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crave-mp3 · 1 year

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I LOVE BEING ARO SO MUCH!!!!!! I WILL NEVER FEEL ROMANTIC ATTRACTION AND THATS BEAUTIFUL AND NATURAL AND SOMETHING I WILL WIELD AS A WEAPON AND A SHIELD AGAINST ANYONE WHO WOULD CHANGE ME OR ERASE ME!!!!!! REALIZING I AM ARO WAS ONE OF THE MOST JOYFUL AND FREEING AND ILLUMINATING EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY EXUBERANCE AT LIVING WITHOUT THE NARROW SOCIETAL IDEA OF "LOVE" KNOWS NO BOUNDS AND I SEE BEAUTY IN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! MY LIFE OVERFLOWS WITH JOYFUL ABUNDANCE!!!!!!!! I AM BURSTING FOR AFFECTION WITH EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE "ALONE" (I WILL NEVER BE LONELY) BECAUSE I WILL MAKE FOR MYSELF A LIFE THAT SINGS AND SHINES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE LIVING A LOVELESS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THE SELF RELIANCE OF MY HAPPINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM INFINITE AND BOUNDLESS AND DEFY DESCRIPTION OR CATEGORIZATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM AROMANTIC!!!!!!!! ALL IS JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IS LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i see a lot of posts about aro grief and ive been there. believe me ive so been there.#BUT!!!!!! we need to talk about aro joy too!!!!!!#living a joyful life regardless of expectations is THE most important thing we can do!!!! both for the aro community and for ourselves #as complete and whole people!!!!!!#+ by expectations i mean both amatonormativity and the weird sort of...... defeatist mentality i see a lot of ppl in the community voicing #our lives are a triump!!!!! a rebellion of joy!!!!!!! living the happiest life you can is your victory!!!!!#and you show others (especially young others + aro or not) that you don't need romance to be completed or happy!!!!!!#aro joy as a mission aro joy as a mantra aro joy as reaching out #this is deffo ok 2 rb but just before anyone starts being all 'not every aro on the face of planet feels the exact same way u do'#i wrote this about ME. ok?#i would love it if ppl wanna rb/add tho bc like i said. we need more aro joy!!!!!#vic.txt #aro #aromantic #arospec #aspec #alloaro #aroallo #aroace #lovequeer #amatopunk

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acesincomics · 1 year

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First looks at Gwenpool in Marvel’s Voices: Pride 2023!

For Marvel’s annual Pride anthology, Gwenpool will star in the story “Everything’s Coming Up Aces”, by aroace creator Marieke Nijkamp, Pablo Collar, and Michael Wiggam.

Yes, that is Gwenpool wearing an aromantic asexual flag! We love to see it!

“I love Gwen for her wonderful meta chaos, and getting to write an aroace super hero as an aroace writer is truly magical. These are the types of stories that make readers feel seen, and it's more important than ever to have such an amazing celebration of proudly queer and trans heroes and unflinching joy!” -Marieke Nijkamp

Gwenpool is also featured in this Marvel’s Voices: Pride variant cover by Jan Bazaldua & Tamra Bonvillain.

Marvel’s Voices: Pride is out June 14th.

Get your preorders in by the FOC, tomorrow 4/30!

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angryaromantics · 2 years

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I feel like I have a fundamental disagreement with how a lot of people view being inclusive.

To a lot of people, inclusive means using language that includes everyone, all the time. I'm thinking about the breadth of the aro community here, and how some positivity posts about certain parts of the spectrum could actually feel alienating to other people.

Loveless aros aren't going to have the same needs as queerplatonic partnering people, or aplatonic people, or lovecore people, etc etc.

It's near impossible to be consistently including the entirety of the aro community when discussing aromantic issues, and if that's the basis by which you're judging inclusiveness, you're going to be spending more time policing language than you are finding your place in the community.

To me, inclusiveness should be about more of us feeling comfortable sharing our experiences--finding the overlap and the differences and celebrating them both. We're never going to get very far if we spend all our time feeling excluded and never move past it to put our own voices out there.

#koko thinkin thots #aromantic #aro #I've just been thinking about how some people seem to care more about finding fault in the language people use rather than the point #theyre trying to get across #and it's gonna make our community pretty monochrome if people are too afraid to voice their thoughts without eloquence #we should be giving each other the benefit of the doubt

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alecvolturi · 8 months

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Volturi Kings ASMR Audio: You’re in the library reading (falling asleep on a couch) while the kings work nearby.

Headphones recommend.

Demetri & Felix ASMR is here.

Enjoy!

#Y E A HHHHHHHHHH #THIS TOOK LIKE 5 HOURS TO POST #THE SCREAM I LET OUT WHEN I SAW IT FINALLY WENT #original #twilight #the twilight saga #twilight saga #caius volturi #aro volturi #Marcus volturi #Ai voice #my edit #my edits #video #the volturi #volturi #Tag talk #audio

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rolaplayor101 · 2 months

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So I've just read your post "A Silent Voice Aspec Analysis" and I am so happy but I wanted to ask is...how exactly is Shoya from OAA rep? Could you direct me to all instances which made you think that he is? Thank you in advance!

9/13/22

So it’s been a year and a half since I got this ask and I’m only now answering it— I think about this ask a lot, and it’s not that I don’t want to answer it, it’s that I was waiting for the right time. I wanted to answer it during either asexual awareness week or Arospec awareness week last year or even the year before, but either because I forgot or because I procrastinated it, I never got to it. Now it's ASAW 2024, and I have finally decided to lay down and write this essay, so here we go:

There’s a few points I want to discuss, but in respect for the reader’s time, I will lay them all out right here as a tl;dr before I write them all out thoroughly.

Shoya shows himself to be both repulsed by romance and sexuality as soon as it is pointed towards him. This presents itself in his dialogue, his facial expressions, and his thoughts throughout A Silent Voice.

Shoya often is seen blushing in most instances, whether he’s with Shoko or not, of if he’s embarrassed or upset or neutral. With this point, I think it’s poignant to say he has rosacea.

Shoya himself says multiple times that he is not interested in Shoko, who is his main concern for all of the manga.

The way other characters in A Silent Voice show attraction is completely different from anything Shoya ever does.

The movie changes certain aspects of the manga to get the overall point across and stick to the most important plot lines. One of the things that it changes is literally all the scenes where the other characters assume Shoya likes Shoko romantically, unless it specifically pertains to Shoko’s side of the story, the character who DOES have romantic feelings in this pair for the other.

Shoya shows his immense dislike for romance and sex a variety of times, as aforementioned, but does seem to enjoy physical, sensual touch, including holding hands, and, secondly, the only time he feels jealousy in reference to other people's relationships is not when he thinks Shoko is dating someone, but when he sees her getting closer platonically with other people(Sahara).

The entire story is about Shoya trying to redeem himself for past deeds, and learning what friendship is. Romance only ever ties in when it’s related to other people that aren’t him.

This might have to be split into multiple posts because I have a lot of manga panels to use as reference. First, let’s start at the beginning. On the very first page of chapter one, we are immediately met by Shoya experiencing allonormativity and looking extremely annoyed. As soon as he hears the word “boyfriend” he is amiss, as is implied by the boldness of the word boyfriend. He immediately informs them that he’s not her boyfriend, with a sweating face, and balling in on himself, a thing he does multiple times to show he’s uncomfortable and anxious, while also always having the four little blush marks under his eyes as a character design choice, not a proof of attraction.

In fact, one of the first things we learn about Shoya is that he doesn’t like girls, next to the fact that he’s not supposed to jump into the River, he doesn’t like his mom’s nickname for him, and that he has a sister whose boyfriend sucks, because he can’t “play with them”. Crushing on one doesn’t even cross his mind, but it does for everyone else he interacts with in his class:

“isn’t that great, Ishida?” Naoka asks in response to learning that the new transfer student is a girl.

“Huh? I don’t give a crap!!” He replies, his expression one of genuine confusion and annoyance, with his eyebrows furrowed downwards and his pupils small, mouth low on his face without a hint of a smile or blush.

Shortly after we have a montage of him bullying Shoko along with his friends, we are met with his first instance of romance repulsion at a young age:

Amongst being touched— holding hands with a girl— he does not blush or smile, neither does flowers appear around him in thematic fashion of romantic attraction; instead, he looks angry, his brows furrowing, even the lines of rosacea on his face disappearing to show him paling in disgust. The next panel with his face shows him grimacing, a shadow falling over his eyes and bags appearing under his eyes with sweat pouring down his face. He is not enjoying the physical touch from her. Finally, as he whips his arm away, a blush appears on his face, but only as he hears his friends behind him laughing at him. He’s embarrassed and angry. We get the second bout of amatonormativity from his friends:

He’s blushing, but not from attraction, like his friends joke, but in embarrassment. The next scene shows Ishida saying a word that appears over and over from here on, and the dialogue is, “she’s creepin’ me out” as he walks away with Kazu and Hirose. We will get back to that.

This is only the beginning of Shoya’s journey through navigating allonormativity and deconstructing what friendship means to him. His “friends” aren’t good ones, for sure, and this comes up as a theme throughout. In fact, the allonormativity keeps on even til the end, but I’ll expand on that later, as well. Skip only a 20 pages later, and you’ll see this little scene:

Here, Shoya actively reveals his repulsion towards romance once again by even just being around a place where people go on dates often, and gets angry and upset. Now, it is a common trope for children in tv to hate romance and be seen to grow out of it, as if it’s childish to see it as disgusting and unlikeable, but, in Shoya’s case, even as time passes, he continues to share these feelings, although more quietly, with his elementary school self. Even here, when he’s all scratched up, you can see the blush on his face when he notices Shoko seeing him, but again, this blush, in context, doesn’t seem to be one of attraction, but of embarrassment. In context, he’d just been pushed around by his ex-friends, and chastised by his mom, and has now been seen kicking a wall. There’s no romantic tension or reasoning to this scene for it to be a blush of romantic attraction on his face.

Time skip to him in his teen years, senior year, in chapter 5:

He’s being a bit dramatic by the end, but even so, in the beginning, it’s obvious that his thoughts are his own. In the ten year anniversary edition, his dialogue is, “And you butt-ugly bastards, stop talking about dating. It makes me sick.” This change in dialogue leaves out the “it doesn’t suit you” which can change the connotation a little bit. It changes the meaning from, “You acting like you can date the way you are is creepy” to “just talking about romance at all is gross to me”. And then, sexually, it’s also the same. It’s not only romance, but sex that also creeps him out. “That goes for you too.” (These are also taken out of the movie, because it’s once again not relevant, and also makes Shoya more palpable as a character you can be sorry for. His comments here do sound a lot like endorsing rape culture in a victim blaming kind of way). Then there’s this little nugget a few pages after:

“Apparently, there are some things in this world you just can’t attain. The moment I realized that, my future became clear.”

One of the noticeable things he “can’t attain” is a girl or boy to be in a relationship with in high school. That, or if you look at it in things he can’t be a part of, like, say, being in the class photo, or getting into college, or being In a group of friends, or having a full head of hair, etc., it’s also possible to view the scene of him walking past the couple as him not being able to avoid seeing couples, as all the other things he is actively working towards or interacting with/looking at. As in, “I won’t be able to be in the class photo, I won’t be able to avoid couples, I won’t be able to go to college, I won’t be able to make friends”, or, “I won’t be able to be in a relationship” whether that being because no one wants him or because he himself doesn’t want to be in one despite everyone else in school wanting it so badly, due to the allonormativity he’s experienced convincing him that’s the case.

After this scene, we are back in media rez, where he just denied being her boyfriend. In that context, he just the other day thought about romance being something he either can’t attain because he doesn’t want it, or can’t get it, and when these aunties call him Shoko’s boyfriend, he shows a rather plain disgust and discomfort with it, implying that it’s something he doesn’t want, instead of can’t get.

Then we get this legendary scene: ”Nishimiya…could you…and me..be friends?”

He has a blush here that is unlike the usual four lines we see on his cheeks under his eyes; this one is further into his cheekbones, and it's not from anger or embarrassment, but rather from a shyness. And this shyness doesn’t come from romantic feelings, but for platonic feelings. His words inform the expression, that he wants a friendship with her. And then this happens:

His expression changes instantly. It’s not necessarily one of disgust, but of panic, of discomfort. He’s still blushing, but he’s sweating now, just like before, in elementary school, and he can also hear the ladies in the back making comments just like his friends from before. He’s not angry, as his brows are raised instead of furrowed, but he’s deeply unsettled.

In this next set of panels, Shoko notices the ladies and pulls away, and Shoya’s face is a bit different and more comical. He’s still sweating and blushing, but his mouth is open wider as if to say something, and his hand is limp. When she pulls back. There’s a spark that’s closer to her than it is to him, which I think symbolizes a sudden awareness on her part rather than his. He also looks a bit happier that she let go, with only one sweat drop on his face instead of multiple. His brows are also more relaxed, and his mouth jaw is closing slightly. This is presumably how Shoko is seeing him in this moment.

And when someone interrupts, presumably one of the women who were laughing at him, he gets all stiff again and his blush mostly disappears. Then the panels start being viewed from either Shoya’s side or from his perspective again. Fast forward to when they’re feeding bread to fish a few minutes later.

He blushes at the thought that he’s having a normal friendly conversation with Shoko, the girl he used to hate, not just “a girl” or “a person my age that’s a girl for the first time since I hit puberty”. He’s not blushing at a romantic encounter or moment, but that he’s making a friend, he’s nervous that he has zits in his face, not because he thinks she’s pretty or something like that, that doesn’t even cross his mind, but that he can have a positive relationship with someone who isn't in his family or someone he works with. And someone he ruthlessly bullied five or six years ago.

Another example of his Asexuality comes right after this, when they both jump into the water under the bridge to rescue Shoko’s old notebook. He accidentally looks up and sees her skirt lifted, but he immediately closes his eye and looks down again without a blush on his face, and immediately focuses back in on finding the notebook without even a moment to get his bearings. It doesn’t bother him at all.

sorry about the bad quality, i had to take this picture for the sake of time instead of finding it online.

The next chapter features the biggest theme of the entire manga and anime besides redemption:

This is brought up again once Shoya meets Yuzuru, who wants to keep him away from Shoko. Yuzuru asks, “Are you really her friend?” And it brings about this entire thought process for Shoya, again and again, in the series. And then he meets Nagatsuka:

This is an example of my second point: Shoya’s blushing. A lot of “evidence” people give for Shoya liking Shoko is that he blushes around her a lot. This is a false equivalence, for Shoya blushes all the time and for anyone and any reason. Here, Nagatsuka does something extraordinarily nice to him for no reason, and he blushes, his confusion evident in the furrow of his brow and him asking, “Why’d you do all that for me?” In the 10th anniversary edition. Nagatsuka’s friendship from here on causes him to blush just as much as Shoko, and it doesn’t stop there. Later in the series when he befriends Miki, he’s also seen blushing around her, and not only that, but there are symbols seen around characters all the time to forward the notion of different points of view within a panel.

Image 1: Blush blush blush~ all of this at the notion of friendship, a complete turn around from whenever anyone mentions romance or sex around him. He’s forming connections with people for the first time since middle school, or even elementary school, to further Point 7. His need for platonic relationships greatly overshadows any hint of romance that is ever brought up, especially with Shoko.

Image 2: Miki sees herself as cute, which is why the bubbles appear around her, signaling a slight pov change. Shoya himself never shows any interest in Miki, nor Miki for him, and it especially shows in this scene with his expression and his thoughts not at all aiming towards her. And when Miki says Mashiba is handsome, a particularly aesthetic, romantic, or sexual form of attraction, this is something Shoya doesn’t even notice; yet, when she says Mashiba wants to be his friend, his eyes go wide with sudden interest. His disinterest towards romance and sex also take into account men, as well.

Image 3: once again, Miki has bubbles around her, but this is not Shoya’s pov until the next panel. This is a good example of background and environmental symbolism not necessarily reflecting on Shoya’s own thoughts and feelings, but those around him.

If we go to the movie, in image 1, this scene is shown with Shoya and Nagatsuka doing a secret handshake, which has a lingering touch between them that doesn’t make Shoya uncomfortable like Shoko’s attempt at handshakes/handholding does, and it’s in the midst of a conversation about friendship, in contrast to how the ladies from sign class assumed it to be a romantic thing with Shoko and Shoya. And speaking of, shortly after image 1, we run into them again:

Once again, the blush appears, but his brows furrow and he has a frown on his face that shows his discomfort, along with the sweat. He runs away because he’s embarrassed, not because there’s any truth to what they’re saying. This bring us again to point 3: Shoya points out multiple times that he does not like Shoko romantically. For the sake of convenience, I’ll add the rest of the times that he does this, and the chapters, to show that he doesn’t change his mind even by the end of the manga.

chapter 15

Chapter 20 (genuine confusion, doesn’t see it as romantic in the slightest, regular rosacea blush on his face. Pure amatonormativity and relationship hierarchy)

chapter 21

chapter 40 (this one needs further explaining but I’ll do it in the next post)

chapter 41

chapter 61 (til the very end, the literal second to last chapter, his friend is being allonormative while he’s perfectly happy and blushing at his friendship with Shoko. His expression holds a seriousness that implies it’s not a joke on his part, as well as the excited look he has as he gets an answer to the question)

Since I can only post 30 picture at a time on tumblr, I’ll stop the post right here and finish on a reblog some day. Yes, I know about the interviews with the author, and yes, I’ll supply those in due time as well.

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aroaceinaerospace · 4 months

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since it's the start of a new year and I'm a bookworm, I figured I'd share some of the aspec books I read in 2023. I've added any of the big content warnings I can think of as well as a link to the books on storygraph where there are more in depth content warnings.

Fiction:

Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt follows the titular character Wren Martin during senior year of high school as he becomes student council president and fights his vice president to try and get the school's Valentine's Day dance shut down. Wren is very much an externally grumpy person who becomes much more loveable as you get to know him and see the reasoning behind his grumpiness. Rep includes asexual main character and an aromantic side character, and note this book is a romance.

Is Love The Answer by Uta Isaki is a coming of age manga following Chika as she tries to find the answer to who she is and explores her identity. This book is full of aro and ace rep with different life experiences. CW for aphobia and attempted SA.

Just Lizzie by Karen Wilfred is a middle grade book following Lizzie in how a science class assignment helped lead her to an understanding of her asexuality. At the same time, Lizzie is having to adjust to a new home and changes in what was once familiar and safe. CW for aphobia, harassment.

Non-fiction:

*note: these books cover some triggering topics in different parts of them, including racism, SA, aphobia, and more

Ace and Aro Journeys by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) is a really great overview of aspec identities, it gives more time to aro identities than a lot of other books, and provides quotes and information from people on various parts of the spectrums. This book brings in some intersectionality, though it is more broad than a deep dive.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J. Brown, which has been my favorite read. This book is fantastic if you're ready for a deep dive into intersectionality and some deeper history on asexuality. This book, despite being very short, is a much heavier read content-wise, but it is very thought provoking and will stick with you. Each chapter gives you content warnings up front for the materials that will be addressed in the chapter. Personally, this book has been my favorite book on the subject and I intend on reading it many more times to capture more of the nuance.

#aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #if you have any recommendations pleaaaaase let me know #i have also read ace by Angela chen; lets talk about love by claire kann; loveless by alice oseman; every heart a doorway by seanan mcguire #gender queer by maia kobabe; the murderbot diaries (some people count it idk that i do); aces wild by amanda dewitt #paper planes by jennie wood; sounds fake but okay; the charm offensive and kiss her once for me by alison cochrun #i am ace by cody Daigle-Orians; elatsoe by darcie little badger; a quick & easy guide to asexuality; and ace notes by Michele Kirichanskaya #i currently have ace voices and being ace on my tbr for this year but am always open to suggestions

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poppysplace-edits · 8 months

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aroallo lesbian jerafina tabouli icons! the colors look so good with her design <3 ftu w/ credit

#use your voice flower hero #flower chatter #icons #pride icons #lesbian #aromantic lesbian #aro #aromantic #sfm game #smile for me game #smile for me #jerafina tabouli

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angryaromantics · 2 years

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I identified as aroace before the big aphobia Tumblr boom. I was on a discord server about it. I made friends. And then, I deleted Tumblr, deleted discord, and moved hard and fast away from it all.

When I realized I was a lesbian, when I felt a strong connection with someone, I convinced myself for literal years that I wasn't aromantic. And I believed it!!! I believed so Strongly that I wasn't aromantic, and that hurt both me, and the person I felt a strong connection to.

And like, I'm always gonna wonder, would any of that have happened if aphobia wasn't the big boom on Tumblr? How much of that reaction was about how confusing attraction is, and how much of it was me being afraid and closeted and not recognizing it?

That whole era of Tumblr was extremely detrimental to so many of us, and it lingers, to this day!!!! So, it's a little hurtful how heavily it's been swept under the rug by allos who no longer pull that shit. Not even mentioned the ones that still do.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I guess I'm just so happy to be here, and to have had such a heavily positive experience this second time around. Sure, I still get some bad anons, and condescending comments, but they're so overshadowed by the care and the understanding of the aromantic community that it's barely a blip on my radar.

I'm glad this community has reformed as well as it has. I'm glad so many people feel comfortable enough to talk about aromantic content. I'm glad we have each other. 🌿🌻

#koko thinkin thots #aromantic #aro #actually aro #actually aromantic #aphobia #sentimental on the aro blog again!!!!#Jane if you see this i still think of you Fondly and my era of grocery shopping on voice calls with you

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