#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something #positive instead #this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling #their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it #i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them #i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be #safe from our oppressors #and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN' #guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too #trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men #if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit #from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors #so #terfs fuck off #radfems fuck off #and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer #feminism #misogyny #sexism #patriarchy #tw men #tw rape #tw abuse #misandry #terfs dni #radfems dni #feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit #men are entitled to nothing from us #and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling #ok? ok.

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[menalez]

You being a woc doesn't exempt you from being a really awful and heartless person, I hope you understand that. So quit using it as your sheild. I'm not even gonna stoop as low as to actually insult you. You probably get a lot of that already and there's no point in immaturely attacking aspects of you that have nothing to do with your hateful rhetoric. You should probably try to seek therapy since you're so deathly afraid of entire genders and kinds of people, life must be hard being surrounded by us nasty trannies and big scary males, I'm sure a professional could help with that. And maybe connect with some LGBT groups and actually speak with trans people and trans women in particular. Trans people were cis once too and had to learn to accept eachother and themselves. It is a journey of human compassion, something you clearly lack a lot of. Get better soon, genuinely. Because hating your queer neighbors brings nothing but pain for all of us. 😔

erm since when was i deathly afraid of "entire genders" (not afraid of social constructs luv, but i am afraid of my oppressors) and "kinds of people"? also telling women that theyre irrational for being careful around our oppressors esp when we're rape victim is not a good look. telling a woc that talking about how someone enabled racist harassment such as being called a brown whore is "using it as a shield" is not a good look either. fun fact but pissvortex was called out by several woc especially black women for being racist. doesnt seem like u care about that more than u care about making ur weird presumptive comments about me!

as for connecting with lgbt groups, im very connected with lesbian groups and other groups for gay people :) my friends are primarily lesbians, gay men, and some bi people.

ive spoken to trans women and dealt firsthand with them telling me very vile things, sexualising me knowing im uncomfortable with it, and trying to pressure me into having sex with someone with a penis (+ trying to pressure me into conversion therapy. very nice!). so dont worry, ive spoken a lot to trans people. i was very big on trans activism for years until facing lesbophobia from other trans activists which put me off of the movement.

also dont call me homophobic slurs thanks <3

[otakusheep15]

I know this isn’t gonna reach that many people, but I honestly don’t care rn. This is mostly me just getting my anger out anyways, and I’ll probably delete it later. 

Can we please stop with this “hate all men” mentality please? It is genuinely very harmful, and a pretty poor stereotype that is just not needed. Especially as a trans man, hearing this phrase from people hurts me so much, and makes me feel like my identity as a trans man isn’t valid. 

For the longest time, I tried to repress who I was out of fear of turning into a gross, creepy man that everyone either fears or hates simply just because I am a man. And even after I learned to accept myself and came out to everyone I know, this fear is still very prominent, and it scares me. 

What’s worse, is that sometimes, though usually not intentionally, these same people with the “all men” mentality can end up being super transphobic towards trans men. I’ve had so many people, usually women or fem-aligned people talk to me about how much they hate all men, but then they’ll turn to me and say that I’m excluded from that list. 9 times out of 10, that is because I’m a trans man and not a cis man, which is super invalidating, and sometimes hurts me even worse than when they just include me in the list. 

I get that plenty of people have bad experiences with men. I also have some rather unpleasant experiences myself, but making a generalized statement about how all men are inherently evil and vile creatures just does more harm than good, most commonly within the queer community. The amounts of times I’ve seen bi/pan women talking about how much they hate their attraction to men simply because of this mindset is upsetting and sad. No one should have to hate a part of themself for a reason such as this. 

I’m not saying any of this to invalidate any bad experiences anyone might of had with men. I get it, and I understand. However, as I said before, using this generalization as a way to categorize all men as horrible people is doing no one any favors, and can lead to more people, especially those in the queer community, to continue repressing a part of themself simply out of fear for being hated or scorned. 

Again, sorry for the long rant, I just needed to get that off of my chest. Thanks to anyone who has read this far, and I hope that y’all can see my point of view, even if you might disagree. Please don’t leave any hate, but feel free to comment/reblog with any different opinions, as I would love to see someone else’s side and educate myself if I left something out. 

#I hate posting stuff like this #I just want my blog to be a place for positivity #but this is just something I needed to get out

[babyjoysdiary]

I feel like I’m not allowed to get angry.

Like being so mentally ill and fat and Black and with a pussy…

Idk I know my friends that cut me off feel like they have given me several “chances”.

Bro I’m autistic and try to warn people of my outbursts.

And putting up with my tantrums when it comes to life and other people just isn’t enough for me.

People only like me when I’m useful.

The women in my life will never respect me and care for me and give me chances like they will these cis niggas

Guess you gotta give good dick in order to be seen past your mistakes or like your whole personality is more than just something to put up with

Micah my big sis of ten years just cut me off completely because I yelled at her for being passive. Like a white woman. But she was being passive aggressive…like a white woman.

And now she keep blocking me on shit. But then unblocking… like I guess I was supposed to text sorry a week ago.

What the fuck.

Especially after her witnessing the shit with Sammie and Mixie?

I put up hearing about this ain’t shit nigga Brandon for YEARS!

He called the cops on her and deserves more chances than me?!?

What the fuck

I know my insults were aggressive …but I wasn’t lying. And she sent me a bill straight in the morning. While I was in San Francisco…and then kept hanging up on me…after making a sarcastic comment about me paying the bill…

What the fuck

Lennon

Al

Amber

Hannah

Nicole

Mixie

Sammie

Micah

Now I see how I’m the problem.

I get it, I say vile/nasty things/informed by the vulnerability shown to me…

But I’m not unique, nor have they not done the same thing to me… I’m just better at it

It just doesn’t feel fair… why am I treated so harshly for my outbursts?

And it’s not like I can just make friends with other Black folk or dark skins cause my weirdness hits their body as a threat. I’m a weird nigga and I know subconsciously they want to change me or distance themselves because they don’t want to be seen as weird or a threat either

Sometimes I feel like the only reason I haven’t died yet or get several tries in the form of new people us because I’m light skin and got a cute face.

Which…with being fat and having no ass and tens of hundreds of scars and stretch marks…I feel like God was just try a even out the scales.

Ugh, and you know my paranoia about my face …ugh the tools I most use to stay alive…

Anyway I saw this play last night about this gay man during slavery times

The main actor is mixed and talented but has a monopoly on the theater scene here, dates a lot of white and mixed woman and has been with my white non binary friend for five years. Taken they money, cheated on them, is cheating on them and has gone through several addictions… AND PLATS FAY ALL THE TIME BUT US STRAIGHT STRAIGHT STRAIGHT

It references so many things… How out trees all hold our ancestors… How we can hear them and communicate with them… How racial trauma has always been present… How the light skin versus dark skin, interpersonal dynamics was bread from enslavement… How cis black men get objectified by everyone… How that objectification always centers the story, but is glossed over at the same time… How black women have always been the backbone to every community… How they are even used by their community… How assault is always a literary device… how black women never get the care, they deserve… It just touched on everything in so many ways… Like one black women slave kind of, low key assaulted a black male slave… But it’s so much more complex than that… Because that same girl was a product of rape from her master… But admit it, she hoped he did rape her… Or at least she would be touched… Even though that was her father… It was just a lot and plus the main black gay dude ended up dying…

What does this have to do with people cutting me off? Everything and nothing… It’s just crazy to feel and see all the ways in which way is black Americans are powerful and magical and beautiful… And then have the reality of enslavement continues to do… And how it feels like it won’t matter how smart or pretty I get… I’m blocking with the pussies, so everyone will always use me… And when I’m no longer useful… And then have the audacity to be a human… Or contain humanity, and have flaws… I will be cut off…

I think it’s also wild, because recently… Or forever if I’m honest… I’ve been really craving a strong hug from a black man… And I got it at the closing of the affirmation space from the drunken monkey… Who’s dating Ayo … But that’s a secret. 

And they both always just mirror my energy/match my energy and pour so much divine love into me… But I’m scared I can’t get close to them because of my wickedness… Anyway, he hugged me so hard I could feel it in my ribs and whispered prayers and affirmations in my ear… And I needed that and I’m grateful for that and I’m glad I can manifest that within a man who is attractive, but who I’m not lost in the sauce with… Like I don’t Wanna be with him…

It just reminded me that how much is I ask you come true and I am a great Manifester… It’s just not gonna happen in the same way I think… But I’m worried my gender, and my fatness are going to get in the way of me being shown that love consistently… Or in a romantic way … I just like in every relationship I’m always DamagedGoods… I’m always the rebound… People always pour the deepest, darkest thoughts into me… And we connect… And sometimes they hear my flaws and fears… But when those materialize… I’m a monster who is left alone  I’ve been with monsters… And I have shown them, grace and compassion and forgiveness until they just about kill me… Let me be honest, even with my life is at risk I still love… It’s only when they start hurting others that I loved you I really care… Or if I took out and become a monster, and then they leave me…

It’s just so hard… To see everyone else get so many chances to grow… Or how I always feel like a burden… Or like whoever is my friend or lover is doing charity work… Cause I’m special I’m not cute enough to be special

 At least I have seen how pretty privilege protects certain disabled people… Also, just white people never have to work as hard… Even if they from the smart like you… It’s always going to be easier for a white person to find love… Or the white supremacist notion of what love is 

Still, so worried, I’m going to end up like my aunt years and die alone… And have a life without partnership due to mental illness… And I’m trying to work on myself… I’m trying… There’s just some personality characteristics that will always make me not ideal in something to simply be put up with at least that’s how it feels 

#diary

[transmasc-wizard]

Shit, I forgot to ask the question.

What are some dos and don’ts of writing transmasc characters?

Hi! This question is definitely less vague than the last one, since "how do i write a bisexual character" is much wider than "specifically, what are the dos and donts of writing transmascs" so that's helpful!

So, usual preface: i am not the spokesperson or ambassador for all transmascs. This is a very general post coming from one transmasc, specifically a nonbinary trans guy, and i 100% endorse and encourage looking at sources that Aren't Me (but stay the fuck away from t/r/u/m/e/d/s).

But, on with it: general dos and donts!

DO: remember "transmasc" and "binary trans guy" are NOT synonymous.

all trans guys are transmasc, but not all transmascs are trans guys. "Transmasc" encompasses any AFAB or AXAB person who's gender is in the general realm of masculine. "demiboy" "genderqueer" "bigender" "trans man" "nonbinary trans man" and "boyflux", for example, are all genders that can qualify as transmasc (though are not inherently transmasc; many can and do include AMAB people). However, "binary trans guy" specifically means someone who was AFAB/AXAB who's gender is 100% male 100% of the time.

There are transmasc lesbians, transmasc people who are both women and men, transmasc binary people, transmasc nonbinary people, transmasc genderfluids, and more.

[afab means "assigned female at birth" btw, and axab means "assigned X at birth". AXAB is for certain intersex people and i am not qualified to delve into it.]

DON'T: portray all transmascs as "uwu cutie soft boys".

putting aside the fact that not all transmascs are boys, this attitude is incredibly infantilizing and uncomfortable. You can certainly have femme transmascs and soft transmascs, but please acknowledge that not all of us are like that. The big push to see transmascs as "soft space beans" or whatever is vile; it pushes us away from masculinity and back into neat feminine boxes. It's only as popular as it is because cis people (especially cis women) are uncomfortable with us being Masculine Manly Guys (or even just androgynous). We are allowed to be masculine, and our masculinity is good and important. Acknowledge this.

DO: show that gender expression =/= identity and every transmasc is different! (this can also go for trans people in general.)

the spectrum of transmasculine gender identities is wide and wonderful. I encourage you to portray this. obviously you can't get all of us in your writing, much less one WIP, but I'd absolutely love for people to show different ways of dress & gender expression for transmascs! The glittery fun way of dress, the boring barbecue camo pants dad, the dramatic emo aesthetic, Just Some Guy... everything. at this point i'm starved for anything. Additionally, transmascs who use pronouns other than or alongside he/him are great, too; as a he/they trans guy, i'd love to see it. (this includes neopronouns btw!) Also, transmascs with a variety of genders and gender types (demiboy, genderqueer, trans guy, etc).

DON'T: try to write about "what it's like to be transmasc" if you aren't.

this goes for literally any marginalization. You can write characters of our identity, and should, but do not write the story of "what it's like to be transmasc". That's not your experience, and you do not know how to do that.

Some general things i'd like to stop seeing:

"this binary trans guy is basically a lesbian" (while there are trans guys who use lesbian/sapphic, that is for personal reasons and most certainly not something a non-trans guy is equipped to write)

Trans people's only orientations being gay or straight??? transgay and transhet rep is important but please acknowledge the rest of us

UNSAFE BINDING. fuck this. you don't have a reason to go out of your way and talk about how the transmasc binds unsafely

"this person uses he/they!" *proceeds to call them by only one of those pronouns for the rest of the entire book*

"this transmasc is masculine and that makes them Worse" stop forever please

some things i'd like to see more of:

transmascs who are marginalized in multiple ways! (disabled transmascs, transmascs of colour, aspec transmascs, ND transmascs, etc)

transmascs who love themselves!! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU

transmasc narrators! gimme some transmasc MCs

transmasc love interest that aren't treated like a fetish! yeah, i'm aroace, but i still like seeing transmasc LIs in fiction.

T4T (trans-for-trans) couples involving transmascs!! this includes T4T enbies and T4T m/f relationships

transmascs with plotlines that aren't "i hate myself" (connected to point 2)

transmascs with trans friends!

transmascs in fantasy and sci-fi stories!

transmascs who are accepted by their friends and families!

stories with more than one transmasc in them!

~

I hope this was helpful! Once again, I am one transmasc. I suggest looking around at @yourbookcouldbegayer, finding some other transmasc perspectives, and reading books by transmascs! (fiction and not.)

If any other transmascs want to add on, feel free & please do.

#asks #writblr asks #writing advice #writing characters who are X #transgender #trans #nonbinary #transmasc #transmasculine #enby #trans ftm #ftm #<- please dont describe all ur trans guys as 'female to male' btw. dont call someone FTM (or MTF!) unless theyve said its ok #dauntlessshadowice1 #nico yells writing advice into the void

[cuntess-carmilla]

The level of performance you demand from bi people as a whole, but especially of bi women, is motherfucking insane. I really don't get why you all demand bi women virtue signal their sexuality by "rejecting" men in order to not deem them gross lesbophobes by virtue of existing. "Even" if they prefer men that's not necessarily out of some internalized homo/biphobia. They just like men. That’s kind of part of (most bi people’s) bisexuality. Shocker, I know.

A lot of the behaviors you all accuse bi women of (not taking other women seriously as partners, for example) are behaviors a lot of lesbians in denial exhibit too but in us you see victims of our own pain and misogyny who need help and understanding, while in bi women you see vile irredeemable perpetrators who must be ostracized and punished.

You blame them of their own abuse at the hands of cis straight men in ways that if you remove the "bi" from "bi women" you would recognize as disgusting victim-blaming, WHILE rejecting them & pushing them out of LGBT spaces, which, guess what you fucking geniuses; leaves them to have cis straight men as their only viable option. Funny how that works. You're all "women should stay away from dating bi women" or "bi women fetishize lesbianism by wanting to be with women" but shame bi women for being with men IN THE SAME BREATH. What the fuck do you want them to do? Be celibate for your own biphobic comfort?

I legit saw idiots on Twitter say "normalize lesbians only dating other lesbians" as if that's not what's normalized already. Bi women are already seen as gross sluts that kiss women at parties to turn men on and only seriously date men. What the fuck isn’t normalized about lesbians dating lesbians only?

You think that I, a literal fucking dyke, didn't see women at some point as hot for sex and men as the only viable partners for serious relationships? Would you see me as a disgusting dangerous misogynist for having been there, or as struggling with internalized homophobia? If it’s the later, why don't you extend that same compassion to bi women? Only difference there is that I'm a lesbian and they're bisexual.

Sure, they like men so being with men isn't INHERENTLY torture for them like it is for me, but you don't think that thinking/behaving that way is traumatizing for them too? They love women and are depriving themselves of that experience out of internalized biphobia, misogyny and homophobia. You think that doesn’t fuck them up too? They're hurting too, but you think that, unlike a lesbian who does the same, THEY deserve that suffering.

And no one is telling you to date them or to suffer for them through it just because they're suffering too. What you're being told is to see them as the non-straight women they are who're suffering too and understand the complexity of their situation the same way you would someone like me.

You think too that the “solution” to the horrendous rates of IPV they face with cis straight men is swearing off men. Would you tell straight women to do the same if they don’t want to be abused by male partners? You wouldn't. Because you see straight women as not having "an option" but think bi women do and thus they MUST be asking to be abused. Literal “asking for it” shit. It's all victim blaming + Boys Will Be Boys, but add a "bi" to it and it's progressive somehow.

This points to you seeing women's attraction to men as only ok when it's not "chosen", just a passive reception of misogynistic violence (which, way to take away the agency of women’s sexualities, you dumb bitches), but when they IN THEORY have a "choice" because they also like women, their attraction to men is active instead of passive, and thus they're cock-sucking sluts who’re choosing to endanger themselves. You see women whose desire for men is active, as deserving of whatever results from their involvement with men. You can't be a biphobe without being a misogynist.

You see bisexuality as a fractured amalgam of homosexuality + heterosexuality instead of its own standalone identity, and thus they can and MUST choose one or the other, because their “heterosexual” attraction and their gay attraction are in active competition within them like the fucking two wolves shit. You can’t be a biphobe without being a homophobe.

Bi women's attraction to men is NOT normalized and biphobes are living proof of it. It's not normalized; they're bisexual, not straight. Their attraction to men coexists with, interlinks with and isn't independent of their attraction to women. Bi women ARE shamed and punished for liking men because they don't like men alone, they simultaneously like women and those are inseparable for them.

If it was normalized, it wouldn't be widespread to blame them for the abuse they receive when involved with men, like they should pick a side for their abuse to count or matter. They wouldn't be pushed out of LGBT spaces for being with men, it wouldn't be seen by other LGBT people (even many bi women themselves) as a flaw in their sexuality that makes them a gay-straight chimera. They wouldn't feel ashamed of their attraction to men. They wouldn't be seen with suspicion for liking men if it was normalized.

Them simultaneously liking men is seen as not loving men "correctly" AND as not loving women “correctly”. No LGBT women (including cis bi women and straight trans women) are seen as doing love and sex "correctly".

You can only claim bi women's attraction to men is normalized if you see bisexuality as a Lego combo of straight + gay and thus their attraction to men is separable from their attraction to women. It's not. They're not cherry-picked bits and pieces of heterosexuality and homosexuality. They're 100% bisexual, always, no matter in what way their bisexuality expresses itself. Be it bisexual with no preference, bisexual with a preference for women, or bisexual with a preference for men.

It's not 50-50% straight-gay, 25-75% straight-gay, or 80-20% straight-gay respectively. ALL are 100% bisexual-bisexual. If you can't respect that, you're a homophobe and a misogynist.

And yes, it is HOMOphobic to see bi women with suspicion for liking men. You see "homosexual" attraction as inherently in jeopardy if there's a coexisting "heterosexual" attraction because the gay one will be lesser and you see the "straight" one as a threat that'll take precedent. That’s your gay insecurity from internalized homophobia speaking.

Then too, there's a reason biphobes think bi men are secretly gay, and bi women are secretly straight. You see men as the superior and inevitable choice for both. That's misogyny. If you're a biphobe, you ARE undoubtedly a misogynist and a homophobe, even if you're gay and/or a woman yourself.

Every time people make armchair judgements of bisexual women as man-worshipers all I can think of is my sister who cried rivers of tears to me about how painful and stressing it is to over-perform her attraction to men who're not even her type (she likes gnc men!) just to stay closeted, and when I think of that, I wish so badly I could slap each and every person doing that.

And yeah! You read right, GNC MEN. Bisexuality is "gay enough", "even" in their different-gender attraction, that plenty of bi women prefer gnc men, and plenty of bi men prefer gnc women. In fact, plenty of bi people, including the cis ones, are gnc themselves (with a specific tendency towards androgyny but there's many who're distinctly masculine/feminine at it) and thus much more visible as gay than someone like me; a fucking lesbian, but I'm fem-presenting.

"Bi people can stay closeted while in relationships." So can gay men and lesbians who have beards, who hide our partners, whose partners are trans and closeted, if we're trans and closeted ourselves, or if we’re single and not visibly gnc.

My relationship would be seen as straight by outsiders because my fiancé is a closeted trans lesbian. Unless you’re a transphobe you would NOT call that a fucking privilege. It’s not a fucking privilege that she’s forced to hide herself and hide that the nature of her exclusive love for women is gay. That shit fucking kills her inside. It’s not a privilege that to keep the love of my life safe and myself too I have to pretend that our love is straight when it was so fucking hard for me to just detect, let alone ACCEPT and take pride in that I don’t like men.

All of that keeps us safe, but at great emotional cost. Being closeted is safety for all LGBT people, but it’s not a privilege, it’s PAINFUL. You understand this when it comes to gay men and lesbians, and can feel compassion for us. Why not for bi people? Why are you so angry at bi people? Why do you hold so much contempt for bi people?

I'll tell you why: BECAUSE YOU'RE BIGOTS.

#biphobia tw #⚢

[fratboykate]

i just opened twitter and searched adele, jfc *face palm* moronic people are really trying hard to win the 'stupid person award'. now you can't say you're a woman apprently it's transphobic?????! are you ok in the head people???! where the hell did you hit it? a rock made of uranium? 'cause sure your brain is melted dudes

The fact that she's going to have to make a whole entire fucking apology about it????? And that OF COURSE the most vile people from the right have already latched onto it as an example of "gay rights gone wrong!" You're making us look stupid. Not everything is fucking offensive. Shut the fuck up.

But also, since we're on the topic I'm actually pretty opposed to the whole concept of "Non Gendered Awards". Hear me out.

You understand how these "Lets merge and make the categories non-gendered" ultimately just end up hurting women and particularly women of color the most, right? This is how women of color never statistically have a shot in hell at ever winning an award ever again. You've sat for more than two seconds and thought about this past the flashy empty brain rot ideas the internet sells you, yes??? This hurts WOC immensely. Disproportionately.

The solution here isn't to abolish the gendered categories, it's to create a third one that people can qualify for if they so choose to. Do you know what happens when you merge say..."Female Artist Of The Year" and "Male Artist Of The Year" into one? Or "Best Lead Actor In A Drama" and "Best Lead Actress In A Drama" into "Best Lead In A Drama?"? What happens is that women of color (and men of color...but particularly women of color) who aren't nominated and don't win in their own gendered categories to begin with have their chances of getting the award go down to zero. Think about it. THINK ABOUT IT HARD. You think they're going to if you clump them in with the white men/women??? Also...how does that even make sense??? It doesn't. How does slimming down the amount of awards given out instead of expanding them help anyone? It doesn't???

Going further...cis people still exist. People who identify as male and female will always exist so why not keep those categories and simply create a third category that can fit those who don't feel they fall into either of those things and that won't end up severely harming women and men of color??? And like Adele said tonight, there's an endless amount of women who are proud to identify as women. Why take away that option from them and clump them in with the men? That has never sat right with me.

Let me tell you a story because I've seen it happen live with a directing program that one of the studios ran. One of them ran a program that was exclusively for women and it had ten slots with a guaranteed episode at the end. So these ten women got into this super competitive program and at the end of it they each got to direct their first episode of TV. Getting into TV directing is one of the hardest things to do and especially for women. Aside from the female program the studio ran the regular director's program for first time episodic directors that anyone could apply to. It was still only for diverse folk (queer and POC) just not exclusively women. I believe it was two years ago when they were like: "Well, having a Gendered program feels unfair. We're going to combine them!" And they went from having 20 directors in 2 programs - 10 of them being guaranteed women - to just 10 in one program. Ask me how many were women the next year. And ask me how many were WOMEN OF COLOR. ASK ME. ASK ME. GO AHEAD. If I remember correctly it was something like they went from thirteen total women (about half of which were WOC) across both programs to like three of the ten new directors in the combined program being women and like one was a woman of color. Then like four out of the ten "diverse" directors were white guys but they were GAY WHITE GUYS so it's fine. They're SOOOO diverse. There were more white dudes in those faces than anything else.

And that's EXACTLY what happens when you get rid of "gendered" categories. Every single fucking time. Without fail. I have seen it repeatedly. So stop supporting it. Because it never works the way you think it does. It just fucks women of color over. HARD. It's the fastest way to make sure they never get recognized or get into anything ever again.

Support creating a third non-gendered category at all awards shows all day long. But don't ever take the female category away from women because women of color don't deserve to lose that. It's what little chance they have at recognition and they don't even get a shot at it now. It would be impossible in a combined category. Don't do that to us.

#like.....I wish y'all would actually sit and rationally think about shit #before you would jump on bandwagon #because this nongendered awards shows bandwagon is idiotic #it's so fucking stupid #anonymous #answers #adele #rants #Hollywood

[hitaka5ever]

Stuff I do and think that will make you not like me, probably

Disclaimer: If you report this post, you're a fucking pussy

I swear a lot

I do say reclaimed slurs, like cunt (bc I have one) and queer bc I am queer (I know this isn't actually a slur, but I know some people who don't like the word despite knowing it isn't a slur) so if that really bothers you, you're welcome to unfollow me. I won't be offended

I am very opinionated, especially when I'm venting (I am most open when I'm upset or angry)

Genderbending is NOT transphobic. Sincerely, a trans person

How to fuck with bigoted cis people: Congratulate them for identifying as an "attack helicopter" or any other non-gender identifier they say to "own the trans people"

Neopronouns are valid and are usually meant for neurodivergent people

I don't take kindly to bigots of any kind

I don't tolerate people who won't tolerate minorities simply for not being part of the "norm"

I have no mercy for people who have no mercy for others

I have almost no faith in humanity (that doesn't mean I hate all humans. Its mainly the conservative side of humanity that I despise and wish would die off)

If you support JK Rowling, go fuck yourself, you transphobic scumbag

I believe violence against people like Nazis is actually a good thing. Soldiers committed violence against them in WW2, so why should it be any different today?

Sometimes violence IS the answer

Minorities deserve all the respect

If All Lives Matter, then why tf don't you act like everyone does?

I think it should be perfectly fine to punch an anti-masker since, legally, it would be self-defense (during this pandemic, these selfish pricks are willing to get you sick and killed, so making them get away from you through violence is self-defense)

I don't care about cisgender feelings bc they will never have to experience vile shit in their lifetime the same why I, a trans person, would (Trans POC have it even worse)

I do think white people are the most evil and corrupt of the human race. Obviously there are/were POC leaders that are/were horrendous people, but those numbers are so much smaller compared to the amount of white people, from past and present, that have committed the worst evil

The Royal family can go fuck themselves. I'm happy that Harry and Meghan severed such bigoted and corrupt ties when they did

Shut tf up, Piers Morgan, nobody fucking likes you, you dumb cunt

Anyone not Black can NEVER say the N word, idgaf if you're not using it derogatorily, its a slur that you cannot claim. This goes for any slur that you have no claims to

Only Black people are allowed to speak AAVE. Its their language, not yours

Black hairstyles are for Black people only

Women can be rapists too, stop claiming they can never do wrong bc that's bullshit

Some of you have never had abusive families or been bullied, and it shows

Minorities are allowed to be angry and educate you unkindly when you're being a dick (see "I don't care about cisgender feelings")

Dear cis white men, you have the most privilege, therefore your feelings don't matter either. You will never suffer the same hardships as everyone else. Even if you're LGBTQ+, you still have more privilege than everyone else and you need to work towards putting an end to your superiority as a white man. All white men have privilege, fucking deal with it

Dear non-Jewish white people in general (myself included) white people have always and will continue to have more privilege than anyone else on this planet so long as you continue to ignore your history of murder and violence and fail to end white violence and white supremacy in the present and future. This goes especially for white Americans. You're the worst group of people who are stupidly arrogant, so your hurt feelings don't matter. Go fuck yourselves

#long post #vent #rant

[thehollowprince]

As if we needed *more* proof how cishet white fangirls only care about mlm ships which are basically self inserts for themselves, I remember so many times when they wouldn't support gay ships where one or more was unconventionally attractive or Black/brown cuz "they're not hot". That really sums it up lol

I do my beat to adhere to the advice my grandmother gave me years ago, which is simple: "Assume nothing." I do my best to stick to that philosophy, because Tumblr is one of the few places left on the internet where you are able to retain you anonymity. We don't know the ethnicty or sexualtiy of the people on here unless they divulge it, and given media's predominant fixation of cis white gays, it would be understandable to have people who are same-sex attracted fixate on what little representation is afforded to us as a whole.

That being said, I've been in Fandom for quite a while, and as we've all seen, these fans have gone out of their way to try and silence any differing opinions, mostly those of fans of color or members of the LGBT community. I myself have more than once been told to "mind my own business", which is infuriating to me, because as a gay man, how they're promoting my sexuality to the world is my business especially when its harmful to the Community at large.

It becomes apparent very quickly who actually cares about seeing the struggles and triumphs of the LGBT characters represented on screen, and who just wants to see two guys kiss.

We talk a lot about Sterek and the impact that subfandom had on Teen Wolf as a whole, and I think that's a great example of what we're talking about. This is a show where there were actual, canonical gay characters in loving relationships, and yet they're constantly ignored or downplayed to focus on the crack ship between two straight white men that the fandom made up. It didn't matter that these two characters couldn't stand each other, or that they didn't have a positive interaction with one another until season four (just before Hoechlin left the show) or that there were characters like Danny or Mason, because all fandom wanted to do was see these two white guys kiss. They didn't care that Danny and Ethan had a pretty steamy make-out session, or that Mason and Corey had a relationship that lasted longer than any other on the show. They simply didn't care about the harmful stereotypes they were embracing and endorsing by fixating on a ship that involved a teenager with an adult, and who only really expressed animosity toward each other, usually through violence.

And then, when they didn't get what they wanted, or what they had set up in their heads (based on nothing in canon), they cried "queerbaiting!" I actually got death threats back during season three of Teen Wolf because I was more invested in Danny's relationship with Ethan than I was with whatever the fandom had made up for Sterek.

Another great example is Skam and its various remakes. Even of you've never watched a single one of them, you've heard of it, specifically the season revolving around the Isak character coming to terms with his sexuality. I started watching live during the third remake of that particular season and it was very eye opening. Despite the many many posts and blogs dedicated to that season alone, I was astounded by how many people didn't care about the struggles of being in the closet or what Lucas (or Matteo or Robbe) were going through. Ironically enough, they all pretty much said the exact same speech as the girl who tells them that "its (insert year) and nobody cares. Come out already!"

This attitude was most prevalent in the third season of the Belgian version of the show, WTFOCK. When they didn't "follow the formula" and introduce Sander right away, people started flipping their shit. There were several scenes where Robbe (the protagonist) was trying to "be normal" and make his relationship with Noor work, and there were countless jokes in the tags about how Robbe was secretly straight. They didn't want to see someone struggling with being in the closet, with being who society says they should be, they wanted to skip right to the end and watch the two boys make out. When Robbe snapped at Sander due to his own internalized homophobia, they demanded his head and immediately started shipping him with another character from another remake. That was when I realized that fully that they didn't care about anything more than watching two boys kiss.

And then there's how they treated the characters of color, such as Yann and Imane and Moyo during those seasons, but that's a different convention for another time.

Further proof of this was in both Skam España and Druck (the German version), the former having a wlw romance and the latter having a mlm, but one of the boys was trans, and therefore "not man enough" for their tastes. Skam España was practically slept on and its almost never included in any of the comparison posts or lists. I mean, yes the cast of that show turned out to be a little vile, but still.

I understand that I, as a white gay man, get the lion's share of the representation in media, but watching fandom obsess only over the white boys, even when there's good representation in both women and characters of color is astounding, bordering on obnoxious. I'm usually very much a "ship and let ship" kind of person, until the fandom goes out of their way to ignore the brown boys or the black boys or the women, no matter what shade, to focus solely on two white boys, whether they're gay or not. That's the point where I feel the need to speak up, because to be silent is to be complicit in their purposeful ignorance.

#russianspacegeckosexparty #fandom homophobia #fandom misogyny

[lavendulaconminatio]

The current state of trans activism is a disaster that targets women, not just to spout vile things, but to shame us and in more severe instances, physically attack female women.

Now I don’t like calling women cis because of the implied privilege we don’t have. However, it really disappoints me that so many radfems approach the problem by viciously misgendering trans people. Let me be clear, I don’t think misgendering is as bad as some of the shit I’ve seen thrown at women. Posting dick picks on tweets to a famous children author from children is far more disturbing than misgendering is. Here’s the thing, can’t we be better than that? It’s not about agreeing with all trans activism, it’s about showing you still respect all trans people, especially those who don’t do some of this harmful shit.

I mean think about it, how are you going to convince some people of the harms certain TRA discourse has done against women if you also won’t even respect the existence of trans people? Respecting this reality doesn’t mean I don’t agree that early childhood transitioning is dangerous and the risks are not fully understood. Sexual predators should not be in a female jail. Being a trans women is not the same as being female and being female is an oppression in its own right whether you agree with your gender or not.

But you know what? I truly believe the majority of trans people want to live their lives in peace and transition in peace. My youngest sibling is transitioning from my sister to my brother. I embrace him. I am nervous about him going on T and all that, but he is an adult and I know this has been something he’s dealt with for years. I’m still working on correcting his name and pronouns, but I will do it for him because I love and support my sibling.

I know my brother does not adhere to the extremes of many TRA activists. And it makes sense, so rarely do the sensible speak up and drown out the nonsense. Nonsense reigns supreme on the internet and I wouldn’t feel the need to fight it if it wasn’t for the fact it’s bleeding off the internet into real life with devastating effects.

I got no problem respecting pronouns. I got no problem acknowledging trans men and women as what they are: trans men and women. No, a trans woman does not know what it’s like to be born female, and I don’t know what it’s like to have dysphoria so severe that transition feels like the only way to exist. I ask that trans women respect that they had a male upbringing and thus have male biases, but I have no problem with transition in and of itself. I have no problem accepting trans people face transphobia. Part of that transphobia is the inability of radfems to combat sexist TRA arguments without calling trans women male or men. It’s not about respecting those who are misogynists, it’s about being better than the assholes who call us terfs.

My goal here isn’t to bash trans people, it’s to shed a light on the sexist and violent nature of certain TRA arguments and the perpetuation of terf against any woman they don’t like, especially lesbians.

I maybe labeled a terf, but technically I am not. I encourage other radfems not be terfs either, whether you believe people can transition or not. It doesn’t cost you anything to respect a name and a pronoun, and if you can’t argue against the sexism in the TRA movement without doing so, then I think you’re no better than the misogynists.

You can prove your point without tearing someone done. Even if you don’t understand being trans, you can respect trans people and demand respect for female women too. It’s not that hard, and I wish more of you would do that instead of taking the easy route of insults and misgendering. Don’t give them the ammunition to make radfems look as hateful as the zealots in the TRA movement.

I may reblog some posts that misgender because the content is too important to ignore. Know that’s not how I feel or choose to be when challenging the sexism of terf hatred.

#feminism #sexism #misogyny #radfem #radical feminism #transphobia #trans rights #terf rhetoric #misgendering

[nothorses]

The idea that people try to insist transmasc folk don't experience misogyny is astounding because the amount of times a terf or your general transphobe realizes I'm trans - they'll switch from using masculine language to me (including profanity) to using feminine language (especially the profanity along side lewd/vile comments). Transphobic yes, but also misogynistic because of the language being used. Like, to deny that is... 🙄

Big agree!! I’ve also seen even self-described trans allies mock trans men for “trying to be masculine” in various ways- like it’s silly to people that a “girl” would ever try to be a man.

The kind of transphobia we tend to get is also very misogynistic in nature; removing our autonomy by implying we’re “just confused/mislead women”, condescending to us about what a “real man” is, or viewing our “attempts to be men” as pitiful and silly. It’s about how we don’t actually know ourselves, we don’t know how to do it right, we don’t know as much as everyone else does, we’re easily confused and mislead... almost as if they think of transmasculine folks as less intelligent, less capable, and less autonomous than others.

Not to mention the straight-up misogyny that transmasculine folks face the moment they are outed as trans. I’ve been labeled “bitchy” and “bossy”, viewed as “talking too much”, had my knowledge and intelligence repeatedly called into question... even within trans-inclusive spaces.

I have also been told by so, so many cis feminists that trans men “don’t get a say” in feminism. As if we’ve forfeited all right to speak on our own issues & experiences by associating with the enemy. It’s... genuinely wild, tbh.

#trans #transgender #transmasc #feminism #don't even get me STARTED on the misogyny in the fucking #truscum anti-nonbinary bullshit #and the anti-mogai/anti-microlabels stuff lmfao #Anonymous

[my-river-styx]

A Big Fuck Off Rant Here Lads, Be Warned This Is About Terfs/Radfems As Well As A Bunch Of Political Stuff

I hate that God awful sinking feeling I get in my gut when I end up on a Terf/transphobic persons blog and I just, realise people that are that desperately hateful exist. I found a blog and was going through it, the name making me think they were trans friendly seeming as they had it in their name, only to become rapidly confused and kinda sick when all their posts were outright seethingly angry and hateful towards trans people. Like, the first few I read I thought I was misunderstanding but the further I got I was like, oh, no, they are a Terf/transphobe or align with their ideals.

I don't have a problem with people having opinions, it's your right to think and say what you want. But what I do have a problem with is you putting that vile hateful shit online where kids, trans or otherwise, can see it. To be fair, kids shouldn't be on Tumblr even after the shitty facade of a purge they did to make it child friendly. However, kids ARE on here and they ARE reading your posts and posts like them. It's how conservatives and other far right and even drastically far left groups manage to keep relevance in our lives despite most people disagreeing with them. It's through feeding kids their crap over and over again, sometimes without them realising or wanting to. It happened when I was a kid but luckily my parents aren't nearly conservative and simply hold similar beliefs in some areas. I grew up thinking those hateful things were right, and okay.

Until I opened my fucking eyes and realised they weren't. That you shouldn't feed children your hateful and poisonous rheteric when they don't understand the situations. I, as a little fucking child, genuinely believed that asylum seekers didn't deserve access to our country because they didn't go through legal channels. My parents offloaded their beliefs onto me and for quite a while I didn't even question it. The news/media in Australia didn't help either. But then I grew the fuck up and realised that I was fed a bunch of shit. That what they were saying was bullshit. That the media was trying to shove that shit into my head because it distracted me from them, and the government and what they were doing. It was to give me a fake enemy so I wouldn't see the very real one right under my nose.

Those people, all people, deserve safety and respect unless they are actively causing harm to others.

The problem is a lot of those children grow up not realising those ideas are old, outdated and toxic to change. That they are media crap designed explicitly to keep your eyes away from the blatant corruption of our world and that it is rapidly being killed. And they vote. And have blogs online where they spew their vile crap for newer generations to see. It's why I wish kids weren't allowed on this site. Because a lot of the crap on here is just that, crap. Shit that doesn't actually have a foothold in the real world or if it does, it's so small that it doesn't matter. Terfs and radfems on Tumblr have a huge foothold and use it to attack trans people just trying to live their fucking lives, not hurting anyone. Trans women especially are the victims of this, trans men less so, though it is still a big deal. Terfs and radfems are so concerned with policing who can do what that they don't police themselves.

Their community supposedly stands for women's rights (and by that they mean cis women because God knows they don't know how to be accepting) but as soon as a cis women comes forward supporting Trans women and trans women lesbians, they are instantly shut down, saying they must be an idiot or they are brainwashed. They only support the people who support them. They don't stand for feminism or women's rights, because if they did they would include trans women BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN. No, they just want to support their own little bubble and exclude anyone they don't like, just like we are back in fucking highschool with friendship groups and cliques.

For Trans men, if the terfs and radfems don't just outright dismiss them and call them confused women or women trying to escape the patriarchy, they are infantilized. They see us as women. Not as men. I can't force you to accept trans people and even if I could, I wouldn't want to. The fact you are so critical and hateful only speaks volumes about you as a person, about how you either hate yourself or are so drastically narcissistic that you need mental health assistance. Nobody filled with that much anger and hate for people they don't know and who are not doing anything wrong, is happy in their lives. You reek of low self-esteem and self loathing and I feel sorry that your way of dealing with that is to lash out at trans people instead of taking the time to listen to yourself and heal. It's not a way I wouldn't want anyone to live.

In the real world and not tumblr.hell, radfems and terfs have a much smaller voice. It's there, no doubt, and there are some much louder voices and ideas, but they are rightfully ignored for the fact they are just spewing hate. Anyone who does agree with them is normally a conservative, cis and straight. All things that mean they cannot understand the trans experience, let alone the LGBTQ one. Now, there are a lot of radfem/Terf lesbians, who loathe the idea of trans women in their spaces because "they aren't women, they are men just trying to invade our spaces and take them away". No, they aren't. I'm not a trans women, but I do know a lot about the trans experience on the other end as a trans man. Trust me when I say that trans people do not want to steal your space. They are people who want to find support and comfort within a group of people. Trans women can be lesbians because they are women. Trans men can be gay, because they are men. Hell, it was trans women who pioneered the LGBTQ movement, so you wouldn't have the spaces you do today without them. Learn to break free of your biased thoughts and move towards understanding how to be including and accepting. I don't even begin to understand every facet of the LGBTQ community. So many parts of it confuse me. But it's not my place to tell someone they aren't allowed to identify as something. Unless it is genuinely hurting someone, like pedophiles and maps (which newsflash, despite what terfs and radfems want to pretend and scream, trans women aren't. They just want to fucking pee and shit in the toilet for fuck sales).

So, this whole long 3:15 am insomnia ridden post really boils down to, is this. Try and step out of your bubble. Out of the comfort of your preset ideas on people and the lies and garbage fed to you by the media and even your parents in some cases. Try and understand others or at least take the time to listen instead of blindly attacking like a wounded animal. You are not inherently hateful. You deserve the chance to step out of your little cave and learn that the big bad world isn't out to get you. Trans women aren't trying to invade your spaces, or forces lesbians to date them. Trans men aren't trying to escape the patriarchy or are women haters, or trying to change what being gay means. We are real people deserving of respect. We aren't asking for you to bow at our feet. We are asking you to stop attacking us without reason, to stop listening to the horse shit the media throws out to defame and make us look like the villians. Because while your out here attacking innocent trans people, your getting your rights slowly erroded by a government that doesn't give two shits about you. That is purposely force feeding you garbage through the media to make you complacent and distract you from what's going on. Do you think big bussniess, the thing that bloody runs our governments now, gives a shit about you? About what you think? No, they want to make money. Your a number to them. They blatantly pull the strings of all major governments and take away any right you have to object. They are tearing the planet apart to the point 1/7 people will survive.

The planet is dying, rapidly, and if you stopped worrying about us merely existing and instead turned your attention to the real problems, we could do so much more to fight for our rights.

Your very lively hood, the thing you so vehemently fight for is not only on the line, it's at stake. They are trying to kill us, and your bitching online that a trans women went into the female bathroom to pee like a goddamn human being.

Get your priorities straight.

#transgender #mtf #ftm #radfem #terf #media #global warming #government #rant #look #ive just #got a lot to say

[positive-lesbian-vibes]

tbh tumblr so badly wants to assume that all terfs are lesbians and all lesbians are terfs that I see trans lesbians getting accused of being terfs on my dash with baffling regularity.

yeah me too? or even if they aren’t outright called terfs they are accused of being terf sympathizers or something idk

and like. i support hating terfs so much. terfs are disgusting. but i think a lot of cis tumblr (myself not excluded from this) has put so much more energy into hating terfs than supporting trans women and fighting transmisogyny and creating a safe and supportive space for trans women. Besides just being performative to at least some significant degree, it’s also very self-congratulatory to see hating terfs as the ultimate trans-ally deed when it’s really just like, basic human decency.

i have definitely fallen prey to this sort of thinking before, and i regularly check myself because i know how easy it is to check “hating terfs” off the social justice checklist and move on, but it’s not that simple.

especially since nobody on tumblr actually cares about the definition of terf anymore. terf was coinced to describe a specific type of radical feminist. whether or not radical feminism is inherently transphobic is a discussion for another time that I am beyond unqualified to contribute to, but most people seem to be content with calling anything transmisogynistic “terfy” and anything terfy “transmisogynistic.” and white terf ideology is inherently transphobic (specifically transmisogynist), not all transphobia is specifically terf ideology. that isn’t to say that if it isn’t terfy it’s fine, it’s to say that tumblr has largely misattributed transphobia to terfs when all cis people are capable and guilty of transphobic beliefs or actions by virtue of being cis, even if we have a name for particularly violent transmisogynists of a certain strain (terfs)

And so it becomes sooooo much easier to absolve yourself of guilt regarding your own transphobic beliefs that you need to unlearn if you can claim you hate terfs and move on. im not saying that terfs aren’t vile, because they absolutely are, but they are not the only source of transmisogyny on this website or in the real world, and while it is important to take a stand against them on all mediums, it’s also simplistic and ignorant to assume that blocking terfs or anything else will eradicate transphobia, specifically transmisogyny.

And i think the reduction of supporting trans women down to “hate terfs” is part of the reason tumblr brands lesbians as terfs so frequently? in addition to being regularly demonized for other various reasons, lesbians are easy to brand as terfs, because of the nature of lesbianism being exclusive of men and transmisogyny first and foremost stripping trans women of their womanhood. and I think both of these things (seeing hating terfs as the ultimate sjw move to support trans women and seeing lesbians as fundamentally closer to terf ideologies than anybody else) has led to this?

i mean obviously if the only way you support trans women is by accusing them to subscribe to a belief system that actively perpetuates violence against them, then your allyship is entirely performative and probably primarily for you to feel better about being a piece of shit.

All in all, I think it’s time we cis people collectively decide that while hating terfs is absolutely the proper response to their ideologies, we need to do more than claim we hate terfs, call every transphobe a terf, and pat ourselves on the back for being sooooooo progressive. we need to better for our trans sisters.

#like genuinely i dont think its ever okay to call a trans woman especially a trans lesbian a terf #just my hot take #but ya i think ur right #on tumblr terf=lesbian which leaves transphobes and homophobes in a v awkward position bc trans lesbians exist #terf mention tw #chaoticdirt #ask

[cuntess-carmilla]

D0n’t r3bl0g

I’ll preface this with three statements:

Don’t reblog this. Yes, I know it’s in the title of the post but you bitches can’t read.

I feel compassion towards the people who up until today trusted her, and I’d be a hypocrite to act like I’m all knowing and infallible considering I excused her behavior for a long time too and enabled her as well. I understand, in particular, why bi woc would cling to someone like her and have an impulse to protect her, for both who she is and the content she provided.

There’s a lot to be said about her antiblackness, but me being non-Black, not having had exactly the firmest condemnation of it at the time, and many of the people she’s disappointed today being Black wlw, I don’t feel comfortable being the one to expand on that. I’m only mentioning it briefly in this point for the sake of acknowledging that that’s an issue too.

That said, it’s my opinion that Navya’s “reach” (for lack of a better word) on this website would’ve been lesser if she had been properly held accountable for her constant blatant lesbophobia.

Again, I’m not angry at anyone other than her for the most part, and I feel sad for the people who trusted her and are hurting over this, so please don’t take this as me “calling out” anyone or anything alike. Again pt 2, I enabled and excused her lesbophobia for a while too, so I’d be a hypocrite to chastise anyone for that.

The thing is, biphobic lesbians sadly did give her enough genuine ammunition to claim biphobia at the smallest criticism of her lesbophobia, but she really was (and I’m sure still is) a raging lesbophobe and I started to feel uncomfortable with her by the last bunch of months we were mutuals, but was too much of a coward to openly acknowledge it, as well as too scared that I was being a Delusional Hysterical Dyke.

I don’t fucking know why I let it slide so much, even as her lesbophobia personally made me hate myself as a lesbian to the point of her adding into my suicidality, but she really was going around saying countless times shit like “Thank God I only talk to bi and straight woc” clearly in reference and reaction to lesbian anything. Saying “I only talk to bi woc” is one thing and that I can understand (even though she would’ve indirectly bitten my head off if I said the same as a lesbian lol) but adding the straight women into it makes it a different type of statement. I seriously don’t know why I kept my mouth shut on that, it’s not something I would’ve allowed to slide from anyone else.

I started to see her insane levels of egotism, pettiness, cowardice and arrogance whenever I made posts discussing my own hurt as a lesbian, things as “casual” and brief as “I hate being a dyke lmao” in reference to intracommunity lesbophobia triggering me, and she’d immediately start to mirror everything I said but about herself as bisexual. Which, obviously feeling self-hatred as a bi woman and feeling hated within spaces that should be the most accepting towards her is a real and valid feeling, but she started to replicate my exact phrasing after a while and would almost always make that kind of comment indirectly right after I made mine as if she was always responding to me.

In general she would post a lot of shit mirroring mine in that way or vagueblog about my commentary on intracommunity lesbophobia. This chick went as far as to (correctly) point out that biphobique was pushed out of this website via biphobic harassment specifically, but when Yole being pushed out similarly (back when she identified as a lesbian) was brought up in conjunction to that, she brushed it off as it being because she was a Black wlw, which she directly named as being the one thing she had “in common” with biphobique, intentionally obfuscating that Yole was pushed out via specifically lesbophobic harassment mainly perpetrated by bi women, just like biphobique’s biphobic harassment was mainly perpetrated by lesbians. Nope, it was just because she’s a Black wlw, her (at the time self-identified) lesbianism specifically had NOTHING to do with it, but biphobia specifically did have everything to do with the other case. Because lesbophobia is not that big a deal and no one hates lesbians specifically for being lesbians, only for being wlw in general, but bi women are hated specifically for being bi women instead. Apparently.

Every time I tried to make any post addressing intracommunity lesbophobia she’d make yet another type of vague post (having a much larger following than me) redirecting the attention towards “But bi women...!” which, AGAIN, is obviously an important thing to discuss, but can we fucking discuss lesbophobia for once without having the spotlight stripped from us for five fucking minutes? Or is that too much to ask?

It happened with shit such as me begging to please stop spreading (the misreading of?) a statistic that while correctly assessing the insane levels of abuse bi women face, also painted lesbians as facing significantly less abuse than cis straight women. In the context of this stupid fucking website in which I have had to see posts about how lesbians are privileged over bi AND STRAIGHT women all the fucking time and how we’re supposedly never fucking abused and WE alone are to blame for the abuse bi women face.

It happened with me discussing that lesbian self-hatred comes 99% of the time not from us liking women, but from us NOT liking men, which in another vague post she deemed as me saying that “bi women benefit from being attracted to men” when that was not what I said at all. I never even mentioned bi women specifically until I had to clear that up. I begged in one (1) post for people to extend the same level of solidarity to us that they demand from us, I begged people to see us as vulnerable human beings who have Feelings and hurt too, and she made a victim of herself on another vague post in response.

Everything always had to be about her and what mattered to her specifically. Which, fine in your personal life, but let the rest do the fucking same if that’s how you’re gonna be too. It wasn’t just that she had to always divert attention back to herself but created an environment in which it was seen as horrendous for lesbians to behave with 1% of the same self-priority.

Honestly, being around her as a lesbian felt like constantly walking on eggshells and increased my internalized lesbophobia exponentially. I saw in real time her influence turning other bi women into vocal lesbophobes thinking that shit was Radical. She and the people who supported her lesbophobia reinforced SO MUCH of the sentiment of Apologize For Being A Lesbian At Every Turn OR ELSE...! that’s so prevalent everywhere in which dykes dare to breathe.

But few people took it seriously, and those few people who took it seriously, especially Black lesbians, were painted as vile biphobes, no matter how careful they were to not fall into biphobia in their critiques of her lesbophobia.

I still see the impact of her widespread lesbophobia in this website to this day and very soon after I ceased any sort of contact with her (which was when I left Tumblr in early 2019) I came to terms with the fact that she’s a raging lesbophobe and stopped being too found of her memory, to say the least.

I wish so badly we could all take lesbophobia more seriously rather than, as per usual literally everywhere in the world, seeing claims of lesbophobia as dykes just being our delusional hysterical cunt selves always crying wolf. And I wish too that biphobic lesbians hadn’t given her all the excuse to claim biphobia whenever she was being rightfully criticized over her lesbophobia. What a way to dig your own graves you dumb bitches.