with presents and pretend like you were always there? That’s not fair to her, just because you’re her biological father doesn't automatically mean you have a relationship with her. And while we’re on the subject, what the hell did you show to Mark?”

Yuta ticked his jaw to the side and licked his lips; he was angry for sure.

“Who the fuck is Mark?” He snapped at me some of his cool demeanor flying out the window. 

Jealous. Again. Over someone who watches Yuki. Utterly ridiculous.

“Yuki’s teacher, remember?” I bit back, “You shoved something in his face, what was it?”

“Her fucking birth certificate,” he said with a clenched jaw, “So you’re on a first name basis with all of her teachers then?”

“Nakamoto Yuta,” I spat, “Enough with your petty jealousy it’s irritating and irrational and also unwarranted.”

“Apparently it isn’t if you’re on a first name basis with her teacher.”

I was 1000% over his childish attitude. This wasn’t the first time we argued over his tendency to get jealous. 

“Have a lovely evening Yuta,” I started to close the door but one of the beefy men blocked me from slamming it in my baby daddy’s face.

Yuta snapped at the man in Japanese but looked back to me, “Let me in to see our daughter (Y/n).”

“I didn’t bow to you three years ago and I’m certainly not doing it now,” I growled at him, “You can’t snap your fingers and expect me to jump for you like a dog.”

He ran a hand through his dark shaggy hair in anger, “I expect you to let me have a relationship with our daughter.”

I folded my arms across my chest in means of frustration and protection, “What’s your endgame here Yuta?”

“There’s no endgame here (Y/n) but wanting a relationship with Yuki.”  

“Why now though Yuta?” I questioned him with my head tilted.

He opened his mouth to answer when a small cry came from behind me. “Daddy!”

I blocked my daughter’s view by placing my legs in front of the small slot made by the door, “Look what you’ve done. How am I supposed to explain to her that you left when you inevitably leave again?”

The look on his face was a mixture of anger and hurt with his jaw clenched he said, “What I did to keep you and Yuki safe should not be what you hold against me (Y/n), I’ve done a lot of things to warrant your resentment but this is not one of them I promise. You chose me too, you know? It takes two people to have a baby.”

“It’s not my fault the condom broke Yuta…” I growled quietly and my eyes shifted toward my elderly neighbor who was out walking her Poodle. Apparently I wasn’t quiet enough since she gave us an affronted look on her way by.

“It’s your fault you weren’t taking the pill babe,” he said just as angry, “We can point fingers all we want but it’s a little late for the blame game don’t you think? All I want is to see our daughter. Regardless of our past, Yuki has the right to a father.”

My daughter began swatting my legs so she could get to Yuta, “Mommy I wanna see Daddy. Move please!”

I scoffed at how rude my daughter was, “Yuki, that's not how we ask to get by, telling someone to move is impolite.”

“Sorry Mommy but Daddy’s here!”

“Sugar I’ve already told you that you do not have a–”

“(Y/n) don’t you dare finish that sentence. You’re the one that’s going to confuse her. Come here my baby girl, I brought you something!”

My blood boiled as I watched my baby daddy pick my little girl up and kiss her cheek while letting her peek into one of the large gift bags. I couldn’t resist the little smile that poked through at her excited squeal, her happiness was contagious.

My stomach may have done a flip when I noticed the soft look on my ex’s face as he helped Yuki rifle through the clothes he had bought her. It was probably just wishful thinking on my part, but seeing him hold my child just felt natural.

I awkwardly made eye contact with another neighbor who lived across the way and even with the distance I could see the judgmental look on his face. I sighed, finally relenting to let the men in. I didn’t want anyone to report me to the landlord on suspicious activity.

I pushed the door aside and motioned to Yuta, “Come inside, people are staring.”

He gave me that gorgeous smile that got me pregnant in the first place, “Thanks baby.”

As I allowed his guards inside I knew I was going to live to regret my decision but what could one visit hurt?

A lot.

It could hurt a lot.

#nakamoto yuta #yuta nct127 #kpop scenarios #bigbangclappin #nakamoto yuta angst #nakamoto yuta smut #nakamoto yuta imagine #nakamoto yuta mafia au #nct mafia au #yakuza au #nct 127 angst #nct au #nct gang au #nct 127 au #kpop angst

[billthedrake]

MVP PRIZE (PART TWO)

Note: More water sports content follows.

Kevin Fielding's thick meat had softened some but the sight of his quarterback naked and erect, kneeling await for him on the wrestling-style mat laid out on his office floor, had him getting hard again. This is what a longer session with Brock Mullins was often like, hardons coming and going as the two men extended the sex.

Brock's eyes were hungry as they took in his coach's naked, damp body.

"Remind me to win a championship game more often," the jock quipped, coating his big hard dong with lube in slow steady strokes up and down.

Kevin's eyes went to a jar of coconut oil that he kept in his desk. Both men liked how the extra slickness that kept Brock in the saddle for longer. And Coach Fielding just enjoyed the greasy-slick look that somehow made the quarterback's endowment look even bigger, meatier.

"Fraid that's the last one... for college at least," the man said as he knelt down and scooted up to the player, the kneeling position making their height difference not quite as big. They kissed hungrily now.

"Hope you don't need a lot of foreplay, Coach," Brock hissed, pulling back and leaning down to scoop out some more semi-solid oil from the jar. It melted in his fingers as he reached back and leaned into reach the man's ass. "I'm so fucking horny."

"Ya got plenty of foreplay just now, Mullins. In liquid form." Fielding grunted, turning around to give Brock access. The kid had actually taken some coaching in this part of topping. The preparation, the timing, the ability to read his bottom. But Brock's fingers had now mastered the slow-fast one-two punch. Just enough seductiveness and just enough aggressiveness. Those long QB digits greased up the perimeter of Fielding's pucker then worked their way inside the man. It had been two weeks since his last shafting, courtesy of Brock, and his hole had just the right amount of give now.

Kevin hated this part of himself. The way he acted like a nympho bitch in Mullin's hands. The piss had just added to that feeling, and the way both were keyed up. Coach arched his back into Brock's smoother, muscular chest and felt that hand dig in deeper, three fingers now sawing in and out.

"Thanks for being there this year, Coach," Mullins whispered in Kevin's ear, licking the lobe softly between words. "Sexually," he added with a soft growl.

"Yah," Coach replied. He and Brock had talked about how they definitely weren't having a relationship. And they weren't. Maybe Mullins was always gonna put football before a real relationship. Coach imagined himself finding a more mutual relationship, being more of a top, even. That wasn't gonna happen with Mullins around.

Those fingers slid back out and Kevin felt a quick greasy slap on his hairy ass. "On your back, Coach," Brock hissed.

Kevin nodded. He was glad. Brock's favorite position was doggy, but the Coach really craved to see his player's face. Turns out the player was on the same wavelength.

Brock wasn't kidding, there wasn't going to be any foreplay. As soon as Fielding pulled his thighs back, the QB lined up and pushed in. "Too much, Coach?" he asked, concerned.

Fielding shook his head no. "Guess you got me worked up."

Brock smiled. "You like my piss don't ya?" he asked. Turned on to be even saying this out loud.

"God help me, kid," Coach replied. "I do."

Brock leveraged his hips up to push more of his dong inside. It was tight but not resisting. "I got more for you later, Coach... when my hardon goes down."

The man blushed hard. And his prick jerked off his hairy belly.

The long QB shaft entering him deeply only contributed to his aroused state. Brock paused, that prick head tapping at Fielding's inner ring. "Gonna let me in, Coach?"

"Jesus," Kevin grunted, pulling his legs further back and nodding up at Brock. Golden Boy incarnate, hot stud on the cusp of mega stardom. He'd be gone and Fielding would still be here, earning a lot of money and enjoying the recruiting boost that the title would bring. But none of the new recruits would be Brock Mullins.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Mullins was having fun teasing Fielding's inner tightness now, a smirk on his face. When they first started fooling around Coach thought a dick this big was too much to take. And for a while it was, until both top and bottom found a way to make it happen. Now Kevin Fielding learned how to do a deep clean and learned to love that deeper breaching.

"FUCK!" the man now cried in excitement as Mullins broke through. Whatever NFL player, coach, or agent was next in Mullin's sights was gonna get majorly cocked for sure.

"Yeah, Coach, take it," Brock hissed, the lust reappearing on his face as he started fucking. Normally the men liked a longer, slower session, but the watersports had worked the jock up into a heated state. Athletically, he pounded Fielding in long deep thrusts. "Take my fucking cock."

"Yes," Kevin growled, looking up into the kid's eyes. This is when his hesitation about being Brock Mullins' bitch went away. This was wild hot, sex, making Kevin's toes curl and his dick jerk and leak, untouched.

Brock had never felt a fuck like this. His bladder was full, unpleasantly full even as all that water had gone through his body. But he wanted to cum bad. Even with the slick coconut oil on his dong and greasing up coach's cunt, his fuse getting even shorter. The athlete fucked faster, eager to get his orgasm, almost solely so he could piss again.

"Yeah, go for it, buddy," Kevin urged. He loved watching Mullins orgasm. And once the jock busted, Kevin would stroke off for his own completion. For now, he held his legs tightly back and watched the young stud go for it.

Brock's face grew redder, almost pained. "AARgh," he cried. And then Coach Fielding watched, rapt and amazed as Brock pulled all the way out on the outstroke, that ten inch monster quivering and giving one solid jerk before the pissslit opened up.

It took Kevin a second to realize that Brock wasn't cumming. The spray was heavy and warm and liquid as Brock's piss soaked his whole upper body.

Brock let out a sigh of pleasurable relief and watched his urine fly, until he reached down to stop the flow. "Sorry, Coach," he grunted. "I couldn't stop that if I tried."

Kevin looked around. He was in a pool of Brock's piss, but it was clearer, more watery this time. It would be a mess to clean up, for sure, but the man felt alive and rock hard. "Glad you didn't, Mullins," the coach admitted with a blush.

"Yeah?" Brock asked, still unable to believe how much Fielding seemed into this. With a cocky grin, he briefly unclinched his prick and let another jet fly. Just a quick spurt that got a deep grown from both men.

"Fuck yes," Mullins said. Then with a quiet whisper he looked down and asked. "You want more, Coach?"

Fielding nodded. He let out a soft growl as he watched a trickle come out, landing on his pecs, then make its way up...

"Shit," Brock muttered as he watched Kevin open his mouth for the regulated stream, the piss forming a little pool in the man's mouth before he gulped it openly. The QB's cock jerked rock hard once more. Now that his bladder had been partially relieved and now that he was getting even more turned on, he knew he had maybe ten seconds left of pissing, fifteen tops, before the tap turned off.

His eyes locked on Kevin's, he pushed that mammoth prick down to its prior position. The coach could read the challenge in the jock's gaze and had an idea what he was going for.

"You earned it, buddy. MVP deserves a good piss..."

Brock gulped in lust. He had even less time to work with now, he know. Quickly, he nudged an inch of his QB prick inside Kevin's greased cunt and then relaxed his fingers at the base.

His tightening abs and bladder did the rest. Both men breathed heavily as Brock's warm piss filled Coach up, pulsing deep into the man's guts.

"Fuck!" Kevin growled. This was wild and that taboo excitement was getting to him now. And while tasting Brock Mullins' urine was bracing and even a little offputting, this felt weirdly pleasurable.

Especially now that Brock was fucking him. Pushing in on that spurting piss as his hardon sprayed the last bit.

Kevin was surprised by Brock's kiss. Ferocious and hunrgy, the QB practically bent the older man back, adding to the liquid pressure inside. Brock wasn't long dicking him now, but he didn't need to. Even five or six inches of that cock was enough to feel taken.

Besides, the player was finally cumming, unable to hold off another second. He humped excitedly into Coach's warm, piss-wet body and let loose with his first load of the night. Normally, Coach knew it wouldn't be the last, but this session was so intense so far, Brock might be done after.

So Kevin held on to his player and let him ride out that extended orgasm. Patting Brock paternally on the back, almost for a job well done.

Mullins was still coming down from the high when he broke the kiss and looked soulfully into Kevin's eyes. "Damn, Coach..."

"I smell like piss," Kevin said. "Sorry..."

Brock shook his head. "It's Ok. Kinda hot actually. Like I've marked my territory."

His meat was softening inside Fielding, who was feeling the effects of being filled with liquid. "Um, buddy... you gotta get up..." he warned.

It took the QB a second to realize what was going. "Oh yeah.. shit... yeah..." He quickly dismounted and watched Coach Fielding hurriedly get up and walk out toward the toilet stalls. Brock gave the man a few seconds, then got the energy to get up and go check on him.

He saw the man walking out, the toiled flushing behind him.

"You OK, Coach?" he asked. Maybe he'd gotten carried away. Strike that, he'd DEFINITELY gotten carried away.

Kevin laughed. "All good, buddy. You just piss like a race horse, is all." He patted Brock's upper arm playfully. "Shower up?"

"Yeah."

The two men soaped up. Brock grinned and Kevin watched the stream flow from the soft dong between his legs.

"Didn't think you had any left in you," Coach said in surprise.

Brock smiled, looking down at the piss stream hitting the shower tile. "Just a little. I have another jug to drink if you want."

Kevin gulped and shook his head. "I need a break, buddy. OK?"

Brock nodded. But he was gratified to see his Coach let loose with his own piss. All of Brock's that he'd drunk was now making his way through his body and coming out in a gushing stream.

"Fuck yeah, Coach. Go for it."

Fielding smiled and looked up. "You into getting some of on you?"

In his many fantasies, Brock Mullins was always the pisser, but he wanted to try it. He stepped up and enjoyed the warmth of Coach's piss hose him down beneath the shower spray.

They kissed and embraced as Brock gave up the last of his piss to join Kevin's release.

They laughed a little as they broke apart at last.

"Don't know why that feels so good," Kevin said as he began soaping his player's chest.

Brock thought for a second. "Maybe because we're not supposed to do it. Not supposed to enjoy it."

Maybe the kid was right. Kevin sighed as he felt Brock's strong hands on his own muscled chest. The cleanliness felt like the perfect antidote to their raunchy session.

"You didn't get off, Coach," Brock said as he circled behind the man, his body spooned behind Kevin's his hands soaping the man's hairy front.

Kevin shrugged. "It's MVP night," he laughed. "Tonight's about you."

Brock patted his chest. "How bout I stay with you tonight, Coach? I'll clean up here, and we can head back to your place."

"I'm all tapped out with the water sports tonight," Fielding warned. "But if you wanna try that in the future, I'm game." He was still embarrassed to admit it, but he knew he'd really enjoyed tonight. Brock Mullins had shown Kevin a new side to himself.

"You've already given me my dream, Coach," Brock hissed. He pulled the man back into his taller, soapy body. Holding him close. "How bout Coach calls the plays when we get to yours?"

Kevin leaned back into the stud's embrace. "I don't have as big a playbook as yours, kiddo."

The man felt soft lips against his temple. "Sometimes the old fashioned, simple plays are the most effective. Right?"

"We talking football?" Coach Fielding laughed.

But Brock played it straight. "I always am, Coach. 24/7. You know that." He pulled back and turned off his shower spigot.

Fielding got more than a little wistful seeing how long that soft dong hung between the QB's thighs, swaying as Mullins walked over to pick up a towel to wipe down.

"Give me 15 minutes and I'll have your office clean again. Like new."

"I'll help," Kevin started, but Brock interrupted him.

"I make the mess, I clean it, OK, Coach?" he said.

This wasn't the first time his star athlete had entered his bossy mode, but Kevin Fielding decided he liked it. He gave the jock a nod and turned back to wash off the soap and just enjoy the warm water cleaning him off.

#drakestories