#and one even managed to throw shade on me bc it has been like 2 weeks since the event

[tchaikovskym]

Man this day sucked balls

#i had to get up at 5:45am #that was the first worst sign #it was well until i went home for my zoom lesson #since i was like the main coordinator for one big event which had multiple small events #my boss called me and was like hey where is the portable ultrasound for the event #and she found it but the charger was missing #so i asked people responsible for the smaller events who used that ultrasound if they know anything and they were like nope #and one even managed to throw shade on me bc it has been like 2 weeks since the event #after my zoom lesson i cried abt that stupid charger #but i was like hold up i have 20 minutes only to cry bc i have my next lesson in person and i have to go #and then i went and i managed to forget abt that stupid lost charger #and i was like yay i will learn python #and then i did learn the basics and then it started to get complicated and i was lost and then our task was like #hell #and then i tried to make something at least of my task. to like define functions and stuff #and it wasnt possible #and then our teacher kind of wrote the script for the 1st part of the assignment #and i was like okay #and i tried it and the int thing didnt work it was like no you cant put it there where your teacher put it #and i was like fuck then #i just learned how to write a if else and now i have to make two different triangle area scripts baded on input and so that it would work #for non existing triangles #and like what does it mean a triangle with 4 3 and 9 as edge lengths #what do you want from me? an error output? triangle does not exist? what? #either way im fucked #i have to wake up just as early tomorrow #and i have to do a lecture for schoolkids on saturday and my ppt is not finished #and its not like ill have time tomorrow bc i work from 7am to 9pm bc im maybe a masochist #which means even less sleep #i think i have so much going on i want to just. scream.

[sarcastically-defensive17]

can i request an imagine where calum & the reader are dating and she gets in a car accident & totals her car? and calum and the boys are in another car and see traffic is slowed bc of the accident and cal recognizes her car and asks them to pull over as she’s freaking out because the ambulance is trying to help her calm down but she’s freaking out and can’t call cal because she can’t find her phone that’s in the car but she ends up fine w a few bruises and scratches & it’s all fluff at the end?

Gonna be late - C. Hood

TRIGGER WARNING: Description of car accident and physical injuries, and anxiety.

Sorry this took so long, lovie! Been super busy lately! Hope you like it!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Car accidents are always shown as something so quick in movies.

A split second collision, the car jolts and is thrown around. The person inside is struck with whiplash and tossed about in a quick movement and often the aftermath is quite horrible.

Y/N discovered that movies are total bull Shit.

She was on her way to meet her friends, and her boyfriend, traveling down the Main Street of the town with music playing in the background as she thrummed her fingers along the steering wheel.

Calum always felt shy when she played his music, but she adored the sound of his voice. Every time his dulcet tone travels through the speakers a smile bursts onto her face.

She was listening to Babylon when it happened.

Anything that she had seen in the media felt like the biggest lie in that moment.

What was really a few minute action felt like a lifetime.

Her mind was focused on the road ahead of her, but the subconscious part of her mind was focused on the brown eyed man she gave her heart to.

They had been together for nearly 2 and a half years and at the point of considering living together.

Now, she had been on her way from work to meet with Calum, the guys and their girls for a much needed night out.

Between study and work she had barely had a time to relax, so Calum got onto Crystal who Y/N knew not to argue with about plans and organized for her to meet all of them at her favourite diner for dinner and drinks afterwards.

The sky was barely starting to go dark when the Subaru connected with the passenger side of the car.

She was doing 60 and her car was pushed sideways into the lane next to her.

The impact tore a grunt from her throat and the drivers side connected with a car parked on the side of the road.

Time seemed to slow as her head connected with the steering wheel and the drivers side door squashed in on her arm.

For a minute she saw black.

She came to with a pounding in her head that resembled a bad hangover, but the blood dripping in her eye brought her to her senses.

Despite the agony in both her arm and her head, she could only think of one thing: She needed to tell Calum she would be late. He would worry about her.

She just needed to get her arm out so she could get her bag that was on the passenger side. A quick text to Calum was all she needed

She just couldn’t reach.

<><><><><>

Calum couldn’t wait to see her. They basically lived together and saw each other every day, but last night he spent it at his own house.

She had an early class followed by a shift at work so he said goodnight to her at 7pm the previous night and left knowing he would see her at the bar the following day.

They were well past the honeymoon stage. Their love was past romantic, past companionate. They were bordering on full consummate love and he couldn’t find a moment where he didn’t have her at least in the back of his mind.

He truly loved her, and they both knew they shared the sentiment.

“All I’m saying is, you don’t know if zebras are black with white stripes, or white with black stripes.”

“What does it matter, Ash?” KayKay laughed from the front seat.

He decided to carpool with Ashton and Kaitlin, as he knew he was going home with Y/N that night.

Their conversations had ranged anywhere from aliens to the colour green and now to zebras and their stripes.

Cal couldn’t deny that he tuned out when KayKay and Ash were disputing the intensity of a specific shade of green.

The ride was energetic and gave off a certain ambience that Calum found himself basking in.

Lately, the only time he ever felt relaxed was with Y/N, but he was enjoying the time spent with his friends and the anticipation of seeing the woman he loved.

Hell, he was just excited to be able to sleep next to her that night. He always slept better with her beside him.

“Shit.” Calum felt the car slow, KayKay pushing her foot into the break with the pace of the car in front. “Calum is that-“

“It looks like it,” Ashton cut her off, whispering in a hushed voice for fear of setting off the Maori mans fight or flight.

They both knew that it would definitely be fight.

When it came to Y/N he would always fight for her.

His brown eyes captured the sight of her white Jeep. He knew immediately it was hers.

“Pull over,” he demands even though the car is almost at a complete stop.

His belt is off and his door is flung open. His ears are deaf to Ashton’s calls.

He clears a car and an ambulance comes into view. There are three paramedics crowded around the car, and two others tending to another car.

He didn’t know what had happened but he needed to know if his girl was okay.

He could hear her cries coming from the vehicle.

“I need to call my boyfriend,” she was breathing heavily. Her voice was cracking and sounded strained.

His heart broke at the sound. He could hear the pain she was in, yet her only thought was of him.

In any other circumstance he would be flattered, but all he could focus on was the paramedic telling her to stay calm because she has a head wound.

“No, please. You need to call him. You need to tell him I’m going to be late.” He got closer to the car, and he could see firefighters working at the door next to her.

Paramedics were on the passenger side of the car that had been dented, but at this moment he could care less about the car.

“Please, I just need to talk to him,” she was pleading.

“Ma’am you need to relax. We will call your boyfriend as soon as we can get you out and looked over.”

“But he’s waiting for me,” she was crying. From the pain or her stress, he didn’t know.

His feet felt more sluggish as he got closer to her, but he couldn’t stop his voice.

“Y/N?” He crouched down near where the paramedics were and his heart ached at the sight.

She was virtually untouched save for the head wound and her arm that had disappeared into the car door.

There were tears on her face and her skin was blotchy from the sobs underneath the blood.

Still, she lit up when she saw him.

“Calum! Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she moved slightly, cringing at the pain in her arm. “Crystals gonna kill me. I ruined our night.”

Calum couldn’t help but laugh, “she won’t care, baby. It’s fine, I’m right here with you.”

“I’m guessing this is the boyfriend?” The paramedic quipped. He was tall but he managed to fit into the small space to hold a gauze against her forehead. “No more tears now?”

The firefighters made quick work of the door. It was crumpled around her arm and they needed to stabilize it as they moved her.

She was into the ambulance for an assessment not long after and they began the ride to the hospital.

Calum made sure to send a quick message to Ashton informing him of the situation, but he turned his phone off after.

He needed to focus on Y/N.

A few hours later and she woke up in a white hospital room, her arm in a cast and elevated and a thick wrap around her head.

Calum was asleep on a chair beside her. He was sleeping so peacefully.

Naturally, she throw a sock at him.

“Hey! Melon!”

He snorted awake, blinking deliriously at the girl perched on the bed.

Despite the pain she was in previously, she beamed at him. Her smile could always settle his worries.

“I’ll let that one slide but stop calling me that!” He laughed at her, standing up and stretching.

She used the one hand that wasn’t in the sling to make grabby hands at him, prompting him to laugh once again and settle on the bed next to her.

“So, dr. Hood. What’s the damage?” She smiled, nuzzling into him.

“The damage is that you have a shattered forearm and a mild concussion. Also, you’re never driving yourself anywhere again. You’re coming with me,” he whispered to her, pressing a kiss to his head. “I can’t tell you how scared I was when I saw your car on the side.”

“As scared as I was being yknow, the one in the car?” She winked, pulling him closer so she could hug him more.

“I love you, you know that right?” He kissed her forehead once again. It was his favourite place to kiss her. She believed it was the most intimate and sweet place to kiss somebody, and he had done so since they started their relationship.

“I love you too, Melon,” she smirked once again.

He was thanking anybody who was there to listen that she was okay. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done if she wasn’t.

“So, I think this is a good time to revisit our conversation about living arrangements,” he said as he toyed with her hands, resting her smaller fingers against his own. “Because, if we lived together, I could fulfill my dream of being your personal chauffeur.”

“Calum, your dream was to make it big with your friends.”

“And I did that. Now this is my new dream.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re gorgeous,” he smiled.

She rolled her eyes, kissing him softly on the lips. “You want to do this? Live together?”

“I really do, baby,” he was staring so intently into her eyes that it forced a redness to rise.

“Then lets do it, Cal. Let’s move in together.”

A smile broke out onto his face, wider than it was before and he leaned over her to kiss her deeply.

“How about I get you a cute little nurse outfit and you can take care of me?” She winked as she pulled away from his lips, allowing him to roll his eyes deeply.

Tag list:

@mantlereid @starshonerose @theanswertoeverythingisl0v3

If you’d like to be apart of the tag list, send me a message or an ask!!

#calum hood #calum hood x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #kaykay blaisdell

[goldrushzukka]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9. (Sorry, i know that's like...all of them)

1. what themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

i love writing coming out storylines. it’s not really that they’re uncommon, i just find a lot of catharsis in them. 

2. what are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? what would you avoid writing about?

i tend to avoid writing sibling dynamics bc i’m an only child and therefore not really. qualified. i love reading it though!! 

7. favourite description in your WIP?

it was really hard to pick one so i have a few answers for this bc i love to talk about myself so. (under the cut bc JESUS this got long but spoilers for and i’ll do anything you say (read it here!) ahead!!!)

- from chapter 2:

Sokka looks at him, a fantasy come to life, and takes off his stupid sweatpants.

He throws them at Zuko’s head, and earns himself a short burst of that real laugh, shocked and unguarded.

“You asshole,” Zuko says. He sits up and grabs Sokka’s hand, pulling him down on top of him. Something comes alive under Sokka’s skin where Zuko’s fingers graze his wrist. He calls it lust and ignores the fact that it feels nothing like it.

Zuko kisses him, his mouth still in the shape of laughter, and the alive thing screams for his attention. Sokka buries it and hopes it won’t deafen him before they’re done.

im very fond of this whole chapter (i think it’s probably my favourite? it was definitely the easiest to write) but i really love looking back on this part particularly now that we’re in the angsty part of the story bc this is where it all started. yes technically it started in chapter 1 but this is when sokka starts to fall for zuko. this is the beginning of all those pesky non-casual feelings that he’s going to pretend don’t exist until someone else calls him out on them.

- also from chapter 2:

He’s forty-five minutes late already, and when he knocks, a woman made of pursed lips and sharp angles answers the door. She looks elegant and expensive the same way a skyscraper does. Or a cache of medieval weaponry.

“Oh,” Sokka says, digging into his pocket to find the map on his phone. “I must have the wrong place, sorry -”

She looks him up and down, her eyes narrowed in a way that feels violent and practiced, and her smirk turns distasteful. Sokka risks a glance down at himself, at his torn up jeans - not distressed, just torn - and the Madonna t-shirt he’s pretty sure actually belongs to Katara, and thinks she might have a point. The bag in his hand feels heavier when her eyes land on it.

“Zuzu,” the woman calls into the apartment, “your dinner’s here.”

“I didn’t order -” Zuko appears in the doorway, bitter frustration in his expression as he looks at the woman.

His eyes fall on Sokka, though, and his face clears into a light-pollution smile.

this is technically two so i will start with: i love azula. i haven’t found any room to bring her back yet but believe me i am LOOKING. she’s hot and mean and gay and i LOVE HER. oh also insider scoop but suki’s date from earlier in this chapter.......WAS azula. they probably won’t see each other again because once azula met sokka and connected his face to the Best Friends Forever picture frame on suki’s desk she stopped answering the phone.

pt 2: i’ve had a couple of comments mention the “light-pollution smile” line specifically and i am always so happy to read them bc yeah. YEAH. i’ll admit it. that line HITS. 

- from chapter 4:

He sets his phone down - only, he doesn’t. He misses the table by a mile, and in his scramble to catch his phone before it breaks on the hardwood floor and wakes Momo on the cushion beside him, his hand finds the lip of his cereal bowl, and then that’s falling, too. He manages to catch the phone, but something in his head gets lost in translation on its way down his arms, and he ends up with a boxers-only lap full of soggy Cheerios.

Momo gets a splash of milk on his back and hisses at Zuko for his crimes, and somehow that’s the worst part of it.

haley @fruitysokka said that this passage reads like an action movie and i think about it all the time. (thank u haley i love u)

- lastly this extended metaphor from chapter 6:

The soup is good, once the heat of it clears him up enough to taste it. It’s thick and warm and there’s enough pepper that Sokka gets a kick from it even in his condition. He feels it all the way down his throat and into his stomach, where it mixes with the prickly nervousness he’s feeling from Zuko’s attention.

He sets the bowl down on the table and asks, eyes stuck on his hands in Momo’s fur where he’s climbed into his lap, “How was the date?”

“It was good, actually,” Zuko says. “Jet seems like a nice guy. He’s very - uh - passionate, I guess you could call it? He’s a climate and human rights activist.”

The spines of Sokka’s nervousness turn to daggers.

...

“I said yes. We’re getting lunch on Sunday.”

The daggers are swords now, and Sokka’s heart sinks down, down, down, right to the hilt.

...

“I’ll text you when I’m home,” Zuko promises, and Sokka’s heart skewers itself on a second sword.

Zuko’s smile when Sokka says, “Thank you for the soup,” is a third.

The door closing behind him is a fourth.

The silence as Sokka shuffles back to bed is every single one that remains.

something something canon swordsmen something pride comes before the fall something chivalry fell on his sword from eden by hozier. you guys get it i dont have to explain myself

8. favourite dialogue in your WIP?

ok so i cant share my actual favourite dialogue bc it's a spoiler for chapter 8 and i technically haven't written it yet (it's in my brain just.....plaguing me) but it's GOOD i SWEAR so. once again i have more than one answer bc actually? i love this fic and im proud of it. deal with it.

- from chapter 1:

“Hey, stranger,” Sokka says, still watching him in the mirror. The corner of Zuko’s mouth ticks up.

“You’re not following me, are you?” Zuko’s tone is seductive, endlessly so, and Sokka wonders while he dries his hands if he has to put it on or if he just sounds like that.

“You give a guy one compliment and he thinks you’re stalking him,” Sokka mutters, and Zuko laughs, low and enticing. Not the genuine, endearing laugh of this morning, but one with an agenda.

Well. Sokka always likes a plan.

“Are you following me? ” Sokka asks. He spies a miraculous dry patch on the sink bank and tries to be casual about the way he hops up to sit on it.

“I might be,” Zuko says, and at Sokka’s raised eyebrow, he continues, “I saw you at the bar and I wanted to talk to you. Sue me.”

“You wanted to talk.”

“Amongst other things.”

as a chronically awkward person i am INSANELY proud of the flirting in this fic. no idea if it would work in a real life situation. excited to never find out bc im not about to use lines from my fanfiction on real women. 

- from chapter 2

“You must be Suki,” Zuko says. He meets her gaze, and his fingers go still under Momo’s chin.

“And you’re Zuko,” Suki replies, her smile all different shades of intimidating. “I’d shake your hand, but I know where it’s just been.”

i wrote this entire scene just so i could have suki say this. im not even joking. suki is my favourite part of this entire fic and its not even ABOUT her.

- from chapter 3:

When Sokka crosses the room and slips under the covers beside him, Zuko says, “I can leave, if you want. I can go home.”

...

He asks, still barely hovering over Zuko, “What if I don’t want that?”

Zuko swallows. “I can stay.”

“So stay,” Sokka says, and lays his head down on Zuko’s chest.

i just think it’s sweet. i like it a lot. makes my heart hurt a little when i think about it. 

- from chapter 4:

[Suki // 15:13] there is a LOT of chmpagrjn

[Suki // 15:13] cahpmhagne

[Suki // 15:13] chsanpghn

[Suki // 15:14] alcohol :)

once again: suki is the best part of this whole fic. i love her so much. she is the reason the word bestie exists. im really proud of the texting in this fic bc it’s my first time actually including it in fic and it’s turned out really well!!

- ok last one bc i just realised this is turning into a novel. from chapter 4:

“How’s my baby?”

Zuko glances down at Momo, batting at the untied laces of his shoes with one determined paw. “He’s doing just fine.”

“And how’s Momo?”

“He’s - what?”

are there better written, more narratively important and emotive lines in this fic? yes. is this the best part of the entire thing? also yes. i invented the jin/yue wedding because i needed a reason for zuko to have a key in what became chapter 6, but sometimes i think the entire fic exists just for this exchange. best dialogue i have ever written.

9. what scene was the hardest for you to write and why?

the start of chapter 6 of aidays was difficult. i kept wanting to skip ahead to the meaty parts - i.e, zuko and his soup - but i didn’t want to do sokka a disservice like that. it was also really hard to maintain the balance of accurately describing the delirium of illness while still being coherent for the reader? so that took me a couple of days to get right.

#dreamrena #ask game #this got AWAY from me #anyway. #theres.....that #asks #mine #and ill do anything you say #might as well go in the tag since its all i talk about in this #uhhh. enjoy? #i have more thoughts on literally all of aidays so. at the risk of sounding even more in love w myself than i do in this already. #if theres anything else anyone would like to know more about (excluding spoilers obv) i am MORE than happy to talk about it #sam winchester voice The Lore

[r0h1rr1m]

rambly inception thoughts p.2

this has been kicked off, specifically, by disliking that i failed to include yusuf in this post but there’s already so much going on there re: exact limits/mechanics of imagination in dreams, how to call down projections, moral relativism, crack chara psych, and speculating on the future of ari’s career--and i explained most of it poorly anyway so it’s probably for the best!

to start with, i’ve always imagined that there’s a huge variety in the caliber/class of chemist u can hire in dreamshare. the title probably applies even to people whose capability starts and stops at sourcing base product for somnacin and/or the finished drug. the next level up can maybe mix up different kinds to standard specifications. idk how much education/training u’d need to be able to do this, bc i v much do not chemistry, but i’d bet there’s a lot of variety in ppl’s qualifications in this category, too. a standard formula might affect different ppl slightly differently, like any psychotropic drug (is that even the most sensible analogy to real-world science? idk and i don’t want to risk hours of ultimately fruitless wikipedia spiralling), but in the same vein, the variances will all probably fall within a reasonable range of the same functionality. without, like, some sort of neuro degree, probably, the most fine-tuning a chemist could do is optimize doses/known variants of the drug through trial and error in preparation for a job.

our man yusuf definitely has a high-level neuro degree

so, just like the rest of the team, yusuf is obviously a total powerhouse in his field. like i said, it must take sophisticated knowledge of brain chemistry in order to do what he did on the fischer job, as well as the same mad genius as the rest of them. (as an aside, can i just say how utterly delightful a team dynamic is “group of geniuses who surround themselves with enough people who are the same kind of batshit to normalize it”? i’m weak) and idk how someone gets famous in like neurochem but yusuf is so brilliant he was probably p well known. js imagine the comedic potential of whatever rising-star chemist meeting yusuf and js going dr. ____?! who published those completely revolutionary but completely balls-to-the-wall studies on x and then after throwing the discipline into an uproar either a) dropped off the face of the earth and is now known as smth of an urban legend/cryptid in the community or b) still corresponds w experts in the field but now about the wildest shit and ppl kind of have to mythologize/not think too hard abt the dude who walks in ppl’s heads in order not to risk js breaking everything

so yusuf knows his shit and his initial assertion that 3 levels is impossible can be trusted to carry a lot of weight. which means the fact that he proceeded to do it more than secures his place in the cast of demonstrable prodigies

now, bc this is ostensibly a continuation of a post that’s loosely focused on charas’ moralities, let’s look at the 2 parts of the movie where we most directly confront yusuf’s: his dream den and hiding the sedation from the team. i’m going with the assumption that any legitimate/legal research and application of dreamshare has been discontinued.

come yell at me for over oversimplifying, but that makes the question of the dream den seem p straight-forward. yusuf faced giving up dreamshare research (or came onto the scene after it was already illegal, which could make for some rly interesting stories abt how he would’ve found out abt it) and couldn’t, so he had to find a way to continue on his own. and since it would be in rly bad faith to assume he doesn’t have the full consent of all his test subjects, that’s js that. (i’m not going to argue abt the difference b/w ethics and morals, and i’m laughably unqualified to discuss the ethics of human experimentation anyway so moving on)

hiding the fact that the team was sedated was a major plot point and is discussed w according frequency, so i’m sure most ppl have their own opinions abt what this says abt the parties involved. i’ll readily admit that my view is heavily colored by the fact that i js plain like yusuf. he’s a likeable guy. (i’ll try not to go off on a tangent, but i know that my reasons for disliking cobb are a little unfair; it’s more about narrative structure than any of his personal failings. the fact is i have a weakness for hypercompetence, and cobb is presented as someone who used to be the best, but is no longer reliable. he shows flashes of his old brilliance running the mr. charles gambit successfully and improvising capitalizing on the appearance of fisher’s browning projection on l2, but he’s desperate enough to be untrustworthy and further, he’s untrustworthy in a way that is eminently predictable by the audience. we know from the get-go that his shade is gonna sabotage something, and it’s hard not to blame him for that. we also know from the get-go that he’s desperate enough to drag other ppl into a fool’s mission, and that he’s hiding something dangerous from arthur, who by all appearances should be the person cobb can trust, and the person to whom it’s most important to know that kind of shit. i’m not gonna pretend i anticipated that big twist in the parking garage on l1, but it makes a ton of sense in retrospect and all this makes it easy to see why cobb is so widely mistrusted/disliked by the fandom. and i went off on a tangent, whoops.)

so picking back up at yusuf is a likeable guy--he seems p friendly and easy-going and i thoroughly enjoyed every scene of him on l1. i’m gonna say a lot of his moral considerations come in the form of deciding what is or isn’t his responsibility. mbe he avoided or suitably resolved the thorny ethical question of human experimentation in the same way i kind of did: by saying that the participants agreed to it on their own and leaving it there. this kind of reasoning is how he would’ve let cobb take responsibility for sedating and then informing the team. it’s also probably how he decided to cue the kick early on l1 and make it everyone else’s problem. which i do think was the right decision! it would be absurd to suggest that this highly intelligent man’s patterns of reasoning are always questionable. but i do see a pattern.

as for the advice he’d give ari, i think a lot of this relates back to my mention in the earlier post of whether or not she could let an institution/legislation dictate her ethics to her. i’ve since decided that it’s simpler to assume the institutions are all outside the law, though, so i’m not going to think abt that anymore unless directly prompted. one thing we do know abt ari, though, in contrast to my suppositions abt yusuf, is that she has a v strong sense of responsibility. she took it upon herself to manage cobb, and she took it upon herself to save the job, fisher, saito, and cobb when it looked like everything had been ruined. thinking abt it now, this makes for further interesting contrast w arthur, whose sense of responsibility seems to revolve around personal loyalty, eames, whose sense of responsibility is acutely pragmatic, and saito, whose sense of responsibility is on the grand scale of stopping a monopoly (suitably ironic).

again, idk if i’ve rly made any kind of point, and now i want to go back and build elaborate hierarchies of skill in each job description (architect, extractor, etc) like i kind of did for chemists but, well. if u made it this far bless u, i hope u have a wonderful day. vote

#inception #yusuf #ariadne #arthur #eames #saito #if u haven't check out p.1 cus there's a lot there that i never rly expanded but am figuring out how to #running my mouth #yes absolutely #dom cobb

[thepeanutbutterwizard]

Ninjago/Avatar au Pt6

The second half of Book 2 (hopefully)

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5)

So Garm finally reads the letter from Wu. It starts off as a normal pseudo-journal entry, but after it mentions finding the Garms old armor, but no body, it turns into more of a normal letter. Wu says that he’s missed his brother since he was banished, and that he hopes that they’ll be able to see eachother again soon if Garm is alive, and ends with Wu saying that he normally burns the letters he writes to Garm, so that no-one else finds them, but that he feels hopeful that this one could actually get to him. It’s touching stuff.

Lloyd picks up earthbending almost immediately, unlike Aang. The element Lloyd is going to struggle to learn is fire (if you don’t count his airbending being self-taught. He picked up airbending really, really fast, but bc he’s been making stuff up and trying to do what Maya did with her waterbending [Maya’s had decades to hone her style tho, not just three-ish years, but he’s like someone learning ballet only from YouTube, for only a couple of months] since there are no more airbenders [or so they think, bc none of them saw Morro airbend at the North Pole]), and I’ll get into why that is when it comes up. They haven’t had Garm start to teach Lloyd any firebending bc they’re trying to go in the order as much as they can, but Garm has finally convinced Kai to learn more than just the basics, and he picks it up really quickly.

Meanwhile, Morro is taking care of an injured Wu (and accidentally making him suffer through poorly-made tea). Now, Morro is onboard with Wu wanting to leave the Fire Nation behind; unlike Zuko, Morro isn’t trying to win back the favor of some distant parent, the only family he’s ever known is Wu, and he’s not about to abandon Wu for a bunch of people who would probably kill him as soon as they could no matter what he did for them, and Harumi made it clear that no-one in the Fire Nation is going to be extending them any mercy.

Once Wu wakes up, Morro does yell at him for doing something as stupid as taking a hit from a well-trained firebender to protect a stranger (Wu hadn’t gotten around to telling Morro ‘hey, you know that guy with the big burn scar who’s traveling with the Avatar? That’s my dead-but-not-really-dead older brother. Pls stop trying to stab him’, and Morro wasn’t there when Garm revealed his identity in the North Pole), until Wu tells him that Garm is his brother. This leads to Morro yelling out ‘You mean to tell me that the Avatar is my cousin?!?!’ And that how Wu learns that Lloyd is Garms son (’wait, what?’ ‘Have you really gone this long without noticing that the Avatar calls your brother his dad?’ ‘I’ve had a lot on my mind, give me a break!’), and now he thinks that Garm and Maya are married with three kids, one of whom is the Avatar.

They make their way to Ba Sing Se, with the help of the White Lotus. Wu isn’t the leader of them (he isn’t super old in this au, imagine what he looked like in S9, with the mustache), but he is a fairly respected member. I still haven’t come up with a Jet character who would work, and I am open to suggestions. If I do find a good character, they will definitely throw hands with Morro (mb Shade? Just cut out the romance subplot in S1 and pick a couple of EM’s to be the other freedom fighters?). And yes, Wu does get his tea shop in the upper ring (Steep Wisdom), and Morro tries to be happy and supportive, but even though he is fine leaving the Fire Nation with Wu, it does still feel like he wasted years of his life, both in chasing the Avatar and just trying to prove himself to everyone back in the Palace, so he’s pretty grumpy.

Now back to Team Avatar: at Maya and Garms insistence the kids have been picking out their little mini-vacations. They know that they only have a limited amount of time before the comet arrives, but Garm and Maya want these kids to be able to be, y’know, kids, at least a little bit, in spite of the fact that they’re growing up in a war-torn world. Kai want’s to check out that glacier-spring place by the desert, it’s kinda underwhelming, but they get fruity drinks out of it. This whole time Kai and Cole have been getting closer to each other. Kai feels a little guilty, like he’s betraying Zane’s memory, but talking to Maya and Garm about it does help him start to feel better, and it helps his over-protectiveness start to abate a little.

Jay wants to pick a really cool mini-vacation to impress Nya, and he asks the people who are in the glacier place if there’s any place around those parts, and ends up learning that about a year ago some lady showed up saying something about a huge spirit library in the desert that she was looking for. They never saw her again after that, and figure that she must have died out in the desert. When pressed (and payed) one of the artistically inclined staff members roughly recreated the sketch of the library, and vaguely remembered the area on the map she said she was going to search, and with that Jay has his mini-vacation picked out.

They set off and find the library. Cole chooses to stay outside with Ultra (who can’t fit inside) bc he thinks they’ll be safer if the only earthbender stays outside incase something goes wrong, and if they need to get out of there fast he’d only slow them down with his legs. Everybody else heads into the library and meet Wan Chi Tong (did I spell that right? I’m too lazy to check), who agrees to let them use the library if they 1) don’t intend to use the contents of the library against anyone else and 2) contribute something to his library.

Lloyd and Nya both use their wanted posters (they both thought they were awesome [Lloyd bc he’s 13 and Nya bc you can’t convince me that Nya wouldn’t be thrilled to have a wanted poster bc she’s been fucking with a tyrannical regime] and incredibly accurate considering the art had to have been done by someone using other people’s descriptions, and they totally intend on framing and hanging at least a few of their posters up in their rooms when all this is over), Kai has a copy of a poem that Zane wrote for him, Garm has his brothers letter (he doesn’t want to give it up, but he has nothing else), Jay has a blueprint from one of his inventions, and Maya has a copy of a story in a series that Koko had brought back to the South Pole over the years. Wan Chi Tong comments that about a year ago a researcher had arrived and had offered him another part of the the same series. He mentions that they should be careful, as she never left, and has been primarily researching the Avatar.

Everyone has an idea of who this mysterious researcher could be (except Jay), but they decide to be cautious all the same, just incase she isn’t who they think she is. They all start discreetly searching for anything that could be used to help them fight the Fire Nation, and they end up finding and empty placard saying something about ‘the Darkest Day in Fire Nation History’, but when they go to check part of the section on Fire Nation (that library was enormous, y’all cannot tell me that Zhao was able to destroy absolutely everything that the library had on the Fire Nation. It could only have been the last few decades/mb centuries of Fire Nation history), as well as a campsite that was full of scrolls having to do with the Avatar and different bending techniques (and a few misc scrolls about random things like cooking, engineering, etc). As they’re poking around the campsite, who else comes around the corner but Koko!

She has her nose buried in a scroll as she’s walking, so she doesn’t notice them all until Lloyd happily calls out ‘Mom!’, and goes in for a hug. Koko drops the scroll and has a happy reunion with her son and husband, as well as with Maya, Kai, and Nya, and she and Jay are introduced to each other. Koko explains that she’s been able to stay in the library so long was bc she managed to get the fox assistants to like her enough to start bringing her food and water. She also explains that she’s been doing nonstop research into the Avatar State, the Air Nomads and airbending, and the Fire Nation (though she’s really quiet about that part so they don’t catch Wan Chi Tongs attention and ire) and shows them that planetarium thing and that she discovered the eclipse. (How did she make it out to the library without a flying companion or something? SHe’s just that much of a badass.)

Koko had been saving up supplies and charting a course out of the desert, and planning to leave the library as soon as she could, but now that they’ve showed up with Ultra she can just grab her things and go. Someone, probably Jay, gets a little too vocal about how they have a chance to beat the Fire Nation, and cue Wan Chi Tong sinking the library and trying to add them to his ‘collection of specimen’. Garm and Koko are a dynamic duo, with Garm distraction the angry spirit while Koko gathers all of her scrolls and supplies together while Maya gets the kids to the exit.

Meanwhile, Cole is holding up the library, and trying to help Ultra fend off the sandbenders that showed up to capture and sell the dragon. Cole is able to put up a bit more of a fight than Toph was (meaning that he was able to get one or two good hits in) bc being in the desert doesn’t impair his vision (the sand does tank his mobility just as much as it would anyone with prosthetic legs tho), but he isn’t able to stop them or even hold them off long enough for everyone else to get out. Cole, despite being initially afraid of the large dragon, had quickly grown to be one of Ultras favorite people in their group (like, third favorite. Kai will never admit that he’s jealous), and is pretty upset that he wasn’t able to save him. More on Ultra later.

So Lloyd is really upset about losing his companion, just as much as Aang was. He doesn’t act out (for lack of a better word) as intensely as Aang, since Ultra wasn’t the last thing he had left of his people like Appa was for Aang, but Lloyd is still rightfully pissed off. He takes off shakily on his glider, leaving everyone behind before trying to search for Ultra and the sandbenders, ignoring his families protests. Koko starts working on getting them out of the desert using the route she had plotted out (using the sun and shadows to orient them and get started in the right direction), and starts planing out how long her food and water (she had the good sense to bring those from the library) will last between all of them. The answer is: not long enough.

Kai (and mb Jay too) is the one who has the bright idea to drink the cactus juice, bc while Kai, like Sokka, (and Jay tbh) is smart enough to know that drinking a strange liquid out of an unfamiliar plant is a bad idea,but the fact that it is a stupid idea doesn’t stop him. Wait, y’know what? Jay definitely tries the cactus juice, but instead of acting as out-of-it and inebriated as Kai does, he acts like he does in S9, weirdly chill and disconnected from reality. He’s still tripping balls, but he’s reacting to it differently from Kai. Cole just ends up carrying Kai piggy-back, even though the sand makes it harder for him to move (he’s crushing, and he’s the only one [adults included] whose physically strong enough to carry him for long periods of time) (also Kai awkwardly and drunkenly flirts with him. Everyone pretends not to notice for Coles sake) and everyone else takes turns holding onto Jays wrist and leading him through the desert or else he would have wandered off and died.

Lloyd gets back to them, landing hard in the sand, holding back tears bc even though he’s upset and could use a good cry he knows that they need to conserve as much water as they can. He’s got his family there to comfort him (even if Kai and Jay are kinda incapacitated atm), which does help him a bit, but he’s still rightfully upset. They find the abandoned sandbender skipper thing, find the vulturewasp hive, and come across the sandbenders. Cole is able to pinpoint the sandbender (no idea who this guy would be, Ninjago character wise) who lead the others to take Ultra via his voice bc Cole a) was trained in a myriad of performing arts thanks to his father, primarily singing b) has perfect pitch and c) never forgets a voice bc of that.

Lloyd goes full Avatar State, but is comforted and calmed down by his parents while everyone else books it. The sandbenders tell them that they sold Ultra to some guys who were going to take him to Ba Sing Se, and then they take them out of the desert (with the sandbenders getting the Death Glare from all of Team Avatar the whole way. Koko totally punches the sandbender who lead the others to steal Ultra once they’re out of the desert.)

They make their way to Ba Sing Se on foot, with Lloyd trying to get a handle on his emotions (and worrying everyone in the process), and they run into a family with an expecting mother/wife (I am also taking suggestions for who these characters could be. I’m pretty tired while typing this so I can’t think of anyone) and try and get on a ferry to Ba Sing Se. Cole, whose father is well known and wealthy, uses that fact, his double amputee status (he ‘accidentally’ slips out of one of his prosthetics. Kai catches him before he hits the ground), and his acting skills to get them tickets without passports.

And we get best girl Pixal back! She helps Team Avatar help the pregnant family go through the Serpents Pass, and it goes pretty similar to cannon, except instead of a situation where Sokka is overprotective of Suki, Jay picks up on how much Pixal likes Nya, and sees that Nya, his crush, reciprocates those feelings, and gets a bit passive-aggressive w/everyone, but Pixal especially. It doesn’t last long, bc Jay is a hormonal teenager who realizes he’s being a dick fairly quickly, but it does help fizzle his crush on Nya a bit (sorry again to any hardcore Jaya shippers who were hoping for that in this au, but it’s really not my cup of tea).

They also help deliver the couples baby, but Maya and Koko are the ones helping take care of that. Team Avatar get to the outer wall, just to see a huge Fire Nation drill heading closer and closer to the wall, ready to start tearing through it...

#ninjago #ninjago au #ninjago avatar au

[dear-yandere]

lots of ilya q&a below - part 1

tw ... mentions of noncon and murder.

[ part 2 ] 

question:  so Ilya wouldn’t like a cop out of principle but what it,, Ilya had a darling but a (yandere?) cop investigating his case,, ALSO likes ilyas darling.. (obviously this would only be fun if the cop is rly competent and an actual threat)

answer: ilya believes that because he’s suffered, he should have a “free pass” to inflict suffering onto others, so of course he isn’t fond of having someone on his tail that constantly gets in the way of his fun. still, anything that staves off boredom is a plus in his book.

whether the cop is yandere or not, ilya isn’t fond of sharing his darling with the likes of an officer. simply put, this rival poses a threat to taking darling away (basically being a cockblock). ilya’d be sure to use the cop’s feelings to mock him, such as mentioning how wonderful darling is in bed, what a wonderful shade their skin turns when he chokes them to near-death, or – worst of all –  how popular darling’s pictures / videos have become on the dark web.

in reality, ilya has the upper hand in this situation. he’s avoided the cops for so long, what’s another one? then again, this devil-may-care mentality will surely be his downfall if the cop is competent enough to catch him.

question: Also sorry for spamming u I’m just in a mood rn- If Ilya likes hurting adults but wants to protect kids, how does he feel abt teenagers? Cause i feel like if I was an adult I’d see teenagers as kids so like are teenagers more like kids or more like adults to him? Also I thought it was rly funny that ppl seemed 2 prefer being ilyas partner in crime over being his darling but like if I had to interact w him I’d want him to protect child me lol cause I just want someone to watch out 4 me,,

answer: considering the amount of distasteful and illegal things he comes across involving minors on the dark web, anyone under the age of consent (or that looks too much like a child) is a kid in his eyes. even if he met an adult that looked young enough to be underaged, he’d feel uncomfortable with assaulting / killing them even after learning their age.

and i agree! ilya would’ve actually made a wonderful kindergarten or elementary teacher had his life played out differently. i was a bit shocked people preferred being his partner in crime, but it makes sense since they’d be prolonging their lifespan should they have the misfortune of meeting this man.

question 1: Can I ask how Ilya would react to a darling who cant die? Or dies but comes back to life each time? I’m torn between thinking he’d be frustrated because his ultimate show of love won’t stick or ecstatic that he has someone he can kill over and over again

question 2: I wonder how Ilya would react to a darling he COULDNT kill, maybe because they were immortal or simply always managed to stay just out of his reach. Perhaps they even returned a bit of his feelings but never as much as he wanted, never enough to die for it. - jinxdere

ilya would probably go through the stages of “grief”.

he’d be angry and distraught at first, adamant about maintaining his denial toward the situation. he’s never encountered a darling who couldn’t die; the moment he slit their throat, he expected them to never come back, to never question his love in such a way as to live. 

during the bargaining stage, he’d distance himself for a while, at least until he comes to terms with it and decide what to do.

during the depression stage. rather than be ecstatic that he can kill his darling over and over again, he’d feel an equal amount of anger as he does love. above all else, ilya wants to have fun, to cope with his problems by hurting as many people as possible. to him, killing others is his way of spreading his twisted version of love; he wants to kill as many people as he possibly can because he wants to love everyone. really though, this is an excuse to make as many people suffer as he possibly can. because he was wronged in his life, he wants to drag others down to his level. therefore, he’d rationalize his options and eventually decide to begrudgingly accept his darling’s immortality.

during the acceptance stage, he’d be willfully ignorant. he’d abandon this darling, sending them far away and telling them to never seek him out again; and if they do (especially if they fell in love with him), he will make every death more painful than the last. he wants nothing to do with them simply because they represent something he can’t overcome in life; ilya is fascinated by the marriage between death and love, and this particular darling is challenging his entire world view. he’d rather remain ignorant.

so basically, while he isn’t fond of having more than one darling at a time, he’d shun this immortal darling and no longer think of them as his. this seems counterintuitive, but a big part of ilya’s character is his hypocrisy and ignorance. they define who he is and act as a reminder of his past and innate psychopathic tendencies.

question: if u say Ilya has always had psychopathic tendencies, would he still be where he is rn if he had a good childhood? And I wonder like.. apathetic ppl/characters are often into morbid stuff and don’t care about hurting others but when u strip that down isn’t that just following your desires? Like are people like that obligated to be into violent stuff? Cause if Ilya just really liked collecting fish there’d be no issue.. I kinda think it’s a way to lash out at the world without letting it get 2 u

answer: i hope i understood this question correctly.

i can’t speak for actual psychopaths or serial killers obviously, but ilya is willfully ignorant and hypocritical. it’s his way of ‘lashing out without letting it get to him’ – his way of coping, basically. if he had a good childhood, it’s certainly possible he wouldn’t have treaded this path. however, childhood is only one factor that can push psychopaths over the edge. people who are apathetic or into morbid stuff aren’t obligated to be into violent things, especially as there can be some other mental issue at play; take narcissistic personality disorder for example. i personally know someone who likely has this disorder, but they are not into morbid / violent stuff even though they may lash out violently or disregard hurting others at times. i agree that your evaluation is probably correct in this situation too: lashing out is a way to cope.

now, if ilya’s parents had been more attentive, they would’ve noticed their son’s unsettling tendencies. killing animals is a big indicator of something greater at play and i’m sure they would’ve taken him for a psychological screening. i’m no doctor or psychiatrist (i’m not even in the medical field), but i imagine that with early detection and proper therapy, ilya might’ve been a normal person. would he still be into morbid things and have all the extreme kinks he currently does? yeah probably, but to a much lesser extent.

question: okay so u said Ilya knows he’s fucked up which is why he can’t have a kid BC he wouldn’t want them involved in that life so like.. if he knows he’s fucked up but still enjoys doing what he does, does he justify it to himself? Does he just not think about it? Like I often see evil characters be like “the world hurt me so I’m allowed to hurt others” - is it like that? Cause u said he’s a hypocrite and that’s quite hypocritical imo (if u know how bad it can be why make others suffer too yk?)

answer: part of it is that ilya is naturally sadistic and psychopathic, he doesn’t care if others suffer. even if he hadn’t become a serial rapist and killer, he would’ve had a clear disregard for others. he does justify himself and ignores his obvious hypocrisy. he realizes how much of a hypocrite he is, so it’s not that he’s an idiot or blind; it’s more of that he doesn’t give a damn about how selfish or contradictory he’s being.

you’re right that he thinks that he’s allowed to hurt others because the world hurt him, but it’s a bit beyond that. so for your question ‘why hurt others if you know how bad it can be’ – he gets off on it. even if he wasn’t the one committing crimes, he’d still get off on it. he’s similar to an incel that just stays in his room, complains about how the world is unfair, and watches porn all day, except more attractive, less whiny, actually gets sex bc he’s charming and doesn’t show his misanthropic side, and is into way darker porn than most incels probably are.

question: How would Eu-jin handle Illya taking an interest in his darling? I feel like things would get ugly fast.

answer: luckily, ilya doesn’t exist in the same universe as eu-jin or any of my other ocs! he’s human, so he’d get ripped to shreds pretty fast, especially by the overly-obsessive and protective supernatural (gumiho) eu-jin who hasn’t seen his darling in literal millennia. 

yuu wouldn’t even bother cannibalizing ilya, as he usually does with his prey; he’d find the Ripper far too disgusting to put in his own body, but he would torture ilya as painfully and slowly as possible. ripping off his fingernails one by one, removing his tongue so he can’t scream (much like the way ilya chokes his darlings), etc.

...so yeah, as soon as the hyper-aware eu-jin realizes that ilya is looking at the former’s darling with interest, it’d get ugly real fast.

question: What if when Ilya tried to kill one of his darlings but they manage to fight back and escape? I just see that throwing him for a real curve ball so I was curious to how he'd react.

answer: he’d be furious at first. to him, running away is the ultimate act of denying his love -- but, he’s a man that appreciates some fun every now and then. while he isn’t fond of darlings that fight back (especially when he’s about to kill them), having a darling who spices his life up every now and then is exhilarating. he’ll decide to play along with this darling’s little game of cat and mouse, and to be honest, he finds the increased risk of getting caught by authorities (should the darling get that far) fun. as i’ve mentioned before, ilya knows how much of a hypocrite he is and has long come to terms with his inevitable karma and death, he just doesn’t care enough to change his habits.

#oc questions #questions #*ocs #ilya #vanya #not a request

[lukeskywalkrearchive]

1, 4, 14, 16, 19, 24 !!

YAY THANK YOU for sending these!!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) - what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

the project i SHOULD be working on is my novel (though i haven’t been doing a whole lot of writing in it lately; most of my writing has been in other random fun things no one will see), which is a futuristic(ish) sci-fi romp about a cyborg who doesn’t know she’s a cyborg (kestrel), a human who gets drawn into helping her (rowan), and a powerful person (ARE they a person??) who manages to start a robot apocalypse. 

there’s way more to it than that, of course - for instance, my cyborg was created as a military weapon to fight militarized robots, but she doesn’t know that at the point the story starts - but i recently did an overhaul of my first draft because it really didn’t feel like the right direction to take even the beginning of the story.

i love the characters the most, which is a pretty common theme for me. characters are always what drive my story. i especially love rowan and kestrel’s relationship. they develop this very specific bond, the kind of found-family, tight-knit closeness and trust that only comes from surviving something terrible together and only being able to rely on each other. they are soulmates in a very particular kind of way, and it takes them a while to realize that. i’m really excited to write it all out

(the rest of the answers under the cut, bc lawd knows i’m gonna type too much)

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

i have 2 sentences:

Cassiel is his only stopping point, the only arrest to his momentum, draped in pearl and watching him with a gaze the only shade of blue he ever seems to drown in. 

He keeps watching them even as he’s kicked into the hole, no longer an angel, not really anything else, and thinks about wax wings and burning as he free-falls out of the only place he’s ever known, unable to muster up any feelings aside from Good riddance.

the lines came from a series of oneshots about one of my characters that i wrote as a challenge to myself. each one is focused on a color (this one is white) because i usually write in a very grounded way, not particularly poetic or flower but rather more about actions, and these were meant to be written in that flowery way. i like these lines in particular because i feel like they encapsulate a really nice, specific combination of description and emotion and i’m proud of how they come across.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

it really depends on the story. sometimes i will write the whole thing without coming up with something. i have a lot of placeholder titles using song lyrics or parts of a poem (a habit i formed from reading fanfiction titles, lol) that i then make a title from, and sometimes i just throw words at it and see what sticks. i have a story called “reasons why handcuffs are not ricky’s kink” because it starts off with ricky getting handcuffed to someone at a party, but it’s not really kinky at all, and it’s about their relationship rather than any smut or whatever, but i needed a title for my google doc. then there are other stories i figure out a title for really early on and i manage to stick to it. tl;dr it really depends on the story and how many ideas i have at the beginning, and if/how much the story changes along the way

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

honestly not really. the only really new thing i guess i could say i have is a kirkspock fic i barely started a handful of months ago? i always got really intimidated by writing spock bc i’ve read a LOT of ks fics and people are so incredibly talented and specific and i didn’t want to do it wrong. i haven’t made very much progress (i have 1 page so far) but i’d like to try! i have mostly only written stevebucky so i hope to finish it eventually.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

oh my god. always. i feel like when i write i forget 80% of my vocabulary. if i can read all the words and understand them, why do they never come to mind when i’m writing?? i’m definitely a culprit of the like, “the ghost/echo of a smile” on someone’s face a lot, probably also “a flush creeps up his neck,” and plenty more. i think there are descriptions i wind up recycling in most things i write. i usually know when i’m using whatever it is that i use it a lot but hopefully even though i repeat myself they’re far enough away to not be noticeable!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

1000%. i have definitely learned a lot from reading such a wide variety of people’s writing styles and finding choices i wanted to emulate or things i wanted to do better in my own writing. i am constantly learning and trying to improve, and though it’s hard to explain exactly how, i can definitely tell my writing is getting better. i improved my dialogue tenfold when i took a playwriting class, too, and really learned about how dialogue should feel natural. it helped me in how it felt to write dialogue alongside making the dialogue sound better.

ask me about writing!

#thank you thank you!!! #these took me a while too but i had a blast answering #i never get to talk about writing anymore and i miss it #vulcansmirk #b:answered

[jihyosforehead]

Hey, I really like your writing and was wondering if you could do a NaMo reverse fake dating au please. Thanks.

yas i gotchu anon omafdf thank uwuuuuu im always so emo when ppl tell me they like my writing thank uUUUU

namo would so be the type to be obnoxiously affectionate; calling each other next level annoying pet names. nayeon will come home and slam the front door open, arms spread over her head and is loudly like “where is my peanut butter blossom, sugar plum, honeysuckle dewdrop !”

and this is such a regular occurrence that everyone is completely unphased. jihyo not even looking up from her phone tells her, “she’s in the shower.”

and nayeons the eyeball emoji, “time to join the love of my life, my sunchip, my moonlight, my angel- ” and then nayeon yelps loudly when jeongyeon stands up with a pillow ready to launch it across the room, nayeon’s already darting away, giggling the whole time.

they’re like puppies, always crawling all over each other, constantly touching, holding hands, napping together, never outside of arms’ reach. that one movie night, sana and dahyun were concerned cos momo and nayeon were next to each other but aren’t touching.

(it’s too dark to see, but nayeon has hooked her pinky around momo’s tiny babie one cos it’s too hot to cuddle, honestly it’s too hot to even be linking pinkies but nayeon is w h i p p e d).

“what the hell are you doing in the kitchen? jihyo is going to kick your ass,” chaeyoung says, when she finds nayeon in there one morning trying to cook something. keyword: trying.

(the only reason why she’s not allowed in there is cos she burnt water. like one time. clearly she hasn’t lived it down yet).

“momo wanted some noodles but she cooked last time so im trying to be fair,” nayeon tells her seriously, frowning while holding up the empty ramen packet, “hey do you know if i should put an egg in this?” chaeyoung ends up taking over bc nayeon almost sets her shirt on fire twice :///

the pet names have slowly escalated to ones that momo had been using ironically (babes, dear, honey, sweetie). and it’s gotten to a point where they don’t even address each other by their actual names anymore. their members are used to it; tzuyu didn’t even bat an eyelash when momo asked, “where’s my darling?” with a straight face, sounding like some honest to god cowboy.

“hey momo, i want to introduce you to this person, i think you guys would make a good match,” jihyo says one day out of the blue, over dinner. momo looks at jihyo strangely, nayeon’s hand freezes midway to her mouth, chopsticks still holding a piece of cabbage.

momo tilts her head at jihyo but doesn’t say anything, and jihyo continues, “they own a restaurant and also have a background in dancing. you guys have lots in common already!”

“…but i’m already dating nayeon.”

at mention of her name, nayeon perks up eagerly, a dumb smile already on her face. jihyo and the rest of their members look at the two and laugh.

“yeah true, there’d be no time for them outside of nayeon anyways,” jeong points out playfully between giggles, “they’re married.”

“i’d like to think so,” nayeon says with a triumphant sniff, and eats her food. momo gives her an indulgent smile.

and that was that… or so namo thought.

mihyun are hanging out in the maknae room, and they come out to find namo just going at it in the living room. their jaws drop.

“what the hell!”

namo jump apart and have the grace to look abashed, “sorry, we forgot you guys were home,” momo mutters under her breath, nayeon is too busy hiding her face in momo’s neck, the tips of her ears are bright red.

mina is looking between them confused, and dahyun has gone a worrying shade of pale, “you guys are dating?”mina manages to get out.

namo exchange baffled expressions and then slowly, “…yes?”

mihyun go back to the maknae room without getting the things they were supposed to get because they got distracted. by the namo.

3mix had a different event to go to that day and were getting ready to leave, or, at least 2/3 of them were trying to leave. jihyo was trying her best to chase nayeon out of the house but nayeon was stubbornly insistent on waiting for momo to come home, and had latched herself to the countertop like a whole child.

momo eventually comes rushing through the door, school meal club on her heels and 2na not far behind.

nayeon squeals happily (as if they don’t see each other everyday lmao) throws her arms around momo’s neck and is like, “angel cakes!” and then plants the biggest smooch on momo’s lips, momo’s pleasantly surprised at the enthusiastic welcome, and happily kisses back.

their members are just kind of watching in shock, jeonghyo’s mouths opening and closing like fish.

“we are gonna talk about this later,” jihyo sighs at namo exasperatedly, she’s not sure where to begin, but when her brain reboots itself, she says, “we’re going to be late. come on, lets go lets goooo!” she pulls 2yeon out by their sleeves, nayeon’s trying in vain to hang onto momo and pressing more kisses wherever she can reach. but eventually they finally leave.

sachaetzu turn to momo and are like, “the heck dude??? ??/?”

and momo’s super nonchalant, “we’ve been dating for ages, idk how you haven’t noticed.”

“you idiots are always cuddling!” (tzuyu, whining cutely) “…omg no wonder nayeonnie wouldn’t let me kiss her,” (sana, despondent) “i just thought this was just how you guys acted around each other!!” (chaeyoung, shookt); mihyun on the side torn between laughing and also still not over namo being a thing™

“we were really obvious though?” momo says, still confused.

“is it being obvious if you’ve always been this way even as trainees?” dahyun says pointedly. momo frowns.

meanwhile, 3mix:

“i can’t believe you guys kept this from us,” jihyo mutters under her breath, sounding hurt, jeongyeon nodding in agreement beside her.

nayeon’s looking at them helplessly, and then says, “what do u mean?? we haven’t really been subtle though??”

theres a weird awkwardness between the three of them the whole shoot and it’s throwing nayeon off her game bc nine years of friendship shouldn’t be so heavy, and then jihyo looks at nayeon kind of seriously, “i can’t believe you guys call each other sugar plum unironically.”

and just like that, the awkwardness is broken, jeongyeon is unable to contain her loud laugh. nayeon manages to look relieved and annoyed and happy at the same time lmao.

dinner that night is mostly a lot of ribbing from their members; most of it disbelief at their pet names.

#namo #nayeon #momo #twice #twice hc #twice headcannons #twice scenarios #twice imagines #ask #anon #thank u for the ask lov u<333333

[morinover]

Tagged by @trensu

Rules: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you wanna know better

1. Name: You know that joke, “Nice name, did your mom pick it for you?” My given name was actually the only one chosen by my mom. I do like my nickname/chosen name better, though. Now I can be like “Thanks, I picked it myself!” It’s a very unusual name, spelled the very usual way, and I like it that way. I still have to spell it out sometimes(???)

The Hebrew version of it means “My friend”, which I like a lot. (Shoutout to Public Universal Friend)

2. Nickname: Technically my chosen name is my nickname on official forms. “Morin”  has been my online nickname for 20 odd years, with all sorts of variations. It was the last name of an author of some paper I found interesting and I just chose it when I had to pick one. I never thought it would stick around for so long.

3. Zodiac sign: Hufflepuff. Kidding, it’s Taurus. I don’t believe in it, but my BFF likes it. I still think Hogwarts house/HDM Dæmon etc tell you more about a person.

4. Height: 163 cm

5. Languages: Fluent: Hebrew, English; almost conversational, or used to be but aren’t anymore: Romanian, Spanish; Used to have basic vocabulary but lost even that: German, French, Latin.

6. Nationality: In the process of changing

7. Favourite season: Winter, mostly bc I’m always hot. Also, no bugs. Snow is still a novelty. 4 distinct seasons are still a novelty - I moved from the California-style climate of wet season/dry season to a place with 4 actual seasons. So I guess I love all of them except summer bc too hot. Summer rains are nice though.

8. Favourite flower: Wildflowers, growing wherever they please. Not indoors.

9. Favourite scent: Until recently I was anosmic - that changed with hormones - so I’m still figuring it out. I love the smell of my spouse, I like the smell of frankincense, I like the smells of various flowers and foods.

10. Favourite colour:  Cyans: turquoise, aquamarine, teal, etc. Not sure if I have a favorite shade.

11. Favourite animals: I love cats but I’m allergic; Love dogs. Mostly love the others from afar - I’m not educated enough for in person interactions, and I live in a city.

12. Favourite fictional character: Depends on time of day 😂

13. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Tea, preferably English Breakfast, black or white but not green. Camomile infusion also acceptable.

14. Average hours of sleep: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I think I manage to keep 8 a night usually

15. Dog or cat: Either one as long as they’re chill and I’m not allergic.

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: usually one; when very hot, just a sheet; when cold, sometimes a throw over the blanket

17. Dream trip: My parents are really into travel and dragged me all around the globe to see both natural and human-made wonders. I like the city, I like exploring neighborhoods I haven’t been to and coming back home. The only reason I travel now is to see friends/family.

18. Blog established: 2014. I started @paramorin as a fan blog and then started befriending tumblrites, and needed a non-fandom blog to post other stuff. My actual main blog is technically my side blog.

19. Followers: about 300 for @paramorin, about 200 for @morinover.

20. Random fact: I’m usually reading 3 books at a time: one in bed before falling asleep; one for subway/bus rides, waiting etc; and one in the living room. Books get chosen based on how engrossing they are, how likely they are to make me cry etc. (like my father before me, I cry because of songs on the radio and other minor provocations; it’s not sobbing, just a few tears sliding out. I assure you it’s very manly. Healthy masculinity or something)

Tagging whoever wants to, no one has to.

Would be cool if these people will do it, but no pressure: @stillnotanonymous, @impishtubist, @aturinfortheworse, @theragnarokd, @badwolf109, @tehanulilac, @iofthebunny, @bricrocodile, @mama-bop, @verasteine, @amit-rider, @zelenybish, @angelchrys, @not-a-lizard, @princefuckyouknickers

#about me #sure why not

[moonythejedi394]

For your amazing stories on ao3, how would Steve react to having a stalker? How would Bucky react to Steve having one?

coh god a stalker!!! it would be so awful but i’m not the friendly neighborhood angst queen for nothing. this got long. omg it got long.

how about in the these days ‘verse? steve continues working at the hug room at the VA after booger is born and him and bucky get together/married/bonded, and there, one of the vets gets too attached to him. now, let’s be clear, mental health is wrongfully correlated with violence way too often, and it’s more than cliche to say that a vet with PTSD is disposed to violence, it’s ableism

hug room is part of the VA center, but it is not exclusive to the VA, it’s a therapy service. so steve has patients from several places, it isn’t his business where they come from. his job is to reacquaint them with gentle touch and that’s all he does.

so one of his more difficult patients becomes too attached. displacement, that’s the psychological term for it. we’ll go ahead and say it’s a guy and an alpha, bc statistically, that is more likely. and his name is uhhhhhhhhhhhhh frank. maybe over a slow period, steve does help him become more comfortable with physical touch, but almost at the same time, frank develops an obsession with him. tries to book more sessions than have been prescribed per week, shows up at random times and asks if he’s free, things like that. it  escalates slowly, but it’s first caught by steve’s boss, who politely and kindly turns frank away one morning and tells him that he’s no longer going to be seeing steve. frank actually throws a fit then and there and he’s escorted out.

steve tells bucky about it after. bucky says that if frank shows up again, call him and he’ll see him out. steve tells him not to be so dramatic.

but it does get worse. frank follows steve home one day, though he’s stuck outside the apartment building. steve doesn’t notice, unfortunately. frank begins watching him daily, yannow, the whole stalker deal.

one night, frank somehow gets steve’s phone number. don’t ask us how, one otherwise ordinary tuesday night, steve’s encouraging jamesy to color outside the lines while bucky attempts to cook something new and interesting i’m sure, and steve’s phone rings. unknown number. not actually the dreaded Unknown Number, it was just a number steve didn’t recognize. steve passes jamesy to bucky, answers the call, he says, “hello?”

“hello.” “who is this?” *long silence.* “hello?” steve repeats? *heavy breathing* steve gets disturbed. “I’m going to hang up now,” he says. “wait!” frank shouts, actually shouts, “baby,” he says, “don’t go!”

steve, highly disturbed, he drops the phone from his ear and hangs up right away. “what’s the matter?” bucky asks. steve wanders over to him, bucky tosses an arm around his side, and steve promptly blocks the number. “weird phone call,” steve just says. bucky hugs him closer. “well, don’t answer it again.”

but it doesn’t stop. frank doesn’t call again that night, but he does the next night. steve blocks every single number, but frank keeps managing to find different unblocked ones, and after a month of his calling, steve changes his phone number. that stops it, but only briefly. bucky wants to go to the police about it, but steve says they shouldn’t, since it’s only phone calls.

and then one afternoon while steve’s taken jamesy to the park, frank gets too close. jamesy’s playing in the sandbox and steve is sitting nearby probably drawing. frank comes up behind him all quiet-like and steve, absorbed in drawing and watching jamesy, he doesn’t notice. frank slyly takes the seat on the bench next to steve and starts inching closer. steve notices when he’s just breached the distance of polite-personal-space. 

“hi,” frank says. steve jumps up from his seat, grabs his stuff and starts to run to grab jamesy. “wait, no!” frank jumps up, too, grabbing steve’s arm, “i only wanted to see you again, you’ve been avoiding me!” “this is inappropriate,” steve argues, “inappropriate and it makes me uncomfortable, please leave me alone.” “you keep dodging my calls!” frank claims.

Steve jerks his arm away from frank, leaving his notebook behind, he grabs jamesy and books it. frank picks up the forgotten notebook and claims it as a treasure.

when they get home and steve tells bucky what happened, bucky doesn’t even wait to ask steve if he should, he just calls the police. an officer comes by and steve reluctantly gives a statement, shows the records of all the calls, admits that the hug room had to ban frank bc he’d started harrassing steve. the cop takes it all down, says they’ll make a note of it, and then just leaves. that’s all they can do for the time-being. frank hasn’t done enough to warrant a restraining order or anything. they do send an officer to tell frank to leave steve alone, but that’s all they can do.

bucky does not like that. he wants to go hunt frank down himself and show him a thing or two about stark prosthetics up close (after tony succeeded with bucky’s arm, he did go on to exceed his father in affluence and wealth while all the while giving top-of-the-line prosthetics to people like bucky for pennies). but anyway, bucky definitely wants to show frank the point with his fist, but steve, you know, he only believes the fight is worth having if it’s for someone else. 

but for the time being, frank does vanish. steve says “see, it’s fine!” and bucky says “he’s luring us into a false sense of security” and steve looks at him flatly with his eyebrows raised and blinks once and bucky splutters about cautiousness for a bit while steve just looks at him until he just slows until he stops. “okay, we’ll leave him alone,” bucky agrees reluctantly. “for now!”

and for the moment, frank does seem to move on. the phone calls stop, steve doesn’t see him again, jamesy of course has no idea what’s going on, he’s 2. he does know about banana peanut butter sandwiches and the most thinking he does is whether or not he wants chunky or smooth peanut butter.

a few months go by, steve and bucky think it’s blown over. and then one night, bucky’s out with the guys or he’s working late, and it’s just steve and jamesy at home. steve’s just put jamesy to bed and he took a shower and he’s probably like thinking that he’s going to get himself prettied up and he’s going to be ready in bed already prepped when bucky gets home, so he’s wearing a towel and he’s a lil bit drippy, and he notices that the shades are open so he goes to shut it and then he fucking screams and runs out because frank is sitting on the fire escape outside looking in.

bucky books it home and gets there before the cops. steve has at some point gotten into bucky’s bathrobe probably. the baby’s woken up, he’s hungry and grumpy, bucky’s out of his mind terrified, like, what if the window had been unlocked or he’d broken it, oh my god! and steve is just silently hugging jamesy and bucky bc he’s kinda in shock. cops do come and they look around, but they don’t find any trace of frank. the cops can’t pin anything on frank, but they say they’ll talk to him again and one of them advises steve and bucky to get a civil restraining order filed, bc in that case, if frank does show up again, then they’ll have something to charge him with.

bucky right away starts the process to get the restraining order. steve lets him do it bc he’s still kinda in shock. i mean, you go into your bedroom wearing a towel and there’s a dude with his eyeballs pressed to the glass, it’s a shocking thing! it takes several weeks, but they get it filed and in the meantime, bucky and steve put extra locks on the windows and the front door. around the same time, the phone calls start up again and they have to change steve’s number a third time. frank even calls bucky once, unfortunately for him, bc bucky stays on the line long enough to scream at him, and this time, frank’s the one that hangs up.

once the restraining order is filed, frank’s stalking does stop. for a while. a few months of blessed peace, and then bucky wakes up one night to the sound of the window rattling. steve does not wake up, bc he doesn’t sleep with his hearing aids in. bucky wakes up, gets up, suspicious, and actually grabs his sidearm. he creeps up to the window and pops the blinds apart. frank is on the other side trying to jimmy it open. immediately, frank starts to book it, bucky throws the window open and jumps out on the fire escape, yelling and screaming, people all across the building switch their lights on, and frank stops halfway down the fire escape to yell back at bucky, “you can’t stop me, i love him more than you.” bucky promptly fires a warning shot into the air, which does wake steve up, and frank books it again.

the police come. bucky did fire his gun, but it was into the air, nobody got hurt. this time, frank committed a criminal offense and the cops get to arrest him. he’s charged with criminal contempt of the first degree in violating the protection order filed by james b. rogers-barnes and steven rogers-barnes, and he’s given a fine and 2 years, 9 months in prison. frank briefly entertains the idea of suing bucky for firing the warning shot, but his lawyer advises him not to, bc he’d almost definitely lose and he’s lost enough. 

steve and bucky both feel much safer with him behind bars. they nearly forget about him until the sentence is close to ending, but when frank is released, his lawyer contacts their lawyer with a very stiff and formal apology notice and the promise to abide by the restraining order there on out. ofc, violating it a second time would earn him more prison time, and that’s probably why. it’s a sigh of relief. 

that got really long. i spent way longer on this than i should have. but! i hope you enjoyed this, ducky, and thank you so much for the ask! i did enjoy answering it and it’s definitely a really interesting scenario. god, now i’m wondering what would happen if slutty!steve had a stalker. tho, mafia-king!bucky would probs just shoot them at the earliest opportunity. which would make it a very short scenario. still, the kept boy ‘verse is partially murder kink. carry on, have a lovely day!

#ask #these days #kitten!steve #one-arm!bucky #that's an awful nickname for him but i couldn't think up anything better tbh #a/b/o #alpha/beta/omegaverse #alpha!bucky #omega!steve #mpreg #baby barnes #stalking #stalker #attempted break-in #angst with a happy ending #ficlet #my fics #thepheonixqueen

[zackcornfield]

The Ultimate Zagene Masterpost

as promised, i’ve gone through every official try guys video from the past few years to compile all the Zagene moments (this post also includes The Podcast™). i’ve provided dates and will link to gif sets/tumblr posts for specific moments (because i’m Extra As Fuck). i’ll try to keep this updated with new videos, so check back often (also, please let me know if i forget anything!) 

under the cut, because it’s looooong.

DISCLAIMER: i don’t mean to imply that i know anything about zach and eugene’s personal lives, or that most of these moments aren’t just things between two close friends. was literally just complying this list for a bit of fun, and because i was bored. pls don’t come for me, y’all 

another disclaimer: i’m australian, so some of the dates i use could be a bit off bc i’m something like 18 hours ahead of these two lol

also: i know initially that i said i would include instagram posts and other, non-buzzfeed videos on this list. unfortunately, i did not end up doing so. i’m maybe thinking about doing a part 2 where i include these things? no promises, this list took so much out of me as is

without further ado...

Nov. 13, 2014 - Guys Recreate Kim Kardashian’s Butt Photo

literally first video with these two together (?) and eugene’s already lowkey checking out zach (roughly 0:45-0:47). oh boy.

Nov. 19, 2014 - American Guys Try European Swimwear

zagene riding in the backseat together

“your dick might be huge” - eugene to zach (2:58), followed by eugene staring at zach until he makes a joke. um. ok.

zach checking up on hungover eugene (3:11)

December 30, 2014 - The Try Guys Test The Legal Alcohol Limit

eugene instantly goes to break up the fight between ned and zach (4:41)

during the little bits where they’re testing how drunk they are these two will not stay away from each other… at 4:56 eugene walks from one side of zach to the other to get in between him and everyone else lmao

5:38 eugene reaches out to put his hand on zach’s back for no reason

6:37 (again at 6:54) zach has his arm around eugene, sorta leaning into him. no complaint from eugene “i hate hugs” yang

eugene’s little dance on zach at 7:00

January 18, 2015 - The Try Guys Shoot Guns For The First Time

the boys sittin together at lunch, bein judgey (0:27)

(1:10) whenever i see this, i always think of this post, so it’s making the list

January 25, 2015 - The Try Guys Try ’Fifty Shades’ Style BDSM

the boys beside each other again, this time holding hands! (5:46)

February 23, 2015 - The Try Guys Taste Test Jerky

zach’s lowkey super fond looks at eugene from the backseat throughout the video

March 6, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Magic Mike Stripping

2:15 eugene is sitting on the floor facing zach, rather than keith who he’s actually talking to

“i’ve given lap dances drunk” eugene i’m not even remotely surprised (3:15)

March 11, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Makeup Tutorials

“eugene your hair’s blocking me. eu-eugene? eugene, your hair” (2:27)

April 1, 2015 - The Try Guys’ Naked Sushi Prank

zach stopping to wait for eugene (0:24)

1:05 - ok… love this little bit. eugene smiling, the high five, eugene hitting zach’s glasses off his face, zach’s little giggle. presh.

April 10, 2015 - The Try Guys Try UFC Fighting 

0:00 - not even a second in and already into it. “we love you eugene”

(0:23) - eugene is fully straddling zach. and like… bouncing on him

(0:35) “i feel like zach might squeal like a little piggy and it really excites me”

(2:24) “can we all kick zach real quick” weird way of flirting but if it works for u bud

(3:40) little hard to see but eugene’s leaning on zach

when jessica’s throwing eugene around zach looks thrilled and worried in equal measure

“didn’t come here to fight eugene! he’s fucking crazy” (8:57)

“i landed some pretty solid punches on eugene’s beautiful, beautiful face” (9:12)

eugene like… lifting zach off the ground by his legs? (9:26)

eugene leaning down over zach’s face; keith: “now kiss him like you mean it!” (9:37)

May 6, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Pregnancy Bellies

(4:52) - group hug, but eugene’s got his arm around zach and like,, kinda leans into the back of his neck?

May 7, 2015 - The Try Guys Change Dirty Diapers 

just generally stood suuuper close together the whole video

May 17, 2015 - The Try Guys Try American Ninja Warrior 

“right zach?” (10:14)

10:33 - eugene reaches out to take the towel (offered to zach) to dry him

May 31, 2015 - The Try Guys Hit 90 MPH Fastballs

“goddammit eugene” followed by soft smile from eugene (3:22)

(5:40) eugene reaches out to pull zach’s robe back in place lmao

June 20, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Wedding Dresses

(0:51) “this is my day” - zach, while pointing to eugene, who nods, smiles, and his eyebrows look kinda raised too lol

(1:01) “eugene’s gonna look prettier than any of us”

(1:32) zach’s just like… casually stroking eugene’s legs

(2:27) could they BE pressed any closer together

(2:46) goin in for the smooch… iconic

June 26, 2015 - The Try Guys March In The Pride Parade

the boys at pride…. bless :’)

i have no real specific moments from this vid i just love it so much

June 29, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Not To Die Alone

(1:24) zach: “that’s some good ash.” eugene laughs at this like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard

(11:23) legendary hug/tackle…. the best, unbeatable, iconic,

July 12, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Irish Step Dance

(0:28) shoulder pat

also dance partners, holding hands, bless

(1:55) “i feel like my butt is tauter” zach turns and raises an eyebrow

(3:15) they go in for a group hug and eugene instantly goes for zach. when it’s clear he won’t reach zach, he pulls away from them all. interesting

August 1, 2015 - The Try Guys Watch Anime For The First Time

(1:17) zach compliments eugene’s hair

(3:06) zach: “yeah i guess we’re having a good time again.” eugene has the biggest smile on his face

(4:51) another compliment for eugene’s hair

(5:07) zach says something, then eugene repeats it enthusiastically and like.. kinda bites his lip?

(5:28) eugene leans over ned so he can talk to zach

these two are so in sync in such little ways like.. correcting ned’s pronunciation (6:03), leaning forward to laugh at ned’s joke (7:10), the hand gesture (7:14)

7:33 holding hands :))

August 3, 2015 - The Try Guys Cosplay For The First Time

8:41 - the boys dancing together

August 29, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Extreme Swimsuits

(4:57) eugene casually checking out zach (”i just saw zach’s penis” “yeah i accidently showed eugene my dick already” “i can still see your dick”)

zach’s eyes go straight (haha) to eugene’s butt when he walks away (5:11)

September 12, 2015 (from some time in August) - The Try Guys Imitate Each Other

“so, the one thing i know about zach is that- besides being adorable-” (0:47)

“i’ve been to many bars with him” (0:53)

“i have never been so attracted to eugene” (1:07)

ok but zach imitating eugene LMFAO

(3:30) zach crashing into eugene for a hug 

September 23, 2015 - The Try Guys Watch K-pop For The First Time

(2:16) eugene like… reading zach’s mind

September 25, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Korean Cooking

the boys cooking together

(0:36) “so eugene’s gonna be my mom” “i am not gonna be your mom” “so i got mom here to help me-” “i am not your mom” “so mom what’s the first step?” “i am not your mom!”

(1:10) eugene feeding zach (”thereee you go”)

(1:41) “you fucked me hard”

(1:47) “eugene’s a mean daddy”

(1:52) hand on the shoulder

(2:42) eugene just looks SO done

(3:04) “we’re a great team” :’)

(6:18) arm around the shoulder 

September 26, 2015 - The Try Guys Recreate Korean Drama Scenes

(2:04) iconic…. zach going in for a kiss. when will ur fave ever

September 27, 2015 - The Try Guys Try K-pop Dance Moves

(3:15) zach: *sniffs eugene* “still smells good”

(3:49) zach (lol and the others) wearing eugene’s clothes

(5:46) “let’s smell him again”

October 29, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Childhood-Ruining Costumes

(4:58) zach’s got his arms wrapped around eugene, trying to pull his costume off

November 1, 2015 - The Try Guys Get Prostate Exams

(2:46) “i’ve never had anything up my butt- well” ???????????

eugene looked like he enjoyed the exam way too much LMAO

December 13, 2015 - The Try Guys Try Therapy

the boys opening up to each other (just all of them in general) :’)

(6:17) as soon as eugene holds out his hands for the others to touch zach immediately reaches out, even before eugene was finished talking

(7:25) “now hug us!!”

eugene tries to wave off the hug until he sees zach’s arms then kinda reluctantly shuffles over

(7:28) ok zach is FULLY cuddling eugene at this point

December 19, 2015 - The Try Guys Break Into A House

(1:18) boyfs ridin off in style

Febuary 7, 2016 - Sexy Edible Lingerie Taste Test

(5:18) zach chose his nipple as the place for eugene to lick, despite presumably knowing it’d give him away bc of all the hair. go big or go home i guess

Febuary 28, 2016 - The Try Guys Play F***, Marry, Kill

(2:06) eugene noticeably reaches out to touch zach, pulls away, then moves his arm back over to grab zach’s arm

(2:17) eugene pats zach on the back

also… not zagene but……. eugene in glasses…………………

March 6, 2016 - The Try Guys Test Their Sperm Count

(5:47) eugene puts his hand on zach’s back again

March 16, 2016 - Which Type of Alcohol F*cks You Up The Most?

(3:28) “bye eugene” “where did he go?” “where does he ever go :(” why does zach sound so sad omg

these two actually weren’t super touchy in this vid which is weird when u look at the last vid where they all got drunk together

March 27, 2016 - Extreme Asian Food Challenge

(1:25) “do you wanna feed each other?” eugene gives a Look to the camera- “…sure”

(2:17) for the life of me can’t work out what eugene’s doing here. is he abt to put his arm around zach? put the phone in his pocket then quickly change his mind? touch his butt? we may never know

(5:19) zach’s “are u being for fuckin real” look still manages to be incredibly fond

(5:49) “keep your screaming to a minimum” “ yEaH eUgEne We’lL KeEp ouR ScrEamiNg to A miNimUm”

April 19, 2016 - The Try Guys Get Style Makeovers

(3:15) “first person who comes to your mind when you think of a well-dressed guy” “eugene” (same)

(8:29) eugene looks lost for words

(9:40) “it’s workin on me”

(12:22) “you look like a deleted scene from cowboy bebop” “that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me” “you’re welcome”

June 17, 2016 - The Try Guys Try Not To Die At Sea

(0:40) eugene helping zach into the water

(1:22) while eugene’s fixing his hair; “i think you look good”

(2:06) eugene holding zach while he pees over the side (one hand right on his butt). good job being supportive? 

August 5, 2016 - The Try Guys Try The Ancient Olympics

(2:43) zach’s rubbing oil into eugene’s butt, which totally isn’t suggestive at all

(3:34) pretty much leaning into each other again, this time while fully naked

(11:15) eugene comforting zach after he kicked him lol

zach has that same worried/thrilled look he has when eugene’s fighting ned that he had during the UFC fighting ep

also unrelated to zagene entirely but steven’s in the background during the wrestling?? omg

(13:54) back to zagene zach goes to help eugene off the ground when he has his ass handed to him

(15:50) eugene shoving zach when he’s being a little shit. i’m also like 90% certain he said “zachary!”

August 27, 2016 - The Try Guys Danish Food Taste Test

(0:19) ok not super zageney BUT i did use this moment in this post (#shamelessspon)

(1:48) “i think we should lady and the tramp this” “no” instant cut to them lady and the tramping the food

(2:47) “i like watching you eat! it’s like watching a little baby eat”

September 12, 2016 - The Try Guys React To Their First Videos

(3:21) zach and eugene sassing ned

(5:06) “look at that big boner i had” “that was NOT your boner” alrighty zach

(5:44) “i didn’t want to hurt you...”

(8:56) zach’s got his leg lying on eugene’s

(9:13) leaning into each other

(9:12) “promise you if we get to 200 videos we’ll fuck each other” can’t wait for The Try Guys Try Guys (i’m definitely not the first person to make this joke)

November 4, 2016 - The Try Guys Try Distracted Driving

(5:11) zach gently brushes hair off eugene’s forehead

(8:47) eugene and zach smiling at each other so softly i’m....

December 12, 2016 - The Try Guys Crash Cars Into Each Other

(1:35) zach’s giggle at “demolition derby is basically backing dat ass up”

(12:34) eugene gives zach the most adoring look

December 17, 2016 - The Try Guys Try The Weirdest Beauty Trends Of 2016

(4:57) eugene’s got his arm resting on zach’s shoulder

February 17, 2017 - The Try Guys Prank Each Other 

(2:05) “you pick the stupidest pranks zach” eugene sounded so giggly here aw

(5:05) eugene absolutely cracks up at zach’s “stupid prank”

(6:13) eugene cracking up at one of zach’s pranks again. genuinely love how happy he seems in this vid

(8:30) eugene leans right over zach to point at his screen and zach doesn’t even think twice about it. doesn’t flinch when eugene touches his face to steal his glasses either 🤔

(8:46) zach’s fond (yet exasperated) face and eugene’s kinda giddy laugh

(8:49) highkey looks like eugene was going for zach’s hand. he settles on his wrist

(8:53) zach’s hand goes to eugene’s to try and pull him away. and then cut to eugene halfway across the room??

(11:11) (make a wish) eugene and zach noticeably walking apart from the others

February 21, 2017 - The Try Guys Try Virtual Reality 

(3:10) eugene hugs zach from behind and looks thrilled with himself

(4:38) eugene leans towards the back of zach’s neck to whisper something to be a lil shit again (”back, demon!”)

(8:22) eugene wanders over to be a shit again, a reoccurring theme for this vid

(9:47, but also earlier (i forget when)) when eugene’s standing with his renditions of the try guys, he has his arm around his version of zach

March 5, 2017 - The Try Guys Take A Friendship DNA Test

(2:42) uh the whole dominant/submissive thing? what kind of kinky shit?

March 12, 2017 - The Try Guys Sexy Alcohol Taste Test

just the fact that these two were paired together for this kind of video

(1:20) “did you put your sex inside my drink, eugene?”

(1:48) eugene leaning right into zach’s personal space

(3:09) eugene looks so challenging when he’s describing the blow job shot. he’s READY

(3:13) “gene i noticed that yours is girthier than mine” eugene’s Look. also the nickname

(3:34) zach is so wide eyed when eugene takes the shot. also eugene definitely looks like he’s showing off

(3:45) “oooh yeah, i’m blowing your job...” “...just take the drink Zach, don’t think about it too much”

(4:04) eugene guiding zach’s head to take the shot???

(4:12) “this is the worst blow job i’ve ever gotten” and all that follows

(5:41) eugene like full-on bites

(6:15) “to zach’s tiny, fuckable body” “ahh... one day”

March 26, 2017 - The Try Guys Wear High Heels For A Night

(3:22) sitting beside each other at dinner

(5:47) eugene’s got his arm around zach, hand kinda on his neck

(6:44) ok... i know some stuff on this list is a bit of a stretch but DEFINITE heart eyes from eugene here

(7:36) eugene’s got his arm behind zach on the wall, leaning into his personal space

(8:25) zach leans into eugene to say something to him

(8:26) eugene’s reluctant to tap out bc he wanted to last the night, so zach suggests they call it a night so eugene can take the heels off without feeling bad

(8:41) eugene has his hands on zach’s shoulders, lets him lead him out

(8:43) eugene’s arm around zach’s shoulders again, hand kinda bunched in his shirt (also, “tonight zach carried me home”)

April 1, 2017 - The Try Guys Drunk Fast Food Taste Test

(0:12) eugene - “when people are drunk, they’re more honest than ever” hey so i wonder why u two get super touchy whenever ur drunk  🤔

(0:17) “my pants are still wet from the other video” “no one- no one wants to see that zach” eugene says, while staring at his butt

(0:39) “don’t eat without me, motherfucker”

(5:30) zagene being all cute and giggly at the end

April 15, 2017 - The Try Guys Take A Lie Detector Test

ok before we begin... #shamelessspon here and here

(1:48) eugene leaning over zach, one arm on either side of him

(2:18) eugene looks so goddamn fond here i’m dead

(4:35) when it’s revealed zach’s made out with a coworker, eugene looks pretty damn smug

also eugene looking progressively more annoyed the more coworkers zach’s said he’s made out with lmaooo

(5:22) eugene wants to fuck zach. literally have nothing to add, it speaks for itself

(6:09) zach reaches out to grab onto eugene’s arm

(7:44) zach grabs onto eugene’s arm again

(8:13) zach reaches out to grab eugene’s shoulder again

(8:35) hey so guess what zach’s doing, yet again

(8:54) eugene wraps his arm around zach’s shoulders

(8:59) eugene’s leaning heavily on zach’s shoulder

May 20, 2017 - The Try Guys Take An Ancestry DNA Test

ok before i begin i absolutely love this post by @foundghosts which might be worth a look if ur into reading body language (i think it’s super cool, which is a surprise to no one following this blog)

June 13, 2017 - The Try Guys Re-Create Photos Of Their Dads

(1:51) supportive bf shaving zach’s chest hair

also zach talking abt finding someone in the voice over when eugene’s the only person in the shot with him?

also this ask that i got

July 29, 2017 - The Try Guys Try The Japanese Tablecloth Trick

(5:33) “just take your pants off”

(6:43) zach and eugene driving everywhere together gives me life

(6:49) mocking each other like 5 year olds smh

August 5, 2017 - The Try Guys Try Cuban Miami 

(9:36) sitting beside each other for a coffee break

(10:35) teamwork on the cigar wrapping

(12:11) eugene’s arm is wrapped around zach

August 12, 2017 - The Try Guys Ski In Speedos

(0:29) [”i see eugene, i click”] zach: “i click! i click!” eugene just looks fond and exasperated 

(1:53) eugene is giving definite heart eyes here (also his fucking HAIR Y’ALL I’M SCREAMING)

(3:41) zach reaching forward to run his fingers through eugene’s hair (living the dream if we’re being real)

August 26, 2017 - The Try Guys 12-Mile Wilderness Adventure

(3:21) zach calling eugene tf out

(5:04) what is this cutesy couple-style photoshoot going on here

(7:40) eugene and zach walking together behind the others

(11:41) during the group hug, eugene has one arm fully around zch while his other is kind of just awkwardly patting keith’s shoulder lmfao

September 2, 2017 - The Try Guys Throw A $300,000 Bachelor Party

(3:27) sitting together in the back seat (literally incapable of driving anywhere if they’re not sitting together i swear)

the shots dotted throughout the video of zach and eugene talking to themselves or the camera and leaning towards each other a lil

(18:15) definitely got arms around each other, also eugene’s smile aw

September 9, 2017 - I Have An Autoimmune Disease

(3:37-3:55) eugene messing around with zach

(8:10) eugene was with zach the first time he got his shot (other try guys at least weren’t there)

September 16, 2017 - The Try Guys Get Makeovers From High School Girls

(8:21) eugene looks pretty flustered when he sees zach in his bad boy get up

(8:35) “nice meme reference!” 

yo but the things zach says when ned comes out in his clothes... u sure ur straight bud

October 7, 2017 - The Try Guys Try Immigrating To America

(0:05) eugene immediately looks to zach after making a joke (looking for validation?)

(4:06) “i think i have a crush on... iranian eugene” “don’t have a crush on fake me”

(5:10) “you’ve been recently widowed” “that means i’m single”

October 14, 2017 - The Try Guys Try Roller Derby

(2:04) eugene glances at zach a couple of times, looking incredibly fond

(2:31) eugene skating towards zach to hold his hand is still the cutest thing ever

(3:03) eugene skating towards zach to make him jump out of the way

(8:06) eugene reaches across ned to touch zach’s hand, for seemingly no reason

October 28, 2017 - The Try Guys Test Who Is The Most Attractive

(2:20) “you’re doing great sweetie”

(20:11) eugene “i hate children” yang: “but think of our children, how successful they’d be”

November 4, 2017 - The Try Guys Become Groomsmen For Keith’s Wedding

(2:06) “take your clothes off, zach”

(8:17) “ok umm... just think about zach naked” this is such a weird thing for eugene to have said and yet i’m not remotely surprised

(13:08) the Look

November 11, 2017 - The Try Guys Bake Bread Without A Recipe

(9:57) great minds think alike :’) (also eugene apparently just lurking around behind zach)

ok also adding on the little smile eugene does whenever zach smiles at him. i’ve noticed this before but i don’t think i’ve brought it up yet

(11:08)  zach mutters something to eugene, shared smile

(14:25) eugene’s classic adoring smile

(17:16) “i’ve been asking for hugs all day!” says zach, looking sulky

November 18, 2017 - The Try Guys Feed Wild Animals In Alaska

(2:26) adorable teasing

(3:49) leaning into each other a little

(6:44) more teasing

also y’all we’ve rlly gotta hand it to zach for not checking eugene out in the clips at the place they’re staying, even if he is straight. like bitch i’m a lesbian but oh boy.....

December 2, 2017 - The Try Guys Make The Ultimate Holiday Calendar 

(9:08) eugene confirms he’s lgbt, to the surprise of absolutely no one

(10:22) zach FULLY checking out eugene’s dick

(12:42) eugene adjusting zach’s scarf thing around his shoulders (i’m not jewish lol there’s probably some jewish name for it) - EDIT: it’s called a Tallus or talit

(15:30) “touch my butt” “i’ll hold his butt”

16:52, 16:54, 17:23 zach tries to kiss eugene

(17:23) “wow gimel that’s three kisses!!” “noo! that’s not how it works!”

December 11, 2017 - Not Too Deep Podcast with Grace Helbig

(19:10) “yeah we hang out more than’s probably healthy at this point” [what percentage of your weeks are spent with each other] “um, approximately the amount of time you’d spend with a significant other” “i was gonna say 80, it that too high? like my waking hours” [and sometimes when you’re sleeping!] “it has happened, yeah”

(20:09) (grace brings up zagene) zach: “i love this podcast already!!” eugene: “you know, zach loves that”

(20:20) zach wants to do a try guys recreate fanfic video. eugene is more reluctant. read into this as you will

(21:04) “he’s a classic bottom, i’m a more prototypical top”

(26:48) zach is “obsessed” with the idea of a fanfic recreation vid

(29:13) another example of zach offhandedly mentioning how hot he finds eugene

(33:34) “you’ll get married, you’re a romaaantic”

(35:57) great minds think alike :‘)

December 16, 2017 - Male Sex Symbols Throughout History

(6:46) ICONIC ass slap

and eugene’s winning smile immediately after

January 27, 2018 - The Try Guys Race Dune Buggies

(2:31) why do they literally sound like parents arguing abt who has to tuck their child in LMAO

zach also puts his hand on eugene’s back a second later

(2:40) eugene’s resting his head on zach’s shoulder as he leans forward

(5:05) eugene doing a mini photo shoot of zach kills me every time

(13:14) eugene initiates the group hug, but doesn’t extend it to ned and keith when they come over

also side note but zach fits into eugene’s arms so well it’s adorable

February 10, 2018 - The Try Guys Race Dog Sleds

(3:59) watching them goof around together is so sweet

(6:04) zach’s like got his hand fisted in eugene’s jacket

(7:03) why is it whenever we get a candid shot of these two they’re always standing suuuper close together

#let’s get into the THEORIES #the ultimate zagene masterpost #zagene #my posts #i hope y'all appreciate this a part of my soul died with this post #also like... i get this is weird ok leave me alone #the things i do for yall #the great zagene masterpost #i used the wrong tag ooooops

[deathbyhysteria]

57 facts tag !!

i was tagged by @serensims - thank you for tagging me even though i took so long because it gave me a migraine lol

i tag @gemgeminox @maplestreetsims @justkeeponsimming @all-harlows-eve @daisydezem and anyone else who wants to have a go.

facts are under the cut!

1.   i just turned 21 years old

2.  i am studying law in london

3.   when i finish i may go and do a postgrad somewhere abroad! we’ll see

4.   i have literally no hobbies now

5.   when i was younger i used to do ballet, viola, piano, guitar, yoga, drama, dance, singing and ballroom dancing - not all at the same time (i.e. i was much more well rounded than i am now)

6.   i have one younger sister

7.   i always wanted to have an older sibling, especially an older brother

8.    i used to be a big reader but i stopped. but over the summer i’ve been reading more again, especially crime books by Harlan Coben

9.    some shows i’ve been watching a lot of over the summer: bojack horseman, 3%, the flash

10.   s5 of bojack horseman actually came out on my birthday and i tried to rewatch all 4 seasons before then but i failed. however i just started the new season today!

11.   i was admitted to hospital twice over the summer, once while i was abroad i’m holiday which SUCKED

12.   i love travelling and some of the places i’ve been to are: italy, cyprus, various places in the usa, jamaica, mexico, nigeria, greece, spain, switzerland.

13.   my dream destination is japan... i would love to visit so badly

14.   speaking of japan, my favourite cuisine is actually japanese food, and i also really enjoy chinese and what little i have tried of vietnamese food too

15.   i have only one (two?) piercings and that’s my ear lobes. but i would love to get a second set of piercing on my lobes and i’m hoping to do it in the near future

16.  i’d love to get a tattoo one day but i’m not sure what i’d get and also i don’t like pain

17.   i’m in and out of hospital kinda frequently because of a medical condition i have (without going into specifics, you could say i’m a little like a spoonie)

18.   the only surgery i’ve had was when i was about 6 years old and i had my tonsils removed

19.   i really like makeup and i can get quite creative with it, but i don’t tend to wear anything outside of mascara, my go to lipstick (which is touch by mac) and possibly eyeliner on a daily basis

20.   i’m 5ft 7in (and a half)

21.   i know basic french and a little more than basic spanish, and i’m a native english speaker

22.   this year i’m learning yoruba, and i’m also hoping to pick up some basic german too

23.   i rarely cry at movies but the only ones which did manage to make me cry were: titanic (i’m sure i was too young to be watching it at the time), princess and the pea, boy in the striped pyjamas... oh and avengers: infinity war which made me bawl like my puppy had died

24.  i’m a really big fan of the mcu and i always go to watch the new releases in the cinema with my sister and my dad

25.   i’ve never see the incredible hulk so idk maybe that makes me a fake fan

26.   i had to wear braces for 6-7 years? but afterwards i stopped wearing my retainers so some of the gaps opened up in my teeth again 🤷‍♀️ what can you do

27.   i love music and i always try to give every genre a go... the only one i can’t deal with is country music

28.   my favourite thing is getting to see live music and i’ve gotten to see: one direction (my first concert!), 5 seconds of summer, little mix, twenty one pilots, hey violet and most recently taylor swift

29.   i’m still taking driving lessons over a year after i first started but my driving test is booked for next friday so idk maybe i’ll have an official license soon if i don’t flop

30.   i had 4 really close friends in high school but after that we kinda grew apart and i got pretty lonely and pretty bad (read: ridiculously awful) at making friends

31.   i did struggle with depression and mild anxiety in the past

32.   if you have mental health issues - please try and talk to someone about it. keep trying until you find someone you can trust. it took me a long time to admit i needed help and even longer to find someone i felt comfortable confiding in, but it was the best thing i ever did.

33.   i did really really well in my gcse’s but since then i’ve just gotten dumber i guess because all my grades have been nothing short of average, sometimes even significantly below average

34.   tumblr is basically the only social media i use now. i stopped using facebook, twitter and instagram, and i only keep the snapchat app around so i can take cute selfies, but i don’t ever post

35.   it’s 2am as i type this and i’m running out of things to say

36.   i used to get really painful periods, to the point where i was basically bedridden and the pain was enough to make me physically throw up. luckily they aren’t as bad anymore

37.   i love the summer and i really need that vitamin d in my life

38.   i really love winter clothes and big loose comfy sweaters are literally my favourite thing

39.   i drink a lot of tea, especially green tea with lots of honey

40.   i’m mildly lactose intolerant and yesterday i drank a chocolate milk which had some adverse effects... it wasn’t worth it tbh it tasted kinda nasty

41.   i used to really love bratz and i watched all the movies and even bought some of their albums

42.  i can’t really walk in heels but i’m trying... platform heels are not so bad but then i get people telling me i’m tall already so i don’t need to wear heels (as if i don’t just wear them because i like them)

43. i love lush bath bombs and i always have a few hanging around my bathroom

44.   my dress size is like a 10 but sometimes i have to go up a size because of my big bust, which i hate

45.   i actually really enjoy playing the papa’s pizzeria franchise online and they’re like my go to games when i’m really bored

46.   speaking of games i also really love phoenix wright, i’m playing the trilogy on the app now as i had only played ace attorney before

47.   i love getting manicures and idk why but i always tend to paint my nails dark blue... there’s this shade this one shade and no matter which nail bar you send me to, if they have it i’ll always pick it out without even realising it

48.   i play sims on my macbook air which probably isn’t a great pc for gaming bc it always makes the fan go absolutely crazy, although my game never lags even back when i used alpha cc

49.   i played the og sims but i never played sims 2 or 3 and i also never bought any expansion packs even though i was desperate to

50.   i wear a lot of black, not intentionally but probably because it’s just a safe colour that you can’t go wrong with

51.   i actually really enjoy getting socks as a gift but no one buys me them because i think it’s a universally accepted fact that socks are a rubbish gift

52.   i don’t own any trousers that aren’t jeans and i think that’s probably a little odd but i’m not sure

53.  i don’t have a great track record of keeping my mobile safe and i’ve ruined a lot of good phones by cracking the screen, dropping them in the toilet, dropping them into my cereal, or just plain losing them

54.   speaking of which i currently have an iphone 6s in rose gold and i love it and don’t care all that much to upgrade it. but it only has 16gb of space and i’m desperate for more

55.   i also really enjoy getting new pyjamas. and my favourite pyjamas are the ones that aren’t pyjamas at all i.e. just give me a t-shirt in size xxxl and i’m good to go

56.   i wear glasses because i have a lazy eye and i’m also long sighted (which is an absolute recipe for disaster when you’re trying to apply eyeliner, let me tell you)

57.   i’m genuinely surprised that i managed to list 57 facts about me!

#tags #57 facts tag #non sims

[tambourgi]

tagged by the wonderful @ithvka

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

1. pens, and then also dead pens I can’t throw away out of sentimentality.

2. LIP BALM. Lip products in general. Every time I leave the house I put a listick/chapstick/lipstick in my bag and they stay there til I start worrying I’ve lost them.

3. wallet with a little crumpled note from my gf.

4. granola bar that’s been in there since? January? I always have it “just in case” but can never quite justify eating it.

5. Various pins that have fallen off my jacket and I forget to put back on. Honestly, my jean jacket is like a second purse because it’s all POCKETS.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

1. Just. Poistcards. I’ve counted at least 50 postcards out and hung on the wall and that’s not counting the ones wedged into the frames of mirrors and paintings and scattered about in boxes. I can’t resist buying cool postcards, or books of postcards, and then hoarding them,

2. weird colored non-overhead lights. my gf has a Thing against overhead lighthing and I’ve picked it up which is to say I find it very harsh, and my eyes are very sensitive, and at night i have a colored strand of christmas lights and a little color-change lantern and one of those cheesy “touch and light up” lamps my mom and I were given for christmas.

3. Disgusting amounts of discarded sweaters. I seem to manage to put other clothes away but never. Sweaters. They are scattered in my chair or on my bed if I feel cold.

4. Books and books and books. I have a tiny tiny bookshelf my great-grandfather made and then just. Stacks. Piles. This is maybe a tenth of the books I own the rest are back home at mom’s and it’s. Wild.

5. CANDLES. I have four pillar saint-style candles and then two squat fat ones and some tealights and some incense? If that counts? I just need the fire and the scent around me.

5 of my favorite things:

1. Brutalism! I’ve been on a big kick recently reading so much abotu brutalism, I have a soft spot bc my college campus where I met and fell in love with my lady-love was all very 70s Brutalist so it’s nostalgic for me but also? I just fuckin love concrete, man.

2. Books, which is a cheap shot from a loser who doesn’t seem to have the attention span to read very much anymore. But when I can it’s really good and I used to a lot, and I’m trying to be better, so...

3. My weird spindly air plant. It’s called a caput Medusae or Medusa’s head (the other thing I love is the concept of Medusa, just, generally). It’s lived through anything and it’s so satisfying and I can just pick it up and hold it!

4. Bread. Simple but I. Love. Bread. When my gf used to work at a bakery we got bread p much every day and it was, the world, to me. There is nothing better than just really crusty wonderful bread.

5. Campfires. Just fires in general. The leaping flames and the way they make you feel so soft and warm and the heat on your face and the smoky smell that lingers in your clothes... everything.

5 things I’m currently into:

1. Foxfire! I’ve been reading the first two collected Foxfire volumes and I keep tearing up at random passages just about, folklore, or ghost stories, or building cabins. There’s something so beautiful and optimistic about this project for the future, the beauty of doing something small and meaningful for a group of kids...

2. Royal Blue/Cobalt. I’ve been having a lot of aesthetic/fashion thoughts about this coming spring... I want to look like the little box of crayons they used to hand out at a restaurant, warm yellow and crimson and true-green and cobalt. Especially cobalt.

3. Matisse. Tangentially related, with that shade of blue-- I’m knitting a hat out of this yarn in the shade “Matisse Blue,” and I’ve been reading a lot about him and studying all the art and... I mean explaining how you feel about art is always a crapshoot, but. It’s very Real.

4. Podcasts. I’ve been feeling very lonely and unsettled lately and it’s very comforting to have voices going on in the background, even if I don’t pay them very much mind. It makes me feel more present.

5. Making bread. I’ve found this wonderful recipe needing very little kneading and a long rise and just the most incredible crust in the world, and I know this is tied to the aforementioned BREAD but fuck you, I love it.

5 things on my to-do list:

1. Leave Texas!!!!!!!! Work out how to leave Texas effectively. Don’t wanna get into what’s led me here or what’s kept me but I can’t stay here. I get that it’s right for so many people but I fucking hate it here, I hate not being near the ocean, not having real weather, not having snow...

2. Work on my story. I’ve worked on plenty of other stories but none of them are the Big One I’ve been trying to put together, which is. Typical. But.

3. Finish sewing/securing the patches to my jean jacket. It’s my second skin so I want it to be perfect, but there’s still more I want to do and tweak. Also maybe tweak and work on making new patches.

4. More collages. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve done but I’ve been depressed and glum and not able to bring myself to do anything with it for a while. But I need to get back into it.

5. Do a closet purge and get rid of everything I don’t want, and get together outfits that I do. I know I spend too much time on outfits and tie too much of my self-worth to my outward appearance, but also I can’t spend 30 minutes dithering and changing my outfit every damn day, so.

5 (or more) people I want to see do this (if u want):

@kardomahgangster @axforthefrozensea @myfavoritedemons @doglore @doyoubelieveinmonsters

#and whoever else!!!!! #tag meme #(are ask memes even a thing anymore?) #i remember when my friends and i used to do this on fuckin deviantart #im OLD

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

#BackWithVengeance

[spectrumscribe]

a solo act is good, too.

a Humanverse general TMNT universe fic, mostly using 2012 versions and borrowing from IDW here and there. i’ve always headcanoned 2012 Mikey as an aro/ace, so on the free day of the lgbtmntweek i decided to finally write a fic up for the hc. 

(not @ them bc of a slight NSFW situation involved. nothing graphic,  it barely lasts more than five sentences.)

“So Mikey, when’d you and Angel start dating?”

Mikey, age nine and a half, hits pause on his current model building project to give a blank stare to his friend across the table. Mondo keeps staring back, expectant.

“What??” Mikey asks.

“Everyone’s saying you’re girlfriend and boyfriend!” Mondo exclaims. He shoves aside his own Lego to lean forwards, whispering fervently, “You know girls have cooties, right?”

“Uh, yeah? Duh,” Mikey says, then remembers that his cousin Karai and friend April will beat him up for saying that, and diverts the subject. “But we’re not dating! Angel just likes Bionicle, that’s all. She’s fun, and we live really close.”

“Girls don’t like Bionicle,” Mondo says. “My sister hates it. She’s gotta be faking it so you guys can date.”

Mikey feels confused. He thought they were just friends who liked the same toys and TV show. And Angel never said so, so they aren’t dating. “But we’re not-!”

“You totally are!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Boys, settle down,” A passing TA says, and both boys quiet down.

There’s a moment of silence, and Mondo whispers, “Totally dating.”

And Mikey sticks out his tongue, not listening to another word his friend says all through free time. He’ll just ask Angel later, when they walk home from school together.

“My friends were saying the same thing, actually,” Angel says later, when they’re weaving through the streets back to their shared neighborhood.

Mikey scrunches his nose. “What? Why?”

Angel shrugs, reaching up and twisting one of her long dark strands around her finger. “They said we hang out a lot, so we gotta be dating.”

“That’s dumb. Donnie and April hang out a lot and they’re not dating.”

“I said that too, but everyone else thinks they’re dating anyways.”

Mikey groans. “So dumb.”

Angel shrugs again. “It’s not super dumb. I think dating sounds kinda fun.”

“Ew, no.”

“What, you wouldn’t date me?”

“You’re my friend.”

“So?”

“Friends don’t date, they do- friend stuff!”

“My big brother says that dating starts with friendship, though.”

Mikey thinks about that for a moment. “Really? People on TV just kiss a bunch, though.”

“Keno doesn’t kiss his girlfriend too much, they mostly just sit around and talk a lot,” Angel explains. “Or play music in his room, sometimes. So kinda what we do, but I guess big kid stuff instead.”

“So… are we dating, then?” Mikey asks tentatively.

Angel looks at him, contemplative as she examines Mikey’s baggy orange shirt, his cargo shorts, and wildly tangled brown hair. “Maybe? Do you wanna be dating?”

“Uh, we’d still do friend stuff, right?” Mikey doesn’t think kissing part sounds too bad. But only if it’s in little amounts.

“Well duh, we gotta finish Bionicle, right?”

“Oh totally.”

They keep walking for a minute, and Mikey remembers something that people who date are supposed to do. “I think we hold hands now.”

“Oh, right.”

Angel sticks out her hand, and Mikey takes it. They keep walking, go to his house where his brothers are already hanging around in, and they watch Bionicle season 2’s fifth episode together.

They end up kissing possibly three times over the course of the rest of the week, barely pecks on the lips, before Angel says they should probably break up.

“There’s no spark,” She says very seriously. “It’s not you, Mikey, it’s the spark.”

Mikey is hurt for about two seconds, and then shrugs. He’d only really been doing it because people said he’s supposed to. “Okay. You still wanna sleep over?”

It makes a lot more sense, around fourteen, why Angel hadn’t felt any spark for the brief relationship or Mikey. Mostly having to do with her dyeing her hair purple, getting a pink shaded button for her bag, and going steady with Alopex from her apartment building. Mikey isn’t really surprised- Karai had had the same kind of look Angel grew into at the exact same age, and his cousin had been dating girls since she figured out how to bleach her hair.

Mikey, by fourteen, has had exactly one relationship, three first kisses, and lacks motivation to seek out another situation to build those counts. He’s moved on from his Bioncle years- though he keeps some toys, for the sake of nostalgia- and dived headfirst into the Marvel comic’s universe.

The school library has an excellent selection, and at the beginning of his fourteenth year he meets a girl buried up to her ears in that section. Renet and Mikey hit it off immediately, swapping knowledge and recommendations and favorites and strong opinions about individual universes.

“Who’s your friend?” Leo asks after one evening, when Mikey had spent about an hour and a half debating heatedly on the phone. Guardians of the Galaxy verses the Avengers- who did more on the grand scale of things for the earth and its wellbeing? Mikey voted the Guardians, but Renet had fought back valiantly that ground troops frequently made more differences than long-range artillery support.

“Renet! She just moved here like, three weeks ago or something,” Mikey says, hanging up the phone. The debate would have to be continued at school, next lunchtime. He turns to his sixteen year old brother, grinning. “Can she come over for dinner sometime? You guys’ll love her, I swear.”

“Her?” Raph asks loudly from the living room. “Holy shit, did you finally get a girlfriend?”

Mikey frowns. “Uh. No? She’s just my comics buddy.”

“Who you’re inviting for dinner,” Leo says pointedly. “Who you just spent like, two whole hours talking to, instead of texting.”

“Hey Donnie, Mike’s finally got a crush on someone!” Raph hollers. Crashing follows and Donnie skids down the steps of their second story in all his fifteen year old lanky glory. He nearly wipes out on the pile of laundry by the steps.

“Did we get blackmail yet?” Donnie asks immediately, hardly taking the time to steady himself.

“Working on it,” Leo replies.

Mikey slaps his hands over his eyes, groaning. “Guyyys! Shut up! That’s not how this is! She’s just- really cool, okay? And knows about superhero shit!”

He hears his older brothers make disbelieving sounds, and Mikey ignores them all. Maybe he deserves a little teasing- he’d done so to all of them about their crushes- but it’s! Not! Like that!

And then the first school dance of the year rolls around, and Mikey is faced yet again by social pressure to be dating someone. He has limited options for a dance date: his cousin, who scares everyone and is probably too busy to come. His best friend, who has two dates already (Mikey doesn’t know how Mondo managed that or how he’s going to keep that a secret from both dates, but he promises his friend the funeral will be a nice one). His other best friend, but LH is twenty-something and would really scare everybody, even though he’s just a big softie who likes leather too much. None of those dates are acceptable, in hindsight.

Or there’s Renet.

Mikey wants to go to the dance, because dancing is great and he loves social events in general, so he agonizes a bit and finally asks Renet to go with him.

She turns bright pink when he does, and fumbles her hold on issue four of Wolverine and the X-men. “O-oh, Mikey. I didn’t know you, um, felt that way about me?”

Mikey rushes to abolish that idea. “No! I mean- I like you, but not like that! It’s just a stupid dance, okay? I just want to dress up nice and go dancing, I swear.”

Renet sighs in relief. “Okay, good. I’m not really supposed to date until I’m older anyways. I’m glad we don’t have to have such a totally uncomfortable convo.”

Mikey slumps in his chair, huffing. “You and me both. So will you?”

“Be your date?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure! I love dances, they’re totally bodacious,” Renet giggles, and Mikey grins in return. His friend’s outdated slang has to be one of his favorite things about her. He kind of wonders why isn’t crushing on her- Renet is curvy and cute and knows a ton about comics- but she’s just his friend.

Mikey puts that thought aside, and asks Renet what the hell a corsage is.

When the night rolls around, she shows up in a dress and hijab that’s color coordinated and he puts on actual dress pants for once. He wears his favorite flannel and a bowtie borrowed off Donnie- and grins and bears it as his father, brothers, and their friends all snap pictures of him and Renet.

“You two are so cute,” April comments, taking a picture as Mikey sticks his tongue out at her.

“I hate all of you,” He grouches, but smiles again so Renet’s parents will have good photos. At least he gets to have revenge, snatching up a camera and getting all the angles possible of Leo, Donnie, April, Casey, and Raph in their outfits. The five of them are going stag together- for reasons Mikey is Highly Suspicious of, regarding Donnie, Casey, April, and Leo in particular- and he’s only a little mad they didn’t tell him going stag was an option.

The dance itself goes great- good music, good mood, mediocre refreshments and minimal buzzkill from teachers supervising. Mikey sees and meets his family throughout the evening, throwing down on the dancefloor with Renet and their classmates. He sees Leo making his Nervous But Trying Not To Be face as he talks to a couple of his classmates, mostly towards one Asian guy with dyed white hair. Mikey also sees Raph drifting from the group with his friends and twin, towards the punch table and snacks, which leaves Donnie, Casey, and April shimmying in a circle and looking really awkward, and why can’t they just figure themselves out already, jeeze.

Mikey focuses mostly on twirling Renet around, and having fun with that. Mondo, who is soaked in punch from his dates dumping him and going off together, gives Mikey meaningful looks directed towards Renet.

Mikey ignores his friend and highly awkward family members, and just enjoys dancing with his comics buddy. Renet, at the end of the night, is flushed and grinning and Mikey really does wonder why he doesn’t feel the need to kiss her. She is awfully cute.

When the drop her off at home, all they say to each other is a reminder that comic swap is this Thursday and to remember to bring the ones they’d borrow from one another. And then Renet leaves, shutting the door and shutting Mikey inside a van with his stupid nosy family.

“So,” Leo says, and Mikey doesn’t have to look towards the driver seat to hear that grin.

“You two crazy kids kiss tonight?” Casey finishes, poking the back of Mikey’s head. Mikey swats the hand and tells them all to piss off. His family does not in fact piss off and pokes for juicy details for at least another few blocks.

There’s no ‘juicy details’ to tell, even after he and Renet meet up the rest of the week and keep meeting up. They swap comics and have debates and just hang out, still just friends and unchanged from the dance date. Mikey wonders on and off why he doesn’t have a crush on Renet- or anyone, really- but brushes it off in favor of the new Superior Ironman series coming out soon.

It stays that way, through years fifteen and sixteen- while Leo finally works up the courage to admit out loud he likes guys and ask Usagi out, Donnie and Casey and April keep making circles around each other and the elephant in the room, and Raph starts making eyes at a cadet in training he’s met at the gym. Even Renet starts going steady with a boy her family approves of, and she approves of even more so, and Mondo goes through about five more relationships, all ending in various states of chaotic mutuality.

Mikey watches his family and friends all be in love or at least interested in other people, and Mikey just keeps feeling more interested in his comics and skating.

“Maybe you’re gay, like me,” Angel suggests at one point, while they’re sitting at her kitchen table and cramming for a bio test.

“I dunno, maybe?” Mikey answers, and doesn’t feel against dating a guy, but feels about as enthused as he would dating a girl. Or anyone in between, honestly.

“You already tried girls, give some guys a shot. More for me.”

“You thinking of cheating on Alo?”

Angel flicks an eraser at Mikey. It lodges in his coils and he doesn’t even bother getting it out.

“Hell no, and if you say anything like that to her I’ll bust your kneecaps.”

“Noted.”

Mikey actually gives it a shot, dating guys. Dating in general. Keno introduces Mikey to a delivery boy his age at a local pizzeria, and Woody’s not bad to hang out with. He’s got curly hair to Mikey’s coily, freckles except in red, and skates most weekends. And he likes comics, albeit indie ones, and they find a bit of common ground by breaking in each other for new fields of reading.

It goes great, chaste kisses and holding hands and having coffee dates to skate parks- up until Woody asks to take it a step further. And Mikey doesn’t… want to.

“Is it your first time or something?” His boyfriend asks, and Mikey nods. “Then we’ll… wait, I guess. Until you’re comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Mikey says, and tries to not feel guilty for not being ready right now. He knows for a fact Mondo lost his virginity ages ago, described in detail that Mikey had to make his friend shut up about, that Angel lost hers a while ago, told in much less detail, and that most of their classmates have. He also knows that his brothers had at least tried things at this point, and Mikey hasn’t.

He feels a little left behind and frustrated about it.

He tells his buddy, Linnorm Hirutarum, named after a dragon because his parents had been awesome, all about it as LH tends to the vegetable patch behind his tiny house. Mikey flops all over the grass by it, grumbling and sighing, and snitching lettuce when he pretends LH isn’t looking.

“If you are not ready, then you are not ready,” LH says sensibly in his usual growling tone. Which is default for him and basically his version of a warm-fuzzy tone anyways.

“But I should be!” Mikey exclaims. “Everyone else was. Is. Augh.”

“Have you talked about this with Woody?”

“I… I don’t want him thinking it’s about him. Because it’s not! It’s just stupid whatever stuff for me and I need to get over it.”

LH’s shadow falls over him, and Mikey waits for his huge friend to gently lower himself onto the grass. LH’s wide scars move with him as he does, displayed by a sleeveless shirt only in the safety of the hedge protected backyard. His hand comes down on Mikey’s veritable afro, and pats Mikey’s head as he keeps talking.

“I know people who have made rash decisions about these sorts of things,” LH says seriously. “If you are not ready, then do not force yourself to. Respect your own boundaries.”

Mikey sighs, but agrees to respect himself. It’s easy to agree in that moment, with only LH’s non-judgemental presence near him, but it’s harder when he’s with Woody again and trying to explain himself without being rude.

He gives it a try, the whole sex thing. LH said to respect his boundaries, but Mikey thinks he can do it if he just figures out how it goes. Everyone else likes it, so shouldn’t he?

They talk about it, set up a date, and Mikey gets ready to experience the… experience.

It ends up being an unexciting, uncomfortable half hour of sloppy kisses and bumping parts. Mikey tries his best, but can’t figure out why anyone works so hard to experience this.

When it’s all over, Mikey hasn’t felt anything remotely close to pleasure, and actually feels a little over touched. Woody is a bit flushed, breathing fast by Mikey’s ear, but doesn’t seem super pleased either.

“…you didn’t enjoy it, did you?” He asks.

Mikey covers his eyes, and sighs. “No. Sorry.”

“Yeah, I thought you didn’t. Sorry, Mikey.”

“It’s not your fault,” Mikey says, taking his arms away and staring at the ceiling of Woody’s room. “I’m pretty sure this one’s all on me.”

They sit in stiff silence for a moment, before Woody asks if Mikey wants to stay for dinner. Mikey declines as gracefully as he can, and goes home instead. Slogging upstairs and heading into the shower to wash off.

He’s pretty sure he shouldn’t feel so much better, alone in his bedroom and freshly cleaned of the lingering smell of body fluids. His brothers find him there later, in a bathrobe and watching the original Twin Peaks on his laptop, and they ask him why he washed so early.

Mikey debates for a moment, and decides they’ll find out somehow anyways. “I had sex.” He’s unsurprised to hear Leo choke on his own spit, and Raph and Donnie make twin sounds of shock and disbelief. “Yup. Popped the cherry but good. You guys can stop teasing me about it, now.”

Does he sound a little bitter? Mikey thinks he does. From the way his brothers hover awkwardly in the doorway, they heard the bitterness, too.

“…you okay, Mikey?” Leo asks, genuinely concerned.

Mikey shrugs. “I’m fine. It just went awful, that’s all.”

Raph pats Leo on the shoulder, simultaneous with Donnie, as they both silently nominate the eldest to deal with the situation. Leo shoots them both an abandoned look, but steps into Mikey’s room to come sit on his bed. Mikey doesn’t pause his video, using it as a distraction from his prickling shame.

Leo watches him for a moment, before asking, “You used protection, right?” and Mikey groans, covering his face.

“It wasn’t that kind of sex, okay?”

“Oh. Um. Good?”

“Smooth,” Raph comments from the doorway, audibly swatted at by Donnie.

“Anyways,” Leo recovers. “You were both… you talked about it beforehand, right? You both wanted it?”

“Yeah,” Mikey says miserably into his sleeve.

“…you know first times are always bad, right, Mikey? It takes- um- practice-”

“It wasn’t because of that, Leo. You can stop.”

“Thank you,” Leo says gratefully. Donnie and Raph snicker from the doorway. “So… what was it because?”

“I can’t believe this is a conversation we’re having.”

“Shh!”

“If it’s somethin’ that kid did-”

“Raph we talked about that contingency already: only if Mikey says so-”

“It wasn’t Woody,” Mikey says, before death threats start getting thrown around. “It was me, okay? I made it suck.” He takes his arms off his face, shooting a look at all three of his siblings. “And before you say it- no it wasn’t just because it was my first time. It sucked ‘cause I suck and I couldn’t figure out how to enjoy sex, okay?”

A beat of silence, all three of his brothers staring at him, and then Leo breaks the lull.

“Mikey… you don’t ‘figure out’ how to enjoy sex. You just- enjoy it. It happens naturally.”

Mikey’s cheeks burn and he scowls. “Well apparently not with me.”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet?” Raph suggests. “I mean, you know me and how things go with that.”

Mikey shakes his head. “I kinda doubt it; I’ve tried to get crushes on like, ten different kids at school and nada. Zip.”

Donnie tilts his head, long hair following the movement. “Maybe when you’re older you’ll be more interested?”

Mikey sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe. I hope so. But it’s been like- never a thing, okay? I should’ve had feelings or whatever at some point, at least once, right?”

A collective “uhhhh” from his brothers and Mikey turns over into his pillow to suffocate himself. Leo pats his back comfortingly, saying Mikey should just give himself more time, keep an open mind to chances in the future- and Mikey makes a wordless complaining sound into his pillow for it.

He and Woody break it off a few weeks later. His friend tried, and Mikey recognizes that, but Woody needs a relationship that involves stuff Mikey just… can’t figure out how to give. He tries only two more times before they just call it quits. It’s not working, and trying to make it work is just frustrating for them both.

They keep being friends afterwards, and that’s actually better in the long run. It’s everything Mikey really wanted out of the relationship anyways, so he doesn’t feel like he’s lost anything.

He feels shitty for not being able to put out like he wanted to, though. And that drives him nuts for the rest of the year, until he’s seventeen and graduating finally, and gearing up to follow his siblings to local universities. Donnie graduated ages ago, but stayed local because of their family and he, April, and Casey’s really obvious secret relationship. Casey is in mechanics, and April in general sciences; Donnie is in both and more, because he’s insane. Leo is already a few years into his share of university courses, a hopeful nurse in the future, and Raph is neck deep in his art courses.

Mikey doesn’t know what he’s going to go for, and signs up for a random collection of electives to start with. Social sciences and psychology looks sort of fun, and so do dance courses. But those are months away, and before then is summer, family time, and June’s Pride Parade.

They’ve gone a couple times, when everyone has the day off from work or classes, and this year Mikey doesn’t have a shift at his outreach program scheduled on the parade’s date. So he, his family and friends, all end up watching the parade go by in a loosely connected group.

The standard drag queens, sponsor programs, and generally proud and loud folks roll by, music and cheer its usual levels of boisterousness. Mikey snags a couple plastic necklaces that are being given out, and just enjoys hanging out with his family. He waves to Angel and Alopex as they march by, part of the local lesbian representatives, watching the familiar pink and red flags flutter as they do, but pauses as the next group follows them.

It’s just a handful of people, walking with grey, white, purple, and black flags, mixed with ones very similar but instead of purple, they have green. There’s some polite clapping as they go past, and Mikey nudges Donnie beside him. “Hey, Donnie, what’re those flags for?”

“I… don’t actually know?” His phone is out within seconds, reflexes of a true technology addict. “Let’s see what our almighty lord and savior google has to say about it.” Mikey pushes close, reading as much as he can as Donnie flicks through the search faster than he can take it. “They’re- huh. They’re for ‘asexuality’ and... ‘aromantics’? I don’t even know what the second one is, and I’ve never heard about that first one being applied to anything other than asexual reproduction.”

“More explanation, please?” Mikey asks impatiently.

“It’s says- don’t push, I’m trying to scroll- it says it’s for individuals with little or no sexual drive, or little to no interest in romance. Actually that sounds contradictive, why are they listed together…”

Mikey’s eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”

“Well, that’s a gross oversimplification of everything here. There’s a spectrum for it, and apparently different categories? This is actually pretty interesting. I wonder why I’ve never read about it before.”

Mikey snags the phone from his brother, scrolling back to the top and rereading the first few paragraphs. He ignores Donnie’s grabby hands and keeps reading, feeling a twisty hopeful emotion build in his chest.

“Here,” He says, tossing the phone back at his brother. “hold my spot.” And he takes off at a jog to catch up with the parade members. They’re not too far ahead, and Mikey just has to avoid slipping on stray necklaces as he runs over to them.

“Hey- hey!” He shouts, catching up with the first person he can. The woman turns questioningly towards him, and Mikey blurts, “When did you- did you first know?”

She blinks at him, adjusting her hold on the big flag pole on her shoulder. “Excuse me?”

“That you’re asexual,” Mikey asks, heart tempo speeding up. “How’d you know?”

She stares at him a second longer, and then grins. “Around the time I had my first girlfriend, and I looked back at the times with my other partners and figured out I was always more interested in watching the movie than I was in making out.”

Mikey grins back. “Yo- same hat!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Totally! My ex always wanted to make out during Luke Cage and I was always like- dude no there’s good stuff happening. That’s. Wow.” Mikey feels a little breathless. “So that’s what it is? It’s not like- just a me thing?”

He barely hears the crowd around them, his focus tunneled around the conversation and the woman holding the flag. Mikey waits for a denial or an okay, a little scared while he’s so excited.

The woman smiles kindly. “No, that’s not just a you thing. We’re not a huge community, but there’s aces out there. Do you think you’re one of us?”

“I don’t know, I’m- I’m hoping so?” Mikey’s heart does a little twist. “I mean. My bro just pulled up the google explanation, and it sounds really, really. Um. Like me?”

The woman reaches up to the front of her jean jacket, and reaches into a pocket. When she pulls out her hand, she holds something out to Mikey.

“Look into it a little more, but if you think asexuality fits you- then welcome to the club, kid.”

Mikey takes the little button, grinning ear to ear. He thinks he’s shaking he’s so ecstatic. “Hey, would it be cool if I hugged you right now? I think you just solved like half my life problems.”

The woman laughs, and holds her arm out. It’s an awkward hug, because they’re both still walking and she’s carrying a flag, but Mikey appreciates it wholly.

When he comes back to his family, he’s got a new pin stuck to his shirt and an elated, hopeful feeling in his chest behind it.

“Hey guys, guess what?”

Turns out, not really feeling like dating people is fine all on its own.

So while Leo and Usagi go through the ups and downs of long-standing relationships, Donnie, Casey, and April all share their usual collective awkwardness and romantic overtures, Raph finally lands a date with the cadet Y’Gythgba he’s been following around for ages, and Karai and Shinigami disappear over the eastern horizon to share their seventh anniversary-

Mikey cracks a fresh pile of comics in his bedroom, turns up his music, and calls Renet on Skype to have a comparison hangout of their latest picks. He hangs out with Mondo and Woody around the skate park before that, and rolls by Angel’s place to say hi to his friend and her family on the way back. He pops in at LH’s place, trading half the casserole Angel’s mom gave to him for fresh veggies, chatting about his day so far and plans for a comic binge later. He sees his friends, does what he always does with them, and departs from them all one after another.

When he goes home, enjoying the summer heat all on his own and excited to video call his best girl who-is-his-friend and nothing more- he doesn’t feel even the slightest bit lonely as he walks. Like he always has.

#My writing #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt IDW #michelangelo #asexuality #what a great kid #i really enjoy relating to him on this subject #as well as sliding a few good pairings along the sidelines mhm #and fyi y'gythgba eventually joins the paratroopers and is raph's really cool and buff gf #and shinigami has her nickname in here because of her status as a veritable reaper in the online games she plays #And yes #the capritello trio do eventually figure themselves out and establish a relationship officially #all good things

[ronanlyncx]

the best parts of the dream thieves (featuring me crying pt. 2)

part one

- “Ronan was everything that was left: molten eyes and a smile made for war” 

- Ronan’s second secret #gay

- Gansey: “i would have thought you had more muscles. Don’t feminist have big muscles?” i just want to punch him can someone please punch him

- gansey calling ronan an incredible creature #gay 

- “The elderly made ronan anxious” bitch me too!!!

- Ronan wanting to race kavinsky in the pig and adam is like dude no there is like 5 people in here we weigh too much and ronan goes: “noah doesn’t count” “Hey!” “You’re dead!” i love these nerds

- Gansey: “am I in your dreams?” Ronan: “Oh yes, baby” i hate him jsjksksk

- “Ronan sometimes dreamt of Adam, too” #gay

- Gansey and Ronan going to get orange juice at 3:32 am 

- “Unlike some people, my sense of worth isn’t tied into my occupation.” “Ooooooh,” Orla crowed… she traded her Henrietta accent for a gloriously snotty version of the Old South. “Someone’s been hanging out with Richard Campbell Gansey the third too much.” orla just came for blue’s life holy shit 

- “Jane!” “It’s a wizard in box.” “It will do your homework.” “And it’s been dating your girlfriend.” “Are you all drunk?” hey quick question wtf am i reading

- “Why is the tea so good here?” “I spit in it” Blue Sargent is an icon

“Blue Sargent was pretty in a way that was physically painful to him. He was attracted to her like a heart attack.” not to sound like a cheesy white lady or anything but this shit breathtaking bro

- “What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam?… Freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.” PROTECT THIS ANGEL GET HIM SOME TOILET PAPER WTF (also notice how what he wants continues to drop in difficulty to acquire this is so sad i’m literally a mess) 

- “You be careful, Adam Parrish. ‘Cause one day you might get what you ask for. There might be girls in Henrietta who’ll let you talk to them like that, but i’m not one of them.” i really love this woman

- “He [Gansey] was bare-legged and sockless in his Top-Siders and very clearly a real human, an attainable human, and this, somehow, made Ronan want to smash his fist through a wall” #gay

-  “Adam thinks he saw an apparition at his place” Ronan eyed Noah, “I’m seeing an apparition right now.” this entire relationship is just ronan roasting noah have you ever seen anything so pure

- Noah freaking out about the glitter in the snowglobe #angel

- Ronan paying Adam’s rent i am alive

- Gansey comparing Blue to a platypus

- “He threw me out the window!” “You’re already dead!” amazing

- Blue wanting to get Adam high so he can relax seriously someone let this boy take a nap

- Noah: “Is crack the same thing as speed?” 

- Ashley not going into St. Agnes bc she “refuses to participate in a ceremony that doesn’t allow equal spiritual privileges to women”  NICE

- Ronan dreaming kavinsky a replica of his white sunglasses after kavinsky gave him a copy of ronan’s leather bands #pettygay

- “and he was the boy with the most beautifully interesting car and the most savagely handsome of friends, Ronan Lynch” #gay

- Gansey: “I love this car. I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one and fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be by kitchen, I’ll live in one…” what...the fuck

- Declan coming to give gansey a new battery for the pig and Ronan actually doing the most™ “He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.” this is so extra omfgggg

- “His [Declan’s] gaze followed his brother’s leg to where it rested on top of Adam’s, and his expression tightened.” dude ronan even your brother is noticing your crush u gotta do better

- Gansey thinking that Ronan tried to kill himself after all this time and then finding out that Ronan was attacked by a dream demon thing #shook

- Gansey and Ronan fighting a different dream demon thing with a box cutter and a crowbar how are these children alive 

- “She [Blue] wore a dress Ronan thought looked like a lampshade. Whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, Gansey clearly wished he had one. Ronan wasn’t a fan of lamps.” This is the least subtle homosexuality metaphor i have ever read in my life (also: Gansey crushing on Blue #nice)

- refer to this post 

- “Let’s just go on before Gansey has time to say something that makes me hate him” lmao

- “The air was stained permanently with the pleasant odor of Ronan’s childhood: hickory smoke and boxwood, grass and seed and lemon cleaner. ‘I remember,’ Gansey said thoughtfully to Ronan, ‘when you used to smell like this’” #gay

- Dream toaster

- “I am being perfectly fucking civil” #iconic

- “Don’t fucking swear” #iconic pt 2

- Calla preforming arial yoga through the continuation of Ronan’s reading 

- The entire time they are on the boat adam and gansey have the biggest hard-ons for orla and blue wants to die/kill them and ronan is disgusted 

- ronan complains about the heat like 600 times i love my dramatic son

- Gansey finding the skin of blue’s calf more “tantalizing” than orla’s entire torso boiiiii if u dont get!!!!!

- “Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes.” she’s doing god’s work

- “He was struck by what a glorious and fearless animal Blue Sargent was.” I’m emo

- “Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence.” The fact that adam calms gansey down is so pure and i cannot believe this is canon (also: blue also calms gansey down... i love my bisexual son)

- Gansey being badass asf when him and ronan go to confront kavinsky about breaking in the apartment and ronan going super heart-eyes 

- also i am convinced that this scene is dick’s bi awakening

- “…Gansey leaving for D.C. without him was unbearable. They had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reason’s why he couldn’t say it” #GAY

- “While i’m gone, dream me the world. Something new for every night.” #REALLYGAY

- no one in fox way can work a cellphone maura literally had to get blue to make the gray man’s voicemail work

- Ronan blowing a kiss to gansey and adam when they are flying away in the helicopter i fucking hate him jsjsjs

- Helen asking if Adam wants to go into the whole foods with her and adam just stares at her. me too buddy

- “’Pigmy Pouters. Feisty ones!’ Gansey mouthed Blue at Adam. Adam let out a little wail of helpless laughter.” adam parrish laughing: a concept

-  Blue finally admitting to herself that she likes Gansey while laying in his bed

- “I’d ask you out, if i was alive” “i’d say yes” :(((((

- the fact that adam’s dad actually pushed my manz down the stairs at one point i will personally fight robert parrish

- “This is Adam Parrish. Shake his hand. He’s more clever than I am. One day we’ll be throwing one of these shindigs for him.” MY HEART

- Adam literally filling up a whole page describing helen #bi

- when helen asks why ronan wasn’t with them, adam and gansey both get the mental image of the house burning down lmao

- “you gonna race with those shades on, you Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit?” he’s so elegant with words!!!1111!!!

- Ronan thinking Kavinsky is beautiful um this is gross but #gay 

- Gansey calling Blue to calm him down just because she makes him feel “uneven and shattered” im fucking emo

- Kavinsky calling gansey literally anything BUT his name: “Dick three” “dick dick dick” “Dickie”

- Ronan figuring out how to master his dreams and then leaving kavinsky #scammer

- to be honest i cannot believe helen and gansey managed to convince adam about the hondoyota with the literal SKIT they used 

- “HEY, OLD MAN!” “Ronan!” ANGELS

- ronan apologizing for wrecking the pig and Gansey actually not believing his ears.

- “Hey, Churchill tried to negotiate with hitler.” “Did he?” don’t argue with boat shoe about history this man will rip you to shreds

- pink switchblade

- “Times circular, chicken”

- BLUE GOING OFF ON ADAM IM JUST ABOUT TO QUOTE THE WHOLE ROAST

- THE WHOLE ROAST: “Politics! I have no interest. Voting? What? I forgot my apron. I think I ought to be in the kitchen right now, actually. My rolling pin-” “i didn’t know that you-” “thats my point! did it even occur to you? You wouldn’t have gone someplace without Gansey, though. You two make a grand couple! kiss him! (lmao) Well, i don’t want to be just someone to kiss. I want to be a real friend, too. Not just someone who’s fun to have around because- because I have breast!” GO OFF BITCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Adam calling Blue a raging feminist like do boys not know that this is a complement like yes this is the angle i am going for thanks for noticing

- Gansey and Blue’s first drive together #i #am #emo

- “Jane, in this light you... Jesus. Jesus. I’ve got to get my head straight.” MURDER ME

- When Adam woke up at fox way after being asleep for 24 hours or whatever he drank four glasses for pomegranate juice and three cups of tea and then left in the span of ten minutes. i know sometimes these kids act like they are 50 years old but....this is a teenage boy 

- “It was against Ronan’s nature to appear overly interested in anything.” HES SO EXTRA 

- Grey man: “But it wasn’t personal.” Ronan: “It. Was. To. Me.” :((((((((((( also i’m pretty sure neil josten said the same thing to that police officer one time i love parallels. 

- “when ronan thought of gansey, he thought moving into monmouth manufacturing, of nights spent in companionable insomnia, of a summer searching for a king, of gansey asking for the grey man for his life. Brothers.” kill. me. 

- kavinsky dying #goodshit 

#the raven cycle #pynch #bluesey #trc #adam parrish #ronan lynch #gansey #blue sargent #noah czerny #trc edit #BLLB IS NEXT IM SO EXCITED TO RE READ #anyways here u go nerds