#and his 'clean' hits or that he got a penalty just for being tall

[t0wnspersonb]

Tease (Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader)

Rated: slightly explicit 

Word Count: 2,805

Summary: It’s the summer training camp, and naturally as Nekoma’s manager you attend as well. The ongoing tension between you and a certain captain gets too much to handle, and you find yourself in a compromising position late at night.

Warnings: Bokuto being Bokuto, fluff, confessions, make out sessions, grinding, my shit writing

I literally love all of the Haikyuu boys so much it’s ridiculous. I’m a fucking simp ya’ll. I hope you enjoy this spicy mess. I wanted to try something new compared to my usual fluff I write for this particular anime:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood next to Coach Nekomata as he yelled at Kenma for avoiding the ball once again. You giggled softly to yourself at the second year's expression before writing down quick notes of the game.

 You guys were just beginning the summer training camp, and it was off to a good start; maybe not so much for Karasuno though.

 You hummed softly to yourself as you went to gather up the water bottles and towels for the team, seeing as how the practice match against Fukurodani was almost over. You were crouched down as you were rearranging the bottles when you heard shouting.

 “Y/n-chan watch out!” you heard Yamamoto call out, a stray volleyball was headed in your direction, but you had easily received it, sending the ball back into the court. The familiar sting on your inner forearms was not anything new.

 You had spent countless hours with the team, watching them practice their receives and somehow being roped into it despite being the manager.

 And strangely enough, you were actually quite good at it. 

 “Lev!” Yaku shouted angrily, winding up to kick the first year. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop flailing around!? Y/n-chan almost got hit with that ball! Apologize now!”

 “I’m sorry Y/n-senpai!” Lev apologized, bowing in your direction. 

 You waved him off. Despite how good you were at receiving the ball, there were definitely times where you had taken one to the face. “Don’t worry about it Lev. Although, your receives have been terrible during this game, it makes me wonder if you would have been able to receive that ball if you were in my position. Just something to think about.” You said coyly.

 “Y/n is better at receiving than you Lev.” Kenma said. “And she doesn’t even play.”

 “If we lose this game Lev, you’re going to practice receiving with Yaku until your arms fall off.” Kuroo chimed in as well, his eyes flickering over to you briefly, glancing across your body to make sure that you were actually okay.

 The tall first year was incredibly dejected, causing you to laugh slightly at your underclassmen. Practicing with Yaku was hard work, you knew that all too well.

 “Oh that was good form Y/n-chan!” Bokuto praised from the other side of the net. “You looked good doing it!” he gave you a thumbs up.

 You could see Kuroo scowl out of the corner of your eye and smirked slightly to yourself. “Thanks Bokuto. But not as good as you when you’re doing your crazy straight.” 

 The entire Nekoma team and Fukurodani team rolled their eyes at this. Here we go… they thought.

 Kuroo’s scowl deepened, a glare beginning to form on his face as he stared at the owl-haired third year laughing loudly.

 “I know right? I’m the best!” he cheered loudly at your praise. “Hey, hey, hey! Kuroo let me have Y/n-chan for the day!”

 “For the last time, you have your own managers you stupid owl, leave mine alone.” Kuroo snapped angrily. 

 You bit back a smile as you turned your back to them, finishing up the task you were working on.

 The relationship you had with the bedhead captain was difficult to explain. It had been that way since you all joined the volleyball team in your guys’ first year. The flirting and teasing between you two was nauseating in the eyes of your teammates. They had figured that you guys would’ve started dating already but it never happened. 

 But it was clear as day that you guys had feelings for each other.

 Bokuto had taken a strong liking to you as well when you guys had first met. He thought you were incredibly cute, and a wonderful friend. Which is why he never hesitated to flirt with you, plus it made Kuroo mad and that was even better. 

 You had picked up on that immediately and would shamelessly flirt back with Bokuto because you loved the way Kuroo reacted to it.

 Everyone on both teams began to get used to these interactions whenever they all got together, despite how annoying it was to see their captains bicker back and forth.

 Nekoma had lost the practice match and after doing their penalty you began handing out the towels and drinks.

 Kuroo glanced down at you as you held his water bottle to him expectantly, his long fingers brushing carefully against yours during the exchange. “Thanks pipsqueak.” 

 You rolled your eyes at his nickname and reached to poke him hard in the side of his ribs, he dodged your attack easily and smirked widely as you huffed in anger. His hand coming up to ruffle your hair.

 “Stop that.” you pouted, pushing his hand away, fixing your mused hair. 

 Kuroo ignored the slight race of his heart as he took in your pouty face. She’s so cute, he thought.

 After a couple more practice matches the day was coming to an end. You helped the rest of the managers clean up the gym and shuffled off to help prepare dinner for everyone.

 During that time you couldn’t help but think of Kuroo. You wondered if your guys’ strange relationship would finally progress into an actual one. Neither of you had confessed to actually having feelings for one another, it was something that you guys had just assumed.

 In the eyes of the team, and even people outside of the team, they had assumed you guys were a couple. You spent a lot of time together outside of practice and school. Being around each other came naturally, and despite the bickering and teasing, you guys enjoyed each other’s company immensely.

 So then why weren’t you guys together yet?

 “Aw man.” you sighed quietly to yourself, putting your hands behind your head as you continued walking towards the baths. “This sucks.”

 “What sucks Y/n-senpai?” Lev asked. You glanced to your right and saw him standing at the entrance of gym 3 holding a ball.

 “Your receives.” you said bluntly not batting an eye.

 “Eh!? You saw that!?” he panicked, glancing around frantically. 

 It was then that the other people in the gym took notice of your form. 

 “Y/n-chan! Come keep score!” Bokuto said excitedly, coming up from behind the tall first year, Kuroo following closely behind.

 “Maybe some other time Bokuto. Oh. If you guys don’t hurry you’re going to miss dinner.” you said in amusement. 

 “Next time you’ll come and keep score then!” Bokuto exclaimed before they all started making their way out of the gym.

 You shook your head in amusement as Lev and Hinata began talking animatedly about something. 

 “Oi pipsqueak. You coming with or what?” Kuroo called, stopping when he noticed that you weren’t following them.

 You smiled slightly, shaking your head. “I already ate. I’m going to the baths and then going to bed. Do you already miss me that much?” you teased.

 He rolled his eyes at your antics and fought the blush that wanted to make its way onto his face at just the thought of you taking a bath.

 “Maybe I do.” he drawled out and started walking closer to you, his cat-like eyes staring down at you intensely, causing a shiver to run down your spine. “You want me to help you wash your back?” he whispered leaning down towards your ear. You could his lips brushing softly against the shell of your ear.

 You could feel your face burn at his words, the palm of your hands getting sweaty at how close he was. 

 Ignoring the burning embarrassment of his words, you grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down further so that his face was close to yours. “Maybe I do.” you whispered back and very carefully nipped at his earlobe. 

 Kuroo made a strange choking sound as you released him. He took a step back and covered the lower part of his face with his hand, looking away from you. Seeing his shocked expression and blushing cheeks was well worth that embarrassing moment for you.

 “Or maybe not?” you said innocently, hands resting behind your back, your head tilted to the side. “I guess some other time then.” you teased and walked away, finally allowing yourself to blush freely, your heart was racing as you entered the baths.

 Kuroo Tetsuro was going to be the death of you.

 *************

 “Sit next to me Y/n-chan!” Bokuto said, grabbing your arm and tugging him towards the table that Akaashi was currently sitting at. 

 It had been three days since that encounter with Kuroo, and quite honestly, everyone could feel the weird tension between the two of you.

 It was almost… awkward being around the both of you if you guys were together. 

 Kuroo’s gaze trained on the table that you sat at, watching as you laughed freely at Bokuto’s antics.

 “What’s going on with you and Y/n?” Kenma asked quietly, his eyes remaining on his phone.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kuroo sniffed, taking another bite of his dinner. “We’re fine.”

 “Doesn’t seem like it.” Kenma pressed. “It feels weird being around you two.”

 Kuroo looked over at his childhood friend, frowning. “What?”

 “I’m not exactly sure what it is, but the energy around you two is uncomfortable.” he said looking at Kuroo briefly before looking back at his phone.

 “Just eat your dinner.” Kuroo scolded. His gaze lowered to his food. He knew what it was, the energy between you two. It was an underlying thing, but after the incident a couple days ago, well, it got worse. 

 The sexual tension could be cut with a knife when you guys were around each other now. The sexaul frustration that Kuroo was experiencing was released tenfold after your little stunt.

 It also didn’t help that you were still flirting with Bokuto right in front of him. It annoyed him immensely. 

 You were supposed to be his girl. Kuroo thought as he laid awake on his bed. He couldn’t sleep, his thoughts being entirely consumed by you. 

 He sighed deeply to himself as he got up. A midnight walk would be sure to make him tired. 

 What he wasn’t expecting was to find you walking around the school too. You were deep in thought and almost didn’t realize that you were about to pass him until he grabbed at your arm.

 “Can we talk?” he asked seriously, staring down at you.

 You looked up in surprise. “Kuroo, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there… Yeah of course we can.” he released your arm and you guys walked until you found yourselves by the side of gymnasium 3.

 “What’s up?” you asked quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ears. 

 The expression Kuroo’s face was unreadable, it made you shift from foot to foot uneasily as he stared down at you. 

 The atmosphere around you guys was incredibly heavy, making you more nervous. 

 “I know I have a cute face and all, but the staring is really starting to creep me out, Kuroo.” you laughed nervously.

 He took a step closer to you, causing you to take a couple steps back, your back touched the side of the gym. He rested his hands on top of your shoulders, preventing you from escaping.

 And then he was kissing you.

 Your eyes widened as you felt your heart stop in your chest.

 Kuroo was kissing you.

 His lips were firm and hot as they moved urgently against yours. 

 This was… this was better than you had imagined. Your eyes fluttered shut, your hands sliding up to rest around his neck. You were on the tips of your toes so that the tall third year didn’t have to stoop down so much.

 He grunted softly against your lips as you started to kiss him back. All the flirting, teasing, unspoken feelings, came out in this moment. This kiss was well worth the three years that it took to get it.

 The hands that were resting on your shoulders slide up to cup the sides of your face, carefully angling you so that he could fit his mouth against yours better.

 Kuroo’s tongue gently poked at your lips, asking to be let in. Carefully parting your mouth, your tongues began clashing, hot and wet against each other.

 The passionate kiss that was meant to be used as a confession began to turn into something deliciously sweet and steamy.

 This was too fucking good to stop.

 Kuroo pressed himself closer to you, one leg moving to rest between yours, keeping them parted, his thigh carefully brushing against you causing you to gasp loudly at the sudden touch.

 He smirked against your mouth at the noise you made, moving one of his hands down to your waist, sliding his fingers beneath your shirt.

 His hand was warm and rough against your skin, carefully caressing your waist as he touched you, moving up to the tops of your ribs before gently cupping your breast through your bra.

 Despite the way that Kuroo was kissing you, his touch was incredibly gentle, hesitant almost. But when you moaned loudly, that was all the reassurance he needed to know that what he was doing was okay.

This was what he was missing. What he was waiting for. And he never wanted it to end. The way you felt against him, the way you tasted. He couldn’t get enough of it.

 Carefully squeezing and kneading your breast, he pressed himself closer to your body. Carefully he grinded himself against you, moaning at the way your body pressed against his growing length.

 You pulled away from his lips gasping for air, he trailed his lips softly against your jaw and down your neck, leaving hot open mouthed kisses against your skin. Kuroo began sucking and biting a bruise into the soft skin, causing you to moan out once more. You were in a daze, your head foggy from the intense pleasure that he was giving you. The Tokyo night air felt incredible against your flushed skin. 

 “Kuroo,” you breathed out, clinging to his body as he continued to touch you. “Kuroo… we should head back now… the others will start to worry…” you lost your train of thought as his lips pressed against the shell of your ear, breathing hotly against your skin.

 “You want me to stop?” he murmured, grinding harshly against you now.

 You whimpered softly. “N-N-No… but… we should go back already…”

 He pulled away from you reluctantly, his pupils were blown and wide with lust. His usual bedhead was significantly more messy, and his lips were swollen and glossed with spit. 

 He was fucking beautiful.

 The same could be said about you. Kuroo took in your heaving chest, the way your shirt no longer sat right on top of your body. Your eyes bright and lips swollen, and the dark mark he left on your neck standing proudly out for all to see. 

 Fuck you were beautiful.

 “Can we… can we do this again?” you asked shyly, looking up at him through thick lashes.

 Kuroo couldn’t help the wide smirk that began to take place on his lips. “If it wasn’t obvious, I like you, Y/n. Go out with me.” he said simply.

 A wide smile began to spread across your face, a hot blush coating your cheeks at his confession. 

 “Took you long enough.” you said cheekily. 

 Kuroo rolled his eyes and ruffled your hair. “Whatever pipsqueak. Let’s go.” 

 This training camp definitely was your favorite one so far.

 When morning came around you were over the moon, incredibly giddy and cheeky the entire time that you were setting up the cafeteria and making the food. The other managers didn’t question it but were incredibly curious as to what put the Nekoma manager in such a good mood.

 As always, Bokuto pulled you to his table to eat with him and Akaashi. You were laughing at a story Bokuto was telling, when your hair swayed from your neck and the dark mark that Kuroo had left on you last night was revealed to Akaashi’s eyes. 

 A blush coated the setter’s cheeks and he cleared his throat quietly, averting his gaze. “Y/n-san, your neck…”

 Your eyes widened in horror and you immediately moved your hair back to cover up the mark, you could feel your face burning in embarrassment as Bokuto loudly began to ask what was wrong with you.

 And then - “That’s not fair Y/n-chan! Let me give you one too!” Bokuto pouted as he saw the bruise.

 Both you and Akaashi began scolding the third year.

 Unbeknownst to you, Kuroo was smirking widely at his table as he stared at the interaction you were having with the members of Fukurodani. 

 Kenma’s eyes shifted over to the Nekoma captain. “Gross Kuroo.”

 “Shut up and eat your food Kenma!” 

#kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro #fluff #reader insert #smut #kuroo smut #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #kuroo imagine #one shot #kuroo oneshots #kuroo tetsuro x reader #imagines #nekoma

[unchartedthelostlegacy]

Chlodineweek Day 2: Playfulness

Chloe snapped open the passenger-side door and ventured, “Old one, this.”

“Ja, I don’t have a midlife crisis.”

Nadine had shut her own door and ignited the motor--and the radio--before Chloe had finished climbing in. She had to look at everything, this girl. With Ukhozi FM crackling, Nadine pulled them into the street.

“Your dad good with cars?” Chloe asked suddenly.

“What…brought that on?”

“He the one who keeps this thing up for you?”

Nadine took her eyes off the road and frowned at her treasure hunting partner. “Sorry--what is it with you?!”

“Oh, nothing,” Chloe said. Carding her fingers through her ponytail as if she was playing a harp. As the buildings outside the window progressed in a long gradient from townhouse to single-floor corrugated roof structures. “I just know for a fact you wouldn’t trust a mechanic.”

“Because they rip you off.”

“You haven’t had it looked at in a while, have you.”

No, Nadine hadn’t. Yes, it was important to her, and the fan belt was noisy enough that the radio didn’t quite cover it at the minimal volume Nadine preferred to keep it on, but fan belts weren’t technically an emergency--

“This is different,” Chloe said. “Are we still in Johannesburg?”

“Orange Farm,” Nadine muttered.

“I don’t...see any trees?”

“Here we are.”

Nadine could already see one of her aunts standing outside, hands on her hips, and calling to her sons in isiZulu. As Nadine pulled up she rolled down the window. Thin arms wrapped around her neck as each boy kissed her cheek in turn, their mother’s strict instructions about their behavior continuing through the pop of a rear door.

A dried-mud-covered soccer ball bounced against the back seats first, and then Nadine’s cousins, ages eight and ten, crashed in through the same door, yelling about Among Us and playing a Youtube video from one of their phones. Nadine opened the door, smirking about leaving Chloe to listen to it all, and embraced her aunt.

Nadine was head and shoulders taller, but the woman dwarfed her in tone of voice as she switched from admonishing her children to her niece.

“Always disappearing, Nadi. Making everyone worry.”

“Not disappearing,” Nadine said, and, tapping her wrist, flipped a bundle of rand notes out of seemingly nowhere and held them out. “Magic trick,” she said in English.

Her aunt shoved them away. “Nadi! Think about where we are, put it away!”

Her family was all like this, too proud and careful in equal measure. Nadine pressed it on her anyway. “Now, you can’t bring up how you used to have to pull me off the jacarandas.”

“You’re still a child. I won’t take money from a child,” auntie said, reaching up to tease at Nadine’s hair, ignoring the money. “You still haven’t found a nice girl to settle down with.”

“No such thing.”

"Of course there is, Nadi. So many girls in the world, so many of them nice. You are lucky."

Nadine laughed. "Not the ones that are single."

Her aunt mock-slapped her upper arm. "Steal one from someone else then!"

Nadine about doubled up then, even though she had already been laughing, and was about to fall down. Her aunt clapped her back, laughing too, and nodded back at the car. "Go on, now."

Nadine got back into the driver's seat not having left the money, and resolved to give it to the boys later. "Everybody buckled?" She said in English.

Matthew was suplexing David around the neck, but they did seem to be wearing their seatbelts. Nadine scanned Chloe's waist for a buckle too, and looked up. The woman's brows were furrowed, her face inscrutable.

"What's the matter?" Nadine said.

"Oh, it's...nothing," Chloe did her usual nervous chuckle, gripped her arms. "I didn't know you could laugh like that."

"I've laughed in front of you."

Nadine reached back to separate the boys, just as if they were groceries, and they ricocheted to their opposite sides of the car before the belts tethered them. Kinetic energy.

"Not like...never mind, it's nothing."

Nadine pulled them out of the street, taking a few turns before she got on the main thoroughfares, when more trees and tall buildings became visible over the turnpike.

=

Nadine plucked out the ball and let it fall, giving it a quick tap with the side of her boot. It lobbed out over the ocean of grass and her cousins ran screaming after it, barefoot, even as she held their cleats and a blanket under her arm. She let out a scoff and shut the car door.

"Didn't we pass by a pitch over in--Orange Farm, was it?" Chloe said as she passed her.

"Some people call it Farma, too."

"Right," Chloe said, following her. Then: "Why come all the way here when--"

"Nadi!" David cried as he zoomed back. If he was a cartoon character, he would leave speed clouds behind him like the roadrunner. "We have four today, ja? We can play teams!"

"I don't think my friend brought cleats," Nadine said with a chuckle, immediately interrupted by Chloe flinging off her shoe.

"Splendid idea," Chloe said as she elbowed her, hopping on one leg with a grin. "Who picks?"

Nadine laughed again, shaking her head. "I know they look small, but they're really good. You might want to--"

Chloe bumped her in the shoulder. "I've played Aussie Rules," she hissed, as if it carried the weight of admitting to a murder.

"Is that when you ride on kangaroos? They do the kicking? Ball's a rolled up koala?"

The boys roared in laughter.

Chloe sniffed. "That would be Aussie polo. Get our sports right, Nadine Ross.”

Nadine shook her head, laughing, as she dropped the boys’ cleats and headed to the regulation-size end goal. They normally used one of the smaller side ones, but those were taken by a group of teenagers still wearing their school uniforms.

It stretched to either side as she stood in the middle, and she hopped up to do a quick pull-up on the crossbar before plunking down and turning to face her cousins. “It’s been a while. Try to get it past me.”

Matthew, breaking away from another impromptu wrestling match with his brother, ran to the free kick zone and set the ball down, adjusting its position minutely before taking a few steps back. David and Chloe lined up behind him as he broke into a run and smashed where his shoelaces would have been against the ball.

Nadine winced, wishing he’d put on his cleats. She was already moving. She didn’t even need to dive as she swatted the ball clean left.

“Taught you better than that, ja?!” she shouted at the pouting boy, dusting off her hands, as his younger brother ran gleefully after the ball.

Nadine turned and did two chin-ups off the crossbar--rituals were important--and when she dropped back down and turned, Chloe was crouching by David, whispering and gesticulating to him. Was she giving him directions? Describing an elephant in pantomime? Maybe she was teaching him the finer points of Australian Rules Football.

“Clock violation, ja!”

Chloe left him, and David stepped back, and suspicion rose in Nadine’s stomach. There was something about the look on her partner’s face.

She’s told him to put English on it, Nadine thought, almost seeing the boy’s bare foot approach the ball in slow motion. But which way?

She saw him feint, and her reflexes sent her the way she knew the ball would go, not the way the child was going--

But she didn’t see him freeze.

His foot stopped. Nadine had hit the grass by the time he came back into motion, took his final step and his kick finally connected.

The ball passed inches above her then, but it might as well have been the moon. It pillowed against the back of the net as she reached for it, and the next moment Nadine pushed herself off the ground with venom in her eyes for Chloe.

She’d taught David that damned Ronaldo stutter step.

The boy exploded, leaping and pumping his arm, and his brother shouted “LEKKER!!!” while tackling him with a hug. The first rule of being a child was acting like it was the World Cup at all times.

“I beat Nadi! I beat Nadi!”

“Good job!” Chloe was saying. “You beat Nadi! High-five, David! Look how sad she is!”

Nadine was an adult, but still subscribed to the rule of acting like it was the World Cup--rituals are important--and was lying on her back covering her face like she’d lost the penalty shootout to the Italians. The next moment David and Matthew had body-slammed her, laughing themselves silly.

“I want--I want freezer on my team!” David cried.

This revived Nadine.

“Freezer’s yours,” she said, grinning, and let them pull to her feet. She heard Chloe muttering under her breath and they traded glares as Nadine said, “Put your cleats on, then.”

“Freezer’s not wearing shoes!” Matthew protested, even as he pulled on his.

“Because I have magical ice powers,” Chloe said, easing her bare foot under the ball in the corner of the goal and lifting it, only to have Nadine steal it with her head. Chloe turned to yell at her, but Nadine caught it on her knee and dribbled it out to the free kick line.

“Oh, I see,” Chloe said, and walked to the middle of the goal with awesome serenity. “Warning you now, I was in goal most of the time in secondary school,” she smacked her hands together and held them out. “Do your worst.”

#chlodineweek #chlodineweek2021 #chloe frazer #nadine ross #uncharted: the lost legacy

[candyradium]

Finally got around to typing up my Technoblade D&D build!!! I’ve been working on making these for a lot of the Dream SMP characters, and I thought it would be fun to have him in stat block format, so you too can throw c!Technoblade at your players as a final boss! (Disclaimer: I don’t know how accurate the CR level is, I just set it to 8 since the build is a lv8 build PC build.)

Image description and explanation/rambling below the cut!

[Image ID: A D&D stat block for Technoblade. It reads:

Technoblade

Medium humanoid (firbolg), Lawful Neutral

Armor Class: 18 (Half plate, defense fighting style)

Hit Points: 72 (8d12+24)

Speed: 40 ft.

STR: 18 (+4)

DEX: 14 (+2)

CON: 16 (+3)

INT: 14 (+2)

WIS: 13 (+1)

CHA: 6 (-2)

Saving Throws: Str +7, Con +6

Skills: Athletics +7, Intimidation +1, Perception +4, Survival +4

Damage Resistances: bludgeoning, piercing, slashing

Senses: passive Perception 14

Languages: Common, Elvish, Giant, Goblin

Challenge: 8 (3,900 XP)

Innate spellcasting. Technoblade's innate spellcasting ability is Wisdom (spell save DC 12). He can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

1/short rest each: detect magic, disguise self

Speech of beast and leaf. Technoblade has the ability to communicate in a limited manner with beasts and plants. They can understand the meaning of his words, though he has no special ability to understand them in return. He has advantage on all Charisma checks he makes to influence them.

Powerful build. Technoblade counts as one size larger when determining his carrying capacity and the weight he can push, drag, or lift.

Unarmoured defense. When not wearing any armour, Technoblade's defense equals 15. He can use a shield and still gain this benefit.

Reckless. At the start of his turn, Technoblade can gain advantage on all melee weapon attack rolls he makes during that turn, but attack rolls against him have advantage until the start of his next turn.

Great weapon master. When Technoblade scores a critical hit with a melee weapon or reduces a creature to 0 hit points with one, he can make one melee weapon attack as a bonus action. Additionally, before Technoblade makes a melee weapon attack with a heavy weapon that he is proficient with, he can choose to take a -5 penalty to the attack roll. If the attack hits, he adds +10 to the attack's damage.

Warrior of the Gods. If a spell, such as Raise Dead, has the sole effect of restoring Technoblade to life (but not undeath), the caster doesn't need material components to cast the spell on Technoblade.

Divine fury. While Technoblade is raging, the first creature he hits on each of his turns with a weapon attack takes extra necrotic damage equal to 1d6 + 3.

Action surge (1/rest). Technoblade takes one additional action on his turn.

Combat superiority (4/rest). Technoblade can apply the following maneuvers using his four superiority die (d8s):

Feinting attack: Technoblade expends one superiority die and uses a bonus action on his turn to feint, choosing one creature within 5 feet of his as his target. He has advantage on his next attack roll against that creature before the end of his turn. If that attack hits, add the superiority die to the attack's damage roll.

Menacing attack: When Technoblade hits a creature with a weapon attack, he can expend one superiority die to attempt to frighten the target. He adds the superiority die to the attack's damage roll, and the target must make a Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, it is frightened of him until the end of his next turn.

Trip attack: When Technoblade hits a creature with a weapon attack, he can expend one superiority die to attempt to knock the target down. He adds the superiority die to the attack's damage roll, and if the target is Large or smaller, it must make a Strength saving throw (DC 15). On a failed save, he knocks the target prone.ActionsHidden step (1/rest).

As a bonus action, Technoblade can magically turn invisible until the start of his next turn or until he attacks, makes a damage roll, or forces someone to make a saving throw.

Greatsword. Melee Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (2d6 + 4) slashing damage.

Heavy Crossbow. Ranged Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, range 100/400 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d10 + 2) piercing damage.

Multiattack. Technoblade can make 2 weapon attacks.

Rage (4/day). As a bonus action, Technoblade enters a rage that lasts for 1 minute, ending early if knocked unconscious or if Technoblade's turn ends and he hasn't attacked a hostile creature since his last turn or taken damage since then. He can also end his rage on his turn as a bonus action. While raging, Technoblade deals +2 damage, has advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws, and has resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage. Technoblade cannot cast spells during a rage.

End ID.]

Okay. Rambling time.

Holy SHIT I loved making this. I tend to play spellcasters or dex based characters, so it was a lot of fun to make a str character for once.

Stats first. As a barbarian/fighter and also as a force of nature, str is his highest stat. I could have made it 20, but I have a weird aversion to writing up characters with maxed out stats for some reason? Anyway, that’s what he has. He can always boost it if he takes another level in fighter. I also decided to give him pretty high intelligence and wisdom, which are rare in barbarian characters, since, y’know, their main point is to hit things very hard. But Techno is so, SO resourceful, and one of the main reasons that he’s so good at fighting is because he does his research and acquires the best items for it and puts himself in the right place at the right time. Hence the high-ish int. I feel a little bad making his charisma so low, but cha represents several things, most notably the ability to talk to people and force of personality. Also known as: how hard it is to be swayed or controlled, magically or otherwise. Remember what happened at the festival? That’s low charisma. Also I had to give him a low stat to balance the fact that he’s insanely good at so many fucking things. Why.

As a side note, when picking his proficiencies, I was using the homebrew rule that you can use your strength modifier when you roll for intimidation. So his Strength (Intimidation) check would actually have a +7, which is MUCH better than the Charisma (Intimidation) check of +1. Big strong characters are absolutely scary, damnit, and I will die on that hill.

Next up: race. I HAD to make him a firbolg. They’re connected with nature and are often portrayed with animalistic features (e.g. Caduceus Clay from Critical Role), and it means we can have both pig Techno and anime Techno, since firbolgs naturally have the disguise self spell. I just think that’s neat. They also get the ability to turn invisible! Which Techno has been doing a LOT recently! Sure, firbolgs can only do it for a turn, but it still fits.

Onto classes. Barbarian was a dead certain for Techno, honestly - his battle prowess, how he acts when he fights, it just fits so well. Even his use of potions - he gets a lot of buffs from them, increased damage and damage resistance being the two most notable and the two that best translate to D&D rage. Even speed potions - barbarians get +10ft movement speed at level 5. And barbarians are made for two-handed weapons, so obviously I HAD to give him a greatsword. The Orphan Obliterator is a deadly weapon. He also still favours swords even when axes are better in the newest version, so a greatsword was a must. Also I just really like greatswords.

I wavered a bit when picking a subclass, to be honest. I’m not really a big fan of any of the official subclasses (they don’t really fir my playstyle, which is why I homebrewed an entire new subclass for my barbarian character, but that’s a post for another day), but looking through, there were a few that could work. Originally, I picked Juggernaut - this was because of how he fought during the Dream battle, moving Dream around the arena into a more advantageous position for Techno, which is the Juggernaut’s 3rd level ability in a nutshell. They also can’t be knocked prone, and both of these things work INCREDIBLY well for skywars/bedwars style combat - staying put on this island and knocking off your opponents.

However, in the end, I decided to go with Zealot. It was inevitable after he REALLY started building his character on the Dream SMP, which is what this is mostly based on. Zealots have two main points: they follow a God, and it’s very, VERY hard to kill them.

Sound familiar?

Techno isn’t just a barbarian - he also has three levels of Battlemaster fighter. The barbarian/fighter combo is one of the best there is for sheer combat power (bested only, in my opinion, by barbarian/moon druid - those characters are actually unkillable) and the choice of Battlemaster specifically opened up so many options in combat. I had debated going with champion, just for the crit probability boost, but ultimately decided that Battlemaster was infinitely more fun. The three maneuvers were picked for a combination of reasons - they’re all incredibly useful in combat, but I also just thought they were thematically accurate and/or funny. I just had to give him Menacing Attack, because one of the few constants in Technoblade’s combat is people running the hell away from him during competitions. Feinting is for pure combat ability, and Trip is just. Really funny to me. It worked better when he was Juggernaut and literally couldn’t be knocked prone, but I just like the idea of someone using their full action to try and knock over this eight foot tall firbolg (they’re so fucking tall! This bitch is massive!) Technoblade just. Looking down at them before knocking them clean off of their feet with one swing of his Greatsword.

And finally, weapons and magical items. The magic ones didn’t actually make it onto the stat block, because I wanted it to be purely basic character building, but I absolutely had some ideas. Some of these were rolled on loot tables, some were completely homebrewed to fit Techno’s canon weapons. Guess which ones lmao.

magical heavy crossbow (use charge to fire 3 bolts simultaneously, using only one arrow, rolling an attack for each. Each target must be within 10ft of each other. 7 charges per day)

explosive bolts (10ft radius, double dice of the weapon it’s fired from, dex save)

mithral half-plate

ring of feather falling

trident of flight (attunement) (30ft swim and flight speed, 120ft flight speed when its raining)

upgraded cape of the mountebank (8 charges, 2 for misty step, 4 for dimension door) (yes it looks like his normal cape)

bag of holding

sword of life-stealing (attunement) (I don’t know why I added this except Techno’s canon sword would be VERY hard to homebrew and also he can do enough damage with a normal one so he could literally just have like a +2 or something. Do what you want)

#candy posts #dream smp #technoblade #dnd #dream smp dnd builds #ive been working on these fucking things for MONTHS i cannot wait to post more #i have dreams stat block made too and i have a lot of other builds finished that i just havent typed up yet lol

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

snowball fight

There is cursing in this one. This is pure mayhem but I had a lot of fun writing this!

Team 1 - Kat, Spot, Blink, Albert, Specs, Buttons, Les, Smalls, Tommy Boy

Team 2 - Jack, Race, Mush, Finch, Romeo, Elmer, Davey, JoJo, Henry

It was a yearly tradition that they all looked forward to. When the first big snowfall fell in the city, the group would descend upon Central Park and have a big snowball fight. The group of 18 were divided so that couples (or brothers) weren’t on the same team.

“Men,” a throat cleared to his left. “And women, we gather here for war. Every one of you has prepared for war and though it’s tragic, someone of us will not make it home.”

Jack walked between the two lines giving his speech, stoic and hands behind his back as he marched. Kat merely rolled her eyes as some of their friends heckled him. “It’s a snowball fight, not war, Jack.”

“He’s been practicing this speech since snow was even mentioned in the forecast.” Kat called, as her husband gave her a look.

“Troops!” Jack whistled, getting their attention as the heckling and discussion stopped. “You’re not couples on this battlefield, you’re all enemies and this is war. Spot, explain the rules.”

Spot joined Jack on his pacing. “Men and women, we’re here for an epic snowball fight. We are here to see which team is superior. You will have tenminutes to make as many snowballs as possible before we battle. Every man for themselves then we battle until the last man is standing. Any questions?”

“Timeout zone?” Kat crossed her arms, giving her husband and brother-in-law a look.

The timeout zone was something they instituted a few years back for anyone who got a little overzealous. At one time or another, all of them had spent time in the zone. “Bench over there. Crutchie will be there and he’ll keep track of penalty time. Any other questions?”

“How long do we gotta be out here for?” Smalls asked, looking between her brothers. “Are you trying to freeze us to death?”

Jack looked at Spot. They both chuckled at their little sister’s whining. “Until the last man stands.”

“Alright y’all - let’s blitz them so we can get this done and over with.” Smalls gave her team a look as a few of them agreed.

Spot gave his sister a look. “Any other questions?”

“We doing safe zones?” Blink called, raising his hand.

Spot gave him a look, rolling his eyes. “Not this year. Besides too many people crowded into them to avoid getting hit and that’s the whole point of a snowball fight. Any other questions?”

“What if the timeout zone is overcrowded like it was last year?” Crutchie asked that one as a few groans escaped the group.

The previous year was awful - couples ganged up with one another to fight the battle. At one point Jack, Kat, Spot, and Race were the only ones not in the timeout zone.

“If it gets too crowded, then we’ll call a timeout and cool our jets.” Spot said, looking up and down the line. “Albert and Finch, no repeat of last year.”

Albert gave Spot a look. “Hey we weren’t the only ones that did it.”

“But you’re the ones I’m calling out. Stay away from each other.” Spot gave them both a look. “Any other questions?”

Tommy Boy raised his hand as Spot nodded at him. “We’re getting hot chocolate after this right?”

Jack chuckled, at the many questions that were. Ok’ing in. Spot groaned loudly, his patience running thin. “YES NOW ANYMORE QUESTIONS RELATED TO THE GAME?”

Silence met them as Jack dismissed them. Kat and Spot led their group to the east side of the park while Jack and Race led their group to the west.

Once they were all huddled up, Jack yelled ten minutes and they got to work. Typically the two were team captains as their teams changed every year.

“What’s the plan for Team Spat?” Albert asked, clapping his hands together as he and the rest of the team gathered around Kat and Spot.

Spot leaned his head in, pointing out the strategy as everyone nodded. There were a few questions as Kat and Spot went over the plan they had devised a few weeks ago. The two took the epic snowball fight more seriously than their counterparts.

Meanwhile in Jack and Race’s group, their group looked to their fearless leader who shrugged and grinned. “Every man for themselves. Just pelted people as fast as you can.”

Crutchie blew a whistle when the tenminutes was up. Jack, Race, Spot, and Kat met Crutchie in the middle of the field. Crutchie gave them a look. “Now I want a clean match. No wiley ways out of either team. Shake hands and the match will begin on my whistle.”

The four exchanged handshakes, glaring at their significant other. “May the best men and women win.”

The two teams faced each other, putting on their most intimidating faces, glaring at the competition. Crutchie stood, shaking his head at the antics of his friends before sharply blowing the whistle. Snowballs flew in either direction as shouts of being hit or victory were soon heard.

“Dammit.” Kat cussed, hurling another snowball in the direction of her husband only to miss, as Spot came up to her and whispered something in her ear. She grinned at him, nodding.

Kat dropped the snowball she was holding, stalking across enemy lines up to her husband and threw her arms around him before passionately kissing him. Spot followed behind her, showering snowballs at him. Kat pulled back and walked over to Spot’s side with a satisfied grin.

Crutchie’s sharp whistle blew loudly as all play came to a halt. “Jack, Kat, and Spot all to the timeout zone!”

Spot and Kat high-fived, laughing. “So worth it.”

The three stalked over to the timeout zone, sitting on the bench with their arms crossed as they watched the action in front of them. “What was that?”

“That was us getting you back for hitting us.” Kat gave him a look, stretching out her shoulder where a violent snowball had hit. “Damn, why do you have to have such a wicked throw?”

Jack laughed, shrugging. “Did you forget I played baseball in college?”

The lightbulb clicked over Kat and Spot’s heads. “Oh yea . . . kinda did forget about that.”

“So what's the strategy behind that?” Jack asked, giving the two a look, while watching Race throw a wicked ball towards Albert.

Spot chuckled. “Can’t beat them . . . join them.”

Crutchie watched the three. “Your time is up. Again, no wiley ways you three.”

They all turned to him with a grin, holding up their hands. “Yes, dad.”

Letting the two walk ahead of her, Kat bent down and scooped up some snow, forming it into a perfect snowball before lobbing it at Jack’s back, perfect hit. She giggled, watching him turn around and run towards her, causing her to shriek loudly.

Jack tackled her in the snow as Spot shook his head continuing on his way back to his team. He took a moment to survey the field, looking for a tall blonde. He could hear his laugh as he attacked his best friend. Scooping down, he grabbed his own handful of snow, forming it into a snowball, sneaking back over to enemy lines.

“Pssst . . . he’s behind the tree in the corner.” Spot looked behind him with a grin. Finch stood there with his own snowball. “He’s made Albie his target.”

Spot grinned, looking at his friend. “I’ll take Race, you take Albie?”

Finch grinned as the two snuck up to their significant other. Finch blitzed Albie while Spot merely snuck up behind Race and stuffed snow down his coat, eliciting a girlie scream to escape Race’s mouth.

Spot took off running backwards, watching Race do a jig to get the snow out of his coat. “Remember who you’re going home with Conlon!”

Blink and Mush were violently throwing off handed insults at one another while pelting the other with snowballs. Spot laughed watching Blink tackle Mush into the snow before shoving a handful of snow into his face.

Meanwhile, Romeo and Elmer had ganged up on Specs and Buttons, each person throwing as many snowballs as possible, only to have one of the many hit a target, though many of the targeted snowballs actually hit their own teammate.

Davey watched the battlefield with a cocked eyebrow at the pure mayhem that was in front of him. His eyes zeroed in on Les, along with Tommy Boy and Smalls, who were sneaking up on unsuspecting victims and bombarded snowballs at Jojo and Henry, who’s yelps and screams made Davey laugh.

Soon he felt a snowball pelt his back before a few more were added in quick succession. Whipping around, he got another snowball in the face, eyes wide. “Thought we were friends, Kelly.”

She laughed, throwing her head back as she threw another snowball in his direction. “Not on the battlefield, we aren’t. Besides, my husband said it best, every man for themselves.”

“Then why is Jack standing beside you?” Davey asked, giving her a look.

She bent down, grabbed more snow before shaping it into the perfect snowball. “He may have said that you were in la la land. But the throwing of the snowball was alllllllll me.”

“Better watch your back, Plums.” He called, leaning down and grabbing his own snowball.

Throwing her snowball at him, she cocked an eyebrow at him, holding up a gloved hand. “It’s been Kelly for the last 18 months, David. Mind your manners.”

“Hey our team captain is in trouble.” Someone called as she heard rushing of feet come up behind her, a flurry of snowballs in the air in Davey’s direction. “Get him, guys!”

A snowball was hurled towards his chest, throwing him off balance as he lost his footing and fell to the ground in a dramatic fashion. Katherine put her hand up, looking at her friends on either side. “I say it’s a victory for Team SPAT. Are we all in agreement?”

An excited cheer went up, as they all looked at Spot and Jack for the official call. “I’m okay with conceding.”

Spot offered a hand to Jack, as he eagerly shook on it. “Well played, my friend.”

“Hot chocolate?” Spot asked, as Jack nodded. The losing team had to buy the winning team hot chocolate as a prize.

Jack watched everyone start to walk off their battlefield with a grin. Kat laced her arms around his waist, leaning into him, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss on his cheek. “Well played, captain.”

“Well played, major.” He pulled her into his arms, before dipping her to place a kiss on her lips. All of their friends, by that point, had noticed the two weren’t following behind, and had stopped and catcalled Jack as he dipped her.

Pulling her up, Jack grinned at her before pressing another kiss to her lips. “Well play, Jack, well played.”

He grinned, holding out his hand for her to grab. “All in a day's work.”

The two walked to where their friends were waiting. Spot and Race walking to their side. “Do you really gotta make a scene in the park?”

Kat bent down, grabbing a handful of snow, giving Race a look. “Do you really not know how to keep your mouth shut?”

She lunged for him, knowing him off his feet. A oomph came from both of their mouths before she shoved snow down his shirt. “Maybe that’ll teach you to keep your mouth shut?”

“The only way that’ll happen . . .” Race trailed off, looking over at Spot with a suggestive look on his face.

Kat groaned, grabbing another handful of snow, pushing it in his face, before getting to her feet. “Spot, come get your fiancé. . . he’s running his mouth again.”

Spot held a hand down for Race, giving him a look. “Why do you have to always rile her up?”

“Because it’s fun.” Race grinned, bouncing on his toes. “Let’s go! Hot chocolate waits for no one.”

Kat gave Spot a look. “Are you sure it’s okay for him to have anymore sugar?”

“He’ll crash and burn tonight. It’s the one night of the year that he doesn’t talk in his sleep.” Spot grinned, lacing his fingers with Race’s as they started to make their way out of the park.

The group of friends grinned at each other, reflecting on what a great day it had been. Yearly traditions were truly the best as they got to act like five year olds for a bit while running around in the freshly laid snow. Jack grinned to himself as he squeezed Kat’s hand. Yes, his team had lost but in the end, he won by having a great partner by his side.

I’ve had this in my back pocket for a while now. What do you think? Feedback is always welcomed!!

#newsies #newsies fan fiction #writing #ask #drabble prompts #newsies drabble #snowball fight #holiday fic #Jack Kelly #katherine newsies #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #albert dasilva #finch cortez

[melmac78]

The first chapter of the Tracy’s doing the Overnight/Live Aboard program. It’s a WIP, and and will take a bit to finish as I’ve got to rewrite a couple of scenes as I found they’re implausible. (There are some minor liberties taken on the program, but I try to have anything that can be visited IRL accurate).

These pics correlate to the opening chapter.

Notes: the berth described in story is not exact to the above: The one I stayed in is the door and by the women’s Head (bathroom, accurate as they also have showers), and the quarters displayed above are part of a tour. Also, my headcanon is Texas was allowed to become an independent republic again in the future.

Enjoy.

••••••

Scott Tracy was in love - again. She had sleek curves, a graceful nose, beautiful blue and gold colorings... and long graceful wings.

He stared at the real Navy Blue A-4 Skyhawk Blue Angel that "flew" on a tall, solid pedestal as though soaring the skies.

Scott could imagine being behind the wheel of the plane, zooming through the air to help serve his country. The swooping, diving and turning were all quite vivid in his head, and he got lost in his imagination.

In fact, Scott was so deep in his dream he didn't notice the world around him trying to get his attention - nor the fact he was grabbed and thrown into a fireman's carry.

It wasn't until he saw grey concrete and rough, seashell laden sand - and someone's shoulders hitting Scott in the gut - he realized he was even moving.

Scott finally was snapped out of his thoughts, aided by the crisp, salty air of the Gulf of Mexico. "Hey! Let me go! Put me down!" said the pilot, gently pounding on the man's left shoulder blade.

A gentle base voice laughed. "Sorry birthday boy but there's plenty more to see than your 'girlfriend'," laughed Virgil as he continued to walk the man a short distance to the front entrance of the USS Lexington in Corpus Christi, the Texas Republic.

The aircraft carrier, commissioned February 17, 1943, was the fifth one by that name. The previous one - CV-2 was sunk in the Coral Sea during World War I, and people chose to rename a newly built carrier from USS Cabot to Lexington in her predecessor's honor.

The nickname Blue Ghost, coined by Tokyo Rose, was created when the Japanese thought she had been sunk four times, but came back.

She was kept in service until formally decommissioned in 1992, and now had been a museum for almost 70 years.

When Texas was allowed to become its own independent constitutional republic again in 2047, the United States allowed the carrier to still be on display in the Gulf as part of a history sharing program.

When Grandma Tracy gave a Live Aboard trip to Scott for his birthday, he suggested they all go. He said it was all he wanted for his birthday - a trip through history of course, experiencing life on an aircraft carrier, but also spending time with his family.

They would be camping in the old crew quarters below deck as part of the program, as well as enjoy meals in the mess hall and see other sites in Corpus Christi, including the Texas State Aquarium and museums in the area.

Even John happily agreed to come down and stay on Earth for the two nights they would spend camping on board the vintage aircraft carrier, so it was for once the entire family.

Admittedly though no one knew how much excitement this trip would bring for the family.

It was already a struggle for them to keep Gordon from dashing off to the visit the marine wildlife and rehabilitation centers at the aquarium. His invite to feed the fish - inside the aquarium in his scuba gear - and the dolphins wasn't until two days later.

Now, just like Scott had done to Gordon over the aquarium, Virgil had to carry him away to get to where they were supposed to go.

"Oh come on Virg - she's not my girlfriend," said Scott, rolling his eyes as he lightly bopped his brother's head.

Virgil scoffed. "Yeah right - you also have to flirt with the TA-4 Skyhawk, T-2C Buckeye, SNJ-5 Texan, KA3B Skywarrior, N3N Yellow Peril, F/A-18 Hornet, 4A Phantom 2..." he said as he then gently set his brother down beside his others. They had their sleeping bags and backpacks bundled together for the two-night stay, packing clothing and other supplies needed.

What many didn't know there was another special "guest" on board - Thunderbird Four. She was boarded late the night before on a special elevator remaining active on the ship. The other 'Birds were ready to fly with EOS' autopilot at a moment's notice from Tracy Island.

While none of the Tracys thought any vehicle would be needed, they wanted to be ready just in case. Kayo was also on standby, staying at a nearby hotel with a helicopter landing on the rooftop to quickly board Shadow.

Scott chuckled in concession. "All right - I'm the 'Bachelor' for a bunch of aviator beauties," he said looking at the ship. "At least I'm not Gordon and want to kiss a sea turtle or otter."

"Hey - that was in my dreams," said Gordon, who then realized it only made things worse. He chuckled. "Yeah... well, I admit I'm wanting to go to the aquarium already, but I've also been looking forward to staying on the Lexington. I finally get to teach you a thing or two about ship life."

Alan chuckled. "Yeah, such as how to get stuck in the brig for hours misbehaving," he teased.

The aquanaut shook his head. "Can't do that bro - the brig is on the hard-hat tour, and Grandma couldn't get us on that one. Filled up."

"Doesn't mean they couldn't put you in the photo op brig," chuckled John, who was sitting on a large ship anchor as he finished his bottled water and snack.

They laughed at the remark as Virgil sat down by his red-headed brother. "How are you feeling bro? Do you need some more water?" he asked seriously.

John shook his head, waving off the remark. He was still suffering space sickness compounded with a rough descent in Thunderbird Five's space elevator two days prior. It had been bad enough he scared his brothers by passing out shortly after they greeted him in the living room.

They all had been worried his "space sickness" would keep him from going, but Virgil and Brains gave him the OK, as long as he ate and drank whatever he was given by the medic or brothers. They already had told him he'd be buying mozzarella sticks - a specialty - at the concession stand the moment after they got settled on board.

"I'm fine, besides - looks like we're about to start our adventure," John said, nodding toward the middle age man walking up to them.

"The Tracy brothers correct - Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon and Alan?" said the man, and the five nodded. "Just wanted to be sure. Your grandmother had already checked in with the girls from the local YMCA. Said though she was going to head to the Wardroom's mess to fix you dinner."

The five brothers gasped in horror, and the man chuckled. "Don't worry - we have people hired to cook the meals. We told her to rest and wait until Scott's birthday celebration - but only bring store bought foods."

Gordon wiped his forehead in a melodramatic fashion. "Whew! for a moment there I was afraid we'd end up getting something that closely resembles SOS."

Alan looked at his older brother, confused. "What's SOS?"

"Well it's also known as Sh..."

Virgil quickly clamped a hand over his seafaring brother's mouth. "Corned beef hash on toast," he said, glaring at Gordon. "SOS is a nickname for the food, and I'd better not hear you say it fully."

Gordon rolled his eyes but conceded.

Alan made a vow to himself to quietly ask his immediate older brother later - out of Virgil's earshot - what the acronym stood for.

The Lexington worker laughed. "Well, now that's settled, let's get started on your Live Aboard program. My name is Jacob Cobalt, and I'll be the ship leader during the next two days aboard the USS Lexington," he said. "Shortly I'll take you aboard so you can unpack in the berthing quarters. You'll be staying in the same area as the Boy Scouts, but have a berth to yourself."

The others nodded. They knew a couple of the workers were informed by the GDF about the need for the five to have their own quarters. Their berth would be slightly smaller than the larger groups, but they would be able to store their IR uniforms without the worry of prying eyes looking through lockers.

Jacob continued. "That said, you'll still have to follow the same rules of the Live Aboard, which means first, you must show proper decorum on this ship. It is a memorial to those who fought and died on it for freedom. Secondly, you have to obey whatever command I say…" he said, smirking before he then changed to a drill instructor tone. "So line up at attention! Backs straight and tuck in your shirt tails!"

The result was a slight comedy of errors when John tripped over a sleeping bag and crashed into Virgil, making both tumble to the ground. As they did they bumped into Gordon's shoulder, making him back into the anchor. Thankfully, all he did was sit on it.

"You have 10 seconds to get in line and shirt tails tucked and get in line," said the ship leader.

Everyone got in line and their tails tucked in by the count of 10 - except Scott.

Jacob clicked his tongue, disappointed. "You of all people - retired Air Force - can't get your shirt tucked in quickly?" he said, motioning Scott to come forward. "Well... I guess you get to give an example of what we do if someone's caught with their shirt untucked."

The other four Tracys laughed. "Oh boy, Flyboy got in trouble," said Gordon, teasing.

Scott gave a feral grin. "Don't think I won't be watching for my chance to get even..." said the eldest as he stood by Jacob.

"I think you'll have plenty of chances Scott…" said Jacob with a smile.

The aquanaut made a show of gulping, to everyone's amusement.

"OK...so what's the penalty?" Scott said, wincing. He hoped it wasn't clean the Head with a toothbrush.

"You have to do 15 pushups - the proper way," said the leader with a chortle.

Scott merely laughed and did as he was told - making sure the final five were single-handed to shush Gordon further.

One he did his 15 pushups, Scott returned to the line and Jacob continued. "OK, now we'll head up to the berthing area. Watch for low overhangs, your step on the ladders, and the lips of the doors so you don't trip over them."

John gave a subtle wince. "I thought I hated gravity before..." he muttered, praying he didn't go flying into a bulkhead not paying attention to the floor. He certainly didn't want to wind up ruining Scott's birthday suffering a concussion.

Virgil put a gentle hand on his brother's shoulder. "It's all right John - we'll make sure you don't fall - down or out," he said knowingly as they gathered their items and headed up the long ramp. They admired the exterior of the Blue Ghost, which included weaponry and lifeboat pods.

At the entrance, they received a blue wristband, showing they were part of the Live Aboard program and could stay past visitor hours before looking around the hangar deck. There was a machine that would simulate a flight simulation for guests while a real simulator lay on display nearby.

Other planes with mannequin workers getting it ready for takeoff, military memorabilia, and mockups for photos graced the area as well.

The Tracys however were heading toward a hatch leading to one of the Heads on the ship. “This way gentlemen,” said Jacob.

John leaned over the railing to look at the ladder of stairs and had a slight case of vertigo. "Oh brother, that's a way down," he muttered.

The youngest brother looked at his brother in sympathy. "You'll be OK John. I'll show you how to get down," said Alan as he started his climb down with his backpack. He faced away from the ladder, making his descent very slow.

When he reached the landing, he turned around, realizing he forgot his sleeping bag. "Um, guys, can you -" said Alan, only to be hit in the face with said item.

Looking up, he saw someone chortling. "Very funny Gordo," said Alan, only to be hit in the face again, this time with Gordon's pillow, then sleeping bag.

"Yeah - it is. You just took the worst way to get down these ladders," said Gordon as he turned around and faced the ladder on his descent. He would've slid down the rails as he did on occasion during his WASP stint, but the rungs were wrapped in rope to add grip safety. Gordon certainly wasn't going to let Alan tease him for rope burns.

Eventually, all five managed to make their way down without much incident. John went last just in case he slipped - and when he did three steps from the bottom, Scott and Virgil caught him. John gave a weak smile in thanks.

Jacob then descended and lead them to a doorway marked "Reserved for Live Aboard Only," and lowered the chain before opening the heavy door.

"OK, here's where you'll be staying the next couple of days. You'll use this head in the evenings after hours, and the showers are behind the wall there," he said, then gestured for them to come inside the quarters.

Inside there was a pool table, old fashioned arcade game that still worked nearly 80 years later, sofas and a ping-pong table. Military memorabilia from the wars the Lexington served in: badges, coats worn by sailors, flags, challenge coins, photos, adorned the walls along with mementos from past guests.

Seeing the youngest look over at the entertainment, the eldest sighed. "We're going to have to keep Alan from the video game, or he'll never go on tours," said Scott, knowing the youngest's fondness for antique games.

Alan rolled his eyes. "I can't play them - I don't have any coins," he said, looking at the game. "Besides - it's that old Donkey Kong game - I defeated it years ago."

The others just shook their head as they followed Jacob through a pair of doors. Turning left, they saw a kitchen area, clean but dark and clearly unused for decades.

Once they descended yet another set of ladders, they arrived at their berth. "Make yourselves at home. You can tour any of the paths until mess in the wardroom at 1800 hours," he said.

The Tracys nodded and entered the room, shivering at the abrupt coldness of the berths compared to the rest of the rooms earlier. It had pale olive green walls, tall, thin lockers for storing their items and bunk shelves complete with a thick foam mattress.

There were three levels to the bunks - beds near the ground, middle and near the top.

"Dibs on the top bunk," squeaked Alan as he quickly walked over to the nearest one.

"Hey - I get one," said Gordon.

Scott laughed. "There's enough for all of us to be on the top bunk if we want," he said, though he was going to stay on the middle bunk.

"Not me - I'm not going to fall out and get a concussion," said John, who wisely chose the lowest bunk, which lay about eight inches off the ground.

They chatted and laughed as they wandered around the quarters, choosing and making up their bunks before stuffing their lockers.

After a few minutes, Gordon and Alan walked around to look at where everyone selected to sleep.

Turning one corner, Alan sniggered at the sight in front of him while Gordon coughed to keep from laughing outright.

"Um, International Rescue, we have a situation," the aquanaut said, though his tone was not as serious as the comment would normally entail.

Still though, Scott went into smother hen mode and walked around to the bunks the youngest duo were at, while John followed, interested himself.

When they reached the others, Scott did all he could to keep a serious face himself.

He barely kept it.

"Um Virgil - what on earth possessed you to try and claim a top bunk yourself?" he asked.

The medic was stuck halfway in and out of the bunk, using his feet on the lower bunk to keep the metal edges from pressing into his gut.

In spite of Virgil's wishes and dreams to finally sleep on a top bunk, his large, muscular frame was just too broad to fit through the space between the safety bar, ladder and bed.

"Looks like Papa Bear forgot that those beds are too small for him," said Gordon, laughing.

"Very funny Squidface... can you guys give me a hand?" muttered Virgil.

The brothers laughed and helped assist Virgil down from the top bunk. The man then wisely chose to do the middleman choice and choose the middle bunk - still higher off the ground, but much more space as no bar was needed. He even double checked by effortlessly pulling himself into the bunk, silencing any further teases from Gordon.

Once they ensured everything was in place, and in the cases of the IR uniforms locked in the lockers, Scott turned and faced the others, smiling. "OK - let's take a journey through time... starting with the flight deck," said Scott.

"Of course - got to go see your girlfriends... FAB birthday boy," teased Virgil, and they headed up toward the hangar deck to go on the bridge/flight deck tour.

••••••

To Be Continued …

#thunderbirds are go #gordon tracy #john tracy #virgil tracy #scott tracy #alan tracy

[depulsorpg]

PLOT DROP 002

OCTOBER 3RD-9TH.

The weeks following a tragedy can only be described as such: emotional, crippling, & eye-opening. No one can hide behind rose-colored glasses anymore. Not when the shadows have come alive to claim such an innocent soul. And maybe that’s what is most frightening: Xenophilius Lovegood was innocent. He never had a say on the matters of such dark topics. He was neutral. He stuck to only the strange and curious things he found in the world. That is what made him happy. But now, he is gone. And the only question on everyone’s mind has been why. Why? Why? Why? Why? … And Who?

Maybe there is no good answer, though. Maybe things just have to come to an end. Even when it is the last thing on earth anyone wants.

But maybes aren’t good enough for those still alive. The lack of answers to this sudden death has stirred many… reactions. For the more delicate souls: tears have welled up in eyes until they became puffy, red, and irritated. Their answer became hiding beneath the comfort of thick blankets as their tears soaked the bedsheets beneath. “Tears are the best medicine,” they would whimper out as they lost themselves to their mourning. For those less, well, delicate: cigarettes have been used as disguises to hide exuberant smiles and smother the sounds of hideous laughter. They have come to swallow their joy until night falls. In the night, hidden like a kiss shared beneath secret lovers, their unnatural desires and joy come to light. To them death was beautiful. It was meant to be celebrated as much as life.

But, it wasn’t beautiful. It didn’t take your breath away in the right way. It paralyzed. It robbed most of their joy. It gave some the will to finally fight. The truth wasn’t beautiful, but it was galvanizing. It was a call to arms for those who had begun to fall asleep to the war raging right outside their very doors.

Now they demand answers. They demand action out of the Aurors where there has seemed to be very little. For all the students in the castle know, the room of requirement has been scrubbed clean and the body sent to the ministry then the morgue. Answers became vague, professors became secretive, and students became disheartened or frustrated. There’s a killer loose in the halls, after all, and nothing seems to be getting done. And doesn’t there feel like something should be done? Classes carried on. Clubs held meetings. The first quidditch match of the season has been announced. All such normal things… yet nothing felt normal anymore.

We certainly can’t mourn forever. But, this felt almost wrong. And why hasn’t the headmaster made any announcements since last week? Why hasn’t he been seen? Why hasn’t Filch?

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10TH.

The Quidditch pitch is drained of blue and green. As far as the eye can see, there is only red and gold. Most snakes couldn’t be bothered to watch the badgers fall to the lions, again. Some still went with hopes of seeing Gryffindor’s pride shaken were they to lose. The claws found more joy in the peaceful silence that would overtake the library with many of the students outside today. They knew they could shove their noses in a plethora of books without being disturbed, for once. But there were still a few, too, who preferred a nice day out in the sweltering sun, a light October chill cooling the back of their necks as they pressed in close towards the people around them to catch all they could of the game. It wasn’t the most anticipated game of the season, but it was the first one and, after the last few weeks Hogwarts had, it drew a crowd larger than expected.

Madam Hooch’s voice rings loud, and shrill, in everyone's’ ears.

“Mount your brooms, please.” A pause. Goggles get yanked down from the top of heads to shield eyes from the bitter winds. Legs immediately swing over broomsticks. Then, “Gryffindor. Hufflepuff. I expect a nice, clean game.” She stops, giving a more pointed glare towards the children in red who roll their eyes. “Now… Let’s begin.”

Brooms zip into the air as Hooch releases all four balls from the central circle. The Quaffle being the last as it is thrown into the air personally by Madam Hooch to signal the start of play. The Seekers, Florence and Ted, are quick to narrow their focus solely to the Golden Snitch as the world descends into the usual madness around them.

SCORES: Gryffindor scores 11 times ( Marlene - 4, Theo - 2, James - 3, & Substitute Beater - 2). Hufflepuff scores 6 times ( Ludo - 3, Benjy - 1, Greta - 1, & Daisy - 1). Ted Tonks catches the Golden Snitch by leaping from his broom to win the game.

BLOCKS: Edgar Bones blocks 13 attempts at goal, narrowly missing 3 of those blocks and having 1 really close call where he almost fell from his broom to block the Quaffle. Gideon Prewett blocks 9 attempts at goal, narrowly missing 2 of those blocks.

PENALTIES: None.

INJURIES: Roman Wilkes was missing from play due to being too sick. Marlene has a bruised rib from a Quaffle hit via Greta. Ludo has a sprained wrist from getting his bat stuck momentarily between Theo’s arms & broomstick. Benjy has a broken finger from Theo lobbing a Bludger at him which he blocked with his hand.

FINAL SCORES: Gryffindor with 110. Hufflepuff with 210. Hufflepuff wins! An unexpected upset for the Gryffindors.

The game was the perfect excuse. Nobody would expect a crowd to go to a game featuring Hufflepuff’s team. Most would have written it off, and that’s what they had done. That is exactly why Bellatrix Black, the Dark Lord’s Lieutenant, had called for a Death Eater meeting and Roman Wilkes had feigned sickness for the past two days. All so fifteen could gather, swathed in dark cloaks and glued to the shadows cast from the tall trees of the Forbidden Forest. There wasn’t a worry for the beasts that lurk in the woods or of being caught tonight. They were the most dangerous beasts there, after all, and they wouldn’t hesitate to obliviate the memories of any who wandered too close.

Fifteen formed a spacious circle in a large clearing of the woods. There are few curious glances and other more dangerous smirks; a couple almost buzzing with excitement. None knew why they were there. None except for Bellatrix.

Bellatrix who wore a twisted smile, her hand affectionately landing on Regulus’ shoulder as she gives an appraising look to each and every one of them. She stares down her nose at them. Two who had recently earned her warped approval for taking part in the death of Xenophilius while others had more work to been done. Now. She was done waiting and, apparently, so was their Lord. Letting go of her cousin’s shoulder, she steps into the middle of the circle and kicks at the black sack carelessly tossed there by herself earlier. Something lets out a low moan when she does. It causes another riotous smirk to briefly flash across her lips before she lets her arms spread out wide, palms up to the sky.

“Here we are. All gathered.” She looks at each of them again. Her eyes stop on Damon’s. “The time has come for action. Our Lord has told me of his plans and those plans include Hogwarts.” She snaps her head towards the direction of the castle. “The castle is theirs. He wants it to be his.” She snaps her head back towards Alecto this time, “So it will be his.” She moves towards Snape, her pointed nails curling and practically digging into the back of his neck. “Which means no more wavering sympathies or hesitation to act. You will act,” she turns to look at Walden behind her as her nails still dig, tearing at Severus’ skin. “He wants chaos. He wants distractions. He wants more blood as he makes his move towards the castle. Got it.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. Each of them would deliver or there would be severe consequences. The Dark Lord didn’t tolerate disobedience.

Letting go of Snape, she makes her way back towards the black sack and curls her fingers in a motion that signals for Rabastan to join her at her side. He wraps his hand around the opening of the sack as he does. Bellatrix gives one final unpleasant look at the lot. “Let Hogwarts know what devotion looks like. Let them think they know what true terror feels like until the moment our Lord arrives.” With that, she walks deeper into the forest. Rabastan three steps behind as he drags the sack through the dirt and over roots and stones that stir more whimpers of pain.

MIDNIGHT OCTOBER 11TH-30TH.

A Forbidden Forest half the world away grows silent, members disperse to begin the next step. Create fear. Create unrestrained destruction. Now isn’t the time for child’s play, but for boys to become men as they fulfill the Dark Lord’s simple request.

The walls will quake with this one sacred truth: the Dark Lord has let his bloodhounds loose.

OOC INFORMATION CAN BE FOUND UNDER THE CUT.

There’s certainly been much unrest for the students — angry, sad, many emotions yet the castle seems to keep moving on. But will the students? Hufflepuff triumphed over Gryffindor at the Quidditch game surprisingly and in the midst of this game, the Death Eaters have all been given an important task to do. Will the Order simply sit back and let this happen — or will they begin to step up and refuse to let the chaos happen? We’ll have to see.

You will be allowed to create threads (so that means both replying to starters and creating your own) for this plot drop!

Please tag your starters with DEPULSOSTARTER.

The in-game dates for this plot drop are MONDAY, OCTOBER 3RD-SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30TH.

#depulsoplotdrop

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 18

[*Meanwhile, in the modern world*]

A sleep deprived, messy Judy Neutron was screaming at the RPD (Retroville Police Department) through the phone, accompanied by a sane, and frightened, Mrs. Dean.

"What do you mean there's still no lead?! I don't care how early in the morning it is! Shouldn't you boys be doing your job?! Whatever happened to serve and protect?! It's been a week since I've lost my Jamie!" "Jimmy." Mrs. Dean corrected. "Jimmy, I mean! My son Jimmy! For being gone that long, who knows what has happened to him?! He's got a gourd shaped head, and an ice cream cowlick hairdo! How is that hard for you to miss?! Yeah? Well then, search around the globe if you have to-"

The RPD then hung up. Poor Judy. It was 5:00 in the morning. She literally won't rest until she finds her son in one piece. She hasn't bathed in five days, and tried using perfume instead. Sleep meant nothing to her no more, so she drinks at least three cups of coffee a day. Possibly more. She hasn't cooked in awhile, either. Just ordering takeout and reheating frozen foods. It isn't like Judy to not prepare a home cooked meal for more than one day. She's been pulling all nighters, circling the whole town, or country, in her car, stapling posters everywhere, and searching for her Jimmy. She's like a detective on a stakeout. All this lack of rest has turned her mind loopy. For some unknown reason, she keeps accidentally addressing "Jimmy" as "Jamie." Apart from the fact that Nick is gone too, Mrs. Dean is also there as Judy's emotional support.

"Judy, you need to calm down. Here, have some warm tea." "Calm down? Calm down! There's no time to calm down, now that I know that the RPD isn't any help!" "There's always time to calm down. Wherever your son is, he's probably fine for now! He's smart enough to take care of himself." "How would you know?! Your son isn't lost!" "Technically, he is." "Oh... But are you even making an effort to find him?" "I'm doing what I can to find him! The reason I came up to you to begin with was to figure out what my son has in connection with yours!" "Shouldn't you be able to know that yourself? You are his mother, right? A mother always knows her child best!" "If I could! Nick is easy to read as a closed book. We don't communicate so often. I think it has something to do with his father being so unpleasant." "You can save me the sob story for later! I gotta phone the next police department!" "No! Stop!" "I must find Jamie!" "Jimmy!" "My name is Judy, dammit!"

................................

[*That morning*]

Jimmy fell asleep with the diary laying on his face. While both him and Nick usually wake up by the rooster's cry, Nick removed the diary and shook him awake.

"Nick? Is it breakfast time?" "No, not yet. You gotta help me." "*Looks at the broom in his hands* You need help cleaning?" "I need you to help me from HER."

Nick was then surprised by a hard smack on the back, by a mop. Sally was trying to fight with him, in hopes to help the "Silver Knight" regain his memory. All Nick has done so far was block out her attacks. Not that he would make a lousy swordsman, he just can't bring himself to hit someone much younger than him. Instead of actual swords, their using cleaning implements. The battle begun when Sally woke Nick up with a smack on the chest. No matter what he told her, she just wouldn't believe him.

"Fight back, Nick! Trying knocking the weapon out of my hand! It might give you some nostalgia!" "Little girl, we're not a pair of enchanted cartoon characters! We're just two lost boys from the future! I'll prove it to you! Cageflix! Ramen Bowl! Internet!" "Stop making up excuses to back out and fight me!" "You're four years younger than me!"

Jimmy then broke up the fight.

"Hey, Sally?" Asked Jimmy. "Yes?" Replied Sally. "Wouldn't you like to meet our friends? You know, the ones who illegally inherit this ranch?" "But we're in the middle of something!" "You must meet them now, cuz if you don't, they might think we're holding a hostage captive." "Yeah. And we already have this mean Christian fanatic who thinks we're the devil's spawns." Said Nick.

Rolling her eyes, Sally then put down her mop, and decided to let Jimmy and Nick lead her into the hut. To make a good impression for keeping a stranger, Nick began to make breakfast: Moose sandwiches, blueberry strudels, and freshly squeezed orange juice. He also put on some coffee. Sally began to drool from looking at Nick's fine art.

"It looks great! Guess you learned something while under amnesia! Although, it'd really be fun to see Jimmy, here, turn a morsel of meat into a whole cured ham before my eyes." Said Sally, clutching a knife and fork.

Jimmy got annoyed by her comment, since he doesn't exactly believe in magic. Just in time, a weary Diana, Rodent Girl, and Benson entered the kitchen. Sally was intrigued by Diana's appearance. She has never seen a woman that large before. Rodent Girl went over to the cupboard to fetch her coffee mug. Being so drowsy, she spoke in her usual, monotone morning voice, and greeted Sally like she was a regular to them. Diana and Benson were both shocked to see a little girl, they've never seen before, in their kitchen. The two stood in silence for a few seconds, and frankly so did Jimmy, Nick, and Sally.

"Morning, Jimmy. Morning, Nick. Morning, kid I don't even know." Greeted a tired Rodent Girl. "Uhhhhhh, Miss Oona... Aren't you the slightest surprised at the unexpected guest?" Asked Benson. "I'm too tired to emote."

Diana looked Sally straight in the eye. Sally was frozen from the buff lady's eye contact, despite that she didn't look ominous.

"Hello?" Asked Diana. "H-hi?" Replied Sally. "HOLY, MACARONI! THERE'S A KID WE DON'T KNOW SITTING RIGHT HERE IN OUR KITCHEN!" Screamed Rodent Girl, after drinking her coffee.

Jimmy then decided to explain the whole thing, and Nick served as his second voice. The two boys told them about how this little girl followed them due to some misidentification for a Wise Wizard and Silver Knight ("It's not a misidentification! It's true!"), how they welcomed her into their hospitality since her parents were caught victim of a penalty, and how she's under no one's care because it's illustrated by king's law that orphans must serve their entire youth in laborism. Diana was so moved by Sally's backstory. She started sobbing, her eyes watered, and she swept the little girl off the ground.

"*Weeping* How can any man be so cruel, as to separate a child away from their family?! They may never experience the warm embrace of a mother or father ever again! That is so INHUMAN!" Said Diana. "I'm terribly sorry for your loss, young lady." Benson spoke casually. "I second that." And so did Rodent Girl. "That's it?! What on Earth is wrong with you two?! This child's parents have been hanged, all for the greater good! Could you try showing at least a small dose of your sympathy?!" "I find that very difficult, since my parents have always neglected me." Benson replied casually. "And I was abandoned at birth." And SO did Rodent Girl. "You heartless brutes!"

Diana then put Sally down.

"Little girl...!" Said Diana. "This little girl has a name, you know." Replied Sally. "...I don't care if I have to steal overtime to feed another mouth around here! Consider us your new family!" "Uhh, thanks! Very much! (That's neat! A buff mom, a mousy older sister, and a girly uncle!)" "Let me introduce everyone! I'm Diana! This is Rodent Girl, Benson, *Points out the window* Butterscotch, and there's Mitzi, but she's currently at work right now. You can meet her later! She's real nice! She may be even nicer to you. You've already met Jimmy and Nick!" "The legendary Wise Wizard and Silver Knight!" "What now?" Asked Rodent Girl. "No, we're not! It's just a coincidence! I don't even believe in magic!" Exclaimed Jimmy. "The Wise Wizard and Silver Knight. I thought their warm, loving relationship reminded me of some pair." Quote Benson. "HA! See?" Bragged Sally. "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me they were real?" Asked Nick. "Mm! I was just a tiny lad at that time. Although I've never really met them, I did follow them around among tall crowds, trying to get their autograph, since they were quite popular to the youngsters. I had no success, however. But witnessing the Silver Knight in battle, and the Wise Wizard with his gifted sorcery, that was about the happiest memory of my childhood." "You can meet them officially when I help them regain their memories back!" Suggested Sally. "Oh, these two young gentlemen can't possibly be them!" "I know it's hard to believe by first glance, but trust me! What you see here is a spell gone wrong! Heck, it's probably the cause of their amnesia!" "Nonsense! Besides, if that were them, why would they want to return here?" "They're here to rid us of our pain once again! Although they can't remember anything, they still hold their heroic instincts within their hearts, and their brains!" "We're not here to relieve anyone of their pain! Just Diana and her crew! (Minus Mitzi)" Said Jimmy. "And the reason we're risking our butts out there is because they were kind enough to offer us food and a roof to sleep under while other Middle Age folks just wanted to burn us at the stake!" Nick spoke through gritted teeth.

.............................

[*Back in the modern ages*]

Carl looked through his magic supplies one last time. He doesn't feel like performing again since Jimmy is still gone. Jimmy would've been the only person who would sit down to watch him, since he wasn't a very good magician. At all. He hasn't even found that darn rabbit yet. The guys on TV sure make it look easy. Suddenly, he heard the doorbell ring. As Carl went to answer it, he found it was Sheen, holding a pink paper box, with a grin on his face. Sheen was just about the second last person he wanted to see right now.

"What do you want?" Carl asked in displease. "Well, I just happened to walk by a local bakery downtown, and my sweet tooth just urged me to walk right in! While looking through the selections, I started thinking about you. So, I picked up your favorite pastry!" Replied Sheen. "Goat milk matcha pound cake?" "Nope! Cwaaaaaaaasonts!"

Sheen opened the box to reveal a baker's dozen of golden croissants. Carl was still unamused, and just decided to close the door. Sheen, however, stopped the door by sticking his foot out!

"Wait, Carl! I've spent $30.95 for the baker's dozen! I was gonna use that money to purchase a VespaGirl body pillow online!" "You think you can just buy my friendship back with some baked, buttery, crispy, delectable... *Mouth starts to water* But you can't! What you had said broke my heart! Jimmy is important to my life just as you were!" "I am important to your life?" "I said 'were!' Now get off my doorstep!"

Carl then went to close the door again, but with all strength this time to keep Sheen from getting in, since he was holding a box. Sheen had to drop the croissants to force the door open.

"Carl! Carl! At least let me tell you something!" "I've heard about enough from you!" "But I came here to say I'm sorry!" "What?"

Carl opened the door wide.

"I'm sorry. Taking back everything I've ever said to you. I didn't know Jimmy meant that much to your life. You two were very close together more than any pair I knew. Possibly even the romantic ones. Also, I miss you, buddy. I'm lonely. I have Libby, but I can't be disgusting and foolish around her now, can't I? Look; Just because Jimmy can't be my friend, doesn't mean he can't be yours. We could still hang as pals, even with Jimmy around. I mean, we never liked Cindy, but we still tolerated her presence. *Gets down on his knees* Please, take me back. All those degrading words were just my invalid opinion. Nothing I say is even true."

Carl hesitated for a bit, while Sheen looked up at him, sweating. The allergy boy just closed the door. Sheen, being so heartbroken, hung his head down. Way before Jimmy came into their lives, him and Carl were the best of friends. Although Carl didn't like Ultralord, and Sheen thought llamas were too weak and soft, they both spoke to each other on the same mindset. The two were goofy and idiotic. Carl became friends with Jimmy after feeling sorry for the big haired misfit. A few months later, Sheen also became Jimmy's friend after he helped him pass the math test his grade depended on. The boy genius was more generous and considerate back then. Also, he discovered the cool gadgets he built. As they officially formed a trio, Carl and Sheen were more closer than ever. Jimmy was a bonus addition. That didn't mean he loved Jimmy less. Except maybe right now.

What's he gonna do without Carl in his life? He loves Libby, but he feels he doesn't have that much in common with her. She dedicates her life to fashion and music. Sheen dedicates his life to Ultralord and gross stuff. Around Carl, he feels that he can truly be himself with. Who else could want Sheen as a friend? Sheen seems to annoy everyone. That kid with the shades kinda admires him? Nah! He was probably just being polite. There's his dad. Awww, who is he kidding? You can't have your own father as a friend! Just then, Sheen heard the door reopen. Carl was back, but now clutching an old llama plush, that's missing an eye.

"If you're truly sorry, then how 'bout apologizing to Lucy the Llama as well?" "C'mon, Carl! That was five years ago!" "Well. I guess you're not sorry at all-" "Wait! I was only kidding! I love Lucy!"

Sheen then seized the plush toy out of Carl's hand.

"Lucy; I'm sorry for ripping your left eye out. My Triclops figurine needed it so badly, and it would've been embarrassing to face off Ultralord with only two eyes."

Then, Sheen planted a kiss on the toy's forehead. Carl was quite astounded. He didn't think Sheen would go that far. Sheen hates Lucy the Llama. As Sheen gave Carl his plush back, the allergy boy embraced his friend into a hug. Sheen returned it by folding his arms around him.

"Apology accepted. But you can't say anything mean about Jimmy no more!" "Promise! Now let's go find that whippy dip head son of a gun together! Sorry, that wasn't suppose to sound mean." "Right on!"

Just as they were about to leave the Wheezer doorstep, Carl picked up as many croissants he could hold. Even though they've been on the dirty ground, Carl didn't mind taking a bite out of them. He thought they were still good. Sheen cringed in disgust. A kid named Creg suddenly rolls by on his skateboard, gets himself into an accident, then breaks his leg.

"Why are so many of these kids breaking their legs?!" Screamed Sheen. "Probably because Nick's not here to do it?" Replied Carl.

.............................

[*At the Neutron household*]

Mrs. Dean finally got Judy to calm down. All she had to do was request her to tell her stories about her son, as many as she wants. She figured she would get Judy to relax with anything Jimmy related. She even managed to get her to drink the tea she made. For the last two hours, Mrs. Dean grew bored listening to Judy's stories all day, about Jimmy's tangled situations. If she listens to any more, she fears she'll also go insane in this mad house.

"So on that Sunday, I was there doing my weekend cleaning. Jimmy was watching his favorite philosophy program. He suddenly got hungry, and asked me, a woman with her hands full at that moment, to fetch him a snack. I said, 'Well, there must be something wrong with your arms if you can't get it yourself.' He then pulled out one of his wacky inventions from under the sofa, a robotic arm of some sort, and attempted to reach for his needed snack. Unfortunately for him, the controls were infirm, resulting in reckless steering. He knocked down potted plants, china, Hugh's duck collection, etc. My perfectly clean house. Then there was this night, that happened two years ago. Mr. Vortex, I know his forename I just don't care, delivered me my son, wrapped in a toilet paper cocoon. His daughter also brought back one of his invention, some cannon that launches TP rolls, and she claimed he used it to foil her slumber party. I can't believe I punished him for it. I never even liked that Cindy. Jimmy sure had the right idea breaking things off with her. What did he even see in that ungrateful witch anyways? Why were they even dating at such a young age?! They're not even in middle school yet!" "There was this other time-" "Hugh, get back down!" "Okay!"

Mrs. Dean was finally put into relieve as Libby ran straight into the house, with news. Carl and Sheen were behind her.

"MRS. NEUTRON! MRS. NEUTRON! Hello, Mrs. Dean. MRS. NEUTRON!" Libby came in screaming. "Not now, Libby. Can't you see the grown ups are talking?" Said Judy. "It's about Jimmy!" "MY JIMMY?!" "And Nick!" "HUH-?!" Mrs. Dean fell off from her seat. "I can't take the credit though! I owe it to these two companions! Especially you, Sheen. *Blows kiss*" "What did we ever do? We see the famous pop star, Rioona, pull up in her limo to cut the ribbon for the new RnB themed cafe. Libby starts getting jumpy, squealing 'OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! IT'S RIOONA! PULLING UP JUST WHEN WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT INVESTIGATION! I DON'T WANNA LEAVE! I WANNA STAY FOR A MINUTE! MAYBE A FEW HOURS!' And then I said, 'Why not just take a picture? It lasts longer.'" Said Carl. "By just those words alone, that gave me a brain blast of my own! (Oooooooh, I just rhymed) By the way, I've got about 164 shots of Rioona opening the cafe! I even got myself in some of the shots! Look!"

Judy just slapped the phone out of Libby's hand. Everyone was intimidated, except Carl, who was in love with her more. What a woman.

"Just tell me where my baby is!" "Okay... You see, by just the sheer mention of 'picture,' that's when it hit me! I forgot, we all forgot, Jimmy had his security cams activated, and they were still working by the time I revisited the lab! ...which looked like either a tornado hit it or Cindy got her revenge again. I managed to extract the footage onto my hard drive! Look!"

Libby opened up her laptop, then inserted the hard drive. The footage began to play on media player. There was Jimmy and Nick, handcuffed together, trying to find a solution to undo the chain. Nick touched the keyboard, despite Jimmy's warning. The security breach got triggered, weapons engaged, and the two boys ran into a police box, which is supposedly the boy genius's time machine. The machine vanished, and all was history. We searched all around Retroville for nothing?

"So... It was your son's fault that my Jimmy is gone." Said Judy. "What?! I'm pretty sure Nick didn't know about this installed security system! If only Jimmy took the liberty to tell him!" Replied Mrs. Dean. "Oh, so you're saying it is Jimmy's fault?!" "WHO CARES ABOUT WHOSE FAULT IT IS?! We've lost them both and there's possibly no way to get them back. None of us is a secondary Einstein, and it's not like you could purchase a time machine on the web!" "Apparently, yes you can." Said Libby. "What?!" Both mothers.

While Judy and Mrs. Dean were arguing, Libby pulled up Cbae.com on her laptop and searched "time machine." You can surprisingly buy anything off of Cbae. But, just their luck, it costs $500,000,000, plus $100,000 for shipping. No use in trying to search a cheaper deal, because that's the only one available.

"But none of us have that kind of money!" Said Judy. "Maybe if we put together all of our money, we could make it work! *Starts digging into his pockets* I have $16, 42¢, a wrapper from a Chuckles bar, some bobby pins, lint, hey, it's the key to the handcuffs!" Spoke Carl, trying to help. "Oh, like that's gonna help us now!" Whined Sheen. "Calm down, y'all. I know where we can get that money. But, it may involve something we're going to regret." Said Libby. "*Gasp* You don't mean..."

............................

[*Elsewhere, in Eustace Strych's living room*]

"So you want me, formal enemy of Jimmy Neutron, to lend you a total amount of $500,100,000?" Said Eustace. "So none of us is selling our bodies? What a relief!" Sheen blurted. "I think you should stay off the internet for awhile." Libby suggested. "What's the catch?" Eustace continued to question the adults. "You see, it's for a very, very, important cause, young man." Judy answered. "And how important may that be? Hmmmmmm?" "Well-" "My son, Nick, needs an operation! He's broken his legs numerous times, but eventually both of them have ripped out from their sockets! Gruesomely! Blood everywhere! The hospital is charging me that much to reattach his legs back, plus to get him out of his coma! The prices are so high because of the evil greediness of capitalism! They don't even care about children! Please have a heart! He's Jimmy's friend, too!" Mrs. Dean butted in. "Ha-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, what makes you think I'd even care to support a charity cause for some washed up has-been? Like anybody would care anymore. I don't support any charity cause, for that matter. Giving to the needy means less for me. Besides, me and Neutron don't exactly have the best history together. On second thought, if you want that money so badly, you're gonna have to bring Neutron right here, have him beg to me, and apologize for underestimating my superiority to his genius!" "We can't!" "Why not?" "Because, h-he's trying to invent a new life saving device!" "Well, No Neutron, no money! Guess I'll have to buy myself a third water park!"

The squad then went to the hall to talk.

"What are we gonna do now?" Asked Judy. "Does he know Jimmy is missing?" Also, asked Mrs. Dean. "Frankly, not. But if he ever does, we may never get that money." Replied Libby. "We're not gonna get that cash anyways. How are we gonna bring Jimmy out here?" Carl whined. "WAIT! There was something useful Jimmy actually taught me, a long time ago!" Sheen had an idea.

He then requested Goddard to project a life-like hologram of Jimmy, just like what happened at his tenth birthday party. Judy felt like crying, seeing that the hologram looks exactly like her son. She even wanted to touch it. Sheen then told her to stay focused, and handed her a voice moduling microphone. Goddard ejected a hand sized camera drone and displayed his teleprompter. He then got the hologram to march to Eustace's location. It then met with him in the living room.

"Ah, Neutron! I thought you'd show here eventually. What's wrong? Did that lifesaver of yours turn out to be a failure?" "Yes, indeed. I don't know what could've happen, but maybe I'm not as smart as I used to." "Like you ever were." "You're right. And I'm here to say I am sorry for getting in the way of your plans. I'm sorry for looking through your integrity. You have showed me that it's not about the brains. It's about what you can buy. I am selfish. I'm a loser. I suck and you rule." "The sweet sound of music!" "I'm not worthy of friends and that's probably why Cindy broke up with me for." "Didn't know you two were actually dating. You don't strike me as a boy who has a way with the ladies." "You're absolutely right! Now, will you please, please, lend me the money, so I can help my poor, hurt, dying reject of a friend?" "Well, I suppose you have amused me enough." "*Judy accidentally whispers into the microphone* What a spoiled little brat." "Excuse me?!" "I said I soiled my pants cuz I'm a brat." "Oh. Hurry up and take your money before you start leaking onto my carpet!"

Eustace ordered his butler to fetch the money. He then came back with a huge sack of cash. The hologram wouldn't be able to hold it, so Judy and Mrs. Dean quickly entered the scene to grab the sack.

"Thank you very much, kind sir! *Looks at the hologram* Jimmy, I am both proud and disappointed in you, my son! C'mon, we have a has-been to save!" Said Judy, then they took a run for it.

#Jimmy Neutron #Boy Genius #Nick Dean #Cindy Vortex #Libby Folfax #Carl Wheezer #Sheen Estevez #Season 4 #fanfic #romance #adventure #TVverse #TVEE

[newsiegirlscout]

A Summer of the Ages

Hey-yo! I’m sorry to say this is my “finale” of sorts to Captain Underpants fanfiction, but my-oh-my, was it a ride. 

This is a continuity to all my previous fanfictions: Last One Chosen, Of Rooks and Pawns, (Commission), and Nerdsitting. 

Without further ado....onto the fic!

In every neighborhood, there’s bound to be a house with a child nobody really knew growing up. It wasn’t that he kept to himself, necessarily-in fact, you and he probably went to the same school, crafted the same bird feeders, and wished on the same dandelions. It’s just that, well....he was certainly not of the same kind.

Sometimes you have to be your own hero, because sometimes the people you can’t live without can live without you.

Behind him, the door swung open unceremoniously and hit the side of his desk. The boy tensed, instinctively pressing his hand against the spine of his novel.

“Hey, Melvin.”

Behind him stood the not-terribly-surprising figures of his acquaintances, George and Harold.

Melvin bristled visibly as he pulled a strand of his hair and marked his place.

“Beard. Hutchins. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Harold looked at him blankly until his accomplice punched him in the arm.

“Dude. He means, what the heck are we doing here. But in adult language.”

“Oh….OHHHHHHHH. Okay. We kinda left your garage door open after we destroyed a few dozen timelines. It’s like, two days later and you still haven’t noticed, so we figured you were either reading or dead.” he shrugged, “Anyhow. Wanna come hang out?”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Harold began briefly before George cut him off midword.

“It’s summer vacation, genius! You might have heard of it. It means you don’t have to think anymore.”

He sighed and put his hands up in mock-defeat, a smile playing in his hazel eyes.

“Alright, then. I’m bringing my book, though.”

###################################

“Sooooo, do ya’ like her?” Harold giggled.

Melvin cocked his head to the side in an expression of pure confusion. “Whom?”

“Stephanie, of course! You’ve been cow-eying her like, all year! Remember when she did that presentation on Madame Curie and you fell out of your chair?”

The redhead’s face flushed a cherry-blossom pink.

“I simply forgot to clean my glasses that day….her presentation was one of the best, and I was trying to get a better view of her visual aids and diagrams. I was leaning forward, and my chair slipped.”

His companion raised one eyebrow.

“Melv. C’mon. You go cross-eyed when you lie. George? Is that a penalty?”

Beside him, he raised his hand and shook it slightly.

“Yeah, sorry, man. Mr. Hutchins?” he laughed, getting to one knee and bringing his hand to his chest as akin to a high-class businessman placing an order.

“Yes, Mr. Beard?” he replied through his bubbling laughter, returning the gesture.

“Would you kindly retrieve the Deactivation Sequence?”

Harold tittered softly and shook his head, casting a last glance towards his friend. “Awwww, sorry, dude.”

“Wait….what are you two up to?”

The neighborhood was filled with an anguished howl.

In the treehouse, Melvin sat shivering, drenched head to foot in ice water. His bangs plastered to his forehead, he tried in futility to dry his glasses for a minute or two before giving up.

“I hate you both.”

They chuckled while the evening breeze lightly rustled the wind chimes in the yard.

“Love ya’ too, Melvin.”

###########################

The cheery sounds of INDY 500 racers, laser rifles, and the occasional chime of a winning score ran through the arcade. Behind the duo of notorious Piqua fame, their bespectacled associate was being led blindfolded across the kaleidoscopically patterned carpet to, as it seemed to be, a particular location.

Once at arrival, George twirled him by the hand into a ballroom-style embraced dip, then flamboyantly removed his blindfold to reveal the gaily-colored interior of the Midway Tesla arcade reservation space.

“George and Harold, there are 171, 476 words in the current English language and none of them can describe how much I continue to be utterly bewildered at your antics. Should I ask why you decided to reserve an arcade’s solitary non-vociferous room out of occasion?”

In unison, the two turned to each other blankly.

“I’m gonna pretend you asked why we got the party room even though it’s not our birthdays.” said Harold, bouncing happily on one foot, “And the answer is, we have our ways.”

Taking Melvin’s scrawny wrist in his own, he peered at the time and released him, pulling light-blue visors emblazoned with pixelated lightning bolts from his bookbag and passing one to George. Beside him, he thanked his friend, withdrew their trademark sunglasses and name tags (on multicolored lanyards, of course) from his pocket, and passed the yellow-and-green patterned badge to Harold.

No more than perhaps a minute later after they’d clambered onto the nearest table, a lanky counselor with frizzly chestnut hair, a smattering of scruff about his features and a pinstriped button-up shirt came in.

“Boys.” he said plainly, tipping down his sunglasses in amusement.

“Walter.” they replied, returning the gesture prior to tucking their Ray-Bans into their pockets.

The three bumped fists with their coworker, turned, kicked the flats of their shoes together, slapped alternate hands, repeated with the converse digits, and lifted their hands as if celebrating a team accomplishment.

“So, we’ve got a special-”, Walter said, then burst into laughter and wiped a tear from his eye, “Sorry, I just...I just love how you two stand on a table to get eye contact with me. That’s like, a zillion shades of awesome. Anyhow. We’ve got a dozen kids coming in for a Cartoon Network Block Party theme, and we need to make sure we’ve got the wheelchair ramp, restocked the prize counter, and cleaned the syrup container. You guys got that?”

“Got’cha covered.” George called back, “Walt, if you get the syrup, we’ll work on the decorations and prize counter.”

“Sure thing, captain.” the teen replied, sending a salute to the boys. Withdrawing a rag from his back pocket, he whistled an eight-bit melody and headed towards the back counter.

Harold kicked the wheelchair access into place, then joined his companion whispering something that appeared to be of humor judging from the hushed laughter emanating from the pastel-papered supply cabinet.

“Em...hello?” asked Melvin tentatively, stopping only to nudge the ramp a quarter-inch to the left, “May I ask what you find so amusing?”

A wide gap-toothed grin spread across Harold’s features, and he leaned over to ruffle Melvin’s hair. (He, however, in response, was quick to swat his hand in all seriousness.) “Welcome to your first day on the job, Melv. At least, you’re gonna help us. We need these posters and streamers and stuff hung up, so George gets the Powerpuffs, I’m on Foster’s Home, and you….”

George tossed him a poster tube and a set of vials, trying hard to keep a straight face.

“...You get Dexter.” he finished.

###########################

“Ladies and gentlemen!”, George announced, tapping the microphone clipped to his collar, “Hello, and welcome, to Dav’s birthday party!”

A cheer spread through the room until Harold stepped closer to the host, a boy about four feet tall with a wide grin spread across his features.

“How old are you, Dav?”

“I’m ten! Who’s the new guy?”

The boy laughed. “Ah, ten. Good year. As for your other question, this is Melvin. Little short, but you know, he recently got crushed under all his books. Guess he’s only got his shelf to blame.”

From the back, a few of the kids giggled. Behind the duo, Melvin leaned back on the table, unamused. Harold wasted no time in reaching back, and, with a flick of his wrist, escorting his friend forward.

“Mel, kindly greet these children. Stop being antisocial club president.”

He raised his hand slowly in a wave, then retired it to his side.

“I’m not antisocial, I’m just not user-friendly.”

George, opposite them, took the opportunity to tap his mike and rejoin the chaos.

“You know, Melvin does make horrible science puns, but only periodically. He might act like a solitary bird, but really, he’s thrilled. It’s really hootiful. Dav, you know any card tricks?”

Dav giggled and shook his head, eyes brightening when George produced a hand of cards.

“Alright, pick a card, any card!”

He complied.

“Now another…..and another…..”

After a moment or two, the young boy frowned.

“Hey, you asked if I knew any card tricks!”

George grinned. “And neither do I. But I think I know something that’ll make you Snicker….”

“Ah, sweet!” the boy cheered, taking a bite of the treat.

“Glad to see you smile, Davey Jones.” George giggled, “As to the rest of you dorks, we’re proud to announce that the arcade! Is! OPEN!”

A cheer went up amongst the crowd, and Melvin shrugged and made his way to the front past the barrage of children, handing them each a roll of tokens as if arming them for combat.

“Let your plans be as dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.” he quoted seriously with an edge of a grin.

When the last of the children left--a disabled girl with bouncy strawberry curls, Andrea--turned back, grinned, and saluted.

######################################

Back in the treehouse, the impromptu arcade counselors breathed a deep sigh of exhaustion in unison.

Looking up from his book, Walter chuckled. “I still can’t believe you seriously invited me over. Nice place you guys got, of course, but like…..I’m seventeen….don’t you have a ‘no-adults’” policy?”

Harold glared suspiciously towards him from the cooler in the back corner.

“Hey, Walt, adulthood, if you haven’t noticed, is kind of a choice over here. What I can’t believe is that Iris and Andrea actually got the big alien. Ten thousand points, right?”

“Fifteen.”, George called from the beanbag he appeared to have melted into, “That thing was almost as big as Andrea.”

“Dannnng….almost wouldn’t be surprised if it ate her. Good job, Team Fullmetal. George, Walt, Melvin? You guys thirsty?”

A fatigued sound of acclamation rang from all three corners of Tree House Comix, Inc.

“Sweet, alright. Sprites all around. Good job, team. Ice cream bars are, of course, coming...Walter, do you want Jake? Or Finn? Or are you a Cookie Cat kind of man?”

From a grave of pillows, he threw up his hand, gave a point, and a thumbs-up.

“You know it, my dudes. How many others memorized the entire thing and wrote like, five parodies pertaining to each of the Gems?”

Harold giggled softly and began to descend down the rope ladder.

“See, Cinders? This! This is why you’re with us!”

A pillow struck him weakly, but with accuracy.

“However big, however small, glad to be part of it all, Bubbles.”

Melvin looked back towards the teenager with an expression, though not the first, of utter confusion.

“Explain….please….?”

Walter sighed happily.

“Walter goes into Walt, which goes into Waltz. Waltzes are for Ballrooms, and Cinderella was famous for losing her slipper on the halls. Ergo, Cinders. And Harold…..well, you’ll see.”

Melvin cleaned his glasses on his shirt, then leaned back once more, flipping through his book to the mark.

“I shall never understand your kind, dear sir.”

“Frankly, the beauty of it…..is that neither will I.”

A few pages later, Harold swung into view, his left arm cradled to his chest.

“Gentlemen, I present….your prince!”

With a bounce in his step, he passed out the various ice cream bars to his comrades, stopping at Melvin with an unbranded ice cream sandwich and rubbing his arms sheepishly.

“Sorry, man. I wasn’t sure what you liked, so….”

He chuckled.

“Actually, this is perfect.”

“Alright!”, he cheered, joining his spot, “Powerpuff Girls?”

“Powerpuff Girls!” Walter echoed.

“Powerpuff Girls!” George followed enthusiastically.

“Uh…..Powerpuff Girls?” Melvin shrugged.

“Powerpuff Girls!”

George laughed zealously. “Commander Cheeseball, ready the VCR?”

“Signal given, second lieutenant Fluffy.”

“Guys….”, he turned, addressing the room, “It’s gonna get wild. Powerpuff Girls film in action!”

######################################

Late in the prime of the summer afternoon a week later, George was mildly startled to see a pale hand emerge from beneath the treehouse, put a call bell on the edge of the floor, and courteously double-ring it.

“Melvin, man, you can just come in.” Harold responded, cornflower blue eyes barely flickering from the image he was immersed in coloring.

“Well, some people-”, came the call from below them as their nerdy compatriot struggled to gain purchase on the rope ladder, one arm unavailable, “-weren’t raised to break into their classmate’s houses.”

Upon reaching the interior, he stood, revealing the formal charcoal suit and bow tie he was wearing, carded his fingers through his ginger hair, and shifted the sizable package occupying most of his strength to his hip.

“Stephanie’s birthday is today. Suit up.”

George sighed, and straightened his tie impulsively.

“Wait….June eighteenth? That’s today? Harold, when was the last time we looked at a calendar?”

Beside him, the boy in turn shrugged. “George, it’s summer vacation. You’re such a Melvin.”

“....I’m not even going to question that. She invited everyone in her homeroom, which includes you two, and yes, it is indeed June eighteenth. Since we only have two hours, I’m….”

George beamed.

“Oh, my goodness. Harold, please, find a calendar and mark this down. Melvin needs our help.”

The blond chuckled.

“I’m going to stand strong in my belief that you like-like her. Sooooo…..what’s in the bag? And do you seriously need help talking to girls? Are you allergic to like, fun or anything? And by ‘suit up’, you mean swimsuit, right?”

“I plead the fifth amendment. I’m allergic to dander, but I happen to know that she has a parakeet. I would bring a change of clothes if I were you, because you always show up at formal parties dressed in the zeitgeist. Finally, I heard her say once that she loves humor, so I did some research and brought ‘A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, and a few other personal favorites of mine…..’The End of Mr. Y’, ‘She Kills Monsters’, and ‘Radio Silence’....and a ten-dollar heart-shaped Starbucks gift card, if that’s….not too straightforward….”

He flushed scarlet and scraped the toe of his dress shoe against the pine floor, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harold grinned, then burst into teary-eyed laughter.

A second later, George followed.

For once, Melvin Sneedly was silent.

“Okay…..okay, man…..yeah, it’s okay to get her a heart Starbucks gift card. I promise, she’ll love it.” George said, wiping tears from his eyes and sighing his last, dangerously close to bursting into laughter once more.

“I’m going to assume you’re both prepared, and didn’t have plans to attend every formal event in t-shirts and shorts, if I may be so bold.”

George and Harold looked at each other with identical expressions of perplexity.

“.........”

###################################

“Melvin, why do you hate us?” Harold asked mournfully, tugging at his starched collar.

“Because that’s how you make an impression.” he responded instantly, somehow shifting the bag containing his change of clothes and the oversized present to the crook of his arm in one fluid movement purely to look at them over his glasses smugly.

From the walkway, a flag stuck out from the house like a full invitation, a cow’s nose pressed comically close to the viewer. The faint air of a catchy song (of which no one had ever managed to learn the lyrics) emanated from the yard, and a rainbow of balloons decorated the back gate.

Jumped in the cab,

Here I am for the first time

Look to my right and I see the Hollywood sign

This is all so crazy

Everybody seems so famous

George grinned and poised one finger on the latch.

“What’ya say, Mel? Ready to step into the unknown?”

Melvin straightened his bow tie and rubbed his palms on his waistcoat.

“Of course.”

################################################

Unbeknownst to the trio, across the yard, Stephanie sat cross-legged between her friends, eying the glass doors behind them warily.

Jessica Gordon giggled, trying in futility to smother her giggles and ending up looking more like she was attempting to eat her hand. “Okay, Stephers….truth or dare or don’t?”

“Don’t. Wow, guys. Thanks for playing. Are you going to give me a hand setting up the craft table?”

“Awwww, Steph, you always pick don’t.” Wendy Swan giggled.

Stephanie smirked and deftly threw a block of glycerin and a pocketknife into her friend’s arms.

“That’s what happens when you make the unwanted an option. What incredibly weird and personal question did you want to ask me?”

Jessica fell back on the lawn, followed shortly by her friend.

“Geez, that’s a bit anticlimactic.”

“Can you be anticlimactic while shredding the glycerin and sorting out the soap dyes and oils and stuff? We’re going to make rainbow soap…..assuming you crazy wyverns can organize a table.”

Jessica giggled, stuck out her tongue, and began dividing the glycerin base.

“Okay. Be honest with us…..do you like Melvin?”

“Melvin? Uh, you mean like Melvin Sneedly? With the cardigan and the bow tie, fourth-period science?”

“How many Melvins do you know? You’ve been blushing around him, like, all year! Remember that time you did that presentation on Marie Curie, and he like, fell out of his chair?”

Stephanie fiddled with her hair clip.

“He simply forgot to clean his glasses that day…..I’m sure he was just trying to get a better look at my visual aids and diagrams. His prescription is pretty blurry at points, you know.”

“Awwwww, c’mon, dude. You crinkle your nose when you lie. Jessica? Is that a penalty?”

The strawberry blond giggled and nodded. “Sorry, Stephanie. Miss Swan?”

“Yes, Miss Gordon?”

“Will you kindly retrieve the Decommission Progression?”

Wendy laughed and, with a skip of her heel, ran into the house. Stephanie put down her craft knife and fidgeted with her shirt cuffs.

“Wait…..what are you two up to?”

An anguished howl tore through the neighborhood.

Stephanie shivered and rubbed her shoulders, her hair flat and plastered to her face as she sat drenched in ice water.

“You guys are so immature.”

##############################################

So hard with my girls not around me

It’s definitely not a Nashville party

Cause' all I see are stilettos

I guess I never got the memo

“Oh, hey! Melvin!” Stephanie said, giving a swift and sideways cuff to her companion’s shoulder, “George, Harold, the infamous Tree House Comix. Inc…..what’s up? You look nice!”

“Are we early?”, George inquired, shifting his and Harold’s gift to his hip.

“Fortunately, yes. And these dryads don’t seem to want to help set up, so if you could, that would be totally awesomesauce. Gift table’s-” she jerked back with her thumb, “-kind of the giant hamper thing, and if you want to change, the bathroom’s the second door on the left. My uncle’s working on the water slide, but I really need some help with the gift bags and snack bar.”

Wendy cartwheeled over. “Wow, rude. I guess it’s hard to be friends with me, ‘cuz I’m so awesome.”

“Wendy, I love you, but I also don’t trust you with unsupervised amounts of candy.”

Harold, now dressed in a cherry-red shirt with a notable star emblem and swim shorts, nudged the cheerleader out of the way.

“You can trust me!”

Stephanie stepped into the shaded square, knelt under the tables, and slammed a five-pound bag of gummy bears onto the table.

“Let’s get to work, then.”

######################################################

So I put my hands up

They're playing my song,

And the butterflies fly away

Noddin' my head like, yeah

Movin' my hips like, yeah

I got my hands up,

They're playin' my song

You know I'm gonna be okay

Yeah, it's a party in the USA

Yeah it's a party in the USA

“Alright!” Jessica giggled, “I think everything’s actually ready! Steph, wanna form the teams?”

In response, she just giggled and blew a single note on the tin whistle around her neck, turning the attention of all the partygoers.

“Atten-TION! Alight like a sparrow and fall like a hawk, because we’re about to have full battle! Partygoers, strap your water pistols and arm your balloons, because it’s going to be brutal. Take. No. Prisoners. Teams will be decided by your awesome captains, me and Tommy.”

“Hmmm?” said a freckled brunette in the back with a timid smile.

“Yeah! Tommy, come on up here! Granted, my team is kind of going to crush you, but it’s nice to be powerful, isn’t it?”

He chuckled and climbed onto the picnic table, striking a mock-pose. “Yeah, I’m feeling it.”

“Sweet. To start off with, I’m taking Sugar. Sugar N. Spice.”

“Oh, so you’re just going to take my best friend? Two can play, Wykoff.”, Tommy said, grinning maliciously, “Jessica Gordon.”

“George Beard.”

“Wendy Swan.”

“Harold Hutchins.”

“Iris Patrick Harris.”

“Andrea Morris.”

“Mac Turtledove.”

“Melvin Sneedly.”

“.....Katherine Taylor. ”

“This…..is battle.” she said, clapping her hands, “We have five minutes to work out our strategy. Let’s go.”

############################################

“Did anyone ever tell you that water balloons aren’t supposed to be full of paint?”

“War is the most readily available form of chaos. Or are you calling Tommy’s Last Stand?.”

“Laws are silent in times of war.”

###############################################

Stephanie, although smudged with at least seven different forms of glitter, smiled as she plucked a pair of dice out of her hair.

“Well that….could have gone better.” she said, leaning an elbow on the craft table, “But man, we hit Gettysburg with that vinegar flank and baking soda ambush. What’cha making?”

Harold smiled. “Rainbow soap, of course. Is it okay if I take one of those giant dot-to-dot thingies with me for later?”

Stephanie flapped her hand in his general direction. “Oh yeah, it’s highly recommended. So….Avengers or Justice League? Or are you a Big Hero 6 kind of guy?”

“Avengers, all the way. But you are totally, like, more Honey Lemon than Captain America, so I’m guessing you’re a Bay-Maximum Rider?”

“Yeah, chemistry and physics are the two key elements to making everything scientifically awesome. Just….if everything has order….it’s better, y’know?”

“Steph, I don’t think you’re allowed to say that with an entire water slide and pool in your backyard. That is the gear of someone who flies at the moment.”

“Well…..generally, I plan things out, map out the possibilities from that moment, and choose the best one. Like, how can I prevent allergic emergencies? By finding all the natural allergens in all the snacks and labeling them, duh. Clear space, clear mind.”

“You must think…..really fast. But what if you flip a coin and it lands on the edge?”

“Harold, that’s a one in six-thousand chance, even for a typical American nickel.”

“Okayyyyy, well…..if you flip this coin and it lands on the edge,” Harold said, digging into the pocket of his swim trunks for the desired coin, “You have to do something crazy and unexpected.”

Stephanie chuckled and cuffed his shoulder “Okay, yeah, sure. And if it lands on either side?”

“I’ll do something totally characteristic, by which I mean awesome.”

“Let’s go, then.” she said, edging the coin on her fisted thumbnail and releasing it.

Immediately as it hit the table, it spun gradually, then rested on its edge.

Stephanie climbed onto the picnic table once more and blew her whistle.

“In light of Harold Huchins being the craziest boy alive, the rest of this party is set in a Victorian era, with the pool as a lake and the slides as aqueducts. Cow chicka wow wow, that’s what my baby says.”

Harold gave her a high-five.

At no point did she see the magnet he had placed under the table be palmed back to his pocket.

############################################################

“There’s no way”, George finished, “she actually already had that whole, like, wedding cake with roses and gold dust and stuff ready to go.”

Harold grinned. “Eh, it was still unexpected at the time. Maybe she just made the theme off the cake.”

“Yeah, the period-accurate silk sponge cake she just happens to have, while literally everything else here is Marvel-themed.”

“Boo!”

“Gyahhhhh…..oh, hey, it’s just you. I kind of thought it was someone I needed to worry about.” George joked, “What’s up?”

“I’m just about to open the presents, so, if you guys want to bail or stay, now would be a really good time to decide.” Stephanie said, her dark hair now cascading across her shoulders in wet, frizzy, waves and a smile playing across her chocolate-brown eyes--

“Yeah, it’s cool. We want to see your reactions! Trust me, you’re going to love Melvin’s present.” George said, winking at his bespectacled friend slyly.

“Oh! Sweet! Well, my obligin’s to you!”

With a stamp of her heel, she was off. A small crowd of adults and children gathered behind her, but she, for the most part, seemed to prefer a staged approach.

“Of course,” she said, addressing the crowd, “I have the highest of thanks to all of you, of which it may be unbecoming of a lady to showcase, so you must excuse my manners. At this time, I find it best to open the lovely gifts and laurels you all have been so dear to present, and at the next stroke of the clock, we shall have a marvelous parting. My farewell, in a more physical form, if you wish to claim it at this time, is by the snack table. So, first off for presents…..I’m going to check out this big one from Melvin.”

She spent a few minutes removing the galaxy-themed aesthetic wrapping paper from the package, and her eyes lit up.

“Oh, hey, cool! She Kills Monsters! I don’t think I’ve read these…..sweet! Thanks, Melvin!”

Then, with a raised eyebrow, she glanced at the edge of the box.

“What’s this?”

Melvin held his breath.

“Oh, nice, a sliding block puzzle! And the spring-thingy…..there’s something inside, right? So if I just rotate this, and slide this part over here….”

A few moments later, the final latch clicked, and the girl grinned.

“Alright! What is it?”

Beside the others, Melvin Sneedly fainted.

######################################################

“Hey….dude, wake up.”

The boy rubbed his eyes. “Do I….want to know?”

Stephanie giggled. “Yeah, you probably do. See, I got this boss Starbucks gift card from a nerd and he died. So now he’s totally in my dad’s office, because there’s a lot to be said for a family of medical practitioners. Everybody else left like, an hour ago, including your friends, sorry, man. Do you want your parents to pick you up?”

“Uh….I think I’ll walk, thanks.”

Stephanie scooted forward and hopped off the box she was sitting on. “Ah, dude! Can I walk you home? I’ve never seen your house, anyway...is it like, a mansion or something? Or an apartment?”

“As I told the last people who asked that exact same question, it’s actually a pretty ordinary house, and it’s a two-hour walk….but I’d be delighted for your company.”

Stephanie laughed and hooked her arm into his. “Well, then, I shall be gladsome.”

###############################################################

One July seventh summer afternoon, George beamed and plunged his hands wrist-deep into multicolored slime.

“Harold, please, tell your mom I apologize for using all her laundry detergent.”

“....She’ll be fine.”

The call bell rang, and the blond rolled his eyes.

“You know the drill, nerdsaurus.”

A minute later, their companion clambered into the treehouse and cleared his throat.

“...Do I want to know what you’re doing?”

Harold nudged a tub of fluffy canary-yellow slime towards Melvin with his foot.

“Yes, actually. Yes, you do.”

“.........”

“Oh, this is really satisfying.”

George grinned. “Told ya’.”

############################################################

Meanwhile, no more than a few miles away, Principal Krupp begrudgingly knotted his tie and handed a concoction of lemonade and raspberry syrup to the new science teacher.

“I can’t say I remember hiring you, but I must admit, you’ve won the title.”

“And vhat title might this be?” said Professor Poopypants, extracting one of his hands from a similar tub of bright blue slime to take the drink.

“Edith? Do you want to explain this?” he said, glancing at the lunchlady.

“Ah, well….”, her voice rose an octave, and she smoothed her apron down, pausing only to take her cherry syrup, Sprite, and lemon concoction, “You gotta understand, Melvin’s really a nice kid…”

“Ah, zat suck-up. Yah, I vemember him. We have ze same online Dungeons and Dragons campaign.”

Edith looked over the rim of her glass as she took a sip. “An’ you know how he’s always talkin’ about getting into them Ivy Leagues, so he’ll do anything for extra credit, right?”

“Yah, yah, vhat’s your point?”

“Well, some of the less-well-meanin’ teachers make it a game to see what they can get Melvin to do for extra credit. Mr. Krupp used to be the reigning champion, but you took all this year with ‘assist in a full-frontal lobotomy.’”

“I suppose he is starting next year vith a 4.5 GPA…..but does that mean I have to give extra credit to George and Harold, too? They’re probably already setting fire to something as ve speak.”

“Aw…..sir, they’re also pretty well-hearted kids if you know ‘em, and they’re Melvin’s best friends. Surely, one of them is the voice of reason among all that, right?” Edith said, looking hopeful.

################################################################

Back at the one and only Tree House Comix inc, Holly Hutchins gasped and turned to the boys playing cards in her living room.

“Did you three use all my laundry detergent?”

Harold blushed. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Wow, I’m not even mad, I’m just….I’m just surprised.” she said, laughing, “I don’t suppose you’re looking for more ideas, are you?”

Harold shrugged. “Yeah, we’ll take ‘em.”

Then, as an afterthought, “As long as you don’t want us to dust or wash the windows or something.”

Ms. Hutchins laughed again. “Watch it, mister. No, I just saw these shell-shaped candles online and thought that I’d really like one or two. You guys can use a burner, right? After all, I am counting on at least one of you to be the voice of reason.”

“You’ve got it. Boys, I know what we’re gonna do today.”

################################################################

“Were we supposed to do something at these faculty meetings?” Ms. Anthrope inquired, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“Yes. We were supposed to have drinks and gossip about the students behind their sun-tanned freckled backs.” said Poopypants, folding in his hand of cards and raking in a small fortune of chocolate coins.

“Ah. Well, Tommy’s too quiet. It’s weird when kids are too quiet.” responded Ms. Anthrope boisterously, leaning back.

“Seriously?” said Mr. Krupp, glaring at the narrator  giggling nervously who doesn’t know how to write gossip and such and thus decided it would be a good time for a scene jump. 

################################################################

“Why does your mom even have a reactive steel pot?” George said, warily glancing at the flickering flames, “Flour puts out stuff like this, right? Electrical fires?”

Melvin shoved George into the opposite counter.

“My friend, if you would like to graduate without third-degree burns, I’d get water.”

Harold fidgeted with his shirt sleeve. “This is a grease fire, right? With the candle scented oils and stuff? I think we’d get in trouble if we managed to spread it.”

George shrugged. “You know, once my uncle told me there was a special fire extinguisher for that…..Harold, do you-”

“We don’t even have a fire extinguisher, man! And paraffin is like, a cooking fat, not an oil, so I’m not even sure it’ll work!”

“Okay….” George said, biting his lower lip, “But we can smother any fire, right?”

The paisley towel caught aflame.

At that moment, Holly Hutchins arrived, gasped, and threw baking soda on the flames.

“....You’re all grounded.”

###########################################################

By July’s end, fireflies danced in the night sky with a hint of chlorine and lemongrass.

“Hey! Are you two there?”

George slid down the oak tree’s limb and landed on the grass.

“Why, yes we are. And who might you be?”

A small girl with thick glasses, ginger hair curling around her shoulders, and a distinct professional appearance despite her age faced them.

“My brother really ought to have mentioned me, but, for our acquaintance, my name is Ciana Sneedly. May I presume that you two are the troublemakers he’s been seeing as of late?”

Harold giggled. “Wow, troublemakers. Miss Sneedly, I am blushing.”

George took a theatrical bow. “The troublemakers in person. You sound like your brother before we taught him not to talk like that. What’s up?”

“Melvin sent me to tell you two that he’s at a convention, but he’ll see you next week.”

George’s shoulders dropped. “Awwww….that’s the last day of summer. What convention is it, anyway?”

“Don’t even try. He actually has a guest speaker position with a Mr. McCracken.”

Harold’s eyes brightened. “Ciana, would this man’s first name happen to be Craig?”

“I believe so.”

“Miss Sneedly, please, come inside. I think we’ll get along very well indeed.”

##############################################################

By the last day of the summer, Melvin arrived and unloaded a bag of spare machinery parts onto a blanket.

“I think you two are actually going to like this…..because I just got an ignitor battery at the convention, so, in other words, we have a model rocket.”

George and Harold grinned and high-fived their companion.

“Dude, that’s awesome.”

“I know.”

################################################################

By the hour’s stroke, all three of them were smudged with grease and sweat, but the rocket was complete.

And it was glorious.

And its final streak of color as it exploded in the evening sky was breathtaking.

#############################################################

Flight 2-765, Ohio to Massachusetts, now boarding.

Melvin Sneedly, as now a seventeen-year-old graduate of Jerome Horwitz High School, grinned towards the duo and tugged his suitcase off the bench.

“That’s my call, you two troublemakers.”

Harold laughed. “Yeah, MIT, right? I hear that’s the school for nerds who don’t set fires to their kitchens.”

Melvin winked. “Hey, that only happened once. And in our defense, your mother really shouldn’t have steel pots in her kitchen. Say we saved her a shopping trip.”

George facepalmed. “Mel, she was already out shopping. We used all the laundry detergent.”

“Guess we should have told her to get a Grade K fire extinguisher while she was out.

Vous êtes deux fous. Je suis honoré d'être considéré comme votre ami.”

And with a final sleight of hand, he was gone.

In a Piqua bedroom window, a mechanical train passed softly on its tracks.

FIN

##########################################

Acknowledgements: 

OCs are Walter Ashton, Andrea Morris, and Iris Patrick Harris. All the others you see here and don’t recognize are likely minor characters. 

Thanks to @kitkat1003​, my editor! (Her OC, Katherine Taylor, makes a brief cameo)

A special extension of gratitude would have to go to @thefangirlingcartoongal​; I guarantee, the first prompts came from conversations with her.

Obligings to @memeberd​; if you see a headcanon in here, it’s probably his.

@wiffanywhiff​, welcome to the fandom!

So, to all of you, and all of my readers, and even just anyone new to the fandom....goodbye, and thanks for all the fish. Farewell!

#captain underpants #melvin sneedly #captain underpants fanfiction #harold hutchins #george beard #holly hutchins #ciana sneedly #stephanie wykoff #captain underpants oc #walter ashton #iris patrick harris #andrea morris #my writing #waffles to go

[justtextmeoppa]

Super Junior reaction when you say no to sex because you're pissed with them

Leeteuk

Leeteuk would be okay with it because he would understand why you said no in the first place. What he did was stupid and even he would admit to it. You would spend the evening just doing your own thing while the leader tried not to go off his head. Regardless to being okay with it on the outside, he would be dying just a little on the inside. Trying to preoccupy his mind with other things.

‘I need to do something before I explode!’

Heechul

Heechul would be like, ‘Oh hell no!’ He would try to prove that what he did was not so bad and you shouldn't be that angry to even begin with. If you were to be pissed, then no sex shouldn't be the penalty for his stupidity. He would much prefer you taking away his online gaming then deprive him off sex. But being Kim Heechul, he would not let his ego fall and would take things into his own hands.

‘Guess its time for a long shower.’

Yesung

Yesung would try and coax you with sweet words and cute moments. He would try his absolute best to try and get onto your good side. Try and hold your hand or try and cuddle you because he knew that when you were in the mood…you were IN THE MOOD. When you finally got it into his thick skull that he would get no sex, he sighed and just dragged himself to see his turtles whom he would unload all his emotions onto. Poor creatures.

‘Was I really that bad to piss her off??’

Kangin

Kangin would try be more cute then his manly appearance would generally allow him. He would trying and play the sympathy card, sighing all over the place and trying to make you feel sorry for him. He would be sighing away in the lounge as you walked passed. Taking the moment at hand, he would grab you and pull you into his lap to only have you fight your way out. Like Heechul, he would claim that taking sex away was a crime against humanity.

‘C’mon, I would rather have no baseball then sex!’

Shindong

Shindong would be confused at first, confused at why his smooth adorable actions didn't have you in his arms and preferably the bed. Once figuring out you were pissed, he would try to make things better but just for the sake of it and not to try and have sex. He was a man at the end of the day, but a gentleman first and foremost. Trying his gentleman stance on you, you just left him in the lounge and went to the bedroom.

‘I was trying to be nice, not seduce you sweetheart!’

Sungmin

Sungmin….oh Sungmin. Finding out that you were pissed at him for not doing the simple tasks you set for him around the house, he would quickly get to them. Doing everything in half the time it would generally take him. The fluffy bunny used his cute outwards appearance to his advantage. He would do every single thing possible to cute you into forgiving him but you just ignored him.

‘I even did the dishes and you know I hate dishes, Y/N!’

Eunhyuk

Eunhyuk would follow you around the house like a lost puppy. Pouting here and there, trying to get your attention. He knew you were pissed at him, and he knew that his monkey ass was getting nothing tonight or probably for as long as you would be pissed with him. You had just gotten out the shower, when you put on underwear and looked for clothing. Feeling his hands on your waist, you pushed him away and shouted at him for thinking you were trying to subdue him.

‘So you standing here naked isn't me being forgiven?’

Zhoumi

Zhoumi would be like Yesung, trying to be all cute and fluffy to get your attention and get his little way of sex back. The tall foreigner would even try and win you over with a home cooked meal. Trying his best, he would only end up pissing you off more when you came home to a kitchen that looked like a bomb had hit it. There was dishes all over the place, burnt food in the bin and mini lake on the floor. Rolling your eyes, you would go straight to the bedroom and slam the door.

‘Should have just gotten Wook to cook and claimed I did!’

Donghae

Donghae and his soft soul would be like his leader. He would have been understanding to why you were pissed and used sex as the punishment. The dancer would find himself trying to keep himself busy through, going for runs, chilling with friends. It would get so bad that he would come back and practically beg you to change your mind, or at least have the punishment only start tomorrow.

‘I am going off my head, please postponed your anger!?’

Siwon

Siwon would play the dirty way. If you denied him sex, then he would make you want to have sex with him. You would be pissed with him, arriving home to the sound of the shower. Ignoring him, you would go and grab something to eat before you would stop mid chew. In would walk your boyfriend with a white towel around his waist, hair wet and a charming smile on his face. Seeing your face, he knew you were hooked but soon failed when you just grabbed your food and went to eat in the lounge.

‘Seriously?! You going to say no to this…PLEASE JAGIYA!’

Ryeowook

Ryeowook would just pretend and be a good man. He would accept your choices but deep down he would wish otherwise. Trying to win back his privilege, he would complete chores around the house, take your mother to the hospital for her appointments and would even make sure dinner was cooked. Pleased with himself, he waited for you to come home. You entered the kitchen, thanked him for cleaning the house, for taking your mother and even making dinner before taking the food and going to watch tv. Inevitably he would mumble to himself once you left.

‘Yeah well… I was too tired for sex anyway.’

Kyuhyun

Kyuhyun would just conveniently forget that you were pissed off at him. He would just let the punishment slip his mind and just try and advance anyway. Coming home from work, you would shower and change before slipping into bed. When Kyu arrives home, he would slip in and slowly start kissing your neck and holding your body close. Realizing what he was doing, you would get him all hot and flustered before pushing him away and going to sleep in the guest room.

‘Are you kidding me?!’

Henry

Henry would be like Sungmin, trying everything to get you to forgive him. He would pull the cutest faces, give you small gifts and even bring flowers to your work everyday. The flowers part was pretty cute, regardless of the many bouquets that now showered your office floor. It had been a few weeks without sex and he was starting to forget why you were even pissed at him. He was slowly going insane and was starting to get desperate much like Donghae.

‘Please baby, it doesn’t even have to be everything but just something!’

*BONUS*

Hangeng

Hangeng would try and just preoccupy himself. He knew that when you were pissed, you were pissed but he also knew that you would eventually get over it. Oh boy was he wrong this time. Like Kangin, he would try and be cute once he realized that you weren't about to give up on this no sex thing. At one point he even argued that taking sex away from a relationship should be illegal.

‘I have needs Y/N….NEEDS!’

Kibum

Kibum well he would just be okay with it full stop. He would understand why you were pissed and would just give you your space. He knew you well enough to know that you needed your space and he respected that. If taking sex away from the relationship was the only way you found fit, then he didn't argue. He was just a supportive boyfriend, and tried everything to get into your good books again.

‘I am sorry, and I am saying that because I am and not because I want sex.’

#kpop #kpop texts #kpop fake texts #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop drabbles #kpop reaction #kpop super junior #super junior #super junior texts #super junior fake texts #super junior imagines #super junior scenarios #super junior drabbles #super junior reaction #leeteuk #kangin #heechul #siwon #hangeng #donghae #leeteuk reaction #leeteuk scenario #yesung #ryeowook #kibum #zhoumi

[i-would-rather-be-queen]

B.A.P Yongguk AU ‘The Righteous and the Wicked’

A/N: By all rights this should be fleshed out a bit more but it was getting so long and I didn’t want to commit to another multi-chapter fic when I have so many other things I want to write. OTL Please let me know if you like it guys. ^^ WARNING: Some violence.    

~ 

It was a mistake going up. 

Never go up when being chased. Because when you run out of room there’s nowhere else to go. It wasn’t the first time that night you’d done something stupid. What was supposed to be a simple slip inside an empty building had turned into a mad dash for your life.

Running up your seventh flight of stairs your legs and lungs were on fire. The only place left to go was the roof. Using your shoulder you slammed through the door and entered the open space. Clearly somebody had designed it as a gothic garden of sorts. A refuge in the midst of the sprawling city. Large potted plants and ivy decorated the dark stone square as well as a handful of gargoyles posted on the ledges.

Eyes searching for something to barricade the door, you found nothing. In desperation you peeked over the side of the building. There were no balconies, no other roofs within jumping distance and a fall from this height would undoubtedly kill you.

Your pursuers now blocked your only exit, their eyes locked on you as their target. It only took a second for them to catch you once you were cornered. They began patting you down, searching your pockets or any hiding places stitched into your clothes. “Where’s your phone? What’d you do with it?”

Hidden, hopefully where they’d never find it. When you realized you’d been discovered you found a place to squirrel it away in the building and then texted your editor where it was. You wanted the evidence stored on your phone to be exposed even if you couldn’t be the one to do it.

They became violent when it was obvious you were refusing to answer. There were a few good blows to your stomach that probably would have brought up your dinner if you’d had any. Still you kept on your feet until you were backhanded by a closed fist.

Crashing into the stone behind you, your head bounced off the statue of one of the gargoyles. Automatically you reached back and pulled your hand away to see it wet with blood. Rough hands grabbed you and threatened to push you over the edge.

A grating, popping sound came from above. Casting your eyes skyward you saw fine lines and cracks expanding along the gargoyle’s body. Pieces began to crumble and flake off like slate.

Then it moved.

Wings stretched as it rose from a crouch to stand to its full height. It was the size of a man. In fact its visage had even changed from an unnatural creature to look like one.

The men ran away in horror, their screams echoing down the stairwell as they fled. Thrown to the ground in their haste to escape, you lay frozen as you watched the creature with fearful eyes. It sprang from its perch then peered down at you inquisitively.

Underneath the flaking stone that now resembled clay was flesh and intense black eyes. He seemed human except for the bat-like wings that remained and blotted out the stars above. Despite its human-like appearance you were surprised when it spoke in a voice deep as the ages.

“You.”

“M-me?”

“You are the one who called me.”

“I don’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just trying not to die.”

He—it—he, you weren’t sure, reached out and you flinched. He touched the back of your head and then showed you the tips of his fingers now stained red. “The blood of the righteous is the only thing that can wake me.”

“So…you’re not going to kill me?”

“No.” His expression was remote. Grim even, as if not all of him had not completely transformed from stone. “Why were they trying to hurt you?”

“I’m a reporter. Those men belong to an underground human trafficking operation I stumbled upon. And now they want me dead before I can prove it.”

Solemnly he nodded his understanding. “Then I’ll protect you until you can.”

“What?” This couldn’t be your life. Maybe you’d hit your head harder than you thought and you were laying on the ground unconscious. Hell, maybe you were dead. Dubiously you asked, “How would that even be possible? You’re not exactly inconspicuous.”

The night kept throwing you curve balls. Without saying a word the leathery wings started to disintegrate, virtually melting away. Before long there was just a man standing there. 

It was entirely possible you were in the midst of some trauma induced delusion. Reality may no longer be your friend. “Ok…I guess that’s not a problem then. Uh, what do I call you? I mean, do you have a name?”

“Yongguk.”

You really didn’t know what to say. The events of the night had pretty much broken your brain by this point. Exhausted but happy to be alive you decided to roll with it. Grabbing your phone from its hiding spot the two of you left without incident. It was a nice bit of luck after the evening you’d had but you weren’t about to push it. Not having any other idea what to do, you took him home.

When you entered the pass code to your front door your dog started barking. Which was normal but for the first time you wondered how he would react to a living, breathing gargoyle. Or for that matter how Yongguk would react to him. Cautiously you asked over your shoulder, “You don’t eat dogs do you?”

He squinted but said nothing. Alrighty then.

Upon opening the door your dog’s gaze focused on the tall man behind you, watching closely. As soon as Yongguk saw the dog something surprising happened. He kneeled down and grinned. Patting his thigh he beckoned the dog over. After a quick sniff your dog’s tail started wagging vigorously and he licked at Yongguk’s face eliciting a laugh from the gargoyle. An actual laugh. Perplexed you stared at the two of them until Yongguk looked up and your heart stuttered in your chest. The smile had lit up his entire face. How could that dour face now look so angelic?

Quickly he composed himself, though he wasn’t as gloomy as he’d been. “I haven’t seen a dog in a long time. I’ve missed them.”

“A long time, huh? I think we have some talking to do.” Quickly you heated something in the microwave to eat then the two of you sat at your kitchen table. After a few bites you said, “Time to spill. What the hell is going on?”

He sighed and appeared less than enthusiastic but began his story anyway. “A long time ago I was the leader of a band of warriors in charge of protecting a certain territory. Then a new authority took over the land and tried to use us to extort money from those who were supposed to be under our care.”

“None of us could do it. The penalty for leaving our duties was death but even that was preferable to what we were being asked to do. We were able to hide for a while but eventually they caught us.” He rubbed his hands over his face and the guilt he felt was palpable in the air.

“We were made to pay the price of our disloyalty not just with our lives but our freedom. A man of magick came to imprison us. One by one I watched my brothers’ bodies harden and skin burn away as they were transformed into these hideous creatures. I was last and told that we would only be released from the spell if touched by the blood of a worthy person in need.”

It seemed too outrageous to believe. But you’d witnessed his transformation yourself, what else could be done but accept it? Certainly nothing more that night, you decided.

Offering Yongguk the couch you asked if he’d need any blankets to which he gave you an odd smirk but declined. Too tired to wonder about any more mysteries, no matter how small, you headed for your bedroom.

Several hours later you woke in your bed and would have thought everything was some strange fever dream if your body and head didn’t hurt like hell. Deciding to check on Yongguk before you took a shower you went out to your living area and received yet another shock.

He was stone again.

In the middle of your apartment he sat like some huge lawn ornament. Dumbfounded you walked over and poked his shoulder with your index finger. There was no give, no elasticity to indicate he’d ever been anything but granite or whatever he was made of.

So much for protection. At this point you pretty much gave up trying to figure it out and got back to trying to break up the operation. After cleaning up you headed out to talk to your editor and the police. Gone the rest of the day you came home about an hour after dusk. The first thing you did when you entered your apartment was look for Yongguk. He was gone.

Before you could worry too much he emerged from the bathroom, steam following in his wake. He rubbed at his hair with a towel while another one was wrapped low slung around his waist. The flood of desire that unexpectedly pooled in your abdomen caught you off guard.

“I’m glad you took a shower. I mean, not that you needed one, but that you felt comfortable enough to, um, get naked. I’m going to stop talking now.”

His lips curled in the cutest way, clearly amused. “Yes, thank you. It was nice. Smelled like you too.”

Did a gargoyle just low key hit on you? He looked like a man though. Was he even a gargoyle anymore? “Uh, do you still have your wings?”

He nodded and they sprouted so rapidly from behind him you were startled. Yongguk kept them spread for you to see as you inched closer. “Wow. Can I touch them?”

“If you like.”

Lightly you ran your fingers along the spine of the wing, noting the membranous tissue that connected the ribbing. Dry and leathery it twitched and Yongguk sucked in a breath. Quickly you pulled your hand away. “I’m sorry, did that hurt?”

“No.” Somehow his voice had become even deeper. “It doesn’t hurt.”

Standing this close you could feel the heat emanating from his body. You were hyper aware of his presence making you feel like there were tiny sparks dancing across your skin. It was intoxicating.

He was the one to shatter the moment, backing away abruptly and seemingly flustered. To your even greater astonishment he almost seemed…embarrassed? Shy? You weren’t quite sure. But he didn’t face you as the wings once again dissolved and he returned to the bathroom.

After he reemerged he refrained from making eye contact and wanted an update on what happened while he was ‘sleeping’. His word, not yours.

You told him the cops hadn’t been interested in your photos, claiming it would take more substantial evidence. Subsequently your boss was hesitant to go forward with the story. It began to occur to you that maybe some people had been bribed to look the other way. No matter. You’d just have to get enough proof that it couldn’t be ignored whether they were on the take or not.  

There were leads you’d been working that day. Most of them hit dead ends but a few panned out. Rumors of locations people were being held until they could be transported out of the area. Naturally it was assumed to be an old warehouse but the problem was that with the economic decline in the city there were plenty of those to choose from.

Soon you and Yongguk developed a pattern. Sleep during the day, scout at night, and ignore the attraction that was building between you. He was a serious individual that appeared focused only on helping people in their unfortunate circumstances. And of course you were too, but it didn’t stop your heart from fluttering when he stole glances at you, or how you began to admire his gentle wisdom. He wasn’t one to say much but when he did you fell for him even more.

Finally the two of you found the right location. You took many pictures, making sure to get good shots of faces of the captors as well as the operation. There would be no denying what was happening now.

Once you were done you wanted to leave quickly to protect the evidence and expose the ring. But Yongguk couldn’t abandon the people. You understood, you really did. But the two of you weren’t the law here. The warrior in him refused to back down and he took flight. Unwilling to let him do this alone you followed on foot.

Yongguk took care of the kidnappers while you aided the victims and tried to shepherd them to relative safety. Once they were in hiding you saw Yongguk had led the remaining captors to the roof where it was easier for him to maneuver. He was outnumbered though and you couldn’t just stand by without helping him.

Again your lungs and legs burned as you ran up the stairs of the multi-story warehouse. It was beginning to be a habit you really didn’t want to keep. On the way you spotted a metal pipe and grabbed it. Your arrival startled a few of the men long enough to take one of them down with a swing of the pipe.

Two men were struggling with Yongguk but the other switched his focus to you. Though you got in a few good hits and may have cracked a few of the guy’s ribs, he disarmed you easily. He snatched a hold of your clothes and dragged you to the edge of the building. It struck you that you’d survived being thrown off a building a few weeks ago only to meet the same fate again.

Fueled by revenge the man tossed you over the side like you were nothing. Your brain locked in terror as it registered nothing but air around you. Before you could scream you heard a roar from Yongguk.

The ground was rushing up to meet you but instead of impact there were arms encircling you. Yongguk had caught you and was slowly ascending toward the roof which was now empty. You suspected the two hindering Yongguk might have ended up going over the side but maybe they had run off like the other man clearly had. You didn’t care enough at the moment to check.

Once he landed Yongguk crushed you even harder to himself. It was fine, you felt like you were about to shake apart and he was holding you together. Or maybe that was him shaking, you didn’t know. The two of you stood there, basking in your relief, and you didn’t miss how his wings arched around you protectively.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His words were rushed and it was the most human he’d ever sounded. Not at all like the reticent man you’d known the past few weeks. He wouldn’t stop apologizing.

So you kissed him to get his attention then argued, “What are you sorry for? You saved my life.”

“I put your life in danger by not listening to you.” He kissed you again, though this time his agitation seemed to be receding. “I should have listened.”

His hands spread wide against your back, holding you in place as you laced your fingers into his hair. “It’s ok. You didn’t let me fall.”

As the adrenaline drained from your system you stepped back but he wouldn’t let you go far. Apparently if you scared Yongguk it took a while for his protective instincts to relax. But you were wondering something else, something you’d been dreading knowing the answer. “We have the evidence to turn over. The ring will be broken up. Will you go back to being stone again?”

“No. Once I’ve been released I’m free. At least during the night anyway.”

“So what now?”

His eyes drifted away to stare off in the distance. “My brothers are out there somewhere.”

The sadness in his voice squeezed your heart but you didn’t need the added incentive to say, “Then let’s go find them.”

~

BTS Jin’s Supernatural AU

#b.a.p scenarios #bap scenarios #yongguk scenarios #yongguk imagines #hallyuwritersnet #bap imagines #b.a.p imagines #my writing #b.a.p au #bap au #b.a.p x reader #bap x reader #yongguk x reader #Yongguk #yongguk au

[torentialtribute]

Nicolas Pepe’s directness can be a game-changer on the road for Arsenal – FIVE THINGS WE LEARNED

Arsenal Won sanctions after being held for a 1-1 draw in their penultimate preseason friendly to Angers while Unai Emery continued to give opportunities to the club's upcoming talent.

The Gunners went after 13 minutes after Farid El Melami found out about the defense before dribbling around Emiliano Martinez and gambling home.

But Reiss Nelson got up early in the second half to tap home to earn a tie. The game was then decided by penalties, with Arsenal winning 4-3 in the shootout.

Here is JONATHAN SPENCER from Sportsmail to implement the rule about what was learned during Arsenal & # 39; s friendly against the Ligue 1 outfit …

Youngster Reiss Nelson scored the equalizer for Arsenal against Angers when she drew 1-1

PEPE & ARRIVAL CANNOT EAT QUICK ENOUGH

We cannot read much in friendships, but the last seasons (and on Wednesdays) have desperate Arsenal emphasizes the need for a lightning fast and direct winger. Although much has been done about signing a centerback as a priority, fans would argue that this position is just as important.

Away from home in recent times, the shape of the Gunners has been terrible and this is partly due to their lack of threat in the future. Once they are under the pump, they hide in their shells and struggle for creativity and ride in midfield, in a way where Alexandre Lacazette and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang no longer serve.

The approaching arrival of £ 72 million man Nicolas Pepe, who gets fans off their feet, may be the man who quickly turns defense into attack – putting the ball under deep pressure and instead put opposition defense on the back foot.

Ivory Coast international Nicolas Pepe can be a game changer on the road for the Gunners

MARTINELLI IS LOCATED ON A TOUGH EVENING

Although it was a tough evening for the young, a child stood out more than others – and that was the Brazilian starlet Gabriel Martinelli, who joined the North London outfit for £ 6 million this summer.

Martinelli, who models his game on Cristiano Ronaldo, is considered one of the most promising talents in his home country and recently earned a call to t raining platoon of Brazil for the Copa America. And on Wednesday we saw an excerpt of why Arsenal and so many others were interested in his signature.

The 18-year-old – who had a fantastic working speed – showed a few moments of great intelligence, composed and not afraid of getting the opposition. Almost immediately before half-time he was almost rewarded with an equalizer, but his smart header drifted past the right post for the first time from a cross just over the right post.

Gabriel Martinelli stood tall, with fantastic working speed and composition during the friendly

LJUNGBERG & # 39; S FIRST TEAM PROMOTION PAYS

Freddie Ljungberg's promotion may work wonders for the Gunners after three consecutive years want to rebuild the seasons in the Europa League.

Since taking on his role as assistant coach after his period as manager under 23, Emery has given ample opportunities to the talent of the exciting club with Ljungberg as a welcome link between the academy and the first team.

The likes of Joe Willock, Eddie Nketiah and Tyreece-John Jules have impressed the entire preseason and the youngsters get the chance to shine again on Wednesday. And it paid off when Nelson, tipped for a bright future, brought in the equalizer after being in the right place at the right time.

There were chances for the first team for the children this summer and fans will hope this continues throughout the season as the club balances the Premier League, Europa League and cup competitions.

The promotion of Freddie Ljungberg as assistant to the first team seems to be bearing fruit at this time

ROOMS WANT TO BE MIDDLE BACK OPPORTUNITY

The Arsenal of Shkodran Mustafi hangs on a thread with more errors creeping in its weeks go on. This was the perfect game to give Calum Chambers more playing time in the heart of the defense to prove its worth under Emery.

Chambers, who impressed Fulham's final term – winning player of the season, becomes

Although his defense can sometimes be raw, the talent is still there and he would lose his chances to compete. with people like Rob Holding and Sokratis. It will only improve at the heart of the defense with regular playing time. But frustrated, he was deployed at the back right against Angers, while Mustafi was preferred in the back center. Missed an opportunity by the Gunners.

Calum Chambers were deployed in the back right by Unai Emery while they took over the Ligue 1 outfit on

CLEAN-ADELAIDE STRUGGLES TO PROVE HIS POINT

After breaking the lively performance of the Emirates Cup for Arsenal against Lyon in 2015 was a huge excitement that they might have found their next big thing.

But turn the clock three years ahead and he was sold to Angers on a permanent deal after a short loan period after he was a surplus of requirements under the then new manager Emery in 2018.

And on Wednesday, Reine-Adelaide had the chance to show Emery his worth, but a few threatening moments early in the second half, the French midfielder failed to put his former team on the line. To make matters worse, his missed penalty in the shoot-out made Arsenal hit narrow winners.

Jeff Reine-Adelaide couldn't offer the magic for Angers against his former club

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#Nicolas Pepe’s directness can be a game-changer on the road for Arsenal – FIVE THINGS WE LEARNED"

[freebestbettingtips]

Championship: Swansea City 0-1 Aston Villa

New Post has been published on https://bestfreebettingtips.com/championship-swansea-city-0-1-aston-villa/

Championship: Swansea City 0-1 Aston Villa

Aston Villa got back to winning ways on Boxing Day in what was a tightly-fought encounter at Swansea City’s Liberty Stadium.

In this tactical analysis, we’ll break down the key aspects of the game and how Aston Villa’s solid defensive shape helped them on their way to three points.

Both teams went into the EFL Championship match on the back of 3-2 defeats and both of which after taking the lead. Aston Villa threw away a 2-0 advantage against Leeds United while Hull City came back from a 1-0 deficit to end Swansea’s hopes of a third consecutive victory.

Two teams who have leaked goals in recent weeks, Aston Villa have shipped 12 in their last five while the Swans have let in 10 so you might have expected something of a goal-fest between these two sides.

However, both sides looked like they recognised their defensive vulnerabilities of late and adjusted accordingly.

Swansea City manager Graham Potter has used a wide range of different formations already this season. After showing weakness against counter-attacks at Hull, he ditched the 4-2-3-1 system he’s used in the last 3 games in favour of a 4-3-3.

By contrast, Aston Villa also made a slight change, ensuring they matched Swansea’s three-man midfield.

Having used a 4-1-4-1 for the most part of his spell at Aston Villa so far, manager Dean Smith dropped his two central midfielders in the back four alongside Whelan in the defensive phase. The two wingers – Bolasie and El Ghazi tucked in behind the lone striker, Chelsea loanee Tammy Abraham.

Aston Villa control the midfield and force Swansea down the sides

Like they did at Hull last Saturday, Swansea City dominated the opening 30 minutes, but Aston Villa’s solid defensive structure meant that they did little with it.

Aston Villa’s two wingers move inside to help them stay compact. Number 22 – El Ghazi is available to press Swansea’s left-back Kyle Naughton if the ball comes back to him.

With Swansea City’s two wide midfielders – Leroy Fer and Jay Fulton closely marked and Matt Grimes being pressed, the holding midfielder is forced to go long and diagonal.

Matt Grimes is forced to go long and diagonal as Aston Villa control the middle of the pitch.

Aston Villa were effective at forcing Swansea City to play down the sides. When they did, they ensured that they outnumbered them in these wide areas. To combat this, Potter’s side looked to play long balls down the sides for the wide-men to chase in behind.

Kyle Naughton looks to release Dan James in behind Aston Villa’s defence.

Swansea’s number 27 – Jay Fulton acts as the link between the defence and right-sided attackers. The midfielder was usually looking to receive the ball from a centre back and play first-time passes to Celina or Roberts – either short to feet or long for them to chase in behind.

Jay Fulton in the middle allows to link up the play from defence to wide attackers.

The need to press Matt Grimes

Matt Grimes was Swansea City’s deep-lying midfielder and pulled the strings for the home side in their early dominant spell. Showing an excellent wide-range of passing, Grimes was accurate with long diagonals which helped his team bypass Aston Villa’s congested midfield and get in behind down the right side.

Another long diagonal pass by Matt Grimes from deep.

Further forward, Matt Grimes looks to play Connor Roberts down the right flank. Aston Villa’s Bolasie doesn’t drop deep enough to stop Roberts getting in behind the defence.

Aston Villa’s compact defensive shape

It was no wonder that Dean Smith was pleased with his side’s defensive performance in the game, keeping a rare clean sheet after leaking goals in recent weeks. Of Swansea’s 19 shots in the game, 11 of them were blocked and it’s not hard to see why.

Aston Villa’s tight defensive shape made it difficult for Swansea City to attack through them.

As Swansea City approach the final third, Aston Villa drop back while McGinn pushes out to press Leroy Fer.

With plenty of bodies back, Aston Villa were able to block out a large number of shots, limiting their goalkeeper’s direct involvement.

Swansea’s risky attacking shape

This was something that we saw in their recent 3-2 defeat at Hull City, Swansea’s attacking shape and commitment to push players forward left space available to counter-attack.

Once again, we see Aston Villa’s strong midfield block. It’s the two wingers that drop back in the example below – alongside Whelan, with McGinn and the match-winner Hourihane pressing forward.

From Villa’s point of view, they have Bolasie available in space to attack into (below) if Grimes attempts (and fails) with a long diagonal. Swansea are at risk with Bersant Celina (in the white circle) and full-back Connor Roberts moving forwards into the opposition’s half.

Aston Villa are also at risk if Swansea can get the ball into the space in between the lines (Celina). In this situation, they press the player on the ball well, forcing the ball back to Grimes and then across to the near side (left-back Kyle Naughton) and away from the key danger area.

With Swansea’s two wide midfielders committed forward, Aston Villa have space to counter-attack into if they can press and win possession.

Aston Villa’s main threat from crosses

With Aston Villa’s quality in wide areas and possessing a tall target man in Tammy Abraham, Dean Smith’s side were always going to offer a threat from crosses.

Their best chance of the first half came from a cross that was nodded down by Abraham but McGinn’s close-range effort inside the six-yard box was brilliantly saved by Erwin Mulder.

Villa had a similar chance early in the second half too. Another cross that was headed across the six-yard box but McGinn can’t make contact.

Aston Villa’s main threat came from crosses, usually, those headed across the six-yard box.

Loss of possession in middle-third costs Swansea again

Swansea City were punished for losing possession just inside their own half at Hull and it was the same again against Villa.

As is so often the case in open play goals, a similar situation usually occurs before it. In this case, Leroy Fer did lose possession moments before doing so a second time that led to the winning goal being scored.

In Fer’s defence in the first case (below), Tottenham Hotspur loanee Cameron Carter-Vickers plays a long, low pass into his feet when he’s already surrounded by three Aston Villa players. They smother him, win possession and break forward.

1/2 – Leroy Fer loses possession just inside Swansea’s half, allowing Aston Villa to counter-attack.

In the build-up to the winning goal, Swansea City are playing quick, one-touch passing football in a congested area over on the far side. As the ball comes to Fer, the home side look to switch the play away from the congestion and over to the right side where Celina waits in space.

Fer, looking to let the ball run alongside him rather than take a touch, is dispossessed, allowing the counter-attacking opportunity. The dotted-line below shows Fulton’s forward run and as a result, he has far too much ground to make-up to back-pedal and provide support against the attacking break.

2/2 – Leroy Fer loses possession again, this time, Aston Villa punish Swansea on the break.

As the attack quickly develops, the aforementioned Fulton isn’t in the picture. Leroy Fer (white circle) is also too slow to track the run of goalscorer Hourihane who demonstrates the threat of late runners into the penalty area.

1/2 – Bolasie breaks forward into the space in the left channel.

Alan Hutton does well here to provide the overlap for the speedy Bolasie who plays a perfectly-weighted ball in front of the left back, allowing him to put in a first-time cross that Hourihane running through the gap can head home.

2/2 – Alan Hutton provides the overlap option, Bolasie plays the ball into his path for a first-time cross that’s headed past Mulder by Hourihane.

Swansea go direct after Villa take the lead

Instantly after the goal, Swansea City go more direct, looking to release Jefferson Montero down the left wing. Their other route forward was moving Oli McBurnie further upfield alongside striker Wilfried Bony to win route-one balls from the defence.

After going 1-0 down, Swansea go direct as defender van der Hoorn hits long.

McBurnie moves further forward, looking to win the long diagonal passes.

Swansea City also increased the intensity of their high pressing and this presented them with a Bony shot on target from 20 yards and another saw Nathan Dyer getting in behind Villa’s defence down the right.

Swansea City apply a more intense high press in search of a way back into the game.

Graham Potter sacrificed midfielders Jay Fulton and Leroy Fer shortly after the goal in favour of attacking re-enforcements. After playing wide-right of a front three, Bersant Celina dropped deeper alongside Matt Grimes while substitutes Dyer and Bony pushed up in an attacking 4-2-4 shape.

In the deeper phase, however, Dyer had to drop back and more central after the large hole left behind following the double substitution.

Aston Villa’s good defensive structure continues, making it difficult for Swansea City to build attacks from deep.

Aston Villa continue to outnumber Swansea in wide zones

As mentioned earlier in this tactical analysis, Aston Villa were wise to ensure that they outnumbered Swansea in the wide areas. As a result, Jefferson Montero, who came on just before the goal – replacing Dan James, couldn’t offer much of a threat on the left wing.

1/2 – Aston Villa double mark Jefferson Montero ensuring he had a quiet cameo down the left wing.

2/2 – On the opposite side, Aston Villa again outnumber Swansea in wide areas who lack an inside runner.

It was nowhere near Aston Villa’s best performance of the season but they will be happy with a clean sheet and a win after the loss to Leeds.

For Swansea City, it was a case of same-old – missed chances (including a 90th minute missed penalty) and their counter-attacking weakness cost them dearly.

If you love tactical analysis, then you’ll love the digital magazines from totalfootballanalysis.com – a guaranteed 100+ pages of pure tactical analysis covering topics from the Premier League, Serie A, La Liga, Bundesliga and many, many more. Get your copy of the FIRST of two December issues for just £4.99 here or preorder the SECOND of the December issues with an annual membership right here.

[lazytacomoon-blog]

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"How much money do you typically get back from your insurance company if your car is totaled in an accident?

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I live at home with my mom. I am also married. I am only staying here temporarily, but will always use her address as my permanent address(military). I need to borrow her car, but she said my insurance won't cover me. Does anyone know if this is true? I have a separate insurance policy for my husband and I and our vehicle.""

Car insurance question?

I just got a 94 Buick Park avenue a few weeks ago. I'm 17 and getting my license (hopefully) on the 25th of this month. I have a question about the insurance. Our company is Amica. I've gotten a quote recently from my dad talking to them. He told me today that after two cars are insured the third one is automatically listing me as the primary driver. I'd like to be able to be the 'secondary driver' to save money...anyone know if this is possible with this company?

Car Insurance Quote so high?

I'm an experienced driver here in Ontario Canada. I'm 26 years old and own a full G level driving license. My record is clean. I'm looking to get my first insurance coverage, with a used Toyota Sienna CE 2005. I would be the sole owner of the vehicle and only driver for the most part. Wont even be driving too often. However, I got two quotes and they are outrageous. about $350 a month for only liability coverage and the other even more. How come a clean record first time insuree ca get such bloated quotes?""

""Car insurance, do you have to be insured to drive another person car?""

My boyfriend sister wants to borrow my car for 6 weeks and there is no insurance on it. But if I was to insure it for myself, would his sister be able to insure but she has no insurance on any car. Does she have to be insured on another car for her to use mine. Hope that makes sense.""

On average how much is car insurance at 17?

on average for a ford ka 2000 a student girl driver (please dont recommend for me to go on go compare etc as i havent got the time thanks full points for best answer

Do I need my own insurance to rent a car?

I am a US citizen but I live outside the country. I'll be coming to the US for about two weeks over Thanksgiving and will need a rental car to get about and between the two places I'll be staying. Since I live outside the country, I don't have my own personal car insurance, as the country I live in doesn't require any. I have a PA driver's license, so I'm fine in that department. I just want to know - since the rental car companies don't explain anything - whether or not I need to have a my own insurance to take the car off the lot...OR, since the rental car companies are required by law to have liability coverage, which is the PA state minimum, am I able to just drive the car off the lot without ever giving proof of insurance. As far as I've been told, the last part is generally the standard - with the caveat that if I were to get into an accident, I would be responsible to all damage done to the vehicle itself, as well as myself. But I just want to make sure with anyone who's in the know.""

How do I get secondary health insurance?

I'm a full time graduate student currently receiving health insurance through my parents. However, my coverage sucks and I would like to purchase secondary insurance. I looked through all the different plans on einsurance.com (united, humana atena, etc), but when I called they told me that I can't purchase it when I already have insurance. I did some searches for secondary health insurance, but I can't find companies specifically for secondary insurance. It seems that I should be able to purchase any type of insurance I want and that the secondary company should pick up some of what my primary doesn't. Right?""

WHAT IS AN INSURANCE PREMIUM?

My partner did my insurance online without knowing i had an endorsement on the licence so when i add this to the existing policy does that mean my insurance policy goes up ...and what is my insurance premium ???

When I turn 17 will my car insurance or any kind of insurance rate decrease?

My dad wont pay for my car insurance until I'm 17 because he says it does down greatly but I asked some people and they said it doesn't change.

Does the color of your car effect your insurance rate? is it a myth or true??

I want to buy a car but i've heard so many diff. myths about the color effecting your insurance rate. Just wondering...

Will my car insurance premiums increase?

I just got pulled over for the second time in a 7 month period and was given a citation for turning right on no turn on red . Will my car insurance payments go up? How long does it usually take for the insurance company to find out about the citation?

I want to insure my car for only 4 months?

Can I do this and if so how? and what is the cheapest way? I used to be with Direct Line but canceled it when I went to Uni. Now I want my car back on the road but only for the summer holidays. Any company suggestions and how much it would cost would be great, its an M reg ford fiesta and im 19 if that makes any difference. Please help, Thanks :-)""

How accurate are online auto insurance quotes?

For example, Geico, Progressive, or Esurance? Are they accurate if you are honest about the information? And even though they don't ask for the VIN number?""

""Got into an accident , I have no car insurance but my dad has car insurance , will my dads insurance cover me?""

I failed to yield , I'm supposed to appear in court, what will happen? I'm under 18 and live with my parents and the damage wasn't a lot , just a scratch on the car I hit, will my dads insurance cover me? I don't use it a lot? What will happen? I also live in Illinois""

How much is insurance for under ground pools?

How much is insurance for under ground pools?

Proof of insurance issue (Houston)?

I received a ticket while visiting in Houston for not having a valid TX license and for a traffic violation. The ticket costs over $300, but I would like to take a driving class to lower the cost and avoid a points penalty. I was driving my friend's car when I got pulled over. She has insurance for her car and she was with me, but since I was driving, I got the ticket. I am currently not an any insurance policy and I need to send in the defensive driving course request with proof of insurance. Is it okay to send the insurance of her car? Please help. PS. I already took care of the license part. Thank you.""

Would you buy Health Insurance from Billy Mays?

First it was OxiClean, then there was Orange Glo, and then KaBoom! Now Billy Mays, your favorite infomercial personality is endorsing iCan, an affordable ...show more""

How much money do you typically get back from your insurance company if your car is totaled in an accident?

I was at fault, my car is the only one totaled. No one was injured...

What are some some affordable car insurances?

I am currently with State Farm and pay about $90/mo. I would like to switch to another ins. compay with prices around the same. I'm 24 with a clean driving record. So without giving out all my info, what car insurance do you have or know of?""

Car insurance when buying a new car?

I may be buying a new car this weekend but the renewal on my current car insurance isn't due until December - what is the usual procedure for this? Do I just call them and advise of the change of car and pay the difference? Also will my new renewal date then be in October every year? Or will I still then have to renew in December?

""Getting my own car, insurance and registration.?""

I'm getting my own car, but I don't have a license yet. So I was just wondering should I put it under my dad's name first? And also the registration and insurance. Should it be under my dad's name first or can I put it under my name? They were thinking about getting the insurance for me because it would be cheaper but would it be possible for them to get the insurance if the car is under my name?""

Is mutual insurance good?

One of the insurance brokers is asking for mutual insurance, I really dont know its good or not, If I ask him, he will say, its good to me. So asking you people. . Thanks""

""I was involved in a car accident on august 4, I got rear ended the how much will the insurance company settle4?

how much will a insurance company compensate you

What are the contents of an insurance premium?

What are the contents of an insurance premium?

What happens if you lie to a new car insurance provider?

I was cancelled for reasons out of my hands, apparently the insurance person didn't record I had spoken to them during a conversation. So my broker cancelled my insurance. Now everywhere I go they want to charge me a lot more for thsi cancellation and I can't get through to my company to try to have the cancellation revoked. What happens if I apply to another car insurance company and say i wasn't cancelled. I pay ontime there's nothing wrong, are they going to find out about the previous company somehow?""

AFFORDABLE auto insurance for 18 year old?

I am 18 years old. I live with my mom and younger non driving brother. My mother does not have her licence because she is not well and my little brother is to young to drive. I am ...show more

What is the average car insurance for a 16 year old?

I'm 16 years old, and just passed my drivers license test. I live in Washington State and am going to be driving a 2002 Hyundai Elantra. Does anyone know how much I could be looking at for insurance monthly? (my mom is currently insured with Progressive) -Thanks""

""What is the average price of Nissan Micra and Tiida (including tax,insurance,etc...) in India?""

What is the average price of Nissan Micra and Tiida (including tax,insurance,etc...) in India?""

Will a honda accord coupe have higher insurance than a sedan. (for a 16 year old)?

for my first car i am debating a mazda 3, a toyota camary or a handa accord coupe (2 door). how much higher is insurance on a honda accord coupe than a 4 door for a 16 year old driver. will it be rediculous. Also, my parents have a 7k spending limit and i have found some with under 100k mies. how long will they last if i treat it right?""

How much would insurance for a Lamborghini cost?

I'm most curious about the Sesto Elemento which I believe is being ordered for $900,000. Also license plates if anyone knows how much those would cost. I'm just curious, I'm mot rich.""

Pay car insurance if I'm going to be out of the country?

Hello, My car insurance is going to expire in 4 days and I was wondering If I should simply not pay it. I'm going out of the country for 1 month and will not be driving my car. I don't think that Progressive will let me push back my payments. Would it be cheaper or easier for me to just simply not pay, and get insurance when I return? I pay 5 installments of $50. If they charge a fee or something less than $50 it seems like I should not renew my policy. I've been on hold for a long time on the phone, and want a game plan when I finally talk to someone. Thanks for any advice!""

""Insurance wise, am I allowed to drive my parents' car?""

My parents bought me a car (Honda Accord), and my name is only under that car at the current moment, whilst their names are under all of the vehicles in this family. So, if I was driving my dad's Acura TL, registered under him and my mom, and I got pulled over for a random checkpoint, would I be okay?""

""Insurance, Drivers license, and insurance all from different states?""

Someone has told me that this is illegal and that it falls under the tri-state law but I havent been able to find any links or anything describing this situation. Im wondering because my husband has a California license and our truck is registered in Arizona with Missouri insurance (we live in Missouri now & my husband is active duty Army) When we contacted our insurance company when we moved here they just informed us that we would just need to make sure our insurance has where we currently live & keep the vehicle. According to the person who told me their husband had a TX license, KY registration, and NC insurance.""

Can I get arested 4 driving my car w/my name on the insurance if my dad calls the car(undr his nam) in stolen?

The car is under his name my name is on the insurance can I be arrested if my name is on the insurance and he calls it in stolen because he is mad that I left the state with it?

Can I take a Medical insurance policy now and use it?

I recently came to know that I need a small operation to my Nose which costs around 50000 INR. Doctor advised me to make it through Insurance. However I do not have any medical insurance yet. So Can I purchase a Medical Insurance now and get it operated in a few months?? Please let me know the best procedure. Here the Operation is not an emergency, but it is needed at a stage. Please suggest me.""

Best Type Policy Life Insurance Quotes for Elderly?

Any suggestions on finding a reasonable life insurance policy for a man 54 about to turn 55 in a month with a spouse would be appreciated. He has a soon to expire term life insurance policy at the present. He wants the best for his money. Is a term insurance policy still the best type of policy or would another policy be better?

Car insurance over 2 years break?

i havent had any car insurance for 2 and half years but if i go back to whom i was insured with will i be able to retieve my no claims discount of 70%

How much would it cost per month to finance a 2010 can-am 3 wheel motorcycle? ?

Also, how much would be the insurance for 6 months? I just want to get a ball park figure.""

What is the cheapest car insurance in Minnesota?

I am a new driver, but I am 21 years old and my car is an old model ( Geo metro 1997)""

Can anyone recommend a life insurance company that will insure a person deploying to a warzone (Afghanistan)?

I am a private contractor that would like additional life insurance above what my company offers. Thank you.

Insurance to volunteer at a clinic?

I was just offered an unpaid internship -type program through a veterinary clinic next to my university. I won't be getting paid and it will not help me with any credits, but it will provide me invaluable experience to get into vet school. However, they're requiring I get volunteer insurance (because it involves work with live animals) since I am an unpaid employee and will not be covered under them. How do I go about getting this? Thanks!""

Can someone please explain deductibles and coinsurance for medical insurance to me?

I'm getting health insurance for the first time on my own, so I really don't know anything about it. I tried having the woman from the insurance company explain it, but it still makes no sense to me. If I have an annual deductible of $2,000/$4,000 and my out of pocket max is $4,000/$8,000 what does this mean? And my coinsurance is 20%?""

Is a Kawasaki ninja 250 or a Kawasaki KLR650 cheaper insurance?

I'm looking for a first bike, I am 16 years old, 150LBS, 5'11''. Money is an issue so I will be getting maybe an 08 ninja or an older duel sport bike. Anybody have any estimates and anybody have any suggestions? I will only have about $3000 to spend. I am looking for liability insurance.""

How much money do you typically get back from your insurance company if your car is totaled in an accident?

I was at fault, my car is the only one totaled. No one was injured...

Aviation Insurance Question.?

How much do universities with aviation departments spend on average to insure their entire fleet of training aircraft annually?

Does anybody know of any insurance plans?

Im 20 yrs. I have no dental insurance or medical insurance. Does anyone know of anything that I can apply for? I have no job and I'm a full time student in college. Also, my parents do not have insurance either.""

What is the best car insurance company in NY?

What is the best car insurance company in NY?

How much is motorcycle insurance in Utah?

I am just wondering because I am 17, and I need to get to and back from work. Just give me a rough estimate please. That's all I need to know... Don't tell me to check with my family's insurance because it is too much work when I can just come on here and get an estimate to see if it is in my price range. Thanks ahead of time! I am planning on driving an old street legal dirt bike granted it isn't too pricey.""

How does a car qualify to be eligble for classic car insurance in the UK?

Are there specific companies that deal in this? Is it generally cheaper due to restrictions on the use of the car?

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas?

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas? I was notified by my insurance agent that there will be a new minimum liability coverage as of April, 1, 2008 here in Texas. Do any of ya'll know the answer to this? I found some info on the internet, but it only talks about the current minimum requirements, not the ones coming up. I also want to know this information so I can know what to expect and see where my insurance pricing/quote will be ranging. (I am a female, 18, and single). I also dont want to get ripped off :o) Any help will be highly appreciated. Thanks.""

Will my insurance go up?

I live in California. Here, the driver is responsible for the ticket and not the owner. My bf is 19 and im 18, and he drives very well but does have license because he uses his bike. He drove my car and got two tickets because he did not have his headlights on and a misdemeanor for an unlicensed driver. I read that my bf will have to pay $25 if he gets his license before court and $230 for no light. I was wondering will my insurance go up? and will my dad be notified?""

What's the average penalty for driving without insurance in England?

What sort of fine, and how many points?""

How to get health insurance?

I was laid off from work a little over two months ago. Unemployment pays me 405 a week. After taxes I bring home about $1400 for the month. I nearly get by now paying my rent and my car. How can I get health insurance at lo cost or no cost?

Is there a health insurance in PA that covers pre-existing conditions?

I just moved currently, from where my previous employer covered my insurance, now that I have moved, I need a insurance policy that covers immediately as I'm trying to figure out what is wrong. Please help.""

Are there any web sites that can give me a free quote on how much my monthly car insurance rates would be?

im buying a 2007 pontiac solstice today and i am wondering the insurance on it

Wht is d difference between 1 st party insurance and 3 rd party insurance?

i have a honda deo 2004 model which insurance should i go for ...why and how much should it cost?

I had a commercial accident in 2008 and looking for a chep insurance plz help?

I live in toronto i have been driving car with G licence since the end of 2000. i had a commercial accident in 2008 in which i was found guilty but no claim was paid. im still driving and looking for chaep insurance for a car. anybody's advice would be greatful.

Is hurricane Insurance mandatory on Fl homes?

Is hurricane Insurance mandatory on Fl homes?

Car Insurance Question?

First, I recently passed my road test and I am allowed to drive by myself. The problem is that the pink card (car insurance) has my parent's names on it and not mine. But, my parents recall putting me in a car insurance plan with them. So technically without my name on the card, I would be driving without insurance? And that's illegal right? (At least in Canada, Alberta) Would I be able to drive or no?""

How much my insurance be on a Lamborghini? ?

Hi I have looked at a few quotes online but I haven't found a site that will insure me or give me an accurate quote. I'm 21 been driving two years and the car is a Lamborghini Gallardo Sypder. Thanks

Car insurance information?

If you have full insurance on your vehicle and you was driving reckless and got into a accident is it covered.....

Are there any crotch rockets or street bikes in which i could get cheap insurance for?

Are there any crotch rockets or street bikes in which i could get cheap insurance for?

If i got a car as a gift and dont have insurance and a car hits me is that ok?

my friend gave me a car and i dont have insurance, but a guy hit me this morning, will his insurance pay for it?""

How much do you pay for your motorcycle insurance?

I just check for a quote for a cbr 600 f4 I wanted to buy and it quoted me $2,200 a year! Does that sound right? I'm 19, live in New york city, male. Whats your state, age, bike model, gender, and insurance rate?""

Does car insurance cost more for old people?

I'm doing a topic in my GCSE's and i have to gather information on weather old people should be allowed to drive... so i would apreciate it if you would comment on that as well. But what i wanted to know was weather car insurance costs more for people over 65 (because thats the age you can retire and get a pension) or for people under 65.

""Your credit rating can affect how much you pay for renters insurance,if so explain thoroughly.?""

Your credit rating can affect how much you pay for renters insurance,if so explain thoroughly.?""

I want to by a nissan s-cargo does anyone know anything about them or what the insurance cost is?

http://www.carfolio.com/specifications/models/car/?car=131516&Nissan-quote Nissan s-cargo this is the site for my car and I love it just curious what the insurance will before I make a offer and would like to hear opinions and stories about them.

A question about car insurance?

I recently got a statement from my insurance company saying that they can no longer support me because I got two tickets over the past three years (one was highway speeding, the other was a ticket given to me by a police officer who fabricated the location of infraction... I argued this in coiurt but I think I was not heard properly). I am paying around $ 1500... is it likely that I will be able to get cheaper car insurance somewhere else or is it pretty much the same everywhere?""

""Good/nice looking first cars for 17 year old boy, cheap to buy, cheap to insure?""

Good/nice looking first cars for 17 year old boy, cheap to buy, cheap to insure?""

How much money do you typically get back from your insurance company if your car is totaled in an accident?

I was at fault, my car is the only one totaled. No one was injured...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-do-i-cant-afford-insurance-child-support-jason-tucker"

[junker-town]

Calais Campbell played every spot on the Jaguars defensive line and dominated in Week 1

Campbell had 3.5 sacks in an upset win over the Texans. His dominate performance earned him retired NFL defensive end Stephen White’s Hoss of the Week award.

Last season when the Jacksonville Jaguars went out and broke the bank to sign Malik Jackson I immediately got excited. The reason being is that while Gus Bradley was the head coach, the Jags tried to emulate the Seattle Seahawks defense, where Bradley had been a defensive coordinator. I felt like Jackson — who played defensive end and three-technique in a 4-3 defense in college for my beloved Tennessee Vols and played four years in Denver all around the line in a 3-4 defense in the pros — would be the perfect guy to step into the "Michael Bennett" role in Jacksonville.

Welllll that didn't happen, much to my chagrin, as the Jaguars decided to instead play him almost exclusively at three-technique which to me was somewhat a waste of Jackson's biggest asset; his versatility. But hey, Bradley was fired last season and while several staff members, including new head coach Doug Marrone, were held over I figured there was a chance that they might re-think how they used Jackson this season.

Then the Jaguars went out and signed Calais Campbell this offseason to a four-year, $60 million dollar deal. I was basically like what the shit?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Calais Campbell fan. The dude kicked ass in Arizona the last nine years. At the same time, with Campbell being 31, I wondered why the Jaguars would be paying a guy that much money who might be on the downside of his career. Bigger than that I wondered just where the hell they planned on playing him.

Campbell is one of those rare guys who is really tall at 6'8, but is so good with his pad level that he played well inside. In Arizona's 3-4 defense you could find him lined up in several different positions both inside and outside. I thought he did the most damage from the interior rather than the edge.

With the Jaguars having two young defensive ends in 2015 first-round pick Dante Fowler and their third-round pick from last year, Yannick Ngakoue, who burst on the scene as a rookie with eight sacks, it didn't appear that there was a big need for a defensive end. And of course, with all that money they had already given Jackson, Campbell wasn't going to be his similarly high paid backup.

It looked like maybe this meant they re-thought things and would move Jackson around more and have Campbell as the three-technique. Turns out I had it exactly backwards.

In the first game of the year on Sunday it was Campbell who was playing that "Michael Bennett" role, and my goodness, was he fucking great at it.

I know everyone is jazzed about the four sacks (as they should be) but Campbell was stout against the run as well. But what was most impressive to me was his versatility playing all over the defensive line and dominating pretty much every where he lined up.

I'm seeing him basically two gap the left tackle to give his linebacker a free run to make a tackle for a one yard gain. I'm seeing him bench press the left tackle back into the running back with just his inside arm to help keep him to a minimal gain. I'm watching him haul ass to help make a tackle near the sideline on a smoke screen.

And that's before we get to the damage he did as a pass rusher.

Even then just saying Campbell got four sacks, and that they all came in the first half still doesn't do his performance justice.

The first sack came on the Texans' opening drive on offense with them facing a second-and-9.

Campbell was lined up at left defensive end and he absolutely destroyed Breno Giacomini, the Texans' right tackle.

He ran No. 68 slap over, and I swear it looked like a fucking avalanche had fallen on Houston quarterback Tom Savage when Campbell took him down on that play.

It really doesn't get much better than that.

Campbell's second sack came early on in the second quarter with the Texans facing a third-and-12.

This time it was all effort that allowed him to take Savage down again. Campbell was lined up as the right three-technique over Texans left guard Xavier Su'a-Filo's outside shoulder. Off the snap he tried to knock Su'a-Filo's outside hand down with his outside hand down, but unfortunately Campbell missed which allowed Su'a-Filo to grab him in a bear hug.

Hey, that shit happens to the best of us.

But instead of shutting it down and allowing himself to remain blocked, Campbell stayed active and when Savage tried to scramble up the middle because nobody was open, Campbell was able to rip off inside of Su'a-Filo's block and take Savage down before he could get past the line of scrimmage.

The third sack came with 10:55 left in the second quarter and the Texans facing a third-and-6.

The Jaguars ran what was either a called pass rush game or just a "natural" game where one guy sees an opening and just goes. Campbell was lined up as the three-technique again. Ngakoue was lined up outside him as the right defensive end.

Ngakoue got upfield four steps and then tried to come inside Texans left tackle Kendall Lamm with a rip move. Campbell, who had initially bull rushed Su'a-Filo, looped outside around Ngakoue to exchange pass rush lanes with him.

Campbell was so quick that he ended up scott free and took down Tom Savage down like it was nothing.

(Mind you there is a whole other conversation to be had about how the Texans' coaching staff didn't do either of their quarterbacks any favors and how there wasn't anybody open on a lot of the plays when Savage got taken down, just like this one. Sacks don't come with an asterisk, and Campbell still worked his ass off to get that one so he still deserves all the credit for making the play).

The fourth sack came after the Texans had already moved the ball down to the Jaguars 31-yard line with a little over a minute left in the first half.

Houston appeared to be threatening to score for the first time all afternoon.

Campbell was lined up as the right three-technique again, but this time he hit Su'a-Filo with what I like to call the ghost move. Instead of going with a power rush, Campbell came off and used his inside hand to knock Su'a-Filo's hand down. In one motion Campbell then swatted Su'a-Filo's shoulder with his outside hand while turning his hips to get skinny through the B gap. It looks like initially Cambpell planned on finishing the move with an arm over, but he went to a rip move to escape off and beat Su'a-Filo clean.

Savage was BBQ chicken.

In addition to those sacks Campbell also hit Savage on two other occasions that didn't result in a sack.

The first hit came with 2:02 left in the first quarter and Campbell lined up at left defensive end. He took a couple steps up field then beat Giacomini like a drum with a quick arm over inside. The only thing that saved Savage's ass that play was he was already in shotgun and it was a three-step drop, but Campbell still blasted him pretty good.

The second hit came with 10:20 left in the third quarter after the Texans switched quarterbacks to Deshaun Watson. Campbell was again lined up at left defensive end, but this time right before the snap he stood up and moved inside on left guard Jeff Allen's outside shoulder.

Campbell's power was on full display as he literally knocked Allen on his ass on the way to knocking Watson on his. Once again the only thing that saved the quarterback from taking a sack was shotgun combined with a three-step drop.

Unfortunately the play technically didn't count since Nuk Hopkins was called for offensive pass interference on the play. Even though the pass was incomplete, which would have made it third-and-10, the Jags decided to accept the penalty (I'm still trying to understand why, especially when the Texans eventually ended up scoring their first TD on that drive but what evs). Ask Watson if thinks that hit counts, though.

But that's not all.

Campbell also forced a holding call late in the fourth quarter with my favorite pass rush move; the long arm.

He was once again lined up as the left defensive end and came off and stabbed Giacomini in the middle of his chest with his inside arm. As Giacomini tried to shoot his punch at him, Campbell effortlessly knocked Giacomini's outside hand off with his outside hand, then took his inside hand off Giacomini's chest and finished with a rip with to escape off the block. Campbell was just about to take Watson down when, out of desperation, Giacomini grabbed him and dragged him to the ground.

Thankfully the refs actually called the blatant hold for once and the Texans had to go back 10 yards. I have to say, for the refs to be full time now they still missed a bunch of those this weekend.

But I digress.

Plain and simple Calais Campbell balled TF out this weekend. I’m not sure he can keep up this level of play all season, but one thing is for sure — Campbell started this season off with a bang on Sunday. The Jaguars came away with a huge division road victory in no small part because of his play.

While he isn't the guy I thought would be playing that "Michael Bennett" role it turns out he was the right dude for the job after all. For his efforts I'm happy to award Calais Campbell the first Hoss Of The Week for the 2017 season.

If he keeps playing like that he might mess around and be the run away choice for Hoss Of The Year, tbh.

[vincentbnaughton]

Renters: 5 Must-Do Tasks to Handle Before You Move

Editor’s note: For many people, spring kicks off prime moving season. Wherever you’re headed, being well prepared to relocate will help minimize the upheaval and ensure that you can get settled into your new place as painlessly as possible. Every day this week, we’ll be giving you the resources you need to get ready to move.

When Barry Blanton moved with his wife from Eugene, OR into a rented unit in a high-rise residential tower in downtown Seattle, he thought he had his bases covered.

He had measured the size of his new living room, and knew that his furniture would fit perfectly. Once the movers got his couch through the new entryway, however, they faced an insurmountable problem: The couch was too big to maneuver past two curves in the hallway.

“It sat in the hallway for a week before my wife rented a van to move it,” says Blanton. “We had to crawl over it to get into the bathroom.”

The fact that Blanton is the principal at Seattle-based property management and development consulting firm Blanton Turner - and has worked in the industry for most of his adult life - only underscores how easy it is for renters to make mistakes when moving.

Measure - then measure again

Despite best planning efforts, such logistical issues are surprisingly common when people are moving familiar belongings into an unfamiliar space, says Blanton.

Knowing the dimensions of a room and the things being moved into it isn’t enough. “Think about the bottlenecks,” Blanton advises. “Not just where something’s going to go, but how it’s going to get there.”

He recalls a situation in which a young man moving into an apartment was able to get his loaded moving truck into a building’s garage, but found that once all his furniture was unloaded, the now-lighter truck was too tall to get back out without hitting overhead ductwork and sprinkler heads (more on this later).

The man and his friends spent hours filling the truck with weights from the property’s exercise room just to lower it enough to safely exit.

Make reservations

When moving into any multi-story building - especially one in a crowded downtown neighborhood - it’s important to make arrangements ahead of time with the building’s management team. More than likely, you’ll need to reserve the elevator.

“This isn’t something you tell them that morning,” warns Blanton. “If you’re moving on a Saturday at the end of the month, there could be four or five other people moving that day.” (Don’t forget to schedule use of the elevator at the building you’re moving from, as well.)

And if you’re bringing a moving pod or parking a moving truck on the street, make sure you have the proper permits. Most multi-family properties will be able to help with this, as will moving companies. “Moving companies do earn their money, especially in an urban environment,” says Blanton.

Document your environment

In the age of ubiquitous technology, it’s easier than ever to take photos of any pre-existing damage in your rental.

Before you get settled, pull out your phone and snap pictures of any damage such as scuffed floors, chipped countertops or bent window blinds - then send the photos to yourself so they’re date-stamped.

It’s easier to refer to the photos at move-out than argue with the building manager about who cracked the Formica and when.

Prepare to clean

When it’s time to move, few renters look forward to the deep cleaning that’s required upon vacating a unit. If you plan to use a cleaning service, Blanton suggest hiring the same company that your building uses - that way there won’t be a gap in expectations.

“There’s nothing worse than spending the entire day cleaning your apartment, then having someone come in and point out all the things you missed,” notes Blanton.

If you want to save money and do it yourself, keep in mind some of the things renters often forget to clean: window tracks, underneath the stovetop burner pans, beneath the crisper drawers in the fridge, the rim around the dishwasher door, and behind the toilet.

Stay insured

Most renters know that protecting their property with renters insurance is important, but many forget to update their policy when they move to a new residence.

Renters insurance doesn’t just protect your belongings, it also covers damage you may inadvertently do to the building itself.

Remember that overhead sprinkler mentioned earlier? Accidentally breaking that off with a moving truck could cause flooding - and a great deal of damage. Depending on the building’s insurance policy - and temperament of the manager - you could be on the hook for the building’s insurance deductible, if not more.

Contact your insurance company before you move. It’s an easy call to make, and it could help you avoid costly penalties later.

Get more advice about renting in our Renters Guide.

Related:

Packing Up and Making Your Move, DIY or With a Pro

10 Ways to Make Sure You Get Your Security Deposit Back

Checklist: Everybody You Need to Notify When You’re Moving

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Renters: 5 Must-Do Tasks to Handle Before You Move

Editor’s note: For many people, spring kicks off prime moving season. Wherever you’re headed, being well prepared to relocate will help minimize the upheaval and ensure that you can get settled into your new place as painlessly as possible. Every day this week, we’ll be giving you the resources you need to get ready to move.

When Barry Blanton moved with his wife from Eugene, OR into a rented unit in a high-rise residential tower in downtown Seattle, he thought he had his bases covered.

He had measured the size of his new living room, and knew that his furniture would fit perfectly. Once the movers got his couch through the new entryway, however, they faced an insurmountable problem: The couch was too big to maneuver past two curves in the hallway.

"It sat in the hallway for a week before my wife rented a van to move it," says Blanton. "We had to crawl over it to get into the bathroom."

The fact that Blanton is the principal at Seattle-based property management and development consulting firm Blanton Turner - and has worked in the industry for most of his adult life - only underscores how easy it is for renters to make mistakes when moving.

Measure - then measure again

Despite best planning efforts, such logistical issues are surprisingly common when people are moving familiar belongings into an unfamiliar space, says Blanton.

Knowing the dimensions of a room and the things being moved into it isn't enough. "Think about the bottlenecks," Blanton advises. "Not just where something's going to go, but how it's going to get there."

He recalls a situation in which a young man moving into an apartment was able to get his loaded moving truck into a building's garage, but found that once all his furniture was unloaded, the now-lighter truck was too tall to get back out without hitting overhead ductwork and sprinkler heads (more on this later).

The man and his friends spent hours filling the truck with weights from the property's exercise room just to lower it enough to safely exit.

Make reservations

When moving into any multi-story building - especially one in a crowded downtown neighborhood - it's important to make arrangements ahead of time with the building's management team. More than likely, you'll need to reserve the elevator.

"This isn't something you tell them that morning," warns Blanton. "If you're moving on a Saturday at the end of the month, there could be four or five other people moving that day." (Don't forget to schedule use of the elevator at the building you're moving from, as well.)

And if you're bringing a moving pod or parking a moving truck on the street, make sure you have the proper permits. Most multi-family properties will be able to help with this, as will moving companies. "Moving companies do earn their money, especially in an urban environment," says Blanton.

Document your environment

In the age of ubiquitous technology, it's easier than ever to take photos of any pre-existing damage in your rental.

Before you get settled, pull out your phone and snap pictures of any damage such as scuffed floors, chipped countertops or bent window blinds - then send the photos to yourself so they're date-stamped.

It's easier to refer to the photos at move-out than argue with the building manager about who cracked the Formica and when.

Prepare to clean

When it's time to move, few renters look forward to the deep cleaning that's required upon vacating a unit. If you plan to use a cleaning service, Blanton suggest hiring the same company that your building uses - that way there won't be a gap in expectations.

"There's nothing worse than spending the entire day cleaning your apartment, then having someone come in and point out all the things you missed," notes Blanton.

If you want to save money and do it yourself, keep in mind some of the things renters often forget to clean: window tracks, underneath the stovetop burner pans, beneath the crisper drawers in the fridge, the rim around the dishwasher door, and behind the toilet.

Stay insured

Most renters know that protecting their property with renters insurance is important, but many forget to update their policy when they move to a new residence.

Renters insurance doesn't just protect your belongings, it also covers damage you may inadvertently do to the building itself.

Remember that overhead sprinkler mentioned earlier? Accidentally breaking that off with a moving truck could cause flooding - and a great deal of damage. Depending on the building's insurance policy - and temperament of the manager - you could be on the hook for the building's insurance deductible, if not more.

Contact your insurance company before you move. It's an easy call to make, and it could help you avoid costly penalties later.

Get more advice about renting in our Renters Guide.

Related:

Packing Up and Making Your Move, DIY or With a Pro

10 Ways to Make Sure You Get Your Security Deposit Back

Checklist: Everybody You Need to Notify When You’re Moving