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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 3 months

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I don’t know if you already wrote about this so forgive me if this is a repeat question but, what do you think about Leona’s depression? I feel it’s pretty obvious in game and yet it’s always glossed over as him being ‘lazy’ idk but I don’t find many talking about his really shitty mental health with any seriousness.

Surprisingly I haven't addressed this (at least not in detail)! So thank you for bringing this to my attention; I definitely feel like I've heard people (especially Leona fans) discuss this quite frequently. If you look in the right places, you’re sure to find insightful commentary on the subject! I know I certainly have, but I've yet to say my own piece on it yet.

Now, before I actually get to actually rambling, I want to preface this post with a few points so we can walk in knowing the perspective I'm coming from. Analysis isn't a "one size fits all"! My experiences and background will color the lenses through which I view Leona’s mental health.

First and foremost, I usually don't go out of my way to claim, "this character has X condition" beyond what is outright stated or implied in canon. That does NOT mean that I disapprove of fans who may have their headcanons that say otherwise or project onto or relate to characters' mental health. You can consume the media you like however you want! I am just saying that I don't have this preference so I feel somewhat uncomfortable speaking on this matter.

Secondly, I am trying to approach this situation from a very clinical viewpoint (as I do have knowledge in this area). This means that when I look for “implications” or read between the lines, I am doing so as objectively as I can. It’s how I choose to process and understand characters from a health angle. This does not mean that my opinion is certain; you could very well find someone else in this area that gives you the opposite opinion. As always, I warn you that my response is for fun, it is NOT meant to be taken as medical advice.

Lastly, PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE POST before you comment or share your own thoughts. I'm up for having a discussion, but I ask that you not do so without getting the full context of my thoughts. It’s a lot of information, and I did my best to break it down in a way that (I hope!!) is easy to understand.

CONTENT WARNING: due to the nature of the question at hand, I will be discussing or mentioning potentially triggering topics such as ***depression, suicidal ideation, dieting, homophobia, and substance abuse.*** Please look away if you are not in the right headspace to read about such topics.

Okay, let's rip the band-aid off now: I don't think Leona is clinically depressed.

Pause. Rewind. Take note of my careful wording there: clinically depressed. I don't think Leona is clinically depressed. What does that mean, and how does that relate to "being depressed"?

I think when people describe Leona as "depressed", they commonly mean that he "has depression", not that he is just feeling sad or has low self-esteem. By "having depression", I'm going to assume they are referring to "major depressive disorder", which is the technical term for the condition.

"It's just an abbreviation of the longer term. What's the issue with using 'depression'?” you're probably wondering. “You understand that we mean major depressive disorder.” Well, equating the two does NOT a diagnosis make.

Mental conditions such as major depressive disorder are documented in a handbook known as the DSM (or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). The latest version, the DSM-5-TR (5th edition with text revisions), was published in 2022. The DSM is a manual that sets forth criteria for each diagnosis in its pages. Of course, this includes major depressive disorder—and it may surprise you to learn that Leona does not meet its diagnostic criteria.

A diagnosis of "depression" (the term I will henceforth be using as shorthand for the disorder) is much more than having persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, being unmotivated/lazy, and wanting to sleep often. (I bring up these three things specifically because they are the ones I see being pointed at most frequently to “prove” the diagnosis.)

In order to be formally diagnosed, an individual must be experiencing at least 5 or more of the following symptoms during the same 2-week period:

Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day.

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day.

Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

A slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day.

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day.

Recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

At least one of the symptoms should be either 1) depressed mood or 2) loss of interest or pleasure in activities they previously found enjoyable. Furthermore, the symptoms must cause what is known as "clinically significant distress", which is defined by impairment in important areas of functioning. This includes, but is not limited to, socialization, occupation, and/or education. The symptoms must also not be the result of substance abuse or another medical condition, and the individual must ever have experienced mania or hypomania.

Let’s briefly go through each criterion + additional documents and see what evidence there is or isn’t to support it:

We do not have his medical records to cross reference, so for the sake of convenience let’s assume no underlying or additional medical conditions.

We must consider additional context about family, lifestyle, etc. which can confound his symptoms. For example, as a prince, Leona has grown up having most things done for him by servants. This is what he is used to. So when we observe Leona not doing basic things for himself (getting food, doing laundry, making his bed), how much of this can we truly attribute to an underlying condition and how much of this can we attribute to Leona being accustomed to a certain kind of lifestyle?

Leona (at least from what we know of) does not experience mania, nor is he depicted as taking mind or behavior altering substances.

Of the first two criteria, Leona must fit into one: either 1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, or 2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day. These depend on how you interpret his actions and behaviors. Personally, I don’t think Leona strongly fits into 2 because he still has an interest in his hobbies like Magift/Spelldrive and playing chess (though his involvement in it varies depending on the context). I will concede that there is stronger evidence for 1 over 2, as Leona has definitely expressed sadness and despair regarding himself and his future prospects. It is these thoughts that drive him away from home and keep contact with his family at a minimum. It is these thoughts that prevent him from seeing himself as worthy or even capable of change—a sentiment he shares in book 6, when he encourages Jamil but does not grant himself the same kindness or optimism. For this reason, we will go with the first criterion.

He has not experienced notable weight loss nor gain, nor a notable increase or decrease in appetite. Regarding his general diet, Leona has expressed a preference for meat and rejects vegetables. This by itself does not really provide any useful information in of itself; many people have this preference.

Leona does not experience a slowing down of thought. He is still very sharp and quick-witted in responding to his surroundings, especially in potentially dangerous ones, and coming up with an appropriate plan to counter. It can be argued that Leona has had a reduction in physical movement, as many characters often make remarks about how they perceive him as lazy or not doing much. However, this criterion actually refers to the speed at which one completes an activity and as far as I know, Leona is not said to be moving sluggishly, he only conducts himself in a manner that can be described as "lazily elegant". Even if we stretched the definition to encompass long-term goals he is putting off (like graduation), this criteria is still not counted for Leona since the wording used in the DSM-5-TR states “slowing down of thought AND reduction in physical movement” must be present. In other words, both must be true, not just one of them.

Leona does seem to experience some level of fatigue or loss of energy. This could be one way of interpreting his desire to sleep excessively instead of tending to more meaningful matters (like class). Fatigue, in this case, can also refer to emotional or mental fatigue. The sleep, then, can serve as a means of escape from reality for Leona, but it does not indicate actual physical tiredness. Rather, the tiredness can be intangible. This is also a potential explanation for his lack of motivation when it comes to some activities, especially those that demand him to take charge.

Leona does appear to experience feelings of worthlessness, though perhaps not excessive or inappropriate guilt. In fact, I would wager Leona does not demonstrate the latter, although this could be attributed to the fact that we are not in his head and he does not open up to others about his feelings. For example, we still don't know what his feelings are on almost killing Ruggie in a fit of rage. This does not discredit this criterion though, as the wording in the DSM is “feelings of worthlessness OR […] guilt” meaning one or the other suffices. It is no secret that Leona seeks recognition for his skills—something he was denied as a child and even put down for. While he is aware of his strengths, he has moments when he doubts himself (stating that he can’t change, or giving up when he realizes his plans won’t work so what’s the point in trying?), the contributions he can make (even when his older brother reassures him he can help their country), and encouragement from others (Jack telling him his play inspired him).

As I've said before, Leona does not have a diminished ability to think or concentrate. It has been shown to us time and time again that he doesn't do schoolwork not for lack of trying or lack of understanding, but because he thinks of himself as above it. Leona has already been tutored by the finest teachers royal money can buy, so he believes there is not much else for him to learn. He is also not shown to be indecisive--he can make decisions very quickly and can guide others or at least convince them to go along with him.

Leona does not have suicidal ideation or have recurring thoughts of committing suicide/death. While it's true that this is a game rated for ages 4+ (and therefore has restrictions on what content is and is not allowed in it), TWST has demonstrated to us that there are ways to imply suicidal ideation and other dark themes without explicitly saying it. (One notable example is Idia in late book 6, where he drops lines like "I'll go with you" and expresses dissatisfaction with "this world" to Ortho, who is known to be dead. To this, Ortho reassures him and encourages him to keep living. In fact, I could go on a whole tangent about how Idia better fits the criteria for major depressive disorder, but we're not going to get into that here.) The fact that TWST does not really imply this about Leona makes me think this is not true of him.

It can be said that the symptoms Leona does have are clinically significant, as his behavior is shown to have significant impact on his studies to the point where he was held back a grade. This was not because he did not know the material, but because he failed to find the motivation to attend class and to do his assignments. It also appears that Leona didn't really make an effort to work toward his future until book 7, when he actually talks his internship plans and about wanting to graduate.

We may guess that the symptoms persisted for two weeks or more (given Leona’s history and involvement in the main story), but the frequency of the symptoms is unclear since the game controls what we see of Leona and what we don’t.

Taking all of that into consideration, Leona does in fact exhibit depressive symptoms, but only 3 at most (I say “at most” because we have no idea about the true frequency at which some behaviors occur; we aren’t with Leona 24/7, nor has he reported it to us) out of the 8 total criteria. That’s 2 short of a diagnosis.

“But wait, there’s a lot of information missing here! We don’t have medical records, his weight and appetite changes, etc.” That’s true—but see, the main issue I take with diagnosing fictional characters in the first place is that we oftentimes do not know a character in detail enough to understand the full scope of their lives and symptoms. Noticing a few details is one thing and valid to an extent, but to evaluate an individual is not purely observational. This is particularly true for TWST characters, as even though there is plenty of content to refer back to for behavior, there is still a lack of really going into daily activities or deep feelings (beyond the one post-OB flashback for the OB boys). We cannot observe their behavior extensively. Because of this, tons of key criteria may not be visible to us from the audience’s perspective, let alone a medical history or other data to consider for assessment. We will almost always have an incomplete profile of a fictional character. Health is holistic and not entirely based on what we as individuals see or on all anecdotal evidence.

Just as health considers all parts of the individual, we, too, must consider individual cases of depression. It is possible for depression to exist without a diagnosis—many people (especially older adults), unfortunately, go undiagnosed for their condition. At the same time, it is possible for Leona to have depression which manifests in an atypical way. Each person with depression presents differently than the last, so I so not intend to make any blanket statements about the general population with this condition. The only statement I am making here is that based on my own interpretation of the current lore TWST has granted is, Leona Kingscholar does not satisfy the criteria for a formal clinical diagnosis, at least not for major depressive disorder as is defined by the DSM-5-TR.

Interestingly, Leona does fit the diagnostic criteria for a subclinical form of depression in a 1994 version of the DSM (IV). Minor depression or minor depressive disorder, colloquially known as “everyday depression”, is defined as having 2–4 depressive symptoms persisting for more than 2 weeks. One of these symptoms must be either depressed mood or loss of interest. It should be noted that this terminology is no longer recognized, as new information is added and dropped from the manual all the time. The information is flexible based on the consensus of a panel of hundreds of experts. Older versions of the DSM can be horribly outdated and it is not advised to reference them over newer ones. (As an example, "homosexuality" was legitimately listed as a mental illness in the very first version of the DSM. Yikes. Thankfully, this was dropped from the DSM-II. Other conditions like "multiple personality disorder" are granted new names like "dissociative identity disorder" or reworked altogether as our studies and understanding of mental health and science improve. It is important to keep up with the research coming out and update our approaches accordingly.)

We do not currently have a label for Leona’s situation aside from perhaps experiencing depressive episodes (periods of notable sadness lasting under 2 weeks) and exhibiting some depressive symptoms. I must stress that just because we lack a full-blown diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t impact his life. Leona is shown to very clearly be struggling with his mental health. He spends a lot of time in bed, typically cannot be motivated to attend class or do complete assignments, and has moments where he thinks very lowly of himself in spite of the confidence he exudes to others. What's more is that because Leona does not speak to others about what he's going through, it comes off as laziness or arrogance to his peers. Think of it this way: if you have a bad day and snap at a stranger or an acquaintance, the stranger/acquaintance is far less likely to grant you grace or forgiveness for your behavior compared to, say, a friend. They are not as familiar with you, so they will have less patience and are less likely to consider what you may be going through on a personal level. This also applies on a fandom level; if a fan is not actively reading between the lines, they, like Leona's peers, may miss the depressive symptoms he is displaying because they aren't looking for it. How many people can we say are close friends with Leona for him to open up to them about his circumstances? I would say Leona barely even lets his own dorm members be intimate enough with him to let them know about this part of himself. He has Savanaclaw backing him, but he probably does not talk to the mobs extensively. Ruggie is his errand boy, but I doubt Leona pours his heart out to him. And Jack is the newbie who did technically betray their dorm, so Leona might not trust him. Forget about people beyond his dorm. Even his family is not much better off; we've seen that Leona tends to brush off his brother's friendliness and attempts to make amends. There is no strong support system in place for him, which is tricky because Leona perpetuates it by keeping others at bay. In the light novel adaptation of book 2, Leona has an inner monologue about how he is afraid of letting others give him hope because it will encourage him to try again, only to fail another time. I imagine similar logic applies here; he is afraid of showing his vulnerable side because it might give him hope for change when he as late as book 6 expresses that he has given up on himself. I think that this is the detail about Leona most look to when they consider his mental health. The hallmark of depression is, after all, the feeling of perpetual sadness and despair itself. Most do not realize that other factors are considered.

From a clinical lens, it is not “obvious" that Leona is depressed. However, I understand why the prevailing sentiment tends to skew in the opposite direction. For the layman, it may be difficult to distinguish what is and is not clinically significant enough to warrant an actual diagnosis. Again, most will cite the same three pieces of information to support the depression reading: Leona's irritability, his unwillingness to participate, and the rejection he experienced as a child (which has now manifested as self-doubt and low self-esteem). Characters are often judged based on fans' own experiences, and this naturally comes with biases and subjectivity. Thus, some fans may project their own understanding or preconceived notions of what the "typical" depressed person acts like in their head onto Leona. This is normal human empathy at play. I believe that other fans see depression in Leona either because they experience it themselves or are familiar with someone in the same shoes. It can be difficult, and at times we can find solace and solidarity in fiction, especially if we find a character that “speaks to us” and seems relatable. That character may be Leona for some people. If you see do see him in this light or relate to his situation, I’m not invalidating your feelings. On the contrary, I'm happy that you were able to find comfort in him and that a piece of media you love can serve as a coping mechanism. You keep on doing you!

It is at this point that I will reiterate what I said at the start with a little extra nuance: I do not think Leona clinically depressed BUT I do believe he has depressive symptoms and poor mental health as the result of his cumulative circumstances. It is possible for him to have major depressive disorder, but we cannot determine this for certain with the information available to us right now. We are still missing several key components that would typically be considered in the evaluation process.

I think it's important to step back from focusing on labels and instead focus on the individual experience, and how you can still grow as a person and not let a perceived label define you. Leona is definitely working on himself! Changing, particularly changing a deeply ingrained mindset, takes much time and effort. We may not see the progress since Leona tends to hide it and/or we have limited intractions with him. We may not always see giant strides because the process is difficult. Even so, Leona is trying to jump over those mental and emotional hurdles. He's putting his all back into Magift/Spelldrive training. He's attending classes and doing the assignments. He's going home for the holidays. He has an internship planned. He wants to graduate. I've enjoyed following Leona's journey of growth and self-development and seeing all the intense discussion surrounding that. It all comes from a place of love and wanting to support the characters we care about, no matter how we may individually view him.

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langernameohnebedeutung · 6 months

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TBH, I don't consider reducing/hiding scars a minor pet peeve at all. Activists for facial differences have been talking for years about 'disfigurement' being used as shorthand for moral failings. I could blame wanting to lighten the burden on makeup artists, but there's never any hesitation to make villains scarred. It's only if the character is meant to be sexy or heroic that their scars get toned down or removed.

DEFINITELY!

I think there are many aspects to this, the biggest one being the one you mentioned, this dynamic of villain = scarred, hero = not scarred.

And another thing that I hate about it is how especially in adaptions they take a facial difference and make it much smaller, less visible, move it etc. - and then try to pull off the same narrative about this character being perceived as not conventionally attractive. Which immediately becomes incredibly condescending and makes it even worse, especially when they choose a conventionally good-looking character to play that role.

An example:

He is supposed to look "monstrous" - like bro, what does that make the rest of us?

(And just to make the dehumanisation of people with facial differences more obvious: In the source material, this guy had half-lion features)

Another aspect I can think of is the fetishisation of self-hatred in this regard. It is portrayed as "good" when a character with a facial difference (especially a woman, in these tropes) puts herself down - but then in swoops a love-interest to tell how beautiful they are. Meanwhile, a character with a facial difference or something similiar who - for themselves - says: "Hey, actually I like the way I look" - is treated as arrogant and the butt-end of the joke. (There is this Colleen Hoover book I'm thinking of here, as one example, that in my defence I only watched a pretty scathing review of)

But I also think that there are some racial aspects and gender aspects to this. There are probably a lot of people more qualified to talk about these racial aspects of this and maybe I am imagining things or don't see the full scope of it but I definitely feel like they feel far more comfortable doing this "villains have scars" thing with characters of colour - at least relative to the amount of representation characters of colour get to begin with. And it feels like...well, again, I'm not the best person to put this into words but since it usually goes hand in hand with the villain-trope, it feels like an effort to dial up the othering, especially in older shows and movies that use stuff like rituals or something for shock value. To make other races or cultures look sCaRy and DifFeReNt.

Or - just the first example that comes to my mind: The original mirror-verse episode of Star Trek. The reason I'm mentioning this is because it is a piece of media where you can see side-by-side which visual cues writers settled on to make our characters look "evil": One is dialling up the sexy - especially with the women who are all much more horny - another is giving mirror!Sulu a big facial scar. And on the surface level, the reasoning even makes sense - that world is a lot more brutal so it makes sense that someone would have scars. But for one, there is the interesting choice to make Sulu the character to give it to. Not to mention: Our "normal"-verse characters also see fights and injuries. They could have scars very reasonably. Star Trek is all about inclusivity - but there is a notable absence of e.g. scarring of visible body differences in the original show - they even used body doubles and selective shots to hide James Doohan's missing finger. But the moment we go into an "evil" universe, there is facial difference and it is on the body of a man of colour.

And then you have the issue that female characters must not have visible scars in most cases - because they have to be eye-candy for the audience. And considering the huge pressure that is already placed on women to be beautiful, it feels like another body standard in the media ("we will show women suffering in all shapes all the time to the point of being exploitative, but also they heal back perfectly and don't appear changed at all. So the audience gets to eat their misogyny cake and eat it too.) Meanwhile, some male hero characters (usually action heroes, video game heroes) do get to have scars or some facial difference to show their "journey" and how much they hardened and what they survived - which I think can be a positive message - "hey, your scars talk about what you went through and what you survived and that you're a badass!" - but women get this to a much smaller degree despite having extra tons of pressure placed upon them to look beautiful so it feels really cool (also - referring back to my first point, self-empowerment is also treated as negative and almost egomanical because informing a woman that she is beautiful is a man's job)

(An example: I watched a a Netflix adaption of a book I had read recently and in the book, two major female characters have an identical scar on their face and that is pretty relevant to the story - and they just decide to place in the palms of her hands instead where it is much less visible and the scenario behind the first woman's injury becomes a lot less believable than the one in the novel)

And the thing is, I don't even always buy that it to save on make-up or effects in a lot of cases because often they are productions that have tons of budget for other things and a lot of movies and shows can show their characters for half the episode/movie with scrapes on their face and blood on their face etc. I have a hard time believing that this is so much harder to do than a scar.

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pinbones · 14 days

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If there's one thing I wanna nitpick about the asexuality and sex thing, it's this:

While I get that conversations online about acespecs do get derailed, I have an issue with the idea that "aces can like sex" is a harmful or annoying additon to posts stating the opposite, or that the entire idea itself is "just conforming" (having sex as an asexual is appparently conforming to society?!).

I understand why it's an annoying addition to some people, I really do, especially when it's not meant to open up the conversation but instead to shut it down. But just like every form of oppression and harmful expectations/stereotypes, it's best to take broad statements and make them practical ("anyone could want or not want sex" -> "don't expect any person to fit a mould for sex") than it is to say "aces don't like sex! don't derail!"

Don't you think, for example, an allosexual person who struggles with sexualised perception (such as a bisexual and/or aromantic person) would benefit from a separation of "attraction" and "sex"? Don't you think everyone would?

And what about aces who DO like sex, huh? It's alienating to be considered non-default, and pushing a 'default' and telling people not to derail it is not helping. There are a bajillion posts on the asexual tag about not liking or being interested in having sex, it's the #1 ace myth across the board, and parading this (not just simplistic but) incorrect view as "the asexual sex conversation" is misinformative.

Let's try sex-related language for sex-related conversations, yeah? Sex-positive vs has sex, wants sex vs feels attraction, feels no attraction vs virginity... at no point should "asexual" or "allosexual" appear with the DEFINITION of any of these terms. They might be a serviceable shorthand to you, but not to everyone.

Both asexuality and allosexuality are part of the conversation -- like I said, I get it, I really do -- but this stereotype and its ramifications are everywhere in asexual communities and outside of them. "Asexual dating" meaning dating without sex instead of the broader topic of dating without attraction, "asexual kink" meaning nonsexual kink instead of exploring kink without attraction...

And what sucks is this catch-22 thing of either starting conversations like these and being dismissed, or joining into existing conversations and being shut down, because it's considered part of a 'different conversation' (why?) but that conversation isn't the right one. Asexual sex isn't allosexual sex, but it gets pushed into there. Allosexual disinterest in sex isn't asexual, which makes it unfortunate that not liking sex is considered to be an ace thing. This sucks, right?

Honestly we should just say what we mean and consider ramifications for others as much as we can, which will hopefully make our conversations more productive and less harmful/alienating.

Which is honestly the goal for all online queer topics when you think about it *shrug*

#ace #asexual #asexuality #should i tag alloromantic or nah?#btw this isn't a m.atur.e post this is a topic for young people too so i refuse to flag it #rant tbh ><#another day another rant

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woosh-floosh · 4 months

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IIt’s a crazy bold move for Matt Johnson to play pretty much the same character as the one he plays in Nirvanna the Band the Show (which in turn is based on himself) in The Dirties, a movie where he plays a SCHOOL SHOOTER.

TBH I ended up relating a lot to Matt’s character, so much so that I ended up frantically searching up if my thought patterns are “normal” (at one point in the film Owen admonishes Matt for “always acting” and “always being conscious of yourself” and that’s like the curse afflicted by autism masking innit?). But relating to the characters even though you know they’re gonna commit unspeakable violence is kinda the point of the movie, yeah? It maps pretty closely to a classical tragedy, doesn’t it? The whole thinking to myself “He isn’t really gonna do it! He can’t! He’s too much like me! He’ll get help!” but he does do it, and I knew he would because I read the blurb of the movie.

I guess there is something to be said about how autistic traits are often used as shorthand for someone being creepy, violent, or dangerous. Always “acting,” socially isolated, unable to connect with peers, only communicating with others through the lens of an “obsession,” strange body language, dressing strangely, being socially and developmentally “behind” their peers…

During my school days the shy quiet kids that did nothing but get their work done and go home were often called ‘school shooters’ behind their backs. It's a strange feeling knowing that people would probably say the same thing about me if only I fit the profile a bit better.

Something else about the movie obsession as well and wanting to make a movie that is “real” speaks to me as well.

Well first that is another bit of strange self awareness by the director. Matt Johnson has said that early in his career he only wanted to film “real life” because people who do not know they are being filmed make the best actors. That’s why many of his projects use the real reactions of the public and loose scripts for characters to fill with improv! Maybe if he was more fucked up he would be more like Matt (the character)....

(Of course we could probably sit here and name many directors who turned abusive on set to capture “realness,” though none of them used the public!)

It’s easy why as a kid I picked up what was shown in movies and TV as being the “ideal.” I guess that’s normal, how things are portrayed in movies is an endless discussion that affects how people think. People like to romanticize their life as if it was a movie. But it’s different for me in some ways, most people don’t take movies and TV as gospel on how to communicate with other people. It’s one of the questions on the CAT-Q after all. Once in high school, I said about some event (don’t remember what) happening “feeling just like it does in high schools on TV.” My friend gave me a funny look and asked what I meant by that.

At the bonfire Matt describes his “cake plan” to a girl with a tone best described as “oblivious to her disinterest.” The girl responds that it’s probably not a good idea, it’s too over the top and it’s something that would happen in a movie, it wouldn’t work in real life. Matt responds with “Yeah, but what happens in movies works…”

Zooming out a bit I think there is something to be said about many Matt characters (the Dirties, NTBTS, Matt and Bird Break Loose, and Operation Avalanche to an extent) relying heavily on “plans.” Matt in the Dirties helps Owen concoct plans in order to win over Chrissy, and writes down a shooting schedule in much more detail than is probably expected for a school project. (I think Matt’s plans for Owen are supposed to be a parallel to the type of thorough planning needed for making movies, which is a bit ironic considering the loose improved shooting of the ACTUAL movie). Matt in NTBTS is constantly making plans in order to get a show at the Rivoli and often gets frustrated with Jay when he doesn’t follow through with plans or tries to change them halfway. This culminates in a scene in the final episode in season 2 where, stuck on a roof, Matt uses spray paint to write out a new numbered plan on a wall (a plan that only involves breaking the AC unit and then waiting for the repair person to arrive to sneak out the locked door). Almost as if he can’t possibly keep a plan straight in his head without it being concretely written down. When I opened commissions for the first time last summer I was so stressed that I wrote a detailed planning sheet in order to predict how every interaction would go. Only by writing it down did this plan feel real.

But going back through some interviews I was surprised to learn how much Matt Johnson (the character in the Dirties) is based on Matt Johnson’s (the director) actual experience in high school (the sweatpants story was real!!). I guess it’s just weird to watch a movie that is empathetic towards the school shooter (while still accurately capturing the horror of violence)! One of things that inspired him to make this movie was how ascribing “evil” to someone ends conversations, strips people of their humanity. It’s scary to think about how anyone is theoretically capable of doing this, how it could be us as well. It’s not uncommon for autism (or previously aspergers) to be pointed at by the news media as a “reason” for why people do these things.

Towards the end of the film Matt reads the definition of a psychopath from Dave Cullen’s Columbine book. (Paraphrasing here) Emotions, body language, facial expressions, and voice modulations can all be mimicked on cue. His life is a con, a personality fabricated with the purpose of deceiving people. Matt turns to Owen and asks him if that reminds him of anyone.

#the dirties #my The Dirties autism analysis essay #I really liked this movie! I thought it was really good! If you're in the US you can watch it free on Plex rn! No account needed!#maybe other places too #I'm always unsure when recommending movies like this if I should mention the poorly aged/problematic things #Like the liberal use of the f slur and r slur and the brief shot of blackface that goes commented on (?????)#like is mentioning that necessary? I don't know

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nothorses · 1 year

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If you have the energy I’d like to hear you talk abt what you value in atheism as a belief system! (This is meant positively I’m just bad at Words, if the question puts you on the spot then no pressure to answer!)

Hello!! Yes!

I think "belief system" is maybe the wrong word- imo, a big part of what makes atheism what it is is that there isn't any kind of organization, there's no system, and the only "requirements" are... well, ultimately just that you call yourself an atheist.

I've seen a ton of different ways to define the word, and a ton of different people call themselves that- or something else- for different reasons; my point just being that it's a really diverse, really complex label, and ultimately I think it works about the same way queer identity labels do: you decide if it applies to you, and if you decide it does, then it does! There's nobody to tell you whether you're right or wrong about that; that's sort of the whole point.

I grew up atheist, and aside from a couple of edge cases I learned about in my 20's, my known extended family is entirely non-religious. I say "three generations of atheists" because I recall one great-grandma who had some angel-related paraphernalia and I don't really remember her deal about it, and because "atheist" is a close enough shorthand; some of my family would probably rather describe themselves as "agnostic", but their reasoning, when I've asked, is largely that they think "atheist" means "anti-theist".

I also say that because my experience in learning about religion has been... kind of unique. I live in an area that is 60% non-religious; I think a good amount of that is that people who grew up with some Christian influence in their life decided not to pursue it themselves. Still, it's not super common to talk about religion here, and religious influences- while they still very much exist- aren't really named for what they are.

What that means is, essentially, that I absorbed a lot of values and ideas as a kind that came completely detached from any reasoning. And I'm a painfully introspective (read: anxious) person; I spent a lot of time reflecting on those values from a very young age, and I was encouraged to do so, in many ways, by the adults around me.

I distinctly remember being about 10 years old, in a car with my mom and stepdad, and wondering about why people Did Good Things. Was it selfish- because it made them feel good? What motivation was there to be charitable and generous, if not for some kind of reward? I knew I wanted to do good, and I knew that part of that was internal satisfaction, but that didn't feel right as an answer. I decided later that this was a function of human nature, to help each other- and even if it was an evolutionary community-building thing, doing good was also a way of building a happy, sustainable life with full and healthy relationships.

I have never understood the "what is the purpose of life?" question- it's been pretty obvious to me from a young age that there isn't one, and there doesn't need to be. We weren't "put on the planet" in the first place. We're here because of a beautiful string of semi-random events, and we get to decide what to do with the opportunities and hardships that comes with.

When I was 12, I decided, on a walk home from school, that my "goal" in life was going to be to be the best person I possibly could. I have spent a lot of time since then working out what that really means; along the way, I realized that in order to do this, I also needed to be a happy person. I needed to heal and grow and live a sustainable life, and I needed to value myself and my inherent worth.

This is a lot of rambling to say, essentially: I think atheism means different things to different people, but I think the idea that it's some kind of void of experience and value is plainly ignorant and genuinely damaging.

This is just a snapshot of the ways in which I currently recognize atheism to have influenced my life, and there's a lot more I could touch on as well! But the idea that we choose what's important is core to a lot of atheism, I think; and there is a genuinely beautiful value system that follows from this.

I choose what's important to me, and others choose the same for themselves. I choose my goals and "purpose", and others do the same for themselves. In a lot of ways, that heterogeneity is part of what makes communities work: understanding and appreciating differences in value systems and worldviews means including more and more of what each individual has to offer.

None of this is exclusive or universal to atheism (and again, the label itself is pretty broad depending on who you talk to) but it's an example of the ideas that can follow from certain questions pretty inherent to the idea that there isn't a higher power.

#atheism

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kaseythinksaboutgames · 3 months

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I saw a post today that gave me pause and I’m just gonna explain my thoughts on it

So. Judging by the teehee, this is meant to be inflammatory, but I don’t wanna attack the person who posted this, just their argument, and I figure the best way to go about it is by analyzing the games’ varying respect and prejudice towards cultures, and the history of anthropology:

First off, “tribal” is just used as shorthand for low-tech in the fallout fandom, with the average white player not aware of the racist connotations, especially since European culture has relied on it as a term to delegitimize groups by making them sound “petty, smaller, and distant from our own way of life.”

Now, in fallout 1, the low tech cultures are actually handled with a degree of respect, something that the rest of the series did not follow the example of. The main two that come to mind are Shady Sands and the Khans, who came from vault 15. The experiment there was putting people from vastly different cultures and ideologies in a cramped environment over capacity to create conflict and see how it would be resolved. In the end, the vault dwellers agreed to avoid all-out war by opening the vault and going their separate ways, with these two cultures being half of the four that left.

Shady Sands’ culture is a mutation of something Dharmic, maybe Hinduism or Buddhism, but all that’s left is the concept of Dharma, now changed into a mythological figure. It’s referenced by a few townspeople in exclamations and sayings, but not expanded on much.

Upon starting the radscorpion quest, if you act surprised that Razlo (the village‘s doctor) is so well-educated, he takes offense and says that living in stone huts doesn’t make you less intelligent or uneducated before cutting the dialogue tree short.

The khans lack much characterization in this game, ultimately being defined through their aggression and emphasis on “taking back what we deserve” from shady sands, who used the G.E.C.K. to make fertile farmland. Some use guns, but most of them rely on spears in combat.

Very little is done in 1 to trivialize or delegitimize these people, especially since the Khans’ continued existence makes them a bane on the region, and Shady Sands has a chance at becoming one of the most powerful forces in the region.

However… 2 is where these things begin to change.

Fallout 2 derives inspiration from the book “Earth Abides”, especially the message that in a post-apocalyptic population, every life carries critical knowledge that could be lost for centuries if not taught properly. We see the aftermath of that idea in the Oregon tribes, where people have lost their ties to the old world and started new cultures.

This idea isn’t bad, I think it fits the tone of fallout for the old world to become something mysterious and forgotten, or a cautionary tale for new cultures that arise. It’s the execution that raises problems, as this is the first game in the series to create that “tribal means low-tech” shorthand that has so many bad connotations. Worse, the aesthetics of these cultures now borrow heavily from stereotypes, the whole “Hollywood natives” idea covered in face paint and “exotic” attire.

The game’s narrative mostly forgets about these cultures and considers them insignificant compared to the western-style cultures you encounter on your quest. Even when it does focus on them positively, there’s a tinge of “noble savage” tropes being put into play.

Which brings us to the next entry: fallout 3

In the base game, the only two example that comes to mind is Crow, a “tribal shaman” who “traded in his loincloth for proper armor.” He speaks in allegories and gives you a helmet “made from a spirit of the wind” (an eye-bot) if you accomplish his quest. He’s not particularly notable, but point lookout is where they emphasize things and go down a much worse route.

The point lookout tribe is portrayed as foolish, worshipping “punga fruit” and interpreting a preserved psychic brain as a deity. Their rituals involve hallucinogens and a surgery to remove a portion of the target’s brain, often killing or disabling the one who partakes in it.

It ties into some ideas early anthropologists had, such as the idea that nature worship, animism, and similar spiritual concepts were signs of a “primitive” culture that would “evolve” to be monotheist over time.

Finally, we look at New Vegas.

New Vegas doesn’t bring up the tribes in the base game much, beyond mister house “civilizing” them and forcibly erasing their cultures to fuel his fantasy of making Vegas the way it was before the war. Honest Hearts delves into them more and in a way that’s been heavily criticized.

The three tribes the DLC focuses on are the dead horses (the only part-indigenous faction in the game based on the “some folk from the res” line), the sorrows, and the white legs. Both the dead horses and the sorrows are led by Mormons who are proselytizing them, and we’re never given an option to truly criticize this.

The sorrows are especially infantilized, and their “innocence” is treated as an important thing, with your choices either preserving or ending it. The dead horses view the outside “civilized” world as strange, with comments about your use of caps as currency being strange, vehicles being unreliable, etc., all used to fit the idea of a technophobic, superstitious culture rather than bring up dialogue. The white legs are given no culture beyond violence and chaos.

Now that we’ve gone over the “tribals” in fallout, I want to talk about anthropology as a field. Its early European practitioners primarily viewed it as a way to further white supremacism, painting other cultures and races as “primitive” and needing to be brought to the white man’s level.

The field has come very far since those early 1800’s ordeals, but elements of it remain, such as anthropologists studying cultures in undeveloped regions to learn about pre-historic humans, refusing to acknowledge that these people are not in a cultural stasis and have been developing their cultures as well for thousands of years. It’s a field that’s important, studying the origins of humanity and how cultures develop, but it is tinged with white supremacism and eurocentrism.

If a genuinely good anthropologist wrote for fallout, these “tribes” would be much more distinct. We would see different funeral rites, different diets, different values, different aesthetics, all things meant to emphasize the way these people pursued different things for survival, joy, and fulfillment.

But… that’s not the case. Instead, we see racist imagery, inaccurate shorthand, and offensive stereotypes repeated over and over with only some variations, almost always tying into anti-indigenous tropes. If it were written by someone who valued anthropology, sociology, cultural history, or psychology, we would see far more variation than we do in-game, and far less racist imagery.

Fallout has always been written by people lacking diversity, often being made by teams of American white men, with the occasional woman or minority included. This lack of diversity stagnates their writing and understanding of culture, as the only one they see is the one they’ve surrounded themselves with, with no knowledge of others beyond shallow stereotypes.

#fallout

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hypermascbishounen · 4 months

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Ok so old man N!Juste's design is pretty bad. Mostly it's just kind of boring and lazy. Being charitable, they maybe were just trying to avoid an old white-haired man with facial hair looking too much like game Dracula, so they opted for a fuller style. Unfortunately it ended up looking glued on.

It's admittedly very hard to sell new old man pussy in this franchise, when we have had this man serving us cunt for hundreds of years.

In addition, they seem to have kept his shirt as the main tie to his original design, but it backfires and makes it look like he's just been wearing the same shirt for decades(Esp when game Juste's outfit was so incredibley vibrant). Even N!Juste's eyes lack the hint of white lashes from the games, which now that he is old enough for white hair to seem expected, fails to communicate he's always had white hair, which in the game made him stand out (among other Belmont's at least).

So, to fix these issues, if I were to design an old man Juste, I would personally go in one of two directions:

Option one: If had to give Juste a beard, I'd want it to distinguish him as a character, and preserve the original intent of his white hair to communicate he's got magical abilities with visual shorthand. So I would go all in and give him a fucking awesome wizard beard.

I think he could slay the Myles Pinkley gender wizards look. This would be appropriately fantastic.

Unfortunately, N!Juste is not allowed to have nice things, which is why his current beard is likely only meant to communicate that he's a drunk and let himself go, similar to N!Trevor's stubble. Rocking wizard beard Juste could only exist, if you're trying to actually have a character be cool.

Option two: But admittedly, I personally wouldn't have given Juste a beard at all. I don't really think it would bring anything to his design, and imo I think some people give a character facial hair just to convey mature male-ness, and not much else. My personal idea for what an older Juste would look like, is probably something similar to Pope Sage (or his twin brother Altar Hakurei), from Lost Canvas.

"So there's this senior citizen..."

Admittedly, it's hard to tell exactly how old Sage is meant to look, when he's 270 and using magic to extend his lifespan. But he's a good example of an aging white-haired prettyboy type, in a shounen known for its beautiful young men. He is also a mentor character, who has specifically personally raised his hot-headed and brash student, and taught him everything he knows - which is mostly wicked goth death powers.

Cool old man and his even cooler son

Obviously, Sage is an unrelated character from his own property. But I feel like he's the best illustration of the sort of design archetype an older Juste could have been in. Maybe if nfcv had a better understanding of other Japanese media, and shounen anime in particular, they might have been able to figure out how to translate a character like Juste to animation better.

#“Why doesn't this post about N!Juste's design have any pictures of it?” bc it physically pains me to look at ok #Anti netflixvania #This ramble is mostly just a window into my dissapointed nerd mind but I still feel that I am right

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sanstropfremir · 1 year

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So what is actually y2k? Because when I look it up it gives me the y2k problem when people thought the computers were going to crash. Which made me go huh then what is the y2k aesthetic? And if possible could you give examples of groups that are doing it whether it's their own spin on it or the more traditional ish way? I delved into the y2k rabbit hole and I'm realizing it's more than low rise jeans and tank tops so I'm shook 😳

please know that i've never felt older than i have in this moment reading this for the first time slfjskkflslfjfjnfnesmmsk.

so the 'y2k aesthetic' had been a term that's evolved out of the nostalgic cycle return of fashion from the late 90s to the mid-ish 2000s. 'y2k' as a term itself means 'year two thousand' (k is shorthand for thousand) and the original y2k does indeed refer to the incoming computer crash that was thankfully avoided in 1999, but in later years has come to be used as a delineating adjective for anything surrounding that specific era.

as far as fashion goes, it's hard to give a precise definition of what was the actual 'typical y2k' fashion because there was pretty wide range of changes and a couple of different subcultures that were prominent influences. most famously and distinctively is probably scene, which is the direct ancestor of eboy/girl fashion, but also there was surfer chic (pukka shell necklaces, tribal tattoos, bleached tips, wearing board shorts to non-swim related functions), skate punk, an obsession with oversized denim and oversized clothing in general, whatever you wanna call the lisa frank aesthetic, and whatever you wanna call whatever was going on with ed hardy, like blingy tattoo chic? i dunno, i don't think anyone can explain that one. this was also the start of the heyday of the branded sportwear trend, popularized by black hiphop and rnb artists starting in the early 90s and continuing up until now, basically. the other thing that i need to stress, as someone who lived through this, is that a lot of it was UGLY. the 'y2k aesthetic' of now has taken the best and most flattering bits of it an combined them with contemporary trends to make everything look good to modern eyes, but the reality of wearing clothes in the 2000s was that shit was just ugly. there were such a messy conglomerate of trends, plus an 'ideal' body type of heroin chic (yes that was actually what it was called) meant that popular styles like lowrise jeans were miserable for anyone who was vaguely normal shaped. also extra long spaghetti strap tank tops are flattering on nobody. it was a profoundly unflattering era for everyone, and it's important to remember that no current version of it truly captures how bad it was, because if it did, it would not have been revived by all these tiktokers obsessed with 'aestheticizing' everything.

the most obvious examples in kpop are sunmi's you can't sit with us, which is quite literally a mean girls (2004) reference, but also is referential to the popularity of zombie media at the time (shawn of the dead also came out in 2004, the walking dead started airing in 2010). the highly maximalist 'bedroom' set has a bunch of 2000s tech (including the coloured imac g3, which is the computer i learned how to type on) in it and is very much on trend with how girls' bedrooms looked at the time.

youtube

another example is jeon somi's dumb dumb, which hilariously came out at the same time, and ALSO has a mean girls reference, although this one plays more on high school media tropes than specific y2k trends, but bc i was in school in that era that tends to be an unconcious association.

youtube

yena's smartphone also uses a lot of y2k visuals in the styling, in particular the heavy hair accessories, but it combines them with a modern slant.

youtube

of course there's also all of newjeans content, which is very explicitly based in a medley of teen y2k aesthetics, but their most true to life styling is probably the one from their fact music awards performance, which pretty authentically hows how much of a mess the era actually was:

youtube

aespa also uses a lot of y2k ideas in their mvs; life's too short features the same bubblegum pink teen girl bedroom idea that shows up in both sunmi and somi's mvs, very obviously is their remake of dreams come true, which is literally an s.e.s song from 1998. but also i'm going to argue that girls has the same energy as early tvxq mvs with the high contrast dramatic colour grading and incredible weird pseudo scene fashion.

for the guys there's less obvious examples, because men's fashion doesn't have as frequent trend indicators, and because pretty much ALL bg fashion is in some way traces back to y2k trends in the first place.

the clearest example is probably enhypen's blessed cursed, which quite literally references y2k (the event) IN the mv, and keeps relatively closely to the popular silhouettes of the time: oversized pants, sportswear, large jewelry, those round sunglasses. and also it uses fisheye lens shots, which were SUPER common in mvs at the time

youtube

there's also the original kpop it boy kangta's mcountdown eyes on you stage, which is so unbelieveably late 90s that if you put the video down to 240p i would have thought it was FROM 1999. stylist whoever made this choice do you want to make out:

youtube

it's shown up in some other places as well, including the recent sungkyu photoshoot with the very oversized denim:

and also in the recent promo photos from sm winter palace, which seems to be taking a messy vaguely winter themed stab at styling that i am thoroughly enjoying:

#basically fashion from the 2000s can be summed up as: rhinestones. plaid. denim. camouflage and fake fur #kpop questions #kpop styling #tbh there's too many examples but like billlie's ring ma bell was very avril lavigne inspired #guerrilla had a lot of skate punk influence #brand new had a bit of it also #its all over the place rn in different incarnations #nostalgia cycles happen in 20-50-70-100yr cycles. so now that we're in the 2020s we're seeing stuff come back from the 00s/70s/50s/20s #but also most 20th century western popular fashion is very interconnected so lots of trends are referential anyways #text #answers #god this made me feel so old writing up #like what do you mean that people dont know that apple bottom jeans and boots with fur were real trends

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meowcats734 · 8 months

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[Soulmage] By Wizard Law, in order to learn a new skill, wizards are required to be apprenticed to a more experienced master. You, a barely trained journeyman fire mage, just took on an apprentice: a two-hundred-year-old Grandmaster Water Magic Lord.

"The Academy must be getting desperate if you're the best tutor they could find," my new student said.

I didn't disagree, but that didn't mean the man had to be a jerk about it. "The Academy's a little shorthanded thanks to that rampaging demon from a few weeks back," I said. "Both because everyone's suddenly very interested in learning self-defense magic, and because a decent chunk of the people who were good at self-defense magic died."

"Weren't good enough, then," the grumpy, ancient man said.

"I take it your emotional attunement is being a dick, then?" I deadpanned. I was half-certain that I'd been assigned the ornery old man just because my teacher wanted to spite me.

"What did you say?" he asked.

I blinked. "Emotional attunement. The emotion that you use to power your magic. This is first-year stuff. How can you—"

"Not that, you idiot. I've sneezed out more knowledge of magic than you've learned in your life. How did you just address me?"

"I... didn't?" I asked.

He scoffed. "Young people these days. When speaking to your senior, address him by his full title."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Fine. Grandmaster Water Magic Lord, I take it your emotional attunement is being a dick?"

He scowled. "My full title is Grandmaster Water Magic Lord Sage Unmatched Crusader Knight."

"Fine. GWMLSUCK, you're a dick."

GWMLSUCK bristled. "Your disrespect—"

"—is a part of the teaching process," I interrupted. "Look, I'm no master fire mage, but I know basic magical theory. Each emotion corresponds to a specific school of magic. Happiness for light, sorrow for cold, passion for heat." Self-hatred to make yourself feel small, too, although I felt no particular need to share my own brand of magic with someone who went by GWMLSUCK.

"And you think disrespecting me will make me more passionate about your imbecilic lessons?" the GWMLSUCK said.

"I think that it'll make you angry," I countered, "and that anger is a type of passion."

The GWMLSUCK fell quiet. "Using anger to fuel spells is in the domain of fell magic," he finally said.

"Yeah, well, a bunch of fell mages just kicked our collective butts." I shrugged. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, GWMLSUCK."

"Stop calling me that," he snapped. "It makes me so... so..."

"Yes?" I asked, patiently waiting.

He paused, then shook his head.

"You're right. You're an arrogant little pebble, and you make me want to blow my top off. But nothing's happening. I don't have the faintest attunement to anger, no matter how hard I try."

That was what I'd been worried about. You could have all the emotions in the world, but unless you had the right attunement, you couldn't convert them into magic—and I hadn't the foggiest idea where attunements came from. It was classified knowledge, kept only to the highest-ranked witches, and there was no way anyone would tell a neophyte spellcaster like me how to—

"There are four things you need to create an emotional attunement," the GWMLSUCK began.

I blinked in surprise, but the GWMLSUCK wasn't paying attention to me. "You need to feel the emotion yourself. You need to lose the emotion yourself. You need to cause the emotion in others. And you need to take that emotion from others."

A chill ran down my spine.

"I've felt anger in my life," he said, "and I've certainly angered others. So for me to lack that attunement... it means that either I've been perpetually angry my entire life, or there's never been a time when I've helped someone else calm down." For a moment, the old man looked terribly lost and terribly vulnerable. "And I don't want either of those to be true."

I was hardly listening to the old man's words.

Because I was a witch who used self-hatred.

For me to have an emotional attunement, it meant that I had to have caused that emotion in someone else.

My head swam. Who could it have been? Who had I hurt inadvertently so badly that it made them turn their anger inwards on themself? Who...

"I don't know why I expected a youth like you to help," the old man said. He stood. "This lesson is over. I will be contacting the Academy for a replacement immediately."

"That... may be for the best. For both of us," I muttered, dazed.

And then I realized who it was. Who was responsible for the magic I held.

And I knew how to make amends.

A.N.

Soulmage is a serial written in response to writing prompts. Stick around for more episodes, or join my Discord to chat about it!

First

Table of Contents

#writing #writing prompt #writers on tumblr #writblr #serial fiction #fiction #series #web serial #oc #soulmage

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kaesaaurelia · 6 months

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your turn with the brain cell

For @whumptober day 31, using the prompt "setbacks."

This is the last installment of this fic.

Continued from Day 4, wherein Aziraphale receives an unwanted gift of a memory-wiped angel Crowley who is collared and chained and cheerfully obedient, and a tiny bit of hope that the Crowley he knows still exists somewhere in that angel, Day 7, wherein Aziraphale asked Crowley provocative questions, and failed to get the answers he wanted, Day 17, wherein Crowley began to become physically affectionate, and Aziraphale couldn’t handle that, Day 21, wherein Aziraphale decided he couldn’t keep going with this, and came up with a dangerous plan, and Day 24, when Crowley suddenly found himself in possession of all his wits, and a happy, obedient, wrong version of Aziraphale, and was exasperated.

Content note for explicit discussion of sex, but only in the crossed-out portions, so it's fine, right?

I know you're going to be all upset about being back, but I just couldn't get access to the documents I needed with you all bubble-brained. I've enclosed all my notes and my current plan. Also, fair warning, I think the Metatron noticed something the first time you gave me all the responsibility for everything. I've chosen to do it while his schedule's busy, I think, but it's difficult to check when you're not there and I'm not supposed to be there, and I don't know exactly what he's noticing since no alarms seem to go off.

Also. I don't know what you meant by that 'you can do whatever you like with me' thing, but please don't be if you're going to be angry you were all over me and I made a guess about what exactly you meant by that, and I might have been too hasty. I know it's inexcusable if If you wanted to ditch me here I wouldn't blame you. But if you're willing to work with me I'll help, even if you're furious. I care a great deal for I'm not getting you any more books, though.

Good heavens lord Really, Crowley, what did you think I might've meant? I've no complaints whatsoever -- not with your behavior, anyway. I do wish I had more than fuzzy memories of In fact, I would appreciate if you hadn't kept turning the other me down on my account after that first time. Until I read your letter I assumed I wasn't very Of course, if you're not interested, that's one thing, but it seemed to frustrate you, and I know it frustrated other-me.

I wasn't able to get direct copies of the documents but I do hope you can read my notes, they're in shorthand. Also took the trouble of transcribing some of the things before and after in the records, they looked related, but then that officious fellow who's in charge of the scriveners came by and wanted to be Helpful so I had to make my excuses and flee. Noted down the locations and numbers I could recall of other things that looked useful, but Uriel's been on me for neglecting my duties so I haven't been able to get at them. Frankly, I think I do a better job when I'm not in, as it were, and I think we're going to need to hurry up with this, so I'm handing the reins back to you.

You were right about the Metatron being alerted, by the way, but I worked it out! He gave me a very nice pen when I started out, and, as the humans would say, it's bugged. But not for audio, it's got some sort of miracle sensor. Have enclosed it in a miracle-proof seal and I try to remember to feed it bits and pieces of miracle every time I do something innocuous, but I did a few experiments and I think it's been successfully secured. It's in the top drawer on the left, it's the white one with gold filigree, because of course it is.

Oh, and regarding the book situation, I don't think you understand. Voyage of the Dawn Treader is the best one! Please do kindly leave out The Last Battle, nobody likes it. Well, probably the Metatron does.

What part of "I'm not getting you more books" was I not clear about? I just happened to stumble across that Dawn Treader one the last time I had you go on a "fact-finding mission" to Earth but that's it. Also, isn't this the fellow who got a hold of all that correspondence from Hell? It was a great scandal Down There, Dagon got internal stoats for two months over it. Didn't think you'd enjoy novels by such a noted demonologist.

Thanks for the heads up about the pen, I think you were right. Haven't heard anything from him this last time, and I also did some fairly major workings on my own, you'll see what I mean in the notes. I've been asking you to feed it the decoy crumbs of miracles, since I don't know if there's any difference between our miracles anymore.

I think I've got a plan, but we're going to have to distract Michael and get her out of her office for, oh, probably an hour or so, depending. Maybe two. Can you pick locks? The human way, I mean. I'm a bit rusty on it myself. I've outlined the plan in my notes, let me know what you think of it.

On your request regarding things I am allowed to do with you, I hope I've been thanks for clarifying. Also, you don't need to be such a bloody gentleman about that sort of thing when Stupid Me gets all clingy. Just push me away or go with it, I thought it would be clear I was all right with that given what I'd done with you. Where did you get so good at giving head, anyway?

Let me know what you think about the plan.

C.S. Lewis was not a demonologist!

I like the plan. I've made some adjustments re: timing. Had a long meeting with Michael about battle strategies so I could study the case, and I don't think we need to pick the lock, one of us could just take the hinges on the top off with a screwdriver. I think it'd be easiest if you stood on a chair and did it, I'd need a stepladder otherwise, so I think you should be in charge for this.

I've drawn up extra copies of the documentation so if we need to switch off in a hurry we can do that, and I think I've got a way to get Michael out of her office for three hours at least, because that fellow who supervises the scriveners has Ideas he would like to share with her, and good gracious, he can talk forever and say almost nothing. I'm ready to set everything into action as soon as you sign off on the plan; once Michael's out of the office I'll sign things back over to you, and then we can get out of here. Does that sound good?

Regarding... liberties to be taken with our respective corporations, I also appreciated your clarification a great deal.

I think all that bending me over your desk and fucking me really clarified how much you appreciated the clarification, but I'm gonna need more clarification of the clarification because

Good thought about the screwdriver; I swiped one from maintenance, it's in my inside jacket pocket if you need it for anything, but try to remember to put it back before we go through with things.

I'm ready if you are. I expect to be in Michael's office next time I know what the hell is going on. I love Hope this works.

It's all on you, my dearest. Good luck.

There were alarms, and they were very noisy, and they were in Michael's office, and Aziraphale did not feel that any of this was how things were supposed to be. He watched Crowley for a bit; he seemed to be struggling with a large sword, trying to cut the chain that linked the two of them. On the wall was a clear plastic case that had been partially unscrewed, where, presumably, the sword had been hanging for millennia.

"I don't know if we're supposed to be doing this?" ventured Aziraphale, wringing his hands.

"Oh, we definitely are," said Crowley. "God told me to do it."

"Oh!" said Aziraphale. "Well. That's all right, then." He didn't much like the sirens but if Crowley said something was true you could rely on it. Crowley had never lied once. He probably ought to get out of the way, though, and he patted himself down for the book he'd been reading so he could do that more effectively. It had been very exciting. There'd been a sailing ship and a mouse with a sword, and -- "Oh dear, I think I left one of my books in your office. My office, I mean," he corrected, because Crowley told him he should always call it his office, even though he was sure it was meant to be the Supreme Archangel's office.

Crowley sighed, not looking up from his trouble with the chain and the sword. "I told you to gather those up," he said. He stepped on the blade of the sword, but it just flipped flat.

"Yes, but you said I could keep out the one I was reading, and I'm reading it, and --"

"Never mind that, angel, just -- could you stand over there?" said Crowley, "and -- and think about that awful collar?"

"Oh," said Aziraphale, stepping away to stand in the indicated corner. "I'm sorry. Have I done something wrong?" He hoped he hadn't. Crowley was so nice, and he was clearly having a bad day.

Crowley looked at him and sighed. "No, angel, I just need this chain to go taut, you're doing everything right. Hang on..." He raised the sword above his head and brought it down hard, and the chain shattered and sublimated into the air, and everything came back to Aziraphale all at once, and he staggered a bit.

"Fucking finally," said Crowley. "Aziraphale? Are you --"

"Yes, I am," said Aziraphale, thrilled beyond description to be looking at Crowley again -- his Crowley, the real Crowley, Crowley who was good for drunken conversations about dolphins and awkward questions about the nature of evil and, as it turned out, actual heist planning, as unlikely as that had seemed. "Oh, you did it!"

Crowley looked away. "We did it, I was just, all I did was --"

Aziraphale grabbed his tie and pulled him into an impulsive kiss. When Aziraphale released him, Crowley looked like he did not know what had just happened. Well. Served him right, Aziraphale decided.

"Right." Crowley shook his head. "Anyway. You. Er. You take the sword, you know how to use it." He pressed Michael's sword into one of Aziraphale's hands, then grabbed the other one, and hurried toward the door. "Come on!"

They ran through the half-empty corridors of Heaven with wild abandon. Crowley, laughing like a maniac, nearly collided with three angels carrying stacks of paperwork and ran into a fourth on the way to the lifts. Aziraphale hurried to keep up, flailing a bit as he clung to the stolen sword, but if anyone looked askance at them he made it very clear he was going to use it on anyone who tried anything with him. The lift doors closed just in time for them to see Michael run out of the archives, look around wildly, and spot them.

"Well," said Crowley, "she's not going to be having a very good day. Or week. Or eon."

"Good," said Aziraphale. The serene downward motion of the lift felt bizarre after their giddy run through Heaven.

"About, um. When you..." Crowley said.

Aziraphale put the sword safely away into a different layer of reality. "When I what?" Crowley's expression was so serious.

"It's just." Crowley swallowed, and tried to say something, and gave up, and then grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him, and Aziraphale kissed back, pushing Crowley back into the wall of the lift with one hand flat on his chest, parting his lips for Crowley's tongue. It was a good kiss, and thrilling, and much better than the ones he'd had with Not Crowley.

The lift opened, and they parted reluctantly, hurrying to where they'd left their getaway car. It wasn't the Bentley -- Aziraphale had insisted it would be too recognizable, lovely as it was. But he'd let Crowley pick a modern car, so it was a sleek silver Aston Martin.

"Still a bit upset with you about the whole... redemption thing," said Crowley, holding the door for him.

Aziraphale sighed. "I think that's fair."

Crowley hurried around the car and got into the driver's seat. "But, you know, I could probably see my way to forgiving you," he said, pulling the door shut. He pulled Aziraphale in for another, much more heated kiss, and suddenly Aziraphale decided that this late model Aston Martin had, to its surprise, a bench seat with no glovebox in the front, just like 1926 Bentleys did, so it was very easy, actually, for Crowley to pull him into his lap, and very easy for Aziraphale to put his arms around Crowley.

"Oh? Do you really think you could?" Aziraphale asked, as Crowley kissed down his jaw.

"Mm. Maybe. Eventually," Crowley muttered against his neck. "Could see my way to it. S'pose we've got to get away with this first, though." He began to loosen Aziraphale's bowtie.

Over Crowley's shoulder, as Crowley was cupping his arse with almost proprietary interest, Aziraphale saw three or four people in the beiges and whites of Heaven run past frantically. "I think we had better get out of here first, my dear," he said, reluctantly pulling himself out of Crowley's embrace. "But I'm happy to give you my very best apology as soon as we're somewhere safer."

Crowley grinned at him. "I'll certainly consider it," he said, starting the car, "but it might take a few tries before I'm willing to accept."

As the car pulled out, Aziraphale put a hand on Crowley's knee. "And I'm willing to try as many times as it takes."

#whumptober2023 #no.31 #setbacks #good omens #fic #nsfwhump #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #text #fiction #kaesa op

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stillness-in-green · 1 year

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Advisorama Asks

Two from @shockersalvage that have been waiting for an inexcusably long time to one I just got from @plf-advisor-stan that is relevant to the theme. Included: Spinner's advisors, Bindi the Younger and The Question, and Scarecrow maybe has an actual name?!?

She is not alone in thinking that it’s some real BS, let me tell you. Like, if nothing else, I don’t think the back edges of that mob should have even been able to hear all the dialogue going on at the front. Anyway, while I definitely don’t think Kurogiri should have left Spinner on the floor when he even bothered to bring Mic along, if he did, maybe Nimble will live up to her fan name I gave her her position as Spinner’s No. 1 and evade capture long enough to get Spinner out of there.

—

Hmmmm. I assume you meant these two?

I guess they could be. They’ve got similar silhouettes and broad similarities—short hair that divides in the middle; a white mask with a dark pattern—but there’s just enough different going on that I would probably not assume so without further appearances.

In direct comparison, Big Sis Bindi lacks those over-the-eyes bangs, her hair is a darker shade, and she of course has the big sweater neck thing. The left figure’s hair lacking the screentone shading could just be because they’re so far in the background, but it doesn’t seem to be an issue for various other tiny background faces, so I don’t see why it would be an issue for this one. Likewise, the horizontal dash just below the nose could be the outline of the sweater neck, but it looks more like a mouthline to me.

The other figure has the white mask down, but the enormous Kamen Rider-esque eye pattern is quite different from the question mark that should be there. More subtly, the white mask seems to continue all the way down the neck, cowl-style, while The Question has that high black collar.

But! That said, I appreciate that I’m not the only one obsessively looking for Advisor Appearances, so I thank you for calling my attention to it. If anything, I expect we’ll see at least Big Sis Bindi again, probably with Brand, since we haven’t seen where he wound up yet, or possibly Hose Face, though we’ve already seen him once and not, as I recall, with any other pre-established PLF faces.

I do wonder where Spinner’s Number 3 has gotten off to, though…

—

HMMMMM. I wonder if that is his name, or if it's just Horikoshi shorthanding what Scarecrow's whole deal was going to be?

I ran it by friendchat and @codenamesazanka found that the Japanese on the original version of that page is a little unclear; a fan translator took their best guess about it, back when the volume it was in came out, and offered ヴィスガスタス”, visugasutasu, which no one could make any sense of.

However, Nal also noted that if the smudgy first character was di instead of vi, you got disugasutasu—Disgustas, which sounds an awful lot like Disgust, and disgust was a major theme in his speech to the hospital mob, like so:

So is this a reclamation thing? He had the "you're creepy and gross" sentiment thrown at him so much that he decided to take it up as a weapon? Or is it, again, just a shorthand for his general shtick? How does it compare to other examples of Horikoshi's design-phase sketches and notes? And if Horikoshi had the name picked out, why not include it anywhere? Just another example of Horikoshi's ongoing refusal to give plot-significant heteromorphs actual names?[1]

I also initially thought that Disgustas doesn't fit the typical MLA name scheme, but there are enough caveats there that I wouldn't consider it wholly disqualifying. Skeptic, Trumpet, Curious and Sanctum are all well and good English words, but Destro is not the same as Destroy, Re-Destro even less so, and Geten a complete outlier. So "word that resembles a relevant English word but is itself not quite that word" is not completely unprecedented.

It still makes me frowny, though, that the MLA gets shafted, the heteromorph plotline gets shafted, the single most eloquent speaker on the matter of heteromorph oppression gets EXTRA shafted, and also maybe that speaker's name is a reference to how gross the people who oppressed him and scarred him for life thought he was.

Like, for real, I have enough problems with Shouji preaching the moral superiority of passive endurance in the face of discrimination. By contrast, the MLA's whole deal is the violent overthrow of the harmful status quo; they won't even use a term their own founder's martyred mother coined because that term has been too bastardized by society at large. Spinner's #2 specifically decries various aspects of the status quo as phony, a sham, a false and shallow facade that's incapable of providing the "light" that heteromorphs need. He's the last person who should be willing to wear a label foisted off on him by the non-heteromorphic majority.

It all just feels like more of the entirely unnecessary two-faced bent #2 showed at the hospital, and, I suppose, in that regard, it's not entirely unfitting. I even kind of like the way, if his name is Disgustas, he answers his own question with both a verbal answer and a visual one via his dramatic face reveal.

"Take a look beyond the cities! What do they still say there?" In pulling off his hood, he implies the answer is him, his name: disgust. Disgust is what the people beyond the cities say. "'You give me the creeps.'"

It's a powerful moment. Indeed, language reclamation is always powerful. Still, though, that kind of internal calculation runs counter to the true believer zealotry he'd been written with prior to the hospital scene, and I admit I'm still pretty sore about that discrepancy.

But! In any case, thanks very much for bringing it to my attention! Anything about the advisors is a thing I will always want to hear about. For the time being, I'm going to keep on calling #2 Scarecrow, but if he ever turns up being called Disgustas (or Disgastas or Disgustus or however it gets romanized) in a volume extra or databook or something to that effect, I'll make the best of it at that time.[2]

Thanks for the asks, both of you!

------ 1: GIVE HER A NAME, HORIKOSHI. 2: Or I'll keep quibbling about it like I did Dabi's quirk being named Blueflame in the Hawks Villain Report. Like hell it is! ------

#bnha #plf advisors #heteromorph discrimination plot #shockersalvage #plf-advisor-stan #stillness answers

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nemesis-is-my-middle-name · 1 year

Note

I was thinking about how Ingo likely was training his pokemon to work in a variety of battle formats, because that's just how he's used to training them with Emmet and without memories he just kind of went on instinct as to how to train his Hisui team. And how he's also very, very good at strategizing and almost definitely still would be even with near complete amnesia. Then I was thinking about how he probably tried to help coach some of the Pearl Clan, like Irida, or Galaxy Team at the training grounds, on how to train their pokemon. I cannot imagine it going well.

To him, that's just how people should train pokemon, and it's important to him that his own be trained that way, so it must be important for all trainers to do it that way too. Except. Not many people can think the way he does, even in his own time. He and Emmet are experts, and as you've been talking to some people about their starters, they must have been good well before adulthood, which is not something just anyone can do. So trying to teach that to the people of Hisui? They must think he's absolutely bonkers.

He's clearly the best trainer they have, but it's so convoluted they just end up getting even more confused. But he's like, "no, you need to know how to fight with two pokemon at once too, what if you get surrounded by a group of wild pokemon? And yes, you need to be able to fight in coordination with other people. Again, what if you and someone else get surrounded and need to work together??" And that makes sense, so they do try, but also, what's up with all the weird signals he's trying to teach them? He didn't even use those himself, so ??? And how are they supposed to remember all the shorthand he insists will be more useful than spending time shouting the whole command, especially when they use two pokemon at once?

He makes it look so effortless when he battles, but trying to do it themselves? It's so hard to learn and most give up. Which is really disheartening to both him and them! His team probably went through a few who weren't suited for it either, but that just means he's got some pokemon in the Highlands who aren't on his team anymore, but are still friends.

even the very concept of being a "trainer" in the way he's proposing is sort of counter to the way the pearl clan thinks about things! they just don't have that level of formality about it. and they're already primed to Not Like the idea bc of the pokeball argument. he just wishes he had more people to spar with, he feels like he's getting rustyyyy (rusty with respect to what is a mystery, because he's objectively still capable of winning most battles, but the feeling is there)

semi-related but i actually had this thought a while back that i never polished up of ingo writing a book in hisui-times, which was meant to be sort of a primer on how to battle with a pokemon, and he was never expecting it to go farther than the security corps mostly but then fast forward to the future and it's become incredibly widespread because it IS a really good resource. even if it is... a beginner's guide for people who are terrified of starly so it starts out with some REAL baby steps. and also spends a lot of time countering rumors that seem hysterically far-fetched to modern readers, like, "bidoof do not chew through your floor to come up and eat you while you sleep i PROMISE it does not work like that."

once he gets on to like actually explaining type matchups and moves and stuff... it becomes one of those things where there are modern books that have trimmed the extra bits out, but if you're a history buff or whatever you could totally hand your kid this book and they'd be ready for playground battles within the week. or like, if you're an adult and you pick it up bc it's been referenced so much and you're curious, you'll still find it interesting bc even if this guy's toning it down he so clearly knows his shit. (and then there's also the moments where, because it's so old, it also drops in some random facts that make historians scramble when they see them. like, he's explaining how for dual-types an immunity for one type overrides a weakness for another, and uses zorua as an example, which makes everyone go WAIT WHAT because apparengly zorua in the area used to be fucking ghost/normal??)

anyway imagine. ingo returned to the present, walking around the house that is Apparently His, looking for things that could jog his memory, and then he stops dead staring at a bookshelf: "...that's my book." and emmet's like oh yeah! you bought that at a used book store, it was one of the first books on battling we had- and ingo's just goes "no no you misunderstand. that's my book. i wrote that. i sent it out with the guild a month ago, what the fuck"

#the nemesis answers #the nemesis speaks #anonymous #there's also a very heartfelt forward which continues to charm people to this day #where he's basically going #''pokemon battles are fun they're not dangerous the pokemon don't hate them they're play and a method of communication and bond-building an #THEY'RE SO FUN I PROMISE PLEASE JUST TRY THEM''#and it's sort of silly that people in the past were THAT confused about it #but it's written in a way that makes people go man i hope he found someone to battle with #yknow what else would be fun #is if he specifically credited the galaxy team's survey corps/security captain for their contributions #but forgot. to credit himself. bc he never thought anyone would read it who didn't know who it was from #so the author is completely unknown in modern times #but hey it gave them the names of some galaxy team folks!

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queenharumiura · 9 months

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🎂 + is there anything she never wants to admit really bothers her?

Today is the day I celebrate Haru because of her shorthand (86) and I'll answer any questions. [x] ||Accepting|| @parallelroutes

She doesn’t really want to bother much of anything that bothers her on a personal level, but there is one thing she really doesn’t ever want to touch upon and again, it’s about Tsuna. Such a reoccurring theme in these asks AHAHAAHAH.

She can’t ever speak about how she feels hurt about things because it shifts dynamics. She can’t speak to the guardians about it because—I mean—he is their leader. She can speak a bit about it to her friends, but it is a bit--- yanno? With Kyoko? She wouldn’t want anyone to necessarily feel guilty when they realize just how much she hurts from this.

At the end of the day, she knows it’s her fault. She only has herself to blame. She knows that he likes another person, one of he really good friends. She should’ve realized that no matter what she does, he’s not going to look at her, and it’s her fault for wanting to try anyways, and a lot of that is because of the way she was raised—to not give up and keep trying until you’ve exhausted all options. Then you can confidently say “I’ve tried by best and it didn’t work out.”

So, when she does finally move on from him, she feels content in knowing that she did absolutely all that she could’ve to have him see her. To notice her. There is quite frankly no room for regret for her because she really did try her best.

The only thing is that she regrets how much it ended up hurting her. Her self-confidence, her pride in herself. She’s learned to hate herself a little bit for the uglier side of things like feeling jealous and the like.

It’s not Kyoko’s fault that Tsuna liked her. It’s not his fault for liking Kyoko either. She does however, dislike how when she would do some weird things like dress up as a Miko for hospital visits and other things, Tsuna was very quick to rebuke her weird ideas, but Kyoko would always step in for her defense. She’s a great friend. It’s really a ‘but I’m here too doing the same thing? Don’t just give Haru that attitude when I’m here too. She was trying to cheer everyone up.’

Then Tsuna usually backtracked to be like oh no no, I like it! Thanks! It really had a way of showing Haru where she stood and that hurt SO BADLY. She never wants to admit how that made her feel and how it made her sometimes want to resent Kyoko in that moment and that’s where some of the self-hatred comes from because that’s no reason to dislike Kyoko- her friend.

It’s not her fault. This is where I say Haru has a very logical side to her as much as she has an emotional side. If she was all emotional, she would’ve stopped being friends with Kyoko and grow to hate her, but that never happened. They remained steadfast friends.

Haru really said, I’m not about to hate my friend over a guy. Not over something that’s not even in her control.

She’d hate to specifically mention things like that because it would make Kyoko feel bad—and Haru would rather die than to be a source of her friend hurting. Haru cares so much about other people and she cares more for them than she does about her. It speaks volumes to the fact that if it came down to it on the bridge, she was willing to fall to her death if it meant Tsuna and Lambo could live. Haru truly cares so deeply about others, and it would hurt her more to have someone die with her or what have you.

She’s pretty impulsive when it comes to her loved ones, so she honestly wouldn’t even think if it came down to her knowing that someone could live on with her sacrifice. She’s a coward, but she’s always shown a lot of courage when it came to protecting others.

There are things she may never get closure for because she doesn’t want to hurt others and she’s okay with that- and it kills me, it really does.

#Parallelroutes #Meme answered #Answered ask #Thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks

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talenlee · 11 months

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Story Pile: GGWP — Young Ladies Don't Play Fighting Games

What if the prettiest girl in your school who nobody knew well was so aloof, so pure, so perfect, not because she was in fact, transcendentally perfect, but because she was an utter gamer gremlin who didn’t care about anything any other student was doing, since they weren’t pulling off sick combos and trash talking noobs in ranked ladder matches? And you could tell because you were an expert in the same kind of games, and now she wanted to fight you? To fight you? To fight you? To stay up late and fight you?

And you were both girls?

That’s the story of Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games, which is a manga series about exactly what I just described. This is a Japanese story about a Japanese sector of life – about the pressures of school and the intensity of hobbies you wind up with if you have to have them in secret. It’s about social pressures on women, it’s about what is or isn’t acceptable for people to do and how an invisible online persona creates a space for people to become what they truly want.

It is also full of some of the sickest reaction panels of a girl power-posing over an opponent who isn’t even in the room I’ve ever seen in manga.

If you want to learn a bit about fighting game lingo, this might be a place to pick it up, but I’m not sure. Part of how the story works is that the playstyles of the characters and their relationships to the games they’re playing is important to how they relate to one another, you see, you see, because the big crybaby who plays by her heart and wants to win because of how it makes her feel, right, she’s not as good a technical player as the much more skilled formally minded one who achieves by dedicating absolute organisation to everything she does, but but but when you’re a technically focused person what do you do when patch notes drop for your character a week before the tournament, and then, then, you see, there’s conflict between them because one of them is trying out new toys she got in the patch notes and the other is trying to reconstruct what she had.

I do not know if they say a damn word that makes sense about fighting games.

I know that there’s a procession through translation that’s going to make the best translators struggle. You need to understand the lingo in Japanese and its relationship to similar lingo in English and I can understand just giving up. It’s also all talking about a pastiche game that I think is meant to invoke Street Fighter, but also…

… it might not.

It could be nothing to do with Street Fighter. It could all be about Tekken or King of FIghters or Sango Fighters for all I know. I did show panels to a friend who knows a lot more about fighting games, and sometimes the manga gave good advice and sometimes it gave bad advice. But I can’t say for sure if that’s the manga being mistaken or if it’s the translation struggling with conveying a topic. Just a misplaced pronoun can really mess up that kind of thing! Doesn’t really matter, though, to me. It’s trying, and that’s interesting, and what it is telling me about the games is being used to tell the story at large. I could bust out the Gina Bloom Gaming the Stage checklist again, if you want.

There’s a real art to translation. Particularly, there are times when a manga has a really interesting title in Japanese that, translated to English, loses something about what it is. There’s this manga, Watashi no Kobushi wo Uketomete, which is about a pair of delinquent girls re-finding one another after school and realising they’re interested in one another, and the title means something about attacking one another with love and fists. Translating that title could have been something really awkward, but some genius translator came up with Catch These Hands.

I knew Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games by a shorthand title: GGWP, back when it was being translated by fans, and not by professionals, selling the manga in actual book stores. It’s not only gotten an official translation since but it might be getting an anime soon, which is good news since it might make this series more available to more people. It might also dilute the queerness here, the way this story is about girls and their relationships to one another and the intimacy that grows in a slow, organic way and how the fights are about fights (but they’re not just about fights).

Here’s the big secret of if you’re looking for queer media. Queer anime isn’t common. It’s not uncommon, but it’s absolutely not common, and part of how queer anime gets to exist is by not being too far out of bounds of acceptable, deniable value judgments. Basicaly, anime gets to exist as long as the shittiest dude in its production staff is okay with it. Also, that kind of production staff role, the people who make hiring and firing decisions? Well, that’s a senior position and in Japan, seniority of roles aren’t necessarily tied to who in the room has the best ambitious drive or even the richest dad, but instead, tends to land on the oldest people.

That is to say, in the anime industry, where young people join and burn out in one to three years, all the people in positions of power are older. A lot older. Old as balls. And that may be why anime, despite all of its cool traits and its great imaginative concepts advertising all sorts of merchandiseable nonsense, still has a bunch of trends that feel like hey, why would we do that? Why would there be that in there? Isn’t that a bit weird?

Manga, on the other hand, is not so constrained. You know what you need to publish a manga? A pixiv account. Wotakoi, one of my favourite manga and anime ever, started out as a pixiv webcomic. Horimiya, a series with a really promising start that I kinda snoozed through towards the end, started out as a webcomic. The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn’t A Guy At All, one of my favourite yuri series started out on twitter. The point is there are a lot of publishing vectors for manga, and that doesn’t mean everyone who wants to make and share manga are doing it in a way that’s going to get them money but they can get attention and as a result, manga is a space where you’re going to see a lot more wild stuff.

And yes, this does mean you’ll find more filth and weirdness and stuff people ditch on because they get bored. Sure. That’s a possibility. You’re talking about an art space where amateur art gradiates into professional art without any clear distinction and the industry that pumps out the series on schedules people like are essentially a machine that chews on artists and poops out merchandising opportunities, with the manga itself a sort of wafting fumes it expels as an accidental byproduct. Sometimes you’ll find an interesting high concept that disappears because the artist just couldn’t hack the pace they set and they dropped out, sometimes you’ll find something that degenerates over time as the creator’s hobby time changes.

And in this space, you can find queer media.

You can find, straight up, media that is just about gay boys doin’ kisses on one another and yuri that’s all about a particular niche interest and just, no question being asked about a potential market importance, because it’s being made because someone wanted to draw those faces having feelings about those things. And that’s how we get the space in which we wind up here with this, this manga GGWP, a sexless yuri manga about girls who play fighting games in secret and also sleep together and are girlfriends.

It’s a long hauler! It goes places and it covers tournaments and I don’t know if it’s even done because I’ve been reading it entirely legally, officer, I swear. But it’s a very sweet kind of story about girls relating to girls, and if it doesn’t wind up with two of them married, then I’m going to notify the yuri authorities.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Media #StoryPile

#Media #Story Pile

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pennywaltzy · 2 years

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The Tale Of The Ruined Vacation (3/? - A “The Family Business” Story)

(Art by purpleyin)

So I decided to make this light on the case for a case fic and have only a little bit actually have to do with the case itself. I hope you enjoy this bit of Joanstrade fluff and BAMF!Joan.

The Tale Of The Ruined Vacation - Lestrade finally gets to come visit Joan in New York, but their plans go awry when they're forced to work on a cross-jurisdictional case.

READ PART 1 | READ PART 3 | SERIES PAGE

When she woke up the sun was streaming into the room and the bed was empty. She twisted around to see Lestrade wasn’t in the bedroom portion of the suite so she got up and moved to the sitting area and heard him talking to someone. Not sure if the person he was talking to was in the room or on the phone, she made herself look as presentable as she could and then went out to join him. She was almost disappointed that he was on the phone until he gave her a grin and mouthed “Gregson” to her.

“Joan’s awake now, so if she can direct me we’ll run down that lead since it’s closer to us. Give us some time to get a bite first, though.” He nodded. “You too. Goodbye.”

“So something happened?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Gregson called a half hour ago,” Lestrade said. “Your Detective Bell is running leads with Sherlock and one new one just popped up but they’re in the Bronx. There’s supposedly a...lady of the night, I take it, who runs a phone and escort service, and one of the victims was an employee. They want us to see if there are any connections with the service and the other victims.” He’d been making notes and it looked like a lot had happened while they were asleep.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Half past three,” Lestrade said.

“That explains why my stomach grumbled when you asked Gregson to give us time to eat,” she said with a grin, and Lestrade gave her a wider one in return. “There’s room service.”

“I think that’s best. Then I can get a shower and a shave.” She moved over and sat on his lap, and he ran a hand up and down her back. “Unless you care to join me?”

“Maybe another time,” she said. “Just because we have work to do. But I like the scruff. Hopefully it will come back when your actual vacation starts?”

“I think I could be talked into not shaving often,” he said before pulling her in for a nice, long kiss. She had to hold onto his shoulders to keep her balance, and when she pulled away they were both breathing hard.

“Your kisses are dangerously addicting,” she said before blushing slightly.

“Never been told that before,” he murmured. “One more?”

She nodded and kissed him this time, keeping it lighter than the last one but it was a lingering kiss, as though neither of them really wanted to stop. Eventually, they had to part to breathe and she got up. “Maybe I will join you for that shower after all,” she said, reaching for the hem of her shirt and pulling it up before turning towards the bathroom. The shirt landed on the floor just as he came up behind her, turning her towards him and then kissing her again.

By the time they got to the shower and actually got clean, Joan had to admit, shared showers with Lestrade were now on her list of things to do as often as possible.

–

They decided against room service when they were done with the shower and planned to hit a deli nearby where their lead was. Any excuse to stay in the room meant the more chance they’d shag again, and there was, after all, work to be done.

They’d just gotten their sandwiches when Holmes sent her one of his texts filled with shorthand. She grasped it reasonably quickly. “One of their leads is dead,” she said to Lestrade. “Killed the same way the others were.”

“And the other leads?” Lestrade asked.

“Not sure yet.” She texted Holmes Lestrade’s question, and about a minute later got a reply. “Being offered police protection. Marcus is on his way to join us to offer Madame Leona the same.” She sent another text, this time to Marcus, letting him know they were waiting at the deli.

“You text differently when you talk to Detective Bell,” Lestrade noted.

“My Sherlock loves creating his own shorthand so he can fit three or four texts worth of info in one text. Marcus doesn’t like texting, especially while driving, so I send longer ones to him and…” Marcus texted her back with an OK. “He replies in as few words as possible.”

“Smart man,” Lestrade said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “This is better than the ones at Speedy’s.”

“It’s one thing I would miss if I were to move, but I could adapt,” she said before taking a bite of her sandwich. Lestrade raised an eyebrow at that. When she was done chewing and swallowing, she said, “It would make more sense for me to move to England than it would for you to move here.”

“I could retire, you know,” he said.

“I know, but you won’t. And that’s fine. I just...there’s still more I can learn from Sherlock. But if we get more serious, just know I’m...willing. To move.”

“And I am too.”

“But—” she said.

“It may make more sense if you move to England, but that doesn’t mean it’s what will happen. Let’s just wait and see what happens, okay? Before we start making plans?”

“Okay,” she said with a sheepish grin. They ate in companionable silence until Marcus joined them twenty minutes later. “Marcus Bell, Greg Lestrade,” she said, introducing them.

Marcus reached over and shook Lestrade’s hand. “So you’re Joan’s boyfriend,” he said. “Somehow you aren’t what I pictured and exactly what I thought you’d be like.”

“An interesting paradox,” Lestrade said with a grin. “Older gent? Because I just grayed prematurely. I’m only five years her senior.”

“Huh,” Marcus said. “Now, that I can see.” Then he turned to Joan. “Has anyone gone in or out of the building since you’ve been here?”

“Not that I’ve seen, but there could be a back entrance.” She finished off her drink. “How are we going to play this?”

“Sherlock found out two other of the original victims were clients and our dead lead was a former employee of Madame Leona. So she’s a connection to most of the victims. The question is, is she the killer, an accomplice, or a patsy?”

“Let’s go find out,” Lestrade said, getting up.

“You know, I can go in the front if the two of you want to see if there’s a way in the back?” Marcus suggested.

“Sound suggestion,” Lestrade said. “Have a baton?”

“I have an extra gun that Gregson sent for you to use on the case,” he said. He motioned for them to go to his unmarked vehicle, and went to a steel case on the floor of the passenger side. He took out a key and unlocked it, showing a police-issued gun and bullets. Lestrade loaded the gun and then checked it before he and Joan went around the deli and into the alley.

There was a door in the back of the building, and they waited for Marcus to go to the front before a masked man ran out. Joan pulled out her collapsible stick from where she kept it inside her jacket and tripped the man before he caught sight of her or Lestrade. He fell to the ground with a thud and Lestrade stood over him, his gun drawn. “No wonder your Sherlock spent so much time with sticks,” he said. “It works wonders.”

“It does,” she said. Sirens could be heard and she frowned. “I have to wonder if she’s still alive.”

“He’d better hope she is,” Greg said as Marcus bounded out of the back exit.

“One of the customers is an EMT in training,” he said. “Madame Leonora is alive. But it looks like you caught the assailant.”

“I hope so,” Joan said. “Otherwise this is going to become an even more complicated case.”

#sherlock #elementary #lestrade x joan #joanstrade #fanfic #fanfiction #joan watson #greg lestrade #marcus bell #my stuff

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