Tumgik
#child incestuous abuse
afieldinengland · 1 year
Text
thinking about abigail hobbs as a modern version of antiochus’ daughter in pericles
0 notes
arguablysomaya · 6 months
Text
Nightwing's weird fem-coding
! LONG POST !
Finally got around to jotting down my thoughts on the weird way that Dick Grayson (Nightwing) often occupies female-coded roles without being a particularly feminine guy. This is entirely due to me procrastinating on my finals. Okay!
Dick has often been cited as the hero who plays into the "female gaze", and he takes up some key roles that are typically reserved for women characters.
Tumblr media
A large portion of Dick's fem-coding is contingent on his being with his family, and when he's not with them, this fem-coding kinda drops away, such as when he's with his various teams or acting solo.
His most prominent (and imo, complex) femme-coded role is:
-> Eldest Daughter + Widow
Eldest daughter syndrome means " frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence." It's born out of the unique way that first-born girls are expected to take on adult roles around the household before they've had an opportunity to fully experience childhood (an opportunity their younger siblings will have, in part due to this sacrifice). It creates a strong sense of independence and a desire to be a good role model, but also leads to undue pressure and perfectionism.
Dick acts as a central emotional pillar for those in his family. To the point that when he fakes his death, it breaks something fundamental in the family dynamic:
Tumblr media
Not only is it repeatedly made clear that Bruce depends on Dick to act as a lifeline for his own mental struggles, but moreover, his siblings do as well. In a very literal sense, the maintenance of the batfamily rests on Dick's shoulders. Bruce is so rarely available for emotional support that these children turn to the next best thing, which, to be fair, is better than what Dick had growing up. He has to clean up so many breakdowns, it's honestly pretty staggering.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
As the OG sidekick, Dick receives quite a bit of hero worship, particularly from younger heroes/sidekicks, who look toward him for guidance. As a naturally upbeat and welcoming person, Dick ends up in the position of bringing light to everyone, not just Bruce. For example, here's Cassandra:
Tumblr media
This balancing effect is unique to Dick's skill set. However, this can (and does) backfire very easily. The same pragmatism Bruce engages in hurts extra bad when coming from Dick: like when Dick had to take Robin away from Tim. Not to mention just how intimidating Dick's legacy is, which can create resentment when his successors aren't able to play this role so easily. For example, Jason both before and after his death expressed insecurity that he felt he was constantly being compared to Dick, and falling short.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
As the original character that people think of when they think "sidekick", DG Robin (and his successors) had the advantage of not losing prominence even as his contemporaries (Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, etc.) were de-prioritized in favor of independent teenaged heroes (like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire). But that means Robin as a concept now has to deal with questions that weren't so prominent in the earlier decades, such as: "How do we justify a grown-ass man using a child (and in fact, children) as emotional crutches?"
It's icky to think about, but there's no denying that early Batman and Robin got side eyes for homosexual subtext. I mean, they literally call each other "partners". So while that "subtext" was, and remains, just audience speculation, given Dick is literally Bruce's adopted son, there is room, I believe, to call into question how healthy it is for Bruce's oldest kid to be taking on a nearly-parental role and be a core pillar of Bruce's emotional regulation.
Hot take here, but I think Dick's relationship with Bruce was/has been pretty emotionally incestuous for a long time.
-> Emotional incest
"Emotional incest[...] is a type of emotional abuse performed by a parent. In cases of emotional incest, parents rely on their children for significant emotional support, which is a reversal of roles. Emotional incest is more than just relying on your kids on occasion—rather, it is an extreme dependence on them." (There's a pretty good argument to be made that Bruce has been emotionally incestuous with all his Robins, especially Dick and DEFINITELY Tim, but y'know. Small steps.)
Tumblr media
Emotional incest is a semi-common consequence of eldest daughter syndrome; the natural conclusion of deputizing a child to manage the other children combining with an inability to see the child as a child, still in need of emotional guidance, but more like an adult capable of shouldering the burdens of grown-ups dumping their traumas on them.
To be clear here, while emotional incest may not be incest in the most traditional, taboo sense, it is still abuse. It's putting a burden on a child they shouldn't have to carry, even for children that aren't dealing with such extreme burdens as "grown-ass man running around in a fursuit needs me to keep him from getting himself killed". It's a perversion of a healthy parent-child relationship, where the child is treated more like a partner than a child. In Dick's case, it further exacerbates the parentification he already experiences. This is made more explicit when Bruce "dies" and Dick is cast into a sort of "Widow" role.
Dick reluctantly dons the cowl in an attempt to bring order to his family members. He's also left to parent Damian, alone. He has to make the decision to take Robin from Tim, and try to deal with the fallout from that decision. He has to put a stop to Jason's fratricidal rampage. He's made into the de-facto head of the family.
Tumblr media
And the thing about this is: Dick's not even bad at it. In comparison to Bruce's litany of disasters-in-parenting, Dick does a pretty bang-up job of managing his siblings, heading the Justice League, and being Batman. But the crucial point is that he does this at the expense of his own mental health, which is the crux of eldest daughter syndrome. There's no denying that at the time, Dick was most certainly the best choice for New Father Figure, but it was a choice he was pushed into, and a sacrifice he had to make. When this sense of responsibility to the point of self-sacrifice is pushed to its logical conclusion, it has the effect of making Dick a Martyr-type figure.
-> Protector/Mama Bear/Avenger
Dick has shown repeatedly that his hot button is his family. From Tony Zucco to allowing Blockbuster to be killed after the villain targeted Haley's Circus, going after Nightwing's family is a pretty good way to earn yourself an asskicking. Probably the most infamous example of this is when Dick thought the Joker had killed Tim, beating the clown to death to avenge both Tim and Jason.
Tumblr media
And while this role isn't particularly feminine, I do think it's interesting that Dick protects his family members from each other with almost the same frequency that he protects them from outside threats. He's pretty notorious for wrangling Damian and Tim, foiling Jason's murder plans, and most importantly, beating the shit out of Bruce whenever he crosses a line, such as when Bruce asks Dick to conceal being alive from their family to join Spyral or when Bruce wanted to abandon the Bruce Wayne persona after the murder of Vesper Fairchild. Or of course, more recently after Bruce's latest MK-ULTRA shenanigans.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This basically puts Dick in the position of being the glue that holds the family together, at basically all times, but especially in times of conflict. This also means he's put in the dangerous position of bodily defending his younger siblings from Bruce's wrath or irresponsibility, a position made even more awkward given the whole emotional incest thing.
That's not to say that Dick's relationship with his family is 100% unhealthy. Dick and his family members (including Bruce!) feel legitimate affection and care for each other. There are times when the dynamics here are indeed healthy. And like most people with eldest daughter syndrome, the unhealthy nature of this dynamic is usually understated. Oldest sibling syndrome is often just an unavoidable consequence of how parenting works. So while I am of the opinion that this dynamic is often unhealthy, hot take: I'm fine with that.
Tumblr media
Now, though I've just listed some tropes that he only falls into around family, Dick also falls into some fem-coding all the time, regardless of who he's with, and these have to do mostly with his sexuality.
-> Sexual Assault & Harassment
Yeah, so nobody is surprised that this is a factor. Look up any list of the top ten hottest/sexiest/most attractive male superheroes, I guarantee 9/10 times Nightwing is number 1. However, unlike his father, whose attractiveness is usually played as a part of the male wish-fulfillment fantasy, something people aspire to be, Dick's attractiveness more often makes him an object of desire- very similar to how most attractive female characters are perceived.
Tumblr media
And as an object of desire, Dick Grayson is constantly having to deal with being objectified.
Now, Dick Grayson being an attractive character is not the problem. Dick Grayson being sexually assaulted isn't even the problem. the problem is that he keeps being harassed, assaulted, and raped in ways that are flagrantly nonconsensual, and yet it's not treated with the seriousness it deserves. In fact, it took a full decade for Devin Grayson to retract her previous statement and admit that yes, the rooftop scene with Catalina Flores was in fact rape, and it's never been acknowledged in-universe (though, comics have always been atrocious at calling out sexual abuse of all kinds, let alone that which targets men).
Hell, even when he in-universe calls it out, he's dismissed immediately and the story continues like nothing happened.
Tumblr media
Like???
Dick's adult sexcapades (which were consensual and enthusiastic) have long contrasted with the numerous times he's been harassed; times in which he comes across as bored, exasperated, and even frustrated with his own attractiveness and the vulnerable position it often leaves him in.
Tumblr media
This puts him in the rare (in comics) position of being a male character who consistently and near-exclusively has his sexual agency and boundaries violated by women - a position that authors uniformly refuse to examine despite writing him into it all the fucking time.
Other characters around him frequently make comments passing off this harassment and assault as a natural consequence of Dick's own attractiveness, making "jokes" that essentially amount to "I understand why someone would want to assault him". Which- UH?
Tumblr media
There is also, of course, the unavoidable reality that as an acrobat and an aerialist, he receives a very specific type of sexual harassment
Tumblr media
the nature of nightwing's fight style necessitates a type of tight-fitting suit that male heroes typically don't go for: an extremely slick suit with bare-minimum armour that again, makes him vulnerable in a way most male heroes aren't, but a style female heroes wear all the time, whether it makes sense for them or not. This of course then allows artists to draw attention to this fact by posing Nightwing in poses usually reserved for femme fatales:
Tumblr media
And unlike the Hawkeye Initiative, these poses are (largely) unironic, and not played for jokes. Dick isn't arching his back or looking over his shoulder to poke fun at how female heroes are treated; he does so because the artist (clearly correctly) sincerely believed these poses would play into the unironic gaze of the audience, and also probably thought it was hot. It's the same line of thought artists use when posing femme fatales.
He's even been known to use his sexuality as a bargaining chip, much like more traditional Femme Fatales. In Batman and Harley Quinn (2017), he refers to sleeping with Harley Quinn after being kidnapped by her as one of "the things I do for Gotham", to which she responds "I'm taking that as a 'yes'." And that's uh- not how consent works.
Tumblr media
And this particularly sucks because- HELLO? The opportunity to explore the very real and tragically underacknowledged phenomenon of sexual violence against men is literally invaluable, especially with such a prominent character. It's one thing to ignore that men face sexual violence, it's another, entirely more unforgivable thing to continuously and explicitly depict such scenarios and play them off as jokes or not as serious as they clearly are. But what did I expect from an industry that has never had a good track record on sexual violence anyway.
-> Queercoding?
Tumblr media
There's also of course the fact that DC has been, as of late, dropping hints that Dick might be bisexual.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
That on it's own doesn't mean anything, but when paired with the fact that DC has been angling toward giving Dick a similar playboy persona that Bruce has, just with men included, it's just very interesting.
Tumblr media
(BTW: The likelihood DC actually commits to making Dick bi is, uh, not a lot, but if they're gonna stick with this weird closet stuff for a while, let's hope they do so in a way that doesn't make him sound like a cross between Donald Trump and Harry Styles next time? Please?)
Anyway, all of this is basically to say I am forever fascinated by the gender dynamics of Dick Grayson, likely due to the fact that I'm projecting all my eldest daughter traumas onto him, and that someone who's background is in Gender Studies needs to get on this shit if they haven't already. I just love this character sm.
Tumblr media
673 notes · View notes
susansontag · 9 months
Text
I’ve always shied away from discussing ikuhara’s usage of incest in utena because it’s quite a sticky topic in shoujo manga and anime but also because those uninitiated with that are likely to assume his using it is somehow perverted and will have a knee-jerk reaction. but I think he’s honestly very clever with it, using it both on a metaphorical level to elicit sympathy for the characters and their romanticised notions of these relationships but also on a literal level to show the dangers and abuse inherent in these kinds of relationships.
nanami is the most obvious example. even though we as an audience may not understand her almost romantic fixation on attracting the attentions of her older brother touga, we can still sympathise with her behaviour on a metaphorical level; she is thirteen, she is lonely, he is her entire world and the world is taking him, and thus her childhood, away from her and she is helpless to stop this. nanami is not perverse, she is trying to secure control over a situation in which she has none. a more common and relatable example is when one feel as though they, their siblings, their parents, etc, revert back to the dynamics they solidified in childhood when they spend time as a family unit. it’s a phenomenon that can be irritating (‘they’re treating me like a child’) but also comforting, familiar, and certain.
yearning to remain in a permanent state of pre-adolescence is something a lot of different characters in utena contend with, albeit in different ways, but hers is so interesting because ikuhara decides she must at one point be met with the reality of what this would mean if taken to its extreme. nanami understands akio is abusing anthy before utena does, and draws strict lines between what those ‘perverse’ siblings are doing and her pure love for touga. yes, she lacks sympathy for anthy outwardly, but her horror at confronting incestuous abuse in a real, unromanticised context, forces her to understand how her innocent outlook can be taken advantage of by people who would mean to do her harm.
and then touga assaults her, and when she rejects him, bewildered, he accuses her: isn’t this what you wanted? of course he can’t understand it’s the absolute opposite of what she wanted to preserve. one could argue here that ikuhara is blaming nanami for her naivety, even punishing her for being so short-sighted. but on the contrary I think he’s desperately seeking our empathy for her here, in showing us that a child’s romanticisation is not an excuse for her victimisation nor her offering consent. and if all we want to focus on is the fantasies of an alienated child, we fail to appropriately condemn abusers from taking advantage of children like nanami.
749 notes · View notes
bonefall · 3 months
Text
Clear Sky is a Monster.
Of all the characters in Warrior Cats, I think Clear Sky was the most heavily mishandled.
At every turn, the narrative begs you to sympathize with him, to "understand" the "misunderstood." To this end, his brother Gray Wing is used to "keep faith" in his inherent goodness, his abused son, Thunder, is forced to go back to him over and over, and his second dead wife is completely lobotomized in death to absolve him of all sin.
Because of this, of all this set-up for the "redemption" arc they're trying to tell in the last three books, DOTC is Clear Sky's story. Everything primarily exists to benefit and serve his arc. Thunder and Gray Wing might have POVs, but HE is the character who truly drives the plot. So in order to HAVE conflict for that back half, two evil foreign cats, Slash and One Eye, are summoned to act as contrast.
Their narrative purpose is to display "true evil" to make Clear Sky look less bad in comparison. Unfortunately, Clear Sky is the most malignant, deadly character who has ever blighted Warrior Cats.
The "pure evil" examples they summon aren't effective contrasts because they're flat. Clear Sky is what real abusers look like.
His rhetoric is what it sounds like when a cult leader is trying to keep control over a group. He lies when it benefits him, justifies his actions with his tragic backstory to assuage his guilt and manipulate others, and violently lashes out when his feelings are hurt before blaming his victim for making him angry.
He only made "some mistakes" in that SOME of his actions were accidents-- the vast majority of them were malicious, self-absorbed, intentional choices to punish, hurt, and kill others.
I've spoken about Bumble. I've tallied his body count next to Tigerstar. I've talked about how his infant son's death was his fault in sequel books, and called attention to the infected wound face shoving scene that no one talks about. I can't fit every detail into a single post-- because he's so rancid that I would practically be posting entire books.
So what I want to do here is tackle the heart of Clear Sky. Everything he does, everything he's motivated by, is absolute and utter control over other people. He leverages his "trauma" to evoke empathy from his targets to make them easier to manipulate. He's a dirty liar. He breaks down to physical violence when all other tactics stop working.
He's one of the most severe and realistic abusers I've ever read about outside of very adult literature-- and when I read the reasons why he's attracted to Star Flower, my stomach immediately lurched.
The Killing of Misty
Starvation Rhetoric and the Memory of Fluttering Bird
Aside; a question
Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation
Exoneration arc
Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.
I think that index is an evocative content warning. But to say it again; this post contains child and domestic abuse, physical assault, public humiliation, incestuous grooming implications, and a lot of murder.
I need to start with the death of Misty. I see a few people saying that Clear Sky killed her for "being on his land" or trespassing, but this is actually a misstatement that I feel is important to correct.
Misty and her children were on their own land. It was her house. Clear Sky killed her to take it.
This is one of the most important details to remember about Clear Sky, that this is the consistent end point of his obsessive need for power and control. By harassment, by violence, or by death, he will brutalize anyone who does not give him what he wants, or who makes him feel bad, and find some way to justify it.
Tumblr media
This territory expansion was for no logical reason. There was plenty of food and plenty of land. Any aggression that's happening on this territory is in response to how he's been stealing land and mauling people.
When it's found out she was fighting to defend her children, Clear Sky's immediate response is to slaughter them too.
Tumblr media
Petal doesn't have milk either. It wasn't about the logistics. He wanted to kill the kids, because looking at them made him feel bad, and she just managed to stop him.
Starvation Rhetoric and the Image of Fluttering Bird
It is often said that Clear Sky is doing this because he's "traumatized" from how his little sister, Fluttering Bird, starved to death in the mountains. That the emotion came from wanting to feed people. That's incorrect. It wasn't about food. Fluttering Bird's death, and all the "starvation" he's faced, are used as manipulation tactics to guilt, influence, and control other characters, particularly when he might meet resistance or be held accountable for something.
It was always, ALWAYS, about control.
He does not care about actually helping people; "Starvation Rhetoric" through Fluttering Bird is an image he can invoke to justify the actions that are as bloody and cruel as the one this post starts off with. Either in his own mind, or in the minds of the cats he's manipulating.
He does this to Falling Feather, before slicing her face open in anger when she doesn't buy it. He does it to Rainswept Flower, before he strangles her to death. And he does it in the chapter just before Misty's murder, both to his Clan and then to Thunder,
Tumblr media
Clear Sky climbed up in front of an entire crowd and gave a grand speech about hunger and "adjusting" the borders around territory he plans to conquer. When he gets to "forgiveness" he feigns pain to make his point because he is performing. If the sentiment is not a total lie, then at bare minimum, he is intentionally playing this up for the crowd.
He is rallying the Clan to support his violence against the cats whose land he wants to steal, and selling it with his life's hardships.
The audience is clearly well-trained, because several cats recognize the cue, particularly Frost who is praised for loudly comforting him. This signals "loyalty" because showing your sympathy towards his "suffering" is how this type of emotional manipulation works. It creates a persecuted, righteous in-group.
He's also apparently used this tactic before, since this entire crowd knows what "I Would Never Forgive Myself " means.
He's made sycophants out of his followers. Like a cult leader.
His abused son, however, hasn't been fully indoctrinated yet. Seeing Thunder uncomfortable with the idea of expanding the borders for no reason, Clear Sky calls him over for a personal propaganda session.
Tumblr media
Clear Sky begins the exchange by calling this a "duty" and a "great honor." Immediately framing what he plans to do as righteous.
He puts on the act when Thunder shows resistance, dramatically pausing to let the guilt trip sink in.
"Thunder waited, realizing that he said the wrong thing."
And then Clear Sky launches into infantilizing Thunder, talking down to him like a child who's too inexperienced to see the "signs of starvation," acting like he's being "patient" in "explaining" it.
And then we get it. "I know what starvation looks like (so stop trusting your own eyes) because I have been through more than you (so shut up and do what I tell you), and I'm being a HERO for what I'm about to do (so opposing me would make you a bad person)."
Thanks to these crocodile tears, looking "moved," the act works. The victim is immediately wracked by guilt because the abuser seems genuinely emotional.
He even lovebombs him over the corpse of Misty in the next chapter, making Thunder feel threatened.
Tumblr media
Thunder doesn't have the words to describe what is happening to him, but he knows that this sudden snap to praise isn't natural. That something is very wrong.
A Question.
Before I move on to show that this IS an act, and that he is lying about how important avoiding starvation is to him, I will ask a question. Please think about it, because I promise I mean it genuinely;
Why does it matter if Clear Sky actually believes this or not?
The victims are just as dead either way, yes? Thunder is just as abused and guilt tripped. The entire Clan has been driven towards violence while coddling and cooing at their Supreme Leader. Clear Sky is slowly annexing the entire forest. If you have ever accepted that he had "good intentions" as an excuse for the harm he did, or that abuse and murder was what he imagined was "the right thing," or that his trauma justifies the way he leverages his own pain to make cats do what he wants... why do you think that?
Why does that make it morally better, as the narrative concludes? Would you accept the same for every other WC villain or antagonist? Tigerstar? Slash? Tom the Wifebeater? Brokenstar? Rainflower?
How could you tell the difference, if you couldn't read their actual thoughts on the page? ...are there any other "good intentions" you've accepted, somewhere else?
Don't share that answer with me. It's a question for you. Sit with it.
Hunger as a punishment; he doesn't care about starvation.
...but, regardless, Clear Sky is not deluded about starvation. It's a justification for his obsessive need for control, and always has been. There was no shortage before stealing Misty's land and kits, he is fully aware that there's more prey than they can eat.
He punishes Falling Feather with hunger and harassment for thought crime, by briefly thinking of leaving. But first, he invokes Fluttering Bird at her like he did before, flying into a screeching fit of rage when she doesn't buy it,
Tumblr media
"I'm sorry I hurt you... BUT" is THE wifebeater phrase. THE stereotypical line of a domestic abuser. "I'm sorry I hit you... but it's your fault for making me so angry."
She went through the same exact starvation he did, calls out that he's just framing his greed as being for the collective benefit of his subjects, and is assaulted for that.
Tumblr media
When we're in his head, we see his REAL concerns are not about hunger. He invoked Fluttering Bird to try and make her shut up and bow down to him; what he's focused on is her "gossiping" and "whining" about the open wound he left on her face. He's still furious at Fircone and Nettle for how Thunder QUESTIONED him. So he will "strengthen their commitment."
When "starvation" DOES enter his thoughts, it is to assuage his own guilt and JUSTIFY what he already did. What he already WANTS to do. It's post-hoc.
Tumblr media
He had to suppress his own guilt at how his greed and ambition made these children into orphans, completely unable to admit that he's ever been wrong or has a change to make, so he invokes the starvation rhetoric at himself to excuse it. So he feels less bad.
Everything, EVERYTHING, in this confrontation is about his pleasure at being able to torment his subordinates. To continue the abuse when the initial confrontation is over. If it isn't pride in his power and control over them, it's plain sadism.
Tumblr media
He invokes starvation in front of the crowd, again, after being pleasured at the guilt in her eyes, hoping that everyone sees her writhing with shame and embarrassment. Fear wasn't at the root of why he assaulted Falling Feather; rage was, and now he feels better that he got to humiliate the person who offended him.
Starvation Rhetoric is a manipulation tactic.
It goes RIGHT BACK to his twisted idea of "loyalty." Obedience.
Tumblr media
A cat who's actually, primarily concerned about starvation wouldn't encourage other cats to steal her food if they feel like it. He wouldn't be using it as a weapon to retaliate against her because she hurt his feelings.
This is paired with the fact he restricts and monitors the diet of his cats. They eat when he allows it, and only what he gives them, in spite of there being piles of dead animals rotting, going to waste.
Tumblr media
We then find he personally doles out food from these piles, plucking carcasses off them and flinging them at his cats, one by one. Probably so he can watch how grateful they are to him and make sure they stay a little hungry-- and definitely because it means he can control WHO gets to eat at all.
If Clear Sky chucked a mouse at Falling Feather and someone took it? She would have gone hungry. For not groveling to him. Like when he decides to starve her brother; a hostage who he promised to feed and care for.
Tumblr media
He's a dishonest snake. He lied about abandoning baby Thunder, calling it a "test of strength," he lied about Bumble's death, he lied about keeping Jackdaw's Cry fed.
And he lied about starvation to Thunder, because he was just making up an excuse to steal more land.
He wasn't "seeing the signs" of starvation when he moved to "adjust" his borders. Even FURTHER into this so-called "delusional slip" into tyranny, he's freely admitting that it takes months for a person to starve when it benefits his sadistic need to punish undeserving cats.
"Dumb moor cats, always expecting more than they DESERVE."
Not need. DESERVE. It's not a delusion about starvation and it never was. STARVATION is how he CONTROLS SkyClan, and once again he's angry that his pleasure has been sullied.
The massacre at Fourtrees was started over Jackdaw's Cry catching a bat after being starved, on land that Clear Sky has decided RIGHT NOW that he also owns, because it mades him think about being disobeyed.
Tumblr media
The bat is forgotten as Clear Sky pivots into a tantrum, wanting to make his family HURT for being 'disloyal' and 'ungrateful.' For leaving him. He LIKES seeing people grovel, cower, and beg, getting PLEASURE from watching how he can hurt and command other cats, and if you don't give him what he wants he will kill you.
Which, make no mistake, is what the "First Battle" actually is. Clear Sky attempting to murder those who don't worship him or swear their undying fealty to him and his twisted dictatorship. Particularly his own son, the most prominent victim of his emotional abuse.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's not about the bat. It was never even about food or starvation. It's about retaliation for any perceived lack of control.
Once again he breaks out starvation rhetoric to try and manipulate someone, and when Rainswept Flower doesn't buy it just like Falling Feather didn't, he murders her in another fit of entitled rage.
Tumblr media
Exoneration arc.
At the end of this battle that was entirely his own fault, we're introduced to the hollowed-out ghost of Storm. She has been flushed of all personality, so that she can be the perfect narrative mouthpiece.
She accepts yet another Fluttering Bird Invocation in spite of how we saw it's not sincere. He was lying the entire time and using starvation rhetoric as a manipulation tactic to get control over his victims.
Tumblr media
And that's it.
That's the consequence. Storm's a little mad at him until he says "Buttering Flird" and she swoons.
He doesn't have to be ""afraid"" anymore because the cats just invented an afterlife to believe in. He keeps all of his power and influence and gets off scot-free, because "guilt" (which we SAW him repressing anyway) is supposed to be the best consequence for murder, abuse, and tyranny.
The husk of Storm even materializes again at the end of book 5 to say it outright; he "never drove anyone away." Not even after Book 4 where it's also his fault One Eye took over his Clan for 5 minutes. It was just destiny.
Tumblr media
His "redemption arc" is just an exoneration arc. The narrative doesn't think he really did anything wrong.
EVERYTHING about Clear Sky has ALWAYS been about making grabs at power, but since the narrative didn't see a problem with him extorting his personal tragedy and the death of a child, his own sister, he continues doing it. As if these behaviors are normal personality 'traits'.
Even when that sister COMES OUT OF HEAVEN TO YELL AT HIM DIRECTLY,
Tumblr media
He finds a way to COMPLETELY miss the point, so he can interpret her words in a bizarrely specific way that will conveniently end with him being the supreme dictator of the entire forest. Just like he ALWAYS does.
Tumblr media
It's the entire 5th book. Clear Sky trying to convince everyone, including himself, that it's Fluttering Bird who wants him to grab at power, NOT himself and his own ambition, that THIS time, he promises, for realsies, it's actually about keeping everyone safe.
But just like ALWAYS, because he does not change, when this tried and true tactic manages to work on Thunder, during ANOTHER exchange where he's dramatically pausing and using the cold shoulder to make his pitiable act land harder,
Tumblr media
He lapses right back into bullying his child, creating situations where Thunder will have difficulty or be put in pain, so that he can have an excuse to mock and belittle him.
Tumblr media
And this all comes to a head when Clear Sky takes romantic interest in Star Flower, his abused son's previous romantic interest.
Predation: Star Flower is a replacement for his son.
Direct parallels are drawn between Thunder and Star Flower. Star Flower contrasts her loyalty to her father to Thunder's "disloyalty" to his own, in an appeal to Clear Sky.
Tumblr media
Clear Sky brushes it off for now, citing that he cannot accept her because of who her father was.
But then, Thunder makes the connection between himself and her, because he knows what it is like to be a victim of parental abuse and correctly clocks that they have this in common,
Tumblr media
On his vouch, Clear Sky accepts her into the group. She starts trying to offer himself to him; hunting twice as hard as the others, self-imposing harsh conditions like taking a wet sleeping spot. In their second interaction, Clear Sky begins to take interest in her.
Thunder himself points out that Star Flower is seeking an abusive tyrant to replace her own father, which reads like he's deflecting the stress of how his father is abusing him to deny a connection he already made. As if Thunder sees so much of himself in Star Flower that it makes him (rightly) feel sick that his father is romantically invested in her;
Tumblr media
Thunder then goes on to follow his own advice and form his own Clan, because Clear Sky IS like One Eye... while Star Flower remains here. At Clear Sky's side. Because she feels like this is what she "deserves," that she "understands" him, truly believing that her crime (warning her father that Clear Sky brought an ambush in case he lost the 1 on 1 death match he requested, which he did) are on the same level as his abuse and murders.
Clear Sky is attracted to Star Flower because, in his own words;
Tumblr media
She is young.
Tumblr media
She will not betray him.
Tumblr media
She won't question him,
Tumblr media
and she obeys him.
We've seen what "betrayal" is to Clear Sky-- not taking his excuses or his beatings. To "disobey" is betrayal. To "question" is disobedience.
These are ALL things he's tried to drill into Thunder. We saw him happily exploit their difference in age to tell him he can't have an opinion. He constructed humiliating games in retaliation for ever being questioned. He tried to murder Thunder and his friends for their "betrayal." Even now, being disobeyed causes explosive reactions.
He was previously grooming the things he now identifies as attractive in a young woman into his child.
If your body becomes too useless to serve him, like Frost and Jagged Peak, you're thrown out. If you don't unquestioningly follow his bloody commands, like Falling Feather or Thunder, you're subjected to abuse and public humiliation. If you're in his way, like Misty or Rainswept Flower were, you die.
If you meet all of his expectations...
Tumblr media
You will be in a horrific position where you will never have agency over your own life ever again. Every move, every word, will have to be carefully crafted so that he feels like you're "loyal" to him by the arbitrary standard he feels that day. Never step out of line, never doubt his decisions, never live for anyone except him and the children you will give him, not even for a moment, because then you will not be "worthy" of his grace.
Star Flower would be in serious danger if this series wasn't written by abuse apologists. They accidentally wrote a perfect reflection of how child abuse victims often find themselves in unsafe and toxic romantic relationships with large age gaps which mirror what they went through as kids; but this team doesn't clock it, playing this relationship as wholesome and genuine.
He finally has someone who ""understands"" him. Because they think the character they wrote is misunderstood.
but reality is plain to see.
Clear Sky is a monster. The most realistic monster in all of WC-- far, far closer to real life predators and domestic abusers than the "born evil" rogues like Slash and One Eye. The Erins seem to believe that what separates Clear Sky from One Eye is "fundamental" good and "fundamental" evil, when the truth is that they'd be separated by very, very little.
If they had realistic motivations, they would be exactly like the character their existence is meant to excuse.
Slash and One Eye HAD to be kept flat and one-dimensional. If the book was more earnest, the only difference between Clear Sky and One Eye would have been that One Eye is stronger. So strong that Clear Sky needed to manipulate the other groups into helping him.
While anyone can change, not everyone will, and Clear Sky has no reason to. He sees no consequences. He has everything he wants; power, a pretty and obedient young mate, and unchecked authority over a brainwashed forest cult. There is always a victim on a leash, a naive enabler, or a bunch of desperate and gullible marks somewhere in his proximity to bully into doing his dirtywork
Whether his "intentions" were sincere or not (evidence points towards not) at its root it was always about control. Power is something he perpetually keeps, and continues to violently use.
376 notes · View notes
paellegere · 25 days
Text
there is interesting johndean subtext and insinuations across kripke era, usually through an antagonist insinuating parent-child sexual violence in order to exert dominance over dean. this type of mockery exploits that ambiguous relationship between john and dean and reminds dean that he never had a normal relationship with his father, and that makes him gross and wrong. it doesn't actually matter in the end whether john was sexually abusive to dean. the core of their relationship was damning enough: dean was made to take the place of john's wife—to comfort john and raise sam—while simultaneously being his son. the codependent nature of their relationship implies the incest that underscores their dynamic. again, this is regardless of what literally occurred between dean and john because there is enough doubt toward the nature of their relationship that multiple antagonists can use it against them.
sonwife, brotherhusband—dean is stuck in a liminal space between family and lover and is unable to put his feet firmly on just one side and instead has to accept both together or abandon both together. he doesn't get to have a relationship with his family without it being simultaneously incestuous. he plays the role of wife to john and mother to sam as mary's replacement; he therefore becomes more than a son and transcends the boundaries of the familial into the incestuous. it's baked into the dynamic and he can't hope to escape the liminality in which he's stuck without abandoning his entire family altogether.
this ambiguous relationship is further acted out with sam, where people perceive them as lovers rather than brothers; where their mutual devotion trumps, neglects, and disallows any other close relationship outside each other; where their physical closeness is viewed through an unusually sexual lens despite no literal sex acts between them taking place on screen. once again dean is stuck in a liminal space, paralleling the ambiguous and uncertain relationship he had with john.
in the end, sex (and sexual violence) is just a symbol of this codependency and uncertainly incestuous dynamic. sex acts in kripke era end up being symbolic: misinterpretations of sam and dean's relationship; accusations of sexual violence; literal, on-screen sexual moments between the brothers and someone else. it's a literary device that highlights the incestuous themes of the show. dean hand-picks women for sam to fuck because it allows dean to be symbolically part of sam's sex life. henricksen accuses john of raping dean because it is a symbol of the unhealthy, codependent relationship dean had with his father. the samulet stays on during sex because sam is symbolically integral to dean's sexual gratification (seen too in the way both dean and cassie in 1.13 appear to kiss the amulet at least once in the dark room). sex is used to signify more than what's literally on the screen, and the connections between the literal sex acts and the blurred lines of dean's familial relationships allow for a reading of incest between both john and dean and sam and dean.
it never mattered whether johndean or samdean had a sexual relationship in the canon because that was never the point. the point is the liminality that permeates the narrative. sam, dean, and john all stand upon a threshold between acceptable and taboo. the point of it all is the doubt and anxiety, the are-they-aren't-they that is never answered. the absence of incest within the text invites the understanding that the incest was, in fact, always there.
154 notes · View notes
youremyheaven · 5 months
Text
Mars, Sex & Celibacy
i have wanted to make this post for a long time and this may probably be my last post of 2023. (edit: this is my first post of 2024 lol)
earlier i had briefly mentioned about Mars and its relationship with celibacy and sex.
I had spoken about how Mars makes the native crave carnality and not sensuality. Its also telling how Mars is associated with impulsiveness, fieriness and passion but Mars also makes natives prone to abstinence, restraint and reluctance.
Mars is often interpreted to be explosive with its energy but while that may be the case in other areas, when it comes to sex and relationships, these natives have a tendency to restrain themselves a lot. This could be due to many different reasons. ive noticed a tendency for many natives to self reject or co-opt out of the system instead of playing it at all because they're afraid of being rejected or not being good enough (Mars influence and even disproportionate Venus influence can manifest as deformity/ugliness or make someone feel like they're not good enough) but a strong Mars can manifest differently. Mars is the soldier and is the planet of aggression, therefore they tend to be natural leaders and leaders are ones who set the standard for others, they naturally think of others as being a few rungs below them since they're always on command mode.
Mars is the master however, so Mars influence makes a native exercise immense self control. Its VERY easy for them to shun certain things and abstain entirely. Mars natives are very disciplined and are almost Saturnian (a good/stabilized Saturn influence that is) in terms of their work ethic. Its interesting because even though Saturn is associated with hard work, discipline etc it often manifests as laziness, sluggishness etc because the extremes of anything is a meeting point with its opposite. They are prone to feeling burnt out.
Tumblr media
Adriana Lima, Mrigashira Sun, Chitra Moon was a virgin until she was 27 years old and married.
She was a bikini model since she was a teenager but she chose to abstain from sex until she was married. I'm not saying the two are contradictory but its unusual in the sense that its not something that's expected from someone in her position as one of the sexiest women alive.
random observation but Mars rules over eyebrows and gives its natives very thick lush eyebrows with no arch that are a standout feature and thick dark eyebrows are considered a sign of sexual maturity which makes sense consider the over sexualization of Mars natives
Tumblr media
Brooke Shields, has Mrigashira Moon & Venus as well as Rohini Sun (Rohini & Mrigashira have similar themes and often manifest as incestual/sexual abuse, stalking, obsession etc in the lives of its natives).
She was pushed into acting and fame by her abusive, controlling mother at a young age and was very sexualized by the public and media even as a child. She has talked about how obsessed her mother was with her and how she remained a virgin until she was 22years old despite being a hugely renowned sex symbol for most of her life.
Tumblr media
Drew Barrymore, Mrigashira Rising
Drew grew up with a mother who was obsessive & controlling with her and almost grew up too fast before turning to a playful and childlike personality as an adult.
She also spoke about how she's been celibate since her 2016 divorce. She also underwent a breast reduction in her 20s because she did not like being sexualized by men.
youtube
This interview where Drew & Brooke talk about their mothers is so Mrigashira coded, its especially telling when Brooke says that despite everything they've been through neither of them emerged from it "jaded" or "angry".
I've noticed this with a lot of Mrigashira natives, they have very playful, happy go lucky personalities despite all the abuse and trauma they've endured.
There is an unhappy pattern in the lives of many Mrigashira natives of having been subject to incestual abuse or sexual abuse as children.
Tumblr media
Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen have Mrigashira Sun and although there is no actual evidence of it, there are many speculations as to whether they were subject to abuse as children and their subsequent withdrawal from public life as adults only added fuel to the rumours.
Many child stars who gain notoriety or are sexualized from a very young age tend to have Mrigashira placements or other Mars ruled naks in their big 3.
Judy Garland, Mrigashira Sun & Mercury
It is very well known how she was exploited by her mother who gave her "performer pills" to keep her awake and then to help her sleep, all before she turned 10 years old.
Shirley Temple, the OG child star had Mrigashira Moon, she was severely abused, exploited and overworked since childhood.
Natalie Portman has Mrigashira Sun and she's talked about how being sexualized as a child made her relationship with her sexuality very fraught.
“Being sexualised as a child, I think, took away from my own sexuality because it made me afraid and it made me like the way I could be safe was to be like, ‘I’m conservative,’ and ‘I’m serious and you should respect me,’ and ‘I’m smart,’ and ‘Don’t look at me that way.'”- Natalie Portman
Many famous women and men who have either very few sexual partners or lose their virginities later in life or wait until marriage often have Mars ruled nakshatras.
Tina Fey lost her virginity at the age of 24 to the man who would become her husband. She has Chitra Moon
Jessica Alba, Dhanishta Moon said this:
"I didn't really [seriously] go out with any guys until I was 18 and met my ex-fiancé, Michael Weatherly,"
"It just didn't work out. I was so young, 18, when I started dating him. I was a virgin. I knew I wanted to be in love with the first person I slept with, because for almost everyone I knew, the first experience made them feel like shit," she continued. "So I wanted to be really careful that he was going to be in love with me and wasn't just going to leave me."
Celine Dion, Ketu in Chitra lost her virginity to her husband Rene Angelil.
Courteney Cox, Mrigashira Sun, lost her virginity at the age of 21
Another nakshatra(s) that I've often noticed coming up in the charts of many people who are sexually conservative or have traditional values is Punarvasu and Pushya.
Tamera Mowry waited until she was 29 to have sex and then felt guilty about it and was celibate until she got married. She has Punarvasu Sun (amatyakaraka) and Jupiter in Punarvasu (atmakaraka) along with Moon & Mercury in Pushya
Miranda Kerr, Punarvasu Moon & Pushya Rising dated her now husband for 3 years before marrying him and they waited until they were married to have sex.
"Not until after we get married," she said "He is very traditional. We can't … I mean we're just … waiting."
Jennifer Lawrence, Mrigashira Moon has said this:
"I always talk like I want d---, but the truth is when I look back at my sexual past it was always with boyfriends," the actress told The Sun. "I am mostly also a germaphobe. I have made it this far without an STI. D--- is dangerous. If I was at the point where I could get an STI, doctors have already been involved. That is how much of a germaphobe I am."
She has admitted to never having had casual sex and has often been subject to stalking, and following the leak of her private pictures, she's talked about how violated she feels about the whole experience. All of these are themes that manifest in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.
Jessica Simpson, Punarvasu Sun & Mercury was a virgin until she married her husband Nick Lachey when she was 21
Justin Bieber, Chitra Moon, Dhanishta Mercury & Mars went through a period of celibacy and waited until marriage to have sex with Hailey.
“[God] doesn’t ask us not to have sex for him because he wants rules and stuff. He’s like, I’m trying to protect you from hurt and pain. I think sex can cause a lot of pain. Sometimes people have sex because they don’t feel good enough. Because they lack self-worth. Women do that, and guys do that. I wanted to rededicate myself to God in that way because I really felt it was better for the condition of my soul. And I believe that God blessed me with Hailey as a result,”
Kevin Jonas, Mercury & Mars in Chitra was a virgin until he married his wife when he was 20.
Lady Gaga, Mrigashira Rising once said:
"I don’t really have sex. I’m quite celibate now," she went on, "I don’t really get time to meet anyone. don’t trust anybody. And I don’t know if I ever will. But it’s okay. It’s the trade-off."
While revealing that she was 'perpetually lonely' when it comes to relationships, Gaga also understood that it's her 'condition as an artist'.
"I also think I’m afraid of depleting my energy. I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina."
Tumblr media
the story of Rapunzel is intricately connected to Mrigashira.
we're familiar with how Rapunzel is held captive in a tower with an evil witch pretending to be her mother gaslighting her into thinking the outside world isn't safe enough for her to navigate, the myth behind Mrigashira nakshatra is of how Brahma tries to have an incestuous relationship with his favourite daughter Rohini who tries to escape this by leaving heaven behind and coming down to earth and taking the form of a deer. This deer is Mrigashira.
due to this background, Mrigashira natives often spend their lives running from things or feeling like they're being chased. Being gaslit is also (unfortunately) a big theme because they're running away from their home where they were being abused and its looked down upon as them misbehaving or causing trouble because its considered taboo to run away from your home. even though they're the victim they're constantly gaslit into thinking otherwise. this is the reason why so many Mrigashira natives stay in abusive relationships/homes for far too long.
in Tangled, Rapunzel is voiced by Mandy Moore who is Mrigashira Rising
In an interview, Brooke Shields, Mrigashira Moon said about her mom : “Even while I was [making the films] she did this high-wire act of protecting me, like Rapunzel in a tower,” Shields says. “So I was able to stay naive. It was a constant contradiction.”
Tumblr media
she also interestingly played an obsessive stalker in an episode of Friends,
Tumblr media
in the movie A Beautiful Mind, Jennifer Connelly, Mrigashira Moon plays the wife of an economist with schizophrenia. She initially believes that his hallucinations are real and only learns of his condition much later and even though her and her baby's safety is under threat she still chooses to stay by his side and support him.
Tumblr media
Jim Carrey, Mrigashira Moon plays the titular Truman in the movie The Truman Show where a man unbeknownst to him is a character on a show that is telecast to the world.
Being gaslit and struggling to fully understand the nature of reality is a common theme in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.
Returning to the theme of how sexualized Martian women tend to be, here are several examples:
They tend to be so sexualized by others that they feel cut off from their sexuality themselves, i.e, it does not feel safe to indulge in pleasure.
Jennifer Lawrence, Mrigashira Moon
"Anybody can go look at my naked body without my consent, any time of the day,” she says. “Somebody in France just published them. My trauma will exist forever.” She shakes it off with a wincing grin. “Have you ever wanted to be an actress?”
Pamela Anderson, Mrigashira Rising
Her sextape was stolen from her house and circulated widely and later on a biopic about her and Tommy was made which portrayed her in the worst possible light. She has been deprived of autonomy over her own narrative.
Another thing to keep in mind is how Mrigashira is the only Deva gana nak among the Mars ruled nak, both Chitra & Dhanishta are Rakshasa gana and as such they feel little shame or guilt in owning and embracing all aspects of their sexuality.
Here's an example of Amber Rose, Chitra Sun who was similarly sexualized and slut shamed by the media and she had a vastly different response that some of the above mentioned women who sort of went incognito and dialled down on things:
"I just got to a point where people were saying: “She’s sex, she’s a slut, she’s a ho, she’s this, she’s that…” and I thought, okay, well I’m going to piss you off even more and come out with a sex toy line. There you go people, you can have that. You get to a point where you literally can’t give a shit and live your best life."
Kim Cattrall, Dhanishta moon
“It was so much fun to leave behind this kind of sexual icon thing. I was so ready to shed it. I’ve been sexualised since a very early part of my career. I understand it, I’ve made it work for me, but I’ve always felt that I’m a character actress stuck inside a leading lady’s body. Now, I feel like I am doing my best work.”
Look at how different their responses are in comparison to many Mrigashira natives.
Many Martian women attain fame and notoriety for their bodies and sex appeal
Kate Upton, Sun & Venus in Mrigashira
Marilyn Monroe was Dhanishta Moon
Kat Dennings, Mrigashira Sun
Dita Von Teese, Mrigashira Moon
Claudia Schiffer, Mrigashira Moon
Candace Swanepoel, Chitra Sun
Ashley Graham, Dhanishta Moon
Denise Richards, Dhanishta Sun
Ariel Winter, Dhanishta Moon
Carrie Fisher, Chitra Sun
Tumblr media
Jennifer Garner, Mrigashira Moon
In 2013, Jennifer gave a testimony to the California legislature about her experience and urged them to pass a bill that would grant children some protections from paparazzi. That bill ultimately passed. She has talked extensively about being stalked and how she lives with a lot of anxiety because of it.
Sandra Bullock, Dhanishta Moon , with Mrigashira stellium (inc Rising) experienced a horrifying home invasion in 2014 when a stalker broke into her house. He killed himself in 2018. She's had multiple stalkers and has chosen to live a very lowkey life to protect the privacy and safety of herself and her family.
Tumblr media
Nadya Suleman better known as Octomum is a Dhanishta Rising and became notorious for her brief tryst with porn stardom and posing nude along with working as a stripper after initially becoming infamous for having octuplets.
Janis Joplin, Dhanishta Rising grew up in a conservative household and ran away to San Francisco as an adult where she entered a relationship with a man who soon left her. As he was walking away from her, Janis literally grabbed his leg and was dragged along the way. At that very moment, she decided she would never again beg for love.
“I’d’ve fucked anything, taken anything…I did. I’d take it, suck it, lick it, smoke it, shoot it, drop it, fall in love with it….”
"My music isn’t supposed to make you wanna riot! My music is supposed to make you wanna fuck!”
I mention these two as examples for how Dhanishta natives are examples of the type of Martian women who don't feel guilty about their desires or urges and refuse to be shamed for it; they may be hypersexual or chaste but they do not let others tell them what to do.
......................
This post is a bit all over the place but I hope you'll excuse that, I wanted to talk about the relationship with sex, sexuality (among other things) that Mars natives have, I feel like went into several different tangents but :/
I hope this was informative and interesting.
Happy New Year!! <333
350 notes · View notes
sword-dad-fukuzawa · 1 year
Text
I wanna talk about Knives for a second.
Tristamp's version of Nai is wildly more obsessed with Vash on main and he's a lot more explicit about his motivations, at least when talking to his brother. Not only does he want a world of two for them (consistent with the Trigun manga) but he's on this path, ostensibly, because he wants to protect Vash. Because Vash doesn't have any of the special powers that Nai or the other plants does, Nai wants to keep him safe from the humans that would exploit him. In his words, "It's all for you."
Which is very...incestuously romantic and creepy and heart-shattering for Vash ("Boku no se de? / It's all my fault?") but also not the whole truth. I doubt it, at least. Nai is a textbook DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender) abuser with a talent for gaslighting ("You're sick, Vash.") He's trying to shatter his brother. He would say anything, in that moment, that would break Vash.
And sure, there's a seed of truth there. You can't separate Nai from his obsessive attachment to Vash any more than you could separate him from the genocidal urges.
But you also can't really take him at his word. I can't help but think "It's all for you" is a justification, something to let Knives sleep better at night, because at the core of it, Nai is characterized first and foremost by his fear.
Before the rage, before the mental instability, and, most painfully, before any of the love, he's scared. He's scared of what humans might do to him, of what they might do to Vash. He's scared of being hurt, of being exploited, of Tesla happening again. He's a tall, frightened child.
Whether or not his fear is justified (a topic for another post, though I'd say it is, especially in tristamp), it's clear that his fear makes him monstrous.
Monsters don't want to think they're monsters. That's the first rule of storytelling. So when his brother comes calling, demands why Nai can't stop killing people, Knives has to answer in a way that absolves him of blame. He settles on, "It's all for you." It's both the greatest lie and the greatest truth of the series.
He loves Vash so much he'd eradicate all of humanity to keep him safe; but that's not a path he would choose if he wasn't terrified of what humans could do. A lot of characters like to accuse Vash of being selfish, and there's arguments for and against that. But Knives? Knives is the most selfish one of all.
Isn't that a delicious kind of reversal? Vash is the one who's been hurt by humans again and again and again. His skin is a monument to pain. Yet he's not scared of them. He's never been scared of what humans might do to him. If anything, he's scared of Knives. What Knives will do. Who Knives will take away from him. What else Knives will destroy.
And Nai, the self-styled god bringing about Armageddon? He's fucking terrified.
908 notes · View notes
heretherebedork · 2 months
Note
So I know Qian probably has feelings for Yuan already, but do you think he's aware of them? Cause I noticed that once he realized Feng was interested in him, he put an end to that real quick (and props to them for being adults about the situation), but he's not saying "I don't have feelings for Yuan" now that he knows he's in love with him. Then again, he's not really saying much of anything at all.
I don't think Qian is aware of his own romantic feelings towards Yuan because he has not allowed himself to experience those feelings in any capacity whatsoever.
Tumblr media
Because he has spent their time looking at Yuan as a brother but also being at least mildly homophobic, enough to consider being gay to be a negative thing and something not to be.
Tumblr media
Qian is trapped in a place where he is deeply uncomfortable with himself and in denial of himself and he loves Yuan but he cannot feel what he feels towards.
Tumblr media
He needs to process everything he's feeling and process everything that happened and due to his trauma and his history that is going to take a lot of time and space and pain because he doesn't want to process it.
Tumblr media
Qian doesn't want to love Yuan romantically. He doesn't want to be queer. He doesn't want to have to face the pain of his past or to try and face this relationship he's being offered because it's terrifying.
Tumblr media
The love between them is fraught with the past, with trauma and loss and fear and pain, with Qian's fighting and Yuan's desperate loyalty and the ties of family but not the bonds of blood and what it means to love and what different kinds of love mean to people.
Tumblr media
Qian cares so, so much about Yuan but he doesn't know how to face himself or his own feelings without having to admit that he raised Yuan from a child and now is coming to love him differently.
Tumblr media
And, keeping in mind, as a victim of actual incestual abuse from his mother Qian is even more likely to be worried about hurting Yuan and about causing this in him, more likely to blame himself for this but also to beat himself up for it, for hurting Yuan, for causing Yuan to be 'like this'...
All of this is to say that Qian does love Yuan but he has so much he has to fight through, so much he has to learn from, so much introspection that is going to delve into some of the most painful parts of himself... that he might love him but he doesn't know and he can't yet face it.
(But the situation with Feng does show that he is more aware than San Pang gives him credit for in terms of romance and that he might even be aware that he's gay but denying it out of fear.)
105 notes · View notes
nemastraea · 7 months
Text
Doormat extraordinaire: Andrew Graves is down horrendous for his own sister | Part 1
Or as I like to call it, actual literal word vomit attempting a proper character analysis!
Here's a link to the AO3 version for archive purposes: The doormat extraordinaire has a bit of a romantic streak,
Content warning: This will heavily feature spoilers from Episodes 1 & 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Trigger warning: Abuse, cannibalism, child neglect, codependency, harassment, incest, murder, self-harm, and suicide. Disclaimer: I will occasionally reference an extremely normal essay from Sufficient Velocity commenter Leyleyfication (here). It would be a lot easier to read this essay first as Leyleyfication does a pretty good job establishing the following: - Ashley is dependent on Andrew to assure and validate her of her own insecurities, and - The game heavily implies that Andrew wants to fuck his own sister.
Anyway: The Coffin of Andy and Leyley! A game in early access where a pair of siblings are stuck through a seemingly never-ending quarantine together, desperate not to starve to death. When their cultist neighbor dies in a ritual gone wrong, they rationally resort to cannibalism. Fun!
I am definitely going to assume that you read Leyleyfication's extremely normal essay (I am on my knees, begging you to read that). Which is why this essay immediately starts with, "yeah, Andrew definitely wants to fuck his sister" as its baseline.
What I will be adding to that funny little cauldron of fucked up sibling dynamics in a horror visual novel are the following: Andrew's fixation and sexual attraction manifests as his desire to control, dominate, and possess Ashley. And it is framed as a fatalist attraction and the totality of his existence (for worse or even worse).
Because of Tumblr's limit for 30 images per post, though, I'm going to have to split this extremely normal and reasonably lengthy essay into... multiple posts! Yeah! I have no idea how long this will fucking go!
So first things first: how can we tell that Andrew is even attracted to Ashley in the first place?
Tumblr media
Nemlei (Devlog 05). Note the hickeys above and below Ashley's choker and her left inner thigh, and Andrew's left hand creeping into her right thigh.
As Leyleyfication points out, the game primes us to believe that Andrew is a pushover and Ashley is his abuser. This occurs in the Steam page as it explicitly says Ashley is "in fact, very bad" and Andrew is a "doormat extraordinaire." Moreover, it's very easy to tell that Ashley is, on some degree, obsessed with Andrew:
She's happy to hear that Julia broke up with Andrew over the phone;
She repeatedly accuses him of finding the Lady from Room 302 attractive and he 'tried anything with her;' and
Her flashback to wanting to punish her friend Nina ("the Bitch in the Box") for crushing on Andrew.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 1, dream and memory. Leyley previously said that Nina should know better than to 'steal from another woman,' referring to herself. The implication that Andy is hers is toyed with after this moment, when she says she'd put Andy back in the box.
The game does prime us to think that Ashley is Andrew's abuser. It also suggests that Ashley projects an unrequited and incestuous love onto Andrew. Before we consider Episode 2's narrative, Episode 1 gives the initial impression that if Andrew comes to reciprocate her feelings, it's more of a reaction and subsuming to her will. That it may not be something he wants for himself and independent of Ashley's manipulation.
But again, I do believe Andrew wants to fuck Ashley. And always has been. He just frequently vacillate between 'subtle' and 'really fucking obvious' tells that completely take advantage of the game's third person limited POV.
Keep in mind that both Andrew and Ashley are extremely unreliable narrators. We aren't going to get information they personally do not care about and that is on top of our own choices as the player.
(A digressive example: you will not learn that the founder and CEO of Toxisoda's company was a former surgeon unless you interact with the television in Andrew's Episode 2 dream and memory of their blood oath. Otherwise, it neatly ties into the surgeon that Mrs. Graves conveniently says she was directed to regarding the siblings' quarantine in the main story.)
When it's really fucking obvious
When you play as Andrew in Episode 2, his post-dinner argument with Ashley carefully frames them both. They are cramped in the foreground and Andrew's left arm is conveniently blocked by Ashley and the kitchen knife, as seen here.
Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, you can interact with Mrs. Graves for her to pointedly comment on the siblings being inseparable.
At this point in the game, their physical closeness is something we're used to by now. After all, we've already seen Ashley on his lap at least twice; Andrew slept in her bed in Episode 1; and Ashley confirmed they've shared the same motel bed multiple times in the one-week interim between Episodes 1 & 2.
But the game abruptly shifts to Mrs. Graves' POV when she enters the scene and not only do we see the two as physically close, but we notice a few more details.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. The first picture transitions from Andrew's POV to Mrs. Graves as it introduces us to her entering the scene.
The contrast of how spacious the kitchen is from Mrs. Graves' POV to Andrew's cramped POV is obvious. More importantly, Andrew's fingers loop through Ashley's belt loops when the two are huddled together. When Mrs. Graves clears her throat, the two don't really separate.
Ashley pivots on her left foot so that her body is turned to their mother, not Andrew, but she doesn't step away from him. Andrew, meanwhile, recoils from Ashley and withdraws his hand. But he isn't turning his body to face their mother like Ashley does here. His attention, at least in this moment, is still towards Ashley (and, yanno, the sink).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. Two things to consider in the second picture: Andrew hides Ashley's bite mark on his cheek with his left sleeve and he conveniently moves the pillow from behind him to his front.
The 'tell' isn't so much as the two are unusually physically close. Again, we're used to that by now. But it's how the two siblings react whenever Mrs. Graves comes into the picture. Ashley doesn't really give a fuck about whether or not people assume the worst of her or even her intentions regarding Andrew. To Ashley, their proximity is normal and anyone who sees that as a problem is not worth an explanation or reason.
But Andrew is at least subconsciously aware it's 'not normal.' As far as these moments are concerned, Andrew instinctively tries to do damage control by either putting space between them or keeping his hands occupied so they aren't visibly touching Ashley. Still, he either does not mind or actively appreciates his physical closeness with Ashley.
When it's really fucking obvious (but only in hindsight)
In Episode 1, Ashley passes out after trying to clean up after the apartment. Regardless of her passing out in the living room, the bathroom, or their parents' room, she will wake up on the couch with her head pillowed by Andrew's lap.
Tumblr media
Episode 1, Ashley's POV. Andrew's hands often hover over Ashley's head, but more than that—
I personally didn't notice this until I replayed Episode 1, when I basically have the hindsight of Andrew's fixation with hair. But yes, his fingers idly twirl through the ends of Ashley's hair as they watch TV. It's implied that Andrew can and will do this when Ashley pillows his lap, awake or asleep. He does not recoil from it when Ashley does wake up and later on, in Episode 2, even continues to brush it from her face.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. Ashley fell asleep at the passenger seat, so Andrew had to have transferred her to the back seat to pillow her head again. Though, technically, she's more cramped at the back seat than if he'd just reclined the passenger seat.
So far, we've seen that Andrew has a natural tendency to not only be physically close to Ashley, but to hover over her personal space and be in constant and direct contact with her. Whether it's by having her head on his lap, twirling her hair through his fingers, or even constantly grabbing her by the head in various states of comfort, playfulness, or outright threat (but let's put a pin on that for now).
The weight behind this candid contact shifts when Episode 2 draws a pretty explicit parallel between Julia and Ashley. Assuming that you interacted with Julia's landline and heard Ashley's voicemails, you know (and Andrew knows) that Ashley draws that connection herself:
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to... It's not you he seeks out. It is me.
Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and vision implies that Andrew's heard these voicemails before.
That connection extends to the hair contact as well, as Andrew goes in to hug Julia, cards his hand through her hair and requests she tie her hair up.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and memory of Julia when they're older. From the use of Andrew's present-age portrait, suggests is closer to the timeline of the game's events than his and Ashley's memories as Andy and Leyley.
From this moment, we can have one of two assumptions: either Andrew wants Julia's (black) hair put up like Ashley's, or Ashley caught onto Andrew's hair kink and puts her hair up to imitate it.
Regardless, we infer the following:
Andrew teases affection through touching and even pulling on one's hair.
His fixation on ponytails and pulling on them does not exclude his own sister. It still stands and without reservation, perhaps more explicitly since he can do it so candidly, as we saw before.
The last of that Julia-Ashley parallel is self-contained within Episode 2. But only if you end up in the Burial route regardless of Ashley's platonic or incestuous vision.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route (first picture) and Burial route (second picture). It's worth pointing out that Andrew is actually disinterested and moody during his conversation with Julia, and only perks up when he mentions Ashley or feigns care for Julia (since he extends his care of Ashley to her as well).
The game ends up drawing parallels on how Andrew treats Ashley, for better or for worse, with his ex (which is definitely worse, poor Julia). In doing so, the game blurs the lines between romantic affection for Julia and 'platonic and familial' affection for Ashley.
Y'all, this isn't even getting into how Andrew respectfully gives his parents space and only crowds them when he threatens them with his cleaver. In his mind, Ashley and Julia are in that same space of physical and romantic displays of affection; something he reserves only for them (only without reservation for Ashley) that does not extend to anyone else. His ex-girlfriend, and his sister. Shit's wild.
When it's obvious BUT it's violent!
That isn't to say that his hair fixation (hair kink?) is completely innocuous, though, as it rears its ugly head (pun unintended) in Decay. Which is what that previous pin was for! Yay!
You end up in the Decay route if Ashley doesn't trust Andrew with keeping an eye on their parents. Here, Ashley sleeps on their parents' bed by herself and has an alarming vision: an unknown party chases after her through the in-between and when they catch up to her, it's Andrew. Ashley has nowhere to run and Andrew eventually grabs her and threatens to kill her.
Whether or not Ashley can defend herself depends on Andrew expending all of her gun's ammo when he deals with the hitman, or not. But that outcome divergence will matter much, much later (so that's another pin for us to come back to).
The sequence of events actually mirrors the way the siblings ambush the Lady from Room 302 back in Episode 1. There, Andrew closes in on her and grabs the Lady by her wrist and uses his front to pin and restrain her. With his cleaver to her throat, the Lady is completely at his mercy.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 1 & 2, common route (first picture) and Decay route (second, third, and fourth pictures). Note that Andrew restrains the Lady from Room 302 by the wrist while with Ashley, by her hair.
Andrew asserts control of the person and the situation through violence. Whether it's by killing them (the wardens) or by threatening physical violence (the Lady from Room 302 and Ashley). It's always on the table for him. As Leyleyfication puts it, "He's so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence [here]."
That violence includes Ashley. It's always on the table where Ashley's concerned. The game even juxtaposes when Andrew threatens violence and physical assault 'playfully' versus when he's seriously out for blood:
When you interact with the wall of call girls' numbers and Ashley jokes about leaving her number on the wall, Andrew 'jokingly' threatens to backhand her for even thinking about it.
When you interact with their parents' latched window for a second time, Andrew 'teases' slapping Ashley if she doesn't find a way to open it. (Ashley jokingly asks if it's on her ass or at her face, and assumes it must be the face when Andrew says she'll have to find out.)
The two other times that Andrew exerts violence against Ashley are both in Episode 1 & 2. We can remember when that happens in Episode 1, when Andrew's had it with Ashley's fits and threatens to kill her:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 1, common route. Y'all, Andrew was choking her hard enough for his grip to bruise.
It happens again in Decay when he confronts Ashley about repeatedly calling him Andy and therefore, breaking the promise he coerced her into from Episode 1.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, Decay route. Another thing to keep in mind is that Andrew's outburst is preceded by Ashley prodding him about his current state and insisting that Andrew was fine with 'Andy' during their home invasion.
In Episode 1, Andrew resorts to harming Ashley because he's fucking had it with her accusing him repeatedly of trying anything with the Lady from 302 and, in her eyes, his 'infidelity.' Where she accuses Andrew of not loving her enough that if his eye catches another girl, he'd leave her behind or flip on her. In Episode 2, she's poking and prodding on his boundaries on 'Andy' and whether or not, once again, he's with her on their now-committed life of joint crime.
If I can give another example, it happens in Andrew's common route memory of Nina's death and his blood oath with Leyley.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, Andy expresses immense exasperation at Leyley's tantrums over him 'thinking about that bitch again.' When he goes to grab the kitchen knife, cleans it, and returns to Leyley on his bed—he's briefly considering killing her.
Andrew threatens Ashley violently whenever he intends to confront her on her perceived brattiness, for lack of a better word. And keep Leyleyfication's essay segment on Ashley's insecurities and need for Andrew's validation in mind here—when Ashley does this, she wants and even needs Andrew to comfort her. But her aggression treads Andrew's patience and really, his tolerance of her behavior.
When Ashley's anger, clinging behavior, insecurities, and possessiveness of Andrew slips his control and tolerance, he resorts to violence to coerce or even dominate her.
I think (or hope, if it's clear enough) it reinforces what Leyleyfication points out:
The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don't mean in the sense that I'm saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this.
It also reflects on another aspect of why Andrew resorts to violence: in all three situations, Andrew remarks on Ashley's behavior and her sake. If she acts up again once they're out of the apartment, it'll cause trouble for him while they're evading authorities. If she's going to call him Andy from hereon out, what's the point of running away with her. If she expects him to leverage keeping 'her secret,' he won't because it's for her sake.
Andrew rationalizes his attempt to control of Ashley's behavior as being for her sake. But really, isn't it him confining her behavior to something he can tolerate and personally handle?
I'd also like to point out that Andrew admits that he noticed Ashley push for calling him 'Andy' during the home invasion, and he did not argue with her on it while they held their parents hostage and readied to sacrifice them. We can infer that when Andrew calculates his use of violence, that can also factor when, where, and how he exerts it.
--
Well, that's where I can reasonably end this half of my word vomit! Now, onwards, to part 2!
207 notes · View notes
loving-family-poll · 5 months
Text
Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 2
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Homestuck fanart by Timsel-kun on deviantart
Propaganda under the cut:
Beverly/Elliot:
Hot lesbians both played by Rachel Weisz! And they're canon in the book it's based on, and like HEAVILY implied to be for realsies in love and fucking in the show. Great lesbianism, great incest
There's literally a scene where elliot is listening intently to beverly having sex in the next room, and she like moans listening to it ok
Beverly's gf breaks up with her cuz she's weirded out by the twins relationship
Beverly likes to attend a support group for ppl with dead siblings and pretend her sister is dead like the psychosexual issues here.....
beverly and elliot were literally trying to have a child together. Elliot (a gynecologist) artificially impregnated Beverly MULTIPLE TIMES
Dave/Rose:
Daverose blondetwin sweep because they were codependent without ever meeting from growing up seeing each other in their dreams
What does it mean to be an abused teenage boy growing up alone and seeing a girl in your dreams every night who is also your best friend. and when you finally meet her you go on a suicide mission together even though nobody was asking you to die with her. and then you are the only two human beings left in the recognizable universe on a cold meteor surrounded by aliens but you’re glad it’s with her. and when you finally touch the girl from your childhood dreams she looks exactly like you. because she’s your sister
I don't have words for how good these snarky assholes are together. DaveRose is brain chemistry changing. They both put up so many fronts, and engage in so much snarky wordplay, and are constantly trying to get under each other's facade. They play off each other so well, witty and sharp, I need them to be together always
We all die & we all die alone are the two cold truths of the universe but dave and rose broke both simultaneously by ascending to godhood together
Their twincest wins because it is just so confusingly tragic? profound? dave leaving rose behind in a doomed world, dave following her to the bomb. they are both so closed & cut off & curt its hard to imagine the depth of these things. but that is their love language: giving up their lives for each other over and over, in a confusing and fumbling and heartfelt love song. i can’t say i love you but i know we’ll die together anyway. because we’re made of the exact same stuff. i’ll find you again at the last moment. that’s love.
THEY DIED TOGETHER, YOUR HONOR
Confirmed canon by the author, (something happened) between them. Parallels of dying by each other's sides in EVERY timeline. They are THE womb-to-tomb. There is nothing platonic about winking at your brother while talking about crushes, that shit is incestuous. Seer/Knight archetype. They will die protecting each other.
do you realize love someone if you don’t follow them on a suicide mission into the gaping maw of a literal fucking sun after they knock you out and psychoanalyze you in your dreams? the blueprint of the “ethereal androgynous blonde boygirl twins” trope. witch/knight dynamics. they find each other to die together in every timeline no matter what (but they’re still emotionally constipated teenagers who bicker and make fun of each other in pesterchum). kids with grown-up powers. perfect little freaks of nature. what if we looked exactly like each other’s eyes
183 notes · View notes
rottendollface · 2 months
Text
The Horror of Our Love. Chapter 4.
Tumblr media
Co-author: @bigtimesalt8196
Character: Childe Tartaglia | Ajax.
Image: Picsart Al.
Warnings: NSFW; Ajax is older than in canon;
broken time line and age line for the sake
of plot; female virgin reader, incestuous
relationship, family abuse, self-harm,
misogyny, mentions of rape, unprotected
sex, black magic, blood and flesh magic,.
body horror, sacrilegious, Foul Legacy
Childe, breeding kink, miscarriage, marriage
grooming, pregnancy, erotic lactation.
murdering, abyssal soulmates, serfdom
system in Snezhnaya; all the characters are
adults; 18+.
Time was running mercilessly and the date of Ajax's departure was getting closer. Your mental state improved and you opened to your family, but the common joy ended quickly, as you hid into your wordless shell again, frustrated with a hollow feeling of upcoming loneliness. 
Ajax was stressed out. It wasn't rare for you to find him talking to himself, discussing plans for the future and even arguing. Ajax's short temper and unreleased anger were showing at these moments: he was gesticulating in an excited manner; if not, he was walking back and forth, and sighing heavily. 
It happened again when you were searching for Ajax to tell him to come and help others on the stable. You heard his heavy footsteps on the second floor. Before you knocked on the door, you overheard him saying something about grandmother. 
“How in the world could an uneducated hard-working woman become a witch? Still can't get it right in my head.”
You shouldn't be heeding to his words – you were taught not to eavesdrop, but something in your mind told you to stay and spy on Ajax. You pressed your ear to the door and leaned on it. It was unusual and exciting for you until you heard someone answering him.
“You don't need to have specific knowledge to become a witch. She was in so much despair and pain it made her prayers especially sweet and strong. We couldn't ignore such a broken soul. After she got the power, she got the education as well – we taught her to read and count in one hour.”
You frowned, trying to understand who Ajax was talking to. You didn't hear that voice before and it sounded strange: loud, deep and hoarse. At first you couldn't even understand what the person was talking about – their speech was gibberish without words. You heeded, then your mind translated it to a normal humanly sounding state.
“Brilliant. And who was she praying to?”
“She was praying to the devils, young master. The disadvantage of her choice is simple – you never know who will answer to your call.” The person chuckled. You frowned. “In her case, it wasn't just a deal. It was a salvation. We saw a potential in her: her hatred and thirst for vengeance were commendable. She wanted someone from her family to inherit the power and continue the legacy. Just like in the prophecy.”
“A prophecy?”
“Not now, young master. You want to ask me about the diary and the missing part of the power, I can feel.”
“Don't you dare tell me what I want to do.” Ajax hissed. “I had enough of this! One more time you and your fucking henchmen show me these lousy dreams I'll send you all to the deepest of the Abyss and let the guards have some fun with you all in the same manner. Speak and then get lost, son of a bitch.”
“So, part of the power was passed to your dearest sister and there is no way for you to get it back from her, but she will share it with you.”
“What?!” Ajax was stunned. 
“Ask her yourself. Not in my duties to explain everything to you. But I must confess she has a rather beautiful birthmark on her pretty back. Such a pleasure to watch her dressing up in the morning.”
You felt that someone pushed the door and jumped back so as not to fall into the room. 
“Ajax! Father needs your help on the stable.” You spoke first and played like you didn't hear anything. Ajax froze with an aggressive expression on his face, but his gaze became softer when he looked at you. 
“'Thanks,” He didn't wait and rushed to the stable. You stood aside to give him enough space, then looked into the room.
You made a step into it. The atmosphere here was different. A cold sweat broke out your body when you realized whom Ajax was talking to. In a second you felt that everything around you was hostile and hurried to get back to your room, but the door closed right in front of you. In fact… you had questions too, but you were afraid to build up communication with those ghoulish creatures. 
“How can I get rid of you?” You asked into the fake emptiness. 
“There is no way.” The answer was given to you immediately. You cried out, regretting your decision. “We serve your brother.”
“What about me? You said I have the same power as him.” Your brain was running fast, as you tried to rate the risk of the situation. You didn't want to repeat your recent journey of escaping demons, so you stayed alerted. Just a reminiscence of it made you weak in your knees.
“You stole a part of it from him. We mean no harm to you because of the master's order, but we have no desire to help you.” A mocking voice said, leaving you angry. 
“You caused me a lot of harm.” You flared up. You realized that you wanted to play dirty on them. “I'll ask your master to execute his threat. You'll get what you deserve.” You grinned, imagining the torture Ajax promised to them. “Open the door.”
The door opened with a creak. You stepped out and the daze fell from your mind. Your heart was beating like crazy and your limbs started shaking from the fact that you commanded those demons. 
“I hope you are suffering in a sulfur flame, grandma!” You couldn't keep the sudden outbreak of anger inside your throat. It all was her fault. Ajax and you were doomed to repeat her miserable fate because of her selfishness. The old fool believed in some prophecy – you were sure it was just a fiction of the demons to trick her into selling her family's souls to the devil as well. “Stupid cunt! Why couldn't you kill your husband without this fucking heresy?!” You screamed and froze. You opened your eyes so wide they hurt and pressed your palms to your mouth, trying to understand what you just said.
You made it to your room, feeling dizzy from the overexcitement. You laid down to rest. You felt so disgusted by your attitude you couldn't even believe that you let these words out of your mouth. Guilt was gnawing at your heart. Your head and your chest were heavy, you were about to doze off to sleep. Recently you got health issues: no matter what, you always were sleepy. With every day it was harder for you to wake up and get out of bed. You slept for ten and more hours, skipped meals and house work, as you felt completely drained out of energy. Even father stopped bothering you: despite his strictness, he was concerned about your health. 
Suddenly you remembered about the diary and your attention focused on it. You got up but sat down on the edge of your bed, because your vision blacked from a sudden move. You took the diary from its secret place and started reading from the very beginning. You didn't know what you hoped to find, and everything you read didn't make any sense. The words were written in a normal human language, but you couldn't understand a thing from it, as if the diary itself didn't want you to know its secrets. 
You stopped in the middle part to examine a magic circle that was drawn on a page. It was a simple circle with two smaller size circles inside of it. The smallest one had inside two triangles merged in the shape of a star, and in the free space in the middle of the triangles there was an eye; outside the smaller circles there were four crescent moons. You looked at it carefully, then read through the text on the next page and managed to understand it. The text was about an astral plane – an experience of lucid dreaming with the astral projection of your soul traveling through the spiritual world. Flashbacks of grandmother's house attacked your mind right after you decided to explain to yourself the definition of the spiritual world. There was no other useful information to gain and nothing was said on how to get into another world. 
You returned the diary to its place, then realized that there was something wrong with it. It seemed like the diary was deciding which information to give to you, and which one to hide – maybe it was some sort of magic. Bewildered, you took a deep breath and laid for a nap. You were in a slumber when Teucer opened the door and came to your room on his tiptoes. He looked around, then stared at your face. 
“Older sister,” he whispered and shook you by your shoulder. You woke up with a scream, making him jump back. “There is a noise inside your room!” By Teucer's tone you could tell he felt as scared as you. 
“What? I heard nothing.” You rubbed your sleepy face, hardly understanding what he was trying to tell you.
“No! I could swear I heard something inside!” In a second Teucer turned into a whiny boy, his voice got crying notes – it was his usual strategy to attract attention to his words. “'Like someone was scratching on the wood!”
“It was mice, probably.” You tried to wave him away. You were too tired to talk: your whole body was heavy and your eyes were clothing on itself. You couldn't sit anymore and laid on your side. Teucer's ginger hair irritated you with its bright color, it made your eyes hurt. You couldn't hear him anymore, simply ignored everything he tried to tell you. Teucer ran away, as he got no response from you.
Just a moment after he came back with Ajax, lamenting on your behavior. Ajax sighed, patted Teucer's head and promised to take a look at the situation. Teucer, who was feeling like a hero, left Ajax and you alone. “What's wrong, dove?” Ajax closed the door and sat on the bed. He brushed away hair that fell on your face. You could feel his peculiar look with your skin.
“Nothing.” You mumbled, hiding your face in a pillow. “I just want to rest.”
“Don't want to seem rude,” Ajax's voice was anxious. “but you are resting too much. Are you okay?”
You didn't answer him, as you fell asleep already. All Ajax could do was to cover you with a blanket and leave, tormented by conjectures. He asked the devils by his side about your health, but their answer was vague – an eclipse was about to happen. Ajax spent the day without you, hoping that you would wake up, but you didn't. 
As usual, he came to your room at night when everyone else was asleep. Ajax found you awake, reading the diary. Two candles were illuminating the room; the wind was howling behind the window, bringing chilly air through the loose shutter. Your room was the coziest in the whole house to Ajax, because it was you to leave here. It was located in the back of the house, poorly furnished and cold, but your presence made it comfortable and welcoming. You closed the diary and put it in the secret spot.
“Do you mind sharing something interesting with me?” Ajax blew out the candles and made himself comfortable in bed. He laid on his side, so he could face you.
“Just a magic book paired with an autobiography.” You did as well, looking at your brother in the dark. “Ajax,” you started, but stumbled, afraid that your question would make him angry. Still, you continued. “Is there any chance for us to return to a normal life?”
“It is our normal life now. You better get used to it.” Ajax sighed. “It is our fate, dove, and we can do nothing about it.”
“I don't want fate like this. I would better die, than…” you bit your tongue, realizing how foul your words were. 
“We were talking about the diary.” Ajax replied with a stern voice that sent shivers down your spine. 
You got nervous and scratched your clavicle. “I don't understand what is happening. Why are we talking so casually about something like this, ignoring all the devilry that is surrounding us?” 
You were the voice of sense, and Ajax lost all his words. You were right – for him it was a usual topic, but for you, who almost lost one's mind contacting the devils and was contaminated with abyssal power against one's will, it was a delirium of polluted brain. 
“That's not something we should discuss for a night. I'll tell you everything later.” Ajax put his pinky finger towards you and you did so, sealing the promise.
In a small talk you were the one to lead the conversation. Ajax kept you in his tight embrace, replying leisurely. His warmth and soft smell of his sweat made you feel relaxed – in this chaos of life Ajax's hands were the only space you felt safe in. It was selfish, it was unfair, but Ajax was the only reason that kept you in this world. His love was your motivation to live and become better. You wanted to protect Ajax in your own way by giving him solace he needed. No one could replace you in his life, no one could love him and comfort him better than you. Was it jealousy? It definitely was. You couldn't even imagine Ajax doing the same things he did for you to another woman. Those fantasies made you feel angry and reckless. 
You turned your head to him, his lips were dangerously close to yours. You looked at him, waiting for something more – out of sudden the desire to be closer awoke in you. Ajax tarried, taken aback by your sudden move, so you pressed your lips to his gently. He slightly opened his mouth, helding your lower lip between his. You felt Ajax fingers brushing over your jawline, that made you hold your breath. An unusual drawing feeling curled in your lower belly; it made you thirsty for more than a kiss – your nipples hardened, full of lustful sensation. 
“This is wrong…” he whispered, pulling away from you. The two extremes were fighting inside his soul – being on the verge of another Fall, Ajax suddenly remembered that he was a virtuous man once. Even his corroded heart contracted nervously. He desired to have you, but you were his sister.
Perhaps, he just needed a little push into this abyss.
Ajax quickly got on top of you, his trembling hands caught your hips. It was the first time he touched a woman in such a private place, that left him overly excited: the beast he was restraining broke out. His mouth covered yours, he placed heated kisses across your face, got down to your neck, biting soft skin, then traveled lower, until your night dress. Ajax's ardor surprised you, the way he forcefully pushed his tongue inside your mouth and squeezed your breasts with tenacious slender fingers made you squeak. 
Ajax lost his mind: all the moral borders were broken and he was striving to push his erected member into your hot, wet place. Afterall, you were a woman in the first place, so it was nothing wrong in sharing the bed with you and making you bear his children. 
It was hastily and clumsily, as arousal and thrill of being caught took over both of you. Ajax pulled down his pants quickly; you felt the tip of his cock pressing to your entrance. It was more painful than you expected it to be, so you bit on your index finger to ease that stinging feeling.
“Please, relax…” you heard your brother's husky voice. You did as he asked, and Ajax showed more of his member into you. It was hard not to cry, as it felt like you were about to split in half from this burning and stinging ache. Ajax's lips were trembling, as he was close to climax already.
You kept silent when Ajax started bucking his hips into yours. The process wasn't pleasurable at all and left you praying for it to end soon. Ajax, unlike you, couldn't keep his voice inside his throat, and moaned quietly: your quivering wet walls wrapped him around, sucking his cock deeper inside your womanhood. He had never felt more pleasure in his life. It didn't take long for Ajax to cum, staining your walls with his seed.
The following fuss went in a shy and wordless atmosphere. You left to clean yourself up, and Ajax stayed in the room to fix the bed. Intimacy proved to Ajax that you loved him the way he loved you – and your relationship should result in a marriage. He was ready to marry you right now, but it was impossible to his own regret. Demons suggested Ajax take you to another village and introduce you as an orphan to a priest, so the marriage would be possible. His mood lightened – it was the first time those devils recommended something good to him. 
You came back and curled on the bed, as your lower tummy still disturbed you. Ajax hugged you and fell asleep right at the moment, soothed by your warmth. Your brain was restless. For demons it was a triumph, you thought. Despite the fact that this night was calm, you still felt their presence. They were a part of your normality, so you tried to think positively of them. It was very convenient to have servants like them, probably: all the dirty and impossible work was on their shoulders and they couldn't say no. 
You snapped out of your cogitation. You got an awareness that it wasn't your thoughts. They belonged to your head, but were planted in here artificially. You knew yourself well enough (at least you thought you were) and it wasn't in your character to have such destructive ideas. You didn't want to end up like Ajax – losing yourself over uncontrollable animal impulses that were implied to him by demons. They were trying to take control over you, you were sure, and Archons did nothing to protect you, which led you to a painful question – was there any point in praying to someone, who didn't respond to you? Slowly you started to understand your grandmother, and it sent shivers down your spine. 
To calm down you got out of bed and came to the window. Looking out, you saw the Moon. It was unusually bright today, you could see its surface in detail out of your window. It was exciting, for a moment you forgot how to breathe, beholding celestial beauty. Was it possible to reach it? You never heard of experiments of entering outer space, but you were sure it was possible. Why didn't Archons try it? Or, maybe, there were experiments, but in your obscure village no one heard of it. You sighed heavily. You were jealous of Capital citizens, they had everything on their plate by birthright. Ajax promised you that he would find a school for you in the Capital, but you were sure it wouldn't happen. He would be a regular soldier, no one would even think about doing him favors at the beginning of his career. If only you had access to actual knowledge and science… you brushed it away. You had enough disappointments in your life and didn't want to focus on sadness before going to bed.
Unexpectedly, out of nowhere, you saw a green lightning in front of you. It disappeared before you could react, and something fell on the floor, making a sound of fallen glass. You picked up what turned out to be a trinket, something similar to a pendant by its shape and design, but it lacked a chain. 
Shadows in the room started shifting chaotically. 
“What happened?!” Ajax jumped on the bed, aware of a strange sound. He quickly made it to the window and looked out, then he rushed about the room. “I heard something.” Ajax was turning his head, his eyes peering into the darkness. 
“I don't know…” You came to him and showed the find. “It appeared here.”
“A Vision!” Ajax exclaimed and covered your hand with the trinket. “You should hide it, okay? Don't let someone see it.”
“Why? Is it bad?” You got scared and wanted to throw it away, thinking of it as some kind of cursed treasure.
“No. I don't know what you wished for, but Celestia found your desire worthy of attention and granted you Vision. It allows you to manipulate a certain element of nature,” Ajax took his hand off and looked at it. “Dendro, in your case. I have one too. Mine is Hydro.”
“Why didn't you tell me?” You spoke with an offended tone. You thought Ajax would share such a great thing with you, but he chose to conceal it.
“I was told not to. I'm sorry, dove.” He got a guilty face and scratched his head. “But it means we became even closer! You and I both have extraordinary powers. I'll teach you how to use them.”
“I thought we were close enough already. Thanks, I guess.” You looked at the Vision again and decided to hide it in the same spot with the diary. 
You had no idea on how to use it and why you needed it, but at the same time it gave you a hope – if Celestia counted you as worthy, then your future was determined to be interesting and wasn't bonded with this gloomy village.
One day was left until the set date. You thought parents would prepare some kind of celebration or a farewell dinner, but nothing was done. Everyone took it as a natural part of his life, as if nothing had to happen. You were puzzled, until you realized: for them Ajax's enlistment in the Fatui was a shame. Instead of saying proper goodbye to Ajax and spending time with him, father brought his friend, Pavel Korneevich, into the house and introduced him as your groom to everyone.
You could swear: you physically sensed the immediate tension and confusion coming from Ajax. Your opinion wasn't welcomed, so you stayed silent, afraid to stand up for yourself. You weren't just shocked – you were scared to death. All your dreams for a happier life were about to be broken with a marriage.
It was scandalous: Pavel Korneevich was old enough to be your father. You were indecently younger, yet it didn't stop father from bringing this man into his own house. With this gesture he showed how little respect for you he had had, and the scanty amount of good things he had ever done to you was immediately forgotten by you. That grain of love you had for him was destroyed and turned into pure hatred. But Pavel Korneevich… How could he even think about marrying you? He was out of his mind, if he thought of you as a suitable wife for himself. 
“Is this some kind of a cruel joke?” Ajax's aura gave you shivers. His tone was serious, yet soft and sickly sweet, while his slightly narrowed eyes were fixed on the guest and father. “Don't you dare to put a ring on her while I'm out. I want to see my dear sister walking down the aisle with my own eyes.”
Ajax's words didn't make sense and you hoped that he said it only to win time. Ajax stood behind your back and put his heavy hand on your shoulder, that almost broke at the weight and a tight squeeze that he gave you. You portrayed a labored, trembling smile.
“Of course,” Pavel Korneevich nodded. “We need no rush in such things.”
“Sure,” Father grunted, munching on his wrinkled dry lips. “You are free to go. We have business to discuss.” Then he looked at you and, without calling your name, addressed you. “Pasha will talk to you later.”
On numb legs you made it to your room, Ajax following you like a shadow. As soon as you entered the private area, you cried out and fell on your knees, helpless and miserable. All he could do was hold you in his arms and remain silent. 
A familiar shadow appeared in front of Ajax, waiting for instructions. Ugly, ridiculously slim and tall, the demon in the shape of a man with a pig's nose was looking right into Ajax's soul. A second shadow, small and stout, showed up right near the first one: the same pig nose, but also small sly eyes. It was too late to pray, so Ajax made an order – to ruin the wedding and kill Pavel Korneevich, but his death should seem natural. By sinister smiles that bloomed on twisted faces and revealed sharp, abnormal teeth, Ajax figured out that the order was taken. They disappeared to prepare their nasty trap.
“Worry not, dove,” Ajax nuzzled his nose into the crook of your neck. “I'll take care of it. Your brother will never leave you. I'll always be here to help you.”
On the contrary, Ajax's words made you feel even worse than you did before: dragged away from his home, he would think about you without the opportunity to communicate with you properly. You wanted to disappear, to dissolve, to stop existing in a physical way only to escape from this agony. If not Pavel Korneevich, then somebody else would be chosen as your groom. Parents wouldn't miss an opportunity to get rid of you. What could you do? 
“Take me with you!” You clutched at the collar of his shirt, your gaze crazy behind the clumped lashes and redness of the eyes. “Take me with you, or I will run away!”
Ajax hardly endured your emotional breakdown. Your broken voice and hysterical ideas were impossible to listen to; at this point he wished for the night to come sooner and take him from this cursed house – he didn't tell you that Fatui would take him in the night to avoid unwanted attention. Ajax stayed until you cried yourself to sleep. The last day with you was meant to be tragic, for his own regret. When the clock struck midnight, Fatui appeared in the yard, waiting for him. Mother gave Ajax a heartless kiss at his cheek, and father remained uninvolved. Ajax left without looking back not to torture his soul. For the first time of his life he found calmness. 
The gate grated, soldiers in heavy boots left, leaving deep footprints on the snow; a small lamp went out inside the house. The moon was unusually bright, its agily light oozed into the house through every crack. Your room was filled with moonlight, making it as bright as day. In your dreamless sleep you heard someone calling your name, and your body, hit by impulses, stood up on its own, pursuing the voice; step by step you made it to the front door.
The door opened on itself and closed, when you walked out. Your bare feet touched the snow; it melted from your heat. A bigger celestial body closed the Moon, causing the eclipse and hiding all the blissful light that Illuminated you. You felt like falling: the horrifying hungry maw of abyss opened under your feet, swallowing you into the darkness and covering your body with snow. You opened your eyes and saw nothing. You landed on the stone floor, all your body responded with pain. 
It was a big room with just one chair and a burning fireplace. Cold walls of unknown color were hidden in the dark, as well as other spaces of the room. You heard steps and a woman appeared in front of you. She had long white hair and manic crimson eyes. Her expressionless face scared you.
“This must be a joke.” She smiled to herself. “How could a worm like you deserve the Forgotten God's blessing? This is ridiculous.” She turned back on her heels. The cape on her bony shoulders followed her moves, and you noticed dozens of death masks that froze in scream on the hemline. 
“Where am I?!” Your voice broke on scream. It couldn't be that the nightmare from your grandmother's shack found you in Morepesok.
The woman sighed irritably. “He had one job – yet he failed. You are in the Abyss. The power you stole from your brother brought you there.”
“I want to go back.” You stated. Unusual hardness in your voice made the woman laugh. “This ain't funny! I'm tired of these devilish tricks I'm being involved in! I swear this time I'll fight you instead of running away!”
“Then fight.”
At an impossible speed she made an attack that struck you into your shoulder and made you fly to the nearest wall. You couldn't breath at the pain you felt – it seemed like your clavicle, scapula and ribs were crumbled into tiniest pieces. You were opening and closing your mouth with no sound, just like a fish that was taken out of water and left to die on the surface. It was a pure shock that paralyzed you and concentrated your brain on the inhuman pain. 
The woman sat in the chair and looked at the fireplace, as she immediately lost her interest in you. You didn't know how much time had passed since you were left to suffer, but it felt like decades to you before you were able to stand up. 
“You possess great power, yet I bet you know nothing about it. That's why you should think before stealing.” She spoke, watching the fire. “I heard a prophecy about brother and sister, who would free us from the shadows we were trapped in and restore the ancient order. It doesn't matter anymore – deep inside I stayed skeptical, and it proved that all prophecies are lies. Look at your right hand.”
You did as she said and staggered. One of your wrists was abnormal: your fingers, palm and veins got black, traces of the same color ascended until your elbow. 
“I'll teach you the concept of ritual – that's the starting point of your journey. Then, you will be on your own.” She let out a short chuckle, full of sadistic anticipation.
84 notes · View notes
transmutationisms · 1 year
Note
wanted to ask what your thoughts are about the show’s subtextual implications of csa? its never mentioned really but it kind of just hangs in the air with the other abuse and the cultural of sexual violence and abuse of everyone and everything else. i personally don’t believe logan even abused any of them that way, but obviously with people like mo and that whole group of men at the funeral, it was still something the kid’s grew up around and were vulnerable to, and i think because of that logan Did perpetuate csa against them, in a way. like even if He never touched them, by putting them in such close proximity to predators and he himself being complicit in a culture of sexual violence both in his personal life and his company, he still betrayed their trust that he would protect them from that.
but idk, do you think there’s a possibility any of them were actually victims of an assault or harassment?
this is kind of a huge topic, but: i think what the show is getting at wrt sexual violence and childhood trauma is the idea that growing up in a context that enables and even encourages rape is itself sexually traumatic, and that type of immersion in systemic violence has a profound impact on the psyche with or without specific or discrete instances of direct interpersonal violence. which is to say, yes, i agree that there is a very real way in which all of logan's children have experienced sexual violence simply by virtue of being part of his company and his family (part of the capitalist structure).
i do agree that the presence of the 'wolf pack' is significant (the kids weren't allowed to get in the pool around them, etc), but even beyond that, i think the show is suggesting that it would be impossible to grow up in an environment where 1) sex is equivalent to violence, and 2) business is expressed through this language, and 3) familial love is secondary to the business concerns and so also expressed through this violent language—and not be traumatised by that. capitalism is itself already traumatic, homophobia and transmisogyny / transphobia are traumatic, and logan's rigid hierarchical ideas of masculinity and strength are elevated expressions of these systems.
anybody in waystar's orbit will have a relationship to sexual violence and trauma—and a child, who lacks legal personhood and bodily autonomy, is quite clearly going to experience this entire upbringing as violent and traumatic. like, even if logan's childrearing was 'successful' on his terms, ie produced an heir capable of the kind of emotional repression and capacity to inflict violence that logan valorises, that would still itself be a traumatic outcome for that person. the ideology governing waystar is alienating and intrinsically violent. how could you grow up in a world where the powerless are denied personhood and subject to rape and murder and not have that shape how you—again, a child denied autonomy and power—relate to your body, your sexuality, and your concept of self?
so, as to whether the kids did experience specific and direct events of child sexual assault, rape, etc—i honestly just find this line of questioning uninteresting because it's speculation. i've already said i don't find the 'explicit' csa reading necessary in understanding roman's character, and that the incestuous sub/text with him is there on purpose not to indicate that the roys are uniquely incestuous but to suggest that capitalist family structures inherently create this type of desire and propensity for abuse. i would extend basically analogous arguments to the other roy kids, and indeed, to any character on the show. all of the roy kids are sexually traumatised and this is explicitly because they grew up in a company (which is to say also a family and an economic system) that is violent, specifically sexually and specifically to those designated weaker and lesser-than.
419 notes · View notes
Text
Y'all might not like this take, but I feel like some mothers have genuine borderline incestuous feelings towards their sons. Not even in a sexual abuse type of way, but after seeing that tik tok of the mother who was recording her son eating his food and that one article written by a mother who was having a crisis over her son "replacing" her with his gf, I feel like the obsession that mother's have with their sons stems from the fact that so many men are complete trash. Women's fantasies of finding a good man are tarnished by real life, so when they're faced with a child who will eventually be a man what do they do? They raise their sons with the expectation that they'll be a good husband/boyfriend. But the mother is the one deciding what a good husband/boyfriend even means. She's basing it off of what she looks for in a man, so she literally raises her son in the image of a man that she would be thrilled to date. That's why you have so many women absolutely creepily obsessed with their son because to them their son is their perfect man. I also imagine that's why mothers have a hard time accepting that their sons are awful people because "if the man I literally created and filled up with my ideals is still a piece of shit then men really are hopeless" is a devastating thought to bear.
1K notes · View notes
olderthannetfic · 4 months
Note
I really wish people would stop bringing up potential birth defects or genetic disorders as a reason that engaging in incest is morally wrong. It often winds up verging incredibly and uncomfortably close to eugenics rhetoric, for one thing--and for another, the actual risks are MUCH less than people tend to assume, even in close-blood incestuous pairings, unless there have been multiple consecutive generations of intermarrying. But the idea that 'birth defects' or 'genetic disorders' is a reason for a relationship to be immoral to engage in is basically tantamount to saying that disabled people whose disabilities are due to genetics shouldn't have children, and that doing so (or even just engaging in consensual sexual relationships) is immoral, because there's a risk of them passing on those traits.
Not to mention that there are other risk factors (a person over the age of 35 getting pregnant dramatically increases the chances of their child being born with Down's Syndrom, for example), and yet we don't say that it's morally wrong for someone to keep a pregnancy if they are old enough that it's considered At Risk.
It just genuinely does not matter if someone's offspring may be at risk for certain illnesses/disabilities/whatever. That's entirely up to the parents to worry about. The ONLY moral issue with incest is when it involves abuse, which is WHY cousin incest is such a nonissue, barring other circumstances. The absence of abuse means that incest is only 'icky' to some people, not inherently morally wrong.
--
Since I'm old as fuck, I had to do IVF, and hot damn were those eggs bad. A pile of money for genetic testing can solve plenty of that though.
I think people don't realize just how gross they're being because they don't think of historical population bottlenecks and the kinds of genocide and massive oppression that cause them. Not only is it obnoxious to reduce relationships to baby making, but calling people genetically unfit because of inbreeding is not something that hits groups equally or neutrally. There are people with zero recent cousin marriages or whatever in the family who are nonetheless at extreme danger for passing along deadly genetic illnesses that kill in childhood because of historical forces on their ethnic group. We don't get a choice about what's hiding in our DNA, good or bad.
People with their panties in a bunch over genetic illnesses should advocate for more access to genetic testing, which can be financially out of reach for many, and spend a lot less time worrying what kind of sex others are having.
108 notes · View notes
Text
pt. 2 to answer @altofmoth 's question (click here to see pt. 1!)
5. mind control
Tumblr media Tumblr media
mind control is a classic villain's move but when that villain is supposed to be sympathetic and who later gets into a relationship with the same person they tried to control... yikes.
catra is visibly happy about adora going through excruciating pain because of the virus, she shows no concern or remorse over hurting her former best friend/love interest this way. and she is completely willing to take away adora's freewill if it means defeating the rebellion.
6. attempted murder
Tumblr media Tumblr media
yeah, i don't think i have to explain this. again, notice that adora has attempted to murder catra very few times. adora's main objective was just to defeat catra (or get her to join the rebellion) while catra's objective was to always hurt adora in any way possible.
7. catra brags about adora being easy to manipulate
Tumblr media
these are just three instances but it's not very romantic to talk about how easily you can manipulate your s/o and take advantage of their weaknesses.
8. weird incestuous undertones
Tumblr media Tumblr media
adora and catra were both raised by shadow weaver and has an obvious scapegoat - golden child dynamic. catra especially seeks out shadow weaver's love and validation, and she's jealous of adora because shadow weaver favours adora more.
this is a very common trope between fictional siblings like zuko and azula, cassandra and rapunzel, soren and claudia, etc. and of course, it's a very common dynamic between siblings in real life too, when they are raised by an abusive parent. all of this makes the idea of a romantic relationship between catra and adora pretty icky.
9. catra's redemption or lack thereof doesn't help with this whole situation
catra's redemption is all lipservice. she does actually change at all. let's see,
Tumblr media
she still holds adora responsible for things that she didn't do, and acts like adora is a hindrance.
Tumblr media
she still uses physical violence on adora for absolutely no reason.
Tumblr media
she abandons adora when she's about to die because adora doesn't return catra's romantic feelings (and she later blames adora for always leaving people behind).
not to mention, catra's confession is so guilt trippy. the fact that she apparently loved adora all this time, when she was abusing, manipulating, gaslighting, trying to control and trying to kill adora, is the biggest red flag.
it's not like catra only started liking adora in s5. this confession reframes their entire relationship and implies that catra tortured adora physically and emotionally because she was in love with her. and again, the whole “just this once, stay” implies that catra still thinks that adora abandoned her, after everything that happened.
so yeah, i hope this answers your question!
70 notes · View notes
licncourt · 2 years
Note
Is there a specific way to read the vampire chronicles or some books you should skip (I’ve just heard that some aren’t that good but like I’m up for anything)? And what books are focused on Louis and Lestat?
Okay I hope you weren't looking for a short answer to this because there isn't one 😭 Rather than just give my uncontextualized opinion, I'm going to try to explain what makes some (most) of VC so unbelievably terrible in so many people's eyes. There are going to be spoilers for pretty much all the books, but most of it is either incredibly stupid or information that you might want relating to content warnings. I'll list what applies to each book as I go.
I'm assuming you're here from my VC primer post, but if not, I'll link it right here! It gives a bit more detail on my short answer to your main question which is: if you value your sanity, only read the first three. Also a note to read the post I linked at the bottom of it about Anne Rice for context. It will help with understanding the tone this post takes re: the author.
To quickly answer your second question, I am sad to report that Interview with the Vampire is the only book focused on Loustat because after that Anne Rice decided that she hated Louis. Their relationship is on and off in the (very, VERY distant) background until they finally get together permanently towards the end of the series, but it's never the focal point again. She just kept us all on the hook by having one absolutely brain chemistry altering ship moment in a majority of the books (my compilation of those moments here).
Okay, on to specifics:
Interview with the Vampire: a literary classic with incredible character building. I'm assuming we can all agree that IWTV is fantastic and anyone who is reading this because of the show is probably already sold on it. If that's where you're coming from, you might be a bit disappointed by how unsympathetic Lestat can be, but that'll be remedied(ish) later. Lestat is the main character in the series going forward. Enjoy this Louis content because this is pretty much the end of it.
CW: keep in mind that the beginning of the book takes place on a plantation with all that entails; there are some occasional pedophilic and incestuous undertones, but nothing out of place with Gothic horror (it gets so much worse); domestic violence
The Vampire Lestat: this is widely considered to be excellent popular fiction rather than something as elevated as IWTV, but it's a 5-star read according to most fans. Lestat is such a vibrant, exciting character and so much more than the charismatic villain he was in IWTV (the AMC show incorporates a lot of his characterization from this book, as IWTV was originally a stand-alone novel without any real idea of what Lestat would become).
Aside from a (delightful) cameo at the end of the book, Louis is now in Anne Rice Jail and will not be allowed to do anything for the next nine books except be tortured once like a bug for no reason.
CW: a non-consensual turning that is directly analogous to sexual assault; descriptions of child abuse; Lestat, unfortunately, tongue kisses his mom
Queen of the Damned: this is the last book that most fans like. I personally consider it a step down from the first two, but I strongly prefer intimate, character driven stories and QotD is very plotty. It's a fun book, but some cracks start to show in AR's writing that will become a big problem later. Still, it's enjoyable and the ending is very satisfying for the story arc and for the characters. It also contains a fan favorite chapter that follows Daniel, the interviewer, and his insane romance with the vampire Armand.
If you want to be a happy person, turn back now.
CW: non-con blood drinking/vampiric SA; casual racism and pro-imperialism
***CATEGORY 5 EVENT: ANNE RICE FIRES HER EDITOR PERMANENTLY***
The Tale of the Body Thief: this is considered by most fans (obligatory not ALL) to be the worst book in the series simply for how the subject matter is handled. This is the beginning of AR transforming Lestat into something very existentially disturbing without even meaning to. The sympathetic, charming, evil-but-not-really theater kid Lestat is gone without a trace in a way that could be a very insightful look at the aftermath of trauma but is instead deeply insensitive and really upsetting.
Lestat from here on out becomes a hypermasculine caricature that can do no wrong according to the narrative and this has some pretty awful results. There are a few funny moments (like Lestat describing the sensation of peeing for two full pages) and a very cute arc where he adopts a dog, but he also commits two explicit rapes and emotionally abuses/threatens Louis on several occasions with the authorial justification that "men can't help themselves", abuse victims have it coming for setting boundaries, and people who have suffered abuse become abusers. This will be a recurring theme going forward.
Not related to Lestat, but also an Indian man is killed and has his body stolen and inhabited by a white British man in what would be a great metaphor for colonialism if the author thought that was a bad thing.
I am on the last chapter of a 140,000 word fic that I wrote just because I hate TotBT so much and wanted to create a world where it doesn't have to exist. It's one of the most popular VC fics on ao3, and that's not a testament to my writing ability, but rather to how much people hate this book.
CW: graphic SA; domestic violence; insensitivity to the point of racism; the author thinking these things are okay
Memnoch the Devil: not much to say about this. It's AR's ripoff of Dante's Inferno. Lestat meets the devil, goes to hell, drinks the blood of Jesus Christ, loses an eye, vacuum sucks period blood out of a woman's uterus and pad, and then falls into a five year semi-coma on a church floor. Somehow it's still boring. Best I can say is that the Lestat characterization is a bit less heinous than it is in the previous book.
CW: not much here unless you have an issue with period blood guzzling
The Vampire Armand: truly a notorious book in the series, beloved by some, hated by many. There's some good backstory for the character Armand (he first appears in IWTV, likely in season two of the show) and some fun historical fiction, however. Armand begins his story as a twelve year old human child who is rescued from sex slavery by an ancient vampire, Marius (he was namedropped in AMC ep 2).
Over the course of the book, he's physically, mentally, sexually abused by Marius, his teacher and father figure who is, like David, presented as a wise and moral authorit figure. In addition, Armand carries on a sexual relationship with an adult man as a minor. The sex is graphic (it's erotica) and it's really the peak of the pedophilia in VC. Keep in mind that this is coming from an author who publicly defended a child predator and thought that 14 year old kids could consent and should be allowed to have sex with adults.
Of all the later books, this one is the most widely enjoyed because Marius/Armand is a fairly popular ship.
CW: CSA/grooming; statutory rape; explicit adult/minor content; child abuse; cult abuse
Merrick: evil, evil book. AR's giant fuck you to Louis and anyone who likes his character. Lestat is in his devil coma for most of this book, so it's narrated by his newest fledgling and rape victim, David (who I and most others despise. This is the white guy who has an Indian body now). By this point, AR had openly admitted that she didn't like Louis, and she kind of spends this book tormenting and mocking him for no reason.
The titular Merrick (a mixed-race witch drowned in awful racial connotations) mind controls Louis with magic, then forces him to turn her (again, AR has confirmed that this is vampire rape) and be in a relationship. After this, she conjures a "ghost" that may or may not be Louis and Lestat’s dead daughter who tells Louis she always hated him and blamed him for her death. Completely overcome by grief, without Lestat (coma), and having been raped, Louis attempts suicide.
This event and all his mental health issues up to this point are framed by David as being stupid and weak, the sign of a lesser person who should just go and die because they deserve it. It is worth mentioning yet again that David is framed as being in the right and AR had expressed these opinions herself in the past (ie that mental illness is just weakness and you should be able to get over it).
Another fun thing is that Merrick was groomed by David as a child and he spends most of the book wanting her back and also admitting to other acts of pedophilia. So that's fun and great for a character who's supposed to be a voice of reason and moral center.
0/10, despise this book.
CW: sexual assault; grooming; attempted suicide
Blood & Gold: this is Marius' backstory. It is a completely pointless book because we've already heard it twice by this point in the series (and if you read the companion book Pandora, you'll hear it again). The whole thing reads like a Wikipedia page about ancient Rome. Read it if you want I guess.
CW: Marius
Blackwood Farm: this book had...potential? None of that was ever achieved, but I'll at least say that the concept could be worse. Lestat acquires his FIFTH brunette sadboi love interest of the series in this book, so that's kind of funny. Overall though, any positive qualities are overshadowed by weird prose, a really transphobic caricature, and the fact that the main character has shower sex with the ghost of his dead twin brother
CW: transphobia; sibling incest
Blood Canticle: Miss Rice decided to. Get creative with this book. It is a fandom joke. It is the worst prose in existence. It is a literary manic episode. It is truly indescribable. I'm just going to leave this excerpt from ch 1 here and let you imagine an entire book of this
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Yes, chapter one is Anne Rice using Lestat as a proxy to berate her readers for not liking Memnoch the Devil. It's also important to me that you know Lestat calls himself "omnisensual" in this book, tries to become a saint, and tells a woman to put some clothes on because men can't control themselves. The word "chuckle" is also written out in the prose in italics like this is ff.net in 2010. The best thing that came of this book is the famous AR Amazon reviews rant (now a beloved VC fandom copypasta). Please read it. It's transcendent.
CW: psychologically devastating prose
Prince Lestat: this is AR's comeback book, published 12 years after Blood Canticle. It's an improvement, but it's still terrible and very, VERY dumb. Lestat has completed his transformation into a macho man male power fantasy for AR and we end with the establishment of a vampire monarchy with Lestat in charge because he slurped and then puked up the brains of the vampire who had the Special Vampire Essence.
Mostly this was an excuse for AR to kill off a bunch of her weird NPCs that she didn't know what to do with. The good news is we get a very cute, official Loustat love confession and for the first time since the first book in the entire series, we get a chapter that's Louis' POV!! It's like 7 pages long but it's the best we're ever going to get.
Other fun thing that happens: Lestat is hooked up to a hormone IV that allows him to fuck (book vampires can't) and the resident scientist vampire steals his cum and creates a petri dish clone of Lestat that is raised in secret for 18 years before being given to Lestat as his son. No, I'm not joking.
CW: uh, brain eating? Insanely unethical human experimentation?
Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis: batshit crazy book. Truly bonkers. There are aliens, Atlantis is real, Lestat has a sentient brain parasite that controls all vampires and talks to him in his mind like the PS5, vampire brain surgery occurs, a choir of child vampires is there, an alien named Derek breastfeeds a disembodied hand until it grows into his clone named Derek Two, and so much more.
The one positive is that after decades of harassment, AR finally lets Louis be a main character again. By this point he has been completely stripped of his personality (I call it the Louis Lobotomy) and exists solely as Lestat's sexy lamp, but whatever. He's there and they're cute together. How they managed to become a healthy, functional couple overnight after two hundred years of drama is never explained.
Lestat makes out with his rapist and talks about how he was asking for it in a particularly nauseating scene, but otherwise it's pretty tame trigger-wise
CW: rape apologia/victim blaming
Blood Communion: we are finally being put out of our misery. The end of the series. This is such a boring book and Lestat’s characterization is completely nonsensical by now. Several main characters are presumed dead for a while and by this point you don't even care. Not even the other characters in the book seem to care. Its only use is to get that sweet sweet Loustat happy ending.
CW: temporary character death
-
Alright, that was a lot of shit-talking a book series I literally run a fandom blog and write hundreds of thousands of words of fic for, but the truth is, fans are here for the characters as they were originally created. The first three books are wonderful, the first two completely masterful and case studies in how character building should be done. There's a reason they've been read and analyzed and fawned over for forty years. What happened to the series is heartbreaking, but it doesn't negate the impact of how it started.
AR may have started spelling her own characters' names wrong and writing a baffling combination of disgusting hot takes and total absurdity, but she created something special in the beginning and I'll always love it and be grateful for what it once was.
I hope that was helpful!
1K notes · View notes