#dONT SAY ANYTHING IVE ONLY SEEN THE PILOT

[shivvroys]

started watching dead ringers and i’ll be honest…i would let rachel weisz do a fucked up little medical experiment on me that is so unethical it feels biblical

#dead ringers #rachel weisz #dONT SAY ANYTHING IVE ONLY SEEN THE PILOT #i had to pause after the first episode bc i was getting shoulder cramps from getting so tense 😭🤚 #i dont really know what the plot is but i am so mesmerized by this woman #fuck my womb up whatever u want beautiful 🥰😍

[cherry-lynn]

rocky and his water motif

ive seen a few people analyze rocky and his symbolism with water, and i thought id jump on the train and contribute what ive found. i looked through every piece of art in the gallery and messed around with the dead drop to find everything here! with that being said…

obvious spoiler warnings! and warning for a lot of speculation and over analyzing! a lot of things i mention are really big stretches but i added them anyways incase anyone else wants to look into it more

starting where the pilot starts and near the start of the comic (the page “lackadaisy dithyramb”), right off the bat we have an entire poem from rocky dedicated to the mississippi river. this iconic poem is literally just about the river, and he recites it in both scenes from on the bridge over the river.

note that in both cases there is also a crescent moon featuring in the background

more poetry! this one is from the comic on the page “lackadaisy doggerel”. this is actually one of my favourite pages in the comic, its very cool! we have this poem that, again, is entirely about water. it talks about water in a metaphorical way, comparing it to memory and the passage of time. maybe ill try to analyze this poem sometime but idk im not very good at that stuff. seems to talk about rockys past but im not sure

i didnt want to just put this entire page here but i will note that the page has a raging storm, an ocean, a water mill, another storm cloud and a waterfall all picured above rocky, who, in this case is ahem under water, in a way.

last bit of poetry im talking about is probably the most relevant. rockys feauture in the “lacrimosa” poem/halloween artwork shows him seemingly drowning outside a window.

the significance of it being outside a window is somewhat unclear to me, as every other character appears in something reminiscent of a picture frame. my only idea is that its meant to show him outside of what could be a home, in reference to him getting the “unceremonious boot”. the text emphasizes this idea, saying hes away from home

this next one is more obscure and much more of a stretch! after digging around in sketchbook pages, i found this tiny little sketch on a page simply labeled “lackadaisy preview 0018”. the sketch page features sketches that were used for the page “lackadaisy palaver” in the comic, and a few bonus doodles. this was one of the bonus doodles, and i cant seem to find a comic pannel that matches it anywhere.

this sketch could be a lot of things, its a bit hard to tell. most likely, its an unsused pannel of rocky that was going to be used on the comic page. maybe him on whe windshield, or something like that. that being said, the first thing i thought of was the lacrimosa art. its a stretch but i thought id add it, just in case! who knows really

next up is rockys character artwork, which features him standing on a barrel floating in a river.

be careful rocky, you might fall! one little detail about this art that i like is that hes quite literally hiding his sadness behind his back. and again, the crescent moon motif features in the background. the cattails in this image also remind me of this scene in the pilot

…but i mean cattails do grow near water so i dont think that means anything

speaking of the pilot, this scene has rocky accidentally blowing up a water tower and flooding the area, and getting a whole bunch of water dumped on him

be careful rocky, you might get hurt! ...i dont think he cares

one last note from the pilot (for now) is a line from mitzi after rocky comes back with alcohol for them. it could mean nothing, could be foreshadowing, who knows

note in the second image: “rest” as in the rest of the alcohol they were meant to bring back

the music video for liquid gold ends with rocky dropping a bottle and the golden liquid flooding the room

i wasnt even looking for water symbolism when i found this, i was just rewatching the music video for fun! i just about had a heart attack when it ended like that D: rocky please dont drown

back to the comics! sorry this is a bit all over the place. forgive me for just uploading an entire comic page, but the page “lackadaisy thunderhead” features rocky standing over a river. at the bottom of the pannel on the right there are daisys, a symbol that features in a lot of rockys artwork and is generally associated with the lackadaisy speakeasy. the daisys could just be for aesthetics or to frame the pannel better, but its also notable that they appear where the water is.

the name “thunderhead” is interesting given some other pannels

not sure what it means though

the very first scene in the comic aside from the introduction shows rocky at the river.

in the page “lackadaisy trouble boys” from the early concept art mitzi makes a comment about rockys aim, and makes an… interesting metaphor

side note: im gonna cry is that actually how rocky gets the little hole in his ear lmao

the mini comic “wilderness” has rocky climbing out of a small muddy pool of water claiming “the waters great”, despite looking absolutely horrible. isnt shown here, but he says he cant feel his legs and calls for freckle to come back.

knock knock! its time for the playing cards! rockys card depicts him as the 8 of spades, although hes also been shown as the ace of clubs multiple times.

first up, 8 of spades! i really like this art but i have a lot of questions. for one, why is rocky holding a shovel and whats with the lantern? theres nothing wrong with it, just caught my attention since i think freckle is drawn with shovels a lot more than rocky (might be wrong on that though) second, this is the only picture i can find where you can CLEARLY see rockys head injury healed. cool! third, the outfit hes wearing is… atypical for rocky, you could say. for obvious reasons. he always wears blue, why suddenly the change to black? and obviously, the choice of making him the 8 of spades. some quick google searches and this is what i found: from various websites (the first things that popped on on google), apparently spades symbolizes the winter season and the water element. it seems to represent old age, change, wisdom and acceptance. the number 8 supposedly represents victory, prosperity and overcoming. i was going to put images, but i could only have 30 and i ran out of space lmao im so sorry this is SO LONG djfjsjnrfj

make of it what you will. as for the ace of clubs:

my google searches were much less interesting so ill just put my own thoughts. the clubs is likely just for the association with the lackadaisy speakeasy, as in both of these cases he is shown alongside other characters from the lackadaisy and everyone has clubs. as for him being the ace, the main notable thing about the ace is that its generally the highest card.

the main idea i personally took from these cards is the idea rocky will possibly not be a part of the lackadaisy in the furure. we see him in his classic outfit, no head injury as the ace of clubs, with clubs being associated with the lackadaisy. but we also see him with a healed head injury (so clearly in the future) with a new outfit and no more clubs suit.

not sure if this is even notable but this entire (very iconic) scene in the comic takes place in the rain

be careful rocky, you might get shot!

and now, even more crescent moon motifs

so why have i been pointing this out? well its undeniable that rocky also has motif with this crescent moon. i have no idea what it means but heres my very quick five minute thoughts on it: one: the moon controls the tide. obviously a river doesnt really have a tide, but still! theres some association with water there, so its notablea. two: this might be a stretch but in the pilot theres this very memorable frame where it shows the reflection of the moon (which initially looks like a cat) ahem in the water. obviously water reflects stuff so its not abnormal for the moon to reflect in the water but i just thought it was cool!

aaaand last but not least

this analysis was brought to you while listening to hatsune miku, i probably made a lot of typos so yell at me and ill fix them but not my grammar its terrible and im not fixing that, lmk your thought and if i missed anything, thank you for reading have a nice day sorry it was so long <3

#lackadaisy #rocky rickaby

[hostilemuppet]

I finished hazbin hotel last night, and while it was mostly not very good, the finale was decent.

This has nothing to do with tdau, but what’s your opinion on the hazbin/helluva boss franchise? (If you have one)

keep in mind i never finished hazbin: i think the majority of it is cheap shock humour like south park except its not even trying to say anything, its just trying to be edgy for the sake of being edgy. one of my friends really likes it and even he admits it sucks at points. we both like sir pentious but ive heard hes literally a caricature of one of vivs ex friends she hates and wanted to make fun off. i hate how the only lesbian is vaggie. i liked vox, and think his musical number with alastor was the only good one, although i only watched the first two episodes. my friend who likes hazbin also thinks all the musical numbers suck, however, so ive got it on good authority from a smart man who i trust the opinion of (love you bestie if you want me to continue watching for you i will xx)

helluva boss, even though i only watched season 1 (maybe an episode or two from season 2), was a lot better than hazbin. it was funnier (i really love brandon rogers' work. when i heard him do the bryce voice for katie killjoy i was excited bc i thought his involvement meant hazbin was gonna be a lot better than the pilot. it was not) the animation was SLIGHTLY less overdone (from what ive seen thats not even true anymore) even though i didnt really care for most of the characters i did like a couple (blitzo is your classic brandon rogers "asshole with problems you sympathise with before they remind you theyre an asshole". fizzarolli and asmodeus were VERY cute and alex brightman is a talented VA)

i think the fact she got kesha, a SINGER, to voice a character, but ONLY THE SPEAKING VOICE, is literally the dumbest thing ive ever heard in my life. it makes me so goddamn angry. if you couldnt afford her to sing, get someone else. dont get a SINGER to voice a character who SINGS but NOT VOICE THEM SINGING. ITS SO FUCKING STUPID. WHAT THE HELL. HOW DOES SHE SLEEP AT NIGHT. I AM SO SORRY KESHA. I AM SO SORRY THE GUY WHO SIR PENTIOUS WAS BASED OFF. IM SO SORRY EVERY GENERALLY RESPECTED VA OR BROADWAY ACTOR WHO NOW HAS THIS PERMANENTLY ON THEIR IMDB PAGE. KEITH DAVID YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER!

#ask

[chaifootsteps]

Since I disliked Viv from the beginning Ive ONLY ever seen the pilot so I really assumed Stolas would just be this running gag of this creepy guy who keeps calling Blitzo, totally oblivious to his disinterest. It took me a while to realize not only was that not the case but reading what you guys have to say- reminds me of the typical setup in yaoi manga??? A lot of yaoi have them having dubiously conceptual (if consentual at all) sex before knowing anything about each other and getting stuck as fuck buddies until the victim yields and says he's in love with the other guy. I've always found it nasty, it must be popular otherwise they wouldn't keep doing it but Solitz isn't some fucking yaoi manga? I dont even think Viv's into anime

Stolitz is more of a dubiously consensual yaoi manga than some actual dubcon yaoi manga I've seen. A lot of them only have one or two hard no's.

#Anonymous #stolitz critical #actual blog post #helluva boss critical

[angstics]

a long introspective post because i know with time i will forget this and i want to remember it all.

night of june 30th, technoblade's death was announced. i didnt believe it for a few minutes because i couldnt watch the video (i still havent). but it was true -- he passed away age 23 from cancer he discovered *less than a year* before his death. i keep quiet about how much i liked minecraft youtubers 2020 - 2021 because that turned out to be a DISASTER. but technoblade was one of the shining beacons. genuinely always the best, completely outside of post-death rose-tinted glasses. always.

before that, i was kind of getting into my chemical romance. id known of them my whole life. from dan and phil references to annoying ass g-note jokes to the twenty one pilot's cancer cover. i heard the Big Three hits but couldnt tell you what they were (except for "welcome") before listening to three cheers for the first time at the end of june. i dont know why i decided to start them. i wasnt really into music -- my top albums the last couple years included burnham's inside, starkid's twisted, and falsettos (2016). i wish i remembered better. if listening to them for the first time isnt a core memory, this is:

after 6 months of relative stability, i understandably hit a depressive episode in july. i would lie on my couch into the early morning for no reason. i wasnt trying to distract myself from his death ... there were no thoughts to be distracted from. it isnt a headspace i understand, especially since i never left it.

but for another unknown reason i thought to watch those mcr live shows. mind, at this point id only listened to three cheers. no exaggeration, i was betwitched by their performance. i most vibrantly remember gerard's eyes. crazy fucking eyes.

i'd forgotten cancer was an mcr song. when top released their cover, i listened to the original. i decided i liked twenty one pilots' more. i switched on that when i saw my chem on snl (i didnt watch BPID all the way through til a week later). it's the stripped down song, it's the direct lyrics, it's the crazy eyes. like he's trying to communicate EVERYTHING through his eyes.

the intro to BPID was like that too. when he ripped the hospital dress off and did the ghoul scream. had that feeling when i saw frank perform vampire money in glasgow. just. completely uninhibited. performace to say something truthful. unlike anything ive ever seen. from someone who wasnt very into music or live performance or theatre, much less the mechanics of it, i suddenly understood it all.

that screenshot is an abridged version of my actual search history. this is how it went.

june 26 i watched ->

side bar, thinking about it now, my interest in pink floyd directly lead to my interest in mcr. early morning july 1st, this is what i was watching (alan parsons project great reccomendation from my friend bink bonk):

july 2 i was watching videos a friend of techno's publicized to commerate him. the mcr video was in the reccomended tag -- a combo of the live pink floyd video and the im not okay mv. crazy how influenced my life is by where youtube leads me.

then i saw a LITTLE bit of BPID before seeing my chem in 2022 for the first time. this was just weeks after bonn. i didnt watch the full eden either. but i did watch all of "welcome" at milton keynes, based on the time stamps

this whole fucking day spent watching mcr videos. reading 2011, zack sang clip frank iero explains reading 2011 drama, mcr iceberg explained, "mcr best perfomance", "mcr best moments", mcr on letterman, mcr snl, "understanding the black parade" (i had not listened to black parade) -- then i left at 4pm. probably to sleep.

july 2nd was The day. i remember while watching these videos a realization hugging me. i knew that i was struck. from july until november, the majority of my conversations had something to do with my chem.

at the very beginning, i texted people about them to gage modern attitudes. growing up, they were adjacent to bands i thought sold out or lost their spark -- panic!, twenty one pilot, fall out boy. as ive said a million times, there is a Reason i didnt get into my chem earlier. just the other day on a SPECIFICALLY EMO SUBREDDIT there were people talking about how they "weren't ashamed to like mcr". where does this shame come from!!!!!! too mainstream for punk, too punk for mainstream. everyone knows this.

well anyway, july 2nd was just the first layer: the performance. july 11 (/early july 12) was another big day. the second layer: gender and sexuality. literally my tags on the first mcr post i reblogged ->

then i saw the great collection by flockofdoves and. well.

same day i found out about "i wanna be your joey ramone" and sleater-kinney, though i wouldnt listen to the song for a short while. that's layer 4: branching out to other music.

layer 3 was music appreciation. i listened to each of their albums in full sequentionally (KIND OF since i relistened to bullets 3 times were i only listened to the others in full 2 times max), purposuefully holding off for weeks between each album. i remember the first time i sat down to listen to black parade. i was buzzing at like 12:30 am because id decided that was the night. the end -> dead rocked my whole world. never got the instinct to bang your head around til those songs. the whole album was fucking amazing but something aboout famous last words got to me. id be sitting in the car with my sister and singing the bridge over and over. the perfect string of words -- with words i thought id never speak: awake and unafraid, asleep or dead.

i used to hate live performances because the music sounded worse than the studio version while giving me nothing performance-wise. id never wanted to go to a concert in my life. but not only did they sound GOOD live, it was a whole different experience. an adaptation that added to the experience in ways entirely different to what is lost. like i said, crazy eyes. and smiles like flowers and the audience louder than the amps and movement led by sound and memory. like. like nothing else. you cant understand this unless youre in love -- completely dedicated to it.

sometime in august i discovered they were coming to my town the next month. the first concert i ever wanted to go to. my parents were a nightmare about it the whole month until i got the permission to go. ive said also said this a million times: it was like rapture.

i dont understand why you would want to do anything that doesnt work towards that same feeling. my parents didnt get that feeling and i couldnt go to another show. it's been months and it still drives me insane. it drives me fucking insane. it drives me insane.

so those are the core memories related to my chem that got me here. it's a lot of love. love so big i cant even hold. it's belief. something close to religious. it's a lot of fear too -- fear the feeling will go away, that i'll "wake up", fear that they'll be taken. one reason i dont like music is the feelings i attach to it are so profound that i cant listen to it without feeling what i felt in the past. it's why i limit how much i listen to my chem. that's another fear -- though i attach positive feelings to the band, im engaging in it while depressed. more than engaging, obsessing. i cant focus on much else.

i hope as i get better mentally, this doesnt leave me. i got into it to cope. it showed me another dimension of art and life and emotion. it's a hard thing to navigate. i want the good, healthy parts of this to be my life. i hope i can figure that out. i hope it works out.

july 26 2020, i looked this up:

i have no memory of this at all.

the night before, i was on a technoblade binge that ended with me watching one of his seminal videos that i remember beat for beat.

i love technoblade forever. i cant watch his videos right now, but i hope i can someday. i love my chem forever. i hope-

#q.txt #2022 #mcr personal history

[melpomene-writes]

ok so this is shitty and very much the first thing ive ever written (and probably the last).so im sorry beforehand. and please keep in mind that eng is not my mother tongue💪and i didnt proof read. also can i be the 🦦anon if its not taken

it can be seen in the way how she excuses herself when you are in the same room for more then 10 minutes. or in the way how she doesnt hold the eye contact anymore. or how she always pairs you up with literally anyone else but her when you should collect samples from the planet surfaces or when you go out to check on the space crafts outer casing for any damage. because thats what you do, checking on the shuttle to see if anythings wrong. so a few days later when you gather enough courage to ask her whats wrong jihyo doesnt get buffled because thats what you do checking on machines and people. and the way she tries to assure you should be enough because she is looking right through your eyes but what catches your attention is the crumpled papers on the little foldable stall (because they take up so much space[no pun intended] and every mm is crucial if you live with 4 other people in a limited zone). so you know she is nervous because she always writes her thoughts and just scrumples it up if there is a word, even just one, that she doesnt likes. jihyo would probably prefer to drink till she cant remember whats niggling her but alcohol is prohibited in space and even if it wasnt she wouldnt want to be a bad example as the commander.

you try a few more times for her to open up but she doesnt budge untill a few days later. you are talking about the book you finished with momo. she is the lunar module pilot from japan. before the first day of the mission only hearing her name and the title of being the best LMP in japan (maybe even the whole endustry but lets not give her this to brag) made you withdraw a little but turns out she is a really good person to talk to while munching half dry space brownies. in fact she was kind enough to let you borrow her book. you are so engrossed in your conversation that you dont realize that jihyo is standing in fromt of the module that you’re speaking in.

“do you have a minute to talk?” this is the longest thing she said except the orders for the shuttle. you get up without saying anything, just turning back to nod to momo for curtesy.

walking to her own private room feels like its taking hours but infect it should ve less then 5 minutes because the space station that the shuttle situated in is not that big and every one stays close to eachother incase an emergency.

she sits to a chair and expects you to sit on her bed. this is better in a way because at least you have covers beneathe your hand to toy with. you know that look in her face and itll make you need something to fidget with.

“so…” there is a pause and you dont know where to look. “ i have been doing some thinking… and i think we should quit what we have. and before you say something please let me finish.” all you can think of is why arent you so suprised and also you wouldn say anything even if you want to…doesnt she know this? you always seize up when things like this adresses you. so all you do is continue looking out the portholes. it helps a little to be able to see a glimpse of another planet,S818 or something like that, tho very far away,familiar. jeongyeon explaned a few days before that it is so cold and you would be dead the second youve touched the atmosphere so no getting samples from there.

“it is just too much. the responsibility.the burden. its getting to me. i cant sleep. and i dont want to do this between all this. i dont want to think about you while i’m doing something for this mission. its not good for me. its not good for anyone. its not professional. and its making me feel so so bad.” you only now realise that she is standing. you cant formulate your words. you were never good ad speaking dor yourself and jihyo did it for you most of the time. she stops and waits for you to say something. but only thing speaks for you is the tear on your left cheek. a tear that makes you curse the gravity. stupid station. stupid gravity. stupid feelings. the only thing you manage to say is a quite “okay” while you’re wiping it. she turns her back slowly. you wonder if she is also looking at S818. you think it cant be colder than jihyos heart. the tought almost makes you smile untill you remember why you where sitting in this bed in the first place. the small bed that was big enough for jihyo and you ever since your spacecraft attached to this station. you rise slowly and say “ill be out of your way, commander.” with the best voice you can muster. you probably should say something to oppose what she’s saying “please dont say that!” or just a simple “No!”. after that you can continue to make her belive that she is making a wrong decision. you have never been happier. more willing to live. you love her. even though you havent said that to each other that much is evident the way you look at her, the way you brighten up when you see her. (even mina makes fun of your googly eyes though you try to convince her there is no such a thing but no avail.) but you dont dont say anything, you cant. all you can do is to walk away without looking back.

i loved it, tysm 🦦 anon <;3 angst will always be on top 💪

now pt.2 pls (jk, unless...)

#🦦 anon #asks

[voidbeomgyu]

7:06AM: ive been so inactive bc classes just started again, but ive come back to release my anxiety ab this man at the bus stop. im literally in the bus rn but at the stop i was waiting and then some man ive never talked to before pulls up and starts talking to me. ((for context my class starts at 7:15am and i take the 6am bus bc the next bus is at 7am and id be late by a few right but sometimes idc ab being late cos im tired so i take the 7am bus, like today))

so ive seen this fool like mayb two times before ,i cant remember but he never talked to me until today when he walked to the stop and asked me "arent you cold?" cos all i have on rn are my sweatpants and a tshirt over a white longsleeve cos my first class is a body conditioning class im gonna warm tf up right. but i was like "uh aha a little" and he laughed or whatever and then just kept talking like bro im literally trying to text my "more than friends" friend rn leave me alone. he asked if im going to school rn and BRUH MEN MAKE ME BLANK OUT LIKE MY MOUTH GOES ON AUTO PILOT SO MY DUMBASS SAID YES.

ive had some not good at all experiences with men and boys around my age before so idk, ig over time my axiety just got worse? anyway he was like "college? [state] state?" and i omg i was like "no just college ahah" and the nearest one is like the ONLY ONE SO HE CONNECTED THE DOTS TO WHICH SCHOOL I GO TO OBV. i even told him my name bc im DUMB. but like im wearing my bracelets rn right (i make and wear kandi ((pony bead bracelets))) and the one on my wrist has my name on it and so does the phone charm thing i made. so i like noticed him eyeing it and was like FUCK I CANT EVEN LIE ARRGRGRHHR COS LIKE I COULD SAY IT WAS A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER NAME RIGHT BUT WHY WOULD I HAVE MY PHONE CHARM SAY SOMEONE ELSE'S NAME RIGHT GRRRARRGGRGSGR

after he would finish a thought id turn to look forward to the road again and look down at my phone to text my friend right so it would be silent for like 2 second and then BOOM HE STARTS TALKING AB HOW HE GOT HIS LISENCE SUSPENDED FOR THREE YEARS BC HE KEPT BREAKING THE LAW AND GETTING TICKETS IM LOSING MY MIND WHY WOULD I NEED TO KNOW THIS??!??? he was like yea thats why im taking the bus now and have to wake up so early and im sitting there like 😀👍

i had my mask on bc paranoia yardy kno (tmi i have the covid vaccine and two boosters and i still got sick but i didnt die so cool it did what it was supposed to ((tmi tmi my body is so weak when i was in 5th grade i almost died from an infection spreading up my arm to my heart from a PLAYGROUND WOODCHIP SPLINTER IN MY FINGER...))) so like i wear masks bc i dont wanna get sick by ANYTHING EVEN JUST A COLD OR SOMETHING IDC IDC im happy for that tho cos 1. man does not know what my face looks like and 2. face warm

OKAY ANYWAYS when he found out my name he paused for a second and asked who my dad was and i was like ...what so he said something like his ex's brother had a daughter named [MY NAME BRUH] and i was like 😀👍 aaahawggagwggs so he thought i was her or something. i was like oh okay haha and then turned back around like ive been doing to try and end the conversation right, but like we are waiting at the bus stop yk so theres gonna be cars that pass by and its gonna get loud especially rn everyone is going to work. but since it was loud ig i didnt hear him?? cos suddenly his voice is like way louder than before right so i turn and hes like A FOOT AWAY FROM MY FACE IM AARGRHEGR WHY. he said his name i forgot what it was i wasnt paying attention cos i was like 😦 but it think it was michael, so michael if u ever see this ur weird.

anyway then he said something like "you know what's cool?" and bruh i literally saw my life flash before my eyes. why? idk but that sounds so ????? like scary ???? but i was like "uh sure" and then he went on this tangent about being in the navy and that he got to travel the world like three? idk how many times but he was telling me wheres hes been like naming the countries right

i was just sitting there being my polite little self bc i was raised to no matter what respect when someone is speaking to you in a conversation even if u dont wanna be there. like for when someone older than you is speaking to you i mean and this guy was OOOOOLDER THAN ME faded brown hair covered in grey, brown grey fluffy stash, he looked like maybe early-mid fifties but could pass for being like 70 im being so fr. anyway yea im being polite even tho im like so uncomfortable bc thats just what i do idk😭 it was def obv how uncomfortable i was tho i was fidgeting SO much like shaking both my legs, picking at the skin around my fingers, and trying to end the conversation multiple times. but he just kept going😭

but after that whole idk how long tangent ab navy stuff he suddenly asked (after i turned around to stop talking to him ofc) how old i was like "how old are you if you dont mind me asking?" and so i was like scared but also kinda relieved cos i get comments a lot about how much younger AND how much older i look bc ig i just present myself more mature??? even tho my style and stuff isnt like super mature or anything ppl ive talked to like teachers/parents/classmates who are older than me, like mid twenties to late thirties tell me that they thought i was so much older when im actually like a baby. its only ppl my age that say i look younger right, so i was like oh maybe he thinks im like way older or something?? like im wearing a backpack and a little tote with stuff so it looks like im going to school, but he asked if im attending college or a four year uni meaning he thought i was a little older (or at least he just didnt mention a thought of me being in high school? mayb cos im taking the public bus and not a school bus idk). i said the truth bc I HAD HOPE IDK BRUH LIKE IKKKK I RLLY SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD ANY HOPES BC A MAN IS A MAN AND IF U GET WEIRD VIBES THEN THEY ARE PROB VERY MUCH CORRECT BUT IDK😭😭😭

anyway i told him like yea im 18 and when i tell you his face lit up like LIT UP. i was gonna be sick like why are you smiling so hard at me being so young like he was giddy ab it too like STOPPPP. he was like "woww getting your education earlyyy thats awesome" and tbh idk how to take comments like that bc idk hs at least in my state is like "go to college or university immediately after highschool" and during senior year we have stands up to help us apply for schools and stuff so i dont rly see me being 18 at college early or anything so i just sat there like "😀👍 thanks" IM USING THAT EMOJI COMBO A LOT BUT DAWG ISTG THAT WAS LITERALLY ME THE WHOLE DAMN TIME IM SO FR

i was thinking to myself like WHY IS THIS BUS TAKING SO DAMN LONG PLEASEEEE😭😭😭😭😭 but it arrived eventually and he got on first and sat allllll the way at the back. i always sit near the front bc its just easier ig idk but i was like so relieved bruh while i was sitting there listening to him i was thinking like oh my god P L E A S E do not sit next to me to keep our conversation going i want to sit in silence and be CALM. IM LITERALLY A BROKE COLLEGE DANCE MAJOR STUDENT IM SO PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY TIRED AND I CANT EVEN DRIVE SO IM TAKING THE PUBLIC BUS AT 6AM EVERY MORNING SO I WAKE UP AT 4:30AM TO GO TO MY 7:15AM BODY CONDITIONING CLASS.

maybe i am overreacting and it was one of those things thats like a fatherly kind of thing. like how sometimes you might meet a nice man who works at a shop and you see him as like a father figure of sorts yk. but like i really REALLY was not getting that vibe. like at some points i was 'like yea cool okay mayb im wrong and ur just a wise man talking life to a kid you met at the bus stop', but then he'd just keep talking. and yk how theres like a line of where something is like too much to say right. like its a common sense thing to know when you're a GROWN person and you first meet someone who is damn younger than you and could pass as a minor, you dont ask like where they live what highschool they went to, (i forgot to mention but yea he asked me that) or dump a bunch of your life on them. like he told me what highschool he went to, what elementary school he went to, what state it was in, and how he was born and raised there, where he used to work, how he had a motercycle and went 160mph coming off the freeway like an idiot, what car i should get when i decide to start drive instead of taking the bus, how cute it is that my name is so similar to a brand (like a one letter difference so he noticed it right away and was like "ohh thats so cool, you're so unique thats cute"), and that whole ex's brother thing was weird too like idk i feel like you wouldnt ask "who's your dad?" but rather ask like "does [name] happen to be your father?" or something yk. NOT TO MENTION THE LISENCE SUSPENDED FOR THREE YEARS NOW ONE YEAR LEFT THING TOO LIKE 😭 OKAY WHY WOULD YOU TELL ANYONE YOU JUST MET AB THAT😭😭😭

anyway yea i just didnt get the friendly older man you see in those heart touching movies kinda vibe. more like grown man finds a young girl sitting alone at the bus stop and dumps his life story on her to hopefully rush into some sort of relationship with her kinda vibe. (like those situations ((a lot of the time in fiction lol)) where you meet someone for the first time at a bar or something and you talk the whole damn night and either go home knowing everything ab eachother and planning on meeting again or having fucked in the backseat of one of your cars kinda rush i mean) IDK MAN it was like a scary unsettling kinda vibe yk. it was obv he had so much more he wanted to say bc he was like ig stopping himself?? idk how to elaborate on that but when the bus finally arrived he sighed like "aw the bus is here" so i feel like he wanted to talk with me more.

TL;DR im never taking the 7AM bus instead of the 6AM bus again because of a man i met on a cold wednesday morning 😀👍 happy day everyone

#voidbeomgyu #void's life updates

[bl00dgutsgl0ry]

Rivalry Put To Rest

Pairing - Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Warnings - Arranged marriages (non of that under age like child marriages though fuck that yuck, these are obviously of age adults i just really wanna make that clear jesus), praise kink, modern AU, just lovely soft sex with my favorite man :'^).

Word Count - 2.4k

Other Comments - Dude it’s been so long since ive actually written anything im so sorry. But i couldn't resist writing this. I know i promised xiao but he will come in time. This is a little bit of a slow burn, or at least the sex doesnt start right away lol i want this to be nice and soft. P.s. youre on birth control so dont worry about no condom lol.

You did not like this idea. Why your parents were still forcing you into this was beyond you seeing as how you were a fully grown ass adult. You just couldn’t stomach the disappointment you would be seen as in their eyes. You were the daughter to the CEO of one of the most well known Law Firms in Teyvat. Zhongli was the son of another CEO who controlled your Rival company. Yours's and his parents wanted to finally settle the bad blood between the firms by having the two of you get married. You knew damn well the benefits of doing this was, god forbid if your Fathers firm went underwater, you would still be secure with Zhongli as your husband.

It’s not that you didn’t like Zhongli, and he certainly was not ugly; you just couldn’t stand your freedom to choose who you really wanted to marry being ripped from you. It was non negotiable though, so you had to go through with it. Zhongli didn’t seem to mind at all, he thoroughly enjoyed his very brief moments he had with you before, and was frankly excited to get more of those moments. He just hoped you didn’t resent him or blame him for this.

You both of course had an extravagant wedding, why would you not when your family was one of the wealthiest in Teyvat. You were grateful to your parents for letting you invite a few of your friends, and it seemed Zhongli had done the same. There was almost like a crowd formed around you two at the after party, you talking to your friends, and him with his. Zhongli had offered you his arm to hold onto, but you politely declined, feeling that even just holding his arm was too intimate for you.

“Already trouble in paradise for the two lovebirds?” One of Zhongli’s friends had chuckled, a red head with a stupidly smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as you shot a look at him. Your friend Ningguang frowned, turning to look at your now husband.

“Control your dog, Mr. Zhongli.” You let out a chuckle, when you heard Zhongli’s friend scoff.

After a while, it was customary for the newlyweds to go on their honeymoon; so after a couple of hours you had to bid farewell to your friends and family. You approached the jet the two of you would be taking, with Zhongli carrying the luggage not far behind. You went ahead and boarded, while your new husband spoke with the pilot and the crew, sighing to yourself.

“Come on (y/n) suck it up, this honeymoon will be over sooner than you know it.” You mumbled to yourself, settling into the high class jet.

“Did you say something (y/n)?” You jumped, not expecting to hear Zhongli’s voice. “Ah.. My apologies, I did not mean to startle you.” You sighed and shook your head, waiving your hand to dismiss the apology.

“You’re fine Zhongli, I’m just… Nervous is all.” He hummed in response, nodding as he settled himself into the jet.

“I understand (y/n), I really do apologize about this being thrusted into your lap. I know this isn’t the ideal circumstances for a young woman to go through.” You nodded, glad that he understood your hesitance to the situation. Zhongli really wasn’t a bad guy.

“It’s really not your fault Zhongli, I understand you probably had no more say in it than I.” You gave him a reassuring smile, the first genuine smile to grace his line of sight. Without noticing he found himself smiling back, relieved that you didn’t see him with any contempt. A comfortable silence settled, as the jet took off towards your destination.

It wasn’t a long flight, and along the way you were able to make small talk, slowly learning more about Zhongli. After two short hours, you felt the jet jump slightly against the ground before steadying itself on the runway. After a few more moments, you both departed, Zhongli once again handling the luggage, leaving your side to retrieve it.

Before you knew it, you were at the house you would be staying at for your honeymoon. It sat on a beautiful beach side shore, with a large open patio looking out over the ocean. By the time you guys had arrived it was already around 10:00 o’clock at night, so the crescent moon was high in the sky as you both stepped out onto the patio. The moon and stars gleamed against the inky black water, with the rhythmic beating of the waves lulling you both into a comfortable silence. You stood next to your husband and finally for the first time that night, actually took in his face.

The light of the scenery exposed the beauty Zhongli held in his face, the pale light bouncing off his cheekbones and illuminating his golden irises as he looked out over the sea. He must’ve felt you staring because moments later those golden eyes were locked on yours.

“Do you like the scenery (y/n)?” You gave a quick nod before ducking away from his gaze, a red flush rising to your face. You heard him chuckle for a moment before shifting.

“I know what is customary to happen on our honeymoon, and I do not want you to feel pressured to fulfill that part of our relationship.” You flushed even more as you suddenly found the pattern of the wood to be very interesting. You had completely forgot that sex was usually something people did on honeymoons. It seemed normal, because generally the people who get married have had a relationship before this so nothing felt awkward about the topic. Obviously that wasn't the case in this situation, but there was something in you that kind of wanted to. Something in you that felt comfortable enough with him to do it, you already trusted him which shocked you. What if he wasn’t though? What if he was uncomfortable with the thought of having sex with you right now which is why he brought it up so suddenly?

“Thank you Zhongli, you’re too kind. You’ve truly been so understanding through this entire thing.” You looked back up to him finally, and found a gentle smile on his face. He nodded and hummed before turning back to the house.

“We should probably get to bed, it’s already fairly late.” You nodded, pulling out your phone to check the time. You both walked about into the house together. “There is another room down the hall from the master bedroom if you don’t want to sleep in the same bed. It’s smaller so I could always take it.” There he goes, being considerate and kind; handling your thoughts and feelings like glass that would break any second. You remained silent for a moment contemplating on what he had said, before gently shaking your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. I want to share the bed with you.” You smiled up at him, and he looked almost surprised with your willingness, but the shock didn’t last for long before he smiled back at you and nodded; offering you his arm to hold on to, which you shakily took. You both reached the bedroom, where he had placed all of your guy's luggage before letting you go to retrieve your sleeping clothes as he did the same. You went into the bathroom, to give yourself and him some privacy before slowly re-entering. Zhongli was in a pair of brown silk pants with golden accents and a black short sleeve shirt. Your eyes met each other, and Zhongli smiled when he saw you.

“I know that these were unideal circumstances to get married, but I’m happy it is you who is my spouse. I can only hope you think the same of me, and that at some point you can genuinely feel connected to me.” You blushed as he said this, genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. You feel bad for dreading and almost resenting Zhongli when you were first notified about the engagement, once finding out just how compassionate and caring the man before you was. Slowly, the two of you made your way into the large king sized bed. There was a large gap between the two of you, large enough to comfortably fit another person. Your mind raced a mile a minute trying to decide whether or not you should scoot in a little closer to the man next to you.

And so you did, without taking another moment to think about it you shifted closer to Zhongli until your side gently pressed against his. You felt Zhongli stiffen beside you for a brief moment, and for a split second you regretted scooting in; that was until you felt him roll over onto his side and wrap a strong arm around your torso. You could really take in Zhongli’s scent like this and you noticed that he smelled like amber rum, chestnuts, and a hint of vanilla. It wrapped you in a warmth that lulled you into a comforting silence as the two of you laid together like this.

You rolled onto your side, letting Zhongli’s arm now rest against your waist. Your noses were almost touching as the two of you stared into each other's eyes. You saw his eyes dart down to your lips for the briefest of seconds, letting yourself do the same.

“Zhongli…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Can I kiss you?” You saw Zhongli’s eyes widen as his gorgeous eyes met yours, not expecting you to ask him that.

“I would love nothing more… Darling.” You flushed at the mild pet name, before softly placing your lips onto his. It felt as time skidded to a halt, as the two of you moved against each other with the grace of a slow dance. Soon enough it became heated, as you changed positions and straddled his hips. You could feel his boner pressing against you through his pants, and it made warmth bloom in your chest.

“You really want to do this right? You don’t feel pressured my dear?” You smiled at Zhongli’s questions, nodding before he could get another one out. It felt good to be so concerned about, so doted over.

“Yes Zhongli, I really want to do this with you. I trust you.” This time it was Zhongli’s turn to flush, an elegant smile gracing his lips. Before long, the both of you were out of your sleeping clothes and back on top of one another. Your back was to the silken bed sheets, as Zhongli was on top of you lining his hard cock up with your eager pussy. Zhongli gave you one last look before slowly entering you inch by inch. To say he was huge would be an understatement, so he knew he had to take it slow with you so as to not hurt you in any way. Zhongli needed this to be a good experience with you, he would never forgive himself if he hurt you or made this unenjoyable in any way at all.

The noises you were making and the way your hands were clawing at his back reassured him that he was doing everything right so far, always stopping after pushing in a few inches to give you time to adjust. Without thinking, Zhongli's mouth just started moving as words spilled out.

“You’re doing so good for me my angel, you’re taking me so well. You’re too good for me.” With the praise spilling out of Zhongli’s mouth, you couldn’t help but unleash a flurry of loud moans, as he bottomed out. He stood still for a couple moments, making sure you were nice and comfortable, until he felt you trying to move against him; trying to get him to move in and out of you.

“If you were ready for me to move, all you needed to do was ask my gem.” You let out a whine like moan, that evolved into a guttural groan when he finally started to thrust in and out of you. Your nails raked across his skin, surely leaving marks for you to admire after this was all said and done. He wasn’t skipping out on the marks either, as he sucked and bit at your skin, still throwing out praise every time his mouth left your skin. His fingers dug into your hips, as he sped up. He just couldn’t help himself, your wet quivering pussy just felt way too good wrapped around him; sucking him in every time he pulled out.

“I can’t believe it took us getting into an arranged marriage to finally meet, my god where have you been all my life.” Zhongli had begun to groan, obviously getting close to tipping over the edge, with the way his thrusts continued to get sloppier every so often. You moaned in response, too blissed out of your mind to form actual words. Zhongli’s head fell against your shoulder, his ebony black hair hanging off his shoulders.

With a few more strokes, Zhongli had both of you tumbling over the edge and cumming in unison. All that could be heard in your room was the quiet crashing of waves and the combined panting of the both of you. After a few moments of Zhongli getting his breath back he tumbled down next to you, sweaty shoulders touching. A couple seconds of silence passed before you spoke up in a raspy broken voice.

“It took us so long because I’m technically your rival.” You were giggling slightly, when Zhongli let out a loud chuckle.

“I guess you are right my dear, but now we are joined together. And I cannot wait to see what comes of our joining.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin zhongli #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #genshin imagine #genshin impact imagine #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli imagine #zhongli x reader #zhongli smut

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

#on love #love files #uquiz #mine #shut up queenie #long post

[clownmoontoon]

Been thinking of watching darkwing duck because it seems cool from the posts I've seen on your blog but I was wondering something, is he an actual hero or an actor? I only know very little from the ducktales reboot and I think the reboot implied it was all a show but I was wondering if that's true or not :P

Y ES ITS SO GOOD SDLKJKLD I HIGHLY UNDERESTIMATED THIS SHOW AND ITS CHARACTERS AND IM EATING ALL MY DUCK HATER WORDS THIS SHOW IS GREAT!!!!

is he an actual hero? YES!!! DEBATABLE??? ID SAY HES MORALLY GRAY SDLKKJLD BUT HE LOVES IT WHEN PPL THINK HES A HERO he rlly wants to be mysterious also

(( idiot .. basard man...i love hi m, look at that face,, gOD ))

is he an actor? NO!! THIS IS HIS LIFE its kinda a parody of batman (darkwing) and gotham (st. canard) but with toons (as in roger rabbit-esque shenanigans)

hes got his own joker, poison ivy and various other familiar-ish, villain-y toons that have ZERO of the sex appeal of their inspirations, and ALL of the insanity and anxiety ITS GREAT batman WISHES his show was as entertaining as darkwing’s

(( idiot basard man... men, part two electric (and water and grass and clown, ykno the 4 main pokemon types) boogaloo ))

in fact id go as far as saying all the main characters (villains included) are morally gray save for gizmo duck (hes just 100% a gold hearted hero) and negaduck (black hearted asshole with a chainsaw..i love hIM)

the ducktales reboot wanted darkwing to make sense in the world they set up and they made the exceptionally creative ITS A TV SHOW IN THIS UNIVERSE idea to bring it in without having to redo everything

(( meme courtesy of @trashiny-draws <3 ))

i havent seen the new ducktales yet (or the old one THEYRE BOTH ON MY LIST) howeVER a friend showed me the NEGA TWIST ep and from what i can tell ducktales 2017 has the characters written a bit more realistically and less “toony” than the original series 

while darkwing (original) is like FULL TOON 

its def not for everyone bUT IF UR A FAN (LIKE ME) OF MORALLY GRAY CHAOTIC BASTARDS (SOME WITH RLLY GOOD HEARTS) THIS SHOW MIGHT BE RIGHT UP UR ALLEY

lmao me recommending shows like 

also also THE FOUND FAMILY??? that was SEVERELY MISSING from the reboot eps and its prACTICALLY MY FAVE THING in the original series, i understand its kinda hard to fit in but im hoping with the actual darkwing reboot they bring that in ;; 

like yeah its a batman parody but with everything batman severely lacks (just my opinion pls dont @ me batman fans SDLKJKLD), instead of going back to his ~mansion~ when hes in civilian clothes, darkwing goes to a regular house to be a “regular” SINGLE dad with his adopted daughter and live in husband sidekick

ALSO P SURE HE CREATED HIS CIVILIAN IDENTITY AND BOUGHT A HOUSE JUST SO HE COULD ADOPT HER, HE ADORES HER AND EVERY TIME HE GOES DAD WITH HER IM LIKE 

I DEFY U TO WATCH THE PILOT AND NOT GO SOF FOR THESE TWO IVE NEVER SEEN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THERES IN ANYTHING AND ITS SUCH A GREAT TROPE 

“chaotic bastard adopts chaotic child no one wants bc this is the ONE KID he is like oh no i love her, my child now ALSO HES A SUPER HERO”

ASDLJKkljd anYWAYS YA I RECOMMEND IT GO WATCH DARKWING DUCK

DID I MENTION SHORT KING RIGHTS???

also this show is EXTREMELY gay coded like dont @ me but CMON

this reminds me of how i thought the fandom was just excited about ships w the yakuza games but surely none of the stuff i saw in fan art actually happened in canon bUT NO THEY ARE JUST RLLY LIKE THIS AND ITS BEEN LIKE THIS W THE DARKWING ART IVE SEEN im like “oh thats funny and rlly gay” AND THEN IT TURNS OUT TO BE FAN ART OF AN ACTUAL SCENE SLKDJLKD

THIS POST LONG AF ALREADY SO ILL JUST END IT SAYING THAT IF U GONNA WATCH U SHOULD WATCH THE PRODUCTION ORDER!! not the order it aired on tv!! 

u can find the production order on the darkwing wiki! <3

me: DARKWING > BATMAN

batman fans:

#darkwing duck #darkwing #gosalyn mallard #drake mallard #quackerjack #jacky #megavolt #megs #liquidator #bushroot #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #clown honks #moonime #AUHGHGH I LOVE IT SM #HAHAHAHSDLKJKJSKLDf

[satirewrites]

been reading a lot of klance fics lately and i just wanted to talk about rivalries for a second. ive seen some stories call the rivalry between lance and keith a form of ‘pig-tail pulling’ and i take exception to this a whole lot, bc the very idea of ‘pigtail pulling’ i.e. boy has crush on a girl, decides to bully her for attention, is so deeply rooted in toxic masculinity that it sickens me. the fact that the boy’s outlet for his emotions is aggression. the fact that it would ever be acceptable for a prospective romantic partner to display their interest through cruelty. i dont think ‘pigtail pulling’ is anything close to these character’s interactions. their rivalry doesnt exist bc of ‘unsettled sexual tension.’ 

it exists bc lance is a character that is motivated by a deep desire to succeed and is constantly shown to succeed only in keith’s shadow. his mission to reach fighter class only succeeds bc he takes keith’s place. this hurts. his accomplishments are not his own accomplishments. there is no way to remove himself from second place, to stand on his own two feet, not in any meaningful way, bc there is no longer any authority that can recognize him. in a way, piloting the blue lion was extremely important to his development, bc that is something that lance can definitively say belonged to him. so later his removal from the blue lion, into keith’s lion, is the closest thing to a cosmic fuck you as you can get. their rivalry is a misplaced outlet for lance’s feelings of inadequacy. 

i think lance has every reason in the world to resent keith and i enjoy the idea of them starting out in space with actual resentment between them. but this is mostly because i enjoy the enemies to lovers trope. i like characters who have seen the worst of each other and decided to love each other anyways. ive been neglecting keith’s side of things, but he is not a person who thinks highly of others, very quick to dismiss them. he doesnt get along with people, doesnt like people, and this could give him a very bad first impression about lance. 

all this is to say that a romance between these characters cannot start happening until they start to understand each other. lance’s insecurities are so tied together with keith that his character arc really should have been focused on lance’s realization that keith is actually a kind person. lance starts to realize that he cant hate keith, despite the fact that the universe has designated lance as keith’s shitty replacement. i think it could be interesting if lance tries to resign himself to the keith replacement role for a bit, unable to hate keith for anything he does, but still hurting from the sidelines. this is a classic lancer trope, dutiful to the leader, supportive of the leader, but always sidelined, always second place. lance’s core motivation naturally rebels against such a role, but it seems its a role destined for him. now a REAL good lance character arc would involve lance leaving voltron altogether. the natural culmination of all these feelings of inadequacy is a journey of self-discovery, leading to a confidence in his own abilities that has nothing to do with keith. tldr lance should have had a character arc voltron sucks

#INFODUMPS ABOUT VOLTRON FOR 30 MINUTES #its ok you dont have to read this akjsaljs #voltron #vld #klance #lance #vld keith #vld lance #keith #charlie chats

[hyperfixationqueen]

Alastor being Mixed, Creole, and a Voodoo Practicioner

Mkay so since it’s canon (as of now??) that Alastor is mixed race and Creole,, and in the Pilot he has many voodoo symbols and references (Charlie mentions it as well), it is highly likely he is a mixed Creole person from New Orleans, Louisiana.

So Vivziepop says Alastor is Creole, which isn’t necessarily defined by race. They also heavily imply in the show that he’s a practitioner of Voodoo/Hoodoo, which are defined by many actual members of those communities to be a closed religion/practice. This means that the only people that can practice voodoo (the religion) or hoodoo (the folk magic) are black people, or people of African Descent/Heritage. Alastor being mixed and likely from a region heavily populated with practitioners of Voodoo, makes it likely he is also a Voodoo practicioner, which wil hopefully be (accurately) represented in the show. It could definitely make things interesting!

Although the Hazbin crew have been very iffy on Alastor’s race; they seem to not have their minds completely made up? I’m not sure why though. Imo if they want to make him connected to voodoo and have all those connotations, they should make him mixed/black. As a white person that has read up on people’s opinions about voodoo being closed/open, it seems to me that only black people or people with close African roots should practice. I’ll just leave sources/more to read about that I suppose.

Basically, if the crew wants to keep up with the American Voodoo influences, I’d keep Al as a southern mixed guy. I’d ask them to keep in mind that correlating an antagonist character wth a religion/practice that is already heavily stigmatized might not be the best idea?? But since they’ve already kinda dug in, I would just be careful.. make sure to represent Alastor as being an antagonistic character that happens to be a voodoo practitioner instead of contributing to the stereotypes that voodoo/hoodoo are dark magic or whatever.

If I got anything wrong, please feel free to tell me! I’m not the most knowledgeable on this topic, but I tried my best to research and read experiences from those that are a part of voodoo/hoodoo. I also acknowledge that those involved with the practice may have differing opinions, but from what I’ve seen many agree that Voodoo, Hoodoo, and Vodou are closed practices/religions. But yeah, feel free to add on or correct me on anything!

Posts About Vodou/Voodoo/Hoodoo being Closed Practices:

https://blog.spiritroots.co/post/172918271218/the-racism-appropriation-of-africana-traditions

https://mamaruehh.tumblr.com/post/171012800044/the-power-the-mystery-and-the-glory-that-is

https://blog.spiritroots.co/post/173660288818/i-was-born-to-a-line-of-witches-clairvoyants-and

https://heretic-knights.tumblr.com/post/183678793344/yall-act-like-you-can-separate-hoodoo-from

https://marvelsguantletkeeper.tumblr.com/post/183915108230/ive-said-it-before-and-ill-say-it-again-dead

https://audio-sexual.tumblr.com/post/616743694549303296/some-fffff-witch-decided-to-play-colonizer

https://lady-of-flowers.tumblr.com/post/179902597795/hoodoo-is-a-closed-tradition-to-those-of-the

https://shewhohonors.tumblr.com/post/182903231157/hoodoo-is-for-black-people

https://clairecognizance.tumblr.com/post/183194229884/why-would-the-spirits-care-if-they-were-merely

https://shewhohonors.tumblr.com/post/183201116387/hoodoo-a-not-so-popular-opinion

https://afrocentric-divination.tumblr.com/post/157906846109/whats-the-difference-between-hoodoo-voodoo-and

https://lady-of-flowers.tumblr.com/post/184025870580/since-soulsistrin-blocked-me-let-me-just-repeat

https://blog.spiritroots.co/post/171712374528/hi-i-saw-your-posts-about-rootwork-and-i-was

https://shewhohonors.tumblr.com/post/183919483047/a-lot-of-non-blackmostly-white-people-want-to

https://hyperfixationqueen.tumblr.com/post/621600695930470400/i-woke-up-to-a-white-woman-calling-rootworkers

https://taankhsrealhoodoo.tumblr.com/post/186443862150/if-you-did-not-descend-from-these-people-former

https://lavenderlundi.tumblr.com/post/184992859867/hoodoo-is-an-african-american-folk-practice-that

https://shewhohonors.tumblr.com/post/187084250452/non-black-people-dont-get-personally-called

https://airyaphrodite.tumblr.com/post/621166414038007808/white-witches-yall-r-not-descendants-of-white

https://stormywitch.tumblr.com/post/186212386336/heres-the-thing-i-am-all-for-white-people-im

https://justiceayo.tumblr.com/post/617335074122235904/a-working-bibliography-of-books-on

https://niggazinmoscow.tumblr.com/post/171449117328/great-thread

https://fayzaundevon.tumblr.com/post/170688899166/feel-free-to-reblog-this

Good Post on Alastor and Vodou:

https://galemalio.tumblr.com/post/611798202963968000/mindful-consumption-of-hazbin-hotels-vodoo

Cute Theory About it:

https://caskit2.tumblr.com/post/190394320076/guys-holy-hotdog

#hazbin hotel #alastor #myposts #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor voodoo #voodoo #hoodoo #vodou #voodou #vodoun #new orleans #hazbin hotel theory

[ingayderzim]

not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

#hazbin hotel #anon

[that-sweet-almond]

vivziepoop could make a show that's literally just live-action footage of conservative christians saying "gay people are drug-addicted perverted sinners who all deserve to die and black people are aggressive monsters who want to steal our white women" with swearing badly edited into it and fans would still defend it by squealing "bubuubuubt theyre MEANT to be evil ;;n;;; let me enjoy my gay sin babies" like ok go jack off to animal porn somehere else lol

Im sorry, but what is happening here?? Have you even seen the pilot? You know the whole heaven vs hell is a christian concept, by those words specifically, right? Second, conservative christians are the farthest from being right when it comes to christianity and i can tell that with confidence because i am myself a christian, and i too have suffered in their hands. Im not saying they deserve to go through whatever you're trying to imply, and neither does it look like thats what the team of the show pretends to portray. Third, what the hell does the animal porn have to do with anything me personally have talked about?? I only answered an ask! I feel sorry for you that you cant have an open mind when it comes to topics that differ from your perspective. I got into this fandom fairly recently, and ive also only recently learned about the discourse surronding viv. And when it comes to this type of thing, i try to understand what is happening first, and then take a stand. But my god, people are human! People can make mistakes and apologize for them and try to fix it. And from what i got, viv is doing just that. And you cant forget the show is run by a whole team of working animators and story boarders and plot deciders, whatever the name is. Its not just on her. She's the main face, but the show is a product of everyone's work. If you dont like it, simply dont watch it! There's plenty if shows out there to find.

#yep this looks like discourse #what did i even do to offend you my dude #hazbin hotel #yes it has to do with vivzipop #i dont even know half of the hate around her #why are you attacking me??

[breanime]

Heartworm (Part One)

Guess who got her internet baaccccck! This gal! So @songtoyou sent me this request and I IMMEDIATELY started getting ideas. This could be up to or past 5 parts, I don’t even know! It all depends if you guys like it and want more! This is kind of a soft re-imagining of season 2.

Request:  How about instead of Billy going to his stupid psychiatrists place to seek refuge, he goes to the home of a girl who he was in a serious relationship with. Like, this girl is the only person Billy could ever see himself settling down with. However, once he got money, status, and power from Rawlins he pushed her to the side and eventually dropped her from his life. But once she sees the state Billy is in and how sad, scared and alone he is she wants to help him.

Part One is based on Halsey’s Without Me, particularly these lyrics:  

Found you when your heart was broke I filled your cup until it overflowed Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close) I was afraid to leave you on your own

I said I'd catch you if you fall And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (All) And then I got you off your knees Put you right back on your feet Just so you can take advantage of me

*gif not mine* (I gotta stop using this gif lol)

You stood frozen in your living room, eyes glued on the TV. The news was saying that Billy, your Billy, was a murderous traitor and a danger to society. You watched as they showed footage of Billy’s apartment up in flames. They said he bombed it himself after killing a handful of Homeland Security agents, they also said that he hired mercenaries for his Anvil staff. The government seized his assets. He shot Curtis in the shoulder. He knew about Frank’s family. He set them up to be killed. Billy. Your Billy.

Except he wasn’t your Billy anymore; he hadn’t been your Billy for three years. You sat down on the couch, legs numb with shock, as you took in what the newscaster was saying about your ex-boyfriend, the only man you’ve ever loved. They flashed a picture of him on the screen. The caption read: “Armed and Dangerous, Do Not Approach”. The newscaster was saying something about Homeland and Frank going after Billy, but it was all starting to sound like white noise to you. Your mind said to get out of town and run until it was all over, but your heart wanted to reminisce, wanted to remind you why you even cared in the first place.

“…and I’m gonna have a Rolls Royce,” Billy said, one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your waist, “I’m gonna drive it to meetings, rich assholes love a power play.”

You smiled up at Billy, you loved listening to his grand plans for the future. “Are you gonna be a pocket square kind of rich asshole or a ‘Maureen, hold my calls’ kind of rich asshole?”

“Mm,” Billy pulled you closer to his naked chest, “I’m gonna be a pocket square kind of asshole,” he answered, “that’s the best way to run a business.”

“Of course,” you agreed, snuggling up against him, “you’re gonna be a big shot. And I’m gonna have to make an appointment with Maureen just to see you.”

Billy tsked and put a finger on your chin, lifting your face so you were eye-to-eye. “That ain’t never gonna happen,” his dark eyes bore into yours, “I’ll always have time for you.”

You smiled and pressed your lips against his. You felt Billy’s arms tighten around you, lifting you up until you were laying on top of him. You kissed him again, slowly parting your lips, inviting his tongue into your waiting mouth. His eyes were heavy-lidded with lust when you pulled back. You rubbed your nose against his. “I love you.”

His smile made your chest heave with adoration. “I love you too, Y/N.” He kissed you again. “I promise I’m gonna make you proud one day, baby. I’m gonna get us outta this shit hole and out you somewhere nice, where you belong.”

You shrugged. Money and status meant a lot to Billy, meant success, but you were happy enough where you were. Yeah, your apartment was kind of small, and yeah, the heat stopped working every few months, but you’d lived in worst places. Besides, you had Billy. He made you so unbelievably happy; you could have lived in a cave—as long as Billy was with you, you’d be fine. “You know I’m already proud of you,” you told him, “You’ve accomplished so much already.”

“Mm,” Billy kissed the top of your head, “I can do more.” He kissed your nose. “I’m gonna get this security shit together.” He kissed your right eyelid. “I’m gonna get us a place uptown.” He kissed your left eyelid. “And I’m gonna make it so you don’t ever have to work again.” You sighed as he kissed your cheek next. “I ain’t gonna let anyone look down on us anymore.” He kissed your other cheek. “I’m gonna make you so happy, baby.” You felt yourself melt when he finally kissed you on the lips. “I’m gonna take care of us…

…I’m gonna take care of you.”

You turned the TV off, cradling the remote to your chest. You felt your breath getting shallower and casually recognized your erratic heartbeat. You didn’t know what to do. You believed the news—you weren’t sure about the details, but you knew Billy well enough to know that he would do anything for power. You had seen the change that money bought him firsthand, and you didn’t like it at all. You thought about calling Curtis, but you didn’t want to bother him. He was probably up to his neck in cops and paperwork and…Homeland Security, apparently. You wondered how it came to this. Frank was alive. Billy was a wanted man. Curtis was wounded. And you…were alone.

You spent the night on the couch, too numb and confused to get up. You dreamt of Billy and woke up shivering. You got up and made yourself a cup of coffee. Your phone was on the counter, and you frowned as you picked it up. You had missed calls from your mom, your best friend, your boss, and your sister. You had no desire to speak to any of them. You also had a call and voicemail message from an unknown number. Hitting the speaker button, you played the message.

“You’re gonna hear some things on the news.” Billy. “They’re true. I…I did all those things they say I have. By the time you get this message, I’m either gonna be on the run or dead.” It sounded like he took a breath before continuing. “I wanted to see you before I go, but…that’s not gonna happen. So just… Just know that I…” A sigh. “…I think about you all the time. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, a lot of bad choices, done a lot of shitty things, but… I only regret one thing: letting you go. I wish… I should have fought for you more. I should have…” There was some shuffling, and you thought Billy might have put the phone down for a moment. “Listen, they’re gonna say a lot of things about me, and people are gonna try to tell you that I’m heartless and evil, but I want you to remember…You loved me once. You’re the only one I could ever be honest with, the only person in this world who knows who I am. Just… Remember that. And… I’m sorry, Y/N. Goodbye.”

You stood in your kitchen and listened to Billy’s message for at least another 30 minutes. By the time you went back to the couch and turned the TV on, Billy was pronounced near-death and was being kept under constant surveillance at the hospital. Frank Castle was said to be ‘in the wind’ and Anvil was being torn down and all the profits split up. The news interviewed a medical professional about the chances of Billy making any kind of recovery. They predicted he would be dead in six months.

You turned the TV off and wept.

It had been nearly a year since everything went down with Billy. The coverage for Billy’s case had pretty much stopped after a month, and people were onto the next scandal now. Curtis had stopped by your place and told you that Frank left town. The visit had been brief, but he told you what Billy had done—confirming what you’d heard on the news—and said that his orders had come from someone named Rawlins. Rawlins, you understood, was dead. Curtis had word from Frank to tell you that he had been given a new identity by the government and was going to hit the road for a while. When you asked why he’d want you to know that, Curtis had just said: “you needed to know it was over”. You should have felt anger, or pity or sadness but… you felt nothing. You had been operating on auto-pilot, swimming in a thick fog of numbness, since Billy had been arrested. The last thing you could remember feeling, really feeling, was a deep and intense sorrow when you listened to Billy’s message. He had broken your heart, left you, and then revealed himself to be a monster and you…You were just tired.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Y/N,” Billy’s back was to you. You had barged into his office at Anvil, demanding to see him, but now that you were there… The way he was talking to you was cold and detached. His stance was rigid, his focus was on the recruits below him, not on you. This Billy—CEO Billy—was not what you had signed up for.

“I want you to say you’re sorry,” you said, “I want you to say you care.” Billy didn’t say anything. You clenched your fists. “Look at me, Billy.”

He turned. He was wearing an expensive three-piece suit and his hair was impeccably cut. His eyes, the eyes you loved, the eyes that looked at you with such care and affection, were hollow.

“What happened to you?” You asked, looking him up and down with disgust. “You never come home, you barely spend any time with me—”

“What do you want, Y/N?” He said, irritation clear in his voice. “I’m busy. I’m working. I’m trying to afford the penthouse we live in and the car you drive.”

“I bought my own car,” you reminded him, eyes narrowed as you glared at him, “And I work, too, but I make time for the people I love.”

Billy sighed, rolling his shoulders. “I told you, you don’t have to work.”

You sighed then. He was missing the point. “Billy,” you tried again, “I’m tired of this. I can’t keep being an afterthought for you. I need you.” You tried to look in his eyes, but he avoided your gaze. “I miss you.”

Billy walked over to you and put a hand on your waist. He pulled you towards him and kissed you. “I miss you, too,” his voice was husky as he moved his lips to your neck, “I know I’ve been working a lot lately, but we’re so close…”

You closed your eyes. You wanted to have a conversation, but it was hard to think of words—let alone form any—with his mouth on your skin. “Will you come home tonight?” You asked, breath short and voice heavy with lust.

“Mm hmm,” his hand slid to your ass as he kissed you again, “I’m gonna be all yours tonight.” He licked into your mouth and smiled when you moaned.

You felt his hardness pressing against your front and you deepened the kiss. “I don’t know if I can wait that long,” you whispered.

Billy chuckled and released you from his grip. You glared as you watched him walk over to his desk. He pressed a button on his phone and leaned over to speak. “Hold all my calls,” he ordered, smirking over at you, “I don’t want any calls or interruptions for the next hour.” He walked past you and you heard him lock the door behind you. His eyes were gleaming when he turned back to you and he looked like himself, like your Billy, again. His smile made your heart skip a beat. “Take your clothes off, baby. I want to spend some time with you.”

You sat up with a start. It had been months since you’d last dreamt of Billy. You looked around you and cursed under your breath. You had fallen asleep on the couch. No wonder you were off. You hadn’t been able to have a full night’s rest without sleep aids since…since Billy had left that message on your phone. If you didn’t take a pill before you went to bed, you would dream about Billy. You didn’t want to dream about him, you wanted to ignore the ache in your chest and the emptiness in your life and just… Get over it. Get over him. You felt a headache coming on, so you shuffled to the bathroom for a quick shower before bed.

Your mind kept going back to Billy as you got ready for bed; you remembered the strain in his voice in the message he left you, how he used to laugh when you stuck your cold feet on his back, the way he stared down at you as he shifted inside you, driving you wild. You could see his eyes, dark and expressive and so full of love when he looked at you, every time you closed your eyes. You gave up on sleep and went back to the couch, deciding to just spend the night watching horrible night time TV until you could get Billy out of your head.

You were finally getting into the Real Housewives marathon you had been watching when you heard a knock on your door. You glanced at your phone: it was 11 pm. Who the hell would be at your door at this time? You grabbed your phone in case you needed to call the police and stood on your tip-toes to look into the peephole. Your mouth fell open at the same time your phone hit the floor with a dull thump.

Billy Russo was standing in the hallway of your apartment. And he was covered in blood.

*************************************************************************************

I have the next two parts locked and loaded! Pleaaase comment and let me know if you want the rest. The more feedback I get, the more I update! Thanks for reading, and may Billian be with you.

BTW, I got the title from this “emotion that’s hard to describe word”:  Heartworm: a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

TAGLIST: @delicatelilyflower @doneobrien @ladyblablabla @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor  @starsfragments @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @hisgirlwednesdayaddams@fictionwillneverdie @maria-beretta @sadnessxvodka @ymariejp @sunnycolors @moonlightsay @its-all-o-kay @damagelove @keyeluh @itsmylife98 @funerals-with-cake @littlemermaidprobz @teacuplotus @king4thesirens @mrsjaxtellerfan @thebabblingbook @tartelette-aux-fraises @madamrogers  @charlylama @iaintnofurry​ @k-buggz2001​ @whitewolfslittlesilverfox @drinix @elanor-of-imladris @floralpeaceofmind

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #the punisher #heartworm

[reigensarataka]

Have you ever made a fic rec list you could link me to?? If not what are ur fave fics???

what’s are ur fave klance fics overall?

do you have some nice fluffy klance fic recommendations? pls i need sustenance

ive been putting this off for so long now bcs i never save/bookmark the fics i read nd i can never remember the titles BUT i managed to dig some of them up so!!!!!!! under the cut bcs its kinda long wuwhwuhw

Cut to the Feeling by usernicole

“Let’s do it again,” Keith says breathlessly. “Here and on every planet we come across. Let’s get married on every planet we can.”“Are you joking?” Lance asks, incredulous. “You really want to get married to me on every planet we land on?”“Yes,” Keith says, voice high pitched and shaky with residual adrenaline. “Yes. Every planet. If it feels like this every time, let’s get married ten, twenty, a hundred times.”

 “Let’s break records. I want the universe to see us and be jealous.”

Or: Five times Keith and Lance get married, and one time they don’t.

my good bitch. my dude. if u havent read this then PLEASE do urself a favor nd read it asap…. like i shit u not this is probs my all time fave and its just them getting married on every planet nd. its just. idk just rly gives u that warm feeling in ur heart u know……

call me, beep me by orphan_account

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes could very easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?(00:45) What(00:46) The(00:46) Fuck???(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!

where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

a classic from the early fandom days, rly popular so yall probs read it already but text fic nd just. yah its cute…..

A Light In The Dark by usernicole

Far away from his friends at the castle, Keith’s only way of communicating with them is a battered old phone. This is maybe going to be harder than he thought.

A long-distance, friends-to-lovers fic, set during season four.

u might not know of this but i am one huge slut for these kind of fics nd all i gtta say is this shit rly changed my goddamn life (i think there r two parts but im not sure if i read the second one so!!)

blue notes by mothpoem

This laughter, here and now, is hushed, and soft as rain, and Lance can feel it against his face, in warm puffs of air. It’s a laugh reminiscent of a furtive secret, like something only Lance is allowed to see. He watches it run its course in the near-pitch black of the observatory, with starlight gleaming weakly against Keith’s pale face, and that’s right about when Lance’s heart gives a few foreboding throbs, heavy on the bass, as if to say, they’re here (they being romantic feelings for Keith Kogane, Lance’s former mortal enemy and current friend).

Oh, he thinks to himself, with sudden and startling clarity. I’m Fucked, capital F.

its not finished nd i havent even read chap 2 yet but its a rly good take on lances pov from all the moments from s1 (also the garrison *eye emoji*) with keith nd. yeah.. its good……

and we dream of home by mothpoem

“Then come see me,” Lance murmurs, and it makes Keith’s heart pound behind his breastbone. “Us, I mean. Once a week or something? Like mental health check-ins. We can just hang out, or…or go on low-priority, low-stress missions? Scouting, or flower-picking for Coran, or supply runs. Dumb stuff. Just…so we know how you are. I don’t want…I mean, we all miss you. And I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but…it feels like you’re not…not okay, Keith.”

Well, Keith thinks, a little weakly. He never really stood a chance, did he?

“Okay,” he says, right away. No fight. No refusal.

His life is a hell of a lot easier when he lets himself cave under all the ways he wants Lance’s luminous attention, and company, and friendship. All the ways he wants Lance, full stop.

another one of those fics set during s4……… once again nothing to add just. please read it…… i loved this…….. sm………………

Moonset Deep by MilkTeaMiku

  All his life he’d been told to make sure he was never seen – it was what all the children were taught from the moment they were born. Never let a human see you, never fall in love with a human, and most importantly, never kiss one.

For Lance, humans were a mystery. He’d lived beneath the surface of the ocean with his shoal his entire life, and had intended to remain there. He knew the danger humans posed to his kind, and what would happen if he came close to one. That’s why, when he found one drowning, his first instinct was to save him.

He’d never been good at following the rules anyway.

mer au!! i started reading this a rly long time ago and im on chap 27 i think…. but this ones good…….

can we burn it slow by saltylances/stereostars on tumblr

“Sweet dreams, pilot.” A wink. “Make sure not to drool over me too much.”

Keith thrusts his middle finger over his shoulder as he steps out of the room, but he can’t hold back the smile that kicks up the side of his mouth. When he dares a look back, just before the doors are about to slide shut, he sees Lance kiss his fingertips and blow air over his palms at Keith.

It makes Keith wonder if it’s possible to fall any harder.

In which alternating snapshots between Keith and Lance lead to their eventual relationship.

WUH i love anything saaj writes….. a masterpiece…. also please read ‘so what are you waiting for’ too………..

under your feet the dirt turns to gold by laallomri

“I like you,” Lance says in a rush.

Keith blinks.

“That is—” Lance clears his throat, shifting his weight uncomfortably. His hands are still in his pockets, his shoulders still hunched. “I like you—I like-like you. Like, in a more-than-friends-way like you.”

For a long moment Keith can only stare at him, astonishment and disbelief and cautious delight warring for dominance. And then, because he’s an idiot, because he spent a whole goddamn year in a goddamn shack in the middle of the goddamn desert and has no idea how to be a socially competent person, because he’s Keith, he says, “That was a lot of the word ‘like’ in one sentence.”

In which Keith has about a dozen chances at happiness, and sabotages (nearly) all of them.

yummy……….. this one rly hit the spot my dudes……… i think there r 2 parts too!!

Sweet Quiznak by CheckeredCloth

“You’re really into him,” Hunk mutters, and wow, Lance’s face is on fire.  Hunk is killing him.

“Look, read into how you like, Freud, just make sure that if I die Keith knows I totally would’ve mowed his ass like grass.  That way, I can laugh hysterically at his emotionally-constipated expression from the afterlife.”

Or: Lance is badly injured and has a few skeletons in his closet.  Or maybe just the one.

a classic…. one of the first fics i read so i dont rmmbr much but yeah……

Stormchasing by sinelanguage

This isn’t how Lance intended to spend his vacation, chasing after Keith’s premonitions. But here he is, and he’s one hundred percent blaming Keith for all the trouble they’re about to get into. Keith makes bad decision, Lance makes mistakes, and both of them are stuck together on a space pirate adventure neither of them asked for.

if im not wrong i think this is one of those handcuffed together fics… also rly cute……

we’ll make it, you and me by asexualrey

“Keith, if we make it out of this alive, I’m going to kiss you.“ 

the description gives it away….. yall know what tf goin on……..

Public Displays of Affection by VaraderoBeach

Lance held his breath. He knew, at this rate, they’d have two options: fight with what they had (which was Keith’s knife and team spirit) and hope they can skirt by with the help of the locals, or submit and become prisoners to the Galra. Neither situation was ideal. Lance looked to Keith, at his eyes and his eye lashes, the curve of his nose and the pink in his lips. He knew it was bad timing, but he really wanted to kiss Keith before whatever happened, happened.

But when Keith turned his body to face him and said, “Kiss me.” With the same amount of emotion one would say, “Hand me that stapler,” it threw Lance completely off guard.

ft that scene from the winter soldier (i think??) yeah…… good food………

something as true as this by astrolesbian

“You better fucking call me,” Lance says, and reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and smiles, sad and bright all at once. “I’m not taking no for an answer on this one. Okay?”

“Okay,” Keith says.

and lastly yall shld know since this is the THIRD TIME im putting a fic like this on this list that i love this shit nd just….. yeah……….. op snapped

#this is long but YAH #also at third anon not all of these r fluff centric so whwjw sorry #Nessa replies #Anonymous #fics #klance