#but she does throw irrational fits like that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fariesoiree · 2 months

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caution! mdni 7k wrdz, prowler!hobie, brat reader, black fem reader, afab reader, reader at a club, hobie n reader argue for a bit, alcohol consumption, car sex, public sex, fingering, p in v, unprotected, cream pie, plan b mentioned, oral fixation, drool/spit, spanking, pretty sure that's it

miffy's note! had plans for this and it did not go in the direction i thought it was going to go in but that's okay bc it would fit better with another character i may or may not write for in the future wink wink hope you like ; pls do not spam like my blog if you enjoyed it, feel free to tell me in the reblogs

the blinding white light coming from your friend’s phone screen does nothing to stop your current mission. if anything, it’s encouragement for you to lick the rim of the shot glass, nestled snugly between the breasts of your other friend, gianna. there’s a grin on your face as your teeth clamps down on the glass. you throw your head back and allow for the alcohol to burn its way down your throat. around you, people holler their praises for your behavior. adrenaline courses through your veins as you lean against gianna, wrapping your arms around her neck in tune to wrapping your lips around hers, plucking the green lime from between her teeth.

“bow, bow, bow!” addison shouts over the excitement. her fingers tap the skin of your ass, shaking in ripples from the way you shake your hips with a small smile on your face.

the club scene is one of your favorite places to be on a saturday night. it’s one of the few times you can justify wearing the tiny denim dress, skirt pleated and fanning out around your thighs. there is nothing that can keep you away from the loud music unless you wanted to, not even hobie.

hobie brown, the one person you were supposed to spend your night with. you remember the morning, the argument that ensued about your plans tonight. your anniversary has always been a big deal to you and he knows that. you just simply can’t wrap your head around why him handling what secret business he has is more important than your happiness. how hard can it be to just put it off for another tonight? what does he even do?

it wasn’t addy or gia who offered to bring you out tonight, but it was you. you’re the one who invited them out, enticing them to dress up in skimpy clothes and parade around the city for free drinks and whatever club you deemed to be worth your time.

“i have to pee!” gia loops her arm around you. she has to lean towards you to have a chance of being heard over the music. even then, there’s still a quizzical look that crosses your face. the few shots you’ve downed throughout the night have dulled your senses.

“she said she has to pee, bitch!” addison giggles in your ear. her words are more slurred than yours and she stumbles on her heels. her hand encircles both of your wrists and takes the lead to the bathroom. her sleek ponytail swings behind her, changing undertones to reflect disco lights overhead.

“where’s your man, tonight? i thought you were going to be in the house.” she yells over her shoulder, following the slow moving line towards the entrance of the multi-stalled bathroom.

you roll your eyes with pursed lips and cross your arms over your chest. “i dunno! he said he’d make it up to me tomorrow but i don’t want to do it tomorrow, i want to do it today.” the smooth song change from the dj hypes you enough to begin a small dance in front of your friends, whining your hips in tiny circles.

your words make gia cast a look at you. “that’s so . . . only you would feel like that.” you know what gia means, hinting that you’re acting irrational to a small problem but you couldn’t care less. you know what you want in when you want it.

the line grows smaller and smaller until you three are standing under the dimmed light bulbs in the bathroom. gia has left your sides to relieve her bladder while your stare at yourself in the mirror. you smile at yourself, running your fingers along the braided pigtails on your head. they cascade down to your waist, courtesy of the added hair, and with very minimal frizz. you’re pleased that you had the opportunity to take pictures before you got to the club. they’re already posted onto your page, with little care about whether or not your boyfriend sees them.

“tell me if i’m wrong, though. i don’t want to do anything tomorrow because tomorrow isn’t our anniversary; today is. i would have stayed home too, all bitter and mad, if he didn’t specifically tell me not to leave the house like . . . what? first, i can’t celebrate our anniversary and second, i can’t celebrate at all?” you turn to addison who slathers her lips in shiny, pink lipgloss.

“no, you’re right. there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to do what you want since he’s so clearly doing that.”

“he’s doing what? who’s he?” gia wedges herself in between the two of you and turns the knob until the water is rushing out the faucet. it’s too loud, even in the bathroom, for her to hear the conversation from the privacy of the stall.

“i was asking if i’m wrong because i don’t think i am. he told me that i can’t go out tonight but i don’t give a fuck. who is he to tell me what the fuck i’m going to do?”

“baby,” you don’t like the way gia is looking at you right now, “let’s think about what hobie does for a living. i think if anyone should tell you what the fuck you’re going to do, it’s going to be him.” she shakes her hand to dry them after checking the holder to see the emptiness. she can see your pout even in the low lighting and shrugs her shoulders. “but you know, do whatever you want to do. you’re going to be all over him again anyway.”

you know she’s right but that’s not the response you wanted to hear. therefore, instead of taking it well and considering her words, you huff and turn around to strut your way out the bathroom. “whatever, i don’t want to talk about it anymore. let's just go dance or something.”

you’re filled with a fervent need to shake off the thoughts that’s blossoming at the edge of your senses. it makes you uncomfortable to think about so you consider another drink, lingering by the bar. luckily for you, your anger works faster and you roll your eyes again at the emotions tossing around in your stomach.

you kind of expected gia to give you a more reasonable answer, considering she isn’t drunk and has always been more logical. you like her like that, thinking of your two friends as the little angel and devil that rest on your shoulders and decide what moves you make. unfortunately for gia, the devil is being just a bit more persuasive tonight.

addy’s read your mind and has already ordered another round of shots for the three of you. she hovers over the bar, looking over her shoulder every now and then to both ensure you haven’t suddenly vanished into thin air and sing song lyrics back to you.

you’re not too far behind her, holding one of gia’s hands and swaying to the music. you keep your eyes trained on addison for the most part, only glancing away to look at your surroundings and occasionally curve a man who gets too close for comfort.

there’s a brief second where the beat changes and your hazed mind is too concerned with enjoying moment and having fun. you anchor yourself onto gia and bend over until your ass is hiked up into the air and thrown around in quick circles. from your position, you’re unable to see the body that walks it’s way towards you until it’s flush against your skin and the fabric of the jeans rub harshly against you.

you immediately stand up, having no interest in cheating on your boyfriend despite the fact that you’re out of house without him being aware and advising against. the first thing you see is gia’s shocked expression, looking at the person behind you. the second expression you see is an awfully familiar face glaring down at you. it takes no longer than five seconds for you to figure out just who it is that’s standing in front of you.

by the time your brain had connected the dots and signaled the big red alert, there’s already a hand clamped firmly over your mouth and the other one wrapped around you waist, dragging you with him wherever he chooses to take you.

your stomach fills to the brim with fear, eyes pleading for some form of mercy all the way through all the shuffling to the vip lounge, somewhere you’ve never been. the sudden and new change in environment doesn’t bring any ease to the situation. instead, you’re struggling to turn around and watch the small shape of your friends disappear as the crowd swallows them up.

“don’t look at them, look at me.” hobie forcefully regains your attention by redirecting your eyes with one sharp tug of your cheek. “the fuck are you doing here?”

your lip trembles but you find strength in the fact that you are not alone. there are other people scattered along the little area he’s pulled you in, lounging on the plush black couches and pouring liquor out of the glass bottles on the table.

they eye you curiously, deciding whether or not your spat would be enough drama to be worth their attention. surely hobie can’t do too much.

“i’m having fun with my friends. the fuck are you doing here? i thought you were supposed to be handling business.”

you can see the way he clenches his teeth and grinds them together, eyes narrowing into slits. his hand, attached to the arm that wraps around your waist and keep you anchored in his lap, previously resting on your thigh grips it with a sudden tightness.

you’re caught in a stare down with him, partly out of fear and partly out of defiance. you sit nearly still and so pretty across one of his thighs. your hands rest in your lap, tugging subconsciously on the bottom of your dress.

“is that your girl?” it’s another voice that brings you two out of your silent argument, turning towards a woman taking a seat across from you. she gleams at you after hobie nods and leans back into the couch. “pretty little thing. should keep her away from me.”

you swear you hear hobie mumble “you can have her” faintly behind you and whip around to stare at him some more. your lips are pressed into a firm line.

hobie doesn’t meet your scrutinizing gaze. he keeps looking at the woman on the other side of the lounge instead. his thumb brushes along your thigh as a distant thought. “anyway, about our deal,” if you blink, you’d miss his eyes flicking in your direction, “i’ll consider it. y’know i don’t like following orders so if i do it, it’ll be on my own terms.”

you’re not oblivious to the glances you get. they look a bit anxious; obviously, you aren’t supposed to know what it is they’re discussing but it’s not the looks that make your stomach turn. rather, it’s because hobie is in fact doing business. you just decided to come to distribute revenge for something you’ve conjured yourself. you lick your lips and curl them into themselves.

the conversation kind of dulls to the back of your mind as you focus on other things. for one, you’ve tantrumed yourself into a corner and for two, your other friends have essentially vanished to the ether. the anxiety it brings on prickles your skin in a way that’s so uncomfortable, you’re nearly nauseous. you’re frenzied, seated in hobie’s lap and on display for everyone to see.

“ — nah, i don’t really plan on staying. we’re actually celebrating tonight so we’re going to head out.” hobie brings you out of you frazzled daze by shifted your weight on his lap until you’re up on your feet. he has to tug the back of your dress down to cover your black panties, exposed from the way your dress has risen and bunched around your hips.

you would have laughed if you weren’t nervous. “what about my friends?” you say as you trail behind him, hand in his and weaving through the crowd of people on the way to the exit.

“your friends are two grown women at a club. i think they’re capable of handling themselves.” hobie knows you can barely hear him but that doesn’t stop him from trekking forward. not once did he turn to speak to you or even pause his pace, up until you’ve both stepped outside into the cool air.

“okay but i came with them. i can’t just leave without telling them i’m leaving. they’re probably worried about me.” the whine is your voice is hobie’s breaking point.

he drops your hand and turns around, glaring down at you. your head is cradled between both of his calloused palms gently, unlike the way he holds you in his gaze. he’s tempted, right here on the sidewalk, to shove his thumb in your mouth to shut you up but he remains rational with what little sense he has left. “i asked you to do one simple thing. one thing. i said we could do something tomorrow. one thing, love.”

you reel your head back until you’re free with a miffed expression. again, your arms are crossed over your chest but this time in hopes of serving as some sort of protection. “i don’t care what you asked me to do. you should have rearranged your plans for me.”

“i should have what?” hobie’s voice gets pitchy with disbelief. “sweetheart, look at what you’re wearing and then think about who bought it for you with the money from their job.” his hand comes to run down his face, pulling on the skin with a sigh. “you’re being unbelievable, right now.”

you don’t hear him, not how he says it. what you hear is yelling, complaints, and how much he hates you. your sensitive feelings are wounded at him calling you unbelievable, especially when you make perfect sense. he is just too stubborn to hear you out. “so? you should buy me stuff. that’s the least you can do when you put work above me, work that i’m not even allowed to know about.”

again, you’re caught in a stare down with your boyfriend. both of you are steaming with frustration from the other not wanting to accept defeat. you have no interest to be caught at a standstill and certainly have no interest in being seen arguing on the sidewalk.

“whatever. you’re being a dick.” you turn on your heel and stomp away. your shoes click with each step on the sidewalk in tandem with your steps. in your hand, your phone screen shines bright as you scroll through the apps.

“where are you going? i didn’t park over there.” hobie’s voice only gets slightly fainter behind you before picking up in volume. his shadow lingers behind yours, always staying only a few paces behind.

your shoulders rise and drop in a shrug. “i don’t know. wherever the wind takes me.” you don’t mention that you’re planning on getting an uber, finally finding the black and white icon. your head lifts for a moment as you try to figure out what street you’re on.

“are you calling a ride?” it doesn’t occur to you that hobie is tall enough to just see over your shoulder, especially with the lack of a privacy screen. his hand comes in contact with your shoulder to stop you and turn you around to face him. “you’re not getting an uber, duck. i’m taking you home.”

“i’m not calling anyone and i’m not going anywhere with you, either. stay out my business.” you don’t even attempt to hide your phone from him. you let him watch you select the location and wait for the estimated prices and wait times to load.

“you’re being such a brat, do y’know that?” hobie has to physically force your phone out of your hand and into his back pocket to stop you. there has never been a moment where you’ve worked yourself up and listened to anyone but yourself. you being slightly inebriated is just the cherry on top.

“and you’re being a stupid ass bitch.” you jab his chest with the tip of your finger with so much force, you stumble forward into his arms. your words are laced with venom and you have full intention to keep walking away if he hadn’t tightened his grip and hoisted you into the air.

“okay, that’s enough.” hobie does what he can to protect your honor, hooking his hands under your knees. he sounds exhausted with this whole thing, taking it upon himself to take matters into his own hands. “you’ve officially lost of your mind”

you can squirm all you want but it’s no match for his iron grip. it still surprises you that someone as lanky as hobie is about to throw you around with such ease. he doesn’t even struggle with so much as a grunt.

“you’re being a prick. i hate you!” your forced proximity only upsets you further and is shown through your exaggerated dramatics. you’re upset, but still feel the need to wrap your arms around his neck for added stability.

“mhm,” he hums, adjusting your weight so he can gain the ability to pull his keys out of his pockets. you’re not sure what type of car he drives and truthfully, you’re not too interested in knowing.

all you know is it’s sleek, black, and the only thing hobie splurged on in your entire relationship. it must be nice if people gawk and take pictures when he speeds past on the highway.

the doors unlock with a chime and a small flash of the headlights. right after, hobie pops the door open and slots you inside and nicely as he can. he’s a bit too tall to do it comfortably, having to hunch over to get you in the car.

you huff and whine and groan behind the tinted windows, legs and arms crossed. you sit and stare out the windshield when hobie rounds the front of the car and gets in the drivers seat.

hobie doesn’t start the car right away. instead, he sighs and looks over at you. he reaches over the middle console to encompass your hand under his. “do you want to try that again or are you going to keep acting like a spoiled brat?”

“i’m not acting like anything.” you don’t bother to move your hand away or turn to look at him. you just sit there, knees turned towards your door and away from him. this is your silent announcement. you’ve made your choice and you’re standing firm in it.

“you’re right. you’re not acting because you are one. so are we going to talk about it or not?” hobie leans against the door. he’s dropped the keys into the cup holder and stares at the side of your face, trying so hard to be as flat as possible. “actually, you don’t have to say anything because i’m going to talk. you’re going to listen.”

“i’ll listen when i want to listen.” you mumble to yourself. it’s absentminded and really only meant as spite. it’s unfortunate that hobie doesn’t take it that way. or maybe he does. the lines blur together when he has your chin in the palm of his hands and looking at you with the most disapproving expression.

he doesn’t know how to get inside your brain. he can see the insistence in your brown eyes. hobie is already fed up with this conversation and it has barely began. no matter what he says to you, you deny and deny and deny any fault. all the blame belongs to him, apparently. that’s the narrative he’s forced to hear. you’re not going to listen to his words. he’s going to have to break you down using other unconventional methods.

hobie runs his thumb along the flesh of your bottom lip. it’s soft and molds around the imprint of his finger. the action does exactly what he hoped, warming you up to his touch enough for him to slide the pad of his finger onto your tongue and press it flat. “do you ever listen to the sound of anyone’s voice or just your own?”

you had nothing to say and even if you did, giving him a response would only prove his point. you just sit there with hobie’s thumb pressing and sliding around your tongue. your mouth is gaped open just enough for your teeth to rest against the hardness of his knuckle. drool begins to pool behind the bottom row of your pearly whites. you could easily pull your head back but you don’t, far more interested in where he plans on taking this.

“you’re being silly, dove. i’m talking to you because i can understand why you’re upset but all this other stuff is stupid. you can bitch and moan all you want but until you shut up and listen to me, we’re not going to get anywhere.” his thumb crawls further and further down the cavern of your mouth until your eyes are watering with what little oxygen you can get down. he holds it there until your throat is constricting around it.

afterwards, hobie smears the spit along your cheek. he pulls his hand back into his own vicinity and reaches under the seat for the chair. it slides back with the low vibrating hum until it’s at it’s furthest setting. hobie also moves the back of the seat back so there is enough space for someone to sit comfortably in his lap, that someone being you.

but not yet.

first, hobie reaches over and pulls your legs over the middle console. your skin is smooth with shea butter and sparkles with body glitter. his hands find your strappy heels, flicking the end of the strap up and out of the buckle. “what? you have nothing to say now?”

you’re still boiling with anger but don’t pull back when he slides your shoes off and tosses them onto the floor. “i thought you didn’t want me to. you can’t even make up your mind. first, you say i talk to much and then you say i don’t talk enough.”

“because every time i give you a chance, it’s just bullshit.” hobie massages the balls of your feet in a way that would have otherwise been romantic under different circumstances.

“you’re bullshit. you’re a liar, ‘bie. your business was not important enough that you had to blow me off for an entire night. you had a conversation and left.” you sneer at him from your position. your white painted toes catch the dull lighting from the streetlamp and contrast in hobie’s tanned palm.

hobie takes a sharp breath at your words. every time he thinks he’s made progress, you’re right back where you started. “you know that i get you whatever you want, do whatever you want to do. there is nothing in this world that you could want. you ask me for it and it’s done. one would think it’s reasonable to assume that if i ask you to do one thing, i have a reason. i didn’t pull that out my ass and say you should just stay home.”

“yes, you did.” you’re unrelenting in not allowing hobie to speak any sense into you. anything he says is wrong and he’s going to get the point sooner or later. it’s easier for hobie to agree, apologize, and make it up to you as soon as possible. “because you don’t love me anymore.”

it happens so fast, the way hobie has you pulled over the console into his lap. the movement is awkward and hasty and you can admit to hitting your head on the ceiling but in the end, you’re in his lap and straddling his waist, knees tucked on either side.

“what? are you going to yell at me some more, now?”

his response is not words but pulling down the tube top section of your dress down. your tits spring out and bounce with their newfound freedom. hobie squeezes them in both his hands, rolling your slowly hardening nipples between his fingers. you have to fight a gasp while your faces squeezes together.

“if i have to break you down piece by piece so that you think for more than five seconds, i will. otherwise, we can have a normal conversation and you can admit that you’re wrong.” hobie doesn’t have to wait for a response before he’s flipping up the bottom of your dress. it’s a good thing too because you don’t answer.

you’re a bit too focused on remaining adamant when hobie has his hands, searing hot, onto your hips. you chew your lip between your teeth and try not to make it obvious when you sneak glances down to your clothed cunt, right over his jeans. but of course hobie catches you; you’re right in front of him.

“you know why i didn’t want you to come?” hobie holds your hips firm in his grasp as he rolls them back and forth on his lap.

your clit occasionally catches against the fabric covering his zipper. you swallow a mewl, hands circling around his neck once again. this time, your fingers have gone to lace together on the cushiony head rest instead of just gripping onto his shoulders. you give your head a small shake.

“because, pretty, i don’t want those people to know who you are. you’re my whole world. they find out who you are and don’t like something i do, who do you think they’ll take it out on?” he’s tempted to mock you, smiling at the whispers that fall from your lips. it’s a shame that it takes you this much to play nice.

you fight between moving away and crawling back to the passengers seat and losing yourself to him. in the end, you’re quickly growing agreeable, grinding down on him on your own so much so that hobie doesn’t need to do much but ensure you maintain a certain pace. “don’t care.”

two sonorous smacks against your ass rain out. the sound sizzles the air around you and you yelp, falling over his shoulder. you wouldn’t be surprised if the skin was already beginning to turn a very faint tint of red with how heavy-handed he decided to be.

“try that again, dolly. you’re gonna hear it whether you want to or not.” he rubs the stinging pain as an apology but keeps you held in a firm glare. he trusts that you’ll do it right this time or he’ll just have to do it again and again.

this time, you tremble and twitch. your eyes begin to spring with tears again from the pain but they dry just as quickly. “y – you.” you speak into the cotton clothing of his shirt. it nearly fills your mouth and muffles your words.

there’s two more slaps that has you reacting in a similar manner, lurching away from his hand and hovering into the air. hobie forces you right back down, pulling your panties to the side. the denim underneath you is quickly replaced by hobie’s hand, circling a finger around your swollen clit. “again.”

“me?” it’s an answer you’re surprised about when you lift your head to look at him but it has to be true because the other answers weren’t. you have the sudden urge to pull your knees together but you’re unable to with him seated between them, drawing moans from your mouth. you think about leaning forward to kiss him but hobie must have read your mind because his hand comes to circle around the column of your throat and holds you in place.

“mhm, my entire world. the best way to get back at me is through you. i don’t like them knowing too much about you and getting you too involved. this is my shit and i like knowing you’re at home, safe, instead of out in the world when shit like that is happening.” he tilts his head as he watches you unravel, just from his fingers on your clit, swiping along the skin.

by now, you’ve gotten wet enough for his fingers to slip further towards your entrance. your arousal gathers enough to glide they’re way along your walls and push inside. he starts off with one to test the waters, getting a front row seat at your expression change.

“dirty fucking slut, all this to get you to shut up for more than five seconds.” his teeth catch the light, smirking arrogantly at you. “you ready to say you’re sorry? gonna admit you’re wrong?”

his finger is accompanied by another before he can get through the questioning. you can hear his smugness in his words but it all gets drowned up inside your head. there’s nothing that can get through to you except the sound of your voice and your whines for something more. “ ‘bie . . . please.”

“that’s not an answer,” he says, still pumping his fingers inside you. they find the little spongey spot that makes you squirm with ease. he considers you lucky that he doesn’t take repercussions for your slip up. “tell me you’re sorry for being difficult, treacle.”

hobie half expected you to nod and cry out your apologies. a part of him knew better than to expect you to turn the tide of your actions and actually feel any remorse. it just makes that part all the more upset when you confirm his suspicions and shake your head. “should have –”, your body trembles and you let out a gasp upon feeling your cunt twitch in his hand, “changed p – plans.”

“jesus fucking christ,” hobie grumbles in your ear. his fingers slip out of you in a squelch, deafening to your lust-focused ears. he doesn’t give you long to miss the feeling before he's wrapped a hand around your waist and planted a hand firmly on your cheek. with this new position, hobie is able to lift your body until you’re on your knees. with his other hand, he plunges his fingers inside you, settling on a rapid pace.

each glide of his fingers sends you into another spiral of frenzy. your legs shake to hold up your weight; you’re sure you would have fallen by now, had hobie not held you so closely to him. “oh my – fuck!” you cling onto him, hiding your head in his bundle of locs, tied messily at the top of his head. the bun slouches over from supporting your head and ends of locs poke out of the hairtie.

“i can explain it you all i want but you won’t listen, right? because you’re right and i’m wrong. should have changed my plans, huh? should have just said no, i’m going to spend time with my girl who has a more flexible schedule than anyone else this concerns. cause’ you’re a special fuckin’ princess, aren’t you?”

your nails dig into his skin, pink french tips leaving little marks. your mouth falls open in a little “o” and your toes curl beneath you. your entire body feels as though it’s going to explode. you can’t help but fuck his fingers back, pushing your hips farther and farther down as far as you can go. “mhm,” you aren’t sure what you’re agreeing to but knowing wouldn’t have changed a thing. “ ‘bie, i’m gonna –”

“i know, princess, i know.” he says, turning his head towards yours. he lips meet the very edge of your jawline, kissing what he can reach. it’s encouragement to bring you to the brink of collapse, shaking through your orgasm.

your cunt throbs, gushing your tart arousal all over his fingers. the feeling pulls a dull ache at the base of your core until you can’t take anymore, reaching back to swat his hand away. as relieving as it is to feel his hand exit the warm slickness of your cunt, you’re not quite done yet.

hobie brings his glistening fingers up to your face, after seating you back comfortably in his lap. they stick together loosely with the webs of cum stringing between them. you grab his wrist and stare at him with hungry eyes, resting his fingers into your mouth. your tongue wraps around them with ease and licks the tart dewiness of his fingers.

he digs his fingers into your mouth, exploring the wet cavern meticulously. your spit bubbles and spills out the corner of your mouth. you choke when he pushes too far but you lean into it, curling your mouth around his digits until they’re clean and shiny.

below you, hobie has begun to unbutton his jeans and pull them down with enough space to pull his dick out of his boxers. you can’t see much of it in the moonlight but you’ve become acquainted with it enough to grow horny again.

your hand flies to encompass the shaft and runs along the length. your circle the tip with your thumb, smearing the budding precum across his skin. you watch it get harder and stiffen in your hands, all while hobie forces you to drool and drool some more. it’s when he’s ready that he pulls his fingers out your mouth lifts your head with his wet hands. “i want you to sit on it, love.” he sweetens the deal by pecking your lips and getting the faintest taste of your arousal. if he had more room he would have had you bent over and suckling at your clit.

he doesn’t have to ask you again because you’re eager to raise your hips. you align his tip with your sticky entrance, still dripping from your previous orgasm. the first push of his tip in your pussy makes your face contort and twist. you pause to allow the pain to dull before continuing again, slowly inching your way down.

hobie sits, a hand resting on the door. the other comes to your cheek, swiping across in what you assume is supposed to be empathetic and soothing. he makes little grunts, the farther he gets into your folds. you’re just as tight as he remembers, but somehow even better.

you get lower and lower until he’s sheathed completely into you, cockhead nudging the deepest parts of you. your expression eases but your cunt flutters, crying out in need. you wait for hobie to do something . . . and wait and wait and wait.

hobie watches your expression become more and more confused, occasionally spurring up in need when his dick twitches or jumps. he doesn’t say anything, just showcasing a hint of a smile as your blown out eyes become more and more frustrated.

“you’re pissing me off.” you don’t wait for him to say something when you decide on moving, yourself. you rise and fall on his dick; it disappears in the space between your legs. you can hear the sound of skin slapping against each other in a melody that’s vinous, hazing your mind with a thick fog.

“it’s your dick, baby. take it yourself.” he groans. the feeling of your perfect pussy wrapped around his leaking dick makes him frantic for more but he maintains his restraint, gripping the hand grip on the door.

you’re bouncing on his cock as if you’re trying to force an orgasm out of you both. the car rocks in the street and the windows slowly begin to fog with each panted breath. it’s obvious to any onlooker or pedestrian what’s happening inside but it’s a distant thought in the back of your head.

the current position has hobie lined up right with your sweet spot but there’s just something that you aren’t doing. it’s so close, you can feel it. your body feels so good but it’s not enough. you’re partially satiated and still craving more, whining in frustration when you feel him mere inches from sending you astral projecting.

you’re growing desperate, slamming yourself down fervently. even with your mouth open and moans spilling out, you’re still frowning. your hand flattens against the ceiling as if that’ll do anything but still, you just can’t seem to get it right.

“shit, baby, you’re doing so good.” your actions do nothing for yourself but hobie is having a great time, head throwing back against the headrest. to him, you’re repeatedly swallowing his dick inside you. you’re pushing him to the edge, forcing out moans from his mouth.

you’re convinced his oblivious; usually his words would act as encouragement but now you’re just upset. you’re upset he’s even getting a chance at cumming and you’re not. it makes you stop rather quickly, a pout across your lips.

hobie raises a brow, hands falling on to your thighs. they dance along your skin and invoke goosebumps in his wake. “what’s your problem?” his hands slip under your dress and out of it again.

“this isn’t working. i want you to fuck me. i can’t do it on my own.” your hand is still on the ceiling and the other is still on his shoulder. you’re essentially cockwarming him out of sheer exasperation, telling him to do something. not begging, not even asking, but telling.

“what do you mean, pretty? you’re a big girl, you don’t need me to do anything. you can do it yourself because you ‘hate me’, and i need to ‘stay out your business’.” he mocks you with a matching frown, hands still gliding around your skin. they move up and down your sides now, wanting to pull your dress off but not having the space to do so without it being too difficult.

your pout only grows the more he speaks to you. your words in his mouth shoot back at you like chemical warfare. if you weren’t already so desperate to cum, you would have hopped off and back into the passenger's seat. “stop acting like that.”

“you stop acting like that. you’re being a real brat and want me to do something for you but can’t even apologize. y’know you’re being one too because you wouldn’t just tell me to cancel everything unless you’re being petty.”

“ho - bie,” you whine, a small fist pounding against your chest. you attempt to see if you’re really and truly incapable of getting yourself off. it’s evident with your whine when you grind your hips down that you’re unable to do anything. it feels good but it’s not good enough and you both know it.

“say it.” he says. he tucks one of his hands behind his head while the other goes to fondle your tits. they’re squished and tugged in all sorts of directions. “like you mean it or we can just go home.”

you let the idea sit in your head as if you’re really considering it but you’ve realized you don’t have much of a choice. you could have said sorry before on the street when you knew you were wrong but you didn’t. you put up a fight because being more wrong is better than admitting to being wrong.

the longer you sit there in silence — because hobie sure as hell isn’t saying anything — the more your dilemma dawns on you. “i’m sorry, hobie. i didn’t mean . . . i’m sorry for being annoying and talking to you the way i did.”

“are you lying?” he tilts his head with a smile. there’s still that same fire in your eyes, especially after admitting defeat. he doesn’t mind it as much now that you’ve said it though, because it’s just the first step in getting you to chill the fuck out.

“no,” it’s flat when it falls out your mouth but it works and you’re rewards with hobie’s hands on your waist.

he’s got the chair adjusted enough to be able to anchor his feet onto the floor. his shoes allow him a good grip to thrust into the air at a remarkable speed. his hands serve the purpose of holding you in place as he pounds into you.

hobie is a mess underneath you, whining with heated breaths himself. he holds you hard enough to bruise, falling so far off the edge that he drops your body against him to meet his thrusts. it’s hard enough that you go crashing forward within the first few seconds, perched over hobie close enough to feel his breath fan over your face.

if you could, you would have traced your finger over his face, paying extra attention to the dimple that comes and goes. instead, your head falls into the crook of his neck and you give up what little control you held on so dearly to your heart. “i’m sorry, i’m s – so sorry. was mean and i d – didn’t mean it.”

it only takes a little bit of his attention to change your tune.

“i know, dove. i get it,” he’s not too focused on your apologies when he’s ready to burst. he’s merely holding himself back for your sake, wanting to cum with you. his entire body is on fire and his skin is dewy with sweat but he’ll hold off, only for you. “shit, gonna cum soon.”

in response, you slink a hand in between your bodies and catches it on your clit. you tremble on impact but rub little circles in a messy manner. your earlier attempt did nothing but make you sensitive and needy. having hobie’s cock actually hit where you need him most brings an entirely new wave of desire.

it only takes a few more seconds before you’re sloshing out cream, sticky and leaving the base of hobie’s cock white. each clamp of your pussy convinces hobie that you’re trying to milk him dry. you’ aware or not, are practically begging for him to cum. you’re hungry for it.

he lets out a final gasp and shudders, releasing thick spurts of cum inside you. it’s hot and fills your insides to the brim. it’s nearly uncomfortable, dripping down your folds out of any gap the liquid can find.

hobie heaves a breath, gentle with the way he shuffles about to reach into the glove compartment. he can hear your complaints about the movement, too sensitive to stand it, but he doesn’t respond, not verbally. he ever-so-kindly pulls out his dick and uses the napkins to clean what he can. it doesn’t do the best but it’s okay, for now. “are you okay?”

you look down, lifting your dress to aid in the cleanup. your hair is frizzy and no longer slicked but other than that, you’re fine. “mhm,” you hum, patting your flushed cheeks with your hands. you wish they were cooled, feeling a little hot with all the warmth trapped in such a small space. “i’m not mad at you anymore.”

“oh yeah?” he chuckles, balling up the napkins and discarding them haphazardly somewhere in the darkness. hobie helps you back into your seat, reaching out a hand to brush it lovingly over your head and down the length of your ponytail. “you really have to start trusting me. i have your best interest at heart, lovey, i promise.”

you shrug dismissively, flattening a hand over your stomach. your cunt still feels warm with cum and you’re briefly reminded by the moisture around your thighs. “you should probably get me a plan b.” under the tips of your fingers, you can feel the vibrating waves of your stomach rumbling. “and some food, i drank a shit ton and after that, i’m pretty hungry.”

the keys jingle in hobie’s hands when he picks them up. he turns the car on and cracks the windows. music immediately blasts from the speakers, shaking the interior of the car. “i thought you were on the pill?” it comes out more of a question than a statement.

“i am but it’s just in case. do you want to be safe or do you want another brat running around?”

hobie rolls his eyes but he doesn’t do much more but hand you his phone. “just put in directions to the nearest pharmacy. two of you right now would be too fuckin’ much.”

#✮🕷✮⋆˙ 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵 #hobie x black!reader #hobie smut #hobie brown #x black fem reader #astv hobie #x black reader #x reader #hobie x reader #hobie x y/n

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fromchaostocosmos · 4 days

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(Because I don't know if/when this article will get put behind a paywall I'm putting the whole thing here)

This weekend, Representative Rashida Tlaib, a Democrat from Detroit, appeared at the “People’s Conference for Palestine,” where she called for the voters to punish Joe Biden at the ballot box. “It is disgraceful that the Biden administration and my colleagues in Congress continue to smear [anti-Israel demonstrators] for protesting to save lives no matter faith or ethnicity,” she exclaimed, “It is cowardly. But we’re not gonna forget in November, are we?”

Also this weekend, the Washington Post reported on plans that Donald Trump is sharing with donors to crush protests by deporting non-citizens participants. “One thing I do is, any student that protests, I throw them out of the country,” he promised. “You know, there are a lot of foreign students. As soon as they hear that, they’re going to behave.”

In short, Tlaib is so angry at Biden for denouncing antisemitic rhetoric at pro-Palestine protests that she wants to elect the man who is promising to deport them from the country. (And while she phrased it coyly, telling people to punish Biden’s “disgraceful” behavior in November can only describe one kind of recourse, because November is when people vote.)

There is something irrational, at least on the surface, about this horseshoe alliance. Many progressives are already pleading with the anti-Israel left to reconsider its determination to punish Biden, whose campaign it has spent months attempting to disrupt or target with harassment. And some protesters surely do hope merely to move Biden as far left as possible and will climb down eventually.

But the position Tlaib revealed this weekend does have a real logic to it that suggests she may not merely be bluffing.

Tlaib, like the groups organizing the protests, opposes any two-state solution to the conflict and uses the slogan “from the river to the sea” to denote her demand for liberation of the entire territory controlled by Israel. Her speech this weekend confirmed the militant thrust of her position. It contained not even a word of condemnation of terrorism, any mention of the hostages, or acknowledgment that Jewish Israelis possess any rights to live under any future settlement. She treated criticism of antisemitic rhetoric at the protests — the extent of which can be debated, but the existence of which cannot — as nothing more than a smear.

She understands the conflict as one of pure good versus pure evil, with the side of good having no obligations and incurring no guilt, and the side of evil having no rights.

Trump has the same belief structure but in reverse. While Tlaib lambasts Biden for continuing to support Israel’s right to self-defense, Trump and his allies attack him for attempting to constrain its exercise.

David Friedman, Trump’s former ambassador to Israel and the leading candidate to hold the same position in a second term, told Marc Caputo that Trump sees the conflict as one of good versus evil. “It’s a far less nuanced approach,” he said. “Trump sees adversaries in two buckets: Are they people who are loyal to America or share American values? Or are they people who threaten America and hate American values? Not everyone fits cleanly in those buckets. But in the Middle East, they do.”

Likewise, Matthew Brooks, chief executive of the Republican Jewish Coalition, explained Trump’s position as a “blank check” to Benjamin Netanyahu. “He’s giving the Israelis a blank check to go in and do what they need to do to destroy Hamas and eliminate the threat in Gaza from Hamas. And what he’s also saying, which is actually true, he said ‘but do it quickly’ because time is not Israel’s ally right now.”

Netanyahu has always tried to maintain some balance between the demands of his right-wing coalition partners to maintain control over all occupied territory and the hope by American presidents to create a two-state solution. Netanyahu has putatively left the door cracked for peace while doing everything in his power to make it impossible: from allowing settlers in the West Bank to terrorize Palestinians with total impunity to shoveling money to Hamas in hopes of marginalizing any Palestinian figures who might want to negotiate peace.

Netanyahu is a one-stater. Trump is increasingly signaling his support for a one-state solution. Tlaib likewise supports a one-state solution. And while Trump and Tlaib obviously have opposing visions for how that single state should be governed, they share an incentive to discredit the forces of compromise that stand in their way and an unstated commitment to some violent future conflagration that will settle the struggle one way or another.

#rashida tlaib #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

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porternash · 18 days

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Got tagged by @goodsirbeasts in this dope little get to know the blogger thing with a few questions I haven’t seen before so here goes!

Do you make your bed?: *Starbomb Smash! voice* Absolutely fucking not! lmao not even as a kid tbh. Ama learned a looong time ago she was not winning that battle with me, putting the fitted sheet on each corner and the pillows in cases is as ‘made’ as it gets 😂

What’s your favorite number?: Six, and I couldn’t tell you why. It’s my go to tho!

What is your job?: CSRI in Spending Accounts—basically I talk to old people about their money in relation to healthcare. Also known as Dante’s secret 8th circle of hell! 😂

If you could go back to school, would you?: Depends! Does it have to be in America and can it be college? Like in this scenario, I’m assuming it’s my choice without money as an object, hell yeah, I’m going to university in Scotland and actually get my degree in literature. “Vince, you’d make the exact same mistake you did the first time?” Fuck yeah, I had a blast in the classes I actually wanted to take. I love learning. But I’m geographically challenged so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Can you parallel park?: ………………….Theoretically.

A job you had that would surprise people?: Uhhh underage construction worker? lmfao my old man used to take me to jobs with him over the summer because the neighbours kept calling CPS about me being 11 and home alone all day. Fun fact, that’s how I got the scar on my left foot! I jumped from an unfinished deck about four feet down directly onto an upright nail that went through my Super Construction Approved canvas sneakers, the bottom of my foot, the top of my foot, and the top of my shoe! So! 😂 I am my own worst enemy.

Do you think aliens are real?: I think it’s narcissism to assume they’re not, tbh. We know too much about this planet and humanity to believe it’s *just us*. Also I’d kind of like them to go ahead and just pull the trigger piglet.

Can you drive a manual car?: I can probably figure it out tbh. I’m a strangely good driver after I get a feel for the car/area.

What’s your guilty pleasure?: I don’t think I have any? I’m pretty open about what tickles my pickle. Unfortunately for you fuckers.

Tattoos?: Horny. lmao jk I have ….uh….ttttirteeen? 😅 (they said with absolutely no certainty) I’ll do an update post soon with all of them because they’re currently all healed and for the most part complete, but I have covered up my first ever tattoo because it was ugly and shitty and the dumb idea of an 18 year old off their meds lmfao and I have a pic off hand of the cover up here so enjoy~

Favourite colour?: deep greens, teals, pinks, purples, and reds. They’re plural because I’m a bit colorblind and can’t tell shades.

Favourite type of music?: Honestly put it in front of me and I’ll listen to it, but the stuff I tend to keep and replay constantly is on the rock spectrum. But hell I know every word of Dolly’s 9 to 5, Ludacris’ Stand Up, fucking Cab Calloway’s Minnie the Moocher! So yeah, just, throw whatever at the wall see what sticks approach 😂

Do you like puzzles?: Yeh actually! I love puzzle games and like actual jigsaw puzzles and if I’m in the right mood logic puzzles are fun.

Any phobias?: It’s spiders. It’s purely spiders. It’s completely irrational, I know it is, but they fucking terrify me.

Favourite childhood sport?: Soccer and touch football in high school, because it meant we were playing with the weight training guys and that was always a blast.

Do you talk to yourself?: Not out loud normally but yeah in my head constantly. I’m like JD from Scrubs but without the budget for elaborate scenarios 😂

What movie(s) do you adore?: Fuck me dead. Okay. No order of preference these are just my top five.

1. The Brothers Bloom - My first exposure to Rian Johnson and a day I will genuinely never forget at the theater with @goodsirbeasts 💜

2. Pacific Rim - I was excited for this movie for years before it came out because all I knew was the cast list and the premise (GDT making giant monsters? say fucking less) Then it actually came out and I saw it in IMAX with that bitch *gestures to @goodsirbeasts* and again, fucking transformative.

3. Blitz - okay hear me out 😭

4. Inglorious Basterds - God fucking shit I saw this in theaters with @goodsirbeasts too, on my 19th birthday! Bitch we need to start going to the movies again I miss it.

5. Silent Hill (2006) - Like PacRim, I pretend the sequel doesn’t exist and they’re both perfect solo films. But it definitely hit something in me as a kid watching this because it’s such a fucking good movie even outside of the adaptation aspect.

6. Bonus mentions; Constantine, Too Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, the entire Scream series of films, and Ever After. Just to pinball around the entire spectrum lmfao

Coffee or tea?: Coffee, I tend not to like tea for the most part unless it’s milk tea.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?: A drummer, for some godforsaken reason? I couldn’t play drums, at all. Not even a little bit at the beginning 😂 After that it’s never really changed, I always wanted to be a writer :3

This was fun! I’m trying to catch up on these tag games guys I swear 😭 Imma tag @kalgalen @captainsaku @bisexualr2d2 aaand @fuckwritersblock kissing you bitches all on the cheek 🩵

#actually me #vince’s dumb personal life #the fucking picture isn’t attach the first time gdi

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naoa-ao3 · 9 months

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Calling From The Heart

Gilgamesh had thought a cell phone would be a good thing. Thena wanders off some times and though he knows she can take care of herself he can't help but worry when she does. It's part of the reason they're so far from anywhere inhabited.

Just the same he fears that one day she might wander off in a fit of madness and never return. It's irrational but he can't help but feel it and so he buy's her a cell phone. It's more for his peace of mind than anything else.

She opens it at the table, a look of amusement spreading across her face. Phastos could have made something infinitely better but they're all living their separate lives now and this will work just as well.

She looks at it curiously and tears into the packaging, the little plastic thing small in her hand as she smiles.

"We have a phone." She say's.

He rubs at his neck. "Well, this one can leave the house and it came as a pair so I have one too."

She presses buttons and seems relaxed enough.

He cherishes moments like these. Moments when everything is calm and he has his Thena, the woman he knows and loves. The woman's he's fought along side of and called friend for all his waking life.

"Show me yours." She say's, leaning across the table.

It's a warm night but not so warm they can't go for a walk later.

He fishes his out and hands it to her and see's something bright in her eyes. "Mine is already set up. You'll have to activate yours." He say's.

They're simple gadgets.

Phastos would have been bored.

"I can call you on it from anywhere?" She asks.

He shrugs. "So long as it can get a signal."

There's a tower put up not too far away. He's found it isn't great but they should be able to get ahold of each other.

"You can even make it play music." He say's and she laughs like she hasn't been on the Domo, like she hasn't seen wonders lightyears ahead of this.

"You think I should?" She asks and she throws her head back and laughs loudly.

He's glad she likes it, it isn't much and it won't stop Mahd Wy'ry from taking it's toll but now at least he has a way to reach her if she ever wanders too far.

She breaks the phone of course.

A month later and she isn't thinking about it. She forgets and knocks it from a shelf and the damn thing breaks.

Gil cleans it up and see's her half apologetic expression. "I'll get a new one." He say's.

She smiles. "I'm sorry."

He knows she doesn't really care about the phone. She hasn't used it.

Thena was made for battle and a cell phone means very little to her but he buys her a new one anyway and set's it up for her, seeing her smile again when he puts it in her hand. She hasn't asked why he's bought it or why he bought the last one.

Maybe a part of her knows but he holds her hand for a moment just the same.

It's because he cares.

The next one breaks during a bad fit, when Mahd Wy'ry takes over her mind and the little thing falls from her pocket and slaps to earth, breaking just like the first one.

Gil buy's another and she say's she hadn't realized the second had broken.

"Well, this one is a newer model." He say's, putting it in her hand like the last one. "Maybe it will last longer."

Thena smiles and kisses his cheek, she isn't as affectionate as she once was. Mahd Wy'ry has taken that from her but every once in a while she's still the same old Thena, every once in a while she wants to spar but even that has gotten more difficult over the last few centuries.

She forgets when she spars, the madness comes to her and she suffers and for Gil it's one of the worst sights to behold.

He wishes he could take her suffering away, make it all right and good. He wishes he could build something like Phastos that could shield her form this pain and damage, that could slow her mind's descent but even Phastos doesn't have an invention like that and so instead sometimes he tells her some of Sprite's stories and things they've done in the past. Most times she say's she remembers but sometimes she admits she doesn't.

During those times he holds her hand and even if she never really cares about the phone he still buys her another when she breaks the third one.

His own is dated by then and yet he holds on to it, sentimental perhaps. . . they've never actually had to use them to call one another and so one day when he goes into town he uses his to call hers just for the heck of it.

It takes her a minute to answer and even then she sounds amused.

"Did you forget something?" She asks.

He's only gone for a few groceries.

"Ah, did we need any flour?" He asks.

He hears her hum and check. "Yes."

He can't say why but it amuses him to use the phone like this, to be able to just reach out and call her. Maybe he should get some of the others to give them their numbers. That would have been interesting, maybe even fun.

"I'll make sure to get it."

He hears her laugh softly. "Don't forget."

He doesn't and he never really did.

"I won't." He promises and he doesn't.

Thena never really cares about the phones. At one point he buys her one that can take pictures, descent pictures even and she's amused by it for a while, she sends him pictures when she goes for walks. Little things that she see's out, lizards and clouds and rocks.

He saves them to his own phone.

Snap shots of Thena's view.

He treasures them as he treasures her and when that phone breaks also he buys her another then as well.

He does get Sersi's number and they send her a selfie one day, the two of them in their home smiling at the camera, Thena has her chin jutted out proudly and Gil saves that picture as well.

No, even if Thena doesn't really care about the bit of plastic and metal he plans to keep buying her phones because it's worth it for the peace of mind and he likes being able to reach out to her. Maybe if she has one she'll be able to reach out when she needs to one day and he'll be able to pick up.

Maybe it'll help and if not, what's the worst it could cause?

He loves her and he wants to be there for her in any way he can.

#eternals #thena #gilgamesh #thenamesh #marvel #immortals #fanfiction #fanfic #one shot #cute #romance #fluff #fluff and angst #cell phones #love #domestic fluff

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ruvviks · 7 months

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hewwo :3 👻👊🍰🌙🕷️🎭🔪 for vitali my beloved <3

oc asks!

👻 GHOST - do they believe in ghosts? what are their "ghostly experiences", if any?

vitali doesn't necessarily believe in ghosts, but he does believe in hauntings. he's been haunted himself for years- his family following him every he goes, judging his every move and he keeps finding himself looking over his shoulder as if trying to check for approval from people who are no longer in his life. obviously now after the broker fic that's going to change drastically but especially in his college years and his time at arasaka he could feel the presence of his parents despite not having talked to them since age 18

👊 PUNCH - are they quick to violence?

vitali used to be very quick to throw a punch at someone who's being rude to him or his loved ones but nowadays he's a lot more composed and reserved which is significantly scarier if you'd ask me. he has this aura of danger around him and the bruises covering his knuckles tell their own story to the point if you do manage to get on his bad side it's not a matter of if, but when

then again getting on his bad side is not easy so if you do end up there somehow you must've done something very bad. he mostly tries to resolve things by talking it out but especially if the other party won't listen to reason he won't shy away from getting into a fight- and he WILL kick your fucking ass to hell and back

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

vitali is a sucker for red velvet cake first and foremost but he also likes cheesecake a lot! second one is mainly because of vincent, he'd never tried it before and now he loves it so much. he will generally eat any kind of cake though because he doesn't have it all that often in the first place, so it's a special treat every time :)

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

vitali's greatest wish is to become more than what people expect from him because of his family. he was always expected to follow into their footsteps and become a high-ranked arasaka executive, then get a white picket fence family (mainly his mother's wish; she always wanted to fit in with the americans) and just continue the bloodline like that but none of that is what he wants. he wants to prove to others but mostly himself that he is his own person and everything he has nowadays is because of his own hard work, and not because he was born into the life

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

vitali's biggest fear is losing control. ever since arasaka toyed with his brain in the test runs of the apex program's predecessor, he hasn't felt like he could fully trust himself anymore with the continuous blackouts. all remnants from the brainwashing and completely harmless, simply just dissociative episodes by then, but he worries it will cause him to turn into that killing machine they tried to make of him further down the road and he doesn't want that to happen at all

other than that he's also a little bit claustrophobic, not necessarily in the way that he can't get into an elevator with other people but more of like, being scared of physically getting stuck in a very narrow space. he wouldn't like the narrow caves in minecraft. just like me fr

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

vitali is very professional around clients and mercs, especially new ones or ones he doesn't like very much. it's a polite act but also a bit distant, and it's very easy to tell that he's keeping you at an arm's length distance. he's a lot more comfortable around familiar faces and is visibly more relaxed around them, and he will show a lot more signs of who he is in normal life; gesturing more, allowing himself to be turned away from people while talking to them, actually existing in a space instead of just using it as decor if that makes sense

around friends he's very affectionate which is a completely different side of vitali that only those closest to him get to see up close. he likes giving hugs and just being physically close with others because it gives him comfort, and with that it's very easy to feel that same comfort around him as well

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

vitali is very easy to blame himself for things that were entirely out of his control but he tries to keep this mostly to himself, not wanting to bother others with it or getting to hear the same old "it wasn't your fault" speech for the 5476353458th time. he mostly just tries to focus on making sure they're alright, tending to their wounds, comforting them, doing what they want him to do about it- if that's revenge, he'll get revenge, if that's leave it alone, he'll leave it alone

#asks #hibernationsuit #ask:vitali #oc asks #squeaky toy. to me. he is sooooo ouuouuououogfdhbhgfdbhgdfhbgdf #thank you so much for these =^) <3 the first question is still making me insane. i'm normal about this man

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quarktrinity · 6 months

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quark watches star trek season 2 episode 13

kirk slaps space rock

reusing those fog machines from a few episodes ago i see

obviously reversed footage of fog spilling out to make it look like its going back in

kirk has a trauma trigger in the smell of space honey

kirk says gaseous clouds are evil and should be killed

oh god all these guys are wearing red shirts and theres an evil cloud out and about. get out of there guys

evil space cloud using its glitter powers

nooooooo not the red shiiiiirrrrts noooooooooo

"something that cant possibly exist, but it does" thats the plot of like every episode dude. dont you watch your own show

shatner? i hardly know er!

just thought of that joke. im a genius

this episode is called "obsession". im so excited

space cloud vampire

i should add a square on the bingo card called "were going to be late to our space obligation because we have to resolve this plot first"

kirk has space ptsd

another lovecraftian episode

so the titular obsession is kirks. got it

new security officer. is he evil

kirk is so short

lets kill space gas dracula

SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA

nooooooooooo not the red shiiiiiiiirrrrrrts nooooooooooooo

so crazy how they died. cant believe it. on this show? unprecedented

kirk has a vaguely homoerotic determination to kill space gas dracula

kirk says your reflexes suck youre fired

new security officer is very embarrassed and sad

kirk you need a xanax

"i need your advice" "then i need a drink" make out

so space gas dracula is kirks traumatic backstory. i already knew that but thanks spock

new security officers dad was murdered by space gas dracula. i love drama

kirk? having guilt? crazy

ohhhh this is so good, kirks projecting his own guilt onto the new security officer. i love when kirk has something psychological going on

mccoys gonna diagnose kirk with ptsd. im so excited

kirk shut up and let your bfs give u therapy

lets kill space gas dracula... 2!

so why is warp 8 dangerous. im not sure

SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA

kirk has to Let Go

this episode is awesome

"your self pity is a terrible first course. why dont you try the soup instead?"

"this is [mccoys] officially logged prescription for you. it has one word on it: eat." i love this show

oh my god she was bullshitting him to get him to eat. this show is so good.

new security officer in a fit of anger throws his dish

wow so weird how conventional weapons dont work on the evil space cloud

is this supposed to be moby dick

SPACE GAS DRACULA HAS ENTERED THE SHIP

spock says your guilt is irrational, get therapy

SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA

is spock immune to space gas dracula

obviously reversed footage... 2!

spocks Fine

space gas dracula thinks spocks blood is gross

i love kirk so much

kirk gives himself therapy through the power of projection. hold a mirror in front of someone elses face and tell them theyre beautiful

this is like if moby dick and dracula had a beautiful love child and left it in the care of hp lovecraft and then drained the racism out of it

oh so NOW this show knows how antimatter works

kirk once again keeps spock safe

the writers are once again terrified of nuclear bombs

SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA SPACE GAS DRACULA

kirks uses himself as bait, new security guy gets in a physical fight with him about it

oh hes not? ok

oh he is hes just gonna make it out in time alright

BOOM GET EXPLODED IDIOT

were losing the security guy arent we

nope hes fine

spock says who needs god when you have me

kirk solves this dudes daddy issues

yaaayyyyyyyyyy

that episode was great

#quark watches star trek #star trek #star trek tos

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capinejghafa · 1 year

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Hey, I thought I'd add into the people telling you that you're completely right and you should say it about Inej/Kanej. This season gives the air of Kaz doing everything she's asking of him and her running away and acting like it's not on her own inability to deal with her trauma. Inej Fails Kaz at every turn this season when it comes to emotions. He lashes out after the Pekka thing because he was Worried, he specifically asked her there for Comfort and she didn’t show, he's rawest he's been since his brother died and irrational, and she just doesn't bother to fight back. She just tells him to eff off and leaves. Nina and Jesper tell her she's being just as dumb as he is and she decides Again, not to bother. Kaz does open up to her about his hallucination, a highly vulnerable thing for him to do, and she decides it's a great time to throw his words back in his face. And then adding the armor scene just comes off like, despite his trying, he will never be enough. Even in the book, though her reasoning is vaguely better, it still comes off as her saying, "your disability makes you not enough for me" and I don't know how I feel about that.

Hi! this is going to be a little bit of a tangent lol

I think it's very interesting the way book!Kanej is different from show!Kanej. Even as individual characters, they are altered to fit the show verse. Book!Kaz is very much closed off than he's show's counterpart... partly because in the book, he's a teen, and in the show, he's an adult. He's driven by revenge for sure, but he's also capable of more complex emotions because he's had to grow up alone in his environment. In the show, we don't know when he meets Jesper or Inej, but we know he's lonely. In the books, he meets them a few years after becoming part of the Dregs. Sure, book!Kaz didn't have friends, but he wasn't exactly alone alone (or not completely!).

Also, book!Kaz is actually bad at feelings because Leigh wrote him that way lol... a lot of his inner monologues are great to get the audience to be sympathetic with him, but he doesn't say what he means out loud... kind of. Like he tried to Inej how he feels before deciding to stay silent ("I will die unafraid..") And I think that's where the show had to find ways to get those thoughts into action. It's why we have Kaz be more open. In the books, it was fine... but it wouldn't have translated well for a general audience, you know?

I bring this up to say, show!Inej seems to have the problems that book!Kaz. Her problems are very internal. She's very much willing to say the problems she has with Kaz's plan or make comments regarding the crows' safety, but Inej struggles a lot with romantic feelings. It's not something that comes naturally to her. She didn't have it before the Menagerie (presumably not), and she's barely experiencing it now. With Jesper and Nina... and even Wy to that extent she doesn't have to worry about that. Hell, I'd even add Alina and Zoya to the mix. She doesn't have to double guess her choices, and they can just be her family (with Jesper) and her friends (Nina, Wy, Zoya), or her Saint (Alina). But with Kaz, she does. It's not that Inej is incapable of saying how she feels lol It's just that she is not comfortable if it's romantic.

So, it makes her actions regarding Kaz seem like a fail. It sort of feels like she's self sabotaging. Like come on, Inej you can't be upset at Kaz for being mad because you said you'd help take down his brother's "murder" and then walk in like nothing happen after you said you'd help destroy him... all awhile he's probably like idk if you're safe.

Or at least, if not self sabotaging, then something like kind of expecting him to forgive her because that's what the Crows do. Especially after he told her, "No Saint ever watched over me. Not like you have."

I don't think in the books it was necessarily supposed to be seen that way. I just think Inej is slightly more honest about her feelings there and unlike her show counterpart, Inej's biggest weakness was the company she keeps, the people she loves. So rather than have only parts of Kaz... I'm thinking more of his heart than physical. Or at least work towards that. I say slightly because there's a moment where Kaz said the famous "If I couldn't walk, I'd crawl you..." and Inej's face is very skeptical. Which makes sense because in her head she was fairly certain that Kaz wouldn't come for her, but I disgress.

tl;dr inej and kaz have to be accountable for their action, and idk talk to each other.

#anon #reply #kanej #kaz x inej #otp: if i couldn't walk i'd crawl to you #the crow #shadow and bone #sab spoilers #tbh you probably didn't ask for this adsdasd #i just have some lingering feelings about kanej and feelings #also i love that im like let inej be bad at feelings while also being like book!inej wasn't a completely unaware of them lol

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kaleb-is-definitely-sane · 1 year

Text

An Open Letter

This is an open letter to all the bigoted, arrogant, anti-charismatic national embarrassments known as trolls, anons, biscuits, mothertruckers etc. You are absolutely irrational!!! Take the anons that harassed @ell0ra-br3kk3r: claiming she’s a “pick me bitch”. First off: bitch please! She’s authentic. Thats what and thats all she is. And you would know that if you ever took time to get to know her. Your screaming and going crazy and throwing a fit cause she’s an amzing person which you know! And i know you know! And your jealous and we all know that!!! She’s real, unlike you who was so cowardly that to say something mean you had to go anon. Ellie meanwhile would never do that already proving she’s ten times better than you. She’s real, she’s nice her aesthetic deserves nothing but love. Your a coward and your entire vibe is bitchy. You are in serious need of Jesus.

You tell me wonderful girl that you “sure hope you don't think any of your "friends" actually care about you. like how could they?” and yet look how many of us have come to her defense. RUSHED to her defense. And how could we not care about her. She’s honest and kind and funny and loyal and friendly and loving and positive and brave and smart and chill and patient and just all around amazing. And yeah anon i believe she is just that positive because people like that exist. And there is nothing wrong with putting positivity into the world rather than negativity. Like lets just assume for a split second that she’s feeling negative. Well, unlike you, she doesn’t have to post it!!! When you feel negative you don’t have to say something. I mean look how she responded to your cruel comments. She posted them and said nothing. She just turned off anons. Like… who the heck does that!!! Who gets hate and then just says, “so yeah ima just turn off anonymous fan mail for a while.” Like thats part of why we love her. She radiates positivity in everything she does. Always. And i can only hope you’d learn from that. Not everyone is hiding something. And if a person chooses not to release negative energy into the world thats not hiding thats protecting. It’s protecting themselves and other people from being forced to endure the same pain. She’s true and authentic. And anyone who’s says otherwise is a liar.

“everyone has this deep desire to off themselves sometimes, and only a few really should. you should be lucky you're one of those people.” Now you’ve crossed the literal line buddy! It is one thing to lie and say she’s bitchy. It’s another to say her friends don’t like her or that she’s not really positive. It is ANOTHER ENTIRELY to suggest she should kill herself!! The actual #3// is wrong with you??!! Give my regards to Satan when you go back to hell where you came from! You can go on and on about her apparent lack of moral compass — at leads she maintains hope in all this rumpus! I repeat you have crossed the line!! If you don’t like someone’s content don’t look! And if it’s repeatedly on your suggestions dash just block 🙄.

Let me ask you a question: who do you think you are? Did you think about the potential consequences of your actions? Did you now calculate how this could potentially end in catastrophe? Your a bitch. You really are and I don’t swear so listen closely when i say you are a stupid motherfurcking bitch in need of prayer (you’ll certainly be in mine) and therapy (i hear better-help is amazing). @ell0ra-br3kk3r is amazing. And if you don’t like her so what! You don’t deserve her. She deserves the world and nothing less. You deserve to be in jail because cyber bullying (especially against a minor!) is illegal. Your not even clever or original. Everything you said was simply embarrassing. Don’t be evil but if your gonna be hateful at the very least be clever about it! But alas… you were just irritating. Your a nuisance with no apparent sense and all your claims are irrelevant. You can call me the devil or say i lack moral compass and you can spread lies about ellie or anyone else on tumblr but we know the truth: you aspire to be like us. You aspire to be like Ellora. And that’s not a bad thing. Agian: she’s wonderful. But if your aspiration and your admiration are corrupted into jealousy and envy well now you’ve just become spiteful and malevolence.

— Sincerely,

Kaleb 😘

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fangaminghell · 2 years

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💥🎂🍰🌋🕷️🙈🌏🎵👑💧☁️☄️💚 for any of your Rebornverse OCs.

Sorry if it's too much. I love hearing about your OCs :D

Nah I don't mind! I feel like I don't talk about Asra or Cande much. For granted, those two are very underdeveloped other than certain traits. But I'll try and include them in this round! I'll probably just talk about whoever seems to fit the question more too.

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

I know that Asra and Imani have trouble dealing with their anger. Mainly because they don't allow themselves to. They don't like the feeling. Asra fears the person they can become if they let their anger consume them. Imani just feel like anger is too negative of an emotion to harbor. Eventually they start to express their anger more, in healthier ways too of course.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

I have not thought about specific dates for anyone's birthdays yet. But for the latter half of the question, Blair doesn't like celebrating xyr birthday. Xe remember what birthdays were like for xem before the Team Meteor attack, how happy it was with xyr family. Now xe are alone, filled with bittersweet memories. ( I can imagine, eventually, xe start celebrating it again with Leo and Suraya :) )

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

Answering with the sweet tooths for this one :3

Imani loves any type of cake really. As long as it's good, she'll eat it! Red Velvet is her favorite.

Asra loves cake with tea. They generally save cakes for special occasions or when they want to really reward themselves. Chocolate and Black Forest Gateau are personal favorites.

🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

Of all my ocs, I feel like Blair had the worst temper. It's a slow boil, but when xe are pissed, it's something to genuinely fear. I think behind xem is Asra and Imani for similar reasons, though unlike those two, Blair doesn't like getting angry because they fear something about xemselves. They hate getting angry cause it shows what whatever made xem angry got to them. That xe can be seen through. And that's the last thing xe want.

Suraya doesn't get angry often,but when she does, much like those above, it's something to fear. Her sisterly rage is very powerful.

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

Another one that I need to think about more. Depending on what I learn about the doctor and the orphanage in Reborn, potential fears I can see xem having: Needles, the dark( ironic), being locked in somewhere in a very small space, loud blarring noises ( not related to the orphanages) maybe Garchomp depending on how the team meteor attack goes.

Maybe Suraya has a fear of bug types. It's nothing super big, she can tolerate them, but she can't stand next to one for so long.

Imani constantly fears losing who she is, not being Imani. She's reassured a lot, but the thought lingers.

There's probably more but I don't want this section to get too long lol.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

A lot of them don't want to be seen as too vulnerable,all for different reasons. Blair's coldness is a defense mechanism, so if xe shoe any vulnerability, it means xe'll get hurt. They tend to snap more often when xe are seen crying.

Imani doesn't want people to see her super low. She wants to be everyone's light, their cheerleader. She can't be that if they see her down too.

🌏 EARTH - will they give up the world for someone they love? is this decision easy for them?

GOD.

Okay, off the bat, this type of decision is so hard for all of them.

Arrow Imani and Blair all lost their parents, and while Imani still has Nancy but in a different way, the other two don't. Though I think they would give up the world for them. Imani and Arrow cares too much. Blair is just finding a new family, why throw it away?

Now. In terms of shipping. Imani is madly in love with Aelita and Ren. Arrow is madly in love with Ryland( despite the hiccups they had prior). So while they would want to do so,give up the world to them, they know that they can't. It's not what their loved ones would have wanted.

🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

I don't have much at the moment! The only ones I got are RÄT for Flynn and Enemy for Blair.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

Leo wants to be remembered as someone who was actually good at something. Someone who was kind and courageous. Mainly because his past actions had left him with an immense amount of guilt. He wants to do good by the world.

Flynn doesn't know what she wants to be remembered for, but she still wants to be remembered. She spent most of her life in the background. Sure, she has "friends", but she was very quiet and kept to herself. She's still that, but now she wants to make some impact, make new friends.

Cande wants to be remembered as a helpful guy! I always see him as the type of dude who just casually helps people out. Your friendly neighborhood tall person lol.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

( CW: Implied depression)

Leo sometimes has very bad days. So bad that it's hard for him to get out of bed. He tends to over think a lot these days, about how people see him and how he could be doing more.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

Leo is a surprising cuddlebug. Honestly pretty clingy once he gets comfortable. It's very adorable, especially to his future partner lol.

Blair has a soft spot for kids. Xe don't believe xe are good at taking care of one, but seeing little kids be happy does make xem happy.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

Take on look at Blair and most people think xyr an asshole. And to an extent xe are. It's complicated.

Most people look at Arrow and assume they are very edgy and no nonsense, when they are really chill and sweet.

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

Imani loves hugs and food lol. They do make her feel very comforted. When she starts officially dating Ren and Aelita, kisses slowly start to be a main source of comfort too!

Leo would melt if he gets kissed lol. He loves hugs , too, but is often too shy to ask for them when he wants them.

#i am faaaar to lazy to tag everyone #i hope you like the answers #pokemon rejuvenation #pokemon reborn #pokemon desolation

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tartrazeen · 2 years

Text

Tartra's Head Canon (HC) for Why Nick Missed the Evac + Why Nick Got the Witch in Tartra's Other HC (Part 1)

Here's my disclaimer right at the start:

I hate when other people do this.

Angst is fine, drama is fine, but 99% of the time, I don't like people defaulting to this kind of extreme over and over again. It's cliché in an unfun way, and as much as I love saddling Nick with as much baggage as I can fit onto him (and then I build a little bridge for him to get over it and then I pile more baggage onto that bridge lol get wreckt), I never wanted to be the person that was like, "uwu this is sad, i'll toss this in for quick sad-points lol what canon."

So I understand if everyone's first reaction is, "Tartra, that's stupid. He would've said something during the game. You don't just casually put things like that in there. That's dark."

To which I say, "i know i know but hear me out - what if he does kinda allude to it in a way that is fake 'cause i just made it up for him, and we really lean into the part where he's the only character to be like 'I am intentionally not telling you a goddamn thing about me beyond my first name. Not for the sake of time or simplicity, but because eat my butt.' does that work for you?"

If it does, awesome - let's sad-party with Nick with a bit of a descriptive fic, and Part 2 will be here for where I get into some Nellis-related commentary.

If it doesn't, then no harm, no foul, and please note that I'm very much overhyping the whole thing anyway (probably) because uwu it's my HC and I want people to give me an A+ please if I'm gonna throw it onto the internet. Like Nick and the Hindenburg, my ego is a giant balloon that could burst into flames at the faintest whiff of, "This isn't my thing but you seem to like it so I hope it makes you happy <3" I need you on board or I can't have you on my theory-blimp.

If you're genuinely like, "Is it really so bad that you need all of this preamble in front of it?"

Well - valid point! Totally valid. I don't know everyone's limits, so I'm just trying to be a careful neighbour for you folks. It might turn out to be a done-to-death idea - who knows? I'll leave it up to everyone to judge.

But anyway tw: kid death

SETTING THE STAGE

From my last HC about which survivors got what Special Infected mutation, I said Nick was a Witch.

Let's put aside all the wonderfully self-indulgent magical zombie powers that that gives him and focus on the sad, angsty parts:

Special Infected get that mutation by being infected with the Green Flu and having the right kind of physiological conditions for it to change into that

The 'right conditions' for a Witch is - as I called it - the shock of grief

I didn't describe it very well because I wanted it to work as a little teaser for this, but essentially, it's that stomach-dropping, paralyzed-in-your-own-body fugue state a person can have after getting some disastrously terrible news.

Let me compare that against someone like Zoey: in the comics, she has the almost objectively most depressing backstory in the squad. Her mother turns and kills her father, and then she has to finish her father off.

I do not count that as the same reaction as this. What I counted it as was 'nausea' (I kept it simple; it's obviously more than that) so I could assign her the Spitter, because she grits her teeth and pulls the trigger. No fugue state.

However!

Later in the comics, Zoey finds out from a scientist that if she was immune or asymptomatic, she got that from her father (i.e. her father wouldn't have turned). She immediately reacts to that in what I would consider the shock-of-grief reaction I'm describing here: horror, guilt, extreme regret, and betrayal - by herself, maybe, by the world, by the zombies, I don't know. A lot of irrational and uncontrollable feelings rising up all at once to knock her down in that moment.

If that had been her 'point of infection' that I talked about it my last HC, then she would've been a Witch too. It didn't work out that way but it's what I'm going for here with Nick.

WHY NICK WAS IN GEORGIA

Canonically, he was dickin' around. He's there to gamble and incidentally gets trapped right as the zombies hit. So here are the key canon points I'm sticking with:

Nick is not from Georgia

Nick doesn't say where he's from

Nick moves around a lot

What it doesn't say is "Nick has no home anywhere." AND BOY OH BOY, that's a treat for me.

Without drowning you in even more HCs, the short version is that he's in Georgia for work (the HCs get into what constitutes work but we don't need that right now ok it's crime stuff it's fine). He has to travel to various places for work so that's not unusual, and there are enough breaks in the work itself that he's got a lot of time to sit around.

That's it. You're all caught up with what you need to know there. :)

THE KID THING

hahahaha ok let's do this

Nick, like I said, doesn't talk. If he's got some sketchy stuff happening, I get why he'd be a private person. If it's organized and sketchy, I can see why he'd be on guard against anyone wanting to know about him. Tons of room for revenge in that line of work.

If it's organized, sketchy, and part of the 'family business' (ok now ur caught up), then I vividly see him refusing to give his potentially recognizable surname (but why give his real first name? he's sad and distracted, moving on), as well as having been raised in an environment where if you're not in the family, you don't get know anything about the family. It's a standard precaution to keep people from extrapolating way too much information from seemingly innocuous details (e.g. why military family aren't supposed to talk about buying summer clothes or something in case the 'enemy' pieces together that a big operation is coming up that requires these families to move overseas).

So Nick, out of habit, doesn't ever stumble across the topic of kids.

There aren't any kids here, anyway. And with a deflective answer like, "Oh, I just go from place to place," there's no reason to think he'd be settled down enough somewhere to raise anybody. Also, Nick is an asshole, and although he has a kick-ass number of Tired Dad lines (shoutout to "Ellis, why don't you tell us about this on the helicopter?"), he has ten times as many "Nobody can take a joke anymore >:(" ones. He's impatient, he's mean, he snaps at everybody, and that's nowhere near the attitude you'd expect from a Good Dad.

To be clear: Nick is sad. He is going through some shit. But even if I give him a pass on that for lines like, "That's great, sweetie - is there a man up there we can talk to," I am not gonna go 'uwu he's actually very nice when there aren't zombies' when there are casual banter lines for him like, "Rochelle, do you want me to tattoo your boyfriend's name on your arm? I'll just write 'Greasy Pig', we all know who we're talking about." Excellent we're-gonna-be-like-brother-and-sister-but-also-if-you're-ever-dtf-let-me-know energy, but more than that, pure and simple oh-so-you're-just-normally-like-this-huh.

But, but, but.

I HC that he's actually a great dad, and given that his definition of banter is, "No, see, I'm being an asshole with you," I think the only piece that'd still need to fall into place is that his kids are kind of assholes too. In a cute way, like how we all think Nick's pretend-assholery is cute. Like - I'm 90% sure he'd have some strict "We don't say things like that" lines when his kids are being rude, but it's just that his definition is so mixed with, ":3 i mean i thought i was funny" that those lines are in completely different places than they should be. (But then you remember that it's Nick and you're like "oh! got it.")

I have other HCs for the kids but they're disgustingly sweet and domestic. You don't need them. And to show you how flexible I am with tossing ideas around on the specifics, I have separate head canons for when it's an older kid and a younger kid, when they're twins, and when they're triplets (lmaooooo three mini-nicks). These are the only consistent facts you're gonna need to know:

They live with him

When he's travelling, someone else in the family stays over

They know to call him when they have a problem, because worst-case scenario, he'll call someone else to go sort it out

No big deal. This is their system and they're used to it. Cell phones exist.

For maximum angst, I'm gonna go through the version with the older kid and the younger kid. They're both boys, one's 11 and one's 6, and they're way more interested in chirping their dad over having to go to Georgia (derogatory) than they are about the stuff around the Green Flu. After all, dad hates germs. If it was anything serious, he wouldn't go, so that means everything is fine.

Which I think is Good Dad behaviour! Just because you're abandoning your kids right before the apocalypse starts, it doesn't mean you have to get them worried or anything. Nick's keeping an ear out for the news back home. He checks in, shares the new bullshit about this state, makes sure they're not stressed, gives a pop quiz on what to do in an emergency, and reminds them that all they have to do is call if they need him but he'll be home in like a week or whatever. They have a few nights like that. Simple.

MOM

It's maybe night three when the 11-year-old mentions that kids at school said other states are evacuating.

Which is true. This really did start taking a turn - but it's like wildfires. The country's big. Just because one corner of it's burning, it doesn't mean the whole place is gonna go up.

"But yeah, people are stupid, so flying back's gonna be hell. I'll try to catch something earlier so I beat the rush," Nick says, being a Good Dad. "You freaking out?"

No, of course not. This is Nick's kid and he's totally cool with it. People are stupid, so even if nothing's going on, it just makes sense to come back earlier so it doesn't turn into a whole thing. There's nothing to freak out about.

"Your wife is, though," the 11-year-old casually explains. "She wants us to go to her place. Y'know - in case we do have to evacuate."

Nick, very much allowing the words "Ex-wife" to cancel out with "haha fuck her she's not getting on the plane," thereby choosing to say nothing towards correcting this child either way, simply replies with, "Oh?"

"She keeps calling and asking. Do we go?"

Nick, being a very Good Dad, says, "I mean, it's up to you. You two are the ones that'll have to stay with her."

"Her apartment's small."

"HAHAHAHA IT IS! IT'S SO SMALL," Nick doesn't say. He goes with, "Yeah, but you're not going to be there for long. Just until I get you."

"So you do want us to go."

Fuck. He hates this kid.

He loves this kid but he hates this kid, and he's not going to let a child twist his words around like this is amateur hour.

"Well, kiddo, if you're calling me to ask about it," he says, twisting it right the hell back, "then I want you to do whatever makes you comfortable. She can pick you up or you can stay. It's your choice."

"... She's going to keep bothering us until we do it."

"Okay. Then it sounds the same thing that I'm dealing with for flights. If it keeps her quiet, just head over there and let me know when you get in."

Deal. The family-approved version of 'Hey Dad, shit's getting scary and I'm kinda scared, what do we do' and 'oh fuck that's bad, go to your mom's place and use her body as a shield lol' concludes with everyone staying deliberately calm.

EVAC DAY

Nick's not scared, but he isn't exactly relaxed.

Normally he'd never touch the word 'scared' to test out where he is, but this is a special occasion. His morning after a last, decently fun night before he flew home early got interrupted by a change of plans: the evacs had started.

It wasn't everywhere yet. Some states were hit hard, but some were only being cleared as a buffer between them and the places that were still safe. That'd make getting back interesting, but as he managed to explain to his kids (thank Christ the little one got his early-bird gene), the only one who had to scramble right now was him. Georgia had hit the fan. He was calling to let them know he'd be heading to one of the evac sites, but in short, they might not hear from him for a while. Don't panic. Everyone was on the phone with everybody - he was lucky to get through at all.

Don't call him unless someone was dead or dying or if orders came for them to move, too.

He's fine.

He's going to be fine.

The bigger evac sites are the ones he expressly avoids. They're too central and easy for every local yokel to get to. He's not planning on dying anytime soon, but especially not because a crowd of them found out that Mee-maw didn't count as carry-on. So he picks one of the smaller evac sites. Those might leave later, but the evac crew would already need to be there to set up. Since a schedule would go out the window if something started getting worse, it put him first in a very short line with ample time to spare.

Theoretically.

Because in reality, good God, the place became the designated hot spot for Cletus and Company to bitch about fascist government intervention. Everyone and their tractor had crowded the lobby to scream at the front desk. By the time he noticed his phone going off in his pocket, he was twelve hillbillies deep, and had to fight through another wall of fourteen before he reached one of the conference rooms off to the side.

Not that he wasn't grateful for the reprieve, but he'd expressly told them not to call unless it was an emergency. Someone had better be dead or dying right now. The thought of having to track them down was giving him a headache.

It was the little one calling. He'd figured out that much while he was knocking his way through the crowd to get here, trying to shout over the noise to tell his son to wait a second.

He assumed it'd be easier to hear now that he was somewhere quiet. Instead, he just hears blather over the other end of the line.

"I need you to slow down," he says, juggling a lot of frustrations and Good Dad techniques. "Take a breath, focus on the biggest thing, and start from there."

The 6-year-old takes a breath, then goes right back into blather. The spike of annoyance Nick gets is tempered by the thought that maybe there's some new report, and gets uncoiled entirely when he remembers the 6-year-old's probably scared too.

It's not until he settles in at the conference table that an awkward pit builds in his stomach. If this was really the 6-year-old being scared, he figured the older one would be calling him demanding that he deal with it. That was how it worked: the 6-year-old liked answering the phone, but the 11-year-old was his 'Let's just call dad to figure it out' kid.

Blather, hiccups, crying - before he went any further, he paused and listened for more details. He did it for a living, so he might as well reap the benefits of it for himself.

The 6-year-old was slowing down, which was excellent. Slowing down meant shock and panic, not immediate danger. Something had happened, but the kid was just trying to wrap his head around putting it into words.

Weirdly quiet.

Not whispering - which was excellent for the same reasons - but notably hushed.

Nick's on the verge of piecing that together when the 6-year-old hiccups something about someone being dead.

Okay. Progress. Definitely validated the choice to call, but he's -

"... Okay." The 11-year-old. According to the 6-year-old, at least. Which - was odd, basically, because he was calling from inside - a bed, that's what it was. The 6-year-old sounded like he was under a bed. Stomach down probably, which would make him sound a little quieter, and being in a smaller space would dampen the acoustics and all of that. "So what do you mean 'he's dead'? What does 'dead' mean - 'hurt'?"

The 6-year-old very helpfully said he doesn't know.

"Well - did you see him? Hear him? I'm not there," Nick says. "If you ran, that's okay, but I need more than that."

The 11-year-old jumped out the window. From the fourth floor. Apparently.

"Where's your mom?" He's trying not to be mad. His voice is steady, but he knows this isn't a prank. Something has happened, and it's pretty bullshit that this is his source of information. "Is she inside?"

Yes, their mom was inside.

"Is she okay?"

She was crying. Of course.

"Great - that's as close to okay as she gets. I need you to put her on the phone."

The 6-year-old was scared. And hiccupping. And the only responsible person over there.

"I get it, buddy," Nick has to coax. "I know it's scary. It sounds bad. But we need an adult, and right now, the only one around is your mom. So I'm going to need you to be very brave and get the phone to her, okay?"

The kid's 6. It doesn't take much more than that to get him to agree. Nick hears the shuffling of him getting out from under the bed, opening the door, and heading over to what's probably the kitchen. It's a little more echo-y.

"Listen," Nick says when the kid stops and decides he doesn't want to do it anymore, "I'm gonna throw you the biggest party in the world when I'm back, but you've gotta make this happen first."

The 6-year-old doesn't want to. Nick's aggravation is rising.

"Is she there? Is she conscious? Is it just the two of you?"

Yesses for all of them - Nick's not sure he should've asked about that last one.

"Then you've got everything you need," he says. "Unless she's waving a knife around - is she doing that?"

No. Just crying.

"Okay." Fine. "Give her the phone."

"But -"

"I'm not asking. I'm telling you." Good Dad out. Tired Dad in. Something was wrong and he would very much like to get an answer now, please. "I'm not telling you again."

So the 6-year-old goes to give his mom the phone.

It's not that it happens fast. It's just that compared to how long Nick sits listening to the screams, the amount of time he listens to everything else is a lot longer. The crying, for one, takes its own eternity. It's loud. It's odd. He hasn't heard it before.

He assumes the silence from after his phone - or the phone at home, he's not sure which - has finally died takes the longest. He's not completely sure when that starts.

But he knows when it ends.

It ends because of the yelling outside, which just came out of fucking nowhere and very violently pissed him the fuck off.

Nick gets to the door and rips it open -

"Thank God," some girl says. "Someone else. Was there an evac here?"

The lobby's empty.

"Yeah. On the roof," Nick can hear himself say.

The lobby wasn't empty a second ago.

"We didn't miss it," the only hick left in sight chimes in, delighted. "C'mon - I told you we didn't miss it!"

"Son, we're not up there yet," the last one says. "There a reason you're not?"

... Oh! Him -

"Took the scenic route," Nick tells the guy. Black dude. Big, but already out of breath. "See you up there." Maybe. "Move."

The kid in his way jumps out of it - but then all three of them are immediately on his ass as he goes for the stairs.

He doesn't hate the cardio. At least it gives him something to focus on. He might get sweaty under his suit, though, and that'd be annoying.

He liked this suit.

God - there were a lot of stairs.

#l4d2 #l4d2 nick #sad times #my stuff #good job tartra

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woeiswo · 1 month

Text

I just got back from the circle k.

What the fuck is this "take care" crap for at the register nigger?

Who fucking says that? In what proper context?

I got a PERSONAL REJECTION NOTE from a "girlfriend" or crush, 30 fucking years ago with that written on it as it's closing words.

I threw it in the dumpster in a grocery bag full of snot after being taken to the hospital for suicidal behavior nigger.

What else do you need to know.

Who the fuck are you to demand of me where the fuck I vanished to before the turn of the millenia nigger? Some Crack addict that works for the coast guard on Washington Street in redondo??

I want to know why the police don't ask me questions in the department nigger. Even though you need me to justifybmy exist3nce over yourvneed for answers nigger.

Look at all this mishandled crime scene and neglected shit, because noone wanted to look into details or listen to a word from the person that was bleeding nigger.

Was that supposed to be scary? When noone hears you scream for help nigger? When the cops stand there like you're already dead and don't do shit to pursue any wrongdoing on anybodys part? That they are that naive to anything anybody else says, the family could have poisoned him, then called him irrational when the toxic effects made him freak out. And they just believe it on face value nigger? just don't listen to what this guy has to say about it huh nigger?

Do you murder a life and gut a cow and throw the devil horns in praise of satan to make me spill my guts for you nigger?

So you blew everything to shit and look at the mess you made, and now you don't want to answer for your crimes, but I have to suffer because of them. Nigger. And so now "you're the one thats making things fit" just like dirickson's band's song lyrics from before 1998. Thats a long time to say you didnt mean to cause a fight as your song also says, when the fight had not even begun yet, nigger.

when you want the chance to make things right SO YOU DON'TY LOSE FACE or go to prison for your crimes, and try to put humpty dumpy back together without answering to your crimes nigger.

You want "daddy's"glory and his deadly sin of pride and vanity. You want to go around thinking youre immune to punishment in the eyes of your victims nigger. You want to be free to abuse legal rights to privacy and boundaries while calling yourself "Gid"...

do you want credit for the Laws you break to victimize me too nigger?

Did the law agree to be dead in my life unless it's to punish me instead of somebody else nigger. Did the law agree to play dead instead of helping when I am the victim nigger?

What did you pay all of lawful society in, to make them corrupt or play ball for your side nigger. Coke? Meth? Whores? Guns?

My suffering. My injuries. I lost my mom and dad and all my friends. Everything. My house and my home, my good reputation with people while you remain unpologetic 30 years later nigger. because you wanted to play dumbinant alpha-male mafia shit with me nigger.

Who the fuck are you to need to know who they are niggger?

Who the fuck are you to try to extract information from me with no identity nigger.

You could be my piece of shit uncle trying to cover his or my family's guilt considering the obsession with loose ends nigger.

You could be my sister trying to powertrip her older sibling and abusing any priviledges with the law she has nigger.

You could be my sister's family of in-laws that married into her family tree.

You could be the cocaine or meth dealer from the local dive BAR nigger.

As if that's an uncommon occurrence nigger.

Noone does anything illegal there huh nigger. Not duis. not illegal drugs. Not prostitution. not narcotics trafficking.

And in this entire country of unacknowledged dive-bar lawlessness you need me to solve this case because you don't want to, huh nigger.

Why do you need this gossip or need to start shit to give "somebody something to talk about" nigger.

You act like I'm forced on defense and in the seat of judgement of right and wrong, 24 hours a day, and that you never are nigger.

If you were a legitimate police detective why didn't you do your fucking homework when the answers were given to you in writing 30 years ago nigger.

Who's playing self important, damage-control, cover-up detective nigger?

Who's talking shit 30 years later? The girl that rejected me, or this faggot ex-roommate that never used that phrase until she dumped me nigger. I've known him since 7th grade. And he never spoke that phrase until it was written on a rejection note handed to me.

Did the girl round up all her friends to conspire about rejectungvme nigger? The faggot ex-roomate was also roommates with a guy "tim" that knew the girl from the local bar scene.

Were either of them coached by her, on how to speak around me nigger?

It was q rejection note. Do you think I shared my "shame" with everybody? Or noone nigger.

Suddenly she turned into a thankless cunt. I never asked for shit from her. Now this cunt is trying to make me regret being "a nice person" to her nigger.

Does my sister, or my rapist faggot incest brained uncle need to know just because he watches from the outside and supposedly knows nothing nigger?

You keep me out of the loop on a lot of shit nigger. Now you wanna demand explanations when you don't like how it feels to be alienated or rejected or denied nigger?

Did the girl tell countee what to say to me nigger?

What else did she tell him? What did she say about me to stop treating me as a friend nigger.

And why did this take care phrase suddenly become popular?

It was on the rejection note written to me.

For all I know, somebody was following me and leaving bags of dogshit on your lawn to implicate me for any disrespect nigger.

What the fuck are you playing mafia princess about now nigger? 30 years later. Was I that much of an inconvenience for you, you fucking cunt? You're going around town 120 miles south and coaching people how to speak in my presence nigger. It's safe to assume you pass around photos when you lie about me and badmouth me too nigger.

Am I supposed to know what itvmeanscnigger.

You better explain yourself nigger.

Sound familiar?

The dive bar where I used to hang out with the girl, or the city jurisdiction's police department.

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lemonflowercat · 4 months

Text

Dora Milaje

currently fighting off the urge to doomscroll - which is basically a metaphoric way to escape my reality which is too much sadness for me to bear atm. failure is hitting hard, PMS misery is hitting hard. I hate that I can't stick to goals I set up for myself, I hate how I can't seem to get myself to work on things that are actually in my best interest. and things that I actually enjoy doing but somehow I can't seem to? I know how all of these things make me happy, and yet I'm always self sabotaging and it's just...so much disappointment. me, disappointing myself, week after week, getting stuck in vicious cycles I can't seem to break, constantly battling self loathing and the impending doom of failure. I just <throws hands up in the air> I can't even just sit here and scream save me - because that's victim mentality, and I'm the only one who can help myself but ok buddy but what if I can't???

-----

back after finishing The Wildlings - 'twas a decent read, a little childish. i'll give it points for creativity - it was fun to pretend like i'm inside the minds of animals, and the overall premise was simple and engaging. the characters were very lovable but also slightly trope-y: powerful young protegee with no control over her powers, all-knowing heroine who dies in battle, curious mischief-maker, motherly warrior. it was a good light read overall.

after i was done with the book friends kept me company - it turned into a surprisingly social day - and although i wasn't exactly in the mood for it, and didn't go looking for it, in the end i'm glad it happened because it kept me from losing my mind.

new day, renewed determination, and possibly new perspective?

[] morning walk/run or yoga x6/w

[] evening wxo x6/w

i have to admit, my life is kinda too busy at the moment to really fit both of these in comfortably. if i'm really being honest with myself, i've taken on two physical activities because i feel like i need to justify eating 1400 cal vs the 1200 diet i was on before. the rational part of me is aware that, most sources say that 1200 is too little to maintain sustainably and it's too restrictive to contribute to building a healthy food relationship. but the irrational side of me is so focused on "lose fat asap" that it's often fear that's driving my choice to double wxo more than anything else.

apart from that, it actually really does feel good to clock in these two sessions. i love the post-walk/yoga clarity in the morning. the few hours i have studied in the past couple of days have been in this time. and my evening workouts are strength based - which i also love doing.

the logical thing to do does seem like skipping on one of these to free up more study hours, but i - and this is the part of me that just enjoys these talking - don't want to miss out on either. so, these stay. but remember my 80% = success rule? it's the fear of gaining weight part of me that makes missing out on these wxos weigh heavy on me, even if i've achieved that 80%. that's the part of me causing me all the misery the next day - and i want to hug it and say, bruh 80% is 80% ok? we don't do special priority goals in this game. --- i should name this part of me. the fat-phobic-part, she's the one who's borne the brunt of fat girl insults, cursing her body for not looking like society tells it to, binged till her stomach could burst and then stuck her fingers down her throat to purge her "sins". she's also the one who's stood up against fat shamers, whether the subject was me or a friend. she's been through so much hurt and self-hate and neglect, and she's just doing her best to protect me from having to deal with this all over again. i'd like to hug her and name her my Dora Milaje - not because i'm a Black Panther fan, but because the name is pretty and the idea of a fearsome female protector is v cool.

[] [] [] 1 raw veggie or a fruit per meal

this truly makes me happy, and i love how it's expanding my palate. i've actually begun to look through the salad section of restaurant menu more often now - but it's a whole other story that most of our usual hangouts don't do salads. i also actively look for more produce i can eat raw. i love this goal!

the "per meal" bit is kinda restrictive though, because i can't always fish out something for every meal. I do snack on a lot of fruit, so i'm just going to make it a point to do this for 3 random meals.

[] meditate x at least 15min every day

as much as i enjoy meditating, i haven't been doing this consistently enough mostly because i don't really know when exactly in my day to fit this in? my mornings seem rushed enough with the new morning wxo, making breakfast and being in a rush to start studying. my evenings are unpredictable. afternoons are dozy - but that does seem like my best option. ig i have to decide on a fixed time for this, so...post lunch nap is what i'll go with. it might even help with the afternoon slump that makes studying so abhorrent.

[] breathwork x9min every day ok so this is not really a me thing, is what i've realised. i'm switching this one out for brushing every night because, sadly, i've fallen out of the habit of doing so.

[] 30min of reading or any form of self-expression/day it breaks my heart to score this off, but then i tell myself i'm just being a drama queen because, if i really want to, i can carve out time for this at some point. it's getting kicked off the list because i have to prioritise right at this point, and i think it would be way more beneficial for me to add a study related goal.

since i prefer not-so-rigid structures, i've been thinking - what if make my goal "study 42 hours/w"? so it's up to me how any hours i net in a day, and if i finish these 42 hours with a day to spare in a week, well, that's a well earned break! i don't know how well this will pan out because my current study-avoidance runs deeper than just lack of motivation, and yeah - let's get into that in another post.

also, the afternoon slump is seriously affecting my productivity. i just have to make peace with it, and open up more hours for myself in the evening to get work done. i'm going to push my evening wxo time to 7 pm. that's right i've said it, Dora Milaje. she's the one who pushes me to get on the mat by 4 pm because she's scared i'll miss my workout if unexpected social plans come up in the evening (the "unexpected" is so often now, that they might as well be expected).

[] progress picture/day

i want to redefine what i mean by "progress picture" - until now, it was that typical mirror selfie of my body i was going with. but i've been thinking - is that really the progress i'm tracking? photographing my body in the hopes that i'll get to watch it transition into a societally deemed "pretty" is not the progress i'm looking for. it's about all the things on my vision board - which are an encapsulation of things that make me happy, things that push me to grow and teach me, and make my life feel like a fulfilled one. so anything i photograph (like the ones i've been sharing here so far), count as progress pictures to me.

[] 2.5L of water/day

easy enough again.

[] 1400cal x6/week well this is a tricky one.

my main challenge here is how often we eat out. it's this habit we've fallen into, honestly - come evening and there's always one of us who wants to eat out. or a friend to hang out with. or an incredibly busy, tiring day that makes cooking seem impossible. i kid you not, since 2024 has started, we've eaten dinner at home a grand total of 5 times so far.

there's also - why can't i eat out and still be in my calorie budget? - and i think this comes down to feni and dessert, because our usual haunts serve pretty homely food, save one.

it does seem like i have to make some pretty conscious choices here - to skip on the feni and desserts at least. and of course, eat home cooked dinners more often. this is honestly the hardest chain to break only for the first 3 days - once i get through day 3, it does become much easier.

with my daily TDEE being in the 1800-1900 range, 1400 is a decent intake. it keeps me energetic enough and a satisfied full.

[] no media consumption (one movie/d allowed)

this is gold. 4 days into PMS and the possibilities of satisfying ways to spend my time seem endless once i've deleted options that involve gluing myself to a screen. my brain hasn't felt like a sewer in the past 4 days!

so, 75 soft revamped - we start again tomorrow. a Monday. maybe third time's the charm?

[] morning walk/run or yoga x6/w

[] meditate x at least 15min every afternoon

[] study 42h/w

[] evening wxo x6/w

[] [] [] 1 raw veggie or a fruit x3 meals

[] 1400cal x6/week

[] progress picture/day x6/w

[] 2.5L of water/day

[] brush before bed

[] no media consumption (one movie/d allowed) - for freezes and PMS days

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