#and this I may be projecting cause I want people to tell me that sometimes when I’m like this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skylarsblue · 1 year

Note

this isn’t really a request or anythin’, just a thought. 141 havin to deal with a southern team member who only gets progressively more accented the more they get mad.

100% projecting here

pretty unaccented, American, whatever —> ✨ anger ✨ —> Memphis called they want their “oo-ol” back (translation: oil).

i have no idea if they’d be annoyed, charmed, or just confused.

✦141 + Los Vaqueros With A Southern!Teammate✦

(My first C.o.D request and it's for pEOPLE LIKE MEEEE, southern traassh! This my shit. Fair warning, I've never played one of these games cause I don't have a console, so if they're ooc, please tell me how I can improve writing them!)

✦Random headcanons, Southern slang, GN!Reader, Race neutral as well but American, implied to be Oklahoma/Texas style southern, aggressive cursing because I have the mouth of a sailor, a bit of Google Translated Spanish(forgive me), Rudy doesn't have a color cause I ran out I'm so sorry precious boy✦

✧Simon Riley✧

He's not real fond of Americans, admittedly. He's got a little voice in the back of his head that automatically associates Americans with betrayal, but he'll keep quiet.

He cringes at your accent at first. He's not fond of Americans, even less so of most American accents. It's a very thick drawl and after being in the team for a while, he'll tease you about it, telling you to "Speak English" like he does with Soap.

He shuts up when you bring up his Manchester accent being illegible sometimes. It's all in good fun though!

After proving you're trustworthy, he'll basically call you his "special American", to show you're an exception. He will never stop poking fun at you though, just as you do to him. Particularly when you say something intensely American.

"Look at her ass, out here pitchin' a bitch fit with a tail on it." "...What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

He'll give you one thing, you treat beef well, which he appreciates. Given he used to be a butcher's apprentice. Americans from the southern states know how to make a hamburger and we know how to cook a steak, that's like...the one thing we can brag about.

If you're like me and you dunk on your own country, he thinks those moments are really funny. Especially when you sound so American.

He probably enjoys you being angry the most. He loves it so much, he thinks it's extremely entertaining. Especially if you're a more small, non-intimidating person on the surface.

"Fuck off! Out here makin' a damn mess of the place, runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off, wrecking my shit! I outta whoop yer ass!" "Should we step in?" "No no, let it go on a little longer..."

Probably tries to make your call sign something heavily American stereotypical, in a funny way. (ie. Bald Eagle, Stars(JILL!), Shotgun, etc.)

A bit hypocritical but if you have a farm with cows on it, he doesn't really wanna see them. His first thought his how to butcher them from years of training, and if they're not butcher cows, he feels kinda bad for thinking it.

Congrats! You're the only American Simon likes, aside from maybe Alex but I don't know for sure.

✧Johnny MacTavish✧

Laughs when you first speak. He apologizes but like, he laughs at you, I'm sorry.

Definitely asks if you have a cowboy hat, and he will lose his fucking mind if you do. The more cowboy shit you own the more he's entertained, especially if you wear them around base/on field.

He understands you super well but no one understands how or why. Johnny explains that it's just because he's good with accents. He'll hear weird euphemisms and, though it may take a second, 9 times out of 10 he'll get it.

"Fucker's so cheap I bet he pinches quarters til they scream." "What?! What does that mean!?" "Means he's a penny pincher! He's cheap. C'mon, that one was obvious, keep up, yeah?"

If you're a woman/female leaning, he'll call you cowgirl. If you're male/male leaning, you get the nickname cowboy. Non-binary/Genderfluid/Etc.? He calls you partner, and he'll always say it with a shitty imitation of your accent.

Asks you a buncha questions about American-Southern stereotypes to see if they're true. If they are, he gets really giggly about it.

If they ever have a mission in America, he'll insist you lead them everywhere. He likes seeing how you interact with people, especially if you're in a big city where some nutsos are. This man would have a blast watching you in a Waffle House. It's the only time he likes seeing you yell in public, thinks it's hilarious.

If you have any farm experience he's gotta see it. He needs to. I don't care if the farm is your great grandpa's and you haven't been there in a decade, you better take him to see the cows and tractors right now, immediately. Especially if there are chickens. He loves chickens.

He makes fun of your accent but he thinks it's really hot sometimes and he's very annoyed at himself for it. Particularly when you speak softly, trying to console/comfort him, slipping in a typical southern pet name.

"You alright there, sugar? Took quite a hit there. You need anythin', sweetheart?" "...I uh, uhm, ahem. N-no, no I'm alright." "Are ya sure, sweetpea? Your face is goin' redder than a tomato."" NO, I'M GOOD."

Manages to get the entire team to call you a southern callsign, whether you like it or not. He'll force it to stick. Most are animal-based too. (Cowboy/Cowgirl, Chick/Rooster, Bull/Heffer, Big Tex, etc.)

Your accent grows on him significantly. While he thinks you're very sexy when you're angry, he's really affected when you're soft and sweet. (bonus note; if you're faux sweet when you're mad? The whole "Oh...bless your heart" type thing? He's prolly gonna pop a boner, not gonna lie.)

✧John Price✧

He's not American but there are a lot of American things he likes, admittedly. Specifically, old western stuff, horses, ranches, etc. That whole aesthetic is something he's always enjoyed. He won't say it, but he has a particular fondness for your accent when he first hears it.

Doesn't understand you when your accent gets super thick but he thinks it's entertaining nevertheless. Unlike Ghost or Soap, he doesn't comment on it, because he doesn't think he has room to talk. Maybe he'd do it once and then you'd throw it back at him and he'd realize that...yeah he has no room to talk.

He's a calm individual but he will yell when necessary. But, what he finds admirable is when you jump in and yell for him. Like you can read his mind and he can save his throat, watching the people who were pissing him off jump back at thick southern curses being yelled at them.

"I outta jerk a damn knot in your fuckin' tail, ya fuckin' dumbass! Didn't ya momma ever teach you respect?! You ain't ever gonna talk to my damn captain like that again or I'll skin yer fuckin' hide!" "Ahem, thank you, sergeant, that's enough."

Buys you a cowboy hat if you don't already have one, for sure. Whether you take it as a genuine gift or you take it as a light jab at your roots, he'll get a lil' dopey smile if you decide to wear it. Gaz definitely makes fun of you two. Soap points out that Gaz also wears a hat religiously and he & Ghost start callin' you the hat trio.

Man melts at southern-drawl-spoken pet names. He truly does. Much like Soap, there's something about it that makes the tension leaves his body, though he's not really sure why.

"You alright there, Cap? You're lookin' bout ready to drop..." "I'm alright soldier, just need to finish this." "Captain, it'll be there in the mornin'. How bout a nap instead, huh? You can't go workin' yourself to the bone, hun. It ain't healthy."" ...oh alright, just for a bit though." "Sure, sugarcube, just long enough to have some tea."

He'll probably pick up on a few pet names and call you them. Whether you wanna take it as platonic or not, it's really just a sweet gesture that he wants to return. Pet names are kinda just...a staple of southern slang. It's part of the accent that he really enjoys, therefore he wants to return it.

If he ends up helping you with a call sign, it's going to be a really sweet & nice one. Or perhaps something that's from an old western he's seen. Probably based on something you've said before. (Sugarcube, Lasso, Hun/Hunny.) Bonus points if you get a super sweet name that doesn't match your stature, he thinks it's funny if it throws people off.

Piggybacking off the last one, I think it'd be real funny if your call name was "Sugarcube" and you're like...a 6'0"+ buff dude with a deep voice. That shit would be funny. Anyway!

If you own/live on a ranch or farm in your off time, he'll feel honored if you invite him to see it. Don't worry, he won't laze around and just appreciate the cute animals. (Looking at you Soap) He's got a little bit of experience with cows & horses, so he'll do his best to help you move the hay and such. Don't let him drive a tractor though, it's one of the few things he just can't do.

John doesn't play favorites, he's fair and precise to his entire team. But...off the field? ...you might get a little favoritism, he's got a weakness for bein' sweettalked through southern drawl. Don't let that go to your head though!

✧Kyle Garrick✧

Kyle doesn't care too much, he thinks every country has shitty stuff and cool stuff. He's a pretty big believer in silver linings. While America is far from his favorite country, and he knows the common trope of uh...less than tolerant people from the south, that doesn't affect how he sees you at all.

He does snicker at your accent sometimes, but only when you say something really aggressively southern. Especially making up random southern phrases that he doesn't understand at all. He finds it endearing.

"We just gotta haul ass and go tear shit up, run through like a buncha Tasmanian devils, right?" "...I understood...some of those words. Uh, sure, right." "We need to move our asses and fuck shit up." "Ah, okay. Could've just said that, but alright."

Thinks you're kinda scary when you're mad. He'll be the type to try and calm you down, but he understands if it's someone who deserves it. Not that he doesn't find your drawl fun to listen too, especially if someone was being an ass, but he doesn't like seeing you upset.

If the person you're yelling at was being a real big ass, he'll let you yell for a little, but step in. However, if you're doing condescending rage? Oh, go for it, do it all you want. He thinks it's hilarious.

Finds it particularly sweet if you're angry on the teams/his behalf. He can fight his own battles but he thinks it's a big sign of trust, friendship, etc. that you feel the need to defend him.

"Bless your heart, your brain ain't firing off on all cylinders is it, hun? Tsk, that's a shame..." "Excuse me?!" "You're excused, sweetpea. You're not gonna talk to my team that way, but you can turn your happy ass around and walk away. I ain't gonna have you disrespectin' the people who've been fightin' the good fight. Have a lovely day!" "How can you sound so sweet and yet so angry at the same time?" "Southern livin', sugar. Southern livin'."

Gaz is a bit of a foodie type, he likes trying cooking from any area he can go to. Southern cooking would...it'd be a new weakness for sure. A lot of it is unhealthy, yes, but he doesn't give a shit. It tastes good. Sometimes he thinks American food is an absolute sin and a disgrace, and he'll state it as such. Usually, it's stuff you agree on. Like bacon-covered donuts or fried butter. That shit's egregious. But things like southern-style chicken or rib-eye on a grill? You're gonna make him swoon with them roasted vegetables. Cooking for him is a surefire way to make you an unapologetic favorite in his book.

He won't say anything at the little jokes that people jab at you for your accent, but he will tell someone off if they say something that's clearly not funny and upsets you. Like trying to imply you're stupid because you come from Texas. (Speaking from personal experience) He thinks it's such a dumb thing to give someone shit over and he won't hesitate to say they're an idiot for trying to use it against you.

Hates sweet tea, I'm sorry. It's just tea but he can't stand it. He'll drink the unsweetened tea you make, but he'll make a dramatic face if he mixes them up. Something that you always laugh at.

He's great at driving basically any vehicle. Helicopters to mini coopers. He's never controlled a tractor before, but if you sit him in one and tell him the levers, it'll take him like...three minutes to get it down perfectly. Definitely gets a smug ass grin if you show you're amazed.

If he helps get you your call sign, he won't necessarily make it based on where you're from, it'll probably be based on a nickname, skill, or crucial event in your career. (Crash; you were thrown through a window, Hotshot; skill for sniping, etc.) But if he were to have one based on your southern ways? Sweet Tea, both for the fact you make it and the pet name you sometimes call him. (sweet pea)

✧Alejandro Vargas✧

Like Ghost, he's not super fond of Americans. His experience with most Americans are annoying tourists and Graves, leaves a pretty bad impression. He comes across unintentionally snappy when he first meets you, but Rudy will point it out, and he'll correct himself.

You aren't the annoying people he's dealt with and he knows it's not fair to say you are. Definitely talks shit on America though, and he'll honestly give you respect if you do the same. Since he's used to the kind of Americans that think being American give them a right to treat others like shit. He hates entitlement.

If you speak Spanish, he's gonna try really hard to not laugh at how your accent affects some words, but it's really hard. He means it in kind and if you're still learning when you meet him, he's proud when he hears you doing well in comprehension and sentences. Still, sounds just a lil silly.

He loves when your accent gets thick from rage, but he his favorite thing is if you speak Spanish in a rage, with your accent on top of it. It's a combination that fills his brain with serotonin.

"Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" "Wha- Haha! What does that mean?!" "Did they say some super weird analogy?" "Si! They did!" "Yeaaah, they do that a lot."

He's notorious for having a naturally flirty personality, it's just how he's always been. Hence why not much phases him, but he does get a quite wide & genuine grin if you flirt back, making your accent extra intense. Especially with the pet names, another man who likes sweet words.

Thinks you having a southern call sign is really cute, especially if it's something your team calls you exclusively. He thinks it shows your endearment to your team. However, if your call sign is something you insist is only for friends, he'll get super giddy about being allowed to call you it.

If he were to pick? (Belle; Like southern belle whether you're fem! or not, Rodeo, and he might call you Americano- but like, in the coffee way. Like it's a sweet nickname, not just him saying your nationality)

Southern hospitality is something he is not used to. Again, bad experience with Americans. So if you explain all the various manners and nice gestures that are considered expected in your home state? He's completely confused, wondering why the Americans he's met don't keep that attitude up when they leave home.

Again, really likes it if you use southern pet names. Especially if you're trying to console him after a really tough day/mission. For some reason it really helps, like a cup of warm coffee on a cold morning.

"Aye, don't stress yourself over it, darlin'. Bad things happen that we can't control, you did everything you could and you were great at it. Don't let it eat at'cha, honey-bun." "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" "Anytime, big guy. Now, you wanna see me try and fail again to open a de la Rosa without breaking it?" "Aha! How about I show you a trick to do it instead?"

Again, like Ghost, you're his special American. Gaz calls you his emotional-support American once and he thinks it's really funny, he'll call you as such every now and then.

✧Rodolfo Parra✧

Sweet darling man. He has nothing against you being American, nothing. But...he cannot understand anything you're saying. He's doing his best but he really doesn't know. He can feel his brain frying every time you bring up something super southern, trying to understand.

He'll have to lean over to your team to ask for a translation, anyone but Soap & Price will tack on an "I think, I'm not sure" at the end of their explanation. If he hears you use a phrase more than once, he'll add it to a little list of notes with the translation underneath it. Treats it like a whole different language. It's adorable.

Like Alejandro, he thinks it's funny if you speak Spanish with your accent. He'll keep a straight face because he knows you can't help it, but man is it fun to hear.

He's not very fond of a lot of yelling if he can avoid it, Rudy prefers disputes to be handled with calm words if possible. But he understands that sometimes it's necessary. Still, he'd want to try and calm you down if you're yelling. But, if you're just acting sickeningly-sweet, kind words that are clearly dripping with venom? He'll just watch. He thinks that shows you handle yourself very well and it's pretty attractive to him, not gonna lie.

"Awww I'm so sorry you're upset, poor thing. God bless you, sir, you have a lovely day. I hope that stick up your ass doesn't hurt too bad." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" "Shh, sugar, it's fine. He wants to be rude, I can be rude back. An eye for an eye. Don't worry your pretty lil' head bout it, sweetheart." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas."

He's really hesitant about American food. It smells great sometimes but all he hears about American food is that it's greasy, or too salty, etc. Still, he won't deny any meal you make. He thinks it's rude to deny food unless it's something you're allergic to.

He ends up liking a few things, but he is biased to his home cooking. But if you start making his favorite foods, or somehow combine the styles in an honoring way? Oh, those are his favorites. He's particularly fond of American sweets though!

Please bake for this man, bake for him, I beg. Apple pie is an American staple for a reason and he'll jokingly claim he'll move to America if it means he can have apple pie every day.

"Rudy, that's your fourth piece! Ahaha, if I knew you liked it so much I woulda made ya more." "Ay, please do! ¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" "Alright then, hun, I'll be sure to make you all the apple pie ya want."

Rudy really likes if you wear stuff like a cowboy hat. He's not really sure why, he just thinks it's really cute. If it's a staple of your whole look(like John's hat), seeing you protective over it, he thinks that's really cute. If you're protective of your cowboy hat but let him hold it/put it on his head to hold it, it's gonna fluster him. Even if your guy's relationship is completely platonic.

If you live near the border of Texas & Mexico, it makes visiting you pretty easy, so he'll have no qualms about going back and forth when off duty. He'll be more comfortable in his home but he won't turn down the offer to see your home, especially if it's a ranch. He's got a soft spot for farm animals. (Particularly goats)

If he has any control of how you choose your call sign, he'll likely pick something the same way Gaz does. But, if you have a thing about what certain people call you - like how only Ghost can call Soap "Johnny" - He feels really warm and fuzzy if he gets a special privilege.

(Translations; "Eres un maldito idiota. ¡Tan útil como las tetas de un toro!" - "You're a fucking idiot - as useful as a bull's tits/about as useful as tits on a bull!" "Gracias, Bella. Lo necesitaba…" - "Thank you, bella/beauty. I needed it." "¡Soldado! No digas eso…" - "Soldier! You can't say that..." "Dios, a veces me asombras y me aterrorizas." - "God, sometimes you amaze and terrify me." "¡Fue enviado desde el cielo!" - "It was sent from heaven!")

#call of duty mwii #call of duty x reader #call of duty #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap mactavish x reader #captain john price #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick #gaz x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas #rodolfo rudy parra #rodolfo x reader

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daughterofthequeen · 4 months

Text

A New Diagnosis

Pairing: Joel Miller x autistic daughter!reader

Summary: I have an idea. Joel Miller x daughter!reader, based in the camps they had everyone in after the outbreak(so a couple days after Sarah’s death technically) and the reader is a high functioning autistic who stims. So when they get to the camp and because of all the stress she has been under, it’s causing her stimming to flare up like crazy. So Joel and Tommy had to beg and plead to the soldiers, trying to let them know she is autistic and she wasn’t infected, that she just can’t control her stims.

Warnings: Angst, crying, cussing, stimming(not really a warning but its in the story), overstimulated meltdown, denial, most likely inaccurate chain of command about construction work or construction jobs in general, might be a little ooc Joel in one scene I’m not completely sure but it feels like it and I hate it😠😤.

A/N: the reader symptoms and preferences are based on my own, which is also where this idea came from. Ever since the show came out I just wondered what did they do to the people with ticks and stims at the beginning of the outbreak. I mean they eventually had to come up with a way to tell a difference in the beginning of the outbreak before they had the infection detector things, right?

I honestly might rewrite this because I don’t know if I like how this turned out. Usually I’m pretty good at picturing what characters would say in a certain situation, but there’s one part of the fic that I’m not so sure about( you’ll know it when you read it I’m sure). But it’s crazy because I’ve been living like this since the ages of 4 or 5 and it still extremely difficult to describe stimming, even harder writing about it. But I wish I had a Joel Miller parent so I guess I’m projecting a bit in this fic. And this may also be longest fic yet.

So I decided to make this into two parts because I want this posted today because it was supposed to be out yesterday and I don’t want to wait any longer.

Mockingbird (Part 2)

Taglist: @miss-celestial-being @ilovemydinoboi @taraiel @distorted-twink @geralallfandoms @your-shifting-gurl @daemontargaryenwhore @mihstar

What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.

I was only 4.

As a kid you’re oblivious to almost everything, but sometimes a child’s behavior can reflect the type of day the family will have whether they realize it or not. And my attitude had been off all that week, until my father’s birthday aka outbreak day. I called it the calm before the storm. That week I was in an overall bad mood. All of my senses had been on high, being overstimulated plus the struggle of always being alone in school. I mean don’t get me wrong I use to talk to some of my classmates, but most likely than not I would’ve been playing by myself either from trying to avoid the bullies or because nobody wanted to play with me in general. But hey, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. I never really understood people, I still don’t but I had my family and they always made everything okay. They never made me feel different about myself. Regardless of me being only four, I understood that the repetitive behaviors were definitely not normal. Along with the what I now know as stimming; physical, vocal, scripting, ticking, etc. I could go on and on about everything that makes me different, but my family had always helped me feel normal. To be honest I didn’t start realizing I was doing all that stuff until one day my dad sat me down and asked me ‘what are you doing’ and ‘are you okay?’, which made me more self-aware. And then there was school, the weird looks and the mean jokes came into play. I’ve rarely caught my family staring, but I knew they were. Growing up and remembering the past helps you realize things you might’ve missed or didn’t understand as a kid. Like the concerned/confused stares I would catch my dad or uncle Tommy giving me before I was diagnosed. I just didn’t know what the looks were for. But the day my father finally decided something was indeed wrong, that it wasn’t just a phase, had him making an appointment to my clinic fast. It was the first time my stimming caused me serious pain. Well, from what I can remember anyway.

July 23, 2002 - Austin,Texas (Y/n is 3 years old)

The day started out like any other. I woke up in my sister’s bed, once I got my bearings I got out of the bed and headed down stairs to see my dad and my sister having one of their many daily debates

“I’m just saying your generations music has nothing on ours- (Y/N)!” After hearing Sarah saying your name, Joel turned around seeing you standing in the kitchen doorway rubbing your eye.

“Hey babygirl. Did you have a good sleep?” He asked as he turned off the stove top and went to pick you up.

“Mhm. I’m hungry, daddy.”

“That’s good because I just cooked your favorite breakfast.” He said as he kissed your cheek and sat you down in the chair across from Sarah, who got the two of you orange juice. Joel then went to grab the plates. There were eggs, sausage, french toast, and he sat a bowl of grapes next to you knowing how much you love them. You all started eating your breakfast. You went straight for the grapes and started eating them, until you spotted something that looked weird to you. Frowning, you push the bowl away and went to the food on your plate.

“Something wrong with your grapes?” Joel asked you noticing the way you frowned up.

“They dirty daddy.” Causing Joel to frown in confusion.

“Dirty? I just washed ‘em.” Joel leaned forward and grabbed the bowl and didn’t see anything abnormal about the grapes. The water in the bowl didn’t even black specs in it that grapes leave behind. “They look fine to me.”

“No. They dirty daddy, look.” Standing in your chair, you leaned over and pointed to a grape with a light brown streak on it and another where it was brown from where the stem was.

“Oh, that doesn’t mean they’re dirty, baby. Grapes just to look like that sometimes or because they’ve gotten older. That’s all.”

“Ew.” You mumbled.

“They’re gonna taste the same.” Joel said as he sat the bowl back down next to you.

“I don’t want them anymore.” You say pushing the grapes away.

“They’re fine, (n/n). I actually think the small brown areas actually make them sweater.” Sarah says trying to reassure her baby sister.

“No.” That was your final statement before you went back to eating the food on your plate.

“Ok, you don’t have to eat ‘em.” Joel states as him and Sarah go back to eating their own food.

———

“(Y/n)!!! Come back here!”

“No!”

“We go through this every time you use the bathroom!”

Sarah was currently chasing you around the house. A daily thing really, but for the last few months you have determined on not washing your hands after using the bathroom. And not with just Sarah. With Joel and Tommy too. Joel usually would have to keep a firm grip on you that disabled you from moving away from the sink, and to keep you from running or flailing your arms around as an attempt to keep him from making you wash your hands.

The first time that happened you guys were at a restaurant. He would be surprised if that whole side of the restaurant didn’t hear you,

“Daddy, I have to use the bathroom.”

“Ok.” Usually he would have Sarah take you but her and Tommy’s food had made it to the table. And since he was still waiting on his, there was no sense in stopping her from eating. He took you out of the high chair, and you two headed to the restroom. After the long process of putting toilet paper on the seat, he sat you on the seat and let you do your business. Once you were finished cleaning yourself up and him flushing the toilet, he waited for you to go towards the sink. But you headed towards the door instead.

“Don’t forget to wash your hands.” Joel said from his spot on the wall he was leaning on with his arms crossed.

Turning towards the sink, you clasped your hands to your chest, letting out a low groan of disgust.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to touch it.”

“What the sink?” You nodded.

“You have to wash your hands, babygirl. Come on.”

“No.” You whined, and Joel knew then the two of you were going to have a problem.

“Babygirl, please.” He said in a pleading tone and tired tone.

“No!” Joel sighed then picked you up and held you over the sink as he usually would when washing your hands, but this time due to your decision of fighting and squirming in his arms, he had to get a gentle but firm grip on your hands to wash them himself.

“(Y/n).” That caused you to stop in your tracks. The sound was unfamiliar until your mind put together it was your father’s voice. He never says your actual name unless you were in trouble, and even then it would depend. But him calling your name was enough time for Sarah to scoop you up and head to the nearest sink which was the kitchen.

Sarah sat you down after she finished washing your hands. After getting free you pouted and went into the living room to continue playing with your toys before your bladder interrupted you. So invested in what you were doing, you didn’t even hear your Uncle Tommy come in the house.

“What’s for dinner today?” He teased, rubbing the top of yours and Sarah’s head as he passed by each of you.

“I don’t know you’ll have to ask this guy. He was supposed to go to the store but surprise, he didn’t.” Sarah says with a sarcastic smile towards her father who was going through bills. Joel head turned towards Sarah giving a bored look.

“We’re ordering pizza.”

“Fine with me.” Tommy states triggering Joel to role his eyes.

“Of course it is.”

Sarah went upstairs for the book the two of you were reading. To ‘keep her ahead of her future classmates’. While Sarah was upstairs, Tommy eyes trailed over to you, he smiled as he watched you in your own little world playing with your toys while talking to yourself. He watched you for a minute until he saw you stretching your neck. Normally he would’ve thought nothing of it until he realized it was happening constantly. At first they were only seconds apart, then you would stop for a few minutes and start again. There wasn’t an exact pattern, but he caught the rhythm of it.

“Buns neck been bothering her?”

“No.” Joel answered absentmindedly, still invested in the papers he wished he could use as a coaster without consequence.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Joel asked, getting annoyed by the fact he kept getting interrupted with his task.

“ ‘Cause she keeps stretchin’ it like it’s bothering her.”

Joel looks up at Tommy who had a slight worried look on his face. Joel then turns around in his chair to see what his brother was talking about. And true to his little brother’s words there you were stretching your neck and shoulder in a way that looks painful if he’s being honest. Joel turned back around to his brother with an equally concerned look. He leans closer towards him and lowers his voice before he started talking signaling Tommy to do the same.

“I don’t know why she does that, and every time I ask her if she’s ok she tells me she’s fine.”

“Maybe she has a crook in her neck.”

“No, if it was a crook we would know. She would be a lot worse. She tends to panic when she has one of those, and doesn’t do a lot of moving around. To stop the ‘bouncy feeling’. This. This is something else. And it’s been getting more frequent lately.”

“Frequent?”

“Yeah, this started a few months ago. It’ll leave and come back after a few weeks, but like I said it’s been happening a lot more often lately. She does it with her hands and wrist too.”

“Hm.”

Joel turned back towards his youngest. “Babygirl, you okay?” He said in a tone reserved for only you and Sarah when she’s upset about something.

You look up from your toys, bright innocent eyes finding your father’s concerned ones.

“Yeah.”

“You sure? Your neck not bothering you?”

“No.” You replied while standing up from your place on the floor and walked over to your father. When you got close enough he automatically picked you up and sat you on his thigh.

“Then why do you keep rollin’ it around honey?”

“I’m not.” Joel frowned in confusion. He’s clearly watching you do it so, either you’re lying for some unknown reason or you just don’t know that you’re doing it. But he’s always able to tell just by asking one question.

“Are you telling me the truth?” Simple, but it works. It was a question he would ask you every time he would think you were lying. And every time you answer you have a tell. When you tell the truth you tend to answer pretty confidently, but when you lie, you always fiddle with something whether it be your clothes, your fingers, or just bouncing your foot.

“Yes.” There’s no fidgeting. Covering up how even more confused he was in the moment he just nodded in understanding even though he didn’t.

“Ok baby, you want to go back to playin’ with your toys?”

“Yeah.” You replied getting down from your father’s lap before he even had the chance to put you down. Then you ran off to start back playing until Sarah came back down the stairs.

“(N/n), story time.” Hearing that you stood up and headed over to the couch with your sister. Before you sat down you picked up your stuffed bunny, Tommy got it for you when you were two. They used to use it to stop you from crying, but now you take it wherever you go. You laid down across the couch with Sarah and had your bunny in front of you in the same position you were to Sarah. She opened the book to where you two left off and started reading stopping at every few paragraphs to let you read.

Joel watched the two of you, his world. He would never understand how a mother would want to give this up.

“Have you thought about getting her checked out?” Tommy’s voice broke Joel from his thoughts.

“Checked for what?” Joel asked frowning at his brother.

“Joel, are you serious? Something could be wrong.”

“She’s fine, Tommy. She’ll grow out of it.”

“Grow out of it? Don’t you want to make sure?”

“Tommy, please.” Now Joel was lying. To himself especially. But that is understandable, what parent wants to accept that something may be wrong with their child. It was a scary thing to think about.

“What if it’s somethin’ wrong? Wouldn’t you want to get Bun’ the help she needs as soon as possible.”

“She doesn’t need help Tommy. I’m telling you she’ll grow out of it.”

“Joel-”

“Just let it go.” Joel whispered in a hardened tone, trying to keep his voice down so the girls wouldn’t hear that anything was wrong. “Look, would you order the pizza for tonight. I’m trying to finish up these bills.” Tommy mumbled a ‘sure’ and got up to make the call. He understood why Joel didn’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, what parent does? But knowing his stubborn nature he won’t act on it unless something happens that causes him to. After hearing the voice of the pizza lady on the line, Tommy uses it as a distraction to get his mind off his niece and his stubborn mule of a brother.

January 16, 2003 - 6:30am

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Sarah sat up with a soft groan and stretches, when she heard whining. She turned toward her sister who was hiding under the covers.

“Time to get up (n/n).” Sarah was about to stand up until she heard you cry out. She pulled back the covers to see you in a fertile position, hands covering your ears, eyes squeezed shut. “Come on (n/n), we- what’s wrong?” Sarah asked starting to panic seeing a tear fall from your eye.

“Too loud!” Sarah was confused for a second before she remembered the alarm was still going off. She quickly reached over to turn it off, and brought you into her arms. She laid you on her chest, rocking you back and forth while rubbing the top of your head, and she softly shushed you until you calmed down. When Sarah heard your cries turn into sniffles and looked down at you.

“You okay?” She asked softly rubbing the top of your head. She was confused as to why you reacted this way but, whatever the reason, it had her extremely worried. After seeing you nod your head she was able to relax, but she knew she still needed to tell dad about what just happened. Sarah got you up so, the both of you could start your morning routine. Everything went semi-smoothly, but that’s to be expected after your reaction to the alarm clock she’s not all that shocked about your agitated behavior. Sarah had just finished fixing your shirt when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, you girls almost ready?”

“Yep, we were just about to head down for breakfast.” Sarah stood from her kneeling position in front of you, letting you know that she was finished. And after going to tuck your bunny in bed you walked over to Joel.

“Unfortunately, you two are going to have to eat breakfast at school.” He said as he picked you up.

“Ew, why?” Sarah asked.

“Well your Uncle Tommy called and said there’s been an emergency at the house we’re working on so, when he pulls up we gotta go.” He grabbed your book bag and started down the stairs since you had decided to fall back asleep, not that he blamed you if he could he would have too. A minute later Tommy pulls up and surprisingly the Adlers weren’t outside, then again they were leaving a little earlier than usual. But, either way they didn’t have time to stop and talk. Sarah was dropped off first, then you. And it wasn’t until Sarah sat down in her first period class when she realized she forgot to tell her dad what happened this morning.

———

Time Skip

Normally, when school gets out you would ride home with Denise, due to her daughter going to the same school and Sarah’s school getting out 10 minutes after your school does. Then add another 20-30 minutes of her having to take the school bus then the city bus to get home. When Sarah makes it to the neighborhood she has to pass by Denise house to get to yours which is when she picks you up, but today didn’t work out that way. It started when Joel got a phone call from your school.

Joel and Tommy were currently managing the workers that were doing the framework of the building they were working on. Well Tommy was, Joel was trying to keep calm while talking to the construction manger.

“Look all I’m saying is we should be getting paid more since we’re working more hours than what we were told we would be working, don’t you think.” The construction manger has been going back and forth with Joel for about 10 minutes now, way too long for Joel’s liking.

“No, I don’t. Especially since the reason we’re in this situation is because you guys didn’t do your jobs right in the first place. You’re lucky you’re still gettin’ paid the amount that was agreed upon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that if you and your guys spent as much time working as you do talking and taking breaks you probably would’ve done your jobs right the first time, and we wouldn’t be in this situation, or behind a day.” The manger didn’t take too kindly to that statement, and Joel was so close to losing his nerve until he was saved by the bell, literally. Right before he was about to tell the construction manager that he can stick it where the sun don’t shine, his phone started ringing.

Joel sighed while taking his phone out of the carrying case to see it was the preschool calling much to his confusion. He didn’t even notice the construction manager was still talking.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it up with Tommy.” He said while waving him off and answering his phone. “Hello.”

“Mr. Miller.”

“Yeah.”

“This is Elizabeth, (Y/n)’s teacher. We need you to come to the school.” Joel immediately sighs, dragging his hand over his face.

“What’d she do?” He replies in an exhausted tone. He never gets calls from your schools unless it’s to let him know he needed to bring a change of clothes for you. All the preschoolers have to have an extra pair of clothes that’s to be kept in the classroom just in case the kids have an accident or something. But you’ve been acting out a lot lately, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was for something like that.

“It may be better for you to come up to the school so we can explain it to you face-to-face.” Joel didn’t like the way this was sounding. It was hard for him to pinpoint the emotion that was coming off her voice, which worried him more.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” He sighed while hanging up the phone. He walked over to Tommy who looks like he actually did tell the construction manager to shove it, going off the look on the of their faces. “Tommy, I need you to watch over everything here for a while.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“That was (Y/n)’s school, they need me to go up there.”

“Is everything okay with bun’?”

“I don’t know her teacher wouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just got into it with a kid in her class again.”

“Okay, call me when you find out what’s goin’ on.”

“I will. Alright I’m off, and make sure they actually do their job correctly this time.”

“I got it, go on.”

After that Joel made his way to the truck. Even though he says he’s sure she’s fine, he couldn’t help but worry about you. The tone of your teacher didn’t sound good at all. She sounded worried. And sad? Were you sick? He could deal with a common cold, but your teachers tone indicated something worse than that. And there has been a deadly virus going around the world, it hasn’t made it to America yet at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. But what if it has made it over seas? There’s no cure for it, and what if you had it? That couldn’t happen, to you or Sarah. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost one of you. No. Stop. That’s not going to happen. That would never happen. He hates when his mind gets like this, but as a single father the need to protect the two of you is the most important thing to him, and that makes him worry even more because that’s something he can’t ever fail at, and he doesn’t even want to think what’ll happen if he does.

He gets out of the truck and speed walks towards your classroom. He had gotten into his own head, but there’s something inside of him that’s telling him this is as serious as it feels.

“Mr. Miller.” He turns upon hearing his name being called, seeing your teacher standing in the doorway of the office.

“Where is she?” He asks as he makes his way to her. Once he got close enough he realized the tone in her voice wasn’t sadness, but pity? Why would she pity him, and where were you?

“She’s in the principals office. But! But before you go in we should probably explain what happened and why.” She said stopping him from brushing past her.

“What did she get into a fight with another kid or somethin’?” Joel ask impatiently.

“No-”

“Okay, then it can wait.” He moves to fast for her to stop and walks into the principals office to see you sitting in a chair with dried tear stain down your cheeks. He quickly kneeled in front of you gently grasping your hands in his.

“What’s wrong, babygirl. What happened?”

“I wanna go home.” You mumbled

“Ok, you want to tell me why?”

“Mr. Miller, we really need to talk to you.” The principal finally spoke up motioning to the officer hallway. He huffed as he stood up and followed the principal out, but not before he kissed your forehead and told you that he would be back.

“Okay, what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my daughter, who’s been crying? And why is she crying? I swear if that Richardson kid put her hands on her again-” He was annoyed with everyone at this point everyone besides you obviously, he just doesn’t understand why they couldn’t tell him while he comforted his daughter.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Miller. We just didn’t want to make her think that she was in trouble, we just got her to calm down.”

“So, she’s fine?”

“Physically, yes.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Ms. Elizabeth?” The principal could he was getting upset so she found it best to let your teacher explain what happened.

“Mr. Miller.”

“Would y’all stop calling my damn name and actually tell what the hell’s going on with my daughter?

“Well (Y/n) has been in an agitated mood all day, but that’s not the problem. Uhm, the kids just got back from lunch about 30 to 40 minutes ago, and after they eat I usually let them have play time before I start their last lesson for the day before nap time. Today during play time (Y/n) had a little outburst.” Elizabeth knew she was beating around the bush, but that’s because she has heard this conversation happen many times with other teachers and parents and most often than not the parents don’t respond to well.

“Little outburst?”

“Well not really an outburst, but more of a meltdown. This is the special needs teacher, Ms. Thomson, and a friend of mine so I know what signs to look out for in a child. And (Y/n) has been showing these signs since the beginning of the year. They can be overlooked especially in girls and be seen as ‘normal’ and in a way it is. For her anyway.”

“What are you talking about? Signs for what?” Joel asked in frustrated tone.

Ms. Elizabeth look over at the special needs teacher to nervous to continue, and to make sure that she’s positive of (Y/n)’s condition. To which her friend responded with a nod.

“We think (Y/n) has autism. And before you say anything, the signs are all there. I’ve been watching her since her first day of becoming my student. And we highly recommend that she be tested.”

“What? She’s not autistic. I think I would know if my daughter had autism. Look at her, does she look autistic to you?”

“Autism doesn’t always have a look Mr. Miller, and just because she doesn’t have a physical disablement doesn’t mean she’ll be any less autistic than someone with one. That’s why we recommend getting her tested to find out how far she is on the spectrum.”

“You sound so sure that, that’s what it is. How did y’all come up with autism from her having a ‘meltdown’? And what do you mean by meltdown?”

“Well after I sent the kids to go off and begin playing I noticed (Y/n) hadn’t moved from the table, she just sat there, covering her ears with tears in her eyes. She had been in that position since they came back from lunch. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me the other kids were being too loud. But before I could offer a solution the students behind us started screaming louder than what they were, which triggered somewhat of chain reaction with the rest of the class, so I turned around make sure everything was ok but when I that’s when (Y/n) ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. I had to send the other kids to sit in a classroom with another teacher. (Y/n) was crying. Sobbing. When I unlocked the door she was sitting in the corner squeezing the sides of her head so hard it looked painful. All to try and block out the world because it was too much for her. It broke my heart to see her like that because (Y/n) is sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and to see her in pain like, any child, it’s a hard thing to see. I had to wrestle with her a little to keep her from hurting herself, but I was able to get her calm enough to sit her in my lap and have her hold onto me while I called Ms. Thomson, who was able to calm her further until she reassociated with everything around her.

“Pain?” That’s when the special needs teacher finally decided to step in and say something.

“It’s called a sensory overload, Mr. Miller. It’s very common in the Autism Spectrum. It’s when someone on the spectrum becomes to overwhelmed with the world around them, and if they can’t find some kind of outlet from everything more than likely it’s going to cause a break down in one way or another.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s autistic-“

“Mr. Miller. Does (Y/n) walk on her tippy toes?

“Yeah, but all babies do that.”

“How does she act when she is in a large crowd or around someone she doesn’t know.” Ms. Thomson was completely calm while asking these questions. Knowing that getting agitated or saying something wrong could keep you from getting the help you need.

“The same as any other kid.”

“Does she get in mood where she doesn’t want to talk or just can’t talk in general?”

“Ok look, you’re only naming things all kids do.”

“Yes, but like every thing else on the spectrum there’s a line where it occurs more than it should. Let me ask you one more question Mr. Miller.

He doesn’t even reply he only took a breath to let her know he didn’t want to talk about the topic anymore. Still in denial, even after everything they just told him.

“Does she tend to twitch, or repeat her movements? Have you ever seen her stiffen or strain her body?” Joel didn’t even reply.

“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Miller. Please, get her tested. It will help her make it in a society that wasn’t made for her. Giving her benefits she can use to even the playing field with neurotypicals. Don’t you think she deserves that?” Joel really didn’t want to accept this. Knowing that if you are autistic, you’ll face more difficulties in life. All because you were different. Difficulties you’re already facing, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“What do I need do to get her tested?” Joel asked after his little debate. All he can hope that the test comes out as negative, but that’s a long shot, given the special needs teacher already seems so sure, the test was just to confirm it.

Ms. Thomson who was smiling after hearing his agreement answered him. “Nothing, I already have an appointment set up for her with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician, who is also a good friend of mine. So, as soon as she finishes with the evaluation you will get the results. I just needed your approval.”

“Okay. Uh, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Is it ok if I take her home?” Joel ask looking towards your teacher.

“Yes, I think that’s the best thing for her right now. Being in her safe space with all her things will help her get some much needed rest. I will write down the appointment information and what you’ll need for the evaluation and put it in her backpack for you.”

“Thank you.” After that Joel walked back into the office to see you playing with one of the pens on the principals desk in one hand and your head laying on top of the other. “Hey babygirl. You want to go home?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the chair, while making sure to keep his voice at a low level. Once you nodded he stood up, gently grabbed your hand, and the two of you went to get your bag and appointment information.

January 20, 2003 - 1:00 p.m.

Joel and Tommy were on their lunch break at a burger place when Joel’s phone started ringing. He cleaned his hands and took his phone out it’s carrying case before answering. “Hello?”

“Is this Joel Miller?” A woman’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, good. This is Tonia, the neurodevelopmental pediatrician that did (Y/n)’s evaluation.”

“Right, so what were the results?”

“Well, the documents are ready for you to come and get them, and I will break everything down once you get here, if you want.”

“Uhhhh yeah, I’ll be there in about 20-25 minutes.”

“Ok, see you then. Bye bye.”

“Bye. Get up Tommy, we gotta go.”

“I’m still eatin’”

“Tommy, bring it with you. Jesus.” Joel mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

They made it to the building, and Joel was doing his best to remember the way to the correct office while also trying to calm his anxious mind. When they made it to the office, Joel knocked on the door frame of the open door before walking in Tonia’s office.

“Here you go.” She said as she handed the papers to Joel who noticed it was about 15 pages.

“Wha-what am I looking at?” He asked looking up at the pediatric who let out a low chuckle, she gets the same reaction from almost all of the parents she encounters.

“Well first things first, I’ve concluded (Y/n) does have ASD. She is what we call a high-functioning autistic, and I came up with that diagnosis based on her teacher’s observations, your own, and from the activities I had her to do. The evaluation explains everything of what that means in detail like her sensitivity to sounds, her not liking to touch certain things, lack of social skills, etcétera.”

“So, what does this mean for her?”

“Well, she can stay in Ms. Elizabeth’s class, there’s no need to move her to the special needs class permanently. But she does have special education, and all that means is that Ms. Thomson will take her in her classroom to help her find ways to calm herself when she feels herself getting overstimulated. Or if she can’t and Ms. Elizabeth sees she is getting overwhelmed or she tells Ms. Elizabeth she’s getting overwhelmed they’ll send her to Ms. Thomson class or a quiet place for her to calm down. And maybe she’ll even have better luck with making friends in the special needs classroom than she does in her regular class. And education wise it means when she gets test she can go to a different classroom to take it and she’ll be able receive more time on any tests she has to take as well.” She looked up from her notes, making sure she got all the main checkpoints, but when she did Joel’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“Mr. Miller, the worst thing you can do for her is to feel bad for her. There’s no reason too.”

“No reason to? The whole point of this was to make sure she gets the help she needs to keep up with everyone else.”

“No, the reason for this was to make sure she had the help if and when she needs it. Academically (Y/n) is one of the smartest kids in her class, actually in her grade. It might take more effort, but she’s keeping up with her classmates. Some of the worst things you can do is pity her, hold her back due to being overprotective, or use it as an excuse to make her seem more fragile. I’m not saying she’s not going to have challenges because she is, but all you have to do is stay beside and make sure she keeps working at it till she gets it. And stay way from describing her condition as ‘slow’ or ‘retarded’. And you can’t punish her because of her stimming or overstimulated behavior. Not saying that you would! I mean- you just wouldn’t believe how many parents would get agitated and angry about things their child can’t control, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re attentive to her, and that’s something she’s going to need from you growing up.” Joel nodded in understanding still skimming through the evaluation packet.

“Thank you for doing this in such short notice.”

“No problem. She’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve met. And cutest.” That caused a smile to appear on Joel’s face. He hasn’t been able to smile much since Thursday, always thinking about you and the whole situation. Which has been weighing on his mind literally 24/7.

“Thank you for this, you have a nice day.” He said before turning around to leave out the office.

“You as well.” She replied also smiling at Tommy, who smiled and winked back, reaching his goal of getting her to laugh.

Joel barely made through the door before Sarah hit him with a “what’d she say?”

“Uhhh- where’s (Y/n)? And how’d you know she called?”

“She called the house phone first. And (Y/n) is upstairs, I just got her out the tub, which she didn’t like, at all.”

“She didn’t want to get out?”

“No, she didn’t want to get in. But she should be finished putting on her pajamas by now.”

“Ok, go get her and I’ll tell y’all the results.”

“Ok.” Sarah ran upstairs to get you, when you both got down stairs and sat on the couch, Sarah sat on the right side of Joel, and he picked you up and sat you on his lap tucking you into his side.

“How was school today, honey.” Joel turning his head towards you.

“Good. Ms. Elizabeth gave me headphones to put on my ears when everything got too loud again.”

“Did she? That was real nice of her.”

“Yeah. How was your day, daddy?”

“It was really good, babygirl. Thank you for asking.” The smile you gave him made his whole day. He thought back to what the pediatrician said about not pitying you because that’s not something you need from him. Looking at you now he realized she was right. He’s going to do his best to give you what you need. Whatever it may be, and he knows you’re going to grow into a smart and beautiful woman. He reached down and kissed your temple getting laugh out of you, a sound he would never get tired of.

Joel turned his towards Sarah, about to ask her how her day went stopped him before he started.

“My day was fine, the same. What did she say?” Joel paused for a second before he chuckled at her before pointing to the where he sat the evaluation.

“That’s the paper, she gave me that explains everything.” He blinked and Sarah had the papers in her hand, while she started reading he turned back to you to explain everything to you somehow.

“Ok babygirl. Do you remember test you had to take with the lady a few days ago?” After you nodded he continued. “You remember she told you it’s going let us know if you think differently than everybody else?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it turns out you do.”

“Is that bad?”

“No! No, no, no. It’s not bad at all, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Ok?”

“Ok.”’

“All it means is some things may be a little harder or more overwhelming to you than other people, but it also means better at other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like being artistic, and solving puzzles. But it also means you can be smarter than others in your class. You may have to learn some things in a different way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be smarter. You already are. Ms. Elizabeth told me you were one of the smartest people in your grade.”

“She did!?”

“She did.”

“Wow.” You whispered in awe.

“Yeah, that’s a big deal, and daddy is so proud of you. You remember that, ok? No matter how big you get.”

“I promise, daddy.”

“Good. I love you babygirl.” He said, pressing another kiss to your temple.

“I love you too, daddy.” You said placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Awwwww, that’s so sweet. What are we eating for dinner? I’m hungry.” Sarah interrupted and Joel huffed out a laughed placing a quick kiss on her temple as well.

“I’m proud of you too baby.”

“I know, dad.” She said softly smiling.

“How about we go out for dinner? I really don’t feel like cookin’.”

“Fine with me. Come on (Y/n), let’s go put some clothes on.”

“Okay!” You said as you jumped up from Joel’s lap and ran off to catch up to your big sister.

A/n: Long story short the story was too long🤭🙇‍♀️😭 so I decided to split it into two parts. I hope you guys enjoy, sorry I took so long. But I love you guys for being patient, I really appreciate it.

#joel miller x autistic!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller x reader #hbo tlou #tlou fanfiction #A New Diagnosis #joel miller x autistic!daughter!reader #joel miller x autistic daughter!reader

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qc-wiggles · 6 months

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they say write what you know and what i know is academic stress and yearbook pain. so anyways it's a yearbook club au!!!!

YEARBOOK CLUB MEMBERS:

supervising teachers: gertrude and leitner. they become uncontactable like a week into the project (do they die? do they resign? tim has a running theory that they eloped.)

elias: head of yearbook club. dips unexpectedly in the middle of the entire thing (something about an optical surgery) and forces jon to take over. his dad paid for the adobe subscription they’re using

rosie: treasurer, she’s very efficient, they’ve probably exchanged like 3 emails in total and she’s gotten everything funded. knows well enough to stay out of the dumpster fire that is yearbook production otherwise

jon: de facto head of yearbook club. thinks it should have gone to sasha instead. hes a bit incompetent but plans like it’s doomsday the next week so they are always in a wealth of excel sheets. writer, editor

tim: joined partly because he wanted an excuse to get out of football fixtures. also because he is 1 out of jons 3 friends including his ex and jon asked him. he has a tiktok. marketing, editor

sasha: joined partly to impress gertrude (she’s looking for her to write her letter of recommendation as head girl in sixth form). also because she is 1 out of jons 3 friends including his ex and jon asked her. she still uses livejournal. designer, writer

gerry: sixth form, occasionally helps out with networking at gertrude’s behest. tim is a bit starstruck over him. he saves their asses many, many times

melanie and georgie: got unofficially roped in as photographers. why you ask? manuela dominguez may have the cutting edge cameras but she is simply too scary to approach. melanie has a youtube channel that all the girls and tim are apparently subscribed to.

martin: there is not one single picture of him. apparently he didn’t turn up for photo day, neither was he involved in any school events. even the people who have shared half-remembered facts about him seem to forget about him when questioned a second time. where did he go?

PLOT:

it’s the month before the yearbook is due to be sent in for production, and the team have discovered numerous issues with the draft: pictures of random people keep getting swapped over like they’ve been photoshopped, some pages are illegible and distorted unless they are physically written out in hand and scanned, one paragraph is a leitner. and nobody can find martin blackwood so they can get his picture in the yearbook. what will they do.

SIDE CHARACTERS:

annabelle cane: current head girl

mikaele salesa: somehow knows literally everyone, involved in the funding of yearbook production

mike crew: uneasy alliance with gerry in their pursuit of jurgen leitner

oliver banks: had a mental breakdown sometime during his gcses but hes fine now

david from research: nobody says it to his face but he has genuinely the most atrocious clothing choice in the entire school apart from michael shelley, and even then michael shelley makes work

grifter’s bone: the band of the school, except no one actually knows anyone who’s part of it. their shows are legendarily terrible. manuela says ambulances were phoned.

daisy and basira: prefects, currently invested in making sure yearbook club remains LEGAL and not STALKING ANY STAFF OR STUDENTS, JON

jmag: principal. boo. what a creep

julia montauk: apparently her dad went to jail. but who is she living with now? i don’t know, manuela told me. how does manuela know? julia told her in a sleepover during year 6. and she’s telling other people? wow. that’s messed up. is that old guy her grandpa? why does he carry a rifle around

jared hopworth: prejudiced gymbro, but importantly, NOT a homophobe.

the admiral: what else needs to be said

FAMOUS ALUMNI:

agnes montague (campus celebrity from literally decades ago) (her relationship with jack barnabas is mythicised)

jude perry (allegedly caused some fire-related, agnes-related events)

edwin burroughs (allegedly commited atrocities during one year’s christmas dinner)

jane prentiss (left for uni a year ago, allegedly brought many live organisms onto campus) (keeps talking about this guy called jordan)

eric delano (he did WHAT to his eyes)

MISCELLANEOUS POINTS:

daedalus crew is astronomy club

breekon and hope are the manufacturers for much of the schools equipment and stationery

jon keeps finding notes from gertrude stashed in random places about yearbook difficulties its like a fun cool treasure hunt

they cant figure out where a computer they were initially using for yearbook club is from. it says ‘ushanka’ on the bottom of the display and the keys are slightly crusty

what the hell are the drama students actually up to

#changing this later probably #talks #school au

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thatturtleleon · 9 months

Text

Little ramble about Ratchet and Raf:

One of my hcs for Raf is that he has sensory issues and wears earphones/headphones (mostly me projecting lol but i've seen other people hc this too)

I also hc that Ratchet (along with the other bots too) has PTSD or something similar, due to being in a war for so long

So I feel like they both share a dislike of loud noises

And although it may be for different reasons, they each understand how triggering/upsetting they can be, and help one another when they need it

Y'know the scraping metal sound that happens when the bots slide/skid across a metal surface? Yeah Raf does NOT enjoy that sound

It mainly only happens when there's fighting/a battle so it doesn't happen that often, but sometimes when Bulkhead and the others are wrestling or playing one of their Cybertronian sports games, the sound of the metal screeching as they play can be pretty loud

Ratchet doesn't care about the noise because 1, he's used to it, and 2, it's mainly loud booming noises that cause him to jump or panic

He notices Raf's uneasiness and tells the others to quiet down.

(More like he yells at them not to wrestle near all his equipment and that they're being too damn loud)

and after a couple "I needed that!" 's from ratchet, they get the memo and go do a quieter activity

Raf looks much more comfortable after that

Now, when Ratchet has an issue with a loud noise, I think it'd be different than Raf having an issue

Ratchet's older, wiser, old man who doesn't want to be a burden-er etc. so he is a little more skilled at hiding when something like this is bothering him

Raf is very observant though, he took notice of how Ratchet ever so slightly jumped and/or froze when an especially large thunder crack happened, or how he didn't talk as much during the fourth of July (fireworks)

Raf is also very smart, he knew that if he straight up confronted Ratchet about it, he would wave it off as nothing and not want to concern the human

So, whenever there's a big thunderstorm, fireworks, etc. Raf just somehow suddenly has a million questions for Ratchet

*crackling of thunder outside*

"Hey Ratchet? What's the Cybertronian alphabet like? Are there multiple languages or just that one?"

Cue Ratchet basically forgetting about the loud noise and answering all of Raf's questions in great detail, thankful for a distraction

Overall, these two are more similar than they think and they help each other out like family

#I don't rly like the sound of the metal or fireworks either so i feel them lol #tfp #tfp raph #tfp ratchet #tfp ratchet hcs #tfp raf hcs #transformers #tf #transformers prime #maccaddam #tfp character analysis #raf esquivel #ratchet transformers #macaddams #ratchet and raf tfp #tf prime #tfp hcs #transformers prime headcanons #ratchet

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riddle-me-ri · 9 months

Note

Riddler boys with an s/o in college who is really smart, but has anxiety and feels like a total screw up and a failure. And reader just wants Riddler to comfort them and help to stop the feelings of drowning and pressure. No, I’m not projecting, and you can’t prove that I am.

a/n: You can’t hide from me anon, I know when someone is projecting when I see it. Especially because I do it too! And this is the exact type of feelings and thoughts that I deal with on a regular basis both when I was in college and even now out of school. So if it helps, I’m projecting too lmao, also although I love him I skipped hush (dcau) eddie cause again, I felt these get a wee repetitive lmao

The Riddlers with an Anxious College Student S/O

Arkhamverse Riddler:

First of all, he’s like…the last person to go to for comfort.

Not only because he’s busy but…he rarely handles his own emotions in a healthy way…

But no matter how much he ignores you…it’s distracting having you all fidgety and self-loathing…

Edward will give you something to do to try and take your mind off of it.

Yes, that’s right…he’s allowing you to help him…

To be in his workshop, with him, quite a privilege really! You’ll probably learn much more from him than any college course!

Almost tries to talk you out of college altogether.

You know he’s trying and it does mean a lot to know he trusts you enough to be in his workshop.

Besides…if the Riddler himself trusts you and thinks you’re smart enough…then you must be!

Reevesverse/Dano Riddler:

Ah, yeah…he recalled not having the best time in college either.

Edward went in and got out doing the bare minimum just so he could get a decent job

(so much for that, he bemoans)

You’re so much more than any institution, or grades, or anything like that.

You’re brilliant, intuitive, and perceptive!

He’s quick to comfort you although you may need to tell him how.

He’ll offer to hold you and rock you back and forth while rubbing your back

Or he’ll let you bend his ear and just vent your emotions and frustrations, he’s learned that sometimes helps.

Whatever you need him to do, he’ll do it.

Gotham Riddler:

Oh gosh, oh dear…

Unlike Dano Riddler, I have a feeling this Eddie absolutely thrived at university.

Atleast the educational aspects anyhow.

But he’s familiar with the feeling of not being good enough, no matter how hard you try.

He takes you in his arms and begins whispering sweet affirmations in your ear.

You’re enough, you’re more than enough. You’re the best thing that’s happened to him.

Perhaps you’re just burned out, he notices the bags under your eyes.

And if you’re struggling you can always come to him for help, regardless of the subject.

Edward knows how amazing you are, but even amazing people need help every once in awhile.

BTAS Riddler:

Edward is instantly there for you.

He holds your hands or shoulders and rubs them with his hands, trying to soothe your nerves.

He hates to see you this upset, but he can understand reaching a boiling point with your own emotions.

Eddie lets you let it all out, all your anxieties.

He will likely ask you what you need, if you need advice, comfort, or just his presence.

He will gladly oblige to whatever you choose.

Like Gotham Riddler, he’ll offer to help you with your school work

He’ll comfort you with kisses and embraces.

He will sit by your side until you’ve calmed down and will be ready with something to take your mind off your anxieties.

Zero Year/Cappullo Riddler:

Again, not exactly the first guy I’d go to for comfort or reassurance.

Edward will just shrug, not entirely sure why you care what your professors or peers think.

If anyone’s thoughts should count, it’s his.

You should feel worthy of yourself because he tolerates you…

That’s him being nice, I told you he’s not the best at this.

Ed gets confused when you don’t continue the bait to banter.

He sighs when he sees the absolutely crestfallen look on your face.

It takes everything he can, but he tells you that you’re special…to him especially…

It takes a certain someone to put up with him, your tenacity, your brightness…that’s all you.

TWOJAR Riddler:

Edward honestly doesn’t understand why you choose to go anyway.

You could easily learn whatever you need to know from him, instead of some dull professor.

He thinks it’s strange that you let something trivial as school get to you, it’s not like it’s going to last forever, unless you insist of going to get a better degree.

He tries, he honestly does, but again he just doesn’t understand the big deal.

You’re clearly smart, you got into that school anyway, and you impress him time and time again.

Him, you know, The Riddler? You have nothing to prove…this pressure you feel from school is temporary.

Edward isn’t the best with words of comfort, but somehow the effort he tried to put in is enough to make you feel a little better.

Gotham City Sirens Riddler:

Edward was curious why your mind seemed to be somewhere else.

You also began second-guessing yourself, which wasn’t like you.

When you admit your insecurities and how you’ve been struggling with your self-worth from college.

Edward’s perplexed. Really? College courses?

Why do you care? College is a means to an end.

You’re obviously really intelligent, almost on par with him.

You often helped him think outside of the box on his more obscure cases.

He didn’t just allow anyone to be his assistant, or to aid him on cases.

Maybe, he should tell you that more often, but when he tells you it definitely makes you feel warm inside.

Telltale Riddler:

Likely frowned upon you attending a university anyway.

But I can see this Edward using it as a means to distract you from interfering with his work.

Also another Ed not to go to for comfort, lmao.

Doesn’t understand why you put so much pressure on yourself when it’s not necessary.

Especially for some meager classes.

He leaves you alone to grovel for a bit, assuming it will pass eventually like such emotions do…

But he realizes that your moping silence is more distracting than when you’re trying to get his attention with affection.

Edward reassures you that you’re just enough how you are, if you weren’t you wouldn’t be with him now would you?

The comment surprises you, but makes you perk up nonetheless.

Young Justice Riddler:

Bless him, Eddie gets upset because you’re upset.

Man is panicking slightly but tries his best to hold it together.

When you let him in on the growing, heavy pressure building up, and how you feel like a failure…

Eddie’s heart cracks for you. You can’t be serious?

You’re more than enough, you’re not a failure, are you kidding? You’re the glue that holds the team together! You have the best plans!

Screw that school, they’re not worth your attention!

B-But maybe, you could also be burned out? It’s been a while but, he’s been to school…

Edward nervously offers to help you with your school work, but enforces that it doesn’t have to be like a date or anything.

His endearing comments and efforts are enough to ease your insecurities, especially in favor to help him with his.

#ri writes #the riddler x reader #edward nygma x reader #headcanons #arkhamverse riddler x reader #reevesverse riddler x reader #dano riddler x reader #gotham riddler x reader #btas riddler x reader #zero year riddler x reader #capullo riddler x reader #twojar riddler x reader #gotham city sirens riddler x reader #telltale riddler x reader #young justice riddler x reader

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shinakazami1 · 2 months

Text

BL3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot - notes on Timothy + theories

Ok this is more of me just trying to take notes on his character for some future projects in one place ohisafiosfa

1) Timothy's behaviour and appearance

a) Introducing with his name

In Pre-Sequel, Timothy is established to have a face bomb that prevents him from saying his name. When he gets to Roland, he also says his name rhymes with Jimothy.

But in BL3, he just... introduces himself?

"But my name is just Timothy."

During the DLC, he mentions that his face-bomb stops him from escaping the casino. My best bet is that the face bomb got reprogrammed and can have a limited amount of conditions that might cause it to blow up.

b) Injected with Jack's DNA...or is he

Timothy is the reason why we believe the body doubles (or at least Tim) has Jack's DNA in them, causing them to talk like him.

"Follow this fine ass! Uh, god."

But as we see the body double in BL2, some get voice lines to say to seem Jack. (BTW I really love @kolbasos ' headcanon that Timothy is the only doppelganger that got plastic surgery).

To me, Timothy was onlymade to believe that DNA thing (as DNA shouldn't have behavioral traits in them), just like he was made to believe he was branded with the Vault mark (headcanon taken from @kitkat578 ).

Kit noticed that if Timothy had the same Vault mark as Jack, we would see it through the crack in the mask. Yet it's just not there!! Not a single blue tint anywhere on that skin!

Like, even Customer 1345 has some more resembling of that mark than him. The marks could possibly be just afterdoing when people find out Jack is dead and thus the guy just got the marks which even more makes it weird that we can't see Timothy's mark.

It is plausible that the amnestic anaesthetic mentioned in Pre Sequel tapes is a bit of a key. Timothy might not remember every single operation well enough or might have memories scrapped, so he just has some lies surrounding those moments.

Vault Mark seems like something Jack wouldn't want people to know about - that's why he has the mask, duh. But Timothy knows about it anyway. It's possible that he had some surgery to get the mask hinges on him, and was told he also got the mark just so he would resent Lilith and everybody connected to her.

With the DNA part - I think it's supposed to serve as motivation. Timothy was shit at acting as Jack in Pre-Sequel. Most people knew he wasn't Jack, he even introduced himself as not-Jack, during Space Slam and most people refer to him as Vault Hunter. It's really rare for him to act as the dude he is paid to act as. I think this lie was either told to him or he made it up, as he started at some point to say and think like Jack more. Even if he hates it, giving himself an excuse for it could help him get more and more into the role, or he would talk way more often like Jack.

c) Swearing

A thing that seems to be very silly about Borderlands series is its relationship with cursing. Handsome Jack is a great example of it- he doesn't like some curses. It's why Angel seems to hlt herself sometimes before cursing. Mr. Torgue has a censor wired to his voicebox due to the shareholders so, maybe Jack wants to keep those happy, too.

Timothy seems to be weirded out to being able to say "asshole" instead of a-hole, when referring to Pretty Boy. It's possibly either a voice modulator censorship or another face bomb thing that just like his name, got reprogrammed to only not letting him out.

He gets so happy he says it two times in a row foahissioa (also off top but his planning skills seem to match Rhys' <3)

2) Moxxi

a) Moxxi seems not to trust Timothy. It may be just due to him working for Handsome Jack for so many years. If there is some other reason though, feel free to tell me :0c

b) Date

Timothy mentions that when Jack got "mega-rich", Jack wanted to win Moxxi back, so Timothy went on a date with her. The issue I have with it, however, is when this date could have taken place.

In Pre-Sequel, when we meet Moxxi for the first time, Timothy says this:

"Holy shi-- hi! I'm uh -- Jack. Obviously. And I need your help. Are you SURE we're not dating? -- Wow!"

Due to his reaction, it feels as if this was really their first meeting. But there are only points in the story where the date could have canonically taken place:

Before Pre-Sequel (I think already after wife's death due to Jack's possible bad behaviour in the break up):

For: - Jack had just gotten rich enough to try to get Moxxi back. - Timothy's reaction can be like this due to just the outfit. Moxxi went on the date just due to hunger so she could have dressed more casually (just like in her garage outfit). - Timothy also at one point asks her to marry him. Iif they already had this date, it would also be an aftereffect to knowing each other better.

Against: - This dialogue really feels like their first meeting. - Timothy seems so focused on getting that second date in-game that it feels like it was their last meeting. But it's not a strong point, since it might just be him wanting to get a second date, who knows.

Before BL2:

For: - Jack got even richer. - They already knew each other so she would know that the body double she is spending time with is Timothy. - This moment could potentially strengthen his crush on her after she tried to destroy Jack in Pre-Sequel, esp since this would mean Timothy also would have died

Against: - Jack doesn't seem like a guy who would want a relationship with someone who tried to kill him ohsoai and he was already getting with Nisha - Jack has a part in the casino called "Foxxxi's" - which shows just how much he dislikes her.

While before Pre-Sequel makes sense, both options are plausible.

#my ramblings #bl3 #borderlands 3 #timothy lawrence #ALSO WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT HOW THE HOLOGRAPHIC JACK IN THE CASINO SEEMS TO BE AI AND NOT RECORDING HELLO????#LIKE IT REACTS TO THE CASINO BEING TURNED OFF #AND THAT WE ARE VAULT HUNTERS #is it just recordings of jack in so many situations #but why would he get himself some losing reactions #damn #borderlands #pre sequel #jack doppelganger #21-c

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joe-spookyy · 21 days

Note

Dude tell me your thoughts about Daniel Cain + any headcannons??

hi what greatest ask i’ve ever received because all i ever have are thoughts about daniel cain. sorry this is gonna be an essay. um.

tldr - dan cain is a super fascinating character (especially when you read him as queer) and his high empathy makes it difficult for him to make the hard but necessary choices found often in the medical field, but easy for him to be manipulated by those he thinks can help him do the most Good. also he is not immune to herbert west. full post under cut and it’s pretty good you should read it.

ok first off he is literally JUST like me for real. but second. i really think he’s a fascinating character no matter how you read him. his empathy is Soooo high and it affects literally everything he does - sometimes for the worse cause he’s a doctor and honestly cannot afford to be getting this upset every time he loses a patient. but it’s part of him, which i think makes him a super interesting counterpart to herbert. he’s so distinctly Human and he cares so much about the people around him, and he’s a horrible doormat/people pleaser. this is, obviously, not at all like herbert. narrative foils oooooh. when i met bruce abbott he told me he thinks dan is a “spineless worm”, which may be technically true, but i think the way dan is so easily convinced to go along with herbert is because of this heavy empathy. he wants to do everything within his power to make things better, and what could really be better than conquering death? how much pain could he stop just with that?

because of that, i think it makes SO much sense that it was so easy for herbert to initially manipulate him into working together. plus i also think later on in the films his feelings for herbert get in the way of his judgement to. an incredible extent. herbert just has to ask and dan will immediately be at his every beck and call. hes like a dog. he wants out but he can’t stop coming back to herbert. i struggle to find any other way to explain why he’d still be living with herbert after the first movie - after all, herbert kind of did kill everything dan ever loved (girlfriend, cat, legitimate medical career). and i think these things affected him on a really deep level (which. yeah. obviously) but the way he acts in bride is so indicative of what that kind of trauma does to a person and it’s fascinating to me. he projects so hard on to gloria because of how guilty he felt for not being able to save meg. he shuts down in a lot of the more serious situations. sure, he did have his little going into shock moment in the first film, but it’s a reoccurring thing in bride. he doesn’t seem to have such a strong moral code anymore, but that empathy is still there - even though what he’s doing with herbert and their little bride project isn’t quite morally Right, all he really has left is herbert and he is dying for a way to get back to the normalcy that herbert has pulled away from him. and yet, he’s never able to really Leave. he can’t move out, he can’t stop helping herbert, he can’t really get meg back as much as he tries. but he’s too far down the rabbit hole to really care at this point. he just cares about getting what he loves back.

and sure. did he abandon herbert at the end of the first movie for meg? yeah. did he abandon herbert at the end of the second movie for francesca? also yes. did he rat herbert out to the authorities? yes (but that’s a character choice i simply cannot get behind he would not do that shit after everything he still does obviously love and care about herbert if he was gonna be a narc he would have done it after the first movie herbert didn’t even do all that much wrong in the second movie like come on he was just getting creative. whatever. anyways.) now, his choice to save meg in the first movie makes a lot of sense, in my opinion. he assumed herbert was dead (which. not a bad assumption tbh) and meg was his girl - it makes a lot more sense to save her than someone he hasn’t known for nearly as long. but when he chooses to escape with francesca and leave herbert behind, it’s a little bit jarring. he’s obviously gotten close with herbert. they still live together, they bicker like a married couple, and if we’re being honest he kind of follows herbert’s every command. again. like a dog. and plus! they just created life together in a quite homoerotic fashion!!! why in the world would dan fumble this?? well, i think i can explain it. herbert represents a lack of societal normalcy. think like doctor praetorius in the bride of frankenstein. herbert’s heavily queercoded, he actively defies god, he kills and he disrespects the dead and he’s terrible socially and he shoots up drugs (sorta) and he is all about medical malpractice. this is the opposite of what someone like dan SHOULD want. dan’s straight passing (or straight if you want to read him that way which i don’t recommend cause otherwise this analysis doesn’t make as much sense), kind and friendly, and wants a good, normal career in the medical field. and he loves his perfect girlfriend. meg (and later francesca) represent these “good” and “normal” things that dan wants and is expected to want. herbert, again, represents the opposite. so for dan to choose herbert and save him over either meg or francesca, he would be choosing to step away from the life he is “supposed” to live, the socially acceptable life. people are already suspicious of him and west as we see in the novelization of the first movie, and to save his visibly queer strange little “roommate” over the woman he’s supposed to love would have certain implications that would draw dan away from this life of normalcy that he wants so badly. but most importantly. herbert always comes back. he’s a part of dan that can’t be escaped.

well. that was a lot. headcanons. umm. i think you probably got a lot from the novel i just wrote but here’s more.

- i loveeee the dan starts smoking after meg dies hc

- i don’t believe he ratted on herbert. i think they’re still working together making freaky shit to this day. even as old men.

- i know i just said queer the whole time i was talking but he’s bisexual and you aren’t allowed to disagree with me. herbert’s gay though. emphasizes the differences between them - dan CAN choose that “normal” life but herbert can’t.

- i think he ends up needing glasses as he gets older. he wears em to read in the first movie and i think his vision declines.

- also he goes grey earlier than herbert imo cause of all the stress. herbert makes fun of him for this but herbert’s hairline is. ummmn. less powerful. so dan has ammo to fight back.

- i don’t think he’d ever be able to get a cat again after rufus. or really any pet. i don’t think he trusts himself not to damage everything he touches

- i think he’s a huge talking heads stan. you could argue this as canon because of the stop making sense poster above his bed, but i think he’s a super fan. and maybe i’m projecting. so what.

- no matter how many times herbert does it or offers it to him, he refuses to take any of the reagent.

uhh. yeah. sorry that this post is so long i hope it is sufficient to what you were looking for. thank you sincerely so much for asking this was the most fun i’ve ever had. bless up.

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astrok1dz · 1 year

Note

Was sneaking through the John doe tag n found your account 👀 I really like your writing! Hope you don't mind me spam liking a bit!

I don't see anywhere if requests are open, unless I'm dumb lmao, so feel free to just toss this if they're closed

Could I request John Doe with an affectionate reader, who likes to rant to him about their interests, but always feels like they're annoying him after cause growing up they never had anyone listen to them ramble

Thank you, regardless if you do this or not, and have a great day! ❤

A/n: OMG YES I FORGOT TO SAY THAT REQUESTS ARE OPEN- also ur request is personally so relatable omfg. that being said.

Doe with an affectionate S/O!

cws: mentions of insecurities(?, pure fluff, not proofread, may be OOC(??

Doe will listen to you talk about anything.

I mean. ANYTHING.

You could talk about cockroaches for an hour for all he cares. The fact that it’s YOU talking and that you chose to talk to him? He’s melting.

But, you’re insecure, and John is too im love to not be oblivious.

He’s a little dense when it comes to this.

Sometimes he’ll listen to you talk too much and he’ll look like he’s not paying attention

But it’s the opposite!! He’s registering everything!! He’s just quiet cuz he doesn’t want to interrupt! He’ll burst into words and affection as soon as you finish ranting

You talk to him about this and how it makes you feel. You feel like you’re a chore or burden to listen to, and that you don’t want that to be the case. Especially not with him.

He will reassure you oh so desperately

“You just- stay so quiet… I don’t wanna bother you with all my ranting. I-I- I do all of the talking and maybe you’re fed up with it and-”

He stares at you in SHOCK. Pure, raw, SHOCK. Is this what he caused? A slight pain hits right through him, to have caused you this stress.

“Oh no no no my love! I love listening to you, your voice is so lovely and everything you say is so interesting, I swear swear swear swear swear!”

He will proceed to recite everything you said back to him. Even if you tell him you believe him. From then on he started commenting and getting more and more involved in the rants you had rather than just nodding quietly.

“I’m so sorry I caused you this stress, I’m so so sorry!”

You hug him, almost tearing up, because he’s just so worried about your well-being and he actually loves listening to you? He starts showing it much better and much more often too, and you just have to stop yourself from crying when he makes little additions to your rants.

“… and then she said the exact same thing I did! So why was it all wrong when I said it? I mean- the fuck is her deal?!”

“Right? She doesn’t own the truth. She sounds so annoying, love. You want me to do something about it…?!”

Your mouth hangs open for a little bit, before gaining back your composure, heart swelling in your chest.

“Just take me out to eat, will you, Doe?”

“Of course!”

I think a lot of people jump right to the gory and killing part when they learn that Doe will do anything for You, when it can also be something as simple as learning how to be a better partner for you.

TYSM FOR THE REQUEST!!! I LOVED WRITING (and projecting onto) THIS!! <3

Tags:

#oneshot #john doe #john doe visual novel #john doe game #john doe x reader #john doe one shot #john doe oneshot #john doe fic #john doe fanfic #john doe fluff #john doe x you

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aladaylessecondblog · 6 days

Text

The Sharmat's Lovers (Dagoth Ur/female Nerevarine/Indoril Nerevar)

Author's Note: This is just an excuse for pure unadulterated filth. Sex, oral, fingering, M/M/F, Nerevar has both sets of plumbing because idk

All Voryn's dreams are coming true ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-------------------------------

It was something that took time to get used to, this strange trio that they had formed.

Sadara had hoped when she was brought back in her ghostly form and restored from her ashes, had seen that hope perish when Vivec returned Nerevar's bones, and had it rise again after a lengthy argument in which she and Nerevar had both stated that the other deserved Voryn more.

And Voryn, oddly, had come up with just the thing to settle the argument.

"Why should I not have both of you? I have two hands, after all."

It had been an odd thought that neither she nor Nerevar had even considered. Each of them had replied, "Why should you want ME when you could have her (or him)?"

And though she had never considered such a thing before Sadara found herself quite pleased with the outcome. She was free to dally with Nerevar, and he with Voryn, and with much discussion they had all grown to rely on the bond between the three of them. After such time in solitude and despair it was wonderful to be so surrounded with love.

Voryn did as he had always done. Nerevar conferred with Gilvoth as to the defense of the place (and of all of the Red Mountain region), and she...well, she tended the home, as she'd wished to for such a long time. It was comforting for her to look after such things, to direct the servants, to see that guests had all they needed. It was wonderful not to have to really worry any longer about things like food, security, or--

"The lady is alone. I believe she was told to avoid this." Nerevar's voice echoed slightly in the large room.

There was, she was sure, no safer woman in all Morrowind than her. No woman better taken care of, fussed over, tended to, doted on.

"The lady was going to have a bath and then a nap," Sadara replied. "Sometimes she thinks her loves worry too much."

"And I think you do not worry enough."

"I spent eighteen years worrying...forgive me for not--"

"I know, dearest. Apologies...given what I witnessed not only in my life but in yours as well...I find it is hard to lay down that anxiety. Every day I expect to wake up and find that all this bliss is nothing more than a cruel illusion."

Nerevar's affection was similar to Voryn's, but where the latter tended to be more silent and grabby in his affection, Nerevar was more inclined to speak his mind and lay his anxieties out. It was a regular habit for some one of them to have a day like this, and for one of the others to comfort and be comforted in turn.

(Nerevar had written a 'holy text' lingering on the subject of loss, the fear of it, and the absolute necessity of enjoying your loved ones as much as possible - for one day, it finished, you may lose them. They were eternal, the people were not.)

"As do I," she replied, relaxing as Nerevar's arms slipped around her. "On the worst days, I simply hunker down and...wait for the feeling to pass."

"Is that why you've hidden yourself from us?"

"You've both been busy today, and it's not as if I can't tend things in relative solitude. We've no guests, and..." she paused slightly at the feel of a kiss in her hair. "...I wish not to burden either of you."

"If there is anything I regret," Nerevar said suddenly, "It is that Voryn got to be the one to deal with Azura. She has been a blight on all of us...whispering poison in our ears, telling us we are nothing without her. Blaming us for every failure in her plan."

"I think I was the main cause of that first failure," Sadara gave a slight laugh. "When I drank that brandy, and..."

"And kissed Voryn. You did what I never had the courage to do."

"Courage had nothing to do with it. I was drunk. I was attempting to tell him that you'd always thought about him in a sexual way, and...being drunk, didn't have the words for it. So I kissed him..."

"And once kissed, the dam of our love burst free."

"You seem to take a more romantic view of the...event, but we weren't of a mind to think too much on that at the time. At least, I wasn't. 'Fucking me like a madman not five feet away from the heart' is how I might put it."

"Quite a colorful way to put it, but having watched it, perhaps you're right. But regardless. It was that kiss, that fucking, that has saved Morrowind. At least if Vehk is telling the truth...the tale he wove is a strange one."

"You were spying--filthy mer! And could we not speak of Vivec right now?" Sadara squirmed, and managed to turn herself around. "Talk of quite literally anything else."

There was a pause--and then they both laughed.

But a moment later Nerevar looked down at her upturned face, and pressed a deep kiss to her lips. The second he parted with her for air she said, "You're as eager as Voryn, aren't you?"

"He wasn't the only one to finally have a drink of the 'waters of relief,'" Nerevar said, "More than four thousand years. Surrounded by beauty, yet unable to touch it. He was imprisoned in a desert and I in an ocean. Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink."

"Then drink," Sadara replied--and this time she was the one to kiss him.

There was a growl, and a moment later Nerevar's hands came up, practically tearing at her robe. The next parting had her giving a laugh.

"You and Voryn are determined to ruin my wardrobe, aren't you? At this rate I'll have to go about in a loincloth like he does..."

"That and the golden adornments...ah, how often we both think of it...but Voryn, well...if he had his way we'd both dress that way. Such filthy dreams our lord has..."

"Easy access," Sadara got out after another kiss. "That's all he wants out of our wardrobe--"

By this point Nerevar had backed her against her bed, and a second later was lifting her onto it. When she lifted her skirts there was another growl.

"I know what you want," she whispered, "You want to make sure I'm good and loud so he'll hear us. So he'll catch us."

No answer. Nerevar didn't even bother fully disrobing, choosing instead to lower his armor-leather pants just enough to free his cock.

"Oh, the things Lord Dagoth would do if he caught us..."

It was so easy to get Nerevar going, so very, very easy. All she had to do was show her eagerness, mention Voryn and the prospect of being caught, and her warlike love would be hard as a rock and ready to go.

Again the press of Nerevar's lips, and the feel of his cock against her soaked center.

(She hardly bothered with underwear at this juncture, Nerevar and Voryn both had a habit of being too impatient to pull them off and often resorted to simply tearing them to shreds.)

"Go on," she whispered, too wet to wait any longer, "Either fuck me or--"

Nerevar cut her off with a swift thrust that buried him fully inside her. He gave a gasp against her lips, and a groan when he pulled back to thrust again. She crossed her legs behind him, ensuring he couldn't fully withdraw.

She tugged at the belt of her robe, knowing he would do it himself if she didn't do it for him. His hands moved up instantly, opening and pushing it back, exposing her entirely.

"Nothing beneath this robe," Sadara grinned, "How does that make you feel?"

"And I thought I was the tease of this little group," Nerevar groaned against her neck. "You--"

"Me," she laughed and pulled him into a kiss.

Nerevar's thrusts alone would have been enough to do the job for her--simply the feeling of his rapid movements, being filled and spread, over and over. But it was not his way, to leave a thing well enough alone, to settle. So when his next thrust had her falling back, he reached down to stroke over her clit.

"You want to be heard, don't you?" he turned it on her, pressing down with such precision that Sadara was keening almost instantly. "Oh, you do, you--"

A hard thrust, a press down. A moan echoed from her lips that was absolutely pornographic.

"Let him hear us, all the way in the Heart Chamber," Nerevar's teasing went on, his hand still moving, "The louder you are, the faster he comes, and the sooner my poor needy incarnate gets what she really wants."

"N...Neverar," Sadara groaned, "How many--times--do I have to tell you that--I DO want you? Do I have to scream it for you to finally understand?"

His name was a prayer on her lips, as much as Voryn's was at other times, and every time she called it, it was louder--louder--!

She fell apart beneath him, around him, riding out the heated waves as long as possible before letting the warm afterglow rise to drown her.

"On the bed," she gestured vaguely, "I know you're not done yet."

"Voryn is right. You are a greedy thing."

Really she was, but the tease and denial made this game of theirs more interesting. Some one or other of them was always teasing, taking it in turns so no one felt too much was expected.

"Not greedy, only eager. But if you don't want to silence me, I could simply leave...collect my things, have a bath...and leave you to be satisfied in other ways."

That lit a fire under him. Nerevar moved onto the bed once he'd shed his clothes, and lay back, making sure he was comfortable. His cock stood firmly at attention, and she moved up, kneeling before it (and him, really).

She lavished it with her tongue, caressed the underside of the head, licked a stripe from the base to the tip...and then against a background of soft moans Nerevar was obviously trying to muffle, her hand's movement went unnoticed. He certainly noticed it when she traced the dampened slit of his cunt, though.

"Sadara--"

She didn't usually press for this--he preferred only letting Voryn touch him there. Not out of some shyness, but he did so love to be bred, and that wasn't something she could do.

"I can stop if you want me to," she replied, stroking briefly at his cock, "But I have one of these too, and...I'd like to see that what I know can...help you too."

"I'm sure it can't be very--"

"I can make you scream," she grinned, and gave the most seductive expression she could manage. "And Voryn really WILL hear us. Because what makes him come running faster than hearing you in need?"

"The both of us, but--" Nerevar had one golden arm up and over his eyes now. "Go ahead, you've made me wait long enough as it is."

Sadara smirked, slowly easing two fingers inside that soaked center. "Hot," she said, "And very wet. You're as eager as I am, aren't you?"

Any reply or retort Nerevar might have made was silenced when Sadara lowered her head, took his cock into her mouth completely, and at the same time buried her fingers in his cunt knuckle deep.

All that passed his lips was a strangled moan.

Not so chatty now, are you? she thought.

As big a game as he talked, he was so easy to reduce to this point. It was so easy to touch him in just the right ways and render him functionally mute.

His hand at the back of her head, the sudden grip of his fingers in her hair, and another groan as he started to buck against her head. Sadara went slack, letting him do it, letting him him have the control he so desperately seemed to crave.

Nerevar seemed to be saying something, but Sadara couldn't bring herself to care what it was. The feeling of his cock in her mouth, the slight saltiness of his pre, the stutter in his hips when her fingers pushed deep enough for her thumb to grind over his clit...

...it consumed her.

There was a high-pitched cry, a last buck of Nerevar's hips--and a shudder as his cock pulsed and filled her mouth. She swallowed down his seed quickly, spilling only a drop--a drop she wiped from her lips as she moved back up.

Her smirk was triumphant...until she felt a pair of hands at her waist.

"I see," came the sudden sound of Voryn's strained voice, "That I cannot leave the two of you alone for any amount of time without returning to a scene of utter debauchery."

Nerevar gestured and gave his reply in an airy voice. "You needed further proof after the last few times?"

Voryn's trimmed claws pricked at the soft skin on Sadara's waist, and she pressed back a bit, hoping to get things moving.

"Tell me, which of us did you hear?"

"Nerevar. Why?"

"We had a bit of a bet going..." Sadara glanced up at Nerevar. "And it looks like I won. I wonder if our dear Nerevar will have anything to say to that. Perhaps he'll just remain silent?"

"Perhaps he'll want to punish you for being so smug." The hands at her waist were caressing now, never going very far, but stoking the flames from her last peak. "Will you, Nerevar? Or will we let this little defiance go?"

"I think not." Nerevar lifted Sadara's chin, and gave a smirk of his own. That was his hortator voice, the one she'd ALSO come to love. Voryn had his thunderous tone of mock-anger, and Nerevar had this. "Voryn, I think we need to remind her not to lord things over those above her. To be a graceful winner...or loser, as it were."

He lay back again, and pulled her forward to lay atop him. His arms quickly moved tight around her, leaving her in just the right position to hear his whisper in her ear.

"Now, my dear, it is time for you to serve. Our lord has had a very stressful day, and he requires a means of...relief."

Oh, to be held like this, to be between them. This, this was heaven, and she needed no other. If it was a dream, all she wished was for it never to end.

"Then," she gave in a slightly edged tone, "Stop playing around and let me--"

"Such bossiness from an outlander...this will not stand. Voryn?"

The thrust that came next was completely unexpected, and had her whole body tense from the sudden intrusion and spread. Either that was part of a game the two others had already devised, or Voryn was skipping a few steps first. But then again, he'd never been a patient mer.

Sadara tried to stifle the moan that the movement forced from her throat, but it passed her lips anyway, and left her clenching at Nerevar's shoulders. "Gods..."

Nerevar tutted at her. "How many times do we have to remind you? There is only one god here, and you serve at his pleasure. You're only lucky he's eager to be relieved, or he would have spent time making you fall apart..."

Another thrust, another outcry--and then a steady jarring of her body as Voryn wordlessly started a brutal pace.

She couldn't speak, could barely think. Her pleasure rose in sharp spikes, each time she was stretched and spread around Voryn's cock. There was nothing of coherent thought at this point, only the eager insistent movement of his hips against hers and the ecstasy that followed.

"We're being so good to you," Nerevar said, drawing her into a brief kiss. "Poor, needy thing...do you know what I've noticed?"

"Wh...wh...oh!..."

"That you have all the same little weak points that I do." he smirked once more, and raised her just enough to start nipping love bites into the soft skin of her neck. The moan that followed had him grinning further, and he dragged his tongue over and around the same spots. "Oh, what a discovery..."

"Nerevar--" Voryn groaned and moved down, pressing Sadara down and leaving him face to face with Nerevar.

"What would my lord have of me, hm?"

(Here Sadara found herself, pressed between two men, two men she'd come to love at different points. One cock inside her, another beneath her and weeping pre onto her belly, and she had never felt so well satisfied as she did right then.)

"If you keep calling him your....oh, gods...your lord, you'll just hurry him into...mmm..."

"Oh no, no, no..." Nerevar laughed, and in a suddenly much darker and more alluring tone, added, "If I wanted to do that..."

A momentary stop, a further press--she couldn't exactly see what was going on, but from the sound of it, Nerevar had finally locked lips with Voryn.

The pleasurable movements slowed as her two loves kissed, but didn't stop entirely. But it left her more coherent than the savage pace from earlier.

"And you say what we were doing BEFORE was pure debauchery..." She could think of no more filthy thing that what was happening right now.

How long they stayed like this, none of them would be quite sure. Hands and mouths and teeth and tongues, stroking, caressing, kissing, loving. By the time Sadara felt her second peak approaching she was sure they'd never be able to top this moment. That nothing could ever be as enjoyable, as warm, as satisfying.

The end nearly leaped into her throat on a deep thrust, and she groaned right into Nerevar's ear.

"Harder," Nerevar suddenly demanded, "It was me that drew you in here, but it'll be her that actually screams tonight."

"Please," she called out, "Please, I'm so close..."

"Let her have it, Voryn," Nerevar said, "All of it. Her end, yours..."

And then a thrust that tore a genuine if well pleased scream from Sadara's lips.

"Are we going to let her take any story back to her forsaken outlander home that does not ensure your reputation?"

Closer, and closer still now.

"Or do you not want her every vein to thrum with desire because of you, o god of the mountain?"

Her eyes were clamped shut, so she didn't see which of them grabbed at her breasts, or her waist, or tilted her head to give them better access to her neck.

It didn't matter.

"Go on," she heard Nerevar whisper in her ear, "Come for us. Come for us."

The first wave of orgasm rose, and crashed on a final thrust from Voryn. Flame burst beneath her skin and spread in pure wildfire through the rest of her body--she screamed out her pleasure into the pillow beneath Nerevar's head. Then, finally, she relaxed.

A final thrust, and Voryn was pulsing and spilling inside her.

They lay there like that a minute or two, relaxing, breathing, recovering, really.

Not until they'd separated from one another and come back together--Sadara was kept pressed between them as they all lay down. Exhausted, but replete.

"If this is a dream I pray I never wake."

"No dreams," Voryn said.

"All of it, every bit...is real." Nerevar added that, and joined his free hand with Voryn's, which lay on Sadara's hip. "And we will NEVER be parted again."

#seriously i stayed up way too late writing this #nerevar is nerevar #dagoth ur #nerevarine #indoril nerevar #nerevoryn #nerevarinevoryn #morrowind fanfiction #dagoth ur smut #voryn dagoth #morrowind #fanfiction #tes #tesblr #elder scrolls

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ghostlyferrettarot · 1 month

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•Pick a Picture: 🗝 Why are others curious about you?🐈‍⬛

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) (Open)

🪷If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🪷

🪻Masterlist🪻

🌸Pile 1: Four of wands, Seven of Cups, The Chariot.

Hi pile 1! People are curious about your personal life and activities. In the eyes of others you are seen as someone who has it all, although it may not be the case. People wonder how you do it, how you go through life with such a confidance and ambition; i see that you are a hard working person, you have the eyes on the prize pile 1. You may have perfectionist tendencies and be hard on yourself. The others wonder about your goals and plans, you seem as someone who is a force to be reckon with, al least this is the vibe that others pick up from you. You may be intimidating but this is because you know who you are and you are not afraid to take up space. I pick up a lot of envy from others, so please trust you intuitions when it comes to people; a lot of nossy energy too so probably others want to know about your personal life as well, i pick up a family member who is always on your back trying to get infomation about your life, don't worry about it tho your guides are always you and say to trust your gut feelings first✨️

🌸Pile 2: The empress, the Ace of cups, Three of swords.

Hi pile 2! I see that you've been working on your femenine energy and it shows! People are curious about your energy and aura. There's something so enchanting about you, it's so natural in you and people wonder how you do it. You may be in a glow up journey and this is something that other's notice, you are glowing pile 2!

I see that some people want to imitate your energy, they may be envious of you. Others see you as someone really charismatic and easygoing, you may have people approaching you or growing closer to you really quickly, this may be confusing to you pile 2 but it's because they feel at peace by your energy. I see that some of you may be into esoteric stuff; people also wonder about this aspect of you, about how in touch you feel with yourself, nature and spirit in general. I also see fairys so maybe you work or they would like to work with you.

You have a really beautiful energy pile 2 and you are doing an amazing job!

🌸Pile 3: Queen of cups, Nine of wands, Three of pentacles.

Hi pile 3! I see that you may be someone who is very careful with the people they let in their life. Other's wonder about this, about you in general pile 3, they wonder how they can get to know you and be ypur friend. I am hearing "exclusive" so others probably see you as someone who has a leader type of energy, other's probably look up to you in some way. Maybe you carry a lot of responsabilities pile 3 but you make it seem easy, i just heard Le sserafim song "Easy" haha so that may be important or something that your guides want you to listen. Others see you as someone misterious but those who know your enegy are the privileged ones. I see that you may have a close circle of friends but they are loyal and are the ones that know the real you. Others probably wonder how to be a part of your life too, there's something about you that sparkles a lot of curiosity on others, sometimes this peopleay even project their insecurities in you but don't worry about it, it has nothing to do with you pile 3; you are divinely protected by your guides!

🌸Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated🌸

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elysiumblue · 10 months

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Pick a card - Message from Loki 🐍

Free messages from Loki, the norse deity 😳 (Why does it rhyme lmao) Did this reading because this page is sponsored by Loki. Also this type of reading is what I want to find on the internet sometimes.

As this is a general reading, just take what resonates, and leave the rest behind. Don't force things to fit if it doesn't feel right for you. Also, I use he/him pronouns for Loki. You can just replace it with the pronouns you use for Loki in your mind if you don't use the same pronouns as me for Loki.

👇🏻 Pick a color that you feel drawn to👇🏻

And see what Loki wants to tell you below! 😳

Pile 1

It seems that you're worrying about something, like doubting the possibility of something. These thoughts may be caused by you worrying your own abilities, or think that your ideas make no sense at all. It may be a creative idea that you want to pull off, or just setting up/ making new stuff in general.

Loki is here to tell you to throw your worries away! He wants to remind you to look at the hard work you've put in the past, and to be more appreciative of your abilities. As you're well-prepared, and have the resources for things to happen, it will work out no matter how ridiculous you believe you plan is. He wants you to follow your heart, and tries to look back of the spark that brought up the plans at the first place to cheer yourself up.

Besides the effort you've put into, Loki also wants to tell you that you're super blessed right now. The energy of luck in this pile is insane! I got the Wheel of Fortune and the Fountain (the special card for the Fountain Tarot, it's symbolizes the energy of universe) in your pile! Also, when I tried to get an oracle card for you, a card just flew straight onto the Wheel of Fortune (which never happened for me before 😭), and the card is "New Moon in Sagittarius: Focus on the positive". I take Sagittarius as a sign of good luck, so it's mean good luck on top of good luck for you! The universe is in your favour 😭😭👍🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Loki also wants me to give you some messages of this card from the booklet. Actually the whole page is the summary of this reading so I will just put it here so you can read it 😭 (Publisher please don't sue me)

Pile 2

You probably have some cool ideas in mind and want to make things work. Maybe you just sick of staying in the comfort zone forever, or are not happy with the slow progress of things/ the feeling of being stuck. To make it possible for your plans to work out, you find some help from others or even collaborating with others.

It is very possible that you will succeed, as you are very capable to do so. You may have the perfect skills for doing the job, or amazing skills of collaborating with others, or both. However, Loki wants to warn you that there may be snakes trying to sabotage your work.

I get multiple specific scenarios...

Some of you may have a company or a partner in general to fund your project, but they may not have the same interest as you. You will soon find it out, and be threatened with the loss of financial support.

Some of you may recently find out that one of you partners is actually sus. Some may find it out with your intuition, like you just have a feeling that there's something wrong with that person. Some may find it out when you became drunk with that person, like the person just spilled some suspicious words out when drunk, and it keeps bothering you.

Those that are mentioned are some really specific scenarios that can be used to be confirm your situation, but it doesn't need to fit perfectly in your situation. What Loki wants to say to you is, if you feel that something is very wrong with that person or company, don't be afraid to cut it off. New, better connections will appear and provide more assistance to your project. Even if they don't just show up, you will be able to find some, as people trust your abilities. Things will be fine.

Loki also wants you to forgive those who betrayed you. Being betrayed is a very painful experience, and your pain is valid. However, he doesn't want them to hinder your progress. Those people don't deserve your energy at all, so don't put too much energy in hating them. Instead, put energy in your glorious goals.

Pile 3

Are you doubting yourself hard? Because it's so hard to get cards for your pile 😭 Are you a virgo or libra that has too much brain activities? 😭😭 (You don't have to be these signs.) Yall are thinking too much!

You probably care too much about what people thinks about you. You either always compare yourself to others, or doing too much for others. You have to remember that you matters too! I don't feel like self-esteem is the most valuable issue here. You just think too much. 💀 Ground yourself by prioritising yourself! Put your needs first. Put your plans first. Then you may be too tired to care about others 💀

Loki also sees that your overthinking is slowing down your progress! It seems that you just keep thinking about things, and then find out more things to think about, and then you probably become too tired or too scared to do things. Loki wants you to just fuck it, let the intrusive thoughts win, and do the thing. Nothing will happen when you do nothing. Go follow the temptation, go for that love interest, just do something quick 💀

In the process of actually doing something, you will find out some truth of the things you always worrying about. It may be good or bad, but getting some real information is definitely better than constantly haunted by the thoughts that you have no idea accurate or not.

#pick a card #tarot reading #general tarot reading #lokean #loki deity #Spotify

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hexhomos · 1 year

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What’s the best way to write an unreliable narrator? How can we communicate to the readers that it is an unreliable narrator, without bluntly stating that in the author’s notes? How can we make sure we’re writing the “correct” narrative versus just mischaracterizing someone? What are the biggest mistakes when writing for it and how can we avoid them? Lastly, what do you think makes an unreliable narrative story compelling (or not compelling, depending on your stance)?

This ask has been in my backburner for a good number of months, partly because I think it's a really good (and really difficult to answer!) set of questions. It goes back to the original debate over how to spot or define an unreliable narrator, what difference the medium they exist in makes, what can be taken as authoral intent and what can be written off as the audience's projection, etc. This varies depending on the story. This is all complicated stuff people have written entire books on -a lot of which I have not read, so I'm no particular authority- but I DO happen to frequently enjoy unreliable narrators and tend to gravitate towards them in most stories that appeal to me. I like how they embrace the idea that No Point Of View Is Ever Neutral, that the act of writing itself or telling a story in any way IS choosing a side, a scope, a voice, a point you are trying to make or sentiment you are trying to evoke, and that "neutrality" is a flimsy illusion. In its most literal manifestation, neutrality is just... centrism. Centrism *is* taking a side. It just happens to be the side of pissbabies, most of the time.

The unreliable narrator throws away any pretense of narrative neutrality by way of Existing and hemorrhaging their opinions all over a text. And I think that's compelling, because in many ways they're the MOST honest type of character in fiction. They just also achieve that by lying???? It's that central contradiction which makes them incredibly fucking funny.

So yesterday I stumbled upon these tweets:

And they started marinating in the back of my head. That's sort of the whole thing, right? Its hard to give you a bullet list of "Things To Do When Unreliabling Your Narrators," because that depends on the type of person they are and what, specifically, causes the unreliability. A child who knows less about the world is unreliable in one specific way, an adult who knows too much and has an specific agenda is unreliable in ANOTHER way. They may be completely or partially unaware that the reality they describe is fabricated. They may be fudging the line of fact and fiction to save face, make a point, or convince you of a belief. And the thing is that... you cannot always tell? Sometimes a character is just stupid. Katniss hungergames is famously unreliable for just reading people wrong and having a shit judgement of social interaction; you could also argue that every character is a bit unreliable in that way.

In a lot of cases it takes a second perspective to show how someone's account of an event is flawed. Visual and written media can do this in different ways, and it only expands if you consider things like audiodramas or interactive games. (Consider how viktor's bio presents him as a prince of logic and measurement, whereas his voicelines have a deeply unreasonable guy ranting about his Absolute Truth having to be imposed on everybody, or have it destroy them altogether.) Personally, I can't really think of a way this could be done 'wrong' - it comes down to boring stories vs interesting stories if you truly need me to find examples, but that's a failure of things BEYOND just the unreliability of the narrator. Like structure, pacing, clarity of message, that kind of stuff. The only way I believe you can ever 'fail' at doing one is if you, as an author, notice that details you WANTED readers to take from your story are not at all present on readings of your text.

And even that is hard to quantify! People will misinterpret texts even at their simplest level, like ~'American Psycho Is not about a mass murderer, the murders never happened (despite them being described or shown in detail) that was just all in his head!' is an actual argument you will find on the internet. At a certain point you can't take responsibility for those who don't get it, or you'll never write anything out of fear. I DO think that fandoms tend to make that conversation a lot harder and run with most things at face value, and I worry about that a lot, so I plaster my stuff with context tags. Not everyone may enjoy this, but it makes me feel less insane when putting stuff online and fearing that.. it won't be properly questioned.

TL;DR - Find what makes your narrator unreliable. Exacerbate it when writing their point of view. What things do they emphasize? What things do they hide, through incompetence or omission? Why? What contradictions can be found in the things they say VS what they *actually* do? The biggest mistake any author can do IMO is to make shit boring. Aside from that, I think any sufficiently fleshed out character can be compelling, they just need to given a corresponding narrative to excel on.

#hexposts #meta tag #writing resources #resources #long post

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seek--rest · 23 days

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20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

Thanks for the tag @fieldsofview!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

317

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

3,572,407

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Marvel 99% of the time. I’ve dabbled in a handful of others (drukkari, first kill, pjo) but marvel and specifically spider-man is my fav

4. top five fics by kudos:

Through a Glass Darkly with @blondsak

5 Times Peter Didn’t Need Tony’s Help with @blondsak

Flying High with @blondsak

every new beginning (comes from some other beginnings end) with @blondsak

the universe is not against you by @promiseofthepremise

5. do you respond to comments?

Always!

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk if I could choose just one— not to sound like an ass but I’ve written over 300 fics, i could probably name each by year.

That being said, as strong as you were (tender you go) is pretty bleak.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again cannot choose for myself but EYE love the ending for Best Kept Secret

8. do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes! Usually from irondad complainers cause bitches lack nuance but most of the “hate” I get is from anons with a misplaced god complex or bitchy middle aged women talking shit in discords about how much they disagree with my opinions.

Sure wish the crowd that preaches “don’t like don’t read” would follow their own advice! Then again, these people are usually the same that project their daddy issues onto Peter & Tony and are implicitly, if not explicitly, racist and sexist as shit so.

9. do you write smut?

Yep!

10. craziest crossover:

When May Met Sally, a Sally Jackson POV of the pjo events set in the MCU!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

YES lmfao several times. In a way it’s a compliment because damn you’re really that uncreative you gotta steal from someone else?? Skill issue

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! Very flattering

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

MANY TIMES

14. all time favorite ship?

PETER AND MJ

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

If the fic is up, I’ll finish it. If I ever think I won’t, I just delete

16. what are your writing strengths?

Making characters feel real beyond the page. Giving life to sidelined characters. Earning the love story and relationships, not just telling or playing on expectation.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Comedy. I don’t really think I’m a funny writer. Quippy enough for spidey comebacks but a humor type of fic isn’t my bag

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If it works and makes sense!

19. first fandom you wrote in?

Marvel!

20. favorite fic you've written?

Anyone on the highlight reel though currently, my fic on Skip is special to me.

Tagging: @abcd-em @missamyshay @the--journeys @weezly14 @momentofmemory @shizuoi @dayas @usaigi @yellowocaballero

#seek speaks #irondad #spideychelle #petermj #petermjane

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jmdbjk · 1 year

Text

Quality anon time:

Addressing a few anons in my inbox:

Anon: “It's really sad that you're a jikooker but you use the same narrative of taekookers, saying that only jimin mentions jungkook. Why you didn't say that also jungkook mentions jimin sometimes?”

Me: Okay anon... Jungkook mentions Jimin sometimes. Happy now?

If you don’t know by now where I stand on all this you should just keep scrolling past my blog. I would say, “you obviously never read anything I’ve said” but in your same ask you say “long post to justify the fact that Jungkook never supported jimin in this solo era” so I know you read THIS particular “long post”. Go read some more of my past posts to see where I stand on your incorrect take of what I wrote. But you seem like the type of person who thrives on drama, searches it out, reads things that you don’t agree with, just so you can seethe and unload all of your negative petty judgemental energy on someone you don’t know. The internet and anonymous make that easy for you.

Anon: “Don't you dare to compare tae with jimin...Don't try to minimize Jimin's relationship with Jk only because you want to defend your precious Tae.”

Me: another ignorant person who hasn’t read anything I’ve ever said. ...instructing me to stop spreading a narrative that jikook and taekook are the same kind of relationship. [insert loud laughing rolling on the floor...ROFL] This person also states they are not a jikooker or Tae anti...and goes on to say “Taehyung started mentioning Jk's name all the time unprovoked only during this solo era, ...His purpose is clear even if you close your eyes.”

Which makes me want to elaborate: A few people are very angry with Tae and believe he has an “agenda.” I don’t have an explanation as to why he mentions Jungkook. Last time was because they were gaming with some of Tae’s other friends. We don’t know what Tae’s real motivation is. Maybe Tae really wishes JK would do a live with him? And they DID manage to do that Instagram live for a few minutes...

But to me, they just don’t have the same chemistry as Jimin and Jungkook. The insta live very much gave me this vibe:

I don’t know what else you want me to say that I’ve not said before. They are doing a pretty good job by themselves dispelling any thought that Tae and Jungkook’s chemistry (awkward?) is the same as Jimin and Jungkook (chemistry through the roof).

And Tae IS precious because he is one of the seven members. He’s not my bias, though...that’s for sure. But I will give his restaurant show they filmed in Mexico a chance when it airs.

Anon: JK was drinking heavily for two days in a row... His home looks like a bachelor pad. He seems down & depressed & even said he's not motivated to do anything. How is this not concerning & taken lightly? I'm worried about JK & JM seems worried too & I think that's why JM came live to tell him to stop, cause it is very concerning seeing JK like that.

Me: I do not consider 3 or 4 beers "heavy" drinking. But if you, personally, or if you are from a culture that doesn't normally consume alcohol, you may think that is a lot. Having a few beers everyday is very common where I'm from.

About JK staying at home for days and days: Jin once said: “resting is not putting meaning into time spent for self-improvement... those days when you’ve done absolutely nothing, that people might look at you and say, ‘You wasted your day away.’ That’s the kind of living that gives me rest.” Obviously Jungkookie agrees.

Jungkook didn’t seem sad to me. He was singing for us as usual on the first day and then on the second day went on about with getting his mukbang ready and his Netflix going. If you thought he seemed sad, you were projecting your own emotions on to him. Fun fact: There is a contestant in the show he was watching that he has met in person...the MMA champion guy who is older than most of the other contestants.

And yeah... in my opinion, THAT apartment is not his HOME. It looks like an alternate place to me, but you are entitled to your opinion too. That clothing rack... if you live there and that’s your home, why would you keep a rolling rack of empty hangers in front of the main bedroom door?

Why am I not concerned about Jungkook? because I'm not projecting imaginary emotional drama on him and I'm not an alarmist. There is no crisis. I employ critical thinking within the context of everything I know about Jungkook, Jimin and what they've shown us all these years. I am pretty tuned in to what their personalities are like. Neither of them have given me any reason to be concerned.

Jimin was laughing in his comments. “ㅋ” by itself in Korean slang means “LOL”. So ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ would be LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL... Jimin didn’t come into the live to tell Jungkook to stop. He came because he saw the Weverse notice that his Kookie-pookie was doing a live broadcast and spending time with Army again and Jimin was having to work. He was laughing because he knew his Kookie was going to do whatever the hell he wanted as in fuck a rule of no drinking during a live.

The severity of tunnel vision some of you have is incredible. Many of y’all need to lift your heads up from those fanfics, edited video clips and elaborately concocted narratives based on nothing and look around at real life for a little while... like make a friend or two or have a real life relationship involving real emotions and sex. It’ll make a big difference in how you view the world.

And since I have a habit of letting asks sit in my inbox to marinate with time (read: wait for Miss Karma to show up as usual) these Anons just look like a bunch of mouthy assholes now.

But I don’t want this post to just be a big downer... here are some Anons who are genuinely nice and have interesting thoughts and questions:

Anon: Not a question but a statement: “If only people would translate without agenda.”

Me: I KNOW RIGHT? Just like fake emotional drama anon above... people insert their own interpretations into translations. Then are quick to defend themselves stubbornly without being open minded to realize there are other ways to interpret what is being said. It’s important to look at several trusted non-biased translators. Native Koreans are who I trust. And yes, google translate can also clarify some things but you should not depend solely on that to understand what is being said.

Anon: “...was there any instances where Jungkook made sure people understood that his relationship with Jimin is different than his relationship with the other members?”

Me: Jungkook differentiates his relationship with Jimin from the others all the time, except it is usually not intentional. It is a subconscious natural reaction. Watch him and you will see it. I think that people who cannot see it just are not tuned in to such things or refuse to believe that Jimin means a lot to Jungkook.

Depending on what your relationship is with someone, you will subconsciously seek out physical contact with them. You will want to be closer to them, whether sitting or standing. Even within your closest circle, if you have one you are even closer to, you will tend to act differently with them than you do with the other friends...even during work...

Anon: “Why should anyone, now or later be concerned with Jungkook stopping his work? ...Fans are so dramatic.”

Good question, Anon...you certainly won’t find much concern from me until he gives me reason to be concerned and so far, I’m not concerned. And yes, fans are so dramatic in every sense. Jungkook already told us last year he had nothing going on. So why is it a surprise to some to see Jungkook emerging from being a hermit when he already told us he had nothing going on? He said he was going to get back into shape by getting back to eating right and look at him working out!

Anon: “...why Jungkook is not denouncing tkk?...why not stop some of the other rumors ?”

Maybe you should ask Jungkook yourself because he’s not answering my texts.

#another long post sorry asshole anon to make you have to read so much #jimin and jungkook are fine #jikook #jimin #jungkook #dammit JK! answer my texts!#quality anon time

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