Why we don’t like it when children hit us back
To all the children who have ever been told to “respect” someone that hated them.
March 21, 2023
Even those of us that are disturbed by the thought of how widespread corporal punishment still is in all ranks of society are uncomfortable at the idea of a child defending themself using violence against their oppressors and abusers. A child who hits back proves that the adults “were right all along,” that their violence was justified. Even as they would cheer an adult victim for defending themself fiercely.
Even those “child rights advocates” imagine the right child victim as one who takes it without ever stopping to love “its” owners. Tear-stained and afraid, the child is too innocent to be hit in a guilt-free manner. No one likes to imagine the Brat as Victim—the child who does, according to adultist logic, deserve being hit, because they follow their desires, because they walk the world with their head high, because they talk back, because they are loud, because they are unapologetically here, and resistant to being cast in the role of guest of a world that is just not made for them.
If we are against corporal punishment, the brat is our gotcha, the proof that it is actually not that much of an injustice. The brat unsettles us, so much that the “bad seed” is a stock character in horror, a genre that is much permeated by the adult gaze (defined as “the way children are viewed, represented and portrayed by adults; and finally society’s conception of children and the way this is perpetuated within institutions, and inherent in all interactions with children”), where the adult fear for the subversion of the structures that keep children under control is very much represented.
It might be very well true that the Brat has something unnatural and sinister about them in this world, as they are at constant war with everything that has ever been created, since everything that has been created has been built with the purpose of subjugating them. This is why it feels unnatural to watch a child hitting back instead of cowering. We feel like it’s not right. We feel like history is staring back at us, and all the horror we felt at any rebel and wayward child who has ever lived, we are feeling right now for that reject of the construct of “childhood innocence.” The child who hits back is at such clash with our construction of childhood because we defined violence in all of its forms as the province of the adult, especially the adult in authority.
The adult has an explicit sanction by the state to do violence to the child, while the child has both a social and legal prohibition to even think of defending themself with their fists. Legislation such as “parent-child tort immunity” makes this clear. The adult’s designed place is as the one who hits, and has a right and even an encouragement to do so, the one who acts, as the person. The child’s designed place is as the one who gets hit, and has an obligation to accept that, as the one who suffers acts, as the object. When a child forcibly breaks out of their place, they are reversing the supposed “natural order” in a radical way.
This is why, for the youth liberationist, there should be nothing more beautiful to witness that the child who snaps. We have an unique horror for parricide, and a terrible indifference at the 450 children murdered every year by their parents in just the USA, without even mentioning all the indirect suicides caused by parental abuse. As a Psychology Today article about so-called “parricide” puts it:
Unlike adults who kill their parents, teenagers become parricide offenders when conditions in the home are intolerable but their alternatives are limited. Unlike adults, kids cannot simply leave. The law has made it a crime for young people to run away. Juveniles who commit parricide usually do consider running away, but many do not know any place where they can seek refuge. Those who do run are generally picked up and returned home, or go back on their own: Surviving on the streets is hardly a realistic alternative for youths with meager financial resources, limited education, and few skills.
By far, the severely abused child is the most frequently encountered type of offender. According to Paul Mones, a Los Angeles attorney who specializes in defending adolescent parricide offenders, more than 90 percent have been abused by their parents. In-depth portraits of such youths have frequently shown that they killed because they could no longer tolerate conditions at home. These children were psychologically abused by one or both parents and often suffered physical, sexual, and verbal abuse as well—and witnessed it given to others in the household. They did not typically have histories of severe mental illness or of serious and extensive delinquent behavior. They were not criminally sophisticated. For them, the killings represented an act of desperation—the only way out of a family situation they could no longer endure.
- Heide, Why Kids Kill Parents, 1992.
Despite these being the most frequent conditions of “parricide,” it still brings unique disgust to think about it for most people. The sympathy extended to murdering parents is never extended even to the most desperate child, who chose to kill to not be killed. They chose to stop enduring silently, and that was their greatest crime; that is the crime of the child who hits back. Hell, children aren’t even supposed to talk back. They are not supposed to be anything but grateful for the miserable pieces of space that adults carve out in a world hostile to children for them to live following adult rules. It isn’t rare for children to notice the adult monopoly on violence and force when they interact with figures like teachers, and the way they use words like “respect.” In fact, this social dynamic has been noticed quite often:
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
(https://soycrates.tumblr.com/post/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean)
But it has received almost no condemnation in the public eye. No voices have raised to contrast the adult monopoly on violence towards child bodies and child minds. No voices have raised to praise the child who hits back. Because they do deserve praise. Because the child who sets their foot down and says this belongs to me, even when it’s something like their own body that they are claiming, is committing one of the most serious crimes against adult society, who wants them dispossessed.
Sources:
“The Adult Gaze: a tool of control and oppression,”
https://livingwithoutschool.com/2021/07/29/the-adult-gaze-a-tool-of-control-and-oppression
“Filicide,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filicide
2K notes
·
View notes
i think western celebrity worship culture is such a strange prison. Free yourself. You will become an entirely different person if you just let go of these people who will never care about you, about us as a whole. Go for a walk. Read a book. Paint, dance, forget about them. go watch a foreign film. go watch an old film or an indie film from a director you've never heard of. Look at all the different faces. Find peace in the fact that you recognize none of them.
340 notes
·
View notes
Why Are Indigenous Women Disappearing Across Canada?
The formation of 'residential schools' in Canada was and remains a cultural genocide. Canada -a current white settler nation -has a responsibility to take accountability for the continued disproportionate amount of violence that Indigenous women face in this country, as Indigenous women are 4 times more likely, compared to the national average in Canada, to be victims of violence.
Since 1980, thousands of Native women have gone missing and have been murdered, and their cases have been either entirely dismissed or under-investigated. I have spoken about this on my page before, and although this short piece by Vice does not delve into the history of the RCMP -there is rampant anti-Indigenous racism in their ranks.
These issues are ongoing and epidemic, and we must always keep raising awareness about and talking about MMIW. This is only one of many videos on some of these issues, but I wanted to share this today.
254 notes
·
View notes
The Sexualization of Octolings
Hey y’all! My friend Ray suggested this lil thread essay post whatever it’s called, and I figured it would make perfect sense to do. I’ve never really made an in-depth Splatoon post before, but I’m not afraid to try. Today’s topic is.. the sexualization of Octolings.
We all know Octolings. We all think they’re cute and fun and cool, but they’re just so.. you know.. sexy. That’s not a bad thing, but it seems like it’s their whole entire species which is literally sexualized and shown in midriff-baring, skimpy outfits. I mean, come on guys. When Callie, the most wholesome Inkling around, briefly joins the Octo Party, she’s suddenly turned into the hottest dominatrix-looking rigid icon ever (a number of my friends started to crush on her after that).
It’s definitely not just Callie. We all know Marina, guys. I don’t even have to show you images to prove what she looks like, her and her love for crop tops. And Marina, as we all know, is an ex-member of the Octarian army, like all Octolings.. like Agent 8, whose Octo Expansion outfit was on the sexy side with a crop top and high-heeled little booties. And who later in Side Order wears a form-fitting bodysuit that shows off their midriff and causes several Splatoon players to meme the fact that their backside seems to be lookin’ large to death. Why is it that Marina and Eight, who used to be in the army, have sexualized attire even now? And when Callie linked up with them, she too was wearing a shirt that in certain poses accentuates her chest, and pants so loose-fitting you can see her actual underwear.
Have you seen the enemy Octoling’s outfits? Yes, they’ve got on armor, but it’s stylized as crop tops and short shorts. Not to mention that most of the enemy Octolings present as or resemble females, and their armor has the age-old shoddy trope of having extra panels for their breasts. They’ve got little booties too and look more like a dancing glam squad or sexualized warrior cosplay than actual warriors, but this is just a design choice and doesn’t affect the way they fight. A pretty weird design choice for a game like Splatoon if you ask me.
I find this very bizarre and random. Because it seems that the entire Octoling enemy brigade has some level of sexiness to them, especially the females. Every single one. But wait on a second. There’s two Octolings we haven’t covered yet. Shiver, an Octoling, has an outfit no more racier than Frye, her Inkling co-star’s. And Acht’s outfit may have a questionable thigh slit, but that’s nowhere near the typical belly-button-bearing short shorts of the Octarian army. That seems to make my theory seem dumb, huh?
Not in the slightest. See, Acht was never in the Octarian army’s fighting unit with the rest of the girlies (they were in the army and wore the same uniform, but as they were never on the front lines they seemed to be able to wear it differently, tilting it so their midriff wasn’t easily seen and wearing a bracelet instead of those tight gloves). As for Shiver, she was born into a clan of Octolings long separated from the other Octarians. Agent 8 on the other hand was once an Octarian warrior, as was Marina (she was later promoted though, but even so along with other enemy Octoling warriors was there during Octavio’s fight with Agent 3), and Callie was turned into one briefly, or something like one, despite her being an Inkling. It seems all the sexualized Octolings were once on the front lines strutting their stuff while fighting. So why is this?
Well, here’s my theory added onto another random semi-theory that I am here to share with you all. You see, in Japanese, the enemy Octolings, preferably the ones you fight, are called “Octo-Amazons”, and the Amazons are legendary female warriors. So perhaps DJ Octavio knew what he was doing with this, and it’s a sort of empowerment move that perhaps the masculine Octolings work on maintenance jobs or something given we never see them, whereas most feminine Octolings are fighters with their female-ness put on blatant display, waggling their little hips as they jump in to do battle with the Inklings. And this practice is so well-known among Octolings that those formerly in the army still tend to gravitate towards more revealing clothes even when they are free. Just a penny for your thoughts, Splatoon community.
68 notes
·
View notes