#but also you don't have to stop creating whenever you don't have to motivation to do so

[carterthefrog]

idk who needs to hear this but if you knit or crochet you do not need to stress about it all of the time. that defeats the purpose of having a hobby. yes sometimes i do projects that require learning new stitches and making several runs to the craft store and searching for a specific brand of yarn and counting stitches and recounting stitches. but i also have a blanket that i call my "idgaf blanket" and it's literally just a giant gloriously repetitive chain stitch blanket made of a conglomeration of whatever yarn i happen to have scraps of. my rules are no undoing for dropped stitches, no overthinking color patterns. for just this one project, i simply crochet it because i like the feeling of crocheting. sometimes i just need to work on my idgaf blanket and that's okay and when it's done i'm sure i'll appreciate it a lot more simply because it never gave me anxiety

#crochet #crocheting #knitting #fiber crafts #i crochet but im sure that the spirit of the idgaf blanket can be applied to any hobby #yes you should challenge yourself and make beautiful art you can take pride in #but also you don't have to stop creating whenever you don't have to motivation to do so #don't be afraid to have an idgaf blanket #fiber arts #crafts #art

[joonsytip]

Withering for You || Seungcheol - Epilogue

Pairings: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! Seungcheol au, Husband! Seungcheol au, Wife! Reader au, Music Teacher! Reader au, Arranged Marriage au, College Sweetheart au, Exes to Lovers au

Synopsis: When you are arranged married to the man, whose heart you had broken years ago, even dreaming about mending things seems next to impossible when he has been holding grudge for all these only to return it to you tenfold.

Warnings (specific to this part): tears, profanities, everyone is hurt and sad, mention of alcohol consumption, lovesickness, healing, friendly threats, suggestive

Word Count: 5.7k

Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue

You're enjoying the peace and calmness that moving to a different country has brought within. It has been half a year since your divorce with Seungcheol had been settled, been four months of you making a decision seemingly best for you by moving out.

Both you and Seungkwan had wanted to open several branches of your academy all around the world because you both believed that music transcends barriers and connects souls.

Though your motive while shifting was a break from everything but it also resoluted to build another branch rooted to Melodease.

You are busy nowadays, given you've to overlook the purchase and legal matters, start taking care of the design, contract and staffing. Seungkwan has offered to come over and share the workload but you're always the one to brush it off. Because keeping yourself busy is the only way to not overthink about that one person whom you wanted to spend the rest of life but apparently it was too much of an ask.

The divorce, you had tried everything to withdraw it but you should have known, it was Seungcheol who wanted for it to happen at any cost. So eventually you succumbed to his stubbornness. He wasn't even willing to face you, making it impossible for you to reach out to him so you couldn't quite recollect when was the last time you saw him. All you could remember is he never again made an eye contact with you, since he left your house that fateful night.

A rift has been created between you and your friends. You were so mad at all of them for making Seungcheol aware of the bitter past that you've been hiding. They got earfuls from you whenever they breathed in your direction. You had stopped humouring them, even going as far as to inform them about your departure just two days before. A huge fuss was caused by Mingyu and Eunsoo while Seungkwan and Wonwoo blamed themselves quietly.

When Wonwoo had arrived at your doorstep the night before your departure to apologise and ask you to reconsider your decision, you in turn had assigned him a task which you couldn't do yourself.

Your parents visit you from time to time and it's your brother who crashes at your place the most because though everyone hesitates, he's the only one who doesn't lend an ear to your protests.

"It's been half a year, don't you think you should let loose and forgive those four.", Chan voices out distressed as he once again sees the string of texts and voice messages he received in the group chat he was suddenly added to one day just so your friends could get updates of you.

"You don't understand Chan. It was not their decision to make. You don't think I could have told Seungcheol if I wanted to?", you sit down frowning, "We did end up getting divorced after all. And even though I'd have dealt with my career, I don't know how he is doing on his own because now he would neither even confide in his family and nor he has many friends. It has become a fight against his family, against the people he cherished the most."

Chan understands your friends but most importantly he understands you, he nods and sighs, "There's something I haven't told you."

"Did Seungcheol come and apologize to you, mom and dad after I left?", you say giving a small smile.

Chan is flabbergasted, "How did you know?"

"I just guessed. I knew he'd come someday, it's only after I left. Wish I could have just gotten a glimpse of him before coming here. Why do I miss him?", you say suddenly fanning your face and look up trying to blink away the tears. Chan observes you silently.

Your heart still beats for Seungcheol.

Seungcheol rubs the wedding band which sits on his finger, lost in thoughts he then proceeds to caress the other wedding band the one he wears in a chain, which is also yours.

In the last few months, he solely focused on destroying Jiah. He went on to dig her past and accumulate every malicious deed, hurtful comments or poor gestures done by her throughout her life including all her flings. If it would have been earlier he would have had a hard time believing it all but not anymore. After gathering every possible bit, he made his PR team to work overtime to destroy her image. Each day new articles would resurface by random journalists on several platforms.

"I'm sorry, Cheol", Jiah cries at his feet, hands clasped, begging, "Please please just stop, I'm ruined."

Seungcheol laughs completely apathetic, "This has just begun. I'll bring you on the streets. I make you cry tears of blood."

Jiah looks him at horrified, "I'm begging you, we are best friends Cheol--"

Seungcheol burns at her words, "Since you showed me how best of a friend you are, it's my turn to show how great I can be. I won't stop until you dread hearing my name, until you regret what you've done. Hell, you've just heard of it, I'll make you live in it."

"I'll do anything you want, I'll apologise to Y/N please spare me.", Jiah continues to beg.

"Don't you dare utter her name with your filthy mouth. For the tears you made her cry, I'll make you cry tenfold. If you think there's gonna be an end to it, no, you'd suffer till your consciousness stays with you."

Then he makes the security drag her out of the building, onto the road.

Using her now completely ruined image, he pulled all cards to ruin off her father's company. Though he felt bad for her parents but they should have raised their daughter well and since they didn't it fell on their plate as well. That's what he had said to her father when he had the business go bankrupt.

Seungcheol doesn't stop here, he's still finding ways to put Jiah behind the bars, and if concrete proof doesn't knock on his door, he has his mind set on creating a whole new room of miseries for his said best friend.

But nothing he does gives him a sense of fulfillment. He's empty, heartbroken and a looser in love. Every time he remembers the way he had treated you, the schemes he had plotted against you, the venomous words he had said to you and the hatred he harboured towards you, they make him wanna disappear from the face of earth.

His parents don't get to see him, there's no monthly family dinner at the Choi's anymore.

Seungcheol who wanted to have you as his in all of the lifetimes, doesn't dare to make such a wish anymore. He has failed you, so he accepts the fact that you deserve the best. Someone who's not him. Someone who gives you all the smiles and none of the tears.

The wedding gown which you left untouched in his closet when you had moved out, Seungcheol walks in every night just to hold the garment. He imagines you in it and hugs it to his chest pouring his heart out. Each night  the empty house echoes his cries. The composition you had gifted him on his birthday, he plays it everyday while reminiscing the times he has got to spend with you.

His heart only beats for you.

"You are in love with your ex husband who's in love with you as well? I still don't get why you both are divorced."

You roll your eyes and walk past Jihoon who doesn't bother to follow behind because you'd be able to hear him anyways.

"Make it make sense, from what I heard...", his brows quirk up and nods at himself, "The bigshot Choi Seungcheol is being unnecessarily dramatic when you both can now live happily ever after."

You throw him a glare, "Don't you dare call him dramatic. He's in a rough spot and going through hell. But since he's stubborn and won't listen to anyone, we'll both keep wallowing in pity."

Jihoon gives you a look, "At least you're sensible. Anyways, you'd always see a DND board on my cabin's door. So please don't hesitate to get lost and not show your face to me."

You're neither surprised nor disappointed.

Lee Jihoon is a prodigal producer who's renowned around the world for his compositions. He can play every instrument in and out (claimed by people) specialising in Violin. You and Seungkwan had been eyeing him since long for managing your academy and it took you a lot of effort and determination to be able to rope him in. The man is always snappy and unfiltered. He knows he ain't people pleaser thus, he likes his space and doesn't allow interference. You just have to trust and leave the rest up to him and it'll be all taken care of.

Surprisingly, he knew you as well and though he would never admit, you're guessing the only reason he agreed to manage the new branch because as an artist he felt violated with your supposed plagiarism case. That he empathizes with you.

You don't usually go around sharing your personal life with everyone but with Jihoon it came in candid. Gradually, he came to know about you and you about him. The man is a feline who can differentiate good from bad. So after pulling many late nights and over many drinks, you both have become comfortable with each other. So comfortable that he treats you as his errand woman and every time you dare to protest he threatens to breach the contract because as he brags he has money. That annoying mf--

Jihoon knows he shouldn't be nosy but also he couldn't turn a blind eye to how you cry every time you get wasted. How whenever you bring up your husband there's an abyss of longing in your eyes. Though you're diligent and pushing yourself hard, your mind always reels back to him.

"It's your birthday next week, what do you want?", Jihoon asks and tuts instantly, "Except for Seungcheol, I can't give you him."

"Nothing.", you state blatantly, "Just stay with the academy."

"Nevermind, trying to give you Seungcheol sounds easier.", Jihoon jokes and the cushion he receives on his face isn't uncalled for.

Nobody is as distressed as Mingyu. He hasn't seen you in months, you don't talk to him like before. He feels guilty. He shouldn't have involved himself in your matters when he knew why you tried so hard to cover the truth. He regrets urging Eunsoo to confess to Wonwoo because even though she presses that she's fine and masters at hiding her feelings whenever in the same room as Wonwoo, he knows she isn't exactly doing well. It's been quite a time and neither you nor Eunsoo are doing well. Not like Wonwoo or Seungcheol are doing any better.

So he thinks it's only the doable, he needs to take the matters into his hands, if not alone atleast with Chan and Seungkwan. It might try to fix things one last time, with no expectations, no agendas of his own.

When Chan asked Mingyu to accompany him somewhere, he found it odd but agreed nonetheless.

His face changes when he finds himself infront of Seungcheol's house.

"If you see any tendencies of violence in my speech or body language just hold me back. I don't wanna beat Seungcheol but actually I do wanna beat him.", Chan says as they enter the house.

Mingyu is already breaking in cold sweat and the only accountable relief is Wonwoo's presence. When they see Seungcheol, both Chan and Mingyu are shocked at his state. He looks sick and tired.

"Are you okay?", Mingyu asks and Seungcheol nods. That's when his eyes falls behind and he sees the large wedding picture frame hung on the wall. His eyes linger further and he sees how on every wall there are pictures of you, or you and him.

Chan witnesses that Seungcheol's doing as bad as you, maybe worse. Seungcheol has not been able to meet his eyes since he knew about the past like now, his eyes are down in shame.

"Look at me", Chan says calmly, "You don't have to be ashamed of something you have never taken part in."

"But my father did.", Seungcheol whispers, "I can't forgive myself about how I treated you all and her when all you did was protect me."

"You are not doing fine neither she is.", Mingyu adds, "What's the point of seperation when you both love each other?"

"She cries everyday because of you. Regrets wanting to be selfish and marry you because you're suffering. She blames herself for everything to the point that she isolated herself from her family, friends and her academy. She's alone off to a faraway place where if an emergency occurs the fastest we can get to her would be after a 10 hour journey.", Chan doesn't usually breaks but his voice cracks, "It's so hard to see her being hard on herself. The breakup in the past must have been hard on you, but for her it was worst. I shouldn't be disclosing this but it took her a lot of therapy sessions to get out of depression. It was arduous for all of us because as you know she's the life of our family, the academy and her friends circle."

Seungcheol listens to your brother wide, teary eyed. He feels as if he's in a whirlwind.

"When I don't have any grudge against you, Y/N wants to be with you the why are you making all of our lives miserable?", Chan speaks with frustration, "You still have chamce to make things right. Don't choose to be a victim to the circumstances once again and let the love of your life go. You both have defied the odds and been together so why complicate things when there could be happily ever after waiting for you both."

"Do I deserve--"

Seungcheol haults in track, scared when he sees Mingyu seething and fisting his hands.

"Stop being a crybaby and own up. You caused a lot of damage to Y/N and you should make it up to her.", Mingyu says through his gritted teeth, "Stop trying to run away. That woman has been suffering for years just because of your family and you. She's a saint for being so understanding and patient, always putting everyone above herself. Though she'd never admit, we all know that she went away just not to be a bother for anyone, specially you. I'll beat you to a pulp if you suck up one more time. Fucking coward!"

Tables turned, now it's Chan and Wonwoo who are holding Mingyu back because Mingyu himself has the patience of Saint so when he gets worked up, things get out of control.

In the midst of all this, Mingyu throws a glare at Wonwoo as well and that's when the later unhands him and steps back.

"Do you lack common sense? What's the point of hanging her pictures and playing her compositions when after all this, she's waiting with her hands open but you won't go.", Mingyu keeps on scolding, "Why do we have to come and speak sense into your mind when you're an adult with much developed brain, developed enough to plot things to ruin someone's career?"

Six pairs of wide eyes falls on Mingyu. Seungcheol thinks hell has come in form of the buff guy infront of him. Chan thinks it's so cool of the same buff guy. Wonwoo thinks in near future he'll be facing the same fate as Seungcheol's facing today.

When Chan and Mingyu leave, Wonwoo stays behind. He quietly places a box on the table.

Before Seungcheol could enquire, he answers, "Y/N had requested me to give you this box on her birthday. Though I don't know what it contains but I do have a feeling that there won't be any more appropriate time to hand this over. I should have given it to you earlier."

After Wonwoo leaves, Seungcheol exhales sharply as his hands gently caress the box and carefully opens it.

There's a letter that sits atop. He opens the thread tied around it and starts reading.

Hey Cherry,

I couldn't help but call you that, sorry if it made you uncomfortable. If you're reading this, then it's probably my birthday today. I'll make my birthday wishes later but here's a return gift for you. This box is an ode to you, to commemorate your love because enough we didn't get our happy ending, I could live the rest of my life reminiscing the moments we spent, the love we shared together.

Now let me show you what our love meant through my eyes. There should be a sweater inside the box, take that out.

Seungcheol immediately takes out the red crochet sweater and traces over the garment and the wordings on it. He then goes back reading the letter.

Remember when we were dating, I had grown an interest on crocheting and took classes. I had woven this sweater for you. It says "Mon Amour", which means my love in French another outcome of the music lessons I was taking from the French teacher. Never got a chance to give you this and now that you've grown big muscles, it won't fit you. You can give it or throw it.

Now you'd see a pile of vinyls. Since you've always encouraged me to pursue my passion, you became the source of my inspiration. There are 26 vinyls and each of those compositions were inspired by you. Some were composed when we were dating, some after our breakup, throughout the span of seven years and some while we were still married. I thought of returning these to their owner in true sense. These came straight out of my vault. You can keep them or burn all of them.

Seungcheol takes out the vinyls and rearranges all of them in the order of the dates written on them. He notices each Vinyl cover had a colour of it's own and each one was addressed to his name in your handwriting.

You've always loved Tulips. Remember each time I bought you those, how you'd end up getting sad because they'd wilt? So I gathered every colour I could and preserved it for you. There's a flap in which I've kept the Tulips. Don't get sad anymore, they'll stay with you now.

The rest are random things I had brought on whim either because I thought you'd like them or it reminded me of you and they may not make any sense to you.

Seungcheol notices the spilled ink in many places, blurring the words, as the letter reaches it's end because of the tears those fell down while you wrote the letter.

Nostalgic isn't it? So now that we're closing in, I'd like to say a few things to you. I don't blame you for happened in the past, nor does my family. As things turned out, we didn't end up together. But I don't want you to become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere. Let's not be that (only if you're comfortable enough to acknowledge me if we ever cross paths again).

As I said, even though it's my birthday I'll make a wish for you, make sure to fulfil it. Not request but it's a demand from your ex-wife. I wish you would move on from all the sufferings and pain. You should move on from me, from us. I wish for you to fall in love again with someone who'd keep you happy and bring back the liveliness in you. I admit it would hurt me, a lot but it'd mean nothing if you'd be well.

Never hesitate to come and find me, even if it's just for a brief moment. I'm always available for you. Also, just to remind you, don't you feel lonely, remember my friends are yours as well. Do disturb them at your will, most they'll do is throw tantrums but they're nice I promise. I love you, will always do. But you, move on okay? So that's all I guess. Sorry took too much of your time. Take care of yourself.

From,

Your Cherry (for one last time, promise)

Seungcheol is bawling his eyes out, screaming in pain as he reads your letter again and again, occasionally holding it close to his chest.

There's only one question that reels in his mind. How could you love him so selflessly?

You didn't expect much on your birthday but with all your friends and family travelling hours long, jamming up your place just to celebrate your day, it feels nice.

"Jihoon arranged the cake, but since Y/N wanted the party to be held in here he cancelled the venue.", Seungkwan states as a matter of fact, "Thank God, he's here otherwise my lifeline would have receded to half worrying about her."

All of your friends look at you happily chatting with your parents.

"Thanks Jihoon.", Eunsoo expresses her sincere gratitude, "I'm so relieved that she has you. She still hasn't forgiven us and knowing how private she tends to be, it's nice that she at least has you."

"We all feel the same.", Wonwoo assures and Eunsoo side eyes him as she shifts further away from him, changing seats.

Jihoon smiles genuinely, "Y/N is a great person to have around you so gradually you'd be willing to reciprocate the efforts."

"Good things, happen to good people but why is she suffering?", Mingyu sighs, chugging the can of bear, "She says she's mad at me, but she bought me my favourite limited edition watch when I was still recovering from the ligament injury."

"Yeah same, she checks on me throughout the day and night whenever I am going through a rough patch.", Eunsoo adds, "Even asked me to come and stay with her to take my mind off", she looks at Wonwoo, "things."

"Yeah, we may not always talk like we did before but she still cares the same.", Seungkwan says, "It's her nature, she can't do anything about it."

"Something good should happen to her soon.", Jihoon implies as he twirls the can in his hands.

The night goes on with you spending time with your dearest ones and catching up with everyone.

"Thanks for coming everyone.", you say making a toast, "I haven't felt this good lately. Y'all made my day really special."

At some point it's a mess, you're chasing Mingyu, who's screaming for his life because he smashed a big chunk of cake on your face. Eunsoo is eating off Jihoon's ears because she wants to hear him play Violin. Wonwoo doesn't like it a bit but there's nothing he can do apart from glaring at Jihoon. Seungkwan and Chan are debating over something useless, everyone is sure that next they're gonna fight each other to impose their point. Your parents look at all of you with a fond smile on their faces.

It's an hour till midnight when everyone decides to leave for the hotel they've been staying in. Though your friends and brother offer you help but you send them all away knowing they're still tired from such long journey.

You clean up the place and check the time before jogging down to throw the Dustin bags. All you could think of was if Seungcheol had read your letter. Doesn't matter if not today, as long as he reads it, any day is fine.

It's chilly outside as the full moon shines brightly. You stand outside not entering the gate and close your eyes to feel the breeze. It's calming, you think.

When you open your eyes after staying out for good amount of time, you think you had drunk a little too much.

"I shouldn't have drunk so much, now I'm seeing you.", you shake your head, slap your cheeks and look ahead again, "Why are you still here? Just vanish.', then you turn back to go inside the house.

"Y/N..."

You halt and say, "Now I'm hearing things also, great."

Suddenly you're being back hugged, "You're not hallucinating.", that's when you freeze, realisation gnawing on you.

Seungcheol has really come, he's physically present.

"W-What are you doing here?", you asked in your choked voice.

"I think we should have this conversation inside, only if you'll allow me to.", Seungcheol says and loosens his grip.

"Y-Yeah sure.", you don't look back, at him and walk straight into the house with him following you.

As Seungcheol takes a seat, you kick away the balloons, "Sorry, it's a mess right now.", and you flee to the kitchen to bring some slices of cake, "Have them, it's your favourite flavour."

"Happy Birthday, Y/N", he wishes you, taking the plate and you smile at him fondly.

"Have you eaten dinner?", you ask him and he shakes his head, "Came here straight from the airport."

While he eats the cake, you serve him all the dishes saying, "You should have told me that you'd come. I would have waited and we could have had the dinner together."

Seungcheol looks at you, wordless. So do you, observe him, the black hair that falls on his forehead, thick eyebrows, his brown orbs, dimpled cheeks, the small nose and stubbled chin, all of it. There's a soothing silence and you don't wanna break it.

"Y/N, there's a reason to why I came today."

You are calm, willing to listen to anything he has to offer because nothing worse can happen than what has already happened.

"I am not well without you.", he gives a small smile not meeting your gaze, "People are saying I look like a ghost nowadays, you can see it as well.", there's a pause before he looks at you and continues, "Your friends and brother have been trying hard to speak some senses into my mind. And I received the box you left for me, last week."

"But you were supposed to receive it today", you say calmly, "If my friends and family are pestering you, I'm sorry. I'd tell them to stop."

Seungcheol chuckles, shaking his head. He grabs both of your hands, "The problem isn't about me being unwell without you. The problem lies with you being more heartbroken and pained without me. You have suffered enough, you shouldn't be suffering anymore."

His hands trail gently upto your face, "And I'm here today to solve that."

You habitually lean into his touch, "Don't say something that would break my heart again, on my birthday."

"I know even without trying or repenting if I ask you to take me back, you'd do it in a heartbeat.", tears prick at his eyes as he speaks, "And now that there're no more secrets, though it's selfish of me but I want us to be together again, to live and to love forever. I want to love you right, treat you like you deserve to be treated."

You break down in tears, hiding your face in your palms, sobbing as you say, "This feels unreal. What if I'm dreaming and you'd be gone when I wake up?"

Seungcheol sniffles as he hugs you tightly, "I'm here, love. I won't go anywhere, I promise."

You snuggle closer to him, he embraces you tighter.

There are few taps on your back and you pull back only to Seungcheol making you stand up. You eyes questions him as he pecks your forehead quickly and kneels on his left knee.

Your eyes go wide as saucers as you watch him unfasten his chain and take out the ring, which you recognise is yours. He holds the ring saying, "I want to spend all of my tomorrows with you because you taught me the real meaning of love. Would you please with cherries on top, marry me?"

Not trusting your voice and with a frantic nod of head, you extend your hand towards him, onto which Seungcheol slides in the ring. You put the other ring on his finger and pull him into a fervent kiss.

Before he could take you to the bed and have you, you're pushing him away, "You haven't eaten, dinner first."

Seungcheol groans, his lips finding it's way back on your neck as he whispers, "I wanna eat you out. You're my meal, you're my dessert to devour."

You give up knowing, he's not going to listen because he's stripping you down to nothing, kissing and sucking everywhere.

"I love you, love you so much.", he keeps on murmuring, "You're mine, only mine."

Carrying you inside, he slams the bedroom door shut. All you could remember is his name and the way he worked on your whole body diligently through the night, till the morning.

"I wanna meet Lee Jihoon.", Seungcheol says during lunch, because that's when you both finally left the bed after long long sessions of love making.

But he makes you sit on his lap, "Because along with the plane ticket that I found on my office table, he had sent a card with the instructions to give it to you."

He takes out the card from his coat which was hung on the chair and gives it to you.

'Here's your birthday gift, Y/N. Told ya, giving you Seungcheol would be much easier.'

You are grinning ear to ear, "Definitely, he seems snappy but is actually quite a nice guy."

Seungcheol gulps when he remembers the other note which contained nothing but the pure threat of kidnapping, smuggling and dumping him to your house if he doesn't come here voluntarily, "Y-Yeah sure, he must be a nice guy..."

The nation is in uproar because it was such a sight to see Choi Seungcheol carrying his ex-wife in bridal style, smooching her throughout, in front of the media, till they're seen out of the airport.

Another shock comes from the musical prodigy, Lee Jihoon who returns to his roots posing as a bodyguard to the couple.

The media doesn't get to rest when a month later, both the Choi's and Lee's publish articles about your wedding to Seungcheol along with some glamourous shots from the private wedding that took place with limited guests consisting mostly closed friends and family.

Some are confused, some are shocked but more or less everyone is curious. No matter how hard the paparazzi are trying they're unable to pull tabs on what actually happened. You both are the trending topic and though all tabloids are based on pure speculations, it also shows the upper hand The Choi's have on protecting their matters.

"I have the sent the data as an anonymous to the police.", Wonwoo informs, "I'm sure it'll be concrete enough to put Jiah behind the bars."

"Great.", Seungcheol smiles, "Keep on digging, make sure once she's in, she never gets out of the prison."

Wonwoo gives a nod and leaves.

"Are you sure he like Eunsoo back?", Seungcheol turns to ask you.

"You should notice how stone cold poker faced Wonwoo starts to show emotions whenever he sees Eunsoo with Jihoon. I have caught him stealing glances at our Soo as well.", you sigh, "I know it must be hard for him, but I wish he could just be honest with his feelings."

"I'll talk to him", Seungcheol assures and as if a switch flips he pouts saying, "Why'd you have to go? We just got married."

"I'll have to look over the academy until it's fully functional.", you tell him, "Jihoon can take over after that but till then I'll have keep going back and forth. But hey, I'll be here for a month before I go, let's utilize it to the fullest."

"Of course, baby. Don't worry I'll manage my schedule so that I can be there with you for most of the time.", he pecks your lips, "I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"Love you too, Cherry.", you smile looking at him.

"Let's plan for our honeymoon--"

"Cheol, I was thinking that...", your lips purse into a line, "instead of touring, can we spend some time alone without work, just the two of us, somewhere cozy. Only if you're okay with it, I know you're busy and to take time completely off--"

You're cut off by his lips on yours. He kisses you for a good amount of time and says, "If you want it then I'll manage. Anything for you baby."

You smile pushing him away, "You're down bad.", ypj tease, "I'll have to drop by the academy, Seungkwan is waiting."

"I'll take you.", Seungcheol gets up grabbing the car keys, "I'm sure everyone is there specially Jihoon, I'm a fan."

You roll your eyes, "Yeah everyone is saying so but he's a plain pain in ass to me. Let's take Wonwoo with us.", grabbing your clutch, "I'm planning to visit Wonseok, let's go together this weekend. Also, I've informed Ms. Oh that we'd be eating out tonight."

As Seungcheol drives, your mind reels back to everything that happened over the month. Your husband proposing to you, you coming back and accepting things with his parents as they offer their earnest apologies. Though Seungcheol is still not on talking terms with them and you're yet to entirely let go of what they've done, you think time will mend the relationships.

Getting married again but this time just out of pure love. Discussions about having family, bearing his children in future comes often and you don't miss the gleam in your husband's eyes when you both talk over it casually nowadays, him always assuring that he's ready whenever you're ready. Your friends now becoming more of Seungcheol's group as they pick each other's habit and throw unfiltered banter, Jihoon included.

If years of suffering have led you to witness these days then you're content because it's all worth it.

Even though Seungcheol is engaged in a conversation with the group, he sweeps a quick glance at you, smiling fondly and mouthing a 'I Love you' before diving back just to sulk at something Mingyu claimed.

You say those words right back to him in your heart, a thousand times more as you make a wish you have him as yours in all lifetimes.

To be fully seen by somebody and be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous. Having withered for each other and falling back in love, lucky you both to be spending the rest of your lives together.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

#withering for you #scoups #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #seungcheol x y/n #seungcheol x reader #seventeen #svt x reader #seventeen x reader #svt au #seventeen au #seventeen fanfic #scoups x reader #scoups x y/n #scoups fluff #scoups angst #seungcheol angst #seungcheol fluff #seungcheol smut #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol fanfic #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seventeen angst #svt angst #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #svt imagines #seventeen smut #svt smut

[lackadaisycats]

Not a question, just a small thank-you.

I knew nothing about Lackadaisy when I stumbled upon it on YouTube. I'm an aspiring artist, and had been going through a bad art block. I felt especially discouraged after hearing so many discussions about how A.I. was going to destroy art as a potential career. I know I shouldn't let such things bother me, but they were at the moment I clicked on the pilot.

I actually became emotional watching it. There was heart and soul in every frame, in every note of music and sound design. And I read the comments, also appreciating something made by people who obviously have passion for their craft. And I realized, art is not dead, and it never truly will be. It helped me remember why I loved making art so much.

Thank you for letting me ramble. Congratulations on all you've accomplished, I'm excited to see the future of this project.

And thanks for helping me rediscover a little of my spark.

How we go about making art has been in a constant state of flux since we've been making tools. Sometimes it's in lockstep congruity with technology. Sometimes new artforms spin off from that. Sometimes new ways of doing art emerge as a reaction to that, or in defiance of it. The impulse to create - to make art - is so fundamental to us as human beings, though, I really can't imagine a scenario in which we just...stop.

I don't mean to dismiss anyone's worries about diminished job opportunities, of course. That is a real and valid concern. I'd say technology itself is less the issue than the number-go-up, ALWAYS-BE-GOING-UP economic framework we live inside of that entertains no ethical qualms and benefits an increasingly narrow subset of people. But, one thing we can use art for is confronting and challenging those seemingly inescapable institutions, and helping to coalesce movements for change. Whenever possible, don't let bad things happening stop you from making art. Let it add jet fuel to your motivations for making art.

Anyway, pontificating aside, thank you so much. Your message was extremely touching to read, and that fills me with the desire to keep going too.

#lackadaisy #lackadaisycats #animation #art #A.I.

[limeyyoshi]

Jacky93Sims' 4t2 Functional VR Headset - Bugfixes and New Features

So I have been playing with the 4t2 Functional VR Headset by @jacky93sims for a while now. While it is an amazing thing to have it at all, I immediately noticed some weird things going on in my game whenever I tried to use it. Initially I just wanted to get rid of these weird things, but this sparked a big makeover of the entire mod's functions, as I felt this object could do so much more with a bit of BHAV magic.

Most importantly, Sims can now use the VR headset autonomously, gain Science enthusiasm (because waaaay too few objects benefit that hobby) and Fitness through it, you are no longer prompted to take a screenshot whenever a Sim puts the headset on or off, and the headset will no longer kill Sims if you leave them unattended.

Note that the download link only includes the main object containing all the code! Please go to the original download page to grab the headset accessory and the child, teen and adult meshes, too.

DOWNLOAD

The complete changelog is under the cut, if you are interested in the other ways I have changed this object up.

NEW FEATURE: All interactions are now autonomous! All Sims can play or work out if they seek Fun, but Playful Sims are more likely to play with it, and Active Sims are more likely to work out on it.

NEW FEATURE: Sims now gain Science hobby enthusiasm when playing or working out, at a default of 120% the normal speed. (Requires FreeTime, but you can use this updated version without FT, too.)

NEW FEATURE: Sims now gain Fitness when working out. By default the rate is about 50% faster than working out on stereos, to justify the hefty price tag.

CHANGE: Slightly more Fun gain while playing (40/hour -> 50/hour). In turn, higher Energy (-5/hour -> -20/hour) and Comfort loss (none -> -20/hour).

CHANGE: Slightly more Energy (-10/hour -> -20/hour), Comfort (-10/hour -> -25/hour) and Hygiene (none -> -25/hour) loss. Removed the weird fixed -2 Comfort loss when putting the headset on. Active Sims now only gain 50% more Body skill when working out with the VR headset; other Sims still retain the base 150% skill rate gain. I feel like VR would close the skill gap a bit, so...

CHANGE: Made all the gain and loss tunable for those that know their way around SimPE and can change BCON resource 0x1000 (for playing) and 0x1002 (for working out).

CHANGE: Looped the "jumping jack" and "jog" workout animations three times, and slowed them down. Looped the "knee-bend", "stretch side" and "stretch toes" animations twice. It all looked quite janky being at normal speed.

CHANGE: Added a dialogue when a Body Skill point is gained.

CHANGE: Clarified that the object requires University through the catalogue, because it uses a SimVac animation. I also adjusted the catalogue values for Fun (N/A -> 10) and Environment (6 -> 8).

CHANGE: Added a German translation.

CHANGE: Removed some unnecessary resources.

CRITICAL BUGFIX: Sims will now stop using the headset if their fun is maxed or their motives are failing (same thresholds as with any other "Fun" object), so they don't play or work out until they drop dead. This is a similar issue to an unmodded Exercise Bike from FT.

BUGFIX: You are no longer prompted to take a picture when a Sim puts on or takes off the headset. Maybe @jacky93sims did this to create a bit of immersion, but I did not like it.

BUGFIX: Motive changes are now cleared after taking the headset off. Previously, Sims would keep gaining Fun and losing Energy and/or Comfort even after stopping to use the headset.

BUGFIX: If a Sim doesn't have enough room to play or work out after already having strapped the headset on, the "in use" flag and overlays will now properly reset.

#thesims2 #sims2 #sims 2 mods #limeyyoshi #jacky93sims #sims 2 cc #4t2

[velomiu]

How I changed my mindset ʚ♡ɞ

Hello lovelies, for my first post I'm going to explain how I changed my negative mindset into a positive one!

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

Tip No. 1: Stop overthinking

You need to realise that no matter what you do, how popular or successful you are, people don't think about you nearly as much as you think about yourself. So stop worrying about "embarrassing yourself" because really nothing is that deep or that serious.

In the end you're just creating more problems for yourself, most of them not even being real problems. As the stoic philosopher Seneca once said, "We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."

Tip No. 2: Stop consuming negative content

If you're like me, you've definitely at least once scrolled on tiktok for hours watching "relatable" or just overall depressing content. Now, I'm not telling you to delete tiktok, but instead of consuming depressing and negative content (on any app) you should try consuming something positive and/or something that motivates you to get up and do something.

For example, instead of listening to a playlist like "crying myself to sleep" or "for when you're a disappointment", you should try listening to a playlist with fun and upbeat music. I know this may sound silly but, at the end of the day, the media you consume every day for multiple hours on end really impacts the way you see life.

Tip No. 3: Learning to romanticise your life

Now I'm going to use something from my real life as an example, so I don't have any friends in school, I do outside of school, but at school I feel pretty lonely. What I used to do was go to school every day and think of all the reasons why someone from my class wouldn't like me, and that made me feel very insecure.

I stopped doing that once I realised how hurtful that mindset is. Now, instead of that, I like to romanticise being alone. As it turns out, a lot of things can be romanticised. I'm not saying this can be applied for everyone, as some people really do have tragic situations and living conditions that can't and shouldn't be romanticised. But, if this does work for you, you'll find that romanticising life makes it a lot more fun and exciting.

Tip No. 4: Remember your goals

In my opinion, having a goal to work towards is what makes life what it is. For example, you're saving money for a new pair of shoes, you're thrilled thinking about the day when you'll finally be able to buy them, you're also scared that you won't be able to save enough money. When you do finally get them, though, even though you're incredibly happy, you'll also feel a bit empty, given that now you don't have a goal to work towards.

Goals are the essence that drives us in life, so whenever you don't know what to do, maybe you're bored, maybe you're feeling depressed, whatever, use that time to devote yourself to achieving whatever goal you have. It doesn't matter what the goal is, necessarily, if you want better grades, study, if you plan on losing weight, exercise, remember your goals because they are what keep you going in life. Even if nothing else has ever worked out for you, just having a goal is a great start.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

#self love #self improvement #wonyoungism #it girl #that girl #dream girl #self growth #mindset #success #empowerment #personal growth #confidence #successmindset #studying #studyspo #study motivation #motivation #motivation post #wonyoung #song jia #thewizardliz #self care #positive mindset #positivity #positive affirmations #becoming that girl #goals #focus #habits #improve

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

So I don’t know if you know of Doug Walker, but recently released his Disneycember review of The Owl House.

While he praised a majority of the show, he criticized the main villain, Belos, of how he was written.

Many of the comments tried to defend the writing of the villain.

Doug Walker..

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.

Yes, I am very familiar with Doug Walker; I loved his stuff along with Channel Awesome years ago and then the allegations came out and fortunately, the other contributors on that channel moved onto bigger and better things. Meanwhile, Doug just stayed the same, so I don't watch his stuff anymore.

Any way, I think it's funny people are scrambling to defend Belos' writing because, despite my own personal opinions on Doug as a critic, I actually agree with him.

For a show that is ostensibly about subverting tropes and not judging a book by its cover, by showing how people can choose to change or not, etc. Belos is a throwback to an earlier era where the Big Bad had basic motivations and characterizations. And for a show like toh, that actually ends up hurting the narrative.

I have categorized the comments I found defending the writing and here are my responses to them:

Belos does have a deeper layer, you just have to look for it.

While a show can certainly foreshadow and provide little hints about a major character, eventually all of that setup will have to pay off somehow. There has to be a reveal both to reward the viewers that have been paying attention and to inform more casual viewers who may not have. Fans analyzing every little frame to extrapolate a major character's backstory only for that backstory to really not matter in the end despite it being set up for a season is just bad writing. full stop. [A viewer should also not have to look on social media for crucial information on a major character.]

It's also not clever that the show left so much room for interpretation on Belos; it just means that they didn't make a commitment to what was being set up and reduced his character to glib one-liners whenever we learn something interesting about him (Masha's "little bro was jealous of big bro" line and Papa Titan's whole spiel).

2. Belos would have been written better if the show had more time.

The Toh crew knew about the cancellation during production of Eda's Requiem and wrote all of 2B with it in mind. So they knew they were working on a time crunch but still introduced elements like the Collector when they should have spent the time wrapping up their story. The cancellation is not an excuse for sloppy writing.

3. Belos as a villain works more on a meta level.

So the argument here is that Belos is the antithesis to the BI; it's accepting and diverse while he is hateful and only accepts things that conform to his worldview. The characters in the story change and grow, while Belos does not. The problem here is that a villain can't only work on a meta level, it has to work on a narrative one as well.

If the BI is place that accepts weirdos then how did someone like Belos come to power? Oh, he lied his way to the top and created problems that never existed? That just makes your populace look dumb and easily manipulated. The BI being so accepting also undermines the threat credibility of the Emperor's Coven because why should we worry about them if they have no real influence over how the BI residents think or behave aside from when the plot needs them to?

Also, I strongly disagree with anyone who says that toh has a "people are complicated and choose to do good and bad" theme when all of the good characters can blame their bad actions on being manipulated or on circumstances outside of their control OR the narrative ignores/downplays anything bad they did (cough cough Amity and Lilith). Meanwhile, the villains are just shallow with basic motives and this is supposed to be a deep message about how Some People Are Just Bad.

If you're going to contrast why your good characters are capable of growth then you need to show why your villain does not. What is stopping them? How do they react if given a legitimate reason to change (that isn't a cheap jab at Steven Universe)? What is their justification for their actions?

Whatever the answer is, the narrative has to support it and not undermine it with a stupid joke.

4. Belos is so refreshing when every villain character is redeemed.

Watch more shows. If you think that every cartoon villain post-Steven Universe is being redeemed then you're incorrect. Redemption of a show or movie's Big Bad is still in the minority while the redemption of the main villain's lackey is a dime-a-dozen.

Ultimately, I think the problem with toh is that so many of its fans take its thematic statements at face value without ever really stopping to think about the execution of those themes and if they really work or not.

Belos just happens to embody this little trick that toh does: it claims to have bold and timely statements and important themes, but the structure and execution of the plot, character development, and world-building undermines any attempt at a consistent or coherent message.

#asks #long post #the owl house #toh critical #toh criticism #emperor belos #philip wittebane #doug walker #nostalgia critic #disneycember

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Okay... so earlier I posted a few things without the proper tags because I felt like it wasn't necessary to say publicly, but right now antiblackness seems to keep escalating and people keep getting away with shit like this.

The next time you see antiblack posts especially vagues, check the comments and likes. I'm not being funny about this, I've been trying to be nice and quiet about antiblackness and blogs actively proposing alt-right talking points in this fandom by not saying things about it. But this is a pattern of larger blogs agreeing in secret with smaller racist ranters.

Whenever you see a virulently hateful response to a small black blog or what seems to be an antiblack rant, please I BEG of you all to check the comments and likes of said commentary. You will be surprised to see how many large blogs not only agree with the antiblack sentiment they're spreading but also are encouraging them to continue this sort of behavior.

We have blogs that are far larger than the blogs they're attacking, in the comments calling these black blogs "antiwhite" and "reverse racists", but nobody checks the comments. They know to hide their more controversial rhetoric in comments and likes. These smaller blogs who wanted approval from them then walk away from these large blogs and call these smaller blogs SLURS.

Post 499 of "The reason I don't follow black people, is because they block me" has blogs agreeing with them but never have been taken to task because they're hoping you genuinely don't check the comments or likes.

If you really truly care, I need you to start remembering names. It isn't even a difficult equation, no more than 1+1. It's blatant and clear once you start reading and using critical thought to find context and start questioning the motives behind vague posts against black blogs. These antiblack blogs aren't even smart enough to use alts, they're brazen with this sort of thing.

Antiblack users are begging and praying every night that you don't check for context or read comments when they drag smaller black blogs. They know better not to say this on their own blogs or reblog, they wait until they can comment and agree in silence, it's what they do.

They think you don't read, please prove them wrong.

These larger blogs that are creating hit lists of black blogs are literally testing your intelligence and ability to check their rhetoric, please.

#iwtv #black fandom #interview with the vampire #vampire chronicles

[lovl3igh]

https://www.tumblr.com/lovl3igh/748217725348872192/team-green-in-new-promo-be-like-why-tg-should?source=share

These actors will literally be hated and bullied, what are you talking about? If you open Tom's interviews, he adores Aegon, Ewan adores Aemond. For God's sake…

appearances of actors aside cause they all are bullied for that, especially matt, ewan and emma and racists comments too (i'm saying that just to be clear, i will comment only on actors actions)

you mean the actors would be bullied for supporting tg and going against tb... like ewan for praising aemond? or tom describing how would he kill rhaenyra if he could? or olivia sympathizing with alicent? bffr

these are really some of least agressive tweets, but still negative towards tb actors:

calling real person a bastard for playing silly game (also harry was attacked for choosing maester over alicent but when ewan chose in one game daemon over alicent it was fine), making fun of their character's death, bethany was being eaten up for going tb while tgc did the same with tg and no one said a word, the insinuations that harry collett did sexual favors for the role of jace (mind you, he was 16!! when he landed the part and i'm not even gonna comment on harassing elliot that way, creating fanarts and ships luke x adult people with using 14yo elliot's face), being compared to animals, emma is being constantly insulted and misgendered by tg who hates rhaenyra and the same goes with phoebe cause they said one sentence in promo video...

i'm not saying tg cast don't experience that kind of behaviour, sure they do. while it's not true that they don't anymore speak praising their characters or tg cause they do, especially tgc. the truth is they didn't say anything here what would be worthy argument that aegon should be the king because it's simply not true. what could they say? "aegon is the man" doesn't matter, law of inheritance the crown doesn't work that way. "rhaenyra has three bastards" it's about her claim, not jace's. "daemon would be terrible consort, too close to power" sooo unlike aegon the rapist who actually would be a king? "rhaenyra slept with more than one man" you try to say it in 2024. what they can say?? the show and books clearly stated the greens are usurpers, the actors know their characters are wrong. ewan gave motives of aemond but the rest of them didn't even try that

i literally went on twitter to look for that kind of stuff and like i said - there's so many insults about actors' appearances but speaking only about their opinions about teams, what i see is team black that is being constantly attacked, especially the young ones and/or black actors. whenever they have their promo or speak well or team black there's always bunch of people who will attack them and i don't even count "they're boring" cause while it's stupid, it's not really an attack ig. while in case of bullying for appearance i don't go against one team, that's here it's very clear to me that tg stans many times crossed the line

actors still speak well on their characters and tg, so stop that bs, the problem here was that they didn't have anything to say. also sooo which one, they can't say anything to not be bullied or they show how much they love their characters? no mention that you can love a character and still see they're wrong lmao

#also by tg stans i mean some of them ofc #don't come at me #cause if you don't do that then clearly the post isn't about you #but if you commented yourself such stuff #or supported someone else #then you're a problem #and go fuck yourself #house of the dragon #hotd #targaryen #fire and blood #anti team green #anti green stans #hotd cast #harry collett #bethany antonia #tom glynn carney #house of the dragon cast #hotd promo #hotd stans #ofc i'm truly sorry for what happened to emily and olivia #my point still stands bc they didn't stop talking ab tg

[septembercfawkes]

How do you stay motivated writing your story? Whenever I want to write I just don't know how to start

Hey anon,

I'm obviously speaking from my own experience and POV, but to me, motivation doesn't mean much. It's there one day, and it's gone the next. For me, building habits and being disciplined is more useful. I set a predetermined time or day to write (others like to set a word count), and I sorta treat it like a job or a must-do. I'm scheduled to write, so I must work on my story. (With that said, if I'm working on it, and things really, really, aren't coming together, I will sometimes stop, because I may need a little bit of time away from it, or (as strange as it may sound) my subconscious needs to work on it a bit more first.). I love the idea of "trusting the process." I show up, and I trust the process, regardless of how I feel. Obviously it's super helpful if I feel really motivated. That's like the "cherry on top." If I do want to create a stronger sense of motivation, it's helpful for me to watch or read stories I love. It's also helpful to envision my completed project, and how I will feel when it is completed.

As for not knowing where to start . . . I don't know how long you have been writing, but part of it, I think, depends on learning what your own process is. I'm a planner/plotter, so I absolutely need to brainstorm ideas (even for individual scenes), and plan things out, first. I think about what the purpose of the scene is, what the plot elements are in it, and what the structure needs to be (I'm obviously a pretty technical person). Then I start with a draft . . . which I actually edit as I go--I can only write so much "crap" before I feel like it derails me, so I go back to the start of the scene and edit what I have, before writing the next several paragraphs. That's what I like to do.

For others, I'm sure it's very different. Some pantsers/discovery writers like to literally just start writing on the document, and they figure out the story as they go. I cannot do that! It doesn't work for me. For some, it does. For some, it works to do a writing sprint, where they just write as many words as they can in a story as fast as I can (that does not work for me).

Some like to write in "layers." For example, they write all the dialogue of a scene first, then come back and add the actions (blocking), then come back and add description . . . etc. I sort of do this, when I'm "editing as I go." I may literally write "[insert description of room]" at first, then go back to edit and put in a description.

So, those are my thoughts. I hope something in here helps. ☺️

#Let's write #writeblr #writing tips #writing help #writing tip #writing tips and tricks #writing advice #writer #writing #fanfic #writing reference #writeblogging #write better

[thecherrytarot]

𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞.

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!

the messages that i got weren't exactly "dark" dark but they are something that you need to work on.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

𝐗𝐗𝐈. 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞

You may be someone who is way too comfortable in your comfort zone. You may like to stay in your own little space, it's not only because of the 'fear of the unkown' but also because many of you might be simply put, lazy. You may take forever to finish the projects that you have started. Whenever someone confronts you about it, you have excuses ready. Don't get me wrong, it's not like you don't completely want to avoid it, you want to fulfil a big goal and complete that project, but you’re not taking all the steps necessary to get there. You may go for the quick and easy path to achieve it, but it won't lead to the outcome that you wanted and feel demotivated. You feel like you don't have any motivation to do it or think that these things are not worth the effort. lf you are studying for an exam you might say "umm do i REALLY need this degree/job?!" or things like that. Sometimes you may be so close to finishing your project but for some reason you lose focus and slack off. You may act like a 'know it all' but majority of the information you have is incorrect or just wrong. like for example you know those people who believe in the 'psychology' facts that they see on tiktok/reels which are obviously are false and the person who made it didn't even bother to check those facts? similar to them (for many of you this also might be your "source of information"). Some of you are still emotionally attached to a past relationship and want to move on but find it hard to accept. You may feel like something or someone is blocking your energy and the possibility of you being that something or someone is really high.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

Many of you might have a saviour complex. You might meet someone who is 'broken' or has issues with the things in their and you might think that you can fix them and change them for the better. Knowingly/unknowingly you might be attracted to people who are like this (especially those who have issues with the mother figure of their life) and try to take care of them to feel special (?) like "oh xyz doesn't talk that much with others but they are so talkative when they are with ME" kinda vibes. I feel like when it is your turn to open up, you are very subtle about it and keep it short. You don't like to open up that much but expect others to open to you and depend on you. (Like here no matter how hard i try keep getting message about the other party and very little about you) While this doesn't sound so bad, you might suffocate the other person with all the smothering. You may often mistake your possessiveness or jealousy with care and protectiveness. However this isn't exactly a bad thing it just depends on context and intentions of both the parties.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

𝐗𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬

TW : mentions of mental illness, alcoholism, insomnia and anxiety.

It was so hard for me to even say the question while shuffling the cards like i could feel the intense energy of this pile. I had to stop and mediate before continuing and when i got this card things made sense.You may be a patient of mental illness (especially maladaptive daydreaming) or may show some symptoms of it. The card that i got signifies having unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol addiction etc. For some of you, your coping mechanism might be being obsessed with celebrities/fictional characters. You may suffer from insomnia due to overthinking, anxiety or having a loud mind.You may not like your surroundings and avoid your reality by imagining the one you created in your head (maladaptive daydreaming) Night time might be your favorite time because thats when you feel like you can really be yourself. You may have gone through may emotional ups and downs and may hold grudges against people. You may not realize it but the 'bitterness' inside you has turned or is turning into poison and it's slowly killing you. You may have had some terrible experiences that caused mental distress, and instead of dealing with them you push them down deep into your subconscious. When you do feel those emotions resurfacing you do certain things to distract yourself from the pain like for example alcohol consumption to the numb it.You feel like there are dark clouds blocking your sunshine. These 'dark clouds' might be your paranoia which is blocking your 'sunshine' due to past experiences.

thank you so much for reading this!!!

#free tarot reading #pac tarot #pac reading #bts tarot #jungkook tarot #love tarot reading #general tarot reading #fs tarot #tarot reading #fs tarot reading

[desceros]

How do you feel so motivated to write all the time? I have a fic of my own that I’ve been working on for a few months and have been posting but I’ve lost all the momentum I once had for it and only have 3 chapters left that I need to write. Whenever I sit down to write it I can never seem to put more than a few words down before I either work on something newer or just give up for the day. Sorry for the small vent I’m just trying to find ways to get back to it 💜💜💜💜

oh, that's easy—i don't! i have really, really bad adhd. motivation isn't something i can count on for, uh, literally anything lmao. which is bad for, like, eating and sleeping with any sense of regularity, but good in terms of me having learned how to do stuff i wanna do without motivation!

the first thing is consistency. i try really really hard to write every day, even if it's only a little. i have a folder in my icloud for daily exercises, and that's where i write little 500-1000 word snippets if i don't have a proper fic or novel that i'm working on. it's just a single scenario, single blip kind of thing. This has made it so that my brain expects me to write, every day, even when i'm not particularly motivated by one plot or another. though don't beat yourself up if you don't write in a day. that's pretty hard for me, but it's very important!

second, kind of part of the first, is that i have a time set aside every day to write. it's actually first thing in the morning when i wake up, because i'm super excited to do it and it gets me out of bed like nothing else!! i don't check my phone, i don't think about work, none of that. i just roll out of bed and sit down at my computer and start writing. because i have a specific time for it, it's very easy for me to go oh. well this is my writing time. the time for writing. i shall go and write now.

third is to have lots of different things that you're very excited about. i'll usually have three or four ideas bouncing around in my head at one time, because it makes me think 'oh i need to finish x so i can get to y', just in case x ever gets too boring for me. but also—don't be afraid to switch projects! if something isn't meshing, don't force it. you'll grow to resent it, and yourself for not being able to create, and that negativity isn't conducive to a fun time. i like to have at least two things that i'm actively working on that are very different in tone. this way, i can bounce back and forth as needed if something isn't vibing one day for whatever reason.

fourth is to kinda... trick yourself a little. if i'm working on a long project and i need to stop for anything longer than getting another cup of coffee, i stop in the middle of a scene—but, very specifically, a scene in which i know what the next step is going to be. sometimes, i'll even go down a line and put what the next action is, if it's really gonna be a while. that way, the next time i come back to it, i reread the scene, and by the time i get to the place where i'm supposed to start writing again, the flow is there. it's much easier to pick up in media res vs having to start a new section.

so yeah. motivation is fake, don't ever trust it, come up with a system that makes it so you never have to count on it ever again!

#ask tag #writing tag #hope this helps!!!! #as proof: i am starving hungry and i sat down to write this instead of getting food. HELP

[nightswithkookmin]

I'm inactive from twitter nowadays so am always somehow behind the new updates,but always catch up when I can.about jimin going to newyork for work I heard no one knew about it? But been noticing jm pulls off this crazy crowd at the airport everytime hes alone.but I don't see this crowd for others?..it looks like jimin has his own solo huge fanbase in his country? this also after jm being barely active on social media but seems fans and kmedia really love jimin.,the first time he went to us and stayed for two weeks the crowd was insane too and some said he paid kmedia to bring fans in which is ridiculous.

He paid to get fans to the airport?????

I mean if he was gonna pay anyone it would be me and I'm not seeing any check in the mail🤷🏾‍♂️

People can be so corny 🙄

BTS is the most influential boyband in the world and people marvel when the one member people have always been curious about attracts attention whenever he steps out- never mind that he's also been the most inaccessible scarce member following the announcement of their solo careers.

All this talk about jikook going private-

It's such a wonder to see their brains at work

Not even gonna lie I would pay with my own money to rally up the hoes at his front door so I'm in no position to Judge let alone condemn anyone who does this too.

If anyone is paying the media to be anywhere it is his fans. It is me. I did it. Jimin has nothing to do with it. They should leave him alone.

We gonna get him the crown, the trophies, the streams, the plays, the clout, the attention, higher ratings, play his soft core PR managers, manage his brand- if we could post and curate his IG ourselves we would. If we could pay for his flights so he flies private or 1st class all the time we would, if we could choose which programs he should be on we would, if we could be his agents we would, if we could create a whole new planet for himWE WOULD.

People underestimate just how obsessed his fans and detractors alike are with him. I tell you his haters are his biggest promoters and we thank them.

We mean business out here darling. Other stans are just lazy. Look at what they doing to RM!!! They not even giving him the clicks!it's been four days and still life isn't even clocking 10m- they should stop worrying about Jimin and go stream like the bitches they are

JM stans want to see him do better and that motivates everyone in one way or the other no matter their reach. PJMs are resourceful. It's why fake woke OT7s cancel them a lot💀

They spend so much time and energy abusing others they reserve no energy to support their faves.

He has in us a ride or die and people are just jealous.

Jimin stans we are dedicated🙃

Look at me. I've been through the wood chip, lived through several moments of BTS droughts- I should hang my coat and retire yet I'm still here💀

Had friends who've told me to give all this up and live my life- I'm no longer friends with them🙂

I'll give you up before I give Jimin up

I am here till the final curtain call🙂

On a serious note, guys go watch Still life MV and let's push it to at least 10m damn

[chaisshitposts]

Hey

There is a person here on tumblr by the name 'creative genius' who says that law of assumption does'nt works its 'ghoulish BS' etc

I am here on tumblr from June 2023 just overconsuming and I have never applied anything ever because whenever I try to do any thing I feel so damn anxious so I stop doing it . Also whenever I see things like that my anxiety goes all crazy because I want good things to happen badly but very afraid of if it did'nt happened

Its been a long time since I was truly happy

I know all the successes are true and this law is true I feel so good for the people who got out of their shitty realities

But how do I feel good for myself that I can also do it and I will be happy

ghoulish bullshit is a very funny way to describe the law of assumption...

the law of assumption is easy— I don't know why some folks can't wrap their heads around it. All you gotta do is think something a bunch of times and then BOOM it becomes a belief.

like, how did you learn the language you're currently speaking? repetition until it became hardened facts in your head. how do you know how to read? repetition until it became hardened facts in your head.

law of assumption is simply teaching yourself new things until they harden into fact in the 4D, and manifest in your 3D.

you want purple hair and yellow eyes? assume it true by repeating such things/lies until they become your truth, then it will be an assumption.

if you repeatedly tell yourself that the law does not work, then that lie will become your truth.

the law of assumption is always working, all you need to do is just change those assumptions and the world just gets better. it's actually super easy, but most people tend to give up after I dunno, two days or so, because they don't see as much progress as they want as fast as they want, which is why it's important to not only create the assumption you have your desires but it's also important to create the assumption that you can manifest things as quickly as you'd like.

hopefully that gave ya some motivation, lemme know if it didn't

#— chai's asks. !! ~ #— anonnie. !! ~

[zeltqz]

I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍

this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭

as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update

ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated

writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad

and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while

and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.

ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3

#why do i love to add unnecessary problems to my life #then dedicate myself to solve them #then get sad when i fail #but im too deep in to just give up #i dont wanna deactivate either that solves nothing and itd make me sad #UGH

[mimikoolover]

There’s nothing wrong in acknowledging the difference in how the company managed jm’s comeback Vs jk’s. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that jk got a huge push that helped him achieve all these numbers while other members didn’t. That’s not diminishing, that’s stating facts. Idk why army keep calling people “solos” “antis” whenever we point out that a lot of shady things have happened with jimin and face. Yes we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes but we are also not blind. We can see that face CDs are not restocked, we can see that hype did not acknowledge jimin’s number one, we can see that hype approved that shady article about jimin (the Weverse article ), we know that hype said no when jimin asked for a visual album (he literally told us) , we know that the fans were not informed about bbd new rule and that caused a free fall for LC. we also know that the promotion period was too short for a debut album. These things have happened and have affected LC’s potential and it’s ok to acknowledge that and question why they happened. If some fans want to ignore and focus on the happy things then that’s ok but please don’t accuse those who care about jimin as an artist of being akagaes or whatever you call them. Some of us want to the best for jimin and the rest of the group and we would be happy for all the members and their achievements as long as no one gets sabotaged on the way.

no.

to clarify: you're a solo/akgae because you harbour irrational hatred for other members. not because you care about jimin. caring about jimin doesn't involve hating on the people he's closest to and actively sabotaging them.

tell me your motivation behind comparing jimin and jk's solo debut. where are the comparisons involving the hyung line, if you think of yourself as so fair?

jimin's promo is not fans' job. how the members' promos are handled is not fans' job. you don't know what happens behind the scenes. stop pretending you do.

you list several things that you perceive as sabotage and for some reason you think this, which is business, is somehow your job to demand better for.

let me say this again: the members' careers are business.

hybe is not attacking jimin as a person if they say no to an idea he brings to the table. as a fan i want jimin to do everything that he wants to. at some stage that stops being realistic as a business decision and jimin knows that. it's still more than valid for him to be upset about the decision and to voice that. but when he tells you, he's not also saying to you that he wants you to burn the company building down.

it's baffling you expect fans to be informed about billboard rules by the company.

as a fan, you should enjoy the music and the content that your fave creates. at some stage in this fandom this will have to be said:

it's not fans' job to spend thousands of dollars in order to make their faves chart.

it's not fans' job to stream 24/7 from multiple devices in order to increase streams.

it's not fans' job to monitor the company, billboard, scooter, the entire industry.

it's not caring about your fave when you spread hate against other members. it's not caring about jimin when you team up with other fandoms to try to make a racist American man or two chart above jungkook. you're not justified hating, comparing, sabotaging jungkook because the company doesn't do for jimin what you want them to do.

it would be naive to claim that the fandom's frankly bonkers 'support' as they call it did not put bts and the members where they are today. it did.

but bts never ask you to do any of that. when they say they love army, it's not because of the monetary support or the endless streaming.

when jungkook tells people to care more about themselves than him, and that fans are the main characters' of their own lives, you can wonder why he says that.

(side-note: i seriously side-eye every single artist that has seen what bts fans do, and now encourage their fans to do the same and buy and stream endlessly. several tweets and posts asking fans if they're streaming. all of that. bts have never done that).

be honest with yourself and really think about how what you listed above in your ask makes you feel. then think about whether jimin would want you to feel that way.

people gotta understand that what fandom says isn't rooted in reality. the reality is bts do their job and we don't know what the company does, we don't know their personal lives, we don't know feelings they only share with the people closest to them or maybe with no one at all. the reality is you cannot take every move, act, breath, word of a member as gospel and base your entire experience around you and twitter's assumptions over what they mean. there's gotta be some grey space where people take things at face value and just enjoy the damn music.