#but none of the couples were interesting to me

[barcaatthemoon]

turned on || alexia putellas x reader ||

a night out forces you and alexia to finally do something about your obvious attraction to one another.

alexia was awkward. you had known that long before you'd ever met the woman. the two of you were respective superstars for your countries, both the faces of your women's leagues. the news of the famed (y/n) (y/l/n) going from bayern to barcelona had shaken up the european football world. however, the events that would follow would do so once again, perhaps to a bigger magnitude.

you had been at bayern since their youth academy. there had never been another club for you, not even for a loan. however, when your contract with bayern ended, you had decided to look elsewhere. you loved the team, and the things that everybody was doing together, but you wanted a change.

barcelona had come knocking on your door the loudest. they were willing to shell out a lot of money, nearly three times as much as your old club. it wasn't just about the money, but you had to admit that it had a nice ring to it. there were things that you could do with this money that you felt would benefit your community much more than you just scoring a few goals during your games.

your first few months in spain had been difficult. you weren't exactly conversational in spanish, nor were you all that great with english. your teammates were patient with you, especially frido, ingrid, and caro. they were like your lifelines, none of them ever leaving you completely alone at training. unfortunately for you, they were all around enough to notice the way that you and alexia stared at each other.

"hmm, that's a very interesting shirt choice. it looks oddly familiar," frido teased as she grabbed the bottom hem of your shirt. you didn't give her little comment the decency of a response. yes, you had picked this outfit out because the last couple of times that you had worn it, alexia hadn't been able to take her eyes off of you.

"i think that our captain will like it. although, i'm not sure she'll appreciate the attention you'll get from it," ingrid said. you blushed a little as you turned away from them to finish getting ready. you had done your makeup a little bit edgier than normal. alexia seemed to like the darker look on you, at least that was what mapi had told you.

you checked over your outfit one more time before you followed your friends out of ingrid's room. mapi was flexing in the mirror, something that had both you and ingrid laughing at her. mapi ignored the two of you and continued, much to aitana's annoyace.

"let's go." frido wrangled everybody into her car, letting you have the passenger's seat. you were still getting used to things like the famous spanish affection and lack of personal space. befriending mapi through ingrid was a big help, but you were still even more awkward than caro in most situations.

at the club, you were immediately whisked away to the bar with pina, cata, and patri. they fed you shot after shot, which you enjoyed until alexia, irene, marta, and sandra pulled your group back from the bar. irene had been the one to grab you, but you didn't let that last for long. with some difficulty, you put yourself in alexia's grasp, allowing for pina to scurry off towards the dance floor.

"hi, oh wait, hola!" your accent was normally bad, but tonight, it was atrocious. alexia cracked a small smile at your accent. you returned it tenfold, absolutely beaming at her. "you are so beautiful. do you like my outfit? i wore it just for you."

"o-oh?" alexia questioned. her voice had cracked, something that you didn't miss, but chose to ignore. "you look very nice, but you shouldn't dress for other people. dress for you, i'd like any outfit you wore."

"that's not the point. i want you to take me home. i need to impress if you're gonna do that." you were slurring your words pretty badly, and alexia wondered how long you had been feeling like that. she wasn't going to get her answer though, not when you were whisked off towards the dance floor.

alexia didn't see you for nearly the entire night after that. you had been moving around enough to sober up quite a bit. alexia noticed that you didn't sway on your feet when you came over to where she was sitting. however, there was still just enough liquid courage for you to let alexia know that you wanted to dance with her.

"i think we should dance. you've been sitting here all night. even irene got up at least once." if it had been anybody else, alexia never would have even really considered moving. however, it was you, and unbeknownst to you, alexia had developed quite the soft spot for you.

at first, she told herself that she wanted to take care of you because you were younger than her and in a new country. however, much to alexia's annoyance, mapi pointed out several times that alexia's gazes towards you were never friendly. alexia thought that she was good at masking her feelings, but mapi was one of the few people in the world who could see right through her. it took a while, but alexia had finally admitted to herself, and an eerily excited mapi, her feelings for you.

"i'm not much of a dancer," alexia warned you. she had never been a good dancer, especially not sober. you weren't a professional or anything, but you were fairly decent in the scheme of things.

"it's fine, i'll take the lead." your words didn't exactly make alexia feel much better, but once the two of you were on the dance floor, she didn't do much thinking. you were just sober enough to know that this wasn't something that alexia normally would have agreed to so easily. you'd been around the team long enough to know that alexia rarely ever left the booth or table whenever the team went out.

"a-are you sure that this is okay?" alexia asked as you placed her hands on your waist. normally whenever you'd dance with the other girls, their hands were glued to your hips. it was a far less intimate hold, but your body craved a bit of intimacy, specifically from alexia.

"shh, don't think about it. just feel the music and move with me," you told her. it was fine for the first couple of songs, but then things slowed down dramatically. alexia's hands stayed right where you had placed them, but you weren't prepared to feel the press of her body against yours.

for someone who wasn't spanish, you were teased a lot for being touchy. it was always in good jest, and because of that, you often forgot how handsy your teammates could get. alexia was no exception, despite being the most reserved with her affections. you realized in that moment that alexia wasn't unaffectionate at all, she was just picky. tonight, it seemed that she had picked you.

"can i have one more dance?" alexia asked as she rested her chin against your shoulder. her face was partially buried in the side of your neck. alexia's breath tickled against your skin, something she couldn't have known would have you turning red in the face like it was. "please, i'm having fun with you. i don't want it to end just yet."

"i think i can handle one more." it was a total lie, but you didn't know it yet. the next song was more upbeat than the last, but alexia didn't move any further away from her. you could feel her hips press against your ass with each movement that she made. alexia was dancing with you like before, only closer now. it was reminscent of something that you hadn't experienced in quite some time.

alexia kept her hands around you even after the song had ended. the two of you made your way towards the booth, where several of your teammates were not sitting as well. alexia sat down first, and without hesitation, pulled you into her lap. they all quieted down at the sight of you, but neither you nor alexia missed the looks on their faces.

"problem?" alexia asked. her arm was snaked protectively around your waist, and as patri moved in closer, alexia's arm tightened. she had already been holding you tightly, but the addition of force managed to pull a squeak from you that unfortunately did not go unheard by anybody.

"the free show was nice, even if this isn't that kind of club," patri teased as she tapped on the tip of your nose. you swatted her hand away as you cursed at her in german. frido and ingrid's faces went red at your words, but they didn't let patri in on what you had said.

"what is that supposed to mean?" alexia asked.

"are you so oblivious that you don't see how turned on (y/n) is with her on your lap, capi? i mean, look at her. it's a shock that she's not squirming," cata pointed out. you grumbled as you tried to hide your hands. alexia looked at you questioningly, and when you refused to meet her gaze, she realized that there was a lot of truth to their words.

"you, uh… you… i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you… i mean…" alexia stumbled through her words unlike anything you had ever seen before. the girls at the table laughed at her, which made a bit of anger flare up inside of you.

"hey, it's okay. you didn't know," you said sweetly. alexia bit her lip as you turned in her lap and cupped her cheeks. "i asked you to dance with me. besides this isn't anything that won't pass eventually."

"aren't you embarrassed?" alexia asked. she looked really guilty, and you wanted to kiss the pout off of her lip.

"it's fine, ale. if you really feel bad, you can buy me breakfast or something tomorrow morning," you told her. alexia looked confused for a moment before the cheering and hollering of your teammates clued her in. with that, she quickly stood up and walked you out of the club and away from them. you both knew alexia wouldn't just sleep with you, but you were surprised when she let you come over and stay the night with her anyway.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #alexia putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader

[ohdeerfully]

Can I request Alastor baking or cooking for reader? Maybe making one of his old mother recipes for reader while he wears a silly apron or something? I'm loving all of your one shots!

☀️ anon

short but sweet!! i made it a human al story, hope thats cool! i really enjoyed writing this one but now i want cookies (,:

btw tumblr is really lacking with human alastor gifs so sorry guys

Sweet Treat

Human!Alastor x Reader (fluff)

TW: reader is implied female but pronouns arent used/doesnt effect story much. other than that none!

join my discord!

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Alastor was always aware of your wants and desires as if the glasses he wore helped him read directly into your mind. You were tired? Okay, the bedsheets were freshly dry and warm. You were hungry? He already had a pot of aromatic food cooking in your kitchen. Thirsty? Here’s some ice water. Headache? Oh, here’s a remedy that he learned from a traditional healer in the city. 

You get the idea.

You had come home from a long day of work at the speakeasy you performed in, a hankering for something sweet filling your mind as your mouth watered at the idea of sugary goodness. You fiddled with your keys for a little, eyes slightly bleared from both a mixing of light alcohol consumption and just general sleepiness. No, those are your work keys… no, that’s to your office… Finally, you grasped your manicured fingers over the correct silver key and jittered it into the hole.

You slumped your body against the door dramatically as you pushed it open, a loud sigh escaping your lips to announce you were home. You knew Alastor was already home, seeing as his shoes were tucked neatly in the nearby rack and jacket hung up against the wall. Usually Alastor would join you when you were at work late, both to watch you perform and to walk you home, but he had been caught up with his own work and likely got home not long before you. A light smile dusted your face as you recalled how desperately sorry he sounded when he phoned you a few hours ago—it was sweet. 

Your own heels were unceremoniously kicked off in the general direction of the shoe rack—you’d fix them up later. Right now, you were mostly focused on the sound of a spoon scraping against a bowl as Alastor was doubtlessly stirring something. Your interest was piqued, and your stomach growled at the idea of food.

“Ah, you’re home a bit early,” He said as you rounded the corner, your gaze immediately fixating on the mixing bowl propped against the junction of his elbow as he stirred with his other hand. There was a plume of flour resting against the left rim of his glasses. “A bit too early for my surprise.” 

Your eyes then traveled down to the apron he wore, a black one that had a silhouette of a deer and text that read “best buckin’ cook.” You had gotten it for him as a joke for your anniversary due to his fondness for hunting and deer.

“Yeah, Ms. Ruby let me off early if I performed a couple songs in a row,” There was an eye roll as you said this. You pursed your lips as you approached him, gingerly taking his glasses off to clean the mess from the glass. His eyes held a slight squint as he looked at you, slightly unfocused without his aides. “I’m guessin’ you knew I’d want something sweet, then?”

A smirk crossed his lips as if you asked the most obvious question in the world. Which, considering how he always knew what you wanted, it kind of was the most obvious question in the world.

“What kind of suitor would I be if I didn’t know what my darling desires?” He leaned a little closer as he spoke, halting the stirring motion. His voice had dropped to a teasing husk, and your ears tingled at the hint of that Cajun accent you loved so much. It didn’t help that you were just a tad loopy with alcohol.

“And I love you for that,” You said, trying to ignore the heat in your face. You pressed the glasses back against his face, using your finger to push them up the bridge of his nose whilst simultaneously gently moving his face away from your own. “As soon as I wanted a treat I knew I’d come home to one.”

“It also helps that you always want one when you work late, love,” He mused, turning away and walking back to the counter that had a splay of ingredients. There was also a mess of flour—likely from the same incident that dirtied his glasses—but you bit back a comment. You knew he’d clean it up after.

With a hop you had sat yourself on a tall chair next to the kitchen counter, elbows resting on the cold granite top as you watched him work on mixing in the rest of the ingredients. He seemed a little nervous now that you were watching him, his stirring a bit stiff and measuring a little overanalyzed, but he kept working nonetheless.

The oven chimed when the preheating was done, and at that point Alastor was already in the process of portioning out little balls of dough. A proud smile donned his face.

“I think this is the fastest I’ve gotten to this point,” He claimed, not looking up from the task in front of him. You loved the way his brown hair fell in neat, light curls over his eyes. His glasses had begun to slip slightly down his nose, but he quickly pushed them back with a knuckle. “I nearly beat the timer.”

With an absent nod and quiet ‘congrats’ you eyed the nearly empty bowl and the discarded rubber spatula that sat nearby with velvety, doughy sweetness still clinging on the edges. You slowly raised your hand and inched towards it.

A hand snatched it up at the last second, and you slumped backwards in the chair with a defeated whine. Alastor waved it at you with a teasing grin. 

“So greedy,” He chided, although he did so unseriously. “I can’t believe you would spoil the taste before I even finished baking them… after I worked so hard…” There was a fake pout in his voice as his lips turned down, one hand on a hip and leaned against the counter behind him. You rolled your eyes in response and folded your arms.

“You know it never even tastes the same when it bakes,” You pursed your lips as you looked away from him towards the oven. You could see the faint silhouette of the cookies he had put in just a minute ago, now slowly flattening. “C’mon… Just a sample… please?” You drew out your plea, pressing your face between your hands as you tried your best to look at him with wide cutesy eyes.

It didn’t seem to work on him in the slightest, as he only looked down on you with a raised eyebrow. There was, though, a soft change in his brown eyes as his gaze swept over your face, though you were sure it had nothing to do with your current charming tactics. He was just, in all ways you can imagine, insanely devoted to you—he would tell you, very rarely as he had trouble expressing tender words, how he found you to be the most beautiful being he had ever been lucky enough to see. 

As corny as it felt if you thought about it too hard, you actually believed him when he said he would kill for you. It was something many men would exaggerate when courting, and they never truly meant it, but there was a glimmer of crazed obsession in his eyes when he had told you it one time. A look you had no choice but to take seriously—you tried not to think about it too much.

He sighed dramatically as he threw out his hand to bestow upon you… the spatula. You took it with a pleased grin and put a corner in your mouth to taste the dough. You could almost see the sparkles dancing around you as the light sweetness touched your tongue. You could see Alastor’s proud grin out of the corner of your eye but you chose not to meet his gaze and inflate his ego even more.

The two of you chatted idly about your respective days for ten or so minutes as you waited for the cookies to bake. You always had something to complain about considering the nature of your job—it was always either some drunk bonehead interrupting your show, or some drama between the other performers, or some hatred towards your employers… always something, and he always listened, equally attentive every time no matter how repetitive it was. He, on the other hand, never had much to say about his work. He was just a radio host, after all.

The little white timer finally went off, and Alastor cracked open the oven door to peek. He seemed satisfied enough with the result as he quickly removed them, gripping the pan with a small towel and carefully setting it down against the stove-top. The room was immediately filled with the warm, sweet aroma of fresh baked cookies. 

Just a few more minutes of waiting, but you could barely contain yourself when the cookies had finally cooled a bit and firmed up outside of the oven. When Alastor presented one to you it took all your self control not to just straight up bite it out of his hand. 

The cookie had a crisp, golden outside that gave way with a light crunch when you bit into it. The inside was soft and fluffy with a taste of vanilla and chocolate. You sighed loudly in glee at the experience, resting your head against your hand as you chewed.

“You really are the best ‘buckin’’ cook, Al,” You complimented, watching him as he cleaned up his mess from the process. “This recipe is new, right?”

“Ah, not really,” He admitted. You wanted to play offended at the fact he had never made these for you before, but the aura around him seemed to suddenly get a bit too serious for that. There was a vacant look in his eye, but his lips held a tender smile. You took another bite of your cookie as you waited for him to continue.

“It was one of my momma’s recipes, I actually found it today in the box of her stuff I keep,” He was washing out the dishes as he spoke. You could tell by the light glaze in his eye that he was reliving a fond but bitter memory. “She was the best baker I know.”

“If these cookies tell me anything, I would have to agree,” You were licking a glob of melted chocolate off your thumb as you spoke. “I wish I could’ve met her.”

Alastor nodded with a hum, agreeing with your statement. He told you many times before how much she would’ve loved you. You knew he didn’t like sweets, but you tried to prompt him to try one with you in an attempt to lighten the mood. He refused, as expected.

You stood from your seat and began to help him clean, much to his chagrin as he tried to push you towards your room to get ready for bed, but you forced yourself back towards the kitchen and stubbornly began rubbing the dough out of the mixing bowl. He sighed and yielded.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence that was only broken here and there by utensils clinging and water splashing. You rested your head against his shoulder as you absently ran a dry towel over the now clean rubber ladle, and he pressed a featherlight kiss against the top of your head in response.

Maybe he could teach you the recipe later.

#ohdeerfully #☀️ #hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #fluff #alastor x you #human alastor #human alastor x reader #i want cookies so bad #please guys give me one #please

[harlotofupdog]

The Serpent and Thistle - Chapter Three

Hey, check out this dumb wonker harlot who can't even finish a picture in time to post, but here, have a lil sneak peek small version because who finishes stuff anyway? That would be weird and I am demonstrably not weird. Anyway, here's chapter 3 of pubby pubby jizzy jizz.

Summary: Aziraphale is a Met officer who transfers to a small village police station. Crowley is the local publican. They don't see eye to eye.

There is also a plot. I hope.

Rating: E (E for Eventually)

CW/TW: I'm going to add a content warning here now rather than later, just so people are aware - there will be a couple of briefly mentioned deaths in later chapters of this story, but none of them are any of the characters that we know (including animals, of course). It is, in part, a cop story, so there will be a couple of slightly grim allusions, but we're not going into anything too rough in the story itself. I'll do specific CW/TW tags before the chapters in question, but I just wanted to foreshadow that now.

Special eternal thanks to u/Paperclip_Ninja who did an EXTRA SPECIAL last minute beta this weekend for me because I'm useless and hopeless. Thank you always sun-ox.

Excerpty boi:

Aziraphale looks up to where the vicar is pointing out the culprit, perched neatly atop the belfry. Harry, of course, does not look up. He is investigating the vicar’s trouser leg with benign interest, while PC Muriel Constable squints first at their notepad, and then at the church roof, as if the sum they were quite sure of does not add up in the end.

“I’m sure you’re very busy, officers—aren’t we all? But I thought I really should report it. You never know with these things,” says Vicar Brown cheerfully. He seems a nice enough man, although he stands just a little too close and is perhaps a little over familiar. As if to reinforce the point, the vicar claps a chummy hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder and leaves it there, fingers flexing slightly against the wool. It’s the sort of thing that would warrant a hand on his baton if he were walking the beat in south London. Here, though, it just makes him wince.

#good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens after dark #good omens fanart #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

[reallyromealone]

Title: fitness

Fandom: none applicable

Characters: werewolf - reader -

Fic type: story

Pairings: werewolf x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, female character, female werewolf, wife, heterosexual relationship, buff wife, house husband reader, bunny reader

Notes:finally I get to write fem character x male reader (yes you can request that btw)

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

(Name) Was always in awe at his wife, the tall muscular woman who could birthed their three beautiful children and (name) just was so stupidly in love.

And she was also in love with her sweet loving husband, a werewolf and a rabbit Okami were an interesting couple but she couldn't be happier.

"You wanna work out babe?" She asked (name) who nodded, his adorable apron around his waist, the house husband of their relationship "I wanna get jacked up! Strong like my wife!" He said excitedly as he looked up at the other, the 6'8 woman, just barely hitting her shoulder "alright babe but we're gonna be serious about this" she said to her husband, she knew him well.

"Go papa!" Their eight year old yelled as their ten year old recorded and the five year old looked a little confused but happy to be there, the werewolf woman looking at her rabbit husband who was in gym shorts, a t-shirt and sweatbands "let's do some stretches to warm up your bones baby" she said and (name) nodded, the family at a public track area as (name) didn't feel comfortable being at a gym quite yet. The woman noticed her husband's cotton tail twitching excitedly as they stretched, she liked how serious he was taking it.

Though she couldn't figure out why, her husband was a complete homebody who typically used all his energy playing those dance games with the kids.

The two exercised for an hour before the woman carried her short king husband who was drained from it all, to be fair he did not exercise much at all.

"Papa's sleepy!" The youngest giggled as she held her eldest siblings hand, the family getting into the car and everyone settled in and (name) exhausted from it all.

"How do you do that every day!" (Name) Grumbled to his wife as he plopped on the bed post shower, the woman snorting at him "practice and discipline" the bunny turning to stick his tongue out at her "so why the sudden interest in fitness, you hate exercise unless you get cookies" she teased (name) as the other looked away "I... It's stupid"

"Talk to me" she said worried for her husband and (name) looked down and fidgeted "your brother made comments about how small I am again, I'm not the strongest and you're strong and cool and he didn't see how our relationship made sense and--""my brother is an idiot" she said simply and pulled her husband into her chest "I love you the way you are, you're cute and sweet and caring" she said moving his face to kiss him "I like that you enjoy taking the more feminine roles and don't try and put those on me and still recognize that I'm your wife" he gets excited when she wears suits or pretty dresses, their wedding he kept whispering 'wife' repeatedly as he practically vibrated with joy.

"I like you just as you are, just as you like me how I am" she said lovingly and (name) smiled goofily at her "now don't listen to my idiot brother, he's single and gets no dates and you're married with three kids" she said kissing all over his face and (name) hugged her "now, let's go order dinner, you're in no position to cook after that stunt at the track"

"I ONLY TRIPPED TWICE!"

"and yet you fell like you slipped on a banana"

#character x male reader #oc x male reader #oc x reader #male reader #x male reader #character x reader #oc fanfiction #werewolf oc #werewolf x reader #werewolf x male reader

[goatsandgangsters]

had a very interesting day out where I saved a hypothetical dog's life, aesthetically read in the park, and got in the middle of Strangers Arguing in my temporary new job as Patron Saint of Slackliners

first of all, gorgeous day, low 60s, bright blue sky, warm in the sun but with a refreshingly cool breeze, the trees finally have leaves again, peak Late Spring moment

I stopped at the farmer's market and didn't end up buying anything, but someone at a booth gave me a little sprig of lavender (this is a surprise tool that will help us later!)

passed by a guy squatting on the sidewalk picking up the entire contents of a dropped container of grapes, right as his friend was like "it's fine, just leave it, some dog will come by and take care of it" and I whipped around and went "GRAPES ARE SUPER TOXIC TO DOGS!!!" this is an urban area, people don't have yards, there are So Many dogs on the sidewalks, so my first task set by the universe today was sharing Dog Facts so that none of them die

I arrive at the park. I find a lovely tree to sit under. it is the most vibrantly blue-and-green day imaginable. I have my travel mug of hot tea that is only getting hotter sitting in direct sunlight. I have a sprig of lavender in my pocket. I am wearing—this is important scene setting information—high waisted secondhand wool trousers that definitely once belonged to an old man, a button down, tortoise shell glasses, and (again) a sprig of lavender. I am reading a book of oscar wilde plays. I am a parody of myself, but it's fine because I'm having a great time

and then—The Slackline Drama Begins. two people show up and start setting up a slackline near me and these other two girls who're sitting on the grass. the two girls are in the trajectory of the slackline, so the slackliners ask if they could scoot back a couple feet (or maybe they didn't even, the grass girls were like a little off to the side, so they might've just taken issue with the slacklining happening right next to them—not sure, I hadn't fully clocked into the drama yet)

in either case, the girls refuse to move and take issue with the slackliners, who explain that they're really sorry but they need a certain distance between trees and this is one of the few spots that's good for them to set up. the grass girls are like "well then maybe you should have gotten here earlier :))))))))"

important context: this park is 500 acres. it is not a small park. there is no shortage of grass to sit on. I have gotten lost in this park multiple times. it's vast.

there is a lot of back-and-forth between the slackliners and the grass girls. the one slackliner is getting very upset and angry that the grass girls won't just scoot. slackline girl has been having a rough time and hasn't been able to get outside recently and this is very clearly the final shitty-thing straw. the grass girls are immune to this and using that like...... faux-nice "girl who bullied you in middle school" Meanly Chirpy voice to keep being like "well we were here first so this is Our Spot :))))))) you can't ask people to move in public :)))))"

it has gone on long enough that's impossible to ignore, but my mental math says that jumping in and trying to mediate won't go over well, so instead I just look at upset slackline girl and say—loudly—"I'm on your side." bc I felt like if grass girls with their Faux Polite Tones knew other people were paying attention and were siding with Swearing Slackliner, that would help more

Grass Girls do, finally, get up and leave entirely (instead of just...... scooting over five feet) and they make some snide parting remarks. slackline girl calls them assholes, I loudly agree. Slackline Girl is now sobbing, her friend is comforting her, it's kinda clear she's not gonna be able to have a good time even with grass girls leaving

I go over and I'm like "hey I know you don't know me, but do you want a hug?" and the girl says yes, clings onto me crying, she's being very apologetic about the whole thing and trying to explain, and I'm like "no they were literally just sitting on the grass and there is...... So Much Grass. you are not the asshole. there's so much other grass!" I keep this up with her and the friend until she stops crying, bc like sometimes you do need an outside perspective

I go "hey.......... do you want a sprig of lavender?" and she very tearfully nods and goes "I love lavender"

again, I AM DRESSED LIKE A SNAZZY GRANDFATHER, joining this beef between strangers and doling out random sprigs of lavender

anyway, she's cheering up, so I go back to reading, they get slacklining, they end up needing to tie a line to my tree I'm reading under, I don't have a problem with this because I'm not a dick and we can share the tree, the afternoon passes, eventually it's getting a little chilly so I decide to leave and I'm thinking "okay how can I quickly grab their attention to say goodbye"

but the SECOND they see me stand up and grab my things, they're like BYE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! and I'm like "I hope you have a good day!" and she's like "you kinda saved it" I'm full of gooey feelings about it, I genuinely want good things to happen for this person so much, and I'm glad the universe appointed me and my sprig of lavender as her cheerer-upper

in conclusion: I'm enjoying Lady Windermere's Fan so far

#you know how sometimes you just swear temporary fealty to a total stranger

[overheard-at-camp-half-blood]

Call me a hater but HoO would be so much better if there was less romance.

#Percabeth can stay #but none of the couples were interesting to me #and there was so much emphasis on it #rather than their individual character arcs #the reason percabeth worked is because we got to know them before they ended up together #percy jackson #annabeth chase #leo valdez #jason grace #piper mclean #frank zhang #hazel levesque

[eugeniedanglars]

actually my hottest take re: buck's love interests isn't even that i like taylor, it's that i think ali is his worst love interest by an enormous margin and i can't believe she's generally the fan favorite after tommy. taylor and abby may have been kind of bad people but ali committed the far worse tv character sin of being boring

#admittedly i haven't met natalia yet but even by osmosis she's made more of an impact on me than ali did in an entire season #literally could not tell you a single thing about ali other than her name because she truly had no personality whatsoever #maybe i need to rewatch the earthquake eps i vaguely remember liking her in those #but the 2? 3? other times she appeared after that she made zero impact. sold paper. didn't chart. #literally every time she showed up i went 'wait they're still supposed to be dating??' #because they spent so little time developing that relationship i honest to god didn't remember they were a couple #and imo the fact that people like her so much says a lot about this fandom wanting female love interests to be silent and offscreen #but that's none of my business 🐸☕️ #911 abc

[bimiio]

<3

#ok y’all last time i went 2 da sex club there was dis t4t butch4butch couple i met in da pool #n i didn’t know if they were friends or a couple at da time but both of em were kinda bein veeeeery subtly flirty #i think i rmmbr one of em sayin smthn abt my nails n how nice they were #n da next sapphic night is comin up on monday #so i’m wondering if i’ll see em again #n if they’re lookin 4 a third bc👀👀👀 #they both managed 2 find me on instagram after da club even tho none of us had our phones on us #n it says in both their bios they’re poly #idk they’re both so hot i love transmasc butches😭 #maybe i’ll see them again n i won’t b too pussy 2 ask if either of them r interested #m1n3 #nsft #st0ryt1m3

[neverendingford]

.

#so I have officially been to a club/bar now #tag talk #it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit #except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee #it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were #and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun #I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game #but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d #I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went #all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat. #I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info #so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection. #we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers #anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment. #I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation #and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway #oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life. #so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident. #literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow? #Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in. #anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect #also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to #oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it #I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice. #was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar. #wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out #but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed #cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like #I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering #I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

bell’s hells, atheist icons.

#it’s actually super interesting to me that none of them are religious #since the last two campaigns had a least a couple people that were super devoted to certain deities #critical role #critical role spoilers #bell’s hells #eli.posts

[rosesnbooks]

i'm in a good and chatty mood, so if anyone would like to, please write about the last book you've read and liked recently💌

#i'm back in my reading era #i've had a couple of books (from my birthday/bought them myself) but none of them were that interesting #and bc i wanted to finish them no matter what like i always do.. i read less and spent more time online sadly #but then i've read some ok books and booktube brought me back as well. #i'm currently reading radio silence by alice oseman and i like it so far!! #i've read her book loveless last year as a fellow ace and i liked it despite its flaws. made me feel seen<3 #anyways what have YOU been reading and feel free to drop some recommendations #also i have some new mutuals i'd like to get to know if they let me<3 #kate.s.talking

[ghost-types-and-sweets]

thinking of my experiences with other people as a kid.

#horrible. they were horrible. none of them wanted to be around me. they hated me. #avoided me. maybe it was the fascination with death? the morbid? the ones oh so stereotyped to have to do with death? the way i had looked? #people called me twin-braids. a zorua. a ditto. not just other kids. adults too. i was lonely. all i had were the shuppet for a while. #then all i had was willo and the shuppet. they cared. they loved me. they wanted to be friends. we were friends. #after a while i decided they should avoid me for a real reason. a proper. scary. reason. #i learned about poisons that could just grow out of the earth that holds us. the ones that could kill and the ones that could hurt #i decided instead of a stupid reason to avoid me that they were going to fear me. #“watch out for the girl with the ghosts. she could kill you” instead of something like “watch out. shes a zorua” #i got genuinely interested too. researched more and more. made a little handbook for myself. #then i decided they would fear me more. “watch out- she could kill you. she even ate deadly nightshade and lived!” and so. #i did. only a couple. it was agony. but they tasted oh so sweet... #to think that a berry that could kill you so easily tastes so lovely was... something. a formative experience. #cb blogs! lore #<- reminder that cb blogs! lore is not an in character tag and just for easy finding

[chiisana-lion]

hm

#dunno what caused this but ive just been getting really scared and stupidly worried lately #sometimes i think about how i could lose someone at any moment and i might not even know #just stuck there waiting for some kind of answer for someone who wont and cant come back #and it really. terrifies me #my friends are everyhing to me and i just want them all to be okay always #and especially my best friend. if anything were to happen to him i really dont know what i'd do #i tell him and everyone else how much i love them all the time every time i can because what if they were to disappear and leave one day #and we didnt really leave off on a good note #not like i think that might happen anytime soon but just. what if #i love my friends. so much. i cant even put into words how much they mean to me and how theyve helped me get through this hell ive been #going through these past couple of years or so #maybe im annoying and talkative and sensitive and stuff. but the fact thwy still somehow like me the same is really #dunno man in elementary & middle school i lived shamelessly and yet im sure that for every friend i had there was like 5 kids who hated me #and towards high school i essentially was constantly on edge making sure i dont cause trouble for anyone because hey why should i bother #when none of them would really see me for me. just that quiet kid who draws in the corner and doesnt particularly fit in #the novelty of having a new kid transfer in lasted for like a month tops that time when everyone realized i was actually boring as hell #not into celebrities dont listen to mainstream music not interested in guy talk etc etc #i did meet a couple kids with similar interests at some point but im sure they were more casual fans and not absolutely obsessed as i am #and i feel like my sudden energy when talking about it and running my mouth w that topic kinda put them off #so i just. keep everything to myself #so really finding people who actually do like me and enjoy my rambles and i can hwar then ramble in return #and play games or talk abt our silly blorbos with is just. damn this is way more than i deserve isnt it #and i really feel like that could all just. fall apart at some point #and thats the last thing i want #but honestly #i dont mind if they grew to hate me. ill still love them nonetheless. just please dont leave me behind i cant go through that again #might delete this later im just kind of. yeah #sorry to anyone who reads this im kind of going through it

[redrreign]

before first dnd with new group: aww maybe our little guys will become friends with their little guys and theyll all grow as people <3

after first dnd with new group: those little guys are insufferable and we need to rob them immediately

#mutterings #dnd #specifying that im talking about the other players' charactrrs and not the players themselves. i dont know those people #but their little guys are obnoxious and not even a little charming or interesting to me #excluding michael our new bestie big mike the dragonborn <3 love that little guy #but i do Not see thea & snafu even tolerating 90% of these people #and idk we were really carrying the team character interaction wise #i know a couple of them are first timers but GOD please just let ur guy Have Conversations #i think a major problem will be. for some godforsaken reason our dm added like 3 people super last minute to the game #brinnging our player count to about EIGHT which is REALLY BIG imo #especially for a first time dm #and we are using hellish software #and again these characters are Not endearing themselves to me for the most part #excluding the one little guy that's kinda funny and the like. two guys that basically did nothing so we have no read on their characters #its probably definitely just my personal preferences but None of these character types are fun or entertaining to me #we've got. rich person. annoying phd student (x2) #and that one druid that was Disrespecting Our Chicken and definitely trying to scam us or play mind games or something

[sttoru]

‘the king of curses doesn’t like sharing. especially not when it comes to his partner.’

☀︎｜tags. heian era!sukuna x female reader. sfw/fluff ? ig. set in the heian era, duh. jealousy & possessive themes. size difference (reader gets referred to as small!). tried to be realistic w/ sukuna’s characterisation so. . . don’t be surprised to read about him killing somebody. therefore, mentions of blood. reader is implied to have a fear of blood (dw sukuna takes care of it teehee). reader gets called 'brat'. not beta read; this sucks ass.

you were taking a stroll outside of the estate, the hem of the floral kimono you’re wearing lightly dragging along behind you. the weather was perfect with not a single cloud in sight.

a pair of silent footsteps follow yours and you sigh. even though it was an usual occurrence, you still aren’t used to having one of sukuna’s servants at your side at all times. your over protective lover insisted that it was for your own ‘safety’. as if anything or anyone could harm you whilst you stay within the four walls of the estate far up in the mountains.

sukuna is continuously busy and thus decided to assign you a personal maid that accompanies you and takes care of your every need when he isn’t able to. well - looking at the bright side of things - at least she tries her best to hide her presence from you. she tags along silently and only speaks when spoken to.

you stop near a sakura tree and tilt your head back to admire its beauty. after a few minutes pass, you hear a different pair of footsteps walking up your way. you turn your head and see a familiar male servant approaching you with his head held low.

his hands were holding onto a platter with a cup of warm tea and a few of your favorite delicacies. the brown-haired man greets you politely. maybe a bit too politely as his voice carries a bright smile, “good afternoon, my lady.”

you return the greeting with a smile of your own. it was like you to treat the servants around the estate with kindness and care — a total opposite of the king of curses. you take a pastry from the platter and look back up at the man, “thank you for bringing me these. i appreciate it greatly.”

the way you treat the ones of lower status has always been an admirable trait of yours. it might have stirred some forbidden feelings for you in the heart of the male servant. he knows that it was impossible - he’d seen how easily sukuna gets rid of those who get too close to you.

but, he isn’t here. the king of curses isn’t present in the current moment. the brown-haired male shifts in his place a little, fingernails digging into the material of the plate he was holding. he was going to do it — no one could hold him back. not even the maid who stood a couple steps away.

“y-you look very beautiful, my lady.” the servant stutters and bows his head at you. you are surprised to hear such a flattering sentence leave the lips of the man in front of you. none of the men around you had dared to be this straightforward in ages. they all knew the possible consequences that such actions could bring after all.

perhaps it was due to the absent intimidating presence of your lover. still, you can’t help but feel grateful. you giggle softly, covering your mouth with your free hand, “thank you so much.”

the male servant gulps at the sound of your laughter. ‘oh, how lucky the king of curses is - to have such a beautiful woman at his side,’ the man thought to himself. he was sure that he could treat you better than the indifferent sukuna himself.

he hesitates to continue the conversation for a second. there was an urge deep within him; to ask if you’d like to have some tea with him in the dining area. it would be extremely bold and maybe way out of line considering that you’re taken.

but, the way you reacted to his earlier compliment gave him a huge confidence boost. one that would sooner or later send him to his grave.

“would you perhaps be interested in joining me for a drink, my lady?” the servant asks and anything that happens after that instant, is all but a blur.

you can’t process the next few moments as everything happens way too fast. the last thing you remember seeing, was the servant before you. a sudden gust of wind passes by and the sounds of quick slashes fill your ears. you couldn’t figure out anything else as your vision gets blocked by something. or rather - someone.

a familiar and large hand covers the back of your head. the scent of the person holding you is also oddly familiar—a certain scent that made a shiver run down your spine from both excitement and light fear.

“sukuna?” you guess and guess correctly. your voice was muffled due to your face being smushed against his torso. you didn’t yet understand what happened, so you try to pull your body away from the king of curses, only for his grip on you to tighten.

sukuna’s face was as emotionless as ever. his eyes look down at the pile of blood near your feet — what was once a human being had now turned into nothing but a pure crimson liquid.

“foolish. absolutely foolish.” the king of curses grumbles, his tone filled with disgust. he doesn’t soften the grip on your body for even a moment. one of his four arms holds you captive against him, his hand firmly yet somehow tenderly cradling your head just above his midriff, “it seems that i cannot leave this place for a single second.”

sukuna glances at your personal maid who had been bowing to him the moment he appeared out of thin air. she could feel his piercing gaze on her and knew exactly what to do without being told: to clean up the mess that stained the garden’s pavement.

“sukuna,” you try to move your head again, but was still restricted. you let out a small whine in response. you just wanted to see your lover after spending an entire day without him. any thoughts about that servant from earlier had long vanished, “i want to see you. can i?”

the request is an innocent one. there isn’t a visible change in sukuna's expression, but the way you asked him that was quite. . . endearing, if he were to explain it. he would comply if it wasn’t for the literal bloodbath he created. which he doesn’t want you to witness.

“not yet.” he replies and effortlessly uses one of his arms to pick your small body up. your lover notices how you try to steal a glimpse at the scene behind you while he moves you around in his embrace. he grunts and gently smacks the back of your head, “no peeking, brat. do as told.”

sukuna knows how much you hate the sight of blood. he's being considerate towards you — even if you do not realise that just yet. however, he also does not have a single regret about murdering that servant. it was to be expected. anybody who dares to make a move on his woman should suffer his wrath.

plus, it's not like you don't know about sukuna's ruthless actions. you’ve come to get used to them; more and more male servants keep dissappearing without a trace after they’ve been ‘too friendly' with you. it's easy to guess who’s behind those disappearances.

it doesn’t bother you in the slightest. as long as you don't see it happening and as long as you get to stay under sukuna's care and protection - you don’t mind.

“can i look now?” you huff after sukuna has carried you away from the garden. the king of curses clicks his tongue at your impatience.

he sighs deeply before allowing you back on your own two feet, “i do not understand why you’re so adamant on looking at me, but fine.”

you waste no time and immediately open your eyes. your gaze doesn’t wander off towards your surroundings—it instantly settles on sukuna. he looked the same as usual; there was not a single change about his appearance and yet you find yourself smiling at the sight of him.

“i missed you.” you hug your lover and feel him returning the gesture a few seconds later. he looks the other way and may seem indifferent to your display of affection, though the man was secretly grateful for it. for you in general.

“mhm.” sukuna lets out a small noise of acknowledgment and that is all you get out of him. he doesn’t have to say much; his body automatically does the talking. he squeezes your body against his — your small frame disappearing behind his beefy arms.

the king of curses doesn’t understand why, but the way your eyes sparkle when looking at him, intrigues him. sukuna had never seen another human look at him like that before after all. they all cower in fear; except for you. you don’t show a single ounce of fear. thus why you are something - someone - he must keep for himself.

he has and will never have any intent on sharing you with anyone. you’re his, for as long as he exists.

#sttoru writes. #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x you #jjk fluff #sukuna x y/n #jjk x y/n #female reader

[omgthatdress]

The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.

When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.

Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.

When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.

A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.

I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.

In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:

Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.

Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.

They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.

Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.

Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.

#queer history #gay history #lgbt history #queer #gay #lgbt #Youtube