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#bc i was one of those people who waited for a chapter every week or month u see. i was OBSESSED
agapemoon · 1 year
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the years dont face me until i realize mangas/novels i was reading in 2015 are already finished and they have an anime/shows that are also finished with more than 3 seasons.
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blackhairedjjun · 1 year
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flowers of every color | 6. red and purple zinnias
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overall summary: when your father is assigned as the new head gardener to the royal family, you are also tasked with helping him maintain the castle's many gardens and extensive floral arrangements. by chance you find yourself crossing paths with the "ice-cold" crown prince, choi yeonjun... who turns out to be not as ice-cold as everyone says he is.
chapter summary: in which you are punished for your trespassing, and yeonjun starts to feel the pressure of his impending betrothal.
word count: 2.7k
warnings: angst + some insecurities
notes: adding some original characters here mostly to fill out the castle staff + the other kingdom, didn't wanna use actual people bc i don't wanna get hate for depicting others' faves as the "villain" of the story
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you water the zinnias in the greenhouse, humming a lonely ballad to yourself, until your routine is interrupted by a knock on the door. when you head over you see no one, only an empty flower vase waiting for your arrangement on a nearby desk. mechanically, almost thoughtlessly, you fill the vase with some of the zinnias that you just watered: a mix of reds and purples, not particularly caring for any special presentation or meaning. you knock back at the greenhouse door once you have finished and a pair of hands reach inside and take the vase, disappearing as quickly as they entered. you head back to the remaining zinnias. again you start to water them and hum, as if nothing got in the way of your errand.
part of you wishes that you received some sort of greeting or acknowledgment, even a simple “here is the vase for you to fill.” but this assigned servant or guard (you yourself aren’t sure) isn’t allowed to speak to you, just like every other person who has been assigned to pick up flowers from the greenhouse.
you dare not imagine where they are bringing the flowers to 一 perhaps they are headed to yeonjun’s room, passing through the route that once felt like home. 
and you dare not imagine what they have been told about your situation, or the rumors that must have been going around ever since the incident with the chamberlain. oh, the gardener’s kid? they got punished for trying to interfere with his majesty’s official duties. word is that they’ve been trying to manipulate him, pretending to be his friend, overstepping boundaries and all. i bet they were putting something weird in the flowers they used to bring.
regardless of how far from the truth those rumors are, your punishment remains: for the next two weeks, all your work is now restricted to the greenhouse. you cannot care for the plants in the outdoor gardens, and you certainly cannot bring flowers into the castle yourself. while you are still allowed to make floral arrangements, only assigned servants and guards can deliver them. most damning of all, no one is allowed to talk to you. your only conversations are with your father at dinnertime, and even then all he can offer are bits of news from the castle and well-meaning words of solace to look forward to the end of it.
on one hand, you feel relieved that the punishment isn’t worse; the chamberlain simply wanted to stop you from sharing anything that you aren’t supposed to know. you still have your job as gardener, and two weeks of isolation shouldn’t be too difficult. on the other hand, the days stretch on interminably, and you feel the loneliness start to gnaw at you after the third or fourth day. you sing to the flowers just so that you can hear a voice, and soon you start to talk to them as well 一 encouraging them to grow well, complaining about the isolation, or telling them whatever thought comes into your mind. but flowers are flowers, and they say nothing in return.
in those moments, you hear the voice at the back of your mind: if only yeonjun were here to listen to me.
every time the voice pops up, you push it away with another voice. being around yeonjun 一 no, his majesty 一 is what got me in trouble in the first place. as much as you yearn for his presence, you can’t ignore the creeping feeling that your friendship has set things all wrong. what were you thinking, seriously believing that a friendship between a mere gardener and the crown prince would work? no, yeonjun needs to be friends with more important people. he’ll marry a princess and bring prosperity to the kingdom with his union, and you will step aside and do your job and provide flowers for the wedding. that’s how things should be.
you repeat this thought to yourself as you prepare yet another batch of zinnias to be delivered to the castle on the last day of your punishment. it may almost be over, you muse, but you swear to keep to yourself even after you’re allowed out. you dare not put yourself in another situation that will get you, your father, or yeonjun into trouble.
your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the greenhouse door. you head over to the little table where the empty vase is usually placed, but find nothing.
“y/n...?”
you jolt up. “wh-who’s there?”
the door creaks open, and soobin and beomgyu step into the greenhouse. your eyes go wide.
“i一 what are you doing here?!”
“we missed you!” beomgyu says, grabbing your shoulders and giving you a little shake.
soobin grabs his arm. “shh, not too loud!”
“but i一 you一” you push past them and peer outside the greenhouse, then breathe a sigh of relief when you see no one there. “i’m not supposed to talk to anyone.”
“we know, we know.” beomgyu nods and gives you a reassuring smile. “but we were worried about you, okay? we heard about the punishment and we felt bad, then we got dragged into a bunch of meetings so we couldn’t even check up on you.” he sets down a brown paper bag on the vase table. “we’re sorry, y/n. here, we brought you this.”
you peek into the bag and see a generous slice of key lime pie. for the first time in two weeks, you smile. “you didn’t have to...”
“we wanted to make it up to you for getting you into trouble,” soobin says.
“you didn’t get me into trouble. i trespassed into a part of the castle where i shouldn’t have been in.”
“but you only went there because you were trying to bring flowers to us, right? we made you do all those things to spend time with us, and you got caught. so it’s our fault too.”
you open your mouth to argue, but you can’t find it in you to rebut such a thoughtful gesture. “thank you, soobin, beomgyu,” you say at last. “i haven’t had anything sweet in two weeks.”
as you peer at the slice of pie, you notice a piece of card at the side. when you pull it out and examine it, you see yeonjun’s now-familiar handwriting:
i’m so sorry for getting you into trouble. please let me make it up to you next time. in the meantime, enjoy this 一 it’s the kitchen specialty!
“oh...” you try to suppress your smile growing wider but fail, and you feel the sudden burst of warmth tug at your heart. 
“yeah, it was yeonjun hyung’s idea to get the pie,” beomgyu says.
“where is he?”
soobin and beomgyu look at each other, their faces faltering, then back at you. soobin runs a hand through his hair before he speaks.
“he’s... at another meeting.”
“oh, is he busier than usual these days?”
“...yeah.” soobin looks down at the floor, then at beomgyu, then back at you. “they’ve started arrangements for him to get married.”
yeonjun fidgets in secret, stretching his fingers and knuckles on his lap underneath the table while staring at the vase of red and purple zinnias placed at its center. it’s a beautiful day, and the curtains have been drawn open to let the sunlight in, but all he can think about is how stuffy the meeting room feels. he tries not to squirm in his chair and finally lifts his gaze from the zinnias up at the visitors seated across him.
the visiting advisors look expectantly at him, as if expecting him to bend to their will as soon as they open their mouths. he wants to scoff at them, but bites his own tongue to stop himself, and instead gives them a blank stare. i won’t let you read me, he thinks, but as soon as his gaze lands on the visiting queen, his stare starts to waver.
her majesty queen hwayoung is standing behind her council of advisors. though she isn’t much taller than them when they’re seated, her posture and demeanor more than make up for it. her lips are pulled in a taut line, and she stares back at yeonjun with an icy gaze. her expression is not a calculated facade the way his is; her eyes alone speak with indifference and hide no warmth.
yeonjun breaks his gaze and stares down at the zinnias again. he feels a squeeze on his shoulder; he looks up to see his own mother, the queen, giving him a barely concealed smile as she takes her position next to him. he appreciates the gesture of comfort, and manages a stiff nod.
queen hwayoung clears her throat, and her council of advisors instantly snap at attention. one of them slides a document onto the table, marked with the seal of their kingdom.
“i suppose you find our terms of political alliance amenable,” she says.
yeonjun looks over the paper 一 he’d been given a copy to read earlier that day 一 and purses his lips. when he speaks, he keeps his voice as controlled as he can. “the terms are good, but i feel like your majesty is being too hasty. it wouldn’t help your kingdom either if you rushed into things.”
the visiting queen’s eyebrows quirk upward ever so slightly. “i assure you that we are not careless about these things, your majesty.” yeonjun tries not to wince at the way she says his title. “my advisors and i have done our research on the house of choi. our kingdom is in need of allies, and my daughter princess ajin is in need of a husband. your kingdom is modest but stable, and allying with us will also give you a good opportunity to grow.”
he lets out a soft tch. “and a marriage would solve all our problems? maybe your daughter might not find much to like about me.”
“with all due respect, i raised a strong daughter! an ice-cold prince is no match for her will.”
yeonjun’s mother cuts in, and he hides his sigh of relief. “what my son means to say is,” she says, “is that we should spend a bit more time building rapport between our families. not only will it give us time to analyze your deal more thoroughly, but if our relations are strengthened, then it will reflect well on our kingdoms as a whole too.”
the council of advisors start to mutter among themselves until queen hwayoung again clears her throat. she looks up at yeonjun’s mother, then back at the crown prince, and frowns. “i personally find it embarrassing for a royal family to dawdle and waste so much time,” she says, “but i suppose it’s a cultural difference between your kingdom and ours. fine, a few more meetings wouldn’t hurt. perhaps princess ajin can meet us if her schedule permits.”
yeonjun nods and looks up at his mother. she squeezes his shoulder again and returns the nod, and he understands the message. i did what i could.
he turns back to queen hwayoung with narrowed eyes. “it would be our pleasure to get to know your majesty and the family better, and to have her majesty here as our guest.”
“hyung, how’d it go? are you alright?” beomgyu nearly dashes towards yeonjun in the hallway, soobin jogging after him. both boys can’t help but notice the exhaustion in his posture and the slight frown settling on his face.
yeonjun rubs the back of his neck, glancing down at the floor. when he looks up, his frown is gone. “did you give y/n the pie? did they like it? how are they doing?”
“y/n’s doing alright. they were lonely but now they’re just glad to be almost out of it.” beomgyu waves a hand in front of yeonjun’s face. “what about you? you look like you just witnessed a crime.”
“oh, thank god y/n’s almost through with it. i want to figure out a way to make it up to一”
“hyung,” soobin interrupts. “we’re worried about you too.”
yeonjun sighs. he’s tried not to think too hard about the meeting with queen hwayoung, or about the mysterious princess who is supposed to be his bride. instead most of his thoughts gravitate towards you and the punishment he inadvertently got you caught in, and how he’ll treat you even more kindly the next time he sees you. you are his friend, after all.
but he can’t keep his own problems at bay forever, and they feel even sharper now that a potential engagement is looming. a new feeling of urgency has been bothering him recently: his time with you is running out, the feeling says, and his friendship with you will only lead to a dead end. he knows that his duty comes before his own desires, and that means having to give up whatever connection he has with you to secure a future for the throne.
on one hand, no one is asking him to sever that connection; he could still be friendly with you if he desired. but ever since the night of the ball he’s felt the connection growing stronger, warmer, more intimate... and he loves it that way. he’s never felt close to someone the way he does with you. a distant but cordial friendship between prince and gardener is no longer enough for him, and perhaps it never has been. if he could, he would leave his duties behind just to spend more time with you.
yet he knows that there is no reality that will allow him to do that.
“you can tell us, hyung,” soobin says, his voice softer.
yeonjun glances at him and shakes his head to clear his thoughts out. “i know.”
he looks around the hallway, paces back and forth, then ushers the two boys into an empty office. once inside, he closes the door and plops down on the nearest sofa. he rubs his face with his hands as he tries to gather the mess of his thoughts and feelings, which have only become more jumbled since the meeting. soobin and beomgyu watch and wait for him to speak.
he lets out a long exhale before he does.
“it’s going really fast,” he says. “i haven’t even met the damn girl yet, but her mother wants the preparations to start. and i know their kingdom is really rich and secure, and it’ll be good for us and everything, but...” he rubs his eyes. “i don’t know, i don’t know how i’ll manage to go through this.”
“i thought your mom would try to delay things a bit so you can think it over,” beomgyu says, “and so you can, y’know, actually meet this princess.”
“she did, we got a few more meetings to think it over, but she can’t keep delaying it forever. at some point i have to…” he trails off and rubs his face with his hands again. yeonjun blinks a few times, trying not to let the reality of it sink in too much.
“hey.” beomgyu walks over and grabs his hand. “it’s okay. it is crazy how they’re pushing so hard for it, but… you can talk to us.”
soobin takes his other hand and gives it a little shake. “we’re here for you, okay? i… i don’t know how you’ll get through this either. but maybe we’ll figure something out.”
yeonjun squeezes both of their hands and manages a tight-lipped smile. “thanks, you two.”
he looks up at his two friends’ faces. even as they try to console him, he knows them well enough that he can read the anxieties in their eyes. as much as he wants them to help him out, there is only so much that they can do within their duties. in their own time, soobin and beomgyu will have to go through engagement preparations similar to his — but he pushes that future worry out of his mind.
for now, yeonjun has the company of his friends. even if it isn’t enough, it’s something to hold onto.
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end notes: so i try to feature at least one flower in each chapter (mostly so that the chapter can have a title lol). originally i chose zinnias just because they're a summer flower, and in my head the story takes place in spring -> summer, but i didn't think about what the flowers meant. later while writing the draft, i looked it up and i found out that zinnias in mixed colors mean "thinking of an absent friend," which fits this chapter really well!
taglist (open!) @seosalad @lilplilplilp @yeonboy @pyuae
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callsigndragon · 1 year
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Seeing Red | Ch. 26: The plot thickens ✍️📲
Word count: 4.3k (this is nuts)
Warnings: swearing, dad jake, WHO SENTS THE BOUQUET (read and you'll know), jealous jake, cycunt, someone gets punched pt.2, medical innacuracy but hey i'm a teacher not a doctor, BOB'S WIFE, and a fucking cliffhanger bc this chapter is super long.
A/N: NEXT. CHAPTER. REVEALS. THE. TRUTH. JUST. WAIT. A. BIT. Pls 😭❤️
Masterlist on pinned
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It’s been a month since you came here. And what a month! 
After the second week of silence regarding the big secret, you stopped waiting. You knew he wanted to tell you; he just needed a bit of time. How much time was a bit, you didn’t know. But you could wait. 
During the last month, Jake has been the best father you could have wished for your son. He spent days baby-proofing his house, with Reuben’s help and with a soon-to-be dad named Bob, who took lots of notes. Liam has only been in Jake’s house once, when he hosted a dinner the night before you all left for a mission. 
Oh, the mission. It was more of a scouting mission, but you still had to spend almost two weeks on a carrier with the whole squad. That meant sharing a room with Phoenix, small corridors, and a lack of sun. The narrow corridors were the worst part. The universe must have been trying to laugh at you or something, because every time you had to walk through one of those, you found Jake at the other end. It brought thousands of memories. The ones that left you with weak knees. Yeah, he still has that effect on you. 
Jake has become a mystery to you. While he may appear to be a completely different person on the outside—someone you don't know—on the inside, he is still the same man you fell in love with. 
His entire demeanor has changed, too. It’s like his father's instincts have taken over his personality, and all that bad attitude he displayed with the new recruits or as an instructor is now gone. He has become a perfect aviator, a perfect instructor, and a perfect father. Warlock even came one day to congratulate him for his outstanding behavior. 
You’re sure Warlock was the one who came to congratulate him because Cyclone couldn’t even think about it. Every time you two were in the same room, something sent shivers down your spine. You have been trying to avoid him lately. 
Everything is perfect. Liam has a lovely and supportive family—more uncles and aunts than days in a week—and Penny and Mav, whom Liam calls Memaw and Pepaw. Your mom, hearing that Liam has so many people surrounding him, has told you that ‘you don’t need her’. She’s literally trying to get you and Jake together, whatever it takes. And she believes she can accomplish this by staying at home with Lady. She has adopted the dog as her own. 
Everything is perfect. Well, it could be even better if Jake told you the truth. 
But you’ll have to wait for that. 
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Jake knocks on your door just when you have turned off the computer. “Ready, sweets?” 
“Yeah, just let me get my stuff,” You mumble while opening one of the drawers to get some folders. 
Jake watches silently as the dog tags slip from the inside of your shirt, hanging from the chain. There they are. The engagement ring he bought, the wedding band you chose together, the one that he placed on your finger at your wedding. How did Amelia get a picture of them? He will ask her later. 
Your hand hides them quickly inside your shirt, where they belong, and you glance in Jake’s way. He’s grabbing your bag, his right hand patting his front pocket for some reason. “Warlock is now the babysitter?” 
You laugh, closing the drawer and walking to him. “Don’t you think he is better than Dummy Boo?” 
“Much, much better. I was thinking that we could have another Disney movie night.” He suggests, opening the door for you. 
“Sounds good. We came back a week ago but we’ve been doing so much paperwork…” You groan, trying to get your bag from Jake’s hands, but he softly slaps your hand away. “Give me my bag.” 
“Nope,” he grins walking alongside you through the corridor, his hand brushing with yours at every step. He wishes he could just slide his hand between your fingers, draw infinite shapes in your skin.
Ames is right. He needs to tell you. 
“It feels like all I’ve seen of him this week is his sleepy form.” Jake mentions, and you nod, because it’s true. He’s been sleeping more lately. Maybe he gets tired at daycare. 
“Don’t worry, we still have tons of Disney movies to watch with him. I can’t remember what was the last one we saw.”
“The Emperor’s new groove. Next ones are Atlantis and Lilo and Stitch.” 
“Maybe Atlantis is a bit too much for him.” You point out. “Lilo and Stitch.” 
“I bought a Stitch plushie. He’s gonna want one of those.” Jake chuckles and you shake your head while laughing. 
You sigh, stopping when you reach Warlock’s office. “Jake.” 
“Yeah?”
“Maybe when Liam falls asleep we could… talk?” 
He sees the hope in your eyes, a sparkle in them that makes his heart skip a bit. “Yeah. We’ll talk.”
The smile that you give him in return could illuminate a town for an entire month. “Thank you.” 
A part of him feels miserable that you have to thank him for doing something that he should have done before. “You don’t need to thank me, sweets.”
You kiss his cheek and open the door, Jake standing behind you with reddening cheeks. The smiles on your faces drop when you see Cyclone instead of Warlock. 
“Where’s Solomon?” You inquire as you observe Liam doodling on a piece of paper. 
“He had to leave, and I stayed with Liam.” 
"Hey, baby," you say as you kneel in front of him and kiss his cheek.
“Hello, mama.” 
“Want to go home?” He nods, and you move his hair out of his face. You need to get him a haircut. “Dada is waiting outside. Can you go with him while I give Beau some boring papers?” 
“Dadaaaa!” Liam goes running towards his dad and hugs his leg. Jake drops the bag and hugs him. 
“What have you done today, bubs?” 
“I paint a lot. Wally is funny.” Liam explains to his dad, who believes that this Wally is Warlock. Liam goes around giving nicknames to everyone. Mickey is Mickey Mouse. Nobody knows why Reuben is called Ben-Ben. Nat, Javy and Bob don’t have nicknames, their names are just that short. And then, there’s Rooster. Well, Woosta. Jake fell to the floor the first time Liam called Bradley like that. 
“What about Dummy Boo? Was he funny?” Jake keeps talking to his son while observing the interaction between Red and Cyclone. He still gives him a weird feeling; there’s something behind his actions that doesn’t sit right with Jake. 
Javy calls it jealousy, but it goes beyond that. It’s just weird. 
Cyclone writes something on a piece of paper that he pushes across the desk until it sits in front of Red’s hand. She takes it with a smile on her face. What the fuck is going on? 
Did Cycunt just give her his number? 
Today, of all days, the day where he has decided to confess everything to Red, and maybe, even though Jake knows that this is hoping too much, that will lead to the two of them having another chance to be together. 
This has to be a joke. 
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“Woosta!” 
“My baby!” Bradley grabs Liam by the waist and lifts him up, making him giggle. It’s quite a sound that you don’t hear too often in a gym. 
“Can you take care of him for a bit? I want to hit the bag.” You ask him, leaving Liam’s bag next to the two boys. 
“Of course. We’re gonna play a bit with the football, right, buddy?” He tickles Liam, and you smile. You’re so lucky to have them. 
“Thanks, Rooster.” 
You get your things out of the bag that Jake has left in front of you and go change into more comfortable clothes. You’ve been boxing since the academy days; at first it was like a joke, not really thinking how much you would end up enjoying it. It eventually became a part of your daily routine. Hit the bag for a while to de-stress. 
You turn back to the room, wrapping your hands with the red cotton wraps you always carry in your bag. 
“Want help?” Jake stands behind the punching bag, his brows knitted together and his arms crossed across his chest. 
“Yeah, thanks.” He helps you, silently wrapping your hands and fingers. “Are you okay?” 
“Just peachy.” 
“Okay…” 
He drops your hand once it is properly wrapped, then gets the gloves and assists you in slipping your hands into them. “Ready?” 
You nod, moving your arms a bit, and throw a combination against the bag. It feels good. 
You keep going for a bit, feeling Jake’s eyes on you. You know he wants to say something, but he's biting his tongue. 
“Just say it, cowboy.” 
“So... you and Cyclone.” He finally mutters through clenched teeth. 
“What about me and Cyclone?”
“There’s something there?” 
You stop punching the bag immediately. “What?” 
“Every time we have to leave the kid outside daycare, he’s there. Every. Single. Time.” 
You move around the bag, staring into his eyes. “Please, tell me you’re not trying to insinuate what you’re trying to insinuate.” 
“What? That you two are together? Perhaps that's why he called you to lead the team?" His voice raises a level, making the others stop working out and look at the two of you. 
You let out a dry laugh, watching from the corner of your eye as Nat walks closer to the two of you. “You really think I’m dating Cyclone?” 
“That’s what it looks like, yes” 
“And you think you have any right to comment on who I date or not?” 
“So it’s right!” 
You close your eyes for a second. “Rooster, can you take Liam out of here?” 
“Come on, buddy. Let’s play outside” You wait until Rooster and Liam leave the gym to respond. 
“Look, asshole. I’ve been waiting for a fucking month—no, scratch that. I’ve been waiting for three fucking years for you to come back and tell me what the fuck I’ve done wrong, why you left, and why I had to raise our kid alone.” 
“Red, calm down,” Phoenix says, standing next to Jake. 
“I won’t calm down. I’ve been here for a month. You’ve been in my house, every fucking night, and you have slept on the couch because you didn’t want to leave. I knew that you being part of Liam’s life meant that I’d have to see you all the time, even if I didn’t want to.” Your voice is starting to break; you pause for a second to breathe, but Jake takes it as his turn to speak. 
“I think I’m entitled to know who the fuck enters my kid’s life.” Jake spits out. 
“Jake, you asshole, you have literally been with me every day since I set foot on this base! We work together, we eat together, we go home together with Liam, you sleep there…” 
“Your point?” 
You're trembling, your eyes are wet, and your teeth are clenched. Why is he doing this? “Do you think I had time left to go see that man?” 
“I don’t know, but he gave you a piece of paper with his number, didn’t he?” He steps closer to you. “Maybe even his address.” 
“Jake, man. It’s time to stop” Reuben puts a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off. 
“In case you forgot, you left me. Let me repeat it again, because maybe your brain doesn’t understand it. You left me.” You emphasize each word by pressing your glove against his chest. “You don’t have a fuck to say about my life. And no, I’m not seeing Cyclone.” 
You turn around to leave, wanting to be the mature person in the room. But again, Jake being Jake, he needs to have the last word. “Then tell him to stay the fuck away from what’s mine” 
“Oh shit,” Payback mutters when you come back to where they are. 
You throw an uppercut to his stomach, making him fall to his knees. He grunts, breathlessly looking at you. You crouch down, resting your arms on your knees. “You don’t own me, Jake Seresin. Never forget that.” 
He starts coughing when you enter the locker room. 
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"Red.”
“Oh my god, Jake. What now?” You are really close to throwing something at him. 
“Please. I’m so-” He moves closer to you, the angriness in his face long gone. You can only see regret now. 
“If you say you’re sorry after all the bullshit you just said in front of everyone, I will punch you again, this time without gloves.” You warn him, walking a few steps back. You don’t want him close to you. Your body will betray you, and you know it. 
While you were out there screaming at each other, you felt a need to just grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him. He needs to remember that you married him three years ago and that you weren’t the one who asked for a divorce. He needs to know that you were and still are very much in love with him. 
And even though you can understand the jealousy he must have felt and how it makes you do and say crazy things, it’s not an excuse. 
“You wanna know what that piece of paper was?” You rummage through your bag, looking for that damned piece of paper, pressing it against his chest. “Read it.” 
“Jane Simpson?” His brows furrow. That's not the name he was expecting to read. 
“Cyclone’s daughter. She’s a sitter. Cyclone said that next time the daycare is closed, I could call her and ask her to take care of Liam.” You grab all your things while Jake registers this information, feeling like an absolute dick. Great, he deserves it. “Don’t fucking come to my house tonight.” 
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Jake spends the next five hours inside his car, arms and head resting on the steering wheel. How has he messed up so much? Today was the day. He was going to tell you the truth, and there wouldn't be any secrets left between them. Not anymore. 
But fucking Jake Seresin had to open up his big mouth.  
He grabs his phone, taking a deep breath before sending a text to Mav. 
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Ames and Mav are glad that you punched him. He really deserves it. He's been scolded by both of them for hours now.
"When you punched Rooster a while ago, I was glad," Ames explains, filling up Jake’s glass of water. "But now? I want to go and give her a round of applause." 
"Yeah, yeah. I know I deserve it, don't remind me." Jake lets his head fall against the table. The two of them are sitting outside the bar, in one of the benches, Mav has gone inside to help Penny with the new customers. "I'm gonna need a miracle now. She won't forgive me." 
"Let's remember that she still carries her wedding rings around." She points out, playing with Jake's hair. 
"How did you find out?" Jake's voice comes out muffled.
"Red showed them to Nat, Penny saw them and sent us a text. I've been carefully trying to take a picture of them since she told me. And one day she fell asleep on the couch, Liam had been playing with them…" 
"He likes shiny things," Jake mutters to himself, that sentence making so much sense now. He liked to play with his mom's dog tags because the rings were there. 
"I just took a picture. But instead of making you understand that she's still pretty much in love with you, and faithfully waiting for you to come back, it had the opposite effect." 
He lifts his head, realizing that he said all those stupid things literally one hour after Amelia sent him that photo. "I'm an asshole." 
"Congrats, it took you only…" She checks her phone. "Shit, it's almost midnight." 
"Already?" Jake grabs his phone from his pocket. It had been silent all day. 
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He gets up from the bench in a swift motion, the glass of water falling over the table. "Jake, what the fuck?" 
He unlocks the phone and calls you, his whole body frozen in pure terror. 
Not his kid. 
Everything but him. 
"Red?" He can hear Liam crying. It breaks his heart into a million pieces. 
"Oh my god Jake, thank God. Liam has a high fever, and the fucking car isn't working, and…” You're trying to calm Liam, but he can hear you crying. You must be so scared. Jake grabs his car keys and runs to his car for the second time in one month. 
Jake knows he has to be the big person now. He needs to keep his cool and not fuck this up. His son needs him. "Hey, hey. Honey, listen to me, okay? I'm at the Hard Deck. Just give me a few minutes, and I'll be with you. I'm gonna call Bob and check if his wife is working tonight." 
"Shhh, Liam. I know it hurts, but we're gonna make it stop, okay? Dada's coming." You choke on your words, and he doesn't want to end the call, but he needs to. He needs to call Bob.
"I'm gonna hang now. I'll be there soon." 
"Hurry, please." 
You hang up, and he scrolls down his recent calls to look for Bob. 
"Man, I don't want to talk to you right now." Bob quickly says, angry at Jake’s behavior. 
"Bob, please. Liam’s sick. Is Doc working?" 
"Yes, she is. Take him to the hospital; I'll call her." 
"Thanks, Bob. We'll be there soon."
"I hope it's nothing."
Jake hangs up the phone for the second time in minutes and drives like a madman. He can hear Liam's heartbreaking cries in his head. He must be hurting. It could be literally anything. Reuben told him that children get sick often; it's part of their life. But this is his first time going through this. 
When he drove like this last month because you were sick, he felt scared. This is ten times worse. A kid is sick. He's a baby; he doesn't know how to explain things. If he's hurting, he won't say it; he's only going to cry and hope that it goes away. 
And the only thing his parents can do is take him to the ER and hope for the best. 
Once he gets to your home, he sees you. You're wearing the same clothes you had in the gym, and it makes it look like it has only been a few hours since the last time he saw you. The tiredness on your face, however, makes it feel like an eternity. 
“Get in.” He opens the passenger door from the inside, and you run to get inside the car, tears staining your face. Liam keeps crying, his face is red and wet, and when he sees his dad, he makes grabby hands in his direction and calls for him between cries. “Dada needs to drive, bubs. We’re gonna take you to see Doc, okay? You remember Doc?” 
Jake turns the engine on and drives to the hospital. “Is she working?” You ask loudly, trying to make yourself heard over Liam’s cries. 
“Yeah, she’s waiting for us.” 
“Thank god.” 
Once you get to the ER, you see Doc waiting for you, her hand resting on her small baby bump. “There you are.” 
“Aren’t you gonna get into trouble for this?” 
“Pediatrics is empty. Follow me.” 
Doc leads you to one of the children’s rooms in the ER. You try to leave Liam in bed, but he doesn’t want to let go of you. Jake hands him a plushie, and Liam’s attention is diverted long enough for Doc to check his temperature. “Has he been eating well lately?” 
“Warlock told me that Liam didn’t eat all his morning snacks, and he didn’t want to eat dinner early.” You explain, playing with your fingers. Jake takes your hand between his, squeezing it tightly. 
“It’s okay, relax.” He whispers, and you nod. 
“Has he been angry or distracted?” Doc is now looking at Liam’s ears. 
“Not really.” 
“Has he been rubbing his ear?” 
You think for a moment. “Yeah. He’s been doing that all afternoon.” 
She nods and grabs her tablet, writing down everything. “It’s just an ear infection. He rubs his ear, hoping to get rid of the pain.” 
Jake and you both sigh with relief. Ear infections are very common. “You must think I’m an idiot for not noticing and overreacting like this.” 
Doc smiles and hugs Red. “You did what you had to do. Your kid was in pain, and you didn’t know what to do, so you went to the doctor. That’s what good parents do.” 
“Thank you, Doc.” Jake says when she turns to hug him. 
“Any time. I’m gonna get some painkillers for him. Wait here. You’ll be able to leave in a minute.” She leaves you alone, Liam more calm now that he has a new toy to play with, but silent tears still run down his face. 
“I’m sorry you had to run to my house for an ear infection.” You mutter under your breath, your gaze fixed on Liam's hair. 
“I should be the one apologizing here, sweets. I was supposed to be there with you.” Jake’s thumb caresses your knuckles; the action melts you inside. You’ve missed him so much. Being close to him Touching him. Feeling him. 
“You’re cute, but you’re not cute when you’re jealous.” You say, somehow make him chuckle. 
He lifts his eyes and locks them with yours in an honest, poignant stare. “You’re the only thing I have left, Red. You and Liam. I was so scared to lose you both. I’m so, so sorry.” 
“Jake…” 
Doc enters the room, medicine in hand. “Okay, buddy, I’m gonna give you this, and once you get home, you’re gonna feel so much better.” She pushes the oral syringe into Liam’s mouth, who takes the medicine like a good boy. “That’s it. Here’s the name of the medicine I just gave him.” 
You look at the paper. “Yeah, I have this one at home.” 
“Perfect then. It’s gonna kick in very soon. He will fall asleep soon, too. His body is really tired from all the crying.” Doc kisses Liam’s head. “I hope to see you soon under much better circumstances.” 
“Thank you so much, Doc. You’re the best.” Jake hugs her again and takes Liam. 
“Don’t mention it. I’ll call Bob and tell him it’s nothing, okay? Go home and rest. You both look like you need it.” She gives you a sympathetic smile and accompanies you to the door, waving to a sleepy Liam, who is now resting in his dad’s arms. 
“I think he’s gonna fall asleep.” Jake whispers, and you look at him. Yeah, he has that tired look in his eyes. 
“I’ll drive.” 
He frowns. “You sure?” 
“Yeah, it’s okay. I’ll drive.” 
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“He’s asleep.” You whisper, sitting next to Jake on the sofa. The room is dark, with the only source of light coming from the streetlight on the other side of the street. 
Jake’s head rests against the back of the sofa. “You should go to sleep, too. I’ll stay here in case he wakes up.” 
You shake your head and start crying. “I’m sorry, Jake.” 
“Hey, hey,” He takes your face between his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “What are you apologizing for?” 
“I called you crying like a crazy woman, and all that happened was that Liam had an ear infection.” 
Jake shushes you and hugs you tightly. “No, that’s not what happened. A good mom called the not-so-good dad and asked for help when their kid wasn’t feeling good.” 
“You’re a good dad, Jake.” You state, not leaving room for doubts. He is a good dad, and he needs to know that. 
“But I’m not a good man.” He retorts, separating himself from your body, even if that’s exactly the opposite of what he wants to do. 
You sigh, leaning against the sofa. “Jake, you said some stupid things. And you apologized. I can’t imagine how you must have felt when you suddenly encountered yourself as part of a family, and then your brain tells you that some prick is trying to steal them away from you.” 
Jake snorts. “You called Cyclone a prick?” 
“Cycunt suits him better.” You smirk, and Jake swears he could kiss you. “Look, I know he was flirting with me, but I thought that if I didn’t say anything, he would stop.” 
“Nah, it doesn’t work that way. Men are idiots. Ignore us, and we’ll think that you’re trying to play hard to get. Say no, and we’ll think you’re saying yes. Be completely obvious, and we’ll think that you’re not interested at all.” 
“And you say that women are difficult.” 
“That’s why you’re the ones giving birth, sweets. You’re better than us in every single aspect.”
There’s a moment of silence between the two of you. “You’re not a bad man, Jake. The only bad thing you’ve done is easy to fix.” 
Jake looks at his hands for a second, deep in thought. “I’m gonna need something strong.” 
“Tequila? Mickey gave me a bottle.” 
“Tequila works.” 
You get up and go to the kitchen, coming back in an instant with two glasses and the bottle. Jake grabs the bottle and fills the glasses, clinking them before downing it in one shot. 
“Okay. You want the truth? Here’s the truth.”
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catiuskaa · 10 months
Text
Quick Question: What the Hell?
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GIF by quokki
@starlostseungmin and @gimmeurtmi hear me out, you people with good taste:
mafia!seungmin, bc yes, min supremacy.
(warnings just in case) 🌻we know seungminnie wouldn't hurt a fly, this is a fanfic, FANATIC FICTION ME LOVE, everything went out of my mind and pinterest ideas, just that <3 🌻this is made entirely because I could, which I warn you- it may not work. 🌻will contain shitposting, drama, angst, pinterest and tumblr prompts and a whole bag of sarcasm. 🌻as a cherry on top, mature content too, swearing is a must cause well its mafia not my little pony but just a reminder, i warned u already. 🌻i am confident in my english, however, its not my first language so it may contain some mistakes- sorry in advance.
this was laying under some works of mine, so I retouched it a bit... should I keep it going? I mean there are like five more chapters finished, but the story isn't. I'll leave the first one here, pls enjoy it!
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"Congratulations, Detective Dumbass. You were so desperately interested in what I was doing, weren't you? Now you know. What are you gonna do about it?"
I narrowed my eyes. "Ok, emo dog, isn't there anyone else in your 'I can show up bleeding' list or was I, the late night shift Subway stranger, your only option?"
"I already went to my other option. They gave me this," he groaned, gesturing to one of the biggest wounds.
Wait. Stop.
Just let me pause real quick for a second. Let's back up, and start somewhere before that.
Remember that meme? "Yup. That's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation..." That's the only thing that comes up to my mind whenever I try to explain what happened that Monday night or dare I say Tuesday morning, at 1:51 a.m.
What was I doing? Well, absolutely nothing, because no one, absolutely no one shows up at a Subway at that time, not on a bloody Tuesday. My shift finished at 3 am, the last of the day, so you know, I wouldn't try to summon demons into the shop, and I was just there to get paid a minimum wage. Not like I wanted to get Hell involved.
It had rained outside, the wet street and the puddles that the rain had formed were still there. I thought it would last all night, but it stopped suddenly as if someone had turned off the hose. I had music playing, but no headphones in case someone called or entered. I allowed myself to be a bit carefree, but I was still at work.
And then, it happened. For the first time in what seemed like forever, someone showed up and made the automatic doors open. It was a pale, young man. He was wearing an oversized black hoodie and black jeans. He walked towards me, and for a second the thought occurred that I was going to be robbed. He settled one hand on the counter that stood between us, leaving the other by his stomach, making me notice that he was sort of bending down a bit, but before I could say anything, his face lifted, his gaze met mine and I froze.
Those dark brown eyes stared at me deadly. I shivered. It felt like if I started thinking too hard, he would be able to read whatever crossed my mind.
"Is he here?" He asked with a soft and tender tone, yet not a soothing one, rather than what you would expect for someone with such delicate facial features. Still intimidated, I simply shook my head sideways. I knew I was alone inside the building, but, is who here? Would it be possible that he was looking for Jisung? He had given no signs of life since he stopped coming to work, and that was almost a week ago. Every time I tried to contact him, to make sure he was OK at least, the automatic voice message simply replied that the number dialled didn't exist anymore.
After my silent reply, his gaze lowered and I heard him scoff.
"That's great," he whispered, in what I perceived, full of sarcasm. With that reply, my body trembled. Fuck. He now knows that there's no one else in here.
shitshitshitshit.
But before I could think of anything else to say, he slowly walked away and left.
...
What in the fucknuckles had just happened? Well, I'll be damned, because I for sure didn't know.
I looked outside. A not-so-heavy rain had started again, the one with those tiny drops that were barely noticeable. Suddenly, a loud crash made me jump in my place. It had come from behind the store. I snapped out of whatever daydreaming I was in, noticing red marks, more like stripes on the floor. Like ropes. Red ropes. What was that doing there? It was sort of like a path that pointed outside. 
Ah, c'mon man, you gotta be kidding me.
The loud crash was repeated, only weaker this time. I questioned my life-long decisions and wondered if I was being a wimp by having the urge to pretend that I heard nothing. I thought to myself, it couldn't be that bad, right?
I left the register and walked to the backdoor, and slowly peeked outside. A scenario welcomed me, and I had never —not even in my wildest dreams, and trust me, I had a vivid imagination—conceived of seeing... whatever that was, with my own eyes.
Describing it as bloody would be accurate. It was the same guy from minutes ago, except he looked even paler, and his black hoodie was nowhere to be seen. Instead, what looked like a once-white t-shirt covered his torso, but it was full of blood and cuts. His arm was laying on what looked like the worst part of the scene, making me unable to see it, and I didn't know if I should've been thankful for it.
He had sat on the ground by laying on the wall and slowly slipping off. His head was tilted, resting on a dumpster... could that have been the source of the noise?
The need to scream 'NEVERMIND' and get the shit fuck out of whatever that was kept getting bigger and the one to be a hero was getting emptier. But sadly for everyone, it was not empty yet.
And just maybe, I wanted to see those dark brown eyes again...
Screw everything.
I cleaned the "red ropes" that turned out to be the bloodstains of this idiot that shows up bleeding to death on a Subway at 2 am, turned off the lights and closed an hour early. I exited through the backdoor and he was still there, which was good because I could help him, but at the same time bad because I felt he'd be the type to reject aid in any way. If he hadn't run away, he just couldn't. And that was bad. Really bad.
I got down on my knees, put on the plastic gloves I had kindly borrowed from the store, along with a first aid kit that was compulsory to have in there and shook him once. Twice. Thrice. He wouldn't wake up.
For a moment, I froze again. That's what I thought, I knew this guy. He had shown up several times asking for the missing soul that Jisung had turned to, with some blond boy with a deep voice and a strong accent. But never alone, never late at night, and most importantly, never bleeding.
"Hey," I murmured. I repeated myself, each time louder, but still gently. Suddenly I heard him groan, and I couldn't help but smile calmly for a second.
"What...?" His soft tone almost weakened me, but I knew deep down that he could pass out again any minute, and maybe I wouldn't be able to wake him up again.
"It's OK. I'll take care of this, my guy. You are a lucky bastard 'cause I know what I'm doing, but I need to take you elsewhere. I can't patch you up in this place. Can you stand up?"
He weakly moved his arm from above his torso and I saw the worst part of it. Let me tell you, those were some large cuts. Still, I refrained from expressing anything, no disgust nor pity. I knew that Brown Eyes was in a whole lot of pain and trouble, but he most likely knew that too.
"Whaddya think, can I?" He showed a weak yet sarcastic smile.
Son of a bitch. "That's my question here, smiley face. You either do so or you die due to blood loss in an alley behind a Subway." I smiled back.
He frowned and tried to get up, but failed and if I hadn't caught his arm mid-way and passed it over my shoulders for support, he would've fallen to the ground again. I took off the cloth I was wearing as a hairband and made him keep pressure on the biggest wound.
"It's only a couple of blocks away, on the street in front of us. Will you make it?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried. He simply started walking. I just hoped no one would see us.
I helped him walk till we arrived at the number four, with its red old hideous door, and I supported his weight as he slowly lay on the wall as I opened the door. As we walked he kept mumbling, saying nonsense, talking about some 'district nine' but when we entered the building he shut up, and I swear I heard a silent cry when he saw no elevator.
"Second floor. You got this."
The fact that he didn't answer, not even with a rude comment made me worry a bit more. We did the same thing at my apartment's door and I made him wait just a bit more, running inside and taking the oldest towels I could find and I made him lay down on the now covered couch.
Okay, it's just an almost-dead guy cut like sliced cheese on your sofa. You're a med student, and you work night shifts. You've dealt with worse.
As soon as he settled down, I saw a relaxed yet bothered expression on his face, and I felt a bit bad because of it, but I couldn't let him sleep, not yet.
"Stay awake, please. I need you awake, uh..."
"Kim... call me Kim," he said, almost in a whisper.
"This is going to hurt, Kim," I said in almost a sing-song voice. I was surprised to hear him sort of giggling.
"Not more than this already." His eyes were like tunnels, looking sunken, lost, looking as if someone had turned the lights off.
"Sorry beforehand..." I opened the first aid kit and sat on a stool that I took from the kitchen.
Gloves still on my hands, I took my now ruined and bloodstained cloth and nonchalantly ripped open what was left of his shirt, to see all the cuts. I counted five. The bleeding had already stopped, but I had to clean each wound on his torso and forearms so they wouldn't get infected. I took out sterile wipes and cleaned the three wounds that were on his torso. Fortunately for both of us, the cuts weren't deep enough, so no stitches were needed. I noticed every time he flinched, and for some reason, it pained me each time. I shook my head, trying to get whatever emotions out of the situation as I dashed to the kitchen and took a damp cloth and used it due to the lack of antiseptic I could use to clean the blood off his body. I then took clean gauze and wiped the wounds dry, and used a big sterile dressing to cover each.
"Hey, Kim. Kim, lean on me."
He shook his head slightly, looking confused.
"F-For what?"
For some reason, the question annoyed me.
"Support, dipshit. I need you to sit still now, so I can treat your forearms and finish up."
What else would I ask this shit for?
After I finished, the so-called Kim lay down and fell asleep almost instantly. I took a blanket from my room and quietly sat on the armchair in front of where he was.
The guy sleeping on my couch had five cuts and bruised knuckles.
I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh.
Next time, I'm packing up my crayons and leaving.
~Kats, who literally found this out of luck right after remembering that she writes a whole lot of shit to forget about it lol
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formula1bby · 7 months
Text
Fortune Favors the Brave Ch. 1
Carlos Sainz x driver!fem!oc
wc: 8216
SLOW BURN MULTIPART STORY, begins in 2019 but we will be jumping around slightly just bc I will not survive writing out every season until the current one XD Later on in the story there will be references to an oc for a different story that I will also be releasing a teaser for within the next couple of weeks but as of right now she is not relevant to Aaliyah's story.
Warnings: descriptions of a panic/anxiety attack, obnoxious reporters, lots of swearing XD
A/N: welp, it's finally here! After almost a year of me talking about this I actually finished editing chapter 1! Let me know what you guys think and if you want to be included in the tag list for this!
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Formula One is a dream for many drivers, yet so few of them actually get to achieve that dream. It’s such a cruel fate that these drivers face but for those that are able to turn their dreams into reality, it’s everything. One such lucky driver was 18 year old Aaliyah Thompson. She had the fortunate opportunity to be a full time driver for Toro Rosso in 2017, straight out of winning the Formula Renault 2.0 Litre championship in 2016. She quickly showed her merit and earned eight points at her first Grand Prix (in a less than adequate car), proving those that doubted her wrong. Although, some say that Aaliyah making it into Formula One was just as cruel a fate as never achieving that dream. Being the first female driver to actually start a grand prix since Lella Lombardi in 1976 as well as the youngest driver to have ever entered a grand prix, being only 16 years old in her first season, meant people held her to a very different set of standards. Any mistake meant that her seat would be questioned immediately and the media, who were always breathing down her neck like wolves, would get that misstep they’d been waiting for and pounce.
Aaliyah would be lying if she ever said she regretted her decision to sign with Toro Rosso. Sure, it was hard and the competition she faced in F1 was much more difficult than Formula Renault, but this was her dream and she’d be damned if she let anyone or anything dampen that for her.
Walking through the parking lot, Aaliyah groaned at the horde of media surrounding the entrance to the paddock. Maggie, her PR manager and best friend, lightly smacked Aaliyah’s arm to remind her cameras were everywhere, including the Netflix camera that was going to be following them for the whole weekend.
“Play nice, please,” Maggie said. “You don’t have to answer any questions yet since your first media appearance isn’t until noon, but at least look like you’re happy to see people.”
“I know, I know,” Aaliyah agreed, grabbing her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. “I’m just not ready for everyone to ask about it.”
Maggie looked sympathetically at the 18 year old as they walked into the paddock for the first race of the 2019 season. They scanned their badges and, as expected, people immediately started asking Aaliyah about her crash and shoving microphones in her face.
“Are you nervous to drive in another grand prix after your crash in Mexico last year?” one reporter tried to ask Aaliyah.
“She’s not answering any questions right now,” Maggie explained, pushing the reporter away. “She has a scheduled media appearance at noon, you can talk to her then.”
Aaliyah could feel her throat tightening as people still tried to shout questions at her and blocked their path to the AlphaTauri hospitality. Maggie tried to explain loudly to them that they weren’t taking any questions right now, but the reporters either didn’t hear her or didn’t care. Aaliyah felt her breathing shorten as she began to hyperventilate. She looked calm to the cameras but anyone that knew her could tell she was anything but. Aaliyah tapped Maggie’s bicep three times, a signal the two had come up with that would let Maggie know they needed to get out of whatever situation asap. Maggie noticed it and immediately grabbed Aaliyah’s arm and pulled her through the swarm of reporters, no regard for who she bumped into.
Once they were out of the swarm, Maggie fell back in step beside Aaliyah so she could check on her.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly. Aaliyah shook her head in response, trying to hold back tears until they got to hospitality. “Do you want to stop walking?” Another head shake. “Alright, let’s get you to hospitality then.”
Aaliyah nodded and the two sped walked to hospitality and were greeted by cool air conditioning as they finally got away from all of the prying cameras, telling the Netflix camera to give them space. Some of the AlphaTauri workers tried to greet Aaliyah but were instantly silenced by the look Maggie gave them. She pulled Aaliyah into her driver’s room and set her down on the couch.
Aaliyah’s face was blank as she tried to focus on her breathing. Hot tears were falling down her face when she couldn’t calm down. She could faintly hear someone talking to her but couldn’t make out any of the words. Her vision was blurring and she started grabbing at her head and pulling at her hair, wanting this panic attack to stop. She felt her hands being gently pulled away from her head and soothing circles being rubbed into her palms. One of her hands was placed on the person’s, Aaliyah supposed it was Maggie’s, chest so that she could feel her breathing and replicate it. Aaliyah did her best to take slow, deep breaths and found herself calming down.
“Liyah?” she heard Maggie say. “If you can hear me, know that you’re safe. We’re in your driver room and there are no cameras and no media in here. It’s just me and you.”
Aaliyah nodded, letting Maggie know that she could hear her. Closing her eyes, Aaliyah continued to focus on her breathing and Maggie’s soothing voice. It felt like an eternity before Aaliyah opened her eyes and saw Maggie, crouched in front of her, holding her hands to ground her.
“Thank you,” Aaliyah shakily said. “I d-d-don’t kn-know what ha-hap-happened.”
There was that damn stutter again. Aaliyah didn’t miss it but knew that she got like this when she was shaken up. Just another unseen side effect of her concussion from last season.
“It’s alright, Liyah,” Maggie assured, sitting down next to the girl and rubbing circles on her back. “I should have gotten you out of there sooner, that one is on me.”
“You couldn’t have stopped it,” she said, taking time to think about what she was saying to stop her stutter. “Unfortunately the media just fucking sucks.”
Maggie laughed as Aaliyah continued to calm down from her panic attack. The two friends talked about anything not related to racing or the media until Noah, Aaliyah’s trainer, knocked on the door lightly. Maggie got up and opened the door to let the British man into the room, the Netflix cameras following him.
“How’s my favorite driver doing?” he asked as he set his bag on the massage table.
“Had a panic attack already so I’m doing peachy,” she said with a laugh and a cheeky smile.
Noah looked over to Maggie to see her response to this and Maggie just smiled and shrugged her shoulders, just glad to see Aaliyah back to herself. Maggie bid Noah and Aaliyah goodbye after reminding the two to not let Aaliyah be late to the media conference with both of them telling her they would be there on time.
“Alright,” Noah said, pulling a resistance band out of his bag for Aaliyah to use. “Why don’t you go ahead and put your hair up however you’re gonna have it for the track walk later before we get started.”
Aaliyah nodded and started putting her hair in braids while chatting with Noah.
“Shit,” Aaliyah said as she got to the end of the first braid. “I don’t have any hair ties.”
Noah was immediately handing her one he kept on his wrist at all times for her. It was something he learned very quickly after becoming her trainer, that she always lost hair ties and never found them again so he had to always have one or two on him. Aaliyah and Noah talked some more about the schedule for the day as Aaliyah finished her other braid, accepting the other hair tie from Noah.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m ready,” Aaliyah responded. “I’m still nervous but if I don’t get back to it now and start strong, I might never be back to normal.”
“Makes sense,” Noah said, handing Aaliyah the resistance band. “I’m proud of you, though.”
Aaliyah smiled at Noah, who was more of a friend than just a trainer to her. She started doing exercises with the resistance band as she talked some more with Noah. He told her about how his fiancee, Bridget, was doing and showed her pictures of their son. Aaliyah checked her phone to see that her boyfriend had texted her. Smiling, she opened the message app and responded to his good luck message, ending it with an “I love you”.
“That Jake you’re messaging?” Noah asked the teen.
“Yeah,” she said, putting her phone away. “He couldn’t come to this weekend’s race. Said he had a shoot he and his team were doing and couldn’t change the date.”
Noah nodded, understanding that since Jake was a content creator he also had an incredibly busy schedule. That being said, he was a little annoyed because he knew Jake had promised Aaliyah he would be there for her first race of the season. Noah always looked out for Aaliyah, seeing her as his kid sister since he was almost 10 years older than her. When she had started dating Jake right after Abu Dhabi the previous year, he was hesitant to accept him but quickly realized how happy he made Aaliyah. That made him okay in Noah’s book.
“Do you want to go say hi to the other drivers?” Noah asked as he packed his bag back up.
“Yeah, that sounds fun,” Aaliyah agreed, putting her hat and sunglasses on.
The two left the driver room and walked around the paddock, a Netflix camera following them the whole time. Aaliyah saw Daniel from a mile away, walking with Kevin, and ran up to him, jumping onto his back. He stumbled a bit before holding onto her legs to keep her from falling off, both of them laughing wildly.
“Hey, kiddo!” he greeted. “How you going?”
“Doing alright,” she responded, sliding off of Daniel’s back and giving him a proper hug. “Bit of a rough morning but I’m sure it’ll get better.”
“Media pestering you?”
“Yeah.”
“Do I need to fight anyone?”
“Not yet.”
Aaliyah greeted Kevin with a hug as well, always having a soft spot for the older man. The three chatted as they walked to the media area. They were grouped together for the press conference, which Aaliyah was very excited about. Checo completed the group for the press conference and they chatted as they waited for their cue to go sit down. Checo noticed that Aaliyah’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes but told himself he would talk to her later so that he didn’t take her focus away from the task at hand. He was glad that he was in her group for the press conference, feeling like he had a duty to help protect her from the media.
“Checo?” Aaliyah asked, speaking Spanish. “You alright?”
“Just a bit nervous for the first race of the season, mija,” he said, not wanting her to know he was worried about her. “You know how it is: the media is gonna throw a lot at us today.”
Aaliyah’s face screwed up in disgust, knowing all too well the types of questions she’d be asked today. Maggie had prepped her as best as she could but everyone knew that it would still be rough on her.
“Yeah, fuck them.”
Checo let out a loud laugh, drawing Daniel and Kevin out of their conversation to look at the two with confusion and amusement. Their PR managers quickly shushed them, knowing that if they were too loud everyone inside the press room could hear them. A few minutes later, the previous group cleared out of the press room and the group of four entered. They took their seats, Aaliyah sitting between Checo and Kevin, and put their mics on, giggling to each other about a snarky comment Aaliyah had made directly before they all walked in.
“Welcome,” a reporter said after they’d all settled down. “How are you guys?” A mix of ‘good’ and ‘excited’ were said in response. “I have a question for all of you: how are you feeling going into this race, it being the first one of the season?”
“I’ll start,” Daniel said with a laugh. “I’m excited. You know, we have a good car this year and I’m looking forward to making some pretty epic moments with the team.”
“Yeah,” Kevin agreed, going down the line. “I think it’ll be a good season. The car felt good during testing and I’m sure there will be a learning curve for it, but I’m optimistic this year.”
“I’m excited,” Aaliyah said with a grin. “It’s gonna be a great season and I’m super stoked to be teamed up with Alex this year. He seems like a great driver and I’m counting on a lot of fun battles on track.”
“It will be a very interesting season,” Checo said. “I’m looking forward to this race and I hope to earn some good points this weekend.”
The next five minutes were filled with questions for the four drivers. Aaliyah was both relieved and surprised that there had been no questions about her Mexico crash. Her relief was short-lived, however, when a particularly invasive reporter asked a question.
“I have a question for Aaliyah,” he started. “How are you feeling starting a new season so soon after your crash in Mexico? Don’t you think it’s too early for your mental state to handle the stress? Have you questioned your place and ability in this sport since your crash and the comments that everyone made about you?”
Checo was about to speak up to defend Aaliyah when she lightly touched his leg with a finger under the table, telling him it was okay.
“I don’t know, because that was definitely more than one question,” Aaliyah started, pointing out his lack of press conference etiquette. “How do you feel about trying to make someone relive trauma for your story?”
“So you’re not gonna give me an answer?” the reporter asked.
“Hell no,” Aaliyah responded with an incredulous chuckle. “If you can’t be respectful when you interview someone that recently went through something incredibly traumatic then you don’t deserve answers to your questions.”
“I’m just trying to get answers to questions we’re all wondering.”
“Stay wondering then.”
Checo gave Aaliyah a look, silently asking if she was okay. She subtly nodded back, taking a deep breath as the next reporter asked a question. Kevin kept looking over at Aaliyah throughout the rest of the media conference, making sure she was fine.
“We have time for one last question,” the facilitator told everyone.
“My question is for Aaliyah,” a female reporter spoke up. “I understand if you don’t want to talk about your crash and how you’re feeling, it was obviously traumatic for you, but I was just wondering if you would be willing to tell us a bit about how you got back on your feet afterwards. It was truly inspirational seeing you come back to the track as soon as possible last season and I would love for you to share with us what motivated you in your quick recovery.”
Aaliyah smiled softly at the woman. Finally, someone that treats me like a person. She thought.
“I appreciate you asking that in such a respectful way,” Aaliyah started, giving a pointed glare to the reporter that had been so rude to her before. “Yeah, honestly it has been a super long healing process for me. Physically, I was completely healed before Abu Dhabi. Mentally,” a pause. “Mentally I’m still healing. Like I’ve said, and been very open about, it was incredibly traumatic. Thankfully I’ve had an awesome support system with my friends, family, my team, and my boyfriend. It’s really because of them that I was able to get back in the car so soon after my crash. Plus, I’ve always said that part of the reason I’m here is to show girls that they can do whatever they want and that nothing can keep them down for long. So long answer short: I had lots of support from friends and family and wanted to make sure I’m a good role model for other girls and women.”
“Thank you,” the reporter responded. “I wish you all the best as you continue to recover.”
Aaliyah nodded in thanks as the facilitator ended the press conference. The four drivers took their mics off and walked out of the room, meeting their PR managers outside. Maggie gave Aaliyah a hug, sorry she couldn’t stop the first reporter from asking about her crash.
“Liyah,” Kevin started, getting the young driver’s attention. “You okay?”
“Honestly,” Aaliyah said, side-hugging Maggie. “Not really. But I’ll get over it. It’s not too different from any other season where reporters don’t respect me.”
“That’s not something you should get used to,” Kevin noted.
“I know,” she said, resting her head against Maggie’s shoulder. The blonde wrapped an arm around her friend for comfort. “But if I don’t get used to it, I’ll continue to be affected by it. And I’m sick of crying after every press conference and interview.”
The three drivers looked at her with a tinge of pity. Even though they knew that media duties were always rough for the 18 year old, they were unaware of the extent of the toll it took on her. Maggie glanced at her watch and pulled Aaliyah away from the uncomfortable situation by saying that she had to do her track walk soon and needed to meet up with her team. Aaliyah gave them all a hug in parting and said she’d talk to them later that evening.
“I’m gonna get that reporter fired,” Maggie said, referring to the rude reporter. Aaliyah laughed as Maggie continued her incredibly unprofessional rant. “Seriously! Who does he think he is? Talking to you like that. I’ll shave my head before I let anyone disrespect you like that.”
Aaliyah laughed loudly as the two friends walked back to the AlphaTauri hospitality. The two made it back and Alex was sitting in the lounge area, eating some of the snacks available to them. Aaliyah smiled as she parted ways with Maggie, who was likely off to plan something for Aaliyah to do, to sit down across from her rookie teammate.
“Hey, Alex!” she greeted as she sat down. “How are you?”
“Oh hey, Liyah!” he said around a mouthful of crisps. “I’m doing alright, less nervous today than I thought I would be, but I’m sure I’ll make up for it tomorrow.”
Aaliyah laughed a bit at his response. It was odd, she was the younger one on the team but was the more experienced driver. Alex looked up to her to follow her lead. Not literally of course, Aaliyah was much too short for that to be a possibility.
“It’s honestly not that bad once you’re in the car,” Aaliyah assured, sitting back on the couch and crossing her legs. “Yes, the cars are different from other Formula series’ but it’s racing just like you’ve done your whole life. You’ll do grand, I’m sure.”
“I appreciate that, thank you,” Alex said honestly. “How was your press conference, by the way?”
“Long answer or short answer?” Aaliyah asked, rolling her eyes.
“We’ve got time.”
Aaliyah laughed at Alex’s response before telling him about the press conference, going into great detail (per his request) about the rude reporter she had called out. Alex was just as appalled as Maggie and was ready to get up and punch the reporter for his treatment of Aaliyah.
“He really said that to you?” he asked incredulously.
“Yeah,” she responded. “I was kind of expecting questions about it, but definitely nothing like that. It kind of shook me up a bit.”
“Understandable.” A pause. “I’m gonna fight him.”
“I think you’ll have to get in line,” Aaliyah joked. “Checo, Dan, and Maggie have first dibs. Maggie said something about getting him fired and shaving her head before she let someone talk to me like that.” Alex laughed at this, easily seeing the fiery blonde saying that. “It was all very unprofessional but sweet nonetheless so I’m not gonna snitch on her.”
Maggie, of course, chose that moment to walk back into the lounge area. Aaliyah laughed at the timing as her PR manager raised an eyebrow at her and went to stand behind Aaliyah on the couch. She rested her hands on her shoulders, gripping them lightly, before speaking.
“What’s this I hear about you snitching on me?” she asked.
“No, I said I wasn’t snitching on you,” Aaliyah clarified with a chuckle.
Maggie released Aaliyah from her grasp before immediately jumping back to business. Alex laughed at the interaction between the two, clearly seeing how close they were. Maggie finished telling Aaliyah her schedule for the rest of the day and stayed to chat for a few minutes longer.
“How long have you guys known each other?” Alex asked.
“I think we met my second to last year of karting?” Aaliyah asked Maggie to clarify.
“Yeah,” Maggie agreed. “It was one of the races where you beat my brother. He was not happy about it but I remember thinking I wanted to be friends with you.”
“And now she won’t leave me alone,” she joked to Alex.
Maggie smacked Aaliyah on the back of the head, rolling her eyes. Aaliyah let out an undignified noise at the contact and rubbed the back of her head where it had been hit, protesting that she recently had a concussion. Alex let out a loud laugh at the two’s interaction. Maggie gave Aaliyah a light tap on top of her head and said goodbye, saying she was leaving to get lunch for her and Aaliyah.
“Were you nervous before your first race weekend in F1?” Alex quietly asked the younger girl once Maggie had left.
Aaliyah smiled at Alex softly. She knew the nerves and the media were likely getting to him much more than he had been letting on.
“I was terrified,” Aaliyah said with a chuckle. “I was paired up with a more experienced and older driver, I was driving for the junior team of a team that had recently been champions for four consecutive years, and I was gonna be surrounded by a bunch of guys I didn’t know. Obviously my experience is different from yours, but if I ended up doing well, you’ll do just fine. You’re more experienced than I was when I joined.”
“Thanks, Liyah,” he said sincerely.
“Of course, Alex,” she responded.
“Is Jake going to be here at all this weekend?” Alex asked as he shoved more crisps into his mouth.
“No,” Aaliyah said, tired smile on her face. “He said he had a shoot he was doing for a big video and they couldn’t change the shoot date so close to it.”
“Didn’t you say he promised he’d be here for your first race of the season?”
“I did say that, yes. Apparently money is more important than supporting me and attending our first race weekend as a couple.”
“That’s messed up.”
Aaliyah nodded, clearly annoyed by her boyfriend’s decisions. As Alex looked at her, his eyebrows scrunched together in annoyance. He had met Jake a few times during pre-season events and each time made him wonder what on earth Aaliyah saw in him. She was so much more mature, successful, and overall pleasant to be around than the guy she chose to date. They seemed happy, so Alex didn’t say anything. He really wanted to though. Aaliyah already felt like his sister and even though he knew she didn’t need him to protect her, he felt like he had an obligation to look out for her.
At that moment, Aaliyah’s phone rang. She looked at the caller ID and saw that Max was calling her. Sighing, she put the phone to her ear.
“What do you need?” she asked.
“How come you think I need something every time I call you? Can’t I just want to talk to my best friend?” the Dutch man asked.
“You can but you never do,” Aaliyah responded with a laugh.
“I’m coming over and we’re talking about it.”
The smile fell off of Aaliyah’s face after hearing that. She knew Max knew her better than almost everyone, besides her family and Lance, and he knew how much she was really affected by the media that day.
“Okay.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
Aaliyah sighed and ended the call. Alex looked at her, worried.
“What was that about?” he asked.
“Max being an annoyingly good best friend,” she responded.
That was an unexpected twist for Alex, but he decided to leave whatever the two friends were going to talk about between them. Aaliyah and Alex made small talk in the lounge area until Max barged into the AlphaTauri hospitality and made eye contact with Aaliyah. Alex laughed as Aaliyah hung her head and followed Max to her driver’s room as he scolded her for not telling him what happened in the press conference and how he had to find out from Daniel. He closed the door to her room and crossed his arms as he looked at her. She took her hat off and set it down as she turned to look at Max, more accurately to avoid his gaze by looking anywhere but him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I was going to tell you,” Aaliyah started. “I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.”
“Aaliyah,” he sighed.
“I know! Okay?! I know!” she snapped. “You told me to tell you if something like this happened and you told me to not be snarky. But I couldn’t help it! He was being an ass!”
Max waited for Aaliyah to calm down from her outburst, knowing she needed it and wouldn’t do this in front of anyone else aside from Lance, Checo, and maybe Pierre. Aaliyah looked at him and Max saw how vulnerable she really felt. He said her name softly and pulled her into a tight hug. She let her tears fall, completely overwhelmed by the day already. Max held his friend until he knew she was okay and she started pulling away. He watched as she wiped her face free of tears and turned to look in the mirror in her driver room to wipe away any mascara that had smudged.
“You feel better now?” he asked.
“Yeah,” she replied, grabbing her water bottle and taking a sip. “Thanks for always being there for me.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Max said, giving the younger girl another hug. “You’re stuck with me.”
“There’s worse people to be stuck with,” she joked. “Can you even imagine if I was stuck with Robert?”
Max laughed out loud at this. It’s not that either of them disliked Kubica, but he definitely would not be at the top of Aaliyah’s list of people she’d go to when she needed someone. The two friends waited in Aaliyah’s driver room until she was completely composed and no longer looked like she had just been crying. Aaliyah led Max to the front door of the hospitality and gave him a hug before sending him on his merry way. Turning back around, Alex was scrolling on social media on the couch and gave Aaliyah a smile as she walked back over to the sitting area. She followed his lead and pulled out her phone to scroll through various media feeds, eventually settling on watching videos on YouTube.
At some point Maggie and Alex’s PR manager brought food back for lunch and the four of them ate together in the lounge area. When they were done, they cleaned up and Aaliyah went to her driver room to grab her hat and came back out to see her team ready to go to the track for their track walk. Aaliyah put her hat on and grabbed a water bottle from Maggie’s hand. Putting on her sunglasses, Aaliyah told her team she was ready and they all bid their goodbyes to those present in the hospitality and made their way to the track.
Walking through the paddock was rough. Aaliyah was the hot topic of the season start despite the season’s three rookies, the dramatic end of her Mexico Grand Prix the prior season not losing any of its headlining ability yet, causing reporters to flock to her in the hopes they could glean a bit of that popularity for themselves. Aaliyah did her best to ignore the media as her team formed a sort of barricade around her to protect her from prying eyes and loud, invasive questions. When they finally got to the track, her team allowed Aaliyah to walk onto it first to escape the reporters. They quickly followed her lead and began their track walk.
Aaliyah couldn’t help but let her mind wander a bit on the track. She always ended up making her team do multiple laps on track so that she could get a good feel for it, something that the media had lovingly dubbed “fortune telling” (the term going hand-in-hand with the nickname “Miss Fortune” that they had also given her) since she almost always had a more accurate reading of the track than her competitors.
“What do you think, Liyah?” Jacques asked his driver, his British accent a familiar voice to her ears.
Aaliyah was snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at her race engineer with wide eyes. She smiled sheepishly and Jacques laughed, knowing she didn’t have a clue what they had been talking about.
“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“It’s alright,” Jacques said with a smile. “I was asking what you thought about this turn and how you think you’ll be able to go with it?”
Aaliyah stood still and examined the entrance, apex, and exit of the turn with careful eyes. It was a sight to see, the girl becoming incredibly serious very quickly, a sight that her team tried to never take for granted. They enjoyed watching her process, especially because she always gave them great insight about the practicalities of the track and how she could realistically drive it. Crouching down, Aaliyah placed a hand on the track lightly. She wasn’t a superstitious person, but she was a little stitious. She didn’t think the track could literally talk to her, but she could almost feel how the track felt on those days. It didn’t make sense to any of the other drivers or the engineers, some of them regularly teasing her for it, but ultimately they accepted that her readings were pretty accurate more often than not. Aaliyah studied the track with scrutiny, hoping to glean any information that she could from it.
“How does it feel?” Jacques asked the girl.
“Not sure yet,” Aaliyah responded. “Not bad, not good, just… nothing right now. May need to do a few more laps before I can really tell.”
Jacques nodded, accepting her answer. She would always tell him what the track felt like to her so that he could change strategies accordingly. Her strategists also made sure to take her readings into account, knowing all too well what could happen if they didn’t. On good weekends, Aaliyah described the track as warm, not like warm weather, more like the fuzzy feeling you get when surrounded by the people you love. An inviting feeling, for sure. Those were the weekends that everyone could expect her to do extraordinarily well and she normally delivered the expected or better results. Naturally, those were Aaliyah’s favorites. Some weekends, the track didn’t feel warm, but it also didn’t feel like the cold that filled her when the track felt bad. Those weekends were a toss-up about what would happen. When the track felt bad, it was a cold that washed over Aaliyah as if she was in primary school and about to give a speech. It made her nervous, but she wasn’t filled with dread. Those races, more often than not, she didn’t deliver the results that were expected of her.
The worst of the feelings, Aaliyah had only experienced a handful of times in her entire racing career, but it was an unforgettable feeling. It was the cold dread that didn’t just wash over her, it poured down on her continually the entire weekend. Imagine standing on the edge of an unstable cliff with no safety gear ensuring your safe return home and certain doom if you were to fall. That was the worst feeling Aaliyah had ever experienced. She felt it at Mexico the year prior and back in Formula Renault once or twice. Every time, she had a bad crash and didn’t finish the race.
Aaliyah was jumpscared out of her reverie by Daniel Ricciardo biking past her with a loud “Whooop!” Placing a hand on her chest to calm down, Aaliyah flipped Daniel off as he sped away. He glanced back at the girl and his grin somehow got bigger as he laughed loudly at her reaction.
“I hope you fall!” Aaliyah yelled after him, not really meaning it. “Aussies, am I right?”
Her team laughed with the British girl before getting on with the rest of the track walk. They walked around the track twice so that they could get better bearings on the track conditions. Deciding they got all the information they needed, Aaliyah’s team told her they were going to head back to the garage to come up with a plan for practice and to let them know when she got a better read on the track herself. Noah stayed behind with her to chat as the rest of their team left.
“You get a good reading yet?” Noah asked his friend.
“It’s weird,” Aaliyah started, looking at Noah. “For a second there I thought it felt pretty good but now? Now I just feel nothing. Not good or bad.”
“We’ll let the strategy guys know then,” he said with a smile. “I’m always amazed by your readings, have I ever told you that?”
“You’ve mentioned it once or twice,” she responded with a chuckle. “I could stand to hear it more often. Too many people say it’s weird.”
“Fuck them, then,” Noah grimaced. “It’s incredible because you’re almost always more accurate than the others.”
“You’re too good to me, Noah,” Aaliyah said with a smile.
“Nah,” he disagreed, pulling the girl into his side in a hug. “I’m not good enough to you. Even if you’re a dumbass sometimes.”
“There it is,” she laughed, knowing he could never be sentimental for too long.
The two laughed as they made their way off the track and into the garage to greet the engineers. Aaliyah said hello to both sides of the AlphaTauri garage before heading back to the hospitality to do some of the social media duties Maggie had told her about prior to the track walk. She waved to some fans and took pictures with some people that were in the paddock before finally reaching the refuge that was the hospitality.
Noah let her walk in first to escape the mass of people and cameras that were trying to follow her. Alex was no longer in the sitting area of the hospitality but Maggie was there to greet Aaliyah and Noah. The three went to Aaliyah’s driver room to get Aaliyah ready for the social media videos. Aaliyah sat down on the couch and took off her hat and sunglasses, setting them on a small table next to her.
“Drink water,” Maggie told Aaliyah, handing her a water bottle. “You look pale.”
“Thanks, mum,” Aaliyah said with a light smirk.
She didn’t actually argue with Maggie and drank the water given to her. Noah and Aaliyah chatted as Maggie finalized a few things on her phone and let in one of the team photographers to take some natural pictures to start off the weekend. Maggie finally finished whatever it was she had been doing and turned to Aaliyah.
“Okay, Liyah,” she started. “You have one more social media video to make showing off your helmet for the year and then you’ll be free for the rest of the day.”
“Free as in I get to leave or free as in I have to stay in case something comes up?” she asked with a cheeky smile.
“Free as in you get to leave, brat,” Maggie said, lightly smacking Aaliyah’s head with her folder. “Your helmet is in the bag on the table. Also make sure you bring a new sharpie tomorrow, you’ll have to sign some things before and after practice.”
Aaliyah nodded as she got up and grabbed her helmet for the 2019 season. It was her favorite helmet that she’d had so far, with swirling reds and yellows adorning the majority of the surface area. Her six-year-old brother, Leo, had helped her design it with input from their ten-year-old brother, Hunter. She sat back down on the couch and held the helmet in her hands to show it off to the camera that was about to be recording her. Maggie gave her a thumbs up, telling her it had started and Aaliyah began talking.
“Hello, everyone, Liyah here!” Aaliyah started with a grin. “I hope you’re all as excited as me for the start of the new season and I wanted to share with you guys my helmet for the 2019 season.” She lifted it up higher to better show the camera what it looked like. “It was actually designed by my two younger brothers and refined by my sister and myself. My youngest brother really clung to the Red Bull colors of yellow and red and did some sweeping waves for the beach town we grew up in in England and my other brother included a paw print of the family dog that he somehow coerced her to cooperate for.” She turned the helmet so the visor was facing her and pointed out the paw print with the dog’s name underneath to the camera. “This helmet doesn’t have some huge symbolism or anything, it’s mostly a testament to my family and how much they mean to me. It’s really a way for me to stay close to them while I’m on track, which is something I started last year after Mexico when I put a picture of them in my helmet.” She let the helmet go lower in frame as she finished the video off. “Anyways, thank you guys for your support and I can’t wait to see you all this season! Liyah out.”
She gave a two finger salute and Maggie ended the recording.
“Nicely done, Liyah,” she said, turning the camera off to put it away. “Alright, I want to head back to the hotel so that I can edit this and get it up right away on your channels and send it to Mike for the AlphaTauri channels. Once you’re packed up, we’ll head out, okay?”
Aaliyah nodded and got up to pack her stuff up. It was a quick process since most of it was still in her bag. Putting her helmet away and zipping up her bag, Aaliyah was ready and slung her backpack over her shoulder. Noah and Maggie both stood up and the three walked out together, saying goodbye to those that were in the common area of the hospitality. They walked out to the carpark, completely ignoring any reporters that were being obnoxious and yelling questions at Aaliyah. She did, however, stop for photos with some fans and signed some things when asked. They finally made it out to the carpark and Maggie and Aaliyah said goodbye to Noah, knowing they probably wouldn’t see him again before the next morning.
“You cool if I drive?” Aaliyah asked Maggie, knowing that sometimes Maggie couldn’t handle someone else driving her.
“I appreciate the concern,” Maggie said. “But I never mind you driving me. Noah on the other hand…”
Maggie trailed off and the two girls laughed as they put their bags in the boot of the car and got in. It was a relatively short drive back to the hotel and the music that Maggie played made it seem that much shorter. Once they got to the hotel and parked, they grabbed their bags out of the car and walked in together. Their rooms were on the same floor so they accompanied each other in the elevator and separated to go down the hallways that held their respective rooms.
“Thank god,” Aaliyah said quietly as she unlocked her hotel room and walked inside.
She immediately dumped her bag on the chair in the living room and went straight back to the bedroom so that she could get ready for either a bath or shower, she hadn’t decided which one she wanted yet. She had taken off her shoes and belt and was about to take off her shirt when there was a knock at her door. Quietly groaning, Aaliyah walked to her front door. Looking through the peephole, she saw Carlos standing at her door.
The two were pretty good friends, having been teammates during Aaliyah’s rookie season with Toro Rosso, and often checked up with each other at least once every race weekend. There were some exceptions of course, but generally they would make a point to see each other outside of the paddock every race weekend.
Aaliyah sighed a bit and opened the door to her friend.
“Do you do this often, Sainz?” she asked teasingly.
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“Knock on women’s hotel doors immediately after they get back,” Aaliyah chuckled.
Carlos’ eyes widened a bit, worried he was intruding now, and he started to turn to leave while talking.
“Sorry,” he started. “I didn’t realize you had only just got back from the circuit. I can leave you for the night?”
Aaliyah laughed and grabbed his arm, stopping him from actually leaving.
“I’m kidding, Carlos,” she said in Spanish. “You are more than welcome to keep me company for a while tonight.”
Carlos smiled as Aaliyah gestured for him to go into her hotel room. He walked in and gawked at the size.
“Your room is this big?” he asked incredulously. “Mine looks like a closet compared.”
“It’s the Red Bull money,” Aaliyah laughed as the door closed behind her. “That and the brand new sponsor.”
Carlos let out a hum of agreement as Aaliyah went to her bedroom and grabbed clothes to change into, announcing to her friend that she would be out shortly. She closed the door of the bedroom and quickly changed into more comfortable clothes and tossed one of Jake’s hoodies over her shirt, the piece of clothing dwarfing her given the height difference between her and her boyfriend. Aaliyah pulled her hair out of the braids and into a ponytail before walking back out to Carlos.
“Is that Jake’s?” Carlos asked.
“Yeah,” Aaliyah said in Spanish. “He gave it to me before I left for Australia.”
“Didn’t he say at dinner last month that he would join you this weekend?” he asked, confused as to why she was alone for the race weekend.
“He did,” she responded, clearly upset by the fact that he wasn’t there as she plopped onto the couch and set her feet in his lap at the other end. “But he said that they had a video shoot that they couldn’t change the date for and apparently it’s a huge one.”
“But still,” Carlos started, his face screwing up in distaste for Jake’s actions. “That’s not right to cancel on you like that, especially since it would be your first race after announcing your relationship.” Aaliyah nodded with a tired smile but Carlos wasn’t done with his rant yet. “Not to mention all of the times that you didn’t go to parties and events because you were going to one of his video shoots. He needs to do the same for you.”
“You’re preaching to the choir right now, Carlos,” Aaliyah said with a dry laugh. “But there’s nothing I can do about it right now and I want to have that conversation when neither of us have some big event happening.”
Carlos hummed in agreement with Aaliyah’s plan and the two fell into a comfortable silence. They sat like that, Aaliyah’s feet still in Carlos’ lap and his arm resting on her calves, for a few minutes before Aaliyah started to reach for the remote to turn the tv on. As she grabbed it, Carlos began to speak again.
“If I’m being honest,” he started, making Aaliyah pause her action. “This wasn’t just a social call.” She looked at him, confused, as she set the remote back down. “I heard what happened today at your press conference. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Aaliyah shook her head as she let it rest against the back of the couch.
“Is everyone talking about that or something?” she asked, switching back to English and clearly annoyed by the interaction being the gossip of the day. “Who did you even hear about it from?”
“Well,” Carlos started, hesitating to say how he heard of it. With a pointed look from Aaliyah his resolve crumbled and he spoke. “I heard it from Lando who said he heard it from George who said he heard it from Alex.”
“Of course it was the rookies,” Aaliyah said.
There was more silence before Carlos broke the silence. He knew that he shouldn’t have brought it up but he also knew that he needed to talk to Aaliyah about it.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Liyah,” he said. “I know how that kind of stuff affects you. We were teammates after all.”
“I know, Carlos,” Aaliyah said, smiling softly at him. “I do appreciate it, despite what it sounds like.” There was a pause as Aaliyah thought about her response. “I’m doing as well as I can,” she settled on. “It sucks for sure, but I’m alright. I held it together and got through the rest of the conference, which is what matters.”
“What matters is you and your mental health,” Carlos interjected, upset that she was so nonchalant about it. “You say you’re fine, but you don’t even know how bad it’s affecting you. You accept it as an inevitable event that you’ll be disrespected and that shouldn’t be the case.”
Carlos was getting so heated about this that he switched back to Spanish to get his point across. At his comment, Aaliyah stood up and looked down at Carlos.
“Do you really think I wouldn’t stop it if I could?!” she exclaimed. “I would love it if I didn’t have to deal with this every single day of my fucking life. Unfortunately, I don’t have that kind of power because nobody fucking respects me! Of course I shouldn’t accept it as inevitable, but until others also stand up for me it will be! It will always be something I have to deal with just because of my gender and choice of profession. I know that, I accept that. You need to get over your self righteous self and accept it too if you’re not going to try to help make a change.” Aaliyah was out of breath at the end of the rant but she wasn’t done yet. “I understand that you don’t get it, but if you really want things to change, you have to actually be a part of it instead of just telling me how things should be.”
Carlos was left in a stunned silence. He hadn’t expected Aaliyah to react in that way when he brought it up and he wholly regretted asking her about it in that moment. He was about to say something when Aaliyah cut him off.
“I think you need to leave, Carlos,” she said, not in a cold way, just a frustrated one. “It’s been a long day for both of us. We should get some rest before practice tomorrow.”
Carlos got up and left in a flurry of hushed “I’m sorry”. Aaliyah sighed as the door clicked behind him and plopped back down on the couch. It didn’t help that she had already had to deal with Max about the press conference that day as well as the slight twinge of betrayal from finding out Alex was one of the ones that spread the gossip. It wasn’t like she expected for nobody to learn about it, it was televised after all. She had just hoped that it wouldn’t be the source of paddock gossip, she’d already been the center of that too many times.
Aaliyah got up, realizing she still hadn’t showered, and walked to the bathroom to clean off from the day. The Australian sun and heat didn’t do her many favors, leaving her a sweating mess after the day at the track. She showered off, finally being able to relax from the stressful day she had. Setting an alarm, Aaliyah got into bed, hoping to get some rest before getting into the car the following morning.
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A/N: If you made it all the way down here, thank you for reading! I appreciate you! Let me know what you thought of this chapter and let me know if you would like to be put on the taglist! This is a story I have been thinking about and writing for a hot minute now so it seems kinda weird to be sharing this story with everyone else now XD Anywho, I hope you enjoyed <3 See you all later!
Cazza out (^▽^)
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sprinklenoodles · 4 months
Text
Alrighty, since my fav fic series won’t be updating this week, I’ll just go and talk about it on here.
Why?
Because it’s honestly awesome and it helps with the fact that I have to wait another week for a new chapter.
So, the fic series I’m talking about is the Ultimate Series by @seashellcosmos. The first fic, Ultimates (which is my fav so far) is done and the second one, The Show Starts Now, is being updated every week- most of the time.
And that’s already pretty great. Like, weekly updates?? But then there’s also the fact that every chapter is around 10k words. Yes, 10k. Like that’s just amazing.
So, we have big weekly updates. But that’s not even the best part bc the plot is immaculate. I’m not overexaggerating, it’s just really that good. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but the plot twists and what not are just so good.
Like, let’s take a look at Ultimates first since it’s the first fic and the one that’s completed. It centers around the THH cast with Makoto as the POV (though, in later chapters it sometimes somebody else) And, instead of a killing game they’re just locked in the school... They also all have superpowers.
Though, Makoto... He doesn’t. Until he does. I won’t say anything more about that though.
Then there’s the multiple mysteries going on. Makoto keeps finding letters and videos and it seems like certain people know more than they let on...
Monokuma’s also just amazing in this. He ain’t evil, just a silly little bear robot. But everybody’s characterisation is just awesome. Like, as a very big Byakuya fan, I loved how he was portrayed in it. The same goes for the other characters, but Byakuya deserves a special mention.
If you’ve read some of my other posts, you’ll also know I’m interested in another character... and this fic is a big reason for that. I won’t say who since they don’t show up until later, but despite what they did, I loved how they were portrayed in Ultimates.
Then there’s also the worldbuilding. Which is also just amazing. Like, as the fic goes on we get to know more about the world and it’s just so great. Especially the later chapters are really good at this.
Which leads me to the writing itself. As you’d could’ve guessed, it’s amazing. Like, even though the chapters are 10k, they don’t feel that big in the best way possible. I usually read each chapter twice cuz of theory potential and that’s just very easy to do. The downside is that I do sometimes spend a whole hour just making a theory or rereading, but that’s just me.
I really love writing theories (I’m a big FNAF fan) and this fic series gave me the opportunity to do that. Sometimes I’d write a comment that’s over 1000 words just cuz I was theorising. Obviously, that didn’t mean that those theories came true, but I did get a few things right! Which just leads back to how good the writing is bc you have all these puzzle pieces that just fit together in the end.
Like, in the second fic, The Show Starts Now, we just got an answer to a very big mystery and it just fit so well. Like, most people thought it would be one of two theories, but it ended up kinda being a mix of both... It’s confusing. Which just makes it wonderful.
A bit more about The Show Starts Now since it’s also just awesome.
It takes place around a few months (I think) after the events of Ultimates and it follows the V3 cast, with Shuichi being the main POV. The THH kiddos do show up, especially in later chapters!! They have a pretty significant role, so for people like me who mainly read THH fics it’s still awesome.
Shuichi’s also pretty interesting... I won’t say how though. I try to keep this as spoiler free as possible.
And, to read the Show Starts Now, you don’t really need to have read Ultimates. I recommend you do, but I know some people haven’t. Also, me and a few others did make a small recap of Ultimates in the comments cuz somebody hadn’t read it!
Then there’s the DR2 cast... who make appearances too. A bit more in The Show Starts Now, though they appeared briefly in the end of Ultimates. That’s all I say about them. Like I said before, no spoilers.
That’s all I’ll say about the fics, but there’s a bit more to discuss. Like, we somehow created a small fandom with these fics. On the fic, you’ll mostly see the same people comment and theorize. We’ll sometimes even theorize with each other!
And since Seashell is on here, it has only kinda grown. Like, they have answered so many questions from me and other people. Even my questions and ramblings about a dude who shows up for three scenes get answered and whatnot. Seashell is just that awesome.
And so are their drawings. Like I LOVE their fanart so much. It just looks sooo good and they even made some Byakuya & Chihiro fanart which I cannot thank them enough for.
I really mean it when I say that this fic series has become a part of my life and it really deserves a lot of attention. Not only is the writing perfect, but the author is an absolutely amazing person too.
So, check it out on AO3 if u want or just Seashell’s Tumblr! I can promise you it’s worth it!
That’s all I wanted to say. I just love this fic series sooo much so it was about time I talked about it on here... Especially since this is also like 1000 words already... I just like this series a lot :D
Also, to Seashellcosmos, I really hope you get better soon!! The fanfic curse is absolutely awful it seems like and has struck you again.
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psychologeek · 8 months
Text
So I have a new fic. Shocking, I know.
(Yes, I'm still late with 2 assignments. Any help with writing the letter to the professor is welcome. explaining I can't stay awake more than an hour for the last weeks is hard.)
It's inspired by @byrambles fic "another mirror".
Explanations+thoughts+side notes under "read more"
Summary:
Damian is sitting on the cot in the containment cell when the world ends.
"You will be facing charges in twelve hours," says the older version of his brother. "By the Justice League court.”
...
Of legacy, family, and Learned Helplessness.
(How do you push forward when your reasons are gone?)
It's kinda dark. Which is very understandable, as I wrote it when I was very hurt and suicidal. (I'm better now. But I now it happens).
Thoughts and notes from the writing process below-v
Tevya: wait, I just realized Dami thinks THE OTHERS ARE DEAD.
Me: I don't know if he thinks they are dead, but they are surely lost for him - so might as well be dead. (For extra angst: Something about Object Permanence, and knowing things doesn't disappear just bc u can't see it. Another thing about separation anxiety and how, for Dami, it's a well learned lesson that if he doesn't see someone, if he doesn't keep an eye on them, they are probably dead)
D
About Trauma, PTSD and cPTSD (as I see it). About Dami's inner monologue/broken sentences.
Some things just doesn't have words. PTSD is The unspoken break, the fractured paragraph in one's story. cPTSD is a swollen book, one that fell into the sink and only some of the words can be recognised. You may have a full chapter, or a several words, or some pages are so badly destroyed you fear even looking at them. And even after, even after you dried that book and put it in a safe place - Those pages will always be heavy, and broken, and wounded. This book will always be different than the others.
(But it's still worth it)
About the scene with Dami prepare for his death:
So, I'm not Muslim - I'm Jewish.
But this scene is heavily inspired by the many, many people we lost during the holocaust. Not just for death, but also from the group. They were lost to our people, our nation, for ever, and so are their descendants.
One of the most told stories I remember being told as a kid, is one of a Rabbi who went looking in every orphanage and Monastery, And whnever he was told "we don't have any Jewish kids here" he asked them to bring in all the kids. Then he said "Shma Israel" (a prayer, one of the simplest, many people use to say it also at bed before going to sleep). Every kid who put a hand on their eyes, he was like - yes, they are Jewish.
And it's small. But I also think of all those who WEREN'T found .
Idk.
I have a lot of feelings about culture and groups.
About Tim& Dami's escape+Alfred's death:
In my head, Dami tried to die once when he was about 9-10, and Alfred found him. They made sort of agreement, so Dami promised he'll take care of himself, and Alf promise they'll escape. In my head, a short while after Tim was taken they were meant to escape. Was it only enough for two people? Or did Alfred stayed back to cover them? Idk. But the results is this: Dami and Tim escaped and caught up after about a week. (Did B killed Alfie? Did he make Dami do that as part of his punishment? Did Alfie killed himself, so he won't tell where they are? Trader's choice.)
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boxwinebaddie · 6 months
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RM5 WAS SOOO GOOD!! curb was so funny also help i have a crush on bebe …. and kyle. ravenstan being nervous on the phone omg i love him so much. AND POOR KYLE😕😕 anyways i loved it without the formatting! im so happy youre deciding to take things easier on yourself <3 hyh! and I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS YAAYY
AJKGSASKA!!!! YOU GUUUUYS!!!!!! *bebe vc* i'm crying i'm crying!!!
i can't believe how many of you liked rm5!!!! i was so nervous about even publishing my weird little experiment project fanfiction and i have like????? *me exaggerating* a bajillionmillointhousandhundred asks in my box about how much people liked rm5, rm in general, style's dynamic, my characterizations and AAAAAA??? I LOVE YOU
thank you, darling!!! it was one of my favorite chapters to write ever! it was just so fun everyone was so silly during that last part ( which, actually, i rushed because i was so excited to put that chapter out, so i will be editing that later and making it sound less awful, lmao )
CURB!!!!! i'm so glad everyone likes curb, he is such an angry legend. him and kyle are both angry orange unpleasant legends and i love that so much, like father like son, what can i say??? it makes me laugh sm that kyle is like!!!! i'm so evil!!! rah!!!! i hate everything!!!! everyone could die and i wouldn't care!!! and proceeds to rescue curb off the street every single day and meticulously cleans his water bowl and is like 'were not raising the heating bill just to keep the stupid cat warm' and then pretends he accidentally pressed it w/ his shoulder.
also aaaaa ravesey hate means that ravenstan gets to meet curb, which is so???? BE NICE!!!! its a big deal, okay? i feel like its like when ur dad brings home a date like asdksdls gotta pass the curb test!
but LITERALLY!!!! the b in bebe stands for BAD AS HELL in all my fanfictions, oh my god, she is soooooo fione, step! on! me! also i feel like i haven't gotten around to doing a solid description of what the blondie's five look like in detail ( even kyle because he's narrating most of the time and hates his appearance ) but bebe is plus size in rm and her hair is so pretty and golden and wavy, does very elaborate makeup looks, only wears y2k 'bebe' baby tees and rhinestone mini skirts platforms every day....dominatrix!bebe please just one chance.
( are we excited for that bendy plot arc though, oh my god. i'm so mad. chapter 5 got waaaay too long so i couldn't include it, but that phone call i referenced was an actual scene i was going to write into rm5 where bebe calls wendyl bc her teacher gave her wens number for tutoring and wendyl is SUUUUCH A LOSER oh my god he called her 'miss barbara stevens' like 10000x times way too formal and she was like cANCEL YOUR PLANS OR ELSE TESTICLEBURGER! EVAPORATE, NERD! skdhlksd im in pain. )
i also...have a crush on kyle. like he is so loud and so mean and so fucking crazy but its because the universe made him TOO FINE so they had to make him actually and completely unapproachable or else everyone would be trying to hit his line lmaoooo
that did not stop raven tho!!!!! rip!!!!! he likes emotionally unavailable men who will be mean as fuck to him ig!!!! embarrassing, baby!!!!
speaking of, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOOOOOW!!!! i mean i loved that whole update because it was CHAOS, but literally those like 16k words were all worth it for those 2 precious lines of raven being nervous like...he is my baby...my angel...*holds him in my arms*
raven: literally sings sold out venues in every major city every night of the week sometimes twice in one day, is a world famous celebrity, gets hit on 25/8 by fans, other celebrities, everyone, etc., is routinely and aggressively simped over, gets called hot like every single day
kyle: calls him cute ONE TIME as a JOKE
raven: aHAHAAAAHaaaaa!!! y-you think i'm cu-cute???!!>!>! *screaming crying throwing up*
my hands are over my eyes...oh my god...pathetic. STAND! UP!!!!!
my favorite part of rm is that stans rizz as raven is like 1000000 and stans rizz as...stan is -1000000000000000000. like HEEEEELP
raven: people's choice sexiest man alive, mega famous a list celebrity, punk rock heartthrob, sex symbol, tmz bad boy, lead singer it boy of chart topping super band crimson dawn and ceo of being fioooone
stan: fell asleep last night on the couch crying watching the attack on titan season finale with a corn tortilla chip stuck to his face via mascara tears and missed all 17 alarms for his apology press conference for missing his last press conference bc he fell asleep crying and watching anime AGAIN
its so unserious...all my stans are boyfailures and i mean that wholeheartedly omg.
if you are unconvinced for everyone who doesn't have my cursed twitter, i started blocking out rm6s dialogue because i love to laugh and right before the #raveseyhate ravenstan is on the phone with kenny and its soooo SLKHSKDH he's so STRESSED OUT HELP
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like???? HES LIKE kENNY THIS IS SERIOUS STOP IT!!! SDHLKHDLS
( marta the one eyed crack dealer is my favorite side character in rm )
i love kenny and stans dynamic in rm, they're such an iconic duo.
its literally like
stan getting the smallest modicum of shit from kenny
stan: you know what kenny!!! what if i told you i was gonna end it all??? huh!!!! what then!!!!! that's right!!!! i'm gonna throw myself into traffic!!! watch me!!! are you sure you want that blood on your hands???!!!! huh!!!! yep!!! thats right!!! i'm doing it!!!! i'm undoing my seat belt!!! last chance!!! stop bullying me or i'm gonna kill myself!!!!
kenny, playing app games on his phone unbothered: .....are you sure because you didn't do it last time
KHDSLKDSHLSHLKDSDS BRUTAL!!!! BRUTAL!!!! UNNECESSARY VIOLENCE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD CHILL!!!! IM WHEEZINg
okay but...kyle...yeah....yeah. he is my angel also even tho hes mean. he makes me so fucking sad because he is so lovely and like hes only cruel because the universe was extremely cruel to him also and in turn it made him cruel to himself and UUUUUGH i love him i love him i loooove him...i go into his body issues and mental health more next chapter and sigh...everyone blow jersey a kiss, he needs it so bad.
i'm looking at you ravenstan!!!!! if you don't cut that mans lip open on that canopener u call a lip ring!!! so help me!!!!!! i will do it for you!!!!
you're so so so sooooo sweet though. i'm glad you liked it unformatted, tbh....i enjoyed it a lot? as fun as doing the formatting for pep was originally...looking at those updates...i can't look at them? like theres too much on them i'm actually embarrassed? i'm gonna edit the fuck out of those later and make them way more relaxed.
but yeah, i think i am going to start putting out my updates a little closer to how this one looked with more italics but with only very specific bold or other formatting...idk, i'm in my clean girl era with how my fics look i guess? but only aesthetically...on the inside my fanfictions are crazy like rm is SO CRAZY!!! chapter six...i'm stoked.
i'm trying to be kind to myself and i really appreciate it!!! it's all because you guys were all kind to me!!! i seriously cannot thank you enough for your nice words and warm energy!!!!
update, or rather, upHate coming soon ;)
-uncle nina, ceo of the ravesey hate ship
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viilpstick · 4 months
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Barbs sweetie-
I need Yuuna content >:(
Like is there stuff you changed from the OG game?? What does she become when she grows older?? Does she have parental figures from staff?? Hobbies?? ANYTHING?!
KEHSJAUXJWHXJWJNS OKAY KKAY LET ME ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS TO U😭😭🙏
1- I don’t think she changes anything on the game (that likes tragically affects everything around her + story) mostly just her relationship with Vil. Of course I add into the story but nothing changes the end. at least for now, I still haven’t decided if I want her to vote for Neige or not, probably not and then I will explain why. But anyway-
2- Yuuna becomes an interviewer and journalist! :3 She always had GREAT intrapersonal skills and after finally healing her inner child that she doesn’t need to copy people, she can finally show more of them ^^ (Bonus: One day she was waiting for Vil to show up in basically the red carpet, and when he does he pulls her for a kiss, in open television and everyone saw- Save to say, they had a few edits going around for the next month)
3- Divus Crewel, the fact that Yuuna is magic-less gets Crewel RLLY interested, and the more he notices simple details, like: Yuuna likes to have a vest on because according to her is comforting and also makes her look more professional. Gets his attention, he then becomes more protective over her, he makes Crowley help her around genuinely more. And every time after an overblot he will RUN to where she is checking if everything is okay. With time (around chapter 3 to 4), Yuuna stops mirroring Crewel and starts acting like her own person around him :(( Which he notices and gets comfortable to help her out around (safe to say, Crewel may have brilliants and less troublemakers students, but Yuuna will always be his favorite, she is like a daughter to him)
4- Her hobbies? Writing and reading, she is a girl who loves daydreaming, fantasies and dreams coming true (ignore the fact she loves horror books as well) so she always has a good book with her around. Another bonus, when she is with Vil, awhile he is testing new products, she will be reading the book. Their quiet quality time <33
5- ANYTHING ELSE???? YOU WANT MORE/j A sad fact now, Yuuna’s younger brother died. And btw when he did, her parents during the whole week until the funeral treated her like absolute SHIT. She would have to do everything, they would tear her up apart, make her cry silent as she screams for help. And before you wonder, nope, this never happened before. She was mistreated and miserable bc of them, but NEVER at this point. Anyway, her brother died bc when she was in school, he was playing outside and his parents weren’t paying attention, he got hit by a car. When she comes home after school and hear the news, she is crying, they didn’t seemed to even care about it. She runs to her room, and cries awhile humming the lullaby she used to sing for him, and if you wonder, the lullaby is “You’ll be in my heart”, yep. The Tarzan song. <//3 Live with that now. (bonus, again: this is why she is so fucking attached to Ace and Deuce, they are just like her younger brothers. And when they find out that whole story, they start seeing her as an older sister as well)
(@midnightmah07 wanted u to see this as well)
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yellowocaballero · 10 months
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HEY!! Your trigun swap au is so very good!! I've always loved roleswap aus as a concept, and yours is the perfect example of why. it's all about the balancing act of twisting the (swapped) character's background/mentalities for maximum domino effect while not actually *destroying* the character ya know? you still gotta recognize them, it's half of the fun. just some little nudges here... and there... with the delightful result of a changed plot/world that you can discover anew
Also I surprisingly vibe with Dr Knives. a lot. what can I say I guess it's the fucked up superiority-inferiority/guilt complex with a dash of imposter syndrome. also the transgenderism. he's just like me fr fr (minus the speciesism and bloodlust) 1/3
SPEAKING OF! I'm literally a week late for that but chapter 4 may be my favorite so far. it's got it all: Ww's bloodlust coming through and being given a GUN, M&M being #JustNormalGunsmokeKidsThings about it, Knives being incredibly tired and enthusiastically murderous in turns, TRANS PEOPLE!! Funky morally dubious trans men ! Intersex nonbinary Knives (in humans terms) !! small internal rants about ecosystems!
I particularly like that one bc I too found myself twitching whenever I see (in fics or fandom at large) Gunsmoke being shown as a ~hostile, barren~ planet when, like.... *waves agitedly at the Tomases* *waves frantically at the WORMS, in all their INCREDIBLY DIVERSIFIED sizes and shapes* tell me there isn't an entire ecosystem supporting and including these bad boys. And god do I wanna know about it. Terraforming this terraforming that. Enough. I want bio-worldbuilding fics that are just as weird and unhinged as the rest of trigun (2/3)
To go back to Nicholas : I loved his discussion with Knives about fate and predestination and stuff (esp since -I may be reading too much into it, but it’s interesting that Knives says he doesn’t believe in predestination anymore, and just a bit later goes about how his personality is Like That bc he’s Biologically Programmed for it), and his last words in it are especially ominous. WHAT were you gonna say about Vash. How does it concern Nicholas. This is gonna bite them in the ass later isn’t it.
Also ur last asks/answers REALLY doesn’t reassure me about woowoo’s fate. Is he gonna die. Is he gonna end up going thru the same things than his canon counterpart (concentrate of medical-and-general unethicality). Idk what those flags are for but boy They Are There.
Aallll that to say I absolutely love that fic and can't wait to see what you do next with it, thank you so much !! (3/3)
This is so nice thank you so much :D :D :D To comment in order:
Roleswaps are no fun if you can't recognize the character. You're absolutely right - the funnest part is to make the smallest changes possible, and see how they cause the biggest differences. That's true of every AU, honestly - you guys know those 600k shonen manga aus where something major is different but every story beat is identical to canon? Or they're identical to every other au? They're addictive but without substance. Also sounds boring to write.
It's so funny that you (and others) vibe with Dr. Knives! From my end, he has my own very wry deadpan and self-esteem problems. Characters who have both a ridiculously inflated ego for comedy purposes and some real self-esteem problems for drama purposes work great.
I was surprised that so many people enjoyed the trans thing so much! I didn't expect it to make people so happy. Of course it's a nice surprise. I don't remember why I made the BDN decision (funny, probably) or the 'Knives invented gender reassignment surgery' thing (funny definitely), but a very active decision and something that made Knives above every other character fun to write is that he is not a human being and does not think of himself as such. The way his body experiences emotion is different, his body itself is different in a way that probably includes genitalia, and there's no reason for him to experience gender the same way. As I'm about to talk about in the upcoming chapter, he casually refers to himself as a thing and with it/its and it doesn't affect his superiority complex whatsoever.
I...would not have said that this is trans by myself, if that makes sense, because I wouldn't have wanted to say "in order to really hammer in how this character is INHUMAN then I'm gonna make him not male or female and prefer neopronouns!". It's just the shape of the character, to me. BUT LIKE IF Y'ALL LIKE IT! NO PROBLEM! I was just worried I might be saying the wrong thing, so I didn't want to say it, if that makes sense. Y'all can say it though.
Trigun worldbuilding is nonsensical and hideously vague and as a writer if you stop and think too hard about silly questions like "where does the wood come from" or "why is Vash eating salmon sandwiches" then you go insane. But...yeah, Gunsmoke's like any other ecosystem, and its worms and thomases seem to be doing great! It's not Gunsmoke's fault it is almost completely uninhabitable to humans. It sucks for us, but...does Knives care about that??? Lmfao???
There is a shitton to say about Knives' relationship with predestination and inevitability, because it's why he made the worst decision of his life. I think of it as...reasonable, in a lot of ways. If all you knew about humanity was what you read in history textbooks, and human history ended with the destruction of Earth and themselves, how would you feel? Everything humans have done, they do again. And if they dissected your sister, in an act of cruelty that they had done to even themselves...of course you'd worry. Of course. If you're young and scared and you can hear the screams of the dead in your ears, of course you feel like it's going to be you or them. And if you're.........Millions Knives.......and reverse!Vash.....then eliminating the threat is just good business sense.
And you aren't reading too much into it - Trigun in so many ways is about choices, and the impact of your choices. Your decisions are you own, and you must take responsibility for them. Decisions have weight in Trigun. I think what ppl miss sometimes about Vash is that he also wants to fuckin' murder people sometimes. He wants to be violent, he wants to hurt. He just chooses not to. Sometimes choosing pacifism is a hard fucking choice, and I think wiping that away does a disservice to the character. So if Knives would say, "Well, it's just who I am, I had no choice, I had no control, I just go nuts and murder it's not on me..." - what does that mean, in Trigun? It's??? Like??? A pussy thing to say???
But, the way I thought about it - what Knives is fighting is his internal sense that he is predestined for cruelty. He knows "who he really is" and any attempt at goodness is futile, because he's secretly bad and will always be bad. And he fucks up sometimes and starts exploding worms. But Knives chooses goodness, and I don't think he's really cottoned on that his choice to do good is more important than his internal desires to do bad and his history of badness. Because he hates himself.
I think what Knives knows now as an adult is that our lives have paved a path for us to tread. Sometimes that path is innocent, and sometimes your life paves a very nasty path. But it's our choice if we walk it or not. Knives knows what his path is, and it gives him extreme shame - but he chose which one he walked, and that's what I judge him on. Still funny how much he loves murder though.
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laura491 · 3 months
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Hi! I'm an aspiring author and I was wondering how you got people to give feedback on your book. I've sent it to a few people and most of them wind up setting it to the side & forgetting bc they don't have time, and the few who I got to read it basically just said "it was good" which is nice, but not constructive. Any tips?
Hi, cool that you're writing as well 😊
Well, I've waited 4 months for the first feedback, so there's that... Accept that it can take some time, especially when stuff gets into people's way, like illness or mental health issues or simply stress.
That being said, I told everyone beforehand that I'd really like some feedback that goes beyond "I liked this" or "I liked that". Make that clear to them and double check if they really are up for giving that kind of feedback, maybe discuss a deadline with them. It might also help to ask them to focus on one or two aspects in particular, like language, characters, plot structure etc. Ideally, you know your readers good enough to know what they are interested in in a book, and make use of that 🙂
I also think it helps to ask an amount of people if they want to read your story. I've had 8 people in total, and so far, only 2 have read the full thing. With those who haven't done it yet, I ask every couple of weeks how it's coming along. One person with ADHD has actually asked me to remind them every week. If you are transparent like that with your readers, that might be a way to work with them as well 🙂
Ultimately, if their feedback is still too vague or too general, have a conversation with them. "What things did you enjoy the most? Favourite character or chapter? Were you struggling to keep reading at some point and why was that?" Some people might get a bit annoyed by that, but you worked a lot on that story. Make that clear to them and that honest feedback means a lot to you, and I'm sure they'll understand 🙂
I hope I could offer you some useful advice with this 🙂
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onlyjaeyun · 4 months
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u are not dumb😾😾😾 anyone couldve made the mistake i just saw it and couldnt not tell u )): also ive been busy this week so i just binge read cold hearts and just wow.
first of all i LOVE how brutal they are to each other idk i get if ppl think its too much bht personally i love it smsmsm???? i always think authors are never harsh enough in e2l stories and sure thats fine everyone can write whatever they want but i feel we have forgotten that e2l is supposed to be people who Loathe each other they are not gonna be nice or respectful with their insults ESPECIALLY if they were close before and had a v bad fallout(which btw i cant wait to find out what it was!!!!)
now for jaem…..look if he wasnt a manipulative ass i wouldve felt bad for him idk like those reasons are valid but NAWT in his case mf u dont want her to speak to her literal kids and when she wouldnt you CHEATED???? and the way he always says that yn never wants to communicate and is always looking to start a fight the gaslighting goes CRAZYYYYYY i want to punch him(thats a lie i ult him)(hard times for nanadoongies who saw his recent bbl pic)
anyway i’m excited to see how it all develops i unfortunately am a sucker for pain and slowburn. hope i get well soon. i love love love the story so much!! very expected of u to write smth great yet it still hits me like a truck every time
AAH NO BABY THANK YOU SM I APPRE YOU TELLING ME 🥺🥺🤍
this ask literally made me chuckle so much youre SO cute 😭😭
i absolutely agree on the e2l part because i remember coming up with the clnceot and at first i wanted to take it easy but then thought nah all in or nothing bc this is ENEMIES to lovers, they will hate each other's guts to the point where not a single family issues isn't thrown around 😭 so glad youre enjoying it baby!
and pls i got SO angry at Ch!jaems (im the one writing him) for constantly gaslightling her to make her look like the angry manhater who just bears with him like STFU 😭 would have slapped him in the face if i could (he's lit one of my top 5 nct biases)
im super grateful for your love and support baby, pls accept my kisses! cant wait for your reactions on the upcoming chapters 🥺🤍
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tortoisebore · 1 year
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For your "Unusual Fic-Specific Asks for Authors" prompt: for want of a nail, what would the fic look like now if Remus had chosen to wait outside Sirius's practice rink and /not/ gone in to watch him skate?
Would it have affected anything? When I read that scene I first thought Sirius would spot him while skating & stumble/trip/fall/get injured, or else get mad at him for encroaching on his private space, but thankfully it went differently. Just curious what you'd think! xx
unusual and specific asks game!!!
oooooooo this is fun to think about
i’m partial to that scene bc it’s the one that made me want to write this fic in the first place. likeafunerall’s art is the thing that sparked the idea, and then my brain came up with that scene at the rink, and it was all a spiral from there. i had that particular scene banging around in my head for about a month before i started writing the first chapter and it didn’t change much at all between when i first thought of it and when it actually happened in the fourth chapter. it was vivid in my head from day one, i knew it would be from remus’ pov, i knew what he thought and what he wanted to say, and i had it written down to the absolute smallest detail by the time chapter one was posted
that being said, i don’t think it would have changed a ton! really that scene was just an opportunity for remus to see sirius in both his strongest and most vulnerable states. he’s an incredible performer but he’s a perfectionist, and anyone besides his coach seeing an in-progress version of his work is…..,difficult. he feels like his performance has to be perfect to be worth of being seen, especially by the people he loves. remus not only being absolutely gobsmacked at how good that in-progress version of sirius is, but also realizing that some part of his heart is falling for sirius while watching him be imperfect is very much a nod at the struggles they’re going to work through internally throughout the rest of the fic.
sirius puts on a front with people he loves and only wants them to see the parts of himself he’s proud of (that he’s perfected), not the messy, tangled stuff he keeps beneath the surface. his arc in this fic is really just him trying so hard to learn that people can love him while he’s still in progress, and they’ll love his broken, imperfect pieces just as much as they’ll love the pieces that are in tact and complete
sirius could have been upset that remus saw the performance before it was ready, but the honest, real praise and admiration remus showed him after seeing it kind of threw him for a loop and kept him from getting immediately angry. he couldn’t find it in himself to be anything but flustered when the person he’d been obsessing over for weeks was staring at him in awe and telling him ‘you were perfect.’
on that note, this scene was also just an opportunity to throw sirius off balance, because in his and remus’ relationship thus far he’s been pretty steady in his confidence. that can be hard for someone like remus, who likes him so much that he overthinks every word that comes out of his mouth when they’re together. giving remus the chance to see that he has some level of an affect on sirius (and can push him off kilter just by showing up unannounced and complimenting him) was a big deal. that’s the first time he looks at sirius and really thinks “hang on, maybe this could be reciprocated.” that vulnerability from sirius was important both at that point and in chapters 5-7.
(spoiler) i think that those little pieces of vulnerability that sirius has been able to show leading up to (and during) their falling out is what allows remus to trust that sirius is telling the truth when he tells him how he feels in chapter 7
ALLLLLLL that being said, not much would have changed if remus had waited outside and not seen sirius at practice. it just pushed us faster into the direction we needed to go, but all of those internal revelations would have happened eventually 🫶
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tojikai · 2 years
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Alright, but if Y/N is indeed pregnant, could you let her keep the baby? I saw the “mentions of abortion” tw but like please, I want her to keep it. I don’t even care if she doesn’t get back with Satoru in the end. I don’t know but I’m always so soft for babies.
So, I see that some people have this very visceral reaction to Y/N in this chapter, and guess what? I want to defend her like those K-Pop stans. I don’t care about changing their feelings about her but I just want to let them KNOW.
Y/N has made a mistake, a single one, and it makes her no different from Rie, the other woman, but seriously, Y/N is still far more dignified than Rie can ever be. Both committed a mistake. And then what? Rie decided to continue to live in La La Land and created more fuckery while Y/N did everything she could to not do anything wrong again. Y/N immediately told the truth to Suguru and Shoko while Rie and Satoru knew the truth but kept it a secret to save face or whatever tf. After the cheating, Y/N was firm with Satoru about not getting back together with him while Rie went ahead and accepted Satoru’s advances despite feeling guilty.
I saw someone say Y/N is bad at decision-making. LIKE WHERE??? Unlike Rie, Y/N made all the right decisions for someone in her position. They are a foil to each other and the entire series shows how different they are as a person by showing what they decided to do after making a mistake. Like are you being serious with me now? But I don’t know, maybe you read this series with your eyes close or smth, and you simply refuse to see that. Rie and Y/N are the “same” in this situation but overall, as a person, they are not.
LOL, alright, sorry for going off like that, I’m Y/N's biggest fan as you can tell. She’s not me, she’s my precious baby 🥺.
All in all, thank you, Kai, for this chapter! Oh man, this series is going to end soon. What a ride it is! I can’t wait to see how this will end. I actually can’t believe that you just started writing when you created this blog. You’re so good??? Coincidentally, I was an English Major too LOL and I wish I was as talented as you. Once again, really enjoy this update. Looking forward to the next and have a nice weekend, okay? <3 (2/2)
you know what, YOU'RE HEAVEN SENT. im so glad u pointed that out bc there's an ask in my inbox that seems to be downplaying rie's actions yet enraged by what happened between yn and satoru. i cannot bring myself to post it bc it stressed me a bit LMAO, it's like they just skimmed through every chapter and paragraphs. like they didn't pay attention to the contexts and hints that i put it in there. i mean we all know what yn did was wrong, i am not justifying it and that is why yn's facing the consequences now. yn acknowledges it and is doing everything not to do it again, unlike rie who stood tall and straight despite knowing that her new rs is a product of betrayal. i just … dont get what they're fighting for. really.😭 LMAO and im glad u mentioned this bc i was having a really hard time thinking where i lacked explaining in the story. i understand that there are still things which are unclear right now. but that's why we still got 2 more chapters left😭
anywayssss, omg as usual, that was an amazing read !! 2 more weeks and this series is over 😭 this is the longest one i've written yet. and yeah i started writing on april 19, wrote home and posted it on the same night😂thank you so so much and omg you're an english major too !! im sure you can write fics as well, u just have to start !! your reviews and analyses are GOLD, never fails to amaze me how you always get all the points that im trying to get across in the story. im grateful for all of them and for your support, you're amazing, thank you sooooo much !! <33 i hope you're doing great~
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thegodwhocums · 1 year
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polythiest asks: 19, 11
Oh my gosh! I meant to reblog @flamingkorybante 's responses but you're right, I posted an ask meme! Ok let's do this.
19. How have your Gods affected your life?
Hoooooo… more than I can say. When I was about 13 and just getting into Wicca, which was all I could find (it was like 2001), I tried plugging into the Celtic pantheon and Brigid in particular and it just never clicked. I made some futile efforts towards Artemis when I was older, and Athena, and Apollo, all Strong or Logical or Independent or Rational gods that look like white people in the picture books, and nothing clicked. Dead air, no signal. Closed that chapter, moved on.
In 2007, I became a professional drag king and started describing myself as transgender and genderqueer. In 2011, I started thinking about Dionysos. I found that strange, internally, bc what does the party god have to do with my uptight, basically straightedge ass? Drunken debauchery? No thank you. Then I read Hermaphrodeities by Raven Kaldera (I'll let someone else explain who that is). That book described a Dionysos I could relate to - queer, mixed divinity, mixed race, an outsider, mad; someone with the freedom that I in my Spartan anhedonia craved. In February 2012, my partner channeled the god and he spoke to me. I still have the exchange.
Since then I would say that Dionysos has been instrumental in me taking steps to become more comfortable in my skin, my brain, and my heart. I have made friends, built relationships, and been places that never would have occurred if not for the shared enthusiasm for D. (Some good, some bad, of course, but all definitely influential.) He was with me as I prepared for surgery, and his mentor Cybele was there to receive our blood offerings when Rocket and I had healed. He was with me onstage, in the doctor's office, in forests and mountains and fields, as I mythologized my suffering and found a way through. He was with me when my mental health bottomed out and he was with me on the hotline when I begged for help not dying. He was with me as I went onto head meds, and then he was quiet, and when I went back off head meds he was there waiting for me. I think my heart has opened, I have become kinder, and my spirit has become freer with the help of Dionysos. I am still learning to love and enjoy my body, and he is still there helping me to do so.
There are other deities but he has always been at the center of my practice, and in many ways of my world.
I have an ancestral practice as well, so if we want to include those spirits as "deities," they have helped me buy a house for my chosen family (and the house next door as we grew!), find financial stability, keep my family safe, and quiet those who would do us harm. Seriously, if I were to embed one piece of advice in this response, it would be that your ancestors want you to thrive, let them help you.
11. Do you pray? If so, what do your prayers look like?
For a while I had a daily devotional practice, but at this point in my life prayers are more for special occasions. I don't usually need to ask the gods for anything - and usually I know what they want me to work on or bring them, so the only purpose in communicating is to say thank you. When I do that, the format is usually:
light a candle particular to that deity
burn some incense
purify myself some way (it varies)
invoke them by name and with a series of epithets
read or sing a prayer or hymn (orphic, etc), or a poem
say what I need to say
sit quietly for a while
say "thank you"
bow
put out the candle
The one regular practice I do have is that every week I change out the water in all the offering glasses on both altars (personal deity altar and house ancestor altar), and when I do that I do invoke each entity or family line and say thank you. I usually dust and reset or redecorate the altars monthly.
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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years
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“Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones I did not.” -Donna Tartt
HELL YEAH WE ARE BACK AT IT!!!!
Rafael spent a whole minute without thinking about how much he loves Anjali!! That a new record lmao
He had never knocked on the door. These doors have always been open for him. From the very first day. Now I am having gotsm feeling ahh😭
The domesticity of all this scene got me🥺 I LOVE THE LIGHTWOOD-BANES OK?!?!
Love me some Rafael and Anjali changing the world and making guides and sharing their world to mundanes!!! Power couple 😎
New game: Everytime Rafael thinks of how much he loves Anjali, or casually thinks "My Anjali" let's take a shot!! We'll be dead in 10 minutes but whatever 😂
RAFAEL ABOUT TO PROPOSE TO ANJALI!!! I ALREADY KNEW THIS BUT I'M SO EXCITED!!!! everyone's reaction was just🥺🥺🥺
God, the ring is gorgeous 😍 But also not the proposal being eight pages long omfg jshsjdbdk. Why am I not surprised??
Magnus didn’t know how a person could forget a memory like that. Even an immortal. Malec winning as always 💙💙
Max's clothes are disappearing bc of Mallory right?? Right??? 🔪🔪
People got jobs. People got busy. People had too many priorities. You can’t just be a boy in love forever. Adult life is so stupid 😭
Ragnor speaking facts as always >>>
It’s hard to decide what to do with your life when you have ‘forever’ to live. I'm sensing some inmortality crisis coming....
I am worried about the magic problem, shit is gonna blow up soon... Is this something related to the Devlins????
I relate to Lexi bc I am also a queer disaster and shit at communicating :)
“I can’t believe Rafael almost had a funeral,” Lexi chuckled. “I miss the crazy times.” “Don’t manifest that!” Gigi all but yelled. I think it's kinda late for that....
Me @ Camilla and Max: NO BABES!!! RUN AS FAST AND AS FAR AS YOU CAN!!!
Me @ the demons giving David a hard time: you better watch out🗡️ low-key kinda scared tho...
His parents told him that he was perhaps being paranoid. I'm sorry but I'm just crying at the fact that he thinks "his parents"
Those goosebumps definitely mean something and I am pissed idk what😭 is it Mal??? A prince of hell??? WHAT???
Max's presentation>>>>>>>
HE WANTS TO BE THE ONE WHO PROPOSES!!! OMFG I AM CRYING HOLY SHIT I LITERALLY JUMPED!!
“Please?” David whispered. “I promise I’ll make it good for you.”
///
“Babe. I’ll marry the shit out of you.”
I am going to focus on this and forget all the angst that is coming:))
Wait, didn't Max come up with a nickname in edomai or something?? Anya? Anyang? Something like that??
Fuck Mallory tbh🔪 Chopin doesn't like you and neither do I!!!
Some memes for this chapter:
Me:
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Alec and Rafel:
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AH THE MEMES. I LOVE THEM.
Abigail supremacy only.
and yassss the quotes are back 😎
also omg im glad you noticed because i was writing and rafe was like 'my anjali/his anjali' every 2.4 seconds and i was like 'dude chill'.
Max's name for David is Ayaan. It means god's gift. It's still there. We'll come to it later x
And yes Mallory is the one stealing his clothes 😐
See you next week, babygirl.
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