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theboombutton · 3 months

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Bad Fictional Data vs Fictional Bad Data

WARNING: This post will include discussion of a name that might be Alice Dyer's deadname. I won't be calling Alice by this name or using it in the context of that name being a pointer to Alice, but I will be using the name, uncensored, when talking about where and why the name appeared in chdb.xls .

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You may know that as part of the ARG, the sleuths on Statement Remains uncovered a document called chdb.xls, allegedly a list that has something to do with The Magnus Institute. There's a list of names, ID numbers, first and last names, dates of birth, and information apparently related to each person's "score" in an assortment of psychological/personality tests. Three of the names in particular have stood out in a lot of analyses: Samama Khalid, Gerard Kaey [sic], and Connor Dyer.

You likely don't know that the commonly linked version of the spreadsheet, ported to Google Docs and linked in the TMAGP ARG Masterdoc, is presented out of order. (I'm guessing they didn't lock down editing until it was already all out of order from various people messing with it - totally understandable, this is not a callout post, thank you for making this easily accessible to people.)

But let me tell you about something I discovered by looking at the spreadsheet in its original order, and the almost certainly incorrect rabbit hole of theorizing it has sent me down.

Bad Fictional Data

Until episode 2 I had the same thought about the Dyer listed in the spreadsheet that I think most people did: that it was Alice's deadname, and that she had therefore been one of the Institute's young subjects. But after Alice had absolutely no reaction when Sam mentioned the Magnus Institute to her in episode 2, I now think this is significantly less likely.

Don't get me wrong: it's still reasonable to think that the Dyer listed in chdb.xls is Alice. Maybe she had some kind of supernatural experience that wiped her memory. (It probably wasn't that Alice was too young to remember, as the Dyer on the spreadsheet is listed as being at Piaget Stage 3, which occurs from 7-11 years old; but it's always possible that the Magnus Institute was using the names of legitimate psychological tests to hide their tracks when recording more esoteric data.) The point is, this isn't hard evidence that Alice has no connection to the Magnus Institute; it just made me go looking for more evidence.

I went back to the spreadsheet to look for more clues about whether or not this was Alice's deadname. What I found instead was some extremely sloppy fake data at the bottom of the spreadsheet.

For context, here are first ten names in the spreadsheet:

Note how each ID begins with the name's first and last initial.

Now check out the last ten names:

Not only do these IDs no longer always match their subjects' names, they occur in order: CD, EF, GH, IJ, KL, MN, OP, QR, ST, UV. The first names of each pair match the first letter of each ID, but many, though not all, of the surnames don't match the second letter.

My first thought was that whoever Rusty Quill had contracted to generate these names had gotten sloppy at the end of the list, created the IDs all at once using this alphabetical pattern, and picked names to fill in that roughly matched the IDs. But hey, we could use this to our advantage! Any name that was filled in as part of a series of IDs with an alphabetical pattern like this could be removed from consideration for red string analysis - we'd know they were meaningless fakes added by a lazy contractor, and not clues or characters that might show up again later.

Scrolling back up the spreadsheet, we can see the person generating the data having more care the earlier we go. We find the beginning of the AA/BC/DE/FG/HI pattern at line 136, but at first, the names mostly conform to the initials they've been given. JK09874 "Josie Jordan" at line 154 is the first break from the "first two letters of the ID are their initials" pattern; and breaks occur more often the further you go down the sheet.

Scrolling up to before line 136 (AA09911 - Aaron Atkinson), while the pattern isn't yet at AB/CD/EF/GH levels of obviousness, the first initials are still in alphabetical order. Zoe Hart follows Yara Logan follows Xavier Freeman follows Wyatt Edwards. The data creator skips a few letters - for example Niamh Fenton is followed by Phoebe Emmett, and S and T are together in the same line in Skye Travers.

We can follow this less-obvious version of the alphabetical pattern up to an abrupt break right at line 118, above which the IDs don't follow an alphabetical pattern at all. (They might follow a different pattern, but it's not one that I've found yet.) So that means we can discount all the names in line 118 and below as purely fake, generated lazily by a contractor, and not worthy of our attention for the purposes of red-stringing. Right?

What the fuck?!

(highlight is my own, it is not present in the original document)

My first thought was that the sloppy data generator had done the funniest thing imaginable, sending everyone on a wild goose chase about Alice's deadname just by having the name "Dyer" on the brain while looking for a surname that started with D. This would be Very Funny. No plot relevance, no implications, just the brain fart that launched a thousand theories.

My second thought was that maybe Connor Dyer was the last legit name on the list, and whoever started filling the rest of the sheet in with alphabetical junk data was inspired by the "CD" initials in the first place - whoever it was went on from there.

These are both valid thoughts! But I prefer my third thought:

What if it's on purpose?

Fictional Bad Data

There is a very obvious break between the set of data that doesn't look obviously* fake, and the set of data that is immediately identifiable as such. If we assume that this was intentional - and I want to reiterate that it all being unintentional is still a very real possibility here - why would someone at Rusty Quill want the data to be structured like this?

If the sharp dividing line between reasonable-seeming data and obviously fake data is intentional on RQ's part, it would suggest that we should take the data above row 118 as in-universe real data, and the data below row 118 as in-universe falsified data. It suggests that someone, either at the Institute or after its demise, was adding nonexistent children to the roster of The Magnus Institute. Why would someone want to do that?

There are all kinds of possible reasons, but here are a few off the top of my and my theorizing buddies' heads:

Financial fraud (institutional edition). If the Magnus Institute received funding on a per-child basis, they'd have an incentive to inflate their numbers.

Financial fraud (researcher edition). One or more people on staff were blowing off their child-analysis sessions and recording fake numbers for fake children. This would be ballsy as hell if they could be fired for it, but it was the Magnus Institute, so there's decent odds they couldn't be.

Scientific fraud (faking conclusions edition). The Magnus Institute in the Protocolverse claimed to be doing research on giftedness in children, which is the kind of thing that you'd normally publish in a scientific journal. It's not unheard-of for dickhead academics to falsify data to generate statistically significant results, since statistically insignificant results aren't going to get you published.

Scientific fraud (obscuring paranormal bullshit edition). If the Magnus Institute was using legitimate psychological test names to record Fear-related test results, it's possible their results showed different patterns from what you would expect from the real tests. They could have added the fake children to balance out the dataset as a whole.

Pseudonyms. The children are all real, the Institute just started using fake names for them for privacy purposes. They couldn't go back and change the names they'd already written properly for some reason. Probably something paranormal.

Those are all pretty interesting possibilities, and if we could narrow them down, it might tell us something about what things were like at the Magnus Institute before it burned down!

And the other big question is: why did RQ make the dividing line between the two sections, the first likely-fake entry, Connor Dyer?

One straightforward reason could be as a troll, a red herring to watch fans get in a lather over. And once the community inevitably noticed all the obviously falsified entries, RQ could eat popcorn and watch us lose our minds over whether or not that's even a real entry! (That sounds really fun, I would absolutely do that.)

But let's dig a little deeper, and look at what Connor Dyer being on the border between the real and fake entries would mean in-universe. Because of its position as the border between real and fake, it would be very easy for that entry to be accidentally included in the wrong group - a real research subject discarded as fake, or perhaps more interestingly, a fake research subject accidentally reclassified as real.

Remember, if a name is fake in the context of the Magnus Institute's research, that doesn't mean that the name itself is made up. If I was trying to think of a name that fit the initials CD, and those were the initials of my next door neighbor's kid, I might just write their name in as a lark. Especially if it was my first time trying to get away with falsifying information: this is a kid that verifiably exists and lives in the area.

My theory, supported primarily by my love for The Implications instead of actual evidence

Twenty years on, after all institutional memory of the fraud was long gone, trans icon Alice Dyer applies to work for the OIAR - an institution that (according to this theory) has an unofficial preference for hiring former Magnus Institute kids.

They are very confused when Alice proceeds to act nothing like a former Magnus Institute kid. It doesn't occur to anyone that her entry might have been falsified. What reason would anyone have to do that?

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* Of course people with a background in data analysis or statistics will see immediately that even above line 118 this is a wild-ass dataset that would raise red flags for falsification, but at least it's not "the alphabet over and over" levels of obvious.

#tmagp theory #alice dyer #tmagp arg #chdb.xls #tmagp speculation #tmagp #the magnus protocol #cw deadnaming

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synoddiane · 2 months

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I just received some fanmail for my newspaper comic from twenty years ago, "Sideways Tetris." Haven't thought about that one for a long time. I'm glad there are still people out there interested in my takes on what Tetris might be like if it was sideways.

#sideways tetris #cw deadnaming

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thylaseraph · 3 months

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JANUARY, 1995

It’s a shooting day and Dean’s ears are ringing with the pop of the .22 that’s growing heavy in his hands. At Bobby’s house he always has to wear earmuffs when he shoots; usually Dean complains because they look stupid, but right now his ears are so frozen he’s wishing he had a pair of his own.

He points the muzzle at the ground and shakes his head out, cupping a stiff hand to his cheek. There’s exactly zero blood flow happening in his face, and the cold makes each shot ring out so loudly he has to try not to flinch. And his socks are wet. Pretty miserable shit.

John’s on his way back from replacing the target, face grim.

“How’d I do?” Dean calls. Too loud, judging from the way his dad scowls.

“You’re blowing through ammo and you only got six on the page.”

Dean slumps. “Crap.”

“Yeah, it is. You need to get your shit together, I can tell your heart isn’t in this. You reload yet?”

Dean sniffles, even though he can’t feel his nose, either. “No.”

“No?”

“No, sir.”

“So get going. Show me you can do better.”

Dean’s fingers feel like ten useless icicles. He slides the chamber open and clink-clink-clinks ten bullets inside, then carefully closes the action. The Beretta is a testy bitch that jams constantly. Dad only trusts it for training and seems likely to chuck it soon.

He barely seems affected by the chill. Mostly he looks bored. “Go on and take a few steps forward. Ladies’ tee until you get ‘em all on the page, and then we’ll think about moving you back again.”

Dean’s skin crawls with embarrassment and he wants to protest—he could do better if it were warmer and if he weren’t so tired already—but obediently he moves closer to the target.

“Alright.”

He raises the gun and clicks the safety off. He’s probably more cautious with it than John cares, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.

The target is a sheet of paper with orange circles pinned to a stump surrounded by casings. He lines the center up in his sight and then aims a little lower to compensate because the Beretta shoots high. God, if Dean could get his hands on that ivory-grip Colt, he’d die happy.

He empties her out, gets about nine bullets on the page. Four of them land tight in the center. The stray shot is only because he overcorrected his aim at first.

He turns back to his dad with a grin on his face, feeling pretty proud. There’s a pleasant buzz of warm feeling in his nose and eartips along with the ringing in his ears as he traipses back to the ammo box. “Not so crappy, huh?”

John shakes his head. “Dunno where you learned to be such a brag.”

“What am I supposed to be, humble? Pass.” He squats by the box, breathing on his numb hands before delicately picking up the bullets. “Hard pass.”

“Being humble is what keeps you alive. Nine out of ten only seems good on a target that doesn’t move. It isn’t your best—or it shouldn’t be.” John’s silence is as unforgiving as his voice. Dean watches his words sink through the winter air like smoke.“We stay here until you can actually hit what you’re aiming at.”

Through no fault of his own, Dean’s mouth is suddenly letting loose the complaint he’s been trying to hold in. “Come on, give me a break, Dad. It’s freezing, and I’m tired, and I’m about to have frostbite on my carpal tunnel. I feel like I can barely pull the damn trigger!”

His father’s boots crush against the frozen ground louder than a gun. He looks up quickly, stomach dropping. Dad and his rifle make a stark silhouette against the cold white sky above.

“You don’t ever speak to me like that again. You sound like your brother, like some insolent child, not a man I’d trust with my weapon. I know I taught you better than this. When lives depend on you, are you still gonna be making excuses? Are you gonna be whining about the weather when it’s your bad aim that gets somebody killed? Is it gonna be the trigger’s fault when you get yourself killed?”

“No, sir,” Dean replies, heart beating in his throat.

“You’re laughing, you’re fucking around, I can see you’re not taking this seriously. You still don’t understand the stakes. Think about Sam—you know whose fault it’ll be if you can’t take care of him or the lives you say you want to protect?”

“My fault, sir. Dad, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry. Don’t be begging for respect when you haven’t earned it. The only reason we’re still out here is you. You being cold and tired right now is on you. This is all in your control. Your life is in your own hands, nobody else’s. Do you understand that?”

His eyes are so heavy.

Dean nods and looks down, unable to speak. He is so stupid.

The dry air is hurting his head; he won’t be surprised if they get back to the cabin and find Sam with a bloody nose. Kid’s got a fragile sinus. The sooner Dean makes this, the sooner they can get back. He loads fast.

“Sam told me that you went hunting,” John says, tone slipping back to conversational.

“Yeah,” Dean says, grateful as he slides the clip home. “Bobby showed us how to do animal calls.”

“Being able to hunt and eat what you’ve killed is important. For when you have to keep yourself fed, but for building character, too. A hunter should be able to hunt.”

“And fish,” Dean adds. “Hey, we should go again soon.”

John nods, the barest hint of warmth. “My point is, everything you need to survive should be in your power. Your gun is your second most important tool after grit. Even when you won’t know if you will survive, you have to know that you can survive.”

Dean nods, and after a few seconds of silence, he supplies, “Bobby makes good venison chili.” He doesn’t mention that Bobby specifically said John was not invited to any of his suppers.

“You get one?” John asks. “A deer?”

Dean stands slowly, thumbing the safety. He doesn’t click it off, yet, and he keeps it pointed at the ground. Like Bobby keeps cussing him out about. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Dean’s mouth is sour, the pit in his stomach is growing again, and somehow he’s sweating. John sounds like he knows the answer why.

Dean clicks the safety off and Dad doesn’t even look twice, just waits. Dean walks back to his spot and gets into position. Behind him, John sighs. He sounds so tired.

“If you can’t even kill a deer, how do you think you’re gonna be able to shoot things that look human?”

Dean aims at the target and tries to breathe. The freeze is in his lungs, now, January’s teeth seizing his insides so every inhale is sharp. The target wavers in his sight as he tries to keep his hands still. It’s just an orange circle. Just a tree stump. Just practice, so he’s fine.

He exhales slowly, finger curling around the trigger. He’s fine and he’s got this.

“I mean, what am I supposed to think, Deanna,” John says lowly, voice pinched with disappointment, “you tell me you want me to treat you like a man, but you can’t even—”

Dean fires, ten rounds in steady, thundering succession until the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound of the chamber clicking empty.

The target is in tatters. He thinks they all landed.

His chest is still tight, and raw, and like maybe something has shaken loose or broken free. With shaking hands, he zips up his jacket, and then he turns and walks to his father’s side.

“It’s Dean,” he says thinly. He clears his throat and adds, “Sir.”

John’s looking at him and Dean can’t make out what’s going on behind his eyes. After a moment he nods, and then jerks his head toward their gear. “Pack up.”

As Dean’s cleaning up—collecting fallen casings and discarded targets, and making sure every gun is unloaded and every safety is on because Sam always pokes around even when they tell him not to—John claps him on the shoulder. His voice is soft again.

“I’m just worried about you, I need you to know that. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and Sammy when I’m not around. This world is mean, and cold, and it’ll tear you apart. I can be hard on you kids…I push you too hard, I know it, and it still won’t be enough to keep you safe. And that kills me.”

John cups the back of his head. Dean meets his eyes and sees a world in there that he can’t begin to fathom. “You did good today, Dean, really good. I don’t want you to think I have any doubts—about how strong you are, and how brave. And I trust I can depend on you, son.”

Somewhere inside Dean, a knot loosens, like he’s finally been allowed to breathe a little. It’s good.

#repost from my old blog #trans dean winchester #transphobia #misgendering #deadnaming #parental abuse #verbal abuse #forced masculinzation emotional stunting meow meow meow #bound for the floor by local h released 1996 changing nothing in deans life but becoming a soundtrack #dean: i earned respect! john: if i push him hard enough he will kill so good :3 #ficlet #supernatural #trans dean #cw misgendering #tw misgendering #deadname #tw gun mention #tw gun use #mine

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devilboycomic · 11 months

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Christine

#comics #web comic #art #devilboycomic #digital art #digital illustration #devil boy #devilboy #devilboyflashback #cw abuse #tw transphobia #tw deadnaming #tw religious trauma #im sorry #happy pride 🌈#indie comics #original comic #transmasc #he/him

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beeclops · 3 months

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#CW // deadnaming #disney channel #marvel #moon girl and devil dinosaur #mgadd spoilers #s2e5 #Marvin Ellis #kid kree

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glacierruler · 1 year

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If I Could Just Kiss You

No it is not almost 4 am now where I live shut up /j /s

Ships: Prinxiety and Dukexiety (Roman and Remus both date Virgil and are fine with it)

Want to make it very clear, Virgil thought Remus was a boy until it introduced himself.

Angst/Fluff, mostly fluff though

CWs: transphobia, accidental misgendering, deadnaming, death mentions(no actual death, I swear), self-deprecation, tell me if I missed any!

Words: 5080

Feel free to spam my inbox with questions about this au

Taglist: @uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous @hyperfixated-homo @cutebisexualmess @starlocked01 Please tell me if you'd like to be added/removed!

Virgil didn’t know what to do. Storm didn’t know what to do because storm liked these two boys. And they were siblings. And Virgil knew that they wouldn’t like storm back, because who would? Storm was self-deprecating, small, and honestly not that attractive. At least not in storm’s eyes. Virgil had weird eyes too, and who would want a freak like storm, with storm’s weird mismatched eyes. One of them a deep purple and the other a bright green. Plus storm’s clothing choices were questionable to most. Most of the time storm wore a black with purple patches hoodie, along with an oversized Fall Out Boys T-shirt, with black jeans. The most expensive thing storm wore were storm’s Doc Martins, although storm had some more expensive shoes at home. Shoes were the one thing storm ever splurged on, because Virgil couldn’t design or make shoes. Storm could hand sew some clothing. Specializing in skirts, but storm was getting better at making dresses, shirts, and pants as well. Also storm loved hand sewing, as it was calming and took up time. Storm was also decent at painting abstract art, and somewhat good at drawing humanesque figures on storm’s computer. So maybe Virgil wasn’t actually useless, storm just thought that way because of past incidents, but let’s not wander there yet. As Virgil was circling into storm’s own thoughts of panic, storm saw movement out of the corner of storm’s eye. Virgil freaked out for a moment, before remembering storm was at the local coffee shop, and there was going to be some movement. It did not help storm’s panic, however, when storm saw who walked in. It was the two siblings. And their friends. And oh, Virgil was so screwed if they saw storm. So so very screwed. Mainly because none of them know Virgil’s actual name, just storm’s deadname, because of course storm’s job at the local college wouldn’t let storm change storm’s name! And storm is so used to not being deadnamed or misgendered here. Just wearing different wristbands to denote the gender that storm was for that day, if storm could pinpoint it down. After all being genderfluid wasn’t easy sometimes. Also now, whenever Remy’s shift ended, Virgil would have to be very careful not to mention either crush’s name because they were here. And by the looks of everyone’s bags, they were here for a while. So Virgil hid behind storm’s computer screen, and did storm’s best not to draw attention to stormself. But eventually…

“Hey, bitch! I’m off my shift!” Remy shouted for the whole cafe to hear. A few of the regular customer’s chuckled, but the table that the two siblings and their posse had sat at all looked confused for a second, and Virgil could feel the heat rush to storm’s cheeks. Storm was not ready to come out to any of those five over there yet. Thankfully Remy’s partner, Emile, walked in just at that moment. Virgil looked at their necklace, and it was pink. Meaning they were a girl today, but storm would wait until storm could see their pronoun pins before using she/her for them.

“Love, what did we say about cursing right after you got off shift?”

“Too wait five minutes before doing so… but, like, hon-”

“Nope, you almost got fired last time you called Virgil a bitch right after you got off of your shift, and we can’t afford to live off of one income in this economy.” Emile stated. And now Virgil could die, because both of them were about to sit at storm’s table, after just calling storm by storm’s preferred name. In front of storm’s crushes who did not know storm’s preferred name. Which, to be fair to Remy and Emile, Virgil was out pretty much everywhere except for storm’s job. Which didn’t allow storm to be out and storm thought that was stupid. But storm couldn’t afford to live based on just commissions and sponsorships alone just yet, so they had to deal with it. Either way, Virgil had been kind of hoping to tell the siblings on storm’s own, without being accidentally outed to them. And, oh great, all of them were paying attention to Remy and Emile now. Who had just kissed, and were walking over to Virgil right now. Oh shit oh shit oh shit! What do I do. Virgil’s heart started pounding, and it was getting harder for storm to breathe, and then storm was shocked and sucking in a huge breath of air after storm felt something cold against storm’s skin.

“Hun, you good, you haven’t freaked out like that here for a while.” Remy’s voice was full of concern. And Virgil nearly cried. Storm had had a panic attack in front of storm’s two crushes. In front of people that constantly talked to storm at the college. Storm was so very fucked if they recognized him.

“I’m fine,” Virgil croaked out, well at least storm’s voice wouldn’t be recognizable, “can we talk about it later?”

“Yeah of course, whatever you need.” Emile said, and Virgil could see their pronoun pins now. So she is using she/her today, good to know.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you two about it later,” Virgil whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear storm. Both of storm’s friends nodded, and storm breathed out a sigh of relief. However before storm could go back to drawing, storm heard a gasp from the table that storm’s crushes were sitting at.

“You’re the person who works at the college right? The one who helps with art and english papers!” Excitement seeping out of this individual’s voice. Virgil looked over, and it was Patton. The guy who storm had helped with an english paper and art assignment. Although the english paper was what storm was payed to do. Patton had chestnut brown eyes, with brown hair to match. If Virgil had remembered correctly something Patton had said, he was from Papua New Guinea. So english hadn’t been his first language, as his parents taught him some other language, Virgil couldn’t remember what it was called, but storm thought it was cool that Patton knew another language. Sometimes storm wished that storm had payed more attention in spanish class. Mainly having taken it because storm’s family was from Mexico, and neither Virgil nor storm’s mother had been taught the language. Either way, now everyone at that table was looking over at storm. And now Virgil was officially screwed. What was storm supposed to do, hide under the table and never get up again. Then Patton spoke up again, “Although I thought you went by a different name? Something like-”

“Er, that’s only my name at the college, I don’t use it anywhere else.” Virgil interrupted, not feeling like getting deadnamed today. And now Roman was looking at storm, and Virgil felt like maybe storm should prepare some lines in storm’s head just in case Roman said something. Although he shouldn’t, after all his sibling, who’s older by one year is nonbinary.

“Ah, then what is your name? And pronouns if you don’t mind me asking.” And oh, Roman’s voice was sweet as honey, and Virgil could swim in it all day. Ah, storm could feel storm’s ears starting to heat up.

“Er, the name I like to use is Virgil, and my pronouns change all the time, but storm/storms pronouns always work,” Virgil’s voice was hoarse, and still a bit scratchy from the panic attack that storm had just had. And before storm could say anything else, Remus spoke up.

“Oh you use neos too! That’s so cool, you know meeting another person who uses neopronouns is like meeting a celebrity from that famous horror movie, Monstruo de la Noche.” The way Remus’s voice sounded like an old, scratchy record, but in a good way, just made Virgil want to melt. Although Virgil didn’t really like horror movies in most aspects, storm would love to watch a horror movie with Remus.

“Er yeah, before I forget to ask what are all your names and pronouns?” And oh no, storm’s voice was no longer scratchy, and while storm liked it on some days, other days it felt way to feminine. Virgil sometimes wished storm had a voice modifier on them, but then again storm was working on speaking more masculinely, it was just a lot of practice. Sometimes Virgil got sick of practicing, just wishing storm could flip a switch and storm’s voice would be deep. And honestly-

“Well you already know who I am kiddo, but I’ll introduce myself again in case you forgot, you do help a lot of people throughout the college. I’m Patton, 23 years old, and he/him and they/them pronouns for me!” Virgil was roughly jarred from storm’s thoughts by the loud voice, although it was a welcome distraction from where storm’s mind was taking storm. Then the person who was sitting across from Patton spoke up.

“My name is Logan, and please use he/him pronouns when it comes to addressing me.” Logan seemed analytical and smart, based on his body language and tone of voice. He had slightly tanned skin and was wearing glasses, a suit, and a tie. Virgil could’ve sworn he was the person who tutored students in the math lab, now that storm though of it. Before he could analyze too much, Remus spoke up.

“Well you already know my name, but my pronouns are he/him and it/its.” Remus looked like it was about to jump on the table with how excited he was.

“The name’s Janus,” a silky smooth voice said next, “although I believe you already knew that, my pronouns however have changed since we last talked. I use they/them and fae/faer pronouns now.” And Janus was right, Virgil had known faer name. Storm had known them in elementary school. They had been the best of friends, but after the incident, Virgil and Janus had grown apart. Storm still felt guilty about the scar that encompassed half of Janus’s face. However, before Virgil could say anything, Janus cut in again. “Just so you know, it wasn’t your fault,” and Virgil felt even more guilty now. Why, storm didn’t know, but now everything felt awkward. The tension in the room was really thick, and storm could tell that everyone else at that table was confused as to what was going on.

“Ah, before I forget to introduce myself to a such a lovely person, my name is Roman and my pronouns are he/him.” Roman announced flamboyantly, and oh, was Virgil head over heels for this guy. Maybe a little too much.

“Right, well it was nice meeting you all…” Virgil trailed off, not sure of what to say. Storm was really bad at socializing, having taken forever to warm up to Remy. Although storm was pretty sure it was because of the incident, but again, storm never liked to think about that. Thankfully Remus stepped in.

“Soo, what’s a school tutor doing at this coffee shop? Oooh, is this where you come to complain about the last minute papers all the students submit,” Virgil did not miss the playful look it gave its brother.

“Err, not quite, this is where I go to draw and do my online courses,” Virgil stated, not sure where to go from here. Thankfully someone else did.

“And storm def comes here to vent about what the english class kids do too, don’t you hun?” Remy snickered, nevermind, Virgil was suddenly reminded of why storm hated Remy now.

“Only a little!” Storm defended, which only got Remy and Emile to snicker as well as a few eyebrow raises from the other table. Before the conversation could go any further, Remy introduced themself.

“Sup you five, I’m Remy, and I use they/them pronouns, and this here is my partner-”

“Hi! I’m Emile, my pronouns also change all the time, like Virgil’s, currently I use she/her, but if you’re ever unsure of what to use, they/them is always okay!”

“Ah, if it wouldn’t terribly bother you three-” Roman started, before Remus interrupted, saying,

“We could totally blow your party! And cafe, into smithereens!” And Virgil couldn’t help but snicker at that, before remembering that they brought bags in, and storm caught Roman give a playful glare to his sibling.

“Uh…” Not a good idea, not a good idea, not a good idea, “sure, I don’t have a problem with it, Remy, Emile?”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea!”

“You need more friends anyways hun.”

“Remy! Be nice!”

Virgil heard Janus chuckle a bit, which was either very good or very bad. Storm’s brain started screaming at storm, thinking it was an absolutely horrible idea to do this, so before anyone could get any further with conversation, Virgil went and sabatoged stormself. “But, before you decide to join us, don’t you have schoolwork to do? With your bags and all?”

“Ah, but lovely Virgil, we have been working on schoolwork for the three hours that we’ve been here! It’s only fair that we catch a break to chat with an engaging individual such as yourself!” And Roman flashed storm that smile that storm loved so much, with slightly crooked, very slightly tinted yellow teeth, which meant they were healthy, as they weren’t an obvious yellow, but subtle enough for someone to tell they weren’t pure white, (don’t ask Virgil why storm knew the proper color healthy teeth were supposed to be). Sure, Virgil knew that he probably flashed that smile at everyone he met, but he certainly didn’t call everyone he met lovely, did he? Maybe he did, how was Virgil supposed to know, anyways Roman had a point. Strictly studying is bad for people. And Virgil knew that because storm had burnt stormself out by doing that.

“Ah, alright, just didn’t want get in the way of studying, y’know?” And oh, the way all of them beamed at storm made Virgil want to never leave this moment of feeling wanted.

After about three hours of all of them sitting and talking, the cafe closed, and Virgil got all of their numbers. And maybe, when no one was looking, storm put a red heart by Roman’s number and a green one by Remus’s.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Virgil was back at the college, having just finished working with another student, when Roman, Remus, and their friends walked in. Honestly, she was exhausted, trying her best not to cry everytime one of her coworkers called her by that name.

“Yo, Vee, it’s us from the cafe, remember?” And the way Remus nearly screamed that, honestly made Virgil’s day so much better.

“Yeah, do you need help with something?” Virgil was so professional at storm’s job, she honestly deserved a gold star for not acting like storm was hopelessly in love.

“Actually [Redacted], I’ve got this.” One of Virgil’s coworkers, who had an obvious crush on Roman, said. Virgil could see the way Roman tensed up at her voice.

“Nah, Sally, you’ve got a meeting in fifteen, remember?” Storm was trying not to start a fight, not sure why Roman was so tense around her, but he was, so Virgil was going to do her best to make Roman more comfortable.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could take that appointment-”

“This will be the third time this week, Sally, I’m not doing that. I can do this, plus I believe one of them actually has me scheduled to work with them in the next five minutes.” Which, the last part of that was technically a lie, but Virgil never shared who she was working with with her coworkers. Storm never really liked them anyways. Sally huffed, but ultimately said nothing. As soon as she went back, Virgil led them over to a table that was a little further away from everything else.

“Question, do you want us to call you by the name that Sally used when you’re here, or something else?” Logan asked, which Virgil thought was sweet of him, but what really surprised Virgil was the twins talking over each other.

“Was it okay for me to call you Vee? If it wasn’t-”

“I’ll hit him over the head with my morningstar and bury him and-”

“I’ll let Remus do that to me without fighting back, I hope I didn’t almost out you-” And, oh was it sickeningly sweet how much both of them cared about different things, but Virgil should really cut in before it gets worse.

“Look, it’s fine. I’ve told them my preferred name before, they just don’t really use it. Because it’s not my legal name or whatever.” The way all five of them looked at her, seemingly baffled at what she just said, confused Virgil to no end. “Err, what’s wrong?”

“Why do you work at a job, that consistently deadnames and misgenders you?” Remus asked, concern seeping through its voice.

“Because it pays the bills, and I don’t really have a choice at the moment.” Virgil was a bit unsure as what else to say, she really didn’t have a choice if she wanted to be able to pay for all the necessities. “I am trying to find another job, but right now it’s not plausible,” storm really didn’t know why she felt so defensive.

“Vee,” Roman starts, staring at her softly, “we aren’t judging you, we’re just concerned.” And oh, Virgil hadn’t meant to make eye contact, honestly, it was mostly painful. But if she could stand eye contact, she would look in both the twins emerald green eyes all day and night.

“Ah, sorry-”

“Why are you apologizing? Did my brother said you did anything wrong? No, because you didn’t. He was just clearing up a misunderstanding. But if you want, we can pay you to be our personal tutor’s. How does $20 an hour sound?” And Virgil stilled at that, not sure what to do.

“A-are you sure? That’s a lot of money, especially since tutoring sessions can be long.”

“Look, absolutely no offense to you, but I’d pay you $100 per hour if it meant I never had to deal with Sally again,” Roman said dryly, and oh, was Virgil glad to know that there was no way Roman had even the smallest crush on Sally.

“Okay, um, then yeah, I can tutor you all, do you want to do group or individual sessions?”

“Group for now, and maybe, if any of us have extra money and need help, we can do individual sessions next,” Janus supplied, faer voice sounding uninterested, but Virgil could see the intrigue in their eyes. Virgil nodded, and the next day she sent in storm’s two day notice.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a few months, Virgil was turning 19 soon, and both of his crushes were 20 and 21 respectively. Still, storm’s feelings for them weren’t going away anytime soon. So he had decided, he would tell both the siblings that he liked them within a week.

“Remy, you just don’t understand! They’re so cute and sweet and kind, and honestly I think this is something amazing that’s happening. If I can just get the guts to ask them out. You don’t understand-”

“Right hun, because I don’t understand how simping for someone else feels,” Remy rolled their eyes, sounding slightly annoyed. “Now where’s the part where you tell them?”

And that’s how Virgil started telling a very long story. “Well, I was gonna tell them on Monday, but when I saw them they were kind of flirting with another guy. And I didn’t know if maybe one or both of them were dating that guy. I found out later that day, that they were just being friendly with him because he’s a cool guy, and flirting is just their dynamic. Which y’know kinda makes me feel jealous a little, and maybe hopeless, because I thought that they might be flirting with me because they like me, but it could just be because that’s our dynamic, and do I really need to ruin our dynamic with my stupid feelings.” Virgil breathed in and out heavily after that. Speaking fast, because the siblings could be at the cafe soon, and Virgil honestly couldn’t risk them finding out before storm was ready. “Then on Tuesday, they were busy studying for a few tests for their english class and overall I was really busy with commissions, and I also knew I wasn’t ready to tell them yet. On Wednesday I meant to tell them after tutoring was done, but then everyone was there, and I don’t know if I want everyone to see me embarrass myself trying to make a love confession, and then a thought occurred to me. What if they thought I was just getting closer to them to get with them? I wasn’t doing that, but what if they thought that. Surely they would hate me, and because they’re friends with everyone else,” Virgil gasped for air mid sentence, looking around the room for any sign of the twins, they weren’t due to show up yet, and were almost always late. But still Virgil couldn’t risk them finding out from storm rambling to Remy. “then everyone else would hate me. Throughout the whole day Thursday, I meant to tell them, but then my mind was all like ‘would they even like you back, and what would you do if they don’t, it would be too awkward to stay friends, wouldn’t it?’ And so I backed out. Cause I’m really scare of ruining my friendship with them becuase I have feelings and they don’t.” Virgil’s speech was slowing down a little bit, but that was only due to the lack of breath that storm was taking in. So he took a few to breathe in and out deeply, and quadruple checked the room to make sure that the twins still weren’t there to continue rambling. “Friday was weird, because I actually almost told them. Roman, Remus, and I were just hanging out at the park, and I got cold, and they both offered me one of their jackets, and honestly how could I say no. And is that a sign they were flirting with me? Anyways, they each handed me a jacket, but before I could say anything, I remembered that I never asked them about their thoughts on polyamory before, and if they would ever, like, share a boyfriend. That sounds weird, but you know what I’m trying to say,” Virgil interrupted stormself again, gasping for breath again because he kept losing all of the oxygen in his lungs due to the fact that storm was trying to get this all out in one go. He caught Remy’s eyebrow raise, and could tell that storms friend was actually invested in whatever was going on in his love life.

“Hun, maybe you should take a few to breathe before continuing.”

“No time Remy, both of them will be here in maybe a few minutes, and I’m confessing to them today, at this cafe. Where I officially got to meet them y’know? Anyways, where was I…”

Remy sighed, knowing they weren’t going to convince Virgil to slow down on his storytelling. “Alright hun, you were at the part where you said you were just thinking about their thoughts on polyamory, and whether or not they’d be fine with you dating both of them.”

“Oh yeah, so that was on Friday, and I didn’t know how to bring it up without sounding weird, so I kept trying different topics of small talk, like, isn’t the sky pretty, kind of small talk. And eventually we got on the topic of polyamory, although I don’t remember how,” Virgil started looking around again, trying to make sure that neither Roman nor Remus were here yet. Thankfully storm didn’t see either of them. It really was a good thing that Remus and its brother were always running late. “And eventually I learned that not only were they fine dating the same person as their other brother, but they both actually have a crush on the same person. And while I know that they probably don’t like me like that, I have to tell them before I can move on y’know? Like I want to be happy for them when they get into a relationship with the person they like. But I can’t do that unless I tell them I like them.”

“Alright babes, I have a few questions. One, how do you know they don’t like you? Yes, you do have to answer that question with actual facts. Two, how do you know that, if the person they like isn’t you, they would get into a relationship with them? And three. How The Fuck do you talk so fast?” Virgil stilled at that, not quite sure how to anwer the questions that storm’s best friend just posed.

“Well, for the first question, I know I’m really self-deprecating, and I’m not that attractive. Plus I’m kind of small for someone my age, and they have said before that dating someone small could be a problem because kissing them would be harder, and so I’d have to be worth the effort for them to bend down and kiss, and honestly Remy, I don’t think I am. Plus if they liked me wouldn’t I have noticed by now?” Virgil gasped and looked around the cafe again for those two. Thankfully, it seemed like they were running late. “As for your second question, who wouldn’t want to get into a relationship with them? They’re cute, sweet, handsome, stunning, smart, adorable, kind, beautiful, pretty, intelligent and despite the sometimes crude subjects that they bring up, both of them are really compassionate, like that time when-”

“I get it hun, they’re cute, kind, and smart. But, no offense, I wouldn’t date them, they aren’t my type. Also, remember not to idolize them, as that’s not healthy for anyone. Like, babes, I’m not saying that they aren’t cute, kind, and smart. I’m saying don’t put them on a pedestal. It gives them hopeless expectations to live up to, and it hurts you when they can’t live up to it. It’s not pretty, remember my relationship before Emile? That’s why it went so sour. Also, please stop putting yourself down like that hun, I get feeling that way, but saying it outloud to yourself makes it worse. I know this from experience.”

Virgil had to stop for a minute, and made a note to also acknowledge the mistakes that the siblings made, instead of only focusing on what they did right. It wasn’t good for anyone for storm not to acknowledge what they did that ticked him off, or was downright wrong. “Alright Remy, I promise not to idolize them, I definitely don’t want what happened to you to happen to me. And I’ll try not to, actually with the paycheck I’m getting from all my new friends, I’ll probably be able to get into therapy, since we’ve discussed that that would be a good thing for me to do too.”

“Now hun, you don’t get to ignore my third question either,” Remy said, before adding, “but it looks like your dates are here, so I’ll take my leave.” Virgil blushed and hissed at them, before turning around and seeing two twins grinning and standing behind where storm’s back used to be.

“So, lovely stormcloud, I heard you wanted to meet us here. Could I ask what this is about?” Roman asked, his voice smooth as silk, and his face held a playful smirk to it.

“U-uh, yeah, just give me a minute, I got sidetracked and need to remember what I was going to say.”

“Well it wasn’t to brutally murder us, but maybe poison? Nah, too many people around, you’d never get away with it, unless…” Remus joked, bouncing on the soles of its feet.

“No, I did not bring you here to murder you. Neither of you have made my hitlist, yet…” Virgil trailed off trying to sound ominous. Although it definitely helped that storm had been getting better at making his voice deeper.

“Oh? What do we have to do to make it on their?” Remus was entirely too excited for being told that it could end up being on a hitlist.

“Uh, haven’t figured that out yet?”

“Oh, that’s kind of sad, I wanted to be first on your hitlist!” Virgil couldn’t help but laugh a little at that, before remembering why storm had brought those to here.

“Err, there’s something th-that I h-have to t-tell you, a-and,” Virgil was having trouble breathing all of a sudden. And storm’s hands were really clammy now, and this was a stupid idea, there’s no way they’ll ever like you back, what are you doing!

And then he felt something cold against storm’s neck. “Stormcloud, I know you want to tell us something, but if you’re not ready we can just hang out and chill. Don’t force yourself to do something you’re not ready for.”

“Yeah, how are we supposed to fill Roman’s shampoo with sickly green hair dye, if you’re panicking.” Roman rolled his eyes, but smiled a little when Virgil snorted a little at that. If you’re gonna do it, do it now before you back out coward!

“I- just- there’s something I need to say, and if I could just kiss you…” Virgil eventually managed to get out, storm’s eyes scared of rejection from either of the two siblings, but willing to risk everything because these feelings were too much for storm. Both Roman and Remus looked at eachother, before Roman walked over to Virgil. And despite Virgil wearing two inch platforms, he was still smaller than both of them, and it showed. Because when Roman got close to storm, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a little small considering with the platforms he stood at 5’4. And Remus and Roman were both 5’8

“All you had to do was ask, stormcloud.”

“Also we kind of figured you liked us both,” Remus said as it started to walk behind Virgil, and eventually wrapping his arms around storm. “You weren’t good at hiding it. Just wanted you to tell us without feeling pressured.” After that Roman lifted Virgil’s chin up with two fingers and kissed him softly and sweetly. Then, after Roman was done kissing him, Remus turned Virgil around and kissed him roughly and passionately.

#dukexiety #prinxiety #roman #remus #virgil #patton #janus #logan #remy #emile #glacier writes #glacier's fanfics #cw transphobia #cw deadnaming #cw murder mentions #cw self deprecation #cw accidental misgendering

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