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awritingtree · 4 years

Text

Always have

James Potter x reader

Summary: James and Y/N have always been two peas in a pod, never straying far from the other. Even through James’ endless pining and ramblings about his ‘Lilyflower’, Y/N never left his side. But what happens when Lily’s rejections go too far one day? And what happens when Y/N realizes she’s starting developing feelings for her best friend?

Words: ~5.8k (oops?)

Warnings: fluff, angst, a bit of cursing, pining, making out

A/N: I did not expect it to be this long, I swear. This isn’t the best, especially the angst. I just didn’t know what to write because I kept with both sides of the argument. Anyways, I hope you like this <3

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Important! I just want to say that I have nothing against Slytherins. I love all houses. This was purely for the fic and nothing else. No hate <3

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5th year

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Y/N Y/L/N, otherwise known as the self-proclaimed Marauders, could be found near the back of the Transfiguration classroom on a cold morning in the middle of January. It was unusually quiet for a room filled with more than one of the Marauders. The night before yesterday had been a full moon and all the four friends were still exhausted from helping their friend with his furry little problem.

James suddenly sat up from the desk he was laying his head on, trying to catch up on some sleep before the day started.

“Hey Evans! Go-,” he started.

“No,” said a voice sharply in response.

“You didn’t even let me finish what I was going to say, Evans,” said James, a cheeky smile painting his lips.

“No, I will not go out with you, Potter!” Lily Evans replied, not even bothering to glance at him.

James huffed and looked away as Sirius, Peter and Y/N tried to hold back their snickers behind their hands. James rolled his eyes at the sight of his idiotic best friends and laid down onto the desk, his head in his arms.

He felt a hand squeeze his upper arm. “Hey, don’t worry. She has to come around at some time.” He twisted his head to the side to look at Y/N, a hint of a smile still on her face from the transpired events. “And even if she doesn’t, it’s her loss,” she shrugged, her hand returning back to her side.

Before James could go off on a rant about how it wouldn’t be his Lilyflower’s loss, it would be his loss, Professor McGonagall’s voice drifted through the classroom, beginning the lesson for the day.

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“It’s been years and she hasn’t shown even the slightest bit of interest. Are you ever going to give up, Prongs?” Peter questioned as the Marauders walked from their last lesson, Potions, towards the Gryffindor common room.

“She’s interested, Wormtail. She’s just playing hard-to-get. I’ll wear down though, I know it. After all, how can-” James started off before a certain redhead distracted him.

“Hey Evans! Go to Hogsmeade with me?” James called after Lily.

“Never in a million years,” said Lily swiftly, rushing away from any more potential offers to go to Hogsmeade from an arrogant toerag.

“See, that means she is thinking about the possibility of us happening after a million years,” said James smiling wistfully.

Sirius groaned at James’ response to, yet, another rejection and grabbed Y/N’s hand. “Come on, darling. I need your help in getting that girl from Hufflepuff to go out with me this weekend,” he said as he dragged her away.

“Why me!? Ask James for his help!”

“I’d luck out of all future dates with Prongs’ help if his experience with Lily has anything to say,” muttered Sirius to Y/N, hoping James wouldn’t hear.

“HEY!” they heard James exclaim from behind. Sirius laughed, quickly turning around the corner of the hallway before James could throw a shoe, or something, at his head.

6th year

“Today’s the day. I know it. She’s going to say yes. She has to. She’s been throwing looks at me all day,” James rambled to Sirius, sitting in front of the Gryffindor common room’s fireplace on a Friday evening.

“And by throwing looks, he means glaring and plotting his murder,” said Remus, as he turned a page of the book in his hands. James jerked his head up as the portrait hole opened up, sighing sadly when he realized it was another student, returning from the library by the looks of it.

Y/N looked up at James from the ground, where she sat doing her Arithmancy homework. “James, I don’t think it’s the best idea to ask her out again. After what happened last year,” she trailed off.

“She’s over that,” he said hesitantly. “She has to be, right? I mean, they don’t even talk anymore. And she refuses to forgive him."

"Even if they don't talk anymore, they were best friends. And what you guys did was wrong."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter winced, looking down in shame.

"I know. And we are sorry," James looks down guiltily, looking like a kid caught for stealing cookies. Y/N smiled softly at the sight.

"I know. But she doesn't. And she's not going to want to listen to anything any of you have to say right now."

But James was not listening, for Lily had just walked into the common room with Marlene and Alice. He stood up, a determined look on his face.

Realizing what James was about to do, Y/N reached out to hold him back, "James don't-"

Paying no mind to Y/N, James marched over to a corner of the room where Lily sat, laughing at something Marlene said.

“He’s got a death wish,” said Sirius as he watched his brother walk towards his impending doom.

"Fancy seeing you here, Lilyflower," James said, leaning against a chair, a cocky smirk on his face. Lily looked up, a sour look overcoming her face after seeing who was next to her. "What do you want, Potter?" she asked with a snarky tone.

"You. Me. Hogsmeade. Tomorrow."

Lily scoffed and looked away from him.

"What? Did I say something funny?" James asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Just the fact that you think I'll agree to go anywhere with you."

“Now why would that be funny. We all know it’s going to happen sooner or later,” he said, you know, like an idiot; thinking it would make the situation better. Upon getting no response, James tried again, “Oh come on, Evans, you know- “

Lily stood up abruptly, an angry look over her face. “I knew you were an arrogant, good-for-nothing toerag but I did not take you to be daft. I don’t know what it will take for you to understand that I will never ever go out with you. You think you’re so high and mighty when you’re nothing but a bully! You’re no better than those Slytherins! I hate you. I would rather die than go out with the likes of you,” spit Lily venomously.

The entire common room fell silent at her words. James stood in shock, his limbs forgetting how to function. All he could do is stare at his Lilyflower with a hurt look. The silence was broken by the sound of a book being slammed onto a table which seemed to do the trick and snap James out of his shocked state. He turned on his heel and headed out the portrait hole without sparing anyone a glance, not even his brother and best friends.

“What is wrong with you!?” shouted Y/N as she approached Lily. Sirius, Remus and Peter sat wide-eyed, internally praying for someone to come and save Lily from Y/N’s wrath.

“How dare you!? Got your revenge for your precious Severus, have you, by humiliating him publicly!? I get that you don’t like James and he’s not exactly been the kindest to Snape but that was just cruel! He did not deserve that, nobody does. You may not see it, but James is one of the most kind-hearted and best people out there. I honestly pity you for not seeing anything good in him. Although, I do find it strange how up until last year, you could find the good in Snape no matter what he did or said but for some reason, James is always the devil incarnate. I honestly don’t know what he sees in the likes of you,” seethed Y/N. She turned around heading to the portrait hole, fuming.

She suddenly paused, turning to face Lily, “You know if him asking you out bothered you so much, you could have sat down with him and made him understand maturely and firmly that you were not interested when he clearly failed to take a hint. But the fact that you kept saying no but not taking it any further to make him stop his pursues makes me wonder if you like all his attention after all.”

Without waiting for Lily to form a coherent response, Y/N stormed out of the Gryffindor common room. Slowly, quiet murmurs started to fill the silence left behind by the raging Y/N; everyone discussing the events that had taken place a few moments ago right in the centre of the common room.

Sirius looked at Remus with wide eyes, “Should we go after-?”

Remus shook his head, “I think it’s best if we let her find James. She’s the only person that can comfort him right now and he’s the only one that will be able to calm her down.”

Y/N shivered making her way up to the Astronomy Tower. ‘Should’ve run out with a blanket,’ she thought grumpily, rubbing her arms trying to keep warm.

“Aw is ickle Jamsie sad because his Lilyflower said no again?” she heard the unmistakable voice of Peeves in the distance.

Y/N rushed up the rest of the stairs. “Leave him alone Peeves,” she said as soon as she was within hearing distance.

She entered the Astronomy tower to see Peeves floating up to her. “Oh, lookie here. It’s Jamsie’s girlfriend come here because his Lilyflower upset him,” he said in a mocking baby voice.

‘That doesn’t make any bloody sense’ thought Y/N. She looked at Peeves dead in the eye and sternly said, “I mean it, Peeves. Go away or I’ll call the Bloody Baron.”

Peeves rolled his eyes and left through the wall grumbling, “You’re no fun.”

Y/N slowly walked to the edge of the tower, where James stood leaning against the railings looking out at the night sky. She leaned against the railings next to him. It was a cold, clear night. The stars twinkled against the velvet black background. The stars looked near enough to grasp with the stretch of an arm from where they stood. The crescent moon hung in the sky, lighting up the dark world in a soft, dim bluish glow. A sudden cold breeze blew her hair onto her face and into her mouth, obstructing the beautiful view in front of her eyes. She spat out her hair, her hands trying to stop the breeze from blowing her hair onto her face.

James chuckled watching her struggle before he turned her around so that her back was facing him. He gathered her hair in one hand and held his other hand out. Y/N removed a hair tie from her wrist putting it on James’ outstretched hand. She waited as he carefully tied her hair into a low ponytail before turning around to get a look at his face. She felt her heart crack at the heartbroken look on his face. She quickly wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. James reacted instantly, his hands finding their place around her waist whilst he buried his face in her neck. Cold tears wet her neck as she felt James’ shoulders shake with sobs causing her to pull him closer and hold onto him more tightly.

They stood there for a few minutes, or it could’ve been a few hours. It didn’t matter to Y/N; as long as James felt better, she would spend all eternity there holding him as he let out his sorrows.

After a while, James pulled away from Y/N, his hands still wrapped around her waist. Y/N moved her hands from his shoulders to gently cradle his face. Her thumbs wiped off the tears on his cheeks as he silently looked down at her.

“She doesn’t deserve you, Jamey,” she whispered, her eyes looking into his. She reached up to fix the glasses sitting crooked on James’ face. James didn’t reply for a while. He continued to look down upon his best friend. Her nose and cheeks red with cold, lips drawn into a frown; her eyes sparkling from the moonlight reflecting off her unshed tears.

“But what if she’s the best I can do?” his voice hoarse from crying.

“I don’t believe that. You are a wonderful human being, James. You are smart and kind. You are brave, chivalrous and a true Gryffindor. You sneak out to the kitchens when one of your friends is feeling low and is in need of some hot chocolate. You are ready to drop anything and everything when someone asks you for help. You became an illegal Animagus so that your friend wouldn’t be alone during his worst moments. You would sacrifice yourself for those you care about without any hesitation. I cannot, for a second, believe that Lily Evans is the best you can do,” said Y/N.

James searched her face for any hint of a lie or doubt in what she said, but there was none. James felt a small smile creep onto his face. He leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you, Y/N/N,” he mumbled, his lips still pressed against her forehead.

He pulled away, moving to sit down with his feet dangling off the edge of the tower. He looked up at Y/N, “Care to join me, love?”

Y/N smiled widely and quickly sat down. She shifted close to James, resting her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, resting his head on top of hers. They stayed like that, gazing at the stars above them.

“Can I tell you something? Full disclosure, but don’t feel offended,” Y/N spoke after a while, lifting her head up with a hesitant look on her face.

James turned away from the sky to look at her. “Of course, Y/N/N. You know you can always tell me anything.” His eyes scanned her face curiously, trying to decipher what she might want to talk about but found nothing.

“I just-” Y/N paused. She closed a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to prepare herself for what she was about to say. She didn’t know how James would react. Would he get mad? Would he hate her? Would he never speak to her again? There was no way to really know.

James, on the other hand, felt concern. What could Y/N possibly have to say that would get her so nervous? Is she okay? Did something happen to her, but he was too busy prancing about fawning over Lily to notice? He really hoped that was not the case.

“I just think you should maybe decide to move on. You’ve been asking Lily out for years and she has yet to show any interest. Truthfully, she treats you like shit, James,” said Y/N, looking over his shoulder not daring to look at him, fearing his reaction. Maybe that’s why she wasn’t sorted in Gryffindor (or just ignore this sentence if you are a Gryffindor).

“So, you think I should just give up?” questioned James with an underlying tone of irritation. “You-”

Y/N cut him off abruptly, “No, of course not! What I mean is I think you need to stop setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment. You deserve happiness in your life, and I don’t Lily is going to give you that happiness.”

James removed his arm from Y/N’s shoulder and turned around to face the night sky again. Y/N sighed and made a move to stand up, but a hand gripping on her forearm stopped her.

Her eyes trailed the hand up to look at a confused-looking James. “Where are you going?”

“I thought you won’t want me around right now,” Y/N admitted anxiously, looking down at the floor.

“Just because you said something I don’t want to particularly agree with doesn’t mean I don’t want you around Y/N,” James said softly, gently tugging her arm telling her to sit back down.

Smiling, Y/N took a seat next to James, again.

“Just think about it okay?” she said after a while.

“I will,” sighed James. He turned his head to the side to shoot her a small grin.

7th year

Y/N didn’t know when it happened. She didn’t know when she, Y/N Y/L/N, started having feelings for her best friend, James Potter. Was it recently? Or were those feelings always there but she never realized it? “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” muttered Y/N angrily to herself. “How could you fall for your best friend!? Especially right after he seems to be moving on from his long-time crush?”

“Hey Y/N/N.” Y/N jumped at the voice and feeling of an arm around her shoulder. She looked to the side to see Remus looking at her with an amused look.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Of course, Remy. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Other than the fact that your voice suddenly became high-pitched, you were talking to yourself there earlier.” Y/N cursed at herself internally. She was really hoping he wouldn’t’ve noticed. Unfortunately, this was Remus, he noticed everything.

“I’m fine. Just stressed. Nothing to worry about,” she said with a forced smile as she continued to walk towards the DADA classroom with Remus.

Remus shot her an unconvinced look. Before he could question her any further, Sirius interrupted them. “Moony! Why’d you leave so quickly? We were just getting to the good part of the planning!”

James and Peter came running behind him, out of breath. Y/N’s eyes connected with James’, staring at each other. Y/N felt her face burning as she looked at the beautiful boy in front of her. They only snapped out of their gaze when Peter asked, “You okay there, Prongs? Your face looks pretty red.”

James’ face flushed a deeper red as he mumbled, “It’s nothing.” He stumbled into the classroom, taking a seat at the very back. He placed his hands on his cheeks, trying to cool his face. ‘What an idiot,’ he thought.

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“Today, we shall be brewing the Memory Potion as a review from last year,” announced Slughorn. “You will work in pairs with the person sitting beside you. I shall be grading this as your second test; therefore, you cannot refer to your textbooks. You can get started right away. Good luck everyone!”

James got up mumbling, “I’ll get the ingredients, you can set everything up.” He walked away awkwardly without waiting for a response from his partner.

He soon returned; his hands filled with all the ingredients needed for the potion. Y/N having already set up the cauldron, was writing the recipe down from memory in her book so that they didn’t miss any steps preparing the potion. They got to work as soon as she was done. They worked in silence, knowing exactly what to do to not get in the way of the other but still work as a team.

Y/N searched for the mortar and pestle to crush the sage when a hand holding onto exactly what she needed stretched out to her. James smiled at her sheepishly.

“Thank you,” she mumbled, taking the mortar and pestle. Their fingers brushed lightly. Electricity spread through their bodies from the small amount of contact. Y/N started to crush the sage into a fine powder, attempting to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. Little did she know, James was going through the same struggle.

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“Hurry! Wormtail won’t be able to hold him off for long.”

“Shut up! It’s almost-” he said finishing off their masterpiece with a sticking charm. “There. It’s done.”

James and Sirius stepped back to admire their work.

“Achoochoo!”

“I can’t believe we agreed that would be the warning,” exclaimed Sirius as he ran away from the direction of the heavy footsteps.

“It’s not like ‘Meowie-ow’ was a better choice,” James pointed out. Turning a corner, he toppled over, bringing down whatever it was that he bumped into.

“Ow!” a voice cried out from underneath. There was Y/N, underneath him, with him lying on top of her. Her hair was left loose in its natural waves, face free of any makeup. She smelled like sandalwood, he observed. She wore a blue jumper, his cheeks coloured scarlet as he recognized the jumper as his. She looked mesmerizing. His eyes drifted across her face to her lips. And he started to lean in.

Y/N stared wide-eyed at the sight of James on top of her. His jet-black hair was messy as it always was. He wore a green jumper which brought out the hazel colour of his eyes. She loved the colour of his eyes. She noticed his eyes glance at her lips before starting to lean in. She thought he was going to kiss her for a moment before-

“Godric Y/N/N! I’m so sorry,” he apologized, moving to get off her, stopping himself from ruining a friendship. He leant her a hand to pull her up from the ground, putting a hand on her waist to steady her. Time seemed to stop as their eyes connected. The sounds faded into nothing and the things around them seemed to melt away. All James could see was Y/N and all Y/N could see was James.

The sound of a throat being cleared had them jumping apart, realizing that they had been leaning in again. Y/N reached down to collect the books that flew out of her hands when she crashed to the ground, her head hurting from the impact.

“He-here let me help,” stuttered James, kneeling down to help her collect her books.

“Thank you,” she said softly. James smiled at her bashfully, handing her books back.

“I-um. I should go,” said Y/N.

“Yeah. I should too,” replied James.

None of them moved for a small period of time. Y/N smiled at James before walking away in the direction she came from. James stared after until she climbed up the stairs at the end of the corridor.

“So, what was that about?” asked Sirius. James turned around to see his brother standing there with a knowing smirk on his face.

“What was what?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You like Y/N.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” James brushed off Sirius.

“Don’t lie to me! I am your brother. I know exactly what it’s like when you like someone.”

James continued to look at him with a blank look. Sirius looked back with a pointed look saying, ‘Don’t lie to me.’

“Okay fine, yes. I like her,” admitted James in a quiet voice facing his feet.

“I knew it!”

James didn’t say anything, continuing to look down at his feet. Sirius stared at him. He had never seen James this way, it seemed as if he was almost shy? But that wasn’t possible, James Potter was confident, some would say cocky and arrogant. James Potter was not shy.

“You love her,” stated Sirius.

James sighed and looked up at his brother.

“I think I do,” said James, ruffling his hair. “I think, maybe, I always have.”

James slid down the wall and sat down on the floor, urging Sirius to do the same.

“I realized it a few days before this year. During the summer holidays when Moony, Wormtail and Y/N/N came over. We were all in the back garden. You three were messing around with some muggle device as I was sitting down in the garden and Y/N was helping Mum with the sandwiches for lunch. I looked over her and that’s when it hit me. She looked so beautiful, Pads. Her hair was up in her usual ponytail, blowing lightly in the summer breeze. The sun lighting up her face as she laughed at something Mum said. I don’t know what they were talking about, it doesn’t matter, but the smile on her face took my breath away. When I saw her and Mum interacting, I just- I realized I want to see them interact like that, like mother and daughter, for the rest of my life.”

Sirius gawked at James from this sudden revelation before shaking himself out of it. “You should tell her how you feel, James.”

“No, I can’t,” James shook his head, then pushed his glasses, that almost fell off, up his nose. “Every time I’m around her, my breath gets stuck in my throat and I can barely breathe yet talk.”

James groaned and buried his face into his hands. “How stupid am I?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all. But I do think you’re stupid to not tell her,” said Sirius, patting James on the back. “You need to tell her, mate. For your sake and hers.”

James contemplated; he thought out all the ways telling her how he felt could go wrong. Then he thought about all the ways it could go right. He nodded.

“I will.”

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“Hello darling.”

Y/N looked up to see Sirius sitting across from her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked suspiciously.

“What? I can’t come and spend time with my favorite girl?” asked Sirius, a mocking hurt look on his face.

Y/N rolled her eyes at his dramatics, “No, it’s just that you’re here. Alone in the Library. Without any of the others. I have a right to be suspicious with all of your history.”

Sirius chuckled, “We’re not pulling a prank on you, I promise. I actually came here to talk to you about something.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow in question, gesturing to him to go on.

“You like James, and I want to know why you haven’t told him yet.”

Y/N started to cough, choking on air. She didn’t know what she was expecting but it was not that.

“What gives you that absurd idea?” she squeaked out.

“Um the reaction you just gave and the way you look at him when you think no one’s watching; like he put the stars and moon in the sky.” Y/N felt her cheeks heat up at his words. “The funny thing is, he would bring them all to the ground for you if you asked.”

Y/N stayed quiet. Sirius had to be joking, right?

“I’m not joking, darling.”

“Then I think you’re wrong in what you see. He couldn’t possibly like me,” Y/N countered.

“And why would you think that?” asked Sirius, leaning back on his chair.

“He can’t, Sirius. I mean, look at the type of girls he likes. Lily Evans; beautiful, smart, kind, head girl. I’m nothing compared to her.”

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. How could she think that? Sure, she wasn’t head girl, but she was a Prefect. And maybe Y/N could come off as mean at times, but she was the sweetest thing when she isn’t angry. She was just as beautiful, just as smart, just as kind as Lily, if not more.

“Hey, I don’t believe that,” Sirius spoke softly, placing a hand onto hers. “You are an extraordinary person Y/N. James should be honoured to have someone like you return his feelings.”

Y/N smiled at him but with an unconvinced look causing Sirius to sigh.

“Look, why don’t we go to the kitchens and have some chocolate cake. Let’s forget about all this James business for now.”

Y/N’s smile widened at the idea. “That sounds perfect.”

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A few weeks passed by without anything happening. To say that Sirius was getting impatient and frustrated would be an understatement. He was tired of all the shy glances when the other wasn’t looking and the flirting, so subtle, that none of two realized what was happening.

James on the other hand was pretty content with how life was at the moment. He would sit next to Y/N in all the classes they shared, giving him the opportunities to look over at her as much as he wanted or cause a small ‘accidental’ brush of their hands, jolting sparks up his arm. He enjoyed the subtle flirting and her response as she flirted back, but he didn’t think she realized what she was doing. They were really close friends, after all. They had always been more affectionate and comfortable with each other than any other normal friendship.

A paper hitting the back of his head snapped James out of his daydream of kissing Y/N, how it would feel to have her run her hands through his hair.

“Tell her or I will.” said the note. James turned around to see Sirius with a serious look on his. James didn’t get a chance to reply as the bell rang, ending the lesson.

"I mean it, Prongs. Do it or I swear I will," said Sirius, walking down the corridor with James and Remus.

James looked at Remus for help, but Remus shook his head indicating he was not getting involved in this. Remus knew the two liked each other way before than they, themselves, did. He thought they suited each other perfectly and was waiting for one of them to make a move. But like Sirius, he was left disappointed and frustrated.

"Ah look, there she is" Sirius pointed in the direction where you were walking with one of your Hufflepuff friends, having got back from Herbology. Your cheeks were flushed red from the cold outside, your hair was slightly ruffled from the wind. Your uniform, however, was tidy as always; your shirt tucked in, and tie pulled up to the neck. Others might say you're prim and proper, but James adored how you always wanted things in place; neat and tidy, because 'I have enough of a mess in my head, I don't need it out here too.'

Next thing he knew, he was being shoved into a small, cramped room. The room was lit by the small amount of light seeping through the gap between the floor and the door. James could barely make out what the shelves in the room were stocked with when the door opened behind him, another person getting shoved in.

"What the fuck are you doing, Sirius!?"

Y/N.

"You both know why you're in there. And you're not getting out until it's sorted. Have fun children." They both could hear the teasing smirk on Sirius' face.

Nerves started to wash over James’ body as he realized there was no way out of this. Either he told her how he felt or Padfoot would do it for him which he was sure no one would like. He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers and took a long, deep breath hoping to calm himself.

He heard some shuffling as a small, soft hand grabbing his, hesitantly. When James made no move to pull away, Y/N intertwined their fingers. “James?” she whispered into the darkness. James took in a shaky breath, finally looking at her. She looked as nervous as he felt.

“Can I tell you something? Full disclosure,” her voice shaking.

‘Is she as nervous as I am? Is her palm sweating, or is it just mine? Godric, how is she not repulsed by how sweaty my hand is?’ James thought.

“Of course. You know you can always tell me anything,” James spoke in a hushed voice as he tried to keep his voice from shaking.

Y/N mumbled something inaudible out.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, I’m in love with you. I think I always have been,” she whispered out, eyes shifting to their conjoined hands.

James’ eyes widened upon hearing those words; those words he knew, now, that he’d been waiting years to hear; not from Lily, but from Y/N.

Something snapped inside of him.

He slammed his lips to hers and pushed her against the closed door. He moved one of his hands to her hips while the other found its place at her small of her back. His body heated up at the feeling of her lips moving against his. They were slightly chapped, but still soft, exactly how he imagined they would be.

Y/N was shocked. This was not what she thought would be happening when she confessed her feelings. She thought he would surely walk away, never to look back. What gave her the confidence to say her feelings out loud, she’ll never know, but she thanked Merlin she did. At the feeling of James’ hands against her body and his lips moving against hers, in a slow but passionate embrace; it felt like a fire lit up inside of her and was spreading, burning through her entire body. Y/N moved to run her hands through his soft hair, messing it up even more. She pulled him closer, moving her head to the side to deepen the kiss. James squeezed her hip making Y/N let out a small gasp. He took the opportunity and slid his tongue inside her mouth. James let out a groan at the feeling of her tongue against his, pushing her further against the door, leaving no space between their bodies.

Y/N held in a whimper as their lips detached. The feeling of James’ lips against her jaw, leaving kisses down her neck sent shivers down her spine. James sucked on a spot above her collarbone, eliciting a low breathy moan from Y/N. She tugged on his hair and brought his lips back to hers in a slow kiss before they pulled away from each other.

James breathed heavily, staring at the sight of a flustered Y/N against his body.

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, leaving his hand to cup the side of her face. His thumb moved soothingly against her flushed cheeks before tracing her lips.

“I don’t think, I know I always have been in love with you,” he breathed out, his eyes filled with adoration for his girl, wrapped up in his arms.

A smile spread across Y/N’s face, happiness and love shining through her eyes. She pulled him back down into a kiss. Unlike their first kiss, this one was soft and gentle, both of them trying to express years of pent up feelings to each other through the kiss.

Suddenly, the door was yanked open. Y/N fell back with a yelp and James fell on top of her.

“Detention, both of you.”

They both looked up to see Professor McGonagall peering down at them through her glasses with a disapproving glare.

“Put yourselves together and head to class. You’re already late as it is,” she said strictly before turning around to head towards her office with a hint of a smile on her face. ‘Flitwick owes me 5 galleons,” she thought happily.

Y/N gaped up at James, surprised by what had just occurred.

“Did we just get detention for snogging in a broom cupboard?”

“Reckon it was worth it,” said James with a cheeky smile before pressing his lips to hers, pulling her in for another kiss.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

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#james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter #harry potter #james potter x y/n #james potter fanfic #marauders #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #minerva mcgonagall #hp #hp imagine

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noona-clock · 5 years

Text

A Familiar Face ✨🏰 - Part 2

Genre: Harry Potter!AU

Pairing: Eric Nam x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4 | Words: 2,264

“Friday,” you sighed to yourself just after the last student left your classroom. It wasn’t quite the end of the school day yet, but it was the second-best time of the day: Lunchtime.

One thing you hadn’t enjoyed about being a student here was meal times. The Great Hall had always been full of people, and there was almost nothing you enjoyed more than a quiet meal to yourself -- or, at the very most, only a few close friends with you.

That, obviously, was never the reality at Hogwarts.

So, now that you were a teacher and could legally use magic to apparate food from the kitchen to wherever you were, you took lunch in your classroom every single weekday.

And it was marvelously lovely.

As the sounds of shuffling footsteps died off out in the hallway, all of the students making their way down to the Great Hall for their own lunch, you reached for your wand lying on your desk, preparing to conjure up a cornish pasty with some mashed potatoes and gravy. ...And a treacle tart for dessert. It was Friday, after all!

With a swirl of your wand and a silent incantation, the food popped out of thin air, appearing on your desk where your wand had just been.

But before you could sit down and tuck in, you heard a soft and relieved-sounding chuckle.

“There you are,” a familiar and heart-pounding voice said.

Your eyes quickly shifted to your doorway, landing on a very exhausted-looking Eric.

“I’ve been looking for you all week during lunch,” he admitted as he took a step inside. “Don’t know why I didn’t think to look here...”

Oh, dear.

Eric... had been looking for you? All week? Like, specifically seeking you out?

The two of you had become friends this past week, ever since that first staff meeting before the students arrived, but you never imagined he would actively look for you.

“Oh!” you said breathlessly, unable to hide your surprise. “I -- Well, I -- I tend to eat in my classroom during the week. It’s just... quieter. There are less... people.”

Eric had taken a couple of more steps into your room as you’d spoken, but when he heard your last words... he paused. His face fell just a little -- not too much, but enough for you to notice.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “I didn’t -- I’ll leave you alone, then, I’m so --”

“No!” you interrupted as you shook your head and moved toward him. “No, it’s fine. Please, of course, you’re more than welcome to join me.”

Eric paused, and even though he wasn’t standing all that close to you, you could tell he was looking adorably hesitant at the moment.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes, I’m sure,” you nodded. And, to reassure him even more, you waved your wand and conjured up an extra chair for him to sit in. “What would you like to eat?”

Eric let out a soft exhale, his lips curving into a grin as he began walking toward you again. “What are you having?” he asked.

“Cornish pasty and mashed potatoes.”

“Hmm...” he hummed, arriving at the chair you’d summoned for him. “I think I’ll have the same.”

You nodded once before waving your wand yet again, lifting your shoulders pridefully when another plate appeared on your desk.

“I added a treacle tart, too,” you explained with a shy smirk. “It’s Friday, and we have almost survived our first week of teaching for the year. We deserve it.”

Eric simply let out a whew and shook his head.

Your brows raised curiously, your lips curving down into a concerned frown as you slid into your chair. “That bad?” you asked gently.

He nodded slowly, shooting you a look which clearly said ‘yeah, that bad.’

“Is it the kids?”

“No, not the kids,” he told you. “Well. Not most of the kids. There are a few --”

“Trust me, I know exactly who you’re talking about,” you chuckled.

“It’s just... a lot more work than I realized.”

A sympathetic sigh escaped your lips, and you almost reached out to place a comforting hand on his arm... but you stopped yourself before you worked up the nerve.

“It gets easier,” you assured him. “A little... I guess you really just get used to it. But the beginning of the school year is always the hardest.”

“That’s nice to hear,” Eric murmured before picking up his fork and digging into his meal.

You took a few bites yourself, eating in silence until you came up with an idea.

“If you want... I have the perfect place to go to help ease stress,” you said hopefully, eyebrows raised just slightly. “I mean, it helps me, at least.”

Eric glanced up at you in-between bites and said, “Yeah? What is it?”

You took a breath, preparing to answer him, but... “It’s a surprise,” you said instead.

“A surprise?” Eric smirked.

You nodded, your lips curving into a grin. “A surprise. Can you meet me in front of the teacher’s wing at... 10pm?”

Eric jerked his head back slightly in wonderment. “That late?”

“I want to lessen the chance of us running into any students,” you explained. “They’re the reason for our stress in the first place, so it’s better if it’s a completely student-free experience.”

“Ah, gotcha,” Eric chuckled. “That makes sense.”

The two of you ate the rest of your meal talking about nothing in particular -- not work, though. You hadn’t seen each other a whole lot during the week since you’d both been busy with your classes, so you took this opportunity to talk about what you’d been up to since graduating from Hogwarts.

When the clock in your classroom warned you that students would be here in ten minutes (a very handy charm you’d invented and passed on to the rest of your fellow professors), Eric stood and waved his wand to clean up his plate and utensils.

“Thank you,” he said with a soft, very friendly grin. “That was really nice.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied. You could feel your cheeks warming, but you still added, “You can join me anytime, really. I don’t mind one person’s company.”

“Okay,” Eric chuckled. And before he turned to leave, he said, “Tonight? 10pm?”

You nodded, your stomach already filling with anxious butterflies even though that wasn’t going to be for another nine hours or so.

“All right, see you then,” he said, lifting one hand in a wave before turning and heading out the door.

Since you were you and you felt like you were late if you got anywhere on time, you were waiting outside of the teacher’s wing at 9:50pm that night, trying to calm your racing heart as you clutched your wand in your hands.

...Now that you were here, arriving ten minutes early had clearly been a bad idea. Ten minutes was more than enough time to overthink everything and become even more nervous than you already were.

Oh, god, you should just turn around and go back to your room, shouldn’t you?

You were honestly just about to -- your foot was even lifted up ever so slightly so you could start walking back to your room. But then Eric turned the corner, his face kind of lighting up when he saw you.

And, boy, did that make you feel wonderful.

You had no expectations that Eric had or would have any sort of romantic feelings for you, but it was enough to just know the guy. Enough to be even somewhat friends with him.

Enough to be someone who made him smile.

“So, what’s this special secret surprise of yours?” he asked in hushed tones when he got close enough to you, sliding his hands into his pockets.

“Come with me,” you grinned.

You then turned on your heel and began making your way to the other end of the castle. Your feet were quiet as you guided Eric through the corridors and up staircases, finally leading him to --

“The astronomy tower?” he asked, brow furrowed as he gazed up at your final destination.

“I find it calming,” you explained a bit bashfully, hoping he didn’t think you were totally lame. “And seeing the stars always reminds me that the universe is so massive, so how big are my problems, truly?”

When Eric turned his expression to look back at you, you saw immediately that he didn’t think you were totally lame. He actually seemed... impressed.

“I’ve never thought of that before, but it totally makes sense,” he said with a soft grin.

“You Gryffindors need to learn how to use your head more,” you teased.

“If we did, we would hardly be Gryffindors now, would we?”

“This is very true,” you conceded. “You have a very good point.”

Eric simply beamed at you, and you wasted no time in turning away and heading up the winding stairs to the tower. Your heart was absolutely no match for one of Eric’s beaming smiles.

“Oh, wow,” Eric breathed as the two of you came to stand at the railing of the tower. His head was tilted up toward the night sky, and even just glancing at him made your lips curve into a giddy smile and your heart skip a couple of beats.

“Imagine when it’s not so cloudy,” you said. You were a bit disappointed that the sky wasn’t as clear as it could’ve been, but you could still see more than a few stars. Enough to impress your guest, at least.

“No one else really comes here?” he asked, still very much in awe of his surroundings.

You shrugged, bending one knee and letting your toe tap on the tiled floor behind you. “I haven’t come across anyone.”

“You’re so right, though,” he said as he bent to rest his forearms on the railing. “It’s so... I’m not even thinking about whatever it was that was stressing me out this week.”

“See?” you chuckled, leaning over and nudging him gently with your shoulder. “I told you.”

A smirk tugged at one corner of Eric’s lips as he shifted his gaze to look at you rather than at the sky. “You realize you’re now at risk of running into someone up here, right? I’m pretty sure I’ll want to come up here as much as I possibly can.”

Your cheeks positively burned at the way he was looking at you, and you simply shrugged again. “That’s all right.”

But what wasn’t all right...?

It was starting to rain.

Those clouds in the sky had grown darker, and they were now sprinkling water droplets onto the ground.

“Don’t worry,” you assured Eric preemptively. “I have a backup plan.”

“...Why didn’t I have more Ravenclaw friends back in school? You guys could’ve helped me out of a lot of tight spots,” he said with a chuckle.

“To be honest, most of us probably would’ve come up with a plan to help and just kept it to ourselves so we could watch you suffer.”

Eric paused for a few moments before he burst out laughing. “What?! There’s no way you’re that diabolical.”

“Oh, no, I’m not,” you confirmed as you began to lead him back to the staircase. “But some of us are. We’re not Hufflepuffs for a reason.”

Eric followed you back down the spiral stairs and into the castle, keeping quiet until you approached your next destination.

“Ah, the Room of Requirement,” he murmured, standing back as you began to pace in front of the door three times. “Clever. Does it turn into the astronomy tower or something?”

“Patience is a virtue,” you reminded him.

“Okay, to throw your earlier words back at you, I wasn’t a Hufflepuff for a reason.”

You burst out laughing as you passed the door for the third time, watching as it magically shifted into a sleek, bronze door.

“Touché ,” you nodded. “Come on, let’s go.”

You opened the newly-transformed door, holding it so Eric could follow you into the small, dark room with a domed ceiling. In the middle of the floor were some of the largest and fluffiest pillows you’d ever seen. Apparently, Eric couldn’t help himself because he jogged over there and practically jumped onto the pillow pile, landing with a soft but delighted ooph.

I mean, you had to admit: the pillows were extremely inviting.

You held yourself back, though, walking over and bending down to sit quietly on top of the plush mountain. Eric was already laying on his back, cradling the back of his head in his palms with his arms bent, elbows pointing out in opposite directions.

“What am I supposed to be looking at?” he asked as you cautiously laid down beside him -- but not too close.

Instead of answering, you simply lifted your arm and pointed your wand toward the ceiling.

“Astrellus Lumos,” you murmured.

Immediately, a bright light shone from the tip of your wand, and a replica of the night sky was projected onto the dome above you.

You heard Eric let out a gasp, and you grinned goofily to yourself.

“That is awesome,” he marveled quietly. “I’ve never heard of that spell before.”

“I made it up,” you admitted, feeling shy but also quite proud of yourself.

Eric was quiet for a few moments, but then you felt him turn his head to look at you.

“Remember earlier this week when you said you weren’t cool?”

“Yes,” you answered with a breath of a chuckle.

“You’re such a liar!” he grinned, his tone nothing short of admiring and playful at the same time. “I honestly think you’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.”

You simply rolled your eyes instead of answering, and you let out a soft sigh as you settled further into the pillows.

There was no earthly way you would ever let this show on the outside, but on the inside... you were dying.

You were fairly sure you could live off this happiness for the rest of your life. Just knowing that Eric Nam thought you were one of the coolest people he’d ever met?

You had no idea what you’d done to deserve this luck, but you weren’t going to question it.

At least, not right now.

Part 3

#kwritersworldnet #eric nam scenarios #eric nam imagines #eric nam au #eric nam fluff #eric nam fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #kpop harry potter au #eric nam #kpop

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ashes-and-ashes · 5 years

Note

Prompt: 55 -'I'm not jealous' + Wolfstar = 💜💜 P.S I really love your works 💖

Hey! So, after finishing That Fateful Night, I decided to do a story revolving around The Prank. This is sort of a practice, beta-test for an idea I have for the story, so I hope you like it!!

tw for depressing and sucidical thoughts

Hatred

He hated Sirius.

Hated him, with every inch, every fiber, every strand of his body.

He hated every lock of hair that escaped his tangled bun, those familiar grey eyes, the haughty face.

Yes, Remus hated Sirius. And for a damn good reason too.

He can barely remember that night, the night everything changed. He remembered that the transformation had been relatively easy, relatively painless. He can remember the last conscious thought that passed through his mind: Tonight may not be so bad after all.

Then he woke up, James’ blood covering his body, Sirius’ face pale above his as he pleaded for Remus to listen. Snape found out. I...told him.

And that was when Remus stopped caring. Started hating. 2 months later and the pain still hadn’t stopped.

He loathed himself, sometimes, after he saw the effects of what his hatred did to Sirius. He was withering away, a silent shell of what he once was, sunken cheeks and chapped skin and hollow eyes. There were new scars on his body, though he hadn’t returned home after he ran away, blood in his knuckles and on his lips, bruised ribs and necks and cheekbones. He was so quiet now, so silent, always slipping out of the room whenever James or Peter or Remus entered, not returning to his bed until long after the sun set.

Peter had asked him, 3 weeks after the Prank, when Remus was at his lowest point. Did he matter? That much, to you?

Remus had shrugged, tying to hide the misery he felt. I don’t know. We knew it couldn’t last forever. But... I loved him. I thought he did too. It was something, and then it was nothing and now... now I don’t know.

It was funny, the way the dynamics had shifted, had decayed. Sirius was a part of them, of all of them, and his absence felt like a hole, ripping through Remus. It was hard, sometimes, to ignore what they used to be, those old habits that they had grown up with.

He’s woken up too many times to stifled sobs, knows that if he pulled back the curtains, Sirius would be there, biting his lip to keep back the screams. The nightmares never ended, though Remus never came to comfort Sirius now. Neither did Sirius, when the panic attacks came, when all James and Peter could do was awkwardly pat Remus’ back and hope he didn’t choke. It had gone both ways, the desperation, opened up new wounds.

But at the same time, he knows Sirius, knows what he’s capable of. Knows that Sirius has always had his traumas, and that he was more then capable of ending it all one day. And though Remus hated Sirius, but he didn’t want him dead.

So, he takes James’ cloak, follows Sirius out on those days he slipped off silently before dawn. He watches him, wandering aimlessly around the school, up to the astronomy towers and down to the lakes, an echoing, hopeless journey. He would trail him, silently, making sure that Sirius didn’t decide to throw himself off the tower or drown himself.

It’s one of those days, evening, when he catches Sirius slipping out of the common room. Normally, he would have ignored it, would have let him go wherever he wanted to, but there’s a look in Sirius’ eyes that makes Remus pause. It’s empty, fragile and broken, like shattered glass on a concrete floor and Remus is following him out the door almost instantly. Sirius is walking, in some large circle, passing windows and archways until finally, he arrives outside.

There’s a small corner there, a junction between two stone walls, and Sirius slumps down against it as Remus frantically finds somewhere to hide. He perches on some rock, out of sight in case someone brushed past him and watches Sirius.

He looks awful. His hair was limp, hanging around his face in a tangled mess. His lips were scabbed, bleeding slightly where he bit them and he was so thin now, thin enough that his collarbone stood out against the rest of his chest. A piece of rock, battered by the wind and water and sand, smoothing down the hard edges until there was only a small piece of curved stone. There was a frail look to him, like he could shatter any moment, and Remus’ heart aches.

He doesn’t know how long they sit there for. The night is warm, the wind cool on his face, and he lets himself lean against the pillar behind his back, stretching his legs out. It feels strange doing this, without Sirius’ comforting weight at his side, an absence like a missing limb. It’s almost painful, not having anyone to lean on, and Remus closes his eyes.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep when he hears the footsteps.

Light and casual, almost mocking, and Sirius’ eyes snap open as Snape rounds the corner. There’s a smirk on his face, arrogant and smug, and Sirius bares his teeth. “Fuck off.”

Snape shrugs. “Careful, Black. I clearly have the advantage here.”

Sirius glares at him. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean.” Snape picks at his nails, his face a mask of calm. “One little slip and I could let your boyfriend’s little...secret out to all my friends.”

Sirius grits his teeth. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. You saw to that.”

Snape laughs, mockingly. “Oh, well. If you tell anyone exactly how I saw to that...well. I suppose your ex’s little secret comes out then.”

“Fuck. Off.”

Snape just chuckles, leaning against the wall. “Language. Seeing as you basically have to do what I say for the next little bit.”

Sirius flips him off, seething as Snape smirks. “I wonder how your little friends would react,” he muses, “seeing as their closest friend is a filthy half-breed.”

Sirius flinches. “God, Snape. You’re just doing this because of Lily?”

For the first time, Snape flushes, his face turning an ugly crimson. “I never said that.”

There’s that little bit of the old Sirius coming back, the arrogance and the righteousness, the Sirius that Remus fell in love with so long ago. He leans against the wall, the cockiness filling his voice as he smirks. “You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face. You’re risking destroying someone else’s life, risking revealing his inner secrets to everyone just because you want to get Lily to go out with you?”

“Shut up!” Snape hisses, and Sirius throws back his head and laughs. “Well, regardless. She gave up on you a long time ago, Snivellus. James is....was one of my best mates - I heard her talk about you. Absolutely loathed your skinny guys for what you called her, what you did to others like her. And I don’t think she’s going to give a damn about Remus, not when there are shitballs like you around.”

Remus recognizes what Sirius is doing. He’s takin all of his hurt, those ugly, broken bits inside of him, projecting them outwards in an attempt to hurt Snape. It’s working - Snape growls, staking towards Sirius, who holds his ground. “Filthy half-breeds! Lily deserves to be associated with higher class members of society rather then some poor, Half-animal -“

“You’re just jealous.” Sirius’ voice is merciless. “Jealous, because she will never love you, because she is happy with James. And it kills you, because you are obsessed with her, you want to possess her because no one else can have her and - “

“I’m not jealous.” Snape spits the words out. “And besides, what do you know? Your boyfriend is a freak - you two belong together, deserve each other, the traitorous queer and the goddamn werewolf - “

“You’re wrong.” Sirius sounds defeated, the heartbreak in his voice so raw that Remus’ heart clenched. “I don’t deserve Remus. He’s...” Sirius shakes his head. “He deserves someone else. Someone better. Someone who’s a little less broken, a little stronger. Someone who doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night because their back aches from Crucio.” He lets out a merciless laugh. “So, you’re wrong. We don’t deserve each other. I don’t deserve Remus. He deserves a lot more then me.” He glances up, glaring into Snape’s eyes. “But I was trying. I tried, so damn hard, to be that person that Remus needed. And you took that way from me.” He spits on the ground in front of Snape. “So go. Keep lusting after Lily. She will never love you.”

Snape backs away, his face crimson. “You’re wrong. She will.”

Sirius just shrugs. “Don’t count on it, Snivellus.”

Remus follows him back, towards the dorms, his head spinning rapidly. A phrase keeps echoing in his mind, picked out from the rest of that conversation. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore. You saw to that.”

You saw to that. The words spin around in his head, an endless noise. You saw to that.

Remus just grits his teeth, racing up the stairs to the dormitory, shucking the cloak off and dumping it into James’ trunk. It could have been nothing. It could have been a misunderstanding.

But that night, when Remus heard the sobs, he didn’t turn away. He stood up, pulling his pajamas tighter around him and opened the curtains to Sirius’ bed.

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thedefinitionofbts · 7 years

Text

Our First and Last (Ch. 12 Final)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 |

Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 (Final)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (MAIN) | Park Jimin x Kim Taehyung | Jung Hoseok x Min Yoongi | Kim Namjoon x Kim Seokjin

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Soulmate Au, Scifi

Words: 3.5K

So this famous Kim Seokjin guy works in an astronomy lab by the ocean that’s located in an observatory on top of a forest covered hill.

The morning before your departure, Jungkook had come and picked you up at your quaint little apartment, a suggestion he brought up the day before, because “it would be much more convenient than meeting up at lab and leaving from there” (or so he had worded it). Your thoughts had been chaotic the night before; keeping you awake into the late hours and pulling you away from sound slumber. Would tomorrow bring new answers or would it lead to finding out things that you might be better off not knowing?

By 7am, you were almost two tired to feel nervous when you saw him pull up to the driveway in his black Audi SUV. Your morning routine had all been a blur, but as soon as you open the door to the passengers side all the traces of drowsiness vanishes when Jungkook greets you with a smile that makes the world come alive. He was dressed casually once again, which shouldn't be surprising because that’s how he’s always dressed outside of lab. But his oversized white t-shirt and distressed black jeans, brings you back into another dimension, almost quite literally too.

“I know it’s early, but the drive is going to take about four hours,” He says, with his eyes focused on the road. You can’t help but notice the way the veins in his arms pop out ever so slightly, as he holds the steering wheel with one hand, expertly maneuvering the vehicle as he drives.

“Oh it’s fine, I’m used to it” You reply lightheartedly, hoping he doesn’t hear the tiredness entangled in your voice. It’s true that you were indeed used to getting up at the early hours of dawn, you have four years of college to thank for that, but even the pending doom of having an exam the next day wasn’t enough to keep you awake as much as you had been last night.

Perhaps it was just the fact that the two of you were outside of lab, but he seemed different today, more relaxed and less professional (and no, not just because of his attire). It made you wonder what he might be thinking about, or if he had been just as restless as you had the night before.

The road trip was filled with small talk and occasional silences that were both natural and comforting. At one point, Jungkook’s eyes leave the road for a moment to look over at you, his brown doe eyes glimmering from the sunlight reflecting off of the rearview mirror and hair ruffling from salty breeze filtering through the open window, it’s a look that makes you realize just being with him now was more than enough, so you cast away the thoughts that had kept you up all night.

The observatory was a building that clearly displayed countless years of history in its weather worn walls, but despite its age being up there and the evident need for remodeling, it was nonetheless awe-inspiring. Its rounded dome peaked out above the trees and overgrown vegetation, overlooking the calm water from a cliff that juts out towards the sea. As the two of you approach the base of the building, you realize it’s much taller up close, rising up from the ground and opening up to the clear blue sky.

“I could smell a couple of love birds from a mile away” You hear a voice echo throughout the dimly lit and overly cluttered base chamber, as you follow closely behind Jungkook who’s eyes are wide, filled with curiosity, and scanning the room, much like the way yours was too. You weren’t sure if that was the voice of Kim Seokjin, and you were trying to convince yourself that the comment was not directed at you and Jungkook, but all of that bites the dust as you see a tall male wearing a white lab coat walk out from behind one of the storage shelves.

“Good morning, Dr. Kim Seokjin, I’m Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook says as he walks over and offers a handshake in greeting.

“Ah yes, the famous MD-PhD neurosurgeon. I’ve heard much about you.” Seokjin accepts the handshake, and continues to not so subtly examine Jungkook from head to toe while occasionally glancing over at you. “I see you’ve come to discuss some topics of research in my field. Or have you come to seek love advice?” Seokjin smirks a little, making you question whether this really is the well-respected physicist that Jungkook has come to admire because this guy seems to be a little too wacky for your taste.

Jungkook clears his throat brushing off the awkwardness brought on by the not so funny dad joke. “Yes, as I’ve expressed earlier, I think your theory could potentially tie into what I’m working on now in my lab.” Jungkook pauses as he watches Seokjin turn and walk over to his desk, which is just a wooden table top covered with books, gadgets, and other unknown objects, it was situated by a set of large glass windows facing the ocean. An arrangement that makes it obvious he likes to enjoy the breathtaking view as he works on whatever new theory his mind is conjuring up at the time. Seokjin signals for Jungkook to have a seat, which Jungkook does obediently, mind probably still swirling with thoughts about how to begin the discussion. “In your recently published paper you stated that theories from quantum mechanics suggest that there are an infinite number of universes out there; just based on the way subatomic particles behave. I was wondering if those universes are completely invisible to us, or if there is a possibility of traversing between them.” Jungkook says as he’s seated across from the physicist.

You had just been casually looking at the objects on the shelves, minding your own business, not wanting to interrupt or get in the way, but you ears perk up at his last sentence. Was Jungkook slowly remembering? Is that why he asked you to come today? The excitement and curiosity builds, but you sternly remind yourself not to get your hopes up too high.

Seokjin chuckles, a response that startles you as the light vibration from his laugh spreads through the room. “I see you’re caught up in the fact that physical laws dictate our perception of the universe.”

“Do they not?” The uncertainty in Jungkook’s voice is more noticeable than you had ever witnessed before. He falls silent, as Seokjin leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.

“Oh, but Dr. Jeon, have you ever considered the idea that our consciousness is not governed by the laws of physics and perhaps that’s why it has never been properly explained.” Seokjin says rather confidently, and it’s the first time your witnessing Jungkook confused by another scientist’s theory. “The fact that consciousness itself is above any limitations in the physical world?”

He sits there, not responding to what the older scientist has just proposed, but seemingly deep in thought. You watch as his eyebrows furrow, and he avoids direct eye contact with the physicist. None of what Seokjin was saying was making any sense to you, but you didn’t think anyone had the power to confuse Jungkook, especially not when it comes to theories of consciousness since that’s always been his forte.

“I may not be an expert neuroscientist like you, but I’ve spent years investigating theories.” Seokjin proceeds. “However, I would’ve never believed the brain has the power to choose which universe to consciously perceive if I hadn’t met him.”

Him? Don’t tell me he’s going to talk about some sort of divine entity…

You look at Seokjin, waiting for him to explain whom this “him” is, hoping that the next thing that come out of his mouth will not cause him to lose credibility in your mind because this guy has certainly left a crazy scientist sort of impression on you so far. You notice the evident fondness in his eyes as he’s clearly recalling an old memory.

“Whenever people ask me why I chose to be an astronomer, I always tell them it’s because I liked looking at stars as a child, but the true reason is because I met a man named Kim Namjoon” Seokjin says in a nostalgic voice.

Kim Namjoon…

The images flash before your eyes. You vaguely recall an empty library and a young professor looking at you from behind a pair of old fashioned spectacles.

“I got really sick one year, when I was five. The doctors didn’t think I would make it and I fell into some sort of coma that lasted for a week or so, and that’s the first time I saw him.” You hear Seokjin’s voice, but it sounds muffled and far away. You feel a bit dizzy and sway a little on your feet, unable to find anything near you to grab onto to maintain balance.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Before you know it, Jungkook is by your side, supporting you so that you don’t fall over. You nod, reassuring Jungkook that you feel fine.

“I don’t want to make this all cheesy and say that it was love at first sight, but that boy was really something” Seokjin is so caught up in his thoughts that he momentarily forgets his surroundings and seems to be lost in his own world of thoughts. “He was extremely intelligent, tall, and had the cutest dimples when he smiled. And boy did he smile a lot.”

“So you’re telling me, you were able to perceive someone in another universe?” You hear Jungkook ask. He’s still standing next to you, holding onto your shoulders even though you had pretty much recovered from your dizzy spell moments ago.

“Newton ended up believing in god because he wasn’t able to explain everything in the universe, as did Einstein when he died without having figured out how to connect quantum mechanics and general relativity after spending the last years of his life researching it. Is it so hard for you to accept the idea of soulmates, Dr. Jeon? ”

Again, Jungkook doesn’t respond. He probably has too many conflicting thoughts swirling around his brain to come up with a composed response, and it was clear that Seokjin’s theories have really hit home.

“The minds of soulmates use their conscious perception to defy the limiting laws of the universe or the boundaries between universes in order to reach each other.” Seokjin finally says.

“What about universes that have different timelines?” You find yourself blurting out before your brain could approve of the action.

Seokjin chuckles again. “Time isn’t linear, everything is happening at once,” He explains. “That’s how people seamlessly traverse between parallel universes, or more accurately how their brains switch from perceiving one universe to perceiving another.” He pauses before making a last comment. “It’s almost like we don’t see reality as it is, but instead we see it how we want to. On a certain level of course, these decisions are obviously not perfectly unaffected by the universe itself, but it goes to show how powerful our brains are or can be. ”

It was all starting to come together, albeit still very difficult to wrap your head around, but everything was at least beginning to make some sense.

“So he was right?” You whip your head around to look at Jungkook who has spoken up after being silent for so long. He laughs and shakes his head. “My professor in grad school.” He explains. “He told me that space-time is not the nature of reality, and that they are more like your desktop computer, and objects in the world are icons on that desktop, hiding the true reality of the universe via this interface we see before our eyes.” He chuckles again. “Made no sense to me at the time, but now….” He shakes his head, still smiling and not really looking at either you or Seokjin.

There goes anything that was starting to make sense. You think to yourself as you hear the words leaves Jungkook’s mouth and mentally sigh.

Suddenly a loud roar of thunder crackles through momentary silence, which makes you almost jump out of your skin. You look over and notice that the previously clear sky is now covered in dark grey clouds. The conversation had caused the three of you to lose track of time, a glance at the old clock hanging on the wall revealed that it was already 4:00 in the afternoon.

“Looks like you two better get going before it starts pouring.” Seokjin says as he looks out the window. The wind was kicking up and you could see the trees swaying from the strong gust, with the sea in the background, dark waves rippling across its surface.

“Thank you, Dr. Kim, I appreciate it” Jungkook says, before the two of you walk out of the observatory.

The rain begins slowly, with just a few sprinkles carried by the wind hitting your face, but it quickly, almost violently begins to downpour. The sound of raindrops hitting the leaves drowns out any hope of having a normal conversation to bring any closure to the information that Seokjin has provided. Jungkook is walking in front of you, not too far ahead, but far enough that you can’t see his expression and that’s when you start to feel a bit of frustration building up in the pit of your stomach. Was he just going to leave it at that? Is he just going to go back to lab and not ever explain why he dragged you along or why he constantly confuses you with all of these theories that you clearly aren’t able to fully understand?

“Jungkook, why did you bring me here today?” You finally lose that last bit of control and restraint, bottled up emotions finally breaking free like the stormy weather you were currently amidst. The pouring rain must’ve given you some sort of magical courage to ask, because that question had been looming there all day, like the elephant in the room that no one seems to want to address.

He stops in his tracks, and slowly turns around, taking a few steps towards you, doe eyes unreadable, dark hair wet and sticking to his forehead.

The next thing you know, his lips are crashing against yours and it’s almost as if someone hit a pause button on the world, and universes decided to stop the flow of time for what feels like an eternity because Jungkook’s lips are softer than the way you used to imagine clouds to be and sweeter than your favorite childhood candy, they move gracefully, conveying endless flower fields of desire and affection. The scent of his cologne mixed with the warmth of his body and the relentless rain, washes away every last doubt that makes you ask questions like will he ever feel the same way about me again? And is it possible for us to be together?

Jungkook’s eyes always emanated light, like a window to his soul or some gateway to heaven, but when he finally pulls away, you can’t tell if it’s the rain or if he’s crying because your own tears are too overwhelming.

“Because I need you,” He whispers, as he pulls you in for a warm embrace.

You don’t know how long he stands there holding you in his arms, but you don’t care because you never want that moment to end. You slowly wrap your arms around him and bury your face into the familiar crevice of his chest, an irreplaceable safety net that only he was ever able to provide for you.

“But Jimin and Taehyung….” You trail off, not knowing why they seem to feel like they’ve lived through several lifetimes together. You were sitting in the car now, drying off your hair with a towel that Jungkook happened to have stored away in his trunk.

“Dreams only last seconds, but when your in them, doesn’t it feel like days or much longer? I think it’s similar to that. ” Jungkook says, as he drives down the mountain. The rain is starting to subside, and the clouds are clearing up. He drives down to the beach; knowing that the worst of the storm has passed and probably not wanting to head back to the city just yet.

Sitting next to him in the wet sand, and gazing at the large body of water in whose surface has now calmed to its resting state, brings back another memory, one that makes your heart race and clench at the same time. Blue waves are splashing gently against the shore, stopping just before receding back into the deep ocean. You look towards the horizon, basking in the salty breeze whose flavor is now tinted ever so slightly with the fresh smell of rain, waiting for a rainbow to appear in the sky that is speckled with only a few grey clouds.

“The feelings are still there, even though they may lack the depth and clarity that full consciousness allows for.” Jungkook says, after taking a deep breath. He turns away from the sky that’s pouring light and faces you.

And you think that he’s preparing to apologize, and that the next thing that comes out of his mouth will be something along the lines of he’s sorry for not being able to remember and that he wishes he could, but what he actually says is something that you don’t think you’ll ever forget, even if you get Alzheimer’s when your 70 or 60 or earlier, even if the end of the world comes before then, and even when you’re lying in your grave and all the neuron’s in your brain are biologically pronounced dead.

“It doesn’t even matter, because I fell in love with you anyways.” Jungkook reaches over and caresses your cheek with his hand, tracing the curve of your jawline and wiping the tear that has slid down your cheek with his thumb. “And it doesn’t matter where you are, because even if I don’t remember you, I will still love you. In this world where our eyelids will one day find their infinite darkness, I will still love you. And when the vast amounts of multiverses revert back to nothingness, I will still love you. ” He leans in, and kisses you, delicately cupping your face in both of his hands, so gentle as if you would shatter under too much force. “We were able to meet even when our chances of doing so defied all odds. Out of all the infinite number of possible collisions of particles in this vast multiverse, we found each other because soulmates are people whose minds choose the same universe to meet in and to fall in love.” His nose is still gently brushing yours as he whispers those words, eyes closed and soft hands still cupping your face.

When a long sentimental moment passes and he finally pulls away, you open your eyes. Looking at him through the tears threatening to blur your vision, he was still beautiful in every way you remember, in every way your mind decides to etch his very being into your heart, a kind of beauty that emanates from his soul, the tender warmth that’s always there no matter what universe.

“Our time may be limited, but it’s more than enough.” He says, making you realize that having a limit on the amount of time you could spend with each other, will make you wholeheartedly appreciate the moments you saw the sparkle in his eyes and the endearing smile on his face more than anything else. “This moment right now is the only one that truly matters.”

And because saying “I love you” doesn’t feel like it’s enough to express what you’re feeling, because those simple words could never be enough to describe how you feel about Jeon Jungkook, you smile and hold his hand, gripping him firmly as to never let go. You think of Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi, and even Namjoon and Seokjin, no matter how or in which universe their minds decide to meet, they all have their own stories where they convey their love, love that transcends physical matter and goes on to last for an eternity.

“Jungkook, I want to tell you a story…” You say, smiling as you gaze at his face and the setting sun in the background. There were dark purple clouds with shiny white peaks, and the canvas that was the sky was a gradient from navy to bright blue, drifting to yellow, orange, red and pink.

“Whenever you’re ready”

You smile.

“It’s called ‘Our First and Last’”

...

#bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #namjin #kim taehyung #park jimin #vmin #jung hoseok #min yoongi #yoonseok #bts soulmate au #angst and fluff #scifi

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