#bc no one seems to have any idea of what it WOULD be referencing

[time-is-restored]

do you guys every think abt death vs immortality as a thoroughline in like. literally all of the mechs albums.

old king cole is explicitly warped by immortality (never to forgive he would eternal live, his hands dyed red by gore - can be read a few ways depending on where u place the emphasis, but at the very least communicates that his wrath is facilitated By his immortality), and the olympians commit attrocities in order to hold onto their wealth and the immortality that it grants them (murdering arachne, yanking heracles' chain the second he tries to go freelance, having a monopoly on the acheron etc). the value they put on immortality and living forever, and the fear they have of ever possibly losing it, has completely warped their morals and priorities.

and while it comes up less in tbi, there's still significant emphasis placed on how odin has been in power for a century (both thor + the narrator bring it up, and there's also an emphasis on how long ago the bifrost project was started, and how 'no one left living' can explain its science). her villain monologue in rangarok iv places the extinction of asgard as an honour - a ruin that no one can possibly rebuild from is called 'apotheosis'. and as she says at the end, the idea that no one can possibly outlive her is a key draw for odin. asgard dies with her.

in hnoc, the only really immortal character is brian (and we only really know that bc of knowledge we get from outside the album), but the axis of life and death as a privilege vs a curse is still very present. 'mordred's gift to Arthur could be love in his own eyes / fating him alone to keep the life to which he clings', not only posits that the gift of survival isn't inherently good + kind (which the audience would immediately recognise as love, not possibly love), but places emphasis on the fact that arthur is now utterly alone. the station's death at the hands of mordred is hardly a happy one ('Its people damned, doomed by a man who's lost all his regrets'), but arthur's fate is arguably worse. severed from the finality and closure of death, what does he become? [insert that one cool theory abt hnoc arthur becoming old king cole here]

it's like. on a meta level, the reason we as fans don't put much emphasis on the depravity + cruelty of the mechs is bc the people portraying the mechs are all charismatic + skilled performers. in live gigs they're all portraying the fun side of their characters - roasting each other, bantering with the audience, making fun of the characters they're singing about, referencing off-screen violence - bc if they portrayed their lore too literally they'd be comitting felonies LMAOOO

but narratively, its like. literally every album is a meditation on the ways that the glorification of immortality can ruin civilisations - can ruin galaxies. whether its rooted in the fear of you specifically dying, or of being outlived, or overpowered or forgotten, or if its done for the sake of someone else's survival... it's all corrosive. if u refuse to accept the indisputable impermanence of life, you lose the ability to value it, and u numb urself to the reality of just how fucked up it is to cut another person's life short for any reason.

like. i do think some of the mechs started as good people, and some of them even might still have ethical standards, but i REALLY cannot stop thinking about how fucking. fascinating it is that this group of immortals who are KNOWN for basically considering nothing but how fun and/or violent any given activity will be, have basically filled their entire discography with songs about how their continued existence is corrosive and brings tragedy + ruin wherever they go.

so how self-aware are they? do you think those old morals + ethics still linger in their mind, when they're writing down these tragedies? they willingly self identify as liars + thieves + bastards, etc etc, and they seem to have no trouble identifying the 'bad guys' in the various albums (ie: humanising snow + cinders + rose, but not king cole), but do those concepts actually mean anything emotionally, or even theoretically, for them all beyond their dramatic potential? do they remember their lives before they were mechanised as it actually happened, or do they remember it as lyrics to a song? is it possible to be entirely self aware abt ur own capacity for violence (as jonny in paticular claims to be), if you no longer relate to violence as anything other than a narrative device - a means to an end, whether comedic or dramatic?

#the mechanisms #mechanisms #mechs #its not even that i have a specific passion for super grimdark mechs characterisation #just from a thematic perspective it is SO interesting to have these characters #narrating tragedies who themselves dance in and out of narrative conventions + signifiers of good + evil #and also like. literally transform themSELVES into narratives via backstory fiction + songs #its all so like. was there ever a truth here? if its all been forgotten + replaced with stories? can any of them care about good and evil #anymore on a level beyond how it will make an audience react? #idk. i care them #mine #my writing

[wee-snek]

Ineffable (pre-2000's) Timeline

Before the Beginning 

We don’t know how long before The Beginning this was, or how long they may have known each other in ‘heaven’ before Eden. We don’t know if one (or both) of them had their memory of the other erased (I think there's quite a lot of speculation about this, so I can't link just one example).  

Angel!Crowley is the most adorable thing in all creation, but he asks some very innocent and appropriate questions and Aziraphale is scared for him (and maybe scared of him?) 

Crowley shelters Aziraphale with their wing. Adorable. Love it. 

4004 BC: Eden 

Aziraphale gives away his flaming sword in his first official act of doing-good-against-God’s-wishes and Crowley immediately fucking eats it up.

"You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing" is well-intentioned but probably sets up a less-than-helpful anchoring point for Aziraphale's morality (see various points below about Aziraphale's moral evolution trajectory and rationalising Heaven's actions).

Aziraphale shelters Crowley from the rain (and the best part is that Crowley moves in, closer to Aziraphale, BEFORE Aziraphale puts his wing up. Fucking lovebirds. Ridiculous) 

3004 BC: The Flood 

Crowley seeks out Aziraphale at the flood. Essentially just shows up to flirt.

Aziraphale clearly doesn’t like the flood-and-death plan but he also isn’t ready to speak negatively about God. He defends the flood as “not that bad” and goes all “no comment” about killing kids (because he can’t actually defend that bit). Not a huge fan of heaven already by this point, but either too brainwashed or too scared (or both) to actively say anything non-conforming out loud.

Crowley is appalled by the idea of killing children, has always been a rebellious little cinnamon roll.

“You still have one [unicorn]” implies that Crowley either doesn’t know the point of the Ark (unlikely, he didn’t show up here by chance) or he doesn’t know about the birds and the bees. (Is it at all possible that Bildad The Professional Cobbler/Midwife still didn’t know what sex and childbirth were? No solid evidence that he had any plan other than pulling the ribs out. He’s so stupid)

(Theory: Others have considered that this meeting was more involved than what we’ve been shown so far because 1- by the Job incident Aziraphale is real damn convinced that Crowley won’t hurt the kids and 2- “sudden rainstorm forces them together under a canopy” doesn’t actually fit with either of the times our lovebirds sheltered the other under their respective wings, because neither time was sheltering “together”. So maybe this sudden rainstorm is what Crowley is actually referencing and there’s more here we haven’t seen). (Theory 2.0 is this wildly long meta that basically is a dissertation on why the kissed during the Flood and I’m here for it).

2500 BC: The Job Incident 

Ugh, I love this episode. Nothing but endless love for our baby Bildad.  

Appears to be a chance meeting between them.

They BOTH DEFY ORDERS to save the children.  

When the bird-goats make a noise, Crowley turns around before Aziraphale says anything. He was HOPING that Aziraphale would catch on, he was baiting his Angel to see that he was going to save the kids. Which, I mean, we all already know Crowley is a softie and he’s not really tried that hard to hide it from Aziraphale in the history we’ve seen so far, so…tone down the evil demon cosplay, babe. We’re past that.

Crowley saving the kids isn’t surprising. But we actually have a big jump for Aziraphale here. When we originally only had the Flood and the Crucifixion in S1, the evolution of Aziraphale’s “defence” of Heaven seems subtle and slow between those two short scenes. But throwing this epic story in the middle? Genuinely a MASSIVE shift from rationalising Heaven’s plans for the flood to assuming he knows what God is thinking + actively collaborating with a demon and trusting a demon more than his fellow angels + willing to be literally damned to save three random kids. (Could easily argue that this seeming anachronism in Aziraphale’s arc [along with Bildad’s stupid hair] makes it all the more plausible that there is a magic trick happening here).

Aziraphale says that Crowley is “technically” a demon. (I see what you’re getting at there. I see you, Aziraphale) 

Aziraphale tries human food for the first time. Odd sexual tension. I won’t elaborate.

When Aziraphale is sitting by the ocean, he’s waiting to be punished and thinks that’s why Crowley came over. But Crowley doesn’t know this. He was just coming over to spend more time with Aziraphale for totally platonic reasons.

Crowley has the chance to take Aziraphale to hell as a demon, and declines (hmmm, foreshadowing us all getting our hearts ripped out a few short episodes later???) 

Crowley’s appearance: people have speculated on why they look so different here compared to the Flood and the Crucifixion. My theory is that the other to flashbacks (seen in S1) are Crowley going about her life and just popping in to flirt with Aziraphale, whereas with Job, Crowley is showing up to work. The Bildad getup is a work outfit, demon cosplay. Long hair and no sunglasses is Crowley being himself, and silly hair silly glasses is creating a character to play while hiding his eyes because humans are around AND he’s vulnerable when hell is watching.

Bonus happy thought: when they get the kids in the cellar they start bickering like an old married couple/BLATANTLY flirting and the kids are just...so confused. Fucking delightful.  

33 AD: Crucifixion 

Crowley seeks out Aziraphale.  

Crowley has changed their name.  

By this time, when Crowley says “Heaven’s being a bit shitty” Aziraphale doesn’t actually defend Heaven? “I’m not consulted on policy decisions” is much closer to “I know they’re awful but I can’t change anything” as opposed to trying to rationalise that heaven must, by default, be good. (See note above about Aziraphale’s non-linear moral evolution).

Not much else here except Crowley looking their absolute most gorgeous in all of history.  

41 AD: Rome 

Crowley having a bad day. A lot of people have written about how after the Crucifixion and everything else that has happened so far, baby bean is fucking disillusioned as all hell.  

Crowley makes obvious ploy to get Aziraphale to ask him on a date, and it works. Delightful.  

Bonus happy thought: the little pins each of them is wearing on their togas? The fucking angel wings and the snake? Nothing but love for the Good Omens costume department.

537 AD: Wessex knights

No idea if they’ve met between Rome and now, but I’m pretty sure they have? Aziraphale recognizes Crowley’s voice immediately, I feel like they’ve talked sometime (oodles of times?) in the previous 500 years.  

Proposed Arrangement. Aziraphale very dramatically declines for corporate reasons. Not so much “working together is wrong” but that “working together is against the rules”.  

Could possibly argue that this feels like a step backwards for Aziraphale since the Job incident. But I think, no? With Job, the stakes were high and they were literally saving innocent lives. Here, The Arrangement is presented more like cheating on homework. Like, this is just a report for work, I’m not going to risk being reprimanded for something trivial like faking a sick day. Because Aziraphale still wants Heaven’s (God’s) approval quite badly: he’ll risk his life to save human lives, but not to save himself a trek to a castle.

1601: Globe Theatre 

By the now The Arrangement is well established. Aziraphale puts up a very lazy fight against it, but caves almost immediately.  

We can see already that Aziraphale is concerned that Crowley could get in trouble over their relationship, but I don’t think he has really realized how much danger Crowley is in? Like, if he genuinely thought destruction was on the line, he might have protested more. But it’s still important here that Aziraphale is concerned with Crowley’s safety above his own.  

I believe Aziraphale asked Crowley to meet up at the theatre from what Crowley says about “you said we would blend in with the crowds”.  

Bonus happy thought: I’ve seen people speculate about whether the coin toss was rigged. I choose to believe they BOTH rigged it so that Aziraphale would go to Scotland bc Crowley didn’t want to go, and Aziraphale knows that Crowley can’t ride a horse so was totally keen to save him from that ordeal.  

1650: not shown

Something happens and Aziraphale does the “I was wrong” dance 

I wrote elsewhere that this could be a promise of something we will be shown in Season 3 -OR- it could be a Clue that memories are missing (see The Magic Trick You Didn’t See)

Also, despite all the wonderful suggestions people have from actual history about what these two might have gotten mixed up in in 1650, my personal prediction is that if we see this in Season 3, the actual Thing that led to the dance will be extremely trivial, like Aziraphale knocks over Crowley's drink or something.

1793: The Bastille 

Aziraphale gets himself in a damsel-in-distress situation and Crowley “has to” save him. Obvious ploy to go on a date. Flawless.

Crowley is clearly following Aziraphale around, since he showed up at exactly the right time. Zero coincidence detected.

Aziraphale has absolutely no issue with the executioner being beheaded in his place. Bit ruthless to sacrifice a random stranger for the cause of taking your crush out to lunch.

At some point, Aziraphale does the “I was wrong” dance here. Hopefully over crepes.  

1827: Scotland 

Crowley essentially just takes Aziraphale on a date to a graveyard. Such a mood.  

Some obvious moral struggles for Aziraphale starting to realize that good and bad are not black and white and that extenuating circumstances exist.  

Whether or not you believe that this memory was tampered with, when Morag is dying, Aziraphale essentially asks for Crowley’s moral guidance. He could have just healed Morag, but he defers to Crowley for ?permission...I don’t know for sure, but it feels significant that he wants Crowley’s approval here before doing ‘good’. That has to mean something.  

“Last I saw of him for some time” is, at most, 35 years between here and St James Park, which means they are meeting up a lot more frequently now. We’re not regularly going decades/centuries between dates anymore. 

Edit: As others have noted, the wording in this diary entry is actually odd because when Aziraphale is writing this, he MUST have already seen Crowley again for that last bit to make sense. Which means we actually probably have quite a lot of “us time” between the Elsbeth flashback and St James park.

1862: St James Park 

Likely Definitely not the first time they have met up since the Scotland flashback (see edit above).

I THINK this is the first time we see Aziraphale’s personal tartan show up? He’s now officially created his own clan on Earth and is NOT wearing the official tartan of heaven. He later gives this tartan to Crowley which is Significant. 

Since our last meeting, Crowley has been dragged back to Hell and, presumably, punished, for what he did with Elsbeth/Morag. (The time spent in Hell was likely not necessarily a LONG time but still seems like it was a sobering event for Crowley where he seems to catch up with Aziraphale about how much danger they might be in).

Crowley asks for the holy water because he now realizes that he may need to protect himself (and Aziraphale?) from Hell if and when they figure out the scope of his ‘breach of the infernal code’ and retaliate.

1941: London Blitz 

Accepted by fans as likely the first time they have met up since the breakup in St James Park. As with the Bastille scene, it’s very clear that Crowley has been keeping track of Aziraphale (if not actively just following him around).

Obviously, canonically, the moment when Aziraphale realizes he is in love with Crowley.

Immediately after this realization, Aziraphale also realises how much Crowley is at risk from Hell by continuing to associate with him. This does not stop them from having a romantic glass of wine back at the bookshop.

Photograph of Crowley and Aziraphale exists, no clues as to what happens to it/who keeps it after the events of this night. I hope it’s in the photo album that I assume Aziraphale keeps with his diaries and little drawings of Crowley he’s made over the millennia.

At some point, presumably on this same night, Aziraphale does the “I was wrong” dance, but we don’t get to see that. Yet.

(Side note: I feel like by this point in their relationship, it’s really got to sting when Aziraphale assumes Crowley is the cause of whatever horrific thing humans are doing. I mean, what in the past 6,000 years would point to Crowley wanting to actually help nazis? It’s not funny anymore, Aziraphale, stop re-traumatising your boyfriend with baseless accusations.)

1967: Soho Heist 

Crowley plans the heist in the pub that is literally across the road from Aziraphale’s book shop 

Aziraphale finally gives Crowley holy water – whether this is because he’s actually worried about the danger of the heist, or if he has just come to his senses about the fact that Crowley is in mortal danger from Hell and may actually need a way to escape them if things go pear-shaped, or whether he’s just acts-of-love reaching out....could speculate for days on that.

He gives Crowley the holy water in a thermos with his personal tartan on it. 100% on their own side. Adorable.

Aziraphale isn’t wearing his bow tie in this scene. He still has his tartan, but he’s wearing it as a cravat instead, with his shirt unbuttoned at the top. I genuinely don’t know what this is supposed to mean, but the costume department is too good for it to be random. (It supposed to be flirty? Like, ooh, top button undone, basically naked? And that just necessitated losing the bow tie? Is there sartorial symbolism here about a cravat vs bow tie that I’m missing? Tell me what’s going on!?!)

“You go too fast for me” (ugh, gutted every time) 

Additional event: year unknown

In their earlier flashbacks, we see them travelling the world for their jobs.

At some point they both end up permanently stationed in London.

My assumption is - that originally it was just the two of them on earth, possibly for thousands of years. Then their territory was limited to the British Isles, and eventually, when there were too many “oodles” of humans, they both ended up just looking after London.

So, who was assigned to London first? Because it’s not a blind coincidence they’re both specifically in London - one got assigned to the London first and the other one deliberately FOLLOWED.

I am still updating this as I re-watch and read other folks’ posts.

These are mostly my observations with a few additional things thrown in that I’ve seen people discuss already here on Tumblr. I will try to link to them best I can, but my Good Omens saved posts are massive and I’m not sure I can find all the original posts who's theories I’ve mentioned here

#ineffible husbands #crowley #good omens #ineffible #good omens 2 #good omens theories #good omens theory #aziraphale #Ineffable Husbands #Ineffable #Good Omens 1 and 2 #aziracrow #david tennant #michael sheen #aziraphale x crowley

[romanarose]

He Didn't Have to Be

Will Miller x Single Mom!reader

Summary: You and Will hit it off immediately, but being a single mom but a past, you didn't think that he'd be interested in you. You were wrong, and Will asks you on the sweetest date you could imagine.

A/N: Will Miller brain rot is so real rn. Titled after the Brad Paisley song, bc it's what inspired this fic.

Warnings: Referenced past abuse, referenced past child abuse

*******************

Many guys ran for the hills at the idea of a woman with a kid. Some only wanted you for sex, insisting you get a babysitter or god forbid leave your son at home, insisting “it’s only for an hour” even though he was four. Some gave it a shot, only to get angry when they realized Jonah came first. It’s not that you didn’t try to make time for dates, but you had a young child, and you wanted to make the best of his childhood. They didn’t get why you were busy working on letters and numbers with him, asking “isn’t that what his preschool is for?” or why you spent time trying to plan and cook nutritious food on a budget, or why you wouldn't just drop him off with your sister to fuck or why they couldn't come over when he was napping.

So, you simply gave up dating, figuring the right guy would come along at some point, when the time better.

And the right guy did.

You were lucky enough to land a job as a receptionist at a physical therapy office, your friend’s husband, Frankie being kind enough to send the job your way when his friend said they were hiring. You were waitressing at this point and although you were getting by, it was just barely, living in a studio apartment with you and Jonah (another reason dating didn’t work) was hard. This job would offer not only financial security, but a better schedule, with Jonah at the free preschool during most of the day so this meant paying for only two or three hours at daycare after. The handsome physical therapist was a perk too.

Will Miller was one of four physical therapists in the office, but by far your favorite. He always said hello and goodbye to you every single morning and evening, and even when you first started he was making easy chit chat. The small talk turned into full conversations, Will often being found leaning over your counter, strong arms blunging out of the sleeves of his black t-shirt as you tried not to stare. It wasn’t that hard; his blue eyes were compelling enough to keep your interest. You familiarized yourself with the features of his face while he talked, and one of the other workers comments how they'd never seen Will so talkative. When you asked what they meant, they said that Will was always polite, nice but never very open. She didn’t even know he had a brother until she heard him mention Ben to you, and she’d known Will a year. It made you happy to know he felt comfortable with you like that. It took you an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out that he was the friend Frankie knew, the one that had mentioned the job opening, but once you did, you grew closer sharing stories of Frankie and Jessica drunk.

He also let you talk about your son, which was exciting. People don’t really care a lot about a kid that isn’t their family besides a few pictures, but you mentioned a cute video, and Will actually asked to see it, endearing you to him more and more. Still, you didn’t get your hopes up. Your last relationship, Jonah’s father, messed you up pretty bad, and you were certain someone like Will wouldn’t want someone like you. Will was successful, put together, tall, handsome and charming with a very well paying job. Why would he want to take a single mom living in a shitty studio apartment with a ton of baggage? He could get any woman he wanted, not some woman he probably thought just wanted him for his money.

When he approached you that Friday as you were packing up for the weekend, he seemed oddly stiff, not leaning casually over your counter like the Jim to your Pam. Instead he stood awkwardly, hands clasped behind his back as if he was reverting back to his military days and you were his drill sargent.

 He greeted you by name, and promptly began stuttering, the composed, cool headed man you knew seemed long gone. “I was, um, well I was wondering if maybe you were doing anything this weekend? If you-you wanted to do something with me, maybe? I understand if you’re busy, it’s completely okay theres no pressure or anything, it won't have any effect on your working relationship but if you wanted too-”

“Will?”

“Hm?” His pail English skin turned pink.

“Are you asking me on a date?” 

The blush grew, but he nodded. “Yeah, if you’d like that, of course. No pressure at all, we can continue being friends either way.” The way he repeated ‘no pressure’ made your heart warm.

You smiled at him, equally nervous. The idea of going on a date for the first time in a year was nerve wracking, there was a solid chance of getting your heart broken… but he was so fucking handsome, how could you say no? “Yeah, yeah that would be great.” You laugh nervously. “I’m open all weekend, I just gotta see when I can get a babysitter.”

“Actually, I was thinking, and we don’t have to, it’s completely up to you-”

He’s so cute when he’s nervous, isn’t he? “Yes, Will?” You encourage him on.

“I thought maybe Jonah could come with us? I know maybe you don’t want to bring a strange man you don’t know around your son, but if you wanted to, I’d like to take Jonah to Chuck E. Cheese?”

You were stunned. No man has ever cared to meet Jonah, let alone spend time with him like that. 

“You want to go to Chuck E. Cheese for a first date?” You ask softly.

He seemed to get the wrong idea, and began to backtrack. “Right, not very romantic is it, sorry, I’d love to take you somewhere nice, I just thought it would be easier and I’d want to get to know Jonah because he’s a part of you-”

“I’d love that” You smile up at him. “Are you sure? It’s kinda an expensive first date?” You didn’t want him to invest a bunch of money on a date when you already knew you wouldn’t be sleeping together that day.

Will seemed to relax, smiling at the idea of the date. He shook his head. “I want to.  Besides, it’ll be fun. I haven't played ski ball in years, when else do I get a chance to be a kid?”

You could not wait to see what the 6’2 giant of a man looked like pretending to be a kid.

Will offered to pick you up but said if you prefer to meet there, that was okay too. Normally, you’d meet there, you didn’t like random men knowing your address, but Will… Will was different. The way Will was cognizant of your comfort made you just trust him. You still would be careful, of course, after what happened with Jonah’s dad you were protective of your precious preschooler. Jonah was ecstatic when you picked him up and told him you’d be going to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. You explained he’d be meeting a friend of moms, keeping it vague, but it seemed very much uninterested in that aspect as the idea of the arcade filled his adorable little head. You kept it simple, a nice romper that would be acceptable to play in but looked cute on you, at least you thought so. You didn’t give your apartment number, for safety reasons but also you were a bit embarrassed at your small studio. You hoped soon to get a one bedroom with this nice new job, but wanted to have a good savings in case of emergencies. Jonah was small enough now that it was okay, it was working, but you wanted him to have some space of his own in a few years. Still, you did the best you could.

Will was waiting outside the apartment complex door, his eyes lighting up when he saw you.

“Hi. You look great.” He said with a genuine smile that you returned. Will wore a blue shirt and black pants, fitting the casual but pleasant outfit you had gone for, the blue bringing out his eyes. You were disappointed he didn't greet you with a kiss on the cheek or a hug, but he seemed nervous, so you didn’t think much of it at first. Will bent down, crouching to get to Jonah’s level. “Hey little guy, you must be Jonah.”

“Yeah, I’m this many” He held up four fingers. 

You held up all five “Honey, you’re this many”

“Oh” he giggled. “Yeah” He was embarrassed to have gotten his age wrong. “Sowwy”

You turn to Will, about to explain that Jonah just had a birthday, but Will was way ahead of you. 

“That’s okay, you had a birthday week, right? Mine was last month too and I still forget.”

Not only was he good with Jonah, but he even remembered his birthday. You began to let yourself get more and more attached to William Miller.

It was fun to see Will let loose. Not that he was tightly wound at work by any means, but he was professional. This was a side of him you could easily fall in love with.

You had tried to pay for the tokens for the arcade games, insisting that Will could pay for the food like he would for a normal date, and you’d cover the part for your son, but he wouldn’t let you. It wasn’t in a ‘I have more money than you’ way, but in a way that was just the kindness of his big, soft heart. And he got along great with Jonah, that was clear, and something very important to you. He asked you before picking Jonah up and putting him on a ride when Jonah begged him for help, gave him high fives and encouraged him when he didn’t get something on a game. He was everything you could ask for. He must've been a good big brother, you just knew it.

You and him were already past the small talk point, so there was no ‘tell me about yourself’, but conversation flowed easily, with you laughing and giggling along to his stories of his brother, remarking that Jonah reminded him a lot of when Ben was little. Still, he didn’t kiss you, was hesitant to touch you, and you began to worry that maybe he didn’t enjoy your company outside of work as much as maybe he thought he would. Still, it was a fun evening and you loved spending time with Will.

When the pizza came, Will noticed they forgot to bring the breadsticks. “I’ll go grab them, be right back.”

“Thank you” You smiled at him, and pulled out the wipes for Jonah’s hands and cleaned him off front he germs before turning to the table to plate up pizza for everyone. 

When you turn back, Jonah was gone. You tried not to panic. “Jonah?” You couldn’t see him anywhere. “Jonah!” Now you’re shouting, and in a flash Will is by your side, settling the garlic bread down. 

You don’t even have to explain what happened when he has a plan. “I’ll check the front, he can’t leave without one of us so he’s in here. I’ll talk to the employees, you just start searching, he’ll come to your voice easier than mine.”

You’re tearing up, looking around for your baby, trying too hard not to go into a pancik. “I swear, I turned around for just a second, and, and, and he-he”

Will grabbed you shoulders, forcing you to look up at him. He was calm, assured, clear headed in an emergency and that transferred to you. “I know, it’s gonna be okay, just go look for him and I’ll start getting a parameter.” Military man indeed. 

You nod, trusting Will to make things right, help you find him. You, Will and Jonah had numbers stamped onto your hand from the employee at the front, so you knew he couldn’t leave without you or Will, but you didn’t want him alone with all these strange people. You begin looking calling out to him and you could see Will talking to and directing the employees and a few concerned parents who volunteered to help, instructing them to clear different areas and guard them, slowly narrowing down a ‘parameter’ just as he said while you looked for him.

You were trying to keep calm, but 1000 worst case scenarios ran through your head. You needed to be strong for him.

You hear your name called from the indoor play structure and you look up to see Will and Jonah in a clear plastic bubble waving to you. Jonah was safe, Will found him, even going up in a play structure you knew he could barely fit in to do it. You began to cry, so fucking relieved to see your baby, and informed the worker that everything was okay. Will slid down the large slide (how he didn’t get struck, you didn’t know. The man was broad as hell.) and when he and your son popped out the other end, Jonah was apparently none the wiser of how much stress he put you through. You tearfully talk to him about not wondering off, then take him back to get food. The rest of the evening went wonderfully, and you didn’t take your eyes off Jonah the rest of the night. 

You watch Jonah dance and sing with the Chucky mascot when it came out, the ugly thing handing out tickets to the kids. You turn to Will. "Ever played 5 Nights at Freddy's?"

The giant of a man burst into boisterous laughing, the sound ringing out and filling your heart with so much joy. "I didn't wanna be the one to say it!" He heaves over from laughing so hard. "freaking fuck'n rat, used to scare the shit outta my brother as a child, I tried to fight it once because it made Ben cry"

You couldn't imagine the polite, composed man fighting a giant rat, but given how he talked about his brother, you knew he was defensive. "Oh? And what happened?"

"Turns out Chuck will put you on your ass when you kick him in the crotch."

When Will pulled into the parking lot, Jonah was fast sleep in his booster seat and you unbuckle him, turning to Will. It was the end of the date, and you knew what he might be expecting. “Listen, I had a wonderful time, and I’d like to go out again, but I can’t… I can’t exactly invite you to stay over.”

Will was quick to assure you he had no expectations, but you continue to clarify; you didn't want him to think you didn't want him. “It’s embarrassing, but we live in a studio apartment right now.”

“A studio isn’t embarrassing, trust me, I’ve slept in some interesting places and I don’t expect anything on the first date. And I especially wouldn’t expect a mom to invite me to stay the night where her kid lives this early on.”

You, however, weren’t ready for the evening to end. It was still early. “Listen, Jonah is out cold” After running around all day and eating a ton of pizza, he was in a food coma. “I have a balcony. I would love it if you came up and had a drink.”

Will lit up, teeth showing just a bit as he smiled. “I’d love to, if you’re comfortable.”

Will helped hold Jonah while you attempted to brush his little teeth and politely excused himself to the balcony while you changed him into his pj’s. Will didn’t seem put off at all by the Baby Yoda toddler bed between your twin mattress and the small kitchen table.

When you came outside, Will was sitting on one of the cheap lawn chairs. You brought out a throw blanket and two mugs of hot chocolate with just a splash of Bailey’s Irish Cream and pulled the second lawn chair up next to him. Gathered under one blanket, you were thrilled to spend some alone time. You adored your son, and you adored how Will wanted to all be together, but it was nice to be with Will away from work, just you and him. 

“Can I hold your hand?” Will asks sweetly, his soft, bearded face welcoming you in. 

Like a silly teenager, you blush at the innocence. “Yeah” He takes your hand and you feel so connected, so safe, so secure in his firm but comforting grip. “I was wondering when you’d make a move.” You gently tease, and you see Will blush as he smiles and glances away. “For the record, I wanted to make a move earlier, but I didn’t know what was appropriate with Jonah around. Didn’t wanna confuse him or noth’n.”

The way he always thought about you and Jonah first… it never failed to make your heart sore.

You rest your head on Will’s shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around you, making you feel more warm than the blanket ever could.

“Thank you for today, William.” You whisper.

“I had a great time, honey. I hope I can take you out again sometime.”

“I’d love that.” You look up at him, the moonlight illuminating his skin oh-so beautifully. “And thank you for going into action so fast when Jonah was missing.”

“Of course. Jonah is important to you, so he’s important to me. Plus, any kid that goes missing needs immediate action.”

That’s what you loved about Will. He didn’t just do it because it was Jonah, you know damn well he’d do the same for a stranger’s kid if needed. 

“How come you wanted to go out with Jonah too? I’ve never had a guy do that after a few dates, nonetheless the first one.”

He held you closer. “Well, I don’t wanna be presumptuous, but I don’t date casually, and it seems you don’t either… if we are gonna be together long term or even…” he trailed off, but you knew what he was about to say. “Well, I’d wanna be a family. Not that I’m tryna replace his dad!” Will quickly adds.

“Jonah’s dad isn't allowed near him.” You say. When Will doesn’t respond, merely nods, you knew he was keeping the conversation to talk more if you wanted to, so you continued. “He was an asshole. Roughed me up a bit.” A bit was putting nicely, but it was a bit early for pouring your heart out.

You could feel his grip tighten ever so slightly on your shoulder as he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay” You said softly. It’d been a few years since you’d left. “I put up with a lot, but when he hit Jonah, that was it. I left right after that, spent a few months in a shelter, now we're here.”

“Bastard.” He mumbled under his breath, and you knew his anger for you and your boy was genuine. 

“I have a restraining order against him, so he’s not in the picture. I wish Jonah had his dad, but I won’t let him get hurt again.”

“I know, you’re a good mom.” Will assures you, “He’s a happy kid.”

You can’t help but smile at that. “I wish I could give him more… but I’m trying.”

“Hey now” his voice was soft and comforting, his hand gently, so gently guiding you to look at him. “He’s happy, he’s got food, a bed, lots of toys and I saw the worksheets you got laid out, I know you’re working hard on his learn’n. He’s a good kid, says please and thank you, you've given him a good life, princess.” 

“Thank you, Will. I appreciate that. Are you doing anything Sunday morning? I’d love to cook you lunch.” 

When Will left that evening, he waited at your doorway, holding both hands, looking nervous again. “I’d like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

They he always asked you, leaving so much room to say no. When he asked you on the date in the first place he was adamant about making sure you felt no obligation even though he was technically your superior, to something as innocent and pure as hold your hand… you knew he was different from Jonah’s dad, he was so, so much better. Was it possible to fall in love this fast?

Still holding his hand, as he nervously looked down at you awaiting an answer, you went up on you tippy toes, planting a loving, chaste kiss on his pink lips. He kissed you back, lips moving against yours before he pulled away. “I’ll see you both Sunday?” 

Both.

“Yeah, Sunday” You hugged him goodbye, resting your head on Will’s firm, strong chest. You didn’t want him to leave, but you knew now was not the time for him to stay over. You’d move slowly, you and Will, going at a pace comfortable for both of you until you were ready. Something felt right, so damn right about him.

Yeah, you’d take things slowly, but something in your gut told you… Will would be a part of your little family.

********************

This got me pretty good ngl ;-; my baby fever is so high these days lolololol

If you'd like to see a part two, lmk! I'm happy to write more drabbles with this. Not like, a series bc I don't have a full story plan but a few one shots.

I love Will so much and it makes me sad he doesn't get much attention in this fandom :(

(Dolli that princess was especially for you. I feel like Will is a 'princess' kinda man, but wouldn't use it right away. but when he felt comfortable enough....)

also funfact i usd to work at chuck e. cheese and yes i was the giant rat. Yes I have gotten tackled to the floor and yes i did want to punt some kids but didnt. flipped off some teenagers though.

tagging a few people who might be interested/expressed interest in the discord server.

@missdictatorme @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @jake-g-lockley @littlenosoul @welcometostayingawake @miraclesabound

#will miller reader #will miller #william miller #triple frontier #fluff #triple frontier fluff #will miller fluff #fem!reader #single mom reader #romana writes #fem reader #implied/referenced child abuse #implied/referenced abuse

[heretherebedork]

The strongberry CEO’s letter was really interesting to read. The stuff about the harassment is gross and unacceptable and if they believe it’s only one person I hope they can take some sort of legal action against that person (though it may be more difficult if they’re outside Korea). But separate from that, I thought his commentary on fanservice and popularity was very interesting. It reads as though he believes at this point in the industry fanservice is basically a requirement now. I feel like if a queer production house feels that way, then other production companies must feel the same way.

It is interesting to me bc before Strongberry started making their more sweet love stories, Matchbox (who seems to be their partner) made a series of short films that were typically much more gritty and dealt with queer themes you don’t see depicted often in BL in Korea (host bars/sex work, dating apps/hookup culture, beauty standards, etc), and I sincerely doubt when those films were made that they felt as though the actors needed to do fanservice. Though I guess I can only assume as I have no idea what the promotion (if any) was like.

Further, I liked him talking about how yes of course some straight actors take BL roles for popularity but then when they and the show gain that popularity that then opens doors for more opportunities and funding for queer projects, which can then helps make gay love more normalized. I appreciated this a lot because I see a lot of people downplaying popular media as a form of activism, but it absolutely can be. Will and Grace is often credited for helping to increase gay acceptance in the US in the 90s/00s, for instance!

He even mentions how the popularity has likely driven the government to provide funds for productions (I assume he is referencing the Love in the Big City adaptations and I’m very interested to see how that show and movie are marketed).

I also appreciate how he talked about how it would be basically impossible to make BL in Korea if companies tried to insist on only hiring gay actors. I think it would be good for some people to remember that.

I don’t really have a specific point or question I don’t think, I just had a lot of thoughts about that letter and what was said apart from the harassment. Though I do sincerely hope the actor and his girlfriend are doing alright and I hope they can curb the harassment soon, it’s so shameful to know that is happening to them.

I mean, admittedly, this is why I mostly stay out of that except to express my inherent discomfort with the way people view actors and fanservice.

Yes, he said fantastic things and explained many things but he should never had had to do that.

I should never have seen a two page post trying to 'explain' why Ohm and Nanon aren't doing another BL together that absolutely assumed they're really dating and went from there.

I shouldn't be worried about naming other couples because even here people will come and no really me about them dating because of the way they do fanservice.

I actually worry more about gay actors in a way because putting their sexuality on display like this can be actually dangerous for them (see the attack on Holland' so...

What I'm saying is that I am glad he said that and I am glad people agree but I also wish he didn't have to and that there are sides to this fandom the scare me.

#asked and answered

[beardisable]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD okay.

so i watched the 8 hour jack stream(jesus) aka watched genloss top to bottom again and listened to his theories and stuff(i really vibe with the "kidnapped as kids" angle more now) and started thinking about some theories he and chat mentioned and.

now im thinking with like. ok its probably a pretty common theory, this post was what prompted this additional idea of mine actually, but ill explain it a bit: the theory that, since sneeg and charlie can come back over and over again, and they have referenced like, refusing to do the cooking challenge in ep 1, and how charlie was playing the mouse trap but ate the cage, they have obviously done the same kind of scenes we saw ranboo do, right. and then in the Announcement video we see the same kind of "missing poster" type headshots of them, with the caption "Found them!"

i dont remember exactly where it was confirmed that showfall made the missing person posters, but like. yeah. these images are for missing posters like ranboo had. and with sneeg being caught by the security in ep 3, he had tried to escape, just like ranboo and charlie. and i feel like this wasnt the first or last time they have tried this!

also, during that screenshot the announcer says "our hero will meet a cast of crazy characters, who you may recognize", aka the audience has seen these "actors" before in other things! this is their first live show but what have they made before...?

then, with one of the Very first lines Ranboo says in the first episode, "it wasn't supposed to be like this"... showfall/hetch made it seem like this is ranboos first show and he's being tested for how well he does as The Hero.

I dont think what we saw is Ranboos first time starring in a showfall production.

its the first live thing like the announcement video said but i think hetch lied when he talked about how its a test, i think Ranboo's been here at least a few go arounds, if not tens/hundreds/thousands of times. WHICH MEANS in the end when he gets his memories back... theres an infinite amount of possibility of things they could remember for what they have been made to do in the past :) Bc remember, while this is comedy->horror, it was still relatively tame and non-explicit (at least by my personal standards?) so it is quite possible they have been in more R rated horror stuff, slashers, gore, actual saw, some kind of even worse psychological horror things, but also that they might have had incredibly good experiences like love and joy and community and anything positive too, and to remember all that in a rush... oh boy so i believe it is a circular reproduction, maybe they run through scenes repeatedly over and over while perfecting every little detail and getting different takes of genuine emotion but every time Real and a First experience... some kind of purgatory(omg christian hell reference) or endless torture or such...

ok that got really maybe unneccessarily angsty so heres my other thought:

i love me a fucking colour theory and colour symbolism! it bothered me a bit how like. in the promo game we get ranboo, then green friend/the villain(obviously charlie, tho the villain part still confuses me a Bit since its not quite true?), the blue friend/the taken(obvs sneeg) and then the red stranger/the saviour. and like it would logically follow that the red is hetch right?

jack when theorising said the titles are self descriptive, which i buy into, at least for the first episode context, charlie is the villain role, sneeg was taken(put in a cage and later snatched by the sharkciclester), and hetch was trying to help and save ranboo from this situation! but then in the second ep we also have red puzzler, and red niki? i WISH niki had. any kind of bigger role to build a Saviour type off of her but i dont think she does :( the puzzler is an option, since they make it seem like the puzzler tries to save ranboo? and thats actually a whole other thought like. since we know hetch was not actually helping ranboo, was the puzzler Genuinely helping them, and somehow showfall found out and killed him?? idk ANYWAYS that colour coding falling apart a bit made me think about how ranboo is also red!! rgb trio yknow??

if the titles are self descriptive... well i dont think Ranboo really felt like The Hero much, especcially not in the end...

I think Ranboo is actually meant to be the Saviour.

Esp with the jesus coding! I believe this kind of thing has happened many times before, with sneeg/charlie/ranboo/others realizing that shits fucked, and trying to escape, only to be caught and put back in the production. I think Ranboo(main character syndrome) was in a previous iteration the Saviour, who tried to help sneeg and charlie and others get out of there, to save them, save everyone. but they failed. got captured. once again waking up again with a "it wasn't supposed to be like this..."

and so the cycle continues, and the content wheel keeps spinning.

(ive only been in tumblr tags so feel free to link me any other ppl who arrived at the same conclusion)

#if you actually read to the end of this somehow ily take a cookie #this is giving me prologue/au ideas so i wanted to type it out to anyone who wants inspiration or smth #generation loss #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #generation loss the social experiments #genloss meta #genloss theory #genloss au #bear.txt #i am bearpat #this post took so long bc i keep having more ideas but adding them all would make this even more incomprehensible i gotta stick to a thesis

[madara-fate]

my pet peeve with sasusaku is that sakura’s feelings were off screened in part 2 and there was NO substantial reason for her to feel that way and retain such feelings for so long, even tho the story’s backbone is the concept of bonds stemming from people who understand each other due to sharing heavy hardships. i mean, it would’ve been great if she got to reflect etc but ultimately it might come off as dumb bc what would she be thinking anyway? “oh it started as a schoolgirl crush but idk why it changed but nvm now idc like that bc he’s a terrorist i love naruto” kishi said himself he avoided writing in a reason for her feelings bc it would look contrived and he also said she’d be a terrible woman for moving on from sasuke and misogyny aside, it’s bc he wrote himself into a corner with her initial characterization & arc that he stuck with for too long.

my pet peeve with sasusaku is that sakura’s feelings were off screened in part 2 and there was NO substantial reason for her to feel that way and retain such feelings for so long

Firstly, I fail to see how her feelings were off screened when they were only reiterated at regular intervals. Secondly, they spent a lot of time together, she got to know who Sasuke truly was as a person, saw how much he was struggling internally, and wanted to help ease his suffering. Feelings can often very easily arise from wanting to help one in need. Thirdly, why would she need a reason to retain her feelings? It's not like Sasuke's suffering ceased during Part 2; he was still in desperate need of help and I'm gonna come back to this point later on when you mention "misogyny", because I'm so tired of people throwing around that term where it doesn't belong.

even tho the story’s backbone is the concept of bonds stemming from people who understand each other due to sharing heavy hardships.

That's not the story's backbone. Do you really mean to tell me that you can't name any close bonds in the story that didn't initially derive from the two people in question sharing some empathy?

i mean, it would’ve been great if she got to reflect etc but ultimately it might come off as dumb bc what would she be thinking anyway? “oh it started as a schoolgirl crush but idk why it changed but nvm now idc like that bc he’s a terrorist i love naruto”

I've explained why her feelings changed above - Her schoolgirl crush was based on this idea of a perfect Sasuke that every other girl in the academy seemed to have. The cool and composed Sasuke who gets straight A's in both the physical and written exams. All of that changed once she began spending time with him and discovering that beneath that seemingly perfect exterior was a very troubled boy.

kishi said himself he avoided writing in a reason for her feelings bc it would look contrived and he also said she’d be a terrible woman for moving on from sasuke and misogyny aside, it’s bc he wrote himself into a corner with her initial characterization & arc that he stuck with for too long

There's no misogyny here. Nothing Kishi said demonstrated any ingrained hatred or contempt for women. So for god's sake people need to stop throwing around that term whenever they come across a female character who they feel should have been treated better in one way or another. That "terrible woman" quote (which people constantly choose to just focus on that and ignore the entire context of the conversation), is Kishi saying that if Sakura suddenly switched her feelings to Naruto, right after he had become the village hero, and dropped Sasuke like a bag of sick despite him still desperately needing help, that would have made her look terrible, because it would've made her seem like she only cares about one's status, reputation and how "cool" they're deemed by society, but that was not the case. They even made a point to highlight this during her fake confession - Sakura referenced a quote describing women as fickle, but Naruto told her to stop lying to herself, because he knew that Sakura's feelings for Sasuke were anything but fickle:

This was no longer the Sakura who had a crush on Sasuke because she and every other girl in the academy thought he was "cool". No, Sasuke at this point was a wanted international criminal who was anything but socially "cool", and yet Sakura still loved him anyway. Why? Because she didn't care about how cool he was - She knew that Sasuke had a heart of gold, she knew that he was dealing with a lot of mental and internal strife, and she knew that he could still be saved. That's why she retained her feelings for Sasuke despite his transgressions, and it had nothing to do with apparent misogyny.

#Sasuke Uchiha #Sakura Haruno #sasusaku

[fluffypotatey]

Hi! Me again. Do you have any headcanons about the JTTW gang? I'd LOVE to hear all of them: the fluff, the funny, and the angsty. How did you think Tripitaka found SWK when he's inside the mountain itself instead of under it, and why? Why did Ao Lie reveal himself in his human for to the two at the bridge? In the book the trio met Zhu Bajie when the father of the the pig's wife requested their help to bring his daughter back, it even referenced this in the game, but in the flashback they met at Zhu Bajie's food stall where it seems like Trip was complaining about the food to the chef. How do you think the showdown between Sha Wujing and the quartet went down in this verse? Who do you think Wujing challenged first?

hey! sorry i'm replying to these a day late T^T

so imma assume you meant the jttw gang in the context of lmk bc any headcanons of them within the book is a tough one for me bc i'm still reading through it and trying to differentiate between what's a translation issue and what's "canon" is a time :)

anyway,

i think i mentioned this before, but i love the idea of Sun Wukong finding comfort in Tripitaka and Ao Lie out of the rest of the companions post-journey. like if he were ever in a slump or feeling overwhelmed he would go to them (or they would reach out to him if they notice swk being less chipper and talkative). i think even before Wukong's isolation, he would not go out and visit people as often, mostly keep to his friends and allies (how many few they were now).

also, Ao Lie would take Wukong on so many trips into the city just as an excuse to hang out and give swk a chance to be outside. i have an inkling that Ao Lie is the type to get lost or accidentally find himself in a precarious situation that swk would have to help him from (taking a wrong turn and finding himself face-to-face with a gang or something for example, and, being the conservative warrior he is, Ao Lie would not fight them or anything). one of Ao Lie's favorite places would be the city's theater districts because it was the most colorful, and Wukong would allow the dragon to drag him along anyway, past memories be damned.

with Tripitaka, i think Wukong enjoys making playful jabs at the monk for funsies. when they were originally acquainted, these jabs were more hurtful and condescending and aggravated the monk to no end. now tho, the jabs are in good fun, and Tripitaka's sighs are more jovial than exasperated. (though he does have times when the exasperation does come bc Wukong is nothing if not a monkey hell-bent on mischief, and Tripitaka always seems to be the guy he calls to help bail him out. out of love of course.) and given that i am a "Tripitaka and Sun Wukong's relationship wasn't abusive" truther, i like to believe that both monkey and monk view their relationship as something that resembles familial and brotherly.

Wukong and Zhu Baije i headcanon as rivals to friends who are still rivals but now care for each other deeply. they will shit-talk each other, they will get into spats, they will threaten to murder the other ("roast pork-let on a stick" and "make their own monkey pelt skirt"), they will give Tripitaka and Sandy/Sha Wujing the worst of headaches but it's with love <3

Wukong and Sha Wujing are comedian buddies. i am so sure about this, the pregnancy chapter confirmed it to me. Wukong told me himsel-

but enough about my opinions about their alleged relationships in th lmk context....for le questions!!!

well, from what i remember, Ao Lie first introduced himself as, and to quote Red from OSP, "an enormous fuck-you dragon" before changing shape into his human form. so, probably during his little skirmish with Wukong (+ Tripitaka hiding behind a rock), he realized that the two were supposed to be his companions on the journey, and switched up real fast to show them that he's actually friendly!

i do think it's interesting how Zhu Baije's story is different 👀 i'm guessing they changed it to show some similarity to Pigsy and his ancestor? so the reference we saw in the game could have just been an in-book easter egg??? i honestly don't know why they changed that, but it is funny to think that Zhu Baije was a cook who met the gang when he captured Tripitaka so that his business could boom with serving specialized, holy monk meat 😂 i can, like, imagine Wukong busting down the doors of Zhu baije's "restaurant" demanding that he give the demon his monk back lmao (but that also adds another bit of confusion bc Zhu Baije was chosen by Guanyin, Goddess of Mercy, to be one of the pilgrims for the journey, so he should have recognized that the monk he wanted to eat was the monk he was supposed to protect? unless in lmk, Guanyin didn't go out and choose companions for Tripitaka?????)

now for the showdown with Sha Wujing, i bet 100 bucks that the order of fights went like this:

Sha Wujing asks/demands which if the four would fight him to be called the "strongest demon of all,"

Wukong opts for going bc he's the fucking Monkey King™️,

Zhu Baije says fuck that bc he is NOT gonna let the monkey show off again,

Zhu Baije loses, Wukong offers to help (not really, he did that to piss the pig off) & Baije tells him to fuck off,

Baije loses 3-5 times later, tripitaka pleads for the pig demon to stop and just "let the monkey do it, dear Buddha,"

Wukong rolls up his sleeves,

Sha Wujing laughs and calls Wukong puny,

Sha Wujing is pomelled to the ground without breaking a sweat,

Baije complains that he helped weaken the river demon for Wukong

exactly like that, yeah

#hope i answered them well! #it got a little long lol #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #jttw #jttw crew #sun wukong #lmk tripitaka #lmk ao lie #lmk zhu bajie #lmk sha wujing #asks

[dankovskaya]

Yeah the idea of Leon being "in love" with like. His idea of who Ada is based on a couple very specific encounters wherein basically all of Ada's interactions with him are highly controlled and strategic and often catered to whatever she believes will most effectively get what she wants out of him is weird and definitely makes him seem like a moron at best and some kind of creep at worst. But he does definitely have residual attachment towards her largely as a consequence of that one night in Raccoon City and I think the most flattering way to interpret it would be that he is fully conscious and aware of the fact that absolutely nothing that Ada has ever shown him of herself is the real Ada but he can't kick the part of him that really really wants to see even a glimpse of what is under that mask.

Vaguely romantically intentioned or otherwise I think Leon just desperately wants to feel like the mutual surface level familiarity or recognition they develop over a series of semi-coincidental high-stress encounters is even remotely balanced bc even with his sarcastic and dry defensive exterior she can still practically read his mind at a glance while he never gets to see so much as a crack in her persona and doesn't even know her real name 😭

And like I don't think he actually EXPECTS to get what he wants especially by the end of re4 reunion but I think there is this like. One sided tension and maybe even grief on his part over the fact that he's probably never going to get to know who she ACTUALLY is even though she was so integral to the most formative event of his entire life mixed with the weird residual emotions he feels for spending half a decade thinking he practically killed her and all of this is in conflict with his also very real resentfulness of the way she has treated him and lied to him and distrust of her profoundly unclear motivations etc. When people say Leon is "obsessed" with Ada I don't think that's really accurate but I DO think he can't let himself think about her too often or he'll drive himself crazy wondering who the hell she is.

And of course another major reason he wants so badly to know something genuine about her is because he is so desperate for her to give him a solid reason to trust her. Which Ada naturally does not give a shit about because whether or not he trusts her fundamentally and no matter how much he might bark about it he's still gonna act like her dog when she's around cause he's still repaying his "debt" 😭 (And it's also interesting I guess to see how that changes over time i.e. by the time of like, re6, which is essentially "Ada gets framed" the game, Leon really doesn't really have any reservations about defending her and he's pretty firm in his resolution to do so. Which again you can interpret as him being a moron with a residual crush on her exterior, or you can interpret as him no longer really giving a shit about Quote Unquote Moral Concerns and playing by personal compulsive raccoon city loyalty rules 😭)

Also, in a similar vein to that, with his own presumably quite lonely and isolated and inherently dehumanizing life as a secret agent guy, he probably views Ada as the only person "in his life" who might be able to relate to him without being (in a sympathetic interpretation of Leon's perspective of his job) tainted by the same institution that has quite literally stolen his life from him. So again, it all ties back to him knowing that he doesn't know her, but wishing that he did. (I think I recall @theonlyadawong making a post interpreting that "night" they left off on referenced in damnation [which is clearly intended to be sexual😭] actually just being one long conversation wherein Leon gets to ask some of the many, many questions he's always had about her and Ada decides how much if it all she's willing to answer them and maybe asks a few in turn, and I'm just obsessed with the idea of that. Instantly incorporated into the worldview.)

All of this is to say I enjoy Aeon from a 99% one sided vaguely-slightly but not inherently romantic longing perspective but if they ever did become something explicitly romantic it would only possibly make sense to me if it was when Ada's whole...everything straight up stops working on Leon. It would have to be at a point where Leon has finally truly put her (and therefore Raccoon City by association) behind him, when he really stops reacting exactly as she expects him to, when he's actually capable of surprising her, and when he can meet her unexpected appearances with genuine indifference (all of which personally I don't think even could happen until he truly gets to make decisions about his own life again😭.) He's still Leon, he'd still help her if she was in trouble, but he's not gonna linger on it. I think only then could Leon possibly genuinely pique her interest as someone on equal standing and therefore open the door to her being even slightly inclined to share a hint of vulnerability with him and maybe actually eventually consider him a friend etc. I think knowing that he truly isn't looking at "Ada" when he looks at her would be absolutely necessary from her perspective. And this is why they kind of rule in re4make because it's absolutely the closest Leon has ever been to rejecting the dynamic that their (very meager and limited and mostly Leon-imagined) relationship was built on.

#TL;DR Aeon can't actually be real until Leon gets the fuck over her but I don't even necessarily want that because #the appeal to me is that Leon Can't completely get over the weird emotions he has surrounding her and suffers for it meanwhile Leon isn't #even a blip on her radar unless he happens to pop up on the chessboard immediately in front of her. Maybe once in a blue moon she sees or #hears something that reminds her of Leon Behavior and finds it amusing but she's definitely not losing #sleep over him the way that he absolutely has over her. #re #leon s kennedy #ada wong #aeon #<= yeah you could say idgaf 😏

[hadeantaiga]

Tbh as an afab nonbinary butch whose partner is a trans woman, the language some of the people in that post about misogyny in previous decades/modern India are using makes me uncomfortable bc it reads to me like they're implying that transfems had/have it better. The discussion of how "traditional" misogyny affected (and continues to affect) the transmasc community is an important one, but the OP implying that transfems were "allowed" to exist when transmascs weren't ("the reason our history is not seen as extensive or influential as transfem history is because [transmascs] quite literally were not allowed to exist") comes across as transmisogynistic to me. Trans women have never been "allowed" to exist any more than trans men have, and the fact that those words are also in the context of talking about a form of misogyny that's unique to AFAB people makes it seem like the OP is saying that the reason trans women were "allowed" to exist was male privilege

One commenter brought up historical trans men that HAVE existed to refute the implied idea that they didn't bc they weren't allowed to and made a valid point about how the reason it seems that way is bc of erasure, but then people responded as if the post was about erasure all along, even though that commenter was the first one to mention erasure and before that the post had only discussed barriers to trans men existing? Additionally, the reply saying that "[he] *(let's not misgender people)* couldn't actually name the trans men [he] referenced" (aside from Brandon Teena I guess) and that it's a problem that we can't find information about trans men in India with just a quick google search (which Antoniə proved we actually can) seems to further imply that trans women have it better in this respect, even though frankly Brandon Teena—a trans man—is the only historical trans person I can name off the top of my head as well, not any trans women. One response also brushed aside the commenter asking people not to say "women/AFAB persons" by saying that it meant he was implying that all nonbinary people were AFAB (?), but personally *I* am also uncomfortable with the term "women/AFAB persons" because it looks like it implies that the two are the same. (And with this post being about a type of misogyny specific to AFAB people, it also makes it read like it's implied that trans women are not included under the category of "women" in this usage)

Even when it comes to the articles about trans men in India, presenting them in this context (even outright claiming that trans women in India have an easier time building community and exploring their identities when the article ey linked was actually talking about the hypervisibility of hijras—a cultural third gender—and discussed how all binary trans people are being erased under the "third gender" label there) seems to dismiss the struggles that Indian transfems face. The articles discuss how trans men are erased in India, but that's also true of trans women in India. Hijras are hypervisible in India but they ALSO face increased rates of abuse, sexual assault, being forced to run away from home, and inability to find work like the trans men in the article described

It seems like this post just started out with the OP (I would hope unintentionally) implying that trans women in the past were "allowed" to exist more than trans men because they had male privilege, and then when one person tried to refute that idea people changed the topic to the tired argument of whether hypervisibility is better than erasure while continuing to use transmisogynistic language and even misgendering the person who spoke up about it. If I'm missing something and you've got a different interpretation of these parts of the post then feel free to explain your perspective if you're up for it, but that's how it reads to me and I'm not here for what I'm seeing in it. The discussion itself is an important one but I don't think there's a need to use transmisogynistic language or minimize the struggles that transfems face for it

I didn't write that post so I'm not really the right person to send this to.

But since you want MY opinion: calling trans men transmisogynistic for lamenting we have no historical record is transphobic, sexist and misogynistic, whether or not we said it in a way you approve of, and personally there was nothing wrong with how that original post was phrased.

It is FACT that we have more records of ancient societies where people we would now call transfemme/ftm openly existed and were acknowledged and had communities and had a name for themselves (whether they were "allowed" to do it or not) compared to records of transmasc/ftm people.

This is undeniable. It's not transmisogynistic to point this out. It's not transmisogynistic for trans men to be upset we are not acknowledged in history the way trans women are.

Whether or not transfemme people had/have it "easy" in those societies is a completely different discussion and not what the original post was discussing, because at the very least their existence was recorded, unlike transmasc people, who have almost no historical record whatsoever.

That is what the core of that post is about. It is about the lack of records, and then a discussion about why the historical record lacks transmasc representation.

A lack of records could be caused by a few things:

"There's no record because transmasc people just didn't exist back then". This is dumb, and anyone who believes this is dumb.

Transmasc people existed just as openly as transfemme people, but everyone just decided not to write about us for... some reason? Also very unlikely. Why would no one write about us? This makes no sense.

Transmasc people existed but because they were afab they were oppressed. Therefore, most of them were unable to express themselves, and the ones who did had to stay in hiding for their own safety, and thus had no access to community nor a name for who they were. Transmascs were not acknowledged in the record both because they were hiding and also because most societies are sexist and would therefore never record the existence of transmasc people or take us seriously or see us as anything other than "silly girls playing dress up".

#3 is the reason explored in the original post. This is also the reason you seem to have a problem with.

But it's just a fact: afab people start out oppressed from birth in most societies, both modern and historical. Period. We just do. And I'm sorry, but that does tend to make everything difficult.

I really, really resent that when it comes to discussing trans issues, afab people are repeatedly silenced and told we're not allowed to talk about the fact that we're fucking oppressed from birth, and that it makes our transition journeys hard.

And we get abuse from all sides for being afab! Which is just sexism and misogyny, plain and simple. It's "justified" for all kinds of bullshit reasons, but make no mistake: it's sexism and misogyny.

We get told by other trans people we have "afab privilege" which is fucking laughable and pisses me off so, so much. Thanks, I'm "privileged" to have been born as a marginalized and oppressed sex. Fuck off. We get told that bringing up our birth sex and the fact that we are oppressed for it is "transmisogyny", like you've done here. Fuck off. No it's not. Stop being a sexist asshole for two fucking seconds.

Then we get cis women assholes (like radfems and terfs) shouting at us that we're just "self-hating women" and we're "betraying the female sisterhood" and we're "misogynistic" for transitioning and "joining the enemy".

And THEN, we have to overcome sexism and misogyny before we're even taken seriously in a medical context, before we're allowed to transition! We have to fight for testosterone (which is a controlled substance), meaning we can't legally "DIY" our HRT. We have to beg for hysterectomies and top surgery, all while people try to control our bodies and tell us we're destroying our "beautiful fertile temples". Medical sexism is powerful and dangerous.

It's no fucking wonder to me there's not many records of transmascs in history. "Troublesome young girls" we were kept home under lock and key; we were married off to husbands at a young age who would control us and keep us in our place and make us pop out babies so we'd remember we were really destined to be women and mothers all along. And the trans men who managed to make it? I'm not surprised they kept as quiet as fucking possible about it, because they probably would've been dragged off and treated just as awfully.

The few historical trans men we know about were "oddities" - discovered after death, or part of small communities who accepted them for who they were, or were one-offs mentioned in a newspaper or an ancient text here or there. There was not a society-wide acknowledgement of our existence in historical cultures from around the world. We didn't have a name for ourselves, or community, or anything.

None of this erases the struggles transfemmes go through. None of this is claiming "trans men have it worse". We're literally just saying "no one talked about us and that sucks".

Trans men are just literally begging for the right to discuss our struggles without being told we're trying to oppress trans women in the fucking process. We're begging for the right to lament our lack of representation without being called fucking transmisogynistic for pointing it out.

#transphobia #sexism #misogyny

[petty-pumpkin]

y'know, i get this feeling that the order of the clock tower arc is not going to be the next one as everyone says.

im pretty sure it's going to be the next one after the new one that has been introduced at the end of today's episode 'cause this one is going to be a small one.

i've got the idea that this arc rn is going to be the fight against akutagawa alongside with atsushi and the person with a naruto-like outfit whom i assume it's fukuchi.

not any fukuchi tho. i'm pretty sure this is young fukuchi (unless this mf has decided to shave his moustache) because if you paid attention you would notice that they share the same shape of hair, the same mask and clothes from the official art that came some days ago. Also it seems he is carrying amenogozen or whatever that stupid sword is called.

Now we know that amenogozen can go back in time or whatever. Anyway, fukuchi's abiliy is to intensificate the efficiency of something 100 times more or smth. So let's say that 0,10 sec = 10 sec.

here's why i think this is young fukuchi and not normal fukuchi: what would happen if there's an ability out there that can intensificate fukuchi's ability or amenogozen? what if we're introduced to a time-controlling ability ? what if one of those two abilitys manage to affect fukuchi and bro goes back some few years ago? i don't know it seems a little bit plausible to say the least.

back to the point, it seems that fukuchi, young or not, is going to fight with emo boi and tiger boi. So, if this man keeps bullshitting then that means that there's probably a second part to the decay of angels arc. This is probaly a mini arc bc we already got a massive one prior to this one, besides i think it's going to be just a fight between them, i don't think there's ging to be much plot besides that; maybe an introduction to the order of the clock tower as those three idiots fight eachother.

following the mini arc, i'm pretty sure we will be iwelcomed to the order of the clock tower arc. Since i'm sure that chuuya won't really be of much importance to the mini arc, he's definitely going to be of major importance in the order of the clock tower arc.

(i already made a post explaining why chuuya's going to have some sort of main characater role in the order of the clock tower arc but basically the order of the clock tower is in london, guess who's also in london? that's right, shirase and adam. Gues who are of major importance in stormbringer? that's right, shirase and adam. Guess who's the mc of stormbringer? that's right, it's chuuya. so there's no way of denying this man will play a major role in the order of the clock tower arc, he's been neglected by asagiri in the main manga for too long, let him have some spotlight)

either way, i myself don't know where tf this is going, but i think that this arc is going to be small, the order of the clock tower arc is going to be REALLY BIG bc the latter has been referencing itelf since the beggining of the manga, and im pretty sure that agatha christie is going to be the main villian of that arc. And i'm not sure if there's going to be another arc after the order of the clock tower one (let's hope yes).

but yeah that's all lmao, this was rlly pointless but i just wanted to give my thoughts on this.

NEVERMIND BRO I GAVE IT A THOUGHT AND WHAT IF THE PERSON WHOM AKUTAGWA AND ATSUSHI ARE FIGHTING IS AMENOGOZEN??? THEY DID SAY THAT THE SWORD WAS ORIGINALLY A PERSON B4 AND IF YOU LOOK AT THE 'NEW 'CHARACTER THEY VERY MUCH DRESS FUNNY

#oh boi #i'm not ready for two more arcs #chuuya needs his mc moment frfr #bsd #bsd season 5 #bungou stray dogs #bsd fukuchi #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #bsd chuuya

[sammygender]

to be perfectly honest i don’t know if i fully believe that the scripts are fake. it just doesn’t make any sense. 8flix is a refutable service cited by like film students for years which still claims to get scripts from sources as opposed to writing them and has been around longer than stranger things even has. what’s more likely… some guy spends hours and hours making detailed fake scripts for like thousands of shows (or even just stranger things…. like that’s still hours), or even has some official scripts but gets in over his head and decides to fake more for money, OR the stranger things netflix account are pissed that some of their s5 plot twists got spoiled (byler, will recognising brenner/will and eleven’s ‘bond from another world’) and are doing damage control wherever possible, possibly including cutting a deal with nick/paying him off so that his career isn’t ruined by their potentially false and obviously purposefully ambiguous statement.

like… i personally think the latter option makes the most sense, but i can feel my personal bias of me wanting the scripts for at least s3 to be real (i’ve been quoting WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE? for like the past year) leaking through, so i’m unsure how accurate my judgement is. that being said when i look at just the facts the idea that the scripts are fake just doesn’t seem to hold up - ESPECIALLY not all the scripts. i’m like ninety nine percent sure the s2e9 script was official - it spoiled wills feelings for mike years early off a direction that wasn’t actually in the show, and featured the original song that was going to be played but ended up being changed. at the very least, it comes from an inside source. so then…. why would nick risk his reputation so hugely by making fake scripts for s4 and referencing them as real production scripts (bc he did do this; a lot of details of the website have been changed, but there are posts with screenshots of the old version. i don’t necessarily think this is particularly suspicious bc he’s probably just trying to cover himself. it does however prove we’re not just delusional)

i suppose the obvious answer is that nick’s source is giving him fake scripts, which would explain how 8flix’s usual reliability coexists with the st writer account’s declaration that any scripts are fake. but it feels a little more iffy than that to me?? that also brings into question which scripts are fake - are the s3 and s2 ones (thatve been out for years) fake? again i think at least the s2 one isn’t… idk much about the s3 ones though. so did his source randomly start supplying him with fake s4 scripts?

no matter what i think it’s pretty shitty of netflix/the st writers to leave everything so vague like this, and it makes me trust them a hell of a lot less. basically they’re capitalising off the confusion no matter what - bylers can still be fed by the s3 and s2 scripts and believe they’re real, milevens can insist they aren’t, and the duffers get to insist that any potential plot twists in s4 are faked. the writing is intentionally ambiguous when, if it was as clearcut as 8flix producing/distributing fake scripts, they could simply say that, and if the scripts are fake and have always been fake (or at least the s4 ones have been)… why the hell did netflix not speak up sooner??? is it REALLY just because the fandom liked them??? bc jesus that’s a low if so and only proves my point

this whole thing is just. A Mess

#byler #byler script #stranger things #i am soooo confused #but. until we get proof #i’m holding off on judgement #everyone’s awfully quick to condemn the scripts as totally faked with zero actual proof #oliver talks

[ihavedoorinsurance]

big long post abt bokutachi-kun bc i have worms

so. a little over a week ago, SoapOpera46 (or Yoli-chan) blessed us with this video and i would like to talk abt it at length. piece by piece. this is the true definition of sadan. so much so that it's going under a readmore (if those even matter anymore. i hear fumblr truncates posts automatically?) anyway

full disclosure: i didn't plan any of this. what's to come is basically word puke, off the top of my head, with no organisation or structure to it.

you won't be interested in this unless you're clinically insane. if you're looking for worthwhile opinions on the video, i recommend browsing the comments section. they're short, sweet, and easy to read. nnnnow, without further ado.....

I KU ZO

i'll start off saying i don't know shit about Dream (YUME-SAN as he is so graciously credited in the vid description)! not a damn thing! all i know is he's a Minecraft YouTuber, and up to just yesterday i didn't even know he made music! what seems to be very emo music if this song is anything to go by.

i looked up the lyrics seperately bc tbh i couldnt extrapolate anything from that singing. bokutachi-kun's a star talent and all bless his heart but i needed expert assistance. also according to the blurb at the bottom of the page i referenced, this song references the struggles of depression and ADHD! and myopia, most tragically of all.

here's a student copy.

what to note before we forge onwards: this is contextualised to us by Yoli-chan as a look into Bokutachi's history, saying she: "feeling it fit bokutachi-kun no past very much!!!"

i'm not sure how far in the past this is, but i have some vague ideas pinned on the information that, expressed by Episode 10, Raku and Koneko have already graduated (or dropped out of i'm not discounting that) college by the time the mainline story is in effect.

you also see these silhouettes

of what i assume to be the girls? at around 1:22, so i'm giving it anywhere from 6 to 14 years ago.

and if that seems like a wide ratio that's because it is!! i have no way of knowing what year of high school he's in, when exactly he graduated, how long it's been since then, or anything. i mean he's a fairly young man so i'll take that into account but that hardly helps

(also grant that none of the story takes off until after Raku and Koneko have left college long enough for Raku to call her fellow alumni "old" friends....also wtf what did they major in i've been asking this for years..you don't see them with jobs ever I MEAN PERHAPS KONEKO MAJORED IN NURSING THE COVID PSA DOES INDICATE SHE IS A PROFESSIONAL SO IDK)

but damn if any of that actually matters. you can't even peg the year by identifying hiis fatback monitor and Windows 98 ass OS

he is using some..EQUIVALENT of early msn messenger, maybe that puts this in the ballpark of 2000-2003

ik the Covid PSA isn't like properly canon or anything but i'll bet Raku is still using Win98 well after the OS's discontinuation anyway (it went out of service in 2006 if that helps.)

so if Bokutachi's old enough to be in any year of high school in 1998-2000 (assuming this computer is any indication. it might not be!), i'd wager a guess he's anywhere between 24-30 years old by the time NNSG properly starts (again assuming, that 2010 is the actual year the show takes place. once again, it might not be! it's at least post-Hatsune Miku, judging by the Christmas episode). this leaves room for college, but i doubt he went.

kind of what i already assumed, but it's fun trying to put these pieces together.

also can i just say i'm intrigued by the "nya, rawr" adlib in the beginning? that is Hitoshi's Thing, as we well know, but additionally, in the very beginning of the video, there is a box of pocky on the floor of the hallway.

pocky would happen to be one half of Hitoshi's favourite breakfast (plus ramune. this fuck drinks soda and eats cookies for breakfast what is wrong with him.), so i wonder if he had some knowledge of Hitoshi already this early on. we're operating on the premise that this is Bokutachi's younger self singing, right? did Hitoshi go to his school? we don't see him anywhere unlike Raku and Koneko, so idk. maybe "nya, rawr" is just a popular, cool phrase to say in Amerijapan.

potential cool thing: the one pocky stick upside down and sitting outside the box but near it might allude to Bokutachi himself. you do get the feeling he's lonely throughout the song, he's not got one close relationship with a real live person. not in school, not at home...

let's start talking about these lyrics.

I wear a mask with a smile for hours at a time Stare at the ceiling while I hold back what's on my mind And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine" And when they ask me how I'm doing I say, "I'm just fine"

--

so i like this set of frames

you see him happily chatting away, but abrubtly he gets tense and stops himself. only after his mood swing is acknowledged does he try to perk back up and affirm to whoever's asking that he's "just fine". clearly he feels some kind of pressure to bottle up his emotions.

the facade begins to wane slightly here: despite the open ears he remains reticent. another thing: he seems to just be very guarded when he's around people. like physically!

you see him holding himself in the midst of confrontation here, earlier he'd balled up his fist because he got upset thinking about something too long... his stance in general is very tight in public, from what i can tell.

here, he's got his arms firmly placed at his sides as he turns away from whoever it was that confronted him earlier. shortly afterwards when he's sure he's not being looked at, he drops his little half smile.

in the first image of this post, again at around 1:22-1:25 you see him holding his bookbag straps and powering through the hallways the longer he continues to walk, like there's a sense of urgency there.

and here, he's around people that are likely just minding their own business but he's just. not comfortable in any way. the song mentions at this point:

"Always bein' judged by a bunch of strange faces Scared to go outside, haven't seen the light in ages"

even though it seems he's being ignored for the most part. everyone who's addressed him thus far in the song has only ever asked him if he was okay. i have to wonder if he's being gossipped about behind his back for being an outcast and is well aware of it.

"haven't seen the light in ages" strikes me as metaphorical. light as in hope. light as in a reason to keep going.

ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE MOMENT TO HIGHLIGHT THESE LYRICS

But the fact is I can never get off of my mattress And all that they can ask is "Why are you so sad, kid?" (Why are you so sad, kid?)

--

my guy has been in bed all day long, just awake and in bed dawn to dusk, tossing and turning unable to get to sleep. or even will himself to get up. he hasn't eaten, drank, brushed his teeth, showered, just. bed. and the first thing his (probably) legal guardian thinks to ask him when he FINALLY manages to find some strength is why he's so sad.

it'd be nice to interpret that in a compassionate way. i think best case scenario, his guardian(s) don't know how to help him and want to talk with him. approaching the subject of utter disengagement from the world is difficult when you haven't lived it, and i can't imagine mental health resources are plentiful in early 2000s Amerijapan.

but also he doesn't seem to trust his legal guardian(s)?? he's just as guarded with them as he is with strangers, look at this at around 0:56

he looks anxious trying to address either of them. the way he's looking back and forth between them it's like he's trying to get a word in edgewise but can't.

they're not particularly given identifiable features. they look fairly similar to the "strange faces" he sees judging him, except they're bigger. they cast a longer shadow and they're no comfort to him at all. helps that the lyrics accompanied are:

"And it just keeps on pilin' It's so terrifying"

--

which implies to me he's constantly in the habit of racking up shames in his legal guardian's eyes. like they pick at him frequently and find reasons upon reasons to scold him, and remind him of everything that's going wrong. maybe the pressure he feels to perform normalcy is derived from them, because if someone finds something "wrong" with him, they're going to pick and pick and demean him and lose faith in him. and that hits too close to home for him.

(i'm willing to bet he is/was physically punished too. like, shot in the dark, but that makes sense to me with how stiffly he walks and how clammed up you see him around ppl. i might be projecting though but hey. never said i was sure.)

I'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY GUY IS JUST CHRONICALLY ONLINE TOO

morning to night, he finds himself whiling away HOURS on the computer. time spent online (on messaging clients and what have you) outweighs time spent on homework, and studying, possibly eating. anything else that might beg his attention is forgotten.

anything else that might stress him out is forgotten when he turns on the computer. he can mask (OHOHOHOHO) his struggles online because there's no burden of expectation or obligation.

there's a freedom in his anonymity, in how he can choose his company, and lie about being happy, and they'd believe him. no-one asks questions. there's no pressure. and that makes him "happy" so to speak.

i say that because only when he's messing around online do we finally see him peaceful enough to go to sleep. the fog on his brain is lifted when he turns himself into this person that's full of confidence and takes life easy. and even though he might be faking it...

Been wearin' a smile for so long, it's real So long, it's real, so long, it's real

that'll happen to you when you use another skin to cope with your own shortcomings. i'm acutely aware of this in particular. this might be what some people refer to as irony poisoning? when you do something enough times, even if it's only for show, it becomes habit, and your habits aren't you as a person, but they can certainly shape you.

i wonder if he joked about dark sshit like kidnapping people and committing felonies, etc. to try and make himself let go of the fear of being judged by others. make himself stop feeling empathy so he'd stop acting so careful, thus unchaining himself from his own thought paralysis. plenty of people do that (and some become criminals later on, go figure)

anyhow later on we have a mental breakdown from about 1:31 to 1:39 with:

But I've been places So I'm okay-ish, so I'm okay-ish Yeah, I'm okay, bitch"

--

coupled with what seems to be a violent start from a dream of some kind?

not sure if this dream IS or is connected to the following scenes of walking through the school hallways + out in the grass, but that would actually make a lot of sense considering "haven't seen the light in ages" compared against his internet addiction. like he found a distraction and thus has little incentive to leave. i imagine he's skipping school and holing up in his room or something.

the effects of what he's doing seem to be catching up with him. you can see him high strung when he gets out of bed, and when he answers to what's likely his guardian(s), it snaps him.

i get the impression he either woke up with all this tension, then realised he slept through the morning and made it worse, OR. the dream sharply reminded him of his current circumstances and THAT made it worse.

maybe he's spiralling because he feels powerless. to stop himself from making bad decisions, from disappointing people, from pushing people away, from underachieving, from misusing his time, from taking his life for granted, from being alone...challenging these doubts about your own agency over your life is tough when you don't know where to start and also you're a teenager.

he's clearly wracked with despair over this but can't act in his own best interest due to closing off all avenues to recovery thanks to never opening up to anyone. god the more i think about it, the more i consider "why are you so sad, kid?" to be accusatory. if you feel singled out in being honest, of course you'll try to avoid that.

also note:

But the fact is I need help, I'm failin' all my classes

damn straight.

jesus that report card. look at that thing, that is straight Fs all the way down. i mean we know he hasn't been doing his homework but god ALL F'S??? IN EVERY SUBJECT????? you'd think he wasn't going to school at all, which kind of lends itself to my idea that he's just altogether not going. or when he is there, doing literally anything else but the work. god damn. relatable

that combined with his outburst, that epic door slam?? that might be what pulls him into the doctor's office later on. like his legal guardian(s) are just sick of his shit and so they get him psychoanalysed.

A FINE ANALYSIS FROM DR. ^w^ PHD, FUCKING "NORMAL JA NAI", WHAT A GENIUS ASSESSMENT. I'M SO GLAD THEY COULD TAP INTO THE HEART OF THE ISSUE AND ADDRESS THE ROOT CAUSE OF HIS SUFFERING IN A THOROUGH AND SPECIALISED MANNER. BASED

no seriously even though that shit kills me every time i see it, i like the implication that they only vaguely diagnose symptoms, write a prescription, and send him on his way. like what's really wrong with him is being overlooked by professionals because the mental health awareness just isn't there. as exemplified by:

"They think that I need glasses"

which is a lyric i laughed at but also...that's kinda true to life. you'll say to your school's counsellor, everything that sings to the tune of someone with executive dysfunction. a spectrum disorder even. and they'll be like

"hm. move em up. they cant see the board that's why they're not taking notes right. have you talked to an ophthalmologist". offering bandaid solutions for bigger issues. and speaking of bandaid solutions, DRUGS

"I just really wish that I could pass this (Wish that I could pass this)"

That's what the mask is That's what the point of the mask is"

SDGLKMFKFKLDHNFGJKNGVF I RAN OUT OF IMAGE SPACE LMAOOOO

okay so basically from 1:49-1:59 Bokutachi goes through a moment of crisis where he laments his fate of being labelled as "NORMAL JA NAI". either he doesn't like the things the medication is doing to him or he's skeptical of taking them at all. regardless those shits are going inthe TRASH. my guy is like "fuck big pharma" out here

he is not in a stable frame of mind at all throughout this video. who knows if those pills would have helped. we'll never know because he doesn't trust them. he doesn't want to think of himself as someone who needs that kind of thing.

as far as he's concerned he doesn't! he has his chat group, he has FUCKING MINESWEEPER; if he were to try and "fix" himself now, what would happen to those spaces? would he still be able to navigate them? find the same joy in them as he once did? they're all that matters to him! he's become accustomed to the isolation and this is his only reprieve (read as: escape) from a hostile environment.

(how hostile it really is, that's sort of up in the air. i'm thinking he's got the makings of a dude with some kinda cluster A disorder. ADD and autism are also on my mind, depression because of the song's origins itself, but eh. i digress.)

you can see him calm himself down once it's time to boot up the computer again at 2:00.

so it would seem, he's already given up on trying to be more than what he is right now. change is scary though, i don't blame him. especially when you feel like it's being forced on you when you didn't ask.

maybe this is him trying to regain some kind of control, but...in a decidedly unhealthy way. by sticking his head in the sand and acting like nothing's wrong. burying the idea that he needs help makes him feel less like a problem that needs to be solved and more like a well adjusted person that's just misunderstood.

at 2:09 he pulls out his planner (i refuse to believe that's a smartphone LIKE COME ON THE TIMELINE. PLEASE) and you can kind of watch his stomach churn knowing there's shit to do but his alter ego doesn't care.

his alter ego isn't concerned with that bullshit. "nah i'll have time. i'll do it later. and if i don't get it done tonight, who cares? nothing's gonna happen to me and i don't gotta answer to anybody. i'm not scared." he's developing an apathy to responsibility b/c it frustrates him he can't manage it.

i have to ask if this is where his rebuke of social acceptability took root.

you even see him at around 2:21-2:26 pull out his medical records and write "daijoubu" next to the diagnosis. which also slays me but next to "NORMAL ja nai" it kind of reads like "not being normal is okay".

that's a perfectly fine stance to have when you're just a little kooky! just a tad silly! eccentric even! i don't know if that's something you should be saying to wave away EVERYTHING that could be affecting you (and potentially others if it goes unchecked), just because it makes you uncomfortable to stare it down! that's dangerous!! particularly when you don't know your limits

i'm also kind of loving 2:28-2:32??? where he raises his head to his legal guardians and he's smiling for the first time in front of them.

but now we're well aware all his smiles are performative. he's wearing the mask for them now too.

the fake it 'til you make it policy seems to be his safety net. in order to avoid being treated and seen like a walking blemish, something to be fixed, he's slowly grown to be more comfortable acting well to do, or at least unaffected. then people leave him alone. when he's loose and devil-may-care, he's allowed to be himself. which would be fine if that were honest.

in truth, he's extremely emotional. he's sensitive. he's scared and wound up. he's angry and he's self conscious. he cannot function in the way the world wants him to, and he can't stand his own inaction in the face of his self-inflicted demise. but when that's too shameful to bear, you don't seek anyone out. imagine how much more painful it would be to have someone see you flounder. they'll poke fun. they'll judge.

it's like he sees the world telling him to be better, and his response is to create what he thinks is an objectively better person. even though at the end of the day he is still who he is.

i wonder if he starts wearing that mask permanently because at one point he'd become aware there was no running from himself. with this being his only way to reconcile his failures, it was inevitable.

we end the animation with him going to sleep and his maegami "masked" self looming over the end credits. smiling is equated with wearing a mask consistently throughout the song, so i find the image of him going to sleep with a smile on his face pretty solidly telling me that he's starting the transition into becoming the Projected Bokutachi as opposed to Plain Bokutachi.

this is the beginning of his descent into a more dangerous, yet exciting and outgoing person. he is mentally unwell and owning it. i don't know what happened between high school and the NNSG plotline (or god forbid, what happened between childhood and adolescence), but here we definitely introduce some catalysts for his face-heel turn.

and now i have even more reasons to reconsider this little rat man's true motivations and character depth.

arigatou gozaimasu Yoli-chan (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

#nnsg #nyan neko sugar girls #nnsgposting #bokutachi-san #no one is going to read this!! and what's more i actually highly encourage that you don't!!!! #look at this shit is longer than the Half Blood Prince #im really just rambling but like god damn you dont understand #how good it is to be validated with this #after eight years my curiosity has been rewarded #and now to go even further beyond and make even MORE fanfic #god i should show off my theory if were going this far with it right #yeah ill do that. at some point though not tonight #i need fresh brain

[theplanetprince]

Pick Your Poison || Invisobang 2022

Fic: AO3 || FNN

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Rating: Teens and Up

Word Count (approx): 38k~

Chapters: 5/5

Relationships:

Valerie Gray/Wes Weston (implied, one-sided)

Danny Fenton & Wes Weston

Dash Baxter & Wes Weston

Jazz Fenton & Danny Fenton

Characters:

Wes Weston

Kyle Weston

Valerie Gray

Dash Baxter

Danny Fenton

Jazz Fenton

Penelope Spectra

Additional Tags: Horror, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Morally Ambiguous Character, Poisoning, Poison, Mental Health Issues, Therapy, Really Bad Therapy, Paranoia, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, Psychological Horror, Angst, Teenagers, Teen Angst, Gaslighting, Violence, High School, Bullying, One Shot, Blood and Injury, Animal Death, Origin Story, Not Fanon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Anxiety, Separation Anxiety, Family Drama, Family Feels, Villains, Bastardization Arc, Missing Persons, Danny Fenton is a Little Shit, Pretentious, Obsessive Behavior, Feral Behavior, Inspired by Music, Based on a The Front Bottoms Song, Song: I Ran (So Far Away) (A Flock of Seagulls), Inspired by Stephen King's IT, Inspired by Stranger Things (TV 2016), Song: Voodoo Magic (The Front Bottoms), Attempted Murder, Assault

Fic Summary: Grief has a way of changing people. Wes Weston's older brother going missing during the haunted house fire last year had changed him. His therapist would agree. Change isn't always for the better.

What hasn't changed are the countless questions Wesley was left with. Though some had more puzzling answers but answers nonetheless...

Could you kill a ghost?

And could Wes get away with it?

Author's Note: Thank you all to the lovely people who host @invisobang and who let me come back this year. I also wish to thank my lovely fic partner for this year @valpal5117 / @valpal5117-art! Go check out the artwork they've done for this piece, as well as everything else they post bc it's fantastic. I brought you all something a little different from my usual style, something a bit darker and a bit more spooky since the season is arriving. It's my first time writing Wes Weston, and I hope I've done this fan character some justice. Like last year I've included the link to my fic as well as the first chapter under the read more. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed making it! Thanks again! -Voorhees 🤟

Every morning Kyle would check the rat traps in the basement for his Dad. It wasn’t that he had strong feelings for the creatures, but he still winced at the idea of killing the poor things. It bothered him, but you get used to it, y’know? It wasn’t like he was a vegan or, god forbid, an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian. But death seemed so… permanent, for lack of a better word. It was such a severe punishment for the crime of just existing in a hostile environment. 

Then again, this is Amity Park. Death didn’t seem to stick here. 

It had been more than a year or so since they moved here, and with every passing minute, it felt like an eternity longer. Kyle, like any child, was apprehensive about transition, but when his father said they wouldn’t have to move again after their resettlement to Amity Park… he was more receptive to it. 

But then again, it’s Amity fucking Park. It had this habit of sucking all the good out. As soon as you step into the county boundary, it's like you forfeit all rights to happiness. 

At the bottom of the first-floor stairs, the sixth-grader had sleepily pulled on his socks. He hated going down there. The concrete floor was always so cold. It was like the ice resting on Lake Eerie. It was freezing and— it’d kill someone in this house to break out the broom. Rocks and shards of debris would lodge into his heel, and the youngest Weston would limp around the house. Kyle’s jaw popped as he yawned. The boy organized his choppy red hair into its natural cowlick before stuffing it into his ball cap. He got to his feet and shuffled towards the back of the house. The stairs creaked under his weight as he descended. The basement door caught a gust of wind and slammed against the wall, sending vibrations through the house. 

Damn, I hope I didn’t crack the wall. 

There was no arm rail for the stairs because this architectural nightmare was built before common sense. Kyle turned his head back from the light of the first floor, back into the blackness of the basement. He didn’t want to upset his Dad again.

See, this first year hadn’t been smooth sailing, if you managed to guess. Kyle’s brothers weren’t as ‘go-with-the-flow’ with the move. Or anything that came after. Kyle didn’t believe in conflict. He was the youngest; he was the baby of the family. He was the one who got the pat on the head for every single achievement; before, inevitably, the conversation shifted. It wasn’t his job to rock the boat. It was his job to be a good student, get the garbage out, and of course…

Go into the creepy-ass basement to check for rats that may or may not exist. 

See, Wes was the first one to see the rats. Or, more accurately, he saw the damage the rats did. Some chewed and frayed wires in the power box—things of that nature. 

…Wesley was a lot to unpack. Some would say. 

He was high-strung, had trouble letting things go, and, oh yeah, he kept seeing things that didn’t exist. That was the concerning part. At first, everyone wanted to shrug it off as a 'middle child' thing. That's before he started saying his classmates were… dead. Wes said one of his classmates had been replaced with a ghost. Then there were the weird phone calls at all hours of the night. The obsession with short radios and the police scanners that would buzz and burst to life randomly with noise. 

That’s what led to Kyle and Easton being dropped off at practices and games, while every other Thursday, they had to wave off their brother Wes in the parking lot of a therapist's office. Kyle had only been inside that building once. It didn’t smell like how a doctor’s office should, sterile, harsh, and chemical. Instead, it vaguely had the stench of coffee and cigarettes and was… overwhelmingly stale. It wasn’t a very ventilated place. There were hardly any windows except those in the private rooms where Wes would allegedly spend his allotted hour staring blankly out like he was in The Shawshank Redemption— effectively burning their father’s money.

The shrink— or rather, Ms Penelope, seemed really nice. Teetering on the edge of overkill. Kyle understood why his older brother would be reluctant to share anything with someone who appeared to be trying too hard to seem trustworthy rather than proving it. She didn’t seem too interested in Kyle’s issues per se; they spent their introductory session playing all manner of board games. Her office was plush. The couch was padded arm to arm with throw pillows, the kind with the fur on them. Not that the sixth-grader could get comfortable anyway. It may not have smelled like a regular doctor's office, but it sure was cold like one. What little hair he had on his arms stood on end with the chill. 

Kyle spent most of his appointment hunched over the coffee table, trying to rationalize in his head which colored 'Sorry!' pawn meant he had the least amount of mental disturbances. The idea behind the practice was to become emotionally vulnerable, but often that feeling overlapped with being completely exposed. Not that the middle schooler had anything to hide. Nothing out of the ordinary for a kid his age. 

Kyle would argue that he was the most well-adjusted in the family, including the two adults, in terms of who needed therapy and who didn't. Ms Penelope agreed and thought Kyle was quite mature beyond his years. However, that wasn’t the thing that stood out the most about that first and last session. Maybe it was something in his mannerisms or when Wes was brought up— perhaps it was what Kyle didn’t say. 

Penelope seemed to believe that Kyle was developing the early stages of SAD. Separation Anxiety Disorder. She said it was completely natural, given what he’s been through. Kyle didn’t like to be alone. Who did? What shocked him was that he didn’t refuse. There was no initial denial when the shrink laid it out like that. With her soft and educated voice, she had smoothed out her red pencil skirt, and lowered her cat-eye glasses to the bridge of her upturned nose. She just said it without any preamble; no fanfare at all. 

Who isn't anxious these days? In this economy? Have you seen where they live? 

Penelope had deduced effortlessly that Kyle used his humor to distance himself from his fear. The facade that took him twelve years to craft had been pierced. 

In even less time, she had come to the conclusion that the trigger for Kyle’s anxiety was… Wes. 

At once, Kyle had leaped to his older brother’s defense. Saying that, while Kyle may have been a bit… stressed , for lack of a less clinical term, Wes would have never done anything intentionally. 

That’s where she stopped him, her pen coming to a halt on her yellow notebook. Penelope dotted the end of her last sentence. Her eyes found him, then the cozy clutter of the office fell away. The maternal cadence dissolved into something cold and purely analytical. 

She told him, ‘The path to hell is paved with good intentions.’ 

Every morning Kyle would check the rat traps in the basement. 

The wooden stairs exhaled—Groaning with each step the youngest Weston landed. The water heater churned ominously. The grey floors were warped with age and stained with damage from times long gone. Kyle carefully found his way to the bottom and glanced up from his feet. He saw his brother now. Wes was hunched over the rat traps. He had one of his freckled hands inside like he was digging something out of it. 

Kyle cocked his head, still blurry with sleep, rubbing his eyes, “What’re you doin’?” 

Startling, Wes didn’t drop the metal box. Instead, the elder brother froze and stared up at his younger with bloodshot eyes. He didn’t answer right away. 

Clearing his throat, Wesley pulled his fist out of the plastic box. He explained, “I thought I’d check the traps for you. I know it's… it’s kinda gross.” 

Kyle let go of a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He’d rather not look at something that small being dead. He asked, “Did we get’em this time?” 

Hesitant to answer, the elder moved the now closed box into the trash, “Ye-yeah. We did.” 

“Thank god.” Kyle scratched his forehead nervously, “Well, I mean, it sucks that it’s dead-dead, but…” 

Standing, Wes clapped a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, “It's just nature. Don’t feel too bad about it, ‘kay? If it wasn’t us, then it’d be a cat later or somethin’ else. They were already dead when they walked in here.” 

“I guess…” Kyle begrudged and leaned into his brother’s hand, taking him wholly at his word. It was effortless to believe him. Wes had a way with words. Y'know that was his nickname when they were younger; Wesley the wise. Then there was Kyle the kind, Easton the earnest, and Clay… 

Kyle winced. They weren’t supposed to talk about Clay. 

Awkwardly, the older turned and stuffed something into his backpack before zipping it up, “Hey, don’t get too bummed out, alright? It's still kind of early, so now you have extra time to stop by the corner store and get some doughnuts for breakfast.” He threw his bag over his shoulder, “Doesn’t that sound good?” 

Kyle rubbed his arms, sniffling, “Uh, yeah… chocolate milk with a maple bar… what’re you gonna get?” 

Mirroring his younger brother’s body language, Wes shook his head, “You can go on ahead of me; you're old enough.” 

“But Dad says—” 

Wesley cut him off, “What Dad doesn't know won’t kill him.” He extended his pinkie, “I promise.” 

Taking a step forward, Kyle wrapped his pinkie around his older brother’s; he nodded, “Alright. I’ll walk to school by myself.” 

“Get a move on! I wanna hear all about your solo excursions when I pick you up!” Wes coaxed his brother up the stairs and out of the basement, “Talk to some cute girls, put in a good word for me.” 

The conversation struck Kyle as odd. He couldn’t exactly put his finger on why. Maybe because Wes, for once, didn’t have to be dragged out of bed by his ankles. He seemed motivated. 

Then there was the second fact: Wes basically told him everything he wanted to hear. This wasn’t a conversation but the facsimile of one. Like there was a cue card Wes was reading just behind Kyle’s head. Somewhere out there, the same audience that got their kicks from Full House would be cracking up about this. 

He was pretending to be okay. 

Like with every rehearsed motion, the elder was telegraphing silently, ‘Look! Look at me! Look at how good I am! Aren’t I fixed now? Aren’t you proud of me?’ 

There was something quiet about his desperation to be accepted back into the flock. The family didn’t like to acknowledge their blackest sheep. It was almost like an unspoken rule. Wes’ appointments and his antics were written off and thrown under a huge rug. Less like he was a young adult approaching college and more like a precocious toddler or a rambunctious family pet that was resistant to discipline. After all, both of those options bite people unprovoked. 

Kyle could only wince through a smile. What was he supposed to do? He was just a kid, and as life liked to remind him at a near-constant pace— there was very little someone his age could contribute. So, he stays out of the way. What else could he do? 

“Uh…” He asked once more, knowing he wouldn’t enjoy the answer, “Are— Are you sure?” 

Wes silently tilted his head. He didn’t understand the rising fear in his younger brother’s voice. 

Kyle clarified, “Are you sure you don’t want to walk together?” 

“Don’t sweat it, bud. I won’t be late.” 

That was the furthest thing from what Kyle was worried about.

#wes weston #kyle weston #wesley weston #valerie gray #phic #danny phantom #dp #fic #horror #invisobang #invisobang 2022 #minibang

[banghwa]

hey, can i ask how you were able to get such a good grasp on the hyyh storyline?? i'm asking because i've been a fan of their work for over a year but i was never able to fully comprehend the actual events of hyyh.

i have watched videos and learned some other stuff from comments here and there but the problem is that, although there seems to be a general consensus on some of the themes of hyyh, some people have different interpretations of what actually happened. not as in they have different interpretations of the meaning of the events, but rather the actual events themselves. i know this is inevitable considering the way the storyline was presented (through music videos that weren't in chronological order, mobile games (?), the notes, social media easter eggs, performances, etc.) but it's kind of discouraging to think that there will almost always be stuff you miss, you know? all the appreciation i have for hyyh comes from the few things i've been able to understand but i sometimes wonder if my analysis is completely off simply because i don't understand the storyline itself.

it seems like there's a lot of resources out there helping people understand references and metaphors but the problem is that i never actually know where their source is from (as in, for example they make a connection to another even that i didn't even know had happened).

what i'm trying to say is that i would love for you to maybe talk about your experience understand and analyzing hyyh and how you consumed it in the first place. did you just watch the music videos and hope for the best? do you think reading the works that were referenced in the story (demian, the ones who walk away from omelas, etc.) would help ones understanding of the events or is it of more help in terms of themes? did you use secondary sources? if so, do you have any recommendations for people that want to understand the storyline but are starting essentially from zero?

im so sorry this ask is so long lol. of course you don't have to answer it, i'm just really really interested in this and what you have to say, and i trust your judgement so.

hiiii omg of course! i think video essays and stuff are really great for understanding how the mvs depict the storyline and to get a good idea of the main themes and symbols, but when it comes to understanding the timeline your best bet is the notes! i got into the hyyh game veryyyyy late but i had read the webtoon when it was coming out, i watched the video analyses etc etc but it really wasnt until i read the notes that i felt like i really understood the key dates and the characters too. i think reading the books that inspired hyyh are totally secondary and not really necessary, especially that the direct references as so sparse in the grand scheme of whats concrete canon vs what is symbolism. watching the mvs first and watching a few analysis videos/posts first really helped me get interested but if you're looking to get invested in the characters, understand their motivations, and be able to link dates to the mvs i rly recommend the notes!

however, like you said, hyyh is incredible and annoyingly confusing and convoluted :') even the notes can be difficult to read bcs 1) they're translations so some details are lost or skewed and 2) there are a lot of double notes + notes that are from different timelines without any distinction of what happens when and where and 3) theyre just for the most part poorly written. like its just straight up poor sloppy writing lmao. and there's just soooo much BU content but the problem is none of it is really that consistent and its hard to gauge whats canon vs whats another attempt vs whats a hyyh/ARG nostalgia cash grab. and so its very difficult to remember absolutely everything. so honestly my advice is to keep it simple! no need to remember dates or anything, just key events is fine. the notes for the most part cover everything and there have been lots of fan translations in addition to the official book so theres always backup for more nuance!

tldr: i would highly highly highly recommend reading the notes for anyone interested in getting into hyyh, i think theyre rly the best bet for balance between canon and clarity. definitely feeds the other sources rly well and fills in a lot of the blanks!

#theres a ton of notes pdfs and translations online !! #and pls!!! i dont mind long asks at all esp hyyh asks!!! i love to answer them!!! #💌 #yoongi3 #hyyhposting

[legionnaireslover]

What’s  “Murphysmom67″ so upset about?

Let’s see - Murphysmom67 presents herself and a medical blogger (and Gator enables her to do so).  She claims that she is more than qualified to make highly detailed diagnosis of BC’s “problems” (both psychological and physical) and wants others to believe in her “opinions” because she wants her views to carry weight.

BUT there’s a BIG problem!  Murphysmom67 has a CREDIBITY PROBLEM.  

This was sent in to Gator after Gator posted Murphysmom67′s completely unhinged rant about BC living a life of total mind-conrolling torture and sexual and physical abuse and claiming to be “privy to this man’s psychiatric and familial history over the last 4 years.”  

She also claimed she had the “pleasure of working with someone who has the insight and maturity to understand this man far better than I ever could” (she means Aeltri who claims to have connections with BC on the ASTAL PLANE!).

Publishing THIS on a PUBLIC FORUM opens her up to PUBLIC scrutiny.  So she shouldn’t be surprised if others answer her back.

Oh, but the Haters are INCENSED that anyone would dare question Murphysmom67′s off the wall tome!

Just look at Gator’s response!

Note: the part below Gator’s reply with the yellow highlighting is just Msloxictea’s standard conspiratorial response.  Just ignore it.

But get a load of Gator’s denial!  Of course she doesn’t “know anything about” @murphysmom67′s opinion about vaccines!  Gator’s too laszy to do any background research on the people she touts as “medical experts” on her blog!  All she requires is that the said “expert” hates on Sophie Hunter Cumberbatch and touts the haters narrative!  Period!  

And the next point proves what BULLSHIT everything MM67 and Gator are pushing!  Gator freely admits that MM67′s information is “gleaned from helping my friend (she is referencing AELTRI) to help Ben”.  That means MM67 knows NOTHING except what AELTRI has told her!  

And then we get to the heart of the matter - GATOR doesn’t give a shit what facts the anon presents!  Because this is all about Haters reinforcing their narrative!  It isn’t about seeking the truth.  It’s about them living in their echo chamber.  And getting attention.

And here’s the final kicker - 

Well, MM67, this anon has a right to see your opinion about Covid WHEN YOU PUBLISH IT ON A PUBLIC FORUM LIKE TWITTER!

And if there’s any doubt Janice Allen is Murphysmom67, here’s the woman herself saying they are one and the same (so don’t come crying about someone “doxxing” you)...

So sweetie, if you don’t like others finding out about your anitvax opinions, that’s just too bad.  You’re the one who published it for everyone to see!  

And that leads us back to CREDIBILITY.  Murphysmom67 you have ZERO credibility as a “medical professional” and you CERTAINLY don’t know SHIT about BC’s life or medical history!  Your “source” is a delusional woman who has NEVER met BC and seems to have deranged ideas about connecting with him in a fevered dream.

[numetalpuppygirl]

okay now that it's The Posting Hour i can talk about my current wave of bullshit. so i've been thinking about misinformation and the sort of art that can be involved in making it seem believable. specifically, i'm talking about the idea of presenting bullshit to appear academic, requiring the citation of sources to back your terrible awful claim. this has led me to create a source strata with 8 tiers, with each being of a different level of legitimacy, that someone could use to prioritize sources by how bullshit they appear (versus how bullshit they really are). although if you don't already kinda know this then im not sure you're cut out to be a dealer of deception. additional note: i probs don't have to say this but i don't condone malevolent misinformation campaigns, OK? i just have a little bug in my brain that's all

Tier 1: Actual proper scholarly articles

like. real research, presumably peer-reviewed and backed up with other proper sources and published in some kind of fancy journal. obviously, if you can find any of these that in any way support your bullshit, that's great for you! it's unlikely, though, and in some cases willfully misinterpreting a good source may actually be worse for your point than truthfully interpreting a slightly more questionable source

Tier 2: Real research, less real results

stuff that is still Good Research but doesn't really stand well on its own. studies with small sample sizes or results that are difficult to replicate. these could still, in theory, get cited in Real Research and Not Bullshit, but they often are only meant to suggest that your study is worthwhile, not prove anything themselves. you can exploit this! the names attached to these may be well-respected, and the methods may be sound, while the conclusions might be total bullshit! if you're lucky, that bullshit will support your bullshit

Tier 3: Reputable but not scholarly

well-established news outlets, government sources, and even primary sources can go here. these are all "reliable" in the sense that they're published by bodies with some level of authority over what they are claiming and (in the case of the first at least) are likely employ the work of skilled researchers. however, there is no promise of an attempt to be impartial, as there is (in theory) in the above sections. this could be a goldmine for you! biased information is hugely serviceable to bullshitters, and you could (and will) do a lot worse than this stuff

Tier 4: Getting colder now

more openly biased news sources (the bulk of popular news, really) goes here. they've got some level of obligation to report truths, but how they do so is totally up to them. that can be good for your case! not so much for your credibility. we've entered the territory where using these sources is better if you can distract from it with a better sources nearby

Tier 5: Pop media

this is where you get the real dredges of what can be considered "news" by any imagination, as well as magazine columns and moderately qualified bloggers. there may be some level of establishment or name recognition here that plays to your favor, but nobody with a lick of sense is taking this stuff seriously. luckily for you, people with a lick of sense are probably not in your target audience

Tier 6: Internet bullshit with some elbow grease

the type of "source" that gets passed around online. this very post could be considered an example of this (though not a very good one - i haven't referenced any other source). twitter threads, youtube essays, longform tumblr posts, and so on... these all have virtually no barrier of entry, but can easily have some level of effort put into them that makes them at least seem more believable. as a side note, this is about the same section i would put fictional sources in; there's effort there, just no attempt at realism (bc why would there be?)

Tier 7: Internet bullshit with some elbow bullshit

i'm talking now about the most incomprehensible useless content imaginable. imagine like. a 5 minute crafts video. or a facebook post that your weird aunt makes. this is the most pathetic example of something that you could *technically* consider a "source" by virtue of the fact that it is a thing somebody said at some point that supports the fact that you're not the only person to ever do so. if that's not nuts enough for you, though...

Tier 8: Literally just make shit up

y'know the footnote that's like "This was once revealed to me in a dream" that's in that popular post? that's what you're doing here. if you get to the point where you've just absolutely hit a wall and you still need to include a core tenet of your bullshit but can't find any sign that anyone else has ever had a thought congruent to it? just say something vague like "this is generally known" and move on. not good for your case in the least, however, so if you get to this point maybe you want to reassess how convincing your claim is

one of the reasons this fascinates me is because, by doing this, you are removing the boundary of truth and treating all possible sources of information (be it good or bad) as viable (though, importantly, not all equal) and this tiered system illustrates the process of understanding how each of these types of source will be reflected by public reaction and how one can make a craft out of gauging and comprehending those reactions and use them to weave a web of any source that is *available* (attempting to get the "lowest score" possible in terms of the final sum that comes from the totaled numbers of the strata that each source used belongs to) and create something that a significant population will or at least could buy into

#sorry idk what this like. is #long post #*char noises*