#can’t wait for until like 50 years when all these annoying old fucks stop existing

[whatdoscissorsdo]

twitter rant

#i hate myself omygof #ive been spending so much time on twitter that I almost told someone to kys #i didn’t though bc ik thats bad no matter the context but what the fuck someone’s mom on twitter logged on their account #and was tweeting about how their child talking about lgbt stuff is immoral #and the owner of the account- her child- committed and is currently on life support #and this mf is out here being homophobic on twitter #i hate mothers so much. mine is homophobic as well despite her best friend being a literal lesbian. fucking I fucking hate old people #can’t wait for until like 50 years when all these annoying old fucks stop existing #suicide tw #homophobia tw

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

You know what I want?

Domestic Stucky. In Westview. Hear me out.

(First of all, Endg*me can go fuck itself. Steve’s whole thing? Never happened. Forget about it. Wipe if from your mind. We’re rewriting that shit.)

(Also, this isn’t a fic even though I know it starts out looking like one lol. This is just stream of consciousness thoughts. I would put way more effort into actual writing)

The weeks after the final snap were hard. 

Bucky was back, and it felt like every weight that had been dragging Steve down for the past 5 years was lifted. He was mentally and physically exhausted, but his soulmate, his best friend, was at his side again, pulling him into a warm hug, tight and breathtaking. 

It was still hard; Steve was a very different man than he had been 5 years ago, but Bucky was calm and understanding. There was still much to mourn for, too. Tony and Nat were gone. Any sense of stability that had been established during those 5 years was immediately destroyed, and Steve was sure it would take many more years to try to fix the damage.

And Wanda. When Wanda was snapped back into existence, her grief was palpable. What had been 5 terrible years for him had been 5 minutes of bliss for her, relief that she wouldn’t have to try to live in a world without Vision. Steve knew the feeling. Even though he didn’t quite understand Wanda and Vision’s relationship (he was a robot?), he can’t really judge because he’s been pining after his childhood best friend for the better part of a century and still hasn’t managed to do anything about it.

To be brought back to life was the worst trick you could play on Wanda. Her sense of peace was snatched away from her and she was throttled back into a world that had nothing in it for her. Everyone she loved was dead. Her powers still deemed her a threat, even if she had played a crucial role in the fight against Thanos.

Steve wanted to be selfish and just run away with Bucky, but he couldn’t leave Wanda, who had become the little sister he never had.

He worried about her. Even as those who had been snapped away started to come to terms with the fact that 5 years had passed, Wanda wandered around, just a shell of her former self. Sometimes she fell into fits of rage and despair, using her powers to smash everything in her room at the compound or snapping at anyone who tried to distract her. Most of the time she was just blank.

Just a month after the return from the blip, Wanda strolls into the kitchen and announces that she’s going to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. Steve’s head snaps up. Her eyes are hard and determined, and Steve belatedly realizes that every muscle in her body is tense as she readies herself to fight anyone who tries to stop her. Sam is the first to speak up.

“Okay, kid,” he breathes out nonchalantly, “you need anyone to go with you?” Sam is good like that. Always knowing what to say to make someone feel comfortable and cared about, but not coddled.

“No,” Wanda grits out. A breath, and then, softer, “thank you.”

Glancing around to see if anyone else had any objections, Wanda walks out of the compound.

Steve lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was still holding, but the room is still tense. He whips around to Bucky, eyes wide with concern.

Before he can even say anything, Bucky reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry. Come on, we’ll watch out for her.”

So, with a tight smile, Steve stands up and lets Bucky lead the two of them out.

It’s not until they are halfway down the street in an inconspicuous car, trailing a little ways behind Wanda’s red sedan that it occurs to Steve to ask what they’re doing.

“We’re just going to follow her to make sure she’s alright, pal. S.W.O.R.D. has Vision’s body, and it’s not a good idea for her to be alone, even if she thinks it’s best.”

“She’ll be mad if she realizes what we’re doing.”

“Good thing one of us is a reformed Russian spy,” he smirks.

Steve’s heart skips a beat at that familiar face, one that he hadn’t thought he’d ever see again, and blushes, ducking his head. If Bucky notices, he doesn’t say. They carry on in a comfortable silence.

As they pull into the S.W.O.R.D. parking lot, Steve watches Wanda march into the headquarters. He turns to Bucky, "Are we going to follow her in?"

"You can't, that's for sure." Steve scowls. "It's not entirely your fault, pal, but you're don't exactly blend in easily. But I'll go in to keep an eye on her if you want me to."

Steve considers the offer for the moment. As much as he wanted to watch out for Wanda, he knew that if she found out, it would hurt her more. She would think that he didn't trust her, and that he was following her to make sure that she didn't lose control of her powers and hurt people. He didn't want to make her feel more ostracized than she already was.

"No, we'll just wait," he says, shaking his head. His eyes never leave the entrance to S.W.O.R.D. headquarters. 

The wait for Wanda feels excruciatingly long. Steve doesn't trust that S.W.O.R.D. is any better than S.H.I.E.L.D., and he honestly has no idea what they've been doing with Vision's body for the last 5 years. A renewed sense of guilt washes over him.  If he had tried to fight S.W.O.R.D. harder for Vision's body, Wanda wouldn't be here, fighting through her grief to see him one last time. After the snap, Steve didn't feel like he could waste his dwindling energy scrutinizing S.W.O.R.D's every move, but he now wishes he had. He could have spared her this pain. 

Sensing the anxiety bubbling up within him, Bucky reaches out, pulling Steve's hand into his own. "It's not your fault, Steve," he reminds him gently. Steve squeezes his hand in response.

Wanda walks out of S.W.O.R.D. headquarters 20 minutes later. She seems drained and tired, but her expression reveals nothing. They wait again before following her out of the lot.

When she turns right, away from the direction of the compound where he assumed she would return, Steve frowns. "Where is she going? The compound's the other way."

Bucky shrugs. "I guess we'll see."

Steve has no idea where they are until he sees a sign declaring "Welcome to New Jersey!" not far down the highway.

"What the hell is she going to Jersey for?" Bucky gasps, pulling a loud laugh from Steve's chest. It's absurd and ridiculous, but it reminds Steve of when they were kids in Brooklyn, shitting on the Yankees and the state's annoying accent, among the plethora of other abhorrent traits about New Jersey. Bucky starts laughing with him, shaking his head. 

They finally arrive in a small, run-down town called Westview. Steve can't imagine why Wanda would come here.

Her red sedan comes to a stop in front of an empty plot of land, and she steps out, clutching a folded piece of paper to her chest.

"Oh, Christ... Shit," Bucky mutters. Steve is about to ask what he's thinking when he finally sees Wanda's walls crumble. 

Her shoulders shake with the force of her sobs, and she falls to her knees with a cry of desperation. A red orb of her twists around her body and Steve shoves the door to the car open, desperate to get to Wanda. 

"Steve!" he hears Bucky cry out behind him, and it's the last thing he hears before Wanda's powers implode around her, and his vision is blotted with red.

Remember! Wanda made all of her characters in the hex as similar to their actual lives as possible to ease her control of them! SO, it's only natural that her powers would pick up on the fact that Steve and Bucky are very obviously pining for each other and put them in a loving relationship while they are in the hex. Since they are both under Wanda's control, their storyline would happen mostly independently from what we see in WandaVision. I wouldn't have there be any smut (since I'm not talented enough or comfortable writing it myself) so there wouldn't be any non-con or any serious dub-con while they are in the hex. The idea is that both of them want everything that they are made to do (be partners, hold hands, kiss, do other couple-y stuff), but they are concerned because they think the other would feel disgusted and not want it.

There unfortunately were not any gay characters on TV in the 50s and 60s, so I would write these two "episodes" with loose ties to other sitcoms from those decades and do some research into how gay couples lived during these time periods. Basically, reimagine my own 50s and 60s sitcoms with realistic portrayals of a gay couple.

For the other decades, I would then base their relationship off of those actually depicted in sitcoms from that time. 

It should be noted that, while I have actually watch a lot of old sitcoms, I haven't watched many of the ones I mention. If I every decide to write this, I would do a lot more research on these shows (and watch some episodes!)

70's - I would likely draw from Barney Miller, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, and Soap.

80's - Roseanne is pretty iconic, but I would be a little hesitant to write it after all of the controversy a couple years ago. Love, Sidney may also work, but I don't know enough about the show.

90's - Will & Grace, of course! I don't know anything about Northern Exposure, but the little bit of research I've done suggests that also may be a source of inspiration.

2000 through early 2010s - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Modern Family. (I loved The War At Home, but it doesn't really fit)

When Wanda releases everyone from the hex, Bucky and Steve had some serious miscommunication issues and angst. Both feeling exceedingly guilty about their actions, despite the fact that they had no control over them. They got a taste for what domestic life would be like together, and they are frustrated that they enjoyed it since they believe the other one did not. When Wanda explains that her powers gave everyone jobs, relationships and roles in society that were equally comparable to those they had in real life, Bucky and Steve both realize that the hex would not have put them in a relationship if it wasn't what the other also wanted. Yay! They make-up (and make-out, lol).

I seriously want to write this, but I really don't have the confidence that I will be able to execute it as I imagine it. If someone wants to work on it with me (be it we both write it or you just want to offer some brainstorming help/story guidance), I would be thrilled! Just so long as there isn't any pressure to get it done in a time crunch. I just want this writing experience to be fun! Also, if you are interested, I swear I’m a better writer than what was just exhibited, but I really only spent an hour or so on it, so it’s obviously not my best work.

Anyway, if you have any thoughts, suggestions, advice etc or just want to scream about WandaVision and/or Stucky, please feel free to PM me or stop by my inbox. It would make my day :) 

#sara says stuff #my writing #wandavision #stucky

[jiamour]

christmas in july

pairing: johnny x reader 

genre: fluff

word count: 2k

summary: domestic christmas dad johnny, that’s it, that’s the summary

a/n: i wrote this two years ago so its not great and its bullet point which is annoying but im posting it because i was thinking about domestic dad johnny

・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ ・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ . 。・

“suh soojin stop throwing snow at your brother we have to go!” you spoke loud and stern trying to get everyone in order because you were already late

you were going to the christmas concert in the park that started 10 minutes ago

you had everything perfectly planned out

or at least you did until your son, hyungsik, refused to leave the house without hot chocolate

or your daughter somehow breaking all of your thermoses the night before while having a tea party

or your fucking husband johnny who existed only to wreak havoc and start a seemingly endless snowball fight

you felt johnny’s arms wrap around your waist and his head rest on your shoulder

“come on yn they’re kids let them play” he hummed into your ear his tone smooth and sweet

“no” you shook him off and walked towards your kids clapping your hands as you spoke “we have to go i am not missing the concert for the fifth year in a row because of you guys”

finally they listened, swishing their mittens together to get rid of the snow and running off in front of you with their infinite supply of energy

you lived in a small town so the concert was about a 10 minute walk away if your family didn’t decide to take any detours

something of which was inevitable

you were stopped first to buy santa hats for the whole family which johnny said we’re absolutely essential

then obviously you needed candy canes

and of course marshmallows for the hot chocolate

but other than that it was a no distractions walk

you walked into the park and to your relief the band was still playing christmas music that you’ve already heard 1000 times that month

you and johnny sat on a hay bale set out as seats at the very back while your kids played in the snow right behind you

you listened intently as a loud rock version of deck the halls blasted from the speakers on the small stage

for about 3 minutes

and then the song ended

the lead singer took the mic off the stand and began to speak once the scattered applause from the frozen people in front of you ended

“that’s the end of our show thank you so much for coming. merry christmas everyone”

they left the stage

your head dropped into your hands

you had missed another year

at this point you don’t know why you kept trying

johnny softly moved your hands away from your face and lifted your chin so your eyes met his

“next year okay” he said in a soft mutter, his nose and cheeks tinted pink from the cold

you nodded with a sigh and went to get up and walk all the way back home

before you could move johnny grabbed the ends of your scarfs and pulled you into him

he kissed you softly trying to cheer you up

and of course it was working

even though it was happening while you were sitting on itchy cold hay and groups of loud people were leaving around you

it was nice

or at least it was until your daughter chucked a snowball at the both of you

when you turned to look at her she was glaring a hand on her hips “there’s children around, y’know! no one wants to see that!”

ah the homemade cock blocks strike again

johnny leaned down and rolled up a snowball with his bare hands tossing it back at your daughter

“this means war soojin” he said in a over expressive triumphant voice making your daughter laugh and begin to stock pile snow balls into her pockets so she could have quick ammo

johnny got up from the hay bale and ran towards your son getting an “alliance” as he called it before picking him up on his shoulders handing him snowballs so he could throw at both you and soojin

one badly aimed snowball by johnny went flying past you and hit an old lady in the distance who glared back in surprise

when her eyes met his he ran.

child on his shoulders and all

“sorry” you waved to her hearing an angry mutter in response

your head fell into you hands again

once again your childish husband embarrassed you in front of the whole town

・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ ・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ . 。・

it was 9pm when you got off work and driving home in the snow was a pain

it was almost pitch black when you pulled up to your house, you sighed as you got out of your car hating the extreme cold

you hit your boots against the edge of the door to get the snow off before opening the door and entering your warm cozy house

while you were gone johnny and the kids had decorated it

which is why it looked a little bit of a mess

but you still loved it

shivering from the chill of the cold you shrugged of your jacket and took off your boots

quiet christmas music played in the front room where you assumed johnny was still decorating

a box sat on the stairs filled with decoration so you decided to help

you were about half way through the box when you heard johnny’s angelic voice begin to sing

outshining the song on the radio

“oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining”

his voice made your heart skip a beat

it was so peaceful and beautiful that you didn’t want to interrupt

you continued decorating swaying to the music as you went along

“fall on your knees, oh hear the angels voices. o night divine, o night when christ was born”

how did you get so lucky

eventually his voice brought you closer to him wanting to hear more

he was hanging the last of the decorations on the tree not hearing you come in

quietly you walked over and hugged him from behind, arms around his waist and cheek against his back

he jumped a little but relaxed into your touch

to your dismay his singing stopped leaving only the quiet radio

“hey baby” he hummed turning around so he could hug you back and rest his head on top of yours

“keep singing” your voice was slightly muffled from the sweater on his chest “you’re going to make me a christian”

he laughed and paused for a second listening to the song before singing again

“chains shall he break for the slave is our brother and in his name all oppression shall cease” he sung beautifully swaying both of you slowly back and forth

“fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices o night divine, o night when christ was born o night divine, o night, o night divine” the calm aura and his honey smooth voice made your eyes droop and his arms tighten around you pulling you even closer

he kissed the top of your head before singing again until the song ended

“i love you a lot” you hummed into his chest and you felt his heart speed up as well as his small loving chuckle

“i love you too”

・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ ・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ . 。・

johnny took a sip of coffee adjusting his over sized and useless glasses as if they actually helped him see (he claimed they made him look like an intellectual) as he looked through the flyers

he shifted the flyer over to you pointing to a robot at the top “don’t you think hyungsik would love that”

“johnny we got all their gifts, we still need to get something for your parents and we’re already over budget” you yawned out rubbing your tired eyes and taking a sip of your own coffee to try to wake you more

“but yn~” he whined, even though he was a grown adult and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “okay, i don’t appreciate the sass”

“you’re such a child” you scolded playfully and kissed his pouting lips

“don’t you want our creations to be happy baby” he asked still pouting despite the the kiss, holding the flyer right in front of your face

“oh my god fine” you huffed grabbing the flyer and folding it up, he did a silent cheer “but you have to find something under $50 for your parents”

“that’s fine my mom just knitted you an ugly sweater” he said laughing at the end and your mouth fell open in a shocked oh

“MY MOM KNITTED YOU AN UGLY SWEATER TOO” you yelled out happily, hoping you didn’t wake the kids

“we’re going to look so awful this christmas” johnny laughed out “this is amazing”

“i can’t believe your mom hates me that much” you laughed as well, taking a bite of toast

“what? no. she doesn’t hate you, she just loves knitting” johnny stole the toast out of your hands and took a bite but after a second he choked “wait a minute..”

“does that mean your mom hates me?” he cried out a frown gracing his face “i thought we had something special”

you shook your head in response “she doesn’t hate you she’s just pretty sure you’re an alien and she doesn’t trust you”

“yn what the fuck”

・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ ・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ . 。・

he had strategically planned this out

watching your patterns when you walked through the house

analyzing trends and odds to figure out where to put it

well actually he just placed mistletoe everywhere

obnoxious christmas music blasted through your house 

people were everywhere with mugs of eggnog and hot chocolate

his plan was perfect

and yet he couldn’t find you

“what are you doing man?” mark came up to johnny who was standing alone placing his left hand on johnny's shoulder, a mug in his other

“searching,” johnny answered immediately his eyes refusing to stop scanning the room to look at mark

mark hummed in response then took his hand away from johnny’s shoulder “wait, why?” 

“i had a perfect plan and it’s getting ruined” johnny muttered frustrated watching another couple kiss under the mistletoe he had set up for you

finally he spotted you happily talking to some friends a small smile grew on his face now that he could go through with his plan

he watched you move around the room from friend to friend beautifully smiling and laughing making his heart skip a beat

“dad,” soojin whined, tugging on his sleeve to get his attention but he didn’t break his eyes away from you

“not now soojin, daddy is plotting” he said a mischievous smile on his face

“you’re so weird” she mumbled before walking away a wave of her hand over her shoulder

it took a few minutes for mark to catch on to what was happening

“you are aware she’s your wife, and this plan is stupid, right?” mark teased

“and your opinion is unwanted” johnny responded

just when he did, your head turned to him having felt eyes on you

you met his eyes and smiled softly, waving, making his knees feel weak, still not used to your charms after all these years

as soon as you stopped talking to the guests johnny walked over to you and tried to gesture you into directions were mistletoe hung but each time you turned and went the wrong way

he didn’t know what he did wrong

he thought he planned this perfectly

but nothing was working out

you noticed johnny’s plan after the first few small pushes in the direction of the mistletoe and from that point on you tried to tease him

you saw his frustration and pout growing as well as him trying to hide his disappointment at the same time

you made sure to avoid the mistletoe the entire time

by the end of the night johnny had given up and stuck to just holding your hand sadly

together you said goodbye to the guest as the all left

mark patting johnny on the back saying a “better luck next time buddy” before leaving

johnny sighed when everyone was gone and began to walk back into the house to clean up

“hey johnny” you spoke quickly before he could walk away gaining his attention

on your tip toes you attempted to hold mistletoe that you had stolen from the walls over his head

he smiled so brightly when he saw immediately falling into a kiss with you

you couldn’t have wished for a better christmas

・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ ・。.❆.・。❅.・。❉ . 。・

#nct drabbles #nct drabble #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct christmas #nct fanfic #nct fic #nct au #johnny drabbles #johnny drabble #jonny scenarios #johnny fluff #johnny imagines #johnny fanfic #johnny fic #johnny au #nct domestic #nct dad #nct #johnny #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 fic #nct 127 imagines #christmas in july #drabbles

[fanbynature]

Obikin x AU /part 1/

Here are some additional things to know before you read the fic.

The ages of some of the characters are: Obi - 28, Rex - 26, Anakin - 23, Ahsoka - 19 going on 20, Plo/Shmi - late 40s, Qui-Gon - early 50s

The thing about the setting is this: It’s still in the SW universe, so aliens, planets and the like still exist and I am mixing it up with our reality while using some slang from SW. It’s set in a peaceful time period, so it’s just a normal living situation for them at the moment. The Jedi are going to have a place in the story but nothing too major. I hope this is not too weird.

I was hoping this to be just a one shot but I had to go and write something that is deeper than just some shag scene. I do love readin just plain NC-17 stuff but this ain’t it one. 

There are some warnings /non-healthy life choices, mention of non-con/rape, foul language, ooc - it’s an au what do you expect/

Obi-Wan is in a punk-rock band by the name of "Space Maniacs" that has been active for a few years but has not been very popular until recently. They had started to search for a better studio to record their songs because the home soundproofed garage of Ahsoka's dad, as nice as he is, does not scream "professionalism". Or at least that is what Ahsoka and Rex had been trying to sell to Obi-Wan. Honestly, he does feel apologetic towards Plo, Ahsoka's dad, for all the inconvenience they have caused even though the man had said time and time again that he feels proud of their tenacity and doesn't mind as long as they keep out of trouble.

And when Obi-Wan meets Anakin, the musician tells himself that he may start believing in God, because it's a whole ass miracle that the man comes across the band. 'Cuz if a guy that cute knows the band, is offering his very real and professionally equipped studio plus has the total hots for a certain lead singer it must be some type of miracle created by the almighty Her or that's what Ahsoka had been going on about for the past 20 minutes in the backstage area of one of Coruscant's' better known night cantinas they had just performed at. The cantina is called "Dirty Habit" and tonight they may have met somebody that will be beneficial for the future of the band. At least that is what they are all hoping for.

Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the comment that the guy has the hots for him so he settles for a snort. Even if it was true the decision of having sex with someone that could be professionally engaged with the band, won't be a wise one to make. Even if Obi-Wan found the idea of kissing those plush pink lips and to have his hands go through those dirty blond curls, tugging them enormously enchanting. The younger man would make such pretty noises for him. Fuck, no. That is a dangerous zone to enter. He won't jeopardize this chance for the band just because of a shag. Even if it's the best shag he could have in his life.

The guy, Anakin Skywalker as he introduced himself 30-40 minutes ago to the band after they had finished their set made a very tempting offer that they can hardly refuse. He offered them a fully equiped studio to use for as long as they want for 30 cred each month. The band wasn't sure whether they can trust him because that seemed like a total scam, that in the end they would be the one that have to pay an enourmous amount of money. However he explained that he and his mother have a non-profit organisation that helps rising artists who struggle to find their footing. Anakin gave them their cards and assured the band that they can check them out first on their Infocache and confirm that everuthing is legitimate. He doesn't blame them as he understands the dangers of being a rising artist and the people who try and take advantage of that. The blond also explained that he has followed the band for quite sometime now, since they were still experimenting with their sound actually and choose to first observe them and later decided to introduce them to his mother and if everything with their donors went smoothly they would help them. And here he was, speaking with them, offering them a generous amount of help.

They thanked him, understood everything but came to an agreement that they need just a little bit of time and they will contact him back with their answer.

"Honestly, Nobi, I don't understand why we just didn't agree on it on the spot. Anakin seemed genuine and proper with his cards and polite talking. And not so polite ogling."

Obi-Wan glared towards Rex and flipped him off.

"What did I tell you about that nickname? Stop using it. It's annoying. Also, we should not appear desperate. Weren't you the ones that were yapping about how we should "behave more professional-like". I was trying to not appear like I was going to suck this guy off. And I am the one who is in the wrong?"

"He didn't seem to mind. Bet he would suck you off before you get the chance to do it. Haha" the young togruta tried to whisper talk but it was loud enough for the fuming ginger to hear.

"Seriously you too? Can I get a break from the two of you?"

"Whaaaat? Come on, Obi. I know you are irked because Satine decided to end up things but you seriously can't blame her or take it out on us." Obi-Wan was contemplating the ways he could make a murder look like an accident or suicide. "Honestly, you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't know that this was coming. Like seriously, it was not going well."

Rex was watching his bandmates from the side and was sensing that things were going to either explode soon enough or their lead singer was going to storm out of the room to go get shit faced, sleep in some alleyway and get him and Ahsoka in trouble.

"Ahsoka." Both the man and the girl turned towards Rex. "I think it's time to stop with the jokes and get you home." The lead singer's eyes filled with gratitude towards the bass player and he gave Rex a little smile.

"Oh, Rex, you too. Let's have a little drink to celebrate. We deserve it. You two should stop behaving like old men. You are in your freaking 20s. Live a little."

"Rex is right. I have to go to work tomorrow morning. Get off me and prepare to go."

"That's not true. I know your schedule, it's your day off." Ahsoka scowled at Obi-Wan with disbelieve and crossed her arms in front of her. The man was trying not to snort at the display off childness of their youngest bandmate.

"Well, I decided to take a shift. The extra cash won't hurt us. Especially now that we have to pay for a studio." He smiled a little and gave Rex a knowing looking.

"So we are going to accept the help?!"

"Sure" Obi-Wan turned his gaze towards Ahsoka, gave her a bigger smile and then transformed his facial feautures into a more irritated emotion “Now let’s go because your father it’s going to kill me.” 

-----------------------------------------------

Of course, Obi-Wan didn’t have an extra shift and Ahsoka doesn’t have to know that. It’s not like he doesn’t want to get an extra shift, the thing is he can’t get one because he has the maximum available shifts his manager can give him. Other people have to work too, you kriffin menace, you know that right. Also I am going to tie you up to your bed and not allow you to do anything for a week straight if you don’t stop bugging me. Obi-Wan is slightly afraid of Cody now. He was even thinking of asking him to help in another position but he decided against it. Maybe Cody is right but that doesn’t mean that the Obi-Wan is going to listen to him. He has responsibilities and he can’t allow himself to rely on other people. Even if that was the reason him and his father have become estranged. It doesn’t matter, not anymore. He is a capable adult who does not expect other people to do his work. 

He may start to search for another job.

The ringing of the phone by the bedside brought up the troubled man back to reality. Shit, Ahsoka. Maybe he can ignore that. If he waits long enough it’s going to stop ringing. Ah, yes. Silence. Then a massage sound.

DONT IGNORE ME, KENOBI! I know.... 

Oh, for kriffing....She went to his job. Ringing again.

“Shouldn’t you be at Uni?”

“Shouldn’t you be at work? You liar. You know better than to lie to me, Obi-Wan. You should have just told me that your old bones were tired yesterday and Rex and I could have stayed and you could have gone home without lying. Also I have 1 hour brake and decided to visit your sorry ass. Know can you... ”

The older male was trying to remane calm as he knew that getting mad at the girl won’t be a sensible decision. She was right. He lied to her but she didn’t know earlier and was probably just worried that he was exhausting himself and wanted to check on him.

“Ahsoka, can you please slow down. Look, I am sorry. It was a stupid thing to do. Sorry for making you worried.”

Silence.

“If you want to...” Obi-wan started with a sigh but couldn’t finish.

“Next time just tell me the truth. I may be young and have to experience things but I am not daft....I am sorry too. For annoying you about Satine and the Skywalker guy. I was just trying to have some fun. But it was that peachy for you. I should have known better. It hasn’t been that easy for you this past year and I chose the wrong way of cheering you up.”

“When did you mature so much?” the older man was getting filled with a warm sensation in his chest. Proudness. The proudness of a big brother. Even if they weren’t related Ahsoka was close to him as any real sister he could have had.

“Tell anything to Rex and you are dead to me.” the girl warned him with an exaggarated threat in her voice.

“Hahah. I think Rex will truly appreciate the way you are starting to carry yourself, the way you think and sense the emotions in other people. He will love this side of you as much as he adores the careless, fun and cheerful side of you. Rex hasn’t been around as much as I have but his brotherly protectivness over you seems to be stronger than mine.”

“Stop it, you are making me blush.”

“It’s very much true. You know that one time-”

“So when are we going to talk with the Skywalker guy?” Ahsoka seemed to be in a rush and cut off the sentimental notion that the conversation was headed to. Obi-wan rolled his eyes. There haven’t been any time to really think about it but it has been sitting at the back of his head, constantly reminding him. The sooner he calls the better for the band. However there was this constant feeling of anxiety that was washing over him. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t tell his bandmates, they would think he is just not getting enough sleep or food. He can’t talk to Cody because he really had the chance to tell him anything about yesterday and Ahsoka was waiting for an answer now.

“How about tomorrow? If that’s alright with you Miss Ahsoka?”

“Of course, my leash. My very trustworthy Knight in armor or Jedi in robes. I don’t know. Choose one. That’s sounds fantastic. I’ll talk with Rex and come by your house after I am finished. You just go and sleep, you old man.”

“Stop calling me an old man.”

“You stop acting like one.” she said with a mocking tone and hanged up.

Oh, Force. Sometimes he wishes he has chosen a different path for his life. This one seems like it needs a restart. Hm, maybe he should have become a Jedi. What he knew from his father is that he is Force sensitive but when a young Jedi had come to speak with Qui-Gon about the future of his child he had declined the offer of giving Obi-Wan to them. They had a long conversation and had concluded that as an ex-Jedi Qui-Gon had the abilities to keep his son save and help him if there was any trouble. So in reaching an agreement of Obi-Wan’s future as a Force Sensitive kid he can say that he had a pretty normal and stable upbringing. Well, except maybe a few instances. Some of those were his own fault so he couldn’t really blame the people that came across him. He turned out quite decent in end. For the most parts.

However from the texts which he could find about the Jedi some things seemed more appealing than others but certainly they didn’t feel as they were too far way from him. He could have easily fit with the culture. But he loves music too much too give it up now. He loves Rex and Ahsoka as his own family and he doesn’t want to let them down. 

----------------------------------------------- 

3 hours later

There was a banging from somewhere outside but the drowsiness from the sleep couldn’t quite allow him to register where it came from. After a few more moments of banging and the voice of Ahsoka, Obi-Wan finally came to his senses. The door. 

He rubbed his eyes and yelled a muted “I am coming. Stop doing that. The door is going to fall.” He was still sleepy and couldn’t find his slippers so he just headed barefooted with one open eye towards the door and opened it.

“Finally. We were going to- Can, you please put something on ?” Ahsoka looked her friend up and down, unimpressed and passed by him to go inside. 

What in the blazes... His sleeping habit of undressing himself had acquired for the first time when he was hitting puberty and he couldn’t exactly explain what is what connected to. It’s probably the most embarrassing habit he could have developed, especially when the first time it happened was during summer camp with the freshers being mixed and him trying to sleepwalk to there in the early morning with his blader not allowing him to sleep. He couldn’t have predicted that there would be somebody else. He also didn’t know about the lack of clothes on him. With the years it got less frequent, thank the Force.

“We brought food and a holofilm. It’s the crime-suspense one we have been wanting to watch.” Rex tried to hide his smile and not to comment that his friend hasn’t been able to outgrow his adolescent habit. It’s not like everyone can train their brains to do what you want them to do, damn it, Rex.

“Did you come here straight from Uni?” Obi-Wan was trying to speak to the younger girl while she was putting the popcorns in the nanowave and just not staying in one place. He had two rooms + fresher and a balcony. How much more she can move?

“Sure. Why?” she moved to the balcony taking a pack of cigarettes. Obi-wan took the whole pack out of her hands and threw them to Rex. “Hey, come on”

“Not good for you.”

“Look who’s talking. Blondie, pass them back.” 

“I ain’t getting into the middle of that. I am just minding my own business, thank you very much.” 

“Chicken” Ahsoka puffed her cheeks out, signed and put her hands on the balcony’s metal barrier. 

“You should spend more time at home. I thought you stopped being a bratty rebel who didn’t like her dad that much with no reason.” 

“I did. And I do. I do spend time at home I mean.” A few beats pass by them, looking to the Coruscant’s landscape, basking in the noises of the city and background noises of Rex doing something in the kitchen. Ahsoka straightens up and turns around towards her friend, looking at the ground, playing with something in her hand. “I love my dad, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes there comes a time when you just feel like you have to split from each other and live alone.” A few more beats pass by “You understand better than anybody I know.”

“Of course I won’t judge you if you want to live separately from your father if that’s what you mean. I do hope you talk to him first and not just run away.”

“Absolutely. I am not that irresponsible, not anymore. I am sure he will miss me and it would be much harder for him than it is for me. I just need this at this point in my life.”

“I am sure he will understand. He is going to absolutely throw you “a goodbye party”. Or more likely “get home sooner” one.”

“Oh, Siths. Please don’t make me imagine this. It just sounds embarrassing.”

“Rex is totally going to get everything filmed.”

“I already know that I am going to kill him.”

Both of them laughed at the ridiculous situation. Obi-Wan placed his hand on the younger girl’s should in a reassuring manner. 

“Whatever you decide to do I am here for you one hundred and ten percent of the way.”

The togruta smiled at him and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks, big bro”

“Oi, the sappy bunch, are we going to watch a movie or what?”

The other two rolled their eyes and returned back inside. While the two were chatting outside Rex had set the snacks and drinks on the coffee table and prepared the film for just pressing the play button. 

“Hey, look what we’ve got here. Can you believe, Obi. Our bassist is good at more things than just looking good, playing the bass and getting us a free drink.”

“He is sometimes good at repairing stuff. You gotta give him that.”

“Oh, yeah for sure.” the other two snickered while the blonde was flipping them off.

“Haha, you guys. You are a golden comedy duo. Can we now just watch the damn film? “

“Absolutely”

Halfway into the movie, Ahsoka fell asleep and the guys let her sleep on the bed and called Plo so he won’t worry about his daughter being kidnapped or something else. He told them that he could come to pick her up so it won’t be trouble for Obi-Wan but the younger man reassured him that it was no problem at all.

“So we are calling the Skywalker guy?”

“That is what you want, guys, right? I am not making that decision just on my own and just presuming your opinions.”

“Yeah, it is.’

“Then it’s decided.”

The two men were sitting on the floor cross-legged, drinking whatever was left from the things Rex and Ahsoka brought. 

“Do you want something stronger? “

“What do you have in mind?”

 “Cheedon whiskey. You know that is not my usual preference but someone who I used to fuck from time to time gave it to me recently as a gift for our good times. Amusingly he was there when Satine and I, well Satine to be precise broke things off. “ The ginger was pouring the drinks while talking and his bandmate was watching him cautiously .”But this is a great drink. Let’s drink to our future success. Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Rex watched his friend enjoying the brown beverage going down his throat and then looked at his own and sipped a little. Making a face because of the burning sensation of the drink. It had good after taste but Rex is definitely not the biggest fan of this type of liquor. He prefers his beer.

“How are things with after Satine? I mean I know you don’t like sharing the hard stuff with us, especially me. You sometimes talk to Ahsoka but you haven’t said anything. What I am getting at is that I am worried. We are worried, with Ahsoka. And we want to know if everything is really fine.”

Obi-Wan knew that Rex didn’t like initiating conversations with serious topics. He was usually there when you needed him, he doesn’t ask you a question, just stays with you until he knows you are ready to tell him what’s wrong. And Obi-Wan could sense the uncomfortableness in Rex’s everything. The older male greatly appreciated what his friend was doing for him and he didn’t want to just blow him off. He knew that it took strength to do something you don’t enjoy doing.

“I can’t blame her. As much as I want to say it was both of our fault. It was mine. I just wish she could have done it sooner for her own good. I was too much of a coward to leave her. I stayed with her just because I was used to it, but I didn’t really feel the way I felt before and it wasn’t fair to her. And that not being the worst part. Now cheating is what an immoral person does.”

“You know that wasn’t the full story.”

“Wasn’t it? I remember it differently.” Obi-Wan was pouring his third drink now and Rex was thinking of hiding the bottle. Or plain pouring it out into the sink.

“You don’t remember half the night. That is the problem. You are trying to take the full blame for something you weren’t even half-conscious to do.”

“But I was conscious enough to kriffing get it up and stick it up into a guy’s ass. Wasn’t I, Rex?” The ginger was trying no to raise his voice so he won’t wake up Ahsoka but he was having a hard time. He stood up, cursing under his breath, took his cigarettes and went to the balcony. 

Rex was blaming himself for even raising the question. He knew better than that. Why did he even try to get something out of the older? He never wins with him. His brother is better than him with that. Dealing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kriffing Siths. He begrudgingly went to the balcony’s door frame and stood there. Shifting his eyes between Coruscant’s view and his friend’s back. 

“Look, I know it doesn’t matter what I say, you are going to continue putting the full blame on yourself, but just know that. I am on your side. I will call you out when it needs to be done. But not when you don’t deserve it.”

“I wanted it, you know that Rex. I told you. You were there.”

“You were drunk. He wasn’t.”

Obi-Wan turned around with glistening eyes. Tears. 

“I said yes, Rex. I said it. I would-I would have said it even if I was sober, Rex. I know it. I do. I just-” the older male dropped to his knees. Putting out his cigarette and hanging his arms to the side.”I am just-just not sure anymore.” 

He looked up to Rex, with his cheeks already wet from the streaming tears. The blonde crouched down and hugged his friend. They stayed that like for a few minutes and Obi-wan spoke again, with a hushed voice.

“I think I am just trying to convince myself at this point. Not trying to fall apart. I can’t do it. If I fall apart I have to tell her. She can’t know, Rex. She’ll blame herself that she didn’t let me speak. It’s better that way.”

Rex pulled away from Obi-wan and sat on the floor across him, looking at his friend.

“You are kriffing idiot you know that. How is that better? Who is it better for exactly? Not you, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t say anything, Rex. Please. Not even to Ahsoka.”

Rex was wondering really hard how he could just prevent his friend from harming himself further than he already has. 

“I am not the person that is going to tell you how to live your life and what choices you have to make. That is your job. But I am the person who is going to be next to you until you want the help you need. Ahsoka and I are going to be here. Cody too. He cares for you too, even if he has “the though love makes you stronger logic”. Rex paused for a moment and continued “Your father will always be there for you too. Well, at least until you know. Nevermind.” He dies Rex thought.”Maybe things with Satine won’t be the same but they don’t have to be. The important thing is that you feel better.”

Obi-wan stopped crying and he was sniffling softly. Trying to get his composure back. He didn’t like showing his vulnerability. Even to his friends. He would start to think of himself as a burden but wanted to stop it.

“I don’t think I am ready yet Rex. I don’t think I am able to face it.”

“Look that is perfectly alright. As long as you don’t try and deal with it alone in an unhealthy way. We are here for you, okay.”

The only thing the ginger could manage as a response was a weak nod. He searched for his cigarettes and popped one his mouth. Rex picked up the conversation again.

“Truly the pot calling the kettle black.” he laughed a little to his friend’s earlier hypocrisy to Ahsoka. The older male looked at him confused.

“Huh? Oh, that. You know that I have tried to quit several times with no positive outcome.” He lit his cigarette and let out a blow of smoke.”It’s truly something I’ll never be able to fix.”

“Whatever you say, Nobi, whatever you say. Do you want me to stay more because the public transport will soon stop and the prices of the hovercabs are going up.”

“Nah, go. I am going to fine.”

“Call me when you get a word from Skywalker.”

‘Absolutely.”

----------------------------------------------- 

The next day came faster than he expected with the bustling city noises waking him up. He forgot to close the door to the balcony last night. He remembered dragging himself from the outside, laying down his futon and just laying down. Now he had a duvet, which he didn’t remember getting. Ahsoka. She is still sleeping. He realised it’s still early as Ahsoka haven’t gotten up and she usually doesn’t have classes until late morning or early noon. He wasn’t sleepy, which meant his day will be longer and that annoyed him to no limit. He grunted and pulled the duvet over his head.

“Can you please just let me sleep for one more hour? Your grinding teeth are really kriffing annoying you know that. I think you should really go and let a doctor check you out. You have too much sleeping habits. It’s not healthy.”

“I just woke up and you are already annoying me.”

A small heart-shaped pillow flew over his head almost hit him in the face.

“You missed.”

A creak from his bed followed by footsteps on the wooden floor. His eyes were closed so he did not anticipate a soft yet hard hit on the face by a larger pillow.

“I think not. Ugh, now I am woken up. Make us some coffee. You are the host. Be one.”

“Half of my wardrobe is filled with your clothes plus a couple of your shoes. I think you can make your own coffee.”

“You are unbelievable.”

A small scratching noise was coming from the window outside followed by a meow. Ahsoka’s head snapped towards the noise and she went to check it out. There was a middle-sized loth-cat. The cat’s whole body was white except a patch of brown on top of each eye. Which was now meowing in Ahsoka’s feet, not knowing if it could do anything else

“Did you get a loth cat and not tell me?”

“She’s not mine. She just came one day and I started feeding her. She comes from time to time and I give her food when I am here. She seems like she’s domesticized. She had a collar when she first came but not anymore. Didn’t have a tag or anything like that.”

The togruta had already started making noises at the animal and petting her. Obi-Wan got up, when to the kitchen and took out a packet from the cupboard under the sink. He passed the girl with the cat in her lap, went on the balcony and poured the food into a green plastic bowl. The cat run next to him and started eating. He petted her for a bit and stoop up.

“Okay then. I think it’s time you get ready for Uni and I am going to make us breakfast and then I am going talk to Anakin.”

“Okay, boss. Oh, there is something else I want to talk to you about.’

“Sure. What is it?”

“Um, I have actually started to look into some places where I can move to live. As you know I received some loan and grants before I entered Uni so I have some money saved and can live for a while on those. But I was wondering if you could still help me with checking out when I pick a place if it’s legit or not. You have some experience so I think it would help me greatly.”

“Yeah, yeah. No problem.”

“Okay, I have more to tell you but I am going to shower first.”

The ginger laughed to himself and returned his attention to the breakfast. He hasn’t cooked for himself in a while. Running on coffee and cereal lately hasn’t been that great on his health but work kept him from making healthy choices. Okay, he kept himself from making healthy choices. A soft meow interrupted his inner monologue and his attention shifted towards the small creature which was halfway inside halfway out. 

“Oh, water. I forgot. What an idiot.” 

He filled an empty jar with water and went outside to put it into another plastic bowl but this one was blue. 

“Here, little one. Enjoy.”

The man smiled slightly and petted the cat softly again, trying not to disturb it, then he returned inside and went to finish making the food. While the man was occupied with his furry friend the shower noise had stopped and minutes after that the young togruta came out surrounded by fog.

“You should be thankful I don’t ask you for money for the electric bill. Half of it it’s yours. Doesn’t your skin melt off or something. “

“No, Mr Freeze who would probably shower in ice cube bath. I don’t have your endurance. “

“I could say the same to you.” Obi-Wan sent his most mature response - sticking his tongue out which was returned by Ahsoka with twice the emotion. 

“What else are you going to tell me.”

The togruta got closer to the kitchen counter and started making coffee for both of them

“Oh. I asked Cody if he can help me with a job in like a month or two. And he said that he won’t be needing any additional staff for the near future but he said he can speak with some friends of his that are in the business and will let me know if something comes up. ”

“That’s great. I am so glad for you.” Obi-Wan set everything on the table, while Ahsoka put some background music to enjoy while they were eating. 

-----------------------------------------------

#obikin #obi wan kenobi #obi wan #anakin skywalker #anakin #obi wan x anakin #ahsoka tano #rex #cody #plo koon #shmi skywalker #qui gon jinn #qui gon #star wars #sw #fanfic #fanfiction #starwars #au #alternative universe #band au #as always i just had a concept and one scene in mind #and had to wwrite around those things

[timetrickster]

Living W/ Immortality: Episode 1: I Have No Fucking Clue.

FADE IN:

EXT. STREET. DAY

NARRATOR (V.O)

Once upon a time, well fuck it this isn’t your average story. This story is every bit of complicated. The author has no clue whatsoever on how he puts this story together. I’ll just sit back and let the story tell itself and jump in whenever I feel like it. We start this story off… with a dog, a girl, and a two-faced immortal teen.

It’s a normal day, the sun is shining and the skies are clear. A boy with his backpack in hand leaves school and begins his walk home. Everything was going fine until a girl’s pet dog runs away from her.

RANDOM GIRL

Sparky! Get back here!

The girl gives chase over her dog. Managing to run faster than her owner. The dog passes FINN, which makes FINN stops in his track. He watches in silence and concern as the dog runs away. The girl rushes by FINN as well and shouts.

RANDOM GIRL

Sparky! Stop!

The girl runs after her dog again. FINN begins to feel increasingly concerned. He turns around and begins to talk to himself. FINN sighs. Another voice speaks and echoes to him.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE (ERIN)(V.O)

Its someone’s dog dude. She’ll be devastated if it died.

FINN

I’m tired. School was a drag.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE (ERIN)(V.O)

You know we can’t let a poor, innocent dog die. You both know we love dogs.

FINN turns around to and sees the dog still running from his owner. He sighs and puts his headphones on.

FINN

I hate it when you’re right.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE (ERIN)(V.O)

That. And the fact that we know each other too well.

FINN drops his bag on the sidewalk and pulls out his headphones from his bag then his phone from his pocket.

FINN

Erin?

ERIN (V.O)

Yo?

FINN

Music preference? 50s? 60s? 70s? 80s? Or 90s?

ERIN (V.O)

70s.

FINN

1973?

ERIN (V.O)

Yup.

FINN

Elton John?

ERIN (V.O)

Crocodile Rock.

FINN smiles.

FINN

Nice choice.

FINN puts on his headphones and presses the play button on his phone. The song “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John. He begins to slowly walk then begins to speed walk. He starts to run faster and faster.

He manages to pass the girl who was out of breath after chasing her dog for so long. Close near the dog, FINN still on the sidewalk jumps over a parked car. He attempts to grab the dog but slips on a rock and fails to grab him in time. He slides on the road for a few seconds.

FINN

Ow.

He gets up wiping away the dirt of the road off his clothes and wipes the right side of his cheek.

(Camera shows a huge spot of blood on his right hand he then clutches his hand to cover the blood.)

(Camera shows a huge scrape on his cheek, it heals instantly heals.)

FINN

Quick little bastard.

FINN smiles and starts running again. In the distance, an incoming car drives in. Which the mysterious voice notices.

ERIN (V.O)

Finn! There’s a car coming!

FINN

Shit!

(He stops all of sudden.)

FINN blinks and his eyes see a clear view of the driver. The driver is distracted because he’s on his phone.

FINN

He’s on his phone so he won’t notice anything.

FINN starts to run again. The dog eventually runs into the street and without warning an oncoming car approaches.

FINN

Dammit!

The girl had finally regained some breath and sees Finn running after her dog. She then noticed the car. Making her shocked and worried he wouldn’t be able to make it in time.

FINN

He’s too close. I have to take the hit for the dog.

ERIN (V.O)

Dude… I think the girl saw you, we have to use our powers without drawing their attention.

FINN

Fuck! We keep going!

The car is close by, the driver doesn’t notice the dog until the very last minute. He steps on the brake as soon as he instantly sees the dog. The driver had closed his eyes to save himself from the horror. The girl calls out her dog’s name one last time.

RANDOM GIRL

Sparky!

She closes her eyes as well. FINN had finally reached the dog and picks him up. Mere seconds from being hit by the car. He says one last remark.

FINN

Fuck.

He turns around quickly to shield the dog from the impact. The car hits FINN sending him a few feet away. On the ground, he landed face first. “Crocodile Rock” stops playing.

(Camera shows more scraps on his face but it heals instantly as he wakes up suddenly)

He turns on his back groaning in pain. He looks at the dog with this annoyed and who is safe in his arms.

FINN

You are so lucky I chose to save you.

The dog licks his face as a form of thank you.

FINN

You’re welcome.

(FINN smiles while his face is licked.)

The girl and the driver had closed their eyes from what they would soon see would be a dog splattered everywhere. Once hearing the thud, they opened their eyes only to find a FINN holding the dog safe and sound. Without a word, he stands up and gives an awkward smile. Both the girl and the driver rush toward FINN.

ERIN (V.O)

Remember to fake your injuries.

FINN nods and gets up while pretending to be hurt. Standing up with somewhat of a limp and cracking his neck.

FINN

Ow. Ow. Ow.

(He says repeatedly as he gets up)

The driver gets out of his car to check on FINN as well as the girl.

DRIVER

Oh my god! Are you okay?

FINN nods “yes” in response.

RANDOM GIRL

You saved my dog from getting hit. Thank you! But are you okay?!

DRIVER

Yeah, kid, you took a pretty hard hit from my car. Something’s got to be broken, bruised, or scratched.

FINN

It’s fine, I heal pretty fast…  Don’t worry, about it.

RANDOM GIRL

You should at least go to the hospital.

FINN

It’s alright. My mom’s a nurse, she knows what to do.

FINN hands the dog back to the girl. Leaving them confused. He walks away with his fake limping and gets back to his backpack. (The camera facing FINN from the front) He hides behind a car and unzips his jacket revealing a bloodstained shirt.

FINN

Oh yeah. Something broke. Crap. My favorite shirt.

ERIN

Quit your whining dumbass. It’s just a shirt. Let’s go home now.

FINN

I hate you. You know that right?

ERIN

Heard it over a hundred times.

He looks at it for a bit and ignores it. He zips his jacket back up and grabs his bag. He continues to go on his way. FINN groans in annoyance.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Note to self, “Add music in this story.”

FINN (V.O)

When you have supernatural powers, the impossible becomes possible.  My name is Finn Evers and I have immortal superpowers. Seventeen years ago, an ordinary couple gave birth to a not so ordinary baby boy.

(Camera shows FINN as he walks home)

NARRATOR (V.O)

Wait… how the fuck?! Who gave this kid narrating powers?!

Shows flashback showing a baby FINN in a crib with his parents looking from above.

FLASHBACKS TO FINN’S CHILDHOOD.

FINN (V.O)

My intelligence had increased quickly when I was 15 days old. Also, I began to talk.

Baby FINN begins to say words to his parents.

FINN (Baby)

Mom! Dad! I’m hungry!

MOM & DAD look at their child as he spoke his first sentence at 15 days old.

NARRATOR (V.O)

This is my job! I’m supposed to be telling the story!

FINN (V.O)

Soon afterward, I started walking at 1 month old.

Baby FINN starts walking on his own.

FINN (V.O)

And at 1 year old, I punched my dad in the face for the first time.

Baby FINN clenching a fist while his DAD is knocked out on the ground. DAD groaning in pain.

NARRATOR (V.O)

THE FUCKIN AUTHOR! Really?! You write me one job to do and you replace me with the main character?!

FINN (V.O)

Eventually, when I reached elementary I used my power recklessly. The playground was the throne of every kindergarten class. I fought my way to the top with my powers. I eventually got the spotlight on me and it took a while for things to die down.

Shows flashback of toddler FINN with a paper crown on his head. Standing at the top of the playground like a king.

CUTS TO:

BACK TO FINN STILL WALKING.

FINN (V.O)

After a year of all that, my parents thought I was just a super strong and smart boy. My parents are pretty weird themselves so they accepted my powers without worry. That was until the day of the accident. I don’t really like talking about it… but it’s how I learned I was immortal. It was enough trauma to create Erin, the alternate personality who exists in my head.  

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

So time rolled on, I became the person you see now, a high school student. As you saw with the dog, I still have my powers. I can heal fast like any immortal, and my body is supernaturally conditioned. My life is a dream come true. That is what you’re thinking right?

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

Well, let me tell you the truth. Healing fast only gets my clothes stained by blood and being immensely strong just breaks anything around me. He’s the happiest boy alive, that boy has everything! Well, you’re dead wrong! I’m the un-happiest boy alive! A boy who has nothing!

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

Regenerative Healing, Immunity, Enhanced Senses and Condition, Accelerated Probability, Semi-telepathy, etcetera etcetera. I can do all those things, but having powers like that takes away something away. Like when a parent spoils their child and fails to be a fully functioning adult.

Shows different scenes of him using his different abilities.

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

In this way, my immortality has taken away certain things for me. My sense of being normal, the sensation of feeling pain. Me caring about my own life, hard work. It’s all so foreign to me. It’s true that I never get angry or sad about it’s just that I don’t feel any happiness or thrill in my life. But to look on the bright side, less drama will mean things will be peaceful for me.

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

Although with the existence of Erin in my head. we’re constantly at odds. He’s like my brother but he’s always there in the back of my head to annoy me.

FINN (V.O) (CONT’D)

For me, these powers took away my sense of being normal. Being a god in a sense is everything I don’t want to be. At the end living forever just means I get to see everyone I love die. I’m the unhappiest boy alive because I do get to live forever.

ERIN takes over the voice over.

ERIN (V.O)

Since Finn did his introduction, it’s my turn I guess.

NARRATOR (V.O) Really? They gave narrating powers to the asshole in his head?!

ERIN (V.O)

My name is Erin Nitty and I have immortal superpowers too. One day a kid had got into an accident and thus I was born. Surprisingly when I was created, his immortal powers affected me too. I was born as a 5-year-old and I grew with him.

ERIN (V.O) (CONT’D)

Eventually, as our powers grew, we managed to figure out some things I was capable of doing. I was able to physically take over his body.

ERIN (V.O) (CONT’D)

We’re in our teen years now and I got to say. We hate each other’s guts, just like every other sibling. I get so annoyed by this idiot every time we’re in a situation. We’re alike but he doesn’t listen to shit when I’m helping him out.

ERIN (V.O) (CONT’D)

But one of the few things we agree on are these powers. Living forever, being a god and all that. It’s not really the happy life, ya know? Like what the moron said, I’m unhappy because I do get to live forever.

FINN/ERIN finally returns home after that ordeal with the dog.  

FINN

Mom! We’re home!

He goes to his room and sets his backpack down. He takes off his shirt and looks at the blood stain. He looks over to a pile of shirts also stained with blood.

ERIN (V.O)

Mom’s gonna kill you. You know she hates having to wash your blood stained shirts right?

FINN sighs.

FINN

I know she does. Frankly, I hate it when she does have to wash them. You know she’s scared whenever she sees them.

ERIN (V.O)

What’s she scared about?

FINN

That one day, we might die and never come home.

Silence fills the room as both ERIN and FINN contemplate the thought.

ERIN

That’s never going to happen.

FINN

I hope it never does.

FINN crushes the shirt and grabbed the pile of other stained shirts and brings them to the washing machine. He returns to his room and takes a nap until it reaches night time. It’s now dinner time and both FINN’S parents are home.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Oh boy, the parents. There an odd couple… like a couple from a Japanese anime… but somehow and for some reason, they were chosen to raise a reincarnated immortal.

MOM

Finn! Time for dinner!

He wakes up tired and groggy, he puts on a shirt and comes downstairs to the dinner table.

FINN

Hi momma.

MOM

Hi sweetie.

Dinner is all set, hot and ready then DAD comes home and joins them.

FINN

Hi dad.

DAD

Hey son. Honey…

DAD sits down on the dinner table. MOM doesn’t say a word, only showing a scowling face toward DAD. FINN looked at both his parents knowing there’s a fight going to ensue.

FINN (V.O)

These are our parents. Dad is a hard worker but he tends to get on my nerves. Mom is a loving and caring soul.

MOM & DAD start a fight and it escalates to yelling. FINN sits down unphased and seemingly just annoyed with the fighting.

FINN (V.O)

They used to be so passionate about each other. I wonder what happened to set them both off.

DAD

I hate you so much!

MOM

My hate for you is bigger than the ocean!

MOM & DAD fighting in the background, while FINN is eating on his own.

FINN (V.O)

They’re still passionate… just in a different way.

They’ve been going at each other like this for half a year now.

DAD

Hey, son. Can you please use your powers to help daddy?

MOM holds FINN’S hand and looks at him with a loving face.

MOM

Finn, remember what I said, Never use your powers for evil. Only help those in need.

FINN (V.O)

Mom’s loving and a caring soul is the reason that I don’t recklessly use my powers or use them for evil.

MOM

But please feel free to hurt your daddy for mommy right now.

FINN (V.O)

Also, she has a dark side herself, which scares me a lot…

MOM & DAD return to their fight and it escalates to throwing things around and being more physical.

FINN (V.O)

Don’t be fooled by this, their fights are pointless. Why, do I say it’s pointless? This is why.

FINN’S pupils glow a blue tinge.

MOM

I hate you!

MOM (V.O)

That’s not true! I love you very much!

MOM’S thought echoes in the back of her head.

DAD

I don’t want anything to do with you!

DAD (V.O)

That’s a lie, I love you too much to say that!

DAD’S thought echoes in the back of his head. FINN finally intervenes due to annoyance. MOM recklessly decided to throw a knife, which FINN catches the knife stabs into his hand. Both MOM & DAD are shocked by what just happened. FINN is unphased due to his abilities.

FINN

(sighs)

FINN pulls out the knife and his wound instantly heals. He puts the knife on the table and looks at both his parents with an angry face. His eyes glow the blue tinge.

MOM & DAD (V.O)

I love you.

Both MOM & DAD’S faces become shocked by what they heard.

DAD

Did you say you love me?

MOM

No, you said it.

(V.O)

Did he hear me say I love him?

DAD (V.O)

Did she really hear me say I love her?

FINN (V.O)

If you’re wondering what’s happening, I linked their minds together. It’s an application of my power called Immortal Cloning. I could transport my mind into a clone of myself or in an object or someone lacking a soul. It also gave me a form of telepathy.

NARRATOR(V.O)

Not gonna lie, this scene is pretty funny.

Both realizing FINN had something to do with it. They turn toward him.

MOM & DAD

Finn!

Still sitting at the dinner table, FINN turns his head to his parents and smiles like he’s innocent.

FINN

Yes?

DAD

Why do I hear your mom’s thoughts?

FINN

I used telepathy to link both your minds…

DAD’S face lit up in shock.

DAD

When did you develop telepathy?!

FINN

Growing up led to new abilities… and telepathy happened since… uh, age 10?

MOM

TURN IT OFF RIGHT NOW! I DON’T WANT YOUR FATHER TO KNOW I STILL LOVE HIM!

(She shouts)

DAD

You still love me?

MOM

Do you love me?

They instantly hug and make up from their fight.

ERIN (V.O)

Good grief, it took them that long to settle things? Jesus Christ.

FINN(V.O)

I know, our parents are weird.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Very weird indeed.

FINN (V.O)

Did you say something?

ERIN (V.O)

No, why?

FINN (V.O)

I swear I heard another voice… Just forget it.

FINN smiles at the sight that his parent’s made up.

FINN

Finally. I can go back to dinner in peace.

MOM

Let’s celebrate with some ice cream!

FINN was about to dig in his dessert being it was his favorite flavor of ice cream, Cookies, and Rocky Road Cream. MOM grabs the ice cream from his grip and two spoons.

FINN (V.O)

MY ICE CREAM?!

FINN smiles like a crazy person. Then looks at both his parents eating his ice cream.

ERIN (V.O)

Oh shit.

FINN’S eyes burn with fire red.

CUT TO:

NEXT DAY. - DAY.

FINN walks into his school and goes to his first class of the day. He enters his classroom and sits at his desk, waiting for class to begin.

FINN (V.O)

Welcome to my high school, Campbell High. It’s not much but in my class over a 1,000 students are in attendance that roams the grounds of the school.

Two classmates sit next to FINN.  

CLASSMATE 1

Hey Finn!

FINN is silent and simply replies with a nod.

CLASSMATE 2

Hey buddies!

FINN (V.O)

These are my friends Athena and Taven, or at least they consider me as their friend. I try my best to distance myself from having any friends. But somehow it’s like they’re attracted to me somehow.

TAVEN

What did you guys do over the weekend?

FINN

Played a new game… some guy named Crank killed me with a sword.

ATHENA

I just listened to music all day and went to the beach.

FINN

I got hit by a car when I was going home on Friday.

FINN (V.O)

To be perfectly honest, they’re actually great friends. They’re just difficult to be around because… they have interesting personalities.

TAVEN & ATHENA

Are you okay?! What happened?!

FINN

I’m fine. I’m fine don’t worry. I saved a dog too from being hit by the car.

TAVEN

Damn, dude. Hope you feel better.

KEN looks toward FINN but he is missing from his seat.

TAVEN

Finn? Where’d he go?

CUT TO:

BOYS BATHROOM.

FINN (V.O)

As much as I have tolerance for the two of them. I was tired of talking about it.

FINN (V.O)(cont’d)

It’s not that I hate Taven it’s just he always tends to get me into situations that I don’t want to be in. There was that one time he could got me into a competition for arm wrestling and I hated every second of it. But I am competitive and immensely strong so I won that competition. He also gives me anxiety and stress.

FINN (V.O) (cont’d)

Athena’s actually pretty fine… but she does ask me for snacks constantly and usually doesn’t pay me back. She’s a good friend but I’ve lost a lot of money over simple snacks.

ERIN (V.O)

(sighs)

It’s gonna be a long day again isn’t it?

FINN

Yup.

FINN walks out of the bathroom. A montage of going through classes begin. Looking tired and falling asleep. The day goes by fast and FINN manages to make it through the school.

FINN walks out of his last class of the day. He looks tired and like something died inside.

FINN

Fuck I’m tired… I want to die so bad.

ERIN (V.O)

Well, unfortunately, we can’t.

FINN

God that teacher just talks forever and ever.

ERIN (V.O)

She keeps picking me to answer a fuckin question I don’t even know! PICK SOMEONE ELSE GODDAMMIT! She also keeps talking like she’s saying a code or a riddle. Some shit like that.

FINN

Don’t get me started on Taven! We had to do the jeopardy competition and he kept rushing me to find the answers!

FINN holds his face with both hands and rubs away the tiredness. He begins to walk toward the stairs but there are a bunch of students blocking the entrance.

FINN

Fuck there’s too many people walking down the stairs.

ERIN (V.O)

Jump off the second floor then.

FINN

You’re right!

ERIN (V.O)

What?

FINN

I’m gonna jump off the second floor.

ERIN (V.O)

I was kidding. Please don’t.

FINN looks around the corner of the hallway and runs then jumps off the second floor of the building. He lands on his feet.  

FINN

(Breaths in and out)

Suckers.

He blinks for a second as he starts his walk but then bumps into a girl. Instantly embarrassed by this, he apologizes immediately.

FINN

I am so sorry, are you okay?

GIRL

Yeah, I’m fine, thank you.

The GIRL turns around to see FINN and he recognizes her.

FINN

No… friggin way. Serena?!

SERENA

Finn?!

Unable to say another word, FINN hugs her instantly. SERENA accepts the hug without worry. FINN is seemingly different when seeing SERENA. He’s not annoyed by her presence.

NARRATOR (V.O)

Interesting, a love story…  

FINN

I haven’t seen you in so long! Where’ve you been?! It’s been like friggin years, dude!

SERENA

You know dude, moved around here and there but my family decided to move back to Hawaii. It’s home ya know? Anyways how’ve you been?! I haven’t seen my best friend in years!

FINN

I’ve been good… if that’s the word to describe it. Nothing much interesting happened in my life so far.

ERIN (V.O)

I missed her too.

SERENA

That’s good to hear, but you haven’t done anything interesting?

FINN

Ever since you’ve been gone, I just kinda stopped doing anything.

SERENA

Aw, that’s cute, you waited for me.

FINN’S face blushed for a bit and he smiles.

FINN

I guess I did wait for you to come back. Yeah.

(Laughs a little)

SERENA laughs at the remark and smiles too.

SERENA

Well, since I’m home, we can hang out again. So that way you can start doing things again.

FINN laughs and nods,

FINN

Agreed. Pinky promise?

He holds out his pinky and she smiles and makes the pinky promise official.

SERENA

Pinky promise.

(She smiles)

SERENA (cont’d)

You haven’t changed at all, have you?

FINN

Never.

(He smiles)

Want to walk home together?

SERENA

I’d love that. Let’s go.

FINN & SERENA are walking down the street from the school. They begin to talk about recent events.

SERENA

You saved a dog?!

(She is shocked)

FINN

Yup.

SERENA

And you got hit by the car that was about to hit the dog? How are you even alive?

FINN

I… uh… I heal very fast.

(He laughs)

NARRATOR (V.O)

Ugh, boring… hm, let’s add some flair to this act. AND… Snap!

Suddenly a gang of punk boys shows up around the corner. They looked straight out of the movie Grease for some reason. But they looked like a bunch of a-holes.

FINN (V.O)

Anything happens to you on the while you’re on the mainland?

SERENA

I met a Flat Earther… dude was friggin weird. Went to a concert for Punchbowl Punk… you know that band right? There from Hawaii.

FINN

I don’t think I ever heard of them before but I will definitely look them up. Thanks for that, I love looking up new music to listen too.

SERENA

Uh, what else… I met a girl who apparently has a talking cat.

PUNK LEADER

Howzit!

FINN & SERENA had noticed them, FINN waves hello and they keep walking.

FINN

Oh, speaking of music. Ya got earphones?

SERENA pulls out earphones from her pocket. FINN plugs in the audio jack and gives one earphone to SERENA. The song “Just The Two Of Us” by Grover Washington Jr. begins to play in the earphones.

FINN smiles and bobs his head along to the musical intro. SERENA smiles too at FINN. He starts to sing along.

FINN

I see the crystal raindrops fall and the beauty of it all. Is when the sun comes shining through. To make those rainbows in my mind. When I think of you some time. I wanna spend some time with you.

SERENA

You’re adorable.

The statement makes FINN blushes a bit. But starts to dance to the song. Which SERENA proceeds to dance along.

NARRATOR (V.O)

As much as I hate to interrupt a good song and people having a good time. It’s time I ruined this and start the problem.

Song still plays in the background and FINN & SERENA are still dancing along.

NARRATOR (V.O) (cont’d)

Psst. White guy!

PUNK LEADER

God?

LUCIAN/NARRATOR (V.O)

Sorry, not him. Different guy. My name’s Lucian by the way. I need you to throw a rock at that kid’s head. The one that just passed by you.

PUNK LEADER

That’s not cool, Luci dude. Plus I don’t take orders from a disembodied voice… unless his name is God.

LUCIAN/NARRATOR (V.O)

He said your jacket looks stupid.

PUNK LEADER

I WILL ANNIHILATE HIM!

The PUNK LEADER picks up a small rock and throws it at the back of FINN’S head. Instantly hitting him, he feels the hit and holds where the pain is. The song stops at the end of the 2nd Refrain. ERIN boils in anger and takes over FINN’S body. ERIN turns around toward the punks.

His eyes change from green to purple and a streak of jet black hair appears which SERENA doesn’t notice.

LUCIAN/NARRATOR (V.O)

Three. Two. One.

ERIN

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

The song stops playing

PUNK LEADER

You called my jacket stupid!

ERIN

What!?

PUNK LEADER

No one calls my jacket stupid!

ERIN

So you thought to throw a rock at me?! I wasn’t thinking that before, but now that I’m looking at it. It’s being worn by a jackass.

PUNK LEADER

No one insults me and gets away with it.

LUCIAN/NARRATOR (V.O)

Now add some music… hm, what song though? Got it! Snap!

ERIN looks at his phone and takes out the earphones. He put the phone to max volume and presses the play button. He sets it down on a nearby wall. The song “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry plays. Easily tempered, ERIN snaps and starts the fight.

He rushes toward the PUNK LEADER grabbing him by his shirt and shoves him against a wall. The other punks decide to jump in and help out their PUNK LEADER. SERENA watches as the fight ensues, worried that her friend might get hurt. She attempts to call the police.

NARRATOR (V.O)

God, I love a good fight.

One of the punks goes after her, which FINN notices and it angers both him and ERIN. He shakes off the four punks trying to pull him off their leader. He rushes toward the punk that goes after SERENA. She manages to hold her own and gets a few punches in.

ERIN

Dope.

ERIN smiles at the fact but is attacked again by the punks. He starts up another fight. ERIN & FINN work together to beat each one.

FINN (V.O)

Okay, five jackasses. This should be easy for you.

ERIN (V.O)

Yup.

ERIN rushes at them all at once, managing to shove another PUNK 1 into a wall. PUNK 2 having a garrote wire chokes him to pulls him back. While being choked he jump kicks PUNK 1 knocking him out. Falling to the ground, he gets kicked repeatedly by PUNK 2. Grabbing his foot, he punches his leg repeatedly until a bone had broke.

PUNK 2 falls to the ground in pain. PUNK 3 had a baseball bat in hand all of sudden.

ERIN

Okay… where the hell did you get that?

PUNK 3 doesn’t answer and immediately swings it. Which ERIN grabs before being hit in the face. ERIN grabs the bat and hits his stomach with the knob. ERIN looks at PUNK 4. Afraid, he holds his hands up.

PUNK 4

I don’t know why I hang around with them. Their idiots. I’ll… I’ll just go home, think about my life, reevaluate my goals.

ERIN

Go!

PUNK 4

Yes, sir.

While PUNK 4 leaves, ERIN doesn’t notice the PUNK LEADER with a knife in hand. The song ends at the end of the 3rd Verse. They switch places, ERIN’S purple eyes revert to FINN’S green eyes. The streak of jet black hair reverted back to its brown color. SERENA had rushed toward him, suddenly a feeling of pain surges through his body.

FINN screams in pain loudly while holding his arm where the knife is buried. He’s kneeling on the ground.

SERENA

(Worried tone)

Finn! Are you okay?!

(She notices the knife buried in his shoulder)

Oh my god!

FINN

I’ll be fine. I promise.

(He reassures her while laughing.)

SERENA

You’re laughing?!

FINN

It’s how I deal with pain…

ERIN (V.O)

What’s happening?!

He pulls out the knife but suddenly feels the sensation of pain. Both FINN & ERIN make a low sounding grunt in silence, due to the shock of this feeling. He secretly cuts his hand and clenches his fist… holding in his roar of pain.

FINN (V.O)

Our healing factor… it’s gone. I can feel this…

SERENA

We have to get you home!

She picks him up and carries him over his arm. They grab their belongings and immediately rush to FINN’S house. They rush in and SERENA calls out to MOM & DAD.

SERENA

Uncle! Auntie!

FINN

MOM! DAD!

They rush to find out what’s wrong and see FINN bleeding and wounded.

MOM

Serena?!

SERENA

Auntie! We got jumped by some guys and Finn fought them and one of them pulled a knife on him. And…

She gets hysterical and doesn’t know what to do. FINN’S DAD calms her down.

DAD

Sweetie. It’s okay. I’m gonna take you home now okay?

SERENA

Will Finn be okay?!

DAD

He will be sweetie. Your auntie’s a nurse. She’ll patch him quickly and he’ll be fine. I’m gonna take you home now.

DAD & SERENA leave the house and MOM looks at FINN’S wound. He explains what happened and is for the first time scared for his life. MOM became worried after hearing his explanation. His wounds instantly heal once again after a couple minutes had gone by.

FINN

Erin? What the hell just happened?

(Finn looks at his hand cut as it healed)

ERIN (V.O)

I have no fucking clue.

(He sounded worried)

End Of Episode 1

[crystalblueskie]

I got bored and wrote some jokes. Tell me if you like them.

So, to get started let me tell you a little something about my family. My mom is disabled and so she has a service dog named Callie Ann...that is such a country white girl name, Callie Ann, amirite? Anyways, so this dog obviously goes everywhere with us: doctors offices, grocery store, restaurants. Normal service dog stuff, you know? But for some reason, everybody stares at her like it's the weirdest thing they've ever seen. A dog wearing a vest walking around Target... I use Target because Walmart is too controversial. Walmart: EVIL!! Target: fair game. Walmart: Trump Target:...any other president. Anyways: dog wearing a vest walking around Target, a vest that blatantly say "SERVICE DOG" on it mind you and random people like to just walks up to us as we and the dog are minding our own business and ask "Is she a service dog?" *Stares bewildered* and every time I'm thinking in my head "I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU ASK HER VEST!"..."no, no ma'am we just slapped a service dog vest on her so she can go everywhere with us. Thank you for asking. Goodbye. Have a nice day." Another thing about this dog, I love her to death I really do. It's fun we have a young dog in the house again, she loves to play with anything that squeaks or makes a weird noise, I'm getting exercise again! Yay! But my mother takes it to a WHOLE 'NOTHER LEVEL!! We'll out shopping...*whispers* at Target...and we'll walk past the dog section... I'm trying to walk past as fast as possible. My mom stops right at the mouth of the aisle and walks down it. Shit, I know how this goes. My mom and her dog happily trot down the aisle and her dog smells all of the toy until eventually she smells a toy for more than three seconds...my mom is ready. She talks in that annoying baby voice, you know the voice right? *in an annoying baby voice* "Do you like that toy? Yeah! You like that toy? You want that toy? I'm gonna get you that toy!" SHIT. Toy goes in the cart...We end up leaving the store with more dog treats and a goddamn dog toy. Ever. Single. Time. And I'm over here thinking, if I got a toy every time we left the house as a child, I would have more toys than my tiny, little, ADD-riddled brain could handle. Now a days I'm a old 24 years old. If you don't know what that means, it means I'm mentally 24 years old and physically 80 years old. I'll be walking around the house like this *walks around like an old lady holding my back* and my mom will be looking at me and ask "what the hell are you doing?" And I'll yell back to her "what does it look like? My back hurts!!" I look outside "Get the hell of my lawn, you mangy kids!!" Anyways that obviously means I am a young millennial, which basically means that I remember when Netflix was delivered to your front porch and when Blockbuster was a thing. Also, I was told I needed to go to college or I wouldn't amount to anything. Jokes on them, I still didn't amount to anything. I got a Bachelors in Individualized Studies which means I was indecisive about my major and when I graduated I got a piece of paper basically thanking me for my participation. After 5 years of college, I got a piece of paper thanking me for participating in college. Think about that. This is what happened, I was originally going to school to become a teacher, but to become a teacher you must first waste your time taking a bunch of bullshit teaching classes like "How to teach Math" and then after about 3 years you have to submit a portfolio answering questions such as "Why do you want to become a teacher?" Maybe because I need a job and I was told the only way to get one that pays well was to go to college and I like kids sometimes and I took a course in school where I was basically a teachers assistant for 2 credits a semester and this seemed like the easiest job to get at the rip old age of 18. WRONG!! I was so very wrong!! What my teachers and professors failed to tell me was that to even get accepted into my colleges teaching program is not only do we have to answer the portfolio questions is: you have to pass 2 tests. This is what the TAKS tests were really preparing me for. One test was on Math. At this point, I have not done basic Mathematics in 2 years. The other test was on English and Grammar. I have barely passed my English courses with C's my entire life. The cards were not in my favor. You get approximately 60 minutes to finish each test. They take you into this office and you get a little locker and a key in exchange for your Drivers License. You are expected to place your phone and your purse or bag in the locker. They then place you in a separate room with desks with computer lined up against the wall. And at the opposite end of the room, smack in the center is a person that is paid to sit there and make sure you don't cheat. That is their only job, to sit there and stare at you like this *stares around room* am I making you nervous? *whispers* good. Because that is exactly how I felt the entire 60 minutes. And the thing is they don't even give you scratch paper for the math portion, just a TI-84 calculator. You know the ones that cost like 250 dollars and were fucking MANDATORY in middle school? Little secret about those calculators, they have 4 games on them. Yup. Found that out really quick. I used to sit in class on my calculator and the teachers would be none the wiser as I played the same game on my expensive calculator for the whole hour. I still play on it to this day. Anywho, no scratch paper, just an expensive calculator that I can play games on but forgot how to graph on. And I don't know about you guys, but I can't do math in my head like some people, I'm not wired that way. So, I had to go up to the creepy guy paid to stare at us and ask him for scratch paper. At one point I got so involved in solving a problem that I kept getting answers that were not multiple choice options, that I ran out of time and automatic failed 8 out of about 50 questions. A month later I found out that I somehow managed to get a B on a test I didn't finish. *whispers* I'll take it. So, the first time I turned in my portfolio, I had the tests scores that they were looking for but not the detailed answers to their profound questions. I obviously did not get into the teaching education program the first time. A year later I was allowed to turn in my portfolio again. This time I got smart, I made my sister proofread and rewrite my answers for the incentive of 100 dollars of my financial aid. *whispers* I got in. Now at this point, you're probably wondering why I told you all of this and why I don't have a Bachelors in Early Childhood Education like I intended after I went through the torture of 5 years of college and my acceptance into the TEP and the answer to that is, I showed up to the TEP orientation to be told that I had to take 2 more years of teaching courses and at that point I had been in college for nearly 5 years and I was like "There is no way in Hell that I was going to graduate after nearly 7 years of college just to teach children how to count and what the primary colors are." That was probably my biggest mistake in life. Just FYI, all of your childhoods are a lie. Red and Blue are not Primary colors. Cyan, Magenta, and Yellow are the true Primary colors according to the art wheel. To those of you that don't know Cyan can also be called Sky Blue and Magenta is a bright shade of Pink. We good? Good. The definition of a Primary color is a color that cannot be made by combining any two colors. They just exist in the world as is. Still good? Okay. Blue and Red by definition are not Primary colors because they can be made by combining two colors. Blue can be made by combining Cyan and Magenta. Red by combining Yellow and Magenta. They are by definition Secondary colors, colors that can be made by combining two primary colors. Look at that, you came out to have a good time and I tricked you into learning something, I am a teacher. I'm just kidding, I'm lying I didn't always know that. I always thought the Primary colors were Blue, Red, and Yellow just like all of you. I learned that how everyone learns things nowadays, YouTube. Anyways, moving on. The other day I couldn't sleep to save my soul, I had insomnia. And I noticed the weird way that I lay in my bed. It looks a little something like this. *walks over to a pillow and Petunia laying in the middle of the floor* One moment I'll be laying like this *places right foot on side of left knee* You think that ones weird wait until you see the next one. Next minute I'll turn over and be laying like this *place left foot on top of right knee* and then I'll turn over again and do this *pull legs up closer to my body and place them slightly apart* I don't know what this one is, it's like when Deadpool got ripped in half by Juggernaut in Deadpool 2, sorry spoilers. And his lower half has to regrow and he's standing there in front of the remainder of X-Force and Cable but his legs are that of a toddler. That's what this looks like to me, a grown ass person with baby legs trying to run away from something. And then I'll turn over AGAIN and do this *lays almost on front and places left foot of the side of right knee* know this one , this ones not even a sleep position, this is the fucking tree pose from my beginners yoga class. *Stands up and does the tree pose placing both palms together.* Just *hums yoga hum*. That's what that is right there. Haha. I got so bored one morning around 6 o'clock that I decided to clean the mess that was my closet. I had shoes thrown all over the floor of the closet and smack in the middle was a laundry basket that had all the clothes I had ever worn in 3 months. I opened the doors up *pretends to open doors* and I just screamed *screams* and then promptly fainted. Right in front of my closet. That is how messy it was. And the ironic part is that I have OCD. That mess was too much for my tiny, little OCD-riddled brain could handle at 6 in the morning. Which was ironic considering the fact that I had been living with it for 3 months and my OCD didn't seem to mind. But the minute my brain decided it wanted to clean that mess, suddenly my brain was overwhelmed. It took me approximately 2 hours to clean out the junk filled drawers in my dresser and put all of my spring/summer clothes away. Some of you probably noticed I said spring/summer clothes, that is because my autumn/winter clothes do not fit in my room anywhere. So they lay in a tote, a room away, until the temperature starts to drop, and then I would change them out. Men you don't realize this but every girl you know has more clothes than she can count, and some of those clothes, *whispers* she don't even wear. I have a half a closet full of skater dresses, that I wear once in a goddamn blue moon, just because I wanted to feel pretty that day. Interesting thing about switching clothes out, it's not even a new thing. Back in the 19-whatever's girls and women would have a hope chest that was filled with dresses for the spring/summer time when it was autumn/winter outside, and vise versa when it was spring/summer outside. I learned that story from my beautiful mother over there, because one day I pointed to her mothers hope chest and asked what it was used for. Interesting fact about me and my grandmother is that if you look at pictures of her when she was around the age of 13 sitting at the pool, my 13 year old self looked exactly like her, facial expression and all. My grandma unfortunately died of Breast Cancer 5 years after giving birth to my mother, her only surviving biological child. I say "biological child" because after my grandma had so many miscarriages and stillborns, she and my grandpa gave up and went to purchase a child *whipers* from Target. Haha. I'm just kidding, everyone knows that babies come from heaven and that storks carry them down in their beaks to a random families' front porch and leave the baby there to get stepped one when the Husband or Wife goes to check the mail. Probably the Wife, husbands are useless at running errands. You tell a man to go to the store to get 5 items and he comes back with 1 maybe 2 of the items that you had purposely written down on his arm so that he would remember everything. Do women have to do everything? Even figure out what's wrong with our own cars because we've been asking you to do it for 2 months and you keep saying "I'll take a look at it as soon as I have time." "As soon as you have time, bitch? That's right now!! You're sitting on the couch watching goddamned football and drinking beer. Guess what either you can record or pause your game for 15 to 30 minutes or you can sit there watching it and not have anything to eat for dinner, because I was so busy doing your "job", that I forgot to do my "job"." I put quotations around job because I don't understand why the cooking and the cleaning and the children-taking-care of has to be done solely by the woman and why yard work and fixing cars and sitting-on-there-all-day-watching-the-game-while pretending-to-take-care-of-the-children has to be done solely by a man. I don't work like that. Everyone can do any household job. For example, I have broken the side mirror of my moms car 2 times now. Do you think I was just like "Oh, well, I don't know how to fix a mirror I'll have to take it to Chris to get it fixed." Just FYI, Chris is a real person, he's my mechanic for things that I can't fix on my own. Hey, Chris! I didn't just give up, I did what every person in my generation do, I turned to YouTube and typed into the search bar "How to change the side mirror of a 2005 Ford Focus" *ding* Millions of videos pop up. I click on one, I watch it, I now know the basics for how to change a side mirror on a car, I took me exactly 5 minutes to learn it. How long did it take you Chris? Since then I have now replaced 3 of my mothers side mirrors. One on the drivers side that she did, and two on the passenger side that I did pulling in and out of the garage. Both times. YouTube has gotten ridiculous. Remember way back when when it was filled with music videos and people would post videos of them singing along to the songs. Nowadays, you can search anything on YouTube and find a video on it. For example type in "how to get mangy kids off my lawn" and you will most likely find a ridiculous video on how to keep children and dogs off your lawn. I love YouTube, I watch a lot of gaming videos, some Youtubers that I watch are Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, the GameGrumps (creators of the fabulous game DreamDaddy), The Fine Brothers or FBE, Graveyardgirl or Bunny, and Good Mythical Morning with Rhett and Link. Search any of these Youtubers and watch their videos, and you will not be disappointed. I love how there's a channel out there for any genre. Baking, Cooking, Make-up, Video Games, React Video, and ,my personal favorite, rant videos. Do you guys remember when Chris Crocker did the "Leave Britney Alone" video? He was ugly crying and I'm pretty sure wearing mascara and guy liner and he just keeps yelling into the camera for 30 seconds straight "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!! YOU *points at person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE AND YOU *points at a different person* LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!" And it just goes on like that for 30 seconds of a guy ugly crying over Britney fucking Spears. You thought girls where the best ugly criers, you were wrong, it's the gays. Gays overpower all girl powers by like a 100. A girl will be like "Look at my make up isn't it nice?" And a gay guy with jump out of nowhere add flawlessly apply FaceOff quality make up and be like "you look beautiful, do you like my sexy alien?". Anyways, I just love YouTube, I could watch YouTube video of people playing scary games that look interesting to me but I'm too scared to play *whispers * all day long.

[awfully-sadistic]

{{ Book Talk: The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window

This question on Goodreads sums up my thoughts.

I don’t know what to say about this book or why I started to read it. I just did when I was looking for The Raven Cycle ‘cause I have a ridiculous crush on a character I don’t even know yet. Ronan.

Anyway, this fucking book. I thought it was like, fanfiction at first. It is certainly written that way. There is such a huge overuse of “he smirked/smirks” and “she smirked/smirks” and other cliche phrases, I’m going to throw up. There’s also an over abundance of the main character, Amber Something, calling other girls whores and sluts and basically slut shaming them for dressing how they want to dress--FOR WHICH THERE IS NO DRESS CODE AT SCHOOL, I GUESS. One of the instances of Amber describing a girl’s skirt was that it fit like a belt or something. Another instance is her putting down other girls for being loose, for wanting to have sex with her brother and his best friend. For being bimbos and ho’s and having no self-respect because apparently this author wrote every fucking woman in her school like this. EVERY WOMAN AT AMBER’S SCHOOL (EXCEPT FOR AMBER) WAS A THIRSTY SLUT OR A BITCH OR A HO after her brother and his best friend’s junk. They literally threw themselves at them, were incredibly bold with their flirtations like touching and grabbing them all the time. Like, these ladies were written desperately thirsty, I felt bad for them. All because the author wanted to portray Amber in a more angelic light or what?

Speaking of, her main love interest gave her the nickname Angel.

Oh, by the way. She slut shames her main love interest, Liam James, too. I only know his goddamn name because everyone calls him by his fucking whole name, like constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I guess he’s some sort of man-whore because he openly flirts with these girls right back so I suppose if she’s going to be calling the women sluts and whores, I’m glad she also calls Liam out for acting the same way??? So does Amber’s brother, Jake, and he’s known to have slept around, etc, etc. Basically everyone but Amber is a big ol’ slut.

Don’t even get me started on how Amber decides to take part of this stupid ass bet to “nail” Liam because he announced he had a girlfriend and ALL THE OTHER GIRLS IN SCHOOL WANT HIM. His fucking pot was raised to 4,000 dollars or something outrageous like that. 20 bucks per girl. They put in 20 dollars EACH into the pot to see who can convince him to virtually cheat on his girlfriend. Which, at this point, is Amber. 4000 dollars. 20per girl. i suck at doing math but is that like 200 girls??? IS THAT RIGHT? DID I DO MY MATHR IGHT? 200 GIRLS ARE AFTER LIAM’S ASS.

I honestly don’t know where to start with this.

I mean, I can start with how it feels incredibly juvenile. Amateurish. Half-finished? There seems to be a lot of details missing in between scenes and the scenes themselves are short as fuck. The transitions are incredibly sloppy, one second Amber is in her bathroom and the next she’s in school.

Can I also note how her eight year old dialogue was incredibly strange. It felt like an older person was talking.

A few more points:

1) she doesn’t want to tell anyone they’re dating. she makes liam wait like 2 weeks to break the news to her overprotective big brother (by two years because they’re both 18 and she’s 16).

2) her best friend magically finds this out because i guess she just does. and all of a sudden she went from thirsty ass bff to supportive ass bff and stops trying to nail Liam AND jake. wait no, she’s still trying to fuck amber’s brother.

3) she’s somehow emo. idk. she wears dark clothing and all the other “sluts” at school call her emo. and how liam will never be into her.

4) liam went from biggest fucking vagina humper to absolutely cult-like dedicated to amber like as soon as they shared their first kiss. i guess that’s sort of sweet if he weren’t a total fuckboy. he said he had been in love with her since he was six??? (which was make her 4 or something) and only slept around with all those women because he figured he’d just fall in love with someone else. he couldn’t have a chance with her because her brother forbid it.

5) brother eventually finds out and comes around like in a manner of minutes. found out because liam and amber have some sort of special technique he uses whenever amber has some sort of anxiety attack about her dad.

6) SPEAKING OF, HER DAD ALMOST RAPED HER when she was like 13.. or idk. something like that. sundays were usually reserved for “special” times when he’d touch her or whatever. basically dad is an abusive assfuck. jake and liam came home early from some kind of hockey game, saw the scene and apparently beat the shit out of the dad.

7) dont even know the extent of how far she was molested because she never fucking talked about it. im opting to believe it was that one instance and she was just milking it. idk. 

8) for as much as she went around in the first few chapters of the book saying how much she hated liam, how much she called him a man-slut, etc etc and being mean to him because oh he annoys her sooo much, he’s sooo mean, etc etc, she’s absolutely in love with him even though she’s finding reasons ...not to be. thinking he might cheat on her, get fed up with amber wanting to wait because she’s not letting him have sex yet. mainly because no one else but her mom, jake, and liam can touch her, ever, without her freaking out about it. but in the span of these few chapters ive read, two strangers have kissed her twice now. 

8a) first time, liam had to save her because she was drunk and blah blah blah. second time, she was openly flirting with a guy who was all, “i bet if i kiss you i can change your mind about wanting to go out with me” and she was all “i bet you 20 bucks you can’t and also i will kick you in the balls if you try” and what the fuck happened? he kissed her. she kicked him in the balls. liam’s like “that’s my girl” as the dude comes back limping into the room and hands her a 20.

9) “I’d wanted her for so long that I was a little worried that if I ever did get her, that she would never be able to live up to what I had imagined.“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS because to me, Liam saying this about Amber makes me feel like this can almost be an insult lmfao.

10) AND THIS IS THE SEX SCENE, FINALLY BTW:

“You are so beautiful, Angel,” I whispered. She smiled and gripped her hand around the back of my head, guiding my mouth back to hers. I felt my heart swell as I kissed her passionately, showing her just how much I loved and cherished her before I prepared myself to make love to her for the first time.

I smoothed her hair away from her sweaty forehead. She was grinning at me and looked so happy it made my heart skip a beat. “I love you, Angel.” We laid there trying to slow our heart beats. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck kissing her, feeling her rapid pulse under my lips. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. After a minute or so, I pulled out of her and rolled to my side. I tightened my arms on her, pulling her close to me, trailing my fingers over her naked, sweaty body, lingering on her breasts. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said quietly. I felt awful that I was the one to have to cause her pain, but I guess every girl had to go through that the first time.

Did this author really write “after a minute or so”? I was like, where’s the penetration? I had NO idea they were fucking until he pulled out... A MINUTE LATER.

11) everyone must be a goddamn cat or something because there’s a lot of seductive purring. and I ran into this hilarious count in a review:

Wink count: 48 Purr count: 37 Smirk count: 74 Flirt count: 38 Ass count: 91 (this one was the most annoying...everyone calls each other "hot ass" "sexy ass" "fine ass" nonstop throughout the entire book)

there is plenty more i can say about this train wreck but i think, above all, i was just... surprised it was like... PEOPLE LIKED THIS?? it even had this little thing at the end of the summary:

The international bestselling novel, and finalist of the Goodreads choice awards YA fiction 2012.

like... what... how can people pump out novels like 50 Shades and this mess and I can’t fucking finish a chaptered story? some of the answers answering that question i had tacked on above surprised me too. people were calling it “realistic” -- i had to roll my eyes. there has been no realistic part of this story since i started reading it. 

if it were, vampires would exist and they’d sparkle in the goddamn sunlight. frankly, we’d all have our Christian Grey by now, too.

and every time he called her Angel, i just imagined this:

thank you and goodnight.

#{{ Book Talk

[angel-with-a-pipette]

All of the questions for Kingdom Hearts, Conan and FMA. I wanna know. Any other fandom we both like? :D (Have fun)

Oh God XD Well I did the FMA one already, soo....

Kingdom Hearts

1. my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave:

Sora :3333333333333333333333 And Ven. Dang it, they’re both too pure.

2. my trash-shit fave:

I don’t think there is anybody like that. So I’ll just reach a little. Trash is dirty, dirt is on the ground, the ground forms the earth, earth is English for Terra :3 (and parts of the fandom treats him like trash so there you go ~)

3. my I love to hate them fave:

Xigbar and Xehanort.

4. my I hate to love them fave:

Young Xehanort, kinda? It’s Ben Diskin’s fault XD

5. my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave:

Larxene. ...and maybe Vexen, too xD

6. my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave:

I mean I don’t really hate him, but Axel/Lea? But it’s not only the “Love him so much!!!” part of the fandom, but the exact opposite “Omg I hate him so much!!!” part as well. All the fighting over him and the Orchestra dialog just annoys me lol. Though I might be a little salty myself that he gets the special SE treatment while Kairi has been waiting for years.

7. my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave:

Demyx. I hated him before, after Days I could kinda relate to him, but he’s not climbed the ladder that much to become a fave xD

8. my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship:

TERRAQUA AND SOKAI. FIGHT ME, THEY ARE CANON.

9. my dirtybadwrong fave ship:

... >_> Also Xemaqua because having Xehanort involved in anything that slips into intimacy with Terra/Aqua is the definition of dirtybadwrong XD

10. my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship:

Rokunami. Days destroyed this for me =) As such, I probably wouldn’t mind Rokushi either, but I would love to see Rokunami become canon a tiny bit more.And lately... young Eraqus/young Xehanort? XD Idk, I haven’t even thought about it so much, but I can’t be blind to how trusting Eraqus is towards Xehanort so maybe there was some young love involved? Like, I wouldn’t be mad about it.

11. my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship:

Soriku. I mean I’m more like I don’t mind, but I get kinda sad that it has SUCH a huge following compared to Sokai and it’s hard to find nice fanfiction about them (and it boggles me that the ship that is hinted by canon is so disliked pretty much since forever).

12. my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship:

SEPHIROTH/POOH. Axel/Lea with the kiddos, any form of Xehanort with the kiddos (really??)

Detective Conan

1. my beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world fave:

Takagi :3 XD

2. my trash-shit fave:

Heiji? XDDDDDD He is kind of trash when he can’t fucking remember not to call Shinichi by his name XDDDD

3. my I love to hate them fave:

EISUKE. FUCK HIM.

4. my I hate to love them fave:

Eeeeh...

5. my I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire non-fave:

Still Eisuke. I wouldn’t even breathe to avoid the condensation -_-

6. my I didn’t care about them either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about them now I can’t stand them non-fave:

I don’t really think there is such a person in the fandom o.o

7. my I could take them or leave them kinda non-fave:

The Detective Boys maybe?

8. my I will go down with this ship and I won’t put my hands up and surrender, there will be no white flag above my door. I’m in love and always will be fave ship:

SHINRAN. HEIJI/KAZUHA. SATO/TAKAGI.

9. my dirtybadwrong fave ship:

Conan/Ai. They could work, but Shinichi loves Ran so nope. Also I guess Shiho/Akai is kinda bad because he’s kinda old and kinda dated her sis xD And they’re probably related yay (WHICH I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT WHEN I STARTED SHIPPING THEM BECAUSE GOSHO JUST PULLED THIS OUT OF HIS ASS OKAY?? Goddammit why u destroy my perfect ship?)

10. my they’re cute together and I dig them but I’m not all that terribly invested kinda fave ship:

Eeeeh the other canon ships I guess.

11. my I didn’t care about this ship either way at first but the fandom makes such a big deal about it now I can’t stand it non-fave ship:

I don’t think such a ship exists.

12. my MAKE IT STOP non-fave ship:

Agasa/Ai. C’mon dudes, he’s over 50 and she’s 18, the fuck is wrong with you? And they both treat each other like family.

Thank you :3 I can’t recall another shared fandom XD Until you maaaybe watch Miraculous? :p

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

#tag game #geissbock #answered

[tumblunni]

Okay, kinda TMI talk here about period problems and Bunni Being Worried And Dysphoric, blablabla I’m just having a huge stupid panic moment right now cos I read some internet medical articles and LIKE USUAL I’m being all ‘oh god i probably have the worst case scenario disease on the list, I’m gonna fuckin die’ even though I literally have never been right about that even ONCE when I’ve done it. Still, it sucks having a stupid anxiety disorder cos you can just feel your body throwing you into panic attack mode even as you are rationally saying to yourself that this worrying thing has a 0% chance of happening. Its impossible to just choose to not be afraid of something... *sigh*... SO YEAH ANYWAY UMM Don’t want to worry anyone, I’m totally gonna be fine and I’m just being irrational mess about something that’s probably gonna be a super easy solution once I see the doctor. I’ll just book an appointment tomorrow or later this week, no biggie. And I’ll write all this stuff down so I can avoid freaking out and crying over how embarassing Vagina Health is when you’re trying to ask your cis male doctor about it and you’re a trans person who just wants to stab themself whenever they think about this goddamn Wrong Organ. like seriously, the biggest comfort I am using right now to come down from this panic attack is ‘hey, if it IS a big horrible cancer tumour, then at least it means they cant stop me from getting a hysterectomy now!’ :P so umm anyway that was probably too TMI already but I’ll put the more TMI stuff under the cut

OKAY! SO! I’ve suffered from REALLY HORRIBLY BAD periods for like.. ever They usually had an issue of being way too short but also WAY TOO POWERFUL. I’d have just a one day absolute burning pain blast where I would literally be unable to walk. LITERALLY BE UNABLE TO WALK! Like, I COULD NOT STAND that my dad was just telling me ‘;you’re lying, you’re exaggerating, its just cramps’ when the pain WASNT EVEN THE GODDAMN CRAMPS. I got fucking stabbing pain in my lower back for no damn reason, was inexplicably constipated and throwing up, got a huge hot-and-cold-flushes fever, complete muscle weakness in my legs which made them fucking shut down, and like.. LABOR SYMPTOMS. Its this weird horrible downward pressure pain in my pelvis and I was just a goddamn kid so i was like.. ‘i cant even tell if this is part of the constipation’, i would be spending five hours on the toilet desperately trying to shit out a shit that didn’t exist, as my body spasmed itself to death forcibly ejecting out way more blood than I ever thought I even had. I It took me so long to find out that that wasnt normal for a period?? That this didnt happen to everyone???? And cos its SO GROSS AND EMBARASSING to talk about these particular symptoms, I didnt tell anyone. Even when i finally was able to get some pain medication from the doctor, I just mentioned the abnormal amount of bleeding and pain, not the weird ‘wtf my bowels just stopped working as if my ovaries are constantly punching them for 24 hours’ part. Seriously just fuckin.. so degrading and disgusting.

And i was a fuckin 13 year old kid, this just abruptly started in my second year of having a period, and my dad was a sick fucker who ‘didnt believe in doctors’ and didnt believe i was telling the truth about my symptoms. So I had to live FROM 13 TO 17 without EVEN KNOWING THAT ASPIRIN AND IBUPROFEN EXISTED! i was going through all of this without even the basic pain medication most people have for normal periods! Once monthly I would BEG GOD TO LET ME DIE Seriously i would spend THE WHOLE 24 HOURS screaming in horrible pain on the floor that gradually got worse until I finally couldnt move my legs and passed out from exhaustion. And all i could do was hope that I’d get weaker each month and pass out faster, cos seriously being able to sleep through it was THE BIGGEST BLESSING EVER like DEAR GOD like ONCE I was able to get to sleep during the point where it was milder pain and then when I woke up it was already over and AAAAAAHHHHH I got to go a full two months without feeling that death madness again and seriously fuckin.. how the fuck could my dad look at this small child screaming and vomiting and sweating like I was in the sahara and gushing blood from every oriface cos i fuckin VOMITED SO HARD I VOMITED BLOOD and somehow still think I was just ‘making it up’

god one of my worst memories was how I had this huge horrible period death attack in the middle of school and my poor teacher was trying to comfort me and trying to call my dad to pick me up, and he just Did Not Give A Shit so the teacher tried to drive me home himself and just.. god I was so happy even as I was dying just cos I got to meet ONE PERSON who had sympathy for me and even actually said ‘hey you should see a doctor’. And all i gave him in return was throwing up in a trash bin for an hour in the back of his car, and then he had to meet my awful father and have a door slammed in his face. And then as soon as he got me inside the house dad just hit me and screamed at me for ‘embarassing him’ and ‘ditching school’ and man the only good side effect of being Fucking Dead On The Floor Already is that I did not feel a thing of it and barely even managed to hear a word he said. I think he just gave up cos seriously i wasnt even fuckin moving, i guess the fun goes out of beating your kid when they’re too fuckin stoned on their own vomit fumes to even be able to cry anymore. Oh and my other Even More Worse memory was when I missed the chance to see Howl’s Moving Castle cos of this shit. I saw like the first twenty minutes of it before my period hit while I was in the middle of the theater and then i had to spend three hours crying and puking and bleeding and laying on the floor in a pool of my own vomit in a cinema bathroom while my dad screamed at me as if i was purposely faking just to embarass him. Like seriously dude?? BASIC LOGIC, PLEASE! he was CONSTANTLY accusing me of doing really horrible manipulative things all the time, as some sort of twisted excuse to hit me and pretend i was an evil fucker causing every problem in his life so he didnt have to feel guilty about doing it. And it NEVER MADE ANY GODDAMN SENSE! Even if i WAS an evil monster, what would that evil monster’s MOTIVE be? Why would i constantly do these evil things that serve no purpose except to get myself half killed by my dad? Why would I ruin a cinema trip that I asked to go to, to see a movie I waited all year to see??? And the most vivid disgusting part of it all was when he walked in and saw me like that and I LITERALLY ASKED TO DIE, and he LITERALLY LAUGHED. I begged him to call a doctor, he laughed and said I was exaggerating. I begged him to call an AMBULANCE, he laughed harder. I told him to his face that I wanted to kill myself just to make the pain stop, and he acted as if it was the funniest thing he ever heard, turned around and left and watched another movie. The poor cinema staff were left taking care of me while he ignored me, he wouldnt even take me home, he was just like... waiting til he finally got bored enough to do it. His biggest concern was ‘eww you made me walk into the girls’s bathroom’... I’m never gonna be able to stop remembering that, I’m never gonna be able to deny how absolutely certain I was that I’d rather end my life right there than live this nightmare for another month and another month for like fuckin 30 or 50 years. God I wanted to kill myself A LOT when i was with my dad, but this one was the worst cos for all I knew I’d be stuck with this pain forever even if I managed to escape him. I was so fucking ignorant! I didnt even know there was easy to acquire pain medication you could buy in any supermarket across the world! I mean, I still have the problem of my period being more severe than expected and all, but the meds at least made it NON SUICIDAL LEVELS OF PAIN. And god I once wanted to kill myself as a young child because I didnt know those existed. And I didnt know that transgender people existed or that there were words to put to my other feelings of disgust about having a period. I may still be depressed in a lot of ways, but I’m living a way better life now!

So umm yeah anyway my current worry today is because my period hasn’t ended for like 2 or 3 months now. I can’t even pinpoint the exact time it happened, cos it started with just light spotting and my period coming a few days late every month for like a year? and then it would last longer, and sometimes I’d get a small bit of bleeding suddenly starting up five days later and ending within a few hours. I sorta didnt think much of any of these symptoms and i cant nail down exactly when it just increased so much that it became this noticeably constant. And its REALLY weird for me, cos also all this stuff came along with my period not hurting as much?? And now for the last month i haven’t felt any pain at all, so I cant even tell which part of all this bleeding was the actual period. And I’m bleeding way less than usual, its just... constant. Its not even enough to be a big problem so I didnt wanna tell anyone and be a bother, its not like I’m losing blood enough to get light headed, its just annoying having so many pairs of underwear ruined and feeling more dysphoric 24/7. And it makes me pretty anxious cos I didnt know what was causing this and whether it was a symptom of some bigger problem- like, it doesnt hurt but maybe its a sign i have fuckin death doom cancer or something and its suddenly gonna start hurting any second now???

So yeah, today I finally stopped being anxious and decided I’m gonna call a doctor next week, and did some internet research to see if this is serious enough to really call the doctor. And cos I’m dumb I panicked thinking of the worst case scenario, but also doing that research kinda cheered me up cos now at least I know an explanation for why the symptoms seemingly got worse on random days, and like.. this isnt an impossible thing. Cos seriously, yeah, raised in a household with No Doctors Ever. i dont know very much about medical health, when this first started happening i freaked out cos i had NEVER HEARD of bleeding outside the regular monthly cycle and from all I knew it was PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE and I’m PROBABLY DYING xD But no, apparantly spotting and mistimed periods and going one or two weeks of constant bleeding are all completely natural variances that just happen, and you dont even need to call a doctor for that. I just need to call a doctor cos its been happening a bit more often than that, they say up to a month is a normal amount. And apparantly the vast, VAST majority of conditions that cause constant period are not remotely life threatening, the worst possible scenario is becoming infertile or just.. having to continue experiencing mildly annoying bleeding a lot. Apparantly a lot of people choose to not have an operation cos they don’t wanna lose the ability to have children, but fuck I’ve been hoping to lose that thing FOREVER, jesus christ! damn docs won’t let you have a hysterectomy ‘without reason’, like seriously why is ‘i dont want to have children’ not a reason?? and why is ‘i have never had sex and never will have sex’ not a reason and also why is ‘i’m nonbinary transgender and would like this surgery even though i don’t want genital surgery’ not an option seriously MAN PLEASE can I at least go on hormones doc. seriously everyone is being all ‘well treating your ptsd and depression is a bigger priority right now’ and i mean ITS NOT LIKE THERE’S A REAL DEADLINE FOR WHEN THAT’S GONNA END and DYSPHORIA KINDA DOESNT MAKE IT ANY EASIER gahhhh god i really REALLY hope they let me have a hysterectomy i am gonna be SO DISSAPPOINTED now if it turns out this ovary failure is not the particular sort of ovary failure that requires removal of ovaries. plz kill them. pliz mr docter. they haf plagued my lyfe 4 too longe. XD god, sorry, like I said I’m just really dysphoric talking about Vagina Health Stuff so i’m getting a bit irrational and ranty. Its just like that ‘please can i skip the middle man and get to the end of the transition already’ feeling. I know it would be stupid to not listen to my doctor’s advice on the subject. Tho I do kinda feel like everyone is just patronizing me and doenst think that nonbinary really exists, i’m still trying to get my support worker to stop calling me a girl... MAN IM GOING OFFTOPIC TO A WHOLE OTHER ANXIETY HERE

Anyway! Researching into possible causes of it! It’s entirely possible i may have Adenomyosis, which would ironically mean I have an excess of estrogen in my system and am like.. Too Female To Female. I’m gonna fuckin cry if its this, that’s like the biggest fuckin sign that your sex doesn’t have to align with your gender! or lol maybe god is trying to compensate, i just imagine its like throwing too much sugar into a cake to try and make up for it tasting like shit. sorry dude, woman machine broke. BUT I don’t seem to have like a huge amount of symptoms for that one, aside from just the excess bleeding outside of my cycle. So I’m leaning more towards the ones that also include back pain and uhh.. gross bowel issues of embarassingness. It might be that I was always showing preemptive signs of one of these conditions!

One other that it could possibly be is Endometriesis which is a really fuckin cool sounding word but impossible to spell, lol. Apparantly its this TERRIFYING CONCEPT where your uterus is like.. a tumour in your gut. For whatever reason there’s uterine tissue growing in your intestines, stomach or other butt related tubes. I dont wanna read more about it cos its already making me terrified and anxious, so I dont even know HOW exactly that works. I mean is it like there’s a big ol hole stabbing through your organs connecting two unconnected things together?? Cos if so, I cant understand why its saying that its an easy operation and a never fatal condition! So I’m assuming maybe its more like everything is still separate but like.. the composure of the cells in your intestines is wrong? There’s like a tiny vestigal lump of uterine lining tissue in your stomach lining instead? i guess maybe they’re somehow vaguely related, so like.. if the human body begins from stem cells that can grow into any other cell to make a full human, it would seem entirely plausable that rather similar organs or skin thingies could accidentally form all vice versa. i guess thats also the reason for mutations like people growing an extra finger? I had a friend who had two extra fingers at birth, actually! I felt really sad when she told me about it, it was like years after we met that she felt comfortable enough to tell me about where her hand scars came from. i just remember i felt SO CONFUSED why she’d even think that like.. she had to be super certain i was a good person who wouldnt make fun of her. Why on earth would you mock someone for something like that?? How many other people must have treated her like shit if she feels this ashamed of her own hands?? And I felt really sad that she had them amputated too, I just find it a bit disturbing and surreal that there’s this societal thing of giving extensive surgery to very young children to ‘correct’ something that’s completely harmless just because it ‘looks wrong’. i’ve read stories about stuff like a child having like a split arm, an extra arm attatched at the elbow. And that particular operation to ‘correct’ it literally made the kid lose all ability to use both arms, just so they could have one ‘normal’ looking nonfunctional one. Thats messed up! Its EVEN WORSE that this happens the most commonly with intersex conditions, its invasive GENITAL surgery on newborn infants and even assigning them a random gender based on whichever form of genitals was easiest to ‘recreate’ with plastic surgery. These poor kids dont even get to know about what happened to them until they grow up and uncover this horrifying pandora’s box of medical files...

Oh, and speaking of intersex conditions, another possibility is that I might have PCOS, which is like being intersex in hormones but not outer genetalia. But I’m not sure about it cos I don’t have a lot of the more visible symptoms of it, aside from adult acne and ‘weight gain' which is.. well im pretty damn sure I gained this weight the normal way instead XD It also says that unusual hair growth might be a symptom, but it doesnt seem I have it in any of the places that’re common for the disease. I’ve had a weird thing of suddenly gaining light spots of hair on my belly and neck in the past few years. Its weird cos it really is just spots for the neck, its only growing in the right side in a little circle. i dunno what’s up with that! It sucks cos I really would like to be able to grow proper facial hair, I’m only able to do a very spotty mustache that just makes me look even more like a woman I think. i just look like an ugly woman, I feel like everyone can instantly tell I’m DFAB and they’re just laughing at me for this one failed attempt to look masculine. Also it fuckin sucks being overweight cos binders don’t work as well! They’ve gotta be wider to fit around a bigger body of course, but that means its hard to find the right size that’re be tight where it counts withough being tight on the shoulders. I think my current one is too baggy, I can’t stand even looking like a normal dude of my weight level, i cant stand even having regular fat guy ‘moobs’. I WANNA DESTROY THEM ENTIRELY!! Also, incidentally, I’m kinda terrified the most of being diagnosed with PCOS just cos it’d make my dysphoria worse. It’d kinda make me worry that maybe my identity is invalid and I only feel this way cos I have this hormone problem, and I’d probably refuse to take any treatment just in case it somehow cures my transness :P

The one that currently seems most likely is ‘uterine fibroids’. Apparantly its a non cancerous form of tumour that’s so small that its not remotely damaging, and surgery is very easy and non scary. The problem is just that you have so many of these small things slowly stacking up over the years, and being hard to spot until its already gotten bad. Plus even a small thing can be very painful when its in a very sensitive organ. I’m thinking its probably this cos they mention specifically lower back pain and constipation/other bowel problems. The endometrisis one would also explain the constipation during periods, but this one has a wider range of very specific symptoms that all seem to match.

Anyway, writing this up has helped distract me so I can calm down a little and wrap my head around all this. I just hope I can have enough courage to talk to the doctor about it and hopefully find out what it actually is. Oh, and a random tip I learned! Eating too much sugar increases menstrual bleeding! That was what was confusing me about my symptoms seeming to worsen out of nowhere on random days. I was super worried!! I guess the change is just more noticeable than it would be on my regular period, cos this one is lasting so long. I tested this out today by chugging one of the super grand milkshakes from that cool midnight milkshake takeaway shop, and I started getting the big ol scary clotty giant bleed within two hours. Waited a while til it stopped, drank another sugary drink, happened again! Definate correlation! I’m kinda relieved cos this definately proves it’s a period related problem, I’m not bleeding from like an exploded organ or something. This is definately specifically the ol menstrual blood, and I dont have some horrifying sudden septic wound in my vag out of nowhere. Tho seriously i dunno why I was worrying that cos its not like I’ve ever had sex, where would a wound even come from?? I guess I was just going nuts back when I was all uneducated and assumed it was Literally Impossible to have a period that lasts too long. Mannnn talking about this is SO GROSS I’m like cringing into the ninth dimension just from saying the word vag... Anyway now I’m actually feeling a bit lightheaded from the Even More So Than Before heavy bleeding, it probably wasnt a smart idea to test out the sugar thing twice in one day. Now I’m bleeding as much as I usually do on my regular period, which is probably not good cos I’ve already been losing a small amount of blood everyday. Apparantly carrots have a vitamin that helps decrease menstrual bleeding, but its late evening now and all the supermarkets are shut :P SOMEONE BEAM CARROTS INTO MY HOME, AAAAA lol i just need to calm down and get out of this panic attack, its probably just this in combination with the blood loss thats giving me lightheadedness. and then it makes me worry even more about the blood loss and enter an eternal death spiral of anxiety yet again... GAHH I HATE YOU DYSPHORIA DAY I WILL TALK TO THE DOCTOR AND SO HELP ME GOD I REALLY WISH THIS LEADS TO A HYSTERECTOMY seriously lol every time I’m doubting if I’m ‘really trans enough’ i should look back on this conversation where i’m wishing my uterus disease is the worst possible option just so i can get rid of the damn uterus.. ANYWAY BUNNI IS GONNA GO TRY AND CALM DOWN NOW COS I CANT CALL THE DOCTOR TIL TOMORROW ANYWAY

#gahhhh anxiety #anxiety and gross embarassing medical problems #and dysphoria #and apparantly carrots #carrots somehow control your uterus #al these years and ive never known to eat more carrots on the monthly time...

[forsythefrontier]

Get to know me better! :D

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Requested by:@ goodknightz ​

I don’t know who to tag, but I thought this would still be fun to do! (sorry it took so long to get to, but tumblr lags my computer and I wanted to wait to do this to distract myself from doing other things.

Ready? Set? Go!

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Iced coffee. *slirp* 2. Phone call: Mom 3. Text message: A group convo of friends that wouldn’t shut up while I was trying to watch the IT trailer. 4. Song you listened to: Living In Your Eyes- L’arc En Ciel on my spotify. 5. Time you cried: Last Saturday over some family stuff. HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: I sure as hell hope not or else someone is in trouble. 9. Lost someone special: That’s how life works. 10. Been depressed : Well considering that I’ve gone to the doctor for it... 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: More times than I would like, especially when I was 21 on New Years .lol But that never stopped me from doing the same thing over again several times.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Lavender, Orange, and black IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Oh yeah, and they’ve been a great bunch of guys. I call some of them my “bras from another ma”. XD 16. Fallen out of love: Kinda? I liked this one guy, but not sure how I feel now. 17. Laughed until you cried: An old lady told me not to get into trouble and I told her, while looking out into the distance, “Trouble calls my name.” She then said that I’m the least troubled person she has ever met and called me a marshmallow. I didn’t laugh that much, but I was definitely crying when I left to my car. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: When hasn’t that happened to me? 19. Met someone who changed you : The new guy friends I have are great, making me more comfortable not to give a fuck. 20. Found out who your friends are: Kind of. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yep... Do family count too?

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. I don’t add people unless they ask for it face to face. 23. Do you have any pets: My roommates have two dogs, Mocha and Mitty. 24. Do you want to change your name: I’m ok with my name, but I wouldn’t mind changing it to Steve if I ever made that kind of decision. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Took in some alcohol into theater to see A Pet’s life and Nerve. Funny enough, it was a place that served alcohol, but you know, too expensive. 26. What time did you wake up: 8:15am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Trying to take care of a major headache that wouldn’t go away. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Making a comic that I will actually complete 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A couple weeks ago on my aunt’s birthday. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I can’t choose just one, but I’ll go with becoming a millionaire by now. . 31. What are you listening to right now: CreepyMcPasta’s readings of his June 2016 compilation of creepypasta stories.. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, I had a friend’s who’s dad was named Tom, and then in high school I had a friend who was a Tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Roommates. 34. Most visited website: Probably Youtube or Tumblr. 35. Mole/s: Yeah, I have a couple on my back. 36. Mark/s: Hey goodknightz, remember when you accidentally pushed me forward from almost ten years ago? I still have weird red bruised looking marks on my foot. 37. Childhood dream: I’ve always wanted to be an artist. It was between animator or comicbook artist, which is still my dream. 38. Hair color: Pink and dirty blonde. I need to recolor it soon. 39. Long or short hair: It’s shoulder’s length, but I want to make it shorter. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Kinda? I haven’t seen him much since the semester ended, but who knows. 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m a little wiser than some people, and I’m pretty good with puzzles and solving stuff. 42. Piercings: Used to, on my ears and eyebrow. The eyebrow sort of merged out so I need to get it re-pierced. 43. Blood type: A+ 44. Nickname: Stephy, and Steph. 45. Relationship status: Single ;~; 46. Zodiac: Leo 47. Pronouns: she/her, but I don’t mind he/him or they/them. 48. Favorite TV Show(s): Currently it’s Steven Universe, Sense 8, American Horror Story, and Bojack the Horseman 49. Tattoos: Just one. It’s of the crest Hinata from Naruto wears on her jacket when she’s young. The tattoo is on my left wrist. 50. Right or left hand: I’m right handed. 51. Surgery: Never had one. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Starting when I was 16 to 18 I always died it black, but then about 22 I started dying it every chance I get. It’s been a variaty of blue, green, purple, black, pink, and blonde. 53. Sport: I played softball when I was a kid. 54. ??? This number was missing so… let me invent one. Random interesting fact about yourself, go!: My favorite pokemon game is Ruby because I won it from a Kids WB giveaway. My mom was annoyed because it was right after easter and I tore up my brother’s letter to the easter bunny and was supposed to be in trouble for it.  55. Vacation: Do they actually exist? I thought those were only in legends. 56. Pair of trainers: I actually had no idea what this meant so I’ll just go with pokemon trainers. Ace trainer and the lolita looking, fairy type ones.

MORE GENERAL : 57. Eating: Chewing gum. 58. Drinking: Just my iced coffee. 59. I’m about to: Work on a comic I want to finish 61. Waiting for: Tomorrow to go out for pizza. 62. Want: To be the very best, like no one ever was. 63. Get married: Sure, if the timing and person are good. 64. Career: I want to work with cartoons or comics, but for now I’m an in home care provider for thee old ladies.

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, although I still feel awkward with them. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. 67. Shorter or taller: Around the same height as me.  68. Older or younger: Don’t really care as long as they’re not too young or too old. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I honestly don’t know. 71. Sensitive or loud: Depends, but I’m leaning towards loud since that’s what I’m used to. 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemakers are fun, as long as they don’t get caught and aren’t in any deep shit. HAVE YOU EVER : 74. Kissed a Stranger: Yep. At a Halloween party I kissed a guy dressed up as Gumby. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yeah, but I have to chase it down with something sweet. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yep. 77. Turned someone down: Yeah, a couple times. 78. Sex on the first date: Nope. 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah. 80. Had your heart broken: Yeah, but I got over it. 81. Been arrested: No, not yet. 82. Cried when someone died: I had an aunt that just died back in November, and we all saw it coming, but I still cried. 83. Fallen for a friend: Only way for me to like someone. DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Sometimes. 85. Miracles: Yeah. 86. Love at first sight: I’m sure it happens for other people, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen to me so I’m “meh” on the matter. 87. Santa Claus: Not since yesterday. 88. Kiss on the first date: I guess? Depends on who the person is and how the date went.

OTHER : 90. Current best friend name: My bras from another ma. 91. Eye color: Green 92. Favorite movie: For the longest time it was The Green Mile, but my guilty pleasure is The Last- Naruto the Movie because of my fave ship naruhina.

#tagged #myself

[xhanac]

Kay so @oswald–copperpot tagged me in this (thank u for tagging me btw) so I’m gonna answer some questions.

The rules are basically that you have to answer these 83 statements and tag 20 ppl but fuck it, I have literally no friends on here so I’m just gonna tag @locoalma10, yay

the last…

1. drink: ehh..water, ikr I’m boring

2. phone call: probably my mom, don’t rlly remember tho :/

3. text message: a friend, sth about her ex

4. song you listened to: Fourth of July by Fall out Boy, for some reason it reminds me of Twist&Shout and I wanna cry ;_;

5. time you cried: like a week ago cus I had a pretty bad fight with my mom…ya

6. dated someone twice: nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nah

8. been cheated on: I mean I hope never..

9. lost someone special: idk man

10. been depressed: lel that’s kinda a constant thing..kidding kidding..kinda..idk man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: a year ago approximately, t’was pretty bad dammit never doing that again

favorite colors…

12. vantablack (I know it’s not an actual color, still putting it down cus it looks like the void and I love it, damn you Anish Kapoor)

13. red

14. rainbow cus I’m gay

in the last year have you…

15. made a new friend: yiss

16. fallen out of love: nah

17. laughed until you cried: yah probably

18. found out someone was talking about you: ya

19. met someone who changed you: ye

20. found out who your friends are: ehh..probably..idk, don’t really get the question :/

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: if that means we’re friends on fb then yeah

general…

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them..like I’ve met most of them but they’re mostly random ppl from my old school and stuff so I don’t really know them

23. do you have any pets: ye, I have a dawg named Shanti and I had a westie called Whisky but he died a couple of years ago :/

24. do you want to change your name: ye

25. what did you do for your last birthday: went out for drinks with a couple of friends and stuff.. also had a bunch of sushi which was nice

26. what time do you wake up: ehh…6.30am when I’ve got school, 4pm now that it’s summertime.. don’t look at me, I’m a terrible person, idc tho, sleep is a blessing 

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: asleep, I was on a trip that completely exhausted me so I went to sleep super early

28. name something you can’t wait for: to enter university so I can stop stressing out about it

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: couple of hours ago

30. what are you listening to right now: myself typing..my laptop ventilator…ehh…a crushing silence that surrounds me, making me aware of the weighing possibility that I might as well be floating in nothingness, on my own cus quite possibly nothing is real, the world as I know it might as well just be a computer simulation, everybody I ever met might be no more but a mere coded image and my own feeling of self might be no more but a code sbdy wrote to make me feel like I’m real, even though nothing really is….idfk man it’s 3am and I’m bored, I’m supposed to wake up early tomorrow to go to work smh, ded

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I mean probably

32. something that is getting on your nerves: college applications

33. most visited website: tumblr.com cus I’m gay and have a flare for social justice..kidding..I mean that too I guess but I just like to look/read about mah gay ships and tumblr seems to be the right place for that

34. hair color: brown

35. long or short hair: it was kinda long but I’m probably getting a haircut soon so it’s gonna be short then

36. do you have a crush on someone: ya

37. what do you like about yourself: ehh..idk, I’m fluent in three languages (kay, semi-fluent in the third one, still proud of it tho), also I can draw pretty decently I guess

38. piercings: two on my left ear, I’d really like to get a lip piercing tho

39. blood type: uhh.. idk 

40. nickname: luc, das it

41. relationship status: relationships are confusing don’t talk to me

42. zodiac: capricorn

43. pronouns: she/her I guess

44. favorite tv show: Gotham atm cus nygmobblepot, OITNB, Sherlock, Supernatural, Avatar (both the last airbender and legend of Korra, both are rlly good honestly), Skam, also currently watching Black Mirror (San Junipero tho literally murder me that shit is magnificent)…also, does anime count as tv shows? I’m deciding it does cus I wanna talk about anime. Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Black Butler, Noragami, Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Ao no Exorcist, Soul Eater, Owari no Seraph, Durarara, Hataraku Maou-sama,, Gangsta., No.6…

45. tattoos: don’t have any but they’re dope and I want them

46. right or left handed: left-handed.. but I’ve been kinda trying to write/draw with my right cus I’m bored and I like the word ambidextrous so I’m trying to achieve that

47. surgery: nah

48. sport: I used to play tennis a lot when I was younger but I haven’t done that in years, seems like an entire lifetime ago

49. vacation: I wanna go to Japan

50. pair of trainers: does this mean do I have them? yeah I have a pair of trainers

more general…

51. eating: sushi slays my existence

52. drinking: water, cedevita, idk

53. I’m about to: make myself go to sleep cus I have to wake up early and it’s 3.38am already wtf Imma die tomorrow

54. waiting for: idk man…the feeling of contentment, I dunno

55. want: Donald Trump to bite the dust, equal rights, heteronormativity to perish, queerbaiting to return to the pits of hell it crawled out of….I’d also like to learn how to skateboard cus I’m shit at it but I like it

56. get married: like…in the future..maybe..I dunno man that’s a question for the future and the future ain’t here yet

57. career: dunno, something within the STEM territory, don’t know what, I’m vv confused

58. hugs or kisses: can I just say both? Ya, both are good

59. lips or eyes: goddammit both again

60. shorter or taller: idc

61. older or younger: idc

62. nice arms or nice stomach: what does this question even mean.. I mean nice is a subjective term so idk

63. hook up or relationship: relationship

64. troublemaker or hesitant: I dunno.. neither

65. kissed a stranger: nah but I was randomly kissed by some girl once whom I only spoke to for like 5 minutes prior..it was weird and it annoyed me cus I don’t even know her and she didn’t even ask smh -.-

66. drank hard liquor: ya

67. lost glasses/contact lenses: too many times…too many times 

68. turned someone down: some guys way back in middleschool I guess

69(lol). sex on the first date: nah

70. broken someone’s heart: hope not, don’t think so

71. had your heart broken: nah

72. been arrested: nah

73. cried when someone died: ya

74. fallen for a friend: I dunno man

do you believe in…

75. yourself: lol.

76. miracles: bruh I’m the Gamzee Makara of miraces ..kay kidding I mean idk

77. love at first sight: if it’s at first sight it means y’all don’t even know each other…can’t love sbdy you don’t know that’s weird

78. santa claus: pedophile, what I mean yeah nope

79. kiss on the first date: I mean why not

80. angels: the first person I thought about was Castiel so yeah, hope so

other…

81. current best friend’s name: Ludwig II of Bavaria

82. eye color: brown

83. favorite movie: probably all three of the LOTR movies..

Kay well that was fun, also it’s 5am cus I’m slow af goddammit

@oswald–copperpot thank you again for tagging me, this was dope :)

#im tagging this as #tag #cus idk what else to tag it with #personal #oswald-copperpot

[ultimategoob]

89 truths

Tagged by someone who wants to stay anonymous THE LAST..  1. Drink : Dr. Pepper  2. Phone call : Mom 3. Text message : “What would I not do for this man *a picture of Yugyeom attached*" 4. Song you listened to : Bullshit by G Dragon 5. Time you cried : After I got home from work bc I'm a mess HAVE YOU EVER 6. Dated someone twice : Yes 7. Been cheated on : Yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it : Yes 9. Lost someone special : they didn't die we stopped talking 10. Been depressed : yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up : never drank boiii LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS 1. Green 2. Pastel Blue 3. Yellow IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. Made new friends : Yes 16. Fallen out of love : Yes 17. Laughed until you cried : Omg yeah 18. Found someone was talking about you : yeah lmao 19. Met someone who changed you : yes I didn't use to be kpop trash 20. Find out who your true friends are : yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list : not in the last year GENERAL…  22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life : lmao like all of them basically 23. Do you have any pets : Yes, 17 cats 2 indoor rest are outdoor 24. Do you want to change your name : yes to arin 25. What did you do for your last birthday : I just hanged out with a friend 26. What time did you wake up : 10 am  27. What were you doing at midnight last night : watching Vixx music videos 28. Name something you cannot wait for : I CAN'T WAIT TO ACTUALLY REMEMBER ALL THE SEVENTEEN MEMBERS AND NOT FORGET SEUNGKWAN AND MINGYU 29. When was the last time you saw your mother :  like a minute ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : how much money I was making 31. What are you listening to right now : Bullshit by G Dragon 32. Have you ever talked to a person called Tom : yes there was a guy on my old bus named Tom and he was annoying 33. Something that is getting on your nerves : PEOPLE HATING ON DREAM DADDY EVEN THOUGH IT HASN'T COME OUT YET FUCKING FIGHT ME 34. Most visited website : Tumblr and YouTube 35. Elementary : yikes 36. High School : Yikes™ 37. College : y i k e s 38. Hair color : Brownish red rn 39. Long or short hair : I can almost put it in a ponytail 40. Do you have a crush on someone : unfortunately 41. What do you like about yourself : nothing 42. Piercings : used to but I'm allergic to most metals so they've grown back up 43. Blood : I don't know Actually 44. Nickname : arin 45. Relationship status : single 46. Zodiac sign : Scorpio 47. Pronouns : she/her mostly 48. Favourite tv show : Dream Knight 49. Tattoos : I wish 50. Left or right hand : Right FIRST…  51. Surgery : I had an eraser taken out of my ear because I was playing spy in elementary school and I accidentally shoved it too far into my ear and we couldn't get it out 52. Piercings : barely pierced ears 53. Sport : lmao 54. Vacation : Dollywood 55. Pair of trainers : Idk  56. Eating : god idk 57. Drinking : idk 58. I’m about to : die because this question doesn't make sense 59. Waiting for : HOBIS MIXTAPE BITCH 60. Want : see 60 61. Get married : maybe 62. Career : one day WHICH IS BETTER…  63. Hugs or Kisses : Hugs 64. Lips or eyes : Eyes 65. Shorter or Taller : I don't really care 66. Older or younger : doesn't matter to me as long as the age gap is appropriate 67. Nice arms or nice stomach : arms so they can choke me out and I can finally die 68. Sensitive or loud : either 69. Hook up or relationship : relationship 70. Troublemaker or hesitant : either I guess? HAVE YOU EVER…  71. Kissed a stranger : no 72. Drank hard liquor : no 73. Lost glasses/contact lenses : no 74. Turned someone down : yes 75. Sex on first date : no 76. Broken someone’s heart : yes 77. Had your heart broken : no 78. Been arrested : no 79. Cried when someone died : yes 80. Fallen for a friend : yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN…  81. Yourself : no 82. Miracles : no 83. Love at first sight : no 84. Santa Claus : no 85. Kiss on the first date : depends on how long you had been talking leading up to it imo 86. Angels : angels do exist look at BTS and GOT7 OTHER…. 87. Current best friend’s name : friends, Arijana, Amanda, Maki, and Dragon. 88. Eye color : Hazel  89. Favorite movie : Big Hero 6 I tag whoever the fuck wants to waste an hour

#ayy sorry it took so long

[juushika]

travel to first city > get out of habit of playing Zelda in sleep-deprived travel and recovery days > stall out > pick game back up same day we started playing Dark Souls III again and wow the games do not mesh > oh well > travel to other city again, can’t play Dark Souls while here > tl;dr finally beat The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

My liveblog from ~50% to the end: game events, Navi as mechanic, time travel???, so much metadata, Gerudo are the very best, cyclical narrative are fascinating and I wish I wanted to play the other games, etc.; it is very long!

me:  hello dark Link is in this one 1) this is the 1.5 things i was not really spoiled for (in context of Ocarina) 2) oh my god i have so much fanart of this scene what a well-done sequence! really subtle and eerie effects/use of reflection and clever combat and like not skillful combat at all “don’t lock on, try and sort of flail until you get around him then stab his butt wildly” but pretty and the fade-out is really effective! so much really good subtextual-to-the-point-of-not-existing narrative; fights with shadow selves are best trope?? i looked at that art again and! it v good! i remember finding this dynamic compelling even before familiar with canon in any way! but it’s not explored, just, “you could explore this yourself, if you want”

me: where is Link keep iron boots when not wear that they don’t effect his weight just curious

Missy: don’t ask they magic also it really amuses me that your biggest connection to OoT is “i have sexy pics of Link and dark Link”

me: what is the logic of traveling BACK to kid Link??? (there is no logic, i know, i know) “you picked up the sword and were too young for it so we incubated you until ready” implies that Kingdom Hearts-esque he grew up in the jar, time passed but he wasn’t there for it but then no! and he can go back! and i get it would be awful to put collectables/shortcuts and then be like ARBITRARY UNPREDICTABLE CUT-OFF POINT being able to pop back is polite; and having offered that, tying it into plot is clever but ……..how???? it work?

[future Juu: Spirit Temple is best dungeon b/c it makes the time travel mechanic part of the core gameplay, aka the dungeons; but the time travel still fails to make sense, here or there or in the ending. maybe I read too much into chrysalis imagery b/c of my KH background? but the original wording, “we put you in sacred realm until you growed up,” just conflicts hugely with everything else time travel does in this game]

Missy: in the room with the rolly boulders HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY GODDAMIT NAVI I GET WE NEED TO AVOID THE BOULDERS YOU DON’T HAVE TO YELL ABOUT THEM NONSTOP hey navi. you don’t like getting squished. i don’t like getting squished. HOW ABOUT YOU STOP SAYING HEY SO I DON’T JUST SQUISH YOU.

me: i am so 50/50 on why everyone found Navi so annoying i have this strong “it not her fault” feel “it the limit of her programing”

Missy: normally she fine but sometimes HEY HEY HEY  HEY

me: some of [the boy’s] retro game adventures in the time before waypoints are… interesting like it’s super immersive which is great more active exploration, less “mindlessly follow waypoint” but they forget that in the samey-textured-fucking-identical-rooms you just … can’t pathfind naturally i come away with this really strong sense of “oh that’s why we handhold” when actually! we could handhold less now that we can have unrecycled textures/assets and rooms that aren’t just boxes! but you still spend  the whole time (in retro games) wishing for a waypoint or a fucking HUD or anything in the world that tells you how go where [examples of retro games that fit this matrix: the original Thief series, the original Deus Ex] and i feel like Navi is that “in such a sprawling and potentially non-linear game, player needs an aid” Missy: esp when HEY WHERE DO I GO? HEY HEY LISTEN sorta useful me: yeah she's good for "how to begin next dungeon" stuff but for stuff like "what do these magic seeds do" "chickens????" she useless and then she breaks out the advice for "DID YOU KNOW BOULDER MAKE THE SQUISH" thanks navi, i had guessed

Missy: hehe yahh

me: there’s actually--and, let us still preserve my overall ehhhhhhhhh opinion of Undertale, but--there’s a great sort of hat-tip to that trope when helper NPC interrupts you while doing a puzzle so that you are forced to “fail” it (need to push three buttons; NPC: “I’ll help you with timing!!”; reminder re: timing forces you to fail timing lol) god aren’t vidya games cool they’re like 50% experience/feelings/narrative and 50% mechanics/game design it’s so interesting!!! i have feelings!!!! 

me: Bongo Bongo actually fav boss so far WITH savestates without, probably hell but with, save stating becomes another mechanic, another move to time, like saving after stunning second hand so i can make sure eye of truth + counter eye + dmg, and then reset to save state if i miss one of those steps which happens a lot pacing great with savestates, very tense without, probably just ragey

Missy: yes and yes

[future Juu: this became a consistent theme. I started using save states to avoid the constant walking back each time I returned to the game, but they universally made combat feel more strategic and dependent on my actions, and less flaily and dependent on ehhh controls]

me: hello yes the Gerudo are extremely interesting is very Amazons

Missy: yes except Ganondork

me: like in any single-sex society, even those created by feminists (Joanna Russ, Nicola Griffith) i want more interrogation of sex=gender, how gender binary works when part of the binary is super unrepresented, characters forgoing binary entirely, etc. esp. interesting here b/c they 1) do have very rare males 2) have contact with non-Gerudo men, so they’re exposed to a gender binary, but how does that impact their culture “occasionally a man and then he becomes king of everything” is super icky for obvious reasons but i wonder what the on-the-ground view of that is, like, they have their own leadership roles, 100 years is a long time to be periodically self-sustaining, does the average citizen even care is it a figurehead monarchy “they just wear the pretty crown and look important; meanwhile, we rule ourselves” system fucked up every cycle that Ganandorf shows up to be ~evil~

me: obviously they do enough breeding outside their race to sustain it, but their culture is actually pretty self-contained/even xenophobic, so how does culture sharing work, how does race work???? Gerudo have distinct skin tone, but are breeding with whiter people presumably a lot, what does mixed race look like??? or b/c ~magic~ is that not a thing, are the daughters all just Gerudo wiki says we unno if they have contact with bio fathers, is there any cultural sharing??? what does Gerudo family unit look like; j/k it’s a “a lesbian and her extended lesbian family”

Missy: Keep in mind Historically speaking *every* Gerudo male in known history is Ganondork Following every game And every timeline So the king of everything may not be so much icky political as Gerudo + triforce of power = Ganon king of Gerudo/evil = harbinger of end of world and Hyrule reset

me: so, Dark Souls-like, we’re sort of stuck in a timeline/event loop, looking at same sort of events in different times/iterations (maybe it’s a reverse Jesus, like, they had this prophecy indefinitely but it didn’t effect daily life, but when it’s realized via Ganon we begin a sort of cycle of the game series) Missy: Most interesting bits there are the Twilight Princess stuff Where the n64 Link is a shade waiting for end of world to pass on his knowledge before disappearing Because yeah--Ganon loop seems like public Gerudo knowledge But Link loop is less talked about. The hero of time is just the legend

me: i’m sort of mad that aesthetic/the plot is just hero’s journey/here have the same narrative 2023842 times makes me not want to play others while iterated narrative is such a great trope and does make me want to care

Missy: Zelda future is open world The narrative is apparently partially taking back seat So the future lore from Twilight Princess would be tasty for you (esp. since Hyrule is bigger and more history has been written) But then the open world of BotW is a different allure. You write your own story etc

me: but open world just so ……………tired the dumb shit one can do in BotW is interesting, i just i like, you know, a narrative or sense of purpose

me: i finish Ocarina i have questions so Zelda sends him back to original time, everyone happy in future, life beautiful, sages together & everyone seems to know what’s occurred or at least that evil gone now child Link shows up at temple, Navi is like bye bitch, child Link goes to see child Zelda does he tell her to not fuck up > Ganondorf doesn’t come to power in new alternate timeline???? b/c either she’s like, hey, i know you want to be an adult now, but time to be a child and live through the reign of terror until future you saves shit, OR they’re alternate timelining it and everything sages etc did won’t really exist, so why so long an epilogue focused on them either way the time travel still doesn’t make sense since all the sword does is pop Link in chrysalis until old enough to use it??????/ Missy: Ocarina -> timeline split the adult saved timeline is the one that leads to Wind Waker, i think tl;dr Link saves world and then goes poof oops

me: “Regardless, Ocarina of Time has always been one of the centerpoint games in the chronology, with the events at the end of the game, where Zelda sends Link back to his youth, splitting the timeline.” (source) okay okay that’s a thing

Missy: yeah so Twilight Princess is the other branch

me: Zelda: still fucking things up sorta gj Zelda she is the center of everything isn’t she, i guess, like, thus the title

Missy: yes she is Ganon-Link-Zelda triforce

me: “When the official timeline was revealed in Hyrule Historia, the placement of Ocarina of Time in the series was revealed to be of even greater value, as the events of the game actually split the series’s timeline into three branches.” (ibid.)

Missy: oh yeah third branch we fucked up branch as in you lose to Ganondork and then.. snes game?

me: god i love iterated narratives it really is a pity i don’t care about the worldbuilding (except lesbians obvs.) and also characters and also aesthetic and also hero’s journey and also gameplay “Link is sent back to his childhood, leaving this branch without a Hero, as told in the prologue to The Wind Waker. Ganondorf eventually overcomes the Sages’ seal and attempts to take over Hyrule, but with no Hero to face the evil,” GJ ZELDA JEEZE like tbf, Link telling Zelda > child timeline is also Link’s fault and Link failing to defeat Ganon > grimdark timeline is also him so he is central, triforce, etcetc but Zelda is actually interesting and Link is mostly fridge horror so, shrug that said, it some good fridge horror i propose alternate timeline for another fanfic i never gon’ write child Link almost warns Zelda, goes, wait, what about timeline shit, nvm, decides to just wait it out seven years of increasing darkness watching bad shit pile up actually seeing it from the ground instead of in summary, it worse than he thought, “i done fucked up”

Missy: do a triforce swap Ganon comes out with wisdom Zelda has power Link still courage

me: Ganon wisdom = grimest dark b/c he would be smart enough to succeed wisdom is power really, it’s more effective longterm than brute force then Hyrule rip

#Juu metadata #conversations with Missy #Juu plays #The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time #too many to tag #but uh: #Undertale #The Legend of Zelda #Dark Souls #Juu watches other people play #Thief #Deus Ex #Juu reads

[lairofsentinel]

Ok., I'm back.

I've been… drowning myself into Mass Effect Andromeda. And man, it's a painful experience. I don't have the minimun requirements, mostly in my graphic card. :( I have a nvidia gt520 of 1 gb. The minimun required is around gt 700 with 2 gb. I have to play in narrative difficult :(. It's not much of a challenge, but when the encounter is tough (meaning, a lot of objects around and a lot of enemies) my screen freezes sometimes :(. I cry so much for this. I want a new computer T_T.

Even playing it in the lowest quality I can't do it in a smooth way. I played all the mass effect series in the hardest mode T_T to enjoy the adrenaline, but I CANT NOW T_T. It's so sad that they can't make a game for low spec. computers, with the same tech that Mass Effect 2. I don't know, but that game looked marvellous and so easy to deal with in most computers… meh.

I'm playing MEA most of the time with 5 fps. Horrible, because I can't see many animations, and when chars speaks, they desynchronizes with the sound, so … you finished listening Jaarl but then, his animation goes sloooooowly in the middle. Sad, Sad. And man, Havarl is just madness… with all that vegetation. I can heard my computer swearing at me.

I hope some day I will buy a better computer, or upgrade this one to replay this game.

Spoilers Ahead

About the game and my impressions.

So far I've gone, I spent like 50 hours in this painful experience.

Got 100% viability of Eros, Havarl and Voeld, and now I've visited Aya to talk with people around and be bbf with Evfra, but senpai is so mistrustful haha.

Fist the first: who the fucking shit suggested to give us a fucking Mako?? I lose so much time trying to go somewhere with this shitty vehicle with crazy directions and being a total bullshit to climb a land a bit steep. Argh!!!. I’m so angry with this shit. More considering you can’t go, like in DAI, without the fucking horse and enjoy the view and the banter while walking. No, you have ice or radiation AND lag as fuck to worry about. Meh.

About companions?. Hey, I knew already who were going to be of my like: Jaal and Vetra. Vetra is just so… awww. The way she open her … thigns beside her jaw. Little precious badass Vetra. **Smooch**.

I don't get along much with the humans. Cora reminds me soooo much of Casandra and the disappointment of coding a straight char as a lesbian. She even has hard crushes on the Asari, but hey… no girls. When Asari are… you know, blue women.

Gil is weird. I don't know if I like him or not. Most of the time I don't get what he is talking about. But I truly love his interaction with Kallos. I think that, being in my Pathfinder's shoes, I would stress a lot more about those two, because this is not only theoretical disagreement. Man, Gil makes modifications in the core of the ship and then Kallos undoes that…. That's pretty dangerous!!! fuckers. Stop playing with our ship like kindergarten children!.

Liam is another char I don't know much what he talks about. He is specialist in crisis, and I thought it was something related to crisis in battlefield. I didn’t see any of that. Then I thought he was kind of psychologist working with the stress of the crew, which could make sense with all his suggestions to make the crew work in a smooth way… but man, he is more stressed than anyone else – well, probably not as much as Gil -

Peebe is a meh so far. I'm a bit tired of Asadi, I guess.  I wanted Liara's father. A Half-krogan Asadi would be much better.

Vetra, I love her. I'm waiting for Reyes to check, otherwise, I will go with Vetra. She got my real-life-heart already.

:( Jaal being straight is another disappointment. Well, not much. I mean, I usually don't like to romance Aliens. It feels weird to me. Like… I love Vetra but… gurl, I can't caress you, that exoskeleton of you is so turning off, lol. Plus, you may give me a deadly allergic reaction. Less tempting.

But well, Jaal should be bisexual. I mean, all aliens willing to go into a relationship with a human should be, because as I said before, if you are into aliens, what the fuck bothers you a gender that may not follow your species' rules?. Gender across species is completely useless, because culturally and socially, different species have different perceptions. But well, there you got your highly repulsion towards gay relationships. Mass effect has been always known by that. (cough cough, ME1, ME2, and barely fixed in ME3)

Jaal being so open and free with emotions could be a nice thing to see in a gay relationship. It would be fresh air.

Suvi makes me irk. This is completely biased of my part, I know, but man… I detest creationists. One thing is to believe in something, even though you respect science. Another thing is mixing both just to fit your beliefs (something that nowadays it's such a sensitive topic). Like creationists.  

They lack of real understandment of how science works and how evolutions works. And the worst of it is the fact that she is a scientist. Not that I never heard about scientists with beliefs. I know a bunch of them, but they do not go to say this thing of “God is who created everything. I explain him because everything is so perfect, and perfection can't exist without a creator”. Like.. no. First, what we know of the world is that clearly it's not perfect. (Check DeGrasse Taylor's video on youtube talking about the stupid design of the life. It's a gem.) The good things that we see today it did it ONLY through natural process: if you can survive, you sum points into the evolution scale. You can't survive?, die. Stop  spreading your failed genes. Simple as that. Nothing of “perfection” exists here. It's basically “natural eugenics”.

But well, probably some people would like her. I feel so lack of options when talking with Suvi that I can't deal with her. Like… c'mon, I've got this conversation thousand of times, and my arguments are not even here to choose!!. hahaha. So annoying I am.

Plus, Bioware is always so worried about the “butch lesbian” stereotype, but they give a fuck about the “mystical cherry lipstick lesbian” stereotype. PFFFFFT. Another lesbian char that disappoints me :( so far. Beside, extra negativity to her because she lags like hell when I talk to her… it seems her hair has a lot of rending and my computer hates her. Haha.

Drack is so lovely. I loved 2 krogans in ME series: Wrex and this one. Besides, I feel that Drack allows you to explore a nice bound that we don't see much in videogames: the grandpa/granddaughter relationship. I still don't know how his loyal mission goes, but.. he is so wise and… you can feel his years in the way he speaks, but also that gentleness that comes from a grandparent. I love him.

Man, about the ketts and the remmants. I don't know. I feel everything is reapers.

The ketts are like a cult to reapers, to that “superior one” that the Archor itself has to follow. It seems.

Remmants looks like ancient AI, in vaults UNDER the ground. This sounds to me “the seed we planted to harvest later”. Fucking reapers. There are also many suggestion all along the game related to “how weird people felt” once they were attacked by remmants. Like…. Indoctrination!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (playing a prequel makes you play it so full of biases t.t)

Also, Angara are SO fucking similar to Prothean. I wonder if they are not protheans that evolved in another way in Havarl. They even have prothean's sculptures all over the planet… like.. please, bring Liara here, I need to talk to her about this!.

And you also saw that thing of “remembering past lives”. This is the object that Javik used to have in his room, when he asks you what you would do if you would see all the past times, the dead people alive, the old ancient skies, all again but then, returning to reality, you would be shocked by it, because all that is gone. That's exactly what that “family heirloom” does. I'm totally convinced angara ARE protheans. A different evolved branch though.

Also… did you see that fucked reaper in Eos?. The one that came up from the ground?. Fuck shit. I put s settlement in Eos, as the game forces you, but now I regret it. That fucking reaper asshole is orbiting around Eos, SCANNING it!!! WTF!!!!

But well, I will continue playing all these days ahead and keep sharing my thoughts about this.

I need to find Reyes before Vetra got me completely (I want to see if Reyes is worthy a shot, probably I won't replay this game until I have a proper computer because lag is super painful), and I have no idea when or where I will find him.

I'm still in the quest of bringing hope to the Angara and working most of the time in 100% viability in the planets I can land. I've just  been allowed to go into Aya because I saves Moshae.

I hate to work (in real life lol) and break my beautiful daydream of playing without stop.  Haha.

I will sleep so bad these days.

#mea #mass effect #Me saying silly things about mass effect

[groupie-inspired]

this is the most truthful thing about men i have interacted with.

if you are. a man. read this for the insider hot take !! from my female perspective

(girls may resonate)

like most of my female friends are lesbians or are bi yet choose to only date women and honestly. girl i am ready to follow suit

guys are just. hm.

and the hard part too is like i go for band guys and i want them to not be Awful but unfortunately i end up with emotionally unavailable babies because my father is an emotionally unavailable baby man and that’s probably what it’s about

i want to reform the douche bags but it does not fucking WORK for ME. sometimes they end up a better person but i never get anything from them for that and it’s like

i literally had to be your fucking therapist, your mother, your friend, your whatever and for WHAT

i get sad and i cry about these guys mainly because they won’t cooperate and i mean really at this rate i just feel like guys are fucking vending machines that i try to shake until one (1) emotional validation coin falls out

it’s like i cry because i KNOW im better than this shit and im like. bitch. you are so STUPID and like the guys also know that i am better than this shit a lot of the time aND YET

and there have been situations where these guys have LITERALLY been older than me and yet been less mature than me in so many ways and I’ll be like. he can do better, he’ll do better. but SIKE they will be thinking to themselves “i can do better” but wait fifteen fucking years to do better, and I probably will never even get to see the results of my literal LABOR at this point

like y’all should’ve paid me for showing you the light I never used to feel this way but now. You All Have Changed Me. so good on you

and part of it to is like. have y’all ever seen a nike commercial????

Just Do It

just fucking like. stop thinking about every little thing like what if I won’t work what if this what if I don’t want this and it’s like

you will never even KNOW IF YOU NEVER SPEAK TO ME NORMALLY LASHWLGSOWGSOWGWLGEOW

and other than these guys I swear there are LIKE SEVEN GUYS QHO ARE ACTUALLY KIND THAT LIKE ME AT SCHOOL BUT IM NOT ATTRACTED TO THEM BECAUSE I HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PROBLEMS AND THEY ARE NOT NY TYPE AND ITS LILE. WHO DID THIS TO ME. and they’re all fucking friends but it’s not a problem between them because they all KNOW that they probably won’t date me and it’s like

what even IS THIS

who do you guys think I AM

like why do you show up only to run away why are you scared of strong women

like you go for a 16 or 17 year old maybe because you think she will take ur shit and also be immature & pliable but then y’all find me and I am not that and you’re like

BRB GOTTA DIP

i am not even your catholic school girl fantasy my school uniform has PANTS. PANTS!!!!!!!!

I just wanna know why so many men go about life acting like other people aren’t even something to truly be concerned with. It’s always like. How could this benefit ME? and it’s like. Other People Exist.

like if I sent you a pic of me in my bra can you maybe pretend to have HALF AN EMOTION FOR ME

because it was fucking YOU WHO STARTED THIS

like why did YOU do this????????

99% of the time i Was Just Minding My Own Business

and it’s like sure man im glad you’re having a good time assessing your options but have you considered the fact that this is not a FUCKING SHELF in the CLEARANCE section at TARGET

it’s not like one of them is gonna be labeled 50% off or something and there will be less risk associated

yet you still are out here acting like each and every “option” is!!! Buy One Get One Free!!!!

and you know what this the TRUTH and I don’t even care if y’all don’t like me anymore!!!!!!!

you act like A FOOL a literal FOOL. send in the CLOWNS my DUDE

and I bet a man won’t even read this far because they usually don’t even have the attention span to say goodbye to me after they get what they Came for if you know what i mean

im tired of being nice because literally. do y’all deserve manners???????? i am from QUEENS so I am a BITCH and yet I try to be the bigger and better person in all these situations.

But I am just ANNOYED

it’s like i will feel strong emotions for a person and their reaction is basically like. hm that’s weird maybe stop that whilst they keep fucking rag dolling me thru drama after drama

i feel like i run some type of bs rehabilitation center. they show up and im like

hey. stop that

omg you’re right I’ll stop that

ok good so you’re gonna be more responsible with other people

yea

*they proceed to fall off the face of the earth*

I have had like multiple different variations of this kind of situation so if you are a Man and you think this is about you. in some way, it is.

i don’t want to hurt anyone yet you will walk around and just do shit because it’s better for YOU and not even prioritizing whether or not your actions hurt people who invested time and emotions into you because they believed you were good and could do better and saw the truth of who you were and didn’t let you hide like a fucking toddler

like I don’t wanna hurt any of these guys feelings but.... :/ I can’t afford to care that much anymore!!

so maybe like think before you get your dick out next time???? that people aren’t just things for you to use when you want or move around like pieces on a chess board to suit your “strategy” or “master life plan” or whatever the fuck

you’re a man so your success and happiness and love and lust is of the UTMOST importance all the time regardless of how anyone is impacted

it’s like have you fully considered that i, too, Have needs and if you can’t meet them??? don’t lie to me and act like you can be a FRIEND to me when you CANT

and then if you’re gonna say that you are different now and shit because of what ive said? maybe thank me properly by informing as to what the fuck is going on? instead of acting like you died or something LMAO

and I have had this happen with friends too where like five or six months after I cut them off they message me like Hey Lena. What Is Going On. like. you are gonna act like what happened didn’t happen? you’re gonna act like you didn’t take from me and lie to my fucking face? at my birthday party? BITCH!!!!

CONCLUSION (most important part i guess)

and anyway the truth is

if i invested in you in these ways that ive discussed, it was because i loved you. and if you aren’t mature enough to comprehend that love is not a scary word then I am not for you. because i try my best to love everyone and everything in this world, provided that they do not harm other people. if i did these things for you, even in my frustration, i probably STILL love you. and im sorry that, you don’t love me back. and you can’t experience the joy that comes with loving me, and the joy, and the loyalty, and the peace—the understanding that all people are connected thru love. i am truly sorry that you are afraid to have that, or don’t understand what that is. but, i won’t stop loving you because im fucking embrassed, or some people who don’t understand my philosophy think im weird. i won’t stop loving you just because some people think it’s “too much”. i am a lover, it is who i am, and i refuse to change myself for anyone— let alone a selfish man who can see nothing farther than his hand in front of him. every single day of my life is a struggle to maintain that love. i have never been shown love in the ways that i deserve, and yet i strive EVERY DAY to extend my love to the people and animals and plants that exist in this world. i have fought practically everyday of my life to love myself enough to keep living. to love those going thru challenges and who disrespect me. so truly!!!

im sorry that you don’t know what love is. yet, i hope one day, that you do.

#groupie-inspired

[quonit-aceattorney]

1-5 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

—

Q: I'm doing the next one sorry for all of the messages

wow what was even that opening

what girl?

febuary 2017. I remember this month well.

Q: Who's this girl?

hey she looks like an adult! Second girl without her main feature being boobs :D

no mai is dead I took her spot though, she was in the tutorial level.

:D yay am I better

YES INDEED

yes phoenix please I like this girl a lot

i didn't know my name could also come with one m!!! My name is Emma, I had no idea people could also be named Ema with one m

aww so she isn't an adult I still like her though

phoenix please she's only like 10 years younger than you

BF: Hahahaha yeah, Ema is the Maya stand in for this case

BF: She returns for the fourth game, which takes place 7 years after the third game

BF: Still not very busty, even in her mid twenties haha

Q: :O Interesting!

I like Ema.

Q: What age of people did they think were gonna play this game? If kids then why does it seem they talk down to them so much?

I'll get back to playing

Q: oh so that beginning scene actually meant something

She's know Mia because she was kinda well known

okay why is she bad

how did she even get in teh office in the first place?

hahahaha no im not trading my badge for 50$

what do you mean ''yet''

Q: I LIKE LANA

HER OUTFIT IS GREAT

Q: it's obviously a coincidence that the two siblings are so alike, but if it motivates you then sure I wanna get to the second game

Q: you're telling it from the witness' perspective Lana. Do you remember what happened? What was your motivation?

Q: hi cowboy detective please don't kick me out

what

I AIN'T SCARED OF NO GUN LET ME EXAMINE

Q: why are we having this stepladder conversation again

Q: this office looks like Edgeworth

Q: maybe you wouldn't be low on money if you did your job

Q: five thousand???

MAN edgy must be rich!

BF: The stepladder debate is one of the running gags of the series haha

Q: interesting!

Q: that and Phoenix (and later Apollo and Athena) presenting his badge every chance he gets, and cross-examining non-human witnesses

Q: yaaaaay I liked cross-examining the parrot. 

I still can't believe they let me do that

Q: wait a second the bundle doesn't come with the fourth game just the first 3

oh well it's still a lot

Q: examining the examined. This could be useful.

Q: yeah, no, just the original trilogy

Q: alright, makes sense. Are they still making games for it?

BF: the fourth game came out well after the original trilogy ended, and it only JUST got an updated port to iOS and the 3DS e shop

Q: great an adult woman with a main feature being boobs. I liked the other ones more.

ah, alright. how good/bad is the anime I'm curious

BF: and yes!  in the main series, there are six games total...five and six only came out in digital form for the US, no physical release

don't focus so much on the boobs, it's just drive you crazy

and Angel really isn't THAT busty, she's just got a bust emphasizing outfit

Q: huh, alright. If I feel like it maybe I could get them.

fine. I'm not eating whatever she just handed to me though, she doesn't seem very trustworthy true I guess, not really as bad.

BF: she very much does that on purpose to put you off your guard, btw

she's not EVIL

but she's smart as hell, and she's not necessarily on your side right now.

Q: oh so it's intentional, alright that's more forgiving than the developers just wanted another boob-joke.

Q: angle please we're looking for evidence please stop freaking out Ema

Q: yaaaay edgy! I knew this was your office!

BF: hahaha yep

his office is as frilly as he is

Q: "this office looks like edgeworth"

why is there a dead body in your car that car looks too dirty to be yours it isn't even purple

BF: oh and to answer one of your comments from last night when I was asleep...Phoenix/Edgeworth is an overwhelmingly popular ship, to the point where it can become a bit annoying if you ship either of them with anyone else.

or if you like any of the rarer pairings, period hahah

Q: edgy we know you didn't do it I'm on your side and always will be

except when you're not on my side

With how his dialogue was set up in that chapter I am not surprised how much of the fandom ships it.

Q: Phoenix that was a very cruel joke, remember the case two months ago? Very cruel.

Q: gumshoe isn't dead lol must be mia's fualt he randomly appeared in my head, same with maya

Q: ya why do random flashes of random people keep appearing

how do i investigate this

BF: hah...if it's the bit I think it is, that's just Phoenix connecting him to the INCREDIBLY NEAT AND CLEAN OFFICE

BF: which Gumshoe totally takes times out of his day to keep tidy because that's just the kind of stuff he would do for Mr. Edgeworth, pal!

Q: Well I bet the lunchlady and edgeworth and I'm investigating while edge is in his office.

possibly but phoenix actually commented on "why did i just have ___ randomly appear in my head". whatever I'll keep looking

I guess!

BF: gumshoe just a big old loyal puppy who loves Edgey

lol no that's the reason hahah

Q: gumshoe!!

still needs a better name

Q: I need to copy paste my reaction in a place I'll be able to easily get to later because this will probably be very valuable to me later on.

(Edit: Fuck me for making me do this)

Q: edgy tell me what the trophy thing is

no mumbling

edgy you did good why are you being so defensive over the shield

Q: well the fact it's broken could be important so please tell us

Q: oh ya! I can examine the examined now :D

Q: well 5:12 and 5:15 are very close to each other so this is important that they are so precise

who's this cartoony cop!!! he doesn't look like he's drawn in the same style as everyone else in the game!

Q: noooo i want the report

Q: Edgeworth in the Wild: A Documentary

Q: YABADABADOO

Ema why

Q: huh, so apparently phoenix doesn't just teleport? man that must be so annoying when I don't know where I'm going for them

Q: blue badger looks like a pokemon that is why he seems familiar

Q: yaaay i found gumshoe

ema knows too much poor edgeworth indeed, I hope soon he can get a break

dance till you die

Q: "they make a good pair" so I guess this game isn't against gays, cool.

Q: well i mean the letter probably will get us somewhere if this game is going to progress

Q: oh so is Angel dating Marshal? What a turn of events

yaaaay i can get in now

...I just realized I can use headphones on a DS... Interesting....

Q: the music hahaha. Marshal theme song

Q: don't think too hard on cannibalism and you'll be fine

Q: Marshal is fun

BF: hee hee yeah, I like him.

Q: "well if phoenix showing his badge to everyone is a running joke guess I better help with that by showing it to everyone".

This case is pretty fun so far, not even a single irritating thing yet

BF: LIke Ema and Lana, Jake Marshall is actually deliberately made to be sort of a nod to another pre-existing character haha.

BF: and yeah, Rise from the Ashes is a good case!  I remember finding some of the trial segments to be tricky, but overall, it's solid

tQ: "Noe to self: when finding evidence, think of Texas"

who is this pre-existing character?

BF: and it makes good use of the new mechanics that were introduced for the DS

Q: it does!

BF: you won't meet him until the third game haha

but yeah...Ema and Lana are clearly meant to be nods to Maya and Mia

BF: Jake, less obviously, is sort of a nod to Godot

Q: and thankfully this gets Phoenix motivated again

godot... who's that? I should probably know

BF: Godot plays a MAJOR part in the third game, you'll know him the second you see him.

He...stands out.

to put it mildly.

Q: can't wait to meet him

when will the Y guy (shack guy DL-6) appear again he's already pretty interesting that's probably spoilers

BF: Yanni Yogi?  He only appears in that case, sadly.

though there's a background reference to him in one of the spinoff games.

BF: He's one of Zarla's faves

Q: I assumed... he seems pretty interesting, sad he had to leave so soon. As you saw I was REALLY shocked when a character zarla drew appeared that I didn't even know would be in the game... sad to see him leave so soon.

Q: forgot to talk with Marshall, maybe I can progress through this

oh yay the autopsy report

Q: tell me about yourself marshall, how long has your cowboy career been going on?

why would you kick out gumshoe!!!

D: I don't know if I should break the news to him or not

Q: well that isn't even an option so

the detention center doesn't even update ever

Q: uuuhhhhgggg I hate being stuck like this where can I goooo

Q: still stuck >:( It's been almost an hour

quonit

just let me gooooo

03/24/2018 (Two days later)

Q: FINALLY I DID SOMETHING there was a note in the trunk but it seemed to have done nothing... don't even know if the two people I can talk to would react to it.

as i suspected it did nothing >:(

I think the phone is the key but the only thing it will let me examine is the trap!!!

03/24/2018

Q: I asked my brother to help and he FINALLY HELPED

He found another scroll bar on the examination thing that I never noticed and found it :D

Q: no cowboy pls i really worked hard to get this far

Q: phoenix has a phone? how come we can never use it?

...what do i do with the phone?

how did my brother turn it

= and -... where are those buttons?

Q: going to my brother

Q: why not press the button again???

Q: where do i gooo

Q: i give up I need to draw

BF: hahaaha

BF: aaaah sorry I've been busy unpacking boxes

I wouldn't have even thought to tell you about those double screen investigation rooms!

there are like...at least two of those in this case.

the car park area and the evidence room

Oh, and because this took me FOREVER to figure out when I played it the first time: when you dust for finger prints, you blow the powder away by blowing into the mic on the DS

Q: I don't expect anybody to be on while I send messages. Do not worry, I do not expect responses immediately. Also packing boxes??? did you move :O

double screen investigation rooms? tell me more. If you mean ones where you have to move the screen I did do that a lot... and yet I still can't find much. I finally got the phone in my inventory and tried to check the last call but it still won't do anything THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT IN ADVANCE I GARENTEE I WOULD'VE GOTTEN STUCK

Q: Where I am si that I think I have all of the items in my inventory. A full page and then the phone on the next... am I missing something? I heard that Ema is supposed to tell me that I have everything I need

BF: aaah if you are in the car park, one place you need to check is the muffler of the car

Q: muffler? I got the paper that was in the back, I'll examine the car more I guess

BF: and yeah, the game usually gives you some hint when you've found all the things

BF: I forget if you can get it now or not, but there's some cloth shoved into the tailpipe of the car

Q: dont' think i can thanks though

I'll tell you what I have in my inventory and you tell me what I'm missing for the first part

Q:badge, id card, knife, shield trophy thing, parking stub, blue badge pannel, goddman's autopsy report, note from the back of the car, and cell phone

BF: hmmm....and you've shown absolutely everything to everyone and poked at everything on every available screen?

Q: yeeeesssss

:( I'll try again

BF: (oh and to answer your earlier question, yes, I did move into my house today)

Q: yaaaaay

shouldn't there be a wiki or something for this that says what to do

BF: if you are absolutely stuck, I'd look up the Games FAQ walktrough

Q: :(

why does this game make me so stuck all of the time

BF: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/925589-phoenix-wright-ace-attorney/faqs/44304    here, this one is spoiler free, you just gotta get down to the right case

Q: :D thank youuuu

Q: :O HEY IT WORKED

HOW DID I NOT NOTICED THIS

Q: Lana why are you not on edgy's side

Q: of course you don't know everything going on here phoenix, if you did we would win but right now we don't win

this game but we know everything beforehand

Don't believe your client, just believe in them. got it.

Q: oh ya angle exists i forgot about her

BF: haha FIGURING OUT WHY LANA IS DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING IS A BIG PART OF THIS CASE

Q: BACK

I had to trim the grass in the front yard. We got an actual letter saying that we needed to so that was odd. It's done now though

angel will never stop talking, and Edge doesn't seem as annoyed as some of the others. huh.

oh my god judge can't you be a little more professional ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO EAT RIGHT NOW

Q: you decline every offer phoenix until an impossible one pops up. Phoenix why

Q: If you hate prosecutors so much then maybe you could help me

please I'm begging

Q: wait you have more then one boyfriend

did i hear that wrong

ugh so she does

"care to join" If that is what I have to do to get information out of you!

BF: hahaha

yes, Angel and her many boyfriends

Q: Ema's notes are funny

BF: this boyfriend, that boyfriend, the other boyfriend

you know, as you do

Q: "the yet another boyfriend is still open"

I'd like to know who is who

Q: wait isn't B block for defense attorneys not visitors?

Q: how she names them reminds me of the chicken 'mine'

"That's mine, that one's also mine, that's another one of mine, that one is yours, and that one is not yours." we actually considered naming our chickens that haha

Q: Ema is learning my table-slamming technique.

Q: "my boyfriend worked in the photography division" WHICH boyfriend?

Q: "Prosecutors are, by nature, well-versed in the location of a man's vital organs" I already had to prove with twice Edgy did NOT murder anybody!

yes phoenix kill the egg

Q: okay so i learnt as much as I could while pressing, and there seems nothing wrong... I need to find the objection item

Q: THE LEFT-RIGHT HAND TRICK

ALWAYS WORKS

Q: EDGEWORTH

HOW COULD YOU SILENTLY SAY OBJECTION YOU HAVE BERTAYED ME

ALWAYS OBJECT

Q: of course it was planned! We already established whoever the killer is planned to do it in edgeworth's car

Q: "mommy, are prosecutors bad people?" hahaha oh my god

yes lets tell the audience how to commit murder

edgy that pun was terrible and you know it

Q: Ema what is that note

you can't smell his breath from over here what

I do have an objection!

Q: I'd like to know how she got into the food business

Ema you're on MY side

Q: remember?

Q: it's so rare when the thing I immediately think of and object with actually works and the characters see what i see

Edgy you look like you're on my side

Q: Ema do you hate me

Q: The person that seems most on my side in this case is f***ing edgeworth and he is actually the one pitted against me so you're all failures.

Q: >:(

I got so stuck at this part and had to retry a few times and I finally gave up and went to the tutorial and that isn't helping

FLOOR PLANS WHY DON'T YOU WORK

Q: :(

Q: Why can't I just gooooo none of the evidence I have works at all

Q: I PROGRESSED AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I PRESSED

UHHHH

Q: OHMYGOD THE FLOOR PLANS FINALLY WORKED

WHAT CHANGED

Q: she'd lie because as I said she has a grudge

Q: five minuets???

wow that's a long time

Q: if you have evidence please tell me

how was this judge hired

WHY THE SHOE WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS SHOE

what is this blood type it could also be common

Q: why does edgy continue to seem like he is on my side lol

Q: that brings in the question: how many lunches do you actually have in there

Q: if it does how come she was blee- oh ya the hand injury

Q: ohhh to wash away the bloood okaaaay

now to defeat you edgy

Q: Okay so more then one photo, I NEED MORE PHOTOS.

Q: Mia thank youuuuu

oooo the fun music started playing, im onto something

Q: "Yeah! (I'll think later" is the best line in the game

IT SUMS UP THE THOUGHT PROCESS WHEN I PLAY THE GAME

Q: Salmon swimming upstream in a river of quicksand

ya sounds like Phoenix

Q: the muffler in the muffler

Bad feeling about following advice given to you by Marshell??? What a silly thought!

Is something wrong edgy? why are you so upset?

what is bothing you Eedgy pls tell me

OH MY GOD ANOTHER SUPRISE CHARACTER HOW HOW IS HE IN ACE ATTOURNY WHAT ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

is he just gonna stand there or...?

Q: Udgey... that's a new one

afriad indeed, terrified I might say.

Wrighto... also new

Q: when i send my live reaction to the game should i have more context to what is going on

Q: rereading it i think i should

Q: I've been taking more pictures of art I wanna send you but it still isn't doing anything

Q: Alright so i opened the Ace Attorney save file and I have no idea where i am. I'm pretty sure this is right after the first trial

tiny village... where am i and why

i think this isn't my file??

BF: I was about to say...

Q: ruinion and turnabout?

what? something is wrong

BF: if you are in a tiny village, the only one I know of is Kurain. and you don't go there the first time until 2-2

yeah, you are in game 2 there

that's Maya's village.

Q: we fixed it!

My brother wanted to play and he mistook the game two save files as extra save files and he just decided "fuck it im not waiting for her to finish" and just started playing through

interesting :o

OH YA WE'RE TALKING WIT THIS GUY :D

swimming? why that specifically?

little worthy? is that a name?

DISTRICT OF THE POLICE UH NO I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY

aww so if he's number one he probably won't be on my side :(

damon gant, I like this guy

OH YA I forgot about edgeworth! Worthy haha didn't think of that nickname yet. I'll add it to the list. He must be very scared of this man

BF: hahah yesss Gant is great.

Q: so a muffler is a scarf? is that just another name for a scarf or is it a type of scarf?

he just keeps standing there and blinking

edgy back on this feet, finally stopped just sitting there silently in what I'm assuming is anger and fear

BF: it's a type of scarf. I can't tell you what exactly makes a muffler a muffler though. they just wanted to use the pun, though, I think

aaah the Gant stare.

Q: they seem to love naming puns, not just the people's names now.

"That's not fair!" There are a lot of things that aren't fair in this world, edgy.

Q: A WRITTEN APOLOGY

That kid from earlier in the audience: mommy is this how trials usually go? Mom: no. I am not even sure what is going on.

BF: hahah trust me, the pun names get more intense with each game.

Q: I feel bad for edgy haha

I can't wait

oh my god SOMEBODY JUST OPEN THE KNIFE

Q: THEY ADDED  A CLAPPING SOUND FOR HIM

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

Q: ...the note may have something to do with this

but along with everything else i think of in this game it's probably wrong

nah okay

Q: time to look through my items another 20 minuets and hope the character see what I see

Q: when in doubt press on everything

Q: good job ema! I'll examine the knife!

Q: SL-2... something similar  that wasn't a tag. again was it the note

OH MY GOD IT WAS THE NOTE

Me and gant both love 'objection'. I'm still mad at Edgy for that. I will hold it against him forever.

BF: hahaha NEVER FORGIVE YOU EDGEWORTH

BF: you and your habit of updating the autopsy report

Q: "Do you have evidence?"

"yes! (I'll think later)" is still the best line in the entire game

a habit of mine? is that not something everybody does?

I feel so honored being told "I win, Wrighto!"

BF: heh

Q: :D He'll tell me about the knife now!!!

Q: I only get to hear bout one thing.... better choose wisely.

Where the victem was found could help, seems like it could work How the victim was killed could be a little more risky but all of these are pretty good When the victim died... it could also be 5:15, and I could find a way to show it was planned... but I'm not sure

there probably wont be any consequences though

I'll roll my di

Q: it's 1 so i guess we're going with that

Q: didn't we GO to the evidence room?

Q:

Gant: :long stare: Gant: You two make a great pair! I swear this is intentional. It's not even just that chapter.

Q:

Gant: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Gant: :long stare: Gant: Sure why not! well alright then! I'm learning about it unofficially :D This is already very casual so why not

Q: why is the victims gender there

that is unimportant WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HE MURDER

Q: Gumshoe won't die Phoenix he was in the credits!

Q: alright now not only is edgeworth being called worthy he's being called little worthy

do these two know eachother???

Q: that id is the same as the one we have here >:O

Q: :D the fun music is playing

Q: EDGY REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID HE COULDN'T TELL YOU WERE THE CORPS WAS FOUND

IT'S ALL ON YOU EDGY IT'S ALL ON YOU.

 Q:EDGY WHY DID YOU JUST SHOO OFF MEEKENS

IT'S STILL ALL ON YOU BUT MUCH MORE DIRECTLY YOU THIS TIME

Q: oh my god NOW WE'RE DOING NICKNAME PUNS

Q: hehehe FINALLY Edgy looks like the fool instead of me :D

Q: What i think happened is that they were killed, and their body was dragged through the back of their care, and brought here

oh boy angel's back

Q: Oh my god ANOTHER CASE

WE ALREADY DID DL-6 UGH THIS MUST AT LEAST HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY

Q: What I think happened: somebody killed the detective, put the body in the back of edgy's car, Edgy drove back to where he should, left, later the girl opened the back. something about her stabbing him.

Q: no that doesn't fit

screw this case

Q: oh no I'm defending Meekens now too???

Meekens just looks a lot more cartoony then everything else

Q: why did they let him bring a megaphone

Q: oh so goodman's the villain.

BF: uhhhh...nooot exactly, no

Q: i learnt that quickly

I found gant again! he has his own theme song. Sounds like a king.

Q: Honestly I still feel bad for Edgeworth, hope he gets out of this.

Q: uhhhggggg I just got stuck i really wanna figure this out fast instead of wandering around forever. Not sure if it's just with me or if this game just needs better... instructions maybe?

Q: In court when your stuck press everything. In over world when stuck talk to everyone again, present every piece of evidence again, and examine everything again. Then still find yourself stuck.

BF: this case is one of the worst for that sort of thing, I'll admit. I've played it multiple times and there are still places where I forget how to proceed

Q: I don't like using the tutorial at all but I've had to use it twice to proceed, at least I have that. When this game came out people would just be stuck and never get to f***ing leave, and when they did they would be like "THAT WAS IT THE WHOLE TIME I MUST BE DUMB". Are the later games better at this?

Gant: If somebody just walked up to me and asked for 50$, i'd give them 50$! in that case can i have 50$

Q: You know I want to get to the evidence room but why not let's just sit here and talk with Marshell for another 6 hours

Q: I can finally go the the evidence room yaaaay

Q: See, Gumshoe's got the right idea on those 50$

BF: it varies by case, I'm not going to lie!

Game 2 has some added trickiness because it introduces a new mechanic during investigation mode.

said method is a touch more refined in the third game.

Q: in your opinion what is the best game (random question)

general stuff happens, i didn't comment on it

Q: I'm sorry, the game wants me to go to the secret room, do all these things, get no sign that I found then all, and then go to edgeworth's office???

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THAT OUT

Q: fine a little bit of a clue but this case really wants players to get stuck

Q: OH MY GOD WHY IS THE BELLBOY HERE DOESN'T HE WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE

Q: hahahaha I can see how you got stuck when the game told you the blow, It did NOT specify in the mic.

Q: non bloody prints???

I can't choose any of the fingers and all 5 are bloody! what do you want me to do im stuck on this sceen

Q: my brother helped :D

BF: heh

BF: Um...my favorite...well, tough to say.  Obviously, I'm particularly stuck on game 2, though on retrospect game 4 is pretty fascinating (both for what it is and what it could have been)

BF: Generally speaking, most people agree that game 3 is the best of the original trilogy, though (game 2 isn't hated, but it has this ONE CASE that is near universally hated)

BF: Of the spinoffs, I'm personally partial to the second Ace Investigations, though that one you can only play in English via  a fanpatch

I'm still playing game 6, so I don't know how I'd rank that one just yet

and there are two spin off titles that I have no way of playing in English at all right now, which is frustrating. No idea where I'd rank either of them. but the animation for those is PRETTY.

BF: Oh, but if you get a chance, one game I strongly recommend that was created by the original creator of Ace Attorney that isn't an Ace Attorney game (though it is allegedly set in the same universe) is a game called Ghost Trick.

Q: Interesting! I'll be sure to check out ghost trick. I wonder if I'll be able to tell what the hated case in 2 is when I get to it...

BF: hahah I'm willing to bet you'll figure it out. I personally liked the case, but it has some issues for sure

Q: alright. I was gonna start playing again if you still want me to send you the endless messages that give you no context to where i am or what im reacting to

BF: AMONG said issues is that it does what no other case had ever done before it, and it has a couple of cross examinations where you can get frigging penalized for a bad PRESS

Q: oh no D:

BF: It warns you when you get to it, but it's still really annoying

taking away my ability to badger the witness without repercussion!

but yeah no, feel free to ramble, I'm just here working and rewatching episodes of the Maxx

Q: >:(

I saw a post and thought of the judge from this game. "The judge could sentence you guilty for murder wearing hello kitty pajamas under their robe and you would never know” yaaaay

Q: About to go to the court thing. FINALLY lana is back it's been a while >:(

Q: oh yay lana gets to be a witness

nvm im a moron the cartoon guy i forgot his name gets to be

MEEKENS YOU'RE NOT THE KILLER

THAT IS NOT AN OCCUPATION RIGHT

Q: there seems to be a lot of talking down to kids in this game :(

Q: why do people let him bring his megaphone

same answer with the kid and his sword

Q: i mean i like the blue badger

Q: bet the tape won't help much

HEY ITS ANIMATED

well hey it was a little helpful

Q: 

Edge: :slams hand on desk: What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?

my new second favorite line

Q: the problems was he was wearing gloves

probably not that's what first comes to mind though

Q: or the light was already on

Q: gloves were rubber? how did i not notice that

Q: why would he need the gloves in there if he was goodman

Q: he could've stolen the card

who is the 777... card at the top

Q: WHY IS THE KID STILL IN THE AUDIENCE

WHY TO PARENTS TAKE THEIR KIDS TO MURDER TRIALS I'D LIKE TO SPEAK WITH THIS CHILD AND EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE ACTUALLY WENT TO THE TRIAL WHERE I DEFENDED EDGEWORTH IF YOU STILL THINK HE'S SO BAD

Q: :D I think edge just complimented me, it's probably going to turn into an insult though so ill just enjoy it while i can

Q: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu

Q: the fake killed goodman not lana

no that wouldn't work dammit screw you

Q: HEY GUMMY HOW ARE YOU

NO GUMMY STAY

HEYHEYHEYHEY HEY WHAT

awww lana's finally being useful

Q: Ema don't run it's just a serial killer

Gummy why >:(

saaave pooiiinnt

oh my god Marshell i forgot his personality

Q: please provide me with a reasonable explanation why there were bloody handprints of yours in the evidence room (and no ID saying you signed in but i think i just missed something on that)

Q: somebody actually messes up in grammer in court and one of them yells objection but its about the grammer and they keep fighting about i

Q: edgy don't worry just let me get to my menu my lack of experience means nothing

wait is he giving me advice? is he being nice???

Q: noooo just let him beeee

or not his reasoning was okay though

Q: At first i was sad to find out it was his brother now im just thinking COWBOY PROSECUTOR THAT WOULD BE FUN

Q: what do you think happened to your brother jake

Q: MY DEFENDANT DID NOT KILL HIM AND YOU KNOW IT

YOU JUST DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE IT FOR MONEY

you know i could put that anywhere in almost any case and it could still work (with a pronoun swap but aside from that)

Q: ARRRRRGGHHHHHH

Q: OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT YOU

YOU DO GET THIS IS PROBABLY ILLEGAL RIGHT

Q: edgy is being very nice to her yay

I MEAN EMA YOUR NOT USELESS YOU STOPPED HIM FROM GIVING THE VERDICT TWICE

THAT WAS SOMETHING NOT EVEN MIA COULD DO HE GAVE THE VERDICT AND I BEAT HIM ANYWAYS THOUGH SO :/

Edgy is used to me making claims with the idea "I'll think about it later" in mind of course hes going to scoff at everything i say

I PROBABLY WOULD

YA THREE WHILE PAGES OF EVIDENCE THAT'S A LOT

Q: hey hey jake's back i was wondering where he went

Q: "Just one moment! I will not let such far-fetched balderdash in my court room"

HAHA VERY FUNNY JUDGE. AS IF THIS IS THE MOST FAR FETCHED THING YOU'VE SEEN HERE.

YAAAY PHOENIX GOOD JOB

Q: why is everybody immediately blaming edgy again I already defended him from two murders WHEN A VERDICT WAS ALREADY GIVEN

Q: stop being so mean to edgy

Q: hi lana please help me

ocassionally what what i didn't understand what they said i need to know

awww how dare you now your going to get all three of us in trouble

Q: that kid in the audience actually as an adult took the weirdest trials hes been to and put his own characters in it and made it into a game

oh my god the noise of the crowed is so terrifying because it's on repeat i need to turn the sound off

Q: saaave

Q: good think ema isn't dead

Q: Ema it’s not yours its your sisters putting blame on yourself just leads to depression okay

Q: to lana. MAYBE SHE'LL FINALLY BE USEFUL

YAAAAY

Q: Deal with the devil as a minor so that when your older he doesn't have a legal claim to your soul.

that's unrelated and unhelpful but

Q: now to show you every single piece of f***ing evidence

Q: or not

HI MARSHELL

Q: do do do

do do ddoo dodo doo dodo do doooo ddo do dooo dooo doDOdodoooo

(Edit: do do doooo

do doooo

do doooo

(now go reread it from the top with those last two as the start) )

Q: no marshel come baaaaaack 

noooooo

Q: I just wanna get to 2-4

quonit

:D

Things are going well!

HE STARTED LUAGHING IM SCARED

LHIS LAUGHING IS TERRIFYING

Q: :D Thank you Jake!

Q: Well gant does make a good point

Also about you paying my rent Edgy

Q: I wonder if there are anymore choices or it it's just dialogue.

did I win??

Lana smiled at me :D

"stop it mah you're embaressing meeee" is how this dialogue feels like

Q: yaaaaay I win

Q: awww ema I she'll say she's proud of you too

Gummy you keep doing this

bring him back

Lana :D

Q: Maya will be very proud of me when she comes back

awww hugs!!!

wait edgy was hiding why is he angry

aww ty

Is Lana making you scared I'm pretty sure she was your boss at some point or something I forgot at this point

Q: oh nooo Gant make Edgy scared of who he might be in 10 years. Somebody teach him not to do that.

Q: Aww thanks Lana

the difference between you gant and vampire is that you have friends doesn't that makes you feel better

Q: bye edgyyyy

Edgeworth you keep saying that and it's wrong every time >:( please stop breaking promises

what a storybook ending

OH HI GUMMY

couldn't you make edgy do it instead i don't have money

BF: Did you notice you could do fingerprint powder on the bottom screen during the credits?

Q: ya! Can i blow it too?

BF: Make bonus images appear haha

Yep!

Q: :D

After this i need to sleep this is fun though!

time for game two :D

Q: will blue badger get to stay though is my question

Q: Hey so Angel will be on my side, it will just be in the next game!

Q: I really do think the judge it wearing hello kitty pajamas under that robe

Q: credits done! That was very satisfying :D