#but this hurt me a lot to make(for several reasons) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

v--143 · 2 days

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maybe a lee! minho and ler! chan (my fav pairing tbh😭) where chan is trying to find lee know’s spots like from least ticklish to most??

feel free to ignore this if it’s too complicated or u js don’t want to write it!!💖

> Doctors Appointment <

[Lee! Lee Know]

[Ler! Bangchan]

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“There’s just no way you’re touching me with that goofy outfit on” Lee Know greeted me kindly as I walked into the patient room.

“Hello Mr. Lee Minho,” I said as I looked down at my clipboard, “today I’ve c-“

“Oh stohop Hyung” Lee Know burst out laughing and threw his head back. He was sat on a patient seat, which was almost like a massage chair. Arms sitting comfortably on the arm rests, legs laid out in front of him, and his head (currently) thrown back as he laughs at my doctor’s outfit and clipboard.

“You know I have to do this for my resume! It clearly states I must give a patient some form of a checkup or look over to be considered more highly!” I said while whining. I wasn’t lying, he was the only person to trust me enough to do this. Slightly shocking, but not unexpected. I never explained what I’d be doing, only that I needed an hour, a soundproof room, and a patient to conduct a sensitivity experiment. Lee Know’s curiosity got the best of him, so he accepted my request. Now we’re here.. and he has no idea why.

“So” Lee Know said, finally stopping his laughter, “what are you even gonna do to me doctor” he chuckled, crossing his arms.

“You’ll see” I said. His face contorted a bit as he nervously smiled. I just promised him he wouldn’t get hurt and he gave me a look.

“I mean I’d hope I wouldn’t get hurt?! But what is it that you’ll actually be-”

I cut him off as I strapped one of his wrists to the armrest.

“Wha? Hyung, what are you-”

“Hand me your other arm Lino”

“No! Why!!” He yelled through nervous laughter, “if you’re not gonna hurt me there would be no reason for me to be moving a lot!”

“Wrong” I said, followed by a buzzer sound and a click of the second wrist strap into place. He immediately began struggling against them as he realized they were much stronger than he anticipated.

“Chan.”

“Mhm?” I said as I pushed a button to make the chair lay flat.

“Chan.”

“Yesss Lee Know?” He was laid flat now.

“Chan!”

“What?” I bent down to grab the two other straps for his ankles. After some struggling and complaining from him, I got them down.

“You’d think that since you offered to help me with this, you wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass to tie down!” I said.

“I didn’t know I’d be tied down asshole!” He said, struggling against the restrains.

“You didn’t ask”

“Fuck you” he whispered (lovingly).

“What was that?” I teased as I grabbed another buckle strap beside his hip to keep him from bucking too hard. He decided to be difficult and thrusted his hips in the air, not allowing me to buckle the strap. Naturally, I began to tickle his side until he dropped and I strapped him up.

“Hyuhung you’re scaring me! Why the restrains? Why so ominous!? Why- mmhmph!” His voice turned into mumbled gibberish as I shoved a little towel in there. I did it as a joke, but Lino being Lino decided to be stubborn and keep it in his mouth by biting on it every time I tried to take it out. Fine then.

I spidered my fingers up and down his torso as I watched his face contort into betrayed shock.

“Mmhmph! MhmhmhmMM!! MPHHMnm!!”

“Thought you wanted the towel in there?” I teased.

Lee Know threw his head back to the best of his ability as his stomach kept contracting to try and make the sensations stop. I eventually did as he regained his breathing.

“We’ll mark… a 7/10 for that spot” I said as I took the towel out his mouth and threw it away.

“You.. hah.. you WHAT?”

Lino’s eyes widened as he saw me holding a clipboard that showed several different body parts labeled on it. He also saw as I marked “7/10” on the “Lower Stomach” portion of the paper.

“Oh no, no no no no”

“You agreed to thiss~”

“Yohou’re joking right?” He said without being able to hide his nervous, or, excited smile? I couldn’t tell, maybe both.

“Nope. Cat is your safe word, scream it if you need me to stop, okay?” I said.

He laid there just staring at me as I hovered over his body.

“Ooookay, let’s actually get started now”

“NO! Nonohoho plehehehease!!” Lino begged as his hands turned to fists, “Why mEHE!” He giggle-screamed.

“Well.. it’s always you teasing and messing with the members, rarely the other way around. I just had to hear your tickle laugh, and you agreed to this on your own. Hah!” I laughed.

“You don’t even know if I’m t- if I’m gonna react to that like you want me to anyway” he said, red in the face.

“We’ll see.”

“Wait please please pleasepleasepleaseplease-“

“You have your safe word for a reason, you can just say it and we can stop for a bit” I said.

He paused.

“So I can just say it whenever? Whenever I want you to stop..?” Lino asked.

“Of course. Even before we start” I said. I wasn’t lying, he could say it now, but…

…

I waited.

Not one word out his mouth, only redness on his cheeks.

“…Okay” I smiled.

I walked over to his torso again and, with my tight blue doctors gloves on, began to poke and prod at his right ribcage as if I were examining it.

He began to angle his body away from my hand immediately as I got closer. Need to try out ghost tickle testing one day…

“I didn’t know there can be people born with with a different number of ribcage bones! Did you, Lee Know?” I asked.

“…hello?” I asked again. He seemed a little too busy to answer me as he had his head fully turned to his right, mouth clamped shut, and eyes held shut by sheer force.

“Okay so let’s see you have one-“

“K-kahamhmnm~”

“Stop snickering, this is science. One~” I wiggled my finger in the crevice up and down, “Two~” and again, “Thr~”

“NeahAHAHAHA” he suddenly screamed, shocking me.

“So is just the third one bad? Or all??”

“SHUHUT UP! PleheHEASE NO-“

I dug my knuckles into that third crevice and vibrated them as lightly yet teasingly as I could. Lee Know writhed on the examination table as if I was truly electrocuting him, except he wasn’t only screaming.

“AHAHAHAHAH!!” His laughter that followed his screaming never failed to make me coo at him. He never openly laughed this much, it was almost refreshing to hear, not to mention his crazy desperation to get out of the restraints (even though he knows he has a safe word…).

“You’re acting like I’m actually hurting you!!” I said.

“YAHAH YOHOU MIGHT AS WEHELL BE- AHA!!!!” I latched both hands onto one of his ribcages and squeezed up and down, causing him to angle his body completely to the opposite side. His quick realization that he literally cannot go anywhere without my help made his face contort into something like nervous childish excitement.

I decided to move on after marking ribcages a whopping 9. I couldn’t tire him out too much in one sitting, but I did have to get at least one more body part down.

“Okay.. I’ll let you pick” I said to him.

“Yhaha..” he was still out of breath. Seeing as he has his eyes shut and his chest heaving hard, yet still holds a smile… I think he’s fine.

“Awwwwweeee you’re soooo not the second oldest when you laugh”

“Whahat’s that supposed to mean!! I’m literally beheing held against my wihihihill!!!” Lino complained.

I just rolled my eyes. “You have two options. One, neck. Two, underar-“

“NECK. NECK PLEHEASE” he yelled at me in desperation. While he may keep his guard up often, it’s well known he’s way too ticklish under his arms for him to survive more than 10 seconds there.

“Hmm I guess since you want me to sooo badly” I teased as I began to walk around the chair/table he laid down on.

“This is so stupid this is soho so stupid I’m such an idiot why why why” Lino whispered (dramatically) as he shut his eyes and mouth tightly.

“Oh you’re gonna be fine calm down” I said as I got out some of those fluffy pipe cleaners from a nearby cabinet, but not before putting a blindfold over his eyes.

“Is this necessary” Lino complained.

“It says that if the patient does not see the stimulator coming, then it’ll make it more sensitive! I guess we’ll see how you react” I said.

He clamped his mouth again as it gradually grew into a smile.

I took one pipe cleaner in each hand and began to slowly trail it along the sides of his neck. He scrunched up a lot very fast, but wasn’t making any audible noise yet.

“Lots of movement… little sound… okay, how about this?”

I began to poke and graze the inside and outside of his ears with them.

“Eeaaahah!” Lino squealed high and long as I did this. His legs also began to do little kicks at the end of the chair.

“Awwww!!” It was one of the cutest things I’ve seen.

“Stohop! Eeeaahaheha!!” He couldn’t help but scrunch up even more as I began to trail my fingers too. He never got to a point of physical desperation or harsh bucking, but he did move his head violently at times because the sensations were so light. Luckily I had given him soft restraints and a comfortable chair to do this on, or else his neck would be done for.

“Ple.. plehehease.!!!” Lino begged as I tickled his nape and the spot where his neck and shoulder meet, “noahaheheAHAHA!!” The volume of his laughter raised an octave as I got faster and faster, eventually dropping to silent once the light teasing had been too much.

“Okay okay I’m done for now.”

“Geahah..~”

I began to put my things away as Lee Know stayed restrained on the chair/table, not seeming to care too much that he couldn’t move now. He stared at the ceiling with a big smile on his blushing face.

“You didn’t even use your safeword, idiot” I said (lovingly of course), “did you even remember it?!”

He smiled at me.

“Cat”

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#tword community #tword post #tword blog #sfw twords #tword skz #skz tickle #kpop tickle #stray kids #sfw tickling community #tickle scenarios #lee lee know #lee Minho #ler bangchan #tickle fluff #tickle fic #tickle community

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taylorswiftstylequestions · 1 day

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Sorry this ask turned into an essay — as I explain I have a personal connection to this topic and a lot of thoughts on it, ha

On the topic of Taylor’s discussion of Joe’s depression — I have never seen anyone claim that she has made fun of it, but I have seen some discussions from people who feel that she’s been unfair or insensitive with how she’s spoken about it, or that she broke up with him because he was “too depressed” and that she was blaming him for things he can’t control. Renegade has been used as an example of this, and more recently So Long London (specifically “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days).

I don’t want to speak for anyone but myself here or invalidate anyone’s feelings of hurt with how Taylor addresses these topics (because that is entirely fair to be hurt by if you interpret it in that way), but I will say this: as someone who has been on both sides of this equation (I have clinical depression that I’m in the process of getting medication for, and I’ve also had multiple relationships with people who were going through severe mental health struggles that I was trying to support them through), I don’t think that the way Taylor has referenced Joe’s depression affecting her in her music seems cruel to him. I’ve never gotten the impression that she is blaming him for struggling or that she expected him to just stop struggling and get better, or even that that’s the reason their relationship ended. I think there’s a lot of frustration in those songs, and while I understand why some may balk at that, it can be really frustrating at times to love someone who doesn’t love themselves, or who is pushing you away at every turn. It’s not their fault, and I don’t think Taylor is framing it as such, but that can make it even more frustrating when it feels like things are breaking down and there is nothing you can do to fix it.

And I feel like it’s kind of taboo to talk about those feelings because (in my experience at least) they’re wrapped up in so much guilt? I was in a relationship very similar to the one described in Renegade once, and I would get into this cycle where my partner would be struggling, I would try to help them, they would push me away and/or say things that would really hurt me, I would feel upset and hurt, but then feel so guilty for being upset and hurt because I knew they didn’t mean it the way it felt and that this wasn’t about me, so I would just keep those feelings to myself and say nothing, and it would start all over again. These aren’t pretty emotions at all, and I fully understand why some people are hurt by the way Taylor talks about them, but I think there’s a big difference between “I’m frustrated because my partner is struggling and I feel like I’m giving them everything I have but nothing ever changes and it’s hurting me” and “my partner is too depressed to deal with, why won’t they just get over it?”

I’ve had loved ones tell me tell me to just stop being depressed before — I know that hurt very well, and at least to me, this feels different. Honestly I really appreciate songs like Renegade and So Long London because hearing someone else talk about that experience has made me feel less like I was some uniquely horrible person incapable of being the perfect supporting partner that I should have been. I think it’s just a shitty, frustrating situation where no one is solely to blame, and I think that’s how Taylor presents it.

But again, this is just my opinion — I can totally see how and why people might interpret them differently and feel hurt by them, and I don’t want to speak over those feelings at all

Hi friend! First of all tysm for being so open and honest about your personal struggles with both yourself and past relationships - I'm grateful you feel you can be safe here talking about that. And secondly in your grace and empathy in understanding the many potential sticky layers of feeling here and how this might be ruffly and uncomfortable for people. I love that so much.

My interpretation has always very much been in alignment with yours. And I think if this album was seeking to do any one thing it was to wield honesty like a blunt force instrument - even and especially when the truth is uncomfortable and can be alienating. I've never once interpreted her documentation of a partner's mental health struggles as "get over it" (is there anyone who better understands how fucking hard it is to get over literally anything than Taylor?). But I feel the line that haunts me most is, "I gave you all my best me's / My endless empathy / And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier". And the uncomfortable truth is that it is so incredibly painful to be in love with someone who doesn't love themselves and who has proven (despite years of begging and pleading and patience and kindness) that they are not interested in becoming someone who can love you better. And it's unfair and shitty and horrible to have your "spine split from carrying [both of you] up the hill" for years. You feel sad for them. You feel sad for you. You feel sad that you feel sad. And then you feel mad that they are making you sad. And and and.

#tss ttpd party #opinion

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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

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"Bring on The Dancing Horses"(x) - Echo and The Bunnymen × Ferrari Drivers

#yes this web weave was titled 'Bring on The Prancing Horses' in my docs....yes im proud of that....#long post whoop!!! pls scroll back thru and listen to the song while doing so if you wanna experience it better :)#this was originally supposed to be an edit but i have no patience for that and im very happy w this!!#i daydream to music a lot and when i first heard this song i could only think of ferrari seb then sebchal then ferrari drivers in general #but this hurt me a lot to make(for several reasons)#one: AAAAHHHH IT MAKES ME SADDDDDDD!! now im only gonna be able to think of the myth of ferrari when i listen to this song #it rly hurt to look up the pics for this bcs it still feels sore to me and it makes me so sad #but at least i didnt have to watch vids! id probably burst into tears #two: fighting for my life in google docs trying to format the text hahaha... i refuse to use photoshop #special thanks to cofi (@sweatyflytrap) for giving me the idea to put the TPs for the lies lyrics!#its both funny and unfortunate that domenicali was the TP for both felipe and fernando #it would be a bit better if there was a different tp for each but ah oh well #also hehe changed the lyric a tiny bit for the Kimi part. in the og lyrics its Jimmy not Kimi but yknow felt odd to leave it as it was so!#other than that i really really ardently feel that this song fits the cycle of ferrari drivers soooooo well #the 'bring on the new messiah' at the end of the song PLEASE IT FITS SO WELL! with how they drop their prev golden boy for whoevers next!#also omg the way seb's verse is 'you're breaking my brittle heart' rather than "im breaking your brittle heart' HURTS DOESNT IT??????#i didnt included the original opening/middle verse. i def could make it fit but it wasnt a good opening for this post specifically #'Jimmy Brown made of stone' = kimi again. 'Charlie clown no way home' = charles of course!#anyways this is my magnum opus...but nah i really like it! ill only ever make web weaves w random 80s music i think hahah #ferrari #scuderia ferrari #felipe massa #kimi raikkonen #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #f1 #formula 1 #we do a little bit of f1 #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

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steakout-05 · 20 days

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ok as an artist i personally find traditional painting to be. really really annoying. like. i do not have the patience for it and i just find it to be really frustrating to set up and actually do and i end up not liking the results. i find that there's little room for mistakes and trying to fix them usually ends up with me making 50 other ones, paints can be so inconsistent and having to rely on availability and certain brands to continue making the paint is really inconvenient, not to mention expensive. spending a bunch of time trying to mix the right shade of paint, only for it to go down a completely different shade of colour and not being able to do anything about it is so frustrating as someone who likes consistency and having things just, y'know, not change colour as soon as it dries. plus, they all use different chemicals and can go off really easily or change textures and i am just not ok with having all my materials having an expiration date like food. lead and graphite pencils just don't do that and they can last for years, they're more reliable. every paint is drastically different and trying to find the right one is not only time consuming but, again, expensive, and i don't even see the point in experimenting when most of my materials end up not even getting used if i don't like using them. plus, i'm just.... really impatient. waiting for paint to dry sucks and is why i much prefer digital or just drawing something because i don't need to wait for anything, it just works. and then when i do want to take my time and work slowly for a better result, it dries too fast. it's kinda hellish trying to balance that time, especially considering how inconsistent paints are.

i like to use guidelines when doing art and i find painting straight onto a canvas to be really tricky because there's a lack of direction for me to actually paint. i'm at a complete loss at what to do when i pick up a brush because i can't map it out first without risking screwing up the paint. there's just so many things to keep track of and so much wet paint to avoid and i just do not have the mind for it. putting colours on a canvas and praying that it works just isn't it for me and requires a discipline that i just don't wanna involve myself with. painting is also just like... really exhausting and kinda painful. i got some pretty bad back issues and my arms tire and get sore easily and quickly when i'm standing in front of a canvas. it's a really physical activity for me and i just don't find something to be very fun to do at all when it's physically hurting me. i know drawing on a canvas has this issue too, which is why i prefer sketchbooks. sitting down and drawing something that doesn't break my entire spine every time i do it is much more preferrable than questioning if i should go to the doctor every time i make a brushstroke, lol

that's not to say that there's nothing i like about painting though! i can paint simple little things, and i like doing that. i like mixing colours with a palette knife and i find it fun and even a little relaxing. i painted some cute little chibi cardboard cutouts of the mario brothers one time and i found that to be really fun and i think i'd like to do that again! but apart from that, i just do not have the patience for it. i love the look of traditional paintings and i find many to be really beautiful, but i could never get into actually doing it myself because i hate the process. i'm content with just sketching and doing digital stuff because that's more fun to me and less stressful of a process to do. it's fun, it allows for more mistakes, it's easier to build up layers of shading and lines, not to mention using building up a figure with guidelines is super helpful with visualising what i want it to look like, and i can just erase something if i don't want it there or want to change something. it just makes sense to me.

tl;dr i dont like painting because it's inconsistent, expensive, time-consuming, directionless, frustrating and it makes my back hurt really bad. i'll just stick to drawing stuff :)

#vent #artist vent #i hate painting #i hate it so much and i just cannot understand it nor do i have the patience for it #i seriously had a crack at it and i just find it to be so annoying #there's so much preparation and i'd much prefer just whipping out a pencil and eraser and scribbling something down #to be fair though i do enjoy other art mediums that require more preparation #i find crafts to be fun and i really like working with air dry clay #using clay is just creating a little creature and i really quite like it a lot #making little cardboard guys is fun if not a bit tricky sometimes because my hands are so big compared to the tiny bits of carboard im usin #but it's very fun and cardboard is easy to get #clay is not so easy to get but you can get a lot of it and make many things with it #the only things i really dont like about clay is fingerprints and the fear of having your art literally explode when you fire it up #but other than that? fun!#painting? not fun!#paint is so messy and i don't like having goopy stuff getting stuck on me and all over my fingers all the time funnily enough #if i bump into something (which is very likely for me because i am clumsy) then oouuguh there goes all the paint its everywhere now #oh my god you know what i hate the most. i hate oil paints. i hate them so much.#the smell gives me bad headaches and makes me feel faint and it's hard to clean and dispose of and it's just more chemicals to deal with #it's just acrylic but more annoying #i don't think it's edible either which is. frustrating #it's also harder to clean out if you get stained with it (which is very likely because paint is messy)#i just dislike oil materials in general. they smell weird and they do not wash off. i still have oil pastel stains on one of my favourite-#-shirts despite the fact that it has been washed multiple times. and it took several days and so much fucking scrubbing to get-#-it out of my nails and off my hands completely. actual hellscape.#i know graphite and lead pencils would never betray me like this #pencils are so reliable and i love them <3 #pencils and drawing equipment in general are just more reliable and don't expire or develop inconsistent textures (except erasers for some-#-reason) and they don't! hurt! my! back!#like i'm over here needing to do the riker maneuver to sit down after i paint my back hurts so bad

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silverior968 · 4 months

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You know what's half upsetting half pretty funny? There's this song I absolutely love and I've always wanted to put it in a character playlist, but it is just so bleak that I've never been able to justify putting it in a character playlist. Keep in mind I have a playlist for Anton Shudder, the guy who is so depressed he can turn it into a literal physical weapon. He's like the king of bleakness but the song was just too bleak. Well, I've finally found a character whose playlist I can put that song into -- and it's a fucking TFP character. I checked the song, counted all the lines in it (44) and all the lines out of those that don't fit him (9). As a percentage that means that 80% of the lyrics of one of the bleakest songs I know fit a guy from a show I watched when I was 11. Life is absurd.

#not art #text post #I'm not putting this in the tags because it is literally 10% fandom content 90% me rambling about a song #if you really want to know the song in question is “The Alien” by Manchester Orchestra #and when I say it's bleak I mean it. Content warning for attempted suicide and mentions of child abuse and traffic accidents #the lyrics I discounted weren't even because they were too bleak! I had to discount all the ones that mention biological family!#it's such a pretty song though #the singer of that band has such an incredible voice it's like he's harmonizing with himself #also me saying this song is bleak also means a lot when you know what type of music i listen to #all I'm saying is that one friend had to stop listening to my playlist because it was too sad #and that was the anton playlist! the playlist that this song was too bleak for!#another reason it can't go in the anton playlist #is because the main character of the song says he didn't mean to hurt anyone several times #and that's just blatantly not true for anton #he doesn't like hurting anyone but sometimes he has to and he does it intentionally #meanwhile dr. blorbo over here only has like 1 person on his hitlist #i love making posts where the tags are longer than the post itself #this is like the secret club for all of you in the audience who got curious enough to read my ramblings

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mejomonster · 1 year

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I said I was writing a novel to someone

and they were like "oh that's good! Writings a good way to process what you've been through" and hoo boy right then did it slam home that to a medical professional it would seem I got health problem related trauma out the wazoo

#rant #ToT i was like. she thinks... i write... to cope with nearly dying in the hospital and starving months and being cut up a lot and in #a bunch of stupid sucky internal pain???#i mean. i wouldnt say i Dont have medical trauma....#when i read The Body Keeps the Score i realized i probably had some even from birth #the whole premie baby unit thing. then a heart problem taking all my calories to keep me alivr making me a tiny child with chest pain #age 5 birthday appendicitis and mu mom told me i didnt even cry i just said to her i was sad i couldnt play #age 8 heart surgery Fixing the lifelong to that point bullshit so i gained 100 lbs almost innediately once body could STORE ENERGY and #wasnt nearly dying nonstop. age 17 mental health decided to try and kill me for several years which id say was worse but not medical?#then fixed mental uealth and GALBLADDER tried to hurt me nonstop agh #then this gastroparesis etc gi bullshit #anyway. um yes i suppose there may be somr medical trauma compoundint the ptsd for other reasons lmao #but. i write cause... i like silly queer morally grey faeries...#and explorint the idea of who is a #person how much can someone change before they cease to be them. and there can be love and safety #and community and better days even if we go thru suffering or feel everyrhing is The Worst #shdjdj but yeah at physical therapy she was like ah yes youre in mega pain daily #writing is a GREAT OUTLET #dhdhdjfj???!!!!#dude no i want to do boxing now thats an outlet. i need to hit stuff #dancing is my actual outlet btw. unless im too injured to dance :c then mentally im WANTING to dance

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guinevereslancelot · 9 months

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feeling like my friends secretly hate me at it's not even 9pm

#been feeling this way since the weekend....#helped my pregnant friend move and couldn't shake the feeling she was upset abt the way i was packing her stuff even tho i checked with her #but she wasn't giving any directions i had to make choices lol #and i got a lot done but idk #her husband said she wasn't upset just feeling terrible w morning sickness #also i offered to bring a meal by several times and she keeps putting me off #and then my mom got her some maternity clothes and she didn't even say thank you #and i asked if that made her uncomfortable and she just kind of laughed but didn't say no #she basically hasnt given a straight answer about anything in weeks #idk she has no actual reason to be upset and i know she's not feeling well but she's been acting sooo weird #it makes me feel liks she's mad at me :(#even my mom's feelings were hurt abt the clothes #so that's just confirming for me its not in my head even tho ik it probably is #anyway i hate feeling like this #we're not lile suuuper close and she's been so weird i dont want to bring it up #esp since she's not feeling well and has a lot going on and real problems lol #anyway :(#this has been a shitpost #if we were closer i would def tell her she hurt my mom's feelings at least #also my brother and i were like the only people in the friend group to show up to help them move #so that should buy forgiveness for packing stuff wrong or whatever #like we had to just get stuff packed they had barely packed and all that was left was miscellaneous stuff #and it took forever even tho we tried to be efficient and get through as much as possible quickly #but im worried she felt like we were judging the mess idk

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hella1975 · 1 year

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has that other anon ever met an upper class brit because i guarantee they wouldn't feel the same after encountering All That

literally 😭 like comparing classism is so dumb when it’s very much a subjective, varied conversation WITHIN a country let alone amongst different countries but that sentiment can and should coexist with the acknowledgement that british classism Does Not Fuck About

#like u cant lob both country's classim under an umbrella term when comparing them #bc our culture and history with it is so wildly different #like american classism IS there and IS a serious problem the irony here is that literally at no point did anyone say otherwise #so idk why anon got so up in arms lol #but the thing about british classism and the reason it gets talked about so much is because it is such a huge part of our lives #and americans never seem to really get that like even americans that acknowledge it i feel still struggle to grasp the severity of it #I’ve seen a lot of much smarter well-researched people say that class and race in the uk and usa are flipped #so while it’s important to note that BOTH countries have serious issues in both departments the way they manifest is different #so the way race is treated with such severity/extremity in america and racism so normalised and systemic #is exactly how class is here #and the way classism is typically more indirect and underlying in america #is how racism is here #does that make sense? there’s a lot of articles online that explain it better #like im explaining it v briefly and it's obviously not that black and white but that's the general gist of it #and if ur american thinking ‘classism doesn’t FEEL indirect for me so you're WRONG’#then consider im not wrong. that's just how severe it is here for me to be saying it #like idk I can’t stand this narrative anyway of taking away from the original problem to instead have a pissing contest about it #so this will probs be the last I speak about it #but it’s super interesting and it can’t hurt to know more about especially with the prevalence of americacentrism #which is why I responded so harshly to anon to begin with bc like really?#you saw ONE POST that wasn’t about america or american problems and got upset. be serious rn #ask

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yoshifawful64 · 1 year

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#god i hate hate hate hate HATE having to go meet people about my whole financial/unemployment status #like yes i know it's not good right now and yes i know something has to be done sooner or later and yes i KNOW i probably need help/a push #but like. idk how to really express it they just… they always look at me in such a superficial way #like they never understand — or even seem to consider — that i am this way for a reason. i got a lot of issues and apprehensions and so on #and most of it roots back to ableism and trauma. but they never really seem to think there may be something beneath the surface #not to mention they keep assuming my family — and my parents in particular — are like cool chummy pals or whatever. or a helpful safety net #instead of people who've regularly & routinely mistreated me and severely hurt my mental health. and whom i wish i could cut out of my life #all that just makes it practically impossible to NOT be severely uncomfortable w/the workers — let alone trust them with my personal stuff #personal #negative #like if you read i guess

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orcelito · 1 year

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currently wondering whether collecting my blades for a group pic would be bad for my tenuous mental health atm

#speculation nation #i was trying to list out all my blades but i have far too many to reasonably do that way #so the natural next step would be to collect them all up for a pic #i havent done that in a while. now is probably not a good time.#like!!!!!!!!!! it's not like i'd be scared of hurting myself on them or anything #my knives are a solid for Cool Factor or Practical Use only. not for bad mental health times #but having a bunch of blades before me might not be the best plan #..but also. also. i kinda really wanna collect all my babies in one place #i dont even know how many i have. i have way too many & it's been several years since ive done a group count #/ picture. and this time i will TRY to not drop my machete on my finger #still sometimes astounded that i managed to drop my machete on my finger point-first and somehow did NOT take a finger off #i was very very lucky it hit the bone rather than the joint. hurt like a bitch and left a scar but couldve been Much worse #uhm. i learned from it though! no more big machete in unidentified boxes #oh yea i forgot my machete is still located in my bed frame. im so used to it i forget i literally sleep next to a machete every night #a naked blade as long as my leg. but i keep it wrapped up with the blade Down so no injuries have occurred!#........ when i talk about this shit like this it makes me astounded no one's tried to stage an intervention #ive only gotten lil knicks from my stupidity so i guess ppl have decided im not That much of a hazard to myself #the machete in the bedframe is just from paranoia anyways. just like my axe on the display case #oh fuck i forgot i own an axe. and a spear. and several swords.#and a CANE SWORD and a fuck ton of pocket knives. guys i own a lot of blades.#this is not stopping my wish to gather them up for a group picture. it's been so long i have forgotten most of what i own. help

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elytrafemme · 1 year

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i’m so in love. fuck, i’m so in love.

#nightmare.personal #i'm so down bad for her and it's fucking ridiculous because like #i'm literally helping her get together with a guy. i spent several months flipping between rage and idolization of her #but just. i don't know. she holds my hand a lot and we've been texting all the time #and we both leave each other space to hang out with our other friends but we always drift back together #she keeps telling me i'm the only person who understands her #and i feel like i understand myself better because i understand her #i'm starting to make the same kinds of jokes that she also makes #on friday we were talking to our teacher and she came behind me and wrapped her arms around me and he didn't bat an eye #and later i stole her jacket and neither of them really cared much #i was on the verge of throwing up out of fear while setting a boundary with her but she accepted it easier than anything #and she tells me she loves me all the time #and of course it stings a little that she keeps making it a point that we're never going to get married or be together #it hurts and i know that. but i have got to learn patience #if there was anything on this earth worth waiting for it's her #because she watched off-brand hallmark films as a kid. knows how to skin a fish and applied that knowledge to an aloe plant #we closed the door on our teacher when he stepped out for a bit and danced to her spotify in his room #even if i never find someone like her and even if she never wants me it doesn't really matter #she's not going to settle down at the age of 16 and the only reason i'm ready to is because i'm 17 yes but have lived for longer #maybe in 10 years we'll have it click but for now. this is enough #so long as she lets me keep loving her then i think it's enough. it's okay #we all ache and we all wait and that's why we're alive

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arolesbianism · 7 days

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Shakes the bars of my cage I need to draw soooo bad I need to draw I need to draw let me draw I have to draw I need to draw I must draw (<- has been too sick to be on electronics much and doesn't like doing traditional art)

#rat rambles #Im starting to feel better tho Im betting within a day or two Ill have made a full recovery #but I just have so many things I wanna draw all the sudden and its killing me #its because I've been thinking abt ocs again and that gives me a lot more options lol #in particular I've been thinking abt marci and toon more again recently #its just the two of them flirting in their mutual workplace environment with toon being dead serious and marci doing it ironically #the main thing is that marci was rly under the impression that toon like. hated her and was taunting her since they're friends with loonie #who long story short is marci's ex childhood best friend who she fell out with after the death of loonie's mom #the two are not on good terms in the slightest and marci knows very well that loonie would want her dead if she had been more honest #so as toon starts to like get more casual and like genuine with marci as the two spend more time together marci warms up somewhat but still #doesn't rly see toon as a friendly figure until they take her out to a museum and marci kind of snaps a bit and asks toon to stop beating #around the bush and is caught off guard when toon seems genuinely kind of hurt and meekly explains that they were just trying to help her #because she had seemed rly stressed and sad all the time and they thought that their lil dates had been helping her relax a bit #that confrontation left marci initially feeling confused but after the initial shock she was mostly left with a sense of dread and guilt #partially because she had just snapped at someone who she had grown to care abt for no reason and partially because she now felt that she #was hiding stuff from toon that would cause them to change their mind on her immediately if they knew #aka that she and loonie are divorced and that she thinks its mom sucked absolute ass (which she did)#oh and also that she used to have a crush on the guy that killed its mom who was also his mom which is also the reason she hates said mom #said mom treated him (aka midas) like shit and tried to get him killed several times #so when all hell broke loose marci at the end ended up mourning midas much more than his mom who everyone else was mourning #including loonie since it actually had a very positive relationship with its mom and a very distant relationship from its siblings #now marci never admitted all of this to anyone but she did act on those feelings to eventually lash out at loonie causing a huge fight #basically she yelled at it for being pushy and clingy and forcing her into a job she didnt want and expecting her to solve all its problems #the two dont necessarily hate eachother but they definitely heavily resent eachother #they still often long for eachothers companionship but not nearly enough for either to wanna make ammends #so toon quite liking both of them causes some internal conflict for the both of them #loonie is fully aware that toon has a big ol crush on marci but doesnt stop them from being friends with her even if it makes it sad #and marci rly wishes that toon wasnt friends with loonie but feels guilty for feeling that way #its a complicated situation and one that rly isn't helped by the fact that one of the three has the dead god queen mom #loonie could get away with a Lot and everyone knows it

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insanechayne · 4 months

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~ ~ ~

#well I didn’t get any answers or clarity but I did get a fight and a whole lot of stress so that’s something huh #you get a clean slate and I get to keep carrying the emotional burden #doesn’t matter what I need/want I can’t barely talk about anything because it’s just too hard for you #and rather than helping me understand by talking things out with me and giving me an explanation I get this same argumentative bullshit #so my mind is going to go to whatever reason it can find even if it’s not the right reason or it’s a really bad one or whatever #so I just get stuck with this anxiety and intrusive thoughts and guilt and everything else #this is when I start to see just how worth it to be with you it’s not #this is when I want to distance myself until I can just cut you off #this is when I want to hurt you the way you’ve hurt me and turn everything around on you because you deserve it #I know I’ve tagged this lyric in several of my recent posts but here it is again because it’s so fitting #for somebody I thought was my savior you sure make me do a whole lot of labor #personal

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eowyn-igneelcheshire · 7 months

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Reblog this, spread the word

For anyone who is unaware, MAP means "minor attracted person" though this is nothing but a false name Pedophiles use in attempt to weasel their way into the Queer community. If you see anyone using this flag, block them and report them if you can.

Edit: I've seen a lot of people mention this so I'd like to state it here as well so more people can see it. 1) DO NOT REFER TO PEDOPHILES AS "MAPS". The only reason I used it here was to make people aware of what it means in this context. Children are unfortunately extremely likely to run into pedophiles on the internet (I myself was contacted by several back when I was still a minor, some before I even knew what "map" flags were). Some- not all, but some- are very open about being pedophiles, and of the ones who are open about it, most hide themselves behind the title "Minor Attracted Person" and use the "pride" flags they and 4chan users create. I have also run into these kinds of pedophiles on the internet and I only knew that they weren't safe and I needed to block them because I knew about the "map" thing and I recognized some of their flags. Actually using it when talking about pedophiles does nothing but help them hide and it also hurts the animation community. Which brings me to point 2) the term "MAP" in animation is an acronym for "Multi Animator Project". If you see an animation video with MAP in the title it simply means that the video was made in a collaboration between several animators, it is in no way related to pedophiles or pedophilia. We need to stop calling pedophiles MAPs both to stop giving them an "innocent" sounding title and to stop hurting the animators who are simply trying to keep their titles short and simple.

(where I got this image: https://pin.it/6SgjdcX)

@sanityshorror @sobertober6969 thought you two would want to share this with your followers

#queer pride #queer #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gay #lesbian #transgender #bisexual #bigender

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aromantic-pantyanarchy · 4 months

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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

#aromantic #aro #aro positivity #reference to aphobia

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