#and the preciousness of humans being humans no matter when we lived

[selflessanatta]

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Initial Scope Meditations, https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-initial-scope-meditations/

New Post has been published on https://selflessanatta.com/tibetan-buddhist-lamrim-the-initial-scope-meditations/

Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Initial Scope Meditations

A summary of the initial scope with links to detailed explanations of the five meditations.

The Initial Scope, Intermediate Scope, and Great Scope of Lamrim

When people are very young, they learn to crawl; later, they learn to walk; finally, they learn to run. Each skill builds on the previous one.

Similarly, the scopes of Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim, Initial, Intermediate, and Great, build upon each other.

Lamrim is the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment. There are no viable shortcuts, and the path itself has side roads to explore, depending on the practitioner’s past Karma and emotional issues they must resolve.

Someone could study a meditation handbook and attempt to master the advanced meditations of the Great Scope, but the likelihood of success is very low.

The Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the initial scope focus on the foundational stages of spiritual practice and emphasize the desire to achieve a favorable rebirth and avoid the suffering of lower realms.

While the emphasis in the initial scope is on ethical conduct and virtuous actions, practitioners may also engage in basic meditation practices to develop concentration and mindfulness, which are foundational practices in subsequent stages.

See: Mindfulness Meditation Mastery: A Journey to Observing, Directing, and Sustaining Mental Focus

A personal journey From the time I was very young, I observed the activity of my mind. I was an only child, growing up in a rural area, so I had plenty of alone time, often spent in the woods. My family liked playing games, and I found I could focus concentration for very long periods, obsessively at times. I became skilled at many games.

In the intermediate scope, the future Buddha cultivates moral discipline, accumulates merit, and acquires sublime wisdom. In the great scope, the person actualizes perfect Buddhahood.

Recognizing the Preciousness of Human Life

The initial scope begins with recognizing the rarity and value of human life, especially one that is conducive to spiritual practice.

In ancient times, most people spent the majority of their time working to meet basic survival needs. Few people had the opportunity to explore spiritual matters.

While modern life may seem hectic, compared to the ancients, we have abundant time for spiritual practice.

The initial scope stresses that human life provides a unique opportunity for spiritual growth and should not be wasted.

See: Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Your Precious Human Life

Most people take their lives for granted and fail to recognize its significance. Since none of us can stop being human, and each day we wake up, we are human, it’s understandable why few bother to appreciate it. As Popeye the Sailor Man noted, “I yam what I yam.”

Cultivating the Mindfulness of Death

Contemplating the impermanence of life and the inevitability of death is a powerful source of motivation. When one deeply internalizes the reality of death, it leads to a deeper appreciation of one’s precious human life and motivates people not to waste it.

When people reflect on the fact that death could happen at any moment, they prioritize important matters, like engaging in spiritual practice, to prepare for the inevitable.

Practicing mindfulness of death and impermanence in daily life helps individuals make conscious choices, rather than instinctively pursuing earthly pleasures, attainments, fame, or objects of desire.

See: Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Death and Impermanence

Intellectually, we all know we are going to die. Our instinct is to survive, so the fact of certain death makes most people uncomfortable, and they push it away. Death is considered a downer. Western culture shields us from death. We only face death when we visit a funeral home, or perhaps drive by a cemetery. Dead bodies are mostly shielded from our sight, to aid in our denial of its inevitability.

Feeling the Appropriate Fear of Lower Rebirth

Practitioners are encouraged to contemplate the suffering in the lower realms of existence, such as the hell realms, hungry ghost realms, and animal realms. This contemplation fosters a healthy fear of lower rebirths and motivates individuals to avoid negative actions that could lead to such rebirths.

The primary goal in the initial scope is to secure a favorable rebirth, such as a human life or a life in the heavenly realms, where there are better conditions for practicing Dharma (spiritual path). This desire for a better rebirth serves as a foundation for further spiritual progress.

See: Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: The Dangers of Lower Rebirth

All the major world religions use some form of a carrot-and-stick approach to motivate good behavior. The carrot is a reward for good behavior, such as going to heaven, gaining favor with God, being reborn in comfortable circumstances, reincarnation in a Pure Land, or escaping the cycle of rebirth entirely.

Taking Refuge in the Three Jewels

Practitioners are guided to take refuge in the Three Jewels (Buddha, Dharma, Sangha) as a source of protection and guidance on their spiritual journey. Taking refuge serves as a source of strength, inspiration, and instruction.

See: Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim: Refuge Practice

Where do people look for guidance and support when circumstances are challenging? For much of the last 2,500 years, many have turned to organized religion. Jews have God, the Bible’s Old Testament, and synagogues. Christians have Jesus, the Bible’s New Testament, and Christian churches.

Understanding Ethical Conduct and the Law of Karma

Lamrim’s teachings stress the importance of ethical conduct as a means to create positive karma and secure a favorable rebirth. Practitioners are encouraged to observe ethical principles, refrain from harming others, and engage in virtuous actions.

Generosity is a key practice in the initial scope, as it creates positive karma and leads to better circumstances in future lives. Giving to those in need and supporting spiritual causes are seen as virtuous acts.

The motivation for ethical behavior comes from an understanding of Karma, the observation that our actions have consequences.

See: Tibetan Buddhist Lamrin: Actions and Their Effects

For every action a person takes, there is an inevitable response, a consequence that will follow, connecting the action back to the source. Just as a spider’s web provides support while also ensnaring the spider, individuals reap the rewards of their wise choices and endure the consequences of their unwise decisions.

In summary, the Tibetan Buddhist Lamrim teachings on the initial scope focus on recognizing the preciousness of human life, understanding the suffering in samsara, and aspiring for a favorable rebirth through ethical conduct and virtuous actions.

These teachings provide a foundational framework for individuals to begin their spiritual journey and gradually progress on the path to enlightenment.

For more depth and greater understanding, please review the writings linked above and practice the meditations.

~~wink~~

Anatta

[yhwhrulz]

Morning and Evening with A.W. Tozer Devotional: October 19th

Tozer in the Morning GOD AND THE INDIVIDUAL

When the eternal Son of God became the Son of Man and walked on this earth, He always called individuals to His side. Jesus did not come into the world to deal with statistics! He deals with individuals and that is why the Christian message is and always has been: "God loves the world! He loves the masses and throngs only because they are made up of individuals. He loves every individual person in the world!" In the great humanistic tide of our day, the individual is no longer the concern. We are pressed to think of the human race in a lump. We are schooled to think of the human race in terms of statistics. In many nations, the state is made to be everything and the individual means nothing at all. Into the very face and strength of this kind of humanism comes the Christian evangel, the good news of salvation, wondrously alight with the assurance for all who will listen: "You are an individual and you matter to God! His concern is not for genes and species but for the individuals He has created!"

Tozer in the Evening Man - The Dwelling Place of God - What Men Live By

HUMAN LIFE HAS ITS CENTRAL CORE where lie the things men live by. These things are constant. They change not from age to age, but are the same among all races throughout the world always.

Life also has its marginal zones where lie the things that are relatively unimportant. These change from generation to generation and vary from people to people.

It is at the central core that men are one, and it is on the marginal zones that they differ from each other. Yet the marginal things divide the peoples of the world radically and seriously. Most of the enmities of the earth have arisen from differences that did not matter basically; but because the people could not distinguish things men live by from things they live with these enmities arose between them, and often led to persecutions, murders and bloody wars.

Were men everywhere to ignore the things that matter little or not at all and give serious attention to the few really important things, most of the walls that divide men would be thrown down at once and a world of endless sufferings ended.

What does matter after all? What are the great facts that are good all the time everywhere among all men? What are the axiomatic truths upon which all human life may rest with confidence? Fortunately they are not many. Here are the chief ones:

Only God is great. Men have sought to place greatness elsewhere, in things, in events, in men; but the human soul is too great to attribute greatness to itself, and certainly too great to believe that things or events can possess true greatness.

The greatness that men seem to have is as the greatness of moonlight, which is but the glory of the sun reflected. Man's glory is borrowed. He shines in the light that never was on land or sea. He reflects God's greatness but has none of his own.

"Before Thy ever-blazing throne We ask no luster of our own."*

Only God is wise. Man's wisdom has ever been the badge of his superiority and the cause of his most arrogant pride; yet it fails him constantly. He cannot by his wisdom find the answer to the old questions concerning himself: Whence? What? Why? Whither? By it he cannot secure the blessings he wants most: to escape pain, to stay young and to stay alive.

Yet man boasts of his wisdom, God waits, the ages pass, and time and space and matter and motion and life and death join to tell us that only God is wise.

Apart from God nothing matters. We think that health matters, that freedom matters, or knowledge or art or civilization. And but for one insistent word they would matter indeed. That word is eternity.

Grant that men possess perpetual being and the preciousness of every earthly treasure is gone instantly. God is to our eternal being what our heart is to our body. The lungs, the liver, the kidneys have value as they relate to the heart. Let the heart stop and the rest of the organs promptly collapse. Apart from God, what is money, fame, education, civilization? Exactly nothing at all, for men must leave all these things behind them and one by one go to eternity. Let God hide His face and nothing thereafter is worth the effort.

Only what we do in God will remain to us at last.

Man is made in the image of his Creator and has an urge toward creative activity. When he left the Garden his creative urge did not leave him. He must build, always build; his materials may be brick, paint, musical notes, scientific data, systems of thought; but always he must build, from the boy that builds a toy to the man that builds an empire.

Yet time is against him, for it wears out everything it touches. Its grinding action makes dust of civilizations and cities and men. A lifetime of toil dies with the toiler. But God puts immortality in all our loving efforts for Him and shares His eternity with all who love and trust Him.

Human sin is real. Suspicion, hate, envy, power, lust and greed keep the world in a state of continual ferment, while bespectacled men stand unblinking and assure classes of eager students that the whole idea of sin is outmoded and sin itself non-existent.

In spite of all our smooth talk sin continues to ride the race of man. Until its heavy weight is lifted from the soul nothing else has any right to our attention, for sin shuts us out from the presence of the God whose favor alone gives life any satisfactory reason for being.

With God there is forgiveness. "The Lord God, merciful and gracious . . . keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin." So says the Old Testament. *"The Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins," says the New.

God's mercy heads up in the Man Christ Jesus who is God and man by the mystery of the Incarnation. He can and does forgive sin because the sin was committed against Him in the first place. The soul in Christ has found the One that matters. His heaviest problem is solved; his basic philosophy is sound; his eyes are open and he knows the true from the false.

Only what God protects is safe. All else perishes with the using or the hoarding. Paul knew this secret. He said, "He is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."***

Blessed Treasure. Blessed Keeper. Blessed Day.

Exodus 34:6 * * Matthew 9: 6 *** 2 Timothy 1:12

Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.

[cosmicangel888]

Truth & Integrity is Everything ~ Rich In Spirit The Healing of the DIVINE FEMININE ~ 5D

How is it possible that those take, steal, copy, make money off what is not theirs, no agreements, no contracts, and while the actual curators, creator, is living in hiding due to the schemes, plans, agendas to the hide the true talent;

When true talent is discovered, women especially are then degraded ten fold to be a tool, object of raw insulting sex dolls and animals of the Masculine and the misogyny that created such imbalanced dehumanizing - everything a man is was birthed by a woman and when a man has such disgust, yet takes all that women offer and make money, rich lives, and false self-importance -

we are seeing like never before how urgently and how appropriately timely to get healed DM - so that we no longer reduce what our children see, think, believe in themselves of all that matters is to sell your body, spirit, soul so the 'man' can make their money while all women are imprinted vibrationally, in the entertainment world, music world leadership world, and all other genre's on this planet how women and others but men, being placed in a very small box and definition of smallness and enslavement - ~

Disregard of the DF imbalances our entire planet, Gaia, all her goods and air, water she offers all simply to make money - all will return;

Greed, gluttony, envy, jealousy, competition - It is the unhealed aspects and disregard and degrading of our natural essence, art, and sacred expression - we have been warped to think we are not gracious and valued, worthy; and we are - I will stand in such and the millions of women, the energy and spirits of them that have not been heard; their stories of being sold, killed, and treated so harshly that we uplift all humanity and heal the wounds imprinted on our entire collective

Degrading humanity comes in the selling of sex, using and taking - these are the images and energies not aligned with the divinity within - the higher self; such images of selling our bodies, sex, using, abusing our grace, our preciousness, and what is sacred being seen, taken as if it means nothing - yet it is everything

I stand for everything!

It touches us all - and how disgusting such views are that a woman has to work tirelessly to be seen, heard, and known that have 100 million times more insight, value, offering than any other - and it is done with pure grace and true self empowerment and taking nothing from anyone in offering -

There are those; located in the Calgary Area that have done just that;

Enslaved and used, abused all that I am, have been, and offered and create LTD numbered companies making money off of my content, my work, and calling it their own when they are only aligned in the debauchery of falseness, mistruth, selling their spirits and souls to demons and head demon recruiters ~

My story is everywhere in the spiritual community - true prophets being take advantage of and being pimped by those that had the money to resourcefully take, make, mimick and call their own that clearly is not - will never be - for God offers unique to every soul - which is the gift - know thyself - I know who I am.

Joanna is.

Joanna is alive.

Joanna's work is her sacred offering and none on the internet - regardless of how someone takes, says word for word, copies in the mirror, copies and sells it to the one behind the door, like a Wizard of Oz, and all you see is a small unhealed soul that truly needs and aches for self love and self honour - - I shine the light on you - you are just as unique and honouring - go within and seek it and offer something of only your offering - the world needs your unique offering - not copying another - you are loved, equally - now is your time to stand up, own your story, help others fooled, and make your life a story you will be so very proud to share and help others - others are where you are - use your story - I believe in you to do the right thing by your soul -for I know your soul.

I have given enough, they have stolen enough, they have corrupted the hearts that truly asked for pure healing and sacred wisdoms and received only a gimmick and warped sense of self; leaders train, prepare, offer and loose and make their way due to what is truly real within - none supported me, none offered to me, none helped me, and every day I get up and serve;

Regardless of the bullying, regardless of the demonic corruptions trying to pull me down, for I am aligned, and so only the blinders remain to the all - I speak what god asks to be cleansed and made new; it is time for evolution beyond degrading DF. Offering the children to unhealed men for sex toys and slaves; all being truly healable -

This my dear ones is corruption - Spirit offers and prepares such divine earth angels ~ for eons of work, devotion - those simply taking and selling are not divinely aligned - offer nothing but dark copying and I will not stand down - my work is my work and it my vibration that it will all be blocked until the lord is heard in return of what is divinely distributed that any turns a deaf ear to shall also reap ~ enough is enough of degrading, selling out, pimping out divine feminine that are here to uprightly lead, offer, teach, and inspire deep and powerful healings to a planet in need;

I am a celestial, earth angel - I am wise, I am a leader and I know truth, and what is not; those that I left, are false, not prophets on any level but creating corruption from others idea's and contents; lost are the souls that simply do not go within and are up for grabs to the highest bidders -= know thyself ~ karma is karma and none escape;

I know who I am -

My work is my vibration and the pure offering of the Divine God, Mother Father, Heavenly Councils, and the divine evolutionary programs - none offers what I do - I walk with the legions of heavens, and who do you walk with? © 

Stand with me, show who you are - we shall open in free flowing spirit - I know there is only Oneness - truly go within and do the inner work and see that you had it all along - all that I have offered was pure and sacred of the Most High gifts and used for some to enter into rich falsehood ~ I say to all - verily verily I say to thee; integrity of spirit is everything - period. © 

Blessings and light

Joanna

No permissions, agreements, and approvals have been given to anyone. none. My offering is meant to be delivered and offered by those that are conduits and trained and honoured over the eons of the sacred ancestors that have prepared the way for such;

Mastery is earned - so earn it. Do the inner work. All is healable and all is possible

#healinghumanity #healingourearth #healingGaia #5Dearth

#ascension #enlightenment

#Youtube

[tokoyamisstuff]

Tender Ch. 1 - Loki x Mute! Reader

Summary: Even though Loki doesn’t understand why the new member of the Avengers should be kind to him of all people, he doesn’t want you to stop either.

Warnings: Loki being depressed, the Avengers being kinda mean, mentions of Torture and Death

Words: ~2100

[Story Masterlist] [All of my Works]

All eyes were on him again.

As soon as Loki would step inside, the previously lively room would fall completely silent. Well, it’s not like he wasn’t used to being the involuntary kill-joy...

Usually, the God of Mischief craved attention, may it be positive or negative - most of the time being the latter. But lately, after months of having all those distrustful and hostile glares piercing holes into him, he’d rather wish for the ground to swallow him whole.

“Umm, so...I gotta go.” Natasha was the first one to flee the unpleasant atmosphere, not even putting the energy into mutter anything else than a cheap excuse on her way out. Clint wordlessly followed her close after, but not without shooting the Odinson one last, spiteful look.

Loki on the other hand was picking on his hands, a nervous habit he had inherited from his mother. As much as he tried to avoid meeting their eyes, the tensioned aura they were emitting making him feel close to breaking down completely - but he would never give them the satisfaction to witness this, he swore to himself.

And yet: Maybe he should just leave. Disappear, forever.

Although he’d never admit, Loki had grown very tired of his life following this stirr path, unable to diverge into a new direction. Everything he did would ultimately bring death and destruction upon mankind, inflicting fear in the hearts of all people.

His whole existence was based on being condemned to fail - just for others to reach their ‘glorius purpose’.

“Great” Tony scoffed. “Now they’re gone. Well done, prince of nothing.” Steve cut his friend off, clearing his throat very exaggeratedly.

The god still hadn’t moved from the doorframe of the conference room, while all others were already sitting on the oval-shaped table. He didn’t got what all that fuss was about. If Steve didn’t insist him to attend this emergency meeting, he’d just have gone about his usual business and avoided everyone as good as he could.

“C’mon, brother” Thor sighed, well knowing that if his brother was to stay in the team, it would ultimatively drive a wedge between them. All that pressure in the air was straining for everyone, including himself. 

Tony on the other hand was pretty chill about everything, aside of being passive-aggressive. This was probably due to their similar coping styles.

Even though his near-death-experience back when he stopped the Chitauri was still eating on his mental health, he’d prefer glossing over it with stupid jokes and overly confident behaviour. “No sassy remark today, Reindeer Games?”

Stark was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed as he rose an eyebrow on the god, who only muttered a hoarse “No...not today.”

Yeah, it was kind of his style to break the unsettling silence through puny comments or self-glorifying speeches, to distract from his own insecurity.

But right now, he was just so damn tired.

Of this planet and it’s people, as well as the humiliating circumstances he had to dwell in. The fact that he was a prisoner at the Stark Tower, amongst his worst enemies. Being forced by his brother to keep up this meaningless act, as if he’d ever be seen as a team member or ally - when in reality, he was but a slave to the people he once ought to reign.

Just like back on Asgard: Never one of them, never belonging. No way to break free - for his true self was something to be loathed.

However, first and foremost the one thing he was especially tired of was himself, for he couldn’t get out of his own skin. Not only could he never be considered a hero, let alone be redeemed.

After all the atrocities he had commited due to Thanos’ torture and the tesseract’s influence,  now that he woke up from that naive dream of power stilling the emptiness in his dark heart, there was nothing left for him - other than to be haunted by his crimes until the mercy of death would overcome him.

“Well” Steve began, slamming his palms on the desk to attract everyone’s attention. “As you all know, we are welcoming a new team member today.”

“They all know?” Of course they wouldn’t let him in on such sensitive information. Not that he minded either way - one Avenger more or less, it didn’t matter how many people hated him in here.

“Please, come on in.”

Loki cleared the entrance when he heared Tony’s words, turning around in anticipation of another dull creature like the Hulk to torment him - but his calm demeanour dropped completely at this unusual sight:

“Y-You?!”

That was simply not possible! The last time he had seen you was almost a year ago, and you were on the brink of death at that!

“For everyone that doesn’t know yet: Her name is Y/N Y/L/N. She is one of the victims HYDRA experimented on, and they succeeded in forming an artificial mutant.”

Steve went on and on explaining about your powers, but Loki’s head had already turned on autopilot, the only thing he could concentrate on being how the hell you of all people ended up here.

All these months, he was desperately trying to get any information about you, all of his hints ultimately leading him to dead ends - and in the end, tragically believing in your imminent death.

The memories were still painfully vivid in his mind: It was his first mission together with the Avengers, at a HYDRA hideout with most likely no civil survivors.

Actually, he had planned to make his escape right when the others engaged in a fight, wandering the hallways of what resembled a torture chamber rather than a laboratory.

On the walls were several instructions, about a serum that might cause a human to mutate if they were exposed to unbearable stress - pain being the most effective method, apparently.

Yet instead of finding anything useful for his personal gain, he found you: A  beautiful woman, yet emaciated and lying in a puddle of her own blood. At first he thought you to be dead just like the others - but as soon as your faint whimpers drang to his ears, he burst the cell you were trapped in open, rushing to your side immediately.

“Shh...” the god scooped you up from the cold stone floor, wrapping his cloak around your broken body. “Everything is alright now. Your savior is here.”

Loki gasped as he felt your hand stroking his cheekbone, even through all your pain and weakness wanting to bid your hero this due respect.

“Hel...you humans are such fragile creatures...” Loki muttered under his breath, cursing his own lack of talent when it came to casting healing spells. “Hang in there, look at me!”

Your eyes were teary and bloodshot, yet not less fit to bring across a message no words ever could: Incredible gratitude, and admiration.

He could tell you were close to passing out when your hand left his face, falling limp to the side. But he held you firmly in his arms, not once stopping to utter sweet words of encouragement as he made his way to the ship, leading you into safety.

“Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?”

Those were the words he once directed at Black Widow - but only now he understood her attempts.

Saving one person could never make up for all the lives he had destroyed - and yet he knew that for you, it would mean the world none the less.

In one way or another, with your life at his mercy, he began to finally grasp the preciousness of life, and doing everything in one’s might to protect it.

“Reindeer Games” Tony tapped on his shoulders, making Loki wake from his pondering. “I’d appreciate if you didn’t scare her away on the first day already.”

Oh.

Just now he was noticing his own grim expression, having towered over your much smaller form this whole time with furrowed brows.

“My apologies” was his firm response, but you only shook your head, trying to tell him it was not a big deal.

So this was what you looked like when you’re not imprisoned, he realized when he took in your physique.

Much to his pleasure, all of your wounds had seemingly healed, and you finally gained some much needed weight. Like this, you looked so much more healthier - and most definetly even more bewitching than he remembered you.

If people had let him know, would he have visited your sickbed, aiding you towards health again? Who knows...

Yet somehow, he dwelled in the thought of you being able to lead a happy life now that you were free - which made your decision to seek out the Avengers in wish for more battles even harder for him to accept.

“You are incredibly strong, Lady Y/N” Loki spoke firmly, everyone else rolling their eyes at his usual exaggeration - but you knew he meant every word. “Be sure of my eternal respect.” 

The God of Lies’ eyes widened in excitement when you directed a warm smile at him, knowing for sure that this one was genuine. It wasn’t like those fake smirks the other Avengers gave him out of politeness, or the mocking laughs when they were making fun of or excluding him.

No - that one was just pure affection. And it left him in awe.

“Thank you for saving me back then” you signed, just for Loki shooting you a puzzled look.

“What, I thought the all-tongue knows every language?” Tony yelled, as inconsiderate as always. Thor was quick to explain on his brother’s stead, him still being deeply invested with you. “Every spoken one, yes. ASL is not one of our fortes.”

Usually, Loki had always been a quick thinker. But right now he was to bewildered by your appearance that thinking straight was out of the question.  

What language were they speaking of? And why have you not been saying anything up until now? Maybe his presence was making you uncomfortable, after all? Should he leave on your behalf?

To make it easier for him to understand, you rolled down your turtleneck, revealing the unsighty scar that covered your whole throat.

There were not many people bold enough to come close to the God of Mischief without warning, yet suddenly you simply took his hand and slowly led it to your neck.

How could you be so naive and offer someone like him such a vital spot?! He’ll never get the human philosophy...

And yet, the flabbergasted god hesistantly let his hand run over the scar, while you opened your mouth to no avail - for 11 months already, no tone would leave your vocal cords.

“I’m incredibly sorry...” Loki whispered with a sorrowful tone, while the others just stared in disbelief. “If only I was able to heal this wound back then...”

What a puny god he was...and an even more pathetic wanna-be-hero at that...

He would try to take a few steps back, but you took a hold of his hand, squeezing it with both of yours, that cheerful smile not faltering in the slightest.

“Please, don’t be sad. I’m only alive thanks to you!” Bucky, whose cousin was mute as well, translated what you were signing for Loki. His tone sounded quite irritated, not fitting those meaningful words. “I only wanted to join the Avengers because I want to be just like you. You’re my idol!”

Those words touched him deeply, igniting a flame inside of him he thought long to be defunct. Was it hope?

Of course it was not nearly enough to pull him out of that deep, dark hole he felt trapped in for as long as he could remember - yet somehow, he now felt that it was not impossible to escape.

While the others were cringing at your declaration, making jokes about ‘choosing wrong idols’ or would plainly not believe Loki to have a positive effect on anyone, the two of you would just stare at each other in silent admiration.

Shyly, you signed yet another word for him - and this time, Loki would know what you mean from pure intuition. 

He smiled.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Loki was able to smile again, just thanks to your heartwarming welcome. And he was still blissfully unaware about what effect you could have on him, if he was brave enough to let you close.

One thing was sure: You literally had him wrapped around his finger from the very start.

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Friggason #Oneshot #Self Insert #Marvel #Disney #Fluff #Fem! Reader #God of Mischief #Loki / Reader

[fallinfl0wers]

love stories with some genshin boys i thought of while listening to my playlists

includes: aether (210 words), xiao (261 words), scaramouche (277 words) and albedo (307)

warnings (?): spoilers of ‘we will be reunited’, english is not my native language and uhh idk what else, idk really know what these are, headcanons ?? snippets ?? also not beta read and not edited.

it’s long so uhhh i’ll add a cut somewhere

anyway enjoy!! ...whatever this is i guess

Aether

Falling in love with Aether is like a fun adventure. He, being always the center of attention and the protagonist no matter where he goes, is a free spirited, kind and hardworking man. 

Throughout your time travelling and being in a relationship together, you’ll find that your relationship with the Honorary Knight is one of sweet kisses under the sunlight; innocent handholding while thinking up of what to make for dinner tonight; of easily talked out arguments and finding ways to compromise; of softly pushing each other to become a better version of themselves and, most of all, of supporting and having each other’s backs no matter what.

And when Aether confronts the Abyss Princess face to face for the first time and his world comes crashing down on him, this trait of your relationship shines like no other, as you hold him in your arms after everything was over during the night, Paimon sleeping soundly next to the both of you inside your improvised campsite.

“Even though I’m not sure what -or who- I should believe anymore, I... I know I want to see this journey to the end, and I want you to be there with me for it. Let’s be together until the last moment and beyond.”

Songs:

Snow Fairy - Funkist

Snowing, be honest with yourself and smile When two people are getting closer, time overlaps Fairy, where are you going I will gather all the light and shine it on your tomorrow

Still Lonely - SEVENTEEN

This cursed popularity. Why won’t it leave me? But why am I getting lonelier The early morning chill makes me feel Even lonelier today I feel completely empty, as if I’m empty

Kanpeki Gu~ no ne - Watarirouka Hashiritai

I'm at a loss for words, with this and that, I'm totally in love with you Someday, I want do the same to you: Watch you flounder, At a loss for words right back to me!

Side by Side - The8 from SEVENTEEN

I want to hold hands with you but I don't know what to do what to do oh baby I want to give all my heart to you but You still don't know what's in my heart

Hope - Namie Amuro

At the end of this blue, wide world there's a place I want to aim at with you We chose this long ago for eternity

Xiao

Falling in love with Xiao is like living a bittersweet dream. The Vigilant Yaksha is far from human, or so he says, and thus is out of touch with the way we mortals experience feelings, both the negative and positive ones.

Your relationship with him is one of compassion, mutual understanding, appreciation and patience. So, so much patience. Of intertwined pinkies and soft stolen glances, of shy smiles and comfortable silence sometimes filled with your voice chatting time away and his short responses to your talks.

I mentioned patience. He knows you’re making an enormous effort to try and understand him and be patient with him and his slow learning process of how relationships work, so it’s only fair that he makes a true effort to understand you and your feelings.

Xiao is well aware that he could hurt you without wanting to, be it with his blunt phrasing of his thoughts or his Karmic Debt, as much as he is aware that you will eventually pass away and leave him behind to go somewhere he can’t follow, and that undeniable truth haunts him every second of every day he gets to spend with you. And still, he wishes and wants and does cherish each and every warm, kind feeling he gets every single second you’re together nonetheless.

“I might not know what to make of these new feelings you gave me. But I’ll learn. I promise I’ll learn, so please... don’t go, not yet. Let me treasure you and carve you into my memory for as long as I can.”

Songs:

Euphoria - BTS

I don't know what this emotion is Perhaps this is also the inside of a dream A dream is the blue mirage of the desert Deep inside of me, a priori I become happy to the point of being unable to breathe The surroundings, bit by bit, become clearer

Fallin’ Flower - SEVENTEEN

While flower blooms and falls, scars cure and buds shoot We are living our first and last moment So I won’t take you for granted Because you loved me as I am

Fear - SEVENTEEN

Get out my mind I can't handle it, I'm afraid of myself The truth has me tied up My heart is tainted I'm afraid it'll eventually change you too

The Truth Untold - BTS, Steve Aoki

It’s my fate Don’t smile to me Light on me Because I can’t get closer to you There’s no name you can call me

You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you

Tiny Light - Akari Kitō

Because you colored my unchanging monochromatic days Even the blurred darkness gained meaning

Still, hidden in this heart, these feelings of preciousness so strong that they hurt I just want to convey these feelings to only you before they disappear someday

Scaramouche

Falling in love with Scaramouche is like constantly playing a game. He’s strict, demanding, disagreeable, and widely disliked by enemies and allies alike. Still, he has a heart too; and he holds desires and hopes deep inside of it, although most of them are fueled by the unchanging curiosity he has towards the world around him, curiosity to know what he can get out of whatever the world wants to throw at him.

You were no exception to that rule, at first.

When he met you he wanted to get something from you. And you knew it from the start, just as he knew that you knew. And that didn’t change anything, at first.

Your relationship with him is one of dangerously playful, yet still light-hearted games of seduction, teasing and deceit; of secret kisses exchanged in expensive private rooms in restaurants or the cozy warmth of your home, of an unspoken shared respect and, most of all, complete, mutual devotion.

You know Scaramouche is not a good man. He has done many, many unspeakable things in his life as one of the Eleven, and he knows he’s far from being the perfect charming prince you could aim for, but he will never let you go. Because behind those hardened walls of egocentrism and pride, you saw what no one else bothered to see. You saw him, not the role he was playing, you saw him and fell in love with him.

“To be honest, I don’t think I could find anyone else who understands me as much as you do. And no, I’m not saying this because I want something, give me some more credit, geez...”

Songs:

soldier game -  µ’s

You'll come with me, yes? You've grown curious about my touch, yes? Then it's already love Since you're someone I must meet in battle someday, That might just be your reason It's soldier game Though we've met again, I'm soldier heart

Kowareyasuki - Guilty Kiss

Just stop it already and show your heart only to me I love your eyes that are about to cry And your defenseless, clumsy way of living too (...) The hesitation you convey makes my chest hurt Some people just don't know what such kindness is But then I discover the truth When we got together, you don't have to endure anymore Right now, show your grief only to me I like that you think too much The complete opposite of me

Shhh - SEVENTEEN

Don't think of all these as your mere illusion They're not lies that follow the moment No one can underestimate it, my feelings are an ignition 'Cause I'm always the same Me and you, we got hurt by the lies that we won't ever work But it's fate

(...)

So I can cover you from danger A consented dedication

(...)

It's as natural as breathing An everlasting dedication

Good to me - SEVENTEEN

Yeah, when you were making that sign in my heart It was a long time since my firewall broke down Pass with the password What in the world do you know about me? Are my deep feelings seen by you?

Hiraishin - Keyakizaka46

(To trust is to be betrayed, to open one’s heart is to get hurt So to avoid being struck by lightning-like sorrow…)

Which side am I picking? Ah, these values are hard to handle That’s why I won’t stop watching over you Positive positive positive You should just be yourself… I can forgive whatever absurdities you pull off I’ll support you without being noticed Even when you get nitpicked I’ll be your companion Let us now promise to live an unremarkable life hereafter What we have here is the lightning rod of love

Albedo

Falling in love with Albedo is a fairy tale-like experience for both of you. His attention had always been focused on his research, everything else fading into the background save for a few exceptions, until you came around. You, who stole all his attention by just existing. 

As an alchemist, he’s naturally the curious type. He wanted to know what about it had caught his attention, what was so special about you that had him clinging to your every word and movement every time you interacted with him. Still, human relationships are hard for him, and he figured you might go away the second he started to feel burnt out from your interactions. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed. You stayed and took interest on what he did, asked questions, gave your insight, and dragged him to sleep when he needed a break. In exchange, he did the same for you.

Your relationship with Albedo is like one of those awkwardly sweet first time crushes. Of carefully calculated movements, dates and compliments, of soft kisses on lips, hands and cheeks, of mutual support, understanding and mature compromising and commitment.

The Kreideprinz, like everyone else, has his own fears and insecurities, especially regarding his... nature, but he does his best not to let them affect the relationship he has with you. Each moment spent by your side, even when he’s not actively doing any research, is considered perfectly spent, meaningful time.

“A long time ago, I was tasked with finding out the meaning of this world. Though I have directed my efforts and resources to looking for the answer through alchemy, ever since we met I... think, I’ve found an unexpected conclusion to said issue. While it’s likely that this is not the answer expected from me, I’m positive that, at least personally, I finally have the answer.”

Songs:

Futari Saison - Keyakizaka46

In the wind blowing through the city’s streets, even though I caught whiff of something’s scent, I had no interest in looking back

In a 1m radius around me, I formed an invisible barrier to another world And yet, you took someone like me out of it

What made you do that?

Home - SEVENTEEN

What can I do? Without you I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold What can we do? Without me You’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?

Baby, I want to cherish our warmth So no one can come between us

Flower - SEVENTEEN

You taught me, you showed me You’re my only reason If you can forever remember me I can get hurt, I can get hurt

My heart that’s engraved with your light Makes me stronger Give me your sharp thorns Cause you’re my flower

Oh my! - SEVENTEEN

Sorry for repeating the same thing But this is all I can try using hard words But my true feeling is this, every everything

(...)

How about you? Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too? If you keep making my heart flutter What do I do?

Naze koi wo shite konakattan darou? - Sakurazaka46

Why hadn't I fallen in love? I've been making fun of it all this time I mean everyone keeps saying 'I love you' just like cats in heat But after falling in love I realized what people live for To meet, to love, to the point of nothing but... I'm not myself, I want to find my true self.

#xiao x reader #aether x reader #scaramouche x reader #albedo x reader #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact headcanon #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #first post yay #why is albedo's so long tho he's not even my favorite out of them lol #melodywritings #fluff #genshin impact x reader #melwritesgenshin

[thechekhov]

Hey there! I really appreciate the advice you give and I wanted to know your opinion on this. So, I changed my name relatively recently and I'm very excited because some of my closest family members helped my decide on a name I liked and after coming out about it my family began to call me by my new name- it was relatively smooth actually.

Well, all except for one really disgruntled relative that no matter what people tell them, they refuse to use my new name and in fact said that if they were upset with me they would just call me by my old name because they know how upset it makes me.

It hard to just avoid this person since we live in the same house together and I guess my question is, how do I handle this real life troll?

Realistically, the most mature thing to do is to sit down with this person and ask them, as seriously as possible (and I do mean SERIOUSLY, not BEGGING them to respect you) and meet them head-on and ask why they think their behavior is acceptable. On a level playing field, they have the ability to respect you as a human being and call you by the name you request to be called by. 

This is a basic human social agreement. If a person I meet called Robert asks me to call them Bob, it would be socially inept of me to whine like a child and insist on calling them Robert anyway. This is baseline human respect. If they have even an ounce of this in their blood, they will be able to understand your request, regardless of what they think about other parts of you.

Aside from this reasonable resolution, which I am aware may not be in the cards, the best thing I can think of, off of the top of my head, is to troll back. If they try to dead-name you, call them by the incorrect name right back! When they get annoyed, feign innocence. “But I thought that’s what we were doing? I was trying to make a joke! Why are you getting so upset?”

Now, hear me out - yes, it’s immature and petty, but also, it will be funny! Since most of your other close family is supportive, this will be doubly effective. Get them involved! There’s safety in numbers.

Pick a name that you think your relative may not enjoy being called and just go to town! Call them that name every time they deadname you.

But okay, if that option doesn’t work, the next best thing I can think of is:

Kill Them With Kindness. 

By which I mean ‘Be The Most Preciously Heartwarming Asshole You Can Be’. 

They deadname you? Correct them - sweetly. “Oopsie daisy, how silly! You forgot again didn’t you? No worries, I know you didn’t mean it! I’m sure you feel SUPER embarrassed, but that’s okay, we all have our bad days!” or, alternatively, you can do it even MORE sincerely: “I understand that you are upset with me right now and are lashing out because you have nowhere else for your anger to go. That is understandable, and I empathize with your feelings of frustration and I know you would never want to willingly hurt me this way. I want to help you grow past these petty tantrums, so I’ll keep correcting you no matter how long it takes! I won’t give up on you!”  

The way you choose will, of course, depend heavily on the TYPE of person this is, and how comfortable you feel speaking to them this way. Either way, I wouldn’t recommend REACTING to the name. Don’t respond if they call you by the deadname - go blank. Ask ‘who?’ and employ the above tactics. 

I can’t promise it will work - I can’t promise anything - but it WILL be funny, and you WILL reassert yourself, which may be even more important.  

#deadnaming #name change #chekhov answers

[jeoseungsaja]

daisy, holly, and poppy for reaper!!

@ofgentleresolve ♚ from x.

daisy :   did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ?   what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?  

I think, in Reaper’s case, his innocence was stolen at a young age, when he was forced to become King after the death of his father and older brother. His innocence was cut short, obligated to mature like a fruit that’s ripped away too soon from the tree it’s growing from. He had to deal with sensitive topics and make important decisions when he was just a little boy so, in a sense, the end of his innocence started when the crown was placed upon his head. However, I believe that his innocence was brought back when he became a Grim Reaper. This has been...one of the blessings of his punishment. When given a second chance, his mind started as a blank canvas, with no past memories to hold onto, but eventually gained roots and branches and flowers out of his training as an Angel of Death and the world surrounding him. In this phase, he didn’t exactly grow as a human (as in, let’s say, he was raised by other grim reapers and soul curators; superiors whose only job is to explain the nature he has and what he can do with it) so the way he learns things that are outside of his expertise as a Grim Reaper is preciously naive. He knows where souls go when they die but he gasps when colorant is added to batter or gelatin; he’s in touch with death but widens his eyes with genuine innocence when you place a new device upon pallid hands.  As a Grim Reaper, his innocence hasn’t ended. And it doesn’t really end, even when he eventually finds out who he really is. Of course, the weight is heavier on his shoulders, and we can see him acquire this wonderful maturity when he understands why things are the way they are; when he learns about full forgiveness, when he comprehends the real lesson behind his role as Saja. But the childish wonder still lives with him. 

holly :   how strong is your muse’s sense of intuition ?  are they aware of it ?   do they ever fear that it is only paranoia ?  

When it comes to matters of death, Reaper’s intuition is very strong. He understands immediately; gets a tight grasp of it and can explain this without hesitation. He is, indeed, aware of this; knows that the concept of demise and his presence are now interconnected and he has to play a role once the final exit of someone happens. Reaper can tell when others have experienced death, directly or indirectly; senses the aura. Since this is something that comes in the package when becoming an Angel of Death, he doesn’t fear it; doesn’t believe it’s paranoia. It’s just another ability of his.  HOWEVER, when it comes to other things, his sense of intuition is poor. I don’t even think he fully understands what a gut feeling is IWHDWIUEDH; my son’s compass is unstable when dealing with possible hunches and does not know what’s going on most of the time, please help him-----in this sense, he can think it’s paranoia or panic kicking in; could even have dramatic moments about this 😂

poppy :   what comforts your muse ?

Being in the company of people he’s fond of (getting to hear them, see them; know that they’re there, really brings him comfort, especially when he’s down), making people smile through random acts of kindness, straws, his favorite shows; when souls he guides seem to be at ease and comfortable when opening the door and climbing up the stairs to their next life; sitting next to a window as he watches people exist whilst drinking an iced americano with a straw. He also gets very comforted when his loved ones say nice things about him, when they reassure him in moments of doubt (because he does have these spaces where he focuses too much on all of it being a punishment, him being a sinner, etc.). 

#ofgentleresolve #♔ || about. #HELLO DEAR FERRE :D THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS IN!!!! ;W; ANS FOR LETTING ME!!! TALK MORE ABOUT MY REAPER SON #The 'innocence' question made me wEEP but it's perfect when it comes to Reaper since he's the most innocent out of the three versions in #this blog ;WWWWWWWW; #I HOPE THE ANSWERS MAKE SENSE IWDHIWUEDH THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR SENDING THIS IN <3 #PLS HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!! #♔ || queue.

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 7

The world’s most amicable mugging continues in this episode, as Shen Wei waits for Zhao Yunlan to spring into his defence as his personal knight in shining armour. Or, as the official subtitle of the episode states:

I kid you not. Here’s the original with the alternate translation.

I am once more very much not mad at it. 

I say that Shen Wei’s mugging is amicable, but that is of course is before one of the “gangsters” tries to grab at his Pendant of Pining. “It’s not something that you people can touch”, he states, easily restraining the man’s wrist. He’s not losing his composure just yet, but his warrior’s stance is showing, and he comes pretty close to breaking cover.

Thankfully, this is when Zhao Yunlan shows up to intervene. Hearing him approach, Shen Wei’s first priority is hiding the Pendant of Pining. His second priority is straightening his collar and tightening his tie. Shen Wei may be in a middle of an attempted mugging, but he’d be damned if he allows Zhao Yunlan to see him dishevelled. Come to think of it, it’s kind of hilarious that Shen Wei’s attempt at pretending to be a poor helpless human includes being completely nonplussed by being attacked. Surely freaking out a little would be an infinitely less suspicious choice. 

Yunlan politely but firmly pushes the professor aside, and Shen Wei waits patiently next to the wall, neatly folding his hands the same way he did at the unpleasant councillor meeting in the previous episode. 

Here we finally see that Zhao Yunlan is pretty impressive in hand to hand combat. This man may not have a sword, but he can easily knock two dudes out with three moves. Again, this is a very short, but pretty damn flawless little piece of choreography. Zhao Yunlan’s fighting prowess is even more accentuated with a gleeful adrenaline-filled grin he breaks into after he’s done. I understand Shen Wei’s endless desire to protect the man he’s devoted to, but, honestly, it’s nice to see Zhao Yunlan not really needing protection - not against simple street crime at least. 

Shen Wei proceeds to calmly dust off his discarded briefcase. Zhao Yunlan proceeds to retrieve the other man’s watch from the ground and then passes it on. With physical contact. Should I be obsessing over how their fingers linger together for a second? Maybe not. I am doing it anyway. 

“What a coincidence”, deadpans Shen Wei, who knows for the fact that the other man is tailing him, and causes a delightful burst of faux outrage in response. 

“What are you implying?”, Zhao Yunlan asks innocently, deflecting further by inquiring whether Shen Wei thinks he staged this little rescue mission. He follows it with “Only you’re allowed to be here this time of night?”, which I choose to read as, “Really, Shen Wei. Why do you think you should have a monopoly on stalking in this relationship?”

As the two are distracted by the low key flirting, one of the muggers makes an opportunity attack on Zhao Yunlan. Shen Wei is alarming Yunlan to this with genuine worry, but does not lose his composure enough to intervene.  

We are treated to another excellent three moves, which are block-break-backfist. Well mixed sound helps, but Bai Yu does look very good as well. The footage does not appear sped up at all, but his movements are fast and crisp, he’s engaging his whole body, everything lands well angle-wise, it’s appropriately safe... Again, I cannot fault this at all. Bai Yu is not physically strong, and this just goes to show that you don’t need a lot of muscle to look like you can be an effective fighter. I don’t want to go into long detail on western media’s obsession with unrealistic physical standards in action media, but suffice it to say that it’s an unhealthy and pointless aesthetic choice which has nothing to do with reality of combat performance - as this scene clearly illustrates. (Look. As I said, stage violence is one of my jobs, and I’m a curvy woman who spends a lot of her time with insecure young actors and drama students. I have opinions.)

Having fended off the attack, Zhao Yunlan exaggerates the situation with the proverb “talking too much will get you killed.” Shen Wei is obviously distressed over his choice of words, but he looks down to hide it. 

At this point the two decide to go home instead of getting the street criminals off the street. 

Zhao Yunlan follows Shen Wei into his flat, pretending very loudly that he has not seen this place before. He is trying way too hard. And there is a touch of a naughtily feline glimmer in his eyes, because he is probably still on that adrenaline rush: his heart would be pounding, senses elevated, brain basking in a pleasant sharpness akin to a sugar rush, when everything is a little bit too saturated. And an attractive mysterious man he just saved is asking him to stay. Zhao Yunlan’s going to have even less brain to mouth filter here than he usually does. 

Shen Wei is getting a first aid to kit to treat Zhao Yunlan’s injuries. It’s anyone’s guess why the self-healing Envoy needs a first aid kit at all - it lives in a Tupperware box as well, suggesting that it’s been assembled and organised by hand rather than store bought. 

Sitting down, and tucking his tie in (because neatness is everything), Shen Wei prepares to administer a mysterious ointment to Zhao Yunlan’s bruise, and states that this is him giving Chief Zhao an opportunity for interrogation. I bet he has got a lie prepared for any question, because this situation has definitely been pre-planned. 

Instead of probing the other man, Zhao Yunlan offers him a job. Shen Wei’s answer is a firm no, which he utters without even a second hesitation. To Zhao Yunlan, this clearly reads as a rejection, as his face crumbles. 

He livens up however, when Shen Wei hurries to add that this is not a denial of help or cooperation. Zhao Yunlan is right to ask why he would take the job then case; this is an entirely reasonable question. I’m guessing, Shen Wei’s reluctance comes from his unwillingness to compromise Hei Pao Shi’s position, rather than an attempt to prevent Zhao Yunlan from getting involved in the cosmic shitstorm which is currently brewing: as the Lord Guardian, he’s gonna get right in the middle of said storm either way. 

“You just move in and didn’t invite your neighbour over for some fun?”, Zhao Yunlan asks.

Laying it on really thick, I see. 

Shen Wei blinks disbelievingly, as if to say “did he just…?” then recovers enough to huff out a laugh.

“My mistake. Next time, I’ll properly invite you.”

Zhao Yunlan snaps his fingers in delight, visibly vibrating with joy. In his head this is Yunlan - 1: Xiao Wei - 0. 

As Shen Wei starts to apply the mysterious ointment, Zhao Yunlan flinches, and Shen Wei is genuinely taken aback by an idea that he might hurt this man. He is so preciously startled for a second, shedding ten thousand years in an instant. I am never going to not be impressed by Zhu Yilong’s ability to switch into Baby Shen Wei mode in a matter of seconds. 

“I didn’t expect you to have such skilful hands.”

Zhao Yunlan’s charm attack truly is unrelenting, and Shen Wei looks up with such a fragile hope in his eyes. He has lived a long time now, and he has learned to maintain thick walls around himself, but he is still incredibly affected by Kunlun’s shameless flirting. 

Continuing his charm offensive, Zhao Yunlan gets so distracted by trying to further impress Shen Wei, he unwittingly reveals that he knows the layout of this flat. And realises what he said. And hopes that the other man had not noticed, adorably brushing his nose in embarrassment. 

He dug this one out for himself, and Shen Wei is far from mortified: he is pleased to have caught the other man out. Zhao Yunlan flails, and Shen Wei quite literally is failing to wipe a smug smile off his own face. 

He’s not even really waiting for an explanation. He’s just happy to win this round. There is even a little “yeah sure let’s pretend I believe you” tilt of the eyebrow, when Yunlan finally comes up with something that sounds as a reasonable excuse. 

After his massive blunder, Zhao Yunlan tries to leave again. Shen Wei stops him, again, and there is no limit to how slyly Zhao Yunlan turns around, followed by a hind of disappointment when all he gets is an ointment, and not, you know, an opportunity to have a good look around Shen Wei’s bedroom. 

Shen Wei is left alone in his flat in a state of utter emotional overload, stroking the Pendant under his shirt. 

Let’s disregard for a second the fluctuating length of the chord the Pendant hangs on (is it between his collar bones or in front of his breastbone? Pick one!), and just appreciate the pining. Shen Wei is going through a lot of feelings since his Kunlun’s returned into his life, and sometimes computing is not an option. 

In the next scene, the muggers are discussing Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, calling them both too formidable to even attempt an act of revenge against them. Definitely a wise idea. Unfortunately for them, they immediately get attacked by… something.

Spoiler alert: no, it’s not a bear.

It’s the White Shirt Day at the SID. Chu Shuzhi is the only one not participating. In this scene, we discover that Lin Jing likes a horror web novelist called Lai Su - which will be very convenient for the case at hand. During their conversation, Wang Zheng alerts he team to the new case, asking for the whereabouts of their boss. Zhu Hong’s reply is that who knows which old pal the man is hang out with. As we never see him having any friends outside of his job, I choose to believe that he is probably hanging out with Shen Wei; quite possibly exploring the layout of his bedroom. Especially considering how good his mood is as he strolls into the office announcing that he is going to buy a feast for everyone.

Unfortunately, the feast has to wait. Zhao Yunlan, Chu Shuzhi and Xiao Guo head towards the crime scene, which is the very same alley the mugging took place the night before. 

“Based on my experience, he died from freezing.” 

There has never been a more apt reason to use the phrase “no shit Sherlock”. 

Apparently, there is a cctv camera trained right on this very particular dark alley. Which implies that the muggers were even less professional than they appeared to be at the beginning of the episode. Mysteriously, the footage fails to show the actual monster who attacked the poor unfortunate street criminals. It did, on the other hand, capture Zhao Yunlan’s dashing rescue of Professor Shen.

Zhao Yunlan can’t exactly stop his team from rewinding the footage, so he is just left squirming as those around him gape at him spending time with Shen Wei in the middle of the night. 

“You... and Shen Wei? This late at night?”

Chu Shuzhi’s transition from disbelief to a knowing “ah” via a mischievous smirk is particularly amusing. 

The following afternoon, Zhu Hong appears in Shen Wei’s office, laptop in hand. She is quietly furious at being given this task; as I imagine it is very awkward indeed to be a laptop carrier for your crush’s crush. The entire scene she will be alternating between glaring, rolling her eyes, pursing her lips, and glaring with even more venom. 

After Shen Wei gets over his initial bafflement at technology, he realises that Zhao Yunlan is video calling him in order to ask for his expertise on the current case. For the most of this scene the call looks like some sort of fake generic video conference software, apart from some shots on the SID side which very obviously show a pre-recorded footage being played: with a pause button, and a time stamp, and everything.

Shen Wei is in full trolling mode when he educates the SID team on all the types of bears that could have attacked the victim. He tasted this feeling of outsmarting Yunlan the night before and it’s too sweet to let go. Judging by the fact that Da Qing, who is by Zhao Yunlan’s side, is falling asleep during this conversation, we can guess that it’s been going on for a while. 

Zhao Yunlan knows that Shen Wei is trying to prove a point here - he will not be bullied into being a consultant. So, Zhao Yunlan changes tactics, and asks Shen Wei for clues as a friend. Shen Wei assures Zhao Yunlan in turn that he would never hide anything important from. The magnitude of this particular lie is immeasurable, unless Shen Wei considers turning himself into a literal suicide bomb inconsequential. Which, to be fair, he might do. 

Finally, Da Qing wakes up and suggests that the suspect is a Youchu (translated in subs a “secluded beast”). He is not correct, but it is important that we know what those are, because we’ll see them in a couple of episodes - so it actually makes sense to write them in here. 

Shen Wei instantly comes forward, fishes a relevant file out of his drawer, and educates the team on that particular monster. Zhao Yunlan relates that he is familiar with those, and that he knows Hei Pao Shi fought them before in nearby cities. 

Existence of aforementioned nearby cities will remain a beautiful enigma, which will never be explained. Seastar will remain very much a Little Prince-sized planet. 

At this point Zhao Yunlan gets a call about the other mugger being found, and Shen Wei tells him in a rush that he does not think those two men possess Undergrounder qualities. 

When asked however what those qualities are, he does not elaborate, and, after a thick silence, Zhao Yunlan sighs in resignation and finally lets Shen Wei off the hook, assuring him that he knows not all Undergrounders are monsters. He knows - of course he knows - that Shen Wei is hiding stuff. He knows the other man is somehow invested in the Undergounders, and is probably is one himself.  Once again he chooses to trust him absolutely. I know it feels like I say those words every single episode, but this is also the choice Zhao Yunlan makes, deliberately, every single episode. This conversation will leave Zhao Yunlan very cranky for the remainder for the case, but his willingness to keep giving Shen Wei concessions is actually really sweet. 

Shen Wei asks, perhaps, impulsively, that Yunlan shares his findings with him, because he is curious who the culprit is. It makes, as ever, little sense for him to do so considering that he would find it out anyway as Hei Pao Shi.

After completing her mission, Zhu Hong leaves in a huff. She did not say hello and she does not say goodbye either. Shen Wei tries to wave amicably, but aborts the gesture.

He does not yet know - and will not find out for quite some time - why Zhu Hong feels so antagonistic towards him. 

Next stop: the hospital ward with a now insane criminal. Portrayal of mental health issues on this show is... interesting, by which I mean terribly stigmatising. I would have understood if this was a magic-induced psychosis, but I don’t think that’s the case at all. 

Lin Jing realises that the case sounds very much like the web horror novel he likes. It sounds insane, but Yunlan hears him out. The scientist goes into great detail over the author, revealing that he was a leader of his fan club at some point, and detailing several murders from his recent novel that appeared to have have happened in reality.

The team moves on to scout the author’s - Lai Su’s - house, with Zhao Yunlan being the one to approach it. He then proceeds to summon his team via a non-existent radio. 

Look. There is no mouth piece on this jacket. There is no earpiece in his ear. There are no wires. None of the team have radios. None of them even look like they are listening to radios. (Trust me, the “please shut up for a second, someone is speaking into my ear” is a recognisable look). Guardian’s writers/directors. Mah dudes. If you can’t afford radios, just make him do a non-verbal signal, seriously. Same effect, with much less silliness, and no continuity issues. 

Before the team enters the house, we see Ya Qing in crow form for the first time. Even without the benefit of hindsight, it’s easy to recognise that the crow will become narratively significant because she is animated, and this show would not waste its very scarce and rapidly depleting CGI budget in vein. 

We also know that the crow is a Yashou because Lin Jing starts talking about Zhu Hong at that exactly moment. Guardian is many wonderful things - it’s dramatic, breathtaking, heart-wrenching, and poignant - but subtle it is not.

Inside the house, they discover a secret room, which Lai Su is hiding in, and we finally get to meet our unfortunate culprit. 

It is very peculiar how mean-spirited this episode seems to be. The web novelist in question is shown in an unequivocally negative light. He is a coward hiding behind a blanket, a weirdo living in a secret room, a glutton stuffing his face with snacks and drinking wine. He is shown as too vain to stop chasing clout even when he suspects that his novel is leading to people dying. He writes for attention and money rather than out of genuine artistic expression. He is a whimpering mess, begging Lin Jing on his knees to speak to the Chief on his behalf. Even if we consider that moral of the story (as stated later in Guo Changcheng’s diary note) is “internet bad”, this insistence of making Lai Su so unmistakably despicable is baffling. The series is based on the web novel. What kind of message is this sending about its origins?  

On the bright side, I suppose it is nice that part of this episode not revolving around Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei’s relationship is actually rather Lin Jing-centric. So far, he was mostly there for occasional tech support and countless shots of him of screaming at a computer, but here we get to know more about him, and he goes on a little emotional journey of his own - meeting his idol and being distraught by the author not living up to expectations. It is always so disappointing to see creators you admire being imperfect, or downright unpleasant, and it’s easy to sympathise with Lin Jing’s discontent. 

Zhao Yunlan’s modus operandi has always been intuition. Looking at the author, he knows that he must be responsible for the murders, and also knows that he could not possibly have been. For once it is actually Xiao Guo who suggests the solution: multiple personality disorder. Or, magical multiple personality disorder, as it is the case. We see this click with the Chief, and he genuinely praises the young man. 

Back at the house, Lai Su is deciding to stop the murder spree by writing the demise of the homicidal protagonist of his novel. This is his ultimate redemption, which also leads to his untimely death by the hands of the monster who lives within him and is manifested through his writing. 

The team asks Zhao Yunlan what was going on with this strange case. They won’t get an explanation; but Shen Wei will. 

Zhao Yunlan, as promised, drops by Shen Wei’s office late at night to tell him all about the case. He concludes that Lai Su must have had Undergrounder blood in him, with his power not manifesting until now. Zhao Yunlan sounds rather remorseful as he stipulates that the writer could have lived a long happy life despite his origin and abilities, had he not started unknowingly abusing his powers. This Zhao Yunlan is miles removed from the man who vowed to catch every Undergrounder, and we can see Shen Wei infinitely moved by this man’s empathy. 

This, I think, is the very moment Shen Wei starts to fall in love - not with the man who was Kunlun, or the man who will be Kunlun, or the man who resembles Kunlun - with Zhao Yunlan, Lord Guardian, Chief of Special Investigations Department, with all his incessant flirting, and sharp edges, and pointed questions, and endless understanding. 

In the final moments of this episode Zhao Yunlan shares a dark premonition that something truly terrible will happen in their city. 

He has no idea how right he is. 

Next up: Episode 8: The Morning Porridge 

——

This conversation happened with my partner as I was working on this recap:

Me: … I am two scenes in and this is how much I’ve typed up already. 

My partner: Honey! I know you’re Russian, but War and Peace has already been written. 

#guardian #zhao yunlan #shen wei #weilan #recap #rewatch #those are getting longer and longer

[teatitty]

*rolls up sleeves* As you wish! This is a long one though, so buckle up! ☆

So, in Lostbelt 6 we finally got Beryl's backstory. And it was every bit as awful as a lot of people had been surmising, if not worse. He did horrible things to Mash, and the worst part of all is it was justified in his mind through his "love" for her. But the crowning jewel of it all was it being confirmed that when Roman booted Beryl from Mash's room during the infamous "sneaking in incident" itself, he didn't do it kindly. It was also implied pretty strongly that not only was he not calm about throwing Beryl out, but that it was a miracle that Beryl walked away from the experience at all. This fits nicely with the "Romani is super protective of the people he cares about, almost to a fault, and can be absolutely vicious about it if pushed hard enough" vibe, which is cool. Very validating to see the doc getting to be more three-dimensional as a character. But we also know Roman is suuuper hard on himself, and tends to earnestly gather the opinions of others to assess who he is as a person. So I'd imagine he'd be a little out of sorts following such a huge event, especially since there's part of him that knows if he still had his clairvoyance, he could have prevented the entire thing from happening at all. But he's still a bit green as a normal human, and so not very good at hiding his emotions, and the turbulence he's feeling towards Beryl and himself and everything else is written aaalll over his face. And between the blaze in his eyes and the rumors spreading around Chaldea like wildfire, a lot of people start to... steer clear of him. Cautionary whispers start to circulate that it's best not to anger the Director's favorite doctor, that he's secretly a loose canon just waiting to unload on the next unfortunate soul to give him a chance. No one could be that sincere anyway, they reason, so it makes sense that Roman's bubbly facade was hiding something nasty beneath it. And Roman's seen this behavior before. The whispering, the distance, all of it. Being the King of Mages illicited similar reactions, after all, and he was no stranger to being, well, a stranger. So he settles in to the notion of a second life of isolation, and draws back from the people around him. It was only a matter of time before the jig was up anyway.

At least, that's what he was thinking before he was startled halfway back to the Throne by the resounding clink of a coffee cup being set down beside him. The clang was loud enough that the whole cafeteria came to a halt, the spotlight suddenly placed securely on the secluded little corner Romani had been brooding in, and truthfully he was half-afraid to look for fear that the empty cup of his own he'd been ignoring had shattered on its own. That was honestly the last thing he needed right now, more evidence that he was frothing at the mouth, right? But then a laugh like bells reached his ears, and he turned to see Leo standing there with the warmest, softest look he'd ever seen her wear. She looked angelic, absolutely ethereal, and the slight crease at her eyes seemed to say "it's all going to be okay now." Naturally, he blinked and it was gone, and with perfect timing Leonardo had slid into one of the seats opposed to him with a flourish, loudly proclaiming to the shock of the onlookers that it was near criminal to mope in the presence of a genius, especially one who'd brought coffee to share. Beside himself, Romani could only gawk, blinking owlishly at the Heroic Spirit who, up until this point, seemed to only regard him with frustration and mild annoyance at best. But if Da Vinci recollected such experiences, she didn't show it, her gaze instead regarding him as if they were the oldest of friends before sweeping around challengingly across her audience, daring them to speak against her judgement. And though it was a bit awkward at first, it was... nice to have someone to talk to, Roman thought. (Even someone who liked coffee with not nearly enough sugar in it).

Of course, that was hardly the end of it. And when the rumors spread to Leo, hissed in secret by concerned staff, suddenly people find that green wasn't quite so scary a color as blue. She listens to the stir with a smile sharp as the talons drumming idly on the table in front of her, and the look in her dazzling doe eyes threatens them to give her every last detail they know. The picture of poise, her champagne tone is so thick with murder you could paint with it, and yet crafted so artfully it leaves the gossipers wondering if they've hallucinated the malicious aura around them or not. But a genius knows the value of patience when weaving a trap, and so she waits, and she waits, and she waits. She provides polite insight, little nods that she was paying attention, and little else, little more. Just a friendly conversation.... until the gossipers have so thoroughly locked themselves in with lies it's almost too easy to obliterate them in their tracks.

You see, what nobody knew was that Leo was there when Roman through Beryl out, her instincts as a high ranking Heroic Spirit tipping her off to the sudden tidal wave of of mana coming from Mash's quarters in the medbay. She saw it all, from start to bloody finish, her presence missed among the commotion, and where others had found something to fear, Leo had felt the stir of an emotion far more ginger. How many times in her natural life had she wished for someone to protect her from the evils of the world like that? How many times had she wished in her cell for someone to sweep in and decimate the people who'd wronged her like that? Broader still, how many times had she borne witness to someone shaking their head sadly, or lamenting because yet another little girl had fallen prey to a predator who wielded too much power to ever be stopped? And yet here was this strange little pushover of a man, completely obliterating one of the Director's prized A-Team members to protect a little girl many had considered a pet project at most. She couldn't be sure about a lot of what she saw— mainly the mana where there should be none, or the strange, golden glint to Roman's eyes. But she knew she had witnessed something done in pure altruism, and that there was one less innocent who went undefended because of it. Leo was also quite used to being ostracized to various degrees herself, not that she took it personally of course! (aha...) Being such an eccentric, beautiful, charismatic, talented genius was a tough existence, after all! Not many could keep up with her, and insecure people get so mean sometimes. (Not to mention that it was even tougher when she was still back in Italy, and often twice as lonely.) So, seeing as she is also so very compassionate and wise, she simply could not allow the same fate to happen to Roman! Especially not over something like this! It was only right to rescue him from infinite exile. Anyone with a conscience would have done the same!

(But oh, if only she'd known how he'd rescue her too, and how preciously love could bloom, even in the arctic, even at the end of the world.)

GRIPS YOU TIGHTLY

ANON WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH WITH THESE TWO, YOU UNDERSTAND WHY ME AND LYRE WERE ROMAVINCI STANS THE FIRST TIME WE SAW THEM TOGETHER, THEY ARE M A R R I E D BUT EVEN OUTSIDE OF THAT YES YES YES TO ALL OF THIS BEAUTIFUL META ON THEIR CHARACTERS AND HOW THEY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE AND ALSO FUCK BERYL LIVES ACTUALLY LMAOOO

#fgo spoilers #long post #romavinci nerd #romavinci #added the tag u suggested too since u wanted it uwu #amen to asks having longer word limits now btw #I wish i had better words to share #but i am instead flailing and squealing with delight #Anonymous #asks

[clairewolf]

i would love to read a meta about your thoughts on possession horror theory since all the main characters are possessed at one point its something I haven't seen much discussion on but is super interesting since they all have such different relationships with possession!

okay this IS something i have been going off about at all times so i'd love to but be aware my thoughts on this are always super disjointed and incoherent (which is why i make video edits bc i feel like i can communicate them there clearer by connecting different clips from the show to express my point) AND this will be under the cut bc i talk about how possession -> sexual violence is like. the core premise of how possession works in spn

SO like to start with. possession in spn is pretty much inextricable from sexual violence, not just because of the act of possession itself but bc of how the show talks about it. with the case of meg and her 1.0 vessel, it's extremely blatant — in 4.02 she says "Seriously, I'm just a college girl. Sorry — was. I was walking home one night and got jumped by all this smoke. Next thing you know, I'm a prisoner..." and that is just word for word about the most textbook sexual assault scenario people think up. so that's there on a metaphorical level already, but there's also a literal level with meg actually sexually assaulting three different characters (sam in 1.16, jo in 2.14, dean in 5.02 — all while assaulting the vessel she's in at the same time), and demon deals being sealed with a kiss is also another way that manifests (and the horror in that is especially heightened in cases like bela's demon deal — she was A Child and making that deal to Escape Abuse At Home To Begin With — and mary's deal — azazel was literally possessing Her Father at the time)

then you have angels where their premise is that they can't occupy a vessel without their consent. like that's their Rule. but getting a "yes" means so little when you are going up against an angel like that. they can't technically lie to get your consent, but they can misrepresent the truth all they want. angels are all powerful and they can promise their vessels that they'll fix all of their problems. sam tells lucifer that he'll die before saying yes to him and lucifer says he can just resurrect him, there's no way to avoid him. i think a lot about what castiel must have said to claire to get her to agree to become his vessel — in my head he told her that if she agrees, he will bring jimmy home bc that is exactly the kind of thing a ten year old in her situation would agree to. and then castiel goes to jimmy and tells him. "it's time to go home now. your real home. you'll rest forever in the fields of the lord." and to cas that is… Keeping His Promises. but i'm sure claire internally was going I DIDN'T AGREE TO THAT. so angel consent is really just as flimsy as straight up demon possession, to me.

aaaand then of course you have the sam and gadreel plotline wherein sam is LITERALLY tricked into saying yes and kept locked away living fake realities in his brain when gadreel takes over and dean keeps lying to sam's face so sam doesn't find out the truth about what is happening in his own body etc etc. gadreel manipulated dean into it by lying about his own identity and lying about how long he would stay in sam and just generally lying about everything. it's obviously extremely loaded and horrifying for sam who already has so much body/possession trauma behind him at that point (lucifer, meg, that kid in swap meat, etc you get the picture!) AND struggling with perception of reality post-hell AND on top of that gadreel like. kills sam's friend. while wearing his body. so sam has that to deal with forever on top of all of these other retraumatizing sets of circumstance. [sam is also the victim of the MOST sexualized language when it comes to possession, eg lucifer is wearing you to the prom eg you're like that prom date that keeps turning me down eg a dozen other lucifer lines i don't expect you want me to repeat in this post]

with dean i think a lot of problems stem from the idea that he is Made for doing x thing. like he's made for being a hunter he's made for watching out for his brother he's daddy's blunt little instrument. he Could change and he's constantly taunted by all the ways that he could change but he won't, bc he thinks it's too late for him, or that bad things will happen if he does, or he's just not capable of changing for good. so then you get the angels telling him that he's Made to be michael's perfect vessel and taunting him with visions of how he will ruin the entire world and everything he cares about if he says no and that breaks him down like, pretty fucking fast. and he survives season 5 without saying yes to michael at the cost of sam jumping into the pit with lucifer which is obviously. everything he was most afraid of happening anyway. and then fast forward eight years and alt universe michael makes dean his vessel anyway so the theme of Inevitability is just always There he really was Made To Be This

and then cas is, as i was talking about earlier with @eurydicecas (hi i hope u do not mind the tag), the only one who has been on BOTH sides of this like cas possessed jimmy and then lucifer possessed cas and it's like — the show never really gives the proper attention to how cas feels about all of this, we know he says yes because he's suffering from chronic I Want To Feel Useful To The Winchesters (dean) disorder but the aftermath of that is really barely explored and it's just a huge missed opportunity. but we were also talking about how with angels and consent it's like angels aren't always cognizant of how much they stack the deck against their vessels to control their consent — they think that as long as they can promise their vessel goes to heaven and lives in eternal peace in the end, does it really matter whether they die at 30 or at 80? the preciousness of human life and their time on earth is just NOT something they understand, and most of them don't want to understand, but cas does learn that! he grows to love the world like a human would and even spend time as one and feel as one and THEN… be used as a vessel as one for lucifer. like. by that point it's NOT jimmy's body it is HIS body he feels a sense of pride in it he feels at home in it and then he spends all that time waiting in the bunker kitchen in his brain its just fhfkgsmd. insane.

anyway none of this is truly meta it's just me getting a ramble of thoughts out about this because it is something i am extremely passionate about and love to talk about but it's so hard to get my thoughts about it out in an organized way bc at the end of the day it all just makes me !! so !! insane !!

#ask #mine #people can feel free to add on to this or give their own thoughts i am truly just saying shit!!! but possession in spn is the only thing on #my brain right now.

[lazyyogi]

Hello LY. I know u r very busy those days so it's ok if u dont have time to reply to this ask. My dad died last summer. Few months have passed, life goes on and it feels terrible. It's like "back to normal" except nothing's normal as he's not around anymore. I hate this new reality, idk what to do with it, idk how to be in it, nothing makes sense. I try to breathe and keep calm but the pain is so unbearable. Do u have any insight on how to keep going through that pain ?

Hello, brother. I extend my heart to yours, I see your grief, and I offer you love. 

At times, maybe all we can do is just breathe and take things one day at a time. If that is where you find yourself right now, simply stay with it. 

When I was 18 years old, the last thing my father said to me before he died from cancer was, “There are some things you cannot question.” 

As humans we are used to being able to do something about almost anything. Even if that doesn’t always change things at least we can direct our efforts in a meaningful way. But with death and dying, there comes a point in which nothing can be done. There are few times in life in which we will come up against something so completely final that we are utterly helpless. This is one of those times. It is when we must begin to understand surrender and acceptance. 

There is no “back to normal” because the very circumstances that had defined “normal” have changed. Trying to get back toward those old circumstances is a non-acceptance of how things are now. Like it or not, there is a new normal. This is how the wheel of samsara, of impermanence, turns. The question is: How will you move forward?

A new normal is like moving to a new city and starting a new job. Everything can feel uncertain, awkward, different. It takes some time to acclimate and find your rhythm.

After my father died, I saw a therapist once a week for a couple of months. It was helpful just to have a space that wasn’t entangled by personally biased thoughts in which I could talk about things. It’s not like you have to be in therapy for the rest for your life but seeing a therapist can be helpful during your grief process. 

Additionally, my father’s passing is what turned me to the spiritual path. Before then I had been very interested in all things occult, supernatural, and magickal. However once he died, I felt that it didn’t matter what we achieved, how much wealth we gathered, or what experiences we had in life. It all ends and we take nothing with us. So then what really does matter? What did it mean to be born, to live, and die? And what happens after death? What is consciousness?

I didn’t want answers, I wanted insight. I wanted my own direct understanding. And that is what led me to meditation.

I am not saying this will be the solution for you. On one hand, there is the pain and grief of losing someone you have loved so deeply and who has been an integral part of your life. That is an immense suffering but there are ways to approach it and process it piece by piece. I will always have a sadness when I remember my father but now that sadness is infused with love and does not cause me to suffer. You will get there. 

On the other hand, there is also the existential fear and confusion that is provoked by having someone close to you die. Whether consciously or unconsciously, it stirs our own questions regarding mortality and the meaning of life. If some of that is there for you right now, I also encourage you to explore it. Don’t cling to answers and beliefs, instead focus on the questions that arise and then pursue them with intensity, as if your life depended on it. Because it does. 

How we understand death shapes the way we choose to live. If we choose to ignore death because it seems far off and inevitable, we will live with an ignorance that plays out in various aspects of our life. If we can be fully aware of life’s impermanence and preciousness, we can be more loving toward all living beings (including ourselves) and we will not take our time for granted.

Namaste. Feel free to reach out along the way :)

[reachexceedinggrasp]

So the majority of the shows I’ve seen lately can be charitably described as ‘light entertainment’, including the ones with dark elements or more weighty, ponderous plots. They might be entertaining or interesting, they just... don’t stand up to scrutiny. Turn your brain off because this isn’t that carefully or skilfully made and you’ll only be annoyed if you start thinking about it as a whole. Including the last couple 'tragic’ historical dramas I’ve watched, which were not effective tragedy for that very reason. If you’re going to kill off the main cast, you have to earn it, and overwhelmingly writers don’t. Anyway, I’ve been getting despondent about whether stories which actually hang together and form a coherent narrative unit with consistent themes are the exception rather than the rule.

(And I feel like that should be a pretty low standard to meet, it’s sort of Step 1 of ‘being a story’: be about something! Communicate something, no matter how basic it is. Dead simple stories with rock basic messages can be revelatory! Just do it well!)

I’ve seen very little genuinely focussed or meaningful storytelling in my ventures for what feels like a long time. Basically, I can kind of count on one hand the number of films or dramas or whathaveyou I’ve seen from the last few years where it felt like the filmmakers were in complete control of their story and everything in it was purposeful and intentional. Most things have felt slapdash or shallow or fleeting. Story elements and character choices come out of nowhere just to derail already concluded arcs and fill screen time with empty repetitious drama, not to serve a meaningful narrative purpose. I would be watching with zero confidence anything in particular was going anywhere or that the writers knew where that should be. It’s just throwing shit at the wall, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type writing all the time and it fucking shows.

But then I watched Money Flower.

Money Flower is different. Money Flower is towering head and shoulders above every modern drama I’ve ever seen. Titanically good writing which rises above its genre and makes conventions seem radically new and fresh not by reinventing them or deconstructing them, but by playing them straight, taking them seriously, and committing 1000%. This is all your familiar rich family tropes but with masterpiece execution, infused with consequence and meaning because they’re all driven by the psychology of complex three-dimensional characters. So many moving pieces and none of them are random or unmotivated. Just... GOOD WRITING. And I want to make the point that it is this wherein art lives. The difference between a rank Lifetime movie and Romeo and Juliet is not novelty or tropes or plot twists- it’s execution.

This show is such a perfect example that it is not ‘mere events’ (aka plot) or novelty or shock value or cool ideas which separates something brilliant and timeless from forgettable schlock; it is solely and entirely execution. It’s writing itself, if you know what I mean. You can describe many of Shakespeare’s tragedies and history plays as soap opera plots. What makes Macbeth a deathless masterwork and Death Wish Hollywood wank isn’t a fundamental difference in subject or genre. It’s Shakespeare’s characterisation and purposeful storytelling. It’s the poetry of the dialogue. It’s the craft of writing. Most of Shakespeare’s plots are based on existing stories or on historical events and that has never mattered because novelty is not an inherent good or of any inherent artistic value.

Like, this is the problem with storytelling right now blah blah GOT, shitty endings everywhere etc. because power over the audience (can’t let anyone guess the plot, looking ‘clever’ with meaningless callbacks) and novelty are valued over narrative structure or things making sense or emotional verisimilitude. We have so many writers thinking being ‘shocking’ is all it takes to be a genius. It’s easy to be shocking if your story makes no goddamn sense because things that don’t make sense are literally unpredictable. Not in a good way, though. A great twist or sudden swerve needs to be unexpected but inevitable in hindsight or it does not work. I should be able to rewatch your thing and think ‘oh, of course! you can see it was [x] all along!’

We have so many popular writers now who are so shallow they don’t think anything needs to make sense on a character or emotional level. They don’t think their story has to be about anything. Substance is irrelevant as long as the surface is flashy enough. That has no staying power, you can only watch it once and you will forget about it quickly.

However, if you have ever wanted to experience the constant heightened stakes and High Drama of a soap opera without being annoyed at how ridiculous it all is and while actually giving a shit about the characters because they feel like real human beings, if you’ve wanted to feel repercussions when characters make choices, and get the emotional payoff that is the entire point of drama- now you can. Watch Money Flower. And let me tell you, it is fucking riveting. This show is mostly made up of people sitting in rooms talking and yet it is heart-pounding excitement nearly every episode. It is profoundly traditional and by the book while being totally fresh. It’s the most engrossing and satisfying artistic experience I’ve had in a long time.

Like, THE TENSION, THE DRAMA, THE REVEALS!!! You can, in fact, spend most of 24+ hours on the edge of your seat about family problems and business mergers. It seems unlikely, but that is the power of this series, it creates insanely high stakes and mesmerising suspense out of the most commonplace ingredients. Familiar plot elements become brand new and surprising under the deftness and tightness of this narrative. The plot itself is certainly 100% melodrama but it never feels like a soap opera and is never ever soapy in in a pejorative sense because it handles its classic tropes with such maturity and nuance that it's like you've never seen them before. The writing is incredible.

It is on an entirely different level than the vast majority of dramas, with a total self-assurance that keeps the pacing relentless yet unhurried- taking its time to let the impact of events be felt, the narrative always knowing exactly where it’s going and how to get there. The characters are all multi-faceted and unpredictable without ever being incoherent, their motives and goals always being gradually uncovered in more detail that only makes the storytelling and characterisation even tighter, even richer. The twists and cliffhangers are always mind-blowing but always earned, never cheap or nonsensical, and I can't remember ever thinking that about another show. (There’s literally one exception towards the very end where something a bit random happens for reasons of pure symbolism- it’s a misstep imo but it’s minor in the scheme of things)

Every time I started to doubt the writing, started to think ‘oh no, they’re going off the rails’, they showed me I was wrong and they were in total control. The only 'problem' with the show is that the drama is also profoundly painful to watch unfold, particularly in the beginning, because it's a story where everyone makes terrible life choices and moral corruption is everywhere. It's hypnotic though, like a car crash. If you can handle something dark, insidious, cerebral, and character-driven there is nothing I've seen in the same vein that can approach its brilliance. It’s like The Magnificent Ambersons as a slick modern revenge drama. There is also (PRECIOUSLY!!) a core of stunning romanticism around which all the horrors revolve and that saves it from becoming hideous or cynical. There is a chance for redemption and a new beginning after all, in spite of all appearances.

The ending has apparently been controversial, and it is definitely not quite as climatic as you would have expected given how powerfully climatic almost every regular episode is, but it's a good ending. There isn't full closure, they don't provide final resolution in a bow, but to me it's an ending about hope. It suggests optimism for our characters and I was satisfied with that. It's extremely rare for a 'revenge story’ to allow this kind of room for healing and it can do that because, imo, we discover in the end that it wasn't ultimately vengeance in Pil Joo’s heart. He has not become a tragic hero who will be consumed by the cannibalistic darkness of revenge, his quest was for justice. He teeters on the edge of the abyss but he avoided falling in; he didn't sell his soul, at least not irrevocably.

He is nonetheless a very tragic figure and an anti-hero, but despite having dedicated his life to bringing down the Jang cabal, it’s not that he’ll stop at nothing. He will make any personal sacrifice no matter how desolate, he lives as a mere husk of a man, and he facilitates enormous emotional harm to others in service of his goals, but he has ethical hard lines he never considers crossing. His sense of decency and compassion is never extinguished; he does care about the collateral damage he is causing even when making justifications for it. It’s important to him to give people as much agency as possible in their choices, to mitigate the damage done by his schemes as much as he can. To try to prevent harm coming to undeserving bystanders. Not that this makes it okay that he uses people, which he does, but the point is he never completely surrenders his moral compass to avarice. He’s never okay with burning down the world or ruining innocent lives just to get to his target.

Pil Joo is less a vigilante and more an avenging angel, he wants justice more than retribution. He wants fairness and a better, safer world where what has happened to his family won’t happen again. The reason this story never becomes Sweeney Todd (aka: a full on tragedy where we see the inevitable outcome of lust for revenge) and the reason he can survive twenty years spent pursuing someone’s downfall is exactly that principle. Searching for retribution would have destroyed him, he would have become the very thing he hated, but instead he goes as far as necessary to publicly expose the Jangs for what they are and then willingly submits to penance for his complicity in their crimes and tries to atone with the people he hurt along the way. Purged, he’s symbolically reborn and takes back his real name to maybe finally have a chance at the life he should have had. He moves on, content, a positive force. He’s capable of healing from the ordeal because he realises he doesn’t need retaliation, just seeing them stopped and facing consequences for their actions is enough.

The love story is a superbly poignant part of this. Their love is the ‘victim’ of his revenge and it will forever be impacted by it, but it’s not something that can be killed, so there’s still hope. Mo Hyeon’s bookending rescues of Pil Joo from death mean first that he has a purpose he must fulfil and then the second time that he has freedom to finally live as himself, for himself. There’s a future. And maybe they can be together there. I’m emo about it.

Anyway, if there was the slightest doubt about me becoming a long-term Jang Hyuk fangirl, it’s been put to rest. This performance is easily one of the best I’ve ever seen, period. No contest it’s the best I’ve seen in a tv drama. It’s also the most subtle and masterful turn he's delivered in his whole career. He's so restrained, but he is giving absolutely everything; he has total control over every microexpression, every gesture, every molecule in his body. There is so much simmering under his surface, so much going on in his eyes; the layers and depths are endless. The intensity and sharp intellectual focus he brings to the character is breathtaking. Everyone else is doing amazing work too, but he is almost constantly on screen and has this spectacular command of such a sprawling story, such a complex character, and he makes it look effortless. All artifice has melted away. The fact that being so tightly contained is in stark contrast to the bombastic element in many of his other roles renders its delicate precision even more startlingly impressive. I thought he was a great actor before, but I didn’t fully appreciate what he was capable of until Pil Joo.

#money flower #kdrama #writing #jang hyuk #long post #I've written a bit before about revenge and how it will inevitably lead to tragedy #so I wouldn't without explanation even call MF a 'revenge drama' because it turns out it's a complicated yet beautiful 'hope' drama lmao #it's actually a 'romance' in the Shakespearean sense #like the Winter's Tale #I guess we just call that 'tragicomedy' now but I don't find that word very helpful or descriptive #I don't think anyone actually know what you mean when you say that #anyway the first writing that is every bit as good as the production/acting side I've seen in what feels like forever #I just feel like everything is great characters in a mess of a story or brilliant performances elevating a bad script or good start-bad end #like no one knows what they're doing any more or why #but this show is incredible #it's only not perfect because the last four episodes are not up to what you'd expect for the rest but they are still really good #just not perfect #the last episode has problems but they're not with the concept of the ending at all- the concept IS perfect #and apparently I'm the only one who thinks that lol #apparently a lot of people did not understand what was happening and some misread it as a dream sequence #(this is an insane take to me- it's really not confusing or ambiguous at all) #(bc God forbid the main character not die and have a chance to heal after his absolutely miserable life?) #but yeah it's the only time anything feels rushed or not quite smooth #and one major character's fate isn't as satisfying as it could be #but I felt like I was never going to see something as engrossing as this again for a while there #anyway anyway NEW OTP #I didn't even get into it because no one cares about my giant rant here but it's SO traditional while being VERY different idk #the romanticism was so unexpected in a show that seems like it's going to be intensely cynical- it's handled with such gravitas #romance with gravitas is PRICELESS to me #the best swerve ever is for a show to NOT be cynical when it seemed so dark- that's a plot twist I can get behind

[everyendeavor]

Water Bearer by Seena Frost

Water Bearer: Archetype of the Aquarian Age

By Seena Frost (first published in March 2005)

For over two thousand years, the archetype of the Light Bearer has been foremost in human spiritual life—certainly, at any rate, in our western world. The Greeks told the story of the mortal Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and brought it back to humankind. There was Christ, who brought Light into a dark world, and Moses, who brought the light of law. Buddha brought the hope of enlightenment. The light symbol is also present in the Prophet of Islam. Each can be seen as an embodiment of the Light Bearer archetype. These examples are, notably, all male. The absence of a powerful feminine archetype over the last few millenniums may well be one cause of the present imbalance in both our worldly and spiritual lives—an imbalance that threatens the world and all its living populations.

I am certain that we live in a time when a feminine archetype is rising back into human consciousness—one that has been active and brooding deep in the world’s cosmic subconscious for eons. She is emerging and taking her place beside the male Light Bearers—not for the purpose of domination but, rather, balance. By adding her strong heart energy and compassionate “waters” to the light-giving wisdom of the male Light Bearers, she restores to our spiritual lives a potent and missing metaphor. I call this archetype the Water Bearer.

This archetypal Water Bearer truly is rising! We are now in the astrological Age of Aquarius, and the traditional symbol of this age is the Water Bearer. This metaphorical Being is usually represented as a feminine archetype. No historical or even mythical characters leap to my mind as embodiments of her in western mythology or religion.

Since the 5th century in China, however, the goddess Kwan Yin—powerful and beloved archetype of Compassion in Buddhism—is representative of the Water Bearer. She is often pictured pouring water from a small jar, symbolizing the pouring out of compassion and mercy on all beings. Kwan Yin’s image is becoming popular in the west, especially in this form as a provider of loving water for the thirsty soul. Her emergence in our collective western psyche is another indication of the rising of the Water Bearer in human psyches all over the planet—especially in the souls of women. She will soon have many imaginal embodiments and names, and water is her most precious physical gift. It is a symbol for renewing life.

My personal journey towards consciousness of the Water Bearer archetype has been gradual and lifelong. Perhaps it began when I was born in February under the sign of Aquarius, which—although an “air sign”—has as its symbol the Water Bearer. Water has always been an element I love. To celebrate my birthday one year, I went swimming with the humpback whales off the Dominican Republic coast. While on this adventure, I discovered my whale spirit guide who has apparently been with me for years, although I had not previously recognized her. Her name, she told me, is Darshan. Looking into her huge eye is, for me, to absolutely look into the Mystery of the Source of everything. I collaged a card to honor Darshan—this guide—and added it to my SoulCollage® deck.

I made another card for the Water Bearer archetype herself (see above), and she is even fiercer than the usual Kwan Yin embodiments of this archetype. While compassion is still her major attribute, she also has wild strength and great passion. She holds both anger and sadness that her gift of life-giving water has been so abused.

This archetype requires action, mindfulness and sacrifice, and demands that we awaken to the preciousness of her gift. Both death and life alike are within the Water Bearer’s power. She embodies a quality akin to the Hindu goddess Kali, for she will destroy as well as revive life. We may honor and let her work through our lives, yet we cannot begin to control or contain her.

Water! Our bodies are mostly made of it, yet we take it for granted. The enemy of the Water Bearer is drought in all its forms. It is the drying up of soul due to our busyness and our lack of attention to matters of the heart. It is our continual disregard for her gifts of water—both physical and spiritual water—that she abundantly pours out and upon which our lives depend.

May [the Water Bearer archetype] awaken in you an awareness of your own thirsts and guardianships, both exterior and interior.

Copyright © 2005 by Seena Frost (March 2005)

#seena frost #soul collage #water bearer #divine feminine #Aquarius

[littobin]

[1:37AM] "thank you so much for saving me. honestly i can't think of what would be of me without you in my life." still a bit immersed in tries of steadying your breath from the previous runaway, you giggle happily in response and hit your best friend's shoulder playfully the moment you heard him talk sweetly, out of this endearing trail of beauty that was his smile you've always thought as better than the sight of the red roses at your house's garden.

without doubts it only took him the simple action of curving his extra thin lips up like he did now, so you'd always feel comfy, no matter the kind of times or hardships you'd be into. even so despite days like this, where you two just ran like crazy down a bunch of streets until you'd get both rescued at your house, to mislead the uptown gang's members whose once again tried to cage moonbin in his magical transformations.

honestly you couldn't believe at all how was it possible to actually exist such few silly people organized like that only to chase after any unusual beings for experiments, in the middle of a modern city. but if you really were to think neither would it be normal for you to have a man who could turn into a whole giant beast right by your side as well, meeting and staying from nights to nights under the moon living the greatest, most hilarious adventures together as long as both of your uni's allowed you two to.

you've known moonbin before as he's been one of your neighbors for years, specifically that kind and friendly type who always talked to everyone in the neighborhood, until he started changing to be more reclusive out of sudden. but since you've got to occasionally find out about his secret, at one night you saw him when you were going to do your laundry and he vehemently asked you to keep it forever or both his safety and search to end his enchantment would be risked, and you promised him to, both of your lives no longer could be the same.

it was just about naturally how you two ended up getting to be good friends and he grew to be one of the biggest source of joy you'd happen to get gifted with by the skies, as of you got to know more the beautiful human he also was. and where ever couldn't you gladly go with him when he'd text you to come in his sneakings to skip out the routine, although sometimes they could bring way too much adrenaline at once. for sure if it came to him, again it'd be worthy for you to do so, over and over. "ahh stop it's nothing, you know you can always count on my guts. and it's just so much fun to."

you state out as your hand goes to ruffle moonbin's dark hair softly, which felt so silky in your fingers, causing both of you to laugh loud in sync by remembering the early scenes. of how you two fooled around the stupid gangers like it was nothing after you've untied him, scared them and made everyone at the late hour on the streets confused to watch both of you running for dear life, all while holding each other's hand between thrilled loud laughs.

just so you kept watching the boy in front of you move a bit closer, you two still sitting on the floor as he started playing with some keychains and laces you had stuck on your long black coat, one habit of his you'd recognize of whenever he felt enthusiasm, his teeth showing off cutely through the way he kept chuckling with his eyes inclined into crescents. "yes it truly was- did you see their faces when i growled though? that was amazing!"

"oh my god bin don't even tell me, it was the best part. next time we really have to bring a camera to record and rewatch it all seriously-"

once again you and moonbin break down in pure amused laughter with your extra remarks, you not being able to help but hold his hand tightly in the process.

moments like these were all you needed to feel that nothing could change or ruin this fulfilling within your chest. out of your repetitive routine there was moonbin beside you, enlightening everything with his presence and standing as your number one supporter. even though all the things that came with his curse, such as his always hungry state specially for rice bowls, hyperactivity and very little sense of his own powerful strength, things as such that nevertheless the trouble they could give, you still liked a lot.

"next time i'll be more careful.. just know you don't have to go through situations you can't handle, i'm the one who's always here to protect you instead, ok?" he said out with clear worry poured over his expression, causing you to let out another tender smile and rub his almost ocean wide shoulders in a comforting way. "i know. but i do this because you're too important to me, that's why i wouldn't hesitate to do it all over again if so."

this time it was the taller one's turn to feel kind of affected by your words, through he strangely felt a beat skip out his heart's pace and a bit of flustering over his stomach, fondness being the only thing to fulfill his pupils with the more he stared at you.

moonbin actually didn't know what hit him to come to act up so weird because of you, nor to make up such a bunch of sensations and warmth all at once. if was it either because of your extremely affectionate eyes, the sweet smell off your hair or just the beyond wonderful feeling of you by whole, but you were immensely important to him too, since when he got the opportunity to be close to you after the night you saw him transforming, but you didn't treat him like the monster he himself knew he was. thanks to you with time he got back to be his normal self before the curse, always bright and talkative, and in some way, somehow he wanted to show you all of this.

"you really should get a reward one day y/n, for real.." he chuckled softly again, as you raised up one eyebrow, wondering what new goofy stuff your best friend would be planning.

"what kind of reward, sir bin?"

with this for some reason moonbin couldn't get his head together at all. lots of thoughts rushed to his mind about what he should better give to you as response, but no one seemed just as right besides what his heart kept incessantly moving him to. so slowly by the proximity you were into, without taking his sparkling eyes off yours he just let his body lean in along to his arms both at your sides through he crawled a bit to you closer and closer to end the gap, stopping when he could touch your nose on his as your lips were just millimeters apart, his hot and a little heavier breathing against yours.

you just stayed still unable to move out of shock, no choices left but to sense your eyes widening the closer he got and the material between your lungs racing like neither of your runaways would be capable to make you feel so. moonbin in the other hand chose to stay this way for a second, sighing while looking at you in such utter adoration, and you swore to dear lord you've never seen something so preciously gorgeous as every inch of his face at that moment, and the fair light blushing tone on it. not even the three am blue moon, compared to all the comets in his chocolatey irises.

"moon, bin.." nervousness took over you in a matter of second through your lids went shut, tugging on the hem of his white t-shirt you gave him last month, which he still liked to wear often. in the same way moonbin closed his eyes too and tightened a bit his strong arms that supported himself at your sides, starting to lovingly rub his gelid nose on yours.

"i want, to do that so bad.."

just when you gulped, flustered by how his soft boyish voice ringed so much more intimate in your ears like he never did near you, before a word could be said moonbin just pressed his lips against your own, the unbearable warmth radiating from him and his typical smell of cocoa shampoo surrounding everything around as well as causing your ears to go off like set on fire, for the first time in a while.

you felt kind of really wrong to do this, since he was one of your most special treasures, one of your most present and sincerest friends ever. yet there he was kissing you slowly, gently nibbling and moving his flushed thin lips that felt too warm, too soft on yours, in a way you'd never express, amidst quiet melting sounds and more attempts to get even closer to you although his much taller muscular figure and large back made you hardly to be seen.

nowhere into your mind you'd be able to imagine any of this happening. but after all it was still him, it still was moonbin, so in the less matter of minute you'd see it there you were already hugging his cuddly waist the way a few times you'd do, and simply letting him go the further he wished to. as through the first opening of his mouth asking for entrance, when you corresponded him it didn't take long so he'd be on top of you, with the heat of his tongue showing up within the kiss to deepen it still ever so gently, and now your hearts to rush loud in sync at the smallest touches, either by your left hand raising unconsciously to touch his chest but soon going back to hold on his waist, or him picking it for a moment to guide your fingers to the warm skin of his neck so he could feel you there.

still it all kind of felt like a dream, even more when after some more softer kisses moonbin pulled away and you were brought back to reality, but everything kept just so clouded of only him. the way he didn't stop staring at you with tenderness overflowing his manly features, the way reddish hues bloomed up his face as he tried to catch his breath, the way the hold of his hand was the same albeit the silence formed among you two. every single thing made the space marked for him grow more and more in your heart, no doubts you've never been so sure.

"you.. are a little sore, right there-" out of sudden you whisper quietly, leaving his hand to brush your thumb besides a little scratch on his cheek, the softest you could. moonbin only closes his eyes for a bit like the creature inside him would when being petted by you and lets out a small blissful smile, what kept your hand in place so you'd just take in the endearing sight.

"i hope you're not mad.."

he spoke a bit more serious although worry came back to his expression one more time, and you could say with your all it was just loving. how would you be ever mad at him, when absolutely nothing about your love for him could change, but increase.

moonbin always made the stars above the city of your world shine bright. and you just hoped more than ever you'd soon enough find how to give back his freedom and get to break his curse. however not having any clue you already did so.

- insp. beauty & beast!au.

#moonbin #astro moonbin #moonbin au #moonbin scenarios #moonbin fluff #moonbin imagine #astro #astro au #astro imagine #mj #eunwoo #rocky #jinjin #sanha #astro fluff #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #this was inspired on blue flame era but i only got the courage to post after www dbjfjdjm #also inspired on my fav disney movie and my fav boy <3 #anyways hope it's not that bad dnbdjdm #timestamps

[cinaja]

Before the Wall part 22

Summary: Five hundred years before Feyre Archeron is born, the world is much different from the one she lives in. Humans are slaves, seen as little more than animals by the Fae who rule. But things are beginning to change. Talks of rebellion is spreading and on the Continent, some Fae territories begin to consider the potential gain of War. All it takes is one spark and everything will explode.

Masterlist

----

The war keeps raging.

Soon, the days begin to blur together into a never-ending circle of battles, each one more brutal than the last. It seems like each battle ends with more corpses lying on the battlefield after the fighting ceases. Corpses piling high, entire swaths of land reduced to ashes. Sometimes, Miryam feels like the entire world is drenched.

For a few months, the Alliance keeps the upper hand. But before long, the tide begins to turn. They are losing ground and soldiers, far more than the enemy. And suddenly, they are not winning anymore.

Battle after battle, day after day.  Miryam is being sent around more, now. Soon, she begins to cherish the diplomatic trips. They are far better than the days when her help in battle is requested. She hates those days the most (she is not a soldier, she never wanted to be a soldier), but she is their only witch, so there is no choice. Some days, the Loyalists send one of their own witches to battle against her. Even when Miryam does her best to limit herself to wards, those days still end with scorched earth, entire battalions of soldiers dying in the span of heartbeats. It still surprises Miryam that she ends up winning the fights more times than not.

With each passing day, she understands more about her powers. But even though setting up wards, countering spells, now feels as natural as breathing, her magic becomes unwieldy. It feels like with each time she uses it, it slips her control more. It begins tugging at her, pushing her to let go of her control. At first, she thinks nothing of it, but soon, she has to fight for control more and more.

She doesn`t tell anyone about it. Not even Jurian. After all, everyone else is as busy as she is, trying to put out fires left and right. She figures no one really needs her problems on top of their own and with everything that is going on, her trouble with her magic seem so insignificant they are barely worth talking about.

The months bleed together. Soon, the war has been raging for two years. Three. Still, no end of the slaughter is in sight. So they keep fighting. And still, the war keeps raging.

----

They`ve been sparring for close to an hour. It has been raining all day, so they are both soaked to the bone and covered in mud. It is quite annoying, really, but Jurian certainly isn`t about to be the first to suggest that Drakon could put up a shield against the rain. If he`s being honest, he hoped the prince would do it on his own account, but he seems to be just as stubborn as Jurian and by now, they are both wet enough that it doesn`t matter anymore.

After another half an hour, they finally lower their swords. Drakon shakes his wings, sending mud flying everywhere. Then, he flicks his wrist and both him and Jurian are instantly dry.

“Fancy”, Jurian mutters, “If you ever get tired of the Prince-thing, you could still make a living as a hairdryer.”

Drakon laughs and passes Jurian his water bottle. “I think I`ll pass on that offer.”

If anyone would have told Jurian three years ago that he would ever consider a Fae – a prince, no less – one of his closest friends, he would have called the person a madman. But over the past two years, Drakon has truly become one of his closest friends. They share the running of the camp – together with Miryam, of course – and he supposes that could either lead to them becoming enemies or friends.

“Where`s Miryam, anyways?”, Drakon asks.

“Off in Telique. There was some politics stuff that needed to be done, but she should be back soon.” It`s only half the truth. The human queens wanted to see Miryam over some meeting they have planned, but it was supposed to be secret, so Jurian isn`t about to talk about it in the middle of the camp. He passes the water bottle back to Drakon and grins at him. “And while we`re talking about my amazing lover: What about you?”

“What?”

“Well, do you have your eyes set on anyone?” Jurian winks at him. “You and Mor seem to be getting along quite well. Is there anything you aren`t telling me?”

“No”, Drakon says, “No on both counts. I´m friends with Mor, nothing else.”

“Come on, now”, Jurian says, “There has to be someone. Our lives are serious enough as it is, a little joy on the side is good for you. And you really shouldn`t have trouble finding anyone.”

Truth is, Jurian thinks a little distraction would be good for Drakon – and if it turned into something serious, that would be even better. With the War, they are all busy, but Drakon isn`t just trying to keep his army together, but also run a country at the same time. As one of his best friends (together with Miryam, that is), Jurian is a bit worried.

Unfortunately, Drakon shakes his head. “There isn`t anyone. Really”, he says.

“Oh, come on, surely-“

“What are you talking about?”, a voice asks from behind them.

They both turn around to Miryam. She has pulled the hood of her cloak deep into her face to ward off the rain and is jumping from one foot to the other against the cold.

“Uhm…”, Jurian says. He looks to Drakon for help, but he quickly begins brushing some dirt off his wings. Coward. “Boy stuff”, Jurian finishes a bit lamely.

Miryam looks between them, brows raised. “Are you trying to play matchmaker for poor Drakon again?”

“No?”, Jurian says. When Miryam doesn`t look convinced, he throws his hands in the air in expiration. “Fine! I stand by what I said: Him and Mor should give it a try.”

Miryam frowns slightly. Unlike Jurian, she doesn`t seem to think that the two of them fit together, but she never told him the reason. Maybe he should ask her sometime. For all he knows, Mor might be interested in someone else.

“Talking about Mor”, Miryam says, “It`s her birthday in a few weeks.”

“You`re planning anything?”, Drakon asks. He seems eager to take the subject away from his non-existent relationships.

“We haven`t celebrated birthdays in a while”, Jurian points out. Usually, the war doesn`t allow it.

“Exactly”, Miryam says, “We`ve had preciously little to celebrate these past months. Maybe we should change that sometime.”

----

The meeting room is smaller than their usual one Telique. Darker, too. But it serves its purpose well enough, given that it only has to host less than half of the Alliance council`s members and that the meeting is supposed to be secret. Miryam had to spend the better part of the last day setting up wards around the palace a few hours away from Telique that they are using as their meeting place.

“I don`t like this”, she says softly, “If the Fae find out that we`re meeting without them – in secret, no less – it will be considered a political éclat.”

“I`m sure they also have separate meetings of their own”, one of the human queens says.

“Not that I know of.”

“If you are so against this”, Nakia drawls, “then do us all a favour and just leave. I don`t know why you got invited anyways, given that this is supposed to be an all-humans meeting.”

That comment earns her a glare from Andromache and a soft hiss from Jurian, who is sitting to Miryam`s right. Miryam for her part just ignores it. After three years of sitting on the Alliance council, she is quite used to Nakia`s sharp comments. The insults barely even sting anymore.

“What is it you called us here to discuss, then?”, she asks in her best just get this over with voice.

Nakia leans back in her chair. “I think by now, it should be clear to everyone that we are not exactly winning this war anymore. It is past time we take precautions.”

Jurian bristles. “The war is far from decided. It is too early to turn tails and run.”

“Still”, Nakia says, “it is our duty as rulers to think of ways to save our people, should this end badly.” She glances around the room, face grave. “Out Fae allies have less at stake than we do. They might lose some influence, but for us, losing might mean that every human will become a slave. We cannot risk this.”

Murmurs of agreement rise around the table. Miryam nods as well. What Nakia is saying is the truth, but she sees no way to solve that problem. They have always been gambling with high stakes in this war, but there is no other option for them to play the game.

“A good idea”, she says, nodding to Nakia. For all their personal dislike for one another, she can respect the queen`s dedication to her people. “What manner of precautions were you thinking of?”

“That is what I called you here to discuss”, Nakia says.

So they discuss. For hours, or so it seems.

“We`d need a way to keep the Fae out of the human lands”, Andromache says after a while, “Like a wall.”

“Yeah, sure”, Jurian mutters, “Let`s just pile up a bunch of bricks around the human lands. Might slow these bastards down for a total of five seconds.”

Miryam nudges him in the side. They are both tired after a sleepless night spent stuck in another meeting, but Andromache is their friend and ally. Speaking out against her like this is bad form.

“And if we used magic?”, one of the non-royal human commanders asks, “I mean, if we could create some kind of strong magical barrier – like a ward - around our lands, it might serve the purpose.”

“Might be a good idea no matter how this war ends”, someone mutters, “I, for one, would like to keep the Fae permanently out of our lands.”

“We`d still need the Fae for that, though”, another says.

“Not necessarily”, Nakia cuts in.

And suddenly, everybody is looking at Miryam. It takes her a heartbeat to catch on. (Cauldron, she is tired.)

“No”, she says, shaking her head, “I can`t… You`d need an impenetrable ward, able to hold back Fae and withstand their powers. Not only that, but it would need to be thousands of miles long. I don`t even think such a thing is possible.”

“You think”, Nakia says, “You don`t know.”

“Well, I`ve certainly never heard of anything like it.”

“But you haven`t looked into it, either.”

Miryam has to fight to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she says, “No. But even if it was possible, I wouldn`t be able to do it. It would be too complicated.” And with the way her magic is acting recently, she certainly doesn`t want to risk trying. She seems to lose control the more she uses her power, and even trying anything of that size might well be the thing to send her over the edge.

“Are you sure?”, Nakia asks, “Or is it just that you don`t really care what happens to the rest of us, as long as your precious slaves get freed?”

The entire table falls silent. Miryam just stares at her.

“You take that back”, Jurian says softly but with an edge in his voice.

Nakia lifts her chin. “Am I wrong?”

“Of course you`re wrong!” Miryam shakes her head. “I… How can you even say something like this?”

“Nakia”, Andromache says, frowning, “You`re way out of line.”

The queen hesitates for a heartbeat, then shrugs. “Apologies”, she drawls, but the smug expression remains on her face.

“Miryam”, Andromache says hesitantly, “I think we all understand that there are challenges. But it might still be worth looking into, don`t you think?”

Miryam doesn`t want to look into it. Not at all. Unfortunately, everyone else is looking at her hopefully, which means there is no way she can refuse. And even if she could… There are lives on the line. Thousands of them if this war does indeed end badly.

“I`ll do my best”, she says, “But I can`t promise anything.”

----

For the first time in weeks, the camp is quiet. Both Miryam and Jurian are gone for some meeting Drakon isn`t supposed to know about, it has been weeks since the last battle and for once, there aren`t any fires to put out. All letters are answered, his two other armies are fine and Drakon spent the entire day solving the most pressing issues back in Erithia with his council.

For once without anything pressing to do, Drakon has retreated to his tent. The entire table and large parts of the ground are covered in books and papers. Drakon is just finishing up the last paragraph of his thesis when the tent`s entrance opens. As a gust of wind blows in, some of the papers start rustling and he hastily sets up a ward.

“Sorry”, Miryam says and hastily pulls the entrance close behind her. Curiously, she looks around. “What happened here?”

“Oh, uhm…” Drakon surveys the chaos he created. His cheeks heat. “It`s nothing, really. Just something I`ve been working on.”

“Can I see it?”, Miryam asks. She carefully steps over the papers to the table.

“It`s not finished”, Drakon mutters.

And he doesn`t usually show around the things he writes. When he was younger and studying at university, he published a few papers, but no one but a few scholars ever cared about what he had to say, and he hasn`t done it since he became Prince. But Miryam is one of his closest friends these days. If he can show it to anyone, it would be her.

He sighs and hands over the sheets of paper he just finished. “It isn`t edited”, he says, “Just a few thoughts, really. You`ll find it boring.”

“I doubt it”, Miryam says and takes the paper, “You`ve never shown me your writing before.”

Her eyes dart over the pages. Drakon can barely watch as she reads, frowning slightly in concentration. He begins cleaning up his books, mostly just to have something to do with his hands. Finally, Miryam sets down the paper.

“Just a little something?”, she asks, “Drakon, this is amazing!”

Now, he blushes in earnest. “Well…”, he mutters.

“Why don`t you ever let anyone see?”

“I`ve learned my lesson about playing around in international politics, Miryam”, he says, “I`m not making the same mistake twice.”

Miryam, however, is not deterred. (She`s nothing if not determined.) “This isn`t politics, though.” She waves the paper at him. “And something like this could truly make a difference.”

“Wouldn`t it be better if this was written by a human?”

“Yes”, Miryam says, “And if we lived in an ideal world, Fae might actually care about the words of a human. As it stands, though, the word of a Fae – a Fae royal, no less – have far more weight.”

Drakon flares his wings in annoyance and puts the last book on a stack. “And you truly think anyone would listen? To me?”

He knows exactly what most of the Continent thinks of him. Miryam and Jurian may be too polite to tell him of the whispered insults, but his emissary is obliged to inform him of what`s going on in the Alliance.

“Not being able to play by their rules is only a weakness as long as you make it out to be one”, Miryam says, “You could own up to it, stop running. You have enough strengths by far – you shouldn`t let yourself be reduced to one thing you can`t do.”

Well, he can certainly imagine how she managed to create this Alliance from scratch. How she gets Fae who are centuries her senior to do her bidding. For a second, Drakon is almost tempted to give in. But then, the image of his family`s statues on the Mountain of the Dead flashes through his mind. He remembers the absolutely horrible feeling of standing in Ravenia`s palace, knowing fully well that he is messing up every single rule of Continental politics. He imagines what it would be like to join the Alliance council meetings – the whispers and pitying looks. The pretty words hiding sharp insults that he never manages to detect because he just can`t keep the thousands of rules straight.

“No”, he says softly. “I´m sorry, but I can`t.”

Miryam watches him closely. Whatever she sees in his face has her set down the papers. “Alright”, she says and nods towards the entrance. “I was going to visit Rhys to arrange Mor`s party. You want to come?”

Drakon tries not to feel like a coward for refusing. It`s for the best, he tells himself.

“Sure”, he says and offers his arm to Miryam. “Let`s go.”

----

Tags: @sjm-things

#miryam #jurian #drakon #mor #andromache #Before the Wall

[dalekofchaos]

Few simple changes that I think could've saved Solo A Star Wars Story as a movie

Just a few things I think could’ve improved Solo

Anthony Ingruber plays Han Solo.  He looks like Harrison Ford, he talks like Harrison Ford, and he even played a young Harrison Ford in the film Age of Adaline. Anthony Ingruber had even audition for the role of Han Solo and the fact he didn’t get it for a guy who had so much trouble, they needed to bring in an acting coach. Alden was so unconvincing as Han it was laughable. Anthony Ingruber was the perfect person to play Han and he should’ve been Han Solo. If Anthony played Han, it could’ve been as great as Donald’s take on Lando. 

Han Solo picks his own name. Han is a rebel without a cause. He doesn’t care where he came from, so a random Imperial Officer should not be given Solo his last name. This is Han’s story, he should tell the officer that he’s Han Solo. Han not calling himself Solo was a really bad sign.

No L3-37, Qi’Ra and no Maul. Qi’Ra derailed Han as a character(I’ll explain more later), L3 really served no purpose and her being inserted into the Falcon is both fridging and takes away from Han making the Kessel Run and Maul served no purpose to be in a movie about Han Solo when Han does not believe in the Jedi or the force

Replace Qi'Ra with Sana Starros. Danai Gurira plays Sana

Focus more on Han Solo as a character. The problem I had with the movie is it focuses on everyone but Han and was just showing how he gets his things

Keep in the Imperial Cadet deleted scene in. It shows Han is a good pilot, that Han wanted to do the right thing while his time in service, but the Empire cares more about equipment than lives. In a sense, Han begins as optimistic and happy before and during his time with the Imperials, and then when we meet him after he's been an Imperial for a while, he's thoroughly beaten down by it and that's what turned him into the cynical bastard we saw at the start of New Hope.

Change the Battle of Mimban to Battle Of Kashyyyk. Reason? This is where Han would save Chewie. I always loved the Legends take where Han's superiors wanted Chewie dead, but instead Han saves Chewie. So here, we would soon realize that the Empire is here to beat down a Wookie Rebellion. Han is tasked by his superior officer to kill the captured Chewnacca. Han chooses to save Chewie and stuns his superior officer. Han and Chewie flee the planet and that's when Beckett's crew picks up Han and Chewie

Han is mentored by Beckett and it makes him the callous and cold smuggler we know him to be in A New Hope. Their relationship is similar to Fast Eddie and Vincent in Color Of Money

With no Qi’Ra, Beckett’s connection to Vos would introduce us to Lando

Focus more on Han and Lando’s friendship. Show us why Han and Lando have a strong friendship, show don’t tell. Have Han and Lando being smugglers in arms. And finally Lando would not leave he would patch himself up and return to help Han in the end. We really needed to see why Han sees so much reverence in his friendship to Lando in ESB. What we got from Solo makes Lando’s betrayal unsurprising. We needed to see why Lando was willing to sacrifice an old friendship to save Bespin from the Imperials, the emotional weight of Han and Lando’s friendship wasn’t there in the movie, it needed to be there so their friendship should’ve been one of the core elements of the movie.

Make Dryden Vos more of a legit threatening villain. Paul Bettany used to play really fucking evil gangster characters and that’s what I was hoping Dryden was going to be playing, but he was barely there. Make him cruel, and a clear danger. Prior to the meeting, show him execute an underling for insubordination and have him say “sorry for the mess”  and show us that Beckett is in a horrible debt that he can’t seem to get out of, a mirror of Han and Jabba’s relationship in the future

The heist would be to steal Coaxium from a complex security vault on Kessel

Han and Sana would get “married” as a pretense for the big heist, while Lando and Chewie make the big score. 

Han would make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs on his own. Han needed to make the Kessel Run on his own. Having a droid being part of why he made the Kessel Run takes away the great feat that Han made and brags about in ANH. It shows he’s a great pilot and has what it takes. That’s kinda what we needed to see.

Beckett sells everyone out to Vos as per canon

When Vos has Han at his mercy, Lando comes to make the save and they kill Vos together

Han shoots Beckett first. But not because it was right or because of the money. Because Han saw it coming. Han learned everything from Beckett. Beckett would say “I would’ve done the same thing, kid.” and Han would say “I had a great teacher.” There needed a slight moral conundrum. Han respects Beckett and has learned a lot from him, but also knows that he absolutely can not be trusted and will inevitably kill Han without a care in the world if it means Beckett gets a better deal.

Han would only give Enfys Nest the Coaxium in exchange for a reward. So Enfys would give Han, Lando, Sana and Chewie enough stolen money the Marauders acquired throughout the years to be the perfect reward. Enfys asks Han to join the Rebellion, but Han makes it clear he’s in it for the money

The movie would end with Han and Lando playing Sabacc for the Falcon, maybe tweak it a little so it’s both a dice and card game, so that way Han uses the Dice we would see in TLJ to win the Falcon. This way it makes way more sense as to why Leia and Ben would feel emotional over the dice. It’s the lucky Dice that won the Falcon, it brought Han and Leia together and it’s something worth Ben feeling emotional about instead of Han’s jilted ex lover’s dice 

Han should end the film leaving him as a guy who is mostly only going to get involved in capers due to the money. So that we can still make sense of the scene in ANH in which he takes the money and leaves (on Yavin) but only afterwards has a strike of conscience and returns to help Luke.

Solo wasn’t really a bad movie, I think it is a fun movie with great potential. The problem is they focused more on the future and not in the now, a movie about Han Solo does not focus on Han Solo and it’s not necessary at all and the story is very forgettable, and it really is just a cash grab. There is nothing remarkable about the movie and the only two characters who stand out as 100% only enjoyable to me are Enfys Nest and Lando. The rest of the characters just feel like unnecessary adds or barley passable imitations. So these are ways I would change Solo to make it a great movie

They made the movie about everything BUT Han Solo and their attempts to make Han a good man just betrays the character we knew in A New Hope. The reason why I chose to cut out Qi'Ra is because Han Solo having a love interest in my opinion was a pretty poor choice. Han Solo was always implied to be a loner before Leia came into his life. His name is SOLO. Han is a criminal smuggler, if anything he would've been sleeping around like Captain Kirk, especially Han in his 20's. Hell, in a deleted scene for ANH, Han basically has a small fling in the Cantina. As a matter of fact, showing that he was this intimate with someone before Leia takes a little bit of the mystique away from their relationship in later movies. I also felt like Han and Leia worked because they were the only ones who would get under each other's skins, but with here, Han and Qi'ra are just kind of in a relationship at the beginning and it's like "oh we don't even know these people" seeing him so deeply affected over another woman makes Han Solo comes across as a little bit more vulnerable than the Han we met in A New Hope.

Also why even have Qi'Ra when it's established that Han already had a wife in canon? Kathleen Kennedy sure does love her white Brunnettes doesn't she?

As for Maul. Does it need saying? Maul died in Rebels and bringing him back was pointless since mainstream audiences do not know that he survived. Also Han does not believe in the force and believes a blaster is superior to a Lightsaber

This whole movie shows a far more human Han, he's shown to be somewhat empathetic and sympathetic of others. He gives too much of a damn, there's a time or two in Solo where Han chooses to do what's right as opposed to what's right for him, he does jobs without looking for a real reward and that's just not Han Solo. In this movie it's clear that Han has a moral compass, whereas in the original trilogy, he was a lot more morally ambiguous and it was through Luke and Leia's influence and place in life that he began to become good. In A New Hope he had to constantly be reassured that he was going to be preciously rewarded. This completely destroys Han's arc in the original trilogy as this movie implies that Han was always a good guy.

#Star Wars #Han Solo #Solo A Star Wars Story #Lando Calrissian #Solorissian #Sana Starros #Chewbacca #Tobias Beckett #Drydon Vos