#as far as i know no one is vaccinated either
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I don't know how possible it is for revolution to happen when America exists. You've seen enough posts by Americans to know they are incapable of having their own revolution, and you know enough history that America will stamp out communism wherever it takes place. I don't like that and I wish it wasn't the case, but that's the reality of the situation.
Okay but for real:
Usamericans do have a real tendency to not have consistently revolutionary ideas, but you gotta remember that we are extremely overexposed to a certain slice of the usamerican population. Not only is the country very overrepresented on the internet, but we also (here) only encounter the set of usamericans who use tumblr. I don't think that usamericans are particularly incapable of revolutionary ideas when compared to other places in the imperial core (they are obviously much worse when compared to non-imperialist countries)
Capitalism within a country will eventually be weakened by whatever thing that occurs, and the same is true for the international system of imperialist capitalism. Yes, the CIA is dedicated to the task of impeding communist revolutions, but they aren't particularly adept at it. In many cases in south america, failed attempts were able to be sabotaged because of a weakness in the revolutionaries, weaknesses which we learn from. For example, Allende's assassination taught us that, even if power is reached through parliamentarism, it is not enough to rid the country of capitalist elements able to sabotage us.
But, my friend, just like we aren't perfect, they aren't either. The CIA was unable to crush the Cuban revolution because the Cubans took enough preemptive measures, because they didn't lower their guard, because the CIA was particularly inept at some attempts, like the Bay of Pigs fiasco, and because of external circumstances like the eventual appearance of soviet nuclear missiles which made intervention much trickier. This did come at the cost of less of Cuba's resources being invested into development.
We will have our defeats, and they will have theirs. Ours will be at greater numbers, but theirs will be colossal and much more difficult to correct. No economic system is eternal, feudalism was the main form of production for a good millennia, and it all went crashing down. Capitalism will do the same, and so will socialism one day give way to a communist society.
Now that we are approaching yet another 1st of May, the international workers' day, I encourage the reader to think how far we've come from the very first one in 1889 and the second international. How much progress workers worldwide have made, both achieving more and more respect in our respective capitalist countries (the first May Day was called as a worldwide demand for the 8 hour workday!) and in creating our own workers' states. Just in China, hundreds of millions of people were lifted from their illiterate and miserable peasant's lives, at the mercy of warlords for hundreds if not thousands of years, through the efficiency of socialism. Thomas Sankara vaccinated millions of children, ended generalized illiteracy, ended genital mutilation and kicked out the french colonizers in just 4 years.
It is very understandable to sometimes fall into defeatism at the face of a seemingly infinite mechanism of oppression. But we have to remember all of those who defeated it locally, and the many more who tried against all odds. I don't know you, friend, but I'm confident when I say that you and me are the descendants of workers, and we are workers ourselves. You and I struggle for a better world free of exploitation of man by man, even for the extremely annoying shitlibs we encounter here. Do not be consumed by the constant arguing and negativity found in social media, the real fight is with our Parties, organizing our own class whether it's through the union, the Party, or any other organization. I don't know about you, but this blog is just an outlet for being a long-winded marxist unable to write a simple sentence, I spend even more time interacting with my comrades and with unpoliticized students. Social media (especially tumblr) will never be a real avenue for change beyond what spreading awareness and occasional education can do.
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News
My flock has contracted Marek's Disease.
Since 2019, after I brought home Lyra and Wren, my flock has been a closed flock. Meaning I take biosecurity very seriously, and opted to not bring any new chickens in or allow other poultry-keepers access to the yard where they are kept. The only birds that were added from 2019 until now have been from hatching eggs. There are a select few diseases that can pass from mother to egg, but not Marek's.
But within the past few weeks one chicken displayed symptoms of leg weakness and became unable to walk. I brought them indoors and started treating for vitamin deficiency, since that is by far the most common cause of sudden lameness in poultry. But she didn't get better, and then Lyra started walking unsteadily, and I knew something else was wrong. I suspected something was wrong with my feed and sent off a sample to get tested for mycotoxins, and switched feeds, because I know a lot of people have had issues with that lately. But then one morning I found Moss deceased in the coop, and it all kind of went downhill from there.
Sebrights are known for having extremely low resistance to disease. They are very inbred. It is the reason I lost Kip to fowl pox when everyone else recovered fine. And why all but one (her unnamed cockerel "emo" son) of the members of my flock who are descended from Lyra are affected. But none of the other tiny breeds I have, Seramas or Kikirkis, are known for being particularly disease resistant either. So. I am extremely cautious at jumping the gun and saying they wont be effected.
I sent off Moss's body for a necropsy on monday and got the results today, September 29th.
I do not know how this got into my flock. Our nextdoor neighbor got chickens a few months ago, but our birds don't have any direct contact. That is the only way I can think of.
There is a vaccine but it can only be administered to day old chicks. Vaccinating to prevent this was not an option.
It generally takes 4-10 weeks for the disease to develop after the chicken has been exposed, so it had to have been fairly recent. My flock has not been carrying this sub-clinically.
I genuinely don't know how this is going to go from here. There is no treatment for marek's disease. It is a virus. I have ordered a few herbal remedies with vague studies to back up some kind of efficacy helping reduce the damage the virus does and boost their immunity, but its mostly a crapshoot. The only good news I have with all this is that older birds are somewhat less likely to succumb to this disease. And the fact turkies and pigeons can't contract it.
The only birds displaying symptoms right now are Lyra, and Moss's unnamed pullet daughter.
Lyra is tentatively okay. I have crafted a sling for her, and she has been increasing in mobility over the last few days. She did not ever have full paralysis, so I am hopeful. Her daughter and Mouse, one of the younger keep-back pullets from this summers chicks, are the only casualties so far.
I'll be doing all that I can in terms of supportive care, but if any symptomatic birds get to the point I don't think they will recover from I will be euthanizing them. I will not be selling chickens anymore.
This disease has been a nightmare of mine for such a long time and now it is really happening. I am pretty crushed.
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since everyone in public health is dead at the wheel, you should know: monkeypox has a r0 value of about 2 (omicron BA2 and measles are both near 12, which is about the maximum we know of, until we get clearer data on BA4/5 next month).
r0 value is number of likely infections per patient, so that also means monkeypox infections will likely double until it reaches peak infection. this could be a million people by the end of the year because it is 400 now (in the US).
it is aerosol and fomite transmissible. fomite viral particles survive in the environment for two months.
vaccination is currently available only for confirmed cases, and we will likely only be able to produce a million doses by end of year. they will likely not be distributed to the most at-risk people. this will likely not be enough to prevent widespread infection. i might recommend seeking testing in absence of symptoms, to catch any asymptomatic infections.
anyone born before 1980 is likely to already be vaccinated for it (smallpox vaccination seems to remain 85% effective with no waning, although the new vaccine recommended is jynneos and healthcare providers are hesistant to offer the older vaccine because it scars the injection site). if you're 40+ it might be a good time to get into volunteer outreach or hospice care.
it may have a fatality rate between 1-10%, more likely 1-3%, this is affected by factors like overall immune vulnerability, nutrition, and heatlh. severe progression is characterized by nausea, dizziness, shortness of breath, and other systematic-failure indicators. the virus had already mutated substantially by the time it was detected, so this may be an indicator that there are far more unknown, mild cases (i.e. bringing the fatality rate down substatially, one would hope.)
it is distinguishable from chickenpox because the sores progress at the same rate, while in chickenpox each sore may be at different stages. any healthcare provider or sexual health clinic will likely be able to test for both. now is not the time to ignore symptoms. petechiae are also a post-covid associated sequala, i believe they also progress at different rates like chickenpox but i'm not sure if there's a clear clinical definition of covid sores yet. it's also possible these represent undetected pox cases. it was likely circulating as early as april.
monkeypox infection may cause as a few as one sore, which scabs and then peels. debridement or exfoliation is not recommended, precisely because viral particles can survive for two months, although it's believed to stop being transmissible after the first layer of skin heals. vitamin A is recommended during recovery, ideally from nutritionally dense foods.
chickenpox can also cause facial paralysis. hepatitis-associated liver failure in children has been essentially confirmed as a post-covid sequela (adenovirus was ruled out as a cause of hepatitis, if you heard about that, although it is also still endemic). dysentery, cholera, and polio are back. between 10-30% of covid patients are now likely immunocompromised from long covid, although severe cases are less than 10%.
our failure to manage this has damaged the collective immune imprint, things that used to be rare or eradicated can now gain a foothold much more easily. this will keep happening until we end capitalism, we didn't have to live with influenza or salmonella either, and they make bank off the 1.3m deaths of heart disease and cancer every year too.
correct me if i'm wrong but i'm pretty sure everything except that last part is stated in this PDF. also had to look up the r0 value separately, i don't think that's in there
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Never Say Never
Chapter 11
Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader
Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.
No posting schedule.
18+ only for eventual smut
Word Count: 9.4K
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Three hours later found you sitting in the passenger seat of Steve’s car, wondering if doing this together was a good idea. After you managed to get some actual baking done, your counter littered with trays of sweet treats, you'd realized what time it was. Steve announced that the two of you should go get the kids. Like this was a normal occurrence, the two of you picking up your children from school together. Like you wouldn’t be making some epic statement to the world when you exited the same car at Hawkins Elementary.
What would Eli think when he came out of school to find both you and Steve waiting for him? How would he feel riding home from school in Steve’s car? Who were you kidding? Your son would be ecstatic. He’d get to spend more time with Jeremiah, which was always a good thing in his book. And wasn’t this exactly what the boys had been pushing for? The two of you together?
Were you together? It should be obvious after what had gone down in your kitchen. But was it? It was fairly obvious to you that Steve had been around the block a few times. From the way he and his friends talked he was no stranger to relationships. Did sex mean anything more to him than just a good time? Did you want it to mean more? As much as you liked him, what in the hell had you just gotten yourself into? It felt like you'd just bypassed far too many steps and were stumbling into what could be dangerous territory. Shouldn’t there have been some conversation about what you were to each other, declarations of love or something before you got all carnal with each other?
You had no idea. You were really bad at this. You and Justin hadn’t slept together until the night he’d told you he loved you and you'd said it back. There had only been three guys prior to him and only one of them had been a one night stand, a drunken mistake your freshman year of college. Was that what this had been? A one night stand? Or, actually, a one morning stand since it hadn’t even been noon when it began? Or was Steve thinking you were now officially a couple? Jesus, you needed to talk about it but this would be a really bad time now. You couldn’t have this discussion with the kids around.
Why hadn’t you said anything in the kitchen? It wasn’t like the two of you had been silent. You'd talked as you baked but it was all meaningless stuff. Steve filled you in on the new project his company was working on. You told him about the helicopter mom that had been in the office yesterday, standing over your shoulder as you'd administered vaccinations. He’d been touchy, kissing the back of your neck as he transferred baked goods to the oven for you or placing his hands on your hips, watching over your shoulder as you tried to show him how to properly measure ingredients. The guy had no idea what he was doing. He was used to seasoning to his heart’s content. You had to explain that baking was like chemistry. It had to be exact. But not once had either of you addressed what had just happened or what it meant.
“Anyway, you don’t have to if you don’t want to but I know Jere would love it. And I would love it too but I don’t want to put too much pressure on you. I know this thing has just started, really.”
This thing? What thing? The two of you? Was it a thing? Were you the thing? Had it started? And what did that mean? Was he your boyfriend now? And what had he even been saying? Were you having the exact conversation you were thinking about and you were missing it? Your inner monologue had just interrupted him and now you had no idea what Steve was asking you.
“I am so sorry. I kind of missed all of that. I was stuck in my head. What were you asking me?”
“We’re having Jere’s birthday party next weekend. It’s at my ex’s place. It will basically be all the people you met at my house plus my ex, her husband, and her parents. Anyway, Jere really wanted Eli to come so I promised I would ask. Nance and Jonathan hired some guy that dresses up like Batman so he knows he’s coming and he said Eli would be so mad at him if he didn’t get to meet Batman too.”
“Your ex’s house?” you asked, that one detail the only thing you could focus on out of everything he’d just said.
You'd gone on one date, somehow bypassed the appropriate amount of time before sleeping together considering he’d just ravished you on your damn kitchen counter, and now he wanted you to meet his ex-wife? To be introduced as his…what? His son’s friend’s mom? His friend? His girlfriend? What was happening right now?
Your fingers wrapped around the handle of the car door, squeezing tightly. Inhale. Exhale. You were not about to have an anxiety attack in his car. You were not going to do this right now. You had control of yourself and your body. This was insane. Why couldn’t you just respond to stress like most people? Why did the slightest things always set you off? You hated it. You hated that you couldn’t just handle the normal ups and downs of life anymore.
“Yeah. Look, I know it sounds weird but I promise you it won’t be. Nance is great and she’s dying to meet you.”
“Dying to meet me?”
“Yeah. I mean, Jere told her about you so she asked and then I told her about us going out.”
That explained it. The ex wanted to size up the new woman who was in his life, the new woman who was in her son’s life. You couldn’t blame her for that. If you were in her shoes, you would probably feel the same way. You'd want to know who was hanging around your son. Maybe she thought this was all too fast. Maybe she was pissed because he hadn’t talked to her about it first. Maybe you should have met her beforehand?
But how could you have? This all began because you were trying to set up a playdate for your son, not one for yourself. You'd had no intentions of dating Steve, not at first. It just kind of happened. There was no way to go about this the proper way when it hadn’t been planned. But was she going to hate you? To see you as some woman who was sneaking in behind her back and trying to take her place?
“Look, you don’t have to come if it makes you uncomfortable. I knew it would be a hard ask. But if you don’t mind, I can always pick up Eli and take him myself. Jere would be shattered if his best friend wasn’t there.”
“No. Uh…I’ll go,” you stammered, swallowing down the tension that was filling your throat, choking you slowly. Why were you agreeing to this? Because you just couldn’t say no to that face, those hazel eyes, golden in the afternoon light that were looking at you with so much hope.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” You turned your head toward him, offering up the best smile you could muster. You might live to regret it but it would make your son happy and Steve really seemed to want you there. “Eli will be so excited.”
“Great. It’s at three. I would offer to pick you up but I told her I would help with setting up. You know, him being my kid too and all. I’ll give you her address.”
“Great.”
Steve pulled into the school parking lot, sliding into a space. You stepped out and walked to the front of the car, waiting for him to join you. You were pleasantly surprised when he took your hand in his as if it was just something you did, the two of you making your way up to school. He wanted you to come to his son’s birthday party and he was showing a display of affection in front of everyone at school. Maybe this was more than just hooking up. Maybe the two of you were a thing now. Your stomach both fluttered with joy and rolled with nerves at the thought.
You could feel the eyes following you and could practically hear the whispers that would be flying around like wildfire at the sight of the two of you. Not only showing up at parent pick-up together but holding hands. Whatever. It didn’t matter really. The rumor mill had already started churning from the moment you had left the baseball game together so let them talk. At least now what they were saying was actually true.
The doors swung open, kindergarten releasing first followed by first grade. Little feet racing across the concrete into waiting arms, squeals of joy that the school day was over and they were going home to bike rides and basketball hoops in backyards. You caught sight of your son, right next to Jeremiah, where he always was, the two boys talking and laughing. His eyes fell on you, moved over to Steve, and then went directly down to where your hands were clasped. Him and Jeremiah shared a wide-eyed look and then they both yelled out loud, fists pumping in the air.
“I think they’re happy. What do you think?” questioned Steve with a grin.
You laughed, “I would definitely say they’re happy.”
The boys ran over to you, both yelling, talking so fast it was difficult to catch what they were saying. They kept it up the whole walk back to the car, barely waiting for the car to start before questioning their parents.
“So are you guys like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” asked Jeremiah, leaning between you.
“Put your seatbelt on,” Steve stated.
“But are you?” he asked again, sitting back and buckling in.
“Yeah. Are we all going to live together now?” piped in Eli.
“Oh, that would be so cool! Are you getting married?”
“Do I call you daddy?”
It was happening again. You sunk down into your seat, eyes focusing on the numbers on the clock, the pine tree shaped air freshener hanging from the mirror, the sunglasses clipped on the visor above Steve’s head. You closed your eyes. Sounds…you couldn’t focus on sounds, nothing could be heard over the myriad of questions the boys were spewing out in the back.
Then a warm pressure landed on your knee. Fingers pressing into the jean material, centering you, keeping you still while inside you felt like you were losing control. You inhaled through your nose, exhaled through your mouth, focusing on Steve’s fingers, the warmth and pressure, the comfort it provided.
“You good?” he asked when you slowly opened your eyes and you nodded. You were. Somehow you were. “Alright. Let’s calm down a bit, okay? Eli's mom and I are just getting to know each other. We like each other and we would like to spend more time together and keep doing that. But no one is moving in anytime soon and no one is getting married anytime soon. Okay?”
His eyes darted to the rearview mirror and both boys nodded. He squeezed your knee again reassuringly.
“But we might be spending even more time together than we have been. Would that be okay?”
“Yeah!” both kids yelled enthusiastically.
“Alright. How about we start with tonight? I need to help your mom box up all the goodies we baked today for the school carnival on Saturday. How about after we’re done with that we go to the diner to grab some burgers and then we can come back and play some games, all four of us? Sound good?”
“Can I get a milkshake too?” asked Jeremiah.
“Oh yeah. What’s your favorite flavor?”
“Let’s both say it on three!”
“Okay,” Eli agreed as both boys turned to each other, counting before exclaiming at the same time, “Strawberry!”
Steve chuckled, turning those beautiful eyes on you, “That okay with you?”
“Yeah,” you replied, pressing your lips together. “That would be nice.”
“Good because I’m not ready to stop looking at this face yet.” He winked and your heart stuttered.
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“Rita, can you schedule Tyler for a follow-up in two weeks?” you inquired as you walked Tyler and his mom to the front, turning to the mother. “Dr. Wilson just wants to make sure it’s a respiratory infection and not asthma. He’ll listen to his lungs again to make sure they’re clear after using the breathing treatments and corticosteroids. As long as everything sounds clear, then he should be all set.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Of course.” Leaning forward, you ruffled the six year old’s hair. “We’ll have you back out on the soccer field in no time. Just make sure you take it easy for a couple weeks, okay?”
“Okay,” he grumbled.
You smirked, amused, because you knew if it were Eli he’d be the same way. There was nothing worse than trying to keep a little kid from being active. Your son would be devastated if he found out he couldn’t play baseball or run around at recess or don his cape and race around the backyard for a couple weeks.
Kids. They just didn’t understand. You would give anything for someone to order you to take it easy for a couple weeks. You'd catch up on the books that were piled in your bedroom, the ones you couldn’t seem to stop buying but never seemed to get to. You'd watch all the movies that you hadn’t had time to go see in the theater. You'd take long bubble baths and afternoon naps.
But barring some crazy illness, that was not in the cards for you. And you couldn’t afford a crazy illness, certainly not one that would knock you down for a couple weeks. Not with the school carnival tomorrow, Eli’s game on Sunday, and the impending promise of your parents showing up for a visit.
Your eyes wandered over the appointment list, seeing that you didn’t have another patient for an hour but your mind was anywhere but. Your mind had been anywhere but where it should have been all day. You should have been focusing on test results, examinations, immunizations, medical histories, and charting. Instead it somehow kept finding its way back to your kitchen yesterday afternoon.
What in the hell had you been thinking? That was precisely the problem. You hadn’t been thinking. Your brain had completely shut off and your body had taken over. You were like some teenage girl completely controlled by your hormones and your urges. He’d just looked so damn good and then he was kissing you and he was all you could think about, the only thing you could feel. And you'd wanted more.
Right now, standing here, in the middle of the office, you wanted more. You wanted to get in your car, drive to his home, and have a repeat performance. It might have been a mistake but damn if it wasn’t one that would be worth repeating, if for no other reason than you were damn near positive that you would never feel like that again with anyone else. What was even more terrifying was that you didn’t want to. He was all you could think about and feeling this intensely this quickly was unsettling because it would make losing him all that much harder if it happened.
Was it Steve? Was he just that amazing at sex? His fingers and tongue had done things to you that made you forget your own name. He was definitely skilled. But was it as simple as that? Was it the combination of the two of you? It sure as hell felt so. It felt like you just fit, like his body had been carved to mold perfectly against yours, all your curves and edges lining up.
“Hey girl!”
You shrieked, jumping about a foot in the air, your arm lashing out and knocking a cup of pens off the counter and onto the floor. Grumbling, you bent down to grab them, glancing up to find Janice grinning at you, eyes wide.
“Sorry. What’s got you so jumpy?”
“Nothing. I…it’s nothing,” you muttered, setting the cup down, plopping the pens back inside. “What are you doing here?”
“I brought lunch,” your friend stated, holding up a brown paper bag and a cup holder with two coffees. “June made us two of her phenomenal turkey and pesto sandwiches on sourdough.”
“Okay…” you said, the word dragging out suspiciously. “And why exactly did you bring me lunch?”
“Does a bestie have to have a reason to do something nice for her favorite person on the planet? Also, do I have to have a reason to want to have lunch with you?”
“I guess not.”
“So, are you free?”
“Yeah, actually. I just looked and my next patient isn’t scheduled for another hour.”
“Did you want to head to your little spot by the pond?”
“Sure.”
You followed Janice, who bounced on the balls of her feet, only furthering your suspicions that this wasn’t just her wanting to have lunch with her best friend. The girl definitely had an agenda and whatever it was, she was pretty anxious about it if the bounce in her step was any indication. She bopped over to the bench, you joining her, as she pulled out two sandwiches wrapped in brown paper, offering one to you.
“Thank you,” you said, taking a long drink of your iced coffee. “I needed this pick-me-up today. My morning caffeine hit is quickly wearing off.” Unwrapping your sandwich, you took a bite. “God, this is so good. I didn’t even realize how hungry I was until now.” You both ate in silence for a couple minutes, the only sound little groans of pleasure. June’s talent did not stop at a good cup of coffee. She knew how to make one perfect sandwich as well. “So what? Just needed a little break in your day?”
“Not exactly…” Janice began, pressing her lips together. She looked up at you, her lips pressed together in a nervous smile. “I’m pregnant.”
“What!?” Your arms flew out, the last few bits of the bread scattering off of your lap. Oh well. The ducks would definitely enjoy it. “Are you serious? When? How long have you known?”
“About two hours,” she said, mouth tight. “I just took the test this morning after Matt left for work.”
“What? Does he know?”
“No. You’re the first person I’ve told.”
“Janice…oh my god! I’m so…I’m so happy for you!” You pulled your friend into a hug, joy feeling like a balloon, filling you up until you could absolutely burst with it. “But, you told me first? I mean, you are planning on telling him, right?”
“Yes. I am. But I was just so nervous. I’ve been feeling a little nauseous and at first I just thought I’d caught a bug. But then I realized my period was a week late and it’s so early. I know it is. I probably shouldn’t have even told you because the chances of something going wrong are so drastically high right now…”
“Nothing is going to go wrong,” you assured her.
“You can’t promise that.”
“No. I guess I can’t and maybe you wait until the second trimester to announce it to the world but you can’t wait that long to tell your husband. Matt is going to be so excited. The two of you have been trying for months. He’s going to be a dad, Janice.”
“I know! Trust me, I know. It’s just…he wants this so much and what if I tell him and we’re all excited and we’re picking out names and then something happens? I’m thirty-two and Holly is the same age as me and she had a miscarriage. I don’t want…”
You winced, remembering that emotional phone call you'd received just six months ago. Holly, your mutual friend from college, lived in California now, having moved there when her husband got a job transfer, but she still stayed in touch. Weekly phone calls, cards for special occasions, and she’d even flown in last summer to spend a week with you. A glorious week where you had taken vacation time and you'd all lounged at the lake, eaten far too much junk food, and stayed up half the night laughing and talking as you shared a bottle of wine. It had made you feel like you were twenty again, just starting life, optimistic about what was to come, not a care in the world.
“Okay, yeah. That’s always a possibility but you can’t assume that. It had nothing to do with her age. Don’t you remember Stacy? We were only twenty-one and she had a miscarriage and that girl was the epitome of physical fitness. She ran track and watched everything she put in her mouth. She couldn’t have been healthier. Sometimes there’s no rhyme nor reason to it and it’s not fair but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. Let yourself be happy. This is a happy occasion. If you don’t want to share it with everyone for a while, then fine, but you have to share this with Matt. The two of you deserve to be in your own little bubble of bliss.”
“I know. I know you’re right. I just…I don’t know. I saw those two pink lines on that stick and at first, I was so excited. I screamed and I jumped up and down. I almost hopped in my car and drove straight to his work to tell him. But then all these doubts started creeping in and I just couldn’t. I freaked out and so I did what I always do when I freak out.” She paused, smiling, her shoulder lifting in a slight shrug as her hand covered yours. “I ran to you.”
“Well, while it is a tough job to always be the one to try to lead you back to the shallows when you jump off the deep end, it’s not a job I would ever trust to anyone else,” you told her, wrapping your fingers around your friend’s hand, squeezing gently. “And oh my God, Janice! You’re having a baby!”
“I’m having a baby!” she cried and the two of you collapsed into a hug, weeping and laughing and shrieking. “You’re going to be an aunt!”
“Eli is going to freak when he finds out.”
Janice raked her teeth over her bottom lip, “Can we not tell him just yet?”
“Of course,” you assured her. “Of course. We can absolutely wait until you’re ready. Besides, you and Matt definitely have to be the ones to tell him this news. He’s always wanted a younger sibling and I don’t see that happening so maybe he’ll settle for this.”
Janice shifted, one eyebrow raising, “I don’t know. There’s still a possibility.”
“Oh please,” you snorted with a dry laugh. “I’m widowed and in my thirties. Justin and I…I mean we talked about trying for another baby but then he was gone. I would have loved to give Eli a sibling but I really don’t think that’s in the cards.”
“Never say never,” your friend sang. “You have a new guy in your life. You’re not ancient. You’re sitting there telling me my age is fine for being pregnant so why couldn’t you do it?”
“Janice, Steve and I barely know each other. We’ve gone on one date.”
“Well, you know my argument on this. The two of you have spent far more time together than that. Besides, I think we can safely count it as two now. He was at your house yesterday baking.”
“That was baking. We were just getting stuff ready for the school carnival.”
Your face flushed with heat, your gaze dropping to your lap, thumbs twirling tightly around one another. It was far more than just baking but did it count as a date? Probably not. A mistake? Absolutely. Steve had been with quite a few women if rumors were to be believed and now you'd just lumped yourself in with the rest of them. So much for making him wait or keeping him interested. He already knew everything you had to offer.
“Still, you were alone and…why’s your face all red?”
“What? My face is not red,” you protested, sucking down a massive gulp of iced coffee, willing the cool drink to also cool your flesh and stop giving you away.
“You are too! You’re redder than a boiled lobster.”
“We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. You’re pregnant! We’re very excited about that.”
“Like hell we’re not talking about you. Don’t you try to change the subject. I mentioned baking and you got all flustered. The two of you, alone in your house, no kids around…you had sex, didn’t you!?”
“What!? I…no…I…”
“Girl, don’t bullshit me,” Janice warned, one perfectly manicured finger just an inch from your nose. “We’ve been friends for fourteen years. I know you better than anybody. You had sex, didn’t you?”
You groaned, your body sagging against the bench, “Yes.”
“Holy shit! Holy shit! I knew it! Oh my god, this is amazing. How was it? Where was it? Who initiated it? Does he look just as good underneath those clothes? Is he hung? Details! I need all the details!”
“Jesus Christ, do we really have to do this?”
“Yes we have to do this. My friend got well and truly fucked for the first time in over two years. I need to know everything.”
“But you don’t. It was…”
“Oh god. What’s wrong with him?” Janice cringed. “Is he a minute man? Was he one of those guys who thinks penetration is enough to get you there? Does he have a micro penis? Oh Jesus. He has a micro penis, doesn’t he? Guys like that, they always look like they’ll be hung but then they’re not. But it’s okay. We can work with it.”
“No! God. It…it just shouldn’t have even happened. It was a huge mistake. I don’t know what I was thinking. That was the problem! I wasn’t thinking. I just…god, I wanted him so badly. I haven’t had sex in forever and I lost all control and then it was happening and there was no stopping it once it started and now he’s going to think I’m easy and he’s not even going to be interested. And now there’s all these feelings that wouldn’t have been there if I would have just kept my damn legs shut and if it doesn’t work out it’s going to be even more devastating. I’m terrified of what another heartbreak will do to me when I’m already hanging on by a thread most days. And it was so good and it shouldn’t have been that good. I shouldn’t be craving him the way I am right now. I can’t stop thinking about him and then that makes me feel awful because it feels like I am just completely abandoning Justin. I’m just moving on as if he didn’t matter. I shouldn't even be able to feel like this about someone else.”
“Whoa!” Janice held both hands up in front of her body. “Alright. Take a deep breath for me.” She inhaled slowly, gesturing for you to join her. After you did, Janice smiled. “Okay. That’s a lot of shit to unpack. So, let’s take it a step at a time, okay? So what if you already slept with him? Are you stuck on some archaic three date rule or something? You guys don’t fall into that category because you’ve been spending time together for a few weeks already. So, forget that. Steve is not going to think you’re easy. Honey, you’ve been the Virgin Mary since Justin passed away. It was inevitable that your self-control was going to snap. And around a man that looks like that, who could blame you? As for the feelings, feelings aren’t a bad thing and you can kid yourself all you want but sex isn’t changing the fact that you were already in deep for that man.” She pointed to herself. “Person who knows you best, remember? I know every expression that crosses your face, every little gesture you make, every emotion that you wear painted right across your sleeve. You’ve been in deep for that man from the moment you saw him on the baseball field. I could see it the first time you talked about him. So, that ship has long since sailed. If this all ends, you’re going to be just as devastated whether you opened your legs or not so you may as well have fun with it. I will throw your own words right back at you. You can’t control the future so be happy. You deserve it and as far as Justin, stop it. Stop obsessing about what he would think. He’s not here, honey. You’re not cheating on him. You’re not forgetting him. If you were, you wouldn’t be obsessing about how he would feel. He would be pissed, absolutely, if he were alive but he’s not. You wouldn’t be doing this if he were alive so that’s inconsequential. And the only thing he ever wanted, the only thing that ever mattered to him, was that you and Eli were happy and taken care of. Justin would love Steve because from what you’ve told me, he’s amazing to both of you. So, stop it. Okay? Get out of your head and enjoy this. Something amazing is happening here. Be in your own little bliss bubble.”
“I really like him,” you admitted.
“Well, duh,” laughed Janice.
“It terrifies me. He’s amazing. I mean, he shouldn’t be real. He’s gorgeous. He’s kind. He’s attentive. He listens. I mean, he really listens to everything I say. He’s respectful, always making sure I am okay with what’s happening before it happens. He makes me laugh. He is a wonderful father and just a wonderful human. He’s so self-sacrificing, always putting everyone else before himself. I think…I think I might be falling for him and that’s insane. We barely know each other. Isn’t that insane?”
Janice shrugged, “Is it? I mean, there’s no timeline for this kind of stuff. There’s no manual on how to feel about something. We can’t control it. I knew I loved Matt on our fourth date. I don’t know. I just knew he was it for me. I didn’t say it then, of course. I was scared he would think I was crazy and I would chase him away. But he said it after we’d been together for six weeks and so I said it too. And look at us. Look at you and Justin. How long did it take you to say the L word?”
“Two months. He took me ice skating. I fell and took him with me and he just grabbed my face and told me he loved me. And I don’t know. I just knew I felt the same way. I think I actually knew it for longer than that but I didn’t say it.”
“So, do you love Steve?”
“I don’t know,” you groaned. “That’s a really big word for something that’s barely begun.”
“Babe, you’ve been about as intimate as two people can be. And you all hang out like you’re a little family already. I don’t think it’s as big of a word as you think. Or, it is a big word, but I don’t think it’s too big to describe what’s happening.”
“Maybe…I…I just don’t know. I know I really like him. I know that I can’t stop thinking about him. I know that I am counting down the hours until he picks us up tomorrow for the carnival because I just want to see his face.”
“Sure sounds like it to me,” Janice grinned. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. No one’s saying you have to say anything or define anything right now. Just stop obsessing and let yourself enjoy this because it’s pretty damn cool. You, my friend, are in the midst of a love story, a sequel if you will to your first one. Just enjoy the ride.”
“I’ll try,” you assured her, dropping your head on her shoulder. “Now, how soon am I allowed to start shopping for my niece or nephew?”
“Oh lord,” she chucked. “You’re going to spoil this kid rotten, aren’t you? I guess I deserve that for all the shit I’ve bought for Eli over the years.”
“Absolutely.”
___________________________________________________________
“Four hot dogs with everything and a popcorn please,” the jovial dad announced as he stepped forward in line.
“You got it. Would you like anything to drink?”
He glanced over at his wife, the two conversing over their drink options. Their kids, a boy in third grade and a girl in fourth, chimed in, making sure their preferences were known. It quickly turned into the kids whining and huffing when their parents settled on waters, denying their request for a Coke and an icee.
The icee machine was something that Laurie was very proud of procuring for the school carnival. Apparently, she convinced Sal, who ran the gas station in the middle of town to allow them to borrow his for the evening. You were pretty sure Sal was just the next in a long line of men that Laurie strung along, flirting shamelessly to get what she wanted from them. Poor guys. They didn’t realize they would be receiving nothing in return until they were in too deep.
Steve loaded up the hot dogs, handing them off to you so you could hand them to the family. You reached into the cooler to grab their bottles of water while he scooped out popcorn, loading it into the red and white striped boxes that were customary at every concession stand.
You smiled as you watched your son and his friends race past, their faces covered in paint. Tina had kindly offered to keep an eye on them while Steve and you fulfilled your hour at the concession stand. You took the money the dad offered, telling them to have fun, watching as Eli stepped forward to try his luck at the duck pond. His little face lit up when he turned his duck over to reveal a number. The guy offered him a tiny rubber finger alligator and he couldn’t have been more pleased, immediately placing it on his finger and roaring as he shoved it in Jeremiah’s face. The boys thought this was hysterical, all of them breaking into a fit of laughter.
“They’re sure enjoying themselves.”
You jumped at Steve’s words spoken right in your ear. You tilted your head to find him, one arm propped on the counter, his lips just a breath from yours. The smile he gave you was as soft and familiar as a pillow, the one you even had to take on vacation because it was molded to your shape.
“Hi,” he whispered.
“Hi.” You laughed, the sound hoarse and breathy as you tried to get your bearings. His presence invading your space sent you entirely off kilter like a planet knocked from its orbit, floating haphazardly in the vast nothingness of space.
“We’ve been working back here for thirty minutes together and have barely talked.” His fingers walked across the counter to cover your hand with his own. “You’ve been kind of quiet.”
“No. No, I haven’t. We’ve just been busy.”
His head tilted, lips pouting in that way that just made you want to kiss them right off his face. One eyebrow lifted, those hazel eyes reaching straight through you and into your soul, as if he could read you like the pages of a book. The thought, while comforting, was also a bit unsettling. You weren't sure how to feel about him being able to see you so clearly after such a short time.
Had you been quiet? Probably. Your brain was a bit occupied with everything that had occurred in the last forty-eight hours of your life. You'd not only gone on a date with Steve but crossed the line into sex. What did it mean? Were you a couple now? Were you still just getting to know each other like he’d told the boys? Did he still look at you the same way even though you'd been so willing to be intimate with him so quickly?
You were spinning out a bit. Your talk with Janice had helped some but you hadn’t done this in years. You had no idea how to deal with the bevy of emotions that were twisting you into a knot. You couldn’t stop thinking about him. A simple touch and you were like a sixteen year old girl, hormones raging, on the verge of losing control, ready to grab him and smash your lips to his in front of all these damn people.
“Is that it?” he mused, forehead tilting down, almost close enough for yours to touch. “I know we haven’t really talked about what happened on Thursday but I’d like to. I wanted to…”
“Help has arrived!” came a high pitched sing-song voice and you moved your head around Steve to see the source. It was Janet Comstock, one of your least favorite people on the planet. And judging from the look on Steve’s face, she didn’t rank very high for him either. “Looks like you two have been pretty busy.”
“Janet? I thought your shift didn’t start for another thirty minutes. You and Ryan are supposed to do the next one together,” Steve stated, straightening and turning. He leaned back against the counter, arms crossed, staring her down like she was a misbehaving child.
“Oh, it doesn’t but I figured you two could use the help when I saw how people just kept lining up.”
“I think we’re alright,” protested Steve.
“Nonsense. It never hurts to have more hands, right?” she beamed and then snorted, rolling her eyes. “You know, if you fill up the popcorn boxes in advance then you don’t have to waste time when people order them. Much more efficient. See? You need me.”
“Like a hole in the head,” he muttered, teeth clenched tightly, only you hearing his words.
“Oh, hi there." She smiled at you as if she'd just noticed you standing there. "I didn't realize you were volunteering." Bullshit. She'd been at the meeting. "How have you been?” Janet breezed, donning a pair of latex gloves in preparation to scoop up popcorn.
“Okay…” you replied slowly, growing more confused by the minute. You weren't a fan of Janet either but Steve seemed to be extremely put off by her presence.
“That’s good. I’m so glad to see you doing better,” she continued as she scooped. “We were all so worried about you for a while. No one ever saw you. I swear, you became a hermit after everything. Not that I blame you. Justin was perfect, wasn’t he? You had every woman in town jealous. If only we all could find our soulmate but alas, we’re not so lucky. I mean, when there’s only one person who’s really meant to be yours, what are the chances of you finding them in this great big world?”
“I…I mean, yeah, I was lucky to have Justin. He was an amazing man,” you said awkwardly, unsure of what was happening.
Steve was like a statue next to you, standing rigid, his jaw so hard you were sure it could cut through six inch glass. This was the most uncomfortable situation you'd ever been in. You would never pretend like Justin wasn’t one of the best things to happen to you but you really didn’t want to talk about that in front of Steve. But Janet couldn’t know that, right? People may have made assumptions about the two of you but they didn’t actually know what had happened.
“Oh, he was,” crooned Janet. “Strong, kind, and so romantic. I remember when he had all those roses delivered to the doctor’s office for you. I had taken Sally in for an ear infection and they were everywhere, completely covering the counter. Poor Rita could barely see.” She laughed. “The way you two would look at each other, it was like something out of one of them cheesy romance movies. The kind you think are completely fake because nothing like that could ever actually exist. But you two showed us all it could. You must miss him terribly. It must be awful knowing you can never find anything that could come close to that again. But at least you had it for a while, right? Some of us never do.”
“Yeah. I…I…did…” you stammered, your fingers wrapping around the counter so tightly they were tingling, on the verge of going numb. What was this? Why was Janet saying all of this?
You were struck with the need to get out of there, to be anywhere else but here, talking about your perfect love that you no longer had in front of the guy you were hoping to find it with again. To find something with again. The muscle in Steve’s jaw jumped, his nostrils flaring. He was angry.
Was he angry because you were talking about Justin? He knew. He knew you'd been married, knew you'd lost your husband, knew you had loved him very much. Was he not capable of handling this? Of knowing that you'd had a great love before? Justin was never going to be erased from your life. Eli was proof of that. You would forever have a piece of him and if Steve couldn’t handle that then this whole thing might be over before it had even begun.
Janet turned with a sad smile, sighing deeply, her plastic covered hands coming to her chest, “I thought I had that.” Her eyes moved over to Steve and it felt like a ten pound stone had just dropped in your stomach. “I really did but some people are just too scared to let true love in, to see what’s right in front of their face. They keep running to the wrong thing instead of embracing the right one.”
Oh god. Janet. It all came rushing back. That day on Steve’s deck, the girls all talking about this woman he’d dated. Janet, the one he almost had to get a restraining order against. The one who had become obsessed with him. And now it all made sense. Now you could see why Janet was going on and on about Justin. She was trying to make Steve see that you were all wrong for him. Was he thinking that too?
You lifted your fingers from the underside of the counter, curling them one by one, focusing on the feel of the smooth stainless steel. Your eyes zeroed in on the popcorn boxes, the familiar red and white stripes. You needed to get out of here before it happened again. It could not happen here, not in front of Janet, not in front of half the town. You would never live it down. The news of you breaking down at the school carnival would be everywhere before everyone’s heads hit the pillow tonight.
“You know, since you showed up early, how about you help Steve for a bit? I’m going to go check on the boys,” you said, pushing off from the counter, inhaling slowly through your nose.
“Wait. What?” Steve had been zapped from wherever his mind had just been taking him. “No. I…we only have twenty minutes left…I…”
“No, really. It’s silly for all three of us to be back here when it really only takes two. I’ll go relieve Tracy.”
You walked off before he had a chance to respond, not trusting yourself to spend one more minute in the midst of that tension and animosity. You could not hear Justin’s name come out of that woman’s mouth one more time. You could not watch Steve grow angrier each time he came up. You marched out, on the hunt for your son, ready to lose yourself in the chaos of the carnival instead of the chaos of whatever the hell that was.
___________________________________________________________
“Janet, what the hell was that?” Steve snapped as the heavy door closed behind you. You'd darted out of there as fast as possible, not that he blamed you. He hadn’t wanted to be there either but one of you had to stay behind.
“That was me trying to save you from making a huge mistake,” she stated, arms folding over her chest, brown eyes burning into his. “Are you really that naive that you can’t see it?”
“See what exactly?”
“That girl is all wrong for you! You’ll never be able to measure up to her husband, ever!”
“I’m not trying to!” he yelled, jolting when he noticed Sarah standing at the counter, looking sheepish at interrupting what was obviously a heated argument.
“Hey there,” she said brightly, waving. “So sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to get some popcorn and a couple of icees.”
“Of course!” Janet beamed brightly, turning to handle her order as if they hadn’t just been yelling at each other.
Sarah cringed, mouthing sorry to him and Steve just gave her a small smile and a wave of his hand, indicating it was okay. She probably knew what was happening. The whole town had known he’d dated Janet for a while. Hell, he was sure the whole town knew how he’d broken her heart because she’d probably made sure they all knew.
She thanked Janet as she took the snacks and traded her money before heading off, turning back once to look back at Steve with sympathy. Everyone knew Janet was a bit crazy. He just wished he’d known before he decided to ask her out. He wished he’d listened when his best friend told him she was after meeting her once but it probably would have already been too late by then. She’d been a stage five clinger from the first date.
“Steve,” she began, shaking her head, pulling her gloves off and flinging them in the trash can. “You didn’t see the two of them together. I did. That was epic, once in a lifetime love. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life living in some man’s shadow? Because that is all you will be to her, a pale comparison of what she had before.”
“You don’t know anything about her and I, and it’s none of your damn business!”
“It is my business! It is! I gave you everything. I took care of you. I bent over backward to be everything you wanted and you still threw me to the side like I was nothing but trash!”
“I didn’t throw you anywhere! And maybe that’s the problem. You shouldn’t mold yourself into what you think someone wants. Then that’s not really what they want and that’s not fair to you. Why would you want to be with someone if you have to pretend?”
“I wasn’t pretending! I’m telling you, if you head down this road, you’re just going to wind up heartbroken. She will never need you like you need to be needed. You will never be number one for her because he always will. You will never be the most important. And you and I both know how much you want that.”
Her words hit their mark. He would never tell her that. And how the hell did she know him that well? Robin had said all those same things to him. How he craved to be the most important to someone because he’d never been to anyone else. But now he had Robin and he knew he was pretty damn high on her list. Not to mention Dustin. That kid relied on him for damn near everything.
But what if he couldn’t ever be that person for you? What if you looked at him and just saw the next best option? Like he was the store brand version of your name brand husband? What if he couldn’t ever have all of you because part of you had been buried in that casket with him?
When Steve envisioned a life with the person he was meant to be with, he envisioned them having all of him, him having all of them. Two people who were so connected that nothing could come between them because they were a force that nothing could break. But could he have that with someone who’d already had that?
“You know I’m right, don’t you?” she smirked, one eyebrow lifting smugly. “She might be a pretty package but she’ll never truly be yours. That gift tag has someone else’s name on it. Dead or not, it doesn’t change that.”
He was saved from responding when the door swung open, Ryan, the other dad who had volunteered, entering. Before he could even get a word out, Steve was gone, pushing past him and into the gymnasium. As if all the doubts Janet had just put in his head would be locked behind that door too when it shut behind him.
Weaving through running children hurrying from one game to the next, his head was on a swivel, looking for any sign of you or the boys. The entire place was chaos, a constant drone of conversation, squealing, and feet smacking against the linoleum. He hadn’t made it halfway through when a little body slammed into his legs, arms wrapping around him. He looked down, expecting to see his own son but finding Eli instead.
“Steve! Steve, you have to come see! They have a reptile guy here and he has real snakes! There’s a python that’s like ten hundred feet long!”
You stood just behind him, Jeremiah next to you. You offered him an uncertain smile and he gave one back. He had no idea where you stood. No idea where your head was at after that embarrassing scene in the concession booth.
Hell, he had no idea where you stood, period. He was hoping you would get a chance to talk tonight. But between the boys and Janet, that wasn’t looking likely. He knew the two of you had crossed the line, and rather quickly. He didn’t regret it. That moment in your kitchen had been playing on a loop in his brain ever since. But he needed to know how you were feeling about it all. Were you officially a couple? Or were you thinking that was a mistake that you wished you could take back? You really might be after what just happened.
Eli grabbed his hand and Steve allowed himself to be dragged across the gym. He responded appropriately with wide eyes and gasps as the boys made him look at every single reptile the guy had from iguanas to a python that was not ten hundred feet long but still pretty damn big. But the whole time his mind was on you, on what you were thinking right now, what you were feeling. He was dying to talk to you, to find out. He wished he could peer into your brain. Were you feeling for him the way he was for you? Or was this just a stepping stone, like Robin had been scared of, a jumping off point for you to move on from the man who’d truly made you happy?
The two of you followed the boys from game to game, dutifully holding any prizes they won. You spoke, your words polite but clipped, uncomfortable and he hated it. The boys didn’t seem to be aware but he sure was. Steve stepped up at the game where you threw a ball at pins and won a goldfish for Eli.
“Mommy, look!” he shrieked, holding the bag up proudly. “Steve got me a fish! I’m going to name him Flash. I know Flash is red and he’s orange but I bet he can swim really fast.”
You smiled at your son, trying to convey excitement but your eyes weren’t quite showing it, “Oh fun.” You looked up at Steve, so exasperated but damn if you didn’t look cute. “Now we need a bowl and food.”
“Sorry,” he offered when the boys raced ahead, leaving you holding the newest member of the family. “I guess I didn’t really think about the ramifications of winning a living creature.”
“It’s fine,” you sighed. “My biggest concern is keeping this damn thing alive. If Eli sees him belly-up, he’s going to be heartbroken. And with a fish, the chances of that are pretty likely.”
“I can stop and grab supplies on the way out of here and drop them off for you,” he offered.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
“Of course I do. It’s my fault you now have a fish to house and feed. It’s not a big deal. I can even help him get Flash all set up if you’d like.”
He wanted you to say yes. He wanted another reason to see you. He wanted an opportunity to talk to you, somewhere away from all the nosey residents of this town. And he was kind of hoping that maybe the boys would head off to Eli’s room and give you some time alone. Time for you to hash all of this out and figure out what exactly was happening here.
You swallowed, your eyes off in the distance and he feared you were going to say no but then you turned to him, smiling.
“Okay. Thanks. I don’t really know anything about keeping a fish alive so that would be helpful.”
Steve shrugged, “It’s not that hard. Not a goldfish anyway. They just need some freshwater, a bowl, and some fish food. I can get a couple fun things for in the bowl too. Some fish are more complicated. My uncle had an aquarium and he had saltwater fish and that’s a pain in the ass. You have to make sure the water is the right PH and everything. But goldfish are pretty basic.”
By the time the carnival was coming to a close, the boys had exhausted every single activity, many more than once. They had maximized their time and the very full bag of cheap prizes that Steve was holding proved it. The baked goods had been a hit. Even Laurie had approached you to tell you how amazing your treats had been, leaving you with that pink blush to your cheeks that Steve loved so much.
The boys were moving much more slowly as they made their way to the parking lot, the energy they’d exuded in the gym finally starting to catch up to them.
“You know, if Jere is really tired, you don’t have to run to the store,” you told him. “I can always go tomorrow. Hopefully this guy can survive in a bag for one night.”
“Nah, he’ll be fine. Watch.” He turned to the boys. “Hey Jere. We’re gonna stop at the store to grab some stuff for Flash and take it to Eli’s. You good with that or are you two tired to go to his house?”
Jeremiah’s face lit up, his exhaustion forgotten as he bounced on his toes, “Yeah!”
“See?” teased Steve with a laugh. “He’s good at bouncing right back when he’s excited.”
“Can we have another sleepover?” asked Eli. “Jeremiah hasn’t stayed at our house and then he can hang out with Flash too. We can sleep in my room. My bed is big so we’ll both fit!”
You sighed, smiling, looking over at Steve who shrugged, letting you know he was okay with it if you were. You looked back at the boys, opening your arms wide.
“Alright. Why not?”
“Yes!” both boys shrieked at the same time.
“Well, then why don’t I just take Jere back with me?” you asked. “The boys can play for a bit until you get there with the fish stuff.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Bye daddy!” Jeremiah yelled, jumping in your backseat with Eli.
“Well, alright then. See you in a bit, okay?”
“See you in a bit,” you smiled.
Steve walked to his car, hope blossoming in his chest, a tiny green sprout of hope that this would work out in his favor. If he could play his cards right and hang long enough, until the boys were passed out, then you could finally have the conversation you needed to have. And then he would know. Either that sprout would spread and bloom or wilt and die.
Chapter 12
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Hi there!! 🙋🏻♀️
I'd really like to read a one-shot, either Carlos x reader (or OFC) or Leon x reader (or OFC). It can also be fluffy and / or hurt & comfort, whatever you're up to 😊
The reader / ofc could probably be a scientist who has to find something important in the NEST in Raccon City and is protected by Carlos or Leon.
What do you think? 😊
No problem!!! Let's go for Carlos x Reader (I felt it more with Carlos)! Takes place during the events in Raccoon City in Resident Evil 3, and I had to slightly modify the base story regarding the NEST location, Carlos' path, etc. Hoping you will enjoy it!! (Sorry for any mistakes). and ofc lets forget the whole carlosxjill thing for this story.
Carlos Oliveira x Reader! : A Former Love
You remind me of someone,"
Carlos said anxiously as he had just laid Jill down on the hospital bed. "Hang in there, SuperCop, it's going to be okay, I'll be right back."
The mercenary's mind was filled with worry after his teammate had been infected during her latest battle against the biological weapon that had been relentlessly pursuing her since they had met. He had luckily stumbled upon the former member of the Bravo team from STARS and had managed to escort her to the hospital he had originally intended to go to. Apparently, this place was connected to Raccoon City's sewer system, and from there, he could reach the NEST where a vaccine against the T-Virus was supposed to be located.
« I guess it's time to go » Carlos sighed before closing the door to Jill's room.
The mercenary cautiously made his way through the dark and silent corridors of the hospital, which seemed to have been devoid of signs of life for a while now. The flickering light of his flashlight barely illuminated the decaying walls and closed doors, creating dancing shadows that seemed to play with his already frayed nerves. The sound of his footsteps echoed in the empty corridors, and he felt his heart race in his chest as he suddenly heard the sound of glass breaking.
The man froze, listening intently, expecting the worst considering all the horrors he had witnessed so far. Ready to react to any potential threat, Carlos quickly pointed his flashlight in the direction of the sound and moved towards it, making his way through the debris and dark corridors to reach the room from where the sound had come.
As he entered the room, his flashlight revealed a familiar silhouette. He stood there dumbfounded for a moment before recognizing the woman who stood there, eyes wide with surprise.
"[Name]?"
« Oh, come on…out of all the people I could meet in this world... what have I done to deserve this? »sighed the young woman in front of him.
The woman who had just entered the hospital was [Name], a former scientist from Umbrella Corporation, and at the same time, a former fling of Carlos. They had met during several joint missions, both working for Umbrella, and had an affair before their paths separated. The young man had not expected to see her here, in a hospital in the midst of the horror of Raccoon City.
"What are you doing here? Get out of this city as soon as possible, you're completely out of your mind!" Carlos said, concerned about the situation.
[Name] barely looked Carlos in the eyes as she picked up the knife she had dropped when she had broken the window to enter.
"I'm here to get the vaccine for all this abomination outside. As a former Umbrella scientist, I think I'll be able to recognize it, and at the same time, gather evidence to show the whole world that the company you still work for is responsible for all this mess," she said coldly.
Carlos let out a small laugh at her words. When I said Jill reminded me of someone…
He looked at her, his feelings mixed. On one hand, he was surprised to see her but relieved to know she was in one piece, but on the other hand, he couldn't deny that he was still drawn to her despite their complicated past.
"Still with this conspiracy theory against Umbrella…"
"You? Why are you here?" the young scientist retorted, finally looking at Carlos in the eyes.
"I'm looking for the vaccine too, believe it or not, for a teammate," he replied, looking worried.
The woman crossed her arms, not responding immediately. She remembered the passionate moments she had shared with Carlos in the past while looking at him from head to toe, but also the fights and disagreements that had driven them apart. One of the reasons that had separated them was, of course, Umbrella.
As you may have gathered from earlier, [Name] had left Umbrella shortly after discovering the company's true intentions and hearing about recent rumors of virus leaks. She had completely disappeared from the radar, doing her best to avoid being pursued by the nefarious corporation and to conduct her research safely and discreetly. She took a deep breath before taking a few steps towards the man standing in front of her. With a determined look, she began,
"You know what? You're going to escort me down there. In addition, you wouldn't have been able to recognize this vaccine, and I've been to this place before."
She grabbed Carlos by the arm without warning and directed him towards the corridor behind them.
"And at the same time, I'll prove to you that I'm right, and you won't be able to call me crazy one more time," she added with a semi-haughty air.
"Well then let's go, sweetheart."
•
The scientist walked with confident strides, knowing the way through the labyrinth of old hospital rooms. She carried a flashlight to illuminate their path, and Carlos followed closely, keeping his weapon ready in case they encountered any trouble.
Suddenly, [Name] came to a sudden stop, gesturing for the mercenary to be quiet. She listened attentively, hearing zombie noises emanating from one of the rooms, then pointed in a specific direction. Carlos nodded and followed her, amazed at how well she knew the layout of the place.
As they made their way through a particularly dark and narrow area towards the underground facility, the scientist grabbed Carlos' arm to help him navigate the stairs.
"You know, this is the second time you've grabbed my arm. I can still walk on my own," he joked teasingly, taken aback by the gesture but finding it pleasing.
[Name] looked up at him, and he noticed a smirk on her lips despite the dim surroundings.
"Haha, gotcha there, dollface. I don't think I've seen you smile once since we started," Carlos whispered.
"Do you expect me to smile often given the situation of this city?"
"No, but when you saw my handsome face back then, I would have expected a big smile from you," the armed man joked.
[Name] pretended not to hear her temporary bodyguard as they arrived at the doors of the NEST.
"Ready?"
•
It was the long-awaited moment for the two of them, as this was where crucial information about the shady activities of Umbrella Corporation and the vaccine needed to save Jill was located. [Name] pulled out an electronic device from her pocket and began hacking the security system of the door. Carlos was impressed by her skills and watched attentively
The door finally opened with a click, revealing a modern and well-equipped laboratory. The two former partners entered cautiously, their weapons ready, but nothing dangerous was in sight. While [Name] inspected the surroundings and vials in search of the vaccine, Carlos stumbled upon a computer displaying seemingly innocuous text.
"[Name],... You were right.... All this time,"
To his great surprise, the displayed information clearly showed that the Umbrella Corporation was responsible for all the virus leaks and dangerous experiments that had led to the catastrophe in the region. There were damning evidence of how the company had concealed its illegal activities and attempted to manipulate the situation to protect its own interests.
As she finally found and grabbed the sample of the vaccine, she slowly approached Carlos, who had a horrified look on his face. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him a look that said "I told you so."
"You know, Carlos," [Name] began, "I'm surprised that you remembered my name," she finished with a small smirk.
As Carlos was about to respond, a zombie emerged from the darkness and lunged at [Name], ready to bite her. The mercenary reacted instinctively, raising his weapon and firing a shot just in time to save the young woman. The creature collapsed, narrowly missing causing her fatal injuries.
A sudden cry escaped [Name]'s mouth as the sound of the gunshot and the fall of the zombie brought them both to the ground. They found themselves face to face, their faces just millimeters apart.
Emotions rushed through their minds as they looked intensely at each other.
His heart was pounding, mixed with adrenaline and concern for [Name]'s safety.
He could feel her warm breath against his face.
As their gazes locked in intense connection, Carlos found himself lost in his thoughts.
God, how beautiful she was.
« Oh come on..." [Name] regained her composure and suddenly stood up, trying not to let her "former" feelings take over.
"Did I say that out loud?" Carlos said with a small chuckle, standing up as well.
"Thank you for saving me, I owe you one, and for accompanying me," the young woman said, heading towards the exit. "There's still a second sample of the vaccine on the table at the back for your partner."
"Wait!"
Carlos rushed towards [Name] and suddenly grabbed her arm. At first annoyed by this gesture, [Name] made movements to free herself from Carlos' grip, but then noticed the seriousness in his brown eyes. He took a deep breath and began his declaration in a deep voice.
"[Name], I sincerely apologize for not believing you when you warned me about Umbrella. I was wrong, and I regret not taking your warnings more seriously. You were right from the beginning."
He paused, letting his words sink in the emotionally charged air between them.
"And about your earlier remark, I never forgot your name, not for a single second. You have always been on my mind, [Name], believe it or not. Knowing that you are safe and sound after all this time brings me great relief."
Carlos lowered his gaze slightly, collecting his thoughts.
He wasn't accustomed to expressing his emotions so openly, but he knew it was important for him to convey what he felt.
The young man tightened his grip and continued.
"There has always been something special between us, [Name]. Even though circumstances have kept us apart. Spending time with you now, in the midst of this chaotic situation, reminded me of how much you mean to me."
He looked up, meeting the gaze of his former flame, searching for a response in her eyes.
[Name] stared at Carlos, moved by his sincere words. She could see vulnerability in his eyes, something she had never witnessed in him before.
The young woman thought they had both moved on, but now, facing him, she wasn't sure of anything.
"Thank you, Carlos," she said softly. "We'll see if we cross paths again after all of this is over."
She offered him a faint smile but didn't linger. She made her way towards the exit door of the laboratory, leaving Carlos standing there.
"Well, let's go back and save Supercop now,"
#luis sera#resident evil#luis sera x reader#luis serra navarro#resident evil 4#luis serra#resident evil remake#luis serra x reader#digital painting#illustration#carlos oliveira#carlos x reader#carlos oliveria smut#carlos oliveria x reader#resident evil 3#re3 carlos#re3make#resident evil fanfiction
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*ahem*
Hello and welcome too:
DR KEL, THE SECRET ARIRAL 2
ELECTRICBOOGALOO
This post shall make clear of some things and make theories such as:
Why dr kel is part ariral
Who made him this way
Even if Dr kel knows they are an ariral
Let's begin
Art from: https://x.com/Celdis_La_Trash/status/1717160454479340020?s=20
From deduction, we can tell Dr. Kel isn't a normal human, quite special indeed, he can eat a lot of bad foods and not get hurt from this, decomposing deers, raw eggs, bugs, and a lot more.
Dr. kel is stronger than many humans (can chuck a 400-pound atv with ease, survive falls and tumbles that would break human bones), its obvious Dr. kel isn't human to a degree. First, who and why?
The most viable options are arirals. Could be some test of sorts, to see if ariral could mate with humans and what the offspring would look like (it's a viable option, I'm sorry), or perhaps Dr. kel is the victim of alien abduction and genetic modification. All we know is that arirals had something to do with it, and arirals have become more familiar to earth than we think. As we can tell by the poster in the base, the previous inhabitants have seen warp arrows. And want to believe.
But why is Dr kel part ariral?... we have a few reasons.
1: As I said, perhaps an ariral mated with a human, for two reasons: because they were in love, and they are testing if it was possible to have offspring with a human. (It's viable, I'm sorry)
2: as we know, their medical system and science are advanced! Far beyond us. But, let's be honest, would they be greedy like us? They do have corruption in their government, so the medical care is probably corrupted, too. And expensive. And arirals are poisonous to humans! Requiring a vacation to help us adapt to them. But, if a human was part ariral, they'd be immune to an extent. Right? So, it could be Dr. kel is a bridge for money, less cash for creating the vaccine, and paying to get it. Plus, it would help create a connection between human and ariral. Dr. kel could be a future ambassador. And if the mating thing is right, these arirals at the array, could be people sent to study them, or one scientist and a parent.
Or, if the genetics manipulation theory is correct, the arirals who are at the array are both scientist and are testing his durability, strength, and agility (explaining the 'pranks' they play), which makes sense, because they seemingly are both talls, and when they push Dr kel, they survive and with little to no bruises (tall arirals are 8× stronger then humans), they also leave ariral food for Dr kel, such as the purple fruit, which shows the genetic manipulation does have limits.
From both theories, they both can either be right, or im batshit insane! Either way I'm for it!
Now, does Dr kel know they are an ariral?..
This is mainly for the ariral parent theory, but if ya squint those eyes, it could fit the genetics manipulation theory.
Well, Dr. kel is a human who willingly went to the array, which is seemingly total isolation from humanity, and abolace that has claimed many human lives! And with Dr ena as their friend, ena has told Dr. kel probably, and wants Dr. kel to back out of it! But Dr. Kel wants to go here for some reason! We all know Dr. bao doesn't care if Dr. kel dies. It's just a little more paperwork for a weak for him! So, Dr. kel is purposely self isolating away from humans and friends. It's possible his parent told him to keep his strange tendencies to himself (ariral parent theory) because the big bad government would take them away if Dr. kel didn't keep it a secret! And so, Dr. kel is probably a little paranoid still of humans, childhood trauma? And we do see that Dr. kel is traumatized a little or paranoid, at least.
It's not a truly perfect theory, but if any writers out their take my ideas, go ahead and make something magical! I might try to as well-
Anyway! That's all I had to say, pinched unto a rant of sorts, all for voices of the void.
If you friends out their might see any other things that could fit into my theory, be not afraid to comment! I like your ideas too.
That's all, bbbbyyyeee! <3
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URDAD - part 4
Vaccine: I want you in my arms
Fic masterlist
There’s this super catholic holiday where I live and it’s the entire city’s personality. It’s this weekend. And I just realized I’ll spend the entire holiday writing smut for different fics while all my friends and family are praying and attending the procession. Am I going to hell
Words: 2,2k
Warnings: NSFW (I did my best to describe it but it’s an uncommon one so if you want to google it this chapter’s sex position is called Stairway to Heaven)
Aelin had to spend some extra energy she didn’t have to keep her legs from swaying. Her muscles were sore, more strained than any gym could make her feel, especially if she considered how tender she was between the thighs as well.
She went back to her bedroom to get a change of clothes and check on Fleetfoot, but her mind hadn’t left Rowan’s bed. The last 24 hours consisted of sex. And naps. And more sex. Eating leftovers of the barbecue with her dog. More sex. Again. Once more. Sleep. Morning sex—
Rowan trapped her against the hallway wall, making her squeal.
“What’re you doing?” Aelin’s head lolled against the wall as he untied her robe, his mouth on her neck. “I left your bed five minutes ago.”
“Too long,” Rowan grunted, grumpy enough to make her laugh.
Aelin pulled his face to her with both hands, and despite the urgency in which he trapped her on the wall, Rowan’s kiss was long and sweet. His teeth and tongue played with her lips when he wasn’t kissing her in tender and heated flicks.
But if his affectionate caresses were making her knees even weaker, she wasn’t ready for when he pinned her wrists above her head, against the wall.
Rowan kissed her collarbone, neck and jaw before whispering in her ear, “I can stop if you’re too tired.”
From under her lids, Aelin analyzed his eager yet careful eyes. How that brilliant mind of his might be planning to have his way with her. Was she tired? Yes. But too tired?
She arched her back, trying to shove their hips together since her wrists were still pinned. “C’mere.”
When Aelin thought his hands were freeing her, he just let her loose for half a second before gripping her waist as if it was his lifeline, Rowan’s hands sneaking under her robe.
His lips were halfway to her neck when Aelin redirected it to her mouth. Their kiss was long and thorough, Rowan taking everything from her while he clutched the shape of her, squeezed her ass and made her tingle all over.
His hand met her pussy, and he groaned at the wetness he found.
“Fuck,” Rowan said under his breath, his fingers sliding inside her with impressive ease. “I can’t get enough of you.”
“You’re insatiable, Doctor.” Aelin’s tone was hoarse and silky. “I didn’t know you were like this.”
“I didn’t either,” he murmured against her jaw before kissing, gripping, curling his fingers inside her and making her eyes roll.
Aelin took his cock in her hand and watched him roughen up his caresses with each pump.
She took a peak at the hallway they were at. The best place here to fuck would be the wall, or maybe…
Aelin took his hand, interrupting their hookup session to lead him to the stairs.
“You wanna fuck downstairs, baby?” Rowan whispered in her ear from behind, his breath against her ear and his hands on her hips being too much to handle.
Too far. Aelin was too horny to talk properly, but the couch was too far. So was the bedroom.
After descending a little, she stopped him in the large landing between the two sets of stairs. She took off her half-opened robe, letting it pool by her feet. Aelin got down on her knees before him, watching Rowan’s confused frown before she turned around to face the stairs.
Fuck, baby were his only words before he kneeled behind her and pushed his cock inside her, every part of it spreading her open for him.
Aelin moaned, holding herself upright by holding a step of the stairs, her knees too weak.
His pace was hungry, Rowan held her hip with one hand, this thumb grazing the top of her ass, and himself with the other, needing to hold on to the stairs if he was as wrecked as she did.
The apex of Aelin’s thighs were on fire, that burning feeling spreading through her limbs. But she still pushed against his thrusts, demanding as much as he could give her, even if she could barely take it herself.
Rowan’s grip on her tightened, and after one particularly merciless roll of his hips, she lost her balance, stumbling off her position.
He immediately stopped to check on Aelin, caressing her hair as he waited for her.
“You okay, baby?” he asked between pants.
The look Aelin sent him over her shoulder was nothing short of wicked. She purred, “Yes, Daddy.”
His eyes darkened, something sparking behind them as he took her in, all in fours for him and ready for more.
He slapped her ass, hard enough to sting.
“What did you say?”
“I—“
Rowan slammed his cock into her, making her lean against the stairs before her and cry out. Without easing his pace, he grabbed a fistful of Aelin’s hair
“What did you call me, baby?”
She had no idea where that pet name came from, but now that he seemed to be into it…
“Your cock is so big, Daddy, it tears me apart when you—“ He pounded into her, turning what she was saying into incomprehensible, strangled noises. “Yes,” she whimpered, “like that.”
“Yeah? How about—“
He sneaked his hand between her legs, pressing her clit. His rhythmic circles there added to his cock filling her in was too much. Aelin’s limbs were weak, all her blood rushing to her loins, and she moaned his name, very close to falling limp on those stairs.
Rowan’s hips stuttered, and the little more pressure he added on her clit made her go over the edge. Aelin clenched around him, knees buckling as her vision blurred, overwhelmed with sensation. He didn’t look much better, and they were both holding on to each other and to that damned staircase, calling each other’s names as they got through the peak together.
After he pulled out, Aelin sat on the bottom of that set of stairs, leaning on the steps with her elbows. Her breath was still erratic when Rowan sat her on his lap and nestled her on his bigger frame.
“My clothes are cleaner,” he explained why he put her over himself instead of the floor, even if his house was tidy. As if she needed a reason to sit on his lap after being fucked like that, repeatedly.
“I have a complaint.” Aelin bit back a mischievous grin while she watched his face grow concerned. “You have your clothes on.”
Rowan’s features relaxed, and he took his t-shirt off to give it to her. “We’re even now.”
The only real complaint she had is that she lost sight of his abs the second his cotton shirt crossed her sight, as she put it on. Truth was, Aelin knew exactly why he didn’t take any of his clothes off. He was too caught up in the moment to do it, and the only reason she took hers off was for that little show in this stairway.
Rowan was awfully silent, just staring at her in a way she’d just found out he’d do sometimes after an orgasm.
She leaned on his torso, running the tip of her finger on the bridge of his nose. “What’re you thinking?”
Rowan startled, realizing just now that he’d tuned out, and his lips tugged in a playful way that was different from his previous vacant look. “Of all parts of my house, I never thought we’d take my stairs’ virginity.”
She chuckled. “That was a first for me too.”
Rowan’s steady breaths were a balm to her soul, just as soothing as his pine smell and bare walls. Aelin used to criticize rich people who had nothing but neutral colors in their home, but she liked his house—especially the green pops of color, even if she’d still put more plants or colorful pillows. Fleetfoot loved it here too, mostly because of the garden and the pool—
Rowan cleared his throat. “But there’s this other thing I was thinking about.”
“Tell me.”
“What’re you doing tomorrow on your lunch break?”
“Why?” Aelin’s gaze roamed over his eager expression with alert eyes, the reddened cheeks framing his nervous close-lipped smile, and she knew exactly what he wanted. She shifted on his lap, straddling him now. “Why do you need me at work, Doctor?” She ran both hands over his chest, sending him a heated look from under her lashes as she said in a sultry tone, “You want to traumatize Anne Jausten?”
He swallowed, his thumb playing with the hem of her—his—shirt. “No, I want to have lunch with you.”
Aelin went rigid on top of him, blinking. “As in a lunch date?”
His mouth opened. And closed. Rowan nodded, his eyes intent on hers.
“I’d love to,” Aelin said around a grin wide enough to release the tension on his shoulders.
“Good.” Rowan showered her neck and jaw with quick pecks. “Good, I—“
“But it can’t be tomorrow.” She grimaced, just now remembering her scheduled appointment. “I have an apartment tour.”
His face fell. “So soon?”
Aelin wasn’t sure if he meant it as a question, so she decided to take it as one.
“Yes, because I’m homeless.” Rowan frowned, making her grin while she rubbed off the crease between his eyebrows. “And your deadline was one or two weeks, remember?”
“I… deadline?” He blinked. “I didn’t mean it literally, Aelin. I’m not kicking you out in eleven days.”
“I know you won’t, but I still need a home.”
“Alright, then.” He pushed back his shoulders, something shifting in his mind as his gaze levered hers. “Let’s see this apartment.”
She leaned away to carefully scan his face, trying to understand him. “You want to see the apartment with me?”
“Why not?” He shrugged. “It’ll be fun.”
˜˜
“I hate this,” Rowan protested once more, “it’s unacceptable.”
“Can you explain your new concerns to me, Mr. Whitethorn?” The real estate agent’s tone was way too neutral, her smile way too strained.
The poor woman. Rowan was wearing her thin with his million complaints about her potential future house.
He gave the woman a surprised glare, as if he couldn’t believe she wasn’t seeing the same thing as he. “Why are these walls so yellow? It hurts my eyes.”
“It was inspired by a viral kitchen on Pinterest, sir.”
Rowan gave her a bored look. “It’s tacky.” He pointed at a small crack in the wall, between the counter and the wall cabinet. “And what about that? Are the cracks cosmetic, or does the building have structural damage?”
After giving a quick reassurance that she didn’t know about any structural issues, the agent excused herself. Good for her, since Aelin didn’t know what was going on with Rowan today.
The apartment wasn’t half as nice as his two-story house, but it was the closest from the hospital she could afford. It was a small, nice-enough middle-class place for a single, middle-class girl.
Aelin tugged on Rowan’s hand and stood on her tiptoes to whisper, “Take off your pants.”
His eyes bulged. “Here?”
“Well, I have to do something about this bug up your ass.”
Rowan crossed his arms, unimpressed by her snark. “If I have a bug up my ass, it must be because this apartment has bug issues.”
The slap on his bicep was gentle, but Aelin’s face was not.
He gaped. “The apartment is terrible, and I’m the one in the wrong?”
“It’s a perfectly good apartment!”
“The floors are too creaky!” He made his point by walking around and stepping multiple times on the creaks he found. “Do you think Fleetfoot is gonna like to run here? Can she even run in a place this small?” He dragged her by the hand to a window. “You see this alley?”
It was right under her window, even though the front of the building was on a bigger street. In fact, the alley was between two larger streets, and a big part of it was just the sides of bigger buildings that faced the main streets.
“What about it?”
“It’s the kind of place thiefs run to after mugging women like you. For all I know, there could be a crack house by the end of this alley.”
She crossed her arms. “A crack house? Seriously?”
Rowan shrugged. “Have you seen Mistward’s crack rates?”
“Have you seen Mistward’s crack rates?”
He squinted his eyes. “I don’t like this house.”
Aelin took a peak around the apartment. It wasn’t ideal, but it was as good as she could get given the time she had. But yesterday Rowan said there was no urgency at all, which meant Aelin had until he got tired of her.
And he was right about Fleetfoot, too. The house wasn’t ideal for her, the neighborhood wasn’t safe enough to walk her at night, and no thief would be scared of a friendly little mutt that looked like a golden retriever.
Imogen never mentioned anything about her father having girlfriends, which probably means Rowan gets bored of women easily. If Aelin played her cards right, she could even double her amount of weeks with him, finding a better place to move out in the meantime.
“Fine.” She pointed a finger at him. “But if you keep this up, I’m not bringing you to the next tour tomorrow.”
Rowan’s eyes widened. “Tomorrow?”
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#rowaelin#rowan whitethorn#aelin galathynius#throne of glass#rowaelin fanfiction#rowan x aelin#aelin x rowan#rowaelin fanfic#throne of glass fanfic#urdad
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Vet Bills and a Sick Kitty Boy
Hello all, over the past month and a half I have incurred some medical bills for my cat Alistair, that while one bill hurts but isn't world ending. Multiple have put us in a bind.
Our Total: $430/$1176.86
My Paypal: tielfingriley or paypal.me/tieflingriley
The Story:
So my sweet yet very hungry boy Alistair, had been having stomach troubles. He's 12 years old, so not uncommon for a cat his age, and he has always had a bit of a sensitive tum, but this was different. He was projectile vomiting mostly water, and I had noticed he was loosing weight. He is a long cat, and his healthy weight sits at 15-16 pounds.
So we take him to the vet and the do a initial blood panel with a special panel to check a for a heart protein, it is here that I learn my asthmatic cat also has a heart murmur! But because of the special check it had to be sent to THE ONLY LAB IN THE US THAT CHECKS FOR IT, which meant it was pricey
Good news, blood came back fine. His heart and kidneys weren't failing but he was still vomiting water at this time. At this point we were moved to a different vet who noted his long term tum issues. Informing me that long term inflammation can lead to Gastrol Intestinal Cancer. (Maybe) They only DEFINITIVE way of checking was to slice him open and do biopsies, which wasn't ideal. Instead we opted for an Ultrasound, it would check for inflammation, which would say absolutely yes or no on inflammation, but would still be a maybe on the cancer (however its the same treatment either way). But could also check Liver, Pancreas, and Gallbladder. I of course chose this because it was far less invasive to the boy. Alistair did need to be sedated. He isn't a violent cat, but he is a squirmy noodle.
This is when things got really spicy for us financially. You see this happened RIGHT before my birthday. Like legit I found out my cat had maybe cancer the day before. And my husband a few weeks prior had bought me a rather nice gift of storage drawers? IDK what you would call it but furniture for my art supplies to be stored in. It was a bit pricey but I was having a rough time and a history of astronomically shitty birthdays. (As you can see, the universe has a sense of humor)
So the Ultrasound came back. Yes there are signs of inflammations, so cancer is still a maybe. However, what had the doctors eyes and was concerning her more was the pancreas. It was, extended and incorrect. She believed that it wasn't producing a enzyme to help break down food, particularly fat, for absorption. Essentially, on top of the inflammation, Alistair was slowly starving to death. However before just popping some pig panceas pills inside my boy, she wants to make sure. So more blood work, TO THE ONLY LAB IN THE US OF COURSE, an another bill.
Now we are waiting on this information. He is on some pro and prebiotics that have stopped the vomiting entirely. However his weight is still quite thin. I am unsure if we will have more hefty bills. For reference a checkup at this vet is 50 bucks. So normally its not to rough on us, and check up plus vaccines is 100 which is a planned event. None of this was planned to say the least.
AND NOW THE SAPPY SHIT
Alistair saved my life. I know logically getting a cat as a means to not kill yourself isn't the best thing to do, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Ive had him since September of 2012. I love that fluffy biscuit stealing bastard with my entire heart. I have a tattoo on him on my arm, my first and currently only tattoo. Because of him, I was able to live a longer and healthier life and I want that for him.
Despite being a cat, he loves biscuits, potato chips, and the tops of muffins but only the tops. He can and will open cookie jars for cookies. I have explained he is an obligate carnivore and he has explained like a good southern he cant turn down a carb.
He will fist fight you for cheese. Love to play fetch with a hair tie. Isn't a lap cat with the exception of me. LOVES NAPS, and likes to watch Markiplier.
He's a very good boy with separation anxiety, and tummy issues who just wants to nap and eat and I think we can all relate.
Oh...and he has a little mustache
Thank you to all who donate and to everyone who spreads the word to help us get out of this debt.
#Fundraising#gofundme#Donate if you can#But absolutely reblog#Thank you so much#Alistair the cat#Cat
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Why do people hate Miles Teller? I am not trying to be cheeky! I really have no clue! I never heard about him being hated. Has it to do with shipping or are they jealous because of his wife?
I don't think it has anything to do with any shipping or fandom related things, and I don't think most people even know who his wife is because she's not a celebrity. Based on my personal observations, there's a handful of "key reasons" that tend to come up time and again when people say they hate Miles Teller.
The first one and the origin of the "Miles Teller is an asshole" rep seems to be the infamous interview he gave to Esquire magazine in 2015. You can find the whole interview and the reactions to it just by googling it. I get the feeling that Miles and the interviewer weren't on the same wavelength, Miles' sense of humor rubbed her the wrong way, they clashed from the moment the interview started, and both of them ended up looking like jerks.
There's also been some reports that Miles (allegedly) was difficult on the set of F4 and War Dogs, but in hindsight, knowing what we know about the nightmare production of F4 and its problematic director who barely has a career anymore, and Jonah Hill who was Miles' co-star in War Dogs, it's probably safe to assume that Miles at the very least wasn't the only asshole on those sets and maybe had a reason to bitch.
The third big reason seems to be the assumption that Miles and his wife are Trump-loving Republicans. I think his wife's parents are Republican, but the only time I've heard Miles himself bring up his own political views is when he mentioned attending Robert De Niro's (who, as far as I know, is a vocal Trump critic and a Democrat) election night party in 2016. So we can probably assume that he and his wife don't support the Orange One even if some people in their families do.
The fourth and the most recent reason is the assumption that Miles didn't care about Covid and caused the entire production of The Offer to shut down because he (allegedly) refused to get vaccinated. As far as I know, the production was actually shut down and Miles did get Covid, but he also gave a statement where he said that both he and his wife had been vaccinated "for some time" when that happened. So I guess you either believe him or the anonymous "inside source" who claims he's anti-va**. And I'm not defending him, but I was vaccinated three times, always wore a mask and did several tests, and I still managed to get Covid twice, so you can get it even if you're careful.
So that's my nutshell take on his negative rep. I think most people don't care to find out what he's actually like and which things about him are true, which is valid. I don't go around doing deep dives into celebs who I have no interest in. And I admit that I myself spent years under the impression that Miles Teller is an asshole because I had only seen unflattering headlines about him on Oh No They Didn't and various other gossip blogs. But I don't think Miles himself cares enough to make an attempt to fix his reputation. It's been almost nine years since that Esquire interview, but the fallout from it is most likely permanent.
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Firefly Chapter Fifty-Three
We tied the horses to a tree, making sure to leave it loose enough that they could get free if they needed to. We looked around to see there wasn't anyone on guard. “Something's off. Why isn't there anyone on guard?” We slowly made our way to the front of the building. The glass doors and windows at the entry were boarded up by plywood. When we walked into the lobby of the science building there were plastic totes and boxes stacked up in the middle between the doors and stairs.
I picked up a clip bored and looked at it. It was a checklist of things. “They were packing up to leave. This is a checklist,” insaid, handing it to Joel. “Hello! Is anyone here?!” Ellie shouted. Joel and I both shushed her. “We gotta keep it down. We don't know who might be here or what might be in here,” I told her. She whispered sorry and we headed towards the stairs. “Where do you think everyone went?” Ellie asked, quietly as we came to the second floor. Before either of us could answer we heard a loud banging coming from down the hall.
With Joel in the lead, we quietly and slowly made our way towards the sound. It was probably a stupid idea, but what other choice did we have? It could be one of the fireflies. We made our way to a classroom, and Joel slowly pushed the door open, gun aimed in front of him. When we walked in, we saw monkeys running about and knocking stuff over. I walked in further and looked around. “Fucking monkeys. Doesn't look like anyone has been here for a while,” I said.
“Let's look around and see what we can find. Don't wander off too far,” Joel said. I walked out into the hall and looked into the other rooms, going in and checking anything I saw that might give a clue what happened here. “Do you think They're still alive?” I wiped my head to the left and looked at Ellie. “I don't know. Maybe. I don't see any kind of signs of struggle but that doesn't mean something didn't happen. They were packing up to leave but why? That's the question. Whatever happened here, it happened a while ago.”
We continued going through the rooms, coming across monkeys once in a while. There were documents on the Cordyceps Infection and failed tests for vaccines. There were scans of people, infected, with different stages of Cordyceps. We looked through everything until we came to one of the rooms that had a white board with a map pinned to it. “Looks like they headed to Salt Lake City,” Joel said, pointing to the map where Salt Lake City was circled in red. “Looks like we're going to Utah,” I said.
We were getting ready to head back to the stairs when voices from outside floated up into the room through the broken window. Joel moved closer to look down at the ground, moved back, and put his finger to his lips. Ducking down we made our way out of the class room and down the hall. We were only a few feet from the stairs when we heard voices and footsteps coming up them. Joel quickly opened a door and pushed Ellie and I inside, closing it behind him and leaning against it to listen. When they passed the door, he opened it just enough so he could look into the hall.
One by one, silently, with Joel going first, then Ellie, and finally me, we moved out of the room and down the stairs. At the bottom Joel looked around before urging us toward the front doors where we came in. We got to the horses, untying them from the tree branch when yelling started. Then a shot went off and three men charged us. I pulled my gun, armed, and shot one in the shoulder, knocking him back. Another came up on Joel, who dodged the man's bat.
I shot the first one again in the leg and then shot another in the head before going to help Joel. He was struggling with the guy who had run at him. The man swung the wooden bat again, Joel dodged it and he hit the tree breaking the bat. “Yn, watch out!” Ellie yelled. Before I could turn around someone tackled me to the ground. We fought, rolling around, trying to get the upper hand on each other. I had no chance against him, he was bigger and stronger. He also had a knife in my face.
My hands wrapped around his wrist, pushing against him as hard as I could. My grip was slipping and the only thing I was able to do was move his hand down away from my face. He put all his weight down, driving the knife into my shoulder. A shot went off at the same time I screamed in pain, then he was falling off of me. Joel was standing above me and when I looked up I gasped. “Joel.” He looked down to where my eyes were fixed. The broken end of the bat was protruding from the side of his abdomen.
He stumbled back and I stood. “Joel, don't pull…” He pulled it out of his abdomen and threw it to the ground. Yelling got closer and closer to us. “Get on the horse, Joel!” Ellie told him, urging him to mount the horse. He did as told and she climbed up behind him. I got on the other horse and we headed towards the way we came in at. I shot at anyone following until we were completely out of sight.
Blood was running down my arm and hung limp by my side. We followed train tracks for miles before Joel started to slow down. Ellie was doing her best to keep him upright. I had come up beside them on the side Joel was leaning towards to try and help her. His skin had grown pale and clammy. I'm sure I wasn't looking the best either. The pain in my shoulder was horrible. With every bounce it shot down my arms and across my shoulder.
That all went away the moment Joel and Ellie's horse came to a stand still and Joel looked over at me before falling off the other side of the horse. Ellie yelled his name and got off the horse, falling to his side. I slipped off my horse, ran around to them, and fell to his other side. “Joel, look at me!” I said, grabbing his face to turn his head towards me. “Look at me, Joel.” His eyes looked up at me, his mouth opening but nothing came out. His eyes shut again and he fell unconscious. “Joel! Joel, don't do this! Wake up! Wake up, Joel! Please.” Ellie was shaking himself, tears coming to her eyes. “We can't do this without you.”
#joel x reader#ellie x joel#joel the last of us#joel and ellie#joel tlou#joel miller x reader#joel miller#ellie x riley#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#the last of us fanfic#the last of us game#the last of us#the last of us x reader#pedro pascal
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I Never Die, I Only Breed: Level 3 - (G)I-dle Soyeon
A/N: Yuqi has appearances too and small scenes. Previous characters will make appearances due to the nature of the series, but I’ll leave them out from the title since they’re not the “main” character.
You're in a room—there is a bed, there is a door, but no mirror. You are in Yuqi's room after all. You’ve just finished another round with her, earning you another Woogi Power. Feeling like a king, you put on your robe as Yuqi lay in bed, sated and bred. You stride confidently to the door and push down on the handle. To your surprise it opens to a bedroom, furnished with a bed, but also with a producing setup, complete with monitors, keyboard and mic. At the keyboard sits your next challenge—Soyeon.
"Oh, hello, I didn't expect you here so quickly." She leaves her seat, walking just as confidently to you; you felt smaller with every step she took towards you. Soyeon's robe wasn't even tied—she didn't bother, letting it float open, showing you the delicious centerline of her figure.
"N-nice to meet you Soyeon."
"Queen Soyeon to you. Now, I'm tired from carrying the Cube on my back, are you the King to relieve me?" She reaches into your robes, grabbing your half-erect shaft. "Hmm, not bad so far. Get on the bed, time for the Queen to climb King Cock." Cackling at her own joke she orders you to bed, and with your own robe open you lay waiting for Soyeon. This would be easier than you thought, as Soyeon seems to want to do all the work on top of you. Fully naked, Soyeon climbs on top of you, smirking at your eyes traveling down her body.
"Like what you see?"
"Yes, my Queen."
"Good, you learn fast. Now, you're going to breed my ass aren't you? Gonna give this queen a princess?" She strokes your cock slowly, making you groan.
"Ugh, yeah, fuck yes..." You feel your head press between her legs, and shut your eyes, ready for the pleasure of Soyeon, except she pushes against you... and stops. "Wha—"
"How are you not lubed up?" Soyeon asks disgustedly.
"What? O-oh, let me get you wet." You try to sit up, but Soyeon pushes you back down.
"Idiot, I'm plenty wet, but you're not lubed up." Puzzled, you try to push up into her, but she snarls and grabs your hair.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"P-Putting it in, how else do I get you—"
"No, you put it in my ass, or not at all." You realize then that Soyeon meant it literally when she said "breed her ass".
"T—that's not how it works!"
"I don't care, I want it in my backdoor, I don't care about your stupid little game."
"What if you let me put it in first, to get it wet?"
"Nope, next thing I know you'll just be thrusting in and out of there instead. Go get lube."
"From where?"
"Not my problem either. Do you have any?"
"I— no of course not, I have nothing on me! Maybe you can give me a blow—" The last syllable dies on your lips as she glares at you.
"So, you know where this is going then." Fuck.
"Yeah." You close your eyes, the bottom drops out from under you, and suddenly the familiar sensation of falling greets you again.
When you open your eyes you're in a room—there is a bed, there is a mirror, there is a door. You head over to the mirror immediately and see if you have any new unlocks, something that could help you with Soyeon.
NEW PERKS!
Jiffy Lube: Your cock becomes slick on demand—2 Woogi Power
All Holes Lead to Rome: Impregnation is possible from any hole—150 Neverpoints
Johnson & Johnson: Just like their vaccines, two cocks for the thrust of one!—5 Woogi Power, 3 Yeoro Bun
Finger Lickin' Good: Enhances both your fingers and your tongue—70 Neverpoints
You groan at the costs—they were all expensive, meaning you had to grind several rounds with Yuqi and Shuhua. You decide to go to Yuqi, as you needed at least one more Woogi Power to even buy anything, plus it would get you to 70 Neverpoints, although you're not sure how useful that perk would be.
As soon as you enter her room Yuqi pounces on you, kissing and licking down your body.
"What, you couldn't wait to do me again?"
"Sounds like you're the one who can't wait."
"Shut up and come fuck my mouth!" As always Yuqi takes you in, almost inhaling your shaft down her throat as she bobs her head on you. Her tonguework is exquisite, and you can't help but alert her to your climax with a moan.
"Yuqi I'm gonna cum!"
"Mmph, wait!" To your surprise she doesn't let you blow in her mouth, and instead she gets off you, and her lower lips consume you instead.
"What? Oh fuck!" Almost embarrassingly, the moment her crotch touches yours you start cumming, pouring your load into Yuqi. You shiver as she gets off you for the last few spurts, taking you back into her mouth. She continues to lick your head until you have to gently push her away, your head far too sensitive for her tongue.
"Y-Yuqi what was that?"
"I just wanted to taste myself on you. Plus you need to get to Soyeon unnie again right?"
"Yeah, thanks, I guess." A thought strikes you as you watch your cock shine with Yuqi's spit, still hard thanks to your perks. "Can you suck on it a bit more? Soyeon wants it wet."
"I'll never say no to that." Yuqi laughs, then starts licking and sucking on your shaft again. You almost lose yourself in the pleasure, slowly thrusting into her face as your fingers dig into her hair. You start pulling her into your crotch, before finally Yuqi places her hands on your thighs, muffling a protest.
"Sorry, too rough?" you gasp, the pleasure bleeding off a little.
"No no, just felt like you were going to cum, aren't you going to Soyeon?"
"Right, right. Thanks." You place your hand on the door handle, but something nags at you. "You didn't get off did you?"
"No, it's fine." You felt bad, and quickly you pull out the cOCk-a-dildo.
"You can use this." Yuqi's eyes widen as she grasps the life-like phallus.
"Oh wow, this feels so real, so that's how you tricked me initially wasn't it?"
"Yeah, sorr—" Your apology falls on deaf ears as Yuqi immediately dams her mouth on it, moaning loudly as she does so.
"God it feels just like the real thing. You should go!" Yuqi warns shakily, the words muffled around the fake shaft. "I might jump you if you don't."
You heed her warning, and wet dick in the air you hurriedly push through the door, Yuqi's airy moans go silent when the door closes behind you.
"Hi Soyeon, I'm all ready."
"Are you now? Let's see." She brings you to bed and runs a finger down your shaft. She looks closely at the liquid collected on her fingertip, and seemingly satisfied, she brings you close for a kiss, or so you thought—she spits in your mouth instead.
"What the—" you choke and cough.
"Shut up, did you like that? You like someone else's spit in you?"
"No, what the fuck!" Soyeon pushes you away, slapping you.
"Why did you think you could put Yuqi's spit in my ass then? How dare you!"
"I'm sorry, I thought it would do as lube."
"Well it would not."
"Right, I'm sorry, I'll go then," you mutter, rubbing your stinging cheek—Soyeon had not been gentle. You make to go, but she has other plans for you.
"Oh you're not going anywhere yet, you have to make it up to me." She yanks you by the hair, and you're lying down on the bed all of a sudden. Before you know it, Soyeon's ass is descending from above. You see her wicked smile from between her legs.
"I don't want her spit in my ass, but I sure wouldn't mind yours." That's the last you see of her face, as your vision is completely covered by her pussy and ass. She allows you to lick both holes, grinding herself on your face and alternating the angles she sits on you. Soon though, she wants you to get in there, and as you circle her ass she sits down deeper on you, plunging your tongue into her. Soyeon growls in pleasure, her fingers going to her pussy and plugging it like your tongue just plugged her ass. She rocks herself on top of you, riding herself into a frenzy, and your neck and chin get wetter by the second.
"Mmm that's it, tongue my ass, get deep in there if you want to put it in me!" She pushes herself back onto your tongue, twerking on your face. Your arms wrap around her thighs, and you hold her in place as you really go to town on her. Sloppy wet noises are heard both from your eating and from her fingering, her pussy the source for the river of slick down your neck, soaking onto the sheets.
"Damn, that's it, fucking eat your queen, and here she fucking cums!" With a loud groan Soyeon orgasms on you, her ass suddenly tightening up around your tongue as she freezes in place. The only motion that remains is of her juices spewing out over you.
"Very nice peasant, you might even be king material." She gets off you, her hands running up and down your neck. For a moment you thought she would choke you, but covered with her own slick, her hands grasp your shaft, liberally applying it over your cock. Your eyes widen when she gets on top of you once more, leaning backwards to support herself. Soyeon shifts her butt around and back, trying to align her rear entrance with your tip, and when it finally catches you groan, your tip easily slipping in thanks to the combination of your spit and her slick.
"Ready? Try not to cum too fast." Your eyes briefly see Soyeon smirk as she begins sinking herself on you, but your gaze is quickly monopolized by the sight of her pussy twitching between her legs—her lower lips quiver and twitch, as if your cock was splitting both her ass and pussy at once. Slowly she begins going up and down, soft moans escaping the two of you, the volume growing as the volume in her ass begins to grow as well, your shaft opening her up fully.
"You like that? Your peasant cock going up my ass?" Soyeon tries to mock between teases, but you know she is feeling it as much as you are. Biting her lips does nothing to stifle her hedonistic moans, her toes curling into the sheets, and more importantly, her pussy leaking all over your crotch.
"Yeah? Does the Queen like taking my cock up her ass?" you shoot back, your body threatening to shoot something else very soon. You weren't going to accomplish anything right now anyways with no new perks, but you weren't going to give Soyeon the satisfaction, you wanted to see her cum first. "The Queen likes taking my filthy peasant cock up her ass does she?"
"How dare you!" Soyeon changes positions, pushing herself forward and raising a hand, ready to slap you. A slapping sound occurs, but it is one of your hand landing on her ass, pulling her down deeper on your cock.
"Hnnngh!" She collapses on top of you. "Fuck that's deep!" She pushes herself down further, really sinking your cock inside her. "Fine, you know what you're doing, I'm just going to enjoy the ride."
"Fine with me." You grit your teeth and start pumping up into Soyeon. There was no chance of breeding her this round, little room to progress. So with zero pressure, you enjoy the infinite pressure of Soyeon's ass, crushing your shaft every she brings herself down. Groans and grunts make up the music of her studio-cum-bedroom, and you feel yourself begin to reach your limit. But you didn't want to hear her gloat, hear her croon about how she made you cum. So you reach down and around her ass, your fingers meeting her own—Soyeon's been frigging herself the entire time.
"Want me to cum first don't you? Beg for it, beg for me to cum." Fuck, now you're conflicted, do you give her the satisfaction of having you cum first, or do you allow yourself to beg her and cum before you?
"Please cum for me."
"Sounds like you want to cum more than I do."
"Please my—my Queen, please cum for me." You dip a finger into her, and Soyeon's finger joins yours. Her finger nudges against yours, twisting and catching yours, bringing it to where she wanted to be touched.
"More, beg for it!"
"Please my Queen, your peasant needs you to cum."
"Maybe I should hmm?" Her other hand takes your thumb, bringing it over to her clit. You take the hint and rub it hard. "Maybe I— mmm fuck yes!" She slams herself deep on to you, losing control of her body as she cums, a groan of relief coursing through her and out on to your fingers.
Your own groan in relief rather than glory, and the crushing pressure becomes a boiling, spewing, volcanic heat. Like-for-like you repay Soyeon, her juices covering your fingers as your cum covers her anal walls. Her black hair tickles your cheek as she finally starts moving again, rocking gently to the rhythm of your pulses.
"Not bad, my little peasant, keep that up and you might be king."
"Thanks, ughh fuck..." you whimper as your cock is released from Soyeon's vise grip. A mild pang of disappointment hits you, knowing the white river flowing out of her is not going to do anything to her.
Soyeon reads your mind. "Aww, don't be sad, you got to fuck me." Her wet hand runs along your chin, kissing you. It continues down the side of your face, and then suddenly, a new crushing pressure presents itself on your throat. "Too bad that's all you get." The world goes dark as you reach for Soyeon.
You're in a room—there is a bed, there is a mirror, there is a door. You rub your hand on your neck, wondering if Soyeon left a bruise on it. You had 2 Woogi Power, about 120 Neverpoints, and no Yeoro Bun. If you get Jiffy Lube, it'd mean you didn't have to eat Soyeon's ass again. But then again, you wouldn't have to eat Soyeon's ass again. You briefly ponder the best course of action, and deciding that you had enough of Soyeon for now, you settle on what to do—go back to Yuqi.
"Hi oppa! Back again?"
"Mmhmm, I need more Woogi Power."
"I knew it, I'm the best!" As you disrobed and aimed your shaft at Yuqi’s face, she shook her head, choosing instead to get on top of you.
"What about your mouth?"
"My jaw's sore, I've been using the cOCk-a-dildo the whole time you're gone." Only then do you realize that you haven't gotten it back in your inventory.
"Oh, can I get it back, I might need it?"
"Aww really? How about this, you let me keep it, and in return you can get right to fucking me, any time you come back." Wow, that would really speed up getting 3 more Woogi Power.
"That works, can I get it back eventually though?"
"Sure, but ah, then it goes in here instead." Yuqi opens her jaw brazenly, before wincing in pain—just how much did she use it on her mouth? "Now shut up and cum in me."
Usually wordy, there is little talk from Yuqi, instead choosing to ride you fiercely, her pink hair a mess as she bounces her pale petite porcelain figure on you. An actual porcelain figure would have shattered by now, but not Yuqi, who moans deliriously straight in your ear.
"Better than the dildo."
"I thought you said it was just as good."
"For my mouth, but it doesn't feel the same in— there!" She snaps her head back and shouts as she slams herself down on a particularly good spot. "Cum for me right there, I want to feel your cum right there." Yuqi has a spell over you, and after a few more grinds over the spot you give her what she wants, the warm splash of semen tipping her over. She slips down deeper onto you as well, and the rest of your load goes straight into her, all their way to their destination.
"Mmm thanks for coming by." She gets off you, kissing your still hard cock with a giggle. Yuqi watches you go, but she is puzzled when you go back the way you came in.
"Aren't you going to Soyeon?"
"Not yet, I have a few buns to bake."
You repeat the process several times, putting enough buns in Shuhua and Yuqi to start your own family bakery. Alternating between the two of them you soon have enough Woogi Power, Yeoro Buns, and Neverpoints to buy the "Johnson & Johnson" and the "All Roads Lead to Rome" perks the next time you wake up in your room. Passing through Yuqi's room, you give her one more good mating session before opening the door to Soyeon's "studio".
"Hi Soyeon."
"Hmph, the peasant is finally back, done fucking your peasant wives?" For some reason you were protective of Yuqi and Shuhua, and you had enough of Soyeon.
"No, I'm done with fucking the Queen." You pull her off her producer chair, throwing her on the bed. A tinge of surprise is on her cheeks, but Soyeon simply props herself up on the bed, her robe open as usual, proudly vulnerable, as if she had you where she wanted.
"Good, looks like the peasant has finally grown some balls."
"Yeah? Well time for you to suck them then." You take position over her face, and begin sinking your hips on her face, not unlike what she had done to you. You savor the feel of her tongue on your sack, a groan of victory escaping you as she flicks her tongue all over. You pull back and point your tip at her face. Now the rest of it."
"You don't think this queen will just bite you off?" Soyeon threatens, but you know it is fake, a flush of red going down her body. It turns a shade deeper when you utter your reply.
"There will be no one to dick you down then, open." You prod at her lips, and she protests no further, allowing her own spit to lube you up, 2 Woogi Power well saved. You are not gentle with her, and eagerly you fuck Soyeon's face like you would Yuqi. As soon as you are wet enough though, you pull out and rip the robe off Soyeon.
"Are you going to try and be a king now?"
"No, because I'm playing a different game."
"Oh? The peasant thinks he can fuck a queen and get away with it?" Soyeon doesn't resist as you get her on all fours, continuing to fire barbs at you instead. "It's bad form to not take your kingly responsibility you know."
"What responsibility? You think I want to hang around and listen to you drone on and on and on the whole damn time? I'd give up a kingdom to not do that."
"What?! Filthy scum! Pwah!" She tries to spit at you again, but this time your hand goes to her head, pushing her down into the bed. You aim your tip at her folds, planning to split her lower lips too. "Where the fuck are you putting that, I want my ass fucked!"
"Oh that will happen, like I said, this a different game." A heavenly moan and a hellish scream collide in Soyeon's vocal cords, and the sound she makes is unholy as you activate and put Johnson & Johnson to good use, opening up both her pussy and ass in one vengeful thrust.
"What the fuck, what did you do!" Soyeon whimpers into the bed, feeling double stuffed for the first time.
"You may be a queen, but I'm the player. And just like in chess, you're but." Split her. "One." Spear her. "Piece!" Ream her.
"Fuck!" This time it is less of a curse at you, and more of a curse at the heavens, the pleasure and pain coursing through her absolutely divine. All Soyeon can do is gnash her teeth, gritting and grinning at the same time, her toned body absolutely pounded into the bed, her holes feeling like they're being railed and torn and ravaged like never before with every thrust. You reach over and pinch her clit, and not too gently either—there was no gentleness in how you handled this "queen".
"You fucker!" With another curse Soyeon climaxes around you swiftly, coating your shaft with slick. It helps you pump into her even faster, every double thrust seeming to knock the air out of her in the form of a moan. "S-slow down!"
"Why? The queen's too weak to take a pounding?" You keep up the furious pace, spittle flying out of your mouth as you order her. "Beg for it! Beg me to slow down!"
Her eyes are wide open, looking into yours but completely out of focus. Soyeon's mouth opens and closes, conflicted and saying nothing. In between shivers of overstimulation she closes her eyes and bites the pillow instead.
"What's wrong huh? Beg for it!" you taunt her further, slowing down briefly, impaling her with more powerful thrusts instead.
"Don't stop..."
"What's that?"
"Don't stop!"
"Beg me then."
"Please don't stop, fuck it feels so good! Your queen begs you to fuck the shit out of her!"
"Queen? You're no queen, you're just an NPC!"
"You fucking peasant, keep going! I'm no NPC!"
"Not for long you're not, you're gonna be a PC real soon... Pregnant character!" You push deep into Soyeon, and with a roar of satisfaction you reach your own climax, both cocks throbbing violently in her ass and pussy. With an equally profane scream Soyeon orgasms with you, the hot sensation of cum in her womb and bowels pushing her far over the edge. All holes do lead to Rome, and the pleasure spike of getting doubly bred causes her eyes to roll in her head, blacking out temporarily.
You collapse on top of Soyeon, completely drained. She's still breathing at least, and harshly you whisper in her ear.
"You're mine. You are a queen, but at the end of the day I'm the player and you are my queen. A piece, equal to Yuqi and Shuhua, don't you forget that." Too hoarse to speak, Soyeon merely nods, whining and quivering as you pull out of her.
You feel the world begin to spin as you are completely spent. You look to the door that appears on the other side of Soyeon's room, and notice the distinct lack of a handle, and some sort of... card reader? Like you had to swipe to enter—a hotel room? Your thoughts slow, your vision blurs and dims. The last thing you hear is Soyeon's whisper.
"Come back soon to play with your queen..."
You're in a room—there is a bed, there is a mirror, there is a door. You get up to check the mirror, and unsurprisingly you have a new achievement and currency.
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED! For completing level 3, level 2 is now optional!
CUMCA Kred - Currency you receive for successfully breeding Soyeon
You look down at the perks, hoping to see what you can buy with the CUMCA Kred, and to your surprise there's no new perks, but there is a new item to buy. To your shock it is expensive, excessively so.
Battle Pass: Allows you to proceed to Level 4 - 50 CUMCA Kred, 100 Woogi Power, 200 Yeoro Bun, 400 Neverpoints
"What the fuck? That is way too much grinding!" you shout out loud, disgusted. You turn off the game, debating if you should go look up cheats or hacks for it, but tired from what it took to bed Soyeon once, you decide against looking it up for now.
You'll start the grind some other time, when you get around to it again.
*To be continued*
Current Perks:
Magic Finger I-III
Stoneskin Totem I, II
Lickitongue I
Going the Distance I
Learnway I
Stay ready by staying hard
Johnson & Johnson
All Holes Lead to Rome
Inventory:
Empty
Currency:
1 CUMCA Kred, 1 Woogi Power, 2 Yeoro Bun, 30 Neverpoints
A/N: Took a while to piece everything together and come up with all the stupid references lol. The perks are related to companies (not sponsored heh), All Holes Lead to Rome is fairly obvious. CUMCA Kred is a play on KOMCA credit, since Soyeon’s a songwriter and gets songwriting credit.
I did piece together how I want the next 2 chapters to go, so I might get back to the series sooner. I do have other stuff I want to write though, and less time/motivation to write in general, so we’ll see. Thanks for reading!
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I just want to take a moment and talk about vaccines.
Not the vaccine controversy. Not the Covid-19 vaccine. Just... vaccines.
The basic concept of them is wild to begin with!
Someone noticed that people who got one disease became immune to another, more dangerous one. They learned that this was connected to why some diseases can only strike a person once, that the body has a system of striking down invaders once it knows them well enough to recognize their shape. And then they took that concept and were able to apply it to some small fraction of a disease, something that is not nearly strong enough to actually hurt a person but has the same shape of the illness it's modeled after, and turned it into something you inject directly into the body. And now your body knows that disease's shape. And now you're immune to it. Perhaps forever.
And we've used that concept to do a lot in the way of promoting public health.
You're probably aware of smallpox being eradicated. But think about it again. A vicious disease that preyed upon humanity for millennia, killed untold millions, caused plague after plague. Gone forever. At this point, many of us don't even have the scars from its eradication--but some do. Some still have a scar on their body that acts as proof that they are old enough to know of smallpox, and young enough to have been part of the campaign that destroyed it.
But did you know smallpox wasn't the only disease eradicated by vaccination?
Rinderpest doesn't get as much press, likely because it never affected humans directly, but that doesn't mean it wasn't a scourge in its own right. It killed cattle in a week or two after the first symptoms, causing them a painful, unpleasant death--and it almost always did end in death, in the end, with a mortality rate second perhaps only to rabies. And if the suffering of the cattle weren't enough, think of the cattle farmers who could only stand by and watch as their herds were ravaged by this plague, as it spread from beast to beast until there were no survivors, and the animals that they had poured so much time, energy, and attention into were nothing but diseased, rotting flesh.
And rinderpest, too, was eradicated by a worldwide vaccination campaign. Nobody ever has to worry about it anymore. Rinderpest is gone forever, just like smallpox.
We're not far off with polio, either. You probably know the old stories of polio as a threat, of children afraid to swim in pools with other children, of whole wards of hospital patients within iron lungs for their entire lives. But the vast majority of people reading this post know that only through those old stories, not through lived experience.
There are only two countries now where wild polio remains endemic. ("Wild polio" is here used to differentiate it from polio as a complication of use of the live vaccine, which does happen, unfortunately.) Those countries are Afghanistan and Pakistan, for which the reasons behind the eradication campaign's delayed success are, sadly, all too obvious. But even in those war-torn countries, a total of twelve (12) cases of polio were reported in 2023. That's a far cry from the days where it was a threat looming in every neighborhood.
We could eradicate polio in the coming years, too. We're not far off. It's been complicated by politics and logistics, but we've already overcome a lot of the same. Soon, polio might become just another historical footnote.
All because one scientist noticed that the milkmaids who got cowpox never seemed to get ill during smallpox epidemics. And all because humanity as a whole banded together and campaigned to eradicate diseases for good with this new knowledge.
It's not just polio, either. If we all worked together, we might be able to eradicate measles, mumps, rubella... it'll never be all diseases, not even close--some mutate too fast, others have too many wild animal hosts--but with a bit of a push we can take a few more of those diseases that ruined countless lives across human history and turn them into a historical footnote and curiosity, names that once inspired terror becoming merely quaint and old-fashioned.
Isn't that a wonderful thought?
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The blood thing is confusing, so they aren't related cause blood transfusions don't make the receptor and donor related but it's presented on the play as a bloodline/family tree thing? And do you still think el and Henry can be related outside of the blood transfusions?
It's presented very ambiguously!
Brenner says that Henry's as much a father to the children as he is in relation to the blood transfusions. I know in earlier showings they specified that Henry met the woman who was pregnant with 002, and that the mothers had been receiving transfusions. However, in the showings I saw, Brenner only says that 10 children had survived the transfusions. He never mentions mothers (the mentions of pregnant women only show up in one newspaper scrolling past at like. light-speed).
Which...You truly are preaching to the science choir here, Nonnie (and I say that lovingly). The blood thing has been fucking with me for a hot minute because, well...it straight up doesn't work like that, unless you start majorly stretching biology.
Brenner says Henry has a totally unique blood type, the same blood type Brenner Sr. had after his time in Dimension X in 1943. It caused Brenner Sr. to reject all blood types for transfusions. Which...this could make Henry a universal donor, I won't write that off entirely, but it's unlikely, imo, given that Brenner mentions survival rate. This means some of the babies rejected the blood transfusions and died (whether they received it via their mother or otherwise).
So it becomes more likely that they'd be looking for kids who have a predisposition to surviving the transfusions of the unique blood.
And that, my dearest Nonnie, is genetic.
So while there may be some wild-caught kids like Kali, it's likely there are also direct descendants.
On that note:
I feel like there's definitely still some confusion about the purpose of the transfusions, specifically in the way of correlation vs causation irt powers...so I thought I'd toss my 2¢ in.
Based on TFS canon so far, Brenner is intent on exploring Dimension X to further his father's work. But in order to do that, he needs subjects that can survive it. Imo, he's looking for what made Henry able to survive whatever happened to him.
From what I've gathered, the transfusions seem to be less about giving children psionic powers and more about either collecting children who are predisposed to survival in Dimension X (akin to antibiotic resistance in microbes), or predisposing them to it (like a particularly harsh vaccine that only a select few survive, which is still a genetic/selective trait...just with an extra step: do they survive the vaccination?).
The fact that these children survived the blood transfusions and have psionic powers, many of which are shared abilities, makes me think there's some specific trait in these children's biological makeup that makes them predisposed to both characteristics. The children that survived the blood also have powers, in what seems to be all cases. Children who present these powers are more likely to tolerate transfusions, and vice versa. Correlation, not causation.
Thus, I firmly don't believe the blood transfusions gave the children abilities. I think it acts as a screening process, and the psionic abilities are a correlative marker of that ability to survive Henry's blood.
We do the same thing in microbiology all the time. Selective media. Grow the culture on a medium that's deadly to anything that doesn't have the desired trait, and whatever grows is the desired microbe (see: mannitol salt agar for pathogenic staphylococci). The medium didn't cause the microbe to change in order to survive, the microbe was just predisposed to surviving exposure to the selective agent. Correlation, not causation.
tl;dr: I think the transfusions are a selection technique, a screening process, to ensure Brenner gets the most important trait: Survival in Dimension X.
The children are all genetically similar in that trait, which leads to "you're a father to them irt your blood". It's a shared genetic trait between Henry and the children, whether it came from him via sex cells or if it evolved wild-caught. They all have his blood...blood like his. And what's the most efficient way to select for a genetic trait? A breeding program. So yes, I do still think some version of Henry and El are related.
(This isn't even getting into the music choices, with Henry singing TYBTM to baby El, which is the same song his blood-parent mother sang to him as a child, or the casting choices irt: Jamie and Millie. There's the blood stuff, and then there's the Everything Else about Henry and El.)
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Medicine in Castlevania
Had a talk about this topic with @autumnmobile12 and promised I was gonna write a bit about it.
There is the big question, what kind of medicine the vampires have available in the Netflix version of Castlevania. After all Lisa goes to Dracula to learn about medicine and does so. And we know that the knowledge available is far ahead of the time that the series is set (mainly 1475 and 1476).
We see a lot of chemical equipment in Dracula's laboratory, but of course we cannot say, what it does.
The one thing we know is that they know about antibiotics. This is based on Lisa giving the old woman in the village a medication for her cough made from mold. Which is fairly certainly penicillin.
Given how penicillin in the real world was discovered, we can assume two more things from this. In the real world it was discovered, by some spores from a certain kind of mold (one, that primarily grows on melons and sometime on citrus fruits) getting on a petri dish, where they were cultivating bacteria cultures, and then killing the bacteria. Hence, them knowing about penicillin does imply that they know about how to grow bacteria cultures - and hence know about bacteria. After all you would not give someone antibiotics without knowing about bacteria!
Another thing we know is, that Lisa in her own laboratory in Lupu has a centrifuge. Usually centrifuges are used either in some chemical processes, but more likely is, that it is used in blood tests. Which would make it clear that they have some knowledge of the components of blood. This also does imply that they can draw blood in a somewhat orderly manner.
So, in the real world penicillin was discovered in 1928, while blood tests go back to the 18th century.
Some other stuff that was discovered medically in the early 20th century would be insulin (which originally was made from the organs of animals, which I absolutely could see to be something that the vampires in Castlevania have figured out) and vitamins and their importance for the human body.
In the about 100 years before that, other important stuff was discovered. Aspirin being one such thing, as it was originally made from the bark of willow and I very much assume that they have already access to. X-Rays, too, being such a thing. Though I am not entirely certain about these, because while they do have electricity, I am not entirely certain how much they understand about electricity. Something I am rather certain about is general anesthesia, which was discovered in 1849 in the real world.
Vaccines were discovered technically in 1799, but it took until 1890s, until they figured out to prepare dead vaccines, that would just train your immune system, instead of giving your a minor infection. But yes, I am fairly certain that they do know about vaccines.
Some other discoveries, that would be around in the 1920s, are kinda dependend on how well the understanding of electricity is. Because the only electricity we see is in electric light. So, it is hard to say whether they have electro cardiography for example. Though obviously it would help with the survivability of surgery.
I am not entirely certain, whether they might have some other medications that need modern chemical equipment.
Another thing I am fairly certain they have, is proper microscopes, given that those go back really far back and even in the middle ages they had some good ones and they probably have access to much better ones in this world.
But just to imagine, how much the knowledge of bacteria, fungi and maybe viruses would help survivability. Just knowing to desinfect hands before a surgery (something we see Lisa do) and such would do a lot. Heck, antibiotics would greatly help the survivability of the black death and of course vaccines would do so much more. So, if they really end up sharing that knowledge in the end of the series, the next few centuries would have a very different outcome.
(I might also ramble a bit about technology in that world, if anyone is interested.)
Tagging @udaberriwrites and @lena-hills, too, because they might be interested.
#castlevania#castlevania netflix#history#history of medicine#worldbuilding#medicine#headcanon#castlevania headcanon#antibiotics#pain killers#interesting
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Can't Let You Go
Carlos Oliveira x Male!Reader
Warnings: Injury, death, angst
Won 2nd place from this post.
You didn't expect to spend almost four days trying to survive and escape a zombie infested city but that's what happened. You were a U.B.C.S. soldier and your platoon was sent in to save people but that didn't work out. As far as you were concerned, the only people alive were you, Carlos, Tyrell, Jill, and Nicholai.
You and Carlos had started dating a few months back but kept it completely secret due to most people still not being the most supportive of gay people. The confession and dates and such were done in the privacy of either yours or Carlos' apartments. You loved Carlos to death and would do anything for him and you knew he'd do the same, even if you weren't dating.
Carlos had informed you and Tyrell about what he found in Nathaniel Bard's office in the hospital and wanted one of you to go with him and one of you to stay with Jill. You decided to go with Carlos since Tyrell looked like he could use the break. That was unfortunately the last time you both saw Tyrell.
The underground lab was full of zombies but you both managed but ended up nowhere near getting a vaccine or anything. You both found yourselves helping Jill fight the monster Nemesis from a control panel. Then chasing down Nicholai since he stole the vaccine Jill made and was about to leave the three of you to die.
Carlos had gotten to him first and put up a fight but Nicholai managed to get the upper hand and knocked Carlos out. You tried to attack him with your knife but that also didn't work out. Nicholai shot you in the abdomen, you fell backwards and tried to stop the bleeding by forcefully holding the bullet wound.
Your hearing and vision became somewhat of a blur and you heard a few gunshots near you until you felt someone grab you and hold you. The person held you tight and was saying something but couldn't hear it at first. Your vision cleared a bit and you saw Carlos, he looked scared and a little tired.
"Hey, (Y/N). Can you hear me?" Carlos asked, cupping your face.
You nodded before coughing up some blood, Carlos put some pressure on the wound once he saw where it was.
"Listen, you're gonna be okay. I'm... I'm gonna get you out of here, I'll take you to a hospital and everything will be okay." Carlos said, his voice becoming shaky.
"Carlos..." You muttered, knowing that none of that was gonna happen. "Stop lying..."
"I'm not. Come on, I've gotta--" Carlos tried to pick you up.
"No, just go." You said, pushing Carlos away a little.
"I'm not leaving you here." Carlos said, still trying to pick you up.
"Carlos, there isn't time." You said before coughing again. "Just go, please."
Carlos began to protest again but you stopped him by kissing him, making his full attention go to you.
"I love you, but I'd love you more if you'd go and find someone better for you." You said, trying to smile.
Carlos shook his head before Jill grabbed him and started pulling him away. Carlos kept saying stuff but you were too tired to listen or watch.
Things went silent after the helicopter left, it was just you all alone. You didn't know where Nicholai went off to but because of how silent it was, you were assuming he died or managed to get away. The sun was starting to rise and you had just enough strength to find where the sun was and watch it rise before nothing. No more pain, no light, no sound, nothing.
You were gone.
Carlos and Jill were still in the helicopter but had found a place to land and stay for a little. They had been quiet since landing but they both knew why. Jill was the first one to even say anything.
"I'm sorry." Jill said before sighing. "I'm sorry for everything."
"It isn't your fault. It'd be one thing if you made the virus but you didn't." Carlos replied, he wasn't the same since he left.
"That (Y/N) guy, he a good friend of yours?" Jill asked, she didn't see much of you except at the end.
Carlos was just about to say "Yes" but stopped himself and decided to just be honest. "A little more than friends. We, uh... we were boyfriends." Carlos said, avoiding eye contact with Jill.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know." Jill said, she sounded like she was about to cry.
"No one knew. We kept it a secret because we didn't wanna risk either one of us getting hurt." Carlos said, shrugging a little.
Jill didn't say anything after that, she felt terrible about everything. Carlos was grieving in a silent way but he was still upset. He didn't know how he could move on, or even if he could.
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your nancy wheeler whump is incredible, ty for the food
— sincerely, a nancy wheeler fan who is also a whump enjoyer
About this post, I think.
Omg anon hiii i'm so happy you liked it!! 🥰🥰 Nancy is such a whumpeable character, maybe because shes so broken inside already 💕 she's just a scared wet cat who needs to be wrapped up in a warm blanket.
A few headcanons for youuuu 💕💕
Robin's parents will be out of town for a few months (they're visiting family far away), so she has the house all to herself, and since the Wheelers are gone and Nancy has nowhere to go, that's where they take her.
Steve and Robin spend a long time looking for the Wheelers. They make a hundred phone calls a day but they keep hitting dead ends. The Wheelers left Hawkins shortly after Nancy was "confirmed" dead, and Mike quickly lost contact with his friends. Finding them has become impossibly difficult, and Steve and Robin worry that they'll never get to tell them Nancy is alive. Nancy misses them like crazy.
The party gets involved super quickly - Lucas, Dustin and Will, as well as the two new kids, Max and El. The boys all cry when they see Nancy, and to Nancy it feels like having siblings again, three new little brothers to try to fill in the space left by Mike and Holly. Max and El just want to help - they're excited to finally meet Nancy Wheeler, Mike's famous sister - he never shut up about her. He always talked about how smart and brave she was and how nothing has been the same since she died. Nancy was a bit surprised to know Mike said that about her, and it only makes her cry. She misses her brother so much.
Max in particular spends a lot of time with Nancy. She helps take care of her when Steve and Robin can't.
Will makes a lot of drawings for Nancy, and she keeps them all by her bedside. She particularly loves the one portraying her family - Mom, Mike, Holly, yes, even her dad.
Nancy experiences a lot of ugly withdrawal symptoms after having been on drugs so heavily for so long. Lots of vomiting and headaches.
Hopper gets involved in her case. She tells him everything, and he begins his investigation. He visits every now and then - it's in his nature. Up until two years ago, he was a father without daughter, and Nancy is a daughter without parents and a sister without siblings. It's only natural when El shows up at Robin's house to spend more and more time with Nancy, happy to have an older sister figure, even if she takes care of Nancy more than Nancy takes care of her. And it's only natural for Hopper to visit a few times a week to ask how she's doing and make sure all her needs are met.
Joyce is overjoyed to hear she's alive, and soon joins Steve and Robin in their search for the Wheeler's new number. She brings food whenever she can and instantly takes on a motherly role in Nancy's life. She agrees that it's best for Nancy to stay at Robin's for the time being, since Joyce and Jonathan spend a great deal of time at work and she'd be all alone for most of the time, but she plans on taking her to live with them when Richard and Melissa Buckley come back.
Jonathan awkwardly tries to help as well - he's often busy with work, but he stops by whenever possible to see if she needs anything. Nancy appreciates that.
Nancy hates appearing weak, but she's set off by the smallest thing - the party's boys hi-fiving each other reminds her of the way soldiers raised their hands to hit her. Steve's loud laughter reminds her of the way the general used to laugh when she cried. Out of the house, she's terrified of needles and hates getting blood tests or vaccines, and going to the dentist is paralyzing - the clattering of the instruments on the metal tray, the shapes of them so similar to the ones they used to rip her nails out, the horrible feeling of foreign objects in her mouth... she has two reactions to these things: she either freezes or she breaks. Freezing includes being almost completely non-verbal, trembling slightly but obeying every order. Breaking includes a lot of crying and panicking.
Her sleep schedule is all messed up - sometimes she can't sleep for more than three hours. Sometimes she blacks out for 18 hours straight. She can never seem to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day, and she often suffers from nightmares.
She likes cuddling with either Steve or Robin, or even better, both of them. Sandwiched between the two of them, she almost feels like a little kid sleeping between her parents.
Robin really really really didn't like bathing Nancy, or helping her dress up. It feels like she's taking advantage of her. She feels the same when she shares a bed with her. Steve is the one to largely take care of Nancy when it comes to those things. They're still dating, technically, though at this point Nancy can't say she feels love for him. She clings to him because he's familiar, and he loves her, and he makes her feel safe. She appreciates him and cares deeply about him, but if she's honest with herself... she can't love him. She can't bring herself to say that to Steve, of course - after everything he's done for her, she just... tries so hard to convince herself she loves him in the way she's supposed to.
She actually quite enjoys Robin's company, and in part, she'd prefer it if it was her doing all of this for her. Robin can't bring herself to refuse when Nancy asks. They've slept together many times, Nancy cuddled into her chest. It makes Robin's heart ache, but she pushes those feelings down - creep, she thinks to herself. Freak. Pervert. Last thing Nancy needed was a person she trusted secretly lusting after her like a... like the dyke she was.
Nancy realizes she's not having a nice dream at the end of her first day after being rescued. She's drinking a cup of tea with Robin, talking about mindless things - Robin just wanted to make her feel comfortable and she supposed keeping it simple would be best, so she tells her about band and the time she passed out during a school play audition from the nerves. And Nancy looks down at her cup, feels its heat in her hands and the sweet taste in her mouth, and the soft texture of Robin's clean clothes on her skin. She hears the crickets outside, the creaking of the wooden floorboards when Robin paces, and it dawns to her that she is free. She suddenly breaks into tears, and Robin freaks out - calls Steve - and they both try her best to comfort her. Nancy hugs herself - she wants her mother and brother and little sister, it breaks her heart to know they left, that they thought her dead. But somehow, in Robin and Steve's arms, she feels warm. Safe, for the first time in years.
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