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Artistic Instinct: Chapter 6

Header thanks to the lovely @yespolkadotkitty

Summary: Marcus Pike and OC Anushka Pierce have been selected to work on a 5 eyes (Australia, Canada, NZ, the UK and US) intelligence team to track down art forgeries as a part of taking down an international white terrorism cell. Marcus is trying to escape his broken heart, Anushka is just trying to escape what the world expects of her.

Word count: 6200 (yup, the words ran away from me!)

Warnings: Language, mention of death.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x reader (OC)

This comes with a MASSIVE THANK YOU to the lovely @yespolkadotkitty , who read, re-read, pointed out the constant flipping between tenses and gave me the confidence to try to write something!This is the first thing I have written since angsty poetry as a teenager. Apologies if it is shit!

To an untrained eye, need and love are as easily mistaken for each other as the real master's painting and a forgery.

Deb Caletti

Chapter 6

A low lit room- more fitting of an old jail than an art lock up- surrounds you with cool air that tickles the tiny hairs on the back of your bare neck, as you bend over double, digging through the equipment in the abyss of your bag. A gap forms between the waist of your jeans and t-shirt, revealing the tiniest bit of the lace edging from your bra band- a tantalising fact that catches Marcus’ breath, alerting you to his presence, “Hey, you ok?” you ask straightening up, “Did you find something?”

“Yeah, uh sorry. Think I just had a bit of dust in my throat,” Marcus stammers, utterly thrown by that glimpse of your underwear, as he tries to clear his throat and remember the reason he was standing in front of you, “So, uh, yeah, um- we found a couple of signatures from Paul Guillaume and Albert C Barnes- weren’t they the guys we had to look out for?”

Looking over the papers with your cotton gloves still on, you pour over the shaping of the letters that made up the signatures of the possible previous owners, “I dunno. I’m not convinced- the positioning of the letters seem odd- like a crude rendition of someone’s signature. Almost like someone’s faking their mum’s signature to get out of PE class. Only the thing is, you know the movement of your mum’s hand as she signs something because you’ve watched her do it a million times before. Those signatures do not seem real to me, personally.”

Marcus’ eyebrows raise as he crosses his arms, desperately trying to hide the smile that was creeping across his face. “You faked your mom’s signature a lot?”

“Poacher turned gamekeeper,” Élodie remarks as she crosses between the two of you, straightening your t-shirt up where it has caught upon the back of your jeans.

Marcus tries not to let his disappointment show. Calm down, Pike, you’re hardly a horny seventeen year old. But that was how you made him feel and certainly the uncomfortable pressure building in his jeans might prove otherwise.

“I don’t think we will necessarily manage to get this solved today,” you begin, “The section that Élodie looked at dates it reasonably within the time period but those signatures are now tingling my spidey senses. It’s probably going to need to be sent for further investigations at a proper lab. I’m about to look at it using the stereomicroscope- do you want to have a look with me?”

Marcus nods eagerly, earning a grin from you, and you start setting up the pieces you need- ensuring that the video camera is linked to your iPad so Marcus can see everything you are looking at in real time along with you.

Marcus drifts closer to the painting. You haven’t seemed to notice his closeness yet, and he half hopes you don't, as from where he’s standing the aromatically pleasing scent of your shampoo wafts dreamily from the dark shimmer of your hair.

“So tell me more about this piece. I love listening to you speaking about art. You make it seem like I’m looking over the artist’s shoulder as they’re painting it.” Marcus remarks, smiling when he notices the flush creeping over your cheeks that his words bring.

Impressed by your decision to play into his words rather than focus on how awkward you feel at the compliment, he loves how you fan yourself and flutter your eyelashes at him, “Monsieur, you flatter me! Well, looking at this piece it’s not difficult to imagine that Soutine may have had a longstanding beef with food. Though he was fascinated by food and frequently painted these edible arrangements, this stands as one of his most memorable and dare I say, raw interpretations.”

At these terrible puns, Marcus pretends to drum, “Ba da boom tish!”

“Do not encourage her!” Jacques shouts from the other side of the room where he is labeling the bags for the slide samples that Élodie had been collecting, “Once you acknowledge one pun, she’ll ensure that everything she says has one. Queen Nush of the dad jokes!”

“So at the meat of Soutine’s obsession,” Marcus half-snorts, half-groans, intending to encourage you as you add, “You find that a combination of not having anything to eat due to extreme poverty and using what food the family did have to practice Kosher traditions is largely to blame for his playing with his food rather than eating it.”

Marcus watches you flick through your phone so as not to interrupt the finally clear feed from the stereomicroscope focussing on how you bite your lip. You quickly google the Rembrandt that you want him to look at. “The remains of this omnivorous…”

“Oh you’re still gonna continue with that theme, yeah?” Marcus’ feels his lips curve at your humour, shaking his head at the ridiculous word play.

“Oh, I can keep this going all day,” you say with the cheekiest of winks, and Marcus hopes you will.

*****

“Omnivorous obsession,” you continue, “was based on his adoration of Rembrandt whose 1655 Flayed Ox was frequently salivated over by Soutine on his regular visits to the Louvre. Rembrandt’s carcass is noted for its vivid colors but when compared to Soutine’s, which was coated almost daily with fresh buckets of blood by his assistant, Rembrandt seems downright dull. The smell of rotting beef and fresh blood became so oppressive that neighbours called the police, who almost threw away the fermenting flesh before, what I can only assume was the Frankenstein-esque assistant, shooed them away like so many flies covering a carcass.”

“Always with the focus on the graphic elements of art,” Jacques calls out with a snort at your zombie-like impression before receiving a sharp nudge to his ribs to focus on the job Élodie has asked him to complete.

“Art is just a reflection of the things that humanity finds interesting and what can be more interesting to a temporal being than their own mortality or that of the creatures and objects that surround it?” At this statement, you tug Marcus’ coat sleeve away from the piece to come and look at the feed you have set up for him, “Come on you, we’d better focus or Élodie will have my guts for garters for not concentrating on what I should be doing!”

Marcus allows you to lead him over to a black metal folding chair to look at the feed, “So what are we looking for, Mademoiselle Pathologist?”

“Hah, did you just call her mademoiselle? She’s too old for that!” Élodie shouts in your direction.

Refusing to respond verbally to Élodie’s rudeness, you flick a finger up at her and turn back to Marcus, “Madame Pathologist will do- I am comfortable with my age. So what we are looking for are any bits of difficult to detect damage, fading, repairs and the ways paints and other coatings are distributed. Also if there are any strange fibres that we can spot using the double lens.”

Hovering the microscope over the bottom left hand corner, you start to scan the piece, “So what we’re looking for are any irregularities that we might not have picked up on a first scan that Élodie did to take the samples. The stereomicroscope helps us to understand the art in more 3D terms- so we can see something that generally looks flat becomes a landscape of hills and valleys.”

“Why’ve you chosen that corner to start?” Marcus probed inquisitively, wondering as to whether there’s method in your madness.

“Just felt like it!” You shrug and snort at his look of mock horror. “Nah, it’s where the signature is and ‘cos I’m not sure about the signatures on those documents you found, I want to take a closer look at Soutine’s over here. Kinda feels like a sensible place to start.” Your eyes squint as you drink in the images in front of you, snapping up when you hear a small grunt of consternation from your boss, “Have you found something, Marcus?”

“That’s weird. It kind of looks like the signature has been scratched into the art,” Marcus squints at the signature on the screen, reaching over to the table where the possible documents with Guillaume and Barnes’ scrawls lie, “Also, I am not an expert in graphology but the letter e looks consistent across the three names- they all arch at the same point.”

“Waouh- that’s a good catch,” Élodie agrees, pulling Jacques with her to look over Marcus’ shoulder at the finds upon the feed.

Jacques escapes Élodie’s clutch and starts to flit back and forth, checking between the painting and the feed with a mild look of confusion on his face, “This is preposterous. Why have they done the signature in a different medium to the one used to paint it? It’s almost like they want to be caught.”

“It looks like it has been lacerated by a needle,” Marcus scratches at his patchy beard in astonishment, “Spot on Jacques, it’s like they can’t even be bothered to hide their tracks.”

“Ok, I think we may have found one of our fakes,” a smile slowly creeps across your face, “Obviously, we can’t be definite -there are still so many tests that need to be done but I don’t think this is an original,” you shake your head with a half smile, “Élodie, I think we need to organise for this to be couriered back to the labs.”

An excited squeal from Élodie and a soft oof from Jacques puncture the cool air as she flies into his arms, squeezing him in sheer delight. As the pair embrace with joy, you and Marcus are left there- Marcus on the fold out chair, gripping the iPad tighter than necessary- I swear that man never quite knows what do with his hands- and you sitting cross legged on the floor with the stereomicroscope lying in your lap- grinning like idiots at each other.

✪✪✪✪✪

More coffee and cakes are devoured in the aftermath whilst you await a courier to come and pick up the likely forgery- you are not entirely sure that the blood in your body hasn’t entirely transformed into sugar and caffeine at this point. After checking alongside Élodie that the painting had been carefully loaded into a van, you sit next to her on the pavement outside the auction house.

“Do you know where Marcus and Jacques are?” you question as you sink onto the dusty ground next to her.

“Yeah, they’re inside taking an informal statement from the auction house owner before the local police quiz her properly,” Élodie rests her temple to your shoulder, “Today has been wonderful. I really like Marcus - from what I have seen of him. I think this will be a good move for you.”

“I do miss having you here though. Today feels like the first time I have had both of my arms. Since you returned to London, it has felt like a part of me has been missing.”

Hauling a deep breath into your lungs to try to quell that gnawing ache in your belly, you turn to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head, “I am sorry, El. To be honest, I don’t even know where to start explaining what happened or even truly understand how everything fell apart so badly.”

The mountain wind decides to blow an icy gust that cuts through your clothes to the bones of you, “It was a normal undercover job- we’d been watching the comings and goings of the gang from a inside a local greasy spoon for ages-just trying to get a clear idea of what their patterns of behaviour were and it just all went South so quickly.

“Being a tiny caff on an industrial estate by the Thames, it was open 24 hours and the day it happened, it was during the middle of a night shift when the gang decided to up the ante. They’d obviously clocked that we weren’t exactly who we said we were,” you snort softly at the memory, “I mean Jas’ accent was a bit sus for being a short order cook but still.

“The gang openly marched the illegal immigrants out of the container and made them kneel in front of the caff as a lure to us, trying to get us to drop our cover. These fucking innocents just trying to find a better life and the evil fuckers just started executing them- one after the other. Jas just ran out there straight away- dropping his cover without any proper back up, a flak jacket or anything. His stupid, kind self trying to save at least one of them without a backward glance.

“I said the code word so we could have armed back up within minutes but I knew it wouldn’t be there quickly enough,” your voice starts to falter as your throat tightens over the words.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, chouchou,” Élodie squeezes the thigh nearest to her.

“I know but I should tell someone, somewhen. You’re probably one of the few who would understand.”

You pause, squeezing your eyes tight shut as you allow that stagnant, putrid box of memories to reopen, flooding your senses with the foul gangrenous smell of the past.

Having called in backup, you make the decision to slip out of the back door of the caff and run for cover behind the large communal bins. The incessant rain was giving zero sign of stopping and the noise was deafening as it bounced off the metal sides and drummed upon the tarmacked surface. You could barely hear the desperate negotiations that Jasper was trying to make for the lives of these poor, exploited humans.

From here, hiding amongst the shadows, you could catch the eye of one of the kneeling men and signal to him as to when he should try to make a run over to you. He’d reached his little finger out to the person to his right to alert them to the plan. Achingly slowly, tiny gestures had passed down the line of five remaining fellows, from person to person, notifying them of your presence and how you were attempting to save them.

You counted them down and then screamed for them to run. Gunshots rang throughout the air as they made a break for the supposed safety of the bins by you as blue lights and sirens swirled, announcing their arrival between the shipping containers. You counted them as they ran for their lives past you.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

But the gunshots…

Jasper.

As you ran to your former partner’s lifeless form, three more shots rang through the air, taking out the associates who’d been ruthlessly gunning down their illegal chattel. Jasper lay there in the harsh headlight of the armed response unit car, his apron and chef’s jacket were no longer the starchy white that glowed under the strip lighting of the kitchen but his skin had taken on a similar pallid tone as his life force pooled around him, staining the oily surface with a bloody bloom. Knelt there with the grit from the floor biting into the skin of your knees, you held his head in your lap, stroking his cold cheek as a shadow cast across you both.

“He’s gone, Nush.”

Tears course down your face in tiny rivulets and spill into Élodie’s hair, “If I had said yes at Fourvière. If I had accepted the position St Vincent had offered me, he’d still be here. He would still be here.”

After putting a hand on each cheek, Élodie then taps you upon the nose making your red-rimmed, watery eyes look into hers, “You didn’t shoot the gun. You didn’t kill him,” she says so matter of fact that you almost feel an inclination to believe her, “You have to stop blaming yourself at some point.”

“He made the decision to go out there without back up or any protection. If I remember correctly, it was Jas’ decision to head back to London too, effectively ending the freedom you had out here,” she adds gravely, “Everyone has to make decisions, Nush. Ours just tend to have more life or death outcomes and remember, the choice you made- you saved five people.

“As for marrying him, you didn’t want to and I don’t know quite how to clearly say this but you don’t have to marry someone because they ask you. Or because you think it’s the right thing to do. You saying no to him, had zero implications in how his life ended,” Élodie smooths a tendril of hair that has escaped your plait behind your ear, “Your relationship didn’t have a true balance because you spent so long trying to hide it- everything feels so much more amplified if you are constantly watching your coattails.”

Rubbing the exhaustion from the onslaught of emotions from your eyes, you turn to face Élodie, “What if that’s it? What if that was my chance of happiness?”

“Okay so you’re now fully in the ridiculous territory, idiot! So bloody naive,” Élodie rolls her eyes and slaps your knee, “ There’s no one person out there- nobody is perfect for you. There are just people who enter your life at different times and there is a certain compatibility…”

“Like you might want to jump their bones,” you giggle through the snot.

“Yep, that definitely helps! But after a while, other stuff comes up and again, you have to make those decisions whether you want to move to the next one or work at the relationship you have,” Élodie says frankly, “ Your first proper grown up relationship wasn’t ever truly allowed to develop into something normal and healthy but please don’t ever think for a second that is all you deserve or will ever get.”

“More happened than just Jasper’s death,” you confide in your ally.

“I know sweetheart. You tell me when you are ready,” Élodie pats your leg, “You will always have Jacques and I here for you. And I reckon Pierre would take you back in a heartbeat if you ever need to escape Marcus, not that I think you will.” You feel a little confused by Élodie’s last statement but don’t have time to swell upon it as the door to the auction house swings open.

Noticing two figures- one wiry and talking rapidly with his hands, the other broad and showing great interest in what the other has to say- walking towards you, you offer Élodie a hand up from your pavement seat. You feel a gentle hand brushing over your bottom and crane your neck to see who it belongs to, “Well, I’d hate for you to make my car any dirtier,” Élodie winks at you.

✪✪✪✪✪

The trip back to Lyon didn’t allow for any more rest for tired eyes against cool car windows. Excited chatter filled the car as between the four of you, you were all busily beavering away from making shouted calls to the science laboratories in Interpol- calling in favours to get your samples tested first- to fingers tapping on screens, flinging emails back to offices trying to inform everyone who needed to know. Although the journey was far longer, it felt as though five minutes had passed from the moment you’d left the auction house- the exhaustion from your disclosure to Élodie giving way to the adrenaline pumping through your veins with the excitement of having found a piece of the puzzle.

Jacques quickly parks in the Interpol car park, where you all pile out of the car, heading back towards the offices. As you walk together, you hear Marcus answer the phone to Andy back in London, filling him in on the events of the day- thankfully leaving out the parts where he’d talked you through a panic attack or accidentally held hands with him.

You didn’t need anyone else in the London offices thinking you were unprofessional. There were enough of those already.

Marcus. So much of the fear has ebbed away about the new role, and in such little time, thanks to your new boss. This straight-speaking American, who makes you speak up and want to stand up a bit taller. For the first time in what felt like forever, work doesn’t feel like a chore to pay the bills for a small, damp flat in South London. It isn’t so much the work as you know that like the back of your hand- it was that feeling of appreciation.

That feeling that someone sees what you can offer and values your contributions- not just as some rookie in an established office but as an equal. You know you are lucky- you get to use all the knowledge from your art history degree (oh how your family had groaned in consternation- doctor or lawyer- those were the proper options. Y’know, a proper career path not something seen as being so wishy-washy) and use it to protect the beauty of art from the shadier underbelly. Not that you could ever explain that part to your mum or her sisters, who just thought you were in some IT job with ridiculous hours.

In fact, it was the first time. You’d worked your way up from being a rookie with Stephens and although you'd got to work in a field with which you had a borderline obsession, you were still always seen as the new kid, even though others came and went after you’d joined and that got a bit wearing, especially when you’d hit your thirties and as you edged ever closer to your forties, it had bordered on the ridiculous.

But Marcus. He didn’t just listen to what you had to say, he positively encouraged you to speak- never expecting you to hold your tongue or wait for the “grown ups” to stop talking.

“Hey, Earth to Anushka,” those ridiculously warm eyes try to call your attention into focus.

“Sorry, heard you on the phone to Andy and took the opportunity to disappear with my thoughts for a bit. It’s been a bit of a day, hasn’t it?” you mutter as the knuckles of your hands almost rub holes in your eye sockets.

“Yeah, I thought we’d find zip on our first check as a team but that was something else,” Marcus nods, pouting his lips in thought, “I honestly thought it was an authentic piece when I found those signatures- just shows how careful we have to be with these crooks.

“You look about ready to collapse- that sleep on the way over, not help? I was about to ask if you fancied grabbing some dinner together but you’re dead on your feet.”

“Didn’t really get much sleep last night. Was kind of dreading what today would bring but,” your hand extends to squeeze Marcus’ forearm, “But you’ve made today far less painful than it could have been.” You feel a warmth creep through you, blooming from the spot where Marcus has placed his hand on top of yours, his thumb unconsciously tracing small circles upon your skin.

“How about a slow walk back to the hotel, we grab some pizza on the way back and sit and watch Sharknado 4 this evening?” you suggest, still not removing your hand from his arm, ”I need to eat something other than breakfast pastries today.”

“Hmmm, I would say that dinner is the best time for breakfast food but yeah, probably best that we find something a bit more substantial,” Marcus relents reluctantly like a petulant child as Élodie and Jacques turn towards you both.

“Oh, why the sad eyes, Marcus? Has she been mean to you? ” Élodie teases, “We have contacts- we can make her disappear…”

Jacques shoots you a despairing look from under his arched eyebrow. The aching sadness returns in your tummy- you’ve missed them so much and missed out on so many special moments with them, “Oof, hey Nush! This isn’t goodbye- no matter the threats Élodie makes upon your life!”

Élodie leans in to sandwich you between the pair of them, “No, Marcus has given me your phone number and your email address- and he has promised me that even if you don’t respond to my communications, that he will send regular updates.” You look over at Marcus, who sends you a sheepish grin and a slight shrug of his shoulders, flashing that goddamn dimple in his right cheek.

“Élodie, are you going upstairs to get everything ready?” Jacques questions his wife, “ There’s only twenty minutes before I need to pick up Xavier from my parents so I’d probably better head off. Can you grab a taxi home afterwards? Nush, I love you and I will see you soon.

“Marcus, it has been a pleasure. I will ensure that all the details are shared with you in London. Let’s keep the lines of communication open between us, oui?” A firm handshake was not the only thing to pass between the men, as Jacques pats Marcus on the back and they wordlessly share a thought, Marcus’ eyes flickering back to you with a small smile.

“Come on, let’s find food and a film before we collapse,” Marcus beckons you towards him with a wave back to Élodie and Jacques before they head off in their respective directions, Élodie’s hand stroking yours as she walks away.

✪✪✪✪✪

Half an hour later, you find yourself standing barefoot outside Marcus’ hotel room door, oddly nervous about knocking. Your hair hangs in waves around your shoulders, still holding some of the twisted kinks that the plaits you wore it in had formed over the course of the day, face scrubbed but you are second guessing your choice of wearing pjs to your new boss’ room. Not that they were in any way indecent- just a good old pair of cotton jammies from M&S and you’d kept your bra on underneath, because not even the worst war criminal deserves to be tortured by the sight of you with your bra off. Just as you were about to head back for a hoodie to perhaps offer an ounce more decency, the door swung open and a slightly surprised look adorns Marcus’ face.

“Hey, I was just about to check where you were. Pizza’s getting cold and you should probably have something warm in your belly that isn’t coffee today!”

“Oh, I was just going to swing back to my room for a hoodie,” you awkwardly mutter in the direction of the deliciously soft looking man, wearing grey joggers and a white t-shirt in front of you.

A small pout crosses Marcus’ lips, “Come on, if you’re chilly, the pizza’ll warm you up but if you’re still cold after eating, you can grab one of mine- that is if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” he checks by lowering his eyes and gently lifting your chin.

Deciding not to keep the pizza waiting, you nod and shuffle past Marcus, the plush carpet deliciously soft underfoot, “I haven’t forgotten that we were halfway through a conversation this morning when El and Jacques arrived to pick us up. You want to tell me why you don’t feel like you are where you feel you should be?” you don’t look at Marcus as you ask him, picking the olives off the top of your pizza.

“I thought you said you like olives?” Marcus questions confusedly as he grabs a slice himself.

“Oh I do, but I’ll eat them afterwards as I like to savour them by themselves,” you giggle at your weird pizza eating habits, “Was that a wish to evade the question? Would you prefer to put on a film?”

“Hah, no! You’re full of quirks, y’know? It’s cute,” he mumbles through a mouthful of food.

“Cute?” you raise an eyebrow at this affectionate comment, “Eh, I dunno. I don’t think you can get to almost forty without embracing your quirks at some point.”

“I just hoped that by this point I’d be married with 2.4 kids, a dog and a nice house. Y’know, settled- never taking it for granted, obviously but comfortable with a family,” there’s a flicker of pain that passes through Marcus’ eyes as he speaks and it cuts through you like a knife.

“How on Earth are you not in a long term relationship with a lucky person? From what you’ve shown me over the past two days, you’re kind, considerate and thoughtful- although you should never tease a woman about her supposed snoring,” you pull an ugly face at him, sticking your tongue out and wrinkling your nose to diffuse the tension in his forehead, forcing him to laugh.

“Oh, I was married once and had long term relationships but neither worked out, sadly,” Marcus shrugs, focussing intently on his next pizza slice, “Can’t the same thing be said about you? You’re a beautiful, funny and intelligent woman and although you are a menace to yourself and those around you with a coffee cup in your hands, I don’t get why you haven’t been snapped up.”

Grabbing the pizza box and Marcus’ hand- pulling them both towards your room, you say, “Come with me.”

Thrusting the pizza box towards his hands, you put the keycard in the door and the light flickers to green. Guiding Marcus by the food container through the room to the balcony, you swing the French doors open to be greeted by a stiff Alpine air and the twinkling lights of Lyon spreading towards you.

“As you know from today, I was here in Lyon before. My partner and I were seconded here to work alongside Interpol on an art smuggling case- that’s how I knew El, Jacques, Pierre and everyone else from this morning’s meeting. We weren’t just work partners, we’d been hiding a romantic relationship for just over a decade in London as we knew that our supervisors wouldn’t allow us to continue to work together,” you clear your throat and see a flash of concern from Marcus seeing how much your hands were trembling.

He reaches for your hand with the lightest of touches grazing your ring and little fingers but not letting go.

Drawing a deep breath, you continue, “You see the beautiful cathedral up there- Fourviere?” you catch Marcus giving a gentle nod as he looks in the direction of your hand, the one he’s not holding, “Jasper asked me to marry him up there. And I, um… I said no.” Your eyes guiltily shift to the left after owning up to your shoddy track record.

“I mean, I did love him but I couldn’t offer him what he wanted or needed from life or from me. We’d hidden too long in the shadows and the thought of trying to explain everything to our families, to our friends, to our workplace was just too overwhelming. I had a lot more to lose than him.

“As you said earlier, our work is very much an old boys network and as a mixed race woman against a white man- who’d got his position due to a bit of nepotism as his uncle was our London boss- I stood to lose so much more. I have always had to work harder and to be a more impressive candidate to be taken as seriously as any white man in the room.”

“Had we returned to London as a married couple, there would have been so many unspoken questions about when we would think about having babies so there’d never be a chance of going any higher for me. And although seeing El and Jacques today- they have it so balanced. El was telling me that they split her maternity leave equally and that even now their baby is one, they have flexi working times so although they have such a little one and such intense jobs, they can still be there for bedtimes and neither of them be sidelined. But I know that’s not how it would have worked with us. Jas would have worked full time and I would have been a simmering pot of resentment.”

You notice that despite your confession that Marcus still hasn’t stopped holding your hand and regardless of the evening chill, warmth spreads through you at the thought that you haven’t entirely repulsed him with your actions.

“Where is he now? DId he ask for a transfer when you headed back?” Marcus gently questions.

“He took the ultimate transfer. We were working together undercover and he was shot multiple times trying to save some people from being murdered,” with a small shrug, you take your hand back from Marcus despite the comfort it is bringing you and cover your face. As you do so, he pulls you towards him, holding you tightly into his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.

With a gentle push back from his broad chest but without leaving his arms completely, you tilt your face up at him, “In fact, other than Jas’ death the bitterest pill was me being transferred out of the department. As you can probably imagine, a lot of shit went down after that night and a lot of the blame from it was laid at my door. Whilst it was all happening, I wasn’t allowed to have any contact with work colleagues and of course, your family can only know so much of what’s going on when you follow our line of work.

“So, I spent eight months in a stupid kind of limbo- being paid full whack whilst sitting at home, mourning a man who I’d been with for a quarter of my life but didn’t want to marry.” Shaking your head slowly, you continue, “That’s why I was a bit of a mess today- I kind of dreaded seeing everyone and how they might blame me for everything that happened with Jas.”

“Shit, I’m sorry sweetheart,” with that affectionate nickname confidently trickling from Marcus’ lips, you look up and smile broadly at him, “I am sorry that you went through all that. I have to be honest, as I am a terrible liar- there is a part of me that is glad that our paths have overlapped- I just wish it could be under happier circumstances.”

“No,” you pat him upon his chest, “You don’t get to our age without some kind of baggage and in our occupation, it’s hard for most people to understand our commitment to our job.”

“Hah, you can say that again- that’s what ended my marriage. That and her new partner,” you scrunch your face in consideration of Marcus’ pain, your thumbs rubbing back and forth, “And the failed engagement is what brought me to London- kept seeing her and the man she left me for around the DC offices.”

“Let’s go toast to those ghosts and our converging paths with what will be now a very warm bottle of white wine and cold pizza,” with eyes widening in amusement you smile at him, your hands still on his chest and his hands on your back, “But indoors as it is fucking freezing out here, no matter how pretty it is.”

“Agreed,” Marcus chuckles deeply, moving his hands to rub some warmth back into your arms.

“Just going to grab a hoodie,” you call over your shoulder as you go back into your bedroom. As you rummage through your bag, you miss the flicker of disappointment on Marcus’s face that he wouldn’t get to smell your perfume on his clothes.

✪✪✪✪✪

“Hey,” that beautifully soft baritone meltingly drifted up from the sofa in Marcus’ room, “Comfy now? I hope you don’t mind but I chose Casablanca instead of Sharknado 4.”

As you cross the floor in socked feet to try and thaw them out from your balcony adventure, you shake your head with a lopsided smile, “Not ok,” but to put Marcus’ raised eyebrow at ease, you add, “It’s my favourite - but you’d better have tissues at the ready as it will make me a snotty mess.”

“Already prepared,” he holds a tissue box aloft, “It does the same to me too.”

Instead of sitting at the other end of the sofa, you grab a glass of wine from the table and slide into Marcus’ side- half sitting up, half leaning against him. He reaches over, pulling your head onto his shoulder, stroking your hair away from your face and there you stay, comfortably curled into his side. Not for the hour and three quarters of the film, but until rays of spring sunshine filter through the blinds the following morning.

Tag list of glory: If you’d like to be added or dropped from the tag list or have any thoughts, thots or suggestions, please do get in touch! I don’t bite hard 🥰

@astroboots @silverwolf319 @lunaserenade @danniburgh @leonieb @mrsparknuts @sirowsky @yespolkadotkitty @agirllovespancakes @tardisfangurl @zukoyonce @absurdthirst @green-socks @pedropascalito @disgruntledspacedad @mouthymandalorian @the-ginger-hedge-witch @lv7867 @songsformonkeys

#josé pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal#ppascaledit #the mentalist #the mentalist fanfic #marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x oc reader

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lady-divine-writes · 3 years

Text

Good Omens one-shot - “Wrong Address” (Rated NC17)

Summary: Since Aziraphale won't let his demon come over during lockdown, Crowley decides to send him a special gift. It doesn't work out quite the way he planned...

... but that might turn out to be an unexpected blessing. (1655 words)

Read on AO3.

"Anthony J Crowley! Did you send me a care package?"

"Yes, indeedy, angel," Crowley admits, a smug smile tugging his lips up at the corners. He reclines in his throne, phone pressed to his ear, staring out his windows in the direction of his angel's shop, beaming at the smile in Aziraphale's voice.

"What a wonderful surprise! This has positively made my day! Whatever made you think of it?"

"Well, when you mentioned finding those cookbooks in your shop, you sounded so damned happy, I wanted to see if I could top it even if you won't let me come over so I can watch you eat your tasty creations... " Crowley mutters on the finish, still bitter at his angel's reluctance to bend the rules, especially since those rules shouldn't apply to them. There's no way either of them can get sick! "So when I saw this online, I thought it could be a way for me to be a part of your culinary journey."

"How very thoughtful of you," Aziraphale says apologetically. He's not trying to hurt Crowley. He would love nothing more than to have him slither over and share a crumpet or two.

But angels assigned to Earth stations are meant to be role models. What he does, he does for appearance's sake.

He must lead by example.

Though, to be honest, it's quite annoying being penned in like this for the good of mankind when humans can't see fit to sit on their arses for a few months until this whole virus bother blows over.

"So... " Crowley nudges as an expectant silence falls between them, each waiting for the other's next move.

"Indeed! Don't keep me in suspense!" Aziraphale says, rubbing his palms together. "What's inside?"

Crowley rolls his eyes. Like he's going to set up this whole surprise and then just spill the beans! "You won't know until you open it, will you?"

"Oh! You want me to open it now then? With you on the phone?"

"That's wot I was hoping. I want to hear your reaction. You know, since I can't be there and all."

"Okay. Give me a moment. I need to find a letter opener or a box cutter or... or something... "

Crowley sinks further into his seat, closes his eyes, and makes himself comfortable. Knowing Aziraphale and his unique organizational system, this could take a while. But listening to his angel hum as he roots through his desk drawers relaxes him. Crowley finds himself drifting off, lulled by the sounds of Aziraphale simply being Aziraphale. But he can't let himself get too cozy. It would be a shame if he knocked out and missed Aziraphale digging into his gift.

Crowley considers snapping his fingers and giving his angel a hand with the packing tape when he hears a dull pop! and a triumphant, "Success!" Unpacking noises follow - the crumpling of paper wrap being pulled apart, amplified through Crowley's phone, then a giggle that falls somewhere between nervousness and confusion. "Oh! Uh... "

Crowley sits up straight, peering into the distance as if he could see what Aziraphale sees from Mayfair if he tries hard enough. "Wot? Wot's going on?"

"I... I don't know how you intend on me making a meal with what's in this box. Or are you punishing me because I won't let you come over? That would be unnecessarily hurtful, even for a demon."

"Why?" Crowley springs up and stalks over to the glass, addressing the greying treetops below. "Wot'sss in the box?"

"Don't you know?" Aziraphale teases when he starts to suspect this as an honest mishap and not a ploy by his demon.

"Obviousssly I don't!"

"Let's sort through the contents together then, shall we?" Aziraphale reaches into the box, pulling out items one by one. "We have here a pair of silky black knickers. I think these would suit you more than me, my dear."

"You think so?" Crowley asks, annoyance replaced in an instant by intrigue over his angel's impression of him.

"Oh, yes. I think they'd be most flattering on you. And here we have something called a Ben Wa ball, some... " Aziraphale clears his throat before he owns up to the next one "... anal beads... "

Crowley snickers, more at Aziraphale's tight tone than the item itself.

"... a Do Not Disturb sign with an illustration on it that’s anything but subtle, and an object I can only describe as a gel-filled self-pleasuring device. Oh... this one needs refrigeration."

Crowley's mouth goes dry, his imagination running wild with that description, trying to conjure a vision in his head of what such a thing might look like, and where it would go, especially cold. He presses a hot palm to the glass and shivers involuntarily. "Oh my... "

"You sound surprised. Is this not what you ordered, dear?"

"No!" Crowley squeaks. Aziraphale stifles a chuckle when his voice cracks. "No, I didn't," Crowley repeats, fighting for composure while the rest of him itches to bust through the window, unfurl his wings, and fly to his angel.

He could probably make it to him before the first splinter of glass hits the pavement.

But no.

Boundaries.

Aziraphale's determination to not have Crowley over is about more than protocol. Crowley knows this. Angel set up boundaries. And even though his reasons for doing so are ludicrous, Crowley needs to respect them. "Is there a company name on the box?"

"Let me check." Aziraphale mumbles as he searches the package for a name. "This end up, handle with care... here it is! Tantalize Me - the premium adult date night mystery box. Ooo! That sounds interesting! Do you think there could be a murder to sort out in all of this?"

"I don't think that's what they mean by mystery, angel," Crowley says, hearing Aziraphale dive back into the box.

"A-ha! I think I've found the problem."

"And that is... ?"

"I'm afraid this package was meant to go to another bookshop on my same block. It's entirely possible they may have my box."

"I think you learned some information about your competition that you maybe didn't want to know."

"Yes, I suppose I did."

Crowley sighs. "But now I feel like a heel."

"Why is that?"

"I promised you a meal and I didn't deliver."

"Pun intended?" Aziraphale asks with a snort.

"Not," Crowley replies, less than amused.

"I don't think you can be blamed for a mix-up with the post, my dear."

"Bet I can... " Crowley says, thoughts shuffling back to that awful Horizon IT scandal he lazily threw together that went, unfortunately, better than he'd planned.

"There is one thing to eat in here."

"Really?" Crowley grumbles, turning away from the glass and leaning his back against it, an intense chill seeping through his clothes and into his skin, its sting matching his rapidly fouling mood. "What's that?"

"A tube of personal lubricant. And it's chocolate flavored!" Crowley's eyes widen when he hears the telltale snap of a flip-top lid opening, followed by a wet squelch. "Mmm. It's not half bad."

"Are you actually eating that?" Crowley asks breathlessly.

"Only a little. I licked it off my finger."

Crowley fumbles his phone, catching it before it crashes to the floor. "A---Aziraphale... "

"Listen to this! It says on the label that it tingles with body heat. Isn't that interesting?"

Crowley's eyelids flutter shut and he swallows hard, his entire body becoming a solid, throbbing ache. Aziraphale doesn't have body heat. Not all that much. But as a demon, Crowley is full of Hellfire. What would it feel like to have his angel spread that lube on him, press his body against him with his skin tingling like crazy? Jesus Christ! "Aziraphale... "

"Whatever is the matter, my dear?"

"Nothing. Except now I think you're punishing me."

"Carl and Tish Lloyd are probably expecting their package. They must have some big plans. I should send it on its way," Aziraphale suggests with infuriating rationale. "Shouldn't I?"

"Th---that wouldn't be good form!" a desperate Crowley argues. "You've already opened it! And sampled it! You can't give it to them in that condition!"

"That is true. That wouldn't be very neighborly. But what to do with it? That's the question... " Aziraphale wonders while Crowley dies inside, a moan trapped in his throat struggling to break free every time he thinks about Aziraphale licking chocolate-flavored lube off his fingers. "Did you want to... uh... try a bit? Of the chocolate goo, I mean?"

"Are you going to ship it over?"

"I guess I could do that," Aziraphale muses. "But who's to say it will get there? What with the post office making such tragic errors. No. I think there's only one way we can ensure that you get your fair share."

Crowley's brow furrows, his brain cluttered with mixed signals. "Are you asking me... ? Can I come over?"

"I have some conditions."

"Name them," Crowley says, prepared to bolt the second Aziraphale gives him the go-ahead.

"You can come over only if you can make it here without being seen. No giving the humans irresponsible ideas. I know that's your job, but I can't be a party to that. Deal?"

"Deal." A snap of his fingers and a second later, Crowley snatches the tube of lubricant out of Aziraphale's hand. He takes Aziraphale's right wrist gingerly in his grasp, squeezes a dollop of lube on it, then licks it slowly off, amber eyes locking on his angel's blue gaze. Aziraphale's whole body shudders from a single swipe of his tongue, Crowley's tastebuds tingling on the finish. He licks his lips, depositing a thin layer of the lube, which fires across his skin like firecrackers. He sees his angel tremble, sees the white glow of lust in his eyes, and he grins.

Crowley is about to enjoy the best meal of his life.

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #ineffable lovers #azirapahle #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale

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starwrite · 2 years

Text

star’s rules/byf/dni

please read this entire page before interacting

rules:

✦ NO MINORS OR AGELESS BLOGS ALLOWED. interacting with me and not having your age in your bio or pinned post will get you an automatic block.

✦ i will not write romantic or n. sfw scenarios for a character if they are not canonically 18+. i don’t write “aged up” characters. platonic requests for characters under 18 are ok.

✦ i am neurodivergent, so i’d appreciate if you tone indicators if you’re joking/being sarcastic, especially if it’s your first time interacting/messaging/commenting. i don’t need them most of the time, so use them as you see fit.

✦ do not repost my works on any website/app (ex: wattpad, ao3, tiktok, etc).

✦ dni if you are a terf. i’m literally trans why are you here.

requests/asks:

✦ i take requests! this blog is super self-indulgent, but i’d love to hear other people’s ideas to get inspiration.

✦ that being said, i can’t guarantee that every request will be written, and i can’t guarantee that they will be written quickly.

✦ feel free to chat with me about sfw and n. sfw topics.

✦ so far, i only write for jujutsu kaisen. there’s a lot of anime/manga i like, but i’m not sure if i’ll write for other fandoms in the future.

will NOT write:

minor x adult, underage, r*pe/n*ncon, inc*st, st*pcest, scat, foot f*tish, impact play (negotiable on where and how much), pregnancy/pregnant reader, bimbo reader, pet play

these characters: mahito, naoya, mei mei

will write:

female, male, gn, trans reader

sfw, n. sfw

top, bottom, or switch reader

dom, sub, or switch reader

any k*nks not listed in the “will not write” section (i don’t wanna have to list a bunch of k*nks out, so i’m just gonna leave it at that)

if you have a question about whether i will or won’t write for a specific k*nk, just drop an ask.

#star text

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plush-anon · 4 years

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Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! Review

Muahahhhahahhahahaha! Thanks to the Walmart tradition of stocking movies for sale weeks before the intended release date, I have myself a copy of what claims to be Scooby Doo’s FIRST Halloween adventure!

…in spite of movies like Witch’s Ghost and Goblin King, holiday specials like WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween (which had a haunted Scarecrow too…), BCSD’s EL Bandito (for Dia de los Muertos - obvs not the same, but most companies act like it) and Halloween, The NSDM’s Halloween Hassle at Dracula’s Castle, and the DTV short film Scooby Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow (which, ironically enough, did NOT take the opportunity to feature Dr. Jonathan Crane).

So let us take a look now at Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! and see whether this film will be a graveyard smash of a treat, or a black licorice bomb of disappointment.

Full review (and SPOILERS TO GO WITH IT) are below the cut in my new review format; if all goes smoothly, I’ll go with this for future Scooby films.

WARNING: This review is very long.

One minor note before we begin: the Special Features actually include BCSD’s Halloween, WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween, and PNSD’s Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

...so they were AWARE this was not the first Halloween adventure of the Scooby gang, and yet still use that tag line. Hm.

Still, kudos for including them - this’ll help boost the reasons to keep this movie, if it turns out to be a real Milk Dud of a movie *ba-dum tish* :D

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The movie starts off rather abruptly, actually - no slow pan over the setting, just WB Animation credit and BOOM, we’ve cut to a Halloween parade and Elvira is talking.

I’m of a mixed opinion including Elvira on top of having Bill Nye and a Batman Rogue - while she most certainly fits the Scooby aesthetic, it doesn’t feel as grand an impact after her weird little cameo in Return to Zombie Island (ugh) and I’m not sure how well the movie will balance her in wait a minute

wait just a

WAIT A MINUTE

Did - did that parade float skeleton just sing Crystal Cove as the town’s name?

oh no.

Oh No.

....also their song is terrible and they should feel terrible.

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Fred: We got him! Banh Mi Shop, second floor!

me: the heck is a Banh Mi Shop? *mild googling noises*

So I guess Jonathan Crane really had a craving for a Vietnamese sandwich before he enacted his Halloween scheme.

...you think he’s a lemongrass chicken type of guy or a BBQ pork guy? It’s always hard to guess at these things, esp when coffee and pumpkin spice aren’t on the table (as per fanon, of course)

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Velma: We have a flawless track record!

So I guess WB is just gonna ignore the past few DTV retcons established in 13 Ghosts and Return to Zombie Island?

I mean that rather defeats the purpose of them existing at all, but fcuk YEAH I can get behind throwing that retcon garbage out of canon!

And STAY OUT!!

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Shaggy, talking about ghosts being real: I’m like the boy who cried wolf - I keep warning you but like, you won’t believe me until I finally get eaten!

Yet again, Warner Bros makes a wolf reference to Shaggy. Yet again, I am torn asunder between wanting werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property, and fearing for the appearance of werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property.

-------

Velma: Point is, being afraid is a waste of time!

Scarecrow, LITERALLY EXPLODING THROUGH A BRICK WALL three buildings away:

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He’s floating through the air and t-posing to assert his dominance 🤣🤣🤣

Gods bless animation 😁

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Daphne @ Shag and Scoob locking themselves in the van: Are you serial?

Me: wait, SERIAL? *re-reads captions* yup, that says “serial”.

Is this an editing mistake? I don’t think that works here…unless that’s supposed to be a joke on how they always do this. But then why would that be an irritating surprise, they literally do this EVERY episode 🙄

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Oh hey, Red Herring’s Party Screams truck has Red Herring running out of it

Could this be a hint to how the story goes? The villain appearing on a literal Red Herring?

Naaaaaah, WB’s not THAT smart

-------

So if we take @captainbaddecisions crack theory on Jonathan Crane being Shaggy’s uncle seriously, does this mean that Jonathan is using magic to fly, float fear toxin orbs around himself, and making things explode, a la the family trait of Crack Theory A?

Logically he’s probs using wires or magnets or some shit, but it’s a fun thought to entertain 😁

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Welp, we finally get the opening credits! … with Jonathan Crane smashing through the Mystery Machine’s windshield, set to a slow poppy song straight from the 60s, and spewing the title of the film out in glittery pink mist.

All the while Scooby and Shaggy throw candy at each other, deliberately obtuse to the cloud of fear toxin enveloping their friends and the townsfolk, the steady destruction of the Mystery Machine they’re laying in as multiple cars crash into it and send it spiraling, and the general mayhem and destruction that Scarecrow is causing

Never change, guys, never change

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I just choked on my lemonade

There’s an article plastered to the roof of the Mystery Machine titled “Talking Dog Confounds, Ignites Ethics Debate Over Dog Labor”

ahahahahaha

-------

Annnnnnnnd there goes the Mystery Machine, tumbling in the air and over the roads with Shaggy and Scooby still inside without seat belts. Will they perish in this horrible road accident? Will Death finally come to claim them at last?

Of course not. This is Shaggy and Scooby we’re talking about - I’m almost positive they can survive anything up to and including a nuclear bomb. This is child’s play to them.

-------

So they “capture” Scarecrow… by pinning his cape to a tree with crossbow bolts.

And they do not try to at least tie up his arms or his hands in ANY capacity.

JUST the cape.

...you know, Velma, for a team with a “flawless” track record, you guys are making a hecking TON of mistakes in facing against one of Batman’s ROGUES GALLERY, ESPECIALLY with no Batman in sight, good freakin’ grief. 😩

------

Yaaaaaaaaas, this Scarecrow design is LUSH

He’s got the lank, the height, the BTAS costume colors, the elongated face with beaky nose and pointed chin and angular cheekbones, the eyebags like Gucci, the furrowed brow… honestly the only thing missing is the more reddish color hair, and even that isn’t mandatory. I love 😍

Not to mention the HOT DAYUM voice he has - low and velvet rough and so godsdamned particular in a way that could either tie in to obscuring a southern accent as in fanon or just as a stringent academic, oh my yes. He’s voiced by someone called Dwight Schultz, who’s most well known for playing Captain ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock in the OG A-Team show, and someone called Reginald Barclay in Star Trek TNG and Voyager, if any of y’all know that character in particular.

And of course, the first line he says is a delightfully wry “Oh, but I AM getting away with it,” with the sort of smirk that absolutely lends credence to why he’s a threat to Batman, and not some simpering wimp that can be defeated with some crossbow bolts in a tree.

I think I’m going to enjoy this movie at least somewhat, so long as we get to see him 🥰🥰🥰

(tho on a side note: Daphne why on EARTH are you trying to film Crane saying the meddling kids line? Do you have a video compilation of past villains who’ve done that, and you hope to add his to it? Was your phone damaged when you went up against the Riddler a few DTVs ago and you want a second shot at recording a Gotham Rogue saying it? Bc I don’t think a Gotham Rogue would be too pleased with seeing himself as a Mystery Meme on the Youtubes, you get what I’m saying?)

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Okay, so the floating orb things are explained away as fear toxin bomb drones somehow… despite looking nothing like the other drones and being much smaller with no visible propulsion, while also flying unassisted through and around objects to explode against places once flung…

(tho interesting note, none of them are aimed directly at the crowds, just behind them - odd, that)

But how did he heckin’ FLY at the beginning?

Yeah, they show him wearing wrist-mounted grappling hooks at the end of the intro song sequence, but they are NOWHERE IN SIGHT at the beginning - and I do mean in sight, since he emerges against a backdrop of flames. There was nothing there (see the T-pose above for further evidence), and nothing there when he FLEW THROUGH THE MYSTERY MACHINE’S WINDSHIELD AND FLEW BACK OUT AGAIN. And these things are pale silver, which stands out like crazy against the darker backgrounds, so no hand-wavy ‘they were always being used’ bullcrap we’ve seen in other movies.

Hmmm *scribbles in notepad* note to self, add notation concerning Crack Theory A on magic!Shaggy to “Uncle Crane” theory files - evidence denotes that Crane is able to fly (or at least hover in mid-air unassisted) for terrorization purposes. May boost strength of CTA by family association, lending credence to magic inheritance along the bloodline...

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“Avocado Toast Generation”? Crane, I honestly don’t know if you really mean that, or if you understand just how much that phrase gets under any Millennial/Gen Z kid’s skin. Having seen multiple variations of your character, it really could swing either way (tho kudos on the dead switch idea - very nice 👍🏻)

Although this does lead to an interesting stand-off: Fred, upon seeing the town threatened with 3 days worth of fear toxin, immediately moves to let Crane go, while Velma stops him and refuses to consider compromising if it means Crane escapes. They both look legitimately frustrated at the other for taking the stance they do.

Fascinating~

------

Hmmm

Crane honey, I don’t know if your drones are made of flash paper and hope, or if Scooby and Shaggy are using the reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally old candy (the stuff made about ~3 years ago most neighborhoods give out to the teenagers that knock around midnight on Halloween) to shoot them down, but either way you may wish to speak with the manufacturer about this

Then again, this IS Shaggy and Scooby - they probably could’ve spat marshmallows at the drones and brought them down with equal success and explosions

(and good on them for shooting those down! Atta boy 👍🏻)

-------

Aw dang it

1. They still have Crane captured and now in handcuffs (despite having… you know… NOT been bound by anything except cross bolts in his curtain cape thing)

2. Dwight Schultz has decided to pitch his voice higher and more nasally than what he has. Hopefully this is more of an incredulous sort of pitch than something that sticks for the rest of the movie, ugh.

Also, I think they’re framing the movie to be more Velma-centric this time around - she’s the one explaining to Crane how they tracked him down, apparently through a piece of fan mail he sent Elvira (is that the only reason she’s there? Also why was Velma examining random pieces of fan mail for toxins, Elvira probs gets hundreds a week irl) and it looks like they’re framing something up on how fear isn’t something you can pretend isn’t there. neat!

------

whajit

53rd?

53rd?!?!

ONLY 53rd?!?!?!?!

Boooo, Scarecrow’s WAY more popular than that! I call foul

---

Okay why is Daphne’s schtick so far to spit laaaaaaame slang after every sentence Velma says

I would rather this not be her schtick

Actually could she go back to filming mystery stuff, bc at least I can pretend it’ll build into the OG Zombie Island Daphne

----

Phew, his voice has returned to its low, raspy goodness

also, Crane needs to learn about personal space, good grief

(interesting clue brought up tho - Crane only steals tech that CAN’T leak his toxin, ergo it can’t be tracked until he releases it. Sensible use, given that Batman probs tracks it if it does.)

----

Velma: I’m not afraid of you, Crane. Fear is an illogical reaction to an imagined threat.

Crane:

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Crane: Fearless, then. Intelligent. Proud and stubborn. You remind me very much of the one person in this world I care about.

uhhhhhh

Yourself? Harley? Edward Nygma? Ichabod the raven? Idk, I’m honestly curious as to where this thread will go 🤔🤔🤔

-----

Fred, leaning against the Mystery Machine: Guys, it’s gonna be okay. She told me!

O_o

Fred? Honey? Are you sure you weren’t supposed to join Crane in the transport vehicle back to Arkham?

----

OH SWEET JESUS SHAGGY GREW YAOI HANDS

WHAT THE HECK

THAT’S WAY MORE UNNERVING THEN YOU GUYS NOT BEING AFRAID ANYMORE

(although the fact that they’re both unsettled by NOT constantly shaking or having their heart racing is honestly kind of heartbreaking. Y’all need therapy, good grief)

----

Shaggy and Scooby just chewed up candy (wrapper and all) to make themselves a Halloween costume of… what looks like barfed-up candy (ew)

Before then proceeding to dance so well that everyone around them also starts dancing in a 60s-70s era rainbow light show and giving them candy

I worry for these two sometimes - that kind of power seems to be getting to their head 😬😬😬

---

Oh hey, acid green toxic waste is spilling from an 18-wheeler onto the Fear Toxin drones and emitting a purple pink haze that envelops a pumpkin patch! That won’t do anything suspicious at all I bet!

(wait is Poison Ivy going to come into this at some point)

(also major kudos to the music here - very 80s horror synth, I like)

----

So the Pumpkins have grown faces, limbs, consciousness, the ability to fly and a lust for human flesh

And they appear to be led by the Pumpkin King of the Pumpkin Patch mentioned in the Charlie Brown Halloween special

He’s not as friendly as I pictured him being, sadly 😕

---

Why is this random ass cop coming up to FD&V to say that they’re in over their heads… AFTER the mystery’s been solved?

Like dude, you’re only making yourself suspicious at this point, go home

----

Huh, interesting - the gang are being interviewed for a tv news network while they’re considered the town heroes

Why am I getting bad vibes from this…

Eh, it’s probably nothing

----

Velma: {Shaggy and Scooby} are, um… REALLY into the Halloween spirit.

Shaggy: THIS ISN’T COSPLAY, VELMA!

I’m dying 😂

------

Holy Shit

Velma just snapped and went off on Shaggy and Scooby for acting scared and doing nothing to help wrap up the mystery

(even though these guys are the ONLY reason that the gang didn’t have to choose between setting Scarecrow free and poisoning the entire town for 3 days straight, but hey, what do I know - I’m just writing an in-depth reaction post to this movie and taking note of details like this, clearly I know nothing *eye roll*)

Last time I saw Velma critique the guys’ usual mystery solving shenanigans, it was much more low-key and without knowing they were nearby

But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence

------

What the

Bills?

Bills?!?!

Fred just mentioned that fixing the Mystery Machine was going to leave a hefty bill and that they may need to get dishwashing jobs to earn money

Which is more of a job you might expect a high schooler to get on the go and yet

They actually have to pay bills

How old are they here??!

------

wait a tic

THIS is how they introduce Bill Nye?

He just calls up Velma with no explanation other than Velma saying “Oh hey, it’s Bill Nye!”

I just - what?!?!

How do you know him so well that he can just pull up your number and call you, and then geT YOU A NEW FREAKING CAR LIKE

WHAT?!?!?!?

Was there a Scooby episode with him in the past two years where the fcuk did this come from

------

Also the car is dressed like Bill Nye

And he can talk to the gang directly as the car

So that he can solve mysteries with them whenever he wants

This… this was not what I was expecting to come about from the Bill Nye cameo

(alas, poor predictions of being Crane’s roommate, you will not come to pass this day) 😔

-------

Ooooo, purple haze throbbing on the horizon! That’s always a good sign of things to come! 😀

------

And now Daphne’s… asking Elvira to mentor her fashion wise. And Elvira’s taking her on as her unpaid intern/personal assistant.

Yooo, movie, can you pick a direction and stick with it for Daphne? You’ve gone from her spewing outdated slang to wanting a costume for trick-or-treating, and now this.

-------

Welp, now I can say I saw a giant pumpkin dog vore an old woman

I didn’t WANT to see that mind, but I guess I can say it now 😐

------

OH SHIT NO

IT TURNED HER INTO A FLYING PUMPKIN SHAPED LIKE HER FACE

ABSOLUTELY UNSETTLING, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

-------

At least we get a nice scene of Daphne kicking the pumpkins’ collective butt

Something normal

------

Elvira: WOW! You’re a regular Mary Sue!

*falls over cackling*

------

And now there’s a giant purple fissure opening up in the concrete to swallow the town of Crystal Cove whole

(good, i whisper softly into the darkness of my living room. Let it fall)

--------

Man, I feel so bad for this single father right now

He’s gotten wrapped up in all of this nonsense with his daughter, and he is just Distraught at being chased by Jackal Lanterns, having the town collapsing under his feet, and having to gorge jump in his sedan to get away from the worst of it

It’s okay, Mike Dad - we would feel the same way in your shoes

-------

Hologram Bill Nye is wearing Cat ears and cat whiskers/nose, and is cleaning his hands like a cat cleans its paws

Why was this the movie we found out Bill Nye was a furry

Why Warner Bros

Why would you inflict this upon us in a Scooby Doo-Scarecrow mystery

-------

Hey, can Jonathan Crane return now? The movie needs its dignity back.

------

A clue on the whys here - the town was built on top of a MASSIVE lithium deposit, with the talks to mine it being scrapped due to environmental concerns. That’s actually a decent lead in for why some

-------

Welp

The Jackal Lanterns just went full Mad Max with the Halloween Parade floats and cars

No, I don’t have any idea why either, just roll with it

-------

Nice, they confirmed that Fred’s full name is still Frederick Herman Jones XD

Also a great little action sequence with Daphne - while there’s not much movement, they frame the scene dynamically, with some good quick wordplay. Very nice.

--------

Velma has a mind palace

Aight

--------

Velma: Shaggy, I could kiss you!

Oh, to hear this as a child, when I still hardcore shipped Shelma *sigh*

------

Oh thank gods we’re going back to Scarecrow again

------

Shaggy ate some Scooby Snacks, leapt out of a moving vehicle, and onto the backs of two flying pumpkins that he promptly reined in to fly to Crane’s prison transport

...yet again, I am amazed at the sentences I am led to type for Scooby Doo DTVs

------

Ah, how very Hannibal Lector of you, Jon

Man, he actually looks very meek in normal clothes - red long-sleeved shirt and grey slacks

-----

Hmmm

So Crane ISN’T behind the Jackal Lanterns - in fact he’s outright befuddled by them. This means his whole spiel to Velma earlier about both of them being caught in the same trap was… metaphorical? The breakdown doesn’t actually go into WHY he thinks they’re in the same trap - Crane’s whole schtick is tied to accepting fear, not denying it, so why would they be the same?

Either way, someone is using both him and Mystery Inc to do something to Crystal Cove (please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring)

Actually, that reference at the beginning really WAS a red herring - they framed it as being Jon the whole time when it wasn’t. Kudos!

Additional kudos to having Jon be seen more out of mask than in - he is a looker, and I aim to look as much as I can ;)

-------

Annnnd Daphne’s now trying to convince Elvira to switch clothes with her

I don’t get it - how on earth did we get from Daphne trying to find a good costume for trick-or-treating to asking Elvira to switch oh there it is nevermind.

-----

There is literally a scene where a giant buzzsaw is slicing towards Crane

and he just

stares at it

going “huh, that’s different”

And I LOVE IT

------

And here we have another fascinating scene: Velma going to free Crane from his cell, as Daphne tells her to just leave him to die by pumpkin

I’m wondering if they meant to draw a parallel between the two here - Velma starts by reciting a nursery rhyme, then overcoming her fears in order to release madness to take control. It’s not done very cleanly - mainly bc we barely have any time with Crane in this movie - but I wonder if they meant to insinuate that Crane was like Velma once, where he refused to acknowledge he was afraid, which caused him to lose focus on his initial goals

Idk, ignore my ramblings

---

Crane, smirking: I’ll need my personal effects - extenuating circumstances.

Me, fanning myself: I’ll need you to remove yours first

(i am not even kidding, Crane is an absolute DILF in this movie and it flusters me. Stupid sexy animation)

---

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

SCARECROW TO THE MOTHERFCUKING RESCUE BABY, SCYTHE AND FCUKING ALL!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

----

FCUK YEAH THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

HE HAS A DANCE LIKE QUALITY WITH SOME OF HIS FIGHTING MOVES

VIOLENT DANCING BRINGS THE GIANT JACKAL LANTERN DOWN BABY

THEN HE BACKFLIPS AND GYMNASTIC SWINGS INTO THE VAN

ROCK IT SCARECROW FCUKING ROCK IT

(minor note here, but the subtitles show Dr. Crane instead of Scarecrow - unsure if that’s more that the movie calls him Dr Crane or if it indicates he’s acting more heroic than villainous)

---

GODDAMNIT

THE GIANT PUMPKIN SNUCK VINES INTO THE VAN AND STOLE HIM BACK

WHEN CRANE WAS... wearing a seatbelt before, but isn’t now.

...

BOOOOO

---

Yet again, we find a Scooby movie that attempts character development, but with Velma

Unlike Shaggy’s Showdown however, I’m mixed on how successful it is.

For starters, Velma hasn’t been this cocksure in other DTVs we’ve seen, so it’s a bit odd to see it now. While not 100% out of place - after all, the gang DID capture one of Batman’s Rogues Gallery on their own - it still feels a touch forced. Compare that to Shaggy’s Showdown, where Shaggy has ALWAYS been a coward (one that, in more recent years, writers have had willing to abandon his friends for safety), so the character development there feels more natural.

The progression of events with Velma actually work somewhat okay - but again, here’s where past DTVs come to bite them in the ass. The past handful have had the gang be wrong, have had them fail, or catch the wrong guy. This makes Velma’s attitude here at odds with the other films, something that sticks more due to a character that’s appeared in the past few films as a minor inconvenience - a Sheriff who keeps telling the gang not to interfere, they’re doing things wrong, etc. If this had been a character who was completely wrong in the past AND SHOWN TO BE WRONG FOR HIS OPINIONS, while the gang never guessed wrong, this would work much better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and here we are.

I think it would have flowed better if Velma’s cockiness came solely from catching Crane on their own. Have a random cop character or reporter or whatever (just not the recurring cop), insinuate that the gang is in too deep with Scarecrow, that he should be handled by the adults or professionals or whatever. Velma could bristle, overcompensate, and THEN fall from her pedestal like we see, reach out to the gang and commiserate over feeling scared, and grow. Again, it’s not too far to reach for, but they handle it poorly; as a result, the outcome feels a little more shoehorned in.

It’s an honest shame, bc we haven’t had a Velma centered story since Frankencreepy, and we all remember what a hideous fcuking mess THAT was *shudders*. Still, it somewhat gets its point across, I guess.

---

Fred why did you rip your shirt off

Actually better question why do you not have nipples

---

Awwwwwww

Velma just apologized to Shag and Scoob for snapping at them earlier, and admits how she doesn’t appreciate how much they make Mystery Inc what it is

Also she eats a Scooby Snack with them and admits they taste pretty good

----

Huh

Velma’s mind palace is the Mystery Machine driving through space

Also Shaggy and Scooby are able to telepathically follow her in and communicate with her

Literally, they actually followed her into her head telepathically, and show her their memories of things she hasn’t gotten to see tonight (while also possibly enhancing her ability to remember things, given how much DETAIL she captures perfectly of things that she would maybe have glimpsed in a millisecond AT MOST)

...another tally for Crack Theory A of magic! Shaggy and Scooby *scribbles*

-------

Fred, be very very thankful that there are no people operating those pumpkins in person cause uhhhh

Those traps would be spraying red instead of orange

------

Another weird music choice - the gang goes up to fight the Jackal Lanterns, but the music is the same 60s bubble we heard earlier

Not terribly atmospheric, really

(wouldn’t a Smashing Pumpkins cover of Scooby Doo be more appropriate, or did you guys spend all your money on hiring Elvira and Bill Nye?)

------

Dang

Velma just admitted her fears and jumped into the mouth of the Mega Pumpkin, before getting Fred to use the app from earlier to shut it down, revealing it to be a giant drone surrounded by smaller pumpkin drones

This feels… counterintuitive, but I’ll try to explain at the end

---

Okay

I’ll admit it

The Whodunnit is actually pretty decent in concept

There was a sprinkling of tidbits that could be assembled for the final conclusion and still make a decent amount of sense, all to find the sheriff doing it

Only he isn’t a sheriff

He’s a former Tech CEO who was also busted by the gang years ago in a case the Sheriff kept bringing up throughout the movie - due to his prison sentence, he lost more than half his wealth and the opportunity to expand it further with the Crystal Cove Lithium deposits

He was also someone who sold tech to Crane for his fear toxin distribution, where he got the idea to frame him for it

(tho on a side note, Crane is an absolute dork and a terrible liar - just look at the email he sent XD and that profile pic, my gods)

He deliberately picked at the gang for the past few DTVs (specifically 2: Return to Zombie Island and Curse of the 13th Ghost) to fracture their confidence, undermine them, etc - all so that in one fell swoop, he could retake his fortune, frighten everyone in town away from the mines so they couldn’t interfere, frighten away the gang (while also ruining their reputation as mystery solvers), and take Crane off the docket so he couldn’t identify the CEO when he pretended to be the sheriff

This… is actually a pretty damn good plan, for a Scooby villain. He was patient, manipulative, and clever, learning how best to tie up loose ends and win back what he lost. A clever revenge story that came so close to coming to fruition, and could have honestly been sold convincingly…

...if it hadn’t been done so much better in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed.

Yeeeaaaah, this movie basically lifts the rough framework up from that one - past mystery villain comes back to attack the gang and ruin their reputation (tho this one decides to also make his fortune back and tie up loose ends with former criminal contacts, a la Crane). Gang is embarrassed in front of the news folk, another villain is framed for it (like Old Man Wickles of the Black Knight fame), and the gang must reconcile to foil the villain for good.

Although it also??? Merges elements of Frankencreepy in it?? The movie is focused on Velma, who is struggling to admit when she’s wrong (which ties into her fear, somehow… I’ll think on that point a little) and things purportedly go haywire when she won’t bend. This… isn’t illustrated as well here, since there’s very little direct cause-and-effect from Velma’s actions that would prove this point - that insisting her way is the right, best, and therefore only way to go ends up making things worse.

As much as I despised Frankencreepy (and I DESPISED IT), it did do that part well - showing that refusing to budge on something can lead to you hurting your friends (literally, in that one), and that admitting you were wrong and need help isn’t the end of the world.

(that movie also had former villains returning to gain vengeance upon the gang using psychological warfare, hm - may need to go over that one again, unfortunately).

It’s a shame, too - the basic elements for this plot are all here, they just need to be polished and reworked a bit to make a really fascinating movie.

------

Anyways, back to the asshat CEO who just… faked being a sheriff. Because white people can get away with that so long as they have the outfit and the car *throws up hands* (the sad part is this is probably something that actually happens)

As he drives away we see a familiar silhouette looming in the cornfields, watching him approach

Velma had Bill Nye on speaker, so he could record the entire confession for the federal officers nearby (who were taking Scarecrow back to Arkham), and track the phone signal to his exact location

And right as his holographic call cuts out, we see the shadow of a Scarecrow looming over him, causing him to scream.

When the feds arrive at his final location, both his body and the money have vanished. The car still sits, engine running, before the crows leering over him from the field vanish into the sky.

-------

Now that he’s dead, the gang walks and finds themselves at a Halloween party, with friendly faces and good food. The mystery is solved, though the culprit may never be found again.

Then Daphne admits to NOT trying to steal Elvira’s costume for Halloween, but instead trying to steal Elvira’s identity and replace her.

Something that she’s apparently nearly gotten away with on past mysteries working with Phillis Diller

*sighs* movie, why couldn’t you just stick to the costume schtick? This is just… so much worse.

-----

From there, Elvira walks off to wrap things up, reveal the monster face on the back of her head sans wig (which was also a monkey), and start the credits, where we see the gang working to bring the Mystery Machine back to its former glory a la Frankenstein pastiche.

This movie… this movie is a hot mess, but at least it’s an OKAY hot mess.

It really does feel like someone started writing a decent Velma-focused movie concerning the Scarecrow and a past Mystery Inc villain interfering, but was bogged down by notes from higher-ups: Wait! Write in Elvira! Also write in Bill Nye! Hey, let’s have a Mad Max car chase with the Jackal Lanterns! And have Daphne obsessed with literally becoming Elvira! Also make reference to things that we’ll insist be explained this way instead of a way that makes sense! Great!

(seriously tho, we never find out who Crane cares about most that reminds him of Velma, what the heck?)

It’s like two or three different scripts were smooshed together without being cleaned up - stuff is said that doesn’t get resolved, the celebrity guests don’t get to breathe much and feel squished together, and the build-up for the villain feels… less impactful, even knowing that he’s been in the past two films.

It might have worked if he’d been in… let’s say like 5 or 6 DTVs in a row, speaking roles for dissing the gang growing in each (ex start with “Good job kids! But maybe next time, leave it to the professionals, okay?” and growing more bitter from there), but only 2 feels kind of meh. Still, I do appreciate the clues we got to collect together, and they all work in the final breakdown of the scheme - some DTVs can feel like they pull stuff completely out of nowhere, so kudos there.

I appreciate what they wanted to do with Velma - give her a character development arc similar to Shaggy’s in Shaggy’s Showdown. Unfortunately, it wasn’t set up quite so neatly: they blended her ‘refusal to admit fear’ with her overconfidence that she was always right, and it led to a weird conclusion. To face her fears, she leapt into the Giant Pumpkin, which… proved that she was right all along about it being fake, and that solves things somehow. It doesn’t address how she can get something wrong sometimes, it doesn’t really address what she’s afraid of (which is honestly quite good: she’s afraid of failing in a way that allows bad guys to escape justice and in a way that hurts her friends), it’s just a bit of a mess. Points for aiming the focus the right way (and in a way that DOESN’T sexualize the underage teenage girl, unlike some DTVs cough cough Frankencreepy cough cough), but it’s very very messy how it goes about it.

The movie actually balanced pretty well for the whole gang - no excessive focus on one leaving the rest in the dust (too much at least - Fred was a touch underdeveloped, but nowhere near as annoying as past iterations have been. Shaggy and Scooby were kind of meh in some places but great in others, while Daphne was just odd. I think they were trying to recapture the BCSD Daphne characterization, but they failed. Still, she did spend some good time kicking ass with the pumpkins, so that was fun.

Now for the Rogue, Jonathan Crane. If you like Crane, this movie gives you: maniacal Scarecrow, calm and creepy Crane, a brief glimpse at fanboy!Crane (he admits in his own awkward way that he’s a fan of Elvira, and later tells her he loves her work - it’s fun), and (best of all for me) a heroic Crane - one who helps the protagonists and ends up kicking ass pretty damn well, brief as it was. And while DILF Crane is always a treat, he feels underutilized in this. In comparison, Scooby Doo/Batman Brave and the Bold really utilized a lot of different aspects of Riddler, to the point he actually does feel pretty menacing by the third act. It’s a shame we don’t quite get that with Crane, but I do love seeing him 1. More out of mask, and 2. Acting as a good guy (in his own way), so he’s enjoyable on the whole.

I kind of wish that the whole movie was spent more with Crane, but again, the script is a bit of a mess on this part - the fact that he’s not completely screwed over is a goddamn miracle.

Elvira was… okay. She didn’t have much of a purpose beyond getting the plot started and giving Daphne some hooks to play off of. Bill Nye (abrupt as his introduction was) did provide some necessary elements to the mystery, as well as the tech; he wasn’t too bad by the end. (still a touch bitter we didn’t get ex roommate Nye, but hey, what can you do)

Humor was… mixed. Some good, some meh, but very few long enough to feel painful. Some bits felt extraneous at times, but they did help to build to the conclusion, so points for effort.

At the end of the day though, I’m probably keeping this more for Jonathan Crane than anyone else. It does have a lot of fanfic potential tho 🤔🤔🤔

That’s all from me tonight, folks! Hope you enjoyed my own little breakdown of the movie.

#happy halloween scooby doo #plush reviews: final thoughts #jonathan crane #scarecrow #spoilers

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monstersdownthepath · 5 years

Text

Spiritual Spotlight: Charon the Boatman

(and featuring the arm of Dispater, in the upper right!)

Neutral Evil Horseman of Death

Domains: Death, Evil, Knowledge, Water Subdomains: Daemon, Ice, Memory, Undead

The Complete Book of the Damned, pg. 36~37

Obedience: Meditate upon your infirmities and the slow, inevitable progression of physical and mental decay inherent to the ravages of time. Mimic this progression by immersing yourself or a victim in icy water until nearly unconscious, or by consuming alcohol or drugs that dull memory and mental faculties. Benefit: Gain a +4 profane bonus on saving throws against necromancy and negative energy effects.

I greatly prefer the shrouded figure in a nice hat from the Bestiary, but I’ll be damned if the crotchety, coin-covered old man from the cover of the Complete Book of the Damned hasn’t won me over a little. Too bad the illustration inside the book is so... eugh.

Anyway, it’s odd to me that the most powerful of all the Horsemen has the simplest of all the Obediences. Simple doesn’t mean safe or easy, though. Icy water is difficult to come by without magic, especially not water cold enough to deal damage to you--note that it says you have to be rendered nearly unconscious by this submersion, implying nonlethal damage must be dealt by the freezing temperatures. A stickler DM may demand the water be at -0F or below, which deals nonlethal damage each minute, and may force you to bathe in it longer depending on how much HP you have, meaning this Obedience becomes more difficult as you level up.

Of course, that’s just a mechanical perspective. You can achieve the same result by meditating under the water until you nearly pass out from oxygen deprivation, in that case. A looser DM may also allow you to chill (badum-tish) in the water for an hour and consider it said and done... But beware, because you can’t just dunk yourself in ice-cold water over and over again without some longer-reaching side effects, such as frostbite or hypothermia. ... Both of which can be cured via magic, but y’know. It’s real hard to explain to any do-gooders in your party why you keep needing frostbite healed while in the middle of summer. It’s a very hard Obedience to keep a secret, is what I’m saying, especially since it requires a bathing vessel, a whole lot of water, and some method to chill it. The latter two can be done with magic, but the former is still pretty attention-grabbing.

Unless you cut out the danger to yourself and just use a Sack Of Rats and nearly drown one in freezing water every day, I mean. You save on water and on bathing vessels! It makes you look like a sociopath if you get caught, though. I mean, you are if you’re worshiping Charon, but it’s also real hard to explain why you’re dunking rats in ice water.

The potential alternative is no less deleterious to your character, either. Drugs which dull memory and mental faculties tend to do so by dealing Intelligence or Wisdom damage, and dealing damage to your own ability scores is never something you want to do just in case the DM has a monster in the wings that’s ready to do it for you. There’s also the danger of addiction, which itself can be cured by Cure Disease... but if you can’t cast it yourself, then there’s the whole “explaining things to your party” thing again. While carrying around drugs is a lot more subtle than hauling around a bathtub, it’s also more expensive and is likely to raise more questions and garner more attention if you’re caught in the act, ESPECIALLY if you’re in a majorly Good- or Neutral-aligned civilization at the moment. Not to mention it’s harder to maintain; what are you gonna do, stock up on a hundred days’ worth of Hazy Brain Juice in one city? And don’t forget that it’s ability score damage. Taking those kinds of drugs day after day is going to render you invalid quickly unless you have a method of repairing the damage.

And if you don’t, party shaking disapproving head etc etc you know the drill.

And, no, getting sloshed first thing in the morning isn’t any better, even if you can cure it right away. Being the Funny Drunken Party Guy is good fun once in a while, but not every single day at the crack of dawn. It DOES make it easier to disguise your true nature, though, because Cayden Cailean exists. You’d just have to put up with looking like a really, really terrible follower of good ol’ CC who misunderstood their own god.

Hoo man. That was a lot of writing! Anyway, the benefit is great. Necromancers and death Clerics are a very common enemy type, so it’s good to have the extra protection against them! .... Unless you’re in an Evil campaign, in which case you’re unlikely to run into as many negative energy effects or necromancers. That puts a pretty big dampener on its usefulness.

Boons usually come at levels 12, 16, and 20 if you merely take the Fiendish Obedience feat, but having levels in the Evangelist, Exalted, or Sentinel prestige classes allow you to unlock the respective bonuses much faster. The trio of prestige classes can be entered as early as level 7; taken as early as possible, you unlock the Boons at levels 10, 13, and 16 instead.

Daemon worshipers may elect to class into the Souldrinker prestige class instead of the Evangelist, Exalted, or Sentinel class, and may choose any of the three Boon lists they wish to have.

———-

EVANGELIST

———-

Boon 1: Death’s Blessing. Gain Memory Lapse 3/day, Catatonia 2/day, or Create Soul Gem 1/day

I’ve discussed the general usefulness of Memory Lapse previously in Tex Mex Ian’s article, so check that out under Evangelist!

Catatonia is a spell whose usefulness is SO cripplingly limited that the situations in which it’s useful are basically nil. For those who don’t know what the spell does--and I don’t blame you--it’s a touch spell that knocks the target into a deathlike state for 1hr/level. Their body is treated like a corpse in all respects until the spell ends or is ended by an outside effect. Can you think of a practical use for this spell that couldn’t be replicated by a different spell? I bet! What if I told you it offered no saving throw? That’d be AMAZING!

Except that it can only be used on a willing target.

Yeah.

I suppose you could use mind-control magic to make someone willingly accept the spell, but at that point you have someone mind controlled so there’s no real need to knock them out, unless you VERY SPECIFICALLY need to bring their corpse somewhere and have them regain consciousness to wreak havoc.

Create Soul Gem, however, is a... strange spell. Because it’s a spell-like, you don’t actually need the focus component (a crystal lens worth 500gp), but the spell itself transforms the crystal lens into a soul gem. I would discuss the exact way this manifests with your DM before it comes up, because in my opinion, you should be allowed to just use any old glass or crystal lens you have on you as the focus regardless of its worth. A player character will likely have little reason to actually create a soul gem unless they’re bargaining with fiends, or holding the soul of some unfortunate victim captive... But the spell wears off 1 day/level later, the gemstone crumbling and releasing the soul to the Boneyard for judgment. Some fiends likely won’t recognize the temporary soul gem, but most devils will, and a daemon definitely will.

Thankfully, though this ability may seem less than spectacular at first, it combos well with the next Boon...

Boon 2: Soul Crush. As a standard action, you can crush a soul gem (such as one you create via Create Soul Gem or one created by a Cacodaemon) to gain Fast Healing 15 for a number of rounds equal to your Hit Dice. This action condemns the crushed soul to Abaddon; resurrecting this victim requires a successful DC 28 caster level check.

... Oh boy does it combo well. Suddenly, Create Soul Gem reads as ‘once per day, fully heal your character over the course of a minute.’ Regenerating 15 damage every round you remain conscious is game-breakingly powerful, saving your party hundreds on spell slots, wand charges, and health potions as you gnaw on a delicious soul-filled rock rather than take up valuable resources. By the time you get this ability, it lets you restore over 190 HP to yourself per soul gem used, and that will rise as you level up.

This is one of the rare Evangelist Boons that can fit on any character archetype equally well. A frontline tank will adore the extra HP, and between their AC and Fast Healing, will likely outheal any damage the enemy can do. The midliners who can slip out of combat can dodge and roll as their entire HP bar grows back, and the backliners who get potshot by enemy attacks can bide their time in cover until they regain enough HP to peek out again.

The best part about this ability, though? The quality of the soul gem doesn’t matter, and there’s no daily limit on how many times you can use this power, only however many soul gems you have on your person. Stock up, and become the invincible soul-eater you always dreamed of being!

... Oh yeah, everyone you crush gets sent to Abaddon, too. That’s pretty neat! And also a horrible fate to inflict on someone! You bastard!

Boon 3: Death’s Clutches. You can use Soul Bind as a spell-like ability 1/day.

Hrm. Soul Bind is... A step up, I suppose, from Create Soul Gem. It’s basically Create Soul Gem, except the gemstone is permanent. That’s actually all there is to it; they even have the same range as one another.

Along with the same complication that results from the spell itself requiring a gemstone focus to bind the soul, but spell-like abilities typically ignore focus requirements. Whatever solution you and your DM came up with for Create Soul Gem will have to work with Soul Bind as well. Whatever the case may be, though, this ability might end up giving you a nice pocket filled to the brim with soul gems to fuel your immortality.

———-

EXALTED

———-

Boon 1: Death’s Grace. Gain Ray of Enfeeblement 3/day, Death Knell 2/day, or Sands of Time 1/day.

I’ve talked about Ray of Enfeeblement and Death Knell before, so the quick versions are:

RoE: Good spell to fall back on. Negated by a save, but 3/day makes it better.

DK: Decent. Extremely narrow use, but very good at what it does. A mediocre choice, but powerful if you can actually get the killing blow with it.

So. That leaves us with Sands of Time, a spell with no saving throw that instantly ages someone one age category up without granting them the age bonuses that usually come with an age-up. That is, at the very least, a -1 to Str, Con, and Dex which... Is not spectacular, really. But say someone is already middle aged? That means Sands of Time takes them to old age, and suddenly that’s a -3 to each of their physical ability scores. If you manage to swat an old enemy with it? They become venerable, and suddenly they’re buckling under the weight of a -6 penalty to Str/Con/Dex that lasts for 10 minutes per level.

Now, granted, Sands of Time loses a lot of its potency if you’re up against people in their 20s... or 120s, as ridiculous as it is, because the longer-lived races live really long and their age categories advance at a glacial pace. Unless the DM puts you up against exclusively human foes, it can be difficult to figure out how badly your Sands of TIme will affect someone; you may just end up giving them a meaningless -1 penalty which will get you killed instantly because I just saw that Sands of Time is a touch spell. Oops.

At the very least, you can also dump it on an object to accelerate its decay, dealing 3d6+1/lvl damage to it. It also works on Constructs and Undead in this way, dealing a decent chunk of damage with no save allowed. But, again, it’s a touch spell, and Exalted are fragile casters. That’s a pretty big damper on its usefulness.

Boon 2: Hunger of the Styx. 3/day upon successfully striking an enemy with a melee weapon, you may force them to make a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 your Hit Dice + Cha mod) or be stunned for 1 round and staggered for 1d4+1 rounds. On a successful save, they are still staggered for 1 round. This is a mind-affecting effect.

Not entirely sure why the Exalted, the caster class, gets a melee ability. On the other hand, it’s a very handy Get Out Of Jail Free card, since it automatically staggers whoever it hits regardless of whether or not they make their save, preventing the attacked enemy from taking full-attack (or full retreat) actions. If they actually FAIL their save, the encounter is more or less decided right there. This ability is an amazing Save-or-Suck that’s unfortunately stapled onto--wait a second when did Clerics and Oracles get 3/4ths BAB?

Nevermind! This ability’s amazing!! Provided you somehow have enough accuracy to strike an important enemy’s full AC (unless you have some weird melee weapon that hits touch AC), something that gets less and less likely as enemy CR rises.

Boon 3: Grasp of the Styx. 1/day, you may cast Grasping Hand as a spell-like ability. This hand is made up of the bubbling, black water of the Styx. Any creature grappled by the hand must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC 17+Cha mod) or gain 1 negative level.

Couldn’t spring for Crushing Hand, eh Charon? I suppose the negative level makes it good enough, despite the unfortunately low save needed to negate it, and the fact that foes you’d actually want to grapple are likely immune to negative levels.

Then again, even if you get it as early as possible, it still has a +28 to grapple checks (+17 caster level, +10 Str modifier, +1 size modifier) that only rises as you level. Even without the negative level, being able to partially paralyze a single opponent from medium range (100ft + 10ft/lvl) for 1 round/level is amazing if they don’t have allies capable of breaking the spell. A tall order, to be certain, but grappling an enemy caster for even one round can make a fight much easier.

The biggest weakness of any grappler, though, is Freedom of Movement, which most classes get around level 10 (except Cleric, which gets it at level 7). Now, since it has somatic components it can’t be cast while grappled, but with a 10min/level duration, if an enemy with the spell in their repertoire knows you’re coming they’ll slap it on themselves the instant you breach their fortress. Even against enemies immune to being grappled, the spell still finds some use by interposing itself between you and a chosen enemy, granting you +4 AC versus more or less everything it tries. So I suppose, in that case, it’s never completely useless.

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SENTINEL

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Boon 1: Death’s Crusader. Gain Mount 3/day, Wartrain Mount 2/day, or Phantom Steed 1/day

Please direct your eyeballs and/or other visual sensory organs to Trelmarixian’s page, because every Horseman gives the same Sentinel spell-likes.

Boon 2: On A Pale Horse. As a swift action, you may call upon the phantasmal image of the Pale Horse of Death, which takes up a 10ft square adjacent to you. As a move action which requires concentration, you may direct the Pale Horse to move up to 120ft in any direction or path you desire. It is unaffected by difficult terrain and may move over surfaces that would otherwise not bear its weight (water, ice, snow, glass, etc). Any creature the Pale Horse passes through must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 hit dice + Cha mod) or be struck with a -6 penalty to Constitution, Strength, and Dexterity, as though they had been suddenly struck venerable. Creatures who normally gain power as they age, such as dragons, gain the penalties instead. A creature may only be affected by the Pale Horse’s power once per round, no matter how many times it passes through their space. This is an aging, curse effect. The Pale Horse vanishes at the end of the round

Lets get one very, very important detail out of the way, one I think has to be a misprint: There’s no limit to how often you can use this power, so long as you give up your swift and move actions to do it. Harsh for the martial Sentinel, not so much for the spell-slinging Souldrinker.

The fact that there’s no limit to the horses you can conjure means you can try, try again if your opponent saves against the first round. Though age penalties cannot take an ability score below 1, a -6 to all of their physical ability scores still means that, among other things: they do 3 less damage with their attacks and have a -3 penalty to all attack rolls, they have a -3 penalty to Fortitude and Reflex saves, they gain 3 less HP per hit dice, have 3 less AC. Plus, if any of their scores are brought down to 1, any amount of ability damage beyond that will likely kill them (or render them helpless, which is the same thing). 120ft of movement is a HUGE range, and provided all of your enemies are lined up in a nice little row for you, it means you can potentially hit up to 24 people with a single use of this power!

And by the by, the penalties are permanent until cured by magic.

The fact that it’s both a curse and an aging effect means that some enemies are immune to it, but the potential in the Pale Horse to instantly debuff a whole crowd of enemies at the same time outweighs that fact. And besides, you still have your standard action to take even after you send the steed into the fray!

Boon 3: Death’s Call. 1/day, you may cast Wail of the Banshee as a spell-like ability, except it lacks a sonic component. Creatures affected seem to crumble to dust.

With the snap of your fingers and a whisper into the air, you can will people around you to just die. Wail of the Banshee is a very, very powerful spell, capable of hitting a 40ft burst of people within close range (25ft + 5ft/lvl) and weaving its power between allies and people you want to spare, dealing a flat 10 damage per level to everyone affected. Because Death’s Call is not audible, it may look to all the world like a crowd opposing you simply crumbled to dust with nothing more than a glance. You don’t actually HAVE to perform any motions, but come on! Who wouldn’t gently sweep their hand over a group of hapless fools, each one your hand passes over turning to a burst of dust as their allies look on in horror?

Who wouldn’t want to be Thanos snapping his fingers and ending half an enemy’s group?

Of course, there is the small, annoying fact that it’s a 1/day ability completely negated by a successful Fortitude save (DC 19 + Cha mod). Unlike with Implosion, though, the damage is sent out all at once and is launched at a range. However, it’s also a death effect, meaning that most high-end enemies will be outright immune to it.

It’ll kill or severely injure everyone with them, though. Plus, there’s always the delightful thought of walking into a crowded street with this and clearing yourself a path through them. It’s what Charon would have wanted.

You can read more about him here.

#End of the World Month #Spiritual Spotlight #Sinister Spotlight #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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ryanmeft · 5 years

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If Beale Street Could Talk Movie Review

After I saw If Beale Street Could Talk, I finally got around to reading some James Baldwin. As I write this, I’m immersed in a book collecting several of his works, which mostly deal with ordinary life. There’s not much in the way of melodrama in Barry Jenkins’s adaptation of his novel. There is a man behind bars for a crime he didn’t commit, his fiance who is pregnant, their families who must try to free him, the woman he is said to have raped, the racist and ignorant white cop. Not a bit of this is the stuff of potboilers; there is no thought of histrionics, and even when the jailed man cries, he tries to hold it in. This is just the life of African Americans in 1974, and tears will avail him not.

The man, Fonny, is played by Stephan James and the woman, Tish, by KiKi Layne, and each character is a study in the contortions anyone who is discriminated against must endure simply to live. The couple has trouble finding housing, with landlords citing imaginary deficiencies in the very souls of black people. They are eventually rented an under construction loft by a Jewish man (Dave Franco) who respects love wherever it is found, and they seem enthusiastic about this, because they are. If the world will not offer them a place, after all, they might as well make one. High drama could never capture the subtle emotions at play when Fonny and their new landlord pantomime moving their belongings into their future home. The film is told in a non-linear structure, so we already know that Fonny is in prison. He drew the attention of a white cop (Ed Skrein, who can play a side of beef but does not here) when he forcefully stopped a man from harassing Tish, in another one of those terrible moments where a black man is supposed to stand by and let a white one do whatever he wants or be arrested. He is defended by a white shop owner, but the cop later makes a point to coerce his identity out of a rape victim, even though the evidence doesn’t add up.

Now look at how Jenkins handles these things. Eventually, the victim (Emily Rios) is tracked down in Puerto Rico, and not at any point does she outright say that her identification of Fonny was coerced. She does not have to. It is in the look in her eyes, the set of her shoulders, the unspoken reason she went to Puerto Rico in the first place. Do we hurt for her because she was assaulted, be angry at her because she is willing to punish an innocent man to spare herself pain, or a mixture of both? This ambiguity is also present in Tish and Fonny’s attempts to get him freed. They know the truth: that they cannot prove his innocence because the white officer will be believed regardless of the facts. They cannot speak it, and when one of them does they instantly regret it. Why even state the inevitable? To crush all hope?

On most levels the film is about two ordinary people living under an extraordinary system. For the system is extraordinary in the truest sense of the word: a remarkably efficient and successful engine geared toward the single goal of punishing human beings for being black. On another level it is about that system and the entire plight of a race. This other level is handled with what seems like Baldwin’s own words, put into the thoughts of Tish as she reflects on their situation. Unlike Spike Lee’s BlackkKlansman, which broke into scenes of beatings and injustices with the invoked fury of a sun, Jenkins and Baldwin’s interjections are languid, even calming, a sure and simple reminder that the world is unjust and that it will take a long time, and a long fight, until it is not. Go Tell It On The Mountain, the Baldwin book I am reading, is less concerned with the big picture than with the small, personal details. Perhaps it is because he knew that is how big pictures are made.

Witness the scene in which a divided family comes together for the revealing of Tish’s pregnancy. Her mother (Regina King) is her rock, solid and steady, while her sister (Teyonah Parris) is her champion, fiery and fighting. Her father (Colman Domingo) is less sure how to react, and fearful of what his daughter faces as a single black mother in New York in the 70’s, but it is fear borne of love. Fonny’s mother (Aunjanue Ellis) is another case, a religious fanatic both hateful and self-hating, one of those people who uses God to appear holier to others while playing at false humility. Yes, I realize her character can be seen other ways, but no, I do not feel I’m being unfair. Just because a person is themselves hurting does not mean they are worthy of compassion, and it takes a monster to condemn an unborn child which has no say in coming. The scene of the two families meeting can make blood boil, and yet it does not feel forced, for as we know there are such people in the world. She causes so much harm with words, and is ready to cause far more to prove her righteousness, that when her ex-husband (Michael Beach) finally rises and slaps her, it’s impossible to feel she hadn’t earned it. It’s a small but daring role on Ellis’s part. When a character’s entire job is to be hated in an unrealistic, movie-screen manner, we get over it quickly, but Ellis’s job is to play a perfectly realistic terrible person. That there is no screenwriter’s resolution to this---that we must assume this woman remains her terrible self, for we do not see her again---fits with the movie’s message that justice is far from certain. Other family moments, such as Tish’s parents dancing in front of a mirror or the two fathers discussing their roles over drinks, are not there to advance the plot, but just to show us a family being a family.

The film is not backed so much as carried gently along in a masterful, haunting score by Nicholas Britell; the hypnotic theme “Eden (Harlem)”, a loaded title, and the track “Agape” were heavily featured in trailers. The camera of James Laxton, who has worked on all three of Jenkins’ films, paints Harlem in earthy, fall colors, a soft contrast to the racism that plagues the city and the solid, imposing prison glass between Tish and Fonny. Witness his work in the scene of the family meeting, and as the vile stepmother is being led out. The way he frames expressions has been a key component of every film I’ve seen of his, and is vital frequently throughout this picture.

In the rush by white people to gain liberal points for praising black cinema, attention is almost always laser focused on popular entertainment---action films like Black Panther, horror films like Get Out, things anyone can find at the local multiplex and which do not require long thought. It is considerably more difficult, and therefore rewarding, to appreciate a movie like Beale Steet, which does not condense its message into simple talking points. I suspect it will quickly be ignored in the discussion, just as Moonlight’s existence is ignored by those who wish to push a certain narrative, and just as Fruitvale Station is ignored by the same people who make a big show of loving Coogler’s more populist Marvel film. This isn’t exclusive to black cinema: movies that take their time and do not cater will never be as popular as those that do. It’s a shame. Beale Street is a film we need right now, a gentle yet somehow pointed reminder that in every game of oppression, most are unwilling players, and simply want to live quiet, happy lives with their families. That the film almost trails off rather than stamping punctuation on the end is truer, and braver, than any grand speech could ever be.

Verdict: Must-See

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

You can follow Ryan's reviews on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/ryanmeftmovies/

Or his tweets here:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

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thesimplyluxuriouslife · 6 years

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188: 18 Secrets & Lessons from the French Culture to Begin 2018

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #188

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio

"But I love New Year's Day, because I can never get over the generosity of the fact that we all get a BRAND NEW YEAR, totally for FREE — with no dents, or dinks, or mistakes yet. It's the ultimate REFRESH button." —Elizabeth Gilbert

With 2018 just two weeks away, I am, as I am with each new years, inclined to be quite excited for a fresh start. No matter what the current year shared with me, surprised or delighted me with, the gift of a chance to improve is a priceless opportunity that only arrives once every 365 days. And so, I readily choose to seize it and apply what I have learned over the past 12 months and put it to practice, to improve upon who I reveal myself to be the previous year. As I look ahead to the new year with plans to finally get back to France since far too long ago (2013), I couldn't help but look to my collection of French living and culture books which I didn't fully realized is as plentiful as it turned out to be in my personal library (a sampling captured recently of many of my French themed books) for inspiration as to how to step forward into 2018. Below I've gathered 18 quotes of wisdom, insights and inspiration for beginning anew, renewed and brilliantly rested and ready to make 2018 the year we wish it to be.

You Know More Than You Realize

1."a quarter to a third of all English words come from French, and good thing; otherwise, learning this language would be even harder than it is." —William Alexander in Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me & Nearly Broke My Heart

Read Books Like You Need Them to Breathe

2. "France retains a reverence for the printed book. As independent bookstores crash and burn in the United States, the market here is healthier, largely thanks to government protections that treat the stores as national treasures . . . in France, booksellers —including Amazon —may not discount books more than 5 percent below the publisher's list price." —Elaine Sciolino in The Only Street in Paris: Life on the Rue des Martyrs

The Gift of a Balanced Life is a Beautiful Life to Savor

3. "So here is a trilogy: food/movement/know thyself. Again, these are important elements in my life and also in the lives of French women who don't get fat (and perhaps do not want or need facelifts)." —Mireille Guiliano in French Women Don't Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style & Attitude

Trust Your Journey, and As You Travel, Just Be Yourself

4. "'Seize the moment . . . pay attention to your life right now' . . . What I failed to see, sitting around the coffee table on those nights, was the possibility that I didn't have to keep looking for a family to belong to; I could create one of my own. I had conflated my deep need to belong to something bigger than myself with a more superficial need to fit in, to look and dress and act like others. But fitting in is not belonging. This seems so clear now, but at the time I didn't understand the difference. I was still floating between New York and Paris, at least in the sense that my identity was tied to both cities. I lived in New York and worked at a New Yorker's pace, but I couldn't let go of Paris —Paris, which had shaped me more deeply than college or even my Manhattan childhood. Returning to Paris felt as if I was reawakening some part of myself that had been asleep since I'd left." —Kate Betts in My Paris Dream: An Education in Style, Slang and Seduction in the Great City on the Seine

On Style: Mix It Up

5. "Forget the 'total look.' Frenchwomen love to mix and match. Pascale Camart, womenswear buying manager for the Galeries Lafayette, told me that having designer labels next to ordinary ones on the same floor was 'on purpose. The Frenchwoman likes to put different things together.' The Parisienne, she says, doesn't buy evening dresses. She sticks with basics and then finds the one distinctive jacket or scarf or top that will make the ensemble a knockout." —Harriet Welty Rochefort in Joie de Vivre: Secrets of Wining, Dining and Romancing Like the French

The Importance of Elevating the Everyday

6. " You don't go overboard, exhausting yourself over the holidays when you make every day an occasion for friendship and family, fun and celebration." —Jamie Cat Callan in Bonjour, Happiness: Secrets to Finding Your Joie de Vivre

Choose Quality in Your Food and in Your Life to Elevate the Experience

7. "Édith Piaf famously sang, Non, je ne regrette rien ('No, I regret nothing'). Although I have my share of regrets, using good chocolate to make a soufflé is never one of them." —David Lebovitz in L'Appart: The Delights and Disasters of Making My Paris Home

Let Your Body Tell You What It Needs and Listen

8. "She knows exactly what she has 'a taste' for, and once she's had enough, that's it. She eats what she wants, when she wants it, until she is satisfied. Food is not a moral or emotional issue for her. She does not describe foods as good or bad; to her they are neutral, just food." —Carol Cottrill in The French Twist: Twelve Secrets of Decadent Dining and Natural Weight Management

The Essence of Real Beauty Goes Beyond the Surface

9. "Style without substance is unacceptable, largely because it's boring, one-dimensional. In France, it's inadmissible to provoke ennui. Real style is built upon a solid foundation of informed intelligence, quick wit, and an impressive panopoly of culture references. One must hold her own in a lively conversation. The essence of beauty is to continue educating oneself and constantly to learn something new. Simply put: these are the keys to eternal youth." Tish Jett in Forever Chic: Frenchwomen's Secrets for Timeless Beauty, Style and Substance

Keep Persevering to Create More 'Luck' in Your Life

10. "Persevering is often not simply a matter of working hard and refusing to quit; often, by trying again, failing again, and failing better, we inadvertently place ourselves in the way of luck. Yet another reason to keep on keeping on." —Karen Karbo in Julia Child Rules: Lessons on Savoring Life

Cooking Need Not Be Complicated & Thus an Necessary Element of Socializing Well in Everyday Life

11. "Yes, Parisians have more fun when they go out. But they're also ten times less likely to eat out. And in Paris, there's no ordering in —you cook. It's simple cooking, really: You can have five friends over, create a fast, delicious pasta with zucchini and mint. Or you just buy cheese, figs, wine and call it a night." — Garance Doré in Love, Style, Life

Opening Your World to Other Languages & Cultures Deepens Appreciation and Perspective

12. "Linguists call America 'the graveyard of languages' because of its singular ability to take in millions of immigrants and extinguish their native languages in a few generations. A study of thirty-five nations found that 'in no other country . . . did the rate of the mother tongue shift toward (English) monolingualism approach the radity of that found in the United States.' Immigrants to America lose languages quickly; natives of America fail to acquire them. Only 18 percent of American schoolchildren are enrolled in foreign language courses, while 94 percent of European high-school students are studying English." —Lauren Collins in When in French: Love in a Second Language

Incorporate the Arts into Your Life

13. "As often as you can, take an evening off and seek out the arts. Attend the ballet, visit an art show at your local coffee shop, go see an independent theatre, attend a symphony performance or a rock concern. These moments are often too few and far between, especially when family and work life seem to always come first. Indulging in the pleasure of the arts feels decadent and is a magnificent way to recharge your soul. Purchase your tickets in advance. Knowing that you are going to attend the ballet in three weeks gives you something delightful to look forward to." — Jennifer L. Scott in At Home with Madame Chic

Luck is Hard Earned

14. "In truth, her luck was not yet finished. Not even close. These two daring shipments were to make her one of the most famous women in Europe and her wine one of the most highly prized commodities of the nineteenth century. As Louis told her, it was a succes born out of 'your judicious manner of operating, your excellent wine, and the marvelous similarity of your ideas, which produced the most splendid unity and action and execution — we did it well, and I give a million thanks to the bounty of the divine Providence who saw fit to make me one of his instrument in your future well-being . . . certainly you merit all the glory possible after your misfortunes, your perseverance, and your obvious talents.'" —Tilar J. Mazzeo in The Widow Clicquot: The Story of a Champagne Empire and the Woman Who Ruled It

On What Is Worth Appreciating and Savoring

15. "The weight of history means that the French don't wipe the slate clean to make way for progress the way Americans do. Because of their centuries-old attachment to the land, restriction is their second nature, not expansion. The French have completely different ideas about what's public and what's private, and those ideas influence how they think about money, morality, eating, manners, conversation, and even political accountability. The French glorify what's elevated and grand, not what's common and accessible. They value form as much as content. And finally, they created many of their instituions to try to deal with the after-affects of two major wars. These factors don't add up to a neat picture that diametrically opposes French and Anglo-Americans. They just explain a lot about why the French think the way they do. Unless Americans recognize these differences, they will never understand the French." —Jean-Benoît Nadeau & Julie Barlow in Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong: Why We Love France, but Not the French

Stop and Nourish Your Body & Mind Daily

16. "No matter how fraught our workload, we stop and have a proper meal. It helps us calm our brains and bodies, and we know we will work more efficiently afterward." —Mathilde Thomas in The French Beauty Solution: Time-Tested Secrets to Look and Feel Beautiful Inside and Out

The Importance of Quality Living for the Individual Living It, Not for Outward Applause

17. "Ambition—another virtue that becomes a vice when taken too seriously. Time is not money for the French. It's an ephemeral currency and should be spent doing the things that make life worth living. Remember, the French woman might have an acute sense of breveity of time and the immediacy of pleasure; that said, she also has a strong predilection to enjoy not only the finer things in life but the things that make life fine." —Debra Ollivier in What French Women Know: About Love, Sex and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind

Let Your Dreams Lead the Way and Never Stop Striving Forward

18. "Willa Carter believed that if you have a wish for something from a young age and you nourish it, if you continually make an effort to nurture this wish and stay connected to this dream, then you will live a fulfilled life. If you believe in something, it invests everything you do with meaning. Paris has always stayed with me, close to me, and I've continually felt nourished by it." —Kate Betts in My Paris Dream: An Education in Style, Slang, and Seduction in the Great City on the Seine At the core of living well is appreciating the value of now and tempering longings and future hopes so that we are soley living in the future. Our lives are indeed right now. Just for a moment, examine where you were in your life one year ago today, now five years ago, now 10. Could you have precisely known where you would be when looking toward the future as your younger self? The future is exciting, but as many of the sage words remind, it is often the simple, the patient and present that make life truly fulfilling. Thank you for stopping by, and remember to stop by next Monday when the Top Episodes of 2017 will be shared. A new episode will return on Monday January 1st with Francophile author Jamie Cat Callan (her new book Parisian Charm School: French Secrets for Cultivating Love, Joy and that Certain je ne sais quoi will be released on January 2, 2018) as well as an excited giveaway for listeners and readers (hint: it is something for your kitchen). ~Tune in to French-Living inspired posts/episodes from the Archives: ~#4: 10 Ways to Unearth Your Inner Francophile ~#23: The French Way: How to Create a Luxurious Everyday Life ~#32: The Francophile Style Guide: The 14 Essentials ~#96: Everyday Living in France - My Interview with Sharon Santoni ~#127: 20 Ways to Live Like a Parisienne ~#144: 20 Ways to Incorporate Your Love for the French Culture into Your Everyday ~#151: 10 Style Tips to Embrace the French Woman's Approach to Effortless Chic ~#155: 6 Life Lessons for Living Well from Julia Child ~#167: My Good Life in France: Author Janine Marsh ~#168: Everyday Living with Author & Blogger Sharon Santoni ~#169: Understanding the French Culture: My Interview with Géraldine Lepere of Comme une Française ~#182: David Leibovitz Talks About Making Paris His Home ~Check out the new addition to TSLL destination: The Simply Luxurious Kitchen. Have a look at the pilot episode below and learn more about this new venture into vodcasting in which we will focus on "Seasonal fare to elevate the everyday meal" here.

Petit Plaisir:

~Salmon en Papillote (Salmon in Paper) - view the entire recipe here

Sponsors for today’s episode:

Birchbox

use code sophisticate to save 20% off all gift subscriptions through 12/25

Birchbox in France

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Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

#tsllpodcast thesimplesophisticate

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newyorktheater · 4 years

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The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is going online. (Check out the thirty below.) Now, officially; the oldest and largest fringe festival has been canceled because of the pandemic. But the festival wants to “Keep the Fringe spirit alive” by encouraging theater companies to put their shows online. This offers New York theatergoers a chance to get a Fringe fix in August for the first time since 2016, when the International Fringe Festival celebrated its 20th anniversary, then shut down for a year — and then announced it was moving to Octobe

Edinburgh’s Fringe is not New York’s Fringe. It’s unjuried, and it’s….overwhelming. In 2018, there were reportedly 3,548 different shows performed in 317 venues; in 2019, more than three million people attended, which was more than six times the entire population of this city in Scotland. The New York Fringe never had more than 75,000 theatergoers attending some (juried) 200 shows in 16 venues.

There was never a way to offer an adequate preview of the Edinburgh Fringe (the way I did every year of the New York Fringe), and it’s not much easier now when Edinburgh is coming to your living room — or, in at least one case, your bathroom.

“Play In Your Bathtub,” an audio play that I reviewed when it debuted in April is going to Edinburgh. It’s one of eighty shows “all written and produced in lockdown” that are being presented for free over the next three weeks at The Space UK, which this year is a virtual space. This is just one venue at Virtual Edinburgh, but even 80 is too much. So below are the 30 that are going online starting this Saturday, August 8th at TheSpaceUK website. A new batch of roughly the same number will go online every Saturday for the rest of August. Click on each poster to read the descriptions.

For what it’s worth, the ones that most intrigue me include two from the Edinburgh-based Anomaly Theatre Company: “Interrodated, “He thinks he’s interrogating a suspect. She thinks she’s on a blind date. This is not going to end well.” “Glitch” A driverless car runs over a woman, and has to learn grief. and “Bookshelf Ballad,” in which the books we always see behind the TV pundits are given voice to say what THEY are thinking.

after/before Out of Kilter Theatre Struggling with feelings of loss and detachment Alicia, waking from a vivid dream, is disorientated; is she really awake? Then an unlikely companion offers an opportunity to find an answer … and perhaps a chance for the contact she craves. @outofkiltermcr

After the Turn: The Mystery of Bly Manor Nine Knocks Theatre Five years after the tragedy of Bly Manor, the world wants answers. Now researchers begin to uncover the sinister truth. Based on Henry James’ The Turn of the Screw, Nine Knocks presents a modernised tale of the ghosts within ourselves. @Nine_Knocks

At the Ghostlight Blue Fire Theatre Co. An Elizabethan Superstar and a heroine of Music Hall meet at the theatre ghostlight and have a “water cooler moment”. Whilst they muse over their life choices, the stars of their rivals, Will Shakespeare and Marie Lloyd shine ever brighter. @bluefire_tc

Awakening The Nottingham New Theatre ‘AWAKENING’ explores the dangers of forced ignorance and deception when it comes to the lives of young people; a group of schoolchildren trying to navigate the unknowns of adolescence leads to disastrous consequences. @thenewtheatre

Being Posy Four in a Bed Theatre Company A reflective look at coming of age, coming out and coming some conclusions. Written during lockdown uncertainty, Posy explores sexuality, friendships and standing out whilst fitting in this light hearted and heart warming show.

Bookshelf Ballad Anne Rabbitt What are the books saying behind the TV pundits? Using only titles found on her own shelves, Anne gives them voice in a poignant poem that is both tender and funny. You’ll never arrange your books alphabetically again. @RabbittAnne

Boom Room Our Star Theatre Company Adrian bravely attempts to enter the Boom Room for a school reunion. However, technological and personal challenges along the way lead to an experience that will probably resound with many people right now, as he struggles to be digitally woke! @ourstartheatre

Bubble Show with Dr Bubble and Milkshake Bubble Laboratory Ecological Bubble Show presents different ways we can save the planet through bubbles. Physical comedy with environmental awareness and bubbles, it contains square and smoke-filled bubbles, rainbows, spinning carousels, vortexes, juggle bubbles, bubble snakes, floating bubbles and a grand finale.

Coronavirus Underwood’s New Taskforce Grubby Gnome Productions Goodly folks the country over volunteer to help the aged and infirm during lockdown. Except in Underwood, where the people who volunteer have ulterior motives more to do with helping themselves rather than others. Apart from Felicity of course.

Defying GraviTT The Fabulous TT With 2020 hindsight (magnified by her new designer reading glasses) The Fabulous TT aka Tish Tindall asks where the year has gone, why she will never be painted green, and what on earth happened to her under-there-webcam-wear? @FabMusicals

Detachment Blueberry Goose Theatre Group A 10-minute drama, set in COVID-19 lockdown and inspired by real events, about lust, betrayal, revenge and tins of pain(t). @goose_group

Glitch Anomaly Theatre Company First we taught Artificial Intelligence to drive. Then we taught it to feel. But when a driverless car runs over Neil’s girlfriend, both Neil and the A.I. are having to learn grief. Is emotion just a glitch in our programming? @AnomalyTheatre

Haunted Three Chairs and a Hat Do you believe in ghosts? When there’s no-one else in the house, it can be difficult to decide. Three Chairs and a Hat present HAUNTED, a study of isolation and obsession, written and performed by Nia Williams. @ChairsHat

Hyper-Nice: Passive Aggresive Co-vid Poetry David Watson Comedy Poetry born in lockdown . The new hell of the Friday night zoom cocktail hour and the schadenfreude behind the Thursday Clap provide the subject matter for poetry @hypernice2

Interrodated Anomaly Theatre Company He thinks he’s interrogating a suspect. She thinks she’s on a blind date. This is not going to end well. @AnomalyTheatre

Lockdown Drag-out Batty Hatsters At first, Audrey revels in the unexpected gift of time at home, but outside influences force changes that could destroy her and all she has worked so hard to achieve.

Love , Loss and Quarantine The Swells A brief story with three songs, rejoicing in new-found love during lockdown after the pain of personal bereavement. A 15-minute show that was put together two metres apart without breathing!

Play in Your Bathtub Flying Solo! and This Is Not A Theatre Company This Immersive Audio Spa for Physical Distancing is a site-specific immersive experience taking place in your own bathtub (or a foot bath or bucket of water). Join us for poetry, singing, and Dances for Small Appendages. Soundtrack at [email protected] @notatheatreco

Rehearsal Etiquette Swell Theatre This short play captures one small theatre company’s attempt to rehearse for their new musical during lockdown, an online rehearsal spirals into chaos as they discover that rehearsing online is easier said than done. @swelltheatre

The Silly and Unnecessary Variety Show Lori Hamilton Live from New York, it’s comedian Lori Hamilton’s one-woman variety show. Featuring Opera Product Placement • Lori’s Cats Tell Kid’s Jokes • Winning at Work During Covid • A Tipsy Midwest Mom • Audience Questions!! What more could you ask for? Cats @TheLoriHamilton

Spring The Nottingham New Theatre ‘SPRING’ tells the story of a group of teenagers, as they rebel against their controlling parents, struggle to navigate love, and deal with tragedies around them; they begin to discover their individuality, their sexuality, and ultimately their freedom of choice. @thenewtheatre

The Murder(ed) Musketeers Highly Suspect Join acclaimed ‘Mystery maestros’ Highly Suspect for a hilarious interactive online murder mystery which you, the audience, must solve! There’s a fiendish plot, evidence to examine, and cryptic clues to crack, but can you catch the killer and deduce whodunnit

The Plague Thing Putney Theatre Company Enid’s enjoyment of her twilight years has been overshadowed by government guidelines produced for care homes in response to a global pandemic. In this moving monologue, Enid invites you into her world in the age of lockdown. @PutneyTheatreCo

The Van Raised Voices Life is hard just now, for everyone. For those who’s life was hard before though, well you can imagine. Watch a snapshot into the lives of some who struggled with everyday life in normal times, you might just be surprised.

The Writings on the Wallpaper Paper Dolls Theatre A light-hearted comedy following the clueless Tim and Samantha, as they sit down to interview hopeful applicants for their brand new tech firm. Get your CV ready as we beg the question… ‘on the scale of 1 to 10’ @paperdolls2020

Those Girls JAM Productions Those Girls shines a light on the important issues riddling our youth today: sexual abuse, discrimination and mental health. Award winner, Abigail Cook’s poem, “How We Survive (Girlhood)” is reinvented and reimagined in this striking, hopeful piece of digital theatre.

Too bored to stay in, too scared to go out! Nigel Osner Cabaret songs and monologues reflecting the varying implications of Covid-19 for male and female characters. ‘Tremendously talented and very entertaining’ and Fringe Review said ’a performer with finesse and charm’ (Scotsman) @nigelosner

Under Heaven’s Eyes Christopher Tajah A new 45 minute solo-play which asks; Did George Floyd’s killing mark a turning point for real change or another false dawn? While exploring how systemic and systematic societal racism squeezes’ BAME communities to the margins. @ctajahofficial

Until the Ad Break Maverick Charles Productions Until the Ad Break is an absurd comedy sketch set just before the end of the world. Follow plucky daytime TV hosts Francine, Dale, and their weather reporter Gabriel as they come to terms with impending apocalypse live on air. @MCharlesProd

When Judas Met John – songs of Dylan and Lennon Brothers Broke Irish duo Brothers Broke compare, adapt and perform selected songs by both artists, and consider their compositions and influences on each other.Presented in an acoustic bluesy style with tight sibling harmonies.

Edinburgh Fringe in Your Home! The Edinburgh Fringe Festival is going online. (Check out the thirty below.) Now, officially; the oldest and largest fringe festival has been canceled because of the pandemic.

#Edinburgh Fringe #Fringe

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fardell24b · 6 years

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Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space - Chapter 26 - The Lazarus Experiment Part 2

As they re-entered the building, the Doctor used the sonic screwdriver to fuse the door shut. Marth turned to Tish. “Are you OK?”

“I was going to snog him!”

The lights flickered as Lazarus tried to break in. “I don't think this is time to be talking about that,” Felicia remonstrated.

“Security one, security one, security one.”

The lights then all went out and doors closed. “What's happening?” Martha asked.

“An intrusion. It triggers a security lockdown. Kills most of the power. Stops the lifts, seals the exits,” Tish explained.

“He must be breaking through that door. The stairs, come on!” the Doctor said.

As soon as they reached the stairs, they heard the door crash down. “He's inside!” Martha called out.

“We haven't got much time!” the Doctor said.

They soon reached the reception room.

“Tish is there another way out of here?” the Doctor asked.

“There's an exit in the corner, but it'll be locked now.”

The Doctor turned to Felicia. “You know how to use this?” he asked holding up the sonic.

“A little,” Felicia admitted.

The Doctor threw it to her. “Setting 54. Hurry,” he said.

Felicia moved into action and began sonicing the security console.

The Doctor turned to the crowd. “Listen to me! You people are in serious danger! You need to get out of here right now!”

“Don't be ridiculous,” a woman objected. “The biggest danger here is choking on an olive!”

Then Lazarus appeared, still in his altered state, and jumped down. The crowd became paniced!

“Mum, get back!” Leo shouted.

“Leo!” Francine shouted as a table sent flying by Lazarus hit him.

Martha ran to attend to her brother.

“Over here! Everyone, downstairs now! Hurry!” Felicia called.

Lazarus stood over a petrified woman. “No! Get away from her!” the Doctor cried.

Unfortunately, Lazarus used his tail to suck the woman dry!

Francine turned to her son. “Leo! Leo!”

Lazarus turned.

“Lazarus! Leave them alone!” the Doctor called as Martha ran to her family.

She cradled Leo in her arms. “Come on, stay with me. You're OK.”

“What's the point? You can't control it. The mutation's too strong. Killing those people won't help you. You're a fool. A vain old man who thought he could defy nature. Only Nature got her own back, didn't she? You're a joke, Lazarus! A footnote in the history of failure!” He gestured to Felicia. She handed the sonic over to Martha and followed him as lead Lazarus down a corridor.

“What are they doing?” Tish asked.

“They're trying to buy some time. Let's not waste it...”

The Doctor and Felicia were down in the basement with Lazarus. “It's no good, Doctor. You can't stop me.”

“Is that the same arrogance you had when you swore nothing had gone wrong with your device?”

“The arrogance is yours. You can't stand in the way of progress,” Lazarus said.

“You call feeding on innocent people progress? Your delusional!”

“It is a necessary sacrifice,” Lazarus said.

“Who are you to make that decision?” Felicia called out.

“It's not yours!” the Doctor added.

Meanwhile Tish found that the guests were trapped. “We can't get out we're trapped!” she said.

“There must be an override switch. Where's the security desk?” Martha asked. Her sister wasn't responding. “Tish!”

Tish pointed to it. “There!”

Martha ran and jumped over the desk and waved the sonic over the console. The doors opened, and the crowd streamed out.

Once out Martha knew she had to go back. “I have to go back!”

“You can't! You saw what that thing did! It'll kill you,” Francine objected.

“I don't care. I have to go.”

“It's that Doctor, isn't it. That's what happened to you. That's why you've changed.”

“They were buying us time, Martha. Time for you to get out too,” Tish said.

“I'm not leaving him!” Martha said as she turned away.

“Martha!”

The Doctor and Felicia were in a laboratory. The Doctor had exposed the electric wiring in the light fittings, while Felicia had opened all the gas taps.

“More hide and seek, Doctor? How disappointing. Why don't you come out and face me?” Lazarus asked as he entered the laboratory.

Felicia dashed out.

“Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why would I want to face that, hmm?” the Doctor then dashed out after his companion. He hit the light switch as he did so.

KABOOM! The gas went up.

Martha heard the explosion and rounded a corner, almost running into Felicia. “What are you doing here?” the Doctor asked.

Martha held out the sonic. “I'm returning this. I thought you might need it.”

“How did you...”

“I heard the explosion. I guessed it was you,” Martha said.

“We blasted Lazarus!” Felicia said, with shortness of breath.

“Was he killed?” Martha asked.

As if on cue they heard Lazarus cry out.

“More like angered, I'd say,” the Doctor said.

The Doctor, Martha and Felicia came back to the device that had altered Lazarus. “What now? We've just gone round in a circle,” Martha said.

“We can't lead him outside. Come on, get in,” the Doctor directed.

“Is this such a good idea?” Felicia asked as she got in.

“Are we hiding?” Martha asked.

“No, he knows we're here. But this is his masterpeice. I'm betting he won't destroy it, not even to get at us.”

“But we're trapped,” Martha objected.

“Well, yeah, that's a slight problem,” the Doctor admitted.

“You mean, you don't have a plan?” Martha asked.

“Yes, the plan was to get inside here.”

“Then what?” Felicia asked.

“Well, then I'd come up with another plan.”

After a brief struggle, the Doctor brought the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket.

“What're you going to do with that?”

“Improvise,” the Doctor answered. He slid down to the floor and opened a panel.

“I still don't understand where that thing came from. It is alien?” Martha asked.

“No, for once it's strictly human,” the Doctor answered, not pausing in his work.

“Hard to believe,” Felicia whispered.

“How can it be human?”

“Probably from dormant genes in Lazarus' DNA. The energy field in this thing must have reactivated them. And it looks like they're becoming dominant.

“That's some throwback!” Felicia said.

“Some option that evolution rejected for you millions of years ago, but the potential is still there. Locked away in your genes, forgotten about until Lazarus unlocked it by mistake.”

“It's like Pandora's box?” Martha asked.

“Exactly,” the Doctor said, then complimenting both Martha and Felicia on their shoes.

Suddenly a sound came from outside.

“Is that what I think it is?” Felicia asked.

“Yes. He has switched the machine on!” the Doctor said.

“And that's not good, is it?” Martha asked.

“Well. I was hoping that it was going to take him a little bit longer to work that out.” the Doctor answered.

“I don't want to hurry you, but...” Martha said.

“I know, I know. Nearly done!” the Doctor said.

“What are you doing?” Felicia asked.

“I'm trying to set the capsule to reflect energy rather than receive it.”

“Will that kill it?” Martha asked.

“When he transforms, he's three times his size. Cellular triplication. So he's spreading himself thin.”

“We're going to end up like him!” Martha said in panic.

“Just one more!”

Outside, the capsule reflected the energy, knocking the monster, that Lazarus had become, out.

The Doctor and his companions exited the capsule. “I thought we were going through the blender then,” Martha said.

“It was quite close,” Felicia added.

“Really shouldn't take that long just to reverse the polarity. I must be a bit out of practice,” the Doctor remonstrated.

“Here he is,” Felicia said as they came to the corpse of Richard Lazarus. Human again, but still young looking.

“Oh, he looks so human again. It looks kind of pitful,” Martha commented.

“Elliot saw that, too. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.”

Outside, as the paramedics loaded what was left of Lazarus into a waiting ambulance, Francine Jones confronted the Doctor.

“Ah, Mrs. Jones, still haven't finished our chat.”

Francine slapped him hard across the face. “Keep away from my daughter!”

Martha was scandalised. “Mum, what are you doing?”

“All of the mothers, every time,” the Doctor complained.

“You're not meeting mine,” Felicia murmured, uncertain what her mother would make of any of his incarnations she had met so far...

“He is dangerous. I've been told things,” Francine said.

“What are you talking about?” Martha asked.

“Look around you. Nothing but death and destruction,” Francine answered.

The Ambulance left.

“It would have been worse without him!” Felicia said.

“He saved all of us!” Martha said.

“And it was Tish who invited everyone to this thing in the first place. I'd say technically, it's her fault,” Leo said.

Tish elbowed her brother in the ribs.

The Doctor ran off as he heard the ambulance crash, Felicia right behind him.

“Leave him,” Francine directed.

Martha shook her head and followed.

“Martha?” Tish asked.

“Not you too!”

“Sorry,” Tish said.

The Doctor, Felicia, Martha and Tish soon found the ambulance, empty of life. Empty of Lazarus, but not of corpses...

“Lazarus, back from the dead. Should have known, really,” the Doctor said.

“Where's he gone?” Martha asked.

The Doctor's gaze followed the path of destruction that Lazarus had left behind. “That way, the church,” he said.

“Cathedral. It's Southwark Cathedral. He told me,” Tish said.

They soon entered the Cathedral.

“Do you think he's in here?” Martha asked.

“Where else would he be?” Felicia asked.

“He's looking for sanctuary, where else would he go?” the Doctor asked.

Carefully, they go deeper into the Cathedral...

They eventually find him up the nave to the altar.

“I came here before, a lifetime ago. I thought I was going to die then. In fact, I was sure of it. I sat here, just a child, the sound of planes and bombs outside.”

“The Blitz,” the Doctor said.

“You've read about it.”

“I was there.”

“You're too young.”

“So are you.”

Lazarus laughed. His body made cracking sounds. “In the morning, the fires had died, and I was still alive. I swore I'd never face death like that again. So defenseless. I would arm myself, fight back, defeat it.”

“That's what you were trying to do today?” the Doctor asked.

“That's what I did today.”

“What about the other people who died?”

“They were nothing. I changed the course of history.”

“Any of them might have done too. You think history's only made with equations? Facing death is part of being human. You can't change that.”

“No, Doctor. Avoiding death, that's being human. It's our strongest impulse, to cling to life with every fibre of being. I'm only doing what everyone before me has tried to do. I've simply been more successful.

“Look at yourself. You're mutating! You've no control over it. You call that a success?” the Doctor shot back.

“I call it progress. I'm more now than I was. More than just an ordinary human.”

“There is no such thing as an ordinary human.”

Lazarus convulsed!

“He's going to change again any minute,” Martha said quietly to the others.

“I know. If I can get him into the bell tower somehow, I've got an idea that might work,” the Doctor said.

“The bell tower?” Felicia asked/

“You're so sentimental, Doctor. Maybe you're older than you look.”

“I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of loosing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone.”

“That's a price worth paying,” Lazarus replied.

“Is it?” the Doctor asked.

“I will feed soon!”

“I'm not going to let that happen!”

“You've not been able to stop me so far.”

“Leave him, Lazarus! He's old and bitter. I thought you had a taste for fresher meat,” Martha taunted.

“Martha, no!”

Lazarus lunged at Martha. She ran, followed by Tish and Felicia.

“What are you doing?” Martha asked.

“Keeping you out of trouble,” Tish said.

“I'm not sure this is a good idea!” Felicia said. “But we have to stop him! Somehow.”

“Doctor! The Tower!”

…

“Take him to the top. The very top of the bell tower, do you hear me?” the Doctor called.

“Up to the top!”

…

The three young women managed to get to the top of the bell tower ahead of Lazarus in his mutated form.

“Great, we're bait!” Felicia said.

“Can we trust him?” Tish asked.

Felicia nodded.

“We have to,” Martha said.

“He knows what he is doing,” Felicia said.

The Doctor started playing the organ.

The Mutant attacked the trio, lashing out at Martha with his tail...

Ultimately, Lazarus fell from the bell tower.

“Martha? Tish? Felicia?”

“We're okay!” Tish said as Felicia helped Martha back onto the wooden walkway.

“Thanks,” Martha said to Felicia.

“You're welcome, but it's the Doctor who really defeated him,” Felicia said.

“Who is he?” Tish asked.

“He's,” Martha paused and looked at Felicia.

Felicia shrugged.

Martha turned back to her sister. “He's the Doctor.”

Back on the floor of the Cathedral. Lazarus had turned back into his older self upon death. Martha came up, as the Doctor closed his eyes. “I didn't know you could play?”

“Oh, well, you know, if you hang around with Beethoven, you're bound to pick a few things up,” the Doctor said.

TARDIS

“There we are, on our way,” the Doctor said to Martha and Felicia, as the TARDIS dematerialised from Martha's flat.

“I hope I didn't influence your decision,” Felicia asked Martha.

“No, no, I guess I wanted his invitation,” Martha said.

“Sure.”

“And we're on our way, looking for your Doctor, Felicia.”

“Cool.”

The Doctor flipped a switch on the console. “Allon-sy!”

#changes in time and space #doctor who #fan fiction #martha jones #tenth doctor #the lazarus experiment

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zillowcondo · 6 years

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188: 18 Secrets & Lessons from the French Culture to Begin 2018

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #188

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio

“But I love New Year’s Day, because I can never get over the generosity of the fact that we all get a BRAND NEW YEAR, totally for FREE — with no dents, or dinks, or mistakes yet. It’s the ultimate REFRESH button.” —Elizabeth Gilbert

As I look ahead to the new year with plans to finally get back to France since far too long ago (2013), I couldn’t help but look to my collection of French living and culture books which I didn’t fully realized is as plentiful as it turned out to be in my personal library (a sampling captured recently of many of my French themed books) for inspiration as to how to step forward into 2018.

Below I’ve gathered 18 quotes of wisdom, insights and inspiration for beginning anew, renewed and brilliantly rested and ready to make 2018 the year we wish it to be.

You Know More Than You Realize

1.”a quarter to a third of all English words come from French, and good thing; otherwise, learning this language would be even harder than it is.” —William Alexander in Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me & Nearly Broke My Heart

Read Books Like You Need Them to Breathe

2. “France retains a reverence for the printed book. As independent bookstores crash and burn in the United States, the market here is healthier, largely thanks to government protections that treat the stores as national treasures . . . in France, booksellers —including Amazon —may not discount books more than 5 percent below the publisher’s list price.” —Elaine Sciolino in The Only Street in Paris: Life on the Rue des Martyrs

The Gift of a Balanced Life is a Beautiful Life to Savor

3. “So here is a trilogy: food/movement/know thyself. Again, these are important elements in my life and also in the lives of French women who don’t get fat (and perhaps do not want or need facelifts).” —Mireille Guiliano in French Women Don’t Get Facelifts: The Secret of Aging with Style & Attitude

Trust Your Journey, and As You Travel, Just Be Yourself

4. “‘Seize the moment . . . pay attention to your life right now’ . . . What I failed to see, sitting around the coffee table on those nights, was the possibility that I didn’t have to keep looking for a family to belong to; I could create one of my own. I had conflated my deep need to belong to something bigger than myself with a more superficial need to fit in, to look and dress and act like others. But fitting in is not belonging. This seems so clear now, but at the time I didn’t understand the difference. I was still floating between New York and Paris, at least in the sense that my identity was tied to both cities. I lived in New York and worked at a New Yorker’s pace, but I couldn’t let go of Paris —Paris, which had shaped me more deeply than college or even my Manhattan childhood. Returning to Paris felt as if I was reawakening some part of myself that had been asleep since I’d left.” —Kate Betts in My Paris Dream: An Education in Style, Slang and Seduction in the Great City on the Seine

On Style: Mix It Up

5. “Forget the ‘total look.’ Frenchwomen love to mix and match. Pascale Camart, womenswear buying manager for the Galeries Lafayette, told me that having designer labels next to ordinary ones on the same floor was ‘on purpose. The Frenchwoman likes to put different things together.’ The Parisienne, she says, doesn’t buy evening dresses. She sticks with basics and then finds the one distinctive jacket or scarf or top that will make the ensemble a knockout.” —Harriet Welty Rochefort in Joie de Vivre: Secrets of Wining, Dining and Romancing Like the French

The Importance of Elevating the Everyday

6. ” You don’t go overboard, exhausting yourself over the holidays when you make every day an occasion for friendship and family, fun and celebration.” —Jamie Cat Callan in Bonjour, Happiness: Secrets to Finding Your Joie de Vivre

Choose Quality in Your Food and in Your Life to Elevate the Experience

7. “Édith Piaf famously sang, Non, je ne regrette rien (‘No, I regret nothing’). Although I have my share of regrets, using good chocolate to make a soufflé is never one of them.” —David Lebovitz in L’Appart: The Delights and Disasters of Making My Paris Home

Let Your Body Tell You What It Needs and Listen

8. “She knows exactly what she has ‘a taste’ for, and once she’s had enough, that’s it. She eats what she wants, when she wants it, until she is satisfied. Food is not a moral or emotional issue for her. She does not describe foods as good or bad; to her they are neutral, just food.” —Carol Cottrill in The French Twist: Twelve Secrets of Decadent Dining and Natural Weight Management

The Essence of Real Beauty Goes Beyond the Surface

9. “Style without substance is unacceptable, largely because it’s boring, one-dimensional. In France, it’s inadmissible to provoke ennui. Real style is built upon a solid foundation of informed intelligence, quick wit, and an impressive panopoly of culture references. One must hold her own in a lively conversation. The essence of beauty is to continue educating oneself and constantly to learn something new. Simply put: these are the keys to eternal youth.” Tish Jett in Forever Chic: Frenchwomen’s Secrets for Timeless Beauty, Style and Substance

Keep Persevering to Create More ‘Luck’ in Your Life

10. “Persevering is often not simply a matter of working hard and refusing to quit; often, by trying again, failing again, and failing better, we inadvertently place ourselves in the way of luck. Yet another reason to keep on keeping on.” —Karen Karbo in Julia Child Rules: Lessons on Savoring Life

Cooking Need Not Be Complicated & Thus an Necessary Element of Socializing Well in Everyday Life

11. “Yes, Parisians have more fun when they go out. But they’re also ten times less likely to eat out. And in Paris, there’s no ordering in —you cook. It’s simple cooking, really: You can have five friends over, create a fast, delicious pasta with zucchini and mint. Or you just buy cheese, figs, wine and call it a night.” — Garance Doré in Love, Style, Life

Opening Your World to Other Languages & Cultures Deepens Appreciation and Perspective

12. “Linguists call America ‘the graveyard of languages’ because of its singular ability to take in millions of immigrants and extinguish their native languages in a few generations. A study of thirty-five nations found that ‘in no other country . . . did the rate of the mother tongue shift toward (English) monolingualism approach the radity of that found in the United States.’ Immigrants to America lose languages quickly; natives of America fail to acquire them. Only 18 percent of American schoolchildren are enrolled in foreign language courses, while 94 percent of European high-school students are studying English.” —Lauren Collins in When in French: Love in a Second Language

Incorporate the Arts into Your Life

13. “As often as you can, take an evening off and seek out the arts. Attend the ballet, visit an art show at your local coffee shop, go see an independent theatre, attend a symphony performance or a rock concern. These moments are often too few and far between, especially when family and work life seem to always come first. Indulging in the pleasure of the arts feels decadent and is a magnificent way to recharge your soul. Purchase your tickets in advance. Knowing that you are going to attend the ballet in three weeks gives you something delightful to look forward to.” — Jennifer L. Scott in At Home with Madame Chic

Luck is Hard Earned

14. “In truth, her luck was not yet finished. Not even close. These two daring shipments were to make her one of the most famous women in Europe and her wine one of the most highly prized commodities of the nineteenth century. As Louis told her, it was a succes born out of ‘your judicious manner of operating, your excellent wine, and the marvelous similarity of your ideas, which produced the most splendid unity and action and execution — we did it well, and I give a million thanks to the bounty of the divine Providence who saw fit to make me one of his instrument in your future well-being . . . certainly you merit all the glory possible after your misfortunes, your perseverance, and your obvious talents.'” —Tilar J. Mazzeo in The Widow Clicquot: The Story of a Champagne Empire and the Woman Who Ruled It

On What Is Worth Appreciating and Savoring

15. “The weight of history means that the French don’t wipe the slate clean to make way for progress the way Americans do. Because of their centuries-old attachment to the land, restriction is their second nature, not expansion. The French have completely different ideas about what’s public and what’s private, and those ideas influence how they think about money, morality, eating, manners, conversation, and even political accountability. The French glorify what’s elevated and grand, not what’s common and accessible. They value form as much as content. And finally, they created many of their instituions to try to deal with the after-affects of two major wars. These factors don’t add up to a neat picture that diametrically opposes French and Anglo-Americans. They just explain a lot about why the French think the way they do. Unless Americans recognize these differences, they will never understand the French.” —Jean-Benoît Nadeau & Julie Barlow in Sixty Million Frenchmen Can’t Be Wrong: Why We Love France, but Not the French

Stop and Nourish Your Body & Mind Daily

16. “No matter how fraught our workload, we stop and have a proper meal. It helps us calm our brains and bodies, and we know we will work more efficiently afterward.” —Mathilde Thomas in The French Beauty Solution: Time-Tested Secrets to Look and Feel Beautiful Inside and Out

The Importance of Quality Living for the Individual Living It, Not for Outward Applause

17. “Ambition—another virtue that becomes a vice when taken too seriously. Time is not money for the French. It’s an ephemeral currency and should be spent doing the things that make life worth living. Remember, the French woman might have an acute sense of breveity of time and the immediacy of pleasure; that said, she also has a strong predilection to enjoy not only the finer things in life but the things that make life fine.” —Debra Ollivier in What French Women Know: About Love, Sex and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind

Let Your Dreams Lead the Way and Never Stop Striving Forward

18. “Willa Carter believed that if you have a wish for something from a young age and you nourish it, if you continually make an effort to nurture this wish and stay connected to this dream, then you will live a fulfilled life. If you believe in something, it invests everything you do with meaning. Paris has always stayed with me, close to me, and I’ve continually felt nourished by it.” —Kate Betts in My Paris Dream: An Education in Style, Slang, and Seduction in the Great City on the Seine

At the core of living well is appreciating the value of now and tempering longings and future hopes so that we are soley living in the future. Our lives are indeed right now. Just for a moment, examine where you were in your life one year ago today, now five years ago, now 10. Could you have precisely known where you would be when looking toward the future as your younger self? The future is exciting, but as many of the sage words remind, it is often the simple, the patient and present that make life truly fulfilling.

Thank you for stopping by, and remember to stop by next Monday when the Top Episodes of 2017 will be shared. A new episode will return on Monday January 1st with Francophile author Jamie Cat Callan (her new book Parisian Charm School: French Secrets for Cultivating Love, Joy and that Certain je ne sais quoi will be released on January 2, 2018) as well as an excited giveaway for listeners and readers (hint: it is something for your kitchen).

~Tune in to French-Living inspired posts/episodes from the Archives:

~#4: 10 Ways to Unearth Your Inner Francophile

~#23: The French Way: How to Create a Luxurious Everyday Life

~#32: The Francophile Style Guide: The 14 Essentials

~#96: Everyday Living in France – My Interview with Sharon Santoni

~#127: 20 Ways to Live Like a Parisienne

~#144: 20 Ways to Incorporate Your Love for the French Culture into Your Everyday

~#151: 10 Style Tips to Embrace the French Woman’s Approach to Effortless Chic

~#155: 6 Life Lessons for Living Well from Julia Child

~#167: My Good Life in France: Author Janine Marsh

~#168: Everyday Living with Author & Blogger Sharon Santoni

~#169: Understanding the French Culture: My Interview with Géraldine Lepere of Comme une Française

~#182: David Leibovitz Talks About Making Paris His Home

~Check out the new addition to TSLL destination: The Simply Luxurious Kitchen. Have a look at the pilot episode below and learn more about this new venture into vodcasting in which we will focus on “Seasonal fare to elevate the everyday meal” here.

Petit Plaisir:

~Salmon en Papillote (Salmon in Paper) – view the entire recipe here

Sponsors for today’s episode:

Birchbox

use code sophisticate to save 20% off all gift subscriptions through 12/25

Birchbox in France

Vincero Watches

use the promo code SIMPLE to save 15% on your order

Download the Episode

188: 18 Secrets & Lessons from the French Culture to Begin 2018 published first on http://ift.tt/2pewpEF

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