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#and my requests were not outrageous in the slightest

foolishlovers · 2 months

Note

Hi! I love your recs so much! Thank you for all the work you put into them! I hope it is okay to request my own? I would love to see a list of your favorite humorous explicit fics starring our ineffable idiots. I prefer non AUs, but if you have an absolute masterpiece, I'll take it no matter what!

Only if you want to, of course! Thank you, again!!

hey, that's so sweet, thank you so much!! 💜

of course, here are some of my favourite non AU humorous explicit good omens fics: [you can request more fic recs here.]

i made an excuse (you found another way) by orphan_account (1k) “Angel, the restaurant’s right there.” It was. Crowley gestured to it with a definitive arm wave. The Ritz was at the corner of Piccadilly and Arlington, and they could see the hotel facade as they stepped out of the park. “We can walk there.” “Let’s drive.”

Booty Call by emmagrant01 (2k) “It’s called a ‘butt dial,’ Angel. A ‘booty call’ is something else.”

The Angel Line by FancyTrinkets (2k) The one in which Aziraphale purchases and listens to a pornographic audiobook that just so happens to be narrated by Crowley. Aziraphale cringed and covered his face. This was going to be awful, and also thrilling, and he wasn't sure what he ought to be feeling about it, but there was a definite sense of vicarious shame.

Just a Taste by summerofspock (3k) See, it wasn’t so much the eating. It was the noises. It was the indecent look on Aziraphale’s face. It was the way he licked his fingers and wiggled in his seat. Every little action felt specially created to undo Crowley. And Aziraphale had no idea.

The Rake by CopperBeech (3k) During the long estrangement of the 1800's, Aziraphale practiced a secret hobby – and it wasn’t the gavotte. Crowley finds out in an unexpected way.

For a Good Time, Call by seashadows (3k) Three rings. Four. Seven, and then “Hello?” “Hello, sssssweetheart,” Crowley said. “How would you like my long, slithery tongue up your tight little –“ Then it hit him: he knew that voice. Dear. Fucking. Satan. (Sometime in the depths of the 1990s, Hell tasks Crowley with spreading lust. As usual, he makes as little effort as he can, but gets a heaven of a lot more than he bargained for.)

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking by for_autumn_i_am (5k) It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.

Fine Dining by iamshame (13k) "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?" "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration. Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?" "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth. Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

Trial & error by fellshish (15k) The Metatron brings in the demon Crowley to stand trial in Heaven. For tempting an angel. Uhhhh. Awkward.

Feast by Ashfae, mostlyjustgoose (15k) Crowley's spent the whole of lockdown asleep. Aziraphale has spent the whole of lockdown baking, cooking, and becoming increasingly frustrated with his solitude. Which eventually leads him to the perfect way to solve all his problems at once… Or, Aziraphale attempts to seduce Crowley with a truly excellent meal, and Crowley is amenable.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (17k) "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval. "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening." AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

Ideal Partner by summerofspock (17k) “Would you like to explain why you’re watching pornography? In your bookshop? During business hours?” Aziraphale flaps his hand, typically dismissive of any criticisms of his abysmal business practices. “Did you know I’ve been on this earth for nearly 6 millennia and have never engaged in intercourse before?” Crowley grinds his teeth and feels his cheeks heat. What is he supposed to say to that?

Anything for Science by Magnolia822 (20k) Aziraphale decides he wants to make an Effort, so he watches a lot of porn for science. And when he asks for help with more hands-on experimentation, Crowley is only more than happy to oblige.

The Loophole, or, How to Convince a Demon God Exists in Three Easy Steps by fellshish (24k) Ah, yes. Being an Archangel is going splendidly. Aziraphale accidentally erases God from the Book of Life.

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k)

”First formulated in 1997, [32] questions to fall in love is a study by psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron which took place at Stony Brook University, New York. The aim? Speeding up the creation of intimacy between two strangers.” The Cosmopolitan

Okay, fine.

Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

He had no expectations, all right? Just, an innocent curiosity.

The Grindr Logo Doesn't Even Have a 'G' In It by indieninja92 (79k) After the Apocalypse, Aziraphale ventures into a new space in the gay milieu - Grindr. There he starts talking to a charming young man who certainly doesn't bear any resemblance at all to a certain long streak of demon, not one bit, no thank you. Meanwhile, Aziraphale and Crowley navigate their friendship after the world failed to end. There is much drinking and silliness, but could it be that there are other feelings lurking underneath?? Of course there are, this is fanfic.

[you can find more fic rec masterposts here]

#seriously fic rec requests are always welcome!!#good omens #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfiction #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #aziracrow fanfic #crowley x aziraphale #foolish recs #go fic masterpost

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bones4thecats · 4 months

Note

hi bon,

can you do Hades, Poseidon, Thor and Herac

husband and s/o just finish with gathering, when s/o been drag by Aphrodite

husband been drag by Zeus/Loki to Aphrodite new establishment

as husband enter one things they saw all the server wearing a cute sexy bunny outfit which husband don't care

then husband saw s/o been drag out by aphrodite while wearing those while said s/o trying to hide everything which failed miserably

s/o saw husband and have turn into mortified as their husband saw them in said outfit. husband outrage with aphrodite while zeus/loki used those as blackmailed.

in private husband said that s/o look cute in those outfit

A/N: This was an interesting request. Honestly, I can see all of this happening to them each, as I can see Aphrodite getting bored and yoinking their S/O just for something fun to happen. She’s definitely a teaser.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💀 Well this was quite odd, Zeus never really visited him down in Helheim, and while Hades protested at the start, Zeus didn’t take anything

💀 He was dragging him to Aphrodite’s newest opening ‘restaurant’ in Valhalla

💀 Hades was very loyal to his S/O, so going there felt like betraying their trust, and he did not like that

💀 But, Aphrodite had taken his S/O away earlier that day, and he couldn’t let them see them there possibly, but Zeus’ hold was surprisingly good

“ Now, older brother. You are to stay here, I will get something to drink. “

💀 He watched confused as his brother left him at the table, and as he looked at the nymphs walking around in very revealing outfits, he looked at the ground like Poseidon always did

“ Oh come on, Aphrodite! I am not going out there wearing this damn thing! “

💀 Your voice? Why were you here? And what was Aphrodite making you wear?

💀 Looking up from the marble floors, he saw a familiar big chested woman holding you in place, and you… oh my Helheim you were wearing a bunny outfit

💀 You tried hiding certain parts of your body from the other Gods in the facility, and Hades was one of the first people you had seen

“ Aphrodite. They’re changing and going home. Now. “

💀 Aphrodite smiled and giggled before allowing your embarrassed form to go back to change

💀 He cannot lie though, seeing you in that? Woo

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“ No. “

🔱 He did not want to go in the slightest, but with how Zeus kept trying to blast him for being a buzzkill, he couldn’t take his whining anymore

🔱 Poseidon stood up and followed his younger brother as he walked through the fairly decent looking facility that Aphrodite had put together

“ Go ahead and sit. I’m gonna go get something at the bar, Hera can’t yell at me here! “

🔱 He sighed and sat down, opening the book he had grabbed from his study before leaving his and your palace

🔱 While reading, he could hear Zeus start speaking, or rather, flirting with another woman until the familiar slap sound echoed, making Poseidon smile for a second

🔱 But while that got him to react a bit, hearing you yelling at Aphrodite made him look up

“ I am not going out there in this, Aphrodite! Kiss your Christmas present goodbye! “ “ Oh come on, dearie~ I believe that someone out there will really like this~ “

🔱 Excuse me?

🔱 He stood up, summoned his trident and walked away, his book being sent back home to his desk as he strolled to the back of the building

“ I swear to you, Aphrodite! I will get Poseidon to end every connection with you if you make me walk out there with all of those lustful assholes! “

🔱 Poseidon saw you dressed in a bunny outfit and glared at Aphrodite, not making eye contact, but surely scaring her to the core

“ How about you change now? “ “ Thank the Gods. “

🔱 He’d rather you thank him but, it’ll do for now. And even he cannot deny, you looked fairly nice in the outfit…

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🌩️ Loki does not give in easily, and Thor knew that, he grew up with the God

🌩️ He walked behind Loki as he rambled about how nice the place appeared, and he only answered questions with a quick glance

🌩️ He had sat with Loki as he ate moussaka while Thor only looked out the window at the passing birds and people

🌩️ The thing that caught him out of his appearing trance was Loki whistling and his comment

“ Isn’t that your S/O? Oh, Y/N! “

🌩️ Thor looked up and he froze like ice when he had seen you, you were wearing a beautifully wove bunny outfit and because of how revealing it was, you were trying to hide certain body parts

🌩️ His cheeks glowed slightly red as he told you to go with him to change, glaring slightly at Aphrodite as you walked past her, she only giggled as Thor wrapped his cloak around you, hiding your form from certain Gods

🌩️ Once you changed, he looked at you and patted your head, saying;

“ While I did not approve of Aphrodite putting you in that outfit without your consent, I will have you admit, you looked nice in it. “

🌩️ You laughed nervously as he wrapped his arms around your waist, sitting you on his lap as he laid his nose in your neck

“ And I will have to teach you what happens when you look that nice for others~ “

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💪 His father wanted him to get out of the palace, to get out and about, have some fun!

💪 Ares and Hermes had decided to tag along, since he had nothing going on, and Zeus was happy to have both of his sons around, after all, now he can say he got drunk and hit on women for the environment

💪 A ‘guy’s night out’ as he said

💪 Heracles sat down and watched the other people walk around in outfits that were described by others, including his brothers, as ‘far to revealing’

💪 But, of course, their father liked it, how gross… damn old pervert

💪 He looked at Hermes as he called his name, and Ares’ face was frozen looking behind the demi-god

“ I believe you have a surprise behind you, it appears to me that- “ “ Y/N’s wearing a bunny outfit! “

💪 Ares’ interruption made Hermes glare at him and made Heracles snap his head behind him in shock

💪 It was true, you were wearing the ears, tail, outfit and all, and it made him get so flustered

“ Oh Heracles! I didn’t see you there, do tell, does Y/N look good or not? “ “ They- um… they look good… “

💪 Aphrodite chuckled and pat your head, saying you could change

💪 Well, this was going to be an interesting night, your husband was now very flustered, and he couldn’t stop imagining you in the outfit

💪 Help this poor boy!

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s1m0nth3swag · 23 days

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Can I request milkman X reader where the reader was always getting in trouble some way or another when they were a kid and they always got bored and just telling Francis stories about what they did when they were a kid?

Such as jumping out the window to go out with some friends because they were grounded and bored, prank calling on neighbours, chasing cars while riding their bicycles in a crowded street, climbing high trees and just jumping off of them, getting into playground fights and things like that..........(I did some of those)

Francis was a boring kid and never did anythings for sure, he'd have a freak out if his partner was somewhat of a troublemaker omg

Thanks for the ask, Anon!

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Fluff, GN Reader, Francis being a worried little guy, established relationship, kinda short sorry, Reader is silly

The first time you told Francis about your childhood shenanigans was when the two of you were resting on the couch after a long and hard day. He was comfortably nestled against your chest and inbetween your legs, while you ran your fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss against the top of his head from time to time. He had looked up at you in slight shock and worry after you had asked if he had ever slipped when climbing through windows, for you, that was a totally normal question, for him, it was a reason to be genuinely worry about his partners wellbeing. Afterwards, he was always on edge to make sure you weren't getting too close to any of the windows in the shared apartment. A little too much, in your opinion.

You swore to yourself to tell him your most outrageous childhood stories whenever he least expected it. Partly because you wanted him to understand how normal it was to you, partly because his shocked face was just too funny to you. Genuinely, he looked like you had just told him the world was ending.

The next time you spoke to him about it, you were extra casual about it. "You know, I once beat up an older kid because he threw sand in my buddy's face." You hummed as the two of you were cooking dinner, his arms wrapped around your waist as his head rested on yours while you kept an eye on the stove. Francis had immediately peeled himself away from you to give you that little look of 'what the fuck is wrong with you'. You started giggling, and for a second Francis was relieved. "I thought you were serious." He sighed. "Oh, I am. Your expression was just funny." You responded, a grin on your lips as you leaned up to kiss him softly. Francis groaned in annoyance, shoving you playfully.

From then on, Francis watched you with the utmost care. He was always prepared for more stories - which, of course, was no fun to you since you wanted to catch him off guard. For days, you waited for the perfect opportunity until he came home from work, especially tired. Definitely not up for your bullshit. A perfect opportunity.

You grinned wickedly as he walked through the front door, already sensing his mood simply from the way he slouched and the fact that he hung up his jacket just a little slower than usually - you had grown used to the exact time it took him to walk from the front door to the couch. After living together for so long, it was honestly just habit.

"Francis, love." You called out, the slightest hint of mischief in your voice. He grumbled, knowing you were up to no good, because in all seriousness, when were you ever up to any good (the answer was probably never). "Did I ever tell you about the time I chased cars around my neighbourhood? Or when I broke my leg because I jumped off a tree?" You started, and Francis mumbled something about you being an idiot. You simply chuckled as he walked towards the couch.

You followed him around the apartment for the next hour or so, continuing with your most dramatic stories. At this point, Francis was seriously considering taping your mouth shut, though he wasn't sure if you might already have a story about that. You continued to yap about police arresting you, childhood fights, and whatever else came to mind.

At the end of the day, Francis was more exhausted by you than he had been by work, which was a new low for him, really. Usually, you'd be the one to give him energy, not steal it, and run away while giggling manically - which he honestly thought was a thing you'd do.

At last, he managed to shut you up by saying he'd make dinner and breakfast if you'd just stop talking, a deal you were very willing to take. After all, Francis made such a wonderful house husband - and he wore an apron while cooking, which was honestly lovely eye candy to you. You pressed a kiss to his forehead, smiling. "Thanks, love." You hum, and he sighs in defeat. "You'll be the death of me one day, dear." He responds, though a smile plays on the corner of his lips, and you know he isn't serious.

#francis mosses #francis mosses x you #thats not my neighbor #x reader #francis mosses headcanons #francis mosses x reader #milkman that's not my neighbor #milkman x reader

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homelanderbutbig · 1 month

Text

A Sweet Weird, Kinda Like You (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1080 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You sneak into The Seven's meeting room for early morning smooches.

It's an early morning at the Vought Tower, and the employees are just starting to pour in.

Deciding to take advantage of the early hours, you ride the elevator up to the 99th floor to visit Homelander. You don't have to start your shift for 15 minutes, and you know he would appreciate seeing you before you have to slave away at your desk job.

The Seven's meeting room is quite a sight to behold, with the table and chairs built taller to accommodate Homelander's height, so he doesn't have to feel like an adult sitting at the kid's table. His chair was also made custom just for him, which he is grateful for as no one else can reach that high to sit on his 'throne'.

As expected, you find Homelander alone, arms behind his back while he stands by the windows to survey the city. Although he doesn't turn around to acknowledge you as you walk up to him, you're pretty sure there's a smile on his face right now.

"Morning big guy," you say, leaning up against his leg. At long last you look up at him, getting to see him beaming down at you and showing off his pretty canines.

"You're here early," he chuckles softly, lowering one of his large hands to your shoulder. He uses his long fingers to stroke your shoulder while his thumb splays across your back.

"I wanted to see my favourite supe before I started work," you remark, tilting your head into his hip.

"Oh? I'm your favourite am I?" he taunts cheekily, giving your shoulder a playful squeeze. You can't uphold your unimpressed frown for long as your expression causes him to laugh, and you giggle along with him.

Homelander bends down to lift you up to his chest, rubbing his nose against yours. His big eyes sparkle like two flawless sapphires, completely taken in by the sight of you. With his face so close to yours, you can feel the slightest quivering of his lips and you know what he is waiting for permission for. Even though he takes what he wants from everyone else, he would never dare to do that to you.

When you finally give him a nod he kisses you, doing his best not to let your love consume him lest he not be able to listen for approaching footsteps. However, he finds himself getting lost in your adoration, especially feeling one of your hands caressing his cheek. He strains himself trying not to keen too loudly into your mouth, appreciative that you aren't using your wicked fingers to scratch along his undercut.

Carefully, he walks backwards to sit down into his oversized chair, keeping you seated in his lap. He can't help but treasure how your body fits so perfectly on his thighs, like you were meant to be there. During the kiss he moves his hands to your hips, loving how impeccably his palms conform to them.

After breaking from your kiss, Homelander belatedly notices the little brown bag you've been holding onto this entire time. He decides not to use his X-ray vision to look at what's inside, but he can't help but notice the sickeningly sweet smell emanating from within.

"What… is that?" he asks, furrowing his brow at your questionable breakfast.

"I got a couple cake pops from Jitter Bean before I came into work," you explain, cracking up at his confused expression.

"I bought one for you and one for me," you tell him, pulling them out of the bag. He feels accosted looking at these little dough balls on lollipop sticks, coated in pink chocolate and dusted with rainbow sprinkles.

"It's good, trust me. Just try it," you proclaim, holding one out for him. He glares at you like you've told him you shot JFK, just utterly dumbfounded at what you're requesting of him. You, a mere human, are asking… nay, ordering the world's greatest superhero to eat something so childish? But his faux outrage doesn't scare you, and you simply wiggle one of the cake pops in front of his mouth.

With a heavy exhale and a hard swallow, Homelander succumbs to your fiendish demands. Painstakingly, he takes the cake pop in between his teeth, chewing it hesitantly like he's unsure if you're really just trying to poison him. You eat your cake pop as you watch him go through this assault to his taste buds, snickering at his overly dramatic theatrics.

"Well? What do you think?" you inquire as he finishes his diabolical breakfast.

"It's… weird," he utters, his face scrunched up like he just ate a whole lemon.

"A good weird?" you ponder, seeing his lips twitch from your question as he shoots you a sly smirk.

"It's a sweet weird … kinda like you," he chuckles, leaning back close for another kiss. The sugary taste of the cake pops mingles in with both of your lips. As much as he would rather never eat one of those death balls again, the fact that you thought of him when you bought two is enough to set his heart aflame. More than anything, he wishes this precious morning would never end.

Suddenly, Homelander lets out a deep sigh from his nose. He hears movement closing in on the meeting room. Unfortunately, your time is up.

"My team's on their way," he grumbles, rolling his eyes. "Five minutes late, as usual. Like they don't think I notice."

"I should get going too," you note. "I have to start my shift."

"Promise you'll stop by the penthouse later?" he asks, unable to hide his subtle concern. Even though you never would, he can never fully mask that voice in his head that makes him worry you won't want to see him anymore.

"Of course I will. Try and stop me," you declare, giving him one last kiss. A relieved smile spreads across his face; the disaster has been averted. You always know just what to say to calm his anxieties.

He lets you down off his lap and you quickly shuffle out of the meeting room, giving Homelander a wave goodbye before heading off for the elevator.

Standing back up, he returns to his position solemnly gazing out the windows.

Homelander holds onto the faint taste of cake pop on his lips, the little reminder of how you like to include him in your basic human rituals. The little reminder of how you make him human too.

#the boys #the boys tv #homelander #homelander x reader #g/t #size difference #my writing

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seungstarss · 2 years

Text

CUPID’S LAW | NEVER FALL IN LOVE

PAIRING › Play boy! Heeseung x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS › After a bland highschool experience, you immediately gravitate to your university’s most outrageous matchmaking club, “The Cupid Club.” Your job was simple: to collect information on your client’s love interest and then pair them together. After two years on your “job,” everything became less horrific and getting couples together almost seemed like a natural occurrence. That is until you’re tasked to collect information on Lee Heeseung, the infamous rugby captain who is coincidently known as the biggest player on campus.

GENRE› college au, angst (I said it was major angst in the preview, but after writing it, I realized that it’s not actually that sad), consultant! reader x rugby captain! Heeseung, heartbreak, crack, fluff

WARNING(S) › swearing, heavy drinking, mentions of sex

WORDCOUNT › 18.4k (I apologize beforehand)

NOTES › This is my entry for @jungwoniics ’ “just out of reach” collab

Love was an unexplained phenomenon that entwined souls together. It was an experience of rather difficult trifles which blossomed into ultimate bliss. To be with someone you found truly admirable and to lead a life with them for as many years as they lasted was society’s idea of a dream come true. Love seemed to be something like a goal to people, while to others, it was rather a burden. To you, it was a lackluster ordeal filled with complications and hurdles — an experience you didn’t want to indulge in.

You hated when September strolled along. Every autumn leaf gracefully leaving the comfort of the branches to experience the harsh winter chills yet again this cycle. It was similar to all the young adults who traveled distances away from the warmth of their homes to lead a rather dreadful college life.

The giddy freshmen were always entertaining to watch. The yearning they all had to start fresh, lead a new life, to grow, and become a part of society.

That is what college was

A greater look into society.

You had grown weary of the customs of welcoming newcomers to the school. Their excitement clearly not phasing you in the slightest. The way they would greet you and ask you for directions. You had found them cute before, but now, you couldn’t spare another waking moment guiding a freshman through the halls, introducing them to every passing professor you came across. You had grown tired. People made you tired.

In freshman year, you joined the school’s consulting club, “the Cupids Club.” You found the name rather stupid, but the more you grew to understand the club, the more fitting it seemed to be. It wasn’t any consulting club — it consisted of bringing two people together, two people who failed to communicate their feelings to one another. The heavy burden of match-making was one of the stress-inducing activities in addition to your own school work. Yet, you found it intriguing to bring people together and watch them form a special bond with each other.

Your job was simple, to analyze the receiver of love. To learn about their dislikes and likes, hobbies, and any other useless pieces of information. Your job was to convey these pieces of information to the person consulting you for assistance. It was a simple job.

So what made it so difficult?

You grew to realize that freshmen were the worst clients. All of them fresh into college and wanting to obtain and secure their significant other without their parent’s constant blabbing. Freshmen had the highest expectation. Once a first-year finds out about the school’s Cupid club, the rest of the freshmen automatically know too. And with so much attention and desire, they were never kind with their requests. Their demands strayed too high, and most of them went for unobtainable matches.

For example, Lee Heeseung.

The lad wasn’t exactly unobtainable. He was rather easy to woo, but he wasn’t easy to keep.

You had received a total of twenty requests, asking for you to set them up with Mr. Lee Heeseung before Valentine's day. Except there was an issue.

You knew nothing about the boy.

Sure, you had heard of him before. Most of the requests regarding him were given to students in his year to manage. You were a year below Heeseung, and the only thing you could conclude about the boy was that he was a gigantic player.

“Could you please set him up with me before Valentine's day, please?” The younger girl with strawberry blonde hair squirmed in her chair, looking up at you with her doll-like eyes. “I heard you’re one of the best consultants here and I really like him. So you’ll be able to do it right?”

How many times have you heard the same phrases of flattery that slipped out of their lying mouths? Praises, bribes, and baseless words — they used anything to earn a simple yes from you. You rejected everything of course, because all you cared for was someone genuine.

And that person came.

She was a year older than you, the same age as Heeseung. The girl had short beige hair and braids that pulled her hair into a half ponytail. She wasn’t very tall, but the girl was gorgeous. The way her eyes curved into crescent moons when she smiled made you almost envious. She spoke in a soft whispering tone and requested politely, unlike the previous girls who demanded your service.

“Um, hi,” the girl nervously tucked her side bangs behind her ear, looking at the floor. Her entire face was tomato red. “Could I request a favour?”

She was cute. The way she looked away, avoiding eye contact. She was the type of girl every boy wanted as a significant other. The girl didn’t even explain her whole situation, and you already felt the need to help her — to pair her up with whoever she had been yearning for.

“Yeah, of course!” You rested your chin on your palm, waiting for her to muster up the courage to tell you about her crush. “Just tell me your situation and who this person is.”

“Oh right! Well, I’ve liked him ever since freshman year. I met him in one of my classes and he, uh… he lent me a pencil. I mean, I don’t like him because of that! He’s really charming and good-looking. But the issue is, he’s popular and I doubt he even knows who I am. I heard… I heard he’s a player too.” She mumbled, fidgeting with the latch of her tote bag.

Okay, what was with these absolute catches liking the worst kinds of people? After a few years of this whole cupid consultant shit, you’ve come to notice how unfair it was — The way the best people were always attracted to the shittiest men.

“Oh no, not a player,” you sighed, scribbling the info down on your notepad. “Oh, I forgot to ask, your name is?”

“Yeeun. Jung Yeeun.”

Did she just say Jung Yeeun? Your eyebrows furrowed in absolute shock. “Jung Yeeun? As in the literature gold Medalist Jung Yeeun?” Your jaw was probably on the floor right now, but that didn’t matter when someone with such achievements stood in front of you.

“Oh… yeah.” The girl blushed, looking down at her fingers.

Gosh, she was cute. You found it odd how her mysterious crush hadn’t noticed her throughout these years. After all, she was the Jung Yeeun, and she was absolutely stunning.

“Oh my god. Um, this is so off-topic, but I really admire your work! The way your words flow and the way you intertwine emotions into your writing. Honestly, you’re amazing.” You were truly giddy to finally meet the faceless writer you had been admiring ever since freshman year.

“Oh what? You admire my work?” The girl gasped, looking up at you with her round doe eyes once again. “I don’t know what to say. It means so much to me!”

This time, you gave her a genuine smile. She was the first person this semester to come to you with such courtesy, plus she was talented and so warmhearted? You had struck gold with her and you couldn’t wait to provide any necessary help. “Of course! I’ll also do my best to help you with your crush!”

“Really? I don’t have to appeal or tell you more about my situation?”

“Nope, I just need his name and we’ll be set!” Out of all the clients you “interviewed,” she was the only one who appealed to you, and genuinely, even though it had only been a few minutes, you wanted the best for her. “Also, we can set up a date for weekly meetings so I can forward to you any information I’ve learned about them. Of course, I’ll give you advice too, since that’s my job.”

“What? You’re so kind! I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

“No need,” you grinned, writing her name in your notebook. “I’ll make sure to take the most detailed notes on them to help you the best way I can.”

“Well…” Yeeun trailed off.

“His name is Heeseung. Lee Heeseung.”

What?

Out of everyone it could’ve been, it was him? The infamous senior, Lee Heeseung?

“Is there something wrong?” Yeeun panicked, moving her hand up and down in front of your face to bring you back to your senses. You could tell she was worried for you as your expression suddenly dropped upon hearing his name. “You look a bit pale, Yn.”

“Oh haha,” you chuckled nervously, clearing your throat in the process. “I was just shocked to hear his name. In all honesty, I think you can do better. I heard he’s a trashy person.”

“No, that’s what I heard too. But from the small conversations we had back in class, I think otherwise. He seems misunderstood.” Yeeun forced a smile, attempting to reassure you as you shook your head in disappointment.

One of those “I can change him” situations again. You sighed, writing the boy’s name in your notes along with Yeeun’s information. “Well, you’re right. I don’t know him so I can’t form an opinion on him from what I heard. But anyway, I will try my best to make things work.”

“Thank you, Yn. You’re so kind.”

You were tasked with gathering information about this popular senior boy, and it wasn’t hard. The first person you consulted was Ryujin, your best friend, who was a year older than you, a senior.

“Oh gosh, your client wants Heeseung?” She inched backward in disgust. “He’s literally the worst person to have a crush on. He can’t commit for shit, plus he’s a whole-ass player who has no sense of pity for his former flings. But I mean, it really isn’t hard to earn his favour.”

Your interest perked up after hearing Ryujin’s last sentence. She had rambled for an entire hour about the boy already and said nothing particularly intriguing until now. “And how would someone quote — unquote earn his favour?”

“Frankly, it’s quite simple,” Ryujin smirked, holding up two fingers. “One, show up to one of his or his drunkard friend’s frat party. Two, wear some skimpy dress and seduce the man. He’s quite simple. It makes me gag.”

Shaking off the utter disgust on your face, you rolled your eyes at your friend’s words. What had you expected? Some player with a heart of gold who just hadn’t found their soulmate? You probably spent too much time burying your nose in romance novels to see what reality was like. Even with a position as a love consultant, most of your pairings had worked out and your efforts had never gone to waste. But this time, Yeeun’s request seemed almost fruitless. “Gosh, why did I just know?”

“I mean, he is a player, after all. He’s easy to woo but hard to keep. Your poor client is definitely in a rough spot. But I don’t really know too much about him, so I can’t really speak on his actions.”

“You literally spent the whole past hour roasting the dude.” You scoffed at your friend in amusement.

“Well, I mean, after everything I’ve heard about him, I can’t help it.” The older girl smirked, pushing through the doors of the library. “I mean, I heard there’s a game after school. Maybe we can go together and you can analyze him then.”

“A game? He’s an athlete?”

“Yn, you really are clueless about this man, huh?”

“Maybe.”

—

Tying your hair in a simple ponytail, you grabbed the pale white tote bag that consisted of your notebook, where you kept all your client notes. You leaned against the doorframe of the washroom, tapping your fingers on the marble sink as you waited for Ryujin to finish straightening her hair. “Girl, are you trying to impress someone today? Like you look too good for a simple game.”

Ryujin shot you a sly smirk before returning to straighten the locks that fell to the left side of her face. “Your flattery is giving me too much confidence sis, but maybe.”

You sighed at the girl’s words. “So the truth is, you dragged me to this game just to accompany you, so you could flirt with some jock? I mean, I’m willing to be your emotional support, but girl, I’d rather off myself instead of watching you attempt to flirt.”

“Hey! I'm good at flirting! Plus, you needed to come anyway, right? You need to analyze Mr. Lee Heeseung.” The girl sang, unplugging the straightener. You had to remind yourself that Ryujin was rather popular and had a consistent social life, unlike you, who spent hours crying into your textbooks and a hundred pages of notes.

“Whatever. Shouldn’t we get going?” You cocked your head to the side as you watched your friend put on her dangly silver earrings. “I mean, it starts in twenty minutes, doesn’t it?”

“It’s literally around the corner. It takes five minutes to walk there. No need to rush.” The girl winked at you. “But you’re right, we should head there a few minutes early.” She quickly snatched the beige purse that hung on walls near the entrance, dragging you with her at the same time.

You slipped on your shoes as fast as you could to match Ryujin’s pace. She was definitely excited about seeing this game, and you just couldn’t feel the same way. Something about Yeeun’s request rubbed you the wrong way. Of course, it wasn’t the girl, but it was Heeseung himself. The thought of you getting them together only to have him cheat his way out of the relationship digested you to the max. The last thing you wanted was for Yeeun to get hurt. She was a sweet girl who deserved more than a half-hearted man who had a new fling every day of the week.

“You must be in deep concentration right now.” Ryujin smacked you on the back, bringing you back to reality. “Like hello? Girl, did you even notice that we’re almost there already?” Your eyes scanned your surroundings. The green grass below your feet and the bleachers that stood a few meters away from you definitely signified that you both were close to the playing field.

You hadn’t even noticed riding the elevator down, or heck, even locking the door because of your wandering thoughts. “Oh shit Ryu, did you lock the door?”

The girl scoffed and gave you a lazy grin. “Who do you think I am? Obviously, I had to take it upon myself since you were so wound up in your dreamland.”

“Dreamland my ass,” You rolled your eyes before clutching your friend’s arm, proceeding up the steps of the bleachers. “Where shall we sit?”

Ryujin dragged you back down and slowly approached the very front row, close to where the rugby team was getting ready. “Here obviously! You’re kinda blind, plus I have my reasons.”

“Girl, what the fuck?” You mumbled as you sat down next to Ryujin on the mini tarp she had put on the metal bleachers before sitting down. Right in front of you was the rugby team, some doing push-ups to warm up and some leaning against the bleachers talking to the cheerleaders.

“Shitt you actually came? Honestly, I didn't expect to see you here.” A boy with silver hair approached you and Ryujin while leaning against the tiny fence that separated the bleachers from the playing field. “And you brought a friend with you too? How interesting.”

“Cut the bullshit, Park,” Ryujin snapped. “I didn’t come here to listen to your nasally ass remarks. Kindly turn the fuck around and focus on your game.” She fakely smiled, gesturing for the boy to face around.

“Aw, you know you don’t have to act so hard to get.” The boy called “Park” chuckled. “But you, what’s your name?” He turned his attention to you, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“It’s Yn, and I think my friend wants you to leave.”

The boy smirked in amusement, twirling his helmet with both his hands. “Oh, she’s feisty. You two make quite the combination.” This “Park” boy had only been standing in front of the two of you for a few seconds and you already wanted to slap the playful grin off his face. From the way he carried himself, you knew he was one of those boys too.

“Yeah, did you not hear her? Piss off, Park.” Ryujin shooed the boy, who only winked at her before making his way toward his teammates.

“Who the fuck-“

“Yes, I know you’re gonna ask questions Yn, I’ll explain.” Ryujin placed her hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile. The girl had told you everything about her life, but somehow this menace named “Park” was never mentioned in any of her stories. “That was Park Sunghoon, one of Heeseung's best buddies. He’s been trying to, I guess, ‘pursue me’ ever since freshman year? But of course, I rejected him every time. Yes, as you know, I have dated many people, but you will never catch me dead with one of those jocks, especially not Park Sunghoon.”

Park Sunghoon? Now his name sounded familiar.

You had heard his name slip through the mouths of many students roaming the hallways, but never matched his face to his name. He was well known throughout campus and was labeled the “deathly heartthrob.” Mainly because he never actually got into relationships. He was only an advocate for one-night stands, and friends with benefits, nothing else. The boy drew the line and only ever had physical interactions, never emotional.

“Oh, he’s Park Sunghoon,” you nodded your head, mentally connecting all the dots in your head. “Wait, but aren’t you trying to pursue some jock?”

“That’s a different story.” Ryujin inched closer to you, placing her hand over your ear before whispering. “You see, the boy over there?” She pointed ever so slightly at a boy in an oversized leather jacket who was holding a yellow water bottle.

“The yellow water bottle boy?” You questioned, squinting your eyes for a better view.

“Yeah, he’s the new manager on the team and he’s hella fine. Don’t you think so?”

You turned around to face Ryujin before throwing her a sarcastic grin. “Well, as you said, I'm blind, so I can’t see shit.”

The girl hit you gently, cackling at your response.

Before you could revert your focus to whatever was going on on the field, your eyes landed on a particular boy with raven black hair who was staring right back at you. His eyes seemed to pierce through your gaze, freezing you on the spot. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t even breathe in the presence of his stare. He was just a simple rugby jock who had both hands lazily tucked into his side pockets. So what made his gaze so enticing? Was it the way he looked at you? Or was it the way he licked his lips while shooting you a sly smirk?

“Who the fuck is that?” You shook Ryujin right after the boy shifted his vision elsewhere.

“Which one? You’re literally staring into a crowd of men.” She remarked, waiting for you to point to whoever this dude was.

“The one over there. The tall one with the parted black hair.” You motioned your head towards the boy’s direction, afraid to point or make any more unnecessary eye contact.

“Oh, that one?” Ryujin grinned. “That’s Mr. Play boy. Your target of today.”

That was Lee Heeseung?

The boy with the almost dangerous stare? Your heart fell into your stomach. You could already tell by the way his lips curved up into a sly smirk that Lee Heeseung was trouble.

Quickly pulling out your notebook, you began to scribble down your observations of the boy, who stood amused at your actions. He had diverted his gaze back to you a minute ago, only to see you frantically ask your friend a question and then proceed to pull out a notepad.

The buzzer blared throughout the court, signaling the beginning of the game, and the boys rushed to their positions, waiting for the game to commence. You always thought rugby was an odd sport — the aggressive shoving, and the constant growling. You a hundred percent preferred football. A few minutes of passing the ball had gone by before you grew bored, aggravated by the icy wind that kept blowing your hair in your face, blocking your view. You had to focus on Heeseung, but all you could get out of this game was that he was stubborn. The way he played, constantly trying to score points for his team, and the way he shoved members of the opposing team with his brute force without looking back — Heeseung always got what he wanted. You could tell from the simple expression he had on his face, eyes hungry and full of desire.

A stubborn man who always got his way. The worst kind to deal with.

The final buzzer went off, signaling the conclusion of the game. Your school won and you were anything but surprised. The only extra information you got out of coming to tonight’s game was that Heeseung seemed to be the captain of the team, and Ryujin sucked ass at flirting. Before you could jot your concluding thoughts down, you heard your friend clearing her throat as she slightly nudged you. She was standing up, arms entwined with the yellow water bottle boy, and she looked down at you, eyes practically begging. “Yn, is it okay if you head back to the dorms yourself? Here, I can give you the keys.” She rummaged through her purse, pulling out her metal keys with the bear keychain you had gifted her for her birthday. “I’m just gonna be out for a little longer. Is that okay?” She was giving you puppy eyes now.

You sighed, chuckling at your friend’s words. You weren’t going to stop her from getting with someone she fancied just because you were scared to walk back yourself. What kind of friend would you even call yourself if you ruined her chances just because the dark gave you chills? “No problem, give me a call if you need anything!” You smiled, gesturing for her to go ahead before shifting your attention back to your notes.

“Captain of the team, strong-willed I guess, stubborn.” You mumbled to yourself, listing down every piece of information you detected through tonight’s game.

“Having fun writing my name into your death note?” A low voice spoke, startling you. Instinctively, you brought your notebook to your chest, guarding the information you had gathered. You were never to share your notes with anyone but your clients. Even Ryujin hadn’t had the chance to skim through your notebook.

Your eyes landed on a particular raven-haired boy, who leaned teasingly against the fence. His hair wasn’t perfectly parted anymore, it was rather messy and dripping with sweat. Good thing the boy had a towel around his neck. Or else you’d probably scoot away from him.

Or would you?

He was a good meter away from you, and your eyes instinctively fell to his facial features, his tall nose bridge, his tanned complexion which seemed to glisten under the stadium light, and his lips.

His lips? What the fuck were you thinking?

You slightly gasped, realizing the situation you were in. Heeseung stood in front of you, staring at your every flicker of emotion and movement. Once again, your mind ran blank, unable to move or think.

“I’m joking,” the boy chuckled. “What are you writing so attentively that you only looked up at the game a few times?”

He had noticed every time that you spent jotting down notes instead of watching the game? What the hell? Did this man have eyes on the back of his head?

“It’s none of your concern.” You spoke forcefully, shoving your notebook into your bag.

“Did you find the game boring?” The boy snickered, his intense gaze not leaving yours.

“Maybe I did.” You got up, getting ready to leave.

Heeseung wasn’t going to let you leave at that moment. “Then what interests you?” The boy asked, looking up at you while leaning closer. Did this boy not understand the concept of personal space, or did he just lack awareness? Though you were standing up, you still felt the way his cocky grin held you down, forcing you to stay.

“Probably not you.” You snapped back at the boy. He emanated so much confidence and somehow, he had a hold on you, and you wanted nothing more than to run away.

“But didn’t you just get ditched by your friend?” He raised his eyebrows, unknowingly provoking you even more. “I mean, I must be quite interesting since you’re still here answering my questions.”

Number one of why you hated men of his kind. In their minds, the world revolves around them and every little thing that is of convenience to them; they use to further latch onto in order to get whatever they want. Heeseung knew how to talk, and you already knew you hated his guts.

“Right.” You gave him a fake smile before turning your back on the boy. “Well, maybe you were interesting, but your words are boring me, so do me a favour and shut your mouth.” You remarked, giving him one last wave before leaving the premise of his lurking gaze. It took you lots of confidence to tell people to shut up, but with him, it came naturally.

ENTRY LOG #1

First day of analyzing Lee Heeseung and he’s an absolute menace. He’s the stereotypical frat boy who has way too much time on his hands. An absolute rake. Though besides that, he is the captain of the school’s rugby team and is very dedicated to winning. From the way he carries himself, he seems to be very confident, but he’s also very skilled with his words. He knows how to charm people, and that may be a dangerous sign. However, this is just an outlook on the boy as he did not show any of his true personality — unless this is what his true personality is, a shitty playboy jock.

The next time you saw Heeseung was on campus near the library. He was walking through the greenery area with his arms latched around two girls who wore short pleated skirts and heels too high for a simple lecture day. You totally understood dressing up, as you tried to dress your best during your first year of university. But ten-inch heels were a different story. They had their arms around him, either coddling his waist or his chest. You tried your best not to barf up this morning's breakfast, as the sight was triggering an awful churning in your stomach. Before you could turn your attention elsewhere, his eyes met yours and the same smirk found its way to his lips. You rolled your eyes at him before going off on your way. That was until the menace strolled up in front of you with his hands in his pocket.

“Enjoying the view so much, you had to stop and stare at me for a full minute?” He chuckled, walking backward since you hadn’t stopped walking forward. The cocky grin never left his face and your urge to push him off a cliff didn’t either.

“I thought I recognized one of the girls that you were with.” You blatantly lied, thinking of the first excuse that came to mind. “Speaking of the girls, where did they go?”

Heeseung’s grin only grew bigger at your lame excuse. His arms came to stop you from proceeding forward. “Don’t you know it’s rude to ‌walk away from someone when they’re trying to strike up an ethical conversation? They left after I told them I had something more interesting to do.” He smirked. “Plus, you suck at lying, don’t you? Your eyes dart whenever you lie. Did you know?”

He was damn good at analyzing people, and you knew he’d probably use that to impress the girls on campus who seemed to faint from his presence. “Morally ethical, huh? Sorry to burst your bubble, but nothing about you is morally ethical.”

“Oh, is that so?” Heeseung inched closer to you, and after quite a few steps back, you found your heels hitting the walls. There was no more space for you to back up against, and the sly smirk never left his face as he proceeded to step forward. He now only stood a few inches away from you — way too close for a mere stranger. “And how would you know?”

“I don’t,” you spat before harshly nudging the boy backward. “Just leave me alone, will you?” You mumbled, watching the boy stumble backward, amused by your actions.

“And would you like to?” Heeseung still managed to speak after you clearly rejected his advances. “You know I’m really good with my-“

“Shut your trap Heeseung.” You hissed, once again attempting to escape the awkward situation.

“You said my name for the first time!” He spoke enthusiastically. “The way it rolls off your tongue sounds really nice. You should say it more often!” He smirked, leaning back against the wall, not attempting to chase you.

You didn’t even bother glancing back at the boy, knowing if you did, you would be met with his painfully attractive smirk. Instead, you flipped the boy your middle finger.

Your seat in the consulting office behind the desk felt rather odd. You hadn’t found out anything revolutionizing or world-changing about the boy, but you still sat in your seat — waiting for Yeeun to prance in and listen to all the information you collected. You honestly had nothing to say that was worthy of her time, and you even thought about canceling your appointment. That was only until you saw the girl push her way through the library doors, on her way to visit you in the small room you had in the quiet space.

“Yn!” she exclaimed as soon as she set foot in the room. “I was so excited for today I barely could eat! My stomach is churning! It’s so thrilling!”

You offered the girl a forced chuckle before flipping open your notebook. “Well, you see…” You trailed off, not knowing where to start. “To be honest, since it’s only been a few days and I haven’t really gotten the chance to see him much? But from the information I gathered, he seems to be a very head-strong person who’s very dedicated to his own craft.”

“Oh, no worries!” The smaller girl giggled. “Even hearing about his achievements makes me happy. You know he’s the captain of the rugby team, right? Isn’t that so cool? I wish I could’ve attended his game a few days back, but I had prior arrangements.”

You were almost glad she hadn’t come. What would be the outcome of her seeing Heeseung’s eyes glued onto you throughout the entire game like you had a target on your back? Or maybe, if she did come, his eyes would be on her instead.

“Yes, he’s a very high achieving person. But besides that, he seems like he’s an easy person to strike up a conversation with. So that’s a win for you, right?” You smiled at her enthusiasm. She really liked him, didn’t she? Even talking about him made the corner of her lips perk up into a shy smile.

“Yes, yes, it is. He won’t get bored with me if I can’t think of anything to say, right?”

You rolled your eyes before chuckling at your innocent upperclassman. “Of course Yeeun! He’ll be the one that won’t be able to shut up.”

Yeeun giggled at your comment and checked her phone quickly. “I actually have a short meeting today, so I may have to cut our appointment a little short. Is that okay?”

You gave the girl an affirming smile. “Of course, I didn’t really have too much information today anyway. But next week at the same time?”

She nodded, pushing her chair in before waving at you and exiting the room.

You let out a sigh of relief, organizing your notes before you, too, decided to exit this stuffy room. The library was a big, bright place full of windows and you didn’t want to be cooped up in a room with no natural light whatsoever.

As soon as you locked the door of the consulting office, you felt a strong gaze on the back of your head.

Maybe you should’ve stayed in the room.

“I should consider myself lucky, right? I was dreading coming here, but it seems like it’ll be quite entertaining instead.” His voice was loud enough for the reception desk to send the two of you glares.

“Why the hell do I always bump into you? Are you sure you’re not following me or something?” You wanted to curse him out for his timing. If he had come just a few minutes earlier, you could’ve perfectly set him up with Yeeun.

Heeseung scoffed at your assumption. Him following you? Why would he ever do that? “You can daydream all you want, sweetheart, but sorry to break it to you. I wasn’t.”

You, happy with his answer, gave the boy a sarcastic smile. “Oh, is that so? Well then, if you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave now.”

Maybe Heeseung did want to follow you right now as his hand quickly grabbed your wrist, turning you back around. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t think I’ve made it clear enough. I’m going A W A Y. F R O M. Y O U.” You annotated every word with a certain passive-aggressiveness.

“I’ll tag along then.” He grinned. “You’re walking towards the back tables of the library. Near the windows, am I right?”

Shaking your wrist out of his grip, you turned around once again. “I don’t think I ever invited you.”

The boy stood staring at you as you made your way to the far back corner of the library, settling your books on the desk. You were decently surprised when he didn’t follow you.

Or so you thought.

“Who needs an invitation?” Heeseung dragged the chair across from you over to your side as he plopped down and leaned on the tabletop, way too close to your face. “It’s a public space, am I right?”

How many times had he done this already? Invading your personal space without giving a single fuck about how you felt.

But how did you feel?

You felt his hot breath hitting the nape of your neck, and you watched how his long eyelashes fluttered as he opened and closed his eyes. He was good-looking; you had to admit that. But you had no interest whatsoever.

Right?

“Move, you literally could sit anywhere else.” You shoved the boy slightly.

Unfazed by your attitude, he only chuckled, making your rage grow. “You know, if it were any other girl, they’d be begging for me to stay, right?”

“Oh, is that so? Well, then what should I do, huh? Apologize?” You spat, annoyed with his entitled attitude.

“Nah, you should do something else.” He leaned back in his chair while crossing his arms.

“And what is that?”

“Let me see what you were writing in your diary the other day.” He smirked, raising his eyebrow in amusement as he awaited your answer.

“First of all, it’s not a diary. Second, I wasn’t writing about you, and third, I have a right to privacy for my belongings.”

“Then if you’re not gonna show me your notebook or whatever, let me stay here.” He shot you a winning grin, placing his phone on the table to secure his spot.

“You did that just so you could stay, huh?” He always had a way with his words and your desire to punch him only grew.

“Oh, looks like I’ve been caught red-handed, huh?” He chuckled, leaning back on the table and staring at your constantly changing expressions. It would be an understatement to say that Heeseung enjoyed the way you talked to him. He had never felt such a thrill in his life other than the first time he rebelled against his parents in high school. You were bringing that spark back into his life and he didn’t want it to extinguish.

You shifted uncomfortably, directing your gaze back to the stack of textbooks you had brought with you for studying purposes. “What are you gonna get out of staying here and wasting your life away?” You mumbled, quite bothered by his presence.

He smiled, placing his finger on his chin whilst pretending to ponder. Maybe it was the sunlight hitting his face, but your gaze only remained on his eyes that shone a golden brown in the light. They glittered when he blinked, and somehow you felt time freeze once more. How many times had this boy made you feel like the revolving word had stopped? You were in a stupid library, contemplating if you should study, yet here you are, staring into some boy’s eyes while he pretended to think of some excuse.

Thank god he was looking away, or else you’d definitely be receiving a mouthful from him.

“I’m gonna watch you study. Maybe I’ll pick up some studying habits?” He blurted out after a good three minutes.

You scoffed, looking away after he had met your gaze again. “That doesn’t sound too fitting to your character.”

“I’m pretty sure you have to get to know someone before you fully judge their character. Am I right, miss cupid?”

Miss cupid?

Had he known you were part of the cupids club, spending your spare time matchmaking?

Or worse. Did he know your client was gunning for him?

“I heard you were in some matchmaking club. But I highly doubt that seeing the way you interact.” Heeseung remarked, playing with your pad of colourful sticky notes.

“So you’re a stalker?!” you gasped.

“No, I-I’m not!”

—

Maybe it wasn’t that bad — having Heeseung accompany you. He spent hours taking turns from staring at you, then to your textbook. Sometimes the boy would lean in to stare at your notes and you could feel your cheeks heating up at the proximity. You had slapped yourself a couple of times, snapping yourself out of this unfamiliar daze. It felt almost improper to spend time with your client’s love interest. But you were glad now. The sun had set and Heeseung was slumped over the table, sleeping comfortably on the stack of your textbooks. You giggled at the sight. Somehow, he looked almost innocent and unlike his regular smug self. His body moved up and down slightly. You didn’t want to bother the boy who was sleeping so soundly — but he was lying on top of your textbooks. It wouldn’t hurt if you just tapped him awake, right? Just as your hand approached to grab your books, the boy groaned slightly, wrapping his arms tightly around the stack of your textbooks. You almost let out a loud laugh as you saw the boy bringing the textbooks closer to him to get more comfortable. Who knew the infamous rugby captain needed to cuddle something to fall asleep?

You decided not to wake the boy as he would probably get cranky or start throwing a fit. You had enough of the boy’s attitude for a day — frankly for the rest of your life. Taking off the jacket you had, you placed it gently on his broad shoulders before you stuck the small post-it-note you had written a few minutes ago in front of him, on the table.

You fell asleep :/// See; I told you ‌that you should’ve done something better with your time! You could’ve gone to a party or even practiced your sport, but instead, you spent your time here! Also, I hope you don’t drool on my textbooks; they were hella expensive. I didn’t take them because I didn’t wanna wake you up. Return those to me tomorrow and bring my jacket too! (Yes, I left my jacket for you. Not because I care for you, but because it actually gets really chilly since they turn on the AC :( whatever, just make sure you return everything.)

And what you didn’t know was that Heeseung didn’t care about “wasting time,” because all he really desired was to rest — escape from all the burdens and titles he carried.

ENTRY LOG #2

Heeseung seems to be bearable when he’s not trying to sweet talk. His conversations, besides that, are actually genuine. He also seems to have ears everywhere. Whenever he wants to know something, he’ll be able to get stacks of information on that person. Besides that, he’s pretty entertaining? I think he just needs someone that genuinely likes him for him, instead of for his outlook. He may seem all “I’m the best” and flirty, but something tells me his smiles aren’t genuine. He needs someone to appreciate him for who he is… and Yeeun is perfect.

You had spent hours the next few days working on your midterm seminar with your group mates, who didn’t seem to comprehend the importance of this group assignment. Meets ups happened frequently and your group mates listened well to your instructions. However, when they were off on their own to complete their personal assigned sections, most of them would slack off until the last minute. As the final slide organizer, you spent most of your time waiting for your group mates to hand in their completed parts to insert into the slides.

But it was already 11:30pm, and you were so close to crashing on the library desk you had been sitting at for the past four hours. Tapping your fingers impatiently, you opened and closed your text messages with your group members, hoping someone would send something in. You all had agreed on sending in your parts before 10pm, ensuring you had enough time to organize everything and get a good night of sleep before the seminar tomorrow morning. However, there wasn’t a single peep from your group mates and it was already halfway to twelve. Feeling the weight of all the stress, your eyelids began to grow heavy. A short nap wouldn’t harm you, and there was nothing better to do anyway. Setting your alarm for 12:30 am, you rested your head onto your forearm as you dozed off into dreamland.

—

Heeseung found it hard to stay at home. The boy was bombarded with nonstop noise coming from every corner of the house. On a normal day, he wouldn’t be bothered by the constant arguing between Jake and his girlfriend or the loud ass giggles coming from Sunghoon’s room. But today, all he felt was his shooting headache, and the noise surrounding him only added to his agony. He needed to get out.

The first thing that came to mind was the therapeutic library environment he had experienced while watching you cram for your seminar. Yearning for the same feeling, he found himself stuffing his keys in his jacket pocket as he decided to take a little night walk to the University’s library. The walls of windows would probably look even more stunning with the moonlight shining through.

Yes, he wanted to experience the same feeling he had the last time, but he didn’t expect to see you slumped over on the same table, sleeping soundly. Smiling to himself, the boy sat down in the seat across from you, watching as your body rose up and down slightly. In his eyes, you were constantly busy with no down time whatsoever. He had always wondered if you could get sufficient sleep every day. You rarely had nights where you would get enough rest, and Heeseung could tell. You wouldn’t be dozing off in the school’s library if you weren’t swamped with loads of work.

Maybe it was the way you gripped onto the edge of your laptop, hugging it like a pillow, but Heeseung couldn’t help but feel a need to protect you, to shield you away from all the bad in the world. The boy spent the next ten minutes staring out the window, accompanying you as you slept. Just from sitting in silence, he could feel his headache slowly creeping away.

The slight buzz of his phone startled him, shaking him from his short-lived relaxation. It was a text from Jake.

Jake: Hey sorry bro. I heard you leaving, and I figured it was because of the noise. She’s gone now, so you’re free to come back.

Just as he was about to ignore the text and return to his little moment of bliss, his phone buzzed once more.

Jake: Actually, you should come back now. There’s a fucking cockroach in the washroom and Sunghoon is busy having fun in his room. I ain’t tryna see him naked, so comeback and kill this roach.

Heeseung figured Jay had already gone to sleep and Jake was probably crouching in the bathroom, staring the roach down, watching its every move. Sunghoon was practically useless when it came to bugs. Even if he wasn’t preoccupied, he wouldn’t lift a finger to kill the bug. Sighing, Heeseung quietly stood up from his chair, trying his best not to wake you. This time he’d return the favour. Taking off his jacket, he carefully placed it over your shoulders.

As he was about to leave, his eyes landed on the same pad of sticky notes he had fidgeted with the last time he watched you study. Grabbing the pen from your unzipped pencil case, he scribbled a quick note before placing it on the top of your laptop. Heeseung wished he could stay for longer, but he knew Jake would grill him nonstop if he didn’t return to kill a small fucking bug.

—

Your alarm rang, the buzzing shaking you awake. Maybe taking a brief nap was a good idea because you woke up to blaring notifications from your group chat, sending you the completed work, and a small pink sticky note.

A small pink sticky note?

This wasn’t here when you fell asleep.

And neither was the black jean jacket that was carefully wrapped around your shoulders.

You're practically drooling on your laptop. What if it burns? Aren’t you proud that I didn’t wake you up? I know you would probably start scolding me for being out here at such ungodly hours, but you too??? What are you doing, sleeping in such an unsafe spot? Sorry I couldn’t stay, but I left my jacket with you since you said it gets chilly. Hopefully, this makes up for the last time. I returned the favour, but you don’t have to return the jacket. Keep it. Anyway, go to the lounge on the second floor when you wake up. There are pillows there and it’ll be much more comfortable to sleep there. Don’t go home. It’s late, and it’s unsafe to travel alone. You can head back when the sun rises, but not when it's pitch black outside, okay?

Oh also, I usually carry chocolate in my pocket (don’t ask why). There should be a Hersey’s bar in the pocket of my Jean jacket. Eat it, okay?

Heeseung had been here? Why was he out so late? Why did he come to the library?

You had many questions, but the main issue you had to deal with wasn’t the lack of answers, but the smile forming on your face as you read his note. Your heart was beating a little faster than usual, but you still sat there, oblivious to your own feelings.

After the library incident, you bumped into Heeseung quite frequently. Every day, he’d find a way to make an appearance in your life, even if it was just sending you a playful wink as you passed each other on campus. When not surrounded by girls or his weird druggy friends, he would often strike up a conversation with you, even if you tried to push him away. He enjoyed teasing you, and somehow, it didn’t feel quite as odd as it did before.

“Your outfit is quite nice.” He commented, leaning against the column. He scanned you up and down before shooting you one of his signature smirks.

“Don’t look at me like that. I internally puke every time.” You faked a gag, waving the boy off.

“Did you think I was checking you out? Because you don’t have to worry, there’s nothing to check out.” He cackled, pushing himself off the column and towards you. “Where are you headed today? The library again?”

You hummed in response. “I have an appointment.”

Heeseung’s interest immediately piqued. “Oh right! I forgot I was talking to Miss Cupid here. Who’s your client? I’m curious.”

It was against the rules to tell him about your client, especially when he was the target. “I’m not gonna tell you. It’s confidential information.”

Usually, Heeseung would just laugh it off and leave you off to your own business, but today, he found it extremely hard not to meddle. The boy pushed you against the lockers, staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed. He somehow felt annoyed by the fact that you were going to ditch him for your client right after he got the chance to talk to you.

“H-Heeseung? What are you doing?” You gasped at the sudden impact of your back hitting the lockers. His expression had suddenly dropped, and you were left confused as to why he was so angry and why he had shoved you against some locker.

The boy only moved closer, placing his hand on the wall of lockers beside you. His breath was practically fanning your lips at this point. You squeezed your eyes shut. It was an instinct. There was something about the way he was staring at you that made you feel almost small and weak.

Heeseung was confused. Was it jealousy? Was he jealous of your stupid client that got to spend time with you? It seemed like every time he had a chance to speak to you, you would attempt to blow him off as soon as possible. Mostly, when he wanted to see you, his friends would drag him away to some party, and he’d end up getting drunk, forgetting his desire to see you as he fell deeper into intoxication. But finally he had some time to spare, without his friends up his ass and here you were, waving him off for some stupid client.

He wasn’t jealous; he was just angry that you completely disregarded his feelings — at least that’s what he told himself.

Seeing you squeeze your eyes tightly shut, he finally came to his senses, backing away before sighing. “My bad. Um, yeah, as I was saying, your outfit looks nice today. I like your barret.” He remarked dryly as he watched your eyes slowly flicker open. “I’ll get going now. Sorry about that.”

With that, heeseung left you alone, leaning against the lockers. Your heart felt as if it were a contestant for some Olympic race. Why did something so simple have your cheeks flaming? What was this feeling that caused your breath to waver and become unsteady?

Heeseung was your client’s target. You had to get that into your head. You had no right feeling this way.

Scurrying to the consulting office, you saw Yeeun fiddling with her fingers while sitting in the seat across from your designated one. She had arrived early — or instead, your little encounter had you running late. “Sorry about the wait, Yeeun!” You apologized profusely while entering the room.

“No worries, Yn!” I was really excited to see you again. “I actually wanted to ask you for a favour today.”

Placing your bag onto the wooden desk, you pulled out your chair, settling in. “A favour? Yeah, of course, what’s up?”

“Well,” Yeeun nervously grinned. “I’m attending a guest lecture today and I heard from a friend that Heeseung is coming! I just wanted to make a good impression. Do you know what I should wear?”

Your mind immediately flashed to Heeseung’s words a few minutes ago. “I like your barret.”

“Oh actually um,” you gave the girl a small reassuring smile. “I saw him in the halls today and I heard him saying he liked barrets. Maybe you could wear one?”

“I actually don’t have one. I can’t buy one either, since the lecture is in about an hour.” Yeeun sighed, wishing she owned more hats.

“You can take mine?” You suggested, taking your hat off before combing your hair through with your fingers. “You’ll look good in it and your hair is also slightly curly today! It looks good with slight curls!”

Yeeun gasped, politely accepting your offer. “Oh my, is that why your hair is always curled when you wear hats? It always looks so good!”

You giggled, motioning for her to try it on. “Yep! I spent a short while curling my hair today just for it.”

“How does it look?” Yeeun questioned, turning her head slightly from left to right after putting the hat on.

“It looks flawless! I mean, you always do, but the hat really accentuates your tall nose bridge!” You exclaimed, holding up your front phone camera for her to examine herself.

“What Yn, you’re right! It looks really good!” she squealed. “Plus, my outfit is similar to yours today, so it matches!”

“Yeah! So wear it!” You shot Yeeun another smile before going into your bag to pull out your notebook. “So since we already got you looking the part, I’ll just tell you about the new information I found out this week.”

“Sounds good!” Yeeun scooted closer to the desk, thrilled to hear about your new findings.

…

“Yes, so never reject a party invitation from him, okay?”

“Yes! I got it.” Yeeun gave you a small thumbs up. “But what if he doesn’t invite me to one of his parties?”

“Then casually ask him if he's holding one this week.” You grinned. “I mean, he hosts one, or at least his friend group hosts one every week at their frat house.”

“Right,” Yeeun pondered for a second before speaking again. “Is it that important to attend one of his parties?”

You didn’t know how to respond. Something in you wanted to end this whole cupid exchange quick, and you knew the best way for her to get his attention was at his stupid parties. You planned to doll Yeeun up when she officially got invited by him. These parties didn’t require invitations, but it was important to have Heeseung personally invite Yeeun. He would know she would be coming and would expect her to greet him when she arrived — that already was a benefit. “Yes, Yeeun! He needs to know you’re coming, remember?”

“Oh, right!” She exclaimed, beaming with excitement. “Then I’ll try my best to talk to him today. I’ll get going now! Thank you once again Yn, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Your last words left a bitter taste in your mouth. Why was your stomach churning so uncomfortably? It's almost like you hated the idea — the idea of them flirting or making out at one of his parties.

Heeseung regretted every minute of his morning, replaying his encounter with you repeatedly like a broken cassette player, until he felt almost dizzy. He didn’t mean to come off so harshly, yet whenever he saw you, he just wanted you to remain in his view until he himself was forced to leave. He remembered the expression in your eyes and how they grew almost fearful. Somehow it made him feel as if he was in the wrong, as if he were the one to blame for your shaking legs. Initially, he was intrigued by your lack of interest and aloof attitude towards him, but now it only bothered him, crushing his dignity firmly with no sense of remorse. It was almost as if you despised his presence and would go to extreme lengths to stay clear of the boy.

But that didn’t explain the goosebumps that ran up your neck when his breath fanned your lips.

Much to his disfavor, the boy's phone buzzed continually in his back pocket. His father had been pressuring him to attend a special guest lecture to make up for his lack of efforts in his other classes. He had been dreading it for the entire week, and he knew skipping would only earn him a mouthful. Some lecture about some “intriguing discussions about the human mind, darker drives and psychological analysis.” He had no interest whatsoever, and the only thing driving him was the party at the end of the dreadful week. Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he made his way down the looping brick hall, leading him to the lecture hall with the purple plush seats. He didn’t care too much since he would probably sit near the back and doze off behind some committed student who actually attended to learn. Waving lazily to the girls who stared at him with googly eyes, he felt almost sick of doing the same thing. No longer did he find it fun to watch a random girl squirm at the fact that they were acknowledged by the school’s infamous rugby captain. Instead, he found it tiring. He had grown weary to the customs of winking at every passing person. Their excitement clearly did not phase him in the slightest anymore.

The lecture hall was rather silent, opposite of what he thought it’d be like. The only thing he was expecting was over excited students who were too passionate about the subject and enjoyed blabbing constantly about it. He expected everyone to fit the prototype he had created in his head during his tread over. Instead of conforming to his thoughts, most people were in their own seats, scrolling through their phones. Sighing, Heeseung slowly made his way up the stairs. His arrival earned a few slight gasps from a few of the younger students, but he ignored them, focusing on gaining a perfect spot for his little nap.

That was only until he saw you with your head down, buried in your arms. You were wearing the same berret. He chuckled, carefully approaching you, making sure he didn’t make a sound. Maybe this lecture wouldn’t be too bad and maybe he could apologize for what had occurred this morning.

“Hey miss cupid, didn’t know I’d find you here.” Heeseung spoke softly, giving you a soft tap on your head. “Didn’t know you were interested in dark psychology. But at the same time, I feel like it’s very fitting.” Settling his bag on the small pull out table attached to his seat, he wrapped his arm around your chair as he watched you groan slightly, lifting your head.

“Excuse me? Who’s miss cupid?” Yeeun lifted her head, only to face the last person she expected to sit next to her. “Wait, oh my… um hi! Hi Heeseung.”

Heeseung’s face dropped immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Removing his arm, he quickly shifted uncomfortably, clearing his throat in the process. How could he have mixed you up with someone who didn’t look remotely like you? It was the hat, the fucking hat. He cursed under his breath repeatedly, resting his head on his palm, attempting to distract himself from the embarrassment. He had really just sat in the most evident spot, where the professor could spot him in a single second. Maybe if his mind wasn’t flooded with thoughts of you, he’d make a rational decision and analyze the person in front of him first. Why the fuck was he so desperate?

“Oh, did you mix me up with someone?” Yeeun tapped the boy on the shoulder, shaking him out of his daze. Her smile faded when she saw the boy squint at her, shaking his head as he frowned. Did she do something? Why did he look so uninterested? Didn't Yn say that the hat might help her out?

“Yeah, I guess. Sorry, it’s my fault. I should’ve looked more carefully.” He spoke, forcing a smile to wave off the girl’s concern.

Yeeun couldn’t be happier to see the boy smile again. Her cheeks grew hot as the pair held eye contact for a few seconds. “Oh well, um,” she began. “My name is Yeeun. Hopefully next time you won’t get me mixed up with someone else.”

"Oh yeah, uh sure.”

“I’ve heard of you before,” Yeeun spoke, this time in a softer tone. “You’re the captain of the rugby team, right? I really enjoyed watching you play last year. This year I didn’t have the chance to attend any of your games because of my busy schedule, but I will for sure make time. Speaking of time, I have time this weekend but sadly there’s no game this week. I wish I had come last time. My friend went, and she said you—”

“Wow, that’s interesting, well I mean there is a party this week. I guess you could come.” Heeseung intervened, his tone lacking any sort of enthusiasm. He knew what this was. Another one of those girls trying to appeal to him; kiss up to him so they could get some special invitation from him. Or the other option; they wanted to get in his pants. There was no in-between and Heeseung was sick. How many times had he experienced the same conversation in the past four years? Previously, he might’ve flirted back, but somehow he was absolutely turned off by Yeeun’s advances.

“Oh my god, really? A personal invitation from you?” Yeeun’s expressionbrightened, along with her smile.

Heeseung shot her a forced lazily grin. “Yeah, just give me your number. I’ll text you the address and time.” She was so excited and for what? He didn’t understand how an invitation could influence someone this greatly. They had parties almost every two weeks. Had she never gone to one? Offering his phone to the girl, he sat back, watching Yeeun type in her number ecstatically, fingers slightly quivering. He already knew. She found interest in him, and he couldn’t help but feel bored at that revelation.

“I’ll be sure to come.” Yeeun giggled softly, returning Heeseung's phone. “I might bring a plus one. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, anyone is welcome. Do whatever you wish.”

And the rest of the lecture went swiftly. Heeseung could see the girl next to him steal glances at him now and then. He could see the twinkle in her eyes and how they shined when her gaze landed on him. She most definitely enjoyed his company, unlike someone he knew. But he couldn't say the same.

Upon dismissal, Heeseung didn’t spare a single glance at Yeeun before barging his way through his row, attempting to get to the doors as quickly as possible. Still left in a daze, Yeeun felt the giddy jumping in her stomach as she watched the boy’s broad shoulders squeeze through the jumbling crowd. She liked him even more now. The handsome, tall and kind Lee Heeseung, who was kind enough to invite her to his party.

Heeseung felt void of emotions. His body felt numb and his expression remained blank as he slammed the lecture door, leaving Yeeun’s sight. His surroundings were blurred out by his thoughts that swarmed and suffocated him.

Why did he feel no joy in seeing people swoon over him?

Why was this morning’s incident still stuck in his head like super glue, permanent and unremovable, that only a painful amount of scrubbing, scratching and rinsing could remove? Heeseung was unable to get his mind off you, and he didn’t have the energy to wash away his feelings when his thoughts blocked his freedom.

The realization of his feelings was something new to him.

But Heeseung feared acceptance.

His hands automatically swiped at his phone, dialing the first number on his contact list.

“1”

He needed a distraction.

“What the fuck? Where do you need to go?” Your jaw hung wide open at your best friend, who only shot you a nervous grin as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“I’m sorry Yn, please?” Ryujin shot her puppy-like expression at you, begging for you to say yes.

“Okay, first off, why the fuck are you going to see Park Sunghoon, and second, why do I need to drive your ass there? Drive yourself!” You rolled your eyes, bringing your focus back to your dinner you had cooked for yourself.

“Okay, I Just need to give him something, but I just need you to drop me off because ‘he’ knows my car plate and I don’t want him to misunderstand the situation.” Ryujin pleaded.

You had to remind yourself that “he” was the young manager Ryujin had been seeing, who lived around the area of Sunghoon’s fraternity home. “What do you mean, misunderstand? So you want me to wait for you until you return this ‘item’ and then drive you back?”

“Precisely!” Ryujin shot you a thumbs up, which was followed by a nervous grin. “If he sees that I’m with a friend, then he won’t get suspicious.”

You squinted at the girl. “Yeah, but whatever this whole ‘returning the item shit’ is, it’s already fishy to me.”

“No, I swear it isn’t, just please get in the car. Sunghoon’s an impatient person.”

And that’s how you found yourself stepping on the siege green door mattress, neatly placed in front of Sunghoon’s fraternity house. Ryujin pressed on the doorbell once and a long stretch of silence followed through. She then proceeded to bang on the door repeatedly. Ryujin was also an impatient person. “He’s really testing my patience today, huh?” Ryujin groaned, pacing around the door in small semi-circles.

You stood beside her, bored out of your mind. You could’ve been productive in the time wasted by Ryujin, who was too scared to get “caught” returning some stupid ass item. Maybe he wasn’t home, and he pranked your best friend to come over, just to waste her time. He seemed like that type of person. Waiting in the car sounded like a better idea than waiting out here on their doorsteps in the cold. Just as you were about to turn around, the door slammed open to a disheveled—

“Heeseung?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as your eyes scanned the man standing in the doorway. He leaned lazily on the open door, barely holding on to the frame of the entrance. He was wearing an oversized flannel, barely clinging onto his shoulders that hung only partially buttoned, revealing most of his bare chest. Your eyes grew big as you noticed the dark red love marks that decorated his neck, all the way to the lower half of his upper body, which was shielded by his flannel.

You were sure the marks didn’t stop there.

“Shit. Yn?” Heeseung was not expecting you. He had only come to his senses after the long pause of him opening the door. He had thought maybe Sunghoon had forgotten his keys, or maybe Jake was too drunk to even search for his. In no world did he think he’d open the door to you, standing at his doorway with an unreadable expression.

“Heeseung, what’s taking you so long?” You heard a voice emerging from behind him, her voice laced with fatigue but also a strong sense of desire.

You knew.

You knew what was going on.

“Yn, I can explain.” Heeseung rustled his already messy hair. You could clearly read his expression from the way his eyebrows arched downwards, to the firm line his lips were pressed into.

Shaking your head slightly, you squeezed your eyes shut. “What is there for you to explain?” You spoke in a stern voice, attempting to hide the quivering of your words.

“Heeseung, who is it?” You heard the honey laced voice another time.

Without any hesitation, you pushed Heeseung back into the warmth of his house before slamming the door shut. The cold air fanned your face, and the contrast stung like needles. Or maybe it was the disturbing churning in your stomach that made you feel almost sick. Maybe it wasn’t the cold that pierced your body, but the realization that hit you hard in the head, knocking you back to reality.

Why did it hurt to see him like that?

Why did you even care? What did it matter to you?

You always knew. Heeseung was the biggest player on campus, but somehow you didn't know why you expected him to differ from his reputation. You had seen him on campus with his hands around a girl’s waist before, so why did it hurt you so much to see him today?

Ryujin stood on the side, this time her mouth hanging wide open. What did she just witness? She knew her best friend, she read you like an open book, and she understood every expression and twitch in your facial expression. She had just witnessed her best friend’s heart shattering into pieces.

ENTRY LOG #3

Fuck Lee Heeseung. He isn’t kind, nor does he have any redeeming qualities. He isn’t someone to pursue if you're looking for something long-term. He’s an absolute jerk who lies through his teeth and he — it doesn’t matter. Yeeun should give up on him. He’ll just hurt her in the end.

Entry logs were supposed to be professional.

No feelings were supposed to be involved.

You dreaded your next meeting with Yeeun. Once again, you had nothing positive to report to her. You had been labeled the most professional member of the club, yet you failed to deliver any actual substance. Maybe this was a sign to quit the club once and for all. You would have to pull out your logbook full of scribbles and curse words at your client’s love interest.

It was unprofessional of you. But the only main issue was your feelings.

Why the heck did your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when you saw Heeseung the other night? It wasn’t like you two had anything going on — you knew that for sure. But then why did his expression fall into utter fear when he saw you on his own doorstep? Why did he feel the need to explain? Wasn’t this one of his normal, frequent activities? If so, why did his eyes yearn to apologize?

Snap out of it. You had to bring yourself back to reality.

What mattered now was that Heeseung was your client’s love interest and nothing mattered more other than getting them together — even if he was a jerk. You had no responsibility for how relationships would grow and break after your service. Frankly, you got them together, and that’s all that mattered. It wasn’t your fault if they ended up breaking up, because that was something you couldn’t control.

“I’ll just do what I always do,” you mumbled, shaking your head as you watched the faint movement of the clock. “Get them together. The end. No strings attached.”

There were five more minutes until your meeting with Yeeun, but surprisingly, the knock at your door came earlier than expected. She was smiling yet again, this time holding a set of sweet frappuccinos in her hand. The girl had an insane amount of manners. She stood outside the door even if she already knew you were fine with her bargaining in. She respected your privacy and only entered when you gave her a slight nod.

“Yn, you won’t guess what happened!” Yeeun squealed, placing the two diabetes-inducing drinks on the table. “I wanted to tell you as soon as possible, but I remembered ‌ that I didn’t have your number and had no actual other way to reach you.”

There was a strict rule in the whole “cupid’s service.” The relationship between you and your client would remain professional throughout the duration of your assistance. They would have no access to any of your personal information, and neither did you. The only thing you had to keep in contact with was your weekly scheduled meetings.

“What can be so exciting? You're all giddy!” In all honesty, you never understood the girl’s positivity. It was as if she was shielded by a ray of pure golden sunshine for her entire life. Darkness was a concept that strayed away from her, never crossing paths.

“Heeseung invited me to his party!” Yeeun chirped. “It was a personal invitation, too! He asked for my number and sent me the time and address! Do you think he likes me back? I mean, he invited me personally!”

Your smile immediately turned downwards at the mention of Heeseung. You found it odd that even after all the claims about him and his flings, she wouldn't slowly lose interest and move on. Instead, the girl only saw him as a knight in shining armor, who would walk with her in that path of purity, that ray of sunshine.

But she was delusional.

Forcing the best answer you could, you awkwardly closed your log book filled with pages of slander. “Uh, oh wow Yeeun! I'm so happy for you.” What more could you say? Heeseung invited anyone who wanted to attend his parties. There was no such thing as private invitations—

Unless…

Right, you had to be positive. This was your best chance at getting them together. “You should go, a hundred percent. You said he invited you, right? So he’ll probably want to see you there! We should decide on your outfit together.”

“Right!” Yeeun giggled in agreement. “Oh but Yn, I need to request another favour.”

Already scrolling through an online store catalog, you stopped to glance back at Yeeun, who had an almost apologetic expression plastered on her face. “The tone of your voice has me worried a bit. But go ahead, what's up?”

“I’m sorry, but could you please come to the party with me? All my friends are absolutely against the idea and I don’t want to be going to an unfamiliar place alone. I thought maybe since you’ve probably never been, we could navigate it together? Also, isn’t it best to go with a friend?”

Your mind immediately flashed back to the other night, standing in front of Heeseung’s doorway. An unfamiliar place? Yeah, you wished you could agree. “Yeeun, I’m sorry but,” You had to avoid this party at all costs.

Because you wanted to keep the relationship between you and Yeeun professional? That’s only what you told yourself.

You didn’t want to see him again. You didn’t even want to lay your eyes on the boy for a second.

“I get you wanna keep everything professional, but I really need your help! Just this once, I promise! Next time, I promise I won’t bother you about something like this again! You’ve just been so helpful and I really find comfort in you. Plus, maybe you could assist me with getting Heeseung there, right?”

Maybe she had a thing for rambling.

“Yeeun, I’m honored that you find comfort in me, but this is really something I cannot do for you. I can give you tips and I could also help you find a dress, or heck, even purchase one for you, but physically attending? That’s something I can’t do.” You spoke sternly, hoping she’d get the idea.

“But who’s gonna take me home? What if he invites me to drink? I can’t say no to him, and even worse, I can’t drive back under the influence!” Her eyebrows furrowed. She was getting more desperate.

“Then I’ll give you my number. You can call me and I’ll pick you up.”

“But that’s unprofessional!” Yeeun retorted. “I’m gonna have a hard time navigating this new environment. Could you just help me? Please?”

At this point, you knew the girl wasn’t going to back out until you accepted her request. Maybe you wouldn’t even see him. You could just drop her off and stick around outside and make up some random excuse that you're carsick. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. “Okay fine. But this time only.”

“Fingers crossed,” She giggled, standing up from her chair. “I’ll head off now since I have other plans! But we can meet here Friday night, I’ll pick you up. Make sure to bring your drivers license though! You’ll probably be the one driving us back! Oh yeah, and this drink is for you. I was going to bribe you with it but I’m glad it didn’t resort to it.” She waved at you before pushing her way out of your office.

Wow. Did she really think a cheap drink could buy your favour?

You were slowly losing respect for her. Who knew someone this smart could be so stupid in the real world. Being book smart doesn’t define your intelligence whatsoever.

Friday came faster than you expected and with a blink of an eye, you were sitting in the passenger seat of Yeeun’s silver Lexus that smelled as if it was brand new. They were going to a party, so why would she drive out her new car? It was a night of chaos and her perfectly painted car was a hundred percent prone to scratches, bumps and, worse off them all, vomit. Rolling down the windows, you stuck your face in the fresh air, attempting to mask the overwhelming smell of fresh leather. You dreaded this day, but somehow Yeeun didn’t seem to care one bit.

“Thank you so much for picking out a dress for me, Yn!” Yeeun broke the silence while keeping her eyes on the path ahead of her. “I’m glad we found an outfit suitable for you too! Your dress is really cute, but it doesn’t over shine mine, which is probably a good idea since I need to be the main highlight today.”

You had grown to realize that Yeeun wasn’t shy at all. She just needed time opening up and conveying her true thoughts. No wonder her works were all filled with complex feelings and a wide range of emotions. She didn’t have anywhere to convey her own, so writing them out was probably the most convenient for her. Yeeun was comfortable with you now, and that obliterated any filter she had masking her feelings. “Of course.” You awkwardly chuckled, staring back at the blurred silhouettes of landscapes passing by.

“We’re almost there,” Yeeun spoke again. “I can’t wait to see him! What do you think he’ll be wearing? Ripped jeans? A leather jacket? What do you think it is?”

“Definitely not a loose fitting flannel.” You blurted out, eyes still trained on the oddly shaped traffic light in the distance.

“Huh? A loose flannel? Why would that even come to mind?” Yeeun questioned. “Do you like when people wear oversized flannels?”

You choked, slightly coughing at her response. “No, it was just a random thought.”

A random thought?

No.

You still despised Heeseung for his flannel that told you everything. The way his face fell pale and the way he wanted to “explain.” Nothing made sense to you, and your thoughts were still tightly wrapped around that night.

Nothing made sense — not even your own feelings.

You didn’t know why you were so bothered and so angry at the boy. Every time you saw him after that night, your eyes would immediately dart away, fleeing his presence. He would attempt to run after you, but he would constantly lose your trail.

“Well, look at that. I can already hear the music and we’re only a block away.” Yeeun broke the silence once again.

“You might want to park your car around here,” you suggested. “It would be best if we walked over there instead. You wouldn’t want your car getting damaged by drunk students, would you?”

You were right, and Yeeun nodded happily. Complying with your suggestion, she pulled over, parking in front of a lawn, away from anyone’s garage lane. The housing was rather sparse in the area and none of the neighbors seemed to be bothered by the intense booming music coming from the party. Yeeun checked once again if her windows were rolled up completely before getting out of her car. Swiftly following her, you stepped out of the door from your side. You hadn’t even gone into the house, but you could already feel your soul leaving your body. You despised loud, chaotic environments — especially parties.

Yeeun scurried over to you, linking her arm with yours. “Isn’t this so exciting? Let’s find Heeseung as soon as we enter, okay?”

You squinted at her before reassuring her with a sarcastic smile. “Um, actually, I’m a little carsick. I think I’ll stay outside for a while.”

“No, you can’t do that!” She whined, shooting you an accusing pout. “At least greet him with me first. I told him I was gonna bring a plus one. You can go anywhere you want after.”

Demanding and inconsiderate. You had figured that she was just as stubborn as Heeseung.

“Fucking kind facade.” You mumbled under your breath, clearing your throat in the process.

“What?” Yeeun questioned with the same innocent eyes she had looked at you with the first time you two had met.

“Oh nothing, let’s go in.” You smiled.

Yeeun didn’t ask further questions. Blinded by her eagerness, she pulled you into the loud atmosphere littered with red plastic cups and confetti. The music was earsplitting, only making it possible to hear each other if you spoke up. “Shall we head to the main living room area? I heard he’s usually there with his friend group.” Yeeun attempted to shout over the music, covering her ears in the process. The speakers were right at the door, so maybe this was the reason the music overpowered.

You nodded hesitantly, and the girl didn’t waste a single second, dragging you further past the groups of students playing beer pong. Their drunken cheers of victory enticed you more than wherever the heck Yeeun was dragging you to.

“Oh, shit.” The shorter girl halted. “I see him.”

“Damn, do you have twenty, twenty vision or something? Because I can’t see shit.” You spoke with a lack of enthusiasm.

Yeeun turned around, facing you as she fidgeted with her fingers. “Do you see him over there? He’s surprisingly not wearing anything shockingly fashionable, but he still looks so good.” She gushed, looking down at her feet.

Once again, she reminded you. No matter how her personality took a turn, her feelings towards him were still the same — innocent and pure. She liked him a lot, and you could tell from the way her eyelashes fluttered as she spotted him.

Titling your head to the left, you looked in the direction where Yeeun was last staring. You spotted him almost immediately. He stood against a wall, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the same plastic red cup you had seen everyone with. Yeeun was right. He was dressed rather effortlessly, but he was still attractive. He wore a plain white t-shirt tucked neatly in his black straight-fit pants. His hair was styled and neatly parted, however, unlike regular days, more of his forehead was exposed today. He looked mature, unlike his daily boy-ish looks. “Well, it’s your chance. Go up to him.” You encouraged, trying your best to feel the same excitement Yeeun had felt.

“Crap, he looks so good. I don’t know if I’ll be able to say anything. What if I get tongue twisted? You’ll help me, right?” Yeeun panicked slightly, her eyes darting everywhere.

You gave the girl another reassuring nod. How many times would you have to reassure her today? “Yeah, just go up to him.”

Yeeun took a few breaths in and out, calming herself. “Okay, let me reorient myself.”

With Yeeun still facing away from Heeseung, you stole another glance at the group he was standing with. You spotted Sunghoon, the puppy looking boy and the other boy with the sharp features. You had recognized them from the rugby game, as their faces weren’t the easiest to forget. Before you could divert your attention back to the panicking Yeeun, your eyes met a familiar pair of inky dark eyes. Through his hooded lids, Heeseung looked up at you from the rim of the plastic cup he was drinking out of. He held eye contact, his gaze piercing right through you.

Instead of looking away, you stared back at him. Your surroundings seemed to disperse into nothingness as you fell deeper into his gaze that devoured all light with its intensity. You felt your stomach flip inside out as the boy kept his gaze trained on you.

How could he be so confident after that incident?

He really felt nothing, huh?

“Yn? Yn?” Yeeun was already snapping her fingers at your dazed expression. “What are you looking at? You’re making me more nervous.”

“Oh shit. I'm sorry, I didn’t mean it.” You stammered, forcing another one of your fake smiles.

Yeeun rolled her eyes. “You’re constantly zoning out today, but I’ll let it go since you’re helping me out.” Maybe the girl had felt a sudden surge of confidence because she was now holding onto your wrist, pulling you towards the group of boys. She stopped right in front of the four of them and cleared her throat, signaling for their attention. You stood behind the girl, attempting to divert your attention back to the kids playing beer pong.

“Oh? Who’s this?” The puppy looking boy spoke in an amused tone. “I’ve never seen you before. Are you new here?”

“Wow shut up bro, ask for her name first.” The boy with the sharper features stated.

You could see Yeeun fidgeting with the helm of her skirt. Heeseung wasn't even looking at the anxious girl in front of him. Instead, his eyes were glued on you, who seemed concerned about Yeeun’s nervous state.

“Oh wait,” Sunghoon pushed Yeeun slightly, moving her off to the side. He was moving towards you. “You, you’re Yn aren’t you? Ryujin’s friend.”

You lifted your gaze up to meet Sunghoon’s amused stare. Shit. Yeeun looked pissed. She had been completely disregarded by the boys, and Heeseung didn’t even seem to recognize her. “Oh yeah, hi.” You responded dryly.

“Oh wait, you’re Yn?” the puppy boy spoke again. “Heeseung mentioned you before, isn’t that right?” He nudged his friend on the shoulder, indulging in the conversation Sunghoon had established with you.

Your gaze found Heeseung once again. He didn’t speak. His face sat emotionless, void of any sort of reaction as he leaned back against the wall, sipping on his drink without responding to Jake.

“Sorry, he’s been a little out of it recently, I apologize for—"

“Doesn’t matter.” You blurted out. “Um, this is my friend Yeeun. She was invited by one of you, I’m assuming? She just wanted to say hi.” You wanted to avoid saying Heeseung’s name at all costs.

The boys looked at each other, confused. “Uh, I don’t think any of us invited her.” The boy with the sharper features spoke again, further extending his apologetic tone.

“I did.” Heeseung finally spoke up. “Well, she practically begged me to invite her. She bothered me about it for the whole lecture and she just couldn’t stop going on about how she wished she could be at my game. She kept batting her eyelashes at me as if her stupid falsies could seduce me or something. It was kind of sad, honestly. Actually, it’s embarrassing, seeing someone try so hard just to get notice—“

“What the fuck is your problem?” You viscously snapped at him. You could see Yeeun shaking slightly from the rude remarks Heeseung had thrown at her while inching close to her. He had taken someone’s genuine feelings and twisted them to sound like some obsession. You didn’t like Yeeun’s pushy attitude, but this was too much.

The other boys were stunned by your words, too scared to speak up. Yes, they had thought their friend had gone too far, but now that you spoke, there was no more room to intervene.

“What the fuck do you mean? What’s my problem?” Heeseung retorted. This time, his eyes burned with anger. He pushed his drink into Sunghoon’s grasp before pushing Yeeun to the side once again as he approached you.

“You can’t just say that about someone. Do you know how much your words can affect someone? Simply disregarding someone’s genuine feelings doesn’t make you cool. Just because you have a reputation doesn’t mean everyone fucking wants you. Stop acting so entitled because it’s gonna stab you in the back.” You hissed, ignoring how the room fell silent.

“Well, you know what? Your friend here seems to fucking want me, so your point isn’t getting through. She was practically drooling when she entered the fucking house.” Heeseung fired back.

He had already seen you two as soon as you both walked through the doors? Looking back at Yeeun, she shot you a venomous glare. You had completely ruined her chances with Heeseung, and now you were here arguing with him.

You were sick of this.

You had a feeling since day one, no one would walk out of this happy. You knew involving yourself would tangle up the situation, but you were already in too deep, trying to protect Yeeun’s image. Yet, she didn’t seem a tad thankful for your actions.

“Fuck this cupid shit.” You mumbled while scoffing. You didn’t know why Heeseung had targeted all his anger on you after he was the one who threw rude remarks at your friend. But more specifically, you didn’t know why he was so angry at you when he was the one caught in an unfortunate tango with some random girl. You remembered his apologetic eyes the first time he tried to explain. But now, all that was left was anger fuelling strongly in his heart. Maybe he just didn’t want you to tell everyone you had seen him that night and that’s why he tried to convince you with his sad eyes.

“You know what? Fuck you, all of you.” You fumed, turning around almost immediately. You didn’t want to be in this house for any second longer. Yeeun watched as you dashed out of the house, slamming the door in the process. She was pissed — pissed that you blew her chances.

“Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you today?” Sunghoon pushed the plastic cup back into Heeseung’s hand. “First you’re being irresponsive, now you’re being some actual fucking jerk. All this for what, huh? Apologize.”

Heeseung himself didn’t know what had gotten into him.

He had no reason to blow up in your face, nor did he have a reason to denounce Yeeun with such venomous remarks. He didn’t even know why he was so angry. The feeling that welled up in his stomach when he saw you enter the house with a smile on your face suffocated him. It’s not that he didn’t want to speak, he just couldn’t bring himself to.

“I need some fresh air.” Heeseung finally spoke up again, excusing himself from his confused friends, who only shouted at him to come back. Yeeun stood frozen, watching as the boy she so desired disappear into a crowd of people. He had ignored her presence first, made such negative remarks about her, and then, once again, disregarded her while leaving without a single apology. The rumors were lies. Heeseung wasn’t a swift player who swept people off their feet.

Instead, he was cruel and seemingly heartless. Yeeun’s view began to cloud and blur as tears welled up in her eyes.

…

Heeseung headed straight for the door. He once again felt the sudden urge to find you, to apologize for everything that had transpired this past week. You had looked at him with such disappointment. He felt a lump forming in his throat at the thought of you hating him. As soon as he made his way outside, the cold air sent shivers down his spine. Had it always been this cold? His gaze quickly darted in every direction, until he spotted you a block away, leaning against a car with your hands covering your face. Were you crying? But his words weren’t even directed towards you.

His trudge towards you felt almost painful as his feet grew heavier with every step. At this point, you had sensed someone coming in your direction. Looking up, you made direct eye contact with Heeseung, who stood frozen in front of you. You weren’t crying. Rather, you seemed frustrated, especially now in his presence. “Why the fuck are you here?” You spat, gaze piercing through his.

Heeseung’s eyes softened, erasing his lingering anger. He didn’t have the right to get angry with you in the first place, and now that he was alone with you, he no longer wanted to keep beefing. Swallowing the lump that reformed in his throat, Heeseung finally spoke up. “I’m here to apologize. Not just for today, but the other night, too.”

“What is there to apologize for?” You retorted.

You were afraid to break down in front of Heeseung.

You couldn’t let him know how devastated you had felt after you saw him the other night. Rather, you couldn’t even give him the slightest hint that you were affected by his actions.

You were right. What was there to apologize for? It’s not like he did anything wrong. But somehow the guilt was eating away at him. He didn’t want you to misunderstand his feelings.

His feelings?

“You’re right. There’s nothing to apologize for, but everyday we grow further apart. At this point, you’re practically avoiding me like I’m some plague.” Heeseung spoke.

He had caught you. Sure, you wanted to play it off like nothing had happened. But whenever you saw the boy, you couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang in your chest. Avoiding him was your only option. “I realized that I shouldn’t get close to you, since you’re my clients—”

Shit. You weren’t supposed to tell him.

“I mean. You’re um,” you struggled to make up an excuse. “You’re bad news. That’s what everyone says.”

“I know already. You don’t have to hide it.” Heeseung mumbled. “I knew that Yeeun girl was your client right when you spoke up for her. I was her target, huh? You’re tasked to bring us together. Is that why you distanced yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s not professional to have close relations with your client’s—“

“But what if I liked you?” Heeseung intervened. “What if I couldn’t go a fucking day without you?”

You were lost for words, and time seemed to stop at his sudden confession. What the heck did he just say?

“Yn, I don’t care for your fucking client or your stupid cupid services. I don’t care about professionalism, nor do I care about hurting Yeeun’s feelings. Every single time you avoided me or ignored me, I felt as if I was sinking deeper into a pit of lava. It fucking hurts. Do you know that? To see your expression drop into a cold hard stare as soon as we made eye contact.”

“Then why the fuck did you sleep with that girl if you liked me so much?!” You finally lashed out, demanding an answer.

His eyes widened, shocked by your words. Of course, he wanted to explain himself, but he didn’t expect you to blatantly ask him out of the blue. “That,” he hesitated. “I didn’t know how to handle my feelings. I don’t usually feel such a strong attachment to people, and I wanted to deny every last hint of my true feelings. I thought that maybe… I thought by getting with someone else, I’d forget about how I felt about you. But it was the complete opposite. The more I indulged in my old habits to erase you from my thoughts, the more empty I felt. The worst was the other night when you came knocking on my door. I couldn’t even process the situation. My mind just fell blank. I knew I wouldn’t be able to apologize without telling you everything. Yn I’m sorry. You probably don’t even fucking care, sorry for—“

“It hurt like shit. Did you know that?” This time, you were the one to cut him off. “You could’ve told me earlier.”

“But you were the one avoiding me.” Heeseung spoke with an innocent expression on his face.

He was right. You would never listen to his reasoning unless you came to terms with your own feelings. You would continue to ignore him until he got tired of trying.

You giggled softly. “You’re right. That was ridiculous for me to say.”

Heeseung’s frown finally curved up into a genuine smile, an unfamiliar sight. You were so used to his cocky grins and his sly smirks, you couldn’t help but admire the way the corner of his lips lifted ‌so effortlessly. “You’re finally smiling again. I missed it. I missed you.”

You stared at the boy, this time falling victim to his piercing gaze once again. You stood there frozen, unable to move, as Heeseung stared back at you with his inky eyes that appeared golden under the streetlight.

The both of you fell into the comfort of silence.

Falling deeper in his eyes, you barely noticed him inching closer to you, his breath fanning your lips. Not being able to process anything completely, you managed to hold your breath, squeezing your eyes shut at the proximity and the boy's staggering breath.

He was nervous.

He had never been nervous, but as he slowly leaned in, he could hear his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. You stood still, gripping onto the helm of your skirt as if you were holding on for dear life. Too scared to move, you didn’t know what to expect. But most importantly, you couldn’t even process what was transpiring between you two.

Was this wrong?

What were you doing?

Before your mind could wander into deeper analysis or questioning, you feel his soft lips press against yours. His movements were gentle, almost as if he could hurt you at any moment. His arms encase you as they both rest on the car behind you. Heeseung was afraid to hold you. In his eyes, you were as delicate as a feather, and just one touch would break you. He saw you as someone precious, non-deserving of his filthy hands.

Who even gave him the right to kiss you?

You, on the other hand, were lost in your own world as your mind swarmed and your heart raced. You liked Heeseung. You truly did. Your hands slowly crept away from your side, wanting to pull him closer to deepen the kiss, but before you could, he swiftly pulled away. His breaths remained unsteady as he saw your flushed face. “Shit, I’m sorry Yn. That was all of a sudden, I know.” He mumbled as his ears burned.

“Don’t apologize.” You blushed, reaching for his hand that fell to his side. Your pinky latched onto his pinky finger as you nervously looked down, avoiding his gaze.

“Does this count as you accepting my apology, then?” Heeseung spoke in an almost whispering tone.

Finally, looking up at the boy again, you gave him a reassuring smile as you hummed in response. Heeseung couldn’t help but smile like a fool, knowing you had felt the same about him.

You had accepted his apology and you didn’t push him away when he kissed you. Heeseung couldn’t be happier. What else could happen to steal his happiness away? Nothing else mattered anymore.

“Heeseung, where the fuck are you?” A voice echoed through the street. It was Sunghoon. He had come looking for his friend.

“Oh shit. I think I have to go.” Heeseung shot you an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry Yn, I’ll see you on monday?”

You nodded, giving him another smile.

His hands left the comfort of yours as he turned away, heading back to the house.

Your pinkies were now detached from each other.

A promise would be broken.

The next weekend you spent, curdled up in your room, replaying your encounter in your head. What the heck had transpired? Heeseung had kissed you. And you did nothing to stop him. You buried your face in your palms as you blushed again. You felt as if you were on cloud nine. What could go wrong?

Maybe you had gotten ahead of yourself.

Your phone buzzed, shaking you out of your endless thought loop.

Yeeun: Yn. I don’t know what the heck happened that day and I don’t understand why you felt the need to speak up for me. If he was gonna slander me, then so be it. You failed. You fucking failed bringing us together, and you left me that night, alone. How can you even make up for all this? How could you do this? Where’s your fucking professionalism, huh? What are you gonna do now, huh?

You froze at Yeeun’s text. Part of you wanted to blame her for having no self-worth whatsoever. But in another sense, she was right. You were the sole reason she wasn’t able to get with who she wanted. You involved your own feelings into the mix, completely throwing everything off course. It was your fault for diverting Heeseung’s attention, and you knew you were wrong. It was stated clearly in the rules: you could never have personal relations with your client, or your client’s love interest — you had broken them both.

You let your emotions get the best of you when you intervened in the conversation, attempting to protect Yeeun, and most importantly, you had kissed Heeseung, completely enveloped in your own feelings. Your first mistake was accepting Yeeun’s invite to the party.

No. Your first mistake was getting involved with Lee Heeseung.

Your phone buzzed again.

Yeeun: Also, I hope you don’t think I’m dumb. I saw you. I saw you with him. I can’t believe you could do this to me — and you still preach professionalism? Cut the bullshit, Yn. You completely deceived me, and unless you want to deal with getting kicked out, I suggest you do something.

You didn’t care if you got kicked out, frankly it would probably be for the best if this would be the outcome of your requests. However, the main issue was your own guilt, that was picking away at you. You had lied and pretended to help someone. You had acted selfishly, only caring for your own emotions. The sole purpose of the Cupid consulting club was to prioritize your client’s feelings and help them in your best effort. You did none of that. You didn’t prioritize Yeeun, nor did you truly help her.

You shrunk back into your chair, contemplating what to do.

Yeeun was right.

You had to do something.

——

Heeseung was left confused once again. The boy was thrilled to see you after the weekend and it was all he could think about. His friends had also found his attitude weird, as they saw him randomly chuckle out of the blue. They didn’t ask questions, but they were happy he was finally out of his slump.

So why did he see you avoid his gaze once again, scurrying off to get away from him? He shook it off, thinking you were still nervous from the party incident, but as days flew by, you once again avoided him like he was some sick disease. What had he done so wrong now? He needed an answer.

He would not let you go so easily again.

“Yn.” You heard a shout from behind you. His familiar voice echoed through the empty hall, and as soon as you heard him, you wanted to dash for your life. “Can you just fucking stop? Why are you running?” The voice spoke again.

You knew if you turned around, your heart would shatter.

Right. This was for the best. You had to compose yourself.

“Yn what the fuck?” Heeseung garbled your wrist, turning you around to face him. “Why are you ignoring me again? After everything?”

You met his saddened eyes, filled to the brim with unexplainable emotions. You couldn’t bear seeing him like this, but his grip on your wrist only seemed to tighten as you attempted to wiggle out. “Let go of me.” You spat.

“What the fuck, Yn? You can’t just expect me to leave when you’re acting like this. I thought we talked this over already? Why are you acting like this, avoiding me?”

You sighed. Pushing your emotions back into your churning stomach. You hated this. You wanted to disappear.

“Stay away from me. I don’t care what you thought happened that day, but nothing did. Think of it as a mistake.” You blurted out. “No, actually, you’re Lee Heeseung, so think of it as your average fling.”

His face fell pale, all the emotions drained out by your words. “What did you just say?” He stammered.

“Do I have to make it any clearer?” You spoke again, this time struggling to keep your voice steady. “That day meant nothing to me.”

Heeseung felt as if he had been punched relentlessly in the stomach. He had poured out all his emotions to you and for the first time; he felt comfortable and content with someone. But now you were standing in front of him, each word piercing him slowly but deeply. You gave the boy a taste of his own medicine unknowingly, and all he could do was beg you to stay. “Yn, you don’t mean it.”

The more the conversation dragged on, the more you felt yourself waver in your emotions.

You wanted to drop this act, but you knew what had to be done.

“I do. You meant nothing to me. All your actions made me laugh. How could you fall for someone just because they didn’t show interest in you at the beginning? You’re truly pathetic.”

That was a lie and your words continued to thrust him deeper into agony. Sure, Heeseung enjoyed the chase, but he would drop anyone without batting an eye if they weren’t showing any interest. He thought he would feel the same about you, but his feelings proved him wrong. “If this is all an act for your stupid client, drop it. I told you already that I don’t care about your client, and if this is for her, I won’t accept it.”

He had caught you red-handed, but there was no turning back.

“No, I fucking despise you. Everything about you pisses me off to the core, especially your habits. Your habits are absolutely disgusting” At this point, you now involved your own insecurities into this. You hated his sweet words because at the back of your head you feared he was lying and you hated his habits, mainly because you were afraid he would never be truly content with you.

But none of that mattered.

Because you were never supposed to involve your own emotions in the first place.

Heeseung grabbed your shoulders, pulling you close to him. His grip tightened, breathing in slowly as he pressed his eyes shut in frustration. “Yn, fucking look at me in the eyes and tell me that there was nothing between us. Look into my eyes and tell me everything was a lie.” His voice wavered, cracking at the end of his sentence.

You took the last bit of courage you had and looked up at the boy, whose eyes were now begging you to tell him that it wasn’t a lie. “Did you not hear me the first time?” You spoke in the steadiest voice you could muster up. “You meant absolutely nothing to me, and you never will. In my heart, you amount to nothing.”

His grip on your shoulders loosened as they fell to his side in pure terror. Backing away, his hands began to quiver and his breaths grew unsteady. Never in his life did he ever think he’d experience the absolute horror of a heartbreak. He had cruised through his life, breaking hearts left and right, but never did he think he’d find himself on the verge of breaking down.

“Heeseung, it’s over. Whatever exchange we had, ends here. Don’t approach me or even look in my direction ever again.”

And that’s all it took.

That’s all it took to break Lee Heeseung, the boy who grew up engulfed by praises — the “careless” jerk, who was immune to tears and deemed “unbreakable.”

That’s all it took.

“Yn,” He croaked out, his voice still wavering. “Even if you shoved me deep into the pits of hell, I would still crawl back to you. Even if my legs were severed, I’d still claw my way back to you. Don’t you understand?” He paused.

“I fucking love you.”

Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. You understood. You wanted to embrace him, to apologize, and to comfort him.

But you knew.

Cupid’s law number one: Never fall in love.

You were a matchmaker. You had no place involving your own emotions.

You were a matchmaker with the sole purpose of bringing others together.

But you ruined it.

You ruined it for everyone.

You had to swallow that bitter pill and acknowledge your wrongdoings. You had to come face to face with it all, and accept that you had failed.

You had fallen in love.

And in the process, you broke people for the sake of your own happiness.

There was a reason why rules were set, and you never knew the severity of following them until now.

You let your emotions get the best of you, and that’s where it all spiraled downwards.

You didn’t have the right to love; you were undeserving of it.

And if it meant breaking Heeseung’s heart to make up for your wrongdoings, you would gladly do so, no matter how badly it hurt.

For the sake of others.

You had to let go.

“I’m sorry.”

———————————————————————————————————

A/N: oml hi bff! You’ve made it through this word vomit. Hello, but I’m so honored that you even survived till the end. Editing this, plus blr acting up took like 5 hours I wanna cry. But anyways, thank you so much for reading! This is my first official one-shot, so feel free to leave your feedback and thoughts! I would love to read all of them. But again, thank you so much for reading ilyyy

©seungstarss

Do not copy or steal!

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griseldabanks · 1 month

Text

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

Requested by @sergeanttomycaptain

Fandom: Captain America Relationship: BrooklynBros Prompts: "I can't imagine how I lived without you. I mean, I can remember it, but I can't imagine how I considered that living." AND "Leave you? You know how hard it was for me to TRAIN YOU to deal with me?"

Please note that this takes place after Avengers: Endgame, but specifically with my fix-it ending where Steve stays. If you're interested in learning more, please check out my fic "Let This One Remain."

“I'm telling you, it's really not that interesting,” Steve said.

“I'll be the judge of that.” Bucky clutched the steering wheel with both hands, not taking his eyes off the road.

Steve eyed his best friend warily, wishing once again he'd just kept his mouth shut. But when he'd noticed the name on the highway sign, he'd blurted out that S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent him to a retreat not far from there right after he'd gotten out of the ice. And then Bucky had inexplicably made an illegal U-turn and demanded further directions.

With a sigh, Steve pointed out the turn he still remembered from all those years ago. How many had it been? Eleven? Twelve?

As they crunched along a gravel road overgrown with weeds and filled with watery potholes, Bucky said, “They'll be gone, right? S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Probably. I can't imagine anyone would still be using it after all these years.”

“Good.”

“It really wasn't that bad,” Steve said for the fifth time. “I just sat around for a couple weeks and read up on what happened with the war and everything. Look, you can see the pond now. It was like being on vacation.”

“How many vacation spots do you know that have barbed-wire fences?” Bucky stopped with a jerk in front of the gate blocking the drive—and sure enough, the fence that stretched in either direction was topped with barbed wire.

When he looked through the gaps in the fence, Steve spotted the cabin right away. The trees on either side were taller than he remembered, and the grass and weeds along the path grew wild and untrimmed. Steve found his gaze locking immediately on the window through which he'd watched the sun rise every morning after each restless, sleepless night.

The hairs on the back of his neck rose, for some reason. Even though it was the hottest part of the day.

“Come on,” Steve said, opening his door to the rasping chorus of hundreds of cicadas. “If we're going to do this, we'll need to make sure the fence isn't electrified anymore.”

Bucky shot him a look of sheer outrage, but Steve ignored him and walked over to the fence.

There was no hum of electricity like he remembered from before, and sure enough, when he reached out to touch it, he felt nothing but sun-warmed metal. Just as he'd expected—no one would have been around to keep the power on. But the lock still looked solid. Steve looked over his shoulder at Bucky, who was still glowering at the fence. “Here, want to give me a hand?”

“That joke still hasn't gotten old yet, huh?” Bucky gave him a flat look as he casually reached out with his vibranium hand and yanked the gate open with one smooth motion, the lock falling uselessly into the dust.

Steve winked and led the way into the Retreat.

The door to the cabin was locked too, but it was even easier to break that lock and get inside. Everything looked more or less the way Steve remembered, albeit covered with a thin layer of dust. A living room with a couple couches and a fireplace, a kitchen, a bedroom...everything a newly-defrosted supersoldier could need.

“They were watching you?” Bucky jabbed a finger up at one corner of the ceiling, where a small black camera sat collecting dust.

“Yeah. Security, I guess.”

Steve gazed up at the camera, remembering when he'd first looked up and realized what it was. The way the whole cabin had seemed to shrink around him, like there were secret agents hiding in the walls, watching for the slightest sign he was about to crack. They'd told him he would stay there until he was 'ready,' and Steve had realized they would be watching him to decide when that was. If he wanted to leave, he would need to prove that he was still capable of being Captain America for them.

It was like being on stage again, wearing a costume and dancing for a crowd. Only this time, there would be no ducking behind the curtain and taking a breather backstage.

Remembering that made Steve's skin crawl.

Bucky wandered farther into the cabin, glaring around at everything like it had personally offended him. Sam would have laughed at him. Not for the first time, Steve wished they could have invited him on their cross-country road trip too, but he was Captain America now. He had a lot of hands to shake and babies to kiss, and hopefully no more world-ending catastrophes for a little while.

Steve strolled into the bedroom, thinking back to the last time he'd been in here. When he had been Captain America, and had to somehow come to grips with the knowledge that, despite everything he'd done and everything he'd sacrificed, the fight still wasn't over.

The same plaid blanket lay on the neatly made bed. Steve sank onto the side of the bed, kicking up a small cloud of dust. Even the dust smelled the same.

If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine he was back here to stay. That everything that had happened in the past decade had all been a dream. Maybe none of that had really happened—no Avengers, no Thanos. No Sharon. No Sam. No Bucky. Nothing but days upon days stretching out before him, his whole future nothing but a huge question mark. Nothing to do but reflect on the past, dwell on his mistakes, learn all the things that had happened without him and realize just how powerless he was.

How small. How weak. How alone.

“Steve?”

With a breath that caught in his throat, Steve opened his eyes again and found himself looking at Bucky, standing in the doorway and watching him with a furrow in his brow. He tried to smile, but that only made Bucky look more concerned than ever.

Bucky crossed the room and sat down next to Steve, reaching up and brushing the knuckles of his right hand across Steve's cheek. Only when his fingers came away wet did Steve realize he was crying.

“I don't....” Steve wasn't sure what he was trying to say, but it didn't matter, because his voice died in his throat.

“Here.” Bucky scooted a little closer, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Steve turned in to the embrace with a desperation that surprised even him, throwing his arms around Bucky and crushing him against his chest. He needed to feel Bucky there—alive, real, present. Not a dream, not a memory. Not flakes of snow or ash slipping through his fingers. A warm, solid man right there at his side, like it was supposed to be.

They stayed like that for long minutes that stretched out endlessly. Time seemed meaningless here, just like when they'd brought him here the first time. He could have been here for a day. He could have been here for centuries. But for once, Steve didn't mind. He could feel Bucky's arms around him—one soft and warm, one hard and cold. Both of them strong enough to support him, no matter what he faced.

“You okay?” Bucky finally murmured.

Steve sniffled. “I wanted to see Niagara Falls. Would've been more fun than here.”

Bucky pulled back, but let his hand fall easily into Steve's. “Sorry,” he said softly. “I just...wanted to see what it was like. How you lived...while I wasn't there.”

Steve let out a mirthless chuckle, running a hand across his eyes. “I can't imagine how I lived without you. I mean, I can remember it, but I can't imagine how I considered that living.”

No...it really wasn't living. Not in this cabin. Not for the past five years.

“I was just...existing. Carrying on...almost out of habit. Trying to remember why.” He let out a shaky breath, tightening his grip around Bucky's hand. “It's a lot easier when you're here.”

“Sorry it took me so long to come back.”

All Steve could do was nod. They'd had this conversation before, multiple times. They'd probably have it again. And again. As many times as it took before Steve's brain finally caught up to the reality that they were together again.

They sat there for a few more minutes, Steve settling against Bucky's side, the two of them breathing together. Steve focused on the simple sensations that grounded him in the present, reassuring him that he hadn't just woken up from the ice. So much had happened since then, both good and bad.

The days he'd spent in this cabin hadn't been the end of the story.

Eventually, they got up and meandered back outside, still holding hands. Standing at the edge of the pond, looking out at the water and the overgrown bank, Steve listened to the chirring of cicadas and smelled the hot, dusty summer evening air. He felt Bucky's hand in his, slightly sweaty but comfortably familiar. He felt the weight of his phone in his pocket, a comforting reminder that he would be calling Sharon tonight when they found a motel. Maybe in the morning he would call Sam.

He had roots here now, in the 21st century. A home, a place where he belonged. Or people he belonged with, rather. Daily reminders that he had something to live for.

“What are you thinking about?” Bucky asked, breaking into his thoughts.

Steve looked over at him, at the setting sun turning the edges of his dark hair to gold. That face he knew so well, looking at him expectantly, his keen eyes full of sympathy. Steve had to swallow a lump in his throat before he could say, “Can I...ask something selfish?”

“Please do.”

“Don't leave me. Don't...Don't ever leave me again.”

Bucky's eyebrows pinched together for a moment, but then his mouth slid into an easy smile. “Leave you? You know how hard it was for me to train you to deal with me?”

Steve smiled back. The golden sunlight seemed to seep into his skin and sink all the way down to his bones, thawing out any last traces of ice that remained. “Not that hard.”

“Keep telling yourself that, punk,” Bucky said, turning and leading the way back to the car. “After decades of investment, you really think I'd let you walk away now?”

Steve didn't let go of his hand. Together, they stepped through the gate and left the Retreat behind. Within minutes, it was nothing but a dusty smudge on the horizon.

#btw i've never seen any of agents of shield so i don't actually have any firsthand knowledge of the retreat #so i probably got it all wrong but oh well - i did my best! XP #ari asked for this specific scenario and to use BOTH prompts so that's what i did!#ask games #let me count the ways #captain america #avengers #avengers: endgame #steve rogers #bucky barnes #brooklynbros

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thewritingofspencerrose · 9 months

Text

Freefall Masterlist

L3 Forever

"I give it ten minutes," I can't help but mumble, giggling at the twitter thread.

"Ten minutes until?" Charles begins to question, although my phone immediately rings, cutting him off in the middle of his sentence and cutting my expectations.

"Until this," I answer, turning my phone to face the man across from me, our mutual friend's face bright on the screen.

"Why would Lando be calling you?"

"Is that really a question, Charles? He's a friend of us both, and there are now rumors we're seeing each other. He plans to get answers," I explain, his head moving in a nod slowly. "God, it's as if you don't even know him."

"Are you going to answer him?" Is the next question, and I can't help but laugh.

"Oh Charles, you have a lot to learn, Love," I tease, pressing the green button. "Lan-"

"YOU'RE DATING CHARLES LECLERC," My oldest friend's voice yells through the phone, even making Charles flinch at the volume. "AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?"

"Lan, love, we're not dating," I assure when it seems as if the yelling has stopped. It's now that I get Charles attention, noticing the people peering all around at us. "We should step out," I suggest, mouthing it so that Lando can't hear me, making sure to get my point across as I glance with my eyes to the surrounding tables. Leaving a fiver, Charles takes my hand, sure to fuel the rumors and leading me out of the cafe.

"Not dating my well toned ass!" Logan's voice rings, slightly farther from the phone as we hit the streets of Miami.

"Is that Logan Sargeant? From Williams?" Charles can't help but ask, presumably not having known that Lando and Logan had ever even spoken.

"Yes, it's Logan being as charming as ever."

"Who are you talking to?" Lando is chiming back in, "Is that Charles? This is a L3 moment! How could you not tell us you were dating!"

"Because we're not," Charles chimes in, taking my phone and putting it on speaker between us. "We were just grabbing coffee."

"Liars!" Lando yells. "Lynn doesn't just go heart eyes over a coffee. It's only ever been about fictional men. And now you."

"Lando Norris! You outrageous tosser!"

"I still don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure she only uses that when she's pissed," Logan chimes, and I can just picture his smirk. Last time I called Lando a tosser a 17 year old him had forgotten to pick a 14 year old me up from the airport.

"Can we please just talk about this when we get back to the paddock in half an hour?" I request, not wanting this conversation in the slightest. How had I not thought about how over protective these boys would be about me. "I have to get Charles back before media."

"He has media with Lan, Pierre, Carlos and I," Logan mentions, the smirk there once again, even if I can't see him. "We'll be sure to make it interesting."

"Logan! No-" But before I can finish scolding him the other line is gone and they've left Charles and I on our own, almost to his car.

"So, what's a tosser?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to Leclerc."

#original character #formula 1 fanfiction #the writing of spencer rose #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x oc #freefall series

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angeltreasure · 10 months

Note

If I may make a prayer request, I've been crippled by anxiety. I've been in a few nasty car wrecks just a few years apart from one another, and the experience has left me with such severe anxiety around driving, I can't bring myself to do it anymore. It's been three years now that I've driven a car. I still ride in cars with others, but I get so tense over the slightest thing, it makes me fear that if I wear to just try and push through and do it again, any tiny little thing would set off a mini panic attack and I'd cause a wreck. It's awful. I feel like a burden on my loved ones who I have to rely on to go places, and I'm severely limited in job prospects bc I can't drive. It doesn't help that I don't have access to a reliable vehicle to practice anyway, plus outrageous gas prices add another layer of challenge. Please, I feel this is getting in the way of so much in my life, and that most of my other problems would clear up if I could just drive again. It's freedom and independence that I just don't have access to because of my own disordered brain and it's getting in the way of everything. I don't have access to therapy either, and have very little money (again, can't get a job because I can't drive). I just want to be able to get behind the wheel of a car and actually enjoy the process of driving and not freak out if something happens. Cautious but not in a panicky way. Confident but not in a cocky way. Alert but not in a way that's exhausting. Sorry this is so long. Thank you for reading. 🙏🏻

I know this exact feeling and that situation of not having a lot of money. I caused my second car accident in a thunderstorm when I was sharing my mom’s car before I bought my own. The people all around who were witnessing laughed at me and took off. I panicked so much I couldn’t breathe. It meant a mark could be on my insurance and my mom’s for at least 6 years. On top of that I had to rent a car out of my own pocket and give even more to my parents. I was scared that the driver of the other car could drive around to find me or worse, sue me. I was afraid to leave my bedroom. I was scared it would happen again. I felt like I was burden too. As crazy as that sounds, those were real feelings I felt. I had no money for therapy either the only thing that calmed me was God. It took me a while to get over my fear of being on the road again, but I had to keep my job too. Perhaps if you are lucky enough you could carpool with someone for a while or take public transportation (which is very cheap sometimes)…there is also Uber but that can be pricy. You could try this until you get over your fear if that is possible. Keep in mind that it is freedom to drive, that could be your motivation. Take it day by day and don’t be too hard on yourself. I will pray for you.

#prayer request #asks

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wrienne · 1 year

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My Cheating, Amnesic Fiancé

Chapter 20: First Breakthrough

You weren’t foolish enough to fall for it immediately. He might have just - now that he had amnesia - decided to change status message to nothing. Fortunately, KakaoTalk saved every edit to one’s profile.

You quickly checked the history of Jungkook’s profile, but found no revisions of the description box as of recent. Frowning, you went through the rest of his history. Other than an occasional semi-serious selfie, you found that a majority of his gallery consisted of pictures of different environments. Streets, cathedrals, landscapes. He had quite the eye for photography, actually.

But there had been no post-amnesic edits to his status message. And there wasn’t the slightest hint of him being in a romantic relationship. Ever.

Though you didn’t exactly take relationship statuses on social media for that big of a reference for whether a couple was happy or not - together or not - you found it odd. Jungkook didn’t--no, hadn’t seemed like the type to boast about any romantic endeavors, but Park Yi-Jae definitely struck you as that type. She wouldn’t have stood by, simply content with Jungkook not returning the gesture of airing his unavailability. She was clearly the jealous kind, hence her outrageous behavior toward you that evening by the hospital.

Oh yeah. You had almost forgotten that threat of hers.

“Woah, (Y/N). Your face is really scary right now.”

Se-Eun had since long mastered the technique of whispering softly enough that the sound of pens and paper drowned out her voice. You hadn’t learnt to mimic that, however - perhaps because of your mom - your ears had adjusted somehow so that you could hear her exceptionally well.

She glanced down at your phone, which you had kept underneath the cover of the foldable desk fastened to the back of each seat in the auditorium. “Who is it?”

You locked the phone and shook your head. “Nobody,” you mouthed truthfully.

“‘Nobody’ is making you angry?”

You smiled and nodded.

Se-Eun sighed. “You know what I meant. Whatever,” she whispered when you wouldn’t respond. “I just don’t like it when you keep secrets from me.”

You gave her a quizzical look.

“There are only two logical reasons why you would.” Se-Eun held up two fingers. “You’re either terminal and don’t want me to worry about you, which is stupid when you think about it since, if you’re dying, I’ll be just as hurt whether I know it before of after the funeral.” She folded one finger, then hesitated.

You raised your eyebrows. “And?” you mouthed.

Se-Eun averted her gaze. “You’re dealing with something so troublesome not even you can fully comprehend it. And you won’t discuss it with anyone because you have some serious superhero complex.”

You snorted, even as the truth behind her words unsettled you. “That’s not a real thing.”

“Quiet down up there.”

You swallowed hard and stiffly shifted your focus forward. Professor Hwang was gave you a stern look, which hardened into ice as he found Se-Eun. “This isn’t a coffee house. Take it outside, if you must. And feel free not to return.”

You gulped. “Sorry, professor.”

Se-Eun meekly repeated the words.

She didn’t bring it up for the rest of the day, but instead tormented you with requests to see Jungkook as per usual. By the time Jong-Yeol came to pick you up and you shut the car door behind you, it felt as if though you had stepped into an isolation cell. And you loved it.

But you really needed to find a way to tell Se-Eun about Jungkook. Or at least figure out a better lie.

The drive home was unusually long that Thursday afternoon, and you had almost fallen asleep by the time Jong-Yeol dropped you off at home. You were stifling a yawn as you unlocked and opened the front door to your parents’ apartment.

“Ayo ladies and gentlemen...”

Loud music suddenly bursted into the elevator foyer, almost knocking you over. It was vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t tell if it was because you had unwittingly listened to it while in shops or on the street or because you had actually taken the time to consciously listen to it, privately.

“Jungkook?” you yelled as you hurried inside, unzipped your boots and shrugged of your jacket. “What the heck are you doing?”

No reply. Only music.

You stormed down the hallway, heading straight toward the living room where all the noise originated. Your father had installed surround speakers into the walls in addition to a projector that could come out of the ceiling should you want to watch a movie at home, and had even taken the care to make the apartment as noise-isolating as possible. You guessed Jungkook had gotten access to the stereo system and was blasting random songs after his liking. You were just about to shout at him again when you reached the living room.

And you just stopped.

On the large widescreen of the smart-TV, Taehyung sat in a moving elevator while singing into an old telephone. It was evidently a music video, judging by the production value, and a certain twenty-year-old guy soon caught your eye. He entered the frame with a confident smirk on his face and beckoned the camera to follow him to a scene where all seven members of BTS started to dance in rhythm with the quick beat. Jungkook looked really good in his fitted police uniform and purplish hair, and moved almost in perfect synchronization with his group members, which created an impressive performance considering how fast they all moved.

However, it was the person standing in front of the TV that truly drew your attention.

He had pushed aside the coffee table, thus opening up the whole area between the smart-TV and the sofa situated opposite to it. The present Jungkook was dancing, too - or rather, he tried to. Although he had the same face and body as the young police officer on the screen, the two versions of Jungkook couldn’t have looked more different.

One could dance, the other could not.

Although logic told you Jungkook’s current inability to keep up with the song was simply another effect of his amnesia, and that he now had to imitate what he saw instead of having memorized the dance moves beforehand, you felt a bit heartbroken. Even more so as you watched him stiffly, awkwardly try to dance until the end of the song, at which point he let out a heavy sigh and sank down on one of the sofas.

“How bad was it?” asked Jungkook without looking at you. He simply stared at the replay button that had popped up on screen, his features a stony guise.

“From one to ten?” you asked teasingly, hoping you could provoke him.

“Sure.”

He hadn’t even twitched an eyebrow. You approached him and took the seat furthest away from him. “I can’t really tell,” you tried as you pulled your knees up underneath you. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Not even a blind fool could have missed how horribly I failed,” muttered Jungkook as he pinched the neckline of his shirt and surreptitiously pulled and released it, making the motion of cooling himself down. “Just say it.”

“You’re not bad at all,” you said firmly. “Amnesia didn’t destroy any of your motoric skills - you just don’t remember any of the steps. That’s all there is to it.”

“Really?” he asked dubiously.

“Of course.” You snatched the remote control off the coffee table and pressed the replay button on screen. Jungkook and you watched as first Kim Namjoon’s face entered the screen, then Jungkook’s, a cocky smile on his lips. You paused when all seven of them were gathered and aimed the remote at his face. “That’s still you, Jungkook. You just need to remember it.”

He didn’t reply. He was fully focused on the screen.

“What did you find on your computer?” you tried instead.

Jungkook’s eyes found yours. “I didn’t have time to check it,” he admitted. “I was busy looking through my phone and… doing whatever I was doing just now.” He snorted. “KakaoTalk was... interesting, to say the least.”

“Oh,” you said eloquently. “So you must have read through all the messages?”

“No. I couldn’t bring myself to.”

You frowned. “Why not?”

“It felt wrong,” he said quietly, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Like I was snooping around someone’s personal business.”

“But--” you started.

“I know,” he interrupted. “I shouldn’t feel bad since all of it is my personal business.” He abruptly turned his whole body toward you, placed an elbow on the back of the sofa and leaned his cheek against his knuckles. He kept his broken arm in his lap. “But that girl… Park Yi-Jae. I couldn’t read any of it. I couldn’t even click on the chat room.”

You gulped, then averted your gaze. You should have gotten used to that tearing pain in your heart by now, but it still hurt more than anything as you formulated your next sentence. “But you love her, Jungkook,” you somehow managed.

“So you keep telling me.” Jungkook exhaled. “Is she that Park Yi-Jae? The idol? I think I saw her on a variety show re-run this morning with her group members.”

“Yes,” you told him. You were forced to hide your fists underneath a cushion, which you placed on top of your lap. “The two of you kept your relationship hidden from the public. Only those working close to you knew that you were together, and perhaps your parents.”

“If that’s the case,” he began, “how come you found out about it?”

“I saw the two of you backstage after your concert,” you blurted and willed the corners of your mouth to curve upwards. “It was clear to anyone that you were deeply in love.”

“She seemed very sweet on the show,” said Jungkook with a thoughtful nod. “And she could really sing.”

“ESSTAR are predicted to become the biggest girl group of this year,” you said stiffly. “They’re all really talented, it seems, and she’s both the leader and the most popular member.”

“How old is she?”

“If I remember correctly,” you said as you tapped a finger against your chin. “I think Se-Eun told me she was born in ‘96. She’s oldest in the group.”

Jungkook raised his brows. “She looks younger than you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Are you claiming I look old?”

“Since I’m older than you, that would be stupid, wouldn’t it?”

“You are stupid,” you said pointedly. “But I understand what you meant.”

“What?”

“She’s really pretty - probably the prettiest girl I have ever seen.” You forced yourself to smile again. “You’re one lucky guy, aren’t you?”

Jungkook held your gaze for a moment too long before he replied. “What makes you say that?” he asked, all of a sudden, in a neutral tone.

“It’s obvious,” you said as you tried to sound nonchalant. “Your girlfriend is Park Yi-Jae, who is on a quick road to becoming the new major female K-pop star. You are a key member of the most popular Korean boy group in the world, at least as of now. What isn’t there to feel happy about?”

“My amnesia.”

“I’ve promised you several times now,” you told him sternly, “that I’m going to remedy that. You’ll remember your love for her and your hyungs in a matter of three months. I’ll fix you, Jungkook. Do I really have to keep repeating myself?”

“But…”

His voice trailed away, and he broke away from your eyes. You could see him struggling inwardly, as if there was something he wanted to tell you but couldn’t bring himself to. You waited quietly, even though you wanted to urge him on, since he might finally open up a bit about his issue with his parents.

Jungkook shook his head. “No, it was nothing.”

“Jungkook--”

He abruptly glanced over his shoulder, regarding the frozen image of the music video. “But seriously,” he interrupted. “How bad was I?”

You grimaced in disappointment, but was still a little glad that he had changed subject. You had lost almost all the feeling in your balled hands. “Well…” You cleared your throat. “If I’m a one, I’d say you’re… a three perhaps?”

“So you’re not only blind and a fool,” he began and turned back to face you, which made you open your mouth to protest, “but a kind-hearted one, too.”

You swallowed your retort and glanced at him in surprise, to which Jungkook responded with a weary smile. “So what did you bring home for dinner today, Miss Violent?” he went on as he ran his healthy hand through his hair. “I’m starving.”

“Don’t call me that,” you told him. Even though he was sitting at the other end of the sofa, you were starting to feel a bit too close to his body. He was warm, you knew it, and probably even warmer now that he technically had exercised. It was something you yearned for after the horrid weather and the rather cool air inside your parents’ apartment. “And I didn’t buy anything. I was thinking we could order some normal Korean food. What do you think?”

“Sounds good.”

With Jungkook in tow, you went to the kitchen and pulled forth a stack of catalogues and menus from a cabinet. You browsed through them until you found the usual place you ordered Korean food from, then discussed what the two of you would like to eat. After deciding, you grabbed your phone to call the place when you realized the battery had ran out. Probably because Se-Eun had ran out of battery on her iPhone and asked to use yours all day.

“Phone,” you demanded as you glanced at Jungkook’s pants.

“My eyes are up here,” he answered as he handed you his phone.

You blushed but tried not to acknowledge it. “Exhibitionist,” you muttered.

You had barely put in the code Taehyung had told you when Jungkook startled you by gasping out loud. Wide-eyed, you glanced up at him and watched as he clutched his forehead and eyes while stumbling back against the fridge, his balance as if lost somehow.

“Jungkook!”

You grabbed his bicep and tried to keep him from falling, but he was too heavy. Instead, you were dragged along as his back struck the refrigerator door, and you released him only as he slowly began sliding down toward the cold floor until he simply sat on it. You crouched by his side and - ignoring your promise - grabbed his face with both of your hands so that he would look at you, but he wouldn’t turn his neck no matter how much you strained.

“What the heck happened?” You tried to pry his fingers away from his eyes but they felt as if they had been nailed to his face. “Jungkook? Hey!”

His whole body language revealed how stiff and tense he was, and his mouth was set in a grim line. Without thinking, you straddled him and hoped that you would have a better shot at prying his hand away from his face with this new angle. You were terrified, your heart beating faster than it had done probably all of your life, as you tried to elicit a response - any type of response - from him.

“You’re tearing off your pretty face, idiot!” you barked as you considered punching him. He was surprisingly strong, seeing as he was able to keep his hand stuck to his face despite your best efforts. “If this is some kind of morbid joke that you’re playing on me, I’m seriously going to put broken glass shards into your food!”

“It’s not.”

Jungkook gradually lowered his hand. His brown, familiar large eyes were even larger than usual. His voice was merely a whisper.

“I think I just remembered something.”

#MCAF #Ao3 #Wrienne #bts fic #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts jungkook

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ensnapemysenses · 1 year

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I suffer from Chronic Insomnia, Anxiety, and paranoia so to ask you to request this is truly nervewracking.

I love the character Severus Snape so much because of the shared emotional damage and personality traits. I was wondering if you could by chance, perhaps, write an oc or y/n story with Snape. Maybe the oc (preferably a female) just graduated Hogwarts, top of her Slytherin house in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions. Snape and her are on an acquantiship level and Dumbledore asks the oc or y/n to join the Order of the Phoenix. She accepts and Dumbeldore organizes for her to 'join' the Death Eaters to spy on them like Severus does. Severus is outraged that Dumbledore would do such a thing to a young girl and helps the graduated girl like a mentor. I would especially love if there was a special scene where Snape calms the girl down after she receives the painful Dark Mark.

Sorry to intrude,

Anon

Marked

Pairing: Snape x Gender-neutral Reader (Plantonic! Mentor Snape!)

Genre: SFW

Warnings: Kinda sad, kidnapping, light bondage, pain, insomnia, mention of anxiety, if I missed anything let me know

A/N: Though my requests are currently closed I decided to go ahead and write this anyway since I had a similiar scene in my abandoned? long fic that I could tweak to make work. I hope you like it!

Word Count: 1,157

You knew what you were getting into when you agreed on joining The Order, accepting Dumbledore’s offer. You knew the plans he had for you, to infiltrate the Death Eaters as a spy alongside Severus. After all, two spies are always better than one in case one gets discovered.

Severus had recommended you to join the ranks upon Dumbledore's orders. He had talked you up, spoke highly of your skills in potions and defense against the dark arts, and how you were top of Slytherin class. He told The Dark Lord of all of your accomplishments while in school and recommended you, pushing for your acceptance. But he did so with hatred in his heart, wishing that Dumbledore hadn’t ordered it. He had fought against the plan but eventually succumbed to it.

In order to help protect you, Severus began to mentor you in occlumency. He knew this was the one way to help keep your operations undercover and to also protect your mind from The Dark Lord’s prying. You had picked up the needed skills with ease and soon enough you were ready to implement the plan.

“It’s happening tonight,” Severus whispered in your ear, appearing at your side for a moment after The Order meeting, and then he disappeared, leaving you terrified and alone. You knew that he had no choice, he had to return to Voldemort's side before his absence was noticed but even the warning doesn’t calm your nerves in the slightest.

They come for you in the dead of the night, stirring you from sleep. Long flowing robes and masked faces surround your bed. They bind your arms and legs and then disapparate you to an unknown place, leaving you alone in a dark empty room. Severus comes for you shortly after and helps you to your feet, whispering a few words of encouragement into your ear.

As your eyes adjust to the low light of the room you can just make out the sight of a long corridor-like room with no windows, a few lit torches on the walls, and a throne-like chair at the end. Each step that you take on the hard shiny black tiles reverberates around the room, sending echoes everywhere. Your heart rate quickens, your mouth grows dry, and there are beads of sweat rolling down your face. Severus’s tight grip on your arm is the only thing keeping you standing.

The throne is now right in front of you but now you can see that it is turned around and facing the wall. Severus throws you down roughly in front of it, a look of sorrow on his face for a split second before it disappears.

“Kneel,” Severus demands coldly and you obediently do as he asks.

“My Lord, I have brought them to you,” Severus says. He is now standing several feet behind you, but you dare not look up as the chair in front of you swivels around to face you. Your eyes instantly dart to the floor and you bow your head in respect.

“So this is the fine specimen I have heard so much about,” Voldemort hisses. He reaches down and lifts your chin with his hand, forcing you to look at him and you close off your mind instantly. “My, my,” he tuts. “It seems they are also very skilled at occlumency, how delightful.”

“Indeed, my Lord. I taught them myself,” Severus says in a low and calm voice. “After all, they were my favorite student. I have been preparing them for the day you were to rise.”

“How very good of you,” Voldemort tuts, as he lets go of your chin. “You have made me proud, dear Severus. I expected nothing less from my most esteemed servant while I was away. Now, are you ready to receive your dark mark, branding you as my own?” Voldemort drawls, grabbing your left arm. He pulls up your sleeve and runs the tip of his wand over your forearm slowly.

“I am, my Lord,” you respond.

Voldemort cuts you a devilish grin and mutters the spell to burn you with his mark. You bite down on your tongue to keep from screaming in agony and your eyes begin to water. Somehow you manage to keep the tears from falling.

“Good, my child. Welcome to my inner circle. Severus, please escort them back to their home. I will call upon them when I desire their attention again.”

Severus bows deeply and helps you up from your kneeling position. He holds out his arm and you place your hand on it and apparates the two of you back to your home. Once there, he drops his facade and you can clearly see the panic set in on his face.

“Are you okay?” he asks with wide eyes as he examines your dark mark.

“It stings a little still but I’ll be okay,” you wince at his touch. You’re trying to keep it together and stay calm but you know you are failing.

“I can tell you’re lying and I know from experience that the pain won’t go away for a few days. Here let me put some healing salve on it.” Severus reaches into his cloak and pulls out a little glass jar and he smears some of it on your mark. “There, that should help.”

The ointment takes a soothing cooling effect quickly and you let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Severus. That really helps.” Now that the pain has subsided, you can feel yourself coming down from your adrenaline high and panic starting to settle in. “I- I think you should go now,” you stammer, hot tears beginning to flow down your face.

“I can’t leave you like this,” Severus whispers. “You can talk to me. Come here.”

Sweeping you up into his arms, he holds you tight as your tears soak his clothing; but he doesn’t complain. In fact, he just lets you stutter your way through how you are feeling and he listens intently, offering you a comforting rub on your back every so often. He knows exactly how you feeling at the current moment, but he also knows that sleep will help tremendously.

“I can give you a sleeping draught if you desire,” he mutters, wiping the tears away from your face. “It’s also laced with a peaceful draught. It’ll calm your nerves and help you sleep.”

“I - I think that might help,” you respond, eye pleading with him for some relief.

He nods and removes a small glass vial from his jacket. “Here, take this.”

You down it in one gulp and immediately feel your eyes beginning to grow heavy and your anxiety ebbing away. Severus picks you up and carries you to your bed, tucking you in. The last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is his gentle and caring words.

“Rest, child. For the hardest part of this is still to come.”

#snape fic #professor snape fic #snape drabble #professor snape drabble #mentor snape #ensnapemysenses

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tracywilliames · 1 year

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How The Hollywood Swear-Authenticity Has Entered Bollywood And The OTT Stages In India!

Utilization of oppressive words or shoptalk has been general in day to day discussions of people across the globe, since days of yore maybe. Nonetheless, in this piece we're just intrigued concerning how such cuss words have advanced to additional solidified and more grounded structures on the celluloid and how they have vanquished other extremely moderate celluloid structures. This isn't the slightest bit an examination paper either; however, curiously, there is part of exploration on the continuously solidifying swear words in Hollywood films specialists in any event, rattling off motion pictures with the most extreme number of swear-words utilized in the discoursed by the characters, one tracking down a limit of a close to thousand such articulations in a film of around an hour and a half's term. Timespure In early times social orders in the west also were more moderate, and in this manner the swear-words were of the generally honest sorts like 'hell', 'what in the world', 'damn' 'crap, etc. The shift toward the solidified cuss words including the 'f***' or 'f******' or 'as****e' assortments can be followed to the mid seventies in Hollywood films. Over the long run it consistently advanced to the mid nineties and afterward the advancement has been outstanding with pretty much every film utilizing those words generously. It is said or even accepted that agricultural nations like India fall behind any 'progress' in America or the by around twenty years. In this way, we first look at the situation in Quite a while.

At the point when we were in schools times were not current like the present, however most certainly families were more refined as opposed to moderate, and for good families the expressing of swear words was an untouchable. Anything cuss words were available for use those were restricted to a small bunch of back-benchers and the utilization was simply of neighborhood shoptalk. The majority of us were awestruck on hearing such words. In any case, on occasion we used to get familiar with some exceptionally phenomenal nearby shoptalk, and in the soul of another disclosure on finding out about a never-known about word without understanding its significance I once expressed that in a sing-tune way before my mom. My mom furiously requested me to quiet down right away, and I taught the 'fairness', once more.

In school days a few external impacts from different pieces of the country-generally from the northern side-gave new and more grounded oppressive shoptalk including the mother or the sister perpetually. Over higher examinations the words learnt expanded considerably, gradually graduating to the 'f' or 'a' types in the eighties which is confirmed by the reality expressed above with respect to Hollywood movies beginning the drive in the seventies. Obviously, this doesn't imply that the swear-word peculiarity is a rising capability of higher learning. Nonetheless, we can say certainly that this has a great deal to do with the innovation, urbanization and the regular worldwide film celebrations which thusly mean more 'openness' to Hollywood and other 'generously sensible' films from different nations.

From the Brilliant Period of Bollywood or Hindi film of the fifties-sixties up to the present-day in fact sound motion pictures the standard motion pictures so far are for the most part liberated from the solidified or current swear words-restricted exclusively to the generally blameless nearby maltreatments because of their point of 'family diversion' for more vigorous trade. Just a small bunch of motion pictures that professed to be different as far as subjects or storyline or 'obvious authenticity' utilized those solidified words, yet specifically enough, to not outrage the edit board individuals to an extreme. Most movie producers saw the utilization of the solidified swear words in everyday discussions of especially the cutting edge 'moderate' youth populace, yet at the same time didn't proceed a liberal measurements in anxiety toward the edit load up where the individuals actually inclined toward tolerability or traditionalism obviously, turning out to be consistently more lenient. The standard TV serials in India obviously have been thoroughly liberated from the particular swear words, again because of the 'family' discernment. Granted, we're not discussing sexual substance or foulness in any public/provincial motion pictures or serials.

Hollywood films with the developing openness of the young in a cutting edge computerized India have prevailed with regards to entering the Beyond ridiculous (OTT) delivering and streaming serials/motion pictures in a fierce way, since there were no blue pencils or administrative experts for these creations till as of late when the Public authority of India awakened to this 'danger' to goodness. These days, head out to any chronic or film on an OTT stage and you'll promptly find a 'content warning' that beginnings with the part of 'foul language' among others. The R or X evaluated films which were confined before to youth under 18 years old are accessible with the 13+ appraisals. This implies that the expressions of the 'f' or 'a' assortments are set to immerse the nation soon or have previously done as such. Virtually every male or female person in the OTT creations mouths a 'f' or 'a' word practically in each exchange regardless of any need for doing as such. Because of Hollywood, this is an elegantly 'liberal' pattern that furies right now.

Yet. Why by any stretch of the imagination? Is this authenticity of the third kind in humankind? Scientists say that Americans or Westerns utilize pretty much 1% swear expression of the solidified assortments in day to day presence while their motion pictures use it past 25% in a solitary film. This standard can be completely applied to the Indian public too with respect to the OTT streaming. We guess the peculiarities of a companion tending to his/her soul mate as a 'f****** as****e' is as yet thought to be exceptionally hostile in any family across the globe. In any case, sadly, we find such articulations in overflow in the 'family' scenes including guardians and even offspring of Hollywood motion pictures or the Indian OTT.

I'd pass on it to you in the event that we really want to simply snicker at this remarkable 'authenticity' or be worried about this, wild in the enormous, little and miniature screens across families the individuals from which as a general rule truly do get isolated from one another by those very screens.

Chinmay Chakravarty is an expert imaginatively taken part recorded as a hard copy. He has an extraordinary jumping at the chance to see individuals cheerful and grinning generally. So he has dedicated a sizable lump of his composing time to go along with pieces dependent for the most part upon day to day existence and perceptions. He was an official of Indian Data Administration and obsolete from the post of Chief, Press Data Agency, Kolkata in November, 2019. Distributed his most memorable book on Humor 'Chuckle and Let Snicker' in 2017 and his second humor fiction 'The Somber Driver and Other Stories' in 2021.

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philip-hamilton-official · 2 years

Note

My darling,

I write to see how my lovely boy fairs. I unfortunately had to ask many a time to have permission to write you and they say they will be checking through everyone’s letters upon completion. It is a strange and strict place. Every one here is mostly like myself. Desire wise at the very least. We aren’t allowed to paint but we can color using crayons and markers. They will not allow us pens, pencils or paintbrushes. Too many accidents according to the nurses. We must also take medicine to help ease us through the day. I don’t very much enjoy taking them. It makes me feel numb on the inside. But they claim tis for the safety of the other patients and nurses here. I tried to hide my second dodge under my tongue to spit out later, but they found it almost immediately and I were punished. Though I suppose I deserved such for not following their rules.

Anyhow, how are you holding up, my dear? How are Anna and Peyton? My babies. Will you tell them I miss them terribly already? I hope to see them soon. Oh, and Aslan and Basil, of course! Papa and Père are doing well, yes? I hope Père isn’t still upset with me after what I had said… I’d give anything to be able to apologize in person… Will you kiss the others for me? Especially Lewey, whom I’m sure is worried. Always the mother hen…

I miss you my dearest prince. Remember that I read your name in the stars still…

Forever yrs,

Elias

My dear Elias,

Nothing has strangled me so cruelly with heavier tears and despondency then your absence. If I had thought your time away at France was torture, then I am surely burning away in some sort of Hell. I wish all things permeance, despite the unlikelihood, but you are most truly the only specimen in which I crave eternity with. Had I thought I ever despised everything before, I am now most sorely mistaken. Without you there is no light, there is no warmth, and no joy at all; I shall sooner die from this plague of dull solitude that is life without you. In lesser words—I am miserable.

Anastasia fears with great terror that your return will be never. Peyton isn't well either, and is trying hard to pry responsibility from my grasp as to ease the stress—I am not to allow him. If I could bare a face of feign gallantry when cursed with a shot wound, I shall act with whatever mask the children require so we are not all a depressive lot. I have been feeding the rabbits, aside from the ring and your braided hair from France; Alsan is all that carries your same spirit in the shadow casted in your place. Papa seems in good spirits, Father too. The latter misses you just as desperately, I think he is too consumed with dread for your sake to be able to feel any reminiscence of anger or sorrow. Young Lewis has actually made the request to talk to you when abled.

On the subject of apologies; I owe you one, my dear. The prior night I had acted in a manner of having been consumed with several emotions, because I had been. In the face of things, a silly and minor agreement is the least of anyone's worries when you are drinking to escape slaughtering thoughts. I care less of any trust that was broken, and rather the dread of my darling drunk and alone by himself. I am sorry for having acted out on some trivial trust—I suppose I have past experiences to fault for my outrage at the slightest bit of distrust, but not an excuse all the same. Obsecro te satis nota cum Latinis ut haec pars sine oculis anonymi perspici possit, sed brevem licentiam lectionum mearum cum Domino Poole sumi. Plus virium mihi videtur deesse quam hic apud te egi. Praecipue nunc cum the filii mei omnem guttam operam requirunt.

Remember my everlasting love for you, mon cher. May it encourage you to rise from your current predicament, so I may have you in my arms once more and never let go as I have regrettably done.

Adieu

Yours, Philip A. Hamilton-Laurens

#asks #letters

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angelplummie · 3 years

Text

let’s say,,, for arguments sake,,, kirishima had gf that was very jealous and possessive... like SCORPIO jealous... he is obviously a very stunning man, he has a lot of devoted fans, he’s a hunk is what i’m saying, people are gonna drool over him, even if he wasn’t one of the most popular pros in the biz, he would still have a lot of female attention. which is PERFECT for you (gf with scorpio-like jealousy in question).

Sometimes he just needs to sedate you girl LMAO ur fuckinh wild. you’ll be out n about together at a cafe and some girls will make eyes at him (read: YOUR man) and he will entirely ignore them talking to you, staring at you, planning to fuck you when you get home to your shared apartment. not u tho, oh no.

you are staring at the girls, staring them dead in the eyes. you are making the FOULEST face you can muster, so disgusted LMAO you’re seething.

“Babe? Babe you listening-“

“One second eiji.”

He follows your gaze.

“Oh god, babe not again.” He groaned, suppressing a laugh.

Some people might be worried about your guard dog tendencies, but not him. He thought it was cute, he liked that you didn’t want anyone else to have him, just like how he didn’t want anyone else to have you.

He knew you trusted him just like he trusted you, but where the similarities stopped was that he didn’t care what anyone else thought. He wouldn’t care if the whole world wanted you, he knew only he would get to have you.

He had seen how stupid you got for his cock, a shred of his effort could have you cumming over and over, he didn’t even have to try a little bit. He had seen you beg for him enough times that he wasn’t even the slightest bit concerned that anyone else could take you away, because you were both fully aware that no one could ever be better than him.

You on the other hand, seemed to be enraged at the very suggestion that someone else could want him, even a little bit. It was outrageous, how could people so openly flirt with him when he was very clearly yours. It didn’t matter how pussy drunk he got, eating you out for hours, how he convinced you to go pantie-less to a disgusting amount of events just so he could pull you aside later and not have to faff when he wanted to hump your perfect, wet pussy in the nearest secluded area. You knew they would never get anywhere, but it still got on your tits they would even try.

“Gotta beat these girls off with a stick, damn,” you muttered, and he laughed.

“Tell me about it.”

He reached over the little coffee shop table and wrapped his big hand around one of yours.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re really very pretty,” he sighed wistfully, placing his other hand under his chin, elbow supporting him. He admired your furious glower, the way you rolled your eyes when the girls caught on and turned back to their drinks. He beamed as your dark aura softened as you looked at him.

“Thank you,” you huffed, turning back to him,

“You know, I thought I was a feminist, but if one more girl give you fuck-me eyes, i swear to god.”

He snorted loudly and gave your hand a squeeze.

“Just so you know, I didn’t even see those girls until you stared them down. I only saw you.”

You sighed and brought his hand to your lips. It warmed your heart, but you were still cooling off.

“I know, I know. I’m the only girl in the whole world for you, same old same old.”

“I love you, my little gremlin.”

“Love you.”

part 2

it’s important to note this was inspired by this, please go read their stuff, an excellent page if i may say. if u enjoyed, reblogs are always appreciated!!! tyvm!!!

p.s like i mentioned, my scorpio sun is peaking out fr fr. also pls request more kiri with jealous gf this is fun

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thesunmeltedthegrayaway · 2 years

Text

We Wanted It All: Sodapop Curtis x Male!Reader

Warning: I just wanted to put a warning out there just incase this might upset anyone lol It has some heavy moments in my opinion so... you have been warned.

This is a request! If you would like to make a request take a look at (this post) for all of the characters I am currently writing for.

My Multi-fandom Masterlist

This request is for @mack-thedork

~~~

POV: Yours

We both knew that what we were could be considered wrong, immoral, and unnatural to most people. Yet, the moments we shared together eclipsed any worries we had... or at least we’d like to think so. It wasn’t until we separated from each other and the dizzying bliss we made each other feel fade away did reality creep back out at us. In those moments of isolation, I’d lay awake at night with fictitious scenarios presenting themselves behind my eyelids as I desperately tried to sleep. I imagined the angered and confused faces of those closest to us; the words of bile they spoke in disgust. As much as we didn’t want to care if someone else disapproved of us. It would always sting more when it’s someone as important as your family.

So, we hid our relationship from the people closest to us. Well, expect from Pony, he was a pretty smart and observant kid. He knew his brother all too well; he knew how he acted when he was completely enthralled with someone. The day he told me he knew about us was a day I could never forget. Mostly because he gave me a reaction that I wasn’t expecting at all.

~~~

Flashback

Pony had been acting weird all afternoon; he didn’t seem nervous or uncomfortable. But rather, a lot more observative than normal. His observations weren’t even on the schoolwork I was helping him out with. His observations were mostly on Soda and I. His questions made my head feel like it was spinning. Worry and panic began to fill my blood; my hands began to feel the urge to tremble.

“So, Y/N?” Ponyboy asks casually. For some reason, the start of this question in particular made my blood run cold. “Yeah?” I replied, trying to maintain the composure that was chipping away with each passing second. “Were you and Soda ever going to tell me that the two of you are together?” He asks, his casual and calm tone hadn’t faltered in the slightest. I didn’t really know how to react; I could feel the blood rush to my face. I felt the urge to both laugh and cry at the same time. I felt terrified, yet relieved too, finally someone new. And I wasn’t met with everything that I had imagined I would receive.

“Uh... I” I gasped in a breath trying to calm myself down. “How did you know?” I asked after my breathing had returned to a slightly more consistent pace. “Y/N, Soda's my brother. I know what he’s like when he falls in love with somebody. The second you came around I could just tell he was completely enamored by you.” Ponyboy explained. He sounded as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Oh,” Is all I could say in reply. I was bracing myself; I was waiting for him to yell and shout in outrage and disapproval. But all he really did was look at me like he always did, kindly.

“Y-you’re okay with all of this?” I question skeptically. “As long as you’re both happy, I’m fine with your relationship.” Pony replied honestly, I finally like out a sigh of relief. It felt as though I could finally relax. “Thanks Pone.” I say appreciatively. “Just don’t get pregnant and run off to Florida, okay?” Pony joked. I laughed at his joked, shaking my head at the randomness of it. “I can assure you that will not happen.” “It better not...”

And just like that, we got back to how we normally acted. The fact that I was dating his brother didn’t hinder him in any way. There was no tension or passive aggressive comments. It was just normal, blissfully normal... End of Flashback

As nice as Pony’s reaction was, I knew not everyone was going to act that way. Those worries and doubts I had only subsided slightly. So, for a while, Ponyboy was the only one who really knew what was going on.

But there was a downfall about secrets, they could only stay hidden for so long...

~~~

It felt like any other afternoon, school had just gotten out. Ponyboy and I were walking back to his house. I had the full intention of helping him out with his history report. But, something, or should I say someone threw a wrench in them almost immediately.

“No, it would be-” My sentence was interrupted by the sound of the screen door creaking open before slamming shut. I wondered who it could have been, but my theories were shut down a few seconds later. Soda walked into the kitchen, a lazy yet attractive grin resting on his lips.

“Hey,” I greeted brightly, I walked over to him wrapping my arms around the back of his neck before pecking his lips. “I thought you weren’t supposed to get off till 7 tonight.”

I felt a pair of arms snake themselves around my hips before I was pulled closer to Soda. “I got off early, I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“You haven’t seen me in weeks.” I reply.

Soda and I could never really go on dates due to the gang always being around town. And being alone was an impossibility for us most of the time.

“You’ll just have to wait for me to help Pone finish his report, then we could spend some time together.” I add with a shy smile.

“I should be fine now Y/N, you two can go ahead and spend some time together.” Ponyboy spoke up, making Soda and I take our attention off of one another.

“You sure because I really don’t mind-”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Ponyboy reassured.

I gave him a grateful smile before uttering a “Thanks.”

~~~

We ended up hanging out in Soda and Pony’s room. I was, in all honesty fighting sleep; my head rested in his lap. One of his hands had interwoven itself into my hair.

“You trying to put me to asleep Curtis?” I asked tiredly.

He let out a smooth laugh before replying. “No, but I do have to admit you look absolutely adorable half-asleep.”

His free hand moved to cup my face; his thumb lightly brushed itself back and forth against my cheek. “I know I don’t get a chance to tell it too you often Darlin’ but I love you.”

I smiled fondly at him before replying. “I love you too.” Soda began to lean down. I leaned up, meeting him half way. Our lips gently interlocked together, before I knew it, that all too familiar dizzying bliss consumed me again.

But before I knew it, our moment of serenity would come crashing down in a matter of seconds. We didn’t react fast enough to pull apart when his bedroom door slammed against the wall abruptly. We did however, move as quickly as we could once we heard an all too angry and familiar voice.

“The hell is goin’ on here!?” The gentle grips we had on one another tightened immensely at the sound of Darry’s angered question. “Get off of him!” Darry shouted at me. I pretty much jumped out of Soda’s hold the second I was ordered to.

“Darry-” Soda started but he was cutoff almost immediately.

“Don’t even try to come up with an excuse for this... this-” Darry looked as though he wanted to puke. His face was so red with rage I thought steam would come out of his ears. “Disgrace!” He hissed out.

“W-we didn’t want you to find out about us this way.” You strained out; your pulse felt as though it was going to beat right out of your skin.

“It should even be something at all!” He yelled, it almost sounded like a roar.

“Darry knock it off!” Ponyboy spoke up bravely, I was surprised he was stepping in.

Darry’s head turned around as soon as he heard Pony’s voice. “What’s goin' on here Pony?” His voice wavered as he spoke, his breath was now coming out in small huffs.

“It’s not my place to tell you!" Pony replied.

Darry turned back around to face us; his jaw was now clenched. “One of you better start explainin’ yourselves before I flip out.” He warned in a deadly tone.

I could hear a slight sniffle coming from Soda. I was tempted to try and comfort him. But I thought if I did Darry would end up dragging me out of the house by the collar of my shirt.

“Look, you know what you saw-” Soda forced out. He huffed in a stuttering breath trying to calm himself down. “I-I’m g-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Darry sounded mortified; his expression filled with disappointment.

“I love him Darry,” Soda admitted in a pained whisper. “And I don’t want you to hate me for it.” He began to full on sob, and before I knew it, tears fell down my eyes too.

Darry just looked down at us, his arms crossed tensely. “Y/N, just go.” He spoke, his tone now a lot calmer than before. But that didn’t make me feel any better; in all honesty, it terrified me more.

I listened to him, slowly rising up from Soda’s bed. As I walked past Darry, I took one last look at Soda. His face was red; tears stained his cheeks. I brushed past Pony as I made my way toward the front door. My nausea and worry began to be the only thing I could focus on. I pushed open the screen door. Despite the cool and refreshing air, I felt more flustered than ever.

“Y/N! Y/N, wait!” I heard Pony shout from the porch, my hand still gripped the gates handle as I watched him run over. “Y/N, I swear I tried to stop him from comin’ in. But he saw Soda’s DX shirt and-” He ranted shakily.

“It’s fine I’m sure you did everything you could.”

“I didn’t think he would act like that.” Pony said meekly.

I gave Pony a sad smile before replying. ”I did,” I could feel my face begin to burn, tears welled up in my eyes. “I’ll see you around.” I added brokenly.

“See you...” He muttered quietly.

~~~ POV Change: Pony’s

I could feel my stomach twist when Y/N left my line of vision. I didn’t want to walk back into the house. My mind filled with the possibilities of the things Darry could do. Maybe he’d yell and rant, spit words of hatred out at Soda. Or worse, throw Soda out entirely. My nails dug into the palms of my hands as I walked back to the house. I reluctantly pushed open the screen door and walked into the kitchen. Darry stood there, leaning tensely on the countertop. He turned around to face me as soon as he heard the sound of my footsteps.

“How long have they been together? Soda won’t tell me.”

I went to answer but he interrupted me.

“And don’t give me that “it’s not my place to tell you.” Crap either, I want answers.”

“I only found out about it a few months back. They never told me when they got together.” I answer honestly.

“So, you’ve known about this for months and didn’t care to tell me?” His tone was beginning to get tense again.

I nodded, “They didn’t want me to tell anyone, and I respect that.”

“H-how can you be so okay with this?” Darry asked incredulously, he rubbed his face as if he was trying to wake himself up. “There is no way you could handle that mess this well.”

I scoffed at Darry’s question and fought the urge to roll my eyes. “Darry it’s a relationship not a mess. And I can handle it just fine because there’s nothing wrong with it. You’re the one who can’t handle it for some reason.”

Darry went to say something but stopped himself. He stomped off to his room slamming the door shut. I waited a few seconds before walking toward Soda and I’s room. He sat numbly on the bed, his tears finally ceasing themselves.

“Did he say anything to you?” I asked reluctantly not wanting to upset him again.

“No,” He whispered. “He just asked me how long we were together and then left.”

I sat down next to him on the bed and pulled him in for a hug.

“He hates me Pone, I know he does.” His voice sounded so hurt as he spoke.

“He doesn’t hate you, he just... doesn’t understand.” I tried to say my words carefully.

He didn’t reply to me, we just sat there with an overwhelming anxiety. All we could do was hope Darry didn’t do anything irrational...

~~~ POV Change: Soda’s

The next morning had rolled around and Darry hadn’t said a word to me all day. The gang hadn’t even been around. I guess they had a feeling that something wasn’t right with the three of us. I had just finished getting dressed after getting out of the shower. The bathroom door knocked abruptly, making me jump slightly.

“Get movin’ Soda you don’t want to be late for work.” Darry called out from the other side of the door.

I didn’t respond to him; I didn’t even really know what to say. I heard him sigh through the other side of the door. “I’ll give you a ride, just hurry up.“ He walked away before I could reply.

I felt a bit of relief that he was talking to me again. But I also felt dread at the thought of being in the truck with Darry. I didn’t know all the things he wanted to say or do. But I would have to face him at some point; the sooner I did it, the better I would feel. So, after taking a moment calm down, I walked out of the bathroom and out the front door.

The drive was silence, I just stared out the window not wanting to look at Darry. I went to get out as soon as the DX came into view.

He suddenly cleared his throat before he began to speak. “Soda, first off, I just want to say that I could never hate you.” He spoke earnestly. “I love you to death little brother.”

“I love you too...” I replied in relief.

“But-” He paused, contemplating what to say next. “I don’t want you to see Y/N anymore.”

My heart sunk rapidly and the panic I felt yesterday returned in a matter of seconds. “Darry, I- I can’t do that.”

“Soda,” He voice began to sound frustrated again. “Do you know what could happen if word gets out that your together with Y/N? It could ruin your life!” He hissed out.

“I don’t care Darry! Y/N brings me a happiness I hadn’t felt in a while!”

“Well, I do care and I am not going to watch you throw your life down the toilet. You’re breaking up with him!”

“No Darry! You don’t under-” I protested.

Darry’s hand slammed against the wheel of the truck, making my sentence stop in its tracks. “Damn it Soda! Now you listen to me, you and Y/N are done! Am I making myself clear?”

I didn’t reply to him off the bat, my teeth harshly bit my lip.

“Hello?” Darry spoke up wanting a reply.

“Fine.” I answered reluctantly.

I didn’t want this... I didn’t want to break up with Y/N at all.

“Good, now get into work before you’re late.”

~~~

POV: Yours

I thought I had a death wish, or that I was going insane. I didn’t know what I was thinking when I began to walk down to the Curtis’s house after what had just happened the day before. But I was worried. I wanted to know how Soda was doing. I wanted to know if Darry was treating him any differently now. My curiosity and worry seemed to be more than any wrath Darry would give me.

When I approached the house, I saw Pony sitting on the porch. He seemed happy to see me, he greeted me with a smile.

“Hey Y/N,”

“Hey, is... Soda doing alright?”

“He’s-” Pony’s sentence was cut off by the sound of the screen door opening. My nerves were set ablaze once I saw Darry lean outside. His icy green/blue eyes pierced right through me.

“What do you want?” He spoke with slight hostility.

“I uh, I was just wanting to see if everything was alright here after the other day.”

“Everything’s fine and if you were wanting to see him, he’s not here.” Darry replied.

“Where is he?” I asked feeling slightly skeptical for some reason.

“He’s out with Sandy.” He answered without a second of hesitation.

I felt my heart sink, I could feel a pressure in my chest at even the mention of her name. “Oh... I should go then.”

I could see Ponyboy was beginning to feel worried. He sat up straight and scrambled to speak.

“I’ll walk you back.” Ponyboy said as he unceremoniously got up off the porch.

“I think they’ll be fine Pony.” Darry replied with a forced smile.

“C’mon Dar it’s late, he might get jumped.” Ponyboy argued making Darry’s jaw tense.

Darry gave Pony a glare before replying. “Fine, but get your butt back here as soon as you can.”

“I will Dar don’t worry.” Pony reassured, he walked off the porch pretty much dragging me with him.

“You don’t have to walk me back Pone, I would’ve been fine.” I mutter as we began to walk up the street.

“He isn’t out with her,” Pony spoke completely ignoring my previous sentence. “He hasn’t talked to her in a while.”

I sighed not really wanting to talk about Sandy. “How do you even know?” I asked with a broken laugh.

Pony didn’t answer my question, we just walked in silence. “Just follow me.” He said vaguely.

He then began to walk in the opposite direction of my house. It looked like we were heading toward the field near here. As we grew closer to the usual unkept field, I began to notice a small light in the distance.

“Wh-what is that?” I asked squinting my eyes at the light.

“You’ll see.” Pony replied, I could tell he had begun to smile.

My question would be answered a minute later. Pony and I approached a small little picnic that rested on a hastily laid down blanket. But that wasn’t what was fully pulling my attention. Soda was sitting nervously in front of it; his back was turned to us.

“Soda.” Is the only thing I could think to say.

He turned himself around to face me, a smile crept onto his lips. He stood up walking over to me slowly, we just stared at each other at first.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Ponyboy spoke up before walking back up the field.

I was pulled into a warm hug. I melted in Soda’s embrace almost immediately. My face burrowed, my face burrowed in the crook of his neck, and held him as tightly as I could.

“You okay Y/N?” I could feel Soda’s heart beating rapidly against my chest. His pulse fluttering against my cheek.

“I’m as okay as I can be after yesterday.” I reply with a weak laugh.

We pulled back slightly from our embrace; our noses now lightly pressed against one another. Soda leaned in, his soft lips entrapping themselves in mine passionately yet methodically, too. His hands were cold as they cupped my face, but I didn’t mind. He pulled apart from the kiss, giving me a quick peck on the cheek after we caught our breath. He carefully pulled me to sit down on the ground with him; his charming smile returned to his lips.

But, as happy as he may have looked to other people, I could tell something was eating away at him still. I didn’t want to interrogate him right away; however, I wanted to bask in the enamor that filled the air. We ate and drank in a comfortable silence before lying down to look up at the sky.

“Y/N?” Soda spoke up, I could tell his voice had a trace of reluctance in it.

“Yeah?”

“You know I love you darlin’, right?”

Despite the sweetness of his sentence, I couldn’t help but feel dread.

“Of course, and I love you too.” I turned my head to look over at him, our eyes locked onto each other.

“I know you do... but,”

Here it comes. I only had a few seconds to prepared myself for the punch I was about to feel on the middle of my chest.

“Darry doesn’t want us to see each other anymore.” Soda admitted sadly, his eyes now swimming in remorse.

“Wh-what?” My phrased cracked, my nerves began to skyrocket again. My hands had begun to feel numb. “Are... are you-”

“I don’t want to,” Soda interjected in a panic. He sat up; his hands now clenched in a fist. “But I don’t know what to do.” He added hopelessly.

I sat up myself, looking over at him sympathetically. “I’m sorry.” I comforted now leaning my head on his shoulder.

“I feel so confused. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know why Darry can’t be happy about that. Darry is headstrong on the idea of us not being together. I- I...”

I knew what I had to do, even if it pained the both of us immensely. Losing someone as important as Darry would be even worse for him, I feel. I sat up straight again making Soda look over at me.

“You should listen to your brother.” I spoke tearfully. “You can’t lose him Soda; I know you love him to death.” I added with a tremble.

He looked over at me heartbroken, it was a look I never wanted to see from him. “But we could date in secret like before he doesn’t have to know.” His said quickly.

“That’s what we tried before; it didn’t work out too well.” I explain.

“Y/N...”

“Your family is important to you and I don’t want to see you lose it.”

“You’re important to me too!” He exclaimed.

I gave him a tearful smile before replying. “I’m not as important as them.” I gave him one last kiss, savoring the blissful high it made me feel.

“I’m sorry... I love you.” I then got up, walking away with no intention of looking back. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t get the strength again to walk away.

I guess it was foolish to want it all.

To be continued...

#sodapop curtis imagine #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis #sodapop curtis oneshot #the outsiders oneshot #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders x y/n #the outsiders

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seungstarss · 2 years

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✧ 𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃'𝐒 𝐋𝐀𝐖: 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 (preview)

Preview wc: 515

❗️READ HERE❗️

PAIRING › Play boy! Heeseung x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS › After a bland highschool experience, you immediately gravitate to your university's most outrageous matchmaking club, "The Cupid Club." Your job was simple: to collect information on your client's love interest and then pair them together. After two years on your "job," everything became less horrific and getting couples together almost seemed like a natural occurrence. That is until you're tasked to collect information on Lee Heeseung, the infamous rugby captain who is coincidently known as the biggest player on campus.

GENRE › college au, major angst (don't be fooled by the pink banner!!), consultant! reader x rugby captain! Heeseung, heartbreak, crack, fluff

WARNING(S) › swearing, heavy drinking (tba)

ESTIMATED RELEASE DAY › end of April, beginning of May

ESTIMATED WORDCOUNT › 12-15k(?)

TAGLIST › open

NOTES › This is a preview of my fic for @jungwoniics ' "just out of reach" collab

Love was an unexplained phenomenon that entwined souls together. It was an experience of rather difficult trifles which blossomed into ultimate bliss. To be with someone you found truly admirable and to lead a life with them for as many years as they lasted was society's idea of a dream come true. Love seemed to be something like a goal to people, while to others, it was rather a burden. To you, it was a lackluster ordeal filled with complications and hurdles — an experience you didn’t want to indulge in.

The giddy freshmen were always entertaining to watch. The yearning they all had to start fresh, lead a new life, to grow and become a part of society.

That is what college was

A greater look into society.

You had grown weary to the accustoms of welcoming newcomers to the school. Their excitement clearly not phasing you in the slightest. The way they would greet you and ask you for directions. You had found them cute before, but now, you couldn’t spare another waking moment guiding a freshman through the halls, introducing them to every passing professor you came across. You had grown tired. People made you tired.

In freshman year, you joined the school’s consulting club, “the cupids club.” You found the name rather stupid, but the more you grew to understand the club, the more fitting it seemed to be. It wasn’t any consulting club — it consisted of bringing two people together, two people who failed to communicate their feelings to one another. The heavy burden of match making was one of the stress inducing activities in addition to your own school work. Yet, you found it intriguing, to bring people together and watch them form a special bond with each other.

Your job was simple, to analyze the receiver of love. To learn about their dislikes and likes, hobbies and any other useless pieces of information. Your job was to convey these pieces of information to the person consulting you for assistance. It was a simple job.

So what made it so difficult?

You grew to realize that freshman were the worst clients. All of them fresh into college and wanting to obtain and secure their significant other without their parent’s constant blabbing. Freshmen had the highest expectation. Once a first year finds out about the school’s cupid club, the rest of the freshmen automatically know too. And with so much attention and desire, they were never kind with their requests. Their demands strayed too high, and most of them went for unobtainable matches.

For example, Lee Heeseung.

The lad wasn’t exactly unobtainable. He was rather easy to woo, but he wasn’t easy to keep.

You had received a total of twenty requests, asking for you to set them up with Mr. Lee Heeseung before valentines day. Except there was an issue.

You knew nothing about the boy.