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#another year of at least a drawing a month also evidently
https-furina · 4 months
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“your order is complete!” this order is for @jingyuansbird:
“heyo heyo ✌🏾 congrats on 500! so, for my order, it'll be for alhaitham, size medium, with a cappuccino, soy milk, and foam please, and thank you!!!”
alhaitham x gn!reader | fluff, college!au + established relationship | 1.1k words notes. thank you so much !! i hope you enjoy your order (it should be mentioned that alhaitham despite being a previous main of mine is not one of my strong suits so i apologise if it's bad...) <3
thirsty? see our café menu before you order! | order receipts
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with finals week drawing ever closer, it can sometimes feel like you're going insane with the repetitive revision and those god awful prep talks from your professors but adding onto that to make things worse, the most (seemingly) sane person in your circle really doesn't help the looming feeling of insanity. he seems to have no qualms with the endless academic revision thrown onto you for the sake of grades, his head always buried deep in a textbook that keeps him occupied whilst your friend circle do what they're best at… procrastinating.
"i'm really starting to think college isn't worth it," you mumble, highlighting another line in your notes - you're hoping the pretty colours will attract your attention more, "when am i ever going to use this in the 'real' world?"
your boyfriend makes an evidently amused noise from where he sits opposite you, his slim fingers working diligently at typing on his laptop; the one that you had snuck a cat meme sticker onto, much to his dismay but he is still yet to remove it. it is silent for a few moments save for the exceptionally fast clicking of laptop keys before your boyfriend presses the enter key, his turquoise eyes flickering up to meet your already staring gaze. you smile sheepishly and he rolls his eyes, a crack of a smile on the corners of his lips.
"we're almost finished and you're giving up now?" he mumbles back into the quiet of the library, almost filled to the brink with students and their numerous cups of coffee. you recognise that alhaitham has a point but all of this seems excessive when you glance around at all the dark circles under people's eyes, hair tied up in messy buns and stomachs full of leftover food because they're lacking time to cook. a frown adorns your face and alhaitham is quick to pick up on it, clearing his throat as he fixes his posture, sitting straight.
"it's all we've done for weeks now, haitham," you pout, jutting your lower lip out. without realising, you'd just made your boyfriend keen in a matter of seconds, his eyes quick to look away before he's caught slacking, "can we go for a walk? anywhere but… here."
alhaitham can't deny that the pair of you had locked yourselves away in the library for far too long to the point where his limbs have gone stiff and he's sure his knees might sound like he's aged beyond his years when he stands up. this means - much to his disliking - that he also cannot deny you, his darling partner, this walk you're requesting.
"alright, fine," he groans, slamming his laptop shut before he turns his body to slip the piece of technology into his worn leather satchel. he doesn't miss the way your face he adores so much lights up almost instantly, your eyes twinkling and wide, "but you have to promise to finish this chapter tonight."
you don't even reply to him under the premise that it'd be unwise for you to make a promise you may not be able to keep, not that it would be your fault. your friend group had tendencies to rope you into unwise things, to say the least. it could be any of them; kaveh, nilou, cyno, dehya… you have the inability to say no unless alhaitham is there to beat you to it. you're thankful for his input when it keeps you on the right track throughout college.
with your fingers laced with alhaitham's own, the two of you begin to make your way out of the jail that is the campus library. the spring sun beams down a hug of warmth on sumeru during these months, slightly sticky with humidity. alhaitham is always less than pleased about the heat, more so when he has tasks to do that require him leaving his accommodation. to quote your boyfriend, this weather in his eyes is good for nothing at all but here you was, removing him from the safe confides of an air conditioned building that was nonetheless silent - that's his idea of perfection! he bites back saying his complaints out loud, only because it's you.
"do we have a destination to this walk?" alhaitham breaks the silence first, slightly out of character for your boyfriend and it shows when you glance over at him in mild surprise, your eyebrows raised. he scoffs, looking away. you take this moment to trail your eyes over the beloved features of your partner from his silver locks and the pair of white bluetooth headphones that hang around his neck at all times. he never parted from them, almost like how he never parted from you.
you shake your head when you realise you never answered him, clicking your tongue to your teeth as you admire the bustle of the college campus - usually a little too crowded for your own liking but today it seemed to be just perfect, at least it lacked to feel like a sweaty tin of sardines, "nowhere in particular."
alhaitham appears to nod out of the corner of your eyes, his own gaze falling to a patch of empty grass on the green in the middle of campus. he squeezes your hand to catch your attention, beginning to lead you silently as you weave through the aforementioned crowds you'd been mindlessly watching prior. you didn't question his sudden change in directions, knowing alhaitham there was always a possibility the man had gotten overwhelmed in the current situation. he settles onto the lush grass first, pulling you down at his side due to your joined hands which only earns him a yelp of shock and a glare.
"that was unnecessary." you comment stubbornly and a small noise comes from your boyfriend as he watches you finally settle down, resting your head on his shoulder with a sigh.
"this walk was unnecessary." he retorts, earning him a slap on his leg that curls his lips as he looks away, squinting to watch other students.
"it's good to get outside and feel the fresh air, haitham," you muse as your eyelashes flutter shut, relaxing as you feel alhaitham's thumb brushing over your knuckles subconsciously - this is just one of his many habits he does without realising but you most definitely notice every single one, "y'know… photosynthesis."
alhaitham scoffs, suddenly turning his attention back to you as he glances over your face while your eyes are shut. he takes in the way you styled your hair today and the minor details of your face you think nobody notices. seconds pass with no more words said before alhaitham leans to press his lips to you, catching you off guard as your eyes widen. pleased with your reaction, he pulls away with the faintest of a smug expression on his face as he dares to utter a response to your earlier comment, "love, we're not plants."
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forgottenfourr · 10 months
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i saw you in a dream - university smau
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chapter five - dreams✏️
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warning: mentions of insanity, insomnia, and partial (very very small mention) of derealization!!
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a/n: from now on soul from p1h and mingyu from svt will also be smaller characters in the story so don’t be confused when they show up randomly in the next chapter!! they are just going to be a fun comedic relief characters :) i will put a short character reintroduction before the next update
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you have struggled with sleeping your entire life. never being able to fall asleep and then when you eventually pass out from pure exhaustion, the sleep was restless. you lost count of the doctors your parents took you to as a kid. each one coming to the same conclusion. there was nothing wrong with you perse. at least, nothing medically wrong. all of them told your parents that you'll grow out of it one day. that there was nothing they could do on their part besides run more tests that would evidently draw no conclusion and would just be a waste of time for both you and the doctors.
so you had to learn to live with it. you held onto hope that one day you would just magically grow out of it. but as the years drew on and you continued to sleep a most 10-15 hours a week, you just grew used to it. it was irritating most of the time. the constant drowsiness and dark circles under your eyes that never seem to go away.
due to your lack of sleep, you’ve never really had dreams before. at least, none that you could remember.
but recently that has changed. it seems now that every time you are able to sleep, even if it is just for a few minutes, you are drifted away into another dream.
but something is different about these dreams. when you wake up, you remember everything that happened in them. most importantly, you remember the boy that’s there in every dream. the boy you can’t seem to recognize. the boy you sworn you’ve never seen before. and you would surly remember him. he’s beautiful. his hair a white blonde and his brown eyes that look as if the entire universe is in them. and for someone you don’t know, you have grown quite fond of him. you don’t understand how he’s always there, his bright and warming smile welcoming you back to wherever this world is with him. but you aren’t complaining about it.
the dreams are long. or well they feel long at least. in the real world you could only be sleeping for 30 minutes but in the dream world you have already been there for days. you like the dream world. you find yourself anxiously waiting for the next time you fall asleep so you can go back there. so you can see mystery boy again.
neither of you ever bothered to ask for each others name. in fact, you guys don’t talk much. it’s more of a mutual understanding that you both are there together and are happy in each others presence. neither feeling the need to break the peaceful silence you have created. you cherish all of the times you guys have spent together. from the time you guys went cliff jumping to when he taught you how to play the guitar. you’re scared that you won’t be able to go back one day. that for some reason the next time you fall asleep there will just be black. even if you don’t understand why these dreams are happening or who he is, you yearn for them. even if it’s all fake. if it is just something your subconscious mind came up with.
of course, you haven’t told your friends about your dreams. sure, jisung might understand. or at least try to. but the others will just think you’re going crazy. which honestly, might be true.
you too have thought about the possibility of these dreams being some sort of sign of insanity or something else of the sort. it would make sense. you’ve been spreading yourself too thin for the past few months. never knowing when to say no and always wanting others around you to feel appreciated and happy. minho is constantly berating you for being a people pleaser, but you don’t know how to stop. and lately, people have taken notice of your kindness and the way you would drop everything instantly to help someone. between work, university, and your social life, you feel your grasp of yourself slowly slipping away from you.
the only thing that keeps you from losing your grip completely are the dreams. they make you feel happy and safe like before. maybe you were relying too much on the dreams but what does it matter? if you're going to have them you might as well enjoy them. enjoy him.
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you got to the studio before chan this time. still reminiscing on the fantasy you were living just moments before.
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<<<prev masterlist next>>>
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lesbianaang · 2 years
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something really intriguing to me as i’ve been researching queer victorian literature is the long-running thread between bram stoker and oscar wilde. although it’s not clear exactly when stoker started writing dracula, many historians place it about a month after the end of the wilde trials.
stoker never said anything explicitly about the outcome of the trials or wilde and his works himself, which is interesting as they both a.) grew up in prominent families in ireland, where their families often attended one another’s parties; b.) went to the same college at the same time, and were in some of the same clubs; c.) courted the same woman, whom stoker eventually married, although wilde continued to be a presence in her life; and d.) moved to england around the same time and became writer contemporaries, running in the same circles in the literary world, as well as in the theater world! this is especially notable as most of stoker’s closest friends DID comment on the wilde trials at the time, often expressing how upset they were with the outcome and sharing support for wilde when most of london despised him.
it’s also notable that stoker likely spent at least some time in victorian queer spaces, as there’s plenty of evidence of his deep, loving relationships with hall caine (whom dracula is dedicated to) and henry irving (the often cited inspiration for dracula himself). not to mention his love letters to walt whitman, which seem to depict stoker fighting against his own repressed emotions and his admiration for whitman’s relatively unshackled freedom with his sexuality. at the same time, however, years later stoker also published articles on the importance of censorship in fiction and stage plays, specifically citing “deviancy” and “indecency” (code for queer sexuality) as topics which should not be addressed in proper society.
i think most literature-enjoyers these days are aware of the reading of dracula/vampire literature as a metaphor for queer sexuality, but i think this specific context of the wilde trials, where wilde’s (for the time) fairly flamboyant, unabashed approach to his queer sexuality was met with public humiliation and exile, adds a lot to this context. if wilde represents the “new homosexual,” where engaging in queer acts now has implications on fundamentally WHO you are, then stoker in contrast is the queer old guard, where he is fully closeted, not drawing attention to his sexuality, and keeping the act of gay sex/attraction separate from his fundamental identity.
in other words, i think dracula the novel could be read as dracula, a monstrous creature with great powers that are relegated to the shadows and shunned by christian society, feeding upon and transforming others into demonic beings such as himself, being hunted down by ABRAHAM van helsing, who himself is widowed but with great admiration and love for the men around him. dracula, who evokes in van helsing awe of his abilities, disgust of what he does to others, and pity over who he is, is the semi-out victorian homosexual that must be eradicated from this world by the virtuous (and closeted) van helsing.
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randomfoggytiger · 23 hours
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Dreamland II: Golf Clubs, Diana Fowley, and Mulder's Father
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(Courtesy of: @theparadigmshifts)
Dedicated to @goodshipsmulder~
I started out this post trying to draw parallels between Mulder's golf clubs and his past relationship with Diana. Yet, nothing about the Fowl One screamed "golf" or even upper-class country club to me; not enough, at least, for Mulder to spend money on and continually reuse a pair of clubs at her insistence.
However, I stumbled into another entirely other theory-- one that connects directly back to the late Bill Mulder.
Here we go~
DIANA FOWLEY, GOLF CLUBS, AND ORIGINAL THEORIES
Diana Fowley and golfing don't seem to fit in the same sentence: ease and relaxed calculation doesn't quite jive with bold and determined manipulation.
She's career driven: her work ethic caught the eye of the Consortium either before or after she and Mulder discovered the X-Files; and she took trips back and forth from Europe to Tunisia weekly to report her findings. Not to mention, she and Mulder were partners during his first couple months to first year on the files (if my timeline is accurate), and she's shone to fix his singular focus more firmly to "the work" in service of her own end goals. Diana's compliments and wheedling in The End imply she's not slackened her pace years later, and that she believes she can pick right up where Scully left off and do more and do it better.
Perhaps she and Phoebe Green were sporty types, more inclined to low cardio workouts to keep active and in shape. This would be an interesting juxtaposition to Scully (a tomboy Navy brat who had better things to do than hit horsehide with a stick); meaning, she lacked the sporty inclination of Mulder's previous exes.
Or, perhaps, the golf clubs are another manifestation of Mulder's fleeting interests after moving back stateside. Perhaps he took it up briefly, memories of his blueblood years leading him to that low impact sport first before he switched to swimming (maybe golfing was too mind numbing or it wasn't mind-numbing enough with other people interrupting his focus.)
Perhaps he took it up because Diana suggested it; or maybe he was trying to "find himself" in the wake of Phoebe cheating or Diana leaving.
However, speculations with maximum Fowley influence don't quite fit into the timeline suggested by the room's "design."
WHAT WE KNOW
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(Courtesy of: @amplifyme)
What we do know is: the bed had to be the first neglected item in this room, surrounded as it is by piles of boxes, knickknacks, and junk. The golf clubs were a more recent addition-- more to the front of the line-- and look older and used. There is also upturned plastic totes, old boxes separate from the neat storage boxes in the back, a basketball hoop, a punching bag, a bowling pin-- all a bit used-- and Cougar's sports memorabilia, as well as fuzzy dice, a flat bat or rowing paddle, and newer magazines and file folders.
The bedframe is blocked in by boxes and junk on three of its sides, meaning it was the first item placed into this room. Next to it are boxes stacked professionally, and high. It's unlikely that Mulder would have done so neat a job. And the overturned totes, sports gear, and assorted mess are more recent additions-- hastily packed or thrown together, toppling and spilling out easily with one swing of the door: in other words, Mulder's work.
Thus, the stages are revealed.
The bedframe was placed first; at an undisclosed time later, the boxes were professionally placed around it; and at an undisclosed time after that, Mulder chucked in at least two totes, a lamp (he wedged into the second layer of boxes), fuzzy dice, and sports gear on top of a pullout or loveseat or fabric chair. The golf clubs fall into that addition. And lastly but also undisclosed (and likely on-going), he stuffed in light, assorted papers or shirts or whathaveyou he was too lazy to put away properly right then.
Let's break this down in layers.
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EXAMINING THE EVIDENCE: BEDFRAME, BOXES, AND TIMELINES
The bedframe and boxes must be tackled first.
His bedframe is empty (though intact) and neatly set aside in the corner of the room. That seems to be stage one of unpacking and rearranging-- meaning, in my opinion, Mulder crammed the boxes in right after his and Diana's relationship ended. Mulder chooses smaller spaces to sleep (the couch, the bed he bought after Monday); and he also tends to collect but never unpack his hoarded loot. Those boxes can't be casefiles from the FBI since they'd never let him keep them longer than required for a case; and his most treasured valuables are kept in the basement, anyway. Leaving one to believe they're his belongings: things he brought over from Oxford (if he did) or things he bought after moving out of the dorms.
And when was Mulder no longer living in dorm rooms? Post his education, likely around the time he and Diana were dating.
Two theories present themselves: Mulder's things were moved from Diana's apartment after she left, and he never unpacked them; or Mulder himself recently moved into this apartment after Diana left.
The latter would have to mean he had somewhere else to live for the five years he and she were together. However, there's a few in-canon points that negate this theory, broadly pointing to a close or working relationship that spanned two apartments rather than one house:
Mulder tells Scully in Home that if he could "settle down" it'd be "in a place like this." Settling down, in his case, meant the home as well as the environment-- living in that location with those people in that kind of a house was still a fantasy without any tempered reality. Mulder would have lived in his parents' home on the Vineyard then in dorms in Oxford and back in other dorms in the States. Afterwards, the commute to the FBI would have excluded a house if in included his focus; and both he and Diana were very focused on work back then. To Mulder, owning a house was still a fantasy, not yet a practical reality, something he associated fondly with better days and better dreams for the future.
On top of that, Mulder is out of place in houses or suburbia, neither fitting in nor feeling in his own skin when prancing about in Arcadia. Yes, he was proving a point to the neighbors (and to Scully); but he wasn't comfortable there: it was too much, too spacious, too empty; and he found corners to wedge himself into-- hopping up on cabinets, hedging himself in with pillows, cramming in a chair up close to the door instead of other manners of surveillance, etc. (That's an entirely other meta post.) Mulder displayed discomfort above and beyond "proving a point": he wasn't used to the "stereotypical American life"-- he was weirded out by the austere space of it.
Mulder is further unsettled by suburbia in Amor Fati: in that case, he has command of his actions (to an extent), doesn't have to play to "the rules", has his sister, and is (seemingly) largely in charge of his life. And yet, it's "too perfect", leaving him to wonder why he's there. Mulder wasn't surprised to see Diana sweep in and seduce him (post here)-- he was shocked when she not only embraced a slower-paced life but wanted to also further domesticate it.
In Mulder's mind, settling down included a home and kids-- whether it was he and his sister riding bikes and eating bologna sandwiches or a distorted view of Diana wanting his babies and raising his sons-- and a rest from constantly running. Permanence. He looked upon it whimsically, not cynically or longingly like he would if he'd tried his best at that vision and failed (i.e. bought a home, had a "life", and lost it to work.)
In evidence of this, Mulder is shocked when Diana returns-- but not hardened against her or drawn back into a life with her. There are no ties beyond the past; and those ties weren't definitive enough for him to have closure or even completely sever, a classic Mulder move. There were five years between them; but nothing that would jeopardize or taint the idealistic world Mulder is trying to bring to fruition by recovering his sister and restoring that happy homelife lost to her abduction.
So, what does that mean for the bed and boxes? When Diana left, she probably emptied her apartment and sent over his share of the belongings-- assets of a partial but incomplete merger. Those stayed stored and cluttered around his bed while Mulder philosophically took the couch. They're not enough clutter to have filled a house, but more than enough to spill over into two apartments.
EXAMINING THE EVIDENCE: ASSORTED AND SPORTING ITEMS
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But that leaves the clubs, the bowling pin, the basketball hoop, the punching bag, the rest of the etc ceteras, and the totes stacked (read: jammed) frontside.
Compared to the Cougars jersey, the golf clubs, bowling pin, punching bag, basketball hoop, etc., appear older, used, and worn.
Turns out, the Cougars are a Houston football team jersey-- and where were Mulder and Scully recently during the opening events of Fight the Future? Despite not attending yet another football game together, it would be like him to pick up memorabilia that had special significance to him about them. If that be the case, Mulder, it would seem, associates Scully with football. Perhaps she prefers it to other sports (until baseball ranked higher up her list after The Unnatural, that is)-- in fact, that would make sense: part and parcel of the stereotypical, all-American Navy family raised on Thanksgiving meals and afternoon football.
Meanwhile, the golf clubs and other sports gear can't be a recent Mulder purchase-- not only because of their wear and tear, but also because of the extent of their wear and tear in contrast to the general lack of time Mulder has to devote to sports other than a morning swim, a once-in-a-while basketball game, and the sports tv he ingests come rain or shine. We've seen him shoot hoops (Paper Hearts, later Two Fathers), we've even seen him sink a bowling ball dead center (Elegy), but we've never seen him take up golf or boxing.
So, if they aren't recent purchases... what were they?
THE REMNANTS OF CHILDHOOD
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Bill Mulder was murdered in Anasazi and buried in The Blessing Way; but his house had to have been cleaned out and sold sometime after his death.
Tena Mulder always avoided peering into the past, avoiding it entirely whenever her son pressed her for memories (and ultimately burning her children's photos in Sein und Zeit to protect its secrets.) That leaves Mulder to pack up and sell or hire to have the house packed up and sold.
I believe the sports equipment was from his childhood. It would explain the wear and tear on the basketball hoop (referred to in a deleted Two Fathers scene here) and the bowling pin, as well as the presence of the unidentified sporting stick and fuzzy dice. (It would also explain why he stuck them with his new magazines and papers.)
But most importantly, I believe the golf clubs were his father's.
Golf requires a particular set of skills: silent calculation, strategic aim, and the ability to reposition oneself if the original swing goes wrong. While Mulder destresses through aggressive play (whether swimming alone or working alongside others he trusts will have his back) and Gibson Praise out predicts his competitor's next move and CSM plays by the blind hand of luck, Bill Mulder retires away from stress, decisions, and consequences, preferring to keep to himself (post here and here.) Preferring not to compete.
Perhaps the punching bag was Bill Mulder's, too: a solitary way to release his pent-up feelings of helplessness and rage.
CONCLUSION: A SEQUENCE OF EVENTS
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Diana moves to Europe; and Mulder either moves out of her apartment with the bedframe (minus mattress) and boxes or moves her boxes into his bedroom (and sells the mattress he might not have liked to begin with.)
Years later, his father dies. Mulder, a packrat at heart, can't let go of the happier times he connects with his childhood gear. Tena likely wouldn't want it cluttering up her already cluttered basement; so, he shoves it into his unused bedroom, stuffing them all to the left. In the tote closest to the door, he put his easily retrievable items (i.e. magazines, rumpled shirts, fuzzy dice, a few assorted bats, and miscellaneous filing folders) that he retrieves at will.
After Mulder's return from Houston, he opens the door and chucks in the jersey. However, it disturbs the balance of his haphazard system, beginning an avalanche that he quickly closes the door against. With the door in place, disaster is avoided, for now.
A few months after that, Morris Fletcher flings the door open and watches in appalled indignation as Mulder's junk spills onto the floor.
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
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deathnguts · 4 months
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Was listening to Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA and thinking about Kurogiri simultaneously because I’m always thinking about Kurogiri and some angst I can’t sum up in a silly drawing so:
‘The feeling that I’m losing her forever, without ever really entering her world’ made me think about Kurogiri slowly losing little Tenko to Tomura Shigaraki, then Tomura Shigaraki to All for One, because obviously. BUT what about Tomura Shigaraki losing Kurogiri to nomu-ification?
(Time frame evidence: Tenko was at least 6 when All for One found him since he was old enough to have passed the prime quirk developing age, his parents were worried he was quirkless. And Shirakumo was killed at about 15, and he was the same age as Aizawa who’s 30 now so we can assume 15 years went by)
Kurogiri barely had a few months to be developed, and Idk that doesn’t feel like enough time to animate a corpse, so my assumption is that he was developed incrementally.
Even if Tomura knew his caretaker was a nomu, how old do you have to be up to understand that the changes in their body and personality towards you are not only not their fault but also made FOR YOU. Whatever personality was there during the portion of his childhood he forgot are gone and never coming back, quite literally dead. ‘That funny little girl’ is dead and he never really knew him anyway. Or he didn’t know and just thinks his caretaker is either developing some form of personality disorder in real time or simply doesn’t like him that much. The warp gate guy is obviously knowledgeable enough to know he likes routine, he just doesn’t care enough respect that. He’s too emotional, Sensei was right he’s really just stupid.
The push and pull of their relationship is my Roman Empire because like, ‘Each time I think I'm close to knowing, she keeps on growing.’ Imagine every time they think they understand each other something horrific happens to them behind closed doors and they don’t have the communication skills or even the knowledge to tell one another.
Suddenly Kurogiri doesn’t like talking as much as he used to, suddenly Tomura Shigaraki is throwing things at Kurogiri when he’s angry instead of simply brooding like before. Kurogiri claims he doesn’t need to eat anymore, Tomura’s Shigaraki claims training his hands to be used to his quirk is more important than the comfort of his gloves. The gaps in their memories don’t line up and they have memories of each other that the other doesn’t. They’re forgetting each other’s faces because they barely take off their respective masks anymore.
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commanderpigg · 4 months
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Quote from 2022:
My goal for next year: just have fun drawing! Maybe I’ll learn new skills, maybe I won’t. But I hope I can make art that I’m actually proud of like I was this year. I sense another big life change is coming my way, because I can’t seem to avoid them, but at least I have art to ground me.
Past me, stfu about these life changes because BOOOII you have no idea what 2023 had in store for you...
A breakup, relocation, and many new experiences and life lessons--2023 was rough. I basically stopped drawing for 3 months after shit hit the fan in January (let me know if you ever want me to finish that cilan piece lol) and it's a miracle I have this many completed works. There's some stuff I haven't posted and a lot of incomplete sketches that may never see the light of day, but that's okay. True to my goal from 2022, I made art that I was proud of. I'm lucky to have ended my year on a good note, hugely thanks to the good vibes I was feeling from my friends IRL! In December, I even restarted my CSP subscription on my iPad and even completed the 30-day-OTP challenge I'd been doing for 10 years!
I use these summary of art posts as like my yearly therapy/reflection session. Probably because creating art is one of the few constants in my life, as well as one of my biggest passions, so to almost lose that passion again makes me rethink a lot of my priorities in life. I'm not completely satisfied with a lot of the pieces this year, but despite that, there was this desperation to keep trying--evident with the amount of full-color illustrations and finding a new muse in FFVII Aerith 🥰
I want to see my love of art reflected in next year's summary; whether it be through more completed long-time projects, more original art, or more experimentation. Also, improving my fundamentals like better anatomy, posing, lighting, etc. The future is uncertain, and the horrors persist...but so will I 😈
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queerlilchinchin · 5 months
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Write in Your Style Stream Q&A
Answering the questions posed in the interest form.
If you missed it, here is the announcement post for the streams.
--
Question: Does it have to be a full chapter of writing? Fanfiction submission, are they allowed? | Also! Love this idea :D | Are you matching people up based on submissions? or is it a free for all?
Answer: No, it wouldn't be a full chapter of writing. You are literally just rewriting the same thing that's written but in your own way. So if I said "she walked down the street, feeling sweat causing her shirt to stick to her chest; it was a blistery day, just the way she likes it," you could say "it was a steamy day. The kind she liked. The hot sweat that caused her shirt to stick to her body made it extra evident just how warm it was" or however else you would word that little segment of writing.
You're basically just rewriting what's written in your own writing style. It's like Draw in Your Style, but writing. No you wouldn't be paired up. I'm going to be making writing streams where I write a piece and then you all would be doing your writing based off of it. Later down the road, if I have weeks where I'm just not feeling the writing, I may open up to if writers want to submit their writing to use for the streams, but that probably wouldn't be for a little while.
Question: Will you be opening an actual submission thing on here or will we submit through ask? If the submission thing, is there is a tag you would like us to use?
Answer: I have created an actual blog for submitting your stuff to. It will be through submissions. Asks will be reserved for asking questions you may have about the particular stream's prompt or like... questions about the streams in general. The blog I created for all of this is @wiys-streaming. There is not a tag that'll be relevant since I won't be posting the submissions. At least not directly. They'll be read and shown on the streams.
Question: Will we have to be part of the stream? Or are you going to like, read what we wrote when you start the stream?
I actually did answer this in the official announcement post, but I'll answer again anyway. I will be reading them on the stream. I'll start with "these are the submissions from the last stream" and read the submissions along with whatever credit you want (and yes, you can request to remain anonymous if you'd prefer).
Question: How long are the games and streams gonna go on for?
Answer: I'm not sure if you just mean like... will they be an hour vs 30 minutes or if you mean am I going to be running them for months or a year or what, but I imagine they'll likely be closer to like 30-45 minutes. Not super long but not super short. And I'll probably do clips for youtube short and whatnot.
Question: Will the story or paragraph we’ll be re-writing come from you, an already established piece, or from one of the participants?
Answer: To start, me. If I run out of ideas or just need a break, then I may open it up for someone to submit their own writing for specific weeks. Maybe I'll do one month every 6 months where someone can submit their writing. Idk yet. But most of it will be me creating writing specifically for the streams (so it's not like writing from my wips or anything).
Question: I'd be curious as to the timing if we join, if we're submitting/commenting entries how long would we have to do so?
Answer: 2 weeks. I also have been tossing around the idea of having it be a month and having the first week be one prompt and the 3rd week be another and just going back and forth between those to enable writers to have more time, especially with the fact that your writing will be showcased. I'm leaning slightly to the side of the latter option.
Question: I'd like to know if this will be a monthly or weekly thing, or how often this event will happen. Thanks!
Answer: Bi-weekly. 1st and 3rd week of every month. It was originally going to be Tuesdays but as I'm starting a new job but have yet to get my new schedule and I stat the new job the day before I originally planned to start the streams, I'll have to change this. I just don't know what day to yet. :) I'll let you all know as soon as I know.
Question: What do you secifically mean by game/streams? When I post my work what's the process after, if you know what I mean?
Answer: this entire thing is just a stream that's me sharing a piece of short writing I've done and then writers recreating it in their own style. That's the entire thing, so that's what I'm talking about by "streams." I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're asking with this one. And there's not really a process. I read the submissions, share them on the stream and that's pretty much the process. The writers don't have to do anything other than write their own rendition of the piece I share and tell me what name they want to have credited and what (singular) website/profile they want linked to (tumblr, ao3, wattpad, fanfiction, etc).
I just wanted to end by saying thank you to all the sweet comments left on the interest form poll. :) there were many really nice comments, including one that almost made me cry because you're so sweet to be concerned that I take care of myself, even if it meant pushing this project back. Thank you guys for being so nice and considerate of me. :)
Anyway! Thank you for your patience and I hope this answered all of your questions. If you have anymore, please send them to my @wiys-streaming blog and I'll edit this post with any additional questions.
WiYS "tag me to everything" taglist: @nerd-in-distress, @jvten, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs (fyi, tumblr won't let me tag your other blog or I would have), @aether-wasteland-s, @mjrino, @cheezyratz, @accountusername, @perasperaadastrawriting, @mrblazeflappybird, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @mangofen, @bigwipscholar, @pluttskutt, @doublegoblin, @crazytechpersonzreal, @sitiart, @ashesinthewritten, @achildweanedonpoison6, @quotidian-oblivion, @world-of-my-imagination, @marmeegle, @alesseia
WiYS "tag me to important stuff" taglist: @distortedwhite, @lyssentome, @ah0yh0y, @grollow, @perlen-gold, @saltysupercomputer, @vshushmshu, @lordkingsmith, @gummybugg, @quisyop, @enne-uni, @cometkov, @shado48, @cryscal, @mary-is-writing, @elizababie, @squintclover, @schmem14, @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego, @wakkoroni, @author-a-holmes, @uncannyalien
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if-you-fan-a-fire · 6 months
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John Linton Palmer, Sketches of moai on Rapa Nui (Easter Island), Nov 1868, watercolour, Easter Island Album, F030/6 © RGS-IBG.
Above: ‘Inside the crater at Otu-iti’ (pencil annotation: ‘Published in Illustrated News’).
Below: ‘One of the images outside the Crater at Otuiti. These were generally in much better preservation than those elsewhere, the angles of the stone still sharp’.
"Linton Palmer’s later sketches indicate an enduring interest in forms of material culture, architecture and archaeology. In 1863, for example, he took leave from HMS Melville to travel for three weeks up-river from Canton with a fellow-doctor William Kane, Scots businessman James Banks Taylor, a missionary Orientalist (and the future Oxford Professor of Chinese) James Legge and his Chinese secretary Tsang Kwei-Hwan. Linton Palmer sketched Buddhist temples and pagodas along the way, although they were not included in a subsequently published account of the trip. Drawing was also to play a significant role in his later studies of the ethnology and geography of Rapa Nui, arising from HMS Topaze’s visit there in November 1868. Although he appears to have included drawings with a letter sent to England the following month, Linton Palmer’s account was published by the Ethnological Society without the drawings, as was another paper presented to the Royal Geographical Society. Nor did his sketches of the skulls (which were sent to Thomas Huxley) appear in print. At least one of his drawings from the Topaze was published in engraved form in the Illustrated London News before his return to London (20 March 1869), and other sketches may have reached wider public audiences in the same way.
...
Today Linton Palmer’s most well-known sketches are those he made on the island of Rapa Nui (Easter island) in 1868, during which one of the moai, Hoa Hakananai’a, was excavated from its underground resting place. The evidential quality of Linton Palmer’s writings on Rapa Nui have been questioned by later archaeologists, especially his supposed tendency to rely on what is regarded as hearsay rather than first-hand observation. However, his sketches of the sites of the moai and the marks upon them constitute a significant and in some respects a unique documentary record which still has value in archaeological study.
...
In view of the continuing debate amongst Rapa Nui specialists over the quality of Linton Palmer’s evidence, it is worth making two further points. The first concerns the place of accurate observation within his routine practice as a naval surgeon: it was his responsibility to observe the bodies of the crew, the condition of the ship and of the weather, and in this context precise documentation in multiple forms was essential. In a naval setting, moreover, the notion of isolated observation independent of ‘hearsay’ does not really make sense: here an observation which was not shared could not be tested or relied upon. The second point concerns Linton Palmer’s prior experience of archaeological survey which has hitherto been unknown. In fact, ten years before the Topaze voyage, Linton Palmer himself had undertaken the first field survey of the stone circle at Calanais (Callanish) in the Hebrides, just prior to its excavation..." - from Felix Driver, “Material memories of travel: the albums of a Victorian naval surgeon.” Journal of Historical Geography 69 (2020): 48.
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afarcryfrommymain · 9 months
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Far Cry OC Tournament Round 1A: Diana Baker v Dean Sinclaire
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About and voting undercut!
Diana Baker (@shallow-gravy)
About: Emotionally stunted, nihilistic 30-year-old bisexual with a guilt complex. Can’t be trusted to make good decisions. Shouldn’t have ever been allowed to be a cop. Sarcastic, impulsive and aloof, does not like it when people Know Her. Steals drugs from evidence lock-up and deep down feels the only thing she deserves is punishment but doesn’t know how to lay down and die quietly; hence her attraction to John Seed. She’s damn good with a gun though.
Does your OC have anything to share?: “Nobody backs me into a corner. I will fight and I’ll fight fucking dirty.”
Anything else we should know?: Pros: impulsivity means anything can be used as a weapon, but feels most comfortable with a firearm. Scrappy in a fight since she spent part of her youth on the streets / in a juvenile detention center. Comes across as “funny” and “cool” on a superficial level. Cons: not to be trusted as a friend or confidante because of poor decision-making skills; has a difficult time establishing close bonds, is just as likely to sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend if the opportunity arises as she is to beat the shit out of them for cheating on you. Scrawny frame means people often underestimate her but watch out.
Dean Sinclaire (@derelictheretic)
About: Dean Sinclaire is a Junior Deputy and he's a himbo adjacent golden retriever boy, he just wants to help people and maybe convince himself all hope isn't lost for the world. He never liked cop's and wouldn't go flaunting his occupation but he likes to think he's making a difference and keeping his department in line, especially when he arrests Joseph Seed despite Sheriff Whitehorses discouragement. Yeah maybe he brought on the apocalypse but at least he wasn't being negligent! Outside of work he likes creative arts and doing things with his hands, he picks up new hobbies every other month but consistently enjoys drawing, hiking and being bad at journaling. He's besties with Sharky, Hurk and the Ryes and is constantly partaking in shenanigans with his boys. Dean also used to cage fight so he's no stranger to a showdown with all types of opponents, once he steps into the pit it's game on and he won't stop until he or his opponent goes down! He can take a lot of hits and is good at making his opponent exert themself so he can go full in at the halfway mark and take em down.
Does your OC have anything to share?: "I'm honestly just hoping no one breaks my nose, I'd hate to look like my old man at the end of this. It's been a while since i've done a proper fight so here's hoping all that muscles memory kicks in, if anything i'll tire 'em out for sure."
Anything else we should know?: The boy is very hesitant to even playfight with friends or family so if he goes up against another deputy he might be screwed because he won't wanna hurt them even in a low stakes setting!
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jumpybox · 1 year
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Future Mikey back in time
cus I'm still on about it and have another version for it so far so here are mainly stuff that happened during it so far...I'm always up for questions/suggestions/ideas to implement! Either one day I write it or try drawing it...but writing seems more possible for me hehehe...anyway!
Michelangelo after using all his mystic powers to open the portal , somehow ends up going back in time himself
Yet its not with his own body, no, his energy and soul ends up in the Mikey from that time, and it ends up in a dormant state
Mikey during the following months starts getting nightmares of Michelangelo's future/past and his mystic powers getting stronger each passing day
At first Mikey hides it from everyone but after a sudden surge of the mystic making his arms hurt a lot, he admits to his family that he seemed to not be able to control it
Mikey soon starts getting lessons from Draxum
A few weeks after Mikey starts that, the boys get into a fight with a new mutant villain that can control plants (its a sort of butterfly mutant) 
During one of the attacks, Mikey gets thrown against a wall and gets knocked out for a few seconds
Its during that time that Michelangelo finally wakes up, opening the eyes of the body he was in, only to groan in pain 
Michelangelo during all that time had been awake and knew what was going on, if anything he feared that the body he was inside wouldn't be able to control more of the mystic power.
So while he gets help from Leo to stand up, Michelangelo decided to use his mystic powers to put a stop to the mutant.
Of course he uses them flawlessly but at the same time he had meant to do that to try and …
Michelangelo tries to stop existing, he was aware that he couldn't be a part of his younger self, it was unnatural, not how it should go.
If anything, he was pleased during those months to have been able to see Casey again, starting a new life as a normal teenager should….or as normal as someone with PTSD from an Apocalypse could be
And...he was glad to see the rest of his family, he really was, if anything he wished his Leonardo could see all of this.
The body he is in, suddenly starts to lose consciousness and he can feel part of the mystic power go out of it, at least with that Mikey will be able to slowly be able to control the mystic powers instead of being some kind of ticking time bomb because of Michelangelo.
The body faints once more and this time Mikey doesn't wake up after three days.
Michelangelo had thought that he would finally reunite with his family but instead he wakes up with a startle, coughing out water and feeling his whole body in pain and hard to move.
He questions himself if death is supposed to feel like that but once he opens his eyes, he is met with a pair of heterochromatic eyes that have tears in them.
"THANK THE ALL MIGHTY YOU ARE ALIVE MY CHILD!" The loud voice makes Michelangelo whine softly and he can hear the person holding him gasp and whisper 'sorry' before cradling him close to a chest.
And that was the first time Michelangelo met Yua ('binding love and affection') , a witch-yokai that had been experimenting for decades in the hope of being able to make a child of her own
So sue her, she might or might not have stolen Baron Draxum's idea(or papers, you can’t prove anything, everything exploded that time...she might or might not have also something to do with the lab destruction... Again, no evidence found) of super soldiers mutant and instead of soldiers, just trying to make a family for her own to raise.
Of course she wasn't really an expert or knew what was missing, but she had ended up successfully being able to create a mutant child, a Red Footed Tortoise type.
Sadly the poor thing didn't seem to have a conscious of himself and even seemed to be in a vegetable state, yet Yua refused to exterminate him, he was the first to  survive of many other types she had tried before.
So after 10 years of taking care of the body of her child (making sure of taking him out of the magic filled tank she would put him in to help with keeping his body stable, to move his limbs and exercise them) the moment she didn't think would happened, happened and that was the awakening of her child.
Of course she had been worried, she hadn't even attached the breathing gas before he took a deep breath and started to choke.
So that's how it had happened and Michelangelo or Asahi/Nikkō( 'sunlight'/'sunshine') was once more living and in a new body at that. 
He isn't sure how to feel about this second? Third? Chance in living but he guessed that he had to keep his family waiting for him for a bit longer, because he wasn't about to leave his new mom alone...stars, she was a mess and she needed him.
Nikko has to admit, the first few months he starts living with her are a bit hard on his poor body, after all, the muscles weren't fully there yet and as much as Yua copy Draxum's notes, she didn't exactly make a super soldier, sure, his body is regenerating but is not as fast as if he had been in his old body, still he is happy to slowly start moving or crawling around the first few months
And speaking! Its hard because again, this body didn't have the chance to speak during those 10 years
Its after a year of rehabilitation, love and dedication from Yua that Nikko(Michelangelo) can walk a certain amount(with help of a cane) and talk 
And Nikko has to admit, Yua is the best parent he has met in all his life...well Splinter was a good parent too but...not good good, if he had to be honest.
Yua is from Japan but moved to the hidden city many decades ago .Why? Because she just got bored and wanted a new change in her life...and maybe because she had done something that had her kicked out of her Clan.
Nikko tries to ask about the Family, Clan, but he can tell that it is some kind of a sore spot for his mom, so he instead enjoys listening to her when she talks about other stuff.
Imma keep writing more but honestly I would love more ideas! Also sorry if some phrases sound weird, I talk more in Spanish than in English, so my mind just translates some stuff weird lol
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blue-shiver13 · 9 months
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Doubt you’ll respond to this publicly, but at least you’ll read it.
It’s cool you like HeavyMedic and all, and it’s great that there’s a plethora of content both in Valve and fan created content around the ship, but it’s kinda shitty you bash other ships that also ship Medic with other mercs, like EngiMedic, on your Twitter.
Sure, it ain’t a canon ship and it’s not as popular, but why hate it for literally no reason other than you don’t agree with it? I quote from your Twitter post:
“I fucking hate engimedic and the amount of good drawings it has from its community. I don't give a fuck about anything you say about it it's not canon and it literally has some mild evidence of being abusive. Heavy and medic have no domination lines directed DIRECTLY at eachother”.
So just because it’s not canon and you think it’s abusive, in your opinion, it’s therefore invalid and deserves hate? Additionally, a lot of people don’t even push for EngiMedic as canon, they do it because they enjoy the ship, like many other ships. I personally don’t ship HeavyMedic, but I still like the art and content people make of the ship.
But to sit here and bash a group of people for liking a ship because it’s not canon, and basically saying it doesn’t deserve the good art it has because of that, is childish af. Honestly grow up man, there’s nothing to hate about it. It’s one thing to not like or support it, but to sit here and bash it because you think HeavyMedic is superior and the only ship that should exist is crazy stupid.
First off, I didn’t bash the group I bashed the ship. I’d rather people who ship it stay away from me due to what I say in my third point. I never said it deserves hate and all I did was give my personal opinion.
Second, that post was from 2 months ago during a time I was more unstable than I am now. I have changed and I’m more accepting of it even though it can still sometimes send me into a downward spiral. Thank you for setting me back by a long time, you’ve only fueled my instability and inability to accept other views more.
Third, I have trauma that links to engimedic to the point where at times my mental state has gotten worse from just knowing it exists. I know it sounds crazy but this is what happens when you’re someone who used to be chronically online and almost half of the people you knew were abusive as shit. Due to other parts of my trauma I am unable to see Medic shipped with anyone but Heavy.
Fourth, I am a neurodivergent minor. I am HIGHLY attached to my view of TF2 and other views make me INSANELY uncomfortable. My view of TF2 is a hyperfixation of mine that I have had for 3 years.
Fifth, you’re a coward for not doing an ask on your real account. if you don’t like me or my opinions then you don’t need to follow me or interact with me. But if you want to interact so badly like you obviously do, use your normal account and don’t hide behind an anonymous ask like a coward.
Sixth, YOUR view of TF2 is not less valid than mine but if it includes something in my DNI I just prefer you keep those headcanons away from me due to my attachment to my view of TF2.
Finally, I have a question for you.
Why me? Why don’t you go bother someone else who’s actually done things that matter? You can literally just block me if you don’t like me, so why bring this up to me? Do you want to “change me” and if so, you did a terrible job at trying.
Oh yeah I almost forgot.
The only other ship between medic and another merc I’ve publicly bashed is a literal proship between Medic and Classic Heavy, HIS FUCKING ABUSER. So if you want to say that I “bash other ships that also ship Medic with other mercs” you’re showing me you have a problem with me bashing a proship.
If you were only referring to engimedic then you would only refer to engimedic.
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thatfoxdog · 25 days
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY OCS!!
ik it's like- april fools day, the entire boop thing is going on, but I wanna just acknowledge the fact that four of my characters are officially a year old now
I haven't been on tumblr very long, and my characters (especially these ones) really don't have much of a presence since I rarely acknowledge them (thats a lie. two on the right i acknowledge quite a bit), but let me share my children with the world!!!
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I wanna go through all of their old designs and stuff and compare it with newer artwork, so let's go!!
(slight gore warning) First up is 001 (far left in image above)! His first design was made for an animatic I did about a year ago using the "Don't You Want To Be A Cult Leader?" audio. I believe this was supposed to be in the past, meaning he looks a little younger and different than he does up above. I really don't like the art for this one. I'll have to redo that animatic later. (Bonus: guy on left is 004)
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Most recent art of him is from a couple months ago I believe? His colors are (again) a little off for the sake of artistic liberty, and I was definitely- definitely not obsessed with "Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boingo while drawing this. I think his design definitely has improved. The stupidly large jaw scale things on his face in the above one were sized down significantly and reshaped for two reasons: 1. I just didn't like the old ones. They looked weird. 2. lore reasons!! I definitely understand his character more now than I did a year ago.
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Ah, 004 (second to the left in first image)! My old man! How you've changed! I never gave him a proper ref originally, and I, evidently, did not know how to draw hands (and still barely know how!). I cleverly had hidden them away from the world. His design- just- ew. Mainly his hair was an issue for me. I think I originally really didn't like his face shape either? And honestly, old 004's design's face shape still kinda bother me. At least, on him. I could totally steal that face shape now for another character, since its changed. Oh yeah, his weird cheek-beard-mustache-thing was also an issue of mine then. Now, it's kinda part of his character. If he lacks a cheek-beard-mustache-thing, is he really 004?
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More recent 004 art! I have two pieces for him since his most recent one was him in a different outfit (that being a suit), but I wanna have it here since it is the most recent art of him. Ignore the guy in the purple vest. He's not there, I assure you. My, how he's changed, gosh. I didn't even realize it until now. His face is nearly entirely different, his little cheek-beard-mustache-thing is more defined, his hair is more spiky and pointy. What a man! I don't really have all that much more to say on him without spoiling stuff for his character in my fanfic with @brynthatalien (Fangs and Diamonds on ao3), but look at the man go!! I can say, however, that his character and lore have definitely improved since his original creation :]
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Lastly, I'll be grouping them together since I don't have any individual art of them: 013 and 024 (right in first image)! Fun fact: These characters were originally never meant to be together! 013 (tan hair lady) was purposefully made when I originally created these four, while 024 (pink vest guy) was actually a complete throwaway character who ended up being one of my personal favorite side characters. If you've read Fangs and Diamonds, you probably know these guys by now. Anyway, starting with 013, I really don't like her clothes in this. They were supposed to resemble Vorta clothing. The nick in her ear is not very obvious, and her nose just... looks odd. 024, on the other hand, I really don't have much to say. His hair shape looks kinda like ketchup that's just been put out of the bottle. his expression's weird in his, and his hand makes no sense. Actually, both their hands suck, but we all start somewhere.
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(gore warning again!!) Unfortunately, this is the most recent art i have of them, and its from a few months ago (I swear I can draw side angles now... sort of) (anatomy has barely improved) (hair texturing has significantly improved!). I really should begin drawing them more. Their designs still need updating!! Especially 013's clothes! Holy crap, her clothes have been updated several times and still don't meet my standards 😭 However, their lore has definitely been more developed from what they originally were! Particularly 013, not so much 024. 024 still needs some help in that aspect. I don't think really that much has changed about their design aside from making 024 shorter (originally was 5'2" I think, but he's now 4'11") and 013 taller (originally 5'7", now 5'11"). I have a weird relationship with... well, their relationship, but I digress.
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Man, I genuinely cannot believe its been a year. These four have changed so much since when I originally created them. Happy first birthday to my idiots <33333
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merwynsartblog · 3 months
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Question. What do you mean by "I dealt with some shit online." I have been a little bit curious when i saw that in your pinned post. You do not need to tell if you do not want to.
Its fine dont worry lmao im just gonna warn you its a long ass ramble on what happened. there will be a tldr thing in the bottom since this is gonna be a biggg ass ramble. Tw for accusations on pedo/grooming + manipulation + mentions of the world war 2 causing guy
a lil insight on what happened before this shit happened. (this was on another website) there was a person (we gonna call them oliver tree fan) who was caught drawing nsfw of the ww2 causing guy on a alt acc with someone else. the person who caught them was actually a ex of mine (we gonna call them "M") M vented to me about it since the other person who was on the alt acc used to be a friend of M. I never liked oliver tree fan. they harrassed many of my friends and was just a shitty person in general. i called the oliver tree fan out since the website was pretty small and everything was silent for a lil bit. Then oliver tree fan started harassing M. ANDDDD OOOOO BOY that made me pissed. But i knew Oliver tree fan was trying to start shit so i ignored them and tried to help M. Then oliver tree fan decided to go to my acc later on and said "im gonna block ya now" i was very pissed since it didnt make sense to me and i vague posted about them THIS MADE OLIVER TREE FAN VERRYYYY ANGRY. so what did they do? they made a callout post randomly on me. Basically the callout post was about me being a groomer/predator and how weird it was for me to like characters from shows and how i was manipulative to my friends and i was dating a close friends partner and that i was faking my age bc i didnt look 16 (she had a face pic of mine </3 also yeah this was like. near 2 years ago) I did had faults. i did do stupid shit. im not gonna deny that. i dated a 10 year old when i was 14 i wasnt sexual but it was still fucking wrong. i have cut contact with them a long while ago but around a year ago i did apologize to them. that was a shitty thing to do. i did treated some of my friends very shitty. and i take full fucking blame for that. i apologized to them and we made up. but since. it was a small website. many people believed i was this shitty person and i deserved to go to jail and shit. i panicked to my friends and basically had a big old panic attack that night. oliver tree fan then decided "hey! ill delete the callout if you friend me on discord and talk to me" and i did just that. oliver tree fan basically made me BEG. to have the callout taken down. telling me i was in the wrong i didnt deserve shit. then asked me to delete callouts/screenshots. i did that and then they decided "hey now we friends :D". we also made a deal not to talk shit about eachother AND. not to M. (since around this time M lost someone VERY important in his life in a awful fucking way.) i felt so uncomfy and terrified but i couldnt talk back to them or else i was scared i would get "called out" again. i was added into groupchats that was dissing on my friends and alot of other shit. they kept talking shit to me. to my partner at the time and alot of others. they were very 2 faced and fucking awful to me and many others. i didnt get the worst of it and it was just.. vfnjcnjdcs god fucking awful. many people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty mother fucker. and if you see this oliver tree fan (bc i know you stalk me </3) fuck off. legit your a fucking awful person. made me fucking scared for my fucking life for at least 4 months. you made me feel like utter garbage. i really hope you get what you deserve. tldr: Oliver tree fan was a shitty person to me and M (partner at the time now they are a ex of mine) decided to call me out and call me a pedo/groomer manipulator and other shit when i called them out. many people believed Oliver tree fan. they manipulated me into deleting evidence. we made a deal not to talk shit about eachother. ofc they talked shit and treated M and others like shit. then people figured out Oliver tree fan was a shitty person.
hope this made sense
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mik-ro-kosmos · 2 years
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the zombie essay that no one on here asked for. i wrote this in my notes app, icl.
tiktok - mik.ro.kos.mos
why do we want twd zombies over any other zombie if a zombie apocalypse were to take place in real life?
the following essay will be a list of points answering this question in the best and most clear way my mind can think of. tbh, this is literally just a dump of all my thoughts and i can’t actually remember shit so yk, if i get some parts wrong, don’t hold it against me.
first of all, let’s think of some zombie shows and movies we’ve seen. the last of us, all of us are dead, the maze runner series, sweet home, zombieland, train to busan, etc.
1. the last of us.
SUCH A GOOD GAME IT’S INSANE. i can’t wait for the show i’m gonna lose my shit. anyway. the zombies in the last of us scared the shit out of me the first time i played. they’re scary and hard to defeat because of all the stages.
stage 1, runners. they literally sprint after you. i’m sorry but no. i did NO sports in school, i sat out in every p.e. lesson, there is no way i can run from something that is literally out to get my blood. the upside to this is that they’re weak, but considering they can run, it’s not much of an upside.
stage 2, stalkers. they’re blind and and hide in places and wait to jump out at you and tear you apart. as if the running wasn’t bad enough, these guys literally wait to feast on you when you least expect it.
stage 3, clickers. completely blind but can HEAR YOU. they have a load of fungi on them so it makes it harder to kill them. i don’t wanna go close to them, how the fuck do you expect me to be able to kill it when it’s hard to kill???
stage 4, bloaters. they turn into bloaters after years. tbh, i don’t wanna be in a apocalypse for years, i just wanna see if i can survive the first few months. never wanna cross paths with these guys. covered in fungal, gives them strength, hard to kill and shoot out spores which can damage you. yeah, no thanks. you have take them down with like, fire and that. i can’t do that. literally can’t.
stage 5, shamblers. they give off spores too, but the spores follow them around so you can’t get close to them meaning you would have to use a bullet but i don’t wanna use a bullet because i don’t wanna draw any more to me. you see my pickle?? also, as someone who lives in the uk, i have no idea where you can find gun stores, in fact i’ve only ever seen one in my life. all i have to fight with are bats ;), and knives. maybe a rolling pin. that’s it.
stage 6, rat king. this is more like, in game fun, but if the za were to happen like tlou, the rat king would be very much plausible after years. literally a zombie made up of loads of different zombies. you literally have to throw everything you have at it and i’m not even kidding. but yeah, hopefully this would be most unlikely.
for this point, i’d like to conclude by saying that these zombies are increasingly hard to kill. if a za happened, and it was zombies like this, i’d actually kill myself, i wouldn’t even give myself a chance. no sir. no thank you.
2. all of us are dead
obsessed with this show since the moment i watched it. there wasn’t an episode where i didn’t cry. had me sobbing every single time.
i don’t want these zombies because of the way that they turn. bones literally snapping out of place and then snapping back. neck?? arms??? legs?? back??? no thank you. it’s just creepy, and the sounds they make. just no. and then they get up and just scream and run.
they sprint. i will not be doing sprinting, that’s a no fucking go.
i would say the only upside to their changing is that you can clearly tell when they’ll change because you can literally hear their bones breaking, and i’d say that’s enough time to run or throw them out a room. also, the nosebleeds are evidence enough. i’ve watched enough korean television to know that when you get a nosebleed you can get the fuck out.
another thing i liked about aouad is the explanation they gave for the zombies. my man said that the infected person feels an extreme amount of fear and that’s why they attack. now, i may not have been paying enough attention to others, or maybe i just forgot (because i did watch all these older zombie stuff when i was really young) but that’s a sick fucking explanation bro. like, they’re so scared they attack to ensure their safety. sick. love it.
anyway, i don’t want these zombies because of how fast they are.
3. the maze runner
let me let you in on a little secret. the maze runner books were the first ever book series i read in its entirety. it was my first fucking love and i will not tolerate any slander. and i watched the movies and newt rocked my little world, forever a simp for thomas sangster. anyway.
the first book and movie have a little thing where someone who gets stung by a griever (like an enormous mechanical spider) kind of goes into a seizure and then all their veins become really vivid and they start thrashing around, and for me i think it’s a little zombie like. just like, zombie in the idea of what happens as the infection infiltrates your brain and you start to become infected.
anyway, there’s those guys, but the scorch trials is where we really get some action. i will fucking tell you right now, when i first watched the movie, jumped right out my fucking skin at the mall scene with the zombie behind the fence sort of thing. after watching it so many times tho, i realised that in the background with the zombie woman is like a teddy bear, and teresa finds a picture of a little girl with (i’m pretty sure it was) the same teddy
:( but you know, that means the girl was put in there really young and then just grew up a zombie, it’s literally so sad.
right, anyway, these zombies don’t sprint, no, they’re fucking usain bolt. on some jessica ennis type shit and i am not down for it. they run so fast, and some of them fucking talk. ‘rose took my nose i suppose’ okay?? i literally don’t fucking care just please don’t eat me???? am not here for it, never was.
will never be wanting these zombies in a za because they’re scary as shit and have no fear. nope.
4. sweet home.
i know, i know, these guys aren’t technically zombies, but i put them here because it is a zombie apocalypse type show. i don’t want these guys because the person turns into whatever they desire the most. so every person that turns is completely different, which means you have to fight a load of different, hard to defeat monsters. they can talk, which is just creepy. nearly all of them are cannibalistic, and are sensitive to sound. they don’t attack each other, in fact, there’s a part where a monster can evolve and will be protected by other monsters that haven’t evolved. these guys are completely devoid of emotion. monsters can recover from almost all injuries and some are regenerative. when they spit, it burns flesh and skin.
symptoms are a nosebleeds (and when i say nosebleed i don’t mean a lil iddy biddy one, i mean it literally gushes, it’s like an open wound, like someone’s literally split you open, there’s so much blood), fainting and hallucinations. and it’s the fucking hallucinations that turn you into a monster. you have to like, try and resist the entity but it’s hard, yk?
also, the human part of the monster is locked away in a dreamworld. imagine knowing that your friend is still in there somewhere, they just can’t get out. when all their desires are fulfilled, they literally cocoon and become an evolved being. don’t feel emotion, completely naked, and all the monsters will protect them. literally like gods to the monsters. they can also force someone to become a monster even if the person isn’t showing symptoms. just, i don’t wanna meet these guys, but at the end of the day, hyun-su is hot.
evolved humans can be killed in a human way tho, so upside??? maybe???
these guys are creepy, hard to kill and i just KNOW that i would not survive. i felt bad for the woman tho who lost her kid, she wasn’t a monster. :(( check out my edit for sweet home tho, it’s sick and totally flopped.
5. zombieland.
okay so i watched this just because i was interested in zombies and it’s more of a comedy then a proper good zombie film which is okay. i did enjoy it fr. i’d say these zombies are pretty normal and if you follow that mark zuckerberg guys rules then you have nothing to worry about
6. train to busan
again, these guys are one of the first zombies you think of. not much going on other than the basic sprinting and biting. here’s the thing tho, korean horrors are so fucking good. they’re so terrifying that just looking at those zombies gave me chills. literally every show in the world needs to amount to the type of brilliance korean television has. so fucking good.
i don’t want these guys cause they’re fast, and the closer the bite is to the brain, the quicker you turn. turning can also take a few seconds to a few minutes so i feel like it’s not enough time to run.
7. the walking dead :)))
where do i even start? first, i cannot WAIT for the last episodes. i fucking adore this show, i can’t wait to watch everyone pop off (iykwim). seriously, so good
the zombies in twd stroll. they wake up and think it’s a beautiful day for some brains, i think i’ll take a walk around, see what i find and hey, if i find anything, so be it. in all the 11 seasons of the show, the walkers only evolved once, and that was like, end of season two where you realise that it doesn’t matter how you die, you’ll turn anyway, and that everybody is infected. all of them can be killed with a wallop to the head. all you need to do is kill the brain, you can use a gun, an arrow, a knife, a machete, a bat ;), what ever the hell you want, just destroy the brain you know what i’m saying?
easiest fucking zombies. they don’t run. massive win. and the whole point of the twd was to show that actually, walkers weren’t their worst enemy, and it was in fact people. yk, what people can do, everything that we’re capable of, how the za can detrimentally effect you. we already battle with a lot of this in today’s society, in a za it would just be amplified.
twd zombies are most desirable when it comes to a real life zombie apocalypse because they don’t run, they don’t evolve, they’re easily killed, turning takes within instantly and 8 hours to a day, they can’t talk and the symptoms are easy to notice.
——
as i upload this i’m watching the last of us and it just does not get old. anyway, hope you enjoyed this. twas just an insight into the mess that is my brain. :))
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realcatalina · 1 year
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Family portrait of Henry VIII
I know I promised you doing the pearl necklaces, but to do them correctly, I need detailed chronology of 1540-1560 portraits. Tbh, it might take months and certainly would not fit in single post to explain all of it. Hence I’ve decided that to instead give you little tidbits of what I found.
So here is why this portrait was NOT done in 1545.
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It is located in Hampton Court and is part of  Royal Trust Collection, on their webpage dated as c.1545.
But other webpages instead give it c.1543-1547 dating. Why?
Well Edward is no baby in there, it is not by Holbein(who died in 1543) and Elizabeth and Mary are included-suggesting this portrait is to  mark their newly found place in Succession, which occured in July 1543. Hence the dating is stretched between 1543(succession change) and and 1547(Henry VIII’s death), and the middle of that estimate(middle value of that range) is used by Royal Collection trust.
1545 is middle value between 1543-1547. 
(If it was during Edward VI’s reign, Edward’d be much older, and probably in the centre of the painting instead of his father.)
 However most fans think that c.1545 means it is max 1 year away from 1545(1544-1546) or even strictly that year, just 1545.
But of course when professionals use this sort dating, theirs estimate(placing it in middle of assumed range) and mine won’t always match!
I am nitpicker. If there is any evidence as to where to that range portrait belongs to, I will find it. I will find evidence which will say-oh it is towards beginning of this range or towards end of this range. Or-i found no evidence of it meaning towards the ends of this range-so it probably is in middle of the range.(or i don’t know then). 
They assume it is after succesion was officially changed in July 1543. But I think it is actually likely to have been done before July 1543. 
(Henry VIII probably needed to get it through parliament first, but his intention for it could have arised much earlier. )
But still possibly that year-1543. Just different half of it. 
My estimate is 1542-1543(1st half of it) and there are several  reason why I think it way more likely: 
Number 1: Edward’s matching in fashionstyle his portraits done in 1542/1543 by Holbein:
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Unfortunately only copies survive but give you good idea of fashion he wore around that age. There is surviving drawing by Holbein which was likely ment for another original(clasps are across chest) but face is just the same. Faces of little kids change so rapidly, so it should be him around same age.
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And even if we stretched dating to max. Holbein could only paint and draw Edward up to November 1543, a month after Edward would turn 5. Still small kid.
Number 2: Size of both sisters and size of Edward
Mary was notably short. Elizabeth was on at least higher average. I am notably short myself. Do you know how many 12 year olds have outgrew me? More like which didn’t?’ Plenty of 10 year olds are my height, or already taller than me.
If Elizabeth was 12(c. 1545 dating), she and her sister should have much smaller height difference. 
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If we assumed Mary was about 5′ tall as adult(based upon average height of Tudor woman being 5′2′’), then Elizabeth’s height would be around 4′4. She could be as young as eight years old in the painting. Hence 1541 even, but let’s look at rest of evidence.
If we put Edward next to his sisters:
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Then he is around 3′8′’. So given he was on tall side, he should be around 5. Possibly even younger. (Depending also on how short was Mary, if she was bellow 5′0′’, he could be even younger, but probably max 4)
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Bear in mind that reports of Edward being bellow average height probably come from beginning of his reign and he died aged only 15 and probably never reached his full potential height.
Number 3-Fashion
Fashion wise it also doesn’t fit Catherine of Parr’s time as Queen. Already in 1544 Mary I had undersleeves with 5 cuts style(5 visible cuts). Here we have the previous style(which in this case shows 4 cuts, but usually angle allows only for 3 to be visible). The wastelines also support ealry 1540s, max.1544, but probably not the later date because of how rounded their french hoods appear.  
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There is also small gap in middle of the skirt, revealing too much of forefront(look at jane bellow).  Usually it is Elizabethean detail of fashion(and big mistake in Henrician fashion), but also very briefly appears in some of the early 1540s depictions(though i am not sure if it isn’t just one painter in Holbein’s workshop whose hand went bit off), and then it disappears from Tudor fashion and triangular shape is restored, probably under Parr’s influence. 
Number 4: Jane Seymour is depicted
Art historians are always like-oh, Henry VIII was so horrible for not including Catherine Parr(his supposedly then  Queen) and choosing mother of his son instead. He was obsessed with cult of Jane and mistreated Parr!
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Now let’s not be biased as hell and let’s look at other more likely explanation.
The portrait was probably done in time when Henry VIII didn’t have a consort. So from all his past wives he chosen mother of his heir. It’s logical!
And that means, it’d have to be painted after Howard’s death, but before Henry VIII married Parr. (It cannot be between Jane’s death and Anne of Cleves arrival. Kids are not that small!)
Hence between February 1542 and July 1543.  It fits in every aspect. 
Mary would be 26-27, Elizabeth would be 8-9 and Edward 4-5 years old.
Being done before Holbein’s death could explain why his influence in the painting is so notable. Perhaps he overlooked design, but another painter eventually finished it. After all Holbein towards end of his career was overlooking entire workshop of artists.
 It’s possible he foucused on single portraits, while others did larger ones/group ones but admitably Holbein did Whitehall mural, so it doesn’t stand to strutiny. But it could be the case that Holbein became sick before portrait could be finished. Perhaps he did just sketches for the painting and another painter finished it. However if painting was 2nd half of 1543 it would not explain why would there be Jane instead of Parr.
But had it been done in 1st half of year 1543, it could still be without Parr. 
It is speculated Holbein could have died suddenly, perhaps of plague or some infectious disease, because one posthumous portrait of Queen Jane was abandoned in very last stage of making and never finished.
But we cannot exclude possibility that his health got progressively worse throughout 1542-1543 and that he was sick several times during those years, and the last illness just finished him off. (It happened a lot in those days,that not the first illness was what kill you. You still weren’t recovered and another illness lurked around the corner.)
Then of course somebody else in the workshop would pick up his work, perhaps still being adviced by him about it or him doing the original sketches for it.
It is likely that making date of portrait would be closer to July 1543, than to February 1542, because it’d make sense to comemorate the sucession change and because it’d better fit with Edward’s height.
Hence imo the portrait was done between 2nd half of 1542 and 1st half of 1543. Prior to succesion officially being changed and Henry VIII marrying Catherine Parr.
So the professional estimate 1543-1547 is not entirely wrong. It meets me in 1543, but they made assumption that it MUST BE after official change of succession.The evidence within the painting itself was overlooked and by many people! This is very well known painting, lots of people have seen it. Experts from all around. And they didn’t question what imo is a wrong assumption.
And that’s just one portrait whose wrong estimate throws us off. There could be many more.
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callipraxia · 11 months
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Books Read, May 2023
I've thought of starting a book blog before, but alas - I never have enough to say when I don't have someone to bounce off of, or at least can't figure out how to say it. Plus, I mostly read nonfiction, so...probably not the most thrilling reviews. In lieu of that...here's what I read in May.
Courting Scandal: The Rise and Fall of Jane Boleyn, Lady Rochford - James Taffe
Jane Boleyn: The True Story of the Infamous Lady Rochford - Julia Fox
Young and Damned and Fair: The Life of Catherine Howard, Fifth Wife of King Henry VIII - Gareth Russell
Inside the Tudor Court: Henry VIII and His Six Wives Through the Writings of the Spanish Ambassador Eustace Chapuys - Lauren Mackay
Wolsey: The Life of King Henry VIII's Cardinal - John Matusiak
Cardinal Wolsey - Mandell Creighton
Remembering Wolsey: A History of Commemorations and Representations - J. Patrick Hornbeck II.
The Life and Death of Thomas Wolsey Cardinal: Once Archbishop of York and Lord Chancellor of England - Sir William Cavendish
Obviously, I got 'on a tangent,' as I do sometimes. I've gathered this may have something to do with the ADHD, though not from particularly official sources, so don't quote me on that. In this case, it was partially a return to old tangents; while I'd not read the last three books on this list before, my reading journal indicates I previously went on a bit of a tangent on the subject of Cardinal Wolsey in February and March of 2021. I was also immensely pleased, in my Kindle recommendations earlier this month, to find a book on Chapuys; he was always one of those background figures in the historical fictions I read as a kid that I wished I knew more about. Gotta read his letters myself sometime, since it seems, from the Google, that they can be viewed online in English translation.
I'll give Lauren Mackay this: she's much more honest than a lot of authors are when she reached places where the information simply no longer exists, or at least hasn't been recovered yet. There was enough 'prose' to keep it interesting, but not excessive attempts to state things about the ambassador that she couldn't back up with evidence. This, I felt, was in sharp contrast to Julia Fox; I loved the descriptions of the court, the attempts to tell a story, and these things definitely have a place in history-writing, but here they were fairly blatantly...fluffy, I suppose. Now, I'm hardly one to complain of fluff, rather fond of soft things myself, but it was glaringly obvious, when she said Lady Rochford must have been thinking or feeling something, that she was essentially filling in the blanks with a story of her own devising. Sometimes the 'costume' of historicity the text wore was something it looked 'comfortable' in and sometimes it was quite obviously a poorly-researched French hood shoved awkwardly onto the head of an actress with zero knowledge of sixteenth century fashion and how to wear it, but there were always leaps from one point to another. In contrast to that, I felt that Gareth Russell balanced his reader-drawing prose fluff with his historical analysis much more adeptly when considering Catherine Howard; I've read his book more than once over the past couple of years and expect I'll read it again in years to come. I came away with no impression of James Taffe's work, alas, except that he clearly wrote his book as an exasperated rebuttal to Julia Fox; I was, unfortunately, very sleep-deprived when I read that, so I'll have to read it again sometime. My lack of sleep, however, is not why I read the rebuttal first and the book it was responding to second...even though I'd had Fox's book in my physical TBR shelves for several years and only stumbled across Taffe's the day I bought it. I'm told I've always had a tendency to do things in the wrong order and somehow make it work anyway, so why mess with a good system at this point?
As for one book being a rebuttal to another - here we come to one of my favorite things about reading history, which is to say, how often historians blatantly attack or support each other in their writing. In the last couple of chapters of Remembering Wolsey, I was irrationally delighted to see the author offer opinions on every book I read during my 2021 tangent as well as one of the ones I read this time around. It's amusing (to me) to sort of...get to know the different personalities: "hm, yes, I can see why someone would say that about Ives," or "yeah, I never did get Starkey's position on that, all things considered," or "ha, that was almost the exact same thing I said two years ago about Ridley!" It's...oddly cozy, I suppose.
Hornbeck was especially interesting as he wasn't writing about what happened - he was writing about the trends in how people have remembered what happened over the past few centuries. There were interesting thoughts on historical fiction throughout, especially near the end; that one may warrant a full independent review, if I can muster the energy to write it out. For now, however - there's all the reading I did in May.
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