Tumgik
#but she's still really helpful
not-poignant · 2 years
Note
Hi Pia. I've been searching for answers to this question and I hope you wouldn't mind if I tossed it at you too. Is it a bad idea to have two therapists? I have one now who has helped me but I feel like I need more than what she can offer. But she's still helping me which makes this a hard decision. I've raised my concern with her, and we've had a preliminary conversation about it but I'm struggle to identify what I should do next.
Hi anon,
I have two therapists, lol, and a psychiatrist, so I suppose you have your answer.
But I'd have these caveats:
1 - Make sure your therapist knows and is okay with you seeing another therapist, and vice versa. Keep everyone in the loop where possible. Any therapist who isn't comfortable with you working with two therapists who doesn't have a good reason (i.e. they think it might be too overwhelming for you) is not looking out for your best interests.
2 - Make sure you schedule sensitively. It's not healthy for most people to see two therapists once a week, or even sometimes once a fortnight. It will be important to give yourself time to 'live' between your sessions so that you can process what you're learning. Otherwise your life turns into therapy and you can actually get sicker as a result, because you never give yourself a chance to implement what you're learning. It's even more important to do this once you start seeing more than one mental healthcare provider.
As an example, I see one of my therapists every 4-6 weeks, and the other one every 3-5 weeks. My psychiatrist is in there but I only see her for about 30 minutes at a time. If you're seeing a therapist who is inflexible and only offers weekly sessions, they may not be the right fit for you if you want to go to more than one therapist.
3 - Think about whether you're actually ready to transition away from one therapist to a new one, so that there might be some overlap, but you may actually just be ready for a new therapist. If this therapist is still helping but 'not as much' - it may mean you're actually ready to move on to someone who has the skills to help you. Seeing a new therapist while seeing the old one and getting ready to let go, is different to actively working with two therapists at the same time. Most people think they need two therapists, but the reality is they're actually getting ready to transition away from one of their therapists, because they're moving on.
If you know this to be true, or realise it's true later, tell the first therapist so you can do proper wrap-up and review sessions together. :) They can be really helpful. (Also it saves money when you realise this, lol).
*
Of the above, I'd say point 2 is the most significant. Scheduling is really important once you start seeing two therapists, and they also need to respect that you're doing hard emotional work with someone else, and that sometimes you may not be able to see them as much as their more 'regular' clients do. It is my understanding - particularly in the USA - that many therapists aren't actually very flexible on scheduling, and you'll have to be insistent.
Don't let anyone guilt trip you or pressure you into two different therapy sessions with two different therapists a week (for example) because 'it's for your own good.' Unless you are in active crisis (i.e. post or pre-hospitalisation, acutely psychotic, acutely manic, acutely suicidal etc.), it will almost always make you sicker in the long-run. You can absolutely have too much of a good thing, and a stable, secure and healthy therapist (and client) will recognise that.
Most people don't need two therapists, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen in more complicated cases (and especially in cases related to minorities, many trans folk with a therapist eventually realise they need a therapist who understands about trans issues, and I realised personally I needed a second therapist who understood kink, polyamory and being queer). And in the case of 'I need a new therapist and I'm ready to let this one go, but I don't want to be without therapy until I'm established in new therapy' - having an overlap can be really helpful when you transition from one to the other.
I hope that helps!
8 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 10 months
Text
because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
48K notes · View notes
pineapple-frenzy · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
5K notes · View notes
realbeefman · 4 months
Text
it really fucks me up how often house md has this message of “the love was there. just not enough.” because of COURSE chase and cameron loved each other. of course house and cuddy were in love and foreman and thirteen were in love and wilson and sam were and cuddy and lucas and house and lydia and house and stacy and taub and rachel but. it just wasn’t enough. the love was there and it matters that it was there. but it saves no one. it fixes nothing. they still move on. they still leave. somebody is always left alone in the end. EXCEPT house wilson who broke this pattern For Yaoi rasones.
2K notes · View notes
tofixtheshadows · 2 months
Text
So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.
And I kept wondering: why?
For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.
Tumblr media
So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.
But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.
The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?
Tumblr media
That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.
Tumblr media
My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.
Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.
Milsiril the puppetmaster.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
kyo-hiki · 10 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mmmmm karlach 🥴
500 notes · View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
This was home.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
657 notes · View notes
moeblob · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
So does he, Gallagher.
#honkai star rail#hsr blade#gallagher#i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU#and then blade constantly just being blade as usual#its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but#i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary#but the amount of times blade was the recipient......#i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just#get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better#so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle#funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still#but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me#so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ?#i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway#one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys#also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out#i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool#and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher#so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought#(no i am not but we can pretend)
708 notes · View notes
anghraine · 4 months
Text
It's 11 PM, but one of my favorite little Darcy/Elizabeth moments happens while she still hates him and thinks he's a depraved monster, and I find it really entertaining.
It's during the Kent section, when Darcy calls at the parsonage and finds Elizabeth alone. During a longer, awkward conversation in which they both deeply misunderstand each other, they have this tiny interchange:
[Darcy:] “This seems a very comfortable house. Lady Catherine, I believe, did a great deal to it when Mr Collins first came to Hunsford.” “I believe she did—and I am sure she could not have bestowed her kindness on a more grateful object.” “Mr Collins appears very fortunate in his choice of a wife.” “Yes, indeed; his friends may well rejoice in his having met with one of the very few sensible women who would have accepted him, or have made him happy if they had. My friend has an excellent understanding—though I am not certain that I consider her marrying Mr Collins as the wisest thing she ever did."
So: they are in Mr Collins's house. Darcy tries to re-start the conversation with a polite nothing about the house. Elizabeth agrees about Lady Catherine's micro-managing, but can't resist the chance to make a sly jab at Mr Collins (who is not present) to Darcy (a genuine villain, as far as she believes).
Darcy's reply looks a bit like an attempt to redirect the conversation into safer waters (they can agree that Charlotte is cool!). But although his remark is only somewhat related to what Elizabeth said, I think it's a natural follow-up in his mind because he is also insulting Mr Collins, if more subtly.
He could have praised Mr Collins's judgment in choosing Charlotte or just said something nice about Charlotte; he doesn't. Instead, he suggests that Mr Collins's choice of Charlotte was a matter of good fortune—or chance, as Charlotte herself would say!—on Collins's part. Darcy and Elizabeth both know Collins is a fool and that his choice of a woman like Charlotte says nothing about his judgment, only about his good fortune. (Elizabeth has even better reason than Darcy to know how much Collins ending up with Charlotte was lucky for him, but Darcy can see it anyway.)
Darcy's phrasing gives him some plausible deniability, but I think he's generally quite careful with his wording and the implicit insult to Mr Collins is not accidental.
Elizabeth, I think, takes this exactly as intended. She's not at all confused about where this tangent came from or offended by it or anything. She readily seizes on the new line of conversation as encouragement to keep insulting Mr Collins and his appeal to women with functioning brainpower.
Elizabeth is pretty scrupulously polite in general, so I kind of love that she just starts venting about her absolute contempt for Mr Collins and the Collins/Charlotte marriage to Darcy in the middle of a tense and weird conversation in Mr Collins's house. And I love that Darcy, who is otherwise more or less dog-paddling his way through this conversation, is like "yeah, your friend seems really cool, that dumbass is lucky he accidentally chose someone with a brain."
Elizabeth: "Right? And, let me add-"
(Is it a bit of an asshole move on both their parts in the context of that scene? Yeah, I think a little. I also love it! Please trash-talk obnoxious hosts in their own parlours for the rest of your lives.)
681 notes · View notes
liauditore · 14 days
Text
Tumblr media
how many belts and buckles does she need someone save me.
336 notes · View notes
canisalbus · 26 days
Note
I imagine Vasco and Ludovica have a big painting (portrait but with two people) in Vasco's house (probably his father insisted of getting one of these, people used to do it in the old days, especially wealthy ones). While it's very serious and formal, in the way all these portraits were, it is also very intimate (at least it's implications). I imagine Machete just staring at it sometimes, feeling small while looking at the big painting. And sad, maybe jealous but I don't think he'd resent Ludovica. He, most of all, understands.
.
207 notes · View notes
bluerosefox · 1 year
Text
The (Not) Normal One...
So
I LOVE the stories where Danny is deaged and later found by one of the bats and taken in as a son or he's Bruce's bio son and is either Damian's twin or half brother or little/big brother BUT I don't see a lot of reborn/reincarnated Danny into the batfamily (I can think of two but one of them he is Dick's son?clone?somewhat clone? And the other is an amazing story where Danny is reborn as Jazz and Jason's kid and I love it to bits)
So let's change that a bit and have some fun.
Here's the idea
Danny, either from finally aging to his death (it was slow and long aging but he is still partly human too don't forget that) or dying at the hands of GIW (or by his parents if we go the Bad!Fentons route), is reborn into the batfamily.
He could either be Bruce and Selina's kid after they finally tie the knot, or be a one more attempt by Ra's or Talia to get the heir they want but is immediately found out when Tim notices certain labs active and they find baby Danny. OR Danny can be an oops baby to Bruce's one night stands OR one of the batboys baby. EITHER WAY, Danny is reborn into the family from the start.
And he has his memories. (He has little hints of his powers btw, they dont fully come in until his 14th bday)
And his new family all swear to give him a proper and happy childhood (as best as they can seeing how it's Gotham)
Only I want Danny milking being a baby then toddler/kid and later a teen for all its worth. He's going to enjoy this new life with everything he gots.
Like imagine the chaos and shenanigans he gets into as a toddler. He's the king of hide-and-seek. He uses his tears to get away from whoever annoys him. He's mastered the puppy dog look to get away with things (it holds no effect on Alfred though, man is immune to all tricks).
But then of course there's the... odd things that happen around him. Sometimes they catch him talking to no one. Sometimes they spot a ball or a toy rolling to Danny despite him not touching it. Sometimes they think they see or hear someone in the room with Danny only to go busting in to find nothing. (One time someone busted his nursery door down they heard on his baby/toddler monitor the distorted voice of a woman singing him a lullaby (it was Martha who was soothing him to sleep after a tiny nightmare, boy was Bruce not ready for one of his kids to hum the tune in the morning)).
Danny asking for an extra drink and the newspaper after Bruce is done before he runs off to one of the many sitting rooms the manor has. There he leaves the drink and the newspaper near a chair, hops into another chair nearby and chats to someone (they all think its his imaginary friend but that honestly doesn't explain why the drink seems to slowly disappear without anyone touching it. (btw its Thomas, Danny is talking to they like chatting in the morning)
OR when Danny gives hints to cases his family is working on, how he knows? No one knows. Sometimes they chalk it up to a kid randomly saying stuff or seeing it from a different simple outlook but sometimes it seems a little too on the nose and they think Danny might know about their night jobs... (He does know, but he gets some info from Lady Gotham who visits him and gives him little hints to pass onto her fav Knights)
Basically what I want is a reborn Danny trying to get a decent childhood/teenage years before his powers kick in full swing, his family trying the same but they got no idea about the powers (maybe), and ghosts like to visit Danny. The shenanigans that follow will be amazing.
1K notes · View notes
outer-andromeda · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'm supposed to be asleep but I was requested to draw Luz and I couldn't resist whoops :')))
222 notes · View notes
starflungwaddledee · 4 months
Note
so about the ship thing . . . Have you heard of a little guy called Sailor Dee? They showed up in Revenge of Meta Knight as part of Meta Knight's crew, and I think a couple other times in minigames and merch. I imagine he'd be braver than the average dee since he works for MK, so maybe they'd be able to power through the ick reaction like Bandee
hmmm... i think you might be onto something!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
might be about to give bandee a run for his money, perhaps. speaking of... here's a little bonus:
Tumblr media
310 notes · View notes
ladeldee · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
... I just think Baghera should get into a situationship with one of the bunnies.... that is all
383 notes · View notes
hylialeia · 11 months
Text
you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.
Tumblr media
827 notes · View notes