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#anyways have you guys listened to will wood's new album?
thetomorrowshow · 1 year
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what to keep
Trust AU Masterlist  -  Previous
i couldn’t leave yall on a cliffhanger for too long :) here’s the next part of the trust au!
cw: blood, violence, vomiting, vertigo
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They blindfold him first.
He’s not sure why—he’s seen the portal before, and he knows exactly where they are. It isn’t like spinning him around is going to make him lose his sense of direction in this instance. They spin him anyways. Too much. All it does is make him nearly throw up. He manages to hold it back, even if his stomach sloshes rebelliously.
At some point during his repeated swallowing, rough hands tear off his elytra. He doesn’t know who. He doesn’t know why they literally pulled through the leather harness instead of unbuckling it from around his chest. All he knows is that with a snap, the light wings are brushing against the backs of his legs and crumpling to the floor at his heels.
“Ready to go to the End, Jimmy?” Sausage crows, stripping off Jimmy’s long gloves and using them to tie his wrists together. They’d torn his veil to use for the blindfold, so he isn’t exactly surprised that no one thought to bring rope. He flexes his wrists at first, hoping to relax them later and slip out of the binds, but Sausage pinches his hands until he stops.
He supposes they really want him to stay out of the way while they fight the dragon rumored to be on the other side—otherwise, they wouldn’t bother to go through all this trouble when every person in this room has beaten Jimmy in a fight and could easily take him down if he were to try to escape.
The End is also supposed to have a lot of Endermen, isn’t it? Maybe the blindfold is because they don’t want him looking in the eyes of a stray Enderman, bringing it upon them and causing chaos.
Which would actually be a decent plan, and Jimmy’s kind of ashamed that they clearly thought of it before he did.
He doesn’t answer Sausage, aiming for an enigmatic and proud presence. Even if his pride is currently in pieces on the floor, he’s not the angry fry he once acted like. He’s a hero to his people, a cod of great importance. He can at least pretend to be worthy of that.
“Gosh, whatever Scott did to him made him so boring,” drawls Joey, close enough behind Jimmy that he can feel his breath on his neck. “He’d usually still be fighting right now. I miss that.”
“Yeah, well, we don’t have that kind of time, honestly,” fWhip says. He sounds distracted, and Jimmy wonders for a brief second what on earth fWhip could be focused on that’s more important than this. “We can go beat the crap out of Smajor after this if you want a fight, okay?”
A sigh. “Fine. Let’s go, then! Can’t keep my XorXor waiting!”
Jimmy doesn’t have a chance to share his thoughts (most of which consist of utter refusal and demands for freedom) before he’s shoved forward, feet finding nothing before him.
He falls, and falls, and falls—the air is thin, so much thinner than anything he’s used to—his heart drops into his stomach and he thinks he screams—
Then he hits solid ground.
He finally loses the battle to his stomach and vomits on hands and knees, barely able to catch himself. He reaches blindly forward and meets nothing, nothing but the edge of a platform and what could be a short drop or an endless void. He doesn’t know.
He spits a couple of times, clearing out any last chunks, then rocks back onto his heels, feeling all around with his bound hands together to see if there’s another drop-off.
Once he feels secure, he reaches up, intending to tear off the blindfold, but before he can do anything there’s a thud beside him and the sound of someone retching.
At least he’s not the only one.
Two more thuds come in quick succession, but nobody else throws up, which is probably for the best but would’ve felt like a small victory, if Jimmy’s honest with himself.
“Oh, wow,” fWhip murmurs, closer than Jimmy expected. “Look at her.”
I can’t, I’m blindfolded, Jimmy wants to snark back, but he restrains himself. He wonders, briefly, who it is that fWhip’s looking at.
Then he hears the heavy beating of wings in the distance and he knows.
“Sausage, bridge out,” commands fWhip. “Joey, when you’re done puking, help me with him.”
Jimmy only has a minute’s peace before he’s being grabbed under both arms, two people (ostensibly fWhip and Joey) dragging him to his feet. In the process, whatever knot Sausage had used to tie his gloves pulls apart, the binds falling to the ground.
Perfect. The first step to escape!
Like there’s anywhere to escape to, at this point. And he doesn’t get the chance to try, Joey pinning his arm to his body on one side and fWhip doing the same on the other. He’s well and truly stuck between them, no choice but to follow along with them.
They frogmarch him away from wherever it is that they’d landed, across what feels like cobblestone until they hit unfamiliar ground, ground that’s uneven in an unrecognizable way. He stumbles over it with almost every other step, toes getting caught in holes and ankles rolling over mounds. His companions do nothing to help him.
He can hear Endermen nearby. He doesn’t usually fight Endermen, preferring to let them mind their own business, so as long as those vwoops stay far away from him, everything will be fine. He’s blindfolded, anyway. He shouldn’t be able to anger them.
“Sausage, you take him,” Joey says suddenly, next to Jimmy’s right ear. His shoulders hunch at the unexpected noise. “I’m going to go start the summoning.”
There’s a roar overhead, and Jimmy ducks, turning his head this way and that, as if he’ll catch a glimpse of the dragon. fWhip chuckles, continues to pull him along. Joey drops away, a sturdier body taking his place.
Then, suddenly, they stop. With a smile in his voice, Sausage pronounces, “Jimmy, welcome to the End!”
The blindfold is pulled loose.
Before Jimmy is an endless void.
He gapes at it, at the little flecks of color floating in the blackness. It’s—well, it’s pretty, but not what he’d expected. He’d expected to actually see . . . something.
He looks down. The ground beneath him is made up of some sort of yellowish, holey, coral-like thing. It’s kind of gross-looking, honestly. And beyond is just—nothing.
“I don’t understand,” he says, voice oddly suppressed for such an open space. Sure, he’s never seen anything like this before—but where is the dragon? The Endermen? The rumored towers and pyres, the cities and creatures unknown?
This is just—nothing.
“How about we show you,” fWhip snickers, before shoving him hard in the back.
He very nearly falls. He stumbles, arms flailing, and he very nearly pitches headfirst into the abyss before him, but one of the odd holes in the ground catches his heel and helps him regain his balance, if a couple steps closer to the edge.
Just because he doesn’t fall doesn’t mean he didn’t come very close, and Jimmy’s suddenly sweating all over, stomach flip-flopping as adrenaline pumps through.
fWhip pushed him. fWhip meant to send him careening over the edge, into nothingness.
fWhip just tried to kill him.
And Jimmy isn’t inclined to believe it was a joke.
“This is it?” he whispers, horror gnawing at his insides. Forget that he gave away the location, forget that he lost the Codfather head, this is the end!
This is the End.
“This is the End? Death is the End?” he manages, glancing back toward fWhip and Sausage.
Sausage shrugs. “That’s one interpretation.”
fWhip feints forward, arms out to push him again, and Jimmy ducks away, left foot catching on the edge and throwing off his balance entirely. He windmills for a moment before properly regaining his footing, one eye on the void behind him and one eye on his captors.
Behind them, he can see a tower of obsidian. Several Endermen loiter around it. The End is otherwise unpopulated.
The only witnesses of his death will be his enemies.
His family isn’t here. Lizzie and Joel are probably fast asleep somewhere, not even aware that the jig is up and their brother is about to die. He won’t ever see them again, he won’t get to make up for his mistakes, he won’t ever get to hug them and let them know how much he cares about them ever again.
He’d never even told Scott he loves him.
It seems silly, now, how he’d danced around it. How he’d never outright confessed. There’d been so many perfect times, so many opportunities to share his feelings, but he’d been too scared of rejection to take the chance. And here he is, moments from his death, and Scott will never know how he feels.
He’ll never know that he was one of the greatest loves of Jimmy’s life. His savior. The first spot of light in an endless void.
“Why?” he asks, and he’s never felt more detached from a word.
“Like I said, you’ve become an issue,” fWhip says, punctuating his words by stepping closer. “You had to go talk, get Scott in your little alliance and let him spread all those vicious lies about how cruel we are. Now Gem barely trusts me!”
“And Katherine doesn’t trust us at all!” Sausage pipes up. fWhip nods.
“See, Jimmy, you’ve got a good heart. And that makes people like you, and trust you, even if you are a bit hotheaded. You’re someone they care about. Taking you out will drop their morale real fast.” fWhip shrugs, then adds, “And you’ve just been really annoying lately. I kinda just want you dead.”
Jimmy swallows. His eyes and ears dart back and forth between Sausage and fWhip. He can maybe take one of them, but certainly not both. That had been proven in the woods back home.
And even if he did manage to squirm free, he has no clue how to get home. Joey and the demon would grab him before he could do more than get back to where they had started—wherever that was.
This is it. This is . . . this . . . this is the end.
fWhip pushes him.
It’s almost in slow-motion. His foot slips, his arms stretch out (as if to grab something and pull himself back up, but there’s nothing there, of course there’s nothing) and he’s falling, he’s falling, he’s falling into the void.
They laugh as he falls. There’s no regret in either of their expressions. They just watch, and they laugh.
He’s a swimmer by nature, and though the void’s air is a bit thinner than earth’s, when Jimmy falls, his back arcs gracefully, his fins and arms outstretched to provide whatever resistance they can.
Air rushes past him, battering his earfins and whistling in his ears, but he just closes his eyes
And doesn’t think
And falls.
And Jimmy ceases to exist in his mind.
The only sound is the wind. The pervading silence of the void presses in, becoming more and more invasive.
And it’s beautiful, in its own sightless way. Utterly incomparable, when this is all that has been and all that will be and the silence and the wind are the only reference points in history. The wind is still, constant, a low roaring that will never end even as time unravels. The silence isn’t still, but ever-moving, fluid, pushing and pulling and taking without giving. 
It’s not too long before the void starts to hurt.
The pressure of the silence weighs down harder and harder, pulling away with a vengeance to strip him of what he used to be. It hurts, it burns with the blazing fire of nothing he’s ever known, and yet there���s nothing he can do. He has no voice with which to scream, stolen away by the silence. No control over what occurs. He falls, and all he knows is pain.
It’s not too long before he feels a fin on his arm pull away, the skin and scales on his neck and hands starting to flake off as his clothing pulls apart as well.
He forces open his eyes, even as it feels as though needles are pricking through the lids. The world above is a very small blink of light.
And that light illuminates something.
Something that’s quite quickly coming closer.
And then there are arms around him and shouting in his ear and the sound of wings and blue hair and—
“Hold on!” Scott yells, cracking through the silence, and it still hurts, it hurts badly to even think (and it’s affecting Scott too, his nose is bleeding and a patch of his face is bright red with new, scabbing skin), but what’s left of Jimmy does his best to pull the pieces of himself back together and desperately hold onto Scott.
It’s slow, of course, Scott’s wings stutter a few times but he manages to find the strength to carry Jimmy’s deadweight and lift him higher, until the light above becomes a more-defined place rather than just a pinprick in a sea of nothing.
Jimmy sucks in a breath that he hadn’t realized was in his chest. He hasn’t been breathing, he registers vaguely; it’s easier to not breathe, it’s easier to let the darkness claim him.
“I’ve got you, okay?” Scott gasps, voice cracking, and Jimmy just hangs there, limp, trying to remember how to breathe.
How much time has passed? How long has he been falling?
“You’re okay. You’ve got to be okay, all right? I. . . .” Scott trails off, his chest heaving as his wings work to support both their weight.
Jimmy doesn’t doubt for a moment that he’ll save them.
And after several long minutes of flying straight up, Scott collapses onto holey, coral-like ground, still clutching Jimmy to him.
It’s as if, suddenly, a bubble has popped. No longer is Jimmy’s world just the oppressive silence of the void and Scott’s breathing. Now there’s screaming, shouts of directions, the roaring of a dragon, explosions, and it’s so much noise—
Scott pushes away from him and sits up, and Jimmy sees tears streaking down his face, delicate hands coming up to frame Jimmy’s face. “You’re alive,” he whispers. “I got you. You’re gonna be okay.”
His whole body aches, stinging in patches where he’d begun to—disintegrate? Fall apart? He’s not sure. He’s not sure all that happened in the void, can barely comprehend some of it, so he pushes it to the side and places his hands over Scott’s, looking up at him from where he lies on the ground.
Scott’s hair is plastered to his forehead with sweat, blood dripping from his nose down his lips, his chest is rising and falling rapidly with every frantic breath, his eyes are wild and terrified and so very bright.
The beauty of the void’s silence pales in comparison.
“I’m alive,” he croaks, and he’s really—he’s alive.
Scott saved him.
As if struck by impulse, Scott leans forward and presses a kiss to Jimmy’s forehead, small and sweet and full of so many emotions.
And Jimmy didn’t die.
“I love you,” he blurts out, the rasp of his voice putting a strain on his vocal cords. He doesn’t care. He didn’t die. “I love you. I love you.”
There’s so much more he wants to say. He wants to explain that he had been about to die without ever confessing his feelings. He wants to tell him that it’s okay if the feeling isn’t mutual, because he nearly died and somehow that makes everything that once seemed important fall away.
He wants to tell him how he’s looked at him every day and fallen a little deeper into love, even as his heart breaks again and again.
He doesn’t, though. He can’t find the words.
“I love you,” Jimmy says again, even as his voice collapses on itself. “I’m in love with you.”
And Scott, to his credit, only looks utterly shocked for a moment before he bends down and kisses Jimmy on the lips.
It’s quick, and Scott’s lips are chapped but soft and warm, and it’s a lot to feel for someone who had been convinced he’d never feel anything again as he fell into a comfortless void, but it’s got so much love behind it, and when Scott pulls back, Jimmy sees stars in his eyes.
“I love you,” Scott tells him, his fingers digging into Jimmy’s cheeks in a way that’s almost painful but mostly grounding. “We’re talking more about this later. I have to—Xornoth—”
Scott shifts as if to leave, but his hands don’t let go of Jimmy’s face. Jimmy squeezes his hands briefly, pushes him away. “I’m fine. Go,” he rasps, using Scott’s hands to pull himself up into a sitting position.
Scott nods, brushes Jimmy’s knuckles against his lips, then runs, feet pounding against the uneven ground.
There’s a battle beyond Scott. The dragon twisting furiously through the air while figures throw potions at it. People running to and fro, destroying strange floating crystals or replacing them. A dark presence atop one of the obsidian towers. So much shouting and screaming.
And Scott loves him.
There are black spots on his vision when he stands, and his legs and arms don’t feel quite like they’re where they belong, but at least he can stand. At least he’s alive.
One step at a time, he heads toward the battle, until the steps become easier and easier and he doesn’t feel as though the ground is going to collapse beneath him, sending him once again into that peacefully horrible void.
He’s exhausted. He’s bleeding all over, patches where his skin had disintegrated now raw and painful. The air of the End, again, is thinner than the Overworld, making it hard to get a good breath in and leaving him a little lightheaded. His limbs are still shaking from the trauma of falling to his death just moments ago, adrenaline and despair still crowding his brain.
But he has his people to think of. And his family. And Scott.
Jimmy dives headfirst into Sausage, knocking him away from Shubble, who had been facing away, easing a strange floating bundle of crystals to life.
They both hit the ground hard, and what little breath Jimmy had gained is knocked out of him, making his vision fuzz as he rolls on top of Sausage, pinning his arms to his side with his legs.
Sausage’s eyes widen when he sees Jimmy, face going from determined to complete shock in a matter of milliseconds. “I—but you—fWhip—”
Jimmy runs a hand under his nose, wiping away a trickle of blood, and does his best to grin, despite the way he feels his lip split with the motion. “Think twice before trying to kill me next time, yeah?”
There are a lot of things in life that Jimmy finds satisfying—squishing and molding slime with his fingers, running a hand over burlap sacks full to bursting of grain, skimming along the surface of the ocean with a pack of dolphins—but none of them even come close to punching Sausage square in the nose.
Sausage howls, trying to wriggle out from under him. Jimmy would’ve hit him again—he really wants to, after all—but before he gets the chance, there’s a bone-rattling roar from behind him and the force of it sends him and Sausage flying meters apart, both scrambling for purchase on the holey ground.
It’s enough to start his head spinning, but Jimmy starts to get back up, a bad taste in the back of his mouth.
There’s a rush of wind and a figure lands beside him, pulling him into a hug before he can even register what’s happening.
“Don’t you dare do that again!” Joel practically screams, gripping him so tight Jimmy can’t breathe. “Lucky Scott was awake—you could’ve died, you idiot—”
Joel cuts off his rambling when Jimmy buries his face in his chest, weak hands gripping him as tight as he can.
“Hey—it’s all right,” Joel says awkwardly, though he makes no move to detach himself from Jimmy.
Jimmy can’t bring himself to speak, just does his best to not cry. He’s alive, but it had been so close. He’d been mere moments from never seeing his family again, and now Joel is here and real and—
“You look terrible, Jim—why don’t you stay out of the way, yeah, and when we’re done here—”
“Sorry,” Jimmy chokes out, but he doesn’t let go. “I didn’t mean—it was—”
Joel shushes him, pats his shoulder lightly. “I’ve got to get back to it, but—stay here, yeah? We can talk later.”
And then Joel’s gone, and Sausage has run off too, and there’s so much going on that Jimmy doesn’t even know where to look.
And suddenly, it all explodes.
Not all of it, certainly, but the dragon does, rising into the air and bursting apart into little pops of light, creating a rather morbid fireworks show.
Across the battlefield, Jimmy sees Scott fall to his knees. Katherine shields her eyes to look up at the dragon. Pix lets his sword hang at his side.
And past the sounds of the dying dragon, Jimmy can hear a horrible, echoing laugh.
He may be alive, but they’ve lost.
 -
 None of the other emperors blame him. When he tries to apologize, they wave him off, say that it would have been found eventually.
He can see the disappointment in their eyes, though. Whatever his intentions, Jimmy has caused the rule of the demon.
It’s Pix who carries Jimmy to the Ocean Kingdom infirmary, who sits by his side through all the hustle and bustle and impromptu meetings of rulers, gathered in the infirmary both for Jimmy’s convenience and for treatment of various small wounds.
It’s a solemn gathering, bereft of the three on the other side, with Gem hovering awkwardly near the door as if she shouldn’t be here.
“It’s my fault as much as it is anyone’s,” she admits when Jimmy first tries to own up. “I knew they had the Codfather head, I’m so sorry, Jimmy—they told me they wanted to put it in the End, so I helped look for the portal. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“They shouldn’t have taken it in the first place,” Joel points out. Lizzie is beside him, radiating such powerful levels of anger that no one has been brave enough to meet her eyes, for fear that her ire will fall on them. “That was a violation of the House Blossom Alliance, and probably like, a declaration of war, honestly.”
“Jimmy—why didn’t you tell us that they took it?” asks Katherine, face twisted in a grimace as she applies pressure to a small but deep cut on her arm. “That seems like a very important piece of information. We could’ve helped!”
Jimmy avoids looking at Scott. “Political reasons,” he mutters. That doesn’t satisfy Katherine, though, so he amends to say, “To save face, mostly. Admitting that one of the most precious treasures of the Cod Empire had been stolen? Terrible for PR, and makes us look like a target.”
Gem knows something, Jimmy realizes with a sinking feeling as she shoots him a look, then glances away. Sausage must’ve shared with the rest of the Wither Rose Alliance the importance of the Codfather head.
Katherine, on the other hand, gasps. “Wait—your engagement, though! Was that just a cover-up, to make your empire appear stronger than ever? You guys tricked me?”
Right on the money. Jimmy opens his mouth, about to concede, but Scott interrupts.
“No,” Scott says firmly. Everyone looks toward him—leaning against the wall, hair messy, the permanent bags under his eyes heavy and dark. His eyes are fixed on Jimmy, who can’t seem to look away.
Scott loves him.
“The betrothal was rushed, for certain reasons, but I still intend to marry Jimmy,” Scott continues, and the way Jimmy’s stomach flips—
“Our betrothal may be put on hold to deal with recent developments. That does not mean we are not fully committed to each other, nor is it indicative of the legitimacy of our relationship. I will not be saying any more on the matter.”
Shubble changes the subject pretty quickly after that, but Jimmy can’t keep hold of the conversation. He just . . . gazes at Scott, Scott who loves him. Scott who just risked his life to save Jimmy, who held him and kissed him and said that he loved him.
He can only bask in the wonder of it for so long before it’s just too tiring to think of. His eyelids start drooping, and someone must notice, because at some point he blinks and the infirmary is nearly empty, just him and an attending nurse.
He should probably be involved in whatever discussion is going on without him, but he doesn’t think he’s strong enough to even get up, let alone walk to a meeting and stay awake for the entirety of it.
Instead, he leans back and lets his eyes flutter shut, happy to sleep. He can deal with the nagging guilt later. He needs rest right now.
He’s not sure how long he’s asleep, only that the lights are low when he wakes again, no sun shining through the windows.
That doesn’t tell him anything—when they’d returned from the fight, it had still been in the early hours of the morning. Has he been asleep for an entire day, then, and it’s night again, or has it been maybe an hour, the sun not yet risen?
There’s a creak beside him, and Jimmy starts, turns to look.
“Sorry,” Lizzie whispers, in a chair at Jimmy’s bedside. “I was on my way out, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
It’s Lizzie. It’s his sister, and he almost died and never saw her again and somehow he’s been so lucky as to have a second chance.
He struggles to sit up, his body so stiff it feels as though he’s been sleeping for a thousand years.
“Don't hurt yourself—” Lizzie moves to help him, hands steadying Jimmy’s shoulders. Jimmy, however, doesn’t lie back down—instead, he wraps his arms around Lizzie, holding her as tightly as his unforgiving muscles will allow.
Lizzie doesn’t react for a moment, but when she does, she sits on the bed beside him, hefting him partly into her lap and enveloping him in her arms.
And there, in the hold of his sister, Jimmy finally cries.
He’s alive, and his sister is alive, and they’re here together.
He’s not sure how long he quietly cries into Lizzie’s shirt, but when he raises his head at a sound, cheek sticking to her briefly, the room is still empty, door clicking shut. It’s just him, crying, and Lizzie, rubbing his arm comfortingly in a way that only family knows how.
“Sorry,” he croaks, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Lizzie hushes. “You just survived certain death. Scott said—” her voice breaks— “Scott said it was really close. That must have been traumatic.”
Jimmy nods. It was traumatic. And if what he’s been saying to Scott lately is true, then it’s okay to not be okay after such an ordeal. It’s okay to take time to get back to normal.
“And you know what?” Lizzie continues, squeezing his arm. “We may not admit it, but we all would have done the same. Scott showed us the messages he sent you. We all would have fallen for it.”
Jimmy doesn't want to think about that. He doesn’t want to consider how he’s caused many deaths and years of darkness.
He just grips Lizzie a little tighter, numb fingers curling in the fabric of her shirt.
“Sleep, please. You look exhausted.”
He needs to talk to Scott still. They need to figure out exactly what they are now, what that means for them in the future.
But not right now. Right now he can feel sleep pulling at him, allowing him to relax in the safe embrace of his sister.
Jimmy falls asleep, alive, and his family watches over him.
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undead-supernova · 4 months
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HIGH TOLERANCE
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Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3
Masterlist
warnings: gay disasters, Steve (derogatory), a bit of angst but that's a given for pining best friend!eddie so enter at your own risk, weed consumption (but what's new in a series about weed consumption)
pairings: modern!bestfriend!Eddie x fem!reader (both bisexual bitches)
plot: let's go sing some karaoke and feel like we're dying, shall we?
wc: 6k
p.s. I listened to "Watch" by Maisie Peters the entire time I wrote this and I just cannot for the life of me let The Good Witch go. Anyone else in a chokehold from that album? Anyways, here you go!
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Part 2: "Live Resin"
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“For you, my good sir!” you exclaimed, feigning a British accent as you got down on one knee and presented Eddie with a joint like it was a sword. And it was an immediate scrape to your knee, your black crop top and miniskirt riding up. You tried to save yourself by planting your maroon Converse on the ground, but it was met with instant failure. Eddie chuckled, grabbing your arm to try and stabilize you before he continued the bit. 
(Leave it to Eddie Munson to commit to a bit.)
“For me?” he asked, feigning a gasp as he threw his hand over his chest, his rings clinking together. “You shouldn’t have.”
You exaggerated a wink as you stood back up. 
“Sure, I did.”
“Wha’da we got, Weirdo?”
You repeated what the guy at Jailbait Hemp told you. It was a THC-A pre-roll that was covered in live resin (which technically has a higher concentration level than just the THC-A alone). It burned differently than other joints, a glaze lining the paper to burn like honey. 
Let it in slow and watch it go.
“She sure is a pretty one,” Eddie said, lightly running the pad of his pointer finger along the resin. It didn’t flake off or leave any residue on his finger. Incredible.
You smirked. “I know, right?”
“Kinda like you.”
You swallowed immediately, nearly choking as the spit went down wherever the wrong pipe was located.
Panic, panic, panic. 
“Oh, whatever,” you said, waving him away. You distracted yourself with wiping the gravel off of the scrape on your knee that showed promise of blood but stayed put. The most embarrassing thing you could think of was having to ask someone for a Band-aid because you were too busy doing a bit with a joint to remember that you weren’t wearing pants. Eddie would love that a little too much and you weren’t about to give him the satisfaction.
“You’re right,” Eddie said with a nod, causing you to look back up. “Doesn’t come close to you, m’lady.” Without another word or time for you to even remotely process, he held out his hand and made obnoxious grabbing gestures. “Alright. Gimme, gimme. Wanna light her up.”
With shaky fingers, you handed it over. Eddie took his black Bic lighter and ran the flame back and forth against the twisted end of the paper. It took him two or three tries to keep it lit, but he finally got it, moving it around in circles to let it burn as evenly as it could. The air instantly thickened with the smell. But to be fair, you smelled weed wherever you went in Atlanta. Even on the highway somehow.
You could hear the music from Go Ask Mary from two blocks away, the bass of Madonna’s “Vogue” booming through the walls. It was almost time for karaoke to start and, to be honest, you were excited. Eddie had picked up some extra shifts at the car dealership and your shitty retail jobs at the Lenox Square mall had been draining. Especially when you were surrounded by stores like Chanel and Tiffany & Co. It was always your dream to work at a Sephora where all the pretentious rich people complained about needing a new Balenciaga bag before arguing with you when their sheer Tom Ford lipstick was out of stock. 
This was the first time you’d seen Eddie in a week, despite him practically begging to come over at 2am to watch the first Lord of the Rings movie on a Monday. The extended edition to be exact, all three hours of Elijah Wood and Sean Astin being the most iconic couple of the fantasy realm. It was embarrassing to admit, but you nearly considered calling out just so you could.
Tonight, you couldn’t wait to let off some steam, especially with the person who made every day worth it. Eddie looked as he usually did with all his chains and rings and pretty face and attitude. It was disgustingly unfair that he could wear variations of the same outfit every time you saw him and somehow looked better and better every time.
“There you guys are,” Steve sighed as he and Robin walked over from the bar. 
Steve was still in his suit, just without his tie and blazer. A few buttons of his white button down were popped with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Robin wore an oversized cotton button down, white with navy stripes and a loose navy tie. She looked like she was going to the beach for the day, even going so far as to wear jean shorts and checkerboard Vans.
“We should’ve known you were smoking,” Robin said, nose wrinkling before she pulled out her flask from her back pocket and took a few sips. “Did you know that one joint is, like, the equivalent of five cigarettes? I heard it on a podcast the other day and, believe me, that sounds bad. Like, really bad.”
“What else is new?” you joked, taking the joint from Eddie and filling your lungs with a few hearty drags. “At least we’re not vaping. That’s, what, the equivalent of a hundred cigarettes?”
Robin shook her head. “Actually, I read that a thousand-puff vape is the equivalent of five to six packs.” She paused, moving her fingers through the air as she solved the problem in her head. “So…about one-twenty?”
Eddie hummed, nodding. “Aren’t you glad I stopped smoking cigs six months ago?”
“Well, yes.”
“So smoking weed should be the least of your worries, Buckley.”
“You have a point. But honestly—"  
“Rob!” Steve interrupted. “Rob, listen. I have exciting news.”
“What is it?” you asked.
“I’m getting the first round,” he said proudly. “I got a bonus at work.”
“Thanks, Steve,” you said, genuinely touched by the offer. “That’s awesome, though. You’re literally moving up in the world.”
“Bringing in the big bucks, this one,” Eddie teased with a big smile as he took the joint from you. “Always a generous giver.”
Steve glared at Robin. “She thinks I should quit.”
“No, I do not!” Robin argued. “I just think you’re in a weird environment with weird men—" 
The high was already making its way through you, causing you to not-so-subtly stare at Eddie again. His eyes were trained on yours as Steve and Robin rattled on, entering some bickering fest that you were positive he wasn’t listening to. And the way he was looking at you… Well, it didn’t seem that platonic, did it? 
His eyes were doing that thing again, that slow gaze down your body before reaching back up to your eyes. Your fingers inched just a little bit closer to his and you almost swore you could hear his rings again as they fluttered towards yours. 
Robin cleared her throat, causing you to look back at her. She was eyeing you specifically, not even bothering to look at Eddie. 
Could she see it? What did she know? Was there anything to know?
“Well, we’ll be inside,” she said, grabbing Steve’s arm. “Have fun with the extra cancer!”
Eddie chuckled. “Thanks, Buckley.”
You watched them walk away, right back in their little fight. It was nice to be around them again. Truly, it was. You didn’t have too many friends outside of Eddie, always working during the week and never truly finding time to go out unless Eddie dragged you along. You could engage in small talk with strangers at Go Ask Mary on the weekends, but it was different when you got home and found your phone void of anyone to tell those stories to. Zero messages, not even from your parents or your sister. No Instagram DMs of cute animals or Tumblr messages of photography and memes. Just a phone that looked more like a coffin full of wires than access to the whole world.
Except for Eddie.
As he turned back to you, he lifted the joint and let it hover just above your lips. 
“Want some more?” he asked.
You looked up at him, nearly startled by how close he was to you. God, what was it about him? Maybe it was the dark color of his eyes, still illuminated in the warm sunset, nearly glazed over with a golden sheen. Maybe it was the way his hair was doing that thing after a fresh wash where the ends were slightly curlier than the rest. Or maybe it was the way his tips of his sneakers were meeting yours and the smell of tobacco and car air freshener was wafting off of him.
“Come on, you can’t deny you want it.”
“Um,” you stumbled. “Yeah. Yeah, I want it.”
“Yeah?”
Nodding, you felt his fingers grazing your mouth as he placed it in between your lips. You took a long, slow drag while your eyes never left his. You wanted to look away. Really, you did. If anything, the sparks settling in your stomach were starting to pop and sizzle unlike ever before. 
You just couldn’t help yourself.
And if anything, he didn’t seem like he could either.
Tonight was going to be interesting.
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The bar wasn’t very crowded, but that’s why you liked to go as a group during the week. Even if there weren’t many people looking to do karaoke on a Tuesday, it didn’t matter. There were four of you ready to tear up the fucking stage.
You went in rotation for solo performances, Robin singing “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac followed by you singing “Love Is a Stranger" by Eurythmics (despite it technically not being from the Eighties) followed by Eddie doing “The Stroke” by Billy Squire and finishing with Steve’s off-key rendition “Africa” by Toto.
When Steve returned from his noteworthy performance, the three of you congratulated him. He did a little bow before wiping the sweat off his forehead. 
Eddie patted the table and said, “Alright, I’ll go get the next round.” As he was about to leave, he looked at you. “Still want a vodka Redbull?”
“Of course,” you said with a smile. 
He gave you a quick wink. “Just checking, Weirdo.”
“Thanks.”
You turned back to Steve and Robin, watching Steve dab his face with a napkin. He was mostly definitely inching towards being drunk, always starting to turn red and sweaty whenever he was getting close. That, and he started to run his mouth.
“God, he’s dreamy,” Steve said, leaning his head in one hand. You followed his line of sight, all three of you watching Eddie walk to the bar. “It’s almost annoying how hot he is.”
Robin snorted. “Yeah, okay. Keep dreaming.”
Maybe it shouldn’t have stung the way it did. Anyone was allowed to find him hot. It didn’t mean anything. Just a bit of flattery, that’s all. But then it was like you couldn’t stop yourself and suddenly you were unable to keep yourself from asking the one thing you never ever should have.
“Do you have a crush on Eddie?”
You watched Steve laugh pitifully. “I mean, maybe?”
“Maybe? What does ‘maybe’ mean, Steve?” Robin asked.
“I mean, he’s hot, right? But I don’t know if he’d even go for me.” As he talked, he popped open another button of his shirt, showing off a bit of his wife beater and chest hair. “Like, okay, he’s just so pretty and he fixes cars and plays in a band? It’s cool as hell. But I don’t think we even have that much in common, so I don’t know. He likes metal, I like pop. He likes D&D and I like, uh, I don’t know? Poker? Anyways, I don’t even know what kind of guys he’s into. Do you know, Rob?”
Robin shrugged, meeting your eyes before saying, “I don’t know, Steve. Ever thought about asking him what his type is?”
And you shouldn’t have asked. Really, you shouldn’t. Because now you were here, sitting at a table while Steve moaned and groaned about his chances with Eddie, like it was some statistics problem. And then someone was doing an awful cover of “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper, the shrill sound mixing with Steve’s whining. And you? You were sulking. 
You looked over and watched Eddie wait for your drinks at the bar, wondering if Steve had any chance and whether you were more likely to get the guy in the end. Surely there was a silver lining in there somewhere. You enjoyed metal music and even convinced Eddie to listen to other genres. You enjoyed listening to Eddie talk about Dungeons and Dragons and showed him board games you liked, like Catan. Relationships weren’t built off of just similarities and differences. Steve was wrong.
Right?
As if Eddie heard your thoughts, he caught your stare, his lips pulling back into a large grin as he waved and moved his hips a little bit along to the grating karaoke. You couldn’t help but laugh at how awkward he looked, in turn doing the worst arm wave in history. He immediately started laughing.
Eddie was looking at you, wasn’t he? Steve wasn’t even bothering to look at the object of his desire. He merely talked about the guy, putting his head in his hands and panicking as if Eddie wasn’t in the same room. But you were looking at Eddie and now you were in a makeshift dance battle, embarrassing yourself by doing an awful robot while he did that shopping cart move.
Could Steve have this kind of relationship with Eddie?
And what were the odds of you winning?
What were the odds of you losing?
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After a good bit of chatter, Steve and Robin headed towards the other end of the bar to set up a game of darts. Eddie went along, but you decided to stay behind. He found it odd, asking if you were sure and you’d nodded, telling him that you wanted a moment to yourself. 
But Eddie didn’t believe you. Not one bit. You’d started acting weird merely seconds after he came back with drinks. It was strange. One moment you were dancing with him across the room and the next your shoulders were slumped, falling out of any and all conversation. Even when he nudged you and tried to be playful, you seemed to pretend you didn’t notice. Instead, you focused on your straw and nodding along as if you were paying attention. 
He knew you hadn’t. He knew there was something wrong and, of course, he wanted to respect your privacy but there had to be something else there. Had Robin let anything slip? Did Steve act like an asshole? Were you upset with him? 
Robin and Steve were in the heat of a tie when Eddie finally decided to walk back over to you. He didn’t like seeing you so sad, so vulnerable. And with the addition of the high, he knew how scary that could feel. If something didn’t feel right, it could get extremely uncomfortable. And you couldn’t just be alone in that hole.
“Hey,” he said as he approached you. “Are you feeling okay?”
You put on one of the fakest smiles he’d ever seen before replying, “Yeah, I guess I’m just tired from work.”
Lie.
“Is the high getting you down?”
You shrugged. “A bit, yeah.”
“Um,” he said, gulping as he held out his palm. “Do you need to hold my hand?”
You looked down at his hand before looking back up. 
“No, I think I’ll be okay. Thank you, though.”
“Yeah, sure. Sure,” he replied, placing his hand on top of the other. 
He squeezed it to elicit something resembling comfort for the rejection he felt. It was like your hand was some kind of phantom feeling that made his chest ache with want. And that want was slowly but surely starting to burn.
“Well, uh.” He gulped. “I’m gonna get myself another beer. Want anything?”
You shook your head. “No, I’m okay.”
Eddie nodded before turning away.
“Hey, Eddie?”
He didn’t think he’d ever spun back around that quickly before.
“Yeah?”
You smiled weakly. “If you need me to drive your van back tonight, let me know. I don’t mind if you want to get a little drunk with Steve and Robin.”
And just like that, he died a little inside. Again.
“Will do, Weirdo.”
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Steve was back on his bullshit.
“Oh my god, do you guys think I should try to sing with him? Get the sparks flying, you know?” He moved his head from side to side. “‘Do a little dance? Make a little love’?”
Robin smacked Steve’s arm. “You did not just do that.”
You let out a tiny sigh, looking away from his hopeful expression. Steve genuinely thought he’d cracked the code to Eddie’s heart. And you couldn’t blame him. Who wouldn’t want someone like Eddie? 
But really, you wanted to put your head on the table and bang it over and over.
Over. And. Over.
Eddie had gone to get a third beer and Steve had wasted no time before bringing this shit back up. You were seriously starting to dislike him for the first time in three years. Three. Years. He was obnoxious when he was drunk, sure, but it was never like this.
Or maybe you just hadn’t paid attention until tonight.
You shook your head, desperately trying to get the feelings out of your body. The blunt was starting to get the best of you, fogging your brain while your limbs felt like they were vibrating. This was killing your high. No, it was more than that. It was magnifying all the feelings you once swore to be dormant. 
You looked over to find Robin staring at you, her eyebrow quirked up. Noticeably, you might add. You and Robin weren’t that close—you were one of Eddie’s best friends to the rest of them. You had fun whenever the group would hang out, whether that be at Eddie’s shows or unwinding at Go Ask Mary, but you never truly hung out alone. 
Steve, Robin, and Eddie had moved to Atlanta three years ago, after they wanted out of their small town in Indiana. Steve’s dad had gotten him a job at a big boy law firm in the heart of Downtown. It wasn’t the best way to get into the business, but it was the best way to get all of them out. To start over somewhere bigger, somewhere with more opportunities. Steve convinced them to save up for the summer before driving eight hours to their shitty new apartment. He swung Robin a waitressing gig at a nice restaurant he had a business lunch at—charmed the owner and everything. Eddie had worked at a local gay bar in Decatur and played there sometimes on metal or punk themed nights.
And here Robin was now, staring at you like she was trying to figure out how you were feeling, as if you’d ever be phased by Steve’s confession. Confessions. And she was making eye contact, all bold and unashamed. Like she was some freakishly keen hawk, two steps away from letting out a ca-caw. And if Steve paid just a fraction, just a millimeter of attention, he’d notice. 
It was all quite unnerving.
“Don’t you think sparks would already be flying after years of knowing each other?” Robin asked, eyes flickering from Steve’s to yours and then back again. “I mean, I think you would know by now. If there was something between you.” She gestured over to you. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
What was her deal?
“Pfffft.” 
A bit of Steve’s spit flew out and hit your cheek. You would’ve laughed three hours ago. Now? Now, you were seriously considering bashing his head against the table.
(It was a big night for head bashing.)
“Last call for karaoke!” one of the bartenders announced.
“Wish me luck!” Steve said to you and Robin before raising his hand. “I’ll do it!” he exclaimed loudly, pointing to Eddie who had just finished closing out his tab. “I’ll do it with that handsome man over there!”
Eddie looked surprised but shrugged, a pleasant smile reaching his lips. “Yeah, sure, Harrington. Show me what you got.”
As they moved towards the stage, you swallowed the words resting on your tongue.
I wanted to sing with Eddie tonight.
“I hope he doesn’t embarrass himself.”
You couldn’t look at Robin. You just couldn’t.
“What song did he pick?” you asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
“‘Under Pressure’.”
Oh, fuck. You’d sung that in the car with Eddie plenty of times, always with a silent acknowledgement that whatever conversation you were having would cease and the volume was to be turned all the way up. You went for Freddie Mercury's part while Eddie took the lower octaves in David Bowie’s verses. Eddie sounded amazing when he sang it, confident with his range and feeding emotion into the song. And you melted. You just melted.
And when the song started and Eddie’s eyes drifted away from Steve and landed on you, well, you couldn’t help but feel seen. He thought about those times, too, didn't he? It was something you both held special. Right?
But Steve took Eddie’s hand and started trying to dance with him. Eddie laughed, trying to follow his complicated rhythm. Steve was stumbling and nearly fell of the stage, but Eddie caught him, stabilizing him. Just like he’d done with you in the parking lot.
Things were going downhill for you. And they were going down fast.
Eddie cleared his throat dramatically before starting the first verse. “Pressure, pushing down on me, pressing down on you. No man ask for.”
You let out a sigh at the sound of Eddie’s voice, all gravely and husky and soft all the same. It felt even better tonight with whatever was in this joint. You could feel it inside, like it was somehow spreading through you. There was a part of you that was sure you’d never get over it for as long as you lived.
Steve pulled Eddie closer, grabbing at his waist and slowly moving it down.
Oh my fucking god. Eddie knows what he’s doing, right? you asked yourself. Can he tell? Does he like this?
Eddie cleared his throat before belting, “It’s the terror of knowing what this world is about. Watching some good friends screaming—”
“Let me out!” Steve shouted.
They stumbled through a laugh at the ridiculousness, and you began to feel like you were slowly dying. Again.
“I’m…going to go to the bathroom,” Robin announced before scurrying off.
And you tried to keep your eyes off of them. Really, you did. You made yourself look around the room, scanning the face of a drag queen who was currently walking around and engaging in animated conversations with the few other people here. Her eyes were coated in pink glitter and tall eyelashes; nude lips perfectly lined and wrapped around the straw of a cocktail. She was absolutely gorgeous, as most Atlanta queens were. Plus, how could you ever look away from a drag queen? They were angels, truly. Archangels.
But it was Eddie’s singing that brought your attention back, as effortless as Bowie himself. Like there was nothing to it. Like he was always on the track to begin with.
You found yourself thinking about the night you met Eddie, right here in Go Ask Mary. It was the five-month anniversary of their official move to Atlanta, the three of them wanting to go out and celebrate not completely fucking up. They’d gotten out and they were doing pretty okay for themselves by the look of it.
And you? Well, you were a native to the south. Grew up in Tennessee, moved here when you saw the opportunity for college somewhere that wasn’t Tennessee. Found your way through college and realizing you were bisexual and, well, found Go Ask Mary. At the time, you came here with friends, but there was a period time after losing some of those friends where you preferred coming by yourself. It was an accepting atmosphere, one where everyone seemed friendly. You could have a six-minute conversation with a queer stranger and never speak again. But it would be fond and unforgettable. It would be transcendent. 
You’d gone up and done a dramatic cover of “I Miss You” by Blink 182, mimicking the singer’s voice rather than being serious about it. A few people laughed—and Eddie was one of them. He’d even let out a few whoo!s and yeah!s. When you’d gotten off the stage, he approached you immediately and asked you if you could be best friends. You laughed at that, thinking then that neither of you were serious. 
But then you’d spent the whole night talking and watching Robin and Steve perform.
And then they tapped out and decided to head home.
However, Eddie wanted to stay. 
And you told him you could call him an Uber. 
And then you stayed until closing, just talking. Nonstop. Like you were seeing an old friend for the first time in decades.
(Is there a joke in there somewhere about three disaster bisexuals and one tragic lesbian walking into a bar?)
“Is that your man?”
You looked behind you, noticing the queen from earlier standing with her hand on her hip as she tapped her acrylic nails along to the beat.
“Which one?” you asked.
“The crazy haired one over there with the wallet chain.”
You could feel your chest start to ache. “No, no. We’re best friends, but we’re not dating.” She let out a hum. You looked at her again, feeling hot all of a sudden. “Um, why? Why do you ask?”
A smirk formed on her lips as she touched your shoulder, leaning down to speak softly into your ear. “Baby, that man’s only looking at you.”
“He is?”
“Mhm.”
“Are you sure?”
The queen looked at you again, her eyebrow raising. “Oh, so you’re jealous of the other one?” She laughed as you gave a defeated shrug. “You ain’t been lookin’ hard, have you?”
“I’m not sure—"
“Honey,” she started, tapping your jaw. You looked back at her. “I know that look. But you ain’t gotta look hard to see what he feels for you.”
“Really?”
She patted the top of your head and stood up straight. “Girl, look harder. Oh, and don’t forget to invite me to the wedding.”
And then she was waving you a goodbye and walking away.
You looked back to the stage to watch Eddie. You didn’t know how to believe her. Couldn’t. He was right there, leaning in and sharing a microphone with Steve, their faces practically touching. Lopsided grins coming from the two as Eddie hit a high note perfectly and Steve butchered the harmony. Eddie’s voice was dark and angelic. Steve’s eyes were red and perhaps they were sparkling in the purple and blue neon lights. They were having fun. 
They’d be a cute couple, a voice in your head said bitterly. And you can sit and watch and be okay with it. Swallow all your emotions like you always do. Let yourself fade into background noise as you watch someone take the spot you want the most. It’s normal at this point, isn’t it? You’re going to be that pathetic and weak, aren’t you?
You looked down at your drink, riddled with those incessant voices in your head telling you that you weren’t good enough. Because you weren’t as forward as Steve, or as brave as Eddie. You couldn’t just say the words or say anything at all. Eddie said everything he thought and made it clear how he felt. It was so simple for him. 
Besides…where would the friendship go if Eddie rejected you? Would it remain firm, the foundation solidified enough to keep you where you were before? Or would it start moving away, returning less and less frequently before the inevitable crash? 
And how could you ever fathom surviving the implosion?
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Eddie began to belt the final chorus, leaving Steve in the dust while secretly trying to get your attention. Maybe he was trying to impress you with his strengthened vocals and (pathetically) wanted you to notice.
But you continued to look down at your drink, scowling and swirling your straw around. He wanted to know what the hell was going on, why you were acting so strange tonight. It’d started out so well when he picked you up, letting the music be the only thing moving you forward. Even in the parking lot, with the jokes and a longing look that felt like it lasted for hours. And now you were…well. Whatever you were. 
And the song ended, alongside the minimal applause and stage lights being turned off. 
Steve patted Eddie’s shoulder as they got off. Eddie nodded at him before turning towards your table. 
But Steve pulled at his forearm. 
“Munson, wait.”
Eddie looked back. “Yeah, dude. What’s up?”
Steve smiled and Eddie could tell that he was utterly drunk. It was one of Steve’s goofy smiles, always seeming cartoonish with the way his lips curved into a wave. Eddie always thought it was kinda weird how he did that. Even a little creepy.
“Listen, I’m just gonna come out and ask you a question.”
“Okay…” Eddie trailed, now facing Steve completely. 
“Would you ever want to go on a date?”
Eddie’s eyes widened, scanning Steve’s face to try and see if any of this was a joke. 
But there was no punchline. He was serious.
“Like, together?” he asked slowly.
Steve laughed, having to lean on a nearby table to stable himself. “Yeah! I don’t know, I just kinda thought we had some chemistry or something. I’m drunk so I can’t articulate it very well, but I’ve wanted to ask for a while.”
Eddie raised a hand to scratch along his stubble and thought about it. Had he really not noticed that Steve was into him? He thought he’d made it clear to Robin his affections for you. He’d just assumed she would tell Steve but, clearly, she hadn’t. 
It was all Eddie ever talked about when him and Robin were alone, holed up in Eddie’s bedroom with a couple of beers and When Harry Met Sally playing on his TV. She told him over and over how he should just say something to you or even drop hints here and there. And to be fair, he thought he had. Even tonight with the joint in your mouth and the comment about it not being as pretty as you. And you’d just waved it off. Acted like it was nothing. Moved on so quickly and so suddenly.
But. 
Well. 
Was there such harm in saying yes to Steve? You certainly hadn’t said anything and maybe it would be good for him to explore something with someone who he knew for sure wanted him. It could be simple with him. Steve was fun to be around. He could be happy with him if it went anywhere. Because it could go somewhere…
Right?
He stared at Steve for some time before he responded.
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You tried to leave with Robin and Steve, but Eddie pulled you towards his van instead. That meant two blocks of walking together and he didn’t waste any time before he started talking.
“Where are you going, Weirdo?” he asked, throwing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into a side-hug. “You know you live closer to me.”
He was right. After Eddie had snagged his current job as a mechanic at a nice dealership, he’d gotten his own place so that he could have a space for himself. He really liked his alone time as much as he liked being around you or any of his other friends. One of the main reasons was because he needed complete silence when planning his campaigns and, well, Robin and Steve weren’t necessarily quiet people.
You chuckled, but it sounded forced. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I’m crossed or something,” you replied. “You’ve always had a higher tolerance than me.”
Eddie gave you a concerned look. “You okay?”
You nodded and tried to keep walking. 
But he didn’t.
“You’re not holding my hand right now.”
His voice was soft, hardly above a whisper.
“Oh, I guess I just wasn’t thinking about it tonight.”
Or you’re not actually cross-faded, Eddie thought to himself. But he didn’t say anything, just bumped your shoulder with his and tried to bring the energy back. You hadn’t smiled since you’d all left and there was no way you’d leave tonight without one. So, he turned around and started walking backwards, shimmying his shoulders. He cracked the code, watching as you began to snort. Thank God.
“So, did you like my killer vocals?” he asked, his playful tone raising the energy back to its rightful place. 
Until your smile faltered.
“Ohhhhhh, yeah,” you said, hardly sounding sarcastic or playful. And it certainly didn’t meet your eyes. “You and Steve looked like you were having fun.”
Eddie hesitated, wanting to tell you about Steve’s…proposition. Should he casually drop it into the conversation? Would tonight be the night that he admitted how he felt? Or would he continue to rely on you doing it?
“He asked me out,” Eddie said before he could think further, heart racing.
“What?”
“Yeah, right after we got offstage. Crazy, right?” 
“What did you say?” you asked, stopping in your tracks. You were only across the street from his van now. Only twenty steps. 
But you’d stopped. 
So, Eddie did too.
“I told him I’d think about it,” he replied.
“And have you? Thought about it?”
He tried to read your expression, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
So, he pushed. 
“I don’t know. Hadn’t thought of it before he said anything. I mean, it’s kinda out of nowhere…”
“Do you like him?” you whispered. 
Eddie thought about lying, to try and elicit some form of jealousy from you so he could start the conversation. Gamble and see what happens. But he couldn’t lie to you like that. It wouldn’t be right. It’d just be shitty. 
“Not really. Like, Steve’s pretty and all and he’s a really good friend or whatever. But I just haven’t really thought much about it and then suddenly there he was, poof, asking me out. And, I don’t know, I just thought it was a bit weird.”
You nodded along, looking away. “Yeah, that’s weird.”
Eddie couldn’t help himself. “Do you think I should say yes?”
“You’re asking me?” you asked, your eyebrows pinching together. 
You looked…upset. Why did you look so upset at the question?
“Absolutely,” he said, nodding.
“Why do you want my opinion? I mean, you’ve known him longer.”
Eddie shrugged. “Well, I don’t know. I value your opinion or whatever.”
You scoffed. “I don’t think I should be the determining factor on who you should date.”
You have no fucking clue.
“And if I wanted you to be?” 
The words left his lips before he could save himself and, God, his heart was banging on his flesh, like it was trying to escape. Like it wasn’t able to handle it any more in his wired brain.
You hesitated again. 
“Well, I don’t know.” Before Eddie could ask again, you sighed. “Do what you want, Eddie. Just…be careful.”
He shut his mouth again and nodded. 
“Yeah, alright. Sure.”
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Eddie spent that night analyzing your hesitation. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe you were thinking about how stupid he was or, even worse, maybe you were just too scared to say anything. Like him. 
Your lips had quivered slightly. You were holding back those words again, the ones that felt like they’d already been shared and were waved off by the time you spoke again. And it drove him absolutely crazy.
And instead of asking you, he texted Steve.
About that date… When and where?
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Taglist: @mrsjellymunson
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megafaunatic · 1 year
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fer @vinelark tagged me so here are my
5 no skip albums
HARD MODE: NO MOUNTAIN GOATS (JUST ABOUT EVERY MOUNTAIN GOATS ALBUM IS A NO SKIP ALBUM)
💿 you will not die (deluxe version) (2018) by nakhane. nakhane has such a clear, beautiful voice, and their instrumentation is by turns sparse and lush, bright and unsettling. listen to "by the gullet" with good headphones for a really weird and cool binaural intro with the syncopated marimba (?). also i love really deep sounds so when they hit me with the cello AND the fat bass kick drum AND the natural depth of their voice, i am IN IT!!! also i'm a lyrics guy first and foremost and their lyrics are so interesting and beautiful
💿 transangelic exodus (2018) by ezra furman. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? incredibly romantic. trans and gay as hell. fucking full of rage. explicitly jewish trans gay angel (i love those). i love a concept album! her scratchy punk vocals combined with fuzzy electric guitars and intense drums kill every time. every time i listen to this album i hear something new
💿 three futures (2017) by torres. ugh torres's voice. UGH THE MUSIC VIDEO FOR THREE FUTURES BY TORRES!!! what can i say i love a melodic low voice over lofi droning. and synths. god i love synths. this whole album is like a thick gauge compression spring: the instrumentation on many songs works on a rapid beat while the vocals are drawn out and almost strained. and then when they synchronize (like in much of "helen in the woods") the tension is released and you feel it in your gut!
💿 ripely pine (2013) by lady lamb. the violin key changes in the crest of "you are the apple" changed my life. next question! ok but actually half of these songs are 5+ minutes long and every one earns it. it's like every song is a little opera. the transition from fairly standard acoustic love song to [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] in "crane your neck" is SOOOOOO!!! holy fuck!!! it's so hot when women yell
💿 pony (2019) by orville peck. ok well first of all more musicians should make it so clear that their persona as a musician is a character they're playing and not a 1:1 reflection of who they are in real life. second of all have i mentioned that i love low voices singing beautifully? men are so scared to sing beautifully. it's a wasteland out there. it's like orville peck and fucking. michael bublé holding down the fort. anyway every song on this album is so fucking fun and boppy, i love a steel guitar. really good album for walking to work to (beat of most songs is comparable to walking speed) and singing really loud. thank you orville peck for saving country!
thank you for tuning into lore's music hour! everyone go listen to all 5 albums! you're welcome!
i tag @houtaroo @whatisthiswitchcraft @uhuraisgay @rose-indigo-and-tom AND @sleepnoises
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taintedcigs · 6 months
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1989 tv review, vault track rankings, my ratings and overall thoughts:
Welcome to New York — okay i honestly can’t believe I hold myself off and started w this. always thought this was a great opener and HONESTLY sounds really close w the og. I LOVE the production, not my fav song on the album though lol, 8/10
Blank Space — THIS SOUNDS SO CRISP OH MY GOD. there's something different from the og BUT I LOVE IT. 9/10
Style — THIS ALSO SOUNDS SO CRISP TOO. god i love the maturity in her voice SO GODDAMN MUCH. always will be one of my favs on this album. YOU GOT THAT!! JAMES DEAN!! DAYDREAM!! LOOK IN YOUR EYE!! just perfect. 9/10
Out of the Woods — the intro is a bit disappointing but this is one of my fav songs on this album SO I WILL LET IT SLIDE!! "OH I REMEMBER" is scratched into my brain FOREVER. 9/10
All You Had To Do Was Stay — THIS ONE SURPRISED ME SO BAD. I KNOW THIS SONG IS UNDERRATED BUT MY GOD THIS ONE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OG 10/10.
Shake it Off — serotonin. just makes me so goddamnn happy, THE UPDATED LAUGH IS SOO CUTE I LUV HER. so much better than og, like i swear im a shake it off fan despite not caring that much before LMAO.
I Wish You Would — OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I WILL SAY ABOUT JACK ANTONOFF AND THE PRODUCTION AT THE END (sorry). THIS IS SO GOOD. STOLEN VERSION DOES NOT EXIST, THATS HOW GOOD IT IS. 9.5/10
Bad Blood — the intro to this SONG is so different. KINDA Neutral about it but the whole song sounds very different !!1 8/10
Wildest Dreams — honestly i skipped bc ive been listening to this one for months anyway IM SORRY. but still 10/10 ofc !!!
How You Get The Girl — ALWAYS ONE OF M Y FAV SONGS. POP PERFECTION. just so FUCKING GOOD AND TV IS PERFECT. GOD TAYLOORRR ILY FOR THIS ONE. (also im thinking a steve fic for this? sorry i have to mesh my two hobbies together im insane) 10/10
This Love — also SKIPPED IM SORRYYY SUCH A GOOD SONG AND IVE BEEN LISTENING TO IT FOR MONTHS ALREADYY !!!
I Know Places — OH MY GOD SO PERFECT THIS IS MY TOP 3 ON 1989 AND... IM IN AWE... the GROWL (lmao) in and we run is PERFECTTT. god so good 10/10
Clean — 10/10. no words. im actually kind of sobbing. just makes me SO sad but relax. such a bittersweet song and i still think about the secret message for this song. "She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything." forever engraved in my BRAIN.
Wonderland — WONDERLAND TV AFTER CLEAN HITS SO WELL ALSO ONE OF MY FAAVOOORIES. "didn't you flash your GREEN eyes at me?" GEEEENNIUUUS! the OOOHHH hit so well. guys i just... so good. 10/10
You Are In Love — guys HOENSTLY SO GOOD. but im gonna keep this one short even tho this is also one of my favs img etting so impatient for vault tracks. 10/10 masterpiece im not kidding.
New Romantics — BABY WE'RE THE NEW ROMANTICS. COME ON, COME ALONG WITH MEEE. HEARTBREAK IS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM, WE SING IT PROUDLYYY. another pop perfection. the production sounds so good in these deluxe songs omfg. 10/10 GUYS IM SO IMPATIEN T BYE IM GONNA LISTEN TO SLUT! OH MYG DO
Slut! — "if they call me a slut you know it might be worth it for once" OH MY GDO??? I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE ABOUT SLUT-SHAMING BUT BLONDIE JUST WENT THERE AND MADE IT A LOVE SONG LMAOO I LOVE HER 9/10
Say Don't Go — im sobbing, ugly crying. and screaming. say "don't go", i would stay forever if you say, "don't go" OH MY GOD IM IN TEARS 10/10
Now That We Don't Talk — "I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost, now that we don't talk" OH MY GOD??? even tho its so SHORT IT HITS SO GOOD HELP ME." And the only way back to my dignity Was to turn into a shrouded mystery" JUST FDUCKING CRAZYYY?? 9/10
Suburband Legends — OKAY THIS IS SO MIDNIGHTS CODED OMFG? the production sounds so mUCH like mastermind and i love that song. "And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" she just gets me!!! 9/10
Is It Over Now? — "Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin' Off of very tall somethings" OH MY FUCKING GOD???? shes so bella swan coded. IM CRYING SHES SO RELATABLE AND I THINK THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE OH MY GOD. 10/10
IM STILL TRYING TO PROCESS IT WHAT THE FUCK BUT OKAY MY RANKING FOR THE VAULTS:
Is It Over Now? OH MY GOD. SHE WAS SO CRAZY FOR THIS. THE LYRICS?? I HAVE TO LISTEN 2-3 MORE TIMES TO FULLY PROCESS IT. WHAT THE FUCK SO FUCKING GOOD.
Say Don't Go. ALSO?? IM SOBBING?? SO FUCKING GOOOD??
Suburban Legends. I LOVE THIS ONE SM SO MIDNIGHTS CODED.
Slut! ALSO REALLY GOOD. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL. A LOVE SONG?? TAYLOR SWIFT YOU ARE A CRAZY GENIUS.
5. Now That We Don't Talk. I LIKED THIS ONE AS WELL. JUST NOT AS MUCH AS THE OTHERS.
OVERALL; I think this is BY FAR my favorite re-recording. I love all of them with my entire heart but THIS ONE IS JUST SO SPECIAL AND IMM SOOO HAPPY TAYLOR FINALLY OWNS IT. JUST A MASTERPIECE. my only ONLY problem is some of the production in some of the songs. i loved the changes. and I LOVE what she did. and I LOVE JACK ANTONOFF FOR GIVING US AMAZING SONGS. but the production sounds a bit off in these songs :(( i think max martin and shellback should've also produced more of them. BUT LIKE I SAID. it has a new vibe and I LOVE IT. (i still think we shouldn't JUST have him on other projects but that is another topic) anyway 10/10 IM STILL SHAKING.
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forbidding-souda · 1 year
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Alright since requests are open how bout Kyoko and Sonia with an S/O that's like Tsumugi? Hope you have a good day!
Kyoko Kirigiri and Sonia Nevermind with a S/O that's like Tsumugi Shirogane
hey guys what's up I posted isn't that insane??!??!?!
my friends boyfriend released his new album and it's punk music you guys should check it out it's called quiet reading time!
update on uni uhhh this math final is not the move LMFAO it's literally in a month and i'm just sitting here like damn.... lololol. anyway i also got switched dorms bc my dormmate was homophobic LOL! this dormmate oh my god he is perfect, I love him SO MUCH! but he's dropping out at the end of the semester so i'm gonna die tbh i'll miss him... I hope they don't room me with another nobody. me and my husband are doing good!! we had like a month long confuffle where we were mad at each other but it's chill now it's fine we are very very good. he stayed awake for me today so we could get starbucks together :> this means the world to me because he works all night so he always sleeps at 9am (srs... that exact time) and my class gets out at 9:45 and he STAYED and waited outside my class too... I love him so so much. knock on wood.
^ aaaaa and he's learning asl it's so cute i love him so much >.> he's actually sleeping rn and I left to grocery shop and go back to my dorm LOL.... let's see his mood when he wakes up. I left last night too BUT IT'S NOT HIM I JUST CAN'T SLEEP AND I FIND NO AMUSEMENT IN LAYING THERE WHILE HE SNORES IT'S SO ANNOYING.
-Mod Souda
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Kyoko Kirigiri
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✯ There's a form of love when it comes to having a girlfriend who doesn't show much of her emotions. Her eyes don't light up when she sees you in costume, but she shows her appreciation by keeping you in her gaze, her eyes never leaving you even when you are doing something as casual as scrolling through your phone.
✯ Sometimes she will be dressing for work as you dress in your costumes for a con (a beautiful juxtapose) and she will offer the smallest of critiques.
✯ "You need to brush the back of that wig."
✯ Sometimes she'll go to cons with you and just act as your bodyguard (in the humorous sense but also in the genuine sense, she keeps her eyes on you and people who invade your boundaries in days in which you do end up wearing some of your costumes in public like that).
✯ She is very protective over you, and in an alternative universe in which she speaks like teenagers these days, I imagine she will constantly say a sharp "damn that's crazy but who asked" to people.
✯ She's a good listener! When you go on rants she'll pay attention, and when you make niche references she'll ask you to explain.
✯ She still is entirely independent and doesn't like when you ask about her work. Her ability to change the subject and get you to talk about your interests is peak.
✯ Or when you say some "I'm just plain", she'll always hit you with the "Obviously you're not", which gets you a little ruffled.
✯ Whenever you make her blush, no matter how far into the relationship you are, it still makes you flustered. It's satisfying to know she likes you that much, that someone as stoic as her can find you desirable.
✯ ^ You like letting your perverted side out a bit because of that.
✯ She likes holidays that surround gifts because you are the easiest person to go shopping for.
✯ Her job is a topic that cannot be discussed at the dinner table, you can easily very freaked out at some of the things she sees on a day-to-day basis... so dinner table talk surrounds your interests >:).
✯ You can ask her to put on the cosplays you create so you can see them on another person but she will say no LOL (but you can ask).
✯ She looks at you with a small smile sometimes, which to you means a lot... it's a lot of expression for somebody who is good at hiding.
.
Sonia Nevermind
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✯ She has so much interest in anime and manga, and she gets so excited when she sees you making costumes for it.
✯ She wants to know all about your interests and why you like them. Listening to you talk is the best part of your day.
✯ She hates when you call yourself plain! She thinks you're the most interesting person on this planet. No literally, you are beyond unique and she admires your capabilities more than anything (his seems like a pretty obvious thing to say anyway).
✯ Her status in the hierarchy means that she has people to satisfy her every command, meaning that any material you need, you can get. She can even gift you really expensive fabric/stable wires/long-lasting glitter/anything you need, no matter what expense (and if you prefer one specific brand, even if it's 'cheap', she's not going to force you to use something else).
✯ She was raised with a lot of people always around, so when she gets the solo time with you, it makes her feel a lot less princess-like, and it makes her feel like a normal teenage girl. She likes to study in the corner while you sew (studying - it's so fun, especially when she gets to say things like "I'm studying!").
✯ Being around you while you work is her own personal love language.
✯ You wear a lot of layers, and so does she! If she gets cold, even though she might have a servant on hand for that, you can still lend her your jacket :> (else a jacket you make... perhaps you have even made one for this specific occasion too... and perhaps she will never know that it's a reference to your favorite media).
✯ She is more academic-brained than creative-brained so creative processes are very interesting to her, especially ones that require style and clothing.
✯ Sometimes she'll talk to her seamstresses about things clothing-wise and they are always like 'oooh you know about that!!! that's so cool!!!'.
✯ She can often mimic your perverted jokes, and return the energy back to you.
✯ ^ But whenever you get dressed she'll turn around, even if you don't mind.
✯ She will love to try on your cosplays. You can use her as a model any day!
✯ When it comes to costumes with bows and glitter, she loves looking at them! She'd always loved when her servants tied her bow for her. Bows are her favorite accessory, and she falls in love every time she sees you tie one.
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myloveforhergoeson · 5 months
Text
send me a number 1-100 for a little tasw blurb!!
for @icegirl2772 - song 7: funeral grey by waterparks :)
tw: mentions underage smoking + drinking
Big Time Rush's first album wrap party was supposed to be a blast... At least that's what Gustavo and Kelly had promised them before throwing one of the lamest get-togethers the boys had ever been to.
Though discouraging, it was nothing the boys couldn't handle. With a brilliant, yet hair-brained, scheme, they managed to convince their boss to end the party at Rocque Records for the other executives at the label earlier than he had planned. By the time the entire building was clear, the four managed to transform the studio floor into a club-type atmosphere that suited their needs far better.
Throwing a party in Los Angeles was never a challenge. All the boys had to do was invite every contact on their phone and tell them to bring a plus one, and in no time, the floor was packed to the brim with friends and strangers, dancing the night away.
Sure, Gustavo would probably kill them in the morning, but that was the last thing on James' mind as he grabbed a red cup from someone he thought might live on the same floor as him at the Palm Woods and downed it with a large gulp. A few more of those and he wouldn't be worrying about their boss at all.
As he pushed through a crowd of people who had turned the lounge into a second dance floor, he searched the sea of faces to try and find his bandmates. It was their party anyway, he should probably spend some of the time there with them, instead of trying to find a cute person to pull into the supply closet and fool around with.
It was a tough decision, maybe even tougher than finding three people somewhere on the floor of Rocque Records, and he took another drink from a girl who was definitely in his class at the Palm Woods school to help him think.
Whatever was in this cup was far better than the last, so he stopped in his tracks and savored his first few sips leading him to spot Kendall, Carlos, and Logan hugging the wall of the long hallway leading to the elevator.
Ugh, so lame... The boy thought, taking another sip as he pushed past even more people to get to his friends. Each of them took turns glancing at the elevator as they talked to each other, something too loud to hear over the blasting music, which told him they were still waiting for people to arrive. This is a party, no time for standing around!
Logan startled when James placed a hand on his shoulder, causing a few drops of the drink he was slowly nursing to jump out of his cup and onto the dark carpet. "Jesus, dude! Way to scare a guy..."
"Come dance with me!" James called, needing to raise his voice over the insane noise level of the party in order to be even slightly understood. "Show off those moves Mr. X taught you!"
Playfully, he raised his arms above his head and wiggled his hips around to the beat of the pop tune coming over the speakers, watching as Kendall rolled his eyes and Carlos looked over to the elevator one more time.
"Nah..." His blond friend chimed in as he took a slow sip from his plastic Solo. "Waiting on someone way prettier than you to dance with."
The long-haired boy let out an offended scoff and was about to rip right into the band's front man when the elevator let out a soft ding and the doors opened to a small group of girls.
Camille, Jo, and Stephanie were laughing at something, and a new girl James didn't recognize was standing in the middle of them, a smug look on her face as she listened to her friends' voices ring out around her.
"Um... Who's that?" He asked openly, figuring one of the boys might know, but Carlos just shook his head. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes off of Stephanie.
As the helmet-wearer waved them over, he replied, "I don't know... Steph mentioned she just moved to town. Her dad's in a band or something."
James knew it was rude to stare, but there was something about her he just couldn't put his finger on as she trailed behind the other three, effortlessly sliding into conversation with the band and their girlfriends as if she had known them her entire life.
Besides the fact she was exactly his type, the first thing he noticed was the slight twang in her voice as she spoke, like she had spent a lot of time in the Southern United States. It clashed with his friends' Midwest accents, which she must have thought were cute as she scrunched her nose when Logan overannunciated his ohs. The second thing was a bit harder for him to understand; This new girl had quite strange taste in clothing.
They were in the middle of a Los Angeles summer, with one of the hottest heat waves the country had ever seen right around the corner. The dark Doc Martins adding about four more inches to her height looked incredibly heavy, and the skinny black jeans covering her legs must have been so suffocating, especially in such a crowded space. Either she didn't care or she pretended not to notice, tossing a lock of her long hair over her shoulder to show off the grey sweater adorning the top half of her body. It was baggy, but not too baggy, effortlessly sliding off the side of her right shoulder.
Taking another sip of his drink, James pretended not to notice the way her eyes sparkled under the low lights he and the band had hastily hung up or think about all the things he could do to the small patch of exposed skin around her neck, collarbone, and shoulder.
Maybe I've had just a bit too much... He thought as he raised the cup to his lips before thinking again and lowering it.
"What about you, pretty boy?"
The drawl of her words nearly sent his knees buckling; Too absorbed in his own little world to have been a part of the conversation the rest of the group had been having.
James blinked a few times, looking down at the newcomer who had asked him a question he had no clue what the answer to might be. "Hm?"
She blinked right back, reaching out and taking the cup from his hand. "All your other friends asked me a question so I suppose it's your turn now."
It was impossible to tear his eyes away from her as she brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip, winking right at him.
In a poorly disguised panic, his gaze flipped between his bandmates who weren't even trying to conceal their laughter. They knew better than anyone what it looked like when he got lost in his own thoughts, but none of them helped him out as the new girl awaited his response.
The boy felt his head begin to spin, be it from the sudden attention from the new girl he was trying to bask in or the cheap drinks he had been downing all night. "Um... What's your favorite color?"
Without a second thought, New Girl pointed to her waist before tugging on the fabric of her sweater. It reminded him of one of the shades his mom had picked out for the packaging of one of her cosmetic products from a few years back.
Funeral Grey...
Head still spinning, James felt himself stop breathing as she took another sip from his cup. There was a faint trace of her lipstick on the white rim, so he focused on that with a stupid giggle he wasn't able to contain.
That meant he was nervous, but he wasn't able to stop the next words from pouring out of his mouth, "That's not a color... That's a shade."
He watched as her jaw dropped - truly shocked by his words or feigning surprise to rile him up. Either way, he didn't think too much of it. If she looked that cute with wide eyes and puffing cheeks, he'd continue to correct her all night.
"Don't disagree with me!"
And just like that, she walked away, getting lost in the crowd of people surrounding them, celebrating the release of Big Time Rush's first album.
The focus of the party was supposed to be on them, but now, James had shifted all his attention to her.
Her... What's her name?
***
James knew it was a mistake to keep his eyes on her all night.
With a clouded mind, he did his best to keep track of everyone she talked to, every place of the studio she explored, each song she knew all the words to... Until he watched as she slipped into one of the conference rooms on the studio floor without any of her girlfriends.
Hot girl... Empty room... No distractions...
He physically shook the thought out of his head. It would be weird to follow her inside, right?
Yes! His brain told him.
No! His heart screamed.
So, he waited a few moments to see if she'd come back out and when she didn't he hesitantly made his way to the door.
If this was a knocking situation, he didn't really know, but with a shaking hand, he turned the sliver door knob and stepped into the room.
Embarrassingly, it took him a second to find her in the large space. Instead of sitting in one of the plush chairs or snooping around the presentation podium, she was pressed up against the large glass windows overlooking the city.
He thought it was strange at first until he felt a small rush of warm night air coupled with the smokey smell of tobacco from the cigarette she held between two of her fingers.
Lazily, she took a small drag, and he turned his focus from her lips to the fiery colors burning at the end of the paper. Exhaling, she blew the smoke straight out the window before saying, "I was beginning to wonder how long it'd take you to find me."
Once again, he wasn't able to think about his words as he pushed out a strained, "That shit is gonna kill you."
That hadn't been what he wanted to say at all. New Girl had practically told him point-blank she wanted to be alone with him and instead of a typical suave response, all he could do was reprimand her for smoking.
She kind of smiled, it was hard to tell in the low light, but he swore he saw her raise her hand and curl her front finger, beckoning him over to where she was standing.
James knew he walked over there as fast as humanly possible, but for a moment, he felt as light as the air he was breathing, like he had practically floated over to her.
One more hit, but this time, she took her free hand and balled it in the soft fabric of the t-shirt he wore.
At the same time, his breath hitched as he let her pull him down into her, closing his eyes and slightly tilting his head as he leaned in...
Only for her to blow the puff of smoke she had been holding right into his face.
Her kind of smile turned into a full-on grin once his eyes shot open, slightly coughing from the inhalation he hadn't been expecting.
"Well, now you're gonna die too."
The boy felt his heart skip a beat. Now she's teasing me back... I am so fucked.
"Tell me, what's a girl gotta do to get another drink around here?"
"Put out her cigarette, for one." James bit right back, still smelling the earthy, rich smoke curling in his nostrils. "But, if she says please it might buy her some more time to finish it while I get something for her."
That made sense, I think. He was a bit too buzzed to tell.
In front of him, the girl tilted her head in thought, hand still balled in his shirt.
When she had finally made her decision, she let him go as she looked up at him, batting her eyes a few times. "Get me another drink, James... Please? I might have a surprise for you when you get back."
He thought about leaning in and kissing her right then and there. Instead, all he could do was nod before making his way to the door as if he would obey her every command.
Just as he reached for the handle, he looked back at her, loving the way she still smiled at him, even as she went in for another drag.
How does she know my name?
A few seconds later, he realized he was at a party celebrating the release of his boy band's album... Of course, she knew his name.
That's not cocky... Right?
"Oh, um," He called out absentmindedly, not sure how to ask her the question lingering on his mind. "What's your-"
She didn't let him finish before she said, "Roxanne."
"Roxanne." James tested, languishing in the few moments the sounds rolled off his tongue.
Roxanne nodded, flicking the stray ashes accumulating on the paper through the window.
"Just hold on tight, baby, I'll be right back."
He left the room far too quickly after his comment to watch the way her cheeks reddened as she pinched out her cigarette.
Thank God we threw this party tonight.
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modernmanblues · 4 months
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Happy New Year to you!! ✨ Here’s to another year of loving our favorite hot men from the 70s and 80s lol. Speaking of hot men, I have listened to some of 10cc’s music and so far the songs I really like The Film of My Love, Speed Kills, and Headline Hustler. Their sound mostly reminds me of The Rolling Stones and The Who but they still manage bring new stuff to the table I think. I actually think the singer sounds a lot like Ringo Starr’s singing voice but that may just be me. So I read their bio on Spotify, too. So that Graham guy is quite the songwriter and wrote for other bands like The Yardbirds and The Hollies? I thought that was cool. By the way, I find Graham pretty attractive, too. Looks like they had one or two songs that became hits in America but that’s about it. From my understanding, being successful in America was like the holy grail for uk bands at this time. It they achieved that goal, they were on a very good track. When The Kinks got banned in the US, that seemed to hurt them a lot. Sadly for 10cc they didn’t stay popular in the US for long. But still, seven years is not bad at all. I know of bands that had much shorter life spans. It looks like they had a good run regardless. By the way, I’m curious about how you discovered them! Also, I’ve actually reblogged from you before the Secret Santa game! It was a post with two black and white pictures of Ray Davies. He’s just so..😍 I couldn’t resist. Anyways, talk to you later!
hello, dear. and a happy new year to you!! ✨
everything alright with your new year so far? and hey, here’s to another year of us loving these sensational 60s/70s men. they just don’t make them like they used to, do they?
while i may ogle at other 70s guys here and there, i cannot deny just how insufferable i am about that Eric Stewart. he is just..*chefs kiss* bellissimo!! the cherry on top. the icing on the cake. an absolute adonis. he just does it for me. no one like him really. and given that his birthday is on January 20th, and he is my soulmate sign aquarius, the gemini in me can’t help but make such a big fuss him around this time of year. a beautiful man, that Eric. i love him with all my heart.
Eric does have a Ringo way about him, doesn’t he? he is after all from Manchester, just across from The Beatles’ neck of the woods Liverpool. i really do feel like guys from Manchester and Liverpool have a certain charm about them that’s just so captivating, i can’t quite put my finger on it. anyway, i think part of the reason why i’m so attached to Eric is the fact that i feel like he is all four Beatles combined. he possesses Paul’s charming and cuddly persona, John’s wit and sensitive attitude, George’s humbleness and Ringo’s happy go lucky mindset. he is the entire package, what more could a girl want?
oh and don’t get me started on Graham. he is so charming, even in real life. i’ve seen him a couple times in concert and my goodness, he really has kept up his good looks all these years. good on him. what a talented fella too! after all, he did get his start on music arranging songs for those early British Invasion bands you mentioned. i think it’s brilliant, all the work he’s done.
it is such a pity that 10cc never made it in America. i’m sorry to say it but i blame it on the recording company they were signed into, who basically ended up gouging the poor boys for their money and did little to promote them in America. it has been said that they could’ve been much bigger, and be talked and raved about in the same way as The Beatles or Pink Floyd. but the management was the culprit for their demise. so sad, really but either way they were and still are such a brilliant little band.
and i am so happy you like all those 10cc tracks you mentioned, as they are my personal favourites as well! i recommend giving their Sheet Music and Deceptive Bends album a listen when you can. they won’t disappoint!
and my oh my, that Ray Davies..he turns heads doesn’t he? another beautiful guy along with his brother, David. as of recent though, i’ve been crushing heavily on Dave. i love how cheeky he is. little bugger, that one.
well it was really nice hearing from you again, darling. all the best to you in the new year. feel free to stop in anytime, always love chatting xx
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horriddler · 1 year
Text
playlist for my beloved redacted babies [2]
kinda had a hard time making these but i have just made asher and geordi! + ivan and an imperium playlist
emo punk asher
really likes paramore and fall out boy in all honesty. also let’s say this playlist is all the (music) phases he has been in ever since he was a teen and now compiled with his current music taste!
him in the 2000’s was like hell for david because asher had this jukebox that he plays emo music with full volume sometimes.
david listens to ash ramble about the new blink 182 album coming out when they were young LOL and sometimes davey can’t admit that he likes some of the songs ash plays in the car.. (david’s playlist says so)
ash had loads of piercings (nipples, bottom lip, septum, etc) and those spike accessories but now took most of them off which made the holes close up :’)
loved to lie about his fake tat
geordi (kin???&:&-)
take it or leave it, this is just geordi’s (aka mine) spiralling anxiety and the playlist is just a brainrot of him
he gets one of my favourite genres and the funny haha songs that makes your brain shut off because he’s depressed and overstimulated like that
this adds to the fuel for cutie because fuck geordi’s a really tender guy and seeing how his mind works?? unfiltered? that’s just hell especially for geordi’s way of deep thinking. i see geordi as me really. but i see myself as cutie too.
mm literal brainrot
sadism’s hold ivan
hoho..hohohooh i’m fucking proud of this one
i felt a little happy and some morbid concern here but i think i did a pretty good fucking job idk
his disturbing vibe during vega’s manipulation is just fucking incredible to me. he is what my pinterest looks like.
caravan adds a nice touch to this playlist (if you watched whiplash)
ivan i love you, you my bbg but holy fuck you’re complex and i’m so attracted to it
but anyway
laplace’s angel (hurt people? hurt people!) by will wood could be his song mwa mwa + moon age for some disturbing touch!
imperium album
okay i literally have no idea why i made this but i just let it be because why not, you know??
idk what to say…LMFAOO
this playlist could be disturbing to some people so i have to put it out there to be careful!
if imperium had a trailer, i’d make abbey by mitski as the trailer soundtrack just like the ‘smile’ movie trailer, random thought but oh well
——————————
but that’s actually it, it’s nothing special! just wanted to add a little more characters that i’m familiar with and i plan to add more (vincent maybe? and all other characters) when i know more about the lore and stuff.
it’s totally fine if you don’t feel my song choices the way i do ykyk, it’s my music taste after all!! nothing wrong with that but if you do enjoy it, i appreciate you so much ^^
but yeah! you can follow my spotify to see more playlists in the future or the current ones i have aside from redacted. i hope you have a wonderful wonderful day
ps. i have a migraine so i might come back here to edit the grammar stuff so my apologies if i’m bad at the english here… xoxoxooxo
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winterrhayle · 10 months
Note
Ive been watching you and Bea go back and forth making each other rank Taylor albums and Im going to miss it SO MUCH Could you two rank the taylor swift tour videos please? I love looking at you guys' takes on things (even if yours are just complimenting every song and Bea is the one who knows how to actually criticise things 💀) love you guys <3 - an anonymous observer😉💗
TYSM :((((( SOBBING LY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @deprivedmusicaljunkie look we've been percieved ! anon ur slight diss at me for not being able to criticise things is KILLING ME HAHAHHAHAHA (ur right though)
okayy heres my tour ranking (note that there isnt an official tour video for red OR eras so this probs affects my ranking,,, more for red than eras bc i see eras content every single day online anyway)
speak now world tour - okay i may be biased because this is my favourite album,, but even if it wasnt this would be her best tour (in my opinion),, i feel like in her old concerts she was so theatrical, and parts of it kinda looked like a full broadway production,, also the iconic elements like the lyrics on the arm, also shout out to the live album recording of this bc i listen to it soooo much and its amazing and perfect and show stopping etc etc im literally gonna list a bunch of iconic moments right here: THE HAUNTED BELL, the fireworks during dear john, the koi fish guitar with the light up tree, the gold fringe dress (DROP EVERYTHING NOW) the ballgown, just the wholle thing is the best thing i have ever seen
eras tour - this tour actually is killing me with all of the nostalgia watching her sing through and acknowledge all of her old albums and past selves (except debut, rip😔). and i especially love all of the details from past concerts she has (like the fearless spins, the sparkly & koi guitars, the over head hand heart) and also the new visuals for existing tours (like the old taylors in glass cages for rep) AND the visuals for the albums that hadnt been toured before (lover, folklore, evermore, midnights) i just think that she really did her albums justice (again, apart from debut☠️) and its insane that the show is so long 3+ hours
reputation stadium tour - karyn the snake is the coolest thing ive ever seen. also the ready for it intro with the hooded bodysuit outfit is ICONIC,,, i love the choreo on this tour, like the part of i did something bad where taylor gets lifted up like a cheerleader (AHHHHHH) and i love the quiet long live / new years day moment on the piano,, its so nice
the red tour - like i said before, there isnt a tour movie for this one so i dont know as much about it, but i loveeee how fun it is, i love the ringleader outift and circus theme for the closing song, we are never ever getting back toghether (my favourite part of the show) and i love the unnecessary hairflips during all too well😭
the 1989 world tour - this tour feels like her biggest one (even though it isnt), its like the most pop artist thing ever, its less theatre-production like than any of her other tours and it feels less personal? that being said its obviously very iconic, im forever obsessed with the wildest dreams/enchanted mashup, and that one out of the woods bodysuit that she only wore once for some reason, + the FOREVER iconic rock version of wanegbt BUT THE WAY THE TOUR MOVIE IS EDITED IS SOOOO ANNOYING LIKE IT SWITCHES TO A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE EVERY 2 SECONDS😭 anyway i really do appreciate this tour bc taylor really did give it everything she had, and looking at the miss americana documentary, u can tell it was really hard to have put on that show with what she was going through
fearless tour - this is ranked last but i actually really like this one, its cute. her vocals werent as good as they are currently but idc because this show was so funny,, it had the iconicccc throwing of the red chairs in forever & always and shoudlve said no in the rain!!!!!!!!
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27-royal-teas · 10 months
Text
new religion is pretty gay
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I was going to write a full essay about this but you see, i do not care, so im just going to point things out for shits and giggles
before i take a deep dive into the gayness of this excellent song, what the fuck is up with so many male artists featuring other guys when they’re singing about sex. waterparks did it with blackbear. Idk if youve ever listened to fuck about it but that shit is NOT hetero. Anyway
i had always read this song as gay or at the very least not straight so it was kind of weird when i was talking about it to my friend and she was like ‘really? Id always read it straight but now i kind of see your side’ so my goal here is to corrupt everyone
Lets start (first of all) with the entire title in itself. Like, NEW religion. Why new? Why not old? Why not just religion? A lot of different musical artists have compared their partners and slash or sexual endeavors to church and god and religion in the past (see: “if you were church, I’d get on my knees” “take me to church I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies”, the entirety of your body my temple by will wood, at this point my friend has actually created a playlist of horny songs to anger the church). all time low has decided to join this list, apparently, because new religion (not old, not just religion) implies a switch over from something. It’s new, not old, it’s not defined. Reportedly and publically alex has only ever been with lisa (his wife) and i believe jasey rae who is the girl he named the song jasey rae about (which is a FANTASTIC song too). 
New religion paints alex as unsure about where he stands sexually but its for sure that he’s positive about whatever he’s doing. The entire first verse implies it: i never thought myself a believer, but tonight, i believe in you. Alex is using the entire concept of god as metaphor for sexuality. Sub out the word believer for homosexual. See what i mean? Later, in teddy’s verse, he says, ain’t no questioning my faith, implying that he’s sure about where he stands. The next line, which is my favorite, goes could be a sin to want you but worse to walk away.
This is my favorite line in this song because it’s so OBVIOUS like DUDE. the choice of words here. ‘Could be a sin to want you’ like this just stuck out to me so much because guess what’s regularly called a sin by specifically churchgoing homophobes? HOMOSEXUALITY. This could not be more rainbow flag. 
so my proof in ADDITION to the fact that they got a MALE SINGER to feature on their one very sex related song on the album in conclusion alex gaskarth i know what you are
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lisinfleur · 3 years
Text
Shelter
The request:
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Author’s Notes | I took the chance for Day Felice’s new album and wrote it while listening to their song Shelter, if you guys want to listen to it while reading as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! (And the song too haha). Universe | Vikings Pairing | Ivar x Reader Info | Viking Age AU, requested by anon. Words | 1878 ⁑ Warnings: Mentions to child abuse and abandonment. Wounds, blood, and some angst.
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His chariot noise was always something that would help his mind to ease after any kind of arguing. And with his wife, it wasn't different. This morning he’d left after a huge discussion with her.
Why was Y/N so worried about a slave child?
Ivar insisted several times she should just forget the thing and let it go. It wasn't their responsibility! And more: by taking leftovers and water for that child every night, she was only making the little thing's suffering longer!
"It would be dead already if it wasn't for you, feeding it every night!" he remembered trying to insist.
But Y/N's was stone-headed! Every single night, there was his queen, dressing her cloak and leaving his castle - once a former church - to visit the thing that now wasn't moving places, of course.
Someone was feeding it, helping it, all the time! Why would it be stupid and leave it behind?
Ivar was getting used to passing by that child every day as if the girl was some kind of door or local decoration. But not for his wife. Not his Y/N and her heart blessed by Frigg.
She was a natural mother. He knew that! It was one of the reasons he chose her the love Y/N would show for any child she could have around.
But when she came with that stupid idea, it went too far for him.
"I'm going to take her home."
A thing.
A useless thing that wouldn't serve not even as a slave, so thin it was.
They've discussed it for hours. Ivar screamed at Y/N she was insane, perhaps touched by some local spirit. Y/N yelled he was an insensitive motherfucker who could fuck himself out of her room if he thought she would let a child starve to death on her door.
As always, their love was intense but also was their anger. And whenever they would yell at each other, one of them would end up hurt.
This time, it was her.
"I don't fucking care about what you think! It's cattle, Y/N! Cattle die! And that's it! I won't spend my supplies with a thing that can barely give anything back to us!"
Or maybe not.
Perhaps... It was him.
"Fine then. Let us guide her to the woods and leave her to the wolves, Ivar. Isn't it what we do with useless things? Oh, wait... Wasn't it what your father did to you?"
Their words would always hurt each other deeper than they wanted to hurt. Their hearts would regret the words said at the moment they’d left their mouths.
But this time, her words forced his eyes to look out of his chariot. And Ivar stopped it by the street near where that thing was sitting, observing. Trying to understand why his wife was trying so hard to save that starving child.
Why was she comparing them as if there was anything in common between him and a Saxon abandoned child?
It was early in the morning. He watched as the little girl unwrapped the leftovers his wife had given to her the last night. At first, Ivar thought the little hungry thing would, of course, eat everything without care. But he watched with surprise as she fractioned the little portion, eating a quarter of it and saving the rest for later.
It was an intelligent move... She wasn’t a wild animal, after all.
That would be a cold day. Ivar observed as the little one looked up to the sky. The sun was born behind some heavy clouds - probably some rain would be coming at night.
He watched as the little thing looked around, smartly stealing a barrel from the trash of a nearby store, checking on its wooden pieces to place it properly as a shelter. She was young and thin enough to fit into it. It would serve for the night and maybe keep her warm.
The owner of the store, so as some people who were passing by, pushed her here or there, complaining about her attempts to move between them. And Ivar watched as the little girl looked up from the ground to the bigger people around her, fearlessly.
She wasn't such a defenseless little thing as he thought she was.
In fact, she was pretty smarter than he thought a Saxon child could be, hiding her barrel between the mead barrels of the same store, covering its problems with some mud, so the owner wouldn't see it wasn't one of his barrels.
She wouldn't have her shelter for the night thrown away or broken before she could use it.
Ivar lost track of the time he spent there, watching the girl moving here and there, gathering stones and mud to imitate the shop owner's way of stocking his barrels and preserving hers.
But the important matters of the town had to be more important than his arguing with his wife, and with this, Ivar moved away from that place.
His mind wondered if that was the reason why his wife was so sure he and that child had something in common.
The little girl was a fighter like he was someday, indeed. She was fighting her way to keep herself alive and, perhaps, his precious Y/N was right, and death wasn't exactly the fate that child had in this world.
Ivar tried to get himself occupied during the day. But the truth was that his mind never stopped lingering over Y/N's words, passing over and over the things he had seen that morning.
When the night was threatening to come, the sky broke in water as he thought it would. But curiosity dragged him away from the path to his home.
Ivar wanted to see if the little girl's plan had gone right and what was his surprise when he found the little one sitting away from the store under the heavy rain, with nothing but a rag to cover herself and wounds everywhere.
The barrel she'd tried so hard to protect was shattered near the store's trash, and a fence was placed by the owner around his barrels with some spikes near the place she was sitting before. It was preventing her from having coverage under his roof, even from the outside.
That angered Ivar a little. He'd seen her hard work! And, in the end, her plan had failed. She was clearly beaten and wet from her head to her toes anyway.
However, his eyes caught something he wasn't expecting.
After eating the last piece of what his wife had given to her, the little girl extended the leather over a hole he watched her carve with her bare hands on the ground. Treated, the leather started to catch water and fill itself, becoming a bag into the hole. The little girl caught the bag before it could lose its content, tied the leather with a strand of her ragged trousers, and created a canteen from where she started drinking the rainwater, relieving her thirst.
She was beaten down, defeated. Yet, she didn't give up. She didn't lay her pride down. And found herself a way to turn that rain into a chance for her to survive one more day.
There was determination in her eyes.
That little thing wasn't being sustained by his wife's crumbs. No. She was fighting to the limit of her strength to survive.
Like he'd done someday...
Ivar's eyes filled with surprise when he could see himself in that little girl's wounds, dragging himself through the mud when everyone thought he would never move.
Standing, when everyone was expecting his legs to break and let him fall.
She was a fighter. And, maybe, Y/N was right. Perhaps it wasn't about a Saxon child or a useless slave. Perhaps the gods were showing him they've chosen that little thing, to give her a chance, to reward her for the fight she was putting on for her life.
"Get in," Ivar's voice sounded.
The little thin thing lifted her eyes to see the mighty Viking looking at her from the chariot everyone from her people was taught to fear. Her wounded little body could barely reach the top of its wheels when she got up to look at Ivar.
Her eyes into his, instigating even more the curiosity he was starting to have about that little Saxon thing.
How fierce would she be if raised under his roof?
But the little thing didn't get up on his chariot at once. Instead, she lowered herself, gathering more stones with her muddy and wounded hands.
"I said get in! Don't you see you'll end up dying under this rain?" Ivar complained, annoyed he was standing under such heavy and cold waters for a thing that dared to turn her back on him, carving the floor and placing the stones in a way the rain wouldn't destroy her little monument. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"I must do it, sir," she mumbled.
Ivar could recognize a small stone monument in that little girl's construction. His people were used to rising those little towers to pray for the gods or place small sacrifices and offers.
Was Y/N teaching her about the gods?
"Why?" he asked as she tried to climb up on his chariot, struggling a little with the height and her wounded knees.
"It is for the lady who comes here every day," she mumbled. "I promised if I ever was to leave, I would leave one of these for her, so she would know I'm not dead."
For his wife.
She was leaving a stone monument for Y/N, so she wouldn't be worried...
"I don't know where you're taking me, king Ivar," she said, showing she knew who he was. "But I don't want her to be sad."
Ivar's heart ached. There was indeed something in common between him and that child. But not only the fact that both of them were survivors.
She didn't want his wife to be hurt.
And so didn't he.
"Cover yourself," he said, throwing his warm cloak around her.
It covered her like a blanket in which she rolled herself, nestling with a grateful smile.
"She was right," the little girl mumbled as Ivar started to ride his horses.
"What?" he asked, and she repeated, smiling at him.
"The lady was right." She said. "The gods were watching me. Maybe I passed their test."
Y/N was definitely teaching that girl. And Ivar sighed, looking at the road.
Perhaps it was a test for himself as well. Or Skuld just had decided to use him as a feather to write that little girl's fate differently.
"Skuld," he said, catching her eyes. "We shall name you Skuld. To honor the god that wrote your fate like this."
"Skuld," she tried.
Pronouncing it perfectly.
"Sounds strong... I like it!"
What a petulant little thing, Ivar thought. As if she had any choice on how things would be from now on. A giggle filled Ivar's mouth.
Y/N was right and he would remember apologising after coming home that night.
The little girl wasn’t a useless thing. And he had to admit.
She was like him, after all.
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hoodharlow · 3 years
Text
“Pa’que Pare de Chingar”
El Novio Quarantine Edition: Part 3
AN: Part 3 is HErEEEEEE!!! I apologize for not posting this yesterday. Hope y’all enjoy bc in un ratito Part 4 will be out. 
Warnings: smut, brief mention of weed and brief mention of birth control
requested? nope
Word Count:
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Calum leaned back in his seat and scrolled through Twitter while he waited for Claudia to get her birth control pills from the pharmacy. He was still pissed at the lady with the rat. 
Mrs. Garner, the neighbor whose dog bit Damian, ended up leaking a video of him and Claudia making out in the Santos driveway as a way to get back at them for reporting her dog. It was more of a compilation of them dating back to the summer before to just a few weeks ago when they got back from walking Duke and Panchito. It created an uproar. 
Fans were confused and surprised that Calum and Claudia have been together the whole time. Others were angry at the neighbor for invading their privacy. The paparazzi set up camp in the neighborhood in hopes of getting pictures of the couple since Mrs. Garner had also leaked their address. For the sake of Claudia's family and their privacy and safety, Calum and Claudia went back to Calum's house in L.A. where the neighborhood was more private. 
Soon enough, Mrs. Garner got a taste of her medicine when Calum's fans found out she had a wine shop and flooded Yelp and Google with negative reviews. To think she did all of that because her dog bit a little kid. 
He closed the app and replied to Ashton's text confirming the time he and his team were going over for the album photoshoot. Calum still couldn't believe that Ashton wrote and produced his own album in such little time. Nonetheless he was proud of him. Ashton is someone he admired purely based on his ambition and talent. 
There was a soft knock on the passenger side of the window. Claudia waved at Calum and motioned that the door was locked. 
"Shit," He cursed. He reached over and opened the door for her. "Sorry."
"It's okay." She said smoothing out the bed sheet before sitting on it. 
It was well into June, making the weather be over 80° which was not a good mix with the car's leather seats and Claudia's short shorts and rompers. Not to mention she sweated an embarrassing amount through her ass. 
"I'm hungry. Can we get breakfast burritos before going to Target?" Claudia asked him. 
"Of course. San Miguel's?" Calum suggested. It's been months since they went to their go-to Mexican food place at Long Beach. 
"Yes. Let me order it through postmates so we can just pick them up."
She pulled out the paper bag containing her birth control and hid it behind her back while she tore apart her purse to get her phone. She felt one of Calum's cool hands on her back, pulling out the paper bag. 
"Why are you hiding your birth control like it's a bad thing? I know you're on it." he asked. 
"Because." she said, taking the bag and shoving it deep in her purse. 
"Because why?" 
"It's weird." she giggled nervously. She pulled back her hair into a bun. "Like I've never been at this personal level with any of my exes. Not that it's a bad thing, I'm just still, like, getting used to it."
"Oh."
"Yeah…"
"Did I make it awkward?” Calum asked her, intertwining their fingers together.
“A little, but it’s okay. I don’t want you to overthink this. I’m just getting used to this, you did nothing wrong.” 
Claudia leaned over and kissed his cheek. She pulled out her phone and opened Postmates. “Do you want your breakfast bowl hash browns or tater tots?”
“Tater tots please.”
The rest of the drive to San Miguel’s was pleasant. They got into some traffic, but luckily Calum and Claudia were both in good moods, resulting in Calum playing Jose Alfredo Jimenez and Natalia Lafourcade along with other Mexican groups. A few weeks ago, Diego introduced him to them when they both got high and decided to listen to Mariachi music. It was the most they bonded since Calum and Claudia started dating.
Pepe Aguilar faded into the background as Calum lowered the volume. He glanced over at Claudia, she was looking out the window, letting the sunrays dance on her face. 
“Hey Claudia?” Calum asked, getting her attention.
“Yeah?” She answered him, pulling herself away from the window. 
“I know I shouldn’t be asking you this, but if you’re comfortable, what was your other ex like?” He shifted in his seat awkwardly, not knowing how Claudia was going to respond. 
He knew it was one of those wildcard questions. She would either answer him, or go off telling him that the past is the past. But after her comment about her exes, he just had to know. All he knew about the guy was that he played football and was a year older than her. 
“Isaiah was a sweetheart. I met him through his sisters. We got close because I defended them when they got made fun of for liking One Direction, they even showed me some of Luke’s covers too. Anyways, we would always hang out at my place so I never met their brother until the first day of school where we were the only underclassmen in our AP Stats class. After that we became really good friends. We became a thing after he asked me to homecoming. Our relationship was pretty much stagnant. We didn’t do anything like sex wise. He was really respectful about that too and always kept the football team in check about that. 
This one guy from the football team started a rumor that he hooked up with a girl from the dance team and Isaiah called him out. Like overall he was a good guy. So when he graduated, we decided to just stay friends. We didn’t see each other until my senior prom where he was my date because a certain bass player didn’t go to prom with me after he said yes and I reached my goal of ten thousand retweets.”
“That was you?” Calum yelled. “I felt so bad. We had like a two week break, but a day after our show in Dublin my appendix ruptured and was bed ridden until our break ended. I guess that could explain why you didn’t give me a slice of chocoflan when I went.” 
“Damn, I thought your team was just BSing and didn’t want to go. I was really sad and sold my tickets out of spite.” Claudia mumbled to herself.
“I have the corsage somewhere in my room, actually.”
“Seriously?” 
“Yeah, I can give it too with one condition.”
“What is it?” 
“You slow dance with me.”
***
It happened so fast. Claudia was hanging up some shirts she tie-dyed to air dry while Calum watched in the comfort of their new lounge chair. It had a dark wood foundation with a comfy and waterproof mattress on top. A comment about Claudia's peeking out of her silk romper led to one about how they haven't christened the chair. A few teasing touches later, Calum dropped his slutty shorts. It was a term coined by Claudia after Calum accidentally bought some RVCA shorts that were closer to his crotch than his knees. 
Claudia leaned down and captured his lips. She got off the lounge chair, taking her time removing her silk romper. Then she slowly crawled back to Calum. He lifted his bucket hat covered head and leaned up to kiss her once more. He laid back down before pushing back his hat to get a better view of Claudia. 
She coated Calum’s cock with her arousal then she slowly slid down his length. Her hands rested on his tummy and Calum placed his hands on her waist, and slowly guided her. Claudia rocked her hips back and forth. She closed her eyes, gasping at the feeling of him all the way inside her. 
"Just like that pretty girl,” Calum moaned out. 
She opened her eyes and found him staring into hers. Without breaking eye contact she rolled her hips a bit slower, bucking his hips up into her. She moaned as he groaned in pleasure. 
"Calum,” Claudia whimpered. 
He sat up as Claudia wrapped her arms around his shoulders while he held her in his arms. She slowly continued to roll herself against him and Calum let out an incoherent moan in her ear. 
Claudia rested her head against his shoulder. “Hey,” Calum said softly. “Eyes on me." 
She lifted her head to look at him. His eyes flickered from her lips to her eyes and a huge smile formed on his lips. Calum captured her lips. Claudia halted her movements and solely focused his mouth. She held onto his face with both hands, deepening their kiss. 
Without breaking the kiss, Calum pushed Claudia onto her back. Pushing her legs to her chest, he slowly thrusted into her with slightly rough precision. He halted his movements thinking Duke must have gotten out, and looked up.
“Ash?”
“Ashton? I know—”
“Get dressed, Ash and Ryan are here.” He whispered, pulling up his shorts. He tossed her romper and awkwardly stood in front of the chair as she got dressed.
“Are you two seriously fucking?” Ashton yelled from the other side of the pool. “I liked napping in that lounge chair, now you ruined it.”
“Well I liked fucking my boyfriend in this lounge chair, now you ruined that.” Claudia yelled back in the same tone as him. 
She leaned into Calum and kissed his cheek. “I’m gonna make some cookies and stuff.”
She waved at Ryan and flipped Ashton off as she passed them to get to the kitchen. She poured some macadamia nuts on a comal and let them toast on a low heat while she prepped the cookie batter. She was making white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies with spinach. She saw the recipe on Fetch with Ruff Ruffman when she was in elementary school and since then it became her go-to recipe for white chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies. She also liked making them to spite Ashton because he always said her cookies weren't the healthiest. Now he couldn't say anything since she put a bag of spinach in it. 
The macadamia nuts finished toasting in time for them to get folded into the cookie dough along with the chocolate chips and spinach. She placed them in the oven and cleaned up while they baked. Remembering she still had some doggie dough, she also placed them in the oven. She then prepared some agua de jamaica with some jamaica leaves that she let soak overnight. 
Claudia heard Duke’s barks by the front door. She went over and saw the delivery person walking back to their truck. She motioned Duke to back up so she could open the door to get the package. It was her monthly Savage×Fenty package. She took the box up to their room, thinking of ways to tease. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard the kitchen timer go off. 
Duke was excitedly wagging his tail in front of the oven, waiting for her to get out the treats she made. He backed away and watched her get out the baking trays. 
“En un ratito okay? They’re still hot.” Claudia told him.
Once they cookies and treats cooled off she placed them on plates. She placed the pitcher of agua de jamaica and the cookie plate on a tray and took it outside for the guys. Calum helped her carry it.
“Did you make your spinach cookies to spite Ashton?” He asked her.
“Yeah, pa’que pare de chingar.” She smiled to herself. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. “Also, I got a package, so make sure no one touches your phone in the next hour or so, unless they want to see my ass.”
Taglist: @f-mu @another-lonely-heart​ @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021​   @calumscalm​ @karajaynetoday​ @cherryxwildflower​ @myloverboyash​  @idontneedanyone​ @findingliam-o​ @5-secondsofcolor​ @spicylftv​ @sexgodashton​ @fckingpernico​ @2fangirl4u​ @calpops
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gretavanbitch · 3 years
Text
Tangled up in blue 6-
Warnings- drinking, smoking, smut
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Note- Hi loves, I just want to say thank you for all of the kind reception to this story. I am so glad you are enjoying it, and I hope you like the new chapter! also asks are open for imagines about any of the boys. 
~
The warmth of the bonfire surrounded the group, illuminating their faces with light. Penny sat close to Josh, a blanket wrapping around both of them. The night was midway through, hours of the usual alcohol related antics had long passed now there was a quiet calmness in the group. 
Both Penny and Josh. sit criss cross applesauce, Josh’s head leaning on Penny’s shoulder as they listened to Jake tell a story. He was describing the time that Sam made a bong in high-school ceramics. Giddy laughter shook Josh’s body, bittersweet memories of youth unfolding with the night. 
“He tried to convince Mrs. Reid that it was a watering can,” Jake chuckled, leaning back into his chair as he spoke. Penny smiled, imagining the trouble that the band got into as teenagers, and wishing she was there to see it herself. The remains of her tequila soda were floating around at the bottom of her cup, her third tequila soda that night. Both her and Josh had three drinks, a substantial buzz enveloping them both. 
“Hey Pen,” Josh spoke in a hushed whisper, his head still on her shoulder and eyes toward the fire. 
“Hey babe,” She whispered back, kissing the top of his head after she did. 
“Gimme some lovin,” he sighed, lifting his head and meeting her eyes before meeting her lips in a sweet kiss. His scent overwhelmed her senses, causing the light of the fire and the sounds of the group disappearing completely. The only thing that existed was him, and he was the only thing that mattered. Whenever he touched her, she melted. Whenever he spoke, she listened. And whenever he left, she broke. He was her world, and she could only hope that she was his. 
A gust of cool air sent a chill down Penny’s spine, reminding her that getting lost in her mind would only distract her from the important things. Like the beautiful soul next to her. 
“wanna go watch a movie?” Josh asked, nudging his nose against Penny’s softly. Penny hummed in response, reaching for his hand as he offered it to help her up from the seat. They muttered goodnights to everybody before making their exit up to the bedroom. 
When they reached the room, Josh flicked on the bedside lights and grabbed his laptop from the bag. Penny pulled down the blankets on the bed and patted the spot next to her softly. She was still wearing Josh’s grey hoodie and boxers, and he was wearing a white shirt and grey sweatpants. 
The white duvet cover ruffled slightly as Josh placed the laptop in his lap, clicking on the netflix tab. 
“Watcha wanna watch baby?” he asked. Penny sighed, nuzzling her head into the crook of his arm, wrapping her hands around his waist. 
“twilight, this is the perfect place to watch twilight,” Penny concluded, getting excited with her own idea. Josh chuckled, but clicked on the movie anyways. 
“anything for you, Pen,” He then pulled the blonde closer to him, resting his head on top of hers. 
After about 20 minutes of the movie, Josh’s eyes began to flutter closed, as his chest rose and fell steadily. 
“Hey Josh?” Penny spoke, just above a whisper. 
“mm?” he mumbled, half asleep. 
“do you ever see us settling down? like kids, and a dog, and a nice house, yanno?” Josh was more awake now, thinking deeply. Penny’s hand drew mindless circles on his stomach, her cheek resting against his chest. 
“I dunno, i’ve never been one for domesticity,” he thought “but I would do anything for you.”
“Aw Joshie, you going soft for me?” Penny teased, craning her neck up to jut her lips out at Josh. He rolled his eyes, chest shaking with his low chuckles. The dim light of the computer screen illuminated his face just enough to outline his face perfectly. He looked down at her through his lashes, smiling softly. 
“No, I just love you Pen,” He smiled, pulling her frame completely onto his chest, moving the laptop to the side as he did. 
“I love you too Josh,” Then she kissed him, running her fingers through his curls lightly. He smiled against her, pulling her chest closer to him. His hands ran over her waist and down to her butt, squeezing it lightly. Penny moved her legs over his frame to straddle him, running her tongue against his bottom lip as she did. This elicited a sigh from Josh, his erection growing under Penny’s core. 
After a few minutes, she pulled back momentarily, peeling her hoodie off to reveal her bare chest. Josh caught his lip between his teeth, eyes half closed and darkened with lust. 
“you’re so pretty, baby,” Penny sighed, running her hands down his jaw. Josh just groaned in response, pulling her back in for a heated kiss. She then removed his shirt, and peppered kisses down his collarbone, biting softly as she did. He sighed, running his hands through her slightly messy hair. The sounds of the rest of the band outside the window could still be heard, but they felt a million miles away. 
An idea then popped into Penny’s head and she smiled a devilish grin as she got on her knees next to Josh’s frame. He raised his eyebrows, running his hand down her back lovingly as she got comfortable on her knees. Her eyes met his as she palmed him through his sweat pants, his breathing hitching in his throat in reaction. His eyes fluttered shut with a smile on his face. She bit her lip, pulling his member out of his boxers. Her mouth salivated at the sight of him. He was perfect, longer than you would expect and thicker too. She thumbed over his tip, gathering precum as she did. He sighed, taking his own lip in his teeth. 
She then licked a stripe up his length, wrapping her hand around his base. Her tongue swirled around his tip before her lips wrapped fully around him, slowly lowering her head. Josh let out a whimper, holding her hair softly as she began to bob. After a few minutes Josh’s breathing became more eratic and his hips began to jut up, causing Penny to gag a few times. 
“fuck baby stop,” he moaned, “I need to be in you.” 
Penny grinned, removing herself off of him. Josh immediately and aggressively crashed his lips against hers, gripping her hips tightly. He then ran a few fingers through her heat, inserting two. 
“mm so wet for me, mama.” 
Josh then flipped Penny over so he was now hovering over her. He kissed her nose softly, pushing her hair behind her ear. So beautiful, he thought. He removed her boxers, softly running his hands down the dips of her hips. Every part of her was perfect. The stretch marks that ran down her hips, the beauty marks that decorated her face, and his favorite part, her smile. The way that her lips curled up just enough to reveal her teeth was his favorite sight in the whole world. To him, she was his world. 
He kissed down her breasts, stopping to appreciate each one. She hummed in response, smiling and running her hands through his hair. He then lined himself up at her entrance, pausing momentarily to tease her clit with his tip, eliciting a gasp from her. He met her lips once more, pushing himself into her deeply. They moaned in unison, her nails tracing down his back harshly. He started with a steady pace. Her chin was tilted to the sky and his head was buried in the crook of her neck, both panting and whining. 
“look at me baby,” Penny cried, getting closer to reaching her own peak. He rasped a groan, meeting her eyes. Her eyes were half shut, closing occasionally with a particularly deep thrust. Penny’s vision then became blurry, legs shaking, and a string of profanities falling out of her lips as she came. Josh followed suit only seconds later, moaning loudly and collapsing onto penny. 
For a few minutes the only sounds to be heard in the room were Josh and Penny’s heavy breathing and the light wind outside the window. Josh lay on his stomach, arms wrapped around Penny’s frame. She played with his hair softly as his breathing became slower, lulling him to sleep. She followed suit soon after, welcoming the serenity of sleep next to Josh’s warm frame. 
~
Streams of golden light ran wild through Josh’s hair. The breeze from the open window jostled the curtains softly, causing a chill to run down Penny’s exposed chest. She yawned quietly, prying Josh’s arms off of her frame. Her bare feet padded against the floor, picking up one of Josh’s white shirts and her boxers from last night. 
She brushed her teeth and washed the makeup that she neglected to remove last night from her face. The cold wood of the stairs creaked softly under her feet as she made her way to the kitchen. She could hear the sound of voices as she rounded the corner, yawning once again. 
“Well well well, look who it is,” Sam smiled into his coffee cup from his seat at the counter. Penny laughed, flipping him off as she poured two cups of coffee. 
Jake and Sam shared a knowing glance for a moment before Jake spoke, “did you have a good night last night?” he snorted into his coffee. 
“It was fine, why?” Penny asked absentmindedly stirring cream into Josh’s coffee. 
“oh nothing, you should just be the singer on our new album, you got some pipes,” Sam laughed. Penny’s eyes bugged out of her head and her hand clamped over her mouth. 
“oh shit,” she laughed. Just as the laughter was dying down, she heard the pattering of footsteps down the stairs. Josh emerged in his boxers, head a fluffy mess. He rubbed his eyes as he sat down on the stool next to penny, thanking her for the coffee with a kiss on the cheek. 
“what’s so funny guys,” he questioned as everyone, including Penny giggled quietly. 
“Josh, everyone heard us last night,” Penny laughed, rubbing her temples. 
Josh leaned back, hands up against his head and a proud grin on his face. “whoops,” he smiled. Penny just shook her head, smiling and slightly embarrassed. The morning progressed into a slow and lazy tempo, breakfast taking them an hour to finish eating. The group was now haphazardly lounging in the living room, Scarface playing on the TV. Josh was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch with penny’s head on his lap. Jake and Danny shared the couch, while Sam was out picking up the girls at the airport. Penny was excited to finally have some more feminine energy in the group. Carly, Emily, and Dana were all going to be joining them on tour for another week and a half then they all would be returning to work, including Penny. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving Josh again, but she hoped to document as much of it as she could through her lens. 
Halfway through the movie, Penny needed a smoke. She grabbed her pack and headed towards the back door. The soft pattering of rain sent a chill down her spine, causing her to wrap her arms around her frame. Josh was inside, totally engrossed in the film, and she was okay that he wasn’t joining her. She needed just a moment alone, a moment of quiet. Once she returned to Nashville, she would be alone again. There would be no beautiful mornings of golden sunlight shining on Josh’s face, or quick kisses while he cooked dinner. What is the point of living if you aren’t with the one you need? No, she couldn’t think like that. She was more than Josh’s girlfriend and she knew it. She was an artist and so was he, but sometimes it’s hard to get motivation outside of the beauty of love. She crushed her smoke in the ashtray and opened the sliding door, feeling slightly unsettled by her thoughts. The only aspect of comfort coming from the knowledge that the girls would be here soon, she could talk to them. 
Lunch arrived with homemade sandwiches by Danny. Everyone was eating and talking loudly, enjoying eachothers company when Sam finally made his way back to the house with the girls. She could barely get out a word before Carly enveloped her in a huge bear hug. She laughed, squeeking out a greeting before hugging both Dana and Emily very tightly as well. Everyone said their hello’s before the girls found their way to their designated boy, the soft lull of romance filling the air. 
Josh smiled into Penny’s hair as they watched the couples bathe in each other’s presence. She sat on his lap at the dining room table, leaning back into him with his arms wrapped around her. When it reached two in the afternoon, the boys began to prepare for the show that night, gathering special picks and tamborines up. 
The boys would be heading to the venue a few hours earlier than the girls, not wanting them to have to sit around while they do soundcheck and work on mechanical aspects of the show. Penny was grateful of this, knowing she could use some girl time right now. 
“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Penny smiled, kissing Josh sweetly as he hugged her goodbye. 
“I’ll text you for outfit advice,” he winked as he made his way out to the car that would take them to the venue, leaving the girls with the rental. The girls agreed to spend a few hours alone in their own rooms, most of them were still jet lagged and needed a good nap. When it hit six, everyone slowly emerged from their rooms, makeup bags in hand. 
“alright bitches,” Carly spoke, putting her hands firmly on her hips, “let’s pregame and talk shit.” Everyone yelled out in agreeance, gathering their makeup and drinks of choice to gather in the living room. 
“So ms Penny,” Dana began “things seem to be getting pretty serious with Josh.” She wiggled her eyebrows as she primed her face. Penny smiled, spraying her face with rosewater. 
“yeah I think we are,” She responded, forming her lips into a thin line as she rubbed product into her skin. 
“well, I support it. You both look really happy,” Emily smiled, patting Penny’s knee softly. 
“thanks guys,” Penny smiled. Her mind drifted for a moment, remembering the gaping trench in her gut. She remembered the fact that she simply cannot process leaving Josh for more than a day. 
Silence filled the group for a few moments, everyone focused on their own makeup and drinks. 
“I actually have something I wanted to ask you guys,” Penny sighed, placing her eyeshadow brush down harshly. They all nodded, waiting for her to continue speaking. “I go home next week, and well i’m terrified because last time I was alone I completely shut down,” Her eyes welled, she quickly dabbed the tears away, not wanting to ruin her makeup. “I feel like I don’t exist when Josh isn’t with me.” 
She finally looked up to meet the faces of the other girls. Their faces were sympathetic, they stared at her like she was a hurt baby deer, helpless. Dana finally spoke up, breaking the silence. 
“We all feel like that babe,” everyone nodded in unison, frowns on their faces, “It just gets easier with time, you have to find ways to distract yourself and grow comfortable with yourself.” 
“yeah, and remember whenever they are on tour, all of us four are alone, so just give one of us a call and we’ll be there,” Emily said quietly, rubbing a hand down Penny’s back lovingly. 
“thanks guys, seriously I love you all,” Penny chuckled, enveloping them all in a hug. 
“We love you, now lets get drunk for real this time,” Carly responded, pouring everyone tequila shots. 
~
GUYS! sorry for the delay on this chapter, I am hoping to update again this week! hope you liked it :)
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444piscesprincess · 3 years
Text
childhood friends to lovers/growing up together sterek fic reclist
uhh this kinda got a lil angsty but i recommend you pick a growing up together fic and listen to this song i promise you will not regret it 
https://open.spotify.com/track/5Dz8nrwQlPLE68WaTEIqY5?si=aogjMc1aToSALmAlfQOR7A 
anyways as usual check tags please!!
(click on the title for the fic)
you know you're on my mind
bibliosexual
Summary:
If there’s one thing Derek’s learned in life, it’s that crushing on someone who lives on an entire other fucking continent is probably a bad idea.
(hs!au + texting!au + childhood friends to lovers the ULTIMATE fluff fic)
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)   (series)
yodasyoyo
Summary:
Stiles is six years old when he first hears Derek's voice in his head.
Or what happens if you have a soulmate bond, in a universe where soulmate bonds don't exist?
Up Down Lock Unlock
isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)
Summary:
“Why are you going into grandma Ito’s apartment?” he asked.
Derek turned to him, key sliding into the lock. “What do you mean?” He tried to turn it, but the key wasn’t budging. Maybe the lock was sticking again, it’d been doing that the past few days.
Stiles was staring at him like Derek was stupid.
Derek did not appreciate sass from a ten year old.
“That’s grandma Ito’s place.”
“No,” Derek said calmly, pulling the key out and then shoving it back in, wiggling it a little when it continued to refuse to unlock the door. “This is my place.”
“I think you’re on the wrong floor then, because that apartment belongs to grandma Ito.”
(time travel counts as childhood friends right?)
the difference between going back and going home
thepsychicclam
Summary:
Stiles and Derek were inseparable growing up, but then college, jobs, and life happened. When Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills a decade later, he doesn't expect to reconnect with Derek, and he sure doesn't expect to fall in love with him.
It's Such a Gas When You Bring Up the Past
orphan_account
Summary:
Stiles finds a box of old photo albums that dredge up the sweet, the funny, the adorable, and the mildly heartwrenching parts of his and Derek's past.
(mainly a friends fic but its too cute to not include)
It's Always Been You
charlesdk
Summary:
Stiles' love life was practically non-existing, always had been. He was always terrible at picking up clues when people hit on him (it had happened, Erica had been witness to it and had been the one to let him know it was happening in the first place) because he never expected anyone to do so.
He wasn't the most desirable guy around, he knew that. He was loud, extremely nerdy, never knew when to stop talking, not exactly much of a looker if you asked him, the list was endless.
Point was, he never did know when someone was flirting with him. Which was probably how he ended up in the fight that would change his life for the better.
Lead You Home Again
GotTheSilver
Summary:
The first time Derek meets Stiles, the kid’s brown eyes are wide, and he’s staring up at him with a mischievous grin as he tugs at the arm of Derek’s first ever Batman figure like he’s trying to separate it from Batman’s body.
An alternate take on Teen Wolf, wherein Stiles and Derek are childhood friends, and things unfold from there.
Kingdom By The Sea
kilaem
Summary:
Lydia grabs his arm and pulls him down in the seat next to her. “When the hell did you find time to bag a guy like Hale?”
“We’re friends,” Stiles feels his face heat up, and then the team are running out and Derek sees him and smiles. His blush gets worse.
“Oh really?”
“Our moms were friends, okay? We’ve been in diapers together.”
“I thought you two hated each other.”
Those That Bump In The Night
bleep0bleep
Summary:
A boy’s head appears upside down, hanging off the bed. “Is anyone there?” he calls out curiously, looking right at Derek’s eyes. Caught, then. The protocol for being deliberately seen by a child is just to look as strange and fearsome as possible. No one would believe them, anyways. But Derek is tired, and he’s been running and scared, and now he just kind of flickers, curling out a tendril of dark smoke, hoping that he’s a little bit scary. No such luck. The boy’s eyes widen. “Oooh, are you the bogeyman?” “Bogeyperson,” Derek says, before he can help himself.
~
When Stiles was a boy, he had an imaginary friend named Derek. Ten years later, Derek comes back, and is very, very real.
Five Times Derek and Stiles Kissed For Practice (And One Time They Didn't)
mikkimouse
Summary:
In which Derek and Stiles grow up together and practice kissing, roughly in that order.
216 + 1: Words To Say Instead of I Love You
briggs
Summary:
Derek and Stiles have been best friends for fourteen years. They have their differences, sure, but it's never been a question for them. Their friendship has been the most solid thing in their lives -- until suddenly it isn't anymore.
Funny how just a few choice words can throw fourteen years of friendship off-balance.
OR
a collection of "Bro, That's Gay" one-shots that actually ended up turning into a concrete storyline.
hope is the thing with feathers (part of a series)
ShanaStoryteller
Summary:
Stiles is ten when he saves the Hales from their burning home and Derek from a wolfsbane bullet, and this establishes a pattern that seem to continue indefinitely.
"Then he's facing a burning home, and he wraps the hood of his sweatshirt around his mouth before he pushes the door open and steps inside. There's Mr. Hale asleep - he hopes asleep - on the couch, next to - Stiles thinks that's his brother but there are so many Hales, who can keep track. He rushes over and starts shaking him, can see the rise and fall of the man's chest so he knows he's alive, but he's not waking up. He shoves away his hood so he can shout, "Mr. Hale! You have to get up, there's a fire! Mr. Hale, get up!" Nothing, he's not even twitching, both of them taking in deep even breaths like they're having the most peaceful of rests, and Stiles is going to cry. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" There's a moment, where all Stiles can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and not the roar of the flames or the creak of wood, then with a violent, silent pop it's all back and both of the men are gasping awake, eyes open and jumping to their feet. "
(one of my favourite fics like EVER)
it came from the trees
whatshouldntbe
Summary:
“Don’t worry, Scott caught me up on everything,” Kira assures with a bubbly smile via video-chat. “You and Derek, huh? I probably should have seen that coming. I always thought it might be Cora, but Derek was the one that looked at you how I used to look at you.”
Stiles goes a little pink. “It’s still kinda new but, yeah. I really like him. He’s...” Beautiful. Patient. Smart. Painfully honest. Sweet.“...a total dork.”
Kira laughs and laughs. When she gets herself together, she replies, “Yeah, those little hearts and stars in your eyes definitely say different."
or
Stiles moves from the shiny, fast-paced lifestyle of Los Angeles to the foggy, sleepy town of Beacon Hills so his dad can become the new sheriff. Newly fifteen, he does his best to finish out his freshman year of high school (by staying under the radar) when he suddenly becomes the Beyoncé of the Supernatural community. And, without much prompting on his part, he ends up catching the eye of one of the most prominent Werewolf families in all of North America. It literally all starts with a stuffed animal(s).
(oh god this fic is the literal best even though its abandoned it ends at okay-ish place. this is one of the best hale family characterisations ive ever read. if you squint it can be a childhood friends to lovers fic but im including it anyway bc its amazing)
Promises aren't Meant to be Broken
paradis
Summary:
“Thanks for saving me,” Stiles blurts out, staring up at Laura, wide eyed.
Laura grins. “I like you,” she says, “we’ll be friends.”
(more laura and stiles besties centric but totally worth a read)
The Things We See
MelodramaticSalad
Summary:
Stiles grew up in the life of knowing that there was always more to life than what others saw with a first glance. Even as a child he saw things that no one else seemed to and always had a fascination with the unusual.
Some considered him an unusual child, but Claudia welcomed every single quirk her son displayed. His mother had a few special talents of her own and thrilled her to see it in her son as well. She'd raised Stiles to always keep his mind open and as grew and started to display his powers, she began to teach him how to use them. She even taught Stiles about werewolves at a young age, his infatuation with them growing once he had learned the truth about her closest friend.
Stiles spent nearly every possible moment that he could roaming the Hale house, following after the middle child most of the time. Derek was three years older than Stiles, but the bond they developed with each other was something their mothers considered out of a story book. Like Derek, Stiles was sensitive to his emotions, but unlike Derek, Stiles didn't need a scent to figure it out. He could feel it.
take me back
matildajones
Summary:
“I dare you to kiss me,” Stiles taunts, and he’s not expecting the way Derek says a naughty word under his breath and then leans forward.
Stiles yelps. He just dodges Derek’s mouth before he’s laughing wildly and running through the trees, calling out a series of ew ew ew as Derek chases him back home.
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jazziehart · 3 years
Text
Taylor Swift Albums Reviews
Hello my lovely blog readers,
I want to thank those of you who stick around through all my crazy rants and long Glee posts. You guys are the real MVPs and I will always appreciate you.
Anyway onto why we're here, in the wake of Taylor rereleasing her albums I found it fitting to take a look back at her discorgaphy so far! Thanks to my good friend Aly, I decided to relisten to all of her albums which the order was randomly decided. I will be talking about the deluxe editions so enjoy!
Let's start off with the first album that was drawn first which was Red.
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One of my favorite albums right off the bat with probably her best album cover. I remember how excited I was for 22, mostly because my girl Dianna Agron's name was in the liner notes. Let's dive into what I thought now about 9 years later!
Favorite Track: Begin Again Least Favorite Track: The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody) Bonus Track I Wish was on the main album: All of them!!! Favorite Bonus Track: The Moment I Knew Album Ranking: 6th/9
Overall I adore this album so so much. The only track I didn't care for in the least was The Last Time. I think you'll find a trend with me that my least favorite Tayor tracks tend to be her duets (the exception being Everything Has Changed which is also on this album and is the purest of all). The album has held up and even moreso I love it than the first time I listened. Crazy. Anyway onto the rankings of each song. DISCLAIMER: These are just my opinions and you can disagree with them but please be respectful.
1) Begin Again 2) The Moment I Knew 3) State of Grace (Acoustic Version) 4) I Almost Do 5) Stay Stay Stay 6) All Too Well 7) Everything Has Changed (featuring Ed Sheeran) 8) 22 9) Come Back...Be Here 10) Red 11) I Knew You Were Trouble 12) The Lucky One 13) We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together 14) Starlight 15) Girl at Home 16) Sad Beautiful Tragic 17) State of Grace 18) Holy Ground 19) Treacherous 20) The Last Time (featuring Gary Lightbody)
Honestly I adore this album so much as a whole and ranking every song was so hard. Holy Ground honestly had a lot of potiental I hated the arrangement but if I heard an acoustic version I would be sold, much like State of Grace which I wasn't huge on the original but the acoustic I'm obsessed with. Moving onto our second album which is one of Taylor's newest.
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folklore! Funny enough on first listen I wasn't as into it as everyone else was but trust me, the relisten definitely helped me change my mind. I also heard the lakes for the first time which I loved. Since it's the only bonus track I'm going to say I definitely wished it had made the main album over some of the other songs on it. Let's dive into my thoughts and rankings.
Favorite Track: mad woman Least Favorite Track: invisible string Album Ranking: 9th/9
1) mad woman 2) the 1 3) the last great american dynasty 4) mirrorball 5) hoax 6) peace 7) seven 8) august 9) my tears richocet 10) the lakes 11) cardigan 12) betty 13) illicit affairs 14) epiphany 15) this is me trying 16) exile (featuring Bon Iver) 17) invisible string
Okay I know cardigan and betty being so low is going make people unhappy but honestly I just loved the other songs better listed above it. So many gorgeous songs and a great era for Taylor. It's not my favorite era and still falls in my lower half of her albums but I can appreciate the tracks on it more than I did before with the relisten.
Now onto Taylor's most recent album which came up next in our randomization in evermore
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Unlike folklore on original listen I absolutely adored this album and had it in my top tier Taylor albums but will that opinion hold up? Let's find out.
Favorite Track: no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) Least Favorite Track: gold rush Favorite Bonus Track: it's time to go Album Ranking: 7th/9
1) no body, no crime (featuring HAIM) 2) happiness 3) champagne problems 4) willow 5) cowboy like me 6) dorothea 7) majorie 8) evermore (featuring Bon Iver) 9) closure 10) long story short 11) ‘tis the damn season 12) ivy 13) it’s time to go 14) coney island (featuring The National) 15) right where you left me 16) tolerate it 17) gold rush Okay let's talk about the relisten, it still held up but to me the one thing I didn't love about the album was the bonus tracks didn't add much to the original album so I kind of see why they were bonus tracks. I enjoyed the album none the less and I do think that most of my opinions are somewhat popular. I only see people being mad about 'tis the damn season being so low but honestly 1-11, I loved all the tracks so.
Up next is the rerelease that started it all, Fearless!
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Now let's see after 13 years (hey Taylor's lucky number) if my opinion of this iconic album changed. Back in the day I was so obsessed with this album so let's see how I feel now!
Favorite Track: You're Not Sorry Least Favorite Track: The Way I Loved You Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Forever and Always (Piano Verison) and Come in with the Rain Favorite Bonus Track: Forever and Always (Piano Version) Album Ranking: 4th/9
1) You’re Not Sorry 2) White Horse 3) Love Story 4) You Belong with Me 5) Change 6) Forever and Always (Piano Version) 7) Fifteen 8) Hey Stephen 9) Come in with the Rain 10) Jump Then Fall 11) Fearless 12) Forever and Always 13) The Best Day 14) The Other Side of the Door 15) Breathe (featuring Colbie Cailaitt) 16) Untouchable 17) SuperStar 18) Tell Me Why 19) The Way I Loved You
I still remember when this album was first coming out how jazzed and excited I was for it. It was highly anticipated for me being that I had fallen in love with Taylor from her debut album and listening back it still holds up as one of my favorite albums. The only two tracks I wasn't into back then and still am not into are Tell Me Why and The Way I Loved You. Other than those two tracks the entire album is incredible to listen to. I'm so excited to hear Taylor's versions of all these songs and who knows maybe my mind will change on some of them.
Moving onto the next album to be randomly selected which is almost every Swiftie's favorite 1989.
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Funny enough, originally this album isn't in my top favorites so who knows if my opinion will change on a relisten. Let's find out!
Favorite Track: Clean Least Favorite Track: I Wish You Would Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them?! Come on Taylor what's up with 1989 and Red having like some of their best tracks as bonus tracks. I'm mad haha. Favorite Bonus Track: Wonderland (gee I wonder why) Album Ranking: 5th/9
1) Clean 2) Wonderland 3) Wildest Dreams 4) This Love 5) You are in Love 6) Welcome to New York 7) Shake It Off 8) Blank Space 9) Bad Blood 10) Style 11) How You Get the Girl 12) Out of the Woods 13) New Romantics 14) I Know Places 15) All You Had to Do was Stay 16) I Wish You Would
Okay listening back. I now get the hype behind it. Listening to it with bonus tracks honestly makes all the difference. No joke. It's a much better album with the bonus tracks added. Honestly if Wonderland and You are in Love were on the main album it would've been top tier to me. Thank God for the deluxe version but team Taylor what is up with you hiding some of her best tracks and only releasing them on the bonus tracks? I'm mad. Also speaking on Wonderland, I adore the song even without the rumours of it being about my favorite celebrity Dianna Agron. Had the bonus tracks been on the main album it would higher but as a whole I love the album.
And now for our next album, which is reputation!
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This is probably Taylor's most controversial albums, some love it and some hate it. I actually am somewhere in the middle. I love some of the tracks while others I could've done without. Let's see where it goes for me listening back.
Favorite Song: New Year's Day Least Favorite: Dancing with Our Hands Tied Album Ranking: 8th/9
1) New Year's Day 2) Gorgeous 3) Don’t Blame Me 4) This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 5) I Did Something Bad 6) Dress 7) Delicate 8) Call It What You Want To 9) ...Ready for It? 10) Look What You Made Me Do 11) King of my Heart 12) Getaway Car 13) So It Goes... 14) End Game (featuring Ed Sheeran and Future) 15) Dancing with Our Hands Tied
Okay I feel like my choices here are controversal especially Getaway Car being pretty low on the album. Honestly I liked the song just wasn't into the hype that everyone else said about it, sorry you guys. Also Dancing with Our Hands Tied on the ALBUM is my least favorie song. I absolutely adored Taylor's acoustic version that was in the rep Tour. Had she released that on the album it would be after Look What You Made Me Do. The arrangement on the album I just didn't care for and I prefer acoustic Taylor which I think a lot of you gather from my top picks.
Anyway moving onto to our next album that was randomized which is...Taylor Swift!
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Ah yes the album that started it all. 15 years ago I discovered Taylor Swift via this album thanks to CMT. I was a huge country music stan back in the day who knew how this one album would lead to a career I've been following for 15 years. Now how does this album hold up? Let's find out!
Favorite Song: Should've Said No Least Favorite Song: A Perfectly Good Heart Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: Invisible and I'm Only Me When I'm with You Favorite Bonus Track: Invisible Album Ranking: 3rd/9
1) Should’ve Said No 2) Invisible 3) Cold as You 4) Picture to Burn 5) Our Song 6) The Outside 7) A Place in This World 8) Teardrops on My Guitar 9) Stay Beautiful 10) Tim McGraw 11) I’m Only Me When I’m with You 12) Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) 13) Tied Together with a Smile 14) A Perfectly Good Heart
This album still holds up 15 years later and made me so nostalgic. This had to be the hardest album for songs to rank thus far. Taylor hit it out of the park on her very first album crazy. She set the bar very high, funny enough it's the first album that a bonus track is my least favorite track but the entire album is a great listen, especially if you love country. It's very different from anything else Taylor did but that's what's so charming about it.
And now onto our second to last album which is another one of my favorites and the only album Taylor wrote fully on her own, Speak Now.
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The album cover is up there with Red as my favorite and I'm excited to listen back to this album. I remember how much I enjoyed it when it was first released. Excited to see what I think 11 years later. Let's find out.
Favorite Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Least Favorite Track: Last Kiss Bonus Tracks I Wish was on the main album: All of them. Dang it Taylor they deserved to be on the main album. Favorite Bonus Track: Haunted (Acoustic Version) Album Ranking: 2nd/9
1) Haunted (Acoustic Version) 2) Long Live 3) Haunted 4) Better Than Revenge 5) Back to December (Acoustic Version) 6) Mine 7) Back to December 8) Mean 9) If This Was a Movie 10) Innocent 11) Dear John 12) Speak Now 13) Ours 14) Never Grow Up 15) The Story of Us 16) Superman 17) Enchanted 18) Sparks Fly 19) Last Kiss
One of Taylor's absolute best albms and it was incredibly hard to rank these songs. I know people are going to be mad about Enchanted being low but I just didn't love it as much as the other tracks on the album, this after all is one of the best albums she ever released so it's incredibly hard to make the call.
Moving onto our final album which I've called my absolute favorite, Lover.
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It's only been an year since its release but will it hold up as my favorite album? Let's find out!
Favorite Track: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince Least Favorite Track: It’s Nice to Have a Friend Album Ranking: 1st/9
1) Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 2) Paper Rings 3) Lover 4) Soon You’ll Get Better (featuring The Chicks) 5) You Need to Calm Down 6) The Archer 7) The Man 8) Daylight 9) Afterglow 10) I Think He Knows 11) False God 12) Death by a Thousand Cuts 13) Cruel Summer 14) Cornelia Street 15) I Forgot That You Existed 16) ME! (featuring Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco) 17) London Boy 18) It’s Nice to Have a Friend
Yep it held up. This album is my favorite thing Taylor ever released. It was a tough call because I loved all of her top albums so much. Miss Americana still is my favorite performance which is no surprise, I was obsessed when this song came out 2 years ago. It's Nice to Have a Friend is the weakest track on the album but by no means is it a bad track. The entire album is a great listen all the way through, the only song that's hard to listen to especially if you have a sick parent "Soon You'll Get Better" I literally bawled after I finished it. So if you don't want an emotional song that might make you sad, it's best to skip it even though it's one of favorite tracks.
And that does it for us here. Hope you enjoyed my album reviews! Just to recap here's the rankings of all of Taylor's Albums:
1) Lover 2) Speak Now 3) Taylor Swift 4) Fearless 5) 1989 6) Red 7) evermore 8) reputation 9) folklore
Excited to see what's to come with the rerelease of Fearless and to hear the songs released from the vault. I've heard a few of her unreleased songs and honestly there are quite a few that I'm hoping are released. Thanks for enjoying us on this journey as always be kind and always spread love <3
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tangledstarlight · 3 years
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days go by and seasons change (lets try again next winter)
julie's ready for a year away from home, studying and trying to refind the magic in music. luke's about to start on a summer tour around europe opening for a band. they meet one night, sparks fly and emotions run hight. now they've just got to try and see if they can maintain a long distance friendship.
ok hello hi so this is my wild ride of a fic that i’m working on, a scene (much later on) came to me in a dream, and much like how smeyer wrote twilight, i just had to find out how they got there fhbdj there’s some drinking which would be classed as underage in the us but is legal in the uk which is where it’s set so 
trigger warnings!! alcohol and swearing
also on ao3 –– [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | extras 1 & 2 ]
winter
There was a line almost outside the door for the coffee shop, people wanting something to warm them up or just to avoid the sudden downpour of rain. Julie had been in England for just over a month now and she still wasn’t used to the randomly changing weather, how were you supposed to plan an outfit for the day if it started mildly sunny and ended in a thunderstorm? It was January! She had come prepared for snow, not rain, damn it.
From her table in the back corner of the cafe, hands wrapped around a mug and headphones blaring music, Julie people watched. Sure, she was supposed to be working on an essay, but she’d been there for half an hour already. She deserved a little break.
Even through her music she can hear the sounds of the cafe around her. Customers placing orders and rain on the windows and cups hitting tables and people laughing and it’s comforting. The sounds of life going on around her while she pretends to be doing work.
Pretends, because she’s been trying to work on this essay for a week now and getting nowhere with it.
When she’d signed up for the study abroad scheme her mind had been on experiencing a new country, on the places she could visit, the new friends she could make, the thoughtful looks she could escape.
She hadn’t thought much about the work she would have to do, the essays that would need to be written, the awkwardness of settling into a new place, the strangeness of hearing new accents.
The actual creative side of her course she found easy enough, but when it came to writing about her stylistic choices and her themes and her influences and how they all tied back with what they’d been reading about? She was drawing a blank.
Blowing on her drink, Julie let her eyes wander around the coffee shop. It was a fairly small place with an extensive collection of teas and fresh baked cakes and free wifi. She’d found it by mistake while looking for a music shop her first week in the city, they’d lured her in with carrot cake and coffee and she’d been coming back at least once a week ever since. A group of boys push through the door, shaking off hoods and laughing at something as they join the queue.
Something about them seemed vaguely familiar, like she’d seen them from a distance in a dark club, or scrolled past a group photo of them on her instagram suggested posts. Or maybe it was because they just looked like every other group of young adults she’d come across, both back home and in Liverpool. One thing she had learnt pretty quickly was that boys were the same everywhere.
She was saved from mulling it over by her phone vibrating on the table with a text, Carrie’s name popping up on the screen and Julie swapped her cup for her phone, a small smile already tugging at her lips as she read the series of texts on her screen.
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Julie’s attention is dragged away from her phone by something – someone – knocking into her table, sending her pen rolling off and her cup to shake. Pulling her headphones out of her ears she looks up as the culprits eyes widen, mouth pulling into a grimace as he stares at the coffee now running down the back of her jacket that had been happily sitting in the spare chair.
“Shit,” he mutters, already pulling a napkin out of his back pocket and dabbing at the mess. “I’m so sorry, I uh– wasn’t looking and the chair leg and fuck I’m so sorry about your jacket, can it be dry cleaned?”
And he looks so sincere in his apology, all wide sad eyes and words stumbling out too quickly and messy brown hair curling out from under a beanie and accent that sounds like home, that Julie swallows back the annoyed retort she had ready to go.
It was just an accident. Accidents happened. At least it wasn’t over her laptop. Blowing out a breath, Julie shakes her head at him once, pushing back her chair to inspect the damage.
“It’s fine, honestly. Don’t–” she pauses, holding up the denim on either side of the collar and frowning at the pretty large brown stain. “Worry about it.”
Can she wash it? She’s never tried, but well. She bites her lip as she looks at it, the stranger awkwardly standing just a short distance away with a wad of used napkins and his half spilt drink, and yeah, she definitely won't be able to wear it tonight.
“I’m so sorry.” He says again and someone must catch his attention over her shoulder because his eyes dart away from her, eyebrows shooting up and shrugging his shoulders and, it’s kinda cute. The way he seems to be hovering, unsure if she’s going to shout at him.
“Seriously, it’s fine. Accidents happen, right?” She shoots him a quick smile – though not missing the way his cheeks turn slightly pink – before turning back to her jacket, carefully laying it out on the chair to hopefully dry out enough for her to stuff it in her bag before she needs to leave. She really hopes it stops raining.
“I uh– shit I’m sorry. Again. I gotta–” He gestures to the door where Julie can see his friends waiting for him, barely contained grins on all their faces that has Julie rolling her eyes. Boys. She looks back at him, raising an eyebrow even as her lips tick up into a small smile, she’s rewarded by his cheeks going red, the hand still holding the napkins rubbing at the back of his neck and a stuttered ‘goodbye’.
Sitting back down, Julie rolls her eyes again, muttering under her breath about ‘annoying cute boys’ and ‘favourite jackets’. Leaning down to pick up her fallen pen with one hand while the other tapped out a reply to Carrie. An hour more of sitting here, attempting to do her essay and then she’d have to go if she wanted enough time to get ready.
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“So where are you?”
Julie couldn’t hear what was being said on the other side of the phone, but judging by the way Carrie was rolling her eyes the answer wasn’t correct. Flynn leans her head on Julie’s shoulder, their linked arms drawing them closer as they walk, it’s not the most comfortable way to walk, but they’ve already had a few drinks and Flynn gets a little clingy after one. Julie puts her head on top of Flynns as they stumble along cracked stone streets.
“She actually might end up killing Bobby at this rate,” Julie mutters and is rewarded with Flynn letting out a laugh that has Carrie looking over her shoulder at them, eyes softening for a moment before she’s rolling them again. If she hadn’t known the other girl as long as she had, Julie would be worried about permanent eye damage.
“Fucking hell. Okay. Yeah, okay we’ll be like, ten minutes then. Yeah, yeah, okay bye.”
Sliding her phone into her back pocket Carrie took a half step back so she was walking with them again, linking her arm on Flynns other side.
“They’re at the Cavern Club,” Carrie looks at Julie over the top of Flynn’s head and lets out a loud sigh, “I know. That’s where we were going to go anyway. They’re so annoying.”
But she says it in a fond sort of way. Like how you talk about your neighbour's dog that barks too early in the morning and wakes you up, but always runs over to say hello to you through the fence when you walk past and brightens up your day. Annoying, but sweet.
Julie’s only met Carrie’s cousin Bobby once, it had been a short ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ type interaction as he ran into Carrie’s house to pick up his bag and then run straight back out again.
She’s never met the other three members of the band at all, but she knows, after doing a little bit of internet searching, that their band isn’t half bad. They’ve got some pretty good songs and a small following that she is sure is bound to get bigger by the time they’ve finished being the opener for whoever they’re touring with and their first album is out in the world.
The three of them flash their id’s to the security on the door, slightly giddy smiles on all their faces even now, still not used to it all being legal for them to drink under the age of twenty-one. But the security guy doesn’t even blink and then they’re walking down a flight of stairs, the air getting warmer and the sound of drums and guitars reaching them.
Carrie grabs hold of Flynn's hand and Flynn grabs a hold of Julies and then they’re weaving through people and avoiding knocking drinks out of hands.
Her attention is pulled from the crowd to the stage at the back of the room, a band playing a cover of something she can’t name, they don’t sound too bad, and the part of her that used to fall in love with music every time she heard it wants to stop and listen. But that part of her is small and quiet and shy now, so she keeps her grip on Flynn’s hand and follows along.
Julie doesn’t know how Carrie knows where she’s going but all of a sudden they’re coming to a stop, her free hand reaching out to balance herself on Flynn’s shoulder even as a small part of her is still trying to work out what the song is.
Turning her eyes away from the stage she looks at the five boys sitting at the table, a collection of bottles scattered across the wood, and Julie smiles at Bobby who’s standing up to hug Carrie, opens her mouth to say hello before stopping. Her brows furrow as she locks eyes with a shaggy haired brunette who’s own eyes are widening in realisation.
“You!” She blurts out before she can stop herself, and if anyone asks she would blame it on the three drinks she had before leaving the dorms, detangling her fingers from Flynn’s to point at him. With the music blaring so loud only the boys still sat at the table and Flynn heard her, the latter turning to raise her brows while Julie can see the boys trying not to laugh.
“He’s the guy who spilt coffee on my jacket earlier,” she shouts over the music, hand gesturing wildly at the table and Flynn follows her hand, eyes resting on the culprit.
“That was her favourite jacket!” Flynn props one hand on her hip and almost glares at him, but it loses part of its ‘scare factor’ when she starts swaying a little in place to the music. Well, Julie thinks it should lose some of it’s scaring power, but the guy still looks kinda worried, so who’s Julie to know?
“I said I was sorry!” He puts his hands up, shoulder raising to almost his ears, and with his eyes already open so wide and his hair curling slightly at the ends, Julie has to wonder how much trouble that look has gotten him out of over the years.
“You guys have already met?” Bobby jumps into the conversation before Julie has a chance to reply and Carrie is looking between them, lips pursed.
“This is the girl whose jacket Luke ruined earlier,” the blonde one says and Julie vaguely recognises him as being one of the boys from the cafe.
“Dude,” Bobby raises his eyebrows at the jacket ruiner – Luke, Julie reminds herself – shaking his head in disappointment.
“It was an accident!” Luke turns his sad kicked puppy look on Bobby before looking back at Julie, his hands lowering but his eyes still drastically wide, “I really am sorry about it.”
Julie tries, she really does, to hold on to that small kindle of annoyance that she’d felt upon seeing him again. But well, the jacket is already ruined and she’s come out to avoid doing an essay and she’s finding it really hard to be mad at someone so cute. Blowing out a breath she shakes her head at him.
“It’s fine, I’ll forgive and forget the whole thing if you buy me a drink.”
“That I can do,” the furrow in his brows smooths out and his shoulders relax and suddenly there’s a smile spreading across his face that seems to light up his eyes.
“So, you’ve met Luke. That’s Reggie, he’s our bassist,” Bobby nods at the dark haired guy sitting next to Luke who grins and waves, and it’s such an infectiously happy wave that Julie can't help but wave back. “Alex, kickass drummer,” the blonde who spoke earlier ducks his head a little, an almost shy smile on his face as he nods at them, “And Willie. Officially he’s one of our roadies, unofficially he’s just here to hype us up and do cool tricks in empty arenas.” Willie, who’s sat pressed against Alex’s side, raises his hand in a wave.
“This is Julie and this is Flynn,” Carrie points at them each before claiming the seat next to Alex and looking at Luke, “We’ll take 3 vodka lemonades. Please.” She only adds the please on the end after Flynn sits next to her, nudging her elbow into her side, Julie notices with a smile.
There’s a moment of bodies moving as Luke gets up from his side of the table, pulling Bobby along with him towards the bar and Reggie is waving his hand at her, nodding at the empty space along the bench next to him that she slides into gratefully.
They can’t really see the stage set up from here, but the music is still just as loud and Julie starts nodding her head along to the beat, trying to focus on the conversation happening on the other side of the table. Something about Carrie’s group and choreography and convincing someone to add in a dance break to a song. She’s laughing at something Willie said when a glass is slid across the table in front of her, a bottle of something passing over her to Reggie and she looks up in time to see Luke sliding into the space next to her, a small smile on his face.
“Forgiven and forgotten?” He asks, eyebrow quirked as he lifts his own drink, tilting it towards her in invitation.
“Forgiven and forgotten,” she agrees picking her glass up and tapping it against his beer bottle, shooting him a smile of her own before chasing the straw of her drink to take a sip, trying hard not to blush at the intensity of his stare.
//
It’s two hours later, three drinks and a deeply regrettable shot later, happily on the precipice of truly drunk but hanging out in tipsy land, when Julie shakes her head at Luke who’s standing on the bench. Tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he writes on the curved brick of the ceiling.
“Dude no ones gonna be able to even read that!” Reggie complains from next to her, his eyes squinting as if it will help him to read their names better. It doesn’t, Julie’s already tried.
“Why did we let the one with the worst handwriting do this?” Alex tilts his head to look up at Luke, who waves the hand not holding the pen in his face, almost hitting him but missing by several inches to the left and it sets them all off giggling.
“Because the rest of you are cowards!” He wobbles a little as he shuffles his feet to change angle, and Julie reaches out on instinct to hold his leg, fingers wrapping around his calf as if it will stop him from falling. His head drops down to look at her, teeth biting his bottom lip as he smiles at her quickly before going back to the ceiling.
To leave his – their – mark on a legendary musical site. Luke's words, the rest of them hadn’t been able to talk him out of it so they’d gone right into encouraging.
“I think you’re getting cowards and idiots mixed up,” Carrie mutters, head propped up on her hands, elbows resting on the table. Well, Reggie and Julie and Willie had gone straight to encouraging, the others were still on teasing.
“Do you want your name added or not?” Luke grumbles but Julie can see his pen moving, going over the letters of what she assumes is meant to be Dirty Candi, and bites her cheek to not laugh.
“Don’t forget it’s an ‘i’ instead of ‘y’ for candy!” Flynn leans forward, eyes on the ceiling as she shouts up at him and Luke says something, but it’s too quiet for any of them to hear.
It isn’t until he moves to get off the bench that Julie realises she still has her hand wrapped around his calf, her fingers idly tapping along to the song some guy with a guitar is playing behind them. Heat fills her cheeks (that she’ll blame on how warm it is in the club and the alcohol in her system thank you very much) as she lets go, pulling her hand back into her lap, watching from the corner of her eye as he jumps down and back into his seat, a proud smile on his face.
“Now when we’re big and famous people can come and hunt our names down.”
“And finally realise that you have awful writing and question how any of our songs get written,” Bobby grins at him, elbow nudging his side which sends Luke leaning into her to try and avoid it, sliding along the bench until there’s no space between them, and she can’t find it in herself to be too mad about it. He smells like tequila and mint and aftershave all mixed together, not really a good combination, but one she finds herself liking anyway.
“Well why don’t you start writing the songs, huh?” Luke retorts, and starts a back and forth with Bobby, Alex chiming in and Flynn watching it all like a tennis match, and Juile tries to follow it, but all she can think about is how Luke hasn’t moved back. How his thigh is pressed against her leg and his arm is resting around her back, hand near her hip and how if she wanted to, she could rest her chin on his shoulder and kiss his neck.
Not that she wants to kiss his neck. Does she?
Julie furrows her brows, biting her lip as she examines those thoughts, tries to decide if it’s the alcohol or the music or her lack of sleep or if she just wants to kiss him.
Flynn says something and it makes him laugh, loud and bright and unrestrained, head thrown back and eyes closed. And yeah, she just wants to kiss him. Fuck.
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//
Reggie slings an arm around her shoulders, the other going over Flynns and tugging them together until their cheeks are all pushing together and Julie giggles, poking at his side with her partially trapped arm.
“What do we think chocolate tequila is like?” He asks, eyes glued to the chalkboard menu above them.
“Not as nice as the summer fruits one,” Julie says back, wrinkling her nose a little at the memory of when she’d tried it. If you liked chocolate, it was a bitter disappointment in her opinion. But she was also drunk enough now not to mind.
“Alex says we can’t get the coffee one. Thinks we’ll have a repeat of the red bull incident.” Luke appears on her other side, pushing his body into the small gap between her side and the next group of people. He’s stood so he’s facing her – them – and rests one arm on the counter top.
“Man he’s gotta get over that, it was one time,” Reggie mutters and Julie wants to ask what the ‘red bull incident’ is, but then Flynn is sliding three shot glasses towards them, salt and limes following, apparently having ordered without any of them noticing.
“We’re standing with mango!” Flynn shouts, shot already in one hand and salt on the other, clearly waiting for the three of them to catch up. Reggie lowers his arms and Julie can feel Luke’s hand brush past her arm as he moves to lick the back of his hand, she can feel herself flushing as she watches him do it. And is happy to note that he flushes just the same as he watches her lick her hand in turn.
Idly, Julie notices that Reggie counts them down, that Luke inclines his head at her before he lifts his shot to his lips, that Julie lifts her own, the liquid sliding down her throat with a slight burn that’s not eased at all by the lime she bites into. She squeezes her eyes shut against it and when she opens them sees Luke grinning at her, eyes full of something she can’t name but makes her want to blush again.
“Y’know what? Screw Alex, four of the coffee my good man!” Reggie shouts next to her, waving a hand at the bartender in front of them who just rolls their eyes but puts out four more shot glasses.
“Okay, you gotta tell us about the red bull incident,” Flynn finally asks what had been nibbling at the back of her mind from the moment Luke had spoken so she pulls her attention away from him and back to her friends as Reggie launches into his story that even grabs the attention of the bartender for a moment.
But Luke is a warm presence at her side, leaning into her space and breath ghosting against her neck as he chimes in the story. If she stepped back, just a little, she could lean her back against his chest. She wonders if he’d wrap an arm around her waist to hold her steady? Julie blinks and blows out a breath, raising an eyebrow as Reggie talks.
“Wait, how’d you get onto the roof?”
//
“So why Liverpool?” Luke asks, hands stuffed into the pockets of his coat as they aimlessly walk through almost empty streets, faint music coming from clubs and other drunk people giggling in doorways. The fresh air has helped a little to sober her up, but not enough for her to know where they’re going. But they’re following Carrie, who has a plan for the night and they’ve no option but to follow it.
Julie wraps one arm around herself, the other pushing hair over one shoulder as she thinks about it. There isn’t really a big fancy answer, no special reason for her choice, she shrugs at Luke, lips ticking up into a smile.
“It was the only place still with spots open,” she can see the slight confusion on his face and explains more, “I wasn’t going to take the study abroad year, but I changed majors and I needed to get away from home for a while. Carrie and Flynn had already signed up and the internet said the train didn’t take too long to get to Manchester or Glasgow.”
“You changed majors?”
Of all the things she’s said that hadn’t been the part she’d thought Luke would zone in on. It wasn’t really something she liked to talk about much, her fall away from music. She still loved it, still listened and wrote and sang, but the passion she’d once had, the magic she’d once felt whenever she sat at a piano? It had gone away. Had been gone for a long time. Had been gone for four years and she’d only been pretending she still felt the magic.
Everything she played or wrote was missing something and no one had seemed to notice but here.
It hadn’t been until one of her teachers in first year had pointed something out that Julie had finally confessed. And changed course and major the next week.
Everyone had tried to understand, had listened as she explained why she couldn’t do it. How her mom and music were so intertwined together in her head and her heart that it felt impossible to detangle them, to love and play music without always feeling like there was something missing. But she knew they didn’t really get it
So she’d signed up for the study abroad, and picked Liverpool because they had a good English Lit course and was close enough to her friends if she needed them. Okay, so maybe she’d lied a little, there was a fancy answer for why she’d moved, but picking Liverpool had just been random.
“Yup,” she pops the ‘p’ and glances ahead of them, where Willie has Alex clinging on to his back, running through a puddle and laughing loud and clear. She can’t help but smile at them, at the carefree way Willie spins around and Alex holds tighter, face red with whatever he’s trying to say between laughs. Luke must follow her gaze because he lets out a soft snort of laughter, and she can see him shake his head from the corner of her eye.
“I’d hate them if they weren’t so adorable together,” he muttered, but his gaze is soft as they both watch the couple; Willie lets Alex off his back and grabs hold of his hand before he had a chance to get too far away. They’re all soft eyes and teasing smiles and vibes that scream about being in love, you’d have to be blind not to see it. Julie looks away, feeling like she’s intruding on a private moment as they share a kiss.
“Tell me about the tour,” Julie says, drawing Lukes attention back to her and it’s the right thing to say because his face lights up with a smile that she’s sure is going to drive girls wild one day soon.
//
Julie nods along with the song blaring through the speakers, mouthing the words so herself as she scrolls through her phone, ignoring the press of bodies crowding the smoking area as best she can. From her spot near the wall, opposite the door, she can see Carrie and Willie and Alex dancing together, wide smiles and heads thrown back.
Flynn and Reggie are talking to a group of people off to the side and Julie can see the way Flynn has pulled her braids over one shoulder and is gesturing to Reggie every few words the way she does when she’s trying to hype someone up (she knows, from having been on the receiving end of it, many times). Bobby, standing with them, seems to find the whole thing hilarious, grinning around the cigarette hanging from his lips.
“Okay, favourite book?” Luke asks, leaning in close to be heard over the noise and if he doesn’t move back, well Julie’s not about to complain. The little space heaters on the wall don’t provide much warmth, and it’s January and she’s cold and someone ruined her jacket.
“Currently or of all time?” She asks, raising an eyebrow as she turns her head a little to look at him. Her heart stutters for a second at how close his face is to hers, she can see the small flecks of green in his eyes, can feel his breath ghost across her cheeks.
“Current,” he says and she can see as his eyes flicker down to her lips quickly before back up to her eyes and Julie really hopes she’s not blushing right now.
“Stardust. By Neil Gaiman. I’m reading it for one of my classes and it hits all the boxes for a fairytale.” She likes fairy tales, likes the idea of them, likes the message of true love and pure of heart and happily ever afters. This one just happened to involve lightning pirates which was a bonus. Okay, so maybe the lightning pirates were mostly a film detail, but still. “Favourite food?”
“There’s this little hole in the wall place down by the strip? They do the best cheeseburgers. If I could have one for every meal, I would.”
They’re still standing close together, eyes staring too intensely for a game of twenty questions and comments about cheeseburgers and Julie’s eyes flicker to his lips, can see the way they’re pulling up a little on one side. She wants to lean forwards, close the gap between them and press her lips against his. But then she shivers, shoulders hunching up around her ears as she rubs her bare arms, conscious of how close they’re sitting and how much she just kind of wants to steal his body heat.
“Are you cold?” He’s biting his lip, pulling back out of her personal space and Julie almost whines at the loss of contact and body heat and – well maybe she’s too drunk to be making smart choices right now if she’s five seconds away from whining.
“Well someone ruined my jacket,” she points out, eyebrows raised at him and is rewarded with his cheeks flushing and one hand rubbing at the back of his neck which she’s quickly coming to realise means he’s embarrassed or just a little flustered.
“I thought we’d agreed to forgive and forget about that?” He mumbles and before she can come up with a response Luke is standing up, shrugging his jacket off his shoulders and then he’s carefully draping it over her shoulders, fingers tapping lightly on her arm until she holds it out for him to slip through one arm hole, doing the same on the other side and then pulling her hair out from under the collar.
It’s too big on her, but the faux fur inside is soft on her skin and still warm from Luke and she can stick her thumbs through the little gaps created by the fastened buttons and if she turned her head a little she could smell his aftershave clinging to the collar. Julie can’t help the little smile that graces her face, rotating her shoulders to let the coat settle better on her body.
Looking up at him her brows furrow a little at the look on his face (if she wasn’t so drunk and giddy and tired she’d say it was something like awe but that made no sense. Why would Luke be looking at her in awe while she wore his jacket?), but it’s gone just as quickly as it appeared and he’s smiling at her, that wide smile from back at the start of the night when he’d handed her her drink and she’d tapped it against his.
“Thanks,” she tilts her head to the side, loose curls falling across her cheeks as she looks at him, a wide smile of her own and she opens her mouth to say something else – though she’s not sure what she’s going to say – when another voice cuts through and pops the little bubble they’ve created.
When did they even create their private conversation bubble? Julie doesn’t know, and from the way Luke’s head whips around to land on Flynn and Reggie and Bobby with wide eyes, he probably doesn’t know either. But it’s nice to know that he’d been enjoying their conversation as much as she had.
“We’re gonna get food, come on!”
//
“I wanted to be wrapped up in bed an hour ago,” Julie sighed but there’s no real annoyance in her tone as she hugs Luke’s jacket closed tight across her chest, shoulder brushing against his arm as they walk.
“But you also wanted pizza instead of McDonalds like everyone else.” And Luke has a point but she still pulls a face, sticking her tongue out at him and getting a laugh in return. She couldn’t even be annoyed at it, he had a nice laugh.
Plus, when she’d said she wanted pizza Luke was the only one who’d wanted to come with her, the rest of their friends going back to their hotels. He’d walked all the way to the takeaway with her, shared half of his chips and then started walking her back to her dorm, insisting on carrying her half eaten pizza too. It was all very sweet and kind and not helping her not want to kiss him.
“Where’s your first stop?” She asks, because he was about to start a tour and she had school and maybe if they were both back home they might have been able to give something a go, but they weren’t and Julie wasn’t really a one night stand kind of person.
“We’re heading up to Newcastle on Sunday to kick it all off,” there was a slight bounce in his step, his excitement almost palpable and Julie could tell that this was all he’d ever wanted. To play music to as many people as he could. A small part of her remembered what that was like, to want to share your songs with the world.
“Sing something!” She pulled him to a stop in the middle of the street, bouncing a little on the balls on her feet and grinning at him. Because she was still a little drunk and she missed feeling excited about playing music and here was this sweet charming guy who loved it so much and felt it with everything he had and Julie wanted to be like that again too. She wanted to think about music without it being tinged with sadness.
“What?” He laughed, eyes a little wide and glassy and with his hair looking more wild then it had when they’d started the night, but Julie was pretty sure she looked the same so she didn’t comment.
“Sing! Anything! Please?” Julie tried pouting at him, doing her best impression of Carlos and his puppy dog eyes and something about it must have worked because Luke huffs out a laugh as he looks at her, biting his lip in thought for a moment before he nods his head for them to keep walking before he starts singing.
His voice is a little rough, from screaming lyrics in the clubs and shouting to be heard in the bars, and his words are a little slurred because he’s a little drunk and a lot tired, but Julie’s sober enough to decide it’s one of the best versions of Mamma Mia she’s ever heard. As he gets to the first chorus she joins in.
They were just two slightly drunk young adults, singing in the street and if nothing else comes of his night she’ll always have this memory of unadulterated joy.
“You can sing,” he whispers and now it’s Luke’s turn to pull her to a stop with a hand on her arm and a look of wonder on his face. Julie shrugs a little and can feel her cheeks heating, but she keeps their eye contact and smiles at him.
“Only drunk in the streets.” Which is more true then he’ll ever know.
Luke opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off by pointing over his shoulder at the building behind them.
“This is me.” She’s not sure what to do now, take her pizza and run? That seems a little rude, and unsafe. Julie’s not sure she can actually run in these shoes without falling. Luke looks over his shoulder quickly before looking back at her, blowing out a breath and nodding.
“Right, right.” He seems just as unsure as she is about what to do now, which makes Julie feel a little better about it.
“I should–”
“Can I–”
They both start at the same time and then Julie is laughing and Luke is huffing out a breath while a smile grows on his face. The only thing between them is a pizza box and she doesn’t miss the way his eyes keep flickering down to her lips.
“I can’t kiss you!” She blurts out, a hand quickly going up to cover her mouth and Luke’s eyes widen, taking a half step back, retracting his hand like he’d been burnt.
“That wasn’t– I– this–” Luke started stuttering, face going red and Julie quickly shook her head at him.
“That came out wrong! Fuck. I–” She curled her hands into fists at her sides, squeezing her eyes shut before opening them, “I want to kiss you, but I can’t.”
The shock on his face had softened at the start of her sentence only to morph into confusion at the end.
“You’re gonna have to explain this to me, Molina.” Luke still looks confused, but he’s still standing in front of her and that’s enough for her.
“I like you,” she dips her head as she says it, because Julie’s pretty sure she could really like him if given the chance, “but I’m no good at one night...things and you’re about to go on a tour and I’m stuck here and I just, I think– I think I’d like us to be friends. I think we could be really good friends actually.”
Because they’d only spent a few hours together and she’d laughed and smiled more in that time then she had in awhile. Luke was sweet and funny and had something to say about every song the DJ picked to play but sang along anyway. Which is why she doesn’t want to risk a friendship for one night in bed. The confusion on Luke’s face turns into understanding and the soft, slightly sad smile that he gives her tells Julie that she’s right. A friendship with him would be better than one really fun night.
“I get it,” and he carefully puts his hand back on her arm, squeezing slightly before pulling away. “And, for the record, I’m not very good at one night things either.”
Her heart beat sounds loud in her ears and it takes Julie a moment to refocus her thoughts. Friendship. No kissing. Friendship.
“Well, maybe if we can keep a friendship going until we next see each other we can try this moment again,” she waves her hand around them with a small laugh. They could probably keep a friendship going long distance, but Julie isn’t so sure that they’ll ever get a moment like this again.
“Deal,” Luke grins down at her and pulls his phone out of his back pocket and unlocks it, Julie raises her eyebrows at him when he holds it out for her, “In order to keep in touch we’re gonna need to exchange numbers.”
“You make a point,” she agrees, putting in her information and handing it back to him in exchange for her pizza box. “Text me when you get back to your hotel, okay? So I know you didn’t get lost.”
“Yes, boss.” His smile is a little teasing now and Julie shakes her head at him as she brushes past him to walk into her dorm. She’s half way across the road when stops in her tracks to turn back at him.
“Wait, I’m still wearing your jacket.” Julie stars to shrug the item off when Luke shakes his head, already starting to walking backwards down the street.
“No, keep it!” He shouts with a smile, “Means we’ll have a reason to see each other again and have another go at this.”
Julie just shakes her head at him with a laugh, watching as he walks away before tightening her grip on the box and finally making it into her dorm. She’s still got an essay to write and a pile of laundry to put away and magic in music is still missing, but she’s gotten herself a new jacket and a friend who she thinks could make her life a little brighter. So she’ll forgive and forget that she's home an hour later than promised.
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