#bitch the entire SERIES is build on retcons | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stupid-sloot-headcanons · 2 years

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A penny for your legend of korra opinions?

Ok but I'm gonna preemptively pull out my Bisexual Card when it comes to bitching about Korrasami lol

The best parts of Korra are its animation, sound design, fight choreography, and production. Also JK Simmons is there.

Fucks the established Lore of ATLA. The spirit world is no longer a realm that exists beyond the physical, it's a place you can physically go to with portals even if you aren't the Avatar. Harmonic Convergence dictates that there apparently needs to be a set number of Airbenders in the world, so boom: we get random people getting Airbender powers. This could work with a bit of rewriting, but as it is it renders the near annihilation of the air nomads moot and pointless.

Retconned the origins of bending from imitating and working synonymously with nature and spirits to the Lion Turtles booping people on the head to give them powers. It's not something you had to train to do, Wan just got head-booped and can suddenly shoot fire from his arm. The origins of bending being a way to protect yourself from spirits also makes no sense, since humans used to not be able to access the spirit realm unless you were the Avatar or a guru. Even then, it was a kind of astral projection and not physically walking there through an Ultima-esque moongate.

Rava and Vatu are a concept of yin and yang that we already had with the ideas of balance and how the Fire Nation can't just be eradicated (they contribute to the balance of life like every other bender nation), as well as the two fish Twi and La that are the source of waterbender's powers (again, nature and spirits coinciding with the human realm is what powers benders: NOT LION TURTLES GIVING POWERS TO ANY SCHMUCK THAT ASKS). Also, for their importance in Korra, Rava and Vatu are never mentioned in ATLA ever. Why is Vatu an evil antagonist when the entire concept of balance in ATLA is that YOU NEED BOTH SIDES FOR BALANCE.

The aesthetic of the radio-era is cool, but doesn't fit at all with the story and world building of Avatar. Bryke admit that they added it because it looked cool and there was no other thought to it, and it shows. Republic City fucks with the world building painstakingly set up in ATLA with its aesthetic, and could have been fixed by simply not making Korra the very next Avatar. The rapid industrialization just makes no sense and doesn't meld with world building. There were trains in Ba Sing Se and a mail system, but they were powered by earthbending. How the fuck are there radios, zeppelins, cars, and high-rises when we had oxcarts less than a century before this?

Why are there more flying bison if Appa was the last one?

Korra is a shit protagonist. I'm fine with a cocky Avatar, but only if they're likeable and have the ability to back up that cockiness. She tries to get Mako to break up with Asami in the asinine love triangle of this fucking series, forces a kiss on him, dates his brother to make him jealous, and it's all handwaved because she's the Avatar and protagonist and you've got to deal with it. I dunno, I'm just saying if a male Avatar did this same thing to a woman, they wouldn't be given this much narrative leeway. Speaking of narrative leeway, Korra gets a fuckton of it despite being just as entitled as she is in Book 1.

Korra's inability to Airbend was an interesting idea that could have worked, but instead of the logical and well-written idea of her having to change her views on bending to follow Airbending teachings (like Tenzin was trying to show her before she ragequit and set a cultural artifact of a barely surviving culture in fire), but instead she just magically Airbends in the climax. "I can airbend? ....I CAN AIRBEND." Lame and nullifies the arc they were trying to set up for her character the entire first season.

The idea of nonbenders being threatened by benders is interesting and would have made narrative sense in ATLA, but the boom in technology and infrastructure means there really isn't much a nonbender struggles with anymore. Amon is cool and he and Tenzin are the only characters I like, but it turns out in a big dumb twist that the main nonbender antagonist of season 1 is actually a waterbender. A waterbender who can somehow waterbend without need of the full moon, which is a retcon that actively breaks the lore of ATLA.

Toph becomes the head of the police force in Ba Sing Se and so does her descendant despite being Toph fucking Beifong.

Tenzin's attempts to try and show Korra how to airbend and why she can't do it are resolved by him realizing he's being an old fuddy-duddy and that Korra just had to learn it in her own way. This is despite the fact that her emotional block and incompatibility with Airbending was never changed in the slightest and she suddenly could airbend just because.

Korra has seen the flashbacks to Wan (and the origins of the Avatar state are SO fucking stupid and lore-breaking but I digress) and knows that the spirit world inhabitants living with humans has not worked in the past; Wan even knows this and that's why he says goodbye to his friends in the spirit realm and seals the portal. Yet Korra somehow thinks keeping the portals open is a good idea because...I don't know, she's a dumbass I guess?

Asami and Korra have little to no chemistry until the very end of Book 3 if I'm being generous (and thats mainly the one hand hold scene). They're active rivals in Book 1, they talk in two or three scenes in Book 2 and 3 with the only one of them really interacting being them reminiscing in a jokey way about them both being with Mako, and the way they suddenly get over what SHOULD be a large emotional rift in a single conversation is unrealistic. Then they talk a few more times in Book 3 and by Book 4, boom! They were a couple the whole time. Pro writing tip: if you need paragraphs and paragraphs breaking down scenes to prove they were actually showing evidence of a romance, you have written your romance fucking poorly. This is odd considering Bryke have written well done romances in ATLA like Katara and Aang, and both of Sokka's romances with Suki and Yue. Sokka's romances were both given very little screen time compared to Kataang and still wound up hitting emotional points that made sense and were compelling.

Things like Korra mastering 3 elements by the time she's a 5 year old because fuck you she's just that talented and special cheapens the training characters like Aang and other avatars went through. Aang, the youngest airbender master in history, mastered his birth element in six years and it took months of rigorous training to develop skills in the other elements. (Remember Sozin outright telling Aang: "MASTERING THE ELEMENTS TAKES YEARS OF DISCIPLINE AND PRACTICE?") You can just show Korra putting in actual effort and taking a few years to develop her bending as opposed to mastering 3 OF THE 4 ELEMENTS BEFORE HITTING 6 YEARS OLD. She didn't even struggle with fire despite Aang struggling with earth, as they're opposites.

I don't know how much edgy humor you can stomach, but basically I agree with a lot of the points made by E;R's critiques/long-form shitting on of Legend of Korra.

#sloot bitches about things #.lok #amon's rad. tenzin's rad. and it looks pretty and the fights are cool. the end #sloot's essays #oh and lin. lin's cool

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years

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I am shocked. And devastated. And just... deeply saddened.

Firstly, I have no ill will toward Megan. It has never seemed like she’s had a 100% fabulous experience on the show, for a variety of reasons, but we certainly don’t know all the facts, and it’s really none of our business. Of course, she has the absolute right to pick whatever projects she wants to work on & when. And who knows, she could want to spend more time with or perhaps grow her family. Regardless, I wish her the best.

Secondly, I am... confused & appalled at the writers. Not only for all their previous poor decisions (which I suppose are, after all, a matter of opinion & more importantly, I’m not interested in going into them right now/again) but for the way they handled this. Just... they obviously knew this was coming - these things have to be decided in advance - & this is how they chose to write their final season with their lead? I’m... aghast. She was straight-up gone for a portion (though we don’t know the truth behind that, to be fair), villianized for most of it, & pretty much hated for all of it. They knew she was leaving & they couldn’t be bothered to at least try to redeem her character & wrap up her arc in a positive way? Not to mention repair her relationship with the other main character, WHICH IS BY THE WAY THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE SHOW. I’m just... baffled. Granted, who knows what they’ll pull out of their rears for these last two eps but... I’m not fooling myself into expecting anything good.

Thirdly, all that “real life” business said... personally? I’m so upset. I saw the headline on my phone first thing when I woke up & the most awful horror spread through my chest. I know that sounds dramatic but... listen. This show means a lot to me. For all that I bitch about it (which I know is a lot), this show has been a constant in my life for over 8 years &... that’s a long-ass time. It’s seen me through the end of high school, undergraduate school, graduate school, AND a world-wide pandemic. I made this tumblr specifically to join the Lizzington community, I’ve made such incredible friends through it, & I started writing just for this ship. My time here has been a rock in tough times, a guilty pleasure, & a place to escape. I’ve met amazing people all over the world - some of the loveliest & purest relationships I’ve ever had - and even actual physical penpals, none of which I would have had the opportunity to do without this show. Watching the fandom slowly shrink as friends & acquaintances move on to bigger & better things has been so sad to see & I’m afraid of that just being compounded with the few of us left. I don’t want to lose the friends I’ve made because the show is effectively over. Maybe I’m being overly-sentimental because this is my first active fandom experience but... I don’t care. That’s how I feel. I’m not even sure what I’ll blog about anymore with no show to theorize about, no gifs to cry over, no crappy plots to bitch about. And in terms of fic... I don’t know. I’d certainly like to finish what I have in my line-up, but I’m not sure about after that. I’d love to finish my WIPs & write the vision I’ve always had for my final Lizzington fic. It makes me so sad to think of not writing anymore but if there’s no show? What else can I do? I won’t be stopping immediately but, as I suppose it’s always been, the conclusion of the show is tied to the lifespan of my fics & when one ends... I think so does the other. And that thought makes me so unbelievably sad.

I think I’m mostly gutted because I just wasn’t expecting this. I NEVER thought either Megan or James leaving before the natural conclusion of the show was EVER a possibility. And, more importantly, I thought we had at least one more season. Ever since renewals came into real question around season seven or so, it occurred to me that I should try to prepare for the eventual end. And I was mentally preparing for it! But, since the news that there will be a season 9, I was counting on at least one more year. Would it be bad? Probably. Would it be worth watching? Probably not. Would there be any Lizzington? Unlikely. But would I be able to liveblog & scream about it with my friends? Yes. Would there be inspiration for new fics? You bet. Would there be the smallest, tiniest, little glimmer of hope for Lizzington? .....Yes. Some may argue there was never any hope to begin with (& we would obviously disagree) but that’s the thing about hope: as long as there’s a little, there’s some. But there’s not anymore. Because without Megan, there’s no Liz, & without Liz, there’s no possibility for Lizzington. At least for me. So, to go from counting on at least one more season before it was time to prepare for the end of this whole experience, to suddenly just two episodes is... so painful. Just one week left. After eight seasons. And more than eight years. Usually you have so much more build-up before series finales, which is effectively what this is for me. To not have that just makes everything feel so... pointless. I know it’s not &, despite the shit show this all turned out to be, I WILL have fond memories of this time. And I WILL eventually get over it. It just... feels like a huge loss. Because it is. It’s unexpected. And devastating. And while it’s super dramatic & way over-the-top to say it... I feel like I’m grieving right now. This show - & more so this ship - meant so much to me. And I feel like we lost that today. Who knows what they’ll do in these next 2 episodes - if they’ll chose to retcon the mythology or if they’ll successfully tie up all the loose ends? If they’ll end with Red & Liz on good terms or friends (or more?) or if they’ll OOC tf out of the relationship in an attempt to set things up for season 9 & whatever their weird plans are...

But, I’m sorry, no matter what they’re planning? I won’t be watching season 9. The Blacklist has always - from the first promo - been about Red & Liz & their relationship. TPTB seem to have forgotten that. And to quote Megan... “I think it’s a love story.”

It’s a shame we never got to see it.

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #mine #i'm emo #oh my god #what an awful fucking day #they also cancelled manifest btw so i'm really living it up #look #i'll be okay and everything #at some point #i mean i know this is sad and dramatic af #i just had to get my feelings out before i exploded #i literally cried over this today #it hit me hard #i'm just #so blind-sided #and so desperately sad about it #i don't even know what to feel about the ep tomorrow night #also sidenote #why tf did they choose to announce this *now*#it's not exactly a great promo for the season finale #wtf #idk y'all #there's fic going up tonight and tomorrow cause it's already written #so why tf not #now that i worked up the energy to write this i'll get to my asks and messages and other people's posts #cause those are the only thing giving me life right now #god #what a shitty fucking day

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soultek · 3 years

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An deiner Seite - Marco Bodt x Reader (Attack on Titan)

Author’s Note: Well! Welcome to my first piece of Attack on Titan writing!

Of course it’s Marco. Bertolt and Reiner are my favourites so of course it’s Marco who I get the idea to write for.

Maybe because my ideas for Bert and Reiner are so messy

I digress. Let’s retcon a certain something for my (and Jean’s) sunshine ☀️

I’m *this* close to the possibility of a series but we’ll see...

Disclaimer: AoT/SnK and all associated characters not mine / I’m certainly not that hot at writing action, but I gave it my best shot / tried to keep reader as gender neutral as possible

Premise: When you find Marco in the clutches of a Titan, you have but one thought. Not him, not today, not ever.

Words: 3270

Warnings: Potential spoilers for Marco’s death depending on how much of the show you have/n’t seen

______

Screaming filled the air of the quietened district of Trost once more. It was supposed to be over. Nearly over. Eren was certainly stealing all the attention in his Titan form, despite the presence of other Titans still in the area. Ignoring them to marvel at the new ‘Secret Weapon’ proved to be a fatal mistake.

Nearly fatal. The scream that pierced your ears made your blood run cold and you turned on a dime; this was not a time for thinking. It was a time for pure instinct. Of the 104th Cadets you weren’t anything other than good; good at everything but never really excelling in anything. You hadn’t made the top 10 cut, but that didn’t really matter to you. You weren’t aiming for the Military Police as so many of your friends were. But you were quick on your feet – which had been quite the saving grace in this battle already, and you were almost as much of a specialist with your ODM gear as Jean Kirstein. You didn’t need to check your canisters before launching yourself from the roof as you sprinted – you could make it, you had to make it. Even if you consumed all your gas in the process.

Your gear rocketed you through the air towards the Titan and you swallowed back your fear, your hatred – nearly emotionless as you arced yourself, running your blades parallel to make the cut. No time to think about the consequences of not getting there in time. The consequences of not cutting deep enough. You turned your body into your slice and let gravity do the rest of your work as you expended more gas to propel yourself – you didn’t even have time to go for the nape. Oh no, you’d have to slice through skin and muscle and bone; or else risk crushing him in the process of killing it. You would never forgive yourself for coming so close only to end up the cause of the very thing you were trying to prevent.

The Titan’s fingers seemed like the easiest option so that’s where you went, and with all your calculated factors your cuts were successful even if not entirely clean. You hardly cared about that – there was something else on your mind, dropping a blade from your hand in time to snatch the cadet from its clutches. Not today. Not him. If you had your way, not EVER. Your wires slacked as you overshot the building you’d grappled into and both you and Marco slammed hard into the roof tiles, skittering across them. Digging your heels in, you retracted your gear and discarding your now trashed blades, you clicked fresh ones into place. Even now, no time to think. Marco – still slightly dazed and definitely hurting – managed to lift his body up shakily on his arms from his sprawled position to at least see who his saviour was. You? He smiled despite it all; of course! “Stay here.” You growled, and Marco barely had time to get out a ‘huh!?’ as you pushed yourself into another sprint. Steam may have been rising from the Titan’s severed fingers, but it was still staring at you both – you channelled all your hate this time as you released your grapples into the building opposite. This time you didn’t have to be so calculated; this time it didn’t matter as long as you killed it. Marco was safe now. If you’d been even one second later… “NOT MY BOYFRIEND, YOU SON OF A BITCH-!” You hollered, hurling yourself at the Titan. Reckless maybe, but in your eyes necessary. You swung yourself out in the opposite direction to where your gear had set, narrowly missing what was left of the Titan’s hand as it lunged for you. And as your feet left the rooftop the iron cables wrapped themselves around the Titan’s neck, straining. You could feel the tiny smirk on your face as you reeled yourself in, blades once again in perfect positioning for your final strike. It was a shame you couldn’t make it suffer any more than this. But you could dwell on that later. Your cut was clean, perhaps even deeper than necessary, as you felt the snap of bone under your blades again. Neither were intact as you landed back on the tiles, a little harder than you would have liked, considering the way your body jarred for just a second. Grapples retracted, you once again relieved yourself of broken blades. But not before kissing one – hardly caring about the amount of Titan blood on them, or you, now becoming that same vapour. Thank you, for helping me save him… You brushed yourself down, and stored your equipment. You could already feel yourself shaking, adrenaline spent. Taking a deep breath, you allowed yourself to think for a moment how close to death he’d just been, how you’d just thrown yourself in harms way to save his life. You would do anything for Marco Bodt. That’s just how it was. Certainly wouldn’t have gained me any points with Shadis though… Pushing your feet on in urgency, you skidded across the tiles to your ‘damsel in distress’. By now Marco had managed to ease himself to standing, despite clutching his right arm – you guessed that meant he wasn’t hurt so bad, thank the Walls for that. His eyes were beholding you with a sense of wonder, but you could see the horror behind them – Marco knew what would have happened had you not swooped in. You supposed brushes with death would not be so easy to overcome. “Geez, Marco! Jean and I were so worried-!” Somehow these were the first words that made their way out of your mouth, maybe they were the only ones you could say safely right now. Well, actually, you didn’t know if Jean was worried. You didn’t even know if Jean had heard the same thing you had or even where he was - but you knew he’d be pissed once he found out. You stopped in front of him, scariness of the situation suddenly hitting you full force, you felt the lump in your throat before tears brimmed. Although they didn’t fall. You didn’t need to bother him with that right now – Marco needed you. “Don’t ever do that to me again!” You weren’t sure why your instant reaction was to be mad at him – but then you weren’t mad at him, you were mad at the circumstances. That a Titan had even gone for Marco - had been given the opportunity to do so. That he’d had to go through that. If you’d been with him in the first place… No use crying over not being put in squad 19 now.

Marco’s attempt to calm you was valiant, and the fearful look in his eyes almost dissipated as he smiled, despite it still being present in his voice. “I- I know… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to worry either of you…” How could you stay mad at that smile? Those pretty brown eyes? The constellation of freckles that painted his cheeks you just loved so damn much. You gave him a slight smile back, almost by way of apology for yelling… or acceptance of his own. Marco knew it was only because you were so alarmed, your emotions were allowed to get the better of you in situations like this. Your eyes left his to scan his body for any other signs of injury besides the arm; maybe he was trying to keep his weight to one side, maybe he was bleeding somewhere. You’d be forcing him to medical anyway, if Jean didn’t drag him there himself – but you wanted to figure out how urgent it should be… You paused, eyes flying wide in shock once more. “Where’s your ODM gear!?” You took a step back; how had you not noticed!? The pause of significance had you darting your gaze back to his face and for a few seconds Marco looked absent, a flicker as if he’d just seen a ghost. Before he swallowed hard, giving an embarrassed laugh and rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, I-! I lost it.” You reacted too quickly to what he had said to realise a decision had been made leading to that response; “LOST IT! Babe you almost got eaten!” You grabbed Marco’s hands in yours, squeezing them tight, half to make sure he was really still here, alive and breathing, and half to try to get him to realise the seriousness of the situation. “It wouldn’t have mattered! I was out of gas, I thought I could out run them!” “Over rooftops!? Marco, they’re 15 meters high-!” You didn’t really remember him being outstanding at parkour. Marco was quick, nearly as quick as you, but you would reckon anyone would have struggled with a strategy like that. Even Humanities Strongest… “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Marco found himself apologising once more as he laced your fingers together. His hands were so warm; you weren’t sure if that was just because you were hyperfocusing on his touch right now, or radiated heat from the death grip of a Titan. You could have lost this… Anywhere else in Trost, a little less skill… you could have lost this… Your boyfriend cleared his throat to perhaps offer better explanation. “But I thought the lack of gear would make me lighter, y’know?” His clarification made sense, but it was still suicide. Had he not thought about his best friend? Had he not thought about you? No, Marco would only have thought about you both – overconfident determination was not his thing. Did this make sense? Could it have made anything other than sense… people did crazy things in battle, in the heat of the moment even the coolest of heads could make rash decisions like that. Even Marco could – hadn’t you just done something comparably insane? Your face pulled back into a look of distress and you chewed your bottom lip for a second to stop yourself tearing up again. “You scared me!” You were glad that your tone wasn’t so much chiding, but that wasn’t about to stop Marco’s expression screwing up in concern. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” There he was apologising all over again, this time with a wince to accompany his nervous smile, hands detaching from yours to be held up defensively. You took this opportunity to really look at him and you gasped gently at the slight redness to his eyes, the tear stains running through the speckles of dust on his cheeks. You tried to ignore that in this light you could see where his crying had dampened his shirt too. You were forgetting which one of you had just been saved from hell. Marco didn’t deserve to be subject to your anger at the world, he needed the exact opposite. Your expression softened and you reached out, holding his face gently in your hands, you ran your thumbs through the subtle marks to rid Marco of them. You don’t need to cry now, I’m here… It’s going to be okay. At your movement Marco couldn’t help but give you his best lopsided smile; as good as he could when he was still shaken up. You giggled, “Aw! How could I not forgive such a cute face-?” Removing your hands from his cheeks you wound your arms around him and pulled your body into his, head against his chest. Marco’s whole body was just as warm; you wondered once more about the Titan’s hold on him – you knew they ran particularly high body temperatures. Closing your eyes for a second as you melted into his embrace, you focused on his heartbeat; Marco was calming now, but that was all the proof you needed that he was still here with you and breathing. You’d both lived to fight another day. But taking back Trost had only taught you how human you were; how easy you could be taken from each other. You enveloped him a little tighter at your own thought: No. You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it would be easy – you would fight to the death for him. And you knew how protective Marco could get.

You couldn’t help but beam, inhaling him – allowing yourself to be caught in his familiarity for just a moment. The Titans that needed taking down after Eren had sealed the breach could wait for just a second longer. And yet, with Marco in the state he was in without his gear, you got the feeling there was only one way you could go. “Guess I gotta haul you back home now, huh-!?” You reluctantly pulled away from his chest, looking back up into those beautiful eyes. Pink dusted his cheeks slightly, only making you smile wider. Marco’s blush coupled with his freckles was a different kind of adorable all together. His laugh was genuine, and you were glad he was happy. It didn’t seem to take much to get your Marco back. “Haha, guess you get to be my knight in shining armour huh? And I certainly don’t mind that!” He grinned and you smirked gently; “Or-- I can suit you up... and you can carry me home? We can swap gear over and you can sweep me off my feet, my handsome prince.” His blush was already deepening but Marco was a goner as soon as you added the wink. And the cute collection of freckles really did stand out against the red; you couldn’t help but giggle in happiness. But Marco took a breath, and this time he grinned; besides it would take a little while to take the ODM gear from you and put it on him, and right now he’d rather be out of the reach of Titans, for obvious reasons. “No, no, people should get to know you saved my life-”

Marco suddenly stiffened as his gaze wandered to just over your shoulder, you watched his eyes grow wide and there was that flicker again. His grip on you tightened just a little, and your hand fell to your blades instinctively as you turned to see what has caused his mood change. A few roof tops away from the two of you, and on slightly higher ground, stood your group of friends; Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt. (Well, you kicked around with the guys a lot at least.) You tipped your head watching them, eyebrow quirked, half raising the hand that had shot to your blades in greeting. Their expressions were all unreadable, Reiner was the only one who attempted to return your salutation. “Where the heck were they!?” An aside said out loud. Not that you minded saving Marco all by yourself, but help would always have been appreciated. You turned away from them and back to your boyfriend, whose expression was now worn a little more neutral. His grip on you was not. “Babe, what’s wrong?” “It’s- it’s nothing...” Marco blinked hard and when his eyes returned to you, he immediately softened, with a smile, “Let’s get out of here.” “Okay, Sunshine. Your call!” You gave a nod, grinning, before stepping to his side, looping your arm around his waist as Marco secured his own around your shoulders. Leaning across, you brushed your lips to his cheek gently, thankful he was still with you. All these little things suddenly seemed so huge with renewed context… “You sure you’ll be okay?” “I’ll be fine, if there’s anyone that can get you out of here it’s me and Jean, right?” You teased, gently rapping the knuckles of your free hand against the gas cylinders. Despite knowing you’d used a lot to get to him, you knew you’d be fine taking Marco back too. You smiled; things were on your side today. You all needed to catch a break, and you supposed there was no better time than today. “Thank God I happen to be in with the two ODM specialists of the class!” “Speaking of, he’s probably wandering where the heck we are.” “…Better not leave him hanging.” Marco’s voice was at least amused, as you made sure everything was secure. You had to confirm you weren’t about to lose your own ODM gear trying to get him back to the safety of the wall. “Alright, let’s get you home and dry!” Marco gave a confident nod to match the smile on his face and gripped you a little tighter. You glanced back to the other roof top, but by now the other three had disappeared. You frowned, still a little puzzled by Marco’s reaction, but brushed it off to focus on the task ahead of you. Neither of you needed a count down and pushed off at the same time, running to the edge of the roof so your ODM gear needed to do the minimal amount of work, before you both jumped, laughing as you loosed your grapples into the nearest tall building surface. You had to admit to yourself, you loved how tight Marco was hanging onto you and couldn’t help but notice how his smile grew as you carried him towards the safety of the wall. You held him a little closer too. Today would hit you hard, maybe later, when you’d all calmed down and reality settled in the dead of night. You hoped it wouldn’t come to you in dreams… But you supposed you would find out. You glanced to the ground below, the structures around you, Marco was doing the same and you knew you were both looking for the same person; Jean. The first thing you would do was reunite, regroup and recount… and then would come the big decision. Where the three of you would go, having all just graduated. If decisions would change, now you’d been through hell and back. Marco took your hand, lacing your fingers as you landed back within Wall Rose and the military camp set up – all quiet here, not a Titan to be seen. You squeezed his hand hard in response as you both scanned the movements of people, trying not to get disheartened at how many weren’t there. You didn’t even allow the possibility that Jean was one of them to cross your mind. “GUYS---!” Both of you gasped, turning towards the voice, “GUYS! OH, THANK GOD---!!” Jean waved his arms through the air as he raced towards you both. “JEAN!” You yelled in unison, taking off towards your best friend and practically throwing yourselves at him. Jean Kirstein staggered and you all fell with a thump to the floor, laughing, “Okay, geez, I get it you missed me! I’d miss me too!” He cracked a smile, arms around you both. Marco and yourself shared a look, quietly agreeing that you’d tell Jean what happened later. Right now was a time to be relieved that your trio had made it out of Trost alive. Survived one more day. You both threw your arms back around him and hugged each other close. You closed your eyes tight, enjoying the sound of both of them laughing into the air. You were all still just kids; this was how it was meant to be, right? Having fun and messing around and not having to worry about friends you’d lost, or the monsters outside the walls… You smiled to yourself; maybe one day you’d get that all back.

I’m glad you’re safe… Oh boys, I’m so glad you’re safe… Thank God… that you’re alive… I don’t know how to thank anyone enough for this… I don’t know what I’d do… if you had gone…

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Thank you very much for reading! 😘❤

#Happy Birthday & Marco Retcon To Me!#Marco Bodt #attack on titan #SnK #Marco Bott #shingeki no kyojin #if you squint very hard there's possibly some JeanMarco / Poly relationship stuff in here.#I think it sets up for a very interesting series proposal and I got some ideas of how I'd do it...#Like the Scouting mission I know how that goes.#I guess I'm figuring this out right now. This is like the toe dip into providing content for this fandom so....#Let me know how I'm doing!#Marco Bott x Reader #Marco Bodt x Reader

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meyeselph · 3 years

Text

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

#gwenpool #fanfic #deconstruction #outofloveiswear #fortheoriginalwritersnotmarvelordisney #tw mental health #tw mentions of suicide #tw mentions of drug abuse #tw violence #tw gun violence

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thirteenthspirit · 5 years

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Not a Very ‘Organized’ Organization (XIII)

I thought hard about this week’s topic of choice. Brexit was on my mind - I pondered about doing a comparison between parliament’s never-ending struggle with delays and failed agreements, vs Harvest Moon’s unending gameplay, farming and shipping and eventually marrying and digging in the mines and COLLECTING ALL THE DAMN SPRITES in that DS one. But that’s as far as it goes… I didn’t think I’d be able to milk it like those cows (hey!).

Speaking of Hey, I still want to get Space Channel 5 in there somewhere, those Chu’s and Hey’s have been on my mind like crazy…

So I settled on writing about one of my favorite topics – Organization XIII!

Organization XIII was always one of my favorite parts of the Kingdom Hearts series. They are cool and mysterious and (debatably) heartless, ranging everywhere from the mute heavyweight champions (*cough* Lexaeus *cough*) to the twink rockstar wannabes.

So, Organization XII is, like the name implies, a group of 13 nobodies – wait, scratch that – a group of 14 nobodies (eyeroll) who have banded together to… um… depends on who you ask. And in which game. Their primary goal was to be whole, to be granted a heart/soul, even if practically EVERY ONE OF THEM had a different agenda and there was a whole underlying separate reason for the creation of the Organization. NO WORRIES, let’s stick with that, because it’s more fun.

Ok so, breaking down the members, should we go by number? Order of appearance? Relevance? Element of choice? Maybe click (you know, high school clichés)?

Well – first you have the Mains. Roxas (no. XIII), is the counterpart of Sora, the main character in the whole series. So you know he’s gotta be pretty high on the list. The most interesting thing about Roxas is surprisingly NOT that he’s voice by Jesse McCartney, but the duality of elements he controls. Light and Darkness are everywhere with this guy – his outfit has chess squares on it and he wields both Oathkeeper and Oblivion, not to mention having an incredibly sad and traumatic origin story! He’s like, a slightly smarter and moodier Sora. I like Roxas, I’m sad they didn’t give him anything to do in KH3. Dual-wielding keyblades is pretty awesome and his light attacks can hit pretty hard. One of my favorite moments of the series will always be his fight with Riku in the secret ending of KH1, over 10 years ago! Seeing Roxas clash with Riku in mid-air in front of that clock tower (not to be confused with the one from Neverland – I mean England) really made my heart race as a kid. He can also boast to having shared quite a couple of awesome struggles (go Vivi), with Sora in that “Station of Awakening” place where Destati usually plays, and then with both his best friends - while trying not to be kidnapped by his “Flurry of Dancing Flames”, best friend Axel, and when dispatching Xion.

Xion (no. XIV) is a “puppet”, made to take over Roxas’s place and role in the Organization, should anything happen. She is an interesting character, tragedy befalls her and her journey with coming to the realization that she must sacrifice herself for Sora’s behalf (in order for him to become whole again) is a beautiful one to see. Vector to the Heavens plays when you’re fighting Xion for the last time, ending with Roxas effectively killing her and is a beautifully crafted piece. Xion suffers a bit from that ‘unintentional retcon’ where she didn’t really have a place, story-wise, and was created solely for 358/2 Days. So she was effectively written-out of the main storyline until the later games, with every character practically forgetting about her (literally losing their memories of her).

Rounding out the trio is one of everyone’s favorites – bad-guy good-guy Axel (no. VIII). Axel’s portrayal changed throughout the series. In CoM, he is responsible for unmasking a conspiracy and dispatching rogue members of the organization. He is the de-facto assassin. With not a hint of remorse. As his friendship with Xion and Roxas builds, he regains access to some degree of emotion – perhaps it’s caused by the (stick with me on this one) Lea-Ventus-Sora-Roxas-Axel connection, or perhaps he grows a heart, sitting on that clock tower overlooking the (ALWAYS SETTING) sun of Twilight Town and eating sea-salt ice cream. Eventually he turns on the organization, proving his loyalty is to his friends and even joins the main cast as a Keyblade wielder, turning the tides on some occasions (he really makes the end of DDD worth it). It helps that he has a wicked-cool design. His element is Fire and he wields twin Chakrams, boasting two tear tattoos and incredibly spiky hair. His relationship with Kairi is a cute element to the story, I wish (aside from some more combat or like ANY AT ALL) they had more scenes together and overall relevance to the main storyline. My favorite moment, aside from him rescuing Sora from his peers in DDD, has to be when he executes Vexen in Castle Oblivion.

From Axel, the most closely linked member, aside from Roxas and Xion, is SaÏx (no. VII). SaÏx is a warewolf. The moon sends him into a trance and he is often plagued with anger management issues. Berserk is his Nirvana. Him and Axel go way back and there is still a storyline to be uncovered there, judging from the secret reports found in KH3. In the end, his motivations aren’t really clear and fully explored, so his presence is not much more than Axel’s right arm, who happens to have a big “X” scar on his face. Sorry SaÏx – maybe see a therapist. At least you got a happy ending! SaÏx was one of the last Organization members to fall, in KH2. One of the last defenders of the Castle in (one my my all-time favorite KH worlds), The World That Never Was.

Another of the final defenders and members of the Organization to be vanquished at Sora’s had is – *drumroll* arguably MY FAVORITE OF THEM ALL, the incredibly hot and suave Luxord (no. X). Now – this guy is blonde. Has facial hair. Earrings. A British accent (maybe that’s just in my mind) and makes me look up his voice actor just to drool over that sweet sweet voice. He is the “Gambler of Fate” and shows up in the POTC world to basically taunt you and play a few games. Everything’s a game to this guy, even fighting. Which I can’t say he is great at… For someone able to control the element of Time, he’s kind of a pushover. But he’s still got a place in my heart – and maybe we’ll get to see him again, since he was the one who gave Sora that “wild card”… “Parlay!” more like “Let’s play strip poker pls”.

Who next… well let’s round out the oddballs with this guy. Ladies and gents, fans of the underground metal, garage bands and mohawks – I give you… Demyx (no. IX)! The Melodious Nocturne! …although there is nothing ‘nocturnal’ about him. This guy irradiates happiness and excitement and joy. I suppose he is just pretending, since Nobodies can’t really feel, rather they remember what it was like. Dem-dem too is a fan favorite. He is very young and has a different disposition than the rest of the members, he’s just your lazy, average Joe that just wants to spend his days jamming out on his Sitar. He is the first Organization member to fall in KH2, and is considered “not much of a fighter”. I would obviously disagree with this BECAUSE DANCE WATER DANCE MOTHERF***** is hell. Hell! Still, Dem-dem brings some lightheartedness to the game and the entire group, so he is a welcome addition. He is shunned even in KH3 but that’s just a side note of his… personality traits, I suppose. Never forget when he ‘drops the act’ just before turning on Sora, before what would be his final battle. Demyx controls the element of Water.

And since when it rains, it pours; and when it pours, usually it thunders (at least here in Portugal), that seems like a decently-crafted segway to the next member – Larxene (no. XII). Larxene is… a bitch. I don’t say that lightheartedly, I consider myself a feminist and I never forget that quote “when a man is assertive, he’s called a Boss. When a woman is assertive, she’s called a bitch.” But Larxene is just MEAN. She’s the mean girl of the bunch – together with her GBF Marluxia. Larxene poses some of the hardest fights in CoM but sadly, and like most female characters in this series, she’s shunned in favor of other members. This is a critic I have with the entire KH series – Aqua is virtually my favorite character but she’s really the only female character that is given storyline, relevance and overall strength. And like most fans I was DYING to see Kairi kick ass in KH3, but… we all know how that went. Not much to say about Larxene, her lightning-fast attacks and knives give her a pretty sharp demeanor and she’s not afraid to play every trick to her advantage. Standout moment is, unfortunately, her demise in CoM, fading into darkness. Oh and that laugh.

Larxene’s ‘somebody’ appears in KH: Unchained, together with Marluxia’s somebody. Marluxia (no. XI) controls the attribute of Flowers.

Yes.

Flowers.

He also boasts pink hair and – the best part – a huge pink scythe. His nickname is “The Graceful Assassin” but aside from plotting to overthrow the Organization and posing as the main antagonist in CoM, he doesn’t really do a lot of killing. The fights against him in KH2: Final Mix are among my favorites, especially with that countdown as he swings about the field. It seems he has quite a role in the Mobile game, so maybe we’ll get to see more of his backstory in the future. His final parting words were somewhat mysterious. Together with Larxene and a sneaky Axel, Marluxia betrays the Organization and his fellow members in Castle Oblivion, for his own agenda.

The assignment to Castle Oblivion introduces us to 3 other members of the organization – Vexen (no. IV), Lexaeus (no. V) and Zexion (no. VI). And 3 character tropes. The mad scientist, the jock, and the emo kid.

Vexen, aka “The Chilly Academic”, controls my favorite element, Ice. He is, ironically, killed by Axel in a flurry of flames, in a very dramatic moment in CoM. Vexen merely wants to conduct his experiments in peace – he doesn’t care who rules, what happens to the worlds, even who might or not be possessing him. He only cares about his “Replica” program. The Replica program consists on the creation of “puppets”, bodies able to function who are only missing a heart. He plays quite the role in KH3, effectively redeeming himself. Vexen is one of the creepiest characters around – he has long blond hair and green eyes, but really that ‘mad scientist’ vibe is all that transpires. Shout-out to his English voice actor, Derek Stephen Prince, for giving him a creepy vibe. He’s not much of a fighter, with his weapon of choice being an icy shield called “Frozen Pride”.

Zexion is one of the younger members of the Organization – perhaps even younger than Demyx. He is also arguably one of the smartest. Like Vexen, he cares mostly about his research and specific topics of interest *cough* Riku *cough*. However, his young demeanor reflects some innocence – he is the only member you don’t fight against in CoM, ending up murdered at the hands of Axel (with a little help from a Replica…). I really like Zexion, to battle he wields a book (the Lexicon) and would rather dazzle the opponents with some crafted illusions than hit them hard. He is one of the most prominent figures in KH3 and his reunion with his Master, Ansem the Wise, is very touching and reveals once again his innocence. He is often accompanied by Lexaeus, who is essentially a shadow of Zexion, a silent guardian to the smaller member. It is suggested he has been protecting Zexion since the latter was a small child.

Lexaeus fights Riku at one point, effectively forcing Riku to unleash the darkness in his heart just to defeat him. The Organization member is a towering figure and barely ever talks – he is just muscle, but emanates a safe and caring feel outwards, especially in his interactions with Zexion. To battle he wields a huge hammer-like weapon (which totally reminds me of Rikku’s weapons from FFX) called the Skysplitter and commands the element of Earth.

These 3 members are one half of the initial 6 apprentices, who formed the Organization. These founding members all worked together under the tutelage of Ansem the Wise and range from the scientists like Vexen and Zexion to the guardians like Lexaeus and Xaldin.

Xaldin (no. III) is very much… wasted. His virtually only appearance is in KH2, in his vain attempts to turn The Beast into a heartless. His most evident feature is his sideburns. Xaldin’s sideburns are thick, dark and intimidating. He also wields a lot of lances – like, more than 3, which he uses his wind powers to attack you with. He has a really cool attack where he forms a dragon out of wind and blows you to pieces with. Other than another “werewolf” look, that’s pretty much it. Mickey to the rescue!

Then we get to Xigbar (no. II). Xigbar, or Braig, or Luxu, OR ONE-EYED PIRATE, I’m not sure there is much of a difference, became a usual presence throughout the series. Apparently he’s been around for a loooooong time, ever since the forgotten time of the mobile game. He is a cool dude. His “As If” will go down as a pretty cool quote. Xigbar’s nickname is The Sharpshooter and he immediately stands out from the bunch. We are still unaware of his agenda and interests, not knowing to what extent he is controlled or, rather, he is controlling the narrative. He is overall an awesome character, essentially sniping you from afar with his stylish gun-like weapons. He even fakes his own death in KH3! In what is one of the best moments from the final act. His interactions with the rest of the Organization are always funny to watch, especially with his on-and-off younger lover, Demyx. The standout moment against him is undoubtedly that moment during his fight where he corners you and forces you to run around trying to avoid the millions of blue bullets being aimed at you. One of the best members overall.

And then there was I. Mr. Xemnas (no. I) aka “The Superior of the In-Between” (seriously bro, that’s the nickname you’re gonna pick?) aka “MANSEX” among the fans, aka “Xehanort’s nobody”. He is the man behind the Organization, the one really pulling all the strings. I’m gonna skip the part behind his motivations, they’re murky and the writers decide to change them between games, and I’ll get right down to the cool bits – THE SWORDS. Yes, Xemnas wields two red lightsabers. No, he is not Darth Maul, just a fan. He is calm and has a raspy voice, never really getting too flattered (that one’s yours, Axel). The coolest interaction with Xemnas is the final battle against him. Besides his black and white coat, he eventually summons a plethora of red projectiles which surround Sora and Riku, as they (in a very realistic, grounded and believable moment), deflectem with their respective keyblades. Xemnas ends up falling a bit short when compared with Ansem, Seeker of Darkness… He was just never that menacing of a villain, especially with his always calm behavior.

And that’s it. That’s the full list of the organization members. This turned out to be more of an exposé on each of the members, than anything else. I thought about trying to find real-life personalities to match each of the members, but eventually came up short on that. Organization XIII’s struggle to “be whole” and regain the part of their humanity they had lost – their soul, the ability to feel, always struck me as a really interesting motivation. For quite some time, the idea that you could shed the part of you that is able to “feel” struck me as something good, something to be envious of. I was, of course, wrong – even the dark feelings within us are what gives us the ability to connect and empathize with others.

So be sure to deflect those projectiles, and someone PLEASE give my number to Luxord,

-João A. (Pachiren)

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zdbztumble · 5 years

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“Chain of Memories” revisited

(NOTE: My only experience playing this game is with the remake for the PS2, and so all my comments, and all my memories, derive from that, not the GBA original.)

It’s been interesting, going through the Kingdom Hearts series again this year, to see lines of praise and criticism I wasn’t aware of before. In the case of Chain of Memories, I wasn’t aware of some of the objections made to this game’s story and gameplay. Apparently, it’s been faulted for abandoning the set-up at the end of KH I in favor of a completely new story, it established the series’ penchant for nonsensical mystery and needlessly convoluted plotting, and the gameplay is too divorced from the rest of the series.

I can’t say that I find the first and the third to be justified critiques. To begin with the third point, I really enjoy the card-based mechanic. It took me longer to get the hang of it this time than I remembered from my teenage years, but once I did, it was a lot of fun to play around with. If I have any complaints about the mechanic, it’s that the game becomes a little too easy once you unlock enough sleights and grow your deck to a certain size. By the time I reached the end of the second set of world cards, it was only boss battles that offered any real challenge. But I still enjoyed building decks and watching the sleight animation.

As for the idea that the game abandoned the set-up from KH I - I just can’t see that at all. It’s stated more than once that Sora and friends came to Castle Oblivion on the trail of Riku and King Mickey, and until Repliku is revealed as such, he feeds into their feelings about that search. This game was also produced when KH II was already announced, and was conceived of as an intermediary title; even if it had deviated wildly from the set-up at the end of KH I, this would have been the place to do it.

And that is something worth remembering when assessing CoM - the state of things at the time it was made. It’s easy to look over the entire series, with all its strange naming conventions, egregious retcons, and neglected and abandoned character lines, but when CoM was made, there was only the one game, and an upcoming sequel. To think of CoM as a side game, was appropriate at the time, even with the impact it would have on KH II’s story.

However - with that said, hindsight has not always been kind to CoM, because the game did set trends that would end up metastasizing and bringing the whole series down. It did indeed establish the precedent of teasing future titles and stories with vague allusions, set-up without a pay-off. In this case, with KH II on the way - and the fact that KH II did pay off the teasing in CoM - the mystery made for an effective element in the larger series. But efforts to replicate the success of that mystery in later titles were often abysmal. A very similar story goes for this game’s attempt to have its cake and eat it too with the question on whether Sora would ever remember Namine - KH II found a way to pull that off in a satisfying manner that preserved a bittersweet and sacrificial element, but other games could never duplicate that feat.

This game also started to demonstrate the pacing issues that later games would make far worse. One aspect of the pacing was out of the developers’ hands - the loss of the rights to Tarzan cost them a world, and by moving Halloweentown up to fill the empty slot in the first set of world cards and sticking the 100 Acre Wood into the second, that set of world cards feels light and rushed compared to the first. But there are other pacing problems within this game. The ratio of cutscenes to gameplay is often awkward, especially with the need to pass through two sets of scenes every time you move up one floor. The repetitive nature of these cutscenes, with stilted dialogue covering things the player already knows, also emerged here, in a more pronounced way than in KH I that would only grow and fester.

I also found some of the leaps of logic more of a strain on credulity here than in the first game. To complain about logic in Kingdom Hearts is always going to be a little ridiculous, I know, but the first game did manage a better internal logic, at least up until the very end. It was a fantasy world’s logic, well freed from many normal constraints, but it held up. Some of the moves here, from Goofy’s deductions about memories early in the game, to when Donald and Goofy do or don’t appear in cutscenes, to Sora’s assumptions when he offers to let Namine wipe his memories, just didn’t hold water even internally, and that’s another trend that would worsen with time.

And then...there’s the villains.

Organization XIII has always been better as a concept and a collective than broken down into its individual components IMO. In this game - where it was still just “the Organization” - that collective is never truly dealt with. Its plans and its threat are the tease, the shadowy image on the horizon that will ultimately be addressed in KH II, its only representation within the game being Axel and Vexen. The villains here are a renegade faction within the Organization, and that faction is essentially only two members, Marluxia and Larxene. And I have to be honest - they just don’t work for me.

Playing through KH I again this year led me to finally love and appreciate Riku as a character, but no such change of heart happened with these characters. Axel and Larxene remain utterly repellent to me. I get that Axel is meant to be smug, and Larxene’s meant to be a sadistic bitch, but such characters tread a very thin line between being effective and compelling antagonists that enhance a story, or being insufferable black holes that derail a story. Both fall firmly in the latter category IMO, and the only reason they don’t do more damage is because of their limited screen time. As for Marluxia - I was shocked, playing through this game again, how little screen time he has, and how limited the build-up to him is. Couple that with his non-existent personality, and I really can’t believe that this guy was brought back in KH III, let alone the greater lore. This, of course, marks another trend began in this title - underwhelming and/or detrimental antagonists in black cloaks given one too many monologues.

There are also issues unique to this game, and in some cases to the remake of it that I’ve played. Summons are much more hit and miss than in the first game (Donald and Genie are essentially worthless in my experience), and not having some of them available for most of the story in a given world can get frustrating when you want to play with them but the game moves so quickly due to the ease of combat. Line readings in cutscenes are often awkward, and Sora’s teenage voice, while unavoidable, is incredibly distracting.

And there is one criticism I’ve seen of this game’s story that I have to agree with: the lack of a role for the Disney worlds in the story. I don’t always agree with the way this criticism is put. The fact that none of those worlds and characters are really there, and are constructed from fragments of memory, put some limits on what agency they could have in the larger plot. And I don’t object out of hand to the fact that this turns a good chunk of the game into covering old territory; the level design, world-plot tweaks, and battle mechanic all make it a unique enough experience from KH I. But while some of the Disney worlds tie in thematically to the larger story (Halloweentown and Neverland in particular stood out on that point), there was a huge missed opportunity to tie them into the actual narrative.

Consider this possibility: in each Disney world, there is a fragment of Sora’s memory - his memories of his past, before the first game - that is unlocked by completing the world. These could give us some backstory on his life on Destiny Islands, show more of his friendships, and give more detail on Riku and Kairi’s character - for example, Alice tricking the Red Queen (an excellent scene and character beat, BTW) could trigger a memory of a time when Kairi displayed similar quick thinking, early in her friendship with Sora. As the game goes on, these unlocked memories would become more distorted, with Namine gradually worming into them - first as a figure on the periphery, then co-existing with Riku and Kairi in their childhood, then ultimately replacing Kairi. This idea already exists in the game through dialogue - some of it quite well-written - but this would have been far more impactful IMO, and expanded the lore of the series in the areas that actually deserve it.

Now - that’s a lot of negatives, and you may be thinking right now that I became disenchanted with CoM after this play-through. But in fact, I didn’t. As I said, the flaws it has that became trends aren’t nearly as ugly here as they would become, and the flaws it has unique to itself aren’t deal breakers. And this game has elements that are executed so well, that they make up for nearly all of these flaws, and turn this game into what I feel - at least at this point, with more games to revisit - is the best character piece in the series. And the character in question is none other than our hero, Sora.

To begin with - even more than replaying KH I, replaying CoM demonstrates how far Sora’s IQ has fallen in recent titles. The Sora of DDD and KH III would have been slack-jawed and buggy-eyed, constantly baffled by the nature of Castle Oblivion, throughout the game. This Sora catches on quickly to how these projections of memory and people work, which is quite welcome. As in KH I, he is still clearly a childlike teen with a lot of zest and optimism, but he isn’t incapable of getting down to business, and he’s realistically triggered by setbacks and trauma.

And boy, does he come in for trauma on this game. If other aspects of this game suffer in their pacing, the slow build to Sora’s disoriented, lost, and broken state of mind when the truth about Namine comes out is fantastic in this game. The way Namine is revealed over time plays a big role in that, even if the player can see it coming, but the timing on when Sora shifts gears is wonderfully placed, the dual memory moment being a highlight. When he breaks with Donald and Goofy, it feels truly earned, and that dovetails nicely into the Destiny Islands story material. Prior to this playthrough, I actually remembered Sora going even darker - for some reason, I thought he was the one to kill Vexen. But the grim, even ruthless, look on his face when he defeats Axel and finishes Marluxia are enough to sell that having his mind scrambled leaves Sora in a dark place. I daresay that the angry and fragmented person he becomes over the course of the game should have been the model for Roxas’s personality...but my unpopular thoughts on Roxas are best saved for after I replay KH II.

It’s the breaking of Sora’s mind, more than any scheme of Marluxia’s, that really drive the conflict in this story, and Namine’s role in that as the reluctant breaker turned savior is quite effective. I can’t say she’s at the top of my list of favorite characters from this series, but she is a unique and engaging presence, who I’ll have more to say about after replaying KH II. The role Repliku plays in the story is even better IMO, even if clustering all his material in the back half of the game seems a poor pacing decision. I don’t know whether this was intentional or not, but the sheer level of vindictiveness and hatred that Repliku expresses towards Sora, and the reactions that draws out of him, were a great way to indirectly express any lingering fears or doubts Sora might have developed about his friend after the events of KH I. (Though one must ask why the real Riku didn’t appear in Sora’s memories of Monstro or Neverland.)

Lastly, we come to Kairi, who plays a significant role in this game without ever actually appearing in it before a clip during the credits. That Kairi, and Namine, serve almost entirely as objects for the hero to save is unfortunate, as is the fact that Kairi is more intrinsically tied to the heart of this game’s story than she is KH III’s. But that said - at least she is relevant. I’ll also credit this game for, intentionally or not, showing how unhealthy a single-minded obsession on protecting and saving the “princess” can become.

Where Kairi’s role really comes home to roost is in this game introducing the phrase that Kairi is the most important person to Sora. That they were more than friends, and that they were bound together, was well-established in KH I, but the point is really driven home here, largely through Namine’s machinations but also in smaller details, such as the dialogue given over to the three friends on Destiny Islands. This side to their relationship is so stressed, and so central to this game, that I really can’t understand all the comments about KH III “finally” making it canon - Sora’s side of it, at least, has been so from Day 1 of this series.

The one missed note in this aspect of the plot is in the dialogue right before the final floor begins, discussing the fake memories. Just a word from Namine about how her fake memories held the power they did because they were built on truth, with herself grafted over Kairi, would have been nice. But even without that beat, it’s a wonderfully handled story element. I really can’t put into words how satisfying I find Sora’s arc in this game, or the fact that it actually is central to the game, the primary thread in its narrative, something that shouldn’t have to be remarked upon in a series with one central protagonist. For the strength of that arc, and the joy of the gameplay, I still give Chain of Memories high marks. It can’t compare to its predecessor for overall quality, but what strengths it has overpower so much else about it.

I suppose now I should revisit Reverse/Rebirth...the tax one has to pay in a proper re-visit before getting to KH II...bleh.

#z's crits #kingdom hearts #chain of memories #sora #critique #commentary #disney #square enix #kairi #riku

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oldbluethings · 5 years

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Book recs: psychic detective tropes

Hey, in honor of me procrastinating on my fic writing, it's time for another list of book recs! I thought I'd feature one of my all-time favorite tropes: the psychic detective.

That's right, folks. They're not just detectives. They're also psychic! Which is really kind of cheating, when you think about it... And, in classic noir tradition, they're all written in first person! Yay!

Let me just state up front that none of these are what you might call high art. Okay, so maybe John Connolly’s books come close, at times, but the rest just... uh, don't? But, despite their many flaws, I still found these series entertaining. So just wait for a kindle sale, maybe, or check your local library before investing money.

All right, let’s do this!

First up, the Mindspace Series by Alex Hughes.

Do you like emotional whump? Like, a lot? How about a protagonist who’s just been beat down by life? And is continuously shit on by everyone around him? Maybe just a little bit? Or, maybe, a lot? Then this series might be for you.

Poor, poor Adam is a telepath (and a clairvoyant) in a messed up future where advanced tech is no longer allowed due to some war that wiped out a whole slew of people. He's gotten kicked out of his psychic guild—which is essentially a mandatory union—for being a drug addict (which is not his fault!) and now works for the local police department as a kind of probationary consultant, solving crime and trying not to backslide into addiction.

Oh, and he gets shit on by his coworkers. A lot. I know I already mentioned that, but it's big.

Look, the constant berating Adam takes from all sides gets a bit over done in the first book in this series—even I thought it was a bit much and I'm a whump fanatic. But that tapers off to a reasonable level of whump in subsequent books. Some may also find his partner (and crush) Detective Cherubino annoying. I'm not personally bothered by the Angry Woman Cop trope. But she gets toned down a bit, as well.

They're fun books, and the characters do get some room to grow. The world-building is a little sparse in the first installment, but gets more detailed and more interesting as the series moves along, especially when we get to visit the psychic’s guild. And Adam’s an appealing character, even when he’s a whiny little bitch.

Next, the Psycop Series by Jordan Castillo Price

Hmmm, I'd rate these books at about the level of competent fanfiction. That is to say: fun to read, but also with some plotting, pacing, and retcon issues. Still enjoyable enough to recommend, though.

Victor Bane is a medium: he sees dead people. And talks to them. He’s also a police detective, working as part of a team of psychics. Oh, and he has issues. A lot of issues. And he's gay. Yes, this series does feature some gay romance (with explicit sex) but the romance is not really the main focus.

The first book in this series is... Well, it's not great. It feels like the author wrote it as a standalone and then tacked a series on as an afterthought. I mean, let's be honest here, that's probably what happened. Some characters and plot points get introduced and then, sort of, immediately dropped in the next book. The author has only a vague sense of how police departments might work or what a detective’s job entails. You’ll see what I mean... Wasn't enough to put me off the rest of the series, though, so there's that.

The books become more competent and more enjoyable as you go. And longer, which is a plus if you’re worried about how much bang you get for your buck. (That was a sex joke, btw) Victor is the classic noir character: always in over his head, but armed to the teeth with sarcasm and ingenuity. He's very endearing.

I'm happy to report that this series does not contain a lot of relationship angst, if that's not your thing. It's sometimes my thing, but then I also enjoy just reading about happy, supportive people in uncomplicated relationships.

Okay, so, not great writing, but fun enough and easily digestible. Also, nice for those of us who enjoy a little porn mixed into our plots.

Moving on...

The Felix Castor Series by Mike Carey

Mike Carey is a good writer, and these books are good.

Felix is an exorcist in London. That's a thing in this AU, and the world has some interesting stuff to say about how ghosts and demons, and werewolves (loup garou) work. Felix plays a flute to mesmerize ghosts, and he dabbles a bit in helping the police solve murders. That sounds a little silly, but this series is dark. Bad shit happens, people die, and crap goes down. Warning: dark.

There's an overarching plot about Felix’s friend who’s been possessed by a demon—partially his fault—that I didn't find very compelling. But each book has a separate, standalone mystery to solve, which are much more fun. The first book takes the trope of a succubus teaming up with the main character and turns it on its head. They don't end up together. I find it very refreshing.

The Charlie Parker Series by John Connolly

If you have some time to spare reading, like a few years, then you might enjoy this series. There are a shit ton of books here—I've actually lost count and don't feel like looking it up, but... it's a lot.

I've saved the darkest for last, too. These books are some dark shit. Read with caution. Think Stephen King meets Hannibal, maybe. There is torture and child death and other equally unsavory stuff. I honestly don't think I could go back and reread the first few books in the series now that I'm a mom. There is some seriously messed up shit here.

Have I scared you away yet? No? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Charlie Parker used to be a cop, but he quit after his wife and daughter were brutally murdered. Now, he's a private detective. Sort of. Or maybe he's a pawn in an ancient war between the divine and the profane. He might see ghosts. Or maybe they're demons. Or angels. This series sees very little distinction between the two. He might be something not quite human.

It is hard for me to describe this entire series. But it basically follows the rest of my recs in consisting of a series of standalone mysteries that advance an overarching plot.

Charlie is dark and dour—he's seen shit that no one should see. And done terrible things. But I find him to be a very interesting character. The series also features a canon gay couple: Angel and Louis. Like Charlie, they are not good people, but maybe righteous people.

I adore this series for the writing (like Stephen King at his best), the world-building, for the glimpses we get into the darkness that exists just under the surface, and of the creatures that lurk there in the honeycomb world.

#book recommendations #noir #mystery #supernatural

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sunlethscape · 5 years

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The Wicked King Thoughts

this isn’t going to be an edited and professional review like my gaming reviews are lol. i just finished this at 2am last night and i legit DID NOT sleep well because i have so many emotions about this book...many of them that only got more negative as i talked about it with my best friend? which makes me sad because The Cruel Prince is my favorite fantasy book ever!!! maybe favorite book ever periodt!!!

so uhhhhhh here are my thoughts, i need to get them out and move on, especially since the wait for Queen of Nothing will be so long. ALL THE SPOILERS, OBVS so please don’t read if you haven’t read it yet and don’t want to be spoiled!

i think most of my issues stem from the fact that i think the book needed to be a lot longer. in a trilogy, the second book is the most important, in my opinion, because it serves as the bridge between the beginning and the end--there is no other bridge beside this book. and this book was really short and felt like it glossed over a lot?

there is a 5 month time skip at the beginning, which doesn’t feel like the best move because seeing judge get acclimated to being cardan’s seneschal and all that entailed on a daily basis, both in terms of the physical stress and in terms of her feelings with cardan, would’ve been 1) great and 2) necessary for their relationship.

jurdan is supposed to be this enemies to lovers trope, but the only way that this trope really works is if there is a significant amount of development in the relationship, or else the transition between enemies to lovers feels jarring and just doesn’t work. i didn’t see that transition here...they’re both very broken people, who have lacked the knowledge of what trust is for much of their life, but they do know it to some extent. i needed a lot more from them, a lot more development and also not what feels a retcon of what they learned of each other? like at least maybe cardan showing some hesitation or /something/ while sleeping with other people when he supposedly likes Jude, Really likes her enough to be unable to get her out of his head, enough to just scrawl her name on a note over and over again. they kind of do what they did in The Cruel Prince -- be mad at each other and have some sexual tension -- but just for the span of a book. it feels like there wasn’t any development, other than getting to know each other a bit more, having sex, getting close to becoming somewhat honest and then at the end that’s just obliterated. with cardan laughing a beat too late from the rest at the end, i know he has to have some plan set in motion, and it’s the only plan that will keep jude safe, but it’s still ?????? you got married literally the night before. which it wasn’t even a marriage “ceremony” that sat right because this is where they should’ve been honest about each other, at least to some noticeable degree. it would’ve made the betrayal at the end better, too!

the betrayal/ending felt incredibly rushed. i remember checking the amount of pages left and being like...what’s going to happen in such few pages? and for an entire ending that leaves the reader shocked as well as an epilogue (which did nothing, really) to happen in such a short time felt very rushed.

there was also just /another/ time skip of another month. so we essentially skip over 6 months total in this book, and it feels...incomplete. i think the book needed to be double its length in order to carry the amount of development that it needed. it needed more build up toward all of its major plot points -- ghost betraying jude, taryn betraying jude, and prince cardan suddenly being in full control of his powers.

the last one, in particular, bothers me because we spend the entire book seeing him as a king that is more clever than he lets on but is ultimately still messy and rather naive. we get no build up toward him being more in tune with his powers -- it’s not something even jude knows at the beginning, and with being outcasted from the family his whole life, i doubt he received much training. it’s glossed over as him “learning scheming” well in the month that jude spent underwater but...again, that does nothing for the reader. it didn’t feel cheap, but it just wasn’t developed at all, so i was confused as to how he suddenly had perfect control. you need subtlety in books, but you also need to build up to certain things.

locke explicitly trying to kill jude also felt ????? he’s always been extremely shady even from the beginning of the cruel prince, and jude does threaten him pretty explicitly here, but we’ve gotten no hint that he’s capable of murder before, as far as i remember. he’s been conniving and sneaky and trashy and unfaithful, but he hasn’t been shown to even think of murder as a valid option. taryn and him are annoying and this entire family thing should’ve been resolved, or reached a climax at least with all parties aware of everything, in this book. like...he can’t just have murdered jude and then he mostly disappears from jude’s mind and the general picture until the next book lol.

i feel like holly black has created this amazing universe with such fascinating characters but isn’t letting them get the time to develop. we could’ve gotten so much more about nicasia, her mom, the blacksmith who is suddenly a really important player but that we see in two freaking scenes, about the court of shadows (especially ghost since????????????????? like yeah you served prince dain but bitch he’s dead now lmao WHAT you’re siding with what will destroy the land???? okay go off i guess), taryn, just...everyone. i’m puzzled as to why some scenes are in the book, like heather being turned into a cat or whatever and the scene with eldred’s past lover who just decides not to help jude even after opening up to her (which was a nice character building moment, yes, but he’s not even a major player in this and it wasn’t a necessity since he didn’t even help her and the scene doesn’t do anything meaningful for her)

trying to remove my bias as a shipper and lover of good romance, i find myself unabel to agree with people when they say romance isn’t at the forefront of this story. sure, political intrigue, war, scheming etc might all be at the forefront...but so is romance very much. the book’s synopsis touches on the romance. the book’s title is a reference to jude’s love interest. jude and cardan are the only two characters that get page time throughout the entire book (even if i wish there could’ve been more cardan, though i’m not sure if this is becuase i love him so dearly) and are the lead characters. the romance /is/ a very important part about this story, it’s why so many things (including the ending) happen. and i’m sad that what is the best enemies-to-lovers trope i’ve come across was just...nothing close to that at all in this book. it’s a messy relationship, they’re messy people, but i feel like we should be somewhere else with them if the next book is the last. the pacing was really not great here, at all. some people complained that the first book took too slow to start, which i found the pacing to be on the slow side but i was more than okay with it, but this was way too fast. if all these events spanned from the front to back of this book, then sure that’s fine but it needed to be a longer book. many things feel underdeveloped.

i read it in one sitting so sure, it went fast for me. i’m a huge fan of the first book and this is the first book i’ve anticipated so strongly in a very long time. but i was hooked on the first book, as well, and not only did i not read that so fast but there was also proper development for everything so i was very satisfied at the end despite it being technically more of a cliffhanger than the end of this book.

i just...i’m sad to be disappointed because i’ve been thinking about this book nonstop for months? : ( i love this series and jude and cardan dearly so i’m sad to feel so disappointed. to bring up another author whose books I’ve enjoyed, Sarah J Maas tends to fluctuate in quality but she spends /so much time/ developing everything, from the world to her (arguably less interesting) characters. if this book incorporated that aspect of her writing, we would’ve learned more about the lower courts, especially the court of termites, learned more about this entire universe teeming with so many possibilities. A Court of Mist and Fury, the second book in the A Court of Thorns and Roses trilogy, is a stupendous book. it’s dedicated to some action and plenty of political intrigues, but it absolutely nailed developing every single main character in a pretty sizeable cast -- especially the main couple, which desperately needed the development since they were enemies in the first book. Heir of Fire is the middle book in the The Throne of Glass series, and that entire book is dedicated to developing the protagonist, her relationship to the world and to who becomes her real love interest.

these two books in those series are really popular because they spent so much time just simply fleshing everything out...i feel like The Wicked King just jumps from event to action at a rapid pace, with some minimal character building in between. i loved seeing an even darker jude, but there’s something missing in her characterization that i can’t quite put my finger on, and while i loved cardan’s development, i feel he wasn’t around enough. maybe if the book was longer, i wouldn’t have these issues, because it’s the easiest way to fix them. idk. i’m usually not one for multiple POVs (i don’t mind or love them, whatever fits the story best is fine) but i think this book would’ve really benefitted from that here.

tl;dr i’m v sad that i’m disappointed in what was totally my most anticipated book...maybe ever? ;o; especially since a lot of people seem to have loved it, some even more than the cruel prince, and while i totally respect that and see where it comes from, i can’t count myself among those folks. idk. i’m sad and impatient for Queen of Nothing!! feel free to reply/cry with me if you’re disappointed with anything or just dealing with the nearly unbearable sadness and emptiness of finishing a book of a series that you care so much about.

@ holly black

#the wicked king #wicked king #the cruel prince #the wicked king spoilers #jurdan #jude/cardan #jude x cardan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #also That scene in ch 15 needed to be longer tbh sue me I WAITED SO LONG FOR IT OK

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mizume · 6 years

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Mizme Finished Berseria (Zestiria 2.0?)

Holy hell this game is such an improvement

After Zestiria, which as we’ve mentioned really just serves as a 40 hour advertisement for Berseria and the anime adaptation, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect out of the followup title.

Well, nothing too complicated: Berseria is an incredibly vast improvement over its predecessor with just a handful of small hiccups.

Going straight into a classic breakdown and then finishing with a handful of gripes.

Combat and Gameplay

Berseria made a significant overhaul to the button layouts of the LMBS combat system but there was really just two very simple changes that returns LMBS to its proper fast paced form:

1. We’re not limited to a 4 hit maximum chain

2. The branching pathways for arte inputs are completely customizable.

What does this mean in Tales of terms. It means you can set each individual node of your arte trees to any arte you know and the revamped soul system functions much more similarly to Xillia’s base AP system then Graces or Zestirias AP/SP systems respectively.

What does this mean in laymans terms. It means you have so much more control over your combo construction and combat feels more reminiscent of Xillia, meaning face paced intensely reactive battles in which you have (near) complete control over what you’re doing.

I’d like to take a moment to explain the new LMBS and go into why its such a significant improvement.

In this new system, artes are determined by a maximum count of Souls. Starting with 3 and gaining up to 5 Souls dictate your maximum current arte chain length. Chains can be cancelled using Soul Breaks, the new LMBS battle gimmick for Berseria. With this system, each character has a unique Soul Break arte and the arte chain returns to the 0 position. Souls can be gained in the heat of combat by inflicting stun and other status ailments or by landing a finishing blow on enemies.

What this means is we now have an insane system in which you can use 5 artes, Break Soul cancel, use 4 more artes (assuming you don’t regain the expended soul withing those 4 artes) Break Soul cancel again, perform 3 artes and finish with a Mystic Arte (which restores Soul and expends Blast gauge, a carry over mechanic from Zestiria).

The sheer amount of variability is incredibly reminiscent of the free for all LMBS of Xillia and by extension its predecessors Vesperia and pre Vesperia tales games.

The only clunk in the road is the awkward remapping of attacks. All the face buttons have been rehashed to attack commands in order to allow the player character to be in a constant free run state freeing them from the 2D axis as a default. This necessitates that we maintain the 4 arte node tree from Graces/Zestiria. While the new system is incredibly gratifying, I feel that retaining the directional inputs combined with the 4 attack buttons and removing the node tree entirely would have been incredible. Absolute freedom of arte inputs is the only thing stopping Berseria’s combat system from standing with Vesperia and Xillia2 as the best and cleanest combat in the Tales series.

It’s almost as though what i’m saying is the more we emulate older LMBS systems the better the game works because we know that the system works. How strange. Bring back classic LMBS i’m begging here Bamco.

The Plot

So, this is a bit of a mixed bag for me. The first half and last fourth of Berseria’s plot are carried by solid world building, good character driven story, and Velvet being metal as fuck.

There’s a chunk in the middle where it strays just a bit. Can you guess where that is, yeah its where all of the Zestiria allusions start coming out.

Berseria interestingly has the same weird problem that Zestiria had albeit to a much lesser extent. It, in a strange roundabout way, felt like a Zestiria sequel. There are so many allusions to Zestiria in the back half of the game to the point where I guess its assumed that you’ve played and finished Zestiria. This in it of itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it feels odd coming from a game that isn’t meant to be treated as a proper prequel.

For example as Scrubbing and I have discussed: Xillia2 harkens back to Xillia1 constantly, but that’s to be expected. Its in the title, Xillia2 would imply and assume that their core audience has played Xillia1. Berseria isn’t titled Zestiria2. The plot should be proper and function as in independent being without assumption that you’ve played Zestiria.

Now i’m not talking about small easter egg stuff. I love that stuff and it made me incredibly glad to find them. Small things like the town that would later become Lastonbell, Lothringen tower that would later crumble and become the City of Lohgrin. That stuff is great.

What i’m referring to are major callbacks and emotional pulls that only work if you’ve played both games. The Edna reveal, and the Maotelus reveal at the end are the two that come to mind immediately. Those moments really don’t make any sense unless you’re aware of the context from Zestiria.

It’s a very minor gripe, and ultimately it actually retroactively defines Zestiria’s world building much more clearly and makes it stronger as a result.

I few things that deserve mentioning since I bitched about them so much in the last review:

Berseria’s villains were standard fare. They’re an incredibly improvement on Heldalf but Artorius is a villain subtype we’ve seen much better realized in past Tales games and Innominat 100% feels like young Yggdrasil right down to “but sisterrrrrrrr”.

The retcons and explanations of how malevolence works feels like a double edged blade. On the one hand it again retroactively makes Zestiria’s world building so much stronger (which mind you is still ridiculous). But at the same time, having such a basic “good vs. evil” mechanic in the world build feels very very limiting. Its much better explained but still feels clunky. These are things that Zestiria should have simply done properly in the first place.

In the end, Berseria’s plot is solid and driven by a good narrative with the proper twists and plot building that Zestiria so desperately needed.

The Cast

OH BABY HERE WE GO. Berseria’s cast is great. That’s basically all that needs to be said. It finally feels like we’re playing a Tales game. We’ve got a great set of characters here each working under their own motivations with goals and backstories that influence their decisions and free will.

I think I can say that Velvet has shoved Yuri off his pedestal of being the most metal Tales protagonist to date with an absolutely incredible and over the top drive for revenge.

One of the key themes in Berseria is “to choose ones own path” and it shows here. Its incorporated in different ways for every character and it manifests as something that feels organic and smooth. Its a heavy contrast to Zestiria where it always feels like the party is together simply because they have to be.

If I have any complaints at all here it would be Magilou, simply because the incorporation of her backstory feels very jarring. It kind of comes across all at once with little explanation similar to the weird and jarring plot reveals in Zestiria. Aside from that, Eizen’s Creed, Rokurou’s conviction, Eleanor’s search for her own truth, Velvet’s quest for closure, and Laphicet’s growth as a person are all recurrent themes that are incorporated into the main storyline. It feels great. It feels like we’re playing a Tales game.

Conclusion

Berseria is a game that retroactively makes Zestiria better. But is perhaps ultimately made somewhat worse by its connection to Zestiria (jury’s out on that one to be honest)

It’s good that Bamco has finally found an iteration of this combat system that feels like it actually works, and the plot and world building feel like a proper return to form for the Tales series.

Just a handful of things stop this from being within my top tier of Tales games, most of which involve the strange nature of Zestiria and Berseria’s development. They really do feel like they were intended to be a single game, like notes got lost during development and ended up with wrong development teams.

A great beginning entry to the series and a good JRPG all around.

#Mizume Reviews #more unedited rambling #this is going to happen whenever a game makes me think about its development #for better or for worse

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qutemag · 7 years

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The movie guy reviews: Transformers -- The Last Knight

Article by Benjamin Harkin

Here we are. Every critic relishes this review, and many online have already let forth the torrent of bile that Transformers: The Last Knight deserves. Every Transformers movie I go in hoping I’ll be somewhat surprised that the movie reaches a baseline of ‘okay’, and bar maybe the third one which was brighter, more colourful and contained John Malkovich, every time I walk out frustrated and despairing. People say Michael Bay is an auteur – an auteur of what? Glorified tech demos? Showing off what the Industrial Light & Magic team can do? Because that’s all these movies have going for them. This is evident with the multiple aspect ratios, that’s right, IMDb records this movie showing three different aspect ratios, and another place thought the trailer had eight. You have black bars darting all around the image as the movie crops itself to fit around funky new cameras Michael Bay wants to toy with for the sponsorship. It is the weirdest, most distracting shit to see a movie switching aspect ratios all the way through for no discernible reason.

The film feels like six films meshed into one, or perhaps six plot threads focus-grouped into oblivion and smooshed together in a way that made some executive in a high-backed chair shift lazily in their seat to turn off the preview footage and say “fuck it, that’ll do” for the three editors to hastily clip together in something resembling a two and a half hour film. There’s the scene with a post-apocalyptic New York, ravaged after the climax of Transformers 4, with Transformers living in hiding of the anti-Transformers defense force set up to catch them, now that Optimus Prime is paralysed, orbiting the earth in a shell of his former self. Some foolhardy boys break into a ruined stadium with a giant jet engine ploughed into the field, saying self-aware bulldust like “we’re kids, we always get away with stuff!” Yes, that’s a fucking line in this movie. And not the worst by a mile. Then prowling the streets, looking under rubble, they run into a Transformer hiding itself under scrap. Couldn’t radar easily detect the hulking masses like Transformers for the military to destroy? Apparently fucking not, if a Transformer hides among some rubble, that’s a-okay. The kids then run into a girl, a strong-willed, adventurous-sounding 14-year-old who’s making her own way among the debris jungle and a close friend to this Transformer that gets mortally wounded by a fighter jet trying to save the kids. And do you think Bay uses this setup to anchor the film with a young heroine, make a movie that takes a U-turn on everything that the hypermasculine, Megan Fox-ass loving, dumb as a post joke-making crap that has defined his Transformers series? Fuck no, all the boys dialogue towards this girl is along the lines of “wow…she’s hot!” and “Are you single?” Fucking gross and sad is all I can say. Michael Bay can’t wait to get started on the explosions, objectification, and immaturity. The young girl doesn’t do anything of note in the movie, hell, I can’t even remember her name. She gets sidelined at the halfway point, literally left behind in a junkyard with her BB-8 rip-off robot. Michael Bay instead wheels out the contractually obliged Megan Fox stand-in to be the impetus for Mark Wahlberg to do something in the movie and crack a few lines about how single they both are. Wahlberg was probably given acting advice to approach the character by showing a face in deep thought over how utterly hot it would be if he and the Oxford tour-guide Megan Fox stand-in lady banged with the Transformers watching.

“Are you single?” proves to be a theme in this movie, more than any kind of motif or any of the half-mumbled prattling about values that Optimus Prime manages to heave out of this exhaustingly mind-numbing, overbloated movie. Characters are defined by whether they’re single or not, not whether they fight for honesty, or freedom, or love, or caring for friends, or whether they want to be friends with giant robots. Nah it’s the fact that Mark Wahlberg and Megan Fox stand-in in this movie are on steroids and the camera treats them like they’re perpetually posing for Tinder. Characters from earlier in the series, like John Turturro, make manically unintelligible appearances to rant about doomsday situations. A physics scientist gets laughed at when he tells the president the world will end in roughly three days. Optimus Prime manages to awake himself out of being basically a dead robot to shoot himself somehow across the galaxy onto his home planet of Cybertron, which he knows was destroyed but fuck it, why not go there for refuge? And why not fall back to earth if you’re a dead shell of a Transformer? Nah, the logic in this movie is adverse to science or plot logic, or continuity, or good filmmaking, his dead body can float across the galaxy instead! Cybertron is now run by some Sorceress Robot Woman who twists Optimus into getting Cybertron fixed as a planet by colliding it with earth to suck up the planet’s core. Fucking who knows. Cybertron somehow flies across the universe in the time it takes this movie to skim across five other unresolved plot threads, like why Mark Wahlberg has a spiderly amulet thing that’s super powerful and what he is actually supposed to do with it, or what the whole deal was with the three-headed dragon robot that appears at points throughout the film, or why Megatron wants to break out his mates Suicide Squad-style or why the humans are willing to work with Megatron who was the bane of everyone for the previous four movies, or why John Goodman’s cigar-chomping Transformer gets blown up by rockets and falls over, presumed dead as the camera cuts to a new scene, then he just randomly reappears later on, or why Bumblebee fought Nazis in WWII. And the location used for the scene of Nazis being blown to smithereens, full with Swastika banners draped over the looming building? That my friends is Winston Churchill’s house. I’m sure Britain’s favourite wartime leader, known for everything Hitler was not, span so hard in his grave he tunnelled to the earth’s core.

Stanley Tucci plays a drunk Merlin in a flashback to the Dark Ages, for reasons never fully explored, despite being another character in the present for the previous movie. The Great Tucci Retcon. Oh and there’s Anthony Hopkins too. A wisened masterclass of an actor, made remarkably awkward and a total caricature for a man who used to be Hannibal Lector. He’s in this, 110% for the paycheck. Bay makes him say ‘duuuude’ and ‘that’s a bitch-ass car!’ because it’s cool to make grandpa say hip things sometimes. He has a robot butler assistant who’s also a borderline homicidal maniac for reasons that are never explained. He also has a WWI tank Transformer who has ‘robot-dementia’ or whatever which is an interesting concept far too intriguing for a movie this unforgiveably terrible so the Transformer is yet another sidelined idea in a litany of focus-grouped half-baked brain farts.

The entire movie is unfunny, every joke (and there are heaps, all undercutting the otherwise dead-serious grit and aimed at the lowest denominator possible while conscious) hits like a fucking sledgehammer wielded by lemurs on crack, rushed in delivery, painfully without any semblance of cleverness or wit, the setup too predictable and the payoff so fucking moronic, with editing so poor in timing that a joke about the butler robot playing the sweeping Transformer themes on an organ to give the scene a gravitas was completely lost when Anthony Hopkins cranked his sad, demur grimace up to the butler so slow you could’ve gone to the bathroom and back and the joke would still be playing out. I’ve said it once after Pain & Gain and I’ll say it again: Michael Bay cannot direct comedy and he shouldn’t. For whatever reason the gift of a funny bone doesn’t materialise in the filmmaking process.

The fight scenes are meh. Every one lacks any weight because frankly you don’t give a fuck about any of this while watching. You don’t care which Transformer fights which because they’re all so underutilised and shallow that you could probably get more pizzazz in banging your stapler against the computer mouse on a slow day at the office. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how half these scenes of metal clunking against metal were storyboarded. And they don’t mean anything either, Transformers are rarely shown actually being killed, and yet the ones shown dying without any fights or lead-up (because the editing is god-awful and rushed) are full on bleeding weird green blood which is probably too violent for a young kid, which is where this gritty, dark-looking, yet oddly cartoonish spaghetti-works is squarely aimed.

I should probably end this review somewhere. This sounds like a good place. I could go on and honestly, part of me felt the usual catharsis of a critic tearing a big-budget Hollywood mess to shreds, and giving the finger to this kind of spiteful, audience-hating focus-grouped piss that flows through the summer action blockbuster gate from time to time, but another part of me doesn’t feel that catharsis. Instead, a part of me feels a silent rage, because I know this review, or any other review, or any of all the people who happen to see these movies for what I could only describe as sheer self-flagellation and tell everyone else it is complete garbage, it won’t stop Michael Bay making Transformers, and it sure as hell won’t stop the franchise. Somehow this is what gets bankrolled over those millions of other screenplays of what could be great action blockbusters. Michael Bay has said he’s stepping down from the Transformers franchise, but that’s what he always says. Paramount have two more Transformers movies lined up for the next two years, they see this as being able to grow out into yet another expanded universe franchise with Bumblebee getting a spin-off movie. I know this is useless, this review. It’s just words screamed into a void, a void of producers and executives running endless focus groups, workshopping the movies through too many editors and writers and camera lenses for maximum 3D so everyone can spend the biggest amount of dollars possible. Because this is the thing: Michael Bay doesn’t care. Mark Wahlberg doesn’t care. Anthony Hopkins doesn’t care. Maybe the digital effects people care. All the people involved in this production, they watch the finished product and I’m sure that no matter where they thought their part was going, they were a little deflated and depressed by it too, especially the fifth time around, but they can forget about their shame at the end of the day. Because they’re all getting their paycheck and a contract for Transformers 6, and you’re doing yourself out of the $20+ you spent to see this rotten film.

(Transformers: The Last Knight is currently showing.)

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How to Fix RWBY Volume 4

I can’t bring myself to say I hate this volume. But I can’t bring myself to say it was fantastic either. After the drama of V3, it felt good to relax a little bit on the plot and attempt to balance world-building and character development to set up for later, bigger events in the story. However, as it much as it seems like I’m playing a broken record by saying this, the idea of segmenting all of Team RWBY’s individual subplots in a relatively short show like RWBY may work on paper, but it requires very fast pacing and extremely powerful scenes, something which this volume seemed to lack. Thus, I will talk about how V4 could have been improved to give it much better character development and an overall more exciting narrative.

Disclaimers: I will be structuring my arguments into individual sections in the following order: Team RNJR, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Oscar, Team WTCH, and Other Improvements. You can scroll down to whichever one you’d like, or you could read the whole thing. I will be talking about everything, including the finale, so if you haven’t finished the volume, you might want to do that. Spoilers will be flying. I won’t be touching World of Remnant, because that isn’t really part of the story as it is exposition (personally, I think it’s stupid that Miles and Kerry need to resort to exposition episodes rather than working the exposition directly into the plot, but whatever). Also, I won’t be addressing ship concerns. I mean, Renora is canon this volume, what more do you want?

Thus, without further ado, let’s begin this shitpost!

Team RNJR:

Explain why the team walked rather than taking trains. It’s great that all of Team RWBY will reunite at Mistral, and I will praise the volume for its pacing in this regard. However, the fact remains that RNJR could have gotten there much faster had they taken a train like Oscar did. Would it cut out a lot of RNJR’s tension this volume? Yes, unless you have Tyrian hijack the train, forcing RNJR to flee (maybe jump off the train, I don’t know) and walk the rest of the way. This would not account for 6 to 8 months’ worth of travel, but that flaw hurts the entire volume more than RNJR itself.

Ren talks too much. I’m a writer. It is very hard to write character development for a silent character, but it can be done. It just takes skill and delicate dialogue crafting. I don’t think Miles and Kerry understand this, and I have a few reasons why In Volume 3, Ren was relevant in the first couple episodes, where he would make constant remarks about Nora’s vomit comment in Episode 1, take an active part in JNPR’s strategies before their Episode 2 fight, and make sarcastic remarks when Jaune was strategizing (Jaune: “Ren, take out the sniper!”, Ren: “Sure, why not?”) All of this feels out of character. Fast forward to V4, where Ren becomes relevant, and they constantly have him give commentary on fights, argues with Nora about the team name, talks to a dying villager, etc. I’m not saying that silent characters don’t interact with people (I’m an introvert, so I know this for a fact), but Ren’s place in the story felt extremely deviant from the first to volumes. At the end of the day, once Kuroyuri comes, the sudden care and outbursts that Ren has towards the Nuckelavee and his home village should have been a drastic character change that the audience would have noticed and praised, but Ren’s overbearing role in the volume just ruins the impact of the character change.

Making Jaune the strategist is fine. Stealing time away from Ruby is not. Many people have already commented on this, so I’ll be brief. Jaune is on a good path to becoming the paladin of this show: the Lawful Good character that starts off shit-tier, but grows through his many experiences to become one of the show’s greatest characters. Think Donnel from Fire Emblem: Awakening. I’m excited for this change, and I’m even fine with his skepticism towards Qrow and how Pyrrha had to choose her role as a maiden. However, Ruby takes a back seat to all this development. Miles and Kerry keep her optimistic, naïve attitude for the sake of consistency, but at the expense of giving her development. Had she not read aloud her letter to Yang, I think Jaune would have had more lines than Ruby. And if there is anything that any story should NEVER do, it is keep attention away from the hero of the story. If Ruby is the main character, make her act like it. Have her learn new battle strategies. Make her use her new electricity and fire bullets more. Rewrite the fights to force Ruby to fight alone at times. Have her give feedback on what she thought of Tyrian, or Salem. Have her give feedback on Kuroyuri. ANYTHING to give Ruby more relevance this volume than just dragging her along for the ride. I hope that V5 goes better for giving Ruby screen time, because this volume did not.

Don’t drop Pyrrha’s attempt at communicating. Episode 2 felt strong in the regard that Pyrrha was attempting to communicate with Ruby (somehow), and I felt that this would come in handy in the finale fight. Guess what? It didn’t. Not once was it ever relevant again. And all it did was wake Ruby up to see Jaune training, which felt like a much better way to put Pyrrha in the volume. I like to think that Pyrrha turning into dust reflects how Ul in Fairy Tail became water, and communicated with Ultear on Tenrou Island by showing her memories (sorry to all who haven’t watched Fairy Tail because you won’t get this at all). Pyrrha’s soul is still alive somewhere in a dust form, and is attempting to tell Ruby something. If you want to use this, save it for a later volume. I guarantee that because RWBY has such a large gap between seasons, only hardcore fans will remember any of Pyrrha’s communication come V5.

Give the Bandits a role. I never saw one bandit this entire volume (no, I don’t count Raven). This would have been a PERFECT time to introduce them, especially since they were mentioned in Episode 2 after they attacked Shion Village. Nope. However, I do have a good way on how to introduce them in a later point (see Yang).

Give us Jaune’s semblance. Seriously. The new sword felt extremely underwhelming. I would rather see his semblance than a sword sheath that gives his sword a little extra cutting power (which never even proved that relevant in the Nuckelavee fight).

Explain why Tyrian is interested in Jaune. Is it because of Pyrrha? Is it because of his character? Is it because he could be the paladin that kills Salem at the end of the show, only for Raven to be revealed as the show’s final antagonist (look, that’s just my theory)? Beats me, because Jaune nor Tyrian (when he’s crying like a bitch to Salem) never bring it up again.

Shame how a stupid reaction shot allowed Qrow to be poisoned. When I was watching the Qrow vs. Tyrian fight, I had very little problems with it. Right up until Qrow cut the wooden board that was going to crush Ruby (a clever instance of his bad luck semblance). Let me explain my reaction:

Qrow: *cuts board*

Me: K.

Ruby: *smiles at Qrow*

Me: You realize that there’s a psychotic scorpion Faunus that could literally poison any of you since you’re both low on aura, right? Maybe you ought to turn back to hi-

Qrow: *smiles at Ruby*

Me: DUDE WTF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTI-

Qrow: Aaah! *gets stung*

Me: *insert Michael Rage Quit dialogue here*

Explain how Ruby was able to cut off Tyrian’s stinger. So, Tyrian’s stinger could block Nora’s fully-charged hammer, Ruby’s scope bullets (even without him seeing their trajectory), and various other attacks, but all Ruby has to do is shoot him while his guard is down? Is this that “don’t let your guard down” BS that Goku suffered from in Resurrection F? Is Aura like Nen in Hunter x Hunter, and you have to force it to a specific point to block, else your limb is coming off? It makes no sense, even if Tyrian screaming “You BITCH!” is hilarious.

Tyrian should have been captured. I’ll talk later about how Monty warned against team fighting, and how RT refuses to follow his advice by choreographing bad teamwork fights, but why didn’t Ren and Nora, maybe even Ruby, go after him? He was low on aura. He could have been captured and questioned. Hell, some RWDE critics preferred that the Tyrian fight occur in a forest so Tyrian could have legitimately gotten away. Why not that?

The Relics are DUMB. D. U. M. B. Welp, Miles and Kerry just retconned Torchwick stealing all the dust again in V2, didn’t they? I was 100% sure at the end of V3 that Salem’s plan was to amount enough dust to infuse it into her body and become some sort of Dust God (which falls in line with the dust exposition in Volumes 1 and 2), and terror through attacking the schools was the only way to eliminate any threats in her way. Nope. Now we have out-of-place Relic bullshit that I’m certain Miles and Kerry just pulled out of their asses after Monty died and the holes in the story he planned began to surface. Shane’s letter suggested to me that RT wanted to take RWBY in their own direction, and retconning even the basic exposition of the OPENING EPISODE of the series just feels desperate. Stop taking our attention away from Dust, Aura, Semblance, and any of the other unique elements that make up the story. If you want to make a mythology, put in in place either at the beginning of the story, or in line with the past exposition. Miles and Kerry did neither. What’s next? By the end of the summer, a comet will arrive and give the Maidens unbelievable strength, and Salem plans to manipulate them to finish the war once and for all?

Explain why Qrow is a teacher. Qrow’s semblance is fine…except for the fact that V1, E1 stated that Qrow was a teacher. Why would Qrow be a teacher if he instigates bad luck onto his students? Wouldn’t he get like a 1.0 on RateMyProfessor? Or is this just another retcon?

“Don’t you know, you never split the party?” I don’t have too much of an argument for this, for RNJR splitting up to both Kuroyuri and Mistral sounds okay, but doesn’t that make both parties extremely vulnerable to large-scale Grimm attacks? Thank the two gods the Nuckelavee needed to wait for the plot to bring RNJR back together before it attacked, else we could be having one or two more Pyrrha’s on our hands.

Everything about Kuroyuri is fine, but it’s in the wrong volume. I like the Kuroyuri mini-arc, as well as Ren and Nora’s development, but let’s be honest. This volume is supposed about Team RWBY’s development. Cut Kuroyuri from this volume and give more screen time to Weiss, Yang, Blake, or literally anyone else. Kuroyuri isn’t far from Mistral, so it might’ve worked better as a mid-season finale for V5. Maybe. Eh.

Mistral airships giving RNJR a lift is just plot-convenient BS. “Lol bro we saw da smoke n we thot someone wus smoking weed and we wnted to buy a few grams”. At least that would have been kind of funny. But no. Mistral helicopters should not have been able to see the Grimm smoke, and immediately drop everything to show up at Kuroyuri, where they rescue COMPLETE STRANGERS to invite them to the kingdom. BS.

Weiss:

Explain Whitley and Weiss’ mother. Contrary to popular opinion, I like Jacques. He is certainly the “Rich Asshole Type A: the Overprotective/Abusive Father” character, but at least his devotion to maintain his rich and comfortable lifestyle falls in line with the absolute power dynamic that Atlas was established to have (I could even talk about how this reflects real-world politics right now, but I won’t). Whitley never felt necessary to introduce to the plot: all he did was go down on Jacques or criticize Weiss. I have a good way on how to make him relevant on a later point. Also, Weiss’ mother was mentioned once, “drinking in the garden”. You know what the powerful girl vs. refrained mother conflict reminds me of? Kallen from Code Geass. Did that show handle the conflict well? Yes. Could RWBY handle it well? Probably. Did it even try? No.

Explain Klein. Not a big issue, but what is up with Klein’s different personalities? Is this a reference to Launch from Dragon Ball with his sneezing, or does he have legitimate dissociative identity disorder? Considering that Klein probably won’t ever be relevant again, I don’t think we’ll get the answer, even though I wish we could. If J. Michael Tatum was hired to play a butler, his most famous role in his career (Sebastian from Black Butler), make him interesting.

Weiss’ song was beautiful, but I still have a couple issues. First, Casey Lee singing as Weiss just looks and sounds off. I know they didn’t have much choice, but maybe they could have had Kara Eberle sing it and heavily edit her vocals. Or maybe she has a naturally beautiful singing voice, I don’t know. Also, this song tends to have even less subtle lyrics than most of the RWBY songs so far. This is entirely a “daddy issue” song. Make it a bit more powerful by showing some of Weiss’ positive personality traits in the lyrics.

Henry Marigold’s role in the story is just too unclear. When you give a character a first and last name, HE/SHE SHOULD BE RELEVANT. Miles and Kerry did not follow through on this with the minor characters of Volume 3, and I doubt they will ever mention Henry again. Then again, that’s fine, even though he could’ve represented the youthful perception of Atlas’ place in the world that reflects the ego of Atlas’ parental and corporate figures which Weiss is precisely trying to fight in her character arc. But hey, what do I know?

This whole “rich people are snobs” shtick is just cliché. It makes logical sense for Atlas to have this mindset (absolute power corrupts absolutely), but it’s too cliché to consider interesting. Give it a twist. Maybe they want to gain control of the kingdom defenses in the rest of Remnant by using Veil and the Fall of Beacon as an excuse to supply better defenses.

Weiss’ rebellion feels weak, as well as her anticlimactic Summoning. Weiss summons a boar about to murder Rich Asshole Type B: the Complete Bitch? Ironwood ex machina, and Weiss never mentions her feelings about her uncontrollable summoning. Jacques locks her in her room and strips her of her heiress title? Cry for 5 seconds, and rebel by messing up the room. Weiss training to regain her skills as a Huntress and protect the friends she holds dear? Master her summoning by creating the knight in the White Trailer on a much smaller scale, and have it accomplish absolutely nothing except break a window (which was a result of the summoning, not the knight breaking the window itself). Some of my friends wanted her to summon a Nevermore, which would’ve been cool. But no.

Jacques should have noticed, or heard about, Weiss breaking the window. Surely someone from the garden must have seen or heard the window breaking, and informed Jacques about it. Wouldn’t that have actually given Jacques a role in preventing Weiss’ escape? Wouldn’t Klein be one of the last people to see or hear the window breaking?

Weiss fleeing Atlas should have been completely rewritten. Weiss should have just ridden the Knight, smash through the garden, grab her mother (yes, more Code Geass references), and hop on a ship to Mistral, while using her rapier to summon and prevent any attacks by the Atlas military. But if this isn’t plausible, this is another option. Flee with Klein as usual, but after she locks Ironwood and Jacques in, Ironwood should break the door down (he’s a freaking metal man, he should be able to do it), and Jacques should alert the entire estate to find the sabotager. He should find Weiss’s room empty, and alert Whitley. Then, in the library, reveal that Whitley is a Hunter. Have him incapacitate Klein and fight Weiss, with her fleeing on the airship. Let me explain why this is good in the next point.

Give us foreshadowing into whether Jacques or Whitley will be relevant in V5, for they’re on a time limit. Ironwood has basically given Atlas an ultimatum: Atlas borders will be closing at the start of next week. This means that if any character from Atlas in V4 is to be relevant in a later volume, they need to leave. NOW. Jacques probably won’t so he can run the company, but Whitley, who could now be revealed to be a Hunter, can legitimately go after and stop Weiss at Mistral. Or have Whitley inherit the company immediately and have Jacques go after Weiss. Make someone important.

Blake:

Explain what Blake was doing for the last 6-8 months. So, six to eight months after the Fall of Beacon, Blake just NOW decides to go to Menagerie? What was she doing throughout all that time? Hiding? Contemplating? Getting her new outfit? Explain.

Sun following Blake is really OOC. Alright, let me get this out of the way right now. The FNDM is blowing this way out of proportion, especially once you factor in Black Sun and Bumblebee shippers. It is certainly out of character for Sun to follow Blake silently, and he should have just been open about it to find out why she fled Ruby and Yang in the first place, but it isn’t THAT big of a deal. End of story.

COMPLETELY change Blake’s family arc. Volume 2 convinced me that Blake was born into the White Fang, grew up in the streets, and had little actual freedom until she ran away from Adam in the Black Trailer. Therefore, giving Blake a family who is practically royalty in Menagerie is retconning at its finest. Plus, what does it prove? That Blake regrets her time in the White Fang after leaving her family like a child? Says more about her than it does the morality, or immorality, of the White Fang, which is exactly what Blake wants to challenge in V5. Have her find that her family is dead. Find some old friends of hers that left the White Fang. Put the good side of the White Fang front and center to make me care more about her fighting Adam. She has two grudges against Adam now: ruining the White Fang’s moral high ground, and disARMing Yang. Give me a better reason to see her fighting these grudges instead of “it sounds okay to the audience”. Blake proving that the Faunus are equal citizens is one of the show’s strongest potential plot points, so capitalize on it.

This Sun comic relief isn’t comical. Not much else you can do except avoid the cringy writing. Sun’s “just hanging around” pun and breaking in to Blake’s conversation with her dad are two good examples.

I get that Adam is too far away from Menagerie to be relevant in this volume, but Ilia is pointless. Who is Ilia? Why do I care? Why can’t we give Adam some screen time to see him going to Menagerie or Mistral? Is Ilia even that important? Was she an old friend of Blake that used to support the morally good White Fang? If so, why did she stop? If not, why is she relevant? Miles and Kerry, please make us care if you are introducing her so late in the volume.

Sun’s heart wound was dropped too quickly. Seriously, is Aura like Nen in Hunter x Hunter? Sun should not have run out of Aura, unless his multiple copies consumed all of it, which didn’t seem clear. Besides, even if I accepted the wound, Blake’s reaction to Sun’s potential death was honestly too good to waste on a wound that doesn’t even seem that bad in the long run. Unless Sun’s wound hurts his fighting in V5, it seems pointless.

Yang:

Yang’s PTSD is very underdeveloped. I was fine with Yang’s broken glass and nightmare-induced PTSD right up until the show dropped it entirely once she put the arm on. That is not how PTSD works. It should continue to haunt her for years, maybe even until she dies (hopefully not during the show, I love Yang too much). Keep her having PTSD symptoms with the arm on. Hell, especially with the arm constantly reminding her of Adam.

If Port and Oobleck are in this volume, we should learn more about the other teams. Do…none of the other characters in V3 matter? If Port and Oobleck matter to Taiyang, and Glenda is shown to be constantly working, then what about Team CFVY? Or the rest of Team SSSN? Or Team CRDL? Or, literally anyone else? Show us what they are doing, albeit briefly. The more they continue to not be relevant in the show, the more I believe that the tournament was a waste of time.

Yang gets used to the robot arm too quickly. Qrow is voiced by this random guy named Vic Mignogna, who, I don’t know, just happened to voice this character called Edward Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist and Brotherhood, one of the greatest anime franchises of all time. And, not that this is related or anything, Edward just happened to have his arm lost and got a mechanical arm that took him a year to master, which was far shorter than the expected length for a normal person. It involves sensitive nerve connections to allow alchemy to be performed. So, how can Yang master it in a matter of weeks, if that? I know that they are two different universes, and I am not educated on robotic arms in the real world, but it should take more than a few weeks to master.

Stop beating around the bush with Raven. So, Raven leads the bandits. Cool. She has family issues. Fine. So, why doesn’t the show capitalize on this? If Yang finds Raven, then what? What does that mean for both if they interact? I feel like the only reason that Yang chose Ruby over Raven was because she realized that her immediate family matters more, which invalidates Raven’s role in the show completely. And before you say “but she is against Salem”, there is nothing that she has physically done to perform this goal, besides forcing Neo to flee. If you want to give Raven a role, give her a more concrete role independent of her mommy issues with Yang.

The show needs to earn “Armed and Ready” with a climactic Yang fight with some Grimm or bandits or rogue White Fang members. “Armed and Ready” is easily the best song that the Williams family has ever done (that opening guitar is downright orgasmic), but Yang has done nothing to fight her PTSD besides training with Taiyang. That does not convince me that she is ready to kick Adam’s ass. Give her a fight towards the end of the volume and have it be the finale fight rather than RNJR vs. the Nuckelavee. Fight some Grimm as a metaphor for overcoming her negative emotions while simultaneously still harboring her PTSD. Have her fight some bandits to introduce them to the story. Have her fight some White Fang members to prove her change in strength since Volume 2. Bonus points if you have her drive on her motorcycle while fighting (just so I can make an AMV with some Initial D themes, probably Running in the 90s).

Oscar:

Cut out his scene in Episode 1. That scene communicates to the audience that Oscar is related to Salem’s antics (by waking up from a nightmare after the opening scene) and he works on a farm. You want to know what does that? The very next scene he is in a few episodes later. Save some money and cut his first scene.

Give us some of Oscar’s own backstory, or individual character. If you introduce a character only for the sake of keeping a previous character relevant, it doesn’t make me sympathize with the new character. The ending scene with Oscar receiving Ozpin’s cane from Qrow sounds promising to give Oscar some development, but not giving him a backstory or why he works on a farm, or even why he just leaves so easily to head to Mistral. He is obviously the Dorothy character in the show (to keep the Wizard of Oz character metaphors going), and Dorothy had a backstory, however brief it was. Give Oscar one.

Ozpin/Oscar is driving the plot now. None of that. When Qrow is asked what Team RNJR should do now that they know about the relics, he literally responds with “I don’t know”. If that doesn’t sum up how irrelevant Ruby is, I don’t know what will. To put icing on the cake, Qrow says that they should put their faith in Ozpin to make up a plan. That means that even if Ruby dies, the only disadvantage that the characters have is that they lose the silver-eyed Super Saiyan (sorry Yang, but Ruby fits that bill better). I’ll talk about the Silver Eyes later, but my point is that Ozpin, regardless if he is the elder, should not drive the plot now. Otherwise, Oscar should be the main character. If he is the Dorothy of this show, that possibility is not too far off, unfortunately.

Team WTCH:

Give Mercury and Emerald more screentime. They were the ENTIRE REASON that Cinder could execute the Fall of Beacon. Now, Miles and Kerry have introduced new villains so fast that there is no time to give Emerald and Mercury any relevance. Emerald is merely a translator, and Mercury does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Have them go out and fight Team RWBY or RNJR. Hell, maybe even have them fight Yang in that hypothetical finale I talked about earlier. After all, Yang does have a grudge against both, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Flesh out the other villains beside Tyrian and Cinder. They’re obviously being saved for later volumes, which is fine, by introducing them in Episode 1 only for each to have one or two more appearances in the rest of the volume feels out of place.

Make Tyrian cold rather than crazy. He’s a scorpion. Not a monkey (that’s Sun’s specialty). People pointed out that he sits like L from Death Note in his opening scene in the dining room (I think that’s what it is), and L was extremely cold and calculating. Make him like that. I’ll take intimidating cold villain over batshit crazy villain any day.

Explain about what happened at Beacon when Ruby unleashed the Silver Eyes. I have many questions. First, how did Cinder get out of there? Did Salem rescue her after she was frozen, or was she never frozen at all and just lost her eye? If not, why did the Grimm Dragon freeze (or is this just some sort of Portal talk in Fullmetal Alchemist where he takes something precious from each person, Cinder her eye that sees her future, and the dragon its ability to fly)? Why has Ruby never mentioned her silver eyes in the ENTIRE volume? Can she induce it under extreme pressure like the Avatar State, but it comes with a horrible cost? Or are Miles and Kerry just retconning all of it until a later volume, when whatever is relevant will just show up? I was looking forward to finding out exactly what happened to Cinder and Beacon, as well as Ruby wrestling with her new abilities. The former was only half developed, and the latter was never mentioned.

Explain why Team WTCH is only now acting 6-8 months after the Fall of Beacon. Tyrian has been looking for the Spring Maiden, and Cinder is undergoing treatment, but what has everyone else been doing? Reading Ninjas in Love alone in their rooms?

Is Cinder…afraid of Tyrian? If so, go into it more. Seeing Tyrian going insane against the Beowulf just felt satisfying to watch (albeit terrifying and stupid since the Beowulf should have disintegrated into dust after the first few stabs). However, Cinder being terrified by Tyrian’s reaction felt even more interesting to see. Maybe Cinder should have had a short PTSD-like flashback to an event from her past.

General Improvements:

Stop hiring so many professional voice actors. Look, I love Funimation. I love Team Four Star. But hiring so many professional voice actors to voice both one-shot and major characters just comes across as corporate money-hogging. RT should have more confidence in its own voice cast, not to mention that the voice acting feels wildly inconsistent, putting professionals on the same level as amateurs. I was fine when they nabbed Vic for Qrow, but this is just pandering.

Improve the fight scenes with Monty’s advice. Remember when Monty said that “you should utilize motion in a way that doesn’t waste movement?” Tell that to the animators that love to swing Crescent Rose around pointlessly during Ruby’s fight scenes. Don’t believe me? Check Episode 7 when she climbs to the rooftop to set up her scope against Tyrian. Also, remember when Monty said that “in team fights, get rid of as many people as quickly as possible?” RT should’ve taken his advice, for Team RNJR vs. Tyrian in Episode 6 was complete garbage, where everyone was standing around too much while Tyrian was fighting 1v1 or 1v2 instead of 1v4. Don’t believe me? Nora got hit with Ruby’s bullet, and stood there for 20 SECONDS while no one did anything else to distract Tyrian from Nora’s charging. I’m not saying that the fight scenes were overall bad in this volume (Qrow vs. Tyrian is my favorite fight in Volume 4 just how Qrow vs. Winter was in Volume 3), but they still need work. No one will be able to animate like Monty, but flash animation can always improve, and “keep moving forward”.

Give the Williams family more songs. The RWBY V4 soundtrack will be good. I guarantee it. I just wish we could have a couple more songs.

Keeping Pyrrha and Glynda in Poser but the rest of the show in Maya just looks awkward. I know it would cost more money to convert both Pyrrha’s recording and Glynda fixing the building on Yang’s TV from Poser Pro to Maya, but it would just look better. Plus, I really want to see Pyrrha’s new model in Maya. Maybe they’re just keeping it once Pyrrha comes back in a later volume (a man can dream, right?).

The show needs to make up its mind about religion. Qrow in V3: “Not many people are super religious these days.”

Captain in V4 E3: “By the gods!” (nice foreshadowing btw)

Qrow: *proceeds to talk about an entire religious mythology that will take the forefront of RWBY’s main conflict*

Me: wut

The sexual references are starting. And I hate them. Blake’s dad calling her clothing too revealing, and Nora telling Ren not to look up her skirt. Unless you’re Evangelion and subverting common fan-service tropes, you don’t have the right to being them into RWBY, especially since Monty was very avid in Volume 1 interviews about shying away from showing the girls in upskirt/sexual scenarios.

Talk about the moon. Qrow looked up at the moon during his talk with RNJR about the relics. Might want to explain why after four volumes of complete silence about it.

Where’s Neo? Is she alive? Dead? Relevant? Irrelevant? Why didn’t she fight Yang in my hypothetical finale? Has she been looking for Torchwick, not knowing that he’s dead? A mute character like her just has too many interesting scenarios for her to be completely dropped.

And that’s it. Thank you to all those who have sat through this 5,400-word post. In the end, there were many things I liked about Volume 4, like how the Nuckelavee was terrifying, and how Qrow’s poisoning was handled, with everyone on the edge of their seats on whether Qrow would die. I just wish it lived up to all the hype that we gave it. Oh well. Cheers to a good Volume 5 in Mistral, the most Omashu-looking city I’ve ever seen (when will this show stop ripping off of Avatar).

#rwby #rwby4 #rwby volume 4 #rwde #slight rwde #not really sure what to call this mess

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