#but . i think more people need to draw him experiencing an emotion actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gffa · 8 months

Note

I saw your post defending the way Jedi adopt the children/accept them into their culture, and I absolutely loved it! It was so well-informed, and you are right: It is all there in the original content!

I find it very ironic that many people spew these lies about the Jedi when that’s exactly what the Empire did. Iirc, this argument of Jedi being “kidnappers” was actually fueled by Emperor Palpatine and the Empire in their campaign against the Jedi. They wanted to discredit them and make the people turn against them so that they could erase them all more easily. So I find it very ironic that these lies are now being upheld by some people as the truth. (Really, have people forgotten the Empire was created bases on the Nazi’s and their own racist strategies?)

You are not inmune to the Empire’s propaganda.

Please correct me if I’m wrong. I’m not as good at pulling examples and proof from all the SW content as you are.

Hi! Thank you for the very sweet ask! Navigating stuff in fandom like this can be difficult at times, because there has to be room for compassion and tolerance for disagreement, like it's fine if people disagree with my views, I'm not your mom, I'm not telling you want to do or say, especially since this is fiction, these are made up space stories. But there also has to be room to understand that sometimes our commentary on fictional stories are echoes of reflection of real world attitudes--we can't just go around spewing racist, sexist, homophobic commentary and be like, "It's just fiction, you can't get upset!" There's no easy line for any of this, no single hard set in stone rule for when it's truly just fiction and when it's an echo of a real world attitude, especially in Star Wars, which often draws influence from a lot of non-Western sources and traditional Western sources. (My general rule of thumb is: I think it's fair to criticize those things through the influences they have, but if your criticism is then ended with, "So that's why we shouldn't have or acknowledge any Buddhism/Black people/queer people/women in Star Wars!" then fuck right on off with that.) And I also understand a lot of the anti-Jedi attitudes (or at least what I've personally experienced of them) because I've talked a bunch of times about how I started out as pretty Jedi-critical myself! I did the whole, "They had grown stagnant and refused to evolve with the galaxy, so they needed to be wiped out." thing because nobody had framed it explicitly as what it was: a genocide. It wasn't until a friend and I were talking and they mentioned that lens of it that it just sort of crashed down on me, oh, that's literally what it was and genocide is never justifiable. I did the whole, "The Jedi failed Anakin and taught him to repress his emotions." thing as well, because I saw it all over the place in fandom and just automatically folded it into my view, until I went back and actually watched Lucas' movies and Lucas' animation (first six movies + first six seasons of TCW) and read his interviews, which blew me onto my ass when I saw Obi-Wan being supportive of Anakin, when I saw Anakin not listening to the advice he was given, when I saw that Jedi were expressing emotion all over the place, when I saw they were respecting other Force traditions in the galaxy. I can't speak to why so many people think badly of the Jedi, there's probably a thousand reasons and I'm only vaguely aware of like half of them, but I do think that it's often unpopular to promote the idea of emotional regulation already being achieved, instead of something to be struggled with. I think we're all primed by a lot of mainstream media saying that an explosion of anger is what will save the day. I think there's so much anger in the world today that we're all angry and being told to let go of it feels really insulting at times. (But, as someone who has lost years of my life when I was younger to anger, I gotta say, I am so much better off having let go of as much of that shit as I can. It was poison in my veins, carrying that anger around. I lost so many friendships and opportunities and just time to being miserably mad about stuff.)

I'm getting off topic of the kidnapping aspect about the Jedi, but a lot of it starts to swirl together in what I've experienced (especially people who try to put this stuff on my posts--thankfully, that's died down/I block the people who won't respect boundaries) and so I kind of bounce from one aspect of it to another.

I do think it's good to talk about these things--both from "it's fun to analyze the content of the story on a meta level" perspective and "here's how this echoes into and from the real world" perspective, like I enjoy saying, okay, here's what's actually said in the movies/TCW, but also I think talking about how the Jedi are Buddhist influenced is important because that means they're going to have values that are meant to be reflected in that and Western fandom has a really big problem of being derisive about non-Western influences or automatically saying they're wrong. (I come from anime/manga fandoms, let me tell you, it's a big problem.)

And, yeah, in a way where it's really awful, but I think one of the most well-done things Disney's Star Wars has done is that it's really focused on showing that the Empire was a fascist one and the propaganda they used about the Jedi are ones that are super relevant to the conversation.

#lumi.txt #star wars #jedi order

149 notes · View notes

raven-at-the-writing-desk · 11 months

Note

To Ms, Raven,

I was wondering if you could answer this question for me.

Why doesn't Riddle hate his mom and will he finally be fed up with his mom controlling his life and stand up against her?

I mean Mrs. Rosehearts literally made him study all day, banned his playing time, yelled at him for JUST eating a tart, and forbid him from playing with Trey and Chenya (literally isolating him) and a heck ton of other bad things.

Before we begin, let me make my intentions clear: my goal is NOT to justify Mama Rosehearts' actions in this response, but to explain Riddle's sympathetic feelings for his mother despite being the product of helicopter parenting, isolation, and potentially abuse. (I say "potentially" here because people have different perceptions of the severity of her actions depending on factors like culture and personal experience. Some people also have fan theories which draw conclusions of more severe abuse based on the few canon details we have; I will go into more detail about these points later in the post). PLEASE NOTE: in order to address the question posed to me, I will have to discuss many potentially triggering subjects, such as various forms of child abuse and the resulting psychological trauma and trauma responses. While I am not an expert, I do have some background in this area and will do my best to speak mindfully on these matters. Please proceed with caution!!

I think a good place to start off with is first reviewing Riddle's backstory and how his mother and home life is depicted to us, the players. We need to establish what is true and debunk what is false or not yet proven (because there are a LOT of headcanons out there which make Mrs. Rosehearts far more terrible than she is actually shown to be in canon, and many people tend to believe these headcanons as fact because "well, she abused Riddle and so I more readily believe she would also do these other terrible things"). We also need to clearly establish that RIDDLE'S POINT OF VIEW ≠ THE PLAYER'S POINT OF VIEW. We need to put ourselves in Riddle's shoes as much as possible as we walk through this discussion. With that being said, let's proceed.

Firstly, it's true that Mrs. Rosehearts has very... questionable and extreme parenting methods. In Riddle's post-OB flashback, we see a majority of these questionable methods on display: she monitors Riddle's nutritional intake, forbids him from eating sweets, and has him spending most (if not all) of his time studying. Later on, when she discovers that Riddle had disobeyed her, she yells at Riddle for breaking her rules, skipping studying to play, and eating a strawberry tart. As a result of this, she takes away the one hour a day Riddle had for self-study (when she did not monitor him) and forbids Riddle from playing with Trey and Chenya ever again. We would also later learn that Riddle's mom has already decided a career path for him to take (which would be that of a medical mage) and that her relationship with her husband is also rocky. However, the "heck ton of other bad things" she has supposedly done simply does not exist. Certainly, there are a lot of headcanons, and I fear that some fans may have conflated headcanon with canon.

At most, you could say you think Mrs. Rosehearts has neglected her son (perhaps not meeting his needs for affection/socialization) and/or perpetuated emotional or psychological abuse (shouting, isolating him, maybe one could also argue withholding affection when he acts out of turn, etc). Even then, interpretations will vary greatly based on a player's personal experiences and cultural background. (For example, it is more socially acceptable in some Asian cultures for parents to not be openly affectionate and more critical of their children, whereas this is VERY much frowned upon in the west. As another example, if you experienced this kind of parenting yourself, you may be far less willing to understand Mrs. Rosehearts' POV, maybe even believe she is undeserving of having her POV seen.) Mrs. Rosehearts has never laid a hand on Riddle, and she has also never been guilty of putting him down, name-calling him, or insulting his abilities. There are also claims that Mrs. Rosehearts starved her son, which is why Riddle is short in stature. (ADDENDUM: I believe this resulted from a misunderstanding; fans misinterpreted “600 calories” in Riddle’s post-OB flashback as his daily intake, which is far below what a developing child needs. In actuality, “600 calories” is per MEAL, which would, in fact, meet a 5 year old’s daily caloric intake, particularly Riddle’s lifestyle which does not seem very active.) Those are just common headcanons which people more easily believe because they already go in with this impression in their minds that Riddle's mom is an irredeemable monster. What I think is flawed with this take is that this is, in no way, what abusers are ACTUALLY like. Very few abusers (whether fictional or real life ones) are cartoonishly evil. This is also true of Mrs. Rosehearts. I always see people claiming she's the epitome of wicked, but if you look more closely at how she is presented, you'll see that she's... not. Yes, she still did bad thigs that scarred Riddle for life. That doesn't mean she didn't love for or care for her son, and this will ultimately also impact how Riddle sees her.

Let's go back to Riddle's post-OB flashback. Pump the volume up as high as you can, and listen to how Mrs. Rosehearts speaks to her son. Does that sound like a woman who hates her child or relishes in abusing him? No, that's the sound of a mother who worries about her child's safety, nutrition, and studies. Again, I want to reiterate that she DOES take it way too far and that I completely disagree with her parenting methods. However, that does NOT mean that Mrs. Rosehearts is 100% a bad person and has no redeeming qualities. She pushes Riddle so hard because SHE genuinely believes that this is what is best for her son and what will help him succeed, and Riddle also believes in this. We may not agree with how she's going about raising her child, but that is also no reason to make accusations of her which aren't true. Mrs. Rosehearts being a figure of decent character is also something which is supported in how Riddle and other townspeople act toward her. He truly admires her and her accomplishments, and works hard in his studies in an effort to please her; likewise, the townspeople know Mrs. Rosehearts as a competent doctor (part of which, I would imagine, involves good bedside manner). Also note that Mrs. Rosehearts does not randomly scream at Riddle (despite being known for having a temper), she only raises her voice when she is actually mad and concerned for him. Perhaps the anger is too much, sure, but she does not go off on her son for like... asking for a strawberry tart for his birthday. She addresses him very calmly but sternly and explains why he should not eat such a thing, and this paints her as more rational than being a constantly irate woman the fandom often assumes she is.

Consider also that Riddle will naturally have a good opinion of his mother just by being her child. Most children are socialized to look up to and to admire their parents, because these are the first people they get to know, and the people who will support the children throughout their entire lives. This may be even more so for Riddle, who grew up in a community where his mother was also admired by the townsfolk and he had very little exposure to differing points of view. And what is a child if not impressionable? We see this clearly illustrated in book 1, where Riddle is constantly repeating his mother's teachings or acting in accordance with them. For 17 years of his life, he was told and taught that his mother knew best, and that was, for all intents and purposes, ALL he knew. So when his worldview is unexpectedly shattered, it's NOT easy for him to put all the pieces back together again. That's why he lashes out at Ace when Ace tells him off--because it's hard to accept the truth that his whole life was a lie, and it's much easier to lash out and blame others for it instead.

17 years is a very important number here. It's a LONG chunk of time to only be exposed to like... mainly one worldview. Even when you realize what has been normalized to you for your whole life isn’t actually normal, you won't instantaneously change it. To think otherwise would be naive and short-sighted. Think of it like trying to break a bad habit or achieving a New Year's goal. It's not automatic, and it takes conscious time and effort to achieve. It's not fair to demand of Riddle that he suddenly hates the woman who raised him, and nor will it be easy for him to "stand up" to her or to rebel. You see it in book 4 before he leaves for holiday break: Riddle looked far less confident, even nervous, to speak with his mother, and understandably so. If Riddle reacted harshly to being told he was wrong, and then acts skittish about letting his mother know his true feelings, then it can be assumed that this is, perhaps, learned behavior. Riddle is scared about how his mother will react when she's told she has been wrong all these years. He's still a scared child who doesn't like being yelled at, just like when he was chided for disobeying her. That experience is still very much ingrained in his mind, and he fears similar punishments. Not only that, but think about how "by the books" Riddle is. If it's not on an exam or in a textbook, it's difficult for him to do. I guarantee you there is no textbook out there that gives a scared teenager step by step instructions on how to break this difficult news to a highly opinionated parent. Riddle is not only still reeling from his recent revelation, but also confused about how to navigate his new understanding of the world and of his mother. Of course it will be a challenge for him to articulate his thoughts to someone as imposing as his mom.

It’s difficult especially with children to come to grasp with the idea that a parental figure, someone whom they love and entrust their lives to, abused them. It flies in the face of all they’ve known, and to a still developing child it can be devastating. It’s the ultimate betrayal of trust. What happens a lot of the time is that victims of abuse try to justify or defend the actions of their abusers, whether for fear of their own lives, having developed sympathy for the abuser, or just so the victim can better cope with and make sense of their circumstances. I also want to add here that there are many cases where victims of child abuse try to justify the abuse to themselves by attributing blame not to their abusers, but to themselves. This seems to be the case with Riddle, as in his post-OB flashback we see Riddle stating "Because I broke the rules, my favorite part of the day was taken away from me." He refuses to cast blame on his mother because "she was the most accomplished mother in the city, and therefore, the most correct". This fits into and maintains Riddle's then current understanding of the world and is a protective measure that kids take to prevent damaging their egos; he was likely way too young and way too sheltered to be able to challenge it at the time.

All of this is also partly why it is hard for victims of abuse to leave their abusers. In Riddle’s case, it is particularly a challenge because he literally lives with his mom outside of school and has no other place he could really stay considering how tight of a leash his mom has on his schedule. Like… what even IS he supposed to do now? When he innocently defied her before, he was swiftly punished. He’s powerless. That’s what a lot of arguments for “Riddle should just stand up to his mom” fail to account for, it’s just not feasible for him to do given the circumstances, even if he did have the courage to do so. Can he really be blamed for not openly rebelling when he is aware that his mother will not respond positively to it and will likely make his life more difficult than it already is in retaliation? She could even pull him out of school if she wanted to and believed that her son was being badly influenced by the students there, and that would only make Riddle more miserable. There is no easy way to reconcile this complex situation.

Something else that needs to be said is while Riddle now realizes how controlling his mother is, that doesn’t mean he suddenly wants NO restraints whatsoever on his behavior or that he “should” hate her now. He’s someone that benefits from having schedules and some structure to his life, it’s just that his mother took it to an extreme. It’s also true that he puts a lot of value in performing well, so much so that he drives his dorm members to do the same. Now, it’s totally up for debate whether or not this is something that is a genuine aspect of Riddle’s personality and values outside of what his mother has instilled in him. However, it’s still the case that Riddle does not necessarily view rules and structure as a negative thing. He still imposes them considerably even after he comes to recognize his mother’s parenting was toxic and uses rules as the basis for his day-to-day behaviors, even obeying the usually absurd rules set by the Queen of Hearts. The same can be said of studying and the substitutes Riddle finds for traditional play (ie crosswords, logic puzzles, etc.). Riddle may just naturally be inclined to enjoy these things, or he could just have developed the affinity for these things due to having no other options. If these are his actual hobbies or how he likes to spend his time, then regardless of how they became his interests, they should be respected and considered legitimate. Mrs. Rosehearts is responsible for instilling good habits in Riddle just as much as she is also responsible for his childhood trauma.

I want to clarify that Riddle does not, of course, want other people (and certainly not his mom) making all of his decisions for him. He has thought about pursuing law instead of magical medicine like his parents had wanted him to, but is reluctant to express this to his mother (most likely because he thinks she won't take it well/will reject the idea). The thing is, Riddle does not want either extreme where rules dominate his life, and nor does he want no rules at all. He wants the freedom to choose some things for himself, but he also finds a degree of comfort in the "absolute"-ness of rules and governance. Riddle isn't at the point where he is entirely comfortable with making his own decisions yet, and that's why he still heavily relies on rules to guide him (even as late as book 6, when he refuses to let Azul get hurt because of a law stating that only those with medical licenses can perform certain healing spells). If Riddle cannot stand on his own just yet, then I don't think he's emotionally ready to unyieldingly confront his mother about... well, everything, either.

One comparison I sometimes see is that of Mother Gothel and Mrs. Rosehearts, and Rapunzel and Riddle. Both children are put in a situation with an abusive mother figure who keeps them isolated from the world, but there are key differences in their tales. For one, Mother Gothel is Obviously Evil and constantly and willingly gaslights and manipulates Rapunzel for her own gain rather than out of genuine love or concern for her daughter. At the end of Tangled, Rapunzel manages to escape Gothel’s clutches and into the lap of luxury as a royal (ie her true family). Riddle does not have those same resources or connections, and nor is Mrs. Rosehearts nearly as evil as Gothel is, which muddies the waters on what Riddle feels okay doing. Not all cases of abuse are the same, and nor do they all call for the same responses. We also need to think about the meta context of Riddle’s story; it’s not a fairy tale or a traditional Disney princess movie where he can marry out of his abusive household a la Cinderella style. TWST asks us tough questions about life and our relationships, and Riddle’s unresolved family matters are one aspect of that. We should not expect clean, perfectly happy endings in TWST where Mrs. Rosehearts is the clearly bad person to be hauled off to jail while Riddle declares his hatred for her and runs off to enjoy his newfound freedom. Easy solutions like that don’t suit TWST’s tone or its methods of conflict presentation and “resolution” 💦 (which are not really solutions, but more like works in progress).

Try to think about this from Riddle’s perspective and not as an onlooker only seeing the absolute worst aspects of his mother. You, as Riddle, assume your mother has your best interests at heart and have known her as your caretaker for all your life. You have lived one way for 17 years and you hardly know anything else. The one time you strayed, you and your friends suffered because of it. And now you're being told actually everything the person you considered a paragon, the person you basically modeled your life after, is wrong. Your entire existence and everything you've done (because it was taught to you), by extension, is suddenly wrong. You're not going to automatically hate your mom for doing this to you because in your head, because you have all these other factors to consider: the good sides to her that you have experienced, the good intentions behind her teachings, etc. It doesn't negate the pain you're feeling, but it definitely makes it a lot harder to swallow. It's like being told a lie your whole life and then you're exposed to the truth. It's not going to be easy to handle, and it will no doubt take extensive therapy, time, and effort to overcome and to muster the strength to even talk on equal terms with the source of his trauma. You can see this perfectly exemplified in Riddle’s post-OB flashback sequence; never once in it (despite being told from Riddle’s POV) does he speak ill of his mother. Instead, he seems lost and confused and hurt, asking her why his heart still hurts even though he has followed every single one of her rules. You can tell here that he does not hate her at all for what she has done, even though he also acknowledges that she is the root of his issues. Both things can be true, and there is nothing wrong with that.

I think a lot of the discrepancies in our perception of Riddle's mom and Riddle's perception of his mom ultimately comes down to not being able to put aside our own intense feelings of protectiveness for a character we like and/or have spent a lot of time getting to know versus Riddle, who actually knows his mother on a far more intimate level. He can see her goodness, and how much she cares for him in spite of her sternness. Understandably, some of us have also been in circumstances similar to Riddle, so we may empathize with him and want him to act out against his mom when maybe that isn't actually the best answer considering how... messy things are. We have to think like Riddle is and not like ourselves when trying to determine why he may not be entirely hateful toward her. No matter how badly Mrs. Rosehearts' behavior is perceived by us, the fact of the matter is that Riddle will find it hard to break free from her influence on him (which has basically shaped who he is as an individual) and will be reluctant to brand her as his abuser and completely turn his back on her. She is not only his family, but a teacher and mentor, and seemingly the main figure in his life so far. To throw that all away in the blink of an eye because he realized that person abused him just is not realistic. The abuse very obviously still happened, but the emotional attachment and the positive feelings Riddle has of that abuser are still there, keeping him tethered to them. The scissors are in his hand to sever that tie, but he also has to think of his own emotional capability to handle that cutting of the relationship and the consequences that will follow.

If I can make a quick aside, try to think about things from Mrs. Rosehearts' POV too. Imagine thinking you're a great parent and your son is so successful as a student, etc. Then that successful son comes to you during winter break after a year and a half or so of studies at NRC and he tells you actually you've been a terrible mom and they have everlasting trauma because of you. I don't know for sure what Riddle actually said to his mom then, but I imagine that any kind of information that challenges her worldview will be hard for her to take. It's the exact same thing Riddle is going through: living your whole life thinking one thing, only to have the rug pulled out from under you and it turns out the total opposite is true. I'm not saying you have to empathize with Mrs. Rosehearts, but please at least realize the similarities here. When you reframe the situation from her eyes, it's... basically the same as Riddle. You're faced with a hard truth, and you need to take the time to process it and come to terms with the mistakes you've made the past 17 years. I'm in NO way claiming that Riddle is to blame for what he went through, I'm just saying that this may all be difficult for Mrs. Rosehearts to take as well. (And it’s almost impossible to get a parent stuck in their ways to change their minds.) My point is, things are not going to change so easily on either of their sides, and it would probably only further aggravate the situation if Riddle were to keep instigating.

Maybe hate seems like the rational response to some of us. But for someone like Riddle who knows very little of the world and obviously still holds tender feelings about the woman who tutored him and took care of him... yeah, he's not going to default to hate. He's scared and confused and still trying to understand it all. I don't think we should push him or question why Riddle isn't hateful toward his mom. If anything, I think it's good that he isn't automatically putting all the blame for his actions on her. He's accepting some personal responsibility for the things he's done and said, and taking the time to reevaluate and reconsider his complicated relationship with his mother. That's a totally normal trauma response (just as much as hate is a normal trauma response for other victims), and I think it’s valid as a form of constructive self-reflection.

I guess I want to wrap this response up by saying… I know what Riddle is probably going through. His childhood is shockingly similar to my own, and I know that I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of complex feelings as a result of those experiences myself. But that’s not universal. Some people who have gone through the same things as Riddle may be angry. That’s normal too. We don’t always know how individuals will react to trauma, be it the same as Riddle’s or entirely different than his. Just because people think you should react with anger and hate doesn’t mean that victim actually will. We’re not in their heads. We don’t know the full story (Riddle’s post-OB flashback actually shows us very little of what Mrs. Rosehearts is like). All we can really hope for is to try our best to understand their perspective, support them without personal judgment, and grant them the space and time to decide what to do themselves, rather than impose our own ideals on how Riddle “should” behave or react in response to trauma. Even if the intent is good and we want the best for him, it may not come off as being all that helpful (something which I also talk about in this post).

#twst #twisted wonderland #Riddle Rosehearts #twst analysis #twisted wonderland analysis #twisted wonderland character analysis #twst character analysis #disney twisted wonderland #question #notes from the writing raven #tw // child abuse #Ace Trappola #Trey Clover #Chenya #Che'nya #Azul Ashengrotto

180 notes · View notes

agreysexualromantic · 6 months

Text

I've talked before about how much Lois soaks up the love and safety of the Kents, but I think we also need to talk about what Clark sees and learns from his entire relationship with Lois.

Outside of his family, Clark's relationships have consistently been struggles of boundaries and safety.

There's Lex: Clark sees so much good in him, they share so much and he wants so much to be able to trust him, but Lex simply cannot stop his fixation on Clark's "secret". As a result, it's a constant battle of boundaries and lies, leaving Clark with no true sense of safety there.

There's Chloe: Now, I adore Chloe, especially as the series progresses, but at the start her young, enthusiastic journalistic curiosity often resulted in massive violations of Clark's privacy. She finds out about his abilities not because he tells her, but through yet another huge violation of privacy by another person. She does a great job of working to change and becoming a safe place for Clark to be open, but once again he has a trusted relationship with constant pushes for him to be *more* vulnerable, to share *more* of himself, and people skirting around his boundaries for their own sake. Rough stuff.

Then we have Pete: the first person Clark *willingly* shares his full background with, only to have his abilities weaponized against him over and over again. Literally, Pete pulls out green and red kryptonite and uses it on Clark ALL THE DAMN TIME. He gets mad at Clark for NOT sharing his secret earlier, and then goes on to blame him when Pete's life is made more complicated and dangerous by the knowledge. No safety there, no real ability to just relax and be himself because Clark never really knows when Pete might once again throw his secret back in his face.

And then there's Lana: I want to be clear here, *I do not hate Lana*. I actually think very highly of her, especially when she's not dating Clark. And I mean that in both directions, neither Clark nor Lana feel truly safe or at ease with each other in their relationship. I'm just going to focus on Lana for a second here as it relates to my point about Clark and love. Lana wants Clark to be fully open and honest with her. But The Secret becomes The Thing that she just can't see around. Despite how well she knows Clark, she perpetually uses The Secret to assign the worst motives to his actions, and to assume that he has done terrible things despite having no evidence that The Secret has anything to do with the character of Clark that she already knows. (Again, I recognize Clark's nonsense in this relationship too, I'm just focusing on this one side for the moment). Clark never really feels safe with her as a result, because her fixation on KNOWING his secret becomes more important than knowing or understanding him, and again, boundaries are crossed and miscommunication abounds.

Enter Lois Lane. She is a lot of things, but one thing that Lois is for Clark from very early on is *safe*.

We see her repeatedly respect people's boundaries and choices. For all of her curiosity and her drive for truth and answers, she draws a very firm line around the personal lives of others. She waits to be invited rather than demanding vulnerability from Clark. Sure, she offers lots of advice that Clark didn't ask for, but she never tries to pry him open. She takes him as he is, with the belief that people should be allowed to share what they feel safe sharing.

That is mind blowing for Clark. Outside of his family, he's never experienced love like that, platonic or otherwise. There have always been strings, always been eyes looking closer than he wanted, always been people holding his privacy over his head like a weapon. We see Clark, time and again, truly *relax* with Lois in a way he can't with just about anyone else. Lois is safe, truly, in a world where Clark is consistently surrounded with emotional danger.

I saw a post recently that related Clark's secret to someone coming out (even though that's likely not what the writers were going for intentionally). It's so true. Clark always deserved the chance to share all of himself when and how HE wanted to, and over and over again that chance was taken from him or used against him. I think that's why I personally feel so strongly about all of the people in his life being SO insistent that Clark is deceitful, overly guarded, that he HAS to share his secret OR ELSE (or else they will dig it up anyway, or else they will leave him, or else he will tell them and they will use the knowledge against him, or else, or else....)

There's no or else with Lois. She's happy to accept Clark as Clark, and he needed that so much.

As always, Lois Lane is my hero.

#really Lana is great #she's just at her best when she's not centering her life around someone else #team Lana going off and living her best life #clark can be a dingus too #trust me i see it #the dude needs therapy #really everyone in Smallville needs therapy #traumaville #lois lane #smallville #clois #clark and lois #lois and clark #erica durance #tom welling #text post #agreys ramblings

87 notes · View notes

wuxianxkexing · 3 months

Text

I love Mu Qing so much but I think his story arc would be way more interesting if he was canonically allosexual. Gay, bi, straight, doesn't really matter to me. I just think it would add even more complexity to his character. Like it's hard for a lot of monks and nuns to keep their vows during a normal human lifetime, Mu Qing's will power must be absolutely insane if he's 800+ years old, still experiencing sexual attraction and still choosing to uphold his vows. I don't know if he was just being catty when he called Xiao Ying ugly or if he felt the need to comment because he is attracted to women like that but my head canon is that he is at least bisexual. We know that both Mu Qing and Feng Xin act more freely in their disguises so I feel like he probably only made that comment because it's the only time he can actually admit to anyone that yeah, women can be pretty like that. Maybe not this particular one, but since Xiao Ying was the focus in this situation I feel like he probably would've complimented her instead if he actually thought she was really pretty. Like yeah Mu Qing is known for being a bit of a bitch, but even bitchy people are only bitchy about things that they at least somewhat care about.

I think another hint is Mu Qing's reaction in the women's bath house. Our boy hid his face in his hands and screamed. We know he isn't scared of women like Feng Xin is. He was obviously overwhelmed by some kind of emotion though. He was shown having a look around before he realized he shouldn't be doing that. Mu Qing canonically easily blushes because his skin is so pale, but he didn't blush in this scene. Which leads me to think he didn't scream out of embarrassment. He didn't have the typical pervert reaction to it, but he wasn't exactly chill about it either. He could've easily sneaked out without drawing attention to himself if he didn't scream, so why did he do that? I think he screamed, hid his face in his hands and started mentally reciting the ethics sutra. Xie Lian is funny because he started reciting the ethics sutra when Jian Lan tried to hit on him even though he definitely didn't need to. 😂 But because of that we know that is what they were taught to do when faced with "tempting" situations (Xie Lian was just still operating under the assumption that he was straight). So Mu Qing didn't blush out of embarrassment, he had a look around but not in the stereotypical pervert way, and then he screamed. I think the scream was probably induced by intrusive thoughts. Like he has been following the same cultivation path for 800 years, he obviously doesn't want to have thoughts like that, and since intrusive thoughts are by definition unwanted that is probably why he didn't blush and probably why he screamed.

Plus it would be a nice foil to Xie Lian who was able to uphold his vows seemingly without any trouble, minus the one time he was literally poisoned. I feel like Mu Qing's internal dialouge would be like "Oh she's pretty. Too bad my dick don't care. (It definitely cares)." I just think it would be interesting and probably kind of funny. Plus if it was canon it would add an extra hint to his true character if it was revealed earlier on in the books. It's really easy to assume that anyone who's a virgin for 800+ years is on the ace spectrum because most allo people just don't have it in them to be celibate that long.

#heaven officials blessing #tgcf #mu qing

46 notes · View notes

strawberrygiorno · 11 months

Text

I've seen people talk about Kim's daily cigarette and the connection to the lungs and how if he's left in Martinaise he smokes a second cigarette and how that links to his feelings for Harry.

What I haven't seen is people talking about the cigarette also involving fire. Fire, which the game repeatedly uses to represent hope, change, and revolution.

Let's take a look at the lines after his one-a-day habit is introduced:

[Text ID: KIM KITSURAGI - "You mean this?" The light of his cigarette illuminates a fleeting smile. "This isn't cool - it's an unnecessary trial of will. And unhealthy." He flicks the ash.

VOLITION - Keeping the habit within the parameters he's given himself takes a lot of focus. It would be easier to simply quit.

COMPOSURE - Yet were he to quit, he would lose the cool factor. This man relishes his cool quite a bit -- below it all. End ID]

This is clearly an allegory for the way he tries to keep his emotions under tight control, and this includes his desire for something better for Revachol. Volition states that it would be easier to quit than to do what Kim does. Giving up hope, resigning himself to the world he's in, would mean less disappointment, more distance, less pain, but it would mean removing a significant part of himself. That spark is too important to him to extinguish fully. Being in the RCM, though, means he needs to keep that spark as dim as possible. Otherwise, he might draw attention himself or actually process his role in suppressing the change he can't help but want.

This is interesting when coupled with some statements he makes later if you ask him his position on the Moralintern and Dolorianism.

[Text ID: KIM KITSURAGI - "The Moralintern are a fact. I try not to have opinions on facts -- until they change. And," he looks at the city below, "It doesn't look like that's about to happen." End ID]

[Text ID: YOU - "Kim, are you a follower of Dolorianism?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes. We all are. Her name, body, and rule are synonymous with humanism. The laws we enforce are Dolorian in origin."

YOU - "I didn't think you were spiritual."

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's not spiritual. It's constitutional. The Dolorian system does not demand faith -- only accordance." End ID]

These answers are both so... empty. There's no belief in either of these systems, just that resignation to the fact of their existence. He is, on some level, aware of what he is supporting. That tiny revolutionary desire of his keeps him from identifying with it, though his refusal to stoke that flame simultaneously keeps him from rejecting it to pursue something he *can* believe in.

So, Kim takes refuge in something he knows is true: facts. He knows how the world works, and he knows that there aren't mysterious things like giant bug cryptids or 2-millimeter holes in the world involved in Martinaise.

Except, there are those things, as well as other things that challenge what Kim holds to be facts, and he is forced to accept that the world is much stranger and much more beautiful than he dared to believe.

Over the course of one week, facts change.

The first cigarette we see Kim smoke that final day comes out almost immediately after Harry wakes up after the tribunal, which is completely understandable. After experiencing the tribunal and seeing Harry in so much pain and abandoned by his precinct, of course Kim is experiencing affection for Harry and anger at the system that created this situation.

Later, looking at the message painted on the ground in oil, Harry sets it on fire. What does he use to do this?

[Text ID: YOU - "Step back, lieutenant." (Set the graffito on fire with a lit cigarette.)

ONE DAY I WILL RETURN TO YOUR SIDE - The fuel oil catches fire immediately with an ominous hiss -- a bright orange flash across the surface of the letters. Black smoke rises from the burning message. End ID]

A cigarette. One spark to set off the massive fire. A fire that warms both of them.

That brings us to Kim's second cigarette he smokes when left in Martinaise. It's a representation of how irrevocably changed Kim is by his experience on this case. Even if he and Harry don't go on to continue working together, this one week has stirred something in Kim that causes that hopeful, revolutionary fire in his lungs to burn a little brighter, and for once he decides to fan the flame.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #it speaks #i hope this is coherent #i have a bunch of other thoughts but it was too hard to get them all into one post #so focusing on the cigarettes for now haha

184 notes · View notes

ingravinoveritas · 7 months

Text

(Putting this in a separate post because I sort of scattered my thoughts across two different posts last night.)

So by now we've all probably seen the Ask that Neil answered saying that the kissing scene in GO 2 required only one take. There were a couple of things that came to my mind when I read this, and perhaps the most immediate was that the OP asked how many times the scene had to be filmed, and that means the scene entire--the confession, the pleading, everything--not necessarily just the kiss itself. To that end, I wonder how Neil was answering--i.e., referring to the entire scene, or just the kiss. Because as it stands, the question (and answer) are a bit ambiguous/confusing, and lend themselves to greater discussion.

Assuming that this is all true, however, and that the kiss/scene was filmed in one take (though I'm not sure I believe this was actually the case, given the multitude of camera angles and other cinematographic necessities), I'd like to share a few thoughts. I keep seeing people say that Michael and David are actors, consummate professionals, and how could one underestimate their abilities so as to think they would need more than one take. The thing is, we do know that they are actors. Two of the finest this world has ever seen, even. But it is also abundantly clear that if the kiss was achieved in one take, it was not simply because they are actors, but because it was Michael and David. Together.

To stand across from someone and give/react to such an emotional performance involves so much intimacy and trust, in a way not many of us can understand. If we draw a comparison to OFMD, Rhys Darby and Taika Waititi talked about their kiss in season 1 being awkward, even though they have been friends for a long time. Michael and David, by contrast, have been close friends (if not more) for only a few years, yet there was not a moment's hesitation in that kiss. David, who was nearly blind in that scene from the combination of contact lenses and sunglasses, found his way to Michael's lips with a practiced ease, an approach borne of both skill and familiarity. And Michael trusted David so fully in that moment--trusted him enough to be vulnerable, to let himself be kissed and give up control to David.

The gasp when their mouths met. The hands coming to rest on David's back. The way Michael seemingly leans up partway through, leans into David while expertly conveying the myriad of emotions Aziraphale is experiencing. Could it all have been done in one take? Perhaps. But that still doesn't mean there wasn't more to it. The accumulation of so much that had built between Michael and David over the intervening years between season 1 and season 2, further adding to their already incredible on-screen chemistry. All there for us to see, to make us want more. To make us ache.

Whatever the case may be--whether the kiss truly was accomplished in one take, or was the result of countless rehearsals between Michael and David in the days/weeks/months beforehand (be it at the S2 table read, while working on scene blocking, or the two of them "rehearsing" on their own) we are beyond fortunate to have witnessed something so precious and rare. And hopefully we'll soon get to hear Michael and David themselves telling us all about what it was like...

98 notes · View notes

aro-comics · 2 years

Text

Maybe More People Are Arospec (Part 2)

Maybe More People Are Arospec, 2/3 -So explain the note from slide 5 : As a gray-aro, I want to clarify that most with this label experience gray-aromanticism differently. I can only speak for my own experiences, which is that I don't experience romantic attraction but (in the past) have experienced something that was close enough/briefly maybe the real thing (?) that I can know when attraction ISN'T romantic. (You can read more in my "Squishes vs. Crushes" comic by scrolling down further on my page 🐸) I’m only including this point because this ACTUAL conversation illustrates how much arospec people get told what we’re feeling, even when (in my case at least) we clearly know otherwise.

Which, speaking of - there are SO MANY MOMENTS in this part of the comic that are reinterpretations of things that I've genuinely experienced 😫😫 Sometimes I wonder what took me so long to accept my aromanticism, and moments like what I showed, especially the speech bubbles in the second last slide - gosh. There's a lot to unpack there 🙃 I think if there’s one thing that really surprised me to realize as I made this series, it’s the amount of casual arophobia that’s just … woven into so many stories and common ideologies. And though there’s a lot of work that needs to be done on that front, I will say that on the bright side realizing my identity has allowed me to confront and start to unlearn these harmful sentiments. Like actually understanding it’s not my FAULT that I’m arospec, nor is the expression of my aromanticism a fault of any kind to begin with - it’s really helped improve my mental health these past few years 💚💚

I've also got an update more about my personal life in the comments! But barring that, hello everyone, I'm glad to have this up now and I hope you're all doing well too and taking care of yourself this *holiday* season 🐸💚!!!

[Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia again sits on a green armchair in a living room. "Feelings are murky, and romantic attraction is perhaps the most poorly defined of them all. Ask any two people, and you'll get different answers"

Slide 2: "So … wouldn't it be logical to assume that because society categorizes ANY strong positive emotion for others as romantic love -"

Drawing of a classroom (based off of something Celia would have seen growing up in Health class anyway). Teacher, a faceless ginger woman stands talking gesturing towards a screen.

Screen says: "Signs of romantic love", with smaller icons underneath labelled "you think about them often", "you want to plan a future with them", "you always feel like smiling when you're with them"

The teacher says "True love is a wonderful experience - we'll be going over some of the ways …"

Slide 3: Continued text from last slide "-that maybe, a lot of people miscategorize their feelings for people (especially 'straight' attraction) as romantic attraction?

In this scene a girl seems to be flustered by an aesthetically attractive man winking at her. But in the background you see her thoughts, which ramble on:

"Wow he is so cool! And … he's talking to me? OH MY GOD. Oh no my hair is sucha mess I hope it looks okay? At least I'm wearing my matching hair bows today … Wait do I have a CRUSH on him? I .. don't think so. But I'm also feeling butterflies right? Doesn't that mean I like him?"

Slide 4: "I've been told when I've described my squishes -"

Celia standing in the scene against a blank background. She's describing a squish to someone off panel.

"I don't really know how to describe it … like for some reason you just feel safer and happier to be around them, and you want them to be present in your life, for a long time -"

Someone off panel says "Oh, that just means you're in love" - which is noted in the bottom of the panel that this was referring to romantic love, based on an actual conversation Celia has had.

Slide 5: Celia responds to previous panel. She looks unimpressed and says "… I'm gray-aromantic. I know what a 'crush' feels like. I know that isn't it."

(another note directs reader to description for more information)

Slide 6: Shot switches back to Celia in her armchair. She says "I've heard aros who dated before they realized their identity say that they thought everyone just played along with social norms for romance"

Slide 7: "So I wonder, in a society that demonizes those who say they don't feel the same 'spark' that everyone else describes -"

A boy is drawn sitting at a desk as though in school. In the background speech bubbles paraphrasing common arophobic sentiments in the background:

"He's evil. Of course he wouldn't understand what it means to feel love."

"But like, why can't she feel the same way for him? He's perfect for her - I just don't get what's WRONG with her"

"He's so weird - did you hear how he's never been in a relationship?"

Slide 8: Shot back to Celia in her armchair. She asks the reader "How many people are actually alloromantic?"]

#regularcomic #MMPA #MaybeMorePeopleAreArospec

918 notes · View notes

sarucane · 6 months

Text

OFMD Spiral Narrative 47: What Would Jeff Do?

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

Ed identifies himself as "Jeff" twice in the series, once in each season. In the first season, the name--and the personality that goes with it--is essentially a throwaway, a casual lie as Ed reaches for a childhood fantasy. But using that name also gives Ed an excuse to disconnect from himself, from his own fears and insecurities. When the name reappears in season 2, he's no longer strong enough internally to maintain that dissonance. But then a funny thing happens: by the end of the series, Ed absorbs "Jeff" into his everyday self, as he sets out on a new chapter in his life.

The first time Ed mentions "Jeff," it's when he's attending a fancy party with Stede. The implication is that he's been fantasizing about something like this ever since he was a child--but his reasons for choosing his name and profession here are shallow.

The joke, of coure, is that Ed, who's lived a mad life, would find this mundane name and dull job "exotic." And even then, he doesn't really know how to reach for a different life. His reaction to experiencing fear at the party is to project his own everyday methods of survival onto "Jeff."

Not only that, but he then proceeds to tell stories as himself, but pretending to be "Jeff."

The only reason the "Jeff" persona survives this is that people think he's telling tales. The division between "Ed" and "Jeff" is broken in Ed's mind, but to these people Ed doesn't really exist. This might look like a kind of integration, but it's not. It's all about pageantry, and the ideas people are projecting onto Ed.

By the end of the night, Ed's not even being called "Jeff" anymore. They've given him a new cruel nickname.

The "Jeff" identity fails to give Ed any safety in this unfamiliar setting, and he almost immediately loses control of its meaning.

In season 2, Ed resurrects Jeff, complete with a new title: innkeeper.

On the one hand, this actually immediately signals how Ed's matured since the first time he called himself "Jeff." He chose accounting because the word sounded good, but he demonstrates having actually thought about innkeeping and why he'd like it.

Accounting was just a word to Ed, but innkeeping is something he can draw on his own experience to understand (kinda), translating it into terms that are relevant to his life.

That said, Ed still demonstrates a level of removal from the situation. He doesn't really believe at this point that he could have a life like "Jeff the Innkeeper" (just like he feared he couldn't have a life like Jeff the Accountant).

And he immediately attacks himself for thinking he could have a life like this. Hornigold is Ed: when Hornigold sneers at the idea that Ed could become something other than a pirate, that's Ed sneering at himself.

But then the seasons diverge. In season 1, Ed never mentioned Jeff or accounting again. In fact, he never restarts his lessons on "the ways of an aristocrat" again, abandoning the dream for the shallow thing it is. Because he doesn't want it anymore. He wants something else.

The meaning of that scrap of silk he carried used to be that he'd always long for something fine he could never have; now there's someone in front of him who thinks he's "fine" himself. He doesn't need to long for more, he has more.

In season 2, Ed also never mentions Jeff again. But he does mention becoming an innkeeper again.

Not only that, he expands the idea of innkeeping to include Stede.

In season 1, Jeff was a version of Ed who had all of the benefits of piracy (determination, good stories), but none of the drawbacks; a version of Ed who was worthy of all the things Ed feared he was unworthy of. An innocent, childhood fantasy.

In season 2, Jeff is gone. There's just Ed, who is no longer trying to reconcile dissonant versions of himself, who is putting aside piracy to try to grow in different ways. A version of Ed who is adult, and flawed--and loved.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #ed teach #stede bonnet #blackbonnet

31 notes · View notes

bluegekk0 · 7 months

Note

You’re never annoying when you rant about your AU! I love seeing and hearing people infodump about what they’ve created. Watching people get excited about their creations is the highlight of my day. Let’s use this ask as an infodump opportunity. What’s something you want to infodump about but have never gotten the chance? Spill some beans! I’m ready to listen!

oh anon, you have no idea how much i needed an ask like this. had a pretty rough day, and talking about them always helps me feel a bit better. so i really appreciate this, and of course i appreciate all of your words, thank you <3

i'll put the infodump under a read more thingy cause this may end up being quite long haha

i've been thinking about grimm a lot. okay, i think about him all the time, but i mean more in the context of developing his backstory a little bit more. i listened to this davy jones theme suite, and i find all that sadness and anger incredibly inspiring whenever i think about him. that, and i've been rewatching doctor who, and the theme of an immortal being desperately searching for a life they can never really have is something that resonated with me greatly

i always saw grimm as someone who keeps an emotional distance from others, while still craving the most human kind of experience. he's a god, and yet he's always spent most of his time among mortals. his relationship with the radiance has never been the most positive even though they were siblings, their shared responsibility given to them by their father was the source of most of their fights, as grimm fundamentally disagreed with the way the radiance saw her followers - she thought they belonged to her, while grimm believed they had no right to claim ownership over other beings, mortal or not. he valued freedom and mutual respect, while she wanted control, as she desperately wanted to maintain the position given to her by their father, in an effort to preserve his legacy. grimm did not feel that obligation - he did his duty, but aside from that, he held no attachment towards their father. and that ultimately led to the battle between him and his sister, which ended in his defeat. he was banished from the higher, stripped from the ability to ever return to it, and forced to stay in the nightmare realm. his powers were weakened and he was unable to draw them from the gods plane, meaning that he could only use them for so long before he needed to rest and recharge his energy, most of which goes into creating his physical form (and it's why he has to periodically replace it - the body, while allowing him to walk the mortal plane, also collects nightmare essence which is then consumed in the ritual in order to restore the energy)

but i drifted away from my main point. he was very fond of the mortals, and his curiosity soon turned into envy. he watched them live their lives, and noticed how, despite being aware of their mortality, they lived their lives to the fullest. he wanted to experience some of it for himself, the pleasures, the emotions, everything that made the mortals human (well, in the metaphorical sense in this case, since they're not actually humans haha). and at first he loved everything about his life. he did not have to worry about dying and could do whatever he wanted, what more could he ask for?

well, he hasn't experienced love up until that point. in all of his search for pleasures, he slowly realized just how lonely he was. after his banishment, he formed the troupe which would accompany him on his travels and assist him with the rituals, but it did little to help his loneliness. as much as he valued freedom, they swore their loyalty to him, to the nightmare king, and whether he wanted to admit it or not, they belonged to him, it was the only way he could maintain their immortality that he promised them. but it went against what he stood for when he clashed with his sister. he wanted to find love, but he knew it couldn't be with anyone in the troupe. willingly or not, he would be abusing his power, and in his eyes, that wasn't real love. he wanted someone who would stay with him not because of their connection to the nightmare king, but because they loved him. and most importantly, he wanted them to have the freedom to make that choice. this is where brumm comes into the picture, as i do see him as having one sided feelings for grimm. they were never reciprocated, but clearly there was more to it than just not being the right type. grimm had a very strong stance against finding a partner within the troupe, and unfortunately for brumm, he had to experience that first hand

of course, as we all know, grimm ended up finding a partner in fpk. but fpk was not the first, there was someone before him. now, this is a very fresh idea, so i don't have many details as to who that someone was, though that's beside the point as grimm would not want to talk about them either way. but he did fall in love once, and unfortunately for him, he fell in love with a mortal. so as you'd expect, it never worked out. the moment he realized that they were aging before his eyes, that he would have to eventually watch them die, he removed himself from the picture. simply put, he ran away like a coward before he had to face his lover's mortality. and ever since then, he kept an emotional distance from everyone, in fear that he would get attached again. he realized that he could never have the life he wanted, with someone he could truly connect and spend his eternity with. the eternity, which he started to view as a curse. and following that, everything went downhill. the pleasures he once enjoyed now lost all of their meaning. he still slept around and attended events as he always did, but there was no joy in it anymore, he simply just wanted to feel something, anything. he usually found that feeling in drinking or one night stands with others, but he still backed away the moment there was even a suggestion of something more going on. it was for the better, he told himself

and then he met fpk. in the palace, during one of the royal parties organized by the white lady. he heard about the king of hallownest, it would be difficult not to after all. so naturally, he got grimm's attention, though perhaps not the kind fpk expected. it didn't take long for grimm to find him at the palace balcony, away from the crowd, and only seeing him up close like that did he realize just how unimposing the king looked. but that didn't stop him from attempting to seduce him, as he fully expected fpk to be just like his wife and the other gods he met. but once again, he was taken by surprise. his attempts at sweet-talking were misunderstood, as fpk seemed to interpret them as concern, and opened up to share his frustrations. he expressed how much he did not want to go back to the party, that he felt much more comfortable up there on the balcony, and how he just wanted to return to his workshop and continue his project. then he apologized for taking grimm's time, and reluctantly returned to the party. grimm was surprised, to put it mildly, but he also sensed a similar loneliness in fpk that he himself experienced. judging by the way fpk talked about his life and his relationship, it seemed that, just like grimm, he didn't have anyone he could truly connect with and who would understand him. and against his better judgement, he started to feel the urge to change that, to be there for him. in short, the god of nightmares fell in love, right there on the balcony, after a failed attempt at getting in the king's pants. a wonderful start to their long-term relationship haha

i'm realizing that i probably repeated things i already mentioned before, but i thought bringing it up would paint a more complete picture of how i view grimm's personal struggles, and why he's so obsessed with fpk. he does have a good reason - meeting fpk was like a lightning in a bottle. he wasn't as distant and snobbish as the other gods, he was very human and approachable, and the passion in his voice whenever he talked about the things he loves was simply contagious. and most importantly, just like grimm, he wouldn't age. it gave grimm new hope and showed him that perhaps he could still experience love the way he wanted for so, so many years

and i think that makes fpk's hibernation a lot more tragic from grimm's perspective. he thought he lost his only chance at the life he wanted, all because he took things too slow. he never rushed his relationship with fpk, he didn't involve himself romantically until after fpk's separation with his wife, and even after that he allowed fpk to figure out his feelings at his own pace. in grimm's eyes, there was no need to rush things, quite the opposite, he figured that a relationship which built its foundation slowly over the years would be more meaningful, so he took his time. if he knew that the infection would return, and how things would go, he would confess his feelings sooner. but he didn't, and he blamed himself for it for all the years that fpk was gone. he entered the darkest period of his life, he lost all of his hope and became very distant towards others, hiding behind a mask of politeness that would crack the moment he was on his own. it only makes sense that he would drop everything the moment he reunited with fpk in dirtmouth, especially with how much of an insane coincidence it was. he would not lose him again, and would do everything to protect him and his family. he finally had something to care from, and through that, found meaning in his life

this is quite long and probably makes more sense in my head, but eh, whatever. i love thinking about them, no matter how cheesy their relationship may be, or how not very well-written it is (though it was never meant to be, i suppose). but i hope you enjoy reading this still

and really, thank you again for reaching out like this. i don't know who you are, but that's the charm of receiving anon asks. but know that i really appreciate this. and i hope you have an amazing day or night ❤

#ask stuff #feral pk au #save

29 notes · View notes

roostercrowned · 2 days

Text

Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing

tagged by @tragediegh! \o/ Favorite RotE book: I'm also gonna have to say Fool's Fate though Ass Quest is a close second Why: Listen I will never forget the shrimp emotions I experienced in that tent or during the resurrection, and the reveal/healing of Fitz's forging re-contextualizing all his previous choices. This book pulls no punches. I don't think I would have survived it if I had read it back in 2003 with no guarantee of Beloved surviving. And the ending was devastating but honestly, upon reflection I accept it--not as a "happy" ending but as Fitz maladaptively retreating to his past and being unable to follow through on the character growth that was happening for him up to that point. It is NOT a happy ending for Molly. Top three favorite characters: Amber, Lord Golden, and the Fool. Haha ok no, favorite supporting characters: Patience, Paragon, and Chade, with honorable mention to Jek and Rapskal Top Three Least Favorite Characters: uhhh Tats "Friendzone" Last Name, and Lant--he had me at "poor terrorized kid," lost me at "mean to Bee," started winning me back a little, then lost me again at "dating the 14 year old (implicitly as part of her casting off her gender nonconformity)." Everyone else I was pretty much cool with Favorite Ship (of the floating kind): I already said Paragon so it's gonna have to be Ophelia, she was such a bawdy aunt and she got to slap some bad guys (I don't even remember who it was now but the slapping was important) Top Three Favorite Ships (of the people kind): I'm not really into shipping as like a recreational activity, I feel like Robin Hobb already put in all the work for me on the one I care about. That said: PATIENCE AND LACEY. ...Actually I also really love that one text post about how Chade and Jek definitely hooked up and were total bros about it. I'll try to find it after I post this Would you rather be Witted or Skilled? Witted 100% If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with? A cormorant, and I would regress into full Gollum mode just eating raw fish and wallowing in the sea as god intended Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, The Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, The Pirate Isles, or the Fool's Homeland? Hard not to choose the one of these locations that's presented only as an idealized memory. With NO WINTERS (I grew up in California). Mountain Kingdom might be nice but they need to work on their ableism How were you introduced to the books? A friend with good taste mentioned finishing Farseer and being obsessed with it, and I was like "Hey I like vintage fantasy, would like to get back into reading more, and am laid up with a fucked up shoulder that's keeping me from drawing." and now here we are Share a quote you love: there are so many beautiful profound quotes about changing the world and unconditional love but @tragediegh had those covered so I am gonna go with the only balm for my soul in the aftermath of Fitz eavesdropping on Jek and Amber:

get his ass my mind blanks when it's time to tag people but uhhh @everywaythatmatters and @cicide76536 if you haven't been tagged yet!

#tag game #realm of the elderlings #rote spoilers #tawny man spoilers #fitz and the fool spoilers #book quotes

16 notes · View notes

rahleeyah · 11 months

Note

Okay, maybe I am dumb or something but did Liv downplay her injury in the urgent care scene for the sake of Elliot's feelings? I'm asking because I saw a tweet that suggested that. Basically, once again a woman puts her feelings aside for the sake of a man's feelings according to this person.

I see it more as her being an empath and always feeling others pain more than others. Basically, El's pain is her pain.

I never would have thought of that, and considering the evidence of the scene itself I don't think that's what happened, but I do think that some people want to believe that Liv is a victim, particularly where Elliot is concerned, so badly that they will view of all her interactions thru that lens.

Liv's injury actually isn't that bad. Like when you hear someone got shot you think bullet thru flesh and tearing up their insides and damaging bones and ligaments and organs and while Liv was very much hurt, that is not what happened to her. The pellets weren't embedded that deep, she didn't need to be sedated for their removal, it was not surgery in the traditional sense. There likely will not be any permanent muscle damage; there will be no PT. she has to take it easy for two weeks while it heals. She's in some pain, but she has certainly had worse.

She doesn't downplay her feelings for the sake of Elliot's emotions; Elliot enters the room smiling and asks how she's feeling. He doesn't rush in all concerned in the midst of PTSD episode; he is smiling, and asking about her. And Liv never, ever, ever says to anyone that she's hurt. She simply won't do it. It's not about protecting Elliot; this is a function of who Liv is as a person and the theory that she does that in an attempt to put other people's feelings above her own ignores why that's a part of Liv's character. She doesn't do it bc she's so selfless; she does it bc she doesn't want to be seen as weak, bc she doesn't let people in, bc it's a habit. Her making the choice not to say "it stings like a son of a bitch" isn't her putting Elliot first; it's what she always does.

But she does tell him it hurts. In her own way, in that tough, cop-machismo way that is the only way she and the people like her will express pain and is a way that Elliot knows how to interpret, she tells him she's hurt, and asks for help, which he willingly offers. When she tells him she won't be sitting for a while he knows that means it hurts. He understands what she's saying. His emotions do not enter the conversation until they're standing, you can see her face change when she recognizes he's feeling big feelings. She didn't think he was before - you know, before, when she had an opportunity to say "it hurts" and chose not to - and it's only once they're standing that she asks what's wrong.

And it would take a particularly heartless, narcissistic person to look at their best friend, whose wife was blown up right in front of him, who has just had to deal with his best friend being shot right in front of him, and not ask if he's ok and not acknowledge his feelings. Is he not also allowed to feel things? Is only one of them allowed to need comfort at a time? Her ass stings but she feels emotionally steady; he is physically unhurt but has just experienced a significantly triggering emotional event. Do they not comfort each other in the ways they each need in that moment, him by physically supporting her and her by emotionally supporting him?

And it's worth noting, too, that Olivia herself draws the connection to Kathy out loud; Olivia acknowledges out loud that losing her would be akin to losing his wife, as @thisismehappy has pointed out. That's huge!!! That's Olivia recognizing how much he values her!!

Anyway. It's been said before. We are all watching different shows.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

59 notes · View notes

whorbidmore · 18 days

Text

hey!! this isn't the full fanfic im planning on releasing, but more of a little tester to how easily writing comes to me if that makes sense? i wrote this all in one sitting with zero proof reading so, if there's parts that make no sense/etc., that's why. it started off as another little blurb but then i got a little carried away :3

i wrote this with a pre-top trans masculine reader insert in mind, but kept descriptions relatively neutral since this is more of a focus of a pre-established relationship through the emotional lens of Leon. how he views his partner, what he does to comfort them, etc. though i do attempt to illustrate how oppressive gender dysphoria can be at points. of course not all trans people experience dysphoria, and especially not to the degree I've written, and this should be in no way used as a cover-all essay on trans masculine identity. though im drawing from the experience of some of my most dysphoric thoughts.

also i accidentally posted this a day early so, just know this piece of crap was finished 10/04/24 (today, as of official posting)

Leon Kennedy × Trans Masculine!Reader

content warnings: discussions of gender dysphoria, internalized transmisogyny experienced through an implied trans masculine lens, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, smut, Leon being a sweetheart, not proof read or edited, im actually just shitting this out to satiate the need to write. 18+ content, minors/ageless blogs/TERF/RADFEM's dni.

leon would always be there for his partner when they're feeling dysphoric. he's not the most experienced wordsmith when it comes to assuring them in this way, but reassurance through action can be just as comforting.

on those days where simply telling his partner that he sees them as the person they are, — that behind their body, there's no doubt in his mind that his partner is who they say, and who they feel they are, — isn't enough, he offers solace through action. most often, that means scooping his partner into his arms and holding them, letting them burrow against him, seeking the warmth of his presence away from the harsh glare of gender dysphoria. other times, leon takes matters into his own hands.

times where the level of their dysphoria is all encompassing, looming over them with an oppressive shadowy aura of visceral discomfort, extending beyond their minds view of their body. when dysphoria halts them from completing daily tasks they'd otherwise had no problem in doing. the odd occasion where, if the issue were to be personified, it'd take the form of a sexist, bitter and bigoted old man, waving his cane over their head and grumbling about how 'real men don't do these things' or 'if you were a real man, you wouldn't do this', 'act like this', 'think like this', be like this. eyes darkened and expression hollow, a loose, dissociated grip of the kitchen brush as dysphoria pecks away at their brain like a woodpecker of internalized transmisogyny, Leon steps up to help.

snaking his arms around his partners waist, a tender kiss against their temple as he loosely guides their hands with his own as he washes the dishes. his partner never doubted his own masculinity throughout their relationship, he knows that won't change watching him do the archaically 'female job' of washing dishes.

a display of emphasis, quietly reminding his partner that it's not the actions that make the man. it's the connection between yourself and the identifier of the title. showing that no amount of dish soap, pink button up shirts or anything frilly, prissy or societally deemed 'girly thing's would take away the man Leon knows he is.

Or the person he knows his partner is.

those small, wordless conformations to ground his partners mind back to the reality of those dysphoric thoughts, being just that. thoughts. thoughts that have no place in the world around them. thoughts of a far outdated view of what is manly and what isn't. outdated views that barely apply to cisgender men, let alone people like his partner.

other times leon let's his actions speak the comfort his words try to convey, is when he takes the time to appreciate his partners body.

it's well acknowledged that leon isn't simply the type to be in love, but more openly infatuated with his partner, especially behind closed doors. he wakes up early every morning just to admire his partners sleeping face, the beat of his heart harmonizing a rhythm of raw affection, even as his partner snores with an open, drooling mouth. their face is nothing less than the image of perfection in his mind. every lash on their eyes and healing acne scar, only captivate him further into the safety of their presence. as he does for them. not only does leon worship who his partner is as a human being, he would never withhold himself from worshipping the alter of their form. mind, body and spirit, in leons mind his partner deserves to be worshiped. and when it gets in their head that their mind and soul had been sent down to the incorrect vessel; — a mix up in their otherworldly journey, — how could he ever ignore that?

barely a second thought in his mind, leon would be laying kiss upon heated kiss to his partners lips, fingers tilting their chin to meet him at just the right angle. always beginning so tenderly, words whispered breathlessly as he showers them in praise. voice low against their lips, occasional mumbles of, "...So good...", "...God, you're amazing...", tied together with the prayer of their name, profanities hissed between Leon's teeth.

he tries his best to selfless, especially with his partner, but when he could be sent away from them for weeks at a time, how could he refuse to indulge.

his hands roam along every inch of his partners body, memorizing every dip, curve, swell and crevice. a man who craves every detail of their being. hands so familiar with weaponry and gore, now splayed across the dip in his partners waist, their bodies pressed close together, huffs of adoration caressing the skin of their neck as the muscles in their stomach tense.

it doesn't matter size or shape of his partners chest, whether untouched by the surgical precision of the scalpel or flattened, molded to the shape of their very essence, scars like the thorns of a rose. his rose; bold and beautiful, standing tall and proud against the shroud of spikes and vines that caged them in others perceptions. it doesn't matter the presentation of the flesh when attached to the person he'd give his life for. just as much a man when building Ikea furniture, as they are sitting on the couch in a blanket.

as manly as ever dripping with perspiration returning home from a walk, as they are with Leon's face between their legs. tongue savoring the taste as he tunes into every little motion and noise being offered from his partners lips, a deep chuckle bubbling in his throat at their response to his own lips wrapping around their sensitive clit. god, he could stay like this for the rest of his life. fingers in his hair as he feasts on the love of his partners body, groaning in pleasure with every pulse of their pussy beckoning his tongue further.

keying in to every signal, he only loses himself further the closed his partner is to orgasm, to invested in the task at hand to give a shit about his aching jaw. mumbling the tiniest phrases of affirmation as he hoists their thighs over his shoulder, so carried away their body ends up folded against itself atop their mattress. telling them how fucking gorgeous they are, especially with their face all scrunched up, breaths laboured as they cry out in ecstasy.

resting his head against their inner thigh, hand stroking the dull ache in his jaw, he'd stay in that same spot until his partner catches their breath, nothing short of admiration in his gaze as he stares past the mess he'd made of them.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy fanfic #resident evil smut #18+ mdni #smut #trans masc reader #reader insert #x reader #ftm reader #fangsfic #listen this is not actually meant to be a fully fledged fic if that makes sense??#like this isnt what people voted for its more of a warmup to get me invested in actually writing fanfics #ive only ever made a couple fanfics that i kept to myself so this js a biiiiiig step for me :>#im v aware that this is quite shit but whtvr! i wrote!

9 notes · View notes