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nicoline1998enilocin · 10 months

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Off Limits IV | The one where they're caught

PAIRING | Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.9K

SUMMARY | The two of you have been keeping a low profile while dating because you really didn't want Tony to find out. When you think everyone is gone for a mission, you get a little bit reckless and it gets steamy in the living room. That is until someone walks in, and you get caught.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Implied shower sex, make-out sessions, cock warming, nipple play.

Likes and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist | Series masterlist | Part III | Part V

The past few months with Steve have been nothing short of amazing, apart from the sneaking around you both have to do. The night of your first time with Steve, he asked you to be his girlfriend, and you happily accepted. You're only demand was that you wanted to keep it a secret for now. ''As long as I am with you, I don't mind keeping it a secret,'' he said. There have been some stolen kisses when no one was looking, or some extra cuddles during movie nights, but nothing that would get the two of you caught. Until now.

Bucky knows his best friend through and through, so when he started acting a little different around you, he got suspicious. It wasn't enough for him to directly worry, but it was noticeable to him. It all started on the night of Tony's party when he saw the two of you dancing together, a lot closer than friends usually would, but then again, he was frozen and brainwashed for 70 years, so what did he know about modern times, right? But ever since that night, he was happier, his mood often lighting up when you walked into the same room where he was. He also noticed that you were called up to his office more than the rest of you were, and he couldn't figure out why. So he decided to bring it up to Steve on their morning run.

''So, how is Y/N?'' Bucky asked casually, not trying to show his suspicion too much. ''She's good, settling in well in her role,'' Steve said, and he wondered where this was suddenly coming from. ''I bet she is,'' Bucky muttered, but Steve chose to ignore it, although something didn't feel right at this moment. ''The two of you seem to be getting pretty close,'' he said then, and Steve agreed. ''We're really good friends, that's all. We enjoy hanging out together and we have a lot of fun when we're preparing for missions,'' he said while shrugging his shoulders. Bucky chose to not pry any further, it didn't feel right to do it so he would just leave it at that. The rest of the run they spent catching up about missions and life in general.

When Steve comes back from his run, he finds you laying on your stomach in bed, wearing only a pair of lacy panties and reading your book. ''Hm, I don't mind seeing this every time I come home from my runs, love,'' he says and he's practically drooling over you. Steve's room is soundproofed so when he lands a smack on your ass and you shriek out, neither of you is worried about the others hearing it. ''Babe, warn a girl next time! Now I couldn't enjoy it as much,'' you said with a little pout and Steve couldn't help himself. He rolled you over and laid on top of you, softly kissing you and brushing one of his hands over your nipples. ''Want to take a shower together? That way I can make it up to you a few times…'' he said with a mischievous grin and you couldn't say no.

1.5 hours and a combined total of 5 orgasms later, both of you were laying spent on the bed, still recovering from the mind-blowing shower you just shared. ''I should surprise you like that more often if that's how I make up for it,'' Steve said with a chuckle. ''I think so too,'' you said and you brushed his cheek with your thumb before planting soft kisses where your thumb just was. ''I think everyone will be gone on a mission in a few days except for us, maybe we could venture out of the bedroom a little bit for once,'' you say, and judged by the shocked look on Steve's face he doesn't think it's a good idea. ''I don't mean we should have sex in every room all day long, but I wouldn't mind having a good make-out session in the living room or something,'' you say and Steve turns red at the idea. He still isn't used to you talking about things like that so openly.

''I wouldn't mind that, but how about we have one right now?'' he offers, and you agree. ''We can spice this one up a little bit if you want though,'' you tell him and Steve can immediately tell you have something on your mind by the look on your face. ''I've noticed you're already hard for me again, and I wouldn't mind keeping it warm for you during our make-out session,'' you offer, but he isn't sure what you're getting at. ''I could cockwarm you if you're up for it. You'd slide it in while we make out, and if one thing leads to another, all you would have to do is move your hips and I could cum for you again,'' you tell him, your eyes blown with lust. Steve agrees and you wrap your hand around his cock first and pump a few times to get him ready before straddling him and sliding slowly down until he's bottomed out. ''Oh fuck, love, feels so good,'' he moans and you kiss him.

The kisses start slow and soft, but soon both your hands are wandering a little bit, and the kiss is deepened. Steve licks your bottom lip and when you open, he softly sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, letting it go with a soft pop. This makes you smile and you do the same to him, but you also nibble softly on his, getting a soft moan out of him right away. ''Feel so good inside me, Captain,'' you whisper against his mouth and when you say it, his hips buck up out of reflex, getting a louder moan from you. You reattach your lips to his again and you both deepen the kiss immediately, sucking on each other's tongues one by one, taking your time to explore each other's mouths. After a while, Steve can't take it any longer and softly starts lifting his hips, and it doesn't take long for either of you to have another orgasm. ''That was amazing, love, I think we should do that more often,'' Steve said with a smirk on his face, and you agree.

~ 2 weeks later ~

You and Steve have been preparing for the mission the rest of the Avengers will be going on, the two of you weren't needed for this one so you took full advantage of it. Steve usually woke you up with either his tongue or his cock and now the both of you gladly spent the entire mornings in bed together. At some point, you remembered the moment you asked Steve about maybe moving your escapades out of the bedroom, and you brought it up again. ''Babe, remember when we talked about maybe having a make-out session out of the bedroom for once? I think today would be the perfect moment, everyone's gone on the mission and they won't be back for a few days, so we can just let go for once,'' you say and Steve agrees with it. ''Just the making out, or also the cock warming?'' he says with a bit of mischief in his voice. ''STEVE!'' you exclaim and smack him against his arm playfully, there are boundaries to this after all.

You're both dressed in loungewear so you can be nice and comfortable on the couch in the living room, and Steve picks you up by putting his hands under your thighs and lifting you. Out of reflex you wrap your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck, so you can be carried like a koala bear. He walks you to the door and instead of opening it, he pushes you against it and kisses you deeply, he honestly couldn't wait. When you pull away to breathe, you tell him you didn't even make it to the living room yet. ''It's gonna be a long road if we stop every time,'' you said with a giggle, and with a fake defeated look, he opened the door and carried you to the living room. When you reached the couch, you unhooked your legs behind his back and he sat down, you straddling his lap and thighs now.

Steve looked at you and admired your beauty for a little bit, whispering sweet nothings to you which made you blush like a tomato. When he figured you'd be red enough in your face, neck, and chest, he softly attached his lips to yours, slowly and tenderly kissing you without a single worry in his mind. Your worries and thoughts also melted away the second he placed his lips on yours, and your hands started wandering over his body. Down his arms, over his waist, and up his chest until they found their place on his neck again. Steve also let his hands explore your body, softly brushing his fingers over your back, up to your shoulders, and down your arms, before slowly moving under your shirt to feel the naked skin under there. His hands moved up to your nipples, and as soon as he pinched them softly you gasped, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth while he kept softly pinching and rubbing your nipples, making them nice and hard.

''You like that, baby? You like it when I play with your nipples here?'' he asks you and you softly moan in response. Just when he was about to mention how hard he was because of you, the two of you heard a gasp and Steve immediately let go of your nipples. ''Good friends, my ass,'' Bucky says when he walks into the living room. He was on his way to the kitchen to get some water for his throat, he wasn't feeling well so he stayed home from the mission. You quickly try to move from Steve's lap but he keeps you there, not wanting to show the erection he got from your make-out session. You were both showing the same deep red color on your cheeks from being caught and you couldn't look Bucky in the eyes right now, so you hid your face in Steve's neck.

''I'm happy for the both of you, don't get me wrong, but I can't get over the fact that you lied to me, Steve. You could have told me the two of you are together, and I would have kept it a secret,'' Bucky said, still shocked at what he saw. He was just going to the kitchen but he wasn't sure if anyone was awake so he tried not to make any noise, and he succeeded because they hadn't heard him due to his assassin-like walking. ''I'm sorry Buck, but we hoped to keep it a secret for a while longer, we're enjoying the fact that it's just something between us - and now you know of course,'' Steve explained, and Bucky understood what it felt like. ''I get it, but you do need to be more careful in that case, you never know when someone might sneak up on you,'' he said with a smirk before going back to his bedroom. ''I'm happy for the two of you though, you are perfect for each other,'' he said and he left. You and Steve looked at each other and burst out in laughter, your make-out session long forgotten now.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #captain america

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rrxnjun · 5 months

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(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

#💌ask #feedback !!#<3

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blackvail22 · 8 months

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i talk here a bunch each day because i have no one else to talk to.

its sad, honestly.

i couldnt go to my counseling appointment, so i wont be able to see her again for another 2 weeks

thats nearly a month since ive seen her

im not doing very well so this isnt good at all lmao

idk how im going to make it another 2 weeks but all i can do is try ...

i think i start work again next week. im afraid of what has changed... probably not a lot. all i know is we have a new manager, and ive heard he's nice

i have a postop appt on tuesday for my tonsillectomy. finally i will have what my disease means explained to meeee. i keep thinking about it, and its been bothering me. i probably wont know if i have another surgery until after my next ct scan (they have to space them out so i dont get exposed to too much radiation and i had one less than a month ago) and idk when that is

im so bored. i have to be the problem

i really think i am

"my friends wont reach out" but when i reach out its super dry and they varely engage. maybe im seeing it in the wrong perspective. maybe my vision is skewed, and im seeing it in the wrong light.

maybe its because theyre busy

maybe at work

going to work

hanging out with other friends

going to hang out with other friends

i want to have a good friend group so bad but i feel like i cant have one

i feel like my only friend was em even though she used me. oh, i dont know if i ever told u the reason why we arent friends anymore

so, i dont have the best memory of the order everything happened, but ill do my best to sort it out

after spending a bunch of time together, we started to fade away. i would ask her if she wanted to spend the night, she would hesitate for a good 30 minutes, talk to her mom, and then say "sure". sometimes she wouldnt wait until we ate dinner (but a good amount of times she did) until shed say "oh i forgot something at home" or "my stomach hurts" and id walk to her house with her (except the times when she'd tell me not to).

when i walked with her, she would always say "ill be right back" and then shed be gone for 10 minutes and her mom would come out and be like "hey... she doesnt feel well so she's going to say home". and each time i would walk home crying. at this point, she was already blowing me off, not talking to me, and overall being rude, but i still went back to her every time.

this rare occasion was in early september of 2017. we only hung out, and then she said she had someone else shes hanging w at her house. she had become friends with people that hated my sister as well as a girl that honestly no one knows. em started to become them... like literally she became a copy of them. the whole group of girls would tell her that my sister is a fat, ugly whore. they fed her all of this, and they would talk and call my sister names and generally talk shit about her

a few days after i heard abt this, i saw things from em that she was having a hard time. i was outside doing yard work, and she was walking by. i said "hey, i hope you feel better" and she yelled "fuck you" at me while, again, giving me the finger.

i dont know what i did, but that was the last time in years that we would talk to each other. we would be "friends" on the bus the few days she went to school sophomore year...

now, though? i dont exist to her. i saw her at my work TWICE this past year, once being on my recent birthday, and she pretended she didnt know me. i look the same as i did before... this most recent time, she was with her boyfriend, one of the friends from '17 and her mom. as i greeted them, everyone looked over except her... her mom even did a double take.

she claims she doesnt know why our friendship went to shit when we were toxic to each other our whole friendship. it was never healthy.

she seems to be happy though, at least happier than me. shes pregnant again. im not sure of the gender, but i think its going to be a boy. she's always wanted to be a mom, so i hope shes a good one.

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cnlalimna · 2 years

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July 10, 2022

hm i wont lie the past two months have been absolutely shit. like oh my god i cannot face anyone right now because my brain cannot handle it, which is basically how its been. The only person ive talked to consistently is jordan...but even hes been busy so most of the time im kinda just doing my own thing. honestly though it hasnt been bad, i like being on my own and stuff.

SO! major updates!

i began working at the aquarium of the pacific and thats super cool. i really like it there despite it being super exhausting. I like looking at the animals and interacting with the kids. weird huh!? i like working the later shift because when im working the touch tanks usually theres no people and i can just play with the animals :> here are some pictures

we're going from most recent to least recent btw.

went to LA a good few times! I've been looking and going to my favorite places recently and have been deciding whether or not to bring jordan there when he comes down to visit one day.

I've been to so many baseball games!! two angels games and one AA dodgers game :). baseball is so cool and it makes me so happy but oh my god I can't enjoy it anymore without jordan. like it's fun with my family but it's just different :/ BUT hopefully we can go to some games together eventually.

right after I moved back from college I spent wayyy too much money trying to distract myself from being so fucking sad :[ I got harry tickets and some vinyls.

pack up day for college was super emotional. not to sound mean but I really don't miss anyone other than jordan. I felt so isolated there and like I had no friends so it's hard for me to have those attachments to people who had a complete opposite experience than I did. here are some pictures from the end of the school year

in all honesty the summer has been super lonely but actually I think I'm happier than I've ever been these last couple of years. one major thing I've been feeling though is like just longing ig? in many different ways. I guess I really long for stability and a sense of belonging. I want that happiness you get from being in college. I want to be drunk with my friends under a discoball playing cumbia. I want to be able to see jordan whenever I want. so many wants in my life yet it seems like they're all going to be just out of reach.

jordan says he's gonna try to visit sometime in July. he's told me before that while he's gonna try his best the one thing he can't do is promise me that. he's really fucking sweet for shit like that, but he's absolutely crazy whenever he says that. the drive is almost 400 miles and over 5 hours, to do that shit alone is insane. I would love for him to crash here a few days but given his new job, it would be a waste of time to come down to visit only for a weekend. we like to joke around saying we're on our way to see the other person and everytime it makes me feel a tiny bit happy cause it feels normal and not like we're a good hundred miles apart. and truth is I miss him, like a fuck ton. I think more than I've ever missed a person. I hope soon comes in the near future, I'm filled with naive hope :) only time I'll be willingly naive for a person. I don't expect him to come though if I'm being completely honest, but one can dream hm?

#July #2022

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flowerwrites06 · 3 years

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break my mind’s eye IV — jjk

Plot: Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal.

Pairing(s): Druglord!Jungkook x Fashion Designer!OC (Name: Belle)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Mafia | Angst/Smut/Fluff

Tags & Warnings (for entire series): drug dealing, marriage through trickery, explicit smut, drug use, dubious consent, prostitution, miscarriage, lots of manipulation, impregnation through manipulation

Three days passed since their reconciliation and it felt as if the layer of ice around them finally melted into a somewhat comforting warmth. Mornings rose with an innocent conversation on their jobs except Jungkook tried to keep things discreet while they were eating. Nights ended in peaceful slumber, on the few occasions where Belle would sleep on his chest or Jungkook hugged her from behind.

The heavy pit in her stomach elated soon after a couple of decent sleeps. Especially now that the designing process for the Spring Line was almost over. Madame Saitos’ dresses were incredibly rare because each piece of clothing was handmade save for a few trips on the sewing machine. Which is why the designing process comes with a time restraint to ensure that the most raw ideas spewed onto the paper. Of course tweaks here and there would always be required but that time limit created some of Saito’s most prestigious fashion museum worthy designs.

Since Belle designed around half of the finalized line, she would handmake her own designs and the news alone could keep her happy for the rest of the year. After losing an opportunity to see her designs on the runway a tear almost jerked in her eye getting that chance again.

Secretly though her favourite design she made this month was the satin white suit for her ever fashionably selective ‘boyfriend’. Belle saw the kind of suits in his wardrobe, burgundy velvet, black with golden vectors, silk deep blue and over half of them were Saitos’ original designs. She knew that this suit had to match the standard of his entire wardrobe.

This morning Belle stood in front of an ironing board, briefly smoothing out the textures of the newly designed trouser ensuring that minimal pressure was placed. Glasses slightly slipped down her nose with her hair in a loose bun. Her body draped in a fitted black long sleeve tucked into a khaki green midi skirt and a short scarf tied around her neck.

The woman had enough time out of her work schedule to showcase the suit himself. Especially since ‘Jeon Jungkook preferred private deliveries’ as Saito would say with a playful roll of her eyes.

From what she observed Jungkook came back to the mansion for a lunch time refresh and almost right on the minute, the sound of a car stopping rung in her ears. Something fluttered in her heart knowing whose footsteps grew louder as the corner of her lips curled up when the familiar male showed himself, a small smile directed towards her.

Jungkook muttered a few words about the car to one of the guards before walking towards her while the pants now laid out on the ironing board neatly. “You’re working at home?” Hands dug into his pockets, eyes flickered down to the soft white pants.

Belle smiled with a bright glint in her gaze before turning around and grabbing the open box. “I wanted to give it you properly but—” Partially bandaged fingers hovered over the fabric of the freshly ironed jacket folded with care inside the box. “Do you want to try it?”

Something jolted inside him seeing the woman look over at him that he couldn’t quite describe in any sentence. But he nodded nonetheless. Shrugging off his own blazer, Jungkook kept a close eye on the graceful way she brought the long back suit out displaying it in front of him first. The corners of his lips instantly curled seeing the familiar winged design on the back, similar color to the whole suit except it had a sheen like texture that glistened when brought into the light. A design that resembled one animal he admired the most next to dogs. “Phoenix wings?”

The girl nodding enthusiastically. “Yeah. It’s the first time I’m making a suit for you so–I wanted it to be personal.”

Her voice had turned so sweet in the past few days that Jungkook could melt by the sound at this point.

Belle walked closer and draped the blazer around him, letting his arms into the sleeves before it perfectly lay on his shoulders. As distracting as the measuring session was the woman managed to make the fitting as close as possible. “Is it comfortable?” When the male agreed, she felt a sense of accomplishment burst through her. Saito had her make and mend suits all the time when she was not named a ‘designer’ but somehow knowing this one was done well allowed for a tiny celebration in her belly.

Jungkook watched her beautiful eyes light up, that strange jolt sparking inside him again which he ignored for the time being. “I want to give you something too.” He glanced down at the magnificent blazer before looking up at her.

“What is it?” Belle watched him carefully shrug off the suit so the entire outfit could be placed neatly for the event it’s meant for.

Gentle hand wrapped around hers, Jungkook led her upstairs to their shared bedroom.

Once they reached the area Belle was made to wait on the bed while the male rushed into the walk-in wardrobe. The only thing she could make out properly were the sounds of rummaging through clothes and slight slamming of something wooden. Then his figure appeared again holding a small deep red velvet box in his hand. As soon as her eyes reached the object, her heart hammered before her mind could even catch up. It didn’t take an expert to assume what might lay inside the box as she had seen many like it for one particular occasion.

“I know it looks daunting.” Jungkook reassured as if sensing the thoughts rushing inside her mind. “A lot of deals tend to have paper contracts which we will get at some point.” He padded closer before kneeling down completely in front of her while she sat on the edge, his arms brushing against her knees. “But for now—I want to give you this. As a promise that I’ll never pull the rug from under you…ever. This agreement is as solid as the pillars of this mansion. Nothing will ever happen to it.”

Like a thin paper ripped out from her eyes Belle faced her true reality staring down at the now open box, showcasing a glimmering diamond ring. Growing up the woman had been one of those people who believed marriage was a sacred bond. A promise that two people would stay loyally and happily together till the end of their comforting days. Jungkook showed no sign of being disloyal nor did Belle feel any deep sense of unhappiness in these few days. Looking at the truth behind the veil seemed naïve in this situation knowing it would only make their ordeal miserable all over again. She couldn’t afford to be miserable now. Taehyung was getting better, taking his medicine and moving to become a better man and she had to stay strong to ensure that happened. He deserved to come out happier from all this just as much as she did.

So she smiled down at the male seeing a comforting shine in the ring now. Perhaps a sign of hope rather than some sensationalized sacred bond. “Which finger should I put it on?”

Jungkook chuckled, pulling the ring out and gently taking her left hand. In no manner of hesitation the ring was softly placed on her fourth finger fitted to near perfection. “I borrowed one of your rings to get the fit.”

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered. Her hand absentmindedly reached out to caress the skin under his white collar feeling a slight warmth. Leaning in, Belle pressed a tender kiss just on the corner of his lips before pulling away.

His breath choked in his damn throat feeling her soft lips; his hands almost wanting to caress every inch of her skin and forget about the rest of the days’ work. Though Jungkook respected that Belle understood they couldn’t. No matter how amazing the idea sounded. He merely let out a slightly shaky sigh before giving the beauty a smile. Unfortunately he had to look back at the watch knowing there was a meeting looming in the next half hour almost leaving an empty feeling in his gut. “I have to go back to work.”

Belle nodded, snapping herself back to reality. “I have to go too.”

Hesitantly unlocking their joined hands they both went to their separate locations for the rest of the work-day.

Another two days went by in a blissful rush as Jungkook and Belle grew friendlier towards each other to the point where they would even share laughter through jokes from work or childhood life. Belle found out that his mother worked at a magazine company in Beijing while his father ran the investment companies in the US. They were very hands-off parents when he was growing up so his aunt practically adopted and raised him which is why his personality differed greatly from his father. Though his tactics in this business were heavily influenced by him.

Jungkook discovered her parents had been more fond of a son than a daughter so she had to jump through a lot more hoops to be good in their eyes. Eventually it never worked, Taehyung took care of her most of her life so far. That is until her parents were killed in an accidental explosion at their place of work which led to her older brothers’ downfall. Belle’s uncle and aunt tried to take care of him from time to time while she worked at the boutique until at some point they grew tired of babysitting a drug addict.

The two never really had a person to truly share mixed feelings about their upbringing. Even if Belle had Taehyung, he would always somehow reel back and tell her that their parents loved them both equally. Which she knew fully well was not true no matter how much it felt comforting to believe it.

Though the deep conversations usually faded back into playful serenity again now more comfortable with each other’s presence than ever before.

In came the day of the garden party.

Belle dressed herself in a baby blue midi dress, the overlay adorned with the same colored flowers on a sheer material trailing down to touch her knees, crème colored hat to finish it off. The second event she was going to with Jungkook but this time no sense of dread passed through her nor any stress. In fact the woman wanted to see Jungkooks’ aunt wearing the gorgeous dress she chose for the occasion. And Jungkook wearing his own custom made suit.

A similar routine where she walked down the stairs while the white-suited male gave some instructions to the guards possibly about keeping an eye on the mansion while they were away. Then he turned to face her once she reached the center of the living room, a soft smile immediately tugging at the corner of her lips.

The extremely aware corner of her mind now buried itself under all the elation developed through the past few days. Some part already knew that this was a ruse. Jungkook was successfully gaining everything he asked for without barely lifting a finger and Belle truly had no valid choice to disagree. Though if that thought swirled around in her head for too long, it would start aching and this whole experience could fade into torture again.

Perhaps there was a comfort in pretending that his hand intertwined with hers radiated comfort rather than entrapment. The guards bowing to them and leading them into the car showed a sign of protection rather than no means of escape. Jungkook might think the woman a pawn but that did not mean she was one.

From where she sat in the car shoulder pressed to him and hands still linked, Belle imagined herself to sit at the far end of the chess board rather than the front as a mere pawn.

Once they reached the garden party the couple was welcomed with a vibrant burst of nature, people in colorful dress and bright suits floating through the bushes like pixies. Occasionally a photographer or two flashed their camera towards them but hardly anything intimidating like the previous event. Eyes almost immediately flickered over to them when they walked out of the car. Holding Jungkooks’ hand actually provided some kind of comfort knowing she was not alone and exposed to all these people.

Bushes shaped to represent different safari animals, crowds of pink, white and red roses all around coupled with fragrant jasmines and chrysanthemums. The garden looked almost endless from the sides. Belle noticed the large cherry and peach blossoms, little petals falling gracefully and a gorgeous mansion to pull the whole picture together. The building adorned a taupe sandstone with golden detailing similar to Jungkooks’ estate except aged a bit more.

“Darlings!” Boyoungs’ voice rung in her ears as the woman bounced towards the couple wearing a royal purple midi dress with some matching wrist gloves and a floral hat to top it off. Purple tinted lips stretched out in a bright smile, hugging the both of them with the same enthusiasm.

The older female led them to the main table where her husband sat with a few other family friends who welcomed her with an intrigued smile. Sitting under the shade of the laced line umbrella provided some cool away from the warm sun while they were served tea.

Boyoungs’ eyes immediately flickered towards the shining diamond around Belle’s finger and a small gasp caught in her throat. “Oh you proposed!” Her announcement ripped through the entire group and onto a few others outside of the umbrella as a rush of cheer passed on like a infection.

Belle merely smiled with her gaze fixed on the rose tea while Jungkook chuckled nervously. She hoped they would not ask for a romantic proposal story but they all seemed to just pat the young male on the back. Some of the ladies asked what kind of cut it was which the girl gave an answer from observation. It didn’t take long for her to realize that most of these people were probably arranged to marry. So the idea of any romantic story would be useless to them even though Belle and Jungkook were supposed to be a ‘love’ marriage.

Somehow the lack of her own froufrou story made it easier and harder to sit at the table. Belle politely listened to stories of awkward marriage arrangement along with an attempt to sound less hostile towards each other. For a minute she prided in being so good at pretending that her marriage was happy and full of light.

Though the pretense became exhausting really quickly. Her posture began to falter as her rose tea reached the end of its fill and the shade from the sun created cloud over her mind.

“Excuse me.” Belle spoke as gently as she could to the crowd. “I’m going to take a stroll.” She smiled getting up from the chair, chest feeling a little constricted.

Jungkook watched her in slight concern when she excused herself. Truthfully nothing about this conversation comforted him either. The whole idea of marriage, especially one that came from a business arrangement didn’t spark happy stories and it was a situation that some attendees at the table could relate to. The only thing he could do as a sign of comfort was touch her hand lightly which she squeezed in response before he watched her walk deeper into the gardens.

A couple of minutes passed and Jungkook grew tired of the conversations bubbling between his family friends so his eyes wandered to other attendees. Eventually his eyes set on one particular male, simple black suit with a silver necklace around his neck and blue lens glasses over his eyes.

Excusing himself from the table politely, he walked over to where the other male had been examining the jasmines. A few colorful pixies rolled in front of him and giggled when he gave them way until finally he was able to come close to a more reassuring face. Well second most reassuring to the one that just glazed through the gardens on her own.

“Didn’t know you were so fond of nature.” Jungkook smirked standing next to him.

“Well a lot of my supplies come from plants.” He shrugged, eyes merely scanning over the flowers and trees not really focusing on anything in particular.

“Technically they’re my supplies but sure.” He dug his hands into his jacket pockets, attention trailing and silently searching for a familiar blue dress. “Anything to report?” It was a regular, almost absentminded question at this point whenever he saw the male since he was responsible for most of the sells around this area.

Hoseok took a generous sip of tea before wincing as he stared at the decorative cup. “Rose tea tastes like piss.” He cleared his throat, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “Everything’s fine so far. Clients are rolling in payments from all corners, some even paid in advance to ensure secrecy.” He placed the tea cup on one of the vacant tables before looking out in the gardens again. “Except a few regulars like Kim Taehyung still hasn’t paid.”

“I told he already paid all his previous payments.” Jungkook shook his head, brows furrowing.

“What about the one the five days ago?”

The younger male had to connect the dots for a few seconds as his forehead knitted. “Five days ago? He’s been in rehab for almost a fortnight.”

Hoseok shook his head. “Doesn’t look like it’s working. I remember all my sells.” He rolled his eyes a little. “Well I kinda just give it to Taehyung instead of sell.”

“You do know I could kill you for doing things like that, right?” Anger bubbled right up to his throat except not directed towards Hoseok.

“Hey you’re the one who told me to give younger clients a break.” He defended.

“I know.” Jungkook had the strong urge to tell him that Taehyung already paid the biggest price of all strolling around the cherry blossoms. “Don’t sell it to him anymore.” He ordered simply.

“What?”

“If he asks again, send him to me. Don’t give him anything.” He seethed the last word spotting Belle now as a bright suited man walked up to her. It didn’t take long for him to recognize the familiar face even from this distance.

Hoseok stared at the male quizzically. No client ever received this kind of special treatment even to send some kind of a message. Hell if he wanted to send a message, Taehyung would have been dead in a ditch somewhere for police to scrap him off. Yet Jungkook wanted to keep the man alive for some reason. “Why—”

“Just…” Jungkook sighed trying to push his frustrations even though he wanted to explode right there and then. “…Just do as I say.” Eyes flickered back over to Belle again who was now conversing and smiling with the man causing a small twinge in his chest. “I’m trusting you to do this for me, Hobi. Alright?”

The older male still looked utterly confused but nodded nonetheless. “Of course, man. You’re the boss.” He pressed his lips together. “Now can you tell where they put the whiskey?”

Jungkook glanced around the party before leaning into him. “Ask the server with the blue flower on his breast pocket. They usually bring in secret batches for more important guests. The password is periwinkle.”

“Is that some kind of fancy slang for penis?” Hoseok winced.

He stammered already imagining Belles’ reaction to that statement being far more dramatic than his. “It’s a shade of—just go.” Jungkook couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little as the male rushed to find his source of sanctuary.

Boyoung was definitely on par with the seasoning of fashion since a garden party was the absolute perfect way to create inspiration for spring design. Granted this years’ line finished in its designing process, there was no reason not to take in the sheer amount of beauty. How ethereal would those peach blossoms look on a silk kimono or chrysanthemum detailing on a wedding dress. So many colours and designs all around her Belle had the strong urge to twirl like a little child in pure happiness.

But to keep up a decent appearance she merely smiled watching the cherry blossoms fall gracefully down to the ground. Hand held out the woman managed to have one land on her palm. That was when a voice spoke from behind her.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

She turned around to see a man with a wisteria shaded suit and a charming plump lipped smile. His chocolate brown hair parted to the side with eyes that expressed both kindness mixed into a little intimidation. “It is.” Belle smiled at the male before glancing back at the scenery again.

He took a small step forward. “I’m Kim Seokjin.” He stated holding his hand out which the woman accepted kindly after a moments’ hesitation. “The owner of the Sangria House.”

Belle only heard a few rumors about the Sangria House much like a person who evaluated life in a brothel based on assumptions and fiction stories. From what she knew, it had the mixture of a teahouse and a brothel but that was pretty much everything. Either way she smiled knowingly trying to be polite even though the girl had no intention in admiring a neatly dressed pimp too much. “Kim Belle. Nice to meet you.”

“With the murmurs I’m hearing, it seems Kim will be turning to Jeon very soon.” Seokjin smirked, glancing over his shoulder towards the flowing pixies all over the garden.

The woman tried to maintain the smile despite her prior momentary peace in the garden now being diminished. “Maybe not that soon.” She mumbled.

“Why do you say that?”

Her heart leaped slightly, the sudden urge to just spew out her whole situation in hopes that Seokjin would never be in her line of sight again. But the woman knew better to keep quiet especially since these attendees would probably not be that helpful nor would they find her ordeal abnormal. “I have a lot of other responsibilities right now.”

“Ah yes the new and coming designer for Saito.” Seokjin nodded, gaze lowered to his feet for a moment before looking over at her again.

Belle smiled politely feeling a sense of pride towards her workplace. Saitos’ outfits were rare so it was hard hearing about them from just anyone. Except from the way this man held himself and the reputation of the Sangria House, she knew Seokjin was not just anyone.

“You know, I had been wanting to order a few new dresses from Madame Saito as a refreshed décor for my angels.” Seokjins’ request lingered in the light breezy garden. “Maybe I could personally order you as my designer.”

A chill rushed down her spine either from the breeze or the fact he said ‘my designer’. Still the woman sighed lightly and smiled. The opportunity to create a contact was a literal dream come true. But the man did not know her designs nor did he see how she worked. Which gave the unsettling assumption that Seokjin was asking on his mere personal interest just by looking at and talking to her.

“Darling!”

Belle heard a familiar voice call out as a flash of white strolled towards the two of them. Immediately a more genuine smile tugged at her lips when Jungkook stood, arm gently wrapped around her waist.

“Mr. Jeon.”

“Mr. Kim.” Jungkook’s fingers gripped at her dress for a second before smoothing it down. “I hope you don’t mind if I whisk away my lady for a minute.” It wasn’t really a question from the sound of his tone and when he was already pulling her away.

“Think about my offer, Ms. Kim.” Seokjin smirked.

Belle could only get the chance to nod before she felt herself being led off towards the mansion.

“Bit of a rushed interaction.” Belle remarked as they walked into the majestic building Jeon Boyoung called her home. Instead of crème, the mansion adorned a dark wooden interior with antique hand-painted portraits of what she assumed were ancestors of the Jeon family including a modern one of Jungkooks’ extended family. The large painting was the first thing people saw when they walked in, Jungkooks’ aunt and father sitting on chairs while their spouses and children stood on the far ends.

She could easily see the mixture between Jungkooks’ parents from his mothers’ soft round eyes and small pouty lips to his fathers’ sharp jaw and intimidating brows.

“You looked like you needed a bit of rescuing.” Jungkook replied simply with a shrug following her gaze up to the portrait.

“Oh yeah he was definitely ‘talking’ me to death.” Sarcasm seeped through her tone as she walked forward towards the wide entry hall having the strong urge to scream and see if there was an echo.

“Believe me that’s his superpower.” He tried to explain as well as keeping up with her slightly excited exploration. “Seokjin got his company to the highest ranks of the elite through his eloquence. Hell he even convinced me to invest.”

“So you invest in brothels.” Belle turned around to face him now, not really caring what he did in his work since it all could be listed down into a category of inappropriate. “Did you get good discounts?”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sangria House is not just a brothel.”

“Yes yes don’t think a girl working alone in the city hasn’t heard that before on the streets.” She raised a brow. “Let me guess…it’s a respected establishment with highly trained employees who get paid a fair wage. Did I forget to mention the highest bidder gets to take away a novices’ virginity? And the fair wage only exists if you’re a full-fledged angel. Oh and they get to wear pretty dresses.” Belle gave him an advertisement happy smile before walking carefully backwards.

“You’re telling me you’ve been recruited into Sangria House before?”

Belle shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m sure every person who looked unemployed enough has.”

Jungkook kept glancing behind her to check if it was safe enough to be walking like that. “Guess fate wanted you to come to this place one way or another.” He smiled.

“Ah so you did get a few investor gifts.” She turned back around walking towards the flight of stairs. “What were they like?”

His eyes trailed down her body when she bounced up the stairs feeling a quick tremble. “I’ve experienced better.” Jungkook quickly caught up to the woman and grabbed onto her hand to keep her close to him for a few more moments.

Belle smirked up at him trying to back away cheekily before her back hit the wall. “I think he had a good offer.” She muttered averting her gaze a little.

“Really?” He tilted his head placing his palm on the wall next to her head. “Do you have to wear a pretty dress to come with it?”

She playfully slapped his chest. “Not that kind of offer.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but admire her every little movement as if he would lose her if he missed a second.

“He wants me to design some dresses for his angels.”

“Are you going to agree?”

Belle shrugged soothing the place she slapped lightly. “He’s ordered from Saitos’ before so—should be a good contact.”

Jungkook only hummed in response.

“What?” The corners of her lips curled up already sensing what made the man look so uncomfortable at the prospect.

“Nothing…”

“Alright, I’ll just go back and talk to him again.”

Before Belle could prance down the stairs, Jungkook hooked his arm around her waist and pressed her back against the wall. One free arm leaned next to her head while he leaned down with a small smirk. “Everyone’s been talking to you today.” He brushed away the loose hair from her face before his arm wrapped around her again, making sure no space escaped between their bodies. “Maybe I just want you to myself for a minute.”

“I am an independent woman, Mr. Jeon.” She teased with a faint smirk. “You’re going to have to ask nicely.”

Jungkook smiled as she played with his sharp collars. “May I—please have you all to myself for a minute, Ms. Kim?”

Belle hummed, taking her hat off and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Just for a minute.” She acknowledged in a whisper.

All he needed was her say and his lips magnetized onto hers, tasting the brownie she nibbled on earlier. Palms rubbed over the soft fabric of her blue dress to her bare arms and the back of her neck, sliding down to where he could feel the curve of her plush peach. Almost a week had passed since they last touched each other in this manner but Jungkook burned up so much, he could surpass a furnace. Kisses trailed down to her jawline.

Pausing on a soft patch of skin on her neck he bit onto it humming in satisfaction when she gasped lightly. Jungkook could listen to those sounds on a record player if he ever wanted to find peace when she was away. He couldn’t help her squeeze her whole body a little to ensure that this wasn’t all a dream. But the heat radiating together told no lie.

Soon frustration seeped in as the clothing around her felt too restricting causing his hand to sneak under the skirt of her dress. A satisfied sigh brushed against her lips feeling how warm her bare skin felt against his own almost lulling to a transient relaxation. Like nothing could go wrong at this moment.

“We can’t do that under a minute.” Belle giggled, noses nudging against each other as they intoxicated themselves in each other’s breathy laughter.

“I just missed touching you.” Jungkook whispered feeling his mind far too blurry to care about putting up a wall and sounded more calm about this situation. He loved feeling her against his skin. So much so that he had rub his hand up her hips, torso and breast after sneaking out of her skirt. Every crevice drove him insane.

Her core pooled at the firm brush against her body, lightly touching her nipple before he gently grabbed her by the neck. Eyes closed unable to focus on anything else in the hallway even if she tried, her lips practically parting on its own for Jungkooks’ tongue to explore her mouth once again.

“Jungkook! Belle! Aunt Boyoungs’ calling!”

Jungkook groaned under his throat making Belle chuckle at how desperate he got from a few naughty touches in their momentary privacy.

Fixing her dress to make it look proper again, the couple walked out holding hands towards the party with a new air of joy around them.

Patience had always been one of this strong suits. A trait many men of his stature lacked so when he excelled at it, respect for him shot up through the roof. So why was it that he could not keep his hands to himself whenever Belle so much as stood next to him? Merely a day passed since the garden party and Jungkook had already kissed every part of her face whenever he got his chance in the morning.

It didn’t help that the woman had a talent in noticing when someone was literally trembling to feel more of her. She got ready wearing nothing but a thin, satin robe causing her slightly plump thighs to peek out of the clothing. The man had to physically turn his head away so he could focus on putting his tie on without looking like a toddler doing it for the first time. Even then he still pecked her temple and cheek when he stood behind her.

Even when she finally left for her work, her small goodbye kiss lingered on his lips for most of the afternoon which meant he had to space out for a few seconds during meetings before finally answering any questions or making any demands.

Then a call rung in his phone while he sat in a car on his way for a check-in at the warehouse.

Hoseoks’ name appeared on the screen.

Heart sinking down to an abyss, Jungkook answered the phone. “What is it?”

A sigh passed from the other side of the phone. “He came back again. I’ve sent him to you now. He’s on the way to the mansion.” Hoseok sounded just about as helpless as Jungkook felt when the two quickly ended the call not wanting to waste any more time.

Postponing the check-in, the driver took him straight back to the mansion a little quicker than he was legally allowed to but they reached before Jungkook could groan in frustration. He wanted to get the whole situation over and done with. Dealing with client was already frustration as it were on a normal day but now more than ever he wished he didn’t throw away his pack of cigarettes already.

Not that it was his fault anyway since Taehyung decided to ruin the entire deal in less than a month.

Once inside the mansion Jungkook saw the hooded man on his knees with four guards surrounding him in front of the dormant fireplace. Shrugging off his blazer he slammed it down onto the floor before stomping over to him. He spotted the mans’ blood shot eyes and chapped lips, skin glistening in sweat. When he finally stood before him, a deafening silence lingered in the air.

This was what would have happened. Taehyung on his knees ready to accept his bloody fate for taking advantage of his long trained patience. The man had the shaking urge to continue with that plan. It almost worked until he remembered the soft linger on his lips again. “How long have you been taking it?” He asked in a grim tone.

Taehyung hung his head, lips pursing together.

“I asked you a question.” Jungkook spoke through gritted teeth, feeling his final nerve being tugged at.

“Couple of days.”

“A week is not a ‘couple of days’” His fingers curled up into tight fists. “And you had the gall to ask for more? Did you even finish it all?”

“I—I didn’t ask for that much.” His voice was meek under his breath.

Jungkook scoffed turning around for a moment to catch his fiery heaving. “You didn’t ask for that much.” He repeated the statement in his own mind and felt the lava flooding past his control. When it reached the peak of the volcano, one of his fists swung across Taehyung’s face, a crunch sound touching his ears.

The male cowered on the floor, hands over his nose as blood trickled through his fingers and his eyes looked more bloodshot than before.

“This isn’t a buy and sell anymore, Taehyung!” His voice echoed throughout the walls of the mansion. “Do you even realize your little sister lives here now? Because of you!” Jungkook spat watching Taehyung struggle to get himself back up again. “You think she’s here just so you can continue scrapping drugs for free?!”

“You’re the one who made the deal in the first place!” He shrieked through his hands.

Jungkook grabbed at his hair, forcing him to look up at the male. Blood drenched him from his nose down his neck but it only angered the man further. “I only made the deal because I thought you’d do anything to make sure your sister was safe. Even if it meant facing the real world without anything numbing you out.”

“Jungkook…” He heard a familiar murmur from behind him almost making his stomach jump up to his throat. Before he could turn back to see, the floral dressed figure already padded closer to the scene, eyes flooding with tears.

Despite the ache in his heart, the male still let go of Taehyung roughly to limp back onto the floor. “Tell her.” A growl sneaked within his voice. “I want you to tell her what you did.” He gestured towards the woman.

Belle hesitantly walked and knelt down in front of her brother as he tried to get up again. Her hands held onto his shoulders just until he was on his knees as well. A sob caught in her throat seeing the blood smeared on her older brothers’ face. His blood drenched hands attempted to hold her somehow but only ended up staining her skin and some of the lighter flowers on her black background dress. “What happened?” She whispered.

Taehyung lowered his head, biting down his bottom lip to conceal a small sob.

“Tae—” A little annoyance flew straight to her head thinning her patience to near nothingness but to be the cool headed one in the volcanic pit made from the living room, she kept her voice calm. “Tae, please answer me.”

“I couldn’t—” He sniffled, gripping onto her arms. “I couldn’t do it.”

She pressed her lips together as the tears jerked out of her, streaming down her light berry colored cheeks. Immediately the woman shook her head before wiping them away. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” Jungkook argued. “He had a responsibility.”

“And you made a promise.” Belle met his gaze with a subtle tremble in her tone, getting off the floor. “Addiction isn’t just going to go away.” Her voice rung soft in his ears as she padded closer to Jungkook instantly melting away most of his fury. “You could’ve done the absolute worst to me, it was still going to take time.”

His eyes twitched a little feeling the ache on his knuckles a little too prominently, desperately wishing he took a small puff of a cigarette prior to this meeting. Jungkook glared back at Taehyung who already looked like he was going to pass out from the one punch before he looked at Belle. Everything felt so much better in these few days. He saw her smiling more often and playing around that now watching her face drenched in tears and her neck streaked with blood made his chest clench in immense pain. “He’s going to stay here from now on.” He declared struggling to keep his voice steady. “We’ll have nurses and guards looking after him until he gets better. There’s no chance of him sneaking out anywhere.”

Belle watched the male gesture towards his guards who grabbed Taehyung firmly and led him towards another room through the hall next to the bar. Silence plunged back into the room as the woman tried to meet Jungkooks’ gaze again. Even if she tried to form them, no words managed come out of her. She did not know whether to be thankful or just more exhausted about this whole ordeal; the ring around her finger now felt heavier than ever.

Jungkook walked towards the bar. With a loud sigh, the male practically threw a glass onto the table before roughly pouring some golden liquid to the brim and taking a generous swig.

In small hesitant steps she stood behind the counter. Grabbing a cloth and drenching it under a tap, Belle wiped off any residue of blood on her neck and arm.

“How’re you so calm about this?” Jungkook asked solemnly.

Who knew that simple question could cause a thick lump in her throat. “I’m not calm.” Fresh tears gathered at the brim of her eyes while she cleaned out the towel again. “I’m just tired.” She sniffled feeling an invisible but heavy weight on her shoulders that she couldn’t get rid of even if she wanted to. “Really tired.”

Jungkook watched her from over his shoulder trying to drink another sip to get rid of that ache in his chest again. A few maids walked out of Taehyungs’ new room with some old sheets and bloody cloth, bowing to the two of them quickly before excusing themselves. Once the room only consisted of them, he pulled out another empty glass.

“I don’t drink.” Belle muttered, standing next to the male in front of the counter.

He turned back towards the small fridge behind them and reached inside for a plastic bottle with some red liquid inside. “You like cranberry juice?”

She nodded after a moment’s hesitation. The right corner of her lip twitched a little as Jungkook filled her glass up halfway. “Thank you.” She whispered, gently holding the crystal before taking a shy sip.

Jungkook sighed leaning on his elbows against the table, eyes scanning the now empty living room. “I’m really tired too.” He murmured. “It’s not really 9 to 5 job like it looks, you have to—mold it with your personal life and let it run you until finally…” He held up his glass. “This kills you… Fun old life, isn’t it? Violence, alcohol and—”

“Sex.”

“Not really getting much of that lately.”

“Don’t expect it tonight either.” Belle took a more generous sip. “Maybe next time beat people up in a warehouse like all the normal crime lords.” She gestured towards the empty space in the living room. “That was the second time.”

He looked at the empty space again with an added annoyance before hanging his head, scoffing. “You couldn’t have told me that earlier?”

She had a tiny smirk curled up her lips before leaning to press a warm kiss on his cheek. “That’s what you get for punching my brother.” She whispered. “Too bad though.” Belle looked down at her outfit. “I really wanted to show you something.”

Jungkooks’ eyes immediately trailed down her form again, fingers twitching. “Showing me something isn’t technically sex.”

“Nice try.” Belle patted his back before leaving him in own heated mess to go upstairs. “Good night, Mr. Jeon.”

Once again he was left watching the beauty walk away from him and all he could do was take in every inch of her body and every strand of her hair until it drove him mad. If the alcohol didn’t kill him, she might just.

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mementomori-demimonde · 3 years

Text

Old Wounds

Hidden Scars: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI.1 / XI.2 XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX

Bonus Chapter (21):

Three years ago, you broke up with Miranda.

Or, to better say, three years ago, Miranda broke up with you.

After escaping Victor’s grasp and embarking on the flight headed to England, Miranda thought it was best for the two of you to be constantly moving around.

She easily procured fake IDs and documents and, as Mrs. & Mrs. O’Brien (so lame that you loved it), you checked in the most expensive hotels and made a mess of the room, only to be off the next day. Every bill was paid and the staff generously tipped, even though the money didn’t certainly come from your pockets as you didn’t have any: you found out it was fairly easy to transfer money around and trick the systems; at least all those hacking software lessons had proven useful, though you weren’t up to anything illegal - it was a matter of survivance, that was what you told yourself.

Life was wild and exciting, every morning you were someone slightly different while remaining the same, every night you got lost in the scent of her, only to be woken up by her fingers exploring your body.

Miranda was never satiated. And while it was only a matter of sex, before, there was something addicting, now, that flickered between the two of you.

It was something you thought was unbreakable. Something so rare to be born in such a hostile condition that it would be so hard to kill that nobody would even try to.

You thought.

Miranda lit up the day you reached Glasgow.

You could see her eyes gleaming, you could see her sharp fangs shining at the pale light of the sun as she dragged you around, showing you this and that, telling you about her childhood while turning a child herself, innocent and carefree and happy enough to be pulling you in and kiss you in the middle of the road.

You stayed in Glasgow for five months after that, because she thought you were both safe.

You decided to rent a small apartment next to the theater because, apparently, Miranda loved the theatre and you loved discovering things about her just as much as you loved watching her glow as she watched the show and the people acting or the orchestra playing.

You even convinced her to take yoga classes and, except for a couple of smashed glasses when she thought a waiter was ogling you, and an exploded pillow when her football team lost to the rigors, she seemed to have learned how to manage her anger pretty well.

Even her part-time job as a dog-sitter helped her keep her calmness, even to balance with the frustration she would accumulate during her other job as a consultant; of what, you never worked it out completely, you simply knew it was something to do with finance, probably internationally. Miranda didn’t like to talk about it excessively - the pay was good, she seemed satisfied with it - so you let her be.

As for you, when the first opportunity came out, you accepted it right away: as a receptionist of a luxury hotel, you had a fair amount of working hours, perfectly timed with Miranda, and you were able to bake breakfast for the both of you, pack your lunch boxes and be back before her to prepare dinner when Miranda didn’t surprise you, instead, with some take out and a lit candle.

She uncovered a nice, unexpected side of her, but sometimes she still was the scary old Miranda, even when it wasn’t necessary, to your opinion.

Whenever she acted bad, you served her a banana on a plate instead of a nice dinner you baked, to commemorate the first meal she had you eat. Miranda would pout, eat the banana in silence, and ask for forgiveness between the freshly cleaned sheets. This worked the other way around too, of course, with the exception that she enjoyed herself a little too much, sometimes, prolonging the punishment to something more than just a banana for dinner. Either way, everything was solved in bed. Not that you complained about this method, of course.

You thought you couldn’t be happier; but you thought you could never be any less happy either, and, of course, you were wrong.

It was a casual question you blurted out without much thought.

One night, you were watching a cheesy movie on tv, just for the fun of hearing her complain while she had her legs slung over yours, silently demanding for cuddles she would never admit to be requesting. As the couple on the screen kissed and cried happily, you said “have you ever thought about marriage?”

Miranda froze. You tried to explain that it meant nothing in particular, it was just conversation, but something in her eyes had changed.

She never answered the question.

Days went by and you could tell that something had painfully shifted between the two of you.

You tried to take it back, make her forget with some rough nights, just like she used to like it, but nothing worked.

Miranda wasn’t the same.

And then, one morning she was simply gone, without a single explanation.

After twelve days of waiting, you made peace with yourself that Miranda wouldn’t be coming back.

You started to hate everything you loved so quickly that even going out in the streets and hearing all those people talking Scottish made you sick, so taking the next decision wasn’t too hard, after all: you told Cecilia to mind the tabby cat Miranda pulled out a stray dog’s jaws and brought home for you to heal, vacated the apartment hotfoot and accepted the job as head manager of the hotel subsidiary in Rome, Italy.

After a few weeks, you realized the change was exactly what you needed: Rome was amazing, you like the people and, most of all, the food. You even decided to join a gym so you could keep eating the delicious meals the hotel chef cooked for the staff and when the weather was good, you went for a run, early in the morning, enjoying the sight of the city lazily waking up. Late in the night, before going to bed, you would flick your tear-drop-shaped dagger and put it in the top drawer in the nightstand, only to wear it the next day, because now you felt naked without its cold blade pressing against your leg. You dropped the habit of wearing it on your thigh - it wasn’t practical with your work attire - but strapped to your calf or pocketed inside your boot. You hated yourself for it, but it couldn’t be helped. You tried to convince yourself it was just in case you had to defend yourself - it was sensible since you had to walk by yourself most of the time.

All things considered, you fit in well.

Your apartment is good, with a nice view on the Tevere, the pay is almost double the one in Glasgow and you can allow yourself some treats, from time to time, whenever you feel too blue to stay in the apartment by yourself.

You contemplated the idea of getting a pet for a time, but you decided against it since that too would awaken sour thoughts.

You tried to date for a while, but nobody was enough.

Nobody compared to her.

Despite everything Miranda did to you, her memory was latched to your brain like a plague.

It still is.

Sometimes, only some heavy drinking can get her out of your head.

You weren’t on duty tonight, and while you’re coming back from a peaceful stroll, your colleague calls: there has been a great fuss in the hotel; he tells you about ambulances and police cars hurrying with the sirens blaring to arrest some psycho that attacked a woman in her room. A guy was shot, but you don’t register much about the events, nor do you ask for further information, eager to drop the argument and avoid some unpleasant memories rising in your mind. Guns, people attacking other people, blood… It’s all in the past.

Hurrying up the stairs and fishing in your purse for the keys, you barely notice that the door lock is slightly scratched.

You don’t pay attention to it, nor the way your key slides inside the hole, until you step inside your home, pawing at the switch, and the light doesn’t work.

Immediately, all your senses turn on, your eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, your ears eager to capture the smallest sound.

It’s the hair on the back of your neck that puts you in alarm. Rising for an imperceptible breath of wind, they notify of the imminent danger.

The next thing you feel is a strong arm wrapped around your throat, and a warm body pressed against your back.

The attacker clearly knows what they’re doing, but you do too.

Everything she taught you is stuck in your brain, branded on your bones.

In a flash, you lift your dominant leg just enough to grab the knife.

You plunge it into your attacker’s thigh without hesitation.

She - it’s a she - grunts in anger.

The hold of her elbow softens, her arm slides from your neck, her body moves abruptly from yours as she limps away, leaving you alone and scared, but in complete control of yourself.

“My, my. I am getting sloppy.” The voice sends chills down your spine. It’s warm, it’s smug, almost amused, and familiar. Terribly familiar.

Your heart, despite yourself, throbs painfully.

You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes from your lips.

“Good.” She says, “very good, m’eudail.”

Whatever doubt you might’ve had, now it’s completely gone. It’s not your mind playing tricks, associating a familiar event with a lost person, this is happening for real. Running away from England to another country, taking a new name, a new identity, rebuilding your life almost from zero has served you nothing: she still has found you.

“Miranda?”

Three years.

Three years you haven’t heard from this woman.

Three years you’ve tried to push it out of your head.

Three years of pretending it was just a nightmare.

Three years and she’s back as if it’s nothing, standing in your apartment like she owns the place. She does, in a way. Miranda still owns you, in the first place, whether you like it or not: it’s not your choice to make. Until Miranda decides to let you go, you’re hers. It’s inevitable. And you know, you feel it in your guts, that Miranda will never let you go.

Some exchange rings, some jump over an old broom; your ‘until death do us part’ was a carving in the shape of an M - not on wood or marble, but on flesh - and you wonder how could she be so scared of marriage in the first place if she, too, has made a promise for life.

She comes into the light pouring in from the windows: it’s sunset, and the streetlight has just been lightened up.

Like it’s no big deal, you watch her bend down and wrap her fingers around the handle of the knife and, with a quick motion, she pulls it out from her wounded flesh with minimum bleeding.

With a wince, you notice that her trousers are already stained with dried blood, mixing with the fresh one.

She straightens her back and bares her teeth into a crooked smile, her split lip glistening with droplets of crimson. It looks painful. She doesn’t seem to mind one bit. Her cheekbone is blooming with blue and purple, her throat bears a sore line around. Miranda wears her bruises as if it was makeup, proud and confident. And, oh, so beautiful like the night before she left.

You can’t help but feel concerned, which only adds to your frustration: you shouldn’t care about her, you shouldn’t feel so strongly about the blood running down her chin - she probably deserves it, and more - but you do care.

You watch her, powerless, as she stumbles toward the couch and lets herself fall unceremoniously on top of it, grunting as her bruised body slackens against the soft pillows. Her shirt is stained as well, her knuckles scraped.

“You’re beaten up.” You dumbly point out.

She lets out a dark chuckle and lolls her head back. Your eyes are drawn to the rhythmic movements of her throat as she swallows. You can almost taste the iron inside your own mouth - how many times she’s kissed you after a training session, how many times your sweat mingled with hers when you wondered if you were fighting or fucking.

It all felt so long ago and, still, it hurt like it was yesterday.

“Tried my best, but you can’t expect the featherweight to win against the heavyweight without a significantly favorable weapon. He was just a bigger psycho than me: came out on top, in the end.” Miranda murmurs, a smug expression deforming her features. “Victor, on the other hand-”

The name has your head spinning. His ugly mouse-face comes to visit on the blurry surface of your mirror every time you shower, the rough lines crossing your back are a distant yet a painful reminder of those days of imprisonment, confined in that small room with Miranda, uncovering her past, her job, her boss and his despicable ways. Those marks hurt, but not as much as it hurts the one on your left shoulder - not until now.

“You’ve gone back to work for him?”

After all you’ve been through, after all the pain he inflicted, after she promised to have him killed because he took it out on you, Miranda decided to still work with him. Betrayal didn’t even compare to what you felt.

How many things can change in three years? You lived a lifetime in two months, since Miranda kidnapped you. Three years, right now, are an eternity.

Miranda’s smile drops. Her blue eyes wander aimlessly around the room, stopping in a dark corner. They aren’t focused, but it’s easy for you to see the regret blaring in her lost gaze.

“It was what I am,” Miranda murmurs, her voice emotionless, “it was the only thing I knew.”

There’s a pregnant silence between the two of you. It feels like forever before you move your first step toward the couch, your gaze fixed on her as if you were trying to control a snake about to snap its vicious attack.

You know Miranda won’t move, not to attack you anyway, but you’re cautious when you speak.

“You’re talking in the past tense.”

“He’s dead now.” Miranda breathes out heavily. Her voice almost overlaps yours, as if she’s completely zoned out, not listening at all, unaware of her surroundings, as impossible as it seems. “I killed him, gave him what he deserved.”

The sheepish look she gives you is the sparkle that lits your flame. It doesn’t matter if Victor is dead now, the memories still haunt your dreams, and Miranda has gone back to work for him.

You feel cheated on, betrayed, and you still don’t know what she wants from you. Frustration builds up from within until you feel like exploding.

You would smack her and shake her by her shoulders if she wasn’t so bruised - and if she’d let you, of course, before succumbing to her strong arms and be stopped by force.

“Miranda, why are you here?” You would ask her to leave, tell her you can’t stand her sight… if only that was true. Angered beyond words by her persistent silence, you walk to her with heavy steps, until you’re in front of her, for the first time, towering her small figure on the couch. She looks frail, harmless, submissive, but you know she’s not any of those things. “Miranda-”

“Shut up.”

You don’t know how she’s managed that - if she’s pulled you down by the collar of your shirt, or hooked her fingers in your belt, or even hit the back of your knees with her foot - but you’re falling right onto her, like the controlled destruction of a building, collapsing right where the demolition expert planned. You try to catch yourself with one hand on either side of her head, fingers clawing the soft pad of the back cushion, even if it’s not necessary: of course, Miranda has caught you first.

Although ‘catch’ is not entirely correct. Her greedy fingers are grabbing your head, pulling more than supporting, and before you can realize what’s happening, her lips are on your mouth.

Oh, God, how much you missed her.

It’s not a nostalgic kiss, she’s not asking for forgiveness or awakening long-lost memories. Her lips are urgent, almost aggressive.

It’s like those three years never went by, as if a lot of things never happened: this one isn’t Miranda, but the mysterious woman who kidnapped you in the alley; she’s back to that unhinged creature that tortured you in the most pleasant ways, who turned a cage into paradoxical heaven where wrong was right and the pain was pleasure.

Too easily you fall back into the addicting spiral that bound you to her. You’re completely at her mercy, once again, with no power nor will to pull yourself out of it. Despite everything, you want more of her kisses, you want more of her touches, you want more of her, no matter if she’s rough or brutal - something of Miranda is still better than nothing.

Hungry hands travel fast from your face to your neck and, for a moment, you prepare to hold your breath thinking she will wrap her fingers around your throat to have you squirm in her lap, desperate for air, just to assert her total control, but you’re wrong. Miranda doesn’t stop: she paws possessively at your breasts, teasing your nipples through the coarse fabric - you hate a little how your body seems to react regardless of your mind, answering to her touch in all the right ways.

You always take minutes to remove your uniform, Miranda hasn’t taken more than one to leave you in your undergarments, confused and wondering if you were actually wearing something before she claimed ownership over you and your body, like always, like she was entitled since the beginning.

Her mouth travels fast, in tow, she nibbles and lavishes, sending electric sparks to your core.

You don’t dare speak, afraid that the spell will break, that you’ll wake up from a dream even though you don’t remember falling asleep, even if it feels real, so real, almost too real that you can’t bring yourself to renounce it.

The tip of her nose tickles the valley of your breasts when she kisses her way down your stomach and belly, her nails scratch dully at the small of your back, pulling your knickers down in one move.

You’ve never noticed how chill your apartment can be. Or maybe you’ve never been so hot before, within these walls.

Her mouth knows exactly where to tease you, her tongue touches all the right places and only in the right ways. Her body remembers everything, and at the same time, it feels new. She tastes you, pursuing the depths of you, almost as if she wants to drown right there and then.

Bare and vulnerable, you don’t even perceive the typical powering position on top of her; Miranda is always on top, also when she’s not.

You can only arch over her as she draws a hurried orgasm out of you, leaving you raw and trembling, your mind spiraling from contentment, nostalgia, and a deep sense of guilt and then back again, when her tongue doesn’t stop until she isn’t satisfied with a second climax, and a third.

It’s easy to lose count when Miranda is having her way. It’s easy to get lost and losing track of time and of yourself, it’s easy to set aside everything to chase her with your hips, desperate for everything and in everything.

She doesn’t allow you to catch your breath when she’s done. You barely catch a glimpse of her when she pulls away, working her jaw to relieve the soreness that has surely set in her muscles, but her eyes are elusive, disappointing you when you hoped to look at her and find the woman you know.

It’s just another confirmation that she is still somewhere else, at least in spirit.

You’ve learned to know her strength, despite her petite size, and yet you can’t prevent the surprised gasp that escapes your mouth when she pushes you off of her and into the couch on your front, so fast that you gape at the pillow below.

You struggle to adjust your head and tilt it to the side when you feel her climb on your thighs, her ripped legs grabbing yours with vicious force when she lowers herself, and despite being fully clothed, you can feel the heat from her core right below your bottom, where she sits.

You swallow in anticipation, shiver when her nails rake at your skin, and then, then everything stops. She pauses.

You feel all the tension leave the room like the fog lifting from the streets.

Her legs are looser when she shifts lower on your thighs, her hands are softer when she glides her fingers up the small of your back and they linger, for a moment too long, across your shoulder blades.

You want to say something, even say her name again, listen to your own voice calling Miranda while still striving to breathe, wearied by the pleasure her skilled tongue has brought you. But as soon as you take a small breath to speak, a startling weight on your back knocks the air out of your lungs.

You take a moment to comprehend that Miranda has leaned on the top of you, her chest rises and falls rhythmically against your back, her breath tickles your left shoulder and you blink at the fact that her cheek is probably resting on her carved initial, and not just by chance.

You mentally count three seconds in, three seconds out. Her warm breath sends shivers down your spine.

“Had to find you.”

It’s a murmur, barely a whisper, so small you even doubt you heard it for real or just in your head.

“What?”

You try to squirm from below, eager to watch her face, read in her eyes if she’s making fun of you in the cruelest of ways or not. Her voice has tricked you on many occasions… or not. Maybe it was her eyes. Maybe it’s better for both of you if you can’t cage into each other’s eyes.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, relax your muscles, stop your hands from scrambling in the purchase of a steady surface to push yourself up and Miranda off of you.

It’s better this way: she won’t talk, otherwise.

“Thought I could do it.” She sighs, her lips move on your skin, leaving a moist halo around her lips. “Thing is… that I could.”

“You’re talking about-”

“Glasgow.” She snaps. You feel her clenching her jaw tight. “When we lived together.”

“You’re scared that you could live normally?”

Silence.

“You don’t understand.” She huffs. “People like me can’t usually walk away whenever they please and forget about their pasts.”

“But you did.” You retort. “We were fine.”

Miranda chuckles. It’s a bittersweet one, and it ends quickly.

“I was doing fine before you came.” She clarifies. It clarifies nothing, but you don’t dare to interrupt, fearing she’ll just walk away for good. “There’s a reason why so many have failed. No one was able to ruin me while I ruined them. No one was you.”

You can breathe easily now that Miranda has rolled off of you.

You turn to your side quickly, eager to follow her with your eyes and make sure she won’t take the door and never come back after such a declaration. Rare have been the times you’ve heard Miranda talk in such ways and you can only imagine what is the prelude for: something fatally bad, or something impossibly good.

In the forced darkness of your apartment, the blue of her eyes glows at the dim reflection of the streetlights.

Her voice echoes in your head.

When you initiate the kiss you’re surprised she doesn’t pull back. She doesn’t even complain. She doesn’t grab your face or the back of your neck, she doesn’t claim the lead.

It’s startling, and it’s a foreign sensation you’re not used to, at all.

You barely register the soft rustle of fabric as you chase her taste and mingle it with yours.

And then finally you feel her hands on yours, her slender fingers reaching for yours and sliding almost perfectly in between, like pieces of a puzzle.

She swallows your breathy moan.

You haven’t expected your hands to be drawn closer to the warmth of her body. She lets her fingers move to your wrists, she lets them loop around the protruding bone there - she doesn’t squeeze, she doesn’t pull nor push - leaving your pads free to roam over her stomach, through the small crack of her shirt, gliding over the taut skin of her abdomen. You feel new bumps, new scars perhaps.

She squirms when you push a little too hard against her hip bone.

Or, maybe, she doesn’t exactly squirm.

You feel her adjust, raising her pelvis off the couch, but not to ease discomfort.

Your fingertips slip easily beyond the band of her high-waist trousers.

Miranda doesn’t move.

She’s even stopped the kiss, letting you decide.

It’s an open invitation - a request, perhaps - to touch her, properly, like you’ve been asking, for weeks, silently, before you decided to voice your thoughts and your feelings.

Everything went downhill from there.

Your breath catches, the long-awaited moment feeling so terrifying, now, that you can’t bring yourself to just stop thinking and follow your guts, your innermost desires, to claim what has been denied to you for so long.

Miranda wouldn’t have hesitated. She didn’t hesitate to take when she wanted and could.

Thing is, you’re not her.

You pull away from her in a blink, your fingers tingle with unsatisfied electricity when you hide your face in your hands.

“Miranda.” You growl. Your voice comes out muffled from behind your palms. You’d want to yell at her, berate her, but it only comes out desperate, you sound on the verge of crying. Maybe you are. “What are you doing?”

Her hands are touching your wrists again. She’s gentle. More than she’s ever been. She forces you to unpeel your hands from your face.

In the dim light from the streetlights, her eyes shine again. They seem full of unshed tears, but you don’t want to fool yourself with dull illusions that don’t belong, with every possibility, to either of you.

Miranda doesn’t talk. You know it, you can see it, there’s a whole universe of things she’s dying to say, and still… she doesn’t speak.

You let out a shaky breath, sit lower on her legs, your gazes locked.

“Miranda, what’s your point?” You try again, softer this time.

She opens her mouth to speak then, only to close it soon after with a frustrated sigh.

You can’t endure more of it. You’re too spent to keep playing.

Miranda speaks only when you push yourself off of her, trying to stand up.

“My point is- I’m done.” She huffs out a disbelieving chuckle as if it’s the first time she’s told that, to herself even; the first time she’s truly grasped the idea and made it final. “I’ve got tons of money now and I can leave it all behind.”

“Miranda-”

“We can leave it all behind.” She corrects. One of her hands slithers to the small of your back, pushing you down to keep you near. It’s confident but for the first time, somehow, it’s not possessive. “Start over, for real.”

You swallow a mouthful of sand. Your head is spinning. You even wonder if something has possessed Miranda’s body and has turned her into some normal person who is actually repentant and is willing to start over.

How much can a person change in three years? Does it also apply to Miranda? The rules of mortals apply to such mysterious creatures like her?

You’re about to ask for a moment when you hear a distinct mew.

“What the fuck-” You startle, snapping your head toward the kitchen. It’s hard to see, but there’s definitely something on the counter. A box, maybe a crate. With something furry poking out. “You brought the cat?!”

Miranda’s lips are crooked into a sheepish smile when you look back at her.

“Please?” She whispers. Her voice is velvety against your lips, so close you could answer with a kiss. “What do you say?”

Maybe you will answer with a kiss.

Maybe.

#miranda croft x reader #miranda croft #tfa #the flight attendant #fanfiction #reader insert #ao3 #archive of our own #bonus chapter #complete #four lines #hidden scars #old wounds #michelle gomez

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satoruvt · 3 years

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fanfic writer tag game <3

helloooo <3 thank u for tagging me @hannie-dul-set this is so cute lol

ummmm! i think i will tag. @leejuyeeon and @seokmingiggles !! and as always anyone else who wants to <33

peum ~

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

omg lets see if i can do this in order. i think the first fandom i ever wrote fanfic for was creepypasta LMAOO and then... fairy tail? then 5 seconds of summer, then maybe it 2017?? voltron legendary defender, detroit become human, monster prom and mystic messenger kind of overlapped, the arcana !!! then my hero academia, haikyuu, a Little bit of demon slayer... i think thats it lol

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

seventeen is all for rn, but i’m thinking of also writing for mha again and adding jjk!!

3. how long have you been writing?

oh wow for like... probably around 6 years? maybe 6 and a half

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

rn just tumblr, i used to post more actively on ao3 but i havent since i started writing for kpop

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

ahhh like !!! comfort fics!!! i think theres something really sweet in those unspoken feelings during moments you think you’ll never forget... the idea of being with someone and you’re just so sure they’re your favorite person, and then warmth that comes with that realization... wahh

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

oh it depends i think. for longer fics i like to plan them out, but i really wing it with like timestamps or shorter ones

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

ONE SHOTS. my god i fucking suck at multi-chapter shit LMAOO ive only done 1 series like that and it was so rough for me lol

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

hm how do i explain this... anything that makes sense? however long it takes for it to feel like the chapter/fic is summed up or completed. i used to worry about word counts a lot but now i rarely pay attention to them, both in reading and writing

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

if we’re talking about multi-chaptered, then the color of you wins at 17k !! in terms of one shots, it’s for now; forever at 9k!

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh boy. i think... anything from the last like. 8 months? my svt stuff for sure!! i went a while without writing in between like january-late november 2020, and i was worried that my writing would suffer a lot... it took a sec for me to get back into the groove of things but i’m feeling happier than ever with the stuff i write now. i feel like ive matured about the way i approach my own writing and ideas, and how i do everything, and my fics make me really proud. ive started writing within different aus that i hadnt touched before, or talking about different feelings or ideas, etc... i really feel like ive grown with this most recent burst lol, and i love working on them! i get so hyped up when im in the middle of writing or even planning, im just so excited to share all of it hehe

11. favorite request you've have written and why (if any?)

ah its been so long since ive worked with requests that i cant remember anything LOL

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

yes. it is comfort and content. it is the feeling of love. it is holding hands on a walk in the middle of spring and smelling flowers. it is the sound of leaves when a gust of wind blows past. it is looking into ur lovers eyes and feeling nothing but pure fondness

13. current number of wips?

fuck like somewhere around 20 probably

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i really like repetition (specifically in sentences if that makes sense??), LOTS of unspoken things (even if i picture a fic with an established relationship, i dont say it within the fic; and especially concerning romantic feelings, i love when things go unsaid and are FELT full force), i think a lot of detailed rambling... i really like to try and describe emotions and stuff in the most abstract and obscure ways lol i feel like it makes things a little more palpable and honest

15. a quote you like from a published story

im gonna do a few. Lol. firstly this long one from pretend people can unlearn:

“Are you…” Jeonghan starts, and when you look at him, his eyes are still on the city in front of you. “Are you ever afraid that we’ll fall out of love?”

It never occurred to you that this was love. It’s not like the love you’ve experienced in the past, not even close. But maybe… maybe that’s why you never leave, why you hold yourself back from certain arguments like it might fix everything. Maybe love is the reason why Jeonghan still seems to believe in you. Why he promises he’ll be the best thing for you despite always breaking that promise.

(Is it love, a voice in your head questions, or is it longing?)

It takes you a while to respond. “I don’t know,” you end up saying, because you really don’t. Jeonghan turns his head and looks at you, and you half expect him to start an argument in the middle of night, out on the street like this. It wouldn’t be the first time. “Would that… be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan answers, just like you. His voice is soft. You want to reach for his hand just to hold it. “You’re still…”

He pauses, like he’s trying to find the right word. You let him take his time, for once, instead of accusing him of the worst. “I’m still?”

“Everything,” he tells you. He looks so sad and you reach out for him because it’s the only thing you can offer. You think the worst thing about your relationship with Jeonghan is that you will always believe him when he gets like this, just like you’ll believe him when he takes it back in the heat of a fight.

next is from like there isn’t something missing <3

But you’re crying into his chest because it’s not you, and it’s not him. Seungcheol wonders if it was always meant to be like this, if the two of you were always meant to part or if something… if something just went wrong, somewhere. A bump that did a bit more damage than either of you thought.

He tries not to think about it now. Tears fill his own eyes as he presses a kiss to your hair because he loved you. He truly did.

“I was so lucky to love you,” he murmurs, voice a cracked whisper. “I’m so happy I got the chance.”

When Seungcheol wakes up the next morning in an empty bed, he’s not surprised. But the Post-It note that’s dressed in your handwriting…

Well. It’s over.

and this last one from only for you, i will dance !!

“This will always be our own time,” he says. “We’ll meet here.”

You know. He says it every time. It never fails to make your heart soar.

“Our thirteenth month,” you say, just like every time. Chan smiles.

He kisses you so strong you feel yourself falling.

16. a quote from an unpublished story

ahh ok ill do a few here too!!! one is something ive begun writing, the other is one that i’ve just been working on planning out <3

Smoke blows past somebody else’s lips and partially obstructs Wonwoo’s view of you.

He hasn’t been to a party like this in a long time. It’s elegant, more of a gala than anything. He can’t remember who threw it or for what reason. It doesn’t really matter, he supposes, watching you make conversation with the partygoers. They all have old money to throw around, the symbolism stitched into their suit jackets and red-rimmed heels; remnants of it left on tables and in the contents of expensive cigars.

You play them like you are one of them, tell them the right things with a silver tongue. Wonwoo always watches, plays the part of an observer. It’s impressive, the way you float around the room like it’s nothing.

Wonwoo observes; Wonwoo knows things.

and the second one...

"you don't know me," you respond. your voice carries no bite, just a fact, and joshua knows this

"i want to," he says after a second. "if you'll let me."

and he's asking permission to be your friend, to be close to you, something so tender and strangely polite

it makes you feel almost sad

"don't expect too much," you say, a little teasing. joshua only smiles

17. space for you to say something to your readers

wahhh thank you all so much!!! when i first got into writing for kpop it was a lot different mostly because i think... i was writing stuff for different anime before, and i had built up a big following because of that and my works always did like, really exceptional in terms of notes and feedback and such, and getting into kpop... has been rough on that end 💀 but i appreciate your support thus far, even if it’s small... i’m still working towards a standard that i have for myself!!! so please be patient with me, thank you for the support !!

also please find it in yourself to leave lil comments or any sort of feedback... please..... PLEASE... any creator ever understands this struggle please always try to do this!!! for me and for any other creator you follow and enjoy content from <333

#wah these things r so fun. cries #tag games #adi speaks

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fireinmoonshot · 4 years

Text

REBEL | ARMITAGE HUX x READER | PART SEVEN

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE RISE OF SKYWALKER.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX Summary: Armitage Hux finds himself strangely fascinated by you, a Resistance fighter and pilot, even though he knows he shouldn’t. You know that there’s much more to him than you see on the surface. Pairing: female!Reader x Armitage Hux Fandom: Star Wars Word Count: 4560 Warnings: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS, death mentions. A/N: First of all, thank you for being so patient in waiting for this one! I’ve had the absolute busiest couple of days after Christmas, especially with work and going to see TROS again on Saturday. I’m a bit uncertain about this chapter simply because I’m terrible at writing Star Wars battle scenes... but I tried my best and did a few drafts of this and now I’m just putting it up so I can move on to writing Part Eight. Anyway, thank you for all the love so far. I hope you enjoy this part – the longest so far! Read it on Ao3 here.

Armitage Hux has never particularly been a fan of hot weather.

In the hours he’s spent on Ajan Kloss, hidden away in the caves of the Klosslands and moving back and forth between your quarters and the Tantive IV – what used to be General Leia Organa’s command ship – he’s witnessed two spontaneous downfalls of rain followed by an unfair amount of sun, and the warmth that came with it was the worst of all. He really wasn’t used to it – on the Steadfast for the past few months, he’s been surrounded by a constant generated cool air. Here, there’s no such thing.

He shrugs off his coat when he sits down in your quarters, even though it’s the lightest one you could find him. He doesn’t mean to make himself too comfortable, though, so it remains on his lap. This is, after all, your place, and not his. He can’t assume. But the thinner shirt is much more comfortable in the afternoon heat of Ajan Kloss, and you don’t seem to mind as much about the formalities of uniform here, not like the First Order. He’s noticed that half of the Resistance don’t even wear their rank on their sleeves.

It’s refreshing.

–

With him here, now, you feel as though you’ve discovered an entirely different man. Armitage, a Resistance fighter has an entirely different manner to General Hux of the First Order. You’ve taken the time to study the differences in the silence of the afternoon while you wait for any kind of good news, though you fear it may never come.

He sits on a chair across the room from you and stares out the open curtain at the bustling Resistance base outside. The quarters that you live in are nothing special and were assembled quickly, which explains why you can hear the buzz of everyone still talking and working outside. It’s something you’ve grown to find quite reassuring, though you’re unsure what Armitage has come to think of it.

It must be a large change for him.

He still holds himself as tall and proud as he did when you saw him on the Steadfast for the first time, a member of the First Order through and through. He still has trouble allowing his emotions to pass over his face without hiding them immediately, which is something you assume he was taught. Yet sometimes you spot a vague smile on his lips or the beginning of a small twitch of laughter. Every time you notice something like that, you’re even happier that you made the choice to offer him your hand and that he made the choice to take it.

Perfectly timed, and just as you open your mouth to break the silence, a frantic knock sounds on your door. Armitage looks away from the outside, at the door and then at you.

“It’s open.”

The door clicks open and Rose stands on the other side. “Artoo, he’s found something. You need to come and see this.” Her eyes flick between you and Armitage. You notice how her eyebrows furrow briefly. And then she surprises you. “Both of you.”

–

Poe is standing alongside Finn, Rose, Chewie, Beaumont and Larma when you both arrive. He’s staring down at something on the screen in front of him, a small moving dot, with a grin on his face. It’s the happiest you’ve seen him look in a while. Finn wears an equally large smile on his own face as he sees you.

You lean down and look at the dot yourself. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Red Five – the infamous X-wing of Luke Skywalker.”

“Oh, it’s Rey,” you breathe, and then you laugh to yourself.

She’s transmitting the location of Exegol to you. She’s leading you right to it, and right now you’re more proud to be her friend than you ever have been.

There’s a smile on your face when you turn and look up at Armitage, and he almost wants to smile at you in return – if only because you seem so infectiously overjoyed. “This is your moment. Is there anything we should know before we follow her?”

Armitage stares at you for a moment, shock filling his system. You’re turning to him for information. You’re counting on him for the help you need. The others around you all follow your lead and direct their attention to him, and he can’t help but perk up a little at the attention. It’s been a while since he’s felt useful.

He doesn’t know just how much information he can give you. But he scours his brain for anything anyway because the feeling of being included is one he finds unfamiliar in a good way. Actually being needed fills him with hope, because after so many months of being pushed back by Allegiant General Pryde, he’d started to feel as though he wasn’t that necessary after all.

–

There’s a buzz in the air as the Resistance runs. Pilots sprint past you to change into their suits, fighters run to the weaponry to stock up on blasters. You notice people hugging, making their goodbyes, and you can’t quite believe that this is it. That after years of fighting, this is the moment it’s all come down to.

Poe gives you a look as he runs off to change, and just as you’re about to make your move to run back to your own quarters and change too, Armitage holds out a hand to stop you.

“Where do you need me?”

“Where do you want to be?”

He pauses. He’s never been in the center of the action. He’s never been a fighter – he’s always been the one to oversee the fighting. To watch on, to tell them what to do and where to hit the hardest. But he knows that he can’t just sit and watch on this one, no matter how dangerous. He can’t sit back, let you and the rest of the Resistance fight your own way out of this and wait for the outcome, whether good or bad.

He has to fight.

“I can’t fly, but I’m not bad with a blaster.”

It’s half a lie. He’s not very good with a blaster in combat.

You don’t see through it, though. You’re impressed, only you hadn’t expected him to offer to fight alongside you. “You heard Finn talking about the ground team he’s leading to take out the nav system? What do you say to joining that team and helping to take it down?”

“I say that sounds entirely acceptable.”

Rose runs past you, and you hold out an arm and stop her. “Hey, you going to the armoury?” She nods. “Can you take Armitage? He needs a blaster. He’s gonna join you on the ground team. Get him kitted up, I need to go change.”

“Yeah, but we need to go now.” Rose beckons him.

There’s no time to waste.

“I’ll find you before we leave!” You point at him, and then you run.

–

Armitage stands and waits by your X-wing – a T-70 X-wing starfighter, black in colour with flares of bright green on the nose. Rose had pointed it out to him when they’d left the armoury and he’d told her he wanted to wait for you. He’s glad he’ll hopefully be able to pick it out among the other X-wings on Exegol.

And you, you keep your word.

You’re dressed in the orange suit of the X-wing pilots when he spots you, much like the suit he’d seen Poe wearing when he’d walked past him to his own X-wing only moments earlier. It’s a different look on you compared to the muted browns and greens of your Resistance uniform, but it suits you – the look of oncoming battle. You look strong, fierce, ready for whatever awaits you on Exegol. He’s a little uneasy at the thought, but he puts his best front on for your sake.

He’s really never fought like this before.

“I got you a little something on my way here,” you say, and he notices you’re a little out of breath, likely from the chaos of getting everything in order before the attack. You hold it out towards him. “Since your First Order buddies took my last one on Pasaana, I figured we should start over, find a way to still keep in contact. And this is the only way we’re gonna be able to stay in touch when we reach Exegol.”

In your hand is a small comlink device.

He takes it out of your hand and then attaches it to his ear.

“Are you positive about flying? You are still injured.” He tries, once.

You fix him with a look. “I’ve done this before, remember? I’m fine. You are the one you need to worry about. You’ve never seen combat like this before, have you?”

And just like that, you catch him.

He clears his throat. “No, not necessarily.”

“Just… follow Finn and Rose’s lead. They’ve got your back. I know it. We all do. As long as you don’t have a momentary lapse and can’t blast the Stormtroopers… you should be fine.”

“There won’t be any problems there. I have blasted some before, you remember.”

You smile. He’d done it before, he could do it again.

Armitage stands tall, glances at your X-wing and then back at you. “You stay safe. I’ve heard and seen that it’s a dangerous business, flying a starfighter in an air fight.”

“You’ve heard right.” You pause, and then look down at the ground for a second, unsure if you should say what you’re thinking. But then you decide to bite the bullet and do it – because you know you’ll regret it if you don’t. “Listen, if I don’t come back from this– if things go wrong and I don’t make it out alive, which is a very real possibility, just stick with Poe or Finn and–“

He snaps. “Don’t say that!”

It’s the first moment in a long while where he’s truly reminded you of the General Hux you’d heard the stories of. The famed General Hux of the First Order, destroyer of planets, killer of civilisations. His eyes get darker, and even though he looks like a Resistance fighter with his brown cotton shirt and slightly messy red hair, you can still sense his upbringing behind the uniform, the remains of a lifetime on the dark side.

And all at the suggestion of your death.

Armitage realises his mistake too late. He swears under his breath and drops his eyes to the ground. He hadn’t meant to say it like that– he’d just wanted to stop you. “Forgive me.”

He peeks up at you through his eyelashes with slightly red tinted cheeks.

His eyes are no longer dark. His expression has changed from the harsh one to a softer one and you see the Armitage you know coming back. You nod slowly at him. “Forgiven.”

And then you surprise both him and yourself by throwing your arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

It’s a little lopsided. He’s taller than you. But you both make it work.

It takes a moment for Armitage to hug you back. It takes him off guard. He’s never… has he ever been hugged before? He can’t recall. But his father was never one for those sort of pleasantries, and he can’t remember a moment in his past at all where he remembers the sensation of a hug. But then he allows his arms to wrap around you and hold you back.

His first hug, and it’s you.

“I meant what I said. You be safe on that ship, Armitage. You come back.”

You pull away, but you keep him at arms length.

“I meant it too.”

Your astromech – R6-LE5 – beeps impatiently from behind you where she waits at the foot of your X-wing. Everyone else around you is getting into their fighters and getting ready for departure, and she’s urging you on. Time is running out, and goodbyes should be brief.

“I’m coming, Leefive. I’m coming.” You turn back to Armitage. “I’ll see you back in this very spot when we win.”

And with that, he watches as you climb up the ladder to your X-wing and slide inside. As you close the roof of the cockpit over your head and secure your helmet. As your droid slots herself into place behind you.

You wave at him as you start the engine.

This time, he waves back.

–

Your first sight of Exegol is enough to inspire nightmares.

The fleet is bigger than you ever expected it to be, and your first sight is soon enough marred by the starfighter beside you being blown to pieces. You swerve to the left, avoiding the debris as much as possible, and wince. You’d never thought this was going to be easy, but you’d had better hopes than this.

Below you, the fleet have begun to fire their cannons at you, and you fall back into the habit of flying your X-wing easily. After months of switching between it and Armitage’s TIE fighter, it feels good to be flying something that’s entirely yours again. It’s dangerous, but you’re filled with adrenaline as you dodge the blaster beams and fire back.

It’s not long after that your excitement is squandered.

“The navigation tower has been de-activated!”

“What?” Finn sounds panicked.

“The ships need that signal. It’s gotta be coming from somewhere.”

“They figured out what we’re doing. Call off the ground invasion!” Poe calls in, and you can’t help but agree with him – how can they take down the navigation tower when the First Order has done it themselves?

But Finn has other plans. The channel goes silent for a moment, and then he speaks, more confidently than ever. “Wait… the nav signal’s coming from that command ship. That’s our drop zone.”

“You wanna launch a ground invasion on a Star Destroyer?” Lieutenant Tyce says everything that you’re thinking.

“Finn, you can’t be serious!” It’s your turn to object. “You can’t do that! It’s too dangerous! We have to find another way!” You’re worried about his safety – and Rose and Armitage’s safety too. Allowing him to set foot on the destroyer that you’d helped Armitage escape from hours earlier was too risky… what if you lost and they took him back?

“I have no choice! I don’t want to, but I have no choice,” Finn yells in reply. “We can’t take out that ship’s nav system from the air. Give us cover. We gotta keep that fleet there till help arrives… we hope.”

You dodge out of the way of an oncoming blaster charge and your X-wing spins, but through the chaos you manage to hear two more words – not spoken by Finn or Poe or Rose, or even Tyce, but the voice is still familiar. It’s Armitage, and it gives you the boost you need.

“Trust him” is all he says.

Finn looks at him, eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and something passes between the two of them. It’s not admiration, not love, not friendship, but some kind of respect – they’re words Finn never thought he’d hear Armitage say. But Armitage nods at him once, and Finn nods back, and they know they’re both on the same page. This is the time to be brave.

–

When the landers set down on the Steadfast and the Resistance begin their invasion, blasters raised among those fighting and firing towards the Stormtroopers that have covered the top of the destroyer in an act of defiance, you try and look for Armitage among them, but it’s a failed attempt.

You’d thought he would be easy to spot, but there are too many people, too many blaster shots and you can’t get a clear look at anything on the ground, let-alone in the sky around you. Smoke and debris floats around you and dodging it as well as the attacks from the cannons is hard enough.

And you’re too pre-occupied with not being blown up yourself.

Below, on the Steadfast, Armitage fights against those he once trusted. He has to admit, it is rather thrilling to fire blaster shots at Sith Troopers and have them fall at his hands. From when he first did it hours ago with the Stormtroopers to now, he feels like he’s getting the hang of it – and he’s not sure whether to like that or not. He’s doing his part, though, and that has to be worth something.

He’s not very good with his blaster in combat, and he dodges a few blaster shots from the First Order several times. The near misses, he decides not to tell you about. He thinks he will tell you about blasting the Sith Trooper that got a little too close to comfort by Rose.

And you, flying up high in the sky above you. He thought he’d have a chance to at least pause and try and find you, to make sure you were still flying and not destroyed by the First Order, but it’s so fast paced and frantic on the ship that he barely has a chance to breathe.

His attention is forced away from worry as an explosion up above knocks the nav tower offline, and he stumbles backwards from the force of it alongside several other Resistance fighters beside him. One of them turns to him, grins and then whoops rather loudly, and he has to smile back.

They’ve done it.

Armitage holds up a hand to the comlink at his ear. “Did you see that?”

You can hear the excitement in his voice, and you wish you could see it on his face. “I saw that!”

“Nice one, Finn!” Nav signal’s down, but not for long!” Poe yells over the comms.

And then the people around Armitage are turning the other way and running back towards the landers. It’s time to leave now that they’ve done what they came for. In the distance, his eyes fall on Finn and Jannah – they’re stopping, looking at something, and then he watches as they run in the opposite direction.

Something deep within him itches to follow them. To do more than necessary. To help them in whatever they’re running away to do. But he can’t bring himself to follow the feeling. He’s a runner, not a fighter. He’d be more of a hindrance than a help. And he hopes you and the rest of the Resistance can forgive him as he turns and begins the run back to the landers, choosing safety over glory.

Any part of him that truly remained General Hux of the First Order, he leaves behind on the Steadfast as soon as his feet hit the ground of the Resistance lander.

–

It’s exhausting. The constant jump back and forth between feeling like you’re winning and feeling like you’re losing. And just when you think you think everything is going well, when the nav tower is knocked offline, when you start to gain the upper hand, things start to crack and crumble again.

The fighter beside you goes up in flames.

Poe warns Snap about the TIE fighters on his tail. He says he sees them. And then you watch him go down, hurtling to the surface of a destroyer… you’re yelling and you don’t even realise it – another member of the remnants of Black Squadron gone, a friend gone…

You start to wonder if you can even win this at all.

Another fighter close to you is blown up, and you swerve away from it, missing a blaster shot from an oncoming TIE fighter by inches as you do. Your comms are filled with the voices of the other pilots – they’re asking Poe what to do, and you see several other members of your team go down in flames as you hear them.

But what can you add? What can you add to make them feel better?

Nothing.

You’re floating in midair trying to catch your breath when Poe finally tries to find the words. They’re not the ones you wanted to hear. They’re not the ones you need to hear. But he says them anyway. “My friends… I’m sorry… I thought we had a shot… but there’s just too many of them.”

And then… another voice.

“But there are more of us, Poe. There are more of us.”

It’s instinct, how you spin your X-wing around and fly a little higher. You feel like the air is swept entirely from your lungs as you see hundreds of thousands of ships. They came – this time, they came for you.

The exhaust you felt from being whipped back and forward by the winning and the losing is gone entirely at the sight of the ships. Because you know you have this now. Your fleet is bigger, it’s better… and it’s filled with thousands of people from all over the universe who want to see nothing else but Palpatine and the first order taken down.

Poe is clearly invigorated by the realisation “Hit those underbelly canons, every one we knock out is a world saved!”

And you do it. You turn back and hurtle towards the closest ship, your blasters firing at the canons underneath until finally, they explode into a fiery orange burst of hope. You’re laughing as you dodge it and move onto the next one.

You’ve got this.

–

His lander is yet to move from the surface of the Steadfast when everything starts to fall around him, quite literally. His heart is beating fast from the adrenaline and he’s collapsed onto a crate in the corner of the ship in an attempt to catch his breath when he sees something out of the small window on the opposite side.

An A-wing, falling – free falling through the air, but it looks perfectly normal. It’s not on fire, from what he can see, it hasn’t been hit and– then there’s a flicker of something.

Armitage is on his feet in seconds, standing by the window along with several other Resistance fighters who have noticed something is wrong. It looks like… lightning. He’s never seen anything like it before.

He feels like his heart stops as he sees the familiar black and green of your X-wing following the A-wing rather rapidly towards the ground. He steps back, allows the others to crowd around the window, and tries to reach you.

“Do you copy? I repeat, do you copy? What’s going on? Are you all right?”

Armitage glances back at the window, but he can’t see your X-wing anymore. He falls back on the crate, heart racing just as fast as it was before, perhaps even faster, and holds his breath.

He’d thought things were going well.

He should have known better than to assume something good.

–

You definitely do not have this.

The screen of your X-wing starts to flicker. Your controls – you don’t have control anymore. You try and move your X-wing, but nothing is happening.

“Leefive, what’s happening? My systems are failing! I don’t have control!”

She beeps, but you can’t make out what she says. And nothing happens. She doesn’t reboot the systems of fix anything, and you fiddle with the controls inside your X-wing but nothing is working. Your stomach drops as your X-wing falls.

You try again. You’re falling – you’re falling and you have no control.

“Does anyone copy?” You call through the comms. “Armitage, do you copy? I’ve lost control, my systems are failing. I’m going down, I repeat, I am going down! Poe, Finn– Armitage, does anybody copy?”

The screen flickers again, and you suddenly stop falling.

Poe’s voice is in your ear like he never left it.

“This is our last chance, we’ve gotta hit those cannons now!”

You’re confused. You’re more confused than you think you ever have been in your entire life. You feel sick to your stomach from the drop, but your systems are back online as if they were never offline in the first place, and behind you, Leefive is whirring and beeping happily. You take a second to breathe deeply before you launch your final assault.

“Armitage, do you copy?” You’re saying the words before you even really meant to.

It’s instinct.

His reply comes moments later, and you breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

“Are you all right? Are your systems working?”

“I’m okay– they’re back now. What about you and the others?”

Armitage looks around the lander. “We hadn’t left the Steadfast when whatever that was happened. It didn’t seem to affect our ship. It just affected you.” He looks out the window again, just in time to see you whizzing past towards the ship. They’ve taken off now, left the Steadfast, and he’s airborne again. “I saw you falling.”

“I know. I know. But I’m good.”

If he says anything in return, you don’t hear it. You’re firing on the cannons, and then– the command ship, the Steadfast, the place you’d been on hours earlier and the place Armitage no longer called his home, starts to fall.

–

Rey joins you in Luke’s old X-wing as you leave Exegol.

You can’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face as you pull your helmet from your head, giving yourself some much needed air. It’s warm in your fighter, and you wipe the sweat from your brow. You hope you never have to see Exegol again.

“We did it,” you breathe. “Leefive, we did it!”

She beeps excitedly behind you, and you grin.

“Hey Finn, Poe– congratulations, Generals.” You follow the Falcon as it speeds off ahead of you and back towards Ajan Kloss. Poe had told you briefly before you left that he’d made the decision to bring Finn on as a co-general. And now, you were certain he’d made the right decision.

Without Finn, who knows what could have happened?

You hear Poe’s laughter as his only reply.

–

Down on the lander, flying beneath you all, Armitage listens in with a small smile on his face. You’d won. The Resistance had won, and he was on the winning side. Long gone were the days where he wished for Kylo’s loss and nobody’s win.

The comlink in his ear fizzes.

“Hey, Armitage. You hearing this?”

“I am very much hearing this.”

“I’ll see you back on Ajan Kloss, right? The same place as before?”

Armitage nods, and then realises you can’t see him. “I’ll be waiting.”

Your face breaks out into a grin. “Not if I get there first.”

He has no chance.

The comms go out again, and he allows himself a moment to think about how it feels to hear your voice again – this time not frantic or rushed from the chaos of the fight. But just calm, relieved. There’s an edge of excitement in your voice and Armitage likes hearing it.

He had his doubts about the Resistance’s win. When you’d said you’d see him back on Ajan Kloss when they won, he’d walked away unsure if he would see you or Ajan Kloss again. But now, as the lander picks up speed and begins the journey back, he knows he will. He knows that Allegiant General Pryde is dead. He knows that the First Order is as good as. He is all that remains. And he is better than what they became.

–

TAG LIST: @agirlinherhead, @songforhema, @sleep-paralysis-demon @midgardian-witch @capcrayon @redsacrament @wlucyw @the-dream-catch3r @petalduck @hopesxxhigh @treblebeth @burritonee @acaprioglino @rebelspykim @iwritefanficnotprophecies @ahsfan23 @erys-targaryen @tazzclegane @ibikus @seafrost-fangirl @percivalgravs @chewle @j1224 @livy1391 @drowsebaby @lafy-taffy

(To be tagged, just send me a message or drop a reply. I’ll do my best to check the replies on posts so I don’t miss anyone wanting to be tagged! If you’re bolded, it won’t let me tag you!)

#rebel #star wars #armitage hux #armitage hux x reader #star wars x reader #general hux x you #general hux x reader #armitage hux x you #hux #tros #the rise of skywalker #i'm running out of gifs

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brutal-out-here · 3 years

Text

My mom just came sat on my bed and asked "do you need to talk to someone" and "we worry because you sit in your room all day". And "its about time we go through ur phone"

And im just sitting here 👁_👁 because 1. Ive sat in this room for over 3 years now and why is it suddenly concerning 2. Y'all are suddenly acting like im depressed or something when I literally haven't changed at all!? 3. Yay back on this phone sh*t for no reason even though clearly ive been fine without yall going through everything the past 4 years

Like i understand being concerned if your kid starts acting weird but i haven't changed at all personality wise/mood wise really, so!? And actually ive been happier in the last year/few months than ive ever been before!? (Literally due to me finding a ton of really good shows lol)

Im just overly confused

#raineyrambles #parents are weird #time to go hide tiktok in fear

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buckybabybaby · 4 years

Text

Mr Hollywood (Epilogue Part IV)

Final Part!

Summary: Bucky Barnes, an underpaid teaching assistant in a small English village, dreams of a movie career back in his home country of America. He finally gets the break he's always wanted, and if it wasn't for you, his best friend, he wouldn't have been able to take it.

But is that fact enough to save your friendship when it's tested by the pressures of Hollywood?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word count: 2085

Chapter summary: Do you hear wedding bells?

A/n: The final, final, part, I promise!

(If the picture is all blurry, opening it in a new tab in browser helps!)

Warnings: Just fluff. But if you really don't like the idea of getting married, this is not for you.

Previous: Epilogue Part III

Mr Hollywood Masterlist | Main Masterlist

*****

“Bucky? What is up with you tonight?”

“What d'ya mean?”

“You keep fidgeting.”

“Sorry.”

He shifts beside you again before stilling, and you settle back against him to continue watching the movie, cuddling into his warmth, a small smile on your face as he pulls you closer.

It's been so nice having him home for the past few months.

After filming on his début show wrapped following it's forth season, he was inundated with offers of work, and he'd flown back especially to announce his new role was in a British series, filmed mostly on location only a few miles down the road. You had tried to protest, not wanting him to sacrifice his career for you, but when he'd explained it really was the best move, in every sense, you'd been thrilled.

Now, you can't imagine not spending your free time with him.

The weekends are just like they used to be, at the diner, or picnics by the river, sometimes lunch at the local garden centre as you buy yet another packet of seeds, what is different however are the crowds Bucky draws. The public are now aware of the nature of your relationship with him, and whilst he tries to be inconspicuous the two of you together are far too recognisable.

At first he hadn't been keen to subject you to the attention, and the potential backlash, but the number of times he had been wrongly linked to yet another actor was growing out of control, and he felt he had to do something to quash all the rumours.

“I never want you to doubt what we have,” Bucky had said when he told you his plan.

In order to cause as little fuss as possible, one afternoon in the winter just after you got together, he'd posted a picture of you and him at the Hollywood sign, with a simple caption, 'my world'. He had warned you beforehand that not everyone on the internet would be positive, especially when they learnt he's not 'available', but you knew it was for the best.

The general reaction wasn't nearly as bad as you feared. Isabella and her little friends belief that you and Bucky would one day be married appears to have been commonly held within the school, as when you went in on the Monday after his big declaration no one batted an eye. They clearly either thought you two were already together, or were not in the least surprised that it had finally happened, and aside from Edwin's spontaneous hug in congratulations, which caught you off guard in the nicest way, the day passed as any other would.

Even when the press turned up at the front gate, desperate to get a picture of the one who'd stolen the heart of Hollywood's favourite darling. Peggy 'no nonsense' Carter saw to them, and armed with laws and regulations around the sharing of photographs of children, before the morning break they'd been scared away. She also accompanied you home that evening to ensure there weren't any lingering around, wanting to make sure your home was still a safe space, somewhere to escape back to when everything became too much.

Eventually it all died down, and Bucky looks so much happier now he can talk openly about you in interviews, not having to dodge around the subject. Will you ever get used to seeing your name on celebrity gossip sites? Probably not, but it's just part of the crazy roller-coaster that is life with Bucky, and no matter how nasty the journalists can get you know it's all worth it.

By his side you can get through anything.

Back in the present he squirms next to you again, knocking into you as he adjusts his position.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes.” Looking over at you, he smiles tightly. “Well, maybe. I'm not sure yet.”

Frowning, you pause the movie to give him your full attention. “Anything I can do?”

“Whether everything is okay kinda depends on you,” He says quietly.

Tilting your head as you watch the way he wipes his palms down his thighs, you wonder what's got him so worked up. Now you're thinking about it, you realise he hasn't relaxed properly all evening, despite showering and changing into his pyjamas, he's been paying more attention to tending the fire than enjoying the film. Sitting up, you gently remove his arm from around you so you can rise from your slouched position and get a proper look at his face. It's almost the same look of mild terror he wore four years ago in New York's Central Park, when you had both tripped your way through declarations of love, just before your very first kiss.

It clicks. There's only one reason he'd look like that now.

“Bucky, I know what this is.”

He blinks up at you. “Oh yeah?” He asks, voice high.

“Yes, and you don't need to be so nervous. We've talked about this.”

“I still want...” He trails off, his gaze slipping to the dying embers in the fireplace.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm.”

“I love you, you know?”

His face softens at your declaration. “Yeah. I do.”

“And you know there's no proper way to do this, no perfect way, and no way to mess it up either.

“I know. I just want it to be special for you. Please let me try at least.”

“All right.” You sit back in your seat, buzzing with anticipation as he collect his thoughts. Licking his lips, he takes a shaky breath, looking back across at you as he begins to speak.

“Y/N. My love. My best friend. These four years have been everything I've ever wanted, and even before then, your friendship completely changed me, for the better I hope. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground.”

“You're the sole reason I'm where I am today, and without you I'd be lost. I knew you were someone special from the moment we first met, outside the school gates. Do you remember?

“'Course. Mrs Jenkins hasn't been able to look me in the eye since.”

He laughs brightly. “Well, you were very quick to shut her down when she asked if I even had the right qualifications to teach.”

“I wasn't too snappy, was I?”

“Nah. My Y/N? Never.” His manner turns serious again, sitting up straight and maintaining eye contact. “I want to thank you Y/N. Thank you believing in me when I didn't. Thank you for giving me the confidence to keep going. And thank you for always being there, for forgiving me despite giving you every reason not to. I couldn't live in this world without you.”

“I couldn't live without you either Bucky,” You croak, your emotions getting the better of you. Reaching across to squeeze your thigh, he waits for your gazes to meet again before continuing. “Which brings me to a very important question.”

You nod encouragingly, grinning through the gathering tears.

“I'm gonna do this bit properly, so,” He slides off the sofa, kneeling before you and taking hold of your left hand, his own eyes watering as he peers up at you. “Y/N Y/L/N, light of my life, most beautiful person I've ever met, will you do me the honour of marry-”

“Yes!”

“-ing me?” He finishes, even as you're pulling him up to kiss clumsily. Knocked off balance by your enthusiasm, he ends up crushing you into the cushions, his body relaxing against yours when you refuse to let go.

Bucky always kisses you like he doesn't know when he'll next get a chance, and this time is no different. Tongues find each other as you hook one of your legs over his hips, the taste of salt from both of your tears only making the moment sweeter as you gasp into each others mouths, fingers lacing above your head as you try to get as close as possible.

Breaking away at length to breathe, you sigh contentedly, running your fingers through Bucky's hair as he traces his own along your sides.

“Didn't ever imagine you'd propose to me in your pyjamas,” You murmur after a minute or two.

“Sorry! If you want-”

“Bucky, shush. I'm teasing. This is perfect.”

He presses a kiss to your knuckles. “I'm sorry I haven't got a ring either.”

“That's all right too. With my job I wouldn't wear it often anyway.”

“But I will get you one. Gotta do it properly, every little detail.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

To prevent him from promising anything more extravagant, you lean up to touch your lips to his, softer now the initial elation has dimmed slightly into comfortable bliss. His body is still trembling with the pent up nerves, making your heart skip, so in love with this man you could explode.

“Was it really that scary for you to ask me to marry you?”

“Yes,” He laughs, resting his head against your neck.

“Golden Globe winning Bucky Barnes was scared to ask little ol' primary school teacher Y/N to marry him?”

“Technically, it was James Barnes who won the Golden Globe. Bucky is just your boyfriend-”

“Fiancé.”

“-Fiancé, who still can't believe he's got this lucky, so yes, I was scared.”

“You knew what I was going to say, though?”

“It wasn't so much your answer I was scared of, just making sure I got it right for you.”

Melting under him at his words, you let him trail his lips down your throat as your mind wanders to the big day.

“Oh!”

“What?” Bucky asks, not lifting his head off your shoulder.

“I was just thinking about how many flower girls and boys we're going to have to have. Amelia and Benjamin, obviously. Edwin and Ana's children, even Spencer, he's old enough isn't he? Or he will be by the time it happens. Isabella is almost too old now she's twelve, nearly a teenager.”

He chuckles at your rambling. “You know she'll still want to be one. It's all she ever asks me about when you're not in the room.”

“Really?”

“All the time.”

“Can't let her down then. And what about your best man? Dayton or Sam?”

“Err.” Bucky pauses his kisses to contemplate his answer. “Now you're asking.”

“Which one will have the most embarrassing stories? Pick them.”

“In that case then, neither.”

“Would it really be that bad?” You giggle, squishing his cheeks between your hands. “I know everything already.”

“True. But does your mum need to? Or mine for that matter? I wasn't exactly an angel during college. Or at any wrap party, ever.” He winks at you when you stick your tongue out in mock disgust. “Don't act so innocent Y/N. We both know what happened in that bathroom at the NTA's.”

Releasing his face, you look away as your own heats up. “Dunno what you're talking about.”

Bucky hums, grinning cheekily. “No? I'm sure Sam remembers what he walked in on.”

You slap his chest lightly. “Don't make it sound so filthy! Nobody was naked, nothing explicit was going to happen. I was just happy for you.”

“Very happy, I'd say.”

Rolling your eyes as he snickers into your hair, you shuffle into the corner of the sofa to allow him to lay beside you, foreheads touching as you breathe each other in.

“We're engaged Bucky,” You whisper gleefully, linking your hands together and pulling them to rest over your heart. “Lucky you. Must feel like winning an Oscar, getting to marry me,” You joke, smiling so wide it hurts.

“Better.” Bucky says it so matter of factly, with such a straight face, that your breath catches.

“Remember to talk about me in your acceptance speech when you do win one, then.”

“If I win one.”

“When, Bucky. When you win. And I'll be right there by your side so you won't forget who to thank first.”

“Okay, if you say so. When I win I promise to mention how being your husband is better than any academy award, in front of millions of viewers and a roomful of fellow professionals. Should pick up a few 'ideal partner' points if nothing else.”

He beams at you as your body shakes with laughter, knowing that he is ridiculous enough to keep that promise.

“Seriously though Y/N.” His lips brush yours once, twice, three more times before he pulls back enough so you can see just how much he means it. “Being with you is like winning an Oscar every day.”

*****

A/n 2: This really is the end now, however much I'll miss them. But I can't just keep dragging it on, mainly because I've run out of ideas! I couldn't write their wedding for so many reasons, one, I couldn't keep it gender neutral as easily, and two, I just wouldn't know where to start! So just imagine it yourself. Sam is definitely gonna be there, along with Bucky and Y/N's entire families, Peggy of course, Edwin, Ana and their children, a guest list and a half, definitely a day to remember! But not something I could write, so this is the natural end of their tale... :(

So here is my 3rd (probably?) thank you note! It's the middle of February now and I posted the first chapter of this fic in the middle of June last year, a whole eight months ago, so if you've been here from the beginning just know I love you and thank you so much for sticking with me. This hasn't been the most consistently updated story but we've got there in the end! And it you've commented at any point, please know I treasure every single word. I write for myself, the story I want to read, with the sort of characters I would like to have in my life, so if anyone else enjoys it too then that it just a bonus!

I have another idea for a slow burn series, and hopefully it won't be too long until I post that. More Bucky x reader, of course ;) so if you've liked this, maybe you'll like that too! Stick around, basically!

Once again, thank you so much for reading! xoxo

Main Masterlist

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #buckybabybaby #Mr Hollywood

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veganvince-blog1 · 4 years

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Hey there! Today I shaved my hair and eyebrows for a few reasons, but I’ll mention this for now - a fresh start and regrowth in not only my hair and appearance but creating a new reality for myself, I couldn’t be happier! I started a life detox two weeks before the Sydney, Aus lockdown back in March, without knowing- and it worked out perfectly, a lot has changed in not only my life but yours and our entire world! I hope you’ve been ok, now is the time for your happiness as well! For me, I got rid of toxic life long friends, became vegan, started truly focusing on myself, getting fit, bio-hacking , be more in tune with my mind body soul, more family orientated, started journaling, taking cold showers and many more I may discuss in the future! Ive been reading self help books by @drjoedispenza and @jimkwik to name a few, they’ve really helped me realise I have the power to change my reality and become who I want to be, overcome fears in life and show me what we are truly capable of! The quantum field is real and I’ve experienced some bits of it through meditations, but that’s for another day! Day by day, week by week, month by month, I’ve been changing my life slowly naturally and organically with no force, I might take one step back but I’ll take three steps forward naturally. This new chapter in my life is about becoming a more peaceful and gratitude loving full of life soul, who is becoming fearless of anything I have to face, I’ve never felt so alive! I still make mistakes but I’m learning more than I’ve ever learnt and still learning everyday! When I cut my hair it was a joyful moment, I had a teary moment of pure happiness and felt a massive weight lifted off my life, I’ve been doing things to let go of my past but I think my hair was a big set back! I’m still pondering on a few aspects of my life but for the moment this is a major reality shift! I’ll focus on the rest when it arrives. If you read my life journey thus far I appreciate you and I’m so happy you found my profile, I hope you enjoy all the vegan food I post and aspects of my life I share with you! I hope I can aspire you to change your life in anyway possible as I know you can do it! 🥰 https://www.instagram.com/p/CGcTd1wFWAE/?igshid=ajub6jo6v91t

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sadcatsnturtles · 4 years

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month 2

its been 2 months since we broke up. or i guess since she broke up with me heh. it was okay at first but this past month ahs been hell on earth. especially these past few recent weeks. wether its her appearing in my mind and not leaving no matter how i try to distract myself or a dream about her out being happier than she ever was with me it doesnt stop. and everytime i hate myself more and more for that week that fucking birthday week. all i had to do was not fuck up and i did in all ways possible and now im here sitting on my phone refreshing messenger to see if she read my message checking in to see if shes been okay cuz god knows i havent been. shed been feeling discontent for a while with covid and her birthcontrol affecting her alot so shed been down and i guess that week just triggered everything and she unleashed. and borke me in the process a night before her birthday i had some friends over as my parents were out of town and i hadnt seen them in a while. I had no intention of drinking that night as i wanted to suprise her at midnight at her house with flowers and cake. but earlier that day we got into a bit of a spat and i thought it would help make her feel better if i told her i was going to show up later that night to celebrate and stay over. but then she told me she didnt want me too even after i told her i really wanted to. and that fucking broke my heart that was the begingin of the end i think. that night i got shit faced just so i could forget and pretend everything was okay with us around my friends. next morning i was way more fucked up than i thought i would be and could barely get up without feeling sick and i ended up missing her dinner with her friend. i offered to pay as i wanted to treat her for something expensive but she later on told me not to aswell. i asked if she was going to break up with me because ive felt like this before and she said she didnt want to talk about it. like yeah that fucking helps. i went over the next day to make it up to her took the day off work just wanting to be with her as much as i could but she was so off that entire day i just felt like shit and awkward but i couldnt say anything she had every right to feel the way she did. so when it all went down a few days later that weekend i couldnt stop crying like ive never cried more in my life or even cried at all so long as i can remeber. it just all kept coming out weep after weep. id start to stop but then shed do something cuute with a plushy and the floodgates would release and back to a rainshow. that was the worst breakup i had and not even for any bad reasons just becuase of alll the memories and how much i loved her and still do love her. i still have a little plush on my desk she gave me that matches with one she has and i cant bring myslef to move it nor do i want too. means too much to me. ive tried drowning myself in my hobbies but there only so far that can go before i get sick of it or am just too depressed to do anythign at all. i know breakups arent easy and never will be but ive never had one stick like this. i have zero bad things to say about her like if we could get back together id be so happy but would this happen again? am i only missing her becuase of my lack of friends and quarentine preventing me from doing anything that used to make me happy? ive got all these stuipid dating apps but whenerv i get a match i rarely get replies like what the fucking point in that. all i want right now is to be in eachothers arms and sovid to be over. without covid none of this would have happened. i guess now that i think about it the only negative thing i can say about her is that i was dissapointed she couldnt realise covid was affecting both of us just i was better at hiding it and accepting it where as she let it get to her and not make the best out of a sitution like i do. im so fucking lonely and honestlky never thought i would ever end up writing something on tumblr but here i am feeling as low as i have ever felt and theres nothing i can do about it. live sucks and then you die. thats about the only thing i learnt in highschool and the older i get the mroe it applies.

#breakup #covidsucks #relationship #depresed

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p4nkow · 5 years

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Happier - part V

I know things are evolving very slowly but I promise next part is gonna be worth the wait ☕️

I always have so much fun writing the scenes with the boys so I hope you enjoy as much as I did. It can also be read as Ben!Roger and please let me know what you think! My dms and inbox are always open

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

Summary: you work as an assistant at EMI and you meet Roger while organising Queen’s gig at Hyde Park. lots of fluff but then, after months of relationship, Roger admits something that breaks your heart and the two of you break up. You try to move on and so does he, but after two months of being apart you meet at a pub and you both have a date. What will happen? But most importantly, will you and Roger fall in love again after being forced to see each other everyday?

“It might be useful” Brian said while giving a look at the recording studio.

You‘d been in Montreux for two days by now. The flight had seemed endless and you spent most of it trying to plan the upcoming tour; Freddie had helped you out with it, even though there still were a lot of things to take care of.

And then there was also the album release party to plan, which according to Freddie would have been the most outrageous party ever. And that terrified you.

You narrowed your brows by looking closely at the building— it was a pretty different place compared to the Rockfield Studios. Modern, even.

“What for?”

He shrugged and the gentle breeze led some strikes of his curly hair in front of his face. “Maybe we won’t argue a lot here. Y’know, being far from home and all that stuff.”

You sighed as you thought that it was a pretty impossible thing to happen and you followed him inside the studios.

The rest of boys were already there, chatting close to the recording room. RT, who was now a friend of the band rather than their producer, was busy with the sound board but you were pretty sure he was just trying to ignore them. Veronica was nowhere to be seen and you already missed her.

“Oh great, you finally remembered we’re here to record an album.” Roger didn’t miss the chance to snide remarks to Brian, who answered by giving him a death stare.

You couldn’t help but think that Roger had broken up with Nicole, but why? He seemed happy with her.

“Y/N, darling, don’t you think it might be easier for us to record Don’t stop me now first? Brian’s booty song—”

Brian rolled his eyes at Freddie’s words. “Fat bottomed girls.”

“Yeah, that one might take us a little longer.”

John gave him an annoyed look. “Says the one who wants a section of his bicycles song to be composed only by the sound of bicycle bells.”

“From what I’ve heard during rehearsals Don’t stop me now might be the best choice as first piece to record, yeah.” You said by agreeing with Freddie and John nodded at you.

You felt Roger’s gaze on you but as soon as you looked back at him he looked away. You raised your brows and took a deep sigh, looking around you in order to try to find something to do.

“RT, we’ve got our song!” Freddie announced to the producer, who nodded at his words.

“‘kay, let’s start with the basic track then. Y/N, I might need some help. Take a seat here” He nodded towards a stool next to him and you quickly sat down, excited that you might be useful in the whole process.

As everyone entered the recording room you heard Freddie say “I’ve spotted a pub down the road, seems very lovely. Anyone in for a quick stop by later?”

“Don’t count on me” John quickly replied and you weren’t surprised by his words. With Veronica here in Montreux there was no way he’d leave her side.

Freddie nodded and gave Brian and Roger a questioning look. “Yeah, why not” Brian said as he put his Red Special on his shoulder.

Roger took his seat behind the drums and looked at you. He shrugged as to answer Freddie’s question and said “I think I’ll pass.”

You raised your brows in disbelief and so did Freddie. “That’s a news.”

“I’m just not up for a party tonight.” Roger twirled his drumstick and put his headphones on, sign that the conversation was over.

“Ah, heartbreaks” Freddie murmured while giving a look at the lyric of the song and you quickly looked away.

You felt like a knot on your throat— did he feel the same way when he broke up with you?

Freddie’s voice brought you back to reality. “Why can’t it be Mercury?”

Brian narrowed his eyes at Freddie’s question. “What?”

“The line I’m a rocketship on my way to Mars. Why Mars in particular?”

John chuckled at his words but he didn’t intervene, leaving the spat to be just between the two of them. Roger sighed and rolled his eyes.

“And how exactly are you gonna sing ‘I’m a rocketship on my way to Mercury’?”

Freddie ignored his sceptical tone and started to sing “I’m a rocketship ’mma-way-t’Mercureh.”

Roger chuckled and rubbed his eyes, desperately trying not to intervene in that conversation. He exchanged a stare with John and they were both trying not to burst into laughter.

Brian seemed shocked by Freddie’s proposal. “Well, of course it fits like that! You ate half of the words!”

“But it sounds good!”

RT rolled his eyes a sighed, causing you to giggle. He pressed the button to communicate with the recording room and said “Alright boys, can we start with the real work?”

Then he turned towards you and said “I have the feeling these are going to be long, endless months.” And deep down you knew he was right.

The four of them started to play the basic track and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved seeing them in action, it was part of the magic.

Right after the recording of the basic track it was Roger’s turn, so everyone else left the recording room.

“Could you bring this to him?” RT asked you, extending you a metronome. You nodded and passing by the boys who were still discussing about which planet fitted better in the lyric you entered the room.

Roger raised his gaze to you and you shyly smiled at him, nodding towards the object. “RT said you needed this.”

He took his sunglasses off and you were more than happy to meet his blue eyes. “Oh, yeah thanks. You can drop it here.”

You nodded and before leaving the room you asked him “D’ya need something else?”

Roger answered only after a few seconds. “A good luck kiss?”

You parted your lips in disbelief and you patted him on the shoulder, causing him to chuckle. “Don’t even start, Roger.”

“I had to give it a shot.”

You shook your head and you walked out under his amused look.

The drums recording was always the longest part, not because it was a tricky one but because Freddie liked to try different things.

“Why don’t you try to do something like duh, duh, du-du-du-duh tsh!”

You let out a small laugh by noticing Roger’s confused face and RT gave you an amused look.

“Wow, that was a really technical explanation” John commented and Freddie immediately replied “Oh, shut up. Roger what do you think?”

The latter narrowed his brows and cleared his throat. “Duh, duh, du-du-du-duh tsh, I could do it, yeah.”

“He’s just making things up” Brian murmured, lifting his gaze from his Red Special. Freddie simply ignored him and exchanged a knowing look with Roger, who started to play again.

Freddie’s smile grew wider as he heard Roger getting his suggestions right, turning towards you and clapping his hands in excitement. “Don’t you think it’s beautiful, darling?”

“Oh yes, it really is. Roger’s good.” There was no need to lie— Roger was the best.

He took off his headphones as soon as he finished recording that part. “Was that what you had in mind, Fred?”

“Even more beautiful! Simply awesome, our dear Y/N adores it.” Freddie quickly glanced at you and Roger’s gaze immediately moved on you. He raised a brow and asked “You do?”

“Press the button” RT murmured and you followed his advice before replying “Of course I do, I love it.”

And Roger’s smile widened as he simply nodded, putting on his headphones again in order to keep going with the recording.

And that’s basically what you did all morning— Roger tried to keep up with Freddie’s suggestions while Brian and John tried to refine the tune sat in the corner of the room. You did nothing but press buttons every now and then when RT told you to do so, but you actually enjoyed mornings like these. You loved seeing Roger being so focused in his music, even though in the past it had been one of the subjects for your fights.

Veronica joined you for lunch and you ended up sitting next to her and right in front of Roger. You tried to avoid his gaze as much as you could while waiting for food but he wasn’t even trying to pretend he wasn’t staring.

“And how’s Noah, Y/N? EMI is going hard on him?” Freddie asked you as he took a sip of his drink.

You cleared your throat before answering “He’s good, but he’s always at work. And now that he has to take care of Ringo too I can’t imagine how he’s doing.”

“You dropped Ringo at Noah’s?” Roger immediately asked.

You raised your brows at his question. “Of course I did.”

“Couldn’t one of the girls have kept him?” You were confused by his behaviour. You met his gaze even though he was wearing shades— the brown ones, your favorite.

“Roger, you know Mary’s allergic to dog hair and Chrissie went back home to visit her family.”

“Yeah, right” He murmured and a weird silence fell over the table, until Brian said “I remember when Roger gave it to you.”

“Yeah, he did nothing but talk about that dog for weeks” Freddie backed him and you could feel your cheeks become rosy.

“But the name? Who would name a dog Ringo?” Veronica didn’t miss the chance to hold your dog’s name against you.

When you met Roger’s gaze he was already looking at you with a little smile. “We chose it together.”

“That’s why it sucks” John replied but you knew he was joking.

“What’s wrong with Ringo?”

“He’s a drummer, for starters.”

Roger gave Brian the finger and said “Fuck off.”

“Oy but do you remember that time we caught them making out in the dressing room?”

“Which one? ‘Cause it happened all the time” Freddie replied to Brian’s question and you fixed your gaze on your glass, blushing at the memory.

You heard a tap to your foot under the table and you raised your gaze to meet Roger’s. He had taken off his shades and his blue eyes were fixed on yours.

“I’m sorry” He mouthed and he was about to add more when the waitress arrived with your orders. You shrugged as you let the subject drop.

You were chitchatting while enjoying your meal when Veronica cleared her throat and said “Now that we’re all here...”

John looked at her with the biggest smile and his eyes were the eyes of love. “Yes, we wanted to ask you something” He said by continuing Ronnie’s sentence.

“Y/N” She said and you turned towards here, not having the smallest idea of what she might have asked you.

“Hm?”

“Y’know you’re my best friend, right? Even if I don’t like your dog’s name?”

You chuckled at her words and nodded, so she went on by saying “That’s why I couldn’t think of a better person to be our baby’s godmother.”

“Oh my—” You said as you tried to find the right words to give her an answer. “Oh my God, yes! Yes, of course. I love you, both of you. You too, little peanut” You babbled, standing up in order to hug her and John.

“That’s so sweet” You heard Freddie murmur and you met his gaze, giving him the biggest of the smiles.

As you rubbed Veronica’s belly with glossy eyes, John kept going. “Well we also need a godfather” John said in an amused tone, looking at everyone. “And as much as I love all of you guys, even though I have this thing to strangle you almost every day, my choice could not but be Roger. I promised you that, remember?”

“Yeah, buddy” He replied but you could tell by his tone that he was emotional just as much as you. He stood up too and hugged John, so everyone congratulated with the soon-to-be parents and you and Roger, the godparents.

Right after hugging back Brian, you turned towards Roger. He was looking at you with the biggest smile and without thinking twice you threw your arms around his neck. You were too happy to let the rift between you two ruin that moment.

He seemed taken aback at first but then he immediately hugged you back, surrounding you with his arm. It felt like you were able to breathe again after months.

He buried his face in your neck and you smiled— it felt so familiar to you, so right. “You’re gonna be the best godmother that baby could wish for” He whispered in your ear and you backed away in order to meet his gaze.

You gave him a big, genuine smile and thanked him in a whisper. That one would have been another adventure you had to share with Roger.

That night felt so lonely. You had called Noah to make sure he was okay and Ringo wasn’t causing any troubles, but soon enough you had to put the phone down. He had to go back to work.

Now you were laying in your bed staring at the ceiling and that was pretty much what you did for most of the evening.

You couldn’t go bother Veronica and John, you had no wish to be the odd man out.

You couldn’t bother Freddie and Brian either, eventually they went to that pub down the road and you didn’t really wanted to think—nor know— what they were doing.

There was Roger left, but you didn’t know if it was a good idea. Things seemed quiet between the two of you but you couldn’t just ignore the fact that he was your ex. And you were seeing another man.

You sighed as you let your mind be filled with these thoughts, rolling over the bed.

But there wouldn’t have been no harm in being friends, right? He was the one who proposed it first and now it didn’t seem such a bad idea. Moreover, you were going to be Michael’s godparents and you had to be on good terms to do so.

Without thinking about it twice you quickly got up of the bed. You remembered seeing a bottle of bobbly in your minibar so you took it alongside with two glasses.

You left your room and in there you abandoned your concerns.

It didn’t take you long to find Roger’s room but it did take you some time to summon up the courage and knock on his door.

You had no idea how things were going to develop from this moment on but by now the damage was done. You took a deep breath before raising your hand and firmly knock on the door, waiting for him to open it.

It took just a few seconds for you to hear steps behind the door and your heart beat fast when you heard the lock snap.

Roger seemed shocked to see you there, in front of his room, with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. He raised his brows in surprise but right after a little grin appeared on his face. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, after all.

Taglist: @but-legendsneverdie @ohtheseboysilove @xgypsy-witchy-vibes @queen-turtle-boiii @scarsout @hystericaldancingqueen @mercurycrowley @protectrowanwhitethorn @70sarreaga @loveandbeloved29 @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogahloveshiscar @queen-crue @luckytrashgooprebel

If you wanna be added in the taglist just tell me!

#roger taylor #roger taylor fic #roger taylor x reader #Queen #queen band #queen fic #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fic #bohemian rhapsody #Bo Rhap #borhap imagine #borhap fic #borhap

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ohtheseboysilove · 5 years

Text

The sunflower always finds its sunlight IV [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 300 K +

Warnings : language, sad shit, angst, eating disorders, fluff

Summary : Roger likes Reader since forever but the timing seems to just never be right for them. Reader is still haunted by her past relationship and kept rejecting Roger who know nothing about the abuses she had been victim of. After being rejected for the sixth time, Roger thinks it’s time for him to move on…

☀ Masterlist ☀

After how that night end with Roger, you felt better, more relaxed. You were still friends and that all what mattered. Things slowly became cool again, you were dealing a bit better with your eating disorders and Donovan’ shadows seemed less heavy when you were with your friends, you were happy, well the happier you could be with all what happened to you but for now that was enough. Roger’s girlfriend, Nina was a nice girl, even if you felt a bit left aside when she was around, she always had an amazing story to tell about her photoshoot or her model friends and again, she was always the one to catch the eyes of everyone in the room. Comprehensible though but it wasn’t really good for self-confidence.

Six months went by, Nina and Roger were closer than ever, he was always bringing her around and you were slowly understanding that there weren’t Roger and (Y/N) anymore, it was now Roger, (Y/N) and Nina but it was drifting into a just Roger and Nina. It was normal though, there were a couple and you were the friend, you put yourself in the situation so you couldn’t complain but it still hurt a little (a lot). Veronica and John had their first kid, an adorable little boy and today was Brian and Chrissie’s wedding, you were one of the bridesmaid and you were excited and damn nervous.

Your eyes spied Roger as soon as you entered the church. He was next to Brian as his best man as well as Freddie and John, all of them looking incredibly good in there suits. The blond gave you a wink as you walking slowly, following the rhythm of the nuptial music. You were wearing a light pink dress like all the other bridesmaids, holding the hand of Chrissie’s young niece. You grinned cheekily at him, your eyes lingering on his stylised hair, he looked very classy, hairs pushed back making him looking almost serious. He caught the amused glow in your gaze and ran a hand in his blond locks as he rolled his eyes, making you silently giggled.

You quickly took your seat at the first row with the other bridesmaids as Chrissie made her entry, her hands holding a pretty flower bouquet as her arm was linked with her dad’s. She was truly breathtaking.

After the ceremony, which ruined your beautiful makeup as you cried like a baby when they pronounced their vows, looking so adoringly at each other. You were a hopeless romantic and you had think about marriage so many time but after Donovan, these thoughts had left you.

“Congratulation both of you, god I’m so happy for you” Brian smiled sweetly at you as Chrissie wiped away some tears before giving you a bone-crushing hug.

You watched them leaves to open the ball, doing the first dance as husband and wife, your heart clenching at how lonely you were. John, Veronica and their baby were slow dancing, the little boys resting on his dad’ shoulder in the cutest way possible. Freddie were flirting with a handsome ginger man, his hand lingering on his forearm as he laughed to something the man just said. Such a flirt. You quickly glanced over Roger and Nina, arms wrapping around each other as they swayed on rhythm, loving smile covering both of their faces.

“Can I have a dance darling ?” You batted your eyelashes in surprise to see Freddie in front of you, hand stretching toward you. “Come on, I can’t deal much longer with your little sad puppy face” He grabbed your arm and pulled you between the other dancers, his hands resting on your lower back.

“I thought you were busy with the handsome photograph” You giggled cheekily your eyebrows.

“I was but I couldn’t let you cry over Roger much longer” He gave you a small smile which made you chewed nervously your bottom lip. “Don’t try to deny it (Y/N), I’m not blind, you love him darling. And he loves you too, I don’t know why you aren’t together but you clearly should be”

You stayed quiet for few seconds, hips swaying slowly as you thought about Freddie’s words. You knew he was right, you and Roger...you were meant to be but it wasn’t so easy. You were still hurt and couldn’t ask Roger to leaves his girlfriend for you, not when you weren’t sure if you were emotionally ready to accept him. If you were dating, you would have to tell him what happened between Donovan and you, secrets would completely destroy your relation if you kept your mouth shut. There way so many details which were scaring you, you didn’t let any man touched you intimately since Donovan and well Roger...you knew how active he was, even if he would never force you into anything, you didn’t want him to find you boring or worst, cheating on you because he had needs. These fears were probably stupid but it wasn’t any man, it was Roger, if things didn’t go well as a couple, you would lost him for good this time and that was the most terrifying thought of all.

“I don’t want to lose him because I’m not sure of what I want” You murmured and let your head rested on his shoulder, feeling overwhelming by the atmosphere. “I’m fucking broken Fred, I can’t bring him in my mess, he deserved better than me and Nina seemed to be perfect for him”

“Bollocks” He whispered back, his lips brushing gently on the top of your head. “I don’t know what happened with Donovan and why it’s taking you so long to get over him but Roger is in love with you, he want nothing more than help you see clear into this mess. Nina is nice but she’s not the one for him, it’s you and we all know that” Your lips quivered at the urge of crying was crushing you but you hold yourself together and sniffled quietly.

“I really like him too, so much” You confessed as Freddie’s hold tighten around your waist, bringing you comfort.

“I know, the boys know, even Chrissie’s noisy cousin ask if something happened between the two of you” He giggled lightly. “You know if you go right know and tell him you want to be with him, he would dump his girlfriend in the very next second. It’s up to you (Y/N). He won’t try anything else with you, he told us he promise to you so, you and Roger’s future it in your hands”

You sighed deeply and nodded timidly, again, he was right. When the band started singing a cover of one of your favourite love song ever, you couldn’t help yourself and gave the drummer a once over. The first lyric of Something from The Beatles echoing through the room, bringing a sweet smile on your face. Your heart missed a beat when Roger turned his head toward you, smiling too. How many time he hold you as you listened to this song because you were crying over one of you and Donovan’s fight ? Eating ice-cream and calling names your ex-boyfriend as you complained endlessly ? You almost kissed Roger on his song, you weren’t proud of that because you were with Donovan at that time but you were both drunk, dancing like dork into your living-room and the atmosphere changed obviously when this song came on. You knew he also knew what almost happened but you stopped yourself before your lips could have touched each other, you weren’t a cheater and most importantly you were in love with your boyfriend. Well, now you wondered if you had been honest with yourself and if a part of you had always been stolen by Roger. Probably yes. Nina’s head was buried into his neck and his hand was rubbing gently her back but his eyes stayed locked with your, both of you quietly singing the lyric. You simply couldn’t look away, eyes boring into each other and Roger’s gaze was almost...melancholic. Something in the way she moves Attracts me like no other lover Something in the way she woos me I don't want to leave her now You know I believe and how Somewhere in her smile she knows That I don't need no other lover Something in her style that shows me Don't want to leave her now You know I believe and how You're asking me will my love grow I don't know, I don't know You stick around now it may show I don't know, I don't know Something in the way she knows And all I have to do is think of her Something in the things she shows me Don't want to leave her now You know I believe and how

You should be the one resting his arms right now, you wanted nothing more than hold Roger at this precise moment. But when Nina raised her head and brushed a gentle kiss on his pink lips, you remembered he wasn’t yours.

You giggled at one of Brian’s anecdote from an old rehearsal as you took a sip of your bubbly champagne. You were at Veronica and John’s house-warming, it warm pretty warm and everyone was enjoying their pretty garden, birds chirping happily.

John was grilling some corncobs on his brand new barbecue, his son assisting him very proudly from his cradle. You were beaming today, for a very good particular reason, Freddie grinning at you as he knew what was making you so happy.

“Anyone want more sausage ? Bri ? (Y/N) ?” Deaky asked while he was putting the hot food on an empty plate, bringing it on the dinner table.

“Only if these ones aren’t burn” The guitarist joked and grabbed two sausages with his fork, his wife slapping his neck for the comment. “Ouch, I’m kidding. Deaky, very good cooking” The bassist ignored him and walked to you, handing you the plate.

“Oh, I’m good, thanks John” You smiled politely and pushed your own half-empty plate further on the table, proving you were done eating.

“You’re sure ?” You nodded and avoided Freddie suspicious gaze, praying that he won’t do any comment on your lack of appetite.

He didn’t. But Roger didn’t miss the occasion.

“You didn’t eat anything (Y/N)” You glanced to him and he was lifting a curious eyebrow.

“I ate enough, I’m not very hungry tonight” You shrugged and brushed off his concerns, focusing back on the bubbles in your drink.

“You just ate salad and you didn’t even finish it” He stated loudly enough to catch everyone’s attention. You felt like a little girl scolded by her father and you hated that feeling.

“I can take care of myself, thank you Roger” You replied rather coldly. He was the only one with Fred who knew you had eating disorders and exposing you like that in front of everyone, trying to make you feel guilty wasn’t working on you, at all.

You sent him a nasty glare when the attention went back on Chrissie’s story but Roger didn’t seems offended by your gaze, he just stared at you like he was in deep concentration, Nina’s fingers grazing on his neck to calm him.

“I’m going to put Miles to bed” Veronica said but you quickly stood up, seeing a way to avoid Roger and Freddie’s heavy glances.

“Let me do it Ronny” You smiled as you grabbed the little tired boy from his cradle and carefully rested him on your chest.

You waved his little hand to everyone and slowly made your way inside the home, breathing more freely as you were just with the little boy, his eyes barely opened. You put him on the change table and swapped his old nappy for a fresh one before sliding him into his night romper, earning a little yawn from his cute tiny mouth. You caught his favourite zebra plush and sat on the rocking-chair, the baby comfortably laying into your arms. You hummed softly an old lullaby, watching with an adoring smile the little boy drifting to sleep rather easily for once, you kept rocking slowly to be sure he wasn’t about to wake up as soon as you stood up. You mind went wandering as you were trying to not fall asleep yourself, would you have kids one day ? The thought weren’t too bad, not now, you were twenty-six years old, you still had time but later...it could a thing you would want with the right person. Roger. Roger was your right person and you knew he wanted kids, always wanted to have a passel of mini Taylor in his future.

“What do you think little Deacon ? Would you like to have a baby cousin hum ?”

The little boy was now far asleep but it was only making smile bigger, a baby with Roger...you still needed to work on your fears if you wanted for that to happen but tomorrow you planned to make a giant step. Tomorrow Roger and you were supposed to go on the hot balloon date and after thinking for a long time, you had decide it was the best spot to tell him your feelings. No Nina, no one else except the two of you with only a beautiful landscape as distraction. You told your idea to Freddie to stop you from chicken out at the last second and the singer had find that wonderful, fucking finally, that what he said precisely. Of course, you were freaking scared to be rejected but you decided to trust your guts which telling you that Roger was still into you. This was a nasty thing to do to Nina and you honestly didn’t think you could do something like that but it was an emergency, you couldn’t lose Roger, even if it meant you acting bitchy toward an innocent girl. You softly put the baby into his cribs and tiptoed out of the room, almost screaming when Roger appeared in front of you.

“Jesus, Roger!” You put a hand on your heart and ignored his amused smile. “What are you doing here ?” His smile fell and motioned to follow him.

You walked into one of the guest-room, sitting on the top of the bed next to him.

“We need to talk” You knew it was about the dinner thing and honestly right now, it was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Please, Rog, not now. Can we speak about it tomorrow ? I didn’t appreciate you little remark in front of everyone” You sighed and tangled your fingers into your hairs nervously.

“I’m not here to talk about that, but Freddie and I gonna watching you, love, you’re not going down this road again” He said softly, the memories of the few times when you fainted after missing to many meals were still deeply into his mind. You nodded timidly under his big worry eyes, feeling almost guilty to worry him. “I wanted to talk about tomorrow”

“Oh” Your eyes lit up at the mention of the hot balloon ride. “I found a map to go to Surrey and it’s not that long but I’m gonna do some sandwiches for the drive and–“

“We can’t go together (Y/N)” He murmured sadly, cutting you in the middle of your sentence.

“What ? But why ? I had been planning this trip for weeks !” You drew your brows together, feeling suddenly sick. He couldn’t do that now, not when you were finally ready to tell him your fucking feelings for him.

The blond scratched his shoulder awkwardly and nibbled at his lower lip, looking for the right words.

“Well, Nina thinks it’s weird for us to go there, as friends I mean...it’s too romantic and all” He replied as the disappointment took place on your face. “You know she is right, I don’t want things between us to be awkward again”

“But we always enjoy our birthday present together” You weakly said, not supporting the pity in his eyes.

“I know, love but...it’s for the best”

“You’re going with Nina instead ?” You asked with a strangled voice, god you were ridiculous and really to dependent of this man. The drummer wiped away a tear from your cheek, nodding gently as an answer.

“Why are you crying, love ? I didn’t think it would be such a big deal” He bowed his head toward you, looking worriedly at your watery eyes. You opened your mouth but shut it back, not knowing how to spit your feelings. “Talk to me (Y/N), what’s going on ?” His breathing was heavier, hope slowly crawling into his nerves.

“I...I don’t know how to say it, Rog” You murmured as your heartbeat speeded up, you needed to tell him now. He was waiting for that, you could read it in his gaze.

“What is it (Y/N) ? He asked, his large and callous hands caressing your smaller ones, his eyes pleading you to say it. You chewed your bottom lip, your throat completely knotted by the nerves. “Just say it, love, please” He slid his hands off your fingers and cupped gently your cheeks, noses bumping into each other.

His warm breath was tickling your skin as his big blue eyes stared at you with so much expectation that it almost hurt you. Tell him for god’ sake! Tell him your feelings! But as much as you wanted to say these words, you couldn’t do it, the bad memories of your past relationship holding you back to move on.

“You know it Rog, you know what I want to say” And just like that, the moment was gone, the blond smiled sadly and pushed a soft kiss on your hair.

“I don’t, love. I never know with you” He hands fell from your face and the coldness immediately replaced the warmth of his skin. “If you can’t say it (Y/N) that mean you’re definitively not ready” The drummer whispered with a sweet voice. “But it’s okay, I would never pressure you into anything but I can’t just...wait for you, not anymore (Y/N). I need to live my life and stop hoping that one day you will love me too, it’s killing me. So, I’m going back with the others now and if one day, you feel ready, you know where I live. But I can’t promise I would be free either. I’m sorry”

You looked him left you, closing the door behind him before collapsing on the bed, emptying every tears of your body onto the clean white sheets, heart shattering painfully. You screamed into the pillow, you were so upset. Upset about yourself to stay quiet rather than confessed your fucking feelings to, without a doubt, the love of your life.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But you were mainly upset about Donovan, you wished you never met the asshole who completely broke you. It had been almost four years since he left and you were still emotionally fucked up, scared to be involved with Roger because of what he did to you and you hated him so much for that. He ruined your life and you didn’t know how to fix yourself, how to trust romantically someone again. Why it was so hard to tell Roger ? You knew the answer. Shame. It was stupid but you were ashamed to what he did to you, what you let him did to you during years, how weak you had been and apparently, still were. You shouldn’t think that way, you were the victim in the story but you couldn’t help yourself, the fear was stronger than anything else.

“I love you Roger” You murmured in the dark empty room. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I’m such a coward” You hugged the blanket against yourself, body shaking with quiet sobs.

That night you decided to get yourself help. If you wanted be able to love Roger, you needed to learn how to love yourself again first.

Tag list : @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley@vanitysfairr @loveandbeloved29 @luvborhap @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming@geek-and-proud @fearless2tobeme @chlobo6 @stormtrprinstilettos @mrsmazzello @neckfruit

#roger taylor x reader

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