#and just general mental health talking

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[gideonisms]

I will admit I hate the trend towards measuring how Healthy fictional relationships are. they're not breakfast cereals! we don't need to measure the amount of fiber! even if it did matter how much fiber a fictional relationship has "healthy" is also a very general, vibes-based word for concepts that I think we probably should get more specific about

#here are some great words: 'consensual' 'exploitative' 'fulfilling' 'draining' 'enjoyable' 'painful' 'affectionate' #we can talk about the ways a relationship is or isn't working for the parties involved #without falling back on 'health' #i think that what is considered healthy changes based on the time period and in general as a queer person i do feel a certain hesitance #to just like nod to health without specifying what i mean given the complicated relationship between queerness and #being considered unwell or unhealthy by society/doctors/psychiatry #ultimately this is a small thing and doesn't matter because once again #if everyone in a work of fiction stayed physically and mentally healthy throughout that would be a very boring story. to me #it's just not the type of story i like so it doesn't matter anyway it's just #sometimes i'm like. but we all know there is no one simple standard for health right? right??

[utilitycaster]

I genuinely believe the fact that so many popular Imogen/Laudna fics are no-powers AU is, if not the main cause, at least a factor in why so many people resist or even are hostile towards any interpretation of Imogen that isn't largely sweet and harmless. Like, write the fic you want, but Imogen in particular is someone so fundamentally shaped by her powers that to write a no powers AU is to write what is essentially a completely original character who happens to share her name.

I think it's made even more obviously a factor because many of those fics try to reconstruct aspects of Imogen's personality by giving her anxiety or agoraphobia (or both) but the problem is that those are purely mental illnesses, rather than something that both gives her powers and penalties (again, the X-Men problem). Some real-world mental illnesses cover the symptoms of Imogen's abilities, but none cover the abilities themselves. It's quite literally a removal of agency: they take away what she can (and frequently does) do with her powers, leaving only the negative effects on her behind while eliminating the negative effects she can have on others. No wonder there's this overwhelming push to woobify her from that corner; they've utterly defanged her and are now crying that other people who can still see her fangs (and even like them) are talking about them.

And the thing is, for all I can be negative about fanon, it is, ultimately, fine - so long one can either keep it separate in one's mind from canon or else remain in a particular fanon sandbox. But unfortunately people leave the sandbox, and when other people respond to the canon Imogen, who as of episode 81 (RIP CRStats) has voluntarily used Detect Thoughts/Open Mind 60 times and has openly stated her intent to use it specifically to know what her party members are doing in advance and theoretically prevent it, the fanfic crowd is utterly unable to react to this intelligently. The idea of Imogen they have is sweet girl with severe anxiety and a goth girlfriend. The problem is this construct exists only in their favorite fanfic writers' domestic fluff modern AU no powers setting. And frankly, I'm not interested in talking about that warped mirror version of her when I could have all the fascination, complexity, glory, and agency of the real thing.

#i also think that turning imogen's issues into specifically mental health only is for lack of a better term Not Great. #i remember when she took off the circlet people on twitter compared it to her going off her meds as like. a sympathy thing. #and. while obviously the psychiatric field is not without many flaws and prejudices. generally going off meds is. not a good sign. #i will say i would love to see the no-circlet au in which imogen stops ashton. i don't think that goes well at ALL. #like i don't know if they stick around after that. #cr tag #anyway been thinking about the role of fanfic a lot lately in case you couldn't tell #we are finally admitting the importance of They Would Not Fucking Say That and should embrace it #and i'm obviously thinking quite a lot about the book i just posted about a lot too #it is depressing that people are more comfortable with Girlfailure than Selfish #that a woman is only allowed memeable and sanitized quirky faults. GOD FORBID she want actual power. #(were i to be called selfish by someone i respect i'd feel bad but talk through it. girlfailure though? i'm stabbing them.)

[uncanny-tranny]

You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

#positivity #mental health #mental health support #gentle reminders #this is something i struggle with myself so that's why i said i empathize (well... i guess as much as you CAN empathize) #(because even if you have gone through the same thing... it's not going to look the same as somebody else going through that) #(and while it can be valuable to express empathy it doesn't mean you truly 'get it' from the other person's point of view) #i struggle sometimes not to feel like my body is fucking with me because sometimes i expect it to function at bare minimum #or i just assume that when it is in debilitating pain that it's just... somehow to fuck with me and i am cognizant that this isn't true #i am cognitively aware that the body isn't Specifically Designed to have a Fuck With You mode even if it feels like it #but my experiences with disabilities and general unwellness made it easy for me to alienate myself from my body #in order to preserve myself i felt the need to separate myself from every flaw (or 'flaw') i have #so when people are confused about why you could mistrust your /own body/ it's stuff like this that can somewhat illustrate it #i think we don't really talk about this but i think it's more common than i would assume #(mostly based on the There Are Eight Billion People principle) #hm making this also makes me realize that abuse absolutely plays into how i mistrust my body. hm. #mistrust in your body feels like self-protection and self-preservation in this weird and almost twisted way (at least in my experience) #but then you start mistrusting *everything* and nothing feels... GOOD or NORMAL anymore #i'm going to play mahjong about this 🫡👍

[silverskye13]

Do you ever delete anything in your delete later tag or is it all a joke?

Yes. Frequently. Normally it's just with my art reblogs, but I will comb through and delete the majority of the tag sometimes.

Gonna be real honest, the Delete Later tag is there for my mental health. I go through periods of? Reckless depression? Impulsive bad vibes? Compelled destruction? [Vague hand wave]. Anyway, I've been known to scroll through my blog with the urge to delete everything. My original coping mechanism was tearing paper, but it doesn't scratch the itch the same way a delete button could. So I made a safe space to delete things.

Sometimes I decide later that I wanted to keep the delete later item(s), but 9 times out of 10 I follow through and purge them.

#answering asks #anonymous #i don't do it as much now because my mental health is generally better than it once was #but about 4 years ago 'make sure Silver doesn't delete their whole fucking blog because they're feeling angsty tonight' #was a regular talk down with my friends #now i collect the delete laters until i have very bad days and i just purge for like 50 items #its so so cathartic #words can't describe #well i could describe it but that would involve a lot of self harm tags so we're going to not breach that topic

[this-is-ali]

Y'all, it's 2023. Can we please stop pretending it's cool to hate on Dear Evan Hansen?

#it's totally fine if you don't like it but that doesn't put you above anyone who does #and just because you used to like it when you were younger and less mature doesn't mean that those who still like it are young and immature #and regardless of your opinion deh was a groundbreaking musical that helped destigmatize mental health struggles for an entire generation #that's pretty freaking cool if you ask me #this post applies to literally everything else too btw #it's not cool to hate on anything #why waste your energy griping about things you don't like when you can spend it gushing about things that bring you joy? #full transparency: I love deh. the music is gorgeous the complexity of the story is fascinating and the overall message is beautiful #also I'm talking about the musical. I can't comment on the movie or the novel because I haven't seen/read them. #dear evan hansen #deh #musical #musicals #theatre #broadway #my opinion #rant #food for thought #mini rant #musical theatre

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

#the miss Americana post got me thinking #that I wonder if the reason it isn’t liked in some circles is because she’s so vulnerable #and it shows her own insecurities and struggles on full display even if it’s kind of between the lines #and they don’t want to admit that some of her struggles are innate and not just attributable to outside forces/people #like taylor does have anxiety and depression and disordered eating and who knows what other kinds of struggles #that will always exist in addition to whatever else happens in her life and who she’s with #sure outside sources may make things worse (hello TTPD ahem) #but the trauma and mental health struggles were kind of brave of her to talk about even if she skirted around them #and maybe people just don’t know what to do with that? #(also I just know— never mind.) #eta: ​I know the activism angle is problematic to some and I think maybe framing it that way in the general public was a misstep #because the movie is more about her finding her voice/herself in general #but the political stuff took centre stage in the press and on social media and obviously people are disappointed #that she didn’t use her platform more publicly or thoughtfully (eg civil rights reproductive rights environmental issues political issues) #but for people to hate it because of that… like yes maybe it’s disappointing on that one point #but as a doc it’s thoughtful and profiles its subject in a general sense well

[aho-dapa]

This fandom is honestly...

Like, there is something to be said about fandoms in general and how they've changed as a whole generally but

There's also something about how the acotar fandom is especially toxic like

The idea that a post is surprised a murder hasn't happened yet and I found myself agreeing??? Is honestly telling

Like, also. A massive part of this is shipping and maybe it's because I have my corner of this fandom, but even then shipping the "wrong" thing in general has become something I honestly have to take in consideration when thinking of my mental health and if I can personally be prepared for any backlash??

This fandom at large doesn't feel safe and that's majorly concerning tbh

Maybe instead of saying shippers as a group are doing harm, we should just disavow harmful actions in general and not be complicit in it idk???

#anyway #just having thoughts #anti sjm #like I'm also pro Tamlin? and that doesn't help #i had to stop making intensive tamlin posts because my mental health honestly couldn't handle the constant discourse #which is sad when people genuinely come with the intent to discuss but since its all horrible in general I end up not having a lot of #emotional space to have a good conversation most of the time sighhhh #i also just end up blocking people in general when my timeline messes up my interests but #i have yet to block main ship tags because I still want to interact with my side of fandom on it but I'm sooooooo close to blocking #main tags because some people are vile on here #don't even get me started on gwyn because people end up saying shit they shouldn't be just because of shipping #and I don't have any personal feelings about gwyn but the way people say she's not important as a character gives me the ick tbh #like I get it from a sjm is a terrible writer standpoint #but gwyn did have narrative importance in acosf despite however I feel about how it coulf have been better written #and also as a character that is very explicitly a SA survivor some people here need to THINK about how they talk about her

[mariemariemaria]

Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality

#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh #like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good #but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees #the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support #and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well #like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people #maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a #whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously #women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women #or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak #like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years #but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people #i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse #drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so* #and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles #+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries #and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation #isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote #*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now #and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad #but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing #and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this. #love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol

[shima-draws]

Told my boss that NO I cannot take over customer phone calls because my anxiety will literally not be able to take it. And I’m being SO brave about it,

#I say this as I’m sitting here shaking and on the verge of having an anxiety attack. AHA #Shima speaks #She called me yesterday morning and was like. Hey your coworker is drowning and I KNOW you hate phone calls #But she really needs help #And I was like. Yeah okay. Maybe I can do this. #Fast forward to last night. I’m in bed hyperventilating bc no I CANNOT do this #My mental health has already been Bad for the past few months bc I’m already working overtime for this job #And now to take on the One thing I generally get anxious about? Bro. It’s gonna kill me. 100% no exaggeration #So I called my boss this morning and was like hi I’m so sorry I said I would but I actually can’t. I deadass had an anxiety attack #just THINKING about it last night #And she was like omg no I get it. I have anxiety too I know what it’s like. It’s debilitating sometimes #So she said I didn’t have to do the phone calls and now I’m like YIPPEE #And she said hey that was a really brave thing to do. Speaking up like that and making it clear when you’re not comfortable with something #Me still shaking and holding back tears: Thank you I’m being SO brave about this rn #Anyway I’m still coming down from the near panic attack I had before I called her to tell her lmao #It’s been a rough 24 hours. I’m fine (lying) #I’ll BE fine now that I don’t have to talk to angry customers on the phone tho 🥰

[rozenphox]

As someone with raging cptsd, i headcanon gohan to have it.

it makes a lot of sense that when hes older hes a workaholic, because work and job progression feel so much more within his locus of control than, say, some of his personal relationships may feel. it’s sad to say but when his intentions are in the right place, his actions could really hurt the ones he loves.

#son gohan #dragon ball #mental health introspection #tw: depression #tw: mental health #i think i decided this blog is gonna be a bunch of stuff i think about often but dont talk about #i’m so sorry if this is off-kilter i know db is such a happy fandom and can have a lot of fun gago #but i think so often about the real world implications and effects of generational and event-based trauma #lets just pretend this blog doesnt exist ;) #i drew this

[slutdge]

im having a fibrocsystic flare up and cramping and depressed cause therapy days are always bad and i had another revelation that something i thought was just silly that happened to me as a kid was actually abuse and i wanna scream and cry and throw up WHEN DOES IT GET EASIER

#let me fuck that old man for my mental health pls im gonna have a breakdown #anyways the ''when does it get easier'' is a rhetorical question i know the answer is when i stop having to deal with violent people daily #but that day is not going to be soon or maybe not even ever so #idk just shoot me lads im tired i wanna go to bed ive slept like shit for the past week #maybe ill log of and just read a book for a bit instead of doomscrolling #i hope yall are having a good day #anyways can we talk about how much doctors and just people in general downplay fibrocystic breast disease? #like i genuinely thought i had breast cancer before i was diagnosed its painful and scary

[jennycalendar]

had a cup of coffee last night — i do not usually drink coffee, not for any big reason, just because deviations from my routine have to be planned and when other drinks are on offer i default to the one i am most familiar with, and because i don’t usually drink coffee i didn’t realize that the caffeine would actually make my brain function the way that i am now certain my brain should be functioning. like i usually take an entire day to shower or cook or whatever it is but i cleaned the entire apartment and made my salad as well, and there was none of the “lying down for 3 hours for no reason doing nothing” in between? and now i am feeling very tangled and sad because i honestly did not realize my brain full on does work different on a lot of levels, and will need accommodations for things

#musings #lately for whatever reason i have been seeing a lot of posts across platforms #about how people are appropriating and co-opting certain mental health conditions when they don’t really have it #which is 80 percent of the reason i have not talked directly to most about my experiences here in the first place! #but like two therapists and multiple people in my life have been like ‘’hey this is probably a thing with you’’ #and essentially my entire family has one or the other or some combination of both #i guess i just sorta feel like i have found so many workarounds that at this point it doesn’t count? #like if it is not stopping me from living my life then why should it be a thing i think about? #but yesterday i experienced what it could be like in general #and realized how hard it has been across the board #to an extent i don’t usually think about #so yeah. maybe today is a bummer now that i am not Experiencing Caffeine

[wolfeyedwitch]

You ever wanna write but you have so many thoughts going on and so many ideas and stories that want to be told that when you go to put them on paper it's like trying to untangle a basket of yarn that a whole clowder of cats used as toys?

No? Just me?

#i wanna tell the stories #i wanna write the things #i really do #i even have ideas #i just cant get my brain to settle down into one story and work on it from where its at to where i want it to go #its all stuff for 20 entries down the line #or vague au ideas #and i feel like im going crazy because my thoughts are just pinballing around and i cant get them to settle #this is why ive been doing the art thing rather than the writing thing #because art takes much less idea generating energy once its started #i just feel unsettled in my own skin #its a very uncomfortable feeling #writing problems #brain go *dial-up noise* #i should talk to my therapist.... #and possibly my mental health provider.... #idk maybe my meds need adjusting again #i hope not bc thats always a pain in the ass

[toaster-trash]

Sometimes I remember that my sanity is actually dependant on a few fictional characters from 200 years ago, like not a silly haha joke but that I genuinely don’t have any other support system or healthy coping mechanism other than reading about and engaging in fan content for these fictional Victorians, and then I am like “uh oh. Goodness me. I may be in a bit of a sticky situation. A pickle, if you will.”

Anyway ahahahah something something humorous tumblr post as a coping mechanism ahaha something something

#am I genuinely mildly scared? mayhaps but I will not be admitting that properly #on a more genuine note though I have been feeling very unstable and very panic induced recently #the depressive issues just get considerably worse by the knowledge that I genuinely don’t have anyone in real life to help me #if things get even slightly worse than they’ve already shown they can get #I don’t get on with my parents very well despite the whole #‘haha my family member said this thing about gothic literature’ #is there much point to posting this? probably not #but between severe nightmares very often as well as slowly physically deteriorating more and more #and my general mental health getting progressively worse and worse #there isn’t much ELSE I can do and making a shitty tumblr post about it won’t make it any worse #and if nothing else if I end up doing something stupid at least people know what it’s a product of #I am scared to be honest #depressive episodes and dysphoria I can deal with but there’s nothing I hate more than geniune instability #if anyone genuinely has any advice or MINDS talking I would really appreciate it #it’s not like it can do any more harm #and like I said I don’t exactly have any good friends or family members #or teachers or anyone else #I’ll stop with the hashtags now sorry #just throwing my thoughts into the void #gothic lit #classic literature #gothic literature #classic lit #frankenstein #dracula