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midnightsnyx · 8 months

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girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple.

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask.

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed.

“No, I believe you.”

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her.

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts.

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?”

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her.

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway.

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name.

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?”

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed.

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly.

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.”

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children.

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall.

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat.

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh.

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily.

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?”

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug.

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again.

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly.

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s.

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time.

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

#hockey imagines #allies writing #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal fic

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jujutsubaby · 2 months

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after hours (part 8)

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader ☆ summary: you help toji bake brownies for megumi's soccer meet tomorrow! you're excited to spend a cute and wholesome night in with baking brownies and eating taco bell with toji but he has something different in mind... ☆ tags: modern au, babysitting au ☆ warnings: 18+ !! MINORS DNI !! oral (f! and m! recieving), penetrative sex (p in the v), smoking, overstimulation, cannabis use, rough sex ☆ a/n: GUYS MORE CRAZY FILTHY SMUT IS HERE FOR U!! enjoy luvs!! and also enjoy even more taco bell sponsorship~ next post will be gojo centered and will still have some smut so stay tuned!! im feeling a little less shy writing smut but i still have a lot of ways to go before writing the infamous 3way but so far im feeling good ab this series and still feeling the momentum >:) also toji is soooo goofy and dilfy i love him :( 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

by the time toji comes downstairs from putting megumi to sleep, you’re already measuring out flour and beating eggs for the brownies as a form of distraction from your horny thoughts. you give a quick wry smile to toji before going back to beating the eggs. you feel and hear toji’s footsteps creaking until they’re in the kitchen, and eventually, right behind you. his arms snake between your hips and you let out a gasp, despite knowing what he’s up to. toji pulls himself closer to you and nuzzles his head between you neck and shoulders, and you instinctively roll your neck to the side, allowing him full access to one of the most sensitive parts of your body.

you close your eyes in pleasure as toji peppers small kisses on your neck and shoulder blade, causing you to breathe heavier. “toji~ we need to bake megumi’s brownies,” you whine, trying to focus your energy back on beating the eggs again.

“right, the brownies…” toji mumbles into ear, causing you to shiver. he continues to leave tiny kisses throughout your neck before finally stopping and resting his head in the crook of your neck. there’s a brief moment of companionable silence with him, where the only sounds were the beating of the eggs, the cicadas outside, and the hum of the heater.

toji breaks the silence first. “so…how was your night last night?” he feels your body get rigid almost immediately and starts rubbing your shoulders. “don’t get nervous, i’m only asking because i’m genuinely interested, pumpkin. not everything about me is horny.”

“yeah, right!” you scoff, remembering the stunt he pulled at target earlier today. “seems like you already know how my night went, anyway.” you roll your eyes as you playfully shrug toji off your neck and he chuckles.

“that’s just the last part of the night, i wanna know how your night in general was, jeez…” toji teases as he measures out the dry goods for the brownies. you figure toji is being genuine, and you have no reason to believe he isn’t. plus, you aren’t that bothered by him eavesdropping on your steamy encounter with satoru last night – you don’t want to admit it but you find it extremely hot, in fact.

you sigh and start telling toji about your night, from taking the gummy shoko gave you to getting kicked out of playing dance dance revolution. you omit most of the sexual tension of the night with satoru, but you figure toji can just figure that part out by himself.

toji has an amused face by the end of your story. “wow, so this is what happens when daddy doesn’t respond to your text fast enough, huh. to think i could’ve taken care of you much better than-”

you hit him playfully in the arm before he can finish the sentence. the last thing you need in your head is satoru and toji both arguing with each other about who can satisfy you better. you’d love to bookmark that fantasy for later, though. maybe in your bed, with your vibrator.

“shut up!” you pour the wet mix into the dry one and start mixing the brownie mix slowly as you both chuckle.

“i didn’t know you got high.” toji seems intrigued.

you continue mixing. “yeah, i mean, sometimes i do. i guess we haven’t really ever...hung out like that. i mean, it’s kinda bad form to show up to work intoxicated, no?” you joke, thinking about how insane you have to be on something while babysitting a child.

“how many times do i have to say this? cut the shit, y/n, it’s literally just babysitting.” toji rolls his eyes. “you can be so tightly wound up, sometimes…” toji moves behind you again, and starts rubbing your shoulders lightly. you hate to admit it, but jesus that feels so good.

“still! i can’t be on some shit while with megumi…” you say, defending yourself but slowly losing your rigor as toji really hits a knot on your shoulder that involuntarily makes you let out a moan. oh, fuck. you can practically feel the smile grow on his face as he hits the spot again. you bite your lip this time to hold in the moan.

“well, you’re not with megumi, right now, right?” you’ve long stopped mixing the brownie mix, and you turn your head to face toji, meeting him just inches away from his lips. you suck in a breath.

“i guess not…what are you trying to say?” you boldly ask, your eyes not leaving his lips.

“i’m trying to say…” toji brings his lips even closer to you. “it’s probably gonna be easier for us to finish our cold ass taco bell if we smoke a little joint together in the backyard, pumpkin.” you answer him by pressing your lips to his, initiating a deep kiss between the two of you.

“i’m taking that as a yes,” toji says, in between kisses. he pulls you closer, and you turn yourself around and lock your arms over his neck, pulling him even closer to you as you respond by moaning into his lips. toji breaks off the kiss, chuckling at your frown. “patience, pumpkin…” he coos as he opens up a random cabinet in the kitchen and pulls out a ziploc baggie of a couple joints. he takes one out, grabs a lighter from a drawer with one hand, and your hand in the other and guides you to the backyard right outside. he lights it up and takes the first drag from it, and exhales. ugh, why does he look sooo hot while smoking? it’s unfair.

if you were this horny completely sober, you’re fucked for the night. despite knowing this, you accept the joint from toji and take a hit, letting the smoke lightly irritate your lungs before letting it all go. you really did try to play it as cool as toji when you exhaled, but you ended up coughing. heat rushes to your face as you feel toji patting your back and chuckling.

“stop, this normally doesn’t happen, okay,” you plead between coughs. “i just don’t smoke that much.” another embarrassing cough at the end of it.

“whatever you say, pumpkin.” toji coos as he continues to effortlessly smoke the joint with zero coughs. it makes you jealous how perfect he looks in the pale moonlight, blowing smoke out. his face relaxes with each puff, as does yours, as you both slowly lean into the buzzed feeling.

after a couple minutes of passing the joint to one another in silence, toji extinguishes it by slowly knocking it against the outdoor table. back inside the kitchen, there’s still the brownies that need to be put inside the already pre-heated oven.

“okay, how about you heat up the food, and i put the brownies in the oven?” you instruct toji as you carefully transfer the brownie mix into the tray. you’re definitely high right now, but you just have to use your brain for like, 3 more minutes, before you can turn it off and enjoy the night with toji, who’s currently heating up your dinner. he grabs the tray from you before you can pick it up.

“i’ll put it inside the oven, don’t want you to get burned handling the oven while a lil stoned. just open it and take a seat.” he instructs, head gesturing to the oven. it makes your heart skip a beat as you do what he says. you wait patiently as toji brings out the food, admiring his large and built physique. has he gotten even bigger since the last time you saw him? maybe you should ask if he wants to help you work out even though you can’t remember the last time you stepped foot inside the gym. you gulp and force yourself to think of something else, and the waft of the taco bell easily melts away your horny thoughts as the munchies slowly start to kick in for you.

you immediately start destroying your food, as toji grabs the remote to turn on…great british bakeoff? you didn’t know toji was into food television, and now that you think of it, food related tv shows are usually the most family friendly ones, too. toji senses your confusion and clears the air.

“listen, it’s interesting, okay?” he says, defensively as he chows down on his tacos, eyes not leaving the screen as paul hollywood explains the technical challenge.

“i’m not judging!” you’re judging a little bit. “i think it’s cute you’re into such soft dilfy tv shows…” you giggle.

“what makes ‘great british bakeoff’ dilfy?”

“i dunno, it’s just a dad thing to watch.” you say in between bites.

the rest of your dinner consists of conversations around toji’s tv show interests (he watches a lot of hgtv and a weird common ground between the two of you is selling sunset) and the current episode of great british bakeoff (you feel bad even offering to bake brownies after watching their baking skills).

you laugh when toji says he hated the time he went traveling to london (“i didn’t understand a single thing they said and their seafood is just awful!”). “you can’t judge them just by a single bad trip, toji,” you chastise, rolling your eyes. you take a bite out of a cinnabon delight and the cream oozes out around your lips. you’re about to quickly wipe it off, when you catch toji looking intently at you.

“hold on, let me help.” he wastes no time leaning towards you, suddenly forgetting about the tv show, and licks it off your mouth and you’re not sure when you both start kissing but you were. it seemed so natural to fall into it, cinnabon in one hand and your other tugging on his hair.

“you taste like cinnabons,” toji murmurs against your lips.

you let out a small moan, “it’s because i was eating one…until….” the sound of the tv drown out the smacks of your lips and your quiet moans.

“sorry, should i stop?” toji breaks the kiss and tugs on your lower lip playfully, and you moan due to the loss of contact. your hand, still resting on his head, forces him back on your lips as you hungrily open your mouth and let his tongue explore yours.

you’re about to say more but, but you’re both interrupted by the timer going off in the kitchen, indicating the brownies are finished. the sound startles both of you and toji breaks off the kiss as you catch your breath. you both get up, the high slowly plateauing for the both of you since getting some food in your stomachs. toji carefully takes out the freshly baked and hot brownies and places them on the granite countertop.

“god, they smell so good…” you say, practically salivating.

“i know they’re for megs, but…i mean, it wouldn’t hurt if we just ate one, right?” toji surmises, already grabbing a knife and slicing off two small pieces for the both of you.

“yeah, they won’t even notice.” you’re about to eat your brownie piece, when toji stops you.

“wait, got somethin’ that’s gonna make this even better.” he strides over to the fridge and pulls out a can of whipped cream. “we can have fun with this.”

you know he doesn’t mean it in a sexual way (or does he?) but you definitely read more into it, your heart beating faster thinking of all the dirty things you can do with the whipped cream, but first, your brain is begging you to try just a bite of the brownie before giving into your horny thoughts. you watch toji swirl a bit of whipped cream on his brownie before handing the can to you. you match him, albeit, a bit more messily. the whipped cream gets on your hands and on the plate, but you pay no mind to it as you both inhale the brownie bite at the same time.

you do a terrible job at holding back a moan at the sweet fudgy and warm bite. “oh my god…not to toot my own horn but these are the best brownies i’ve ever had.” you say with your mouthful and toji nods in agreement.

“megs is gonna love this tomorrow morning but he’s gonna hate us for trying a bite without him,” toji jokes. immediately after finishing his brownie, he grabs your whipped cream-laced finger and brings it to his mouth and starts sucking on it, causing you to gasp. he licks the whipped cream clean, and kisses the tips of your fingers.

“someone’s still hungry for something sweet,” you tease, grabbing the can of whipped cream, opening your mouth, and spraying some on your tongue. you stand on your tippy toes and toji leans down and gives you an open mouth kiss. his tongue engulfs yours and exchanges the whipped cream between both of your mouths, the sweetness driving your hunger for him even more. if you saw anyone else do this, it would make you gag, but with toji, you cannot deny how erotic it is and how incredibly soaked you are. the sweetest kiss (literally) you’ve ever had comes to an end as toji pulls back and grabs the whipped cream container.

“actually…” toji lifts you up with one arm and sets on top of the granite countertop of his kitchen. “i want something sweeter…” he brings the nozzle to your neck, which you gladly tilt for him to make space, and you feel the coldness of the whipped cream being applied on your neck. jesus fucking christ, you’re so sensitive there. you shiver at the contact. your eyes roll so far back in your head and you let out the most obscene moan when toji licks a long stripe across the whipped cream in your neck, and sucks on your skin at the end of it. you feel the vibrations of toji’s humming against your neck and you close your eyes in pleasure.

“f-fuck~ toji…m’so sensitive there…when you lick it, ah~” toji wastes no time placing some more whipped cream on your neck and repeating the same motion as you moan again at the contact of his tongue on your neck.

“fuck, pumpkin, i could just eat you up, right now,” toji says through raspy sighs. he’s practically inhaling you – your warmth, your scent, everything. he can’t get enough of you, with or without whipped cream. with or without clothes, too but preferably without. “gotta take this off,” toji says, tugging at the hem of your sweater.

“yes, daddy,” you say coyly as you bite your lip. you waste no time throwing the sweatshirt somewhere across the kitchen. you sit on the granite counter with your titties on full display, your nipples slowly getting harder by the second.

“tsk, no bra?” toji immediately connects his lips to your collarbones as he covers you in small open mouthed kisses until he reaches your sternum and feels your chest moving with your heavy breaths. your knuckles are turning white gripping the edges of the countertop. “you’re such a fuckin’ slut showing up here without one…what did you expect to happen?” he teases you even further as he starts kissing lightly your mounds.

your breath gets caught in your throat as you pathetically try to defend your decision to not wear a bra tonight. “i-i- toji~ y-you said y-you would cook for me and t-take care of me…” you’re looking down at him and he looks back up at you. you close the gap between your mouths as you engulf him in another kiss and wrap your legs around him, unapologetically bringing him even closer to you. you scoot yourself even closer to the edge of the granite counter so that your heat was as close as it could get to him without you falling off the countertop and you start grinding on him, desperate to feel something.

with the whipped cream can still in his hand, toji breaks off the kiss, and you notice a string of saliva connecting you both. “patience, pumpkin…” he mumbles as he shakes the can. he sprays two little buttons of whipped cream on each of your nipples, which are both hard right now, and it makes you shiver viscerally. toji engulfs one of your cream covered buds and starts sucking messily, causing you to whimper embarrassingly loudly. thank god the tv noise is drowning out your noises.

once he’s cleaned up one of your breasts, he moves on to the next one, expertly using his tongue in quick flicks against your hardened bud. you feel like your skin is on fire despite the cream being cold and you lightly tug on toji’s hair, pressing his face even closer to your breasts. it’s harder to keep your eyes open because of the pleasure that’s electrifying your body, and your moans are slowly filling up the room.

“fuck, y’taste so sweet…” toji says in between kissing your titties, alternating between each one and making sure not a single smear of cream was left. “can’t believe this is what i missed out on…”

“p-please, toji~” you whine, “n-need more of you…” you’re not one to be insistent, but you find your hands on toji’s shoulders and they’re slowly pushing him down to face your soaked shorts.

“need my tongue in your pussy? need daddy to take care of this pretty perfect pussy?” toji teases you by grazing his thumb over your clothed clit, making you involuntarily flinch and whimper. tears of desperation threaten to spill as you quickly nod your head and mouth a weak “please”.

“take this off.” toji commands, his fingers playing with the waistband of your shorts. he doesn’t have to ask you twice as your shorts practically slide off of you. your ass hits the cold granite and you yelp, but not for long as toji swiftly picks you up and lays you down on the dining room table. your legs automatically spread open wide as he takes a seat on the dining chair and comes face to face to your unclothed soaking core. you hear toji swear under his breath as his pupils dilate at the sight of you completely bare for him on his dining table.

you won’t lie – you feel extremely exposed compared to toji who’s completely clothed, but it just turns you on even more at how desperate you get for him to touch you. you’re so needy for his touch, his tongue, his fingers, everything. and just thinking about it makes your wetness drip on his dining table. your eyes roll back so far, you arch your back in pleasure from just feeling toji’s hot breath in your inner thigh.

“p-please, toji~ no teasing…i can’t stand it~” you cry, bucking your hips closer to toji’s face. you need his mouth on you so bad it’s making you go insane as you hyperventilate and blink back tears.

your eyes are facing the ceiling, but you feel toji shaking the whipped cream can. before you realize what’s happening, toji’s spraying another button of cold cream on your clit, and temperature causes your body to twitch. toji’s hands grab each side of your hips to hold them still, effectively forcing your legs to stay open while he finally dines on the dessert he’s been waiting all night for.

toji licks a long strip across your folds, until he reaches your bundle of nerves and rests below a small hill of cream. the cream mixes into your core, and toji eats it up like he’s never had anything sweeter (and he hasn’t). your wanton moans get louder and louder as he dives even deeper into your core, his tongue expertly not leaving any cream to waste.

“if you’re gonna be this loud, pumpkin, m’gonna gag you so shut the fuck up.” …was that supposed to be a threat to you? in any case, you bite your lips to stop block your moans, letting out raspy whimpers at toji’s ministrations. you feel toji’s fingers slowly creeping near your entrance and you buckle your hips futilely against his arms holding you down, in an effort to beg for more.

toji inserts one, maybe two, you’re not sure how many fingers are inside you by the time you feel the coil tightening in your lower abdomen. your mind, already high from before, turns into mush in the face of your rising heart rate. toji hears your whimpers getting louder and your pussy clenching around his curled fingers bullying your g-spot.

“t-toji~ m’getting close…” you say through mangled moans. tears threaten to spill as you strain to hold back until toji gives you permission. “can-can i, please?”

“can you what? use your words, pumpkin…” toji says, speeding up his fingers inside you.

“can-can i cum, please, toji~” you whine.

“anything for you, pumpkin. cum your brains out…” toji uses his thumb to apply the final pressure to your bundle of nerves, causing you to come undone on his fingers, and making a mess on his dining table. you don’t even have time to feel bad about it because toji starts bullying your g-spot again, leaving no time for you to recover.

he swiftly stands up, and you feel the tent in his sweats against your thigh as he reaches over to cover your mouth. you feel the back of your head pressing against the hard dining room table, but it does an effective job of mumbling your scream at the overstimulation toji was giving to your pussy. your eyes roll back as he uses his thumb again to circle your clit and apply pressure. the tears you tried to hold back this entire time stream down your cheeks as you feel your body on fire after not recovering from your first orgasm. you see toji’s cruel smile as he coos at how well you take his fingers.

“ohh, i know it’s a lot, pumpkin, but i know you can give me a second one, maybe even a third?” your eyes widen at the thought of three consecutive orgasms – you’ve never been able to do that even on your own! toji chuckles mockingly, his hands tightening around your mouth even more as he feels the signature clenching of your pussy on his fingers. he knows you're close and so do you.

“cum for me, i know you're close, don’t hold back for me.” and you don’t. if his hand wasn’t on your mouth, you’re sure the neighbors and megumi, and maybe everyone in the neighborhood would have woken up at how drawn out your scream was.

you’re unable to form a coherent thought as toji continues to keep his fingers inside you, caressing your g-spot and keeping up his end of his promise of making you cum three times in a row. it’s embarrassing how fast you cum the third time – it’s almost immediately and you feel yourself making a complete wet mess everywhere as your legs shake even though toji removed his fingers from you.

toji unclamps your mouth and your breathy moans start back up again as you watch him put his soaked fingers in his mouth. “wanna taste y’self, pumpkin…so sweet…” you pathetically nod your head as toji inserts his fingers inside your mouth and you start sucking involuntarily, tasting yourself on him. he pushes his fingers deeper in you, but you hold them back.

“want to taste you…toji, wanna suck you off…” you whine, wishing desperately his fingers were something else.

“soon, not finished with your pussy yet.” toji takes his shirt off, and you lift your head up to admire his body. his toned and chiseled abs have a thin layer of sheen from concentrating on making you cum. you bite your lip and make eye contact with him, as he reaches down and palms his rock hard member over his sweats. you feel your mouth water in anticipation of having it in your mouth, but toji has different plans.

toji lowers the waistband of his short and underwear, and his throbbing member springs up. with one hand, toji starts slowly jerking himself off, and with the other, he brings your pussy closer to the edge of the table. he places your legs on his shoulder, and they find a comfortable place resting on them. he gives a quick kiss to both of your ankles before rubbing the tip of cock against your slick folds, teasing your entrance.

“nghh~ toji no teasing!” you pout, your pussy suddenly eager to take his pulsating cock inside you after being stretched by his fingers for so long.

“okay, fine.” he says bluntly with a smirk as he slides his entire length into you, bottoming out. it takes you by surprise and he anticipates your loud moans as he once again uses one of his hands to cover your mouth and mangle your moans.

“shh, you can take it, pumpkin, i know you can.” he waits a couple seconds for you to adjust to his length, but in all honesty, no amount of time could have helped you get used to how big he was and how full he made you feel.

“ngh~ so big,” you complain through his hand on your mouth, as you struggle to keep your breathing normal and your moans at a normal volume. you clench involuntarily around him, and toji takes a seething breath through his teeth while scrunching his eyes.

“fuck, pumpkin. you cannot do that, m’gonna cum on the fucking spot…” toji says, practically having to count backwards in his head to prevent himself from cumming just by inserting himself into you. “how are you still so fuckin’ tight after i fucked your brains out last time…”

he slowly starts moving back and forth, and unclamps your mouth. he snakes one arm around one of your thighs and the other gripping your ankle next to face and forcing your legs further apart. you feel so exposed in front of him, but you can’t even complain, as toji quickens his pace inside you. you think you’re seeing stars in your vision, or maybe it’s because you’re still a bit high. your mind and body is still fucked out from your three massive orgasms previously, so you can’t make much of the things toji is saying to you.

“y’take me so well, pumpkin…”

“feel ya clenchin’ on me again…gonna cum again? four times? such a greedy little slut…” toji clenches his teeth as he prepares for your fourth orgasm on his leaking member that’s actively fucking your brains out. you feel the familiar wave building up inside you, and it’s even stronger than the other three you had.

“fuck toji~ i feel so close…m’gonna cum, please…i-i can’t hold it b-back….” by the time you cum, you’re a babbling mess, and it takes toji everything inside of him to not cum inside you at the same time. his eyes are looking at you, fully focused on your pleasure as he thumbs your clit to help you ride the wave. you clench on him, hard, and he lets out a throaty groan. he knows he’s not gonna last much longer inside you, especially if he’s going to be watching your titties bounce back and forth with every thrust.

“where d’ya want me to cum, pumpkin, m’close…” toji says through short, jagged breaths. you see beads of sweat on his concentrated face and his brows twitching as he’s pressed against you, keeping a consistent pace of hitting deep inside you.

you don’t have much energy left, but you manage to croak out your one request of the night. “wanna suck you off…wanna have you cum inside my mouth…”

toji wastes no time obliging to your request, as he slows down and detaches himself from you. you weakly get up off the dining table, your legs still shaky from your orgasms, as you manage to get down on your knees in front him. he looks so pretty with his head thrown back and his eyebrows scrunched as he’s jerking himself off. he opens his eyes to see you looking back up at him, and he gingerly tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. your grasp on his leaking and throbbing member as he lets go, and you grab the can of whipped cream from the table and start shaking it.

you place a little bit along the tip of his shaft, lick it off, causing toji to groan. you do it again. and again. your tongue takes small , sweet licks off his tip, and you feel him trying to buckle his hips into your mouth. it makes you boldly giggle at how desperate he is to get off inside your mouth.

“y-you don’t get to tease, pumpkin, even when you’re the one sucking me off…” toji says between clenched teeth. with his hands, he creates a makeshift ponytail with your hair and forces his entire length inside you, causing you to gag on him. he starts fucking your mouth, and you feel the mascara tears falling down as you expertly control your gag reflex to take his length in. your tongue swirls as his cock is inside your mouth and you bob your head back and forth, determined to bring pleasure to the hardness of his arousal.

toji’s thrusts inside your mouth are getting sloppier and messier, and you know he’s getting close. toji knows he’s coming undone in mere seconds, and he lets you know he’s about to spill all over your mouth, face, chin, everywhere. he cums inside your mouth and it drives him insane at how well you milk his member. you make eye contact with him as his warm seed squirts into your mouth, doing your best to swallow every drop of him. whatever you miss is dripping down your chin on to your thighs, and you hear toji’s breath return to a normal pace as he slows down. you feel his member softening and you stop sucking him and catch your breath.

“fuck, pumpkin, how did you get so good at sucking me off…” toji says, catching his breath. you look at him demurely as you swipe his cum off your chin lick off your fingers, making a show of it by bringing your tongue out dramatically.

“dunno, i just do…” you say, and toji shakes his head, chuckling.

“you’re such a fuckin’ slut, pumpkin…” toji mumbles, before helping you up and peppering your face with kisses. he sees you shivering and he quickly helps you sit on the couch while he grabs a warm towel to help wipe you off and gathers both of your clothes that were strewn across the kitchen. he helps dress you before he does himself.

“wait…was the tv playing this whole time?” you ask, confused at how many episodes of great british bakeoff must’ve been on autoplay since you guys stopped watching.

toji laughs. “oh my god, it must’ve been playing the entire time. wait, quickly, hand me the remote, i don’t wanna know spoilers.” he quickly pauses the show and goes back to the netflix home page. god, it’s so cute he cares so much about that show. toji tosses you a blanket as he takes a seat next to you and goes back a couple episodes to where you guys stopped watching. you cuddle closer to him as you both watch the episode in silence. you feel toji’s fingers massaging your scalp softly, and you lean your head deeper into his broad shoulders, practically melting into his body.

your eyelids feel heavier by the minute, and you try your hardest to stay awake. you need to know who got the paul hollywood handshake. you’re not entirely sure when you drift off, but it can’t have been more than a couple minutes. toji notices and finishes up the episode before slowly carrying you (quite easily) up the stairs into his bedroom, where he tucks you in and cuddles you from behind.

he’ll never mention it to you, but by the time he’s in bed ready to sleep, he can feel himself hardening again against your ass as he spoons you. so fuckin’ inconvenient, he thinks, as he tries to think of anything else to try to sleep next to your passed out body.

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chaotic-iguana · 9 months

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Hello, I would like to request a story about Joel (no apocalypse) who picking up reader from their workplace. However, as the reader is walking towards the car, she experience a hit-and-run accident or another type of accident (you can choose freely).

Joel, who witnesses the accident becomes extremely panicked and protective during and after reader out the hospital. Joel is deeply traumatized and afraid that something bad might happen to the reader. I need fluff and angst Joel and you are excellent at creating it 🥺💖

thank you anon! you’re so sweet, i really appreciate you and the prompt! im going to make this an installment of the husband! joel verse (introduced in tease)

Borrowed time

Summary: Reader gets hurt, and Joel doesn’t know how to deal with it. (no-outbreak! au)

Wordcount: 1.7K

Pairing: husband joel x f! reader (no use of y/n)

Warning: angst, hurt/comfort, near-death experiences, blood, a little gore, allusions to sex

masterlist

Your car had broken down last week, so Joel had been dropping you off and picking you up from work. You’d resisted at first, suggested walking or cycling or even the bus - all of which had been met with the same incredulous expression etched onto your husband’s face, an eyebrow raised at you in amusement. ‘As if, honey’ was all he’d snark at you before shushing you when you tried to argue about the fact that this would add an hour and a half to his route after dropping Sarah off in the mornings and two hours in the evenings, which felt unsustainable for you since your car was at the mechanic’s garage for the foreseeable future. At that, he’d just huff and mumble something about not minding the extra time with you that much, and your heart would just melt again.

The two of you settled into the new routine fairly quickly; Joel chuckling at your sleepy grumbling in the mornings and getting teased by you when he was grumpier and complaining about his aching back in the evenings. “Too far past your bedtime, old man?”, paired with a shit-eating grin as you watched him scowl and shake his head at you, turning back to the road as his lips twitched ever-so-slightly upwards. Enough for you to make iterations of the same joke every evening, just to watch him fight his smile.

On a seemingly normal thursday morning, you’d been slightly distracted by a meeting you had with your bosses. The board of directors, actually, and the anxiety was practically crippling you by the time Joel was ushering you and Sarah into his truck. There was just so much that could go wrong, but if it went right, it would result in a massive promotion with a pretty nifty raise and four-day work weeks. Which sounds amazing, but you were sure it would feel even better. A whole extra day?

Joel rested a hand on your knee to stop its bouncing, the warmth of his palm seeping through your jeans and immediately crushing the wave of nervousness that had been rising in you. “Look at me, sweetheart. You’re gonna crush it. And ‘f for whatever reason you don’t, we’ll go out an’ watch that movie you’d been wantin’ to, even pig out on icecream after. Whaddya call it? Self-care.” His words made you burst out laughing and lean over to kiss his cheek.

“That actually sounds good. And for the record, I call taking a bubble bath self care, not swallowing five pints of icecream at three am. Like you apparently have the ability to.” He mock-frowned while beaming in the rear-view mirror.

“Technically honeymoons are to learn new things about each other. Plus, we’d been fuckin’ an’ passin’ out with damn near no breaks f’thirty six hours at that point. A man’s gotta have some fuel to keep up with that kinda pace, no?” He snickered as he glanced at you with a pointed look. To be fair, you had, in fact been fucking till you passed out for the first three days of your trip to Italy, and you’d both only realised how hungry you were when neither of you had the energy to leave the bed. It was three am, and for some inconceivable reason, most restaurants had closed. So Joel had walked into the nearest grocery and just gotten 5 huge tubs of icecream and some waterbottles. While it worked great as fuel, you and Joel had been forced to spend two consecutive days holding each others’ hair back and eating proper meals, because as it turns out, eating four meals’ worth of icecream on empty stomachs does not sit well.

“Seemed pretty good at keeping up when you fingered me in a full restaurant just because the waiter asked to get some wine for your missus.” You retorted back, shaking your head at how insatiable he’d been, too. It had taken a whole week for the nearl-feral glint in his eyes while referring to you his wife to fade - even then, not completely.

“Never gonna tire of hearin’ that, you know.” Turning the corner to pull up to your stop, he leaned down for a sweet, slow kiss before leaning back to whisper softly. “You’re gonna do well, baby. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever seen, alright? Don’t you worry about a damn thing.” At your wordless nod, he kissed your forehead. “Go get ‘em, honey.” With nod and a parting greeting, you turn and walked into the building.

After a long but extremely successful day, you rushed out of work the second your phone buzzed with Joel’s message, practically vibrating with the need to give him the good news. Brows furrowing, you scanned your surroundings looking for his truck. You caught his wave out of the corner of your eye and returned it with a breathless laugh, striding in his direction and failing to notice the smudge of black approaching your side rapidly. The last thing you saw before your vision went black was Joel’s wide, panicked eyes and the urgency with which he pushed his door and stumbled out. For a second, it felt like you were in the air, limbs flailing. A second of impact; a sharp pain settling in your right leg, before you were out.

Your eyes heaved open, blurry, and you heaved your head to the side to see Joel holding your hand and stroking your head, tears running down his face. You were lying in the middle of the road, surrounded by a crowd of concerned passengers. Joel’s mouth was moving, but you couldn’t hear him- in fact, you couldn’t hear anything except for a high-pitched tone buzzing in your ear. There was blood on his shirt, and before you could ask whose it was, you noticed it coated your hands, too. Looking down, you caught a glimpse of your thigh, flesh ripped open as bone jut out from its side, just before your eyes rolled back and consciousness slipped from your grasp once again.

When you woke, it took you far too much effort to wrench your eyes open. Blinking against the painfully blinding lights overhead, you opened your mouth to call someone, anyone, to explain where the hell you were and why the beeping coming from next to you was so damn loud. Even your thoughts were lagging, unable to piece together why you were in this room that definitely wasn’t your own. Images of your previous waking moments flashing in your mind, you felt alarm building in your chest as your breath began coming in short gasps. Suddenly, something in your peripheral vision moved and suddenly Joel was here, his large hand cupping your face as he urged you to breathe. It took a minute - maybe even more- for lucidity to return to your rapidly-spiraling mind, but he stayed unwaveringly calm as he held you patiently and waited for you to come back.

“W-“ you wince at the dryness of your throat, at how hoarse your voice sounds from lack of use. “What happened?” You tried again, clearing your throat this time. Joel’s soft eyes met yours, lips turned downwards in a frown.

“Fuckin’ idiot drivin’ a car was on his phone, texting when you started crossin’ the road. Bastard didn’t see ya, and one second you were smilin’ so sweet at me, an’ by the next you were on the floor, bone stickin’ outta your thigh. Closest I’ve ever been to a heart attack.” You could fear fraying at the edges of his voice as you moved your hand up to hold his, cradling it to your cheek. “Asshole drove away, too. Didn’t even get his number plate ‘cause I was so fuckin’ scared for you.” He looked away, tears filling his eyes.

Reaching out to stroke his jaw, you nudged him to look at you again. “‘M sorry, honey. Should have been more careful. Think I would have gone crazy if I ever had to see you like that.” You murmured, feeling your heart break at seeing Joel this scared, this frantic. He shook his head.

“Not your fault, baby. None ‘f it, ya hear me? ‘M just so glad you’re okay. Rest up, sweetheart, you need it right now.” You nod, kissing the back of his hand as you lean back in your bed.

The next few days in the hospital go by in a blur, Joel refusing to leave your side for a single minute. His hand is always somewhere on you: holding yours, stroking your face, your hair. Sarah hadn’t come in at your request; you hadn’t wanted her to see you in a hospital bed, unable to move much. When the time to get discharged rolled around, Joel seemed even tenser, his grip on you tighter. It took some time for you to get the cast taken off, which on one hand was an extreme relief, it also meant that you now had to attend regular physiotherapy sessions to regain full mobility.

The real adjustment, however, was the way Joel would straighten and tense up any time you left home after that. The way he grabbed your hand when you crossed streets; accompanying you even to the pharmacy down the block. At first, it irked you. Then, you realised what he had been through. If the roles had been reversed, you’d want to accompany him everywhere too. His fear was very real and very valid - one of his worst nightmares had just taken place in front of him, afterall, and if all he needed to feel a bit better was to walk you to places you needed to go, then you’d indulge him for as long as it took for him to realise that you were safe.

It lasted a few months, but as you returned to normal, so did he. Your car came back from the garage, but Joel still drove you. Not because of his fear, or because he had to, but just to revel in that extra hour he got out of it. He’d learned that time was precious, and he wanted to spend every conceivable second of his with you and Sarah.

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore AMAZING dividers by @cafekitsune!! absolute god who makes amazing dividers for free!

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mystar-girl57 · 1 year

Text

𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐘𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐔𝐌

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

Summary: widowed!jake sully x fem!reader

Warnings: injury, argument between reader and Jake, guns, violence

Notes: welcome babes to chapter 2!! Buckle up for some drama drama drama oh and quaritch. I think so far what I’ve figured out this story to be is reader accepting that they are the kids mother and Jake accepting it too because neither have accepted that Neytiri is gone. Idk- Im loving reader so far and I hope you guys love her too as this story devolopes. I will say the reason why there isn’t much “don’t” and “isn’t” and instead there is do not and since the reader doesn’t know English they wouldn’t know how to shorten words and say each word induvally

You opened your eyes to a different ceiling now, your body laying in a different hammock. It did not matter that after three years of being “mated” to JakeSuli you were still not used to waking up in the Sullys’ tent. You felt like an intruder in the home, like you were not supposed to be there. It was not supposed to be you helping Tuk with her bathes, or teach Kiri the proper ways to grind up the herbs to use for medicine. It was supposed to be Neytiri, there to comfort Lo’ak after getting another scolding from his father, there to tell Neteyam it was time to take a break and go to sleep. But no matter how many times you prayed that Neytiri would come back and relieve you of your duty and give you back your freedom, you knew that each morning would be the same.

Opening your eyes to the unfamiliar ceiling, Jake’s back to you as he snored and Tuk nestled into your arms.

No. This was your life now, for better or for worse, there was no getting out of it.

Now, you have managed to find some sort of joy in the loveless marriage you found yourself in. The Sully kids. Each one of them had found a special place in your heart and you knew they were there to stay. It was not too hard for the children to adjust to you suddenly being their “mother”, you had already been around often when Neytiri was alive and even when she died you stayed. Tuk was over the moon when she learned that was getting you as her new mother, (which you of course corrected saying that Neytiri would always be her mom, you were just here to help in her absence.) Kiri and Lo’ak were like Tuk with being happy to have a mother figure around the tent now, they did not express it like their baby sister did but you felt the love just the same. As for Neteyam it was a bit more difficult for him to warm up to you, still grieving the loss of his mother. He was like his father thinking that you were there to replace her! But as time went by the young warrior came to realize that was never your intention and he came to accept you.

You never made the kids call you mother or any parental title if they did not want to. You promised that just your name was fine. Like them, you were adjusting too. You had gone from the life of living alone having to only care for yourself to suddenly having a whole family to look after.

Jake though had never come around. He gave you as much respect as any other clan member but that was the extent. No names of affection were swapped between the two of you, no glances stolen. In fact, you had not even properly mated.

After you left Mo’at’s tent those years ago processing what you had agreed to, Jake made it very clear that he did not want to form tsaheylu let alone touch you. And you agreed. You did not wish to connect your queues and feel the loathing he had for you. If he did not truly want you, you would not let him touch your body, you had too much dignity for that, wanting to save your body for someone who truly loved you.

When you moved into the Sully Tent your plan had been for the two of you to sleep in separate hammocks but that instantly sparked questions among the kids, especially Tuk who wanted to cuddle with both you and Jake when she had a nightmare. So the one compromise you made was sharing a sleeping space with him but that did not change your relationship. Once the kids were asleep you would turn your backs to each other and sleep separately, not even your tails daring to brush.

But despite the fact there was no love between you and the Olo'eyktan you had learned to be good actors, appearing together in front of the clan with wide grins, sitting at feasts together, talking to clan members together, trying to pull off the persona that you were a happy mated pair. Never once though did the two of you dance together, even during the songs reserved for more intimate dances.

You had everyone fooled. Even Ewya you liked to think. No more rotting fruits and ashen dreams plagued your days and nights. Maybe you were free from her wrath! Or so you thought.

“They’re here! The War Party is back!” Tuk bounced through camp, watching with glee as her father and brothers returned to High Camp followed by the rest of the people who had gone on raid. As soon as Jake and his son’s landed and Tuk drew near she could sense something was wrong by the way that her big brothers’ heads were down and their tails were between their legs.

When Jake motioned for Neteyam to go so he could get patched up Tuk made her way to her brother. “Did something happen?” She asked, taking his wrist and moving his arm, inspecting him over. Out of all the cuts and bruises he had, the worse was the one on his back. “Lo’ak happened.” Neteyam huffed with a shake of his head, his beads clacking together. The youngest Sully frowned, she hated seeing Lo’ak get in trouble and she knew how you hated it too. “Let’s get you to Mama,” she urged with a tug of his wrist, “she’ll get you healed.”

When they arrived at the tent you were working busily to apply a healing paste to a warrior's shoulder which had a significantly deep cut. The warrior winced as you touched it. “Here Mom,” Kiri came and crouched beside you, “I know grandma says dapophet is the best but try this instead.” She handed you an amber colored ointment. “It’ll numb the pain, and be easier for the wound to heal.” You muttered a thank you, swapping out the dapophet for the concoction Kiri made and began applying it to the warrior's shoulder. Instantly his body relaxed and you were able to get him mended.

Watching him go, your eyes caught sight of Neteyam and you let out a small gasp at the state he was in. Rising to your feet you came over to where he stood in the corner and cupped his face gently. You tilted his head so you could see the cuts littering his jaw before turning around to see his back. “Your father said you and Lo’ak were going to be scouts.” You turned your son around, grasping his shoulders. “How did you get this hurt if you were just watching the battle?” Your voice was stern but Neteyam could easily depict the worry in your tone. “It was my fault,” he began and you instantly closed your eyes, your ears going down. “Lo’ak.” You finished with a sigh. Neteyam went to rebuke your words and take the blame but he could tell that you would rather not know what trouble the youngest sully boy had gotten into this time. “We’re both safe,” he whispered trying to soothe you in some way. “I got the worst of it, Lo’ak is fine.”

You nodded, pulling away from him, rubbing your temples as the tend flap fluttered and in walked Lo’ak trailed by Spider. “Man, that is awesome!” Spider’s eyes sparkled as they walked into the tent in the middle of the conversation. “I know! The gun was so huge-” Lo’ak started but when you cleared your throat he instantly froze and turned his head slightly to see you standing there in front of his brother. Your gaze instantly made him pipe down, not from fear, but from shame. He knew how you tried to defend him to his father whenever he would get in trouble.

You had told him one night after things got especially ugly that he reminded you a lot of yourself. The both of you had your own hopes and ambitions that you wanted to carry out but there was always some sort of power that was stopping you from reaching that goal, pushing you back to the starting line.

Lo’ak knew that you could not keep fighting for him and he had promised you the last time you came to his aid that it would be his last, that he would do better. And he could see in your eyes the pain you felt.

“Spider Tuk, I need you to both help Jake unload the weapons, Kiri tend to Neteyam and Lo’ak come sit.” You directed. Without any question the little na’vi and human boy scampered out of the tent and Kiri went to Neteyam. While no one said anything they could sense something was wrong. The eye bags under your eyes were growing noticeably and you sounded tired. So tired. The three sully siblings swapped worried glances but stayed quiet in the end.

By the time you had everyone doctored and the tent cleaned up, you left to go to your own tent. Making your way up the rocky slope your tail swayed tiredly behind you, your ears drooping slightly, you knew that you were not mentally ready for the conversation you were going to have with Jake but at this point they were inevitable.

When your tent came into view you could see him squatted down by his army green boxes with his gun in hand and cleaning supplies laid out. Hearing your footsteps crunching behind him Jake’s ears perked up and he looked over his shoulder. His body visibly relaxed when he realized that it was only you and not some intruder and without a word he went back to cleaning his weapon.

You made it to the tent entrance and stopped. That tired part of you that just wanted the day to end, told you to go inside and nibble on the dinner that Kiri had prepared and then climb into your hammock to drift off into a dreamless sleep. But that other part of you, the more resilient part told you to confront Jake. The latter won.

“What happened to Neteyam and Lo’ak just being scouts?” You asked. Your back still turned to him. You could hear the sharp sigh come from Jake as he paused cleaning out the gunpowder residue from the barrel before going right back to it.

“They were supposed to be scouts.” He responded gruffly and you shifted so you could see him. “But that knucklehead is just determined to be in the fight.” You watched Jake’s movement as he fed the bristled rod into the barrel, his movements quick and aggressive.

“He has a name.” You retorted and the Marine side eyed you while you continued. “Lo’ak just wants to prove himself to you Jake. He keeps on trying to be that perfect little soldier that you are molding him to be!” You knew your words were harsh as you came to stand in front of Jake. “But when you do not notice his efforts, that is when he takes drastic action to get you to notice him! He doesn't care if it is positive or negative! He has already lost a mother, do not make him lose a father.”

It was that there, that did the man in. Jake slammed the gun down causing the rest of the items on the boxes to tip and fall to the ground as he rose to his full height towering you. His ears were back as he pointed an accusatory finger at you. “You do not get to say that.” He growled, his voice dangerously low. “I only let the boys be scouts to deter them from fighting! I do not want them to have anything to do with this war but you know as well as I that if I tell Lo’ak, Neteyam even to stay here while I go out they are just going to follow.” Your faces were close now, your eyes narrowed as your tail lashed dangerously. “Watch yourself before you go spouting off shit that you don’t know.”

You held each other’s gazes for a few more moments before Jake turned away to gather the things that had fallen to the ground signaling that your conversation was done. You shot him one final glare wanting to have the final word but deciding that it was not worth it you shook your head with a tired sigh and made your way into the tent as a loud clap of thunder rang out in the sky and the rain came crashing down.

The next morning everything was wet from the torrential downpour that lasted throughout the night. Normally you welcomed the rain having always enjoyed storms but this one made you uneasy as you shielded Tuk from the thunder in your hammock that night.

The kids had left early that morning with Spider and Jake was gone before any of you were up leaving you and Neteyam to yourselves. Having no chores to do around camp and no one in need right away you looked to the fifteen year old who sat on the makeshift steps outside your tent. “Let’s go for a fly.” You called to him, your visor perched on your forehead and your mic choker on. Neteyam instantly perked up at this as he looked back at you and it was not long that you found yourself soaring through the skies.

You took a deep breath as you leaned back on your Ikran, Eylan. The name did not mean anything bold such as skull crusher or fire bolt as some Na’vi liked to name their Ikrans, yours was simply named Eylan: friend. Because in the moment you got her to be your companion you wanted her more for a friend than just a pair of wings to carry you.

Looking back you did find the idea to be silly but Eylan stuck for the graceful Ikran. Eylan was smaller than some Ikran but what she lacked in size she made up for in speed and stealth which when you used to go hunting you found to be beneficial.

You looked back at Neteyam who was turning his head to take in his surroundings, the quietness of the sky was calming for the both of you. It was just what you needed. But as you began to signal to Neteyam that it was time to head back after you had been flying for quite some time Lo’ak’s voice rang out in your ears.

You listened closely as he talked to his father reporting how there were maybe six or so na’vi looking people near the old shack but they were dressed in sky people clothes. Neteyam instantly caught on that something was wrong as the two of you circled around in the air. “Lo’ak who all is with you.” You commed in, your fingers pressing the buttons to turn on the mic.

There was a pause and Lo’aks voice came back. “Just Spider and I.” He lied and you instantly caught on. “Where are Kiri and Tuk?” You asked only to be given silence for a few more seconds. “With me ma’am.” Lo’ak responded and you refrained from hissing. Sometimes you yourself wanted to pop him on the back of the head. “Okay son, get out of there now, do not engage.” Jake’s voice cut in. “We’re on our way.”

You took your finger off the button on your choker and looked at Neteyam. “They are at the old shack.” You called and he nodded. “I know a shortcut!” He responded before sending his Ikran into a dive, you and Eylan in his wake.

By the time you arrived it was past eclipse and dark clouds blocked out any light that the stars provided. The rain started to fall as you and Neteyam landed. You were partially surprised to find Bob already resting there, Jake peeking around a tree. He turned around hearing the two of you land. In an instant you disconnected your braid from Eylan and dismounted, flicking your visor up. Reaching into your pouch connected to your saddle you went to pull out your barbed tipped whip but Jake shook his head.

“Too many trees,” he whispered, “Bring the axe, more subtle.”

“What do we do if we are pursued? Neither of us have a bow on us.” You whispered back, setting the whip back in its pouch and pulling your axe from its sleeve.

“We’ll see when the time comes.” Jake responded before looking at Neteyam. “Stay with the Ikrans, we’ll be back soon.” At his father’s words Neteyam wanted to ask to come but you gave him a gentle look that read “stay” and the boy sighed but backed down, staying back and watching the two of you disappear into the jungle.

With each step that you took, leading you deeper into the woods the worse that the rain got, thunder rumbling overhead blocking their scent. All you could smell was wet wood and mud as you skillfully made your way through without slipping.

When the shack came into view, you could see the kids standing stiffly, each of them in front of a soldier as their queues were held harshly in their grasps. You could hear Tuk’s sniffles and Kiri’s quiet prayers to Ewya. You and Jake swapped glances before nodding and splitting up, circling around the group. The two of you never got along, nor understood each other but when it came to the kids that was something you were willing to set aside your bitterness to protect them.

Keeping low you krept up on an avatar, his back turned to you. You jumped up, covered his mouth and buried the sharp side of your axe into his neck, holding him by the neck until you were sure he was dead, his head lolling to the side. You eyed his gun for a moment. You had seen Jake use his before, maybe you could use it? But you shook your head at the thought. Never did you want to use what the sky people made, especially one of their weapons.

Making your way over to another soldier you reached up to grab her but this one happened to turn around seeing you. And that was when the chaos broke loose. The avatar woman fired her gun and you managed to drop down to your belly in the mud just in time avoiding getting hit. At the sound of the gun fire the men got out their own weapons and started firing blind.

Had the kids not been in such danger you would have laughed at how uncoordinated they were, neither you or Jake having a single bullet come near you as you went to rescue the kids. Jerking the queue of the avatar that held Kiri they let out a grunt of pain and instinctively let the girl go. The avatar in turn though reached back and grabbed your queue long with a fist full of your hair causing you to yelp and snarl as he forced your head back. “Not so brave now are you mama?” He sneered. You tried to snap at him but it was a pathetic attempt at being fierce.

“Let her go!” A voice shouted and there came Lo’ak tackling the avatar causing him to let go of you. Once you were free you grabbed Lo’ak pulling him off the military man before the teen could do any real damage. “Go!” You hissed, “make sure that they get out!” Lo’ak hesitate and you snarled, causing the boy to run.

But you were not able to watch him for long when your attention was drawn away hearing Kiri’s screams coming from a different direction of where Lo’ak left. You found yourself running down the trail, dodging roots and using some branching to swing to get you up higher where you heard Kiri. When you finally got to her it looked like she was trying to get to someone who was down below but with the gunfire getting closer you knew there was not much time before you were under fire again.

“Kiri we have to go.” You said sternly taking her by the hand trying to pull along but Kiri pulled back. “No! I will not leave Spider!” Her voice cracked with a fearful sob and you then understood that it was Spider who had fallen. You were torn. Spider was technically safe seeing as he was human while you and Kiri were in danger, but Spider was also like family. You were not given much more time to think as another gunshot rant out, this one too close to you both.

“Kiri sweety I am sorry but we have to go.” You urged getting behind her and shoving her down the path forcing her to run. As you ran away from the spot you were just at you heard it be overcome with avatar and Kiri let out a sob knowing that was where Spider was laying helpless.

“I am sorry baby,” you whispered looking up at the sky as you both ran asking Ewya why she was showing her cruelty once more.

It was a quiet ride back home, Kiri’s arms around your waist while Tuk rode with her father and Lo’ak was with Neteyam. You felt that fear that you had three years ago when being forced to mate with Jake. That fear that backed you into a corner and suffocated you. You knew this was Ewya, you knew she was mad and that scared you.

Your home was no longer safe. No longer was it a sanctuary where you could let your guard down and live in peace. No. Ewya’s wrath had almost taken Jake’s children from him. You knew what needed to be done as you looked around at the glowing forest below, blurred out by the rain crashing down on you all.

When you landed back in high camp everyone still remained silent. Tired and wet was what you all were feeling, mixed in with your exshuastion. You let the kids go in first before turning to Jake.

He stood there, looking down at the dirt with his hands on his hips as he contemplated what to do. When he looked up at you, you nodded in agreement. Jake did not need to say anything to you, you knew.

You needed to leave.

🏷: @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @newjeansbonnie @cleverzonkwombatsludge @atxara

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haechannielove · 9 months

Text

High and horny (M)

Preview - He takes your hand and rubs it on his bulge, through his soft shorts. “Do you feel what you do to me? This is all yours.” you start to feel the tension in your chest. “This is all mine Renjunnie?” He lets out a small soft whine.

Pairing - stoner!renjun x fem!reader

Au - Non-idol

Rating - 18+, fluffy at the end I guess LOL

Word count - 1.4k

Warnings - high sex, unprotected sex, touching of the private area (both reader and Renjun touch each other)

Setting - readers bedroom

A/n - made for anon (im pretty sure I know who requested LOL (not in a creepy way I was just digging around 😭)) ANYWAY ANON I HOPE YOU ENJOY PLEASE PLEASE DO AGH im so excited to be back!! Also im sorry for ANY typos or anything!! Agh enjoy

The night has been pretty tame since you and your best friend have finished the blunt off. There’s some slow conversation going on and lots of giggling and eye contact. Some conversations relating to school life, occupation, even some words about past relationships.

You and Renjun have been good friends since elementary school. You’re both all grown up now and it feels pretty amazing to be able to see each other so often. Both of you were pretty busy as children, one was always busy with sports, jobs, after school activities in general. But now that you both can drive and both are out living on your own, you see each other almost daily.

“Jun” You cut yourself off to make sure he’s paying attention to you. He looks over at you. There's that eye contact again. You continue.

“You do know that you can talk to me about anything right?” he just looks at you.

“Of course, why do you say that?” you look at him again, staring into those beautiful eyes.

“I just want you to know that even though I am a girl-” he cuts you off, whispering something under his breath

“a beautiful one” you just look at him.

“What did you say Junnie?” you’re not sure if what you heard was accurate.

“Nothing, continue?” you carry on, “Just because I’m a girl doesn't mean you can't tell me about your feelings and such. You know that right?” he blinks and nods his head.

You both continue with your conversations, jumping from each topic like a frog to a lilypad. The endless stories you guys have together keep spewing out of your mouths like endless ropes of words. Though your words are jumbled, you both understand each other like no other.

Some more time passes and for some reason there’s tension between the two of you. Renjun keeps looking down at your lips and at your breasts… and your thighs.

“y/n” you look at him. those damn eyes.

“Hm?” he opens his mouth hesitant. “Your tank top is coming down really far” he giggles.

You look down at your falling top and laugh. “Why are you looking then, hm?” you say sarcastically. “Because I can’t help myself” he says and you smile at each other.

You both move on for a bit until you look down and see that Renjun is hard in his loose cotton shorts. You point down at it. “What's that about?” his face flushes. “Happens sometimes”

Maybe it's because you're both high out of your minds, or maybe the dim lighting around, maybe even the fact that you're both in barely any clothing sitting on your bed. Who knows?

You would be lying if you said you didn’t find Renjun extremely attractive. I mean he’s everything anyone would want in a man. Beautiful voice, boy can he sing, he’s kind and considerate, everything.

You close your eyes for a second.

While your eyes are closed you feel his soft hands caress your face. You open your heavy lids and look into his. He lightly bites onto his bottom lip and slowly lets go. You move closer to him to close the gap between you two. Your knees are touching and you’re just looking into each other's eyes.

“y/n I really really want you to touch me right now” You look up at him with your head slightly tilted downward. “Please dont look at me with those eyes baby”

He takes your hand and rubs it on his bulge, through his soft shorts. “Do you feel what you do to me? This is all yours.” you start to feel the tension in your chest. “This is all mine Renjunnie?” He lets out a small soft whine.

You decide to move your hand up and down his hard dick. With each movement he lets out heavy breaths and whimpers. His soft voice making way into your ears like a sweet song. He stops you and you look up at him confused.

“Please let me touch you as well, please y/n. I’m craving your body, I'm hungry and eager to touch you, just please.” you quickly nod your head.

You've never felt so horny in your entire life. The boy you grew up with is now the boy roaming his hands all over your body. He’s now the boy who's showing you how much you affect his own.

You take his hands off of you for a second so that you can strip yourself of your clothes, but before you do you look at Renjun. His eyes are practically in the shape of hearts, all for you.

“Wanna undress me Renjunnie?” You can tell that nickname gets him going. You’re certain by the way his cock twitches anytime you say the name.

Renjun reaches his arms out to take your tank top off first. Your boobs are perfectly sitting in your bra. His breathing starts to hitch. “y/n you look so fucking beautiful, you take my breath away.” you literally do. Renjun takes a second to pull your bra down a bit to expose your nipples.

“Please take it off for me babe.” He obliges.

He’s now holding your breasts in each hand. Rubbing his fingers over your hard nipples. He takes one into his mouth while rubbing the other one with 2 of his long slender fingers. You let out soft little moans that make him feel even more high.

You eventually take your pants off while he does the same. You’re both left in your underwear. He's rubbing your sensitive clit through your silk panties.

You both take the rest of your clothing, the only thing left of each other is the radiating horniness and tension that somehow keeps getting even thicker.

His cock is so pretty. Pretty deep pink head, long and thick, but not TOO thick. Fits right in your hand, eventually finding out how well he fits in your throat as well.

Renjun lightly thrusts his hips upward, occasionally gagging you. You bop your head up and down slowly, everything is moving so so slow, the passion is peaking by the second.

Before Renjun feels he is about to finish, he stops you.

“Would you be willing to let me fuck you? I promise to make you cum, not a single day goes by where im not thinking about fucking the daylights out of you y/n.” you just stare into his eyes once again, something about his fucking eyes. You feel as if you can see galaxies spinning in them. Renjun is a walking beauty in your mind. He always has been. “I one hundred percent want that Junnie.”

You’re both so horny and out of your mind that you don’t even care for a condom, you make him promise to pull out.

You straddle him, aligning your wet heat with his erect dick. He slowly pushes upward, causing a breathy moan to come out of your pretty mouth.

He continues to go in and out of you while whispering things into your ear. Things like, “youre the only girl I know who could ever make me feel this fucking horny baby” “you make me feel so good, your pussy is so tight” “I’m so addicted to you baby, this feels like a dream”.

He reaches a hand down to play with your clit, you’re getting closer and closer by each thrust he does inside of you. The atmosphere is full of complete lust and the air is filled with sex.

“Junnie youre doing so good, I love this feeling of every inch of you inside of me… mmmh fuck” you whisper into his ear. He’s still rubbing your clit and thrusting all of his length inside of you.

“y/n i'm going to cum baby… are you close?” the words spill out of his pretty lips quickly but smoothly.

“I'm going to cum soon just- mm please, please keep going.” you’re completely breathless and dick drunk.

Renjun gets you to climax better than anyone ever has before.

“M’junnie you’re so good to me” you say at your peak.

“y/n please let me cum in your mouth” you nod your head

Renjun ends up fucking your mouth a little bit before completely finishing and to say the least, he tasted amazing and this was NOT the last time you guys did this.

Afterwards, You both took a nice warm bath together and smoked a little more. You guys had something to eat and watched a movie together. You both fell asleep in each other's arms and this was sure as hell not the last night that this occurred.

#renjun x reader #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #renjun x y/n #renjun smut #renjun x you #renjun x fem!reader #stoner renjun hehe

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parentsday · 1 month

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i think david was a lot more like max as a kid but he softened the story he told to max nikki and neil in the car

thank you for the ask anon !! for your reference reading this made me grimace in a way that a wounded dog would upon seeing a piece of meat !! but seriously this is a topic that is very important to my personal and possibly general understanding of these two characters, so im just gonna say that i agree with you and such interpretation of david’s character is very easy to call accurate to canon as both david and max are written with obvious intent to be seen as parallels of one another, more so than they are written to be character foils.

max and david are set to be read as opposites in the show from the very start and i think this is also the easiest and safest way to perceive both of their characters if this shows meta doesn’t interest you. their standpoints and life views are seemingly removed as far away from each other as humanly possible and we are reminded of it more than necessary in the earlier content. the show tries really hard to make it look like david is an inherently good person put against max’s necessary evil, so it seems only right to view them this way. and yet the first two seasons of the show do a spectacular job at showing us that david is not at all as good of a person as he tries to be (not tries to appear, but tries to be, important bc first one is max’s perspective on david’s person while the second one is a description actually accurate to him). early seasons david is undeniably selfish and just as much of an asshole as max is, keep in mind that this is not my personal view on his character but a fact in canon that we are reminded of time and time again and is also something that gets lampshaded by the writers during the parents day episode. he pushes his positive perspective of the way things should be just as hard as max pushes his negative one, if not more, he behaves in his own personal interests instead of interests of others or the interests of camp constantly and guess who is the only other character in the show who does this just as often (the answer is max). the only reason why it’s not always easy to pin point this stuff is because they are constantly posed in situations that require them to act dissimilarly enough for it to create a contrast which isn’t always easy to pick up on as something intentionally vague and done for specific narrative purpose. this similarity extends onto the fact that they are both victims of abuse and the show is well aware of it and uses it to its own advantage. both max and david deal with their trauma in drastically different ways as seen by the way they talk about the world surrounding them, but the core of it is the same and that’s the important part of it.

so i believe it’s very safe to say that even if david didn’t say anything that would allude to him changing the story about his younger self to be nicer than it actually was, it sure was implied by the writers in the subtext of that episode, maybe in the subtext of the show in its entirety. early camp camp content surrounding these two based itself very heavily on david’s belief that his similarity to max is what will push this kid to become just like him in the future, so it really is not out of the left field to assume david was a lot more like max when he was younger. most probably because in many ways he still is just like him.

tldr; david sees himself in max in more ways than one and the show’s writing feels the same way because they intentionally wrote them to be as similar as possible. the writers rely heavily on these two being narrative parallels to make their characters work in the way they do so your headcanon is as real as it gets anon ^^

#camp camp #camp camp meta analysis #david cc #max cc #is it obvious i tried my best not to dadvid out in this one #treating these two like they are not intertwined in my mind just so none of you get the found family ick.. mwah mwah

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mybiasisexo · 5 months

Text

Entangled - Part 9

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Alcohol Consumption | Language take a shot whenever you see the f word smh Word Count: 8.3k Author Notes: So...Im sorry 😬? But aye, what's a story without a beach chapter, am I right?? I can't believe how close we are to the finish line. I think we have 3 chapters left ??? give or take. wooow will I actually finish a story for the first time in my life?? (like a real one not just a lil scenario haha). Sorry for the late update, I was gonna post on yeols bday but thought this wasnt a great present lmfaooo As always, dont be shy with letting me know your thoughts on the chapter, a def will need to know how you all feel at the end of this one 😮‍💨. Thank you to everybody still rocking with the story, it means sooo much to me 💕 and give our boy chanyeol some loooove MWAH!!!

It doesn’t take Seulgi and you long to change and head down to the beach. Being able to see the guys from up in your room, you join them quickly.

They got their hands on a grill somehow, and you find Jongdae already cooking on it, beer in one hand.

“Already looking like a dad, Dae,” Seulgi announces in greeting, taking in his unbuttoned green Hawaiian shirt, oversized sunglasses, and fisherman’s hat. He grins brightly and rewards her with a fresh piece of juicy meat.

Beside Jongdae and the grill sits a long table covered with food, drinks, and a bluetooth speaker currently playing chill R&B. A little further behind him is a blue canopy to block the blazing sun from your sensitive skin, chairs littered underneath it.

This area of the beach is privately owned, for hotel residents only. Despite how large the hotel is, only a few other families dot the shore, all far enough away that your little party is practically secluded.

You drop your bag onto a chair and dig into it, pulling out a bottle of sunscreen. You rub it into any skin of yours exposed before walking out of the canopy, holding it up for everyone to see. “Who needs some?”

Sehun and Jongin come running towards you, both only wearing swim trunks. You suck your teeth, their backs are probably already screaming at them.

Jongin gets to you first. You turn him around and begin to apply the protective lotion onto his back, where it will be hard for him to reach.

“We missed you last night,” he says.

“I know,” you reply. For some reason, your throat constricts, dragging your voice down to a deep mumble. “I’m sorry for leaving. I just….”

“I understand,” he says, patting one of your hands. Throwing his head back, he tosses you a sweet grin. You return his smile before handing him the bottle so that he can cover the rest of himself.

With Jongin preoccupied, Sehun makes his way over, already trying to get a read on you. He understands the language of your body enough to fill in blanks you don’t even know are empty.

“Good afternoon,” you greet, keeping your voice neutral.

“He’s in the water,” is his reply.

“Who?” Damn this man. He’s good.

He scoffs. “Please, you’ve been scanning the area non stop since you’ve arrived. Baekhyun had to drag him out as soon as he got here. He was getting pretty worked up about something. I’m assuming it was the fact you weren’t here.”

“Weird,” is your convincing response. You push his arm, leading him to turn around so that you can attempt to save him from skin cancer.

“Weird, indeed.” Despite not being able to see you, his curious gaze can still be felt. “Makes me wonder what happened after you left the reception.”

“Not something I really want to talk about.” You wince, knowing you’ve slipped up and said too much. The simple sentence bares a lot to unpack, and Sehun loves other people’s dirty laundry.

But, in Sehun fashion, he doesn’t push. It’s one thing you love about him. Instead, he faces you and grabs the sunscreen, silently lotioning the rest of his body. When he’s done he reaches over to you, pulling at the black kimono you had meticulously put on over your swimsuit, to return the favor.

“Sehun!”

He yanks the thin fabric and it falls off your shoulders. You both freeze. He only lifts an eyebrow as his eyes rake down the expansion of your exposed skin littered in harsh dark bruises. His gaze lingers for an uncomfortably long time. You want to pull away, but find yourself paralyzed, a mouse caught in the stare of a hungry snake.

“Stop staring.”

The voice is gruff. A wet hand pulls at your arm, ripping the kimono from Sehun’s frozen hand. You stumble backwards until you hit a chill wetness that makes you hiss as it soaks into your back. Sehun’s eyes are the only thing to move as they shift to the person protectively hovering behind you. His expression is cool, but you catch the way his eyes alight in amusement. Swallowing thickly, you work the courage to see who’s caught his attention….

Chanyeol stops glaring at Sehun long enough to spin you around so that you’re facing each other. With gentle fingers, he fixes your pullover, maneuvering it so that it’s covering your neck, hiding most of the damage.

He clicks his tongue in dismay. “This won’t do.”

“I have a shirt,” you inform in a small voice. “It doesn’t have a collar though.”

“One second.” Chanyeol walks away, no longer blocking the radiant view of crashing teal waves, powdery sand, and miles of blue sky. White clouds speckle the troposphere, the negative image of your neck and chest. Off to your right, Sehun still stands, a glorious statue made of pale marble.

You can’t bring yourself to acknowledge his presence.

Chanyeol returns. In his hands is the ugly Hawaiian shirt Jongdae was wearing.

You become aware of the rashguard covering his torso. The collar is high, covering the base of his neck where any hickeys can be hidden, although you can just barely see the start of one peeking out. You curse yourself for not thinking of buying one.

“May I?” He gently asks. Is that not how he asked to strip you last night? The reminder takes your voice, as does the reserved look in his eyes. He’s testing the water, trying to see where you both stand at the moment. You nod, allowing him access to touch you, lost in his grim expression.

Gently, ever so gently, his fingers brush over your shoulders, sneaking under the thin garment. You battle a shiver as he lifts the back of his hands, knocking the fabric off with his knuckles. You roll back your shoulders, helping him make the cover cascade onto the sand below.

Chanyeol’s bright eyes wander over your flesh. He grunts in satisfaction at the sight of the marks he’s made, pride coloring his features. And you’re transfixed, gulping back saliva flooding your mouth like high tide. Your breathing grows erratic, fingers itching to touch him in return. Apparently that tension hasn’t fully gone away. Looks like you’ll be attracted to him for life.

You want to say something, want to voice an excuse to get your hands on him, but a sharp whistle cuts through the air before you can speak, breaking the spell Chanyeol has you falling under. You blink away your thirst, remembering where you are, of the audience you have.

“Looks like you got into some fun last night!” Jongdae, the culprit of the whistle, points out in a yell.

You’re now hyper aware of all your friends. Baekhyun, who you’re just now noticing, sits in the shallow part of the water where the waves roughly push him, dressed identically to Chanyeol. He’s looking in your general direction, squinting against the sun to see what all the commotion is about. Seulgi stands beside Jongdae. She’s in the middle of applying sunscreen, one of her legs lifted like a flamingo. She doesn’t have to say anything for you to hear her ‘oh shit’, wobbling as she balances on that one leg. Sehun is still staring right next to you, but the whistle was able to jolt him back from stone. Then there is Jongin, who jogs back to where everyone is congregated to curiously see what is going on.

Being the only one moving, your head spins over to him, seeing how his mouth slacks and his eyes widen in shock.

“What happened?” He asks, concerned.

Embarrassed, you snatch the shirt out of Chanyeol’s grip, rushing to put it on so that everyone will stop staring at you like you just told them you murdered someone.

“Mind your business,” you snap. You regret it instantly when Jongin’s face falls like a kicked puppy. It can’t be helped, you have a tendency to lash out when embarrassed.

“Dae! The meat!””

Gratefully, a hard gust of wind blows in, lifting the aluminum foil with the cooking meat off the grill, falling onto the sand.

That distracts everyone from you. You thank a higher power.

Jongdae stares forlornly at the meat, watching sand coat it like seasoning.

“What are you doing!” Baekhyun yelps, rushing to his feet. “Pick it up!”

That pulls Jongdae out of whatever trance he was in and he lurches forward, grabbing the hot foil and tossing it onto the end of the table. He hisses and shakes his hands, sticking a reddening thumb into his mouth.

Baekhyun rushes over to the table for quality control and his shoulders slump at the damage.

“This batch is no good.”

“Way to go, Jongdae,” Chanyeol chides. He then peeks over to you, surreptitiously checking your reaction.

“Shut it!” Jongdae snaps back.

Seeing a good opportunity to escape, you go to make your way over to Seulgi. Chanyeol is not having that, and you only get one step in before he’s snatching your wrist, holding you in place in front of him.

“Don’t go,” he begs under his breath.

You refuse to look up at him, knowing that whatever expression he currently wears will kill what little resolve you have. You know you need to discuss what happened the night before, and why he woke up alone this morning, but you hate confrontation and don't want to have this conversation right at this moment. To be honest, you just want to relax for a bit. Is that so wrong?

You remain silent, not really sure what to say to get him off your back for the time being.

“Just talk to me,” he urges. “You were gone when I woke up, and….”

He falls silent, and you can’t resist the temptation any longer. You break and lift your chin, sucking in a breath at what greets you. It’s that same tortured expression from yesterday. Nerves, apprehension, and defeat swim in his opaque orbs, purple his lips. And you know you can no longer prolong with conversation. He’s hurting. You’re hurting him, and it’s not fair to keep tormenting him like this.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks dejectedly, intently searching you for the answer.

You open your mouth to answer him. To tell him no, he did nothing wrong, but then Seulgi is calling your name and running up to you. She grabs the arm Chanyeol isn’t holding. “Let’s get in the water. It’s hot.”

She completely ignores Chanyeol as she heads for the shore, dragging you with her.

“I’m sorry,” is all you’re able to get out before you’re pulled completely from his gentle touch. He releases your wrist without a fight, letting you retreat glumly.

“I’m going to have to talk to him eventually,” you tell Seulgi, rolling your eyes. You hit the water and hiss from the shock of the freezing temperature.

“You two don’t get much talking done when you’re together,” she answers, breathless from the cold of the water.

Ignoring–and also maybe even embracing–the pain from the waves chilling your warm skin, you both run until you’re thigh deep and then dive right in, swimming deeper into the abyss.

You float on your back and try to focus on the paradise you’re in, instead of the devastated look in Chanyeol’s eyes. To no avail.

There’s some crashing noises that pull you upright to see Baekhyun running in to join Seulgi and you.

When he’s close, he jumps onto Seulgi, pulling her under water. Not one to miss an opportunity, you hop onto his back. The three of you break the surface, sputtering for air.

You stay secured around Baekhyun as you all catch your breaths.

“What the hell,” Seulgi coughs, splashing him in the face. He laughs, but chokes on the sea salt, and you squeal when you’re caught in her attack.

Letting go of Baekhyun, you swim back around so that Seulgi and you are turned towards the shore with him facing you both.

“Is he still sulking?” He asks.

You dare a glance over to where Chanyeol is, refusing to acknowledge how quickly you’re able to seek him out. He’s in the chair you had claimed, watching the water with a sullen pout as he rests his chin in his hand.

“Oh yeah,” Seulgi answers. “The clouds around him are turning gray, he’s in such a mood.”

“He wouldn’t be like that if you’d stop avoiding him, you know?”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you say. “We just spoke.”

Baekhyun snorts. “Yeah and I can tell you’re both on the same page. Nice talk.”

He throws you a sarcastic thumbs up, you stick your tongue out at him.

He grows solemn. “Please, say something to him. The poor man is beating himself up right now.”

You sink further into the water, dipping in until your mouth is submerged, and run a hand over the tiny waves bobbing you.

Beside you, Seulgi sighs. “I may have ruined their talk.”

Baekhyun throws his head back and groans. “You’re killing me, Smalls.”

“How was I supposed to know?” She asks. “It looked like they were about to ditch us and fuck again. I’m just trying to help her not make another decision she’s going to instantly regret.”

“Whatever happens between them is their business, Seulgi,” Baekhyun says, sounding uncharacteristically reasonable. “You have to let them work through it their way.”

You wave your hand above your head like a needy sim. “I’m right here, you know?”

Seulgi pouts like a chastised child. “You’re right.”

Both Baekhyun and you spin your heads towards her in surprise.

“Did you just say I’m right?” Baekhyun asks. His shock quickly morphs into cockiness, if the grin splitting his face is any indicator.

She’s now the one to groan. “I will not be repeating myself.”

“I’ll cherish the moment for the rest of my life.” Baekhyun turns to you and his smile softens. “Talk to him soon. He’s getting annoying.”

“I will. I promise.” You assure. “Thank you, Hyunnie, for doing this. I know it isn’t easy for you either, being in the middle like this. I appreciate it.”

He shrugs. “You’re both my friends. I want to see you happy. I just hope you can work it out.”

Jongin and Jongdae come barrelling towards your group. As soon as you see your sweet friend, you can’t help but hold your arms out for him.

“Nini!” You cry. He laughs and falls into your embrace, tackling you back into the depths of the sea. When you both emerge, you apologize for yelling at him.

“You’re forgiven,” he says, never taking anything to heart. “But I was surprised. I didn’t expect to see all your bruises. It looks like you got beat up.”

You whine his name. “You’re making it worse.”

“Hey, they do say that weddings are the best place to pick up chicks,” Jongdae says. “Well, I guess dudes for you. Unless….”

He gives you a wicked smirk and you splash him.

“Anyway, good on you for getting some. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Jongdae,” you say dryly, rolling your eyes. “Also, my bad on the shirt. I forgot I was wearing it before I got in here.”

He takes notice of his button down floating around you and gasps dramatically. “You better wash it before you give it back. It was expensive.”

You look at him skeptically. “This tourist shirt?”

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to have those two cook the meat?” Baekhyun asks, putting your incoming argument with Jongdae to a halt. All five of you turn to the last people still on dry land. The tall boys stand over the grill, Chanyeol with the tongs in his hand. His eyebrows are scrunched as he listens to Sehun adamantly speaking, nodding and answering occasionally. it’s a deep conversation you don’t want any part of.

Jongdae shrugs. “I need a break. It’s hot.”

You all play in the water for some time. Once hunger becomes too great to ignore, you swim back to the beach. Immediately, you crack open a cold beer, nearly moaning when it hits your belly. Now this is what you need. You’ve been sober far too long.

Jongdae wasn’t lying about the heat. Even under the canopy, you can’t escape the sun’s harsh rays. You succumb to the weather and peel off Jongdae’s now dry shirt, not caring anymore if the other’s see your marks, it’s already old news.

Slowly, you all make your way to the table. it’s out in the open and everyone is a bit hesitant to sit out there, but that’s where the food resides. Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol take off their shirts, overwhelmed by the temperature.

“Holy shit, Yeol,” you hear Jongdae say. “What happened to you?”

Everyone glances over to the tall man and your heart sinks at the sight of his exposed back. It’s hard to miss the rows of scratches you carved down his shoulder blades, red and angry.

At the mention of his name, Chanyeol turns around, revealing his neck, shoulders, and chest that look exactly like yours. Actually, his marks are deeper, darker. You were really letting him have it. In your defense, he did encourage you to do your worst, so it is hard for you to find any sympathy to send to the giant.

A loaded silence fills the area as he locks eyes with you. You sigh. That’s enough of an answer for everyone.

Giving up, you chug your beer empty as the extra heat of everyone’s attention bounces back and forth between you both, connecting the purple and blue dots.

“No way….” Jongin’s fingers trace the trail of his eyes. “Did you two…?”

You close your eyes in dismay. You’re going to hear it now.

“Wait a damn minute!” Jongdae’s loud ass voice echoes over the speaker. “You mean to tell me Chanyeol was the one who left those hickeys on you!?”

He gives you an impressed grin. “You naughty girl.”

You simply sink lower into your chair.

“Are you guys together now?” Jongin asks, bouncing on his toes in giddy excitement.

“I mean….” Chanyeol searches you out in hopes you’ll answer that question for him as well.

The attention has you awkwardly laughing, readjusting yourself so that you’re sitting properly again.

“Please, you guys,” you say, laughter coating every consonant. “It’s nothing.”

Chanyeol’s head tilts at that, eyes fluttering in confusion. “What do you mean ‘nothing’?”

Your heart sinks as you realize you’ve made matters much worse. Chanyeol’s getting worked up now, and the last thing you want is to fight in front of everybody.

“I just mean it’s not a big deal.”

If your first sentence was you putting your foot in your mouth, this one is the whole damn leg.

“Not a big deal?” He repeats skeptically. He turns so that he’s properly looking at you, making sure he’s understanding correctly. “You think us having sex is ‘not a big deal’?”

“Okay,” Jongdae drawls. “Not together then.”

“That’s not what I meant,” you begin to explain, really wishing this conversation wasn’t happening like this. “It was a big deal to me, okay? But they shouldn’t expect more because of it.”

“Like us getting back together?” He continues to question in a monotonous tone. “You’re saying that they shouldn’t get their hopes up about us getting back together just because we had sex.”

“Exactly!” You clap, glad he understands.

“So that wasn’t us getting back together?”

His disappointment is hard to disguise, and it makes you feel bad. Again you’re reminded that if you’d just talked before this wouldn’t be happening. You sigh and prepare yourself to explain where you’re coming from.

“Chanyeol–”

“Meat’s getting cold,” Sehun interrupts, ending the real conversation before it can start. You’re grateful for it, still not mentally prepared to break Chanyeol’s heart any further, although it seems you may be past that point. Chanyeol’s jaw is tense, honestly everything about him is tense as he nods his head like he finally understands something before stomping over to the table, sitting at the end furthest from the canopy. He grabs a beer, cracking it open and guzzling it down rather aggressively.

Everyone else reluctantly takes Chanyeol’s lead. When Baekhyun passes you, he grimaces, politely letting you know that you messed up. Sehun is the last to walk past. He stops and reaches a hand out for you to grab. You sigh before taking it, allowing him to pull you up.

“The last thing I want right now is a lecture,” you tell him.

“I’m just checking on you,” he assures. “You good?”

You stare at him. ‘Do I look like I’m good’ written all over your face and he grins, gaining the reaction he wanted. It’s gone as quick as it comes, an air of seriousness taking over.

“I thought we talked about this.” He starts.

You point a finger at him. “Lecture.”

He purses his lips and lets his attention wander to the table. Everyone is trying their best to lighten the mood. You look also and are surprised to see Seulgi attempt to make small talk with Chanyeol, although he doesn’t appear that interested in the conversation.

“Okay, no lecture, but let me say one thing.” You groan. “Don’t leave this island with unfinished business. That’s only going to hurt you both more.”

You’re still taking in the table as he speaks, and Chanyeol must feel it because he’s looking back at you. He holds your stare for a few seconds, then catches himself and breaks the contact. It’s selfish, but you’re comforted by the familiar longing still lingering there.

You nod at Sehun’s words, turning back to him. “Yeah. Got it.”

He doesn’t believe you and his expression says as much.

“Hey! Hurry up and grab a plate!” Jongin orders you both.

Sehun pats your arm and heads over to the table, you follow a few steps behind. The food is delicious and the alcohol starts flowing. Soon the sun starts its slow descent, and with full bellies, you all relax more. At this moment, you can’t help but to miss Junmyeon. He’s always the one taking pictures, annoying everyone by forcing you all to pose for what feels like hundreds of photos. Sehun, his successor, makes sure to take as many candids and selfies as he can. You find it easy to smile whenever the camera is focused on you, even when Chanyeol is also in the frame.

Speaking of Chanyeol, the beer, good food, and friendship seems to be working in lifting his spirits. His loud voice carries throughout the beach, and you catch his boisterous laugh from time to time. You’re relieved to know that you haven’t completely ruined this trip for him.

By this point, the sky is a lovely pink and orange, and you’re a bit tipsy. You close your eyes and sway to the beat of whatever song is playing, snapping along. Someone holds your hand, causing your eyes to spring open to see Jongin gently urging you out of your seat. You allow him to drag you into a clear patch of sand near the waves. You start dancing with him, connected hands swinging between you both as you reluctantly laugh. Jongin is your designated dance partner. He’s one of the better dancers of your group, and you’re shy. He got into the habit of getting you out onto the dancefloor to loosen you up in college. Now is no different. You both roll your bodies and sway your hips to the beat, encouraging each other. The longer you dance, the closer you get, until your forehead rests on his collarbone, arms wrap around each other’s waists, and Jongin’s cheek presses atop your head.

“Are you okay?” He softly asks.

His question causes your vision to blur. You stare unseeingly into the now gray sea, waves crashing urgently and tighten your hold around his torso.

“I don’t think so,” you confess.

“I don’t understand,” he says, sounding both confused and frustrated. “You both love each other, right? Why fight?”

“It’s not that simple, Nini. I wish it was, but….” You shake your head, not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

“Is it because of her?” He presses.

You close your eyes at the reminder of Yerim, another person your actions will hurt, and she’s yet to find out of your betrayal.

“Partially,” you admit.

Jongin rubs your back. “It'll work out. As long as you know what you want.”

You wipe your face and pull back to smile up at him, clipping his chin affectionately.

“Now that we’ve had that talk,” you say. “Let’s dance! We’re on vacation! I need to feel like it!”

He chuckles and spins you around so that your back is pressed against his torso.

“Turn the music up!” He orders. Whoever is in charge of the tunes obliges and you’re pleased when a song you can grind to comes on. You throw your arms up into the air and instantly lose yourself to the music, dancing back on Jongin who matches your moves easily.

Not really paying attention to your surroundings, you fail to notice someone joining your little party, but they make themselves known by gripping your arms, ripping you out of Jongin’s hold.

“What the–”

For the second time today, Chanyeol has pulled you away from someone. His hands are wrapped so tightly around your forearms, you wince from the pain. He doesn’t catch your discomfort, too busy giving Jongin the fiercest stare you’ve ever seen.

“Get the fuck off of her!” He snarls, dragging you even closer to him so that your face is pressed against his naked heaving chest.

You lean back and attempt to stare him down, but all you see is his sharp jaw.

“We’re just dancing,” you explain defensively.

That makes him look down at you, and you nearly gulp from the fury reflecting in his black orbs.

“That’s not how you ‘just dance’ with someone!”

That’s when you notice the way his words slightly blend together, notice how unsteady he is on his feet.

“You’re drunk,” you point out disappointedly. Remembering how good that did you both the last time he was under the influence.

He chuckles darkly at that. “So are you.”

Ugh, you aren’t anywhere near as faded as he currently is. You attempt to free yourself from him, but he’s holding onto you too tightly to break. There is no escape.

“Chanyeol, Bro, I swear that’s all we were doing,” Jongin calmly reassures.

“Don’t call me ‘bro’,” Chanyeol hisses. “You’ve always been like this, Jongin. You were always touching her! Don’t think I never noticed.”

“She’s my friend,” he says slowly, carefully, as if he’s speaking to a child.

“And she was my fiance!” Chanyeol all but roars. “But that never stopped you!”

You glance around. His outburst draws everyone’s attention and they watch the three of you curiously. Baekhyun and Sehun start to get up from their seats, probably intending to de-escalate the situation, but you don’t want to get anybody else involved. This is between Chanyeol and you. What is happening now is the consequence of you stalling the ‘what are we’ conversation you should’ve had the night before.

“Leave him alone, Yeol,” you mutter. “He’s not the one you’re mad at. It’s me.”

He doesn’t even spare you a glance, too focused on the man behind you. “Why won’t he answer me then? I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I promise I–”

Before Jongin can finish defending himself, you cut him off by putting your hands on Chanyeol’s chest, throwing your weight to shove him. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have budged, but his inebriation works in your favor, making him stumble a few steps. Unfortunately, he takes you with him, and you fall forward. He lets go of your arms to catch you by the waist, steadying you both.

“You okay?” He asks with worry.

“Yeah,” you huff. You pat his shoulder. “Why don’t we go for a walk?”

There’s a boardwalk a few meters away that looks deserted, that is probably the best place to have this discussion. Not waiting for an answer, you easily break his hold and start walking towards it. Chanyeol says something to Jongin you can’t catch over the sound of the sea, but it sounds smug enough that you sigh deeply in dismay. You’ll apologize to Jongin tomorrow, you promise to yourself.

When you pass the table, you lock eyes with both Baekhyun and Sehun.

“It’s okay,” you assure them, not even sure if you believe it. It’s enough for them, they stand down and nod, trusting you.

The journey is silent. The sun has disappeared completely by the time you’re on the worn wood, enveloping you in an almost foreboding darkness. The crashing of waves are intense beneath you, doing nothing to soothe your nerves. When you reach the end of the walk, you turn around to the man you know was following you the whole time.

He’s on you before you can even speak. His mouth moves roughly against yours, urgent and desperate. His frustration is felt, as is his still present affection. You fall easily into his kiss, giving into him as naturally as you always have. Your hands curl around his neck, pulling him closer. He cups your face, the palms of his hands squishing your cheeks, puckering your lips more for him to devour. He walks you backwards, until your bare back hits the splintered wood of the banister. it digs into your skin, making you whimper, but it’s not enough pain to distract you from the punishing pressure of Chanyeol’s lips.

The groan he lets out in response is tortured, long fingers desperately begin pulling at the band of your swimsuit bottoms, eager to feel all of you again.

In sync, your mouths fall open, tongues colliding and lewdly twirling together. God. Fuck. You want him. You want him so bad it’s driving you crazy. You’re going to fuck him again. You’re going to fuck him right here on this damn boardwalk, space be damned–

But, that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it?

“Stop,” you gasp between kisses.

He hums before tilting his head to kiss you even deeper. Those wandering hands of his slide down to squeeze your ass. You shutter and press yourself more against him, slipping your arms fully around his neck to drag him lower so that he’s curved over you. A sheen of sweat the only thing between your boiling bodies.

Still, you can’t bring yourself to fall back completely into the make out session. Disappointment floods you. Seulgi is right, the two of you can’t be alone for even a second without falling into this toxic habit.

Now annoyed with how weak you are, you finally muster the strength to shove Chanyeol back, officially breaking the kiss.

With much needed space between you, you feel the fog of lust begin to clear and can think better. Chanyeol doesn’t say anything or make a move to resume what you interrupted. No. He just stands there, watching you with an expression you find hard to read as you both attempt to catch your heaving breaths.

“What?” He finally asks, voice hoarse and deeper than hell. “You don’t want me anymore, Mel?”

There’s no sorrow, none of the longing or anger he’s shown throughout the day, which is surprising. It’s almost as if he knew this was how the night was going to go. Like he knew you were going to push him away.

“That….” You swallow thickly. “That’s not it.”

“Then what’s the problem?” He asks, taking a step towards you. You try to counter it, but that leads to more wood stabbing you. You’re sure some break the skin. He takes another step and now he’s directly in front of you, a mere breath away. He lowers his head to be more level with yours, giving you a close up view of his wound up fury.

“The problem,” you nearly stutter, overwhelmed by the hostility now coming off of him in waves. He’s never directed his anger towards you–the situation maybe, but never you–it’s intimidating and scary. You lick your dry lips, trying to find your voice, and he watches detachedly. “My problem is the opposite, Chanyeol. I still very much do.”

“That doesn’t seem like a problem to me.”

“Look at us!” You say. “We can’t be alone for five seconds without being all over each other! Last night was not supposed to happen the way it did! We weren’t supposed to sleep together!”

“But we did,” he snarls through clenched teeth. “And that means something, whether you want it to or not!”

“All that it means to me is we need space. This is too much for me, Yeol. We need time apart to figure out what the hell we actually want.”

“What is too much for you?” He asks, sounding exasperated. “The way I feel about you? The way you still feel about me? What is there to figure out? We still want each other, nothing else matters!”

“We still want each other physically!” You clarify. “I can agree with that, but the longer we’re together, the more I think that’s all we want!”

“Of course not!” He finally yells. You flinch from the volume and that makes him catch himself. He huffs out a breath before repeating in a much gentler tone, “of course not.”

He grabs one of your hands, thumb caressing your knuckles. “You are way more than that. You always have been. This is more than physical to me.”

Everything inside of you is screaming to believe him, and he himself is asking for that. For you to have faith in this, and to give it a chance.

“Then why didn’t you say it back?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he stares at the forming tears in your eyes and the slight wobble of your lips in confusion. He searches for the context to your question. It takes a minute, but then his eyes widen in realization and his mouth falls open, a slight ‘oh’ leaving before he’s snapping it back shut. The look he gives you after that is something akin to pity.

And there is your answer. You pull your hand out of his grasp, using it to wipe away the tears that slipped past your waterline. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

He scrambles in alarm from your withdrawal. “Can you please stop saying shit like that?”

“Why?” You snap. Your irritation grows with every second he doesn’t give you the answer you desire. “It doesn’t. I didn’t mean it anyways. It just slipped out, so…yeah.”

You fidget nervously and try to make out the waves crashing against the wood underneath you. You’re so focused on that, you miss the way Chanyeol recoils in shock. You also miss the reigniting flames of his dimming anger.

“So when you told me you loved me, you didn’t mean it. Yet, you’re mad at me for not saying it?”

Him saying it out loud makes you cringe in embarrassment. As if he hasn’t done enough, you sense mockery in his tone. When you meet his eye again, the anger is still there, but it’s mostly frustration you notice.

“I’m not mad that you didn’t say it,” you deny.

“Yes you are!” He lets out a humorless laugh. Yeah, he’s definitely frustrated. “Is that what all this is about? Why you left this morning? Look, I’m sorry! It wasn’t because I didn’t feel the same, I was just…preoccupied.”

“Preoccupied with what?” You ask in disbelief.

He gives you a steady look, eyebrows raised in a way to say, ‘you know what’. It takes a minute for you to decipher what he’s alluding to, but then you remember what happened right after your little confession and groan his name, appalled.

“See?” He’s grinning like a madman now, pulling at your arms in an attempt to catch your attention. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear. And once I did, I couldn’t control myself anymore. You telling me you love me made me cum.”

“Be serious right now,” you say, frowning in disgust.

“Oh, I’m very serious right now,” he says, that gleefully large grin still on his face.

You throw him a skeptical look. “You’re smiling and talking about cum. You think this is a joke.”

That makes his smile slowly disappear. He says your name. “I don’t think this is funny. I’m telling you the truth. You want me to prove it to you? Hm? I’ll say it right now. I lo–”

“I don’t want to hear it now!” You interrupt in a shout. “If you had said it then, things might’ve been different, but you didn’t. I don’t care why you didn’t either. That was all the confirmation I needed. We have no idea what we want from this.”

“Here we go again,” he groans, walking a bit away from you.

You jut your jaw at that. “I’m going to repeat myself until you get it through that thick skull. Whatever happened, happened. It’s done. We’re done.”

Chanyeol’s frustration is back with a vengeance. His fingers run through his dark hair, yanking at the strands as he starts pacing in front of you. “How can you say that when you had your tongue down my throat minutes ago? You let me cum inside you! You told me you loved me! And that’s it? There’s mixed signals and then there’s whatever the fuck you’re doing right now.”

“There you go talking about cum again,” you mutter to yourself. Louder, “I’m being realistic! It’s only been three days. Three! And, what? We’re just supposed to pick up right where we left off? Act like the past few years never happened? That’s not how this works, and I doubt that’s healthy. We need more time.”

“I already told you that I’ll always love you, and I meant that. I know you’re scared, Mel. Hell, I’m scared too. You’re right, things are moving fast, but that’s because we still care for each other. I know you still love me. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t. This wouldn’t be us pretending we never broke up. This can be us realizing that we’re better together. That we’re even stronger now that we’ve had time to figure out who we are apart. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“It was,” you’re quick to emphasize the past tense. “But I’ve changed a lot since the last time you saw me, Yeol, so stop acting like you know me.”

Something you say catches his attention, and he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “You haven’t changed much.” He says your name. “I still know you, probably better than anybody else here. Just like you still know me.”

He’s stilled from pacing, and it’s a bit ominous after watching him frantically walk for the past couple minutes. He runs a hand over his face tiredly and lets out a heavy sigh. “So, that’s really what this is about.”

You raise an eyebrow questioningly and he laughs, shaking his head.

“I was hoping it wasn’t, but what you just said…. It all makes sense now.” He’s muttering under his breath, talking to himself.

“What are you going on about?” You ask.

“This morning, when I woke up and you weren’t there, I knew. I didn’t want to believe it, that you would do something like that, but I knew what happened the moment I realized you had left me.”

Your body begins to shake, and it isn’t from the cold. Foreboding chills your spine, causing goosebumps to rise, sharpening once he locks eyes with you, the accusations hard to miss.

“You still hate me.”

His hands curl into tight fists at his sides, trembling–as are his shoulders, his voice. He closes his eyes, taking deep calming breaths you doubt help him much.

“And now you’re telling me you didn’t mean it when you said you loved me. That you changed since the ‘last time I saw you’. Was that your plan all along? To seduce me? Make me think you still gave a shit so that I’d let you fuck me and then leave? Was last night revenge sex?”

“No,” you gasp, genuinely shocked by his conclusion. “I already told you, it was a lapse of judgment–”

“I’m not playing this fucking game with you!” He shouts. His voice breaks, just like his heart currently does. “You don’t get to hurt me again. You can’t play with my feelings everytime I allow myself to be open with you. Maybe you’re right, Mel. Maybe I don’t know you anymore, because I never thought you could do something this fucking cruel.”

“Me? Cruel?” Your anger flares up. “What the fuck about you? You come here, bring some other girl you care nothing for, and then pretend like we never knew each other! Then proceeded to ignore her the whole time to flirt with me any chance you got!”

“We’re not talking about this trip!” Chanyeol dismisses. “I should have never brought her, I know that now, but that’s not what this is about. This is about the time before that, when you gave me back the engagement ring!”

Sehun mentioned the night before the wedding that you have a baseless grudge against Chanyeol, one that twisted the love you have for him, crossing that thin line over to hate. He was positive you made something up, a ‘lie’ he called it, to keep Chanyeol at arm’s length from your heart in order to protect it. The truth is that Sehun grew cocky. He believed so deeply that you couldn’t keep anything from him, that it was impossible to with the way he can so easily read you, that he never suspected when you did. It was only one thing. One thing you decided to keep to yourself, refusing to confide in even Sehun. The reason? To protect the man in front of you, the same way he protected you.

The last thing you want is to bring it up, but technically, Chanyeol is doing it first.

“Gave it back?” You’re in total disbelief. “You took it back the morning after you slept with me and then completely ghosted like I was some one night stand!”

“That’s what you wanted!”

“When?” You ask, baffled. “When I invited you over? Or was it in the middle of us having sex?”

He runs a hand roughly through his hair. “Okay, but why did you invite me over?”

“Because I–”

He doesn’t let you finish, his own anger from that day getting the best of him. “Because you wanted to give me the ring back!”

His voice has risen, and it silences you completely.

“Fuck!” He’s saying your name again, but there isn’t an ounce of affection. “You wanted to return the ring. It was the one thing–the only thing that gave me hope. I told you to keep it, because I knew as long as you still had it, there was still a future for us. But then you called me. It hadn’t even been a year since our separation–because that’s what we were, separated not broken up–and the first time I hear from you it’s to tell me you want to give me back your fucking ring!”

Your head is spinning, attempting to comprehend everything he just admitted, filling in blanks you have been trying to figure out for years now. You hate to admit it, but some things are starting to make sense.

“So, which was it then?” You question rather calmly. “You were still hurt from when I broke things off, so when I reached out you saw your chance to return the favor? Or was it because you thought that’s why I asked you to come over, so you got upset, slept with me, and left as a big fuck you?”

“Neither,” he reveals, evident disgust from your thought process. “Sleeping with you that night just happened. I didn’t do it with the intention to hurt you.”

“Sounds familiar,” you point out. He pinches the bridge of his nose. It feels like you’re going nowhere. Like you’re speaking in circles. “But okay, fine, say I believe that you didn’t do it to hurt me. Why did you leave?”

“Because I didn’t want what happened that night to become our normal,” he admits. “You knew how I felt about you, and I didn’t want you to take advantage of that–of me. Come on, Mel, you’ve always known the power you have over me. If you had told me that night that all you wanted from me was sex, I’d given that to you. Hell, if you told me right now that’s all you want, I’d give it to you. I’d give you anything. You’re my Melody.” He takes a deep shaky breath. “But I knew that if I reduced myself to that just to keep you, it would destroy me. I didn’t want to lose myself like that. And I don’t ever want to hate you. That’s why I ultimately left. Took the ring–like you told me to–and ran before you could change my mind. That was me setting a boundary for myself. I had to let you go before I allowed you to use and break me.”

Your heart sinks at his explanation. “Do you really think I’d treat you like that?”

“Do you really think I’d make love to you and not mean it?” He counters.

Again, you’re back at square one. Blinking at one another, trying to figure out where you stand in each other’s hearts. With the newfound knowledge of Chanyeol’s thoughts on that infamous day, you look internally. To be honest, his words don’t sway you much. The hurt from that day is still painful. You vividly remember the way your heart shattered when he was nowhere to be found. To add salt to the wound, he had blocked you on everything, so that you had no way to contact him afterwards. Yes, you really did believe he was capable of doing that.

“No matter what your intention was that day,” you start. “The result is still the same.”

Once Chanyeol hears this, you watch him build up a wall, closing you off from him for the first time. Until right now, you believed he wasn’t capable of doing that to you. That it couldn’t be helped or that he felt comfortable enough to let his guard down in your presence. But watching all the vulnerability, all the honesty, all the affection he had for you vanish before your eyes, you realize you have been giving yourself too much credit.

“I guess that makes us even now, right?” He asks bitterly.

You turn away, partially out of guilt, but also because you can’t stomach the haunted shadow dulling him. He’s right, in a sick way. You both ran away, hurting the other despite the reasoning behind it.

“So, that’s it then?” He asks when you fail to say anything.

“Chanyeol….” You turn back to him and instantly are bombarded with regret. You can so easily fix this. If you really want to, you can tell him that you forgive him for that night, that you truly never meant to hurt him and that the night before meant everything to you. You can walk off this boardwalk hand in hand, laughing with giddiness from falling back in love with your soulmate. Rejoining your friends who would be nothing but ecstatic and supportive of you working through your issues and returning to one another. You can do that. It will only take one simple sentence.

But you don’t forgive him, and you haven’t really resolved anything. Your new relationship would be built on the foundation of ignorance, avoidance, and lust. You didn’t want that, not if it is the cost of having him back at this moment. You both have some healing to do before jumping into this again, and this conversation proved that. You aren’t ready.

“I–yeah. I think it would be for the best if we end things here.”

“Yeah,” he agrees in defeat. He sniffs and scratches the back of his head. “You’re probably right. There’s not much else I can say to make you stay.”

He takes you in one more time. In his reluctance, it’s as if he’s giving you a chance to change your answer, but you both know you won’t. Guess he does still know you well. He clears his throat and without saying goodbye, walks away.

He’s about to clear the walk when you’re yelling at him to wait.

He does. He faces you and watches with wide eyes as you run hastily over to him. You stop at a safe distance, close enough to see him under the dim moonlight, but far enough away that you can’t feel the distracting heat of his body.

He observes you warily, probably wondering how you’re going to break his heart this time. It’s that bit of doubt that made you run. There’s one last thing he needs to know, the one thing he needs to take away from this conversation, if nothing else.

“I don’t hate you.”

It’s the last thing he expected, and his reaction reflects that. His eyes grow glossy and he does his best to blink the unshed tears back, while also fighting the frown weighing the corners of his lips, causing them to tremble. Wordlessly, he reaches out to you, cupping the back of your head, and you let him. You allow him to touch you, to bring you close to him, relishing in his heat against the chilling bite of the ocean’s breeze. He pulls you in and presses a tender lingering kiss onto your forehead.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your skin.

And then he’s gone, taking all the warmth with him.

And you watch, as his fire dims and he blends with the gray of your surroundings before disappearing out of sight.

You pray to god that’s not a metaphor.

series m.list | main m.list

previous chapter | next chapter

taglist @byunparklimchoi, @defloey @notyuji @hisungovenaocare @theawesomehero7714

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leo-artsssss · 9 months

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tmnt fandom ick:

the fact that so many people just collide the personalities of Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi. despite being polar opposites, people still constantly give Yuichi the personality that Miya has and then denies liking MiyaLeo.

Like why… what is the point in using Yuichi just to make him exactly like Miya just with stupid ass bangs…

like I’m convinced none of you have watched the Usagi Chronicles show

In Usagi Chronicles, Yuichi doesn’t act anything like let’s say 03 Usagi. Yes you can tell he has the heart, but He’s not even close to being as serious as Miya was. I see this mishcharacterization mainly with SOME Rise fans as they usually have their head so far up their ass that they don’t bother watching anything but Rise and just assume things about characters. (Ok maybe that was a little mean but that’s genuinely how it feels sometimes 😭)

I especially see this with future Leoichi aus where Yuichi is basically Miya but with bangs. LIKE JUST USE MIYA AT THAT POINT WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THAT

I don’t like Leoichi, I could even say it’s one of my Notps. But something that pisses me off SO much is when I look at some Fanart of what seems to be Leo and Miya, but then the tags say “Yuichi” (especially if they tag Leosagi or Katanashipping aswell)

and if you do this and see this post, look, im not trying to be mean or anything. At the end of the day you can do whatever you want. I’m just saying that in general, I find these things very irritating and I want to see better characterization for Yuichi. If you’re making him act exactly like how Miya acts, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and think REALLY HARD about if you’re really shipping Leo and Yuichi or if you’re just shipping Leosagi with extra unnecessary steps.

I think a lot of this comes from the fact that most of the TMNT fandom (again, specifically rise…) just don’t care about the character and just want an excuse to ship someone with Leo. I love Leosagi but I love both characters in the relationship and have studied both of their stories and personalities, I don’t just throw one with the other without knowing anything about them.

#tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #leosagi #leoichi #again im not here to hate on all leoichi fans #it may not be my cup of tea but at the end of the day idc if you ship it #I just hate the misinformation that has been spreading around for such a long time now #Miyamoto usagi #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #yuichi usagi #the Usagi chronicles #samurai rabbit #may delete this if it leaves my target audience

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merry-harlowe · 2 months

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Nah okay I’ve been playing bg3 and it’s good, but I’ve kinda been like. :/ because a lot of the games feels unfinished to me, but seeing posts about wyll and Karlach (my two main characters I have in my party aside from Shadowheart, who i thought her story was just progressing really fast?) and realizing that oh, this isn’t a broader pacing speed in the game or a broader level of the game not being finished, it’s a wyll (and somewhat karlach) thing. Ah. Like Mercury kissed Wyll at the tiefling party, but Wyll hasn’t had any new dialogue options since, and I’m halfway through the underdark??? Also I completely missed his side quest with his father, companion quests should not be that easily missed!!

I was rlly surprised with how fast the dialogue trees are exhausted in this game in general tbh, it’s quite limited so far compared to its peers in the genre. Also this is a personal gripe but i hate that they don’t have clearly labeled when a dialogue has a “flirt” tag, i got to the tiefling party scene and literally everyone propositioned my character, despite the fact i was only flirting with astarion and wyll. Adding a little heart at the end of flirtatious dialogue options doesn’t break immersion it literally just clarifies the tone the line is written in 😭

Also the character creator got so much hype, but legit it was the most disappointing customization I’ve seen in a hot sec. Like dai (a game from a decade ago) and Elden ring (a game where you don’t even see ur characters face nearly ever) both had far more advanced customization, and like. Even that wasn’t enough when it comes to representation. Also like dhgjkg for a game that advertised its ~risqué~ content, a) it’s quite tame, and b) you can’t even pick your chest size? 🤨 (which again, is not even getting into the extreme limitations w different body sizes and shapes)

Like it’s a fun game and I’m enjoying myself, but like. For a game that swept at the award season and costed me eighty bucks, I kinda feel like the game should feel finished, let alone have some level of polish. (Also also im glad it’s getting the content updates it clearly needs, but it’s insane that it won GAME OF THE YEAR! and is still getting base game content updates???!??? I really hate the trend it’s emblematic of in the industry tbhhh)

#bg3 critical #rbs are off because these r just my unedited thoughts and other people have put it better than me #tldr: game good but feels unfinished and lacking in comparison to its peers #this isnt an attack on the game im just kinda disappointed #i play viddy games for the characters and these characters are very cool but also kinda 2d #theo rambles

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m1d-45 · 1 year

Note

-Pari Anon

Okay, but, Pari!Creator being afraid of literally everyone but Xiao.

Zhongli once visited Xiao and Pari!Creator hid from both of them, worrying poor Xiao. He only finds them after Zhongli leaves.

Verr and Yanxiao only win the Pari!Creator over with good and patience, so they are the only ones that can vouch for Xiao when Zhongli looks confused.

Ganyu, as soft-spoken as she is, is still intimidating to Pari!Creator.

Venti would scare the poor thing away, scaring Xiao because he can’t find his little friend.

god that’s so…. waug

i’m just gonna swing for a moment that this is creator!pari!reader—if you specified in the past i forgot sorry—because i have this idea:

you being afraid of others (specifically of vision wielders, but people in general are strange) because you don’t want them to find out you’re an outlander or bring you to the one on the throne. in sumeru, candace had temporarily harbored you, but after mention of a bringing you to a god that you didn’t remember, you left east, for more familiar lands. the aranara also mentioned bringing you to irmunsul and collei wanted to take you to tighnari, so you flew your way over to liyue and decided to stay alone until you figured out why exactly you: 1) showed up to teyvat 2) did so in a form you didn’t even recognize??

xiao feels a strange pull and assumes it’s a monster, teleporting to where you are, but as you squeak and flap to hide behind a tree.. you’re not an enemy, are you?

he manages to coax you out, the both of you just kinda assessing each other. well, he’s looking over you, you’re trying to figure out how fast you can fly.

“you’re supposed to be in sumeru,” he decides, and you flap back because no the fungi are scary and the trees are so big and the desert’s hot and you don’t know this ‘divine one’ people keep talking about but you swear if it’s the red king—

xiao panics, unsure why he feels so bad at making you afraid. “y-you don’t have to go! if you don’t want to. i.. can find you somewhere to stay.”

ever since, most everyone you’ve run into has mentioned either this ‘divine creator’ or has thought you’re a threat (since things radiating ‘im not dangerous!’ auras are usually dangerous-), so you make the executive choice to stick by xiao and stay far, far away from everybody else.

you’re not sure why he doesn’t feel the same aura the others gawk about—to him it just registers as familiarity, because that’s what safety is to him—but he’s safe, you can trust him, and you’re not going to be stolen or grabbed or hurt if you just stick with him.

…but at night, when you wake up—evidently your new form needs less sleep—and wander onto the balcony to look at the stars, you hear verr talking to someone.

“-yaksha’s?”

“no, he doesn’t seem the type…”

xiao? why are they talking about him?

you look down, only to find them looking up at you. with a startled chirp, you fall backward off the railing, catching yourself mid-air to hide behind a potted plant.

the next day, she calls xiao about it before the two of you leave, gesturing to the balcony above where you’re waiting for him.

“do you have a bird?”

he looks up. “…no. i don’t keep pets.”

“oh… then.. why is it..?”

he shrugs. she drops it, but leaves you a small bowl of berries when she tidies up the upper balcony, politely pretending not to see you hiding behind the pot again.

yanxiao is a similar story, except when he goes to deliver xiao his tofu, you’re able to be seen just over his shoulder, batting at a small stone on his desk.

xiao takes the plate with a short “thanks” and closes the door before he can ask.

the both of them take forever to actually see you up close, only ever interacting with xiao as a proxy. it’s slow, with you always making sure they’re not planning on taking you anywhere and xiao picking up on the fact you don’t like people, and it takes a couple of months for verr to be able to carefully hold out her hand and pet over your wing.

but they don’t have visions, nor combat experience, nor do they seem to register the “aura” either (it’s because you approach slow, and they assume its either care or curiosity), and you know from lore that they’re good people.

anybody else? not a chance.

you’re in xiao’s room when there’s a knock on the door. the second xiao answers and you hear that it’s zhongli at the door, you dive under his bed, hiding against the wall.

“ganyu’s been telling me you’ve been keeping a.. pet?”

“not really, but they’re—“ xiao turns to where you just were, to the small stone you’d been hitting back in forth, now on the desk abandoned. he tries not to panic, he does, he knows you’re just shy, but he wraps up whatever zhongli wants to talk about quickly, all but slamming the door.

“friend?” he calls, moving around his room and checking wherever he can think. “he’s gone, please… please come back.”

you wriggle out from under the bed with a squeak and he picks you up quickly, relieved. he doesn’t like when you vanish like that, even if it’s temporary.

#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#pari anon #thinkin about bird xiao and pari reader cuddlin ngl #i know you spoke about that before #but i’m talking about it again

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kneelingshadowsalome · 10 months

Note

okay, so i’ve just finished your Just Friends fic, and now i’ve just been analyzing every aspect of this story because it’s that fucking good. and so personally, after all the psychoanalysis and interpretative symbolize i feel were very subtly connected with each other, i think that könig and engel… AND BARE WITH ME… are perfect for each other, i would even go as far as to say that they were probably meant for each other, and i mean, like, probably soulmates.

and before i get into this, i just want to say, as a disclaimer, i’m not romanticizing anything of this and i don’t condone any of this. this my own analysis on i what interpreted in your fic and why i feel this way.

anyway, their relationship is a great example of a twisted, dark, semi-toxic relationship, and i say semi-toxic because although these two are absolutely insane separately, könig’s sociopathic and personality tendencies and engels morbid curiosity and possible anti social tendencies of her own, together they compliment each other to the T. it’s no wonder why engel keeps going back to him, it’s not a matter of her not knowing any better or being naive, in fact it’s the complete opposite, she knows what she’s getting into, she loves it and she thrives off of it. engel revels in the forbidden realm of her fantasies that she tends to escape from, and now with könig, who so openly offers it to her, she is clearly driven by desire and lust of her own and will engage with it as much as possible so instinctively. at this point, she’s aware of everything könig can do for her, to her, and more, and i feel, after our conclusion of what we know, engel will definitely use that to her advantage, not necessarily to use him but to explore for herself and what he can continue for her. sure, it‘a possibly, definitely self-indulgent, and probably selfish of her, but she’s happy, and when she’s happy könig’s happy, and as long as she doesn’t cross a line that i’m pretty she’s knows könig have repeatedly emphasized, they will continue there escapades happily. and i would continue on to explain my own little theories about könig’s psyche and his future with her but this is getting too long.

i truly think that what they feel for each other is genuine, it may not be love, it may be obsession, but whatever it is, it’s there and they both aware of it. no matter how toxic it may be to the normal eye, no one can’t deny that when they’re together they’ve truly become one. i’m sure after everything they been through, they will be inseparable, they will become each other in their own right. i think they depend on each other more than ever, and in a way, that is poetically beautiful in the most fucked up of ways. i love it, i love you, i love what you created. thank you for reading my essay~

i would love to offer up some headcanons of my own in the future, but im not sure. o.o

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'm fine! Everything's fine ❤️

First of all. I had to take the longest moment to cry sit and stare at a wall after reading your message. I will try and not make a fool of myself when I answer this, but... (I know I'm about to sound as crazy as König & Engel)

You don't even know how much this means to me 💕 because this is IT. This is exactly what this story is about. Your analysis is better, more profound and more nuanced than anything I could ever have written myself. *cries*

Reader explores her suppressed fantasies, the dark side of her soul through and with König, yes.

Just like we do here on tumblr when we're indulging ourselves in these silly little imagines...? I'm sorry if this makes people uncomfortable but that's just how I see it and as I've said before it's only healthy to have an outlet (and not forget humor while we're at it 🤍)

And so does König explore his light, angelic side with Engel! She represents everything he has cast outside of himself and wants to reclaim: innocence, kindness, softness, vulnerability, life, normality, even safety.

Sure, he also projects his mother wound (or whatever you wish to call it) onto her and seeks in her the nurturer he never had, the comfort and appreciation he never had. Engel on the other hand seeks a powerful protector and wants to let go of the stifling need to be sane and kind and conventional. She has agency: in the end, everything in this story happens as a result of her actions and decisions.

It's not healthy, it's not safe or sane, but it's genuine and it's a true attempt to live more honestly. They're both crazy, but I still believe that under the obsession and madness blooms a strange but strong love. They belong together!

And this is also the reason why she is special and König absolutely adores her – I haven't been succesful, perhaps, in trying to convince people of it because toxic König sorta has a life of its own nowadays but your analysis proved it all so beautifully that I can only say THANK YOU and also would you marry me please you're awesome I love you 🩷💖💋

And I'd LOVE to hear more of your headcanons! Feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime or if you feel comfortable enough I wish to remind (everyone) that my dms are always open too 💕

Thank you anon for your essay, it was the most delightful read and I think I'm going to go and cry a bit more now...!

#answered #yandere könig #just friends fic #i'm emotional #I loved this essay #this is like a writers wet dream #someone analyzing my fic like this i'm not okay #i'm coming apart at the seams in the most lovely way #good day bye bye #*flops*

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7habitsofhighlyeviceratedpeople · 1 year

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SERIOUS EDIT: idk what i was on when i posted this and i seriously regret it i don’t even have an explanation (or at least one that doesn’t sound like en excuse) but just disregard it i’d delete it but it’s been reblogged and i rlly wish i never said this bc it’s nothing like what i think i wanted to say.

I don’t condone certain aspects of the Outlast lore edit: please read my reblog regarding what i say about Outlast 2 it’s not relevant to my point, plus this is just a rant about something stupid and specific plus i have no idea what i’m talking about regarding Outlast 2 for the most part plus i’m being hypocritical (namely the jessica thing i think it could have been done better and CSA didn’t rlly have to be a part of it to show religious trauma but i get it when you look at the big picture of Outlast and Outlast 2, it just could have been infinitely less graphic and still held the same weight) but literally it’s going too far saying shit like FOR EXAMPLE “making Richard Trager a rapist was unnecessary” Id argue it’s one of the only characters that like actually makes sense from a lore perspective and if you rlly get the character you’d understand why it makes sense. Idk how to say this without sounding like it’s a feature i enjoy about the character, I obviously don’t but like i cannot stand seeing my favorite characters misinterpreted and along with Eddie, Trager is one of the most misinterpreted characters in Outlast. He literally has 0 reedemable qualities, he’s an outright rich prick who never had to face any consequences his entire life, he’s been privileged since the day he was born, and anyone who tries to act like he has a good bone in his body is so wrong. I hate to say it (no i don’t lol) but he’s just plain evil and i love him for it. He’s not real, his actions have never hurt a real person please keep that in mind. The main story wouldn’t have happened the way it did if he never did what he did, they’d have to come up with a whole other backstory for him AND a reason women were removed. It’s a horror game with dark, explicit subjects due to the fact that they’re exploring such a unique subject, with characters who are mentally ill, affected by the engine, both or just plain terrible people and it obviously would have things that may trigger or make people uncomfortable, and that has to be up to you to decide to not think about it or indulge into content that might do those things. Do not bring cancel culture into fucking Outlast, do not try to babyproof it. Go watch other forms of media with lighter subjects and characters instead of acting like it’s the developers fault for creating characters and plotlines with the whole point to scare people, shock them, make them uncomfortable, etc or remaking the characters into something they’re not bc it doesn’t fit your idea of them. Rant over if I see one more person misinterpret Richard Trager i will start taking peoples eyes. (also more rants abt Rick’s character coming be prepped)

edit 2; this is being wildly misinterpreted as a discussion post or place to argue or share opinions and im not saying you can’t bc it’s a public post but the point was simply to share smthn i wanted to rant abt (for a reason btw) and i worded it pretty bad bc the point i was trying to make can be summed up way better by other people who agree with me in the reblogs and wish i didn’t post it. would appreciate no more reblogs and for those who reblogged before i turned them off pls also turn off reblogs if you see this por favor <3

#team rick #the murkoff account

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naveries · 7 months

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august? — Shut up! SHUT UP!

PAIRING: non-idol!beomgyu × fem!reader, implied crushes + possible other pairings

STATUS. ongoing!

SYNOPSIS. YL/N Y/N, the delivery girl to her small town not too far from the City finds herself around town, taking many odd jobs and contributing to her community in more ways than one. But now she finds it hard to say no these approaching her final days of High School. On top of that, her true love & passion for music catches up with her as too as her band, finding herself taking on the role of lead singer once again. Can she handle it?

WARNINGS. swearing but not too heavy, kys joke, mentions of abusive parental guardians, mentions of depression, anxiety (might go into detail) & unaliving. possible sensual comments here and there, im not one to write those things but who knows, there will be a warning if so. y/n is a mess mentally and only at a certain point in the story, physically, financially, academically & socially. characters can be immature at times but who isn’t! possible mentions injuries & scars. a whole lot of sad and mad and happy.

FEATURES. TXT; BEOMGYU, HUENINGKAI, YEONJUN/STRAYKIDS; HYUNJIN, IN/ LESSERAFIM; CHAEWON, POSSIBLY KAZUHA/ ITZY; CHAERYOUNG & RYUJIN/ ATEEZ; YEOSANG/ ENHYPEN; SUNGHOON, JUNGWON/ AESPA; NINGNING, KARINA/ TWICE; SANA, TZUYU, MINA/ SEVENTEEN; JEONGHAN, WONWOO, JOSHUA

No one could get a reach of you and they had pretty good idea why. What had happened at your apartment — let alone your parents no where to be found — was too much for you to even leave bed. Too confusing.

But once you did finally find enough will in yourself to leave the room your grandfather had set up for you, you had no idea the havoc awaiting the moment you stepped back into school.

At first you were relieved to had finally gotten over your nerves although you still wished you didn’t have to be here. You didn’t wanna talk to anyone, you couldn’t find it in yourself to muster up that kind of energy to begin conversing about how your life is basically a catastrophic mess. You wouldn’t even know where to start.

And for some reason, even the fact that you have now been adopted by your grandfather, lost your parents and your home doesn’t seem as much as a unfortunate adjustment for the other students as they seem to enjoy using you as a subject of gossip and tall-tales.

The first pieces of gossip were that your parents started the fire and are in hiding to avoid the consequences. And well… so does the police and everyone else who was there that night as the only person they found in the building was you.

You weren’t talking to anyone about this, about how you were feeling in the midst of all this. You felt too ashamed to. You felt too disgusting to try. Hyunjin and Wonyoung were trying to get you to talk but the most they could do is walk up to you in the hallways before you start sprinting away.

Yeji and Chaeryoung also trying to get a hold of you through text messages and dropping letters every few days in your locker just so they can get the message out to you that they were worried. That wasn’t surprising to you though as you had gotten close in band. In which you already handed a form stating that you want to be pulled out of the club. What was surprising was that Choi Beomgyu was also trying to reach out to you.

Sending in a letter alongside Chaeryoung and Yeji or how you notice he would linger around your classroom more often than usual. He even sent a few text checking up on how you were. Your ears would for some reason pick up on his if he was in fact outside your classroom or if maybe you two happened to be passing by each other in the hallways. Your eyes would uncomfortably lock together as you couldn’t seem to fight the urge not to look for his anyway.

Of course, you would be the first to cut both the tension and eye-contact, and avert your attention else where.

But not even a week later, you weren’t sure when or how it started when a couple of girls — along with a few boys — began following you between and after classes and around the school, bugging you. Pulling pranks and basically bullying you. Why? You had no idea, but it was happening anyway. You recognized them as some of the girls who would whisper and snicker any time you would pass by them in hallways or if they were smoking in the corner of the bathroom. Burning holes into your back as they stared you down for simply using the bathroom at the same time you were.

The bullying arose around the time even worse gossip had been going around, all about you, ones that spouted far from the truth. Ones that you started the fire to get rid of your parents, another saying you were doing all this for the attention, or that you’ve gone insane. And, eh? well…

As mean as the pranks were; being pushed down the last flight of stairs, sticking notes on your bag and locker, filling up your desk with garbage. You didn’t bother confronting them, you wouldn’t even know what to say if you did anyway. You didn't consider these pranks outrageous either since they were pretty common pranks people would pull in movies or in those dramas you would watch with Wonyoung and Hyunjin (if you're ever over at their houses). A simple “Stop harassing me”? As if that would be enough to scare them off.

You thought it would've dive down in a week or two, or so you thought it would anyway.

It had been 3 weeks since you moved in with your grandpa and all your stuff that still had been in tact had been moved from your old apartment to your grandfather's home. You had somewhat made up with Wonyoung and Hyunjin (somewhat being when they came up to you in the halls after school asking if you were okay you, your current state couldn't have been more obvious with a "I'm fine" and an awkward bow goodbye. Obviously, you weren't fine.)

It was while you were using the bathroom to get away from all the eyes and whispers on you from the classrooms and hallways, made you realized how badly you were now percieved by everyone at school because of how horrible or how pitiful people painted you out to be. It was because you thought ignoring all of these would've helped you as you weren't adding fuel to the fires, but that might've made things worst from your lack of reaction to the point where you were bascially shoved or snickered at, anytime people had a chance.

Even the people who were concerned about you were tied up in the babel of rumours. Hyunjin and Wonyoung, the band (when people wanted to guilt-trip you and point fingers at you for leaving so suddenly + the "Why-join-if-you're-not-going-to-apply-yourself crap), and/or anyone who had shown the slightest form of concern for you.

And to your surprise, someone you didn't expect or realize to also be counted in the list of people concerned seemed to have included Choi Beomgyu. Well no, you did know he was trying to reach out but you originally thought it was because of his parents, an out of courtesy sort of thing. But according to the whispers, although he would hide it, people had caught onto him flinching or getting unusually stiff whenever your name would be brought up anywhere around him. He had apparently defended you against the rumours and not only had been asking Chaer and Yeji, but Hyunjin about you as well.

But him being Choi Beomgyu means that; because you were a girl he was showing some form of care for, gives more a reason for people to dislike you and gossip more. And unfortunately, that also means it's very unlikely this would pass without some form of action from those he is adored by. Half the population of girls at your school.

You felt some girls staring at you as you ran into one of the stalls in the girl's bathroom but you were too overwhelmed to give them a second thought. The real weight of the rumours about you made you feel to disgusted of yourself to even be seen by someone, anyone. Even yourself. Clutching your hands in your hair, the pain didn't phase you, you just wished it would be enough for this lump of shame on your chest to wash away. It was too much for you to chew.

Eventually though, you still being in school meant that you also couldn't stay there forever knowing you had to get back into your class. But walking out of the stall you didn't expect the calamity of girls huddling around the walls. Panic started to spill into your bloodline as you recognized the girls who were guarding the door. You didn't realize the face you were making until a few of them in the corner began snickering about the terrified look on your face. That leading to the eruption of laughter in the bathroom. The kind of laughter that you hear in Horror movies.

You do like horror movies, but you can say now that you finally understand what Hyunjin was talking about when he said it was discomforting to an eye-gouging level. "I can't believe she would do that to her own parents" one of the girls you recognized as Hana speak up. The way she carried herself was uncomfortably wrong to you, it was like she took pride in making others feel down of themselves. You found yourself slightly leaning back out of reflex.

"It's as if she has no conscience, imagine carrying around the guilt the way she does. Unbelievable" another girl who was standing unsettlingly close to you was now making her way over to you in a strut. "She even has Choi Beomgyu's attention, how the fuck was she able to do that." Hana scoffed, as she also made a beeline over to you along with this other girl.

The two of them began touching your hair, your shoulders, dragging their fingers over your arms. You inhaled sharply as you flinched slightly earning a chuckle from the two girls. You looked around for some sort of help, but the rest of the girls who were standing there just watched with amusement on their faces.

Your hair was being pushed back from behind your ear, Stupid Slut Hana had leaned into your ear to whisper to you. As the other girl had a portion of your hair in a fist, pulled on it painfully as your body slammed hard to the bathroom wall. In the timespan of a couple of weeks, this was the second time your arm in this sort of pain after being slammed against a wall. Right about now, the pain made you wish that there wouldn't be a third time.

You had made an effort to crawl away, but — as if they couldn't get any crueler — two girls pulled you up to your feet and locked your arms in theirs as they held you in place.

Your eyes frantically searched for someone as your heart was racing in panic, the adrenaline however in your body wasn't enough for you to break out from the hold the two girls held you in. The next thing you knew was the dim light in the bathroom was reflecting off a pair of scissors Hana was toying with in her hands as she approached you.

"NO! STOP!" You cried out as you gave every ounce of strength in your body, aggressively yanking your arms, tears beginning to fill the brim of your eyes, to break free from their hold. "STOP PLEASE!" You yelled out as Hana glanced around in a panic and then hurriedly made her way over to you.

"Shut up, SHUT UP!" She hissed, her voice barely more than a breath, yet a sharp razor, cutting through the bathroom's echo. It was obvious that she was nervous that people from outside might hear and you would've yelled some more if she didn't have those shiny scissors in her hands. She grabs your face with one hand, her nails dug into the soft flesh of your skin, her fingers like vices closing around your cheeks. "Ya' Better be fucking quiet before I get pissed."

It was a hostile whisper that left no room for negotiation, it wasn't just her voice, but her expression that screamed in a desperate plea. All you can do is stare at her in both fear and anger screaming in your eyes. She smirks as she lets go of your face with a bit of force, throwing your head to the side.

Your chest heaves up and down as tears begin streaming down your face. You can't do anything but stand there. Another part of you cursed yourself for missing a few meals in the past week. Maybe if you hadn't, you would maybe have a bit more strength to shake these girls off of you. But you couldn't.

There was part of you that thought that you did in fact deserve this. But there was also another, a voice who was mad at these girls for choosing to do this when they had never even had a conversation with them. Why were they so cruel? And so spiteful towards you? that because of silly rumours they decided this was the best course of action. Part of you also felt bad for questioning whether or not you had any right to feel angry right now.

This part of you blamed yourself, for everything. Right now you wished you had done better. For your friends, your parents, your grandfather, your bandmates, maybe things would be different if you had the courage to fix things between you and everyone and not have stayed quiet after the fire.

You were more angry at yourself than at these girls right now.

You thought that it was best to let things calm down without saying anything and look where that got you, all you could think of was what you could've done that could've prevented yourself from being held up in the bathroom with 6-7 girls about to hurt you. Why couldn't you have done better, why did they think - even with all the rumours floating around school - you deserved to suffer more. What had you done now, something so terribly wrong that it led you to this position now.

Taking in these emotions all at once, your body took over your senses for a moment. You couldn't hold back from exhaling in devastation as tears streamed down your face. You look up to Hana was still standing in front of you in a delighted manner. Her eyes grow wide from your obvious sudden change in demeanour. Her grin took a sinister edge as it grew, there was no shame in her eyes.

"I'm not a monster, Y/N" She says with a chuckle. Taking a good portion of your hair as she holds the scissors. Your lips want to move, to fight some more, but you can't bring yourself to.

You watched Hana as she crept up to you slowly and circled around you, a shameless grin on her face. “But you started this honey” she said, her shaky breath fanning against your ear sending a shiver to trickle through your skin.

“I don’t know how you did, but let’s hope this gets the message to him” Hana hissed, her eyes boring into yours with obvious repressed rage and jealousy as your eyes glistened with tears, your brows furrowed.

You watched her from the corner of your eyes as she took a good small portion of your hair into her fist and lifted the scissors up to it, as a sharp snipping slice echoed through the bathroom.

You swallowed back a sob as you shut your eyelids tight, allowing more hot tears to stream down your face. You felt the hold of the two girls begin to tremble, but only to tighten their grip on your arms.

It was when Hana was about to cut another portion of your when Chaeryoung, Wonyoung, and Yeji came storming through the doors. Their faces painted with obvious worry and anger.

You don’t know if your memory is serving you well enough but you do remember the other girls in the bathroom, whom were Hana’s friends, lunging towards Wonyoung and your two bandmates, only for them to be harshly beaten by the surprising strength and agility of the three of them.

They then took you from the grasp of Hana’s two friends, your hand’s trembling in Yeji’s, as Wonyoung and Chaer led you four out of that forsaken bathroom and outside, into the crowded hallway.

The stares of your schoolmates, the attention, and the curiosity that all circled around you made you feel like you were shrinking. You felt everyone’s eyes on you, as if it was physically painful thing. The hallway was a maze of emotions—concern, gossip, and the remnants of what happened in the bathroom.

You were lead into a classroom where a few familiar faces were left worried sick as the girls went to retrieve you. The moment you stepped in with Yeji’s hands still holding you close, Hyunjin then surges forward as he runs up to you and engulfs you in a relieved embrace, in which you reciprocate. One hand on the back of your head and the other encircling your shoulders, holding you so tight you can physically feel how worried he must’ve been.

You spot Jeongin and Yeosang from the corner of your eye whose worried expressions were washed clean, leaving only relief in their eyes as they watched Hyunjin hold you safe in his arms. As well as a certain guitarist whose eyes you tried to catch, but couldn’t as he couldn’t even look at you for some reason.

That day ending with your grandpa picking you up from school and Wonyoung, Yeji, and Chaeryoung coming over to your grandpa’s house to check up on you, and then grandpa suggesting a sudden sleepover. To which they all unexpectedly agreed heading home to quickly grab their things and come.

A sleepover that consisted of games to distract you, the girls mixing up their sleeping clothes for you to put on and wear for that night, a warm long intimate conversation on what had really happened with you and why you felt the need to distance yourself from everyone, followed by a very sudden haircut as they even out your hair length from the part Hana cut (you thought you looked silly but the girls reassured you on how adorable you truly looked with your hair shorter, one of the many colours you have to offer stated by Wony), and the night ending with the four of you all cuddled up together.

+ a bonus on how before you all left for school the next day, your grandfather showed the girls around his shop and told them they were always welcome to visit.

The next week of school you did not return as your grandfather felt it would be a good change in scenery to move schools. One that conveniently happened to be located 10 minutes away from your grandfather’s shop.

You even made a new friend, a boy younger than you. Kai who you thought was gonna be hard to get to know from how introverted he seemed but slowly warmed up to you and made you realize his true craziness, in which you had no issue matching at all unexpectedly.

And as you adjusted well there, you couldn’t deny how much you missed Wonyoung and Hyunjin around in your classes. But it felt like a silly sentiment as they practically lived with you with how much they stayed over at your grandfather’s shop with you. Wonyoung not all the time as she got busy with her family’s restaurant, but with Hyunjin however, he unexpectedly began learning mechanical skills under your grandfather.

And after a while, you came to terms with your new life. Part of you still carries so much baggage with you, baggage that you know you wont be able to let go of or will let go of you no matter how much you wish it would. But this was still progress, and you had a new circle around you, a new atmosphere. Of course that being said, nothing about this was perfect, you occasionally still had panic attacks when a feeling or vibe remotely similar from your past comes creeping up on you and the endless hours staying cooped up in your sheets because of how overwhelming your mental break downs became. Learning how to come to terms that you were basically abused and brainwashed your whole life by your parents, who weren’t even here anymore. Or that you realize you do in fact need other people to overcome these disgusting feelings and to help you realize that there’s so much more detail than the ugliness of it.

These people being Hyunjin when he would bike at 12AM at night just so he can console you after calling him about a really bad dream you’ve been having, making sure you have a good night sleep without any worries and staying by your bedside till you fell asleep. Sometimes you would wake up with him no longer at your side, only with a note in place of where he was before.

One of them, you remember saying something like;

Hey y/n, I left a few minutes after you fell asleep. Your grandpa seems to like me more now-a days and finally trust me (yay) since he even tried convincing me to take the spare room across from you.

Now I would’ve, but I didn’t bring extra clothes TT (I know, so sad!) but just to let you know, that’s where I went. I’ll be here in the morning to drop you off at school.

P.S. No I don’t care if I’m a little late to school, you’re my priority + Mr. Goh can [BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP].

He’s such an idiot sometimes.

Wonyoung, on the other hand, always gave her time for you when she could, regardless on how busy she became with prior commitments. You worried for her that she might just fall behind if she continues to keep yours and her time together as a high priority of hers. But that question earned you a pillow to the face and a hurt expression on Wonyoung's faces. Saying that you've been seeing Hyunjin more these days since she isn't around as much.

Since then, you realize that she values your time together as much as you do since you're not together as much anymore, or that it might've came off like you didn't want her around, which was the complete opposite of what you meant.

Time with her would be you and her sitting in the Woodwork shop as you both assisted customers who came in and out while you did your homework or other times would be at her family's restaurant. Having invited you and your grandfather over for for a free meal. To which your grandfather still ended up paying for because he wouldn’t allow something so delicious to be eaten for free. His words, not yours.

Your relationship with your grandfather, you realize now, was something you weren't easy with. You found it hard to differentiate a healthy guardian and child that being because you aren’t used to yourself being so open and trusting with your guardian, but you soon realized how terribly wrong your initial idea on how you your life would pan out here on out with your grandfather.

Because unlike your Mom, he always gave an ear and put you first before his pride. And unlike your Dad he was always there for you and gave you space to be alone or vulnerable when you needed it. He was patient, never pushing you beyond what triggers you into a manic mental breakdown in your head and nor did he ever use your weaknesses against you. You soon realized that was all he really wanted to be for you, a kind and fair figure.

He was also really open to having your friends over too.

There were times where Chaeryoung and Yeji even stopped by every blue moon to say Hello and asked how you were doing. Catching up with them was always so interesting as you heard about the new places the band had been performing at and how much better everyone was becoming. Their expertise and professionalism according to Yeosang, to which Yeji relayed a message from.

It was all happening before you realized, and you still had places to go and things to learn, but now you know that there’s a new way to go about life that doesn’t leave you trembling on edge 24/7.

And nothing about the progress of healing was easy for you, it didn’t feel pretty, but everything started to make sense little by little. And you finally decided that you could live with certain imperfect parts about you. You cant change the way the you were hurt or the way you struggle with more things than other “regular” people. But you figured can still move one foot in front of the other now.

Graduating middle school came around so quickly and you had to say goodbye to Kai now as he still had one year left of middle school, to which he cursed the universe for making him a year younger than you when he’s literally a whole head taller than you are. It’s been only about a year and a half since you met him, but he’s become such a staple in your life. It was weird to think you had previously left your friends for the school in which you saw Kai at everyday and now you were leaving Kai for a High School in which Wonyoung, Yeji, and Hyunjin were accepted into as well.

But the graduation meal your grandfather prepared for you. And unexpectedly Hyuka who tagged along home with you, as he didn’t wanna say goodbye just yet even though he had the whole break with you, weirdly enough.

Hyunjin and Wonyoung came over as well as your grandpa invited them over without telling you, leaving you in the position to introduce Hyuka to your two bestfriends. (You’re not really good at)

Hyuka was a bit nervous as he really isn’t good with strangers, but still ended up having a good laugh as they all exchanged embarrassing stories of you and even planning a little get together at the town festival.

It was all new feelings you were experiencing, colourful ones. You never saw yourself being okay with being happy without feeling as if there was something so devastating that was gonna follow, but for some reason that’s how things came to be. Not that you were complaining.

Finally something felt right.

bonus +

It was the summer before your first year of High School and the sun was a little behind on schedule that morning. The sky had this unique radiant glow you don't always get to see everyday. Sort of like those really nice opening movie scenes in K-dramas or American television.

It was a sweet feeling that coursed through your veins as you were biking to deliver the last of the mail.

Tired and slightly thirsty, you hopped of your new yellow moped your grandfather had gifted you to commence your transitioning into becoming a High School girl, something your grandmother would want for you apparently. Not that you were complaining, it’s a pretty sweet ride.

What you didn't notice was the pair of familiar eyes watching you from a few several feet back from you. Not expecting to see you so suddenly out of no where. This was after a long time since he had last seen you, and here you were delivering the mail as it was your weekly routine, a bit sweat glistening over your exposed skin, slightly flushed. And yet, - to him - you still looked so breathtakingly pretty.

Choi Beomgyu.

His hands began sweating as the only thing he was able to move was his eyes. He was shocked beyond belief to run into you as he was biking around Daegu as he always did. An odd jelly sensation was buzzing in his stomach, he wasn't sure if he liked it or was nervous because of it. But what he did know was that he didn't wanna look away just yet.

He knew he wouldn't be able to stumble easily upon an opportunity seeing you like this. He wanted to savour the moment a bit longer.

Finally getting the feeling back in his ears (previously heating up due to his sudden increase in blood flow, + the pounding of his heart becoming louder) it was while he contemplating whether or not he was going to say hi to you until an unknown, but familiar voice — familiar to both you and Beomgyu — called out from behind him.

"There you are!, I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Y/N"

Your hair bounced as you turned your head to face a boy zipping quickly in your direction — past the Beomgyu — on a motorbike. Beomgyu’s eyes travelled along with the boy as his engine raved. Soon recognizing the stature as your best friend. He didn’t know what had happened for the nice sensation in his stomach to suddenly begin to twist.

Beomgyu watched as he stopped in front of you and how your features lit up in excitement seeing him on the bike.

“My grandpa finally let you take the bike for a ride?”

He lets out an amused laugh, “Yeah he did” he says proudly patting the seat. “And yet tell me why my first ride is solely dependant on getting your helmet to you because someone was impatient this morning.” he said skeptically.

"Maybe I knew you would get it for me and search all around town just to find me!" you said with a proud and shameless grin on your face.

"It wouldn't be much of a search since you take the same route every week genius" he scoffs.

You purse your lips, "Well…"

“Hmm..?” He hums in disbelief.

“Hey no! What- what about you?! It’s not even legal for you yet to be riding that you moron!” you say, trying to turn the situation around on him.

"Well this moron rode through your long and busy delivery route just to find you and in hopes of giving you a ride on this thing. But y’know that’s fine if-"

“Wait wait!” you interrupted, two hands flying up in front of his face.

He sighs and rests a hand on his hip while waiting for your rebuttal.

“What about my moped?” you asked skeptically.

“I can guarantee you no one will steal it, our town is literally too conservative and quiet for that kind of behaviour. And we’ll just go around the block.” Hyunjin says as he holds up his helmet in hands.

“Ah!” You clapped in agreement. “Okay okay! Then come on, come on! Helmet me!" You said as you snatched the helmet out of his hands and onto your head.

"Eeesh- where’s your manners" he said in annoyance as he rolled his eyes. Only to then help you put on the helmet, clicking the strap on securely.

You stick your tongue out to him as he helps you onto the bike and gets on after, an excited smile on his face as he starts the engine and rides away.

And just like that you were gone. Beomgyu watched the whole scene between you Hyunjin and couldn’t help but feel slightly envious.

Even after you left the school, let alone the band, he was the only one you actively avoided even after making up with everyone else. You couldn’t face him for some reason. Because of that, he didn’t know whether or not it was okay to feel upset by the fact that although he didn’t mean for any rumours to start up because him or guilty his actions was what gave your classmates the gasoline to start up more rumours.

He felt more guilty than anything else. And even though he isn’t even to be blamed that happened, it was feelings that was brought out because of the situation that made it hard for the both of you to approach each other. There are a lot of things he wished he could’ve said sooner. Things he was hesitant to say because it wasn’t everyday he felt this way about someone, especially since he didn’t understand why in the first place he felt this way either. He just felt this way.

After it all passed though and his head was able to become more clear, all that remained was the regret of not being able to do more for you while everything was still fresh in everybody’s mind and when the situation was more malleable.

He wished he could’ve just been there for you. He knows should’ve tried harder to be there for you.

He didn’t know whether or not he knew you well enough to call this something more, but one thing he established was that he definitely felt some sort of attraction towards you.

Now, even after you and Hyunjin were long gone, he couldn’t bring his eyes to tear away from the yellow moped you had left parked in front of the Yang’s home. He felt rather silly for not walking up to you and getting his nerves over and done with.

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august? — taglist: @txtaetertots

a/n. im the absolute worst when it comes to posting these because im always overthinking that outcome, but im trying my best to get out everything i have in drafts. i have up to 2 more episodes almost finished so please look out for them!! 🥹

#— august?#beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu #choi beomgyu x reader #choi beomgyu #beomgyu smau #beomgyu x y/n #txt smau #txt x reader

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