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cosmic-navel-gazin · 1 month

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Finished Felvidek and had a grand time!

Thought I'd do a lil list of things/moments/details I loved off the top of my head:

gave cursed coffee bean to a chicken and it mutated. Did it for science

game's got some twin peaks vibes, some monty python, a tad of hylics, along it a bunch of other ingredients, but it feels very much its own thing with its own identity

pear man and his daughters deserve the world, wish we hung out more

there's a fight with an invisible enemy, all your attacks miss because your guys can't see shit and I was laughing just imagining Pavol and Matej swinging their swords at nothing hoping to slay the forest fiend. Very Don Quixote, I love it.

the PS1 style cutscenes are sooooo beautiful I love them to pieces, they drip with style and charm. I knew I needed to give this game a go the moment I watched the trailer and was greeted by the cinematics. God I love them so much. And not just the syle but the directing itself, the way shots are framed, god...

I love the character portraits for everyone. There's so much detail and everyone feels unique/like an actual person with distinct features. From the Priest's very punchable face, to Pavol's grin to Josef's sexy ass... From main characters to NPCs to enemy sprites, I love everyone's design and colour coding (don't know if it was intentional but the purple for the cultists was neat, seemed to subtly imply early on that they were being funded by rich folk, since pruple is associated with nobility, power and wealth)

speaking of character design, shout-out to this lil guy, look at him please

Numnut the drunkard my beloved, I recruited him and less than a minute later he fell on flat ground into a nearby river (and drowns???). I reloaded a previous save to see if I could have him in my party a lil longer. I took a different path, got into a fight. "yay I get to see him in action!"- I thought. I used his one special move, called: 'good idea', and Numnut proceeds to punch his own face, dealing 90 damage (not even in the endgame did I deal such high numbers!). THE Character of all time, he drowned again after that and I'll never forget him.

BALLOON IN THE MIDDLE AGES! (possible Andrei Rublev reference? I can dream...)

just, the way things are worded:

cutting people's ears after killing them as spoils (and giving the ears to a maiden, as you do)

there's a quest where you have to cut a man's tattooed buttock to give to another guy, and it's all for nothing, you ruined a man's ass for nothing. I love it. The dialogue during this whole section had me dying.

I love that there's just this guy who lives in the castle's well. And our boy Pavol thinks it's a great idea to throw a bomb in there to make him come out.

this:

there's these lil inisghtful and mournfoul comments on the dead bodies you leave behind. Like, expressing regret at all the senseless violence and death or how cheap life is here. And I'm not sure if it's Pavol or Matej making them. It makes more sense for it to be Matej but I kinda like the idea of it being Pavol's comments, these small moments of introspection and realization in the midst of a drunken adventure. You've been engaging in all the violence while pissed drunk but then after you kill your opponents and look at their corpses... and it's like this sobering moment, before you're back at it with all the merry-making (I also like that a lot of these bodies don't disappear and just remain on screen, and you can see the carnage your guys leave behind in their quest)

the whole adventure felt to me like, this series of odd little events in a knight's life before it's passed down, told by and retold by different people, and after many generations it's been touched up and made more coherent and noble than the clusterfuck it actually was. Before it became a narrative I guess is what I mean

it can get a bit wordy and hard to follow but I really like the old timey way the dialogue is written and its dry sense of humour

there's these little subversions of gaming tropes that I found really fun too! Like as soon as Pavol's wife and your falling out with her is introduced you may expect a reconciliation between the two, or a moment where you have to save her and prove your worth and love to her to win her heart. As you would expect from a story with a knight and a damsel. But no she hates his guts lmao tries to murder him too! (tho I do think Pavol took her in that balloon ride at the end). There's also the fact that I am not allowed to play minigames! Josef wants to play tabletop games but your character always replies no. No minigames for you son! And like, this feels especially catered to me as someone who, more often than not, will dread whenever a game will introduce some sort of card game or the like. I was so happy that wasn't forced on me for once! Couldn't believe it. Kinda felt bad for Josef tho, I'm sorry Pavol doesn't wanna play Pexeso wth you.

the battle animations! I'm particularly fond of the eating porridge one, or the chugging down a bucket of sour cream, and the petard

the little *slaps face* animation

Pavol and Matej as a duo and the whole tavern scene with the two exchanging clothes

the lil moments of humanity where Pavol talks about his broken life and sense of self

the rare moments when Pavol stops grinning

it goes without saying but the art is absolutely gorgeous. Its nostalgic monochrome melancholy speaks to me on a deep spiritual level. Inject it directly into my bone marrow please. Shout-out also to the ost, it fucks and has tons of bangers. The Hrad track, the one that plays on Josef's castle... god... love at first listen, and have been listening nonstop for the last few days now while going on walks.

#went in almost completely blind and had a great time. really nice surprise #Felvidek #my ramblings #videogames

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heartnosekid · 4 months

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well, friends. i’m sure a good lot of you have seen this post. i was denied today. i have to contact a lawyer and i don't even know how to begin advocating for myself outside of simply contacting the firm an ex-friend of mine used to obtain disability.

if you would rather not read the whole vent, i completely understand. but if you would still like to provide answers or support to me, here are my main issues.

i need advice from others who have been denied disability and have gone through a lawyer to obtain it. i need advice on what to do about getting started with victim advocacy. that's about it, i reckon. i love you all. my dm's are open. you will be blocked if you clown.

and yes, i realize my stim blog is not the place to talk about this. i understand, but this is my largest audience and i feel i would be a fool to not post this somewhere it may be actually received.

tw for mental health talk / long vent under the cut, particularly of the despairing kind, and also mentions of CSA / CSAM, psychosis, and my general disabilities. if this post needs more trigger tags, please let me know and i'll add them.

my whole life i have been treated as if i am not struggling because i can do the bare minimum to keep myself alive. i can survive, but never thrive, and even surviving now has become difficult. i can't feed myself regularly, my guardians do that for me. i can't stand for longer than a few minutes at a time without extreme duress and pain, which makes cleaning, showering, and going out super difficult and beyond draining. i can understand abstract concepts and certain ideas and am emotionally intelligent, but i struggle heavily with understanding money or how government works, particularly when it comes to laws and loopholes. i don't know when i'm "being had", as it were, and others have pointed this out to me throughout my adulthood. it feels as though this entire disability journey has been me "being had". they gave me something to cling on to, the possibility i may be able to receive real help, and it seems as though they basically knew the whole time they were going to deny me again. for the fourth time. i know that is unrealistic but, it does feel that way.

i wrote several full length books when i was a child / young teenager, and had two published. i won't share the titles because i have outgrown what i wrote and find them childish and frankly embarrassing, but everyone upon learning that i have written and had novels published, immediately jumps to the conclusion that i am some kind of self-sufficient, incredibly intelligent and capable person. i have never once been able to effectively take care of myself. without my guardians, i wouldn't be able to manage money, insurance, bills, cars, groceries, among other things. i don't even halfway understand how insurance on anything even works despite having been shown how it works.

i can see something, be "taught" to the best of someone's ability, and i will still not be able to learn. this has been a constant issue throughout my life, and the american public school system has continually helped these issues perpetuate. all schooling has done is teach me how to parrot back concepts and ideas, remember them for a limited amount of time before losing them to the void, and not how to fundamentally understand and learn them or utilize them in daily life. even higher education was like this, and i was not able to thrive throughout my experience with college despite making mostly okay grades (i cheated and lied a lot, okay. i'm not proud of it but i felt i had to get through or i would be severely punished). i had to a sign an agreement that i personally still do not fully understand to "obtain" my associate's degree, and i do not know why despite the fact it was explained to me, in detail. the information has not registered, and i now no longer have anyone that was involved in said agreement to explain it to me. everyone i say this to is like, "what? that doesn't make any sense." and i'm like. yeah. it doesn't, and i have zero ability to explain it to them in a way that makes sense.

i mention my associate's degree because i am sure in some form or fashion it was used against me in the disability process, since i was "able to complete higher education". also it should be noted i did an early college program. also probably has been used against me. also cheated through most of it.

people have always considered my kind of autism to be hyper competent, since it appeared that way when i was a child, despite showing several signs that i was struggling with a math-centric learning disability, called dyscalculia. i have since deteriorated to the point of barely having the knowledge a young adult should have, about how life works financially and honestly in general.

i have extreme fear about what may happen to me without proper assistance. my guardians will be able to take care of me for some time, but after that? that feels like a black hole to me. it doesn't exist nor will it while i am under-assisted, and this black hole fills me with utter despair. i try not to let it permeate my daily life, so as to not dwell in a future that doesn't exist yet and has the possibility for change. but god. it fills me with literal existential dread, and it is becoming so much more difficult to ignore the older i get.

a lot of factors have been used against me my entire life to deny me assistance, and these reasons being yet another factor has really dredged up a lot of shit from my past.

this is besides the point, but i also learned recently that CSAM was made and distributed of me when i was a child and wow. that has hit me in ways i cannot even describe. part of me is like, why was i not allowed to know after the fact, even when i became an adult? i was directly involved. why did no one tell me my abuser was convicted for counts of spreading CSAM, and that they lied directly to the court system about their inappropriate actions with me? i was disenfranchised in more ways than one by more than one person on allowance of my abuser, and i am just now hearing about it. i don't know how to deal and i don't know how to get started with victim advocacy in my area.

but at the same time, whilst being treated as severely more competent than i am, i have also been infantilized relentlessly, by nearly everyone around me. how does this make any sense. i feel incredibly stupid and uninformed and at the same time privy to things about my disabilities others are not, while not being able to effectively communicate it. i feel i am screaming and begging for help, nearly at my wits end with a lot of things, and all of it is reading as "owie booboo" to anyone who could do anything to help. i feel i am falling through the cracks, and i fear having to crawl back up through them. i fear i won't make the trek. i fear i will lose motivation and let myself rot. it feels like no one in a position of power has taken a true effort to really help me and i cannot help or advocate for myself. i am very scared.

on top of all of that stuff, i am withdrawing pretty heavily from cymbalta, experiencing heightened panic attacks every day, PNES (psychogenic non-epileptic seizures), more episodes of psychosis and hallucinating than i'm used to, all of my mental and physical issues are out of control, and now this disability stuff. i also won't be able to see a psychiatrist for...maybe a week or so more, so no bridge meds till then.

these last couple weeks have just really kicked me down. thank you for reading if you got this far. i appreciate you more than you know and i have no idea where i would be without y'all and this blog. i love you all so very much.

-ish

#ish talks #disability #vent #mental health #CSA mention #CSAM mention #physical disability mention #mental disability mention #psychosis mention #hallucination mention #dyscalculia #neurodivergent #autism #victim advocacy #PNES #ableism

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navybrat817 · 2 years

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Is it bad that I want Lloyd to choke me?

Not bad at all, nonnie.

Have a Taste

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Female Reader Summary: Lloyd gets off on the control he has over you, but is he really in control? Word Count: Over 1.1k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, rough oral sex (m. receiving), spitting, possessive behavior, threat of violence, Lloyd Hansen (I feel like his stache should have a warning apart from the man. I want him to look like Andy. 😂) A/N: I don't know. I'm in a mood. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Edit by the beautiful Nix and banners by the lovely @maysdigitalarts .

Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and updates and reblog or comment if you feel inclined. Thank you for reading!

You once asked Lloyd to list his favorite things. He didn't hesitate when he replied "choking you" as number one. Whether it was from his hand against your skin or his cock down your throat, it sent a thrill through him to watch your eyes widen in hesitation each time he used you. If you showed fear, it was because you didn't know when he'd get bored of you. Life in general was meaningless to a man like him, who killed more people than he cared to remember, but your mortality in his hands?

He gets off on being your god.

You get off on letting him think he has control.

There was no soft rocking of his hips as he grabbed the back of your head and pushed his cock to the back of your throat, bringing you back to the present. He hadn’t bothered to undress when he shoved you to your knees minutes ago and released himself from his slacks as he settled in his chair. You squeezed his thigh as you gagged, but he pushed you down further until your nose hit the small bit of curls at the base. He firmly held you in place, smirking as you blinked up at him and tried to breath through your nose.

"You gonna cry for me? Or is your pussy the only thing weeping for me?" he taunted, slapping your cheek twice with his other hand. You didn't register the sting from his palm or ring. Not with his dick constricting your breathing. "Get that look off your face. You can still breathe.”

Your eyes narrowed to slits as he laughed, the action making you take him impossibly deeper. With your nose smothered, you weren't sure how much longer you could stay like that. He surrounded you, his scent, touch, taste, everything. Spots danced in front of your eyes as you smacked his leg twice, a tear sliding down your cheek as he yanked your head back, air flowing back into your lungs.

"Think everyone knows by now you're my slut?" he asked, seizing the opportunity to shove his cock past your lips again when you tried to answer. You spluttered as he leaned back and brought your head with him, forcing you to bob your head up and down. Drool seeped out of the corners of your mouth as you whimpered. "Or should I finish in your face so they see that I own you?"

Wouldn't be the first time you made a mess on my face.

But you both knew he preferred to fill your holes as much as possible

He slid across your tongue with a sigh. "You know. I don't actually like being possessive. Gets complicated when people can hold something over you," he said nonchalantly, as if you weren't there. You did your best to concentrate on the task at hand, fear and arousal pooling in your gut. His indifference was more terrifying than his rage. "But you, pumpkin, I guess you just bring that side out of me. Congratu-fucking-lations.”

It shouldn't make you wet to know that this man, this sociopath, felt possessive of you. But the moment he shot one of his associates who stared at you a little too long, you were lost. Maybe you were a little fucked up, but isn’t that what drew the two of you toward each other in the first place? The jagged pieces of your psyche were too sharp for anyone else.

So were his.

You could cover each other with scars and you’d still crave more.

“Where the fuck are you going? Getting lost in your head again?!” he snapped, gripping both sides of your face as he snapped his hips. “You don’t get to think when I fuck you, cupcake. So suck my cock like you mean it.”

The ease in which he chokes you makes more tears fall. You wonder some days what he sees when he looks at you. Holes to fuck, someone to keep boost his ego. Shame filled you as your panties dampened more, the urge to rub your clit growing with each thrust in your mouth. You didn't dare touch yourself though. He wouldn't break your fingers if you did, but he'd make you wish he had.

"Keep choking yourself on my cock 'til I come down your throat. Thank me when I'm done, you fucking hear me?"

Your eyes rolled back, moaning in encouragement as he thrust his hips faster. He controlled the pace with a groan, your throat burning as he used you. Did he realize that you were using him, too? He thought he was in control because you let him take from you, but your mouth, hands and cunt were the things that made him snap.

You gave him that privilege.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Here it comes. Stay fucking still.”

That’s right, big boy. Lose it. Come for me.

He warned you, but it was still a bit of a shock when he spilled in your mouth. You swallowed some of him down as he grunted, thick, salty and enough to make you choke again. He held you there until he was satisfied, releasing you after a moment so you could sit back on your heels. You sniffled as you wiped your mouth and cheeks with the back of your hand.

I’m still a mess even when he doesn't finish on my face. The bastard doesn't even have a hair out of place.

"Fuck, you're pretty when you cry," he smiled, his muscles flexing under his polo as he leaned forward in his chair. You kept your mouth shut when his hand shot out to grip your chin, your hand snaking up your dress. "Aww, nothing to say? Did I fuck your throat that good?"

Your jaw lowered to show him the remainder of his release you let settle on your tongue.

"I fucking told you to swallow and thank me when-"

He didn't blink as you spit it in his face, exhaling through his nose as he began to tremble in anger. No one else would ever have the balls to do what you just did and you took great satisfaction in that. Hell, he was probably impressed.

Just a little.

"Thank you," you croaked, smiling when he wrapped his hand around your throat.

“You think that’s fucking funny?” he whispered.

Like his indifference, whispering was scarier than his screams.

And you were so fucking turned on. Before he could squeeze, you lifted your hand to show him your gun. You always kept a weapon strapped to your thigh, like he taught you. “Just wanted you to know how it feels. Now let’s see if you choke when I’m drowning you with my pussy.”

*****

So. I just did that. 😇 Thank you for reading!

#navybrat writes #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen imagine #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x you

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dnphobe · 4 months

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Looking at how they've presented themselves over time is always interesting. I think the queer experience of slowly questioning societal and gender norms (and gender, in many cases) is something I recognize in them. Im also curious how Phil's journey is different because he was out to his close ones for a lot longer, and it feels like Dan has more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma that he associated with the label. I loved seeing their support of queer identities even when they were publicly closeted. It's nice that, even if they weren't comfortable being out, they wanted everyone to know they were a safe space

i agree! the different ways they've presented themselves to us over the years is one of my favourite topics to talk about tbh!

dan's journey wrt to gender presentation and how he feels about gender (not gonna theorise on how he identifies bc what do i know, but to quote him he's fine with being viewed as a man but also not offended if people use pronouns/gendered terms outside of that to refer to him) is interesting because he's said he's always been "flamboyant" but tried to hide that in his youtube career for a long time, and he's gone from saying "i can't do it i'm just such a boy" about painting his nails to having them painted more often than not, but also in day in the life of manchester he said he sometimes wishes he was a girl when looking at 'women's clothing', so it's clearly something he's felt for a long time.

i don't think phil necessarily feels the same pull to be gender non-conforming, but it is also something he's struggled with doing (in one of the stereo shows, when talking about the maid dress he wore in VPMO 2, he said that while it was a cheap joke outfit, a few years ago he would not have felt comfortable wearing a dress at all) so that might be something he's still working toward being comfortable with, but at the same time he's never felt shame about telling us things like he likes using raspberry scented body wash or that he does skin care (while when phil mentioned doing skin care dan was clutched by toxic masculinity saying "don't do- i mean that's fine!"

agree with dan having more fun shouting about being gay because of the trauma and i'm so glad he's reached where he is now! phil...i think for a long time he thought he didn't NEED to shout about being gay, especially because like you said he was out to a few people for longer. but i think it's something he realised he DID want to do after coming out to us. as he said in his coming out one year later video he didn't realise how much of himself he was holding back from us by not being out and it feels like a weight off his shoulders now. i think they both love being gay and shouting about being gay and celebrating that with us and im so proud of phil too <3 i actually have a hot take which is i think if it wasn't for dan's coming out he might have never fully come out to us, not just in a "if dan never had he never would have" way, but in a "if he and dan never met he wouldn't have" way, because he IS a private person and didn't think he was missing out on anything.

i am always so glad they made sure we knew they were accepting of us even if they weren't ready to be out. ngl it got kind of rough in like 2012 for me when dan was so adamantly against people thinking he was gay my own internalised homophobia brain went "does he hate gay people?" but that's on me, not him, or more accurately on BOTH of our internalised homophobia situations lmao. but yeah they've always been so sweet about their queer and trans fans, and one thing i personally appreciate so much is how they will use they/them for any fan they don't know the gender of no matter what their name/appearance/voice would make other people assume their gender to be! i feel so safe with them, and im gonna add this bc im still sappy after this weekend, so safe with phannies too <3 i think phannies queer identities and dnp's queer identities have ALWAYS flowed into each other and both sides of the parasocial line have made the other side feel safe and grow into their identities and helped them accept and appreciate other people's identities.

#asks

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deandoesthingstome · 10 months

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Walk with Me - Ch 7

Pairing: FBI Agent!Syverson x OFC, Drug Czar!August Walker x OFC

Chapter Summary: This is it. The warehouse and beyond. The end.

Chapter Warnings: I’ll be real honest, I don’t really want to give anything away here. There’s gonna be some more sex if that interests you. (It’ll be outdoors. What?)

Word Count: 5K

Masterlist: For full series Summary and Warnings

Spotify Playlist: If you’ve followed the playlist, you should know what’s new.

A/N: Super grateful shoutout to @dadralt for helping me with a few French translations. I put the English at the bottom.

A/N 2: I really really appreciate everyone who has read and commented/reblogged this story. I had ideas when I started and those took on a life of their own. I got stuck a little on the way, but I think I figured it out and I hope you like the wrap up.

Francesca

It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. While August was busy looking into his associates to root out a mole, I had made myself available for anything, anytime, no questions asked when he got back from Asia. That also meant ignoring Sy and making sure any information he received came through the agency and the agency only. One incredible night in the arms of the man I had once thought would be the only one I’d ever love. That’s all the sanity I had to hold onto.

As I found myself continuing to slip deeper under August’s spell, I also relished the memory of Sy’s arms wrapped around me, holding me close and safe. On my own, I was reckless and wanton. I’m sure it’s what drew Sy, and most men to me originally. But while most men gave up trying to handle the edge after a while, Sy had always somehow found a way to smooth it out. And that edge only grew sharper the longer I was away from him. It drove men crazy when they couldn’t hold on, most opting to let go rather than risk the deep cuts.

Walter had understood what it took to dull the blade, because he needed a soother too. So while he came to understand he couldn’t offer me respite in his arms, he was there to try to ease every ache I came away with after losing out on love time and again. I envied him for the way he had been able to take each ending as a sign for a new beginning and hold on waiting for what he really needed. I think he could see the damage each heartbreak was doing to me, could tell that the longer I went without a net, the easier it was to embrace fire and danger with no regard for myself. But I don’t think he realized how deep down that hole I was falling. He thought it was just part of the game we played. Instead, this is how I let August in against all my better judgements.

August didn’t fear my sharp edge. He honed it. And until Sy reappeared, I struggled to make sense of why it felt so good to have August keep pushing me, why every time I saw him it felt like I was being forged in his fire. In the haze of the smoke we created together, fueled by drugs and sex and more passion than I’d known in ages, I let myself begin to believe there was a way through that didn’t involve putting him behind bars. Like a fool, I continued to gently broach the subject of just leaving everything behind. I no longer knew if it was still the smokescreen I meant it to be.

I kept Walter appraised, but there had been no new developments from what I had seen. No new security breaches initiated by any number of August’s club girls. No more state secrets passing his way. August apparently had everything he thought he needed to make his next move and he was just looking for the right time. I simply had to wait until Will had the data stripped off the club’s computers and was ready to hand it off. I had been unsuccessful in my previous searches, but Will was a masterful hacker. I just needed the call, but it never came and walking into the warehouse I knew why.

August had figured out Will was CIA. And now I had to hope Will had been able to keep our secret even after everything it was apparent August’s goons had done to him. I couldn’t tell for sure how long he’d been here, but some of the wounds were fresh enough to tell me that while August had been fucking my brains out this afternoon, Will was getting the shit beat out of him. And I hoped his training was just as good as mine and he’d been able to withstand the obvious torture I could see he’d been put through. This was never how this mission was supposed to go.

While August continued to share his credo about not letting anyone hurt him, I rubbed my thumb over the microchip I had pressed against my forefinger. I knew I had what we needed and there was no reason to keep playing this game that had stopped feeling like a game weeks ago. I wanted to rise to my feet, lean in close and whisper to August that we could still run. That I could hide him and maybe we’d be apart for a little while, but in the end I’d be his and he’d be mine and we would be together.

And then I heard the words coming out of his mouth and I knew suddenly how utterly fucked I was. I was about to ruin what was probably the biggest bust of Sy’s life and I was about to end August’s reign. Sy would never forgive me for lying to him and August wouldn’t be around to put me in my place. I’d end up with neither of them.

Like a specter, the voice drifted through my thoughts.

“We’re in position.”

“Take him.” I fought to keep my eyes open. I would not turn away from this mess I had made.

August had barely stopped speaking, head at tilt and eyebrow raised in query at my words when the bullet hit. I watched him fall and barely registered the second round that took Mateo out. I couldn’t really stop the tears if I wanted to. Everything was in shambles around me. Not only was my partner hanging on by a thread, the man I had come to love in some sort of fucked up fantasy where I believed I could save him was dead.

And I had to somehow explain to Sy why I had let him believe he was ever going to have a shot at taking down August.

I heard sirens and shouts from outside the warehouse. Flashing lights flickered through the doorway each time a new body entered the space. Medics were on the scene and Will was getting the attention he needed when Walter found me sunk to the ground on my knees, resisting the urge to crawl to August and take him in my arms one last time. Doubt crept in, as if I’d made the wrong choice and it took everything I had not to let the bile rise up in my throat.

Walter wrapped an official jacket around me and asked if I was alright. I shook my head slowly and I felt him hold me closer. He knew what was coming. I don’t know how he knew. He never once asked if I was falling for August, but somehow he could tell and he knew what I had just done. He knew I would be in my head about this one for a good long time. Longer than any of the others.

“We just need to finalize the report and record your statement. We can do a video now and then you can go. Okay?”

I felt his concerned gaze on me and mustered the strength to nod at his question, still amazed how he looked after me after all these years. We were never going to be together, but that didn’t stop us from caring about and wanting only the best for each other.

We set up in a corner of the warehouse, away from the noise of the agents processing the scene. Before he turned the camera on, I dislodged the molar mic I had installed before leaving the hotel earlier and handed it over. I had already sent in encrypted typed reports and the final video interview was just a recount of the last few days that I hadn’t been able to upload yet. I signed every affidavit he put in front of me, half numb with shock. He put me in the cab to the train station with a gentle press of his hand on the small of my back as he bent to whisper in my ear.

“I’ll get him a message along with the rest of the Miami files. He won’t be hung out to dry. He’ll have everything he needs to make the case against the rest of August’s associates. And he’ll know you're on your way to being okay, too.”

When I looked up at him, I could tell he saw my gratitude, even if I didn’t yet know how to voice it. Even if I still doubted every decision I’d made so far.

“Will?” I managed to whisper.

“Will’s gonna be fine. He has more than a little R&R coming, too. Don’t worry.”

We said a final goodbye and I headed off, ready to try to put this all behind me, starting with a deep detox. I spent weeks in the remote cabin, fully stocked with everything I needed to avoid everyone for as long as I wanted, including a method of emergency contact if things got really bad.

I rocked myself to sleep every night only to enter dreams that turned to nightmares. August leading me down a floral path, only to turn a corner and find myself ensnared in briars and brambles. August preparing a delicious meal only to serve me Will’s head on a platter. August making me come, over and over again, only to find myself ripped apart at the seams.

I dragged myself out of bed every morning, no matter how badly I wanted to curl up in the sheets and just die. I journaled every day and raged at the papers that held my lovelorn tears, my foolish fantasies and ridiculous notions. At night, I burned them in a fire meant to keep me warm, but every bit of me felt cold and lifeless. I took long swims in the crystalline lake and long walks in the woods and prayed that maybe I’d twist an ankle and fall down the mountainside. I longed to be lost and rid of the torture I felt forever.

I could tell my storm was easing when I awoke one morning with the recollection of August morphing into Sy. When the drugs were finally fully out of my system, I sat quietly by the placid water and put all my pieces back in place. August Walker was a drug kingpin who had put an insane amount of product on the street. August Walker was a murderer, who had put his competition out of business permanently. August Walker was a traitor who had bribed politicians and military brass for national secrets that he planned to sell to the highest bidder. August Walker was a monster.

No amount of fucking was ever going to change those facts.

I pushed the button on the SAT phone and waited for Walter to answer while I practiced the speech over and over in my head.

Syverson

Syverson turned off the ignition of the rental car, peered at the number on the house and checked it against the message from Ramos on his phone. He stepped out and made his way up the narrow path to the front door, gravel crunching under his feet. He stood still at the door and paused before knocking, suddenly unsure if he’d made the right decision.

“Ah, fuck it,” he muttered and raised his hand to rap on the wood. In the moments of stillness as he waited for a sound from inside, a shuffle of feet, any tell-tale sign that someone would answer, he took several deep breaths and tried to calm his nerves. It would be the first time seeing her again after months with no communication and he hadn’t exactly been invited by the occupants of the house.

“Comment puis-je vous aider?*” the elderly man asked, peering out the entryway with a perplexed look as if trying to recall who might be scheduled to visit today.

“Mr. Malloy? It’s Dean Syverson, from the States. I’m sorry I don’t speak French. I’m friends with your daughter, Frankie, er Francesca. I was told she was here.”

“Papa, c'est qui?**” a voice called from down the hall and Syverson’s heart almost exploded with elation. He took note of the waver in her voice as she appeared next to her father looking radiant in her summer dress and spoke again. “Sy? What are you…?”

Sy wanted her to burst through the door and wrap her whole body around him so he could slip his arms around her back and hold her close to breath her in. In reality, she froze in place next to her father, though he didn’t imagine the way he saw her stop herself from reaching for him. At the sound of throat clearing, Frankie turned to her father to speak.

“Papa, tu te rappelles de Dean ? Du lycée. À l'époque on l'appelait Sy.***”

Sy watched as the old man seemed to light up with memory and a small smile, then listened to a conversation between father and daughter that he couldn’t understand. Frankie’s father reached out to shake his hand with a wink, then turned to head back into the front room.

“Wanna take a walk with me?” Frankie asked, motioning down the path. “Or I could invite you in and we could do the pleasantries of small talk over cold lemonade and cookies I baked the other day?”

“You bake?” Sy asked with a chuckle.

“Been goin’ through all of Mom’s old recipes. It’s therapeutic in more ways than one. And sorry about that. Dad’s kinda given up on English, especially now that she’s passed,” Frankie answered and watched Sy’s face fall a little, eyebrows furrowed and head atilt.

“Well now I’m the one that’s sorry. I didn’t know about your Mom.”

“Thank you. It happened just before my last mission. I hated leaving but I promised him we’d spend time together once I was done with work.” She gave a quick glance back into the house.

Sy heaved a breath in and out. “Let’s walk.”

He waited for Frankie to close the front door and let her lead the way as they stepped back onto the gravel path and followed it around to the back of the house and down into the large, lush garden where she motioned to a stone bench facing a pond.

“I feel like I know this answer, because I doubt you’d be here if you did, but I have to ask: Do you hate me?” Frankie asked, turning to him with a look of concern on her face.

“Sugar I could never hate you,” Sy answered immediately without any hesitation. “Couldn’t for the life of me figure out why you shut off all communication and never came back, though. Marshall wasn’t exactly forthcoming either.”

“Did they at least tell you about...? About the case?” Frankie asked, unwilling to voice the name just yet.

“You mean the part where no one was ever gonna let him take the stand?” Frankie nodded at Sy’s question. “Yeah. Said if he had an opportunity to implicate any of the people he’d bribed information from, national security was fucked. Sure. Apparently, all those other traitors had guardian angels sitting on their shoulders. The number of retirement announcements from the military and congress was staggering. Is that why you didn’t come back?”

“Are you asking if it made me sick to my stomach? That August Walker took the fall for all of them? I guess that’s part of it for sure, yeah.”

“Fuck, Sugar. You really were in deep with him.”

“I was blind, Sy. I wasn’t not doing my job but I let a lot of things get in the way of reality and when I found out they were all getting off the hook I couldn’t stomach it anymore.”

Frankie turned to stare out over the water while Sy took a moment to ponder her words and consider if he really wanted the answer to his next question. It could make all the difference to the end result of his impromptu visit. But if he didn’t ask, he’d never know and if somehow things worked out between them, the possibility would hang over his head forever.

“Did you love him?”

He watched her slow-blink her eyes closed, inhale and let out a deep sigh. He felt the bottom begin to drop from underneath him, afraid now of her answer and what it would mean. He wanted to reach out and grab the words back, stuff them down his throat and never let them out again. He swore to whatever god would listen that if she would just come home with him when this conversation was over, he’d never give August Walker another thought. When she spoke, he almost couldn’t hear her answer, the way the blood from his beating heart rushed passed his ears.

“Not really.” Frankie turned back to Sy and opened her eyes. As her voice trickled through the dense fog of his worry, he could at least see the promise in what she was saying. “For a while I thought I did. It took me time to figure out that I just loved the way he made me feel. Alive and reckless with no one to answer to but someone who only loved me for the person they thought I was.”

“And who are you, Frankie?”

“I’m figuring that out now, Sy. That’s the other part of why I couldn’t come back. I didn’t want to step back into whatever it was we had started again without a better understanding of what my life means now. And what that means for whoever is going to be a part of it.”

“What do you mean ‘whoever’, Sugar?” Sy asked, struggling to hide the emotion her words had stirred within him. He was certain she couldn’t possibly think he wasn’t the one even as he realized how little time they’d actually had together. It killed him to think she might not give him a chance to prove how much he wanted to give her everything.

“I don't want someone afraid of losing me,” Frankie replied.

“I already did. I ain't afraid of it anymore. Just don't want to ever feel it again.” Sy watched her face carefully, searching for any sign that she didn’t understand exactly what he was saying. Just to make sure, he spoke again. “I ain’t looking to change you, Frankie. I ain’t looking to stop you from being whoever you want to be. I just wanna be there with you for as long as I can. If that’s okay.”

“Fuck, where did you come from?” Frankie asked after considering his words and smiled at his comfortable laugh.

“Frankie, it’s always been you for me. Who you are now? She ain’t really all that different from that wildcat I fell in love with twenty years ago. I love every fuckin’ thing about you.” Sy saw the doubt creep on her face. “Yeah, Sugar, all of it. You are a strong, self-aware woman who ain’t afraid to take what she needs. I count myself lucky you ain’t never found someone else interested in all of that and if I don’t get you to let me kiss you right now to show you what I’m talking about, well this whole trip’s probably been for naught.”

Sy lifted a hand to brush his fingers past her shoulder and smooth up the side of her neck, pressing the tips into her nape and applying the gentlest of pressure, waiting for her to make up her mind and lean into him. When she finally did, her lips crashed into his and he felt gravity flip as he grabbed on to her with his other arm and pulled her all the way against him. He slid his hand down to her hip and urged her to lift a leg and spin to straddle him so he could feel her weight and know she was real.

Sy smoothed both hands up her back as he held her close and kissed her deep, parting her lips with his tongue and licking into the space she made for him while she did the same. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to stop if they kept kissing for much longer, he raised his hands to tangle in her hair and pull her head from his as he cleared his throat and spoke low.

“Sorry, that’s more than I thought I’d get from you at the moment. I doubt your dad or the neighbors wanna see what else I’d like to do to you right now.”

“There are no neighbors nearby, Sy. And Dad doesn’t spend time in the back of the house.”

Sy couldn’t help himself from stiffening at the thought and raised an eyebrow in question. He grew even harder as he watched Frankie bite her bottom lip and nod as she ran her hands down his chest landing at the clasp of his slacks. She unhooked the waistband and slid the zipper down agonizingly slowly before reaching in to grab his aching cock and push his boxers down enough so that he was free and could feel her touch on his burning skin.

He dropped his hands to her thighs, smoothing the thin fabric up her legs and sweeping his fingers over her ass cheeks while she stroked him lazily and bent to return to the kiss. His hands found the strings of her thong and he slipped a thumb under the back so he could grab hold and tug up, applying pressure to her clit. Frankie moaned into his mouth and arched her back into the sensation.

Sy pulled the flimsy material to the side and reached his hand further down and under her ass so he could just feel the wetness as he brushed his fingers against the delicate lips he could barely reach. He only realized how much he was also loving the way her hand squeezed and pulled him when she stopped suddenly and he broke the kiss to see what could be wrong. Instead of disaster, he was met with her mischievous eyes as she wiggled the hand that had previously been making him feel so good under her skirt while her other hand pulled the material back so he could see exactly what she was doing.

He groaned and watched rapt as Frankie slid her fingers inside her underwear and into her cunt. She pressed deep and moved around before she pulled them back out glistening with her own juices. And just like that he was in heaven again as she smeared her slick all over his cock and bent to whisper in his ear.

“Fuck me, Sy.”

“Gladly.” Sy eased her thong to the side down her thigh as she pressed her feet into the earth beneath them to lift up and settle herself back down his length with a luxurious sigh. She had barely engulfed him completely before he began to squeeze his ass to pump his hips into her with fervor.

With her hands on Sy’s shoulders, Frankie used the leverage to lift and lower herself on him in tandem with his thrusts, as he delved deeper and deeper. He felt every squeeze of her walls around him and swallowed her cries of pleasure as the head of his engorged member brushed her cervix again and again.

Sy wanted to put his hands on her body, on her skin. He thought about lifting her dress up and over her head, but settled on simply wrapping an arm around her waist and sliding the other up her back so he could manipulate her movements to make sure they were both feeling as good as they could. He wanted this to last forever, but seeing her now, hearing her moan above him for the first time in months knowing the last time he saw her he was making her come too caused a rush of sensation to course through his body. He pulled away from their kiss again.

“I ain’t gonna last Sugar, not like this.”

“I need you to hang on a little bit longer, Sy. Please,” Frankie begged him, grinding her hips a few more times before she did the unthinkable. After easing herself off him, she pulled her dress off exactly the way Sy had just wanted to. She dropped it to the grass and then sank to her knees and finally her back with the dress as a makeshift blanket. She reached out for him and he tumbled forward off the bench and between her open legs, pressing a kiss to her lips as he palmed a breast.

His lips moved over her chin and throat as he began to ease his way down her body, pulling her tiny thong along with him and pushing it off her legs. He took a few moments to push his own shoes and pants off as well pull his shirt over his head and now just as naked as Frankie, Sy positioned himself between her legs, shoulders spreading her wide so he could get a good long look at her puffy, pink pussy dripping and waiting for him.

“Not sure I’m gonna last long this way either, but we’ll give it a try,” he teased before putting his mouth on her. He nipped at her clit and rubbed his forefingers along her slit, easing in and out with a tease she whimpered for. When he heard her beg with a “please” he slid his fingers all the way in and licked around them. Sy pumped and pressed the palm of his hand against her mound for a moment before he pulled his hand all the way out and let his tongue do the rest of the work.

He felt his cock rub against the fabric of her dress as he rutted against the ground and fought to stem the growing pressure.

“So fucking turned on eating you out like this, Frankie,” he groaned into her cunt before returning to the job. Frankie held his head in place, grinding up against him. When she came in a rush of heat and wet, Sy took the opportunity to crawl back up and slip his dick inside her, thrusting and pumping with vigor. He grazed his fingers up the side of her body and then watched as she grabbed his hand and moved it to her throat, pressing just a little.

“Just hold still right there,” she gasped. “Fuck me and I’ll do the rest.”

Sy grunted in pleasure at the thought and did as he was instructed. He felt Frankie lean up into his hand. All the effort it took to keep his hand precisely still for her meant his attention wasn’t on how good she felt around him as he pumped in and out. Where he thought he’d need just a few more strokes, Sy now felt the time slip by as she moved into his hand and back out again, playing with her own breath for him. When he finally felt her tighten around him, he wasn’t prepared for how fast his own release came as well. He was so caught up in the way she maneuvered that he hadn’t noticed the build at all.

They lay naked on the grass next to each other, catching their breath with hands on their chests, waiting until the pounding of their hearts had resided before turning to face one another.

“You sure no one could see us?”

“Would you hate me if I said no?” Frankie teased before leaning over for a kiss to taste herself on his lips. “Kidding. No one can see us. Even if Dad ventured back to the kitchen, where he never likes to go anymore, there are enough trees and bushes in the garden to obscure this view. Our closest neighbors are a couple kilometers away. Your virtue is safe, promise.”

“Funny.” Sy rolled her on her back and kissed her long and deep again before settling along her side, drawing lazy lines along her skin. “You know I didn’t know what to expect when I saw you again. I’m real glad how this has turned out so far.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you in limbo forever, I swear. I just needed to get my head on straight.” Frankie sat up and reached for Sy’s pants, handing them to him and motioning to her own dress below.

“Did I fuck up your timeline?” Sy asked, plucking his shirt off the ground next. He stuck his arms through the sleeves and tucked his thumbs in the neck hole to pull the shirt over his head, elbows wide, before checking around for his shoes.

“I’ll recover, I’m sure.” Frankie slipped the dress back on and did her own sweep of the lawn, looking for her panties.

“I got those, Sugar,” Sy grinned, making a show of tucking the small bundle into his pocket. “Safe keeping till you come back home.”

Frankie reached up to run her fingers through Sy’s hair, brushing a few stray pieces of grass from his locks and let him do the same for her before pulling him in for more kisses. She broke away reluctantly and hooked her arm through his to lead the way back up to the house.

“I honestly haven’t decided when that’ll be, Sy.”

“I’m pretty good at waiting for you if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Or if I ever will.”

Sy stopped short and turned her to him.

“I wondered about that. Not for my own selfish reasons, mind you. But I got to thinking about some of the things you told me over dinner that night. About having a safety net of sorts. This is a nice place.”

“I also told you I liked being useful…but you’re not wrong. It’s been a long time since I took care of myself.”

“Or let someone take care of you?”

“Sy…”

“I ain’t talking about keeping you under wraps, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, Sugar. I just mean, you don’t need to go it alone. Look, you are free to make your own decisions about going back to the agency, finding something else to do, or quitting altogether. But I wanna be with you, Frankie. Wherever that is. If you wanna stay here, I’ll let you know right now that if you’ll have me, I’m ready to leave it all behind, too.”

“You’d walk away with me, Sy?”

“I would.“

Translations of the French *,**,**:

* “How can I help you?”

** “Papa, who is it?”

*** “Papa, you remember Dean? From high school. We called him Sy back then.”

Taglists

Everything Henry: @sillyrabbit81 @kittenofdoomage @mayloma @kebabgirl67 @fvckinghenrycavill @geralts-yenn @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @thesaucynomad @just-chirpin @henryownsme

Walk with Me only (I added you if you reblogged or asked and Tumblr would let me): @kingliam2019 @valacircareads @sofiebstar @cardierreh15 @firstcashheroathlete @ylva-syverson @sunriserose1023 @cavilladdict @angreav @ellethespaceunicorn @mis-lil-red @peaches1958 @xhoneyxbeex @livisss @hangmanscoming

#henry cavill fanfiction #syverson fanfiction #august walker fanfiction #syverson #august walker #fbi agent!syverson x ofc #drug czar!august walker x ofc #syverson au #august walker au #henry cavill #walk with me #mine #deandoesthingstome

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lurkinglurkerwholurks · 7 months

Text

It Wasn't Real (But We Were Happy)

First posted: June 6 2018

Focuses on: Tim Drake and the Fam

Favorite bookmark: "I was clutching my face for the last two chapters."

Second favorite bookmark: "Do you want to cry?"

Tier: Top five in hits and subscriptions, top ten in everything else

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above.

This is a multi-chapter series, so this thread will be reblogged with each chapter's thoughts added beneath the cut.

Chapter One

This is one of the rare fics where I can remember exactly what was happening when it sprang into being. Mostly. I was walking home on evening, post-rain, and skirting around puddles while texting with @starknjarvis27. I don't remember what started the conversation but suddenly I was knee-deep in emotions about Tim as The Replacement, Tim as Nanny McPhee ("When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay. When you want me but no longer need me, then I have to go."), Tim as Mary Poppins (That's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye?" "No, they didn't.")

I don't think I started writing directly after that, though I may have. I do know I deliberately banked up the chapters and didn't post the first until they were all written. I was worried about losing steam and not finishing. Given how popular this fic is, maybe I should do that more often.

The title is from Dear Evan Hansen (it was 2018, give me a break), from the song "Words Fail," where the main character emotionally confesses the elaborate deception he had built, ensnaring the people he professed to love in a fantasy that he said was for them but really, in the end, was only for himself.

It was said that time was the great equalizer, but Tim didn’t know how that could be true. Time seemed to touch everyone differently, and everyone grappled with it in their own way.

As you've probably noticed, I do this kind of a lot. "It" being both a philosophical beginning and lining up each of the fam and examining what makes them different in certain ways. Both are a good way (for me, the writer, at least) to ease into a fic. Starting is hard.

Dick bobbed in its streams like a vacationer in a tube. He let it carry him along, neither struggling nor straining, but enjoying the ride wherever its path led. Jason floundered, striding through the water until his steps inevitably found the gap of his stolen life. He would lose his footing and plunge under, only to burst above the current with great, heaving breaths and push on determinedly once more.

Again with the water metaphors. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. I'll also add that this is, of course, Tim's perspective. He's not wrong, but Dick, for example, would likely have a nuanced take of his own relationship with time (that also would not necessarily being objectively right or wrong because perception is subjective, even of ourselves.)

A good many endings surprised him, horrified him, came whistling out at him like fists in the dark.

I think I use this metaphor more than once in fics. Mentally I tie it to "A Knife in the Dark," the Bree chapter title in The Fellowship of the Ring and later the song title from the Howard Shore soundtrack for the same scene. The whole point is wildly different, but the mental association is there for me, whatcanyado.

But it was only their timing that caught him off guard, never their existence, like turning the crank on a silenced jack-in-the-box. Without the music, he could only guess when the pop and cackle would come, but he knew the lurch in his stomach was inevitable.

My sister was scared of jack-in-the-boxes as a kid/young adult, like Buddy the Elf, so I stole this from her and him.

Alfred would have noticed, had he been around, but timing his exodus to Alfred’s annual sabbatical in England had been Tim’s one act of true cowardice. Alfred would have noticed Tim’s abandonment of the Manor and would have lured him back in with calls or threatening visits from the others or the sheer guilt power of a raised eyebrow.

I think if I were a stronger or braver writer it would have been a good challenge to keep Alfred present rather than shooing him off to England like Superman to space.

No, the hardest task had been quitting the Titans. They didn’t need Tim any more than the Waynes did, but they wanted him. They were his friends. Tim couldn’t see any way to continue with the Titans, however.

Commenters speculated on the Titans showing up. I hope they weren't too disappointed when that didn't happen but I do not know those children at all. And they weren't the point, anyways. The point was Tim and his family.

#fanfic bts brain dump #fanfic #tim drake #batfam #batfic

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pedroscurls · 1 year

Text

Title: The Teacher (Part 7).

CHAPTER TITLE: Confessions

Character(s): Joel Miller, Reader (female, first person POV), Tommy Miller, Maria Miller Summary: You and Joel delve deeper into your relationship, talking about each other’s past despite how difficult it may be. Word Count: 3,908 Author's Note: We’re diving deeper into the Reader’s past a bit, so be warned. There are some implied violence, rape, killing, and death. Thank you to everyone who has read this story, who have left comments... It really means a lot! Warning: Mentions of implied rape, killing, death.

A week passed and yet, you hadn’t heard from Tommy or Maria about your plan to go to the school. While you were eager to get outside these walls, you were also patient enough to let the couple come to you. You knew this wasn’t something to be rushed, especially if you were very persistent in being the one to explore the area.

While teaching was different in this new world, it still was such a rewarding experience. It wasn’t the same where each student had a certain curriculum that they needed to learn in order to move onto the next grade, but you did make sure to teach the kids about the old world. Maybe it was useless to be teaching them things that no longer mattered, but it did give you a sense of accomplishment to see your students so engaged with the things of the past.

It gave them an escape of their reality, of the world they now lived and grew up in. You couldn’t imagine growing up in a world like this, so you always made sure to give your students a glimpse of what the old world was like; it deviated their attention from the real threats of the world.

Ellie had joined you quite a few times, helping you with your students and even participating when it came to art sessions. She was talented, but still so very shy about it. It was quite ironic actually. Ellie was always so very vocal, but when it came to her drawings, she was timid, not yet ready for the entire world to see, no matter how much you told her how amazing they were. During art, you had asked Ellie to lead the sessions, seeing her light up with joy and excitement as she helped the other kids use their imagination; it was something you looked forward to everyday. Not only because you loved teaching, but because you also enjoyed spending time with Ellie.

Today, on the other hand, was no different. She wanted the kids to explore their imagination, thinking and drawing the first thing that came to mind with an association to the color blue. You never told her how to teach or run the art sessions, but Ellie knew just exactly what to do to keep the kids engaged. It was like she was a natural, meant to be a leader.

“So, what are you drawing?” You asked, gently nudging her with your elbow.

Ellie looked up at you with a grin. “I’m imagining water, a beach, oh! California.”

You smiled. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

“Eh,” she said with a shrug.

“You are and I really appreciate you being here with me, helping out with the kids. I think this is the best part of their day.”

Ellie smiled to herself. It made her feel a sense of purpose. “It’s the best part of mine.”

“Oh, you sure about that?”

Ellie blushed, moving her eyes back to her drawing. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re telling me that Cat…”

Ellie immediately widened her eyes, urging you to stay quiet. “We’re just friends. She’s gonna give me a tattoo soon and so, we’ve just been talking about what I want. That’s all.”

You smiled, nodding your head. You didn’t want to push any further, especially since the topic of her scar was still so very sensitive to the younger girl. “Okay,” you said. “Just know either way, I care about you.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get all sappy on me.”

You laughed quietly. “I just want to extend my appreciation, that’s all.”

Ellie looked up at you, letting a small smile line her lips. She never did get to know her parents, but having Joel and now having you in her life, it gave her a glimpse of what it would have been like if her parents were still alive. It felt… Nice.

“Can I get back to my drawing?” Ellie teased.

“Okay, fine,” you smiled. “But can I see it when you’re done?”

She nodded instantly. “You know you’re the only one I feel comfortable enough showing my drawings, so of course.”

Once school was finished, you made sure that every student was picked up by a family member before deciding to clean up. You figured Joel would be back from his patrol by now and it caused a bit of excitement to know that you would be seeing him soon. It still felt surreal at times, knowing that you were safe within the walls of Jackson, experiencing love and happiness all over again… You had thought that you wouldn’t get a second chance at a life like this and it still scared you from time to time.

You were putting away the books on the shelves when you heard someone clear their throat, trying to get your attention. You looked over your shoulder, seeing Joel lean against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smile lining his lips.

“Hey, darlin’.”

You felt butterflies almost instantly. You didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing him call you that.

“Hey,” you smiled.

Joel walked over to you, bending down with a quiet grunt to help you put away the rest of the books. “You have a good day?”

You nodded. “Always.”

Joel smiled, looking over at you. When you stood, he followed, taking your hand and pulling you into a hug. “Missed you.”

“Me too,” you smiled, burying your face against him. Maybe it was still the honeymoon phase, but you and Joel couldn’t get enough of each other. You didn’t mind though, Joel was a very attentive partner. You were both so focused on learning what the other liked that you hadn’t really talked about your past and it was gnawing at you, wanting him to know everything about your life before Jackson.

“Ellie’s over at Cat’s, saying somethin’ about having dinner over there tonight.” Joel said, pulling away from you.

“Oh okay, so it’s just me and you tonight then?”

“Yeah,” he said, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours almost immediately. “I was thinkin’ we can grab some food at the pub with Maria and Tommy.”

You nodded, “That sounds good to me.” Excitement filled you almost instantly. Maybe you would get a chance to discuss your plan with Maria and Tommy.

Joel arched a brow, tilting his head as he stared at you. “No work talk.”

“But–”

Joel chuckled, stepping up to you and pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. “No work talk.”

You let out a sigh, nodding in agreement. “Okay, okay.”

Joel let you go, watching you with amusement as you continued to clean throughout the room. Once you finished, you flashed him a smile and thumbs up. “All ready to go.”

He took your hand, pulling you to his side and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You leaned against him, leading him out of the school as you locked it behind you. You took comfort in Joel’s warmth, nuzzling further into him. He looked down at you with a smile, holding you closer.

Once inside the pub, you noticed Tommy and Maria sitting at a table, waving in your direction. You smiled, walking over to the couple and taking a seat across from Tommy as Joel sat across Maria. It was crazy to think that almost two months ago, you were on the brink of your death and now, here you were with the people that you had grown to care about.

“What ya drinkin’?” Tommy asked both you and Joel.

“A beer for me,” you replied.

Joel nodded. “I’ll come with you,” he told his younger brother. Joel then turned his attention to you, kissing your cheek lightly. “Want anythin’ in particular?”

“I’ll get what you get,” you smiled.

Joel and Tommy stood from the table, walking towards the bar to place their orders. This gave you a chance to talk with Maria alone and she could tell from the look on your face that you were going to ask her about the abandoned school.

“Joel’s been vouching for you,” she said, beating you to the punch.

“What do you mean?”

“He and Tommy have been discussing it,” she replied. “But, Tommy and I are willing to let you go as long as Joel is there.”

“You know I don’t need a babysitter,” you began. “But I think that’s fair. Joel is my safe place,” you blurted, blushing instantly as you glanced over at her. “What I mean is that–”

Maria chuckled. “Ain’t nothing wrong with that. How are you two doing by the way?”

You let out a contented sigh. “Really good, but you know how new relationships are… Joined at the hip in the beginning.”

“Well, you look really happy and so does he,” she pointed out.

—

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you,” Tommy laughed, leaning against the bar after both men placed their order. He glanced over at the table, watching you and Maria talk before he turned his attention back to his brother.

Joel shrugged. “She makes me really happy, Tommy.”

“Oh, we can all see that,” he smiled. “It’s nice, y’know. You deserve it.”

“Somethin’ has been botherin’ me though.”

“What’s that?”

Joel sighed, dropping his eyes. “I still feel like I don’t know her, not completely. And she still don’t know about–”

“Don’t rush it,” Tommy interrupted. “Somethin’ tells me she’s fine with how things are going.”

“But what if she wants more and I can’t give it to her yet?” Joel asked. “I ain’t sure if I’m ready to talk about her.”

“Then don’t, not until you’re ready.”

Joel sighed. “I just– I don’t wanna mess this up.”

“You ain’t.” Tommy chuckled. “Since when did you worry so much?”

Joel scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I ain’t worried.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“Dunno”

Tommy smiled. “What could go wrong, Joel? You can’t control everythin’, y’know.” He clasped a hand over his brother’s shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before the bartender called their names out to retrieve their drinks and food. “Listen, how about you just talk to her? Tell her what’s on your mind.”

“And if it don’t work out?”

“Then she ain’t the one,” he said simply. “But somethin’ tells me that she is.”

Joel shrugged, grabbing the tray of food and drinks as he walked with Tommy back to the table. “Still too early to tell,” Joel replied.

“You’re in denial, big brother.”

Joel knew that he was falling for you, but he certainly didn’t want to scare you, especially since neither of you have yet to talk about each other’s past. Both men set the food and drinks on the table and Joel felt you lean against him, your hand moving to rest on his thigh.

He smiled to himself, kissing your temple. “Got you a burger, that okay?”

You smiled, nodding. “Thank you, Joel.”

Throughout dinner, the four of you shared plenty of smiles and laughter. Everyday this place continued to feel like home and being around the people you had grown to care about was just perfect. After you finished your food, you rested your head against Joel who had his arm draped at the back of your chair.

However, all of your attention was averted when you heard two people yelling and cursing at each other. Within seconds, a fight broke out and Joel and Tommy stood immediately to break it up. Maria walked over to them, looking at the two men who were now separated. She said something to the both of them, causing them both to pull away from Joel and Tommy. You were distracted though. One of the men had glanced around the room, his eyes falling on you and giving you a wink.

Immediately, you felt uncomfortable and your hands turned into fists. Joel saw this and grabbed the man by his shirt, pushing him against the bar.

“Joel,” Tommy said. “Let him go.”

Joel stared at the other man, his grip on his shirt tightening as he felt himself delve further into the pit of anger and frustration. “You don’t look at her,” he said threateningly. “Ya hear me?”

“She’s not your property,” the other man laughed, obviously having had too much to drink. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”

And that was all it took for Joel to repeatedly ram his fist into the other man’s face. He lost it. Joel had no control over what he was feeling at the moment, feeling his knuckles split open with each hit. It was Tommy who pulled him away and off the other man, who still was laughing through the pain and blood that now covered his face.

“Fucking psycho,” he mumbled, standing up with Maria’s help. “I was just joking, shit.”

Maria looked over at Joel and Tommy, pointing towards the door. “You need to calm him down. I got this one.”

Tommy nodded, grabbing Joel by his arm and bringing him outside towards the back of the pub. You stood from the table, following both men quietly. Maria gave you a single nod before she turned to the other man.

“Are you crazy?” Tommy exclaimed, pushing Joel through the doors. “What in the hell were you thinkin’?”

Joel shook his head, looking down at his right hand. “He made her feel uncomfortable.”

“And so, you decided to take matters into your own hands, that it? What the fuck, Joel! You can’t just lose your shit like that.”

Joel sighed. He knew Tommy was right and he didn’t know what had gotten into him. Maybe it was the look of fear in your eyes or the fact that your expression had changed so quickly when the other man was talking to you. He didn’t like it. He wanted you to feel safe and so Joel did what he did best: take away the threat.

“M’sorry,” he mumbled. “I just–”

Tommy sighed. “I know you care about her, Joel, but you can’t…” He ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. “You can’t just do that.”

“I know,” Joel replied. “I know.”

Before Tommy could say anything, you stepped outside and both men looked in your direction. Joel immediately gave you an apologetic look whereas Tommy let out a heavy sigh.

“Make sure he gets home?” Tommy said.

“Of course.”

Tommy looked over at Joel and sighed. “I love you, big brother, but you gotta get a lid on that.”

“I know. I’m workin’ on it.”

—

You were back at Joel’s house, sitting at the edge of his bed as you tended to his hand, cleaning up the blood and cuts. You hadn’t said a word and Joel was worried; you hadn’t ever seen that side of him and he didn’t know what to say. He was feeling things he hadn’t felt in so long; it was almost as if he didn’t know how to act.

“That wasn’t very smart of you,” you finally said.

Joel sighed. “I know.”

“I don’t need saving,” you replied. “I can handle my own.”

“I know, darlin’,” he repeated. “You just– You looked so scared, like that one night…”

You bit your lower lip. Joel needed to know your past, needed to know every single thing you did to survive because it was haunting you, keeping you up most nights whenever you weren’t with him. He really was a good distraction from the nightmares, but whenever he was gone, it always came back.

“I’ve been–” you sighed heavily. “I haven’t been completely open with you and I’m sorry.”

Joel shook his head immediately, his eyes softening. “What? No, you ain’t gotta–”

“Joel, just let me, okay?”

He nodded.

You avoided his eyes, continuing to clean his hand even after it was all cleaned up. Joel noticed this and gently pulled his hand from you, causing you to look up at him with slightly teary eyes.

“Whenever I’m not with you, I struggle,” you began. “I struggle with so many nagging thoughts that haunt me every second of the day.”

Joel bit his lower lip. He knew exactly what you meant, but instead of replying, he nodded and listened intently to you.

“Most men terrify me,” you admitted. “Before Jackson, if a man looked at me funny or if they said something that just didn’t sit right with me, I would–” Your breath hitched, looking away from him. “I stopped it before it could ever get to that point.”

“By stopping, you mean…”

You nodded. “Yeah.” Neither of you needed to say it; he knew exactly what you meant. “I had to,” you continued. “The last time I gave someone the benefit of the doubt, I paid for it.”

Joel tightened his jaw. “M’sorry, darlin’.”

“It haunts me every night. I wonder if it’ll ever go away, you know?”

“I can’t say that it ever does,” Joel commented.

“Sometimes, it still feels like this is all a dream and I’m gonna wake up back in that community,” you whispered. “A community that used women to– to…”

Joel shook his head, pulling you into his arms instantly. “Darlin’...”

You took comfort in his arms, leaning against him as you felt tears slowly trickle down your face. “Killing that man was the most satisfying thing I have ever done,” you admitted. “What does that say about me?”

Joel bit the inside of his cheek. It was so crazy to him at how you both had so much in common, the new world changing both of you entirely. “You suffered and you did what you had to, to end that sufferin’.”

“I’m scared that sometimes I don’t know what I’m capable of,” you said, looking up at him. “That sometimes, I just see red and there’s no stopping me.”

Joel was getting to know more and more about you and while he hadn’t seen what you were capable of in terms of combat, he was so certain that you were so capable of taking care of yourself. You managed to survive this long and Joel was now gaining a better understanding of how that was possible.

“That’s how I felt,” Joel admitted. “At the pub earlier.”

“We both knew he wasn’t going to do anything and yet, I was still scared…”

“And I wanted to take that fear away,” Joel added. “Wanted to protect you, keep you safe, and–”

You looked up at him, pecking his lips gently to interrupt him. The feeling was mutual. You wrapped your arms around him, falling back into his bed. He sighed contentedly, glancing down at you.

“Tell me something about before,” you whispered. “A good memory. A happy memory.”

Joel cleared his throat. All he could think about was Sarah and he just wasn’t yet ready to talk about it. He just shrugged and looked down at you. “How about you tell me a good memory of yours, darlin’?”

“I just feel like I’m talking too much…”

“I like hearing you talk,” he reassured. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know.”

You bit your lower lip, nodding. “I had two younger brothers,” you smiled sadly. “Being the oldest is a lot of responsibility.”

Joel chuckled. “You’re preachin’ to the choir, darlin’.”

“But my brothers… They were so good, you know?” You smiled to yourself, memories of your childhood flashing in your mind. “I had an amazing childhood. I always hoped for a love like my parents,” you said, tears once more filling your eyes. “Married for twenty plus years and still so deeply in love, literally like they were teenagers.”

“And your husband?” Joel whispered quietly.

“I found that with him, yeah,” you said. “Most people say their life changed when the world ended… Mine ended when my husband died. It just– It wasn’t the same, you know?”

Oh, Joel knew all too well about losing a loved one. No amount of time would ease the pain.

“And your brothers? Your parents?” Joel asked carefully. “Y’know, on outbreak day…”

“I traveled to California immediately. It took me so long to get there,” you bit your lower lip, looking up at him. “They were gone… The bombings hit our home and–”

You felt a sudden overwhelming amount of emotion rush over you and you buried your face against him, crying quietly. You hadn’t talked about your family in so long and the pain still felt as fresh and as new as it did when you first realized that they were gone.

“M’sorry,” he whispered, holding you so tight that he never wanted to let you go.

“Everything was gone…” your body was trembling and his shirt was soaked with your tears. “Part of me wishes it was me instead, you know? Like why me? Why do I get to survive and they don’t?”

Joel didn’t know the answer to that. He battled with that himself when it came to the night of Sarah’s death. How come the bullet hit her and not him? How come Tess got bit and not him? He had lost so many people along the way and he never understood what he did to deserve to still be alive.

“Tommy and I– We’re from Texas,” Joel said quietly, watching as you looked up at him. He felt his heart break at the sight of you, bringing his hand up to wipe away your fallen tears. “We were carpenters, didn’t have the best childhood, but we worked with what we had.”

Now, it was your turn to listen. You could see that there was something that Joel wanted to say, but couldn’t. You didn’t pry, didn’t push him to tell you things he wasn’t ready to tell you, so instead, you just listened.

“I’ve done a lot of things since the world ended,” Joel continued. “And I always wonder the same thing… What did I do to deserve to still be here?”

“I’m glad you’re here,” you whispered quietly, biting your lower lip.

“And m’glad you’re here too, darlin’.”

“I guess Maria was right,” you said. “Things happen for a reason and her finding me, saving me and bringing me back to Jackson… It was all supposed to happen.”

“You believe in fate?” Joel asked.

“I do,” you admitted. “Fate brought me to you.”

Joel smiled. If only you could see the blush on his cheeks. He was taken off guard and it made him feel good. You made him feel good, even after knowing the things he used to do before Jackson, even after you witnessed him losing his shit at the pub…

You still wanted him and it made Joel feel a sense of purpose. It made him feel like he could be redeemed of the things he had done.

But you didn’t know all of it.

You didn’t know about Sarah.

You didn’t know about Ellie.

And you certainly didn’t know about what he had done at the hospital, killing all those people to save Ellie.

Part of him wanted to tell you, but another part of him wanted to keep it a secret. He didn’t know how you were going to react, if you would still look at him the way you were now… He didn’t want your view of him to change.

So, Joel decided that he wasn’t yet ready to delve deeper into his past.

He was fine with the way things were right now.

And he certainly didn’t want anything to change.

---

Part 8.

Taglist (let me know if you'd like to be tagged!): @rye-flower, @3zae-zae3, @orangevtae, @flippittygibbitts, @blairfox04, @ohthemisssery, @avengersfan25, @somebodytookmyusername, @littleshadow17, @beltzboys2015-blog, @swimmjacket, @corpsebridenightamare, @thelightnessofthebeing, @dorck26, @ashlynn-crayons, @sexytholland, @surazim, @cedricbitch, @cali-ko, @lasthongos, @impala1967666, @sana-li, @coldheartedmar

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #tlou #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #joel x reader #joel miller x reader #story: the teacher

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torchlitinthedesert · 7 months

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Transcript under the cut.

Paul

"Life had just started to get a bit messy when Linda became pregnant with Mary. Allen Klein [the American business manager] was involved iwtht he Beatles and, over the year, things seemed to get more chaotic and worrying. Then, the miracle: our Mary. The chaos got pushed to one side and all I cared about was being a dad. But there was still a lot of unpleasantness flying around, so in the end I said: "Let's get out of here, go to Scotland and be a family." It wasn't planned, but Mary came at exactly the right time. She changed my perspective to a degree where I could look at what was happening with the Beatles and think, "Does it really matter?"

If you were a dad in the late 1960s, you were part of taht first wave who got involved with the whole process of pregnancy and birth. One afternoon I remember going down to the local Family Planning Association and picking up a booklet called You Are Having A New Baby. I loved reading it: "At this-many-weeks, your baby will be as big as an orange." And then being there at the birth! In my dad's day, that would have been unheard of.

My first solo album came out in 1970 and I decided to use one of Linda's photos of me and Mary on the cover. This tiny head poking out from the inside of my jacket. These days you wouldn't do it because it feels dangerous to put pictures of your kids out there, but back then we weren't bothered. A lot of musical acquiantances warned me that being a dad would change my professional life. You can't take kids on tour, you can't have them in the sutdio. My professional life did change because I was no longer in the band, but I was still writing and recording. For the first Wings tour in 1972 we simply packed a load of nappies and toys and took the kids with us.

Later, when they were at school, I'd have a word with the headmaster. "Look, we'll be away for six weeks and I don't relish the thought of getting a call in Australia saying something happened to one of the kids." The school gave us a list of the lessons they'd be missing and we took a tutor with us, which the kids hated. They saw it as a six-week holiday. Like all parents, we were dreading the rebellious teens, but the most rebellion we had from Mary and Stella was having to listen to Wham! all day long. Looking back, I guess that wasn't too bad.

In 1998 Mary and the kids lost their mum and I lost … Linda. I knew it was my job to be “strong Dad who keeps it together”, but you can’t do that the whole time unless you completely hide your feelings. Eventually my emotions started leaking out. That’s when the roles were reversed and the kids rallied round me. We got through it, but we all struggled because she was the glue that held everything together.

Linda would have been so happy to see how far vegetarianism has come since we started the food business [in 1991]. And now Mary’s continuing the tradition with her own vegan cooking show. Yes, I’m proud of what I’ve achieved musically, but I’m also proud that Linda played such a big part in bringing vegetarian food into people’s homes.

Christmas and new year were a big family thing when I was a kid, so I keep the tradition going. Me and Nancy [Shevell, whom he married in 2011] like to go to Mary’s, the grandkids running around with their new toys. I do it for them as much as me — I want them to experience the same joy I felt at their age. That connection with family is what keeps me sane. I’ve got my fingers crossed for 2022. Like everyone, I’m hoping we’ll get a chance to do some of the things we’ve missed out on, see the people we love. It’ll be nice to have a bit more normality.

Mary

My earliest memories are split between London and the farm in Scotland. The excitement of city life versus absolute solitude. It was still exciting but in a different way: riding ponies, climbing trees, helping Mum in the kitchen. And the sound of Dad’s guitar.

It makes me laugh now, but there were some afternoons when we’d be watching cartoons and Dad would wander over with his guitar. He’d sit down and start playing this beautiful music, messing around with melodies and songs. We’d all give him an evil stare. “Dad, we’re watching telly. Go in the kitchen.” One time he said: “Do you know how many people would love to be sitting here now, listening to me play guitar?” I just shrugged. “But we can’t hear The Wombles.”

Being a vegetarian family in the late 1970s marked you out as different. Everybody said it was all Mum’s idea and she’d forced Dad to stop eating meat, but they did it as a team. I remember them discussing recipes and Dad saying he still wanted something he could slice for his Sunday roast. Mum was always excited about cooking and she inspired me. Dad’s pretty good in the kitchen — he’d make a great sous-chef. If you ask him to sort out the mashed potato, it’ll be the best you’ve ever tasted. He’s meticulous, just like he is in the studio.

Of course people made fun of Mum and Dad for being veggie. They made fun of Mum for a lot of things, saying she wasn’t a real musician, she wore odd socks and charity-shop jumpers. The real problem was that she didn’t fit the mould of the woman they wanted Paul McCartney to marry. They wanted someone who went to all the chichi parties, but Mum was more interested in feeding the animals on the farm.

Mum and Dad insisted we went to the local comprehensive school, which made me feel a bit awkward at the time. I’d be in school for a term, then off on tour. When I came back, all my friends had made new friends. Now, when I look back, I realise what a smart move it was. It kept us grounded.

Dad was almost too enthusiastic when it came to helping with homework. On my own I could knock it off in half an hour but Dad would get out the encyclopaedia, he’d be cross-referencing and drawing graphs. The teachers must have got suspicious when I gave in these ridiculously detailed essays. Dad said education changed his life and he wanted to pass that love of learning on to us.

I look at Dad and think, after all he’s been through, how has he managed to stay in one piece? He has found a way of keeping a level head, no matter what else is happening in his life. My own personal theory — I’ve not talked to Dad about this — is that he needs normality because that’s what inspires him. Real life and real people. That’s where all the music comes from.

Every year that goes by I seem to find a new level of admiration for what Dad has achieved — and Mum too. My husband and I have this game where we try to get through a day without coming across a reference to Dad or the Beatles. What usually happens is that I get to around nine o’clock, then something comes on the radio or I see an ad for the new Beatles documentary.

I do listen to the Beatles at home, but it’s the Wings stuff I play the most. Mum’s not around any more, but when she’s doing her backing vocals I can still hear her and Dad together. There’s a song called I Am Your Singer — that always gets me. “When day is done, harmonies will linger on.”

#paul and linda #paul and children #mary mccartney #paul mccartney #linda mccartney

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adorablegorilla · 1 year

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Man, IL Siracusano really improved upon the "everyone has their own agenda and is pretending to betray this person but actually they're betraying that person but in actuality they were on this side all along" story that Invitation to Wine did. It's way easier to follow along but has the same kinds of twists and drama. Spoilers under the readmore.

Rubio being portrayed as a meek but generally cordial man who simply wanted to be in good standing with the Famiglia and wanted to gain power through connections and good favor rather than backstabbing or deceit had already made me empathetic to him. In other stories I'd think of him as a coward, but in a place as turbulent and dangerous as Siracusa I could only feel empathy for a man who, as far as I knew at the time, simply wanted to live well without being trampled by those in power. And in a way, I wasn't wrong. And then came the moment when he barricaded himself in a room, and on public radio instead of his inauguration speech he revealed to all of Siracusa the Sulazzos' and Bellones' planned coup and urged the citizens to stand up against the Famiglia, pretending to have been spurred to revenge by the death of an associate but revealing in his diary that this had been his plan all along. That he never wanted power, but rather wanted to create a future where everyone could live free of the fear of the Famiglia's tyranny. He knew he'd be killed for it, and so chose to take his own life instead. The clues had been there all along. The fact he'd waited so long to make a bid for power despite all the favor he'd curried, his advice to Penance about living long enough to pass on your ideals... it had seemed like simple but understandable cowardice at the time, but it made so much sense now. Rubio had gone from a character I simply felt some sympathy for to one I couldn't help but admire.

And then the second shock came when Bernado revealed that he'd known of Rubio's plan all along. He let it happen because Bernado had the same goal as Rubio: the complete collapse of the Famiglia. Partnering with the Sulazzo's, the assassination attempt, the coup... it was all a set-up as part of his plan to destroy the Famiglia so that Siracusa would no longer be under their tyranny. It made sense too: while his previous plans made sense as bids for power, they worked even better as ways to destabilize the Famiglia.

Sorry, I'm just amazed at how well-written this event is. I have quite finished it yet but it's easily in the running for my favorite event story.

#arknights #il siracusano

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emyluwinter · 1 year

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Lilia Dream

A bunch of my thoughts and a little theory. You know, I was haunted by the fact that Idia or Sebek in their "happy dreams" had the most ordinary life, the one that suited and pleased them. (And she also gave a lot of reasons for fans of Malleyuu and some kind of "divorce" from which I still laugh. Yuu doesn't intersect so closely with these characters, what kind of divorce are you talking about. They shouldn't be in the dreams of these two guys???)

and so…..

WHY THE HELL DOES LILIA HAVE SUCH A DREAM?! This is definitely a period of wars. because we see soldiers. We see Lilia in his full general's outfit. His attitude and manner of speech. His relation to others.

Malleus does not directly control sleep, he only WATCHES them. Lillia subconscious or self-consciousness created such a dream.

And I had a few thoughts on this.

Someone mentioned that this may be a dream related to the day in which Lilia finds Silver in the cradle

For me, this is not a very suitable theory because it does not fit with the fact that Vanruge should have already been near Malleus. As a mentor or bodyguard, or an informal "guardian". So the war should have been over by now.

Because from a logical point of view, if there is an experienced and strongest fairy military general, then you will send him to the front to end the war or conflict faster than leaving him to sit with a baby.

It may be a dream in which the war finally ended or it did not exist at all. And they can tell us that an egg with a Malleus inside appeared. (Yes, for those who do not know, the Dragonia was most likely born from an egg) I will explain further why this particular detail.

This is a more appropriate development in my opinion.

Think about it, my dear, Lilia spent a lot of time in the war or conflicts between humans and faeries. We don't know how many of his relatives or friends he lost. Also how much these events affected his life in general.

His happy dream may be that all that nightmare, horror and bloodshed is simple….didn't exist. Maybe it was a brief skirmish between different people and faeries that they need to control.

Or maybe it was the last day of the war when all this horror ended. The happiest thing that can happen is to no longer experience the events that haunted Vanruzh for who knows how long.

And from the palace from the royal family came the news of the appearance of the egg. The heir of the Draconia that has not yet been born/hatched.

Because - a new life, a peaceful life and a new beginning.

A harbinger that after dark times full of conflicts, losses, battles, the time of peace and tranquility is finally coming. Which everyone craves so passionately.

Perhaps this is another reason for the "idolization" of Malleus. His birth was associated with the onset of that period that everyone was so anxiously waiting for, which means his reign will be peaceful, bright and joyful.

Lilia himself has repeatedly mentioned that he wants a bright future for the Thorn Valley.

What if in his dream Malleus' parents were still alive and Malefecia did not need to fulfill the duties of the monarch until Malleus was ready to ascend the throne? That would also be a happy note in this dream of Vanrouge. Malleus with his family/parents, whom Lilia probably knew or even grew up side by side.

Their efforts and views would settle the conflict more quickly than it was in reality. And there would have been much fewer victims than there actually were.

If we are really shown the joyful faces of the spouses of Draconia who are eager to see their child as soon as possible, we can safely go for blue duct tape to glue our broken hearts.

+to the shock of Malleus It would be a good detail for the plot!!

After all, Tsunotaro has never seen them in person. And Lilia could remember them at least a little or pieces of certain events. Perhaps we could be shown hints of Silver's family (maybe she was the royal family that waged wars with the fae)

And this would be a good parralel. Silver's loving family that is fascinated by their little newborn prince. And the elegant restrained Malleus family, which envelops the little "dragon heir" with care and transfer of experience for the throne. Maybe the conclusion of peace will also be stipulated..

Having little information, I can only assume that we can be told about Lilia dream in a completely different way, so I can only build theories about what might happen next.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst spoilers #twst malleus #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #twst theory #twst thoughts

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tw1l1te · 1 year

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Whisper From the Sky: Chapter VIII

A/N: Hi hi! Sorry for the lengthy hiatus, I just finished up a hectic end to my first semester. I hope you all are enjoying the story so far! This chapter is a bit short because I wanted to leave on a bit of a cliff-hanger if you will. Are we finally starting to see hints towards malicious behavior???

Wild didn’t know what to think when he saw what happened to you when you touched the statue, but he knew he didn’t like it. Not at all.

It’s almost as if… he was angry at the statue itself.

But he also felt scared. Terrified that he couldn’t help you. Guilty that he led everyone to this temple without knowing there could be repercussions. After all, this temple wasn’t always the holiest of sites in Hyrule.

He wanted to drag you out of the dark tunnel and pull you back into your bedroll, preventing any more damage.

But he just stood there… and did nothing.

A logical part of his head knew he didn’t even know what to do in that situation, but his thoughts just kept spiraling about you.

Has he always been this worried about you?

He noticed your hands had become more scuffed up and blistered.

He noticed the bounce of your hair when you walked, catching the sunlight every so often.

Your small giggles to a terrible joke that Warriors made, or the light blush across your cheeks after you got a compliment.

Did the others notice it?

He hoped the others didn’t catch on to his observations, or they would definitely tease him for it.

He could make out the outline of your body in front of him, glowing from the torch’s fire. And yet, it made it seem that you, yourself, were emitting that glow.

Wild shook his head, he couldn’t get distracted, especially not now when your life was in potential danger.

The group was silent as you walked underneath the temple. The only sounds heard were your footsteps and the tiny drops of moisture falling on you every so often. You were alert, growing more anxious as you walked longer, dreading to reach your destination.

In order to fill the silence, you took out your phone, desperate for a distraction.

The soft blue glow of your device lit up the hallway, making you smile slightly. Seeing the photo with all of your friends as your lock screen always made you warm.

That was when you came to the bottom of the stairs.

You looked up, slipping your phone back into your pocket.

“It seems like there’s only one way, so it avoids us from splitting up. The statue should be right up ahead.” you state, looking up at Time for confirmation.

Nodding, you all began moving again, everyone becoming more on edge.

Finally, you reached it. Hylia’s statue.

Holy shit.

Did she… grow since your dream? She seemed to tower even more over you.

“Took you long enough.”

Everyone snapped their heads towards the voice, but there was no one there.

You walked towards it, Sky almost grabbing your elbow to prevent you from going closer, but you shrugged him off.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t exactly give me directions on how to get here. Come out from the shadows.” you stated, hoping no one heard the wavering in your voice.

He stepped out of the dark, confidence emanating from his footsteps.

His red eyes immediately met yours, glistening like rubies.

You could hear the group reach for their weapons, but you raised your arm slightly to signal them to stop.

You wanted to hear the shadow out.

“I just want to point out that the last thing I want is to be associated with you. Any of you. But I don’t have much of a choice. You’ve heard of Hylia, haven’t you?” the shadow rasped, eyes boring into you.

You nodded, desperate for the shadow to get to the point.

“Ah, of course you do. This isn’t your first encounter with the heroes, isn’t it? They may have not caught on, but I can tell how knowledgeable you are of our lore, much more than you convince others of.” he smirked, knowing that he opened a door that couldn’t be closed.

“Y/n… what does that mean?” Four asked, eyes searching your face for any sort of response.

Your mouth opened to deny the shadow’s claim, but no words came out, as if someone took them away from you.

You looked down, avoiding looking at anyone.

“Holy fucking Hylia… you knew? This whole time?” Wild asked, anxiety making his voice waver.

“Did anyone else know?” Wild asked, looking at everyone in the group, hoping he wasn’t alone in the dark.

Time sighed deeply, glancing at you.

“You’re kidding me. You knew? Since when? And you didn’t think to fucking tell us?!” Legend demanded, eyes snapping between you and Time.

He then looked at you, face hardening by the second.

“I knew you were no good. You’ve been working with the shadow this entire time haven’t you? Don’t think you’re so sly you fucking-” “Stop.” Wild was suddenly in front of you.

“Don’t you DARE blame them. This isn’t their fault. You think they asked to be here? No. No they didn’t. They didn’t tell us for our own good, don’t you realize that? If they told us, none of us would have trusted them because they know so much about us. They know practically everything about each and every one of us and telling us that they know that would have prevented them from trying to find a way home. They didn’t have a CHOICE. You, me, us of all people should understand that because we didn’t get to choose either.”

Everyone was at a loss for words.

The shadow started slowly clapping, dramatically rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah hero. We’ve all heard that sob story. ‘The great heroes are destined to defeat evil for the rest of time’ yada-yada-yada. Now, are we all done wasting time? I have important matters with your… friend? Partner? I don’t care. See, you have something I want,” he said, gesturing at your arm.

“Seems like you’ve been sensed by the goddess, and have harnessed something of hers. Well… I’m here to claim it.” he sneered, widening his stance in preparation to strike.”

You yelped out, not ready for a fight.

Before you could reach for a weapon or call out to someone from the group, the shadow threw something straight at you, right at your injured arm.

Searing pain went over you for the second time, though no one knew what was happening to you, your arm was in immense pain.

“PLEASE! STOP! I don’t want whatever the statue gave me, just take it!!” You yelled at the shadow.

The shadow’s voice sounded far away, and yet in your head at the same time.

Before you could say anything else, the pain ceased. You panted heavily, catching your breath from the terrifying experience.

Looking down at your arm, there was a new addition to your hand.

The number 9 was illuminated on your hand, shining a bright gold, almost blinding you.

What does it even mean?

What does 9 mean?

#link x reader #linked universe #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe au #yandere

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