#can't see shit in my brain

[v3ggyqu33n]

Sometimes I hate having aphantasia, like what do you mean I can't visualise anything?

"Where do you see yourself in the future" uhhh idk older?

#aphantasia #can't see shit in my brain #reality shifting #autistic comorbidities #my sense of direction is appalling #i dream in concepts

[sidedoodlez]

idk ill probably never finish this

#ladynoir #wip #ml #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ladybug #ladybug x chat noir #marinette #adrien agreste #think this was based off some old drawing I loved a million years ago but I can't remember the artist or the drawing but I can see it #vaguely in my brain #add it to the big pile of shit I never finish

[ruegarding]

we do not have five entire books full of percy's philosophical thoughts for rick to pull this shit. if annabeth was in character, she would be looking at this architecture and consider what she'd do different (and since she's redesigning olympus, she'd maybe also consider if she'd use any designs there). her fatal flaw is hubris and it should be a staple characteristic of hers.

#haha percy's a boy w adhd obviously he's stupid and simple and can't handle philosophical thoughts #every time i think hoo isn't *that* bad i open the books and realize my brain has edited shit for me to make it palatable #this is relevant to last post abt characterization and this annoyed me as i was rereading the chapters to double check #anyway. this is a reminder that hoo makes both percy and annabeth wildly ooc compared to pjo #annabeth does what i'm describing in pjo multiple times bc that's who she is! she sees something and thinks how she could make it better #ESPECIALLY when it's one of her interests! #annabeth chase #heroes of olympus #hoo crit #rr crit #min talks pjo

[zivvis]

barbie doll gore mod where you can do his hair and put him in situations. it's exactly the same mod

#my routine is i wake up and i draw a gore who looks different from gore and also different from every other gore ive ever drawn #and then i play skyrim until my laptop fan sounds like it's gonna explode 👍 #gore skyrim #skyrim gore #gore mod #doll implies a lack of agency but tbh it doesn't feel like that since as a companion he clearly will call you on shit/take responsibility #can't believe how much he claims his own decisions past and present. galaxy brain necessity but also that is so fucking tough on a person #i just replayed blood ties for the first time to see how the other choices go and hooooo boy those consequences are immediate and dire #also the dialogue is so realistically subtle #parts i wasn't sure exactly what he meant before bc he trailed off clicked this time nd holy shit. #so much gets conveyed in those relatively brief convos #i can't wait until im a high enough lvl for vigilant

[svtskneecaps]

yknow what with the strife building between forever and bad and the ripple effect that might have on the server at large i think now is the perfect time to fridge bad. go touch grass, mr boyhalo, it's time to see people either fall apart or come together without you. bc listen. listen. when the dms are bumpin with 'bad can you ___' every thirty seconds. sometimes you just gotta steal badboyhalo and see what the fuck happens. i just want to know.

and i also want bad to slEEP GODDAMNIT

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #he ended stream early for once but i don't believe for a second he left the server #for the love of god freeze dry this man #like i want to see how him being gone affects the server at large #(bc he's such a steady support for egg parents + theory people + dungeon raiders) #(like the french love him the brazilians love him philza knows if he can't take care of the kids bad will) #(fit lets bad watch ramon while ramon and dapper hang out) #(and shit dude bad and dapper are attached at the hip like it was devastating in the days after dapper lost his life bc before that- #-you barely ever saw bad ALONE; they went EVERYWHERE together even to secret order meetings) #bad please get in the freezer and nap for like three days #i'm in a funky mood and i'd LOVE to fuck around and find out #tho i understand completely that the lore is busy with a different angle and i will not find out #((i'm holding out hope to find out sometime but i recognize now will likely not be that time)) #((the worms in my brain are curious and they would feast deeply on the answers)) #shut up vic #block game brainrot #it's 4am btw if this isn't coherent its bc i didn't proofread bc it's 4am lol

[kiwiana-writes]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Thanks @blairwaldcrf and @ssmtskw for the tags! This is technically only five sentences, but there is also some wanton semicolon abuse, so I think it counts.

The thing about Alex is, he’s always ten steps ahead of himself. When faced with a problem, more often than not the solution will come to him fully formed and he has to pick up the thread and walk it backwards through the labyrinthine pathways of his brain’s logic until all the twists and turns fit together; until he understands the steps to take to get himself from point A to point B. He’s always been this way, to the confusion of most people around him and the dismay of more than one high school math teacher begging him to show his working. The point is, he knows that what he’s looking at is how they get June home safely. He just needs to fit all the puzzle pieces together so he understands how.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tags below the cut and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

@affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @celaestis1 @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @hypnostheory @iboatedhere @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @lilythesilly @myheartalivewrites @nontoxic-writes @orchidscript @rmd-writes @roseapothecary @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @suseagull04 @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland 

#six sentence sunday #kiwiana-writes #wip: years of dreams just can't be wrong #calling myself out with this description of Alex's brain let's be real #and also my third form maths teacher who used to DOCK MARKS if I didn't show my working #but he was an asshole of the highest order for a multitude of reasons #also I seem to have accidentally committed to the Anastasia AU being next I guess #lowkey not loving anything I write at the moment so we'll see what happens #though tbh if the kings keep playing as well as they have I'll probably end up in the hockey bf henry sequel sooner rather than later #also this is baby's first gif lol #so if it's shit don't fucking @ me I don't care

[fishshit]

summer is over

#I LIED THE LAST TIME I SAID I'LL PROB NEVER POST FANART AGAIN #cropping or screenshotting makes the resolution go shit but i don't have another choice #(i think) #SUMMER ENDED AND I NEEDED TO VIKTUURI ON A SUMMER VACATION #so here's another thumb piece #i can't stop giving viktor those gold bracelets THEY'VE BEEN HAUNTING ME SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW THAT OFFICIAL ART #he needs them #i need to see him wearing them #yeah yuuri is looking at his lovely and pretty husband <3 #aaand post swimming victuuri #real ones know that post swimming nap hits different 💯💯 #don't worry guys they have nectarins and water #all the essential things to survive #anyway ate one today it was DELICIOUS #ok i'm done #BYEEE #yuri on ice #fanart #victuuri #my brain is not working at midnight i swear #*i needed to draw viktuuri

[nattousan]

when

whe you, when You were just trying to put i n some extra effort to try adn improve yoursel f and it got misinterpreted as malicious n u get yell ed at

#i'm slow as SHIT at carving the wax when making the dentures #equally bc of time blindness and being meticulous #i am VERY aware of how slow i am and have been working my ass off to try and improve #so when i got told AGAIN that i needed to pick things up #i asked my sis who is also a lab tech how she carves her wax #so she vid called me on lunch to show me how she does it #SO TO TRY AND SHOW MY TRAINER THAT I WAS TRYING TO IMPROVE #i go #oh! my sister suggests i do this and that to improve! #and she gets SUPER MAD AT ME #she GROWLS #LISTEN #you can't keep calling your sister for every little thing #(i'd only done this one other time) #I'M your trainer NOT her #you need to STOP being so damn meticulous and just Pay Attention #and i've tried being patient with you but you need to pick it up #and i was just like #*see above image* #she did apologize later but i think she thought i was like.... #trying to undermine her somehow?? #by seeking outside help?? #bc i'm neurodivergent and asking someone who knows how my brain works?? #i know she was just having a bad day probably but having adhd means #Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria #and so i went home like #aheem aheem whimper #nat chats #moi loif #neurodivergent

[sollucets]

wrote a whole long post that didn't make sense because i'm a fic writer not a meta writer and the point comes down to this: sand and ray are both Such Bad Liars

they have honest faces. nobody, in-universe or in the audience, is ever really fooled when they pretend things are other than they are.

when sand is hurt you can tell, it's in every line of his body. ray is expressive and straightforward but hides his hurt a little better, not because he's better at lying but because the hurt hardly ever goes away.

ray can see sand freezing up and looking upset when he's called a friend or not prioritized, he can see the lie, but it doesn't matter compared to what sand's actually saying and what it'll mean if it's (not) true. he's gotten a lesson recently about pushing. and sand, i think, can see ray caring but he can't imagine it could be enough, that he could matter the most or be a priority. when ray calls sand a whore it's the only lie he told that night and sand knows it

when they hurt each other sand lies and pulls away and ray can tell, and similarly ray lies and pulls away and sand can tell, and theyre stuck in limbo because of it. awful. hate it. 10000 more just like it please

#again as always there are other layers #ray pulls back out of self-loathing (less of me will always be better for the other person) and a sort of clumsy kindness and fear #sand lies out of wounded pride and longing for something he can only get through pretending and out of self-preservation and out of fear #sand is sometimes so honest it hurts (and when he is you can see ray falling in real time) #and ray lies too now and again to try to keep people from seeing just how bad it's got #also to be clear this applies to sand's girlboss gaslight manipulation moment too #like he's better at it than regular lying because he's had time to prepare but ray still sees straight through it #just bc ray ends up telling mew anyway doesn't mean he can't see sand's ulterior motives from a mile off #this is very melodramatic of me i know but like. this is how i have to get my shit out they are rotating in my brain 24/7 #i am actually also writing fic in another tab as we speak im literally overflowing constantly thinking about them #rowan chatter #re: only friends

[itachanta]

While having in mind everything I've analyzed and read about Vash loving and wanting humans to have faith in him, despite being distant to them at the same time, this scene came to my mind. And I couldn't stop thinking about Vash's scared and ashamed face when Nai talks about the chance of Meryl and Roberto finding out about his guilt, and implicitly leaving him.

THAT. FACE. THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION. I JUST-

That Knives, who is deep in Vash's mind, trying to erase and modify all of his most important memories, pulls out specifically those two while saying that, and while psychologically torturing him, is only further proof to me that Vash really cares about them deeply, Meryl specially, being his embodiment of all his hopes in humanity, of Rem's dreams, the one who followed him and was there after waking up from one of his worst moments.

And I will never fucking shut up about that.

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun stampede spoilers #trigun meta #meryl stryfe #vash the stampede #roberto de niro #I WILL NEVER SHUT UP #i've seen some people talking shit about meryl on tw and tktk #i want to protect and defend her with all my might #she is so very important #i can't fathom how there are people who can't see it #I LOVE HER so much AAAA #this is also a lesson to myself #who because of the misogynistic society brain washing #judged harshly a lot of female characters #while forgiving male characters for the same things #when i was a teen #my new mission is loving all the female characters in the world #i dont care if they dont go kickin ass #meryl may not be a fighter #but she is still strong as hell #the relationships in trigun are my whole personality these days #my gifs: itachanta

[pastafossa]

*heavy breathing* I decided to try to find a workaround for the long covid brain fog tonight.

Aka a new pot pot strain a friend recced to see if it would help me out with this.

It worked.

Do you know how well?

I just came up from a fucking five hour writing spree.

I'd planned to edit TRT's new chapter. And I did for a bit. But it wasn't enough. I had that itch, one that had been rattling around under my skin for months.

I needed to CREATE.

I NEEDED TO WRITE.

So I turned my eyes to the Raven fic's final chapter, where I'd been slowly working on adding the new scenes I wanted and redoing a few to match the new ones.

I didn't just enter the writing zone. I blew that fucking door off its hinges. I saw the scenes in my mind's eye, and I typed the words that came, and even when the words didn't show up, I waved it off, slapped in a placeholder, and blew past it. My hyperfocus latched on like a gator and did fifty thousand death rolls.

I wrote FOUR. POINT. EIGHT. THOUSAND. WORDS.

IN FIVE HOURS.

I may have forgotten to drink or eat anything so that's familiar too

This proves it. Getting TRT's new chapter written, if not edited, proved the words were still there in my head. And THIS proves I can still enter that miracle zone that makes everything worth it oh god i missed the zone. As best I can tell looking over it, this didn't fix my 'what word did I want here???' problem that I continue to struggle with. I still have a lot of placeholder words. But what it did do was remove my frustration, my anxiety, and my long pauses when I couldn't find a word I wanted. It was far easier to just continue on. It also gave me, for just a few hours, the ability to focus, enough that even as it slowly wore off I'd built enough momentum to keep going for a while.

Now I just gotta find a way to get there more regularly like I used to, without the herby nudge. Tomorrow I'll try the same thing though, only with editing instead, now that my itch has been thoroughly scratched.

And if anyone hears triumphant howling tomorrow evening, just know that it is I, Pasta, summoning the words again.

#I WAS THERE I FOUND THE ZONE #now i gotta edit trt's chapter so we'll see how that goes #hoooooly shit that was satisfying #even if it looked a bit different than how i used to write #my use of placeholder words still bothers me a bit because like #i already had to manage my adhd and now i gotta manage this too and it's a reminder my brain got scrambled by the plague #and that i don't know if it'll go away #but i think workarounds will be key for a while #i *can't* write the same way as before. i need to adapt #so this tells me i need to focus on placeholders and not letting anxiety use them to gatekeep the zone #i'm not sure about how to fix my focus yet but i'll keep trying #either way this was a satisfying experiment and I am SO HAPPY

[ghosts-cyphera]

I have so many ideas for ps!ghost that I'm struggling to know what to work on next. this is awful but also feels really good? but also awful because I feel like I'm drowning?? eek

#I feel like I can't hold on to my inspo for one fic just because my brain is working on two others simultaneously #maybe that means I need a break? I should take break #it's hard to recognise sometimes #oh my god it's 3 am #I thought it was like 1 #jesus fuck well that settled it hahaha #I'll work on whatever I have inspo for tomorrow when I wake up <3 #excited to see!! #lo talks #(too much) #I treat my blog like a diary on some days and I kinda forget that I have a shit ton of followers who might read these updates #and like #I'm sorry hahaha #they're so pointless but hey this is what it looks like to be me #this is my brain 24/7. it's a chaos and I've learned to love it lol

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Alright I think I’ve sent a ask in before and you answered it, I’m not sure if I’m just repeating myself but if I am feel free to ignore!

Alright I wanted to talk about changes in the gerudo culture, now naturally culture norms will change and fade as time goes on. But with the gerudo I can’t help but feel that they were forced to change much of their culture just to appease the other races.

Like why did they stop training Molduga? Why did they change their style to be more feminine etc.

Personally I feel like they were forced to change their culture so they wouldn’t get attacked. Why? Well example the sheikah, the sheikah are a tribe very close to the royal family. They will take out anyone who is a threat to the royal family, correct? Well who used to actively oppose the royal family, the gerudo.

I believe the sheikah still have a prejudiced against the gerudo because, you cannot find a single gerudo in kakariko village. You can find gerudo npcs outside the village thought, on the dangerous rode. Wouldn’t it be easier and safer for them to just cut through kakariko village? Unless there was still bad blood

I’m sorry to bother with my my insane ramblings I just wanted to share and I felt this place appropriate to share my thoughts.

Thank you for reading and thank you and have a nice night/morning/afternoon

Hey, thanks for the ask!

I mean, regardless of what actually did happen in canon, if anything did, I have to say that BotW, and then TotK's internal narrative regarding the gerudos feels rather worrying to me --for several reasons, some of which you do mention here.

The gerudos, by virtue of having the strongest culture that differs from hylians, is the one that is also the most dynamic in these games' shared reality (so TotK's mythical past, BotW, and then TotK modern era), the one that is the most malleable and ongoing internal change.

The first time we see the gerudos, historically, they have a certain political structure that seems to rely on kinghood, have certain skills related to war (the molduga situation), and even have fashion sensitivities that are relatively different to modern era's gerudos (the mohawk, etc, and I Will Not mention the ear situation for the inconsistent mess that it is). Then, the whole shenanigans with Rauru happen, we see the Sage of Lightning having a fashion sense that feels closer to what we know, and we get to see active collaboration happening.

Fast-forward hundreds-to-thousands of years later: not only are gerudos vassal to Hyrule pre-Calamity, but, while their town is still closed behind walls, the gerudos have a strong cultural focus on seeking (mostly) hylian husbands. We get to hear about the younger generations pushing against the strong rules keeping the city closed, and that the walls aren't as closed as they used to be.

In TotK, not only is the actual language evolving (so even if old hylian seems to have been a thing, the speed of language evolving is to be noted imo), but we see clear examples of the ancestral rules being challenged to the point of near annihilation. By the time we leave the gerudos behind, two hylian men have snuck inside the walls/forced their presence upon them, and we have heard of at least another group who have been working for years to make them bend the rules for their sake. Zelda came around and influenced their war techniques, and even their ancient legends get recontextualized as involving hylian men with the Eight Heroin, or as monstrously evil and something to seek forgiveness for in the case of Ganondorf. Subtextually, I'd argue we are assisting to a culture being assimilated in real time. It might be portrayed as a good thing, as old, useless or even arguably bigoted traditions being cast aside, but I still have to insist that while gerudos are yielding their cultural identity under (mostly) hylian pressures, hylians spend the *entire game* rediscovering and reinforcing their own culture and pushing forward a cultural heritage that is thousand of years old --even reinjecting lost elements of its roots into its prosperous future.

And, yeah. It's kind of worth noting at least.

#asks #totk #totk critical #gerudos #hyrule #botw #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #this is what I mean by: if I were Ganondorf (and no matter what awful shit he did do) I'd literally feel ill #ESPECIALLY in the context of the sheikahs being suddenly recontexualized as a subset of the hylians #one can't help but wonder: is this the fate that awaits gerudos as well #if there were to be a volume 3 to the Wild Era (there won't be but a hypothetical one) #would (hylians) become a part of their character profiles? #I do find this entire subtextual arc more than a little upsetting yeah #even if I appreciate the more dynamic angle to their culture #they cannot be the only one to question themselves #they cannot be the only one twisting themselves in a knot to repent and earn forgiveness #they cannot be the only one binding themselves to a child-to-bride pipeline deifying hylian men and structuring their future #around people that *do not respect them* at large #and see them as vaguely intimidating and stuck-up but kind of bumbling insecure exotic hotties #even link do not respect the gerudos' hard “no”s in totk (which I did find quite upsetting to play through) #anyway thanks for the ask and sorry for kind of using your ask to do my own thing sorryyyy

[buglaur]

HER <3

#sorry gale i didnt catch what you were saying there i was too busy taking 500 screenshots #bg3 #i'm SO bad at combat in this game #like laughably bad #my brain and tactically thinking are not meant to be 😔 #non sims #going to catch up with kmik this morning #i think i'll read it from the start again actually #i also want to make a sim for the office. its been so fun seeing the sims for it on my dash #it's so fucking hot today but the farmer is spreading slurry in the field #so i can't open any windows or the whole house will stink #can't decide if i want this place to be grossly humid or smell like cow shit for the next week 😔

[youchangedmedestiel]

Just got an idea for a jenmish photo op as I woke up. I'll probably never be able to do one so if someone wants to steal the idea, you totally can.

I'd really like to see it so yeah you'll have to send me the pic after doing it at least. Maybe it has already been done, in this case I also want to see it please.

Anyway, it would be about the fact that in several every scenes of the show, I we want to grab Cas and Dean's head and make them kiss.

So basically I'll ask them if they'll be okay with me grabbing their heads, but of course they won't kiss. The idea is that I'll bring their heads together and they'll end up pressed cheek to cheek, looking at the camera. I'll be smiling and they'll could do the face they want because I'd like to be surprise and I trust them with that.

#morning thoughts #my brain do weird shit sometimes #I think they'll find that funny #i hope at least #maybe they wouldn't want to do that #and if it's the case I'll be totally okay to take a pic as they hug me you know #who wouldn't be? #but if someone already did that and has a pic #please send it to me I want to see #this is about them #destiel #deancas #castiel #dean winchester #but also them #cockles #jenmish #misha collins #jensen ackles #can't wait for their panel to come #unfortunately I'll be asleep when it'll happen #but I can't wait to wake up and see wtf they did this time #my random thoughts about destiel #cockles makes me smile goofily

[pa-pa-plasma]

bro you are on the FANDOM WEBSITE why are you NOT supporting your fandom creators????? do you WANT us to stop??? do you want there to be no more art & fic?? because that’s what happens when you don’t reblog our stuff. this isn’t a threat, this is a reality. if there is no one here wanting to see our stuff we won’t post it. I’m not trying to guilt trip here, none of us are, we’re literally just saying that if there is no motivation to spend 10+ hours making fanart or 5 years writing a multichapter fic for free then we won’t fucking do it

^this shit? ridiculous. I LOVE EVERYONE WHO REBLOGGED & INTERACTED WITH MY ART! I LOVE EVERYONE WHO ASKED QUESTIONS & COMMENTED!! but so many of these people just liked it & left. this has been getting worse over the years, too. the reblogs to likes ratio has been getting crazier. I create because I love it, but if I have no reason to post, I won’t. fandoms dry up because of this. creators quit because of this.

we just need to stop acting like this is instagram, or that anyone cares what your blog looks like. people don’t see your likes, they see your reblogs. you want that favourite content creator to post more art? you want that writer to post the next chapter of your fav fic?? reblog it. share it. show them you care, because otherwise they won’t. this is a hobby we do for free. you consume our stuff for free. you aren’t entitled to it, so please just reblog, it isn’t hard.

#we aren't asking for money we're asking for you to hit a button #stop being a little bitch #this is tumblr. no one gives a shit about your ''aesthetic'' or whatever #no one even looks at who reblogs what on here #i'm sick of seeing people not sharing works out of spite & acting like wanting attention for our labour is bad #I SPEND 15 HOURS DRAWING YOU BETTER FUCKING REBLOG IT. I'M POSTING IT SO I CAN FEEL BETTER #AFTER SPENDING 15 HOURS HUNCHED IN A SHITTY CHAIR WITH MY WRIST ALL FUCKED UP & MY LAPTOP TRYING TO KILL ITSELF & ME #im not asking to be PAID im asking for you to share artist's & writers' works. we are 99% of the fandom's content #you want more content? fucking motivate us to make it. you are getting it for free. stop being an asshole & fucking reblog it #i'm so fucking tired of people with their cold ass takes #if i EVER like anyone's art & don't reblog it THAT WAS A MISTAKE. I MEANT TO REBLOG BUT TUMBLR GLITCHED OR I RAN OUT OF REBLOGS #i KNOW how hard it is to spend hours days YEARS on something & for no one to care #i am literally just asking for everyone to have some sympathy #like imagine if your employer started complaining about how selfish it is you work for free? that's this #you'd quit that job #YOU CAN'T COME TO THE FANDOM WEBSITE & COMPLAIN THAT FANDOM CREATORS WANT ATTENTION FOR THEIR WORK #EVERYONE WANTS ATTENTION YOU STUPID MANTHING IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING HUMAN BRAIN