#and im still grieving things

[napping-sapphic]

I talk so much about how i want to fall in love for all the things i could do for someone and all the things someone could do for me but deep down, if i’m being honest, i want to fall in love because i just so desperately need to know that love is actually real and that there are people out there capable of truly loving me

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #just like growing up and losing so many relationships #friendship and family relationships all of it #it’s hard to remember that there are people out there who can love you and that that love will stay #regardless of whether or not you can give them something #idk all the love in my life just feels gone and i don’t really think there’s anything i love anymore sometimes #but then i remember the world is big and i should stop worrying so much for now #i dont know my life is a mess lately #and it’s 5 am and i haven’t slept #and im still grieving things #and hope and patience are so hard sometimes #and there’s something about the ugly side of the whole idea of ‘yearning’ that i think about a lot #because so much of my yearning ISN’T pretty or wistful #it’s achingly desperate and lonely and uncertain #i dont know #i dont know if any of this is worded right #or if it’s all nonsense and i should just be quiet and go to sleep #idk

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually! #not july :) she was actually really bad :) #tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol #my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it #on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like #just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing #anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me #it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans #were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with #esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks #ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much #it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually #this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS

[blueskittlesart]

swings with you. i think sidon is the perfect capsulation of how men and mlm ships take precedent. he's a fairly boring character 😭 the only thing he really has going for him is that he's hot and "himbo" so ppl r obsessed w shipping him w twink link.

why are conversations about sidon so predominant when the narrative of totk is so clearly putting more focus on zelda. can she have one thing im begging here

thank god im not the only one. christ. like i feel like the only thing sidon has going for him is that he's a hot man. his story is like. fairly straightforward 'i had a family member who died and i am grieving her' which like. multiple other characters in botw had. i would argue that the other champions in botw had more interesting stories than him (riju's struggles to lead her people at age FOURTEEN, teba fighting for his son and the future of his family, etc etc.) sidon isn't a BAD character by any means but he wasn't a GREAT character either and i NEVER saw any chemistry between him and link. 90% of what people seem to like about him is just. fanon shit. can we please just drop him and talk about women for once i am begging

#AND HE ISNT EVEN REALLY A HIMBO IN THE GAME?? #like i assume that came from the whole 'never met a hylian' thing maybe??? but that was just like. because he is a zora. #they are an isolated society and on their timescale the calamity happened very recently of course he was sheltered??? #like someone please show me the textual himbo sidon evidence. i do not see it #asks #also not to be insane but i feel like no sidlink shipper EVER has considered the like. actual implications of this ship. #'hello ex boyfriend of my dead sister who i am still grieving for. she wanted to marry you btw. want to date me now' ????????????? #ugh. anyway. i swear i do not hate sidlink guys im just SO TIRED

[ghostlyleech]

me when i get a utrh angst edit on my fyp and the comments are filled with jason haters:

(i hate when people hate on jason or bruce for what happened during utrh like they both had their reasons and were both valid for them it doesn't make one more right then the other tho and definitely doesn't warrant hate for either of them)

#like im not saying that he's a saint or anything lots of the things he did was terrible and even with the whole pit rage thing #and talia's manipulating him he still did bad things #but the comments were acting like bruce was completely right like yeah it was bad that jason taunted him with dick's(supposed) death #but he was also angry and scared and grieving #they both were #they both made mistakes but it doesnt make one or the other right or wrong they both had their reasons for doing the things they did #just the comments calling jason an idiot and saying he was making it about himself like yeah?? it was literally HIS death #like yeah bruce suffered from grief for so long but like he wasn't the one who died and came back to see his murderer still alive #rant #batfam #jason todd #rant post #batman #bruce wayne #batman and robin #under the red hood

[hopefullystillliving]

You ever get lulled into a false sense of security during the first two thirds of a kid's movie that's good with a serious plot but mostly a pretty fun time, only to have the entire final third tear your heart out, chew it up and spit it out, crush it into even finer paste beneath its heel, and add the fine powder your ribs have been turned into by the sledgehammer it whammed you with as a seasoning?

Anyway Nimona was great, 10/10 would recommend, I was crying on and off for what probably totaled 20 minutes of tears.

#hopeful rambling #nimona #cw graphic #i think that's probably the right tag for that description #anyway yes im a little late to the train but i was waiting until i could watch it with my dearest #my takeaway is that they should put a content warning on it for trans people especially bc you will feel punched in the face #that allegory sure can trans. #i think i related to it in a different way than most people #bc being genderqueer yeah nimona going im not a girl im just myself hit home but im not *trans* #so i think i actually ended up projecting onto balistar as someone who deeply loves a trans person (different ways obviously) #being told 'yes you can rejoin the society you betrayed you aren't like *her* you arent a monster everything can go back to what it was #you can be one of the good guys if you reject the freaks' #but they betrayed you first and the good guys aren't good and how things were is worse actually than saying i love you i see you im with you #to the freaks and the monsters who will accept who you are unlike the society that never will always keeping you to an impossible standard #of never being yourself #so yeah the religious/societal prejudice trauma was very felt at some points #and i grieved for nimona not because she was me but because she was my dearest and she was a friend #and she was a thousand people i will never know who decided it was better to die as yourself than be killed as someone you aren't #and didn't have a person to say im sorry. i see you. #anyway. yeah im still crying. altered my brain chemistry is mild i think it rearranged my organs punched a hole in my chest and i thanked it #nimona spoilers

[tarotmantic]

p2 but they’re real and in my phone and about ten minutes from being cancelled bc of a thunderstorm

#fob #fall out boy #pete wentz #patrick stump #sorry i won’t stop bringing it up im still grieving #i filmed the few songs we got but like soooo badly like they’re not even in frame really half the time #this is one of the better shots obviously #good things festival

[joelletwo]

gintama is about. setting up takasugi as a char who could be his own shounen protag by personality and life circumstances slowly slowly slowly while also feeding me 10000 episodic plots about the unfair deaths of men with people who love them and dont grieve them until too late guided by gintoki who stoically witnesses every single one and grieves them for people. so that i cant even be upset about anything "unfair" about takasugi's death/life "wasted" spending a decade of it stuck grieving and ended grieving. bc if i start thinking about anything unfair about his death im immediately pattern recognitioningly like. ohhhhh this is just like that random guy gintoki brought dignity to in death. and gintoki cant do it this time so i have to right right right i get it. ill get a good grade in that ive been trained for it. o7

#sopping wet gintoki posting #but still ksjdfg takasugi never got to resolve any of his PRE-shouyou grieving. became unimportant i guess. SUCH THINGS HAPPEN #i cant do that for katsura kjhsdfg someone else has to #im still too mad to think about katsura.

[ccbatman]

I once said that I thought Steph would make a great Black Canary, and I still think that's one of the realest takes I've ever had.

Like, this moment seared itself into my head and never faded:

{ Robin 80-Page Giant }

#stephanie brown #dinah lance #spoiler #black canary #me learning about how dinah lost her cry which was as much BULLSHIT as steph's death btw okay hold on i need to get this out of my system #because they had to nerf her SO HARD for that to make sense and it STILL DIDNT BECAUSE ?????? SHE'S THE BLACK CANARY???? THAT GUY WAS A #NOBODY WITH A KNIFE ARE YOU JOKING??? and then the story that follows isnt even really ABOUT dinah it's about ollie and im so. ohhhh my god #JUST like how steph's death was largely brished aside to deal with bruce and jason's angst like. yeah i wanted there to be angst but it #wouldve been nice if it had been about HER for more than five seconds. honestly im so mixed about her death and return tbh. the way they #went about her passing was so weirdly inconsistent through the issues that bruce managing to get her to leslie in time does make sense but #then they do that weird thing with leslie and it's like ???? wha???? i go back and forth on how i feel about steph's return. on one hand i #love how she comes back more focused and stronger largely by her own means but on the other i did want #... something. i wanted her to be angry a bit longer and to deal with the complicated emotions between her 'failing' and bruce's 'failing' #and what that meant for her now. idk i love her batgirl run but it wouldve been nice if she had a bit more space to grieve herself. #anyway later in this issue dinah agrees to mentor steph for a bit and her rules are pretty much the same as bruce's when he made her robin #and if dinah had mentored steph instead of bruce she never would've died ok send tweet #wjshshsk #i love the panels of them looking at each other. dinah looking into steph's eyes and recognising the look in them. #i love how she smiles at stephanie both times. it's so gentle and kind. ily black canary #love posting on blogs where no one follows me. i can just say shit

[whynotimtired]

I THINK I FUCKING CRACKED IT WHEN THEY THOUGHT WILL WAS JUST GOING THROUGH PTSD AND HIS MIND WAS MAKING UP BEING IN THE UPSIDE DOWN FOR HIS "EPISODES" MIKE THOUGHT THAT WHEN HE SAW OR HEARD EL IT WAS JUST THAT. AN EPISODE. HE THOUGHT IT WAS PTSD CAUSE WILL WAS GOING THROUGH THE SAME FUCKING THING

#AND THEY WERE BOTH REAL #CRAZY FUCKING TOGETHER YOU GUYS #i know this is normie shit i know we already know this but i feel like im having a revelation #mike thought she was dead. but he couldnt completely give up hope cause he did that once and will ended up being alive. #he doesnt want to cement her death in his head cause then what if she comes back. but he thought it. he still grieved. she WAS dead to him #'shes gone. just like they took bob.' bob having been murdered like 20 minutes ago #'i never gave up on you' i tried so hard not to give up on you. not like last time. #DAMN #mike wheeler #stranger things #el hopper #elmike #will byers #byler #byeler

[scream-mans-friend]

the past two years ive been both employed damn near close to full time and going through a dense degree program, but my office internship is now over and I am hunting for a full time gig which does fill some of my days, but i still have not had this much free time in a long while. so im finally circling some of my fic ideas/drabbles like a shark that smells blood in the water and im finally developing the plot so it has an actual story that i feel good about...

#my classes take up a whole two days out of the week. tomorrow im going to write a report which will take most of the day yea but its insane #what do i do. like i finally have time for my hobbies again which is ground breaking. the last short employment gap i had i was too busy #grieving the job and failing interviews and also dealing with lots of tests and other stuff life threw at me to appreciate it #im still dealing with a lot of bullshit drama right now to be real. I can feel the stress shaving off years of my life. but damn man #this employment gap actually feels nice for now. like i can actually do things i enjoy (so long as i avoid the bullshit drama)

[orcelito]

As for my post this morning. If anyone was worried. Me personally I'm okay (I guess) but my dad's in the hospital and things r still very up in the air. So.

#speculation nation #bracing myself for the possibility of Major Grief.....2!!!! #well actualy more like 3 or 4 or 5 (lol lol lol) #but likely the worst one bc it's. my dad. that's my dad. #i left work early to visit him at the hospital. hes stable rn at least (he wasnt this morning) #he wasnt conscious though. and i really really hope he ends up okay #but. i still saw my dad unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to like a million tubes and #thats my dad. Thats my Dad. #im really trying to not do my processing until after i know for sure how things are gonna go #dont wanna start grieving until after he's officially gone #so im trying not to think about it. but it's still... yeah. unpleasant. #and theres a part of me thats so so resentful. if i have to have a dead parent why would it be the Good one? #take my fucking mom instead. hell my life would even be BETTER without her. horrible as that is to say. #but it's my dad. he's not perfect. he has his flaws. but he's still tried in a way she never ever did. #seeing him like that makes me feel so... small. makes me remember being picked up by him. #makes me remember riding on the back of his harley as a tiny little 10 year old with a helmet that was giant on me #we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad. #sorry. this is probably too real for my tumblr dot com. it's just been... a lot today. #negative/ #death/ #hospitals ment/ #idfk. sorry

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I KEEP GETTING RECOMMENDED SO MANY DRAMIONE TWEETS HELP

I don't understand where they're all cOMING FROOMM why do they all HATE ASTORIA WHAT DID MY GIRL DO TO YALL BFFR LEAVE HER ALONE 🗣🗣

#i barely even use twitter man #but i keep getting them pushed towards me WHY #if you ship dramione then good for you idc‼️but i did not ask for all these tweets and why are half of them allergic to respecting astoria😭 #the amount of dramione shippers who make astoria an arranged marriage who dies after giving birth and never mention her again is just 💀💀 #im going to scream put some RESPECT ON MY GIRLS NAME #if youre gonna include scorpius in the fic or headcanon or whatever THE ONLY THING I WILL ACCEPT IS THEY HAD A LOVING MEANINGFUL MARRIAGE #‼️WHICH THEY DID‼️ #and then she dies like canon 🙄🙄 and draco spends ages grieving BUT ALWAYS KEEPS ASTORIA IN THE PICTYRE TALKS ABOUT HER THINKS ABOUT HER #ESPECIALLH AROUND SCORPIUS THAT IS HIS WHOLE MUM OKAY #SHE IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE #and then 🙄🙄 i guess 🙄🙄 hes allowed to heal and move on BUT HE STILL BETTER KNOW SHE IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND SHE WILL BE MENTIONED AT #EVERY POSSIBLE MOMENT 🤺🤺🤺🤺 #i saw one tweet which was like omg arranged marriage astoria she dies rught after giving birth and then HERMIONE SATRTS BABYSITTING!!! 😝😍 #AND THEN SCORPIUS CALLS HER MAMA 🤭🤭🤭 AND DRACOS LIKE OMG SO TRUE SHE BASICALLY IS HIS MOTHERR #when i tell you i felt so much rage #AND ASTORIA WAS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL SINCE THE FIRST PART OF ARRANGED MARRIAGE GAVE BIRTH DIED LIKE EXCUSE ME #SHUT UP???????? #im still mad can you tell #the treatment of women in hp both canon and fanon tbh is my roman empire i will never not be thinking about it #it makes me so so angry #and all the replies to it were like omg so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺 hermiones his mum now! #dracos in love now!! 🥺🥺🥺 #shut the FUCK UP #i know a lot of it is caused by the fact we know jackshit about astoria because her treatment in canon is not much better but plz 😭😭 #yall made the marauders fandom outta nothing and you cant use a little imagination to make sure astoria isnt just a FUCKING INCUBATOR?? #astoria greengrass you deserve so much better babygirl #astoria greengrass #hpcc #im scared to tag draco malfoy the stans might come for me #i am so god awfully sorry about the amount of tags here oh my days

[thatoneluckybee]

Does anyone else get. Almost like a hyperfixation burnout esque thing? Once I’ve moved on from an INTENSE hyperfixation I don’t really or am unable to interact with the media for a few months. Sad.

#i hope this dont happen with yttd sob #adhd for me #maybe the maybe autism? #but like #rn its owl house #I WAS OBSESSED #and i still love it so much!!! but i can tbring myself to ever save pins of it anymore or read the comics or couuuugujhhhhgjhjfkdl #eventually i will be able to again lol #same thing happened with dangan and now im back kinda lurking the fandom again just rewatching and occasionally popping in #moving on from a hyperfixation should not be something to grieve T-T #rambles #fambles? #fambles

[willosword]

btw im about 70% sure lucifer's gonna die in the finale but i hope not bc like..... i hate when depressed dads die in shows :(

#im literally still grieving from harrow tdp that's how sad it makes me #but logically i know lucifer being around causes a lot of problems for the stakes #hard to have conflict when the king of hell is around to snap his fingers and protect charlie from danger #willow whispers #hazbin hotel #i would Love for them to surprise me and make his absence more of a character-flaw based thing tho #like maybe he panics at the last second and runs away/shuts everyone out. that would be super interesting

[the-kipsabian]

heeeeey boyyyyy whatcha planning, cause thats a familiar looking clementine right there 👀👀👀

#i have been grieving today tbh cause that botb match was almost a year ago now.... #so he couldnt have timed this better #but i dont wanna fantasy book myself into sadness over things that will never happen #but yeah this. he hasnt done this in a while #he still loves his sweet sweet clementine 💜 #wrestling #kip sabian #orange cassidy #im tagging them both shut up they are in love #orangekip #boxman saga

[arobinwithoutbatman]

((Okay but the fact that each knight hears something different when you go and do the training tutorial.

Dick: "Let go of your self doubt and focus on my voice" and "I'm proud of you, Dick"

Barbara: "Let go of your pain and pay attention to my voice" and "Jim would be proud of you"

Jason: "Let go of your anger and listen to the sound of my voice" and "You've come so far, Jason"

Tim: "Let go of your grief and concentrate on my voice" and "Some day you'll surpass even me"))

#ooc #it says a lot about where each of their heads are at #still dont know if it's something they imagine whilst being in a vaguely meditative state as they pracitce #or if theres hologram stuff of some kind going on or what #im leaning more towards vaguely meditative because tim doesnt have much of a reason to be grieving until bruce died #so i highly doubt bruce prerecorded that #so i reckon theyre all imagining things theyd like to hear because... well they're all grieving now