#cant believe I get to use that tag | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawbubbysugar · 4 months

Text

Hero In Shining Flannel

HISF: Chapter 2

CW: Self-deprecating/anxious thoughts, toxic relationship scene Bubby note: THIS IS WONDERFUL AND IM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT IVE READ IT THREE TIMES YOU DID AMAZING!!!! <3<3<3

30 more minutes. 30 minutes and then you finally get to clock out and go home. You eye the clock every minute or so, hoping for the minute hand to have magically moved to the top of the hour, but alas. Unsurprisingly, it goes agonizingly slow.

You mindlessly think about your plans for the evening as you stock a few containers on one of the high shelves. You’re on your tip-toes as you try to balance everything on the shelf, hoping it doesn’t all come falling down on you. You could use a ladder, yes, but ladders are for cowards.

The door’s bell jingles, indicating a customer is coming in, eliciting a quiet curse under your breath. “Be with you in a moment! Just gotta get this secured real quick!” You call to them, using your well-practiced customer service voice.

“Whoa there, you need help?”

That voice-!

Without thinking, you let go of the containers and look behind you to make sure it is who you think it is.

“June?”

He doesn’t look at you, his eyes are fixed on the containers above you. They widen for a moment, and he reaches his hand out towards you and calls your name urgently.

Oh, right. You probably need to secure the-

Your thoughts are interrupted by a sudden sharp pain on the top of your head. You yelp, hunching over and holding your head to try to subside the pain. The fallen container rolls on the floor, thankfully undamaged.

June is next to you now, wincing in empathy for you. He sucks in air through his teeth before speaking. “That looked really painful. Are you okay??” He moves to put his hand on your shoulder, but hesitates and psychs himself out of it. However, the action goes unnoticed by you as you shut your eyes for a few moments, waiting for the throbbing in your head to lessen.

“Yepppp…!” You squeak out, unable to keep the slight strain out of your voice.

June’s shoulders raise and his face twists to a grimace, obviously not buying your answer with the visible pain you’re in. “I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough to stop this from happening…” He rubs the back of his head ashamedly.

You let go of your head and look at him, slightly confused. “What? You don’t need to apologize dude, you’re all good! If you had been able to do that, that would’ve been some cool-ass anime shit.”

June’s shoulders relax a little bit with a chuckle, but he still looks like he’s feeling a tad guilty. “I mean, I guess. I just wish-“

You flap your hand, interrupting him. “Really, it’s okay! Just a little head bump. It’s my fault, I should’ve made sure it was balanced before I let go of it.” You’re about to bend down and grab the container off of the floor, but are stopped in your tracks when June beats you to it. He lifts it above his head and barely has to go on his tiptoes, easily placing the container on the high shelf securely and properly.

“There,” He says as he sets his feet flat on the floor and looks at you again with that cute friendly smile of his.

“Oh, thank you so much!” You can’t hold back a grin. He’s so nice…

June gives you a thumbs up. “Don’t mention it!”

You walk back over to the register, June following you over to the counter. “So, what brings you here? Anything I can help you find?” God, you hope your store has what he wants.

June sticks his hands in his pockets, glancing at various objects around the store. “I got a sudden craving for some sour candy and I was nearby and remembered that you work here, so I thought I’d stop by!”

Did…did he come specifically here so we could talk again? There’s definitely other places around here where he could get sour candy. No no no, don’t assume that. Don’t be full of yourself.

“Oh for sure! We definitely have some candy here. Lemme show ya.” You walk through the store with June in tow, and he ends up grabbing a couple packs of the most sour stuff you have.

As June pays at the register, he gives you a cheeky grin. “So if you guys have ‘Everything Ya Need’, where are the pipes?”

Your brows furrow in confusion. “Pipes…?”

June waits a moment for you to get it, but when you don’t, his smile turns from one of mischief to one of sympathy. “Oh, you sweet summer child.” He chuckles to himself and sticks the sour candy in his pocket. “Sorry, never mind. Dumb joke.”

You tilt your head slightly and smile in amusement (and slight confusion). “No need to apologize! Not your fault I’m kinda out of the loop- oooooh.” You facepalm when you realize what he was talking about, and you suddenly feel like the most uncool person ever. “I just realized what you meant. Fuck, that’s embarrassing.” You can’t help but chuckle at yourself.

June holds his hands up reassuringly, chuckling with you. “It’s okay!! Don’t beat yourself up about it!”

You slide your hands down your face and grin from ear to ear. “I literally thought you meant like, the kind of pipe that’s in that famous painting. You know which one I’m talking about? ‘This is a pipe’.” You shake your head, feeling silly. “And my next thought was a PVC pipe! Oh my god.” You break out into laughter at yourself.

June snickers for a moment, but can’t hold in his laughter either. “Oh, dude!” The two of you laugh with each other for a wonderful few seconds before the moment fades.

“Jesus Christ…okay um,” You try pulling yourself together. In a split second decision, you adjust your name tag to make sure it’s visible and put on an exaggerated customer service voice. “Unfortunately, no. We don’t sell those kinds of pipes, sir. My sincerest apologies for the inconvenience.”

June catches on immediately and goes along with the joke, to your delight. “Are you serious?” He crosses his arms and frowns, but you can tell he’s having trouble keeping a straight face. “I want to speak to your manager, the name of this store is clearly false advertising!”

“I’m so sorry sir, one moment. I’ll go grab the manager for you.” You turn around with your back facing June for a moment, and then turn back towards him again, with a slightly deeper silly voice. “Is there a problem here, sir?”

June snickers just the slightest bit. “I came in here under the assumption that you would have everything I need, given the name of the store. But I’ve been made aware that your establishment doesn’t even sell pipes! What’s up with that?”

You do your best deadpan face and cross your arms as well. “Sir, that is not a basic necessity. We sell the essentials, such as food, tools, and household items.”

June pulls the sour candy out of his pocket, shaking it in your face. “Oh, so you’d call this essential, then?” He smirks.

You open your mouth to make a retort, but close it again when you can’t think of anything. You shake your head and chuckle, relaxing your arms. “Touché.”

June smiles victoriously, sticking the candy back in his pocket. “Hah!”

Before you can say anything more, the door to the store opens, and you tense up at the damn jingle of that bell. Ugh. June gives you a knowing look and quickly makes way for the customer, a young woman you don’t recognize. Well, she probably has been here before, you’re just terrible with facial recognition sometimes.

“Hi there!” You greet the woman, and she politely smiles at you as she walks past the register. “Anything I can help you find today?”

The woman shakes her head and holds her hand up, declining politely. “No thanks, just looking.”

“Alrighty! If you have any questions, let me know!”

The woman turns to nod and smile at you before going back to the shelves to browse.

June comes back over to the counter, resting one of his elbows on it. “So, you still got a few hours of your shift left?”

You keep an eye on the woman to make sure you don’t accidentally miss a visual signal or something from her if she ends up needing your help, but direct your voice at June. “Nah, only got…” You glance at the clock for just a moment. “A little over 20 minutes, thankfully. Almost there.”

“Oh, nice!” June smiles. “In that case, I can stick around until you’re done. Well, if that’s okay of course.”

Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you quickly nod. “Of course that’s okay!! I’d appreciate the company.”

“Sweet!”

Oh my gosh he’s gonna stay and talk!! He could have easily just left and gone back to whatever he was doing, but he’s choosing to spend his time here with me! Okay calm down, you sound like a teenager right now. Don’t be weird. I don’t even like him like that, it would just be awesome to be friends with him because he’s cool. That’s all it is. Yep.

For the rest of those 20 minutes, you and June chat and laugh, trying to keep it quiet so as not to bother any customers in the store. Finally, your coworker gets back from their break and gives you the ok to head out.

“Thanks, Bill!” You give him a little salute as you and June walk out of the store.

“So…” You adjust your backpack on your shoulders and start walking in a random direction. “Been like a week or so, how’ve ya been since then?”

June looks to the sky with a smile, thinking for a moment. “Fantastic,” he says genuinely.

“I’m so glad to hear that!” You look forward, trying not to stare too much. “Most people usually just say they’re ‘Fine’, or ‘Okay’, so to hear something as positive as ‘Fantastic’ is wonderful.”

“Yeah…” June smiles and glances at you. “And how have you been?” His eyes hold a tint of worry.

You shrug your shoulders and stick your hands in your pockets, looking forward. “Better than last we met, that’s for sure!” You chuckle. “But yeah, it’s just been the usual. Classes are difficult, work is boring…although, I did receive a plushie in the mail a couple days ago! I ordered it ages ago, so it’s awesome to finally have it.”

“Oh, nice! Who’d ya get?” June asks, a little more enthusiastically than you were expecting.

“Sylveon! From Pokémon. Which…I’m sure you know already. Sorry,” You chuckle sheepishly.

June waves his hand. “It’s okay! But yeah, I love Pokémon! Is Sylveon your favorite?” His eyes shine with interest.

“Oh man, I don’t know! It’s so hard to choose!” You put your hands on your hips in thought, trying to decide. After a few moments of thinking, you have to shake your head and shrug. “I can’t do it. I can’t pick a number 1! But I will say that I like the Eeveelutions a lot! If I’m being honest, a big part of it is the aesthetic of them all together. I have my eevee plushies in rainbow order.”

June chuckles. “Very understandable! The eeveelutions are cool for sure.” He puts his hand to his heart and adopts a slight posh accent for a moment. “I too, am a distinguished rainbow aesthetic enjoyer.”

“Aay, hell yeah!” You grin, amused at his antics.

June drops the silly voice and puts his hands back in his pockets. “So, was Sylveon the last one you needed to collect?”

“Nope,” You shake your head. “Still gotta get Vaporeon and Umbreon, and then my rainbow will be complete!”

June pulls the sour candy out of his pocket. “Awesome! You’re almost there.”

“What about you, do you have a favorite Pokémon?”

He starts working on getting the candy bag open. “Ooo, hmm.” He squints his eyes in thought. “Alright, yeah. I see what you mean now, it is hard to pick just one.” He finally gets the bag open. “I really like Luxray! And Obstagoon. Oh, and Rotom is so cute.”

“Oh, good picks!” You make sure to store that information for the future. Just in case. You never know.

June pulls a candy out of the bag and holds one out to you as you two continue walking down the sidewalk. “Want one?”

“Hoo boy. I’ll try one, but it’s been a hot minute since I’ve had sour candy.” You take the candy from him and stare at it a moment, taking in all of its unnaturally bright-colored glory. You gather your courage and stick the candy in your mouth, while June watches for your reaction.

It takes all but 1 second for it to kick in. You muffle a sound of surprise and purse your lips while shutting your eyes tight, your face naturally contorting to a scrunched expression. June breaks into laughter, which causes you to smile. “WHOO that’s got some kick to it!!” You quickly chew the candy and swallow, thankfully making the sour taste go away pretty fast.

“I wanna see you eat one!” You point at June, who has since calmed from laughing but still has a very amused expression on his face.

“Sure.” He pops multiple fucking candies in his mouth, and the guy doesn’t flinch at all! Nor does this man chew. He just lets the candy sit there so he can soak up all of the sour. The maniac.

“What the hell!!” You laugh, dumbfounded at his magical ability.

June shrugs, smiling widely before chewing and swallowing the candy. “I don’t know what to tell ya, I think it’s delicious.”

“Jesus. Well, color me impressed. I’m glad you enjoy it though!”

June hums a noise of contentedness, and the two of you walk down the sidewalk in silence for a little bit. You want to let him know that he doesn’t have to stay with you, he can go back to whatever he was doing before. After all, you imagine someone like him has much cooler or better things to do than to hang out with little ‘ol you.

“If it’s okay for me to ask…” June speaks suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts. He’s done that a few times now, you think to yourself. Stopping my spiraling thoughts before they get too bad. Not that it’s on purpose probably, but appreciated nonetheless.

“You said classes are difficult?” June asks gently, tone obviously careful just in case it’s a sore subject for you.

“Ah…” you stick your hands in your pockets as your gaze falls to the ground in front of you as you walk. “Yeah. They’re not even ‘hard classes’, it’s more just that I’m not able to handle the same amount of classes at one time as everyone else. Most people do like, 14 credits, or even 15 to 16. But I tend to stick to around 11. I’m in my senior year, but there’s no way in hell I’m graduating this year, or maybe not even next year.”

“Oh, I see. That’s totally okay though, it’s good to go at the pace that works for you!” June’s reassuring smile is so comforting.

“Yeah…” You look back down at the ground. “I know. Logically, I know it isn’t shameful or anything to take less credits than everyone. But it’s really hard not to compare myself to my peers. I do less class work overall than everyone else and I still don’t have as much free time as them. I just go so slow, and I can’t help but feel dumb.”

June puts a comforting hand on your shoulder and says your name gently. “You’re not dumb. You are going at the pace you need to go at to succeed. Even if you take a little longer than what society has deemed is the ‘default’, it doesn’t mean you’re unintelligent!” He squeezes your shoulder for a moment before letting go. “Let me ask you this. Do you think you’re being fair to yourself when you call yourself dumb and compare yourself to others?”

You curse your dumb face for breaking into a small smile. You know he’s right. “Uuuuugh. I guess not.”

June lets out a huff of amusement at your response. “With anything, not just school, comparing yourself to others is going to lead to you putting unfair expectations on yourself. It’s good to just do your best and focus on what you can do, not what everyone else is doing! Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I wanna hear you say it.”

You look up from the ground and over at June, who has a determined spark in his eyes.

“Huh? You want to hear me say…what?” You ask, not quite understanding what he’s getting at.

“I wanna hear you say the words ‘I am not dumb’!” He smiles at you encouragingly.

You stare at him for a couple moments, and finally roll your eyes with a shy smile. “…I’m not dumb,” You mumble.

June puts a hand to his ear and leans in slightly closer to you. “What was that?? I didn’t quite hear you!”

You can’t help but chuckle. “Alright, alright! I’m not dumb.” You say it firmly and louder than a mumble, unable to stop smiling.

June nods his head in satisfaction. “Exactly! There ya go!” He smiles supportively.

“Geez…” You look away with an embarrassed smile. “I…thank you. I appreciate it.”

With you looking away, you don’t see how happy June looks right now. He’s grinning ear to ear, grateful that he’s making a friend, and helping said friend with their confidence. He knows what it’s like to feel unsure, like you’re not doing good enough or living up to expectations. He doesn’t want you going through the same thing any longer.

Buzz.

You and June glance down at your pocket, and you pull your phone out to check the text.

Marshmallow🧡: You’re done with work now, right? Can we do some homework together?

You deflate a little bit, knowing your time with June is about to come to an end. “Ah, looks like I gotta go.” You look back up at June, trying not to sound too disappointed. “I’ve been summoned to do homework with Marshmallow.”

June tilts his head slightly. “Marshmallow?”

“My partner,” You inform him. “They wanna do homework. They might get upset if I say no.”

You quickly shoot a text back, letting them know you’ll be there as soon as you can.

June’s brows furrow in concern as he says your name firmly but gently. “You shouldn’t feel pressured to say yes in fear of them getting upset…you are allowed to say no to them.”

You have trouble keeping the worry out of your voice. “I know, I know. But I want them to feel supported, not anxious! It’s okay, I gotta do homework anyway, and we help each other stay focused.”

June’s concerned face stays as it is, and you start to feel a little twist of anxiety in your stomach. He says your name again, obviously slightly worried. You speak before he can say anything else. You can’t have the conversation you’re worried June might want to have right now.

“Sorry that I have to go so suddenly, but it was really good to see you again!” You smile at him, hoping he’ll smile back.

You can see the gears turning in his head, and it’s hard to truly read his face. His lips form a small smile. “Good to see you, too. Good luck with your homework, and I’ll see you soon!”

You wave goodbye and start walking towards your apartment. “Y-yeah, see you soon! Thanks!”

He said he’ll see me soon! That means he might want to hang out more, right?? I think that’s what that means! Maybe he wants to be friends with me! I hope so. But I can’t assume. Okay. Get into homework mode now, I can’t think about that stuff if I wanna get work done.

As you walk away, June calls to you one last time. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

You look over your shoulder at him, giving him a thumbs up and your best smile. “I will! You do the same!”

June smiles, but you can still see the worry in his eyes. You face forward again, and of course your thoughts start racing. Because why wouldn’t they?

Shit shit shit. I’m making him worry. I told him it’s okay!! What if I scare him away with my problems? I need to be more positive. That way I’ll be more pleasant to be around and I can be a good friend. Well, at least I hope we get to friend status. Are we there yet? I don’t know. I wish all of this stuff wasn’t so complicated. All I know is that I really like spending time with him, he’s awesome. Talking with him feels so easy and natural, and he’s so kind. Ugh, I really hope I don’t mess things up with him.

June watches as you walk away, and your tense shoulders and increased fidgeting don’t slip past him. He can tell. You’re in your head again, letting your anxious thoughts get the better of you. He knows the feeling all too well.

He wants so badly to help in some way, but you obviously made up your mind for today. He makes a promise to himself to find you tomorrow and check in. He wants you to be okay.

You finally make it to Marshmallow’s place, and the two of you sit in their room to get started on homework. As you both start pulling out the needed materials from your backpacks, Marshmallow glances at you.

“How was your day today?”

You set your assignments on the floor and smile softly at them. “Good. Well, work was slow and boring, but an acquaintance of mine came in near the end of my shift and we chatted a bit, which was nice.”

Marshmallow’s eyes flicker with interest. “Oh? Who is it? Do I know them?”

“His name is June.” You pull pencils out of their case, and smile to yourself. “He helped me when I wasn’t mentally doing well last week, and he’s just overall a really sweet dude.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Their tone of voice is hard to read, you can’t tell if they’re happy for you or not. “But remember, you can always come to me if you’re not doing well. I’ll be there for you, okay?” They smile.

“Thanks, love.” You return their smile, but can’t help feeling a bit uneasy. …Why is that? They just want to support you. You’re being so selfish and insensitive, doubting your partner and feeling uneasy when they want to help. You’re awful.

“So, what did you and June talk about?”

Why did that sound more like an interrogative question than a friendly interest?

You look down at your assignment, letting your eyes relax on the words and symbols that mean nothing to you right now. “Eh, just little things.”

“Like what?” You see their eyes looking directly at you in your peripheral vision.

“Well, I told him about my new Sylveon plushie, and we had some candy-“

“You shared candy together?” Their voice is laced with worry.

“Don’t worry!” You look them in the eye and try to reassure them. “He was just letting me try a piece, he was being nice.”

Marshmallow still doesn’t look at ease. “Okay…” Their brows furrow a bit. “Are you going to be hanging out with this June a lot?”

You don’t quite like the way they said June’s name. “I’m…not sure. Maybe.” That twisting feeling in your stomach is starting to come back.

“Don’t hang out with him too much, okay? You need to spend time with me too, you know.”

Not this again…

You put your hands on their shoulders, and try to give them a reassuring look. “And I will spend time with you! Promise.”

“More time than with him, right?” They ask, anxiety lacing their voice.

Your stomach twists in discomfort, but you keep smiling. “Of course.”

“Okay, good. And you’ll always text me when you plan on hanging out with him?”

“I…is that something I need to do?” You ask, slightly confused at such a request.

Their eyebrows furrow, looking slightly upset. “Yes! It’s important for me to know. Because if I call or text you and you don’t answer back because you’re hanging out with June, I’m going to be super anxious. But if I know you’re with him, then I’ll understand if you don’t text for a bit.”

You ponder that for a moment, then nod. “Alright. I can do that.” It sounds fair enough, you don’t want to cause them unnecessary anxiety. But another part of you is telling you that you shouldn’t have to tell Marshmallow every single time you want to hang out with June. But maybe you’re just overreacting. Don’t ignore their anxiety. Don’t be a bad partner. Or else you’ll be left alone again.

Marshmallow seems satisfied now, and starts working on their homework. You follow suit, and for the rest of the evening you have trouble focusing on any of it. Your mind races with thoughts about your relationship, letting Marshmallow down, letting June down, and if June wants to even be friends at all. You make a reasonably-sized dent in your work, but not as much as you wanted. Usually, Marshmallow making small talk during homework would have been a welcome distraction from homework, but tonight, it just makes you feel more anxious for some reason. Why are you so on edge? Why are you overreacting?

Late in the evening, you and Marshmallow say goodnight and you head home. You feel mentally tired, and you’re very ready to fall into the world of dreams. As you lay in the dark with your eyes closed, it takes an hour and a half to finally fall asleep with how much your thoughts were racing anxiously.

Thankfully, you dream of blissful nothingness. You think you see June in your dream at one point, but by the time you wake up, you’ve forgotten completely.

The next day at work, you’re about halfway through your shift when you hear that damned bell jingle at the door again. You stand up straight and look at the door to greet the customer, but quickly relax when you realize-

It’s June!

“Oh, hey dude!” You greet him as he walks up to the register.

“Hi!” He smiles in his wonderful June-y way, resting his elbow on the counter.

“Do you not have work today?” You ask, hoping it’s not a rude question to ask.

June shakes his head. “I’m on lunch break. I don’t have too long, but I do have long enough to see how you’re doing!”

A rush of happiness crashes through your body, and it takes a lot of self-control to act natural and not let out a squeal of delight. “Oh, that’s so sweet of you!” Your face suddenly falls, though, slightly worried. “Wait, are you going to have time to eat?? I don’t want to be the cause of you missing your lunch!”

June holds his hands up reassuringly. “Hey hey, it’s all good! I have time, I promise. I won’t miss lunch.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank gosh.”

June taps the counter lightly, looking slightly apprehensive. “So…how did homework go last night…?” He asks, hoping he’s not crossing a line.

You suck in air through your teeth, immediately looking off to the side awkwardly. I really did worry him yesterday. Shit. What do I say?

“It uh…I-I got some done. Not as much as I wanted, but something is better than nothing. I’ll do some more today after work.”

June nods his head as you speak. “Mhm, true! I’m glad you got some done. So everything went okay for the most part last night?” June hopes he doesn’t look as anxious as he feels to be asking about this.

You look at June blankly for a moment. Don’t lie to him! You want to be friends with him, and friends don’t lie to each other. “Yep! Everything’s okay. I’m all good.”

Your voice sounded convincing…right?

June can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment and worry. He’s not an idiot, he knows you’re lying. Do you not trust him enough to tell him? That could be the case, you haven’t actually known each other for long. Shoot, maybe he’s moving too fast. It just sorta feels like he’s known you much longer. Does he push the subject to try to help you, or let it go and watch you suffer?

The moment you see June’s face fall a bit more, you immediately regret lying. “Shit, okay. There’s a little more to it than that.”

June’s eyebrows raise slightly, but he makes sure to keep his composure and gently gesture for you to continue.

You nervously rub your arm, having trouble making eye contact with him. “You…you’re sure you want me to talk about it? Do you have the mental energy for that?”

June’s eyes flash with determination. “Absolutely!” He reassuringly smiles.

You weakly smile at him for a moment before letting your face fall again as you speak. “Last night, Marshmallow said some things that I’m not quite sure about??” You hug yourself, trying to self-soothe.

“But like, they have pretty bad anxiety, so I don’t know what’s okay and what’s not and I don’t want to make their anxiety worse but I just keep messing up and we keep getting into arguments, and it’s so stressful. I hate conflict, it makes me feel sick. Like don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad I have them. Neither of us have soul strings, and having each other makes us feel less alone.”

You don’t notice June suddenly clenching his jaw, or the way his hands tensed when you said that.

“I just…” You sigh tiredly. “I just want to stop messing up. But I also don’t want to have to set alarms every 3 hours to text Marshmallow I love them because if I don’t do that, they won’t think I love them anymore. I don’t want to have to tell them every single time I’m going out with a friend, I don’t want to have to bring them to every outing I go on, I don’t want to have to calm their jealousy every time I mention hanging out with people other than them, I don’t want to be pressured into doing things they want to do after I’ve already told them I don’t feel up to it.” You try to calm your shaking voice.

“And I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to make them anxious. If I mess it up too much and they leave…” You look into June’s eyes sadly, unable to finish your sentence.

I’ll be alone again.

June takes a deep breath, his face full of sympathy. “That’s so much for one person…I’m sorry. That sounds so stressful to deal with.”

“Yeah…” You look down at the counter, picking a random object to focus on in order to ground yourself a little bit.

“I’ll be honest, some of the things you mentioned are concerning. If one of my partners were pushing my boundaries like that, I would need to have a serious talk with them. Which is scary, I know. But it usually really helps clear stuff up!” You can tell June says this out of experience.

You feel a pang of disappointment in your heart upon hearing he has partners. Why do I feel like that for someone I just want to be friends with? It’s good he has partners who love him. I’m happy for him. I’m…happy.

“You’re damn right it’s scary…” You weakly chuckle and sigh again, feeling a little better now that you got a lot of pent-up worries off of your chest. “Thanks. For…for checking in with me. I really appreciate your concern, June.”

His smile comes back. You love it when he smiles. “Of course! I wanted to make sure my friend was okay.”

June silently hopes that he’s not moving too fast. Yes, he’s only interacted with you like, 3 times now. But talking with you flows so easily, and even when it’s silent, it doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. You seem so kind, and you want to do the right thing. He’d love to have you as a friend in this new town. A fresh start provides opportunities for new friendships, and he’s not going to psych himself out this time.

While June has that train of thought, your mind feels immense relief and hope. He wants to be friends!! I’m so happy I didn’t scare him away or anything! I’m so excited to hang out with him more. He’s such an amazing person.

You smile widely at June in relief. “Oh thank gosh we’re on the same page. I really wanted to be friends but I didn’t know how you were feeling about it!”

June laughs softly. “Same as you, it seems!” He pulls out his phone and scrolls to his contacts app. “Wanna do the whole ‘exchanging numbers’ thing?” He smiles hopefully.

“Sure!” You pull your phone out and scroll to your contacts app as well. The two of you switch phones for a moment as you each type out your respective numbers in the other’s phone, and hand them back.

“Awesome!” You say, unable to stop smiling. “We’ll totally plan something soon.”

June pumps his fist, looking excited as well. “Abso-fuckin-lutely!”

His face becomes a little more serious after a few moments. “But hey…if you ever need to talk about anything, you can text me anytime. Okay?”

You nod your head. “I appreciate that. That goes for you too, got it? I’m happy to listen and I want to help whenever I can.”

June’s lips curl up into an appreciative smile. “Thank you.”

“Absolutely!”

As you glance around the store, you notice your manager giving you a look that can only be interpreted as “get back to work”. You give him a sad thumbs up to indicate you understand, and turn to June.

“I would love to keep talking, but my manager is giving me the stink-eye over there.”

June glances at your manager, and back to you with a chuckle. “He really is! I’ll let you get back to work, then.”

You wave him goodbye, chuckling as well (his laughter is contagious!). “Sounds good. I’ll see you later, June! Enjoy your lunch!”

“Oh, I shall.” He gives you a 2-fingered salute. “See ya soon!” He starts walking away from the counter towards the exit.

“Oh…” June stops walking for a moment and softly says your name, giving you a sincere look. “Thank you for trusting me to tell me about Marshmallow.”

You softly smile, nodding. “Of course! I appreciate you listening.”

June returns your smile. “Anytime.”

And with that, he turns and walks out of the store. You stare after him for a few moments, feeling slightly overwhelmed with emotion. You are absolutely elated at the fact that you’ve made a new friend! But your new friend has definitely given you some things to think about, regarding Marshmallow. You decide to spend the rest of your shift focusing on your happy emotions, and save the uncomfortable but necessary talk with yourself for when you get home. You need to give it your full attention, after all. You don’t look forward to it, but you promise yourself to do it, because it’s important. Important to ask the questions:

Am I actually happy in my relationship with Marshmallow? Are we good for each other? Compatible? Are the small happy moments worth the amount of stress I have from them, worth the many arguments we have over my mess-ups, worth the constant reminder of my trauma from my last relationship? Will Marshmallow be okay if we break up? Will I be okay? What will happen if we break up? What if we stay together and things get better? What if we stay together and things get worse?

…Am I okay?

You don’t end up getting much sleep that night.

Anxiety Notes: And there’s chapter 2! Despite having been in a toxic relationship before, I have never written one before (I’m honestly still fairly new to writing like this in general). So if I am not doing it justice or if I’m portraying it insensitively in some way please let me know so I can try to remedy that!

Bubby if you’re ever like “hmm idk about that, that don’t seem right” in regards to your characters, lemme know!! I wanna do them justice and portray them correctly!

Normal Notes: The closest college to Stewart, BC is like 3 hours away I think? but screw it we’re gonna pretend like there’s one ~30 minutes away, okay? Okay 👍 (OH dont worry abt that, im planning on making a fictional town for the final manuscript edit. still based on stewart, but perhaps it does have a college nearby hdsfs)

I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HELLO/GOODBYE WOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SOUR TASTE WHEN JUNE ATE THE CANDY WHOOPS - Which is silly because I got the candy idea from that one drawing of June eating a warhead while Hello is just dying in the background haha, but apparently the lesson my brain took away from that is “oh! June likes sour candy and eats it from time to time” - soooo I’m hoping that Hello and Goodbye allow June to indulge in sour treats from time to time cuz they love him (LOL goodbye usually takes over when June eats sour things bc it doesnt bother him as much, but he mightve surprised hello by accident- theyre all still getting used to their situation!!)

I plan on having Hello and Goodbye in chapter 3! (YIPPEE!!!)

And final note, semester starts back up tomorrow so i have NO clue how much time/energy I’ll have to write, but I am also invested now so I am GONNA take time to chip away at it, just may be slow-going :( (TAKE YOUR TIME!!!! <3<3<3<3)

#submission #THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL SURPRISE EVERY TIME #EHGEHEHEHE YAAAAY YIPPEE YAYYY #So(u)l project fanfic #CANT BELIEVE I GET TO USE THAT TAG

14 notes · View notes

strawbubbysugar · 4 months

Text

Hero In Shining Flannel

Y/N x June Sullivan (and hopefully Hello and Goodbye later lol)

CW: Indications of toxic relationship, mentions of bullying/harassment, as well as self-deprecating/depressive/anxious thoughts

_____________ Put under a readmore - PLEASE READ THIS ITS SO AMAZING AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH IVE READ IT A DOZEN TIMES!!!!!!

<3<3<3

Buzz.

Marshmallow🧡: Why didn’t you invite me??

A small pit forms in your stomach as you see the text message pop up on your phone. Of course you made another mistake. But…couldn’t you go to the mall by yourself? Is there an unspoken rule that you have to bring your partner with you everywhere you go?

You have no clue. Social rules and relationship rules are confusing and hard to maneuver. Sigh. You adjust your body on the edge of the fountain to a more comfortable position and text them back.

You: Sorry about that, I was just gonna do a quick purchase and leave. I know you like longer trips to the mall but I’m not feeling up to that today

The 3 bubbles pop up on your screen, indicating that they are typing. Not soon after, another text appears.

Marshmallow🧡: Dude it only would’ve been like an extra 20 minutes or something. I’m really hurt that you didn’t bring me with you ☹️

The pit grows larger. You furrow your brows at the “20 minutes” part of the text. Last time they said “20 minutes”, the two of you were there for an hour, and you almost had a meltdown right there in the mall because you needed to leave and get out of that overstimulating environment and they just wanted to keep shopping. But you were their ride, you couldn’t just leave them there. It’s a good thing you had your earbuds with you so you could ground yourself in your music. If you hadn’t had them…well. Let’s just say the trip would’ve gone a lot differently, and not in a good way. That trip only reinforced your rule of “always have earbuds or headphones with you”.

With a resigned sigh, you do the only thing you can. Your fingers shakily type out your response.

You: I’m sorry that you’re feeling hurt. I’ll invite you next time I promise.

The 3 bubbles appear again, and your body tenses in anticipation. After about 30 seconds, the bubbles disappear. You wait for about 10 seconds. Maybe the message is just taking longer to send from a spotty connection or something.

You realize after another 20 seconds that you’re probably not getting a message back for awhile. That’s bad, right? That probably means they’re really mad at you. Your stomach feels like it’s going to implode in on itself.

You hate this. You’re not cut out for this. This is just like high school all over again. Why can’t you do anything right? You should’ve known that they would see your location and want to come along. Why didn’t you invite them in the first place? You know they have anxiety about being left behind! What is wrong with you?? You’re a terrible partner. You don’t deserve-

“Hey, you alright?”

Your eyes snap up to a young blond man standing above you, looking slightly concerned. No no no, you can’t burden a stranger with your issues! You put on your best smile, hoping it’s convincing.

“Oh yeah, I’m good! Thanks for asking.” Please go away, I can’t talk to anybody right now…

The young man’s eyebrows furrow, and he looks like he’s pondering something. After a moment, he gives you a kind smile.

“I dunno if most people who are doing okay cry in the middle of a mall.” He sits down on the edge of the fountain next to you, facing towards you.

Wait, you’re crying right now? When did that happen? Great. Now you’re crying in public and making a stranger worry for you. Goddammit.

Before you can say anything, he speaks again. “Look, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do, I’ll totally listen!” He taps his fingers absentmindedly. “Or maybe we could go get a smoothie or something and not think about it.”

You just look at this guy, dumbfounded. He would just…do that for you? You try to think and make a decision in the span of a few seconds. You’re now really stressed about the situation with your partner, and you were planning on leaving the mall as soon as possible to get to a safe and controlled environment. But on the flip side, this guy is offering a distraction because he saw you were upset. You get a very kind aura from him, if you’re reading him correctly. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try, right? You know you’d just spiral in anxiety if you went back home right now, anyway. Maybe a good smoothie and talking to someone who isn’t Marshmallow will be good for you.

You can’t bring yourself to keep up the forced smile, so you let yourself just look as anxious as you feel. “I mean…I guess a smoothie sounds good. But…you’re sure? I don’t want to get in the way of your mall trip.”

The man waves his hand dismissively. “It’s no problem at all! I want to help if I can. I’d much rather make someone feel better than mindlessly wander around stores.” He stands up and offers his hand to you with a sympathetic smile.

You take his hand and he gently helps you up before letting go. He puts his hand to his forehead to shield his eyes from the light, squinting and looking around. “Alright, smoothie smoothie smoothie, show me…smoothies.” He mumbles in a slightly silly voice.

You can’t help but sniffle and chuckle a little bit. “Do you…not know where it is?”

He looks at you, not dropping his smile at all. “I’m gonna be so honest with you, I don’t even know if this mall even has a smoothie place. I just assumed there is one. ‘Cause there’s gotta be, right?”

You softly chuckle again and gesture for him to follow you. “Well, you’d be right. It’s this way.” The two of you start walking down the large corridor towards the food court.

“So,” The man begins. “It’s not lost on me that I’m a total stranger offering smoothies. In our generation, that’s like, unheard of I think.” He chuckles before continuing. “So I just wanted to say here and now that if you get uncomfortable or your social battery dies, you can totally tell me to leave. The last thing I want is to make your day worse. So just do what’s best for you, alright?” He gives you that kind smile again.

You return his smile. For real, this time. Not forced. “Thanks. I appreciate that. A lot.”

“Of course!” He chirps. He suddenly sticks his hand out to you. “By the way, I’m June.”

You shake his hand politely and tell him your name. “Nice to meet you, June.”

You two break the handshake and he just doesn’t stop smiling. His positivity is infectious. “Likewise.”

The two of you walk in semi-comfortable silence for a minute or so until you make it to the food court. You scan for a moment before pointing off to the left. “There’s the smoothie place. Well, it’s not only a smoothie place. But you know what I mean.”

You look over at June, and notice he’s still staring around at the food court, and he’s finally lost his smile. Your brow furrows in slight concern. “June? You okay?”

That breaks him out of whatever thoughts he was having. “Yeah,” He shakes his head a bit and smiles again, though this time it’s a bit…sadder than before. “Just kinda reminds me of my old food court.”

He starts walking towards the smoothie place, and you quickly catch up and keep pace with him. “Oh, so you’re not from around here then?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. New around here, kinda getting a lay of the land.”

“Oh! I’d be happy to show you around.” You offer, surprising yourself. You can’t believe you just offered to do that for a total stranger. He could be dangerous, for all you know! But looking at him in his little blue flannel jacket and those headphones around his neck, the way he fidgets and speaks, and just the overall positive vibes he emits, you can tell. He’s a trustworthy dude.

June’s eyes light up upon your offer. “Oh shit, really? That’d be awesome!”

“Sure!” You smile.

The two of you order your smoothies and find a quiet table to sit at and chat.

“So-“ The both of you start at the same time.

“Oh sorry, you can go!” You say first.

June shakes his head. “Nah nah that’s okay, what were you going to say?”

“As much as I want to say ‘no, you go’, I don’t want us to be going in a circle for who knows how long,” You giggle. “So, alright. I’ll go. I just wanted to say ‘Welcome’, I guess. I think that’s what one is supposed to say in situations like this?” You look away, feeling like maybe that’s not the right thing to say.

“But like I’m not saying that specifically because I feel like I’m supposed to, I genuinely am welcoming you here because you seem cool.” You awkwardly freeze, expecting June to laugh at you or make fun of you.

“Thanks! I appreciate the welcome. And for being called cool!” He smiles. “Always nice when people boost my already overinflated ego,” he obviously jokes.

You both laugh for a few moments. It feels…really nice. “So what were you gonna say?” You ask, taking a sip of your smoothie as June answers.

“Ah, I was just going to ask what you do around here. Job, school, that kind of thing! If you don’t mind me asking.”

You shake your head. “I don’t mind at all! I work part-time at a general store kinda near here. It has a dumb name. ‘Everything Ya Need’.” You roll your eyes with a smile just thinking about it.

June snickers a bit. “Ah yeah, I remember seeing that place and loving the name!”

The two of you smile wider at that. “That’s actually really close to where I work. That new repair and parts place, ya seen it?”

You nod your head. “Mhm! Yeah, I know that place. Haven’t been ‘cause I haven’t had a need to, but I think it’s good we’ll have a shop like that around here. Do you like working there so far?”

June puts his chin in his hands and takes a large gulp of smoothie. “Oh definitely!” He nods. “Couldn’t ask for a better job or coworkers.”

“Awe, that’s so good to hear!” You smile, genuinely happy for him.

“What about your job?” June asks. “Do you like your coworkers?”

You clench your teeth and look away for a couple moments. “Um…I guess it’s not as bad now that this one dude got fired. But the store was so desperate for people that at first, they didn’t fire him even when he was literally harassing and bullying me. And you might be thinking ��well, why didn’t you quit?’ And it’s because I was too scared to. I know my tasks there, I know the people, it’s comfortable. I didn’t want to have to do more job searching and the terrifying interview and go into the unknown where I would have no clue what to expect. Sad, I know.” You sigh and take an ashamed sip of loser smoothie.

June’s eyebrows furrow in sympathy, and he gives you a reassuring smile. “Hey, come on now. That’s not sad, I totally get it. The comfort of routine and the fear of the unknown are super valid. Even if a routine may have something that hurts you, it’s easier…and feels safer to stay with that than to risk doing something new that could…go wrong.” His voice and his smile oddly faltered a bit by the end there. His blue eyes cloud for a moment, seeming distant, as if he’s remembering something.

“Right, yeah. You get it!” You try to break him out of whatever potential bad memories he might be reliving. “Thanks for validating me.”

June’s eyes flicker back to you, and his cute smile comes back.

Wait. What did you just call his smile??

“Of course!” He says, and you hope to heaven above that your face looks normal.

“So, um…” you try to think of something to talk about before you start accidentally making yourself blush more or something. “Is it alright if I ask you why you don’t tie your shoes? At least, I assume it’s on purpose, given that you’ve had a couple chances to tie them. If that is a rude question or too intrusive, I apologize!” You try not to wince at the anticipation of him getting upset with you for asking him that question.

After June swallows a sip of smoothie, he waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, no it’s not rude! You’re all good. I just don’t like them feeling uneven.”

Your eyes widen, and you subconsciously lean a little towards him over the table. “Wait, you hate uneven shoes too?? Oh my gosh, I’m so glad I’m not alone in that!”

June tilts his head to the side a bit with a reassuring smile. “Of course you’re not alone in that!”

You look down at your slip-on shoes, just wanting to peek at them due to them now being the topic of conversation. “Well, that makes me feel better. Nobody I know has ever talked about it. I’ve been late to class a couple times because I had to re-tie my shoes like, 4-6 times to try to make them feel even. It’s so annoying. I’m very thankful for slip-on shoes, that’s for sure.”

June takes another sip of smoothie, and you follow suit. “Geez, yeah that’s rough. I’m glad you got some slip-ons, though!”

“Thanks! I’m glad that I know a fellow even-feeling shoe enjoyer now. It’s validating as hell,” you chuckle, and June chuckles with you.

The nice moment between you two is interrupted by a loud buzz from your pocket. June looks at you curiously as you tense up.

“Oh boy.” You slowly start pulling your phone out of your pocket, cursing your hand for shaking.

You take a moment to gather the courage to look at it, and…you slump down in your chair with relief when you see it’s just a text from your mom asking how your day is going.

“Oh thank fuck,” you exhale.

June looks at you curiously, but obviously seems conflicted due to not wanting to intrude on your personal life. You give him a knowing look.

“It was my mom. I was worried it was going to be my partner,” you take an awkward sip of smoothie.

June’s eyes widen ever-so-slightly, but he quickly composes himself. “Oof.” He also takes an awkward sip of smoothie.

You’re not liking the tense silence now, so you decide to move on. “I don’t really want to spill all of my relationship issues onto you when we just met, even if you’re willing to listen. Which I appreciate, by the way. I’d like for you to associate my presence with…well, not trauma-dumping, that’s for sure!” You chuckle.

June looks a little concerned again for a moment, but lets it go. “I get it. I’d probably do the same thing in your shoes. So…do you want to not think about it for a while?”

You nod your head eagerly. “Definitely. How about that tour I offered?” You ask, slightly desperately.

June shoots you a solid thumbs up while sipping his drink. “Sounds good to me!”

After the finishing of smoothies, you and June throw your cups away and start walking around the mall. You show him your favorite shops, what kinds of other shops are available, and the quietest times of the week. Luckily, June has no problem having a fast tour of the mall so the both of you can leave and explore the quieter town.

As you walk around, you two pass both your workplace as well as the shop June works at, and you end up exchanging some work stories.

“Yeah, I have a knack for scaring the shit out of Matt,” June laughs. “I swear that I try to let him know I’m there before I tap his shoulder! He’s just so easy to spook.”

You giggle at that, imagining a gruff and rugged 40 year old man jumping 10 feet in the air from a little shoulder tap.

“Poor Matt!” You can’t help but smile.

June waves off your sympathy. “Ah, he’s fine. Don’t worry about him!”

“Okay,” you laugh. “I’ll take your word for it.”

You end up telling June a couple of work stories that don’t involve the guy that harassed you, or basically just any negative stories in general. I don’t want to be a Debbie downer. I gotta make sure I’m somewhat pleasant to be around so that I don’t ruin things right out of the gate with him.

The more you walk around town with June, the more you properly forget about your partner being mad at you, and the anxiety in your stomach subsides for a while. Talking with June feels really nice, he’s super understanding, and the conversations flow so easily. You have trouble remembering the last time you had such a pleasant time with someone other than Marshmallow. You furrow your brow as you think about the fact that you don’t really spend time with anyone other than them. Even if you’re with friends or acquaintances, they’re there.

Don’t ignore their anxiety. Their last partner really messed with their head, it’s okay if they want to come with you to places. How selfish can you be?

You’re pulled out of your spiral when June says your name.

“Huh? What?” You ask, hoping you didn’t space out for too long. Ugh, June must think you’re such a scatterbrain!!

“You good?” He asks, with that concerned look again. You hate making him look like that. You want him to smile, you don’t want him to worry about you.

“Yes, thank you.” You smile and shake your head in a futile attempt to clear it. “Um, so…ah.” You gesture to the park that the two of you are currently walking past. “This park is a nice place to chill and relax, at least when there’s not too many people. It’s nice to watch the birds.”

June looks around at the park’s trees with a soft smile. “Hmm. Good to know! Love me a good birb.”

You chuckle at that, focusing on his smile. “Well,” you clap your hands together gently. “I’ve taken up enough of your time, it’s been-“ you check your phone’s clock and your eyes widen. “Holy shit, 2 hours. Damn.” Time really flew by, it felt like 45 minutes…

June holds his hands up reassuringly. “Hey, it’s no problem at all! I really appreciate you taking me around town and showing me where stuff is.”

You nod at him with a small smile. “Absolutely!” You hold out your hand to him, offering a handshake. “Well, June, it was really nice to meet you! Thank you for being kind enough to check in on a distressed stranger. You’re a good dude.”

June returns the handshake, his face looking slightly bashful. Adorable, you can’t help thinking to yourself.

“Of course! Wasn’t just gonna pass you by. It was really nice to meet you as well!” He smiles politely, but it doesn’t look forced, to your relief.

You and June let go of the handshake, and you point your thumb in the general direction of your apartment. “I’m walking this way, which direction are you going in? ‘Cause I don’t wanna do that thing where we say goodbye and then we awkwardly end up walking in the same direction.”

June laughs, and it’s a wonderful laugh. Not one of judgement, not one of teasing, but one of understanding. He points his thumb in a different direction. “I totally getcha! I’m going that way, so we’re good on that front.”

“Okay, cool. Well June, it’s been a pleasure. Maybe I’ll see you around town again sometime.” You shrug casually, hoping you’re giving the correct signal that you don’t expect him to give you more of his time, but letting him know you’re open to spending more time with him.

“Yeah, for sure! That’d be cool.” He gives you a friendly wave and gently says your name. “Take care!”

You grin and wave back at him. “You too!” You watch him walk away, and let out a quiet, contented sigh. You watch June stick his hands in his pockets, just looking at stuff around him as he walks, as if everything he passes deserves to be acknowledged and observed.

You don’t want to be weird, so you turn towards the direction of your apartment and start walking home. Instead of having anxiety again about your partner as you make your way back, you instead think about June. The way he made you feel so validated and understood. How he didn’t judge you, how he was laughing with you, not at you, and how it felt so easy to talk to him. You can’t help but feel really happy at the possibility of seeing him again sometime.

Even if your relationship never makes it past acquaintance status, even if you never talk with him again, you’re thankful for the time you got to spend with him today. He made you feel a little less alone, and made you feel better about some things you were either ashamed of or worried about.

You look over your shoulder, spotting him one last time as he grows further in the distance. Your lips curl into a small smile, your heart feeling full.

Thank you, June.

#submission #so(u)l project fanfic #IM SO INSANE I CANT BELIEVE I GET TO USE THAT TAG #THIS WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT AND SO CUTE AND FUN AND AAAUGH #BEAUTIFUL

29 notes · View notes