#but I wanna do my own thing this year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.

#but I wanna do my own thing this year

quickhacked · 4 months

Text

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays

#cp2077 #edit:mikhail #edit:vitali #nuclearocs #nuclearedits #happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing #whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier #you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly #but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined #they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again #and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you #and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain #sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day #and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest #night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big #and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like #how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole #anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out

89 notes · View notes

nyehilismwriting · 3 months

Note

helloooo! i've been following your writing/coding journey since the early days of sentinel and it's been so nice watching your story-telling blossom into a masterpiece. i love project hadea a lot and the characters are all so compelling i always have trouble choosing who to romance (rohan refuses to kiss me lmao). forgive me if you've been asked this question a million times already, but i was wondering what are some of your literary inspirations? what sort of writing shaped your style? it's one that i wish i could achieve one day tbh!!

WAH this is so kind of you 🥺

i'm sure i've spoke before about some of my inspirations but i am always happy to do it again:)

my writing style tends to go through phases- i feel like i write hadea slightly differently to some of my other projects, particularly the shorter ones. often, when I'm going for something poetic, i can't maintain that for as long, or i feel like it gets effortful; some authors seem able to maintain a really lovely style for long-form works. i'd say max gladstone (and there's no way you've followed me this long without seeing me talk about him before lmfao), julia armfield (who wrote our wives under the sea), louise erdrich (the painted drum, the antelope wife) are all authors whose prose particularly sticks out to me as something i'd like to emulate.

i'll also have to shout out adrian tchaikovsky and peter watts as scifi authors who manage to maintain a very effortless, easy to read style while writing hard scifi; it's not easy to do, but they pull it off, often with clarity and humour i really admire. and their work is not without poetry! i also really like adrian tchaikovsky's tendency to skew sharply into and out of horror: he's got such a knack for atmosphere and tone, something that really stands out to me whenever i read his work.

i'm trying to read more nonfiction/autobiography type stuff, as well: i recently finished billy-ray belcourt's 'a history of my brief body', and in the summer i read ocean vuong's 'on earth we're briefly gorgeous' (which is fiction, but in a similar vein); I'm hoping to read more joan didion this year, as well. i think reading stuff like this is a good way to develop both empathy and also an interesting study in tackling highly personal emotional stuff, and in a lot of cases i do feel i can learn a lot from the prose of these works.

i also read quite a bit of poetry, in itself, which i think helps; i like my writing to have a rhythm to it, and i tend to find that reading poetry helps a lot with that.

finally, as i think i've mentioned before, i love the magnus archives and the writing in that: i think that writing stuff that's meant to be read out loud/performed is a really interesting exercise, even if that's not the final goal, and it really helps to develop a sense of rhythm for your prose.

#i try to read as widely as i can #obviously i have favourite genres. i'm a scifi bitch at heart #but i do tend to chameleon my writing style after the last thing i read #so it can be quite variable #and i'm not as vigilant as i could be about reading back my own writing #i also wanna get into more surreal fiction. i need to read house of leaves sooooo badly #if u want specific recs i can do that but i've listed a bunch of authors i've read in the last year i find inspiring:)#hope this answers your question a little bit!#therosejamjournal #thank you for asking<33 and for saying nice things to me MWAH

51 notes · View notes

whispers-of-masser · 11 months

Text

Dragon's Tongue

✧ Nebarra x human!LDB, ft. Xelzaz & Khash ✧ Fluff, minor angst; 1300+ words ♫ "You And I (Stripped)" - PVRIS ✒ Something short n sweet today, I'm feeling soft

Nebarra was loath to admit it to himself, and he'd die before ever saying it aloud, but the Rift really was beautiful. Nothing compared to Alinor, to be sure, but... all the gold reminded him of home. And when he passed by a small, isolated farm, he could almost see himself on its porch, see his brother leaning against the door.

The illusions were younger, happier versions of themselves. So much more innocent, faces bright with naivety, eyes shining with plans for the future.

And then he'd gone to war.

He'd lost... so much of himself, in the deserts of Hammerfell. They had scorched and burned him inside and out, slowly bleeding him dry with every comrade he saw fall. And all that, for what? For all the Altmer's supposed superiority, the campaign had failed on all fronts – Hammerfell's walls and people defied them, and Cyrodiil remained in power, weakened but still unbroken.

How could the Thalmor still strut about, arrogant to Aetherius and back, when they had failed so miserably? How could they look at the faces of the families whose children and lovers they'd sent to die and only tell them they'd "served their purpose"?

Nebarra couldn't.

He couldn't face them at all. Not even through pen and paper, leagues away from ever having to look them in the eyes, ever having to see the pain and loss in their gaze.

Where the Thalmor were heartless, he was a coward.

And he didn't know which was worse.

~~~

Night fell, and you called the group to halt, to make camp until dawn. Nebarra set up the tent as you argued with Xelzaz, trying to convince him that no, he shouldn't summon a flame atronach and then kill it for its fire salts, no matter how good it would make dinner taste. Khash merely looked on, muching on some clover she'd picked up somewhere.

At last though, you got Xelzaz to relent, though he asked you to gather some herbs in exchange, listing off the plants he wanted you to find.

"Ah... and take Nebarra with you."

The elf froze. Turned slowly towards the lizard. Demanded, "What? Why?"

"Two eyes are better than one," he shrugged, "and that much safer, as well. We don't know what's out there, and I'm pretty sure we passed a necromantic altar on our way here."

At that, you groaned, head rolling back like a teenager who'd just been told to do their chores. "Gods, not another one. Why do we always seem to run into those?"

"Luck of the Dragonborn? Anyway, off with you now – I have to get set up. Let's see, in whose pack did I leave my cooking pot...? Khash! Come help me with this!"

And just like that he walked off, leaving you and Nebarra alone by the campfire. A chuckle escaped you, and he glanced over to see you shaking your head. "I'm surprised he didn't tell us to hold hands, too, so we don't lose each other in the dark."

"Yeah, I'm not holding your hand," Nebarra snarked. And it was true. Absolutely true. Totally, one-hundred percent true.

"Oh wow, Nebs, that one almost hurt." Your soft laugh seemed to echo in his ears, his mind. "Come on, let's go – I don't suppose you heard any of the plants he wants?"

Blue and yellow mountain flowers, to restore and fortify. Purple for rejuvenation, and to give to Khash. Scaly pholiota for fiber and strengthening. Wild gourds and dragon's togue for flavour.

He snorted from behind his helm. "That would require paying attention to him."

"Should have known," you sighed. "Alright, listen up before I forget: blue, yellow, and purple mountain flowers, scaly pholiota, and dragon's tongue. And be careful with the purple mountain flowers, they're gifts for Khash. Oh, he also wants some wild gourds. Got it?"

"...Yeah, yeah. Let's just get going."

He definitely hadn't feigned ignorance just to hear your voice some more. Definitely not.

~~~

"Ah, back at last! Perfect," Xelzaz said, stirring something in a pot over the fire. "Now I can get the real meal started."

"Then what's this?" Nebarra demanded as Xelzaz handed him a bowl, in exchange for the plants the Altmer carried. Even through his gauntlets he could feel its warmth, and a rich, savory scent drifted up through the slits of his helmet.

"Something amazing, from the smell," you sighed, and Nebarra didn't have to look to know you were drooling.

"Just a little sometime to hold you over," the Argonian demurred, handing you a bowl as well. "Thought I'd experiment with some of the flora I've gathered thus far."

That gave Nebarra pause. "Wait – experiment? That's settled, I'm not eating this."

"If you don't want it–"

Your words were drowned out by Khash's eager shout of, "I'll eat it! I'll take your bowl!" She rushed over to him, red eyes trained on the food.

"Khash, you had your share," Xelzaz chided. "Any more and you won't have room for the rest of dinner."

"Yes, I will! I have room for anything you make."

"She's got a point," you laughed, and Nebarra slowly, wordlessly handed her the bowl.

"I'll go keep watch," he grumbled, turning away.

"Oh, don't be like that! Nebarra!" When he didn't respond, you sighed, calling after him, "Alright, go sulk! I'll make sure Xelzaz doesn't poison your share, though you kind of deserve it!"

His back still towards you, Nebarra raised his hand in a rude gesture, and your laughter rang through the night.

Some thirty minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching; he didn't need to turn to know it was you. Your tread was distinct from the others, weighted with determination and confidence, whereas Xelzaz's was soft and steady, and Khash's light and hesitant.

"Here. Eat." Despite the short words, your tone was gentle, and Nebarra looked over to see you holding a plate out towards him, laden with a slab of meat and wild berries to the side. "It's delicious, and unpoisoned."

"How would you know?" he sniffed, catching a whiff of the food in the process. It... did smell amazing. "Did you try it?"

"I did, actually. Stole some of your steak when Xelzaz wasn't looking. And since I'm still standing here pestering you, I guess that means it's clean."

Nebarra paused, eyes training on your face. Half of it was wreathed in shadow, only the gleam of your eyes visible; the other half was illuminated by the campfire, revealing the soft smile you wore.

You... had a nice smile.

And before he could stop himself, he mumbled, "You're not... pestering me."

Surprise flickered in your gaze – surprise, and something else. Something he told himself he didn't recognise, refused to recognise.

After a moment, you said softly, "That's... good to hear, then. Because I have something else for you, too." Reaching down with your free hand, you pulled something from your belt and held it out before him. "I saved one, 'cause it reminded me of you."

Nebarra stared. There, held gently between your fingers, was a dragon's tongue flower, petals open wide and colours vibrant in full bloom. "This... reminded you of me?"

"It's gold. Just like you."

"...You really do have trouble with your eyesight, don't you? These are orange."

"Eh, close enough." You shrugged, the smile never leaving your face.

Slowly, Nebarra reached out and, ignoring the plate of food, took the flower carefully, delicately from your grasp, cradling it in his palm. "...Am I supposed to say thank you?"

"You just did." As he raised a brow from the shadows of his helm, you set the plate on a nearby rock and tapped the gauntlet that held the flower. "You accepted it."

He couldn't deny it. "Think you got me all figured out then, huh?"

Something in your smile shifted, your gaze flickering. "No. Not yet, anyways. But... I think I'd like to." And with that, you turned on your heel and walked away, leaving him alone in the dark, stunned.

And that night, as he sat in the shadows of the campfire, he stared at the flower for a long, long time.

#nebarra #nebarra skyrim #skyrim nebarra #skyrim #tes 5 #whisper writes #finally wrote that thing from my tags ages ago #and by ages i mean like a week lmaoo #also i now officially have the headcanon now that khash likes to munch on clovers and i don't know what to do with this thought #anyway in other news im so tired?? like for some reason writing Just Tonight REALLY drained me #i dont know how to describe it other than the fact that writing it felt like.... it took something from me?#idk man maybe i just burnt myself out a little; i haven't written so much and been so intent about it in actual years #tragically im not even happy about how it turned out but tbfh when is an artists ever satisfied with their own work??? neverrrr #im so tired man lol #i wanna keep working on the second part of just tonight and I have ideas for it but i just.... cannot right now lol #anyway off to play more skyrim and hopefully recharge #starting an altmer mage/college of winterhold playthough with only altmer followers #so that means im grabbing nebs; caryalind; taliesin; rumarin; idrinth; and eventually Telmiltarion since I downloaded summerset isle too #he has a standalone verison that doesnt require the full mod but #figured i'd play through the whole thing at least once since it ties into the cow story anyways #help why does “college of winterhold” abbreviate to fuckin COW I just noticed😭#anywho... ive never actually played with tel or idrinth before so im actually a little nervous; i hope i like them lol #wanted to try daegon too but then i saw she was pulled for updates and was like nuuuuu #might see about posting a screenie once i've got the whole crew together #anyway im off to go play for reals this time lol bye

47 notes · View notes

anto-pops · 11 months

Note

Did you see “the list” that’s been going around on TT about hogwarts legacy creators and smut pretty much? were you on it at all or are you safe to write another day lol

I saw it, I wasn’t on it, but even if I had been I don’t care what some random on tiktok thinks about me.

I got a few asks about the whole situation and I’m not trying to burst my little bubble of peace here but I will say this: it is your own responsibility to cultivate an online experience for yourself that you’re comfortable with, no one else’s. If that means blacklisting tags, unfollowing/blocking people, or better yet getting off the computer and taking a break, then so be it.

The only thing us content creators can do is tag our stuff to the best of our abilities and put warnings on the things we post, which most of us here already do. Instigating hatred and animosity towards people who literally haven’t done anything to you personally is never okay, and I’m so so sorry to the ones who are receiving any unwarranted cruelty from randoms. Keep your heads up and remember that this too shall pass 💕🫶🏻

#asks #I’m convinced a lot of these people starting discourse have never been in a fandom space before #these opinions have always existed and will always exist and I am selfishly choosing to stay out of it for my own wellbeing #I already lived through the hellscape that came with writing ereri for AoT years ago #fortunately I haven’t had any mean messages but the day I start getting them is the day I turn off anons and keep on keeping on #I hope everyone is doing well despite the drama I love you all and wish you guys the best <3 #also this is the only thing I’ll say about it I don’t wanna clog my blog up with extra drama/hatred/whatever else

43 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

eisaac-h

uuya146

제목 없음

vig8rist

vaurien

crosses burn our temples