#any progress at all. sometimes dogs just want to be able to say no. we should give them that option more often.

[gatitties]

Incorrect quotes

─ Dbd x gn!teen!reader

─ Summary: just you being you

─ Warnings: none

*(I will be using y/n for this chapter)*

6 < 7 > 8 

You: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Amanda: You don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Ghostface: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n have been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...

You: You know, not every problem can be solved with an axe.

Huntress: That's why I carry more than one axe.

Dwight: What are your goals?

You: To pet all the dogs.

Dwight: No, fitness goals.

You: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Demogorgon: *happy noises on the background*

Feng Min: It’s dark in here.

You: Don't worry, I got this.

You: *Stomp your feet*

You: *Skechers light up*

You: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Ghostface: We're the best thing that happened to you?

Frank: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Nurse: You know those things will kill you, right?

You, pouring another glass of whiskey, lightning a cigarette and taking a raw cookie dough: That’s the point.

Meg: David, I'm sad.

David: *Hold out arms for a hug* I'ts going to be okay.

Steve: Hey y/n, I'm sad.

You: yeah, me too.

You: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Julie: Not if they consent to it.

Joey: Depends who you're stabbing.

Susie: Do it.

Dwight, banging on the door: Y/n! Open up!

You: Well, it all started when I installed Twitter...

Kate: No, he meant-

Claudette: Let them finish.

You, threatening the others with an amongus suit: Listen... life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... and today, it's gonna give you... amogus inflatable suits!

Entity, going over your resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

You: yes.

Entity: Okay... may I know what you create?

You: Problems.

Jake, addressing the survivors: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Nancy: But that's just a trash can.

You: Innovative, I like it.

Quentin: You often use humor to deflect trauma.

You: Thank you.

Quentin: I didn't say that was a good thing.

You: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

You, arriving at the exit of a game: Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Trickster: THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Yui Kimura: We need a distraction.

Tapp: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

You, whispering: My time has come.

*Some characters reacting to y/n saying 'I love you'*

Claudette: Thank you!

David: Oh no, what do you want?

Demogorgon: *Happy gurgles*

Bubba: *A flustered mess*

Freddy: Sounds fake but okay.

Jake: can I get a refund?

You: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Huntress: Have everyone stand.

Wraith: Bring three more chairs.

Amanda: The most important ones can sit down.

Freddy: Kill three.

Tapp: Good morning.

Kate: Good morning.

Cheryl: Good morning.

Ace: Ya'll sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

You: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS *throw a slice of cheese in Ace's face*

You: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill my self again.

You: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Ghostface: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

You: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING SUSIE WITH ME.

Julie, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

You: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Hillbilly: The cow???

*Preparing to sleep*

You: Goodnight moon.

You: Goodnight tree.

You: Good night ghost that only I can see.

Ghostface, looking from the window: no one had ever cared so much about me.

You: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress... welp *keep watching tiktok*

#gender neutral reader #reader insert #x reader #platonic #killersxreader #dbd #teen reader #platonic reader #survivorsxreader #dbd x reader #incorrect quotes #gn reader #ace visconti #ghostface #wraith #huntress #david king #dbd dwight #dbd claudette #feng min #x y/n #y/n #fanfic #fandom

[symphonic-scream]

Yes, 100%

:D

Everyone has a pet that has the name of their persona (cause I'm sentimental) like. Morgana is just Akira's emotional support cat but he also has a little red bird names Arsene. Goro has two mice named Robin Hood and Loki, and Futaba has a ferret named Necronomicon

In the quad apartment there's Carmen the cat, Goemon the turtle, and Captain Kidd the snake

As for Makoto and Haru, there's M'Lady the large rabbit and Johanna the doberman. Hifumi doesn't have a pet yet, but maybe one day

The Okumura-Niijima apartment is right above the bakery and cafe, but they made sure to add an entrance at the back so they don't have to work through the shop front to get home (Makoto sometimes has an overwhelming day at her placements. Sometimes Haru's relapsing into her caged mindset. They wanted a safe route in and out without crowds)

M'Lady sometimes spends Haru's time working the cafe with her. They made a little throne for her at the far side of the counter. Regular customers like to bring her little veggies to snack on

Makoto is training Johanna to work as an EMA. She wants to give her future patients as much comfort as possible, like being able to offer sessions with her and her dog. It's a work in progress, she got the idea when she met Joker (and Morgana) for the first time

I have stories for everyone meeting Joker too so. Let me know if you want those

Hifumi is at first dumbfounded when she discovers Makoto is trans. Akira had told her one of the wives were and based on how they present themselves, she assumed it was Haru. She and Makoto have many long talks about how they define femininity and such. For Makoto, it's in her spirit of rebellion. Being a woman to her is refusing to conform, not to accept the hand she's dealt but to stand up and push for what she wants

And for Haru, it's more like a comfort. She's always felt, protected by her own inner view of the world. She sees her own femininity as like, frills and fluff and treating herself. Inner love. They balance each other well

Makoto: I notice you hunch a lot. Is your height something that makes you feel a little dysphoric?

Hifumi: ah, I suppose so. I'm taller than both you and Haru, and Akira too...

Makoto: I have a solution for that. Want to feel short? You should visit our other friends' place. They're all tall there

Haru: she's right! Ann and Yusuke are both, very tall!

There's lots of conversations about gender and sexuality between Hifumi and all the thieves, about how they found themselves and tips they have for being queer. Some are, awkwardly personal

Hifumi: did you. Have your surgeries yet?

Makoto: ...it's 9 am I'm- I'm not talking about this that early I'm sorry

Haru: just a tip, you don't have to have any to be trans! You can have one, or the other, both or none! Gender and sex are personal to you, don't let anyone else dictate your experience

Makoto is red in the face and sipping at iced water trying to ignore the Convo (it's the one topic she's nervous about. Only because she doesn't like hospitals.)

Hifumi: why do you guys have two spare rooms anyways? For family?

Makoto: oh, no

Haru: can you keep a secret? Don't tell Akira or the others, but... We're thinking of having a baby

Hifumi: ...am I your test run for parenthood?

Makoto: no, don't be silly. That was when we took care of Futaba when they were fighting with the boys

Haru's father isn't a fan of her relationship with Makoto, but he accepted he has no say in whether they're together or not and stays out of their hair. He's, working on being supportive. It's taking him time to learn

Sae on the other hand has been Makoto's number one advocate for years. She helped her sister find herself back when Makoto was just in middle school, and even set her up at a vastly different highschool to start fresh

Goro is horribly awkward around anyone but Akira or Futaba. He's. Like a stick. It freaks Hifumi out at first

Just. Hifumi experiences all sorts of love too. Seeing her friends who found their forever people, platonic love, the sort of familial love she forms with Makoto and Haru-

I have many many thoughts please keep talking to me about this I'm,

Also. Help me find a name for this au so I can make a tag for it! Send me suggestions

#persona 5 au #hifumi togo #joker persona 5 #akeshu #goro akechi #makoto niijima #haru okumura #okujima #the phantom queers

[nanistar]

do you think we could get a sneak peak of saltburn's clan production? like the scripts or the sketches? (of pages already posted of course) i really like seeing how different people approach the comic making process

sure thing!

so i usually post the next 2 sketches on my patreon for the $1+ tiers on tuesday or wednesday, so they get an advanced little view of it before hand. so the ones here are all gonna be older pages.

my entire script and notes i keep in one long google doc. and i send myself feverish notes on discord to be copy/pasta'd into the doc later. i also have a rough estimation of my progress in the story and how much longer i have per chapters, since im trying to keep it to about 30-36 per chapter. i don;t want to spend longer than 2 years on this comic (though im not gonna speedrun it or anything if it ends up going long, im just hoping it stays shorter lol).

i don't script things line-by-line or like a stageplay. i tried doing it early on but i found i made too many deviations depending on how i placed panels and looking back at the script was really annoying.

earliest script i have^

i tend to do dialogue on the fly when actually sketching out the pages, because i know what i'm looking for, so unless i have the specific dialogue that i want to remember to add, i don't write any of that down. although sometimes i get on a roll writing and dialogue flows, so i write it down and change it as needed. i have scenes in my head rather than pages, and i translate those notes later when i need to work on that scene. i very rarely get actual page ideas in my head, but i will say today's update with saltburn flying thru the air and recalling some memories i;ve had in my head for months, along with the one where salt sees the angel i had planned for a while. (i'd LOVE to be able to get a ton of pages sketched at once so i can not worry about it, but the nature of the way that i work is that i just can't think in that much detail far ahead of me. so i can only really do 2 at a time)

^so it tends to look more like this, fast back and forth dialogue to get my point across that i will make fit their voices later on. also i don't use linebreaks or anything just because im lazy so my notes are a fuckin disaster

my god.

as for the actual drawing of the pages, i literally just do it i dont know how to explain it. i sketch things as fast and loose as possible , i try not to have the same size boxes next to each other unless i'm showing the passage of time or a very minor detail change between panels. large panels for establishing shots. ect. sometimes if needed i will do a secondary sketch to figure stuff out, like i needed to do a bunch when working out the first few coyote drawings since ive never drawn dogs in action before. but usually i just whip it out

nightmarish.

this one is still my favorite, and despite looking much better than my normal sketches i did whip it out like normal (i just looked at refs for the other critters so it looks nicer lol)

additionally, i do every single page in the chapter on the same canvas because i love it when procreate crashes. i do all my panel boxes, and any "weird" shaped speech bubbles by hand. i only have one layer for flats, one for BGs, merge them together and do one overlay layer. if i need some extra definition i will add an additional shading layer but i dont like to. once im done with all the art i merge every layer together, send the page to myself on discord, and open it up on my 'puter and do the remaining text and normal speech bubbles in clip studio.

oh yeah people sometimes ask why i do 2 pages instead of one per update, or just do a bunch and upload it less often and the answer is because i don't want to be working on this comic for a very long time, and 2 pages gets me thru faster. if i spend too long working on a scene it starts getting boring for me and im more likely to cheese it which i dont like doing, but if i do two at once i can get stuff done faster. additionally, i cant just do a bunch and upload them all at once because i like the feedback, and it's better for readers to have consistent updates. i have the deadly autism/adhd combo, and my life is literally scheduled week by week and i have to stay consistent or i will die.

but yeah. my process is nightmarish and fast (despite spending like 4-8 hours per page) and loose and crazy but it works for me and keeps me engaged.

#nyask #sbc #thanks for asking i love to talk about my process tbh #when i look back on it im always shocked like what the fuck am i doing here #mine

[figsandphiltatos]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by the lovely @johaerys-writes!!

tagging forward to @dearestaeneas @sarcasticbeanie @deadchannelradio and whoever else wants to share a wip fic or fanart or literally anything (also no pressure to the people tagged lol)

this is. literally the first time i've ever posted writing about any of my ocs publicly. and also it's really kinda long so it's under the read more lol

Wes carefully counted the paces–all sixteen of them–until they were standing in front of their grandfather’s desk. If he were any smaller of a man, it would have dwarfed him. It stood long and wide enough that Wes could have easily slept comfortably on it, though the methodically ordered surfeit of knick-knacks and photographs would have made that difficult. They grinned back at themself from a photo framed in sleek black, riding on the back of the family dog Titus. A small sea of family pictures smiled back at them, actually. They weren’t the stuffy, overly formal things kept in the foyer, but candid and sometimes blurry pictures of their entire family. Half were turned out toward whoever might sit across from Bruce as if to say Look, look at my happy family. Don’t we just look delightful? And the other half were turned towards the tall backed office chair where Bruce sat. 

The stuttering sound of a throat being cleared pulled Wes’ attention back to their grandfather. He sat with his back perfectly straight, his expression was the picture of seriousness. Even without the mask, Wes knew they were speaking to Batman, not their grandfather who had laughed and snapped a picture of them riding on Titus’ back. It was times like these that Wes thought Bruce looked most like he belonged in this sad, old house. 

Wordlessly, he gestured for them to take a seat across the desk. The chairs here were plush and, ordinarily, Wes let themself sink into them but today they sat at the very edge of the leather upholstery.  Under the desk, they fiddled nervously with the zipper on their hoodie. If this was meant to be good news, it didn’t feel like it. But their grandfather had never been particularly good at expressing joy or pride. There was a chance, however slim, that this would be good news coated in a heavy handed reminder that lives depended on them. 

But Wes was starting to feel that chance slipping away. Just before Bruce opened his mouth, a sour thought congealed in their mind: Jason being here was a consolation prize. Or worse, they weren’t going to L.A. They were being sent until they worked through whatever fit they were going to throw. 

Their heart tightened itself into an impossibly small and painful ball in their chest as Bruce spoke, “Dick and I have been talking.” He said, and Wes resisted the urge to fling themself over the desk. Spit it out. “I understand you’ve been… Hopeful about the possibility of becoming Robin.” 

Fuck. Dread had been lingering in the back of their head, but it suddenly settled on them now like a bag of bricks. If this were good news, if they were going to be Robin, they would have been getting this news in the Batcave. They stood but the motion was more like a muscle spasm than a conscious choice. Bruce’s eyebrows inched closer together in preemptive concern. It was already almost enough to be stifling.

“Wes.” Bruce’s tone was gentle, but it was a warning too. “I think I’m too old to take on another protege. I wouldn’t be able to provide you with all the training and attention you’d deserve and, regardless–”

“‘Wouldn’t be able to provide me with training’? Bullshit! You’re Batman!” It was the kind of outburst that Wes had been trying to get better about. Really, they’d been working on it since they moved into fancy mansions and apartments with a new family who at least liked to play act like they were polite, decent people. They hadn’t made much, if any, substantial progress. 

“Regardless,” Bruce droned on, a little louder now and through gritted teeth. “Dick has done an incredible job himself. Nightwing and Bluejay make a good team. There won’t be anymore Robins.” 

Wes stared down their grandfather, as if he might admit it was a joke or take it back. Blinks had to come in rapid succession, because they’d be damned if they were going to cry in front of him. They had half a mind to pinch themself. It wasn’t that they felt entitled to the mantle–far from it. They had never worked harder for anything in their entire life. They had never wanted anything more in their entire life. 

They opened their mouth, and no sound came out. There was too much weighing down on them all at once. The past three years hadn’t exactly been a waste; Being Bluejay was the best thing that had ever happened to them, and regardless of what name they took, they wanted to help people. But it was starting to feel like it had all been a lie. How long had Dick known he was training them for a day that would never come?

The perfectly practiced neutral expression on their uncle’s face moments before danced in their vision. He had known. And what about Jason? How else could they have possibly convinced him to come all the way to Gotham? 

Wes blinked faster now, hand curling into a fist at their side.

“Frankly, you struggle with taking instruction.” Was Bruce completely oblivious? Or did he revel in the ability to lord this over them? Or was it actually possible he believed further explanation would help? These were questions Wes had pondered before and they were questions that would continue to haunt them for most of their life. Their fingernails dug into skin–they wouldn’t cry in front of him. “You’re impulsive. You rush into danger. Dick has done well tempering this in you and he works better with Damian than I ever managed. I don’t want you to be discouraged, you show great promise, but–”

“But what? You only do well with kids who already act like perfect fucking soldiers?” In any other situation, Bruce might have chided them about their language. Wes had never paid that much mind before–they were eleven years old, for fuck’s sake, and Jason had been cursing in front of them since they were adopted–and they certainly weren’t going to start now. “Not much of a mentor then, are you?” The heat of tears pressed at their eyes and clawed at their throat and they dug crescent moons into their palms until crimson seeped under their nails. 

And then there were plump, embarrassing and hot tears streaming down their face; and they were being crushed by the realization that their uncle had known and sent them in here anyway; and they spat the most venomous, awful thing they could think to say, and they meant it with every fiber of their body: “I quit.” 

#figs sillies #figs writing #do i have a writing tag? #it's a bad sign that i haven't written in so long i don't remember if i have a writing tag huh #oc: future titans #i am methodically going up to each of my mutuals doorsteps and leaving this dead bird (my most self indulgent most cringiest writing) #it's them the kid my brain won't shut up about #fun fact this oc is ‚‚‚‚ approximately seven actual entire human years old holy shit #:) #anyway uh enyoy #wes #oc wes

[blueboyluca]

OK here are my thoughts on chapters 7-9. Chapter 7 is a real doozy. It details Stella starting to use the buttons independently. Why this is incredible to Hunger is beyond me, as the outcome of teaching a dog something is – get this – the dog can now do the thing.

When I saw these gestures, I would sometimes say a verbal prompt, like “What do you want?” Then I stayed silent for at least fifteen seconds to give Stella a chance to respond. Research shows that when communication partners pause for ten to forty-five seconds, AAC users are more likely to respond using their devices. Giving a longer wait time cues the learner that it is their turn to talk. It also gives them more time to process what is happening then choose what to do next.

Research with humans shows this, not research with dogs. The dog doesn’t know what “What do you want?” means. Pausing for ten to 45 seconds will not have the same results between a dog and a human because dog communication doesn’t include speech, so cues for turns to speak don’t mean anything. Humans and dogs share developmental similarities because we are both mammals and we co-evolved, but that doesn't mean our developmental milestones are the same.

“Water,” Stella said.

Stella didn’t say "water”. She pressed a button with a recording that played “water”. The punctuation is deliberate.

This was the most powerful cue we could give Stella to use one of her words now, simply waiting long enough to give her a real chance to say it. It is so natural for adults to want to jump in and help immediately, or to take over to accomplish something quickly. We have to become comfortable with silence and patience before we can expect to see real, significant progress.

More problematic anthropomorphism. The use of the word adult. This isn’t about adults and children, this is about humans and dogs. Once again, Hunger is directly equating disabled children and dogs.

This was the first time Stella had ever said a word totally by herself, without any cues or modeling right beforehand. It was a huge milestone to celebrate.

It’s crazy to me that this is so celebrated by Hunger. In chapter two she described exactly the same situation, just with a different dog and a bell rather than a button. Functionally it is the same. A dog in a room without a human communicated with a device. How is the button any more significant than the bell?

This is completely common and natural for all kids, whether they are learning to talk with a communication device or verbal speech. Children need support before they can do something new entirely on their own. It’s like when babies are learning to walk. They need to hold on to furniture or their parents before they can take several steps freely.

And then directly referencing child development again. Stella is not a human child! Her developmental milestones are not the same as humans!

It was helpful for both Stella and me that I could be upstairs and know exactly what she wanted right when she wanted it. If she had barked, and come up to find me, I would not have known why. If she were standing quietly by the door, I would not have been able to see her from upstairs or even know that she was wanting something. Stella could have her needs attended to much more quickly if she could tell us exactly what she wanted.

This is a great point, the button has communicated something more specific than a bark or a look. But that same specificity could be achieved with a dozen other means! The button with the recording on it is not the important part here!! Also, if Stella had barked and come upstairs to find Hunger, there could have been some basic attempt to figure it out on Hunger's part. Hunger has already described multiple instances of this happening and yet still feels the need to add a button layer into the existing communication.

This time, she left after I finished watering the first plant. About five seconds later, I heard, “water.” I chuckled to myself. I bet seeing the water reminded her that she was thirsty. I started walking down the hall to see Stella walking back toward me. "Do you need water, girl?" As I saw moments later, her water dish was full, and she did not take a drink. Stella returned to the sunroom with me, continuing to watch me give the plants a good soak. She was talking about what was happening, not about something she wanted. This was the first time Stella said a word without requesting an object or an action from one of us. She walked out of the sunroom, down the hall, and into the dining room all simply to tell me what she observed in the world around her.

This is Hunger’s interpretation of what happened. We do not actually know that Stella was using the “water” button to identify the watering can as water for the sake of it. If I take this anecdote at face value – which I admit is difficult – perhaps Stella was communicating that she wanted water, perhaps she wanted to drink the water in the watering can. But I am skeptical that Stella did indeed press the water button at this moment, and if she did that it was directly related to Hunger's actions with the watering can.

Hunger then launches into this anecdote about how they let Stella off lead for the first time ever at a lake house and were shocked – shocked! – that she didn’t run off and instead stopped ahead of them and waited for them to catch up. Hunger attributes all of this to Stella understanding the word “wait” because she apparently now has this kind of language capability, rather than any other possible reason this could have happened. Hunger writes, “It actually mattered to Stella and made sense why she should wait.” This is a really basic interpretation of dog behaviour and fails to consider any other motivations beyond language comprehension. Like, this is the kind of dog owner who says "I told her no, but she kept doing it anyway!" about a dog they haven't trained at all.

In the middle of our meal we heard “outside” come from the back-door area. Everyone quieted down and looked around the table, taking a quick mental head count. We were all there together. That meant the only one who could have said “outside” was Stella.

Multiple times in these anecdotes Hunger has stated that humans have had to consider what mysterious voice spoke. As if the sound of the button is not instantly recognisable. As if the voice coming out of it isn’t just Hunger’s voice. I do not understand why these anecdotes are written this way. It’s not like you wouldn’t be able to recognise a recording and it's weird that she's kind of pretending otherwise.

At four months old, Stella was using three words independently, in multiple environments, with several different people. This was incredibly impressive to me. I could not believe how fast she learned. During the process, it seemed like it took so long, but now, looking back, we only had Stella for two months and she was already saying three different words.

I’m also extremely skeptical about the button pressing instances that haven’t made it into this book. What about all the times that Stella used the buttons and it wasn’t clear that she was communicating the exact meanings of the words “outside”, “play” and “water”? It’s as if Hunger is suggesting that beyond the first month, Stella only ever used the buttons meaningfully and deliberately, every time.

But I taught Stella in all the same ways that I teach children. I didn’t train her to push a button on my command. I didn’t reward her with treats for saying a word. I didn’t use my hand to grab her paw and make her say a word. I didn’t train the behavior of pushing the button first before I attached meaning to it.

Again we see no interest in dog behaviour or existing knowledge of dog training. Hunger did, actually, train Stella to push a button. She did it through operant conditioning. She didn’t reinforce with food, but she did reinforce with opening the door, water, play and praise. This is basic dog training, something Hunger has shown no interest in learning about.

In chapter 8 Hunger decides to add six more buttons all at once. Eat, love you, walk, help, come and no.

It was fascinating to see such a clear difference in her reactions between all her other vocabulary words and “walk.” Stella did not push any of the other words right away, not even “eat.” She stood near me while I modeled them, but they did not capture her attention like “walk” had. Seeing her so excited to push it made me wonder if she had ever wished for the ability to say “walk” before I programmed it for her.

We already know Stella now has button pushing in her behavioural repertoire. The fact that she pushed a button right away does not mean that Stella intrinsically understood the meaning of “walk”. The use of the button immediately preceded the same behaviours that cue a walk, so it’s no wonder that Stella immediately responded to them. She was excited about the cues she observed from Hunger that indicated a walk was imminent. The word “walk” is only one cue out of a whole sequence of predictable behaviours!

She finishes the chapter by using a few paragraphs to wax poetical about abstaining from social media. Amusingly she writes, “Since my brain was not filled with other people’s thoughts, I could really listen to my own.” In this instance I would recommend immediately reading other people’s thoughts, specifically in regards to dog behaviour.

Stella started using her sixth word, help, multiple times a day when she would drop her toy behind the couch or when it rolled under the TV stand. Initially, she said “help” on its own, without pairing gestures with it. Even though we knew she needed help, if Jake or I had not been watching, we would not know where her toy disappeared. Stella would watch us look around, under the couch or under the entertainment center. Then, her tail started wagging and she came to stand right next to us when we were close to it. Soon, Stella started independently combining “help” with a gesture, normally standing where she wanted us to look. She learned that we needed more information to most effectively find her toy.

So far this is the most interesting anecdote about Stella using a button. If this is true, Stella has generalised the meaning of the “help” button to her toys being stuck in different places. This is fascinating! I’d love for this to be expanded upon, for this to be the focus. This has far more potential than any other example.

This chapter also has another weird divergence about minimalism. It’s that annoying thing that some people do where they try to frame social media usage and owning possessions as a kind of moral stance, and shedding themselves of these things makes them more morally pure. Anyway the point of the minimalism thing is to explain why they got rid of all their furniture (even though them moving is enough of an explanation), and that made Stella stressed.

Stella left the room, turned the corner, and said, “no.” She looked up to me with the saddest eyes before she curled up in a ball on top of an empty grocery bag lying on the ground. This was the first time Stella had ever said “no.” She was either commenting on how there was “no” couch there anymore, upset that the couch she grew up snuggling on was suddenly gone, or protesting what we did. Maybe Stella had more awareness and attachment to the items in our home than I had realized.

I’m sorry but I just… don’t believe Hunger. This is too narratively and anthropomorphically convenient. I just don’t trust Hunger. This paragraph is storytelling. This is what Bunny’s owner does in every video, she creates a narrative to explain what’s happening. The key point here being that it’s narrative and does not actually equate to the truth.

Again, how many times is Stella using the buttons “incorrectly”? We have no idea because Hunger never talks about that. She is only giving us anecdotes that fit her narrative. Remember that Hunger has added six new words all at once.

After she heard the words and saw what happened when she said each of them a few times, she started using them more confidently.

I’m just going to say it again: operant conditioning.

Stella watched me zip up the suitcase, said “help,” and curled up in a ball on my lap.

I’m just going to say it again: I have difficulty believing these anecdotes. I have difficulty accepting them exactly as presented, with all the insinuations and implications left unwritten.

This book is a memoir, and a questionable one at that. There is nothing scientific about it, and the "tips" it provides for budding dog button users are extremely dubious. So far she has backed up her actions with examples from her education in child development. This is not appropriate for discussing dog behaviour. It's useful to consider the way we teach human children language, and how it may be adapted for dogs, but Hunger is not doing that. She is copying and pasting the same principles to her dog with no adjustments, no species-appropriate changes.

A few months ago a fellow trainer brought this book to a trial and took it around to tell people how wonderful it was. I did not really engage because I didn't want to be a hater on someone for absolutely no reason. But reading it now, it alarms me that people without much knowledge about dogs would find this a useful or interesting book, and it especially alarms me that experienced dog people would. Nine chapters in, there is no value here. There is nothing groundbreaking, nothing interesting. I stand by what I wrote the first time I wrote about my disdain for dog buttons: instead of focusing on how to correctly interpret dog communication and behaviour and how to use training to augment our relationship with dogs, this talking dog thing comes in and just crushes all that beneath the weight of a wooden board covered in plastic buttons.

#dog buttons #dog books #Hunger for Words

[twobigears]

@wyrddogs​ well it’s gonna be a Process integrating it into our agility routine, but the main thing is I try really hard to stick to the criteria of “do not move your paws”. Which is already hard enough for Chandra in the sit-stay in agility. 😅 We did some practice with the stand-stay and a jump on Friday with the vet, and a little more yesterday and both sessions went really well because her stand-stay is pretty solid right now from all our obedience work, but I expect it might start slipping as Chandra brings Agility Feelings into it.

The key things for teaching and progressing a solid stand-stay, at least from what I know now, are:

a well-understood duration marker that means “wait in place for reward”. I use “good” for treats and “nice” for toys. “Good” is said with a specific, low and drawn-out intonation that separates it from using “good” in other contexts, like “good girl” and general praise. My dogs know that when I say “good” like that, it mains wait still and don’t move while I bring the treat to you.

“Nice” for toys is slightly different and tbh I am not as nerdy about dog training science as I used to be so I don’t really care but I use it as kind of an intermediate marker which means that the /next/ word will be a verbal marker indicating where to get their toy. For example, “nice, look-back” will tell my dog to get the toy on the ground behind her. Is the nice marker necessary or super-clean training? I don’t know but I feel like it helps my dogs pause and think a little more when toys are involved. I primarily use it for stationary positions like the startline stay or 2on2on contacts, but I actually started using it for moving heeling and wanted to reward Chandra with a toy in my left hand. She really struggles with targeting the toy in this situation and I was tired of getting my hand bit. So adding “nice” gave me a way to mark her heeling and then add an extra second for her to pause and actually target the toy before cued “bite”.

Separating these out because they are extra important:

Being as picky as possible about not allowing/rewarding foot movement!! Super important!! If I reach in to deliver a treat and my dog moves a paw, oops, that gets a no-reward marker and the treat hand either pauses or moves away.

Working through the same Duration, Distance, Distraction principles as sit and down-stays. And trying to do that gradually enough that I avoid failures (i.e. paw movement or self-releasing) as much as possible. This is a big mistake that many people make with any sort of stay or stationary position. They (either accidentally or intentionally) try to teach more through failure and correcting when the dog moves, rather than rewarding more for the dog successfully staying still. Yes failure will happen, and like I said that’s when I use a NRM but my goal is to minimize the use of NRMs as much as possible and do a lot more rewarding for staying still.

And the same release principles as other stationary positions. Having a clear verbal release cue, whether that is a general release cue, releasing with a marker cue, or cue to do another behavior. And just like above, I want to build a history of my dog successfully staying until released far more often than pushing them to fail and self-release early.

As far as integrating it into agility specifically, some additional things I’ll be particularly focusing on are:

watching out for paw movement (again!!)

gradually increasing my lead-out distance and not pushing for more distance on the lead-out than she can successfully maintain. I won’t expect to right away be able to lead out as far with a stand-stay as I can get with a sit-stay.

using toy reinforcers. Up to this point I have primarily used food for Chandra’s stand-stay. But toys increase her arousal and excitement, and that is something she’ll have to work through since agility also = a lot of arousal and excitement. She already has a hard time sometimes even responding to the initial stand cue when a toy is in the picture! We can also do some two-toy work where I have a toy in my hand as well as a toy on the ground behind her, and she has to listen and respond to the appropriate verbal marker for which toy to get. Having a toy behind her is especially helpful for reducing the temptation to creep forward if she is thinking she might have to go backwards for reinforcement.

I might also add a “wait” cue. I don’t typically teach a separate stay/wait cue, I teach sit/down/stand such that the stay is implied. Like when I cue her to sit on the startline I only give the sit cue, and then she stays until release. But I have taught a “wait” cue in other agility contexts, such as waiting on the down ramp of the dogwalk when backchaining her 2on2off. So she understands “wait” in agility already and it might be a helpful boost for a stand-stay on the startline.

and of course continuing to work and reinforce the stand-stay separately from agility and in our obedience contexts so it remains strong there

#more info than you wanted probably #all i know how to do is write novels #dogblr discourse #dog training #dog agility #agility #Chandra

[lady-charinette]

Chapter 15 The Beast in Her Home

Me: says I will update every month

Also me: well, that was a LIE, huh

I’m really sorry for not updating in…did 3 years pass already (damn)? I started working part-time while gunning to finish my degree and slowly decaying mentally, so that put a damper on the overall progress of this fic. Oh and my phone got kidnapped, turned up in a puddle just outside my uni and stopped working, all my notes for this story (and so many others T_T) were on there so…I'm basically going in blind with what my original ideas for this fic were

Chapter 15

Stuck with being babysat by the lady cop’s two henchmen, Chat Noir tried to settle in a more comfortable position, allowing his mind to wander with the possibility of escape null.

He remembered the familiar warmth from Marianne’s embrace, how the fire immediately scalded his eyes and clouded his vision. The tremble in his hands when he finally dared to hug her back had ghosted over his body like a memory, one he wanted to forget yet craved to remember all the same.

Chat Noir never would’ve thought she was alive and well, he had hoped for it of course, but never truly dared to believe so for any member of his family.

Well, any that he still considered family, that is.

Their laughter still faintly rang in his ears, as if they were still there but a distance away, still there to play with him and welcome him home with open arms.

A home that had disappeared so cruelly.

Chat Noir didn’t dare dream anymore, dream of laughter and joy.

Not since the fateful day, he lost everything.

Shaking his head as if to physically dislodge the dark cloud looming over his mind, Chat Noir’s gaze moved to the lock system on the windows, mindful of the fleeting gazes of the watchdogs seated at the table.

He was able to pick the lock if the window hadn’t been locked from the outside, unfortunately, it seemed the lady cop had picked up on it sometime in the past several days.

Last night proved to be an unsuccessful attempt to flee, the robust double windows hadn´t budged an inch when Chat Noir had tried to open them. He would have applauded the detective for investing in a secure house, especially given her profession, but it was a thorn in his current predicament.

Sighing loudly, ignoring the raised eyebrows of the police officers, Chat Noir gazed outside at the trees, following the little rays of light manifesting as tiny spots between the gaps of the moving leaves.

And then, he saw a flash of white and blue.

Chat blinked and did a double-take.

When he glanced at the spot again, there was only green and brown and the sun, no colors of white or blue.

Must’ve been a figment of his imagination, still, his imagination chose two very odd, if very familiar, colors to see.

----

“Aurore, duck or you’ll get caught!”

“You see him? He’s restrained.”

“Yeah, no kidding, if boss were our enemy I would keep him under multiple locks too.”

“Who would’ve thought Chat Noir would let himself get caught that easily.”

Renier turned towards Roy, making sure not to disturb the bush they were hiding behind. “Listen Roy, if you were ambushed by the enemy and surrounded by the police a second later with damn tasers and guns, pray tell how you would not get caught. If Chat hadn’t warned us, we would’ve been captured too. It’s only because of him we’re still free and walking.”

Roy looked ready to argue until Aurore wedged herself between them and patted both her teammate’s shoulders. “Hey, there’s no need butting horns right now. Roy didn’t mean it like that,” she turned to look at Renier, “-and you need to keep a cool head. I know you’re worried over him but there’s not much we can do in broad daylight with two guys standing guard over him. Let’s wait till night to make our move.”

Ren sighed, shooting an apologetic nod towards Roy, who nodded in return. “You’re right Aurore, it’s just…” Ren turned his head to glance back through the windows, watching his friend and de facto leader chained like a dog in an unfamiliar, dangerous place. “…it’s difficult seeing him like this.”

The young woman smiled, squeezing her friend’s shoulder. “I know. He’ll be free soon, I promise.”

Ren nodded and spoke. “Yeah, let’s regroup and figure out a plan for tonight.”

The group gave their imprisoned leader one last look before they quietly made their leave. The bitterness of their inaction left a sour taste in their mouths, but at least they knew for sure where Chat Noir was.

All they needed to do was figure out how to get him out.

----

Chat Noir rolled his eyes when Tweedledee chuckled at something Tweedledum showed him on his phone. What was this? Weren’t they cops? Was this what the police were doing while on duty?

He kicked the side of the coffee table in front of him, immediately the bigger of the two cops lifted his hand toward his gun, the other whipped around so fast Chat thought he would break his spine.

Kim grit his teeth. “Hey, no funny business. The odds are against you, buddy.”

“I’m not your buddy.” Chat spat through gritted teeth, all venom.

“Trust me, we want to be here as much as you want to, but until lieutenant Dupain-Cheng returns, we stay here.” Ivan removed his hand from his gun, eyes never leaving Chat Noir’s half-sprawled form on the couch during Kim’s irritated speech.

Chat Noir huffed, stretching his legs to kill the building numbness in them. His restraints did little to make him feel less of a caged animal, the sting of his wounds made matters all the worse. Chat was sure he could take down the two cops, he had fought against worse adversaries, none of which survived, but in his current state, he wouldn’t gamble and possibly suffer worse injuries.

He remembered the impact that had rattled his skull and nearly shattered his jaw when Couffaine had punched him at the precinct, the rage that lit up his eyes as soon as he saw the lieutenant’s injuries. Chat Noir couldn’t help but feel a hollow sensation spreading from within his chest, did he have breathing problems? Was this a side effect from his still bruised ribs?

…Or did the guilt that ate away at him finally catch up?

Chat Noir’s gaze flicked down to the TV remote and moved from his seat on the couch to grab it. The stouter male officer immediately turned his head in his direction, so fast that Chat Noir thought he might pull a muscle.

“The remote.” He gestured towards the black TV remote on the table and both officers nodded, returning to their senseless activity of chewing on snacks and talking in hushed voices not even Chat himself could pick up.

Grumbling to himself under his breath, the TV flicked to life with one click.

The first thing that greeted him was the poser chef from the grotesque cooking show, the channel was immediately changed, something along the lines of “on my hit list” was muttered into the air.

The other channel made Chat Noir sit straight up, the hairs at the back of his neck standing straight.

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be longer with an intense scene!

AO3

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous #criminal!chat #cop!marinette #cop!mari & criminal!chat #the beast in her home fic #ml fic #miraculous au #ml au #chat noir #marinette dupaincheng #marichat #marichat au #my fic #my fics

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Uhhh. Honestly, as much as I’d like to feel that way, it’s hard. I’m having a difficult time seeing past some of the stuff I’m going through and imagining anything changing. I’m scared it’s only going to stay the same. I mean, there’s been significant progress with some stuff, but I’m still bedridden and not where I’d like to be strength-wise, though that has gotten a little better. I’m lacking the motivation and energy that I need to work on things. And the hope. :/

2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? I mean like I said, I really have made significant progress with one of the major things I’d been dealing with for years. For so long I struggled with it and it seemed to only get worse without much chance at all in getting better, but now here we are. Even in the hospital it had actually gotten worse. However, once I had the feeding tube for awhile and was back home where it could be better managed and monitored by my mom, things really started improving. So, I need to remember that when I feel hopeless and down about other things. If something like that situation managed to really turn around, then the other stuff has a chance as well. 

3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? All I’m able to do right now is go to my doctor appointments. I have two in the next couple weeks. 

4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? My mom goes twice a month for our big grocery trips and gets a lot. 

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? I’ve just been eating the same few foods to be honest. Like, I have Cream of Wheat every morning and Taco Bell for dinner like 5 or 6 times a week. I’ve started having sandwiches most days for lunch. Other foods I throw in the mix sometimes are chicken wings, hot dogs, and pizza. Oh, and of course I eat a lot of Reese’s everyday. :X

6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? I’ve been struggling with something involving a couple family members since last year and I’m afraid to address it to them. I just don’t see that conversation going well. I don’t want to cause any issues or make things weird between us. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. But I am upset with some things that were said and how they went about some things and it’s caused me to be distant and bitter. I don’t want it to be that way, but I can’t seem to just let it go.

7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about?  Hm. I’m blanking at the moment. 

8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I don’t have any friends.

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else's dreams? I always have the most random dreams about the most random people. Like, people I went to elementary school with that weren’t even my friends will show up in my dreams and I’m like wtf??

10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? I do miss Ty. He was a special part of my life for a time and he was there during a time I really needed him. It’s like he was put in my life for that time and then he served his purpose cause it’s like he literally just vanished. He stopped contacting me and deleted all his social media so I had no way of getting in touch. But the time we had together truly was a special time and I just miss him. I even thought at one point he was going to be “the one.” Anyway, I guess I’d just want to tell him what he meant to me and how much of an impact he had on me. I wish we could be in each other’s lives again. 

11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we're basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? No, we’re not Sims. 

12. What worries you most about your future? Like I always say, I’m scared I’ll never get better or get worse and that I won’t do anything with my life. I feel like I’m grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory right now and I don’t want to spend my whole life this way.

13. What is something you do to feel better when you're scared? I mean, it depends what I’m scared about. I guess I typically talk about it with my mom and get comfort and reassurance from her and just try to distract myself with something like ASMR or a show.

14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? I know I can always count on my mom. She is why I’m still here and keep going. 

15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? If I feel comfortable talking to and sharing things with someone is a good indicator. I’d have to get to know them of course and establish a friendship. That takes a little time. And obviously if they don’t give me a reason to feel like I can’t trust them. I’ve met people who clearly like to gossip and I questioned whether I could trust them or not. I kind of just get a feeling, ya know? As for the last time someone broke my trust, it was last year with a couple of people. They did some things that made me feel uncomfortable sharing things with them.

16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I don’t remember. 

17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I used to be the one often giving advice. I don’t tend to ask for advice a lot, but I do try to look up stuff and figure things out on my own. Or I just dwell on stuff and not do anything. 

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? >> I constantly feel lost, figuratively speaking. I almost never feel lost, literally speaking. <<< Yeah, I feel that way as well. I’ve been in a place figuratively for quite some time where I don’t know what to do, what I’m doing, or what is going to happen. I just feel so unsure about everything. I don’t know how to get past this. I don’t even recall the last time I literally felt lost. 

19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I don’t feel I am emotionally strong. In fact, I feel very, very weak. I just feel like such a hopeless mess. I haven’t been handling things well. I don’t know how to get through this. I’ve just kept going and try to get through each day. 

20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? I can’t really think of a book I’ve read to be “the strangest.” Probably some book for school, ha. 

21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I love having shows to watch with my mom and/or brother. I just find it more enjoyable and it’s fun having someone to discuss the show or movie with and freak out together. I also like going on my personal Tumblr and seeing what other people are saying about it about it and reblogging a bunch of stuff. It’s just really fun to get involved in a fandom and share the experience with others. 

22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? I haven’t broken something in quite awhile I don’t think. I’m not much of a fixer upper so I don’t know. 

23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? Ever since I was a kid the number 8 has been my favorite number and it does have some significance to me. 

24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No.

25. What do you get complimented on the most? I’m a total mess so I’m not getting complimented on anything regarding my physical appearance that’s for sure, ha. I also don’t have any skills or talents to be complimented on either. Sooo, nothing. 

26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? Men’s veiny hands are attractive to me for some reason. 

27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? I typically have my breakfast around 11AM and my dinner around 7 or 8PM.

28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching Disney history and ride related videos.

29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? Last March. Feels like forever ago.

30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? >> I wouldn't, really. I just wear and surround myself with what I like, what feels good (physically and emotionally). <<< Ha, I mean yeah same. 

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[furiousgoldfish]

Thanks for opening the inbox again, and a huge thank you for being such an awesome source of information and a great person!

Tw emotional stuff, hints of physical(?), drugs and alcohol, and general uncomfortableness

So about a month ago I was able to finally escape my adoptive parents (emotionally and psychologically abusive, neglectful, physically abusive in the way that they overworked me and I developed health problems because of it, and my adoptive mother pretty much ran a cult (hits almost all the points in the BITE model) ). I ended up going to my aunts in a very far away city, and she made herself sound like a really awesome and good person.

But she is... I wont say she is a bad person because that sounds mean and she is letting me stay at her house rent free, but she is... not great.

Firstly, she drinks, and she drinks quite a bit. She'll go outside and drink some bottles if wine and then some beer and get drunk, and like she isnt the worst drunk?? But she likes to drive people around when she is drunk and can be quite uncomfortable. She also smokes a lot of weed and keeps many many large jars of weed in the house, and will get high at random times and still drive people around high and do stuff like that.

She can be okay when she is high, but she is also high or drunk a lot of the time, and has nearly gotten into car crashes because of it (just within my time of being here that has happened multiple times).

When she isnt high or drunk she can get mad at odd things? She hasnt gotten so mad that she attacks (verbally or physically) but shes done that before in the past. Recently one of the things she's been mad at is my cousin and I spending time together, because of a mix of transphobic, queerphobic, sexist and general projection of past people believes that we will get together into a relationship. BUT I (the older one) would be the victim and the target because I'm the poor little orphan child who has gone through a lot in foster care and everything (but she is part of my adoptive mother's cult and loves her and believes everything she says).

She is super super disrespectful and downright inappropriate with my cousin,and us slowly becoming similar to me? In a way at least. She treats me like a stray dog she took in and doesnt really like what I do too much?? She goes to other people and sometimes cries about what I told her because it was "so terribly sad" even though shes put her own kids and grandkids in similar positions? She also shares my personal information to anyone she wants, including the fact that I'm trans.

She has been getting progressively more mad at my cousin and I (for context, my cousin is also on the run from their horrible parentals and dont have a 100% safe place to be, but their current guardians are better than the last) and it's been really really really uncomfortable. She has used manipulation tactics to get what she wants and has triggered our ptsd big time and then calls us weird, creepy, uncomfortable, and immature for reacting that way.

She also has had talks about how weird it is that I have trauma and absolutely refuses the idea my cousin has been traumatized.

Idk what to do because I really need to move out but I'm not ready to move out (just escaped from a cult and trying to adjust to the world without much of a support system because I wasnt allowed to know many people growing up). My cousin really needs a place to stay but with the whole rumors that my aunt is spreading if they came to live with me things would get worse (they are already seemingly getting worse).

I've also been trying to get a list of places to spend time outside of the house so I can get away from my aunt, but that can only last so long and I dont have anywhere I could go overnight (until my cousin's place is free again, but just like them coming here their guardians can get odd).

Do you have any advice or opinions or pointers or anything youcould offer?? I could deeply appreciate any insight from you.

I've uh, sent a few things in to you before and you've been a big help for insight then. I super appreciatethose times of help, thank you for doing what you do.

I'm so happy you got away, that could not have been easy. It's so fucked up they managed to ruin your health beforehand, I've been affected like that too and I despise it.

I had to look up what BITE model is, and it's Behavioural, Information, Thought and Emotional control, extremely cult oriented, and dedicated to keeping a human being completely controlled. It looks terrifying, here's a link to an explanation for anyone else interested.

I'm glad you're at your aunt's place, this sounds horrific. It's okay to complain about your life conditions anytime, even if you don't pay rent, even if you feel like you owe gratitude. It's important to be able to acknowledge when something bothers us, and isn't in line with how we want to live our life, and you're supposed to do it, at all times.

I'm responding to this as I read, because it's so long, and okay the first complaint is big – I don't think anyone abused would feel safe living with a person who drinks a lot. It's unstable, unpredictable, non-reliable, non-consistent person around you, and you do have to always be on your toes, worrying about what will happen next, because drunk people are not at their most responsible – and driving while drunk is dangerous, I'd be upset as well. It would be much safer and more stable to be in the company and under care of people who are sober, reliable, responsible, consistent, emotionally available to you, and this is not the case, and it has to be stressful, and filling you with anxiety.

Almost car-crashes are terrifying! That's human lives being treated as play.

Mad when sober is even worse, that would freak me out so much, I can't imagine how it is for you. Especially if she's attacked you in the past, it can feel like you have to pretend everything is okay on the surface, but in reality, you're just waiting for the moment when you'll inevitably be attacked. This limbo of not-knowing and always expecting it can be just as bad as abuse, I remember hating it even more. I don't know if you do feel like this, but I'm picking up from the circumstances that it's possibly a concern.

Kinda stunned that you're being judged for the possibility of getting into a relationship with a COUSIN, people will just say anything? I'm so sorry, you do not deserve that kind of phobic projections on you, you should be free to spend time with whoever you please, without anyone getting mad. It sounds like the projections are wild and completely misplaced.

Being disrespectful and innapropriate with your cousin also crosses a line, nobody would choose to live with a person who disrespects their loved ones, and it's becoming clear you're stuck there, and stuck tolerating this. Also pretending to be your saviour but then crying to other people how difficult it is to hear about your pain – that's a violation of trust. Who would want to tell someone about abuse, only for that person to go spread it around with their own narrative of how it burdens them?  Sharing your personal information and your trans status is also invasion of privacy and a breach of trust, that's awful anon.

I hope your cousin and you are a support to each other, and can offer some solace and emotional peace to each other, because it sounds like the world is not treating you with love you deserve.

What the aunt is doing to you is not okay, manipulating a person sick with ptsd is absolutely disgusting, lowest trash behaviour. Victim shaming and blaming them, also, garbage and trash behaviour, gross. Nobody should ever be doing that to you, for as long as you're alive.

I understand you can't immediately go and need some time to gather yourself, to make sense of your situation, and to find some stability within, and that's normal and okay. I wish you'd be treated better, because this toxic treatment can make the trauma worse, or prolong it and normalize it since you still have to suffer abuse, but you're progressing, you're moving forward, and even if it takes time to move, it's okay. I believe in you, and I know you'll go to a place that is safe and fills you with security and warmth.

It's smart to spend time outside! I often did that too when with abusers. It is sad that outside can be draining and doesn't work long term.

I wish I could give you an advice, but all I really can is acknowledge that your situation is bad, that you've done everything right, and that you're right to be disappointed and upset at how badly you're still being treated. Based on where you came from, this might seem like something small, easy to overlook, but it does stir emotions in you and you're able to register it as wrong. That's a great progress to make!

You've escaped from worse than this, and I believe you'll do whatever recovery you can under these conditions, and then when you find a way, get even safer, get a place that makes you feel protected. I wish you the best of luck, if anyone has any other piece of advice for anon, please share it.

#cult abuse #ask #alcoholic caretaker #abusive caretaker #abusive family members #toxic environment #anxiety-filling environment #recovering from abuse #escaping abuse

[sunflowerfoxboy-unused]

Hi, I am Micaela (at least that's the name my parents gave me), and I am not sure about literally anything related to my identity. I'm not very sure about how this works, but I thought you may be able to help(?

Ok first of all I'm afab and even though I don't feel really disphoric ab my body, I do feel a little uncomfortable when people call me "mujer", for example (I live in a spanish speaking country).

I got to think that I maybe could be an nb person, but it still felt a little weird. I haven't discarded it yet, though, since it could be bc I'm not used to the idea.

(Could you please do a pronoun check with the name Mica and pronouns they/them? Some facts about myself: I am really passionate about music in general, but I more specifically really enjoy singing and listening to whatever I feel like listening at the moment. I also love reading and literature in general, though I don't really have the time to focus on this. I do not like running or swimming (like, at all), but I've been trying to lear a little swimming bc ik it's important. Whst else can I say... I have three dogs and they are sooo cute. Um, please mention me as a nonbinary person. I hope that's enough info lol.)

I also thought that I may be just a cis woman who wants to be smth else to make herself interesting (which is pretty sad), but idk.

I even got to consider that I might be a man, but they've got me a little traumatized and it's just really hard to even imagine myself as one (I'm just talking about my personal experience, but still I'm sorry if I made anyone feel ofended on any way).

I don't usually feel comfy wearing very femenine clothes, but sometimes I feel like it so I put on a cute outfit and go somewhere wearing it, and then regret doing it after some minutes. But this could ALSO not have anything to do with gender, so as you can see I'm a confused pile of teenager material. Help me please.

My sexual orientation is a whole mystery as well, but that woul make this way too long, so I'm just gonna sent it like this and, yeah.

Oh I would also appreciate if you could make some more pronoun checks for me, with the same info than the one above but changing a few things :)

1- the one above

2- changing the pronouns for she/they but keeping it nb

3- same as #2 but with she/her

4- same but with he/him

5- same but with he/they

6- keeping they/them but using whatever genders you think might suit me (on different paragraphs please)

7- the same as #6 but with she/they

8- same but with she/her

9- same but with he/him

10- same but with he/they

11- changing the gender to a girl

12- everything again but with Micaela instead of Mica (I'm sorry), and if you can think of a similar name that would sound good in spanish please tell me as well (it's not necessary to make more pronoun checks with that variation, I'm not that mean).

Okay sorry those are a lot of requests, feel free to take your time.

Of course, I will link some feminine/female genders, that I am not sure are in spanish, feel free to check them out!

Mica came by and told me they are non-binary, I didn't know so I asked them about and Mica was very nice. They also use they/them now, so please remember that

I told them she owed some guy money, but they asked me if he was against non-binary people. I realized Mica was scared. I went for them and helped her come out to a random guy. Starts are starts!

Mica got her new coat! She planned she write some poems on it. I told her to just be calm and write as a start, she also showed me some nice art she found. It has non-binary stuff, and I think she is non-binary?

He has a nice voice, also I heard that he goes by Mica, so I need to update his biography. He doesn't know I'm writing his non-binary life to help progression. With his premission.

Mica has made some nice music with me, he has this voice and I told them I know some cello. We made a nice poem-like song, but he wants to try more. Just drabbles, but they could make a career out of it.

6a. They are a demigirl, I asked Mica what is demigirl? They just said that it's when one is part girl or part feminine. They helped me a lot with some other stuff, but Mica is also feeling better. Not so feverish.

6b.They are making a story about paragirls like themself, and I feel like Mica is doing well. They are making me realize I may not be demigender, but I didn't tell them. Maybe later I'll tell Mica?

7a. She got some nice stuff, but I saw a demigirl flag and they shooshed me out? I won't tell her parents, I know they may not like it. I know Mica thinks your safe. Yea, Mica, I was talking about her the whole time.

7b.They came and said that she uses paragirl now, so I know they are ok with stuff like that. She has some knowledge on me, but how much do they know? Mica knows I'm trans and that's it? I should tell her I'm queer too!

8a.I saw her play piano, and she made the song sound like she was saying demigirl, which is her gender right? Anyway, I know she uses she/her, so I'm safe with pronouns. Mica use any new names?

8b.I know she has a dog, but I saw two dogs! Did she get a new dog or did the coming out make me forgot the color of them? Oh, she has 3 dogs. Ok, also Mica told me to tell you she a paragirl.

9a.He got some ncie heels, he told me to get him a newspaper? I think he is watching news more, wait wait, he told me he would make a letter about demigirls like him with newpapers. Mica is just a smart demigirl eh?

9b.I swore I saw him dancing to some song, he should dance more. I know where he is makes him worried, but Mica is missing out. Being a paragirl probably brings problems when girls vs boys comes up, but he could figure it out right?

10a.They have a new skateboard, and he made sure to paint it demigirl colors, which sound nice as frick. They asked if wanted him to paint me one but I don't mind. Mica does enough for themself alone!

10b.I got him, Mica by the way, a new dog sweater. They always want me to make them some, and I do get free dog pictures of the his cute dogs, but I want Mica to learn so I get them for free.

11a.She is just a girl with a hecking voice, I want Mica to get choir classes, but they say no. I respect her choice like their everything, but I am wanting to push this on her.

11b.I gave her a good, time. Made sure she felt like the girl she was. I learned she liked music so I got her some singers stuff. She also is getting some books soon from me.

11c.I told them that they are what they say, but they have been worried about over phone stuff. I think they said they want people to call them a girl and use they/them? I didn't have time to help them.

11d.He got a new book, and he said he has his dogs learning some words. I taught his dogs 'girl' and that Mica was a good girl, so they understood he was. Mica is nice to his dogs.

11e.I made sure they had fun, he got called a girl but they say it's ok, so maybe he is fine with girl? I want to wait until they comfirm it but just a update on him.

For 12 I decided to make a few paragraphs, no gender mentions. I hope it works in place for time for use both!

She got a new name, Micaela, and I know she will make it sound nice! I think she also spells it with a c, not a k, so be careful when spelling her name.

They have a letter written to a classmate you need to carry for me, but Micaela should have written Micaela on it. If you lose it they are after me.

He has some swim gear, and Micaela has wrote his name on it? I don't know why, but I want him to feel safe here, so if Micaela seems scared please ask him if he is.

Madra is a spanish name for girls that sounds nice, but maybe Micaela could work in spanish? I think it can be pronounced fine, but I only took a spanish class two years ago and know nothing anymore, so I am not the best. Monica also sounds nice

As for gender troubles, I had been questioning for a long time. I think exploring all base things is a good thing to do first: like all pronouns you know, etc. The gender bible is a nice place to look especially for dysphoria. Demigirl and Paragirl are gender identitys that are part feminine, and honestly those seem like good starting places. If you go through many labels that's ok!

https://gender.fandom.com/wiki/Demigirl and https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Paragirl

#warmedpronouns #warmedextramilks #pronoun check

[bts-apocalypse-au]

Jimin's P.O.V 🐥 1st May

It's been three weeks since Jin (we're on a first-name basis now) and I first ran here with his class, fleeing the rabid wolves. Things at the zoo are rather prosperous. Jin continues to teach the children using the limited academic resources that the zoo provides, of late most of the lessons have been animal-related but it can't be helped and it's far better than nothing.

Taehyung is friendly but not very social. he's never cold and he's always kind to the children but it almost seems like he feels alienated from us, I suppose it's natural seeing as we're all virtual strangers to each other. At any rate, he's doing amazing work rehabilitating the hurt animals and spends most of his time with them, especially the tigers. I'm of course no animal specialist but I use my surgical skills to help however I can, and I feel as though our friendship is making progress.

When the children are down for their naps and the animals have been adequately tended to the three of us strategise. We've all agreed that it's best for us, because of the large size and young age of most people in our group, to stay here and await rescue instead of trying to seek out help and risk another attack. Sometimes Taehyung makes it sound like he wants to stay here forever, and sometimes I look around and I can't help agreeing with him.

At night the questions eat at all of us.

What has become of our city?

How did this happen?

Will we ever make it out?

Are we the only ones here anymore?

And the children, their parents left them. Who will care for them?

Is the whole world like this now?

And when it all becomes too much I close my eyes and fall asleep to the sounds of the animals.

Jin's P.O.V 🐻

The children love the zoo, it seems to have almost put their parents' "disappearance" out of their minds, and I fear for how long this peace will last.

Most of my lesson material is back at the school but the Zoo isn't devoid of anything, the gift shop is full of books on all sorts of animals and there are posters and animal-themed numbers and letter magnets and blocks, so I can make due.

Storytime is held in the small amphitheater, with stories about monkeys bananas, and Hippos at the drinking pond. Reading and Maths are held in the Staff Room on the sofa with the big whiteboard and animal magnets. And of course, science is all around us. Sometimes I think the children are learning better in this unique environment.

Taehyung has been so generous in letting us stay here, adding almost 20 extra mouths to feed. The children love him when he lets them hold some of the more tame animals and teaches them about the differences between types of owls or lets them play with his robo-dog Yeontan.

When I started to run out of reading material he volunteered his personal collection of books that he brought with him, including the full Harry Potter series.

While I don't know him well it's safe to say that he's a good person and I owe him my life and more.

Taehyung's P.O.V 🐯

The Zoo is my paradise, I'm finally doing what I want to do, where I want to do it but I've never felt more alone. I haven't eaten in almost a month now, and it's not that I'm not hungry (which makes it somehow worse) but that it feels wrong, like some psychological thing that's messing my brain up because I'm not doing "normal" human things anymore.

I'm solar powered if you're wondering. 

My battery, which I would guess is the robotic equivalent of a heart, lasts a week, so every Saturday I just slip away for a few hours to the tiger enclosure to recharge. (Which unfortunately has to be done by taking off my shirt and letting my metal panels soak up the sun's rays.) Usually, I play with Bom, the tiger cub, and try to ignore the fact that I'm now partially made of metal.

Thankfully Jimin and Mr. Kim don't ask many questions. For example, how I got access to part of the city's security grid after it went down. Most of the grid is fried but the few miles I've been able to reboot have helped me track down most of the missing animals. It's surprising, I thought they would've left by now but no, they stay close to home, congregating around the HYBE building. I want to bring it up but I can't figure out how without admitting I'm not wholly human.

Either way, something is up and I think Jimin knows it too. He spoke up about the sketchy vaccines and I had to stay silent instead of thanking him for a new insight into my condition. He says we should investigate but what is there that we can do against a huge corporation like that? And every time he talks about leaving it makes my metal heart hurt a bit. What are they going to do to me on the outside? Will I have to hide forever? Is there even anyone else left to hide from or has the whole planet been consumed by this phenomenon?

My current plan if no rescue comes is to help Jimin Mr. Kim and his class to safety (if there is any) and then make up some reason to stay behind, like serving my purpose with the animals or something. What is my purpose?

Is it to stay here in solitude?

I used to have friends (god knows where they are now) and enjoy being around people, but now I feel like I don't belong.

[carnie-calorie-counter]

Day 1 of 90•160

So it's obvious now that I'm planning my death. And some people know that I want to die on my birthday. Well I realize me getting drunk and admitting that was really, really dumb. So, I'm gonna pretend to get better and hope it makes all anxiety and worry about me dying disappear from people's minds.

If I'm successful and everything goes as planned then I'm just gonna keep researching places near me and find a quiet place where kids aren't at and I'm just gonna take some pills and hope the coma route doesn't happen.

I am sad actually since I didn't really want it to come to this, but it's really no ones fault but my own. I mean I was the kid who failed to grow up and I probably deserved the abuse because I was such a hard kid to raise...

I really was horrible and still am.

Anyway, I'm gonna do a diary everyday if possible and just let the days count down. I'll post this accounts name to my main because Lord and Lady knows that Eliza most likely won't say anything lol.

I don't want any of you to try anything after me okay? Because honestly, you all actually have places in life and have the ability to be good people and progress through your trauma. I'm never going to be able to be normal, and after twenty something years I can see it now. Not only that every time I've thought about my death I cry and I think that's incredibly narcissistic, telling and a huge sign that I'll never get better.

The reason I've chosen OD is because I'm too chicken to slice my wrist open and I don't wanna jump off a bridge or building and have someone call a clean up crew.. I don't wanna be THAT much of a burden in the beginning stages of my leave. It defeats the purpose.

It's all very surreal if I'm honest, I'm obviously going through the grieving stages. Of knowing I'll never be normal and knowing what I have to do to lessen the blow on everyone else. I'm happy one day, torn apart the next and then I'm calm. Calm as calm could be.

I've utilized the Do Not Disturb on my phone finally, it helps because I think eventually I'll stop wanting for attention at all. My absence may also really help everyone, you know, get over the person they'll eventually learn was really fucked in the head.

I'm gonna miss my dog, but everyone else will either abandon her like they would have abandoned me if I kept on living or they will be definite better owners than I had been.

I'll miss food, I've already looked up ways to help me decompose better if my friends go the funeral route and I'm gonna be liquid dieting until I completely stop eating/drinking. It'll be nice to be kinda skinny when I die though, that's a mediocre plus I guess.

I never actually had sex either, I mean I'm not a virgin but I don't really think I've ever been able to finish, have anyone else finish, or be able to say I liked any of it. It actually makes me feel like a failure too, I mean I'm supposedly hypersexual so I should just enjoy it no matter what right?

Sometimes I wish I were okay with all I wasn't alright with, maybe then I wouldn't be so insufferable.

I seek attention and I'm gonna start being alone to think about why I seek so much attention. It's not healthy for anyone because no one should have to be around me when I want attention just because I want it. I should earn it honestly. But I'm obviously not earning it and I'm not enough because I'm not getting enough. You know, data tells. Or something like that.

You know I'm really depressed too. Like it sucks knowing I have to die but what sucks is it got THIS bad until I decided "yo, nothings gonna fix so we gotta find out what to fuckin do" and the final fix was death lol

That's so sad and pathetic isn't it?

I chose 90 OR 160 days because I'm either dying on my birthday (161 days from today) or I'm gonna try dying in a cold month if my head gets too horrible to handle. (90 days)

I might have to start biting at people since I heard if you get people pissed at you before you're dead they won't miss you and they'll forget you easier.

Well this is all I can say for today.

It's 5:01 PM and I have work tomorrow

It's Wednesday June 28th 2023

And eventually I won't be here anymore 🪻

#gelli #countdown diary

[forever-rogue]

if you’re still taking requests for Bucky, can you do one from this quote if it sparks any inspiration: ‘when you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can stand in front of them and show yourself and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.’

A/N: please, this is so soft 🥺

Pairing: Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: none

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

A heavy sigh escaped soft lips as Bucky laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling. There was almost no sound in the room besides the rhythmic ticking of the aging clock on the wall, combined with the sounds wafting in from the open window, and the almost non-existent humming of his vibranium appendage. He reached his hand up to his chest to ground himself by touching the dog tags that had been his for way too many years now. A temporary moment of panic set into his bones when he realized there was nothing there, but revelation quickly dawned on him as he remembered that they were currently with you. The last he’d seen them, you were wearing them, the metallic silver tags safely nestled under the soft fabric of your t-shirt.

When he’d given them to you, a sign of his desire to call you his, among other things, he never actually expected that you’d wear them. The first time he’d spied you wearing them, along a casual outfit consisting of jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers, he’d almost short circuited. There was something about comforting knowing they were safe and sound in your possession now. They were yours now too - just like he was.

A gentle tugging lifted the corners of his mouth into the semblance of a smile. How foreign it still felt sometimes, the gentle feeling of blossoming happiness and knowing he was loved. Loved. What a strange and odd concept that was. He couldn’t remember the last another soul had told him they loved him besides in the most platonic sense. But the first time you’d whispered those words to him, so effortlessly, so easily, I love you, his whole world came to a screeching halt and he was sent into a wild spiral that left him speechless. Bucky hadn’t reciprocated your words then; but it wasn’t long after that he did. It had been a half shout, half declaration as you just grinned at him, pulling him against your lips and only letting him go when you were both breathless and dizzy.

He relaxed at the thought, settling against the pillow as he reminded himself to swim in happy memories, rather than drown in the ghosts of the past.

His phone vibrated against the glass top of the coffee table as it startled him out of his stupor, causing him to almost roll off the couch in surprise. He scrambled to grab the phone, and relaxed when he saw your name on the screen. Straightening himself up, he cleared his throat before answering, “hi sweetheart.”

“Bucky!” your excited voice on the other end of the line made his heart relax as he just imagined you bouncing around your small floral shop, making sure everything was perfect, “it’s about time you answered, old man. I’ve called you like three times! Did I disturb your afternoon nap, Barnes?”

“Hey, watch who you’re calling an old man,” he snorted as he stood up and stretched, surprised by how easily you were able to read him, “I got decades on you, kid, respect your elders.”

“Respect me when I’m right,” you grinned as he laughed lightly. How easily everything seemed to flow between the two of you; he’d never thought he could have anything like this again. Even once he’d left Wakanda and life slowly went back to a semblance of normality after the Blip, he still had a hard time trusting people; perhaps, more than anything else, he didn’t trust himself.

While he knew he was himself again, Bucky, and not the Winter Soldier, he still was never quite convinced that he wouldn’t ever go back. For so long he had been nothing but a killer, it was hard to believe that he could ever be fully himself again. So he’d closed himself off, steeled himself, despite the constant reassurance from the people around him that it was okay to let others in. He couldn’t trust himself - after so long...how could he? How was he just supposed to be able to pick the pieces and just be James again?

But he was learning, over time, slowly, bit by bit, that it was okay to let people in, okay to feel, and be okay and also not be okay. Sure, some days were hard, but the good days were good. And they were getting to become more and more frequent.

“Bucky? Hello?” you called his name from the other line, trying to get him to snap back into attention, “James? James Buchanan Barnes?”

“S-sorry,” his voice was soft and gentle for a moment, “I...yeah.”

“Yeah,” you teased softly, “zoning out again huh, my love? I know how you get. What are you thinking about, Bucky?”

“Nothing much,” he admitted, shrugging to himself despite the fact that you weren’t able to see him, “when are you off?”

“Whenever I want to be,” you reminded him, “I’m the boss now, remember? Why do you ask? Got some grand plans for us?”

“Nah,” he confessed, “just want to come and see you. Is it okay if I stop in? I’d come and bring you some flowers...but that would seem a little...on the nose.”

“Ahh, look at you,” he could practically hear you grinning, “very clever, aren’t you? Come and see me - it’s been slow so I might as well close up when you get here. Maybe we can go for a walk and get dinner?”

“Sounds great,” he agreed softly, “see you soon.”

“See you soon, Bucky.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

While you waited for Bucky to arrive, a brilliant idea popped into your head. You quickly grabbed a vase and started to gather some of the flowers that reminded you of him. It wasn’t long before you had a variety of them, neatly arranged and topped off with a bow, ready and waiting for him. He walked into your small shop, ready to announce himself but quickly found that he didn’t have to.You were perched up on the counter, swinging your legs back and forth as you tilted your head to the side and studied him with a small smile. He was dressed casually today, sporting a dark blue henley and a pair of well fitting jeans. His arm, intricate and beautifully designed golden and black vibranium, wasn’t on full display, nor was it completely hidden. Progress; a step in the right direction, albeit small. He’d get there when he’d get there and if that took another five years or fifty, you planned on being there for him.

“Hi James,” you popped off the counter and met him halfway, letting him wrap you up and envelope you in his warm, tight grasp. His arms, his body, was your favorite place to be. You never felt more safe and secure than when you were wrapped up in him, “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed me?” he chuckled as you just nodded, pouting lightly as he couldn’t help but kiss you softly, “it’s only been a few hours since we’ve seen each other.”

“I know,” you ran a hand through his dark hair, “but it doesn’t mean I can’t miss you, does it?”

“I suppose you’re right,” he agreed as you took his hand and pulled him over to the counter. Bucky dramatically rolled his eyes as he trailed after you. Your hand looked so small in his hand; delicate skin contrasted against harsh callouses as you gave him a squeeze of reassurance. Whatever hesitation or tension was left in his body seeped, replaced by a feeling of saccharine bliss, “what are you up to?”

“You always think I’m up to something,” standing in front of the flowers, you paused, studying his features before reaching up to tenderly cradle his face in your hands. Bucky, resilient and strong, turned into a puddle of mush and practical whimpers as you traced a delicate fingertip across his features, “perhaps this time you’re right.”

“Tell me then,” he turned his face, pressing a gentle kiss to your palm as you used your free hand to reach behind you and push the vase to your side so he could see the ornate display. Blue eyes narrowed, highlighting the wary crease in his brow before they widened, softening all the way through. His hand slinked down to your waist, a light squeeze followed as he shuffled to the side and studied the flowers. Bright yellows and oranges, brilliant crimsons and pinks, and mellow pastels were suddenly under his intense scrutiny as he took in the sight of the blossoms, “w-what are these?”

“And here I was, thinking you were smart,” standing behind him, you wrapped your arms around his waist, delicately and slowly at first so you wouldn’t startle him. His frame stiffened for a mere moment before he relaxed, the weight of your head on his back a welcome burden he was happy to bear, “these are called flowers.”

“Very funny,” you could feel the laugh vibrate through his chest as a hand, one colder and more metallic than normal, but still all him, settled on your own. Pressing a line of soft kisses to his shoulders, you listened to the steady beating of his heart, “what’s the occasion?”

“There is none,” you insisted, “I just thought you would enjoy them. Look at the colors and blossoms, they all reminded me of you. So brilliant and warm and bright and lovely - just like you, Bucky.”

A few beats of silence met your ears as he inhaled and exhaled deeply, a million thoughts swirling around his mind. Before you could speak or say anything else, he turned around in your arms so he was facing you. He gestured between you and the flowers for a few moments, finding himself at a loss for words, “me?”

“Yes,” you promised him, “for you. Do you like them?”

“I love them,” he reassured you, an easy warmth settling over you, “back in the day I would have been doing this for you…”

‘You’ve gotten me flowers plenty of times,” you laughed, a sound that had easily become his favorite thing in almost no time, “besides, you deserve some nice things too.”

“I’ve been thinking…”

“That’s a new one,” you teased as he jokingly groaned, “ I jest! I’ve noticed you’ve been a little more quiet and stoic lately...I didn’t even know that was possible for you. What’s been on your mind, my love?”

“There’s this quote that came into mind...I heard it somewhere, but I can’t remember from what or who,” he mused as he rubbed thoughtfully at his chin, “it’s something along the lines of ‘when you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can stand in front of them and show yourself and their response is “you’re safe with me” - that’s intimacy.’ I feel like...I can do that with you - like I can be myself and you’re not judging me, even though you know who I am.”

“Bucky - James - I know who you are,” it was surprising you didn’t melt into a puddle then and there, melting into nothingness at his feet. You leaned in, looking at his eyes for a few moments before capturing his lips in a soft kiss. You broke apart slowly, reluctantly before resting your forehead against his, “I know exactly you who are. And I love you for it - a good man, friend, partner, and so many other things. You are good, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks. Fuck them - the people that know you know who you really are.”

“Even after…”

“Even after everything that’s happened,” you promised, “you are safe with me. I’m not going to suddenly turn my back on you and walk away. I love you, Bucky. You have me, now and forever, and I’ve got you, always. That’s not going to change. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you could feel him smiling against your lips as he breathed you in and let you overwhelm his senses, “I know that.”

“Good,” you smiled as you reached for his hand, “let’s go to get dinner. I’m starving.”

“Don’t you need to close up?”

“Nah,” you winked at him, “I closed up as soon as we got off the phone earlier so we would have interruptions. C’mon Buck, I’m going to take you for a night on the town! What do you say?”

“Sounds perfect,” he agreed, “there’s just one more thing.”

“Hmm?”

“This,” he pulled you into his arms and kissed you deeply as your body melded into his, “I love you too.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #tfatws #bb imagine