#and it hates me right the fuck back

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

#undertale yellow #uty #my art #<- ifg #spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad #that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways #CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO??? #i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly #but THE CUTSCENES?!?!? #JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD #ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO #LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER #ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD #BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK. #AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE #n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of #everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS #WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING #AAND THE GROUP HUGG #I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD #AND THE FUCKOGN #THE F U C K I N G #AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD #to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho #and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump #just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece #anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way #this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to #oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig

[kristalijah]

HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!! I REPEAT, HE'S CHECKING OUT GARY!!!!

#i havent posted anything on this site for years and i talk for these bitches..... as it should be #hes doing the marceline sexy smoldering eyes too i cant take this #i havent seen anyone talk about this and i am LOSING it over this detail i need everyone and their mother to know this #i already commented about this on youtube and someone was already doubting like 'i thought hes looking at the lemoncarbs' #AND I WILL SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT. U CAN SEE HIS EYES GO DOWN (TO WHERE GARY'S ASSETS ARE) THEN UP TO MEET HIS EYES WHEN HE LOOKS BACK #the lemoncarbs are clearly to the left where gary is staring at in horror.....keep up people. #he doesnt look at the lemoncarbs once until they started insulting gary's cute lil baking with the 'i hate their little faces' line #and then u can see his eyes move from left (to where lemoncarbs are) to right to look at gary again. #THERE. CASE OVER #I BETTER NOT SEE ANYONE INVALIDATE THEIR OBVIOUS FUCKING FLIRTING OR I WILL #cry. theyre very important to me. i love bubbline/gumlee so much i will die for them #its also funny that hes doing that NOW when our boy is clearly stressed tf out #its giving 'hate to see you leave love to see you go' energy lmaooo #gumlee #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time fionna and cake #gary prince #marshall lee

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something #positive instead #this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling #their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it #i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them #i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be #safe from our oppressors #and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN' #guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too #trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men #if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit #from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors #so #terfs fuck off #radfems fuck off #and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer #feminism #misogyny #sexism #patriarchy #tw men #tw rape #tw abuse #misandry #terfs dni #radfems dni #feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit #men are entitled to nothing from us #and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling #ok? ok.

[scintillyyy]

also i think there's a tendency to cherrypick tim's moments of morally grey thought musings as a gotcha for the idea that tim is totally cool with murder and just one bad day away from shanking someone only kept in line by the "rules", when in reality. tim's thoughts of moral greyness, the ruminations on what they're doing and why they're doing it the way they do and why they can't cross the line they set. he's not. alone in that. like. at ALL. dick has reckoned with wanting to kill someone (sigh. the joker). dick lowkey didn't want to give someone a chance at redemption simply because he hurt bruce (bane). bruce has thought about killing (and almost killed) both the joker & black mask. bruce is very frequently ruminating on his role and why he can't kill even if he wants to. barbara has very seriously considered killing and has wanted to kill. cassandra has killed and used that as the basis of her staunch belief that nobody dies tonight, but she's also still in frequent conversation with what that means ethically and morally. tim having doubts or trying to remind himself why they do what they do or debating their rules to himself is not some grand outlying abnormality here, it's par for the fucking course.

#barbara almost headshotted black mask but tim made a joke about using guns he's clearly barely refraining from killing someone /s #sorry. just. it's like tim always gets called out for this in particular and he's not even the worst offender #this is fucking gun batman's fault isn't it. he's my worst enemy for a reason and the worst mistake ever #was bringing him back after the one stupid story like he's some kind of inevitability when the point #is that tim would genuinely rather die than become him. #don't talk to me about that guy (gun batman) i hate him #anyways the point is that they're all in conversation with themselves about why they do what they do #it's actually super important that they are! because it's very human to want to go against your morals if it seems easier #and the point is that it takes strength of character to make a conscious choice to do what you think is right #even when it's hard and it's the last thing you want to do

[ewwww-what]

They are never beating the cozy allegations.

#conked out while talking about nerd shit #they’re so fucking cringe I hate their guts #/aff #they have the best friends necklaces on by the way I want to point that out specifically #because they are best friends #extremely important to me #I’ve been trying to figure out how to do the whole fantasy height differences thing #so I’m between riz being ball size as he is described #or like #5 feet tall y’know? #he gives me so much grief every time i draw him #I’ll figure it out probably #the consequences of listening to warsh tippy and zelda right before bed #on my behalf #I made this low effort on purpose it is a physical battle for me not to go back and edit it #(I did anyway cause I forgot Fabian’s patch) #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #d20 fanart #riz fh #riz fantasy high #riz gukgak #fabian fantasy high #fabian fh #fabian seacaster #undescribed #my art

[vigilskeep]

i need to wynnepost. somebody has to

#its crazy how people will assume she is all the tropes she subverts and then ignore her #also how sympathy for circle mages’ indoctrination only lasts until they get old i guess and then fuck them #because its not as if they were ever a terrified child who’d never had anything better than a single templar’s mildest kindness and any kind #of home even if it was the tower #so an orphan kid who had no memory of anything but scurrying between farmsteads and hiding in barns #didnt want to leave. what a shock. you guys dont get the place comfort has in keeping circle mages complicit #so it’s violent and terrible and you never have privacy and your children get murdered and you’re always watched and hated #its also a warm bed and community and a chance to succeed #do you honestly think every kid from fucking THEDAS knows theres anything better out there #that doesnt make the circle good. it makes it horrific that they prey on vulnerable kids to teach them the world hates them #and only the circle is ‘safe’ #i just think there should be some sympathy for those kids and what they grow up into #its easy for the player to walk in and say their character would hate the circle and never have listened to the templars #its easy for say an amell or even a surana with a family back home to not fear what they left behind #wynne genuinely thinks without the circle mages would all be murdered and she’ll fight and die protecting her fellow mages #from the right of annulment #yes its a flaw that she goes on to teach others the circle must be tolerated and that is precisely how the circle is perpetuated ove #over generations #but its amazing to me to just act like its her fault #well. this is more tags than i expected it to be

[chirpsythismorning]

Something we should definitely not overlook, because it feels relevant to birthdaygate, is the individual character posters for season 4.

There's actually even an interview with the Duffer Brothers, where they were asked about this theory:

Though, I should clarify, this interviewer got a few details wrong, as it appears Max was actually looking away from the camera, not directly at it. Not only that, but she also wasn’t the only one to do so. She was one out of four total...

Looking directly at the camera: El, Hopper, Murray, Will, Argyle, Steve, Dustin, Robin, (not shown above: Karen, Lucas, Erica, Nancy, Eddie)

Looking away from the camera, to their left: Joyce, Mike, Jonathon, Max

We could deduce that this visual choice was foreshadowing Max getting cursed by Vecna in season 4, and Matt did sort of elude to this in his response to the question, seeing as it was focused only on her. But what could this possibly mean for the other three then?

Initially, it didn’t seem like we got anything substantial enough in s4 that could have possibly paralleled Joyce, Mike and Jonathon to Max's situation, or even being cursed by Vecna like she did for that matter. Well, except—

I do find it interesting that the same episode we see Max slowly discover she has been cursed, in an episode literally titled 'Vecna's Curse', it's March 22nd, Will's birthday, and in real time we are seeing the three people who would definitely never forget Will's birthday, presumably forget.

Because undeniably, the first thing that crosses my mind when it comes to what could possibly connect these three characters with each other, is Will. He's what connects them all. But even more specifically, THIS scene below is what connects them all, a scene which, might I remind you, has a major emphasis on the word 'remember':

Joyce: Do you know what March 22nd is? It’s your birthday. YOUR birthday. When you turned 8, I gave you that huge box of crayons, do you remember that?

Jonathon: Do you remember the day dad left?

Mike: Do you remember the first day that we met?

Vecna:

Not only do I think this means that Vecna most likely took away these three's memory of Will’s birthday, I also think it means he took away this specific memory and all the memories mentioned within it.

If it's all coming full circle and everything leads back to Will, it would make sense that Vecna 'took notes' during this whole incident in 2x08. These memories and these specific people in Will's life played a role in thwarting Vecna's plans last time, so obviously, he's not going to give them the chance to do that again.

This also brings up some interesting questions:

Were those weird POV shots of the Cali gang, that looked oddly stalker-ish, meant to represent Vecna keeping a close eye on them, to make sure his plan was still in motion?

How long will this manipulation (curse) Vecna has on these three last? And to what extent? Will it all just come to a head right away in early season 5, at a moment when they're trying to save Will, but they inevitably fail because all of the relevant things that saved him last time, are now missing from their memories?

And last, but definitely not least, is it possible Mike wouldn’t have gone through with professing his love to El, the way that he did, even going as far as to say his life started the day he found her in the woods (the day Will went missing), if he had remembered already doing the exact same thing with Will…? If he had remembered the best thing he'd ever done was ask Will to be his friend? Because if this theory is correct y’all... MIKE DOESN'T REMEMBER!!!???

Well, that's all (for now)

Please be sure to check out this post if you haven't already, but even more importantly, scroll down to the bottom of that post, because there I have linked all the most incriminating evidence thus far.

And trust me, once you read all of it, it's pretty much undeniable.

I also hope this gives some validation to those of you out there who denied vehemently that Joyce, Mike or Jonathon could EVER possibly forget Will's birthday. Because you were right. Technically, they didn't. Technically it required an inter-dimensional monster for this to be possible at all. So props to ya'll and your faith in these characters! YOU WERE RIGHT!

#stranger things #will byers #stranger things meta #stranger things theory #birthdaygate #stranger things 5 #st5 headcanon #also hate to be the bitch to bring this up... #but you know how we always joked about how jonathon would be the only one to save will bc he knows his favorite song... #well.. in that scene in the shed back in s2... jonathon mentions that memory... #which means he doesn't remember #WHICH MEANS WILL IS FUCKED BASICALLY #yeah it might be good to go back and see everything they mentioned #because it's basically a free for all in terms of vecna swiping those memories right out of their brains #will byers im praying for you #that whole thing about s5 going back to s1 vibes has me scared... #but also there's a lot of foreshadowing that mike is in danger.? #so im not totally convinced he doesn't somehow mess up vecna's plan yet again... #maybe that's how him and will both end up stuck in the upside down together... #yes I will turn this around so it benefits me #what about it?

[muzzleroars]

[ultrakill]

so thankful for the 6-2 taunts amen

#ultrakill #this fight has to be so off the rails right. like fucking chaos. #and so for the first one i kept thinking of gabe just. #picking up v1 and shaking it bc he's SO MAD. SCRUFF THE MACHINE #but i think of the little tank on its back as a blood reservoir #so it HATES it just being touched let alone violently squeezed #(back to thinking about v1 as a prototype and how it's pretty imperfect in design) #which means it panics a little and defaults to kicking him in the head lol #second one is the fight unraveling completely and ending in fists #just these two beating the shit out of each other #ALWAYS keeping 'fight me like an animal' in my heart #altho...with my v1...i mean look at it. it's already there #v1 #gabriel #doodle tag #blood cw #injury cw

[pigeonwit]

davey jacobs but he has meltdowns. big ugly meltdowns where he cant be touched or spoken to and just needs to be left alone to cry and stim and scream and go catatonic for a little bit. davey jacobs but he has involuntary twitches and stims that include punching himself, twitching his neck/his face, knocking his knuckles together, scratching his skin, etc. davey jacobs but he has shutdowns where he just cant get out of bed or shower or do anything because his energy is so thoroughly spent that even moving hurts. davey jacobs being autistic but not the 'palatable' kind of autistic that neurotypicals find cute and quirky. but his loved ones still love him anyways and don't get frustrated with him for it. they try to help him stim the way he needs to without hurting himself. they dont get mad when hes so exhausted that he cant do certain things because they know its not a matter of choice or pushing yourself or him purposefully not wanting to make an effort for them, he simply cannot do it just yet.

davey jacobs being autistic in ways that are inconvenient and frustrating. davey jacobs being deeply ashamed of that all his life. davey jacobs learning over time that there are people who will not treat his autism and its more difficult aspects as an obstacle to overcome in order to love him.

davey jacobs being autistic and still being loved unconditionally for it.

#now switch out 'davey jacobs' for 'me; tumblr user pidge pigeonwit' #i need to go to back to university right now or i will DIE. #anywhore. this isnt me saying 'ugh the newsies fandom treats autism like [x]' tbc #honestly all the autistic headcanons ive seen have been dope and received well. #its almost like we're all autistic and know what the fuck we're talking about #but man!! i sure hate how autistic people have to constantly be behaving ourselves in order to be treated like fucking people!! #both in real actual life and online!! #vent #too poor for therapy tag #newsies #davey jacobs #uksies

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[yeraskier]

There's something almost calming about watching Jaskier when he orgasms. It's always so loud, and intense, and powerful; it leaves no room for anything else.

It's as if his body is absorbing every bit of chaos that surrounds him until he can't take it anymore, and then he simply... releases.

Geralt's had the pleasure of experiencing it many, many times now, and it always has the same impact on him, if not stronger each time. It's addictive, makes him wish that he could spend all of his days, every day, his only purpose in life being to bring Jaskier to orgasm.

And it's possibly making the person in the room next to them homicidal because this would be the seventh time tonight that they’ve banged on the wall, and shouted insults at Geralt and Jaskier for being too loud.

Jaskier’s chuckle turns into a gasp when Geralt slips out of him— the slide slippery, the sound lewd.

Geralt grunts as his body hits the mattress, finding that he's aching in the way he always does after several rounds with the bard. Very few people can tire him out, but it is no surprise that Jaskier manages to be on that short list.

"Outstanding as always, dear witcher."

"Hm."

"And verbal as ever," Jaskier teases as he sits up. "Your ability to be so nonchalant and quiet after sex with me is becoming quite offensive, I must say."

"This is how I normally am."

"You had a lot to say an hour ago when I had my lips wrapped around your cock."

Geralt shrugs, "I was inspired."

Jaskier rolls his eyes, but there’s a playful glint in his eyes as he sits up and begins searching for his pants.

Geralt admires his back (and his backside) as he moves, eyes trailing over the—

Wait…

Wait.

Geralt doesn't panic, okay? Living the life he lives, he doesn't have that privilege, but right now, laying in this bed as he watches Jaskier get ready to leave— fuck, he might be panicking.

Because Jaskier never leaves after sex, not since after the first few times, at least. And yes, he isn't necessarily obligated to stay, but he always does, and so does Geralt, and now he isn't.

Why?

Why is Jaskier not talking him into cuddling right now?

Why is Jaskier not attempting to get him into the now-cold bath in the corner of the room?

Why is Jaskier not going on one of his very detailed post-sex rants that Geralt pretends to despise, even though they both know he gets invested each time?

Why is Jaskier not falling asleep right now? Hogging up all the bed space and stealing the blanket while using Geralt's chest as a pillow?

Geralt remains as still as possible, barely twitching out of place as Jaskier pulls on his doublet. He may not feel normal about this, but he can sure as shit act normal, even if it isn't normal.

"Alright, darling, I'm going to go fetch us some water. Be back before you can miss my presence too much," the bard announces, throwing a wink over his shoulder before practically skipping out the door.

The words settle him, but only for a few moments before he's ready to panic over something completely different because why did he care so much about Jaskier possibly leaving?

Sure, Geralt has become almost as fond of the after-sex things as he is of the sex-sex things, but he doesn't need them. He won't break down into tears without them.

Except...

That's sort of exactly what he was ready to do just now.

Okay, maybe Geralt wouldn’t have cried, but he definitely would’ve bothered… upset, even.

And he knows this because even with the knowledge that Jaskier is coming back, even knowing that Jaskier only left so he could make sure they both stay hydrated, Geralt is, in this very moment, bothered.

Which isn’t good. At all.

Because the last time he got bothered by someone leaving, it was Yennefer. And he was only bothered because.

Well.

But that wouldn’t make sense, would it? Because Jaskier leaves all the time. He leaves Jaskier all the time. They part for months on end, and Geralt lives.

So what if Geralt has begun to notice that it gets a little harder to willingly go every time they part ways?

So what if his mood during the months where Jaskier isn’t around is shittier than usual?

So what if his mood when Jaskier is around is better than usual?

That doesn’t mean anything. Sex puts most men in better moods, that doesn’t mean he’s in love with the bard.

Not that feelings would mean love. Because a little crush doesn’t equate to love.

Not that Geralt has a little crush, or any crush of any sort. Because he doesn’t. Because he can’t.

Because what they have now, friendship and lust and comfort, is the best thing that has happened to him in a while, and he will not ruin that over catching feelings, of all things.

He doesn’t have feelings for Jaskier, so he can’t ruin anything.

“I don’t have feelings for Jaskier,” he says aloud, into the empty room, but the words feel heavy on his tongue.

I can’t have feelings for Jaskier.

“I don’t have feelings for Jaskier,” Geralt says again, but this time, it comes out as a growl.

Please, don’t let me have feelings for Jaskier.

“I do not have feelings for Jask—”

The door opens, and Jaskier walks in with a wide smile, and that spark of electricity that follows the bard wherever he goes bursts in behind him.

Jaskier takes easy steps towards the bed, and it’s like he’s moving in slow motion.

Geralt desperately wants to run. He doesn’t.

He remains still as Jaskier sets down the pitcher of water, and the cup in hand, and fills it up to the brim before turning to Geralt with a disarming gaze.

The rim of the glass in Jaskier’s hand is pressed to Geralt’s lips, and the witcher takes in the sight before him.

Those wide blue eyes, and that disheveled hair, and those pouty lips— he realizes that he could probably draw every single feature of this man’s face perfectly without even looking, and he’s never drawn a day in his life.

I can’t.

“Well?” Jaskier says, “drink up.”

Geralt parts his lips, and Jaskier’s eyes drop, and Geralt’s heart thuds so loud, it seems to echo throughout his entire body, and Jaskier smiles wide, as if he heard it.

I do.

Fuck.

#i hate this so fucking much #like the idea was there and thats the only reason its being posted but the execution is making me gag #writing really is like a muscle or whatever the saying is #clearly ive lost some of my pizazz but i will work to get it back #sorry :( #but i might make a part 2 #idk like i already had more planned out but it got too long and this was supposed to be a ficlet soooooooo haha.... haha #i just ended it right there with geralt realizing bc i love to torture you guys clearly .... #jk the part 2 really will come this time since i already know what i wanted to do (if you guys want it) #this was mostly to just write something just to Write because ive missed writing sm #the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #my writing #geraskier

[alilaro]

its so funny hbomberguy uploads a video like once every millenia, but when he does he manages to send every person he scrutinizes into oblivion, never to recover

#hbomberguy #not to be a hater but.... 🙈 i fucking hate james somerton and internet historian so much YESSS #internet historian is an edgy right-wing dickhead that makes edgy 4chan videos and hosts racists (including himself) #and james somerton is THE WHITE CIS GAY MAN QUEERS ARE WARNED ABOUT #plagiarism aside he prioritizes white gay men as the worlds biggest victims CONSTANTLY; and invalidates nbs women and poc #the video he did on jeffery dahmer made me want to scream in anger bc he goes on and on about gay men and how women dont care about them #but doesnt fucking mention a god damn thiny about how he targeted black gay men over white bc he knew he could get away with it #like he talks about queers but he only gives a shit about white gay men. thats it. #anyway sorry im tired and bitter but byeeee to these youtube bitches pls dont come back lmaao

[munchboxart]

I hate HP, they released a subscription plan where you can "rent a printer" for like what, $7 a month but you can only print 20 pages per month, and you can get fined for over more than the printer cost from what I heard.

HP is the type of company where they would remove double sided printing and lock it behind a paid DLC I hate this company. Hell I heard you can't even use some of the stuff with other printers (like scanning) if it either: ran out of ink OR no internet connection (I could be wrong on this one, or it could be both, I wouldn't be surprised)

#back when i put my printer into my room after years of not using it #i was setting it up right. i didnt have much experience w set up but when they asked me to make an account #so i can fucking print #and i have to jump 500 hoops to delete the account again #i am so fucking mad i hate them so much #if i had to make a list of entities or people that i hate. itd be elon number 1 and HP number 2 #etc

[ganondoodle]

serious question, are there ANY (wired) headsets made today anymore that have seperated plugs for audio and microphone??

usb ones always cause trouble and the only other ones i can find are those with combined audio+mic into one plug, which i dont have the ports on my PC for.............

i tried looking through adapters but the only ones i can find are those that combine seperate ones, id need the reverse (if thats even possible)

(visualization bc i feel like i am losing my sanity trying to explain what i mean, am i stupid? did i halluzinate the two jack/plug thing???? do only cheap garbage ones have this??? is that one of the gaming chair things??? like oh you want a GAMING headset- that means either combined or usb haHA???)

#ganondoodles talks #personal #issue being that the new headset i bought is usb only and- of course- has a background noise that probably only ppl like me hear #im super sensitive to sound #like i hear bats and dog whistles you arent meant to hear #old headset (not the broken one) has a slight static and trouble with very silent sound which it cuts out #hence i got the newer ones (the now broken one) which didnt have that problem but well .. it broke after little use #new one has a weird beeping chirping in the bg #im so tired #(new one is the razer kraken v3- its usb only and any other plugs they have for other models are the damned combined one) #my computer isnt even that old but i literally cant find a single headset with those plugs seperated when i dont have that port #will i ever find a headset that fucking works with no drawbacks???? #(wireless isnt an option bc i hate wireless anything that isnt a controller you can also use wired) #i know it may sound like its not working right but i am 100% certain its one only people like me can even hear #also i got no nerves to try and send anything back to amazon ... for once i bought it there.... #or am i just stupid or did i miss some shit that made it standard to just call it differently or sth #like my pc has an audio port at the front and a mic port- two ports #the plugs (jacks???????) i see are the ones that have it in ONE #and i dont have it

[rqg179]

i will say though that brennan revealing last episode that kipperlilly has been going to guidance counsellor for anger issues since freshman year has absolutely ruined me for seeing her as actually evil. i cannot believe that a teenage girl with anger issues is irredeemably evil i just can't

#i believe that she's an antagonist and that she kind of sucks as a person but i just don't think she's evil #yes i know she killed another teenager this episode but like. still #if aelwyn 'kidnapped 7 teenage girls killed the former elven oracle and helped bring a dragon back to take over elmville' abernant can have #an incredibly touching & emotionally resonant redemption arc then so can kipperlilly 'killed at least one possibly two clerics' copperkettl #currently i'm choosing to believe that the ratgrinders have been manipulated into this by someone else #(jace stardiamond and porter cliffbreaker i'm fucking watching you) #i mean cmon you can't tell me 'this teenage girl has anger issues that she has been getting help for for 3 years' #and not expect me to think she was a prime target for manipulation by agents of a dead god of rage and justice #kipperlilly copperkettle get behind me i'll protect you #i still think she sucks and the bad kids have every right to hate her! especially after this episode jesus fucking christ! #it's just that i will simultaneously lay down my life in her defense now. brennan cmon don't let me down #my post #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy