#but he gets one so its okay

[hotluncheddie]

high masking autistic steve harrington follow on from this post

ao3

wc: 2.6k | rated: T | cw: description of a meltdown with semi aggressive stimms | tags: autistic steve harrington (and eddie and robin but this is about stevie), hurt/comfort, stobin soulmates, steddie, steve Harrington has shitty parents

.𖥔 ݁ ˖

he failed. he graduated. but he failed. those unsaid words between him and his parents. some get said. the bad ones, about him, they get said. over again like he’s 5 and being told is behaviour isn’t acceptable. that how he is isn’t right. ‘shape up or ship out’, basically. steve knows he can’t go anywhere new, not right now. only freshly recovered, physically at least. mentally; he’s still unacceptable. 

when steve works at scoops. it’s so fucking bright in there. so fucking bright, all day and he can’t focus and talking to people gets so much harder. it’s not like school where he can zone out in class and turn it on during lunch, in between, keep up his face with the people around him and sink back into his head during chemistry. no. now it’s all the time, customer after customer. that he has to talk to, put on a smile for, read so he gives them what they want and they leave happy. it’s exhausting. girls don’t like him anymore, they don’t react to him the same way. he doesn’t think he likes them much either though because they’re so much more annoying when it’s so fucking bright. 

but robin (robin who cycles to work with sunglasses on and doesn’t take them off till she has too) she turns the lights down during open and close. so those couple hours, it’s not so bad. not so stressful. a little bit less loud. 

after the mall burns down steve starts letting her in. tries too. she makes it obvious enough to him that she wants him there. she asks him to stay and calls him at night and he just wants to be enough for her. eventually he’d swallowed his pride and bolstered his courage and called her after a string of nightmares. asking her to stay the night. but then she was there, and it was like everything was thrown off. she was grating on his already freyed nerves but he didn’t know what to say. how to fix it without upsetting her. 

but that night, a mirror of the mall bathroom played out in steves en-suite. steve had freaked. hidden. but she didn’t leave. and he tried to explain. 

he needs her but he doesn’t know how to have her as a true friend. ‘i dunno how to talk to a girl if i don’t wanna date them. i uh, maybe, don’t really know how to talk to someone as myself. as a friend. sorry.’ 

‘well i don’t know how to talk to jocks so. same boat.’ and she has this glint in her eye. like she knows. and it’s okay. 

because robin, she made it simple. she makes it easy. she says just ask and she’ll be honest and give him a yes or no. she’ll say if she can’t be touched right now, or if the movie he chose is pissing her the fuck off. and she wants the same from him. if the music is too loud, if she needs to let him not speak for a while. wants him honest and present and real. real friends. someone close. finally. 

it’s rocky at first. she’s honest and he’s not used to it. it feel like criticism more often than not. makes him see red and lash out, like he was never able to with his parents. but he apologises and she stays. and he’s learning; that’s it’s okay, he’s not perfect and that means she’s knowing the real him. and she’s still his best friend even if he has to tell her to stop picking her nail polish off around him because it makes him want to die. and she laughs at him the first time she sees him in real recovery mode; hair not styled and he has on the only sweatshirt that ever feels good when he’s like this. 

they lay on the floor in darkness and silence. it’s perfect. they share a tin of soup and a grilled cheese. it’s perfect. 

being around robin as much as he is, its so new, having someone see so many parts of you. sometimes she laughs at him asking steve ‘why’d your voice change?’ but steve didn’t even know it had. he was, he was just talking to someone else quick, being nice like you’re supposed to, attentive to make them feel good. he didn’t know his voice changed that much. 

‘girls would like you more if you talked normal to them. how you do to me.’ 

steve swallowed thickly. he just. he just doesn’t know that thats true. nancy left, he talked to her about lots of things, too many things. she like him better at the start. before some of his black tar innards spilled out. before he freaked. before he was able to paste himself back together and she saw him for what he really is. 

he thinks of his parents. how they don’t know him and still don’t like him. anxiety prickles at his fingertips at the thought of those times they do come home. 

because with them there the routine he’s carved for himself, those quiet moments of darkness that he so craves. they’re gone. now it’s tv static and plates clanging and having to show his face at dinner again. but he’s not ten anymore. now he’s an adult whose still drowning in the tension of the room, never able to say what’s really going on, never allowed to ask how they really feel, never taught how to figure his feeling out. no listening ear for steve as a child, and the ice only grew thicker with time. 

it’s his skin itching at his mother stirring her tea across the house, spoon agains porcelain. it’s the hair on the back of his neck standing up at the sound of ice clinking in his fathers scotch glass. it’s triggered memories playing over and over again. it’s being plagued, by ghosts who haunt him, who left but come back every so often, like poltergeists. polietgists with the deed to the house, and ownership over steve, through blood and fear alone. 

‘when they get back you come to mine steve yeah? you come home.’

because now theres not just robin. there’s eddie. 

he sees everything. and more. even when steve’s trying to hide. eddie sees. 

he noticed steve squinting at the hospital and asked the nurse to turn the lights down. he saw how he started zoning out at a diner with the kids, their arguing reaching a pitch, asked steve to keep him company for a smoke break. once they were outside eddie said he just needed a moment, ‘those kids can be animals’. said it and looked a him like he didn’t need an answer, let steve just breathe a focus on the sound of the wind. 

it’s like there’s a million tiny moments, a million tiny cracks in him forming the more he’s around eddie. like his soft underbelly is mewling any time he’s around, wanting attention, wanting to let eddie see. let eddie touch. 

eddie used to look at him sometimes, across the lunch hall. stare at him with an expression steve couldn’t really make sense of. he used to think it was judgment, annoyance. now he wonders if that face was confusion or interest. maybe eddie’s always been trying to figure steve out. 

once it starts. them. eddie’s everywhere. more somehow, maybe, than robin because, you know, they go there. but it’s different, from those time, with those girls. instead now he’s there and his brains off and on in a, like, magical way. a new way that makes him feel whole and, and beautiful. 

this thing they have. it’s fragile. it’s not perfect. he messes up, takes him a moment to grasp how eddie can be so so himself, always, no matter what. especially when it causes him problems. ‘why not just try and fit in?’ but the stone faced reply told steve that was the wrong thing to say, he didn’t get it but he needed to respect it. respect eddie and his choices. ‘i’m not like you steve, even if my brain shit was all gone i’d still be poor, i’d still be othered. still be a gay weirdo little freak.’ 

and steve is trying to get it. he’s learning to recognise that it’s sadness and confusion in eddie’s eyes when he visits him at work, knowing steve is having a bad day and watching him pretend. watching that mask form thick and fast, hiding the real him, protecting but also keeping everyone far far away. steve thinks maybe they’re living parallels. finding different ways to survive. neither better, neither worse. both far from perfect. 

then that pinched sadness in eddie’s eyes. watching steve pretend. cover up. that damn breaks eventually. eddie sees all of him and more. those bits he always kept locked inside. between he and himself. it all comes spilling out. 

they were supposed to be going out soon. but eddie wasn’t feeling it anymore ‘let’s just stay here, be cozy a little longer. what do you say, sweetheart?’ it does sound nice. steves so tired. but they decided. they had a plan. 

‘we said we would. and i have to buy that thing eddie. we had a plan. and i have to go to work later, so we have to do it before. like we said and then i have to work eddie.’ and before he knows it there’s tears prickling his eyes and the ceiling fan is so loud and the desk lamp is too bright and he smacks a fist to the top of his head and it hurts a little but he’s so frustrated and so overwhelmed and so confused and embarrassed, suddenly. and he can’t breath. why can’t he breath? they had a plan. 

they were supposed to go see hopper and pick something up and he has to talk to him and ask about the game because he needs hopper to like him because it’s better when el can come when all the kids hangout. it’s important that she’s happy so hopper needs to trust steve so steve was going to talk to him today and pick something up. it was the plan. hopper makes him nervous but that was the plan. and then he had to go to work. but now he can’t breathe and he feels like he needs something to hurt. 

‘but he already trusts you with el stevie. hop trusts you with anything.’ 

‘i can’t know that. not for sure. when i talk to him it needs to be perfect.’ steve paces. a pinch at his arm. a tug at his hair. pivot. pace. repeat. 

‘i heard what he said to you steve, on your birthday, he was calling you son all day. you don’t need to prove anything to him.’ 

‘i do eddie! you don’t understand. people, they lie. adults lie. they don’t say things the way they mean. i can’t fuck up talking to him. not like i always fuck up talking to my parents. i need to do it better. do it differently. because everyone always leaves. and i just don’t want to be alone again.’ and the tears really start to fall and steve can barely breath and he’s so embarrassed. shaking hands try and cover his face but the tears slip through. 

and all he can think about is the plan. going to work. his vest hanging by the door. the way the plastic tapes feel in his hands. the smell of the bleach they mop the back room with. the day stretches before him. so many things in the way. so much anxiety still to come. if he can’t start, it can’t end. he gnaws at his lip. thumps a hand to his chest, trying to breath right, trying to ground. 

‘i have to go to work’ he mutters. like a prayer. speak it in to happening. taking him away from the now. thump thump thump at his chest. ear ringing. 

eddie’s holding his arms out, giving steve the option. he speaks so calmly, so earnest. ‘you can’t go to work steve. not like this baby.’

steve rounds on him. angry. when did everything get so messed up? if he was just left alone. he should’ve stayed on his own. ‘i cant just call in sick eddie! i’m not sick and and i hate the way they’ll sound when i say it over the phone and knowing what they’ll be thinking about me. they’ll know i hate the job and think i’m lazy and realise how stupid and useless i am and fire me. i can’t afford to get fired eddie. i’d rather just go in.’ he know it comes out garbled, his cheeks on fire. 

‘i’m not letting you go in steve. i’ll sort it. i’ll go pick up robin before and she’ll cover for you, she’ll explain. and she would never. ever think that of you.’ eddie’s voice dropped octave. he speaks clearly and plainly and finally there’s a new plan to follow. a new rule for the day. 

and all steve can do is curl up in a ball and sob. curl up in a ball against eddie chest, in his arms, squeezing his t-shirt between his fingers. clenching his muscles tight, his teeth grinding together. grunting out some of the decade old scream, still stuck there but more visible to him now. 

until finally finally, he relaxes. spent and exhausted. too afraid to open his eyes and face the lamplight, face what could be in eddie’s expression. he drifts..

eventually he gets up, blows his nose and splashed water on his face, turns off all the lights and get back under the warm blanket. fills his lungs. sighs. whispers, ‘m’sorry’ 

‘don’t say that. there’s nothing to apologise for’ eddie’s so close, so warm. 

‘no one’s supposed to ever, see that.. it’s okay if you want to leave’ 

‘steve. why the fuck would i leave you right now?’ 

‘who’d wanna date someone who acts like that? it’s. it’s not good eddie. but, but it’s okay. i’m used to being alo-.’ 

‘please stop stevie. your breaking my heart here. i want to stay, i want to be here with you. i really really like you steve.’ and steve’s cheeks feel wet again. he feels flayed open and young, like a little kid who fell off the swings and everything is different suddenly. 

later later when eddie picks robin up from work she stalks in to where steve’s wrapped up on the couch. curls up into his side and exhales. she bites into his bicep. huffing a sad, annoyed little ‘dingus’ before grabbing his hand and fiddling with his fingers. 

steve feels his eyes prickle again. looking up at the ceiling he croaks out a small ‘sorry.’ for the day. for everything. for anything he can be. and everything he can’t. 

robin kneels on the sofa right next to him. growling a little and placing one of her hands at his sternum and the other at the same height on his back. like she’s forcing herself inside him, holding him together. her hands start to rub up and down quickly, frenzied and grounding for both of them. steve let’s his head hang. eyes closing at the sensation. he grunts. robin grunts back. 

eddie joins. sitting at his other side. slipping a hand in steve’s hair, soothing his scalp with long scratching fingers. and steve humms, sighs, keens. eyes closed he drifts but not away from his body, instead into it. with gratitude, and warmth. at the centre of the two best things that ever happened to him. willing to try again. be just, better. never perfect. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖

pt 3 snippet

a little happier for u @pearynice <3

ty @spectrum-spectre @vampyreddiemunson @fangirlycupcake @grandwretch for ur tags and additions, it was very inspiring

and tags for lovely @irethsune @willim-billiam-byerson @2jug2head

#hope this is okay #i know the comfort isn't like loads but #unmasking is fucking hard #and hes simply doing his best #autistic steve harrington #steddie #platonic stobin #hotlunch #my fic #steve harrington needs a hug #but he gets one so its okay #feel nervous about posting this but let’s fucking go my dudes #pls let me know if u like it 👉👈

[lomlompurim]

respost separated from the og post bc I really liked this silly little thing I made

And a little extra of my own

little binghe has a goal in this life and it only gets worse once he mets sqq, no one dares to threaten his position as sqq's future wife, he literally was born to be his spouse!!

#scum villain's self saving system #svsss #sillies #bingqiu #人渣反派自救系统 #svsss fanart #luo binghe #shen qingqiu #tianlang jun #I like to think little bunhe asked his father to let him write letters to his misterious future husband #to get to know him more before their wedding #and tlj hopeless romantic that he is of course says yes #zzl! go for a reliable mailman of the court! #so one day sqq still is on the way to become peak lord and start recieving letters apparently from tlj's child??? #so weird but eeh its okay its a way to check on how the protagonist is doing! #so he displays his full autistic caring mother rizz on those letters #and binghe swoons everytime he reads his poetry #and his tales about monsters and artifacts and some weird stories sqq makes up for him #(he is telling him about anime) #idiots in love #binghe thinks they are courting from distance #sy thinks he has a very adorable pen pal #sxy is in the corner probably keeping an eye on everthing to be sure her son is safe #tlj is living this arranged marriage like a telenovela

[obsob]

making and weaving and loving! like we have done for millennia!!

#mine #original #ough. hello. #happy new year!!!!! first drawing of th year!!!!!!!! #also LAKSBF 15k followers. hello. welcome #i taught bf how to crochet n hes making a blanket....the irl insp for this piece... #im so proud of these colours....i used an actual real life colour palette..n i think that is th way forward #also . gradient maps my beloved #why have i always refused ur warm embrace....... #dont pay attention 2 the wool bowls okay ive seen a picture of one like once #i do want one however. tho why r they so expensive #its a bowl w a hole in it. relax #ive been listening 2 the silmarillion audiobook as ive been working...i love it sm its like incomprehensible #like. idk what ur talking abt but i love it all th same!! #i tried reading it last year n was like.......okay anyway #rereading gay nuclear disaster book rn....natasha pulley would it kill u 2 write a smut scene #i want 2 see th horrible little scientist man get railed #next book after this is . 1030 pages oaodghsdugd #my goal is to read 50 books this year but i do not think that will happen bc i refuse 2 read books less than 400 pages skjdgbskjd #someone ask me about books. i have so many opinions abt books #okay good evening. i leave u w love

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged #back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this #department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being #alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever #badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of #guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too #i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time #it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally. #evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay #they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their #desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even #if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years #they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg #and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone. #ruporas art

[gunstellations]

confessions

#hankcon #detroit become human #my art #hank anderson #connor detroit #this can be read either way #i initially started this out while i was sad and i drew connor #i think that if connor were to confess first he would get rejected at the beginning by hank deflecting it awkwardly #but then i was okay while drawing and somehow it ended up kind of sweet if you look at it from another angle #so that hank is the one confessing here #but also connor is going absolutely rigid in a very soft way #i like that intepretation because you cant see connors face so you dont know what hes thinking aside from what you can take from his body #language #its either a happy piece or a sad piece if you want it so! #i like to think it gets awkward at first but then they make up later #they both have a lot to sort out about themselves! but they bring out the better in each other #and in my timeline they are intertwined enough that theyre inseperable #thats enough ramblings for now love and peace 🤞🤞

[trobeds]

i know the hunger games isnt about romance i know it isnt a love story but. theres just something so beautiful in the way peeta is the personification of what it means to heal and he /is/ the dandelion and the bread and the hope that things can be better even if they wont be fixed. even if the nightmares dont stop he will still hold her. wake her up and tell her shes alive. shes safe. and when its over and done and theres no more saving or protecting or trying their absolute hardest to die if it means keeping the other alive, the horrors dont stop. but katniss will still find that comfort in peetas arms.

#and peeta Goes Through It too but hes there!!!!!!!! hes always there and hes kind and artistic and peaceful and good and everything that #the games could never destroy (the hijacking couldve but he found his way back. he still wonders whats real sometimes but he knows. he know #who he is. a painter a baker and a boy who loves. she reminds him of that love too) #anyways :( katniss longs for peetas arms and nobodys been this gentle with her since her father died and she stopped letting her mother #hold her. and peeta does #something about the way he holds her so so gently with so much love and care despite all the destruction and how peeta counteracts the fire #in katniss. the one that tells her she needs to protect and defend and prioritize keeping her family alive and keep her guard up. but hes #there to comfort her and hold her and protect her and those r all the things katniss doesnt get the privilege of thinking about because she #always thinking about who she needs to protect #its so personal to me. god i am Not okay rn #i have a rehearsal before school tmr and i am sooooo sleepy but. insane thoughts can never wait #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #peeniss #< the real ship name #the hunger games #thg #late night thoughts & all that jazz #🫀

[brother-emperors]

TRY AGAIN LATER

it's like. well. its several things.

(Plutarch's Crassus, trans. Warner)

and also this

(ibid.)

that compliment sounds like an insult, baby.

anyway, there's a fun kind of eroticism in being given everything, in taking things that aren't yours without any real consequence, in climbing towards becoming a Roman Alexander, only for one man to deny you, over and over and over again, at every turn. Sulla tried, Crassus did it better. who would put a butcher in their place? who else knows you well enough to do it? who else can match you step for step like this? doesn't it feel like a kind of intimacy, a kind of—

it's also about the 'even sulla kissed my sword/so you want me on my knees too?' innuendo was too good to pass up. that was actually the first line I wrote, I figured out the rest of this to justify making a comic with it

and finally! the sword line is referencing/playing off of Lucan's Pharsalia a little bit because it fucks hard

(Lucan's Pharsalia, trans. Jane Wilson Joyce)

EDIT: oh, and that's a public domain anatomical illustration of a heart. you know how it is with love and hate.

#marcus licinius crassus #gnaeus pompeius magnus #tris homines #komiks tag #roman republic tag #drawing tag #its about how many ways i can create situations where i have crassus call pompey a brat #the subtext going on here is that pompey and sulla are in the middle of their political falling out #and pompey is like. okay motherfucker. and crassus is something that sulla had under his hand #but uhhhhhh. its not going that well for pompey. because sulla got there first #and left his mark #dont worry tho pompey you'll get him in the end. your descendants are going to marry each other #and name two of their sons directly after both of you!! fucking wild. LOVE it #can't get much closer than that! altho pompey did try something when he married publius crassus' widow #crassus himself however holds true to his statement of 'no one is ever going to touch me ever again.' #he's like. not alive right either so it'd be hard to pin him down anyway #too haunted. your ghosts your dead your ancestors have escaped your family house buddy

[medicalunprofessional]

#psychonauts #gristol malik #theodore malik #<-Yeah. Hes there #psychonauts 2 spoiler #nightmaretheater #time on canvas: 8 hours #also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger #rips my hair out rips my eyes out #Hi Ugly. Points at him #travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay #you will get my message #as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level. #im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that #(its his parents (he only knows propaganda)) #i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him #kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game #<-once again. Not excusing his actions #also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops

[seagull-scribbles]

Turtles of Time

<prev [2/7] next>

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #leonardo splinterson #donatello splinterson #raphael splinterson #michaelangelo splinterson #april o'neil #Casey Jones #Master Splinter #out of touch turts day #I changed the lyrics a little but it’s fine it’s all good #mikey would approve I think #I honestly believe with all my heart hes are the easiest versions to draw #I’m sure you’ve figured out what all the different parts are now but if not #thats okay youll get it by the next part #which btw brownie points to hiwever can guess whats next xx #casey looks like shit but idc #i also put him behind april instead of under everyone but we have to live with that #its an easy fix that i am not doing lmao #did this one and the last one when i was sick so #hopefully ill do the next one by next week but if not who cares #maybe the first person to guess what next could get a little silly sketch as a prize? that be cool

[b4kuch1n]

THEE audiodrama disguised as podcast

#sherlock and co #s&co #sherlock holmes #john watson #mariana ametxazurra #Ive been thinking abt these design SO much lmao. even while doing other things #decided to take cues from acd/granada more. hence sherlock's headband to mimic slicked back hair #and I went with Colors bc. well first of all Im a clown. but second of all I recall some stuff abt victorian fabrics and uh. the wonder of #arsenic green etc #they were enjoying the colors I can commit to some #and. okay Im so real with u Im also a long haired john truther bc he has a podcast of course he'd have long hair but #I think its gonna take a Hot minute. currently this is still like the slightly-grown-out regulation cut #john's jacket is bc he and sherlock are 90s kids. this was a moment of enlightenment to me. I can give john every windbreaker on earth #mariana gets the jean jacket bc I like to imagine she's a y2k kid #(sherlock I think is only 90s kid in year of birth that man's childhood was skipping class to burn shit in the wood) #(but he canonically sews which I fucking love so much. he has not bought new clothes for almost a decade #if a shirt's disintegrating no it isn't. not on his watch) #a lil sad I cant figure out how to give them hats lol I feel like thats the most victorian thing there is. a stupid hat #I can at any moment give one of them a beanie. but I refuse #there are. like a Hoard of other scribbly sketches I did to get used to drawing them. but those are for me those are not for the public #and also theyre in my sketchbook and Im too lazy to scan them #happened mostly during lunar new year lol. I was getting Hard whipped then thank u s&co for carrying me thru #ok I do other things now. have this for a while ok? thank u #have a good night lads. enjoy motion

[quietwingsinthesky]

do you think fourteen has a breakdown one day about just how much time with donna he lost. it was that easy, the whole time, for the metacrisis issue to be resolved, and instead of him ever figuring that out, he lost years and years of a life he could have had with her. he stood on the outskirts of her wedding. he wasn’t there when she was pregnant with rose and wasn’t there when she had her. he wasn’t there for a thousand little moments where he could have made her laugh. every time she looked for him without remembering who she was looking for could have been a time he was standing next to her. and he’s never going to get that back. time machine at his fingertips and yet somehow the one thing he never has enough of is time.

#it’d make him more grateful that he came home to her in the end but god. god. #and its not a long amount of time. not to someone like him. but at the same time. isnt it. #isnt every second that he could have had and never will get the chance to an loss so infinite that he cant stand it #its not that donna was alone without him. its not that she had no one else there to support her. #but he couldnt be there. #‘you were okay without me’ is such cold comfort when he could have been a part of her life. she could have been okay *with* him. #sorry im losing my mind over how much they both lost and how theyll have to live with that and move on from it and take what they have #and hold onto it so tightly #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #donna noble

[skitskatdacat63]

2011 Italian Grand Prix - Vettonso

#SORRY. I AM GOING THROUGH IT. #this is why i had to put vettonso merchant in my bio bcs if i dont post them at least 5x a week ill die #their dynamic in this race is like actually indecipherable to me #cause this is the race where fernando 'allegedly' said fuck you my boy #but their dynamic is so odd???? #like they have that happen in the cooldown room #and then generally ignore each other on the podium #and then we randomly get this cute moment and then they INSTANTLY go back to being awkward #but then in the press con they keep talking about each other and looking at each other???? okay :) #sometimes im just like. yeah no i give up on trying to understand them #not rly noticeable in these buts its so funny how seb pats him to get his attention #and then immediately goes to cheer as if to be like 'huh what i didnt touch uou' #to ref that one post about this race said: he didnt wanna embarrass himself again by getting turned on #stealing this from c cough cough but hes like 'oh no!! if he looks at me im gonna embrass myself on broadcast again!!' #anyways i love this moment and the pics from this are like my fav ever 2010s pics of them so yeah <3 #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #we do a little bit of f1 #*its so odd i completely remember finishing this and scheduling it last night #*but when i woke up it was only half done??? im still confused #2011 italian gp

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Besties can't enable pvp on each other, right?

[First] Prev <--> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan jingyi #lan sizhui #jin ling #ouyang zizhen #nameless red diciple #Xue yang #yep that's right he's finally showing his true colours #I love the fact that SL and XXC's friendship is *so* legendary that even these teens know it's sacred #What they are wrong about is the fact that besties *can and will enact violence on each other* #If you aren't challenging your buddy to spar on the regular....are you really friends? #if you aren't immediately locked in a one arm fireman carry and held over their head like a handful of grapes.....whats the point #*This* is what all teens need to know about relationships. Its okay and encouraged to fight your friends. (half joking) #Don't worry about the juniors btw #XY just scoots them out of the house and makes them sit on the porch outside. I wonder what wacky hijinks they'll get up to out there? #Hopefully nothing dangerous! #My brain and body have been torched by my workload lately but I'm starting to adjust now B'*) Slowly we are getting to the end of season 1 #Thanks again for all the love and support <3 I'm leaving a half dead rat on your floor for you.

[haunted-xander]

So. Fatebreaker, right? Ryne's biggest fears made manifest, daddy issues personified, yes?

He's an amalgamation of Thancred and Ran'jit, his face, his voice and his weapon is Thancred's, but his body, his fighting style and his words are Ran'jit's.

Throughout the fight Fatebreaker constantly makes comments about how only he can protect Ryne, only he can provide for her, only he has even the right to so much as stand beside her, to be in her general presence. He's possessive and obsessive, repeatedly asserting that she is HIS and his only. Which is exactly what Ran'jit says basically every time we encounter him.

But this time it's in Thancred's voice. This time it's with the voice and face of a man she actually cares about.

Ryne isn't scared of Thancred, she never has been. Even when she first met him she was barely even nervous (as clearly shown in Thancred's short story). There's a lot of different feelings happening between those two, but fear has never been one of them.

But now, after things have gotten so much better, she is scared of Thancred becoming like Ran'jit. Because if Thancred was just a little further gone, if he was just a little less compassionate, he would've. It wouldn't be hard for him to go down the same path as Ran'jit did, to be incapable of letting go of the ghost of that girl he loved so so much to the point he'd stubbornly grip anything close to her he could. He didn't, but the fact he could've is terrifying.

It makes his final words, words that are Thancred's, so very important. This is her deepest fears made manifest, but he still says he wants her to be happy. Her happiness not only matters, but is important to him.

#Now we -the audience- ofc knew Thancred was unlikely to go down that path #bc if theres one thing hes been consistent in even in his darkest moments its living up to his loved ones' wishes and legacies #the only time he even speaks against it is his conversation w minfilia in amh araeng #and thats more a case of all his (poorly) repressed grief and stress exploding than him actually meaning what he says #and trying to control rynes life after minfilia literally told him to just let her live her life goes directly against that #i think about fatebreaker a lot. as i do all things related to ryne & thancred #and to me its so important to note that hes more or less ran'jit with just enough thancred in him to be *too* thancred for comfort #its so. her greatest fear isnt even the thing thats been haunting her her whole life (being forced to fill in for minfilia) #its having her free will taken from her by the person she cares about the most (thancred) #and for him to be trapped in endless suffering because he cant move on #just like ran'jit did and was #its not even necessarily that shes all that scared of ran'jit himself #what shes scared about is caring about someone like that #because then she wont say no or try to be anyone but minfilia #(thats also why this fear appears specifically after things get better) #(because she was already ready to forsake herself if it eased thancred suffering) #okay im gonna stop now i need to sleep gnight everyone #ryne waters #thancred waters #ran'jit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles #at this point i should make a tag for ryne ramble posts i make so many of them #tomorrow. maybe. if i remember #edit: i made it #xander being insane about ryne

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[sashimiyas]

cw: reader calls themself a whore

mama miya has been yelling at osamu every time she finds out her son’s spent most of his day in the shop.

“ya keep doing that and ya gonna grow old alone.”

“yeah, yeah.” osamu would brush off. he’s got time. and the shop needs his.

but then he’s forty and he realizes that life has passed him. he’s committed to business ventures, made partnerships with companies and brands that he’s never dreamed of and shit… ma was right.

he’s old…er. and still alone. at one point, it didn’t bother him. now, osamu recognizes loneliness in its partnership. it’s vacant, an ominous breeze that tickles at his neck.

and then there’s you, cheeky with a cherry between your lips. you seat yourself across the line stranger who seems weary but also put together in ways that you could never be.

the old fashioned in your hand has you feeling bold, old…er than your long abandoned favorite, the margarita.

when you sit in the leather seat, air puffs at the backs of your knees.

swirling your drink with its black, thin straw, you tilt your head while popping the cherry from your mouth by the stem, “the party’s over there.”

his gaze lingers to the dance floor. bodies mingle with each other he cannot discern one from the other. they don a fashion he cannot comprehend, pants too large and patterns louder than the music itself. bright beneath the laser lights, osamu feels like he’d cast a shadow should he join.

“i haven’t partied since…” oh god, has it really been a decade? when he glances back at you again, lips puckered against the artificial red of the garnish, pretty and young and just as sweet, he suddenly feels embarrassed.

the feeling is unknown, as if he’s never felt it before. which is odd since osamu’s failed many times before. even second hand embarrassment is common with atsumu around.

he’s collected this confidence in the years that has easily been trampled by yours.

“… in a fucking long time.”

you finally suck the cherry between your teeth and follow it with a quick gulp of your drink.

“i partied last night.”

that’s funny, osamu thinks. he’s sure you don’t mean it that way, but it makes him laugh.

“wouldn’t expect nothing less.”

“why? because i look like a whore?”

he’s quick to tsk at your verbiage and by your blooming smirk, it’s the response you wanted. “because ya look like ya know how to have a good time.”

“hmm…” you play with your straw, gaze away from his. “yeah? so do you.”

you quickly glance back to the dance floor then him once more.

“tell me about yourself.”

where does he begin? being a twin? volleyball? miya onigiri? maybe ma was right. he’s gone and grown older alone, but he’s done a lot of shit. he’s a storied man. if someone as pretty as you had gone up to him when he was younger and stupid, he’d have fucked this up. but he’s older now, with stories to tell.

and you’re here in the leather seat across from him, intent to listen.

#reinas.inretrograde #there was supposed to be a scene where the reader bites their nails and osamu nags them #‘get that shit outta your mouth. i’ve got better stuff for you to put in it.’ and you think it’s sexual. it’s not bc he just wants to feed #you. its not until it is #reina.writeshaikyuu!! #this is so niche and particular. no one’s gonna like this and that’s okay lol