#and why do i have a feeling boba gonna be more of a villain now :(

[david-talks-sw]

Do you think the Star Wars universe could handle a story with gray morality, where good and evil aren't easily defined?

If the story doesn't have Force users?

Easily.

Solo, Book of Boba Fett, Rogue One, these are all stories where I think there was an opportunity to really make the characters morally "gray".

If you want my opinion, in Solo & Fett, they barely scratched the surface. In Rogue One, they explored it with Cassian Andor, but also offset it by changing Jyn Erso from this kick-ass rebel into this starry-eyed girl who says "hope" every other scene.

But in each of the above-mentioned movies, there's a danger about it not feeling like Star Wars anymore.

Solo is "Star Wars meets the heist subgenre",

Fett might've been "Star Wars meets the crime show subgenre",

Rogue One is "Star Wars meets the war movie subgenre".

So it's Star Wars... with something else that - some would argue - dilutes it. At it's core, Star Wars is fundamentally about Good vs Evil. As a result, these various genres are never explored quite to my personal satisfaction.

I'm part of the crowd that thinks the Star Wars movie franchise should expand it's genres exponentially.

I wanna see a romcom that starts in the Jedi Temple and ends with a passionate speech in Cloud City,

I wanna see a buddy-cop movie between Quinlan Vos and Vilmar Grarhk/Mace and Anakin/Yoda and Maz Kanata,

I wanna see a horror film where the monster is a Sith Lord,

I wanna see a zombie movie with Doctor Evazan as the mastermind villain,

a detective noir film set between Ep. 1 and Ep. 2 featuring Rael Averross investigating the disappearance of some Kaleesh warlord and eventually finding out about Dooku's turn to the Dark Side

and a slice-of-life comedy about the entire disaster lineage. Seriously I just need this whole thread to be canon.

But I'm not holding my breath because I know that there'd be a big chunk of people who'd go "this doesn't feel like Star Wars" and "you're hurting the brand".

It's why George Lucas & Seth Green's Star Wars Detours was cancelled.

It's why Lord and Miller left Solo.

The brand can't change too much, apparently. As cheesy as it is, it has to be about Good vs Evil, it has to be about hope, etc.

So it gets relegated to other mediums. Qira and the Crimson Reign comic come to mind. She’s awesome, the whole Crimson Reign series is amazing... but I don’t think we’re gonna see anything like that in a movie.

If the story does have Force users?

On the one hand...

I think we already got it, and it's the majority of the Star Wars fandom who just couldn't handle it.

The Jedi in the Clone War are caught between a rock and a hard place. There's no morally right choices, there's only "less morally wrong" choices. They've been drafted into a war where they have to choose between the minor of two evils every day.

They're usually the guys who'll be the closest thing to perfection, but now they're gradually being sullied by the Republic's exploitation of their own compassion and sense of duty. Every morally right choice they make also comes with a morally wrong consequence stuck to it. The more they fight, the more these servants of the Light Side make the Dark Side stronger... but if they don't fight, the Dark Side gets stronger even more rapidly. And they can't help it because, again, they're being forced to do this. So all they can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best.

They're not the villains, but they're sure as hell not perfect. There's a nuance there.

But a very, very large part of the audience reacted to this as "the Jedi were evil hypocrites who sent child soldiers/slaves to their deaths and had Order 66 coming!"

On the other hand...

If you mean a story with "gray" morality in which the Force-sensitive characters themselves are "gray"... I dunno.

The way the Force works is that if you are "gray", you won't stay that way for long. At some point you either choose the Light or (much likelier) fall to the Dark Side.

In Legends, we've had Quinlan Vos and Cade Skywalker's stories echoing this.

These are both stories with morally "grey" protagonists who vacillate between the Light Side and the Dark Side, who use the Dark Side as a tool and think they can get away with it only to get dragged deeper down by it... but both stories end with the protagonist choosing the Light Side.

So those might be what you're looking for?

But the morality in those stories isn't gray, there's a very clear definition of what's good and what's evil... it's just the protagonist who is gray and their journey is about finally choosing and fully embracing the side of good.

Still, both Quin and Cade's stories are goddamn masterpieces.

For more info on "Gray Jedi", I talk more about it here.

In Canon, we have Bendu whose morals are very evidently “gray”... but he’s so neutral and passive that I don’t think you can center a story around him.

But yeah, beyond that... I don't know.

I don't think so, I'll tell you that. When a Force user is involved, I think that that's when Star Wars should be about good vs evil.

#rambled again #long post #my bad #QnA #meta

[elvesofnoldor]

LUKE SKYWALKER?!

#i SCREAMED #the mandalorian s3 finale went off with this one. i didnt think they would have cgj rotj luke in this show #the x wing makes u think it might be new republic pilot. the black cloaked figure makes u think it might be ahsoka #BUT THEN THE LIGHTSABER IS GREEN???? and then i knew #i was never as excited as i am today to see rotj luke #then din's emotional send off to his child.....god....bro.....im dead #wait if gorgu is with luke at his new temple does it mean he met kylo r*n? .__. #gorgu didnt survive one massacre just to go through another one decades later wtf #i think i expected gorgu to be in luke's jedi temple as early as s1. might have talked abt it on here #well. the premonition that be then lmao #also i was so emotional i stayed to listen to the credits and saw an after credit scene with boba fett #(do these episodes always have after credit scenes??? i hope not cause this is my first time watching one) #and why do i have a feeling boba gonna be more of a villain now :( #mae overshares #not to break...weeks long (month long) silence to just cry abt the mandalorian s3 finale but i guess im doing it #it's s2 finale but whatever. im too lazy to change the tag

[thewriterowl]

Miss owl, can I ask your opinion on the sequel trilogy?

"Unfortunately" I am one of those people who hated it.

But I don't judge, although I keep wondering how they managed to ruin something that was so beautiful.

I'm not sure where they're going, I mean The Mandalorian was spectacular but The Book of Boba Fett is letting me down a bit.

I'm seriously scared for the Obi Wan series, I think it's either going to be spectacular or it'll suck, with no middle ground.

My expectations are very high, I want them to explore Obi Wan's pain and the consequences that the collapse of the republic and Anakin's betrayal have had on him.

Above all, his main mission is to protect Luke so I hope to see that too.

I am...torn. Honestly.

I think the Force Awakens could've been a lot better (needed more Luke and the OG-Trio) but I honestly really enjoyed it. I thought Kylo Ren was interesting as this guy who had everything but turned out poisoned, that Rey was amazing and how she had nothing but turned out so good, that Finn was sweet and had such growth, that Poe was funny and bright and so talented, and that the chemistry between all felt really good and could grow into something great.

But the decision to change who Luke is, all to give an excuse to Kylo was where, I felt everything began to shift negatively. They wanted to make Kylo into a brooding anti-hero who needed a woman to forgive him to heal. They made Rey his redemption. All of a sudden, in the Last Jedi, the story was taken from Rey (and it even felt the story itself was taken from Luke and Anakin) and given to Kylo. They wanted him to become Star Wars' face and, by god, they were gonna shoehorn him in to make him appealing in anyway possible...and to do that, they had to erase everything they worked up to in Force Awakens.

Almost all the weak writing scenes that had to do with other characters could be tied back to this desperation to put Kylo in the forefront and put him intertwined with Rey as a love-interest. The Canto Bight, the random non-Ezra guy who never appeared again, the guy they were there to actually get, the animals, Luke's choices and his bitterness and willingness to kill, Rey's fawning and all of a sudden ease in the ability to turn soft when she was feral beforehand, Leia's movements, the resistances, the side-quests of Poe....it all comes back to this need to change everyone to build Kylo up.

Push Finn with Rose means he becomes a side character who now has a love-interest (and while I do think there is some layer of homophobia and racism, for sure, I also believe it was mainly cause people in charge were so horny for sad white-boy Kylo as a specific reason that was brought through by the horrendous issues the set had towards their POC cast) and is no longer in the way of Kylo's and Rey's affection. Get Poe looking like an idiot who is a playboy and he can just be a not-as-important-Han wannabe. Make Leia just do something sorta cool in space, but mostly just not be there (except for Kylo angst) and we got some girl power...it was like they were trying to check off all the Woke Stuff as limply and quickly as possible to get back to Kylo.

And it hurt them. We didn't get anything that was built up. We were just torn down because they wanted Kylo to sell so desperately.

It's one of the reasons I don't like Kylo Ren and it is for a very meta reason. I'm fine with bastard characters. I'm fine with villains. I'm fine with the idea that we take this spoiled kid who had love and turned terrible and maybe not get a redeeming arc. I'm fine with that. It's actually really interesting to make him more like that, this layered character who was tempted into hate when he had everything, than what they made him out to be.

That is why I have more faith in these shows.

I admit, Book of Boba has some pretty weak writing moments. There are choices that are lackluster and some choppy movements. But I feel like, overall, the show is giving us a shift and focus of Boba. This is about giving Boba to Temura. It's about giving him more character...but not necessarily redeeming him for the audience (cause he sorta didn't need it; he was on the villain side but he was always a gray character doing things for himself) but about him growing for himself. And I love that. I feel that we are going to have a decent show as a whole once it all comes together. Yeah, probably not the strongest of the SW shows, but it is by no means bad in terms of character damnation like the sequels are. Book of Boba may not be the hottest series, but it is not going to ruin Boba's character (knock on wood).

And I think the same for Obi-Wan. Do i hope it is a destroyer of worlds, knocks us back, hits us in the feels, lets us see more of Obi-Wan like we want him? You bet I do. But i am aware that it may not be amazing. But I feel confident that while the show may not be brilliant, they are gonna do the character right.

We can say all we want about those at the top of LucasFilm and Disney (and it should be said and they should be ripped into) but while they have their own weaknesses and problematic tendencies, Jon and Dave have shown their writing and guidance and respect of the characters in Star Wars (and for the fans) are loads better than others who were in charge during the sequels. They actually listened and they actually love Star Wars and these characters. So, I can see them slip on a story-line, yes, I cannot see them slipping on the characters.

Cause at the moment for these shows, Jon and Dave are involved. To me, it feels like they don't trust others to touch these projects. are they gonna make bad choices on writers and directors? Yeah, sadly, that will be the case from time to time, especially as they really get these SW-series rolling, but I feel like they are making themselves aware of the fans and are aware of what is wanted and they are keeping a close eye on the characters (and maybe at times that will make them blind to other weaknesses...but man, if I don't get another Luke fiasco I can forgive them for some story slip-ups...tho still peeved on the Tusken-choice).

So, that was a bit long...and I don't want to elevate Jon and Dave too much because, again, they have problems...but I do, still, have more trust in them and how they are overseeing the series than I do with anyone who was really involved and had control over the sequels.

#owl inbox #sequel trilogy #star wars #my thoughts

[totallyclevertitlehere]

I’m optimistic after ‘The Mandalorian’ S2 Finale

I’m honestly surprised by this strain in fandom that’s depressed that “The Mandalorian has fundamentally changed” or “this is the end of Din’s arc“ or “we won’t see Grogu again.” Or people thinking the Book of Boba is going to replace Din/Grogu’s story?

Uh...no. Emphatically no! The season finale set up some pretty neat plot lines that all converge on Grogu and Din being both the focus of the show, and eventually being reunited.

The following things personally make me quite optimistic.

Let’s not forget who is actually ‘The Mandalorian’

It’s not between Din or Boba.

Din Djarin and Grogu are the titular character(s). Grogu is just as much ‘the Mandalorian’ as we’ve seen it defined by The Children of the Watch as Din is - he’s a foundling equally as he is a potential Jedi.

So let’s dispel with the notion that anything is happening to Grogu. He ain’t getting offed by Kyle Ron. He’s not disappearing from the show. Grogu is Disney and Star Wars most valuable intellectual property right now. He represents a species that lives for millennia and is a magic user who is portrayed by a puppet and whose image Disney/SW can milk for years to come without needing to pay actors, worry about aging out of stories, or ANY of the traditional challenges that come with live action. I saw on Twitter a comment that ‘well, Disney didn’t expect Grogu to so popular so they didn’t intend to have him stick around.” lol whut. Werner Herzog was obsessed with Grogu. Literally everyone who interacted with The Child fell in love. Disney/Favreau & Filoni know exactly what they’re doing and are planning on banking on Grogu’s marketability for years to come.

Grogu’s Training

Why did Grogu go with Luke? Two reasons.

Within the narrative, we can see Grogu feel/be awed by Luke’s presence in the force and his skill in saving their lives. The camera lingers on him feeling Luke’s presence multiple times. That’s purposeful! By showing us that, Favreau and Filoni are signaling why Grogu chooses to leave - he knows that he needs to become stronger so he can protect his Dad!

On a meta level, F/F knows pairing him with Luke gives us a direct connection to Yoda, the Temple, Grogu’s past - it’s a chance to give backstory. Not to mention it certainly seems like R2 knows Grogu! I predict we’ll get to see a montage of Luke training Grogu as a call out to ESB/RoTJ, and we’ll learn about what actually happened the night the Temple was attacked.

Now, I don’t think they’ll make Luke stick around for too long/many scenes, but with R2 there is a natural vehicle to explore Grogu’s past. I think with Grogu learning to better use his abilities, we’ll see an inverse of this season, with Grogu coming to Din’s rescue at some point.

Din Djarin is Mand’alor, and Bo-Katan is Not Happy

Din Djarin’s arc is over? lol

Din Djarin’s arc is only just beginning. Now, Din has to come to terms with what it means to be Mandalorian - in every sense. He’s given up his foundling, but he’s not alone - there’s a room full of people who have seen his face, which goes against his code but not others. He’s Mand’alor, but he has no idea what that means.

Unfortunately for him, he’s about to face questions from every side about who a true Mandalorian is (as foreshadowed by the dialogue between Boba and Bo-Katan). AND he’s going to have to deal with two antagonists: Gideon and Bo-Katan.

Bo-Katan is a mess; she’s supposed to be. She was a villain the majority of her time in The Clone Wars. She’s at best been an anti-hero. Rebels was the only show she was shown to be more explicitly on the side of the heroes, but a driving force of her character has consistently been her own selfish views of Mandalore and her role within it. And next season, she’s going to be a driving antagonist for Din.

But where I think this all leads is that Din is going to come to terms with claiming the Darksaber - not to be Mand’alor, but to break the tradition of the sword by ultimately gifting it to his son, Grogu (which would parallel Jango giving Boba his armor).

Basically, Grogu’s gonna be the second Mandalorian Jedi and wield the Darksaber to protect his Dad, the Mand’alor.

Gideon, Pershing, and Cloning

I don’t think it’s accidental that Bo-Katan explicitly linked Boba to his clone lineage in the finale. Meanwhile, we also see Imperials explain that Pershing is a “high value” target of the New Republic. With both Gideon and Pershing alive, the exact nature of the experimentation on Grogu and to what end is a story line that reunites both Din and Grogu’s paths.

In fact, both potential plot lines (the nature of the cloning experiments and the Rulership of Mandalore) also potentially converge with the other announced shows Ahsoka and Rangers of the New Republic, which falls in line with what was reported at Investor Day that the finale of S3 would be a major cross-over event. (Ahsoka is connected to both Clones and Mandalore, and the New Republic is probably super interested in what’s happening with cloning and also probably gonna be a bit surprised when Bo-Katan decides to start flexing her small fleet of IMPERIAL SHIPS).

Why did the finale have to be so bittersweet?

For the same reason Aang died in the Crystal Catacombs and the S2 finale of Avatar: The Last Airbender ended with the line “The Earth Kingdom has fallen.” Because it sets up the central character conflicts for the next season.

Yes, it’s so bittersweet how Din and Grogu are apart. But Din said himself - they’ll see each other again! This is a necessary step to give both characters space to grow more before reuniting them. It seems clear everyone working on the show knows how central that relationship is to it. They aren’t scrapping that next season.

so tl;dr Grogu and Din aren’t going anywhere, and they’ll be reunited soon. Keep the faith, may the force be with you!

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian finale #grogu #din djarin #star wars #star wars theories

[fanfoolishness]

Mando Liveblog 2x06

Live-blogging continues with 2x06, The Tragedy!

Amazing how this episode was just 5 minutes long of Din and Grogu on the Razor Crest together. A bold narrative choice, but an excellent one. And absolutely nothing bad happened to any of them!

Oh fuck Moff Gideon with a rusty spork, honestly, dude needs to BACK THE HELL OFF

Pedro. Please. STOP HURTING MY HEART WITH ALL THIS GENTLE HAPPINESS.

That little *sigh”

Seriously. I’m DYING.

Just... Din’s excited-happy-proud “dank farrik!”, his quick reassurance to Grogu, his careful explanations of the Jedi... his own self-justification for why this is right and he has to do it no matter how much he doesn’t want to....

*rewinds* *watches scene again* seriously, I get stuck doing this like 6 times each time I try to watch this episode.

I just... I adore so much how Din’s body language opens up, widens, becomes so much more expressive around Grogu than anyone else.

But when Din starts talking about how he can’t train Grogu, he turns away.

Grogu loves pulling Gs with Dad <3 Watch the way he mirrors Din as the ship turns.

Din’s Phoenix landing was pretty good there! He’s figuring it out.

Poor Din. What the fuck is a Jedi, amirite?

“Okay, here we go...”. Now that is a man full of trepidation right there

Grogu and the butterfly <3

Ahhhh Boba why couldn’t you have shown up like 2 minutes earlier or something and made Din not put Grogu on the stone yet? So not fair

Dammmmmit

I love whatever the fuck Boba’s instrument/theme is. Whole track for the fight scene is called “Capture the Flag” and it’s an insane bop

Asking if Boba Fett is a Jedi is still so hilariously wrong and I love it

Oh my god you two just knock it off already

“Fennec????” Din under the helmet is just sooooo confused

Still kinda silly that they put the jetpack down. I mean I get it for story reasons. But I’ll just have to headcanon that Din’s still not feeling like the Rising Phoenix is part of him the way the rest of his armor is — and that’s why he didn’t automatically grab it when the Empire showed up.

Ouch, Din — that fall looked like it hurt :(

FUCK OFF EMPIRE

I need to find this location. I know it’s not far from where I live....

Boba and his gaffi stick about to FUCK SHIT UP

That SNARL on his face is so fucking good!!!

It’s a shame he used to only fight in his helmet because just think how scared you would have been to see THAT coming at you

Run Fennec run!!! God I love her coat. I want it just to have, not even as part of a costume.

You notice Din didn’t actually say if they had a deal or not... Boba just went for it. Possibly one reason why he felt like he REALLY needed to make it up to Din

Also fuck has Din been concussed this whole time????

Hell. He really has. Why did I not notice this whump????

If only Din had stayed up on the plateau ;_; so unfair

Then again, it still would have been the safest option for Grogu to stay up there, rather than Din trying to run down the hill with the kid in his arms and attempting to avoid Grogu getting blasted.

Fuck. Them. UP BOBA!!!!!

That’s RIGHT y’all better fucking run!

Lol at the one that barely makes it back inside the ship before it takes off

Cool simple men making their way through the galaxy don’t look at explosions

RAZOR CREST NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I’m still not fucking okay

By this point they’re probably on the other side of the hill from the Rising Phoenix. But god it’s just so unfair

I guess if they’d gotten up there, though, they just straight up would have died. Like, 4 dark troopers? 1 Mando and 1 Fennec? They’d be dead

That last little image of Grogu’s face through Din’s helmet ;_;

But I still wish we’d have gotten to see Din pushing the Phoenix to its limit after the Darktroopers and them just plain being faster than him :(

Din, why didn’t you LEAD with “THEY STOLE MY KID”???

Oh Grogu :( :( :( there is so much fear in you! So much anger! Sweet child :(

Gideon, go fuck yourself with the shiny end of the Darksaber. I’m just gonna hate this motherfucker forever. Sometimes I love a conflicted villain, but in this case, I’m glad they’re not even bothering to give him 3 dimensions. Gideon’s just a fuck.

GROGU MY SON ;_;

RAZOR CREST MY BELOVED

Like... what if Din had just been stuck on Tython? What would he have even done? Hunted wildlife? Hoped a ship would come some day? Weird sad thought.

Again, this episode is UNFAIR!

#the mandalorian #din djarin #grogu #boba fett #fennec shand #Star Wars #my mando meta #the mandalorian liveblog

[benisasoftboi]

In Which I Explain The Entirety of Star Wars, Despite Being Very Much Unqualified To Do So

I have only seen one Star Wars movie - it was The Last Jedi. I saw it, with no context, two years ago in theatres when it first came out. I was very surprised to find out that it made a lot of people very angry, because I quite liked it, as did the friends I saw it with. I can’t say I remember much though.

All the rest of my Star Wars knowledge comes from its generally inescapable nature in the pop cultural zeitgeist. I might have seen a bit of Episode 6, which I don’t know the name of, when I was round a friend’s house once, but I was very tired, and it was about a decade ago anyway.

That’s just some context for my lack of qualifications to do this. My friend said I should still do it anyway. I will not be looking anything up as I write this, so all spelling mistakes and other general errors are mine. 

So anyway - The Entirety of Star Wars:

Original Trilogy 

There is a guy called Luke. He is played by Mark Hamill and he is George Lucas’s self insert. He lives on a planet where there is only sand, because in this universe all planets have only one terrain, I think. He drinks milk. The milk might be blue.

A guy played by Liam Neeson finds Luke. I think this guy’s name is probably Obi Wan Kenobi, but I might have that wrong. At some point he will die tragically and it will be formative for Luke, but then he will also come back as a ghost. Ghosts exist in this universe. 

Possibly Luke has known this guy for a long time or possibly he is a stranger, I am not sure. Somehow they end up on a spaceship.

Luke needs to learn how to use magic powers called the Force, which seems to be mostly telekinesis, and also lets him use a really fancy but probably impractical sword called a lightsaber that shoots blue or sometimes green or sometimes red light. This is called Jedi training. Jedi Knight is a religion. You can claim to be one on the census in the real world. They seem to be really serious people despite having a silly name.

Everyone also has guns that go ‘pew pew pew’ and nerds get really mad when you make fun of that.

Luke will meet many colourful and interesting people on his journey. These include:

A woman played by Carrie Fisher who is also his twin sister but he doesn’t know that until after they kiss. Her name is Leia or maybe Laia. She has silly hair. At one point she wears a slave bikini because she’s enslaved to a gelatinous blob because that’s just how it goes when you’re the woman in a 70s sci-fi movie

A guy called Han Solo because he is Edgy and Does Things Solo. He and Leia have a romance and it’s Drama. He also has a spaceship that people will build very impressive lego replicas of. He dresses like a cowboy. I’m 90% that he is played by Harrison Ford

A bunch of walking teddy bears called Ewoks who can kill you and live in a jungle

A guy called Lando Calrissian who I think wears fancy clothes and that’s all I know about him, he might actually be a villain I’m not sure. He might die?

A little blue robot who hid behind some rocks one time and then in the re-release he hid behind more rocks than before and the fans got Mad

A big gold robot who is nervous and gay and might be gay for the little blue robot, like they might be married but that also might be a meme I’m not certain

A weird green goblin thing called Yoda who makes Luke carry him around and speaks in broken English that annoying people have spent the last thirty years imitating. He dies, but then is a ghost so it doesn’t matter really

A guy called Boba Fett who is a bounty hunter. I genuinely have no clue how he fits in to all of this. He might not actually be from Star Wars, maybe I’m mixing him up with something else. 

Luke is also trying to fight the Evil Darth Vader who works for an Evil CGI Emperor of the Evil Empire. They live on a big spaceship called the Death Star and it looks like a moon but isn’t and people think it’s funny when you point that out for some reason. They are the Dark Side, which makes them easy to root against because they’re just cartoonishly evil I guess. I think they are also bureaucrats. They have Stormtroopers, who might be brainwashed people or might just be robots, or might even be clones. They all wear identical white armour with helmets so people don’t care when they get shot. Kinda like fencers.

Darth Vader is actually Luke’s father and this is a twist except not anymore. This means he is also Leia’s father, I’m not sure if she knew. Also Luke loses his arm. Darth Vader gets redeemed and then dies but also takes down the Evil CGI Emperor with him.

I don’t know what happens in any of the movies, but I know that the first one ends with them getting plans for or from Leia, not sure, the second one has the dad twist, and the third one has ghosts. Also they blow up the Death Star by shooting a garbage chute really hard. 

Prequels

These movies are widely disliked. The first one has too much bureaucracy. They are about Darth Vader’s backstory. He used to be a guy called Anakin. He will Become Evil. He will also meet many colourful characters. They include:

His love interest, who is called Padme. She wears a silly hat and dies of a combination of Childbirth and Sadness. I saw this bit happen one time when I was a kid and I was stuck round my mum’s friend’s house and her son was playing through this part in the LEGO game. It was sad

A guy with a red face whose name might be Maul and has robot legs? 

A guy called Jar Jar Binks who everyone seems to simultaneously hate and feel a desperate need to make sex jokes about 

Angry Jedi People

Probably some robots

Anakin hates sand and is pretty but grumpy. His hatred of sand is what will prevent him from finding Luke in the original movies. He falls in a volcano and gets turned into a robot man and it’s very dramatic. He has an angry red lightsaber. He murders a bunch of children by executing Order 66. Or maybe that was in the first set of movies I don’t know. I’m not sure how they made three of these movies, there doesn’t seem to be much to them.

Also there is something called ‘mitoclorians’ and I don’t know what they are but they make nerds Very Mad.

Expanded Universe

There was an expanded universe, but Disney said it wasn’t canon when they bought the rights, so now it isn’t. If I were a Star Wars fan, I would not take this lying down, because what right does Disney have to say what’s canon? Why is it up to the copyright holders? They are a corporation, not a writer. Expanded universes are always really fun and full of wacky nonsense that would never get put in the mainline stuff. I don’t like it when people try to dismiss them. 

Stand Alone Movies

When the new trilogy started, they also made some stand alone films. They were called Rogue One and Solo. Rogue One is about a woman named Gin or Jinn or Jin or Ginne or - I wish I hadn’t restricted myself to not looking anything up - Urso. The spelling doesn’t matter because she dies. So does everyone else. Then Darth Vader shows up.

Solo is about Han Solo and his friends and they have an adventure and there’s a robot who wants robot rights but she dies so no one has to address the slavery thing. Also apparently it was going to be a comedy but got reshot as a drama. I hope I never watch it because that sounds terrible, even as much as I like Donald Glover who I think is in it probably. I think his character might have been in love with the dead robot.

Sequel Trilogy

These movies are about a girl called Rey. She makes nerds mad by existing and being the protagonist. She is Space British. She is a scavenger and is friends with a really cute little orange robot. Somehow she ends up in space. She starts hanging out with Older Leia’s crew, which include a pilot named Poe Dameron and a guy called Finn, but I don’t know why he’s there. People ship them with each other, and also with Rey. 

The other person people ship Rey with is Kylo Ren, who I call Space Zuko because when I saw The Last Jedi, he showed up and I was like ‘oh, it’s Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender but in space’, because he has bad hair and is angry about his Daddy Issues. I hope in the next movie he gets better hair and fewer Daddy Issues like Real Zuko did. A lot of people get really angry about Rey and Space Zuko being shipped together, but they’re still the most popular ship on AO3. So no matter what happens in the next one, nerds are going to be mad about it, and I am not looking forward to it.

Kylo Ren killed his dad, Han Solo, because he was radicalised to be evil for reasons I don’t know. The guy who runs the New Evil Group, which is called the First Order, is an ugly CGI guy called Snoke. It was apparently a Big Twist that Kylo kills him Last Jedi, and it made nerds really mad. I don’t understand why people were surprised, because when I saw the movie, I saw that guy and was like ‘oh he’s gonna get killed by Space Zuko because that would be Drama and also from a production standpoint having a guy who needs lots of special effects is much more difficult than just having Adam Driver wear a scary mask’ and then I was right so maybe I’m smarter than all the nerds. 

There is also a guy called Hux and he is a ginger. I think he is evil.

The other thing people got really mad about was that Rey’s parents were not established characters. People wanted her dad to be Luke, I think, who is in Last Jedi. I was happy about this because I like Mark Hamill. He spent the movie teaching her about the force while they hang out on an island with a race of merchandising opportunities called Porgs. He dies at the end but he might be in the next one as a ghost anyway. 

Also there was a girl called Rose and people decided that not liking the character meant they could be mean to the actress, which is not true and everyone who was mean to her should be ashamed. There was another woman as well, but I don’t remember her name, she had purple hair and was serious and I have no idea if she was good or evil. 

Kylo Ren’s real name is Ben which is not very sci-fi. Maybe that’s why he changed it.

Though come to think, Luke isn’t a very sci-fi name either. 

Anyway, that’s everything I know about Star Wars.

Feel free to ask me questions about Star Wars and have me try to answer.

Do not, under any circumstances, try to actually explain Star Wars to me. I’m much happier as is, thank you very much

#star wars #long post #misc #long essays about niche topics #luke star wars #leia star wars #oh they have surnames #luke skywalker #leia skywalker #han solo #kylo ren #rey star wars #darth vader #anakin skywalker #yoda #hux star wars #and others #i guess #i dont know #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #is that all the important ones? #poe dameron #finn star wars #last jedi

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 141

Sorry it took a week oof. Not even more content, just the usual lol

Honorable mentions:

Neither John nor Sera got a mango boba drink thing and that makes me sad

John looked so innocent this episode wow

John talking about his motivations for becoming joker cleansed my soul

Sometimes i really like that UnOrdinary doesn’t have any romance because it would take away from the amazing plot, but damn. Sera and John this episode…

Didn’t really write a lot on Sera because she’s just been saying the same stuff on repeat for weeks, just none of the other characters are paying attention to her R.I.P.

“I’ll keep fighting back. Just like you! You don’t have to do it alone anymore!” -Sera. Rip out my heart why don’t ya (or more accurately John’s heart)

Darren cleans UP (his hAIR haha)

But on a more important note, how tf are doc and leilah gonna affect the plot. I’m waiting

And yet again, chronological order

Blyke:

    Blyke has really grown on me lemme say.

    In this episode, Blyke is sad, upset, but most of all, he’s deflated. He’s accepted defeat, he knows that he is weak and will always be. This is such a sad thing to read after that episode of him and Arlo talking about the responsibilities of the king. Then, Blyke was worried he wouldn’t be up to the task. Knowing how he felt before, it’s just really hard to read that what he was worried about happened. It’s even worse to know that he tried to believe Arlo who said that he would be able to do the right thing or conquer the problem if he needed to. Even through his fear, Blyke listened to Arlo and because of that he went after Joker. (this [every] paragraph has bad writing but bear with me)

    Recently, Blyke had become one of my favorite characters. I used to kind of get bored whenever he was involved because whatever he was doing was insignificant, but more than that, it had no feeling. We never knew who Blyke was or how he thought in the past. It’s a shame that we’ve been let into most other character’s heads before Blyke’s and it had caused a lot of fans to kind of neglect him or just not acknowledge his character as much as the other’s. That’s understandable though (because like I said, his character wasn’t really expressed till now). Now that we have been let into Blyke’s head, however, we see his ambitions and his personality. While Blyke always came off as that nonchalant, popular jock, with his new insight, we get to see that he is also insecure about his abilities and scared to have a lot of responsibility put onto him. Just like that, he’s become a person.

    Watching Blyke talk to John this episode was really tough for me because of how much he tried. He promised John that he would take Joker down and he promised Arlo that he would be prepared to stay on top, despite his own internal struggle and worries. Him confronting John about what happened and admitting to both John and himself that he was too weak was so powerful. Blyke’s character has always been about power. I don’t mean that he wants in, but every bit of plot he’s been in, he’s only been included because of the ability he possessed, not really his ideas or personality. Him admitting that he is no longer that person, even if it’s only this small admission to John, must be so difficult for his character because everything he’s been raised to be and everything he’s strived to become has been contradicted. This reminds me of what Arlo and Seraphina went through (mostly Sera). Arlo because of the realization (more of a confirmation in Blyke’s case) that he really isn’t untouchable. Mostly Seraphina because of how he takes it. They both grow sad with the realization that they aren’t enough. Though I’m not too sure if I can compare Seraphina’s and Blyke’s situations because of their different natures. Obviously Blyke didn’t lose his powers. I had a point. Where was I going with this…? (idk)

    That last couple of panels though leave me wondering. Blyke thinks, “Damn it! If only I were stronger!” Is he going to try to get stronger? How is he going to do that? Train? Power enhancement drug? (please).

John:

    You can really tell that what John wants isn’t total control over Wellston. He doesn’t want what he had at New Bostin. He doesn’t want the consequences he know it will likely bring. In this episode, John says, “Besides, I’d rather just spend time like this! Away from the other students and away from all the school’s nonsense.” Those aren’t the sentences of an antagonist who enjoys hurting people or the life he lives. John isn’t the stereotypical bad guy. I am very grateful for that. You know, John used to be my favorite character. I would’ve been kind of disappointed if he was written off as this total ass and irredeemable. Because that’s not who is. He’s a guy trying to do his best for everyone. That’s why he has to fight everyone. Doing so will plant doubt into Arlo’s hierarchy and therefore, hopefully create a world safer for low-tiers. Because I really believe that to be John’s motive now. Though he’s really being portrayed as the villain right now, he’s trying to do what he thinks is best and the only way he can achieve that is by fighting, at least for him, a cripple that nobody would listen to if he just tried to solve his problems with words (without revealing himself because that would create more problems). I don’t know. His situation is really complicated and I love that. It’s realistic, creates great storytelling, and leaves room for more development for his character. Thank you and goodnight.

#episode 141 #UnOrdinary #unordinary webtoon #uruchan #uru-chan #webtoon #john-are-you-okay #official

[pokefan531]

Star Wars Retrospective - Original Trilogy

I'm doing retrospectives of each Star Wars Trilogy. We're starting off with Original Trilogy first. I'll move to Prequels and Sequels.The first thing to ask is how I got into Star Wars or how I know about it. As a pretty young kid, I saw my parents watching Return of the Jedi, but I only saw one or two scenes. I seen involvement between Luke and Vader inside the new Death Star, and I also remember seeing Yoda in Empire Strikes Back, but those are the parts I only saw as a pretty young kid. Years later, I got Star Wars Racer for Windows. I played the game and it was fun. I never saw any Star Wars movies at that time. A year later, I watched Attack of the Clones, but we'll get into that in the Prequels Retrospective. After that I played few games like Galactic Battlegrounds, Rogue Squadron, and GB Star Wars game. I played NES Star Wars on an emulator I found. I knew about Darth Vader's existence, but I never knew about him or most characters. That was until I started playing Lego Star Wars 2: The Original Trilogy. I got the game for Windows a day after my cousin got PSP and Lego Star Wars 2 for his birthday, and I decide to get the game myself. It was a very fun game. It was in November 2007 when we started playing Lego Star Wars. The game is fun, and it's around the time The Complete Saga came out. Until Disney's Star Wars, TCS was the Complete Saga. I didn't read much on the space scroll, so I didn't know a lot about the films besides the gameplay. Weeks after, my cousin brought in Star Wars movies for us to watch. Here are the results:Actually, since I played the lego games, I know how those films would play out, but I don't know all of it since I rarely read the scrolls. Episode 4 was entertaining. I first thought it was pretty adventurous. I was interested of the beginning, since I see stormtroopers shooting the rebels, and Leia putting the death star plans and the message to R2-D2. Seeing both R2 and C-3P0 trapped in Jawa's Sandcrawer got me to know everything about Jawas. I was glad C-3P0 got Owen to buy R2 and they stayed with Luke. I was surprised both of Luke's Uncle and Aunt got founded and killed, and he sees their skeletons. It feels like Luke had no choice, but to do some mission with Obi-Wan. I thought the cantina was a fun place. At times, I thought the props like the automated doors feels a bit wonky, but I knew it was a very old movie, so I didn't mind. I did watch the special editions first, so I saw Han talking to Jabba, and I thought he looked a bit fake. Cutting to the death star adventure, their mission were pretty interesting. The entire scene where they go to the detention level and rescue Leia, I liked how they made it there to rescue Leia, and escaped with her. Obi-Wan fighting with Darth Vader was kinda simplistic, even when I first saw it. With Obi-Wan dying, I found it interesting he can still walk to Luke with the force. Also, I did like how destroying the death star went out. Overall, Episode 4 went pretty well when I first saw it.Around the time, I think Episode 5 and 6 are better. Empire Strikes Back felt very natural and memorable. When I first saw it, I thought it had more depth as a movie. The action and the props got better, and the lines are more memorable. I was happy to see Obi-Wan again, as a ghost. Battle of Hoth was more interesting to watch than to play in Lego Star Wars due to its difficulty. I realized those air space battles have a lot of video game versions. I thought Darth Vader was amazing as a villain. I understand why he is everyone's favorite villain. Luke and Yoda interactions seemed funny. I thought it was interesting on Luke's character because I knew he wouldn't be a great jedi since he has other things in his mind. Obi-Wan did say he's not ready to be trained. As a kid, I never knew about him fighting Darth Vader inside the tree. I didn't really get how Darth Vader was there for few years. I also liked the connections with Han and Leia. The bickering with both of them seems to not be actual bickering that I see on TV shows at the time, and it was interesting because they were helpful and respect each other more as the movie goes on. The entire Bespin scenes have a lot of interesting moments. Han getting frozen got me attached to know how Leia and Chewie feels when he gets frozen in carbonite. As for Boba Fett, I thought he looked cool, but he doesn't do much other than following Darth Vader around. The fight between Luke and Darth Vader looked more interesting than the duel in the first movie. Luke jumps everywhere, using the forces to throw objects, and the interaction between Luke and Darth Vader. I never knew Darth Vader was his father until he admitted it. I could see why Luke freaked out about it, yelling Noooo. Despite seeing the parodies like the Fairly Oddparents parody and Toy Story 2 Zurg scene, I never think he was related to Luke until I watched this movie. That's very interesting even though I saw the parodies first. This movie is the reason why I think it's better than A New Hope, while both being great movies.The last movie of the trilogy is also a good one. As a kid, I thought it has really great connections between Luke and his friends, and even Darth Vader. Boba Fett did more action, and I laughed how he died in Lego Star Wars. I didn't mind Jabba as a kid, nor the freaks in the palace. However, the dancing in the special edition, I could tell it did not look faithful to the rest of the movie, and I think the two aliens were weird. Anyway, the actions on the movie looks pretty interesting. The battle on Jabba's ships, the Scout vehicle on Endor, and the Battle of Endor. I was kinda sad to see Yoda dying, but it was interesting to hear Luke is related with Leia. As a kid and even now, I liked the Ewoks. I never found them annoying. I get why people don't like them, but they never took affect on the movie for me. I laughed when C-3P0 was floating with a chair. As for Luke and Darth Vader, I see their second duel as something special. I think this is my second favorite lightsaber duel of the trilogy because this shows the relations between the two and Luke learning the dark side is not really good. My first favorie is from ESB like many people. My favorite scene of the movie is when the Emperor shocks Luke and Darth Vader decides to do the right thing by throwing him to his death. It's because it shows very redeemable moment Darth Vader has for Luke. Of course, it was pretty sad to see Luke watching Vader dying. The Battle of Endor was my favorite battle because of the end of the empire and seeing the connections with Han and Leia, and Luke and Darth Vader. Back then, I found Admiral Ackbar to be an interesting character, mostly because the way he speaks. At the end, I was waiting to see Ghost Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Yoda because of the games. When I saw Hayden Christansen, I thought to myselfwhen did the movie came out. I knew it came out in 1983, and Episode 3 came in 2005, and wonder how Christansen looked the same, until I learned about the special edition. I know this is the most hated change that George Lucas has made, but I never had anything against Christiansen. Anyway, I liked the entire ending and showing the universe celebrating.The three movies are very likable, especially the last two. I used to favorite 5 and 6 the most, but over the years, Empire Strikes back is my favorite Star Wars movie, the entire saga. I would show this trilogy to anyone of I want to introduce them Star Wars. Those are really good classics. Also, Lego Star Wars 2 and The Complete Saga are recommended for playing the movie, and I can also include Super Star Wars games. My next part is me reviewing the Prequel Trilogy. I am gonna go more about my first reactions just like the OT here. I will explain what I think about it. Also, this is my first actual retrospective post, so I may type it like an average blogger.

#star wars #original trilogy

[qtcomicsblog]

Justice league unleashed “Harley comes to stay”

Justice league unleashed "Harley comes to stay" Metropolis. Diana is at a ice cream parlor eating a sundae. She gets a text from etta candy and is trying to text her back. Diana: This texting, is so hard. Diana gets an alert of a robbery. Diana: Looks like something's going on, i better go see. CAN I GET THIS TO GO?! At a jewelry store harley quinn is breaking the cases Harley: Come on, come on! Diana: HARLEY QUINN! What do you think you're doing? Diana eats the rest of the ice cream and throws the empty bowl on the floor Harley: Wonder woman, thank goodness. I need you the hide me. Diana: Hide you? A car pulls up and men with guns get out and open fire in the store. Diana: By the gods! Diana generates a shield to protect herself and harley. She throws her shield at one of them knocking him out, she makes quick work of the men and tied them up with the lasso of truth. Diana: why did you attack me? Man: we weren't attacking you we wanted the clown chick Diana: Harley? She sees harley trying to get away and one of the men try to run her over. diana crushes the car and grabs harley and flies off. She drops harley on a roof. Diana: What was that harley, why were those guys after you? Harley: because of this Harley shown diana a wanted poster with harley's face on it. Diana: an addition to everything else you have a bounty on your head? Harley: Well the thing is... ummm Diana: Harley what's going on? Harley: ehhh, I may have take out a loan from the penguin to finance an evil scheme i was planning, and when i say "evil scheme" i mean go on a gigantic shopping spree. Diana: and you welshed on the loan Harley: if by welshed you mean try to blow penguin up when he came looking for his money, then yes i welshed up bad. Diana face-palms Harley: That's why i caused such a ruckus at that jewelry store i wanted to get the leagues attention. Diana: harley can't you get the joker the help you or your bff poison ivy Harley: Ivy's in arkham and puddin' would just rat me out to save his own booty. Diana: Then why don't you just tell batman, he's in gotham Harley: I can't trust battsie with my safety, he'll just throw into arkham and pengie can bribe a guard to put a bullet in me. Look, i know this is alittle un-lady like but... Harley breaks down on her knees and beg and pleas for her help Harley: YOU GOTTA HELP PLEASE, YOU'RE HEROES YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO HELP PEOPLE IN NEED EVEN PEOPLE LIKE ME! I'LL NEVER SURVIVE OUT THERE, PLEASE YOU THINK I DESERVE TO DIE, I NEED YOU SUPERHEROES PLEASE PROTECT ME! Diana: For hera's sake Harley show some dignity Harley: PLEASE PLEASE I AM BEGGING AND PLEAING TO YOU PLEASE! I CAN'T DIE! I CAN'T DIE! Diana: Alright alright i'll help you Harley: Really? I knew you would if i cried enough Harley hugs diana. diana holds her up Diana: Alright i'll put you in the one place penguin and his goons can't get to you At night at the watch tower diana is sneaking harley in and take her to an empty room. Harley is giggling. Diana: Shhh, quiet harley you'll wake everyone up Harley: i'm sorry it's just, i'm in the watch tower, at night. Diana: shh, the watch tower is the only place in the world where penguin wouldn't dream of finding you. I'm already stretching it for sneaking you in here, if batman finds out about this he'll give me that "Look." Harley gets chills Harley: I hate that look Diana: We all do diana opens the door Diana: you can stay in here for the time being so please don't touch or do anything to cause attention. Harley: wonder woman i want to thank you help me in my time of need like a human being Diana: Sure thing harley just don't let the rest of the league find out your here Harley: Wait, how about alittle jack and the beanstalk? Diana: I am not reading you a bed time story harley Harley: no, it's a drink i made. It's green beans, sweet corn, and chocolate mixed together harley squirts it in her mouth Harley: it taste terrible Diana: Goodnight harley we'll talk in the morning The Next Morning Diana goes to the kitchen and the league is eating breakfast Diana yawns Superman: Morning everyone, hey has anyone seen my bathrobe? Green lantern: Nah uh. Green lantern eating cereal. Flash runs in Flash: Anyone seen my I-pod, i can't exercise without my inspiring jams Diana: Did you forget them in your room again? Diana gathers some food and about to go to harleys room. Hawkgirl rushes in angry Hawkgirl: ALRIGHT WHO TOOK MY BOBA?! Green lantern: Don't look at me Harley walks in wearing superman’s bathrobe listening to flashes i-pod and drinking hawkgirls boba. Harley: Morning all! Flash: THAT'S MY I-POD! Superman: THAT'S MY BATHROBE! Hawkgirl: THAT'S MY BOBA! Green lantern: HARLEY QUINN! The league goes to attack harley but diana stops them Diana: STOP! Green lantern: What are you doing diana, their's a villain in the watchtower! Diana: I know, i'm the one who brought her here. Hawkgirl: Say what?! Flash: WHA?! Green lantern: YOU DID WHAT?!! Superman: WHAT IN THE WORLD?! J'onn: Diana. Diana: just let me explain but please don't tell batman she's here Batman: who's here. batman appears behind them and scowls Harley: hi battsie! In the conference room the league are having a meeting about harley's situation Batman: No. Diana: But bruce she has a price on her head and she has nowhere to turn to Batman: if she wants to go somewhere she can go to arkham Diana: She can't, she'll be a sitting duck Batman: She's not staying here Diana: Come on she needs our help, we're heroes we help those in need, even people like harley Superman: She's right, if we turn our back on her where we could've helped her, how could we call ourselves heroes. Batman: No Flash: I guess we could let her stay Green lantern: if she's desperate enough to come to us for help, she must really be in trouble Hawkgirl: Ok just as long as she doesn't drink my boba again J'onn: Agreed Batman is silent Harley is waiting in the living room and the league enters Diana: Harley, After much discussion, we're all decided to let you stay Superman: but only until we take care of penguin Harley: YAHTZEE! I'LL MAKE WAFFLES! Harley goes to kitchen Batman: You're gonna regret this Later in the watchtower wonder woman is on monitor duty and Jessica is playing video games. loud sounds of construction can be heard from harley's room. Jessica: What is all that noise? Diana: Harley, i can't work with all the racket going on The noise stops and harley opens the door Harley: oh hey Wondy Diana: Harley what are you doing in there? Harley: oh just some re-decorating, making this room feel like home. Diana: That's nice harley but please just keep it down Harley: Aye Aye Cap'n! As soon as diana leaves harley gets back to building Diana: Harley i told you to keep it... huh? Diana sees harley's finished room with all the circus themed furniture Harley: Pretty fly huh, now this place feel like home Diana: uh huh In the watchtower media room jessica is playing video games and harley is working out with loud music. Jessica: harley i'm trying to play my game Harley: Just doing my daily workout keeping my girlie figure girlie. Jessica groans Flash is in the kitchen and goes to the refrigerator Flash: We're out of milk? i just bought this milk he sees harley eating cereal straight out of the box Hawk girl is looking around for her mace Hawk girl: Has everyone seen my mace? Harley: you mean this birdie girl, here you go. Hawk girl smells something and it comes from the mace Hawk girl: what's that smell? Harley: Oh i had to unclog the toilet be sure to wash that really good hawk girl eye twitches Superman doing laundry and he sees all of her white shirts are pink. Superman: What the... Harley shows up Harley: oh thanks supes, awww fresh clean shorts. Harley mixed her red shorts with superman's white clothes Night time harleys loud snoring can be heard throughout the watchtower. No one can sleep. The next morning the league is exhausted and harley is cheerful Harley: Good morning everyone! Hawgirl: Yeah maybe for you it is Harley: What with you guys? Hawgirl: Your snoring kept us up all night, i'm use to diana's snoring but yours is just unbearable. Harley: I don't snore Flash: Yes you do Hawkgirl: What happened to all the cereal? and the milk? and the butter? And the eggs? Harley burps Harley: Pardon me Hawkgirl: I just get some OJ. Harley: Uh about that... Hawkgirl: You drank it all did you? Harley: Yes. Hawgirl: I think i'll skip breakfast Flash: I'm gonna go get a breakfast burrito Jessica: I'm gonna go play a game Jessica leaves to kitchen. Jessica is upset Jessica: HARLEY! Harley: Yep. Jessica: Did you perchance play my game? Harley: Maybe alittle Jessica: Alittle? YOU BROKE MY CONTROLLER! Harley: Sorry, the game cheated on me and i got angry Jessica's face turns red in anger and creates a chainsaw construct to attack harley. Diana use the lasso to stop her Diana: Calm down jessica jessica calms down and walks off Harley: Where ya goin' greenie? Jessica: To the game store to buy a new controller Harley: ok, hey you mind getting me a burger? Superman: I think i'll go on patrol Diana sighs Diana: harley this is not going well, if you're gonna stay here you need to be more considerate to the league Harley: Sorry wondy Diana: It's ok harley, can you at least clean of the kitchen? Harley: OH THANKS FOR REMINDING ME WONDY! I've been here for two days and i haven't had a shower. Harley leaves the kitchen Diana: Wait harley.. Harley: Don't worry i'll find it! Harley sees the league locker room Harley: aw sweet Diana is cleaning up the kitchen when a mirror sparkles and Heatwave goes through it determined to claim harley bounty Heatwave: Alright that money it mine He goes to find her until he is hit from behind by diana Diana: Heatwave? HARLEY! Diana spins around transforming into wonder woman. Harley is taking a shower A mirror in the locker room sparkles and out came killer croc, he sees harley showering and sneak up to her and opens his jar to bite her. But diana gets his tail and throws him away from her Harley: Huh? Diana fights croc to keep him away from harley Harley: What in the world? Crocie? Diana: Run harley! Harley: I'm still naked Diana: GO! Harley runs wearing a towel. Harley goes into the nearest room where happens to be Diana's room. Harley: (Gasp) I'm in wonder womans room. She looks into her closet and harley eyes sparkle and she makes a big smile.   Diana is fighting killer croc Diana: there's only one villain that could make this possible.. A mirror sparkles and mirror master walks out Diana: Mirror master! Mirror master: Hit the nail on the head amazon, we're here for the clown but beating you is just a bonus. Diana throws croc at him and goes to the main computer and contact the rest of the league Diana: JUSTICE LEAGUE! INTRUDERS IN THE WATCHTOWER! GET BACK HERE NOW! I REPEAT INTRUDERS IN THE WATCHTOWER! Heatwave attack diana with his flamethrower Heatwave: you're not gonna stop us amazon The three villains surround her Diana: I can handle you three on my own no problem Harley: BUT YOU WON'T HAVE TO! Harley jumps out wearing one of diana's suits Harley: NO NEED TO FEAR, WONDER HARLEY IS HERE! Diana: Harley? IS THAT MY SUIT? Mirror master: There she is! Wonder woman and Harley quinn attacks the villains Wonder woman crushes heatwaves flamethrower and knocks his out with a punch. Mirror master shoots at harley and she dodges them. She pulls out diana's sword and lunges at him Diana: Harley careful with that! Killer croc grabs diana and she throws him. Harley hits mirror master with the flat part of the sword and wonder woman kicks him in the face. Harley: Booyah team supreme! Diana: Give me that harley! Croc gets back up and charges at them. They dodge him and harley pulls out her hammer Diana: Much better choice Harley: Awww. Croc attacks diana and grabs his tail and spins him around and harley activates her hammer thrusters and spins around uncontrollably and diana swings him into harley hammer spin hitting him in the face. Diana stops the hammer and harley is dizzy Harley giggles Harley: Did we get 'em? Diana: Yes, we got them Mirror master gets up and points his mirror gun at them. He is stopped and restrained by jessica and the rest of the league show up and restrain the other villains. Harley: Well aren't you guys tarty to the party, ME AND WONDY ALREADY TOOK CARE OF IT! Superman: I can see that, and batman called he took care of penguin and called off the hit Harley: YAHTZEE! The next day harley has all her stuff packed. Harley: Well that's all of it. Looks like it's time to head out Jessica: Goodbye harley Flash: Stay in touch Harley: Before I got I want to say thanks to you guys for letting me stay, especially you wondy. You helped me when I had no one to turn to, you're a great hero and a good friend. Diana: You're welcome harley, and good luck. Harley: Thanks and don't worry about me no one can hold down Harley quinn, oh and I left you guys a goodbye gift in the kitchen. Bye! Harley leaves on her motorcycle Superman: I got to admit harleys not that bad Diana: Yeah, it was the right thing to do and if i had to do it again I will. Superman and diana see the gift harley left Superman: Harley wrote on the wall! Diana: "Thank you Justice League!" Aww so sweet Hawkgirl: Uh diana, looks like harley wrote this in ice cream, your ice cream. Diana sees an empty container and her eyes widened and irises shrink Diana: GET THAT CLOWN!!!! Diana runs after her wielding her sword Diana: I'LL RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!! Superman: DIANA CALM DOWN! Batman: I know this was a bad idea. END.

#DC comics #justice league unleashed #fan series #fan episode #harley comes to stay

[c-bulletaftermidnight]

Ok I said I wouldn’t ask but your TFA answer was so awesome I’m curious - things you liked/disliked about TLJ?

Oh boy, oh boy

Liked:

_ Uuuh. Kylo becoming Supreme Leader and cementing himself as the true villain I guess since it’s interesting to work on it’s gonna the political & military landscape of the FO??

_ Kylo being shown off again as a good tactician when fucking up the Raddus.

_I’m glad Phasma’s gone. 

-Finn & Rey hugging at the end of the movie that’s it.

That’s it. 

Dislikes:

_ The worldbuilding has been fucked up just to respond to Rian’s whims when he have barely any explications about the context.

_ Fucking bad designs everywhere. 

_Boring cinematography except a few times. 

_ The fucking zooms-in and Kylo looking like he’s stuck in a washing machines when he barrels rolls around the TIE Silencer. 

_ The FO is suddendly overpowered with money and personnal. The loss of SKB has like no impact on the organization. This episode should have explored to their backstory but Rian simply didn’t care.

_ Everybody in this movie shut off their brains. 

_ Hux went from “officer didn’t had not much battle experience” to a total joke. His traumas due to his upbringing are ignored and his sufferings are reduced into supposed moments of comedy .And it’s not like Rian didn’t knows his past, he even gave him a first name. Hell he didn’ even bother explain Hux’s past to Domhnall and he discovered that his character had a first name when an interviewer asked him about it (Domnhall seemed pretty angry about it since he invest himself a lot in reserches and stuff for the characters he plays.) Knowing how Domhnall had to improvise the blaster scene, i’m sure he would have objected even more of Rian’s decisions.  His purpose half of the movie is to do Huxposition on the bridge, being totally incompetent and thrown around. It’s gonna be hard for JJ to repair this and have the audience take him seriously as a villain. 

 _ Poe, well, I never cared much about his character. I even tried to read the comics but I felt barely nothing about him. But I was hoping TLJ would help but instead they managed to makes me hate his character. The Poe/Holdo arc was badly written. There was many ways to make an arc like that make sense but also more emotionnal for these two characters. I hate how one second they makes him this macho man who keeps understimating lady officers but a second after, the female characters are “haha, I like him ;)”   Yeah sure. 

_Finn’s arc who is reduced as total coward and a joke and where war has to be explained to him (a fucking child-soldier) by a woman that constantly think about hurting him when he mentions Rey, the person he is close to the most and then is forced as a potential love-interest to him for some reasons. The DJ explanations are just bad (of course, the Resistance has to buy weapons. We knows that Rian, thx) The suicide run was also pretty stupid. Also the fact that him and Rey didn’t reuniting on the Supremacy screams so much Rian wanting them to interact as less as possible in the movie. Finn deserves better.

_ Rey’s arc. Can we even talk about an arc? Her character regressed. As if she didn’t dealt with years of abuse and survival on Jakku and as if Kylo never tortured her and hurt her closed ones. Hell she even get tortured twice in the space of two days because of Kylo. The Force-skype stuff feels so forced. Adam & Daisy only have good chemistry when their characters are set against each other. Rey talks about how she is scared of the Force within her but we see her then has no problem to deal with it and master everything in one second (rendering the existence of jedi school pretty useless like you just have to download the Force-powers of a master jedi and that’s it. The Force.exe is installed. ) The small training scene where she cut the rock looks pretty stupid, her sword fighting position is pretty bad during it. Going to the dark side has no consequences on her. She has no agency. Replace the word “Force” by the plot and you’ll see what I mean. 

_ Luke. Has someone who has to deal with depression, I think showing Luke as irritated and stuff can makes sense. I kinda relate since my temper changed a lot. I had a lot of patience & kindness but now, everything irritate me (from a member of my family intruding in my space to hearing the ringing of the phone) I’m scared to see my friends, I feel like a walking failure that I will never be satisfied about myself or will satisfy my parents, I just want to be left alone & if this lead me to die that way, then so be it. The problem is how wonky the writing leading-up to this Luke is bad. Everything is about to make us feels sad for Kylo (I don’t). Kylo’s turning against his family upon learning that he is the grandson of one of the most dangerous war criminal would makes senses. Luke blaming himself because he felt he failed to help his nephew after years of work instead of randomly popping his lightsaber would have made more sense. Luke’s grieving all his others students would make more sense. Luke attempting to reason Kylo after the massacre but still failing would make sense. Luke looking for a solution on the island and then failing to find one, thus made him feel unable to see his sister face to face would makes more sense. There’s is barely any emotionnal moments for Luke and the Final holographic showdown feels like they absolutely wanted to avoid Kylo to kill Luke directly (like c’mon, he’s been committing war crimes since the first minutes of TFA)

_ Kylo. TLJ is a bad attempt at Kylo’s pity fest.It’s interesting that his traumas are acknowledged while the other character’s are pretty ignored despite having a tragic’s past that should impact them as well. Everything is about him. Most of his actions are pretty villainous, he’s no grey character like people are trying to force us to believe because he looks sad. This is an humanized villain arc (which he didn’t need after seeing TFA), not a redemption one. At least he is now the main villain too, so there’s tha (But the “Uwu save ben solo” stuff going around spoil my liking of him as a villain. I’m not here to see whether Kylo is gonna turn LS for a third time in ep9. It would be too repetitive at this point) I just hate the “ You are truely Han solo’s son”line because it is obvious he is more like his mother. Only father figures are important to the characters in SW, it seems. Also the goddamn scar being moved on his eyes but it doesn’t impair his vision despite being cut by a freaking lightsaber. Like Rian could have gave us a legit explanation why Kylo was weakened & needed Rey to fight the preoatarians guards: Losing an eye would be an huge handicap tha het is not used to yet so he needed help to take the throne. 

_ Leïa is only here to looks sad and for Kylo’s momentarily manpain (and Marry Poppying around space). Like really, you reduce Leïa fucking Organa too that?? The woman ready to move time and space just for the sake of saving freedom? the princess of Alderaan who saw her planet being destroyed but kept up on? the woman who was mainly in charge of the strategizing of Hoth’s evacuation? The woman who was willing to stay on Bespin just for the sake of massacring stormtroopers because Vader gave Han away to Boba Fett & would have stayed if Lando didn’t pulled her off to the Falcon? The woman who had to face the galactic backlash of her being Vader’s daughter but still kept on? A woman full of anger but also sense of duty?

_ Rose, rose, rose… I was excited to meet her so imagine my disappointment upon discovering she was just here to lecture & push around Finn & being forced as another love interest that doesn’t even work. It’s like she forgot that her sister died the same day and that she should still be grieving. We don’t even get to see her use her mechanic’s skills in the whole story. The message about her character makes no sense between her last line in tlj and all the destructions she is willing to provoke (not all the ppl working at Canto bight are rich, has it show in the Canto Bight book) or let happens. KMT doesn’t deserve that. 

_ Yoda’s appearing bcos I hate this hypocrite of a gremlin and was expecting for Luke to dunk him in the sea. 

_ Chewie, the glorified cab driver.

_ The battles are a huge clusterfuck & the most badly written space battle I have ever seen. 

_The way Poe’s piloting skills feels to OP when you compare to other pilots, in particular in recently RO. 

_D’qar’s battle is a fucking tactical mess. Everyone has been conviniently dumb down. Same during the slow-mo chase. What’s even the point of bringing the whole fleet of star destroyers if they are just useless.

_ Bad infiltration scene on the Supremacy on the same level as RO’s one. I’m just tired of infiltration scenes in SW. Please stop that shit. 

_ The preotarian guard fight is a choregraphic mess that has no stakes for the characters. Everyone is just waiting for their cue and twirling around. It’s like it was shooted in one go. And there is a difference between Luke in ROTJ kicking a blaster out of the hand of a foe looking bad due to technical problems of the time. And a knife suddendly being edited out at the last minute because the mc would have die then

_ Crait. A good example on how not taking in account the worldbuilding that could be used in battle. So you’re gonna tell me that the Resistance decided to hide away in a base with no issue other than big metallic door in the front? Sounds like a good plan.

_ Leïa never taking command of the battle and strategizing and letting Poe deal with all that despite that she is the general that Poe is a demoted member of the Navy who caused a shit-ton of mess among the Resistance like 30 minutes ago

_ Hux is still depicted in a idiotic way & using bad tactics again. If this is supposed to be a movie about the characters learning about their mistakes,well it didn’t do its job.

_ What is even the use of the third cannon of the gorrilla walkers??

_ What was even the point to use these old speeders besides for being destroyed?

_ Rey shooting down 3 TIES in one shot seems to break a lot of SW physics. Her disappearing of the whole fight shows how much Rian didn’t care abt her character beyond having her interact with Kylo.

_ Y’know, I have Battlefront 2 and in the game there is mining tunnels on the battlefield that you can use to hide. In the movie they are not present, the whole Resistance sit dumbly in trench and just wait to be massacred. I was hoping those tunnels would re-appear in the movies & would be used to sink the walkers by bringing them down with bomb used for mining but nope. The image of walkers falling in a sinkhole, provoking a storm of red dust, coloring the outfits,armors and vehicles in red would have been pretty badass to see.

_ The ramming canon trained on like 10 kilometers instead of using the gorrilla walkers designs and adding to them the mini death-stars canons. They can’t use it all the time tho bcos it would need to cool down before shooting again. Aren’t these supposed to be artillery vehicles ffs???

_ The Resistance not even rigging their escape ships with bombs so if the FO penetrated their base, they can at least cripple them by exploding them. So much for a group that is supposed to be specialized in guerrilla warfare.

_ Talking about guerrilla warfare, i was expecting at least a pursuit and firefight in the mines. No use of the worldbuilding during battle scenarios once again. 

_ Leïa should have been the one to confront Kylo, not Luke. Showing her willing to fight her own son and dies during it for the freedom of the galaxy would have been a good way to send her off and building her as this strong, resilient, legendary leader willing to fight her own family for the good cause. It would have been a good middle finger to people who slandered her upon learning she was Vader’s daughter.

_ Rey effortlessly levitating these rocks. Showing her struggle would have made the ending scene more rewarding.

_ The news of the Battle of Crait spreading super fast despite that the Resistance official journalist, Suralinda Javos wasn’t even present during it for documenting or something.

_ Broom boy & the way it is implied that he might join the Resistance or something because of his Force-powers. A fucking child.Involved in a war. I thought Finn being a child-soldier was bad thing?

And I’ll stop there for now, because there is so many problems with this movie, i’m never gonna be finished with it. 

#tlj criticism #rian there's no point abt subverting expactations if you can't write coherent characters and plot

[the-upper-armories]

Maul rant!

Solo spoilers, but no, Maul is not showing up in the Kenobi movie. Their final rematch already happened in the Rebels episode “Twin Suns,” and they’re not gonna retcon that. They can make a Kenobi movie without Maul, and they can make a Maul movie without Kenobi (or Maul appearances, like in the Boba Fett movie).

At the time of Solo, Maul is making a comeback after his Shadow Collective disbanded and his rule over Mandalore’s Death Watch was lost. That’s why he’s behind the Crimson Dawn organization; his biggest advantages and wins came from being a galactic crime lord, not just a Sith lord. It was because of this that Darth Sidious saw his uprising as a future threat towards his own plans.

There’s still some good wiggle room for Maul to have more content without him facing Kenobi again. Solo takes place 10 years before the Battle of Yavin (ANH), and Maul’s final showdown with Kenobi was just two years BBY, giving him about eight years. Possibly only six or seven, because before his rematch, Maul was stranded on the planet Malachor in search of an ancient Sith temple/superweapon until he was found by Ezra Bridger, Kanan Jarrus, and Ahsoka Tano (Rebels episode “Twilight of the Apprentice”).

My opinion? Well I’m glad you asked! Of course, I’ll always enjoy some Maul content like everyone else, and I have full faith in the Lucasfilm story group to keep everything in the canon organized. However, after the “Twin Suns” episode and Maul’s death, I was kinda ready to let go of him. He had a good run, and a hell of a comeback after his quick defeat in The Phantom Menace. We saw him in The Clone Wars, we saw him in Rebels, he had two of his own comic book mini series, and we got a ton of great material from all of that; his first Jedi kill, his rebirth after TPM, his first rematch with Kenobi, his rule over Death Watch, his Shadow Collective, his master/apprentice relationship with Savage Oppress, his intense battle with Darth Sidious, his manipulation over Ezra, and of course his final rematch with Old Ben Kenobi. I thought his story was good enough at that point to be fully concluded. But like I said, I’m always down for more Maul, and I know the story group wouldn’t have given Ron Howard the “okay” to include him in the movie if they didn’t have a good plan going forward. I don’t want to see a forced retcon of the rematch on Tatooine. Rather, I’d like Maul to be the main villain in a number of connected underworld-themed Star Wars movies (Solo, Boba Fett, etc.), and continue to be the secretive criminal mastermind behind Crimson Dawn. The movies can bring back organizations like the Pyke Syndicate, Black Sun, and the Hutt Cartel, along with bounty hunters like, of course, Boba Fett. My only complaint would be the dual portrayal; Ray Park would play the physical role, while Sam Witwer would provide the voice. That’s how it was done in Solo, and that’s how I would imagine they would continue to do it. I’m not sure how I, or everyone else, would feel about a main character being dubbed over during every scene. This fact may end up causing Disney/Lucasfilm to decide to make Maul’s new adventures into a novel or comic book, rather than more films, though that would be further alienation of the average moviegoers who have been given this tease, and are now expecting a follow-up in the same media platform. Regardless, I’m glad we’re seeing another familiar and totally unexpected character once again, and I’m excited to see where they go with this.

#star wars #sw #spoilers #sw spoilers #solo spoilers #solo a star wars story #maul #darth maul #sith #the clone wars #star wars rebels

[apriki]

WARS OF THE STARS

So ya homegirl finally saw the last jedi and oh, there are THOUGHTS to be HAD below the cut for spoiler purposes but guys. GUYS.

I LOVED IT

I LOVED IT 

IT WAS WEIRD AND AMBITIOUS AND OVERTHREW THE CONVENTIONS OF THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE IN A WAY FORCE AWAKENS SPECIFICALLY DIDN’T AND I LOOOVVVED IT

when luke threw the lightsaber over his shoulder at the very start i was like OHHHHH YES BITCH...... ITS FUCKIN ON

‘this isn’t going to go how you think’ INDEED

my heart siezed when i saw leia ugh.... and this film treated her with the gravitas she deserved and i loved that 

POE IS A COCKY FLYBOY BUT OKAY THE HUX SCENE WAS LEGITIMATELY FUNNY and domhnall gleeson is having THE MOST FUN 

ROSE’S SISTERRR and i feel like this film took pains to show a more diverse range of people in the resistance and also in the background on the star destroyers? and i really loved that

snoke’s red room of pain lmaoooooooooo. and his mara jade bodyguards

snoke forcing kylo to take his helmet off because he knows kylo needs it to disconnect shut the fuck up

kylo tantrum™ and him wrecking the mask because snoke shattered its meaning to him but also YOU DON’T GET TO WEAR THE MASK IN THIS MOVIE, KYLO. A BITCH IS GONNA BE OUT HERE VULNERABLE AS FUCK

the timeline of this movie was... odd? i feel like we were meant to think rey was with luke for weeks but the rebellion plot was suuuuuper super fast. i employed some mental time dilation to make sense of it lmao

KYLO NOT BEING ABLE TO TAKE THE SHOT AND KILL LEIA

EMO SON LOVES HIS MOM 2K17

holy SHIT i really thought they were going to kill leia off 20 MINUTES IN for a hot minute there

but then she FORCED HER WAY BACK INTO THE SHIP? SUCK ON THAT DUDEBROS WHO SAID SHE WASN’T STRONG WITH THE FORCE LIKE DIE

SPACE LAURA DERN

We Need To Talk About Rey And Kylo’s Sense8 Plot

THAT FIRST SCENE WHERE SHE DIDN’T HESITATE, BITCH

and he FELT IT. HE FELT THAT BLASTER

THEIR FACES when they force felt each other what the guuud FUCK

kylo: you will lead me to skywalker

rey: i think the fuck not

‘i don’t see where you are... only you’

BI.......TCH

THE REST OF THE WORLD FADED AWAY AND THEY WERE STUCK WITH ONE ANOTHER

luke’s sad hermit routine lmfao

luke: the jedi weren’t shit really

me: absolutely fair and true

when rey was like ‘please take this lightsaber and all the responsibility that comes with it’ and luke was like ‘this bitch empty YEET’

porgs are whatever. i wouldve eaten that one on the stick lmao chewbacca is a softie

am i the only one who like doesn’t remember the millenium falcon’s dice in the mirror lmao

sidenote like, adam driver’s voice. right? right?

KYLO CALLING HIMSELF A MONSTER WAS WHAT MADE REY START TO BELIEVE HE WASN’T? WHAT KIND OF BYRONIC NONSENSE......

‘i’d really rather not do this right now’ / ‘yeah me either’

I CACKLED. 

THESE TWO SHIT KIDS WITH A SENSE8 CONNECTION THEY DON’T WANT DROPPING IN ON EACH OTHER’S NARRATIVES

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS MOVIE IS REAL.

i heard that kylo ren had a sixpack. that kylo ren is shredded

DON’T YOU HAVE LIKE, A COWL OR SOMETHING?????????????????????

MAZ KANATA IS LIVING HER OWN ACTION FILM SHE DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR BULLSHIT

loved the casino world that was so obviously based on monaco and dipping into the muddy waters of arms dealing and showing how deep the fight between tyranny and freedom runs in the galaxy. it can get quite baroque with the skywalkers and their drama and i felt like it was a smart smart move to have finn team up with rose to see how exploitation and cruelty don’t always have to be in the form of sith lords or first orders

this movie is so busy dismantling the ideas of heroes and villains. it’s just people making choices and that’s the point and it’s TRRRUUUUUUE

benicio del toro is the new era boba fett and i love HE

poe getting SLAPPED and BLASTERED like multiple times lmaoooooooo like i like him well enough but bitch listen to your betters!

i kind of loved that finn and rose went off on this grand plan to save the resistance and it.... didn’t work. like everything they kept trying just DID NOT WORK but there was still hope at the end? friends it was beautiful

YOU’RE NOT ALONE

KYLO SLIDING OUT INTO THE CORRIDOR IS UHHHHHH THE STRAIGHT UP BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

HE’S A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD LINKIN PARK FANATIC AND I LOVE

rey in the rain

the first time she’s ever felt it?

and then the world goes QUIET AGAIN

WHAT KIND OF WOLFGANG AND KALA BULL SHIT

and okay the end of this scene where kylo pulls his hand away

AND WIPES OFF

THE RAIN

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

CANNOT

I CANNOT.

WHAT IS THIS AGE OF INNOCENCE FUCKING BUFFONERY SCREAAAMM

‘did he tell you what happened?’

and like, kylo could just say it himself

but he knows rey wouldn’t believe him 

and luke fucking LIED

‘THAT SKYWALKER BLOOD’

me two years ago: what’s an adam driver

me now: (laughing nervously) what the f

‘why does the force keep connecting us?’ BITCH ME TOO LMFAO 

the way the world STOPS ALL AROUND THEM

oh my god the flashbacks

like i feel like we got more than enough of this alluded to in force awakens but some people need it in black and white i guess and HERE THE FUCK IT IS

‘and the last thing i saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him’

and okay WOW @ ME EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS CONTINUALLY SAID HAN, LEIA AND LUKE DIDN’T FAIL KYLOHE LITERALLY TRIED TO MURDER HIM

look.

i am the most stoic bitch in a movie theatre. like shit does not phase me but i fucking teared UP my face just CRUMPLED LIKE UGHHHHH

AND ADAM’S DRIVER’S STUPID FUCKING FACE AND HIS DUMB EYES

HIS PARENTS SENT HIM AWAY BECAUSE THEY WERE AFRAID OF HIM AND HIS UNCLE TRIED TO FUCKING MURDER HIM

‘YOU WERE WRONG TO THINK HIS HEART HAD DECIDED!’

and THIS is what’s at the heart of the last jedi - dismantling the myth of the hero. there are no heroes, only people, and luke is the embodiment of thatto rey he’s a myth but to kylo he was a man and that’s how he stumbled but he stumbled because he believed his OWN myth i’m just..... dying slowly

THEIR HANDS TOUCHING

THEIR FINGERS

FUCK OFF

THE ELECTRICITY

I FEEL THE CONFLICT IN HIM

REY CRYING AND KYLO TEARING UP

GOODBYE BITCHES I’M FUCKIN OUTTA HEEEYYYYA

rey: i saw you at my side

kylo: well i saw YOU at MY side

me: fellas,

REY BLASTING OFF RIGHT INTO THE HEART OF THE ENEMY CAUSE SHE BELIEVES SHE CAN SAVE BEN’S SOUL

REY GOING INTO THE DARKNESS AND NOT BEING AFRAID

AND TRYING TO SEE HER PARENTS BUT ONLY SEEING HERSELF

snoke claiming that he mainpulated rey and kylo looks up in FURY because he realises he was manipulating him too

LIKE HE ALWAYS KNEW

BUT HERE IT IS IN BLACK AND WHITE

his fingers twitching 

the saber moving

me in my seat: boy he bout to DO IT

AND KILLS

HIS

TRUE

ENEMY

i SCREAMED

well i didn’t scream because i was in a theatre but i screamed on the inside. i would watch kylo or ANY character kill every person who ever manipulated abused used them and HOW oh my GOD 

HE COULDN’T KILL REY AND HE KILLED SNOKE INSTEAD.

HE COULDN’T KILL LEIA AND HE COULDN’T KILL REY

JUST A BOY IN A MASK

THE EYES OF A FRIGHTENED BOY

like he just wants someone to to TRUST and they all keep FAILING for all his talk to rey of her constantly looking for parental figures like all he fucking wants is to belong to something??

it’s whatever.

like i can but i also can’t believe we actually got this character so shaped and formed by abuse and manipulation KILLING HIS ABUSER. like KNEELING IN FRONT OF SNOKE and being beaten down and down and FINDING THE STRENGTH TO KILL HIM ANYWAY

the conflict of this series is happening in the galaxy but it’s also happening in ben solo’s heart and that’s just about enough for me to mcFREAKING lose it

THE WAY REY CONSISTENTLY CALLS HIM BEN.’

BEN. BENJY. BENJO BOY

REY AND KYLO FIGHTING

BACK TO BACK

BACK! TO BACK!

REY WITH THE CROSSGUARD SABER KYLO WITH ANAKIN’S SABER

KILLING THOSE RED DUDES MAYBE THE KNIGHTS OF REN? THE SLOW MO

FIGHTING TOGETHER................. 

POETRY

I DIED

I FUCKING STRAIGHT UP ASCENDED

REY CALLING HIM BEN AND HIM FLINCHING

EVERY

SINGLE

TIME

‘you’re nothing to the story - but not to me’

LOOK,

LISTEN,

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS MOVIE IS REEEEAAALLLL

when kylo asked rey to join him i swear to god i heard the opening synth of carly rae jepsen’s ‘run away with me’

FORCE FIGHTING FOR THE SABER

DARKNESS AND LIGHT TO MEET IT

BUT ALSO DARKNESS IN HER AND LIGHT IN HIM

THE BALANCE

THE BALANCE!!

THEY’RE EQUALS THEY’RE SO EQUAL THEY FUCKING

TORE

THE SABER

APART

i seriously thought this was going to be the film’s climax but there was like 40 more minutes after this ksadjfkdsfj

LAURA DERN AND LEIA wow that was some BUSINESS 

and leia explaining to poe about doing the right thing vs. looking like a hero MY GOD this film is on another level. how the fuck did it both take star wars to town over like its most fundamental conventions but still feel true to the series and respectful and genuine? I AM... AGOG

LAURA FUCKING DERN LIGHTSPEEDING INTO A SPEED DESTROYER HOLLLLYY SHIT

and the no sound CRACKING APART of the cruiser the LIGHT 

this movie was shot so beautifully thanks disneymarvelfox conglomerate

honestly i’m still astounded that a film so rooted in nostalgia, nearly dependent on it in a way, firmly and deeply embedded a ‘let the past die’ moral through its narrative. LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF BLOCKBUSTER???????? but i loved it, i loved that luke and kylo were both so determined to bury the past and rey was equally determined to dig it up. because how can you have balance without it? 

the whole hoth version 2 snow planet was beautiful and the BURGUNDIES the contrast i love an aesthetic!

(tastes red substance hesitantly) ‘Salt.’

i want a crystal wolf

LMFAO YODA JUST BEING A FUCKING TROLL WHAT THE HELL

they couldn’t phone ewan mcgregor for a yung hot jesus obi wan cameo? i’d be into it

LUKE’S FOOT NOT SHOWING A RED PRINT THAT’S WHEN I KNEW HE WASN’T THERE

kylo: .........i’ll destroy the girl

luke: no you wont

kylo: yeah no i wont u right u right

LUKE AND LEIA OH MY GODDDD the GRAVITAS of mark and carrie!!! it was so beautiful

when kylo gave an order and hux repeated it super loud and kylo GAVE HIM THE WILDEST SIDE EYE I FUCKING CHOOOOKEKEKKEKEKED

i’m glad somewhere along the way they realised hux is like the biggest joke character lmfao

bye phasma

finn’s storyline really god sidelined this movie huh? i loved rose a LOT and i loved them together but did we need the poe plot like really

all the scenes with the og trio have been so layered and beautiful you can 

though i thought luke died in the fire and it was his force ghost not him like force astral projecting lmao

LUKE WALKING OUT OF THE RED SMOKE FROM THE GUNFIRE DDDAMMMMNN

‘do you think you got him????????’ KDBFKSHDFKHDS

ooof that final confrontation scene though

damn right you should apologise luke lmfao

SEE YA, KID

kylo’s anger in the last third is just wooooof like he thinks he can destroy every person and every remnant that rejected him but he’s just running on his own anger until he realises luke isn’t really there and there’s nothing else for him to fight

OOOOF

THE BINARY SUNSET

that GOT me i was verklempt

rey and poe meeting was cute

i hope they’re not setting up a love triangle cause like that shit is tiiirrreeeedddd

i like finn and rey and also finn and rose like im happy to go down whatever road they take

THAT FINAL SCENE

SNOKE WAS WAY FUCKING DEAD BUT THEY WERE

STILL

CONNECTED

HIM BENEATH HER ABOVE

YES BITCH LOOK AT EACH OTHER

and shutting the door but like the FALCON

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S GONNA BE TWO MORE YEARS

is the fucking novelization out yet?

or the script?

i want to swim in this movie god stay tuned as my thoughts #develop and #grow

#star wars spoilers #the last jedi spoilers #spoilers #tlj spoilers #I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL ANYONE #i can't BELIEVE i lasted like FOUR DAYS without getting spoiled #but i'm so glad #it was such a joy to watch #star wars #i've been GRINNING like an IDIOT all afternoon and night like this movie has made my YYYYEAR #RIAN JOHNSON SAVING 2017 LATE IN THE GAME

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The Last Jedi: What I Disliked About One of the Most Fascinating Films Ever Made

The Last Jedi is probably one of the most controversial films ever made for a lot of reasons. This movie did a LOT of shit, a lot of shit that would piss people off. Hell, it even pissed ME off. But when I see people on the internet frothing at the mouth and calling this movie the worst shit pile to ever exist, the most offensive thing Star Wars has ever produced, and threatening the director with death and calling him a soulless piece of shit bastard… I’m pretty inclined to defend the movie. Frankly, anyone who reacts THIS negatively to TLJ is an utter braindead moron; you do realize you can dislike a film without being completely, insanely hyperbolic, yeah? Again, there’s a lot I hate in this movie too, and I’m gonna talk about it shortly, but in a franchise with Jar-Jar, the holiday special, and vast swaths of the Legends continuity, is this seriously the worst this franchise has had to offer? If you answer anything other than “No,” congratulations, I’d say you’re about the same mental capacity as people who think Watto is some sort of offensive Jewish caricature.

But as much as I would love to spend an entire post insulting all the whiny bastards in the Star Wars fandom, I have more pressing matters: criticizing stuff in The Last Jedi. And boy do I have a lot to criticize. I actually did review the movie a while back, and while I stand by my initial thoughts, I gotta go into more detail about what I didn’t like. However, before continuing, I want to make one thing  absolutely clear:

I think The Last Jedi is a genuinely good movie. Maybe not GREAT per se, as I have more criticisms for it than just about any other film in the series, but excellence is just so wholly ingrained into the DNA of Star Wars theatrical films that even at their most divisive they still have some level of charm. And at any rate, this movie is a hell of a lot more interesting than Rogue One. I’d say out of the newer films, this one sits behind Solo. Anyway, let’s get on to the main event… here are all my issues with The Last Jedi, presented alphabetically, and with lots of spoilers:

Canto Bright: This is probably the most annoying waste of time in the entire film, a blatant and obnoxious stretch of padding the runtime. Nothing that happens in the entirety of this subplot is truly important in the grand scheme of things; the only relevant bit of plot is that they find DJ, and this could have been done a lot quicker. This wouldn’t be so bad if they had made Canto Bright a bit more interesting, but it just feels like another attempt to rehash Mos Eisley’s cantina. It also doesn’t help this part of the film has blatant, unsubtle moralizing and cuts away from far more interesting plotlines that get much less development, particularly Rey training with Luke.

Ditching Kylo’s Motivation: In The Force Awakens, Kylo was motivated by a sort of misaimed admiration for his grandfather, where he viewed Vader as someone to emulate and who he looked to as he struggled between the light side and the dark side. All of this helped make him rather intriguing, as well as making him a very intentional Darth Vader clone character; his whole purpose was to emulate Vader, after all. All of this is ditched close to the start of The Last Jedi, and the Kylo in this film feels almost entirely different to the one seen previously. While I did like Kylo Ren  a lot more in this movie, I wish they didn’t completely rewrite his character and ditch everything established in favor of what they did. It could have easily been worked into how he acted in the film.

Finn’s Diminished Importance: After being something of the star of the last film, complete with a noticeable character arc and a lot of focus, Finn kinda gets shafted here, relegated to a shitty, unnecessary sideplot that leads the heroes nowhere. It just seems really weird, though I’m not unhappy Rey got more focus and was fleshed out better.

Holdo: While I tend to view people who write her off as “The purple-haired feminist bitch” or “Captain SJW” as inferior human beings – and they are, seriously, if you unrironically say shit like this you’re a drooling nincompoop – I really can’t deny in the slightest that Holdo was written rather poorly. She really is a poor excuse for a captain, openly lying to her underlings and keeping things secret when explaining the plan would have effected nothing except her entire crew’s compliance. It almost feels like this plot was written so we’d be on Poe’s side, but it works a bit too well by making Holdo far too arrogant, stupid, and haughty to really get behind. If not for her awesome heroic sacrifice  (one that might not have been needed in the first place if she’d been more honest but hey) I’d probably list her as one of the worst Star Wars characters ever… but a heroic sacrifice of this magnitude,  no matter how unearned it may seem, never fails to impress me.

Killing Snoke: I can kinda see what they were going for, seeing as Palpatine as well was killed with very little revealed about him in The Last Jedi… but we have now had several years worth of canonical prequel material to flesh him out, and it’s honestly pretty stupid to assume you can pull off the same trick in a franchise twice and expect it to go off as well. Snoke was unflinchingly cool, creepy, and badass, so his bisection comes across as a waste of a truly intriguing villain. That there may be prequels detailing who he was do little to ease the sting of Andy Serkis being built up as the big bad only to be cut down. At least in Black Panther he got more substantial screentime; here,  he’s s till cool, but it just feels like there is so much more he could have been.

Luke’s Attempted Murder: While overall I loved Luke’s characterization in this film and how it tied excellently into the theme of not deifying your heroes due to the trouble that can cause, it’s hard for me to rationalize Luke’s attempted murder of his own nephew, leading to Kylo Ren’s turn to the dark side. While Luke has always been a bit impulsive, this man believed he could redeem Darth Vader, AND DID SO. Need I remind you what Anakin did to those younglings? And yet his own nephew, he won’t give him the benefit of the doubt. Yes, he did stop himself, but the very fact he went in there lightsaber ready to cut down the child of his sister and his best friend just feels really jarring and out of place, even within his more cynical characterization.

Phasma: Phasma has come across as a forced Boba Fett replacement since The Force Awakens, to the point where in both films she has appeared in she has been completely and utterly outshined by mooks – Nines (AKA TR-8R) in TFA and the Praetorian Guard in this one. Despite her getting a ton of fascinating backstory and depth in  canonical supplementary material, literally none of that is ever showcased even slightly in this film, and after a short, underwhelming fight scene, she apparently falls to her death. Sure, she COULD have survived, but this still feels like a rather big waste of the character. For someone they hyped up so much, the way she is handled really feels undignified.

Rey’s Parents: I’m not gonna lie, this reveal is stupid in and of itself, but the stupider thing is that a lot of people seem to be taking it at face value. When was it collectively decided we should trust the creepy, evil Sith lord who has made it perfectly clear he wants control over Rey? Why are we taking Kylo’s word that Rey’s parents were drunks who sold their kids as FACT? Honestly it just seems like a further ploy to manipulate her more than anything.

Reylo: While it isn’t canon as of yet, this movie really hammers in a bunch of hints for the obnoxiously popular ship between heroine Rey and antagonist Kylo Ren. And, quite frankly, I absolutely fucking hate this ship, but probably for a lot different reasons than most people. Do I think it’s shipping abuse? No, I don’t think it’s that any more than I think any other hero-villain ship is. Do I think Kylo doesn’t deserve to be redeemed by Rey? That’s not it either; the entire premise of this franchise is that any person can be redeemed. Kylo Ren is really no exception, though considering he killed my favorite character I’d be happy to see his ass beat. No, I hate it because I just absolutely hate the trope, if it even is one, of the hero redeeming the villain through romantic love. I feel like it would cheapen Rey’s character, and just turn the entire new trilogy into an overly long romantic drama. All the heavy-handed hints towards this pairing is just gag worthy, and frankly I’m going to be annoyed if they ruin both of these characters by going through with it.

Rose: Rose is without a doubt in my mind the worst character in the entire franchise. This seems like a rather tall order considering her competition, but consider this: her biggest contributions to the plot are the Canto Bright plotline, the absolute worst part of the film… and stopping Finn from performing a badass heroic sacrifice that might have saved the heroes a lot of trouble, delivering the stupidest line  in Star Wars history, kissing Finn, and fainting. She’s just utterly pointless to the point she feels like someone’s OC from a fanfic where they get with Finn was slipped into the script.

Wasting DJ: So you get Benicio Del Toro,  and you put him in your movie. Great so far, good. He does some weird accent and makes the character have a quirky personality, still good. You give him a very morally ambiguous personality and show the shades of grey in this idealistic universe that leans towards black vs. white most of the time, excellent, awesome! AND THEN… he betrays the heroes and vanishes from the film. What. DJ didn’t die, and he could come back… but he just feels shoehorned in and just doesn’t really reach his full potential whatsoever. He was such an interesting idea, and they just did the bare minimum with him.

Despite all of this crap, though… The Last Jedi still manages to be awesome. Holdo’s final sacrifice, the Kylo Ren and Rey fight against the Praetorian Guards, Yoda’s surprise appearance, Luke’s final battle… Hell, I even liked seeing Leia finally use the Force by flying through space with it; as cheesy as it is, it left me floored when I saw it in theaters. Then, of course, there’s that epic opening space battle… there’s just a lot to love here. In particular, my favorite moment is probably Luke becoming one with the Force. Maybe it’s not my MOST favorite moment, but it just feels so poignant and important, with his final moments mirroring the start of his journey, as he gazes into twin suns one last time before joining his teachers and father. It just… it gets to you, you know? I may have a LOT of issues with this movie, and a lot of stuff I didn’t really like in it, but more than any other movie I have so many issues with, I like and even RESPECT this film. You can say a lot of things about this movie, but one thing you can’t say is that it’s dull. It sparks discussion, and debate, and obnoxiously hyperbolic worst-everism. At the end of the day, whether it’s good or bad doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is that this film just… IS. And one way or another people will have something to say about it. Just don’t be a hyperbolic douche about it and try and enjoy things, you know?

#Star Wars #The Last Jedi #TLJ #CineMike #movies #sci-fi